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“See, Black Paladin,” the Trokelian says. “That wasn’t so hard.”Relief.It’s the first thing Keith feels.Well, that and ever-pulsing threads of agony all along his fingers.Then the alien turns back towards Keith, and fear replaces everything that came before.No, that’s not quite true.The fear is never very far away.Pidge is swearing, Hunk and Lance are talking over each other, and Shiro’s - Shiro’s not saying anything. Keith wishes he could tell Shiro that it’s fine, it really is, because there just aren’t are any good options. Sure, as far as the Trokelian cares, it doesn’t matter which paladin is dragged away and tortured for information, but anyone sane would point out that Shiro had been forced to make an impossible choice.All the same, Keith wishes it hadn’t taken quite so long for his friend to make it.After all, it’s not as if there was truly anyone else to choose.Don’t think that, part of his mind snarls. It sounds a lot like Shiro. You matter too. The other, louder part of his mind just laughs in harsh reply.Right, it sneers. Because I have so many people who are worried about me back on Earth. No, Keith tells the darker voice inside his head. That’s not why I’m doing this. I’m doing this - because - because -Without warning, the chain around his wrists are yanked upwards, forcing Keith’s arms above his head, as high as they can go. He grunts in pain before he can stop himself, unable to do anything but hang in place like a rag doll.Somewhere nearby, Hunk sounds like he’s trying to keep from retching. Ugh, that would have to be because of the way Keith’s fingers look. Broken and bent the wrong way, blood running across his wrists and down the back of his hands - if they look anything like they feel - Nausea roils in his stomach, but he fights it down. He doesn’t dare think about the pain too closely himself, not yet, but -“Time to go, Red Paladin.”Keith flinches, then tries to regain some small measure of self-respect by raising his head in time to see orange eyes glint back down at him. They shine weirdly in the cell’s light, but there’s no mistaking the mocking smile that the Trokelian directs towards him as the alien unclips the chain from the wall, still keeping the shackle locked around Keith’s neck.How considerate of the bastard, Keith thinks. I’ll be able to breathe on my way out the door. He’s too focused on not throwing up from the pain to properly articulate the sentiment, but at least he’s still able to think it.“- Now, let’s see how many more of your bones I can break before you do the same.”Keith’s stomach lurches jaggedly, and he closes his eyes again, fighting the urge to retch as the alien chuckles at his own dark joke.God, his wrists ache, and his fingers - no. Don’t think about it. Don’t show how much it hurts. Not yet. Not where the others can still see.He’s doing this because - because he refuses to let any of the others get hurt, at least, not while there’s something he can do to keep it from happening.Shiro hadn’t wanted to pick any of them, Keith knew that, but the Trokelian - Shiro hadn’t had a choice. Not really.It’s okay, Keith tells himself, wishing he could believe it. It’s okay. It’ll be fine. Coran and Allura will realize we’re missing soon. They’ll find us, and - Then the alien steps back, and as it turns to go, it uses the chains to drag Keith by his wrists along the floor, towards the door. Keith does his best to keep from crying out, but not because he’s brave or anything like that.Shit, if he’s being honest, he’s never been more scared in his life. The pain’s already more than he can manage without whimpering. Shattered bones and twisted ligaments aren’t exactly pleasant at the best of times, but getting dragged across the floor by the wrists when you have ten broken fingers is…Well.Torturous.God, it’s hard to breathe.He hates that this is just the warm-up. It’s going to get so much worse.Keith tries to shift his weight, to take some of the pressure off of his wrists, but the alien kept Keith’s ankles chained together, so there really isn’t anything Keith can do other than try not to pass out from the pain as he’s dragged by the wrists along the floor. Once they’re through the doorway of the cell, the Trolekian halts in his tracks, turns, and yanks on the chain around Keith’s wrists. The Red Paladin ends up kneeling on the floor, facing back towards his friends, just as the door begins to close.Even as the alien reaches for the door’s handle to pull it shut again, Keith manages to get enough breath back into his lungs to speak a few words.“-Sh-Shiro?”From here, Keith can’t know if his friend hears him, but he says it anyway.“-‘s - oka-“That’s all he has time for before the Trokelian hits him right across the face, hard.
Shut up.
