Archive of Our Own

Work Text

Emily dragged herself up the stairs toward the BAU briefing room clutching her morning coffee close. Rest had been elusive lately, and a tension had settled over her. The cause was no mystery. Two weeks ago, after a particularly trying case and a few too many drinks Emily had slept with her best friend. She eyed his broad shoulders and back as he walked ahead of her, making sure to avoid glancing further down appreciatively. Sleeping with Derek had been unsurprisingly mind blowing. They’d had a great deal of fun together and the morning after initially calmed her fears that it would ruin their friendship. They’d had coffee in her bed and agreed that it should probably be a one-time thing so as not to break fraternization protocols, they’d fooled around some more in the soft morning light, then he’d left.

For about a week that had been it. They’d fallen back on their friendship seamlessly, partners in the field, gym buddies back at Quantico, they’d even carpooled to the office the following Friday so she could go out for one of Garcia’s girls nights without having to leave her car at work. Then she’d volunteered to bait a suspected Unsub and lure him away from a crowded street festival. She’d thought nothing of using her looks or flirting with the man to gain his interest, she’d done it many times before: Paul Thomas, Paul Davies, Karl Arnold, Sydney Barret, James Thomas, not to mention Doyle.

Maybe that was the issue.

After the take down Derek had confronted her at their hotel, completely unsubtle in his jealousy and overprotectiveness. They’d fought, and then at some point the fight had turned to lust and the next thing Emily remembered she was eagerly pulling him toward her, wrestling him for dominance in a rough and needy joining against the hotel room door.  Try as they might, the easy slide back to platonic friendship didn’t materialize after that second encounter. They’d been dismissive if each other, and overly sensitive to differences in the field, downright confrontational when one didn’t back the other’s play. Regardless there were also moments where she could tell Derek was trying and so was she.

With a fortifying sip of strong coffee Emily ducked into the briefing room just after Derek, throwing him a friendly smile as they took seats beside one another. His returning smile, though tight, sent a tingle through her as it always did, making her squirm awkwardly until they were interrupted by their boss.

“We’re being brought in on a serial by another agency. We were asked to move our briefing to the SCIFF” Aaron Hotchner instructed his team without even looking up from his file. Emily exchanged glances with her colleagues to see if anyone had any idea what this was about, but they returned shrugs and confused looks all around.

The team filed into the room, leaving phones and weapons at the door with Emily trailing last, trying to gulp down as much caffeine as possible before she would be forced to leave her mug outside the secure room. She could see someone tall and well-dressed greeting the team as they each entered but didn’t get a clear view of the man until Derek and Rossi moved out of her way to sit. She froze, brown eyes meeting another pair a lot like her own in shock and concern. She tried to be smooth holding out her hand professionally while her eyebrows knit in question.

How do you want to play this?

Victor Prentiss was a tall well built man. Imposing, yet the silver hair at his temples and dotted through his trim beard softened the effect. His roughened hands grasped hers and the usually serious man allowed a genuine smile to escape.

“Emily” he greeted softly, but made no move to hide their familiarity. Emily smiled back and allowed her father to pull her from a handshake into a long hug. “How are you?”

“I’m great, Daddy, just surprised to see you” she told him. Victor nodded grimly, but his eyes sparked with mischief.

“In French?” Emily rolled her eyes and repeated herself in perfect French. Victor’s hand squeezed hers in quiet praise then released her to take a seat. “German” he said as he took a seat at the head of the table. Emily blushed and glanced around the room, knowing her very perceptive team was watching. She dutifully repeated herself in German, then Arabic and Spanish when prompted in her father’s familiar game.

“Are you just here to embarrass me in front of all my friends?”
She asked in Italian. Her father gave a low laugh before replying in Russian.

“Of course not, a bit of levity before business”
Emily gave the man a pointed look but stayed quiet.  Hotch cleared his throat.

“Thank you for coming Mr Prentiss” he said by way of starting their briefing, then turned to address the team. “We are looking at a series of murders around the DC area” behind him, a screen flashed and pictures of their victims began to fill the screen. “8 Men between 50 and 60 years old, found in hotel rooms”

“Eight?” It was Morgan who interrupted, his eyebrows crunched in concern “and we’re just hearing about it?” Hotch nodded sternly.

“There are a number of reasons, but namely the deaths occurred in hotel rooms locked from the inside and appeared to be accidental” he flipped the pictures on screen to show an image from one of the crime scenes.

“The kind of accident these mens’ families would rather not publicize” Rossi commented, earning nods from the team. The man was nearly naked, his right hand in his underwear presumably in the midst of pleasing himself, and around his neck a silk scarf tied to a hook on the wall behind him.

“Erotic asphyxiation” Reid said by way of agreeing. “One of the more dangerous fetishes but not uncommon” he began to rattle off more information largely ignored by the team. Victor made eye contact with his daughter and she shrugged with a smile.

“Common or not, 8 identical deaths in…” Emily reached out to flip open one of the files on the desk in front of them “6 months. That’s no accident. Are these men connected?”

“That’s why I’m here” her father finally spoke up. Now all business in his demeanour. “All of these men were counterintelligence agents working as handlers for American operatives and informants overseas” Emily’s eyes widened and she began to flip more attentively through the various crime scene photos.

“There’s no sign of torture” she observed “have their operatives been compromised?”

“Not a single one” sighed Victor “which is a good thing, but leaves us out of our depth in figuring out who’s killing our agents if not to get to their assets” Emily sighed with relief.

“Sorry” Derek piped up “who’s ‘we’?” Emily almost laughed but managed not to. Victor Prentiss shrugged and his eyes held the same humour as his daughter’s when she teased her team mates.

“If I told you I’d have to kill you” he shrugged.

“Well we’ve solved one mystery” Rossi laughed “where Emily gets that dark sense of humour” the rest of the team chuckled and Emily rolled her eyes again.

“CIA” Emily filled them in with a chastising tone for her father’s benefit.

“Did these agents or their operatives overlap at all?” JJ asked, getting them back on track.

“No” said Victor simply.

“No?” Derek asked. Victor shrugged again, much to Derek’s frustration.

“Our involvement in this case will be to produce a profile with what we have, and any other information we may need can be requested but given the nature of the work these men did, we may not get everything we ask for” Hotch stepped in.

“We can’t produce a usable profile without all the information, man” Morgan complained. “Who decides for us what is relevant and what’s not? I’m sure Mr Prentiss is very good at what he does but he’s not a profiler” the dark man had a point.
“But I am” Emily spoke up, turning to meet her father’s eyes. “That’s why you came to us. I’m a profiler with enough clearance to vet the more sensitive information about these victims”“That’s my smart little bird” Victor nodded with a grin. Emily’s stomach rolled and she found she couldn’t return his smile. It had been a long time since that particular name had crossed her father’s lips. He couldn’t possibly be suggesting… Emily tore her thoughts away from that dark place as Hotch began handing out assignments. Reid and Morgan to the newest crime scene, just an hour found. Rossi and JJ to the medical examiner and to speak with next if kin. Leaving Hotch and Emily standing awkwardly with her father in the SCIFF.“I’ll need personnel files on each of the victims, as much detail as possible” she told him “I know it’s a stretch but I’d like to know what their operatives were working on” Victor shook his head
“Personnel files on each of the murdered agents, but no information on current assignments or assets” he offered. Emily tucked a hair behind her ear and looked around the dark boardroom they stood in.

“And I’m just supposed to trust you that this has nothing to do with any current assignments or assets”
she complained in Arabic, guessing it was the least likely language that Hotch could guess her meaning.

“
Of course, I’m your father”
Victor replied sternly in Arabic as well.

“That will do for now then” Emily agreed in English, not breaking eye contact with Victor. “But if we don’t have any leads before I’m done reviewing what you give us, I’ll have to insist”

“I wouldn’t want that” her father nodded in agreement. “I’ve never had an easy time saying no to you. I’ll have those files sent here” the man looked like he wanted to say more but instead shook hands with Hotch and asked Emily to walk him out.

The walk through the halls was spent in strained silence. A small part of Emily wanted desperately to ask for clarification. Had he meant to call her by that decades old name? Was he trying to tell her something? But she knew she couldn’t. If the slip was intentional it meant her father was certain they were being watched.

“Your mother and I missed you at Christmas” he finally spoke. Emily did her best to keep herself from reacting. Her parents hadn’t been expecting her for Christmas, they’d been away.  Meaning he
was
really speaking in code, one established long ago during a time she and her father would both like to forget. Instead she smiled shyly and tried to remember the appropriate response.

“I was with Derek Morgan” she told him. “He’s a good man, but didn’t feel up to meeting the family” her father nodded in understanding. Christmas meant there was danger, his reference to her mother told her he’d taken the ambassador to safety. In response she’d let him know who she’d trust to help her should she have to do the same, while letting him know Derek had no connections to the CIA or international politics. In theory, he was un-compromised. The two came to a stop in front of the elevators and Victor turned to take his little girl in his arms.

“I love you little bird” he whispered. This time allowing his face to show her the fear and sadness he was feeling. “Remember what I taught you” Emily nodded silently, stealing herself for what was to come.

“Bye Daddy” she called as he moved into the elevator.

She had stopped in the bathroom to splash he face and allow herself a moment to think, however brief. She was back in the bullpen, half way to Hotch’s office when it happened. She felt the floor vibrate beneath her and had moments to respond as the lights flickered.

“Take cover” she yelled as glass broke and dust fell from the ceiling. Alarms blared, and somewhere a crackling speaker was attempting to communicate.

“A bomb” she heard someone say as she picked herself up off the ground and brushed the dust from her clothing. Around her agents jumped to action, moving away from doors and windows while checking in with their fellow agents. “They’re not calling for evacuation” said another, “everyone shelter in place”.

“Is anyone hurt?” Garcia’s shaky voice called over the crowd. Emily took in more detail, everyone seemed shaken but unharmed except for Anderson, who had been knocked around by a falling light fixture and was holding the sleeve of his blazer over his bleeding head wound.

“We aren’t near the blast” Emily supplied. “There was a delay, I could feel it moving toward us before the pressure wave got here. It must have been several floors down” she reasoned.

“The parkade” Hotch confirmed as he moved toward the group with a radio to his ear. “visitor parking, a car bomb somehow made it through our security, first responders aren’t worried about structural integrity so they’re asking us to shelter in place for now” it wasn’t until the unit chief made eye contact with her that Emily realized what that meant.

“Visitor parking” she repeated, her voice far away. She felt a shiver run up her spine. “My father” she stated. Hotch’s gaze reflected her worry but he said nothing. Something unpleasant tingled along the skin at the back of her neck. “The team?” She asked, voice tight. “They were heading out, they may have been in the parkade”.

“We’re here” JJ called from across the bullpen, she and Rossi had been in the older profiler’s office when the blast went off. Safe for the sake of a forgotten badge. Hotch, Emily and Garcia eyed each other.

“That leaves…” Garcia whispered. Emily already had her phone to her ear. She could only vaguely hear the ringing of the line over the buzzing in her ears

This is Derek Morgan, leave a message and I’ll get back to you …

Emily hung up before the tone and stamped down her worry, even as JJ indicated that Reid wasn’t answering either. Emily shook her head to indicate her lack of success reaching Derek and tried to follow the conversation over the blood pumping in her ears. The rest of the team were brainstorming next steps when she finally gave up and moved to sit at her desk with her head in her hands

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Au clair de la Lune, Mon ami Pierrot, Prête-moi ta plume, Pour écrire un mot…

Emily’s small voice hums quietly, her hands stroking the frayed yarn hair of her worn dolly. She knows she shouldn’t be here in the darkness of her father’s office, but her parents’ whispered fights and the house staff’s increased activity tells her that he’s leaving again and she hopes when he finds her here he’ll let her stay for a short while. Telling stories and playing the games he concocts for her. She hopes the smell of his pipe tobacco will cling to her hair and she wonders how long she could get away with not washing it away. The new nanny seems strict, but Emily hasn’t pressed her yet.

Ma chandelle est morte, Je n'ai plus de feu, Ouvre-moi ta porte, Pour l'amour de Dieu…

When he finds her, like she knew he would eventually, she turns her large dark eyes up at his exasperated but smiling face. His deep voice picks up her song and his large warm hands lift her from the leather chair she’s in so he can settle beneath her and hold her in his lap. They sing together to the end of the song.

“Must you go again?” Emily asks.

“Emily” he scolds, as she knew he would. He doesn’t say anything more than her name but in that tone it’s enough to hurt her. In this big house with endless space and a staff to dote on her she wants for nothing but his praise.

“Can we play a game?” She asks, hoping to divert him from her misstep to something she can excel at, some way she can prove herself. Victor smiles, lifting her lanky night-dressed body with him and setting her in a chair by his desk. He moves to the other side and they begin. Riddles and logic puzzles, sometimes physical puzzles she must put together or take apart or manipulate in some way, sometimes he just shows her maps or tells her stories that she must recall and use to solve problems. Recently he has been having her pick out patterns and find secret meanings within the notes he gives her about his travels. She basks in his attention, pushes her long dark braids back over her shoulders and smiles triumphantly when she breaks his code. Victors smile is more hesitant.

