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“Chariot all fixed?” she asked not looking up. Just like she'd said, Maureen was in bed with a book by the time John was done.“Yeah. Say’s it’ll be good for about half a year, says to 'be nice to her’. ” he repeated affecting Don’s voice. Maureen made a noise John interpreted as being offended at the implication that she would mis-treat a machine. It wasn't. Be nice to her, wasn’t that what over protective fathers were supposed to say to the guys dating their daughters? She was still struggling to wrap her head around what she’d seen. "You stuck around to talk, I take it?” She was doing her best to sound casually interested, nothing more. After all, didn’t she say this wasn’t her information to share? “Yeaaah. What you said about Judy got me thinking and I wanted to ask Don if he knew anything.” he replied, getting undressed. However, that got her full attention. “Oh?” She asked, looking up, closing her fingers in the book. “What’d he say?”“Said she hadn’t mentioned anyone to him.” There was that noise again. She was careful to keep her face neutral, though, for some reason Judy and Don didn’t want anyone to know, apparently, and she intended to respect that. And maybe what she saw was a one time thing? No. She’d been mulling it over since she saw it, unable to put it out of her mind. It was not the frantic embrace of impulsivity. So why then the lying and sneaking around? Because that’s what Don had done, right? Lie to John? “What exactly did you ask him?” John pulled back the comforter, sliding beneath the cool gray covers. "I just said he and the kids were close, and asked if maybe Judy had mentioned anyone to him that she might be dating, that you thought you saw something but wouldn’t say. He said no, but made a big deal about Judy not being a kid.” He added, frowning, “Do you think we treat her too juvenile? I know we pushed a lot of responsibility on her while we were trying to get here to AC and get away from SAR, but I don’t think we’ve taken a step back. I didn’t mean it like she’s still a kid, she’ll just always be our kid.” “Ha. I’m sure his reaction had nothing to do with your intentions or how we treat her, John.” Of course he would have a problem with Judy being called a kid. She was easily able to imagined his reaction to John’s throwaway comment, could see him panicking and squirming, hear his voice get high and frantic, rambling on. But, what will he do now that he knows I know? "So, Don knows what I saw?” "Yeah, but don't worry” John said pulling the sheets up and laying down, “I don’t think he’ll say anything. I don’t think he really believes it, if i’m being honest.” --- Don stepped into the darkness, light from the house momentarily lighting up a figure in the distance. The silhouette against the chariot was unmistakeable. Joy and dread lit up inside him at finding her there. She’d waited for him to say goodnight, but he had news to share. Not so great news concerning what they’d just discussed. When would he learn? Never make plans. “Thought you’d gone off to study for the night.” Don spoke low, as he approached, not wanting to be overheard. “Before saying goodbye? Never.” Judy draped her arms around his neck, pulling him in. He walked her backward, hands on waist guiding them behind the chariot just in case, “I seem to remember you leaving without a goodbye before…”“Never again.” she said with a shake of her head, "I learned my lesson. Missed you too much then.” Her face was millimeters from his, pulling herself up…up...pulling him down…he really didn’t want to…would really rather just...But he had to. He pulled away. “Your mom saw us. Told your dad, but wouldn’t tell him who she saw with you.”Judy sunk down, deflating, until her sneakers were flat on the ground, face dropping with feet. "Great. First Penny, now mom. We’re really bad at this.” “Oh, yeah. But if I remember, we’re pretty good at other things.”, he teased trying to lighten the mood. “Shut up.” She smiled, shoving at him. It worked. "What should we do? I know you wanted to keep things quiet for a bit.”“Yeah…That’s not really looking like an option anymore.” He ran his hand behind his head thinking it over. It’s not that he didn’t want them to know. Well, how they started he didn’t want them to know- hoped Penny would take to the grave. But it was mostly the fear of being cast aside should things not work out. Who was to say they would work out? Just because you work amazingly well with someone and are entirely devoted to them and their every whim, trust them implicitly, does not mean…There was a distinct possibility Judy would wake up one day and look at him and think to herself ‘What the hell am I doing with him?' Could he risk the chance of that every day? Or would he end up sabotaging the happiness they could have? He still didn’t believe he deserved her, this beautiful, smart, caring person. Or them. “Did dad tell you what she saw?” Judy broke his train of thought. “ASKED me if you mentioned anyone you were seeing.” “And...?”“I told him you hadn’t mentioned anyone to me….That'll be a fun one to clear up…” He had that pissed-off smirk on his face. The one that said this is so fucked, why can’t things just go right. Judy had to agree, while Penny had kept things to herself mostly, there was no way Maureen would for long. Especially now that Don hadn’t exactly been truthful when asked about it, John would definitely tell her about their talk. She really couldn’t ever just have something for herself. “Which I assume is going to happen soon now.""It’s looking that way, yeah.” he sighed.Judy grabbed his hands, lacing their fingers, "I can be there if you want. Help break the news, or just as moral support.” Don looked down at her, all the adoration and apology conveyed in her eyes and hoped that she saw the same reflecting back in his own. This was such a mess already, he needed to fix it, he didn’t want them to start off like this. “Thanks Princess, but I’m the reason this is happening, I think it’s better if I talk to him on my own.” Judy pulled him into a warm and calming goodnight kiss before heading back inside. Don drove home not registering a bit of the now transformed alien world around him, distinctly human worries flooding his thoughts: when would he be able to talk to John? Where should they meet? Should they meet in public? For safety? How was John going to react? Maureen knew? How was he going to tell him? Maureen knew. Was he going to explain why he lied or why he was hiding he and Judy from them? Maureen Knew. Why did he feel the need to? Maureen Knew. Why did he want this man’s approval?!
