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"converse are back in style, i guess. i saw another boy about your age wearing them, too." yeonjun chuckled and grabbed his change, his bag with the drinks already in his hand, the familiar crinkling playing in his ears. "tell him i say hi, then, will ya?" it was a joke, but the cashier, who smelled of smoke and cheap cologne, said, "sure!" yeonjun walked out of the gas station, the bell dinging as he opened the door. he walked to the park not far from it and sat on a small bench. it was painted red, but the paint was chipping off, curving up as if begging to be ripped off. yeonjun opened his drink, a fizzy noise spewing out, and he sipped the drink bitterly, his mind wandering to nothing in particular. "yeonjun?" a small voice called out. yeonjun ignored it at first, swishing the drink from side to side in his mouth. the voice called him again and he turned in the direction of the familiar sound. beomgyu. yeonjun did a double take before smiling and standing up, spitting out his drink in shock. "oh my god, beomgyu?!" he yelled excitedly.beomgyu ran up to yeonjun, the familiar sounds of his footsteps making their way to the bench. "hey!" yeonjun smiled super hard, some of the liquid trickling down his chin from spitting it out. "oh, let me get that for you." beomgyu reached to wipe yeonjun's chin, but yeonjun smacked his hand away. "still trying to baby me," he said, earning a chuckle from beomgyu. yeonjun smiled shyly and stood up, his drink still in his hand, swishing around. "so whats up?" beomgyu chewed his bottom lip anxiously. "nothing much. just wondering how you've been. long time no see, huh?" "yeah. high school was four years ago.." "damn. its really been that long, huh? you look great, by the way." yeonjun furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at himself. he had on a black long sleeved shirt tucked into cuffed jeans, a belt in place. he had little smiley faces drawn on the pockets of the jeans and pen writing on his converse. his hair was slicked back, due to him not wanting to deal with it. beomgyu wasn't lying, and that eyebrow slit added to his features. "thanks. now... how have you been? its been so long, holy crap. how was america?" beomgyu chuckled. "i've been good. and you're never gonna believe this; i met him." yeonjun paused, "him" loading. "oh my god really? how is it going? was it that guy you met online?" "its going really well, actually. and yes, i went to see him in america. his name is taehyun. i...i think he might be the one..."yeonjun's eyes lit up. "thats fucking adorable."beomgyu chuckled. "it feels cringey to say, but i really think he's the one for me. i'm gonna propose to him soon, actually." "oh my fucking god, hold on, let me give you my number. i finally got a phone! i've only had it for a few months, but still...i've been working with fashion since graduation. you should let me help with the color palette and like the outfits and theme, and- oh my god, you have no fucking idea how happy i am to see you." yeonjun handed beomgyu his phone, and beomgyu typed his number in. "sorry, i'm getting ahead of myself with the wedding thing. its just- oh my god, beomgyu! aren't you ecstatic?"there," beomgyu said, returning yeonjun his phone. "i'm so glad i saw you again, really. and i am so ecsatic, just trying to be calm. i'm anxious about it."yeonjun continued smiling, but beomgyu felt guilty. "i'm sorry i just left in the middle of senior year without telling you..." yeonjun felt his smile soften. "oh, yeah, that was kinda messed up. i had to hear it from some kids in another class... i'll admit, i was so mad at you at first. but i get it now." beomgyu teared up a bit. "yeah, after my mom died, i didn't really have anywhere to go. i know i could've stayed with you, but i'd already been planning and saving to meet taehyun in real life a few months later, so it kinda worked out." yeonjun walked up to beomgyu and hugged him. "you've changed so much, beomie. but you're so much happier since the last time i saw you." he stepped back and smacked beomgyu in the head. "ow!" "thats for leaving without saying goodbye. and going across the world to see a stranger on the internet. you were bold...""eh, we'd already sent letters in the mail and facetimed constantly. i had full trust in him." "i'm glad you're back. by any chance, is he here with you?" "yes, he is! maybe we'll go back to america in a few years. but we've both been wanting to come here. he hasn't visited since he was little, and quite a few of his relatives are here in korea. we're staying in seoul, as you can see, but i'll be meeting them in incheon soon."yeonjun smiled so hard. "i swear to god, you guys are so fucking cute." beomgyu smiled shyly. "yeah..i'm gonna propose to him soon. i already asked for his parents' blessings, and they both said yes. i'm just...scared."yeonjun put his arms on beomgyu's shoulders. "listen. you were bold enough to go to the other side of the fucking planet to meet the man you fell in love with online. i fully believe you can do this." beomgyu wiped his tears. "yeah...i know." yeonjun sighed. "god, you were fucking crazy for that though...you could've just stayed with me, but..."beomgyu chuckled. "anywho, i'm glad you're happy. you've got this, okay?" "yes..okay! okay." beomgyu said, the nervousness smoothing away from his face. "i should've visted you while i was in america..."yeonjun's statement made beomgyu snap his head in his direction. "you came to america? why?" "oh, i was studying abroad. fashion, like i talked about earlier. were you in la?"beomgyu held in a breath. "yeah." yeonjum clicked his toungue in understanding. "ah, i was in chicago. i was only there for about a year, though." yeonjun smiled sadly. "well, the sun's setting soon. i'm gonna get going. bye!""okay, bye! i'm so glad i saw you again." "i'm glad i saw you too, really." yeonjun grabbed his bag and began walking home.
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on sunday, yeonjun stayed home. the store he worked at was closed and he went grocery shopping earlier in the week. he slept until the afternoon and then decided do something to ease his restless state. it was a calm day, but he couldn't seem to keep himself calm. his encounter with beomgyu made him so happy.hueningkai, his friend since high school that he'd kept in contact with, texted him. the familiar ding made yeonjun swing his head in the direction of his phone. "hey, you free today?" yeonjun smiled at the text. "no. 50 bucks.""damnn, that low? bet. anywho, i was baking yesterday. want me to bring some stuff over?" "omg yes" hueningkai lived in an apartment a few doors down from yeonjun. soon enough, a knock was heard at yeonjun's door, a shuffling noise outside. "coming!" he peeked through the peep hole in his door and saw hueningkai, so he quickly opened the door, a familiar creak coming from it. "hey, kai!" "hey!" kai walked over to the kitchen area, setting a plastic bag down on the table. "i made brownies, cookies, and peanut butter fudge." "ooh, gimme the fudge." hueningkai laughed and handed him the tupperware that contained the fudge. yeonjun opened it and grabbed one of the squares, biting into it. "this is amazing." he sat down at the table. "thank you. you can have it all. i'm not gonna eat it." "why not?" "i still have all of that oreo fudge left over from last week." "oh my god that was delicious..but this is better." hueningkai smiled, watching yeonjun scarf down the small squares. after yeonjun decided he had enough, he laid his head on the table, a 'clunk' being heard when his head made conatact. "my tum hurts." "you ate too quickly." "i know. but that fudge was so darn good.." hueningkai closed the lid and put it in the fridge. he walked over to the table, pulled out a chair, and sat down beside yeonjun. they held eye contact for a minute before yeonjun stood up. "wanna watch a movie or something?" "no, its all good. i have stuff to do at home.""oh-kay, well bye! thanks for the fudge." "no problem." "see you at work tomorrow!""oh yeah...see you then."hueningkai walked out of the apartment, another creak coming from the door, and yeonjun was left alone again.
