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“When are you coming to see us? You’ve been back a week and a half and we have seen you once,” my best friends took turns whining into the phone. “Well, right now I am doing important sister stuff. This is not the best time,” I grumbled at the men as I dug through my purse to find my keys. “I have to get Connor enrolled in school today and then we are going to visit Clara in the hospital. Ah, there they are!” I held the keys triumphantly in the air. Honey commented, “Kyun has been pouting non-stop. You need to go see him soon.” “I will, I promise. But right now, I have to go. Text me the address and I will try to come to see you guys play this weekend. Love you both!” I hung up after we blew kisses to each other. I called out to Connor as I almost ran up the stairs. He was in his room with Mom, looking very handsome and much older than his 6 years. He was smiling from ear to ear, excited about meeting his new teacher, who happened to be a friend of a friend... or several friends, actually. “He is all ready to go. Such a handsome little man, you are,” she lilted in her Irish brogue while straightening his collar. Dad shuffled into the room and gave Connor a wink. “Come on buddy, let’s do this!” He giggled and gave me a tiny high five. He hugged my parents and took my hand as we headed to the car. We pulled into the school parking lot and I took a deep breath as I put the car in park. I could speak in front of clients and give presentations without fear, but I was nervous as hell at that moment, for some reason. I got out and opened the door for my nephew. He was experienced at unbuckling his seatbelt and booster seat, so he was ready to get out. He smiled at me and told me it would be okay. I laughed and squeezed his hand. He was 6, going on 30. The clicking of my heels and squeaking of his sneakers echoed in the hallway as we made our way to his new teacher’s office. It was summer so there were no students to fill the empty halls. We reached the student art-adorned door and I noted it was partially open, but dark inside. I could hear music playing softly, so I knew someone was around. I smoothed my blouse and looked down at Connor. He was still smiling. I knocked softly on the door and tried to peer inside as a man’s raspy voice said to come in. The lights were off, but the light from the window was bright. I saw his silhouette first as my eyes adjusted. “I am sorry about the lights. I like to leave them off when I can. They make my eyes hurt.” A soft light flickered to life on the desk as he turned on a lamp. I felt my breath catch as the most handsome man I had ever seen leaned back in his chair and crossed his long legs. His very long, slim legs. His hair was bleached to a soft warm blond color, which made his eyes stand out even more. The color suited his skin tone. He was Korean, just like our mutual friends. I was thankful for the dim lighting as I hoped it had prevented him from catching me ogling him. I thought I caught a hint of a smirk on his beautiful lips and realized I was licking my own. I snapped myself back and introduced myself. “I am Hannah Song and I believe you may know Connor? We are your 10:30.” The handsome man leaned forward and then stood. I felt the room tilt… did I just swoon? He introduced himself as Edward Lee and shook my hand. Did he linger when our hands touched? Was there a long glance and a smile as he held it? My imagination could be vivid at times, so I dismissed it. He crouched down and said hello to Connor. He shook his hand just as he had mine and I noticed how he focused on the boy and made him feel comfortable. It was obvious that he loved children. He stood and smiled and I suddenly couldn’t breathe. He gestured to the leather sofa on the opposite wall from his desk. His voice was breathy and sexy as he spoke and I found it hard to concentrate. He asked us to have a seat. “Connor, you and I have never really been introduced before. I’ve heard all about you though. I guess you are excited to start school?” he commented as he leaned forward, engaging my nephew. I received a text message and quickly checked my phone while the men spoke. “Yes!” Connor exclaimed as he bounced with his tiny hands clenched in front of his chest. We laughed because he was so adorable. Mr. Lee asked Connor a few questions and then he turned his attention to me. I guiltily dropped my phone to my side and he smirked. “Sorry, someone has bad timing. He was supposed to do that an hour ago.” He nodded. Kyun had finally texted me the address for their band practice. I caught the hint of an eyebrow raise when I said “he”. “Changkyun told me that you are Clara’s sister and that she is having major surgery. It says here that you have responsibility for Connor until she recovers. Is she doing OK?” My text notification sounded again and I pushed the phone under my thigh. He watched the movement and his eyes lingered longer than they probably should have. I felt flushed suddenly. “It is ok, it is not a secret. She is recovering from heart surgery and yes, I will be responsible for him while she is recovering.” His look of concern made my heart melt a bit. “Did she have a heart attack?” “No, but she probably would have if she hadn’t had the surgery. The doctor said one artery was 95% blocked, and another was 85%. The other two were clear. I am staying with my parents to help care for her and for Connor. They expect her to be back on her feet in 6-8 weeks.” He nodded and I saw his shoulders relax a bit. He raked his slender fingers through his hair, briefly exposing his forehead. His eyes caught mine again. I felt my breath catch and covered by clearing my throat. “If I am out of line, I apologize, but may I ask you something?” He leaned forward again, and his voice became softer. I was intrigued by his question and cautiously answered yes. I was also trying to find air to fill my lungs. “I’ve met Clara and now seeing you, I am more curious. Is Connor’s father Korean or is he adopted? Because you are clearly not Korean but I have heard Clara speak the language fluently.” The smirk appeared again. I laughed and coyly twisted my strawberry blonde locks in my fingers. “Clara and I are Irish American. Our step-father is Korean, and so is Connor’s father.” He seemed fascinated by this and had leaned in closer to me as we spoke. I continued, “he raised us since Clara was 5 and I was 3. It was an interesting childhood.” Mr. Lee was quiet for a moment, as if he were thinking of what to say next. “Do you and your sister observe any Korean traditions?” “We do, as well as Irish ones. Our family has even created a few of our own over the years.” Connor was absorbed by the anime action figures on the shelf behind Mr. Lee. He exclaimed when he spotted a certain yellow character. We both looked to him to see what he was doing. He didn’t touch the figure, but instead traced the air around it as if he were petting it. Mr. Lee turned back to me with that deadly smile. His eyes were dark brown, like espresso, but when the light hit them just right, they softened and became like liquid gold. It was hard to not stare into them. After a few minutes, he went over the rules and the particulars of enrollment. Then he took us on a short tour of the elementary wing, which included classrooms, cafeteria, gymnasium, and playground. All were sized for the smaller stature of grades K-6.I was impressed with the campus and the grounds. It was a private school, covering K-12. They were split into elementary, middle, and high school wings. This kept the students more comfortable with their own age groups. Connor had attended Kindergarten at a public school. He was bullied there for being too smart, too different, too straight-laced, and either too Asian or not Asian enough. He followed the rules and expected his classmates to as well. He wears ties… on purpose. He just didn’t fit in with the other kids in his class.My best friend, Changkyun, was a teacher in the high school wing of the school and also friends with Mr. Lee, so I felt comfortable enrolling Connor there. He had pulled a string or two to get us late enrollment. We went back to the office where I signed the papers and wrote the tuition check, figuratively.It was actually my debit card, and Clara had already transferred the money to me. When he handed me back the card, our fingers touched and our eyes met. I felt something, but it was gone in a flash. Or maybe it was my imagination again. I had been without a man too long and he was incredibly handsome. Yes, that was it. I was just horny. We stopped by the house and picked up Mom and Dad so that we could go visit Clara. Her surgery 3 days ago had gone well, but she would be in the hospital until she was strong enough to come home. Although we could have gone in together, we decided that during the first week we would take turns. It might be overwhelming to have that many people in at once. We also kept the visits short so that we didn’t tire her out too much.We let mom go first. She took Connor along because he was underage and could not go alone. Then Dad had his turn. Connor also tagged along with him. When it was my turn, I went in alone. I noticed that she looked much better than she had the day before. She was getting some color back in her face and it didn’t look as drawn. She smiled when she saw me and held her hand for me to come to the bed. “How do you feel today? You look much better.” “I feel a little better. It still hurts like crazy, but they are keeping me pumped full of painkillers. I still feel the pressure though. And if I move, the painkillers are useless.” I squeezed her hand, “I feel like my chest was ripped open. Oh wait, it was!” I laughed and she tried to, but it hurt too much. “How did it go with school today?” “It was great. I think he will really like it there. His teacher seems really nice.” She tilted her head and grinned a little. “What? What is it?” I asked suspiciously. “His teacher is ‘nice’,” she repeated. “Yes, he seems nice.” I could feel the heat flooding my face. Clara could always see right through me. “And nice looking, I suppose.”I gave in with a sigh, “you just have no idea. He is gorgeous. And Korean to boot.” She laughed and clenched her chest. “Oh that hurts, but I just have to do it,” she made herself laugh quietly and I stopped holding back and joined her.“But he said he has met you. He is a friend of Changkyun’s and Hyungwon’s.”“What is his name?”“Edward Lee.”“Hmm, doesn’t ring any bells. I am sure I will know him when I see him, if he is that gorgeous,” she winked. While we visited, she told me that Kyun and Honey had come to visit that morning and brought flowers. Roses to be precise. She pointed to a bouquet of the most beautiful purple roses I had ever seen. I buried my face in them and inhaled the fragrance. I thought to myself, this must be what heaven smells like. We stopped to eat lunch on the way home and then got ice cream at Connor’s request. Even though we had just eaten, Mom was already thinking about the potroast she had in the slow cooker for dinner. She told me to bring Kyun and Honey over to eat. All day, thoughts of the handsome Edward Lee never strayed far from my mind. As soon as we got home, I headed downstairs to take a cold shower. I had never encountered anyone like that man. Never in my 30-something years had I felt that kind of electricity from any man. Instead of showering, I changed into my workout clothes and rolled out my yoga mat. I would shower after some stretching. I stretched and breathed, trying to focus and clear my mind. It was pointless. I could not get him off my mind. I fell back onto the mat and stared up at the ceiling. A loud sigh escaped my lips and I dropped my arm across my eyes. I gave up and went to shower.After I was clean and dried off, I remembered the many texts that Kyun had sent during my meeting. I picked up my phone and read through the remaining ones. Practice is at 3 on Saturday Can you come early? I have missed hanging out You have been away too long Why aren’t you responding? What are you doing? Oh yeah! You are meeting the school. Sorry! I laughed to myself as I could hear the whining in my head. I replied, I will be there, maybe early but at least by 3 I have missed you too Connor is enrolled now Edward Lee is his teacher Mom says to come for dinner, so grab Honey and be here by 6 He replied almost immediately that they would be there. I finished getting ready and went to meet a new potential client who wanted to plan her grandparents’ 50th anniversary party. While I was in town, I might as well make some money. I had gone on hiatus back in LA and I had sublet my apartment for 2 months. I swung by the liquor store on the way home and picked up a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of wine, a six pack of beer, and a bouquet of flowers from the florist down the street. Mom loved to have fresh flowers on the table when we had company, and Kyun and Dad loved to sip whiskey together. The beer was for Honey, and Mom and I would have the wine. While we got ready for dinner, we listened to Connor talk about how excited he was to start “big boy school”, as he called it. Kindergarten didn’t count. That was for babies. He also went on and on about his new teacher. I felt my cheeks flush and mom noticed. Clara had inherited that gift from Mom. Of course she had to comment. “Is he that handsome?” “Is who handsome?” I feigned ignorance. She winked and laughed, then turned back to the salad she was making. “Connor, what does your teacher look like?” she shot me a sideways look and grin. Evil wench. “He looks like Papa!” the little boy lit up. “Ah, so he is handsome.” “Who is handsome?” Dad asked as he came into the room. Connor ran to him and Dad scooped him up. “You are handsome, Papa.” Dad came into the kitchen with Connor in tow and kissed us each on the cheek. Dinner was chaotic with the guys being there. They were very respectful to my parents, but they would tell stories and jokes that made my mom giggle non-stop. Connor adored his uncles, so he was right in the middle of it. It was Friday night, so no one had to get up early, but Connor’s bedtime was 8 o’clock. Papa tucked him in and told him a story, then came back to find three of the four of us in a huddle on the floor. Mom was waving her arms as she refereed the match. Dad gave us a questioning look, but knew better than to ask. Instead, he just shook his head and sat down. We all refilled our glasses and sat down to have a civilized conversation. It was time to be quiet so the kid could go to sleep. While I had been away, Kyun, Honey, and Hyungwon had been coming over every few days to eat and visit with my family. Shownu and Kihyun came as often as they could. They were like the brothers we never had. My parents adored them and occasionally would suggest that we sisters marry them. We eventually gave up and just said OK, someday. We knew that would never happen. None of us had those types of feelings. Back in college? Maybe. But not anymore. When Changkyun and I met, he was Dany then, we hit it off immediately. We became close friends, study mates, and confidants. We decided to date. Since we knew each other so well, we thought we would skip to the good part right away, so we made out on our first date. It started off hot enough, but it didn’t take long before we realized there was no spark. Nothing. For either of us. We were disappointed, but were able to remain best friends from then on. I never had any romantic feelings for Honey, but I loved him just as much as I loved Clara and Changkyun. Clara had not told Mom, but she had been sort of dating a coworker for a few months. It wasn’t really serious in the beginning, but had started getting that way. She just wasn’t ready to tell her. Based on some things mom had said, I think she already knew. Mom had this amazing intuition that rarely failed her. Dad was the first to say goodnight. Mom stayed up for another hour and laughed with us. We had gone downstairs to the basement by this time. We didn’t want to wake anyone. The guys loved listening to Mom’s Irish brogue. It wasn’t as pronounced as it once was until she got mad, and now there was a bit of a southern drawl mixed in. They especially loved it when she spoke Korean. I was still on LA time, so it felt 3 hours earlier to me than it actually was. The guys were used to staying up late so the three of us were still going strong at 2AM. We had been drinking quite a bit, so they decided to sleep over. I quietly padded upstairs and brought down blankets and pillows. They had filled the air mattress by the time I got back. We still weren’t particularly sleepy, so they pulled me in between them and we started watching a movie. The next thing I knew, the sun was in my eyes and I was so hot I couldn’t breathe. It was no wonder, because Kyun was snuggled up behind me with his arms around me, and I was face-to-face with Honey. His leg and his arm were thrown across both me and Kyun. I was trapped. Happily. We had spent many a night this way during our college years. I heard shuffling and giggling, and the next thing I knew, Connor was crawling in on top of us. He nestled in between me and Honey, causing a whine to emit from those pouty lips. Kyun spooned in even closer and Connor made himself comfortable. We all fell back to sleep.
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----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Bleary eyed, I scowled at the men across the table from me. I hadn’t binged like that in a very long time. I was out of practice. Mom sat a bowl of Korean hangover soup in front of me. Loudly. On purpose. I knew it was on purpose because she giggled when she did it. I winced in pain.Changkyun and Honey looked fine and they thanked Mom for the soup as they dug in. How were they this chipper after last night? I mumbled something unpleasant and dipped my spoon into the delicacy before me. The scalding hot liquid quivered on my spoon and I blew hesitantly on it as my stomach protested the idea of food of any kind. I closed my eyes and let the soup slide down my throat. It was hot, but delicious. I felt it begin to coat my insides and took another spoonful.Halfway into the bowl I finally began to feel more human. I had already drunk what felt like was a gallon of water, but I turned to get more. Mom appeared and motioned for me to stay seated. She refilled my glass and stroked my head. I had missed her so much.Kyun looked at me from the other side of the table and cocked his head slightly. He asked, “where is my Merida?” He used the nickname he had given me in college. My hair was brighter red and curly then.“What do you mean? I am right here.”“No, Hannah is here. You left Merida somewhere.”“I wear my hair straight now. It is more professional.”“It makes you look older. And more serious. I miss my wild-haired Irish girl.”“She is still in here. She just has a career now. And straight hair,” I deadpanned my response. I wasn’t in the mood for his shenanigans.“Eomma, what happened to our girl?” he complained to mom.“I think she grew up without us, Kyunnie.”He looked back at me with narrowed eyes, “I don’t like it.” He looked me straight in the eyes as he said it, then took another spoon of soup. We were in a staring contest now. I knew the stakes. If I broke eye contact, I had to let my hair go curly. If he lost, I kept it straight. It was a game we had started playing years ago. The consequences could be disturbing or hilarious, depending on how drunk we were.Connor came bounding into the room and wrapped his arms around my waist, saying good morning. Hard as I tried not too, I broke eye contact. Kyun raised his arms triumphantly. “Winner!”“Not fair! I call interference!” I protested.“You know the rules. Interference has to involve blue lights and sirens, or blood.”My shoulders dropped. “Fine. But only when I am around you.” Connor climbed into the chair beside me and mom sat his breakfast in front of him. He got pancakes. I wrinkled my nose at him. He grinned.“Like at band practice today at 4?”“Fine. Today,” I grumbled. Honey was minding his own business, snickering into his soup. “What’s your problem?” I elbowed him in the ribs.“Yah! That hurt! I was not doing anything. Why are you being mean to me?” he pouted. Mom came to comfort him.“Hannah, don’t hurt my son. He didn’t deserve it,” she pulled his head to her abdomen and stroked his hair while sticking her tongue out at me. He closed his eyes and pushed into it, content. Mom had claimed the pair as her sons.“I am your daughter. Your actual daughter. I’ve not been home in 2 years,” I pointed my spoon at the men. “You just love them more,” I shook my head and sighed heavily. Anyone observing this interaction without context would assume there was something going on. In reality, it was just my prankster mother messing with us all.“And who’s fault is it that my baby girl has not been home in two years?” she turned and put a hand on her hip. “Ya can’t expect yer old mum to fly to California, can ya now.” She spat out the word like it tasted bad, her Irish showing through strongly.They had almost kicked me out the door to take the job in LA, but then gave me a hard time because I could rarely come home to visit. They hated flying and they hated California. Mom was afraid there would be an earthquake while they were there. When I was feeling brave, and maybe a little stupid, I reminded her that Atlanta was next to a fault line, and we had actually experienced earthquakes when I was growing up. I was lucky to be alive after comments like those.Dad came into the room, cellphone to his ear. “Well, I hope he is OK. Please let me know if you find someone to watch him.” He finished his call and wiped his face with his hand in frustration.“Who was that?” Mom asked.“That was Charlie. His daughter is sick and his wife is out of town with her parents. He doesn’t have anyone who can watch Emily. He was supposed to help me today with the party. It is a small one, but it is still at least a two person job.”“What about Michelle?” Mom mentioned his other employee.“She is on vacation this week. Looks like I am on my own.”“Dad, I can help you. It will be fun working together again.”“Are you sure? I know you have plans with the boys today.”“Hey, what about practice? You promised!” Kyun pouted. I stuck my tongue out at him, happy that I now didn’t have to change my hair that day.“I will come later. Dad needs me.”Dad said, “OK, but I do the cooking. You can do the set up.” He grinned. I couldn’t cook. At all. Didn’t matter how much he had tried to teach me, it just wasn’t my thing. Plus, I really hated it.“Deal!” I grinned back. Kyun crossed his arms and lowered his chin in a very pronounced pout. Honey laughed.Dad was an amazing “chef”. He didn’t have a culinary degree, but everything he made was 5 star quality. That is one of the reasons he was able to leave his 30+ year career as an attorney and start a successful catering business, just a few years before he was set to retire.When he first started, it was just the three of us, Clara, me, and him. Mom helped on the weekends when she could, but she was still working as a paralegal. She kept a steady income and insurance for us while he got established. It didn’t take long.When Clara started college, he hired a part-timer to fill in. He soon became full-time. Then when I started college, I cut my hours back to part-time at first, then I had to focus on my studies fully. He hired a second employee. Those 2 employees were still with him, Charlie and Michelle. When he had large events and needed servers and such, he brought in trained staff from an agency.It was because of him that I decided to become an event planner. I started out doing trade shows at a large company in Atlanta right out of college, then I was offered a position in LA, where I eventually decided to start my own business two years ago. I did lots of weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, and birthdays in the beginning, but then I started doing album release parties, movie premiers, and all kinds of celebrity oriented things. They liked me because I clearly wasn’t impressed with their status or fame. I just wanted to do the best job I possibly could.When Clara told me she had to have heart surgery, I did not hesitate to tell her I would come home for a while to help. I cleared my calendar for 3 months and sublet my apartment to a friend. She was having her kitchen remodeled so it worked out. She got a place to stay and I got someone to watch my stuff. I only anticipated being gone for 2 months, but I gave it a little buffer just in case.I was using Clara’s SUV. I liked how high I sat up off the road and how much room it had. In LA, I had a tiny compact car. I always felt like someone was going to roll over me or squash me. People drive like absolute lunatics. I was always nervous when I drove. I tried to take public transportation or Uber when I could, even though my Mom didn’t like me using them. Atlanta had its share of crazies, but they weren’t as bad. At least not to me.I stood and walked around behind Kyun’s chair. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my chin on his shoulder. He smelled good. Even first thing in the morning. Even after drinking all night. He held my arms and leaned his head against mine. Honey joined on the other side. Connor giggled at us as he shoveled pancakes into his mouth.“I am sorry, babe. I need to help my dad. You would do the same thing,” I said softly in his ear, then kissed his cheek.“I know, but that doesn’t make me like it any more. Will you come by after you are done? We might still be going.”“Sure, I will come by,” I promised. I patted his arm as I pulled away and went to shower. We had to go visit Clara first. “Still straightening my hair today though!” I called as soon as I was out of arm’s reach. Dad had already done most of the cooking and prep for his event that night. It was an intimate family gathering, someone’s birthday. He made a gorgeous cake and lots of delicious looking hors d'oeuvres. While he finished up the dishes, I gathered the serving utensils, plates, decorations, and the like. We filled up the serving trays, placing the treats just so.Once it was all ready and covered, we loaded it into the van and then went to change. Thankfully, he had Michelle’s spare uniform and we were close enough to the same size that I could wear it. I had to wear my sneakers, but that was OK. My hair was in a bun since we were preparing and serving food. I had done basic and natural-looking makeup. That was also OK because I was just going to Kyun’s afterward.We didn’t really have to do much more than setup the food and decorations. It only took a little over an hour. We would go back the next morning and pick everything up. We got home a little after 7. I changed into shorts and a loose t-shirt. It was late July in Atlanta. It was hot and humid. I let my hair out of the bun, but left it in a ponytail. I slipped my feet into some sandals and grabbed my purse and phone. On the way out, I hugged Connor and Mom and headed to see the boys.The address Kyun had sent was for the school, which was only about 15 minutes away. I parked at 7:34. My stomach started growling and it was then that I realized I forgot to eat. I sighed and hoped they had snacks… if they were even still here playing.I texted Kyun that I had arrived so he could let me in. They had to keep the doors locked after hours. He met me at the band room entrance and greeted me with a hug.“We finished practice, but everyone is still here. Except Minhyuk. He went to pick up food for us. I figured you would be hungry and wouldn’t stop to eat before you left.”“You are going to be an amazing boyfriend some day,” I said as I kissed his cheek. I pulled back with my hand on his arm, “but only if I approve of her.” He grinned.“Of course. Same goes from this side,” he winked.“So Minhyuk is the sax playing guitarist who started playing with you guys, right?”“Yep, he’s really good too. Wonnie has known him since college. You know everyone else. I do want to play a new song for you tonight, one that I wrote.”“Oh yay! I love your music. It is so sexy and moody. Just like you,” I blew him a kiss and he smiled shyly. We walked hand-in-hand down the short hallway and the others called out to me when I got to the room. They all ran to greet me.“Noona!” they exclaimed. Hugs happened… lots of bear hugs. Wonho spun me around like I was a doll. He had gotten huge since I left. He was a little scrawny but toned when we first met, but he had kept on working out and built his body.When he put me down I stepped back and stared at him. “Wow, HoHo. You look amazing and sexy as hell!” I shook my head and bit my lip. “Oof!” He blushed and laughed, suddenly shy. The others started flexing their muscles to get my attention. I looked to Hyungwon and had a similar moment. “What have you guys been doing since I left?” I felt his arm and feigned a swoon like in an old movie. He caught me and fanned my face. More laughter.We sat on the sofa and chairs, but Kyun pulled me to sit on his lap before my butt could touch the fabric. He wrapped his arms around me, possessively. Honey scooted closer so he could hold my hand. I had missed them so much. I didn’t want to say anything to the family, but I hated living in LA. I missed my family and I missed home. But I had made the choice to live there, so I was going to see it through.We heard the outer door open and knew the food had arrived. They already had a table set up on the other side of the room. They were talking to the missing member, but I could not see him from where I was sitting. I heard containers and bags rusting and then Wonho said, “come meet Noona”.Kyun was saying something and I was looking at him when HoHo got my attention to turn. My breath caught in my chest as he stood before me, the man that had been on my mind for the past 36 hours. Edward Lee. I was flustered. Kyun had said his name was Minhyuk. My brain froze and I wasn’t sure whether to call him Edward or Minhyuk.He smiled politely and introduced himself again, this time as Lee Minhyuk. He must have sensed my confusion because he said, “I guess Dany didn’t tell you my Korean name is Minhyuk.” He was a bit more formal tonight than he had been when Connor and I met him. I had thought maybe he liked me, but now I wasn’t so sure. My intuition was failing me.We ate together and laughed, they started off telling me stories of things I had missed. Soon we began to recount things from our college days that Edward… I mean Minhyuk had not been a part of. He seemed to enjoy the tales.He and Hyungwon relayed some of their own. They had met in college in Korea. Minhyuk said he had been an exchange student here in high school and loved it. He decided to move here after graduation.Kyun reminded me that he wanted to do his song for me. They each took their places and I sat in front like an obsessed groupie… or fangirl... whichever. Changkyun was the lead guitarist. It suited him well, broody and dark at times, then bright and smiling the next. Honey was the drummer.Wonho was on bass guitar, Hyungwon was percussion and sound mixing, and then there was Shownu on rhythm guitar, and Kihyun on lead vocals and keys. He was considered to be the main vocalist but all the members shared vocals. They took turns with the lines usually, but sometimes they did backing vocals with one or two main. I had met Shownu and Kihyun senior year. They quickly became part of our inner circle and 2 more brothers. Hyungwon had worked with my sister for many years and he just fit with our family.That just left Minhyuk. He was the only one I did not really know. But I wanted to. Looking at him was like looking at the sun. He was so bright and warm. He was a bit loud, but very funny, energetic, and ‘touchy’… as in he liked to touch people. I understood why Connor liked him so much. Once again, I sat mesmerized.The song was amazing. Minhyuk played acoustic guitar on this one instead of saxophone. It was a soulful and moody song with a nice beat. It was not a ballad, but more of the slow groove style. The lyrics were sexy and a bit racy, and it was 100% Kyun. I stood and clapped and cheered when they finished. They took a bow. I told Kyun how much I loved it. I told him exactly what I loved about it and the things I wasn’t crazy about. He nodded and said he knew I wouldn’t like those things then laughed. Minhyuk looked shocked that I would be that honest.“It is OK. I trust her opinion and she knows better than to not tell me stuff,” he said to the sexy blond man. Minhyuk relaxed and smiled. I melted.“Good. We need someone around like that. I appreciate honesty. I hate it when people try to just go along. I would rather they speak their mind. I certainly speak mine.” I smiled at him.“I don’t have the patience to beat around the bush. It wastes time and ends up with hurt feelings and misunderstandings. I know how to be tactful, but I am going to say what I think.” I saw a glimmer in his eyes and his smile changed a little. It got sexier.They packed up and straightened up the room. I cleared the food and cleaned the table while they did all that. Hyungwon suggested we go for coffee. I said I could go for some cheesecake. Minhyuk smiled and said he loves cheesecake too. That made me happy for some reason.We piled into 2 cars and headed to Hansel and Gretel bakery. They were out of cheesecake, so I had a piece of cream bread. Not quite the same, but still kinda filled the texture quotient. I was sandwiched between Kyun and Honey, as usual, but my eyes kept finding Minhyuk. Edward. Minhyuk. Whichever. He was handsome by either name.Several times I caught him looking at me with an odd expression that I could not make out. It made me a little uncomfortable. Not because it was weird, but because of the mixed signals I had been feeling all night. It was exhausting. So much for speaking one’s mind, I suppose. When I got home, I tried my yoga again. I was a little more successful this time than last. I went to shower. I leaned my head against the tile and breathed deep, letting the steam cleanse my lungs and my mind. Well, my lungs at least. My mind was a jumble. Why was I like this? What was it about him? I could not get him off my mind, and after tonight I was even more confused.It was like he was afraid to approach me or something. I was sure I had felt some kind of mutual attraction, but I reminded myself that it was probably my imagination. I needed to let it go and move on.I curled up on the couch with a book and tried to read. I wasn’t sleepy because my body had not adjusted to the time difference yet. I got halfway through the chapter and gave up. I turned on the TV to some mindless comedy show and never even heard the first word they said. I started a movie on Netflix. I chose what I thought was a thriller, but it turned out to be soft porn with a thriller base. It made things worse and I turned it off.I went upstairs to make myself some chamomile tea. I saw a dim light on in the living room and went over to see. Mom was still up, reading in her favorite chair.“Is my baby having a hard time adjusting to the time difference?” she said softly as she laid her book down.“Yes, and I can’t shut off my brain,” I sat cross-legged in front of her chair and she took my hand.“He really has you stirred up, doesn’t he?” My eyes grew large and there was no way out of her gaze. My shoulders slumped as I admitted it to myself and to her.“Yes mommy. I just met him. I haven’t even had a real conversation with him. How does it even make sense?”“Love doesn’t make sense sometimes. Neither does lust. I don’t know which one it is, but they can both mess you up.” I nodded and laid my head against her robed legs.“It isn’t fair.”“It never is, Creena.” Creena meant ‘my heart’. It was the nickname she had called me since I was a baby. We talked for a long time, about the man, about LA, about everything. It was the first time I had gotten to spend with her like this in what felt like forever.It helped a lot because I was able to finally go to sleep when I laid down. Even though I slept, I didn’t sleep well. My dreams were full of him. Nothing significant that I could remember. Just him. Running through my head all night. It was a fitful night after all.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I spent the next week just relaxing and playing with mom. We went shopping, we got mani pedis, went to the Korean spa, visited Clara every day, and just enjoyed spending time together. I went to see the guys a couple of times too. Kyun convinced me to go to the gym with them one afternoon. It was fun working out with 6 trainers. Minhyuk came along, but he did his own thing. It was clear he wasn’t a regular. I had to force myself not to watch him. At times, he would be silly and I had to watch him. He made me laugh. A lot. It was hard not to be drawn to him. I was very confused by the way he acted. At times I thought he was sneaking glances and sometimes he was distant and just polite. I was not usually forward when it came to men, but I was not shy either. I was about to flirt with him to gage his reaction, but then I remembered Connor. It was like a light-bulb moment. That must be why he was acting the way he was. He was trying to be professional since my nephew was going to be in his class. It would probably be awkward for him, and for Connor if the other kids knew. I respected him for that. I resigned myself to just looking, and enjoying the view. Besides, I was going back to LA soon. No need to start something. And speaking of the view, as I was sneaking glances I happened to catch him lift his shirt to wipe his face. He was toned and had a very nicely defined set of abs. They disappeared into his shorts with a faint ‘happy trail’. I found myself wishing the shorts to fall. Kyun called my name and pulled me back from my fantasy. He winked at me. I knew that he knew what was going through my head. I felt my cheeks flush. The guys led me to a private room which looked like it was for classes. They put a K-pop music video up on the giant screen. It was obvious they knew the choreography when they started following the moves. Shownu and Hyungwon came to teach me the dance. They worked with me for a few minutes and then I got the hang of it. At least enough to enjoy myself. It reminded me of Zumba, only much more fun. After our workout, we went to get smoothies. We talked and laughed for over an hour. Minhyuk and I really hit it off. I kept the barrier up though. I wanted to respect his boundaries. But that didn’t make me like him any less. He was magnetic. His personality was dynamic and I just wanted to be close to him. And his smile. Oh my, his smile lit up the room. He mentioned a school open house that was happening the next week and asked me to bring Connor. He said we could meet all the other teachers and staff, and get the full tour of the campus. He promised it would be fun. I told him we would be there. I felt a little giddy, even though it wasn’t a date. He had not asked me on a date. I had to remind myself of that a few times. I don’t typically get flustered easily. I can handle pressure, last minute changes, and sudden disasters when I am doing an event. I take them all in stride. I step back, examine the situation, and make a decision to stop to or adjust accordingly. This is how I have been able to be successful in my business. But this man had me flustered. Just the simple act of him inviting me to a school open house had butterflies all up in my tummy. Kyun said, “ah hyung! I forgot about that! I told Dean Whitlock that I would help out. I am glad you reminded me.” In private, they reverted back to honorifics, but in public they adopted American customs and manners. I thought it was cute how they interacted. “So you will be there when Connor comes? He will love that,” I squeezed his hand on the table. Kyun turned his hand over and held mine. I noticed Minhyuk’s quick glance away. “I will love that too. That is one special boy.” He turned to Minhyuk and added, “you will love having him in your class. He is incredibly smart and you guys will have a lot in common too.” He grinned. “I am looking forward to it. He’s always seemed like a sharp boy, even though I have only met him in passing before now.” He smiled at me and then looked away, as if he didn’t want our eyes to meet. I felt a little awkward suddenly. I excused myself to the ladies room. I had a talk with Hannah in the mirror.Hannah Song. You need to stop. You can’t have him. He is off limits. He set the rules. No, he didn’t discuss them with you, but he set them. You control everything else, so get a grip on this. I took a deep breath and washed my hands. When I returned, they were laughing at something, then got quiet when I came back. “What are you guys up to? Did it involve me?” I asked suspiciously. “Well…” Wonho started to answer, but Hyungwon slapped his arm. They laughed again. “Come on guys. You know better than to keep secrets from me. You know I will find out… eventually.” “Eventually, maybe. But not today, Noona,” Kyun replied with a wink and a slightly evil smile. Minhyuk looked at me with a smoldering half smile that made my insides turn to jelly. I quickly regained my composure. I huffed and crossed my arms. “Challenge accepted.” I said, eyes locked with Changkyun. It wasn’t eye contact time, it was tickling time. I stood and stretched my fingers. I saw fear in Wonho’s and Hyungwon’s eyes. They were never able to withstand tickle torture, therefore they were always my first targets. I walked around the table slowly and watched as the pair pulled as close together as they could, each trying to protect their bodies from the impending onslaught. Before I even touched Wonho, he was begging me to stop. Just as I touched the fabric of his shirt, the door opened and a group of loud teenage girls came in. The moment was lost and so was our privacy. We had been the only ones in the cafe until they showed up. Wonho moved quickly out of my reach, relieved to be out of harm’s way. I flexed my hands in his face and tilted my head, “sleep with one eye open.” I winked and he giggled.“I am not ticklish,” Minhyuk commented. “You would not have been able to get anything out of me.” “Oh really?” I asked. “Are you that confident?” I got excited about the prospect of touching him. I held up my small hand and moved my fingers in a wave pattern. “These have never let me down. I am sure you have at least one sensitive spot.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to suck them back in. I hadn’t meant it that way, or maybe I did. My cheeks turned as red as poppies and I stumbled over my words, “um, I… um”. The laughter from our table caught the attention of the teens because we had gotten louder than they were. “His feet,” Changkyun threw me a lifeline. “His feet are ticklish.” Minhyuk’s expression was adorably embarrassed. And his face was bright red as mine. “Well aren’t you two a pair with your matching cheeks,” he laughed even harder, and I blushed even more. I sat down and picked up my drink with both hands, trying to hide behind it. I involuntarily looked at Minhyuk and he quickly smiled at me, a sexy little sideways smile, then turned back to Changkyun. I felt hot inside. I still wanted to know what they had been talking about, but I could wait. I looked over to Wonho. He shook his head indicating ‘no’, but I just winked at him. He looked a little nervous as he turned back to the conversation. He would spill it. I had no doubt. He was definitely good at keeping real secrets, but things like this I could get out of him. I just needed to wait until the time was right. And that time was not now. Mom texted me and said she had made too much food, so I needed to bring some hungry men to eat it. This was a common thing with her. She loved cooking and she always made too much. That was how she had gotten the guys to come over so often. She fed them well. I got everyone’s attention and told them to be at my house at 6PM. No exceptions. Since it was after 5 already, I suggested we all go on to my house. There were no objections. Minhyuk asked if he was invited as well. “Of course you are. You are finally about to meet your new Irish mother.” The others laughed. “Welcome to the family, brother.” Shownu said as he patted him on the back. He grinned and looked at me. I melted. “Eomma can really cook. You are in for a treat,” he added. I saw his shoulders relax and he smiled. “Hannah, not so much,” Kyun added. “I can burn water,” I said flatly. They laughed. Min tilted his head to the side and smiled sweetly at me. It made my heart flutter again and made me even more confused. He seemed to have dropped the polite and cool demeanor. Was he flirting now? Just a few minutes later, we were sitting at the dinner table. Dad was home so we had almost a full house. Clara was the only one missing, so I Face-timed her and propped my phone so everyone could see her. She said hello to the guys and I introduced her to her son’s teacher. “Clara, this is Minhyuk… er, Edward?” I looked at him questioningly. “Hi Clara, we’ve met a few times, you know me as Minhyuk, but at professionally I go by my English name, Edward. Just like Changkyun is Dany at school.” “Ah yes! Now it fits. Connor keeps talking about you. I think you have a superfan!” she laughed and Connor giggled. “I want school to start!” he exclaimed. “Mr. Lee, how much longer?” Connor was not your average 6 year old. He loved books more than TV. He did enjoy video games occasionally, but he limited himself. He said he preferred reading because he could use his imagination more. The child was much more mature than the other kids his age. Sometimes he had struggled in Kindergarten because of that. I decided I needed to discuss this with his teacher soon. Maybe at the open house. Mom announced the food was ready and told everyone to line up. There was no way she was serving us all. She was beaming though. She loved having a large family in the house. The more, the merrier, she would say. It reminded her of growing up in Ireland. Tonight’s feast was 2 pans of meat lasagna, a gigantic tossed salad, the cheesiest garlic bread you've ever seen, and a homemade cheesecake, which she made especially for me. I thought I spotted a bit of drool on Shownu’s mouth as he picked up his plate. Dad was waiting to let everyone else go first. I went to him and held out my hand, “come on, there might not be anything left after this crew hits it.” He smiled and got up.Seven pairs of eyes almost rolled back into their heads when they took their first bites. “Mrs. Song, this is delicious!” Minhyuk exclaimed. “Oh thank you, son. You can call me Eomma like the others,” she patted his hand and smiled. “You are friends with my sons and my daughter, so you are my son now too. Maybe someday one of you will claim my Hannah and bring me some more grandbabies!” Loud laughter followed. Minhyuk wasn’t quite sure what was happening, but he played along. “Mom!” I admonished her. It didn’t do any good. She did this often and she was convinced I would marry one of them. Clara too. She would have been okay with any of them. They were her sons, after all. The men were silent for the first time that night as they devoured the food. When we had finished off the entire cheesecake and our bellies were ready to explode, Dad pushed away from the table and called us all to the den. Mom had started a pot of coffee, so I loaded up a tray with cups, cream, and sugar and we headed to the room where the others were seated. We sipped our coffee and talked. Mom wanted to get to know Minhyuk, since he was the newest addition to her family. I tried to listen, but Kyun kept distracting me. I caught his birthday, so I knew he was a Scorpio. I caught that he has a younger brother, he loved whales, and I caught that he preferred dogs over cats. That might be a deal breaker. I am team cats. She asked him about his family, how long he had been in the states, and other things like that. I found myself trying to listen and learn. “I have a brother, he is married with a son. My parents are amazing. I miss them a lot. I have been in the states off an on for 5 years. I have been teaching for over 10 years.” These little tidbits were filed away in my mind. I had a habit of remembering facts and information about people. It was a job hazard that carried over into everyday life. Kihyun quietly slipped away when Dad went to tuck Connor in and I heard noise coming from the kitchen. I went to give him a hand because as usual, he had started putting away the food and cleaning up. “Want some help?” I asked as I stepped through the doorway. “There isn’t much. Your mom took care of most of it already. But sure, come on.” I picked up the towel and took a serving spoon from him. I dried it and put it away in the drawer. “We have missed you, Noona.” He paused and turned to me. I loved it when they called me Noona. “I have missed you guys too,” I said as I kissed his cheek. “I am here now though. Let’s enjoy our time together.” I squeezed his shoulder as I resumed my task of drying the dishes he had already washed. I asked about his restaurants and his chest swelled with pride. “They are doing better than I had ever dreamed! You really have to come by for dinner. My treat, of course.” “Only if I get to eat with the chef. A girl’s gotta have some special treatment sometimes,” I teased. “Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But you’ll have to come early for that,” he laughed. “I need your mom’s recipe for lasagna. That was the best I’ve ever had.” “Why thank you, son!” Mom lilted from the doorway. “But there’s no way I’m givin’ ya mah recipe.” She winked as she sat a full tray of coffee cups on the counter. We both knew she would give it to him in a heartbeat. We finished cleaning up and went back to the den. It was nearing 9, so Hyungwon got up first to leave. He had an early appointment with one of Clara’s clients, so he needed to get to bed soon. He had taken on some of Clara’s cases since she was out of commission. He was her partner at the firm and they usually worked on cases together. He had gone by to visit and keep her up to date on the ones they had been working on. I sighed when I thought about the changes Clara was going to have to make. It was going to affect all areas of her life, but especially her career as an attorney. I don’t think she fully understood the impact her surgery was going to have on her life, but she would soon enough. Hyungwon hugged Mom and then me as he headed to the door. He patted Minhyuk on the arm as he walked by. Honey hitched a ride with him because he had to work the next day too. Wonho was next to leave, and then Shownu and Kihyun. Minhyuk had ridden with Changkyun and Honey. Kyun and Minhyuk weren’t ready to leave yet. I was happy about that. Mom announced she was tired and said goodnight. Kyun suggested we go downstairs. I asked them to give me 5 minutes because I had left in a hurry earlier. He winked and sat back in his chair. I hurried downstairs to tidy up quickly. I wanted to make a good impression for Minhyuk. I could care less if Kyun and Honey saw it. It wasn’t messy, but I had a basket of clothes on the sofa that I was going to put away when I got home and random other things around the room. The basement was Dad’s entertainment area. There was a wetbar, pool table, full bath with shower, big TV, and sectional sofa which was more comfortable than my bed in LA. It had huge glass doors that opened onto the patio, which was a whole “room” of its own. It basically had an outdoor kitchen and dining area. The doors opened up to make the 2 spaces into one large party area. I wiped down the coffee table just as I heard Kyun’s voice from the top of the stairs. It also did not have a door. “Ready!” I called in response. I heard the men coming down the stairs and tossed the rag into the bin. Within a moment they entered the room and made a beeline for my couch. Kyun could attest to how comfy it was. He had spent many a night on it. I offered them drinks. Minhyuk asked for a Coke and Kyun asked for whiskey. I told him no, since he was driving and I did not want him sleeping in my bed that night. He threw his head back and laughed. He accepted a Coke too. “You might give our friend the wrong idea when you say things like that, Noona.” I hadn’t caught that one and suddenly my face flushed. “What shall we watch?” he looked through the channels while Minhyuk sat with his elbow on the arm of the sofa and his fingers at his lips. His expression gave me butterflies and I wasn’t sure how to respond to Kyun. Did I address it or just let it be? I couldn’t come up with anything, so I just got up to get the drinks. “I take it neither of you have to get up early?” I asked as I returned with the fizzing beverages. “No school, no meetings,” Kyun commented as he patted the couch beside him. It happened to be between them. “I am free until late morning. I have some things to do at the school for the open house tomorrow,” Minhyuk said as he thanked me for the cola. I decided to throw caution to the wind and enjoy this time. If I could be friends with Kyun and the guys, I could be friends with Minhyuk. It didn’t matter that I saw him “as a man”, as they say in the K-dramas. I sat down and crossed my legs underneath me. My knee touched Minhyuk’s leg, but he did not pull away. We were both wearing shorts, so there was direct skin-to-skin contact. It felt tingly. I liked it too much. Kyun picked a movie that had some action, comedy, and a little romance. I was only halfway paying attention, especially after Minhyuk’s fingers brushed against my thigh. I felt heat where he touched. I looked up at him to see if it was accidental or not. The way he was looking at me, I did not think it was accidental. His expression lit a fire in me. I wanted him. I didn’t even care if Kyun was there, but I didn’t dare act on it though. The boundaries were set. This was going to be a tough couple of months. But if he set those boundaries, why was he pushing them? Was this a test? Was he trying to see if I would maintain the distance because of my nephew, or was he willing to move them? I almost spoke those questions out loud. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t. It wasn’t like me to keep things to myself. It also wasn’t like me to play coy or to play around like this. I opened my mouth to speak, but changed my mind. I made the mistake of looking at him and lost all the words that had been in my head. Our eyes locked and I swear I felt electricity flow between us. Kyun started laughing at the movie and snapped me back to reality. I looked away because I could not handle the intensity of Minhyuk’s gaze at that moment. I wondered what the stakes would have been, had we been playing the eye contact game. I wondered if it would have involved clothing. I felt my face flush and turned back to the movie. The lights were dimmed, so I hoped he would not notice. I thought I felt his eyes on me, but when I snuck a glance, he was watching the movie. Kyun put his arm around me, like he always did. For the first time, I wanted to move it. I was beginning to see things now, since my innocent comment earlier. I could see that someone could think we had a different kind of relationship that we really had. I didn’t know how to address that, or if I even should address that. I was going back to LA very soon. I would only see Minhyuk when I came home to visit. I was hoping that would be more often, but so far it wasn’t even once a year. I decided it was best just to leave things alone. Why change the entire dynamic of our relationship for something so trivial? I settled back against the couch and apparently fell asleep. I woke up a bit later against Minhyuk. Under a blanket. With his arm around me. With Kyun nowhere to be found. “Good morning, Noona,” Minhyuk said with a sexy sideways smile. “Did you sleep well?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Those eyes. I was lost in his eyes. They were all I could see as I struggled to figure where I was and what was happening. He blinked and I saw the uneven blink up close. I couldn’t breathe. He smiled and I felt like I never wanted to move from that spot. In his arms. Wait, in his arms? How…I jumped backwards and stood quickly. The sudden movement threw me off balance and I stumbled. He reached to catch me and we fell to the couch. He landed on top of me. My hands were on his chest, his hard chest. I wanted him. I hadn’t wanted anyone like this before, ever. I licked my lips. He watched. A tiny smile appeared, more of a smirk. His lips parted and his eyes grew darker. I could only hear my heart beating in my ears.But then, another rhythmic sound… footsteps on the stairs. Oh no! Connor! I pushed him back and stood up, looking around like I was guilty of something. Minhyuk just sat on the couch grinning. I felt naked. I looked down to check, but I still had on all my clothes. I looked up and Changkyun was standing there with a huge grin on his face.“Am I interrupting something?” he asked with one eyebrow raised.“Um no, nothing. We, uh, I just woke up. Um, what time is it?” I looked for my phone to see the time.“It is 5:14 in the morning,” Minhyuk answered in his raspy voice. That sexy voice that flowed over me and made me feel a certain way. “We spent the night together, it seems.” His eyes sparkled mischievously. Changkyun came around and sat on the couch.“I… I will be back in a sec.” I practically ran upstairs. I had a bathroom downstairs, but I wanted real privacy. I needed to get away for a minute. What the hell just happened? I was about to kiss him! What the hell! I splashed water on my face and looked into the mirror. If he wants boundaries, he needs to uphold them. What the hell was that?I took care of my business, smoothed my hair, and headed back to the stairs. I stopped and went to the coffee pot instead. Mom always had it programmed to start at 5AM. She appeared and startled me. She took one look at me and smiled.“So he spent the night, eh?”“How… how can you possibly know that? And nothing happened. We just fell asleep on the couch,” my voice trailed off as she started laughing.“Kyunnie’s car is still outside, Creena. Sometimes you are a bit too gullible,” she patted my cheek and laughed softly. “Now let’s get some coffee for you and your boyfriends. Connor will be up soon and I am sure you don’t want his teacher here when he wakes up.” She winked at me. She was right. It was awkward enough now. That would be too much.We loaded a tray and I took it downstairs. I heard low voices and laughter. I tried to be quiet so I could hear, but the coffee cups rattled and gave me away. So much for my stealthy recon. I cursed under my breath. Kyun met me at the bottom of the stairs and took the tray. I was still a few stairs up, but he could reach it easily.He sat the tray on the coffee table and spread out on the other end of the sofa so I was forced to sit between them if I sat down. “Dad really needs more furniture down here,” I muttered to myself as I sat down. I looked forward because I could not look at either of them. I sipped my coffee in silence. I felt both of them looking at me. I took a deep breath, “You guys need to hit the road. Connor will be up soon and he can’t see his teacher here like this.” I looked over at Minhyuk. He still had that mischievous look. I wanted to jump on top of him and… well, I think you get the idea.Neither made any move to hurry. They sipped their coffee and chatted like they had nothing else to do. I was getting nervous. We were running out of time. I stood up and faced them. “You have to go. Now, please.” Still no movement. I grabbed Kyun by the arm and tried to pull him up. He didn’t budge. “Please,” I begged. “For Connor’s sake. He won’t understand.”“Well, for Connor I guess we can go. But only for Connor.” Changkyun stood slowly and nodded to Minhyuk. Kyun hugged me and said he would see me at the Summer Social. Min did the same. He lingered in the hug a bit longer than Kyun did, and his were already long hugs. Minhyuk’s hands almost covered my back and I could feel the heat and it radiated into my body. His fingers lightly caressed my spine and I felt tingly.When he broke the contact, I felt lonely. I wanted to be back in his arms. They said goodbye and headed up the stairs. I heard them talk to Mom, and then I heard the front door close. I breathed a sigh of relief. That was too close for comfort.I decided I would just confront him. Enough of the flirting, teasing looks. I didn’t have time or the patience for that. I finished my coffee and took the tray upstairs. I absently loaded the cups in the dishwasher. Connor padded over and gave me a sleepy hug.“Good morning sleepyhead,” I said as I brushed his almost-black hair out of his face. He looked at me and rubbed his eyes.“I had a bad dream,” he kept rubbing his eyes like he was trying to rub the dream away. I pulled him into my arms.“It’s OK, sweetheart. Tell me about your dream.”“Mommy didn’t come home from the hospital. She had to stay there forever,” tears began to fall onto his puffy little cheeks. “Just like Daddy never came home from the faraway place.” He began to cry harder. I held him and stroked his back.“Mommy will be home in a few days. She is going to be just fine. And we are going to go see her in a little while. Don’t you worry, sweetie,” I had a hard time not crying with him. He had been so strong that none of us realized how this must be affecting him. His father had been killed in Iraq when he was 2. He didn’t remember his father, but we had tried to make sure he knew who he was. Clara kept photos of him around and talked about him often.I picked up the little boy and held him in my arms. I walked to the couch and sat down. Mom came in as we were walking. She knew something was wrong and came with us. We talked to him and let him talk to us. He began to calm down and soon he was smiling again. He went with Mom to get breakfast, and I went to shower.I had a long conversation with myself under the streaming water. Seeing the way Connor had been just now really messed with my emotions. I could not do anything to cause him to be ridiculed or bullied. If his classmates found out that his aunt and his teacher were messing around, that would be really bad for him. They would think he was receiving special treatment. He was already different than the other kids, so that would just make it worse. He had dealt with that enough in Kindergarten. I resolved that I would not hurt Connor. Forget the confrontation. Forget the flirting. I was only here for another 6 weeks or so. I could handle it. He was officially off limits.I felt good about my decision. I was not going to let my emotions or my hormones rule me. I never had before, so why start now? I got ready to go to visit Clara, putting away the thought that I would be seeing Minhyuk the that evening at the Summer Social. I pushed the thought back when I took extra care doing my hair and makeup. I pushed it out of my mind when I selected a flirty summer dress to change into later from the capris and a cute top that I was wearing to the hospital. I pushed it out of my mind when I chose sexy sandals instead of white sneakers. I pushed it out of my mind completely. Sure I did.Must protect my nephew. Boundaries. Connor. Off limits. I kept repeating these things to myself, even as I drove us to lunch and then to the hospital. The three of us went in together and we were pleased to see Clara sitting up and looking very bright and cheery. Her color looked a little better and she didn’t look as gaunt as she had the first few days.Connor ran to her and climbed up on the bed, carefully. He did not want to hurt his mommy. He laid down beside her and snuggled in. He gently touched the bandages on her chest and told her how he hoped she could get rid of those soon and come home.“Me too, baby. I think that will be happening sooner than we thought,” she smiled at the tiny man and he looked up at her with eyes full of hope.“Really? When are you coming home?”“The doctors think I might get to come home early next week,” she looked at us when she said that, then back to Connor. “But I have to pass some tests first. So let’s not get too excited until I pass them, ok?”“OK, Mommy, but I know you can pass them. You are very smart! I can help you study,” he smiled proudly. we laughed at his innocent comment.“Not that kind of tests, baby, but I am sure if they were I would pass with flying colors with your help.” He was so precious laying there with her. I didn’t want to disrupt the moment.“Clara, that is amazing news! We have your room all ready,” I said softly.“I turned Dad’s old office into a bedroom for you.”“Mom, there is already a guest room.”“I know, but I don’t want you climbing the stairs. I did a lot in there to make it comfortable for you.” She stroked her oldest daughter’s hair and smiled.“The guys are missing you too. Don’t be surprised if they hang around a lot,” I added.“Especially one or two of them,” mom winked at me and I blushed. Of course I did. Clara picked up on the exchange and grinned.“You will fill me in later when the little ears are not able to hear.” I lowered my eyes and cleared my throat.“There is nothing to tell.” I raised my head defiantly as I made the statement. They laughed.As we were leaving, we passed Hyungwon in the hallway. He had a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a small gift bag. He was startled when he saw us and it looked sort of like he was trying to hide the items, but gave up.“Hi Wonnie!” I exclaimed as I went in for a hug. “We just left her, so I know she is awake. She’ll be glad to see you, as long as you didn’t bring work with you.” I raised an eyebrow for emphasis. He laughed and I detected a slight nervous edge to it. My curiosity was peaked.“No work this time. I just came to visit my partner and hopefully brighten her day a little.” His smile was soft and sweet. I knew their secret was out now. They had been dating for a few months, but Clara had not told mom yet. She said it was too soon and they were just getting serious. Mom caught on but she didn’t say anything because of Connor.Connor napped on the way home. He had not slept well because of his bad dream, so we let him sleep. It was a short trip anyway. Mom took the opportunity to bring up Hyungwon’s visit.“When is she goin’ to tell me they are a couple?” she asked quietly.“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I tried to pretend I didn’t know.“Hannah, yer old mum’s got eyes. I’ve seen how they look at each other when he is over at the house. I have seen the way they sneak touches and glances. They are in love. I can see it clear as a bell.” I almost choked on the air so I coughed.“I think you need to bring that up with your daughter.”“I am. You are mah daughter too.”“Yes, but I meant the one who’s life we are discussing.”“Yah, yah, I know. I was hoping to get at least a confirmation from ya.”“I plead the 5th,” I stated clearly as I looked straight ahead. I could feel her eyes boring into my face, but I ignored it. It was not my place to reveal Clara’s secret. She would bring it up when she was ready.“Ya, whatever. She’ll spill the beans eventually. But I won’t act surprised.”“I wouldn’t expect you to.” We knew our Mom. She wasn’t going to be fake for anyone. She shot me a glance.“So you won’t talk about her man. Let’s talk about yours.” Again with the choking.“What man??” I asked a little louder than I should have and Connor stirred. I reached back and patted his leg and told him to go back to sleep. We were only 10 minutes away from home.“Creena, you obviously like him and he likes you,” it was nice to have her confirmation, bit it didn’t help matters. “So what is going on?”“Nothing is going on, Mom. Absolutely nothing. I won’t let it. Connor would be in the middle and I can’t do that to him.”“Well I suppose that is a good reason. But what about after Clara gets back and takes over all the school responsibilities again?”“I will be going back to LA then. So it is best to just not even think about it.” I heard her huff when I mentioned LA. She didn’t like me living that far away and had tried to talk me into coming back home many times.“If you were here, you could date him. Who knows, maybe you would end up marrying him and giving me more grandbabies.”“Mom, don’t start with that please. You know I have a business in LA. It is doing really well too.” It could have been doing better, but I wasn’t going to tell her that right now.“You can do that here too. You could even partner with yer dad sometimes.”“I admit it would be great working with Dad again, but I have worked hard to get it going. I can’t just drop it.” She muttered something under her breath. “What mom. Just say it.” I was getting annoyed now.“You dropped it to come home for yer sister.” She crossed her arms and pouted in her seat. I wanted to laugh because she looked so cute. Mom was short and tiny with bright red hair. Well, it was bright red when she was younger. Now it was muted red with gray running through it. Clara got her hair, which she now dyed black, and I got her green eyes. Clara’s were more blue that green. I had to swallow my laughter because laughing was the absolute wrong thing to do at that moment, if I valued my life.“Mommy, I only paused it. I did not drop it. Clara gave me enough notice that I could wrap up the 2 things I was working on and I just didn’t take on any new ones until fall. I am fully booked when I get back.” OK, maybe not fully, but again, not telling her that.Connor began to stir again. He raised his head and asked if we were home yet. We almost were, so I told him to sit up and get ready. We got home around 2. Connor was getting a bit grumpy, so Mom made him take a real nap. We needed to leave for the Summer Social by 4:30. Traffic would be nasty already and I didn’t want to be late.Mom and I talked for a bit while Connor napped, then I went to freshen up and change into the sundress I had chosen that morning. I brushed my hair and noted it was getting a little frizzy from the humidity, the curse of curly hair. I heated up my flat iron to touch it up. I blotted the shiny spots on my face and used my Dior Lip Tattoo so that I didn’t have to worry about my lips later. It tasted good and lasted a long time.Connor was up from his power nap when I got back upstairs. I had my sandals in my hand and mom winked at me. She told me I looked pretty. She kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “that will definitely get someone’s attention.” I blushed again. What was with me and the blushing? I don’t usually get embarrassed by things like that. I sighed and smiled at her.“It is hot and I want to feel pretty today. That is all.”“Auntie Hannah, you look beautiful!” Connor said as he straightened his little tie. That was his choice. He wanted to wear a tie so he would make a good impression. Did I mention that he isn’t like other 6 year olds?“Thank you, sir. You look very handsome.”“He sure does!” Dad entered the room. He had been in his kitchen, prepping for his event the next day. Michelle and Charlie had just left. Dad picked up the little boy and spun him around the kitchen. Connor squealed with delight.I patted his back and kissed his cheek. “Ready to go?”“Yes, ma’am, I am ready!” he threw his tiny fist in the air.He talked non-stop all the way while I negotiated my way through traffic. He was excited to meet the other teachers and maybe some of his new classmates. When we finally arrived and found a parking space, he almost bounced out of the car. I spotted several other children around his age. The faculty had set up fun activities, games, and refreshments.“Wow Connor, this a mini carnival, not an open house!” I exclaimed. He was taking it all in and spotted a game he wanted to play.“Let’s get signed in first, then you can play. I will find Uncle Kyunnie and Mr. Lee while you play. How does that sound?”“OK, Auntie Hannah!” I followed the signs to the sign-in table and we went to sign in. I was bent over signing our names and I heard a familiar voice very close to my ear.“Hannah, you really shouldn’t bend over like that in that dress,” Kyun whispered so no one else heard. My head shot up and I almost hit him in the face. He jumped back just in time, a smile on his face.“You started me! Don’t do that Cha… Dany!” He laughed and held his hand up to his chest, indicating that I was giving a show to anyone who happened to look. I straightened my shoulders and adjusted my dress. “It doesn’t usually do that. I think my strap is messed up. Can you watch Connor while I go to the ladies room?”“Of course, come here dude,” he held out his hand and Connor went to him, jabbering the whole time. He told me where to find the closest restroom and I went inside the building. I spotted the ladies room door just down the hall and I looked down to mess with the neckline of my dress. I had never had issues before with that dress and it bothered me that I was flashing everyone.Suddenly I bumped into someone. I stepped back, already apologizing as I looked up. My voice trailed off mid apology as I saw Minhyuk in front of me, grinning. He held my arms to steady me. The direct contact of his hands on my bare arms left fire where they touched. I shivered.“Are you cold?” he asked, suddenly concerned.“No, I… um yes, it is a little cold in here compared to the sauna outside,” I decided that was a better answer.“I have a sweater in my office, if you need it later. You are rather… exposed… in that dress. It is very pretty though.” He said the word in a way that affected me greatly.“Thank you. It seemed like a good idea since this thing is outside and it is a jillion degrees with 150% humidity. I just had to make sure to pile on the sunscreen and hope my hair doesn’t explode.” I laughed awkwardly. Remember Connor… remember Connor. I repeated it in my head, over and over. It did not stop the longing within me. Especially when I was that close to the uneven blink and disarming smile.“Yes, sunscreen is a must to protect your fair skin. It is like porcelain,” his voice grew breathier. “And I bet your curls are beautiful, even when they are wild.” He brushed his fingertips across my bare shoulder and down my arm. He left a trail of gooseflesh and I shuddered again. It was from his words as much as his touch. “Come on, let’s get you a sweater.”“No no, it is ok. I will be fine once I get back outside,” I lied. What I meant was, once I get away from you and your magic. I took a slow, deep breath… “I need to step into the restroom. If you will excuse me,” I pointed to the door just ahead and smiled to soften my tone. He nodded and stepped aside.“Sure. I’ll see you outside?”“Mmhmm, be right out,” I called over my shoulder. When the heavy door closed behind me, I fell against it. “This is going to be much harder than I thought,” I said to no one in particular.