The Trokelian doesn’t say actually speak those two words, but his meaning is clear.Keith tastes blood after the first blow, but decides against trying to spit it out. Instead, he just grimaces at the all too familiar prelude to what’s coming next. Another strike, right across the face, followed by a backhanded slap.Wow, this guy hits hard.Pidge shouts something, but the sounds are hazy, almost as if she’s trying to speak underwater.Part of Keith wishes he could reassure his friend by telling her the truth- that getting hit like this is - God.It’s something he’s used to.He can imagine her scowling at him, horror and rage melding in her expressions as she searches for the words she wants to say, something like, that’s so messed up, or, what the actual fuck, Keith -Another hit, more of a deliberate insult this time. See how powerful I am, it says. Don’t you want me to stop?This thing wants Keith to break, the faster the better, but Keith has never been one to conform to expectations.Anyway, he never had figured out how to respond to getting hit like this. Part of him wants to act like getting hit across the face doesn’t hurt at all, or at least, doesn’t faze him in the slightest.It wouldn’t be true, of course. It does hurt, and the truth is, the more you’re hit, the more it hurts.Keith tries to think of something else, anything else.Hah, he thinks. Sure, you hit hard, but my foster mother hits harder than you. More yelling, too. Actually, you two might really get along.But then, what does that say about Keith’s past?That you’ve had practice at this, part of his mind whispers. So, at least you’re good for something, even if it is only to be a punching bag. It’s not a nice voice. Keith hates it when this part of his mind shows up. He can hear his friends shouting through the still-open door. Lance and Pidge are still protesting. Hunk is too, as much as he can manage.“Hey! Hey, you sick, twisted son of - ““You don’t - have to - to - ““You disgusting, orange-eyed, grey-faced, spineless excuse for a -“But Shiro…Shiro’s not saying anything.Keith wishes the others didn’t have to see this,or hear it, but there’s not much he can do in his current position, other than remain as silent as possible.“Come now, Red Paladin.”The Trolekian’s taunting him again.“-You must have something to tell your friends before we begin.”Keith resolutely keeps his gaze fixed on the ground, even when another backhanded strike makes his vision waver and blur.He refuses to play this thing’s deranged mind games. Hell, it’s already hurt his friends enough.He isn’t going to help it hurt them more.The Trolekian tilts its head, almost inquisitively.“No?”Keith remains silent. It sighs, then mockingly shakes its head.“Shame.”Another strike, this time across the other side of his face. It’s not a strike that’s meant to injure his jaw, or knock out teeth.No, that won’t come now. Later, maybe, but…for now…it’s just to cause pain.After all, it’s easier to get information out of someone if they still have most of their teeth, and if their lips aren’t swollen too much. Enunciation, and all that other shit.Fuck, he hates introspection.Ow. That last strike had more force behind it. Not enough to damage Keith’s eyes or mouth, but enough to make his jaw ache and his sense of balance to momentarily abandon him.Hah, Keith thinks, ‘abandon him’. What a choice of words.He must have coughed out something like a choked laugh, then, because the Trolekian stops hitting him long enough to ask if he’d said anything.Keith just stays silent, keeps his eyes down, and doesn’t raise his head. It’s not that he’s choosing to be difficult, it’s just…Damn it, if he’s going to get hit or beaten up, he has no intention of giving this creep more incentive then it already has. Anything that might look like outright defiance isn’t going to be tolerated, now that the choice has been made.“Nothing else to say, Red Paladin?”The Trokelian leers down at Keith, head tilting slightly to one side, as if listening intently to whatever is happening on the other side of the half-open door. Even as he does so, the alien also intentionally allows the chain that was keeping Keith’s wrists suspended in the air to drop, and then come to an abrupt halt, mere inches off the floor.Fuck, that hurts. Keith’s already strangled breathing hitches, and his vision tunnels as he almost crashes forwards onto all fours. Instinctively, he brings his right elbow down on the ground in front of him, but the catch proves useless as both of his wrists are wrenched upwards once more, jarring his broken fingers cruelly.Something cries out in horrible agony near him, short and wordless and harsh and - what had he said, again? Before - before -Orange eyes glitter down at him, and sharp teeth gleam in the half-light.“Hmm. Such a pity.”Keith has no time to think before he receives another strike across the face, hard enough to cause his vision to waver and blur. God, the actual torture hasn’t even started yet, and he just wants the pain to stop. Maybe whatever made that sound wants the pain to stop, too, but there isn’t any noise this time. Maybe it can’t say anything else, because the pain is too much to -“-ut don’t fret. I like a challenge.”Another harsh yank on the chain around his wrists, and Keith can’t help but whine in wordless agony as the movement jostles his mutilated fingers. He desperately hopes his friends can’t hear this, but there’s no way to tell. His hearing’s already gone weird, although if it’s due to the adrenaline, or instead because of the repeated hits across the face, it’s impossible to say.God, please, let Allura and Coran get here soon, please, please, he can’t-“Although, I have to admit,” the alien says, finally continuing to drag Keith by the wrists further into the room. “I really thought that leader of yours would choose the blue one.”Keith wishes he had the mental capacity for snark, but it’s all he can do to bite his tongue as the pounding, burning, aching agony from his broken fingers pulses down his wrists, races along his forearms, and bleeds up and over his triceps muscles, towards his shoulders.Don’t talk, he tells himself. Don’t beg, don’t bargain, don’t do anything this thing can use against you. But despite himself, his mind keeps up a steady stream of silent, terrified gibbering.He can’t think, he can barely remember what it was like before the pain began, please, stop, please, fuck fuck fuck, it hurts, please please stop stop stop -“-at least that one’s talkative. Could have gotten all the information we needed out of him in half an hour, given the chance.”Inwardly, Keith shudders at the thought of Lance at this thing’s mercy. The Blue Paladin may talk a mile a minute, but focused, intentional cruelty of this sort would hurt him, badly. Lance shouldn’t have to go through something like that - “-but then, he would be the sort to break quickly, wouldn’t he?”For almost five full seconds, Keith doesn’t understand that the Trokelian is actually expecting an answer, but as the alien continues, Keith realizes that it is waiting for him to respond.“-eems to be the type you’d expect - lots of bluster, nothing of substance, more for show than-“Anger makes it through the pain, making Keith glare back up towards his tormentor.“-n—n—no-“ Keith growls, showing his teeth. “-‘s - n-not-”Orange eyes gleam in the dim light, and sharp teeth glint in a hideous grin. “Defensive, eh? Didn’t think you two would be friends. But then, I wonder how long you’ll last, Red Paladin.”The amusement is genuine, and Keith shudders before he can stop himself. At the memory of what this thing said it has in store for him, he can’t keep from trembling.
