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Death. Such a bleak concept. Kenny of all people should be used to it by now. It was something that happened every day. It did not phase him. It was akin to taking a breath of air. No, death did not phase Kenny. It was the person dying that made it hurt. Nineteen. Leo didn't even get to see his twentieth birthday. He and Kenny were supposed to celebrate together. But together was no more. Kenny fumbled with his drink as he sat on the couch outside the funeral parlor. The guilt, the sadness, everything twisted and tore out his guts. He took a shuddered breath and let his head fall into his hands. He hated himself. He hated himself so much for feeling like he was about to throw up at his best friend's fucking funeral. Actually, he really was going to throw up. He stood and made a beeline for the bathroom. He thought that shutting himself behind a closed door would dull the nausea bubbling up his stomach, but he lurched, fell to his knees and let the few drinks he downed empty up his throat and into the toilet. After dry-heaving and panting, clutching the rim of the bowl, he fervently grabbed for the handle to flush it all away. He leaned back and put his head in his hands once again. Silent sobs shook his body as he gave up trying to fight another bout of tears. He was running out of energy from all the pathetic wailing he was doing. "Kenny?" A soft knock accompanied the familiar voice of Kyle from the other side of the door. "Kenny, are you okay?" Kenny wiped his eyes and nose and tried to compose himself. "Dude, just leave me alone." Kenny didn't even try to hide the broken crack in his voice. He heard a sigh from the other side of the door, then the door handle turned. Shit. He forgot to lock the door. Kyle stepped in and silently closed the door behind him, then leaned against it. His curly red hair was tamed down and neatly combed, his suit carefully pressed. "Look. I know things are shit right now. I mean, you were closer to him than any of us ever were." Kyle started, pushing the palms of his hands together and looking down. "Shut. The fuck. Up." Kenny growled through gritted teeth. Kyle tilted his head up slightly and looked down at Kenny. "Kenny, we need you out there. Whether it's in the coffee room or by the couches. You don't even have to enter the actual parlor." Kyle reassured. He gingerly placed his hand on Kenny's shoulder and pulled him upright. Outside was no better than before. People and relatives who didn't give half a shit about Leo wandered aimlessly, finding coffee or sodas or even alcohol to sip on while they laughed and chatted. They laughed. Why were these people laughing? It infuriated Kenny. This was a viewing, not a fucking gender reveal party. "Hey, Kenny." Craig Tucker approached Kenny. He had no worried look or sympathetic eyes. Kenny could always count on Craig to remain stoic through anything. Even his voice was monotone. "Craig?" Kenny asked, his voice distant as he looked through Craig, head lulling slightly to the side. "Parents know each other through the church." Craig motioned to the doorway where his parents, Leo's parents, and the pastor were talking. "Oh." Kenny stared at them. There were so many people here. "I'm sorry, I..." Kenny trailed off and shook his head before turning and walking to the nearest room he could escape to. The coffee room. Nobody was in here. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar flash of blonde. His heart skipped a beat and before he could think, he reached out to grab whoever had just disappeared out of the corner of his eye. "Leo-" But when he turned, he saw only the slim, mousey face of Tweek, trembling and grinding his jaw as his wide eyes met Kenny's. "Hm, hi? I- ah, ow. Kenny. Ken- let go, please. Kenny, let go!" Tweek tried to pull his arm back. "Kenny, what's the deal?" Craig grabbed Kenny's arm and pulled Tweek free of his grip. "What's your fucking problem?" Craig's once neutral gaze was now an upset glare. Kenny's breathing quickened. He let his fingers card through his hair to garner some sense of grounding. A hand grabbed his arm and guided him outside. "What was that all about?" Kyle turned to face him. Stan and Eric were right behind him. "Dude. We know you're mourning. We all are. But grabbing Tweek? Seriously?" Stan shook his head slowly in disappointment. Kenny kept his eyes downcast. "Butters wouldn't want this." Kyle murmured. And that's what got Kenny to snap. He grabbed Kyle by