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I Love You No Matter WhatSet in the middle of season 2The characters are not mine are by Martin GeroChapter 1The team was undercover to catch drug and gun traffickers supplying Sandstorm; their leader, Nicolaj Socolov, was known for his ruthlessness, rumor had it that he had tortured and killed one of his clients because he had not been able to pay him immediately.Kurt and Jane would have to arrest them and Reade, Tasha and Patterson would have been backups in case of need. Yes, there was also Patterson on the field, she had insisted on coming too and Weller had not objected, he knew that he would not win a conversation with the blonde.Jane and Kurt were inspecting the complex, they had found no one, only a few kilos of amphetamines and some machine guns, right down to the last door.when they entered the room, it was dark, they thought they were alone, perhaps the traffickers were replenishing their arsenal; suddenly Weller heard a male voice."Don't move or she's dead!" the voice warned.A second later the lights went on and Kurt found himself with four men holding him at gunpoint, but this was the least of her problems: in front of him Socolov was holding a gun aimed at Jane's temple while holding her pinned against of itself."Are you cops ?!" he asked him screaming.When neither of them answered Nicolaj pressed the gun harder against Jane's temple."We're with the FBI, we ended up by accident," Weller lied, he had to make sure Jane was safe."On your knees!" one of the criminals ordered him, not wanting Jane to get hurt, he followed the order."What do we do with them boss?" one of the men asked."Do we kill them?" asked another."Yes, I don't want witnesses, but first ..." Nicolaj began as his hand crawled over Jane's stomach."I want to have some fun with this little bitch" he concluded with a disturbing smile printed on his face, while his hand moved further down to the hem of the tattooed woman's shirt.Jane's eyes were fixed on the void, when she was at the CIA she joked about her but that man seemed to be serious, her thoughts were interrupted by Kurt's voice."Jane, look at me, it'll be fine." He tried to reassure both her and himself.Socolov's hand crawled under Jane's shirt, the woman gasped as she closed her eyes.Weller could sense Jane's fear, he could understand it even though her emerald eyes were closed."You said you wouldn't hurt her!" Kurt yelled."I said I wouldn't kill her, not that I wouldn't touch her," the head grinned in response.Jane was afraid, she was so afraid, it was not difficult to understand what the man's intentions were, she was afraid for herself, for Weller that she would see everything and she could not do anything otherwise they would have killed them both.the man's hand went further up her until it reached her breast, Jane jumped when Nicolaj began to squeeze, laugh and make comments."Oh, I really think I'll have a lot of fun"The tattooed woman would have liked to rebel, but the man's grip on her was too strong, even if he could free himself they would not be able to get out of that room alive."stop that!" Kurt's anger flared up when he saw the man's filthy hand reach Jane's chest.Socolov grinned and brought his hand up to the hem of the woman's trousers and began undoing them."You still haven't understood that whatever you say or do I won't stop until I get what I want!""And what is it you want?" Weller asked, hoping that he would be able to save Jane from this suffering."You see, my men and I have been working for days ... and we need some fun ... and your friend is just right for us" retorted the boss.Her filthy hand slipped under the elastic of Jane's pants, she tried to shake it off but couldn't.Jane felt her hand go even lower, under her panties, she felt him touch and fill it between her legs, at which she visibly winced and a single tear ran down her cheek."NO! JANE! " he heard Weller scream in despair "LEAVE HER ALONE!""shut up!" said a man hitting him in the face with his gun."Jane, please look at me" Kurt pleaded, when she finally looked into his eyes, he could see her fear in her gaze."Jane, I'm here, everything will be fine," he said, even though he didn't believe it either.Suddenly Nicolaj slammed the tattooed woman to the ground, two of his henchmen went to help him keep Jane immobilized on the ground.The woman felt her pants slip off, everything was blurred, as if she were underwater, she could barely hear Weller's desperate screams.Jane screamed in pain when Socolov thrust her member inside her, she wasn't ready, it hurt like hell, the three months of torture by the CIA paled in comparison."NO!" Kurt yelled, his eyes full of tears.The pain increased as he started moving inside her and she couldn't help but scream, she was crying for the pain, for the humiliation, and for the knowledge that Weller would see it all."Jane, look at me," he called softly but frantically, she looked at him."Focus on me, Jane, I'm here" and so he did, Jane never took her gaze away from Kurt's shining eyes, as the boss moved faster and faster inside her, jolting every time he hit her hard.Weller wanted to hold her in her arms and keep her safe, comfort her.They maintained eye contact the entire