Break bones. Tear flesh. Send volts through -
Keith shudders again. His fingers and arms and - just - everything - already hurts so much. He doesn’t want to hurt more.Please, please let Allura and Coran get here soon. He can hold out for awhile, or at least, he’ll try to hold out for as long as he can, but -But the truth is, he isn’t sure how long that might be.It’s not because he’s trying to look brave, or play the hero, or anything badass like that.He just wants to keep from breaking until there is absolutely no other option.Back home, Keith knew some people who believed that they, surely, would never break under torture. That their iron will and their ‘inner strength’ would withstand any kind of force, or pain, or threat.But the truth was that no one was completely invincible. People broke, all the time. The where, or when, or how might differ, but the actual heart of the matter was always why.Its not as if Keith wants to break. Hell, he’ll delay it as long as he can, but…He swallows, pushing the thoughts away. At least it’s not one of the other Paladins, facing torture like this, getting parts of their soul torn away until hardly anything is left….No.It’s okay.After all….It’s only him.Are you crazy, are you insane, you’re just going to shut up and let them do this to you, you stupid, arrogant, selfish, suicidal bastard -Part of his mind is screaming, nearly wordless, unhinged in terror at what’s in store for him. It’s probably what little remains of his stunted sense of self-preservation.Keith does his best to ignore it. For once, years of practice come in useful. The terror doesn’t abate - how can it, he’s about to be tortured for information - but at least it recedes into the background, a little.It’s okay, he tells himself. It’s fine. Just - just, whenever it - whenever it starts - I’ll - I’ll try not to scream too loud, or else they’ll hear, and -That plan comes to an abrupt halt as the Trokelian stops walking, and Keith’s heart sinks inside his chest as he realizes where the torture is going to take place.Right here, in the room just on the other side of the cell door.He swallows once again, fear threatening to choke him.It makes a horrible kind of sense, torturing someone for information right by the cell they were kept in. Less distance to cover, before or afterwards. The continual fear and pain would factor in, too. Even after getting taken back to the cell, the prisoner wouldn’t be able to rest or fall unconscious without fearing the guard’s return.But that’s not what truly makes his blood run cold.His team’s in there.Tears prick at the corner of his eyes, and he can’t reach up to swipe them away.His team’s in there.As messed up as this situation already is, he’d hoped…he’d hoped that at least, his team wouldn’t have to hear him when -When it got bad.No.It’s already bad.When it gets really bad.The Trokelian locks the chains on a hook from the ceiling in the center of the room. Keith nearly bites through his own tongue in an effort to remain silent when his wrists are raised above his head, broken fingers and all. There’s just enough slack in the chain to allow Keith to remain on his feet, but only barely. God, his hands hurt, his arms, his shoulders.The real torture hasn’t even started yet, and Keith just wants it to be over. He wants it to just be over and done with, to black out or fall unconscious and wake up in the Castle, in a healing pod, with the others safe and sound nearby, but…That’s not going to happen.No. He’s not going to be that lucky.Instead, he’s going to be tortured by a sadistic bastard until he breaks. Not for the first time, the ever-ready part of Keith’s mind points out. Still, at least you know what's coming -Keith grinds his teeth, willing the anger to drown out the fear.Shut the fuck up, he snarls at that ever-present part of his mind, but it doesn’t shut up. It never does.Face it, Keith, it says, and it's almost like the voice takes on a physical existence of its own, coiling and curling around his shoulders and neck like smoke from a fire. You’re the perfect scapegoat. Any group, any reason, any time.Keith squeezes his eyes shut, but the invisible, inaudible voice only he can hear keeps talking, just like it always does.
You’re a loner. An outlier. No one wants you. You’re expendable. That’s why you told Shiro to choose you, isn’t it?
The Trolekian is somewhere nearby, rummaging through tools on a shelf near the far wall. Keith swallows once, hard, fighting the desperate, hopeless panic rising inside his chest.
God, please, not again. Not again. Please. It already hurts, so bad, please, not again, not again -
Something made out of metal clinks nearby, and Keith swallows again, his stomach roiling and churning with nausea. Oh, fuck, this is really going to suck.He’s completely exposed to any attack, from any side.He doesn’t want the other Paladins to hear him when he starts screaming, he doesn’t, but - it’s not like he can ask this asshole to move to Torture Room B.Keith knows he’s not going to get out of this without scars, physical or otherwise.It sucks, but it’s the truth.As his armor is removed, Keith keeps his expression as blank as possible, eyes locked straight ahead of him, on the far wall.It’s only when the alien goes behind him and begins ripping away at the top of Keith’s flight suit that Keith loses what little remains of his ability to just ignore what’s happening.He can’t help it. The armor was one thing. He figured that it was going to be taken off him, but God damn it, Keith is not going to just let this thing tear more of his clothing away.He snarls, kicking one leg out behind him, as hard as he can. His heel connects solidly, and from the grunt of surprise and lack of sinister invective behind him, it was probably somewhere sensitive.Good.Despite the pain he’s still in, Keith smiles a small, grim smile. At least he landed one good hit before - Footsteps in the hall, voices he doesn’t know, then a rush of movement all around him.Shit, they’re angry, but Keith doesn’t stop fighting until a clawed hand snags the iron collar around his neck and yanks it down and backwards, yanking Keith’s chin up as far as it will go, forcing his back to arch into a painful position, until Keith can only see the ceiling.“Hold him still!”More hands, more faces, more angry shouts and threats. Keith wishes he could snarl words of defiance at the things around him, but it’s all he can do to keep his breathing steady.
No, not where they can hear, come on, Keith, don't -
He can’t regain his balance, or even kick out at one of his captors again, but damn it, he’s got to do something.Keith tries turning his head around and biting the hand that’s keeping him in place, but his teeth snap shut on empty air, even as something made out of fabric is pulled over his eyes, knotted behind his head, and then the collar is yanked backwards, again, until Keith is facing the ceiling once more.Heavier shackles snap into place around his ankles, the chain around his wrists pulling even tighter, further constraining what little movement he still has.
