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"I'm broke." Jungwon said after a while. He sadly looked at the slice of pizza sitting on his plate. He could not believe that s
he's gonna ugly cry over a piece of food— but why was he so surprise when he's literally penniless. "Tigil mo yan, mukha kang tanga." His friend Sunoo said handing him the tissue, he looks like a mess. His eyes watered even more. "Tangina nito. Isipin ng mga tao pinaiyak kita. Sa cute kong to." Sunoo said trying to hide his face— nasa caf sila and Won shameless as he is started to stir a drama by crying over an overpriced pizza he ordered. "Pinaiyak mo naman talaga. Sana you did not convinced me to buy that food edi sana may pera pa ako." "Hoy not my fault ha. Yan kasi taglish taglish ka pa, panggap ka pang conyo napagkamalan ka tuloy mayaman." Sunoo blamed him, may tendency kasi yung canteen nila na mag overpriced sa mga studyanteng mamayaman. Not their fault na mukha silang mayaman. "Hoy indi ah. Nilalait ko lang talaga yung mga conyo tapos ugh. Potangina naman." Won sobbed even louder, Sunoo has to pull his hair. Natapos ang pagpapanggap ni Won na umiiyak after the students voice buzzed. The reactions are obvious, sure na sure sila ni Sunoo na papasok na naman yung lima na top students sa campus nila. "Tingnan mo sila, indi sila naiiyak habang nagbabayad ng pizza." Won said and pointed his lips towards the direction of five boys who are oblivious to the attention they garnered. "Malamang mayaman sila. Tanga nito. Yang 100 per slice na pizza barya lang sa kanila yun." Sunoo replied his eyes lingered into one of the boys. "Tingnan mo yung Heeseung Lee. Ang perfect, ang pogi, ang talino, nung nagpaulan ang diyos ng kagwapuhan at talent nandoon ata siya sa tabi ng diyos namimigay." Won sighed and looked at the "ace" as what people called him. "Sino ba bet mo diyan beh?" Sunoo asked. Alam naman nila na langit ang pangarapin ang lima. Indi sila out of touch from the reality, hindi nila afford kahit laundry detergent ng lima kaya dito na lang sila sa tabi-tabi at titingin lang sa biyayang binigay ni Lord. "Yung pogi na may mole— aray ko naman. Makahila ng buhok to!" Tinampal ni Won ang kamay ni Sunoo na nakasabunot sa buhok niya. He glared at the younger and raised his middle finger. "Bakla, lam kong happy crush lang tayo dito pero wag yan. Akin yan." Sunoo said, his foxy eyes squinted at Won and the latter only rolled his eyes. "Edi wag. Sa kpop bois ko na lang." "Sus, di mo naman abot. Bukod sa mahirap ka nandoon din sila sa malayo." Such bickering is normal to the two. Won does not find the humor offensive because he throw worst banter at Sunoo too. "Nye nye, paki mo ba. At least di ghosted." Won replied playfully and laughed at Sunoo’s reddened cheeks. Nainis kasi na ghost ng ka emz emz daw nito. Siraulo kasi kinilig sa ka talking stage. "Foul yun. Pakyu!" "Pakyu ka rin.""Ikaw ang pinakapakest sa lahat ng pakyu." "Uhm– is the seat taken." Natigil ang dalawa sa petty fight nila after a deep voice interjected. Sabay na napatingin ang dalawa at sabay ring napasinghap after recognizing the person who owned the voice. "Hindi po, pati ako hindi rin taken." Sunoo said shamelessly and Won has the urge to run away and hide himself. Why is he flirting with this guy? "Bakla, shit ka. Nakakahiya. Kala ko ba ang pulubi ay para sa pulubi?" Mahinang bulong ni Won na obviously narinig din ng mga kaharap because Heeseung Lee's mouth formed into smirk. "Gaga, kailangan nating iahon ang sarili natin sa kahirapan." Sunoo replied in lower tone but still his voice was loud enough for Sunghoon to coughed a little and hid his giggle. "Upo lang po kayo. Paalis na rin kami." Won gave an awkward smile and gathered his things on the table. He looked at his surrounding only to be greeted by an overwhelming audience. Won wondered why did the boys decided to eat in the cafeteria. They are not the type to sit in the old chair and old plastic table surrounded by university students who obviously pry into their personal lives but then again it was not his business and he was not in position to judge. "Ha? Aalis na—" "Oo. Umayos ka diyan. Time na oh. May class na tayo." Won said at agad na hinila ang kaibigan patayo. "Ay! Oo nga