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“Harry!” Draco came into the Gryfindor common room, skidding sideways. “Harry! I’m just a submissive little omega who needs daddy dearest to fight all of his battles for him! I’m in heat, Harry! I need you to breed me! Breed me so hard, Harry!” Draco begged clutching at Harry Potter’s shoulders like a drowning man. They were all stuck in a weird time loop where everyone was, like, 20, but still in Hogwarts, doing wizard student things. Because this author doesn't do that underaged gross junk. “Oh. I don’t want to. I don’t want kids yet. When I do, I wanna teach them to be racist–er, classist! Er!–Exclusionary to other houses? Yeah. Yeah that sounds about right.” Harry paused to touch his chin. “Anyway McGonagall taught me what to do. Wait here.” Harry ran into the bathroom and grabbed q-tips and neosporin. He came out again. “K. Drop your pants.” “Right here?” Draco blushed. “I mean, if you like?” “Kinda hot.” Draco giggled, then did as he was asked. Harry took Draco’s dick and shoved a neosporin covered q-tip in his urethra. “Ow!” “Well that didn’t do it..” Harry murmured to himself thoughtfully. “Gimme your booty hole.” “It’s tight for you, daddy.” “Yep, that didn’t do the trick at all.” Harry said staring down Draco’s taunt little pink star fish. It was just so tight, and sexy, just begging to be played with, but Harry felt nothign because Draco was a racist prig who bullied him since elementary school. He shoved that neosporin q-tip right in that boy’s bussy. That day, the Gryfindor common room gained a new stain and awful smell that never quite left, especially since it was kinda oily from the neosporin. Hermione’s black ass walked by with a glock on her hip. “Gross.” “Yeah, but no one had to fuck him!” Harry countered. “Yes, but you could’ve gone to one of the five million bathrooms in this castle. Including the one with Moaning Myrtle, and the enterence to the sneaky snake’s secret chamber, which now contains several rotting corpses.” “...This is why you should’ve been in Ravenclaw, Hermione!” “I do stupid brave things in literally every book. I made my freaking parents forget I ever existed, while your dead parents are still paying your tution. I was completely prepared to walk through life alone, a single woman, in order to save the world. Don’t you ever disrespect me, or my house again!” “Fair.” Then Draco learned why Auntie PirateQueen20 keeps telling you to delete your ex’s nudes and stop masturbating to them. It reaffirms the bond you had with them. Unfortunately, Draco did not become attatched to q-tips. He became attached to Harry. But as Draco was written to be a repellant creautre, no one but his pure blood cousin wanted to fuck him. The end.