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After I regained my composure and adjusted the strap that had come loose on my dress, I returned to the festivities. Kyun introduced me to his other teacher friends and Connor met several of his classmates. They went off to play in the bouncy house. I spotted Shownu, who was the swim coach at the school, and went to say hello.I noticed Minhyuk by the drink table talking to a very pretty, if overly made up, older woman. She was clearly flirting with him, touching his arm, leaning in when he spoke, laughing at what he said, and touching her own neck to draw his eyes there. He looked uncomfortable. I rolled my eyes and decided he might need a rescue. Jealousy welled up in me from out of nowhere. I smashed it back down quickly. Off limits. I am just doing him a courtesy.I approached and noticed his attention shifted to me. The woman tried to get it back, but he was looking at me and smiling. He introduced us and I learned she was the mother of one of his former students, who was now a middle schooler. I also noticed no ring on her left hand. Single mom, I assumed. Cougar, I also surmised.“I am so sorry to interrupt, but I was hoping to speak with Mr. Lee about my nephew. Do you mind if I borrow him for a bit?” I took his arm and he excused himself from the woman. She looked very annoyed.“Thank you,” he said in a low voice so she wouldn’t hear. “She has been following me since she got here. Every time I turn around, there she is.”“I could see you were in distress and I couldn’t let you suffer. But I really do need to talk to you about Connor.”“Would you like to go to my office? It is much quieter and cooler in there,” he offered.“That sounds lovely. Let me make sure Kyun can keep an eye on Connor.” I pulled my phone out and texted my best friend. He replied that he was already watching him play. Minhyuk opened and held the door for me and then led me down the hallway to his office. He closed the door behind us.We sat on the comfy couch. He turned to face me, pulling his leg up in front of his body. I crossed my legs and adjusted my skirt so that it covered as much as possible. I had never realized how high it rode when I sat down. When I looked up, his eyes were on my legs and I felt flushed. Off limits. Repeating that to myself was not helping at all. I cleared my throat and began to speak.“As Connor’s temporary guardian, I thought I should tell you a little about him. He is not a typical 6 year old.”“I have noticed he seems more mature than most,” his eyes slowly traveled up to meet mine. My body was reacting to his gaze and I pulled my arms together and put my hands on my knees to hide my chest.He stood and took a sweater off of a hook by the door and handed it to me. I smiled and wrapped it around my shoulders. “Exactly,” I continued. “He is that and he is incredibly smart. He likes rules and order. He loves to study and read. He is artistic and loves to draw and paint. If you have art in your class, his talent will surprise you.”“Those are all good things to know, but why did you feel it necessary to tell me now?” he asked, leaning in closer.“Because other students don’t always take up with him easily. They make fun of him wearing ties or wanting to read instead of playing on the playground. At his last school, he was the only half-Asian kid in his class and they bullied him. I am kinda new to this and I…,” my voice was full of emotion and tears filled my eyes. “I just don’t want it to happen again.”“I will do everything in my power to make sure it doesn’t,” he reached up and wiped a tear from my cheek. His hand lingered against my face and I felt myself leaning into it.I could not tear my eyes from his gaze. Off limits echoed in my head, but it seemed to be moving further away. He cupped my face and leaned in. I didn’t pull away. His lips brushed mine and I felt butterflies lifting me up. Involuntarily, my lips parted, welcoming the contact. His scent filled my senses. He pressed his lips onto mine, very softly at first then increasing the pressure. I returned the kiss, and just as I was about to fully give in, the voice began screaming at me and I pulled back. He looked confused.“I am sorry, Minhyuk. I can’t do this. You were right to set boundaries. We can’t do this to Connor.” He looked even more confused.“Boundaries? What do you mean?”“At first I thought there was… a spark? Then at band practice you kept your distance. Then after the gym you were flirting. I’ve been confused, but I knew it was because of Connor. It would be a conflict of interest kind of thing. You were right to not…” He started shaking his head.“No, no, that’s not it at all… although you do have a point,” he paused and I heard him take a breath. “When I came in that night at practice, you were sitting on Kyun’s lap. You held hands. You guys seemed very… intimate. I thought you were together and I wasn’t going to get in the way of my friend.” My eyes must have given away my feelings and I felt shy and embarrassed. He smiled and brushed my cheek. “He explained your relationship later though. That is the conversation you walked in on that day.”“Oh, we definitely do not have that kind of relationship, but we do have a close one. Intimate might actually be a good word for it, but it isn’t sexual.”“I understand now, but I didn’t then. I admit, it is a bit disconcerting. And confusing,” he added.“I can see how you would be confused. We have never worried about impressions. We do have a unique relationship. I am sorry for all that, but can you understand that I have to protect my nephew? I can’t put him in the position of his classmates thinking he is getting preferential treatment.” His eyes dropped and then he looked back at me.“I can. I don’t really like it, but I can respect your wishes. I will respect them. I can’t promise not to look at you, but I won’t touch.” He looked at my lips and I sighed, relieved yet frustrated.“Thank you,” I put my hand over his. “I want you to know that this won’t be easy for me either. I have been thinking about you too much.”“That is a relief. I was beginning to think it was just me,” he smiled and pushed a bit of hair behind my ear.We talked about Connor for a few more minutes before returning to the carnival area. I spotted him right away and Kyun was close by, as promised. Connor was playing a game with 2 other little boys. That made me smile. I hoped he was going to make some friends this year. Maybe this new school would make a difference.Kyun motioned me over. He put his arm around me and I remembered Minhyuk’s words. This is how we had always been and I had never thought twice about it. I was aware now and unsure how to react. He looked at me and an odd look formed on his face. He lowered his arm but stayed next to me, his hand on my back.“You are going to be here until the beginning of September, right?” he asked.“Yes, I leave in about 5 more weeks. Why?”“Well, the high school is having a dance to kick off the new school year. I have been volunteered,” he gestured air quotes, “to chaperon and I was hoping you would be my co-chaperon since you will still be here,” he grinned and raised his eyebrows. I had never figured out how to withstand his charm. Begrudgingly, I said yes.“I guess it will be fun to do before I go back to my boring life.” Minhyuk joined us just then.“What will be fun?” he asked as he tucked himself in behind us, clearly evading the cougar from earlier.“Hannah just agreed to be my date for the dance,” he announced proudly.“I agreed to co-chaperon with you. No one said anything about a date!” I laughed.“I was thinking of volunteering for that too. They asked all the teachers, and it is open to parents and guardians too.”“You should do it. We can all co-chaperon together. A threesome!” Minhyuk and I exchanged a quick glance and looked away guiltily. Changkyun saw and his smile grew bigger. “Something happened. I can tell,” he teased. I blushed and Minhyuk tried to change the subject to Connor. Kyun just kept grinning at us. He was clearly enjoying this.I turned my attention to the children nearby. Connor was laughing and looked like he was having a very good time. There was a line forming at the dunk tank. Somehow they had wrangled Shownu to be the target. He was in the cage teasing the kids as they tried their best to hit the mark and make him fall into the cold water.I noticed many of the moms were also gathered, waiting to see him get wet in his white t-shirt. I was not going to mind when that happened. Shownu was my friend and I wasn’t attracted to him in that way, but I wasn’t blind. The man was gorgeous.It wasn’t long before one of his swim students hit the bullseye and he went down with a big splash. He popped up out of the water with a huge grin on his face. The t-shirt was clinging to his muscled chest and arms. It was a beautiful sight. The kids were laughing and screaming, and the moms were trying to be discreet in their ogling.I felt Minhyuk and Kyun looking at me. I shrugged and said, “get over it boys. He’s beautiful.” I left them standing there, speechless. I winked at Shownu as I walked by and his eye smile grew.Later that evening, after we had all settled in for the night, I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling. There was a soft glow from the patio lights and they cast shadows from the trees. It was sort of like looking at the clouds. Different images formed as they danced on the ceiling. When I saw a couple kissing, I pulled my pillow over my face and yelled into it out of frustration.I tossed all night, tormented with dreams of him. He was the one in the dunk tank and I was the one who hit the target. When he came up, it was slow motion, like in a movie. The water rippled down his face, his throat, his chest, his waist…I saw it all in detail. He was magnificent. I had seen enough at the gym that day to fill in the blanks in my dream. He wasn’t as developed as Shownu or as big as Wonho, but he was nicely formed in all the right places. In my dream, he opened his eyes and looked straight at me. He smirked then smiled, throwing his head back. The sun glistened on his neck and accentuated his chest muscles.The cage and tank disappeared, as well as everyone around us. We were suddenly in his office and he was walking toward me. I was on the couch. He stood in front of me and leaned down, placing his hands on either side of me. He was looking straight into my eyes and moving closer… closer…Suddenly I was jarred awake by movement next to me. I opened my eyes and they protested the light streaming through the glass. I was disoriented at first, but then I saw the reason for the disturbance. Connor was laying beside me, giggling. I groaned, he giggled more. He should be glad that he was so adorable, because I was really getting into that dream.“Good morning, sweetie,” I rasped.“Good morning Auntie Hannah. Guess what!” He was way too excited for my taste.“What?” I grumbled.“Mommy is coming home tomorrow!” I was suddenly in a better mood.“That is wonderful news!” I reached over and pulled him in to snuggle. “Now let’s go back to sleep.”“Auntie Hannah, it is 7:00. You should be up now.” This kid and his crazy ideas.“Connor, Auntie is on vacation and it is Sunday. I can sleep as late as I want, as long as I am ready for 11:30 mass. Your Nana will make sure of that,” I mumbled into the pillow.“But we have so much to do! We have to pick up supplies for the party and we have to make the food!”“That is what Papa is for. He is the cook. And your Uncle Kihyun. He can help. Ask Nana to call him.” I pressed my face into the pillow, willing the dream to come back. I could feel Connor pouting beside me. I could not handle his pouting. Even though I hadn’t physically been here for a few years, I kept in touch with my family. We talked and video chatted at least once a week, sometimes more. Clara and Connor had made a couple of trips out to visit me too. And Connor always made sure his mom kept me informed of how he was doing in school.I rolled over with an exaggerated sigh. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?” I said to the boy. He giggled.“Yes, ma’am, I do.”“Then you will understand why I must do the thing that I am about to do…” I warned and I raised my hand in the air, fingers in claw position. He squealed and I brought the hand down to his soft belly and began the punishment. I tickled him until he begged for mercy. Then I did it again. By the time we were done, we were both laughing and out of breath.We sat up and he pulled my hand to help me get out of bed. He led me upstairs and announced to his Nana that he got me up. Nana said, “well it’s about time, now, isn’t it?”She had a cup of coffee on standby for me. Connor sat down beside me and a plate of eggs, bacon, and homemade biscuits was placed in front of him. I pouted at Mom.“Where’s mine?”She pointed to the counter, “over there. You’ve got feet and hands.” She huffed at me as she patted Connor’s head.“Always the favorite,” I stuck my tongue out at Connor and he giggled. I kissed the top of his adorable head as I got up to fix my plate.After morning mass, we went shopping for the party then went home to prepare. I called Kyun and asked him to spread the word that she was coming home and there would be a party. He said he would take care of it. Dad was in his kitchen, whipping up some delicious goodies, all directed by Connor. He was the planner on this event and no one dared cross his little path.A bit later, I heard the front door open. In walked Kyun, Kihyun, and Minhyuk. Kyun said they had come to help. I was actually relieved because Mom and I were both short and Dad was not able to come help us hang stuff. We were struggling with the step ladder. After hugs had all been passed out, they jumped in and pretty much took over. Minhyuk was playing with Connor while they all worked. He was so fun to be around.I expected things to be awkward between us, but I felt comfortable with him. Until the memory of my dream came crashing back. I blushed for no apparent reason to anyone else, but Kyun looked at me with a knowing grin and winked. I turned and went to work on something else.Mom already had a huge pot of Irish stew going from that morning. She asked them to stay to eat, and they happily agreed. She mixed up some soda bread and threw it in the oven and called everyone to the den. We laughed and played while the scent of the food filled the house. I was starving by the time we sat down to eat.“I don’t understand how you can be such an awful cook, when your mom is this amazing,” Kyun said with a spoon dripping delicious stew in front of his face.“Ah, I gave that gift to Clara. There were other things that this one got,” she giggled.She wasn’t wrong though. Clara got her hair, her temper, her intuition, and her ability to cook. I got her eyes, her attitude, her organizational skills, her height, and her brains. OK, so we both got the brains, but I needed to fill up my side more. And we both looked just like her.“I am an expert at ordering take out though. I had to develop my survival skills when I moved away,” I laughed.“My mom makes the best kimchi,” Minhyuk spoke up.Kihyun countered, “Shownu’s mom makes the best kimchi.”“No, mine does,” Minhyuk said a little louder. The other 2 joined in the argument.“I think I can settle this,” I stood and went to the refrigerator. I pulled out a brown plastic container and opened it. “My mom makes the best kimchi.” I placed the container on the table, passed out 3 sets of chopsticks, and let them sample the delicacy inside. I could tell they were skeptical. I mean, didn’t you kinda have to be Korean to make the best kimchi?Their eyes rolled back as they went in for bite after bite of the fermented side dish.“Omo! Mrs. Song, I mean Eomma, this is amazing!” Minhyuk exclaimed. “How did you learn to make it so good?”“When we were first married, we spent a month in Korea with his family. His mother, grandmother, and aunts taught me. I can make all sorts of Korean fare.”“I can attest to that,” Changkyun added with chopsticks in the air.“Eomma, my apologies. I must have never had your kimchi before. This is stellar!” Kihyun said.“No apology necessary, just eat up,” Mom beamed at the compliment. Dad sat back in his chair, belly full, and a smile on his face.“My lady can cook anything. Korean, Irish… doesn’t matter. It is all delicious,” he smiled at her. Mom kissed his cheek as she took his bowl to the sink. Kihyun helped us clean up, as usual, and then they all said goodnight. Minhyuk lingered longer than Kyun or Kihyun on the hug and I didn’t want to let him go.Between the excitement of Clara coming home and seeing Minhyuk again, I barely slept. Again. Hard as I tried, I was unable to resume the dream that was interrupted. I don’t know if I dreamt at all that night. I just knew I could not stop thinking about him.
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My sister had been getting stronger every day and 3 weeks after major surgery, she was ready to come home. She had passed all the doctors’ tests with flying colors. She would be staying in the office-turned-guest room so she would not have to go up and down the stairs. It was the office before Dad added on a commercial style kitchen and office space for his catering business.Mom had spent a lot of time at the hospital the past week. I think she was a lot more scared by the surgery than she wanted to admit. Naturally, she was scared. It was her child and a million things could have gone wrong. She had been fussing over the room for days when she was home.Mom and Dad went to pick her up and I stayed home with Connor. He was so excited that his mommy was coming home and he asked me to help him make a special card while they were gone.I cut out hearts and he drew a picture. He glued the hearts onto the page and wrote a note in scented marker. I was impressed with his artistic ability. This wasn’t the first time I had seen his artwork. He was very talented, much more advanced than his 6 years would imply.Connor had chosen decorations in green and blue, his mom’s favorite colors, and he had picked out a bouquet of brightly colored Gerber daisies and asked Dad to make her favorite snacks. He picked out a giant stuffed blue bear and Dad made a special cake. We had probably gone overboard with decorating the night before, but this was Connor’s event and we let him be in charge. Personally, I think he did an amazing job for his first event.The guys all arrived in time to help me set out all the food. I was surprised to see Minhyuk, but it made sense. He was part of the crew now, and Connor adored him. It was hard acting normal around him. Every time our hands would touch or our eyes would meet, I wanted to feel his lips against mine again. I wanted to feel their softness… their heat.I remembered how he had tasted, like cherries. His scent was fresh like sea salt, a little spicy, slightly woodsy, and clean. It was intoxicating. I caught myself watching him talk to Connor and felt a swell of emotion that caught me by surprise. I turned away just in time to see them pulling in the driveway.“They are here!” I almost screamed. Connor jumped up and down, repeating what I had said. He ran to the door to be the first one to greet Clara. He threw open the door and Hyungwon and I stood behind him. As soon as they finished parking and started closing the garage door, Connor wanted to run to her, but I held him back. “Give her a minute, baby,” I admonished him.He could not stand still and as soon as her door opened, he was gone. Hyungwon too. He went to help her get out. I stayed back because there were too many people already around her, and too many people waiting for her. We had told her about the party, so she knew what to expect. You just don’t throw a surprise party for someone who just had open heart surgery. Not recommended.Clara and her entourage made their way to the interior door. She did not fully have her strength back and she was very sore. No one was rushing her, except maybe Connor. Hyungwon helped her to the comfy chair in the den and the guys all came to hug her. They weren’t full hugs, considering her chest had just been cut open, but they counted.She looked around the room and smiled. Connor beamed beside her and when I told her it was all him, tears welled up in her eyes. Seeing that made me get all misty-eyed too. Minhyuk appeared by my side with a tissue and then handed one to Clara. He introduced himself again, in person this time.We ate, we laughed, we talked. I could see Mom looked both relaxed and nervous at the same time. I was sure she was relieved to have her home, but also knew there was a long road ahead. I would be around for about 5 more weeks, so I was hoping her recovery would continue at this pace.Clara grew tired quickly, so I shooed the guys out the door. Hyungwon was the only one I could not get rid of. He helped us get her settled in her bed and then he left. Connor climbed in with her, being careful not to hurt her. The rest of us cleaned up. There were a lot of changes happening in the Song household. Clara was having to make the more difficult ones. Her diet had to change, her stress level had to change, her schedule had to change. Mom followed the doctor’s recommendations to the letter when preparing meals. Clara was having a hard time accepting that she had to basically change her whole lifestyle.“Clara. Just shut up,” I said in frustration. “Do you want to have a heart attack?”“Well of course not!” she shot back.“Then just stop!” She had complained about everything since she came home. The bed was too soft. Her pillows were flat. The temperature was hot. It was too cold. The food on her special diet sucked. It was getting on my nerves and I was over it.“It is so easy for you. You don’t have to turn your life upside down!” Her voice was getting louder and she was getting upset.“This is exactly what you are not supposed to be doing. You have to lower your stress levels. This is not that.”She huffed and crossed her arms. “Do you really think I don’t know that? It is not that easy.”“Well, it is in some ways. You have to change the way you think about things. Your pillows are too flat? Then fluff them. Don’t growl at me about it. Or ask someone to fluff them. It probably isn’t good for you to reach around like that. My point is, it is OK to ask for help.” More pouting. I pulled a chair up beside the bed and sat down, propping my elbows on the bed. Softly I said, “you are my big sister. I have looked up to you my entire life. I love you. I want you to be around for a long long time.”“This is so hard,” tears formed in her eyes.“I know it is, but we are all going to help you. If you need to vent, that is ok. But griping and complaining non-stop is not the answer. I know you got Mom’s stubborn streak. But this will kill you. Do you understand that? Connor has already lost one parent. He can’t handle losing you too.” I was on the verge of tears too, especially when I remembered his bad dream a few nights ago.“Wow, you went straight for the guilt trip!” she said through tears. I moved to sit on the edge of the bed so I could hold my sister. I rocked her and we cried together. Mom poked her head in to check on us and saw what a mess we were. She came and pulled us both into her arms.I felt like that was a turning point for Clara. From that point, she became less resistant to the changes. She asked for help when needed. The diet thing? Well that was still a struggle. Clara was used to eating on the go, so it was a lot of unhealthy fast food or quick to-go meals. She ate with our parents when she could, but it wasn’t that often. Mom was Connor’s babysitter, so he got to eat well. Clara usually didn’t eat when she came to get him.Hyungwon came by a few times with work things. That was another piece of the puzzle that she would have to work through. Clara was dedicated to her clients. She fought hard for them, and it showed in her success. Between the two of them, they were constantly busy. She had made it a point to take a vacation every year, which she usually spent with me in LA.She had been talking with Hyungwon about how to manage things in their office. I overheard them one evening when he had come over.“Maybe I could take a backseat and let you try all the cases for a while. I think that would help me stay more calm and level,” she had told him.“Are you sure? I don’t want to step on your toes. You like doing things a certain way, and I can’t do ‘your way’. I have to do mine,” he countered.“I know that. It will be really hard to let go and give you full control, but I know I have to do something. Unless I sell my half of the partnership, I don’t see any other option right now.”“OK then. But I want it in writing,” he smiled at her. She squeezed his cheeks on either side of his mouth, pushing his lips out, then she kissed him. I wasn’t trying to spy, but they were not trying to hide from me… just Mom and Dad.“Excuse me, could you do that somewhere else?” I stuck my tongue out at them and they laughed shyly. “Mom is coming, break!” I whispered loudly and they jumped apart guiltily. I knew Mom knew, but Clara didn’t. Neither of us was going to say anything. Mom would wait until Clara was ready to tell her.“My angel, are you hungry?” Mom called to her as she came to the door.“No, I am not really hungry, but I need to take my medicine so I probably should eat a little snack or something.” She moved to get up and Hyungwon was by her side immediately. Mom and I exchanged a quick glance.Mom had made a light lunch for us all and encouraged Clara to eat it. By “encouraged”, I mean guilted. She guilted Clara into eating. It was a good thing though, because she had not been eating very well since she got home. Part of it was the anesthesia, part was the new diet. She had lost about 20 pounds since she went into the hospital. I wanted to see her gain it back. She didn’t look healthy enough.That night I went to watch the guys practice again. I told Clara she could go when she felt up to it, but not yet. Wonnie came to practice, but his heart wasn’t in it. I think he was worried about Clara too.I sat in the front and watched, listened, danced a little, and cheered them on. It took me back to the days when Kyun and Honey had jam sessions in their dorm room. I did the exact same thing then. Only I was sober this time.Minhyuk was playing the sax that night. It was super sexy and I had a hard time not watching him the whole time. He seemed to be playing just for me, and that made it even worse. By the end of the evening I was in bad shape. I wanted him even more now. I always had a soft spot for musicians, and the sax was one of my favorites. No way I was going to tell him that.They had a short practice that time. Hyungwon was distracted and things just weren’t smooth. They argued a lot and it just wasn’t fun for them like the last time. I was enjoying myself immensely though. I had seven of the most gorgeous men on the planet playing music just for me. I didn’t care for the arguing, but even that was kinda hot. I saw a different side of Minhyuk than I had seen before.He was passionate and driven. I liked that. I identified with those qualities. Maybe that was one of the reasons I was drawn to him. After practice, they apologized to each other and hugged. We went to eat together. I called Clara to check on her and Mom answered. She told me she was sleeping. I told her I would be home soon and asked if she needed anything. As usual, she didn’t.They sat us in one of those huge semi-circle booths. It was the only spot they had that would fit 8 people. The men let me in first. At the time, that seemed very gentlemanly of them. Then I realized I would be trapped in the middle. There were worse things I suppose. Kyun slipped in to my left and I thought Honey was going to come in on the right, but he pushed Minhyuk to scoot in first. He nodded politely, almost a bow, and smiled.I took a deep breath and repeated those words I was so sick of hearing, off limits. I had a quick conversation with myself. Would it be so bad? I am going back soon after school starts. We can keep it a secret. Would that make it hotter, being secret?These thoughts kept coming in rapid fire. I realized I had been looking at him the whole time and hoped he couldn’t read my mind. I suspected maybe he could with the expression on his face. He was almost smirking at me and it was incredibly sexy. That must be the theme of the night. Sexy.I sighed and smiled back. We had lots of good conversation that night. Minhyuk and I got to know each other a bit more. He talked about his younger brother and his family. I could see he missed them a lot. He hadn’t been back to Korea to see them in a long time. He said he was planning to go the next summer when they were on break. He seemed very excited.I could understand all of that. I had been separated from my family for two years. I missed them terribly and I was dreading going back to LA because of it. But I had made a life out there and needed to get back to it. I grew sad for a moment and Kyun noticed. He squeezed my hand and smiled softly. He knew exactly why and that warmed my heart. I was so thankful to have him as my best friend.Kyun drove me home after dinner and he brought it up first. “So what is the deal with you two? Is it happening or not?”It was pointless to play dumb with him, so I just answered. “Not. It can’t.”“Why not? It is obvious you like each other. What is the hold up?”“Connor,” I said matter of factly. “I don’t want to put him in that position. I don’t want his classmates to accuse him of Mr. Lee giving him special treatment.”“Do you really think he can’t remain impartial?”“It isn’t that so much as with how Connor is, it can already come across that way. He is just so different than the other kids. He is smarter, more mature, and just different. It will already set him apart and I just can’t do that to him.” He was quiet for a moment as he considered my words.“I think you are being overly cautious. I mean, I understand. I really do. But I think you are being a bit ridiculous.” His words stung.“Well let’s see how you react when one of your student’s mothers wants you.”“They already do, babe. You were too focused in your own thing the other night to notice, but they flirt with me all the time. They flirt with Minhyuk all the time too. And Shownu. We are the most popular teachers, or coach in Shownu’s case, in the school.”“Have you ever dated one of them? Or let it go past flirting?”“I did once. In the beginning, before I realized…” his words trailed off.“Realized what?” He sighed.“OK, maybe you aren’t being ridiculous,” I smiled when I saw him working it out in his head. “I realized she was trying to get in my good graces for her kid.” The memory was obviously not a good one.“Exactly. I will not do that to him. I will just suffer.” He laughed.“What is the female version of ‘blue balls’?” We both laughed so hard that he had to pull off the road. When we settled down, he took my hand. “You have my blessing if you ever can work it out. He is a really good guy and I would trust him to be with you. You are family to me and I would not hand you over to just anyone,” he winked.He dropped me off without coming inside. I said hello to Mom and Dad then poked my head in to see if Connor was asleep and he was. Then I went to check on Clara. She was sitting in the chair, reading.“Hey sis, how are you feeling tonight?”“I am bored out of my mind,” she replied, throwing her head back against the chair.“It won’t be long before you’ll be able to start moving around and doing more things. But for now, you are stuck with doctor’s appointments and PT.”“I know, I know. I have been tempted to watch K-dramas, but I really don’t want to get sucked into that. I would rather read. I haven’t had time to read for a while, so I am enjoying that part very much. But I don’t like being forced into it.” Clara was not one to be told what to do. She and Mom had gotten into it many times when we were younger. Both of them being headstrong and stubborn made for some very loud evenings at our house. I can’t say that I didn’t have my moments too though.“Look at this as a chance to reset and start fresh. You were telling me how you wanted to have time for a life and to do things with Connor, so now is your chance to make that happen. You’ve already started, whether you realize it or not.” She looked at me and after several blinks, I saw her expression shift. It was like everything I had just said finally registered.“You know, you are right. I’ve been wishing for my life back, but before this I was wishing for my life back.” I knew exactly what she meant. I patted her hand.“Well, I think you’ve got it. Now come on, let’s go for a walk down the sidewalk. It feels great outside.” She got up carefully and walked with me. I told Mom what we were doing and she nodded.We didn’t go far. I wasn’t going to push her, but she was supposed to be walking and trying to get stronger. It was too hot and humid during the day, so we had been walking in the evenings. We went a little further each night, measuring in houses. Tonight we made it to the 4th house then turned back.I was really proud of her progress. She was getting stronger each day, and she was determined to get past it. It seemed like she was on track, or even ahead of it, so I wasn’t too worried. She was too stubborn to let it keep her down. I had 4 weeks left on my ‘vacation’. I had to make sure she would be OK without the extra help.Instead of going back to her room, Clara wanted to sit with Mom and Dad in the den when we got back. They were watching some historical documentary that did not look very interesting to me, so I said goodnight and went to my cave.I showered off because I felt sticky and gross, then climbed into bed. Kyun had sent me a link to their new Youtube channel. They had been recording their practices and just started posting them on the app that afternoon. I was the first follower who wasn’t in the group. I decided to watch some of them.That turned out to be a bad idea. Minhyuk was there, looking all sexy, showing off, looking into the camera, smiling, smirking. All of them put on a great performance, even during practice. They loved what they were doing and it showed. They were always ‘on’ when they played.But seeing him in these videos was not helping me maintain my resolve. It was actually chipping away at it. 4 more weeks, I reminded myself. I could do this. One month. It would be over before I knew it. Four. More. Weeks.
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Connor started school and loved it. He felt like such a big boy. He had started to make friends and I couldn’t be more thrilled. He came home every night talking non-stop about his classmates and Mr. Lee. He brought home artwork and Mom proudly displayed it on the fridge for all to see.I hadn’t seen Minhyuk in over a week. I had missed practice this week because I was hanging out with my sister. She wanted to get out of the house, so she and I went to the park for our walk. She was much stronger now and able to walk quite a bit before getting tired.She told me that things had gotten more serious with Hyungwon and they had actually started talking about a future together. She was scared and excited, but not ready for marriage. She said he wasn’t either.“Connor loves him, so I am not worried about that,” she said. “But I am worried about working together and being together.”“But you’ve been working together and ‘being’ together for over a year now.”“Yes, but it was still very casual. It isn’t now.”“Are you gonna tell Mom?”“Eventually.”“She’ll figure it out.”“I know. She probably already has. You know how she is.”“Mmhmm,” I mumbled. I hated not telling her Mom did know, but that was their conversation to have.The conversation drifted to me and Minhyuk. She asked where things stood with us.“They don’t stand anywhere,” I replied.“What do you mean? Clearly you are into each other. Is he holding back?”“No, it is me. I thought it was him at first, but it is me.” I explained about the “boundaries” and she shook her head at me.“Silly Hannah, since when do you not speak up? How did you let any misunderstanding come between you? That is out of character for you.”“Everything is upside down with him. I am upside down. I can’t stop thinking about him, no matter how hard I try.”“Maybe it is because you think you can’t have him.”“Forbidden fruit?” I was beginning to see more clearly.“Yeah. Forbidden fruit. Since you can’t have him, you want him more.”“So you are saying if I give in, it will stop. If I just let things happen, when I go back to LA he will be out of my system.”“Something like that. If that is really what it is, then yes.” Her argument made total sense.“Hmm. But I still worry about Connor. I don’t want to mess things up for him.”“I appreciate that. But I think he will be OK. You won’t even be here.”“That is a good point. I just don’t know. I need to think hard on this.” We had made two laps around the walking path and it was time to head back to the car. I could see she was getting tired. “Let’s get back. It is almost Connor’s bedtime. He will stay up waiting if you aren’t home.”We got back just in time for her to tuck him in. Papa stayed to tell him a story, and I went to do some yoga. I needed to think. I needed to clear my mind. I changed into a comfortable t-shirt and leggings and pulled my hair into a messy bun. I rolled out my mat and put on some soft music for background.I felt my muscles taking in oxygen as they pulled and stretched. It felt good. I was able to focus my breathing and clear my head. It was the first time in days I had been able to do that. I spent extra time that night since I had missed a few nights lately.When I finished I was sweating so I hopped in the shower. My clarity was short-lived because the water flowing over my body brought back the memory of the dream of wet Minhyuk. I felt my body flush and grow warm. I adjusted the temperature of the water to cool myself down.I had finally adjusted to the time difference and was getting sleepy at a decent hour. I decided to read for a bit first so I made some chamomile tea and settled in with my book. I didn’t even get halfway through the chapter before I fell asleep. I dreamed of Connor. He was smiling and laughing in his classroom. That’s all I remembered. After we dropped Connor at school the next morning, Clara and I went to a coffee shop to kill some time before her appointment with her cardiologist. I had a caramel macchiato and she had a matcha latte. It was great hanging out with my sister again. I had missed these simple moments, but I didn’t realize just how much. We laughed, we talked about the men, and we talked about how her life was changing.“Just a few weeks ago I was in front of a judge and jury several days a week. I was buried in paperwork. I was working crazy hours. Now suddenly that has stopped. Overnight, pretty much. It is weird, but…” she paused.“But what?” I asked.“But I feel guilty.”“Why?” I laughed.“Because I like it. I feel guilty because I like being able to spend time with my son, my sister, and my family. I like having a life… of sorts.” She sighed and lowered her head.“Clara, that is no reason to feel guilty. You should enjoy those things,” I reasoned.“Says the control freak… I have dedicated my life to the law. I am good at what I do. I care for my clients and do my absolute best for them. I thought it would be hard to take a break, but I almost don’t want to go back to it. I love being able to tuck Connor in every night. So many nights he was asleep when I came home. Dad carries him to the car when I pick him up, but I have to wake him to get him in the house. He is just too big now for me to carry like that.”“Maybe you need to reevaluate your career and how you fit into it. It is a good time to reset.” I lifted my cup and held it out. She lifted hers, and we toasted to her new ‘life’.“In other news, I need to borrow a dress for the dance.”“Are we back in high school?” she laughed.“I am co-chaperoning with Kyun. I didn’t come prepared for anything like this and I don’t want to buy a dress.”“I am sure we can come up with something. I think we are still pretty close to the same size. They might be a little short on you though.”“As long as my ass isn’t showing, it should be OK. Although that might be interesting to see who’s attention I catch,” I wiggled my eyebrows and we giggled.Her appointment went well. She was healing beautifully. She still had a couple of weeks before she could return to work. After the appointment, we had a light lunch and went to a matinée. We hadn’t done that in years. It was a romantic comedy with one of our favorite actors. After that, we went to her apartment to pick out a dress for me.She hadn’t been here in several days. I had come by and watered her plants a few times so they were still alive. She started pulling out all kinds of dresses. Some were too formal, some too sexy, and some too boring. Then I spotted it. It was a red sheath dress in a silky crepe material. It had an ornately beaded “illusion” neckline, was fitted all the way with princess seams to make it fit well in all the right places, and a sexy back center slit. It was classy, low-key sexy, and red. Perfect. She had the perfect beaded shoes to go with it.I tried on the dress and it fit perfectly. Clara was cat calling from the edge of the bed as I modeled the outfit. It was a high school dance, so I didn’t want to show much skin, but I also didn’t want to be frumpy. I felt confident that we nailed it.We picked up the little dude and went for ice cream. We grabbed individual pints to take home for everyone. Rocky Road was Dad’s favorite, and mom loved her vanilla bean. Connor was a fan of cookie dough, Clara savored her mocha chip, and I was torn between mango and strawberry cheesecake, so I got both. I could save one for later. Clara just shook her head at me.I stashed our treats in the freezer when we got home so we could have a little celebration of Clara’s good report after dinner. Mom made grilled chicken and roasted veggies for dinner. It was lighter than her usual meals, but it was for Clara. It was actually delicious. Even Connor liked it.We watched a movie together and ate our ice cream. I decided on the strawberry cheesecake one. I only ate a little and saved the rest for another time. Dad ate all of his and tried to go for Connor’s, but he got blocked. Connor did let him have a bite but that was all. He pretended to pout and it made the kid laugh. A couple of days later, I borrowed Dad’s Suburban and Clara and I went to pick up the supplies I had ordered for the party event I was planning. I had partnered with Dad for the catering, but I had ordered the decorations and rented the furniture. The siblings were having the party in the backyard at one of their homes.The yard was level and had a large patio area and fountain. It would be held at night, and I had plans to light up the courtyard with fairy lights and LED candles. I would also place tiki torches and repellent fans around to ward off the mosquitoes.Clara was getting into it and had some great ideas and suggestions. I told her she would have been good at this. We loaded up and headed to the client’s home. I had a crew coming to help with set up. We arrived about 30 minutes early so I could talk to the clients. They were very excited about the event.The set up crew arrived right on time and began placing the tables and chairs at my direction. Clara and I jumped in to help, placing tablecloths and centerpieces. I kept an eye on her to make sure she did not strain herself.We let the crew do the heavy lifting, that is what I was paying them for, and just went behind them to rearrange things the way I wanted. I have a certain way I like things, and it is hard to convey exactly what my vision is sometimes. At times, I don’t see it fully until things are getting placed. Some call me a control freak. I prefer the term ‘one with extreme attention to detail’.It was very hot and I hoped the evening would cool down. Clara and I were sticky and sweaty. Finally, everything was in place. We stepped back and took a look at the overall scene. It was perfect. It was a fairytale garden, just like I had in my head. Clara gasped when she saw it complete.“Wow, I forgot how this feels.”“This is why I do it.” The clients walked up and were in awe.“Hannah, this is better than I could have imagined. You never disappoint! I can’t wait to see what delicacies you have coming. I can’t believe I got the whole Song family package again!” I smiled and thanked them, happy that they had remembered me after so many years.Dad pulled up in the catering truck just then. Michelle and Charlie hopped out as well as 2 helpers. They worked swiftly and efficiently setting up the food in the designated areas. I had left placards for each of the dishes, with an understanding that some things might need to be shifted or even moved once they placed the food. I trusted my dad’s judgement though, just not anyone else’s.We did a final walk-through and the clients were thrilled. They paid the remainder of their fee plus a bonus, then Clara and I went on our way. I planned to split the bonus between her and Dad. The crew would be by the next morning to clean up and return the rentals. Dad would keep the decorations and lights that I had to buy.Clara commented how much she had enjoyed that. When we got home that night, she couldn’t stop talking about it. I told her she had her chance, but picked the law instead. She laughed and admitted I was right. Mid-morning 2 days later, I got a call from the school. Connor had fallen on the playground and scraped his knee and his elbow. The nurse said it was not serious, but she was concerned about his reaction. Clara and I shared a confused look.She said he was laughing and excited instead of crying or screaming. She asked that I come right away. I had put the call on speaker so my sister could hear too. I said we were on our way and we rushed over.We found the nurse’s office and spotted him sitting holding his elbow to his face so he could see it. There was a rather large bandage on it. His shirt and pants were dirty too. He saw us and looked up with a huge smile, announcing, “I got a boo-boo on the playground!”Clara was smiling too. It took me a moment to catch on. “Oh baby, are you ok?” she went in to inspect the arm and kiss his forehead.“Yes mommy, I just scraped my elbow. But I was playing with my friends on the playground!” he said with obvious pride.Clara looked at the nurse who had a very concerned look on her face. She told her, “the reason he is excited is because he has never had friends who would let him play with them before. He was bullied in Kindergarten, quite severely.” The nurse began to nod her head as she realized there was no reason to be concerned. Connor considered it a badge of honor.The nurse let him go home with us anyway. As we walked the long hallway to the main doors, he was telling us about the game they were playing and how he had fallen. I stopped in my tracks as a vision appeared before me. It was almost slow motion how he stepped into the hall, running his fingers through his hair. He smiled when he saw me. I couldn’t breathe.He spoke first, “well hello, Ms. Song.” He was being formal and polite since we were at school, but it still sounded sexy. Seeing him again reminded me of my conversation with Clara a few days ago. Forbidden Fruit, indeed.“Oh hello, Mr. Lee. It is very nice to see you.” Lame. So lame.“I was coming to check on Connor. I didn’t expect them to call you for a scrape. Was he hurt worse than we realized?” his expression changed to concern as he dropped to a knee to examine the boy more closely. My heart melted a little more.Clara explained the situation and Minhyuk… Edward tousled Connor’s hair and smiled.“That is something to be proud of, Connor. I hope you get some ice cream too,” he winked and Connor pulled his little fists to his face and giggled.“I still have a pint of mango in the freezer. You guys can get whatever you want,” I waved my hand in the air as I dismissed the thought.“Mango is my favorite!” Minhyuk exclaimed. I thought to myself, of course it is. How can you keep getting better?He walked us to the car and helped Connor get inside and buckled up. He touched my arm as he said goodbye to us and turned to go back inside. I lingered a bit too long on the view and Clara coughed to get my attention.“Nope, there is nothing there at all,” she said with a knowing grin. We buckled our seatbelts and drove to Cold Stone Creamery.