time, while the five traffickers raped Jane in turn.When the last man was finished with her, Jane was bleeding and in pain, her face stained with tears as well as Weller's, the woman curled up on her side in a vain attempt to protect herself from another attack."So boss, are we going to kill them now?" asked a trafficker."I don't know ... he definitely, but she could be our personal whore" replied the boss with a grin.Kurt saw Jane stiffen and shake more than before, her eyes focused on her bloodstained thighs, but he quickly looked away from her, he couldn't bear to see her like that."well!" Nicolaj suddenly exclaimed."You're going to die," he said pointing to Weller."And you, you'll have a lot of fun with us," he continued, pointing to Jane.The men prepared to shoot the deputy director, his team chose just that moment to break in with the Alpha team."FBI, freeze!"Kurt rushed to Jane, still curled up on the ground, and hugged her in her arms.The Alpha team arrested the traffickers and took them in the van bound for federal prison."What the hell took you so long ?!" Kurt yelled, red with anger.The team's eyes focused on Jane, in Weller's arms as she cried, blood dripping from her inner thigh."What happened, Kurt?" Patterson asked in horror, ignoring Weller's outburst."we need an ambulance, she need to go to the hospital" ordered the deputy director."I've already called it, it'll be here shortly," Reade retorted.kurt noticed that Jane was motionless in her arms, in fact when he looked down to check her he noticed that she was passed out."Jane!" she tried."JANE!""Where is that ambulance!" Weller shouted in concern."Kurt is coming quietly," Zapata tried to reassure him.A minute later the paramedics entered the room carrying a stretcher, on which they put Jane."There's space for one person in the ambulance," announced a paramedic."I'll go, see you at the hospital," Kurt announced.When the team arrived at the hospital, Weller was in the waiting room, sitting with his head bowed and his hands covering his face."Hey, how is Jane?" Patterson asked."I don't know, they took her to a room to visit her," he replied."What the hell happened Kurt?" Reade asked."Those sons of bitches raped her in turns and made her bleed, scream and I had to watch, but I couldn't do anything or they would kill her," Weller cried."OMG! No! Not Jane! " Patterson was shocked."She'll be fine, she must be fine, she's Jane," Tasha said, more to reassure herself than the others.Reade put a hand on Kurt's shoulder trying to comfort his friend."Why didn't I do anything ?! I should have stopped them! I should have… "Kurt was interrupted by Natasha."They would have killed you both""Kurt, Jane needs you to be strong for her," Reade said.Weller nodded thoughtfully, he must be strong for Jane, his Jane.The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of a nurse."I'm Carol, Miss Doe's nurse, I'm looking for Kurt weller""Yes, it's me, is she okay?" he asked worriedly."Could you please follow me"kurt turned to the team and they exchanged a knowing look, he followed the nurse to Jane's room."what's happening?" he asked more worried than before."Miss Doe was certainly a victim of a sexual assault, we offered her to make a rape kit, she said that before answering she wanted to talk to you, Mr. Weller," explained the nurse."Thanks, I'll come get you when she's up to something," Kurt retorted.The nurse nodded and left.Her heart skipped a beat when he entered her room, Jane was still wearing her bloody and torn clothes, her eyes red and shining with tears, the bruises on her pretty face and on her body were even more visible in the hospital lights."Hey, Jane ... the nurse said you wanted to talk to me" he said softly."I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't-didn't want to bother you""Jane, don't apologize, you don't bother me, I'm here for whatever you need" he said, he would like to take her hand to comfort her, but then he thought better of it, the last thing he wanted right now was to scare her ."I - I am – I just wanted to ask you if I need to make the rape kit to frame ... these guys" she said hesitating at the end of the sentence."You don't have to do anything if you don't want it""I know" she interrupted abruptly."What I'm asking you is if making the kit would help send them to jail""Well yeah, but ..." Weller was again interrupted by Jane."Ok, then ... okay, I'll make the kit""Are you sure Jane? You must not…""Yes, I'm sure""Ok, then I'll go and tell the nurse" he went out to communicate Jane's decision to Carol and immediately went back to her room."The nurse is on her way, so now I ..." he began, moving towards the door."Please don't go" she pleaded, she hated how weak and pathetic her voice sounded, but she didn't want to be alone during the procedure."Okay, I'm staying, I'm not leaving," he assured her, trying to take her hand."Can I-can I hold your hand?" he asked her.Jane nodded, so Kurt slowly slipped his hand into that of the tattooed woman."I'm sorry, I don't want to force you to stay here with me," she apologized again."Jane, stop apologizing, I'm here for you and I want to be here" he reassured her, Weller sent a message to the team to inform them that he would have some for a