shit!" Sunoo panicked after checking the time. "Geh po, alis na kami." Won said and bowed down his head. He looked at his pizza sadly contemplating to snatch it away or to leave it behind but it was his food at bastos din namang iwan ang kalat— "Kunin mo na. Iniyakan mo yan kasi ang mahal di ba?" Sunoo said after seeing the dilemma in his friend's face. Won smiled at the people in their table awkwardly and slowly snatched his paper plate.Sunoo was also set to go. The pair decided to give the five boys a polite bidding of goodbyes before running away. **"Grabe friend yung kaba ko." Won said. His hands are sweating, nasa classroom na sila ngayon waiting for their prof to come. "Friend nanginig yung non existent kong poki." Sunoo said while sorting out his papers. "Napakagaga mo kahit kailan talaga." Inis na sagot niya sa kaibigan na ngayon ay tawang-tawa lang. "Paka gwapo pala talaga nila sa malapitan. Bango-bango pa pota. Nahiya yung tag 150 na pekeng victoria secret kong perfume. Kaloka bhie!" Won said remembering the manly scent his nose managed to sniff awhile ago. "Buti ka pa 150 yung akin yung Johnson baby cologne na every minute mo yata ilalagay kasi nag f-fade yung amoy." Natatawang sagot ni Sunoo. "Hahahhaha gaga! Utang lang to. Hulog-hulog ba pero nagbayad akong cash. Gosh! Mayaman thingz." Maarteng sagot ni Won. "May pera ka pala. Bayaran mo nga yung crop top na inutang mo sakin." "Oh sige, bayaran mo rin yung 300 na load na inutang mo sakin." "Eto na ba ang time para e-revoked ang friendship natin?" Sunoo asked. His left eyebrow was raised. "Oo, try nating e review kung pwede pa—" Won was cut off by their professor. Sabay silang napa utter ng secret prayer after the teacher set up the projector and his slideshow. Taena! Eighty-nine slides yun, nahiya pa sana ginawa na lang 100. **Jungwon Yang, 22, years old, third year college, ab literature. He blinked back at the cursor and tried to sort out ideas in his head. Pota, hirap na hirap siyang magsulat ng autobiography dahil sa napakaboring niyang buhay. He listed his likes and dislikes pero wala pa ring idea na lumalabas sa utak niya. Gusto niya na lang e magic lahat o di kaya magpretend na isa siyang prinsipe na pinilit na magpakasal sa Hari sa kabilang palasyo. Shuta, sana nagwarla na lang sila ni Sunoo tapos isusulat niya yung heartbreak niya rito edi may sense yung autobiography niya. But what will he write when he spent his 22 years of existence in their small province— kaharap niya pa lagi ang dagat at meron siyang loving and accepting grandparents na nagpalaki sa kanya kasi pareho ng nakipag meet up kay San Pedro ang mga magulang niya. Bukod doon wala na siyang maisusulat pa. "Kaasar naman to. Bakit kailangang five pages yung autobiography na to kung two pages lang yung experience ko? Choz! Fillers na lang siguro?" Won said at muling sinimangutan ang laptop. He tried to start his piece by showing the life he had in their small town but stopped midway because he got distracted by the sudden thought— this is another problem Won encounters everyday. Ang attention span niya ay malala pa sa goldfish kung kaya't mas maraming beses pa siyang distracted kesa sa amount of time na dapat ginugol niya sa paggawa school works. "Taena mo Heeseung Lee." He yelled and stomped his feet. Pasok kasi ng pasok sa utak niya yung nakasmirk na mukha ng lalaki at malapit na talagang mapikon si Jungwon. "Sumpa yata yung lalaki yung." He said and searched the guy's name sa Twitter. He found his account and as expected the man has more than 10,000 followers plus pogi typings pa. He searched for Heeseung's name in intsagram and mas na overwhelmed siya sa number of followers at sa pictures na pinopost nito. Biglang nahiya tuloy yung insta wall niya na punong-puno ng mga pa cute at kagaguhan posting nila ni Sunoo."Mga mayayaman nga naman. Mamayaman moments." He said and goes back to writing— surprisingly nakagawa rin siya ng 5 pages autobiography. May magic yata yung mukha ni Heeseung Lee, Jungwom thought to himself. Siguro sobrang contrasting ng buhay nila to the point na he got a little envious of the kind of life Heeseung lives. He wanted to experience private island and expensive bar hopping too. Jungwon sighed to himself and keep the sprouting jealousy inside. Sana all mayaman, he chanted into his head and closed his eyes.
