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The war is over. Finally fucking over and James should be happy about that. He should be absolutely ecstatic that it is over and that by some miracle the Longbottom kid defeated Voldemort but instead all he feels is an overwhelming sense of dread and loss. Fear coils in his belly and makes him want to pace the front room of his small apartment. He launches himself to his feet when he feels like the energy might explode out of him like a child’s accidental magic but each turn against the wall seems to make it worse.Where does he go from here?What use is a spy when there is nothing and nobody to spy on?Was he ever really a spy to begin with?It is not like James can return to his old life because he has never existed as a regular adult. From the moment he knew what had happened to both Sirius and Regulus there had been no other choice than to throw everything his family had behind protecting them. Sirius was cast out for refusing to serve the Dark Lord and in saving himself they - the Potters that is - never realised they condemned Regulus. Not until it was too late. By the time Sirius had stopped trembling from the curses and managed to keep a meal down it had been hours and they knew Walburga’s grip around her youngest would be too tight to prise him free. Fourteen and too young to understand but Sirius and James knew. Everything Walburga had begrudgingly wanted her oldest to be she would now mould out of Regulus even if meant breaking him in the process. So, the older pair had dedicated themselves to holding what was left of the pieces of him together. They just went about it in different ways. Sirius became a hit-wizard determined to end the war before it could hurt his brother. James played up the role of Pureblood Lord after his father died and relied on wits at the Wizengamot to entice people to their side. He had dinner with the Dark Lord and talked his way out of being marked. Would he not be of more use unblemished and able to wander free?It had been a delicate and dangerous game. James has spent years acting as if he barely knew Regulus one moment and fucking him wildly over the nearest surface once the meetings were over. Just to feel something. Anything. At first, that was all it was and then they both realised no; it was more.It has been four days since Regulus sloped into the apartment and he had not been in a good way then. James had floo’d over from Potter Manor immediately when his elf Taffy had let him know. Regulus had been trembling all over and his eyes had been wild with desperation.“Something big is coming, Jem. Dumbledore found another. I think this is the end. One way or the other. He is going to go after people. I’m not sure who. I-I I can only guess. I am sorry.”And he was right. Voldemort went after Alice and Frank that night. And a host of other targets were attacked by Death Eaters too.Regulus has not been seen since. Sirius insists on being the one to search the streets and alleys and haunts but James can’t sit and wait any longer. He just can’t. *&* He finds Regulus in the middle of Manchester's Wizarding district the following night soaked from head to toe and doing nothing to prevent it. No cloak over his head. No charms to protect him from the harsh November rain. He is just standing there shivering, his dark gray eyes piercing James’ soul as they always do, his hair begging him to come closer. He looks like a half-drowned kitten and James does not give a damn who sees him pull the Death Eater into his arms and kiss him solidly on the mouth. To no response.James pulls him closer.“It is over, Reg.”“Isn’t that the problem?”James says nothing. How can he? He knows what Regulus found. James was the one to heal him back to health when the elf brought him to his apartment delirious and gasping for water with a cursed locket in his hands. “We have time,” he eventually splutters. Time to find a way to save Regulus because they will come for them and they both know it.“We might not.” Regulus sounds so empty. So broken and it kills James. It feels like knives in his own heart because he feels so responsible and that was before the man was his world. And now it is worse and it hurts and he hopes the rain hides his tears as he grabs him. “We do. We do, baby. We will find a way.”“Everyone is celebrating. But I…”“We were never just anyone,” murmurs James as he presses his forehead to his lover’s and takes him home. As they disappear Regulus hears a distant, I won’t fail you again.