his suit and snarled, knowing well that he must look deranged. "I'm tired of you guys pretending that you give a shit! None of you even remember his actual name! None of you assholes ever cared about him, you all used him!" Kenny was yelling through tears now. "We didn't use him, Kenny, you're full of it." Eric scoffed. Kenny turned his angered glare to him. "You." Kenny growled through gritted teeth. "You were the worst to him. You fuckin' shamed him, berated him, manipulated him, assaulted him. How dare you show up to his viewing." He lowered his voice, "How fucking dare you." Letting go of Kyle with a slight push, he turned away. "See you at the fucking funeral." He spat over his shoulder and sulked away to his car. Kenny let his head fall against the steering wheel. He sat there for a long while, too tired to do anything else and fresh out of tears to cry. "Well, Leo. That was a wreck." Kenny laughed out of complete disbelief over the entire situation. And then, another bout of sobbing wracked his body. Kenny took off his suit coat and hung it best he could on a dented wire hanger in his closet. He untied his tie and untied his shoes. If only it were possible to unlive his life just as simply. Kenny lay on his back and looked up at the ceiling, not really admiring the strange leaks and stains it had. There was a tapping at his window, which hardly phased him. But when three knocks echoed over the glass, Kenny sat up. It was either one of the guys or a home invader, and Kenny hated both those possibilities. He drew back the battered curtains and froze in place, eyes wide and jaw dropped. There he was, hands saluting over his eyes to reduce glare and see into the dirt stained window. It was clear as day. That golden hair buzzed around the sides, rounded face and concerned eyes. It was... "...Leo." Kenny mouthed, not actually having the breath to say it out loud. "Kenny? I'm sorry, my parents aren't home and the house is all locked up and I can't find my keys." Leo bit his lip nervously. Kenny opened the window, having to hit it a few times when it got jammed. He stared at Leo for a moment, then put his hands on Leo's shoulders. "You're really here." Kenny whispered quietly. Leo gave a small chuckle and a nervous smile. "Well, I'm right in front of you, aren't I? Jeez, Ken, are you well? You look like you've seen a ghost." Leo started to look genuinely freaked. Kenny reached out and pulled him in through the window, then hugged him close and failed miserably at keeping back his tears. After composing himself the best he could, Kenny reluctantly leaned back to look into Leo's concerned eyes. "Leo, I just got back from your funeral." Kenny clasped Leo's hands in his own. They were freezing cold, but Kenny could chalk that up to the cold weather outside. "What?" Leo giggled with disbelief, clearly not understanding the gravity of the situation. "Leo. You died. The EMT's said you were dead before they even got to you." Kenny spoke carefully. "Do you know if your parents have taken up any peculiar religious practices centering around a Lovecraftian horror?" "Uhh. Nope. If I'm dead, how come I'm still here?" Leo freed his hands from Kenny's grasp and poked his cheeks. "I can't be a ghost if you can see and touch me, right?" "I dunno..." Kenny brought out his phone and aimed the camera at Leo. "I can still see you through the camera." "Take my picture." Leo smiled at the camera. Kenny pressed the button on his phone screen and waited for the picture to load. The screen froze and glitched instead. Kenny hit it a few times, as if the primal act of bashing an object would make it work again. "Goddammit." Kenny sighed and tossed his phone aside. "I swear to God, if that shit breaks on me, I'm gonna lose my shit." "Ken, why are you mad?" Leo tilted his head slightly. "You know I can talk the phone store into a bargain deal. Talkin' people into corners is my specialty. Remember?" Kenny looked Leo over again and put his hand on Leo's shoulder. "Are you real?" Kenny had gone through psychosis, bad trips, and most anything in between before. He was slowly remembering that he had seen Leo's very dead looking body in the casket at the funeral parlor. "Or are you like me?" "Like you?" Leo furrowed his brows. "I'm real. Aren't you?" Now it was Leo who reached a hand out to Kenny's shoulder. "Kenny...? You're starting to scare me." Leo moved his hand to Kenny's forehead, presumably to check for fever. "You're dead." Kenny could only muster those words