He can take the torture, the beatings, the mockery and contempt, but please, please - not -
A jagged metal blade slices across his shoulder blades, tearing through the fabric, and against his will, Keith cries out in fright. Someone chuckles derisively before a foot slams into the back of his knees, and he loses his balance, crashing sideways, into a figure that’s standing much too close. Claws, sharp and careless, tear off a sleeve of his flight suit, and Keith flinches violently away from them, but what he fears most does not happen.Eventually, most of his flight suit is torn off him, but at least he’s still wearing enough of it to count as clothing. It’s not much, but it’s something.Technically. This will really make a difference, the darker voice in his mind taunts as the grip on the collar vanishes, allowing Keith’s head to fall forwards.Shut up, he tells his mind. Shut up, shut up, shut up -Then the first Trokelian speaks, and the wrath in his words sends fear curling through Keith’s guts.“As I said, I do enjoy a challenge.”Then something comes into harsh contact with his skin, stinging sharply across his back. “That Yellow Paladin - he’s stronger than you, right?”Keith hisses through his teeth. That was a whipping rod, probably. Hurts like a son of a bitch, but it doesn’t have any metal edges to cut with. Not that it’ll feel any different, though, given enough time.“Hmm. Seems as if he’d have had the strength to take a beating-”One of the newcomers chuckles evilly in the background. Oh, great. These creeps are going for the full evil torture chamber atmosphere.“- but then, the Yellow Paladin is useless, when it counts. Those weak ones always ar-“Anger, fierce and familiar, is almost comforting. Keith snarls his answer before he can stop himself.“He’s not weak!”One of the nameless figures steps forwards and shoves Keith off balance so his bruised wrists take his full weight, making it even more difficult to get air into his lungs then before.God, god, god, it hurts, it hurts so fucking much, please, please, stop stop stop stop-“Oh, I see. Defending your friends, eh? So, you think you’re the strong one?”Another flick of the unseen whipping rod, and this time, the full force of the blow connects with Keith’s ribs.
Don’t answer. Don’t react. Not now. Not where his team can still hear him.
“All right then -"Another strike, and this time, Keith snarls as the skin across his torso tears open and the blood begins to trickle down."- let’s see just how strong you are.”Pain, again, different this time. How can it be so different, each time? It’s just - more of the same - right? -“Pathetic.”Another blow, but more from something like a club than a whipping rod - fuck, Keith hates that he can tell the difference so easily - but - but he can’t see, he can’t even brace for what’s coming next, damn it, he’s weak, he’s useless -“That young one showed more spirit than you - I wonder how she would -“No, no, not Pidge. Not Pidge. Not Pidge.Keith lunges forwards, not caring about his broken fingers, or the pain across his chest, or his back, because damn it all, he will rip out this bastard’s throat with his teeth before allowing him to so much as look at Pidge again -The voice changes place mid-word, as if the person speaking had hastily stepped to one side.“My, my, my. You really do like to play the hero, don’t you?”Keith snarls wordlessly in reply, because fuck no, that’s not why he’s doing this, he’s doing this because he wants the others to not get hurt, and if that means being the one to get beat up or tortured or whatever, then fine, he’ll fucking deal with it -But despite his resolve, Keith barely stifles a scream when the next blow hits him right across the back of the knees again, making it all but impossible to stand. He’d have fallen to the floor, if the chains hadn’t held him up. Then the whine of charging electricity hits, and everything goes white as that pain wipes everything else out of existence.Please, no more, enough, please, I don’t -The electrical currents break off as sharply as they had begun. Keith doesn’t have any strength left to try and stand up straight again, so he remains where he is, hanging by his wrists. Without warning, the chains fall slack, and Keith’s knees hit the ground hard enough to jar every bone in his body.It fucking hurts, but he’s able to keep from screaming, mostly because it happened so fast that before he’s able to catch his breath, and then his arms are raised above his head once more.They keep him kneeling, though…so…God, he can’t think.At least he doesn’t have to stand up anymore…right…?Someone’s hand runs tauntingly through his hair, and Keith twists away from the mockingly affectionate touch. The fingers latch on to his hair, jerking his head to one side, and Keith can’t help but inhale sharply when another knife tip slices across his right cheekbone. He hates this, the way this thing can pretend to care, and then -Another knife, this one with a sharp and jagged edge, snags on Keith’s left shoulder, and his world goes red with agony as it tears away more of his skin. The patches where his skin's been torn away ache and burn, all at once, and even the slightest breath of air against the ragged edges is agony.Someone's sobbing. He wishes he could shut out the noise, but -"Ah. So you are capable of speech."The satisfaction in his tormentor’s words hurts almost as much as the electrocution did.He can’t see. He can’t think. But above all, he can’t scream.He can’t.They’ll hear him.The pain never pauses, never wavers, never ends, but from time to time, it does change.The Trolekians tear off more of his skin, then break a few more bones in his arms before they go back to the electricity.At some point, they clamp iron bracers around his forearms, more to make it easier for them manipulate his arms, wrists and fingers without him blacking out from the pain it causes him.“Had enough yet?”Keith grits his teeth and desperately wishes he were brave enough to answer with a witty response.Instead, all he can manage is silence.His muscles keep spasming unpredictably. The pain in his hands, where his fingers still hang twisted and broken, is awful. He can't fall unconscious. He can barely keep his head upright. He doesn’t know how anyone could put together coherent words in a state like this.The hum of charging electricity grows louder. Keith flinches automatically, but just like before, he can’t move away from the source of the pain.“How do you summon your bayard?Keith squeeze his eyes shut, grinds his teeth even more tightly together, and wishes he were brave enough to keep from starting to cry.More electricity. This time, the voltage is higher than before. The lights are so bright.He can’t do this. He can’t.…but…he has to…or else…“How do you summon your bayard?”The same question, but the tone of voice is different. They’re getting impatient.Keith tries to swallow, but can’t manage it. His throat is too dry. Please, Allura, Coran, hurry, please, please hurry -When he doesn’t answer, one of the unseen figures standing next to him snarls and -Horrible, blinding pain hits him like a truck, and It’s almost ten full seconds before a terrible realization begins to dawn.It’s been too long.