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Clara was back to part time hours at the firm and trying to take it easy as much as possible. It was proving to be difficult for her already. There was a lot of pressure from the partners, even though they claimed to be understanding. She had always given them her all, and now she couldn’t. They didn’t quite get it.She was still staying with Mom and Dad, and probably would for a few weeks after I went back. I was leaving in just over a week. That night was the dance, which I was oddly excited about. I felt like I was the high schooler.I loaded up Mom and Clara and we went to the salon. I had made appointments at their regular salon when I found out about the dance. I had planned to wait until I got home. Dad took Connor to do guy stuff for the day, so we had a girl date.I needed my highlights touched up and a trim, and Clara’s black had grown out and her red roots were showing. It actually looked kinda cool, but she hated it. Mom just wanted hers shaped up a bit, no color.“My angel, why do you hide your fiery locks?” mom asked Clara as we drove.“Because judges and juries take me more seriously with black hair. One of the partners’ wives suggested it years ago. She wasn’t wrong,” came the reply.“I think your natural color would be an asset. People know not to mess with redheads,” I winked.“Sadly, I won’t be trying any cases for a while. Hyungwon will be handling all of them. I will be working behind the scenes and helping him prep.”“That is good news. I want you to do everything the doctors say,” Mom added as she patted Clara’s hand.We were all seated with our stylists and Clara surprised us by asking for a burgundy color all over. We looked at her in shock.“What? I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but couldn’t. Now I can,” she grinned. Mom and I looked at each other, not sure if we should be worried or not. Clara had never been impulsive. She planned everything. She followed the rules. Connor was just like her in so many ways.I asked the stylist to style me with beach waves, instead of my usual straight hair. She nailed it and gave me exactly the sexy look I was after. It was a nice change from the norm for me. I wondered how Minhyuk would like it and then shook my head. Stop. Just stop!Clara and I talked while I got ready. I wore a black silk thong and strapless bra with thigh high stockings. I stepped into the dress and pulled it up onto my shoulders. Clara zipped the back. I donned dainty rhinestone earrings and a matching bracelet. I colored my lips with a deep red lipstick that went well with my skin tone, and tucked my hair behind my right ear as I stepped back to get a look at the full package.I twirled around carefully so that I didn’t fall in the skinny heels. Clara told me I was going to kill the men. I reminded her there would be teenagers there. She said they would not be paying attention to me. They would be ogling the teenage girls. I looked back over my shoulder into the mirror and liked what I saw.Changkyun called to tell me he was 5 minutes away. I grabbed my wrap and clutch and headed downstairs. Dad and Connor were waiting for me and they both said, “wow.” I giggled shyly. Mom popped around the corner with her camera and made me pose for pictures.“Mom, I am not going to prom. I am chaperoning with Kyunnie.”“I know, but you just look so lovely I can’t help it,” she gushed.A knock on the door signaled Kyun’s arrival. He opened the door and stepped inside. His jaw dropped when he saw me.“Noona, you are stunning,” he said in a loud whisper. I curtsied.“Thank you, Kynnie.” He held out his arm and I took it.“I will have her back by midnight,” he joked to my dad.“Keep her all night, if you want. You guys have fun!” Mom teased.In the car, Kyun commented, “if we had not already established that we are better as friends, I would be having some issues right now.” I felt my cheeks heat up at his implication.“I guess it is good that we did that then,” I said a bit awkwardly.“Our friend is going to have a hard time staying within your ‘boundaries’, you know.”“Do you think so? That wasn’t the intention. I had to borrow a dress from Clara. This was the best one for the occasion.”“It isn’t just the dress. It is you. Something seems different tonight. You are…,” he searched for the word, “alluring.”I smiled and pursed my lips, “alluring. I like it. It sounds very ‘old Hollywood’.”He parked in the faculty parking area and motioned for me to wait for him to come around. I gathered my things as he walked to my side. My dress slid up, exposing a decent amount of thigh, as I turned to get out of the seat. Kyun used his body to block the view. Always the gentleman.I took his arm as he escorted me inside. We arrived early, as did the other chaperons and staff. Kyun held his head high as we passed through the decorated doorway. I felt eyes on me as we went to check in. I noticed some of the other women were wearing very understated, mother-of-the-bride type dresses or pantsuits. They were very matronly and boring. Some were downright frumpy.It didn’t bother me. They could have kicked it up a notch if they had wanted to. I wasn’t there to impress them. I was there to chaperon. What exactly does a chaperon do? I wondered, a bit late since I was there already. I caught myself scanning the room for him. I forced my attention back to Changkyun. He was my official date, after all.Hyungwon had agreed to DJ the event. They paid him a nominal fee, so it was almost volunteering. Kyun had asked him to do it. They didn’t have a large budget for this. It was a special thing they were trying out. Administrators were looking for ways to increase student interest. They hoped this would get them to meet each other in a more fun environment.He was doing a sound check so I walked over to say hello while Kyun helped with a banner that had fallen. He smiled when he saw me. We chatted for a minute and then I left him to play with his sound boards. I turned around and there was Minhyuk on the other side of the room.My breath caught in my chest. He wore a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, with a black vest and tie. He stood with one hand in his pocket, leaning on the opposite foot. He looked like a model. I was sure my jaw hit the floor. His hair was styled so that his forehead was partially exposed. He had been wearing it with fringe in front.His expression changed when he saw me. Desire? Was that what I saw? I wasn’t sure, but it made me feel all fluttery and warm inside, whatever it was. I smiled at him and he smiled back. It was a slow smile that pulled to the left a bit at first. He started walking toward me and the closer he got, the warmer I felt.Finally he stood in front of me. I wanted to touch him, to kiss him, but instead I smiled and played with my hair. We just stood there for what felt like minutes, neither making any move to step away or to even speak. Changkyun was suddenly there, putting his arms around us both.“It is nice to see you guys getting along so well,” he winked. “Let’s go get something to drink. I think everything is ready to go. Hannah, I will introduce you to the people you need to meet.”Minhyuk and I each muttered something like “see you later,” or something. I don’t even know what I said. Our eyes didn’t lose contact for a couple of seconds after we started walking away. Normally, I remember people’s names easily. I have to because of my business. But that night, I couldn’t tell you anyone’s name. Except Courtney, the one who had been flirting with Minhyuk at the carnival. Her name I remembered.Kyun told me later that her daughter was a cheerleader and had tried out for the swimteam, but didn’t make the cut. She wasn’t very good at cheer either. He said he felt bad for the girl because he felt like her mother was pushing her into the things she had been good at in school.That made me like her even less. You should encourage your children, not push them to be like you, or use them to fill a hole because you couldn’t fill it yourself. I fought back a scowl because someone else was approaching. It was Dean Whitlock.Changkyun introduced me as his best friend and the only woman who would put up with him long enough to come to one of these things. That made the man laugh. He had a nice hearty laugh. He was Santa-esque, plump, red nosed, and jovial. I liked him immediately.The kids had begun filtering in. They had to pre-register and now they were checking in. Hyungwon had already started the music and was grooving on the platform. The dance floor was getting more full by the minute. The line for refreshments was also growing. I spotted a couple of teachers dancing off to the side, poorly. But they were having fun. That is what mattered. You don’t have to be good at something to enjoy doing it.I was tired of standing and didn’t want my feet to start complaining too early, so I excused myself and went to sit down close to the dance floor. I had my chaperon badge and was able to see the crowd quite well from where I was planted. A moment later, Minhyuk sat beside me. He leaned forward slightly and smiled. I could not help but smile back. “This is a nice party. The kids look like they are having fun,” he observed.“They really do. Some of the teachers as well,” I gestured to the couple that were dancing badly.“Oh that is Michael and Elizabeth. He teaches middle school English. Elizabeth is an art teacher. They are married.”“Ah, that explains a lot,” I nodded my head. Kyun appeared and sat on the other side of me.“Let’s dance, Hannah,” he held out his hand expectantly. I was kinda feeling the music, so I took it and grabbed Minhyuk as we stood up. The three of us danced like fools, much to the excitement of Kyun’s students. Most kids get embarrassed when their teacher does something like that, but he had a reputation for being the cool teacher. His kids loved him and welcomed him. It didn’t hurt that he was one hell of a dancer.Apparently Minhyuk was too, because the two of them were doing the choreo for the song that was playing. The students pulled back and gave them the floor. I stepped back as well to watch the spectacle.When they had finished, the students applauded and moved back in to dance to the next song.“Wow, you guys are really good dancers,” I said loud enough for them to hear over the music. I already knew this about my best friend, but I was trying to compliment Minhyuk without being obvious. He smiled shyly. I joined in, dancing with them both. I had to remember that I was in the company of underage people, so I had to keep it clean and not get sexy. It was hard because I wanted to dirty dance with Minhyuk.The song ended and a slow one started. Much of the floor cleared, but several couples paired up. I turned to sit, but Kyun grabbed my wrist, “where do you think you are going?” He pulled me back so that I fell against his chest. He positioned us in a traditional waltz position and we moved in time to the beat.A tap on Kyun’s shoulder made him turn. It was Minhyuk, “may I cut in?” he asked.Kyun winked and stepped aside, handing me over to him with a bow. I grew nervous suddenly, like it was my first slow dance with a boy. He placed one hand on my waist and held the other for me to place mine in. His hands were so large that mine looked tiny.He pulled me close, but not too close for the situation, and his scent filled my nostrils. He smelled so good. I wanted to pull him all the way against me and lay my head on his chest. I just wanted to melt into his arms.“You look absolutely stunning. You have been turning heads all night,” he said in my ear. His breath tickled and I felt it in places it wasn’t touching. My knees grew weak and I was thankful for his hand on me. “And you smell delicious,” his words made my knees give way a bit. He tightened his grip and now we were completely pressed against each other. I could feel that he was as turned on as I was and that did not help matters at all.I felt like I was falling and he was the only thing keeping me steady. When he pulled back and smiled that sexy halfway smile at me, I was done for. I got lost in his eyes. I had heard the term ‘swoon’ and I had watched many a femme fatale do it in the old films I loved, but never had I experienced it. I swooned.The song ended not a moment too soon, but we remained in our embrace. The dance floor filled again and we were jostled. That is when we finally broke apart and moved from our place. I excused myself to the ladies’ room. I seriously needed to regain my composure. Internally I was a wreck. Outside, I looked perfectly put together.I touched up my lips and smoothed my hair and dress, then took a deep breath and went back. The rest of the evening was fun. We danced, we kept an eye on the kids, and we drank punch. The kids stayed in line and no one had to be reprimanded for anything. The three of us took an “official” photo together. We actually did 2, a serious one and a silly one. The kids that were in line all giggled. Apparently we were a hit.Courtney tried to get Minhyuk’s attention all night. She asked him to dance, brought him punch, fixed his collar, and tried to get too close. I imagined slamming her to the ground like in a Wrestlemania match. I smiled. Maybe I just need to get him out of my system. I am leaving in a few days. I shook my head to clear the temptation.The music had stopped and the kids had cleared out. The lights were up and we were ready to leave. The janitorial staff would be cleaning up the next day. They were given bonuses when they volunteered to clean up after special events.Kyun was a bit wound up. He must have been in a really good mood that day, or he was up to something. I wasn’t sure which. He suggested we go for coffee or drinks next. I wanted to draw the evening out as much as possible, so I agreed. Minhyuk said he would go as well and we let Kyun pick the place. I texted Mom so she wouldn’t worry. It really did feel like I was back in high school.He chose a piano bar about 15 minutes away. Minhyuk rode with us. He took the back seat and grinned, saying he loved feeling like he had a driver. Kyun shot him a look that made him laugh.The place was busy, but not overly crowded. We were seated at a cozy table with a great view of the stage. It was large enough for a baby grand and a small ensemble of instruments. There was a small swing band performing that night. I loved that style. Kyun used to play it and I would sing along.Staying with the theme of the place, I ordered their signature Cosmopolitan, which was a classic drink. I was very much in that kind of mood. I felt sexy and very much like those femme fatale characters.Minhyuk said he didn’t drink well, but he decided to try what I was having. The drink is quite tasty and deceptive. After our second round, I was really getting into the feel of the room. I was singing along, apparently loudly based on the looks I was getting, but I didn’t care.The band noticed as well and the singer invited me to come up on stage. Kyun and Minhyuk cheered me on. I went for it. He held out his hand to help me up and asked which song I wanted to sing. I thought for a second and said, “Fever” with a wink. He smiled and turned to the band to give them direction.The lights dimmed and a smoke machine kicked on. I took the microphone stand in my hands and smiled to the audience, trying to spot my dates. The Ella Fitzgerald version was my favorite, but I liked to give it my own flair. The bass began its deep rhythm and I closed my eyes, getting into the moment. I hadn’t sung in front of an audience since college, and I wasn’t tipsy then. I opened my eyes as I channeled my inner Ella. I found Minhyuk halfway through the first verse and focused on him as I sang. Never know how much I love youNever know how much I careWhen you put your arms around meI get a fever that's so hard to bearYou give me feverWhen you kiss meFever when you hold me tightFeverIn the morningFever all through the nightSun lights up the daytimeMoon lights up the nightI light up when you call my nameAnd you know I'm gonna treat you right I took the microphone out of the stand and walked to the piano. I leaned onto it, then I moved toward the player, trailing my fingers along the surface as I sang. I leaned toward him and teased with a smirk, then turned back to the audience. I focused on Minhyuk again as I continued. You give me feverWhen you kiss meFever when you hold me tightFeverIn the morningFever all through the night When I finished the song, I took a bow to the applause and Minhyuk met me at the stage and helped me down. The crowd cheered when he took me into his arms and kissed me. The band leader complimented my performance and made a suggestive comment that I tuned out. I was swept up in the moment and in the man.We returned to our table and Kyun sat in shocked silence. That didn’t last long before he stood and applauded me.“Noona, that was hot. Very freaking hot.” I smiled and thanked him. Minhyuk hadn’t taken his eyes off me, and I could still feel the kiss. We finished our drinks and headed to the car. We made sure to pass close to the stage so I could thank the band for letting me sing. They thanked me for the song. The leader said it was the best amateur performance he had seen. I curtsied and blew him a kiss. Minhyuk pretended to catch it in mid air and wagged his finger at me, mouthing ‘no’. I winked at him.We went back to Kyun’s house. It was late and I didn’t want to wake anyone. We stumbled a little as we walked from the car to the door. We were inside the garage, so no one was watching. Kyun patted my butt as I went up the short staircase and entered the kitchen. I took my shoes off and left them by the door.I started singing again and feeling my feels. Kyun said something and went upstairs. Minhyuk put his hands on my waist and pulled me against his body. I gasped from the intensity of his gaze. He slid one hand around my back, keeping me close, and the other cupped my face.He looked into my eyes as if asking permission. He must have seen it, because he lowered his head and covered my mouth with his. This time was not a soft and gentle brush of the lips. This kiss was full of passion and desire. His kiss was almost forceful, yet there was a tenderness underneath. His tongue teased my lips and I opened them for him. I felt a gush of heat in my core that radiated throughout my body. I returned his passion and our tongues danced.A whimper escaped my lips as I tangled my fingers in his hair. I had never felt like this before. I was swept away in the moment, and all my defenses were down. His lips left mine to plant hot, wet kisses down my throat. My head fell back as his hand moved from my back to my ass. He squeezed it and his other moved behind my neck. He came back to my lips.I had a sudden moment of clarity and straightened myself. He stopped when I did, but he didn’t move away. He looked into my eyes and asked if I was alright. I nodded weakly.“I… you…,” I couldn’t form the words I needed to say. He smiled softly and brushed my cheek with the backs of his fingers.“Do you want me to go?” he asked. I looked at him, confused by my own feelings, betrayed by their intensity. My brain wanted to say yes, but the rest of me screamed no. “I don't think you want me to go. You're too affected,” he whispered as he stroked my hair. “But so am I. You…,” he paused. “You do things to me. Things I don’t understand. But all you have to do is say ‘stop’ and I will. Do you want me to stop, Hannah?” He grazed my chin with his thumb, sending jolts of electricity through me.My name on his lips was music. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, “no, I don’t want you to stop.” He smiled and kissed me again. I heard footsteps and then heard Kyun say, “really? In my kitchen?”We pulled away, laughing and embarrassed. He shoved t-shirts and sweatpants at us both and said you can share the guest room if you want. I am going to be in the studio for a couple of hours,” he added with a wink.Minhyuk looked at me and smiled, cocking his head towards the stairs. He held out his hand in invitation. I kissed Kyun on the cheek, said goodnight, and took Minhyuk’s hand. We practically ran up the stairs. The last thing Kyun heard was the door slamming behind us.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I awoke to find an arm and a leg stretched across me. My first thought was to move Connor off of me so I could cool down. I had gotten used to waking up with him snuggled in with me. I turned my head and slowly opened my eyes only to see that it wasn’t Connor. I startled and sat up, the previous night flooding back into my mind.Instinctively, I raised the sheet to cover myself, but Minhyuk reached out and pulled it back down, exposing my breasts. He gave me a lazy smile and said, “there is no need to be shy now. You are beautiful.” His voice was raspy from sleep and his hair a tousled mess. His lips were plump and pouty and he looked snuggly, warm, and sexy as hell. I laid back down beside him and relaxed.He trailed his fingers down my chest and over the swell of my breast, watching me come alive at his touch. The first rays of the morning sun were creeping in through the blinds, casting its warmth in abstract shapes across the bed. I was no longer disoriented and was right where I wanted to be. I smiled back and said, “good morning, lover.” I laughed softly and turned onto my side to face him. I had always wanted to say that.His hand was warm on my porcelain skin as he held it against the curve of my hip, pulling me closer. He rested his head on my shoulder and began tracing tiny circles on my thigh. “Thank you,” he said softly as he looked up from his invisible artwork.“For what? From what I remember, we shared the work last night.” Memories of our encounter caused my body to heat up. He grinned.“For not making me leave last night. I would have, if that is what you had wanted, but I’ve been thinking about you since the moment you appeared in my doorway.” I could feel my doubtful expression and quickly looked away.“You don’t have to play me, Minhyuk.” I tried not to sound irritated. It really bothered me when guys tried to pull at my emotions to get in my bed. It worked the very first time, but I learned my lesson then. I hadn’t thought him to be that type of guy. He propped up on his elbow and looked at me with a serious expression. He put a finger under my chin and turned my head to look at him.“I am not playing you. I would never do that. I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I really don’t need to do that,” he said the last part in a way that softened the statement. He had a valid point. He was gorgeous. And I had felt the envious glares from the other women last night. He continued, “that day… the day we met… when I looked up and saw you there,” he paused, “there was light radiating from around you. I thought you were an angel. Then when you came into the light, I knew for sure that you are.”Had those words come from another man, I would have called bullshit. But they reached inside my heart and grabbed hold. I didn’t have any words to respond to that, so I kissed him instead. I poured every emotion I was feeling into that kiss, and he matched it tenfold.Last night had been full of reckless and urgent need, but the morning welcomed slow and passionate lovemaking. I felt like he touched a place inside me that had never been touched. Both physically and emotionally. I felt content. I had never felt contentment before. I had felt happy. I had felt satiated. But never content.As we lay wrapped in each other’s arms, he said softly, “I have an overwhelming urge to ask you not to go. I know you have to, and I understood the terms without us even discussing it. But I want you to stay here with me.” He stroked my hair as he spoke. Something deep inside me reacted to his words. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it was new.“I’ve been laying here trying to figure out how I can stay longer,” I confessed.“This is good. I like this very much.” He smiled at my confession. “Maybe when you are in town next time we can do it again?” his smile turned sexy.“I would like that very much,” I laughed. A loud knock sounded on the door and it opened a little.“You guys decent?” Changkyun asked as he poked his head around.“Yes,” we said in unison.“Damn, I was hoping to catch a show,” he smiled with his tongue out to the side. He jumped into the bed and scooted up between us. We both snuggled up and wrapped our arms and legs around him. I kissed his cheek and said good morning.“I texted Eomma a little while ago and told her you were OK,” he was still grinning. “She asked if you were alone.”“And you told her I wasn’t, I assume?”“I would never lie to your mother,” he looked shocked that I would question his honor. “Besides, see what she said?” he held his phone so I could see the text. It read, ‘It is about time!’ I blushed and Minhyuk laughed.“At least Eomma is in my corner,” Minhyuk winked at me.“I want to hang out with you guys today. Let’s get ready to go.” He held our hands on his chest. “I’ve already showered, so you can decide who goes first… or go together, whichever works.” Again with the evil grin.Boldly I said, “I thought you wanted us to hurry?” They both looked surprised. I winked and pushed Kyun out of the bed. “Now go so I can get up. I need to pee.”Kyun stood up and started walking to the door but paused and turned back, “Merida.” He said flatly.“Crap. I hoped you had forgotten.” Minhyuk’s confused look made me giggle. “I lost a game and I have to let my hair be its natural crazy self. You will see a whole different Hannah today.”“You’ll see my Merida today,” Changkyun added with a wink. “Or is she your Merida now?” I threw a pillow at him. He laughed and shut the door.“Merida?” he asked.“When Kyunnie and I first met in college, my hair was very curly and wild and it was a lot more red than now. Plus I am Irish. So he started calling me Merida, like the animated character.” He nodded in understanding.“I am intrigued. I kinda want to meet Merida,” he grinned and winked. “I bet she is a wild one.”Later that day, he did meet Merida. I showered at Kyun’s house, alone, and just let my hair do its own thing to some degree. I used some of Kyun’s product and scrunched it while drying it because it would have been crazy frizzy otherwise. I barely recognized myself. I had some face powder, mascara, and lip tint in my clutch so I wasn’t completely barefaced. Kyunnie always kept spare toothbrushes, so we both were able to brush.I slipped into the t-shirt and sweatpants he had provided the night before and quickly realized that was not going to work for leaving the house. They were too long and way too hot.“There she is!” Kyunnie exclaimed when I emerged. “There is my Merida!” he hugged me like he hadn’t seen me in forever, stroking my back. He pulled me back to arms length and looked to Minhyuk. “Isn’t she gorgeous?”Minhyuk wasn’t sure how to respond. This was the first time he had seen my hair in its almost natural state. Finally, he said huskily, “She is beyond gorgeous.” I smiled shyly at his compliment.Kyun looked at me and said, “those are not going to work, are they?”“No, they are not. And I don’t have shoes either,” I added. My rhinestone heels were not appropriate for this ensemble. There was no way to work around the shoes. I settled for a pair of slippers.He dug through his drawer and found a pair of drawstring swim trunks that seemed like they might work short term. He gave in and said he would take me by my house on the way. Minhyuk was comfortable in a borrowed t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers.I cheered because I could change clothes and put on a little eyeshadow. The thing about having a fair skintone is that your features tend to disappear if you don’t do anything to make them show up. Besides, I wanted to look pretty for Minhyuk. Don’t judge me.We got to my house and Mom hugged them hello. She couldn’t stop smiling at Minhyuk and fawning over him. He smiled at me and laughed when she turned her back to get them some drinks. It was pretty funny. Dad had taken Clara and Connor to the park for a playdate with one of the little dude’s new friends.I left them with her while I went downstairs to change and finish my face. The first thing I did was hang Clara’s dress. I stood admiring it and remembering the evening… and morning. My whole body grew warm and I had to step away to keep from calling him downstairs with me.I didn’t do much to finish getting ready, just added a little eyeshadow and liner, then dabbed a tiny bit of perfume behind my ears, on my wrists, and between the girls. I fought the urge to pull my hair back. I donned a pale green t-shirt and denim shorts and grabbed a scrunchie for later. I knew I would need it.When I returned a short 10 minutes later, Mom was already feeding them. She usually had some Korean side dishes in the fridge for dad so she brought them out. I grabbed a spot between them and started eating too. Mom just sat there smiling at us.“Mom, please. You are embarrassing me,” I pleaded to her.“Creena, you spent the night with a handsome man and then brought him to me. Would you rather I get upset like some other moms would do? I just want my baby to be happy.”“No, mommy. I would not prefer that,” I mumbled into my food. The guys were enjoying this a little too much. I slapped Kyun on the back of the head, and Minhyuk on the arm. They both whined then kept laughing.“Well, you three enjoy yer meal. I am going to play poker with the girls. Just put the dishes in the sink and I will take care of them later.” She kissed us each on the top of the head and went to play. We finished and went ahead and washed up our plates and put them away. There was no need to leave that for her.Kyun took us to an exhibit that he had been wanting to see. It was a local artist and the subject matter was 18+. The artist painted abstract nudes. The concept was a bit odd, but it made for some interesting paintings.The International Night Market was going on that weekend, so we went to check it out. There were all sorts of booths selling handmade items from different cultures. There was food from all over the world. There was entertainment on the stage. Not great entertainment, but there it was.The crowd was growing by the minute and it was hot and humid. I wasn’t enjoying myself, and I wasn’t enjoying my hair. Minhyuk and Changkyun were not finished exploring. I was sandwiched between them and they were each holding one of my hands. We got lots of curious looks as we walked around. Minhyuk kissed me every chance he got. At one point he whispered in my ear, “I want to get tangled in those curls. I love your wild hair.” I almost attacked him then and there.The food lines were ridiculously long and there really wasn’t anything that I felt compelled to wait that long for. The sun was setting, but the temperature wasn’t dropping much due to the asphalt and all the people. I was ready to go, but they weren’t. I broke free of them while they watched a k-pop dance troop perform. I had seen a Sooni and Tommi booth and I wanted to check out the k-beauty offerings the local shop had on hand.A handsome Korean man greeted me and showed me their best selling products. He introduced himself as Sam. His English was a little broken, so I decided to make things a little easier on him. I started speaking in fluent Korean. He was surprised, but pleased. He had a beautiful smile and he blessed me with it. He grew instantly more comfortable when he could communicate easily.Minhyuk and Kyunnie approached and put their arms around me. Sam raised an eyebrow at their approach, but didn’t miss a beat with his sales pitch. I purchased a night cream from him and bowed as I thanked him. My escorts stole me away quickly.“Why the rush? I’ve been ready to go for a half hour. Now I talk to a hot guy and you both come for me?” I looked back and forth at them and they both nodded. I laughed.We left the event and went to get some real food. We texted the rest of the guys and asked them to meet us for Korean BBQ. I asked Hyungwon to swing by and pick up Clara. I was having dinner with my family the next night and then leaving the day after that. Mom called and said Connor wanted to say goodnight. My heart dropped a little. I hadn’t seen him all day.I was having mixed feelings about leaving. I knew I needed to get back to my life in LA. My business was taking a loss because I was not bringing in any money if I wasn’t taking any jobs. On the other hand, I was going to miss my family. And Minhyuk. I didn’t want to admit that part, but it was true. I pushed thoughts of leaving aside and focused on my friends.The Soju was flowing and so was the grilled meat. We laughed and ate. Ate and laughed. I excused myself to the restroom. When I came back out, Minhyuk was waiting for me. He took my hand and smiled. He pulled me out the door and into the almost empty coffee shop next door. He held his finger to his luscious lips when I tried to ask what he was doing.He knocked on the ladies room door and no one was in there. He pulled me in and locked the door behind us. He flung me around against the wall and put his hands on either side of me. There was hunger in his eyes. Hunger for me. I felt the wetness between my legs and knew I had to have him again.“I can’t take it any longer, Cheonsa. I need you,” He called me angel and I melted. I reached up and grabbed his neck, pulling him close. He tangled his fingers in my hair.“Then take me. Now,” I kissed him hard. His tongue plunged into my mouth and I captured it with my lips, sucking it deeper in. He moaned into my mouth and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his hips and he slid his fingers inside my shorts. He felt how wet I was for him already and groaned, “you want me inside you?”“Yes, fuck me, Minhyuk,” I hissed against his lips. He set me down and pulled my shorts and panties off. He bent down while taking his off and ran his tongue up the slit between my legs. I almost came undone.“You taste so sweet,” he kissed me again and I tasted myself on his lips. I felt another gush of wetness. He lifted me back up and sat me on the edge of the counter. He spread my legs apart and licked his lips as he slipped a finger inside me. My head fell back and a moan escaped my lips. “Woman, you drive me crazy!” he whispered as he pressed the head of his plump cock against my opening.I whined and wrapped my legs around him, pulling him inside fully. We both cried out and he began thrusting, holding my hips to keep me steady. I ran my nails down his back and he hissed. I bit his shoulder to keep from crying out as my body shook from the first orgasm. He held on to me and pounded harder. He kissed my neck and moved upwards to my ear. I couldn’t hold back anymore and I came again. This time he captured my mouth and inhaled my cries. I felt him throb inside me and then his body shook. He held me tight and caressed my back. My body was still tingling and I wanted more, but there was a knock at the door. We giggled quietly.“Someone is in here, just a moment!” I called out. We cleaned up quickly and put ourselves back together. I opened the door slowly and peeked out. The person was standing close, waiting. Their shocked expression when we came out holding hands was priceless.We went back to the restaurant and rejoined the party like nothing had happened. Or so we thought. As soon as we sat down, they put Soju shots in our hands and toasted our encounter. Both of us turned 50 shades of red. 💕💕💕
Things are getting hotter, don't you think?
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----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The whole family drove me to the airport. We made an adventure out of it for Connor. I didn’t want him to be sad, like he had been the night before. We were having dinner and he started crying because I was leaving. It broke my heart. I had to promise to come back soon to get him to stop. We had different definitions of “soon”. To me, it was as soon as I could schedule a break for myself. To him, it was next week.I watched the city fade into the clouds as we ascended. Tears fell to my cheeks and I wiped them away before anyone noticed. The sunset was absolutely breathtaking and distracted me for a short time. Soon my thoughts turned to Minhyuk. We both knew that those moments we shared were just that… moments. We weren’t dating and we weren’t committed to each other in any way. It was just an affair. A hot affair for sure.I had a 4 and a half hour flight ahead of me. I was prepared with Netflix on my tablet, my music, 2 books, and my neck pillow. I was in business class, so the seats were a little more comfortable than coach. I had eaten in the airport with the family and packed a few snacks for later. After we were able to take off our seatbelts, I put in my earbuds and turned on some music. I opened my book and picked up where I had left off a few nights before.It was a romantic thriller and it was not the best one I had read recently, but it was bearable. I was curious how the author was going to get the lead characters together, so I kept reading it. My playlist was on shuffle and I had an eclectic mix of styles on it. Bass tones sounded in my ears and caused me to stop reading. Ella’s voice soon followed. I was taken back to that night in the piano bar, and the events that followed.I felt flushed all over and my body reacted to the memories. I squirmed in my seat and fanned myself. I excused myself to the restroom and scooted past the person next to me. I patted my neck with a wet paper towel and looked in the mirror. What was that? I asked myself.When I returned, the flight attendants were passing out snacks and beverages. I got a bottle of water and a glass of wine. I finished off the wine quickly. I was tempted to get another, but I decided to wait until later. I just wanted to relax a little, not get buzzed.I finished my book, which improved a little as I got further in, but still wasn’t one I would recommend to a friend. I tried watching a movie, but lost interest. I took a short nap. I broke out my other book. After what felt like an eternity, we began our descent. It was a little after 11pm LA time, and after 2AM in Atlanta. I had hired a car to take me from the airport to my apartment. I didn’t want to make my friends have to drive that late, and Mom didn’t want me to Uber. She didn’t trust them.I crossed the threshold of my door and it was like walking into a foreign place. One would expect a feeling of comfort coming home, but it didn’t feel like home. That was definitely my stuff… my wall of framed Connor art, my glass figurines collection, my basket of unfolded laundry. My plants were alive, but a little sad looking. My friend had come over and watered them for me, but they were lonely. Even with all these familiar things, it felt like a stranger’s home, not my own.With a sigh, I wheeled my suitcase into the bedroom and fell back on the bed. I texted everyone that I had made it home then changed into my sleep shirt and shorts and washed my face. I unpacked a few things and went to bed. I was wide awake. I had been so sleepy in the car on the way that I expected to crash as soon as I walked in.Instead, my mind was going 100 miles an hour. Thoughts of Mom and Dad, Connor, Clara, Kyunnie, and Minhyuk… Minhyuk? Really? I knew we had an intense encounter, or few encounters, but that was all. It was done. He was out of my system now. Wasn’t he? Yes. He was.I got up and made a cup of chamomile tea and picked up my phone. I had gotten several texts and photos in the group chat with the guys after we landed and I was planning to look at them the next day. In them were the photos we took at the dance. I was floored at how handsome they both were. I thought about Kyun and wondered why we hadn’t had that kind of chemistry.Changkyun was an incredibly sexy man. He was the brooding type and could get a bit dark at times. We had spent many nights sitting up talking about things that might scare other people. He was very deep and emotional. That can be a real turn on to many women, and I had seen him be hurt by a few. They wanted the bad boy, not the sensitive, moody man behind the image. When he revealed his true nature, they sometimes got scared by the intensity and ran away. If you wander too close to the flame, you have to be prepared for the heat and possible burn. He had compensated by not letting himself get attached. Whenever he found the right one, he would devote himself to her.Then I thought about why Minhyuk and I had gone together so well. He was basically the opposite of Kyun in many ways and very similar in others. He was very loud and hyper, very funny, and a unique combination of savage and sweet. He also had a depth to his emotions that one did not see at the surface. He was not brooding and dark like Changkyun. He was full of light and I suspected that he was easily hurt because he was so open. He was pure sunshine and Kyun was black roses.I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. Nothing caught my attention. I finished my tea and went back to bed to try to sleep. I was tormented by memories of that night. I could feel his hands on my body, his lips, his tongue. I had never felt as much pleasure as I had that night. I had never felt as much passion or need before. Hands down, it was the best sex I had ever had. Ever.Eventually I fell asleep, but he didn’t leave me alone there either. I woke up a couple of hours later, but I was groggy and tired. I made some coffee and walked out onto my patio. It was tiny, but it afforded me a view of the distant ocean. Very distant. The air was heavy and stale. In Atlanta I could breathe, but not here. I sighed and went back inside.I showered and then finished unpacking. Connor had slipped a drawing into my bag. I smiled at the image of the family. We were holding hands and smiling and there was a rainbow behind us. He even drew his “uncles”, all seven of them? He included Minhyuk. That was sweet. I put it aside to frame and add to my collection.I started making client calls the next day. I was still jet-lagged, but needed to get back into my routine. By the end of the day, I had 2 new events on my calendar. Christmas was coming and I was about to get slammed, if this year was like the previous ones.By the end of the week, my schedule was full. I only had myself and a part-time assistant to handle everything. I always hired a crew to handle the heavy lifting. I trusted them and only had to pay them when I needed them. It worked out very well for me.Clara and Connor face-timed me one night and I could see the little dude was super excited about something.“Auntie Hannah! Guess what!!” he exclaimed and kept going. “I am going to be in the school play!”“Wow! That is amazing! Tell me all about it, sweetie!” He went on to tell me that they had a Winter Pageant and he was one of the main cast. Clara stepped in because Connor was too jabbery to explain it all.“They are doing a super short version of A Christmas Carol and he is playing the Ghost of Christmas Present. I don’t think I have ever seen him this excited about anything before.”“Auntie Hannah, you are going to come see, right?”Without hesitation or checking my schedule I said yes. Immediately I realized I had just put myself in a predicament. I had a full schedule and there was no way I was going to be able to go. But I had said yes, so I had to find a way. Clara could see my panic and stepped in to throw me a safety net.“Hannah, are you sure you can get away? I know this time of year is busy for you.”“I want to be there. I am going to do my best to come, Connor.” Clara smiled and Connor beamed. Connor went to bed and we talked for a while longer. She told me that they were going to move into the basement and that she was going to rent out her townhouse.“I just really feel it is the right thing to do for the next few months. Sometimes I feel really weak and it scares me. I don’t want to be alone with no one around if something happens.”“Have you mentioned it to your cardiologist?”“Yes, she says it will take some time to feel normal again and my tests are all good. But it still scares me. Mom and Dad are all for it. They love having Connor around. And I guess they like me being here too,” she laughed.“Just take care of yourself. Make sure you do the things you are supposed to do, and don’t do the other things,” I cautioned unnecessarily. “What are you going to do about work? When will you go back to full-time?”“Not for a while. I already have someone lined up to rent the apartment, so I will have that to cover my mortgage, and living here will reduce other expenses. That will take a lot of financial burden away. We should be good for a few months. I don’t want to push myself to dive back in until I am ready.”“Good, I am glad you have a plan. Now, when are you going to tell Mom about Wonnie? I am sure he will come by more often.”“Yeah, I am going to have to do that soon. I don’t know why I keep putting it off.”“Because you know she will ask when you are getting married and giving her more grandbabies?”“Yeah, probably that.” We laughed and talked for a while, then I got ready for bed. I got a text as I was laying in bed reading. It was Minhyuk. I dismissed the way my heart fluttered as shock. I wasn’t expecting that. We chatted in the group chat, but this was the first time he had texted me like this.Minhyuk: Anneyong CheonsaConnor probably already told you about the Winter PageantHe did great with his auditionMe: He sure did!I am so excited for him!Minhyuk: Are you coming back to see it?Me: ….I hesitated to answer. I had told Connor I would, but I knew it was a long-shot that I would actually make it. Finally I answered that I was going to try to make it because I needed to see his acting debut. He responded with 🥰.That emoji stuck with me. It was innocent and I was probably reading into it, but that coupled with the nickname made me giddy. Stop it. No attachments. Just sex. I scolded myself. Great sex. Self reminded me. Another night being tormented by my dreams. Thanks Minhyuk.I got back into my old routine and got so busy that I didn’t have time to think about him. I went to a one day workshop and got partnered with a guy named Chris for one of the exercises. He was very handsome, tall, and funny. Basically a surfer-type with sun-lightened hair, golden tan, killer smile, hazel eyes, and chiseled features. I hadn’t seen him shirtless, but he filled out his suit nicely. He was the physical opposite of Minhyuk, yet I found myself comparing them. Minhyuk was much more handsome to me, but I was trying to break the habit of him.Chris was manager of event services at a local hotel, so we had some things in common. I felt comfortable talking to him, but I didn’t really feel a connection. He was charming in a way, but I was immune to him. A few months ago I would have probably fallen under his spell like the other women who kept giving me death glares when he paid attention to me over them.After the thing was over, he asked me out and I said no. He kept flirting and asking. I thought about how the thing with Minhyuk was just casual. Neither of us had committed to anything. I was free to date whomever I wanted, as was he. I finally said yes. Who knows, maybe going out with Chris would break the hold Minhyuk seemed to have on me.Two nights later, Chris picked me up at my office and we went to a nice restaurant then caught a show. It was a nice enough date. He was intelligent and funny. I didn’t feel awkward around him like I thought I would.He texted the next day and said he had a great time. He asked if I wanted to go out again. I hesitated, but said yes. He told me he would call in a couple of days and we could make arrangements then.I met up with my friends for dinner the next night and we caught up. I hadn’t seen them since I got back. I told them about Connor’s part in the play and I mentioned his teacher was hot.“Oh shit, you fucked his teacher, didn’t you?” one friend exclaimed rather loudly.“Shhhhh, inside voice!” I whispered loudly. “Maybe I did.” I sat back proudly in my chair.“Spill the details!” All three of them leaned in to hear.“Um no. I will not kiss and tell. Sorry, you will have to get your smut elsewhere.” I wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepared to relive that night in public just yet. They kept on until they realized I wasn’t giving in. Another piped up and I tried to change the subject by telling them that I had gone out with Chris. They pushed for details of that date.“There’s nothing to tell! We went on one date. It was nice. He asked me out again. End of story,” I was getting irritated with them and it showed in my tone. I just didn’t have the patience to deal with them. I started talking about Connor and his acting debut, but they weren’t interested.I realized then that our conversations tended to be superficial, and that men were one of the common topics. I couldn’t remember the last time I had gone to one of them when I needed advice or a shoulder to lean on. I called Kyunnie or Clara for that. And come to think of it, none of them had done that with me either.I lost interest in the conversation after that and told them I was tired and needed to go. It wasn’t a lie. I was still adjusting back to the time difference, but I probably could have stayed longer. I just didn’t want to.Chris texted later and asked if I liked horses. I said I thought they were beautiful, but I was a little scared of them. He said he wanted to take me horseback riding. Hesitantly, I agreed. Maybe being with someone who knew how to handle them would ease my fear. We set the details and said goodnight.Minhyuk texted right after that. It was just a cute puppy gif, but it was related to something we had talked about that last night together. It made me smile and I replied back with a heart. As soon as I sent it, I wanted to recall it. I meant the heart for the gif and hoped he didn’t misunderstand. I figured it would be more awkward to try to explain that than to leave it alone. So I left it alone.Second date day arrived and I finished up in the office and Chris met me there. I wore jeans, sneakers, a t-shirt, and I brought along a light jacket. I wasn’t sure what the appropriate attire was for this and did the best I could.Chris commented how good the jeans looked and looked at me up and down. He was a bit different that day, he seemed more confident, almost too confident, and a bit cocky or something. I couldn’t quite put it into words. I didn’t feel as comfortable with him as I had the first date.He helped me up onto the horse, and his hand brushed my butt. It didn’t seem out of the way or on purpose, so I let it slide. We rode along a trail with other riders and ended up on a hill overlooking the ocean. It was stunning. The sunset melted into the waves. It was a stunning sunset, one I would have liked to be sharing with Minhyuk. I pushed that thought away. I was on a date with someone else. I could not have Minhyuk yet. Focus, Hannah.Chris got into a bit of an argument with one of the other riders right beside me and caused my horse to get upset. She reared back and I didn’t know what to do. I pulled on the reins and tried to hold on, but I slid backwards and fell off the horse. I landed on my ass. Thankfully it wasn’t my head. There was a large rock less than 3 inches from where I landed. It happened so fast, no one was able to stop it.After I fell, one of the other riders came to help me get up. Chris hadn’t even been paying attention and when he finally took notice and came to check on me, he was more concerned abut how I had embarrassed him. I was angry and my ass hurt. I was done with this date and with this guy. I had just seen his true colors and I was not interested.I told him the date was over and asked him to please take me back to my car. I felt the fiery side of me coming to the surface and quelled it back down. I had learned to control my temper long ago, thanks to Changkyun. I did not want to make this situation any worse than it already was.By the time we got back to the stables, my ass was hurting so badly I wanted to cry. I knew it would sore for days, and suspected I might have bruised my tailbone. I went to the restroom before we left and inspected myself as good as I could. I was able to move my hips and bend over. I didn’t feel any sharp pains, just a dull but strong ache. I didn’t feel like there was anything broken when I felt the actual area where I landed. I washed my hands again and put myself back together. I looked in the mirror and told myself, second and last date with this loser.We rode back to my office and he talked about himself most of the way there. He didn’t apologize or really even ask how I was. He said something about another date. I looked at him and finally let go.“Seriously? Another date? Chris, this is our last date. I don’t want to go out with you again, I don’t want to see you again, I don’t want to speak to you again.”“Why, because you fell on your ass and embarrassed us both? That was pretty hilarious, now that I think about it.”“No, because you are an insensitive, arrogant, asshole. That is why!” I felt my eyes shooting daggers, but he just laughed.“Honey, you don’t even know what you’ve got sitting next to you. I will make you scream so hard you won’t want any other man. Women can’t let go once they’ve had me.” He looked at me with what he thought was a sexy look. It repulsed me.“They can have you. This date is over. We are not having sex. You are delusional if you think tonight was leading up to that. I had no intention of sleeping with you. I thought you were a nice guy when we met, but I see how wrong I was now.” I could see his jaw clench, then he laughed again.“Hannah, I didn’t spend all that money on you to just let you go home alone. You are going to earn it.” The look he shot over to me gave me chills. I was afraid of him suddenly and I did not like that feeling. I was trapped in the car with no way to get out.As soon as my car was in sight, I started it with my remote and unlocked the doors. Before he put the car in park, I had my seatbelt undone and door open. I wasn’t fast enough though. He caught up to me before I could get my door open and get inside. He tried to pin me against the door and kiss me. All the years of Taekwondo and self-defense that Dad had made us learn came back to me. I let anger replace the fear and I felt in control again.First, I tried to push him away and told him to back off. He laughed and said, “you know you want this.” I did not. I most certainly did not. Instinctively, my leg came off the ground and my knee landed in firm and forceful contact with his groin. He doubled over and as he went down, I brought my elbow up to his face to finish him off. I was able to open my door and get inside my car. I sped away quickly. I was thankful he hadn’t come to my house, so he didn’t know where I lived.I drove straight to the police station. An officer took my statement. I gave him the information I knew about Chris. I knew his name and place of employment, but not much else. I had a photo on my phone that we had taken on our first date, just on a whim. That was more helpful than a sketch. I filed a restraining order as well. I was afraid he would not give up easily.I was at the station for quite a while, and by the time I got home I was exhausted. I took some over the counter pain meds and soaked in a hot bath with some epsom salts to ease my pain. I thought about how I should call Dad and thank him for all those years of training. The evening could have gone much differently if I had not known what to do.The reality of what had almost happened hit me as I laid down to try and sleep. I started crying. I wanted Mommy. I wanted Clara. I wanted Kyunnie. I wanted… Minhyuk? I cried harder. I pulled my pillow from under my head and hugged it as tight as I could. The tears wouldn’t stop. I needed someone to hold me, someone to stroke my head and tell me it would be alright. But I was alone. Completely alone.
💕💕💕
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----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The next day, a police officer showed up at my office. He had some follow up questions about my report. Chris had tried to file a report against me as well. It seems I had broken his nose and he had to go to the ER. He was giving a completely different story, of course. He claimed that I attacked him when he refused to take me home with him.I laughed out loud. The officer asked if I had anything to back up my side. I started to say no, but then I remembered the security cameras at my office complex. He said he would follow up with the management office and get back to me. I thanked him and went back to my work.The officer called later to tell me that Chris had been arrested but released on bail. He had dropped the charges against me when presented with the video evidence against him. Internally, I snickered. If the bruised tailbone and elbow were the only thing left to have to deal with from that night, then I would be happy. No more Chris. Honey’s birthday… Chuseok… Halloween… Thanksgiving… they all flew by. I celebrated virtually with my family and the guys. I had worked to arrange things so I could go home to see Connor’s play. I had brought my assistant up to speed and gotten her ready to handle things for a few days. I would only be staying for 2 nights, just long enough for the play and to have early Christmas with the family. It would be the first time in 2 years, and I was really excited.I packed my suitcase with some clothes and gifts and had it ready by the door. My carry-on was packed except for the things I would use the next morning, like toothbrush, etc. I got my shower and laid out my clothes so I could be out the door quickly. My flight was leaving at 6AM, so I had to be at the airport stupid early. I was driving myself this time, since my trip was short.Over the past 2 months I had talked to Minhyuk several times. We had gotten to know each other a little better. He asked if we were going to get together like we said, and the thought made me flush all over. I was looking forward to that as much as seeing my family.I went to bed a little early so I could get up early. I was surprised that I slept as well as I did. I woke up and stretched and then practically bounced out of bed. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I got dressed, threw the last few items into my carry-on, made a to-go cup of coffee, and headed out the door. Getting on the road that early got me ahead of the worst of the traffic, so it didn’t take that long to get to the airport.Once I was in my seat, I willed the plane to fly, and to fly fast. We finally got in the air. My flight was just under 4 hours long, but it felt like 20. I did not nap, and I could not keep my mind focused on a book. Kyun was going to pick me up. Connor’s play was that night, then Christmas with the family on Saturday. Minhyuk had claimed Saturday night and Sunday morning as his own. Kyun and the guys were invited for family Christmas since theirs were all in Korea.Dad was putting in a new floor down in the basement, all the furniture from there was in the old office/Clara’s temporary bedroom, and Clara was staying in the guest room upstairs. All that meant I had to stay with Kyun… or Minhyuk. I wasn’t sad.It was a half day for the students, so Kyun left as soon as they dismissed. It still took him over an hour to get down to the airport. I had cleared luggage claim and was waiting for him when he texted that he was in the pickup line. I stepped out the door and was scooped up into a hug within 30 seconds. He had spotted me and ran to get me.He helped me load my suitcase and we were off. We stopped and grabbed a quick snack on the way. An hour or so later, we were at his house. It was 2:30 and the pageant was at 7, but Connor had to be at the school by 6. We were meeting the family at 4:30.I had to admit that I was disappointed that Minhyuk had not surprised me by coming with him, but Kyunnie had told me he had to help with the production. He was much more involved in it than Kyun. I knew I would be seeing him soon though.I decided on a whim to let my hair be curly, but it still needed taming. Kyun would be happy to have his Merida for the evening, and apparently so would Minhyuk. After curling my curls and putting on some makeup, I changed into sexy underwear, peep-toe heels, and an emerald green sheath dress that wasn’t too tight but still accentuated all the right places and made my eyes really stand out. I had a beautiful handmade shawl to wear with it. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror and was not satisfied. I called Kyunnie to help. He had an eye for these things. He wolf-whistled me when he saw me.“I don’t think there is anything wrong with how you look. You are hot as F.” I thanked him and he cocked his head to the side. “It is the hair. You are not used to seeing your natural self anymore.”He was right. It was the hair. I turned back and pulled at the front to straighten it and compare. I actually liked how it looked styled and curled, but it didn’t feel professional to me. Kyun stepped up beside me and put his arm around me.“You are beautiful with any style, but I think the straight hair makes you look more serious and mature,” he smiled as he fingered the curl closest to his hand. “This is more romantic and sexy…. softer.” I took a more objective look at myself and realized he was right. I had been trying to make myself look more serious and mature, as he said, to make people take me seriously in my business.I gathered my hair in both hands and pulled it up, letting a few tendrils fall around my face. Kyun kissed my neck and said, “Minhyuk would do that. I am sure.” I giggled and dropped my hair.“Not tonight,” I said. “The setting is not right.” I winked at him, “tomorrow? Who knows!”We drove over to my parents’ house and Connor was out the door and to the car as soon as Kyun parked. He had grown so much in just 3 months! Clara looked great. She looked healthy and strong. I was very happy to see that. She had told me on the phone that she was able to get around fairly well now and had very little pain.Mom and Dad looked perfect. I missed them so much. I missed them ALL so much. I tried putting those thoughts away. I wanted to enjoy the little time we had together. The guys all started arriving to eat with us. Everyone but Minhyuk, that is. Again, I was disappointed. Mom had made an early dinner since our little actor had to be at the school by 6.I was loving seeing my family and my ‘brothers’, but I really wanted to see Minhyuk. I was trying to focus on my little guy and how excited he was about his play, but I was having a hard time. Connor practiced and performed his lines for us.He had told me during one of our calls that his Uncle Wonnie had helped him since he was an actor too. Hyungwon had done theater in high school and college and was quite good from what Clara had told me. I was confident Connor would be great.We piled into 2 vehicles and headed to the school. Getting there early also allowed us to get the best seats. Clara and I escorted our little star to the “dressing rooms”, which was just an area backstage that they had set up for them to change into costume. I tried to focus on him, but I kept looking at every person who walked by or came near.Connor asked for my help to fasten his robe. I was bent over, focusing on my little dude and when I straightened up, there he was. He was smiling and looking at me from the far side of the room. I couldn’t hold back the smile that took over my face. Clara nudged me and whispered, “obvious much?”I winked at him and turned my attention back to Connor. He tilted his head in the direction of his office and disappeared. When my dude was all set, I excused myself and went to Minhyuk to say a proper hello. Well, as proper as I could considering where we were. I found him in his office. He shut the door behind me and then pressed me against it. He cupped my jaw in his hand and said, “hi” in his raspy voice.I opened my mouth to repeat it and he kissed me. It started as a hungry, fevered kiss, but then slowed to a gentle and sensual one. When he pulled away my knees were jelly and I realized I was clinging to him for support. I answered, “hi” finally. He laughed. The kiss held the promise of later and would have to hold us until then.He ran his hands down my sides to my hips and pulled me tighter against his body. He made a sound that was somewhere between a hum and a moan. I felt his erection against my abdomen and wanted him right there. I might have acted on the urge, had my phone not dinged just then. It was Clara reminding me it was almost showtime.I put my hand inside his shirt and touched his chest, lightly scraping my nails across his flesh. He hissed through his teeth and tilted his head back. His Adam’s Apple begged to be kissed, so I stood on my tiptoes and reached up, planting a wet open-mouthed kiss on it. He made a soft whimpering noise, and I was satisfied with my work.He looked at me with smoldering eyes and said, “if you don’t stop… I won’t either.” He pulled my hips hard against his and my knees went weak again. A knock on the door interrupted us, but it was probably a good thing because we were about to get in trouble.Kyun’s voice followed the knock, “you guys need to come out. It is almost time.”Minhyuk raked his fingers through his hair and stepped back. “I need you to come home with me tonight,” he rasped.“I need that too. My things are at Kyun’s. Can you meet me there later?” He nodded and caressed my cheek with the backs of his fingers. He trailed them down my neck, turning them as he went until his fingertips were tracing the outline of my breast. My nipples hardened and my back arched towards him. He shook his head to break free of the temptation.“Yes, I will meet you there. Then we go to my house.” His tone was firm and full of promise.He reached behind me and unlocked the door, leaning his body against mine as he did so. He kissed me once more and stepped back. I moved out of the way, and he opened the door. Kyun stood there with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. He couldn’t keep it up though and quickly began laughing. The three of us walked arm-in-arm down the hallway with me in the middle.The production was pretty impressive for a school pageant. The costumes were not elaborate, but they were detailed enough to look real. The sets were beautiful, and the props fit the scenes well.There were a few other student performances to warm up the crowd. We were asked to only applaud and cheer after each performance, instead of for individual students. Some of Kyunnie’s students had a band and they performed 2 songs. The school Jazz Band performed 2 songs, and then the choir also got 2 songs. Then the play began. Since Connor was the Ghost of Christmas Present, it was a while before we saw him, but Dad was recording the entire thing.When Connor appeared on stage, it was hard not to cheer. I still clapped softly and bounced in my seat. Clara was beaming. Mom was crying, and Dad was just proud. The guys were all smiling.My little dude was amazing! He delivered his lines like a pro. He didn’t look nervous at all. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought he had done this a thousand times. When he exited the stage, he kept his focus ahead instead of looking around to find us, just like a pro.As soon as the play finished, we all rushed backstage. Minhyuk looked at me with that sexy smirk/tongue bite thing that drives me crazy, and I had to look away. I was too vulnerable to it right then. We found our star and Dad lifted him up. He was smiling and asked, “did you see? Did you see?”He jabbered all the way home. He told us how much he loved being up there and asked Clara if he could do it again. She said yes, he could audition as soon as there was another play. He squealed and I almost cried. The change I saw in this kid from a few months ago was incredible. He was making friends and he wanted to get involved in activities. He used to just want to read and spend time with us. I was so happy Kyun had convinced us to enroll him in Monbebe International Academy. It was making such a difference.Both cars arrived back at Mom and Dad’s within 2 minutes of each other. Everyone stood in the driveway passing hugs around. I told Clara where I would be for the night, but I didn’t say anything to Mom. She still knew.“Brunch at 11 tomorrow, Creena. Bring your boyfriend,” I blushed and Kyun grinned. Minhyuk had not ridden with us, so he was the only one not there. She then made the announcement to the whole group to be there at 11. We would open gifts after we ate.“I will come early to help with the food,” I stated.“Creena,” she paused and patted my cheek. “No. Just… no.” Kyunnie laughed. “You go spend time with your boyfriend.”“He’s not my…” a stern look from Mom stopped my comment.“You spend time with him. How else are ya goin’ to…” she was interrupted by Dad calling to her from the kitchen. “Now you go. All of you! Go! Come back tomorrow.” We were dismissed with a flourish of her arms.Kyun helped me into his car, and we went to his house to meet Minhyuk. He was waiting for us in his car and followed us into the garage when Kyun parked. He opened the door and pulled me into his arms and kissed me. He held me by his side as we walked inside, then kissed me again. Kyun pulled us apart and reminded us we were in his kitchen again. We didn’t care, but we both did want to get some privacy, so I scurried to the guest room to gather my things.I was back 5 minutes later. They appeared to be having a serious conversation, but they stopped talking and smiled when I entered the room. I hadn’t changed clothes or shoes, which also meant I still had on my sexy underwear.Minhyuk took my bags to his car while I said bye to Kyun. I asked him, “what were you guys talking about?”He looked at me and answered matter of factly, “I told him I don’t care if we are friends, if he hurts you, I will kill him.” His expression held steady, and I knew he was telling the truth. I kissed his cheek and smiled.“We aren’t dating. It is not like that.”He raised an eyebrow at me and opened his mouth to speak, but Minhyuk came back into the room. “Ready, Cheonsa?” Kyun winked when he heard that.“Right, OK,” Kyun said. “You guys have fun tonight, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He thought for a moment, “I guess you can basically do whatever then.” He grinned.“Remember brunch and prezzies at 11,” I reminded him with a kiss on the cheek as Minhyuk escorted me to the door.We didn’t speak much on the short ride to Minhyuk’s apartment, but the air was charged with anticipation. He held my hand on top of the console and tickled my palm a couple of times with his finger. Just that small gesture sent waves of pleasure into my body. I was thinking of all the things I wanted to do to him and wondered what he wanted to do to me, and it was only causing me to get more turned on. My panties were soaked and had been since earlier in his office.We finally parked in his garage, and he leaned over and whispered in my ear as he unfastened my seatbelt, “I can’t wait to taste you.” The heat of his breath flowed over my skin like a caress, and I almost came undone. I turned to him and captured his bottom lip with mine, sucking gently. It was a hint of things to come. He smiled that sideways smile with his tongue and I bit my lip.He got out and started coming around to my side, but I was already out. I was in too much of a hurry to wait for him to be a gentleman. He smiled and opened the back so we could get my things out. He took the suitcase, and I grabbed the smaller bag. He opened the door, and I stepped inside.I noticed deep colors and lots of art on the walls, but that was all I had time to see. He took my hand and led me down the hallway to the bedroom. He put my suitcase aside, took the smaller bag from me and set it down, then turned back to me and took me in his arms. I was suddenly nervous. I don’t know why. Maybe because I was in his lair now? Or maybe because I had started feeling some things I didn’t want to feel? I don’t know, but it happened.He must have felt it, because he stopped and held my face. “Is everything OK? Did I do something?” He was genuinely concerned. I smiled at him.“Everything is fine and no, you didn’t do anything. I am just feeling a little…” my voice trailed off because I didn’t want to say it.“It is OK. I understand. I am going to get us some water. The bathroom is right there, if you need it. I’ll be right back.” He kissed my forehead and smiled. I sighed and went to compose myself.I washed my hands and patted my neck and my chest to cool myself down. I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath. This is what you have been wanting for months. Why are you like this? I asked myself. I turned to the full-length mirror and smoothed my dress. I turned to the side to give myself a confidence boost, knowing that my ass looked phenomenal in that dress. I smiled at my reflection. My confidence had returned.Minhyuk knocked on the door softly and asked if I was OK. I said, “yes, you can come in.” I had lifted my hair to let my neck cool off.He stepped in and leaned against the doorjamb. He had loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves. He looked sexy as F. I smiled at him, and he walked towards me. He came up behind me and slid his hands around my waist to my abdomen and kissed my neck. “I am going to blow your mind tonight,” he said into my ear. My knees buckled and he laughed softly as he nibbled my neck. I knew I wasn’t going to get much sleep that night.