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yeonjun rolled over in his bed and grabbed his phone off of his night stand. he didn't have any notifications, but his alarm was going off. "shh, c'mon!" he tried pressing the stop button but it wasn't working. he slapped the screen repeatedly and a few seconds later, the alarm stopped, left on snooze. yeonjun rolled his eyes, now awake, with a splitting headache.he turned off his alarm, not giving it another chance to be annoying and ring once the snooze time ended, and laid face down in the bed. he thought about saturday night again, but ultimately ended up rolling his eyes and getting in the shower. these bills weren't going to pay themselves. after he finished getting ready, yeonjun left his apartment and walked to his job, the "thrift" store, as people referred to it. he usually walked with hueningkai, but he was coming in a bit later than usual today. yeonjun used the keys to open the door and went to the back of the building. he checked the listings for today (some clients came in for people to help them with choosing clothing, specially designing clothing, etc. they had to make sure the people that specialized in those catergories were there on those days.) he put on the company hat along with his name tag. employees could dress how they wanted (as long as it followed the dress code), but those two items were required. yeonjun skimmed through the list of clients for today once more and walked back to the front of the building. hueningkai was there, waiting to be let in. yeonjun rushed to the door and let him in. "sorry i wasn't there to greet you before you arrived. i was looking at todays listings. not too many today. i thought you were coming in later..." "oh, its fine. and i just got kinda bored. only half-an-hour early... so what do we need to do?" "oh, we should probably wipe down the crafting table and such. and then we have to restock the shelves because they didn't do it at yesterday's night shift. check the dressing rooms for leftover clothes the nightshift might have forgotten... the usual.""okay. i'll check the dressing rooms first."yeonjun gasped, suddenly remembering something. "ALSO, remember, next week is the meeting for the new partner. we have to be there. if it goes well, we'll have truck a few days after." :')"everyone in staff has to be there?" "no, just a few managers." "don't the bosses, or higher ups or whatever, usually handle that stuff?""yeah, but they selected a handful of us at different stores to go in. you and i were chosen because minghao said we had an 'eye for fashion'.""oh. well, he owns the company. he'd know. i'll wipe down the sewing and crafting tables, after. you can restock all the clothes." hueningkai hated restocking clothes; he hated that there were multiple articles of the same clothing. yeonjun suspected he had a minor individuality complex, but he never really brought it up. "okay. oh, another reminder; the new customization machine arrives some time today, and i have no idea what it looks like or how it works. the others will be here soon, too." - - - the store opened a few hours later and people came walking in, looking around. the six staff members helped many people, and a familiar face walked in. "oh my god, i know you!"taehyun looked around, pointing to himself in question. "me?""yes! oh god, you probably don't recognize me. i'm yeonjun! i was close friend's with beomgyu in high school. he had the biggest crush on you, but i was totally skeptical. my bad for that; i definetly thought you were a catfish for a while."taehyun chuckled, walking up to yeonjun. "up close, i kind of recognize you. your face structure and hair kinda changed, but yeah, i recognize you. you lost your chubby cheeks..."yeonjun smiled. "oh my god, its crazy that you're here. of all places! okay, sorry, i'm getting ahead of myself. what are you here for?""oh, i have a scheduled appointment. its under the name tae..." yeonjun smiled. "i never would've guessed it was you." taehyun sat with yeonjun, discussing the style he was going for and all of his measurements. yeonjun gave him a few ideas, showing him clothing that was already there, and soon enough he was trying on clothes. he found a few articles of clothing he liked and went up to purchase them. "and hey, if you ever want a custom piece, just schedule another appointment or order from our website!" yeonjun said cheerfully at the register."oh, okay. thanks!" yeonjun nodded his head, watching hueningkai attend to the other customers. "you know, i'm not even that serious about clothes. but beomgyu seems to have taken an interest in it. i wanted to dress up and see if he'd like it.." yeonjun smiled. "i swear, you two are adorable. you know, the crazy thing is that i just ran into him the other day. did you guys just get to seoul?" "yeah, we arrived a few days ago. we're staying with my aunt for now, but we're looking for apartments to move into." "oh my god, my apartment complex has a few apartments open for renting! hold on, let me write down the name." yeonjun grabbed a sticky note and wrote down the name of his apartment complex."oh my god, thank you so much ! it'd be so nice to have neighbors we know.""no problem! hueningkai actually lives in the same complex, too." "oh, yeah, i remember him! hopefully we all can hang out and get to know each other." "oh, that'd be cool!" yeonjun finished checking taehyun's items out. taehyun handed him the money he owed and walked out, waving slowly. "bye~ i'm glad i could have a conversation with you."- "hey, guys, i'm gonna have to head out. my headache is..." he stumbled a bit, but the others were so busy with customers that they didn't notice. yeonjun pulled himself together and left the building, speed walking home.- when yeonjun got home, he went under his covers and took a deep breath. he'd encountered two people of his past.maybe its a sign...he shook his head. he wasn't the kind of person to believe in fate, and things associated with that. it just isn't real. meeting these people from his past didn't mean he was going to somehow bump into him. yeonjun thought about the concept of fate before slowly drifting to sleep, his headache worsening.
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tuesday ;yeonjun walked to the gas station again, this time with sweatpants, hoodie, and slippers on. he called off work for the day, his headache now being more of a migrane. "rough day?" "something like that." "here. take a sucker. free." "thanks." yeonjun paid for his drinks and the medication he needed, putting the sucker in his bag. he began walking home.- wednesday ; yeonjun couldn't ignore his job anymore. bills. they had to be paid. it didn't matter if he had a horrible migrane; he had to go to work.he went to work and was met with frustrated staff members later in the day. "man! why'd you leave the other day? you're lucky we only had a few clients! only you and kai are really good at that stuff..." "sorry. it was...an off day." "okay. just give us a heads up sooner next time.""yeah, again, kai and you are the only ones who know how to do that stuff well. he handled it pretty well on his own, but..." "sorry, guys. i'm not leaving today." "good."yeonjun checked the work chart, and noticed that he wasn't marked for clocking out early. hueningkai noticed him looking at it. "i clocked you out when your shift ended. you're welcome." "oh...thanks. isn't that...""illegal? yes. but eh, its no problem. you've clocked in for me plenty of times when i was running late. i was just paying you back."yeonjun smiled, his cheeks hurting. "well, thank you. really." "no problem."
