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Five year old Kathani Sharma arrived in her brand new kindergarten classroom and rubbed her nose, unseating the hot pink plastic glitter spectacle frames that she was still getting used to. It had been almost a week since she got them, ever since the nurse at the pre-K health screening showed her parents that she needed glasses. She had almost cried when she realized that she couldn’t clearly see or identify the shapes on the bottom lines of the eye chart. She thought it meant that something was wrong with her and that she wouldn’t be able to go to school, something she had been looking forward to all summer.But the doctor had smiled kindly at her and told her all she needed was a pair of glasses to see just as well as anyone else. The doctor tapped her own purple wire rimmed specs and added “Not everyone is lucky enough to wear glasses. Welcome to the club!”Since that time, Kathani felt special, like her glasses gave her a superpower. When her eyes fell upon the sparkly pink pair at the store, she knew they were meant for her. Putting them on made her feel like her favorite superhero, Ms. Marvel, Kamala Khan. Her Abba, Rakesh, and stepmother, Mary, smiled. “If anyone was born to stand out, it’s our Kathani,” Mary laughed as she wrapped Kathani up in a hug.Suddenly Kathani didn’t have to squint to see far away. She relished the sharp new sight her glasses gave her. Nani, her grandmother and aunties back in India cooed over her new look as Mary videochatted with them and sent videos of Kathani twirling around in a matching pink dress she had picked out all by herself for her first day at school.Only one sourpuss uncle laughed “Better not try to look too smart, beti. None of the boys like girls who are smarter than they are.”His comment was met with a chappal to the side of his head from his mother, Kathani’s nani who added “Is that why you are still unmarried, Hemant?”—-As Mary and Appa dropped her off in the classroom, they each took a moment to kiss her on the cheek and Mary straightened Kathani’s glasses before sending her off into a new world.Kathani’s teacher welcomed her and led her to a table where she introduced her to three other children, Marina, Genevieve and Tom. Genevieve was chatting animatedly and showing Tom her brand new crayons while Marina quietly sipped on her juice box and waved shyly at Kathani.Suddenly all heads swiveled to the classroom door as a small boy with dark hair created a minor ruckus as he twisted out of his heavily pregnant mother’s grasp and his father briefly let go of the hands of the two small boys he was holding to prevent his eldest son from escaping.“Anthony Bridgerton!” his father said exasperatedly, managing to grab his son’s backpack handle. “We discussed this.”The boy’s mother looked equally harried as she spun to grab the twin toddler boys who had just discovered the sweetness of freedom moments before having it ripped away courtesy of their mother’s quick reflexes.Violet Bridgerton knelt down beside Anthony who to his horror could feel tears welling up as he twisted his face into a scowl to keep the tears from falling. “Dearest,” she said, her voice softening. “You are a big brave boy now, a gentleman, who gets to have many new adventures and will make many new friends. How does a gentleman act on his first day of school?”The boy, who Kathani now knew was named Anthony, sighed heavily and then as if a switch had been thrown, he straightened his shoulders and looked directly at his parents. “A gentleman sets an example for everyone,” he said as if he had memorized it.Edmund and Violet smiled kindly. “That’s our young gentleman,” Edmund said gently and patted Anthony on the shoulder.The teacher collected Anthony after a brief whispered conversation with his parents and led him over to Kathani’s table as he kept his head held high and his gaze straight ahead. Kathani had been watching the scene carefully and could not miss the fact that his parents exchanged worried glances with each other before silently stepping back outside.Anthony wordlessly took the last empty seat at the table between Marina and Kathani. Marina quietly reached into her backpack, pulled out another juice box and slid it toward Anthony. Nobody looked at each other or said anything for a few moments until Genevieve asked the group what their favorite colors were.Tom jumped in first with “Green!” Genevieve loved purple. Kathani grinned and threw her hands in the air as she declared “Pink!” which made Tom, Genevieve and Marina laugh. Marina even seemed to lose some of her shyness as she shared that yellow was her favorite color because her mother used to say that she was her beautiful sunflower.Only Anthony remained silent, still staring at his untouched juice box.Marina reached out her hand to Anthony. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” she said.Out of the corner of her eye, Kathani saw Anthony swallow hard. —-The rest of the day passed without much incident as the kindergartners learned each other’s names and some important rules which Ms. Trinh wrote on the board.Tom noticed Kathani putting her glasses up on her head and pulling them down. “What are you doing, Kat-annie?” he asked.“Ka-THA-ni” she corrected him. “You say it like this” as she showed him how to put his tongue to the roof of his mouth.“Ka-THA-ni” Tom repeated correctly and smiled when Kathani gave him a huge smile and a nod.“I’m using my superpower glasses to see the board clearly,” she explained as if she were letting everyone in on a huge secret.The table “ooohed” in awe, except for Anthony who for the first time that day made a loud scoffing sound as four heads swiveled in unison toward him.“You don’t have superpowers and your glasses don’t either,” he said. “Glasses just mean you can’t see right and that you can’t do normal things anymore like play soccer or you might break them. Swimming isn’t as fun either since you can’t see markers far away.”Kathani was stunned. Besides her rude uncle, no one else had made her feel like her glasses didn’t make her extra special until Anthony. But what he said couldn’t be true and what did he know anyway.“You’re just jealous, because not everyone is lucky enough to wear glasses” Kathani retorted, sticking out her tongue at him for good measure.“Yeah!” added Tom, earning an eyeroll from Anthony.“I think they’re cool,” said Genevieve. “If I wore glasses, I would want them to be sparkly like yours, but purple!”The table giggled as Anthony huffed in irritation.—-The end of the day came all too soon for Kathani, who had enjoyed almost every minute of her first day. Almost. She was bursting to tell Appa and Mary all about it.She waited inside until only she and Anthony were left with Ms. Trinh who was already setting things up for tomorrow. Kathani noticed that Anthony moved closer to the board and seemed to be reading the rules that had been written up earlier.“Do you know how to read?” she asked him.“A little,” he responded quietly.“Me, too!” she said, excited to learn that someone else could do the same thing she could.“Why are you so happy about it?” he asked, frowning in a way that made a little vertical line form between his eyebrows. “My cousin said I was a freak because everyone else only starts reading in first grade.”“I’m not a freak!” shouted Kathani angrily, startling Ms. Trinh who gently admonished her for using such a word before kindly adding that no one is a freak, least of all kids like Kathani and Anthony.“But don’t you care if other people think you are?” he asked hesitantly, careful not to repeat the word that made Ms. Trinh mad.“No,” she said. “They’re stupid if they think that.” Anthony just stared at Kathani for a moment as if considering what she said. He looked like he was about to say something more when Edmund Bridgerton rushed in, child-free, apologizing for his tardiness and mumbling something about the twins getting covered with paste at preschool and Violet having to cover the carseats with trashbags before heading over.Anthony dutifully hopped out of his chair and made his way over to his father, pausing for a moment to turn and wave. “Bye, Ms. Trinh. Bye, Kathani. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” he said shyly, smiling a bit guardedly and pronouncing her name perfectly.Edmund stilled for a moment, pleasantly surprised by his sometimes challenging young son’s outburst. He turned and saw a tiny girl with voluminous black curls, incandescent brown skin, bright pink glasses who seemed to carry herself with a confidence notwithstanding the decidedly confused expression on her face as she regarded Anthony wave back at both of them.“Ah” Edmund thought as he smiled and waved back at the uniquely poised young girl. “Anthony may well thrive here after all and what a relief that would be after everything else.”
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If there was one thing Anthony Bridgerton understood, even at the tender age of five, it was duty. His family came from a long line of British aristocracy. He knew that one day, he would become the ninth Viscount and continue the tradition that the firstborn son of every previous firstborn son in the Bridgerton family line had shouldered.His acutely aware parents, Violet and Edmund, took great care to make him and all of their children feel normal and more importantly, not entitled, even ensuring that they were sent to public preschools and lived in neighborhoods where they would get to interact with children of many different backgrounds in an increasingly diverse England.It was something that, unfortunately, Edmund had not grown up with and had seen his own siblings’ and cousins’ characters shaped in ways that were not always savory. The Bridgertons knew as well as anyone that power, wealth and privilege were not ills on their own, but often meant that the company that would be kept in order to maintain all three of those elements sometimes resulted in less than stellar peer group that made questionable decisions, opening the door to maladaptive, even deficient, character development without the right nurturing and grounding.They made a decision early in their married life that they wanted to protect their future children from the type of upbringing they had, because as wonderful as all of the advantages have been and they knew that their children would still have access to most of these advantages in their adult life, they hoped for something different for their children.It was for that reason that they moved their entire growing family from England to the United States, landing in a small, unassuming college town in the middle of the country for Violet to pursue her PhD and Edmund to open up a law firm dedicated to providing justice for those whom the system had ignored or failed.They knew that back in England, even as they tried to shield their firstborn son from the sometimes unseemly influence of his older cousins and uncles, Anthony was a sensitive, gentle boy not given to the casual cruelty or entitled behavior they sometimes saw other relatives’ children engage in. He was a somewhat anxious child, whose temperament made itself known early in infancy as a baby who was colicky and never slept soundly, despite the best efforts of two loving and engaged parents who dearly desired a large brood of children upon whom to shower their love and attention.As they received increasingly concerning calls from Anthony’s British nursery school about him being bullied by other children and as they saw similar patterns being repeated at large family gatherings, Edmund and Violet wondered if it was worth it to raise their family in such a toxic environment. Anthony who was so sweet at home, even when his nerves teetered close to extremes, was becoming more withdrawn at school and acting out more.Violet remembered being called to nursery school one day after Anthony had struck another child on the playground after being teased yet again. In desperation, Violet took his face in her hands and said “This is not you, my sweet boy. You have always been such a gentleman to all” but could not bear to admonish him any further as she saw his face crumple in front of her and his body become limp as sobs racked his tiny frame. She never took Anthony back.The last straw came one day when a bitter, drunken uncle, a third son without sense of purpose, who lazily lived off the work of the family’s tenants and stock holdings pulled Anthony, then four years old, and told him that “all this” would be his one day, punctuating his rant with a poke at Anthony’s nervous tendency and introversion, loudly stating that he would never live up to his future role as Viscount.Edmund snapped, told off his cousin, gathered up his small but growing family which now included twin infants, Benedict and Colin, and bought five one way tickets to the United States.What Edmund and Violet did not realize was that young Anthony had already absorbed far too much of the societal and familial expectations they hoped to protect him from, at least at such a tender age, and had simultaneously experienced psychological trauma from relatives and playmates that would leave a lifelong scar on their sweet boy, even half a world away.
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Appa and Mary listened with ever increasing delight as Kathani regaled them with tales of her first day at kindergarten. She had already made 10 new friends, but her bestest friends were Marina, Genevieve and Tom with whom she had already shared snacks and stickers.She was about to tell them about how Gen wanted glasses just like hers, but purple, when she suddenly remembered the one unpleasant spot in an otherwise perfect day-Anthony Bridgerton.Kathani’s parents noticed the abrupt change in her facial expression and demeanor. Appa, who knew all too well how cruel little boys could sometimes be, asked Kathani if a boy had said or done something mean to her.Kathani was not sure how to answer her Appa. Anthony had said some unkind things to her, but it also seemed like he had been given some very bad information that he was just passing on. He also seemed to worry more about what other people thought of him than just worrying about himself.Kathani felt a little bit bad for him, but she didn’t understand if he was a nice boy or a mean boy yet, only that he had seemed a little nicer at the end of the day than at the beginning. It was confusing.She did her best to explain this to Mary and Appa, who gathered her in his lap as Mary stroked her hand as the whole saga came tumbling out.Appa was thoughtful. “I don’t know if he is nice or mean yet either, Kathani. Maybe even he doesn’t know. Not everyone knows themselves as well as you do. You are a good person who is good to other people. You make everyone around you smile. You are smart and kind and beautiful, inside and outside. I want you to remember that, no matter what anyone else says or does.“I am not happy that this boy called you or anyone a freak. If he says anything like that again, I want you to tell us and Ms. Trinh because nobody has the right to say that about you or anybody else. It is wrong and it is unkind. Do you understand that, beti?” he finished.“Yes, Appa,” said Kathani.She knew that Appa and Mary would only tell her the truth and she believed them. Whatever mean thing Anthony said was not true and she would not let him bother her.Mary had been silent for a bit. “Your father is right, sweetheart. But I also want you to remember that sometimes people who have been hurt by others try to hurt people, too. That does not mean that Anthony has the right to be mean to you or your classmates and it is OK for you to tell him to stop that. I just wonder if maybe he also needs a friend.“Maybe you can show him how to be a good friend, Kathani, if he lets you,” finished Mary.—-Kathani’s first week of kindergarten passed in a blur. As she continued to make friends with her classmates and set up an impressive slate of playdates, she kept May and Appa’s words close to her heart. She waited and watched to see if Anthony would be nice or mean, but in the meantime, she made sure that whenever she shared snacks or stickers with her tablemates, Anthony would also get one so he wouldn’t feel left out even though she would have rather kept the treats for herself or for her nicer friends.The first time she did this, Anthony looked shocked, but managed to mumble thanks. The next time, she saw his whole face light up in a smile just for her as he whispered “Thank you, Kathani.”Before she could do this a third time, Anthony showed up with a bright pink tulip for her and a purple petunia for Genevieve. He looked apologetically at Marina and produced a picture of a hand drawn sunflower since, as he explained, his mother’s garden didn’t have sunflowers. He offered Tom a slightly squashed green caterpillar he found in the garden that had unfortunately not survived the night zipped into his backpack pocket. Tom shrugged good-naturedly and offered thanks for the thought. Kathani saw Gen was as delighted with her flower as she was with hers and saw Marina shyly ask Anthony to write his name on the back of her picture before ever so carefully sliding it into her backpack to take home and smiled the whole rest of the day.By the time Friday afternoon rolled around, Kathani was thriving. She hugged Ms. Trinh at the end of the day, declaring kindergarten to be the very best place in the world.Kathani and Anthony always seemed to be the last two students left at end of the day pickup. She knew that Mary and Appa had busy schedules as the town’s only two family doctors, but they always made sure their schedules did not overlap so one of them could always be available for Kathani’s dropoff and pickup. On the Bridgerton end, with exactly 3.75 children, PhD coursework and a startup law practice to manage, Edmund and Violet, had a strict color-coded schedule to keep them on track that frustratingly never quite adequately accounted for contingency plans.Anthony was standing by the hamster cage as he prepared to take Leonardo, the class pet home for the weekend. Each child, starting at the beginning of the alphabet, would get this responsibility each weekend with Ms. Trinh covering the longer holidays.Kathani was miffed that “S” came so much later in the alphabet than “B” and sighed loudly as Anthony, of all her classmates, got to enjoy the chance to take Leonardo home first.He heard her sigh and sensed her annoyance, but instead of making him mad, Anthony grinned widely, exposing a missing front tooth Kathani had never noticed before, probably because she hadn’t seen him smile like this all week. “You know, Kathani, you could see Leo and help me take care of him if you come over to play at my house this weekend,” he said.Kathani’s eyes grew wide. “Really?” she whispered, almost afraid to get too excited by the offer.She had decided a few days ago that Anthony probably wasn’t a mean boy at all. Maybe Mary was right and he just needed someone to show him how to be a friend. Yesterday, after he brought flowers, a picture of a flower and a smushed dead caterpillar to his table friends, Kathani knew that he wasn’t just “not mean” but that he was actually a nice boy.Anthony shrugged “Yes, if you want to and if your parents say OK.”“I do want to. A lot!” Kathani exclaimed.Anthony looked down at his blue canvas school shoes. Kathani couldn’t see his whole face, but she could tell the ends of his mouth were turned up in a smile and that the tips of his ears were red. ‘OK, then,” he said quietly. “We’ll ask our parents to sort it out when they pick us up.”“Sort what out?” Violet’s voice floated from the doorway. “Hello, dearest, sorry I’m late. Colin bit Benedict and I had to take both of them into the doctor. We just finished.”Anthony looked mortified as he peered nervously at Kathani, afraid that she might think he and his family were a bunch of freaks.But instead, Kathani piped up, “My dad fixed me up when a kid bit me last year, right here,” she said showing off a permanent indentation on her left wrist. “I was mad and I wanted to bite her back, but my dad said she was too young to know any better and then Mary kissed it better and told me that sometimes kids who bite or hit might be sad or mad, and that even though it’s never OK to bite in the first place, I should never bite back.”Kathani paused for a moment and looked at Anthony, adding “Or maybe some kids who bite just need a friend.”Violet looked at Kathani, completely enchanted with the self-possessed five year old girl in her presence. “What a wise girl you are. What is your name, dear?”“Kathani! I am so sorry, Ms. Trinh!” Mary’s voice reached the doorway just before before she did, panting and looking slightly disheveled unlike her usually impeccably coiffed self.The two adult women suddenly noticed each other, eyes widening in somewhat horrified recognition but neither daring to speak as Anthony and Kate watched the exchange with growing curiosity.“Mrs. Bridgerton! Dr. Sharma! Nice to see you and no worries. Still plenty of time left for pickup. Kathani, Anthony and I were just getting Leonardo ready for his weekend trip to the Bridgertons” Ms. Trinh cut in, breaking the awkward silence.If the teacher’s voice broke Violet out of her initial mortified trance, she promptly reentered a confused one as it became clear she had no idea she would be playing hostess to a well-fed ginger hamster for an entire weekend, but one look at Anthony’s beaming face, the most she had seen him smile in almost a year, she melted immediately and silently vowed to Google how to keep a pet rodent alive and in its cage for a weekend, silently praying she could sneak it in without her twin toddlers finding out.Mary remained silent with her lips tightly pursed as if trying to hold in her laughter as she tried looking anywhere but toward Violet.“Mum?” broke in Anthony. “Are you OK?”And the dam burst as Violet doubled over laughing hysterically. Mary, unable to maintain her composure, joined in a beat later, leaving two bewildered children and their teacher to witness the chaos unfold.Once Violet pulled herself together, the whole group caught their breath and sat down in child-sized chairs around a similarly sized table. The story of how Violet and Edmund Bridgerton met Dr. Mary Sharma in the emergency department of the local hospital due to the aforementioned biting incident between twin brothers currently experiencing the terrible twos came pouring out of Violet as Mary relived the hectic but memorable afternoon.Violet fortuitously also learned that Dr. Sharma was accepting new patients of all ages as a family physician, including those who needed obstetric care, that the three of them all grew up in the same area of England’s countryside, that their respective eldest children had just started kindergarten and that plans had already been made for Saturday movie night at the Sharmas and Sunday dinner at the Bridgertons this weekend, with a fluffy orange hamster serving as the unexpected plus one.“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Anthony.”“And again the day after that, Kathani.”Anthony Bridgerton smiled all the way home, oblivious to the twin wailing terrors behind him, all through dinner, while brushing his teeth and when he woke up Saturday morning, he ran his hand over his lips, pleasantly surprised to find that the smile was still there.
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Kathani Sharma was so excited.She loved kindergarten and all of her classmates. She was rapidly becoming the most social of butterflies in Ms. Trinh’s K-1 class as Mary and Rakesh valiantly tried to stay on top of their daughter’s blossoming social schedule, which already involved two playdates plus two events with the Bridgertons over the next two days.Mary pulled out a dry erase board and started writing in names and times as Rakesh tried to negotiate a more moderate schedule with little Kathani, who earnestly pleaded for greater flexibility so no one’s feelings would be hurt.“But we can’t make Marina wait 2 weeks. She’s one of my best friends and her grandma is only able to bring her over when her dad doesn’t need the car for work and that’s only on Wednesday. Her mom is all the way in Haiti and she hasn’t even seen her since last year. I want her to have an extra special, extra happy time here so she won’t be so sad about her mommy. We have to get extra juice boxes for her, too. She loves grape and I want to surprise her.”“OK, beti, we’ll make it work for Marina. She’s the friend you talk about most, even more than Anthony. But from now on, please tell your friends you have to check with your parents before you make plans,” Rakesh entreated his persuasive daughter whose heart was ten times bigger than that of anyone he had known. “Oh right, Anthony! Do we have any vegetables? I want to give him some to take to Leonardo tonight.” she remembered. “Anthony was telling me all about special hamster treats he read about this week. Since we are seeing the Bridgertons twice this weekend, it’s like I’m taking care of Leonardo, too, with Anthony. He already told me Leo belongs to both of us this weekend. And he wants us to do it again when Leo comes to stay with us, which is a long, long way away.”Mary raised her eyes from the book she was reading to meet Rakesh’s in amusement as if to say “Joint custody arrangements already. Hmmm…”—-The Bridgertons arrived promptly at 5 pm, having an unusually leisurely Saturday, free of any major incidents involving their three rambunctious young boys or the soon-to-be sole daughter en route to this world. The complete lack of unexpected chaos nearly threw Violet off her game and made Edmund borderline paranoid before they both decided to just accept the welcome reprieve from the universe to enjoy a lovely evening with new friends who reminded them of the best part of home along with the promise of a new start.The first thing Kathani noticed when the Bridgertons’ van pulled up to the curb in front of their home (because she had of course been watching for them from the window for the past 20 minutes) was Anthony’s unmistakably bright smile as he leapt out first, ignoring his mother’s warning to be careful. She noticed that when he smiled a true smile, his whole face lit up and his dark eyes, usually so intense and pensive, sparkled.The second thing Kathani noticed was that he was wearing what looked like a dark blue pair of glasses. She gasped for a moment. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but hadn’t their very first conversation being him telling her that her glasses were not special and in fact, made her quite the opposite?She didn’t remember the details, but she did remember how he made her feel hurt that day. She was mad at him and thoroughly convinced he was wrong about her superpower glasses but she was also hurt she was that her brilliant new glasses that everyone loved were somehow made to feel like a bad thing, like Uncle Hemant had tried to make her feel bad. Kathani may not understand everything in the world, but she did know that if two very different people said something was bad, it might be true, even a little but, despite everything else other people said. She didn’t realize she was frowning until a knock on the door pulled her out of her reverie.“Kathani, would you like to welcome our guests?” Mary called from the family room where she and Rakesh were setting up the movie and food.Kathani remembered how excited she was about this night and any bad memories evaporated as she ran to answer the door.—-“Hi, Kathani! Thank you for inviting our family over tonight,” recited Anthony, just as he had practiced at home, wanting to be the perfect gentleman for his first visit to his new friend’s home. “This is for you and your family. We hope you enjoy it.”His perfect British etiquette did not dim his widening smile and sparkling eyes as he beamed at Kathani and offered her a wrapped box.“Thank you!” she cried.“Come on in, everyone!” called Mary, coming over to hug Violet as introductions were made all around, excepting the twins aka “the hellions we love so dearly but thought better of subjecting them to new friends two nights in a row” who were happily in the care of experienced, energetic babysitters for the night.Anthony followed Kathani to the family room and sat down next to her on the side sofa, away from where the adults were gathering, already engaged in a lively four way conversation, nervously playing with the sleeves of his dark blue windbreaker.“I like your glasses, Anthony. Is blue your favorite color?” Kathani asked, looking at his windbreaker and thinking of the blue shoes he and his parents had shucked off at the door out of respect for Sharma house rules.“I like blue, I guess,” he replied. “We call it Bridgerton Blue back home, but I don’t know if it’s really my favorite. I just wear it a lot, I guess.”“How come you didn’t tell me you wore glasses?” Kathani asked. “I thought you didn’t like them and you haven’t worn them at all in school this week.”Anthony looked embarrassed.“I’m sorry about that, Kathani,” Anthony started, looking down at his hands. “I know I wasn’t very nice. I didn’t think you would ever talk to me after I was that mean. I just didn’t want you to be mean to me first, so I was mean to you first. And I’m sorry. I will never be mean to you again. Because you are nice to everyone, even if they aren’t nice to you first. And also because…”Anthony paused and looked up at her. He seemed to be struggling to say what he wanted to, but he closed his eyes and took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. Kathani remained silent, watching him. After a few moments, Anthony opened his eyes, now looking directly into hers with a determined, confident look.“And because you’re my friend,” he said. “I hope…I am your friend, too.”“Of course we’re friends, Anthony,” Kathani responded immediately, seeing Anthony’s shoulders relax and that patented smile overtake his entire face again.“Thanks, Kathani,” he said quietly. “I think I would like you to be my best friend. Do…do you already have a best friend?”Kathani paused. “I think you are my best boy friend and Marina is my best girl friend. It’s OK to have more than one best friend. Tom and Gen might also be my best friends, but I haven’t asked any of them yet.”Anthony seemed satisfied with her answer. “But I asked you first, right? So I can be your first best friend even if they are your best friends, too?”“Yes, you are my first best friend, Anthony”As Rakesh started the movie, Anthony moved his hand over to hold Kathani’s and she let him, because it made her happy that they were each other’s first best friends. The box of chocolates the Bridgertons brought over as a gift sat between them as they shared a smile and prepared to dig in.—-Anthony and Kathani awoke to four parents leaning over them, Violet and Mary cooing quietly with both of their iphones held suspiciously pointing toward the children and looking at them the way Anthony saw his parents look at his baby brothers when they were asleep and their waking misdeeds were utterly erased from their minds. Rakesh was eyeing Anthony a bit more sternly than he was comfortable with, while Edmund had more of a wistful look. Anthony quickly jerked his hand away from Kathani’s and adjusted his glasses which has become askew at some point when his head and Kathani’s ended up together.Kathani was slower to wake, rubbing her eyes under her glasses, Mary explaining that the little girl had barely slept last night in her excitement about today and more specifically tonight’s festivities.Anthony still only partially aware of the situation instinctively reached over to adjust his friend’s glasses seeing that her eyes were half closing again and she was lilting to the side, toward him. Violet couldn’t help the small peep that escaped her as Rakesh cleared his throat and gathered up Kathani to put her to bed.The night was still young and the parents were still enjoying the last days of long summer weekend nights and the babysitters were paid for another few hours.Mary made up a makeshift bed for Anthony on the living room couch and set up a video so he could choose to nap or watch another movie. She showed him where he could put his glasses on the table behind him if he decided to close his eyes.Instead of just leaving him to rejoin the other adults, she stayed with him for a bit and Anthony found her presence warm and comforting, much like his own mother’s, but quieter without having to split her attention between three boys.“I’m so happy you and Kathani are in the same class, Anthony,” she said. “She talks about you a lot. I am glad you two are friends.”“We are first best friends,” Anthony confided. “We decided tonight. I am also Kathani’s best boy friend. That means I will never be mean to her and I won’t let anyone else be mean to her either, because that’s what best friends do for each other.”“I think it is a very good thing for friends to be kind and take care of each other,” Mary replied. “I am glad you two worked that out so early in your friendship. You are lucky to have each other.”“Do you have a best friend, Dr. Mary?” asked Anthony.“I do, Anthony. My best friend is Kathani’s dad. He was not my first friend, but he is my best friend and my best boy friend,” she clarified.“But if he isn’t your first best friend, does that mean he isn’t as special as your first best friend?” Anthony sat up to look directly at Mary and suddenly she saw the all too familiar fragility of a sweet young boy who had been traumatized and who desperately needed a friend with a big heart.Mary thought of how just two short years ago, she had seen the same look in the eyes of a little girl with terrible night terrors who had just lost her mother in a rickshaw accident during a monsoon. Kathani had been brought into the clinic by her grandmother in India where Mary was doing an international health rotation. It was a needed respite at the tail end of the long years of training in England and the US to ensure she was doubly qualified to practice in both countries even though her heart told her she needed to leave England and her family’s stifling expectations far behind.After breaking an engagement to the son of an old family friend in their small, tight knit British-Indian community in the countryside, Mary’s parents blamed her for bringing shame upon their family. They did not listen to Mary’s concerns or the evidence she presented that Varun Patel had been deliberately and repeatedly dishonest during their courtship, a red flag that she could not overlook. But the detail she kept to herself was that she gathered that Varun was not a kind man and had only one reason for agreeing to consider marriage-familial pressure to have a child, preferably a son.Mary had recently been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which helped explain some of the difficulties she had with menstrual periods and other issues since her teen years. Even though her gynecologist had assured her that many women with PCOS had healthy babies, she knew that infertility was a possibility for her and that if Varun was looking for a wife primarily to bear his children, she might find herself in a difficult position with his and his family‘s expectations, not to mention community pressure.Mary had written Varun a letter explaining her diagnosis and asking if this was something he would be willing to live with if they could not have children of their own together or if he would be open to the idea of fostering or adopting children in the future if they could not have their own. Before she ever had a chance to send it, she happened to see him tearing out of a local coffee shop one morning, loudly cursing the worker who had accidentally made a mistake with his order. It was the first time she had ever seen him lose control like that, because in front of her parents, he had always been the perfect model of the dutiful Indian son with a combination of manners that suited both his heritage and his British upbringing.Mary knew that she couldn’t judge him on one outburst alone, but ever since their first meeting, she had a feeling that something was not right with his picture perfect manners and dead eyes. When she later found out he had been dishonest in what he had told her parents about himself, she was worried, but thought she owed it to him to discuss it and let him explain.But that discussion never happened, because in the moment she saw him behaving like that, every cautious feeling she ever had about him came screaming to the surface. She took it as a much needed sign. Before he could see her, Mary turned on her heel, ripped up the letter she was going to send him and threw it away. That night, she told Varun and her parents that she was calling off the engagement.For weeks, Mary felt the gossip and judgment of their community harshly and after her parents’ unsupportive reaction that placed more importance on their ruined standing in the community than Mary’s wellbeing, she could only think of fleeing to a place where she would be allowed some respite, a chance to clear her head and focus on what it is she really wanted and what was best for her soul. When a kind global medicine professor mentioned to her that a spot had opened up unexpectedly at a clinic in India, Mary agreed to go immediately.Mary had not known it was Dr. Rakesh Sharma’s daughter she was seeing until he burst into the room 20 minutes later after Mary had helped calm the little girl down. Most children did not remember night terrors, but Kathani was still shaking and crying after waking that night, scaring her grandmother enough to bring her in, just as her father was delivering a baby in another room.Mary loved children and had recently begun to wonder if she would ever have any of her own, given the PCOS diagnosis, and had seriously considered adopting once her life became less hectic amd she settled into practice as a Consultant Physician, even if it meant being a single mother.Mary believed in embracing every child she saw in clinic as her own in an act of universal motherhood that somehow, at least for the moment, helped her fill that nagging void to create a loving family of her own, far from the family back in England that prized appearances over substance, perfection over humanity and easily hidden secrets over honesty.It happened quickly and unexpectedly, but seeing Rakesh’s tenderness towards his tiny, frightened daughter lit something in Mary that she could not quite ignore. And just 6 weeks later, with the blessing of Rakesh’s extended family and the embrace of 3 year old Kathani, Dr. Mary Sheffield became Dr. Mrs. Mary Sharma as she and Rakesh made plans to start anew in the United States, an opportunity to forge their own dream family in a place not so haunted by sad memories that still traumatized a little girl who had so much love and light to give the world.—-Mary looked back at Anthony and embraced him spontaneously. Anthony didn’t resist. He let Mary hug him and tell him in her kind way: “Your first best friend is someone who you will always know the longest. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are the best or most important, but they will always be your first. That is special in and of itself. You will have many friends in your lifetime, Anthony. Some might not be friends forever and that is OK. People will move in and out of your life at different times and for different reasons. Letting go will also become important at times. They will all be special and important in their own way. If you are very lucky, you might have friends who will last your whole life, but it is OK if you do not. I don’t have any friends I have known for my whole life, but the friends I do have are good friends who I care for and who make me happy. I always want to make sure I have room for new friends, just like you and your parents, who I didn’t meet until yesterday, but I already know we are all going to be some of the best friends possible for as long as we are able.”Anthony listened carefully to Mary, taking in her words with the seriousness of a man 10 times his age. Then he laid his head back down on the sofa, both of them knowing that he would lose his battle against sleep in the next few minutes. He let Mary slip his glasses off and place them safely on the adjacent table.“Dr. Mary,” Anthony yawned. “I’m glad you’re my second best friend.”Mary smiled as she felt tears well up and gave the precocious boy, already lost to the conscious world, a soft kiss on the top of his head.
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Violet moved over to the family room sofa where the children had fallen asleep during the lavish and very long classic Bollywood film all four adults had discovered they loved, having all first seen it years ago despite being spread across two continents-Mary as part of her family’s minimal effort to maintain a connection to an ancestral homeland none of the recent generations had ever set foot in, Violet and Edmund during a night out in London with college friends and Rakesh in a grand theater in Mumbai after a long week of hospital service.She wanted to stay within earshot and sightline of Anthony, now peacefully slumbering away in the next room. Even though she knew Anthony would be fine, Violet had a sixth sense when it came to Anthony who seemed to need more TLC (tender loving care) than the average child, even as a baby, but rarely allowed himself to be comforted or helped by others. There was a point at which Violet and Edmund wondered if Anthony was autistic but later learned that when left in the care of relatives, he was offered little more than custodial care rather than the loving engagement they had anticipated when reluctantly acquiescing to “the family’s” wishes to let the family’s longtime governesses provide daytime childcare for him as generations of Bridgertons had been raised, not knowing that harsh discipline and unyielding standards from the Regency era that were certainly not created with children in mind were still employed by the cadre of Bridgerton “professional nannies.”Despite Edmund and Violet loving, playing and cuddling with the tiny boy when they were not in class completing their respective law and masters graduate studies, he did not thrive emotionally or cognitively when he was away from his parents. He just fussed, not having the words to communicate his discontent or what was happening behind closed doors.It was only after Anthony’s first birthday trip to the pediatrician did his parents learn that his speech development was delayed and that he needed speech therapy, much to the embarrassment of certain relations. But Edmund put his foot down and confronted his family, pulling Anthony away from the family’s childcare staff and putting Anthony into a special developmental preschool with intensive therapy, a place where Anthony thrived until graduation came and he was placed in a different mainstream preschool where his slight speech delay, despite continuing to improve, and his new glasses which an early vision screening showed he needed, made him a target for the other children, including his own Bridgerton cousins.After Violet and Edmund became heartsick at the thought of their sweet, first baby enduring anymore hardship at the hands of an already tiny, insular social and family circle, especially after making such progress with speech development and seeing Anthony make progress in emotional development and connection with his parents and the unfettered love, care and protective instincts he showed his new baby brothers, they knew they needed a fresh start in a new place for their son’s and their whole family’s wellbeing.So America, it was.They knew that as well-heeled, well-educated white British immigrants, they had a level of wealth and privilege afforded them that was not so easily granted to the many other immigrants who arrived in the US. Even as they got to know the Sharmas, who as British and Indian physicians, came with a significant headstart over most immigrants who literally had to start from scratch with 2 suitcases and $7 per person (if that) by rule of the Indian government, the Bridgertons knew they lived a charmed life, which didn’t mean Anthony’s trauma was any less real or serious, but they knew that no matter what, they would be able to secure for him the support he needed and so would they and any other children they might have.Their privilege did not make them immune to trauma, tragedy or difficulty, but it meant they would never have to worry about choosing home over food, work over education, clothing over medicine. Violet tried to remind herself of this each time she struggled with wrangling her boys, missing Edmund because he was overtaxed trying to set up his law firm or trying to manage coursework while completing research for her dissertation. She was lucky, blessed and grateful, but she was also sometimes lonely and exhausted even as she knew that each day here was better and healthier for herself and every member of her family.Violet knew with her whole heart and mind this was the right choice, the ONLY choice, for them, most especially on the otherwise horrible day she met an angel on earth in the form of Dr. Mary Sharma.—-Even as Violet watched Mary settle Anthony in the living room, she couldn’t help but be struck by how effortlessly Mary communicated with Anthony who responded in kind to her, so naturally. Anthony, who had once been horrifically and incorrectly labeled developmentally and emotionally beyond repair, most hurtfully by some family members and so-called child-rearing professionals, had thrived when he was with his parents and when he was given the appropriate nurturing and developmental support that he needed. Violet knew that his God-given temperament made him more challenging and needy than most young children she knew, but she also knew from her mother’s instinct that her dear boy had been neglected, written off and emotionally stunted by those who tried to fit him into a rigid mold from 200 years ago, as a baby and toddler, an utterly ridiculous proposition to anyone with half a brain, Violet thought angrily.As much as Violet tried to uphold the frustratingly archaic expectations set for her as Viscountess Bridgerton meaning knowing when to hold her tongue (always), choose her battles carefully and make peace with her powerful in laws, she reached her limit when similar expectations were foisted upon her baby boy. Fortunately, she and Edmund were on the same page in this regard, with Edmund wanting for his children a life completely different from what he experienced growing up. It was no mystery why he rebelled and married early to set a new standard for the future family he wished to fight for, not the family he had. Although Edmund maintained his duties effectively as Viscount and kept cordial relations with family members and staff, he knew the moment he looked in Violet’s eyes as she cradled a sobbing 4 year old Anthony that the culmination of all their discussions and tentative plans had finally come to the point of action.In a matter of weeks, it was done and the Bridgertons of Kent became the new family in town, right in the middle of the American Midwest, real life pioneers, escaping the British, Violet thought with an ironic laugh, but with posh British accents and three little boys in tow. She could tell that the move was still disorienting for Anthony who seemed to turn inward even more in a new place where people spoke with accents he was not used to and could not always easily understand or be understood.Violet and Edmond tried to take him on errands around town as they settled in just so Anthony would get out a little. They made a point of introducing him to each new person they met, at the grocery store, at the petrol station (it was called gas in the US), at the kindergarten screening with hundreds of other children in a gymnasium. They didn’t force it. They held his hand, gently nudged, but let him bury his face into Violet’s skirt when he didn’t feel like talking. People around them seemed to accept that he was a shy boy and offered him an encouraging smile or a few words like “We look forward to seeing you soon, Anthony“One thing the Bridgertons learned at the screening is that in spite of the developmental speech delay Anthony struggled with in England, the pre-K testing in America showed that he was highly gifted and qualified for the school district’s gifted program. He had already been learning to read in his developmental preschool back in England. The psychologist explained to the Bridgertons that they would start creating an individualized education plan for Anthony right now, so that when kindergarten started in a few months, he would be all set to get the speech and behavioral therapy he still needed at school while also getting additional reading enrichment with a couple of his classmates who were also entering kindergarten having mastered some basic reading skills.Violet nearly broke down on the spot with tears of joy. It seemed that finally others saw her beautiful, intelligent, perceptive boy the same way she and Edmond saw him. They had some struggles but they knew that he could thrive in the right environment.The plant was not the problem, the garden was. It was the environment that needed change to allow the plant to thrive.Violet, who was an avid gardener and dearly missed the rose garden she left behind at Aubrey Hall, prepared to create fertile ground for her family to thrive in America and once again silently thanked God for taking them away from a place that had almost broken her son’s spirit and hers along with it.—-As the Bridgertons left the Sharmas Saturday evening, Edmund tenderly lifted a near comatose Anthony from the living room sofa onto his shoulder without waking the boy.Violet watched the scene, grateful for the kind, courageous man she married who wanted only the best for his family and a love they could all share, nurture and thrive under, even if it meant abandoning the only way of life they had known for generations.Mary and Violet embraced for a long time, both realizing that they had formed an instant new family with each other. “I cannot thank you enough for everything, Mary, Rakesh,” said Violet, once again finding herself on the verge of tears. “We are so grateful that Kathani met Anthony at school. You have already been so kind to our family and made us feel more at home than we did in our actual home. You helped me through a crazy day. I know there will be many more to come, especially after Baby D makes her appearance, but we want you to know that we are here for you too. Our home is your home. We don’t stand on formality and look forward to seeing our children grow up together.”The tears in Mary’s eyes mirrored Violet’s. “Of course, Violet. The feeling is mutual. We were once the new kids on the block and it wasn’t always friendly or comfortable, but we learned to find good people here and we created a home and a family away from home, just as you are doing.”Rakesh and Edmund watched their wives bond, shook hands and patted each other heartily on the shoulder.“Before this turns into the neverending Midwestern goodbye,” said Rakesh. “Let us end with the immortal words of Lin-Manuel Miranda: ‘Immigrants, we get the job done!’”The parents laughed, Mary and Violet wiping away their happy tears, as Anthony briefly stirred in his father’s arms and the Bridgertons loaded themselves up in their van just as twilight fell.“See you tomorrow,” called Edmund from the van, waving to Mary and Rakesh as he pulled away from the curb.It was only after Mary and Rakesh reentered their home, arms slung around each other’s waists, already reliving the highlights of the visit that Mary saw a tiny pair of blue glasses on the endtable that belonged to Anthony.She slipped them into her sunglasses case and into her bag. Good thing we’re seeing them again for dinner tomorrow night, she thought with a smile as she and Rakesh headed upstairs to find Kathani lost in dreamland, hugging her stuffed corgi plush toy with a smile on her face.