*&*Regulus goes mute the moment they reach the Manor. James has rarely brought him here. It blurred the lines too much of the roles they had been seen to play. Being taken to his partner’s real bedroom seems too much and the younger man falls silent and docile. He lets James pull him out of his wet clothes and charm him dry before folding him into the soft quilt cover and allowing himself to be held.He tries not to think. About any of it. There is no reaction when his brother appears and lies down on his other side with a sigh. They do not touch. They do not speak. For all Sirius has done to try and protect him over the years their relationship has remained strained; it exists as an odd intangible thing only able to exist if James is there to hold and balance it. Still, Regulus is glad to have him there. *&*The following morning, when Regulus settles into himself again he realises that James is sound asleep behind him and feels guilt pooling in his stomach. He never meant to worry James this much. Merlin, he never meant for James to get involved with it at all but there was something about him like a gravitational pull that grabs him and draws him back to the older man. It scares him sometimes, just how dependent he has become upon James for every aspect of his life.But not always.Sometimes it is nice to think that if he makes it through this then he can relax. Someone else might take care of him and let him just exist for a while. So far he has managed to get out of the war alive but that does not mean that he is free. And he is under no illusion that everyone will lay down their arms now the Longbottom kid has achieved a miracle. He does not know who found Caradoc Dearborn, or why Frank and Alice had chosen him as their Secret Keeper, but the body will haunt Regulus for years. Bellatrix had gleefully reported it had taken days of torture for him to crack. Dumbledore insists they must say they never found it at all because admitting to what is left of him is harder than wondering for his family.
Too many see victory; Regulus sees the vacuum left behind. His mind is back within himself now but buzzes too much for him to lie still. His stomach annoys him as if unsure if he needs food or drink or both. He can’t remember the last full meal that he had but he knows he’s been eating. His magic would just not have held up if he wasn’t. Or maybe it has just been the wine. Wine can be fuel, he thinks to himself blearily, and it explains why he feels generally out of it now. The last few days are a blur though. He twitches and squirms in place for fifteen minutes before hearing his brother drawl, “You could just ask me to move.”“Have you been awake this whole time?” Regulus asks quietly, body going rigid, mind screaming as he tries not to shout out loud or snap or do anything to wake James.“Pretty much,” hums Sirius as he casually sits up and leaves the bed thus giving Regulus room to do the same. The younger brother rolls over the top of the mattress, pulling his wand from the side table where James had left it as he goes, and gets gingerly to his feet. He wastes no time in poking his brother firmly in the ribs.“You are a fucking wanker.”“I mean, yes, but most of us are Reg unless something isn’t working properly but I know that is not the case for you because Prongs refuses to shut the fuck up or if one is of the asexual persu-”“You know what I mean you twat,” hisses Regulus as he pushes past his brother and makes for the door. He cannot decide if he is happy or not when Sirius follows him down the stairs. It probably helps that one of them knows where they are going and neither brother says anything about the way Sirius quietly points out where Regulus can find the kettle, a selection of teas and the cold store. A house-elf appears for a second but Sirius dutifully ushers it away as if he senses that Regulus needs to do something with his hands. But Regulus still freezes at the sight of the small creature. “Oh Merlin-”“He’s fine,” snaps Sirius as if outraged to have to talk about their own family’s house-elf. “The elves here saw him healed right up before he went back to mother and promised to keep your secrets. You swore him to secrecy and he has accepted all mention of me and James protects you too.”“I know that you do not like him, Siri-”“Understatement,” snaps Sirius once more before he softens and eases himself up onto one of the worktops as Regulus moves around him to the kettle, “But I know you do. So, whatever. I would rather we moved on, if you do not mind. How are you holding up?”“Not sure.”“Where did Prongs find you?”“None of your business.”“Right. Were you hurt?”“Nope.”“Good. Are you going to have a proper conversation with me at all?”“Probably not.”“Suits me. James can’t accuse me of not trying at least. I’ll get the biscuits. You can be an adult and have proper food if you like but we just won a war and I’m having something with chocolate on it,” declares Sirius as he slips off the countertop and starts raiding the cupboards. “You’re such a child,” murmurs Regulus, but he is half-smiling. It feels good. *&*James finds him later on that morning staring at a letter on the breakfast table and sighs. He had hoped for a little more time given that Regulus found Dumbledore several damn parts of Voldemort’s soul of all things. That seems to show on his face and Regulus quirks a smile and gestures to the teapot and his own cup. The tea is still hot and James can refill his while on his feet goes unsaid. James raises his eyebrow but complies before sitting down with another sigh. He is too young to feel this bone tired.