with a shaky whisper. Leo shook his head, slowly at first, eyes narrowed. "Quit tellin' me I'm dead! I'm not! I'm right the fuck here, Kenneth!" Leo shouted. Kenny flinched back, surprised at Leo's tone shift. "Leo, I'm sorry, I- I'm feeling a little fuckin' out of it considering I just fuckin' attended your fuckin'...goddamned funeral!" "That's another thing- stop damming things to God! If you just saw me at a funeral, prove it!" Driving back to the funeral parlor wasn't something Kenny had planned on at all. He chewed his lip anxiously, silently praying that the parlor would be closed and that everyone would have gone home by now. He didn't want his friends to see him like this. With his manic eyes, worn coat thrown haphazardly over his old shirt, sweatpants hanging low around his hips because he forgot to tie the drawstrings, sneakers that belonged to someone in his family but definitely not his, he knew he looked like hell. Parking the car, Kenny clutched the steering wheel and hung his head. "Ken?" Leo was still upset, proving so with his crossed arms and pout. Kenny knew that if Leo was right and he really wasn't a ghost, bringing him to his own funeral would cause immense chaos. It wouldn't be good. But on the other hand, if Kenny was right and Leo was dead, then Leo would have to mourn his own passing. Kenny got out of the car silently and opened Leo's door. "Leo, if...if we go in there and nobody there can see you-" "Shut your mouth, Kenny. They will see me and they will realize it's all been one big mistake." Leo wringed his hands in nervous anticipation. Kenny didn't react to Leo's anger. He would be angry too if he were in Leo's place. He actually had been in Leo's place many times before. "What can I help you with, sir?" Kenny stopped and closed his eyes, muttering out a curse before turning to face the funeral director. "I...needed to say goodbye." Kenny scowled at his own lie. Leo nudged him. "Why are you lying?" Leo whispered. Kenny didn't answer. "Ah, I'm afraid you're half an hour late for that. The parlor's closed, everyone left." The funeral director noted, unlocking his car. "I was just going home myself." "Well, reopen the parlor." Kenny demanded. The director looked him over with a scowl and shook his head no. "Sorry, you should've come earlier." He stated, hunching over to get into his car. "Dude, my friend is in there! Why the fuck would you deny that for me? My fucking friend is in there!" Kenny knew he looked batshit crazy, tears now falling from his wide, angry eyes. "Kenny, I'm right here!" Leo grabbed Kenny's arm. "I know you are, but I'm pretty sure you're in there, too." Kenny faced Leo. "Kid, look, I'm sure this has been hard on you, but drugs are not a good way to cope." The funeral director dialed a number in his phone. "The police will be here, they will help you out." Kenny slapped the phone out of the director's hand. "I'm not on drugs!" Kenny definitely was not helping his case. "You little bastard. You're crazy!" The director went to pick up his phone. Kenny stepped on the phone and slid it under the car. Maybe this was Kenny's breaking point. The director glared at him accusingly and slammed the car door shut, then started the car. Kenny stood in front of the car and put his arms out, glaring at the director and silently daring him to try leaving. "Open the parlor, or so help me God." Kenny growled. "Kenny! Get out of the way!" Leo stared at him with wide eyes. "This isn't like you at all." The director inched his car forward and honked the horn. Kenny flinched, but he wasn't afraid. He was too numb to death to fear it now. He would have held his ground, but Leo pushed him out of the way. Kenny stumbled, tripped over his own feet and felt his head bounce off the pavement. His vision darkened briefly, not long enough to fully lose consciousness. Kenny lay there, not really aware of much other than the dull ringing in his ears and the sharp coldness of the concrete he was laying on. He sat up slowly, holding a hand to the side of his head and trying to gather his senses. The director drove off, presumably to the police station. Leo crouched beside him, saying something that Kenny couldn't hear through the muffled static sound in his ears. "...you're bleeding!" Leo sobbed. Kenny took away his hand and studied the bright crimson liquid already drying on his fingertips. "Leo, it's okay." Kenny's voice sounded muffled and far away. He started to wonder if he would ever come out of this dazed state of