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He ran his right hand down my hip, then under my dress. His hand was hot against my skin as he slid it up my inner thigh. I was clinging to him, watching everything in the mirror. He was looking at me as he left hot kisses along my neck and shoulder. He teased me by touching my soaked panties. He groaned, “so wet for me.” My head was spinning already, and we hadn’t even done anything yet.He moved his hand and unzipped my dress, letting it fall to the floor. My underwear was lacey and see-through and matched my dress. He growled and said that green was his favorite color. Still in the mirror, he cupped my breasts and pressed his hips against me. His eyes held mine captive as he traced my rock-hard nipples. He was biting his tongue and smiling. I reached back and grabbed his hips to steady myself.He lowered one hand to my abdomen and then to my thigh. He slipped his fingers under the lace and felt just how dripping wet I was. He closed his eyes and hissed. When he opened them, he looked like he wanted to devour me. He turned me around and kissed me hard. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me to the bedroom, kissing me the whole way.He put me down on the bed and I reached for his belt as he took his shirt off. I made quick work of the pants and soon he was magnificently naked in front of me. I licked my lips and took hold of his hips, pulling him forward. I tickled the tip of his cock with my tongue, swirling it around, and going further down with each pass. He tangled his fingers in my hair and moaned. I looked up and his head had fallen back. I smiled and continued my task.I opened my mouth and slid him inside slowly, going as far as I could handle. I never made it to the base. I closed my lips around the shaft and pulled back, sucking all the way. I took the base in my hand and ran my tongue down the side, then back up to the top, where I took him into my mouth again.He groaned and pulled me back, “if you don’t stop, I am going to cum. Is that what you want?”I just smiled and went down again. I tasted the precum and knew he was getting close. I sucked a little harder and moved a little faster. He gripped my head a little tighter. I let him fuck my mouth until he came. He tasted salty and sweet, and I cleaned up every drop. He collapsed on his stomach beside me on the bed.I traced the beautiful rose tattoo on his back as he caught his breath. “Hannah, you don’t know what you do to me,” he said in his raspy voice. He sat up and pulled me all the way onto the bed, propping me against the pillows. He kissed me and then trailed hot wet kisses down to my breasts. He teased my nipples through the lace, causing me to arch my back towards his mouth. He unfastened my bra at the front and my breasts fell free. He captured one in his mouth and the other in his hand.He moved down my stomach to the bend of my thigh. He lingered there planting tiny kisses along my bikini line. He looked up into my eyes and parted my legs. He lowered his face, keeping eye contact the whole time. He teased me with his breath first, the heat heightening the anticipation. I was propped up on pillows, so I was able to see everything he was doing. It was hot.He dipped his tongue between my lips and wiggled it. My eyes closed involuntarily, and my head fell back. “Look at me, Hannah,” his voice was firm and sexy. I did as he asked. He captured my clit with his lips and sucked gently. I whimpered and clenched the sheets. He smiled and stuck his tongue inside me, then sucked my clit again. I was ready to explode, but he wasn’t ready to let me. He stopped and propped his chin on my mound and grinned. “You taste like peaches. You are delicious,” he said as he licked his lips.He lowered his face again, this time he inserted a finger inside me as he sucked my clit. My back arched and I could no longer hold his gaze. He slipped a second finger in and finger fucked me as he alternated sucking and flicking his tongue over my clit. I grabbed his head and held on as my body transcended. I cried out while my walls clenched around his fingers. My body shook, but he didn’t stop. He slowed down a little, but he didn’t stop until I begged him to.I had to catch my breath and I pulled him up to lay beside me. I stroked his face and kissed him. I could taste myself on his lips. I liked it. There was something sensual about it. We explored each other’s bodies, touching… tasting… teasing. He propped himself on the pillows and reached over to the nightstand drawer. I heard the foil wrapper and took it from him. I opened it and took him in my mouth once more before rolling the condom down onto him. He pulled me up and I lowered myself onto him. I cried out as he filled me. He fought the urge to move for a few seconds so that I could adjust to his size. I started moving first, moving my hips and then sliding up and down. He held my hips, and I moved harder and faster. He bucked his hips in time with me. I ran my nails down his chest as I came hard. I called his name, and he kept pounding away.He flipped me over and put my legs on his shoulders. “Ahhhh, harder, Minhyuk, fuck me harder!” I begged. He held my legs and thrust into me, hard like I asked. I gripped the sheets as my body shuddered from the pleasure. I felt him pulsing inside me as he cried out and collapsed on me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him to keep him inside me as long as I could. I wasn’t finished. My hips were still moving because I felt like I was on the verge of another orgasm.“My Hannah is insatiable tonight,” he said against my mouth. He reached down between us and began fingering my clit. He put his finger inside me and began to flick it back and forth, then he put a second inside. The motion sent me over the edge again. I felt my pussy squeezing his fingers and I whimpered against his mouth as the waves continued crashing over me.Finally, I laid beside him, spent. He was propped on his elbow, looking at me, stroking my arm. “I have never met anyone like you, Noona. You do things to me, things I haven’t felt before.” His confession took me by surprise.“I feel the same way, MinMin.” It was the first time I had used a nickname for him, and he smiled.“I have missed you. I didn’t want to, but I did. I know I wasn’t supposed to, but I did.” I bit my lip and gave him a coy smile.“I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I missed you too. I have been looking forward to this since I left.” He pushed a curl behind my ear and brushed my cheek with his fingers. “I feel confused and happy all at the same time.”“Let’s not try to figure anything out right now. Let’s just love. All night. I want to make you see stars,” he whispered as he kissed me again. I felt him growing hard against my thigh and the heat between my legs increased tenfold.I woke up with my head against his chest, his arm and leg over me. I don’t know what time we finally fell asleep, but we made love for hours. We took rest breaks, dozed a little, then woke up and did it again. It was just as amazing each time as the last. I tried to move, but he pulled me closer.“Where do you think you are going?” he mumbled without opening is eyes.“To pee,” I answered. He smiled.“OK, but promise you’ll come right back.”“Promise.” I kissed his head and he let me free. When I stood, my legs were shaky and sore. I had a bit of trouble walking to the bathroom. I rinsed with some mouthwash and freshened up a little while I was in there and went back. He lifted the covers, and I climbed in. He was warm and snuggly and felt like home. Like home? What the hell…? I caught myself and settled in.I laid my head on his arm like a pillow and he pulled me against his body. “You were gone so long, I thought you left,” he pouted and kissed my forehead.“I was only gone as long as I needed to be, and I came back. I missed you too much to stay away long.” I could feel him smiling as he stroked my back.“You were gone too long before,” he said softly.“Before?”“When you went back to LA. You were gone too long. I missed you. I wish you were going to be here longer. Our time is too rushed,” he said against my hair.“Right now, there is no place I would rather be than here with you,” I tilted my head to look at him.” There was something so honest and raw between us in that moment. I felt connected to him on a deeper level than just the physical. I sensed he felt something too as we looked into each other’s eyes. Slowly, he kissed me. It was a tender and soft kiss. Then he hugged me to his chest and held me.“There isn’t enough time. I want to freeze this moment so that I don’t have to let you go.” I was caught off guard by his words, but the sound of his phone ringing saved me from having to respond. He groaned and turned to get it. He mumbled into the phone, and I heard Kyun’s voice on the other line, but I could not make out what he was saying. Minhyuk answered with “mm-hmm,” and no words. He hung up and dropped the phone behind me. He pulled my head to his chest and stroked my hair. “That was Changkyun. He said we need to hurry so we won’t be late. It is 9 now.”“We should get up then,” I mumbled against his chest.“We don’t have to get out of bed just yet,” he whispered. I smiled and kissed his chest.“I am in no rush, are you?” I looked at him and licked my lips. He covered them with his and I was awake. Awake and aroused. He rolled over on top of me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, welcoming him inside me. We made love and it was slow, steamy, and full of passion. It was different than the night before.We showered together and made lattes after. He stood behind me and reached in front while we worked the fancy machine. He acted silly and made me laugh like I hadn’t in years. It was intimate and sweet. He showed me the art on his walls while we drank our coffee. He was the artist. His works were filled with whale imagery and roses. He explained that whales were large enough to take all his loved ones away. It was a very sweet sentiment. The roses, like the tattoo on his back, were a reminder to love yourself. If you can’t love yourself, others can’t love you, he commented.We were low on time, so we went to get ready. I let my hair be natural since I didn’t have time to straighten it. I tamed it a little by doing some finger curls as it dried, just to keep it from looking like a frizzy mess. I caught Minhyuk looking at me in the mirror and I smiled at him. He said something but I couldn’t hear it over the hair dryer.“Sorry, what?” I asked as I silenced the appliance.“You are so beautiful,” he repeated.“Thank you. I wasn’t expecting that,” I said softly.“You should expect that. You should hear it every day. You might even be the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” He stepped closer and turned me to face him.“Might be?” I joked.“Yeah, I need to look at you for a bit longer to be sure,” he winked. I squeezed his cheeks to make his lips pucker then kissed him.“I guess I should do the same to you. I suspect you might be the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on. More research for us both, I suppose.” He winked at me and we finished getting ready.We were almost the last to arrive at my parents’ house, but we still got there by 11. Hyungwon pulled in right after we did, so the three of us walked in together. Kyunnie hugged us together and then just grinned. Mom patted Minhyuk’s cheek and hugged him, just like one of her other “sons”. She had prepared a Christmas feast, and we were all ready to dig in. Minhyuk and I had worked up quite an appetite. Mom wasn’t cooking twice, anyone who wanted them was having leftovers later.There was no reason to pretend we weren’t having some kind of something, so we didn’t. We sat together, we held hands, we even snuck a couple of kisses here and there. It was a casual something that had no name. That was the plan from the beginning. I had not intended for it to be an ongoing something, but I wasn’t complaining that it had continued.After we ate, it was time to open the gifts and we gathered around the massive Christmas tree. Minhyuk was looking at the ornaments, so I told him about them. Many had been made by Clara and me when we were little. Others were made by Connor. Mom filled in here and there with some sparkly store-bought ones. He liked the sentimentality of it.I had slipped the gifts I brought underneath the tree while Connor was distracted. It was easy to see which ones were mine because of the flattened bows from being packed in a suitcase. Connor had figured out that Santa was a concept instead of a person already. He loved the idea of him though, so we still talked as if he were real.Connor had asked if we could help some kids who needed gifts instead of buying gifts for him. Everyone brought a gift for Toys for Tots… and for Connor. He and Dad were in charge of dropping the donations off later.Mom didn’t buy actual gifts for the guys usually, she did stockings for them. Inside was usually homemade cookies, some cool little gadget she found, maybe some grooming items, or whatever fun thing she discovered. They were always the same amongst them. For Clara and I, she usually got us matching sweaters, jewelry, or something along those lines.This year, she gave us both bouquet wraps that she had made from the sleeves of her wedding gown. The dress had gotten ruined in storage a few years ago, but she had managed to save a few pieces of it for keepsakes. Clara and I exchanged curious glances as we opened them. Mom just smiled.“Someday mah girls will get married. Save these for that day,” she said softly. I spotted Hyungwon squirming a bit and laughed to myself. It would be a long time, but I would save it away.The guys went off to do whatever they had planned for the day, and I stayed with my family. Kyun said they would be back around 6. I walked them to the door and Minhyuk gave me a sweet little peck of a kiss. It made me happy inside. When I went back to sit down, Mom was just grinning at me.“What? Did I do something?” I asked hesitantly.“No, Creena.”“Then why are you smiling like a crazy woman?”“No reason. No reason atall,” she always combined those two words to make them one.I was even more suspicious after her comment, but I was afraid of what the reason really was, so I dropped it.Mom made a pot of coffee and we just visited. I was so happy to be with them at Christmastime. I hadn’t realized just how miserable this time of year was for me in LA. The weather didn’t really change there, not that we had white Christmases in Georgia very often, but at least I was able to wear a sweater or hoodie here most of the time. It felt a little more like Christmas. And I had really missed my family. I had the thought to just not go back, but I pushed it aside. I had to go back.At promptly 6 o’clock, a car pulled into the driveway. The men had returned right on time. Before they could open the door, Connor was opening it to let them inside. He had been playing with his new Lego set and saw Dad’s SUV pull up.It was time to go, so I said goodbye to everyone and got in Minhyuk’s car. He held my hand for a second and smiled before putting the car in gear and driving off. He asked if I would like to go get dinner and my stomach surprised me and answered for me. I hadn’t even thought about eating. The huge meal we had eaten should have been enough for 2 days. He suggested a Korean pizza place that has Bulgogi pizza and sweet potato stuffed crust. I knew the place and readily agreed.It was Saturday night, and they were busy, so we had to wait while they cleaned off a table. We were seated in the furthest booth from the door. It was cozy and semi-private. We ordered our pizza and two Cokes. The screens over the counter played the latest k-pop videos and absently I was singing along with the songs and he joined in. When the song finished, he said he didn’t know I listened to k-pop.“I listen to a lot of different kinds of music. It depends on my mood. I love swing and big band, like 40’s era. I love the crooners like Sinatra, Dean Martin, and even Michael Buble. That is probably my favorite genre, but I also like k-pop, 80’s, and a bunch of other styles. And I adore classic Hollywood movies. Ingrid Bergman, Humphrey Bogart, those types of movies.”“You fascinate me. The more I learn about you, the more I want to find out,” he leaned in closer and smiled. The pizza came out and the server sat it on the table. It looked amazing. I lifted a slice and the gooey melted cheese had my mouth watering. I placed the first slice on his plate and and then got one for myself. We said a quick thanks in Korean and then had to let it cool off enough to eat.We got back to his house and ended up cuddling on the couch, watching a Korean romantic comedy movie. It wasn’t supposed to be a date, but it felt like one. We made love and slept in each other’s arms. I felt like I never wanted to leave.We only had a few short hours left together. I felt like we were running against the clock. I tried not to, but I was starting to care for him. It was moving out of the purely physical and into something emotional. Who am I kidding? It had been doing that since the beginning. I don’t know if it ever truly was just physical. I had felt a deeper connection to him before we even touched.I woke up in the middle of the night and just laid there watching him sleep. I stroked his face, his beautiful face, and thought about how I would miss it. A tear fell to my cheek, and I closed my eyes to will myself to sleep.
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We showered together earlier and then ate a light breakfast. Afterwards, we spent a leisurely morning having coffee and snuggling on the couch under a blanket. I was laying with my head on his shoulder and my arm and leg across him. He had lit a fire in the fireplace and the crackling sound was soothing.“This visit was too short, Hannah. I find myself needing to be with you more and more. It is like I am addicted to you,” he said as he stroked my hair.“It was very rushed. I wish I could stay longer, but will come back as soon as I can get away. I have enjoyed being with you very much.” He sighed deeply and I asked what was wrong.“What is this that we are doing?” I raised my head to look at him.“What do you mean? We are enjoying each other’s company and having amazing sex.” My tone was very matter-of-fact and that wasn’t the answer he was looking for.“I know. That is how it started. But it feels different than that now. Don’t you feel it too? Do you want to feel that?”“I do feel it, but no, I don’t want to… Wait, that didn’t come out right.” I paused and thought before I spoke again. “I live over 2,000 miles away. I don’t get to come here often. It was hard to get here this time, and I am not sure when I will be back. I really like you and I find myself caring about you. A lot. Too much. I don’t think it is fair to either of us to expect anything from the other. Isn’t this enough?”“No, it isn’t enough. I want more, and I don’t think you are prepared to give it. I am not asking for a commitment. I also don’t think we are ready for that,” he paused. “But I would like to explore whatever this is a little more. If you are not willing to do that, then maybe we should just stop before we go any further.” His words stung more than I expected, but I had no defense.“So you want to go back to being friends? Is that even possible after last night? Maybe we never should have crossed those boundaries in the first place.”“Boundaries,” he said the word in almost a sarcastic tone. “Fucking boundaries. Hannah… I don’t…” he started to speak but shook his head. “Friends. Sure. Let’s be friends.” He used air quotes and spat the word out.We got up and loaded my luggage into his car and drove to my parents’ house. We were having lunch with them before my flight. The drive was quiet and strained, and very awkward. He broke the silence when we were almost home. We were both thinking very loudly.“If we are going to be friends, then we sill still call and text each other.”“Of course. That is what friends do, right?” I forced a smile and he squeezed my hand. This was not going to be easy. There were too many feelings under the surface.Connor came running out the door and I kissed Min on the cheek and got out of the car. I bent down and picked up Connor, spinning him around like Dad did often.We ate lunch and it was hard to be withdrawn around my family, but I felt a sadness that I had a hard time hiding. Kyunnie said he wanted to be the one to take me to the airport because he had barely seen me on this trip. As he drove, he commented that I was unusually quiet and asked what had happened. There was no reason to pretend so I told him.“Minhyuk and I have decided to be friends. Only.”“Friends with benefits?”“No, just friends.”“How do you feel about that?” he asked.“It is the best thing for us. I live too far away for it to be anything else.” I looked over and saw his eyebrow raised. We were at a red light and he was just looking at me. I could see a hundred questions forming in his eyes, but he didn’t ask them.“I really thought you guys were hitting it off. I thought maybe it could turn into something more, and I was rooting for you.”“If circumstances were different, it probably could have. But not over 2,000 miles.” I knew it made sense. I knew it was the best thing. But why did I want to cry? I suddenly couldn’t hold back the tears and I started crying. Ugly crying. Kyunnie pulled off into a parking lot and unfastened his seatbelt so he could hold me. He let me cry into his shoulder. He stroked my head and rocked me.When the blubbering finally stopped, I wiped my face and took the napkin he handed me. I blew my nose and sniffled. I looked at him and he smiled at me.“What? I know I am a mess.”“I knew you liked him. Now I have proof,” he joked to lighten the mood.“Why, Kyunnie? Why him? Why does he have to be so perfect? He just lives in the wrong state.”“Or maybe you live in the wrong state. Did you think of that?” He looked at me with the eyebrow raised again.“I live where I need to live. My business is in LA. My life is in LA.”“But your heart isn’t. I don’t think it ever has been.” I stared blankly at him. Why did he always have to do that? Why was he so deep and emotional? Speaking of deep and emotional…“I am sorry I blubbered like that,” I changed the subject. “It is almost time for my period and I am just very emotional right now. If you showed me a cute kitten, I would cry right now.”“You go right ahead and believe that,” he winked. I smacked him on the arm and pointed to the road.“We need to go, Dr. Im.” He grinned and we headed on to the airport. I had a hard time getting back into my routine when I got back to LA. I felt sluggish and disinterested. I checked my phone every five minutes to see if I had missed a call or message from him. He was quiet in the group chat too. 10 days went by and I didn’t hear from him. I was tired of waiting. We were staying friends, so why the silent treatment?Finally he popped up in the group chat and I felt like a teenager seeing her crush at the mall. I regained my composure and replied like we hadn’t just spent the most amazing and exhausting weekend of my life together. It wasn’t awkward in the chat. It seemed normal, like any other.He texted me a little bit later and apologized for taking so long. He said he had been really busy with school and kept meaning to, but just hadn’t. I accepted his apology and asked how he was doing. We chatted small talk for at least 5 minutes and then there were 3 dots. They went away. They came back, then went away again. Then words finally came through. Words that made me have to sit down. ‘I miss you’ was all he said. I wanted to reply that I missed him like crazy, so I just said ‘me too’. We stopped after that. There was nothing else we could say without going the wrong direction.A few more days went by and I was still struggling with everything. I was making mistakes, I was distracted, I was tired. I was sad. I felt like I was getting the flu or something so I made an appointment with my doctor. She was able to get me in the next day.They were doing my blood pressure and asking all the questions. She asked when my last period was and I answered. She looked at me and questioned the date. I thought for a second and said yes, that was right. I began to do math in my head. I suck at math, so I didn’t trust myself. I looked at the calendar on the wall. My stomach turned over. I was 2 weeks late. I felt my eyes grow huge.“We will do a test to see for sure. Don’t worry.” The tech smiled and patted my arm.My mind began to race. What if I was pregnant? How would Minhyuk react? How would I react? Would we get married? Move in together? Would I even tell him? Would I be a single mom? My thoughts were bouncing all over the place.They took blood and already had the urine sample from when I first arrived. The doctor said I seemed fatigued but she didn’t think I was sick. She talked to me while we awaited the test results. She said they were a little short-staffed and it might take a few minutes. She had to see her next patient and said she would come back when they got the results.I was freaking out inside. I wanted to cry. I wanted to call my mom. My sister, my Kyunnie, but I didn’t. There was no reason to get anyone else upset just yet. Mom would have been ecstatic so I definitely did not want to say anything to her unless it came back positive. Three times. I wanted to be more than 100% sure before I crossed that bridge.I began to calm down and think more rationally. OK, so what if I am pregnant? I am almost 35, so there will be risks. I am in pretty good health, so that is not a concern. I am not ready to be married, and I certainly don’t want to get married for that reason. I want to get married because I can’t imagine being without him. Who is ‘him’, anyway? Is it Minhyuk? Is it someone I don’t know yet? Is it Kyunnie?The last thought made me laugh out loud. That is what I needed, a laugh. I felt better suddenly. I also felt more calm. I was still very anxious, but I was feeling more confident. If I was pregnant, then I would have the most beautiful baby on the planet, next to my nephew. I even pictured that our baby would look a lot like Connor. Clara and I looked very much alike and Connor’s dad was a very handsome Korean man. I smiled at the thought.A soft knock sounded at the door and my stomach was in knots again. Dr. Stevens sat down and took my hand. My nerves were already raw, but she was drawing it out.“Hannah, the test is inconclusive. I had them run it twice but it is just not a clear answer. I am sorry, but I need you to come back in tomorrow so we can try again. Drink lots of water tonight and I want you back here first thing. Can you do that?”“Ye…. yes,” I stuttered. I was spinning. She talked to me for a moment but I really don’t know what she said. I left in a daze, but thankfully the front desk sent me a text with my appointment time the next morning. I would not have had a clue otherwise. I sat in my car for several minutes. I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to scream. This was torture!I composed myself enough to drive home. I had meant to go back to the office, but I called my assistant and asked her to handle everything. I told her I was not feeling well and needed to lie down. That was 100% the truth.I had to talk to someone. I chose Kyunnie. I told him what was happening. He was quiet for a moment. Then, “you know he will be thrilled. I’ve known Minhyuk for a few years now and he talks about kids and family often. You don’t need to be worried about that.”“That does help a little. But I am so confused, Kyunnie. I go from hoping I am to hoping not, in the space of 2 minutes. I don’t know what to feel.” I was crying by then.“I wish I could be there to hold you. I hate that you are alone right now,” his voice was so soft, it was like a hug.“I wish you were here too. I hate this not knowing. And honestly, I don’t know what I want the answer to be.”I felt a little better after talking to him, especially because I was reassured that Minhyuk’s reaction would probably be favorable if it was a positive result. I felt so lonely after we hung up. I had no one close that I could rely on. I began to question my decision to move to the other side of the country. I called Clara. I needed my big sister.I could hear excitement in her voice, even though she was trying to keep it hidden. I wasn’t worried about what my family would think, because I knew they would support me. Mom would have preferred things happen “in order,” but she would still be thrilled with another grandbaby. I was less worried about Minhyuk after talking to Changkyun. I was worried about me. Would I be a good mother? Was I ready to be a mother? How would I handle my business and a baby? My life would be turned upside down. Whether or not I would keep it was not a question. I would keep it and I would adore it.I talked to Clara for over an hour. I asked her not to say anything to Mom in case it wasn’t. We did not want to deal with that disappointment. She agreed that would be bad. I did not sleep well. When I did doze off, I was tormented by dreams of babies and of Minhyuk.The next morning I was at the doctor’s office before they even opened. I hadn’t had coffee yet because I wanted to make sure there was nothing that could interfere with the test. I drank glass after glass of water the night before to flush my system. I drank a lot of water anyway, I had just ramped it up.I sat in silence waiting. Usually I would have music playing but I needed the quiet. I had been going over scenarios, what if I am… what if I am not. With all that, I never reached a conclusion on what I wanted. I realized it didn’t matter what I wanted at that point, since I had already decided to keep the baby, if there was one. Everything else was just the result of the outcome.Kyun called and reassured me. I appreciated the gesture. Just as I was getting my purse to get out of the car, Minhyuk called. I was surprised and stared at the phone for a second before answering. He sounded unsure of himself, which was unexpected.“Hannah, I am sorry if it is too early to call, but I really just needed to hear your voice. Something has been gnawing at me since yesterday and I had to call. Is everything OK? Are you OK?” My shock was represented in silence. “Hannah? Are you there?”“Yes, MinMin, I am here. It is just a surprise and your timing…” I trailed off.“What do you mean?”“Nothing, nevermind. Really, nothing.” I stammered over my words and he became more insistent.“Hannah, what is wrong? You can tell me…”“I might be pregnant!” I said the words before I realized they were coming out of my mouth. I wanted to suck them back in, but they just hung in the air. “I am sorry… I mean… I don’t know… I am at the doc…”“Pregnant? You mean we might be having a baby?” his voice went up an octave.“Yes, I mean maybe. I am here now to find out for sure. I am sorry, I wasn’t going to say anything unless it was positive. I know this is a lot to spring on you…”“Hannah, I am glad you told me. How long… um, when did you think…” he was as unsure of what to say as I was.“Just yesterday. I had been feeling bad and I was late so they did the test. But it was inconclusive, so here I am to do it again.”“What happens if…”“I don’t know. Let’s just see the result first. There may not be anything to talk about,” I paused. “But Minhyuk? If I am, I am keeping it. I don’t expect you to…” he cut me off.“You will not be alone, Hannah. If I am going to be a father, I will do it right. I will not leave you to handle it alone.”“That is sweet, but there is a lot to be discussed if it is. Anyway, they just unlocked the door, so I need to go in.”“Will you call me when you know? Please?”“I will. I promise.” I took a deep breath before I got out of the car. I checked in and they told me to go pee in the cup again. I did as instructed and went to wait in the exam room.It was the longest 15 minutes of my life. Finally Dr. Stevens came in and sat down with me. She was a fan of the dramatic delivery. She opened my chart and said…“Hannah, you are not pregnant.”I began crying. I didn’t know if it was tears of relief or sadness, but they just kept coming. I was happy to finally have an answer, but I was so confused.“Thank you, Dr. Stevens. I am sorry, I don’t know why I am crying.” She handed me a couple of tissues and patted my arm.“I think you are in the very early stages of pre-menopause. This could explain the late cycle and the mood swings, along with some of the other things you mentioned yesterday. It is just the beginning, you have a long way to go. And everything else looks good. I think when you are ready to get pregnant, you should be OK. You will be higher risk, but we specialize in that.” She stood to leave the room and I just sniffled and nodded. When she left, I cried again.I composed myself and went back to the car. I sent Clara and Kyun texts to let them know the outcome, then I called Minhyuk.“Did you find out already?” he asked expectantly.“Yes,” I took a breath, “I am not pregnant.”“Oh… well… um I… I don’t know what to say,” he sounded defeated, like he had just gotten horrible news. I didn’t know how to handle that.“She said I am healthy so I can try again when I am ready.”“Oh, that is very good news!” I could tell he was covering his disappointment.“So… I have to go to work now. I just wanted you to know.”“Thank you for calling me right away,” he paused. “Hannah?”“Yes Minhyuk?”“I would be a good father. I promise.”
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It was February and I was getting busier. I had wedding season, prom, and before those, a few proposal dinners for Valentine’s Day all coming up. I got a call early one morning from the family I had done the 50th anniversary party for when I was in Atlanta.“Hannah, I know you are far far away, and probably are swamped, but… I really need you to take over my daughter’s wedding.”“Well Martha, I would be happy to take a look to see if I can make it work. Are you looking at sometime next year? How many people?” I had worked with them several times when I still lived there, and they hired my dad for their parties. I had enjoyed doing their anniversary party as well.“Well, it will be very intimate, only about 50 people. We just want the ones that really matter to be there. And it is set for April. This year… in April,” my client almost whispered.“What? That is 2 months! Martha, I would love to help, but that is very short notice. I don’t know if there is any way I can make that happen.” I felt awful, but it was true.“I know you can make magic happen and I am willing to pay all your travel expenses, and a generous bonus for the time constraints… plus your full fee even though we already have the venue, the flowers, the invitations, and a lot of random other things. We even have your father for the catering.”“If you already have all that, why do you need me? And what happened to your other planner?”“I want your magic touch, dear. You have such a flair for the aesthetic and the little touches that make it special. Valerie wants a fairytale wedding, and I know you can make that happen. We need someone to direct the whole thing and finish the job. The planner we hired has stopped returning our calls. We’ve been working with her for months, but she just stopped. I would have hired you in the beginning, but I didn’t think I could get you since you were all the way out there. I knew this was a long shot, but I am desperate.”“Oh no! I am so sorry! That is incredibly unprofessional! OK, let me see if I can make it happen. Email me a list of what you already have, and her wishlist. I need the venue, the date, all that information. I promise I will try to make it happen, but I can’t promise that I will make it happen. I will let you know by the end of the week.”“Fair enough. I know it is asking a lot, but I would absolutely love it if you can! We were so thrilled with the anniversary party you did for us, and everything you’ve done in the past.”I looked over my calendar, comparing the date Martha had told me and saw that I did have a potentially free spot. I had two unconfirmed holds, but I was pretty sure at least one wasn’t going to follow through. Neither had paid a deposit yet. They were just “penciled in” for my reference. As a courtesy, I emailed them both and waited for their responses.I wondered how it would be seeing Minhyuk for the first time since we went back to being platonic friends. We had been talking and texting as often as Kyun and I did, so things didn’t feel awkward. I was sure it would be fine. At least I hoped so.I knew that my feelings were deeper than I was ready to admit, and that was not what either of us needed. I was doing OK now by keeping myself busy to avoid thinking about him. It didn’t work as well as I had hoped, but I did manage to put him in his own little space in my head. That space ended up being my dreams mostly. I could control it during the day, but my subconscious was another story.I pushed on with my day, phone calls to venues and florists, emails to clients, reminders to other clients, and then on to paying bills. This was the part I hated, the administrative part. I had Heidi to help me with a lot of it, but she was only part time. And she was on vacation that week, so I had to do it.I heard back quickly from one of the clients and they were still working out their details, so I told them I had to let it go to someone else unless they booked and paid the deposit by the end of business that day, 6PM. They had contacted me 2 months prior and hadn’t booked yet. I had been more than generous with the waiting.I called the other one since they had not responded 2 hours later. I got the voicemail and left them the same information. I had been waiting for her for 3 months, and I wasn’t counting on her ladies’ group booking the date. The last time we had spoken, she said they were still putting things together and nothing was for sure yet. I had let her know then that if someone else paid the booking fee, it was theirs to claim.Neither of these were large events, so they wouldn’t take too much, and I could do both together, but not if I was in Atlanta. I needed them both off my schedule. Silently I hoped for them both to cancel.That afternoon I went to Koreatown to do some shopping. I needed some skincare items and just wanted to walk around. I was in a shop and the song from the pizza place came on. The memories of Minhyuk hit me hard. My heart was pounding, and I had to leave. What was that? I asked myself. I was sure it wasn’t a panic attack, but I had never had one before, so I was only going by how my friends had described them. No, it wasn’t that.I went on to get my items and went home. I couldn’t stop thinking about him the rest of the evening. Kyunnie sent me a photo of all 7 of them hanging out and my heart skipped when I saw him. They were swimming at the neighborhood pool, and he was wet, just like in my dream after the carnival. Dripping. Wet.I threw my phone to the other side of the couch and turned on the TV. Nothing interested me. I tried doing my yoga and that helped a little. It helped me get my mind back under control. That is, until Minhyuk sent me a selca with his hair dripping and that smile that melts my heart. He asked, ‘this is what I am doing right now. What are you doing?’I sent him a mirror selca that I was sure would not be attractive. I didn’t want it to be. I was in a sports bra and yoga pants. My hair was in a ponytail, I was sweaty, and my cheeks were pink. Not pretty.His response? ‘Too sexy. I thought we were just friends now?’ I looked at the phone, very confused. I called him.“What do you mean too sexy? I look awful!” I laughed. “You should not mess with me like that.”“I wasn’t kidding. You look so sexy, like we had just… well, you know.” I blushed when I realized… the sweat, the flushed complexion, the exposed flesh… he saw it completely opposite of how I did.“Oh Minhyuk, I am sorry. I wasn’t… I thought… ugh. I am sorry.” I couldn’t get the words out that were in my head. He laughed. “But hold up… you sent a sexy one first!”“Did not!”“Did too!”We giggled and then talked for a long time. I was sure it would not be awkward when I went home. Hard, yes. Awkward, no. It was not a good idea to pick things back up this time. The distance was just too much. Too hard on a relationship.I had not heard back from either client with the deadline, and it was ten after 6. I got a little excited knowing that I could say yes to Martha. I pulled out my laptop and put together the quote, noting that travel expenses would be reimbursable. I was about to send the email and my phone rang. It was the second client. She said she was ready to book the event. I told her it was too late that she was after the 6pm deadline. Her voice went up about 2 octaves when she told me she had reserved me 3 months ago.“Ms. Kinsey, you did NOT reserve me 3 months ago. You never paid a deposit, and you never indicated you were going to do so. I have sent you email reminders every two weeks. I only contacted you today out of courtesy. You were also aware that until the booking fee was paid, the spot was open to others.”“You can’t do this! This is not good customer service!” She ranted for a full two minutes. I sat quietly, waiting for her to finish. There was no point in trying to speak, she would have just talked right over me.“Mrs. Kinsey,” I said firmly when she took a breath, but she started again. “KAREN!” She stopped speaking finally. “The initial quote I sent you 3 months ago states that unless the deposit is paid, the event is not secured. I was doing you a favor by sending reminders. I did that as a courtesy. You have not booked the date. You have missed the deadline I sent hours ago. I am sorry, but you will need to find another event planner.”“You don’t know who you are messing with! You will regret this!”“I know exactly who you are, and I think I just dodged a bullet. I was going to offer to recommend a couple of other planners, but I respect them, and I would not do that to them.”“Fuck you,” she spat and hung up.“You have a lovely evening,” I said with a smile in my voice.I smiled. I was happy that one was gone, for multiple reasons. I hated working with people like her. Her husband was a politician and she thought she could throw his name around to get her way. It was ironic that her name was actually Karen. I hit send on the email to Martha and closed my laptop.I checked the time in Atlanta and called Mom. It was 9:30 there so I knew she was up.“Mommy, I am coming home for a few days in April!”“Oh Creena, that is wonderful news! But I don’t think we will have a room for you yet. The floor is taking a lot longer than Dad planned, because now he decided to redo the entire basement! And I think Clara has already rented her townhouse.”“She mentioned that she was working on that. I am glad she is staying with you guys though. Connor needs you. Besides, I can stay with Kyunnie. He will love it.”“What about your boyfriend?” she asked innocently.“Mom, I told you he isn’t my boyfriend. He really isn’t, especially now. We are friends and that is all.”“But Creena, he is so perfect for yah,” she pouted.“He is perfect to be my friend. Now can we change the subject, please?”“Fine. You girls and yer men. Sheesh. Will ya ever get it together?” I laughed.“Maybe someday. Hopefully someday,” I said with longing.After we talked a bit, I called Kyunnie. I didn’t bother to check the time. I knew he would be up. He was very excited that I was coming and before I asked, he insisted I stay with him. I agreed, of course. He said that he would be chaperoning again for prom, which just happened to be the weekend before my event.“Why don’t you come early and co-chaperon with me?”“I don’t know about that. I tend to get in trouble when I do that,” I laughed.“Come on, you know you want to dress up and hang out with me. I look damn good in a tux.” I could hear him wink through the phone.“I cannot argue with that. You definitely do. But I don’t know if I can. I can’t dump all that on Heidi.”“You just want to do it all yourself, Hannah. You know you’ve got to have your hands on everything. You suck at delegating.”“What do you mean I suck at delegating? That is the whole purpose of having an assistant!” I was irritated.“A part-time assistant. You can afford her full-time. You just don’t want to. You have to have your hands on everything.”“Im Changkyun, you… you… Ugh. Just stop it!” He laughed because he knew he was right, and he knew I knew he was right. I had no way out of it. I was a control freak.“Consider it a make-up prom, or a do-over. This time with a handsome and sexy date.” I rolled my eyes loud enough for him to hear them.“Fine. I will do it. I will play prom with you.” I was pouting and he was having a lot of fun with it. I hated it when he called me out. He was too good at it.“Too bad I can’t help you shop for a prom dress.”“Shut up.”“I think you need tons of taffeta and ruffles.”“Shut. Up.” He was having too much fun. He knew my horror story of a senior prom night. It involved a strapless taffeta dress with too many ruffles, a fountain, and an asshole date. It wasn’t pretty.“What color are you wearing so I can match?” He just didn’t know when to stop.“Im Changkyun!”“What? I am serious! We are supposed to match. Take me with you when you try on dresses. I want to see.”“Pervert. Just wear classic black. It looks much more elegant. I have to go find a dress for this. What is the style these days? Crap. I hate you.”“Liar. You love me.”“Yeah, whatever.” I wanted to ask about Minhyuk, but I didn’t. If he was there, great. If he wasn’t, that was OK too. I was sure I would see him at some point.“And while you are here, you can hear a new song we’ve been working on. I think you will like it. We’ve been working really hard on some new material. We even have a paying gig. Nothing too impressive, just a wedding, but it pays.”“That is exciting! I am sure you will blow them away.”“As a matter of fact, I think you are going to be there.”“The wedding? You are playing at Valerie’s wedding?”“The reception, yes. Your dad set us up. We decided it will be fun since it is your event. I think she had another band lined up, but they backed out. We stepped in.”“Well, that should be fun! I have only watched you online and that one time at the school. I am looking forward to this.” He told me how they had been practicing some standard wedding songs and a few of their own for this.I texted Minhyuk later and told him I was coming back for a few days. He didn’t reply immediately, and I pouted. He usually did. I knew I shouldn’t expect it, especially since I had no claim on him, but that didn’t stop it. All sorts of scenarios ran through my head. He didn’t want to talk to me. He was mad at me. He was on a date. He was… responding to my text right then. He said he had been in the shower and was happy I was coming. I pushed that image out of my head.I started online dress shopping for ideas that night. I picked out a couple of styles I liked and planned to go to a shop to find something. It was soon going to be hard to find one since prom season was upon us. I knew I needed to get moving on it. I didn’t want to dress too young for my age, and I didn’t want to dress like a chaperon. It was a fine line I had to walk. As promised, I took Kyunnie shopping with me. I Face-Timed him as I looked through the racks. A saleswoman came to help, and I told her what I was looking for, classic and sexy, but not too sexy. She brought me three choices and they were all gorgeous. The first was a black beaded sleeveless gown with an asymmetric neckline and fitted bodice. The skirt made my ass look great and it had a long train. I loved it, but Kyunnie wanted to see the others. I laid the phone down so he could see the ceiling and we could still talk while I changed.The second was embroidered black velvet with a sleeveless bodice and jewel neckline. It had a very open, strappy back. If this were a grown-up event, I probably would have gone with that one, but it showed a little too much skin. Kyun wolf-whistled at me.The third one was a simple classic style in midnight blue. It was gathered along one side at the waist and the asymmetrical neckline left my shoulder exposed. It had long sleeves with jeweled cuffs, a flared skirt that parted with a high slit, and a sweeping train at the floor. It was very Old Hollywood, and I was in love. The saleswoman brought a pair of shoes that were perfect and handed them to me in the dressing room. The 4-inch stilettos were sparkly and made my legs look a mile long. They were studded with tiny rhinestones all over and were embellished with larger stones at the front of the ankle. With the dress being so simple, I could get away with fancy shoes. I loved how they peeked out from under the split. Kyunnie was quiet for a moment then cleared his throat. “That one. That is the one.” I smiled and twirled.I left the store giddy. The fabric of the dress would travel well, but I could also steam it if needed. On a whim, I stopped by the lingerie store. I had this thing for matching underwear, especially when I was dressing up. I left with 3 sets. Dark blue to match the dress, ivory, and red. All lacy, all sexy. I bought them for me. Sexy undies made me feel confident. If they happened to be seen by someone else, then that was a bonus. At least this is what I told myself.I hung the dress on the door of my closet since it was long. The shoes sat on the floor underneath. I had some rhinestone earrings that would be perfect. No necklace for this one, just naked neck. I thought about how I would wear my hair. Up to expose my neck? Classic fingerwaves to fit the Old Hollywood theme? I had some time to decide.I laughed at myself as I tried to get settled in to sleep. It wasn’t my prom. But I was acting like it was. Maybe this one would be better than mine had been. I thought about that night all those years ago and shuddered. This night was almost guaranteed to be better. I had my best friend as my date, so it was already better.That night I dreamt of gliding along the dance floor like Grace Kelly, twirling and twirling until I landed in my partner’s arms, and he dipped me gracefully. As my head lifted, I saw him push the hat up to reveal his eyes… those eyes. Those deep brown eyes with the uneven blink. Minhyuk. Damn it.
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I hired Heidi full-time and gave her a bonus. I felt guilty for piling so much on her suddenly, but she was excited to take it on. She was an excellent assistant and understood my thought process and could mimic my style very well. I got her ready for my upcoming vacation. I was going to be gone for almost 2 weeks and was comfortable leaving it all in her hands.The closer it got, the more nervous I got. It was the first time I would see him since… I made myself focus on the tasks I had to get done. I was wrapping up the final details for Valerie’s wedding in Atlanta completely on the phone and via email. I would be able to visit them in person before the day.It was Monday and I had my flights booked and my suitcases on standby. I was taking two this time since I had an evening gown and business clothes. I had been picking my outfits carefully and packing some of the casual stuff as I chose them. I was flying out on Thursday, then spending Friday with my family. Saturday was the prom. I decided to actually make it a vacation and was flying back the next Thursday. I hated how rushed my last visit had been.Now that Heidi was handing so much, I felt like I could take a break. I had been working almost non-stop for 2 years and barely got to come home during that time. It was time to change that. I missed my family and I was able to do it now, so that is exactly what I was going to.I was so busy that the next 3 days flew by and it was time to go before I knew it. I asked Heidi to drive me to the airport since my flight was leaving at a decent time of day this time. She hugged me and told me not to worry, she had everything under control. She would call me if she needed anything. Minhyuk texted me while we were waiting to take off and told me to have a safe flight and he was excited to see me. That made me happy. It shouldn’t have, but it did. I had come to terms with our friendship. If circumstances had been different… I shook myself back to reality as the engines began to whir and the ‘Fasten Seatbelts’ signs came on.Four turbulent hours later, I was headed to baggage claim. Clara was waiting in the pick-up line when I came out. She ran to meet me and her smile faded when she saw my face.“What is going on with you?”“Nothing. What do you mean?”“Hmm, something is off. I’ll figure it out.” I really had no idea what she saw. I texted in the group chat on the way home that I had arrived.Mom fed us when we got home and I ate so much I thought my stomach was going to pop. Connor and I curled up on the couch next to mom and I nodded off. I woke to a man’s voice. I blinked at the face hovering over me as it came into focus. It was Kyun. I smiled. He had come to take me to his house.It was a short ride to his house. I unpacked a few things in the guest room and went to wash up. I came back to the living room and Kyun was stretched out on the couch on his side. He held out his arm for me to come snuggle.“You know, when either of us starts actually dating someone, we are going to have to stop doing stuff like this,” I said teasingly.“Why? They would just need to accept that this is us.”“That person would have to be a saint. Nobody would want their boyfriend or girlfriend spooning another person.” These thoughts hadn’t even occurred to me until I met Minhyuk. I had always assumed Kyun and I would just continue as we always had been.“Well, for now we don’t have to worry about that. So come here.” He patted the cushion and I took my spot. We watched a British show on Netflix. He had been watching it and gave me a quick rundown so I would know what was going on.I fell asleep again and I woke up to Kyun nudging me gently and laughing softly behind me. I turned to him to see why he woke me.“Did you know you talk in your sleep?”“No, and you’ve never mentioned it before,” I mumbled.“I haven’t heard it before or I would have told you.”“What did I say?” Curiosity was getting me and I had no memory of dreaming.“Let’s just say it must have been a very good dream that I thought you might not want me to overhear. It featured our mutual friend though.” My cheeks suddenly burned hot and I turned away in embarrassment. He put his hand on my arm and squeezed. “Next time you tell me you just want to be friends with him, I am calling bullshit.” He wasn’t laughing anymore.I sat up and looked at him. My thoughts were in turmoil again. “Kyunnie, I do want more than that. But I am not interested in a long-distance, see each other 2 or 3 times a year, kind of relationship.” I crossed my legs on the couch and put my hands under my thighs, hunching my shoulders. He patted my back.“You aren’t even willing to give it a try?”“We would both end up hurt and that is not good for anyone. I would rather avoid that.”“So you are deciding for both of you? He has no say in the matter?”“He hasn’t said anything so far.”“Did you give him a chance to?”“He is a grown man who knows how to speak his mind. He could speak up any time.” I shot a glance over my shoulder. Kyun had a very serious look on his face.“Unless he was letting you drive. If he thought you weren’t interested, why would he pursue it? Speaking as a man myself, I would not push if she said no.” I had no response for that. I really hadn’t given him a chance. I put him in the friend zone and left him stranded.“This is best,” it was a weak response, but it was all I had. “I am going to bed. See you in the morning.”“Sweet dreams,” he teased. I flipped him a bird over my head as I walked away. He laughed hard.Clara and Mom picked me up the next morning and we spent the day doing girl things. Connor was in school and Dad was working, so it was just us. We got our nails done, we went to the spa, we ate, and we went shopping.Clara wanted to go into a fancy lingerie boutique that had just opened. I joined her, but Mom decided to sit that one out. We knew she would give us a hard time later.The selection was impressive. They had beautiful teddies, cami sets, and bra and panty sets. In the back was the racier section. Garter belts, crotchless panties, strappy corsets, and several other fun looking items. We giggled like we were kids seeing this stuff for the first time.I loved garter belts and stockings and the ones they carried were both sexy and functional. I picked up a couple of pretty ones along with some sheer stockings and some backseam ones. I found a beautiful silk robe with matching teddy. I finished it off with a pair of slippers with feather poufs, just like the women wore in the movies I loved. Clara bought some pretty things as well. She picked up a pair of crotchless panties and giggled.“I wonder what Wonnie would think of these?” she mused.“It would make for an interesting evening for sure.”“You should get some,” she said as she dropped them into her shoping bag.“I don’t need those. The rest of this is for me. I like wearing sexy things. These?” I held a pair of the naughty undies from my pinched fingers, “these are a waste of money for me.”“You never know. They could be fun. Even by yourself,” she winked. I threw the ones I was holding at her. “I dare you to get some. No, I double dog dare you!”“Wow, are we back in high school?” I chided her. “Fine. Everyone knows there is no going against the double dog dare.” She smiled and patted my butt.“You’ll thank me someday.”“I am sure I will.” I rolled my eyes as I placed them in my bag. Something caught my eye and I walked to the next aisle. “Clara! Come here!”“What?” she hurried over.“Vibrating panties… like in that movie!” I whispered loudly.“You have to get those. That would be a fun scene to recreate,” she laughed.“Mmm, no. But they could be fun.” I stuffed a pair in my bag and one in hers. We laughed.We found Mom when we were done and she had ventured to a bookstore and was having a cup of coffee and reading a new book. She shook her head at us when we sat down beside her.“Looks like you two got new wardrobes,” she commented on the size of our shopping bags.“Basically,” I laughed. “They had some beautiful stuff in there.“What did ya even need it for. You need a man first,” she said dryly. Clara and I exchanged a quick glance. I didn’t have one, but she did.“Let’s go, girls. Time to go pick up our little man.”We sat in the pick-up line for several minutes, waiting for Connor to come out. I was absently watching for him to appear in the door and wondering why I had just spent a small fortune on sexy underthings with no one to share them with, when I spotted Connor. He turned and waved to someone behind him but I couldn’t see who it was. Was it a friend? Was it his teacher? Damn I needed to see!He ran to the car with his hands hooked into his backpack straps and a big smile on his face. He didn’t know that me and Mom would be in the car. It was a surprise for him. He started jabbering 90 miles a minute while he strapped himself into his booster seat. He told us about how Mr. Lee had let them paint today and how he sang for them. He said Mr. Lee told them he had a special friend and he was writing a song for her.My heart sank. He was dating. Why was I upset? I was the one who said we shouldn’t be anything but friends. I had no right, no claim to him. It still hurt though. Surprisingly bad. I forced a smile and turned my attention back to Connor and his narration.I was in a mood the rest of the night. Clara and Mom being the perceptive duo they are, called me out. I didn’t appreciate being put on the spot, even though they were right. I tried to deny it to them, but I knew that they were right. I was falling for him. Hard. I had tried to fight it and was failing miserably.It didn’t change the situation though. I did not want the problems involved in the long-distance thing. I wasn’t prepared to come back to Atlanta, and he was not moving to LA. So there. We were stuck like this. Or I was, he seemed to be doing OK with it. I took a deep breath and decided that I would too.Back at Kyunnie’s house, I told him what I had told myself earlier. He looked confused, but nodded in support. I ended up crying later and fell asleep in his bed. I needed someone to hold me, and he was really good at that. He had a way of calming me down when I needed it. Yoga could only get me so far.I blamed my mood on the pregnancy scare. It had screwed with my emotions and made me feel and think things I wouldn’t have otherwise. The fact that he was willing to raise a child with me when we hadn’t even been on a real date said so much for his character. It also made me recognize a void in my life that I refused to acknowledge. Deep down I wanted a family. I was nearing 35 years old and I was alone. I wanted a husband, kids, and a life for myself. These were the thoughts I had late at night when I was lonely and vulnerable. The rest of the time I suppressed those desires. I hadn’t met anyone worth giving up control for yet.Kyun held me all night. I felt better when I woke up. Things were different in the sunlight. I got up and made myself a cup of coffee. I was sitting at the kitchen table with my feet in the chair. Kyun came into the kitchen, tying his robe. He came to me and kissed my forehead. “Good morning, Merida.”“Mmm, if you say so. We have a date tonight, don’t we?” I didn’t sound enthusiastic.“We do, and you might need some Cinderella magic to get in shape for it,” he laughed and gestured to my face. I could feel my eyes were puffy and my hair had to be wild if he was calling me Merida.“Hmph, get her on the phone. See if she has any openings today.”“She may not, but I do. Finish your coffee then get your work out clothes on. We are going to the gym. Call me ‘Kyunderella’.” He laughed at his own bad joke.“Yippee,” I said flatly.He took me to the gym and got me sweaty and out of breath. Then he took me into the sauna and made me hot and sweatier. By the time I hit the shower I felt better. I wasn’t puffy and I felt relaxed. I wasn’t thinking about the fact that Minhyuk had only texted me a couple of times since I had gotten back. I wasn’t going to let it bother me. I was good with being friends. I repeated that to myself about 10 times.We went for lunch and then back home. I needed to get ready and we had to be at the hotel early, before the students started showing up. I asked if Kyun thought I should go hair up or down and he said up because it would show off my neck. I curled it and did my make up while it set. Then I swept it up and pinned it, leaving some loose curls.I put on the new bra and thong that matched my dress. I left my legs bare. I stepped into the silky gown and felt instantly glamorous. I called to Kyun to help me zip up and he growled when he stepped in the room.“You are stunning, Hannah. Simply stunning,” he purred.“Thank you. You look pretty hot yourself.” He had his tux pants and white shirt on. The shirt was open and his abs were peeking out. “You had better put those away. They are dangerous.” He grinned and zipped my dress, planting a tiny kiss on my shoulder.He stood behind me and put his arms around me. “You ready for the best prom night ever?”“Almost. I need to put on my shoes and earrings. I forgot to bring perfume. How did I forget to bring perfume?”“I am sure I have something you will like.” Kyun had quite a collection of scents. I picked up a couple to smell and one was distinctive to me.“This… it smells like him.” I sat it down and stepped back like I had been bitten. “I can’t wear that one.” He picked one and handed it to me. It smelled like roses, but sexy, not overly floral. “This will do.” I dabbed a little behind my ears and down my cleavage.“Do you plan on being motorboated later?” he laughed.“The night is full of possibilities,” I patted his cheek as I turned to go back into the bedroom. I put on my rhinestone earrings and then sat down to put my shoes on. I picked up my evening purse and grabbed a pair of flats for later. These shoes were gorgeous, but I sensed pain in my near future. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror and was pleased with what I saw. Kyun stood beside me and took a photo of us and sent it to my Mom.I reached for my clutch and knocked over the bag from the lingerie shop. Kyun reached to pick it up and I lunged for it, knowing what was in there. He grinned and grabbed the bag first. I stood there, waiting for it.“Well, well, well… look at these,” he pulled the vibrating panties out of the bag. “What else do we have?” He went back in and rummaged through, pulling out the crotchless panties. “I thought you weren’t…”I snatched them from his hands and tossed them back into the bag. “Clara dared me. Was I just supposed to let that go? It was a double-dog dare.”“I see your point. You had to. And I guess you don’t really need a partner for either of those.” I blushed at the implication. “But I would be willing to help. We could be totally touchless with that remote,” he winked in a very sexy way. I blushed and smacked his arm.“No thank you. I’ll be saving those for a special occasion.” He just laughed and held up his keys.As we drove to the hotel, a thought occurred to me. “So if staff, parents, and guardians are allowed to be chaperons, why am I here? I am no longer a guardian.”“Because I wanted to give you a proper prom and this was the only way I could get you here for it.” He grinned. I punched his arm. “Ow, that hurt!”“Good! But thank you.” I said softly. He squeezed my hand and kept driving.We checked in and I found a place to sit while he went to tend to the festivities. I spotted Courtney the cougar and rolled my eyes. Her daughter was in middle school, so I was a little surprised to see her there. Anyone could tell she spent a lot of money to look as good as she did, but it was obvious that it was not natural.I was bored, so I wandered around a little, checking out the venue. The hotel was beautiful. It was a high-end place with lots of marble and ornate decor. I took a few selcas, I did look really good after all. I wandered down the hall, enjoying the way the skirt of my gown brushed against my legs. I felt very sexy. Sexier than I had in a long time. I twirled as I walked and let the silky fabric flow. I realized I had no idea where I was going and stopped. I turned to go back to the hall and my breath caught in my throat.Minhyuk stood propped against the wall. He was in a tuxedo and he had dyed his hair black. He was wearing the glasses he had on the first day we met. The whole package was too much. He was magnificent. He was breathtaking. He was still off limits.I finally took a breath and got control of myself. I smiled at him and took a hesitant step forward. He said my name and I almost lost my nerve. He smiled and I melted.“It is good to see you. You look amazing,” his voice washed over me like the silk on my legs.“You look amazing too. The hair… I love it. It is very sexy.” I started raising my hand to touch it and stopped. I smiled weakly.“Were you looking for me?” he asked.“I was just wandering while I waited for my date to come back.” Why did I say date?“Changkyun told me he was bringing you tonight. I hope you have a good time.”“I plan to,” I smiled. “I should get back.” I took a step forward. He held out his arm.“May I?” We walked arm-in arm back to the hall. Kyun was there and smiled when he saw us together. The students were beginning to arrive and the music had started.Several times during the evening, I danced with Kyun, and quite a few times I danced with Minhyuk. I noticed Courtney had her eyes on me a lot, especially when I danced with him. I wanted to rub her face in it, but I thought better of it.I took a potty break and wondered how I was going to manage the silk. I had to lift it all carefully and hold it, but I managed. I washed my hands and touched up my face a little. When I came out of the bathroom Minhyuk was standing there. He took my hand and I opened my mouth to speak. He put his finger to his lips in the classic shhh gesture and I did. He led me to a nearby office and shut the door.“I can’t do this, Hannah. I can’t be your friend. I thought I could, but… I need you too much,” he cupped my face in his huge hand and kissed me. The room started spinning and I clung to him. A small whimper escaped my lips as his tongue found mine. I returned his kiss and grabbed his head with both hands.He reached inside the slit of my skirt and ran his hand up my thigh, pulling me against his body. I lifted my leg and hooked it around his. He was kissing my neck as his fingers dug into my thigh. Suddenly the fog of passion cleared and I stopped. I stepped back and he looked lost.“I can’t… you are seeing someone. I can’t do this to her,” I was out of breath.“What are you talking about? I am not seeing anyone. Where did you even get that idea?”“Connor said you were writing a song for a special friend. Who…”“You, silly girl. I wrote a song for you.”I didn’t have anything to say to that. I was speechless. I was dumbfounded. I was whatever word fits to show that my mind was blown. I stammered in an attempt to say words. He smiled sweetly and caressed my cheek with his thumb.“Min… I… I don’t know what to say to that.”“You don’t have to say anything. And I am sorry for ambushing you. I am going crazy tonight. You look so… just stunning. That dress is…” he made a guttural sound in place of a word.I was still reeling from the kiss and the revelation, but somehow my big girl brain stayed in charge. “Minhyuk, we can’t do this. It is going to be too hard to be so far apart and never see each other. I can’t put you through that and I don’t want to go through it either.” He stepped back like I slapped him. I wanted to cry. I had the man of my literal dreams in my hands and I was pushing him away. Again.“Is that really what you want? In your heart of hearts, is that it?” his voice was barely above a whisper and his eyes burned into my soul. I opened my mouth to say yes, it is what I want. But my words betrayed me.“No. It is not. I want you. I want you so bad it hurts.” He crushed my mouth with his and we moved backwards against the door, landing with a thud. I lost all resolve and gave in to my feelings. I held nothing back. I felt free.Our hands were all over each other and the air was charged. Neither of us heard the footsteps coming down the hallway. The sudden knock on the door and wiggling of the handle jarred us back to reality.“Mr. Lee? Are you in there?” A female voice called from the other side. We were gasping for air and he stayed silent, hoping the voice would go away. He nipped at my lips while we waited. “Mr. Lee, I know you are in there. I need to speak to you.” She was insistent.He motioned for me to be quiet and ran his fingers through his jet black hair. I bit my lip to keep from pulling him back to me. He adjusted his shirt and tie and looked at me to see if they were in place. I nodded, still biting my lip. He smiled that sideways smirk that makes me putty in his hands. He took a breath and opened the door enough to talk to the person but not allow visibility or entry.“May I help you?” he said to the person.“Ah there you are. The other chaperons were looking for you. You aren’t on the floor.”“Sorry? No, I don’t think so.”“Excuse me? What exactly do you mean by that.”“I mean that I am not here as a chaperon, so they wouldn’t be looking for me.”“But… you…” I could hear the woman’s shock in her voice. I was trying not to giggle.“Ms. Lewis, I am in the middle of something. Would you excuse me?”“Mr. Lee, I know you are engaging in inappropriate behavior with a guardian,” her voice changed to contempt.“Actually, I am not. And you should get on back to the hall, because you are a chaperon… and you should stay out of other people’s business.”“I will report you to the board!” she spat as he closed the door in her face and locked it.“Who was that?” I whispered.“That was Courtney the cougar, as you call her.” My eyes grew large and my hand went over my mouth.“Are you going to be in trouble?” I was worried for him.“No. There is nothing to worry about.” He really didn’t sound worried.“But it sounds like you could. And that makes this even more naughty.” I grabbed his jacket lapels and pulled him back to me. I kissed him again, “but we probably should get back out there. I seriously do not want you to get in trouble.”“Well first of all, you are no longer a guardian. Second, I just came tonight to see you because Kyun told me he was bringing you. I am not here as a chaperon. And third… I own the school.”