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Sunday Dinner at the Bridgertons was a wild and wonderful affair with four children running around the house and making up games for a furry weekend guest named Leonardo who intently watched the unfolding chaos from the safety of his glass cage, munching on the stash of mini carrots that Kathani had brought over.Formal dining had been abandoned in favor of practicality and circumstance as Violet and Edmund tag teamed to feed the twins for the brief time they were loudly and unhappily confined to their highchairs as Anthony and Kathani weaved around them with water squirt guns.“Put your glasses on, Anthony!” shouted Kathani. “You can’t shoot if you can’t see. Your glasses have superpowers just like mine.”Anthony grinned and grabbed his glasses from the box on the table Mary brought. Violet had tutted that this was the sixth time this week Anthony had forgotten or misplaced his glasses and had still managed to survive the first week of kindergarten practically blind.“Well, you can hardly blame him for this one, Violet,“ said Mary. “He was asleep and every last one of the four very conscious adults forgot.”Mary turned to Anthony to give him a gift. It was a hardcase for his glasses covered with blue canvas and bright yellow stars on it. She told him that Kathani had a similar one with a lightning bolt on it for her favorite superhero, Ms. Marvel. It helped her keep her glasses safe when she wasn’t wearing them and it made it easier to find them in the morning when she woke up.“Now we match, Anthony!” Kathani smiled. “But yesterday, you never told me why you didn’t tell me about your glasses. We are the only two kids in our class who get to wear them. I thought it was cool when I was the only one, but I guess it’s fun to have a friend to wear them with.”Anthony was quiet for a moment. He had apologized for his mean behavior to Kathani at the Sharma’s movie night yesterday, but today, he sat down with her to tell her the bigger story.Back in England, his cousins and other kids picked on him relentlessly. They teased him about how small he was compared to other boys his age, how his ears stuck out and how he couldn’t pronounce words correctly or speak as fast as they did. They made fun of him for not being as good at sporting games and always missing the goal because he couldn’t see as well from far away. When he did finally get glasses and could see well enough to get better at learning in preschool and playing games, they called him mean names and told him he had four eyes. Anthony had ripped off his glasses and thrown them away before coming home.After Edmund noticed a suspicious pattern of missing or destroyed glasses, he sat Anthony down for a talk. He explained that he was disappointed that Anthony lied to him and his mother, because that’s not what gentleman do, but he hugged Anthony and told him that he was sorry that other kids, including his own relatives, were being so cruel to him. It was hard to tell a four year old boy to keep his head up and not worry about what other people said or did, but Edmund asked Anthony if he had to choose between avoiding something because of mean kids or being able to see the world clearly and do all the things he really wanted to do, which would he choose.Later that evening, Anthony heard Edmund’s raised voice on the phone in his study. He couldn’t make out the words, but he knew enough to know that his father almost never got so mad. Anthony wouldn’t want to be on the other end of that phone call. Violet was sitting next to Anthony in their drawing room as they read a book together. She was so happy to see that Anthony took to reading as if he was born to it once he was able to clearly see words on a page and on boards throughout his preschool. She could overhear Edmund loudly, but deservedly, in her opinion, telling off his family for letting their spoiled, bratty children get away with tormenting Anthony and demanding that they forever ban some staff from ever working near children again for their emotional cruelty and neglect. Edmund ended the conversation with hot tears in his eyes, informing his family in no uncertain terms that while he would retain the title of Viscount, he, Violet and the boys would be leaving England for good at the end of the following month.Anthony explained that he had taken his father‘s words to heart and continued to wear his glasses while they were in England, trying not to care so much what anyone said, but it was still hard. Somehow, his resolve had faltered on the first day of kindergarten and he found a place to hide his glasses that he didn’t think even his mother would be able to discover. Then he met Kathani and saw how happy she was and how cool and smart she felt wearing her “superpower glasses.“It made him a little bit jealous that this girl was as brave as his father wanted him to be. He wanted to be brave, just like his dad and just like Kathani, but he knew that even if kids didn’t tease him for his glasses, they would find some other reason to be mean to him like they always did back in England.Before kindergarten, Anthony didn’t know many kids who were nice. Most of the grown-ups he knew were OK, but some of them could be mean too, like his Uncle Rupert who told him he would never be a good Viscount because he was such a weak, nervous boy. It had taken a lot of talking with Violet and Edmund in the days before kindergarten started before he even felt comfortable being left outside his parents’ care again. He had bad memories of the Bridgerton family nannies in England pinching his ears and telling him that he was a stupid boy for not speaking or learning as fast as his cousins, even though he couldn’t even see what they were trying to get him to see until he got his glasses, which felt like magic.It was a cruel irony for him that on the day he finally saw clearly and his world opened up, his cousins wasted no time trying to pull him back down and making him feel small and “freakish” again. That word, freak, which he first heard from his cousin Frederick Fife bothered him no matter how much he tried to shake it off. “Only freaks cry like you do! Only freaks can read before they go to school. You’re going to be Viscount Freak-erton!” Fife would taunt him, and now he was “Four eyed Freakerton”He knew that they were in a new country now, but deep down, he knew that leaving England didn’t mean escaping mean kids and he wasn’t ready to believe that a new school and new country could be any better than what he experienced back home.Until he met Kathani, that is. She came into his world in the same way that the Incredible Hulk, Anthony’s favorite superhero, smashed into buildings. She seemed kind of loud and in his face, but the more he watched her, he realized that she was never mean. He watched as she made friends with everyone at their table, even quiet Marina who didn’t say much to anybody but watched everything quietly and sometimes smiled.Kathani listened as Anthony told her the whole story. She had so many questions, but Rakesh had told her that sometimes it was more important to listen than to talk. “Remember,” he told her. “We have two ears and only one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we speak.”“But I only have one nose,” Kathani said. “Does that mean I should talk as much as I sniff things but only sniff things half as much as I listen?”Rakesh’s laughter had enveloped the room as he scooped Kathani up to tickle her. Two arms for tickling after all, as Kathani dissolved into laughter.But as she listened to Anthony, as her father taught her, Kathani also remembered Mary’s wisdom about how hurt kids sometimes hurt others. Anthony told her yesterday that he didn’t want her to be mean to him first, so he was mean to her and he teased her about something that others teased him about. She also remembered that Mary told her that this boy who had not been very nice to her that first day might have needed a friend. She thought about how last night, Anthony told her that they were first best friends, which meant he had never known what it was like to have a friend before her.Anthony’s shoulders sagged and he sighed as he ended his story. Kathani did the only thing she could think of to comfort her friend. She leaned over and hugged him with both arms. She felt him tense for a moment, then relax as he took a deep breath and tentatively moved his arms to hug her back.It was at that moment that Anthony realized that even though his parents hugged him often and occasionally other adults did as well, his first hug from another child, his very first hug from a friend, was from Kathani Sharma in that very moment.Neither Anthony nor Kathani noticed the surreptitious click of an electronic camera shutter from down the hall as Mary and Violet tried not to disturb the moment.—-On Monday morning, when Violet went to wake Anthony for school as Edmund prepared breakfast, she was surprised to see her little boy had already brushed his teeth and was combing his hair neatly, glasses on and ready to meet the new day with a huge smile.Anthony rushed into Ms. Trinh’s classroom ahead of his mother who was struggling with balancing Leonardo’s cage and his various accoutrements from the weekend spent at the Bridgertons.Gen was already at the table, organizing her crayons, while Tom wheeled over from the coat rack right behind Anthony. “Cool glasses, Anthony,” said Gen. “Blue looks good on you.”Anthony smiled and blushed a bit. This was a new experience. “Thanks, Gen,” he said, remembering his manners.“Wait,” said Tom. “Have you always had glasses?”“I got them last year,” explained Anthony, taking a deep breath just like his old therapy teacher taught him when he was nervous. “But I didn’t always like wearing them because kids were mean to me about them sometimes.”Tom nodded in understanding and Gen sent Anthony a sympathetic look. “Some people…” she muttered as she shook her head in disgust.“Sometimes people are weird about my wheelchair,” Tom said. “My rehab therapist told me that if anyone says anything, I should just say ‘Bet you can’t pop a wheelie like me!’ and then just roll away.”The kids laughed. Marina had quietly joined the group. “I just wish nobody was mean so we wouldn’t have to keep finding ways to make it hurt less,” she whispered.A hush fell over the group as they nodded silently and went back to their tasks. Anthony looked especially pained as Marina continued to keep her eyes down. He reached over to hold her hand, remembering how Marina had done the same for him on their first day and told him he didn’t have to talk if he didn’t want to. He remembered how nice it had felt to hold Kathani’s hand on Saturday, to know that a friend was nearby and how it made him feel happy. Marina looked at Anthony and smiled. He smiled back. This is what it felt like to be friends who cared about kindness.
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Autumn rolled on as the kindergarteners in Ms. Trinh’s class continued to learn lessons that were both part of the official syllabus and those that were life lessons that might not have been planned.During the second week, Ms. Trinh explained that some students would leave her class for part of the day on some days to learn special skills. Some kids might need extra help learning English as their second language or they might need special therapy to help them speak or move their muscles. Some kids might need to learn special calming skills or they might get extra time to work on reading or math skills.Everyone is unique, Ms. Trinh explained, which means special and different. Part of being together in one class is to learn how to help and get along with each other, just like in the world. but in order to make sure that everyone can learn the same skills to be ready for first grade, special teachers and therapists will come by to give students extra help or enrichment.She introduced the special teachers to the class: Mr. Gonzalez, the physical therapist; Mr. Jackson, the speech therapist; Ms. Andreesen, from behavioral therapy; and Mrs. Mohammad-Mondrich for advanced reading.Mr. Gonzalez came over to take Tom to the therapy room and high fived him. “How’s it going, Tom? Ready to get loose and build some more muscles today?”The tablemates giggled as Mr. Gonzalez joked that when his students did a very good job, they got to rub his shiny bald head for good luck. Tom waved to his friends as he wheeled away.Ms. Trinh explained that the other teachers would return later in the week to work with other students on special skills, but right now, she I was going to start a project that every single student would get to participate in called “Who Am I?’As part of this project, each student would get personally interviewed by Ms. Trinh who would ask them questions about what made them who they were, what they liked, where they were from, what they wished for. each week, one student would be featured and they would get a chance to stand up in front of the class to tell them about themselves. Ms. Trinh would put their interview answers up on the bulletin board and by the end of the year, all of the students would have their own special spot on the bulletin board and the chance to be spotlighted so that other students could get to know them better. Ms Trinh would pull out one name from a bowl to choose the week’s student.The first name she pulled from the bowl was Marina Thompson. The tablemates cheered and Marina smiled shyly as she went over to be interviewed by Ms. Trinh.by the time the interview was over, it was time for recess and the kids went outside. One of Kathani’s favorite parts of kindergarten was recess, because she and her friends got to play with the kids from the other kindergarten class, which meant even more fun, most of the time.Today, a girl named Cressida Cowper from the other kindergarten class decided that they should all play princess and the dragons where everyone had to be either a dragon trying to kidnap the beautiful princess from her tower or a knight trying to protect the princess.“Who gets to be the princess?” asked Kathani, noting that Cressida had forgotten to mention that part.“I do,” said Cressida. “Because I have look the most like a beautiful princess.”“Says who” asked Genevieve. “You don’t look anything like Meghan Markle.”“Yeah,” said Aisha, who was in Cressida’s class and had enough of her mean classmate bossing everyone around.Cressida huffed. “Haven’t you ever seen the movie Cinderella? She has blonde hair and blue eyes just like me and she is the best princess. I had the idea for this game and I look like the best princess, so I get to be the princess and the rest of you can save me from the dragons.”“I prefer Princess Tiana,” said Marina.“Why can’t the rest of us pick the princess?” piped up Anthony. “We should pick the nicest and prettiest person to be princess so we all want to save her from the dragons.”“That’s not how it works for real princesses,” countered Cressida.“I’m from England where we have real princesses and your way isn’t how it works either,” said Anthony. “And my dad has met the King and Queen of England and lots of the princesses. None of them look like you.”“If you’re so smart, who does look like a princess then?” asked Cressida.“I think Kathani should be the princess,” said Anthony.“Princess Kathani!” seconded Tom.“Kathani doesn’t look like ANY princess I’ve seen,” sulked Cressida.“Too bad,” said Tom. “We already voted for her. C’mon, Kathani!”The other kids cheered as they decided amongst themselves who would be knights and dragons. Anthony and Tom quickly called knights. Tom even did a quick wheels up to show her what a good knight he would be. Kathani clapped and cheered, much to Anthony’s consternation. She noticed Anthony was just a bit more aggressive in fighting off the dragons when Tom was nearby.Kathani had fun watching all the action, but soon realized that it was kind if boring being stuck behind everyone with nothing to do while they all got to run around screaming happily and play fighting each other.When recess ended, Anthony caught up with her, out of breath from all of his heroics as a knight. “Did you see me protecting you, Kathani?” he asked. “I made sure none of the dragons got too close because best friends protect each other just like knights and princesses.”“Thanks, Anthony,” said Kathani, “But next time, I don’t want to be a princess unless I can do something, like Sultana Razia, an Indian princess. She got to ride horses and do all kinds of fun things. My Appa told me all about her. I thought princesses got to have more fun.”“She sounds cool!” said Anthony. “Maybe you should dress up as her for Halloween. That would show Cressida that you can be an even better princess.”Kathani reached over and hugged Anthony. He smiled.That Halloween, Kathani dressed as her favorite woman warrior, Sultana Razia, the very first woman ruler in India who was from Delhi and even though she had once been enslaved, she became the most powerful woman in the country from 1236-1240. Appa and Mary made sure that the outfit Nani sent from India was just right for Kathani, who proudly got to show her classmates her heritage and share an important lesson about women and princesses doing a lot more than just being saved by knights.
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The Sharmas and Bridgertons thoroughly enjoyed their first fall as family friends, having been able to celebrate Diwali with the local Indian community, largely led by the Indian students group at the college followed by Halloween, which gave Kathani the opportunity to shine as a real life historical figure, the Indian princess Sultana Razia.Anthony was absolutely enamored with Razia’s story, so much so that Mary asked Nani if she could find an English book on her back in India. Nani sent over a comic book for Anthony along with a few others about famous Indian figures for Kathani and Anthony to enjoy together. Even back in India, the pair of best friends was getting to be quite well known among the extended family.Kathani also got to do a special dance for the Diwali celebration along with other girls. She wore a peacock blue silk lehenga with silver embroidery and special silver anklets that jingled when she walked and danced. Anthony watched her entranced. Rakesh turned to Mary and whispered, “We should just start saving for their wedding right now.”“That was a beautiful dance, Kathani” Anthony said through a mouthful of gulab jamuns once Kathani rejoined them at the table.She was still flushed with excitement and exertion from the dance that she had worked so hard to learn. “I made a few mistakes,” she admitted. “Even though I tried really hard not to.”“I didn’t see any mistakes,” added Anthony helpfully. “You looked perfect to me.”“Baap-re, this beta!” muttered Rakesh fondly to Mary who had to stifle a giggle.—Anthony decided that he liked kindergarten. It was his favorite place to be besides home. He got to get even better at reading, thanks to his reading enrichment teacher, Mrs. Mohammad-Mondrich, with whom he, Kathani and Will Mondrich from the other kindergarten class met every Friday afternoon. For Anthony, it was the best way to end each week of school, reading a new book with two very good friends and a teacher who had a knack for choosing the best books.The thing Anthony liked most about Mrs. Mohammad-Mondrich was that she made everyone feel welcome with her big smile and warm, booming voice that enveloped the children each time she arrived in class with the question “Who is ready to read today?”She always dressed in bright colors and prints, with a bright scarf wrapped around her head. When Kathani looked admiringly at her outfits, Mrs. Mohammad-Mondrich explained that they were from her homeland of Sudan. “They are so beautiful. My nani sends me clothes from India, too,” Kathani said.“And you must wear them proudly, my girl,” said Mrs. Mohammad, who allowed the children to shorten her name slightly but took the time to teach them how to pronounce it correctly. “Your clothes and your name are part of what tell your own story to the world. You can change clothes, of course, but even that reveals part of who you are. But it is important that you do not let your outside dictate who you are inside. Let your true self shine through.”Anthony also liked the fact that Mrs. Mohammad had an accent like he did. She had told the group once that most people who speak English with an accent had learned another language first, so English was probably something they learned when they were older, when it was harder to learn how to communicate in a way one was not born into. In Anthony’s case, it meant that even if he spoke the same language, he had made a big journey to a new place which was a brave thing to do.She explained to Anthony that sometimes even in the same language, there could be differences like the British spelling of “colour” vs the American spelling of “color.” She also knew that many older languages contributed to creating newer languages, which fascinated Anthony. Will, her youngest son, and their reading partner and friend, was also learning to read Arabic. “Did you know that the English words candy and coffee both come from Arabic words?” Mrs. Mohammad asked. “That is why I love words and reading. Once you learn, the whole world opens up for you and there is nothing you cannot do.”Anthony thought about how he had read up on what to feed Leonardo the weekend he stayed with the Bridgertons and the comic books from India that told grand stories of warriors, inventors, maharajas and more. He thought about what he liked and what made him who he was.Later that day, Ms. Trinh interviewed him for spotlight student next week. At the end of the interview, she created a bulletin board square just for Anthony.- My name is Anthony Bridgerton- I am 5- I am from England- I love my mom and dad, my brothers, my friends and gulab jamuns- My favorite color used to be blue but now I like pink because whenever I see pink, I think of my best friend who wears a lot of pink and it makes me happy- I enjoy swimming and reading- My favorite place to visit is kindergarten - I wish I had 4 pet cats and that my brothers weren’t so loud
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As autumn turned to winter, the kindergartners prepared for even more celebrations.Ms. Trinh and the other teachers in the school began decorating the gymnasium for International Day, putting up flags from many different countries that represented where all the students were from. It was a point of pride at the school that their surrounding community and the university attracted people from all over the world, some who would stay for awhile before returning to their home countries and others who would make this place their new home.With Christmas holidays coming up, Ms. Trinh knew it was a special time for many of her students and wanted to make sure that even students who did not celebrate could have something special to look forward to so they did not feel left out. When Tom was spotlight student, he told the class about the meaning of Hanukkah, which was coming up, but pointed out that the most important Jewish holidays came in the fall and were a time to both celebrate the Jewish New Year of Rosh Hashanah and spend time reflecting and fasting on Yom Kippur. He explained that he was still too young to fast, but he looked forward to doing it with his family when he was older.Mustafa, one of the students who had been learning English, piped up and said that his family fasted too for Ramadan. It was for a whole month and this year, he planned to fast from breakfast to lunch! “I want to try that, too!” volunteered Gen. “Maybe no snacks just for one day until lunch.”Mustafa smiled. It had been hard at first being in school not knowing how to talk to the other kids, but he was learning so much so fast. There were lots of games he could play at recess that didn’t involve much talking, just communicating in other ways, but school was a lot more fun when they could understand each other.Anthony got to tell the class about how in England, every school would have a nativity play to commemorate Christmas, even the public schools. I remember going to his older cousins place where they got to dress up as sheep and other important characters to tell the Christmas story.Kathani told the class about celebrating Diwali earlier in the year. Anthony added that Kathani wore a beautiful dress for her special dance and that he got to eat gulab jamuns, which were even better than chocolate bars. He wondered if he would have to wait a whole year to eat them again at Diwali, but Kathani assured him you could eat them anytime, which made Anthony very happy.—One day, a new student entered the classroom. He was a young Black boy who stared at the floor. He was accompanied by a formidable older woman who firmly but gently took his shoulders and guided him toward Ms. Trinh’s class.Anthony thought she looked familiar, but couldn’t place her.Ms. Trinh gathered the class on the carpet at the front of the classroom and introduced them to Simon Hastings Basset who would be joining their class. The woman who brought Simon in sat down and pulled Simon onto her lap and hugged him close.“I am Dr. Danbury and I am Simon’s godmother. Simon just moved here to live with me after his parents died. Because that is such a sad thing, Simon does not always feel like talking. But he is a very nice boy who likes trains and dinosaurs. He likes to run and play soccer and basketball. I have been told by a very reliable source…At that point, her eyes landed on Anthony with a twinkle, as she continued.“I hear that this is the best kindergarten class ever and that you will all be very good friends to Simon and you will help him feel happy and welcome in his new home. Can I count on all of you to do that?”“Class, let us all welcome Simon. Who would like to be his special helper for today?” asked Ms. Trinh.All the hands went up.Marina came over to take Simon by the hand to sit next to her on the floor.—Simon spent much of his first day looking down at his hands even though the other kids tried to come over to say hello, offer snacks and stickers or ask if he wanted to play. Simon would just shake his head.When it was time for speech therapy, Anthony scrambled over to Mr. Jackson who was waiting at the door. “One more for you,” called Ms. Trinh, as she took Simon’s hand and walked him over to Anthony, bent down and said “I know I can trust you to be a good friend to Simon, Anthony.”Anthony nodded dutifully. “Hi, Simon,” he said. “Sometimes I have trouble talking, too, but I’m getting better. Mr. Jackson and I will help you.”For the first time that day, Simon looked up at Anthony and Mr. Jackson and nodded as he followed them to the speech classroom.—When Violet came to pick up Anthony after school, she saw him sitting with a new boy showing him a picture of a dinosaur he had drawn. “Stegosaurus. See all the spikes?”“S-s-s-tego. S-s-s-saurus” said Simon.“That’s it! You’ve got it, Simon! Here, you can take my picture home to practice,” Anthony said as he ran up and grabbed his mother in a hug.“Oh, Mrs. Bridgerton” called Ms. Trinh. “This is Simon. I believe you and Dr. Danbury made an arrangement for afterschool pickup. Simon, this is Mrs. Bridgerton. She is your friend Anthony’s mom. Your godmother works with her and she told you that you would be going home with the Bridgertons afterschool on some days. Do you remember?”Simon nodded.Anthony was overjoyed. “Simon, I can show you my whole dinosaur set at home. Well, if Colin hasn’t tried to swallow them again. I have a football—I mean soccer ball, too—if you’d rather play that.”Violet laughed and took both boys by the hand. Dr. Agatha Danbury was head of her department at the college. She was in the process of adopting her late best friend’s son following her tragic death in childbirth, followed by her husband’s more recent death. Young Simon was a sweet boy who had a stutter, something that his cold, demanding father had no patience for. Agatha knew, as Violet did, that Simon just needed time, patience and the right help for him to thrive. She hoped she was not a terrible person for being somewhat grateful that Mr. Bassett had passed away and hoped that after the initial shock, Simon might be free to blossom in a healthier environment.Agatha also knew how much Violet loved children and how her own passion and advocacy for her own son with special needs had brought the Bridgertons across the ocean. She had a talk with Violet about arranging for Anthony and Simon to spend time together in hopes they would learn to help each other. Violet had raved about the progress Anthony had made in his new school with new friends and both women hoped Simon would also heal and grow if placed in such an environment.
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The night that Dr. Mary Sharma delivered Violet and Edmund’s fourth child and first girl was a stormy one, literally and figuratively.As per the plan, Rakesh bundled up Kathani and brought her over to the Bridgertons so he could look after all four children while Edmund raced Violet to the hospital to meet Mary for the delivery. Baby Daphne came into the world earlier than expected as Violet suffered from increasingly severe preeclampsia and monitors showed that the baby was in distress just prior to delivery, causing Mary to do an emergency c-section to save both mother and baby, even though Daphne had to be transferred to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at the Children’s Hospital an hour away.Violet was kept hospitalized for a few more days due to complications from the difficult labor with Edmund at her side. They were able to watch Daphne through a closed circuit video feed from the NICU and they could tell that whatever challenges she might face in the future, their baby girl was already showing herself to be a fighter with a shock of fiery red hair to match, so far the only non-brunette Bridgerton.Rakesh did his best to keep the Bridgerton boys and Kathani informed by explaining that, while it was scary for a little while, both Violet and Daphne were both doing well now and would come home once they were both healthy and strong again. Kids were not allowed in the NICU, but they could bring Anthony to visit Violet if he wanted to.Before Rakesh brought Anthony into Violet’s room, he prepared him for what to expect. Rakesh explained that she might be asleep. He told Anthony that there would be machines beeping around her hospital bed that told the doctors and nurses how well she was breathing and her heart was beating. She might be hooked up to a machine called an IV pump that gave her special medicine to make her better. She also had some plastic tubing in her nose which Rakesh explained was giving her extra oxygen to help her breathe more easily.Anthony asked if any of it hurt. Rakesh assured him that if anything did hurt, Violet would get medicine from the IV machine so she would feel better and help heal, which made Anthony feel better. He didn’t want his mother to hurt anywhere.As Anthony approached his mother’s bedside, Rakesh told him that he could hold her hand if he would like. Anthony was scared, but he remembered to take a deep breath like his therapy teacher had taught him and put his hand on his mother’s as Rakesh pulled his chair closer to Violet’s bedside. As soon as she felt her son’s tiny hand touch hers, Violet’s eyes fluttered open and she turned towards him.“Oh, my sweet, brave boy“ she breathed. “I am so happy to see you. How are you?“ She said as she squeezed his hand reassuringly.Anthony could not form words at that moment. Tears filled his eyes and he laid his head down next to his mother’s hand, allowing her to stroke his hair gently with her other hand and just feel comforted that she was next to him.After some time, Violet turned on the television for Anthony so he could see the video feed of his baby sister Daphne. “Congratulations on being a big brother again!“ She told Anthony. “Daphne is very little right now and she needs a lot of help, but she will come home soon and we are all going to take very good care of her. You have a special role as her eldest brother and I know that she will always be so lucky to have you, Benedict and Colin looking out for her.“Anthony watched his tiny baby sister on the screen. He noticed that she also had a plastic tube in her nose and an IV machine, just like his mother’s. Daphne squirmed around. Anthony felt that he was very glad to be his big brother. He would protect Daphne just like he protected his friends, because he was her big brother and she needed him.—Back at school, International Day was a grand success.Children and their families throughout the school brought special treats and other items from their home countries. Tables were set up across the gymnasium for everyone to visit and proud parents took photographs of their children underneath their respective countries’ flags. There was a whole program where the children put on plays, dances and sang songs from their home country.Anthony made a beeline for the Indian table when he saw they had samples of gulab jamuns for everyone, but also enjoyed trying lumpia from the Philippines and empanadas from Argentina along with other new foods. Simon enjoyed the jerk chicken patties from Jamaica that Genevieve’s dad made. Kathani liked the hummus that Mustafa’s mother brought from Egypt. Will enjoyed trying Ukrainian borscht Tom’s family made for the first time and was most proud of the Sudanese injera that his mother, Mrs. Mohammad-Mondrich brought, which she explained was popular in many countries like Ethiopia and Somalia as well, but that each country had their own unique variation of it.Anthony noticed Marina standing by herself under the flag from Haiti. He wondered where her family was, but felt that she shouldn’t be all by herself, so he went to stand with her and brought her his food to share.At the end of the day, as the families and teachers packed up, Marina started to look increasingly worried. Her father or grandmother were always right on time to pick her up, but it was unusual for them to be this late. Anthony and Kathani, who were used to their parents running a little later than most of the other parents sat with Marina in the gym as Ms. Trinh organized some items to be used for next year’s International Day.As the gymnasium clock ticked loudly, Marina seemed to get more and more worried until she started breathing very fast as tears came to her eyes. Anthony crouched down beside her and put his arms around her. “Remember to breathe, Marina” he said quietly. “Just like Ms. Andreesen taught us.”Kathani didn’t know what was happening so she alerted Ms. Trinh, who quickly called the office to contact Marina’s family and send the nurse.Marina wasn’t able to talk but Kathani held her hand as Anthony kept reminding her to breathe just like he was doing. Gradually, Marina’s breathing slowed down to match Anthony’s and by the time the school nurse made it over, she was already calming down. The nurse got her a juice box and made sure she was OK as Ms. Trinh learned from the office that Marina’s family’s only car had broken down and that is why her father couldn’t be there in time. Her grandmother was arranging a ride with a neighbor and would be there soon.Edmund arrived to pick up Anthony and Kathani as Rakesh and Mary were both finishing late at the clinic and hospital respectively, but Anthony didn’t want to leave Marina until her family arrived, so Edmund quietly took a seat beside Kathani and heard all about International Day from her. She also told Edmund how Anthony helped Marina feel better just by breathing and wondered how he knew how to do that.Edmond explain that sometimes Anthony would get very worried and when that happened, sometimes he forgot how to breathe normally. He said that it sounded like Marina had a panic attack but that thanks to their behavioral education teacher, both Anthony and Marina were learning how to manage their feelings when they became very strong. He mentioned that sometimes, it helped to have a friend who could remind you to breathe when it was hard to remember yourself.Kathani asked Edmund if Marina was all better now or if she would have a panic attack again. Edmund answered honestly that it looked like Marina was recovering now, which was good news, but that they didn’t know what caused the panic attack in the first place or if she might have one in the future. He explained that she and Anthony were learning how to manage and sometimes even prevent panic attacks in their special skills class and that while sometimes, people were forever cured from certain medical conditions like Violet after she was in the hospital, others, like Daphne, Anthony and Marina might have a medical condition for their whole life that they could manage with help, but might still get better and worse depending on different circumstances. He pointed out how lucky they all were that people around them knew how to recognize and help with panic attacks and that Marina would get extra help and support to make sure that she felt strong, healthy and happy again after this one.Just then, Marina’s grandmother appeared at the gym entrance and Marina ran to her, burying her face in her grandmother’s dress, tears of relief on her face. Her grandmother hugged her tightly as Ms. Trinh and the school nurse explained what happened.Marina’s grandmother sighed and explained that Marina must have remembered what happened last year when her mother was supposed to pick her up from Headstart, but never made it due to being picked up at her workplace and sent to an immigration detention facility for not having up to date papers.“It is not always as dramatic as you see on the TV news, but it hurts just as much, especially when Marina thought she had been abandoned and none of us knew what was happening until later that evening. Poor girl still has nightmares sometimes, but she has not had a panic attack since she started kindergarten,” her grandmother Fabiola Thompson explained.Edmund came over and introduced himself, apologizing that he had not meant to eavesdrop, but that he was the father of one of Marina’s friends and a lawyer with experience in immigration law. He handed Mrs. Thompson his card and offered his help pro bono as Kathani and Anthony hugged Marina and told her that everything would be OK.- My name is Marina Thompson
- I am 5
- I am from Haiti
- I love my parents and my grandma
- My favorite color is yellow
- I enjoy playing with my friends
- My favorite place to visit is the garden in the park where I can see the tall sunflowers
- I wish my mommy was still with me
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At some point during Kathani’s kindergarten year, she noticed that Mary’s lap was getting harder and harder to sit on, almost like it was getting smaller each day. When she mentioned this to her friends at school, Anthony didn’t miss a beat before saying “That means you’re going to have a new baby brother or sister. The same thing happened to my mom before the twins and Daphne were born.”When Kathani mentioned Anthony’s theory to her parents at home that night, Rakesh put his face in his hands muttering “That boy is too precocious for his own good.”When he raised his face again, Kathani noticed that his mouth was pressed in a tight line as Rakesh gingerly asked, “Did Anthony tell you exactly HOW that happened?”Kathani shook her head no as Rakesh let out a breath of relief. “Good, beti. That’s something that Mary and I will tell you all about when the time is right, because we will always tell you the truth. But for now, it’s fair to say that Anthony is correct.”Mary took Kathani’s little face in her hands. “It’s true,” she said. “If everything goes as planned, you will get to be a big sister for the very first time by the end of this summer. It looks like you will have a baby sister and she’s going to be so lucky to have you as her big sister. You get to love her and teach her everything that you know.“Kathani was delighted! Ever since she met the boisterous Bridgerton family, she had wished for a brother or sister of her own, even though Anthony complained that his brothers were always too loud and tried to eat all of his toys, especially Colin. But he seemed to enjoy having Daphne as a little sister. She was much quieter and he got to hold her, make funny faces at her that shenwould giggle at and help feed her a bottle which made her smile at him. Kathani had even gotten to feed her a bottle once, too, and thought it was just as much fun as Anthony said. She couldn’t wait to do the same for a little sister of her own.Anthony had also told her that Daphne‘s legs didn’t work as well as they were supposed to, so she had to see a physical therapist every week, just like Tom did at school. At home, Anthony watched and tried to help his parents do special exercises on Daphne‘s legs so that they would help her build muscles and wouldn’t get stiff so she could walk better when she got older.This was around the time that Anthony started to get really interested in robots. After spending one Saturday afternoon at the Sharma home watching the annual MIT robotics competition with Rakesh and Kathani, Anthony declared that when he got older, he would go to MIT and learn to make robot legs that would help Daphne walk.And so began an annual viewing tradition for the Sharma and Bridgerton families for years to come, complete with Nani’s special masala chai that Rakesh made for the assembled group. After trying Nani’s special recipe for the first time, Anthony was hooked, declaring that he despised English tea and would never drink it British style again because it was basically just hot brown water, much to Rakesh’s delight as he thought it might be nice to pass on the recipe to the eager young boy one day.“Maybe one day, when you two are older, we can take you to see the competition in person if you’re still interested in it,” said Edmund. “It might be a nice chance to get to tour some of the colleges in the area including MIT and Harvard and think about the future.”Kathani jumped in “I heard about Harvard from my aunties in India. I think that’s where I want to go for college.”“That’s perfect, Kathani,” said Anthony. “You can go to Harvard and I can go to MIT and we can both live in the same house in Boston and get married and have babies, just like our parents.”The sound of four adults simultaneously spraying chai all over the living room carpet at the same moment caught Anthony and Kathani by surprise.Rakesh choked for a moment and managed to sputtered out “What? When was all this decided?”Anthony considered Rakesh’s question thoughtfully. “Well, mum and dad said that they got married because they were best friends and now they have four babies. Dr. Mary told me that you were her best friend and now you’re having a baby. Kathani and I are first best friends, so when we get older, that means we’re going to get married and have babies, just like you, right?While Mary could not fault Anthony’s logic, she wanted to make sure he understood that this was not a unilateral decision and that if he was going to be a good friend and a good husband, he needed to understand that Kathani should have a say in any future plans, so she gently asked “Anthony, have you asked Kathani how she feels about this and if that’s what she wants to do?”“Not yet,” Anthony replied matter-of-factly. “I was going to ask her to marry me on the last day of school and if she said yes, I was going to give her a ring and then we could talk about where to live when we get married.”Anthony turned to Kathani. “I’m sorry I don’t have the ring yet, but what do you think, Kathani?”Four dumbfounded adults silently turned to watch Kathani as she considered Anthony’s pre-proposal. “I will need to think about it a little bit, because I don’t want to get married right now. I like living with Mary and Appa and I want to live with my new baby sister, too, once she is born.Kathani paused. “But if we only get married when we are old and in college, I would like to live in the same house as you so we can make masala chai and eat gulab jamuns together everyday.”Anthony positively beamed.”Hold on now, you two,” said Edmund holding up his hand in an effort to moderate these rapidly moving plans that looked like they might make Rakesh faint on the spot. “How are you two going to afford a house in Boston?”Without missing a beat, Anthony replied, “You can live with us too, Dad” sending Violet and Mary into peals of laughter.“Fantastic,” muttered Edmund.Rakesh was rubbing his head trying to quell an emerging headache as Violet patted him reassuringly on the shoulder and whispered, “At least you won’t have to live with the newlyweds.”—-True to his promise, Anthony Bridgerton proposed to Kathani Sharma at the end of the last day of kindergarten after all their classmates had said their goodbyes for the summer and they remained the last two kids waiting to be picked up by their parents.Anthony: I brought you your ring Kathani, if you still want to marry me. mum says that before she married my dad, he gave her a ring from the Bridgerton vault and when she said yes, they kissed each other. It also meant that after they got married, she became a real Viscountess which is better than a pretend princess. If you marry me, you can be a Viscountess, too. Yesterday, i asked her to buy this candy ring so i could give it to you today when I ask you to marry me.Kathani: We are still too young to get married, Anthony. What if I want to eat the candy ring before we get married? It could be a long time before we get old and go to college.Anthony: I just want to make sure nobody else asks you first because we are first best friends and we should get first choice to get married too.Kathani: I guess that makes sense. As long as we just promise to get married for now but don’t get married until later.Anthony: That sounds good. If I give you this ring, will you PROMISE to marry me before anyone else asks, Kathani?Kathani: Yes, Anthony. I promise to marry you first when we grow up.Anthony smiled widely and then solemnly presented Kathani with her grape-flavored candy diamond ring, but she suddenly looked worried.Kathani: But I don’t have a ring to give you, Anthony. Does that mean it isn’t a real promise to marry?Anthony thought fast.Anthony (confidently): No! It’s still a real promise. Mum has two rings and dad only has one, so it’s OK if you give me my ring later on our wedding day. It still counts.Kathani: That’s a relief!Anthony (shyly): Are you ready for the kiss part?Kathani: I guess so.Anthony quickly leaned forward to place a kiss on Kathani’s cheek, pulling back just as quickly and turning a fierce shade of red.Kathani: That was too fast, Anthony. I won’t even remember it. Stand still and close your eyes.Anthony did as he was told. Kathani leaned forward and pressed her lips to Anthony’s as her fingers counted 1-2-3 seconds before she pulled away and they both opened their eyes.Kathani: It doesn’t count as a kiss unless it’s for 3 seconds. Now it’s a real promise to get married, OK, Anthony?Anthony: You and your rules.He huffed slightly, but did not complain. In that moment, Anthony Bridgerton knew deep in his soul that his heart would belong to only one woman and that one day he would marry Kathani Sharma for real.And once again, neither child heard the familiar electronic shutter click of Mary and Violet’s iphone cameras from the doorway.
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First day of middle school (7th grade)Anthony and Kathani groaned in unison as their mothers insisted on taking first day photos of all 6 of the school age Sharma-Bridgerton squad together. “This is embarrassing. We aren’t little kids anymore,” complained Anthony.Even mild-mannered 9 year old Benedict seemed to be over it, but patiently plastered a smile on his face when requested. Colin, on the other hand, loved hamming it up for any audience, including the parental units. Seven year old Daphne and Kathani’s little sister, Edwina, also 7 and Daphne’s best friend, both preened expertly for the camera, with Daphne directing her mother to ensure that the new light up wheels on her purple wheelchair would be seen in the photo.The mothers insisted on one smiling picture, one serious picture and one goofy picture which prompted Kathani and Anthony to roll their eyes and swap glasses as per the tradition they established on the first day of first grade when they realized they had the exact same prescription, a statistical improbability, but a convenient coincidence if one forgot their glasses somewhere or when Anthony smashed a pair attempting a header in soccer. So for the moment, Anthony sported Kathani’s chunky red glasses while she popped on Anthony’s round wire tortoiseshell frames.“I knew this would happen and now we’re going to be late for school, can we please get moving?” pleaded Anthony after the last electronic snap.—Violet dropped off the elementary school kids first, maneuvering their trusty Bridger-van into a spot in front of the school entrance as Anthony hopped out to remove Daphne’s wheelchair from the back and help her out of the van as Edwina opened up the chair and helped lock it into position for Daphne. Sometimes Daphne used crutches or a walker due to her cerebral palsy, but on other days, she needed her chair.Anthony started to wheel Daphne towards the door, but she stopped him. “I told you, Anthony, not all the way. I can take it from here,” she said firmly.“As the lady commands,“ Anthony said genially bending over to give his sister a quick kiss on the top of her head.“You’re worse than mom,“ muttered Daphne as she, Edwina, Benedict and Colin sped toward the building to greet their friends.Kathani watched the scene unfold with fondness. Daphne‘s independent streak manifested early in toddlerhood when she insisted on feeding herself, a credit to the occupational therapists who patiently and consistently worked the muscles in her hands to help her learn to feed herself so she was right on target and developmentally equal in this particular task as any child without CP. Kathani knew Anthony loved all of his siblings, but he had a special soft spot for Daphne, his first sister, that sometimes manifested as overprotectiveness. But he was also so gracious and un-self-conscious about publicly showing affection for all of his younger siblings at a time when most boys his age would shy away.She remembered last year, when they were all still in elementary school together that when Anthony ran into Daphne in the cafeteria, the only place where first and sixth graders were likely to congregate, he would pick her up, swing her around in a circle, and give her a kiss on the cheek before depositing her back on her walker or crutches as little Daphne would squeal in delight.Kathani predicted that the day Daphne became fully independent and didn’t need assistance from her eldest brother anymore would be a very hard day for Anthony, but today was not that day as Anthony bounded back into the van happily and refastened his seatbelt next to Kathani, happily humming to himself.—On the way to the new middle school, Kathani thought about how seven whole years had passed since she first met Anthony, how he had since lost all traces of his British accent and how Violet and Edmond often proudly referred to him as their “All-American boy with an all-Indian palate.” Anthony was still really into robots even if Daphne didn’t need robot legs anymore. Rakesh and Edmund even took the two sixth graders on a special trip to see the MIT robot competition in person last year as a graduation gift. Kathani loved visiting the MIT museum as she and Anthony learned all about the human body. Kathani was especially entranced with how the brain worked.Anthony and Simon both graduated from speech therapy and behavioral education after just a couple more years with Simon coming fully into his own as a popular soccer and basketball player as well as a star in school plays alongside Kathani, who always had a natural stage presence. Simon was also fast becoming the tallest boy in class with Kathani close behind as the tallest girl, while Anthony wished he could catch up to both of them.Anthony started getting into music and was given a guitar and lessons for his 10th birthday at his request. He and Kathani continued in the gifted program together, competing in Odyssey of the Mind, Math Counts and serving as co-editors of a class newsletter they created in fourth grade. They found that they sometimes got a little bit competitive with each other, but always helped push each other to be better while also supporting each other in the way that best friends should.It had been sad to see some friends like Marina and Mustafa move away, while people like Cressida Cowper stayed, but at least for Marina, it meant that her mother could return from Haiti and her family would be together again as Edmund helped find sponsors for them to become US citizens. Anthony had comforted a sad Kathani after Marina’s goodbye party with the words Mary once shared with him that sometimes friends would move in and out of their lives and that was OK. Marina would always be her first girl friend, and Kathani also had to make sure she left enough room to make new friends.Along the way, three more Bridgertons arrived; another set of twins, Eloise and Francesca, when Anthony was 8, clearly marking a pattern that would henceforth be known as “the Bridgerton twin blessing“ because curse sounded too harsh in a family that loved children. The most recent arrival was Gregory, who was born when Anthony was 10. Violet and Edmund quickly and fortuitously discovered that Anthony was somewhat of a baby whisperer with all of his younger siblings, getting them to settle quietly in his arms even after their parents had exhausted all options. It was almost as if the babies instinctively knew that Anthony was the eldest and their sworn protector for life.Elementary school graduation also marked a milestone for Dr. Violet Bridgerton who successfully defended her PhD dissertation with honors to her thesis committee, which included Simon’s adoptive mother Dr. Agatha Danbury, on a history of political advocacy for children, a comparison between the United States and the United Kingdom.On the Sharma end, Edwina absolutely adored her big sister Kathani even as the two had vastly different temperaments and interests. Where Kathani was tall and lanky with arresting facial features, Edwina was petite and round with a soft, dimpled face that called to mind porcelain babydolls from the 1950’s. Edwina was the sugar to Kathani’s spice. Where Kathani was fierce and brutally honest, Edwina was demure and diplomatic. But both sisters loved each other and others deeply, were unfailingly loyal and would do anything for those they cared about.As the final dropoff neared, four year-old Eloise started to whine about how she wished she could go to school, too, while her twin sister Francesca sat quietly coloring in the carseat next to her. “Only one more year, Eloise,” Kathani said, turning to comfort the little girl. “But until then, remember how I promised that I would read you a new book every week so you would be all ready for kindergarten?”Eloise seemed mollified as Kathani and Anthony hopped out of the van and prepared for a new adventure.“Ready?” asked Anthony.“Set…” replied Kathani.“Go!” they said together as they walked into the building.
