Work Text
Let me take you on a little trip
My supersonic ship's at your disposal
If you feel so inclined. Well alright.
We're gonna travel faster than light…
Peri danced across the caravan like a dolled-up go-go dancer trained in the art of raqs sharqi. The earth was her stage and her name was written in the clouds. To the music’s Caribbean twang she shimmied off her floral button-down, tossing it at her husband who watched on in total captivation from the bed. Lassoing the article above his head he threw the baton over to the kitchen counter, where it hit the mark with flying colors—literally. Colin was a salty ol’ dog and she was his siren, personalized just for him. Despite what the stories claimed, however, slaying men was not a trick in her repertoire; she merely loved to entertain her biggest fan.An eyeful he was certainly getting. Peri’s hips wined slow and rhythmically, slinking like a cobra rising from the charmer’s bowl. Colin patted his pockets, then tugged them outwards to reveal an abundance of—“Do you accept pensioner’s checks?” he asked, an awkward grimace spread across his face.The music came to a halt. Peri’s lighthearted countenance pistol-whipped into an incredulous scowl. “What?”“Pensioner’s checks,” he repeated.“You’ve gotta be—” She pounced into bed to glare straight in the whites of his eyes. “You brought me out here and now you won’t even pay me?”Sucking air through his teeth, Colin rubbed the back of his head with all the apprehension of a man who’d been had. “I’m afraid not…” he demurred. “But, maybe, I could…possibly…recompense you in other ways?”“Mhmm, that’s what they all say.” Giving herself some breathing room, a film of condensation slicked her palm upon swiping the ice cold can of lager from the bedside table. Grassy effervescence tingled on her palate as she indulged in the first swig. On the back end came the faint tang of citrus. It was a cheap beer, but it was all they needed after a long day in the Lake District.“Hey!” he said, playfully beckoning her. “There’s plenty more cans in there for you.”“I wanted yours,” she purred, matter-of-factly. Unashamedly, Peri quaffed her thirst a second time before proferring the rest. “Impatient cheapskate,” she said, sticking out her tongue.Colin stuck out his in return. The pillows behind him were sliding down; he readjusted them upright. “I take it this one garners your seal of approval?”“Blegh,” she said. “No way. I don’t know how you drink that stuff.”“With my mouth,” he answered, accenting the quip with a smile that served as a sardonic wink. “As you have so successfully displayed.”After guzzling down a hefty mouthful of the drink, he returned the beverage with a refreshing sigh.“I meant how you can stomach it.” For some masochistic reason, Peri took another sip. Instantly her face contorted in repulsion. “Nope. It tastes like rancid locker room socks.”When Colin declined another round, Peri leaned over to place it on the table. She then slinked over to plant herself smack in his lap.He smiled at her review. “You try not to think about it,” he said.“Sounds crazy if you ask me,” said Peri. She traced the outline of Colin’s snowy goatee with the tip of a manicured finger. “I’d rather not have to play mental gymnastics with my drinks.”Colin was gobsmacked by this retort. “Oh, pot meet kettle!” He folded his arms behind his head in some semblance of a stretch. “May I remind you of the stash of kombucha you keep at home?”Damn. She couldn’t deny kombucha was the definition of an acquired taste. “Yeah, yeah…But I’m pretty sure kombucha has some kind of health benefit going for it.”“But at what cost!?”Thumbing the bright yellow fabric of his suspenders, Peri looked at him from the corner of her eyes as if to say, “Oh, hush.” Colin unraveled his arms and set a hand atop hers. Clutching it, he lifted it to his lips and bestowed a delicate peck upon her skin. “Oh, my dear,” he swooned. “Today was fantastic, wasn’t it?”Peri nodded. “I can’t get over how beautiful the Lake District is. The mountains dusted with fog, the calm water, the blue skies…I see why Wordsworth lived here.”“And Beatrix Potter,” he added. “Coleridge, Ruskin, Arthur Ransome…We seem to be the only ones missing from the list.”“We can move,” she said. “Imagine the stories you’d come up with if we woke up to Lake Windermere every morning. You’d be the next great English writer.”A flat chuckle. “That would imply that the world listens when I speak. In the eyes of society I’m nothing more than another nameless fogey to hawk life insurance and burial plots to.”A frown instantly overtook Peri’s expression. “Stop it,” she said, lowering her eyes to the mandala blanket they were sitting upon. She rolled one of his shirt buttons between her fingers. “You know I don’t like when you speak like that.”Colin raised his hands in capitulation. “Yes, you’re right, it’s defeatist of me. I’m sorry.”Peri said nothing in return, preferring to quietly cogitate as she toyed with her lover’s matching Hawaiian shirt. There were few things that could dampen the mood more than negative self-talk that reminded her of the inevitable.