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I was stunned by his comment. So stunned that the moment was lost.“What? You own the school? Connor’s school? How is that even a thing?” He smiled at me.“Well, it is a private academy, not a public school. It has private ownership. I don’t advertise it. I have a board of directors and I stay behind the scenes. I love teaching. I love my students. I hate the administrative stuff, so I let the dean and the board handle all of that.”“Does Changkyun know?” Surely he would have told me.“Well, yes… but he was sworn to secrecy. Don’t be upset with him.”“He does know how to keep secrets. I just never expected him to keep them from me.” I was a little irritated, but at the same time I respected that he upheld his friend’s confidence.“The guys all know, but again… silence. The board and Dean Whitlock all know. No one else.” He paused, then added, “This doesn’t change anything. Or I hope that it doesn’t… does it?”“I… maybe? I don’t know. I’m not sure how, but it feels different. I just need to process it…” my head was spinning. “It does explain how Kyun was able to pull strings to get Connor enrolled late.” I shot him a look then checked my hair in the mirror hanging on his wall. I felt my control returning and decided that was something to deal with later. I smiled at him. “Perhaps we can pick this up after the prom. I never had a real prom night,” I winked.“I would like that very much,” his voice was raspy and low and it made my insides melt. He put his hands on my waist. “I really love your hair up like this, your neck is lovely,” he said as he kissed the flesh behind my ear, making my knees go weak.Walking back to the hall, thoughts were swirling in my head. What am I doing? This is crazy. Who exactly is Minhyuk? What other secrets does he have? I can’t do this. I want to do this. What is this? Being with him was going against everything I had been trying to make myself believe for the past few months. At that moment I didn’t care. I was high on Minhyuk.We slipped back into the dance during an upbeat song with lots of energy. Kyun spotted us, and smiled knowingly as he winked at me. I blew him a kiss and went to dance with Minhyuk. Just as we got on the dance floor, the song ended and a slow one began. He pulled me against him and we danced. Courtney was glaring from her “station”. I ignored her. I wanted to rub it in her face, but I knew better.Kyun came over and tried to cut in. Minhyuk didn’t step out, so the three of us finished the dance together, laughing. We took a break and got refreshments. My feet were hurting, as expected, so I took my shoes off and started rubbing my foot. My dress fell open and both of them scrambled to catch it. I put my leg down quickly. Minhyuk got on one knee in front of me and started massaging my foot.He locked eyes with me as his fingers worked magic. Kyun leaned in and whispered, “you guys need to remember where you are. I can feel this is going to escalate quickly.” Min gave my foot one last squeeze and took his seat. Kyun laughed.I spotted a girl by the door. She looked like she was crying. I pointed her out to Kyun, since he was the chaperon. He sighed and went to check on her.He spoke to her and I saw her shake her head and wipe her face. She wrapped her arms around herself and it looked like she was about to really start bawling. I told Minhyuk I was going to help. He nodded and stood up. I put my shoes back on and walked over. I introduced myself to the girl and asked if she would rather talk to me. She nodded and I took her arm. I guided her into the hallway.I led her to Minhyuk’s office. I sat down on the couch with the girl and handed her some tissues from the nearby table. She said her name was Kelly. Her date was dancing with another girl and was ignoring her. I had a flashback to my prom night and a similar situation. She said this was their first date, but she’d had a crush on him for a long time. He asked her to the prom and she was thrilled that he had finally noticed her. But now she thought he was making fun of her.She had mentioned she was not one of the popular girls and never expected him to ask her. I was getting angry at the boy because it was obvious he had played her from the beginning. She broke down and the tears just flowed. I wanted to go find him and shake him. Instead I just held her hand and let her cry. When she settled down a bit, I began to recount my prom night to let her know she was in good company.“I had been dating this guy who had dropped out of school. That was my first mistake,” she laughed a little and that gave me encouragement. I continued, “I convinced him to take me to the prom. He really didn’t want to go. He was a couple of years older and felt it was childish. He finally gave in. My parents really did not like this guy, by the way. But I thought they were just old and clueless.”“My parents don’t like Blake,” she said softly.“There is probably a reason. Parents know things. I don’t know how, but they do. So Keith was late picking me up. He would not dance with me. He stayed outside in the courtyard most of the night. I caught him on the phone and overheard his conversation. He was talking to another girl, making plans for later.”Kelly’s eyes got big and she asked what happened next. “I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around. He laughed instead of trying to hide it. Words were exchanged… not ones I would like to repeat. I called him out for cheating on me. He said he was actually cheating on her with me. I lunged at him and he pushed me. I fell backwards into the fountain.“Other kids were out there and they had all started watching the show. A couple of guys came and helped me out of the fountain. It wasn’t easy because taffeta gets really heavy when wet. And all those ruffles made it even heavier. My dress slid down and I barely caught it in time. Thankfully I was wearing a strapless bra. I barely had any boobs yet and Mom had to convince me to wear it.” I was able to laugh at the memory, but it had been traumatic at the time.“You must have been so embarrassed,” she said sympathetically.“I was humiliated. Keith just stood there laughing. When I was able to move, I walked over and slapped him. The principal came over then and escorted him off the premises.”“How was it when you went back to class?” I could see she was worried about her own situation.“It was hard. I won’t lie. I was the topic of conversation for a few days. But you know, it passed. Something else got their attention and they left me alone. Things like this always pass. You just have to hold your head up and keep going.” I leaned in a little closer and put my hand on her arm, “you know, they only get the power you give them. So what if they talk about you. It means they have noticed you. If they notice you, you can use that. Don’t let them have power over you. Take advantage of this opportunity and use it. Don’t let boys like Blake treat you this way. You don’t need them. Any of them. If one is worthy of you, then you can consider giving him your attention. But only if you really want to.” Kelly smiled and her face completely changed.“Blake is cute and popular. I thought he was nice too, but I see now that he is a jerk. I can do better.”“Yes you can. You are a beautiful girl. You just need to work on believing that.”“That is easy for you to say. You are gorgeous.”I laughed, “do you think I always looked like this? When I was in high school I had wild red hair and braces. I most certainly did not look like this.” I gestured to myself. She smiled.“So there is hope for me yet, I guess.”“Yes. There is. You just need a confidence boost,” I patted her cheek. “Now let’s get you cleaned up and back out there. You’ve got a boy to break up with.”I didn’t have make-up with me, but she had her face powder and lipstick in her purse. She cleaned up her mascara with a tissue and touched up her face to hide the redness. She smiled at me, ready to face her bully…. er, date. I meant date.We walked back into the room and she pointed out Blake. Kyun was observing the scene and Minhyuk was propped against the wall looking delicious. I noticed a boy watching intently when we came back. He looked nervous, but relieved to see Kelly. I put some things together in my head.“Kelly, who is that cutie over there?”“That is Nathan. He is in my class. He’s really nice.”“Does he like you?”“Oh no, he is my friend.”“Why don’t you go dance with him? He doesn’t look like he has a date tonight.”“I don’t think he does. I am not sure why he came.”“Oh, I think I know.” I winked at her and she blushed with a shy smile. I think she was starting to catch on. She hugged me and went to talk to Nathan. He put his hand on her arm and seemed to be asking if she was OK. I saw her smile and nod and then they went to dance.Kyun and Min appeared by me. “My work here is done,” I said in my best superhero voice. We watched the new couple for a minute as they danced and giggled. Blake had noticed too and tried to cut in. Kelly said no and they turned away and kept dancing. Blake stormed out of the room. I laughed. Kelly was going to be just fine.I spotted Shownu on the other side of the room and went to say hello. He was the high school swim coach, so it made sense that he had gotten roped in to chaperoning. I looked back at my dates and winked. It occurred to me that this school had a high number of handsome male teachers. I also noticed how many moms were here chaperoning. Why wasn’t my school like this? I mused.I took Shownu by the hand and led him to the dance floor. He protested at first, but then relented when I pouted. I saw the other two watching. They were not amused. That made me have even more fun. After we danced, we talked for a few minutes.“Nunu, you must love coaching.”“I do, but why did you say that?”“Well, I know the restaurants are doing well. As partner, you could be doing that instead.”“I probably could, but I prefer being a silent partner. I let Kihyun run everything. I just like to eat.” That adorable smile made his eyes almost disappear. Food made him smile like that. So did his students. I felt a hand at my waist and turned to find Minhyuk beside me. He and Nunu talked for a minute and he stole me away for a slow song.“I don’t want to share you,” he said in my ear. Electricity shot down my body. “Not even with Changkyun.” I pulled back to look at him and he smiled.“Changkyun was here first, so technically, isn’t he sharing me with you?” I mused.“Good point. But I still don’t like it.” Kelly and Nathan came up beside us and gave me the distraction I needed. I wasn’t sure how to handle the conversation. That is what got me so messed up around him. I was unsure of myself, of my emotions. The sweet couple smiled at me and danced on, leaving me with my thoughts and a very sexy man.I motioned for him to come closer so I could say something, “For the record, I don’t belong to either of you. So I will be in charge of the sharing.” I smiled and bit my lip, “and I choose you.” His eyes were smoldering and he looked like he was about to devour me.The DJ announced that the photo booth would be shutting down in 15 minutes. I grinned and took his hand, then grabbed Kyun’s as we passed by him. They were both confused.“Photos! I need to document this night. This is my ‘Do Over Prom’. And I have a bonus date this time.” We got there just before the last rush. We Did a group photo and then ones with me and each of the guys separately. A few minutes later the DJ announced there were only 3 songs left and thanked everyone for coming. The crowd had already thinned out and the refreshments had been cleaned up. Minhyuk stepped aside and let me dance with Kyunnie once more. He stood close and watched like an eagle. If I didn’t know better, I would think that he was jealous. But that would mean we were in a relationship, and we were not. I wasn’t sure what we had, but it was not that. Minhyuk and I needed to establish where we stood… what this was. I felt a moment of hesitation, kicking myself for not sticking to my resolve. This was going to be hard.But all of that would have to wait. It was my prom night and I was going to enjoy it. I hadn’t planned on being with him that night, so I wasn’t prepared to go home with him. All my stuff was at Kyun’s house. I had been weak in the moment and given in to his charms. I don’t think even a fortress could have withstood that onslaught.Min cut in towards the end of our dance. He whisked me away with a spin, then pulled me against his body. Changkyun cleared his throat as a gentle reminder that we were not alone. Minhyuk just gave me that sideways smirky smile and left me reeling as he released his hold on my waist. He had no idea how he affected me… or maybe he knew exactly.When the last student had exited, the staff and chaperons headed to the doors in a mass exodus. I was ready to go too. I hooked my arms in each of theirs and started walking towards the door. There was a huge mirror on the wall and I caught a glimpse of us. I stopped and turned my dates so that I could see us. The first thing I noticed was what a good-looking group we were. Second, how handsome they were, and third, how long that dress and shoes made my legs look. I looked back and forth between them and said, “take me home, boys.”We made it all the way to the cars, which just happened to be parked beside each other, before Kyun asked who was taking me home. I had been flip flopping on that decision since we started walking. Go to Kyun’s like I had planned originally? Or throw caution and sanity to the wind and go with Minhyuk? I knew Minhyuk had plans to remove my dress later, and I was so ready that after all the sexual tension that had been building all night. After all, I was wearing matching underwear and it shouldn’t go to waste. I think the decision had been made.As if he could read my mind, Minhyuk spoke up, “I bought a purple toothbrush for you.” He winked.Kyun held up his finger, “ah yes! That reminds me…” he opened the car door and reached in behind the passenger seat. He came back out with my carry-on bag. “I grabbed your makeup and skin care from the counter, and your bottles out of the shower. I also got a change of clothes for you. You’ve got some nice lacy…” I smacked his arm and he laughed. “Anyway, I put some of those in there. They match,” he grinned. He knew me too well.“Thank you very much,” I took the bag from him. “When did you do that? I was with you the whole time?”He winked, “I only had time to grab enough for one night, so I’ll see you tomorrow?” he grinned without actually answering my question.“I’ll have her home by midnight tomorrow,” Minhyuk patted his arm and laughed. He took my bag and placed it behind his seat. I hugged Kyun and told him we would see him at Mom’s at 5 for dinner. I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him. I felt Minhyuk tense up a bit, but then he moved around the car to open the door.He helped me get into the car with my miles of fabric and shut the door. He and Kyun spoke for a second and then Minhyuk joined me. He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss and smiled. He started the engine and we pulled away. Kyun stood there smiling and waving like a proud parent.We were home and parked inside his garage in less than 10 minutes. I had butterflies as he practically skipped around to my side to open my door. He made a grand gesture of it by bowing and holding out his hand as if I were royalty. I took his hand and purposefully let my dress fall open as I slowly swung my leg out of the car. I gave him quite the flash and he bit his lip as he shook his head hard to the side.Satisfied with his reaction, I stood and walked past him, trailing my finger under his chin as I did so. He grabbed my waist and pulled me back against his hard body and kissed my neck. Somehow we made it inside without tearing each other’s clothes off in the garage.He led me inside and offered me a beverage. I thought having water on hand would be good for later, so I accepted. He tilted his head back to take a long drink and his Adam’s Apple moved up and down his throat. A drop of water ran down it and I watched as it glistened in the light. I was mesmerized. When his eyes found mine again, I was already weak. When I was with him, I was at his mercy. It was the one time I could relinquish control to someone else. That scared me, but I also found it a little thrilling. Under different circumstances I probably would have shut it down, but I didn’t want to. He had a power over me that I couldn’t explain… didn’t want to explain. I just wanted to feel. I just wanted him.
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I sat my bottle on the counter and started to remove my shoes when he took his off, but he motioned no. He took my hand to lead me to the living room. He sat me on the couch and turned on some music over the bluetooth speakers and dimmed the lights. He untied his bowtie and took off his jacket and then rolled up his sleeves. He got down in front of me and removed my shoes, caressing and kissing my feet as he did so. He then moved up my calves and thighs, massaging all the way. He stopped with a wink before he got all the way up under my skirt.He stood and held out his hand for me to stand with him. He pulled me against his body and held my waist with his left hand. I could feel the heat radiating across my back. With his right hand, he took mine and we began to dance. I was much shorter without my heels and had to look up to see his beautiful face.As much urgency as we had felt earlier in the evening, the mood had shifted to a more romantic one. Our pace was slower and not rushed. We knew we had all night. He held my hand against his chest and we looked into each other’s eyes as our bodies moved together to the soft music. It was sensual and I was lost in the moment.I wanted to let myself go. I felt free with him, but I could only let it go so far. I had a line that I would not cross. He had pushed me close to it, but I had held on and not gone over. That line was there for protection. I had to keep control of my emotions, but I could let him have my body freely.I felt his hand move to the top of my dress and find the zipper. He started pulling it down while holding my gaze. When the zipper stopped at my waist he looked frustrated. I smiled and turned to give him access. He kissed my neck and moved down my back. My skin was on fire from his lips and it was spreading.He got the zipper past the stubborn spot and kissed all the way to the top of my thong. He turned me back around and slipped the dress over my shoulder and then helped me get my arms out. The dress fell to a dark puddle around my feet. His sharp intake of breath made me weak.“You are a goddess, Hannah. So beautiful…” his mouth covered mine and then I was in his arms. He carried me to the bedroom and laid me gently on the bed. I was completely entranced by him. I was ready for him to do whatever he wanted to me. He stood up and began removing his clothes. I turned to my side and propped on my elbow to watch.He pulled his shirt out of his pants and unbuttoned it slowly, letting it hang open when he finished. His chest peeked through as he unfastened his belt and pants, letting them fall to the floor. He slipped his socks off and he was left in his unbuttoned shirt and boxer briefs. They were strained from his erection. I think I licked my lips as I looked him up and down.He smiled that deadly smile and moved toward me. I stood on my knees on the bed and slipped the shirt off of him. I reached for the waistband of his underwear, but he leaned me back on the bed and laid beside me.“Slow down, Cheonsa. I want to savor you.” His words flowed over me like warm water and I melted. His fingertips trailed from my collarbone to the edge of my bra. He traced the line and watched as my nipples hardened. His fingers continued their journey between my breasts and down my abdomen, pausing to circle my belly button. When he reached the lace of my thong, he traced the edge like he had my bra. He could not see the flood he was causing between my legs.My breath was getting faster and a little ragged as he laid his full palm on my stomach and slid it up to capture my breast. He teased my nipple and then went to the other one. The texture of the dark blue lace enhanced the sensation. I reached for him but he held my hand over my head and leaned down to kiss the swell of my breast.He ran his tongue across the lace and flicked my nipple. My breath caught and he laughed softly. “Do you want me, Cheonsa?” his husky voice made me want him even more.“Yes, please…” my voice cracked as he took my nipple and sucked it through the lace. My back arched and I pressed against his mouth. He released my arm so he could unfasten my bra. He caressed my breasts then took one in his mouth and held the other with his hand. I tangled my fingers in his black hair and he moaned.“Slow down, baby. Let’s not rush tonight. Let’s just love,” he kissed me and turned me onto my stomach. He pulled my bra the rest of the way off and then massaged my back. His hands were magical. I had never been so relaxed and so turned on at the same time. He caressed my ass, squeezing and lifting. “Your ass is magnificent,” he smacked it lightly, eliciting a gasp and jolt from me. He laughed softly and did it again. I didn’t startle that time. Instead I lifted myself slightly off the bed towards him.He took hold of the sides of my thong and pulled it down slowly. He hissed when he saw how soaked it was. “For me? Oh baby, yes…” he repositioned himself inside my legs and pushed them apart. He rubbed his thumbs along the crease where my ass meets my thighs and then reached around to lift me off the bed. He pulled me all the way up so we were both on our knees, my back against his chest. I pushed back against him and could feel that he still had on his underwear. I reached back to try and pull them off, but he caught my hand and stopped me.“Not yet… just be patient, Cheonsa,” he was driving me insane. I wanted him so badly. I had never felt such an intense feeling of need before.“I want you, MinMin. Please make love to me,” my voice was barely above a whisper.“Soon, my love, just feel.” He put his hands on my stomach and then moved them up and down my body as he kissed my neck. He came so close to my core, but did not touch. He just teased. I could not stop myself from moving my hips against him. He groaned, “you are not making this easy.”“Good,” I said. “I need you inside me. I don’t think I can wait any longer.” There was desperation in my voice. He turned my head and kissed me. I felt him moving behind me and then he came back. I felt his hot cock against my thigh and smiled to myself. I had won.He slid his hand down my body to the mound between my legs and then his fingers found the wetness awaiting him. He hissed again and slipped a finger inside. My hips involuntarily began to move. His finger was slippery and hot when he pulled it out and brushed it against my clit. I cried out as my body responded. The room was spinning and he held me as I climaxed against his hand.He pushed my body forward so that my hands were on the bed and I was on all fours. “Cheonsa, you make me crazy,” he said as he rubbed the tip of his rock hard cock against my lips. He slid in slowly and we both cried out. I pushed against him and he began to move in and out, slowly. “I love watching your pussy eat my cock. You are so wet.”“That is all for you, MinMin. Just for you,” my words caught as he increased his speed. He held my hips and began to thrust. I was at his mercy. I couldn’t do anything except feel the pleasure. “Ahhhhh yes!” My voice quivered as I exploded again. My body shuddered and I felt him holding on to my hips tightly as he called my name and pulsed inside me.We collapsed on the bed and the sound of our heavy breathing echoed across the room. He pulled me against his chest and stroked my hair. Neither of us said a word. I felt a closeness to him that I hadn’t ever felt before. A feeling like I wanted to run away and leave everything to chance. That feeling scared me. I rationalized it away as just the high from the amazing sex and it faded, but there was still something nagging at me. I pushed that away too to deal with later. We soon fell asleep and sometime during the night we awoke and made love again.When we awoke the next morning, he was practically wrapped around me. I couldn’t move, but I really didn’t want to. I snuggled in even closer and he mumbled something I couldn’t make out and wrapped himself tighter around me.I must have dozed back off because the sun position had changed a lot from where it was earlier when I woke up. I opened my eyes to see him propped on his elbow, looking at me. His expression was sweet and his hair was sticking out all over the place. He still looked handsome. I smiled as I stretched my arms over my head.“Good morning, Cheonsa,” he said in his raspy just-woke-up voice.“Good morning, MinMin. Did you sleep well?” I asked as he reached over and stroked my cheek.“Better than I have in months.” I could feel him growing hard against my leg and I shifted slightly to feel it more. He pinched the top of the sheet covering me and pulled it down slowly. “How are you feeling this morning?” Just feeling his eyes on me stirred things up. I felt my nipples harden as they were exposed.“Content. And maybe a little horny,” I giggled.“I think I have just the thing for that,” he laughed softly and kissed me. And he was right, he did have just the thing I needed. A while later we got up and he made coffee while I went to shower. I lathered up my hair and rinsed, then put my conditioner on to let it sit and moisturize my crazy curls. I clipped it up out of the water spray and began lathering up the shower pouf. I was fully covered in foamy lather when I heard him exclaim, “what is that smell? Hannah, what is that?” He opened the shower door enough to poke his head in and had a disgusted look on his face.“It is my favorite shower gel, cucumber mint. Why?”“I hate both of those things. Now my bathroom smells like them.” I thought he was about to gag and I started laughing. “How do you always smell so good when this is on you?”“This is what I always use. You’ve had your mouth in places this has touched,” I held the bottle up and shook it for emphasis. He made the gesture of trying to get a bad taste out of his mouth.“Please, use this or something else when you are here.” He handed me a white musk scented one.“For you? Sure, I will do that. Care to join me?” I blew him a kiss.“Well I was planning to, but I have to get away from that smell,” I laughed even harder because he was being so dramatic about the situation. I rinsed out the shower pouf and poured the white musk on it. I made a show of washing with the new scent.“Well fine. Suit yourself.” He grinned and stayed there looking at me. I lingered on certain areas I thought he would find interesting. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in? You should probably inspect to make sure I got all the other stuff washed off.” I crooked my finger and pulled toward me, as if I had caught him and was pulling him in.He opened the door the rest of the way and stepped in. He was already naked. He turned me around and scrubbed my back, then with his hands made sure the rest of me was clean… and free of the offending scent. His hands explored every inch of my body, and by the time he was done, I was ready to explode.He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pinned me to the shower wall, using his hand to cushion me. He used the other hand to position himself so that I could slide down into his cock. He used the wall to brace and thrust into me, nice and hard. It didn’t take long for us to climax together. I lowered my legs and they were shaky. He kept me upright with his body and then made sure to wash us off again.“Let’s do something today,” I said out of the blue as we were drying off. “Something not in the bed.” I added when he pointed at the bedroom and grinned.“What did you have in mind?”“Well, I need to check out the venue for the wedding reception I am doing next weekend. I thought maybe you could come with me and we could just… be together.” I shocked myself with those words. I hadn’t really thought about it. I just wanted to spend time with him and it seemed like a good idea at the time.“I don’t have any other plans until later, so that sounds nice.” Plans? Later? With who? My mind started going off in left field and I had to mentally slap myself. First, we were not dating and had no commitments to each other. Second, he didn’t say it was plans with a person.“I have to be home by 6. I’d like it if you’d come for dinner too, if your plans allow.” I forced a smile and wondered why I was feeling this way. I looked away quickly and busied myself with getting my clothes out of the bag.“Those are the plans I was referring to. Dinner with your family. Green looks good on you, by the way,” he smiled at me and I felt foolish. I had gotten jealous and he knew it. I felt foolish for making assumptions, and foolish for being jealous. I had no claim, no reason to be jealous. My smile grew and I kissed him. “Then maybe we can go get the rest of your things. I was hoping you would stay with me this week.” He looked deep into my eyes as he cupped my cheek with his massive palm. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to throw caution to the wind, but fear gripped me suddenly. He must have seen it in my face because he smiled and said, “it’s OK if you want to stay at Changkyun’s. I know I sprung that on you.”“I… um, I want to… but I…” I stammered, feeling like a fool.“Hannah, it is OK. Let’s just see how each day plays out. No pressure. I only want you to stay if you really want to.” I nodded and just stood there staring at him. In that moment I wanted to let go. I wanted to let the world go by and not care. I wanted to hand him the keys. The control freak in me would not have any part of that though and put the brakes on.“OK, let’s do that. I mean, it was the plan, and he will be disappointed if I don’t spend time with him.” I was just trying to end the awkwardness that I had caused.“Sure, that is understandable.” A shadow passed over his face, but then he smiled. “Let’s go get something to eat then go check out this place.” He kissed my forehead and turned to get dressed.I stood there staring at his bare back for what felt like 5 minutes. I was feeling things I didn’t understand. Thinking things I had never thought before about a man. I was confused and a little out of control. That scared me. I needed control of my emotions. He turned back to look at me and winked. I snapped back to the moment and put on my panties. They were the new teal lace ones.Minhyuk admired them and gave me that sideways smile with his tongue at the corner of his mouth. I turned so he could see the back. He hissed through his teeth. I turned back around and very slowly put on the matching bra, adjusting my breasts after I got it fastened.“How is it? Do they look OK?” I teased.“Oh yes, they most definitely do.” He closed the space between us and kissed the swell of each one then kissed my lips. “Now get dressed if you want to leave this house at all today.” He smacked my ass and I squealed. He laughed. I debated on whether I really needed to go anywhere or not.Changkyun had chosen a purple and blue floral sundress and sandals as my outfit for the day. I fastened the snaps up the front and then pulled my hair into a messy bun. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. He looked at me in the mirror and looked at me.“What is it?” I asked.“Nothing. I just like looking at you.” I smiled and laughed softly.“Right back atcha.” I finished pinning my hair and held his arms. I leaned my head over and rested it on his. “How are you so handsome?”“You will need to ask my parents that question. Eomma would like you.”“Even though I am not Korean?”“She just wants me to be happy. And I am.” He was making my heart flutter. He kissed my neck and smiled at me. “I feel good when I am with you. I feel good when I think about you.” He turned me in his arms, “I like you, Hannah Song. I care about you and I would like the chance to get to know you better.”I was sure I looked like a deer in headlights at that moment. I wasn’t expecting his “confession” and it shook me. I was speechless again. That is not a condition that usually affects me… unless it involves him. This man affected me more than I wanted to admit.He stroked my cheek and said softly, “don’t panic, Cheonsa. I don’t want to scare you. I won’t push you into anything. I just don’t want you to run away. Promise me.”“Promise you what?” my voice was barely above a whisper.“Promise you won’t run away.”No no no!! My brain screamed. Run! But my feet stayed planted. “I… promise.” The words were out before I even realized it. I summoned up every bit of courage I had and tilted my face up with a smile. “I like you too... very much.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
His smile could have lit a dark room. He kissed me… softly, tenderly. The kiss was full of emotion and I melted into it. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. He was still smiling when he stepped back. And I was still reeling.What were you thinking, Hannah? I asked myself. You know you like him. You know it. Stop denying it. I argued with myself in my head until the phone rang. It was Changkyun calling Minhyuk. I could only hear Minhyuk’s side of the conversation.“We’ll be there by 6… No, she is staying with you tonight. You don’t need to bring anything… OK, see you soon.” I was puzzled by his assumption that I was staying with Kyun. “I just knocked you for a loop. You need some time,” he winked at me. I nodded.The drive to the venue took about a half hour. He talked most of the way, which was good because I was having a hard time processing things. Normally they do group tours, but I had an appointment since we already had a booking there. We had been corresponding via email, phone, and video for the past few weeks so I was happy to finally be there in person.My clients had chosen this venue because of the gardens and the castle. It was an absolutely stunning property and perfect to fulfill her fairytale vision. I had done an event there a few years ago, but I wasn’t very familiar with their grounds. At the time I had imagined how it would be to get married here. The main building was a home built in 1904 after the owners were inspired by castles they had seen on a trip to Europe.The gardens covered acres of the estate and were going to provide the perfect setting for her fairytale wedding. The ceremony would be outdoors so the flowers and cherry blossoms would be in bloom. Hopefully. The cherry blossoms were not always on schedule with the festivals meant to celebrate them.The reception would be held indoors. After our tour of the garden area where the ceremony would take place, we went inside. This is where my magic would really be put to use. Yes, I had plans for outside, but in here… well, this would be transformed into a princess’s dream.I had already worked out the plans with the manager, but I wanted to make sure my ideas were going to work and that we were on the same page. We were. She had ordered the flowers, which would be hanging from the ceiling similar to a Seventeen MV I had seen, and fairy lights would be placed throughout them.Sheer fabric would be draped from different points along the way, in the flowers and around the room. The tables would have bouquets of matching flowers and the sheer fabric would be draped around them. The family had not spared any expense for their only daughter. This was her dream wedding and they wanted her to get exactly what she wanted. I was making sure of it. I was getting excited because I knew how magnificent it was going to look.I called Martha and let her know things were going as planned. She was excited and nervous. I told her I would be there on Friday afternoon to oversee the decorating. This was going to take much longer than the usual 2-3 hours.Now that the business was handled, we decided to walk around the gardens. It was a beautiful afternoon, warm and sunny. I hoped for weather like this on Valerie’s wedding day. As we strolled across a bridge, Minhyuk took my hand. It felt natural. Comfortable. We shared a smile and walked over the bubbling stream below us. I caught him taking my picture as I stopped to look at some flowers, so I struck a pose for him and we played model and photographer for a moment. I started laughing and he kept shooting. He told me those would all be in his private collection. I grabbed some of him too and then we took a few together.He pulled me under an ivy covered trellis and kissed me. I felt the earth move under my feet. When he pulled back I could only look into his eyes. I was lost there. And I didn’t want to be found. I began to question my decision to try to keep him at arm’s length.My phone dinged and brought me back to the moment. It was Kyun telling me that he was on his way to Mom’s, but he might be a few minutes late. He had gotten tied up talking to someone.We had just enough time to get there, but we had to leave right then. I took his hand and we walked quickly, giggling the whole way. I paused long enough to thank the manager and let her know I would check in with her in a couple of days. Then we almost ran to the car. We talked the whole way back. The awkwardness I had felt earlier had passed. It was easy being with him. His sense of humor was just my style and he made me laugh all the time. He could be silly one second, then dead sexy the next. The duality was strong with this one.Dinner was loud and chaotic, just the way Mom liked it. All the guys were there and Connor wanted to act out some scenes from his favorite books for them to guess which one. They kept up really well, guessing most of them. The books he chose had been made into movies. I wasn’t so good at it. I didn’t watch much TV or go to movies often.He had become quite the little attention hound since his acting debut. Clara told me his favorite thing to do now was learn scenes and rehearse them. He had started watching a little more TV just so he could have a visual element to work with. This was a big change from before, when all he wanted to do was read. She said he still did a fair amount of that too, but he had started coming out of his shell.He had asked to join the theater group at school. They met a couple of times a week and had a production set for the end of the school year. Connor couldn’t stop talking about it… when he wasn’t acting out scenes.Watching Minhyuk with him was messing with me. I kept having flashes of what it would have been like if I had been pregnant a few weeks back. I felt a sudden longing for a family. Minhyuk looked up at me with the most beautiful smile on his face and tilted his head to the side sweetly then went back to playing with Connor.Clara stood in front of the fireplace and called for everyone’s attention. When we had all focused on her, she said she had an announcement.“Everyone, I think it is time to tell you all that Hyungwon and I are dating. We have been for a while now, but we decided now is time to make it public.” Hyungwon had come to stand beside her. They were smiling and obviously both comfortable with the announcement.Mom clapped her hands together loudly and stood, shouting, “finally!”“Sorry I took so long to meet someone,” Clara said sarcastically.“No, finally you tell me!” Mom said as she walked to hug Hyungwon and officially welcome him to the family. Everyone laughed when Clara looked shocked, but no one else did. “I’ve known since the beginning.”“We all have,” Dad added. “Welcome, son.” Clara was blushing, but Wonnie just looked proud. He pulled her closer to his side and wrapped his arm around her.“Now if the other one would wise up…” Mom added just barely loud enough that I could hear it. I shot her a look and she winked at me.Kyun and Minhyuk had to work the next day, so we said our goodbyes and walked to the cars. Minhyuk hugged me and gave me a kiss that made me tingle. He said he would be thinking about me and hoped to see me very soon. He waved out the window as he drove away. I just stood there and watched until he was well out of sight. Kyun put his arm around me and said, “let’s go home.” I just nodded and climbed into the car.Later that night after we were washed up and in our comfy clothes, Kyun handed me a whiskey sour. He knew it was my preferred whiskey drink. He toasted to Clara and Hyungwon and we drank. He put on a movie, but I wasn’t able to concentrate.After my second drink, I was feeling very relaxed. My back was against him and my feet were on the couch with my knees at my chest. His arm was around my shoulders. I leaned my head back against his shoulder and sighed.“Why?” he said simply.“Why what?”“Why don’t you want to try with him?”“Because…”“Don’t say it is the distance. That is bullshit.” He was right. It was a factor, but not the real reason.“I don’t know how to share my life, Kyunnie. I don’t want to give up my freedom to have to answer to someone else. I like things the way they are.”“Also bullshit. I know you want it all. You want the career, the family, the SUV, and the white picket fence. I know this, because you told me. Remember?”I turned around so I could look at him. I blinked several times as my brain rummaged through memories of conversations with him. I did remember, and it hadn’t been that long ago. “But…”“No but. What is it, Hannah? Why are you so afraid to let him in?” He held my hand in his and I just stared at our fingers intertwined.“This.”“What do you mean, ‘this’?”I looked up and took a deep breath. “I know I will never have this kind of relationship with another man. I want all that and this.” I felt tears welling up and fought them back. “You have ruined me for other men, Im Changkyun.” I laughed to lighten the mood. He pulled me to his chest and stroked my back.“Well, when you’ve had the best…” he laughed. “I am not going anywhere. You will always have me. We will always have this. We do have a very unique and special relationship, but there is something more. That is the thing you are looking for deep down. I can see it.”“OK emo boy, tell me what I need.”“Intimacy, and not just the sexual kind. I know you need that closeness with someone. You need to feel safe, in control of yourself, and loved… no, cherished. You need to feel cherished.” He put his finger under my chin to raise my face, “that is how I have spoiled you. I would apologize, but I am not sorry for setting your standards that high. You deserve to be cherished, and I will kill any man who makes you feel anything less.”The tears finally won and fell down my cheeks. He pulled me back to his chest and let me cry. We talked for a long time after. I told him how my emotions had been all over the place with Minhyuk and how I felt confused and content at the same time. He just smiled like the cat who ate the bird. He obviously knew something, but it was useless to try and get it out of him.Finally around 2AM, he said he needed to get to bed. It was a teacher service day and he had to go in. But at least he didn’t have to deal with students while he was sleepy and hung over. He also told me something I wasn’t expecting.“Remember that Australian girl I was seeing a few months ago?”“The on-again, off-again girl?”“Yes, her. Anna. She is coming back to town for a few days and will be staying here. So, you can stay, but it might be awkward for you. We’ll be fine, but you might find it… noisy.” He winked.“Fine, when is she getting here?” I sighed.“Tuesday afternoon.”“Tomor… today is Monday, so I will make sure to be gone by then.”We went to sleep in his bed with him spooning me. I needed the contact. Clara came to get me the next morning on her way to work and then let me use her car. I had wedding errands. I needed to visit the florist, the photographer, and then talk to the caterer… my dad.I was exhausted by the time I picked her up and we got to our parents’ house. Connor came running to greet us. After dinner, Clara and I went for a walk and I talked to her about Minhyuk and my confused feelings.“Just go for it, Hannah. What if he is the one? You will never know unless you give him a shot. And if he isn’t… well at least you had fun.” She giggled.“That is true. I do enjoy spending time with him. In and out of bed.”“That says a lot. I remember guys you have dated where it was either or. He is a really good guy, Hannah. Connor adores him, and I trust his judgment.” She smiled and put her hand on my shoulder. Kyun pulled up beside us and pretended to flirt and “pick us up”. We wanted to finish our walk, so we sent him on to the house.Just as we got back to the house, my phone dinged and it was Minhyuk. He sent a selca of him on the couch with his arm around an imaginary person and a pouty expression on his face. I laughed and told Clara I would be in shortly. She smiled and went inside. I didn’t respond to his text. I called him instead. He answered before the first ring finished.“Yeoboseyo,” he answered.“Hi, MinMin.”“Hi, Cheonsa.”“You look lonely.”“I miss you.”“I miss you too.”“Wanna come over tonight?”“Maybe.”“Stay with me until you leave to go back.”“Maybe.” I was playing coy, and if anyone could see me I am sure I looked like a teenager talking to her crush. Minhyuk laughed.“You are teasing me, aren’t you?”“Yeah. Do you like it?”“Maybe.” He turned the tables on me and I laughed.“Meet me at Kyun’s in 30 minutes?”“I’m on my way.”I took a deep breath after I hung up. Was I ready? Probably not, but is anyone ever ready? I went inside and said goodbye to everyone and then we headed back to Kyun’s house. Min was there waiting when we pulled in and my stomach did a back flip. Kyun laughed and asked if I was OK. I smiled and nodded.When we were inside, Minhyuk hugged me and then spun me around. He was smiling and didn’t let me go when he put me back down. I reminded him that I needed to pack up my stuff and he let me go.I hadn’t spread out too much, so it didn’t take long to gather it all together. I picked up the cucumber mint shower gel and gave it a long sniff and then set it back in the shower. Kyun could use it. It was just a travel bottle anyway.I came out and Minhyuk took my bags and went to the car with a smile. I turned to Kyun with my hands in my jeans pockets and shoulders shrugged. He reached out to me and pulled me for a hug.“You’ve got this. Give hyung a chance.” He kissed the top of my head and then held me at arm’s length, “you know I’ll be there in a heartbeat if you need me.” I nodded my response and smiled bravely. He walked me to the door and gently pushed me forward, like a mother bird pushing her baby out of the nest for its first flight. I waved to him from the car as we drove off, my stomach full of butterflies. I was both excited and scared. This was a new territory for me and I wasn’t sure what to do next.I turned to look at Minhyuk and the butterflies settled down to a calmer level. Just looking at him made me smile. He talked most of the way to his house, which was good because I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to ask his intentions, where we stood, and more, but I held my tongue. There was a time and place for that later.He helped me bring my things inside and stood in the middle of the room with his arms out saying, “welcome home, Hannah. At least temporarily anyway.” He closed his arms around me and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him and tilted my head back, resting my chin on his chest. “This feels good. I love having you here,” he said. Before I could respond, he went on, “I know you have things you need to do while I am at work this week, so you can use my car. You can drop me at the school in the morning. I get out around 4, so just be back by then.”“You don’t have to do that. Clara said I can use hers.”“It is no bother. You are staying here, so you might as well use it.”“OK, if you are sure.” He nodded.“Now let’s get you settled in.” He took my suitcase and carry-on to the bedroom and laid them on the bed. He opened a drawer and gestured, “I cleared this out for you and you can hang stuff in here too.” He opened the closet door and there was an open area for my clothes. “You can leave some things here for when you come back… if you want.”I smiled because I knew that “having a drawer” at someone’s house was a big step in a relationship. Is that what this was? A relationship? That was the question I needed to get answered. I knew this conversation had to happen, but I felt calm and in control suddenly.“Hey, no pressure. It was just an idea,” he said softly as he closed the space between us and cupped my face in his hands.I looked up at him and smiled. I asked, “which things should I keep here?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The next night, I decided it was time to have the conversation I had been both dreading and looking forward to. I had finally come to the realization that I wanted this, and I needed to know if this was what he wanted too. I needed a little something to take the edge off my nerves and help me overcome the fear I had been holding on to.I opened a bottle of wine I had grabbed from Mom’s. He didn’t have wine glasses, so I poured it into two water glasses. I sat on the couch and handed him one. I toasted to “new beginnings” and he raised an eyebrow and smiled. We snuggled on the couch and watched a show. I was facing him with my legs across his and my head on his shoulder. His arm was around me and he had his cheek resting on my head.“MinMin?” I summoned my courage.“Yes, Cheonsa?” he kissed the top of my head.“I think I am ready.”“Ready? For what?”“You. I am ready for you. I’ve been holding you at arms length for long enough.” I tilted my head back so that I could see his face. “If you want me, I am yours.”His expression grew intense and his eyes pulled me in. “Yes, Hannah. I do want you. I have wanted you since the first time I saw you in my door. I want you in every way possible. I want you to be mine.” He stroked my cheek and we gazed deep into each other’s souls. I felt connected to him in a way that I hadn’t before that moment.His kiss was tender as his lips covered mine. I was suddenly overcome with a rush of emotion and felt a tear fall to my cheek and run down to my lips. I could taste the saltiness and he pulled back to look at me.“Are you OK?” he asked softly. I nodded as the tears broke free.“I don’t know why I am crying. I am happy,” I said as I wiped my face with my hands. I smiled at him, but they kept coming. I felt relief. It was as if a dam had broken. He reached over and got a tissue from the box on the end table and handed it to me. I laughed awkwardly. “I guess this wasn’t the response you were expecting.”“No, but I think I understand.”“Good, because I don’t know if I do.”“You said you’ve been holding back. Now you aren’t. Simple.” He smiled at his deduction of the situation. It made complete sense. I turned and blew my nose lightly and asked for another tissue. He handed it to me over my shoulder. I wiped my face and turned back to him.“I know I look like a hot mess right now.” I dabbed my eyes again.“Hannah, you look beautiful. You always look beautiful. First thing in the morning, sweaty after a work out, flushed after making love… especially then,” he winked. “When you cry, when you smile, when you pout, when you are angry… always. I love all your faces and all your moods.”“Now I know you are full of shit,” I laughed.“Full of something, yes. But not that.” He didn’t laugh with me. “I am serious. I want to get to know the other parts that I haven’t seen yet.”“I’d like that very much. And I want to get to know yours,” I paused and played with his shirt collar. “So… does this mean we are boyfriend and girlfriend now?” I bit my lip and looked up at him. He smiled.“I guess it does… my girlfriend. I like that.”“Me too, boyfriend.” I giggled.“Now shall we make it official?” he kissed me again. He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. He laid me gently on the bed and then settled in beside me. He didn’t make any moves. He just pulled me close and held me. He stroked my hair and then held my head against his chest.“I just want to hold you. Now that you are mine, I may never let you go.” He said into my hair. I felt safe, warm, and cherished. Changkyun’s words came back to me and I smiled and hugged him tighter.We fell asleep that way. We awoke sometime during the night and made love. It was different, deeper somehow. That connection I had felt earlier was stronger when the passions were higher. I didn’t understand it, but I let it consume me. I had never felt so free. It didn’t take long to fall into a rhythm. We woke up together, we ate together, we slept together, we made love, we watched TV, we talked. I even made dinner one night. And by “made dinner”, I mean I opened the take out containers and plated the food. I made it look really pretty. I got a taste for what it would be like to live with him and I liked it. But I didn’t want to admit it… not just yet.I had gone by the venue the day before and again on the morning of the wedding just to make sure nothing had gone awry… and to satisfy the control freak side of me. It was coming together just like I had envisioned. This was my favorite part of being an event planner. It made all the headaches worthwhile. Seeing the almost finished scene made me long for my own day like this. Out of nowhere came a vision of me and Minhyuk dancing under the falling flowers in a dimly lit hall. I shook my head and snapped myself back. Too soon, Hannah. Way too soon.I got back to Min’s and was taking off my shoes when he came out of his studio. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. He grinned and took my hand, leading me inside.“I want to show you something,” he said as he reached for his sketchbook. He handed it to me and I gasped when I saw the pages. He had been sketching me. My many moods and faces, as he had said, were captured in exquisite detail. There was one of me in a doorway with wings behind me, seemingly from our first meeting. There was one smiling, one with my head back and my hand on my neck, and one of me looking back over my shoulder, among others.“MinMin, these are amazing!” I exclaimed in awe as I brushed my fingertips over the paper.“I was inspired. You are my muse, Hannah.” I flipped to the last one and it was us in an embrace. My hair was long and wrapped around our naked bodies as we floated up from an opened rose bloom. It was beautiful and it spoke to me. I hugged the notebook to my chest and hugged it. This is how he sees me. I closed my eyes and fought back tears… again.He pulled me into his arms and said, “I take it you like that one?”I couldn’t speak from the emotion that had taken over my throat, so I simply nodded.“Good. I am glad. It is very special to me,” he pulled back so he could see my face. He had told me how the rose on his back symbolized loving yourself. We were together in the rose. Did he mean we should love each other as well? I was scared to ask.“I love it. It is beautiful and… stirring,” I had to search for the word.“Just like you,” he gave me a peck on the lips and smiled in that disarmingly sweet way that I had come to know… and love? That thought quickly got banished to the nether regions of my mind. “Come on, let’s get some lunch. I have to get over there to help set up our stage for tonight. We can go together since you are going early too.”We tried to stay on track with getting ready, but it was just too much and we ended up on the bathroom counter… again. It was a quickie, but did the trick. He took his outfit for later so that he didn’t get dirty, but I wore my dress. It was a pale blue beaded knee length sheath dress with criss-crossed beaded ribbons and appliqués running across the neckline. The back matched the front of the dress. It had a silky jacket that fell to the same length to tame it down a bit. I was there in official capacity, not as a wedding guest.I wore lower heels than I would if I had been “going out”, but they still fit the style of the dress and allowed me to blend in. I did the model walk for Min after I got dressed, throwing the jacket over my shoulder and exaggerating my hip swing as I walked away. I turned back and he was watching with that deadly half smirky smile and we almost didn’t leave. Somehow, we were able to get in the car on time.At the venue, we split off to go to our separate areas. They got the stage ready while I did a last minute check of every single thing in the room and outside. I found a couple of things that needed adjustment, but overall they had done a fabulous job with my vision. It looked like a fairytale and a dream.Martha called me to make sure I was onsite and had checked everything. I assured her it was perfect. The food was all that was left and it was on its way. She was with the bride and they were on their way to get her ready. She said she would come to see when they arrived.I was ready and went to see how the dance floor and stage were coming along. I stepped into a flurry of activity and 7 gorgeous Korean men moving equipment and tuning instruments. Minhyuk was reaching up over his head to adjust something and his t-shirt had pulled up exposing his stomach. I was enjoying the view when Kyun spotted me and called me over. Min smiled when he saw me.I got hugs from everyone and a kiss from Minhyuk. He whispered in my ear, asking if he could tell them we were officially a couple. I said yes. Changkyun knew, but the others didn’t yet. He pulled me up onto the stage riser and got their attention.“Guys, I am very proud to say that Hannah is officially my girlfriend. We are a couple now.” They cheered and gave us more hugs.“It’s about time,” Kihyun said with a huge smile. “We were beginning to think we might have to intervene for you two.” Laughter followed.“He’s not lying,” Wonho backed him up. “I’ve never seen chemistry like you guys have, and you were about to waste it.”Minhyuk and I exchanged a quick and shy look. I heard my name from the other side of the room. It was Martha. I excused myself and went to talk to her. They resumed their set up.I gave her the full tour. “Hannah, this is incredible! You knocked it out if the park this time. This is beyond perfect!”“Thank you, Martha. It is exactly how I envisioned it. I am glad they were able to make it happen.”“I am glad you were able to make it happen. Valerie is going to be blown away!”Dad and his crew arrived and set up the food quickly and beautifully. He gave me a hug after they finished. He made sure I would be at dinner the next night and I promised I would. I figured we might as well tell them too, so I told him I had some news to share. He grinned. Mom had probably already figured it out and told him.Martha had gone to help her daughter finish getting ready and take some photos. Dad and his crew had left, the venue had it’s own servers. The guys were changing. I was by myself except for the event staff and a few early guests who were milling about.I wandered outside to the area we had set up for the ceremony. I was looking at the flowers and the beautiful setting. I let my mind wander and it landed on us standing there in front of the trellis, face to face, hand in hand.I felt a hand on my back and turned to find him standing there. He was beautiful. His black hair was shining in the golden light of the sunset, almost as brightly as his smile. He was wearing a tuxedo and those glasses. We started swaying to the faint music from inside. He held my gaze and I couldn’t look away.What was this hold he had on me? How had he managed to get in there? At that moment, I did not care. Voices and clattering caught our attention and we headed back to the reception hall. We had quite a while to go before the reception, so the eight of us found a quite corner and hung out.Finally the wedding was finished and the guests were about to head our way. The guys took to the stage and I faded to the background to make sure everything went OK. The servers were busy tending to the tables, making sure no glass was empty. Martha and Valerie came and hugged me and thanked me again. Valerie had stars in her eyes and I knew I had succeeded.The guests ate and then it was time for the speeches. The bar had been open the whole time and it had been busy. People were beginning to feel lose and relaxed. It was time to start the music. The guys took to the stage and I suddenly had tunnel vision. All I could see was one man on the stage.Shownu greeted the guests and then Honey stepped in and got them loosened up. They started off playing some upbeat love songs to get the guests on their feet. I had to step away to tend to an issue with one of the decorations, but I was back in about 2 songs. I got back just as Changkyun announced they were going to perform an original song, written by Minhyuk.I took a seat off to the side to watch as he took to the mic. He found me and smiled as he began to sing. Kyun and the others harmonized with him. The lyrics were sexy, so I would have assumed it was one of Kyun’s songs if I hadn’t known. I was really getting into it and then came the chorus. He sang it looking directly at me. Can you blame me?For thinking 'bout, thinking 'bout, thinking 'boutThinking 'bout you nakedLook at you, look at you, look at youLooking like a daydreamOn my mind, on my mind, on my mind, on my mindMonthly, weekly, nightly and dailyIf I'm falling, baby, don't blame me(Can you blame, can you blame me? Oh, oh, oh)If I'm falling, baby, don't blame me My instinct was to run, but the intensity of his gaze held me captive. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t look away. His voice was breathy and a little raspy and felt like warm honey flowing over me. By the end of the song I was putty. I would have done anything he asked. Anything.The crowd loved it. I was unable to move. One of them announced they would be back in 10 minutes, but I could not tell you which one spoke the words. As Minhyuk walked toward me I realized I was holding my breath. I let it out as he reached out his hand and I took it. He pulled me up from the chair and held me against his body.“I am falling,” he whispered as he brushed his fingertips along my jaw. His lips covered mine and teased softly. I was glad he was holding me so tightly because my knees would not have held me up. “I’ve been falling for a long time.”“Min… I…” I gave up on words and just kissed him. Wedding guests nearby cheered us on. I barely noticed them. He held me at the waist and leaned me backwards. My arms were around his neck. If I had been thinking at all, I would have realized we looked like a scene from one of my movies. He took my hand and waved to the guests as he led me outside to the garden.Cheonsa, I have been wanting to tell you this for so long, but the time never felt quite right. Until now. It feels right now.”“What is it, Min?” I asked.“Hannah Song… I am in love with you.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I opened my mouth and nothing came out. What was I supposed to say anyway? I love you too? Well, slow down, mister. This train is going off the rail. Finally I said, “Min, this is too fast. I can’t catch my breath.”"I didn’t mean to scare you, Cheonsa. I couldn’t hold back anymore. I took the chance and put it out there. I actually don’t want you to respond. Not yet. I want you to think about me, about us, about the possibilities. Then when you are ready...” he left it hanging. I knew what he meant, so he didn’t need to say it. He was trying to take the pressure off of me, but instead it added it. Now I had to come to terms with all the feelings that had been swimming around in my head. I had to figure out how I felt about him. As my mind was spinning, he whirled me around and we started dancing. He acted like nothing had just happened, like he hadn’t just knocked me for a loop. Kyun appeared and told him the break was over. Min winked at me, gave me a peck on the lips, and went back with Kyunnie.I stood there in a garden of beautiful flowers, oblivious to the scents and sights around me. All I could see was that man disappearing through the doorway. I put my hands to my face and turned around. I wandered down the walkway and his words just kept echoing in my head. I felt like I was floating down the path. Love? He loved me? Is that what this is? Love? My head was spinning. I heard the music start back up and instinctively headed back towards it, still in a daze.I tried sitting and watching them perform, but every time he looked at me I felt antsy so I got up and went to check up on things. I stopped by the open bar and got a glass of wine. I never drink when I am working, but tonight was special circumstances and my part was basically finished anyway, so I broke my own rule.Martha found me and gave me a huge hug. She told me how perfect the evening was and how she hoped we could work together again soon. I told her to call me with plenty of notice and I would see what I could do. She added that I would be the first one she would call, if I ever moved back home.When the band was finished and the last of the guests were leaving, I went back to the stage. Min had taken off his jacket and tie and was rolling up his sleeves. He looked so hot with his black hair falling over his face and his forearms exposed. How can something so simple be so sexy? I watched as they packed up their equipment and moved everything to load into the cars. He saw me watching and winked like he knew exactly what I was thinking.They had to stop off at the school to drop the equipment. On the drive there, he didn’t mention what had happened earlier and neither did I. When we got back to his house, We changed clothes and went to wash up. After our faces were clean, he took me in his arms and said, “remember your promise.”“My promise?”“You promised you wouldn’t run away,” he smiled sweetly and cocked his head to the side. I couldn’t help but laugh.“I am not running away, I just to get my bearings and sort through all this...” I moved my hands around my head. “I can tell you that I am crazy about you. I know that for sure.” I gave him a quick peck and patted his cheek.“That gives me hope.” He kissed me on the forehead and led me to the bed. We made love and then snuggled, watching TV in bed for a while until we fell asleep. The first thing I saw when I woke up was his face. He was propped on his elbow, just looking at me. The sunlight played on his black hair and shoulder, making him glow. He looked like a beautiful otherworldly being. My first thought wasn’t really a thought, more of a feeling. Happiness. I felt happiness. I stretched and then rolled over to face him. With a smile, I said, “I could get used to this. Being with you makes me happy.”His smile grew and he leaned in to kiss me. “Let’s spend the day right here. We’ll order food and they can deliver it to the bed for us. We won’t have to get dressed or anything.” He grinned and I seriously considered his suggestion.“That would be lovely, except I have to be home by 6 today. Will you come with me? Dad is cooking out tonight and I would love to take my boyfriend.”“You are ready to tell them?”“Yes, I am. Mom and Clara will figure it out anyway.” He stroked my cheek and I could see his eyes fill with emotion. That made me feel warm inside. “I will be proud to tell them. I know they will be happy about it. Even Dad. He likes you.”“That is a comfort. Hopefully you can meet my family sometime soon. I don’t really know how to make that happen, but I hope.”“I would like that very much.” I meant that, but it also got my butterflies in an uproar. Meeting the parents is a big deal, especially in Korea. It usually happens right before the wedding. I wasn’t sure if he said it because he had met my family already, or if that is where his head was. I was scared to ask.We did spend the day at his house. Some of it in bed, some out. We ordered lunch in, and then went for a walk around his neighborhood. All the doggies we passed came to say hello to him and he petted and talked to them, calling each one by name. We ran into a couple of his students and their families. The kids ran over and hugged him. He introduced me as his girlfriend to all of them. One of the kids recognized me as Connor’s aunt and asked where he was. He wanted to play. I told him I would see if we could set up a play date.I told my family over dinner that Min and I were officially a couple. Mom looked like she was going to cry. She hugged Min so hard I thought he was going to suffocate. My head lined up perfectly with his chest, but hers was closer to his sternum. She still squeezed him tight. He couldn’t stop smiling and patting her back. He looked like he needed a rescue, but there was no escaping that woman’s bear hugs.