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yeonjun was restless and had barely slept the night before. around noon, like it was fate, hueningkai called him. "you should come over!" yeonjun laughed through the phone. "okay, i'll be there in a few minutes. bye." "bye!" yeonjun put on his slides and walked to hueningkai's apartment, knocking on the door. "its unlocked, come in!" yeonjun opened the door and saw hueningkai on the couch. beside him was an excited beomgyu and a nervous taehyun. "oh, hey!" "hey! we're gonna watch a movie," beomgyu said. yeonjun sat on the floor in front of the couch. some desserts hueningkai made and a pizza were on the small table in front of him. "we were looking for apartments to rent, and we found one we liked on the floor above this one. we're going to be moving in next week!" yeonjun smiled brightly. "oh my god, yes. all of us in the same apartment; i'm so excited- oh my god, its just like we always planned."hueningkai, beomgyu, and yeonjun chuckled. taehyun furrowed his eyebrows. "wait, what'd you guys plan?" hueningkai smiled. "okay, so, originally in middle school, me and beomgyu were friends. then we met yeonjun in freshman year, and we've been best friends since. we always planned on being roomates, and this is the closest we're getting to that."taehyun smiled. "your guys' friendship is so cute. i was never really close with anyone back home, which was why i was always online; it was my second home." yeonjun smiled, reaching to hug taehyun. "we're your bestest friends now." he looked over to beomgyu. "and that...thing is your boyfriend, i guess," he said jokingly. beomgyu kicked him, causing him to fall over, laughing. the room erupted in laughter. "okay, lets get this movie started." - - once the movie finished, everyone was tired. "guys, its only like 1:30, c'mon!" yeonjun said excitedly. "so tired..." hueningkai groaned. "ugh, fine, you can take a nap. taehyun, beomgyu?" "i'm actually pretty tired. are you, gyu?" "eh, not really. but i could go for a nap." hueningkai got up and went to his room. "wake me up at 3.""yeah, same."yeonjun laughed. "okay. i'm gonna head out, but i'll be back to get you all up." yeonjun put on his shoes, deciding to go around town. he was tired of sitting in the house, though he still kind of had a headache. he stopped at a small shop near his apartment, seeing cute little figures in the window display. he stopped and stared at it for a while. flashback"yeonjun, wait up!""no~ you've gotta go fast! it closes soon."they'd just gotten back from a date and wanted to stop by the new small shop that had just opened. "fine. get on my back. we're gonna go real fast." "what?! okay, okay." yeonjun jumped onto his back and he fell, both of them laughing. "okay, one more try!" yeonjun jumped again and this time it was successful. "okay, lets go." he started running, carrying yeonjun on his back. "woah, bin! you're going too-" he tripped, dropping yeonjun again. yeonjun landed on the ground. "oh no, are you okay?" he said, laughing. yeonjun laughed, too. "i'm fine, bin. i swear, i think you were trying to kill me.""what?! i'd never," he said, laughing. yeonjun stood up and walked to him. he wrapped his arms around his lover's neck. "menace." "only for you." "can i kiss you?""of course." yeonjun pecked his lips and pulled away. "i'm gonna beat you there!" he said, bolting for the building as quick as possible. "no you won't!" his lover yelled back, running to catch up to him. flashback endyeonjun turned away from the building, wiping the tears that had escaped his eyes. "soobin..."yeonjun continued walking. he stopped at the theatre that they'd been to that day for their date. "just one ticket, please."he went inside the theatre and sat down. it was a romance.-half way through, yeonjun stood up and left. he couldn't deal with it all today, so he went back to taehyun's. it was only around 2:40, and yeonjun couldn't decide if he should wake the others up. just to be careful, he woke them. "no~, i had twenty more minutes," hueningkai pouted. the others looked at him and laughed. "should we just watch movies all day? we can play uno, too!" taehyun suggested. "oh my god, yes, that sounds great!" beomgyu replied. hueningkai and yeonjun looked at each other, smiling at the scene unraveling in front of them. "oh, really? should we go and buy more snacks or do you think this is enough?" taehyun asked. "yeah, i can buy your favorites. even though hueningkai's baking is awesome," beomgyu said, turning to grab his jacket. he noticed the two others looking at them. "uhm...why are you looking at us like that?"hueningkai and yeonjun both chuckled, causing the other two's faces to heat up. hueningkai spoke first, saying, "you two are adorable."yeonjun shook his head in agreement, saying, "you have made me believe in love again."hueningkai's eyes widened and he cleared his throat. "uhm, anyways, you should get going quickly." "right, right."taegyu exited the building, holding hands and laughing. "yeonjun...are you doing okay?" "what do you mean?""what you just said..was it about soobin?"yeonjun paused. "no, no. i was just thinking about the concept of love and stuff..."hueningkai rolled eyes. "liar. c'mon, tell me what you're thinking about. you've helped me through my relationships and its time i paid you back.""me helping you was because i wanted to, not because i wanted anything back.""okay, then i'm helping because i want to. whats going on in that mind of yours?" hueningkai said, nudging yeonjun's forehead. "i just...god, where do i start.""wherever you see fit."after a moment, yeonjun spoke again. "okay. well, i don't know. i mean, i ran into beomgyu. of everywhere he could've been in seoul, he was where i was in that exact moment. it wasn't planned at all. and then taehyun coming into our job? of all places? thats crazy. and i don't know, maybe part of me thinks that its fate,"hueningkai cut him off, "i thought you didn't believe in fate?""i don't, i just...i don't know."they sat for a minute. "uhm, well, about the beomgyu thing, he called me a few days ago, letting me know he'd be coming to seoul. it was actually quite a shock. that day, he messaged me, asking where you'd be. i told him, and he went there, not really sure,"yeonjun paused. for some reason, this hurt him. "and, as for taehyun, beomgyu was talking about his new minor interest in fashion. naturally, i started talking about my job, and taehyun asked me more about it. i gave him the address and told him you'd be there, too."yeonjun felt an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. soobin had always said that them finding each other was fate, but yeonjun didn't believe in fate. and then these events made him believe that maybe, just maybe, fate was real. and that what he had with soobin was fate. but he was proven wrong. hiding how he truly felt, yeonjun smiled. "oh my god, duh. we both know i don't believe in fate. i just thought they were creepy coincidences," he said, laughing. "yeah. honestly that would be creepy.""yeah," yeonjun agreed. "good talk?""good talk."- after finishing their last movie, it was 3am. everyone was asleep except yeonjun, who was in the bathroom, crying. deciding he was overreacting, yeonjun stopped, washed his face, and went to lay down.hueningkai was in his room, taegyu was in the guest bedroom, and yeonjun was on the couch.