“I must say,” he said, his tone a hint more jovial, “After the trek we endured today up Friars’ Crag I can safely say that my endurance is improving. I couldn’t—I wouldn’t—have done it without you.” He cupped her cheek in his hand and her eyes met up to his. “You, my darling, are my greatest inspiration.”How couldn’t she feel warm and fuzzy after that? “I love you,” she told him.“And I love you.”“You may not have a presidential-sized audience, but the people who do listen love what you have to say.” She draped her arms around his neck. “You’re the wisest man I’ve ever known.”“Who?” came his reply.“You!”“Who?”…Hold on a minute. Through a budding smile Peri narrowed her eyes. Sometimes she could read that man like a book. “—And the silliest!”She joined their lips in a tender kiss. The Kinks’ “All Day and All of the Night” was playing softly in the air. Electricity shot through her veins, galvanizing her in ways only he could. “Mm, Daddy…”The corners of Colin’s mouth upturned into a puckish grin. He ran a hand down Peri’s downy, brown hair, primped tall like her favorite singers of yesteryear. “Is my kitten in the mood?”She gave a winsome nod. “A little...”“Invariably you always are, aren’t you? You’re a frisky little thing.”A teasing smile creeped its way upon her face as well. “And who made me this way?” she asked him. “Who would’ve thunk the guy who wears crocs to a dinner at L’Enclume could be so intoxicating?”“Excuse you,” he said. “Those were my fine dining crocs. They only see the light on special occasions and last night was a very special one indeed. Anyway, I doubt the waitress noticed a single thing I was doing once you stepped into view.”Peri rolled her eyes, and it was then when she finally said, “Oh, hush…”Poking the tip of her nose, his response was provocatively terse: “No.”Gracious did she love the conviction laced within those two ordinary letters. There was something about Colin’s voice that gave him the extraordinary ability to turn her on just by, say, reading the phone book. It made for some very interesting nights…Bashfulness be gone, she crushed her lips to his with a smooch. He returned the action with comparable power, the piquant taste of hops sluicing her palate. Carding her fingers through his wispy white hair, she rested her palms against his cheeks and pressed herself further into the kiss. Her shapely bosom smoothed against his chest as her palm-sized bottom grinded upon his navy blue slacks. His hands drifted up the back of her blouse, but soon found themselves clutching her bum, encouraging her to continue. Messily their tongues pirouetted and sparred. Soft moans cascaded from their lips like waterfalls.“My teddy bear,” she giggled.“My pussycat,” came the reply.If anyone entered the van, it was certain they would have been caught off guard by this sight. There was a noticeable age gap between Colin and Peri, one so vast that any random passerby could recognize that the two were dating due to the particularly youthful fashion in which she wore. Surely no grandfather would dare to be seen toting around his granddaughter who dressed like a 1980s hair metal groupie!He was seventy-four. She was twenty-six. They met within the stacks of a used bookstore; their initial conversation spurred byway of a common request: “Can you reach that for me?” (sometimes life can be as romantic as a Hollywood romcom).Everywhere they went their relationship turned heads. It wasn’t unusual for them to catch wind of a stranger’s contrarian opinions through their glares and surreptitious titters. He was a dirty old man, a creep, a groomer; she was an innocent girl drowning in naïveté. While some men were free in admitting that they found the arrangement alluring (a compliment that neither of them particularly welcomed), more often they casted aspersions, branding her a gold digger or a tramp. Women, on the other hand, seemed to applaud her in securing, what they considered, a hefty bank account straight out of college without half of the work the rest of them had to slog through.But their supposed accolades and grotesque defamations were unfounded.Peri loved him as Colin loved her—it was as simple as that. There wasn’t a crumb of ill-intent or an ulterior motive in either one of their hearts. Since she was old enough to dream about the distant future, she wished for a man to cherish her, to confide in, to woo her off her feet. He had more than exceeded the qualifications.He was a man, not a boy. He was assured in what he wanted and took it with both hands. Arrogance? No. It was pure confidence that came with age. The