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"Natapos mo?" Sun asked, may eyebags ito obviously nag cram din ito. Kaya siguro bestie silang dalawa kasi parehong crammer. "Oo. Dinagdagan ko lang ng drama para kunwari interesting din yung buhay ko." Jungwon added and giggled. "Interesting din naman buhay mo, I am literally your friend. Like hello, I put the I in interest." Sunoo said smuggly tapos nag flip pa ng non existent long hair nito. "Daming ebas. Pero yun nga friend ang weird di ako makasulat kasi pasok ng pasok sa isip ko yung mukha ng Heeseung. Grabe weakshit ko talaga sa mga pogi." Won said and shook his head. Nasa loob sila ngayon ng gymnasium waiting for the speaker to come out. Meron daw kasing symposium ang council about social science and everyone in CAS Department is required to attend."Sige lang friend. Basta si Heeseung lang, wag ka na kay Sunghoon. Na mine ko na yun." Jungwon was about to answer when a husky voice boomed around the gym. Tamang-tama lang ang rasp at masarap iyong pakinggan, nakakaantok na nakakabuhay ng loob. Malamig at sakto lang ang baba. "Hi everyone!" Sabay na napatingin ang lahat sa stage at sabay-sabay ding tumili because in front of them is no other than Heeseung Lee. He is wearing a brown polo shirt na naka tucked in sa kanyang black pants and a black shoes na hindi alam ni Won kung anong brand. His hair is brush sideways leaving strands in his forehead. "Potangina beh! Luluhuran, papaliguan, mamahalin, pagsisilbihan, ipapakilala sa boung pamilya." Jungwon mumbled habang nakatingala kay Heeseung who shared a little smile. "Sakin ka Heeseung. Araw-araw kitang pangingitiin. Choz!" Tili ni Sunoo. Inis na tinitigan niya ang kaibigan. "Makatili? Kala ko ba kay Sunghoon ka?" "Kaya nga may 'choz' di ba?" Sunoo rolled his eyes while quoting the word choz in the air. "Pero can't blame you friend. Look at him." Jungwon said and sighed dreamily. Salamat sa Diyos at hindi siya madamot nag manifacture siya ng ganito ka poging nilalang. "The Council president, my friend here, Jay said that the speakers are running late. Bilang mga good friends we decided to play some songs to entertain you guys." Sunghoon na umakyat lang sa stage said. May bitbit itong gitara and Won swore to the grave of his parents na muntik nang tumalsik ang earwax niya sa lakas ng tili ng kaibigan na ngayon ay parang sinapian ng masamang espirito sa sobrang pangingisay. "Pota naman Sun! Kumalma ka nga. Baka magtawag bigla yung council ng exorcist." Pang-c-callout ni Jungwon sa kaibigan but the latter only glared at him and goes back to shouting. "Sunghoon! Nasa poki ko ang gitara!!" Mahinang sigaw ni Sunoo or he thought it was because everyone suddenly moved their head towards their direction. Jungwon realized that everyone in the gym heard Sunoo's chant. Sabay silang namula at agad na yumuko. Won closed his eyes while his friend shuts up. He covered his face with his palm. Sunghoon was also red shocked with the audacity, Heeseung squints his eyes to the audience and spotted the same people they saw yesterday sa cafeteria. Niki, Jake and Jay muffled their laughter and pretended that nothing happened. "Uhm— anyways request lang kayo ng kanta guys. But the first song we will be playing is Off Your Face." Sunghoon said awkwardly. Heeseung positioned himself in front and hold the mic. He brush his hair using his hand and once again the hype was back. The crowd roared and cheered for him. Nasabi na ba ni Jungwon na he used to dream of having a singer for a boyfriend? Hindi pa siguro kaya sasabihin niya ngayon na sometimes he fantasized a man lulling him to sleep while looking at him with outmost respect. Kaya nga he is a big fan of music— specially opm, naka on loop pa nga yung umuwi ka na baby sa playlist niya kasi isa siyang hopeless romantic/ assumerang bakla. Kaya hearing Heeseung sing the saddest song right now made his heart flutter a hundred times love songs made his heart go boom boom. The older's voice is breathy, soft, the way he delivers the lyrics feels like listening to a perfectly crafted cd. Napakagandang pakinggan and his eyes; hindi siraulo si Won but to put the