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Baby Hyacinth made her appearance midway through Anthony and Kathani’s seventh grade year. Having since learned in excruciating detail how babies came into existence thanks to middle school health class and being close family friends with two doctors who believed in being honest with children in an age-appropriate way, it was all Anthony could do not to avoid eye contact and civil conversation with his parents since they announced Violet’s eighth and what they claimed would be her final pregnancy.Kathani and Anthony only had one class together, basics of algebra, which was an advanced math class for seventh graders. Even though math had always come easily to Anthony and he and Kathani had tested into this class through their gifted program, he struggled in algebra and found it sometimes triggered his anxiety. He ended up staying after school to get extra help with a tutor. Kathani often stayed with him just to keep him company while her friend worked with the tutor so they could go home together on the late bus. Anthony knew that just having Kathani with him helped keep him calm and focused. He tried to return the favor by telling her funny stories his family passed down when she complained about how boring learning British history was. As the school year came to a close, Anthony started to tell Kathani more about the summer trip to England that the Bridgertons were planning. Anthony joked to Kathani that he planned to grow at least three inches this summer so that when he returned, he would have finally caught up with her if not Simon. “In your dreams, Anthony!” said Kathani with a friendly giggle.They planned to spend the entire summer vacation there. Violet and Edmond hadn’t been back for more than a couple of days at a time over the last several years and they had never taken the whole family back, but as the children were growing older, they started to more seriously consider slowly rebuilding bridges with some family members. They had some affairs of state they needed to manage with Edmund’s position as a Viscount, but also wanted to use the opportunity to reconnect with family and friends, hoping the years apart had allowed for some reflection on both sides.The Bridgertons believed that it was never too late to make amends and they felt that with Anthony thriving in the US, he might be in a good place to learn about their family heritage. Neither parent knew if he would have any bad memories from the earliest days of his childhood, but they felt secure in the knowledge that he was strong, rapidly gaining maturity and that they could help to provide any additional buffer if relatives got out of hand. If they were honest with themselves, they knew that they were returning with no small amount of trepidation given their exit eight years ago, but that they would face any challenges together as a family, united as one.—-The last week of middle school consisted mostly of reviewing the year’s materials and taking final exams followed by the last two days to enjoy an all-school track and field day then a special all day event with a movie, school carnival and dance.After their Algebra final, Kathani saw Anthony rush outside the classroom immediately after the bell rang. There was the usual pandemonium associated with passing period as kids rushed from one class to the next, but Kathani saw Anthony crouched against the nearest wall with his face in his hands breathing fast. She knew that it had been a long time since he had had a panic attack, but she recognized what she was seeing and remembered what needed to be done to help him through it. She sat down next to him, and quietly reminded him to breathe. She put one arm around him and noticed that it helped him calm a bit.Most of the students were too busy racing to their next final, so hardly anyone took notice of the scene until Jack Featherington and Darnell Cho walked by. Kathani didn’t know either one of them very well, but she was in physical education class with Jack and knew that he had a nasty habit of making comments about girls when they were running or doing other exercises. He had been sent to in school suspension on more than one occasion, but it never seemed to stop him from continuing the behavior.“What’s the matter, Bridgerton“ sneered Featherington “Are you crying?““Shut up, Jack!” snapped Kathani in a warning tone.“Ooh” said Darnell. “Looks like Bridgerton has a girlfriend.““Get lost, losers” said Kathani through gritted teeth.Anthony’s head was still in his hands as he tried to focus to slow his breathing down.“I guess you’re his girlfriend AND his bodyguard now,” continued Jack. “Bridgerton‘s such a puny wimp that he needs Giraffe Girl to be his bodyguard. I guess you think your mustache makes you extra tough.”Kathani gasped. But Jack wasn’t finished.“And look at all that hair on your legs! Do you think your skin is so dark you don’t have to shave?” he crowed.Even Darnell’s head whipped around in shock at Jack’s ugly words as Kathani felt hot, embarrassed tears sting her eyes, but before anyone could respond, Anthony was on his feet and his right fist connected solidly and loudly with the left side Featherington‘s face. Anthony plowed into both boys knocking them over and started pummeling them nonstop, yelling “Racist piece of sh—“The kids passing by formed a circle around them chanting “Fight! Fight! Fight!” before two teachers and a security guard appeared to pull the brawling boys apart.—-A couple of hours later, and after all of the parents and involved students met with the principal and counselors to discuss the serious nature of violence and stigmatizing language about mental health conditions, physical appearance and racism, it was agreed that the three boys would spend the last two days of school in the in school suspension room for fighting, missing all of the special end of year events. Kathani was let off with a warning, but it was also arranged for her to debrief with one of the counselors privately over the next two days.The Sharmas and Bridgertons made it clear to Kathani and Anthony that although the bullies were way out of line, violence was never the answer and that yelling insults didn’t solve anything either. Neither Anthony nor Kathani were able to look at each other after the altercation or the meeting in the principal’s office. They were both still so deeply embarrassed by what the boys said. It was one thing for them to tease each other in a friendly way about how short Anthony was or how tall Kathani was, but to have that weaponized against them in such a cruel way was something that cut to the core. On top of that, even though Kathani knew that she had hair growing darker and thicker on her arms, legs and to her horror, on her upper lip, it wasn’t something that anyone else mentioned, so she didn’t think much about it either even though she knew that some of the girls in her class had started shaving their legs.As everyone wordlessly filed out of the school, Anthony felt Mary’s hand on his shoulder. She squeezed it and gave him a meaningful look. “I’ll always protect Kathani” he whispered loudly enough for only Mary to hear.Mary bent down slightly and replied “I know. And I know she’ll always protect you, too, but no more punching or yelling, ok. Deal?““Deal!” answered Anthony with a grin as Mary put her finger to her lips to shush him.—-After the whole humiliating debacle with the boys, Anthony getting suspended and the complete ruin of her last week of 7th grade, Kathani cried herself to sleep that night. After dinner, between choked sobs, Kathani told Mary and Rakesh what the boys had said to her and Anthony. It hurt to even remember the cruel words much less repeat them out loud. She cried not only for herself, but for Anthony, because she knew that both boys would be back next year and that 13 year old boys had particularly long memories that matched the cruelty of their insults. She worried for both of them that eighth grade would be a living hell.Mary sighed and took the Kathani’s hands into her own. She shared that when she was growing up in the English countryside, she was one of only a few Indian girls at her school and she was sometimes teased about extra body hair, which was even thicker than Kathani’s due to her medical condition of PCOS even though it had not yet been diagnosed, as well as the color of her skin. Some people even called her a word that is considered a slur against South Asians. She didn’t want to repeat it now because even if it didn’t have the same effect on her that it once did, ugly words did not need to be repeated, especially in their home.She pointed out that there were some girls in her school who didn’t remove body hair for religious reasons as well as others who didn’t do it just because it wasn’t a common practice in their families, even if it was considered a norm in England, the US and some other parts of the world. When Mary got to college, she even knew women who chose not to remove body hair as a statement as well as those who just said they didn’t have the time or interest to do it every day.Mary also explained that sometimes hateful ideas don’t come out as obviously as racial slurs, but in other ways that can be more subtle, but still painful. She remembered having to learn formal dances as part of the school curriculum and how none of the boys would ever come up to her to ask to be her partner until the gym teacher forced them to. They usually crowded around the girls who were white and blonde even at a young age. “The Cressida Cowpers,” Kathani said knowingly. “But you’re so pretty, Mary. I thought you were an angel or a princess when I first saw you. Why didn’t the boys see that?”Mary shrugged. “Society tells people what is beautiful and sometimes you only see one kind of beauty, when there are so many different kinds of beauty, most importantly inside, but also on the outside.”“If you spend your whole life seeing only one kind of beauty on TV and in magazines and other places, it’s easy to start thinking that that’s the only thing that makes someone pretty or handsome. When you see lots of different kinds of people, you start to realize and see different kinds of people who help you realize that everyone has their own kind of beauty.” she continued.“As you get older, you start to see things with more than just your eyes,” finished Mary.“Well, whoever in charge of saying who’s pretty should just change so that everyone can feel beautiful and nobody gets teased,” said Kathani.Mary laughed. I wish it were that easy, but some of these beauty standards have been passed down for generations. The good news is that more people challenging those standards and encouraging people to look with more than just their eyes.”“Everything you said makes sense, Mary,” Kathani said “But it’s not going to stop those boys from making fun of Anthony or me again. I just don’t want them to bother us anymore.”“I don’t know how to stop them either,” Mary said. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to change yourself just to be acceptable in someone else’s eyes, but I also know there is so much pressure to fit in and that some people can be exceptionally cruel, especially in middle school and high school. I know shaving your legs is an expectation here and in England, even if it isn’t in India for your Nani and aunties, so if would like to think about it and start, I’ll show you how so that you don’t hurt yourself. I remember that my mom told me I should avoid shaving my legs because once I started, it meant I would have to do it every day. Even these days, sometimes I think it’s a pain and a waste of time. We can even try bleaching or waxing the hair on your upper lip so it doesn’t show as much. I wish we didn’t have to do this, especially since you’re still so young and I hoped you wouldn’t have to worry about this until you were at least in high school, but if having this body hair upsets and distracts you from other things that are more important, maybe removing it means you’ll have at least one less thing to worry about.” Kathani thought for a minute. “Has the hair on my face and legs always been there?““Technically, yes” said Mary, “You’ve always had an adorable little mush,” she said booping Kathani’s nose with her finger and making her laugh.“But as you get older and go through puberty, the hair will become thicker and more prominent in some places. Your little “mush“ has been there since you were a baby. I’m afraid that it’s just part of genetics, but I also think that you didn’t notice it before because nobody else called attention to it, which, in a perfect world, is how I wish things could have continued.“But there are always going to be people who will find something to make fun of even if you didn’t have a single stray hair on your body. I suspect both of those boys would have made fun of something else about you, whether it was your name or that you were taking an advanced math class just because that’s what they were looking to do, even if they never saw the hair on your legs or face. I just don’t want you to give them that power over you.”Mary asked if it would help to talk to Anthony about everything that happened, but Kathani knew she wasn’t ready to relive the experience even by talking about it again. It would just make it worse. They both had to forget that this ever happened because you don’t talk about your worst moment over and over again with someone who had their worst moment at the exact same time.Kathani asked if they could just move away, like they left India because of all the sad memories of her mother dying and like the Bridgertons left England so many years agoRakesh and Mary looked at each other helplessly. While they could not fault their young daughter’s logic or the precedence that had been set by both families, they tried another approach.“Sweetheart,” began Mary gently. “You know that the Bridgertons just went back to England for the summer. They left England for some very important reasons, but they also know that you can’t run away from bad memories or situations, or they will just keep following you. They went back because they want to try to make things better than they were when they left. It’s a hard thing to do, but it’s a very brave thing. Anthony doesn’t remember too much of what happened when he was very young, but they hope that he and his brothers and sisters can make some new happy memories with their family and start to enjoy some of the things they used to like about their old home.”“Why would anyone want to go back to a place that was so bad? I would leave forever and never come back,” Kathani said.Rakesh sighed. “Sometimes even if a place does not change, we can learn to change our perspective and how we react to things we cannot otherwise change, Kathani. You must also remember that no other person should have such power over you that they make you forget who you are on the inside. They can only make you feel bad if you let them in. People like that do not deserve to be let in.”“But how, Appa?” wailed Kate. “Those boys were so awful.”She dropped her voice “And I’ve never seen Anthony look like that before. How do we change our perspective for something like that?”“Well, it is not easy. I have always told you the truth, Kathani, so listen carefully. After your Amma died, I was very sad. I will always be sad and I know that is normal,” Rakesh started gently. “But I also knew that I had you to take care of and that I needed to be strong for you so you would grow up knowing how loved you were. I made up my mind that I would find a way to love you twice as much with your mother gone so you could always have that extra buffer when you felt sad or missed having your mom here. I worked hard to make sure your Nani and aunties saw you even more than before, when your Amma was alive, so that you would always feel safe and secure in the embrace of a family. Your mother’s death was tragic for us all, but it also made us stronger as a family and made us appreciate how much we loved and needed each other. We might not have known that blessing otherwise. It was a new perspective that helped us heal.”“But then why did you leave all of that to come here and start without Nani or my aunties?” Kathani asked.Rakesh took a deep breath. “Your Nani and my sisters were wonderful and still are, of course. They saw that even as we healed, everything around me reminded me of your mother. It was important to remember her, but my grief was starting to take hold again and I knew it wouldn’t let me be the Appa you needed me to be, much less someone who could give you twice as much love and attention as before. When I met Mary working at the clinic, I knew she was special. I did not think that she, a young woman at the beginning of her career, would have any interest in an old man like me.”“Appa, you’re not old!” giggled Kathani.“I am older than you, beti!” he laughed, happy to see his daughter smile once more after this week of misery. “But then when I saw her care for you after that awful night terror that scared even your Nani who has seen everything caring for children over decades, I knew that we needed a new start as a family.”Rakesh sighed again. “Maybe it was escaping in a way, but it was like a caterpillar that had to escape its chrysalis to become a butterfly. We wanted you to soar and be able to grow up unhindered by the sadness of being an orphan in a village where you would constantly be reminded that your mother was gone. We will always honor her memory and make sure she is part of you, but she would not have wanted you to live your life in mourning before you ever had the chance to crete your own life path.”“I see your mother in the deep darkness of your eyes, the ways they light up when you’re happy. She was an uncommonly tall, graceful, striking woman and I think I am starting to see that you will be as well. She always wore her hair in a long braid that reached below her waist. Her laugh was one I could hear from outside our home. And she loved you, Kathani, so much. She loved being your mother and seeing your intelligent blackberry eyes sparkle each time you learned something new. She will always be with us, through you.”Appa wiped his eyes as the three of them sat in silence.“I understand, Appa,” Kathani said and made a promise to herself that she would make her Appa, Amma and Mary proud, even if it meant changing her whole perspective.
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Anthony Bridgerton hopped off the school bus on the first day of 8th grade and took a deep breath. Even though the last time he was here was probably the worst moment of his life so far, he was determined not to let that memory ruin the entire year. He had a good time with his parents and siblings in England and even got to connect with some cousins who he promised to keep in touch with through online gaming when their respective timezones allowed.He also had a number of heartfelt talks over the summer with his father after Edmund caught him lifting weights to the point he nearly injured himself and then got Anthony to confess that he had also ordered muscle building supplements online to bulk up before school restarted in hopes of scaring off bullies like Cho and Featherington next year. Edmund had gently explained to Anthony that the supplements were unlikely to do anything except potentially hurt him and that the muscles he saw on so many fitness models were likely a result of anabolic steroids that were unsafe and unhealthy, especially for a 13 year old boy who was about to enter puberty.Edmund knew from his own experience as a young teen that Anthony needed understanding and support rather than a harsh lecture. He opened up to Anthony about how he had been a late bloomer and spent his early years at Eton scouting out the safest way to avoid the bigger boys who loved hazing younger, smaller boys like him. Edmund’s wits got him out of a lot of scrapes and he was fortunate to have a group of good friends as he grew older, but he also told Anthony that certain things like growing up, getting taller and stronger could not be rushed. It just so happened that the next couple of years would probably be the toughest as the girls around him would get taller than him, some boys and girls would start to look like full grown adult men and women while others would still look like little kids. Edmund laughed as he considered that it would take even a few more years for many of Anthony’s classmates’ brains to catch up with their bodies.Edmund knew that as Anthony grew older, he might want to spend less and less time with him and the rest of the family, but for this moment in time, he knew his son needed him and that Anthony wanted to hold him close for a bit longer. For Edmund, the feeling was mutual. He arranged for Anthony to join him in Sussex for early morning sea swims, just the two of them packing into a tiny car every morning at 5 AM. Initially, Anthony, who had never been much of a morning person, grumbled about getting up so early, but when he realized it gave him hours of peaceful undivided attention with his father, away from the loud bustle of his seven younger siblings, he realized what a gift this was and made his peace with waking in what felt like the dead of night. On weekends, the whole family would drive down to the seaside so they could all enjoy the beach, but Anthony was the one who took to the water as if he was born into it.Swimming in the quiet of the morning with his father making steady strokes nearby helped calm Anthony and gave him a sense of security in the open water. It allowed him to process his thoughts as the waves lapped at his body, acting like repeated hugs that contrasted with the bracing cold of the water itself, which he found invigorating. The calls of seagulls and waves crashing to meet the pebble-covered shore became fond, comforting sounds, so much so that Anthony recorded them on his phone left on the shore to remind him of this precious time.As the summer came to a close and the Bridgertons prepared to return to the United States, having successfully reconnected with select family members, many of whom marveled openly at all the thriving children, led by their kind and talented eldest brother, Edmund and Violet felt gratitude for making that move so many years ago even as they knew that Anthony and their other children would face new challenges as they grew.At the end of their last morning swimming trip, Edmund sat with Anthony to discuss the subject they had mostly avoided all summer—how he felt about returning to school and how he would deal with potential future verbal altercations with boys like Cho and Featherington as well as how Anthony would approach the issue with Kathani since they had never had a chance to really debrief as friends or between the families.Despite his father’s openness, Anthony remained resolute in not wanting to reopen any memories of that painful episode. Anthony knew he wouldn’t be able to control what boys at school did, but he felt certain that he and Kathani would simply go forward as if nothing had happened. Edmond paused, not wanting to burst his son’s bubble, but also concerned that the friendship might had shifted somewhat, due to the incident as well as the fact that many things change when one turns 13. But instead of pushing the issue, he offered Anthony a piece of advice to consider on the long trip home, one he hoped would stay with Anthony beyond the tumultuous teen years.“Anthony,” Edmund began. “Just remember that you cannot show someone your best without allowing them to see your worst.”—-Anthony did not completely understand what his father meant, but he figured it was one of those things that he would understand one day when he was his father‘s age and was happy to mentally file it away for later under “Wisdom from Dad.”As Anthony entered the school building, he thought about how he had considered asking Kathani to dance with him at the end of school year dance, if he had not been suspended and barred from the dance, that is. Even though most 7th graders just stood at the edge of the dance floor with their friends, drinking punch and talking, he had felt bold enough to consider asking Kathani to take the next step if the dance had gone well, but now Anthony guessed that was something that would have to wait until the end of eighth grade.He didn’t even know if she ended up going to the dance. He remembered how hard it was to see the look of shock on her face and tears in her eyes as Featherington had made such a cruel comment to her. Anthony knew that his body had gone into autopilot at that moment, in a way it would have done for any of his siblings, yet, he also realized that Kathani was most definitely NOT like a sister to him.Anthony just hoped that the boys commenting about her being his girlfriend wasn’t something that made her uncomfortable. It had never occurred to him before, but what if she were embarrassed to be considered his girlfriend? They had always been best friends and Anthony figured that would be the case forever. She seemed just as happy to be with him, but as Anthony had mulled many mornings swimming in the sea, he knew that Kathani was something much more than his best friend. In the three months away, he had missed her in a way he could not describe. Something in him ached, not just wanted, to see her again.But what happened last time they saw each other opened up a new and still raw wound that had uncomfortably exposed them both and made an indelible scar on both of their young psyches. And Anthony didn’t know if that would change things permanently or if they could just go back to the way things were.—Anthony made his way to homeroom, looking for Kathani on the way. Just as the warning bell rang, he caught sight of her with a group of popular kids, a group that included, to Anthony’s horror, Darnell Cho and Jack Featherington, along with Cressida Cowper and Siena Rosso.He realized with a shock that he almost didn’t recognize Kathani. She wasn’t wearing her superpower glasses and her hair had been straightened, falling down the full length of her back like a waterfall, swishing back and forth as she walked, almost mesmerizing him with its glossy beauty. Yet Anthony frowned a little at the realization that Kathani had probably traded her cool glasses for contacts, removing one of the elements that had first bonded them. The vertical cleft in his forehead to deepen, as he adjusted his own brand new rimless glasses, realizing with a twinge of sadness that they wouldn’t get to do their annual first day glasses comparison to see if they still had the same prescription.He also noticed that she wearing a hot pink miniskirt, suddenly feeling an unbidden warm flush go up his face as he noticed for the first time just how long her legs were. They looked a little different, too. “Did she shave them?” he wondered before turning away completely embarrassed by his thoughts betraying him and knowing he was currently in no condition to speak with her like a normal person.The group passed by him without comment, but he knew they had seen him and chosen to ignore him. Anthony was fine, even relieved, that the boys ignored him, but it wasn’t like Kathani not to say anything. He overheard a snatch of their conversation as Siena addressed Kathani, calling her “Kate“ and telling her that her pink miniskirt would be perfect to wear at her party this weekend followed by Featherington agreeing loudly.Anthony felt his blood boil. First of all, what was up with this “Kate” business? Kathani was a beautiful name that sounded like a special melody on his tongue whenever he said it. Second, was “Kate” friends with these people? Featherington? And where did he get off thinking he was friends with her after everything that happened just a few short months ago?Anthony heard Kathani’s, or Kate’s, laugh echo through the hall before she ducked into her homeroom. He would know that sound anywhere. He had missed it all summer. He closed his eyes for a moment and thought about how he had wanted to write to her, but things had still felt so awkward and raw after their last encounter. He thought he had always known in his heart that they would be best friends forever, but it was hard to know how to react when you saw your best friend’s vulnerabilities laid bare so publicly. He felt his anger rising as the very same boys who had been so horrible to her we’re now clearly flirting with her and what was worse, she seemed to be responding to the attention. It didn’t seem possible, but had he lost his best friend in one summer?—-Anthony felt like he finally had a stroke of luck when during PE, he saw Kathani—Kate, he mentally corrected himself—line up with the girls on one side of the gymnasium. He saw her scan the group of boys before pausing briefly on him. He grinned at her, but she looked down without returning the smile. Maybe she didn’t have her contacts in he told himself. He would catch her later.PE was the last period of the day and the only class Kate and Anthony had together this year. Kate’s eyes found Anthony as soon as he emerged from the boys locker room. His hair was curling over his forehead in that adorable way it always did when it was wet. His face was flushed and his glasses were fogging up, but he had seen her and was making his way over, bounding like a happy puppy reuniting with his people again. A little part of Kate’s heart stopped to see him looking so happy and hopeful, especially after everything that happened at the end of last year.“Kathani!” called Anthony. “Or…Kate, I guess!”There was no avoiding him now. Kate took a deep breath and faced Anthony, plastering a big smile on her face that didn’t quite reach her eyes.“Anthony! Hi! Welcome back!” she said brightly. “Yeah, I go by Kate now. How was England?”Anthony paused for a moment, studying Kate’s face. He had known Kate for too long, spent too many hours talking, playing, watching each other, mentally cataloging what made her smile, laugh, cry and get angry to know a fake cheerful greeting when he saw one.“Good, good,” he replied, choosing to push forward despite that uneasy feeling. “Seems like a lot has changed over the summer. Are you taking the bus home? Maybe we could catch up.”“Sorry, Anthony. I have dance practice now. Siena’s mom is taking me home after.”“Oh, OK,” said Anthony, unable to mask his disappointment. “Maybe later this week or something.”“I don’t know, Anthony.” Kate said. “I have dance practice most days or just hanging out with the girls when we’re not dancing, but…I guess I’ll see you around.”Kate saw his face fall for a moment as he quickly scrambled to hide the hurt, but Kate knew him well enough to know that Anthony’s face would always betray him. She struggled to maintain her own composure, knowing that she was doing this as much for him as for herself, even if he didn’t know it.“Ah,” Anthony said nonchalantly, already heading away before muttering under his breath. “Don’t do me any favors, KATE.”What Anthony didn’t know is that Kate heard every muttered word and for some reason, it stung her worse than the boys who made fun of her mustache last year. She quickly willed her tears not to fall and pulled herself together in the manner she had perfected this summer at the pool. She strode back toward the girls locker room, splashed her face with water, reapplied her lipgloss and checked her hair before flashing herself a smile in the mirror. Kate Sharma was strong and nobody could hurt her unless she let them. Not even Anthony Bridgerton.—-Violet immediately noticed the foul mood her eldest son was in after his first day of 8th grade. Having had some experience with moody preteen brothers and frequent conversations with Mary about preparing for teenagers in their respective homes, she allowed Anthony some space and privacy, before knocking on his door just after dinner.“Dearest…” she said popping her head in, only to be greeted by a groan from Anthony.She gave him a moment, not wanting to push, but she knew that he was hurting and hoped that years of behavioral therapy had provided him with some insight and communication skills to apply even through the stormiest of times, which appeared to have begun right on schedule.They looked at each other until she saw Anthony’s head and shoulders droop as he shot her a quick upward glance that revealed tears forming silently.Violet closed the door, made her way to Anthony’s bed and wrapped her arms around him, letting him sniffle quietly as she pressed her lips to his scalp and rocked him like she did when he was a baby.“Everything‘s changing, Mummy” he said, using an endearment he had not used since he was much younger. “And I hate it. Kathani isn’t even Kathani anymore. She’s Kate and she’s all-“He made a face “Pop-yoo-lar now. She’s probably already the girlfriend of that jerk from last year, the one I punched for saying…you know.”“Oh, my darling,” soothed Violet. “I am so sorry. That sounds awful.”Violet chose her next words carefully. “Maybe she just needs some time to figure things out on her own. Maybe people change. Do you remember when the two of you first met? I don’t think you were very nice to her either.”Anthony buried his face in his mother’s shoulder to hide the smile crawling across his rapidly reddening face and groaned in embarrassment. “I was five, Mum. Barely a fully formed human being.”Violet laughed. “Most 13 year old boys are not yet fully formed, either,” she added wisely.Anthony rolled his eyes and faced his mom, hugging his pillow under his chin. “But she’s my best friend and we’re supposed to protect each other from the bad guys. Why did she suddenly decide she likes this jerk? She could do so much better.”Violet’s eyebrows raised at her son’s pronouncement, but she sagely chose not to comment on the unspoken truth that hung between them, a fact that she and three other co-parents had known for years, a truth that they had quietly nurtured and gently teased each other about when neither Anthony or Kate were nearby.Instead, Violet opted to tell her son “First of all, Kathani—Kate—is a smart girl with a good head on her shoulders. It seems like there might also be a lot of assumptions being made on your end. Did Kate say she was with this boy? Second, you are not the Incredible Hulk, nor are you the Viscount Bridgerton and hopefully won’t be for a very long time. It is not your job nor your responsibility to protect everyone in your radius.“Anthony, dear, you are a marvelous and loving big brother to all of your siblings and a wonderful, kind, giving friend to all who are lucky enough to have you in their lives. But you are not responsible for protecting every person you know from things that will come at them regardless of what you do. You cannot control the world around you, but you can find ways to better manage what comes your way, good or bad. I think it must be time to ask for some help again. With your permission, I’d like to ask Mary for some recommendations for therapists outside the Sharma’s clinic.”Anthony nodded quietly. He knew his mother was right.Violet knew that the end of the last school year was hard on Anthony and the subsequent separation from his best friend made things harder in some ways, even if it was helpful in others. It was good to have a change of scenery in England and she had not had a chance to properly debrief with Anthony about whether or not it brought back memories for him from early childhood, but she knew that if this went on for much longer, she might see her brilliant son withdraw into himself and she didn’t want him to carry that burden in addition to facing a brand new school year without his best friend by his side.She would reach out to Mary to get Anthony restarted in therapy, but knew he might need someone outside the family clinic where they got all of their care just so he would feel safe enough to properly divulge his innermost feelings and discuss how to manage them without fear of judgment. Mary agreed immediately and texted over a list of child therapists who her other patients had good experiences with. She also sent Violet a follow up text reaffirming that this was a good decision for all concerned, that she was grateful for their ongoing friendship and that they would all get through this together. Violet replied with a heart emoji.—-A couple of weeks later, Anthony joined the swim team. He started seeing a new therapist who encouraged him to talk to Kate about their last conversation, which the therapist suggested might have made Kate feel almost as bad as Anthony did afterwards, something Anthony had not considered in the midst of his own hurt feelings over Kate’s new clique and look. They had steadfastly avoided each other since their brief conversation in PE.Even if Anthony was mad at Kate for seemingly changing her whole personality and hanging out with some of the worst people in their grade, he did not ever intend to hurt her. As her friend, he always promised that he would never say anything mean to her. He wanted to be an honorable man, a gentleman who always kept his word, so he resolved to apologize the next time he had a chance.He was emerging from the locker room when he saw Kate waiting by herself near the girls’ side of the gymnasiumAnthony: Hey, Kate. Can we talk for a moment?Kate looked guarded, but nodded silently and walked over to meet Anthony a little away from the girls locker room door.Anthony: I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being rude a few weeks ago.Kate: Thanks. Yeah, that felt weird.Anthony: I’m sorry. I just got the impression that maybe you didn’t want to talk to me…or even be seen with me, especially after everything that happened last year. That was such a mess and then when i saw you with Darnell Cho and Jack Featherington that morning, I just kind of snapped. I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings.Kate: I’m sorry too. I was kind of nervous about seeing you again after all that. I didn’t really know what to say. I guess I was kind of ignoring you, but only because I didn’t know if you wanted to talk to me. I missed you all summer. You weren’t even here for me to hang out with or talk to. You didn’t even DM or FaceTime.Anthony: I didn’t know what to say to you, Kate. That was the worst moment of both of our lives. I just wanted to get away and forget it ever happened, but now I have to see both of those guys everyday being friends—or even a boyfriend—with you and we don’t even get to hang out like we used to. Everything feels different.Kate: I have never been humiliated like that before. I actually had nightmares about that over the summer. It was bad enough the first time but I didn’t think I would have to relive it when I was asleep.Anthony was quiet for a moment: I am so sorry, Kate, I didn’t know it was that bad.Kate: I’m feeling better now. I hung out at the pool a lot this summer and got to know Siena and Cressida better. Darnell was there too. He actually apologized to me and he’s been pretty cool since then. Simon was there, too.Anthony: Well, Featherington was standing awfully close to you in the student commons earlier today. Maybe Cho isn’t so bad, but Featherington is the WORST! How can you even stand to be near him?!Kate: Well obviously you didn’t see everything. I can’t control how close he stands to me…but I can elbow him when that creep tries to put his arm around me.Anthony could not hide his grin at the thought of Kate elbowing Jack Featherington.Kate: And for the record, I’m not WITH anyone, not Darnell and certainly not Jack. He’s a NEVER boyfriend.Anthony grin grew even larger and Kate noticed.Kate: What are you so happy about now?Anthony: Did you jab him hard?“Of course” she answered with a flick of her hair and a grin at Anthony.Anthony: Remind me to never mess with you, KateKate: I will never let you forget, AnthonyKate: So tell me, Anthony, did you spend the entire summer drinking despicable British tea with the Queen?Anthony: Are you quite serious?
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Kate’s nightmares started the first week of summer break after 7th grade finished. Sometimes they changed a little, but they all ended the same—with her standing on the school stage in her underwear with all the students laughing and pointing at her, calling her a hairy giraffe as she stood there frozen and unable to speak. Worst of all, in her dreams, she would always see Anthony crumpled unconscious in a corner of the stage with her, his glasses askew with one lens shattered and his forehead bloody.The first time it happened, Kate pulled her blanket around her, turned over and told herself “it was just a dream” but the dreams kept coming almost every night. Kate didn’t know why the dreams seemed to get worse during nights with storms, but it didn’t take long for Rakesh and Mary to realize that she wasn’t getting much sleep and was spending her days napping and avoiding going out with friends to enjoy the long summer days she had so recently anticipated with such excitement.One evening, after seeing Kate fall asleep in the middle of her favorite movie after declining an invitation from Genevieve to go to a painting class at the community center, Mary sat down with Kate to find out what was really going on.“It’s already been a couple of weeks since school let out and you haven’t wanted to go anywhere,” said Mary. “I know the last week of school was difficult, but I don’t want you to close yourself off from people you care about, people who have been your friends for so many years like Genevieve.”Something about seeing the worry in Mary’s face triggered a very old memory in Kate and suddenly she felt like the little girl bundled up by her Nani and brought to her father’s clinic in the middle of a rainstorm after a particularly bad dream that had remained in her conscience even after waking. Kate knew that her dear Amma, the mother who had given birth to her, had died when she was too young to remember. Her family felt that it was a mercy that she would not remember, because young toddler Kathani had been thrown out of the autorickshaw with her mother when it skidded and crashed during the monsoon. The vehicle had ended up under a lorry (truck), but Kathani had been protected by the miraculous arms of her mother wrapped tightly around her until the very end with the tiny girl remaining unharmed except for the sound that broke the heart of the witnesses—the inconsolable crying for “Amma!”Not long after the accident, as the Sharmas were grieving Kathani’s mother, they noticed that whenever the rains came, which was unfortunately quite often as it was still monsoon season, the little girl would start to sob uncontrollably. The family would never know how much or how little Kathani remembered of the accident, but Rakesh knew that trauma often left invisible marks. Kathani was too young to know many words, much less use them to express her feelings, but the family rallied and knew that no matter what, they would always ensure that the little girl felt loved, protected and that she would never feel alone. Her aunties would sing to her each time it rained and show her the beautiful flowers her Amma had planted in her garden, which they tended with love in her memory. They would tell her that the rain made the flowers burst out of the ground, hoping for a drink to slake their thirst and that the thunder was just the rain’s way of waking up the flowers.“One day, Kathani,” her aunts would say. “You will grow up to be a beautiful flower just like your Amma, and all because the rain nourished you and the thunder called to you.”Months after the tragedy and with lots of hugs and support from her extended family of aunties and surrogate mothers in the village along with Rakesh and Nani, Kathani stopped crying during every rainstorm, but the fear and memories took hold in another, more insidious way as nightmares and night terrors, with one bad enough that it sent her normally unflappable Nani who bundled Kathani up in a shawl to the clinic for help one night when they first met Dr. Mary Sheffield. Since coming to the US, her parents were relieved to see that Kathani didn’t have more nightmares than the average child her age, and for the most part, the rain didn’t seem to bother her, but even Kate would admit that the worst thunderstorms still left her feeling uneasy until they passed.Kate had always prided herself on being fearless, with both Rakesh and Mary, encouraging her throughout her life to be brave, speak up and go after what she wanted, but what happened at school that day with the boys and the fight had made Kate feel so different, even alien, in the worst possible way, almost as if the boys were saying she was grotesque or damaged somehow. She wished she could be invisible in that moment. She wanted to curl up in a shell and never come out. She had always loved standing out, whether it was because of her pink glasses in kindergarten or onstage singing and dancing as the crowd cheered her on, usually alongside her costar and good friend, Simon. But this was a different feeling. For the first time in her life, Kate had felt that standing out was not a good thing. Kate had always felt comfortable in her skin just being who she was. Even strangers would sometimes comment on how beautiful, thick and curly her jet black hair was and how her skin seemed to glow, especially when she smiled. Even though they learned about puberty in their health class, Kate hadn’t really given a second thought to the hair on her arms or legs which has always been there in some form. She thought about what Mary had said about the boys in England never wanting to be her dance partner at school and instead, crowding around the girls who looked like Cressida Cowper. She thought of how her father had seen how beautiful Mary was when she arrived in India, but how he thought that he was too old, too different, “too Indian“ for a woman who had been born and raised in England to look twice at him.For the first time in Kate’s life, she was reminded that she was different from so many of her classmates, but not just different, but somehow…what was the word? Unappealing? Kate shuddered as she thought of even worse words that must have gone through the boys’ minds. Kate found herself unable to stop all of those words from tumbling out through tears as she told Mary about the nightmares, about rain in India, about those last days of the school year and about what it all meant.Mary hugged Kate tightly, knowing a bit too well what Kate was facing and how much more was likely to come. Kate pulled away for a moment to look directly at Mary. “And the awful things they said to Anthony. I don’t even want to think of them again,” she said shuddering again as Mary tightened her embrace.“But,” Kate took a breath and said in a small, breaking voice. “They also made it seem like Anthony and I LIKE-liked each other and that we were freaks if we did.”She collapsed again in tears in Mary’s arms as Mary’s heart broke for her. Kate wondered if Anthony, her best friend, saw her the way those boys did. If he thought she was too tall, too hairy, too foreign, too everything, too much of all the wrong things. She remembered that maybe he had, at first, thought she was too much of something. Maybe that was how he really felt deep down or what he would feel when he grew up. But they had become friends, best friends, and had been for eight years straight. Everyone knew it. But Kate wondered if everything was changing.“Do you think Anthony thinks those boys were right?” Kate asked tentatively in a voice barely above a whisper. “About both of us?”Mary responded, “I can’t speak for Anthony, especially since all the Bridgertons are away in England until fall, and but do you really think that’s true? Would he be likely to think something like that?”For a moment, Kate gawped at Mary and then giggled. “Isn’t there something in the parent handbook that says you have to tell me I’m pretty no matter what stupid boys say?”Mary laughed out loud and hugged Kate even closer. “If I had said you are a stunningly beautiful young woman, would you have believed me right now?”Kate grimaced and shook her head. “I guess not.”“You are beautiful, inside and out, by the way.” Mary said. “And I’m certainly not the only one who has noticed. I happen to know one young man—perhaps more than one—who have been quite smitten with you for awhile now. I seem to remember a proposal a few years back to ensure that no one else could claim your hand in marriage first.”Kate giggled again. “Kindergarten crushes don’t count, Mary.”Mary paused thoughtfully. “Well, maybe they should,” she said assuredly. “Maybe kindergartners pay attention to things that older people do not. Maybe we should not be so quick to dismiss their insights because I think they often see things honestly and they look with more than just their eyes. Maybe I wasn’t completely right when I told you a couple of weeks ago that it only happens as we get older. Maybe we need to remember what it’s like to see things through the eyes of a child but add the experience and maturity that hopefully come with age. Hold on a minute. I just remembered something.”Mary got up and headed to the bookshelf. She pulled a copy of Louisa May Alcott’s “Little Women” off the shelf and turned to one of the many dog-eared pages that Rakesh or Mary had read and reread to Kate and Edwina many times over the years. It was one of Kate’s favorite books, and one that she had convinced Anthony to do a group book report on with her back in sixth grade. Mary read aloud a passage from the book where Marmee is talking to her daughter, Jo, who does not feel beautiful after cutting off her hair “her one beauty” to help the family:“If you feel your value lies in being merely decorative, I fear that someday you might find yourself believing that’s all that you really are. Time erodes all such beauty, but what it cannot diminish is the wonderful workings of your mind: Your humor, your kindness, and your moral courage. These are the things I cherish so in you. I so wish I could give my girls a more just world. But I know you’ll make it a better place.” - Marmee, Little Women“That isn’t what you expected me to say, is it?” Mary asked. “As I was saying, of course you are beautiful even if you don’t see or believe it right now. It does not change the truth of that fact. But I also want to make sure you don’t feel that’s the primary source of your worth.”Kate smiled, but left unspoken the question of whether or not Anthony would still think of her as his friend or if he would be too embarrassed to be around her if people thought she was his girlfriend. They were most certainly not in kindergarten anymore, so any references to their childhood promise no longer carried any weight, she was certain of it. Too much was changing and it all seemed to be crashing down around her. Right now, Kate still felt like she was “too much of all the wrong things.” Even if Mary said she did not want Kate to see herself primarily through someone else’s eyes, Kate wondered if eventually, Anthony would grow up to think that boys like Cho and Featherington were right. Would he even think of her as girlfriend material? She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer.As if Mary had been reading her mind, she raised her eyebrow and added, “I wouldn’t want you to feel that a boy, any boy—even Anthony Bridgerton—had to like you or tell you that you were pretty for you to feel pretty on your own.”Kate buried her face in the cushion she was holding to hide the embarrassment creeping up on her face. Mary laughed again and hugged her close as she softened her voice to say, “I know we don’t live in a vacuum, but I always hoped that someone like you who is smart, strong, self-reliant, spirited…and yes, also very pretty, would be able to rise above the pressures that society can put on young women. Maybe that’s naive of me, but it’s how I hope we are raising you and Edwina not just to withstand these pressures but to fight against them so everyone can be accepted, regardless of how they look.”Mary had given Kate a lot to think about. They talked for awhile longer as the evening turned into dusk. They talked about how sometimes old memories that they thought had been buried away could resurface under stressful circumstances, with Mary acknowledging that middle school in general, and the recent incident in particular, would certainly qualify as stressful. She made Kate promise to tell her or Rakesh if the nightmares continued so they could help her talk and work through what was happening in the light of day instead of letting everything build up and come out as nightmares. Kate agreed. She also called Gen to make plans together for the next day.—-The rest of the summer stretched on and Kate slowly slipped into a fun, lazy summer rhythm, enjoying trips to the pool with Gen, music classes at the community center with Tom and trying out for community theater production of “Annie” with Simon, who landed the part of Daddy Warbucks which meant that Dr. Danbury had to shave her son’s head in preparation for the part. Kate landed the part of Lily St. Regis, one of the villains, which she was excited about. Any other time, she would have hoped to be Annie, but she didn’t feel quite ready to be center stage again just yet. She knew how happy Mary and Rakesh were that she even decided to try out after everything that had happened. Even Edwina landed a role as one of the orphans in the chorus.Part of her missed the fact that Anthony wasn’t here to be part of the musical, finding one way or another to play his guitar during the show, or at least be here to see the final performance and bring her flowers from Violet’s garden like he always did when the Bridgertons attended her opening nights, even when they were just school plays. Kate wanted to send him an email or a text, but she hadn’t heard anything from him since that day in the principal’s office and it only reinforced in her mind how embarrassed he was by everything that happened…and maybe embarrassed by her, too, she thought sadly.Kate realized how normal it seemed to have Anthony and the whole Bridgerton clan as part of her life for almost as long as she could remember. Not having them here for the summer made her realize that almost nothing she did was on her own. She knew she had her family and other friends around her, but there was something irreplaceable when Anthony wasn’t there. it was lonely, but it also felt scary to Kate. She thought about how she never really had the chance to miss her Amma, partly because she was so young and didn’t have the memories someone older would have, but also because so many others had stepped up to fill a hole in her life such that she never fully knew it existed except in theory. She realized that when she thought about her Amma, she didn’t feel sad because she missed her, but she felt sad because she never had the chance to know her.
It was a different feeling with Anthony. I she missed him like she missed a part of herself, as if they had never known what it was to be apart and she knew that nobody could fill that hole except her very best friend, who hadn’t said a word to her in months. To be fair, she reminded herself, she had not emailed or texted him either, which she normally would have done if he had ever gone for more than a couple of days without communicating, but the rules had changed in a way that Kate didn’t fully understand.The radio silence over the summer weighed heavily on Kate as her mind concocted new and increasingly worrisome reasons about why Anthony had not contacted her. She remembered how Rakesh had told her that no other person should have so much power over you, especially to make you feel bad and how Mary told her that no boy, not even Anthony, should determine whether or not she felt beautiful. Rakesh had said that sometimes, one needed a new perspective, even if Kate still needed to figure out what that new perspective was.She knew one thing for sure. She would never let herself be put in a position to be hurt again by anyone. Whether they hurled ugly words at her, tried to hurt her friends or ignored her for an entire summer, Kate Sharma was taking control and she was going to make herself bulletproof.