“Where is Sirius?”“Don’t know. Don’t particularly care,” states Regulus more cheerfully than James expects, “He had some tea and, well, he called it breakfast about an hour ago and then went outside or left. Not sure.”“Sounds about right,” James mutters into his teacup before gesturing to the letter in his lover’s hands, “So what’s this then? Better be a letter from Dumbledore protecting you after the whole soul machine crap.”“They can never know that the Dark Lord made Horcruxes,” Regulus says sharply, “ Merlin, no one who does not already know should even know what one is. Even my mother was horrified to understand them and she…she-”“Is a fucking monster,” snaps James and Regulus glowers at him because for some reason he still holds something akin to positive emotion for his parents and James and Sirius simply cannot shake that out of him. “Sorry, anyway, I take it this is a summons for a trial or something then?”Regulus clears his throat and takes a sip of his tea before slipping his reading glasses back on his face with a slight pinkening of his cheeks. He always feels self-conscious about them but James only finds them adorable. “Something like that. I am not on trial, yet. Dumbledore has vouched for me and said I went to him the moment I knew I was to be marked. He’s…sticking his neck out if I am honest and playing majorly on the fact that I was a kid and he really shouldn’t have been doing that-”“He shouldn’t! He should have got you out of there and-”“And for the moment they are more interested in what I learned,” continues Regulus while completely ignoring his lover’s outburst. “Snape is up on charges and I can name names. Bigger names than his greasy, creepy, stalker arse that is for sure.”“Dangerous that.”“They already know I’m a spy. A grass if you will. Snape was inner circle. The Dark Lord made sure he knew a lot and also did not so that the information could not be taken from him. I mastered lurking. Besides, what is the point of winning if the government does not change? We can’t let Crouch become Minister when his own son was licking Voldemort’s boots,” Regulus implores before his face pinches and he shudders. “Literally. Fucking creep.”James looks at the table with fury building inside of him because Regulus was just a boy at sixteen. He deserves better than this. His attention is fixed on a blemish in the wood when long pale fingers cover his own fisted hands. He hadn’t noticed he had clenched them.“I knew this would happen,” Regulus says gently. “It was never going to be fair. War never is. I just need to try and keep out of Azkaban. That is all that I can ask for. Or hope that it is a short sentence. I never killed anyone but I’m hardly innocent either.”“You deserve to be an equal member of society and they won’t-”“That is overrated,” Regulus replies with an undignified snort. “And anyway, I have a rich sugar daddy to take care of me don’t I? I don’t need a job or to be part of society. I can lounge around here being a right pillow princess.”And really it is frightfully inappropriate to get hard at the breakfast table when talking about war trials. James does it anyway and then fucks Regulus over that same table for good measure. The teacups lie scattered on the floor in pieces.James grins into Regulu’s shoulder upstairs after a second round when he hears Sirius shriek from downstairs having put two and two together like the smart bloke he is.*&*James still has a role to play before the dust settles and playing it safe to both sides before word of Regulus’ role gets out means he manages to meet with the Lestrange brothers and get them turned over to Sirius by lunchtime. Moody is furious when Sirius dumps bodies at his feet instead of suspects only to be informed, “Should have sent an Auror then, shouldn’t you? Or a team? Only you seem to be running out of them since they don’t have the teeth for this whether allowed to aim to kill or not. I don’t interrogate. I eradicate. I’m not a lackey for the Ministry, old man. I joined to eliminate vermin then take my gold and go home with my family safe. Mission accomplished.”James sighs and shakes his head. All those political lessons as a child and not a single sentence penetrated his brother’s skull. “Sorry about him,” he drawls slowly before glancing around the corridor and stepping out of the dark corner he had concealed himself within, “I’ll have my cut now though.”Moody snarls and puts his cash from the Order of the Phoenix into James’ hand, “You should have been more than a bounty hunter and spy, Potter.”