intensity of his stares into words it would be melting like a chocolate under the blazing heat of sun— it feels like molten rock running from the mouth of volcano to its feet. And Won must be crazy for thinking that the ace is looking at his direction kasi sino ba naman siya? He is just Jungwon ang cute na cute na university scholar whose life got tangled with Sunoo's, a chaotic sunshine personified. They are the nobody kaya walang rason ang mga titig ni Hee sa kanya. "Omg ka. Sasabunutan kita!" Sunoo yelled in his ear. Shuta. "Shut up!" He shouted back looking at Sunoo letting go of him and Heeseung's staring competition. "Galit ka na na niyan pokemon?" Sunoo likes to give weird nicknames. Minsan he was a cat to him but mostly a pokemon. Jungwon does not even look like a pokemon. "Kita mong eyes to eyes kami ni Lee Heeseung. Paka panira mo talaga ng pangarap." "Shit ka. You noticed!? Grabe makatingin sayo parang ikaw lang maganda dito, which is offensive by the way, kasi duh katabi mo ako." Pagdadaldal ni Sunoo but he was too preoccupied with what the younger said— Lee Heeseung staring at him like he was beautiful?? Nagshort circuit yata yung utak niya. "Hoy." Sunoo shouts in his ear again. Pota. If only he was older baka talaga nasabunutan niya na ang bakla. "Tangina mo. Ingay mo naman." Heeseung's voice still booming in the corners of the auditorium and the only thing Jungwon could do was to shout at the top of his lungs cheering for his newly found "happy crush." "Sunghoon shit pogi mo tangina ka!" "Bakit kasi kailangan ganyan yung cheer mo. Nasa catholic school tayo." Jungwon said— sure isa siyang simp pero hearing Sunoo's blatant cheering feeling ni Won matatawag sila sa guidance office."Gayahin mo kasi. Tigil mo na yang pagpapanggap na isang kang mahinhing bakla, be proud of your pride." "Shuta ka. Magkaiba yung proud ka sa pride mo kesa sa pagmumura mo diyan." "Alam ko mother baks but pleaseeee this is fun plus the probability of Sunghoon noticing me is higher pa sa grade ko sa Literary Theory. Try mo rin kay Heeseung para mapansin ka! Rawr! Uhaw sa attention na bakla coming thru!" At bukod sa isang siyang normal lamang na bakla, isa rin siyang papansin na sirena kaya who is he to say no to his bestest bestfriend in the universe? Kaya nga bestie sila ni Sunoo kasi pareho silang papansin. So Jungwon gathered air to his lungs, he raised both his hands in the air, bobbed his head and shout the loudest amongst the ocean of freshies trying to shoot their shot to the "ACE" "LEE HEESEUNG, YOU WILL MARRY ME! PERIOD! LOCKED! TAPON SUSI!" and shit. Yang Jungwon was fucked up because the music stopped and everyone's head is in his direction. Potangina. Nakakahiya.
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Yang Jungwon deactivated his Twitter account. Reason? Or should he say reasons. 1. Nagtrending yung video niyang nagp-propose kay Heeseung sa loob ng isang catholic institution. 2. Heeseung friends as in plural— Sunghoon, Jake, Jay and Niki found his Twitter and they followed him. 3. Hindi niya na kaya. Mamatay siya sa hiya. He's only using his messenger now tapos naka private na yung Instagram niya. He is so not amuse with the happening in his life right now. Binabawi niya na yung sinabi niya last week na gusto niya ng something new sa buhay niya. "Stop it." Inis na sabi sa kanya ni Sunoo na kasalukuyang nagrereview ng discussion nito later for cultural studies. Jungwon ignores his friend he continues biting his nails while his knees are fidgeting. "Sun, I think I developed social anxiety." Jungwon airs his worry to his friend who immediately drops his attention away from his laptop. "Anong developed when you already has it. Sorry Wonie if I had convinced you to do that crazy thing." Sunoo said extremely sorry that his friend is now avoiding the sudden surge of attention to him. "No. Kasi I did it naman wholeheartedly so it was my fault din pero kasi why do they have to post that video." Won said and pouts his lips. Other people do not understand the social media etiquette. Why would they even post a video of someone without their consent. It is terrifying. "Kaya nga. Do you want me to talk sa nagpost? Gusto mo pakyuhan ko?" Sunoo asks his foxy eyes squinting waiting