stupor. "Just give me a minute." Leo sat beside him and hugged him so tightly that it hurt. He nestled his face into the crook of Kenny's neck and sobbed something about not meaning to push Kenny and feeling awful. Kenny lightly patted his back, slowly but surely coming out of the daze. "Okay, I'm good. I'm alive. Probably." Kenny stood and pulled Leo up with him. "I'm so sorry-" Leo started. Kenny cupped Leo's cheek and traced circles over with his thumb. "I've been through far worse." Kenny assured. "Now, let's get this shit over with before the cops get here." "But we don't have the keys to the parlor." Leo noted. Kenny bent down and pocketed the director's phone. "Which is why we're breaking in." Kenny took Leo's hand and led him to the parlor. "Breaking in? How? I dunno how I feel about this." Leo worried. Kenny tried a window, then went around to a side door and tried that. Neither would open. "Well, we try to pick the lock or we smash in a window." Kenny decided. "Since I didn't bring any lock picking shit, we're going with the window option." "But that's breaking and entering!" Leo looked even more alarmed than Kenny thought he would. Kenny picked up a hefty piece of broken off concrete and took a few steps back. "Yeah, it is. Stand behind me." Kenny pulled Leo behind him and wound his arm back. "Isn't that Kyle's car?" Leo pointed to a car pulling into the driveway. It was indeed Kyle's good looking, expensive, well-working and up-to-date car. Kenny remembered how immensely envious he had felt when Kyle received that car for his eighteenth birthday two years ago. "Kenny, what the hell are you doing now?" Stan shouted as he stepped out of the car with Kyle. "What are you doing here?" Kenny dropped the rock and stared at them, not entirely sure what to do now. "Well, we were trying to get food. Imagine our surprise when we drive past this place and see you in the parking lot." Kyle leaned against the hood of his car and folded his arms. "We can explain." Leo started. "Kenny said I was dead. Ain't that wild? I told him, "Kenny, there's no way I'm dead if you can see me and touch me and shit." But he kept tellin' me I'm in there, so I said "well, prove it" and that's why we're here now." "Oh dude, your head." Stan approached Kenny and looked at the side of his head. "You're bleeding." "Yeah, dude, I know." Kenny took a step back. "I-I really didn't mean to push him over. It's my fault." Leo's eyes looked to the ground with guilt. "We should probably drive you to the hospital." Kyle decided. "Get in the back, don't get blood on the seats or I'll have your head." "They're right, Kenny. We can come here later anyway." Leo reasoned. Kenny shook his head no and ignored the stinging pain. "I'm fine. I'll be fine." Kenny grumbled through gritted teeth. "Then at least let us take you home. I don't think you should drive with that injury." Kyle would not let Kenny debate that. Kenny looked at Leo, who nodded. "We can come back when the parlor's open." Leo suggested. "Tch, if they even let us in. That guy probably put us on a watch list." Kenny mumbled. "Did your parents kick you out of the house again or something?" Stan asked with furrowed brows. "He's probably high." Kyle murmured to Stan. "Why does everyone think I'm on drugs?!" Kenny shouted. Kyle and Stan recoiled and looked at each other. "We don't, Kenny. Let's get you home. I can drive your car back for you." Stan offered. "Could we stop by my house? I wanna see if my parents are home yet." Leo asked. Kenny fished out his keys from the pocket of his sweatpants and tossed them roughly to Stan. "I don't think they heard you." Kenny murmured. He went to open the car door, but Kyle smacked his hand away. "Don't touch my car with your bloodied hand. I don't want more blood-transferred viruses." Kyle grabbed hand sanitizer- of course Kyle had hand sanitizer in his car- and practically dumped it all into Kenny's hands. "C'mon, I'm not the one with HIV." Kenny grumbled. Kyle shot him an enraged glare. Kenny mumbled a sorry and looked over at Leo. "Put your seatbelt on." Kyle demanded while doing exactly that. Kenny wiped the excess sanitizer on his pants and decided that pissing off Kyle further would only end badly. "Thanks for the ride, Kyle." Leo tried to smile, but he was clearly emotionally drained. Kyle didn't answer. "Dude, you can't ignore him the entire time. I know you don't like him that much, but this is getting ridiculous." Kenny stated. "You didn't even act surprised to