“My son,” she held his arms as she looked up at him, “you are the first boy my Creena has brought home since Changkyunnie. You should know that.” I think she was already planning a double wedding for me and Clara in her head.“Mom, he is not a boy. Minhyukkie is a most definitely a man.” I said, but she just patted his cheek and smiled from ear to ear.“He’s my son, my boy. He can be your man.” She was still smiling. I just shook my head and sat down. Further reasoning was pointless.Dad had finally given in and hired a contractor to finish the basement/backyard remodel. I left Minhyuk to be doted over by my mother and went outside with Dad. He showed me the plans for the whole area and it was going to be amazing when it got done. They hadn’t started the outside yet, but the inside was almost done.The next day was back to work for Minhyuk, and hanging out with family for me. I dropped him at school and watched him walk in. The kids ran to him like a magnet. He stopped and talked to them and played a little. He had boundless energy that matched theirs. I felt like that was one of the reasons they loved him so much.I ate breakfast with Clara and Mom, then had to run over to Kyun’s house. Clara and I were planning to run some errands and eat lunch later. When I got to his house, I knocked to alert him I was there, but no one came to the door so I let myself in. I announced myself and heard rustling from the other room. The next thing I knew, Kyun was coming out of the bedroom, naked as a jaybird, with an equally naked Anna right behind him. He stopped when he saw me, but didn’t bother to cover himself. He was proud of his body, and with good reason. Anna tucked herself under his arm.“Changkyun, do you mind putting that away?” I turned my head and looked at the wall. I heard Anna giggle. “And aren’t you supposed to be at work?”“Hold on,” he turned and directed Anna back into the bedroom. They came back a moment later, him in shorts and her in his t-shirt. “Better? It is a half day for seniors. I got off early.” He was pleased with his double entendre.“Yes, thank you. I knocked and I announced myself. Did neither of you hear me?”“Well, my ears were covered by her thighs. Anna, did you hear anything?” He played with her blonde locks and teased her neck with his fingers.“Mmm, nope. I was too busy riding his face to care,” her Australian accent made it sound even sexier. She trailed her finger down his chest and he winked at her. “Did you want to give it a try?” She reached out her hand as if to pull me in. “I highly recommend it.”“I’m good. Thanks. I have one of my own, and I am quite satisfied,” I said proudly.“Kyunnie, are you going to introduce us, or is this going to get more awkward?” I asked as I propped my hand on my hip.“Ah that’s right. You haven’t officially met. Hannah, meet Anna. Hmm, that rhymes,” he snickered.“It is nice to finally meet you. He talks about you all the time. I was beginning to get jealous,” Anna said as she hung onto his arm. “And I must say, you are even more beautiful than he described,” she bit her lip and looked me up and down.“It is nice to meet you as well. And you seriously have nothing to be jealous of. I love him, but you can keep the sex part for yourself.” I winked at her and she smiled, seemingly satisfied with my response.“Kyunnie, I seem to have lost my earbuds and I thought they might be under the bed. I spilled my purse in the bedroom when I was packing to go to Min’s.”“Yeah, I think I put them over here,” he reached over to the dresser and retrieved them. “I was going to tell you I found them, but I’ve been a little busy.” He kissed Anna and they stared at each other. I could see his shorts twitching and knew it was time to make my exit.“Thank you very much. I would be lost without them on the plane.” I said goodbye and Kyun tried to hug me, but I held up my hand to keep him at distance. “That’s ok, we can hug later. I can see I am interrupting. I have what I came for and will be on my way now. I’ll see you before I leave, right?”“Of course! We have dinner at Eomma’s Wednesday night. I will be there.”“OK, I am going to let you two get back to that. I’ll see you soon. Anna, I am glad I got to meet you.” I said, leaning in as if I were telling her a secret.“Me too. And the offer still stands…” she winked. I laughed and hurried out as quickly as I could. Kyun had told me Anna was very “open minded,” and now I understood. I, on the other hand, do not like to share. That thought made me think of Minhyuk. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I sighed and headed back home to get Clara.We headed out to do the grocery shopping for Mom and to pick up some things for Connor. We found a nice little cafe for lunch. It had outdoor seating and umbrellas to keep the direct sun off of the diners. We started talking and I asked her how she knew it was for real love with Nathan and with Hyungwon.“Well, you just feel different. You want to be the best version of yourself for him. You want him to have the best of you, and the best of everything. You want him to be a part of everything in your life. You don’t feel complete without him.”“Is that how you feel about Hyungwon?”“Yes, it is. And I am fortunate enough to have felt it twice. I felt it with Nathan and now with Wonnie.” She told me a couple of stories about when she was dating Connor’s father, and how he won her heart. Then she told me about falling for Hyungwon in a completely different way. “Both were unexpected, but falling in love with Hyungwon snuck up on me. I just woke up one day and realized it.”“I think I can understand that. I think I am there.”Clara looked at me with a huge smile. “It took you long enough.” I just shook my head and looked at her.“How do you do that? You and Mom both. It is like you are psychic or something.”She laughed, “He already said it, didn’t he?”“Yep. Sure did”“And now you are wondering if you really feel it or if it is a reflex feeling.”“Yep. Sure am.”“I think deep down you already know the answer. I think you’ve known for a while and just didn’t want to admit it.” She paused and took my hand, “Sis, it is OK to feel things. It is OK to love, it is OK to get hurt. That’s why they call it falling in love. Falling hurts. But it also feels fantastic and free.”“You really know how to put things in perspective.”“That is why I am good at my job.”“And being a big sister,” I hugged her.“So when are you going to tell him?”“Soon, probably. Before I go back. I don’t think I can leave it hanging like that.”“I think that is long overdue,” she smiled. “But just know that long distance will be hard. Trust me, I know. While Nathan was stationed overseas, it was really hard. Then he came home and we lived on base for a while. Connor was born, and a few months later he got deployed. I hardly got to talk to him and Connor never really got to know him. That was the hardest part. Nathan was crazy about Connor, but they had such a short time together.” She had tears in her eyes remembering.“I think you have done an amazing job of making sure he knows his father, even though he isn’t here.”She wiped her face and nodded vehemently, “yes, I think so too. Nathan was an amazing husband and father. There is no way I am going to let his memory be completely erased. Hyungwon encourages it and I love that about him. A lot of men would be jealous, but he isn’t. He understands that death is different than divorce. You never forget them. Never. You just keep going. But you have to get started first.” She smiled through the painful memories. “The good ones don’t come along often. You need to hold on to them when they do.”That night I listened to Minhyuk’s rhythmic breathing as I laid with my head on his chest. There was something very comforting about it. I thought about what Clara had said. I felt like he was one of the good ones. I let my imagination run free for the first time. I pictured him as a husband, father, and son-in-law. I could see it clearly and it made me feel happy. Should I hold on to him? Was he the one? These crazy feelings I had been having, were they love? I had questions, but only one answer fit. Yes. Yes was the answer to them all.I nestled in closer to him with a smile on my face. I tilted my head and whispered in his ear, “I love you, too.” He wrapped his arms tighter around me and exhaled as if he had been holding his breath. I had no idea what this meant for the future, but I was ready to focus on the present. I closed my eyes and slept.We spent the next two days together. He had arranged for a substitute to come in for those days. We spent a lot of time in bed, on the couch, in the kitchen, and even in the car. We went out for dinner, and we walked hand-in-hand wherever we went. We giggled, we flirted, we were probably obnoxiously lovey. We were in love and didn’t care who knew.On my last night we ate dinner with the family, including Hyungwon and Changkyun. He had to drop Anna off so he was a little late. The others all had things going on, so it was a smaller crowd than usual.Minhyuk fit right in with my family. His crazy matched our crazy. He and Connor had an amazing relationship. Watching them together made me long to have a family. It was something I had put aside for so many years while I tried to build my career, my life.I didn’t want to leave the next day. I wanted to stay with them, with him. But I had responsibilities. Heidi was handling things, but I needed to get back and handle my part. That night, that last night together for who knows how long, was different than any night we had spent so far.When we got back to his house, he told me not to change clothes yet. He led me to the bathroom and started running a bath in the oversized tub. It was big enough for us both. The scent of roses filled the air as he poured scented bubble bath into the stream, causing soft and creamy white foam to rise from the steaming water.As the tub filled, he turned to me with that smirky smile that brought me to my knees. I reached for him but he captured my hands and held them against his chest in one of his. With his other hand, he tucked a wayward curl behind my ear. His fingers trailed down my neck to the collar of my dress. He let go of my hands and began unbuttoning the tiny pearl buttons that ran the entire length of the dress. With each one, he pushed the fabric open a little more. With each one, he let his fingers touch my skin. With each one, he left a trail of fire with his touch. By the time he got to my waist, I was ready for him. I tried again to undress him, but he just nodded and kept going until he was at thigh level. He went to turn off the water but was back in a split second.He turned me so that I faced the full-length mirror. He stood behind me and slowly pulled the dress off my shoulders, exposing my bra. My nipples were so hard they hurt. He smiled when he saw them poking through the lace. He placed a wet kiss on my shoulder as he pushed the dress off my arms and let it fall to the floor. I stepped out of it and kicked it away. I was in only my bra and wispy lace panties, but he was fully dressed. He unclasped my bra and my breasts sprang free. He slipped his hands under my panties and slid them down. They glistened in the light from my juices. He hissed through his teeth when he saw.He watched me in the mirror. He ran his hands from my shoulders, down my arms, and to my hands. He laced our fingers together, but kept my palms open. He guided my hands to touch my own body. He started on my stomach, then my breasts, then back down to my thighs. I turned my head to capture his lips. He kissed me and then whispered firmly, “watch.” I did as I was told.He ran my hands to my inner thighs and then up. I felt the heat and wetness as we reached the V. He pressed my middle finger so that it slipped in between my lips. I whimpered as he moved my hand deeper into my folds, teasing my swollen clit. He moved my fingers against it and then slid our fingers together inside me. I moaned and my head fell back. Again he said, “watch. I want you to see how beautiful you are when you come.”I felt my knees buckle, but he held me against his body. I felt him hard against my ass. I couldn’t stop my hips from rocking against our hands and his cock. Our hands moved faster and the palm of my hand pressed against my clit as he wiggled our fingers inside. I felt my release beginning and my hips rocked harder, “I am coming,” I cried as my body shook. He held my waist to keep me steady as the pleasure overtook me. I forced myself to keep eye contact with him and it made it even more erotic.“That’s my girl, come for me. My beautiful girl,” he whispered huskily against my ear. When my body finally relaxed, he pulled our fingers out of me. He turned me to face him and kissed me. He finally let me undress him and we got in the tub. He pulled me on top of him and I slid down, taking him fully inside me. Water splashed out onto the tile as I rode him. I gripped the sides of the tub as my pussy gripped his throbbing cock. I rocked my hips as he filled me completely. My head fell back as another wave of ecstasy took over me. I felt my walls contract around him as if my pussy was trying to suck him dry. He rose to meet me and cried out my name as he came with me.Later, as we laid in bed, we talked about how we would make this work. We would talk every day, or at least try to. We would video chat as often as we could. We would visit each other when we could. We would make it work… somehow.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Rip·tide noun
[ˈriptīd]
A dangerous area of strongly moving water in the sea, where two or more currents (= water moving in a particular direction) meet
I sat at my desk and stared off through the window. The distant ocean looked as lonely as I felt. I missed him. It had been 5 weeks since I had seen him, video chats notwithstanding. We talked every day, sometimes early, and sometimes late. The time difference added a secondary challenge to our long-distance relationship.I was trying to find a week that I could take off to fly home and see him during the summer, but so far I hadn’t been able to. Wedding season was upon us and I was booked solid for the next few months. I felt bad dumping all that on Heidi, so I didn’t. My phone rang and snapped me out of my thoughts.I took the call and made notes to put together a quote for a luau. They wanted the full package and then some. They wanted the world. They also wanted it on an already heavily booked weekend. I had to tell them no and offered to put them on my waitlist. They said OK, but didn’t sound happy. For the first time, I didn’t care.That is what got my attention. I didn’t care that a potential client wasn’t happy. I would usually have done everything I could to make them happy. But something had changed. I had changed. I realized the client wasn’t the most important thing. Yes, they were important. Very much so, but not the most important.My phone rang again, and it was my love.“MinMin! I miss you,” I answered as if we hadn’t talked in days.“Cheonsa, I miss you too.”“How was your day? Were the kids good today?”“They were amazing, especially Connor. He is doing great.”“I love hearing that. He has really blossomed since he started in your class. Thank you,” I said softly.We chatted about nothing in particular for a few minutes and then he said he had a surprise.“I love surprises. What is it?”“I have something in my hand that you would love to see.” My thoughts turned X-rated immediately and I giggled. “Not that, you dirty girl. I’ll send you a photo. Jamkkanman,” he didn’t even realize that sometimes he spoke Korean. I didn’t mind, and I understood what he said anyway.“I can’t wait… and you can send a pic of the other thing too… for later,” I giggled again. Our phone sex sessions were nice but nothing close to the real thing. The photo came through and I enlarged it. “Is that a plane ticket? A plane ticket to LAX? Seriously? You are coming to see me?” I was up and bouncing around the room.“Yes, as soon as school wraps and I finish up, I am coming for 2 weeks,” he paused. “I should have asked first, I am sorry. Is it OK?” He sounded apologetic.“Of course it is OK! I will have to work some, but there’s plenty to do while you wait on me.”“I just want to see my angel,” my heart melted.After we hung up, I twirled around the room giggling. “Three weeks! Only three weeks until I see my boyfriend!” I sang into the empty room. Heidi came in and looked at me like I had something growing out of my head. I told her and she got excited with me.“Finally. You’ve been like a lost puppy for weeks now. Are you going to take some time to spend with him?” she asked.“A little, but we have so much going on right now. It will be hard to take much.”“Hannah, I can handle it. You have trained me well. I know how to do it your way.”“Maybe, let’s see how crazy it is then. You know I don’t like dumping it all on your shoulders.” Heidi shrugged and went on about her work.The next three weeks couldn’t go by fast enough, but finally I was sitting in the airport pickup line waiting for Min to appear in the doorway. He had already texted that he was on his way to get his bags. I was far down the line so I hoped he could find my car. I had recently traded in my tiny sedan for a small crossover SUV. I felt much safer and I had room to haul event stuff.I had let Heidi convince me to take a few days off to spend with him. She promised she would call if anything went wrong or if she needed my help. I found myself hoping it all went smoothly so we could enjoy our time.He sent another text that his luggage had been acquired and he was heading for the doors. The line of cars advanced a little and I got out to watch for him. I was anxious and realized I was standing there fidgeting and wringing my hands. I pushed my sunglasses up on my nose and tried to stand still as I watched the door like a hawk waiting for its prey.There he was. My breath caught in my chest and my heart pounded at the sight of him. He looked like he had just stepped out of a fashion magazine, not a four hour flight. His hair was blond again, a lighter shade than when we met, and he had on large sunglasses. He was wearing faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt with an unbuttoned pastel striped shirt over it. His lips were pouty as he looked up and down the line of cars.I was waving like a crazy woman, bouncing and trying to catch his attention. He spotted me and his face split into a smile. I headed toward him and him to me. He let go of his bags and took me in his arms, spinning me around. Our lips met and the world around us faded away. If I had any doubt about my feelings for him, they disappeared in that moment.I took his hand and his carry-on bag and led him to my car. We loaded him up and I watched for a break to pop out of the line. We talked all the way to my apartment. I had taken extra care to make sure everything was pristine and organized before he arrived. I bought fresh flowers to brighten the place a little, and I got a set of new higher thread count sheets for the bed. I only had two sets and they were both old and worn. It wasn’t something I really thought about normally.I was thankful that my building had an elevator. I was on the 5th floor and had a nice view, but if it had been stairs only, I would have been miserable living there. As soon as we were inside, I was in his arms again. When we came up for air, I took him on a mini-tour of my 3 rooms.“You can see the spacious and open living room and kitchen area,” I spread my arms to demonstrate. “And here we have the bedroom, and through that door is the bathroom. I only have a shower, no tub.” I said apologetically as I turned to him. He winked.“This will do nicely,” he said as he took my hands and walked backwards to the bed. He fell back, pulling me with him. I landed on top of him and he held my face in his hands. “I have missed you more than I thought possible, Hannah.”“I have missed you more,” I smiled and lowered my face to where our lips barely touched. “I love you, MinMin,” I said as I closed the final space between us.Hungrily, we devoured each other. It had been weeks since we had been together, so we moved at a fevered and intense pace at first. After we both reached a release, we were able to slow down and savor each other. The second time was emotional and passionate.After we napped for a bit, we went for a swim in the pool. We didn’t actually get any swimming in, except when we played tag. He was faster than me and caught me easily each time. His prize was me, so there was no loser.We spent a lot of time breaking in those new sheets over the next few days. We went to Sea World and a few other tourist spots. I also took him to some of my favorite places, including a perfect little spot to watch the sunset over the ocean. He was sitting on the ground and I was sitting between his legs with my back against him. His arms were around me and I was feeling really relaxed. We watched the giant orange glowing ball of fire fall into the waves and disappear. It was a stunning show.“Hannah?” My name sounded like music when he said it.“Yes, Min?”“Have you thought about coming back to Atlanta?” There it was. The question I had been expecting.“Someday? But I have too much going on to consider that right now.” I felt him tense a bit and then pull me tighter.“Hmm, OK,” he said against my hair as he kissed my head. “Maybe I can change your mind.” He slid his hand inside my shirt and cupped my breast. I sighed and melted against him.“You can definitely try,” I said as he teased my nipple through my bra. He slid his other hand between my thighs and slipped his thumb under the edge of my shorts. I moaned as his fingers inched closer and closer to my core. I felt myself grow wet and he hadn’t even made contact yet. “Yes, please try,” I turned my head to him and we kissed.A noise behind us caused us to straighten up and laugh. He hugged me and said, “I love you, Cheonsa.”“I love you too, MinMin.” My stomach chose that moment to make itself known. “Um, maybe we should eat something.”“Probably should. We’ve been very active lately. Burning a lot of calories. What does my love want for dinner?”“You, but maybe a steak appetizer?”“Steak appetizer sounds good. You pick the place.”We went to my favorite steakhouse and I ordered a NY Strip, baked potato, and roasted Brussels sprouts. Side note, if you haven’t tried them, I highly recommend it. They are on a whole other level from those disgusting steamed ones. But I digress, let’s get back to my story.We stopped for ice cream on the walk back to my apartment. I got a cone with strawberry cheesecake and he got mango. I licked the creamy scoop and locked eyes with him. It was a teaser of things to come… pun intended. He watched as my tongue rounded the top and then my lips closed on it. He returned the tease by driving his tongue into the middle of his ice cream and then sucking it.It was a fun game, but it was time to get real. As soon as we were inside and the door was locked, I slammed him back against the door. I might have been a little rough, but he didn’t seem to mind. Our mouths were all over each other and clothes were shed and thrown to all corners of the room. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me to the table and sat me on it. His mouth found my breast and he lightly bit my nipple. My back arched and I cried out.“Did I hurt you?” he stopped and made sure I was OK.“No,” I growled and pulled his head back down. I reached down between his legs and he was rock hard. He groaned at my touch and pressed into my hand. “Now I am ready for my dinner,” I purred as I got off the table and dropped to my knees in front of him. He lifted me back up.“That is too uncomfortable for my Cheonsa. Over there,” he pointed to the couch and led me there. He put a throw pillow on the floor for me.“That is very thoughtful. Now sit,” I put my hand on his chest and pushed him so that he fell backwards with a laugh. The smirk on his face told me he was enjoying it. I put my hands on his thighs and leaned into his face. “I want your cock in my mouth now. Would you like that?”“Mmm, yes, I would like that very much.” His voice was husky with desire. I bit my lip and got on my knees in front of him.“I want you to watch me. Tell me what you want me to do. Teach me how you like it.” I took him in my hands and lowered my mouth, flicking my tongue over the tip. He smiled and tangled his hand in my hair.“I want to fuck your mouth. Open up,” he said with that sideways smile. I took him in my mouth and let him pleasure himself with it. He held my head and thrust in and out while looking into my eyes. I was so wet that I felt my juices running down my thighs. He was going faster and faster, and I could tell he was getting close when I tasted the precum. I was playing with his balls and felt them tighten up. “Ah Hannah, I am gonna come!” I smiled and instead of pulling away like he expected, I closed my mouth and went down deeper. I felt the explosion in my mouth as he cried out. He tasted salty and sweet. I swallowed and sucked all the way back up.He was out of breath and looked at me with a surprised and very pleased look. He pulled me up and held me against him. “Your turn,” he whispered against my ear as he flipped us around. He reached down and felt how wet I was. “Hannah, you are dripping,” he groaned and pushed my thighs apart. He lowered his face and I could see his smile as his mouth disappeared behind my mound.He teased me at first with his tongue, then captured my clit with his lips and sucked. When his tongue joined the party, I thought I was going to come, but he stopped. I protested, and tried to pull him back, but he just told me to slow down then started tongue fucking me. I grabbed hold of his head and rode his tongue. I couldn’t hold back anymore and my body shook from the waves of pleasure shooting through me.He laughed that sexy little satisfied laugh and pulled me up and onto his lap. He was hard again and he lifted my hips so I could slide down onto his cock. I rode him hard, rocking back and forth and then up and down, side to side, and up and down again. I had good leverage and I took advantage of it. I held his shoulders and he held my hips. We were staring into each other’s eyes and I felt the pressure growing again. I could feel my mouth just hanging open in an O shape and I couldn’t stop the sounds that were growing louder and louder. My head flew back and I exploded. I called his name over and over while my body shuddered. His fingers dug into my hips as he came too. Afterwards, we just sat entwined for what felt like hours, catching our breath.I felt overwhelmed with emotion and tears quietly fell as I rested my head on his shoulder. He stroked my back and hugged me tight. He turned his head and kissed me. When he tasted the saltiness that had reached my lips, he gently wiped my face with his thumb. He smiled sweetly and looked at me with a soft and loving expression. I smiled back and straightened up then I slid off his lap and snuggled in beside him. I pulled the throw blanket over us because the air conditioning was blowing right on us.I had been trying not to think about the fact that he was leaving in 3 days. I wasn’t ready to let him go again, but I knew I could not keep him there. I wondered if he had considered moving to LA and decided I would bring it up before he went back.We repositioned ourselves so that we were laying down and we fell asleep. The next morning I had a day full of meetings and errands ahead of me. He decided he would explore the city while I worked. He called an Uber even though I offered him my car. He said he preferred being driven, especially in an unfamiliar city.I was busy with work, but the day seemed to drag. When I had picked up the last event decoration and dropped it at the office, I had to keep myself from speeding home. When I walked in, he was in the kitchen unpacking our dinner. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him. I laid my head on his back and inhaled his scent. He turned in my arms and kissed me hello.“I am almost finished here, so you go get out of those clothes and get comfortable.”“Comfortable naked? Or comfortable dressed?” I asked.“Hmm, whichever you prefer, but if you want to eat dinner clothes are probably the best choice. Otherwise, you might become dinner.” He kissed my nose and patted my ass to shoo me along. I changed into a thin t-shirt and shorts and was back just as he put the plates on the table.We ate jjajangmyeon and then watched a little TV. We made love again. It felt like he lived there and this was a normal day. I didn’t want him to go. I still wasn’t ready to bring up him moving yet. 2 more days. That was all I had left. Just 2 short days. On the morning of his flight, we stayed in bed as long as possible. Neither of us wanted to accept it was time. I was trying to get up the nerve to ask him to move to LA, but he beat me to the punch. He turned so that we could look at each other.“Hannah, I want to spend my life with you. I want to wake up every morning next to you and go to sleep with you every night. I want to have a family with you. I want to grow old with you,” he tucked my hair behind my ear and ran his finger along my jaw. My breath caught with anticipation.“I want that too, Minhyuk. Does that mean…” He started speaking at the same time.“Will you marry me? Will you come back to Atlanta and stay with me?” I was speechless. I had certainly not expected a proposal. And he went the opposite direction I had hoped. I just blinked and stared at him as my mind processed this information. “Hannah?”I sat up and crossed my legs. I took his hand and said, “MinMin, I would love to marry you, but I can’t move back to Atlanta. Not yet. I have a business here. I have to succeed here.” He started to speak but I put my finger on his lips. “I have to make this work on my own. If I go back, I will be riding on my Dad’s coattails. I have to prove that I can do this on my own.”“To whom? Who do you have to prove it to?” He asked, the pain in his eyes was like daggers to my heart.“To everyone, Dad, Mom, Clara… me.” I paused and tears welled in my eyes. “I didn’t want to come here. They pushed me to get out on my own. They said they had faith in me, that they knew I could become successful. I took that job out here because of them. I stayed because I had to prove them right.”“If you are worried about money, that is not a problem. I have more than enough for us to have a very comfortable life.”“I am not worried about money. And I don’t need you to take care of me. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” I wasn’t trying to sound offended by his words, but I couldn’t help how they came out.“I know you are. I just meant that should not be a reason to reject me.” He sat up and said, “I don’t want to get in the way of your career. I just thought that maybe you could build it closer to your family, closer to me.” His words cut deep and my heart was breaking because I could see how much I had just hurt him. Regardless, my defense mechanisms kicked in.“Is that really fair though?”“What do you mean?”“Is it fair to ask me to drop everything and move across the country? What about you coming here? Did you even consider that option?”“Hannah, I have been thinking about that for weeks. I have tried to find a way to come here. I have students. I have obligations to the school. We are breaking ground on a second campus this fall. I have to be around for all that. I thought… hoped that you would want to be back with your family. You have mentioned how you don’t really like it here, so…” his words trailed off.“So you thought I would just uproot myself. Is your business so much more important than mine?”“No, it… just forget it. Forget I asked. I guess this is it.”“It? What do you mean?”“Hannah, I can’t keep going like this. Not when I am ready to have a family with you. Being apart from you is too hard. I can’t stand not seeing you, not holding you. I don’t want this long distance thing. I want you. I love you more than I could ever tell you, but I need you with me.”“That is exactly why I didn’t want to start this. I knew it would never work!” I got up and put on a robe. I stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door. I broke down into tears as soon as it closed.Once I stopped crying, I cleaned myself up and prepared to face him again. This was our first big fight. Why did we have to fight about this? But he had to see why I couldn’t leave everything I had here. I was building my business. He knew how much this meant to me.He was packing his things when I left the bathroom. He looked at me with such pain and longing, it nearly broke me. I straightened my back and my resolve. Marriage was not the answer. It wasn’t time. I still had too much to do before I was ready to become a wife and mother. Yes, I wanted that… more than I cared to admit. But now? Just when I am building a name for myself? Why couldn’t he just support my dreams? That’s what couples do, right?I pushed away the voice of ‘reason’ in the back of my head. It sounded like Clara telling me I was being ridiculous and selfish. I wasn’t. It was just that the timing was all wrong.“Cheonsa,” Min said, taking a step towards me. I shot him a look and he stopped.“What?” I snapped.“In all the scenarios I played out in my head, this was not one of them.” He moved closer to me and held out his hand, “I don’t think this is really what either of us wants.”I stepped back out of his reach and hugged my arms to my body, “maybe not, but it is what we have left, isn’t it?”“I guess so,” he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.“I think we’ve said all we can say about it. You need to get to the airport, so let’s go.”“I don’t think that is a good idea. I am going to call an Uber.”That was the last thing I expected and it stung. I fought back tears and said, “fine. Call your Uber. I need some air. I am going outside. Please lock the door behind you.” I took my keys, phone, and sunglasses and held my head high as I stood in the doorway. I turned to him with tears in my eyes, “Minhyuk… I…” He looked at me, his pain matching my own. I opened my mouth and nothing came out. In a voice barely above a whisper, I finally managed to say, “have a safe flight.” I closed the door and walked to the elevator. I thought I was going to be sick.I found an empty table by the pool and sat under the umbrella, watching the doorway through my tears. A few minutes passed and he came out to meet his driver. He loaded his luggage in the back and looked around as he was getting in. Our eyes met one last time, and then he got in the car. I watched as my future drove away and took my heart with him.
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I cried for hours after I got back up to my apartment. I didn’t eat, but I drank a whole bottle of wine and then slept. I was on autopilot getting ready for work the next morning. I went through my usual routine, but only half-heartedly. I sat in traffic on my way to work just like always. At a red light, I saw a couple walking down the sidewalk. They were young and in love, kissing and holding hands as they walked. They looked so happy. Seeing them was the thing that broke me. The tears began falling again and I could not see to drive. Horns honked as the light turned green and I didn’t move. I couldn’t move. I leaned onto my steering wheel and let the tears fall.A passerby knocked on my window and asked if I was alright. I nodded and wiped my face. I heard the blaring of the horns and smiled meekly at the person. I drove to the next parking lot and pulled in. I texted Heidi and told her I wasn’t feeling well and asked if she could handle things for a couple more days. She said not to worry and sent a smiley face. The next thing I knew, I was on my bed and I don’t remember how I got there. I was holding his pillow. It still smelled like him. I sobbed. I sobbed like I had lost all hope. I sobbed until I threw up, and then cried some more. I had never felt this kind of pain before. It was crippling.The sun’s blinding rays broke through the hazy morning and landed right in my eyes. I normally loved waking to the sun. It was cheery and made me feel good. But that wasn’t the case that morning. My head hurt and my eyes were dry. I felt feverish and sick to my stomach. The light felt more like an intrusion than anything.I drug myself out of bed and went to get water. I went into the bathroom and saw my reflection. My eyes were red and swollen and my face was puffy. I splashed water on it and patted it dry with a towel. I made myself a cup of coffee and spit out the first sip. It just tasted bitter, even with my flavored creamer.I decided a shower would help. I stood under the scalding water and begged it to wash away the pain. I don’t know how my body was able to make them, but more tears came. After I dried off, I curled up under a blanket on the couch. I slept the rest of the day. My dreams were filled with his face.When I woke up that evening, I felt just as bad. I pulled some leftovers out of the fridge, but the smell of food turned my stomach. I put them back and went back to curl up under my blanket again. I turned on the TV but I didn’t even notice the channel or the show. I was not able to focus on it. I just left it on for the distraction.Changkyun called. I didn’t answer because I just could not handle talking about it. I was sure he had talked to Minhyuk already and wanted to know why I hadn’t called him yet. He called 3 more times and I finally answered. Instead of yelling at me for not picking up or for not calling first, he just asked if I was OK. I said, “not really” and he asked me to tell him everything.“I don’t think I have the strength, Kyunnie. It hurts so bad. I have never felt anything like this before.”“Talking will help. You’ll get some of it out.” I knew I couldn’t keep it bottled up, but I felt like I would break if I talked. He managed to get me to start. He was such a good listener and the words began spilling out. By the time I finished, I had cried another pitcher full of tears.He sighed. “So here is what I have put together from what you have both told me. Tell me if I missed anything. You finally admitted what the rest of us have known for months, you love him. He loves you. Are we on the same page so far?”“Yes,” I squeaked.“He asked you to marry him and move back here with your family, whom you love and miss.”“Yes.”“Your pride got in the way and you said no.”“Hey, that’s not…”“Hannah, you forget who you are talking to. Shut up and let me finish my assessment.” I sulked as he continued. Changkyun was the only person who could get away with telling me to shut up… aside from Mom. “You gave him some bullshit about proving yourself. What the fuck, Hannah? What are you proving? Who do you have to prove anything to?”“Myself, mostly, but also my family.”“Bullshit. They don’t need you to prove anything.”“My parents practically pushed me out here to make something of myself.”“You realize they did that so you would have a life of your own, right? Eomma told me how you were thinking about just working with your dad because ‘he needed you’. They just wanted you to find your own path. They don’t expect you to prove anything. You’ve already shown them you can survive on your own. Can you not see that?”“Kyun, I just… I don’t…” I let out a loud sigh. I had no response. At least not a valid one. That stupid pride of mine was in the way again.“I thought so. And now you are going to let him go. Just like that.” He made a tsk tsk sound. “Hannah, I am disappointed in you. I have never known you not to fight for what you want. You are too stubborn for that.” He paused, “Well, it is your life. Screw it up if you want. I’ll always be here to hold your hair and to help you up off the floor. But just know, I think you are making a huge mistake.”I spent the next day in much the same way as the one before. Kyun’s call just made it worse because now I had to face myself. I wasn’t ready for that. Heidi called to check on me and I told her I would be in the next day. I didn’t want to but I had a meeting with a new client for a huge corporate event they wanted to do.At lunch the next day, I forced myself to eat a few bites of a sandwich and almost didn’t keep it down. I knew I needed to get something in my stomach if I didn’t want to pass out during the meeting. Heidi knew something was wrong and kept prodding me. All I told her was, “we broke up.” She didn’t need the details. She brought me a cup of herbal tea and stood over me to make sure I drank it. I smiled and thanked her.After a couple of days, the pain had faded to a constant ache instead of sharp and stabbing ones. I was still just going through the motions and not really interested in anything. I didn’t even watch the Independence Day fireworks display, which was something I always looked forward to. The big client went with another company for their event. I didn’t care.Clara called to tell me that she and Hyungwon had gotten engaged and would be getting married in October. She asked me to be her maid of honor and to also help her plan everything. I was really happy for her, but it brought back the sharp and stabbing pains. I could be the one asking her and that thought brought it all rushing back. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t keep it together. I broke down again. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to tell her yet. I eventually got myself together and got back to the conversation. She apologized for upsetting me. I felt awful for stealing her good news thunder.She gave me the information I needed to start working. I was thankful for the distraction, even under the circumstances. My other jobs were already well on their way and none were as personal as this. I considered it an honor to do this with her.The ceremony was going to be very small with just the family and extended family. It would be on Dad’s new patio in early evening. They were going to have a party the day after instead of a reception for everyone else. She gasped and then cleared her throat.“What is it?” I asked.“Um, well… you know Wonnie and Min have known each other for a long long time, right?”“Yes?” I said with a question in my voice.“Well, he is Wonnie’s best man. I didn’t know, Hannah. I am sorry.” I felt a heaviness on top of the pain. I hadn’t known when I would see him again and figured we would be able to avoid each other fairly easily. But this… well, this was unavoidable.“That’s OK, sis. I am a big girl. I am just happy you two are finally doing this. So let’s talk about my dress.” I tried to change the subject.“We are going with black and silver, with red roses. My dress will be platinum and he will be in a black suit, maybe a tux. You and Min can wear black. It will just be the two of you, by the way.”“Have you found your dress? Do you know the style yet?”“I have one in mind. I wanted to show you first. I’ll send a pic.” The dress was a floor length strapless sheath with a sheer, sleeveless overdress. It was gathered at the neck and flowed the full length of the gown. It had a wide beaded belt. It was simple, elegant, and stunning.“Clara, this is perfect! You are going to be the most beautiful bride ever!” I felt tears starting again, but this time they were happy ones.“Hannah, I feel so…” I cut her off.“Shh, please don’t. It is better if we just keep going. So, what do you have in mind for me?”“Well, I thought I would let you choose. Just something black.”“But it is your wedding.”“My second one. We did the full deal before, remember? This is much less formal. I know whatever you choose will be perfect.”I had three months to find a dress and plan everything. The ceremony was simple, and Dad had catering wrapped up for the party. I took stock of my decorations and realized I didn’t need much of anything. She wanted fairy lights strung up, flowers, and simple table arrangements. I had a floral design in mind already, so I called my favorite Atlanta floral shop and worked out the details.I wasn’t in the mood for the mall, so I took to online shopping for the dress. I found a few I liked and sent them to Kyun. He rejected them all. I tried again a couple of weeks later and he finally liked one. It was a simple black satin strapless cocktail length dress with a flouncy skirt and a platinum sash at the waist. I sent it to Clara and she loved it. It was in stock in my size so I ordered it. The shop had a local storefront and I could return it there if it didn’t fit.With all that off my mind, I could dive back into work. And by that I mean I sat at my desk staring into space. Heidi would come check on me and remind me of client meetings and things I needed to do. I also realized she had been catching and correcting errors I had made. I was missing deadlines, ordering wrong quantities of things, wrong colors… just careless errors that I never used to make. I knew I needed to get it together, but I just didn’t care. I had zero interest in it. I just wanted to crawl into a hole.I had barely been able to eat since we broke up. I felt like I would throw up whenever I did. I wanted to sleep all the time, except when it was time to go to bed. I was wide awake then. When I did sleep, it wasn’t restful. I dreamt of Minhyuk often. Many times it was a recurring dream of him holding a wedding ring and fading to black. I woke up crying on those nights. When I was awake, I wondered what he was doing. Was he feeling this pain too? I had never been so miserable.I felt like I was always in quicksand. It took effort to move, to breathe. I felt no joy in things that used to bring it. Cute kittens, sunsets over the ocean, a butterfly landing on my balcony, the smell of fresh bread from the bakery down the street, they all used to make me smile. I barely even noticed them now.My girlfriends kept trying to get me to go out but I always said I didn’t feel like it. We used to go out a couple of times a month. Usually we would get together to eat dinner, or go to a movie, go dancing, or just meet up at one of our houses to hang out and maybe drink wine or eat ice cream. I hadn’t gone out since before Minhyuk came to visit.I tried to pull myself out of the seemingly never-ending funk, but it never worked. The days ran together and the nights were torture. I held his pillow to my chest every night in the beginning, and then I put it in the closet when it became too much. His lingering scent made it harder to accept that he wasn’t there. I knew it was my fault he was gone, and I gave myself the proverbial forty lashes every night for weeks on end.Everything changes, nothing lasts forever, all good things come to an end, it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before… these cliches have stuck around for a reason. That last one though, I wanted to have words with whoever penned that one. Maybe a slap to the face, a punch to the gut, you know… I would choose violence.Ooh, thought of another one… Love is a battlefield. Pat Benetar anyone? Yeah, I think she nailed it. I felt like I had been at battle and lost. I hurt. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. I was a wreck. Not only that, but I felt guilty. I felt guilty for letting him go, for not standing up for what I want. But it was not something that could be won like that. This wasn’t one of those situations where reasoning would win. One of us had to move. That’s it. Someone had to make the sacrifice to pack up their life and move it across the country. Neither of us was able. Adulting sucks. Love sucks. My dress arrived. It was too big. Either the size was way off or I had lost weight and didn’t realize it until I had something new on my body. I had not even paid attention to what I chose to wear to work, much less how it looked.Looking at myself in the mirror made me think about a lot of things so I tried to avoid it. I had to do it now, but first I had to get past the flashbacks of the night in his bathroom. I felt a pain in my chest and pushed back tears for the fifteenth time that day.I looked at myself for the first time in weeks. I mean really looked at myself. What I saw was a wreck. Merida was back with a vengeance. I hadn’t been to the salon so my natural color was really showing and I hadn’t been straightening my hair. I had dark circles under my eyes and I looked gaunt and extra pale. My eyes looked glassy and empty. I took a deep breath and decided it was time to get myself in order.I called my stylist to see when she could get me in. She’d had a cancellation that afternoon and told me to come in 3 hours. Next, I made an appointment for a facial, and another for waxing… I was getting furry too. Those were not as quick to happen.I packed the dress up and headed to the mall. I hated going to the mall. Traffic is awful and there is never any parking. Inside is crowded and noisy. Not my cup of tea. But it had to be done.I actually got lucky and someone backed out of a space near the front entrance just as I pulled into the lane. I whipped my little SUV in there before anyone could steal it. I walked in, focused on my task. I found a sales person, surprisingly, and she helped me exchange it for one that fit.My usual routine was to buy new matching underwear when I got a fancy outfit. Out of habit, I went to the lingerie department. Nothing really caught my eye. I settled on a pair of platinum silver silk panties. They were simple and not my usual style, but they were still sexy.On my way out, a pair of strappy high heeled sandals caught my eye. They would look great with my dress. I hadn’t even thought about shoes, which was odd. I love shoes. Like really, really love shoes. I tried them on and they fit just right, so I got them.I already had earrings I could wear, but I figured I might as well round out the outfit. The retail therapy was a nice distraction. As I passed through the jewelry department I spotted a pair of sparkling rhinestone chandelier earrings that beckoned to me. They were the first thing I had been interested in buying. Purchases in hand, I headed to the safety of my car. I was beginning to feel the haze closing in on me again.I sat in my car and took a few deep breaths. I knew I had to regain control of myself. The way I had been acting was completely out of character. I hadn’t even realized it, but now that I was aware, I had to do something about it. As I drove to my hair appointment, I decided I would try something different. A new start, and a new me.
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Over the next few weeks, I appeared to have my act together. I taught myself how to smile through the pain. Life had to go on and if I planned to be successful, I had to get myself back on track. My business had been suffering because of my disinterest.With 3 weeks left, I got Clara’s wedding plans done. The flowers were ordered, I worked with Dad on the menu for the party, and I built the layout for the decorations and lights. I had my plane ticket, my dress, and a new look. I cut about 4 inches off my hair and added highlights and lowlights to it. It was just below my shoulders now. It took less time to style, so I had started straightening it again.Anyone seeing me during the day would think I was fine. I had control over that part of me. But at night I fell apart. Every night. Complete meltdown. I had put away all the photos of us. I kept his pillow in the closet, and any reminders of our time together were in a box. I still couldn’t get rid of anything, but I at least didn’t have to look at it.One Friday night, I was just about to wash up and settle into my new routine of wine and tears when the doorbell rang. It was my friends. They were doing their version of an intervention.They pushed their way into my apartment and looked ready to go paint the town. There were 4 of them, so I was outnumbered. There was Kathy, who was the oldest of us. She was 39 going on 26. Married, 2 kids, stay at home mom. She was tall and gorgeous with jet black hair and gray eyes. Kathy was our voice of reason… when she was sober. She was also the first to get drunk on our play dates.Next was Chelsea. She was newly divorced and ready to sleep with any man who showed an interest in her, just to get back at her ex. She was average height, auburn hair, and pretty enough to get herself into trouble.Maddie was the quiet one. She tended not to talk about herself as much as the others, but she had revealed that she was going through some challenges in her marriage. Her husband had an affair and they were trying to reconcile. Maddie was short, blonde, and cute. Her personality was bubbly and cheerful, but sometimes I wondered if that was her defense mechanism.And last was the troublemaker, Samantha. Sam was tall, a bit plain looking, but had huge boobs and short hair that changed colors all the time. Currently it was blue. She was single and had no interest in commitment. The most dates she had been on with anyone was 3. She had even dated a couple of girls along the way. She was free and that is how she liked it.I wasn’t sure how I fit into this group sometimes. I was more of a homebody than a party girl, and they were all very much into clubbing and drinking. Many times I was the designated driver when we went out. I preferred it when they came over to my place so that I didn’t have to worry about it.“Hannah, you have been like this for 3 months. We are tired of it. You are going out with us. The kids are with their grandmother tonight, so I don’t have a curfew,” Kathy spoke up first.“You need to get a grip and get back out there. You are gorgeous and could land a hot guy in a heartbeat,” Chelsea added.“How many guys have you seen me pick up in the two years we have known each other?” I asked.“Good point. But you could if you wanted to,” she finished.“You just need a good fuck. No strings. That’ll get you back to good.” Sam had no idea how wrong she was.“As previously stated, you are going out with us tonight,” Kathy again.Maddie still hadn’t said anything. I looked at her and she was smiling. She was carrying a bag and pulled out a curling iron. “Let’s do this, girls!” she said with an evil laugh.They sat me in a chair and one went into my bathroom and came back with my makeup organizer. Sam worked on my hair and Maddie did my face. Chelsea held up three dresses she had brought and told me to pick one. They were all short party dresses. Red, black, or gold beaded. I chose the gold beaded one because I liked the way it sparkled. I knew arguing with them was pointless, so I just went along.I heard Kathy and Chelsea in my bedroom looking for shoes. They came out with my wedding shoes and the sparkly ones I wore to prom. I told them the black ones were for my sister’s wedding, so they were off limits. That left the others. I didn’t want them because of the memories, but it was easier not to argue. And they would look great with the dress.I didn’t recognize myself when they finished. I looked good, just not like me. I never wore that much makeup. I forced a smile and resigned myself to going out. They called a taxi since they intended to get their usual designated driver drunk. They were laughing and making plans for the night while I just sat back, trying to pull my dress down a little. It was way too short and I was uncomfortable.We arrived at a club I had never been to before and they actually let us in ahead of the line. 5 hot girls? I think not. We were all past the prime age and there were plenty of younger, hotter ones in line. Sam had a connection and got us in. I was completely out of my element, my makeup and hair, my dress, my state of mind, and the environment were all against me.We got a booth against the wall and I sat in the middle. I wasn’t planning to get up anyway. Chelsea and Sam went to the bar to order drinks. They came back with shots. Tequila shots. I sighed and took mine. Sam led us in the lick, slam, suck process. Twice.It didn’t take long for the alcohol to burn it’s way into my bloodstream and make me feel the liberating effects. I wasn’t upset because for the first time in weeks I was not in pain. I felt the music beginning to affect me and I was dancing in my seat. A hand grabbed my arm and suddenly I was on the dance floor.I let myself feel the music and focused on it, shutting out everything else. After a couple of songs, I needed a rest. Another round of shots was waiting when we got back and we slammed them back. I was surprised to realize that I was enjoying myself. It was good to have the release. I needed it.After that third shot, I was babbling and flinging my hands all around when I talked. I started talking about Minhyuk. I know, you are surprised, right? I had to leave my shoes at the table when we went back out to dance because I was too wobbly in them. Chelsea had already latched on to a guy and was getting dry humped on the dance floor. She tried to pull me over to join them but I waved my hand and said no thanks.Sam was in between 2 guys and looked perfectly happy to be there. Kathy, Maddie, and I were dancing together. Some guy came over and squeezed his way in between us, but I turned my back and kept dancing. I wasn’t interested. He wasn’t there when I turned around again. We went back to the table and had one more shot. Number 4.Our group had grown by 3 because Chelsea and Sam had brought their guys with them. Sam was straddling the lap of one of hers while the other stood over her, and Chelsea was ready to get with hers right there in the booth. It made me nauseous to watch them, so I took my phone out of my tiny crossbody purse and checked it instead. I had a message from Kyun and it had a video attachment.The message said, “I thought you should see this, he just wrote this. And no he doesn’t know I recorded it.”It was Minhyuk and his acoustic guitar in the video, but I couldn’t hear it over the noise, so I put my shoes on and excused myself to the ladies’ room. I went outside instead when I saw the line to get in. It was the first time I had seen him in almost three months. His raspy voice was full of anguish and I felt like I had been hit in the stomach. The lyrics ripped my heart out of my chest. I felt the tears stinging my eyes again, but I couldn’t hold them back. He sang in Korean, but I understood the words. You probably erased me nowYou won’t be hung up on the pastBut in my memoriesIt’s still only your face that whispered to meInside your memoriesI’m just someone who’s not thereA face you’ve never seenI can’t do this anymoreIf only I could erase youIf only I could forget youI don’t need any sweet love songsIt’s a broken heartI don’t have a song to make you stayNow leave (go far away)You standing next to me (you)The sound of your laughter (all of it)I don’t need it (none of it now)I don’t need any of it (none of it now)Take all that is yours that isn’t mineAnd leave right awayA yo girl, my heart feels suffocated and darkGirl, it’s so hardThis feeling of loveIt’s 2 AM right nowMy emotions are explodingAll the songs I wrote as I thought of youAre groundless nowI won’t have it ever againThe precious times to be in love with youBut you’re in my memoriesAs I’m holding on, not able to forget a single momentYou used to whisper to meBut you keep getting farther awayI can’t get closer to you anymoreI can’t do this anymoreIf only I could erase youIf only I could forget youI wanted to leave, so I went back inside to find my friends, but I didn’t see them. I felt lost and a little panicky, and I just wanted to go home. I finally found Sam and she took me back to the table. The others appeared one by one. I couldn’t see well because of the film on my eyes from the running mascara. Someone asked if I was OK, then someone else laughed and said I was just drunk. They were having too good of a time to even notice what was happening to me. I put my head down and felt it spinning. I raised back up so that I didn’t get sick. That was the last thing I needed. 4 shots of tequila were not enough to knock me down usually, but they felt particularly potent that night. The girls pulled me back out on the dance floor despite my protests. I just wanted to forget everything, so I danced. I danced like I was driven by some unseen force. Some random guy came up and started gyrating beside me. I barely noticed him, but since I didn’t push him away, he stayed. I didn’t see where my friends went and didn’t care at that moment. I just wanted to forget. Forget. Forget. Forget.The guy must have thought I had given him the green light because he touched me and got closer. He grabbed hold of my waist and pulled me against his body. I pulled away and he pulled me back. I turned to use one of my defense moves on him and my foot caught on his. Suddenly I felt myself falling.The next thing I saw was bright lights over me. My head was pounding and I felt nauseous. I didn’t know where I was, but it wasn’t the club. I felt panic creeping in as I tried to sit up and figure out what was happening. A man in a white coat and blue scrubs was suddenly by my side.“Ms. Song, I am glad to see you are awake. I am Dr. Marks. You are in the ER. How are you feeling?”“What… the ER? What happened?” I tried again to sit up and he put his hand on my arm to stop me. I put my hand to my head because of the pain when I moved.“That’s going to hurt. You hit your head. You were brought in by ambulance. The club management called it in. They said you slipped on the dance floor.”“I… I remember an asshole trying to manhandle me and then I tripped. I didn’t slip. I remember everything clearly.”“Well, the club told the EMT that you had fallen. You do have a very high blood alcohol level, so maybe you don’t remember as clearly as you think.. Thankfully you do not have a concussion, just a really bad headache.”“Dr… Marks was it? I can hold my liquor. I am Irish and my stepdad is Korean. I know how to drink. I had 4 tequila shots over 3 hours. I remember everything very clearly.” His attitude was pissing me off. “My friends… are they here? How long have I been here?” I touched my arm where the IV was inserted. It was hurting.“No one was with you and your phone hasn’t rung. You came in just over an hour ago. You had passed out. We found your emergency contact and called him. He said he is on his way from Atlanta.” My eyes grew huge.“Changkyun? Oh no, no no. You called him?” I started to shake my head, but it hurt.“You were unconscious and he was listed, so yes. If you two broke up, maybe you should have changed it.”“He is my best friend, not my boyfriend. He lives on the other side of the country. I know he will drop everything to come here. That is the kind of guy he is.”“Then you are lucky to have a friend like that.” He looked down at the metal chart he was holding, “I want you to take acetaminophen for the headache. I suspect this is more the hangover than the knot on your head. You don’t need anything stonger, although you probably feel like you do.”“I don’t like taking medications, unless I have to.” Dr. Marks raised an eyebrow and looked up at me. “Look, I know this situation makes me look like a party girl or whatever, but that is not the case. I was ambushed by my friends, who appear to have abandoned me, and taken to a club. I have been dealing with some stuff and they were trying to get me out of it. What you see is not me.”“I’ll have to take your word for that, now won’t I?”“I suppose so. When can I go?”“I want to keep you for a little longer until this second bag of IV fluids gets in you. We gave you a bag when you first came in, and now this one is set to drip much slower. You are dehydrated and I suspect you haven’t been eating well lately. How about let’s check when your friend gets here. If I feel like you are ready, I will let you go then.”“Fine. OK. Thank you doctor. And about those Tylenol, may I please have them?” I closed my eyes and laid my head back.“Sure, I’ll have the nurse bring them over.” He smiled and pulled the curtain closed as he left me.I tried sleeping, but it was too bright and noisy so I only managed to doze off here and there. It was Friday night and seemed to be a busy night in the ER. A while later I heard voices coming closer to my curtain. It was nurses talking quietly in Korean. Obviously Kyun had arrived.“Did you see that gorgeous guy over there? He flew here from Atlanta for his ‘friend’.” They giggled.“Yeah, friend with benefits.”“I wish I had a guy that hot to fly across the country for me.”“That girl must have saved a country in a previous life or something.”“He has idol quality looks. I didn’t think guys like that existed in real life.” I was tired of them talking about my Kyunnie. I reached over and yanked back the curtain.“You should be careful when you talk about people. You never know who understands what you say,” I spoke in perfect Korean and they both scrambled away, apologizing. They kept their heads down as they walked past Changkyun. He was headed toward me and I saw the worry on his face. I smiled to ease the tension.“Hannah! Are you OK? What happened?” He reached for me and I raised up to hug him. I held on to him so tightly that my arms hurt.“Cliff notes version, the girls drug me out to a club. A guy wanted to dance with me and I did not return that desire. When his hands got on me I was going to take him out. I tripped on his foot and fell. I hit my head, but no concussion… thankfully. I am OK, Kyunnie. I really am.” I put my hand on his cheek to reassure him.“I couldn’t get much out of them when they called, so I caught the first flight I could get. I had to make sure my babygirl is OK.” He held my hand and looked at me closely, assuring himself I was really OK. “Where are your friends? Did they bring you?”“No, the club called an ambulance. I haven’t heard from them and I don’t know where they were when it happened.”“Some friends, huh.”“Yeah, they have really let me down. But you… you never do.” I felt tears coming again. “You really didn’t have to come….” He cut me off with a finger to my lips.“Really? You know better,” he laughed softly. I did. I knew better. “So when can you go home? They aren’t keeping you, are they?”“No, the doctor will be by soon to check on me. I have to finish this bag of fluids before they will let me go.” I looked up at the bag and it looked like it was getting low. “Hopefully not much longer.”“I got a rental, so I will drive you home. I can get someone to sub for me next week so I can stay with you.”“Changkyun. I am fine. Really.”“We’ll see. You don’t look fine.” He stroked my head and looked into my eyes. “Have you seen yourself?”“No, and I don’t care to right now. I am sure I look hideous.”“Pretty much.” I slapped his arm and he laughed. “Aside from the tear-streamed mascara and ice pack on your head, you look like you have not been well. Don’t tell me you are fine. I can see that you aren’t.”I laid my head back and closed my eyes. I held his hand tight, thankful that I was not alone. “No, Kyunnie. I am not fine. I have been a complete wreck. I was just starting to get a handle on it, and then… that video. That video crushed me,” I looked at him and my eyes were leaking again. I wiped them, “and this! This stupid crying! Why can’t I stop?”“Because your heart is broken. Love takes you as high as the sky, and it can drop you down into the pits of hell. Love is white and pure, but it can be as black as the soulless night when it is lost.”“You can be very poetic, emo boy.” We laughed and I sniffled. He handed me a tissue and I wiped my face. The doctor chose that moment to come in.“Ms. Song, how are you feeling? Better I hope?” He checked the IV and shut off the valve. He checked all the things he needed to check and said, “I think you are good to go. Let’s get you on out of here.”Soon I was in the car with Kyun and we were headed to my apartment. He had given me his hoodie to wear over my sparkly dress and I felt safe in it. We didn’t talk much on the drive. I was not really up to it, and he probably had too much to say.We got inside and he unzipped me so I could go change, then he helped me wash up. I finally saw myself and I was ashamed. I saw a face that I did not recognize. It wasn’t just the smeared makeup. It was the person. That was not Hannah Song in the mirror. I didn’t know this person, and I really did not like her. She had to go.