for his friend to give the cue kasi sa totoo lang. Hindi lang pakyu yung gagawin niya, he might send a whole ass essay about consent. "Wag na. Mawawala din yun sa isip ng tao eventually and also—" Jungwon gulps after seeing Heeseung enters the cafeteria. Shit. Ito pala yung top problem niya. Jungwon is a hundred percent sure that Hee had seen the video and of course he recognized his face kasi nga after he embarrassed himself nag-eyes to eyes pa sila ni Heeseung before he pulled Sunoo out of the auditorium."SUN!" He squeaks."He's here. Labas tayo sa cafeteria." Ninerbyus na sabi niya sa kaibigan. Nanlalamig din yung kamay niya sa kaba. Hindi niya na hinintay si Sunoo na magsalita. He grabs his friend's wrist which the latter responded with a frantic movement putting his things inside his tote bag— kahit yung laptop na mabigat. Sunoo thanks the creator of pdf for the automatic highlight save kasi kung walang ganyang feature baka umiyak na siya ngayon sa frustration. Jungwon on the other hand is determined to avoid Hee na lakad takbo na yung ginawa niya palabas sa cafeteria with Sunoo tugging behind catching his breath. Sorry, Sunoo. Jungwon would rather bury his body in the ground than facing Heeseung. ... "Shit Sun!" Jungwon for the third time of the day calls for the younger's name nang namataan niya na naman si Heeseung na paakyat sa FLD building at dahil nasa extension sila papunta sa right wing na daanan din papunta sa engineering building inevitable na magkakasalubong sila ni Heeseung. "Ginagawa mo?" Sunoo asks in confusion. Jungwon covers his face with Louis Tyson Critical Theory book, he tries to subtly cover half of his face— only showing his cat like eyes."Shhh papunta sila Heeseung dito." He replied. This is the third time he avoided Heeseung. Una, yung sa caf. Pangwala, when he saw Heeseung in the Mendel Garden working on his plates buti na lang Jungwon eyes was quick to recognize Hee if not baka nagkita talaga sila doon kasi nga Won likes to study in the garden— super relaxing kasi doon. Masayang mag-aral kung pinapalibutan ka ng mga damo."Kanina ka pa ah. Stop acting na parang nag commit ka ng crime." Sunoo's getting tired of his friends tactic. Pati kasi siya nadadamay like the Mendel incident, he was happily munching his nagaraya when Won pulled him again at muntik na siyang mahulog sa wooden chair all because Won is afraid of Heeseung. "A man asking for man's hand inside a catholic institution in front of nuns and priests means committing sin to their homophobic beliefs." Jungwon justifies his fear, trying to lure his friend to another escape plan. "It is their problem not a 'you' problem. And hello, it is just them bringing Bible to justify their hatred to us. It is not our fault na mas fab tayo kesa sa kanilang mga straight." Sunoo rolls his eyes. Sassiness coming out whenever he remembers that he is studying in a catholic school who's handbook was exclusive only for straights. Like, gays can't grow their hair long because they are still men "biologically" (like what the fuck). "I know, pero kasi! Lam mo na. Baka Heeseung feels uncomfortable with all of this fiasco." That worries Jungwon the most. He had promised himself to provide safer spaces to everyone and what he did had garnered a lot of attentions. So parang he dragged Heeseung into his mess without his permission tapos a lot was like viewing that video pa. What if Heeseung is not comfortable with all that? "Kaya nga, instead of hiding your face. Ask for forgiveness na lang." "I can't. I'm too shy." "So magtatago ka na lang forever?""Hindi naman forever. Hanggang sa mawala lang yung issue.""You literally said that you dragged Heeseung into this tapos hindi ka man lang mag-s-sorry?" Jungwon is aware of that pero how is he supposed to face his crush after what he did? Major fucking turn off. "Shit ka." He said defeated by his conscience. "Shit ka rin." Sunoo replied and flips his hair indicating that he won the argument. Ever so slowly, Jungwon lowers the cover in his face and tries his earnest to appear unaffected kahit na palapit na ng palapit ang proximity nila ni Heeseung. Lord. Gabayan mo po ako! He prays. Jungwon gathers his strength pero hindi pa rin sapat. Kasi at the last minute he sprints