while."Ok, here we are, we're ready," Carol said as she entered the room.Kurt felt Jane squeeze his hand tightly at the sight of the cart with the medical tools."It's okay Jane, I'm here" he tried to reassure her."Does your friend stay or do you want him to go out?" the nurse asked Jane."He stays," she said, then she seemed to think about that and looked at Kurt for confirmation and he nodded."Ok, then let's get started, are you ready Jane?" Carol asked, Jane answered positively."Okay, then you can start by taking off your clothes, so I can pack them, then I'll give you a hospital gown"Weller helped her out of bed, she took off all her clothes and the nurse packed them, then Kurt helped her put on her gown."Now you can sit back and I'll move on to the evidence collection"Carol collected evidence in her mouth, under her nails, on her skin… she ran the luminol, took her blood, hair, body hair, she documented all her wounds; she had many bruises, on her wrists, ribs, back, legs, inner thigh, a hand-shaped bruise on her neck."Now I'll pass the internal exam, you can lie down on the bed and put your feet in the stirrups" Carol instructed.Kurt helped Jane stretch out on the bed, when he put her feet in the stirrups he felt her shake and squeeze his hand tightly."It's okay, I'm here" he reassured her stroking her hair, when she didn't flinch or dodge, he continued."Okay, you can stop me at any time, if you need a minute don't hesitate to tell me" Carol had run numerous rape kits and she certainly knew how to deal with victims."Jane, I'm going to insert the speculum, you might feel some ache"Jane gasped and closed her eyes tightly when the nurse inserted the speculum."I'll collect some evidence with a stick you might feel a little pressure" the nurse informed, she collected traces of DNA, blood, sperm.During her procedure Jane squeezed Kurt's hand tightly and cried, he would consequently stroke her hair and brush away the tears that slid down her cheeks."I'm done with the collection of the evidence, but you will need stitches, will I have to somministrate you a local anesthesia, if that's okay with you?" Carol asked."Ok, okay" Jane replied."Then I'll go get the tools, I'll be right back"Jane looked at Weller in embarrassment and pleading."Don't worry, I'm here, I'm not leaving unless you want to" he assured her.The nurse returned, gave the tattooed woman local anesthesia and put the stitches on her: thirteen internal and seven external.By the end of the kit Jane was exhausted, drained of all energy.Carol gave her the pill to prevent sexually transmitted diseases "I'll let you rest, if you need anything do not hesitate to call me, we would like to keep you here until tomorrow to monitor your concussion, then you can go home if there is someone with you for the next few weeks " the nurse explained."No problem, I'll stay with her" assured Weller.After Carol left Jane spoke."Kurt, I can't ask you to do such a thing""You're not asking me, I'm asking you, I'm not going to leave you alone after what you've been through, you will come to my house or if you feel more comfortable we can stay in your safe house" argued the deputy director."Kurt, I really don't…" she began but was interrupted by Weller."It's not debatable" he said firmly, but always kindly."I think your home is better, it would be more comfortable for you too""Then, alright, you'll stay with me"Kurt's phone got a text, picked it up and checked."The team asks me if you are in the mood for visits, if you don't want to, I can tell them that ...""No-no, okay, you can let them in" Jane interrupted with a fake smile.Kurt texted the team and seconds later the two heard a knock on the door."Come in" Weller said."Hey, Jane" Patterson greeted softly."Hey" Tasha said."Hi, Jane" Reade said, keeping distance from Jane, he didn't want to scare her, he knew that women who had been sexually assaulted could feel uncomfortable around men."Reade, you can come closer, I'm not afraid of you" the tattooed woman said, as if she had read his thoughts.Edgar moved slightly closer."How do you feel, Jane?" Patterson asked genuinely concerned.Seeing the looks of the team, Jane understood everything."You know, right?" she asked softly, ignoring her friend's question about her."Jane ..." Tasha said softly."It's okay" she interrupted, the room fell into an awkward silence."Jane will be released tomorrow and she will stay with me in my apartment, I'll take some time away from work" Weller informed them."Kurt, it's not ..." the tattooed woman began to say."As I said it's not debatable" he interrupted her.The team stayed a while longer chatting nonsense and Jane was grateful, she needed to be distracted; they all left after a couple of hours to let Jane rest.When Kurt returned with coffee and tea in his hands, Jane was confused."Why are you still here? You should go home,"she said puzzled."As I said, I'm not leaving""But you should rest" she retorted."You are the one who has to rest" he would not give up.After they drank their drinks, Kurt noticed that Jane was struggling to keep her eyes open."Sleep Jane, I'm here" he whispered."I can't, I'm afraid" she retorted."There is nothing to be afraid of, you are safe" he tried to reassure her."No, I know… I don't