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I slept better for those few hours that Changkyun held me than I had in weeks. I still didn’t sleep as well as I would have liked, but it was better than it had been. We hadn’t gotten home from the hospital until after 5 AM, so we slept in Saturday morning. I woke up to find him sitting on the edge of the bed with a fresh cup of coffee, made just the way I like it. I sat up and took the hot mug from him and sipped. It tasted good. I smiled.“Thank you,” I rasped. “Coffee hasn’t tasted good in weeks. This does.” I pulled my legs up against my body and wrapped my arms around my knees, carefully holding the cup so it didn’t spill.“That’s because it is made with extra love,” he smiled and stroked my hair. “We are not doing anything today. We are just going to hang out and rest. If you have any appointments, you are canceling them or letting Heidi take care of them.” His voice was soft yet stern.“I actually do not have any today. Business has been slower than usual lately. I’ve not been at the top of my game.”“Well I am sorry about that, but I am glad you can relax today. I am going to pamper you and spoil you.”“Why are you so good to me, Kyunnie?”“Because you are the most special girl in the world to me. And you deserve to be spoiled.” He smiled and kissed the top of my head. “How about we start off with a swim. It will wake you up and make you feel refreshed.”“Sounds good, but after this coffee. And maybe another cup.” I winked at him.He held true to his word. He pampered and spoiled me. After our swim he went into the bathroom, turned on the shower, pushed me inside the room, and shut the door. When I came out, he had made a late lunch for us. After we ate, he gave me a massage, and then I took a nap. I woke up feeling refreshed, as he predicted.We went to a comedy show that night. He said I needed to laugh, and he was right. It wasn't easy at first, but after 10 minutes I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. I needed that release. I felt more like myself than I had in months when we left the comedy club.He took me to dinner at The Prince in Koreatown. I had never been even though I had lived there for a few years. The red booths and faded elegance transported me back in time. The restaurant had been the backdrop for many famous Hollywood movies and Kyun knew old Hollywood was my thing. It hadn’t always been Korean cuisine, but it was now. I ate more that night than I had probably eaten in total since Min left.Kathy called me on Monday. It was an interesting conversation, and 2 full days had passed since that night at the club.“So how was he?”“He who? What are you talking about?”“The guy you went home with. Who else?”“Oh. You mean the guy who was dancing beside me, and you all must have thought I would let him have his way with me. THAT guy?”“Yes?” she said hesitantly.“Well, the short version is this. He put his hands on me, and I ended up in the hospital when I tripped trying to defend myself.”“What? Hospital? What happened?”“Well, you might actually know the full story if you guys hadn’t abandoned me. I told you all I didn’t want to go and that I wasn’t interested in getting laid.”“Hannah, I’m…”“Let me finish. You are actually the first one to even call me after the fact. When he touched me, I was going to take him out, but my heel caught on his foot and I ended up hitting my head instead. Fast forward a few hours, my real friend, my best friend, flew here from Atlanta. He is still with me. And I am OK, in case you were wondering.”“Hannah, I am so sorry. I had no idea. None of us did.”“I know, and that is the problem. You guys are all just interested in having a good time. If you think about it, we really have a superficial friendship. We never really talk. I have been going through the worst time of my life lately, and not a single one of you has come over to check on me, to sit with me, to do anything with me. The first time you show up is to take me out to get me drunk and laid.” My voice was getting louder and I was getting angry. Kyun came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist in support.“We didn’t know you were that bad. How many times do I have to apologize?”“I am not looking for an apology. I am looking for friends who actually care about my wellbeing, not just having fun all the time. And you should have known, because I told you. You guys wanted to go out and I told you what happened. You just went on like it was nothing.”“Obviously none of us realized it was that bad.”“Obviously you didn’t look at me. Real friends would have. I saw myself in the mirror. I know how bad I looked. None of you took the time to see it… to care. Tell Chelsea I will send her money for the dress. It got ruined. I have to go now. You take care.”“Han…” I hung up. I had nothing else to say to her. I was done. She called me right back but I didn’t answer. She didn’t call again.I turned in Kyun’s arms and put my head on his chest. He held me and stroked my back.“My brave Merida. That took guts to let them go. I am proud of you.”“Now I have zero friends out here. I have Heidi, that’s it. She is my employee, not my friend.”“You are purging negativity. Clean slate.”“Yeah. Clean slate.”“I like your hair, by the way.”“Well that came out of left field,” I said as I pulled back to look at him.“Not really. Clean slate, new hair. It ties together.”“I suppose so.”“It looks good though.”“Thanks, Kyunnie.” Changkyun stayed with me for the week while I worked, even against my protests. I hated taking him away from his students so early in the year, but he was as stubborn as me so there was no convincing him otherwise. I really did appreciate him being there though. I felt like I was regaining control. By the end of the week, I felt like I could keep going. He got me out of my tailspin and helped me get back on track. He was not just my best friend, he was my guardian angel.The wedding was in 2 weeks and I was going a week early. Heidi convinced me to take the extra time to spend with my family. She knew I had been on the verge of a breakdown and was worried. When she found out about the “incident” she practically insisted. I knew I needed the break, so I agreed. I changed my ticket and flew back with Changkyun.I was holding myself together much better than I had been, but I also hadn’t seen Minhyuk yet. I was glad I came early because I was able to help Clara get ready. Mom was over the moon about the wedding and Connor was thrilled to be getting a “new dad”.I had watched Hyungwon with Connor almost as much as I had watched Min with him. He was so good with him and was going to be an amazing dad. We were having dinner one night and Connor just looked at him for several seconds. His little head was slightly cocked and you could see he was thinking about something.“Uncle Wonnie? Since you are marrying mommy, would it be OK if I call you Daddy?” Connor asked and shocked us all. I saw tears well up in Clara’s eyes and when she smiled they trickled down onto her cheeks.“I would be honored if you would call me Daddy, Connor.” Hyungwon patted his head and smiled at him. Connor’s ear to ear grin was priceless.“But I am not starting until the wedding. Until then, you are still Uncle Wonnie,” Connor added matter of factly. We all laughed. One week to go and we were getting the patio ready. Clara was very excited and wanted it to hurry and arrive. We were hanging lights and she told me she had some news to tell me.“Are you pregnant?” I asked.“No, not that,” she laughed. “But we do want to have a baby. Connor said he is excited to get a little brother or sister. But no, that isn’t it. Wonnie is going to leave the firm and start his own practice.”“That is exciting! Will you go with him?”“No. That is the other part. I am leaving the firm… and law all together. Remember how for years now Dad has been talking about quitting catering and opening his own venue so he can make sure everything is always perfect? Well, he is finally going to do it, and I am going to work with him. Partners actually. I am going to be his partner.”I was stunned and had to let my brain catch up. “But you have always wanted to be a lawyer. Are you sure this is what you want?”“Absolutely. These past few months have been an eye opener for me. I realized how much of my life was spent with my job, and how little with Connor. And when we have a baby, I want to actually be able to be a mom. Family is what matters.” Her words struck me deeper than I let on.“But aren’t you terrified? It is such a drastic change, both of you doing this at the same time…”“It is totally terrifying!” she laughed. “But exciting too. Dad taught us how to save and invest, and that is what I have been doing. Wonnie has done the same for years. We are secure. I have thought about this a lot and I am positive it is what is right for me and my family.”“And when did Dad decide to actually do that? I know he has threatened it for years, every time he has to set up in less than ideal situations.”“He mentioned it during Connor’s birthday party. You may not have been able to hear on video. But let’s face it, you haven’t been all that engaged when we talk for a while.” She nudged me.“That is true, and I am sorry. I have not been myself lately. But I am working on that now. Anyway, cheers to new beginnings!” I raised my bottle of water and she did the same. We toasted to her new life.“Now maybe we can get my little sister straightened out.” She bumped her shoulder against mine and laughed.“Little sister is a mess. Although I am doing a little better the past couple of weeks. It was touch and go there for a while.”“I am glad you are pulling it together. Have you thought about what you will do? I mean, are you thinking of coming home?”“I just… I don’t feel like I am done out there. I need to show Mom and Dad I can make it.”“Mom and Dad know you can. You have already shown them that. What does success look like to you? A chain of event shops? Not even sure if that’s a thing, but you get my point. What is it that you feel will make you successful? It seems to all of us that you are.”I couldn’t answer her question. I just stared blankly at her as my mind searched for the answer. “Honestly Clara, I don’t know. I have just always pushed myself to do better. To do more. When I hit a level, I push to the next. I haven’t decided where I would stop. I have been through hell the past few months and don’t even know what I am doing from day to day. I feel more like a failure than a success.”“Maybe you just had to go through that to realize some things and to get your priorities in order. That is basically what happened to me. I was forced to slow down and reexamine my life. Actually, I had to stop, not slow down. Do you think you will be satisfied now? Going back to the way things have been?”“I really don’t think so… but what can I do? I have Heidi, I have my repeat clients, I have my frie… scratch that last one. I fired them. I don’t feel like I have a direction now. I don’t know what to do.”“Now… you live.”After my conversation with Clara, I was even more conflicted about my situation. Was I being too ‘safe’ by not even considering other options? Would Minhyuk even still want me if I came back? What kind of mess would I be creating if I did that? What about Heidi? There were lots of questions in my head. Too many to answer right then.I was trying to adjust to the time difference again and my sleep pattern was way off anyway because of the past 3 months. I wandered bleary-eyed into the kitchen just after 5 the next morning. I made my coffee and sat on the couch next to Mom. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and I cuddled up next to her. I had missed this so much and I got a bit teary.“Creena, what’s going on with you?” she asked softly as she stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head.“I’ve just missed you. I’ve been a little emotional lately is all.”“That’s not what I meant. I can see your heart is broken and your spirit has been crushed. It hurts me to see you like this. I want to fix it, but I know I can’t.” Once again, her intuition and perceptiveness got me. I sniffled and she kept going. “If this was your damnable Irish pride again, you need to get over it. Suck it up and apologize.”I sat up and looked at her, “Mommy, why would you assume it was me?”“I see how much he is hurting too. And I see how he still looks at you. He wasn’t the one to cause this.” I could not deny that and lowered my gaze. I played with the edge of my cup while she talked. “Creena, you are so much like your father. He was so stubborn and proud that he could not admit when he was wrong. It ended up costing him his life.” I looked at her and saw pain in her eyes. “You have to know how proud me and your Dad are of you. You made a name for yourself, you built a successful business on your own. But Hannah, is finding the gold worth losing the rainbow?”“What do you mean?”“I mean you have true love and a chance for real happiness right in the palm of your hand. Is having your business out there worth losing him?” She took my hand in both of hers and squeezed it. A tear fell to my cheek and I looked up at her.“Mommy, I love him so much.”“Then fix it. You have the power to make things right.”“But what if he doesn’t want me anymore? What if I hurt him too bad?”“Creena, trust him. Trust his love for you.” She smiled softly and I laid my head on her shoulder. She held me while I cried. I knew what I needed to do.Later while I was showering, I was anxious to see Min’s reaction to seeing me for the first time since the break-up. Then I needed to do some research. This wasn’t something to just jump into. I felt scared and excited. I also felt hopeful. It felt good. After the spiral I had been on, I would take hope. Hope was good.The night of the rehearsal dinner I knew I would see him and I was nervous. Would he be happy to see me? Would he be angry? Distant? I knew he had been in as much pain as I had because of what I saw on the video. The video. Just thinking about it made me want to cry. It reminded me that I had caused that pain, and the guilt almost brought me to my knees.I steeled myself against the pain and guilt and kept setting the table. It was the usual crew, the family and the guys, plus an extra guest, Father Patrick, who would be performing the ceremony. But tonight was different. Friends were becoming family. I smiled at that thought. My big sister was getting married.Mom called from the kitchen and I went to see what she needed. She smiled and patted my cheek. “Creena, would you call everyone together? Dinner is ready. I think your sister is upstairs with the boys. The others are on the patio.”As I went to find Clara, the doorbell rang. Wonnie was upstairs with Clara and Connor and everyone else was on the patio. There were only 2 people that could be, Minhyuk or Mom’s priest. I smoothed my hair and took a deep breath as I went to the door. Trembling, I opened it with a smile.“Hannah! How are ya, mah dear?” Father Patrick hugged me as he came inside. I felt relief and disappointment. I led him to Mom and went to collect Clara and ‘the boys’.When I got to Connor’s bedroom door, I saw them in a family huddle and it was adorable. I told them it was time to eat and then headed back downstairs. Father Patrick was laughing at something Mom had said. I went outside to round everyone up and was beginning to worry that Minhyuk wouldn't show.I stepped outside to call everyone to dinner and stopped in my tracks. He was standing beside Kyun. My heart stopped and then began to pound. My breath caught and I almost choked. No one had noticed me standing there yet and I started to run back inside, but I stopped myself. This was the moment of truth.I took a deep breath and took a step towards them, but I stopped when he turned and saw me. I saw pain flash across his face, but then he smiled. It wasn’t a huge smile, but it wasn’t fake either. I smiled back and kept walking towards him. We stood awkwardly in front of each other and Kyun pushed us together. He said, “don’t make it awkward for the rest of us. Just hug. Okay?”We hugged, cautiously at first, then full arms and body contact. We held each other for a second then pulled back. I didn’t want to let go. We exchanged a look, then both diverted our eyes. It felt good to hold him, but it hurt too.After dinner, we were discussing the ceremony and figuring out where everyone would stand, what they would do, etc. While Father Patrick was talking to the happy couple, the rest of us stood and chatted. Min was standing close since we were going to be up next. Connor came up beside us.“I am 7 now!” He proclaimed proudly.“I know! Thank you for letting me be at your party,” I laughed since I had been there by video. He giggled. “You are growing up so fast.” I stroked his head and he smiled.“He is the smartest second grader I know,” Min commented. “I miss having you in my class, Connor.”“I miss it too, but Ms. Phillips is pretty cool. She is funny.”“Yes, she is funny. And a very good teacher. You should be very happy in her class.” Min ruffled the little dude’s hair. Connor stood and looked back and forth between us, contemplating something.“Mommy said you broke up. I don’t understand.” He took our hands, one in each of his, and waited for one of us to speak. We looked at each other. I wasn’t sure what to say, but Min spoke first.“Well Connor, it means that Aunt Hannah and I are not a couple anymore.”“I am seven. I know what ‘broke up’ means,” he rolled his eyes at us. “I mean I don’t understand why.” Now I really didn’t know what to say. Min looked at me and tilted his head to the side as if to say, ‘your turn’.I sighed and crouched down in front of Connor so that we were eye to eye. “Well, sometimes adults aren’t that smart and we do stupid things.”“Stupid is not a nice word, Auntie Hannah.”“You are right, it is not a nice word. But sometimes it is the right word.” I looked up at Minhyuk as I said it. His expression softened and I saw a sparkle in his eyes that had not been there earlier. “Stupid is the right word this time.”“Then fix it. If it was stupid, then make it smart.” He shrugged his tiny shoulders as if it were just that simple. I hugged him and wished it were.During rehearsal, we had to walk the aisle together, arm in arm. It felt natural and right. When we separated at the front, we shared a look and then the bride and groom joined us. I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to stand with him as the main feature. I pushed the thought from my mind and focused on my role as maid of honor.After rehearsal was finished, Father Patrick left and Dad called everyone back to the patio for drinks and a toast. He gave a little speech about how proud he was of his oldest daughter making the choices she had made and making a better life for her family. He said that he wished that happiness for his youngest as well and raised his glass to me. I caught a quick shift of his eyes to Minhyuk and then back to me. I wasn’t even sure if he knew he did it. I felt Min’s eyes on me and looked at him. He had a soft smile on his face.Most of the guys left, just Kyun and Min remained. They were talking to Dad. I walked over to check on what appeared to be a burnt-out bulb in the lights we had strung earlier. I messed with it and it came back on. It was just loose in its socket. I stood looking at the area, thinking of how it would be the next night during the ceremony. I felt movement and turned around to find Minhyuk behind me. I had the urge to throw my arms around him but held back. It wasn’t the right time.“Hannah, you look beautiful tonight. Are you doing okay?” He asked, his voice low and soft with concern.“Define OK,” my smile was tight lipped. “I wasn’t, but I am trying. Are you doing okay?”“Pretty much the same description applies to me.” He took my hand in his. “I need to say something important, and this seems like a good time.” I tensed, not knowing what he was about to say. “Cheonsa, I want you to know that I understand why you made the decision that you did. But I also believe that we belong together. I want you to know…” he paused and took a deep breath before continuing, “I want you to know that I will wait for you. I am not going to pressure you. You are my someone and I will wait for you. I will be here when you are ready. And this is to remind you of that when you think about me.” He opened his hand and there was a small gold Claddah ring in his palm. I looked at him with sheer surprise on my face.He took the ring and held it up. The gold glinted in the string lights and beckoned me to put it on. I lifted my hand instinctively and he slipped in onto my finger. It fit perfectly. He smiled and kissed the back of my hand. He lifted my chin and looked deep into my eyes… into my soul. He lowered his head and his lips lightly brushed mine. I felt like my knees were going to give out. He pulled back just enough so that I could focus on his face and then he smiled. I closed my eyes in anticipation of another kiss, but when I opened them, he was gone. I turned to find him. He was saying goodbye to my parents. He waved to Wonnie and Clara and said he would see them tomorrow. And then he disappeared from my sight. Again.
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The song Minhyuk sang in this chapter is Broken Heart by Monsta X. There are a few translations, but the one I used is from here: https://genius.com/Genius-english-translations-monsta-x-broken-heart-english-translation-lyrics
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I was staying at Kyun’s house since the wedding was happening at my parent’s house. Clara and Connor had already moved their stuff into Hyungwon’s house. They were still at Mom and Dad’s until the wedding, per Connor’s request. He wanted everything to go in the “proper” order.Hyungwon’s parents had flown in from Korea and were staying at a nice hotel nearby. They said it would be better if they did not stay with him, so that everyone could have their privacy. They were in love with both Connor and Clara, and that feeling was mutual. Connor ended up staying a couple of nights with them.Hyungwon and Clara had been taking them around the city for the past week, letting them get to know her a little bit. Up to then, they had only talked on the phone and video.I woke up early the next morning, before Kyun did. It was Clara’s wedding day and I was already exhausted. I eased out of bed so I wouldn’t disturb him and went to make coffee. I checked my phone and she had texted me already. She hadn’t slept and had dark circles under her eyes. She asked me to come help. I replied that I would be there around lunchtime like we had decided, and that she needed to settle down.I put on Kyun’s robe and went out on the balcony with my coffee. There was a chill in the air, but nothing too bad. It actually felt great to me and the air smelled clean and fresh. The dew was beginning to rise and the light and shadows of the dawn played against the mist, turning Kyun’s backyard into some kind of ethereal realm. I sat mesmerized by the display.Soon I was joined by an almost naked man. He had on the shorts he had slept in. His arms were wrapped around his body and he mentioned a missing robe. I pretended not to know anything about it and shrugged my purple robe clad shoulders. He shot me a look and went back inside. He came back with a hoodie and sweatpants… and coffee.We talked for a while and watched the sun rise higher and higher in the sky, as it burned off the fog. Migrating birds were flying overhead and took a rest in some nearby trees. The neighbor’s dog started barking and running in their direction and scared them away. A kitty wandered through Kyun’s yard on his way to some unknown adventure. It was all so normal. I wanted this life.“I screwed up, didn’t I?”“Yes, I think you did.”“Can I fix it?”“I believe you can.”“How?”“Sacrifice. You have to give up what you think you want to get what you need.”“Hmf. How are you so wise?”“Emo boy, remember?” He winked at me.“It sounds so simple. But it really is complicated.”“Simple is not always easy.”“You are on a roll this morning,” I rolled my eyes at him as I finished off my coffee. “I am going to hit the shower. I need to get to Clara before she has a meltdown.“I’ll get in when you get done. Unless you want help… I would be happy to scrub your back.” He was always ready to help.“Thanks, but I am good.” I gave him a peck and went to the shower. I dressed in comfy clothes and planned to change into my dress later. We were going to set up the “bride’s room” in the bonus room. All guests were asked to enter through the back gate to enter directly into the designated area. I hung up my dress bag and set my things on the table as Connor ran over for a hug.“Are you excited? Today is a big day!” I asked him.“I am! I get a new daddy today!” He smiled and did a little happy dance for me. I joined him.“Let’s go find everyone.”“I know where they are, follow me,” he took my hand and led me to the patio. Dad was futzing with a strand of lights that had fallen during the night and Mom and Clara were helping.“How many Songs does it take to change a light bulb?” I asked in jest.“Dad is concentrating, shush.” Mom shot me a look and then hugged me.“Apparently 5, because all of us are here now,” Dad joked as he came off of the ladder. “All fixed. That branch was just a little too weak to hold the weight.” He gave me a hug then closed up the ladder.We did a final run over all the other lights to make sure no others had fallen or were loose. Mom reminded us we were going out for dinner after the wedding, ALL of us. And Clara was anxious and excited. Connor was just Connor. We went back inside to prepare to get the bride ready.I checked my hair and lipstick in the mirror one last time and smoothed my dress. I turned to my sister and almost started crying. She looked absolutely radiant. Her dress was perfect, her hair was perfect, her heart was perfect. She stood in the middle of the room, her small bouquet wrapped with the piece of Mom’s wedding dress in one hand, and the overskirt of her dress in the other.She looked at me and smiled, the smile of perfect happiness. The one that comes from deep inside and bubbles its way to your face. I felt a deep need for that myself. I smiled as I fingered my Claddah ring.“Well, this is it. My days of being single are over. Thankfully!” She giggled.“Those days have been over for a while. You are just making it official,” I stated with a wink.Mom came over and held both our hands. “My girls are so beautiful. I love that your Dad is here, but times like this are when I wish your father could be here. He would be so proud.” She had tears in her eyes. She rarely mentioned our biological father. We didn’t really remember him and Dad had been an amazing father, so we just accepted him as the real deal. This was he second time she had mentioned him during my visit. I felt like he was there with us.When she had those moments, you could see how much it had hurt her losing him. She and Clara shared a bond in that way that I could never understand. I didn’t want to understand it. Mom hugged us and we had to stop ourselves before we messed up the makeup we had spent so long perfecting.Connor poked his head around the corner and said, “it is time Mommy! Are you coming? Uncle Won… Daddy is waiting!”“Yes, baby, I am coming.” One last touch up with a tissue and she was ready.Mom and I headed down first. Dad was going to come and walk her out. Mom went out and took her seat. Min was waiting by the door for me, and I suddenly needed oxygen. He looked more handsome than usual in his suit. His hair was back to black and he was simply breathtaking. Hyungwon had gone with a less traditional style and Min had followed his suggestion. Instead of tuxedos, they wore black and white suits with touches of lace. They were very romantic looking, with an 80’s feel to them. The style blended perfectly with Clara’s dress.We were up to walk next. I smiled at him and he smiled back. He held out his arm and I hooked mine in it. He leaned close to my ear and whispered, “you look beautiful, Cheonsa.”“I melted a little and responded, “so do you.” He laughed softly. We walked onto the patio and I spotted Kyun smiling like a proud father as we walked by. We split off at the front and took our spots. Hyungwon was anxiously watching the door as Connor came next carrying the rings. He took his place and then Dad walked Clara down the aisle. She looked like a princess. Hyungwon’s parents were beaming.You could clearly see how much Hyungwon was in love with her. His face spoke volumes. The closer she got, the bigger his smile got. She handed me her bouquet and I glanced at Minhyuk. He was looking at me and our eyes locked.I fingered the Claddah ring on my finger and a vision of us getting married fluttered to life in my mind. I quickly looked away and he grinned as if he knew what I was thinking. It felt right. It felt like this was where I belonged.During the ceremony, I had to force myself to pay attention to what was going on so that I didn’t miss my queue. My big sister was getting married and all I could do was look at the man to whom I had said no. I felt regret so strongly that I wanted to cry. I had hurt him. I had hurt us both. He had not done anything wrong. He did not deserve what I had done to him.He caught me looking at him and he looked concerned. My face must have reflected my thoughts, as it usually does, so I made myself smile instead. He relaxed, but kept an eye on me. I wrinkled my nose a little to show him I was good, and he smiled a little bigger. We turned our attention back to the bride and groom just in time to hear Hyungwon’s vows to Connor. I wasn’t expecting that and it almost brought me to tears.“Connor, I am honored to take the role of “daddy” in your life. I promise to treat you with respect and to protect you. I promise to be fair and to always hear your side. I promise to give you and your mother a happy home. I promise to be the best daddy I can be.” Connor was smiling and crying at the same time, just like the rest of us.Father Patrick asked for the rings. Connor presented a beautiful pillow with the rings tied to it. Mom had given it to Clara when she said she was getting married. She’d had it made from her dress at the same time she had our flower bands made.When it was time to kiss the bride, Wonnie took Clara in his arms and kissed her sweetly. Then he kissed her much more passionately, dipping her and holding her inches off the ground. The guests hooted and cheered, all 20 of them.The guys had all brought dates, so all of us single females gathered to catch the bouquet. Clara was a stickler for tradition, and I didn’t mind at all. I was a bit that way myself. She had promised she wouldn’t aim for anyone specifically and she didn’t even look to see where we were each standing. Anna was next to me, smiling and acting anxious. I got distracted by Kihyun’s date who was on the other side of me. She was stunning and completely flawless, as one would expect. I didn’t see when the bouquet was launched, but I felt it hit me in the face.My reflexes kicked in and I caught it before it fell to the ground. I was shocked and people around me cheered. I looked up and saw the guys all grinning at me. I swear Min winked, but that could have been the dim lighting playing tricks on me. Clara hugged me and laughed apologetically. Anna pouted openly.Next was the garter. Like I said, she liked the traditions. I had decorated a chair with ribbon and flowers for this moment. Clara sat and inched up her dress just enough to show her calf. Wonnie knelt in front of her and lifted her leg so that he could kiss her shin. She blushed and the rest of us cheered. He reached under the long skirt and found the garter. From Clara’s reaction, it could have been debated that he found something else while under there, but we will let that be a secret kept between them.He pulled it slowly down her leg and then off over her shoe, caressing her calf all the way. His eyes never left hers. Mine kept looking over at Minhyuk. The guys all gathered now for their turn. Min started to walk to me, but Kyun pulled him back. Wonnie flipped the stretchy piece of lace backwards and it headed right for Minhyuk and Changkyun. They both caught it because of how it hit their arms. All the guys erupted in laughter. Min looked at me with that little sheepish smile and big eyes and shrugged his shoulders. I just laughed. Anna squealed with delight, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her she wasn’t the one. Kyun would have told me if she was.Clara and Hyungwon were greeting the few guests they had invited while I helped Dad move the cake out to the patio. I stood there for a moment and made sure everything was in place. The cake was small but perfect. It was decorated with silver and red sugar roses and ribbon.It was a little cooler than we had expected and my bare shoulders were cold. I was holding my arms and rubbing them when a warm jacket was placed over them. I looked up to find Minhyuk smiling beside me. I pulled the jacket closer around me and thanked him for it. He touched the gold ring he had given me when he saw I was wearing it. His expression brightened and eyes sparkled.Clara and Wonnie came to cut the cake, so Min and I stepped aside for the photographer to do his job and capture the moment. He had been all over the place, taking photos of everything. Kiki had been taking photos too. He had volunteered to be the official photographer, but Clara didn’t want him “working”, she wanted him to be a guest. He behaved during the ceremony, but before and after it he was shooting everything. They were guaranteed to have tons of beautiful photos.They didn’t do speeches because they were saving that for the party the following night, but they did have a couple dance. Clara chose “Fly Me To The Moon” by Frank Sinatra as their wedding song. They wanted something less sappy and more fun. It worked. As the guests began to leave, Min helped Dad bring in the chairs and then looked for more things to do, as if he were stalling. The guys had dates, so they had all left to take them home.When there was nothing else to do, he came over and just stood in front of me. Neither of us spoke, but our eyes were having a whole conversation of their own. There was so much I wanted to say, but I couldn’t get any to come out. He reached up and played with a strand of my hair.“It is pretty. I like it.” I had forgotten that I had cut and colored my hair.“Thanks. I’m not so sure about it, but I guess it is OK.”“Hannah, you would be beautiful even if you were bald,” he laughed and I thanked him for the compliment. “I should probably get going. I’ll see you tomorrow at the party?”“Yeah, Dad and I will be there early setting up.”“You need to get some rest. You look tired.” If only he knew how tired I was.“I will. You do the same, kay?” It was fairly superficial conversation, but it was at least something. He kissed my cheek and I gave him his jacket back. I could still smell his scent on me as I walked inside. I made the decision right then that I would not cry that night. I knew he still loved me and that I had not totally lost him. That was something to rejoice about. I just had to figure out my next steps.I didn’t cry, but I didn’t sleep much either. I kept playing scenarios over and over in my head all night. How could I work this out? Should I look into opening a second office here and fly back and forth? That idea was not appealing to me. At all. Should I just let the LA office go and open a whole new business in Atlanta? That seemed like a bad idea too. I was established in LA, and I had built a reputation for myself. No matter what idea I came up with, there was always something against it.I think I finally went to sleep around 3 AM. Naturally, he starred in my dreams, but this time they weren’t dark themed. It was a relief to not wake up with crusty eyes. I was tired, but an extra cup of coffee would help that.Dad and I went over to the venue a few hours early. We needed to get it ready for the party. Clara and Wonnie spent their first night at his house, which was now their house. Connor stayed with Mom and Dad. I stayed in Clara’s room. I missed Kyun, but Anna was there so it would have been weird to stay with him.After we finished setting up, Dad handed me a bottle of water and sat beside me.“Hannah, I know Clara told you I finally made the decision to hang up the catering business and open my own venue. It will be an all-inclusive event hall, loosely based on the wedding venues in Korea. We won’t handle the attire, just everything else.”“Yep, she did. I am thrilled for you! I think you will really be successful. Have you found a location yet?”“I did. I found a farmhouse about 20 minutes north of here. It has a lot of acreage, and the grounds have a ton of potential. It was a horse farm until a couple of years ago. It has been vacant since then, so they were willing to negotiate on the price. I want to knock out a couple of walls, update the fixtures, paint, and put in more bathrooms. My contractor says he can get it all done in about 6-8 months.”“That is great. You’ll be ready for wedding season.” I laughed. Weddings are generally booked months, sometimes years, in advance. There was no guarantee everything would be ready and functioning properly in time, so he wouldn’t really be able to pre-book. “I don’t know how much help I would be, but I will do as much as I can. Just ask, OK?”“That is what I wanted to talk to you about. I didn’t ask her to, but Clara decided to invest in this new thing, and she is coming to work with me. That got me to thinking… Sweetheart, what would you think about moving back home and working with your dad and sister? I could really use your skills and talent. It has always been a dream in the back of my mind to have you girls back with me again. I never told you because I wanted you both to find your own paths, and you have done that. But I am getting older now, and I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask.” I opened my mouth to speak, but he said he wasn’t finished with his sales pitch.“I will handle the food and bar side, Clara is going to handle the bookkeeping and legal stuff, remember she minored in accounting. And she will help out where needed. I was thinking you could handle the other side. We will have Charlie and Michelle, and we can hire someone for you.” He was pacing back and forth, talking it out. “I know it will be successful, but it is going to start out slow probably, so we will all have to be prepared for leaner times. You could stay here with us since Clara and Connor have moved out. You’ll have all the privacy you need. You know we will stay out of your business.” He finally came up for air and stopped in front of me. “I know that was a lot to digest. I don’t expect you to answer right now. I know you need to process it all. But I do want you to at least consider…”Normally, I am not an impulsive person. I need to weigh the pros and cons, play with scenarios, figure out the money, etc. “Yes. I will do it!” The words were out of my mouth before I realized it. I held my hands to my mouth in shock. Dad took my hands away from my face and held them in his as he smiled at me.“Hannah, as much as I want that, I also know you. I see you doubting your decision already. You need to evaluate this offer before you jump on it. Sweetheart, take a few days. Weigh it out. Run your calculations. Make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Then make your decision. OK? Promise me?” He bent his knees so he could be eye to eye with me.“OK, I promise,” I nodded and felt a sense of relief. “But Dad, you had a very good sales pitch,” I grinned at him. He was right that I needed time. I was grateful for the chance he was giving me to think it over. But one thing kept repeating over and over in my head. If I did this, I could be with Minhyuk. He had already said he was waiting for me. This could be the answer to everything.
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We had been jokingly calling the reception party the “after party”, even though it was happening the day after the wedding. It was definitely a break from tradition, especially for Clara, but the timing worked out better. She had wanted the wedding in the evening and the party earlier in the day. She and Hyungwon were leaving for Buenos Aires early the next morning and they didn’t want to be up til the wee hours of the morning. Dad, Mom, and I were working on getting it all ready when suddenly 6 gorgeous men appeared in the backyard, volunteering to help in any way they could. Clara, Hyungwon, and Connor were off doing something fun as a new family… a trip to the zoo. They let Connor pick.My heart fluttered when I saw Minhyuk, but I tried not to let it show. My mind was still spinning from Dad’s offer, but now wasn’t the time to discuss that with Min. I still had a business, an employee, and all the things to deal with. No, I wasn’t going to tell him what I was thinking about doing. Not just yet.With the extra hands, it didn’t take any time at all to get it all ready. When Dad had redone the downstairs and patio, he had an outdoor kitchen built. The house was on a bit of a hill, so he had the landscapers terrace it and create smaller landings around the yard. We added Tiki torches to provide atmosphere, and in summer they would help keep the mosquitoes away.When they were designing the layout, Mom had requested different flowers and shrubs that would bloom year round. We were in the fall season, so there were Autumn Crocus, Blue Mist Shrub, Japanese Anemone, New York Aster, and Russian Sage to name a few. There was always an explosion of color in the yard, just the way she liked it.Those blooms had provided a beautiful backdrop for the wedding. That was why Clara wanted to have her ceremony there. It was very much just for the family and their closest friends. And the party was going to be for everyone, even the neighbors. They decided to keep the menu simple and more like a summer cookout. Burgers, hot dogs, and some barbecue along with all the sides and fixins (yep, that’s a word. Look it up.). It was a party, after all.We went inside to Dad’s new bar and he made a test pitcher of his “famous” Margaritas. We only had about an hour before the guests were going to start arriving. He had hired a driver and van to shuttle the guests so they could park at the neighborhood clubhouse and not block the road and driveway. The HOA frowns on that.The guests of honor arrived, so Mom and I went upstairs to change for the party. We had both just worn kick-around clothes since we thought we would be doing a lot more outside. I picked a sundress with a blue and white water pattern that hit just above my knees. I added a short denim jacket and white slip-on sneakers.My hair was kinda going crazy from being out in the humidity, so I tamed it by putting it up in a messy bun. Dainty gold earrings, a dab of perfume behind my ears, and a little tinted lipgloss finished it off. I stopped to look at the Claddah ring and caught myself missing him… again. I sighed and started to go downstairs. Connor came to the door to escort me down. He was such a little gentleman.“Auntie Hannah, are you coming back home? Mommy said she hoped you were. I wasn’t supposed to hear. She was talking to Unc… Daddy.” He corrected himself with a giggle.“Maybe. I am thinking about it.” Hearing myself say it out loud made it feel more real.“It would be so awesome if you do! Then we can see each other all the time! And maybe you and Uncle Minhyuk won’t have to be broke up anymore.” His innocent little face looked up at me with such hope. I wanted to squeeze him so tight and never let go.“Uncle Minhyuk? When did you start calling him that?” I stroked his hair.“When he wasn’t my teacher anymore and was your boyfriend. Is it OK?”“Yes, sweetie, it is OK.”Clara and I helped Mom bring out the platters with the food on it while Dad was firing up the grill and getting ready. Dad was excited to get to use his new toys. Charlie and Michelle were helping out as well.The shuttle driver made 4 trips and got the guests. He waited for a couple that said they were running late, then Dad invited him to stay and join in while he waited to take them back in a few hours. He ate a hot dog and said he had another job to do, but would be back at their prearranged time.After everyone had eaten, we pulled some tables off to the side to make room for a dance floor. He opened the bar and we poured margaritas, wine, and beer. It was time for Dad to give his father of the bride speech. It was a hit with the crowd. Then Minhyuk and I spoke, as the Best Man and Maid of Honor. I almost broke down in the middle of my speech and had to hand off the mic to Mom. She brought the house to its knees. There wasn’t a dry eye left when she was done.Minhyuk made a joke about her being a hard act to follow, but managed to bring the mood back up with his sparkling personality. His sense of humor was incredible and he had them rolling with laughter by the time he finished. Clara took Connor to put him to bed until they were ready to go home.We turned on the music and by that time, people were loosened up and ready to dance. I was one of them. I was in a safe space now, and the last time I danced in public was a distant memory. I grabbed Minhyuk and Changkyun both by the hand and drug them onto the stone patio. They protested, but went along with it. We danced to 2 or 3 songs. It felt like prom night again. I was having fun for the first time in a long time.A slower song came on and Kyun pushed us together and left the floor. We were put on the spot and didn’t want to make a scene, so we danced. I felt at home in his arms. I let my guard down and whispered, “I have missed you so much.”“I have missed you too, Cheonsa. More than you can ever know.”“Can you be patient with me just a little longer?”He held my hands between us and kissed the ring he gave me, “I already told you I would. I will be right here.” The song ended and another fast one started up. We got jostled by some other guests and moved off the floor. We spent the rest of the evening exchanging secret glances.After the guests had all been shuttled back to their cars, the guys stayed and helped with clean up. It was getting cool and I was ready to go inside. Mom and Dad went on to bed and I hung out with the guys. Dad had put a pool table in when he did the renovation, so they started a game. I wanted to change into more comfy clothes, so I excused myself to go upstairs.Just as I had taken off my jacket, there was a knock on my door. I opened it and Minhyuk stood there. I had the sudden urge to pounce on him. Maybe it was the hunger in his eyes, or maybe it was just the longing I felt, but I didn’t stop him when he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.“Hannah, I… I shouldn’t be here.” He shook his head and started to turn around. I put my hand on his arm and stopped him.“What is it?” I asked softly.“This,” he took my face in his hands and kissed me. I lost all sense of reality. I was absorbed in his taste, his scent, the way his lips felt on mine, the way my body reacted to him. It all came rushing back and a sound came out of me, it was almost a whimper.I hadn’t even felt us moving backwards, but I was up against the wall and we were still kissing. It was fevered and intense, as if we hadn’t eaten for days and were given a 4 course meal. He lifted my leg and I wrapped it around his hip as his lips traveled down my neck.“I wanted to remind you…” his voice trailed off as he looked into my eyes.“Minhyuk,” I whispered his name as I clung to him. The pain of the past few months came flooding back and I suddenly broke into tears. “I am so sorry that I hurt you.” I held onto him so tightly that I thought I would break him.“Shhhh, Cheonsa. It’s OK.”“No, it isn’t OK. It isn’t OK at all.” I shook my head as the tears streamed down my face. He captured my face in his hands and made me look at him.“Hannah, listen to me. Yes, these past few months have been hard. Probably the hardest I’ve ever had,” I interrupted with a whimper, but he just put his finger against my lips and continued. “But they have shown me that what I feel for you is real. My feelings are true and they are deep. That is why I said I would wait for you, and I will. I will wait until you are ready to come home to me.” He stopped talking and just looked at me. “Hannah, I love you. Nothing is going to change that. Nothing.”With every fiber of my being, I wanted nothing more in that moment than to be with him. I listened to my heart for once, instead of my head. “Minmin… I am ready. I love you so much. I can’t handle being away from you. I am ready.” I felt relief. I understood what he meant by knowing the depth of his feelings, because it suddenly became clear that I felt that way too. I knew I would be dealing with the consequences of my spontaneity, but I didn’t care. I loved this man more than I could ever say. I knew I was doing the right thing.“Hannah, don’t play with me,” his voice was barely above a whisper and full of emotion. He lifted my chin with his finger and I didn’t look away.“I am not. I am going to trust my heart for once. I love you and I have never been more sure of anything. These past months have been the hardest ever, and I can’t go back to that. I don’t want you to go back to that.”“Cheonsa, you have just made me the happiest man in the world.” He smiled and a tear fell to his cheek. I reached up and wiped it away. He had done that too many times for me already.“Minmin, stay with me tonight.”“In your bedroom? In your parents house? With them home?” He raised an eyebrow.I giggled, “yes. I need to hold you. I don’t know how long it will take to work everything out so I can move back.”“OK, but we’ll need to be very quiet.”“I didn’t say we were having sex, silly man.” I laughed, knowing full well that we would.“As long as we are together, I don’t care.” He held my face in his hands and kissed me. I believed him.“I also didn’t say we wouldn’t.” I captured his lips with mine and slid his jacket off his shoulders. I felt him smile against my lips. “And my parents’ bedroom is downstairs on the opposite side of the house. We can make a little noise.” I nipped his chin and he growled as he kissed me.Suddenly my feet were off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me to the bed and we fell backwards. He laid beside me with his hand on my hip and we just looked at each other.“I can’t believe I finally have you in my arms again. They have ached for you. You are my someone, Hannah. My heart and my soul belong to you.” He pulled my head against his chest and just held me. We fell asleep like that. We spent the night in each other’s arms, fully clothed.We woke up just before 5 and he slipped out the front door without waking anyone. Mom would be up soon, and we agreed it would be much less awkward for him to not be there when she got up. He would come back for dinner later. I laid there smiling until I heard Mom downstairs. I changed into my comfy clothes and went down to have coffee with her.“Good morning, Creena,” she said in a very cheerful tone.“Good morning, Mommy,” my tone was equally cheerful, perhaps even a little dreamy. I kissed her on the cheek and made my coffee. She was smiling when I sat down.“He could have stayed for breakfast.”“What? What do you…” I gave up. She was just too good. “It would have been weird.”“You went up to change and we didn’t see either of you again. You weren’t exactly discreet.” I felt my face flush. “He stayed before and it was fine.”“We were just friends then, and Kyunnie was here. Last night was… different. We actually didn’t do anything, but it was different.”“Well that is surprising. So are you back together?”“Yes, we are,” my face almost split in half from the smile.“I was beginning to wonder if you would ever come to your senses. I knew I didn’t raise a dunce.” I tried to hide my shocked face, but failed. She laughed.Clara and Hyungwon came by to drop Connor off and to say goodbye on their way to the airport. The little dude was wide awake when he got there and was chattering a mile a minute. He told us about his trip to the zoo… again… and how he loved having Wonnie as his dad. It was precious. Mom made his pancakes and I walked Clara back out to the car. She didn’t want to leave Connor for 2 weeks, but she wanted to be with her new husband. I knew how she felt, in a way. I was going to have to leave Minhyuk after I finally got him back. It was temporary, but that didn’t make it easier to face.I was on cloud nine the rest of the day. We texted a few times, just little things, heart emojis, ‘I love you’, puppy gifs, and other silly things. He came straight over after work and I almost ran outside to greet him. I had that teenager in love feeling again and I was enjoying it. His brightness pushed away all the darkness from the past few months. He was pure sunshine and I was basking in it.We ate dinner with Mom and Dad and I caught the two of them exchanging sneaky glances. I wasn’t sure what they were up to, but there was something for sure. Mom had made a cheesecake and Min and I shared a huge piece. Mom said she needed to borrow Dad for a few minutes while we attacked the sweet creamy delight.They came back in giggling. “What are you guys up to?” I asked.“What are you talking about?” Mom played innocent, but her eyes were sparkling with mischief and it was a dead giveaway that she was up to something.“I can tell you are up to no good, Mom. I will figure it out eventually. I may not be as quick as you and Clara, but I’ll figure it out.”“If you say so, dear. Yeobo, would you like more cheesecake?” She deflected again by bringing Dad into it. He said no, but suggested we all go out onto the patio since it was such a beautiful night.The temperature was nice, humidity low, and the full moon was rising. There were no clouds so we could see the stars. Min and I headed out first while Mom made some coffee for her and Dad. They could drink the stuff at all hours without any issue.I walked out and the lights came on. The lights from the wedding and party. I thought we had taken them all down, but there were still some hung. I turned around and saw that Min had turned them on. The moon was so bright that we really didn’t need them, but they added a certain romance to the moment. I held out my hand and he came to me. We swayed to the music of the crickets and owls.He led me to a chair by the raised flower bed and I sat down. He stood in front of me for a moment and then got down on one knee. I didn’t realize what was happening at first, but then he took my hand in his.“Cheonsa, I cannot tell you how much I love you, but I can show you. It may take a lifetime, but I promise I will show you every day. I want to spend my life with you,” he took a small velvet box out of his pocket and my hands flew to my face. “Hannah, will you be my wife and spend your life with me? Will you be the mother of my children? Will you marry me?”“Yes!” I thought I screamed it, but it came out as a croak because I was so choked up. I nodded vehemently for emphasis. He slipped a beautiful princess cut diamond onto my trembling finger and stood. I flew into his arms and kissed him.Mom and Dad appeared with a bottle of champagne and popped the cork. I hugged them and thanked them for being in on it. Mom was beaming. She hugged Minhyuk and welcomed him to the family “officially”. I hugged Dad and said, “I accept the offer. I know it is the right thing for me. I’m coming home.”