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when yeonjun awoke, hueningkai was already up, making pancakes. "woah. what are these for?" "they're for all of you! pancakes aren't really my specialty, but i know you like them, so i'm trying. beomgyu and taehyun went out for something, i forgot why."yeonjun looked at the 'pancakes'. batter was all over the counter and a youtube video on how to make them was playing on hueningkai's phone."its alright. clean up. i'll buy breakfast. donuts and pancakes. sound all right?" "noo, i really wanted to do this.." he pouted, yeonjun laughing at the sight. "its alright. practice makes better. and you did your best; i'm more than grateful for that." hueningkai smiled and shook his head. "i thought practice makes perfect?" yeonjun walked over to him and pointed at the batter mess, making a fake judgemental face. "no one's perfect." he exited hueningkai's apartment and went to his own. he washed his face quickly, got dressed, and grabbed his wallet. he made his way out of the building. "hey, yeonjun, wait up!" yeonjun turned around to see an out-of-breath beomgyu leaning over, hands on his knees. "oh, hey!" beomgyu chuckled and let out a deep sigh. "where're you headed?" "ah, i'm getting breakfast. wanna join me?" "no, thanks. i'm headed up to hueningkai's" "oh, okay. he's cleaning up a failed pancake attempt, so have fun with that." beomgyu chuckled and walked to the door, entering the building. yeonjun made his way to the nearest bakery. - on his way back, yeonjun saw taehyun. "hey." taehyun was startled, but said "hey." when he saw it was yeonjun, he smiled. "oh, hey!" "can i offer you a donut...sort of a peace offering?" taehyun stopped and smiled. "i don't know if i'll ever be able to forgive you for all of those draw fours yesterday..." yeonjun looked up, acting like he was praying. "please, forgive me. i HAD to win. i cannot lose. i apologize. i am extremely competetive." taehyun laughed. "fine. but only if you have glazed." yeonjun laughed and opened the box, handing taehyun a glazed donut. he took it gladly. "thanks, yeon." "so, we're friends." "yeah, friends. i forgive you for how horribly you treated me in that game." taehyun put his hand out to shake his in agreement. "no thanks. glaze flakes. pinky promise instead?" yeonjun put his pinky out. they settled on a fistbump. - - when yeonjun knocked on hueningkai's door, beomgyu answered. "he's still cleaning it up. he said he'll never try this again." yeonjun chuckled and set the items on the table. "heres some donuts for you guys. i stopped at mcdonald's and got pancakes. i already finished them." a "dammit mcdonald's pancakes" was heard from the kitchen. yeonjun and beomgyu looked at each other and laughed. "what?" hueningkai yelled. "nothing, nothing," beomgyu reassured him. a few more swears were heard, followed by more laughter. - - - soon all four of them were back in hueningkai's apartment. "okay, well, i had fun. i'm gonna head home now. cleaning," yeonjun said. "okay! see you at work tomorrow?""yeah, see you!"yeonjun said his goodbyes to everyone and went back to his apartment. rather than cleaning, he crawled in bed. he felt unsettled. he didn't know how to describe it. it was a feeling in his stomach. kind of like...homesick? no. nervous? sad? he couldn't decide. but there was one thing he could think about. "soobin..."
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yeonjun decided to stop at the cafe. a simple elegance was surrounding him as he stepped into the familiar building. he looked around, seeing the booth he always sat in with soobin. obviously soobin wasn't there. that'd be a strange cliché and yeonjun wouldn't be able to keep from laughing. no, you see, soobin was working. taking orders at the cash register. which somehow seemed worse. yeonjun paused and sucked in a breath. he couldn't get his legs to move. soobin looked so...well, different.his hair was a light brown, just like yeonjun remembered. the only thing different about him now was that he had an eyebrow piercing. yeonjun chuckled without thinking. soobin had always wanted a piercing. the air caught in yeonjun's throat finally broke free and yeonjun realized he'd been holding it. soobin looked over the customer he was with's shoulder and made eye contact with yeonjun, his eyes widening. he looked back at the customer and finished with him as quickly as possible. yeonjun felt nauseous. all the memories of soobin he'd forced away came flooding in, drowning him with the emotions he tried to destroy with them. he did miss soobin, really. but this was just...wrong? no. he felt out of place. he couldn't pinpoint why. he felt his eyes begin to water, walking out of the building in a haze.yeonjun leaned against the building, crying against his better judgement. he wiped his eyes with his sleeve, falling to the ground. he pulled himself into a ball and cried, overwhelmed with the flood of emotions. the doorbell chimed again and a couple walked out, holding hands and laughing. one of the women paused at yeonjun and ruffled his hair, her girlfriend looking at yeonjun in pity. "it'll get better." she set down a small box and continued walking. it seemed around the size of a muffin, but yeonjun wasn't sure. he wiped his eyes and stood up, leaving the box in its place. "someone will actually need it..." as yeonjun began walking away, the bell's familair "ding!" played again. yeonjun sped up, and a familiar voice calling, "hey!" only made him go faster.he didn't dare turn around. footsteps were heard behind him, catching up. it was soobin. "wait, please!" yeonjun paused for a second, slowly turning around to see an out-of-breath soobin close behind him. he wiped the rest of his tears, trying to hide all evidence that he had been crying. soobin looked at him, refusing to let the tears fall from his eyes. "yeonjun-" he couldn't find the words he wanted to say. they were there, but they seemed to get caught in his throat. "hey." soobin coughed, trying to hold back the sob in his throat. "how..are you doing? how was america? when did you...get back?" yeonjun wiped the new tears on his cheeks. "i've been fine. it was...nice. i got back a few months ago. you?" soobin looked to the ground, the tears finally falling. "i don't know." yeonjun smiled sadly. "i'm sorry we couldn't make long distance work. i love you and it-"a sob caught in his throat made him stop. he took a deep breath and began walking again. he realized that he said "i love you" and not "i loved you." he didn't know what to do with this information."i'm sorry...yeonjun i'm so sorry," soobin was sobbing. yeonjun looked at him. "yeah, i'm sorry, too. but hey, that was fate, right? as much as we loved each other, it just wouldn't work." he was being a total hypocrite. using fate, a concept he didn't even believe in, to make soobin think their relationship ending was supposed to happen. yeonjun thought that, if he'd just had a little more faith in fate, he'd be able to believe that statement. but as much as he wanted it to be true, it wasn't."please...yeonjun, don't go. you're back, we can make it work- " "lets keep in touch. i'm not ready to..." he looked down at his shoes. "converse?" soobin blinked hard. "yeah...your old ones. i wear them whenever i miss you..." yeonjun's breath hitched, and he slowly turned around.he began walking away, and for a moment, soobin thought about grabbing his arm. he reached out for him, but stopped midway, pulling his arm back. yeonjun felt his headache come back stronger than before, but he continued walking, knowing it was because of how hard he'd cried.