“Always remember what I’ve taught you, little bird” he tells her. 
—Emily snapped out of her memory. The remaining team members had given Emily her space as the activity of the bullpen whirled around her. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been staring at her desk but it had to have been at least an hour before someone pressed a cool bottle of water into her hands. She finally broke her thousand yard stare to take in Rossi leaning on the edge of her desk looking sympathetic. “Official word has come through, the bomb was under your father’s car. It was rigged to detonate when he entered the vehicle” the older profiler reached out and lightly grasped her wrist to steady the water in her shaking hand. “He’s gone, Emily”. She nodded sharply to show that she’d heard him and cleared her throat. “Morgan?” She asked “Reid?” “We still can’t get through to their phones but the shelter in place order has been lifted. If they’re among those that were being held for medical attention or at the gate trying to get back in they should be up here any minute” Rossi reassured her.Emily closed her eyes and nodded again doing her best to steady her shaking hands. She took a moment to let despair and doubt creep in, and to acknowledge the fear that this all could get substantially worse before it got better. To acknowledge the fear that she could die keeping secrets from her team. Again. To acknowledge the devastation and grief clamping firmly around her heart making her feel like a lost little girl. The heartbreak of potentially losing Derek while their relationship was so strained, and Reid who had been like the little brother she’d always wanted growing up. Then she put it away and stood up, fixing determined eyes on Rossi. “That’s my girl” Rossi smiled. “This case is all we have right now, we need to keep working this case” she said with clear voice. “They’ve lifted the shelter in place order, let’s go to the crime scene” Rossi stood with her and sent a nod to Hotch who had been watching them closely. “Who knows” Rossi said as he caught up with her “maybe Morgan and Reid are already there” Emily stopped in front of the elevators and eyed the line of people waiting to use them now that movement in the building was permitted. “Don’t do that” she scolded. “Don’t kid glove me. My father is dead, two of my best friends may be too, likely in connection to a serial killer who is compromising state secrets and the lives of American operatives” she turned her determined stare on him again. “I don’t need false hope, I need to work” she huffed a frustrated sigh and moved to the stairs rather than wait for the elevators. Now that the initial shock had worn off she also needed to move. —— The crime scene was immaculate. Emily watched as the medical examiner finally cut down the body of Harold Yi. 48, long since divorced, one barely adult son on his way to meet them at the coroners office. The posing of the body and crime scene left only one conclusion. Harold had come in alone, had a drink alone, watched a pornographic film and then rigged a noose to cut off his airway while he pleasured himself. “It occurs to me” Rossi called to her, inspecting the empty bottles on the minibar  “anyone experienced in breath play wouldn’t risk drinking before practicing alone” Emily sent him a raised eyebrow but didn’t ask him how he knew that. “So he was either inexperienced and this was an accident -which we know it isn’t- or it was part of the MO” she continued. “Part of the ruse to gain control?” Rossi asked. “Maybe” Emily said, moving around the room with renewed interest. “It would have to be a hell of a ruse to get an experienced intelligence agent to drop their guard long enough to get the drop on him” “Maybe he knew the unsub” Rossi suggested. Emily tilted her head to consider it, still scanning the room. “Guys like Mr. Yi here don’t necessarily trust people they know anymore than they trust strangers” She pointed out as her eye caught something. She reached up with a gloved hand to lightly bump a crooked vent cover and it came away, revealing a sizeable space behind. “Our Unsub is a woman” she concluded. Rossi raised his eyebrows at her to silently prompt an explanation. “Mr. Yi is a large man who’s definitely got some level of combat training, the alcohol is part of the MO because without it she couldn’t strong arm him into position. She would have to weaken him, or otherwise make him more compliant. She then locks the room from the inside and takes the only other exit” “That’s a pretty small exit, even for a slight woman” Rossi pointed out. “What about for an adolescent?” Emily asked in a far away voice. “You think an adolescent did this?” Rossi gestures to the now-empty bed. Emily shrugged to acknowledge him but didn’t face him. Instead she removed her belt and gun, then her boots and her blouse, leaving her in a close fitting tank top, slacks, and sock feet. Rossi stopped her. “What are you doing?” He asked. “I think I can fit, but I need to remove anything that might get snagged” she told him. Rossi eyed the vent then his colleague.“We could just find a building schematic to see where it leads” he told her. “I have a hunch, I need to go in to confirm it” she insisted. Emily climbed up on a dresser and angled herself to slip her head and shoulders into the small entrance at an angle. The edge of the hanging grate scraped along her ribs and she feared her hips may not make the journey but with a determined grunt and some bruises blossoming over her rear, she found herself inside a relatively spacious air vent. She turned and poked her head out and grinned at Rossi. “Pass me a flashlight?” “Impressive” Rossi said as he handed her a pen light. The crawl space illuminated and Emily slid silently to the right along the ventilation shaft, reasoning their Unsub would more likely move toward the outside of the building rather than further in. She found what she was looking for at the far end, a scrap of green painters tape marking one of the vents, the screws that would normally hold it in place missing so the vent could be knocked loose like the one in Harold Yi’s room. Through the grate Emily could see the room was clean and virtually unused but for a single item on the bed. She lay in wait, watching and listening for several minutes to be sure the room was uninhabited before pushing through the vent into the room below. She landed softly and moved silently across the carpeted floor to the item that had caught her eye. A file folder, unmarked but for a small inked stamp of a swallow. A quick scan of the room showed nothing else so Emily grabbed the folder and hoisted herself back into the vent. Once again hidden, she reviewed the folder’s contents with the pen light and put it down next to the vent she’d just used to access to second room and moved back toward the crime scene. “I found a marked vent near the back stairs where our Unsub probably cleaned up and a maintenance point where she could have slipped out of the building without cameras catching her - either the back stairs or the maintenance point would make a clean exit” Emily told Rossi as she lowered herself back into the room.  “It looks like housekeeping has already been there, and even though we won’t find anything Garcia should see who booked it” Rossi nodded as Emily dressed again, but stayed silent until they were back in the car. “Do you want to call Garcia?” He asked. His companion shook her head quietly and turned to watch the passing scenery as Rossi pulled the SUV into traffic then made the call with his hands free. “We found them” Garcia cheered over the phone in lieu of her usual quirky greetings. “Morgan and Reid were cut off from contact in the blast but not hurt, they’ve just cleared medical and are on their way back up to the bullpen” Rossi sighed with relief. Emily drew in a shaky breath and blew out a quiet sob. “Thank god” the older agent responded while Emily reined in her emotions “We’re on our way from crime scene to coroner, do you have a minute to run something for us” “Ask and thou shall receive” the analyst chirped.“We need to know who checked into room 803 at the hotel where Harold Yi was found” Emily piped up. “The name will likely be an alias, when you run it, see if you can tie it to any known operatives, any agency” “That might be a reach” Garcia said “I can try, but that’s the kind of sneaky information I can’t just ask nicely for”“Just do your best” Rossi assured her before hanging up and sparing a glance at his passenger. Emily avoided his eye and heaved another sigh of relief. Her best friends were safe, she could still make things right with Derek, they had a lead, and Rossi didn’t seem to have caught on that she was leaving something out. The drive through various neighbourhoods to reach the DC coroner gave Emily plenty of time to mentally review the contents of the file she’d found. It had contained only two items, an old missing person report and a personnel file. The first for one twelve year old Ainsley Carter posted in 1989, and the personnel file of a man that Emily knew well, or so she thought. Her father. Their meeting with the coroner was quick, but informative. Though the examiner had only started her preliminary inspection of Yi’s remains she had done them the favour of gathering the findings from each of the other deaths and summarized the similarities and differences. She’d also allowed them to accompany Charlie Yi, the victim’s 19 year old son, for the official identification. “Yeah” the young man seemed resigned to confirm “that’s him, that’s my dad” Rossi patted the kid on the back and led him out into a small office away from the body. “Do you know who might have a reason to kill your father?” Rossi asked. Charlie shrugged and ran a hand over his face. “He didn’t really talk to me about anything” he told them. “Did he do or say anything in the last few weeks that seemed off or out of character?” Emily asked gently. “Anything that might indicate he was in trouble?” The young man seemed to consider this for a long time. “Dad was always cool as a cucumber under pressure, didn’t really show when he was stressed” Charlie said. “But the last time I saw him he seemed, I don’t know, restless? Jumpy? He came to have lunch with me on my college campus, and then when we were leaving he sort of pulled me into a service corridor and said he loved me and to remember what he taught me” the hair on Emily’s neck stood on end. “Remember what he taught you?” She repeated “what did he mean my that?” “It’s something he used to say when I was a kid, he’s unflappable but still a pretty anxious Dad I guess because we would do these drills” Charlie shrugged “we’d have hiding places in the house, or if we were travelling we would have specific plans for who to call or where to go if something happened” “Do you know why he made you do those drills?” Emily asked. Charlie shook his head. “No, I never really thought about it until recently” he chuckled suddenly “it’s funny actually I thought it was just something everybody did until I moved out for college and in with a few roommates. They didn’t seem to think we needed emergency bags stocked with transit maps or hidden compartments to hide in, we all had a good laugh about it” “Was there a place he told you to go if anything ever happened while you were away at college?” Emily asked. Charlie thought hard again then nodded. “I can write down the address” he said. ——“This seems to confirm the drug theory, small amounts of alcohol and rohypnol in each of the victims wouldn’t be enough to incapacitate them entirely but they would be weak and suggestible enough for our Unsub to manipulate” Emily commented from the passenger seat where she was skimming through the coroner’s notes. “She’s slight, smart enough to gain access to these undoubtedly paranoid men, and skilled enough to move in and out of a seemingly locked room without detection” “What are you thinking?” Rossi asked, pulling up to the security check in line at Quantico.  From the looks of things, the flow of personnel in and out of the building was now moving efficiently while clean up crews still worked in a cordoned off area on the east side of the building. Emily gazed at the organized chaos of equipment and crew, and the damage the explosion had caused to the parkade entrance. 
Your mother and I missed you at Christmas 
Victor Prentiss had known he was in danger and instead of following his wife into hiding he had brought this trouble to his daughter. Emily wasn’t sure if she should be angry with him or proud that he’d trusted her. Evidently Charlie Yi was mostly oblivious to his father’s work, and for a moment Emily let herself envy that about the young man. “Emily?” Rossi called. She snapped back to the present and handed her ID to the agent working the checkpoint. “I asked if you have a theory” the older agent repeated before following the check point agent’s directions to a temporary parking lot. “No good ones” she dismissed. It annoyed her how easily the lie came. “I need to see Morgan and Reid with my own eyes, then we can share what we’ve found with the team” she offered. ——“It certainly fits, the drugs, the tidiness of the scenes, and the body type needed to exit the room” Hotch confirmed their working theory. Emily tried not to inch closer to Derek, who was pouring over the medical examiner reports. Her reunion with her friends had been cut short by Hotch calling them back into the SCIFF, leaving painfully little time to relish Reid’s awkward but reassuring smile and Derek’s relieved embrace. Despite her earlier focus on the case, the moment her eyes landed on him, whole and safe in the bullpen she’d had trouble focusing on anything else. “That doesn’t really give us anything new though” Derek pointed out. “We still don’t know how she’s accessing these victims or why” “Hopefully this will help” Garcia spoke up, heaving eight heavy folders onto the table. “Mr. Prentiss must have made the call to have these sent over before…” the analyst cut herself off and sent a teary look toward Emily. “Before he was blown to pieces” Emily finished for her in a hard tone. “It’s ok to say it”. She didn’t dare look up at all of their worried sympathetic faces. “If no current operatives or assets have been compromised then maybe we can find a woman who was previously connected to each of these men somehow” JJ said to change the subject. Emily threw her a quiet look of thanks. “Did your alias search garner any leads, Penelope?” Rossi asked. “It may be in these files” “Already checked” Garcia brightened up “the alias used to book the second hotel room was Anna Finch, credit card checks out but I have nothing else on this person in the real world or any database, these personnel files are marked for Emily’s eyes only. Finding out if the alias is attached to any known agent or operative is going to take much longer”“Do you recognize it, Emily?” Reid asked “do the initials indicate any specific operation, or the naming convention? Perhaps the finch is symbolic of something. An alias would normally use a surname that’s much more common” “It’s another little bird” Emily commented. Confusion passed over the faces of the team. “That’s the nickname your father called you” Morgan pointed out. “It’s not a nickname” she sighed “it’s a code. Daddy knew he was in trouble and he was worried someone was listening. From what Charlie Yi told us about the last time he saw his father, I think Harold Yi knew something as well. Someone needs to check the address Charlie gave us, I suspect it’s a safe house and Harold may have had a foxhole there”“Do you think your father is another victim of this Unsub?” JJ asked. Emily shook her head and stood, pacing back and forth along the table in the SCIFF. She had studiously avoided any details related to her father’s death so it was hard to say who set the bomb. A chill suddenly forced itself along her spine and her hands started to tremble. JJ moved close and put a steadying hand on her friend’s arm. “Are you ok?” “Yeah, I’m fine, I don’t know why I’m shaking” Emily said. Yet she was, with each passing moment the tremor moving through her became harder to control and her jaw ached with the effort to keep her teeth from chattering. “Its ok, we’re all here with you” JJ reassured her, she remained close while Derek stepped in and rubbed her arms, as though trying to warm her up. She wanted nothing more than to lean into his comfort but just as she thought she may be able to settle into him, her stomach churned. “I need some air” Emily stated in the strongest voice she could muster, and pushed her way out of the SCIFF ——Emily knew the team wouldn’t let her wander far, but she’d expected JJ or Rossi. Perhaps even Reid. Instead she found herself next to Derek, leaning against a section of temporary fencing watching crime scene and clean up crews clear the bomb debris. Emily decided she appreciated his quiet brooding next to her over JJ’s gentle empathy and Rossi’s tough love routine. If nothing else, she was comforted to know that her relationship with Derek wasn’t so far gone that he couldn’t offer support like this. They’d been standing there in the waning light of evening for half an hour when she finally glanced in his direction, noting the way the setting sun illuminated his dark skin and deepened the intensity of his eyes. “I haven’t even checked in on the bomb squad investigation” her voice was rough with disuse and held a far away quality that Derek recognized from the few times he’d seen her openly in grief. “My father is dead, and I can’t bring myself to find out how or think about why”“That’s ok” Morgan comforted “it will take a while to sink in, knowing the details will make it more real than your heart and mind are willing to deal with right now” Emily nodded her agreement and the two lapsed into another silence. She felt her friend move closer and gently wrap an arm around her shoulders to pull her close. “I was terrified” Derek admitted after a few long moments. “The blast went off and Reid and I were already inside the SUV. We got thrown around a bit and enough rubble came down that we couldn’t get out but we weren’t hurt. Our phones lost signal down there so we just had to sit there and wonder where the bomb had been and how much damage it had caused. I was worried I’d never get a chance to set things right with you. I was so worried about my own feelings I didn’t even consider that you had family in the building. I’m sorry you’re going through this” Emily said nothing in response but turned into Derek’s embrace, leaning heavily into his broad chest and wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. “It doesn’t take a profiler to guess you probably haven’t eaten today” he said after several long minutes had passed. “Let’s get out of here”. Derek kept his arm around her as they moved toward the temporary parking lot. Emily realized she had no idea the state of her own vehicle, but trusted that Derek knew where he was leading her. They climbed into a government SUV that already contained her go-bag from the bullpen and Derek pulled them easily away from the complex. She smiled faintly, realizing he had anticipated everything she needed in this moment when the grief caught up to her. She didn’t question him when he pulled into his own driveway, ushered her into his kitchen, and sat her on a stool at the island with a class of iced water and lime. She watched him begin to pull ingredients from the cupboard and cook a simple dinner of vegetable fried rice. This was something she’d never considered, Derek in such a blatantly domestic role feeding her after a long hard day. They remained quiet through dinner, though she did compliment the dish and thank him for his care, but he didn’t seem eager to push her to talk and so she didn’t.When she’d eaten most of the bowl he’d given her and drank another full glass of water, she insisted on helping him with the dishes. He left her alone to finish drying the pans and cutlery, then returned to lead her to the bathroom off the master bedroom. She gasped when she saw the long claw foot tub full of steaming water and fragrant bubbles. He hugged her again before handing her a towel and her go-bag then left her alone. Emily took no time to undress and ease herself into the tub, moaning quietly as the hot water soothed her aching muscles. She didn’t stop until she was fully submerged, the water blocking all sound but the pumping of her own blood. She stayed under until her lungs screamed for air then emerged with a gasp that quickly turned into a sob. Emily couldn’t remember the last time she allowed herself this indulgence, but right there in Derek’s bathroom she finally cried. Heaving uncontrollable sobs rolled through her, causing her to hiccup and shake and wail.By the time she was calm again the water had gone cold but she used it to wash up, then dried herself and dug through the clothing in her go-bag for comfortable shorts and a threadbare Yale t-shirt. When she finally reappeared in the bedroom Derek was sitting in bed with a book open in his lap. “Feeling better?” He asked gently, putting the book aside. Emily smiled softly. “Very much” she told him “thank you, for knowing what I needed” he nodded and scratched his neck nervously.“I’m here for you” he said “always. So let me know how else I can help, tell me what else you need and I’ll move heaven and earth to give it” “I know you will. I don’t know if it’s need,” Emily said in a moment of bravery “but I would really like to be held.” She gestured nervously to the spot in bed beside him and his answering smile felt like it could light a city block. “Please” he welcomed her into bed by lifting the comforter and tucking it around her as she settled in beside him. It took a moment for them to find a comfortable arrangement, but eventually she curled into his side with one of his arms around her and her head pillowed against his chest. He pressed a chaste kiss to her hair and picked up the book again, this time reading out loud so she could feel the soft vibration of his voice along with his heartbeat under her ear. As he read, the hand behind her, the one not holding the book, trailed absently up and down her bare arm. She had no time to even register what he was reading before sleep took her, but she couldn’t miss the way her stomach flopped and her chest and filled with warmth in his care.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