want to have nightmares" she confessed."You won't have them, you don't necessarily have them" he told her."It is said instead, because I have already had them for months, but I have the impression that tonight they will be worse""why don't you tell me? What are the nightmares about? " he asked."they're about the CIA" she replied.Kurt's heart sank to the knowledge that it was partly his fault as well."I'm so sorry Jane, what can I do to help you?" he asked genuinely concerned."I don't know-I don't know" she sobbed, as the tears were starting to fall on her face again."Hey, it's okay, I'm here ... can I hold you?" Weller asked, he would do anything to make her feel better.When Jane nodded, he stretched out partly to her on her bed and wrapped him in her arms while he whispered reassuring words."It's okay, shshsh, you're safe"After a few minutes Jane's breathing slowed and Kurt realized that she was asleep, that night he wouldn't sleep, he would watch over her all the time.Continues…
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Chapter 2 Jane woke up in the morning more rested than ever, immediately realized she was wrapped in two strong and protective arms, Kurt's arms."Good morning, how are you feeling?" he asked smiling.Jane slowly pulled herself up from Weller's chest and sat down on the bed."Sorry, I didn't want to fall asleep on you" the woman quickly apologized."Don't apologize, you can sleep on me as many times as you want""Thank you" she replied, blushing slightly."The boys will be coming by shortly to bring you your things, since you will be discharged today" the deputy director informed.In fact, about an hour later the team stopped by to deliver her personal belongings and her clothes.Jane was discharged in the afternoon, she was taken out of the hospital in a wheelchair, despite her protests.The drive from the hospital to Kurt's apartment was done in silence, except for the occasional gasps of Jane, when the car passed over a bump, every time he heard her gasp Weller apologized, even though he knew all of this was not his fault, he felt equally responsible.He parked in front of the building, he quickly got out to take Jane's bag and then help her out of the car.They entered the building to find that the elevator was broken, Kurt couldn't help but notice Jane's whimpering, it was painful to walk those five meters from the car to the inside, the stairs would have been a real torture."Don't worry, I can carry you" Weller offered."It's okay, I can do it" she said bravely."Just because you can doesn't mean you have to, don't think I didn't notice how much you're suffering just walking a few meters" he said firmly."I'm about to pick you up, okay?" his voice softened.Jane sighed "okay".Kurt picked her up firmly, but gently, careful not to hurt her.They entered the house and Weller placed the woman on the sofa and went back to close the door."What do you say if while I prepare something for dinner, you relax with a hot bath?" he proposed.Jane nodded, enthusiastic at the idea of finally being able to wash and get rid of this feeling of dirt that made her terribly uncomfortable."Okay, then I'm going to turn on the water"She returned minutes later with a large towel "the water should be hot by now" he announced.He accompanied her to the bathroom and put the towel down so that she could easily reach it from the tub."Call me if you need anything" he said before heading for the door, but was stopped by Jane's faint voice calling him."I-would you help me undress ... I-I don't ..." she whispered embarrassed."Don't worry, you don't have to explain, I get it" he interrupted her.He helped her take off her shirt and pants before she spoke "thanks, I can do it from here"."Okay, I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything" he repeated and left the bathroom, leaving Jane some privacy.Forty minutes had passed and Kurt started to worry, Jane had been in the bathroom for too long."Jane, are you okay?" he knocked on the bathroom door, when he got no answer her heart started beating faster in his chest."Jane, I'm coming in, okay?" he asked as he opened the door.He found her curled up in the tub, knees to her chest, her face stained with tears, her body visibly trembling; seeing her so fragile broke his heart."Jane" he whispered as he approached her, grabbed her towel."Jane, it's okay, we'll get you out, you're shaking" he informed her, before gently grabbing her by her biceps and lifting her up, he immediately wrapped her in the towel.He lifted her into his arms, carried her into his room and sat her on the bed, he leaned in front of her, took her hands in his and looked into her eyes."Jane, are you with me?" he asked her worried."Yeah, I'm-I'm sorry" she said softly as she started to cry again."Hey, hey; there's nothing to apologize for... I'll go get you something to cover you"He retrieved some loose clothes from her suitcase and went back to the bedroom."Here, do you need help?" he asked her, handing her the clothes.She nodded "I can't - I can't move, I'm just too tired to do anything" she tried to justify herself."It's okay, you'll be fine Jane" he reassured her.First he took her panties, he slipped them first in one leg and then in the other, made her stand