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Fate and puberty had a strange way of intervening in Kate’s life.One day, as Kate was preparing to go to the pool, Gen canceled at the last minute with a text saying “I just got my period!”Kate offered to go over to Gen’s house, though Gen was in no mood to share at the moment in a house full of older brothers, but Gen promised she would call Kate later to talk. If Kate was honest with herself, she didn’t really want to go the pool if not for Gen. She wasn’t into swimming like Anthony and mostly went to spend time with friends and stay cool during the oppressively humid summer days. She thought about just staying home, but she had recently tried to put into place the new perspective that Appa had encouraged her to adopt and she was working on being brave and independent, especially without Anthony there. She wanted to ensure that by the time eighth grade started, she would be bulletproof, with or without anyone around her.Just as Kate emerged from the locker room, her eyes drifted toward a familiar voice that instantly turned the blood in her vessels to ice. Jack Featherington was splashing water on Cressida Cowper as she screamed at him to stop, catching the attention of a lifeguard who blew her whistle and ordered Jack out of the pool for 5 minutes for not following the no splashing rule. As he pulled himself up, he caught sight of Kate, gave her a leering once over with his eyes in a way that made her feel uncomfortably exposed, then she saw Jack smirk as he whispered “Nice legs!” as she shuddered in disgust.Kate hurried over to the other side of the pool and jumped in to get as far away as she could from from Jack who nevertheless kept his gaze steady on her. Kate felt somewhat protected in the aquamarine water, but still felt uneasy knowing that Jack was watching her even though she resolved not to make eye contact with him or let him ruin her afternoon. She was brave. He couldn’t hurt her if she didn’t let him in, just like Appa and Mary said.“Hey, are you OK?” a high pitched voice asked.Kate turned in the pool with a start. Siena Rosso looked at her with concern and Cressida Cowper was right by her, glaring at her through narrowed eyes. Kate realized that both girls had caught the entire exchange between her and Jack, though they apparently had very different reactions to it.“Um, yeah. I’m OK,” Kate replied to Siena.“Jack can be a jerk sometimes,” Siena continued. “But his whole family is kind of messed up, so that’s probably where he gets it. But you don’t have to worry. He just runs his mouth a lot mostly.”Kate nodded. She didn’t need any reminders.“Anyway, I just wanted to see if you were OK,” Siena said. “Cressie and I were going to get ice cream if you want to come with us.”Cressida didn’t look at all like she agreed with Siena, but Kate thought Siena seemed nice enough and this summer was all about trying new things, even if it meant hanging around Cressida. The girls hopped out of the pool, wrapped their towels around them and found an umbrella shaded table to enjoy their ice cream.Kate learned that Siena’s family had moved to town just before middle school started. She loved singing and dance. She and Cressida had joined the school dance team last year and were now co-captains who would get to help choose the next year’s squad. The reason they knew Jack was that he was the nephew and current houseguest of their coach, Portia Featherington, who had three daughters of her own. Cressida who seemed to be the most plugged in to gossip revealed that Jack’s parents were in the midst of an all out war as they divorced.Jack, as their only child and sole heir to a generations old multimillion dollar family business, had become the unwilling pawn of choice in their messy custody battle. Lesser relatives like Coach Featherington’s late husband had already frittered away or sold their portion of the company to Jack’s parents leaving Portia and her daughters essentially cut off from any crumbs of the considerable family fortune, but all the more eager to gain the favor of the most moneyed or powerful Featherington who was left standing, hence her agreement to take in Jack. Siena rolled her eyes as Cressida animatedly relayed the Featherington drama.“Enough with the Featheringtons,” Siena said. “Why do they have to take over every single conversation? Anyway, I’m having a sleepover tomorrow night. Some of the girls from the dance team will be there and we’re going to do makeovers. You should come.”And so it was that Kate found herself the makeover project of six eager 13 year old girls and Siena’s two older sisters at Siena’s sleepover the next night. She had to admit that it was fun to dress up, which she had always loved doing with saris from India and Mary;smjewelry, and trying on different nail polish colors, but there seemed to be an awful lot of beauty rules Kate had never heard of before. Cressida seemed especially intent on telling her how “unruly” her natural hair was and furiously tugged a flat iron through it to straighten it while Priya Eaton and Jina Hallewell ripped wax strips off Kate’s legs (taking some bits if skin with it) as Siena’s 17 year old sister tended a bit more expertly to her upper lip, which looked red and swollen even after her careful ministrations.“You’re definitely cute,” Siena told her as she looked Kate over appraisingly, “but you need to get rid of your glasses and definitely need to come shopping for some new clothes with us. Besides, if you’re going to join the dance team next year, contacts work better.”Pru Featherington added, “And you need a cooler nickname. Kathani is too hard to pronounce. My mom probably won’t even bother,” she added with a careless cackle.“How about Kate?” cried Siena as the other girls agreed.Siena gave Kate a mirror to reveal her new self. “Kate, you are going to be such a babe this year!”—-The rest of the summer passed all too quickly for Kate.The musical Annie was a rousing success and not only did she make a fantastic Lily St. Regis, the Sharma family adopted the rescue corgi who played Sandy in the musical. Despite not being very professional and often running off stage if he smelled sausages anywhere within a 15 foot radius, little Newton, as Edwina named him, was a spirited and affectionate good boy whose presence in the show helped raise a ton of donations and find new homes for many animals at the local humane society shelter.Kate and Gen still got together off and on, but the dance team and its members were taking up a lot more time than Kate had planned and she found herself canceling more often with Gen and Tom, giving up the community center classes and trips to the library for dance practice and trips to the mall. Kate had asked if Gen wanted to come to the pool with Siena and the gang, but once she heard Cressida was part of the group, Gen bowed out. Kate didn’t blame her.Kate spent more and more time with Siena and the dance squad as the summer wore on, trading clothes, secrets about who they like-liked and discussing plans for Pru’s first boy-girl birthday party once school started. The squad was already planning secret kissing games for the party and figuring how to pull them off behind the coach’s back, although Pru was convinced that her mother might actually support the idea since she was always trying to guilt her daughters into becoming more popular, looking prettier and getting boyfriends ASAP even though the youngest, Penny, was only 10.During Truth or Dare at one sleepover, Kate even learned that she was woefully inexperienced with boys when compared to the other girls, most of whom had already had at least one boyfriend, held hands or kissed a boy. Kate was asked how many boys she had kissed and who she had a crush on, but she somehow felt that it would violate a special trust she had with Anthony to reveal anything of their long ago kindergarten proposal and kisses, so she just said no one at the moment.Even though the girls promised they would keep it a secret, Kate she didn’t completely trust Cressida or Pru. She also noticed young Penny listening intently at the periphery of the grouo, because Coach Featherington insisted that all three of her daughters be included in any social events related to the dance squad with hopes that they would benefit from the reflected glow and popularity of the other girls.In any case, when it came to kissing experience, even if she and Anthony had technically kissed twice, Kate was not sure anyone would count kindergarten kisses when the girls clearly meant something more mature. Kate thought about how confident Siena was about all things related to boys, beauty and music. Siena was tiny and cute. She knew how to smile, giggle, modulate her voice and even look in a just such a way to get boys to notice her. Kate wasn’t sure how to describe herself besides being very tall and having elbows and knees that seemed too sharp. She certainly did not have any experience flirting with boys. She felt like the odd one out, well out of her depth, something she had never before felt when she was around friends.Siena told Kate in confidence that at the beginning of seventh grade, Jack Featherington was her boyfriend, but that he was sometimes mean and even tried to start a rumor about her after they broke up. Even though she had kissed him five times, she wasn’t interested in him anymore, but she didn’t think he was that bad. But she did learn that he had a thing for Kate and that he had started asking about her after her makeover and seeing her around the mall with the rest of the dance team. Siena even suggested that Jack and Kate might make a cute couple.Kate was horrified. She definitely did not want to be on Jack’s radar for any reason, even if the other girls thought he was not that bad. The one thing she hoped for next year was that Jack and his friends would steer clear of her—and Anthony—who she still had not heard from.Siena leaned in a bit closer and asked in a whisper, “Or do you already have a thing with Anthony Bridgerton? I heard about the fight last year. That’s part of the reason I wanted us to be friends. I thought I could help by giving you a makeover.”Kate was stunned, both by Siena’s question and her admission. She shook her head quickly and decisively. “No. Anthony and I are just friends. We’ve known each other since kindergarten, but I don’t like him like that,” she said, feeling a lead weight descend into her stomach, knowing that she was not being entirely truthful.“That’s good.” said Siena. “Jack doesn’t like competition. I think as long as you stay away from Anthony, Jack won’t bother either of you anymore. My sister told me guys get really jealous easily. I think Jack is like that. He is mostly OK unless something sets him off.”“I don’t want any trouble from him, but I’m not interested in being his girlfriend at all,” said Kate firmly.Siena shrugged. “Anyway,“ she said. “Don’t worry about the not kissing anybody thing. We’ll have lots of kissing games at parties this year, so you’ll get lots of experience whoever you decide to be your boyfriend.”—-The night before the first day of eighth grade, Kate put her glasses away in their case and then tucked it away in her drawer. She thought about how she had to get up earlier than before to straighten her hair the next morning and how her legs still burned from the waxing while her upper lip was raw and red. She thought about how the girls all called her Kate now. Part of her was excited to see what the new year would bring with her new look and new friends, but it also felt like she was putting away a part of herself and saying goodbye to her younger self, Kathani, as well.She remembered how Appa remained completely silent when he picked her up from Siana‘s home after that first sleepover. She could hear him talk with Mary in hashed tones after she came home, just before she collapsed into a deep sleep on her bed.After she had woken up, Mary had come to talk with her. She could tell that Mary was being very careful and not as open as she normally was. Mary had told her that she understood this was new territory for Kate and that she was growing up. She explained that they wanted to support her being independent and starting to make at least some decisions on her own, but she also said she was a little worried that Kate had let the girls do so much to her without knowing possible consequences ahead of time. She also said that she would have preferred it if Kate had come to her, like they had talked about at the end of last school year, so she could have found a less painful and less scarring way for Kate to remove unwanted hair on her body. Mary assured her that there were less painful ways to do it that would not cause her skin to burn or little pieces of skin to be ripped off in the process. i’m at the very least, what she could do to help soothe her skin afterwards. Mary did agree to take her to the eye doctor so she could get fitted for contact lenses, but made her promise that she wouldn’t let anyone give her a tattoo or piercings anywhere without at least discussing it with her parents first.Mostly, Kate thought about how it was up to her to protect both Anthony and herself from Jack and the other boys. Siena had said that the key was not to let Jack get jealous. She would never let Jack be her boyfriend, but she could at least avoid Anthony so Jack didn’t have any reason to be jealous or get mad. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Anthony had spent the last couple of months ignoring her and after everything that happened at the end of seventh grade, she couldn’t blame him. if Anthony pulled away, so would she and it would be the best thing for both of them. She would be strong and brave and independent. Kathani may not be here anymore, but bulletproof Kate was taking her place.Well, eighth grade, she thought, here comes Kate.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Before Kate and Anthony knew it, November had arrived as they found themselves negotiating and working through a new sort of understanding in eighth grade. They saw each other every afternoon during their last period of the day, Physical Education, but dutifully followed the unspoken rules of no conversation between the boys class and the girls class despite being under the same roof on opposite sides of the gymnasium.Kate’s makeover had attracted a lot of attention as Siena had predicted. Her new friend seemed only too happy to show off her handiwork in the form of Kate, which left Kate feeling a confusing mix of emotions-sometimes happy for the opportunity to meet new people who seemed very interested in her now that she was in the popular group, grateful (she guessed) to Siena for making it all happen, but also a little uncomfortable that part of what made her popular didn’t really seem to be who she was at all.Cressida also insisted that all the dance squad girls set up instagram accounts so they could post and tag each other. Coach Featherington heartily supported Cressida’s idea so she could get more exposure for her dance team and potentially attract sponsorships as well as more attention for her and her three daughters. Mary and Rakesh were reluctant to let Kate set up an insta account, but only agreed after Coach Featherington made it a requirement for all dance squad members and Kate begged them not to make her quit over it. The Sharmas insisted that as a condition of their approval, they would create their own account to follow hers and set some ironclad ground rules about privacy and safety, which included allowing them full access to her account to head off any problems or unwanted attention until she was older and had shown that she could handle social media.—-Since Kate’s last conversation with Anthony, when they had both apologized, there had been a noticeable shift in their friendship that was palpable to their mutual friends and family. After being virtually joined at the hip for the entirety of their elementary school years, it seemed the best friends had suddenly cooled toward each other and were taking separate paths. Kate had still not told Anthony or anyone else the whole story of why she had avoided him the first day and continued to do so, but even with the distance between them, she noticed that he was far more guarded than she had ever known him to be, not just around her but in other aspects of his life where he had otherwise been a bit more adventurous and open. He didn’t completely avoid or ignore her, but sometimes he would just give her a half smile and then look down if they passed in the hall.The Bridgerton and Sharma families still had regular get togethers, but Kate or Anthony would sometimes bow out, citing homework or big projects they needed the weekend to catch up on. Anthony even used the time to connect with his British cousins on Fortnite or Minecraft or Kate would do insta live events with her fellow squad members, often at the Coach’s behest. To their credit, the parents shared their concerns about the apparent change in the friendship with Kate and Anthony individually, but ultimately accepted that the middle school years could be awkward times for even lifelong friendships and didn’t push their eldest children into forced interfamily socializing.As it turned out, Anthony had a legitimate but unfortunate reason to avoid the Sharma home since discovering he was allergic to dogs. Kate originally suspected that part of his “allergy” was behavioral given the way Newton, who was perfectly lovely with most of the Sharma and Bridgerton kids, had ferociously attacked Anthony’s pant leg during his first visit back for movie night as members of both families collapsed with laughter.“Kaaaaaaate!” Anthony had roared “Get. Him. Off. Me!”Kate was able to wrestle the rotund corgi off Anthony who hissed “This is why I prefer cats!” at the offending canine who continued to growl at the interloper as Violet managed to record the entire scene with her ever present iphone. Colin even found a way to cut together a video of Newton growling and Anthony making a remarkably similar facial expression and growl of his own that he asked Kate to post on her instagram account set to Baha Men’s Who Let the Dogs Out. It became her most popular video to date much to Anthony’s eternal embarrassment.But unfortunately, there was no denying the sneezing, wheezing and hives that popped up on Anthony’s skin by the end of “Bend it Like Beckham” that night, proving that he was, in fact, allergic to the newest member of the Sharma family. It certainly seemed the feeling was mutual as Newton continued to single out Anthony as his favorite chew toy.On the bright side, however, something about the hilarity and absurdity of that particular incident had at least temporarily broken the self imposed barrier that Kate and Anthony had set up between each other. From that point forward, they adhered to an unspoken social contract where, at school, they would remain in their respective social spheres, but when it was just the two of them with their families, things would slip in back into their normal routine without any explanation or apology. It was simply a tacit understanding that allowed them to maintain a thread of their friendship that both knew was too precious to sever completely. But both of them knew that come Monday morning, they would retreat to their expected social roles within the middle school hierarchy.And for Kate, that’s just what it would have to be—a role—like any role she would play in a theatrical performance. She knew it was a raw deal for both of them. She missed being able to just cut loose with Anthony at school, but she couldn’t fathom dealing with the repercussions of being ostracized again and she knew that everything about her identity put her at greater risk of that if she didn’t just go with the tide. Kate missed everything about Anthony. Everything felt comfortable and safe when she was with him. The familiarity had always wrapped around her like a warm blanket. It was not easy to give that up, but every time she saw Jack’s narrowed eyes looking towards her, appraising her, making her feel like she was under a microscope, she reminded herself that staying away from Anthony meant protection for him and her.Nothing was worth giving up that sense of security, even if it meant being away from her best friend. Besides, she reasoned, she still got to enjoy pieces of Anthony and pieces were better than nothing. Pieces were definitely better than nightmares of him being beaten up or reminders of how it felt to be exposed and embarrassed in front of the whole school. No, Kate told herself, there was no need to risk that again. This was all part of growing up and she would learn how to play the part to keep everyone safe and happy.If Anthony was honest with himself, it hurt to have to slip on a mask at school and pretend he didn’t know Kate, but something was better than nothing and he had became accustomed to the gnawing hole in his stomach that he worried would never close. He would sometimes catch himself gazing over at the girls side of the gym, looking for a sleek wall of black hair swinging around Kate’s leggy form. “Get it together, Bridgerton!” he mentally chastised himself as he forced himself to look away and avoid turning into a total creeper.He missed not just the proximity, but the warmth and deep understanding they once shared. Kathani had been like his other half all through elementary school, but eighth grade Kate was a mystery to him, someone who had closed herself off willingly except for the increasingly rare moments where they would let down their guard and fall into familiar patterns, but even then, studiously avoiding the elephant in the room of what caused the rift in the first place.So in spite of the pain it caused to see his one-time best friend pull away from him at school, Anthony made a choice to make the most of the brief moments they had. He would pop an antihistamine pill, squirt anti-allergy steroids up his nose, take a few puffs of his asthma inhaler and store a few dog treats for Newton in preparation for any visit to the Sharmas and put a smile on his face. Regrettably, the snausages did little to gain favor with the tiny but fierce doggy who remained obsessively vigilant over his people, and in particular, Kate, but at least she was still in his life.During one movie night, Anthony fell asleep on a very alert Kate’s shoulder a few minutes into “Munna Bhai, MBBS” thanks to the induced drowsiness of his medication and woke up to 10 year old Colin making kissy sounds as Benedict “ooooooo woooooed” and Violet snapped another photo as a mortified Anthony wiped the drool off the side of his mouth and apologized to Kate for getting her shoulder wet.Kate instinctively reached out to adjust Anthony’s glasses which had once again become askew, but as soon as their eyes met, they both froze. It had been so long since Kate had been that close to Anthony. His eyes were a dark cafe Americano brown and still so warm, but also questioning. She had not been that close to him for a long time. Kate mentally cursed their sudden proximity and found herself finally admitting that she found Anthony Bridgerton cute, as in like-like a boy cute, an increasingly stubborn feeling she had tried to force down since the first day of eighth grade when she had noticed a rather attractive tan that he had developed after spending almost every morning swimming in the sea in England.He smiled shyly.Oh Lord! When had Anthony’s dimples become so prominent? Surely they must have been there before, but now they were distractingly obvious just like the thick, dark shock of hair that fell over his forehead. Why did it suddenly make her stomach flutter when he ran his fingers through it, which he did constantly. Part of her wanted to brush the hair off his forehead and trace the indent the dimples made in his cheeks, but that would mean touching him again. Again? Kate had already touched him once and her hands were still on his glasses. She was STILL touching him! What the heck? Why couldn’t she move? Why wasn’t HE moving either?Anthony held his breath as Kate’s hands stilled on his face. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights of her sparkling almost black eyes. He was mesmerized. All he could do was smile at her. He wanted to touch her hair, so long that she was practically sitting on it. It looked so silky and black. Did it feel like silk? He could smell her some sort of floral scent, probably her shampoo. It was heavenly. Did she always smell like that? Why hadn’t he noticed that scent before? He found himself leaning closer to inhale as if he couldn’t stop himself.Kate quickly let her hands drop as she and Anthony broke their gaze. Anthony shook his head and swallowed. Both faced forward, avoiding any further eye contact and hoping no one else had registered the charged moment that had just taken place. It felt like time had been suspended.The business of maintaining a socially respectable distance just became that much harder for the two friends.—-Things did not get any easier when Kate attended Pru Featherington‘s birthday party the night before Thanksgiving holiday started. Anthony was not invited, but a bunch of guys including Simon, Jack, Darnell, Will Mondrich and Tom were there. Coach Featherington had basically left the kids to their own devices as they sprawled around the basement and back patio of the Featherington home. Kate noticed that some of the kids coupled up and found dark corners to make out with each other while others danced on the patio. She noticed that Siena seemed to have reconnected with Jack and wondered why, given everything Siena had told her about him trying to start a rumor about her after they broke up last year. Siena seemed way too nice for a guy like Jack.Kate spent some time talking with Penny Featherington, who just seemed wide-eyed and nervous to be around all these older middle school kids, but also seemed to be quietly taking stock of everything going on around her. Kate could swear that she saw her taking notes at some point which reminded her of a book she had read in fifth grade called “Harriet the Spy.“ She also spent some time talking with Simon who was having a very successful soccer season, but was thinking of focusing more on wrestling once high school started next year. He was good friends with Will who was also planning on joining the wrestling team. She also got to know one of the other newer girls at the party, Cordelia Patridge, whose family had recently moved to town and whose father was Siena’s mother’s boss, hence the invitation. Their conversation was interrupted when Pru loudly declared that it was time to play “special” birthday games. The group “oohed” and some of the girls blushed while some of the boys nervously started running their fingers through their hair—just like Anthony does, Kate thought, immediately trying to banish the thought.Cressida gathered everyone in a circle to explain that there would be two choices for the first game, but that both involved kissing. Kate froze. They had talked about this during their sleepovers in hushed tones, but she had her doubts about whether or not the execution of the kissing plans would actually happen. Suddenly, she felt very nervous. She had gone along with the discussion at the sleepovers, but the truth is, she wasn’t sure that she wanted to kiss anyone right now. She looked around at the boys who were there. Some of them seemed pretty nice. She guessed that they were even a couple who probably liked her or had at least been paying more attention to her this year than before, but what if she had to kiss someone she didn’t like?Cressida went on to explain the rules. She had an empty glass soda bottle that everyone would get a chance to spin once. Whoever the bottle pointed to when it stopped spinning would be the person the spinner would have to kiss. They could either choose to do a kiss in front of the whole group or they could go into a closet where they would spend 60 seconds doing whatever they wanted to, but it would be totally private. The spinner would get to choose which option they wanted.Kate started to sweat. She didn’t like either option. She noticed Simon looking at her with concern. “Are you OK with this, Kate?” he asked quietly.Kate didn’t know how to answer him. Simon moved closer to her. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,“ he whispered.Just then, Will stood up and made his way to the stairs to leave. “What’s wrong, Will?“ sneered Jack. “Are you afraid to kiss a girl?”Will, who was much taller and more muscular than Jack walked towards him so that there was only one inch between the two of them. He looked Jack in the eye and calmly said “No. I don’t play games like this because they’re against my religion. I’m going home.“There was silence in the room as Will left and Cressida faltered. “Everyone here has to play to be fair to everyone, but if you don’t want to, you can leave,” she said.Simon raised an eyebrow at Kate, but she shook her head and stayed where she was when she saw Siena looking at her expectantly with a smile and a thumbs up. Penny and Cordelia headed upstairs along with a few other girls and boys.“OK, then!” said Cressida. “Pru gets to spin first because she’s the birthday girl.”Pru looked extremely pleased when her spin landed on Simon, who groaned inwardly. Pru was eyeing the closet. Simon looked like he wanted to sink into the ground, but Kate knew that he would never hurt or embarrass anyone, so she stepped up instead.“I think that both people should have a say in what they want to do. What if one person doesn’t want to do the closet. It isn’t fair to force them.” Kate said with her voice practically shaking.Pru shot Kate a withering glare, but Darnell spoke up. “I think that’s fair,” he said. “Kate’s right.”“Consent counts on both ends,” added Tom. “I’m with Kate.”Cressida looked put out, but reluctantly agreed since no one wanted to be accused of not supporting consent. Pru still looked murderous, but had apparently decided that she would rather not be embarrassed by Simon refusing the closet option and simply said they could get off the group. Simon leaned forward gave Pru a quick kiss on the cheek and leaned back before anything more could be said.The game went on, with all participants choosing the quick public kiss option over the closet until Jack’s spin landed on Kate, whose stomach sank in horror. Jack wiggled his eyebrows and high-fived a boy named Brian Fife. Aside from the fact that Kate still loathed Jack, Kate had another reason to be worried. When Tom’s spin had landed on Siena and she came over to give him a kiss on the lips, both of them blushed furiously afterward, an observation that had sent Jack into a brief rage with him crushing a pop can on the table and stalking outside until it was his turn. Even though Siena and Jack were probably on their way to being a couple again and he might have gotten jealous as Siena had once told her, Kate did not like seeing Jack get so physical over a game.Kate looked at Siena, who didn’t seem particularly upset by Jack’s spin, but rather quite excited on Kate’s behalf for what she believed would be her friend’s first kiss. Kate felt paralyzed. She had spent the last several months trying to avoid Jack’s lecherous gaze and his creepy way of throwing his arm around her when she had made it clear that she didn’t want him touching her, but also trying to tow the line between antagonizing and placating him to prevent him from turning his nastiness on her or Anthony. She had basically given up her best friend in the process, but having to kiss him was a step too far. She did not want Jack anywhere near her, especially after she saw how angry he could get over the smallest provocation when he did not get his way.“So, closet or public kiss?” asked Jack as he made his way over to Kate.“Neither,” Kate said. “I don’t want to do this.”Jack laughed mirthlessly. “Too bad,” he said. “You consented by not leaving when you had the chance. You have to kiss me. Now, closet or in front of all these lovely people?”“Just kiss him,” yelled Pru. “You’re ruining my party.”“That’s not how consent works. Kate said no,” said Tom as Simon moved to put himself between Kate and Jack.“I’m leaving now,” said Kate as she hurried upstairs, pretending not to hear Jack and Tom arguing loudly in the background.She quickly texted the message “Newton Growls” to Mary, putting in place a plan which they had agreed upon ahead of time, specifically after Siena’s first sleepover. Kate felt lucky that her parents loved her, trusted her and talked to her about ways to get out of bad situations. One of their plans was that if she ever needed an emergency pick up, she would text them the codeword “Newton Growls” which meant they would drop everything and pick her up wherever she was, no questions asked. Mary and Rakesh had told her that no matter what situation she was in, no matter what she was or had been doing, their main concern was that she come home safe and sound. They had promised that if she was ever in trouble, she could call them and say anything to them just as long as they could bring her home safely. Any concerns about consequences and lectures would be left for the next day, once everyone had a chance to recover and ensure safety. Her parents told her that whatever happened, they would get through it together. Kate was grateful that they had the emergency system in place. Almost immediately, Mary texted back that she was on her way.it was starting to get cold and Kate had not brought a jacket with her, but she heard someone behind her and turn sharply, worried that it might be Jack. Fortunately, it was Simon who came to stand with her. He offered her his leather jacket. He waited with her until Mary pulled up in the car with a worried expression that relaxed somewhat when she saw Simon and Kate standing together outside. As per their agreement, Kate and Simon silently got into the backseat without any fear of interrogation. Mary dropped Simon off at Dr. Danbury‘s home.At home, Kate collapsed into Mary’s arms in tears. Rakesh and Edwina came into the living room and enveloped both of them in a full family bearhug.—-The next day, Violet Bridgerton sighed happily as she set up placecards around the dining table for Thanksgiving dinner. She had chosen to give up cooking this year in light of trying to manage eight children ranging in age from infancy to a teenager, along with a new job as junior faculty at the university, but still wanted to retain the joy of hosting a meal for some of their closest friends, the Sharmas, along with her new grad students who far from home. She also invited Dr. Agatha Danbury and her son, Simon Hastings-Bassett.Mindful of the slightly unsettled feelings of her eldest son, she casually asked him if he would prefer to sit at a table with his younger twin brothers or his friends, Simon and Kate. Anthony shrugged and said either would be fine. Violet knew that as inscrutable as Anthony tried to be, his feelings for Kate were much stronger and more obvious than he let on, even if they were a bit jumbled at the moment, but she decided that with Simon there as a buffer, the middle school contingent might prefer not to be stuck with either of the adults or the little kids and so she took a chance and arranged the placecards to let the three of them sit at their very own table for the afternoon meal.Before the guests started arriving, Anthony went up to his room and pulled out a velvet box from his drawer. While they were in England that summer, his father had taken him on a tour of Aubrey Hall, the family’s ancestral home and seat of the Viscountcy. It was Edmund’s favorite place in the entire country, one of the few places where there was enough natural space for him to explore on his own and calm his mind when family squabbles and expectations got to be too much. Edmund was of a generation where parents didn’t hover, leaving him to hours of amusing himself during the summers before returning to the rigid confines of boarding school or family life in London. They were some of the best days of his life, leaving on his own around dawn and coming back at dusk, left almost completely to his own devices with no one to answer to. It was a reprieve and an escape from everything he didn’t like about growing up among the peerage, yet it was one of the most essential parts of his childhood and adolescence. He even managed to cobble together a treehouse one summer with some help and supplies from the kind local farmers and village handymen, who were quite fond of him. It had become a matter of pride among the villagers that the future Viscount wanted to create something with his own two hands that he could be proud of and they were only too happy to help the young lad who always showed up with a kind smile for their children and a solicitous nature whenever they needed a hand around town or on their properties.The treehouse was something that gave Edmund great joy to share with Anthony when they returned for a visit. Edmund also took Anthony to the Bridgerton vault to show him some of the pieces of jewelry and other antique items that belonged to their ancestors over 200 years ago. He even suggested that it might be nice to take a small gift back home for someone special. He watched as Anthony frowned and carefully inspected pieces of jewelry, seeing the indentation between his eyebrows deepen until his son’s eyes suddenly lit up when they landed on an antique silver bracelet with a pink sapphire feature and emerald accents. “It’s perfect!“ breathed Anthony with a big smile.Edmund looked at his son’s choice and had to agree that the colors immediately reminded him of Kathani’s favorite things—the color pink and flowers. Violet also approved of the choice and went into town the following day to find a nice velvet box to present it to her as they wrapped it carefully for the trip home.—-After all the guests had properly stuffed themselves with either the vegan or actual turkey and all the trimmings, everyone retired to their own corners of the Bridgerton home to enjoy the company, with Edwina and the younger Bridgertons led by Daphne heading to the family game room downstairs and commandeering Simon, an ace video game player, to be on their team, leaving Anthony and Kate alone in the breakfast nook where they had just enjoyed a pleasant semi-private lunch with Simon as they discussed classes and plans for the next semester and holidays. The Sharmas were going to take advantage of the upcoming monthlong break to visit family in India, while Simon and Dr. Danbury would head to his late mother Sarah’s hometown of Atlanta to spend Christmas with her side of the family.After Simon was pulled downstairs by an army of tiny Bridgertons, Anthony stood awkwardly in the entryway as Kate nervously chipped away at her navy nail polish. “So, Sharma,“ started Anthony. “Do you want to go to the library? My parents brought back some stuff from England. Some of them are really old and cool if you want to see them.”“Sure,” said Kate. Anthony had started calling her Sharma at some point this year. She didn’t know why, but it made her feel funny. Sometimes her PE teacher would call her Sharma. It was almost like Anthony was avoiding calling her Kate, but it made her feel like he was still keeping distance between them, even when it was just the two of them.Kate flopped down in one of the chairs in the comfortable, well appointed Bridgerton library. She noticed that there were some new items scattered around the room that hadn’t been there before. Anthony took her on a small tour explaining the significance and history behind some of the items including old vases. Kate pointed out that some of the items looked Indian and had probably been stolen during colonialism, which made Anthony freeze up and look embarrassed.“I’m sorry. I guess we didn’t get into that part of the history,“ he said quietly before stopping the tour. He grabbed the book from the shelf and sat down next to Kate.“I didn’t mean it as an insult, Anthony.“ said Kate. “My Nani told me that things like that happened all the time when the British occupied India hundreds of years ago, but also more recently during the Partition of India by the British when she was just a little girl. It’s just a different perspective to the same history.“Anthony nodded quietly, suddenly wondering if it was even OK to do what he was planning next, given this new information that had made him think about other items in the Bridgerton vault that might not honestly be theirs to give away. But then he had a brilliant idea, one he hoped would make what he planned to do a little less awkward. And now he had the perfect reason to do it. “Wait here a second,” he told Kate. “I’ll be right back.”Anthony rushed upstairs to his bedroom and grabbed the velvet box containing the pink sapphire bracelet from his drawer. Kate noticed that Anthony was a little flushed when he returned, probably from running up the stairs but also maybe something else. He looked a little nervous, but happy.“This is for you,” he said holding out the box for her. “I thought about giving it to you for Christmas, but I think it’s nice to give it to you now because it’s halfway between Diwali and Christmas and it’s from the Bridgerton vault in England. I know it doesn’t make up for what was probably taken from your family all those years ago, but when I saw it, it made me think of you. I hope you like it.”Kate was speechless. Anthony’s words had come tumbling out so rapidly she only caught a few snatches of what he said, but something about him giving her a really important gift that sounded like it was very old and special if it came from the Bridgerton vault all the way in England.“Are you sure?“ she asked. “It sounds like a family heirloom. Don’t those need to stay in the family?““It’s fine,” he said. “My parents said I could. My dad took me there specially. My mom even got a new box so I could give it to you.”Kate was stunned. She didn’t know that Edmund and Violet were a part of this, too. It still seemed like too much. She tried to refuse again, but Anthony looked like he was starting to get flustered, like he was trying not to get upset at her for refusing to take the box.“Kate…Kathani,” entreated Anthony as he looked directly at her. “Please take it. Please. I want you to. I mean, we want you to. It’s a gift from all of us,” he stumbled.It had been a long time since Kate had heard Anthony call her by her Kate, much less Kathani, her real first name. He looked so hopeful and earnest in that moment. She knew she couldn’t refuse a family gift.“Ok, Anthony,” she said quietly as she took the box from him. “Thank you.”Anthony’s face broke into a smile. “You can open it now if you like.”Kate sat down mostly because she suddenly felt a bit unsteady and with trembling fingers she undid the bottle green velvet ribbon that matched the square velvet box. Anthony perched on the sofa arm next to her as he watched Kate’s face intently while she lifted the top of the box and gasped when she saw the sparkling bracelet with pink and green gemstones in front of her.“It’s beautiful,” Kate said, reaching in to lift the breathtaking piece out of its box to admire it.“It reminded me of you,“ said Anthony. “It made me think of your sparkly pink glasses that you were wearing when we first met. I know you love flowers and it kind of has a floral pattern in the silver filigree work, plus the emeralds look like leaves on the flowers.”Kate balked. “It’s too much…” she started.“No.” Anthony said firmly. “It’s not. It’s for you. It even looks like it was made for you despite the fact that it’s at least 200 years old. My mom took it to the jeweler so they could clean it and make sure that it was reinforced. It’s still delicate, but now it’s strong enough to be worn without totally falling apart.”“I don’t know what to say,” said Kate. “But thank you. I will treasure it. Always.”“Do you want to put it on,” asked Anthony.“I’d love to,” said Kate, looking for the clasp.“Allow me,” said Anthony, expertly unclasping the antique closure, slipping it on Kate’s right wrist and refastening it, then stepping away slightly to admire the bracelet before raising his eyes to meet Kate’s, all the while gently keeping hold of her wrist with both of his hands.Kate met Anthony’s eyes and before she could consider what she was doing, she leaned forward to press her lips against his. She felt him stiffen for a split second before she felt his hands move from her wrist to cradle both sides of her face as he softened his lips against hers and shifted their faces sideways so he could kiss her more fully as her hands encircled his back, feeling the bracelet catch slightly on his fuzzy navy sweater.They broke apart when they heard Violet’s voice distantly in the hallway calling everyone in for a second round of dessert, but stood for what seemed like an eternity staring at each other, faced flushed, his glasses fogged up and both of them breathing heavily.Kate broke the silence first. “Um, we better go,” she said dropping her gaze and keeping her eyes trained on the floor.Anthony wiped his mouth off. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “After you.”On the way back to the kitchen, Kate tried to calm her thoughts. She had kissed Anthony and he had kissed her back. He had given her a gift that was probably priceless, but that he had chosen especially for her because it reminded him of her and he knew she would like the colors and the floral motifs. She thought about how she had spent the summer worrying that Anthony thought she was “too much” or “too different” to be considered girlfriend material, how he would have probably picked someone who looked like Cressida or Siena as his girlfriend, but he hadn’t done that. He was in England thinking of her, picking out a gift for her, now giving it to her and kissing her in his house. She thought about how much she cared for him.She knew for sure that she like-liked him, but she also cared for him and his well-being and that’s why she ultimately couldn’t let this go any further. She had to protect both of them from Jack, but she couldn’t tell him that. For right now, she just wanted to bask in the glow of the moment, of the tingling that she could still feel from Anthony’s lips on hers and the fact that Anthony had slipped his hand into hers on the way back in.Kate was glad that her first real kiss was with someone she liked, not part of some meaningless game with someone who behaved like an awful person. She was glad it was with someone who was sweet and kind who she felt safe and comfortable with and who wanted to do it as much as she did. She was glad it was on their own terms. She was glad that her first kiss was with Anthony Bridgerton.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
SIX MONTHS AFTER THE FIRST KISS
(End of year dance-8th grade)“Anthony, wait!” called Kate.Anthony stopped for a fraction of a second upon hearing her voice, squeezed his eyes shut to clear his head and quickened his pace, hoping to reach the exit doors before she caught up with him, but he was no match for Kate’s athleticism and long legs which reached him seconds later.“It was a misunderstanding, Anthony. I didn’t even mean what I said,” said Kate as her long fingers closed around the friendship bracelet with fragrant sandalwood beads that she had made especially for Anthony in India.He paused again for a moment to look at her with contempt—and hurt, Kate could tell—flashing in his eyes and his jaw clenching furiously before responding “I don’t even know what you mean anymore or who you are. We’re done, KATE!” he said emphasizing the last word.Anthony jerked his left wrist out of her grip, breaking the bracelet threads and sending the beads clattering to the floor and rolling off in all directions away from a stunned Kate who he left to clean up the mess as he hopped into his mom’s waiting van.—-AFTER THE KISS BUT BEFORE THE 8TH GRADE DANCE
(middle of school year through the last semester of 8th grade)So much had changed during the second half of eighth grade.Kate and Anthony continued to assiduously limit any interaction and communication during school hours or when they were in their respective friend groups, but comfortably reunited during Sharma-Bridgerton only gatherings, mostly sharing shy smiles, telling jokes to each other and if the coast was clear, holding hands with their fingers intertwined with each other.On one such Sharma movie night, the two families watched the Disney movie Spin about an Indian-Canadian girl who discovers her talent as a DJ and how it connects her to her late mother’s love of music and songwriting. After the lights had gone down in the family room, Anthony had gently reached for her hand, knowing that the subject matter might be emotional for Kate, who had recently returned from India where she had learned a lot more about her own beloved late Amma.Anthony used his other free hand to offer Kate popcorn, confident that in the dark, they could easily avoid his younger brothers’ teasing. Neither had been quite bold enough to kiss again after Thanksgiving, but they soon realized that movie nights gave them just enough privacy to spend time close to each other without setting off any parental or sibling alarm bells.Sometimes Kate would rest her head on Anthony’s shoulder and he would gently nuzzle her hair with his nose, doing a poor job of concealing his deep inhale and the happy sigh that usually accompanied the move. Kate often had to stifle a laugh at her friend’s—well, more like secret boyfriend, she admitted to herself—newfound predilection for jasmine flowers.As it turned out, had Anthony became quite enamored, even intoxicated, the first time he smelled the full, authentic jasmine scent on her noting that it was a little different from before. The first time she caught him inhaling, Anthony turned red and apologized, “Um, sorry, Sharma. I didn’t mean to sniff you like that, but it’s beautiful. It’s different from before. What is it?”Kate explained that before she left for India, she had used a shampoo that made her hair smell of lilies, but that the special salwar kurta she had worn to the Bridgerton Thanksgiving had been stored in an old suitcase with items from India and had absorbed the years-old scent of jasmine and sandalwood from the other items in it, so it was a mix of all the scents she associated with India and the US.In the month she and her family had spent with relatives in it, she had learned so more about her Amma as well as her heritage. Every morning, her aunties, nanny, Mary, Edwina and her would have the lovely benefit of bundles of fresh jasmine flowers clipped into their hair. She also learned that jasmine blossoms were what her mother always wore in her hair, with long strands woven into her waist-length braid. The jasmine flowers made Kate feel close to her Amma, who she could otherwise barely remember. Since then, she couldn’t get the beautiful scent out of her mind and upon arriving home, she begged Appa to get her the special jasmine scented shampoo and soaps that could only be found at the local Indian store.Her aunties and Nani were also kind enough to send her home with a special bottle of authentic rose and jasmine perfume so she would always have memories of her time with them and so she could remember the garden her mother would tend in their yard when she was alive.While she was in India, she picked out two special gifts for Anthony. One was a friendship bracelet that she made herself thanks to one auntie’s tutelage. It had colorful threads woven together and a few sandalwood beads strung on it. She also gave Anthony an intricately carved sandalwood pen. She had chosen both items because they were unique to her heritage and very personal in that one was made by her own hands. Kate knew how much Anthony loved learning about, eating and enjoying all things Indian. She suspected that most of that was because he spent so much time with her and her family growing up and that it was almost second nature to absorb a large part of their culture, so she thought he might especially enjoy the scent of sandalwood, which was deep and unique.When she gave him the gift after returning from the holiday break in January, she explained to him that if the smell ever seemed to dull, he could rub fine-grained sandpaper over the wood to freshen and release the scent again or he could daub it with the accompanying sandalwood cologne that she also gave him, something that her Nani told her was very popular among men in India, even if her father was never much of a cologne wearer. Anthony had murmured “I love it,” and given Kate a quick kiss on the cheek as a thank you, forgetting that they were in full view of all of their parents and siblings, but the gesture had made Kate feel warm all over.Anthony’s innocent thank you kiss, however, had in fact triggered the parental alarms on both sides and Kate had to endure a long but mandatory talk from her parents about respect, consent, boundaries and “big feelings“ that they said would likely get stronger as she got older. It was the most embarrassing lecture she had ever had to sit through and being physicians, the Sharmas had also opted to include visual aids.However, that was apparently nothing compared to the two-on-one talk Edmund and Violet gave Anthony which Kate never did learn the details of, but managed to overhear all about Anthony’s very memorable reaction thanks to Violet and Mary giggling over the speakerphone one night when Rakesh and Edwina were out, barely able to catch their breath as Violet described Anthony screwing his eyes shut, putting his hands over both ears and screaming:“I already know how babies are made!
I’ve known since I was 12 and it’s DISGUSTING!
I would never do that to Kate!
NEVER!