“Just remember that you owe me, Moody. For a fair few things. You should have ended this before I was old enough to be involved and see my classmates turned into soldiers for both sides and slaughtered,” James replies briskly before he apparates away. Regulus never had time to warn anyone about Marlene, Lily and Dorcas and it still hurts. *&*The music is unnerving when he first apparates into the front hallway of the Manor. Haunting and jarring because no one has played the piano since his mother died when he was sixteen. Still, confident in his wards and the lack of chaos he follows the music up to her old music room where the site takes his breath away. Regulus sits at the grand piano. His long pale fingers drift over the keys with practised ease. James recognises the music but can’t remember the name of it. He knows exactly how Regulus was taught to play and it is the reason Sirius abstains from playing out of principle. If Walburga Black was not so gifted with healing charms as torture then her son’s hands would be scarred over the knuckles as James had observed in Barty Crouch Junior and Alecto Carrow. It is a shame because if he is half as talented as his brother James reckons he would be mesmerised by Sirius playing just as much. The slight tension in Regulus’ shoulders tells James he is aware of his presence so he moves around the edge of the room to slowly come into his peripheral vision. He does not want to startle him or, worse, make him stop playing. Only when Regulus pulls his hands from the keys does James speak. “You play beautifully.”If he had not spent years training himself to notice everything about people he might have missed it but there is a slight drop in the younger man’s shoulders. Ah. Walburga would not allow him to play any other way. “What I mean to say is, I enjoyed that very much. For some reason, I just never had the coordination needed to have both hands and feet on the go with a piano. Mother would be glad to see it no longer gather dust.”“She tried to teach you?”It is soft and a little rugged and Regulus does not turn to look at him. James wonders if he has been crying.“Yes. A few times. I just never quite managed it. I was getting pretty good at the clarinet when I went to Hogwarts but then without mother hanging over me…”“You never practised.” James thinks he can hear a smile and takes that.“I was busy with other things and it is communal dorms in Gryffindor, remember? I don’t think everyone would have enjoyed my practice. Your brother definitely didn’t have the patience for it and threatened to shove it up my arse if I remember right..”“Urgh, so barbaric. Every house should have individual rooms. Sure, they were small but sometimes you just need some fucking time to yourself.”Oh.Right.“Is…that what you need now? I had not heard piano here for years so I just-”“No. It is fine, Jem. I just meant….at school you know? You got me thinking. Narcissa would have ended someone who witnessed her struggling with her period cramps and can you imagine sharing a room with Bellatrix? In general, I mean? Sharing a house for a few years was bad enough. Merlin, how did you even get a wank in peace in that tower?”James snorts and then laughs as the tension breaks and he makes his way closer to the piano.“We got really good at silencing charms really damn quickly.”Regulus grins for a second and then he tenses up again, “Ah Merlin’s balls. Sometimes I remember you shared a dorm with my brother at the worst times.”James laughs again and gingerly joins Regulus on the edge of the piano stool. He wants to enjoy the warmth of the moment but the world continues to close in on them, to batter down on their defences, just as the rain batters down on the roof above them. The gold in his pocket is heavy and James wishes he could plan to spend it spoiling Regulus rather than hoping it will persuade Amelia Bones to defend him in court. “Has there been any other news?”“I am, ah, invited to attend the Ministry of Magic for questioning tomorrow morning.”“Is Dumbledore going with you? Reg? That bastard!”“Jem, don’t-”“No!” James snarls as he gets to his feet to begin pacing the room, “Sirius and I had a plan! We would have got you out of this cesspit of a country and none of this had to happen but he…he…”“I chose this, Jem,” murmurs Regulus, “I was sixteen but I was not a child. I am not Sirius, okay? I never will be. Blasting my way through front doors and taking down Dark Wizards? That was never going to be me. I’m not as good with a wand and I just…urgh, no. But I did something to stop this and I did it my way and if I have to pay-”“You shouldn’t have to pay!”“I love you.”The wind leaves James’ sails and he half stumbles back to the piano stool.Regulus has never said that out loud before. “Oh. Well. Right then. Brill. I-I love you too.”“I know.”It is not overdone with emotion. It is flat and Regulus stares right through him. It says more than love.“You cannot save me, James.”A lot of words tumble through his mind but come out as the truth and it is resigned, “I know.”“You and Sirius wanted to.”“Of course we did. We do. Anyone would.”“No, they wouldn’t,” murmurs Regulus as he shifts enough to let his head fall on James’ shoulder.James wants to cry. And he wants to feel.Before the younger man can talk once more James grasps firmly at his knee. “Jem?”