…Allura and Coran…they aren’t…Something near him laughs. It’s a horrible sound, crawling up Keith’s spine and locking onto his worst fears.“Figured it out, have you?”No. Please…no…“That Castleship of yours is ten thousand years obsolete. Without your Lion, that Princess friend of yours has no way to pinpoint your location.”Keith doesn’t want to believe the voices. But…it’s been so long… Maybe he is alone.“So you might as well tell us, Red Paladin. How do you summon your bayard?”….Is there any part of him that doesn’t hurt…?Keith’s voice is rough, almost inaudible.“…I….I….”He coughs, unable to continue. Metal edges tear across his skin once more, and Keith arches his back and screams, again.“-I - don’t - know - I just - I - “Burning agony sears into his back. He cries out, hating himself for it, unable to move, unable to see, unable to do anything except wish he were unconscious, because at least that would allow him to forget,even for just a few seconds, that he’s been abandoned, yet again.“-I don’t know, I don’t fucking know, okay?!”“If you don’t tell us something useful in the next five seconds, I’m going to drag your friends out here, so they can watch us tear the flesh off of your bones.”Keith knows truth when he hears it, and something finally breaks apart inside his heart.He can’t let that happen. He can’t.“-I just - I g-get really fucking pissed off, and - and then it - just - “A sharp knife slices across his face, and more blood runs down, over the blindfold, trickling into his mouth. Keith gags on the taste of it, tries to spit it out onto the ground, right as someone backhands him across the face, then yanks him back up by the hair until he’s facing them again.“That’s it?”Another blow across the face, another blinding pulse of pain that encompasses Keith’s entire world. His head rocks backwards, and he would have fallen onto the ground if it weren’t for the chains around his forearms and wrists.Another blow, another blinding wave of pain. Keith’s not sure how long he can keep quiet. Against his will, tears start to form at the corners of his eyes.“ - ‘m - n-not - s-smart - I - I j-just - f-fight-““This one is wasting our time.” Someone snarls. “Go get the others. Maybe they’ll -“In that moment, Keith loses what little self-restraint he had clung onto throughout this entire hellish ordeal. He wishes he could be angry, but anger has deserted him along with any semblance of stoicism. It still takes every last shred of energy he has to speak. He can barely make himself say the words.“Please - d-don’t - please -“Up until now, he hasn’t pleaded or begged, not once. Now that he has…Something in the atmosphere in the room changes. Where before there was a sense of boredom, now there’s a sense of slow, malicious realization that the fun’s only just begun.Fingers clutch him around the throat, and Keith chokes as the grip goes tighter, restricting his air.“So. You can be broken, after all.”Keith can only choke in reply. It hurts, so bad, but the others shouldn’t have to get hurt, please, that’s why he volunteered, please, don’t - “Now, I think, we’ll finally get some answers.”The grip around his neck goes tighter, just enough to make Keith’s heart leap into panicked overdrive. He wants to cry. He wants to scream. He wants to kick, to bite, to do something, anything, to prove that he’s not broken, he’s not….He’s not…right…?The grip around his neck tightens. Keith bucks and twists in blind panic, unable to do more than gurgle pathetically as laughter makes its way around the room.He's almost glad for the blindfold in this moment. The only thing worse then struggling to breathe is being forced to sustain eye contact with the things taking pleasure in your desperate struggles to survive.That threat - to bring the others out here- it terrifies Keith in a way that he’s never felt before.Not the others. Please, not the others. They shouldn’t have to see this. The thought of asking these people for mercy is laughable, and if it were just him in the line of fire, Keith would rather die then beg for mercy.He learned a long time ago that begging people like this for mercy never led to anything good. If anything, it only made them more eager to humiliate and destroy you.But - these things are going after Keith’s friends - and that thought scares him more than anything else ever could.So, instead of retaining his last vestiges of dignity, Keith finally breaks. “-se - ‘se, d-"Even now, someone’s unlocking the door to the cell. There’s laughing, and muttering, and Keith doesn’t have any time left before the others -Something grabs hold of his broken arm and yanks down on it, hard.Keith retches miserably, nearly sobbing when his arm is released.It’s not as if he had retained much dignity up to this point, so the difference to an outside point of view is hardly noticeable.But Keith is terrified of what’s coming.Movement.A door creaks open.More noise. But nothing changes.“Surely there must be one of the Paladins that means more to you than the others?”Keith doesn’t understand the question.He says so, or at least, he thinks he says so, but they don’t take it as an answer.He just…He doesn’t understand.The other paladins - they’re his friends.Each in their own way, of course, but…It’s not the answer these things want.They hurt him some more, then drag him back into the cell. They leave the blindfold on, and Keith is almost glad for it, because he doesn’t think he could manage looking at any of the other paladins right now.The Trolekians drag Keith back into the cell and just…They leave him lying there in the center of the room, just out of his friends reach.Pidge nearly chokes herself in her efforts to reach him, but it’s in vain.It isn’t even ten minutes later that the Trolekians return and drag Keith away once more.Keith barely stirs when they come to take him away again.Pain.It never ends.Keith wishes it would, just for a second.He can’t see. He can’t think. He can barely speak.Keith wishes the pain would stop.He doesn’t think he can keep doing this. But if he doesn’t -Hasn’t he already told them everything he knows?“Nothing more to say?”He doesn’t know enough details about how Voltron works. They’re pissed, so fucking pissed, but Keith fights to get air back into his lungs, knowing he has to save his breath. He’s going to need it.“All right, then.”Something made out of iron and steel slams into the side of Keith’s left leg. He tries and fails to keep from crying out in despair, tears starting at the corners of his eyes at just how fucking broken and pathetic this is.Fuck, fuck, fuck.Not even a day in, and he’s already breaking. He can’t do this.But he has to.Otherwise -“Come on, Red Paladin. Stand up straight for us.”Another blow, this time to his right leg. It shatters.Keith can’t help it. He screams.Fuck his life.He’s lying on the floor. Keith doesn’t remember how he got down here, but he’s fairly certain it involved another beating. Given the circumstances, that seems the most feasible explanation.He tries to rise, but something made out of metal rams against the side of his skull, and his arms -His arms and legs just sort of - stop listening to him.He’s not being mind controlled.He’s just been hit hard enough on the head where his limbs decide it’s a good time to go useless.