I can’t believe you did it EIGHT times!”According to Violet, Anthony had then run out of the room in absolute horror, Edmund had taken two aspirins and she had gone to lie down with a warm compress over her eyes, deciding they had traumatized their eldest son (and themselves ) enough and tried to avoid the reality of having to do some version of this talk seven additional times in the future. For his part, Anthony had refused to leave his room until the next morning when he was forced to go to school.Simultaneously, Kate felt her friend group shifting again in the wake of Pru Featherington‘s party. She found herself pulling away from the dance squad girls even though she remained a member of the team. She had eventually been able to tell Mary and Rakesh the whole story of what happened at the party that night. Both her parents told her that they were very proud of her for standing up for herself even when it was very hard to do in front of the other students. They told her how glad they were that she implemented their emergency plan and they wanted her to know that no matter what happened in the future, that was something she could always do to stay safe.Mary also called coach Featherington to let her know that she was unhappy that there was minimal to no adult supervision at the party. She did forbid Kate from going to any more parties at the Featherington home and asked if she wanted to quit the dance squad as she had lost all faith in the Coach to provide anything resembling responsible adult supervision to middle school kids. Kate worried that she would be considered a quitter, but Mary ask her how much she really enjoyed the dance squad, the people she was with and if the benefits really outweighed the risks.Kate loved to dance in general, but she realized that the dance squad wasn’t actually that much fun. it took up a lot of her time, which meant that she couldn’t do other things that she used to enjoy, including spending time with Gen and Tom. She had joined mostly because Siena had invited her and she had been very lonely that summer. She had been scared about what 8th grade would bring and grateful to have a group of friends around her especially following the incident in seventh grade. It was a time when she hadn’t even been sure she and Anthony were friends anymore, so she had grabbed on to the first bit of security and kindness that she could find in that void.She also thought about how her leaving the squad might affect fellow dance team members. she liked sienna and some of the other girls, but she had to admit that it didn’t seem like they had too much in common, or maybe it was just that their whole world had only revolved around the dance squad and she hadn’t gotten to know them very well outside it. There were some girls who she would rather avoid on the squad, but Rakesh and Mary both told her that if it was something she enjoyed doing, she should not let a couple of people stand in her way. also realized that when December ended, they would hold mid-year tryouts and so it wouldn’t be like she was leaving them in the lurch. They could easily refill her position. Ultimately, Kate decided that she would finish December on the squad, especially since there wasn’t much to do and the season was winding down, but that she would resign and keep next semester free to explore other interests.Mary was kind enough to contact Coach Featherington on Kate’s behalf to let her know that Kate would not rejoin the squad in January, but would complete any obligations before the winter holiday started. Even so, Kate felt that it was her responsibility to tell the girls on the squad, especially Siena. Kate texted Siena to see if she was free to meet for lunch at the mall food court on Saturday. she didn’t hear back until the next day, but Siena agreed to meet her.Kate noticed that Siena seemed apprehensive as she approached her table at the mall. The girls ordered some food at Panda Express and sat down. Siena was uncharacteristically quiet, so Kate broke the ice by thanking her for meeting her and dove right in.“I know things have been a little weird since the party,” Kate said. “I also wanted to let you know that I’m quitting the dance squad next semester, but I really enjoyed being your friend and I wanted to thank you for everything. I…I hope we can still be friends.”“I mean, sure, Kate,” said Siena, still looking unsure. “But if you aren’t on the squad, we probably won’t see each other much. I’m going to miss you though.”“Yeah,” Kate said, feeling a little disappointed by Siena’s reply. “Me, too.”An uncomfortable silence lingered between the two girls as they sipped their soda.Kate once again broke the silence by asking a question that had been on her mind since she had first met Siena. She figured she might not have the chance to ask again and it was something that had bothered her. “I was thinking about how you told me that you wanted to be friends with me to help, after Jack and Darnell got into that fight with Anthony in seventh grade. But why did you think I needed help and not them or even Anthony for that matter?”Siena was quiet for a moment before she shrugged. ”I don’t think I ever told you this, but the whole reason I moved here is because my parents got divorced. My dad cheated on my mom with Cindy Lee. She’s a lot younger than my mom and she’s really pretty. Now they have a baby and my mom just didn’t want to be in the same city where she would probably run into them again, so my sisters and I came with her. We didn’t want her to be lonely. She keeps telling us that men her age want to date women who are 10 or 20 years younger than she is and I think she’s kind of given up.“Siena wiped tears from her eyes as she continued. “My sisters both have a lot of dating experience and they told me that guys are really into certain things. If you don’t take care of how you look, you won’t find a good guy or he won’t stay with you if you stop caring.“I heard about what Jack sent to you and it was really mean, but I also thought that you probably don’t have a mom or big sisters who can tell you what you need to do to look pretty so guys won’t say things like that about you. I thought it would help if I showed you how, since you aren’t American,” Siena finished.Kate wasn’t sure how to respond. She knew that Siana was very sweet and that she meant well, but there were an off a lot of assumptions“Besides,“ Siena said. “Jack said Anthony was weird. You probably deserve better than that.““Anthony isn’t weird! Jack is a jerk! I don’t even want to go near him.“ Kate snapped, immediately feeling protective over Anthony being insulted by people who didn’t even know him.“Well, I don’t think it’s fair to judge Jack.” Sienna said.“Even if it is judging Jack, it’s making a choice to be safe. You don’t have to put yourself in situations where people treat you badly or you put yourself in danger, started Kate.“Besides, Jack is literally judging Anthony and it’s not even true. I’ve known Anthony since kindergarten. He isn’t weird. He’s wonderful and he’s been my best friend for a long time. It’s because of Jack and that fight that we don’t hang out around school anymore. I’m afraid Jack will do something to him or me because you said he gets jealous and angry, and I didn’t want him to go after either one of us again. He’s awful to everyone. Why do you keep defending him?”Siena looked down for a long time before responding. “Jack is the first guy who kissed me. He was my first boyfriend. Everything had fallen apart with my family and he made me feel special and loved,” she said.“After we had been together for a little while, he wanted to do more than kiss. I was OK with some of it, because my sisters told me what to expect from their boyfriends, but I didn’t want to do all of it. I told him to keep it a secret. I know he loved me because he told me he did, so I trusted him, but then he wanted to do even more and I wasn’t ready for that, so I stopped him,” Siena continued.“He got really mad and then he started a rumor around school saying that I was easy and that I did a bunch of things that I didn’t. People were mean to me for weeks. It was awful. Even Cressida believed him and she didn’t talk to me either, but Jack told me that unless I kept my mouth shut, he’d say something even worse.“He wanted me to be his girlfriend again, so I agreed, but then after the fight last year, he started noticing you and he wanted you to be his girlfriend. I was kind of jealous of you because he didn’t care about me anymore, but I was also happy that he wouldn’t keep spreading rumors about me. Anyway, I know what Jack likes and I thought that if you made yourself prettier, he would leave me alone…“And maybe if you looked like you were in his league, he’d be nicer to you, too, like my dad is to Cindy Lee,” Siena finished.Kate was stunned. That was a lot to take in. As much as she wanted to immediately jump in to correct Siena‘s wrong assumptions about SO many things, she felt that right now, Siena needed a friend, so she reached out and squeezed her hand. Siena looked up and smiled through her tears.“Siena, I’m so sorry that happened. All of it. I’m sorry about your family and Jack and the rumors and people not talking to you because of those lies he told,” Kate said. “But you do realize that NONE of what you told me is your fault right? Jack is an awful person. That has nothing to do with you. He lied about you and tried to slut shame you. That’s on him.”Siena shrugged.Kate continued “I don’t think that means you have to try to make him happy or to try to change other people so that he won’t bother them. Jack is the problem, not you or anybody else. Not Anthony. Not me either, no matter what Jack says.”“If anything, I think Jack is not a good enough boyfriend for you. There are a lot of nice boys in the school. I know that because some of them are my friends, not necessarily boyfriends,” Kate added hastily. “Maybe if you knew them better, as a friend, you would see that you don’t have to stick around with a bad guy like Jack.Siena smiled again.“I just keep thinking about how scared I am if he does anything that makes people avoid me again. I don’t want to have to move again or try to make all new friends just because nobody else will talk to me. It’s not fair what happened. My dad cheated on my mom, but she’s the one who had to change her whole life, not him. She’s still sad about it and she has to take care of three kids all by herself, but he still lives in our old house with his new wife and new baby. And with Jack, people were mean to me, but no one was mean to Jack. His friends thought it was cool. No one iced him out.” Sienna added.“You’re right. None of that is fair to you, your mom or anyone. I’m so sorry” said Kate. “But, you know, something similar happened when Jack said terrible things to Anthony and me, but nobody tried to change Jack for the better except for suspending him. You only tried to change me.“Kate took a deep breath. There was more she needed to say and she was happy that Siena had come to some conclusions on her own. She thought that Siena was ready to hear the next part of what she said.“Listen, I don’t want you to feel bad. I know you just told me a lot of really hard personal stuff and I want you to know that I am here for you, to be your friend and support you,“ said Kate.“But I have to tell you that I I don’t think you know me or my family very well. I was born in India, but I’m an American. I’ve lived here since I was three years old. My stepmother Mary was raised in Britain, just like Anthony’s parents.“Nobody ever looks at Anthony and assumes he’s from a foreign country even though he is. Nobody tells him that he’s not American enough, but they assume that I am the one who’s new here and I don’t know anything about how all this works even though I’ve lived here longer than he has,” Kate continued.“I know that you wanted to be nice and make me look pretty, but looking pretty doesn’t just mean looking just one way, whether it’s like you or Cressida. There are lots of kinds of pretty. Mary knows all about that beauty stuff. She just didn’t want me to feel like I needed to wax and shave and straighten my hair just to make a boy notice me or like me,” Kate said before taking a big breath she didn’t realize she needed.“I never meant that you weren’t pretty,“ said Siena quickly. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I really just wanted to help.”“I know,” said Kate. “And you weren’t completely wrong. People at school did pay a lot more attention to me after the makeover, especially some boys. I loved doing the nail polish and it was fun trading clothes to try out new stuff. I know you were just being nice and that was sweet of you to want to help, but I didn’t even feel like myself for a while. I don’t really know exactly what I want to look like now or in the future, but I don’t want other people to decide that for me.”Siena nodded. “I get it. I’m still sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel less pretty or less American or try to change who you were. Anyway, I’m glad we can still be friends.“The girls finished up their lunch and hugged each other before heading home.Kate didn’t know it at the time, but things were going to change even more before the end of 8th grade and the friendship she cherished most would be the one that suffered the most damage.—-8TH GRADE PE CLASS
(Last two weeks of 8th grade, before the dance)“Everyone line up on opposite sides of the gym!” ordered Mrs. Goring. “Boys on the right, girls on the left.”They were starting the partners dancing unit in PE, which meant that multiple forms of dance, from square dancing to waltzes would be covered in this unit, that was intentionally placed at the end of the school year to prepare eighth graders for the big end of school dance. decades of past experience had taught the PE teachers that having students pick their own partners inevitably ended in drama and that multiple students felt left out, especially when there was an odd number, so they had come up with a much more fair if somewhat militaristic way of pairing up students for the dances. They did allow for students to sit out if they chose, which made Kate breathe a sigh of relief, if she were ever to be partnered with Jack Featherington, who continued to leer at the girls’ side.As the boys and girls PE teachers paired up the couples starting from their respective sides, Kate started to pay more attention to the boys’ side as she got closer to the end. She did a quick count as she glanced over to the boys side and realized that she was about to end up with Anthony as her partner, which made her smile in spite of the no interaction rule the two always followed at school. She had always wondered what might have happened if she and Anthony had not been banned from the dance last year. besides, no one could get mad or jealous of them dancing together since they were literally being forced together by a system that the teachers have decided on, not them. Anthony had told her that during his summer in England, they had attended some balls and he had enjoyed watching the grownups move through intricately choreographed dances. He promised that the next time they had a movie night with the right music, he would teach her a few steps. She saw Anthony‘s mouth curve upwards as he the same calculation from the other side of the gym and he caught her smiling directly at him.But suddenly, Kate felt an ice cold hand grip her forearm and she turned to see Siena looking pale. Siena was right behind her and unfortunately, the person behind Anthony was Jack Featherington. “You can just sit this one out,” whispered Kate. “You don’t have to dance with him. It’s in the rules.”“I can’t refuse,“ hissed Siena. “If he gets mad at me, he’ll spread even worse rumors. I can’t deal with that again.“Siena was almost crying now. Kate knew that her friend did not have the strength to step away and risk Jack’s fury, but she had done it once before and she could do it again. Kate thought fast and quickly switched places with Siena right before they reached the end. Mrs. Goring quirked an eyebrow at her, but let it go as she called out “Rosso” while Mr. Hardy called out “Bridgerton.”Anthony looked crestfallen, but Kate saw him politely smile and hold his hand out to Siena whose whole face lit up in relief and happiness as he led her to the center of the gymnasium. She saw Anthony look back at her with a confused look on his face after her name was called out with Jack’s and she loudly said “I’m sitting out today” and took her place on the bleachers with a few other students as far away from Featherington and his furious glare as she possibly could.Kate breathed a sigh of relief. She was disappointed that she and Anthony wouldn’t get a chance to dance, but the risk was too high with Jack Featherington right there. More importantly, she knew that Jack had threatened Siena and after everything Siena had told her, she couldn’t let her face him again.Kate enjoyed watching the steps that the other students learned. Today, they were learning a simple two-step. She could not help but let her eyes drift over to Anthony and Siena, who actually seemed to be having a good time. They were talking and laughing during the dance. Siena seemed to be very relaxed, as if Jack were a long forgotten memory.It was good for Siena to get a chance to dance with a nice boy like Anthony, thought Kate. Kate could see that he was being the perfect gentleman, smiling and engaging with Siena while also being very respectful and keeping his hands in the appropriate places, something Kate observed was most definitely NOT happening with all of the other couples. She noticed Cordelia Patridge sharply jab her elbow into Brian Fife’s forearm after his wandering left hand worked its way upward from her waist. Fife stifled a pained groan and continued dancing, chastened, but as if nothing had happened.After PE, Anthony caught up with Kate as she walked toward the school bus. “I know what you did back there. That was nice, what you did for Siena,” he said quietly, falling into step beside her.“It’s no big deal. Featherington‘s been awful to her, but I can’t tell you what exactly happened,” she said.Anthony nodded in understanding. Then he grinned devilishly as he continued to walk alongside her at a respectable distance, keeping his head facing straight in front of him but giving her a sidelong glance as he whispered “Don’t think this gets you out of learning the waltz on movie night this weekend.“Kate grinned, also resolutely facing forward but watching Anthony out of the sides of her eyes, before shyly dropping her eyes to the ground. “Counting on it,” she replied as she hugged her books closer.—-The last two weeks of school passed in a flash. Kate was starting to feel more like her usual confident, happy self after a tumultuous year of change and growth.She thought of all that she had learned about her mother from her relatives in India, the memories she made walking through the same garden that her Amma once tended, seeing the sights her Amma had and hugging the people who she had hugged and loved in her life seemed to connect Kate to her mother in a new and more tangible way than before, like there was something she could hold onto that wasn’t just a whisp of a secondhand memory that belonged to someone else.She thought about how even after avoiding her best friend in the world for an entire year, they still found ways to connect to each other and thought about each other even when they were an ocean apart. She thought about how she had already faced down Jack Featherington twice and how she had told Siena not to be afraid of him. It was time for her to stop being afraid of him too. Who cares what he thought or said or did. Kate knew that she was stronger now than she had been a year ago. She also had good friends who would help her stand up to him if needed and she knew that she could help others stand up to him as well.She thought about how much fun it was to try to learn how to waltz with Anthony in her parents kitchen during Sharma movie night as Edmund and Mary demonstrated and coached them while Violet recorded it all with the methodical nature of a documentary filmmaker on her phone as the younger kids and Rakesh enjoyed Bride and Prejudice in the family room, often jumping up to dance themselves with Rakesh showing them traditional Indian moves.Anthony and Kate giggled uncontrollably as they slipped around the floor with Anthony in his favorite baseball hat, dark t-shirt, sweatpants and white cotton sports socks while Kate was in cropped spandex leggings and crop top from dance squad and bare feet. The near constant giggles always stilled immediately and respectfully with the moves that required them to be close enough to essentially breathe the same air. They ended the dance lesson with a double high five before dropping their hands together and Anthony tentatively reaching forward with one arm around her waist to pull Kate into a hug, waiting for her to respond. Kate grinned and threw both arms around Anthony’s neck, which he then followed as both of his arms enveloped Kate around her back.“So, I’ll see you at the dance, Sharma?” asked Anthony, whose face was beet red from both the exertion and his proximity to Kate as well as the scent of jasmine wafting off her.“I’ll see you there,” Kate replied happily.
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EIGHTH GRADE - END OF YEAR DANCEAnthony Bridgerton adjusted his navy Bridgerton blue tie and smoothed his crisp white dress shirt and tucked it neatly into his matching navy dress pants. At the last minute, he decided to abandon the matching jacket because it was too hot for one that evening. He combed his hair back, hoping it wouldn’t flop onto his forehead too much, knowing that of course it would unless he acceded to his mother’s insistence on him getting a haircut, which was not happening! Too late for a haircut now, he shrugged. He sprayed his glasses with lens cleaner and polished them thoroughly until they shone and popped them back on, careful not to smudge the carefully cleaned lenses.As a finishing touch, he dabbed on a bit of the sandalwood cologne that Kate had brought him from India earlier that year and grinned at its companion gift, the sandalwood beaded friendship bracelet he always wore on his left wrist. He looked in the mirror one last time to make sure everything was right before bounding downstairs to the trusty Bridger-van on his way to the school dance where he would meet Kate and officially ask her to be his girlfriend.—-Meanwhile, Kate Sharma smoothed the sparkly silver-embroidered hot pink khameez top and its companion navy and silver silk salwar (pants). Her Nani had sent her a special outfit from India, intending for it to be a birthday gift for her 14th this summer, but soon after Kate’s second dance lesson with Anthony at movie night last week, she knew this was the outfit she was meant to wear at the end of year school dance. It would go perfectly with the Bridgerton vault bracelet Anthony had given her and Mary had given her special permission to wear for the dance with multiple warnings to be careful with the precious heirloom and not take it off for any reason whatsoever at the dance.Kate loved how each part of the outfit represented something important to her: the top was in her favorite color, hot pink; the navy salwar was a perfect shade of Bridgerton blue, Anthony’s favorite color; and the matching sheer navy dupatta (scarf) had silver embroidery with leaves and tulips on the edging that matched the bracelet and reminded Kate of the first gift, a tulip, Anthony had given her in kindergarten. It would be a total surprise for everyone at the dance. She could hardly contain her excitement.Even her last dance lesson with Anthony had been a full dress rehearsal with him wearing a jacket and tie and her wearing an old lilac bridesmaid’s dress of Mary’s that was cut in a Regency period style but had a sheer overlay with a nod to the design of an Indian sari. Mary had the dress altered for length and to make the neckline better suited for a 13 year old girl, which Kate had originally planned to wear for the dance, but as soon as she had opened Nani’s package after the Bridgertons left that evening, Kate knew that it was pure kismet that the perfect salwar khameez had arrived a full week and a half earlier than they had expected it.Kate decided to leave her hair down and unstraightened for the dance, in all its untamed, curly glory. It felt nice to be going to the dance fully as herself after a tumultuous year of trying to fit herself into boxes that were not really built for her. She was looking forward to the summer and the beginning of high school, a new adventure that she would navigate together with her best friends, especially the boy who she hoped would want to be more than friends. Kate bit her lower lip at the thought and quickly spritzed on her precious jasmine perfume from India which she saved for special occasions…and movie nights with the Bridgertons.Kate felt unburdened for the first time in so long, having learned earlier that day that Jack Featherington would not be at the dance due to another suspension. There were even rumors circulating that Coach Featherington had thrown up her hands at her inability to manage his behavior after having one too many concerns raised by parents to school administrators about his inappropriate behavior with other students, particularly girls. Jack would be sent to Berbrooke’s Military Academy for Young Men, a boarding school in a remote corner of the state. She knew that it likely would not change his habits, unless he and those around him really committed to changing for the better, but at least he wouldn’t have such easy access to harassing and hurting people like she and her friends Anthony and Siena or anyone else at school on a daily basis.—Anthony arrived at the dance before Kate and went over to join Simon and Tom who were already talking with Genevieve and Siena, as Cressida Cowper looked on sourly from nearby. Suddenly, Anthony heard Gen gasp and felt Simon elbow him and nod toward the entrance to the gym, which had been transformed with sparkly streamers and a disco ball which one of the teachers thought would be a fun retro touch.But Anthony felt his jaw literally drop as he caught sight of Kate, sparkling brighter and outshining any chintzy school decoration, standing at the door looking resplendent in a salwar khameez he had never seen her wear before. He was expecting to see her in the lilac dress she wore at last week’s dance lesson where they finally mastered the waltz together. She had looked beautiful as the gauzy material swirled around her, but what she was wearing now looked positively regal. Kate looked like a princess.He stared open mouthed at her for what seemed like an eternity until Kate turned her head towards the group, letting her loose natural curls float around her shoulders like a halo, finally catching a glimpse of Anthony and smiling broadly as she waved to him. Somehow, Anthony’s brain sent the appropriate message to his feet to walk in her direction and offer his arm to her, as any gentleman would, to lead her over to the group.“Wow!” breathed Anthony as he regained his bearings once they reached the group. “You look beautiful, Kathani.”Genevieve stifled a giggle at Anthony’s starstruck expression and his use of Kate’s given name as other students came over to admire Kate’s outfit and the fact that Anthony still had her arm tucked tightly in the crook of his elbow, eliciting more than one “awww” from the girls surrounding them and a bit of gentle ribbing from Simon.The mood was broken when Pru Featherington, who still hadn’t forgiven Kate for allegedly spoiling Spin the Bottle at her birthday, pushed forward for a better look and asked “Couldn’t you wear something normal?”Jinah Hallewell shot Pru a disgusted look as Gen stepped forward and said “I think it’s amazing. The jewel tones really compliment your complexion and I love the embroidery. The lines are perfect.”“You look absolutely gorgeous in it,” agreed Siena. “I loved all your outfits from India when you posted them on insta. Maybe I can try one sometime,” she added shyly.“Of course!” said Kate, beaming. “Gen’s been helping me customize some outfits using fabric we brought back from India a few months ago. You should come over sometime.”“Yeah!” said Gen. “I’m going to spend this summer setting up a whole fashion and accessory customizing business and put my designs up on insta. Kate’s even going to be my first model!”“Count me in! Your line sounds so cool, Gen, and you look stunning, Kate,” added Cordelia Patridge.Kate’s parents had allowed her to switch her instagram from private to public as she prepared to enter high school, but not without some trepidation. They would still have full access to her account to try to head off trouble, but they liked the idea of Kate and Genevieve independently pursuing a creative outlet they were both passionate about, connecting them to their respective heritages and learning business and life skills along the way, so they supported the girls’ endeavor as long as it was safe and did not take away from their schoolwork or health, including sleep.The girls around them spoke excitedly about the prospect of getting customized items made by Gen that incorporated beautiful silks and patterns from around the world, thanks to the girls’ supportive relatives in India and Jamaica. It was also notable that even with her instagram set at private, Kate’s growing popularity in 8th grade had transferred online with multiple requests from fellow students to follow her. The Sharmas set strict rules about timings of insta scrolling and posting, only allowing Kate to allow follows from other students she knew and trusted at school, though even Kate had to admit that the “trust” part was applied a bit lightly when it came to allowing follows from people like Pru, Brian Fife and Cressida, who was the one who insisted on insta accounts for the dance team in the first place.Ironically, Kate’s insta became even more popular after leaving the dance team in January, making Cressida very jealous, especially after a modeling scout saw Kate and Siena tagged in a group photo Cressida posted and commented that the two girls (but not Cressida) should contact their agency. Siena and her mom had contacted the agency right after determining they were legit, but the Sharmas held back.The girls discussed how Siena had already booked a real job modeling at the mall in a fashion show tomorrow that she would be paid for. She would even have the opportunity to keep the clothes afterwards which was really exciting for her as her mother was still struggling to keep their family afloat between two jobs and sometimes late child support checks from her father who insisted he was just overwhelmed with his new wife and baby.Siena invited Gen and Kate to come to the mall with her to watch the fashion show. It might give Gen a chance to show off some of her custom work to local shops and Siena confided that the agent was still quite interested in meeting Kate and her parents to talk.Overhearing the whole exchange, Cressida’s anger and jealousy got the better of her and she cut in with a snide “I guess if you like ETHNIC stuff,” before turning on her heel and leaving in a jealous huff before anyone else could respond.Anthony squeezed Kate’s arm and looked over at her with concern, but Kate remained unbothered.“Some people never change,” Kate said with a shrug as Gen rolled her eyes and muttered “Haters gonna hate” at Cressida’s retreating back as the three girls went back to animatedly making plans to attend Siena’s fashion show the next day.But it had not escaped Genevieve’s notice that Anthony was still frowning over the interaction and his forehead crease showed no sign of smoothing out. She saw the tenderness and worry with which Anthony was still looking at Kate, knowing that he had worn his heart on his sleeve for as long as she had known him all the way back in kindergarten, especially when it came to his best friend.“Hey, Sie,” Gen said. “Let’s grab some punch and talk details” as she grabbed Siena’s arm and hustled her away from the couple.Gen threw a meaningful look toward Kate and Anthony over her shoulder and said, “I’ll leave you to it.”Kate and Anthony simultaneously exhaled and then turned to each other giggling at their identical reactions. “Does that count as a jinx?” asked Kate with a smile. “Because then you owe me a soda,” she teased.Anthony smiled back, about to offer to get Kate some lemonade from the refreshment table, knowing she didn’t like the aftertaste of the punch the school always served. But just then the first notes of the next song filled the gymnasium. It was a song that Anthony knew very well thanks to his parents’ proclivity for 80’s music from their youth and their somewhat unconventional way of celebrating their wedding anniversary with a brood of eight rambunctious children.Suddenly, Anthony felt a rush of confidence. It was now or never. He gently removed Kate’s arm from his and turned his full body to face her to deploy his most charming smile. “What if I owed you a dance instead? Would you join me now, Miss Sharma?” he asked holding his palm upturned toward her.Kate’s eyes widened as she felt a jolt go up her spine. Something tingled in every one of her nerve endings from the way Anthony was smiling at her and how he addressed her so formally, but with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Was he actually flirting with her? This was new. It felt…different, but nice, very nice. Thrilling even.Kate wasn’t sure exactly how long she stood still, just taking in the moment, but Anthony didn’t seem anxious or perturbed in the least. There was a degree of self-assuredness in him this evening, bordering on cockiness, but without any arrogance, that she had never seen in him before. He was still smiling at her with his hand outstretched, eyes as warm and genuine as ever, waiting for her to take the next step and say yes in her own time.Without saying word, Kate put her hand in Anthony’s and felt his fingers close around hers as they walked to the center of the gymnasium together. As they made their way, Anthony explained that this song was a classic and a family favorite from the British band Dire Straits, meant to honor the buskers around London who played music in the streets, in the Tube, anywhere they could get a break and earn some money for their talent. His parents had loved it since their own childhoods and had played it at their wedding.Even now, every year, they would play it for their anniversary dinner at home and all 10 Bridgertons would dance to it until the kids collapsed, completely spent, and Violet and Edmund put them all to bed for them to sleep quite soundly, lost to the world, until the next morning when a very refreshed group of 8 youngsters would find their parents at breakfast whispering quietly and giggling to each other, sharing secret smiles and looks meant only for each other.As they walked together, Kate noticed the song building and speeding up. “This isn’t a waltz, Anthony,” she said, worried that she wouldn’t know what to do. “How do we…” she trailed off.“Just take your cues from the music, Sharma, and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks,” whispered Anthony. “You can follow my lead if you want, or do your own thing. Remember, it’s fun!” he grinned.“Here comes Jonny,
Gonna tell you a story”The lyrics to “Walk of Life” boomed through the sound system surrounding the gym as Anthony took both of Kate’s outstretched hands and gently tugged them back and forth in alternating fashion as his hips swayed in time, twisting and giggling, making up his own moves. She laughed and slowly let herself go, allowing herself to match Anthony’s movements.“He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah, the boy can play”Anthony let go of both of Kate’s hands and grabbed her right hand with his right, pulling her close toward his side so their hips slid just past each other before snapping back away from each other, straightening their arms and hanging on tightly by their fingers.“Dedication, Devotion
Turning all the nighttime into the day”Anthony pulled Kate close again and expertly did a twirl under their arms, pulling away again and indicating that she should do the twirl when he pulled her close again, which she executed perfectly.“He do the song about the sweet loving woman”Anthony pulled them together, facing each other, with both hands grasped in the other’s and Kate grinned as she took the lead and they did a simultaneous double twirl under their arched arms together as the song faded out with:“Hmmm, they do the walk of life.”Applause broke out around them from other students who had formed a circle around them to cheer them on along with the teachers and parents chaperoning the dance. Kate could hear a few hoots and hollers that she recognized as coming from Simon and Tom while she heard Siena cheer “Go Kate!” along with a whoop from Gen.Anthony was out of breath and his face was flushed from the exertion, but he was having the time of his life and could not contain the wide open smile on his face directed solely at Kate.“That,” Anthony panted. “Was amazing!”Kate was still catching her breath, but she kept a tight handhold with Anthony and she knew without looking that her expression matched his. It was nice seeing Anthony carefree and confident. He had some real talent, but more importantly, he just seemed happy and comfortable, just like she was.The next song, a slow one, started up. Anthony looked at Kate with a quirked eyebrow, silently asking if she wanted to dance again or sit this one out. Kate realized she hadn’t said a word since they got to the dance floor, so she looked Anthony straight in the eye and asked, “Mr. Bridgerton,” seeing his lips quirk upward at the formal tone and address, “May I have this dance?”“Of course, my lady,” Anthony whispered quietly in her ear as he placed both hands on her waist and she interlocked her fingers behind his neck as they pulled close together again, with Kate’s head just above Anthony’s shoulder. He still hadn’t caught up with her in height, but neither of them cared.Cyndi Lauper’s soft ballad “Time After Time” filled the gym:“Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you”“Someone really likes the 80’s,” Kate murmured, causing Anthony to giggle, which of course made her giggle too because that is just how they were connected, always, even when apart.“Confusion is nothing new”“So, I wanted to ask you something,” started Anthony.“Flashback, warm nights, almost left behind”“Sure. What is it Anthony?” said Kate.“Suitcase of memories,
Time after sometimes…”“Our band—Tom, Will, Simon and I—are going to do our first performance together once they finish building the pool in our backyard. It will probably be sometime next week to kick off summer, so we’re looking at Friday night to invite everyone over.” explained Anthony.“…you picture me,
I’m walking too far ahead.”“Sounds fun,” said Kate.“You're calling to me,
I can't hear
What you've said”“Umm…I would like to ask you if you would like to be my date…as my girlfriend” Anthony stammered slightly.“Then you say, "go slow"
I fall behind”Kate felt tears spring up in her eyes and couldn’t speak, but she squeezed Anthony tighter.“The second hand unwinds.”“Kathani?” asked Anthony gently, pulling away slightly so he could see her face. “Are you OK?”Kate nodded vigorously and smiled, knowing if she spoke out loud, she would lose it because this moment felt overwhelming but in way that reminded her of happiness, easy companionship and complete comfort that she didn’t realize she had missed so much this year. Anthony’s face softened, the forehead crease receding as he removed one arm from her waist to wipe her tears away with his thumb and gave her a tender smile.“If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time”“You had me worried there for a moment,” Anthony said quietly, making Kate laugh through her tears.“Yes, Anthony,” Kate finally replied. “I would love to be your date. And your girlfriend.”Anthony pulled her close again and tilted his head slightly upward to give her a kiss on her cheek as Kate lowered her head to his shoulder and he buried his face in her voluminous hair, breathing in deeply and sighing contentedly.—-After the slow dance, Anthony led Kate over to a quiet spot on the bleachers, a little away from the crowd and far away from the eyes and ears of their well-intentioned, excited, rubbernecking friends, but still under the watchful eye of the chaperones. The two of them sat with their heads close to each other, holding hands, just quietly recharging and allowing their emotions to settle a bit before venturing out again. Anthony asked if Kate was free tomorrow night to go to Dairy Queen with him, which is where all the high school students hung out during the summer. Kate agreed, but realized that would mean forgoing movie night. Anthony just smiled, once again Kate noticing the slightly cocky edge that she was seeing for the first time tonight, which she found surprisingly appealing. Kate raised her gaze from Anthony’s smile to his eyes and knew that as long as she could still see the sincerity in his eyes, he was still her sweet Anthony.“I might already have cleared some barriers in that regard,” he smirked.Kate narrowed her eyes at him. “You were that confident I would say yes?” she teased.Anthony remained undeterred as he shrugged and replied, “Let’s just say, I maintained an optimistic outlook after our dance lessons.”“Anthony Edmund Bridgerton…” began Kate, pretending to chide him, but unexpectedly finding shyness temporarily overwhelm her as she hid her face in her hands.Anthony grinned even more widely and nudged her shoulder with his. “What, Kathani Sharma?”“Sometimes you really vex me,” she finished.Anthony threw back his head and laughed out loud. “And what exactly do you think you do to me, huh?”They giggled together, finding their rhythm again, until Kate suddenly froze, her face blanching as she grabbed onto Anthony’s forearm.Kate: Do you think this means that our parents will give us The Talk again?Anthony (freezes): What do you know about The Talk?Kate: Well, I heard Mary and your mom talking about it after they saw you kiss me when we returned from India. She couldn’t stop laughing. I thought she was going to pass out.Anthony (turns scarlet): Oh my God. I never want to go through that again.Kate: At least you didn’t have to deal with visual aids, Anthony.Anthony (cracking up): Oh noooo…pictures or 3D models?Kate (shrieking): BOTH!Anthony (cannot stop laughing): From the clinic, I assume?Kate nodded as both of them giggled uncontrollably.Anthony: I will die if one of them slips a condom in my wallet. I still have the one they gave to all of us at the health fair after the banana demonstration. I wanted to throw it away, but then someone would SEE me throwing it away and somehow that would be way worse.Kate: You do know that bananas are one of only 6 vegan items at DQ. It would be put to good use on the date tomorrow night.Both of them collapsed again in laughter.Anthony: Well, Miss Sharma, no one can say we weren’t well prepared.Kate laughed so hard that she triggered a coughing fit, prompting Anthony to offer to get her some lemonade.But before leaving, he leaned over and softly whispered “When I get back, if you’re up for it, maybe we can grab another slow dance together…Kathani” and he smiled shyly as she nodded.—-After Anthony got up to get the lemonade, Kate allowed herself a moment to exhale and revel in the moment she was having. What she did not know was that the whole exchange between Anthony and her from both dances to the bleachers tête-à-tête was being watched like a hawk by Cressida who was seething with jealousy over the attention Kate had been receiving from everyone tonight, on instagram, everywhere at every possible moment and she was fed up. Cressida was not about to allow her launch into high school to be ruined yet again by Kate Sharma. She made her way over to Kate once she saw Kate was alone. Pru, Jinah and Fife closely followed Cressida as Siena looking slightly more uncomfortable trailed a bit father behind.In Cressida’s mind, Kate Sharma was the one who was getting everything that she, a descendant of the esteemed Cowper family (author’s note: I laughed so hard writing the “esteemed Cowper family” line), wanted and deserved. She was the one who had the idea for everyone to join Instagram. She hoped that she would get noticed and become a rich and famous influencer with tons of sponsorships, but who got the attention? Kate Sharma.Kate had hundreds of insta followers compared to Cressida‘s handful despite Kate having a private Instagram and Cressida’s being public. Kate Sharma had at least two boys interested in her, one who had given her a priceless family heirloom that Cressida thought probably belonged in a museum somewhere, but there it was on Kate Sharma‘s wrist as she traveled in India with a 💖😘 reply from @antbridge who only followed one account, @katshar, so she knew it was from Anthony Bridgerton. All Cressida wanted was a boyfriend who was handsome and would buy her gifts, but who had that? Kate Sharma.Ever since kindergarten, Kate Sharma had been a menace and a thorn in her side. Cressida was the one with the pedigree, the classic old Hollywood beauty, the old money parents who were a part of high society and a long line of descendants they could trace back to the Mayflower. Cressida was the one who should be born into popularity, but somehow Kate seemed to usurp her in every venue. Kate got better grades. Kate took the advanced classes. Kate was a better dancer. Boys liked Kate more. More girls wanted to be friends with Kate. Even Cressida’s best friend Siena seemed to prefer spending time with Kate of late. Kate got everything in real life and online. It wasn’t fair. None of it. Kate’s family just landed in this country and she got everything that Cressida‘s family had spent generations establishing as theirs. And now, everything Kate wore was what other kids wanted, too, and she was practically already a model and influencer. Kate didn’t even want that. Cressida couldn’t stand it anymore.What made it even worse is that Cressida clearly remembered Kate saying last summer that there was nothing between Anthony Bridgerton and herself. They completely ignored each other at school this past year, but suddenly they were canoodling at the dance and acting like they were joined at the hip like they had been all through elementary school, which was nauseating enough.Cressida thought that Anthony Bridgerton was a complete geek, and she had no romantic interest in him whatsoever, but he was connected to royalty in England in some roundabout way and if he was in a position to give anyone priceless antique jewelry, it should be to her. Not Kate Sharma. If anyone should be the girlfriend of the future viscount, it should be her. Not Kate Sharma.And Cressida was finally ready to do something about it.—-Cressida and her group came over to Kate and settled themselves in the bleachers around her, effectively trapping her in a circle. Kate immediately stiffened defensively.“So, Kate,” Cressida began in a simpering voice. “You and Anthony Bridgerton looked pretty cozy. I thought you said there wasn’t anything between the two of you.““Cressida, that’s none of your business,” Kate said firmly.“So you aren’t denying it?” she asked.“Leave us alone,” Kate said, looking downward and wishing Cressida and her minions would leave.“Us?” Cressida said. “So there is an ‘us?’”Brian Fife interrupted. “What do you even want in a guy, Kate? You’re just an ice queen, too cold to like anyone. You shot down Featherington all year and now he has to leave. You ignore Bridgerton and you won’t even give me the time of day. Do you think you’re too good for all of us?”Kate gasped. She did not think that at all and was shocked anyone would think something so completely false about her. From the corner of her eye she saw Gen, Tom and Simon making their way over to the group, looking concerned about the growing commotion, but she couldn’t see where Anthony was. Why was he taking so long?“It’s just a question,” said Cressida, suddenly getting an evil gleam in her eyes and raising her voice. “Answer it, Kate.”Kate was getting upset. It was true that she didn’t like Jack or Fife, but not because she thought she was too good for them. Jack was awful and everybody knew it. He was finally getting kicked out, not because of her, but because of multiple complaints from many different people. She didn’t quite trust Fife, either, especially since he seemed to be close to Jack and they had high-fived when Jack was supposed to kiss Kate at Pru’s party. She was already a little irritated after having to deal with Cressida this evening, so without thinking, Kate turned her growing anger on Fife.“You want to know what I look for in a guy, Fife?” Kate asked, holding up her fingers as she listed them. “One, he has to be sweet. Two, smart, at least half a brain. Three, cute. Four, fun.”Fife jumped in again with an oily smile, “That’s me! Right here, Kate. That just proves you’re a snob and an ice queen. No one will ever measure up to your standards.”Kate snapped at that moment and grabbed hold of the quickest, easiest and most damaging insult she could find to hurl at Fife “And number five is taller than me, so I guess you really don’t measure up, Fife!”The group around her howled as Fife finally shut up.Cressida positively crowed. “Ohhhhh, so that’s why you and Anthony aren’t together. He never measured up to your standards, literally! Are you embarrassed by him? Why else would you refuse to acknowledge that you’re together? I mean, you did tell a WHOLE room of girls at a sleepover that you didn’t have a crush on ANYONE and specifically told Siena that you didn’t like Anthony Bridgerton when she asked you.”“Cressie,” hissed Siena. “That was private!”“What? No.” said Kate, shaking her head, knowing that Cressida and Fife had twisted what she said and realizing with horror that they had a small audience now. “That was almost a year ago. This isn’t about Anthony at all! None of it.”Cressida’s eyes narrowed gleefully as she shifted slightly and pointed off to the side, revealing Anthony staring at her in stunned silence holding two cups of lemonade.“Oh, isn’t it?” Cressida asked as Kate’s stomach dropped.—-“Anthony…” started Kate.Anthony had heard everything, or maybe not everything, but definitely the very worst parts judging by the way his eyes were flashing with anger and his jaw was clenching rhythmically. He immediately turned toward Siena, offered her a cup of lemonade, forced a smile and asked her if she’d like to join him on the other side of the the dance floor. Siena shot a helpless look at Kate as Anthony steadfastly refused to make eye contact with Kate and the two of them made their way across the gymnasium while Kate was left dumbfounded as Cressida and her minions scattered as if their evil work was done.“What’s going on Kate?” asked Tom cautiously.“None of that sounded good,” said Simon in a low, guarded voice. “But it didn’t sound like you either.”“I need to go,” said Kate, tears already starting to stream down her face, rushing toward the girls locker room with Gen right behind her.—-Anthony’s mind was spinning. There had to be some mistake. Kate wasn’t like that. But he heard what Cressida said, what Cressida said that Siena said and finally what Kate said to Fife. Kate wasn’t that shallow or mean. But this whole year had messed with his mind, with everything he knew to be true and everything he thought about his best friend had changed. He didn’t know what to believe anymore.He didn’t realize he was ignoring Siena until he felt her shaking his shoulders on the dance floor. “Anthony, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to tell Cressida what Kate said about you.”Anthony’s heart broke a bit. There it was. Confirmation. Kate had said that she wasn’t interested in him. Even in PE, they were supposed to dance together, but Kate had pushed Siena forward to dance with him. He thought it was to protect Siena, but maybe it was to protect Kate. From him?He thought she liked him. She had kissed him. Everything that happened over the last semester, since Thanksgiving and especially the last couple of weeks, everything from tonight screamed that Kate liked him, but Anthony couldn’t get rid of the nagging doubt in the back of his mind that he wasn’t good enough for Kate, who was now beautiful, tall, popular, smart, special in every conceivable way and he was just plain, boring, geeky Anthony Bridgerton, desperately in love, desperate hanger on, sometimes just plain desperate.“Anthony!” Siena practically yelled. “Are you listening?”“Huh? I’m sorry, Siena,” he said.Siena sighed. “What I was trying to say is that I don’t think that’s true anymore. I think Kate really likes you. Cressida…is not always the nicest person. I think she’s jealous, like Jack Featherington was.”“What does Featherington have to do with any of this?” asked Anthony, getting angry at the mention.“Kate was trying to protect both of you by staying away from you. Jack liked Kate and he was jealous of you, especially after the fight last year. Then, Jack was supposed to kiss Kate at Pru’s birthday party...”“What?!” growled Anthony, clenching his fists.“Ouch!” cried Siena, who still had one hand in Anthony’s grip as they danced.“Sorry!” Anthony said, dropping Siena’s hand and letting her go. “But, what? Jack kissed Kate?” Anthony sounded pained.“No,” continued Siena. “Just listen to me. Kate refused to kiss Jack or anyone. She went home. Simon made sure she was safe. But the thing is that Kate spent all of this year worrying that Jack would bother the two of you again, so she did her best to avoid making him jealous, which meant ignoring you completely. She didn’t want you to get into a fight or risk getting hurt again, but Jack is gone now. They are shipping him off to military school. You guys don’t have to worry anymore.”Siena paused and pulled away from Anthony. “You’re a nice guy, Anthony, and Kate’s a great girl. You make a good couple. She really cares about you. You should…go talk to her.”Anthony nodded numbly as Siena quietly moved away from him, leaving him alone on the dance floor as his mind continued to whirl with all this new information. But instead of heading toward the entrance of the girls locker room where he saw an emerging Kate who looked like she had been crying and Gen with her arm around Kate’s shoulders being met by Siena, who was gesturing frantically over to him, Anthony pulled out his phone from his pocket and texted his emergency extrication code “Eight is enough” to Violet’s phone and slowly started to make his way out of the gymnasium before he could run into anyone else.—-Kate saw Anthony slip through the double doors of the gymnasium and caught Anthony before he headed down the hall. Everything inside the gymnasium was so loud that no one could hear Kate and Anthony yelling at each other in the hallway.Kate: Anthony, wait!Anthony (rounds on her furiously): I don’t want to talk to you, Kate. I heard those words come out of your mouth. I never thought you were that shallow. I never thought you were that mean. If you’re not interested in me, fine, but you can’t deny that’s what you said to a whole audience.Kate: I didn’t deny anything. I just wanted her to leave us alone because Cressida is such a terrible gossip. She would make our lives miserable.Anthony: But that’s just it. You don’t want her to know and I don’t care if she knows. I want to be your boyfriend, not your secret, in the dark during movie night only boyfriend. I want to be in your boyfriend for real and for everybody to know that we’re together.Kate: That’s what I want, too, Anthony.Anthony: You told a whole group of girls in our class that you didn’t like me like that. You told Siena privately that we were just friends and then you just publicly told Cressida and everyone at the dance that you would only date a guy who met all the criteria on your stupid list, and guess who doesn’t measure up?Kate: That wasn’t meant for you, Anthony. Fife was getting on my last nerve and I was just trying to shut him up. I wasn’t thinking. It was stupid and mean. I didn’t even mean it. OBVIOUSLY! (She gestured to Anthony)Anthony: What does that mean? (Anthony gestured back) Are you saying I’m too short? Too weak? That I can’t take care of myself with bullies like Featherington?Kate: No, Anthony. Please let me explain. It’s not that simple.Anthony: What isn’t simple? I like you. I thought you liked me. We kissed!Kate: I do like you, Anthony. So much. So, so much. And I have missed you terribly.Anthony deflated for a moment at Kate’s vulnerability and he tried to calm himself.Anthony (quietly): Tell me the truth, Kate. Did you really avoid me this whole year because you were afraid Featherington would do something to me? To us?Kate nodded silently as she swallowed.Anthony: I can’t believe you, Kate. Somehow that’s even worse.Kate: What? I was trying to protect us both. How is that worse?Anthony (turns around sadly to face Kate): It’s like you don’t even know me or trust me to take care of myself. Do you really think I’m that fragile, Kate? That hurts more than anything.Kate: But Anthony, everything I have done this year has been for you, for both of us, to keep us safe. How can you be mad at me for that?Anthony: We were best friends. Best friends take care of each other. Best friends protect each other. We are supposed to be a team. You didn’t even tell me this was going on. You never gave me a chance to tell you what I wanted or what we could have done together. You made this decision to break us up as friends unilaterally. You spent the last year acting as if nothing had ever passed between us and now you’re still worried about the Featheringtons and Cowpers of the world. The Kathani Sharma I knew was fearless.Kate (getting angry): Maybe it’s not always easy, Anthony. Maybe I’m not always fearless. Maybe it’s not just about what other people think, but about everything else that comes with it.Anthony: Do you think I give a flying flip about what Featherington thinks? He could come at me every single day and I wouldn’t care.Kate: But I would! He was awful to both of us last year and I don’t want that to happen to either one of us again. What if he really hurt you? I couldn’t take that, not after the nightmares last summer.Kate started to cry and Anthony was silent for a moment, absorbing everything.Anthony (more quietly): I remember you mentioned the nightmares. I’m sorry. I don’t completely understand, but I wish you trusted me. I wish you didn’t try to handle this all by yourself. I lost my best friend this year. I feel like I lost something and someone even more tonight.Kate (crying): Can we just start over again? Put this whole night, this year, behind us.Anthony sighed. “I don’t know if I can, Kate. It isn’t just one thing anymore. It’s all of it. I thought that it was because you were embarrassed by me. I don’t care what I look like. I don’t care that I’m short. I don’t care what other people think of you or me by ourselves or with each other.“I just never thought that you did. I care that it matters to you and that you're embarrassed enough by it that you kept it secret for so long instead of screaming it from the rooftops like I wanted to. As much as you say that it doesn’t matter, it obviously does matter, or you wouldn’t have said what you did to Fife.”Kate stood stone still. One thoughtless remark fired off in anger after being provoked had hit the wrong target and the damage was still unfolding.Anthony continued. “This whole year, I feel like you lived two lives. This life in public at school and on instagram and then you have a real life somewhere inside. I don’t want to have two lives. That’s exhausting.“I once told Mary that I would always protect you. So the worst part of this is that you didn’t think I was strong enough to be your best friend, to handle what was going on, to share this burden with you, to talk about what was happening with the nightmares, with Featherington, with everything.“You’ve been my other half for as long as I can remember, Kate. Up until tonight, I was pretty sure I loved you and maybe I thought you loved me too. Maybe that’s why you wanted to protect me and tried to help in your own misguided way, perhaps because you sensed the truth, that I’m simply not good enough to be your friend or the love of your life.“This can’t be what love is. And if it is, I don’t want it. Love is the whole problem if this is what it does to people. Love will have no place in my future. Thanks for teaching me that, Kate.”With that, Anthony strode off and for several seconds Kate felt she could not even move, but she couldn’t just let him go like that. Just one more try.—-“Anthony, wait!” called Kate.Anthony stopped for a fraction of a second upon hearing her voice, squeezed his eyes shut to clear his head and quickened his pace, hoping to reach the exit doors before she caught up with him, but he was no match for Kate’s athleticism and long legs which reached him seconds later.“It was all a misunderstanding, Anthony. I didn’t even mean what I said,” said Kate as her long fingers closed around the friendship bracelet with fragrant sandalwood beads that she had made especially for Anthony in India.He paused again for a moment to look at her with contempt—and hurt, Kate could tell—flashing in his eyes and his jaw clenching furiously before responding “I don’t even know what you mean anymore or who you are. We’re done, KATE!” he said emphasizing the last word.Anthony jerked his left wrist out of her grip, breaking the bracelet threads and sending the beads clattering to the floor and rolling off in all directions away from a stunned Kate who was left to clean up the mess as he hopped into his mom’s waiting van.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