She woke alone surrounded by his scent. If it weren’t for the bright glow of sunlight that told her she’d over-slept she would have happily stayed cocooned there forever. Instead she sat up and found a clock across the room. It was shockingly late in the morning, a quick calculation told her she’d been asleep for over 12 hours. Emily was quite sure she’d never slept that long without being anesthetized. She spotted a hooded sweatshirt over the back of a chair and pulled it on to keep out the chill of the room, then went in search of her host. He was sitting at the kitchen island next to a full pot of coffee with case files spread out in front of him while Garcia chattered over speaker phone. Emily leaned casually against the doorframe and took in the scene until he took notice of his audience and smiled, eyebrows raised as he indicated his sweatshirt wrapped around her slender frame. He stood and put a finger to his lips, indicating she should stay quiet then pulled her into a warm hug. Quietly he sat her down in the chair beside his and pushed a steaming cup of coffee toward her. Garcia was lamenting the intricacies of intergovernmental relations and data storage and seemed happy to continue on obliviously as her friends shared a quiet moment in the late morning sun of Derek’s kitchen. It wasn’t until the tech analyst asked a question and was met with silence that she realized she’d lost her sounding board. “Sorry, baby girl” Derek jumped after Garcia had repeated his name a few times “I didn’t get that” “It doesn’t really matter” Garcia forgave easily “are you ok?” She gasped and interrupted any answer he may have given “is she awake? Are you going to kiss her good morning? Did you tell her how you…” “I’m right here” Emily interrupted, sending Derek a look. “He did better than a kiss, he made coffee” her voice sounded confident but a blush and shy smile were erupting over her face. “Can you tell me anything new about our victims? I know it’s hard without those personnel files but I’ll be in to review them soon” “No need, princess” it was Derek’s turn to interrupt. “The files are on their way here. I know you don’t want time off right now, so we are working from here today to at least pretend that you’re taking the time to rest and grieve” Emily bristled but wasn’t able to retort when Garcia launched into a review of her findings. All eight victims had long careers in the DOJ, state, and CIA, all were family men with adult children living in DC. More interestingly, all made large money transfers to offshore accounts on the same day they checked into the hotel rooms where they were killed. “…and I’m talking large money, like more than a call-girl you’d meet for some breath-play in a fancy hotel room” Garcia finished. “Anything on the accounts the money was transferred to?“ Emily asked. “Not really, I’m sorry. They were all directed to different accounts at different banks but the money was then transferred out again and I lose track of it pretty quickly after that” the analyst apologized. Emily nodded despite the fact that Garcia couldn’t see her, and quietly flipped through the file closest to her. “Is that everything, Penelope?” Derek asked. “For now” she confirmed “but you know I can’t stay away, I’ll be back to wow you as soon as I have more” “Good bye silly girl” Derek laughed and cut the call. He watched Emily chew at her lip as she pretended to concentrate on the files in front of her. He didn’t buy it for a second, he knew lip chewing meant she was worrying about something, when she was concentrating on a case her brows did all the work while her lips gently pouted in a way that he found unendingly distracting. “I’m sorry about Garcia, she…”“It’s ok” Emily forgave without meeting his eyes. “I didn’t realize you’d told her about…”“I didn’t tell her much, but she’s actually a pretty decent profiler herself” Derek laughed. “She knew something between you and I had changed from the beginning” Emily raised her eyebrows at that and finally met his eyes. “That’s exactly what we said we didn’t want” she reminded him “for things to change” “That was maybe a little naive of us” Derek admitted, causing Emily to huff a sarcastic chuckle. “And I know this is the worst time for us to make any decisions about what that means so I’ll drop it, but no matter what I’m here and I care for you” “We were very dramatically reminded yesterday that life is very short and unpredictable” Emily said while searching his eyes for evidence of his feelings. “No matter what, I’m here and I care for you too… And … well, if you wanted to kiss me good morning I would probably kiss you back” she watched a smile bloom across his face as he put his coffee down and stood next to her still seated on her stool by the kitchen island. “Is that so?” He asked simply as he moved in. She nodded shyly and met his lips half way in a slow sweet kiss that sent her body tingling. “Good morning” he whispered when they parted. “How did you sleep?”“Surprisingly better than I have in my life” she told him honestly “I think it was the company” he hugged her close for a moment before letting her go and moving to the refrigerator.  “I’m going to prepare some fuel for that beautiful brain of yours while you go over what we have. Those other files are on their way, and after breakfast we can check in with the rest of the team” again Emily was struck by this domestic version of Derek, but she relented to his plan and went about reviewing the case files with renewed focus until he placed a poached egg on whole grain toast and a some fresh fruit in front of her.“You don’t have to impress me you know, I would have been happy with a protein bar” she laughed. Derek gently tested their new closeness by running a hand through her hair and across her shoulders as he sat down beside her and refilled their coffee cups.“I’m glad I impress you” he said with a wink “but that’s not why I made you a proper breakfast” Emily eyed him intently but Derek didn’t seem in a hurry to share anymore about his real motives so she gently squeezed his shoulder affectionately before she quietly started eating. Afterward she changed into dark jeans and tank top from her bag, then after a moment of indecision she pulled Derek’s sweatshirt back on. Later, after breakfast was cleared and the courier had arrived with the personnel files, they’d slipped into quiet focus.“I think I could use some company today” Emily said suddenly hours later, pushing her note pad toward Derek and grabbing her phone to dial Garcia. “Why hello, crime fighter” the analyst answered. “Garcia, do you think the team could join me for lunch?” She asked. “I could use my friends around me today” Garcia caught on quickly and asked if she could bring anything. “Just yourselves” Emily smiled. When the team shuffled into Derek’s place 45 minutes later confused, Emily tried to look apologetic as she quietly collected their cell phones, took them to another room, and placed them next to a speaker playing top 40s radio. When she came back they were all seated around Derek’s living room looking at her expectantly. “I’m sorry, my Father seemed to think someone might be listening and I didn’t want to risk sharing what I found over the phone or where someone could listen in” she explained. “Each of our victims were connected to an operation in the 80’s called “Operation Dip” she told them. “There’s no detail in the files but, I’m pretty sure my father was also involved”“What makes you say that?” Hotch asked. “My father loved birds” she smiled wistfully “He tried to teach me all about them, but I never really got into it like he did” “Dip is a term that birders use to describe a bird you miss or take no notice of in the environment” Reid supplied excitedly “you think your father was involved enough to name it?” “I also recognized one of our victims, a Richard Borges. He was connected to Dip from 1982 to 1996” Emily supplied. “Which is exactly 13 years longer than Operation Dip was thought to have run” “You seem to know an awful lot about an operation that started when you were, what? 10 years old” Rossi interrupted suddenly. Emily tensed, knowing the older profiler was about to launch into his no-nonsense tough love mentor routine. A nervous laugh escaped her, and she rolled her eyes at herself. “It’s the oldest spy craft cliche there is” she said, keeping her eyes on the ceiling and tipping her head back to collect her thoughts. “Yet it’s amazing how many governments tried to make it work over the years” “What’s that?” Derek prompted when she seemed to pause too long. Emily shook herself free of her darkening thoughts and paced toward the door and back to her place behind the sofa where Garcia and JJ sat. “Dip” she said again “that’s what they wanted. Operatives that no one would expect or even take notice of in the environment.“Children” Rossi concluded “you asked if this could have been done by an adolescent” Emily nodded. “It was meant to be a pilot, we had no idea it went on for so long” Emily confirmed. “A natural target was children accompanying parents on diplomatic postings. At age 10 I was enrolled into a training program, set up on paper to look like an elite boarding school, and at 12 I was sent with my mother when she was awarded a long term ambassadorship to Russia.” “Holy shit” It was Garcia who broke the tense silence after Emily’s confession. Emily laughed, grateful for the relief. “I think our Unsub is another trainee” Emily said. “I knew Borges, and I recognize the faces of some of these other men. They were likely instructors and handlers. They were also calculating, efficient, and extremely goal oriented which made them great agents, but it also meant that the physical and emotional needs of the kids in their care were often secondary to them. I’m not saying I was mistreated, but they needed highly skilled operatives in adolescent bodies, and they built them with every tactic they could think of”“So these deaths could be revenge killings” Hotch concluded. Emily barely managed not to jump when she felt JJ reach for her hand. “Didn’t mistreat you?” JJ asked incredulously “Emily, that was still too much for a child to bare” Emily nodded with a grimace but didn’t respond. “Revenge would seem to make sense, but what about the sexualized posing of the bodies?” Morgan pushed “if this is about being pushed into service as a child, the posing of these bodies has a very specific kind of revenge message” “Forensic countermeasure?” JJ offered as an explanation. “I don’t think so” Reid answered “an unsub this organized, particularly one with training in counterintelligence, would know that an MO this distinct would connect all the deaths making it easier to find them, not harder” “Maybe that’s what she wants” Emily said, her brows knit as pieces came together. “You think she wants to be caught?” Hotch asked. Emily shook her head. “No. I think she wants to expose them” she corrected “she arranged these deaths to literally expose their bodies in the most vulnerable way, while the asphyxiation could signify justice. Look at them, they weren’t just strangled, they were hanged”“She must know that can’t happen” Rossi argued. “The CIA isn’t just going to write up a press release admitting to using child soldiers” Emily bristled at the term but couldn’t argue that he was wrong. That’s what she had been. A child soldier, then a CIA whore, and even now when she thought she’d escaped she was being used as a pawn. “No, but the investigation has found its way to me” she pointed out “I think our Unsub knows who I am, and I think she knew my Father would make contact to draw me in” “She sees you as an ally” JJ picked up the thread. “And she expects that you’ll want to expose them as much as she does” “She isn’t really sending me ally vibes by putting a bomb under my father’s car” Emily snapped, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t