“Please? I need…I need to know we are alive. Tomorrow can be for tomorrow but… I want. I need...please. If you can give me it, Reg, please.”Regulus shudders under his grasp but does not say anything as James moves his hand up his thigh. He spreads his legs and lets them tip off the feet of the piano. He grunts when James’ hand reaches his crotch and immediately covers it with his own, grinding James’ palm into his growing erection.“This what you need?”“I- Reg-”“I don’t top nicely, Potter. You know that.”James whimpers at his side and their shoulders press against one another as Reg grinds James’ hand down further. “I’ll fuck you over this piano.”“Please.”Regulus seems to come back to himself for a second because colour fills his cheeks and he shoves James’ hand away before awkwardly getting to his feet. “Merlin, this is your mother’s. FUCK!”James has followed him, crawled over the top of the stool, and sunk his hands into the back of Regulus’ robed arse. “Please,” he repeats and Regulus covers the hands crawling over his hip bones and tries to get a breath.“James. You’re not thinking right. You’re-”“I want you. I want you to take me in this room. I want you to pin me over that piano and rut into me like a fucking animal and remind me that I survived. That we both did.”“Morgana Jem”, breathes Regulus as he turns on his feet only to immediately have James’ face pressed to his crotch. “Fuck.”“Please,” repeats James.“On your knees over here,” babbles Regulus, as he backs towards the piano stool once more and all but falls onto it. He makes to pull his robes off when James gets just enough open to free his cock and immediately sucks at the head, “Fuck! James, baby please let me get us naked alright? Let me see you. Let me - fuck- see you.”James whines around his dick and Regulus is forced to bodily shove him to the floor as he pants and claws at his own clothes. His hard, half-exposed dick, makes everything more difficult than it needs to be and riles him up even more than before. When they are both naked he grabs James by the back of his head and forces his dick down the older man’s throat. James half sputters but then grabs at the back of Reg’s arse and moans. The vibrations make Reg feel harder still and he thrusts his hips into the warm awaiting mouth with a smile. “You never switch often but, Jamie, you’re such a beautiful little bitch. Such a beautiful bitch. Come on, take more, you can do it. Fuuuuck, yes, you can do it!”James pushes him back until he’s fully sat on the piano stool, legs spread thrusting up with gasping breaths. Reaching behind him he slams the lid over the piano keys and then all but collapses against it. Ha makes sure to grasp for James’ hand and squeeze once, to make sure he is ok. The edge of his arse balances against the side of the stool and he delights in lying against the cool of the wooden cover and watching James groan on his cock, pull free with spit dripping before he presses his cheek against him and laps at his balls. “Such a pretty bitch,” murmurs Regulus, “You gonna take this cock huh? You gonna take this cock over this fucking piano?”It is Regulus who quickly presses against James’ hand but still quickly, a signal between them both that he is not sure but don’t stop. It takes him more time than he would like to push at his partner’s shoulders and rock James back onto his knees. He looks wrecked and Regulus forgets what he is about to say for a moment. His mind stutters more when James merely smiles at him. Coyly.“Should I get myself ready for you?”Regulus stops thinking then and the last shine he notices in James’ eyes tells him that is the point and he loves him for it.*&*James moves into the dining room gingerly the next morning and Regulus pales. He feels horrendous. Sirius, of course, makes things worse by cheering and waving his arms and sticking his unwanted thoughts into everything.“Atta boy, little brother. Didn’t know you had it fucking in you. Pun intended. He’s buckled! Try to be gentle today, won’t you? I have business to take care of. I really need to know Prongs is ready to go if needed. ”He is gone a moment later but Regulus is left with the guilt.“James, I am -”“Ignore him. He’s a bastard.”“But you’re-”“A bit sore? Yeah. I like it,” states James as he reaches for toast and some butter, “You did not do anything I did not want you to do and that is all that matters.”“I hurt you.”James pauses mid-buttering and tilts his head this way and that, “A bit. But I wanted it. I liked it. I probably won’t want you to do it for a while but that is not because of how I feel now. I just don’t switch often. I’m lucky that you switch with me.”“I-”“Reg. Don’t you dare sit there and act like I have never left you feeling a bit rough the next day.”Regulus sighs, “I do prefer being fucked but it was…just tell me if I screw anything up ok? I said some stuff and you seemed ok with it but…tell me.”“Baby, you think you were in control but if there was anything I did not like I would have blasted you into the wards quicker than you could have blinked.”“Erm I-”“If you could fetch more tea though, that would be grand.”