ONE YEAR AFTER THE 8th GRADE DANCE
(Toward the end of 9th grade-first year of high school)No, no, no, no, no…Crap! Whyyyyyy?Kate Sharma was pretty sure that fate had an extra twisted sense of humor.As if living through her first year of high school with her mortal enemy vexing her at every turn hadn’t already been enough to manage, now this!Kate had initially been thrilled to learn that she had been chosen to present a special comedy duet to the local elementary school attended by Edwina and several of the younger Bridgertons, only to find that her former best friend, now sworn rival, Anthony Bridgerton’s band, "The Menace," which included drummer Will Mondrich and keyboard player Tom Dorset, would be performing a song with special guest singer, Siena Rosso, at the same event.Anthony Bridgerton…the bane of her existence…And, most unfortunately, also the object of all her 14-year-old teenage desires.The boy she hadn’t had a pleasant conversation with in almost a year. The boy who had always loved fiercely and loyally, but had turned on a dime into a cold, seemingly heartless young man to her--the person whom he cut out of his tight circle of friends. The boy who had held a vice grip on her heart for the past two years, but actually for much longer if she allowed herself the honesty to remember the earliest days of their friendship as the blossoming love it really was.But now, to keep herself sane, productive and focused, Kate could only allow herself to mount a self-protective hatred against him while he effortlessly insinuated himself into the depths of her subconscious mind, sprouting up at the worst, most inconvenient moments and annoying her enough to continue to generate enough dislike for him to keep any possibility of the alternative feelings of despair and heartbreak at bay.The special performance announcement popped up on the band’s Instagram page, dutifully updated by Kate’s good friend and scene partner for the duet, Simon Hastings-Bassett, who knew all too well the delicate and ever-diplomatic dance he needed to maintain between his two fiery, stubborn best friends. Simon surreptitiously kept Kate in the loop of the band’s happenings and the personal lives of its members after she was unceremoniously blocked by Anthony from his personal insta page last year after their falling out.Kate grimaced a bit when she saw the photograph of Siena with one arm around Anthony and the other around Tom. Kate knew that Siena was a friend and occasional collaborator of the band, with increasingly serious professional musical aspirations for herself, but it still hurt a bit to see the ease with which Anthony offered and accepted casual affection from those within his circle as he continued to maintain an airtight lock on the door that kept Kate out.Kate knew better than most that not everything on social media was as it seemed, even if there was a public relations benefit to the band featuring a talented and attractive female singer while quietly allowing people to wonder about the nature of a potential romantic relationship between Siena and a member of the band. Kate’s own ongoing experience with instagram fame and a growing following was proof that the highly curated image on display was only a tiny fraction of the real story behind it. What had started as a directive from a mean girl (Cressida Cowper) and a former dance coach (Portia Featherington) with social climbing aspirations had taken off in an wholly unexpected way for Kate, who had posted photographs of her monthlong trip to India in eighth grade, mostly for a few friends to enjoy, wearing the most beautiful vintage textiles that dated back all the way to to her great-grandmother, Dadima Sahiba, and jewelry that dated back even farther.Her good friend Genevieve Delacroix, who had shown a prodigious talent for creating and customizing her own fashion in 8th grade Home Economics class had immediately booked Kate as her first model, paying her in limitless junk food and first dibs on all future Genevieve’s Creations. As the girls worked together during the summer before high school, word of mouth and the power of the Instagram algorithm combined to make Genevieve‘s work and Kate’s modeling the hottest thing in teen and tween fashion, growing by the end of their ninth grade year to over 50 thousand followers and offers of serious modeling contracts for Kate whose somewhat bewildered, but firmly grounded parents set some clear boundaries for safety in an environment not known for being child-friendly with the help of their good family friend and lawyer, Edmund Bridgerton, who they trusted almost as much as they trusted each other and a professional agent with a solid reputation and history of child protection work for kids in show business and modeling.Neither Rakesh nor Mary Sharma particularly liked the idea of their young teenage daughter having a national and growing international reputation for instagram fame and modeling, knowing that it could expose her to all types of unsavory characters that they would prefer not to invite into their lives, even within the virtual world, but it was hard to know how to encourage both Genevieve’s creativity and entrepreneurship as well as Kate’s independence and evolving self-esteem as they embarked on new adventures in high school and found a measure of success in a world that was not always kind to young, talented women of color. It was also out of a sense of guilt and sorrow that Kate had experienced what appeared to be a more permanent and hostile separation from her longtime best friend and love interest, Anthony Bridgerton, over the last year. The Sharmas felt it was good for Kate to be able to focus on something outside their small community that didn’t always have her bumping up against him and that she truly enjoyed with another good friend of hers. Mary knew that since Kate had come home devastated from the eighth grade dance, almost a year ago with subsequent refusal to take part in any events involving the Bridgerton family where Anthony would be present, it was hard to say no to her as she started to find success in a new niche that blissfully did not invoke the repeated heartbreak that any contact with him seemed to bring her. Mary knew that pushing Kate too hard or setting rules too rigidly might have the opposite effect on her, so she and Rakesh tried to gently allow Kate more freedom in some areas while still maintaining some critical guardrails to protect their daughter so she would not be forced to grow up too fast in a sometimes unkind world.Mary could remember all too well the difficulty of being a teenager, but knew that the challenges Kate faced in today's world were very different from the ones she had faced decades ago. She knew that her parents were not the same in the way they parented her, and she hoped to do much better for Kate and Edwina. She wished Kate would talk to her more and open up as she did so easily when she was younger, but she also knew that Kate needed a degree of privacy and space for herself.Finding the right balance between encouraging Kate to talk and allowing her space was difficult. Mary also knew from her work with children that sometimes only an objective third-party would feel like someone safe enough to open up to, so she tried to set the expectation with her daughters that if they ever needed to confidentially open up to someone, they would make arrangements with the full support of both parents. But whenever this option was offered, Kate always declined and still seemed quite functional and happy whenever Anthony was not involved.Unfortunately, Anthony was still very much intertwined in Kate’s academic life, whether or not either of them wanted that to be the case. Both were just stubborn enough not to cede an entire area of interest just because the other one was still involved as well. Moreover, neither could escape the other’s presence online either, no matter how many privacy settings were set and accounts were blocked, causing even further friction and fireworks when the two eventually and regularly collided, much to the displeasure of everyone who had the misfortune of being in the vicinity when it happened.But even with their incendiary clashes, Kate often found herself in quieter moments wondering what Anthony was thinking. He had become a mystery to her over the past year and it bothered yet intrigued Kate no end, even if she was loathe to admit it. Meanwhile, Anthony outwardly fumed at his former best friend while internally, he struggled with her recurring presence in his dreams, as if his subconscious mind taunted his inability to banish her from his thoughts completely and took a toll on his once enviable ability to sleep deeply in almost any situation. His battles with insomnia in turn affected his mood, making him generally grumpier and more irritable than he had been in the past. It only made Anthony even more determined to avoid Kate during waking hours, frustrating as it was when he felt an equally strong paradoxical impulse to remain in her orbit however he could.As a result, Kate found him even more infuriating, especially when he was being intentionally so just to irritate her. He was obstinate, inflexible and unyielding to good common sense—most especially when the source of sensibility happened to be her and despite the fact that she had spent the better part of her final year of middle school trying so hard to protect him, both of them actually, from a lifetime of humiliation within school walls…the ungrateful jerk.It did not help that Anthony was a hothead who could hold a grudge from here to Timbuktu. They had overlapping Algebra II and Spanish classes as well as some extracurricular activities like debate, so it was impossible to avoid each other. On occasion, she would see his abrasive facade crack for a brief moment and he would be almost human to her. In a few instances like when she had killer menstrual cramps, he even seemed genuinely concerned about her and offered to lend her his notes for the rest of classes that day when she had to leave early, but after she had copied and returned them with a smile and a thank you ladoo (Indian sweet) packaged in its own elaborate favor box, Anthony accepted it stone-faced with a curt “you’re welcome” before proceeding to ignore her for the rest of the week, dashing any of Kate’s admittedly unrealistic hopes for a reconciliation.There was no identifiable pattern to his behavior, which just ticked Kate off even more. Even in debate club, sometimes Kate would tear into his argument to make hers and he would give it back just as strongly. Kate would pack her things up, exhilarated by the adrenaline rush of matching wits with him and he would offer an unsolicited “Nice job, Sharma” before disappearing out the door. But then at the very next practice, even with the same fierce dynamic between them during rebuttals, Anthony would just go back to scrolling on his phone as if she didn’t exist.Once, as they were preparing to host a home debate tournament, they happened to pass each other in an empty hall and instead of smiling, waving or even ignoring her like a normal person would do, Anthony could not seem to hold his tongue and smirked “Good thing you’re not debating today, Sharma. You’d never survive this level of competition” as he kept walking, leaving Kate at a loss for words as she wondered what the devil had gotten into him to provoke such an unsolicited reaction.Hot and cold with no middle ground in sight and certainly no warning for when he blew his top, Kate had privately dubbed him Mount St. Anthony, a volcanic presence that didn’t even erupt normally from the top, but blew out the entire side of a mountain leaving a thick carpet of ash and miles of devastation wherever he went. As Kate learned about the anomaly of the Mount St. Helens eruption decades ago in her Earth Sciences class, she felt a kinship to the geologists who studied volcanoes for a living only to be throughly shocked by this singular event. That was how her entire high school relationship with Anthony Bridgerton was defined thus far, and there were three years of high school yet to go, Kate thought as she sighed.The worst part of it was that Kate still felt a gnawing guilt that she was the one responsible for Anthony’s abrupt shift in personality and the mercurial moody teen he had become. She worried that she had broken Anthony’s heart and it had changed him from the sweet affectionate almost-boyfriend and best friend she once had into a hardened, cynical young man who hid his own insecurities behind a facade of arrogance and only seemed to enjoy himself when Kate was directly in his crosshairs. But she knew it was equally true that he had broken her heart and yet she had not turned into the Tasmanian Devil overnight.She knew that on any logical level, she should avoid him or set some boundaries, but she also acknowledged that she did not want to give him the satisfaction of running her off. Kate Sharma was no coward. She was not about to let any boy, especially Anthony Bridgerton get the best of her, even if she spent the first few months after their epic separation avoiding all things Bridgerton.Part of it was just feeling indignant that Anthony, or anyone for that matter, could try to rile her up without provoking some type of justifiable counterresponse in equal measure. But another part of it was the inextricable overlap of the people in their lives from family to their closest friends. It did not seem fair for Kate to have to give up playing with baby Hyacinth or little Greg, who clearly adored her, or even having to essentially lock herself away whenever their families had events together. She had spent a year of her life hiding inside of an exterior that did not feel like her own and she was done pretending to be something she was not and being around people whose company she didn’t even enjoy.Since leaving middle school, Kate made the decision to never shy away from using the brains she knew she had or to put on an act to seem dumber or less threatening than she was. She figured there were 1 million reasons people could find to dislike her, but she wasn’t going to change herself just to make them feel more comfortable. If they were going to dislike her, let them. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she spent her life trying to conform to their expectations and people disliked her anyway. She had already made peace with the fact that even when she made decisions with her heart for what she thought were the right reasons, they wouldn’t always turn out the way she intended, but one thing she didn’t want to do is live life with regrets.Kate had learned in middle school that keeping things inside and trying to fend off the bad behavior of others silently took a toll on her and on her most important friendships. It usually resulted in her feeling frustrated, overtaxed and still without a tangible solution or way to express her frustration. In the past year, thanks in no small part to her current relationship with Anthony, she had become much better at speaking up when she saw or experienced things that did not sit well with her—and frequently, that involved telling off Anthony for his behavior toward her or others who were in the lava path of an erupting Mount St. Anthony.Unfortunately, her once sweet friend had developed a real temper, which to be fair, he typically only unleashed when he was: a) mad at Kate (which was often) or b) if he recognized a legitimate injustice, which Kate respected most of the time. However, Anthony seemed to regard Kate as one big walking billboard of the antithesis of what he held himself up to be—someone who had zero interest in fame, popularity or inane social conventions, essentially everything that high school and social media represented in his mind, which brought them back to a) being mad at Kate.The summer between middle school and high school was a big one for both Kate and Anthony. As Kate had moved away from the dance squad during the latter half of 8th grade, she had more time to reconnect with her friend Genevieve to work on their joint business venture. Gen had been following her insta posts from India with great interest, being enchanted with the colorful fabrics and beautiful outfits Kate posted. Gen had started customizing her own clothes and trying to add elements from her own Jamaican heritage to really make them her own and mean something even deeper. She had noticed that Kate’s Instagram following had really taken off among fellow students and that she seemed to be a natural for modeling beautiful clothing, so Gen asked if Kate would be willing to model some of Gen’s custom clothes with her to help get the word out. Kate was thrilled to help out her friend and amplify her ideas. Mary and Rakesh allowed Kate to take her insta account off private as long as they still had full access to monitor any potential threats. They promised that once she turned 16, she could renegotiate terms of social media use with them based on how things were going.Kate remembered how Anthony had begged his parents to let him open an insta account just before Kate left for India so they could keep in touch while she was away and he could enjoy seeing some of the sights through her eyes. Kate remembered how much fun it was to find out that Anthony had successfully lobbied his parents when she saw a new follow request from @antbridge and soon after, every notification that he had liked the photos and videos she had posted of her relatives, Amma’s garden, her outfits, the palaces they visited and the cheeky 💖😘 comment from him underneath the photo of the Bridgerton vault bracelet he had given her over Thanksgiving just before she left, when they shared their first real kiss, because as they both agreed, kindergarten kisses did not count, even when accompanied by proposals and candy promise rings.That was also the summer that the Bridgertons completed construction on a massive inground pool in their backyard, which seemed like a hefty, yet worthwhile investment to keep their large family entertained, allow Anthony extra swimming practice and ensure that with a fully wheelchair accessible area and therapy pool, Daphne and other guests, like Tom, could benefit fully from enjoying some waterplay without feeling left out. Unfortunately, the year long rift between Kate and Anthony had started just prior to the beginning of summer which made any interaction awkward at best and outright hostile at worst.Kate avoided most Bridgerton pool events and even when she was dragged along, she had to sit on the sidelines as she watched girls like Pru and Cressida suddenly develop a very strong interest in Anthony and make very obvious plays for him despite not even noticing him the previous year.Ironic that everything had changed in just a few short months, both in terms of her newly developing feelings for Anthony and her growing discontent with some of the popular crowd and how all of that had come to a head in the worst possible way at the school dance. Moreover, it had not escaped anyone’s notice that Anthony who at the conclusion of middle school was still small and looked a few years younger than he actually was had started to enter the awkward stage of puberty going from a little boy who was cute as a button to a very skinny teenager, all skin and bones, whose face and head seemed to be stretching out like Silly Putty while his arms and legs had yet to catch up. Just after middle school graduation, Violet had taken the entire crew of children for haircuts and Anthony had emerged with a buzz cut, his own choice, in an effort to physically and metaphorically cut ties (and apparently, hair) with his past.Luckily for Anthony, being free of middle school seemed to have unleashed a new attitude in him where he did not give two licks about what anyone else thought of him. After the haircut, he grabbed a very old army green fishing hat of Edmund’s, removed all of the lures, leaving several obvious holes and made that part of his official summer uniform, abandoning the baseball hat he used to wear constantly that made him look adorably boyish. The new hat matched his new attitude, as if he had sartorially perfected the consummate sullen teen. He even added a vintage pair of Birkenstocks he found at a thrift store, until Violet threw them away without his knowledge and replaced them with “a more hygienic new pair” that wouldn’t give him foot fungus or worse.By the time he started high school that fall, Anthony’s daily uniform with the old hat and the Birks had been completed with old baggy jeans, an assortment of classic rock t-shirts and a long-sleeved flannel shirt tied around his waist in the summer or worn open over the T-shirt in colder weather. As the buzz cut grew out, Anthony decided to keep the fishing hat, even as his hair grew into a rather shaggy dark brown, almost black mullet, resembling a football helmet. To her credit, Violet Bridgerton had made a deal with Anthony that as long as he maintained an acceptable level of personal hygiene and wore appropriately laundered clothing that did not run afoul of any dress code guidelines or present any offensive images, he could wear any hairstyle or clothing he chose.Secretly, Kate suspected that his apparent lack of care regarding his general appearance was actually more carefully curated than Anthony would admit and seemed to project the image of his band, The Menace, which mostly played Weezer and other emo songs. Every day in Algebra II, Kate had to sit behind him, staring at his stupid holey hat and seeing his stupid feet in his stupid Birkenstocks (even in November!) as he manspread and stretched his limbs beyond the edges of his desk.Anthony had yet to start his long anticipated growth spurt, so Kate still had a couple of inches of height on him, which he seemed to take as a personal offense. In addition to hitting the worst of his awkward phase as he started high school, Anthony was still relatively small in stark comparison to classmates like Simon who was already 6 feet tall, still growing and now developing facial hair while Anthony looked as hair free as a freshly waxed runway model, which made Kate laugh ruefully at the cruel irony of the fact that she still had to spend more time and effort than she would have liked removing excess body hair while some of her male friends already coveted each other’s sprouting facial whiskers. Genetics and puberty were quite the pair, she thought with a groan.---Kate thought back to the last time she and Anthony had more than a passing conversation with each other—their fight at the dance and its heartbreaking aftermath.Kate was grateful that at least she and Anthony wouldn’t have to rehearse together, given their two completely different acts, but they would have to ride over as a group to the school, set up together and be in closer quarters than they had been for quite awhile.KATE: FLASHBACK: POST-8TH GRADE DANCE
Kate remembered being left alone in the middle school hallway after the fight, stunned into silence with tears that seemed like they would never stop forming two rivers down her face. She barely remembered feeling Gen’s arms embrace and guide her toward the girls bathroom for some privacy as Siena carefully gathered all of the sandalwood beads from the friendship bracelet that had broken and scattered across the floor when Anthony pulled away from Kate.Both of her friends took turns hugging her and helping her wipe the tears off her face, until Kate finally calmed down enough to speak to them. Siena looked stricken and apologized for saying anything to Cressida. She explained that Cressida had recently expressed an interest in Anthony, after learning about the Bridgerton pool, and was asking around about his relationship status. She knew that Cressida had always been a little envious of Kate, moreso since Kate’s Instagram popularity had blossomed. Cressida had specifically asked Sienna if Kate and Anthony were an item because she knew that Siena was close to Kate, another reason she was jealous of Kate. Siena had told her no, but she explained to Kate, that if she had known that she liked Anthony, she would never have told Cressida out of respect for Kate's feelings. She just didn’t think this was a secret at all. It was clear to Kate that Siena felt terrible for any part she had played, even inadvertently, and she did not hold that unintended mistake against her friend.“But since you said you weren’t interested in him, I thought it was OK for me to tell Cressie that, but I won’t ever do that if anything like that comes up again in the future. To anybody. I’m so sorry, Kate,“ said Siena as she hugged Kate again and Kate hugged her back.Gen sighed. “I don’t mean to state the obvious, especially when the wound is still fresh, but I’ve known for years that you two loved each other, but Anthony’s a boy and sometimes boys can be stupid. I should know. I have three brothers and I’ve seen them mess up all the time with girls they were interested in.”The girls all laughed and even Kate felt a little bit better to release some of that tension.“It’s clear that you have affection for Anthony,“ said Siena gently. “Even if you said you didn’t, I should’ve put the pieces together and figured it out. I’m really sorry I tried to push you towards Jack Featherington when you had Anthony right there the whole time.“Kate hiccuped. She needed to know something important, but was a little afraid of the answer. “Do you like him? I mean like-like him, Siena?“ Kate asked in a small voice.Siena paused. “I think I like the idea of Anthony. I wouldn’t have even considered him before you introduced us and I got to dance with him in PE,“ she said carefully. “I think I would like the idea of someone like him as a boyfriend, but I would never go after someone you liked. That’s just Girl Code aka the rules of feminism. I care more about you than any boy because we’re friends and I would never want a guy to come between us. Period.““It’s not like he’s my boyfriend, or ever was, really” said Kate. She was about to say more, but the words got stuck in her throat as she choked back a sob.Siena hugged her friend tightly. “It’s not about anyone belonging to anyone else. It’s about our friendship being more important. That’s not going to change, Kate. Besides, it would feel yucky, almost like cheating and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my parents, it’s that cheating sucks and it ruins multiple lives. I will never be a part of it. It’s literally never OK in my book.”“But since we're being honest, I do have to tell you that before I knew you guys were interested in each other, I thought about asking him out on a date. I won’t now, obviously, but I thought about what you said, and I think it is nice to get to know boys who aren’t just popular or hot, but maybe guys I hadn’t considered before who are nice and nothing like Jack,” said Siena.Kate opened her mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. She thought Anthony was plenty cute, maybe even kind of hot as far as 13 year old boys go, but the girls didn’t need to know that.“But don’t worry!” Siena rushed to say. “Even when we were dancing together, it was clear that Anthony had absolutely zero interest in me. Dude was sending and checking his text messages WHILE we were dancing! He was so agitated. Even though he pretended not to, he kept looking over to where you were. He’s pretty far gone for you, Kate.""He probably just needs some time to cool off," added Gen.Kate smiled through her tears and wiped them away. “It’s not like it even matters now anyway. He hates me. Anthony doesn’t forget things very easily. If you wanted to go on a date with him, you should just go.”“No way,” said Siena and she reached out to link pinky fingers with Kate and Genevieve. “Girl Code. Remember?”“Do you feel like going back in, Kate?” asked Gen.“No. I think I’m just going to call my parents to pick me up,“ said Kate.“OK, I'll wait with you,“ said Genevieve. “Hey, listen, I know we were all invited to the Bridgerton pool party opening next week, but why don’t we just have our own sleepover that night at my place. Perfect reason for a Girls Night to avoid the boy drama.“Kate smiled gratefully at her two friends and they group hugged, remaining solidly beside each other until Rakesh arrived and dropped all three of them home, with Kate slowly allowing some of the tension from that night to unwind in the warm embrace of her friends.—-ANTHONY: FLASHBACK: POST-8TH GRADE DANCE
Anthony had a very different experience in the aftermath of that night. He sat stone-faced in silence in the Bridgervan and bolted straight to his room, without a word to Violet or Edmond at the end of the night.He threw his clothes directly into the laundry hamper and took a shower in an effort to wash away everything that happened that night and so he wouldn't have to keep inhaling the lingering traces of Kate's jasmine perfume mixed with the sandalwood cologne she gave him that stubbornly clung to his skin and clothing. He changed into his pajamas, turned the light off and hoped not to emerge until late the next day to find that everything had been a bad dream.In his worst nightmares, Anthony could not have imagined what had unfolded at the dance. He remembered how the night had started with such a promise, despite the fact that Edmund had come to his room just before he started getting ready for the dance to have "The Talk 2.0" much to Anthony's horror, leading him to pull a pillow over his head when it became clear what was going to be discussed.But Edmund had remained undeterred and had chuckled softly at his son's understandable mortification at the idea of continuing a most awkward but very necessary talk. Edmund sat down on Anthony's bed, rubbed his son’s back and pulled the pillow off his son's face after promising Anthony that they would not discuss the mechanics of "The Talk" since that had already been covered in graphic detail the last time with Violet.Edmund settled in as Anthony took several deep breaths."I know that tonight is a special night for you and Kate. I want to have this talk now, before either of you go any further in this relationship, because it's not just about what happens tonight, but how you set the standard for your future as two people who were friends and might move into territory of being more than friends. This is not because I don't trust you. It's because I do and I want to make sure we're on the same page when it comes to respecting women at every stage of your life and relationship. It's important that you understand a few things about what it means to be a gentleman as you get older," Edmund began."Do you remember how when you were young, we always told you that having good manners and being kind to people was what gentlemen do?"Anthony nodded.Edmund continued. "There is a little more to it now. I want you to understand that what I’m talking about isn’t old-fashioned and it isn’t something you should take for granted. Being a gentleman means being respectful, respecting yourself and respecting young ladies and their boundaries."I know that you and Kate kissed each other and from what I could tell, both of you were comfortable doing that and wanted to do it, but if there’s ever a time where you or Kate do not feel comfortable doing that or doing more than that, it is critical that you understand how important it is to stop, even if you really want to keep doing it or doing more. No means no. Full stop."Being in a relationship is a responsibility and respect is an enormous part of that responsibility. I want you to remember that Kate and other young women have minds of their own, that might not always be in alignment with your mind or your desires. They will have boundaries for themselves because of what they are comfortable with. It might be for religious or other personal reasons that means they should be allowed to stop any sort of activity at any point if it goes beyond their level of comfort."You might not always know what the line is, but that’s when it becomes important to ask them and to communicate before going any further. You cannot assume anything. You need to ask and only with enthusiastic consent from her is it OK to go on."Sometimes, if people are nervous or scared, they might not be completely forthcoming, but that’s when a gentleman would look at other factors. If a girl says she is comfortable kissing you but her face or her body are telling you that she’s uncomfortable, I want you to understand that you need to respect that even more and if you have to make a decision, you need to err on the side of not pushing anyone too far and just stop."Do you understand what I’m saying, Anthony?" asked Edmund.Anthony: I think so, Dad. I know I would never make Kate do something she didn’t want to do.Edmund: Good. I’m glad to hear that. Can you think of an example?Anthony: Well, since eighth grade started, Kate has not wanted to talk to me at school anymore. We’re still friends when we go to their house or she comes here, but not at school, so I don’t talk to her unless she says something to me. Is that what you mean?Edmund: Anthony, I didn’t know all of this was happening. I gathered something had changed in the friendship, but it seemed like you guys got back on track, especially after you kissed her when the Sharmas returned from India after winter break. Do you want to talk about it?Anthony: Not really. It’s fine. Kate and I still see each other and that’s what’s important.Edmund: It doesn’t sound fine to me, Anthony. It sounds like something more is going on that we don’t understand. Have you tried talking to Kate about it?Anthony: No. Neither of us wants to talk about it. I told you. We’re fine.Edmund: Ant, if it’s bothering you, you don’t have to pretend that it isn’t. You can talk to your mom or me. Or if you feel more comfortable, your therapist is there to help you, too.Anthony: I know.Edmund: Ant, I don’t know what’s going on. It sounds like maybe you don't fully understand Kate's reasons either, but I am glad that you’re being respectful of Kate and giving her space when that’s what she wants. I still think it would be a good idea if you spent some time talking about it the next time you get a chance. Not communicating well can lead to all kinds of assumptions that can hurt people later on, but talking about things upfront, even when it's hard, can head off so many big problems. Communication and consent are necessary elements, Anthony.Anthony blushed. "Can we please stop talking now? I don't want to be late for the dance."Edmund puts up his hands in surrender and laughed. "OK, I’m sure your old dad has traumatized you enough for one night, but Ant..."Anthony: Yes, Dad?Edmund leaned over to wrap his son in a hug and kissed the top of his head. "I love you, son.""I love you, too, Dad," Anthony replied, returning the hug.Edmund got up to leave and closed Anthony's bedroom door behind him as he left. He let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Edmund took it as a good sign that his 13-year-old son could tell him that he loved him and even though he knew there was a great deal that Anthony was withholding, he was grateful for that moment and the words his son spoke.---
PRESENT DAY (END OF 9TH GRADE-ONE YEAR AFTER THE FIGHT AT THE DANCE)Anthony returned home from school in a Mood, with a capital M.He angrily kicked off his Birks upon entering his home, with one hitting the doorframe and the other flying over the shoe shelf. He had been so excited that morning when The Menace, the band he founded with some of his best friends, had been chosen for the elementary school performance, but now he knew Kate Sharma would be there too and he wondered how exactly he was supposed to handle her being in such close proximity. Again. Like always.He banged his forehead against the doorframe."What on earth is all that banging? What did that door ever do to you?" asked Edmund, as he emerged from the kitchen where he was setting up the famous Bridgerton dinner assembly line where each child who was old enough was assigned to a station to help prepare the evening meal, allowing everyone to contribute to the family tradition of sharing and preparing dinner together as a family.It was rare for Anthony to be home this early given his usual after school activities, but Edmund was happy to see him and to have a little bit of time with just the two of them to talk, something that was increasingly rare as Anthony grew older, got busier and seemed to turn inward even more.Anthony was still raging inside over the news and the last thing he wanted to do was talk about it. "I'm fine, Father," he bit out.Edmund's eyebrows went up "Father? Why so formal, Ant?""Sorry, DAD!” replied Anthony sarcastically."Hey, hey, hey. No need to be disrespectful, Anthony," Edmund said firmly."I'm sorry," Anthony said more contritely as he sighed.Edmund took off his apron and gestured for Anthony to sit down with him. "What happened, Anthony? Tell me.”"Dad, I don't really..." Anthony began.Edmund jumped in. "Anthony, you and I have maybe 30 minutes before this house turns into Grand Central Station. I think your mother and I have been very patient with you and tried to give you your space for a while now, but these outbursts are becoming more frequent and disruptive. Your own siblings are starting to avoid you. I know Colin likes to wind you up because you're an easy target, but Eloise calls you "Mean Anthony" when you rage about and even Benedict has been avoiding you at the slightest hint of a stormy mood. You know how sensitive he is. That isn't fair to any of us Anthony and it's past time we had a talk. So tell me what is happening.""Aren't you the one who always told me I shouldn't care what people think?" asked Anthony."That doesn't apply when your behavior is hurting others or making people miserable," Edmund replied. "I'm glad that you're your own person, Anthony. I'm very proud of you for not just following the crowd and doing stupid things just because others do them, but your attitude is affecting everyone's mood and that's not acceptable in this home or at school. You're the eldest and your mother and I rely on you to set a good example for your younger siblings, who all love you very much, but sometimes your temper scares them.""Maybe I'm just preparing them for the real world," Anthony said quietly, not meeting his father's concerned eyes.Edmund sighed deeply. "Anthony, I know it's been a difficult couple of years, but I don't want your temper to get in the way of your happiness or keeping you from getting what you really want."You deserve good things Anthony and you've always been far too hard on yourself and often others. Sometimes I think if you were less exacting in your standards for yourself, you might not be so on edge all the time and you would have greater emotional reserve to be more patient with others, instead of so quick to anger."We are lucky that most of the people around us are kind. They don't deserve to be at the receiving end of your temper. Most of them also love you enough to forgive you for outbursts, but these things take a toll and I don't want to see you miss out on something wonderful because of it. Being a gentleman does not mean being perfect. It means living with honor and courage while taking responsibility for your actions and flaws, which we all have, and considering the impact your actions have on others."It definitely does NOT mean treating people poorly and writing it off as being a complex human being. It doesn't work that way, Ant. Your behavior has real world consequences on other people that can last a lifetime."Edmund paused. "I know this is a sensitive subject, but Kate hasn't even been here for the past year if she knows you'll be around. That can't be a coincidence. Your ongoing feud with Kate Sharma has not just affected the two of you, it's affecting your siblings and our relationship with the Sharmas.""I'm so sorry to have upset your society connections, Father," Anthony said with an eye roll."That's not what I meant, Anthony, and you know it," said Edmund, struggling a bit to maintain his composure."Well, then please enthrall me with your self-knowledge and awareness, Father" challenged Anthony.Edmund closed his eyes and willed himself to remain calm. "Unacceptable, Anthony. That's exactly what I'm talking about."You cannot beat the hurt away with the stick you constantly seem to carry. I don't know exactly what happened between you and Kate, but I can tell it hurt you deeply and I'm so sorry for that."However, it doesn't give you license to be disrespectful or unkind to the people around you, including Kate. Perhaps she made a mistake. So have you. She deserves a better friend than you have been to her this past year and your family deserves better than this, too."I want you to finish washing the potatoes and then get the tomatoes and onions ready. Benedict and Eloise deserve a break today and I don't want you taking out your foul mood out on anyone else tonight or there will be no band or swim practice for a week, is that understood?" said Edmund.Anthony knew better than to push his father any farther. "Yes, sir," he mumbled as he made his way to the kitchen and Edmund sank back into the sofa cushions.Anthony silently started the dinner preparation. He did not even feel like complaining about taking on the work of two extra siblings. He was mad at himself for not keeping things under better control, but he seemed to lose all rational ability whenever Kate Sharma entered the picture. He knew he was overreacting, but he didn't know how to stop himself. He focused on the task of washing and peeling potatoes, then chopping tomatoes and onions, which was surprisingly relaxing. Edmund rejoined him in the kitchen about 15 minutes later and silently worked alongside him. Anthony knew it was rare to see his father upset and this was about as upset as he ever saw him.But it was hard to explain to anyone, including his therapist, why he was feeling so much worse lately. Starting high school had been hard. He had spent the summer swimming in the family's new pool and making music with his friends. On the surface, he was having a fantastic All-American summer, the perfect way to ease into high school, but inside, he felt completely jumbled.The things that he used to enjoy most didn't seem like they were as much fun. Swimming, which used to be exhilarating, just became a chore as he mindlessly plowed through the water. Even as he and his bandmates arranged sets for performances and practiced songs, he felt numb.Anthony found himself spending any time away from his friends shuttered in his room listening to the song "Killing Time" from the musical American Psycho and hoping that the numbness he felt would eventually go away. But it didn't and it followed him throughout his entire ninth grade year.When the school year started, even though he was given special permission to take an introductory course on robotics thanks to his advanced math curriculum in middle school, he found that robots didn't hold the same interest that they once did in elementary school. Even watching the MIT robotics competition this, drinking masala chai at the Sharmas (but notably without Kate) did not capture his interest in the way it once did. It isn't that he expected Kate to be there. She avoided him whenever they weren't required to be in the same class or partnered up for debate, but a small part of him held out a little bit of hope that this tradition of theirs would continue in spite of everything, especially after their sixth grade trip to Cambridge and their longtime plans to attend colleges in the same city.Anthony knew that he had erected a nearly impenetrable fortress around himself and covered it with prickly brambles to separate himself from Kate. That wasn't something she was just going to ignore, but a part of him still felt hurt when he arrived at the Sharmas for the annual MIT viewing event and was quietly informed by Mary that Kate had already made plans with Genevieve for the afternoon. Anthony told himself that this is exactly why he was no longer friends with Kate. They couldn't stand to be around each other and were happier on separate turf. He kept telling himself that. Over and over and over again until he could convince himself it was true.He also realized that Kate seemed to be excelling at everything she did. She was rapidly developing into a strong speaker and an skilled debater who could verbally fillet even his strongest arguments. He realized how much he enjoyed the thrill of debating her, even though he wouldn't admit it. It allowed them to talk to each other, communicate as his father would probably say, while still feeling the adrenaline rush of fighting and...well, something else. Anthony was self-aware enough to admit that he was attracted to Kate, but he knew it was much more than just a superficial attraction, even if he did have to force himself not to keep staring at her when she tossed her head of beautiful curls or narrowed her beautiful dark eyes at him during a particularly passionate debate.Yes, he reminded himself, there were multiple reasons why he needed to maintain space between himself and Kate Sharma. For his own sanity.What was equally hard is that as he saw Kate succeeding academically, socially and apparently becoming a famous Instagram influencer and model, he was feeling more unmoored when once he had been so sure of what he wanted to do in his future and the life plan he had plotted out for himself that included college, a career and Kathani Sharma, seemed to be crumbling in on itself.There was also a part of him that was sad that the rest of the world on Instagram didn't know the deeper and to him, more interesting truth about Kate. She was beautiful, of course. He had always known that, but there was even more to her. Her tens of thousands of Instagram fans had no idea that she was brilliant and that she was already connected with a neuroscientist at the University learning more about how the brain worked. Most people didn't know that she wanted to go to Harvard or that she was rapidly becoming an accomplished and competitive candidate who would likely succeed in whatever endeavor she attempted.Only Anthony knew that Kate was a total and complete nerd inside and he loved that about her.She was blossoming and everyone around her was noticing. Anthony still felt like a little boy trapped in a prepubescent body, the quintessential "90 pound weakling" despite the fact that he was doing some moderate weight training under the supervision of the high school trainer along with being on the swim team.Violet had taken him in for his annual check up with Dr. Mary Sharma, who in spite of everything that was happening with Kate, was one of Anthony's all-time favorite people and someone he trusted completely. Mary had done some blood tests and an x-ray since Anthony had not fully entered puberty but was still having a few noticeable changes. He was diagnosed with constitutional growth delay. Mary even had an endocrinologist at the children's hospital in the city review Anthony's medical record and she came to the same conclusion which was that Anthony was essentially a normal, healthy late bloomer. They did come up with a plan that if he didn't start developing over the next year, the endocrinologist would revisit the issue. It was not really very surprising given that Edmund had also been a late bloomer and that sometimes this ran in families. As reassuring as that was to Violet and Edmund, it did not quell the frustration in the pit of Anthony's stomach as he watched his best friends tower over him and start to look like adult men while he still felt like a little kid left behind.Mary had Violet step out for a bit so she could talk to Anthony privately and answer any questions he might feel too awkward to ask in front of his mother. Mary pointed out that with the Bridgerton's genetic body habitus and the amount of aerobic exercise Anthony got swimming competitively, he was unlikely to bulk up even with all of the weight lifting he started, much less resemble his friends on the wrestling team.She encouraged him to focus on all the great things he could DO with his body like endurance swimming rather than focusing on what it looked like or comparing it to other boys. He was at a different developmental stage than his friends, but it was still normal for him because there was a wide range of normal. For example, Kate was taller than almost every other girl in school, but she was just as normal as petite Edwina or anyone else.Anthony felt better after talking with Mary. He told her that he was continuing to work with his therapist, but that he still struggled to control some of his more intense feelings. He also told Mary that he was feeling more aimless and that he didn't enjoy the things he used to enjoy, but he wasn't sure if that just meant that he was growing and changing interests or if it meant something more serious. He admitted that he wasn't sure if he fit in anywhere and didn't really know what the future held for him anymore.Mary asked him if he had any thoughts of wanting to hurt himself. Anthony shook his head. "I would never do that," he said firmly.Mary was still concerned. She brought Violet back in to discuss getting Anthony more intensive therapy for what was increasingly looking like depression, something that Mary was seeing more in her young patients. She assured Anthony and Violet that this was something that they would work through together with a team of experts and that with help, things would not always feel this hard. They made a plan for safety to ensure that Anthony would let his parents or another trusted adult know if things felt like they were getting out of control even with the more intensive therapy.He knew that all of these things were contributing to making him more irritable than before. He knew he was taking it out on all the wrong people who did not deserve any of his ire. He did not begrudge Kate her success or her focus.Anthony just wished that he could feel as sure as he once did and as happy as he once did as he thought about his future. he knew that things would take time to feel better and to repair relationships, but he was willing to do the work and accept help from those who wanted to help him feel better.He knew that he would not be able to make up for his behavior over the last year, but he did feel that he owed Kate an apology and some peace. He knew it might be hard and awkward, but he had thought of the perfect song to perform at the elementary school. One that would just be for the two of them. An apology of sorts and maybe something to start rebuilding their relationship. He was not sure anyone would consider it a grand gesture, but he knew that Kate would understand when she heard it.He quickly texted a copy of the music and a YouTube video of the song to Tom, Will, Simon and Siena and told them to keep it a secret from everyone because he wanted it to be a surprise.Over the next several minutes, he received enthusiastic responses back from all of them about the song they would perform and he smiled a real smile to himself, the first he could remember in quite awhile.---PERFORMANCE DAYIn the weeks leading up to the performance, Anthony was extra careful around Kate. He did not go out if his way to either ignore or connect with her, but he did not provoke her or treat her with hostility. He was on a new therapeutic regimen that helped him feel more calm and less angry and sad, but he knew there was still a long way to go before he started feeling like himself again and he now held in his heart the hope that the performance might help start the healing process between them.As the ninth-graders piled onto the school bus to take them to the elementary school, Kate quickly found Siena to sit with and the girls happily chatted on the way as Anthony slipped into a seat beside Simon, who gave Anthony an all too knowing look after watching Anthony's eyes trail Kate all the way down the aisle to Siena's seat."Shut up!" Anthony told him, suppressing a grin and gently elbowing Simon in the ribs."I said nothing," replied Simon with a smirk. "Absolutely nothing."Once they arrived at the school, they filed into the cafeteria where all of the students from kindergarten through sixth grade were sitting in neat rows on the floor. Daphne was in her wheelchair off to the side with the rest of the 4th graders and Anthony saw Edwina right next to her, raised up on her knees and craning her neck to look for them and waving wildly once she caught his eye and then Kate's. They both waved back to the girls as their eyes scanned the crowd for the rest of the Bridgerton kids, including Eloise and Francesca who beamed at them from up front with the first graders and noting Colin and Benedict sitting at the back with the sixth graders, pretending to be too cool to acknowledge their high school brother and his friends.Simon and Kate were up first, doing a skit about two babies who meet each other for the very first time in the hospital nursery that left the kids in stitches of laughter. As they took their bows at the end, they could hear Edwina yell in a proud voice "That's my big sister! Hi, Kate!" along with extra loud cheers from Eloise and whistles from Colin and Benedict in the back as Francesca who kept clapping and smiling.Kate moved toward the side of the room where Ms. Trinh's kindergarteners were seated and she gave her former teacher a big hug as they both settled in to watch the rest of the performances from the Pop Choir to the Drama Club, all of which were well received by the audience and which Kate enjoyed seeing for the first time, cheering loudly for her fellow classmates after each one.Finally, it was time for "The Menace" to take the stage as the final performance. Siena and Anthony took their places in front and adjusted the microphones as Tom wheeled himself behind the keyboard and Will sat down behind the drum set and counted them down. Anthony deftly plucked the guitar strings for the intro as Siena prepared to sing the first lines."When we grow up, will I be pretty..." started Siena."Will I be big and strong?" Anthony joined in.Kate felt her breath catch in her throat."Will I wear dresses that show off my knees?""Will I wear trousers twice as long?"Kate covered her mouth with her hand for fear she might let out a loud sob as tears started to gather in her eyes despite her trying to furiously blink them back and keep them from falling."Well I don't care if I'm pretty at all.""And I don't care if I never get tall"Anthony turned slightly to lock eyes with Kate as he and Siena harmonized together on the chorus "We don't have to change at all."By this point, Kate's shoulders were shaking violently as she tried in vain to muffle her sobs. Ms. Trinh put a comforting arm around her and pulled her closer. Anthony looked distressed and looked away quickly to maintain his own composure and keep singing "When We Grow Up" from the vintage album "Free to Be, You and Me" with Siena. He had not anticipated the force of this reaction from Kate. He had wanted to make her happy, not sad."When I grow up, will I be a lady?" continued Siena.Anthony and Kate found their gazes connecting again when Siena sang:"When I grow up, I'm gonna be happy...""And do what I like to do," Anthony responded."Like making friends like you" they harmonized as Anthony's willed his eyes to remain fixed on Kate's to communicate everything he was feeling--apologies, regret, pleading, friendship, love, a wish for a second chance.As soon as the song ended and the band took their bows, Kate sas a number of teachers wiping tears from their eyes as well. Anthony caught Kate's eyes and silently mouthed "I'm sorry" to her. She returned his gesture with a watery smile and Anthony felt his shoulders relax as he smiled back at her.Before they left, all of the performers got a chance to say hello to any teachers or students they remembered from their days. It took Anthony a long time to get through all of the Bridgertons plus Edwina, who he always made sure to include.Kate could not help but notice that Edwina and the number of the other little girls in the audience were looking at Anthony with full on heart eyes. Kate had to wonder when grumpy, grungy Anthony started to have this effect on women. It was a little disconcerting, but she more than most, could certainly see why some might find his smile pleasing, even if it had been a long time since she had been on the receiving end of one of them. Kate knew that she had nothing to be jealous of, but a part of her felt that she was the one who belonged up there, singing that particular song with Anthony.It was right here in this school, in Ms. Trinh's kindergarten class where Kathani and Anthony had first met, first fought, first became friends, first shared joint custody of a hamster, first kissed after Anthony's candy promise ring proposal. This was their story. This was their song.As they lined up to reboard the bus, Anthony slipped in next to Kate."Hi," he said."Hi," she replied.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
10th grade (halfway through sophomore year of high school), age 15 yearsThe word sophomore is derived from a Greek phrase that means "wise fool."