maturity he seeped put any of the erstwhile guys she dated to shame. From the second they first met there was an unexplainable spark. The whole evening was spent in a thought-provoking (and wonderfully amusing) conversation about philosophy and ethics over two cups of steaming hot coffee and glazed donuts. He was the walking, talking personification of the Encyclopedia Britannica. Even when he’d talk about some weird, erudite subject no one but him understood, no one could inspire and make her laugh like he could. And that physique? Whew! Perhaps those women were right, she did hit the jackpot!We were made for each other, they would say. Soulmates. Once their family members became acquainted with the other’s fancy, skepticism gave way to understanding. Soon, they, too, were singing the same praises. Now the two lovebirds were happily married and traveling around the Lake District in a converted caravan with no one but the birds and the odd parking space standing in their way.Peri separated their lips with a smile. Crossing her arms upon her chest, she pulled off her blouse and threw it aside. A lacy teal bra was underneath, bought on a whim one date night as the cherry trees bloomed. That was nearly two years gone, and Colin still marveled as if it were the very day. “You delectable creature,” he growled. “I’ll never tire of that sight.”“And I’ll never tire of seeing you in these wild clothes. As much as you love them, you won’t be needing them where we’re headed, mister.” She unwrapped the button-down he wore atop a shirt festooned from tip to tail with various species of cartoon cats.While ample consideration was taken in choosing his outfits for the day, no time was wasted in stripping it off.Colin set his hands upon her hips. Standing at five-foot-two, she was splendidly tiny compared to his hunky six-foot frame. He could easily sling her over his shoulder and pin her to the wall if he wanted…and did she love when he did so. He was her big, strong teddy bear: there was nothing like snuggling up to him in the tranquility of morning or after a long, tedious day.Their tongues intertwined with the passion to set the world ablaze. It didn’t take long for him to deftly unclasp her bra, tossing it aside with the other strewn attire. He kneaded her tits with ardor, spoiling himself in the ample shape that’d first caught his attention all those years prior.In return, Peri slid each suspender from his shoulders. Then she strayed down to his waistband, giving it a simple yank—a tacit request that was heard loud and clear. Trousers, denim shorts, purple panties, and briefs: gone like the wind.She laid beside Colin, a leg draped upon his. His cock was firmly upstanding, its head glistening with precome. The sheer sight of it made her mouth water. For a long moment she teased him by delicately skating her fingers along his perfect length and girth, caressing it as if it were the finest velvet. Then she wrapped her delicate hand around and began to stroke him long…and slow…savoring every bit of that entrancing undulation. All the while they sat in pleasant quietude, gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. Every so often their tongues would connect and she would giggle over some silly flirt that would flutter from his lips.As the sea abounds with vibrant ecosystems, wisdom and experience overflowed in Colin’s cool blues. Already he’d taught Peri a compendium worth of material about life and people and how to tie rigging to a ship’s mast, and she gorged on it all. Amazing the compendium of stories meticulously stored in that brain of his. It fascinated her utterly.A seductive glint in her eye, she slinked to posit herself between his legs. Her gaze unwavering from his, she bent down to give a long lap of his shaft before swallowing him whole. The bitterness of beer was replaced with the salty-sweetness of his arousal. Taking the base in her hand, she eagerly bobbed her head and swirled her tongue around him. Delighted breaths flowed from his lips. He pulled off the last of his attire—the ailurophilic shirt—and reached for his drink.“That’s it,” Colin murmured, raking his fingers through her hair. With a metallic clink the can was returned to its erstwhile location. “There’s a good girl.”Peri produced a faint, disapproving hum. Pulling herself away from her treat, she plucked an errant strand of hair from her tongue. “Your good girl,” she corrected.Colin grinned. “That’s right,” and placed his thumb upon her lips, to which she suckled gratefully. “Mine and mine alone. Times like these I derive great pleasure in being mean and miserly.”Peri nibbled her lip. “Tell me I’m yours forever,” she asked, as she proceeded to frig him as she did so well. Her voice was soft, yet assured.