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he was gone. truly, and utterly gone. no more i love you's. no more waking up in each other's arms. no dates. no late night talks. they were done, and yeonjun was gone, and soobin didn't want to live without him. soobin was sad at first; he stayed in his room and cried. for weeks. he wouldn't eat, and the only time he could bring himself to was when the pain in his stomach would scream at him, threatening to kill him right then and there. "do it then," he'd say to himself, "just kill me." but alas, he'd give in, gathering all of his strength to walk to the kitchen and eat. some crackers, a sandwich, etc. as soon as he was finished, he would go right back to his bed. and he would cry again, clutching the only thing he had left of his ex-lover; a pair of converse. - next, soobin was angry. he was angry at yeonjun, for not even giving long distance a chance. they'd conquered plenty together, and this was a small hiccup; they could easily have overcome it. he was angry at himself, for giving up so easily. - flashback - "soobin."soobin pulled his arms from around yeonjun's waist. they were sitting on the couch, nothing being heard but their breaths. soobin remembered trying to sync his with yeonjun's, but his breathing pattern was inconsistent, so he could never seem to match them just right."i'm going to america. for schooling."soobin froze in his place. he was silent for a moment, but finally gathered the strength to speak. lips trembling, he whispered, "so this is it, then?"yeonjun turned to the floor, a pained expression on his face. he'd always been upfront about how he felt, but in this moment he couldn't bare to look at soobin. yeonjun could imagine his expression in his head;eyes filled with tears, his lip quivering, his face flushing from trying not to cry. yeonjun knew seeing this would set it in stone, and he couldn't bear the thought.soobin scoffed."alright, okay. i wish you the best. i hope you benefit from the lessons there."yeonjun stood for a second, fighting the urge to look at soobin. he clenched his fist so hard his nails dug into his palms, drawing blood. yeonjun walked out of the house, not even bothering to put on his shoes.his converse.- end of flashback - "maybe i just wasn't enough to fight for."soobin whispered bitterly to himself. of course he wasn't. he never seemed to be.he was angry at the universe, for showing him love so intense and wonderful and just taking it from him. he was mad at fate, for tricking him into believing his fate was good and pure, and filled with unconditional love.but most of all, he hated himself. he blamed himself for all of it. - as time passed, soobin was able to function again. it took a while, to feel like he was able to do anything without the greif overwhelming him. his university friends grew annoyed. "you're being dramatic and acting like he died. you broke up, get over it."they weren't friends for much longer.- saturday : soobin ( vii. ) - soobin smiled happily; he was really in his element. working at his favorite café, speaking with customers and getting to know them. it was seemingly one of the only things that could distract him from the ache he felt in his heart. a shallow hole, he referred to it as. whenever he sat alone at night, he would talk to it. it was as if he had part of his heart ripped out, and it was slowly healed thinly on the outside. but the emptiness inside remained.soobin heard a ding at the door and his grin grew wider. another customer ! he was always excited, always ready to serve them. even if it was a rush hour and he felt stressed, seeing the happiness of the customers always cheered him up.the customer walked up to the counter, and soobin took his order cheerfully. the bell made a ding noise again, but he remained focused.after a second, he glanced towards the new customer.yeonjun. he inhaled deeply and stepped back, holding eye contact. yeonjun turned around and ran out of the store. soobin did his best not to cry and quickly placed the order for the customer and gave it to him. he ran out of the building, following behind yeonjun. "hey!" he yelled.yeonjun sped up. soobin jogged, ready to bolt to catch up to yeonjun at any time. he'd secretly hoped for this moment; to see his past lover, reconnect with him, and have a burning and intense love like they did before.yet all he felt was sadness. a sense of longing, lonliness. he loved yeonjun, though. just the same as he did before, if not even more. so why did he feel like this when he saw him?it been a while ! he thought he'd say. yeonjun would agree, and they'd decide to get a bite to eat. they'd catch up and reconnect, ending the night with tears of happiness. but no. it sucks when plans don't work out, right? or when fate has something else planned? it always sounds better in your head. always."wait, please!" yeonjun paused and slowly turned to face soobin, wiping his eyes quickly. soobin melted, seeing how beautiful the younger was, even as he was crying. all of the memories they had together came flooding back, but he tried to keep himself composed. he felt like mocking himself. composed? all he wanted to do was break down in front of his past lover, to tell him how horrible its been, to show him just how much he loved him. he wanted to tell him how many times he thought about ending it all. in an instant he could, he knew this. a life without yeonjun? poinless, dull, all the same. yeonjun was the only thing keeping him going all his life, the only purpose he felt he ever had.soobin knew this was bad, unhealthy. he knew this type of love could destroy him, even destroy yeonjun too.but love? was this even love? he relied on yeonjun, in a way. a world without him was, in soobin's eyes, a world not worth living.but what if yeonjun no longer felt love for soobin? i mean, what if he never even did?soobin looked at yeonjun, refusing to let the tears fall from his eyes. "yeonjun-" he couldn't find the words he wanted to say. they were there, but they seemed to get caught in his throat. he wanted to scream from the top of his lungs, to carve into himself to show yeonjun just how painful it was to be without him. he wanted to tear himself to shreds just to prove how much he loved the younger.horrible, right? and confusing. yet he couldn't help but feel this way.he'd do anything for yeonjun, as always."hey." soobin coughed, trying to hold back the sob in his throat. "how are you doing? how was america? when did you... get back?" soobin saw new tears falling from yeonjun's eyes, and he resisted the urge to wipe them away as best as he could. yeonjun, seeming to read his mind, wiped the new tears on his cheeks."i've been fine. it was...nice. i got back a few months ago. you?" soobin looked to the ground, the tears finally falling. i love you, he wanted to say. he wanted to carve it into his face so everyone could see. especially yeonjun."i don't know." yeonjun smiled sadly. "i'm sorry we couldn't make long distance work. i love you and it-"soobin froze. "i love you too!" he wanted to yell. he wanted to hug him so long his arms would be sore, to kiss him so long that he couldn't breath. he would to be completely absorbed into yeonjun, so much so that he would be all he could think about."i'm sorry...yeonjun i'm so sorry," soobin was sobbing. yeonjun looked at him. "yeah, i'm sorry, too. but