Just like him.
A Trolekian leans down, grips both of Keith’s bound hands in his, and squeezes, swiftly increasing the pressure.Keith shrieks in agony, his voice breaking as the alien smiles grimly down at him.Pain, awful, searing, crushing pain. It hurts, so bad, but he can’t rest. They’ll never let him rest again.“Tell us what else you know, now.” The anger in the voice burns almost as badly as the electrical current did. Another one of them kicks him in the stomach again. Keith’s guts ache, but there’s nothing to throw up. They haven’t really punched him across the face yet, or at least, not hard enough to break his jaw or make him lose teeth.They still want him to talk.Clawed fingers sink into his hair, wrench his head back up, and force Keith to turn his face towards -More noise, coming from the far side of the room.Keith can’t make out who’s there, but he’s not supposed to. Someone must be coming in from outside, then…but why would anyone look for him…?He doesn’t know….or if he ever did, he can’t remember.Something pricks at the base of his neck. As if in slow motion, Keith realizes that he’s been injected with something.Poison?No. Worse.Truth serum.There are voices, so many voices, but he can’t understand what’s going on around him. All he knows is that the pain isn’t stopping, it’ll never stop-He can’t breathe, he can’t think, he can’t do anything except make these pathetic, broken noises -“Tell us how to summon your Lion.”Keith groans, wishing he could just fall unconscious, but no. They’re not done with him yet.“…’t I…don’t…”Rational thought vanishes as pain flares into life once more, radiating from the fingers on his right hand. One of the Trolekians is twisting them further out of place.Keith can’t help but wail, then. It’s ragged, and faint, and it tears apart his already ruined throat, but he doesn’t care anymore. It hurts. It hurts so fucking much. If he knew how to summon Red, he’d tell them, because he just wants to stop hurting. Please. Please, please stop.“…n’t…know…she’s just…there…”Ugly laughter, right behind his ear, other voices joining in the laughter as claws rake down and across his back, tearing through what few patches of skin that remained whole across his shoulders.He’s pathetic, he’s broken, he’s worthless and useless and -Keith doesn’t understand why he’s still half-awake after everything they’ve done to him. Any normal person would have either died or completely passed out by now, but no, not him, not the half-Galra. Yeah, the Trolekians had been really interested in that, too.“Cry out for your mother, half-breed, go on-“He hadn’t, because he knew it was pointless, but god, that entire exchange had hurt in ways he hadn’t known it still could.Fuck his life.He did something, he can’t remember what, though.There had been…someone crying…nearby…not him…but….Keith had….He’d said something…Something….
“…of all…the threats…you’ve…used…’s that…’s…the…only one…’s…doesn’t…matter…”
Foul breath on his face.
“And why’s that, half-breed?”
Managing a tired half-smile, because maybe, that way, the truth would hurt a little less.
“ - cause…she‘s…never…g-gonna…notice…”
A snarl, another hit across the face, meant more to cause pain than inflict damage.
Keith takes it, because he knows how to take that kind of hit. It was one of the first things he ever learned to do after he lost his home.
“Useless whelp-“
Another strike, harder this time.
Apparently, Keith’s lack of a satisfying reaction hasn’t gone unnoticed.
Still, he can’t bring himself to shrink or cower away from the blows. He had, before, back on Earth, the first few times, but eventually…
Well.
If they were going to hurt you anyway, you might as well be as annoyingly unfazed as possible, until you couldn’t - pretend - anymore -
The third strike - when it connects with the right side of his face -
It’s different.
Something breaks against his cheekbone, tiny sharp spikes of pain burrowing into the skin…
Was that…glass…?
Did the bastard just hit him hard enough…to break a glass gem in a ring it was wearing?
Fucking -
Another strike, same place, same -
Okay, that really fucking hurt.
As the fist hauls back once more, readying another strike, Keith flinches away, afraid that those tiny shards of glass could get into his eye and -
Laughter, then claws grip his chin, force him to face forwards, keeping his head in place until the next strike lands.
Keith swallows, unable to articulate his thoughts, but he understands, now.
He’d been wrong before.
Smiling didn’t take away any of the pain.
Not then. Not now. Not ever.