dragging Sunoo with him. .... "Tangina mo." "Tangina ka rin." "Stress na ako, Sun!!!" "Punyeta ka. Stress na rin ako sayo." Won sips from his shake tapos tinusok yung dalawang fishball at sabay na kinain making his cheek form into balloon. Nasa labas na sila ngayon ng school. He's safe from Heeseung kasi hindi naman tumatambay yung mga likes nito sa fishballan sa labas ng gate 3. "Sorna. You know where I am coming from naman. Huhuhu!" "Next time bigay ka ng warning na tatakbo kasi muntik na akong gumulong sa hagdan." Inis na sagot ni Sunoo. "Oo na. Kasi naman eh—" To say that Jungwon chokes in his food is an understatement. Muntik na siyang mamatay sa kakaubo literally after spotting Heeseung approaching him. He is sure that the ace is coming after him because his eyes is only after Jungwon. It is like he muted every distraction in the area and he looks like he has one thing in his mind— that is to reach Jungwon. It is too late to runaway because Heeseung is a steps near Won, the younger has no choice but cling to his friend who is equally nervous as him. "Pota Sun!""Ano? Fight or flight?" Sunoo whispers gripping his friend's hand. As much as he wants Jungwon to face Heeseung, the timing is not right. Won is not on his right head space. "Potangina. Di ako pinalaking weakshit. Fight." Won said. Alam niya na he has anxiety and he's flesh is trembling right now but if he's in a situation where he is cornered his option is to face his fear. Sunoo taps Won's back trying to console him. Won inhales an air to relax his heart which is a mistake by the way kasi nag-iihaw ng isaw yung kabilang stall so he coughed a little earning a giggle from Heeseung who's standing in front of him. Jungwon looks at him wide eyes like a child looking at the light of moon. Heeseung feels unreal, he is like a star coming down from his kingdom. His black hair is brush sideways, he is wearing a black shirt and he matches it with a red cap, his lips curves into a smile and his doe eyes stares at Won in amusement. He's like a dream, a wish upon meteors. And Jungwon wishes that Heeseung stays that way because they are millennium away. An ordinary boy like him does not deserve a boy whose eyes blankets the universe. Heeseung is out of his league.
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"Uhm. Sorry po talaga. Joke joke lang po sana namin ni Sun yun. Tapos di ko naman inexpect na lalakas yung sigaw ko. Potangina kasi nung audience biglang tumahimik, may intensyon talaga na ipahiya ako like ang ingay naman nila nung si Sun yung nag c-cheer tas tumahimik nung ako na— is this double—""Breath, Jungwon." If you think kumalma si Jungwon after knowing that Heeseung knows his name, well nagkakamali ka because his heart beat even faster he has to catch his breath. "Tangina mo naman." Jungwon's eyes grow larger as he covered his mouth. He's setting himself up. Instead na bawiin niya yung mga ginawa niya he added fuel to the fire. Now, he looks dumb in Heeseung eyes. Tangina naman kasi, bakit pa ba siya binuhay? They are currently inside the Cafe outside their school, yung Cafè na one time lang nila binisita ni Sun kasi nalula sila sa sobrang mahal. Nung nakita nga niya yung presyo ng isang cake feeling ni Jungwon sinapak siya sa mukha ng kahirapan. So painful. Hindi naman sa kinakampihan niya ang mga hari ng kapitalismo but he can attest that the cafè is worth it. Babalik-balikan kung mayaman lang siya. The wall was painted strip as if it was a movie tool, meron ding mga quotation coming from international films and even local films. It's not hard to guess that the owner is film lover. Masarap tambayan dito kasi nasa gitna nga ito ng city, outside the buzzing noises of student stressing out for the academic merong coffee shop na parang nagsisilbing breather sa mga students. Char sa mayayamang students pala. Jungwon's eyes are on the ground, he has not spared a glance to Hee mula pa kanina. He could feel his cheeks getting red dahil sa kahihiyan but he tries his earnest to appear calm pero hindi talaga kasi series na yung kahihiyan niya. "I'm really sorry." He said seriously this time. "It's okay. I'm just really shock sa sudden fame and I was waiting for your apology." Heeseung said and Jungwon thought na