think she’s the bomber” Reid corrected. “Think about it. His death has none of the elements the others do, and the profile for those murders don’t match the profile of a car bomber” “You said your father was involved at the beginning but thought the project was shut down?” Rossi asked. Emily nodded to confirm. “Why did he leave the project?” “I don’t know” Emily could tell the older profiler didn’t believe her“A man as decorated and ambitious as Victor Prentiss doesn’t start a pet project like this and just leave it to someone else to develop and take credit” Rossi pushed “he felt so strongly about it he was willing to use his own daughter, something must have happened to make him walk away, and for someone to let him think it was shut down when he did”. “I swear to you, Rossi, I don’t know” Emily exclaimed. “Like you said, I was just a kid” “A kid trained to collect information, to remember everything, to think strategically” the veteran profiler argued. “Think, Emily, why did your father walk away from Operation Dip?” Emily pulled her hand from JJ’s grasp and paced again. “Rossi” Derek stepped in with a glare, “she said she doesn’t know” “He’s right though” Hotch intervened while keeping his eyes on Emily. “You were a kid trained to remember details. I worked for your family, remember? It was no secret Victor was grooming you to follow in his footsteps. Morgan will take you through a cognitive. JJ, and I will work any and all connections we have to find out why your father left the project like he did. Rossi and Reid, take a closer look at the bombing and find out how Victor Prentiss’s death fits into this. Garcia, there’s still the matter of the money transfers that doesn’t fit the revenge motive, follow that money, try to connect it to something else they did or someone they contacted before they died and if that fails, see what the family’s of the victims know about it”.  Garcia looked nervous about the prospect of interviewing victim’s families but didn’t argue.“There’s also this” Garcia jumped in, holding a tiny USB drive out for Emily. “Hotch and JJ recovered it this morning from the safe house Charles Yi lead us to. I didn’t understand what I was looking at before but now I think it may be what you need, I think it’s to do with Dip.” ——“It’s a list of birds” Derek said. Emily groaned. They were back at their makeshift desk on the kitchen island with a laptop between them scrolling through the single file on the recovered USB. “Seems kind of predictable but I think they’re code names” she corrected. Then scrolled and highlighted one in particular “gold finch, I’m guessing that’s our Anna Finch” “We just need to figure out what this means” he agreed, gesturing to the string of numbers following the name of each bird. “Too short for a phone number, too long for a date, doesn’t look like coordinates either” “This feels like a job for Reid” Emily muttered, rubbing her eyes as the numbers in the spreadsheet blurred in front of her. Derek chuckled in agreement. “Maybe something you remember will help?” He prompted. Emily didn’t respond. They’d been tip-toeing around the suggested cognitive since the rest of the team had left. “I know it feels really vulnerable, but I promise you’re safe with me” “I know that” Emily told him, reaching out to grasp one of his hands “I’ve always felt safe with you, and that’s no small thing for me. I think the problem is that I don’t always feel safe with myself. Which I guess is pretty weird.” “No I think I get it” Derek assured her. He gently turned her stool to face him and took both her hands in his, stooping slightly to put them at eye level. “Feeling relaxed?” He asked. Emily took a deep breath and nodded. Derek watched her eyes flutter shut and waited until the crease between her eyebrows smoothed and her jaw released. “Perfect” he said wistfully, her lips quirked in a small smirk at his obvious distraction and he cleared his throat before continuing. “Where did you live when you were 10?” He started. Emily’s mind immediately began building the manicured gardens and vibrant red brick house with soft white shutters and a large welcoming entrance at the top of an arching driveway. “We moved home from Syria when I was 10” she muttered “my parents are happy to be home in DC but I find it too wet and cold and too lonely, I want the dessert sun and all the kids playing at the compound in Damascus”“Tell me about your family there, how did you spend your time in DC?” Derek led her.“After the massacres in Aleppo, Mother requested a sabbatical, for the first time in my life she’s home every day when I finish school. Daddy still works long hours, but now he has an office in the house” she said, her eyebrows furrowing again. “What are you remembering about the office?” Derek asked. “He brings me in every evening after supper and lets me look through his library. I can smell the musty pages of the old books. Reid would love it here” “What else?” Derek pushed.“He tests me” she said “he’s always played these games with me, pop quizzes, riddles, puzzles. He’s delighted when I get it right. But lately the tests confuse me, they’re different, but he says I have to prepare” “Prepare for what?” “For our next assignment” she says “I’m disappointed because I know that means we’ll be moving again”“Did anyone ever join you in his office?” Derek asks. “Borges” Emily says with a frown “he was on our security detail when we were oversees. He still comes by to tutor me in self defence, but it was confusing when he joined me in Daddy’s office. That was supposed to be time just for me. he was always quiet, like he doesn’t want me to remember he’s there” “Ok, Emily this is great, now I want to take you to the first time you learned about Operation Dip” Derek directed her, watching the features of her face closely for any indication she was upset or uncomfortable. “I’m watching Daddy’s assistant put my bags in the car” she said “I’m trying not to cry. I don’t want to go away for school, but I know I shouldn’t cry. mother doesn’t like it when I whine and Daddy says I need to be strong”“Who else is with you?” Derek asked, frowning at the unmet need for reassurance she’s described. “Daddy is here, and Mr. Borges” Emily says in a strong voice. “Daddy seems angry with him, I can hear them even though they’re trying to whisper, Mr Borges is telling him that I’m strong and smart. That I have great potential. They’re talking about Russia. He says Operation Dip needs proof. I think… I think Daddy might be having second thoughts” “Second thoughts about sending you to the school?” Emily nods and heaves a shaky breath.“I don’t hear the name again until much later, I’m briefed when I’m leaving the program” “Ok. Take me there to that briefing” “I’ve been away for over a year but I’m back in Daddy’s office. He has a test for me…”
Good little bird, I think you’re ready
“He is pleased with my performance, but he looks worried. He tells me that I’m a Dip, the little bird others won’t realize is there. He tells me Mother has been posted to Moscow and that I’m to go with her. There are pictures of children I’m meant to befriend and men I’m to recognize and remember everything I hear them say but I mustn’t tell anyone, not even Mother. Mr. Borges is the only one I’m to talk to about Dip” “He was your handler?” Derek confirms. Emily nods and her eyebrows knit “I meet with him every week for more tutoring. Self-defence, martial arts, endurance training, and he asks me questions. For two years”“What happened then?” “Mother’s been reassigned. But there’s also…”“Also what, Emily?” “There are threats and accusations. Adults whisper about it because they don’t want me to hear and then Mr. Borges stops coming. Mother tightens security, she and my father fight over the phone. The week before we leave Russia, there’s a break-in. Someone broke into our house”“Do you remember the break in?” Emily shakes her head even as memories jump forth. “I remember breathing” she says “breath in to slow my heart, breath out focus on my goal”“What’s your goal”“I need to kill him” she says regretfully “I need to kill him or he will kill me. I don’t know where anyone is, I’m alone. I can feel a breeze from the open window, I can feel the carpet under my bare feet, I can hear a clock down the hall, a big clock in the den but the house is silent. I can’t even hear the night watch in guard station outside, but I can see his reflection in a  window pane. He is moving toward my bedroom” “Who is he” Derek asks. His own anxiety jumping as he watched her start to draw further into the memory and react as though she’s still that scared 14 year old girl. “I crush his hand in the door when he gets close” she says, ignoring him “ but I can’t close it, so I grab the broken hand and twist to try and control him but he lifts me by my nightgown, the back of it, like a puppy. I kick him and poke my fingers into his eyes but he doesn’t let go, he pushes me to the floor, he grabs a pillow and I can see that he means to smother me… Breath in slow my heart breath out focus on my goal… I kick over the nightstand and it falls on him, I find something heavy, a typewriter, a gift from Daddy… Breath in slow my heart, breath out focus on my goal… I know I’ll only have one good shot, I need to kill him or he’ll kill me” “Emily who is it?” Derek interrupts the attack “who is he?” Her eyes snapped open. “It’s Mr. Borges” she gasps. “I hit him, hard, and when his body is limp I run to the panic room, just like Daddy told me. I remembered what he taught me, I ran straight to the panic room without stopping and closed the door. I waited until someone with the code opened it from the outside” she’s breathing heavily, her eyes wide with the realization that this fragment of a nightmare she’s had now and then over the years was actually a memory. One she’s repressed for a long time. “Mr Borges tried to clean up, and my Father would have been furious. It all stopped after that, Mother and I moved to Italy but Daddy stayed in DC. I tried to be a normal kid, I tried to forget”. “That was exactly the right thing for you to do, Emily” Derek soothed. He gripped her hands again, moving his thumbs in comforting circles over her knuckles. “You did so well, I know this was hard but you’re so strong. We can stop now, I’ll get you a cup of tea and we can rest” Emily nodded, suddenly exhausted despite all the sleep she’d gotten. She moved to the sofa in the living room, pulling a soft throw blanket over her shoulders and breathing deeply to calm herself. In the kitchen, Derek put the kettle on then quickly wrote up a summary of what Emily had remembered, sending it to Hotch just as the kettle whistled. He was just arranging two mugs and some crackers to carry into the living room when he heard the doorbell and goosebumps erupted over the back of his neck. “Are you expecting anyone?” Emily whispered as she met him in the hallway and moved with him toward the door. He shook his head and motioned to a cabinet where she would find a gun. He tried not to accept it when she pushed it into his hands but she smirked at him and insisted “I guarantee I know more ways to defend myself with my bare hands than you do” she sassed. If he weren’t so on edge the comment would have delighted him with her resilience despite the memories they’d just dredged up. He stood back, weapon at the ready while she peered out the small peep hole in the door, and then cautiously opened the door to reveal a small boy that Derek recognized from next door. “Sorry to bother you Mr Morgan, but a woman asked me to deliver this” the boy pushed a plain white envelope forward and allowed Emily to take it. He nodded politely then ran off in the direction of a group of other children on bikes. Emily had just closed the door, torn open the envelope, and registered the short message when she heard a strangled grunt behind her. 
Made you look