up, supporting her with one hand on her waist, brought the garment to her hips and made her sit down again."Is that ok? If I make you uncomfortable we can find another way to do it" He asked, worried that his touch would make her uncomfortable."No, it's okay, I trust you, you don't make me uncomfortable at all" she reassured him.Weller nodded, heaved a sigh of relief at the knowledge that he wasn't causing her discomfort; took the shirt, slipped it over her head, when he was about to help her put an arm in her sleeve, the towel slipped off her body, leaving Jane's chest exposed to Kurt, he couldn't help but notice the hand shape bruises on her breasts, along with a multitude of now healed scars, but he didn't comment on them."Oh, Jane" he sighed, seeing the bloody nail marks around her breasts."It's okay" she lied."No, not at all ... do you feel pain?" he asked her after a moment's hesitation."It's not the best, but I've been through worse, I'm used to" this sentence was like a stab in the chest of Kurt.Jane finished putting on her shirt and then put on her pants, again with Weller's help."I've made something to eat if you're hungry" he told her."yes, certainly. It's just… "she broke off, it was too embarrassing to ask."What, Jane? You know you can tell me anything""It's not like your sister left sanitary pads here ... the nurse said even with the stitches I'll have ... well, that's it ... I'll bleed for a few days and I don't-have nothing here with me" she said as her face turned red pepper."Oh ... yes, I think Sarah left something of her stuff here" he led her to the bathroom and showed her his sister's locker."you need something else?""Ah, no, thanks, I'll be right back" she informed him.Kurt came out of the bathroom and closed the door, sat in the kitchen and waited for Jane's arrival.Continues…
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Chapter 3When Jane came out of the bathroom, Kurt noticed she had a weird look on her and immediately started to worry."Did something happen? Are you ok?" he bombarded her frantically with questions."Yes, everything ok, forget it, it's nothing""Stop lying to me Jane, please tell me what's wrong" Weller retorted."Nothing is just that I hate being so weak" Jane confessed sadly."Jane this is not true at all, come here" he drew her into a hug, always attentive to her wounds and not to cause her pain."You are the strongest and bravest person I know, but even strong people need someone to take care of them, you have been strong for too long, now it's time for you to let yourself go and let someone take care of you, and that's what I want to do" he said as he stroked her hair."You'll see that all this will pass, you'll be fine Jane" he reassured her."I'm fine" she announced.Just then Jane's stomach rumbled with hunger "come on and sit down, dinner is ready and I can tell you're hungry" Weller suggested.They ate in silence, Kurt couldn't help but notice how little Jane ate and that alarmed him instantly."Jane why don't you eat a little more, you need to eat" he begged her."I'm sorry, I don't… I can't, I'm not used to eating so much anymore" she apologized pathetically."What do you mean with you're not used to eating so much anymore, what are you talking about Jane?" Weller was more worried than ever."Well, it's not like at the CIA black site they really cared about feeding me, just the bare minimum to survive, and after returning at the FBI, my stomach was no longer used to eating so much food so I..." she interrupted."You were throwing up" he finished for her.Jane nodded."God Jane I'm so sorry, it's all my fault, I should have checked you after your return, I should have realized how much weight you've lost, I'm sorry, I should have done more to stop the CIA from taking you away, I'm so sorry Jane" Kurt apologized with tears in his eyes and guilt devouring him from within."No Kurt it's not your fault, it's okay, it's not that important" Jane tried to calm him down."It's very important instead and I will do everything to get you back to normal, I promise""Thanks" she smiled warmly at him, he smiled back."You must be tired, do you want to go to bed to rest or do you prefer...""NO" Jane cut him off abruptly."Sorry, I'm-I'm sorry" she apologized as soon as she realized she had screamed, she got up from her chair.Kurt takes a step toward her to reassure her but Jane pulls away and stretches her arms out in front of herself protectively, as if she expects him to hit her.Kurt's heart breaks for the umpteenth time that day."Jane ..." Kurt whispered slowly approaching her "Jane, I would never hit you, I would never hurt you" he told her as he got closer, Jane relaxed slightly."I'm sorry, I know you wouldn't ... I trust you, it's just a reflection" Jane felt terribly guilty for making him think she was afraid of him."It's not just a reflection, Jane. You have PTSD" he corrected her gently."I do not..""Jane, can I hug you?" he asked her and when she nodded he took her into his arms."Do you want to watch some TV?" Weller asked."yes, certainly"Jane sat down on the couch and noticed that Kurt was sitting on the opposite side of her, away from her, luckily she immediately understood why."I don't mind if you sit closer, I'm not afraid of