ganitong tao pala si Hee. Yung confrontational type unlike him na kung kaya pa niyang tumakbo, tatakbo talaga siya. Winner kasi siya sa milo marathon dati so like ginawa niyang personality ang pagtakbo. Emz. "Sorry, it took me long. I was so ashamed kasi tapos nadamay ka pa sa mga pinagagagawa ko. Sorry talaga, kung ang diyos nga nakakapagpatawad, ikaw pa kaya." Heeseung giggled with Jungwon's audacity. Ang totoo, hindi naman manipulative at gaslighter si Won. Mahilig lang siyang mag throw ng random joke especially when he's nervous kasi potangina yung coping mechanism niya. Tumawa sa mga bagay na hindi naman dapat pagtawanan. "Are you trying to gaslight me?" "Hindi ah. Nagj-joke lang ako talaga po, sir, Kuya." Muling natawa si Heeseung and Jungwon hope he would stop laughing because he looks a hundred more attractive and its not helping Jungwon. Mamaya mag short circuit na naman yung magulo niyang utak edi mas lalo siyang mapahiya. Hindi pa ba sapat yung kahihiyang pinagdaanan niya? "So ayun sorry po talaga ulit." "It's okay. And I'm just here kasi you left this after you sprinted earlier." Heeseung said and handed him his critical theory book. See, confirmed butas nga and brain niya. Because he forgot his book. "Pwede mo naman po ibigay. Nenerbyus pa ako kanina.""I guess, I am little mean. It's fun seeing you agitated. I anticipated your escape plan." "Grabe ka naman. Maawa ka naman sa puso ko." "I'm sorry." "Wag ka magsorry, nasayo naman." "Ang?" "Puso ko. Nasayo." Tila nabato si Won sa kahihiyan kasi walang preno yung bibig niya, this is the aftermath of his anxiety while Heeseung throws his head back into a fit of laughter. "Cute." Jungwon has seen stars and weddings. Shit ano kayang magandang suit? Magandang wedding venue?Payag kaya si Sunoo maging wedding organizer? "But I'll have to go now Jungwon. It's nice meeting you." Heeseung had paid the bills while Won was still there. Screaming internally. TINAWAG NIYA AKONG CUTE! SINO KA NAMAN DIYAN KIM SUNOO.
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Jungwon's pov "Soo.. ano pinag-usapan niyo?" Tsismosang pagtatanong ni Sunoo while dipping his fries sa tomato catsup na dinekwat niya sa Jollibee— charot. Dumaan kasi kami kanina sa Jollibee at nag-take out ng burger at fries. Ambagan lang kasi mahirap maging mahirap. "Cute ko raw." Namumulang sagot ko at let out a muffled shriek. Tangina kasi namula yata pati kuko sa kilig like, hindi naman ako uhaw sa validation but to be complimented by Lee Heeseung, willing akong magpaka pick me bitch. "Wow sa tagal ng usapan niyo yan lang yung na grasp mo?" Sarcastic na sagot ni Sun at tinapon sakin yung fries na may kagat na. Natawa na lang ako, bitter ang bakla. "Paki mo ba. Maging masaya ka na lang sakin. Ayaw mo nun di na lang French fries kakainin natin next time." "Omg! Ano na yung kakainin natin baks?" "Ti—" "Bastos mo naman!" Halakhak ni Sunoo na nauwi sa ubo dahil na bulunan. Boom deserve. "Tinolang talong. Bastos mo!" Mas lalong lumakas yung tawa niya na kinailangan ko pa siyang suwayin baka marinig kami ng roommate ko na homophobic. Tangina talaga ng babaeng yun bigla raw ba kumatok sa kwarto ko one time at nagbigay ng Bible verse like what the fuck nu gagawin ko dun? Minsan nga nag fa-fake moan kami ni Sun para mastroke na sa galit sa ateng daughter of God pero grabe naman yung judgment gazes towards us gays. "Walang tinolang talong bobo ka?! Tite kamu!" Napailing na lang ako. Sunoo napakabastos pero sanay naman ako, it was actually him who helped me get out of my shell. He made me realize na I shouldn't be afraid of who I am and I shouldn't feel alienated with my identity. Ang totoo niyan dapat sama kami sa boarding house but he has a family here sa city so we have no choice but split apart. Though, lagi naman dito si Sunoo. My room is actually small, sakto lang sa dalawang tao but I am allowed to bring visitors plus kilala na rin si Sunoo dito so hindi na kami pinapagalitan ng may-ari except lang kay ateng katabi ko ng room kasi bothered daw siya sa friendship namin ni Sun to the point na nireport niya kami sa owner. Like fuck ka ate hanap ka bagong hobby. All in all, I live a normal student life. Except that there's a little tweak— dati I was the mainstream film