hey, that was fate, right? as much as we loved each other, it just wouldn't work." soobin sucked in a breath. fate. that same fate that wronged him so many times? really, yeonjun? you never believed in it."i don'tbelieve in that kinda stuff. like my other half? or destined to be together? i don't know, it just doesn't seem real." "please...yeonjun, don't go. you're back, we can make it work- " "lets keep in touch. i'm not ready to..." yeonjun looked down at his shoes."converse?" soobin blinked hard. "yeah...your old ones. i wear them whenever i miss you..." yeonjun made a noise, and turned, walking away. soobin thought about grabbing his arm. he reached out for him, but stopped midway, pulling his arm back. a soaring pain went through soobin's body, and he covered his mouth to keep himself from vomiting. the pain was so intense, he thought he would die in that moment. dying from heartbreak?soobin ran back into the store, straight to the bathroom. he went into a stall and threw up. he sat in there for a bit, sobbing so hard he could barely breathe.when he finally was able to gather himself, he went home, not even bothering to tell his coworkers.he threw himself onto his bed and grabbed some medication; his head was killing him, most likely from all the crying, he decided. he pulled his pillow close to him, cuddling it, pretending it was yeonjun.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
yeonjun was stumbling home.his vision was blurring as his headache worsened, and he clutched his stomach in agony, doing everything he could to keep himself from vomiting.once he got home, he immediately took some pain reliever, chugging the bottled water. afterwards, he took a hot shower, hoping it would help in some way. exhausted, yeonjun layed on his bed, trying to keep himself from crying. he felt like shit, physically and mentally, and he had no idea what to do. yeonjun cried himself to sleep that night, waking up constantly throughout the night to throw up. he assumed he must have gotten some kind of sickness when he sat on the ground outside.yeonjun scolded himself, his chest and sides aching.finally, yeonjun was able to stay asleep.- - "no, you don't get it! i think i'm fucking dying," soobin said to his coworker over the phone."you know me; i love my job, and i never call off unless its important." "i know, soobin, but fuck! we're already shorthanded, and-""if i came, i doubt i'd even be able to work. shit, i might even collapse, i don't know. i'm gonna go to the hospital, this can't be normal. my entire body hurts and all i can do is vomit. whenever i move its like i'm going in slow motion, and i just- i can't come in, okay?""okay, soobin. please get better though, okay? aside from work and everything, it really seems like you're going through hell. take care, bye." they hung up.soobin lowered himself back on to his bed slowly, clutching his head in agony. "fuck..."- "hey, uh, yeonjun?"strained, yeonjun replied, "yes? come in, use the key i gave you. i don't think i can even get up..." hueningkai opened the door hastily. "beomgyu and taehyun are visiting with beomgyu's family so they won't be here for a few days. are you feeling alright? you look like shit," he joked."oh, yeah, i'm fi-" yeonjun stood up quickly, feeling himself about to throw up again. he collapsed as soon as he stood, and he began dragging himself to the bathroom."yeonjun!" hueningkai yelled, picking him up and setting him down in front of the toilet.after vomiting, yeonjun thanked hueningkai. "don't thank me," he replied, feeling his forehead."this really does hurt as bad as they say, huh?" hueningkai muttered.yeonjun looked at him, confused. "what does? and who says?" hueningkai's eyes widened and he glanced to the side, "oh! uhm..headaches. i don't get 'em!" "lucky," yeonjun whined."should you...go to the hospital?" yeonjun laughed, "hell no. look hueningkai, head home, okay? i don't want to give you whatever i have.""oh, no, you can't give it to me, its-" he stopped himself."like...i said.. no headaches! okay, bye!"yeonjun was too exhausted to even make a note of his behavior.- the next morning, yeonjun's condition worsened as soobin's got better. as a week went by, it continued like this; soobin feeling extremely horrible one day and the next day it being yeonjun.I WILL GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT THIShueningkai stayed by yeonjun's side, trying with everything in him to get him to go to the hospital. "no, i won't. i'd rather die." "yeonjun. i know you hate hospitals. but...look. your mom passing in one? it has no connection. hospitals can save lives, they provide-""i said i'm not going!" he yelled. he whimpered, seemingly using all his strength."i just..can't. hueningkai," he whispered. "yes?"tears began to roll down yeonjun's cheeks. "if i really don't make it through this, can you tell soobin i'm sorry?" hueningkai smiled softly. "you'll be fine, yeonjun. don't worry." "can you...take me to him? i barely feel like i can move, its like my body's on fire and my head is being beat in. and my throat...i'm throwing up blood, kai." "yeonjun. we have to go to the hospital, i can't sit here and watch-""please," he pleaded, tears falling at an uncontrollable rate.despite himself, hueningkai agreed. he picked up yeonjun and helped him walk. they used the elevator, and hueningkai drove him to soobin's silently.yeonjun cried the entire drive.-when they arrived, hueningkai got out first, knocking on soobin's door. soobin asked who it was, and when soobin heard hueningkai's voice, he opened the door excitedly. "hyuka?""live an in the flesh!"soobin covered his face. "i've been feeling sick, i don't want to give you anything.""nah, i'll be okay. i've been with yeonjun for over a week now, he's been through hell. he's had a few okay days, but he's mostly been through hell." soobin's face grew worried. "mines been the opposite. most days are okay with mild pain, and some days i feel like i'm going to die." "thats what yeonjun thinks is happening. i've been trying to get him to go to the hospital, but-""he'll never go. his mom, remember? he used to have panic attacks if we ever even drove past it. he'll never go willingly." "i know. i'm just worried.""me, too. where is he? is he okay?" as if on cue, yeonjun stepped out of the car, trying to walk to soobin."soob-" he started, before collapsing.hueningkai and soobin ran to him, pulling him inside. soobin set him on his bed in their previously shared room."yeonjun, are you okay?""soobin," he managed between tears."yeonjun, please, you need to go to the hospital.""not a chance," he laughed nervously."i tried, i can't reason with him. maybe you'll be able to." "hueningkai...""yes?""just soobin." hueningkai furrowed his eyebrows in worry."okay, fine. be safe, okay?"yeonjun shook his head softly."i'll get going." yeonjun fell asleep on the bed, and soobin paced in the kitchen."this is all my fault..."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