see him again. What the hell is wrong with you guys?" Kenny went on. Kyle looked back at them through the rearview mirror, confusion in his face. "Who am I ignoring? You and I are the only ones in this car. Damn, are you putting yourself through another bender? I mean, we expected that you would, but not this soon." Kyle shook his head slowly in disbelief. Kenny winced and turned to Leo again, but he didn't say anything. The pain on Leo's face said everything. The silence that followed hurt more than anything. Leo looked broken. Lost. His mouth was agape, but no words could leave his lips. His eyes welled, but he couldn't even cry. "Leo, don't-" Kenny hesitated. What was he even supposed to say to make Leo feel better? "Leo?" Kyle glanced back at Kenny, more concerned than before. "Kenny, this is getting out of hand. He's gone. You need to accept that." To those words, Leo let out a pained, choked noise. "Stop it, you're upsetting him." Kenny demanded. "How? How am I upsetting him, Kenny? I don't know what you want to believe, if you want to picture a heaven for him or if you want to see him in another life here on Earth, but start fucking believing it." Kyle instructed. Silence fell once again. Kyle was too mad to say anything. Leo was too upset to say anything. Kenny couldn't talk to either without Kyle getting angrier. Kenny took a breath and thought for a moment about what he should do next. An idea slowly formed in his mind. Whether it would work or not was beyond him, but he had to start somewhere. "Drop me off at Craig's place." Kenny requested. Kyle frowned at that. "Kenny, why are we going to Craig's?" Leo asked in a wobbly, tear-choked tone. He had been crying. Kenny understood. "He can help me with this faith shit." Kenny lied. He was mainly talking to Kyle. "But he's-" Kyle started. "Atheist, I know." Kenny cut in. "But his family's with the church. Maybe they can give me something to believe in." Kenny hadn't intended for his voice to break at that. He was lying, but it didn't feel that way. Kyle grumbled and changed direction. "Fine. Text Stan about the plan change." Kyle instructed. "Yeah, about that...my phone broke." Kenny fumbled. Another disappointed sigh from Kyle. "Fucking hell, Kenny. I'll text him when we get to Craig's place, then." Kyle decided out loud. "I'm...I'm dead." Leo whispered in a wobbly, broken voice. Kenny reached out to hold his hand. "You were right. I'm dead. And now everyone thinks you're crazy." Leo looked at Kenny with tears in his eyes. "Don't beat yourself up over it. They thought I was crazy before, anyway." Kenny insisted. Kyle gave him a look, but ignored him. Kenny looked up at the house. It was a good house. Craig and Tweek had bought it together relatively recently. Kenny and Leo had attended the housewarming party. Tweek opened the door before Kyle could knock. He wore a NASA hoodie that definitely belonged to Craig, as it was far too big on him. Tweek's shorts came up to his mid thigh. His overall outfit looked like something a highschool girl would wear. Kenny admired that Tweek could pull off that look. "Ah- Kenny? Kyle? Is that blood? What's going on?" Tweek's head jerked to the side. Craig stepped into view behind Tweek, looming like some sort of guard dog. "What do you want?" Craig snapped. Friendly as ever. "He insisted I drop him off here. He's your problem now." Kyle turned abruptly and left Kenny and Leo on the front stoop. "Oh...kay." Craig looked Kenny over. "We're letting the cold air in. I guess you should come in." He and Tweek stepped aside. The living room was cozy. There were blankets folded on the back of the plush couch, a t.v. complete with a gaming console, and artwork hung on the walls that Tweek had made himself. Kenny bounced his leg as Craig pulled the loveseat in front of the couch. When he and Tweek were situated, Craig looked at Kenny directly. "So." Craig raised his brows expectantly. "Are you ordained by the church?" Kenny asked, earning confused looks from Leo, Craig, and Tweek. "Church is my parents' thing." Craig shrugged. Tweek squeezed Craig's arm in support. "Turns out, Catholics are surprisingly ruthless in their anti-gay beliefs. I stopped participating in that cult as soon as I could." Craig put a sarcastic tone on 'surprisingly'. "Craig. Are you or are you not ordained?" Kenny reiterated. Craig sighed irritatedly and nodded. "Fine. Yes. Sure. Whatever. I'm ordained, you want my fuckin' commemoration crucifix?" Craig scowled. "I need your help."