you, you know, right?" Jane told him."Well … I am ... I want you to be comfortable and I don't want to get too close or touch you unless you give me permission and ...""I trust you, I know you wouldn't hurt me" she cut him off."How can you trust me after ..." Kurt refused to finish the sentence."Kurt what the CIA did to me is not your fault" she hastened to reassure him."I'm not just talking about that, but everything, I should have protected you, instead they hurt you because of me" Weller's eyes were filling with tears and his heart with guilt."Kurt please don't blame yourself, I don't want you to feel that way" Jane said hugging him.The rest of the evening was spent in peace, it was almost eleven in the evening and Jane had fallen asleep on Kurt's shoulder; careful not to wake her up, he picked her up, he took his to her room and laid her gently on the bed, covering her with the blankets.Weller sat down on the armchair next to the bed, near a sleeping Jane, he wouldn't sleep with her in the same bed without her consent, but he didn't want to sleep on the sofa either, he had to stay close to her, watch over her.Kurt didn't realize he had dozed off until he was awakened by Jane's heartbreaking screams."NO STOP IT, PLEASE NO, DON'T TOUCH ME".He rushes to the woman's side, trying to wake her but without touching her."Jane I'm Kurt, you're safe" he told her."Jane it's alright, I'm here" he tried again.Jane's eyes widened then, her fear reflected in them."Kurt?" she asked in a trembling voice."I'm here, it's okay" he assured her."Please take him off me, TAKE HIM OFF!" she screamed in panic."There's nobody here, Jane, it's just you and me"."No, I can feel it above me, inside me, it hurts, please Kurt make it stop, make him go away" Jane's breathing was labored."Shshsh, it's okay, he's gone, it's just me, you're safe now, no one will hurt you anymore".Jane came out of her tranny and burst into tears, sobbing and breathing heavily.Kurt took her in his arms "shshsh, it's alright, it's all over, you're safe" They stayed like that for some time before Jane's breathing and sobbing subsided "I'm sorry" she apologized embarrassed."Don't apologize, it's not your fault" he assured her "did you have a nightmare?" he asked her and she nodded "do you want to talk about it?" he proposed her."It's just ... what happened the other day, only that instead of those traffickers there were Keaton and the other CIA agents who were on my black site" she confessed hesitantly."Oh Jane, I'm sorry, what-what can I do to help you?" he asked."Just ... hold me please, can you hold me like you did in the hospital?"Kurt moved onto the bed and wrapped Jane with her protective arms, they both fell asleep within minutes.When Kurt woke up it was morning, Jane was still sleeping, he decided to let her rest a little longer and got up to prepare the breakfast.He was making pancakes, deep in his thoughts (obviously all about Jane), when a sleepy figure came out of the bedroom."Hey, good morning, how did you sleep?" Weller asked Jane."I've slept better than I've slept in years" she smiled at him and sat down on one of the stools."Well, I'm happy to hear it ... I'm making pancakes, I hope you like them" he spoke."I can't wait to tasting the famous Weller pancakes" she said with a chuckle."what?" she asked when she realized he was staring at her."Nothing is just that… it's nice to see you laugh."Voilà" he exclaimed putting the plates full of pancakes on the counter."Wow, they're really good" complimented Jane, after tasting a piece."Of course they are, I cooked them" Kurt joked.After breakfast Jane helped Kurt wash the dishes, despite the fact that he had urged her so many times to stay seated and let him do it."Do we have to go to work?" Jane asked."No, before you go back to work you have to heal, I took some days off so I could stay here with you" he informed her."What? You don't need to take a permit, I don't want to take you away from work ""Jane, you are not taking me away from work, I want to be here with you, I could not concentrate knowing you are here alone" confessed the assistant director."How long will I have to be away from work?" Jane suddenly asked in fear."Until your body and mind are healed and you feel ready to return" he replied."Are Nas and Pellinton in agreement on this?" Jane asked worriedly."Pellinton has no say in this and Nas is gone so she doesn't have a say either""are you sure?" Jane asked, not yet convinced."Yes of course Jane, what are you worried about?" he asked her, he could read her like an open book."It's just that Pellinton is the director of the FBI and he's in charge and Nas ... she told me that if I didn't help defeating Sandstorm she would send me back to the CIA" confessed Jane."WHAT!" Kurt yelled in anger. When Jane backed away frightened, he hastened to apologize "sorry, I'm sorry Jane, I didn't mean to scare you"."it's ok""Nas never told me anything, but I promise you, I will do whatever it takes so that you'll never go back to the CIA" Kurt promised."Thanks, I appreciate it""Well, since we don't have to go to work, we can do whatever we want" he told her, trying to change the subject of the conversation to something lighter."I… do you mind if I take a shower first? Well