The truth hurt, every time. He doesn’t know what else he did…but…He got hit a few more times for….whatever he did. Or maybe that was just…because he hadn’t told them about how the bayards worked, yet, or…God, he can’t remember.He doesn’t know if he’s talking, or screaming, or both, or neither. Not anymore.Everything is pain.Light, sound, motion, everything brings pain, and it will never, ever release its hold on him.Whiteness keeps surging into his vision, but not relief, never relief, nothing as kind as that. The pain tethers Keith to existence like an anchor. …If he had any energy left….he would…hate…this…awful…nothingness…Someone’s crying, but it’s fainter than it was earlier. It’s not him, he knows that, but he doesn’t know who else it could be.It hurts so fucking much.Keith can’t keep himself from keening weakly when someone steps on his left shoulder, pinning him face first onto the ground. It’s not whining, not really, it’s just…everything hurts so bad, and it’s not stopping, but even so, he tries to stay as quiet as he can.The trolekians gag him anyway.He’s almost grateful, as messed up as that is.The screaming before then was too loud, for too long.He doesn’t want his team to hear that.It hurts, to hear that.It hurts so fucking much.Darkness.God, he wants to stay here.Someone screams directly into his ear.WAKE UPKeith jolts back to consciousness, and the pain it brings with it.The blindfold and gag are still on, but he senses something standing over him, something huge and angry and snarling, furious that he’d had even a half-instant free from pain.What are you trying to do, trying to prove that you’re some kind of hero? Keith almost starts laughing. Not because anything about this is funny, but because, if anything, this is all feels far too familiar. Saying something the person standing above you doesn’t like, getting hit until you choke on your own blood and have no choice but to stay quiet, and then - fuck his life - being too stubborn to learn from the experience.Whoever this is reaches down, grabs Keith by the hair, and slams his head down onto the ground. It was - well, not completely unexpected, but Keith feels as if he should have known something like this was coming.Everything he’s learned in his life so far points that this is the way the world works. You talk back, you get hit, you go down. The smart ones stay down, or at least get somewhere where they can try to learn how to stand again. But him?He’s never been smart.Might never be, now.His head hurts. It’s never really stopped. His skull doesn’t explode with pain. It simply is, like the sky is blue or the clouds are white or he is alone.It just is.The voices in his head are back, and they’re taunting him, telling him that he’s useless, he’s going to die here, alone, friendless -Keith remains silent, unable to shut them out.Then he’s back in his body, lying on the ground, with a foot pressing down against the back of his neck, laughter all around him as whoever this is forces Keith’s mouth down against the floor, grinding his face into the stone.But it’s not like it matters, right?It’s not like he matters.The others do, because…because they’re them. But Keith is just…Keith. He doesn’t matter.Never did.Never will.Strange. The aliens aren’t asking any more questions. They’re just…laughing. Keith wishes they would let him fall unconscious again, or at least stop scraping his face against the floor. But maybe he deserves this.Not sure, how, exactly…but…Despair seeps into his soul, and this time, Keith can’t fight against it. No strength left to fight, nothing, nothing to do but endure it and just - hope that maybe - maybe he’ll fade, soon, and never wake up.The foot leaves the back of his neck, but returns a moment later. Keith barely so much as twitches in response, even as the pressure increases.It’s not because he’s unaffected.If anything, he’s just too exhausted to do more than wince at the increase in pain.He already hurts, so much. The details don’t really register anymore.Instead, it just…hurts...His body is broken. Maybe his mind, as well. Not sure if there are any pieces left to stitch back together, not after this.At least the others are still whole and well. It’ll be easier for them to replace one Paladin instead of five…right?-so easy to break you,” one of the figures above him jeers, “-ardly any real fun at all-“Keith’s mind whites out with pain when the right side of his face is slammed against the floor again, but with it comes a startling millisecond of clarity.Hah, Keith thinks, that’s right, fuckers, you’re stuck with the broken one, have fun with that.Then the beating continues, and the moment of clarity vanishes.All he can taste now is gravel, dirt, and blood. It doesn’t feel like he’s missing any teeth, but that’s just because up until now, they’d needed him to talk. Now that they don’t…Fingers, yanking on his hair, forcing him to turn his head to the side before slamming him back down onto the floor, cold stone against the right side of his face.He can’t see.He can’t talk, either.Voices, above him, behind him, around him, laughing, taunting. Someone’s booted foot slams into his left shoulder again. Keith keens weakly, writhing on the ground, unable to escape the pain. His wrists are bound behind him, newly connected to the chain that binds his ankles together.“Think we should kill him?”Someone whines wordlessly, fear and pain in the sound.No, please, don’t, I don’t - please - “What do you think, mutt?”Keith groans and thrashes in place, desperately trying to shake his head from side to side, because no, no, please, he doesn’t want to die here, please -Clawed fingers press down hard over the left side of his face, forcing his head to remain still against the ground. Even hogtied as he is, panic pumps through Keith at the touch, and he tries to recoil from the grip. All this time, he hasn’t stopped squirming, because if he stops moving -He’ll be dead.Terror finally renders Keith as still as a statue in the instant something cold and sharp rests against the point where Keith’s skull and spine meet at the back of his head.He’s going to die.“So easy to do, really. Almost no fun at all.”The voice is cold, calculating, almost bored, even as the blade’s tip begins tracing a line up towards the corner of Keith’s eye.“Almost. But not quite.”Keith bites down harder on the gag shoved between his teeth to keep from making any more sounds, but he can’t keep from trembling, or the tears from starting to fall again.This is going to hurt.Worse, everyone watching is going to enjoy it.“Aww, it’s crying now.” The knife tip flicks, a wound opens up, and Keith screams through the gag as the injury across his face begins to burn like fire.Whoever is holding him down against the floor sighs in contentment.