“You’re mine for always and eternity,” he replied.Through a smile of her own, Peri took a second to relish in the thought. Then, in an imitation of a mighty storm billow, she sprung up to sling her arms around Colin in a sweeping kiss. Enveloping her in a mighty embrace he devoured her, but quickly his lips drifted on, imprinting fervid kisses along her neck. She arched her back, granting him unfettered access to her perky tits, and he feasted like he hadn’t eaten in years. His touch was satin, his lips were stars.Once he’d had his fill she returned the favor, dotting his skin from cheek to chest with love pecks. When she made the return journey upwards, she kissed the curvature his ear. Curling a strand of his hair around her finger she whispered, “Fuck me.”Something of a snigger escaped him. It was low and growly and slightly mischievous. He seized her by the back of the head and, in one swoop, felled her to the sheets. “What’s the magic word?”It’s important to respect one’s elders. She scrunched her face into a cute puppy dog’s, adding a few batted lashes to boot. “Please?” she cooed, dangling her arms around his neck once again. “Can I please have Daddy’s cock? Pretty pretty please with rainbow sprinkles on top?”“That’s what I like to hear,” he said. “I’ll scrump my little girl silly.”No sooner was he deep inside her, and, goodness, was it just what she craved. Making love with him was as sensual as it was intense. Sex wasn’t a chore, but a ceremony. Every second of it was savoured as if a fine wine.Peri adored him, she did. Although a word so small couldn’t scratch the surface of what was truly coursing through her system. Personality aside, she adored every part of Colin: his enviably flawless skin that belied his age, his contagious smile, the twinkle in his eyes, his paunchy belly that rubbed against her stomach with every lunge. She adored the thicket of chest hair that led down to the bramble above his nether regions. It matched the one she sported (give or take a few scraggly strands) and this, in a strange sense, she enjoyed as well. Then there was the feathery hair atop his head and the coarse patch around his mouth that made her believe that maybe, just maybe, Santa Claus did exist.When he laid atop of her, she watched the flames of passion rage in his pupils. Listened to the grunts that melded with her own expressions of ecstasy. She loved how earnest he was with his hands and lips, admiring every inch of her body. She loved how, after all this time, those colorful socks remained on his feet (oh, that dashing self-confidence!). As they made love, she showered him in sweet somethings that spoke of these very things. He, too, did the same to her. Colin was no longer the slim and trim guy who sported a diamond earring and raided the Harley Davidson clothing racks, but so what? He was still just as handsome. Just as sprightly. Just was perfect.Moaning out his name, Peri collapsed into a heap on top of him. The warmth of her body melted into his. Rapture overtook her, and she quivered in his arms. Tightly he held her until she floated back to Earth. She sensed by the staggered moans he breathed upon her skin that he was close as well. Interweaving her fingers in his, she urged him to finish inside of her. He produced the final few thrusts and then, like the mirthful explosions of fireworks, he did.They stayed in each other’s arms for some time, basking in the afterglow. A fellow camper’s vehicle eased down the gravel path, the crackling of pebbles beneath their tires gradually dissipating. Crickets chirruped to one another. The Beatles’ “Across the Universe” began to drift through the airwaves.Moonlight beamed through the curtains. The heady scent of sex permeated the air, mingling with petering remnants of the sandalwood incense burned some time earlier. Together their hearts slowed to resting rates. The tip of her forefinger danced along the hairs of his chest. A faint smattering of sweat made them pliable to the touch.Peri basked in the quietude long enough to catch her breath. Then she murmured, “Colin?”Colin produced a quiet hum in response. “Yes?”“Don’t let me go.”He pecked her tenderly on the forehead. “Never, my darling,” he said. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”And this, she knew, was true. He’d said it in his vows that beautiful day in the Cotswolds, and she never tired of hearing it henceforth. Every day she was grateful to have such an amazing man in her life. She never envisioned it would happen. She was almost convinced that people like him only existed within the pages of a Nora Ephron film script. But there he was. And there was she.Colin hummed the melody under his breath, singing the odd word here and there until the chorus returned. This he sang with faultless accuracy. His voice drifted over Peri, daring to lull her to a pleasant slumber on the spot. So why fight it? She fluttered shut her eyes, and, from there, she imagined she was dancing.