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

made you

look

Emily stayed calm as she took in the small blonde woman who’d surprised them. She’d obviously snuck in the back while they’d answered the front door, then used their distraction to blitz Derek, kicking his knees out to force him into a kneel and stripping the gun from him in the blink of an eye. She held the gun to his head and met Emily’s eyes with a glare. She didn’t have to speak for Emily to understand the threat. Comply or he dies.

“Are you Anna Finch?” Emily asked coolly, as though she was chatting with a stranger in the coffee line.

“Some call me that” the blonde confirmed in a gravelled voice.

“What can I call you?” Emily asked. The woman laughed coldly.

“You don’t need to call me anything, because building a rapport won’t change the outcome” she assured her, then tossed Emily a pair of handcuffs, her own handcuffs that had been with her belt and gun in her go-bag. Emily wondered vaguely how long the woman had been in the house. “Put those on, then follow me back to my vehicle in the alley. I have something to show you”.

“Emily don’t” Derek pleaded, she met his eyes apologetically and tightened one cool metal bracelet around her left wrists before pausing.

“I take it you’ll leave him unharmed if I cooperate with you?” The woman nodded. “what about me?” Emily asked.

“Hurting you isn’t part of my plan” the woman told her “but don’t think I won’t if it comes to that” Emily nodded and slipped the other cuff around her right wrist, pushing it closed with a decisive click. She raised her hands for the woman to see that she’d done as asked. Her arms were secured. The woman produced another pair, Derek’s no doubt, and handed them to Emily. “You’ll secure him somewhere to wait. He must not follow us”

“Ok” Emily agreed, then met Derek’s eyes again. She tried to smile for him but it came as more of a grimace and his brooding face didn’t look keen on returning a smile. “I’m sorry Derek, but I believe she won’t hurt me” she told him as she slipped one cuff around his right wrist and pulled him into a stretch so she could loop the other cuff through the handle of the heavy cabinet the gun had been in. He’d be able to break free easily enough by breaking the cabinet, but not easily enough to get himself killed. She met his eyes again then leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his mouth. She sensed the woman ease her grip on the gun, expecting Emily to follow. It was the opening the agent had been hoping for.

Emily wrapped the chain of her cuffs around the woman’s wrist and stripped the gun from her hand. A kick from Emily’s bare foot sent the weapon skidding into the kitchen out of reach. The momentum of her move had brought the woman’s face down toward her, so Emily snapped her own head forward, following through with the weight of her body even after she heard the sickening crunch of the woman’s nose breaking. She regained her balance and stood, ready to fight again if necessary.

Anna lunged and let fly a series of jabs, meant to put Emily on the defensive. The brunette blocked each one easily, again using the chain between her wrists to trap her attackers hands. For a moment it looked as though Emily might have the upper hand before Anna managed to grab the chain and pull Emily’s body forward and down at the same time a solid knee came up in a vicious kick that sent the air from Emily’s lungs. Another yank on the cuffs sent her flying forward, barely able to get her arms under her before her face hit the cool tile floor. She could hear Derek shouting, and the weight of the cabinet thumping and dragging on the floor as he struggled to get free.

Without stopping to catch her breath, Emily used the momentum of her fall to scramble toward an old coat stand holding a windbreaker and a few other items that thumped quickly to the floor as she swung the heavy makeshift weapon around to swipe at Anna’s feet. With her foe on the ground, Emily launched herself onto the woman’s chest and sent a brutal upper cut into her jaw. Emily stopped, panting with her opponent pinned beneath her and felt Anna’s body relax in surrender.

“I want to help you” Emily told the woman through clenched teeth “but I’ll do it on my terms” she starred her opponent down for a long minute, while blood flowed and bruising blossomed over Anna’s face. Once satisfied the woman wasn’t readying herself for another attack, Emily stood. “Which means you don’t need these” Emily held out her cuffed wrists and with another moment hesitation Anna reached into her pocket and held up the key.

“You get this once we are in the car and on our way” The woman offered. Emily nodded then sent one last apologetic look at Derek who’s dark eyes were begging her not to go off alone.

“Emily!” He called “Please…”

—

Derek made short work of the cabinet doors, the cuff chafed uncomfortably on his sore and bleeding  wrist as he stood panting in his back alley with his phone to his ear.
“Hotch, she’s gone” he said. “Get here, now” remembering Emily’s worry about being listened to, he hung up. Knowing it would worry his team but hoping they would understand. He ran to a small storage shed under his back stairs and rummaged for something to block access to the alley and preserve any evidence their attacker or her vehicle may have left behind. He was stringing a bright yellow rope around the area when one of the team’s black SUVs turned into the alley and three worried agents piled out.“What do you mean she’s gone” Hotch asked angrily. He was followed closely by JJ, and Rossi all with worried expressions.
“Our Unsub showed up, she got the drop on us and said she had something to show Emily” Derek explained with panic in his voice “she went with her, they restrained me and they left”
“They?” Rossi asked.
“Emily was under duress, but barely” Derek accused “she got the upper hand eventually, but she agreed to go anyways”

“Ok” JJ soothed “it’s ok, Emily is brave and selfless, but she’s not completely reckless. If our Unsub is another Dip operative, Emily identifies with her and must be confident she won’t hurt her”

“Unless she thinks we could be in danger” Derek huffed in frustration and pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, turning it off and pulling the battery out. The other agents nodded their understanding and quickly tossed their own devices back into the SUV, shutting the doors to block any of their conversation from being picked up.
“Tell us what you’re thinking” Rossi urged. Derek sighed and ran a hand over his head and face.“I think she realized why her Father has been killed” he told them, taking another ragged breath before launching into his explanation. “She knew one of our victims, Borges. He was a friend of the Prentiss family, served on their security detail, but the cognitive revealed it was more than that. He took an active interest in Emily and in her father’s idea for adolescent operatives. Victor had already been grooming her for a while. Puzzles and strategy games, languages, testing her recall. She lapped it up as special time spent with her father but when Borges came on board things took off. Emily was their proof of concept and when things fell apart on her test run to Russia, Borges tried to clean house”
“Wait, you’re saying they went after Emily?” JJ demanded. “They put a hit out on a child?” Derek nodded sadly, remembering Emily’s rasping voice recount the attack.

“She fought Borges off, and Victor must have negotiated some kind of deal. They let her go, the family relocated, then never spoke of it again” He finished.

“But when Victor Prentiss brought her in on this case, whoever is still protecting this secret got spooked” Hotch concluded. Derek paced as his agitation grew again.

“Now Emily’s afraid someone is listening, she’s piecing together what happened in Russia, and the closer this team gets to the truth the more likely we’ll become collateral damage” Derek pointed out. “She’s doing it again, she’s isolated herself from us to draw fire”

“Come on Morgan” JJ challenged “She couldn’t have known that our Unsub would abduct her”

“No, I suppose not” the dark man sighed, stretching his fingers outward and forcing his hands to relax rather than ball into fists once more. The trio finally took notice of the cuff and the cuts on Derek’s wrist.

“Let’s get you out of that and let an EMT clean it up while we get CSU in here” Hotch ordered. Derek looked like he wanted to argue but didn’t.

They moved indoors and Derek walked through all he knew in more detail with Hotch while Rossi and JJ looked around, noting the attacker’s point of entry and conferring with the arriving crime scene techs about any leads. It all passed in a blur while Derek tried desperately not to think about how Emily had left. The apology in her eyes, the desperate kiss she’d pressed to his lips. He was bandaged and cleared to get back to work when Rossi slipped back into the kitchen where Derek sat alone.

“CSU determined the size of the vehicle and the direction they headed, Garcia’s working to find them on traffic cams” he updated the distraught looking agent. “We’ve also sent those numbers over to Reid. Hopefully boy genius will be able to crack the code” Silence lapsed again and the veteran agent moved closer to Derek, dipping his head conspiratorially. “I also diverted the others from finding out that only one bed was slept in last night”

“Excuse me?” Derek glared. Rossi held up his hands in a placating gesture.

“Just warning you” he said “you two have been weird lately and people are figuring it out, you may want to cool your temper over Emily’s disappearance if you hope to keep that secret any longer” Derek sighed.

“Can’t see how anyone’s figured it out when I’m still pretty squarely in the dark” he complained. Rossi chuckled.

“Neither of you are quick to trust, and while I believe you trust each other more than any others, I also know that habits die hard” Rossi comforted. “Emily is extremely capable and highly independent. If you were expecting her to fall demurely into your waiting arms and let you play bodyguard you’re delusional” Derek glared again but said nothing.

“Borges was the first victim” the younger agent changed the subject. Rossi nodded. “And he was involved with Dip from the beginning” Derek went on. “We should take another look at him” he said, moving toward the stack of personnel files. Rossi stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Those are classified documents, labeled for Emily’s eyes only” he warned “you start snooping through there you could lose your job at best” Derek pulled his arm away and kept moving with a quick nod, then flipped open the appropriate file.

—

Emily had been following Anna through the damp leaves of a thick wood for nearly 45 minutes. They’d driven out of town moving west, then circled back on private grid roads before turning north for much of the afternoon until Anna pulled the car over at a quiet rest stop and handed Emily a backpack. The blonde hadn’t been much for conversation, but Emily assumed the provisions in the bag meant they likely had a long way to go yet. She passed the time adding to the profile of her companion. Mission oriented, injustice collector, organized and efficient, distrustful… still Emily couldn’t shake the thought that something was missing.

Rossi had been right, the US government was never going to cop to Operation Dip no matter how many men attached to it turned up hanged in their hotel rooms. More likely anyone who got close would end up like her father. A shiver shot down her spine at the thought and she struggled to keep her footing. If she had known she’d be hiking through the woods today she’d have worn better socks. The sneakers Anna had shoved at her to wear were brand new and stiff, chafing uncomfortably through the thin cotton on her feet. Emily drew her attention back to the theories and questions forming in her mind. Did other fathers knowingly rob their daughters of their childhoods by sending them into enemy territory to collect secrets? She peered harder at Anna’s back.

Having turned the situation over again in her mind she took a mental break to conjure Derek’s smiling face bathed in the late morning sun as he pushed coffee into her waiting hands and kissed her good morning. She didn’t try to convince herself that she’d return to his arms after this. He’d be angry she knew, and under that anger would be hurt. Hurt that she’d run again, left him helpless as she dived headfirst into danger alone. Still, the memory of his arms around her brought her comfort. Despite the hurt she’d inflicted, Emily knew that he cared for her and in turn she hoped he knew that she would do everything she could to care for herself and come out of this on the other side.

Anna slowed as they crested a hill and lowered herself into a crouch, motioning Emily down as well. The women remained still, senses on alert. Masculine voices drifted up from the valley below, then a flash of bright orange appeared through the brush. A pair of hunters chatting while they field smoked a kill over a low fire. Anna sighed in frustration and relief, then motioned Emily along the ridge away from the men.

“This means we may not make it before sundown” Anna huffed. The first words she’d spoken since they’d left Derek’s home.

“Make it where?” Emily tried again to ask, then rolled her eyes when she was met with more silence. An hour later dusk fell like a blanket over the wood and when the darkness moved in Anna stopped again and gestured to Emily for the bag. The blonde pulled forth a few threadbare emergency blankets and some water.

“We’ll head out again just after first light” She said

“And again I ask, where exactly is ‘there’?” Emily sighed, wrapping a blanket around herself and pulling a long sip of cool water.

“How much do you already know?” Anna responded this time. Not a straight answer but at least an answer. Emily went about pushing some dry leaves into a sort of nest to cushion her from the cold ground. When she had settled herself at the base of a large tree she spoke.

“The men you killed were attached to Operation Dip, and you, I assume were one of the Dip operatives” she started. “You wanted to expose those men, and I get that, it was too much to expect, too much to bare. So you strung the murders together with a distinct signature knowing me and my team would find out eventually. But that backfired, because rather than allow that kind of exposure, car bombs are taking out federal agents”

“I thought you were supposed to be some kind of genius?” Anna sneered.  Emily shrugged.

“That’s as much as my team will have put together, but you helped me along didn’t you?” Emily said, watching Anna’s expression in the dark. “I’ll admit it took me quite a bit of the hike in here to put it together. The files you left me”

“I had wondered” Anna chuckled.

“The girl, Ainsley, she’s too young to be you but the resemblance is hard to miss” Emily said softly. “I always wanted a sister. My father’s personnel file was interesting too. I didn’t realize until today just how much he’d sacrificed”

“I’m sorry he had to die” Anna offered. Emily nodded sadly but accepted the woman’s sincere condolence.

“I’m sorry yours wouldn’t die for your sister” Emily offered in return.

“It’s worse than that” Anna’s voice hardened “you’ll see”. With that she settled into her own nest of leaves and went silent once again. Emily turned her face up to the sky, taking in the emerging star-scape between the shadowed tree tops. It was going to be a cold uncomfortable night but at least it would be clear. It had been so long since she’d been star gazing.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

His pillows smelled of her. Derek had tossed and turned half the night torn between drawing comfort and drowning in guilt. The team had been all over Virginia chasing ghosts on traffic cams and there was still no sign of his… his what? Did he even have the right to miss the warmth of her body pressed against his while she slept? The team had finally agreed to break well after midnight but Derek wasn’t sure how much good it had done him. He was still nowhere, he was still exhausted, he was still paralyzed by the fear that he would lose her again.

“You’re here!” Garcia’s bubbling voice met him the moment the elevator doors opened to the BAU early the next morning. She’d obviously been laying in wait. “I have news!” She celebrated while wobbling ahead on her high wedges expecting he would follow. They ducked into her layer a moment later and the tech analyst quickly brought her screens to life then turned to beam at her friend. Derek stared at the photo grid of faces staring back at him then raised his eyebrows at his friend.

“Are these?”