“Right.”Regulus dutifully makes his way to the kitchen and sets about sorting out another pot of tea. James needed the previous night and he can understand that but it has boosted Regulus too. Now that he has the reassurance to settle his nerves and confirm the thoughts whirring in his head. As he moves back towards the dining room James looks entirely too impressed with himself and Regulus rolls his eyes.“So what is this important business my brother was whittering about?”“People to find. Talks to be had. Arses to kick. Evidence to present.”“Evidence.”“Of your…well hardly innocence but-”“Oh, Jem not this. I can handle myself and whatever this all brings. I can handle anything but Azkaban…and if that happens then I will handle that too.”“I won’t,” comments James quietly as he fills his mug with tea and contemplates the rack of toast. He says it so calmly it might be mistaken for a comment on the weather. “I won’t cope if you go to Azkaban and neither will Sirius. And we are Maurauders. Stubborn. We have Remus and Peter on the case.”Regulus raises an eyebrow and stares James down in such a way the older man wonders if his mother used to sit him in front of a mirror and make him practice. “Forgive me if my future being in the hands of a werewolf, my brother and Peter Pettigrew does not fill me with confidence.”“You don’t care that Remus is a werewolf so shut up on that front. Peter’s smarter than you think. Not book smart and not overly powerful but he reads people well. He has contacts,” says James, putting a spoon of sugar in his tea and then offending Regulus deeply by dipping his wet spoon back into the bag to get more. “It was always important that no one knew everything. I couldn’t tell you before. I didn’t know everything before. That is where your fleabag brother was yesterday.”“Getting status reports from your Marauders?”“If you want to put it like that, yeah. Amongst other things.”“You didn’t mention my brother there again, I notice.”Because clearly they need to do that. James puts his mug on the table and folds his hands on the old wood so that he can give his partner his full attention. All sense of humour and teasing is gone.“I don’t like to get between your relationship. End of the day that is between you and Padfoot. But that man would burn the whole fucking world down for you Regulus Arcturas and I’d help him do it. You need to start respecting that and maybe acknowledge it sometime too.”“I do resp-”“No, you don’t. You have no idea what he would do for you. What he has already done. He never wanted you to know but maybe after all of this you will get it.”Regulus shifts in his seat. He pushes everything James has said around in his head.“Jem…where is Sirius right now?”“Meeting with your father and grandfather.”And that is when Regulus feels like the air has left his lungs. “We need to go and get him! Right now! They will make it look like an accident!”He is on his feet with his cloaked summoned for the November storms before he can register that James is laughing at him. “Merlin’s balls, Reg. No one is planning to murder Sirius. They will be too preoccupied with you for a start.”Me?”“Sirius is going to appeal to your elders to take him…not back into the fold. But the more united you all appear, the more Sirius can do to throw his weight around. Everyone knows your father is living on borrowed time. Your mother was…She can blow him off tapestries but she could not disown him from the Lordship and your grandfather never did that. Sirius is the next Lord Black. If the four of you go to the Ministry together, then you stand more of a chance and I’m working on other people.”Regulus scowls and throws his cloak down the end of the table for good measure.“The war is supposed to change things. I don’t want to be looked after because of the ‘boy’s club’.”James peers at him and scowls, “How the fuck did you end up in Slytherin?”“Being around Gryffindors so much rubs off on a guy. Also, we are no longer eleven.”“Point. But survival instinct, Reg. We can change the world out in the real world not in prison cells, okay?”Regulus looks down into his lap, the anger fading out of him just as quickly as it had come. “He never wanted to go back. Sometimes I am still amazed that he wants to talk to me.”“He hates your mother,” James states bluntly, “She was utterly abhorrent towards him. There are things that happened that you don’t know, baby, and I will not betray his trust by telling you.”