After all they’d been through, a pretty girl’s dad still made his stomach turn. If he weren’t so nervous, he’d laugh at the absurdity. No matter the distance or experience, some things never changed.
——
Don had comm'ed John the following morning asking to meet up for lunch at a cafe between the house and the shop. He hadn't needed to give a reason for the lunch invite which made him feel better, less deception. But with every passing minute since plans were made Don felt more and more like backing out. Knowing what he planned to do- had to do- was seriously stressing him out. He almost wished Judy had come after all, at least then he’d have a doctor near by to administer CPR after John strangled him.
He paced the cafe, drink in hand, knotted stomach preventing even a single sip from being taken.
Once John showed up and they’d ordered their sandwiches, sitting at the small table Don felt even more caged in, knee bouncing like a jackhammer, hands in fists on his chin just staring at John with an awkward intensity.
“John,” he finally spoke, "there’s something I need tell you, and I want you to just hear me out. Just listen to everything before you react. Because it might sound bad at first, but just-" He’d put his hands up in a defensive placating way.
John noted how anxious he looked when he’d seen him through the door, now it seemed to be rolling off him in sheets, vibrating with every word. It made him concerned, he’d come to think of Don as family, they all had. Outside of Maureen and the kids there was no one he trusted more with anything. For everything. Whatever was making Don this upset he wanted to help with.
"Don, if you’re in trouble, we’ll do whatever we can. If your past has come back-"
Don laughed high and nervous. Why did he have to make this harder being so trusting and understanding? "Yeah… it’s not that. The other night you asked if Judy had mentioned anyone she was seeing-"
“Yeah, you said no. Did she?"
“Just-" he held up a hand. “So you asked, and I said no, but that wasn’t-“ he stopped, blowing out a breath. Rip it off, West, just like a band-Aid. But band-aids stung, this was really going to hurt. "The guy Maureen saw Judy with and the reason Judy hasn’t mentioned anyone to me is because that guy. Well. The guy is me." He flinched, eyes squeezed tight instinctively waiting for the blow, the eruption, the anger, anything- that never came. After a second he opened his eyes and lowered his arms. John was on his side of the small table exactly where he’d been, grip a little tighter on his cup, but no noticeable difference besides that, face impassive.
“Go on…” Ok, his voice was tight and cloudy. That tightness that comes from disapproving parents- or worse yet- disappointed parents. Parents who’ve taught you The Right Thing and caught you in a lie and now you’re explaining yourself and you should have just been honest from the start but now it’s a whole big deal and it’s all coming out and you know you’re too old to be ground but you’re not too old to lose their respect and trust, something Don didn’t have a lot of experience with, but knew to recognize anyway. He hated that he knew it. He hated that this family made him know it. Disappointing people was so much easier when you didn’t care about them or what they thought about you.
"Judy and I had just talked, had just decided we wanted- want to explore-” (Explore? Explore was such a bad choice, explore what? Each other?) "to see- to grow-" He broke down laughing, covering his face. Jesus, he couldn’t look at the man capable of ripping him limb from limb and talk about wanting to build a deeper relationship with his daughter. Huh. Perfect words. Best to keep your eyes trained on the woodgrain though just in case. “to try to build a deeper relationship together. It came out recently that we both have liked each other. For a while. Years. And well, I wanted to wait for the family to find out in case it doesn't work out how we hope it will. I don't want to lose everyone.” He finally looked up again. “I never meant to break your trust, John."
John didn’t say anything for a long time, various thoughts playing in his eyes. Finally he gave a curt nod. “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t more of the 'I’m not good enough’ crap, because Don, you are. But i’m sorry the two of you felt you’d need to hide it. Yeah, early on before we knew you, I would have thrown you out the airlock- was tempted a few times” he gave a sly grin "but you’ve more than proven yourself to be a trustworthy and reliable part of this family.” John's face softened, "Don, you've told me before you wished you had a father like me, I may not be your dad, but we love you like family, we’ve told you plenty you are family. You thought after all we’ve been through together that we would drop you? Turn on you? Never. That’s not to say that it wouldn’t be difficult should things go south. But I think it’s more likely at this point that Judy would break your heart than the other way around. So i’m not going to give you a talk, no attitude, Just… know that we’re here for you. Always.”
Don looked away, forefinger and thumb pinching at the corners of his eyes and gave a loud sniff. He was not crying. He was definitely not crying. Don West was not a crier and certainly not a public crier. Yet, here he was sitting in a small cafe at an even smaller table somewhere in space with another grown man, talking about feelings and the past and the future and breathing in a regular rhythm was getting harder and moisture was welling up on his face. Must be sweat. From all the nerves of earlier. Man. These people were changing him. He just admitted to lying to him and the man just told him he loves him and they'll always be there for him?! What kind of reaction was that?! Was this how family worked? He took a deep breath steadying himself. "Thanks, John."