I'm ... ""You don't have to explain, I understand. You don't have to ask me either, you can take a shower at any time of the day or night" he told her softly."Ok, thanks, then I ... I'll be right back" said this Jane disappeared into the bathroom.A little over half an hour later she joined Kurt on the couch, fully clothed, her hair still damp.Kurt noticed her gasp as she sat on the couch, looked into her eyes, he could tell she had been crying."Jane maybe you should take your painkillers" Weller suggested."Yeah, actually I think I need it"Kurt went to get the medicine and a glass of water and handed them to Jane."Thank you" she said, swallowing the pill and drinking the glass of water to swallow it.Kurt put the glass down on the table and sat back near Jane."The guys asked me if they could come tonight, maybe for dinner and then a movie?" asked the deputy director."You should decide, this is your house Kurt"."Yes, but you live here too at the moment and if you don't want to have too many people around ... and then they don't give a damn about me, they want to see you and see how you are" Weller explained."Oh, ok then it's fine, if you agree too" Jane decided."Perfect then I send a message to Reade".Continues…
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Chapter 4Evening arrived earlier than expected, Jane was helping Kurt lay the table when the doorbell rang."I'll go" Jane announced, seeing that Weller was busy tidying up the kitchen.She opened the door and the first thing she saw was Patterson holding a dozen board games, then Reade holding two cartons of beer and Tasha carrying pizzas."Hey, come in" Jane invited them."Hey guys" Kurt greeted them, "take a seat.""What a formality Mr. Deputy Director" joked Zapata."It's good to see you Jane" said Patterson, "yes, we're all very happy to see you" agreed Reade and Tasha.They all sat down at the counter and the brunette distributed the pizzas, Reade began to give his friends the beers, but Jane refused."Thanks but I can't, I'm on painkillers and I would say it wouldn't be a great idea to mix the two" she justified herself, with a smirk."I'll get you a soda" Weller told her, standing up."Thank you" Jane smiled at him.They finished eating quietly, talking nonsense and gossip, Jane was very grateful, she needed distraction or else her mind would start wandering in very dark places.Patterson offered to play one of the board games she had brought, reluctantly the team agreed, the blonde was too excited to play one of her board games and no one could tell her no.Everyone noticed Jane's gasp and grimace of pain as she stood up from her stool, Kurt quickly joined her and gently grabbed her bicep to support her."Jane is everything okay? Are you ok?" he asked frantically.The rest of the team stood back so as not to overwhelm Jane."I'm fine, it's nothing, don't worry""Maybe you should take your painkillers" he retorted knowing her tendency to lie about her health."I can't. I took them three hours ago and there must be at least eight hours between doses" she explained."We can do it one more time if you want, we'll leave so you can get some rest" Patterson offered to her friend, not wanting her to try too hard on her condition."No, no... I'm fine, really, let's play"Patterson brought out Monopoly and they played it for a couple of hours, until Tasha, after the second defeat, decided that she had enough, so they stopped playing, they certainly didn't want to hear Zapata complaining in Spanish all evening; Kurt got up to get everyone drinks, Reade went to help him, leaving the three women sitting on the couch."So…how are you Jane? I mean how are you really?" the blonde asked, emphasizing the fact that she wanted the truth and not the usual 'I'm fine' that the tattooed woman always said."well…I'm…holding it, my mother trained me in pretty much everything…but that's not something you get used to" Jane replied sincerely."What do you mean by 'get used to' has this happened to you before?" Tasha asked in alarm."Well..." Jane was thinking about lying but she had promised not to lie to the team anymore and she was determined to keep this promise "Roman confessed to me why he couldn't stand Oscar, he said years ago I confessed to him that he really didn't respected my will and… sometimes he took advantage of me after drugging me or something, but luckily I don't remember much and he didn't want to tell me more" she confessed."WHAT DID THAT BASTARD DO?!" they heard Kurt yelling from the kitchen, he immediately rushed to Jane's with Reade in tow."What the hell Weller! What are you? A cat?" exclaimed Zapata annoyed by her super hearing and the speed of her chief (that he has especially when it comes to a certain tattooed woman)."What the hell does it mean, Jane? Did it happen even after you lost your memory?" Kurt asked frantically ignoring Zapata's comment, his mind replaying all the worst-case scenarios as his guilt grew more and more."No it happened before, when I was younger. Roman told me about it when he expressed his happiness for the Oscar's death, I remember little or nothing" the team was horrified, how could one person survive all of this…"Why didn't you ever tell us, Jane?" asked Reade."I…didn't think it was relevant to the