- flashback - the day yeonjun actually left. soobin ran to a cliff. it had a border around it to prevent accidents, but soobin often came there to look at scenery.this wasn't a happy visit. it was almost midnight, pouring down rain. yeonjun had made a formal post on instagram, and soobin knew that he was already on the plane to america. a place without him."why? why, universe? what did i do wrong! i was a good child. i always did what i was told. even when they didn't deserve it. i plastered a smile on my face and treated everyone with the utmost respect, even if they treated me like dogshit!" he screamed to the sky."i helped everyone, i did everything i was asked, and i never expected anything in return! i knew to stop doing that long ago, when all i wanted was a family's love. i have never, ever, asked you for anything. i never expected anything from anyone, even after everything," he sobbed."so why me? of all people. we have the worst, most vile people in the world and they get to live lives of luxury and happiness. i got one thing; yeonjun. and i was happy. i was greatful to you, and i never asked for anything other than for it to last. i don't even want anything now, i just..." he layed on the ground. "what did i do wrong? i didn't even ask for him. you brought him to me, and i was so greatful. i was so happy. all i asked was for it to last. so what did i do to make it fail?" he sobbed, whispering the conversation between him and the universe. "please, just kill me. in the most painful way. thats the second and last thing i'll ask of you, fate. make my fate be death from love." - end of flashback - yeonjun awoke, tears flooding his cheeks as he yelled for soobin desperately, sitting up.soobin ran to him and cupped yeonjun's face. "you've been having these headaches, too, haven't you?""what-what are you talking about?""the headaches. migraines. we're slowly rotting away, yeonjun." "what the hell are you talking about?!" "its a disease. when two soulmates aren't together, they begin to die. we're dying, yeonjun."yeonjun paused and sucked in a breath. "stop...doing that. i won't-"he paused mid-sentence, feeling himself about to throw up. he covered his mouth, swallowing as much saliva as he could to prevent it. soobin scoffed. "and you're throwing up blood. yeonjun, listen to me." yeonjun laid on the bed and cried. soobin sat beside him and pulled him into his chest. "i still love you. you know that.""and i still love you, too! why is this still happening?"soobin's eyes widened. "i...don't know. i...fuck." soobin's eyes began to fill with tears. yeonjun laughed. "see? you don't even have it figured out like you act like you do." "i'm sorry. i thought that...""shh, its okay. can we just...spend however much time we have left together?"soobin grabbed yeonjun's hand and squeezed it. "yes, i'd...i'd love that." yeonjun smiled faintly. "lets...go to the cafe.""my job?"yeonjun laughed. "it was our hangout spot before it was your job."soobin laughed in response. "true, true."yeonjun and soobin locked eyes. after a moment, yeonjun spoke, tears flowing. "wha-what are you thinking right now?""that i love you. and you look beautiful.""even though i just vomited blood?"soobin laughed, kissing yeonjun's forehead. "even then."yeonjun laughed faintly and closed his eyes. "so sleepy..."soobin chuckled. "okay, wait. i'll drive you home if you don't want to sleep here."yeonjun didn't move. soobin chuckled nervously and shook his body. "h-hey, hey! get up, yeonjun. c'mon, you can sleep at home."yeonjun still didn't move. "no..no, no, no. yeonjun, get up. now!"soobin shook him repeatedly. he fell back, crying. soobin stared at yeonjun's lifeless body, crying. "this can't be happening..."after a moment, he stood up, lifing yeonjun's body. he carried him to the hospital."please...do something."everything happened in a blur. soobin sat in a chair while nurses and doctors carried yeonjun into another room. he sat with wide eyes, crying. he felt his headache worsening, and ran to the bathroom. he threw up blood, and a sudden clarity hit.flashback"if one of the soulmates chooses to sacrfice themself, the other is guaranteed to survive the disease. however, if one "dies" already, you'll only have one day. the body will be in a lifeless state, but will still be "alive" for a day; almost like a coma. after the time is up, the body will decingrate. the other soulmate will live if they choose to, and the passed soulmate's ashes will be engrained within their soul. when that soulmate's time is up, the two will be together for eternity. and in the chance of reincarnation, the two souls will always, always, be connected to each other." flashback endsoobin stood up and ran outside. he ran as fast as he could, all the way to the cliff he cried on. "you. whoever i yelled to all that time ago. i take it back! i take it all back. please, i don't want yeonjun to die..." the wind shifted, and a figure appeared by him, sitting on the rails. "hueningkai?""thats me.""why..are you here?"he held in a cough."i'm the reason you're here, actually. i'm who you want to speak to." "you're...the person i spoke to?""yes. soobin, i am the god of destiny and fate. i particularly dabble in the business of love's destiny, as it is profound yet rare. but, as i was always among gods, i didn't feel that i had enough understanding of a mortal life to decide the future of mortals, so i'm here. living a mortal life for the first time. its been amazing, if i say so.""that doesn't make sense." hueningkai chuckled. "i'm a god disguised as a human so that i can get an understanding of humans. better?" "oh."soobin hesitated, unsure of what to say. "so did you make what happened to me and yeonjun happen? why would you-""i don't control everything, soobin. i just decide what is meant to be. you two breaking up was all you; i don't change the emotions of people, i add to their stories." soobin doubled over and threw up blood."i'll sacrifice myself," he stated, wiping his face with his sleeve. "for?""yeonjun. that day, after i cried on this hill. i had a dream that told me that if one of us died, the other could live. i am ready to die.""that was a dream, soobin. how are you so sure it could work?"soobin blinked. "i...don't know. but i can't just let him die. and, even if i do die, and he doesn't make it, at least we'll still be tied together after death."hueningkai pulled a small bottle from his pocket. "here. poison. drink even a drop, and you'll die. according to your dream, you'll die and yeonjun will live."soobin blinked slowly. "want me to show you?"hueningkai poured a small bit into his hand and called upon a bunny. the bunny licked it from his hand and fell over, dying almost instantly."will you risk it all and drink this?"a single tear slipped down soobin's cheek. "it could save yeonjun, hueningkai. please give it to me."hueningkai closed the lid and tossed it to soobin.soobin caught the small vile and opened it, drinking the entire thing without hesitation. hueningkai giggled excitedly as he sipped the last bit of it. //soobin stood where he was. his headache began to fade, and he didn't feel nauseous anymore."hueningkai...""you'll both be fine. wake up, gem" the bunny, named gem, sat up quickly and went back to her buisness. soobin was frozen."i thought i was going to die. what about yeonjun?!""he'll be fine. as will you.""how did...""you, soobin. you saved both of you. you demonstrated an act of true love. you were willing to die, just for yeonjun, not even knowing if it would truly work. if that isn't love i don't know what is." hueningkai approached soobin and placed his hands upon his head. "now go, be with your love." he applied a bit of pressure, and the next thing he knew, he was in a hospital