“I know about the unforgivables,” Regulus says quietly, taking James aback. “I caught her. After. Sirius was…he didn’t know where he was. Who he was. She was going to leave him there on the library floor, just twitching in pain and drooling. My perfect older brother reduced to…it was horrible. The room was so hot and I…I couldn’t leave him there. I summoned Kreature. He was ordered not to help me so I…dragged Sirius to his room myself. That was….that was…”“That was what?” James asks quietly, almost timidly as if he will scare Regulus off. The thunder storms are so loud now that he has to strain over the table to hear the response. “That was when I committed to this war and to ending it. Before he left. Before she turned her attention to me. I was already Dumbledore’s man. She tortured her own son because he was not what a pureblood was supposed to be in her eyes. She tolerated Sirius being home for the summer at all but never approved of him being with friends because of how it looked. Yet Lily Evans….Merlin her parents were bawling in that train station every end of term, Jem. They were so fucking happy to see her come home and our mother…I don’t love her the way you think I do. I’m just not as brave as Sirius. I can’t just…cut her out. I can’t. But I swore that day when I was dragging his lifeless body down the corridor that I was never going to be the Death Eater they wanted me to be. I was going to make sure there was never another Sirius! What the hell does blood purity matter if you can’t love your child? Where do you think Bellatrix learned how to do it? Use that curse? It was our fucking mother that taught her not the Death Eaters!”He’s crying now. Sobbing his words out and feeling like a child and James looks sad. Devastated really. But it does not feel like pity.“You have no idea how much you love each other. Pair of stubborn emotionally constipated twats. Sometimes I wonder how either of you can stand to be in this house when I-”“Don’t you dare apologise for having good parents, James Fleamont Potter. Don’t you dare! Parents like yours and like Lily’s showed kids like me and Sirius that our lives were wrong. That’s why…how can he go to them? How can we trust them?”“Them?” James says slowly, “Your father?”“He never stopped her. He didn’t protect him. Us.”“This is different,” James says awkwardly. “I know that sounds like such bullshit but it is true. Sirius is not a child anymore. He won’t let Orion push him around. Or Arcturas. Their help is appreciated but we have a plan without it.”“Yes, your plan. The one you have still not explained to me.”“I will.”“I’m waiting.”James laughs, “Alright. We talk to Dumbledore. We talk to Moody.”Regulus snorts and then looks mildly horrified at his own behaviour, “Moody?”“He owes me.”“Fucking hell, Potter. Tell me you are not trying to bribe the Head Auror.”“Well I won’t tell you then. Don’t underestimate me. I know a lot of people. Good people. Augusta Longbottom and-”“Alright, you’ve finally snapped,” murmurs Regulus as he gets to his feet and reaches for his cloak again, “Death Eaters just orphaned her grandson!”“And you tried to warn us! You did. The Order had everyone on the streets but me that night looking for clues and ready to spring into action. I was waiting for you because Dumbledore feared for your life after the warning. Benjy Fenwick was cornered by seven Death Eaters when Remus led that team in! Yes, Frank and Alice are gone but we rallied to the Bones Manor! Susan Bones is not an orphan because of you. That matters to people, Reg! Merlin I didn’t even tell you,” breathes James. At some point he has joined Regulus on his feet but his hands are still braced on the table that creaks in protest. “Tell me what?!”“Bellatrix is dead.”Regulus blinks. “Yes, you told me that Sirius you managed to trick the Lestranges intohis trap yesterday. I assume only so many were taken alive.”“Yes….the brothers. Sirius responded to the distress calls from Edwin Bones two nights ago with two other members of the order, Elphias Doge and Dedalus Diddle. The scum were trying to torture the locasion of Amelia out of them so that when Voldemort took out the Longbottoms the Auror department would collapse. Sirius immediately took on Bellatrix and nearly destroyed a wing of the manor duelling her. He killed her, Reg. That is why Crouch and the Lestrange brothers fled. They couldn’t believe it. And this comes from Diddle, not Sirius boasting. He’s not spoken about it yet. Crouch is still at large but it is a matter of time.”“I…don’t understand how that helps me,” murmurs Regulus as his wind whirls. Sirius had never even given an inclination that he had killed Bellatrix.Or been in such a recent fight for his life for that matter.“It shows a Black will cross wands with their family to protect what they think is right. And you know what both Bellatrix and Sirius are like. She tried to unnerve him using you. A lot about your childhood was thrown around as jibes with witnesses. When it comes out that you were working for Dumbledore all along….it will go a long way. The whole Order knows we have an inside man or two. Add the Order to Lords and Heirs and the simple facts and …please just have faith in us.”“Us or us.”James smiles softly and pushes up from the table to reach across and grasp Regulus’ hand, “Both.”“I’m scared, Jem.”“You would be a fool not to be. I…I needed last night to fall apart. Now? I’m here. I’m going nowhere. We are going to be ok.”“Because my brother is going to burn the world down?”“Because I’ll hand him the oil to start the fire if I have to and when the world is burning and distracted our friends will get you out. We took an oath. You’re part of it now.”