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On the flight back to LA I made a list of all the things I needed to take care of. I didn’t want to bring my furniture back to Atlanta, so I needed to figure out whether to sell or donate it. I wasn’t sure about my car. It was pretty new, but it might be too expensive to have it transported. I certainly didn’t want to drive it back.The hardest part was going to be telling Heidi. I worked on how I would break it to her. She had been amazing the past few months and I could not have gotten through without her. And now I was about to basically fire her. How was that fair? I was really not looking forward to it.I was also thinking about how Min had to propose twice for it to take. I looked at the ring on my finger. The light through the plane window glinted off of the diamonds and the sparkle was almost blinding. I thought about how he had been ready with the ring and wondered when he had bought it. I felt like the first proposal was spontaneous, but he was ready the next time. Considering we broke up right after he asked the first time, he must have really believed we would get back together.I texted him when I landed. I called an Uber and collected my luggage. I stepped outside and the smog hit me in the face, almost literally. I realized how much I hated LA. I felt relieved to be moving back home. I called Min and we talked while I waited for my Uber. We had already started talking about wedding plans. He suggested we have it at the new venue once it was ready. If they were on track, June would be the target. June bride? I was OK with that. Plus, it would give the crews a hard deadline. It would also launch the business.I told Dad and he loved the idea. Mom was already dress shopping, but I didn’t know my colors yet. It was still very early. It felt odd planning something for myself. I understood a little better the indecisiveness of some of the brides I had worked with in the past.But more pressing than the wedding plans, was the current business and dealing with closing up. I dreaded the conversation I was going to have with Heidi the next day. I had to give her plenty of time and leeway to interview and look for other employment. I wanted to get her a gift to show how much I appreciated how she had taken care of everything, including me, since she had come to work for me. No gift seemed enough for her.I picked up coffee and fresh pastries from the bakery near my apartment and took them in with me. Heidi hugged me when I came in and was genuinely happy to see me. She caught me up on all the business, then she wanted to know about the wedding and my trip. I gave her the rundown of the wedding and party.“The trip was actually really good.”“You look a million times better than when you left. I guess things have worked out between you too?”“You could say that, yes. We are getting married!” I couldn’t help but be excited. We jumped up and down and I showed her the ring.“Hannah, that is simply stunning! He didn’t just pick this up at the jewelry store. He had to have this made.” I hadn’t thought about that. I would need to ask him.“He definitely surprised me. And I surprised myself by not even hesitating.”“That is unlike you. I am so happy for you. You were beyond miserable without him.” She smiled.“So with that out of the way, that leaves the next order of business.” I took a deep breath and started to speak, but she did it first.“You are moving back… closing the business?”I nodded, “yes. I am so sorry, Heidi.She continued with a grin, “I figured as much when I saw that rock on your finger.” I knew she was trying to lighten the mood, but I was feeling major guilt.“I feel so awful.”“How long?” she asked.“I don’t know exactly. We are booked into next summer, so we need to get through that. But then…”“You will need a new assistant,” she stated dryly.“Yes. And you are absolutely amazing and I will never find anyone to fill your shoes. But I will give all the glowing references that you need.” I wanted to cry.“Why not keep your old one?”“Huh?” I was confused.“Why not keep me? Hear me out.” She picked up a pastry and took a bite. I waited to hear what she was going to say. “I mean, I could go with you. The only thing keeping me here is you and this job.”“You would move to Atlanta?”“Why not? I would actually be closer to my parents. I grew up in Wisconsin and they moved to Florida when they retired. I have tried to get them to come out here, but they say they love Florida.”“Heidi, this is a huge decision. I want you to think about this before you jump in with both feet.”“Honestly, I’ve been thinking about it since you started dating Minhyuk.” She sat down in the chair across from my desk and wrapped her long blonde hair around her fingers. “I knew there was a real possibility of this happening, so I considered what I would do in that case. The answer was… anything I want. I have no family here, I live in an apartment, my friends are really just hang-out buddies. What do I really have here besides you and this job?” I felt called out, but she was talking about herself. I realized how similar we were then. I guess that is why I liked her so much. “I looked at a couple of different cities, Atlanta being one of them. I think I would like it there.”She stood and began pacing back and forth as she talked through it, “think about this. I know you are not going to want to stay here for 8… 9 more months. I also know how much you hate flying there and back.”“I do hate it, and yes, I want to wrap up as quickly as possible.”“What about this idea… we get you squared away, apartment, whatever stuff. You go on back in time for Christmas. I’m a hopeless romantic and want you to spend your first one as a couple together,” she held her hands in front of her chest and twisted cutely. “I will stay here and finish up. If we aren’t taking on new gigs, then it is just a matter of handling the open ones.”I could find no fault with her logic or plan. I just wanted to make sure that my decision was made with my head, not my heart. I had already made one of those for myself, but this was someone else’s life. We both needed to be sure. I would love to keep her with me.The next day, Heidi told me she had decided that she was ready for an adventure and wanted to come along. We took the morning to work out the details and timing to come up with a plan. We would finish up the events that we had already booked and not take on more. We contacted anyone who had an open quote to let them know we were no longer accepting new bookings. I shared recommendations of other planners that I trusted.I called Dad and told him I already had my assistant and she would be joining us late next summer. He told me they were beginning the renovations and so far it was going well. He was excited to kick it off with my wedding. So was I.I think Clara was even more excited than I was when I told her. I could hear her scream from the other side of the country. Connor was already chattering non-stop about me coming home and he was bouncing all over the room when he heard me tell Clara the news. I had waited until she got back from her honeymoon. That was her time and I wasn’t going to steal any of it.I was really busy for the next 6 weeks, trying to wrap up and get my stuff sorted. I decided to donate my furniture and anything that wasn’t necessary. I would not need it. I cleared out a lot of clothes. Things I hadn’t worn in a long time went bye-bye. Same with shoes, but that one hurt. I had too many though. I needed to condense the amount of crap going back.I thought I would drive. I know, that is a miserable 30 hour trip, but it made more sense to me. I could fill my car and not have to hire a rental company. Minhyuk and Changkyun convinced me that was just a bad idea. They persuaded me to hire a truck and transport my car. They were going to fly out and help me pack up, load up and drop off my furniture and other donations, and then bring me home. Heidi had volunteered to help as well. This was all planned for the week of Christmas while the guys were on break.Min had asked me to go ahead and move in with him, but I said I would prefer to wait until we were married. I know that it is common these days, but as I mentioned before, I am kinda old-fashioned. It just felt like a wedding would be a formality if we were already living together. I wanted it to mean something. I wanted it to be the beginning of our life together, a true demonstration of our commitment.I held my finger up to the ray of sun coming through the window and it cast tiny rainbows across the wall. I had asked Min about the ring after what Heidi said. He told me that he had gone out on faith and had it made a couple of weeks after he got back from his visit with me. Hearing that made me cry because of all the pain we had gone through. But it also made me see that he loved me even through all of that.The ring had a 2 carat diamond set in platinum. Underneath the center stone were “petals” encrusted with smaller diamonds. It looked like a rose and it was stunning. I smiled to myself knowing that he had known even before I did that we would be together.Min called on video to let me know they were in an Uber on their way to the airport. It was almost 8 AM for me, which meant they had gotten up crazy early.“We will sleep tonight. It is OK,” he said when I expressed concern.“You really think you’ll sleep? I haven’t seen you in 2 months,” I teased.“Well, maybe I won’t sleep all night, but there will be naps.” He laughed. “Where will Kyun sleep?”“I usually sleep with Hannah, so you guys will need to make room for me later.” My best friend joked. Or did he?“Those days are over, chingu. Hannah is taken,” Min said as he looked Kyun straight in the eyes.“We’ll see about that. She needs someone to keep her warm when you steal the covers,” he replied in a serious tone.“I don’t steal…”“Yes, you do,” Kyun and I said in unison. The three of us laughed. We would decide the sleeping arrangements later.“What about that girl… Anna? Was that her name? She wouldn’t like it.”“She would actually like it. But that is not an issue anymore. Anna has gone back to Australia and to her boyfriend. The one she never mentioned. She may be OK with that, but I am not. So that is over.” He was clearly upset by this.“I knew she was ‘open minded’, but isn’t that a bit much?” I asked.“A bit too much, sadly. I really liked her. But it seems I am destined to be a bachelor.”“You are younger than me, there is still time. Look how long it took me to find my someone,” Min smiled into the phone at me.“I’ll be at the airport early in case your flight lands early.”“Then we can grab some lunch,” Kyun added.“Yeah, because I only have cup ramen and beer at my place. We are gonna need food.” They laughed.“Guys?”“Yeah?” They said together.“I am really excited about this. I should have done it a long time ago. I am sorry, Minmin.”“For what?” he asked.“For… you know…” I couldn’t even say it, I was too ashamed.“Cheonsa, that is ancient history. Let’s focus on where we are now and where we are going.” He smiled. Kyun laid his head on Min’s shoulder.“I am happy for you guys. Just don’t forget your best friend when you get here.”“I promise, I won’t forget you. It would be impossible, Kyunnie. I love you too much.”“Hey!” Min objected. “I am right here!”I laughed, “Minmin, you have nothing to worry about. I love you too. I love you both, but in different ways.”Kyun looked at Min and said, “I think we need to hear this explanation, don’t you?” They both looked at the camera and nodded. They were having too much fun with me. So I decided to give them what they were not expecting.“OK, fine. Changkyun, we have been through some major shit over the past years. We’ve been as close as a man and woman can be without having sex. You are my anchor, my sanity, and my voice of reason. You have the patience to put up with me. I love you for all that and so much more.” I paused and looked to my fiancée, “Minhyuk, you make me see stars in the darkest night, you make my heart flutter, you make me melt with just a whisper, and you also have the patience to put up with me. You and I don’t have the history yet, but we have the future to make history. I love you for all of that and so much more.” He smiled sweetly at me.“That sounded like wedding vows to us both,” Kyun laughed.“I guess in a way it was. There is no way to express the depth of my feelings for you both. Kyun, I want you to always be by my side. I need your friendship. I need emo boy to keep me in check. Min, I want you to always be by my side. I need you to balance me. And I need you to fuck my brains out anytime the mood strikes.” I threw that last one in for shock value, and it worked. They both just stared in disbelief. I giggled. Min blushed. I heard the Uber driver laugh.“Um, OK. That’s a responsibility I will gladly accept,” Min grinned.“Me too, but not the fucking part. I get enough of that on my own, thanks.” I knew that he knew he wasn’t invited to that party, but I played along.“As long as we are clear who gets which job description, we are good.”The Uber driver announced that they were almost at the door. We said goodbye and hung up. Only about 5 more hours until I was in his arms again. I fell back on the bed and looked at the ceiling. It was starting to hit me, the reality of what was happening. I was going home, I was getting married, and I was going to work with my Dad. Everything changes. Sometimes all at once.
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I taped up the last box and sat back against the wall with a loud sigh. I held my beer up and Heidi clinked hers against it. That was it. The only stuff not packed up was the stuff in my suitcases. The guys were outside, supervising the moving truck getting loaded.The furniture was gone. All that was left were a few boxes. All my dishes, my microwave, blender, various random kitchen accessories… all gone. I only kept the ones that were special heirlooms and gifts from Mom. Those were all carefully wrapped and packed in a single box. I had tons of photographs of my family. Those filled 2 boxes. My clothes and shoes took up the most space in the truck. We ordered the smallest size we could get and added a car trailer.They came back inside, followed by the movers. The last boxes from the living room got picked up and went into the truck. Min and Kyun held out their hands and helped me and Heidi up from the floor.We did a last walk-through and closed up my suitcases. I made sure the movers had the address correct and all the info they needed. My stuff was secure in the truck and my car was on the trailer. We loaded all of our suitcases into the Uber and we all gave Heidi hugs and I told her I would see her soon. Kyun turned and winked at her as we got in the car. She smiled at him.“Already?” I asked as we buckled up.“Already what?” Kyun responded and looked at me from the rear view mirror.“You just broke up with Anna. Are you ready for Heidi?”He laughed. “I wasn’t in love with Anna. She was fun… a distraction. I enjoyed it while it lasted, but it is done now. Heidi is really cute. She reminds me of you in a lot of ways. Besides, she won’t even be in Atlanta until next summer. That’s plenty of time.”I sighed and brushed my hair back out of my face. “Just be good to her. She’s not your usual kind of playmate.”He winked at me and said, “that’s why I like her.” He put the car in drive and took us to the main office so I could turn in my key.Minhyuk laughed and took my hand, “it is sweet of you to watch out for our friend. But I trust him to behave himself.”“Oh I trust him. I would not be so calm if I didn’t.”“Let’s go get something to eat before we head to the airport. We are ahead of schedule.” Once we boarded, we found our seats. There were 3 on the row. I ended up in the middle, Min on the window, and Kyun on the aisle. I was perfectly happy between my men. As much as I had flown, I still got nervous each and every time. The guys both held my hands during take off and that made it a million times better.They kept me occupied during the flight. Kyun played some new music he was working on, Min told me stories of his childhood, we played games, and Min and I talked about where to go on our honeymoon.“We can go anywhere you want, Cheonsa.”“That does not help me narrow it down, Min. We should go somewhere we both want to go.”Just then I had a brilliant idea. “How about Korea?” I asked excitedly.His face lit up, “really? You want to go to Korea for our honeymoon?”“Why not? You haven’t been home for a couple of years, and I haven’t been there since I was a kid. Dad’s parents passed away a couple of years after that and he hasn’t gone back since.”“My parents really do want to meet you. We could have the Pyeback ceremony. I was a little fuzzy on Korean wedding traditions so I asked him to explain.“It is a ceremony only for family and usually happens after the wedding. You would present jujubes or chestnuts to my parents. The symbolize fertility or children. It is a traditional ceremony,” he explained with a sweet smile.I kissed him and said, “I would love that. So we honeymoon in Korea then.”“I guess we do. We should stay on Jejudo for a few days. Just the two of us.”We bumped noses and put our foreheads together. Kyun leaned over, “so I am not invited then?”“No,” we answered in unison. Kyun laughed.The fasten seatbelts sign came on and the pilot announced that we were making our approach. I tensed up again as the plane started shaking from turbulence and they held my hands again. Just under an hour later we were in Clara’s SUV with a chattering Connor in the back seat between Min and Kyun.The truck with my stuff and my car arrived 3 days later. We put everything in Dad’s storage room, except for some clothes and my daily use items. It felt strange moving back into my old room, but also oddly comforting. It didn’t look anything like it did then. No music posters, no Hello Kitty phone, no lavender ruffled comforter. It was now the guest room.The walls were a soft pearl gray and the bed was dressed in dark blue and white. These were the colors in Min’s bedroom too. Maybe that is one reason why it was comforting. I unpacked my clothes while Mom, Clara, and Connor sat on the bed talking to me.Mom was already making suggestions for the wedding. Clara told me more stories about her honeymoon, and Connor told me about Ms. Phillips. I stopped what I was doing and turned around. They all looked at me with concern.“I have missed this so much. I am so happy to be home,” I was about to cry and I held out my arms and they came and hugged me. If I had any doubts about where I belonged, they disappeared in that moment.We had a full house for dinner that night, Clara and her family… I just love saying that… Minhyuk, Changkyun, Joohoney, Kihyun, Shownu, and Wonho were all in the house. Mom made a delicious meal and we shared it, family style. It was loud and chaotic, just like I liked it.I just sat, smiling and watching them. My heart swelled and tears filled my eyes. Why had I waited so long? Why didn’t I realize that this is where I belonged? Mom reached over and held my hand in hers. She smiled and wiped a tear from my cheek. She squeezed my hand and turned back to the table.I spent my first night home with my fiancée. He smiled the whole way home. Come to think of it, I probably did too. We had been apart for months and it was hard not to jump him while he was driving. The ride was only 15 minutes, but it seemed to take an hour. He kept one hand on the wheel and the other under my skirt on my thigh. He slid it higher and higher up gradually as he drove, until his pinkie rested against the lace of my panties, just close enough that I could feel the heat from his hand. Just close enough to tease me.I felt my hips moving involuntarily to get closer and he chuckled, glancing over at me while we were stopped at a red light. He leaned over and kissed me with a promise of things to come. I felt the familiar butterflies in my stomach as his lips touched mine. He winked and then started driving again.He carried me in when we got home. He said it was practice for our wedding night. I got butterflies when he said that. He set me down in the entryway and we exchanged our shoes for slippers. I immediately went in for a kiss and slid my hands inside his shirt. He took hold of my wrists and stopped me. When I pulled back to see why, he was smiling.“I don’t want to be in a rush tonight. We have the rest of our lives together. I want to enjoy every moment with you.”His words made me melt, and made me want him more. “Well, you would definitely be enjoying the moment,” I said in my most seductive tone as I lowered my eyes and bit my lip. He hissed through his teeth and flicked his tongue out of the side of his mouth. I knew I had him. His mouth covered mine and we were suddenly like 2 wild animals, groping, biting, and breathing hard.Hands and mouths were all over each other, clothes were unceremoniously removed and discarded. He lifted me by my hips and I wrapped my legs around him. He carried me into the living room and we fell onto the couch with a giggle. He was inside me before I could even say his name, and I did say it… loudly. My fingernails clawed his back and he nipped my shoulder. His thrusts were hard and fast, matching the fever pitch that was building in us.I felt my body beginning to tense and suddenly I shuddered as I felt like I was breaking into a million pieces. My legs tightened around him, pulling him even deeper. He stilled as his back arched and he moaned as he released inside me. He collapsed on top of me and I held on, not wanting to separate our bodies.He moved to lay beside me and I whined in protest. He stroked my face and pulled me close. “I love you, Hannah. I can’t wait to call you my wife, he muttered into my hair.“June is so close, but so very far away. I have this urge to just run away with you,” I whispered.“Our families would never get over that, although I would be willing.” He smiled and pushed my hair behind my ear.“I can be patient. It is only 6 months. It will go by fast with everything that’s going on.” I traced his collarbone with my fingertip.“Mrs. Hannah Lee,” I smiled up at him. “I love the sound of that.”“It is beautiful. Just like you,” he lifted my chin with his knuckle and looked into my eyes. “I will make you happy. I know you don’t need me to take care of you, but I hope you let me. I want to give you everything. I want to give you the moon and stars.”“There is something I want that only you can give me,” I put my finger on his chest to emphasize my point.“Anything, yeobo. You name it and it is yours.”“A family. I want a family with you. A boy and a girl.” His smile was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.“Only two?” He winked.“At least two. We’ll see after that. I don’t want to be too old to enjoy them,” I giggled softly.“We should probably practice often. Starting right now,” he grinned as he rolled over to kiss me. I giggled. He rolled over me and stood up, holding out his hand for me. “Let’s take this to the bedroom, shall we?” Christmas was always a full-on festival at our house. Mom started decorating after Halloween and Dad helped by putting up lights wherever she wanted them. She baked tons of cookies and made Irish Fudge for the neighbors and her fellow parishioners. This was one if the things I had missed most while I was gone. She would send me a goodie box in the mail, but it just wasn’t the same as smelling them bake and eating them freshly made.Everyone came for Christmas brunch. We had a ham and a roasted turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and a variety of Irish and Korean sides. I would have sworn I saw a tear in Shownu’s eye when he was gazing fondly at the food. This was not Minhyuk’s first Christmas with us, but it was the first as a couple and the first with Clara’s new family.Mom got a couple gift for me and Minhyuk, since we were engaged. She gave us a beautiful ornate silver jewelry box that contained an old Irish penny wrapped in a piece of Irish lace. The tradition goes “something old, something blue, a penny in your shoe.” She said it is not really something that is observed anymore, but she was a fan of tradition. I knew it was something I would cherish always. The next couple of months flew by with getting the farmhouse renovations done and picking out the new furnishings. We had to order tables, chairs, stage platforms, props, decorations, lights, tableware, backdrops, and tons of other things that you don’t even really think about needing until you need them.In the midst of that activity, we were planning our wedding. Min’s parents already had their flight booked and his brother was working on his. They would stay with Min while they were here. He told me that was why he had such a big house when he lived there alone. I was even more happy with my decision not to move in yet. I didn’t want his family to have a bad opinion of me.I went dress shopping with Mom and Clara, then went again with Kyun and Honey. My style had changed since I was a teenager dreaming of a princess wedding and I had no idea what I wanted. I needed all the input I could get, but I was sure that when I saw ‘the dress’, I would know.As many weddings as I had planned, as many ideas as I had come up with, I was all over the place with my own. There were so many beautiful themes, so many things I would love to use, but I had to narrow it down. In Korea, it would be simple. I was making it complicated. Min said he just wanted to get married. Now.One night after working at the farmhouse all day, Min and I took a blanket and went for a walk by the pond. It was February and the weather was mild but chilly, as is common in Atlanta. The temperature could go from 50 to 20 in the space of a day. That night it was clear and calm with a full moon to light up the night landscape. We wrapped the blanket around ourselves and huddled close together.The water glistened in the moonlight and the stars twinkled against the night sky, just like his eyes. I laid my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead. We stopped near the water and looked up at the sky. Being away from the city lights, it looked like diamonds spilled out on black velvet. I smiled and looked at him.“Starry night,” I said without context.“Yes, very much so,” he smiled and stroked my cheek.“No, I mean starry night for the wedding theme. Midnight blue, lavender, and tiny lights. I love the tiny lights.”He smiled and nodded. “That sounds perfect. I would give you all those stars, if I could catch them in a net.” His gaze intensified as he held my chin with his finger.“I see them in your eyes already,” I said softly. He kissed me and then pulled me against his chest, leaving me breathless.“I love you, Hannah. I am so glad you came home.”I tilted my head and looked at him, “you are my home. You always have been. It just took me a little while to realize it.”“It took as long as it needed to. We both know how real this is now. This is forever,” he smiled and pushed my hair out of my face. He cupped my face and pulled me closer. “We are forever,” he whispered as he kissed me. It was the most intense and emotional kiss I had ever experienced, even from him. He brushed away the tear that had fallen to my cheek.I shivered involuntarily, not even realizing I was cold. He stood up and took my hand. “Let’s head back. It is cold and getting late and it is a school night.”“I had better not come home with you then. You need to sleep.”“I never said I needed to sleep,” he said with a wink.
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Kyun told me he had a surprise for me and asked me to clear off a morning for him. He and Honey showed up that morning and ate breakfast with me and Mom. Dad had gone on to the venue to supervise the work. Permits were filed, inspections were scheduled, and supplies were ordered. There had been a couple of hiccups here and there, but things were on track for mid-May completion. Our date was June 14th, so it absolutely had to be finished on time.During the 45 minute drive, Honey told me about a girl he had met a few weeks ago and he sounded head over heels for her. He showed me a photo and she was gorgeous. He talked about her for several minutes before Kyun gently redirected the conversation to what we were going to have for lunch. There was a little café close to our destination, which he was still keeping secret. I tried to get it out of Honey, but he just leaned back and grinned. I wanted to poke his dimples.We ended up at a little boutique shop I had never heard of. Kyun said a friend of his owned it. That meant she was either a current, past, or future girlfriend. I smiled to myself as I wondered which category this one fell into. My best friend was a bit of a ladies’ man.The shop was beautiful. The owner’s name was Amanda and she was tiny and gorgeous. She had long auburn hair and big hazel eyes. Eyes that kept going all googly when she looked at Kyun. He didn’t seem to return the feeling quite as strongly. My guess was future, or more likely wannabe girlfriend.Amanda designed bespoke gowns and dresses… bridal, prom, quinceanera… pretty much for any occasion. The phone rang just after Kyun introduced us, so she was tied up for a few minutes. Honey and I looked around her shop while we waited, and I fell in love with every dress in there. Her attention to detail was phenomenal. Her style was classic with modern flair, which was right up my alley.Honey found a rack of fabric samples and wrapped a couple around my shoulders, checking out how the colors and fabrics looked against my skin. I really wanted to wear white. It was the one thing that had stayed consistent with my dreams of a wedding gown since I was a little girl. Thankfully, the color didn’t wash me out the way it did others with red hair. Clara and I missed out on the full-on ginger coloring. We could also tan, eventually.Honey directed my attention to a particular dress in the window and told me it would look lovely on me. Kyun just stood against the wall, arms crossed and with a big grin on his face. He winked when I looked at him. I wondered how long he had been holding out on telling me about this place.“I am so sorry to keep you waiting. My assistant is off today, so I am handing everything myself,” she apologized as she floated over to where I stood.“It’s okay, I was just admiring your work. These are stunning!” I gushed as I fingered the lace of a wedding gown in the window.Amanda beamed, “thank you, they really are a labor of love. So Hannah, Changkyun tells me you are getting married in June. What style do you have in mind?”“Honestly, I don’t really have one in mind. I am all over the place and I can’t seem to nail down anything. I usually deal with the brides, I’m not used to being one myself,” I laughed self-consciously.“It can be overwhelming. There are so many options. Let’s go look at some photos and get some ideas. We don’t have much time, so we should get started as soon as possible.” I realized that Kyun probably had not told her this was a surprise visit. I didn’t even know if I would use her for my dress, although I was thinking I might. I really liked her style and Kyun would not have driven me out there if he didn’t trust her.“OK, but I am not sure I am ready to make a decision today.” Amanda smiled at me and assured me that was fine.“I am impressed with what I see so far though. Kyunnie surprised me with this adventure,” I grabbed his arm and pulled him down a little so I could kiss his cheek. I saw a bit of jealousy flare in her eyes. “He is the bestest best friend of ever,” I giggled. He grinned and played shy. Amanda seemed to relax a bit.We went to her office and she pulled out a book filled with photos and sketches. She told me that each dress was one of a kind, but we could draw inspiration and ideas from the photos. The sketches were ideas that had not been made into dresses yet.I was blown away by her designs and each new page elicited a “wow” from me. She turned to a sketch that grabbed me. This time I didn’t say wow. I gasped.“This is it. This is my dress. Amanda, this is it!” I exclaimed as I tapped the page repeatedly. I felt giddy and emotional. I had goosebumps all over. I hadn’t expected a dress to affect me that way, but it did. Amanda smiled and removed the page from the book. Kyun and Honey both said they agreed it was the one.“Let’s get your measurements then so I can get started. You caught me at just the right time, so I should be able to get this going pretty quick. I am excited about this one. I’ve been wanting to make it for a while now. Thanks for choosing it.” She smiled.I went to the fitting room with Amanda and she took lots of measurements. She asked if my weight fluctuated or if I was steady. She asked if I was I planning to work out and lose a few pounds before the wedding like many brides do. I told her I was steady and not planning to do anything. I was happy with my body… and so was my fiancée. I felt myself blush slightly at that comment.Amanda showed me the fabrics she had intended to use on the dress when she designed it. They were perfect and I told her to make the dress she had dreamed of. I wasn’t planning to make any modifications. Her sketch was perfect. The lace bodice plunged to a deep V in the front and the back, and lace mesh cascaded down the skirt. The fabric was glittery and perfect for a summer wedding.We stopped at a little bistro for lunch and had a delicious meal. I was still feeling high from finding the dress. I had winced a little when I heard the price, but the guys assured me it was worth it and that Minhyuk would agree, even though he wasn’t paying for it. He liked expensive things and he liked luxury things. This dress was both. Now I needed to find the perfect shoes. That was a shopping excursion for another day.Kyun dropped me at home and I told Mom and Clara about the dress while we drove to the farmhouse. Dad had asked us to come over because he needed our opinions on some things to order. The renovations were going really well and ahead of schedule. Dad was ready to start ordering the furniture, decor, and plants for the landscaping.We had a large garden area and we chose a variety of flowering plants, including some night bloomers, like both white and purple Datura, Night Blooming Jasmine, Queen of Night, Casa Blanca Lilies, and Evening Primrose, and of course, we had to have Gardenias. None of these would be ordered just yet, it was still too cold to plant them.Inside, we selected a neutral color palette of white, beige, and pearl gray tones to allow each individual event to shine on its own. We would order special items accordingly. Since my wedding was going to launch everything, I got to pick exactly what I wanted. Min and I had already talked about it and decided what we liked and what we didn’t like. We set a budget to split 50/50 and he told me to go with my gut and pick what I wanted. He said he would love whatever I picked. He reminded me that was what I did for a living.I chose midnight blue organza table runners and lavender tablecloths. In keeping with the starry night theme, the table centerpieces would contain dark blue roses and purple jasmine flowers in a clear vase. Each clear vase would be painted dark blue with speckled dots left clear, allowing the waterproof light inside to project a ‘starry sky’ pattern on the table.Blue organza fabric would be draped from the chandelier and attached to the walls, then pooled on the floor. Tiny fairy lights would illuminate the ceiling behind the fabric, giving the illusion of the starry night. The feeling would carry over outside into the garden since we set the date for a full moon night. I had already talked to Dad’s preferred cake artist to make our cake. We didn’t do a cake tasting because I had already tried many of hers and they were all delicious. We went with a Blue Velvet cake with Italian Meringue icing. She sent us some ideas on the design and we chose blue and lavender sugar flowers cascading over the 3 tiers. It wasn’t going to be a huge cake since the wedding was going to be fairly small.I couldn’t believe I had twelve weeks to go and I was almost finished planning my wedding. Being both the bride and an experienced planner had its benefits. The only things left were the shoes and jewelry, the music, and Clara’s dress. She had narrowed it down to 3, but hadn’t decided yet. My dress was supposed to be finished in 2 weeks. I squealed every time Amanda sent me an update. I was supposed to go for a fitting in a few days before she put it all together so she could make any adjustments needed.After the fitting, I went on a shopping trip with Honey to find my shoes and jewelry. I hadn’t been shopping with him alone for quite some time and I was excited. Honey loved shopping and had excellent taste, so I felt confident that I would find what I needed. And if didn’t, I would have a great time trying.He drove us to Phipps Plaza Mall in Buckhead. This was a place I could only window shop. For Pete’s sake, there are Bentleys and Mazeratis on display in the common areas! That was where the people who didn’t care about price tags shop. I protested, but he told me he needed to go to the Balenciaga store. We would hop across the street to Lenox Square after.We walked through the mall, three shopping bags later, and popped into Neiman Marcus. We were giggling and looking at some of the trendy outfits when the shoe department beckoned to me. Have I mentioned I had a thing for shoes? Well I had to take a look. Little did I know I would find them there. THE shoes. The ones.I gasped and Honey looked worried until he saw why. I pointed, mouth hanging to the floor. He pushed me closer so I could touch them. I picked up one and the lights reflected off of the stones. Honey was laughing at me for my reaction.“Try them on,” he suggested.“They are over a thousand dollars. I can’t do that.” But I didn’t put them down either.“Then let’s go across the street. There are other shoes waiting to be found.”“But they are perfect.”“But you said they cost too much.”“I did.”“Try them on,” he whispered against my ear just as the sales person appeared.I handed them to her and gave her my size. She smiled and disappeared to the back. Honey smiled and stroked my arm. “Those are like Cinderella shoes.”“I’ll have to work like Cinderella to pay for them.”“You plan on only doing this once, right?”“Of course.”“Then go for it. I know you can afford it, you just don’t want to. And your fiancée would support the decision. You should see some of the clothes he has bought when we have gone shopping. He has very expensive taste.”I shot him a sideways look and walked over to the seats when we saw the sales girl returning. She opened the box and handed it to me, telling me to let her know if I needed a different size. I thanked her and she went to help another customer. I looked at the shoes in the box. They sparkled and begged to be on my feet.Honey grew impatient and took one. He knelt in front of me and took my shoe off and put the Laboutin on my foot. I gasped when I saw how it looked. He grinned and looked up at me. He repeated the process for the other foot and held out his hand to help me stand.They fit perfectly. Perfectly. I walked around on the carpeting and found a mirror to admire them. I stood there posing my feet to see how they sparkled at different angles and imagined how they would look with the dress. I remembered how much I had spent on the dress and winced. I couldn’t spend this much on shoes too. Honey got my attention. He snapped a pic with his phone after I struck a model pose. We giggled. He told me he was sending it to Kyun for his opinion. I told him not to bother because I was not going to pay that much for shoes, no matter how stunning and perfect they were.I sat down and took them off with a sigh. I lovingly stroked the jeweled footwear and said goodbye. The salesgirl had come to check on me and I handed them back to her. She looked disappointed, but not as disappointed as I was. I thanked her and we headed out of the mall.Honey tried to convince me to go back and get them, but I held strong. We ended up at Nordstrom and I found a very pretty pair on sale for less than $100. That was much more my style. Plus, I could wear these for work. Let’s be honest, I would have worn the others for work too. I do events and weddings. They would have worked well on many occasions. But I still could not justify that price tag.I also found a beautiful silver rhinestone necklace and earrings that I loved. I considered a tiara, and tried a few on. Honey played photographer and I modeled them for him, but I decided not to go that route. I already had sparkles all over. It was just a little too much… if that is a thing.We stopped at a lingerie store and I bought new white lace panties and thigh high stockings to wear under my dress and a garter for the ceremony. My dress had a built-in bra, of sorts. Honey was as much at home helping me shop in there as he was in the department stores. He found lots of beautiful things and made suggestions for my wedding night “outfit”. It made me giggle. I chose a few different things that I thought Min would like for the honeymoon.We ate a late lunch at the Tavern at Phipps and then headed back home. I showed Mom and Clara what I had bought. They both approved. I told them about the shoes and they both said I should have gotten them. I insisted they were too much. Clara reminded me that it was my wedding and I was supposed to be a princess for one night. Princesses wear shoes like that. I stuck my tongue out at her and she laughed.We worked on the hall for the next few days. It was almost time to paint. While we had done a lot of things ourselves, that was not a task any of us wanted. Dad hired a painting crew. They knocked the entire thing out in 3 days. I was amazed. The inside was almost finished, ahead of schedule. Now that the danger of the last frost had passed, we were starting outside. Dad’s friend was a landscaper and they had worked out the design together.Dad had already ordered all the flowers, trees, and sod for the gardens and they were being delivered in a few days. We picked out some benches and other seating as well. The landscaper would install everything. They had already begun prepping the area by cleaning out some old bushes and leveling some areas to make for cobblestone patios and walkways. We would have pathway lighting installed too.When we got back to the house and showered, I went to lay down for a few minutes before dinner. On my bed was a beautifully wrapped package with a note that said ‘open me’. My curiosity got the best of me and I began to carefully open the beautiful paper. It looked expensive and I hated to tear it.The box inside appeared to be made of nondescript brown kraft paper, until I reached the mid section. I revealed the name ‘Christian Laboutin’ in white and I squealed. I knew exactly what was in the box. Mom and Clara appeared by my side, excited to see what it was. I took a deep breath and lifted the lid from the box. It felt like I was opening a treasure chest and the treasure inside was breathtaking.I heard them gasp as the shoes were revealed. I lifted one from the box and held it up so we could stare in awe. Connor had come in and was cooing over how pretty they were.“Put them on!” Clara insisted.“Yes, Cinderella, we need to see these,” Mom agreed.“OK, OK, just a sec,” I finished removing the other shoe from the box and sat down at my vanity table. I slipped the shoes on my feet and stood up, modeling them once again. I was giddy. This had to be a gift from Honey. I was going to kill him, but then I would hug him so hard his dimples would fill in. I took a photo of my feet and sent it to him. He called me right away.“Thank you, Honey. I’m going to kill you because they were too expensive, but thank you so much.” I almost sang it.“I didn’t buy the shoes, Hannah. They aren’t from me,” he replied with a laugh.“Then who…” I was shocked.“Your fairy godmother,” a voice answered from the doorway behind me.
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“Or maybe godfather sounds ominous. Fairy godmother?” I turned to find my Dad standing there laughing at his own joke.“Oh Daddy, thank you so much!” I ran to hug him.“You are so welcome.”“How… how did you know?”“You know I talk to the boys, right? We hang out,” he winked.“Mom, did you know about this?” I turned to her, but I could see from her expression that she was as surprised as I was.“No Creena, I did not.” She walked over and gave Dad a kiss on the cheek.“You used to dream of being Cinderella when you were little. I wanted to make that dream come true.” I hugged him so tight that I thought I would sprain my arms.“Thank you Daddy. I love you so much.” Tears filled my eyes and I couldn’t stop smiling and looking at my feet. Dad wasn’t known for spoiling us girls, but he had always made sure we never wanted for anything. This was the most extravagant thing I had ever known him to buy that wasn’t for home or business.Honey was still on the phone and I heard him trying to get my attention. I put him on speaker and told him the mystery was solved. He laughed.“I was sworn to secrecy. Forgive me?”“Of course I forgive you. I could never be mad at you, Honey. Never.” I blew him a kiss through the phone and heard him pretend to catch it.I sat on the bed and looked around at the people in my room. Reality was beginning to set in. I was getting married in 2 months. 2 months! I fell back on the bed and held my feet in the air, giggling. I sat up quickly and made that announcement, loudly.“I am getting married in 2 months! Me!” Connor hopped up on the bed and hugged me.“Auntie Hannah, you and Uncle Minhyuk will be happy. I know it!” My little dude knew it to be fact, so it was fact. “I am glad you are marrying him.”“Me too, sweetheart.” What I meant was, I am glad I came to my senses and didn’t let the best thing that ever happened to me get away. The renovations were complete. The furnishings were all in place. The landscaping was done. Decorations and lights were hung. My dress was perfect. It was the night before my wedding and I was so nervous and excited I didn’t think I would sleep a wink.Mom and Clara tried to help me settle down so that I would not have dark circles, but it was no use. I was like Connor on Christmas Eve. I was at Mom and Dad’s house, even though I had spent the last 2 months mostly at Min’s house. We had moved all my stuff from storage into the house, except the things I would need for the week. Those would go before we left for Korea though.In keeping with tradition, I would not see him until the wedding, except for family things and the rehearsal dinner. It had been almost a week since I had been in his arms for more than a goodnight hug. I spent over an hour on the phone every night talking to him though. Every night I felt like I was a teenager talking to my crush.Min’s parents had flown in for the wedding. They were staying in his house, so I expected our wedding night might be a little awkward. Thankfully, their bedroom was on the opposite end of the house and upstairs. We would be flying back to Korea together after the wedding.They seemed to like me, even though they weren’t completely sold on the idea that he was not marrying an Asian. I think the fact that my stepfather was Korean and I was raised with a great understanding of and respect for Korean culture helped a lot.During the rehearsal dinner, Min’s father made a toast, and my Dad interpreted it for him. Those two had hit it off really well. The Moms were also getting on well. Since Mom was fluent in Korean, it put Min’s mother at ease. I felt good about the whole thing.When I was standing in front of Min during rehearsal, I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and never let go. I could not stop smiling. Knowing I would be his wife in less than 24 hours was too exciting to me.Later that night when we were back at Mom and Dad’s house, Clara came to my door with 2 mugs of chamomile tea in her hands. Dad had dropped Connor off at home and Clara was going to stay with me for a while. We sat on my bed, talking and sipping our tea. Mom joined us for a bit before she headed to bed.We stayed up til after 1 AM. Mom called it a night at 11 PM, and Clara stayed with me for another hour or so before going on home. I was too excited to sleep. I was marrying the most perfect man on the planet in just a few hours. I called Kyunnie, since I knew he would be up. He started talking as soon as he answered.“You aren’t getting cold feet, are you?” he asked.“No way! My feet are hot and I am ready to do this! I am too excited and I can’t sleep.”“Your feet are never hot,” he chuckled. “But I get what you mean. You are going to have raccoon eyes tomorrow.”“I’ve got that covered,” I giggled at my own bad joke. I was giddy and it made me silly.“Do you need me to come over? According to your rules, this is your last chance for Changkyun snuggles.”“Would you, please? I would love one last snuggle.”“I’ll be there in 20 minutes.” He was actually there in 18. I was counting. He climbed into bed with me and I nestled into his perfect spoon. I knew I would miss it, but I also knew how much better it was snuggling with my soon-to-be-husband. I fell asleep in minutes.I didn’t remember my dreams the next morning, but I woke up feeling full of energy and ready to handle anything. I didn’t even want coffee. Min called me just to tell me he loved me and how excited he was to be marrying me. I was on cloud nine and twirled around in the middle of my room just as mom walked in. She was smiling from ear to ear. I threw my arms open and almost ran to hug her.“Mommy, I am getting married!” I grinned.“I know Creena!” she laughed and hugged me tightly, swaying side to side. She pulled back and held my face in her hands. “Hannah, you are going to be a wonderful wife. I have given you everything you need to make him happy. And I have taught you to expect the same in return. You have great respect and affection for each other. Never lose that.” She smiled with teary eyes and patted my cheek. “Now let’s get you ready.” She pushed me out the door and down the hallway to the bathroom, closing the door behind me.I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t nervous. I was excited beyond words. I was confident in my decision to marry this man. I knew it was written in the stars for us to be together. I blew myself a kiss and turned on the water in the shower.Moments later, I was in the car with Clara and Mom on the way to the salon. Heidi’s flight had been delayed and she had arrived late the night before. She missed rehearsal dinner, but I was sure she would figure out how to walk. She called to say good morning and that she would see me soon. I had missed her and was looking forward to the reunion.Most of our business was wrapped up in LA and she was going to look for a place to live while she was here. Mom and Dad had offered her my room while she looked, but she said she didn’t feel right about that. I was sure she’d change her mind after being around them for a little while.It was finally time. My hair was perfect, makeup was perfect, dress was perfect. I peeked at the reception hall and gasped. Dad had outdone himself. It was more beautiful than I had imagined. There were yards of midnight blue organza hanging down the walls and draping from poles on the ceiling. There were flowers on the table in the vases I had made. They shot “stars” all around on the tables and around the room. It looked like a magical, starry night. It was perfect.Posing for a few photos in the garden with Kihyun, I could not keep the smile off of my face. He wanted me to have some neutral expressions, but I just could not do it. He had done Min’s photos earlier while I was at the salon. He told me later that he caught several amazing candids of each of us that we would love. We would do some together after the ceremony.I had also posed with Clara, Mom, and Heidi together, with Changkyun, with Honey, with Changkyun and Honey, and with Wonho, Shownu, and Hyungwon. Kiki used his tripod and remote to get some of us together and some of all of us as a group. He got some of me and Dad, me and Mom, and me and Connor. I was ready to be done with the photos.He walked me back inside to the staging area and kissed my cheek. With a smile, he cocked his head slightly and said, “Minhyuk is a very lucky man. You are beautiful and so is your soul. I know you will be happy together.”“Thank you, Kiki. I think I am the lucky one though. Minhyuk is so amazing and I am thrilled to become his wife.” I gushed a little. Changkyun appeared and pulled me into his arms.“I can’t believe my best friend is marrying one of my other best friends. I wish I had introduced you a long time ago. No, I don’t. Then he would have taken you away sooner,” he winked.“He’s not taking me away. Well, maybe for 4 weeks, but after that I will be right here. Much closer than before.” His smile widened.“Maybe we can go on couples dates,” he said a bit shyly.“When you find someone to be a couple with, then most definitely!”“I think I might have found someone,” he looked down at the floor and back up at me. “I feel different with her than anyone else. I don’t want to keep a back up on standby. I really like this girl. So much so that I haven’t even slept with her yet.”“Are you kidding me? This is the first time you’ve ever said anything like that about a girl. Who is she? Have I met her? And how have you kept your hands off of her?”“Well, as a matter of fact you have met her,” he held out his hand and Heidi came to stand beside him. He kissed her and they leaned their foreheads together. My mouth dropped almost to the ground.“Wait a second… how did I not know about this?”“We have been talking on the phone since I was out there packing you up. When we met in person yesterday, it all seemed to click into place.” He had been looking at her the whole time he spoke. I tried to keep myself from crying, even though they were happy tears. I opened my arms and wrapped them around both of them, hugging them as tightly as I could. “I didn’t mention it because I wanted to see where it was going to go first. I mean, she does work for you. It could have been awkward.”“You have my blessing. I hadn’t thought about it, but now that I am, I think you guys would be a great match.” I smiled at them and blinked a few times to dry up the tears. We had worked too long on my makeup to ruin it now.I had met several of Kyunnie’s love interests over the years, and he had never looked at any of them the way he looked at Heidi. And she looked at him the same way. My heart filled even more, knowing that he may have found his someone as well.Dad came to let us know it was time for everyone to take their places. He was beaming. He touched one of the curls that fell around my face and I saw tears in his eyes.“My baby girl… I can’t believe my baby girl is getting married. You know I will still be there in a heartbeat if you need anything.” He stroked my cheek.“I know, Daddy,” I smiled up at him and said a silent thank you for Clara’s recommendation of waterproof mascara. “I will only be 15 minutes away now. We can come for dinner and visits any time. And we will. I promise.”We heard the music grow louder and knew it was our queue. We kept it small, mostly because I had left my so-called friends behind in LA and the girls closest to me were right here. Wonho, Shownu, Kihyun, and Honey were helping in other ways. Hyungwon and Changkyun were standing with Minhyuk. Changkyun and Heidi paired up and got ready to walk, and Clara and Hyungwon did the same.I felt the butterflies in my stomach doing nosedives and I squeezed Dad’s hand. Mom came by and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek before going to her seat. Connor was standing by, ready to reprise his role as ring bearer. He looked like such a little man in his tuxedo. I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. He grinned.The music changed and it was time for the party to begin walking. We wanted Connor to go first. He stood taller and looked at me. I smiled and nodded. He walked proudly down the aisle and took his place up front.Next, Heidi and Changkyun walked. I had a sudden vision of them as the bride and groom. It made me smile. Clara and Hyungwon followed. Dad took my hand and put it on his arm when it was our turn. He patted my hand and smiled.As we walked down the decorated aisle, I didn’t see anything except the most handsome man in the world who was waiting mere yards away. Not the beautiful decorations, the midnight blue organza, the night-blooming flowers, the babbling brook that ran through the garden, or the twinkling stars in the night sky… just the man. THE man. The only man I had ever truly loved. He took my breath away, standing there in his black tuxedo. His smile was the most beautiful I had ever seen. I felt overwhelmed with love and wanted to run to him, but I maintained my pace next to Dad.When we reached the front and Dad stepped away, I put my hands in Min’s and knew I was home. Wherever Minhyuk was, that is where home was. I would follow him to the ends of the earth. I could have kicked myself for almost letting him get away, but that was in the past. We had our future together, and it was beginning at that moment.Minhyuk mouthed, “you are enchanting tonight, my love,” and I wanted to kiss him. Father Patrick began by reading the traditional wedding verses but I was so focused on the man in front of me, I almost missed my queue when it was my turn to recite my vows. I heard giggles from the crowd. We had written our own vows and I had been practicing them for days.“Minhyuk, you are my moon. You are my sun. You are my world. I promise to make every day special for you. I promise to love you, to cherish you, and to honor you. You are my someone. My happy place. My heart. I love you more than words can say.”“Hannah, you are my angel. When I first met you, you glowed and I think I knew right then that you were the one. I vow to make you know how special you are every single day. I vow to protect you, to love you, and to cherish the way you deserve to be cherished. I love you, my cheonsa.”When Father Patrick said, “you may kiss the bride,” Minhyuk held my face in his hands and kissed my lips tenderly, then followed up with little soft kisses. Then he dipped me and caught us all off guard. I giggled and he kissed me deeply that time. I felt it all the way to my toes.The cheers brought me back to reality. We turned to them and they all stood. I felt like we were on stage performing. I felt the urge to take a bow. I looked at Minhyuk and it was like he read my mind. We bowed to the “audience”, then more deeply to his parents. I think they appreciated it.We moved everyone inside and drinks and dinner were served while we did more photos. The gardens were in full bloom and made for a lovely and fragrant backdrop. Dad had installed a small waterfall that fed from the small creek that ran through the property. We chose this as one of our spots to pose.After we finished taking all the photos, we cut the cake. We didn’t smear it on each other, but we did feed some to each other. He whispered in my ear what he wanted to do with the cake and I blushed. Clara saw and giggled at me. Connor was going around to the guests and making sure they knew that his grandpa owned the place. Some did not know apparently. He was the unofficial PR guy.Afterwards, Minhyuk removed the garter from my thigh with his teeth, in traditional fashion. His parents looked on in shock at his boldness, but I saw his mom smile. I caught the look in his eye and knew he had something special planned for the night and my body flushed at the thought. Kyunnie caught the garter and I just winked at him and he blushed a little. Heidi caught the bouquet and was excited. I saw them exchange a quick glance.My attention returned to my new husband. He took my hand and led me to the center of the floor. We had chosen an untraditional song. We danced to I’ll Be Here by BTOB. The lyrics really spoke to us. My dress sparkled with every movement and I felt like Cinderella at the ball. I definitely had found my Prince Charming. The moment when I first met you,It's still very clearThe moment you hugged meI knew the whole world became brighterI felt it was different from yesterdayOh because of you everything has changedWhen I close my eyes, I see you againIn my head, I only think of you,I somehow, only for today,I want to say it to you So you can be happy, you can always laughI will always be thereevery moment,I promise I'll protect youWhen you are tired, when the tears fall outjust remember this oneYou are more precious than meI'll hold your two hands, I'll be here When I close my ears, I hear you again.In my head, I only think of youI somehow, only for today,I want to say it to you So you can be happy, you can always laughI will always be thereevery moment,I promise I'll protect youWhen you are tired, when the tears fall outjust remember this oneYou are more precious than meI'll hold your two hands, I'll be here Thank you that you are there for me, you are hereI promise that I'll love you foreverBaby baby you’re the one So you can be happy, you can always laughI will always be thereevery moment,I promise I'll protect youWhen you are tired, when the tears fall outjust remember this oneYou are more precious than meI'll hold your two hands, I'll be here After the festivities, we hugged everyone and then climbed into his SUV, which had been decorated at some point that evening. He drove us to our new home. It was his home before, but now it was ours. I was already packed for Korea. We were leaving the next morning.He gave up trying to get his hand under my dress to rest on my thigh while he drove because there was so much fabric, but the looks he gave me made up for it. He carried me “over the threshold” when we got there and we giggled. He set me down and I tangled my fingers in his hair and pulled him to me. I flicked my tongue across his lips and whispered that I had missed him. He responded by capturing my tongue and sucking it gently.“How much?” his voice was low and thick with desire.“I will have to show you,” I reached for the buttons on his shirt. He had taken off the bowtie and jacket during the reception. When he had rolled up his sleeves, I thought I was going to lose my mind. It amazed me how something so simple and mundane could be so sexy.I heard a noise outside and froze. “Your parents….” I gasped when I remembered they had been staying with him.He grinned, “they are staying at the W tonight. I surprised them with a getaway of their own. Hyungwon drove them there.” I smiled and kissed him. He quickly gathered me and my dress in his arms and carried me down the hall to the bedroom.He had scattered flower pedals all around and in a heart shape on the bed. It smelled heavenly in the room. He placed me gently on the bed and said, “tonight is our first night as husband and wife. I am not letting anything get in the way of that, Mrs. Lee.” I smiled at the use of my new name.“Then we had better get rid of these clothes, Mr. Lee,” I said as I continued unbuttoning his shirt.“Your wish is my command, wifey.” I giggled as he pulled me to stand by the bed. He turned me around and slowly unzipped my dress, kissing the flesh as he exposed it, inch by inch.When he reached the small of my back, he sucked in his breath when he saw the wispy thong I was wearing. There was barely enough fabric for it to even count as an undergarment. He slid my dress off my shoulders and I stepped out of it. He laid it over the chair and then sat on the bed, holding my hands and admiring my body. I was only wearing the thong and thigh high stockings. The dress had a built-in bra. My nipples were hard and erect and I felt moisture pooling between my legs already.“Cheonsa, you are stunning. I can’t believe someone so beautiful is my wife. You can’t be real. Are you actually an angel?” He laid his head against my abdomen and placed a tiny kiss by my belly button. He held my hips with his hands. I felt the heat radiating through me.“I am flesh and blood, and I am all yours.” I ran my fingers through his hair. He tilted his head back and smiled. He slid his hands underneath the thong and pulled up instead of down. The sensation caught me by surprise and I gasped. He smiled bigger.“Does my wife like that? Does it feel good?” All I could do was nod. He placed his mouth over the lace and breathed against my mound, sending me into a tizzy. He pulled the flesh of my thighs apart just enough to see that I was wet. He hissed and planted a kiss over the fabric.He stood and quickly removed his clothes. He stood there, magnificently hard, and I don’t know how he did it, but suddenly we were on the bed. He was over me, pulling my thong down over my ankles. He stroked my legs through the stockings and moaned.“I like these. I want to leave them on you.” I smiled and swung one leg open, passing directly in front of his face. All those years of yoga paid off when I saw the look on his face. He captured my leg in mid air and kissed my calf. “Just how flexible are you?” he asked as he guided my leg to the other side.“Let’s find out,” I teased as I brought my legs in front, crossed my ankles and proceeded to put them behind my head. I had been practicing for a while to achieve some advanced poses, this one especially. It was called the Sleeping Yogi. Min’s eyes grew huge and then he smiled. He took full advantage of the pose and began to kiss my thighs, moving down between my legs.My core was fully exposed and he went straight for the gold. He kissed and sucked on my clit and then slipped a finger inside me. My body was already shaking from holding the pose, but when he did that I couldn’t hold back and climaxed. My pose released and he held me steady.When my body relaxed, he asked if I could do it again because he wanted to see how deep he could go in that position. I gladly resumed the pose and he slid inside me. The direct friction against my clit caused an almost immediate orgasm. I could not hold the pose, so I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him as deep inside as I could.We had been apart for a week, so it wasn’t long before we climaxed together. He called my name when he released. I tightened my legs, holding him inside. I wasn’t ready to be separated again. I was one with my soulmate. I wanted it to stay that way.He collapsed on top of me and held on to me. We rolled to the side, with him still inside me. His erection was not shrinking and soon we were moving again. I rolled him over to his back and rode him until I shuddered again. Next thing I knew, he was behind me and I was on my knees. He held my hips and thrust hard into me, making me cry out in pleasure.I lost count of how many orgasms I had that night. We finally fell asleep somewhere around 2 AM. When the alarm sounded at 6, we were at it again. Eventually we got up and had coffee then got ready to go have breakfast with my family before heading to the airport.It was bittersweet when we said our goodbyes, but I was excited for our trip. Changkyun was driving us to the airport and we were picking up his parents along the way. Dad let us use his Suburban since it was the only vehicle between us that would hold all of us, plus our luggage.Once we were in the air and things had settled down, I felt a sudden rush of emotion. Everything hit me and I whispered, “I am married. Mrs. Hannah Song Lee.” I smiled and looked at the man next to me. “You are my husband. We got married.” I had not said these things out loud yet. Saying them seemed to bring the reality.Minhyuk kissed my forehead, then my hand that he had been holding. “Yes, we got married. Mr. And Mrs. Lee. That is us.” He smiled.“I think I am going to like this 'married to you' thing.” I smiled and put my head on his shoulder as we taxied down the runway. ~~~~~~~I’ll Be Here by BTOB lyrics translation by https://lyricstranslate.com
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I stood in the kitchen window at Mom’s, watching Connor teach his little brother and cousin how to catch fireflies in the backyard. He would release them after he felt he had a full jar. They were laughing and having a great time, but it was well past the littles’ bedtime. It was summer and we sometimes let them play longer.A lot had changed in 4 years. Connor was 11 now, and such a character. His brother was three. Our son was two, and our daughter was due in a month. The family business had grown and we now had a full-time staff of 15, along with several contract workers. Hyungwon’s practice had become well-respected and he was very busy. Clara helped him occasionally, but she mostly stayed out of the legal world now. Kihyun’s restaurants were packed every night. Shownu was still coaching the varsity swim team and was still Kiki’s business partner. Honey had opened his own music school, and Wonho was doing well with his high-end clients as a personal trainer.Minhyuk had opened two new school campuses, and still had a waiting list 2 years long. Connor was acting in school plays and had even landed a role in a local furniture store commercial. Kyunnie and Heidi had moved in together and had 2 kitties. They were talking about maybe getting married.All of the guys had girlfriends at the moment. This was a first. Honey had been dating Nari for 4 years and he was going to ask her to marry him. Wonho, Shownu, and Kihyun were all in fairly new relationships less than a year old.My husband came up behind me and held me. He put his hands on my rather large belly and stroked the taught skin. Our daughter kicked in response to his touch. She always reacted that way to him. He sang to her and talked to her every night, and that is when she was most active. It was like she was trying to get to him. She was going to be the first girl grandchild, so I knew she would be a spoiled princess. I was 100% OK with that.Mom was busy chasing the puppy that Dad had gotten for the kids. He kept stealing socks out of the hamper. They ran past us and I laughed at how cute it was. I leaned my head back against Min’s chest and sighed. I was happy. No, I was beyond happy. I was content. I had everything I had ever dreamed of and more.It had not been all rainbows and unicorns, but it was perfectly imperfect. When we fought it was not pretty. My temper sometimes got the best of me, but I tried not to let pride prevent me from acknowledging when I was wrong, a lesson I had learned the hard way. Minhyuk did the same. It was a promise we had made to each other after our first real fight.Min asked if I was ready to go and I nodded. I walked out onto the patio and called our son, “Matthew, come on honey. Time to say bye,” he pouted and ran to Papa, not wanting to leave. Dad scooped him up and “flew” him in a circle. The baby giggled. Connor’s brother, Liam, wanted in on the action. Dad put one boy under each arm and began to spin, not too fast though. After the giggles subsided, we were able to load the boys up into their respective car seats.Matthew fell asleep on the ride home and Min carried him to his bed. We stood over him and watched him sleep. He was the most precious thing in our lives and we were about to add another. I absently stroked the top of my belly. Min put his hand over mine.“I can’t wait to meet this little girl. I love our family,” I turned to face him. “Each day with you is better than the last. What did I ever do to deserve you?”“You are an angel. My angel. My Cheonsa. I am the one who should be asking that question.” He took my hands in his and brought them to his lips. “You have given me the best gift I could have ever gotten. Our family. Thank you for making me a husband and father. Thank you for giving me the world.”