case" but maybe she was wrong, maybe it was relevant, maybe she should have said it, she promised them not to keep any more secrets, not to lie anymore and now she had broken that promise."Jane, it's not about the case, it's about you, we worry about you, because you're our friend" Patterson told her lovingly."Why did you stay with him?" Weller asked, interrupting Jane who was about to contest what her friend had just told her."I have no idea…maybe-maybe I had no choice" the woman stammered, feeling weak, feeling like a loser."I'm so sorry Jane" Tasha said sincerely, she was starting to feel really bad about how she treated her when she got back."Jane I know that when you came back we treated you in a very despicable way, unfortunately it took you to hurt yourself to make us understand it, to understand that you have already suffered enough and that you don't deserve any of this, now we are here for you , for anything" Kurt declared softly, sitting next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, reassuring her."Weller's right..." Patterson agreed."I…thank you, I appreciate it" Jane thanked them, trying to hold back her tears.The team left about an hour later, Jane had gone to take a shower, while Kurt sat on the sofa reading a book by Winston Pear, the umpteenth he read by his favorite author, waiting for her to return.She appeared from the bedroom in her pajamas, and she walked slowly towards him, visibly worn out by the day."Do you mind if I go to bed? I'm a little tired" she asked weakly, she couldn't stand it anymore, her body ached and she wanted nothing more than to sink into the comforting warmth of the bed."Of course not, are you sure you're okay? You look pale" he asked, scanning her up and down. He could read her like an open book, she couldn't hide anything from him, he understood her like no one else could."Yeah, yeah…just a little sore, that's all" she replied nonchalantly, trying not to point out too much that she was partly lying, she didn't feel well at all, her whole body ached and she was on the verge of crying, but he didn't want to worry Kurt, he'd been so kind and thoughtful towards her in the past few days…he deserved a break too."Maybe you should take your painkillers" he suggested, standing up and walking over to the woman."No it's fine, I just want to get some rest" she reassured him. What she really wanted to answer was that she hated taking those medicines because they made her feel dizzy and when she felt like this she couldn't always be alert and attentive to her surroundings and it was something she hated immensely, and it also reminded her a little the feeling she got when Oscar drugged her."Do you want me to join you or do you need some space?" he asked, hoping she'd say yes because he badly needed to be next to her, even though they've been together all day he still felt she was distant."I can't force you to stay with me all the time just because I could go crazy at any moment, it's your home and you have the right to do what you want" she replied, even though in her head she hoped that he would follow her and hold her tight as she fell asleep, but as always she tried to suppress these idyllic thoughts."Jane, I'd gladly come over there with you, I can continue reading my book in bed, but only if you want me there with you" Kurt tried a different approach, but without pushing her too much."Okay" she relented, she had to admit she was relieved."Go ahead, I'll join you in a minute" he said.When Kurt entered his bedroom Jane was already under the covers, he slipped part way under the covers, giving her a quick glance to make sure she was still awake and as well as she was trying to make him believe."Good night Jane...I'm sure you'll get better soon, I promise you, all of this will end and I'll always be by your side" he gave her a sweet smile, he looked at her well, and even so with a pale face, a tried expression, wearing plain pajamas that Patterson and Tasha had brought her when she was still in hospital, even so she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and he would do anything to protect her, even if the circumstances weren't the best he had to admitting that having her in his apartment, in his bed was something he wasn't ready to give up yet and he hoped that one day it would all become permanent."Thanks Kurt, you have no idea how much this helps me" she thanked him, she wanted to say much more, she wanted to tell him how she felt and express all her gratitude, but she was really tired and she could feel herself slipping into Morpheus' arms ( the god of sleep).She fell asleep immediately, Weller finished the chapter of his book, desperately trying to get to sleep, he put the book on the bedside table, approached Jane slightly, remembering that the contact with him would save her from nightmares or so he hoped, he too fell asleep although with some difficulty, as he could not calm his nerves, he was too worried about his Jane and still furious at the revelations she had made that evening on Oscar and what the bastard did to her…take it easy Kurt, she told herself, you need to calm down and focus on Jane now, you need to be there for her. And it was with Jane in his thoughts that Kurt finally fell asleep.Continues…