*&*It takes Regulus a good few hours to settle. He finds his way back to the piano and plays for hours. James is focussed and Regulus can’t bear to watch him try to create a case to save own his soul from the dementors. A letter from Dumbledore finally does appear and days ago the words would have lifted Regulus; full of promises to be by his side in court and speak for him. Now though, it feels detached. To Dumbledore, Regulus is one of many he seeks to defend for their actions during the war. It is not that he does not appreciate it. He just feels more protected here, dare he even think it, more important.To James and Sirius, he is the only focus.So when Sirius reasurfaces just before dinner time Regulus hurries down the stairs as soon as he hears the first bark of laughter. “Ah, little bro- Oof!”Regulus crashes into him with such force that both Sirius and the dining room table go flying into the wall, the force of the younger brother’s body weight forcing Sirius back onto the wood with a dull thud. Something falls to the floor with a clatter. The table protests loudly but holds firm. It is the first time the brothers have hugged in over a decade and once in the embrace neither seems sure how to react. For several minutes they lie there until Sirius begins to wriggle slightly.“Not that….this is not…but you are killing my back here.”Regulus springs off him, cheeks burning and hands sweaty, as if electrocuted but Sirius takes a moment to right himself, sorting his sleeves as he gingerly gets to his feet. James is nowhere in sight but Regulus is aware of him in the kitchen and appreciates that he is giving them time. “Guessing James filled you in on some stuff.”“All of it,” breathes Regulus, staring at his brother the way he did when he was but a boy. As if Sirius a hero. His hero.Then Sirius has to be Sirius and snorts.“Not all of it, I am sure.”“No. But I already knew that she used the cruciatus curse on you. That is what you thought I didn’t know right?”Sirius flinches and shakes his head before commenting, “I don’t know what you-”“How do you think you got off the library floor? You really think she did it? That she would let Kreature do it?”Sirius shudders and steps back once more to push up and sit on the table before burying his head in his hands. “ I thought father might have-”“Might have what? Involved himself in our existence? Don’t be ridiculous, brother. He buried his head in a pile of sand filled with wine the moment he was forced to marry his cousin and never looked up since.”“Well, I thank you then.”“I could never have left you there. Sirius ….did you really go to them? To our grandfather?”Sirius drops his hands and looks tired. HIs smile is wry.“I have got to say. I cannot decide if they respect the fact that I ended that bitch of a cousin of ours or fear me for it or both. And I definitely don’t know what I think about their opinions on it.” Regulus is about to give his opinion when his brother’s face hardens and he continues, “Grandfather says no Black worth respect would lower themselves to using torture curses upon one of their own after I described the duel. She tried it but I was quicker. Anyway, our father looked as if he had swallowed a lemon. Or had skele-gro. Or both. His guilt plays into our hands though. He will do as he is told.”“That is very Slytherin of you. No! Don’t get mad,” chuckles Regulus before gesturing a thumb towards the kitchen where James is making enough noise to almost convince them he is not listening in. “James pretty much accused me of being a Gryffindor earlier when I tried to protest this whole…political game you have got going on.”“This isn’t even about politics, Reg. This about how our family is vile and they owe us because they failed us. If they were not so …so…so fucking ridiculous we could have left and not even have been part of this war. We are going to be different. We are different.”Regulus knows this is the moment to try and build a relationship with his brother no matter what his personal end fate is. It is going to hurt both of them but it is needed. The way the kitchen has gone silent encourages him to speak up. Now.“You could have left? You had one foot out the door.”The thunder clap means Sirius has to repeat himself but that when he does he is right in front of his brother with a hand on his shoulder, “No, no I could not. Whatever is coming then we face it together. You. Me. Your sugar daddy-”“PADFOOT!”“And everything we have put together. You’re a hero, brother. I’m not going to rest until the world knows.”Regulus covers the hand with his own, “I don’t feel like one.”Sirius looks sad for a moment but pulls Regulus into his arms as James crashes into the room full of steam and shouts until he sees them and falls quiet. “That’s why you are one, brother.”“Everything ok?”Regulus feels his eyes fill up again. Merlin, again and buries his face in his brother’s chest while reaching for James. “I think it will be.”