people watches because it's made for the masses but Lee Heeseung changes it a bit. Suddenly, I was an underrated film discovered by a film whore. I know that Lee Heeseung was temporary. Alam ko naman I was just a passerby, I was not meant to take place in his life. Masyadong malayo ang estado namin sa buhay. Literal na langit siya kasi sa penthouse yata siya nakatira while I am here in a compressed ally living with the cockcroaches and rats. "Tigil na akla. So ayun nga he said I am cute tapos natulala lang ako dun at nag-imagine ng kasal namin tapos I was pulled into reality, hindi pala pwede. Langit siya,upa ako." Sunoo’s eyebrows raised, his foxy eyes squinted he lifted his hand and hit my arm. Mahina lang pero ramdam ko ang inis. "Tangina mo. Nakakainis! Why do you always see yourself as someone inferior to others. Lagi mong sinasabi na others are better than you na ganyan ka lang, na ganito lang estado ng buhay natin. Fuck that Won! We are more than this. We are not made to be here and only here under the dust Won. Only if you see yourself in my eyes you would see how beautiful and wonderful you are and you deserve the best kaya wag mong isipin na pang less ka lang. Do not limit yourself— deserve din nating mahalin ng someone great. Please lang Wonie, stop being so mean with your own skin, status and identity." Parang hiningal pa siya sa sinabi niya and I cant help but tear up with his words. Sunoo has always been the fighter between the two of us. He's like the team captain, he would step forward and give directions. He always carries me in his back making sure he's leading me to the right path. "Thank you, Sunny!! Kiss kita. Mwa mwa." He rolled his eyes and deflects my pouty lips landing tuloy sa kamao niya yung nguso ko and he only laugh. ..... Tahimik akong naglalakad sa hallway. Sa wakas nawala na rin ako sa trending phase. The fad ended quickly I am now free to roam around campus without the eyes judging my whole existence. It has been weeks since me and Hee's last talk. I expected it but I was disappointed pero kaunti lang naman. Aware naman kasi ako, siguro umasa lang ako slight. Though, I see him around campus. He's everywhere these days hinayaan ko na lang at hindi ko na kinausap. "Hey!" "Ay tipaklong!" Sigaw ko habang nakahawak ang mga kamay sa dibdib. Tangina! Akmang mumurahin ko na sana ang nanggulat sakin but halted after I directly stare into Heeseung's doe eyes. He is grinning, amusement dances into his orbs. "Grabe. Wag mo na ulitin yun baka masapak kita. Real! Black belter ako sa taekwondo ayaw mo naman magka-blackeye di ba? Naku papangit ka pag ganun mga mukhang ganyan di dapat ginagalusan next time wag mo na—" Heeseung tapped my shoulder and the rants I had stopped in my throat. Parang bigla akong nawalan ng boses. Wow. A touch from him at para na akong tangang tinanggalan ng boses. "Breath, Jungwon." Heeseung said in a most soothing voice. B-bakit ang lambing? Naiimagine ko na naman tuloy yung kasal namin. Shit talaga. I inhaled an air and exhaled it afterwards. I even shake my hands to release the tension in my fingers. "I'm sorry for doing that," Hee said and smiled a little. "You look cute pag nagulat ka." Wala na. Tapos na. Jungwon could already see himself walking in the aisle with Heeseung waiting halfway. "Tangina mo naman. You're not good for my heart Lee Heeseung." He whispered loudly and closed his eyes reminding himself that there are lines he shouldn't cross. "And you think you're good for my heart too?" Lee Heeseung said. Yang Jungwon was deem speechless. He was looking at Heeseung eyes bulging,mouth gaping open, completely surprise with the sudden confession. Parang bombang biglang pinasabog, parang mga lumang salita na muling binigkas, para siyang nilunod sa isang paraiso— sa lugar kung saan may katuparan lahat ng pangarap. "Yang Jungwon, you made my heart play drums." Hindi pa ba sapat na tila mawawalan na ng hininga si Won sa nararamdaman? Kailangan bang muli siyang lunurin ni Heeseung sa lalim ng damdaming pamilyar niya ng nararamdamn tuwing nasa paligid ang nakakatanda. Nakakatakot maniwala. Sino ba siya? Siya lamang si Yang Jungwon, nbsb, matagal ng may crush kay Lee Heeseung, mahirap na cute lamang. Hindi sila bagay ni Heeseung.