“The birds from our list!” She confirmed “I had a hunch last night while I was…” she blushed “well… taking my mind off things and rushed right back in here. The numbers were employee IDs”

“Employee IDs? For children?” Derek asked

“No, for their parents” Garcia said excitedly “it’s all about the parents, training these baby spies wouldn’t do any good if you couldn’t reasonably place them in strategic environments, that’s why they started with our favourite lady spook. These numbers connect to US citizens in a number of high level international field positions and appointments, all of whom had pre-teen and teen children during the years the operation was active”

“How on earth did you get that information?” Derek asked in awe. Garcia blushed again but said nothing. One face and name in particular caught his eye. “Ainsley Carter” he muttered.

“She’s our goldfinch” Garcia said. She dutifully focused in on the girl’s image then opened a new search using the information available. An alert pinged almost immediately. “Jinkies”

“Missing?” Derek asked, confused.

“According to this, sweet angel Ainsley was reported missing in 1987 by her mother, looks like law enforcement suspected the estranged father but nothing ever came of the investigation”
“That’s because her father is Richard Borges” Derek said as he put the pieces together. “She was listed in his file. There was a sister too, Anna. Pull everything you can about her and I’ll gather the team”
“Wait!” Garcia stopped him with a smile “first, I know you’re upset with Emily right now but I wanted to show you something” Derek looked like he was about to dismiss her but moved closer after a moments pause. His friend brought up another screen showing a frozen frame of a security video.

“That’s Emily and her Father just before…”

“Yeah” the analyst confirmed sadly “I realized that if they were speaking in code in the SCIFF there could be more clues in his goodbye to Emily. The audio isn’t much through most but I found this”

Your mother and I missed you at Christmas

I was with Derek Morgan, he’s a good man but not ready to meet the family

“I was in Chicago for Christmas” Derek frowned in confusion.

“Yeah and Ma and Pa Prentiss were in France. Emily and I ordered Chinese and had a movie marathon for Christmas” Garcia told him. “It’s another code. I can’t be totally sure but I think she was telling her dad who to go to if anything happened to her”

“You don’t know that” Derek grumbled and paced away from her again.

“I know that in a moment of fear and uncertainty she could have told her Father about anyone and she chose you” Garcia said. “She does trust you”

“I’ll see you in the briefing” was Derek’s only reply.

He stormed down the hallways then waited impatiently in the SCIFF for everyone else to arrive. His mind and heart raced, but he worked hard to focus on all he’d learned and compared it to what they already knew until something jumped out. The team had barely settled around the boardroom table when he blurted one word. Fathers. Garcia began to fill them in properly, bringing up what she’d found about the list and Anna and Ainsley Carter.

“When I looked further into the rest of our birds, a number of them have disappeared as well. Not all have missing person reports, for the most part they just…” Garcia made a little poof motion with her hands. “Im 99% certain that our Anna Finch is actually Anna Carter, a few years older than Ainsley, it looks like her mother suffered a psychotic break shortly after her youngest daughter went missing. One she’s never fully recovered from. Anna spent her life taking care of her until six months ago when the woman died of cancer”

“That’s when the killing started” Reid pointed out helpfully.

“So Anna finds out her sister was part of this program, blames her father for her disappearance and after her mother’s death the resentment turns to determination to expose what he did” JJ outlined. “How could she possibly know enough about operation dip to target all of these men?”

“Maybe she got it out of her father before she killed him” Rossi posited.

“Why would a man like Borges just give that information away to his estranged daughter?” JJ argued.

“She was part of the operation too” Garcia interrupted, bringing up a timeline with the SCIFF computer. “These kids have sequential birth years, meaning they likely took only one new recruit per year at or around the age of 10, but there’s a gap” the analyst pointed out. “Four years before Ainsley Carter. What if Anna’s been erased from this list?”

“For what purpose?” Derek asked, his mind racing with the team’s fresh analysis and his own theories.

“They were being blackmailed” Reid piped up. “That’s how Anna got these men to meet her, she has something or told them she had something that would reveal operation dip”

“That explains the money transfers” Hotch agreed. “And Harold Yi went a step further to erase Anna from his own records. Garcia you need to find us more about Anna Carter, we need to get ahead of her and find out where she’s taking Prentiss”

“I’ll need my own system” Garcia told him then hurried out when Hotch nodded to dismiss her.

“Morgan was right” JJ said “she’s enraged about what her father did to her and her sister, and she took that rage to all the other men attached to Operation Dip who have children”

“She blames them for not protecting the children recruited into the program” Derek nodded.

“Or gave their own children to the cause” Reid added. “From the information Garcia’s compiled here Ainsley wasn’t the only child attached to Dip that went missing and of those there’s two others who’s fathers she killed”

“I think we need to circle back and ask ourselves what Anna had that could spook eight highly trained and experienced intelligence operatives into paying hush money and then meeting their blackmailer” Rossi stated.

“Whatever it is, I think that’s what she wanted Emily to see” Derek agreed. “If we find it we find Emily”

——

“Holy shit” Emily cursed out loud as she realized what she was looking at.

She and her companion had been up with the first grey rays of light pushing through the dark wood. Their breath had puffed and hung in the still air around them as they cleared as much evidence of their pathetic camp site as they could. Emily would have killed for a cup of coffee. Though the less she had to relieve herself in the woods the better. Anna had reverted to her previous silent state, ignoring Emily’s attempts at conversation and communicating in sharp head tilts and grunts.

They’d set out quickly and silently in much the same way they had for hours the previous day, only Anna seemed much more alert. Pausing to identify every scuttle and whisper in the underbrush. Emily mirrored this, trusting that anything putting this determined and seemingly fearless woman on edge couldn’t be good for Emily to run into herself. Within twenty minutes her body had warmed from their movement while the sun’s light strengthened along the skin of her cheeks. Still she doubted the chill that settled into her bones overnight would leave anytime soon.

They’d walked just over an hour when Anna had motioned Emily down behind the gaping mossy root ball of a fallen tree. At the blonde’s urging, Emily had carefully peered over their makeshift blind to see at last where Anna had led her. She found herself ducking quickly and pressing herself with beating heart against the tree.

“They’re … that’s…” Emily’s voice faltered in disbelief, her eyes flashing wildly at Anna for confirmation.

“They’re still doing it” she nodded

Their hiding spot was well back from a large clearing across which sat a small but unmistakably state of the art compound. One main building surrounded by several smaller outbuildings and storage sheds. In the field, youngsters no older than 10-12 years of age were expertly cleaning and assembling weapons on an outdoor shooting range, while others were running laps of the clearing. Emily held her breath as a small group of them ran by, releasing it slowly as they passed without noticing their audience.

“I count 10 children” Emily said.
“There’s 6 more inside somewhere, staff of 4 instructors” Anna nodded
“That’s it?” Emily questioned.

“They group them into pods of 4 each with rotating responsibilities around the compound on top of their training. It’s pretty self sufficient” Anna informed her. She’d obviously been watching for a long while. Emily observed the sad profile of her face, noting the hard determination she used to mask her more vulnerable feelings. Suddenly it wasn’t hard to understand what she’d done. Though Emily still wasn’t sure why she had to be shown rather than told.

“Couldn’t you have just told me all this?” Emily asked. The two hushed again as another group of runners made a pass by their hiding place. When they were out of earshot Anna turned her wide blue eyes on Emily intensely.

“You need to help me bring it down” she said. As though it were obvious. Emily sighed and flashed a look of disbelief.

“Are you kidding?” She demanded “How? There’s a small staff but those kids don’t look like shrinking violets to me, we’re in the middle of nowhere, no back up, one gun between us”

“We find out who’s the one at the top keeping it running” Anna insisted calmly. “I’ve been trying, but every time I get close…” her face softened in empathy “your father knew and now he’s dead”

“So you want us to be dead too? Cause that’s what happens when we find out” Emily challenged, and they’ll never stop chasing us until it’s done, she added mentally trying to tamp down her panic. Her months alone in Europe flash in her mind, along with the deep hopeless feeling of living as a ghost.

“Not unless I kill him first” Anna shrugged. Emily closed her eyes, she could hear the footfalls of the runners again so the two women let the silence settle over them while Emily’s mind —and gut— churned. “I believe the only complete documentation for Operation Dip exists in that compound” Anna pleaded. “And I think together we can make it in and retrieve it”

“You’re crazy” Emily whispered in frustration “I’m sorry about what happened to you and your sister but this isn’t going to bring her back, it isn’t going to erase what you went through”
“And what about those kids over there!?” Anna hissed back. “they should be roasting marshmallows at summer camp not out here learning to clean sniper rifles, certainly not on missions in enemy territory, and absolutely not killed by their own side to cover it up when things go wrong”
Emily shut her eyes tight and listened to the low rumble of the runners moving by them again. Anna was right, and yet this plan of hers was madness. She’d promised Derek this wouldn’t be a suicide mission, maybe not to his face but she’d still promised. This was wrong, but it was a decision made by the upper echelons of her country’s defence and intelligence network. Who was she to challenge or undermine them. Her heart pounded.

Good little bird, I think you’re ready

Ready for what, Daddy?

Our next mission.

“Tell me what you know about the compound” Emily croaked, then cleared her throat. “Where is the information stored?”

Anna smiled brightly and Emily thought for a moment she could see what she might have looked like as the carefree young woman she was never allowed to be.

—

“I don’t see any other recent tire treads” Derek called to JJ where she was digging through the contents of the vehicle behind him.

He’d been unconvinced the BOLO would do them any good at all when they’d put it out. Anna Clark had gone to great lengths to cover her tracks thus far. Yet here was the vehicle that near 12 hours ago sped away from his home with Emily  inside. The longer they were gone the more worried Derek became, despite Emily’s assurances that she believed she wouldn’t be hurt. If that was the case why not call him. Or anyone. He begrudgingly acknowledged that he may not necessarily be her first call.

“I’ve got a near empty tank here” JJ responded “If they didn’t have another vehicle waiting, maybe they left on foot”
“Which would mean wherever they are heading is close by, but in which direction?” Derek asked, hopelessness and frustration bubbling up in his tone.
The two agents continue their investigation of the car and surrounding areas. They find Emily’s cuffs in the car, meaning Anna had fulfilled her promise to free Emily’s arms once they’d left Derek’s home. This at once confirmed the brunette agent’s insistence that Anna wouldn’t hurt her and fed Derek’s growing resentment at being left behind once again. The rest of the car is clean save for some empty water bottles and a crumpled sweater wedged half under the passenger seat in the back.

Derek recognized the garment immediately as the one Emily had been wearing when she’d left his house. JJ gave him a worried look as they both consider what this could mean. If the women had proceeded on foot, surely the experienced agent would have taken the sweater given the low temperatures that were still common in the evenings this time of year.

“It has to be a clue” JJ gasped “she left it for us to find but why?” Derek was about to throw the garment down and storm off when he caught her line of thinking. “To make sure we could tie her to this car?”
“She would have known Garcia could manage that much” he mused “and we have other items dogs could use” on a hunch he checked the pockets and found a crumpled napkin with a fast food logo. It was unlike Emily to hold onto something like that and his forehead creased as he unfolded it to find a short pencilled message in Emily’s steady scrawl next to a smear of mustard.
“LB 71860913” JJ read aloud. “What the hell does that mean?” This time Derek did throw the sweater down and pace away in frustration.

—

“It’s her!” Garcia crowed over the line as the team regrouped at a truck stop near the abandoned car. “It’s Emily”

“We know that, Garcia” Hotch confirmed “she left the sweater for us, what does it mean?”

“It’s her!” Garcia said again “we connected the birds and the numbers to code names for children of federal employees, and in my sleuthing through cyber space I found an encrypted program on a server in Harold Yi’s name”

“Garcia…” Derek prompted patiently.

“Right, skipping to the end: it’s a tracking system” the tech analyst blurts out, her fingers clacking at lightening speed can be heard over the phone line “two initials and a numeric sequence finds you a bird and Emily left us hers, I have her coordinates”

“Send them to our…” Derek was interrupted by Hotch’s stern hand held up to stop their forward momentum.

“What can you tell us about where she is” the Unit Chief asked.

“It’s a heavily wooded area about 30 miles from where the car was dumped” Garcia supplied after a few tense moments “there appears to be some kind of compound, there’s a service road about 15 miles up the road from you that would take you right to the front but Emily is pinging from the woods about a mile back in the other direction”

“A compound?” Rossi asked “any evidence what it’s for?”

“No sir, pretty nondescript” Garcia said.

“A training facility?” Reid asked, but as the geniuses brain worked his face brightened and he quickly started answering his own questions. “Dip is still running and Anna threatened to expose the program to blackmail men attached to it, she knows no agency will publicly acknowledge it but what if she needed Emily’s help to take it down on site?”

“Take it down?” JJ asked

“We’ve been focused on who was there when Dip started” Rossi caught on “what we don’t know is who’s pulling the strings now”

“Anna could blackmail and punish men associated with the program but they had no real power to shut it down” Hotch agreed, the picture becoming clear.