"Seriously, Sharma? You've got to be kidding me!" groaned Anthony Bridgerton, unable to hide the all too amused smile on his face.Kate Sharma threw a pillow from the sofa where she was perched at her best friend who was sprawled out on his living room floor barefoot wearing a Dead Milkmen t-shirt and a pair of well-worn baggy jeans."Be nice, Anthony," Kate said in a warning tone. "Louie Lumley doesn't have a mean bone in his entire body." Ever since Anthony found out that someone had invited Kate to the Winter Homecoming dance, he had been pestering his friend to spill who it was, much to Kate's consternation. For the life of him, Anthony didn't understand why she wouldn't just come clean. He was going to find out soon enough at the dance this weekend, but he could tell Kate was a little bit embarrassed and he just couldn't resist being a little bit ornery and trying to wheedle the information out of her over the past week.In the end, it wasn't Kate who cracked, but their friend Simon Hastings-Bassett who got fed up with Anthony's obsessive prodding and teasing of Kate, which was distracting the entire group that was currently supposed to be choosing a book for a multimedia presentation for the Contemporary American Literature class that all sophomores were required to take. Simon finally let the cat out of the bag when it became clear that neither of his dear, but equally stubborn, friends was going to give the other the satisfaction of a win, and that no work would get done until the issue was put to rest.To everyone's surprise and Kate's great annoyance, instead of Anthony erupting in jealousy or anger, he started laughing hysterically. Kate shot Simon a withering look to which Simon responded with his hands up as if to say that he had no choice in the matter. Kate rolled her eyes and looked slightly embarrassed as Anthony began to choke slightly with the force of his continued laughter."Serves you right! This is why I don't tell you anything, Bridgerton," she snapped, as she kicked out one of her fuzzy cat sock covered feet and made contact with Anthony's leg, making him yelp despite the fact that there was no real malice behind it.Genevieve Delacroix rubbed her temples and wondered for the umpteenth time why she ever agreed to join a group that included both Anthony and Kate."Mon Dieu. Always something with these two. I need some water," Gen said, uncrossing her legs and getting up to head to the kitchen only to have 12 year old Benedict Bridgerton who had been pretending to do his homework nearby pop up from the dining table and offer to accompany her.Gen smiled indulgently at the normally shy young boy who had just started middle school with his fraternal twin brother, Colin. "Merci beaucoup, young Monsieur Bridgerton!" she said, eager to practice her expanding French vocabulary with the young boy who opted to join the new French immersion track at school and who tried to impress his older brother's friend whenever she visited.Gen pinched his cheek affectionately as Benedict blushed furiously and beamed up at her with his charming, slightly crooked smile. He scrambled to find the nice glassware for Genevieve that his mother kept in the display cabinet. After handing her a full glass of water and pushing his new glasses up his nose, Ben followed Gen back to the living room and plopped down beside her only to have his cranky eldest brother point toward the dining room and dismiss him with a stern monosyllabic order of "Homework!" without even looking up from his spot on the floor.Benedict huffed in irritation, but obeyed Anthony without a fight as he always did (unlike his twin brother, Colin, who lived to torment Anthony) and returned to his spot at the dining table, making sure he still had an unobstructed view of the older kids. Gen shook her head with a smile.Anthony's flopped onto his other side to give Gen an apologetic look. "I'm sorry my little brother is an idiot," he said in a low voice so sensitive Benedict wouldn't hear."He's a Bridgerton boy," Gen replied without missing a beat. "We all know what your lot is like when you're in love."Kate and Simon stifled giggles as Anthony was struck speechless for a rare moment before collecting himself and jumping up to stand and assume control of the meeting. "Ok, enough, everyone. We are here to make some decisions, so let's get to it," he said changing the subject."Finally!" groaned Simon.After some spirited debate in which Anthony argued that they should do a reading from Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies, Simon lobbied for James Baldwin's Notes of a Native Son, Gen campaigned for Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God and Kate made a case for The Autobiography of Malcolm X as told to Alex Haley, the group finally agreed on Malcolm X, in part because they could intersperse clips from the movie into their presentation to give the class the full multimedia experience.It was almost dinnertime, so Violet invited the whole group to stay over with an offer to drop everyone home afterwards courtesy of the Bridgervan, since no one was old enough to drive yet and the short winter days and long nights meant it was already pitch black outside. Edmund called them over to join the dinner assembly line with the rest of the family as Benedict ensured that he got to stand right next to Gen as they washed and tore up the lettuce for the dinner salad as Gen hid a smile watching Anthony mutter about brothers under his breath as he joined Kate to chop tomatoes and carrots while he continued to poke fun at her Homecoming date, speaking loudly enough for the entire kitchen to hear."You do realize I have a knife in my hand, Bridgerton," Kate said, refusing to look at Anthony's stupid grinning face."I have one as well, Sharma, and I believe I would make an excellent fencer. En garde!" replied Anthony tapping his knife blade lightly against hers. "Now back to your young man...Didn’t you once have a list of traits a boyfriend should have? Wasn’t half a brain one of them? How on earth does Lumley qualify? Or was that more of a preference than a requirement?”Anthony rubbed his chin, which had recently started to sprout some hairs, as he pretended to seriously ponder the question while Kate gritted her teeth in frustration, but Anthony was on a roll and showed no sign of stopping."Shut up, Ant," Kate said. "One, I was only thirteen and two, he is a sweet guy--I might even use the term gallant.""Of course he’s sweet, Sharma," said Anthony. "But he’s liable to pin you down for the entire evening just to read you terrible poetry that he wrote himself. The last time I talked to him, which was when mom invited the Lumleys over for tea, he spent 20 minutes rhapsodizing about his favorite kind of lemonade!"Gen's shoulders were shaking, but for her friend's sake she bit her lip as hard as she could to keep her laughter from escaping."TWENTY minutes!" Anthony continued. "Do you really want to hear his ode to lemonade? Because I hear he's been expanding it since we last spoke. I bet it's at least 10 pages now, FRONT AND BACK!"Everyone present was laughing at this point and Anthony was smirking at his victory, but Kate remained perfectly calm, knowing exactly which buttons to push when it came to Anthony."He is very handsome," Kate said with a lethal level of composure that normally would have shut down Anthony's goading, but he was too far gone as he barreled on wearing a very cocky, self satisfied grin."Honestly, you should just fake fainting, but the poor guy would probably think you swooned over his poem and keep talking," Anthony was wheezing now and Kate had the urge to chuck his albuterol inhaler at him."If I recall correctly," Kate said in her best debate team rebuttal voice as she prepared to go for the jugular, "I also said any future boyfriends should be taller than me."That got Anthony's attention and he stopped laughing, but he surprised everyone by reaching out to hook his arm around Kate's torso to pull her toward him, so they were standing toe to toe, as he turned the full power of his patented intense gaze on her and lowered his voice, which had over the last several months started to deepen considerably into a very pleasant baritone, not that Kate would admit to noticing."I believe I have finally caught up with you there," he said and added in a whisper, "Eye to eye" as he kept his arm around her, Kate noticing for the first time in such close proximity that Anthony had, in fact, reached the exact same height as her once she had finally stopped growing and he had finally started, shooting up a full six inches over the last six months.Suddenly Kate felt the room grow warm and apparently shrink several sizes, leading to silence for several moments, neither daring to break the spell between their perfectly level eyeline despite having an audience of 11 other people watching with rapt attention until 5 year old Gregory broke the spell by saying "Katie, come sit by me!""Of course, Greggie!" Kate replied with a smile, snapping out of her haze. "Now, who is going to eat the most vegetables tonight, you or me?""I'm gonna win!" declared Gregory, racing ahead to pull out Kate's chair next to his as Violet sent Kate a grateful wink from across the room and the others started bringing the food over to the table.Anthony remained where he was, blinking hard as if trying to wake from a trance. Kate was certain she heard him mumble "Crap!" under his breath. "Nice job, Bridgerton," he thought to himself with an audible sigh.Anthony had meant for his response to Kate's deliberate provocation to sound light and even a little self-deprecating, to show there were no hard feelings held over from middle school, but somehow all of his hormones and the proximity to Kate and her jasmine-scented shampoo had conspired against him during their banter over Lumley. Anthony wasn't really jealous of the poor guy, who even if he was unusually handsome according to girls who might into that kind of thing, he was still an utter dim bulb, who Anthony knew would never be a serious competitor for Kate's affections. Kate needed someone sharp and quick to match her wits. He knew that much like himself and all of his siblings, there was something in Kate that required a challenge. Kate would either eat Lumley alive or be bored out of her mind around him. Poor Lumley didn't stand a chance.Besides, he and Kate had finally regained some semblance of a normal, even functional, relationship this year, tacitly agreeing to remain platonic friends and not wading into anything with even a whiff of romance. It was easier this way. Simpler. They were both happier and less stressed. They could relax around each other enough to enjoy the other's company.And yet...in spite of the friendly (from Anthony's perspective) teasing tonight, something had reactivated between Kate and him, as it often threatened to. In the midst of taunting poor, sweet Lumley, which Anthony ALMOST felt bad about and deploying his own admittedly underdeveloped skills for charming women, he knew that he and Kate had landed somewhere between casual non-romantic teasing and a full on blaze of passion that neither seemed ready for. But Anthony smiled to himself as he found himself wondering if the look in Kate's eyes just now meant that maybe his charm skills were coming along better than he thought. Still, he reminded himself that he needed to be careful. Too much too fast would risk upsetting the delicate balance between friendship and something more that he and Kate had worked so hard to reestablish since the end of 9th grade.Anthony knew they were in a good place at the moment, where they could gently rib each other, have a comfortable vibe between them and generally keep the peace without wild swings in one direction or the other. His mood was good. His therapist felt he was stable enough to discontinue weekly therapy sessions. He was still struggling a little to find purpose and a new direction in terms of academics and future career, having realized that robotics was legitimately no longer a passion of his, not just an effect of his depression. But he was connected to the school guidance counselor who had arranged for some vocational aptitude and interest testing to see if that might help him explore new future careers.But overall Anthony was doing well. Swimming had become fun again. He had good friends. He had even gone on a couple of friendly dates with some of the girls at school. Kate also gone out with a few boys and he had managed not to implode. Neither had any serious relationships or the desire to pursue anything like that at the moment, but were comfortable enough to snark and debrief with each other after the fact, which is why Anthony had been so intent on learning why Kate had kept her upcoming date with Lumley a secret.---
FLASHBACKS FROM EARLIER IN 10TH GRADEAnthony did not particularly enjoy the rigmarole of dating, but it was a way to keep his mother from pestering him about having a social life outside school, as if his band, swimming and his friends didn't count. He knew Violet had very strong feelings about the role love and romance would play in her children's future. Violet had no idea that Anthony had sworn off the idea of love over a year and a half ago, but it was always fun to talk with Kate about his latest misadventures in dating and maybe the only real reason he didn't completely refuse Violet's interference in this area.For Heaven's sake, at Violet's behest, Anthony had even agreed against his better judgment to participate in a weeks long farce that mimicked a shortened British Regency era marriage mart season when he served as Cordelia Patridge's date to the local country club's Debutante Ball. He even put up with Violet's insistence that he wear dress shoes, no Birks, at any of the events, including dance rehearsals.Cordelia was nice, smart and funny enough for Anthony to invite her, of his own volition, to go to the movies with him, since the new Black Panther sequel was coming out and Kate was out of town at a runway show in Chicago on opening weekend. It was fun to find out that she also came from a large family and they bonded over the frustrations of being the eldest siblings of their respective broods, but the similarities ended when Cordelia shared that she had plans to have even more children than her mother by a combination of birth, fostering and adoption, but wasn't sure exactly when to stop. As much as Anthony loved his siblings, he fully intended to have a vasectomy after two children. Anthony lost interest after realizing that he couldn't date anyone who would likely be even more prolifically Bridgerton than the Bridgertons, but wasn't decisive enough to choose between the beef and seafood options at the Deb Ball dinner.Anthony even took Priya Eaton to the fancy ice cream place in town that just opened up after Priya's mother, who had already successfully married off her two eldest daughters, "just happened" to run into Violet outside one of the courses Violet taught and strongly suggested that a meet up between Anthony and Priya might be mutually beneficial, rendering even the formidably committed matchmaking Viscountess speechless.Priya was sweet, but intense. She was a hyper overachiever he remembered from Math Counts back in middle school and Science Olympiad from last year. Priya also played two instruments, but nothing he could work into his band, much to her dismay, and even gave him a homemade light blue crochet hat at the end of their date, which she insisted he put on immediately (which she then posted on instagram) since the fishing hat he had worn since the first day of high school was finally starting to disintegrate and smell, she added with a giggle in a conspiratorial whisper.Jinah Hallewell had asked Anthony to the Sadie Hawkins dance earlier that fall. Jinah was OK, but Anthony's biggest complaint about her was that she was still friends with Cressida Cowper. He also learned the hard way that her dancing skills were less than stellar as they kept bumping into each other on the dance floor, until Anthony finally lost his patience and dragged her off the floor during a dance to get some punch, claiming a dry throat. Also, even though she spoke French and Korean, Anthony was a little bit annoyed that she didn't think Spanish was important enough to the future of US-international relations and they had gotten into an argument with her eventually leaving him for Darnell Cho before the night ended.Meanwhile, Kate could count exactly one good date (but as many crazier ones as Anthony) she had with Freddie DasPrinz, the German exchange student who took her out for pizza and a movie the week before he returned home after his semester abroad. He was kind and engaging with Kate and genuinely considerate and friendly to everyone they encountered during the date. He had adorable blonde curls. He was also a perfect gentleman who he ended their pleasant evening with a firm handshake.Kate had gone to the Sadie Hawkins dance with Darnell Cho, who had grown into a much nicer guy than he was in seventh grade, but with whom Kate found she had very little in common, which became glaringly apparent well before the dance ended. She should have guessed that he would end up with Jinah Hallewell by the end of the night as Anthony wordlessly joined her on the bleachers with two glasses of lemonade that they clinked together before taking the first sip in perfect synchrony.Anthony and Kate sat quietly until they drained their glasses. Anthony stacked Kate's empty glass in his and set them off to the side as he leaned back onto the bleachers, balancing on his elbows before breaking the companionable silence between them.Anthony: So, how was your night?Kate: We ran out of things to talk about halfway through the second dance.Anthony: Why did you ask Cho anyway? You could've had your pick of guys.Kate: I think for closure. He isn't the same guy that he was when he was 12. He apologized back then and he even backed me up at a party back in middle school. I thought I owed him a chance.Anthony (nodding silently): He apologized to me too on the last day of our suspension. I wasn't ready to talk to him that soon afterwards, but he's been pretty decent since then. I don't think I'm ever going to forget what happened, but I won't hold it against him forever either.Kate: I know what you mean. I hate that every time I look at him, my first thought is what happened in seventh grade, no matter how much I try to push it away. it does not affect me in the same way, obviously, but it's still there. The memory is just too strong. Indelible. That's part of the reason I asked him tonight. I wanted to see if this would finally put it to bed, even though I don't think he's a bad guy at all.Anthony: It reminds me of something my dad told me recently. I'm not even sure where it's from, but in the olden days, my dad remember this email he got. They didn't have memes or things that went viral back then, but this email was kind of like that. Anyway, now you can just Google it instead of waiting for it to come via email."It's a story of a fence and this boy with a temper. The boy's dad didn't know how to get him to stop losing his temper and hurting the people around him. But one day, the dad had an idea that every time the boy said something hurtful to someone, his father made him hammer a nail into the fence."At the end of the year, there were so many nails in the fence. The boys father made him apologize to everyone he said something mean to and all the people forgave him. The boys father asked him to remove a nail every time someone said they forgave him."But what they realized at the end was that the fence was now full of holes and it would never be the same as it was before, even though the boy had tried to make it right. The moral of the story is that hurtful words and actions leave an impact that never really goes away," finished Anthony.Kate was thoughtful for a moment. She knew it was impossible to go through life without accidentally ever even intentionally hurting anyone else, but the story gave her some perspective and made her think more about the impact of words and actions then just the intention behind them.Kate: Edmond is pretty wise. You're lucky to have him.Anthony: He's the best man I know. I could never be as good as he is.Kate (thoughtfully): Well, no...Anthony: Rude!Kate (playfully elbowing him): Gee, I wonder why Edmund decided to tell YOU that particular story, Ant.Anthony: Hush, you. I'm trying to be vulnerable here and share my feelings with you, so be nice, Sharma.Kate: What I mean to say is that you can never be Edmund Bridgerton. You are setting up an impossible standard for yourself. You just have to be the best Anthony you can be. And you're a really good guy, Anthony, even more than you realize.Anthony was silent.Kate laughed suddenly."But I did see you dip out on Jinah right in the middle of "Mr. Brightside" earlier tonight. Is that what a gentleman does, Anthony?" asked Kate."It is when the alternative is a broken toe or two," Anthony gritted out.They both laughed."So do you think it's safe to ask your mom if she could drop me home, too, without getting her hopes up?" Kate asked.Anthony laughed again. "I'm quite experienced in managing Violet Bridgerton's expectations, thank you very much," he said as he offered Kate his jacket to keep her warm as they made their way outside and he slung a friendly arm around her shoulders."Dating is not worth it," said Anthony."Definitely not," Kate replied.Several minutes later, a positively radiant Violet Bridgerton picked up the two of them from the school entrance as Anthony audibly groaned, removed his glasses and put his head in his hands for the rest of the ride home as Violet chattered animatedly with Kate who reached over to offer Anthony a comforting forearm squeeze before catching Violet's delighted look in the rearview mirror and carefully pulling her arm back.Anthony leveraged his experience at Sadie Hawkins to keep his mother from making any further dates on his behalf. When Violet tried the counterargument that the night had ended with Kate, which was an even better outcome, Anthony briefly considered conjuring up a fake dating scam with Kate just to throw his mother off the scent, but he had a feeling that could spectacularly backfire, so he congratulated himself on holding his tongue and cutting his losses.Meanwhile, even after Kate had resolved to eschew the dating game for the foreseeable future, she did agree to one more date after the Sadie Hawkins fiasco, only because of the person who invited her. Tom Dorset called the week after the dance to ask if she would meet him at Dairy Queen. Kate felt a little strange about it because even though she and Tom were good friends, she always suspected that he might have liked her for awhile or at least at one point, but kept his distance out of respect for her feelings for Anthony.But this was awkward new territory if she and Anthony were firmly NOT in any sort of romantic relationship and had each gone on a handful of hilariously bad dates with other people that they always discussed with each other afterwards, but there was still a weird friend group dynamic hanging over everything. Was this a violation of Girl Code, Boy Code, Friend Code or whatever code? Kate honestly didn't have any romantic feelings for Tom, but she didn't feel that was something she could tell him by text or even a phone call, so she steeled herself for an awkward but necessary conversation as she planned to let her friend down easily.Kate very quickly and rather embarrassingly learned after Tom rolled up to the table where she was sitting at DQ that this clearly was not a date--Tom had just failed to mention that detail in the beginning. Tom ended up confiding that even though he had nursed a crush on Kate for years, his attentions had more recently turned to Siena, specifically after the performance at the elementary school last year. He also believed she felt the same way about him, but both of them had been friends first and didn't want to ruin anything, so they were being very tentative around each other. He asked Kate if she had any tips on how he might woo Siena.Luckily, they both laughed about the misunderstanding afterwards as they waited for Tom's mom to pick them up until Tom, who was still catching his breath from the laughter, let it slip that between Simon and himself, there was apparently a pact in which Kate had been declared permanently off limits due to her ever-changing relationship with Anthony.Kate was furious. It was one thing for her to have her own jumbled feelings about Anthony and even the whole dynamic of dating someone other than him within their tightknit group of friends, but it was quite another for someone to unilaterally decide that she was "off-limits" as if she were a piece of property to be passed around amongst the menfolk. Kate wanted to vomit.Without another moment to pause, Kate dialed Anthony's number and as soon as he picked up, she loudly proceeded to give him an earful while she and Tom were still in the DQ parking and Tom politely mouthed apologies to all the shocked customers entering and leaving the eatery. On the phone, a very surprised but increasingly angry Anthony insisted that he knew nothing about any such pact and that he would never demean Kate by likening her to chattel."I am a feminist, Kate!" he screamed as Kate held her phone away from her ear."Then act like one!" she had yelled back and hung up on him.Minutes later, as Kate silently fumed next to Tom in the Dorset's accessible van, her phone lit up with a text from Anthony asking her to let him make it up to her (even though it wasn't his fault, he emphasized in the message) by taking her to back to DQ as friends later that same day and going Dutch to prove to her "what a true feminist I am." So Mrs. Dorset ended up doing a U-turn to drop Kate back off at DQ as she waited with her arms crossed in her mouth and a tight line for an extremely harried looking Edmund to drop off Anthony whose stance and facial expression matched Kate's perfectly.Edmund popped his head out of the window to wave to Kate before saying to both of them "I don't have time to ask for an explanation and frankly, I don't even want to know what's going on. Just promise me there will be no blood drawn and call me when you're done," before tearing out of the parking lot to pick up Daphne from her adaptive ballet class, Benedict from his art class and Eloise and Francesca from the library.As soon as Edmund left, Anthony rounded on Kate. Anthony: Why are you even yelling at me? I had nothing to do with this. If anything, you should be yelling at Tom and Simon. They came up with the stupid pact.Kate: But it's because of you. Both of them are perfectly reasonable people who wouldn't have had to act this way if not for you. You are responsible!Anthony: That's ridiculous!Kate: You're ridiculous!Anthony: You are the one insisting I be held responsible for something I didn't even do!Kate: Must you always?Anthony: I am trying to apologize, I might add, for something I did NOT do.Kate: And this is you compromising?Anthony: Can't you ever just agree so we can stop screaming at each other?Kate: I'm sure this is really hard for someone like youAnthony: Someone like me? What does that mean?Kate: Someone used to giving orders!Anthony: I do not give orders.Kate: Yes you do. You order your siblings around all the time. I'm not one of your little siblings. You can't give me orders and expect me to listen.Anthony: Well, perhaps you should listen.Kate: I will never listen to anyone with whom I wholeheartedly disagree.Anthony: Then listen to yourself! this is madness!Kate: Stop ordering me around!Anthony: Then stop yelling at me for something I didn't do!Kate: Fine! You didn't do it, but you're still the reason it happened.Anthony: Kate, what do you want from me? I'm here. I'm trying to apologize. I'm trying to make it up to you, whatever this thing was that I don't even completely understand. Look, we can go round and round and never get anywhere, so what's really going on? What is all of this about?Kate deflated and the whole story of her non-date with Tom, her lack of romantic feelings for him, the embarrassment and all the angst it caused ahead of time came tumbling out. To his credit, Anthony laughed for less than 5 seconds before quickly composing himself and wrapping his arms around Kate."Dorset's an idiot around girls. Always has been. But I'm sorry, Sharma. That really sucks, even if it does make a memorable addition to our Dating Hall of Horror stories," he said.Kate laughed in spite of herself and explained that she wasn't even upset about the date/non-date itself because she never had those kind of feelings for Tom, but the fact that she still didn't have a single positive dating experience because she decided that a man fleeing the country days after a single date with her could not possibly count as a good date. She wondered out loud if maybe the universe was telling her to just quit now and join a convent like Mother Teresa."Don't give up yet, Sharma," said Anthony. "There's always the option of an arranged marriage. I've been talking to Will Mondrich about ALL of his options as someone who wants to eventually marry a woman and have kids, but never date. It behooves you to keep all non-dating options open.""Have you forgotten that I'm Indian, dude?" Kate parried. "We have a whole arranged marriage industry serving a population of over 1 billion people in the Indian subcontinent-professional matchmakers, biodata, matrimonial ads, horoscopes. but literally nothing holds a candle to the 'Old Indian Auntie Network.' They are the elite MVPs of the sport. Boy, please...""Violet Bridgerton would fit in perfectly. Sorry, I'm just a basic British boy, a colonizer in the new world learning the ways of all its people," he answered in riposte with a chuckle.And that is how Anthony and Kate ended up splitting a single order of fries and one banana between them as they both marveled over how completely clueless they had been over the last several months about the growing attraction between their friends. Anthony even went back inside to get a soda because all the yelling had made them both thirsty. Kate reached into her purse and asked how much she owed him for the drink, but Anthony put her hand on hers to push away the money."My treat, Sharma. To make up for your disastrous non-date with Dorset," he said as he passed the drink to her first and she passed it back to him for a long sip, trading off between them just as they had with the fries only realizing as they finished that there had only been one straw the entire time. An awkward moment passed between them until Anthony broke the tension by fishing a single, possibly expired condom out of his wallet and holding it up with a straight face for Kate to inspect with recognition dawning on her face as she tried to contain her laughterKate: Is that...the one from...?Anthony (nodding soberly): The very one.Kate: Oh my God. Eighth grade. It was supposed to be right here, wasn't it?Anthony: Would you like to do the honors or should I?Kate: The only way to do it is together, Ant.Anthony dutifully removed the specimen, unrolled it and held the open top out for Kate who just as dutifully stuffed the banana peel inside and watched Anthony drop the package in the nearest garbage can.Kate (mock solemnly): Here's to the date that never was.Anthony (mock seriously): And all the dates that never were.Kate (giggling and raising her hand in salute): Here's to arranged marriages and never dating again!Anthony: Hey, Sharma?"Yeah," replied Kate, turning to face Anthony only to be caught by surprise by his lips on hers as one of his hands slipped behind her head to pull her closer for a few moments before letting go.Anthony's face was impassive."Here's to the kiss that never happened on the date that never was," he said softly as he turned to face forward and slipped both hands into the pockets of his jacket as they waited for Edmund and exactly half of the Bridgerton siblings to pick them up.Kate was stunned, but she walked up next to him and quietly slipped one arm into his and waited beside him as they leaned against each other.Siena and Tom became insta-official not long after the DQ disaster and Kate and Anthony never again spoke of what might have been at the DQ.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
MIDWAY THROUGH 10th GRADE (sophomore year)- AGE 15 YEARS
(Picking up back at the Bridgerton home for dinner after the gang has been working on their group project. It is the time just before the flashback that ended the previous chapter)"I want to sit on Katie's lap!" cried 5-year-old Gregory Bridgerton. "If Hyacinth gets to sit on Anthony's lap, I get to sit with Katie!"Anthony Bridgerton grinned and shook his head at the utterly charming audacity of his younger brother as he simultaneously tried to settle his wiggling 3-year-old sister, Hyacinth, on his lap. He had one arm secured firmly around her torso and the other working to keep her fed and prevent her from grabbing peas from her plate to throw at Gregory."A gentleman asks permission, Gregory," said Anthony. "Miss Sharma is our guest. You wouldn't want her to think you're rude, now would you?"Gregory pouted at Anthony, but quickly straightened his back and turned the full force of his little doe eyes and long eyelashes toward Kate Sharma, who was sitting to his right. "Katie, may I please sit on your lap? It isn't fair that Hyacinth gets all the fun just because she's the youngest," he pleaded.Kate giggled and scooped a delighted Gregory off his chair and onto her lap. "Of course you can sit with me, Greggie, since you are my favorite Bridgerton after all."Gregory positively beamed as Kate shot Anthony a smug look to which he rolled his eyes good-naturedly and smiled at her, feeling a warmth envelop him as he watched how naturally and lovingly Kate indulged his youngest siblings and cared for his sometimes chaotic family as if they were her own.Kate tickled Gregory on his tummy after he proudly showed her his empty plate with not a single pea or stalk of broccoli left. As Kate looked up again, she accidentally caught Anthony's warm gaze directed straight at her. Anthony's eyes widened briefly in embarrassed recognition that he was still baldly staring at her before he looked away to focus his attention back on Hyacinth."Hyacinth," said Anthony in an effort to shake off the pregnant moment between Kate and himself, "Do you want to sing everyone the song I taught you?"Hyacinth clapped her hands in delight and clambered to stand up in her footie pajamas right on Anthony's lap. In her eldest brother's firm hold, Hyacinth burst into song:"Three little wheels on a tricycle
Are better than two on a bicycle.
It's ever so easy to ride, you know
Just push on the peddles and off you go!"Violet gasped. "Anthony, that's from the ABC record we used to play for you back in London. I thought it was left behind. However did you find it?""There's this thing called YouTube, Mom," smirked Anthony."Don't be cheeky, Ant," said Violet. "I'd send you upstairs if I weren't so touched that you discovered it again. That record goes back almost three whole generations. Your father and I learned the alphabet in primary school thanks to that record. Edmund, do you remember?""I'm quite certain I can still sing all 26 songs if pressed," recalled Edmund fondly. "The question is how did Hyacinth pick up the song so quickly. I was at least five before I started memorizing the words.""It was last Saturday afternoon when Hyacinth wasn't feeling well and I stayed home to watch her while everyone else was at Frannie's piano recital," explained Anthony."I managed to 'permanently lose'" -- he said in a whisper as he covered Hyacinth's ears-- "the Baby Shark song, for my own sanity, but she was so sad and I felt awful for her, so I just searched for the first thing that popped into my head, which was 'My Own ABC Record' and I put it on for her."Hyacinth had listened to the entire album with rapt attention, dancing and imitating the words in the songs, but her favorite one was "T is for Tricycle" because of the book Anthony had read to her earlier with a shiny red trike in it.Anthony explained that she had insisted on listening to that song over and over again to the point that on the umpteenth play with him repeating the words for her, she had simply burst out singing along, much to his amazement."That's remarkable!" said Kate. "She learned the whole thing in just one afternoon with you, Ant?""Don't look so surprised, Sharma," said Anthony. "I happen to be a great teacher and Hyacinth happens to be a young genius. Isn't that right, Hy?" he said cuddling her and kissing the top of her head, making Hyacinth squeal happily."Sing more!" Hyacinth commanded."OK, Hy. Let's show Auntie Kathani what else you learned," prodded Anthony.Kate felt her heart catch as Anthony seemingly subconsciously slipped into using her given Indian name as he addressed Hyacinth. Family and friends rarely ever called her Kathani anymore, but Kate always took notice when they did, especially when it was by Anthony. Since 8th grade, whether or not he realized it, Anthony's use of names and nicknames for her was predictable according to his mood and the situation."Sharma" was what he usually called her in normal conversation, although she noticed it had a certain lilt to it when he was teasing her or they were in the middle of an intense but invigorating debate. "Kate" was a red flag that he only used when he was really upset with her. But "Kathani" was reserved for special moments, especially tender ones, almost as if it was an endearment, so for him to use her special name when talking to his youngest sister was something that sent an electric current through her.Between "Auntie Kathani," Anthony's lingering gaze across the table and the moment earlier when he pulled her close to compare their now matching 5 foot 10 inch heights, this evening had been considerably more confusingly emotionally charged than any other Kate had in recent memory.The last time she had felt this level of simultaneous warmth and tension emanating from Anthony was after the surprise kiss he gave her at the Dairy Queen a few months ago just after her ill-fated non-date with Tom Dorset who had recently declared his love for Siena Rosso.Young Hyacinth, however, was quite unaware of the slowly unfurling but unacknowledged sentiment between her eldest brother and his best friend, but was very aware that she was currently the center of attention in a household where the youngest rarely ever got to be center stage. She plopped back down to sit facing Anthony on his lap. With her back braced against the table edge, she and Anthony did a simplified version of the hand game "Miss Mary Mack" with Hyacinth missing only a couple of the moves as Anthony patiently slowed down and modeled the correct moves for her to try again.The assembled group erupted in cheers for the little girl, as she clapped for herself and Anthony beamed like a proud parent. Meanwhile, not to be outdone and knowing that the only person in a family of 10 who got less attention than the youngest was the second youngest, Gregory announced to everyone that he was learning to read in kindergarten this year. He said that Anthony had been teaching him, so he qualified for special reading enrichment classes with Mrs. Mohammad-Mondrich, Will and Layla's mother, who had been Kate and Anthony's reading enrichment teacher in kindergarten as well.Kate knew that this past summer, every evening after a long relaxing day hanging out at the Bridgerton pool, Gregory would come running out of the house to drag Anthony back inside to read him a bedtime story and point out words that he could learn. Anthony would pretend to protest leaving all of his friends poolside, but would dutifully pull a T-shirt on over his swim trunks and allow Greg to pull him by the hand back inside. It never took more than half an hour for Gregory to fall asleep at which point Anthony would shuffle back out in the twilight and take up his usual spot on the lounge chair closest to wherever Kate was and enjoy time among friends and family until the sun finally set and everyone went home for the night.Kate could not get over how much Gregory reminded her of Anthony at that age, especially when he brought her a pretty daisy from Violet's garden that evening and blushed when she promised him she would press and preserve as soon as she got home so she could always remember his gift.But now, as Kate was preparing to go to Winter Homecoming with Louie Lumley, she couldn't help but notice how often Anthony looked at her from across the dinner table, since his usual spot next to Kate had been traitorously usurped by his youngest brother."So, is everyone excited about Winter Homecoming this weekend?" Violet asked the group.Simon was taking Cordelia Patridge. Gen had been asked by Andrew Ambrose, which made Benedict frown. Everyone there already knew Kate and Lumley were going together, thanks to Anthony's earlier teasing, but Anthony himself remained resolutely silent as Violet looked at him expectantly."Dearest..." Violet started tentatively. "What are your plans?"Anthony popped a grape into his mouth and chewed deliberately slowly. "Quality time with the family," he replied evenly."Are you sure you wouldn't have more fun at the dance? With your friends? As a group?" Violet asked, hoping that Anthony's friends might be more effective at persuading him to attend with the group, but knowing that no one could force Anthony to do anything against his will thanks to the legendary Bridgerton Brother stubbornness Violet saw emerge early in her three oldest sons."I don't have a great track record for having fun at dances," Anthony retorted. "Besides, I already promised Greg and Frannie we could have a Dance Dance Revolution battle.""That sounds fun," chimed in Kate, wanting to support Anthony and head off any further embarrassing prodding from Violet.Even quiet Francesca piped up with "Ant is going to teach us 90's dance moves!"Anthony shot grateful smiles at his little sister and friend as Violet thankfully dropped the subject for the moment, but something told Anthony that this was not the end of the discussion. Violet Bridgerton was clearly in planning mode and he shuddered to think what she had in mind.It wasn't like he didn't have fun. He also found it a little insulting to be told that his version of fun was somehow inadequate by someone else's measure.After losing his best friend at one dance and being dumped for someone else at another, Anthony didn't see much point in going to one more, knowing he would probably spend most of the evening glowering at Kate and Lumley, which would not be fun for anybody. He still cared about Kate and truly wanted her to have a good time, but wasn't sure he could stomach a couple of hours watching her dancing with someone else while he was stuck, well, dancing on his own like that Robyn song.Anyway, he would rather spend time with his youngest siblings who seem to be growing up way too fast for their own good, certainly faster than he or any of the older ones had. Anthony also had a strong feeling that he might need to gently impart some older brother wisdom upon Gregory who already seemed to be following in Colin's charming footsteps to ensure that neither of younger Bridgerton boys became casual sexual harassers as they got older. The little Casanova needed to learn a bit of restraint when it came to crushing on a girl, as he had already laid claim to Anthony's usual seat beside Kate, thought Anthony, half in irritation and half in awe.Edmund cleared his throat. "I'm glad that all of you stayed for dinner tonight, because I wanted to share some good news about an old friend of yours. Marina Thompson and her family are moving back to town. The last few years have meant a lot of moves for them as they worked towards becoming US citizens, but the process is finally complete and Mr. Thompson has a new job here."They are hoping to finally settle down in a place that had such good memories for them. I know it's been a while since you last saw Marina in kindergarten, but it's hard to move to a new place after high school is almost half over. I'm counting on all of you to help her get settled and make new friends. The Thompsons are coming over to our place for dinner this Saturday night. I know it's right before the dance, but the rest of you are welcome to join us to say hello as well.""Marina's coming back!" cried Kate. "That's great news!""I'm so excited to see her again," added Gen excitedly."Me, too," said Anthony quietly, as Violet looked at him again with a look of concern.---The next couple of days passed in a flurry of excitement as Kate and Genevieve put the finishing touches on their homecoming dresses on Saturday afternoon and posted moments from their live preparation throughout the week on Gen's company Instagram page, which garnered a lot of interest from their followers.The girls headed over to the Bridgertons that evening to greet Marina and her family. Simon couldn't make it, as the Patridges had already invited him to family dinner at their place, but he promised to meet them at the dance and introduce Marina to Cordelia. They asked Edmund ahead of time if Marina would be interested in coming to the dance with them so she could meet some of the other kids in school before officially starting on Monday morning. They had not yet heard back since the Thompsons were still traveling cross country in a U-Haul at the time, but Edmund promised he had passed on the message. The girls decided to bring a few extra dresses from their closets and the company's new collection just in case Marina wanted to go and needed something to wear since all of her clothes would still be packed up.They arrived early at the Bridgertons as Violet oohed and aahed over their customized dresses and took plenty of photos and videos. Kate looked resplendent in a sage green dress with gold embroidery and a matching dupatta (scarf) while Gen was radiant in a light peach gown with accents in Kente cloth. Daphne was equally impressed by the dresses while Eloise looked up briefly, gave them a polite smile and nod, then went back to reading her book. Anthony was downstairs in the family room with Benedict, Colin, Gregory and Francesca playing DDR.Edmund was just taking the lasagne out of the oven when the doorbell rang.Marina was the first person they saw, standing in the doorway, looking tired but smiling and wearing a weathered Metallica t-shirt tucked into fitted black denim pants. Her natural hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her curly bangs were dyed a deep purple. Her round cheeks were rosy against her cafe au lait skin as she took in the sight of her earliest friends in all their homecoming finery as they all embraced loudly and happily for the first time in nearly a decade.The happy commotion brought Anthony and his siblings upstairs from the family room, his jaw dropping unsubtly as he saw a very grown up Marina smiling warmly at him along with Kate and Gen with their arms wrapped around either side of her."At least I don't feel underdressed anymore," joked Marina as she noted Anthony's untucked Def Leppard shirt and dark relaxed jeans and moved forward to give her old friend a hug. "It's good to see you again, Anthony.""You, too," Anthony replied, still a bit stunned at the sight of his once painfully shy kindergarten buddy as he returned her embrace.More greetings were exchanged as Violet called everyone into the dining room for dinner. As the group enjoyed Edmund's famous spinach lasagna, Kate noticed how much more confident and relaxed Marina was. She had grown into a stunning young woman. She still remembered how shy, quiet and traumatized one of her first best friends had been in kindergarten and all of the difficulties her family had to go through with immigration and her mother's deportation, but she was happy to see that the family had been reunited and that after a very long, arduous journey, they could finally focus on putting down roots together as a family.Violet asked Marina what she had been up to in recent years. Marina discussed how her personal and family experiences had informed her priorities and that she had found her voice in speaking up for immigration rights specifically and human rights around the world, especially relating to women and children. She explained how it's not always easy to speak up, and that even her family worried if being too outspoken might affect their pathway to citizenship, but how they had always supported her activism unconditionally. Marina looked around the table gratefully, with tears in her eyes at her mother, father and grandmother Fabiola. She pointed out that she wanted her younger siblings to never feel afraid to speak up and that as the eldest, she knew it was her responsibility to set an example for them as well as make things better for everyone who came after her."That's amazing," breathed Anthony admiringly. "You've already had such an impact."Marina smiled. "One of the reasons we came back is that we had such wonderful memories of everyone here. The way your father helped us navigate all the legal paperwork and find my dad a job that would sponsor him for permanent residency and of course just being in school with all of you was the best part of a difficult time when my mom wasn't with us. I've never forgotten that and how you helped me when I had a panic attack on International Day at school," she finished as she looked directly at Anthony, who blushed slightly and tried to shrug off the compliment."You know, dear," said Violet to Marina. "I realize you literally just landed back in town and you must be tired after the long journey, but the girls here came prepared just in case you were interested in attending the Winter Homecoming dance tonight. It might be nice to meet some of your fellow classmates before school starts. You'd be with the whole group again. Are you feeling up for it?"Kate and Genevieve nodded excitedly and pleaded with Marina to join them at the dance. They explained that they brought a few dresses they had customized themselves in case she needed an outfit.Marina's grandmother smiled fondly at the girls, remembering how even at a young age, the group would always rally around each other when it came to helping a friend.Marina, on the other hand, looked a bit torn. "I'm not really big on school dances. I usually avoid them. It just seems like a lot for one night and, anyway, I wouldn't want to be a fifth wheel.""You wouldn't be a fifth wheel," piped up Anthony." You can come with me...as friends, if you'd like."Marina still looked hesitant, but appeared to be considering Anthony's offer, until Gen and Kate forcibly gathered her up and took her upstairs to try on dresses. Violet looked absolutely delighted and tried to catch Anthony's eye as he flatly refused to meet his mother's gaze and stabbed a piece of lasagne with his fork as if it had personally offended him.---Upstairs, Marina still felt ill at ease and protested as Gen and Kate held up dresses. Marina sighed and sat down on Daphne's bed."It's not that I don't appreciate it or that I don't think it would be fun to hang out with you guys tonight. I would really love to, but this really isn't my scene," explained Marina. "Besides, I had a boyfriend back home named George and leaving him and everything just makes me sad, even though I'm happy to be back and to see all of you again. I just hope this will be our last move.""Anyway, it would feel weird to wear one of these dresses. I'm not exactly the same size as either one of you and I would rather be comfortable in my own clothes than trussed up like a prize calf for auction. No offense to your designs. They're beautiful. It just isn't my style and I don't want to feel like anyone's charity project...or charity date...""You are no one's charity date!" came a deep voice from the other side of the door, causing everyone to startle.Anthony knocked on the door. "Is everyone decent? Can I come in?"Marina nodded at Kate who opened the door as Anthony walked in with one hand covering his glasses. Kate reached over and pulled his hand down to reveal his still closed eyes."You can open your eyes, Ant," said Kate with a laugh. "Nothing scandalous to see here.""Marina," Anthony said in a firm voice and a twinkle in his warm brown eyes that made Marina believe he was completely sincere as he sat down cross-legged on the floor directly in front of her, "You would be doing ME the charity, if you will, by letting me escort you to the dance tonight. It would get my mother off my back and besides, we're old friends and panic attack survivor buddies."He linked his pinkie finger with hers, making her smile in spite of herself."If you'll have me, Metallica and Def Leppard will get a long awaited collaboration. You don't have to change anything about yourself tonight. We'll go together. Just as we are, as long as you don't mind me wearing my Birks to a dance," he grinned. "What do you say?"Marina laughed. "OK, but I'm not responsible if you get frostbite," she agreed.Kate and Genevieve were thrilled, but also took a moment to apologize to Marina."We didn't mean to make you feel like anything less than you are. You're our friend, too, never our charity. We were just so excited to hear that you were coming back and wanted to make sure you would come with us tonight so we could spend the evening getting to know you again and introducing you to everybody," said Kate."You don't have to wear one of our dresses and your personal style is fabulous!" added Gen. "But remember, there are certain perks to having friends with a fashion business and we can always customize things to make them feel more like you in the future. That's our whole specialty!""That sounds great!" said Marina. "I'd like that a lot.""Besides, we could always use another gorgeous model to show off our line, if you're interested. You'd be doing US a favor and who says there should be any limits on a woman's ambition?" finished Gen, embracing Marina again as Kate joined in the group hug.Marina promised to check out their designs on insta and help collaborate in the future to ensure inclusivity in personal style and sizing, so every young woman could fully enjoy and feel like herself in Gen's Creations."Now that that's sorted, shall we?" Anthony offered as he did a quick twirl in front of the girls and offered Marina his arm as Kate and Gen gave them a thumbs up.