“That’s better. But louder, please. We want your friends to hear you.”Another slashing motion, another horrible, tearing pain across the other side of Keith’s face.He screams again, writhing in place. The sound is muted and muffled by the gag, but still audible. Mostly.“There. Now you look more like a Galra. Maybe that mother of yours will be able to find you now.”The pain across his face burns so fiercely, Keith’s afraid he’ll go mad. It hurts, it hurts, please stop, please, please- He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to die. The fingers increase the pressure against his face, a horrible, casual cruelty conveyed in one gesture.Stay down.Keith’s world spirals further into pain, but his hearing remains. God, his head hurts. Copper and rust.He’s choking on blood.Keith writhes and squirms, trying to get air back into his lungs, but it’s nearly impossible. He’s pinned face-down on the ground, and he can’t see, can’t move, can’t talk.But why would he want to survive this?He betrayed his team. They won’t want him anymore. Not after this. But that’s what he’s so damn good at, isn’t he?Failing.No one will want him after this.Fuck, no one had wanted him before this.He’s such an idiot.No one wants a failure.No one wants someone broken, or strange, or quiet.He’s all of those things.Everything he is…. never should have been…Fuck, he wishes this was over.He’d never been good at making friends, Or keeping them….But he never wanted, like, one special person or soul mate or whatever, just….He’d only…ever… wanted….Friends.It sounded crazy, but…It was true.He just wanted to belong somewhere, with people who could accept him for just…being him. There’s a sense of space opening up between him and the aliens around him, as if they all take a step backwards at the same time.Keith doesn’t understand. Why would they do that? He can barely remember his own name, everything hurts so badly.He wonders if Allura and Coran will ever find them. Or…maybe….maybe they’re just…not coming.Still that awful silence, stretching onwards. After what feels like an eternity, the truth finally sinks in.He’s alone. He’ll always be alone.Keith does the only thing he can do. He closes his eyes and wishes he were dead. It’s not the first time he’s felt this way, but this is the first time he has honestly hoped that the pain would stop, no matter the consequences, at any cost. He just wants the pain to stop.Someone calls him by name.Keith doesn’t bother answering.It’s either a hallucination, or a trick. There’s no way that any of these assholes would call him by name, and there’s no way the others would bother with him now. He’s useless. He broke under torture, and the other Paladins won’t want him anymore. Allura will hate him, again, and this time for being both a traitor and for being part-Galra, and Coran won’t leave Allura, not ever.Someone turns him onto his back, and Keith decides its just better not to fight back anymore. All he’s good for is fighting, but if he fights back now, then the aliens will hurt the others. Even if he’s worthless, he still can’t let that happen.Something’s underneath his head, supporting his neck, and there’s still a voice, still saying his name, and it sounds like they care about him. Keith frowns, and wishes this dream would stop. It’s always worse to have dreams about mattering to someone, because then he has to wake up and deal with reality.More voices. He can’t place them. Something jostles his broken leg, and Keith can’t keep from whimpering. One of the voices around him is higher than the others, but it breaks off sharply as another one interjects.“—orget it, we can’t move him like this- “The words send a shudder of fear along Keith’s spine. The very thought of any movement whatsoever both exhausts and terrifies him. He wishes he could pass out, but his body is much too stubborn to simply power down at will.All around him, the voices continue, but he can’t focus on any of the words long enough to make sense of what’s going on.But then, he never needed to know what was going on, did he?No. He just needed to be able to fight, and rush into the fray, and take the worst hits so the others wouldn’t get hurt.That’s all he had ever needed to do..and he’d been so, so good at it…until he broke.But breaking was…or…eventually had…to be…expected.Something breaking….wasn’t so bad. Not if it was expendable.And Keith knew he was expendable.He’d known it for a long, long time.But it wasn’t until that moment in the cell that he’d been glad for it.He hadn’t wanted to break. Not unless it was the only thing left to do.And there, in that cell…He hadn’t wanted the others to get hurt.That’s why he told Shiro to choose him.Torture wasn’t…Keith hadn’t wanted to go through that, but….Keith would choose protecting his friends over keeping his sanity any day of the fucking week.Whoever was saying his name isn’t talking anymore.Something about the voices is different, but Keith doesn’t care, if he ever did. It’s so loud. It’s so bright. And…everything hurts, so bad. Keith can’t keep the tears back any longer. He doesn’t want to be awake anymore. He doesn’t want to here anymore. All he wants to do is rest, but there’s never time, there’s never time to rest, not for someone who’s just supposed to take the hits and keep going, because the people who actually mattered were counting on him and would get hurt unless he did his job and took the worst of the -“-what the fuck is -“It hurts. He can’t think. He can’t see. He can’t even hear right.Some of the voices are closer now, and Keith whines in distress as he realizes that he’s surrounded on all sides. He doesn’t want to get hurt again, please, no more, just - just end it, please.Someone’s wrapping what might be cloth around his mangled arm - he thinks about fighting them, but he can’t fight anymore, not like this, not if it means the others will get hurt instead -A lot of blood has dried over his eyelids, crusting them shut, and Keith knows he can’t use his arms to get the dried blood off - and his ruined fingers hurt - he’s not sure even the pods could heal them now, even if the Alteans forgive him long enough to let him back into the Castle - A gentle blue glow appears some way in front of him, and Keith flinches back, because light means electricity and he can’t do that again, please, not again - Pidge places one hand gently on the left side of Keith’s face, and then, gingerly, she moves her thumb back and forth over his cheek.Tension immediately bleeds out of his expression, and he slumps forwards, leaning into her touch.“How did you know that would work?” Lance whispers. Pidge half-shrugs. “I - my mom - used to do this when I was - little. I thought - maybe, you know…it might help.”Hunk swallows, unsure of what to say.“Good job,” He finally manages. Someone’s moving the hair out of his face.He’s not even certain he can talk, but all the same, he tries.
Please, don’t, no, please, no more, please -
He can’t manage it.