“But if Anna can find out who does have that power” JJ said “she can stop other children from going through what she did”

“Emily wouldn’t go along with that would she?” Reid asked “she would feel protective toward those kids but she would know that two women, however skilled, against a CIA training facility isn’t great odds”

“Unless she’s thinking emotionally” Derek pointed out. He’d been brooding on the periphery of the team’s impromptu round table until now “JJ said it earlier that Emily is brave and selfless but not reckless… unless she’s grieving. After Matthew Benton died she nearly got herself and the rest of us fired looking for justice, and it was after she stood over the body of Tsia Mosley that she took off after Doyle alone…”

“Whoever is running the training facility is responsible for the bombing” Reid followed easily “we profiled the bomber to be highly experienced with security clearance to enter and exit Quantico unnoticed”

“If Emily’s figured that out…” Hotch started

“Which she likely did long before any of us did…” Rossi interrupted

“Then Anna’s got an ally just reckless enough to go along with a two-agents against the world plan” Derek spat.

“The question is how do we help Emily?” Hotch pushed past Derek’s obvious hurt “7 agents isn’t much better than 2 and it would end all of our careers to get caught up in what they’re attempting”

“So we just give up?” Derek challenged.

“No” Hotch said sternly “we do what we can through official channels with what we have, and we leave a team on that service road in case we need help to get her the hell out of there”

“Official channels will put a target on our backs” JJ pointed out “Emily’s father specifically kept us from current assets and operations, he was protecting us, or at least her. If whoever’s pulling the strings finds out we know its still active we’ll all find ourselves on the other side of the beltway, taking public transit and praying for the best”

“I have a contact I can trust” Hotch insisted “Morgan and JJ stay out here, stay out of sight, and keep an open line to Garcia. The rest of us need to deliver the profile we were brought in for”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Another 15 hours went by while Derek and JJ sat restlessly in the woods. They had posed as hikers.  In a nearby town they’d gotten a motel for the night then rented a non-governmental car, bought supplies, and at first light they’d scoped out the service road and surrounding terrain on foot. Eventually they’d found a place to set up a small hidden camp within sight of the dusty trail that led to the compound. The road was barely wide enough to accommodate a vehicle and unmaintained. Real hikers stumbling across it would no doubt assume it abandoned.

JJ had attempted to start a number of light conversations but Derek didn’t hold up his side and they quickly fell into silence.

“It’s getting cold” JJ whispered, her voice thick from going unused for the last 5 hours or so. Derek had a moment of guilt for his own icy contribution to the situation.

“You wanna share body heat” he managed to joke lamely. JJ stared at him for a full minute before smiling.

“That ever work when you’re partnered with Emily?” The blonde asked knowingly. Derek shrugged but whatever response he could have come up with was interrupted by the distant sound of gunfire and a strangled yell. Both Agents rose quickly, shouldering ready packs and splitting up to take multiple vantage points of the road. Derek signalled Garcia and the analyst greeted him seriously.
“I’ve been monitoring what chatter I can without letting anyone know I am poking around” The analyst offered “There seems to be an alarm going out. A security breach on a high level asset”
“We heard gunshots” Derek reported, knowing Garcia will have patched in the rest of the team “I think its safe to say we know what asset”

“Incoming” JJ whispered over the mic “someone is headed this way on foot” Derek peered through the brush and his heart skipped a beat.

“It’s Emily” He confirmed, moving as quickly as he could through the brush along the road to meet her “Running like she’s being followed, stay low” he hissed into the mic. JJ stayed where she was, eyes peeled for any sign of her friend’s pursuers. They hear it before they see it, the high-pitched whirr of an engine.

“ATVs, at least two in pursuit” JJ said “no visual yet, get her off the road”

Derek moved on instinct to comply. As soon as Emily sprinted into his range he leapt, tackling her easily. Emily grunted as they hit the ground and sent an elbow up into her attacker’s jaw. In the blink of an eye Derek is face down in the leaf litter with an arm twisted painfully behind him and a handgun pressed to his head.

“Emily!” It was JJ who snapped Emily out of her fight or flight response, but there was no time for pleasantries. The roar of the ATVs was closing in and Emily grabbed the back of Derek’s shirt, pulling him along as she moved deeper into the trees.

They stumbled along, JJ silently directing the group down a steady slope toward the hidden rental car. They heard the ATVs speed past their entry point into the woods but rally minutes later. Whoever was giving chase seemed to have realized what happened. The engines cut out and voices echoed down the ridge toward the running agents. JJ slowed, hoping to mask the sound of her feet on the forest floor now that the whine of engines was gone but Emily looked back with wild eyes.
 
“Don’t stop” Emily huffed desperately, lungs screaming for air. In the distance up ahead she saw the shine of the car and picked up speed. “Get in the car and go”. That part slowed Derek for a moment.

“We’ll all go” He huffed back, trailing her as if he meant to tackle her again.

“No, they don’t know you’re here” Emily hissed as they made it to the small crossover and yanked open the doors. Emily tossed something into the hatch back, then pulled desperately at the jacket she was wearing, eyeing JJ’s lightweight down vest. The blonde understood immediately, handing the jacket over, along with a warm beanie to cover her friend’s distinct raven hair. “Get to Quantico, I’ll be in touch”

“Emily!” Derek pleaded “you can’t go alone”

“No offence, Derek, but you’ll slow me down” Emily soothed, already running east along the ditch, still within the cover of the woods. He moved to follow but JJ caught his arm, pulling him as best she could back toward the car despite their size difference as the voices of their pursuers echoed through the trees.

“Whatever she’s done this for is in the back of this car” The blonde hissed. The voices of their pursuers could be heard getting closer. “Get in now before you blow it for her”
***
“She’s not injured as far as we can tell but that’s all we know” Derek reported angrily from where he was gulping water at the round table, still waiting for his heart rate to come down. JJ paced, while Garcia worked. The object Emily had thrown into the hatch was a tiny thumb drive, they almost hadn’t found it where it had settled near the wheel-well during the hasty drive back to Quantico.

“We also know that she is now alone” JJ added. Hotch, Rossi, and Reid watched the two amped up agents quietly. With their adrenaline still pumping the profilers knew that details would jump forth unprompted, but that their veracity shouldn’t be taken at face value without confirmation. “The jacket she gave me when we switched had blood on it, but no damage, I don’t think it’s hers”
“Spatter pattern” Reid confirmed, having inspected the evidence on their arrival.
“Anna’s?” Derek asked.

“There’s no way to know” Hotch reminded them “We can’t run it, we’ve been told in no uncertain terms that we are to drop this case now that we’ve delivered our profile. My contact says he’ll do what he can from the inside but anything we do from here on out is against orders and without the support of FBI resources like blood sampling” An alert on Garcia’s laptop caught the group’s attention.

“Oh my god” the analyst exclaimed. “Sir, um, you guys” with the stroke of a few keys, Garcia sent the images she was looking at to the flat screen in front of them. On it, a DC Police BOLO for one Agent Emily Prentiss. “This was just released to the media and they’re dropping a net around DC and surrounding states” Garcia reported “It says she’s wanted for the murder of her father and the shooting of an unnamed federal agent”

“We know that’s bullshit” Derek cried “she’s being silenced!”

“Do we?” Rossi asked. Grimacing at his own words. “We know she didn’t plant that bomb, but the spatter on her jacket looks consistent with a right handed shooter at close range”

“Armed and extremely dangerous” JJ Read from the BOLO “Whoever is behind this wants the local cops to shoot first and ask questions later”

“Can we track her like we did before?” Reid asked desperately.

“Unless she’s at a sewer junction in New Jersey I don’t think so” Garcia said apologetically.

“She must realize that we’re not the only ones who can track her that way” said Rossi “She flushed whatever tracker she had, but New Jersey means she’s still heading north”

“Unless she’s found a way to make it look that way” Derek huffed in anger. He stood with enough force to topple the chair he was sitting in and paced toward the door “We all know that once she’s in the wind she’s in the wind”“But she said she’d be in touch” JJ tried to comfort him. “She’s not leaving us, she must have a plan”

“What about the drive, Garcia” Hotch refocused his riled team. “What’s on it”

“I don’t know yet” The analyst said, worry in her voice “It’s a file that’s heavily encrypted. It’s going to take me a while to crack… Local news just picked up the BOLO”

JJ expertly flipped the flatscreen to a local news channel to see their friend’s face in the corner of the screen while helicopter footage seemed to be streaming a pursuit in progress. Garcia let out a wail of fear at the blurry but unmistakable sight of Emily running full tilt through the gridlock traffic of rush hour in Jersey. Heavily armed officers in full tactical gear followed tirelessly.

“Those officers aren’t wearing identifiers” Reid pointed out “No SWAT or POLICE, who are they?” No one answered as the screen showed Emily climb up onto the edge of the interchange and jump into the oncoming traffic below. She bounced painfully off the roof of a moving truck and rolled dangerously before catching onto the side. The officers in pursuit fired, but her body was shielded by the vehicle she now clung to.

“Not reckless” Derek grumbled in JJ’s direction, watching in horror as Emily dropped again. But this time the angle of the helicopter camera and the gathering shadows of evening hid where she’d landed.
***
Emily was no stranger to pushing through pain. After a moment to catch her breath in the dark shadows of an underpass, she exchanged her coat and hat with a kid she’d found sleeping there, throwing in a few bucks cash from a wallet she’d stolen for his trouble. The dirty canvas jacket was heavy and smelled like a sewer, her ribs screamed in protest, the ill-fitting shoes she’d been given by Anna tore at her feet, but she had to keep running. She was sure the agents following her hadn’t seen where she landed and so she kept to covered areas, spotted with encampments and tent cities, and waited for dark before heading back toward her goal.

After running over an hour from where she’d left Derek and JJ, Emily had stopped to clean the blood from her face in a truck stop bathroom. It was there that she’d heard the BOLO on the radio. It wasn’t surprising. Still the reality of it shook her more than she’d like to admit. Years of service, of putting her body on the line time after time, years full of secrets that haunted her even now. It all meant nothing to her pursers. Emily had slipped out a back service entrance, intent on continuing on foot rather than risk being recognized but that hadn’t lasted long. A Good Samaritan had pulled over to offer her a ride as a light drizzle had begun to fall and despite the hat and slumped posture, the woman recognized Emily almost instantly. The goon squad in black tactical had caught up with her in what felt like minutes after that.

Now, hours later limping through the dark corners of New Jersey, Emily spotted a mall across another interchange and formed a plan. She couldn’t walk all the way to where she was headed, so she’d have to find a way to go unnoticed even as her face flooded news media up and down the east coast. She cursed herself for not keeping her secondary cache closer to DC, pulled her dirty ball cap down to obscure her face, and slipped into the bright drug store on the far end of the mall.

Two hours later she emerged into the night air blonde with blue contacts, dressed in casual jeans and a lightweight fleece, warm hat, a bottle of water, and nearly out of the cash. She’d have to risk the stolen credit cards soon. Confident in her changed look, she approached a main drag of the small suburb she’d stumbled into and hurried up to a traffic officer. Her flirtatious smile and slight southern accent along with the contacts and hair dye seemed to mask her real identity well enough. The naive officer helpfully gave her directions to the nearest bus line headed west and wished her a goodnight.

It was nearly 3 am when she finally made it to the city due east. The long period of sitting on the bus left her bruised ribs stiff and her breathing laboured but still Emily couldn’t slow down. She hopped the turnstiles into the subway and took three different trains, then walked a zig zagging 20 blocks to where she hoped she could find safe harbour.

The first dull hints of sunlight were swelling behind the city skyline when she finally knocked a familiar rhythm against a heavy door in Manhattan. Emily nearly burst into tears when it opened and her mother smiled sadly before pulling her into the darkened apartment.

“I saw the news” Elizabeth whispered, stiffly hugging her daughter to her “They say you killed your father”

“I know” Emily gasped in equal parts relief and pain “I didn’t”. Elizabeth Prentiss flashed a withering glare at the child in front of her, offended Emily would feel the need to clarify that to her. Emily just shrugged lazily, exhaustion quickly catching up with her. “I need you to help me bind my ribs” She moved on, “and I need to change, then I am going to end this”

“Emily” her mother sighed “Rest first”

“I can’t” Emily dismissed easily “you and I are in danger, my team is in danger, and the man who killed Daddy won’t ever be brought to justice unless I find him before he finds me”

Elizabeth Prentiss nodded indulgently but didn’t stop pulling her stubborn daughter along the hall toward the main bedroom.

“just lay down for a minute and tell me what happened” the older woman bargained, and just as it had worked when Emily was a small precious child, the grown agent slurred the words of her third sentence and was asleep in minutes.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I think I know where she’s going” Derek whispered. It had been two days since he woke up with Emily safe in his arms, and it was looking more and more likely that a third day would pass without finding her. His eyes were itchy with the strain of keeping them open and his face marked the days passed in beard growth. He smelled awful, which Garcia told him plainly before acknowledging what he had said after storming into her lair.