room. yeonjun lay on the bed, asleep, but alive.soobin ran up to him and grabbed his hand, crying. he explained everything the just happened, and said 'i love you' to yeonjun over and over.yeonjun let out a laugh, startling a sobbing yeonjun. "i love you too, soobin." soobin smiled and carressed his cheek, kissing his face all over. "okay, soobin? i kinda just died and came back, i need a kiss on the lips, thank you very much.""okay, not funny." soobin said.yeonjun chukled. "i do find myself particularly hilarious." soobin leaned down and pecked his lips, then backing away. yeonjun rolled his eyes, reached up, and pulled soobin back down by the neck. then they shared a true kiss. //soobin, who was on the ground, dying, smiled at the vision he had, tears falling. hueningkai watched him as his life drifted from his body, and he, too, cried."why does it have to be this way," he whispered to himself. he'd seen plenty of people die for their loved ones, knew that some people, few people, would go to any length for the person they loved.yet why did soobin's passing make him feel so...distraught? hueningkai walked up to soobin and checked his pulse. gone.he was still smiling, his eyes closed, a somber expression on his face. hueningkai picked him up and carried him to the hospital, already knowing yeonjun was there.when he got there, nurses tried to grab soobin from his arms, to try to save him. hueningkai avoided them, threatening to put a curse upon them under his breath. he walked into yeonjun's room and set him in a chair, taking his spot next to him. "yeonjun. i know you can hear me now even though you can't move for a while. soobin is dead. you can't save him like he did you."a tear rolled down yeonjun's cheek. hueningkai leaned back in his chair and began to explain everything, starting with explaining that he was a god. he told him about wanting a human experience and thanked him for allowing him to have a good one. he told yeonjun about how distraught soobin was after the breakup, and how he went to the cliff, begging to be killed. yeonjun continued to cry as hueningkai told him, and hueningkai himself had to pause his talking because of how hard he was crying."i know the two of you loved each other to no end. i'm sorry it had to end this way," hueningkai said, wiping his tears.yeonjun sat up, finally being able to move his upper half."so, if i kill myself, he won't wake up?"hueningkai shook his head no. "you were the first to die, yeonjun. soobin sacrificed himself to bring you back. though he can hear and understand us, he cannot come back to life or speak, even if you sacrifice yourself. he made the choice to die for you, you two can't die for each other everyday." yeonjun wiped his tears. "i can't move my legs yet. can...can you bring him to me?" hueningkai nodded solemnly and lifted soobin, laying him across yeonjun's hospital bed. crying, yeonjun spoke to him. "hey, soob! my love...my soulmate," he emphasized. "i never believed in fate like you did, and i'm sorry for that. hueningkai right here is living proof that exists and i couldn't-" he stopped himself, gathering his tears and holding them in."i love you, so much, soobin. i always have. and going to america...i'm sorry. i wanted to stay with you, i wanted to invite you, i just-""he forgave you, yeonjun."yeonjun looked at hueningkai, eyes wide. his lips trembled as he looked back to soobin. "i just want to kiss you. to have you kiss me." yeonjun leaned down and kissed soobin's forehead. "fuck, soobin. you should've just let me die." "you know he'd never do that." a tear rolled down soobin's cheek, and yeonjun wiped it, cupping his face. "i love you soobin."yeonjun looked at hueningkai. "you said, if we die, our souls will be tied together, no?" "its true." yeonjun smiled. "so if i die, right now, me and him will be united, right?" "i...suppose that is true." "will we be able to embrace each other?" "yes. your souls will live as you did, until reincarnation comes." "then i'll die. i'll see soobin and i'll-" soobin gripped yeonjun's arm so hard it left a mark. "don't!" he yelled, eyes wide.he collapsed again, right after. hueningkai stood up in a panic. "thats...never happened before." he ran over to soobin and checked something."you don't have all day with him, yeonjun. the magic, in a sense, keeping him alive for the day is gone. i think he used it to speak to you one last time," hueningkai said, breathless, shocked.yeonjun pulled soobin's body to his, hugging him and sobbing."he said 'don't!' yeonjun. he said don't..""i won't. i won't do it, soob, i promise. i..i want to. god, i want to. but...i won't." yeonjun laughed."some may call it his dying wish.""yeonjun..." "his body will decinigrate soon, no? what should i tell his parents? his...family?""they'll have memories of him dying of natural causes. they'll believe he's alresdy been buried. its written into history, even beomgyu and taehyun believe it has already happened. however you would have responded has been written into history, too."yeonjun nodded, terrified at how powerful this was."and what about me? do i get to remember this?"hueningkai shook his head no. "you aren't allowed to remember my existence as a god, its one of my rules of living as a human. after he dicinigrates, you'll be transferred home. you'll remember his death as everyone else does." yeonjun sobbed even harder. "i don't want to forget. please, hueningkai. i will do a blood pact to remember this and everything, i won't."a tall, pious-looking man stepped into the room, walking with an elegance known to be carried by queens."father," hueninkai said, bowing.yeonjun looked at his father, blinking, wiping his tears.hueningkai's father looked at soobin's lifeless body. "love is such a beautiful yef tragic thing," he said, sorrow lacing his tone."i cannot bring him back. however, i will grant you your wish. you can remember. however," he said, looking to hueningkai."you have to take an oath. if that oath is ever broken, my power will kill you in an instant. do you understand, young man?" "i do, sir. i don't want to forget what really happened.""fine, then. it is granted." yeonjun felt a surge in his chest that seemed to follow along his entire body. "that is part of my power. it will carry with you until you die. should you break the oath, it will kill you, as i said." yeonjun nodded. hueningkai's father turned to hueningkai and pulled him into a big embrace. "i have missed you, my son." "i missed you too, father. how has mom been? and the rest of the family?" "they're doing well. your sister has requested to become mortal. i'm thinking about granting it to her." "how long as she wanted to be mortal?" "her whole life, she says." "when we were only a few centuries old, she's talk about feeling bored in living lives over and over. she just wanted a calm life." his father nodded solemnly. "i will grant it to her. she will visit you, more likely than not." hueningkai chuckled. "thank you, sir," yeonjun said, wiping his tears."thank me not. it is my son's love for you that has caused me to do this favor." hueningkai's eyes widened. "not...like that. gods have different levels of love, not just platonic and romantic. my sense of love for you is one of trust and comfort, referred to as philia, with storge. what you had with soobin..." hueningkai's father looked at him. "that, my dear, is agape."