“What makes you think you know?” Garcia sighed. It was after midnight and they were each giving up hope as the analyst tried again and again to access the tiny drive that had been so important that Emily risked her life to retrieve it from the woods of Maryland.
“She told her Dad that I would know” He whispered again, as though he hardly believed it was real, half convinced it was a trick of his exhausted mind. “That means she must have told me somehow. So I’ve been thinking, remembering, everything she’s ever told me”
“Oh Derek” Garcia soothed. She could see how much this situation was hurting him. The tech doubted she was the only one who knew about the ever deepening relationship between Derek and Emily, but she was sure she’d been the only one either of them had told about it, no matter how vaguely. She set another algorithm to do its work and moved to comfort her friend.

“I am not torturing myself” Derek insisted gruffly, moving away from her offered hand. “Not long ago she asked me to hold onto a key” His dark hands produced the shining item for Garcia to see. A single bronze key on a purple tag labeled ‘mom’s place, 1225’ in Emily’s sure hand. “It was when she was moving, she said she couldn’t ever afford for this key to go missing”

“I’ll call the team” Garcia said helpfully, but Derek reached out to halt her movement toward the phone.

“No” he said sternly “if we mobilize the whole team it will set off alarm bells” he didn’t say that he was hesitant to pull them into something he was sure would cost him his job in the end. He also left out that he was worried it was all in his head and the key would lead him nowhere. “I need an untraceable car with no low-jack and a burner phone”

“Slow down 007” Garcia protested “we really should run this by the team, it never ends well when one of you runs off alone”

“I know, baby girl” Derek soothed “you can tell them after you’ve given me a head start”

“A head start to wear!?” The tech demanded “you haven’t even told me what the key is for” he smiled sadly but didn’t answer. With a pout she turned back to her computer, checking the progress of her algorithm then getting started on securing what Derek needed.

Four hours later Derek was ditching the car at a subway station. Wearing a heavy coat and hat pulled down to obscure his identity, he made the last leg of his journey on foot. The building was nice but not flashy, just as she’d once described it, but doubt began to creep in when the names listed next to an ancient buzzer system didn’t reveal any clue as to what his next move might be. He took a deep breath and leaned into the shadow of the building to think. He’d hoped the 1225 had been a unit number as well as a subtle nod to her father’s code.
 
Your mother and I missed you at Christmas

I was with Derek Morgan.
 
They’d been to New York plenty of times as a team, but on one occasion they’d ended up with a free night in the city before flying home. Most of the team had gone to spend it in their own way, but Emily had grinned over at him and asked if he’d ever had the locals tour of New York. At his confusion she’d revealed that she’d once lived in the city and took his hand to drag him along.

They hadn’t visited the apartment directly, but she had pointed the building out from their perch on a nearby rooftop restaurant while regaling him with stories of her misspent gap year largely unsupervised on her mother’s empty condo after graduating early from high-school. She’d described the apartment in detail with a wistful look on her face, and had brought it up a few times since then telling him it’s where she had always felt safest. It was notable in its candidness. Emily had never shared so much about her youth and in return he had revealed the controlled chaos of his first year playing college ball. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the key she’d left him. Hope bubbled in his chest when it fit smoothly into the lock of the security door and turned.

Once inside the building, Derek slowly headed up the staircase in front of him with his gun gripped tight but held low beside him. The first landing revealed nothing but a large door marked ‘laundry’, but he found it

locked and the key that had opened the front door didn’t fit. Off the next landing was a row of numbered doors with the muffled sounds of life behind them. He stood at the end of it, wondering how he might puzzle out which door led to Emily when he felt goosebumps erupt across his back with the unmistakable awareness that someone was right behind him. He froze.

“You remembered” Emily’s rough voice filtered through his shock. Derek spun around, holstered his weapon, and pulled her close without any hesitation.

“You’re ok” his relieved voice broke. Her hair was blonde and cut roughly into a short bob, her eyes dark blue under coloured contacts, but it was her and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to let her go again.

“I’m ok” she answered, her own arms wrapping around him in return. “Let’s get inside before anyone sees”

He noticed her wincing as they climbed several more flights of stairs and instantly thought back to the tumbling leap she’d taken onto a moving truck, then who knows where after the cameras had lost her. Without saying anything he loosened his grip on her, trying not to irritate any of her not-so-hidden injuries. On the top floor she knocked an upbeat rhythm on a large door before pushing it open and pulling him into a warm and well decorated entryway. She pulled her coat off with a grimace and motioned to a small coat closet where he could hang both of their outer layers.

Underneath she wore a black turtleneck over dark washed jeans. Simple. Not out of place in a variety of situations. Designed to go unnoticed. Derek helped her ease down onto a low bench beside the door and went to work unlacing her wet boots, remembering the rain that had come down the previous night leaving sparkling puddles in the streets lit up with city lights. When he finally looked up she was smirking at him, expression soft but unreadable.

“So you don’t hate me?” She asked. Eyes that were hers but not hers bore into him nervously.

“I could never hate you” he said emphatically “a little hurt and angry, but you’re alive for me to forgive and that’s what matters” she nodded.

“Has Garcia cracked that drive yet?” Emily changed the subject but made no move away from him nor to stop her body from drifting toward his as her boots fell and he ran comforting hands up her chilled legs.

“I haven’t checked in to find out” he told her “I wasn’t sure what kind of communication would be safe so I was waiting until I found you” the soft look returned to Emily’s face, this time accompanied by sadness.

“I’m sorry to drag you into all this” she sighed “I saw the news coverage, my career is likely over for good and yours could be too just for being here”

“I don’t care about that right now” Derek insisted, lifting his hand to trace a tentative caress over her cheek with the back of his fingers. “What do you need?”

“Emily?” A new voice in the apartment had Derek on edge and reaching for his weapon even as Emily reached out to soothe him. “I heard your knock but…” Elizabeth Prentiss stopped in her tracks to see a visitor in the safe house only her daughter was meant to know about. Not even Victor had known the exact location, an extra layer of protection should the worst happen.

“Mother” Emily smiled tightly, finally leaning away from Derek and standing stiffly to move further into the apartment. “You remember Derek Morgan” The ambassador smiled in a hesitant welcome and shook his hand.

“Did you get the supplies you needed?” The older woman asked her daughter. Emily nodded and produced a bag that had been clutched tightly in her left hand. “Lets get to it, then” the woman sighed, “can I get you anything before we start?” She directed at Derek, his brows furrowed in confusion and he shook his head.

He followed the women into a dining room, large by New York City standards, where several maps, files, and other items littered one end of the long table. With little fanfare, Emily peeled off her turtle-neck to reveal a soft sports bra over angry blue flesh and a wound on one side that still oozed blood when she moved . Derek gasped and moved forward again only to be shooed away by Elizabeth Prentiss who had opened the bag to reveal a suture kit and a rolled tensor bandage.

“Next time remember to restock before you find yourself in trouble again” the older woman lectured before pressing an alcohol-soaked rag to her daughter’s wound. Emily hissed.

“I’d forgotten” she insisted “I never made it back after… fuck, do you have to be so rough?” Elizabeth stayed quiet as her daughter complained, her sutures a little jagged but effective as Emily’s pale skin started to come back together.

“What happened?” Derek asked, taking a seat across from the Ambassador and reaching out for Emily’s clenched fists.

“Bullet graze” she grunted “probably made worse by a flying leap onto a moving truck followed by an uncontrolled roll into a rather large ditch” Derek shook his head.

“They weren’t marked” he remembered “the guys in riot gear, we couldn’t tell from the footage what agency they were from” Emily laughed sarcastically and threw a look at her mother who pursed her lips and looked up at Derek sternly.

“They weren’t from any agency” the older woman said “it’s likely they’re private military hired by whoever it is my impossibly noble and idealistic husband and my brash reckless daughter have pissed off this time” Emily looked down and bit her lip through the rest of her mother’s fussing with the stitches, sufficiently chastised.

“Private military deployed on US soil?” Derek asked, surprised. He’d heard of these private militaries being deployed to protect American assets overseas but to have them gunning down federal agents in rush hour traffic was beyond comprehension.

“I was pretty surprised too” Emily hissed as her mother cleaned the newly sewn skin once more with rubbing alcohol and binned the bloodied supplies. “I need to find the head of Operation Dip” Emily gritted through clenched teeth. Her mother moved behind her to tend to another wound on her shoulder. This one much smaller, requiring only a thorough clean and a few butterfly bandages.

“The team figured as much already” Derek nodded watching as Elizabeth Prentiss moved on to the tensor bandages and started binding her daughter’s ribs as though she was an experienced trauma nurse instead of a career politician and well known diplomat. He met Emily’s eyes again with worry and determination “they’ve backed off officially but  we’re still working the profile, you’ll need something to blackmail him with too right?”

“No” Emily said in a hard voice “I need the contents of the cache in this safe house so that I can kill him” Elizabeth paused her movements for a beat but said nothing, Derek’s eyes widened.

“Emily” Derek gasped “I know you’ve already puzzled out that the same man likely killed your father. I get it. I absolutely do. But it won’t bring him back and it won’t help how you’re feeling”

“It’s not that” Emily said, eyes suddenly wide with earnest fear and sadness as her fists finally relaxed under his hands. “it’s never going to end, Derek” she explained “Those children deserve to be children, and whoever this guy is, he will never stop hunting anyone who’s a threat. Those officers on the bridge? They prove how dedicated he is.”. Derek nodded yet his gut clenched in fear. There was one thing that worried him over all other concerns: he didn’t want to be left behind again.

“Let me help this time” he pleaded “I don’t want to chase you into danger only to find I’m minutes late to have your back, not again. I definitely don’t want to pace around here or the BAU feeling helpless. You don’t have to do this alone”

Emily seemed to struggle for words for several minutes before she decided to simply lean into him instead, planting a sweet lingering kiss against his lips. Derek responded in earnest. His lips opened to hers, pouring all the words he couldn’t find to say out loud into their connection. A quiet clearing of Elizabeth Prentiss’s throat interrupted them and Derek pulled back blushing before he made a fool of himself in front of the rather intimidating woman. He watched her finish the binding then leave the room with another stern nod.

“Feels good to kiss you hello after being kissed goodbye so dramatically the last time” Derek tried to keep his tone light as the door to the next room thudded closed behind the reluctant nurse. Emily nodded sadly at the truth behind the teasing.

“I mean it, Derek” she told him seriously “I’m going to do what I was groomed and moulded and trained to do. I’m going to assassinate a high level CIA agent responsible for maintaining Operation Dip”

“I know” he said.

“I don’t know if you do” She responded sadly, her hands slipped out of his to touch his chest, then smooth up to hold his face “you’re a good man, Derek, the best I’ve ever known. This kind of thing changes people” she saw him open his mouth to protest but stopped him with another soft kiss then let him see the darkness that haunted her when she pulled back to see his face. “It’s not like shooting an Unsub who’s about to take another life. You won’t be able to justify it so clearly, it won’t have been the best you could do in the moment. It will be calculated and premeditated. It takes a piece of you every single time. A piece you can’t get back.”

“Then don’t” Derek pleaded “I’ll follow you anywhere, Emily. I’m in. I’m ride or die because the only thing in this world that I’m sure of right now is that I don’t want to live without you again” his hands trailed to her hips and back, caressing her shoulders and neck until he could cradle her face in his hands in return “but if we can find a way to do this without having to sacrifice that…”

Emily’s first instinct was to dismiss his pleading as naïveté, but then she remembered that she’d given him that key and the clues he needed to follow her for that very reason. Derek Morgan was a good man, the best she’d known, and he wouldn’t let her fall into her past or martyr herself for revenge. She’d been trained in this cycle of secrets, manoeuvres, politics, and violence but something in him always pulled her back toward the light. A reason for fighting beyond duty and following orders. In him lay the bravery to imagine something beyond, something worth really living for. She thought over the last days of mounting horror and remembered the oasis of his kitchen in the morning light, his soft sweater wrapped around her, his deep voice reading her to sleep.

“Anna’s dead” she told him in a whisper. Her arms wrapping around his wrists but not pulling his hands away from her, she simply anchored herself while an odd sort of grief welled up in her.

“We thought that might be the case” he whispered. “Reid wondered if it was her blood on the jacket you gave JJ”

“It is” Emily nodded, her eyes finally left his as shame joined regret in her chest “she’d been injured on the way out. She didn’t want to risk that they’d be able to find out what she knew” a shiver ran down Derek’s back at the implication. The blow back pattern was clear about who’d pulled the trigger, her explanation made clear the desperation that had possessed her when they’d found her in the woods; what it must have taken to fire that bullet and run like hell. “Her sister died like Borges tried to kill me, like many have died since then. I survived and then never looked back, but Anna kept fighting”

“You’ve been fighting all this time too” he told her confidently. “Through Russia, through Doyle, and who knows what else. All the way to the BAU”