---Violet dropped off the teens at the dance and promised to drop everyone back home as Edmund went to lie down after developing a headache after everyone left. To Violet's credit, her eyes widened and blinked, but she didn't criticize Anthony's attire or footwear for the dance, though Gen, Kate and Marina teased him all the way there about how impossible Birks would be to dance in ("like anvils on your feet" howled Gen) and how his teeth were already chattering as he refused to wear a coat and warm socks on principle ("frostbite already setting, Ant?" poked Kate).At the dance, Louie Lumley made a beeline for Kate and placed a matching corsage on her wrist, quickly whisking her away from her friends after greeting everyone and moving toward the dance floor. Simon was already dancing with Cordelia, but he offered a bright smile and a wave from the dance floor. Gen found Andrew Ambrose and floated off towards him, leaving Marina who caught Anthony frowning as he watched Kate and Lumley."Sooo...are you going to tell me what's up with all of that?" Marina asked Anthony, grinning knowingly. "Am I part of your plan to make Kate jealous? Because clearly, that's going swimmingly."Anthony had the grace to look embarrassed. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Marina," he started. "That's not why I asked you to come. Really."Anthony gestured toward the refreshment table, then he and Marina sat down on the bleachers appropriately laden with snacks and punch to talk."I'm sorry to lay right into you," started Marina, "especially since I've only been back in town for a couple of hours, but I really don't understand what gives here. You and Kathani--Kate--used to be thick as thieves all through kindergarten. I realize people grow and change, but the two of you were really something else. Something very special. I just assumed you'd be together now as a couple.""It's complicated," said Anthony. "Kate and I don't have...that kind of relationship. We almost did, but we don't.""But you clearly want to..." added Marina."It doesn't matter what I want," said Anthony stoically, looking down into his cup of punch.Marina put a comforting hand on Anthony's arm."I don't think that's true," she said quietly. "One thing I've learned over the years, is that feelings like these have a way of coming to the surface. It doesn't do you any good to keep them bottled up inside. Even if you think you're doing it for the benefit of someone else or to spare yourself from hurt, not acknowledging or talking about this can have unexpected effects.""So it's that obvious," he said, more as a statement than a question as Marina nodded sympathetically.Anthony's ears turned scarlet, making them appear to stick out more than normal, even in the dimmed lighting at the dance. He told Marina a little bit about what prompted the first separation in middle school and then again in ninth grade, how his mom tried to get him to date other girls as a way to both cheer him up and distract him from feeling so lonely without having Kate in his life. He talked about how no one ever measured up to Kate, in big ways like the way she cared for her sister and all of his siblings as well as in stupid little ways like girls who spoke multiple languages but not Spanish like he and Kate did. He even let it spill out that he was so worried about damaging his seemingly tentative current friendship with Kate that he was afraid to push for anything more that might upend their delicate status quo."I know what it feels like to worry about everything falling apart," said Marina. "It's not the same situation and I'm not trying to equate our respective experiences, but I think about how I have not had a panic attack in years and I realize that I started to heal not just after our family was reunited following my mother's deportation or even after we finally got permanent residency, but it was when I started talking about my experience instead of being scared or ashamed of what happened to us. It helped to share it with others, to find solidarity and compassion. Part of it was just acknowledging the pain of it happening, then feeling seen and heard, but part of it was also the power and ripple effect of educating others so that they could also speak up about injustice and take action."Anthony nodded and squeezed Marina's hand as she continued."It doesn't happen magically or quickly, but we were still really lucky that Mr. Bridgerton was able to use his connections to bring my mom back to us. I don't ever want to sanitize the experience because there were times when it was awful, before and after, but at least afterwards, my family was together again and when my other grandma died a couple of years ago, we were all able to be there with her, so her last moments were spent surrounded by family instead of alone or separated with her back in Haiti.""I am so sorry. I feel so bad about what you had to go through, Marina," whispered Anthony. "I feel guilty and ungrateful even complaining about my problems to you when it's nothing like what you had to deal with.""You don't have to feel guilty, Anthony," said Marina. "We all have different challenges and we can't compete, compare or equate. It's OK for you to feel sad or frustrated because of your situation even if you have a solid supportive family and that your family and Kate's had a very different immigration experience than mine. It doesn't mean you don't have problems or that you don't need support and help for those problems."Even though I haven't had a panic attack in several years, the memory is with me and I still worry about losing family members, not just from deportation but for any reason. I think I worry about them dying or getting hurt more than the average person and that's just a part of my reality that gets worse under stress and certain other times, but it doesn't consume my whole life anymore and for that I am grateful."I am not sure I will ever feel completely settled or comfortable. We always keep more than half our belongings in boxes just because we feel we need to be prepared to move again, even though my dad says that we moved back here because it was the place with the best memories and a community where he hopes we can set down roots permanently and call home, but a part of me keeps wondering in the back of my mind if we will still keep half of our boxes packed, just in case. Nothing feels permanent to me because nothing has ever lasted for very long before, good or bad," finished Marina."I wish I could help," said Anthony. "I'm not sure how, but for right now, I can be here for you.""Thanks, Anthony," said Marina. "Whew! That was a lot for our first conversation back."They sat quietly for a bit, absorbing, until Marina grinned and broke the silence with, "By the way, when did you get so tall?"Anthony laughed. "Believe it or not, this all happened only in the last several months. It was a long time coming. I went through all of middle school and the first year and a half of high school being shorter than Kate and then suddenly, BOOM! I shot up! It doesn't even feel like my body anymore. Still learning how to work these long spaghetti arms and legs," he said as he wiggled his arms and legs around. "I feel a lot more coordinated in the water than I do on land.""So I come back 10 years later and everything has changed," smiled Marina. "Who would have guessed-you got tall, Kate got famous, Gen got a thriving business and Simon got popular.""You got beautiful," Anthony said quietly. "But more importantly, you found your voice.""Your charm is going to get you into a lot of trouble, Bridgerton," replied Marina.Anthony made a face."I'm glad you're back, Marina," said Anthony. "It's good to have someone who can just call things out like she sees them. It's refreshing. I think too many of my friends tiptoe around me, partly because they're worried that I will either explode or break. Or that if Kate and I aren't speaking, they'll have to pick sides, which I know would really hurt them.""Sometimes it helps to have an outside perspective," Marina said thoughtfully. "But if you don't mind me being so frank, what exactly is this between you and me?" she asked, gesturing between the two of them."What do you want it to be?" Anthony countered noncommittaly, unable to meet her eyes."I can tell you one thing for sure," said Marina. "I thought you and I had a lot in common back in kindergarten, maybe the only two people in our class who knew what a panic attack felt like and I always thought you were kind of cute in your little blue glasses, but I'm not about to be anyone's sloppy second choice, especially when your first choice is one of my oldest and best friends."Anthony sighed."Marina, I would be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to you or that I didn't want to spend time getting to know you better, but I have enough to deal with in my life right now without adding love as a complication, much less one that might hurt you or Sharma.""...or me," he added almost as an afterthought."But that doesn't mean we can't be friends and maybe, if you're OK with it, we can be friends who occasionally accompany each other to events like this one so we don't end up feeling like anyone's extra wheel.""That sounds like a solid deal to me," said Marina. "Shake on it?"They shook hands and spontaneously pulled each other into a hug."Hey, Ant," said Marina gently. "It's OK to admit that you miss Kate. It's OK to admit that Kate is the one you want a romantic relationship with and that nobody else is going to measure up to that expectation right now. It's OK to feel lonely, even if you're surrounded by seven brothers and sisters and lots of great friends. It's OK to feel this way and you don't have to feel guilty about it.""Thanks, Marina," said Anthony softly. "I just know that’s not what she wants, that I am not what she wants. I’ve spent the last couple of years driving both of us crazy trying to respect that and keep my distance, but I guess I'm not doing it very well.""Maybe this is a conversation you should be having with Kate," said Marina."Only if we both want to end up yelling at each other like in middle school," Anthony replied ruefully. "And I repeat, she doesn’t want me like that. She wants Mr. Ode to Lemonade Lumley over there...of all people!" he muttered under his breath.They looked over to where Kate and Louie Lumley were sitting with the ever amiable Lumley talking animatedly as Kate kept a fixed smile on her face and nodded stiffly every once in awhile."I don't know," said Marina. "Looks like she could use a rescue. Shall we?"Marina grinned and held out her hand, which Anthony gratefully took as they headed to the other side of the gymnasium.As Kate downed the second glass of off-tasting punch that Louie brought her, despite stating twice that she would prefer lemonade, which apparently he loved enough to write a poem about, just as Anthony had said, not that Kate would ever give him the satisfaction of knowing that “Lemon of My Life“ had been accepted for publication in a junior poetry journal. Out of the corner of her eye, Kate registered Marina and Anthony walking towards them. Holding hands. Holding each other's hands and smiling brightly.Kate's stomach did a flip, and not the pleasant kind, as she felt her brow furrowing unwittingly. Marina caught the change in her friend's expression and quickly dropped Anthony's hand, recovering seamlessly by reaching out to hug Kate and pull her close to surreptitiously whisper in her ear "This is a rescue. Play along!""Lumley!" declared Anthony with open arms and a wide smile. "So good to see you again! I see that you brought Kate some punch. She actually hates the school punch. Perhaps she would prefer some lemonade if someone were kind enough to grab some?""Of course!" said Lumley, jumping up immediately and reaching for Kate's half finished cup of punch. "I'm sorry, Kate. I'm a bit of a lemonade connoisseur myself, but this one didn't meet my usual standards, so I thought punch would be a safer choice. My mistake. I'll get you a new cup right away."As Lumley rushed off, Kate breathed a sigh of relief. "How did you know?" she asked."We have eyes, Sharma," smirked Anthony, earning a swat on each arm from both Kate and Marina."Ow!" he cried. "You're welcome, by the way," he added sarcastically as he and Marina climbed onto the bleachers to take seats on either side of Kate."I didn't ask for this," said Kate, getting irritated. "We were having a perfectly pleasant time. Don't you dare be mean to him, Anthony. You could learn a thing or two from Louie Lumley.""Like how to wax poetic over lemonade?" snarked Anthony. "Sorry, Sharma, words of flattery are sweet, but I'm not a man of poetry. I'm more a man of action.""Cut it out, you two," hissed Marina, followed by "En garde!" under her breath as Lumley returned, smiling widely and holding two cups of lemonade which he offered to Kate and Marina.Just as the group settled back in and Kate was beginning to feel grateful for a conversation that did not involve original poetry or lemonade as Anthony and Marina adeptly distracted, er, she meant engaged, the always genial Lumley in an animated discussion about the connection between weather conditions and winning the Kentucky Derby, Cressida Cowper made her way over with Prudence Featherington, both of whom were wearing dresses that looked all too familiar.Before Kate could open her mouth to comment, Genevieve stormed over pulling her date Andrew with her and turned to face Cressida and Prudence directly."Nice outfits, ladies," Gen sputtered. "Care to share why you ripped them off from me?""I have no idea what you're talking about," Cressida simpered. "We had these custom-made by our family tailor.""And your family tailor just happens to keep Kente cloth and silk dupattas with gold zari (Indian embroidery work) lying around?" spat out Gen."We happen to be very worldly and open-minded," added Prudence. "Never thought you'd be so judgmental...or jealous."Kate stood up and moved forward to restrain her friend. "This isn't you being open minded," said Kate. "This is a blatant rip off of Genevieve's Creations. You never thought they were cool when we wore them until the rest of the world took notice. Prudence, you once asked me why I couldn't wear something 'normal' to the 8th grade dance. And you, Cressida, called it 'ethnic stuff.'"Marina gasped audibly.Kate found herself in need of some restraint as memories came tumbling back about the same girls making dismissive, insulting, racist comments about her clothes, the Indian food made with love by Rakesh that she brought for lunch, her hair and multiple other things over the years. They were memories that didn't just go away, as much as Kate wished she could permanently erase the cruel words from her mind.The worst part was that girls like Cressida and Prudence never thought what they said was a big deal even when others pointed it out to them. They persisted in pretending that "casual racist" remarks didn't matter and even tried to blame Kate and others for reacting to those comments that were obviously hurtful by saying it was something they would probably hear elsewhere, as if that made it acceptable.But now Pru and Cressida, the same ones who used to mock different cultures were clearly copying items of clothing that had a deeper cultural and personal meaning for Gen, Kate and the customers they served--the ones who trusted Gen to envision, weave together and create one of a kind custom creations that reflected who they were, where they came from, whether it was England, Mexico, India or wherever they had ties or roots, and what was important to them. But when Cressida couldn't get a hold of an original Gen's Creations outfit in time because they were in such demand and handmade by Gen, she had simply thrown a fit and then thrown her money toward a garish knockoff."It's obvious you tried to style your dresses exactly like Kate and Genevieve. You probably watched their Instagram videos as they got ready, but this is more than just copying, even though that's bad enough. It's cultural appropriation. You don't even understand or respect the people or cultures that your hideous attempted recreations represent," Marina spoke up.Gen was visibly shaking as Andrew kept her hand firmly in his and a crowd started to gather that included Siena and Tom heading over after doing twirls and wheelies on the dance floor."Look at the bracelets, Kate!" said Gen through clenched teeth.Kate gasped as she saw both Prudence and Cressida wearing obviously cheap replicas of the antique silver and pink sapphire bracelet from the Bridgerton vault that Anthony had given her in middle school."But that's..." began Kate."Your bracelet!" Anthony shouted."You don't own those ideas," sniffed Cressida. "And who says the idea came from you guys anyway? We have lots of sources of inspiration for 'Countess Cressida Couture' aka C3 which I am launching officially on Monday!""Yeah," chimed in Prudence. "These are the prototypes. In a couple of days, anyone around the world can dress and feel like royalty, just like a real countess.""Countesses aren't royalty!" Anthony, the future viscount, fumed."Whatever!" said Cressida dismissively. "The main point is that my dad knows people and he got an investor to fund my company. We'll be selling jewelry, accessories and eventually customizable fashion pieces from around the world. Our price point is low because we are ALL about accessibility, we have an advertising budget for REAL models and we can mass produce, so we'll put your garage-based insta-business out of business by the end of the year.""That just means you're probably relying on workers from sweatshops in other countries for cheap labor!" cried Gen. "The reason we can't mass-produce is because I do all of the customizing work myself.""I can't believe you would stoop this low, Cressie," whispered Siena. "We all know this wasn't your own original idea. You can't do this!""You're just jealous!" added Kate. "You've never liked the fact that Gen built a business from scratch while you've had everything handed to you and yet you were never as successful. Even now, you're outsourcing everything to make cheap imitations of the real thing while stealing someone else's ideas and benefiting off others' hard work.""As if!" replied Cressida. "Countess Cressida Couture is going to be the biggest thing to hit this school and beyond! It will be leagues above what SHE makes as tacky Home Ec projects.""Stop trying to gaslight us, you copycat!" Kate cried. "Everyone here knows what you're doing."Cressida just laughed. "We'll see if people's ethics stand up to my product's availability," she said with a nasty grin."Cressida, this isn't a joke," said Marina. "Unethical labor practices are a huge deal. Some of those factories use child labor. Have you even thought this through?""Stop trying to shame me!" screeched Cressida. "You're just saying this to me because you're being anti-woman and you can't stand to see me out-Girlboss your little friend.""Are you kidding me right now?" Gen asked in a deadly low voice as the group listened in disbelief, trying to interpret Cressida's twisted assertion.Marina put up her hands as if to say there was no reasoning with that level of delusion as she muttered "I didn't realize the school had its own Elizabeth Holmes."Cressida calmed down slightly and smoothed her hair. "I'm the CEO," she said. "I can't possibly keep track of every little detail. I'm just trying to put something into the world to help people feel more beautiful. That isn't wrong.""You have an ugly heart, Cressida," said Anthony quietly. "You aren't creating beauty. You're just trying to copy someone else's because you know you will never measure up."Silence descended on the group as Cressida swallowed visibly and muttered, "Let's get out of here, Pru" as she bustled away in her garish neon green dress with Kente cloth draped around the shoulder and Prudence threw the edge of her chintzy saffron dupatta over her clashing fluorescent orange organza dress and followed her.Kate broke the silence as an exhausted Gen sat down between Andrew and Marina who each put a comforting arm around her and Lumley went to fetch her some punch at Andrew's request."If I weren't so mad at her for being such a blatant plagiarizer, I would almost feel sorry for Cressida," Kate said."How? And why?" asked Anthony as he offered Gen a clean monogrammed handkerchief with "AEB" and a beautiful pattern embroidered on it in Violet's perfect stitches as she sniffled."People who steal others' ideas to pass off as their own are sad, empty and insecure inside," Kate started. "They think they're making themselves feel special by getting attention, but deep down, they know it isn't them or their work that is what is being noticed.""So, I'm just supposed to sit here and feel bad for Cressida being an absolute witch as she profits off an idea that it took years to build?" Gen asked between sobs as Tom wheeled over to squeeze her hand."I can't compete with her throwing money at things for mass production and advertising. That isn't even the worst part, though. It's the fact that she thinks she can just waltz in, steal pieces of someone else's hard work and pass it off as her own company. Who does that?" Gen finished as she collapsed into tears on Andrew's shoulder."I feel bad for Cressida just for having to live with herself everyday," explained Kate. "But that doesn't mean we're just going to let this happen to you without standing up for ourselves and your business."We need a plan."---The drive back from the dance to drop off all 3 couples in the Bridger-van was unusually quiet. Given Anthony's legendary bad experiences at dances and Kate's equally legendary bad dates, Violet was wise enough to hold her tongue for the duration of the entire trip. She reasoned that everyone deserved a good night's sleep before broaching a subject that clearly seemed to affect the whole group heavily.As soon as they got home, Anthony went straight to bed.He awoke earlier than normal on Sunday morning and wandered down to get breakfast and start reading "Malcolm X" for his Modern American Lit group project. His father was usually up on Sundays making pancakes or waffles for the family, but today Anthony was surprised to find Violet scrambling eggs and making toast and turkey bacon instead.Violet kissed her son good morning on his cheek as he had already gotten too tall for her to kiss him on the top of his head like she used to. She explained that Edmund still had a headache from last night and she wanted to let him sleep in and rest up before heading back to work on Monday."Thanks, Mom," he said as he smiled and grabbed his plate, ready to head to the library to dive into his book and enjoy a few precious moments of quiet before the rest of the house woke up.Violet (brightly): No, stay please, sweetheart. How was the dance? Did you have fun with Marina?Anthony sighed and took a seat at the breakfast bar with his mother who had turned off the stove to join him.Anthony (tersely): The dance was…eventful.Violet: That sounds cryptic. Care to expand?Anthony: Not really. As for having fun, I did have a moment...in spite of your meddling.Violet (warning voice): Anthony...But Anthony felt something snap after such an emotionally packed night and he recognized that he did not have the emotional reserve or energy required for restraint over a long simmering issue, so it finally came spilling out."Well how else am I supposed to get through to you that I am not in need of coddling or micromanaging my love life?" he started. "I've told you over and over again over the last year and a half that I'm not interested in dating. Period. I don't enjoy any part of it."It was terrible to put Marina and me on the spot like that in front of everyone. We're just lucky that she and I both decided to go and do our own thing, but it wasn't fair to anybody."You were a perfectly reasonable mother until your eldest came of age."Every single time you try to set me up with someone, it reminds me that I'm a disappointment to you. Do you know how that feels, Mom?"I can't be your perfect All American son who looks like I walked out of an instagram post. Every time you do something like this, it makes me feel like you think I'm not normal or living up to your expectations, and believe me, I'm plenty used to the world telling me that to begin with, but I didn't expect it from my own mother."I'm not like you or dad. I wasn't born to be some social butterfly who hosts parties and dates and has 8 million kids. I wish you would just stop trying to fit me into some mold that I don't fit into and making me feel like a freak, even though I am perfectly happy being who I am and doing all the things that mean something to me," Anthony finished with a deep shuddering breath.Violet looked shocked and sank deeper into her seat as she slowly processed Anthony's outburst and he picked at his now cold scrambled eggs. She sighed deeply and took a moment to collect herself after seeing Anthony quickly wipe a few tears away with his sleeve.She began slowly as she moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around Anthony to say, "Oh, dearest. I owe you an apology and perhaps a very long overdue conversation with a little insight into how you and I are much more alike than we are different, my sweet boy."But first, you must know that there's nothing wrong with you and there never has been. I have never thought that and I'm so sorry that I ever gave you that impression when it is the furthest thing from the truth."Violet reached for the tissue box to offer first to Anthony, whose face was turned away from hers but whose shoulders shuddered slightly, before Violet dabbed at her own eyes which produced two rivulets running down her face."I always worried a little bit more about you, Anthony," she continued. "You were our firstborn and that fact alone means more anxiety when everything is so new. Your father and I were so young when we had you. Everything was planned. We wanted you before you ever existed and loved you before we even knew you. You were so much anticipated and so very loved. You were your father's and my way of starting fresh and changing a damaging pattern of old-fashioned colonial era child rearing."You were actually a honeymoon baby. I am so sorry if that detail scars you forever, dearest."Your father and I were still both students when you came along, but we wanted to be as hands on as possible instead of handing you off to nannies or governesses like we had been in our youth, cut off from our parents who cared more about keeping up appearances in society than nurturing loud, messy little kids. It was just the three of us for the first few months and even though nobody got any sleep, you were the best thing to happen to us. You also turned our world upside down in what ended up being the best possible way. I will never forget those early days. We were our own little unit. Nothing has ever been quite like that. We loved every precious moment with you!"Looking into your eyes when you were first born, I could see the intelligence, the intensity, and all I wanted to do was make the world better for you and do everything I could to make you happy."Even so, you were such a challenge. You had colic, and when you cried, my heart would break, every single night for weeks on end. You needed conditions to be just right to sleep. You were very attached to your father and me from your earliest days."But your father and I both knew that what we experienced with you was love in its purest form. It was unlike anything we had ever known before you. I would live every moment and take every challenge again in a heartbeat just to be your mother."Violet paused."But how can you call that love when it was so hard?" asked Anthony."Love isn't always easy, Anthony," replied Violet. "But it is still the most natural thing in the world and real, true love is worth it. Always. You taught us what love is in a way that transcended even the love your father and I have for each other. There's nothing like it. I just wanted to make sure that you were in a position to have that in your future someday, but I should have realized that you are still so young and that the life ahead of you is your choice, but whatever it is, I want it to be filled with love.""But it hurts," said Anthony, sniffling."Anthony," Violet said firmly. "If there's one thing you take away from this, it's that love may not be easy, but it should NEVER hurt. It doesn't mean that there will be smooth sailing all the time, but listen to me carefully when I say that love does NOT hurt."The opposite of love hurts. Pride and foolishness hurt, but love does not and should never hurt."Love does not abuse. Love does not cheat. Love does not hurt, because even when there are unexpected challenges that life brings, love will be what sustains you and holds you together."Raising you and your siblings is always a challenge, but also a delight. You still are...a delight and a challenge and I wouldn't have it any other way. Challenges make the delight even greater and more meaningful."As a baby, you couldn't wait to explore, to learn, to do, to experience life and embrace it. You even walked before crawling, which seemed like a miracle."It seemed that for every moment you were awake, you didn't want to miss a single thing. Even at a young age, you had such intense focus, actively absorbing the world around you, whether it was Edmund reading you books or me pointing out flowers and trees on our evening walks through the neighborhood park by our flat."Then when Benedict and Colin came around, we saw your heart grow even larger and how well you took to them, almost instinctively as if you knew that you were their protector. Mind you, Benedict had a very mellow temperament and was easy to soothe, while Colin was all smiles, a charmer right from the cradle. So different from you and easier in some ways, but with a knowledge that everything that made you who you were also made you uniquely qualified to be their big brother who could both absorb and fend off any injury to them, though I often think that this particular aspect of your personality often makes you the most thoroughly battered party who suffers silently on behalf of others."I also think that is something that has carried over to your relationship with Kate at times."Anthony, you are the reason we left England. We wanted so much more for you and we knew that you wouldn't get it there. I have been so grateful for that singular decision and every wonderful thing that has come afterwards."But I am your mother and I will always worry about you and your siblings no matter how old you get or how successful you are. I will always worry about you first because you're my first baby who was the first to go to school and will be the first to venture out into the world on your own. I can't help that, Anthony, and if it sometimes makes me irrational in a way that is overprotective and interfering, that is a reality I will have to work on for the future as you simultaneously work to cultivate greater patience with your dear old mum."But I do worry that the vestiges of the world to your father and I left are more deeply ingrained in me than I realized and that I might be projecting my own experience and expectations foisted on me onto you, which is most definitely NOT a burden you should to shoulder."I was always a wallflower. Even though I had older brothers, they were old enough that they always had each other and I grew up almost as an only child with mostly nannies as my closest playmates. My being a wallflower throughout school was something that vexed my mother and all of our female relatives no end. I wanted you to be raised differently so you didn't have the experience I did, but here I am re-creating that for you in a whole new country despite my most conscious efforts to escape it."When I met your father in university, everything changed, because I met someone who saw who I was inside and understood me in a way that those closest to me did not. He never asked or wanted me to change. We were inseparable from day one and we got eloped a few months after we met which shocked both of our families, who were convinced that we "had to get married" even though that was not the case."When you and Kathani--Kate--first met, it seemed like you two were destined for each other and would be inseparable forever. It was hard for me not to see the parallels between you two and your father and me. Maybe I had hope for the future even though it was decades away at the time. But of course you grow up and develop in different ways, sometimes at different speeds. When there was a rift between you two, I think my first reaction was to panic, like I thought I might do if anything ever happened to your father. I worried that without your anchor, you might go adrift and I didn't want you to suffer."If I have been overzealous in trying to manage your social life, I apologize. I did not want you to look back and think you had missed out on anything when you're at an age where you can embrace the whole world with the same spirit you did as a young child."You have so much love to give the world, Anthony. I see it every day in the way you care for your brothers and sisters, the way you care about your friends and even strangers who are the recipients of your kindness."It scared me when you pulled away last year and became so sullen and angry. I thought that perhaps if I could help connect you to someone, you wouldn't miss Kate so much and you might come back to us."I don't regret connecting you to professionals who you needed and who have helped you, but I am sorry that my matchmaking made dating an added pressure for you instead of a fun release, especially when you do actually have a robust and wonderful support net and an indomitable personal spirit, even outside of your relationship with Kate."I'm so glad that you and Kate are friends again, but don't think I don't notice that I see you wishing and hoping for more. I don't know what the future will bring, Anthony, but I am SO proud of you for the young man you have grown into and the fact that you are respectful and patient when it comes to wanting something that someone else may not want right now."If I have ever worried that you wouldn't fit in or learn the right social skills, it's because of my experience, not yours. I won't push you to date anymore, Anthony. You need to do what is right based on your own timeframe, not anyone else's, not even your mother's, and you are doing just fine on your own."You were and always will be my sweet, first baby boy, always with a kind word or a joke for someone. Please don't ever lose that, no matter what happens in your life. You're a good boy Anthony and you will grow to be a wonderful man someday, whether you choose to spend your life on your own surrounded by good friends and your family or with the love of your life with whom you build a family of your own, you will find meaning and purpose in life that will make you happy. I know that to be true. A mother knows."I love you, Anthony. I am so sorry that my interference has made you feel like anything less than the wonderful, beautiful, unique soul with such a heart for humanity that you are. You are just starting out in this world, Anthony, and I want you to find the beauty and bounty in every moment."Anthony and Violet embraced for a long time, both recognizing that another wall that had been built up over the last couple of years was being chipped away. Anthony realized that he was more like his mother than he ever imagined and that as much as he put his father on a pedestal and aspired to be like him, his mother was an equally important influence on him and someone who he should be a little more open to and respectful of listening to in the future...as long as it didn't involve matchmaking!-------END NOTES--
Acknowledgments, Citations and Recommendations:I had to give a quick shoutout to the American Girl Doll company for FINALLY introducing an Indian-American doll, Kavita Sharma, as 2023 Doll of the Year! I cannot help but think she was inspired by one Kathani Sharma and Simone Ashley who also loves to sing, dance and perform in other ways, even though I know that with research and development, the timeline is a bare minimum of well over a year. I literally used to look at the Latina and East Asian AG dolls to try to pick which one looked the most like me, so it's great that future generations can have overpriced, corporate, mass marketed dolls that actually do look like us and that Desi girls can be represented as being as All American as anyone. Extra points for the celebration Diwali and Eid outfits that came out in Fall 2021! This is not a paid ad, by the way!My Own ABC record actually exists and it was created in Britain for kids to learn the alphabet. You can find the YouTube version here:
https://youtu.be/y5ZQUg-5MLoI just watched a teenage Jonny Bailey in Five Children and It from 2004. He spends a lot of time carrying and cuddling his youngest baby brother aka The Lamb around which is what inspired the dinner table scene with Hyacinth. He was 15 when the movie was filmed which is his exact age in this chapter. In the film, it looks like he has just gone through a growth spurt and is all arms and legs, but his face is still boyish. The outtakes show him tripping and sliding a lot, so also true to life that he was probably still getting used to a tall new body. Cute movie! Funny how he is the youngest child in real life, but often plays the eldest sibling in various roles. He is quite a natural, gentle caretaker and fun playmate with the youngsters. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRb9H4eK/Also highly recommended the play "All of Us" by Francesca Martinez, a British playwright and performer who describes herself as "wobbly" i.e. she has mild cerebral palsy like Daphne. There is some difficult material in it as well as a violation of professional ethical conduct that would normally result in a formal inquiry of said professional, but the overall message and issues addressed are so important and eye-opening. It can be viewed here:
https://www.ntathome.com/all-of-usThe embroidered handkerchief detail was actually inspired by watching Jonny play Cassio in The National Theatre's performance of Shakespeare's Othello in 2013, but also a little nod to this young gentleman's Regency roots.Special thank you also to moresassythanclassy whose Made of Honor/Bridgerton AU https://archiveofourown.org/works/40352934/chapters/101081160 is what originally inspired my story thanks to a young Patrick Dempsey in Can't Buy Me Love reminding me of Jonny Bailey and for her always kind comments that inspired me to expand on Anthony's response to Violet in this chapter.I want to thank pacific1989 for the wonderful story "Burning at both ends" and the most recent chapter 5 https://archiveofourown.org/works/43182835/chapters/110290837?view_adult=true that referenced Def Leppard which inspired me to include Anthony's t-shirt in my chapter and reminded me of how much I enjoy "Hysteria" which IMO perfectly describes Anthony Bridgerton in love https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRb5LtDr/Shoutout to AmazingAisha16387 for the sweet and very helpful advice on getting through writer's block! Her Kanthony take on "She's the Man" and Shakespeare's Twelfth Night is a riot and incredibly sweet https://archiveofourown.org/works/42722373/chapters/107326326Also thanks to peepsinthechilipot for writing that love should not hurt in "Back and Forth (From New York)" which I think needs to be said MORE in fanfic/rom-coms/romance novels https://archiveofourown.org/users/peepsinthechilipot/pseuds/peepsinthechilipotETA: many thanks to serendipityinwords for "Call me what you want (when you want)" https://archiveofourown.org/works/36794161 which single-handedly brought me back into the world of reading fanfiction after I swore off it a decade ago. Also the main inspiration for Gregory having a total and complete crush on his eldest brother's girl, the one and only Kate Sharma.Special thanks to starkwinterfelling for "Plan Bee" https://archiveofourown.org/works/32687023?view_adult=true&view_full_work=true which taught me that it is fun to have long chapters and lots of backstory, as well as the inspiration for making little Anthony respond as a gentleman on his first day of kindergarten that was seared in my mind and now of course is carrying over to Ant teaching Gregory to also be a gentleman.I also just had to share this kanthony edit which was so beautiful that I didn't even know I needed it until after I saw it https://www.instagram.com/reel/CjeQitjLU3n/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY%3D
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MONDAY, SPRING OF SOPHOMORE YEAR (10th grade), ONE MONTH AFTER THE LAST CHAPTER FINISHED - AGE 15 YEARSAnthony Bridgerton awoke and wandered downstairs to find Dr. Rakesh Sharma expertly making dosas for breakfast in the Bridgerton family home while Dr. Mary Sharma scooped the spicy potato palia into the delicate, savory crispy lentil crepes.Kate Sharma scooted over slightly on the breakfast table bench to make room for Anthony to join her. He smiled slightly at her, lacking the energy to offer much more this early in the morning.For every day of the past month, since the Monday that began the worst day of his life, Anthony did what he did best, focus on what was right ahead of him and tried to minimize distractions just to be able to survive the day and help his siblings do what they needed as his father recovered in the hospital and his mother made the almost 4 hour round trip to the neurological rehabilitation hospital every week to help their dad regain as much function as possible following a ruptured aneurysm in his brain.Mary made her way over to the two sleepy teenagers with piping hot plates of masala dosas and with a bright smile, she said "We wanted to wait until everyone had gathered to share the good news, but I just can't hold it in anymore. Your father's coming home today!"Anthony looked up from his plate and inhaled sharply as he nodded and tried to keep a stoic look on his face. The side of his mouth went up in a tight smile as he offered a nod of acknowledgment to Mary and lasted exactly two seconds before covering his face with both hands so no one could see his face crumple and the tears flow freely.Anthony felt two sets of arms encircle him, one from each side, and smelled Kate's jasmine shampoo overwhelm his senses as he felt her face press into the side of his head. He was grateful that his seven siblings were still peacefully dozing away as he tried to gather himself in the face of the good news that he was afraid might never come.Edmund Bridgerton, the best man Anthony knew, the man he thought he might lose forever a month ago, was finally coming home.And all would soon be well.
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TWO YEARS AFTER EDMUND'S ANEURYSM, HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION DAY - AGE ALMOST 18 YEARS OLD)Anthony Bridgerton took a deep breath, holding his graduation cap tightly to his chest as he approached the valedictorian at the end of the graduation ceremony.Kate Sharma had just made her way down from the graduation platform where she had been seated with the principal and other important school board members. As class valedictorian, she had completed her speech to uproarious applause and remained on stage as her classmates crossed, shook hands, received their high school diplomas and then as a group, tossed their graduation caps in the air.Kate noticed that parents and guests were making their way down to the floor from the stadium seats, but out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of the curly brown mop of hair that could only belong to her best friend waiting at the bottom of the platform steps. Anthony stood ramrod straight with his arm held out in a stiff gesture to help her down, but the formality of his posture was belied by his familiar sheepish grin and twinkle in the eye, which made Kate smile warmly as she made her way down to him, taking his arm and pronouncing with an exaggerated British accent and affected air "Why thank you, good sir.""But of course, my lady," replied Anthony on cue, bowing deeply.The senior class had taken a trip to London the week before graduation and the two friends had enjoyed pretending they were living in the Regency era, much to the annoyance of their friends and classmates.Anthony sighed deeply as Kate's face softened and she reached for his other arm gently.Kate had broken the news to Anthony on the last day of their London trip that she had made a final decision to attend Stanford University in California, on the complete other side of the country from MIT where Anthony would be. It wasn't a complete surprise to Anthony, who knew that this was an unparalleled opportunity for Kate and who he sensed really had her heart set on Stanford, even the Harvard had been part of her plan since elementary school.
He had become pretty good at reading his best friend's unspoken feelings and he was proud of himself for handling her official announcement better than he had expected, but he couldn't help being sad that after all the ups and downs of middle school and the early part of high school, having Kate right by his side as his father recovered from a debilitating ruptured aneurysm over the past two years and finding their way back to being best friends, they would be on opposite sides of the country for the next four years."I know you think this isn't good," began Kate. "But I promise you, it'll be good for both of us.""Besides," she continued. "It's not like we live in the 1800s. We can still text since I deleted all my social media""You're going to get pretty tired of me soon," she said with a grin as she ruffled his hair. "And the girls at MIT are never going to leave you alone, not to mention the Harvard girls down the street."Anthony was quiet. He worried that saying anything might make him look just a little too desperate or selfish, and that it might scare her away forever. He also worried that if he opened his mouth, the feelings he'd kept carefully locked inside his heart over the last two years might come spilling out in the worst possible way.Kate and her family were leaving for India tomorrow, where they would spend the entire summer with their extended family right before she started college. She would literally be on the other side of the world and then return to the other side of the country.Deep down, Anthony knew that Kate was right. She had always been wise beyond her years and he had learned to respect that. But somehow, it felt like he was saying goodbye to his entire childhood, to the one person outside his immediate family who had been a constant in his life, even when they weren't speaking to each other, even when he thought he hated her for changingBut now, they were about to face the biggest change of their lives.Kate had broken the news gently on the plane that her final decision had been made. Stanford had offered her a scholarship and opportunities to connect with people in neuroscience that even Harvard could not match.She also told him that college was important and that she needed to focus on her academics and get away from everything that felt too familiar, too comfortable and may be a little too stifling for her to grow in the way she wanted and needed to.Over the past two years, they never made any promises to each other to take their friendship into romantic territory, but before the airplane conversation ended, Kate quietly whispered to Anthony "If it's meant to be, it'll happen...but only at the right time. I believe that. Do you?"Anthony saw the sincerity in Kate's eyes, but he also knew that it was Kate's way of saying goodbye and that there would be no prolonged farewell after that. But something about standing here now at the end of graduation, the finality settled into Anthony's bones in a way it hadn't when they were 40,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean.Before Kate and Anthony had any time to say or think anything more, they were both engulfed by an enormous mass of Sharmas and Bridgertons, with the mothers crying openly and the fathers consoling them as they wiped away tears from their own eyes and hugged the two graduates who would soon be off on their own.Eventually, Kate and Anthony got tugged in two different directions."Hey, Kate" Anthony yelled from 6 feet away as his now much taller twin younger brothers pulled him into goofy poses for the camera.Kate turned towards Anthony, stunned. He never called her Kate except when he was mad. But he didn't look mad. He was grinning from ear to ear.Kate shrugged. "What?"Anthony extricated himself from his brothers and took a few steps towards Kate."Go change the world. Don't let anything stop you." he said in a voice only she could hear among the crowd.Tears formed in Kate's eyes and she threw her arms around Anthony as they embraced each other."Thank you," she whispered in his ear. "Thank you."As they broke apart and Kate made her way back to the rest of the Sharmas, she turned around one last time"Anthony?" called Kate.Anthony turned around, "Yes?" he replied."It's Kathani," she said.
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PRESENT DAY: EARLY SPRINGTIME ALMOST 8 YEARS AFTER HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION, age 25 (almost 26) YEARS OLDAnthony Bridgerton grunted uncomfortably as he assessed his current and most undignified position pinned to the floor facedown with his thick tortoiseshell framed glasses askew on his face.He willed himself to remain calm or to at least feign enough tranquility to convince his heavily pregnant wife--who was doubly pregnant with twins, actually, if he were being precise--to get off him without out risking bodily harm to any of the four individuals involved in the current debacle.He could have sworn that he felt the twins kicking, almost as if they were delighting in the shenanigans of their mother torturing their father. The little traitors, Anthony thought to himself as he sighed and tried yet another tactic."Jaani [my beloved]" Anthony entreated in Hindi using what he thought was his most endearing tone. "Will you PLEASE get off me.""No!" replied Kathani Sharma-Bridgerton in her signature firm yet unflappably calm way as she adjusted her rose gold wire-rimmed glasses and rearranged her stretchy red maxi dress around her knees before crossing her arms."Not until you calm down and promise to be reasonable about this.""Reasonable!" came a half-muffled and even more infuriated shout from Anthony, who had lost all ability to control his indignance."You're the one who is sitting ON TOP OF ME! All three of you! And you're telling ME to be reasonable!""I will get up if you promise me you won't attack Simon at dinner tonight or berate Daphne with some overprotective nonsense," said Kathani. "Simple as that. Otherwise, no one moves."Anthony chuckled deviously, thinking of one more angle, having witnessed firsthand what pregnancy does to a woman's appetite over the last several months. "You cannot sit on me forever, jaani. You have to eat at some point. It's been almost 2 hours since your last snack. That means we are approaching your limit."Kathani calmly pulled a banana out of her hidden dress pocket and started to peel it. "I'm good through dinner, meri jaan. It's you I would be worried about."That's when Anthony knew he was beaten. He let his face drop back to the hardwood floor with a soft bump and sighed loudly. He tapped the floor twice to concede the win to his wife.Kathani snickered. "Never go against a pregnant woman who knows how to stash snacks and who only buys formal dresses with pockets. But I want you to promise. I need to hear the words. Simon is Boston's sharpest new lawyer and he knows how to charm anyone. You do not want to end up trying to defend yourself against him in a court of law.""I'm charming!" Anthony retorted. "And no judge would convict me for wanting to protect my baby sister from the campus Casanova."Anthony stubbornly remained on the floor underneath his wife and soon-to-be twin children until he pictured the stern look in his wife's eyes and groaned once again in defeat."I promise I will not hurt Simon or embarrass Daphne. I am a man of my word. Gentleman's honor," he mumbled sullenly but sincerely."Wonderful!" said Kathani, rolling off Anthony who inhaled deeply and did a quick check of his ribcage to make sure nothing was broken before rising fully and offering both hands to his wife who was still sitting calmly on the floor, finishing off her secretly stashed banana."Now put on a happy face," commanded Kathani cheerfully. "Simon hasn't been like that for years and he loves and respects Daphne. He would never hurt her. Besides, you're about to meet your very first sibling-in-law.""The other six better not elope," Anthony grumbled as he pulled on his suit jacket. "We are NOT doing this again.""Well, they learned from the best," Kathani replied with a giggle as she patted Anthony's face and he pulled her into his arms. "You have only yourself to blame.""As if you had no part in it," murmured Anthony, leaning forward to kiss his wife. "Fine, then. We better get going so we can congratulate the happy couple.""And prepare them for how to tell the rest of the family," finished Kathani, who suspected that was the real reason Daphne and Simon had broken the news to them first, despite likely predicting that Anthony would go ballistic upon hearing that his younger sister was marrying his one-time roommate who had quite the reputation of being the big man on campus."You read my mind," said Anthony kneeling in front of his wife to help her put on her brand new matching red suede boots."It only took 4 years of marriage to learn how," Kathani replied affectionately as she ruffled her husband's dark waves while he valiantly tried fit his wife's swollen calves into the unyielding suede."That will teach me to buy footwear online in my eighth month of pregnancy," she muttered under her breath."Besides," she added undaunted, "Isn't negotiating kind of Simon's specialty? Daphne's always been a spitfire, too. They should both be ready to plead their case directly to Violet and Edmund, not us. We have TWO babies to prepare for, plus another graduation, whichever comes first.""We definitely had it worse," Anthony agreed. "I thought our mothers would skin us alive for depriving them of a chance to throw a huge multi-day Indian wedding for 600 of their closest friends and relatives from all over the globe and show our most embarrassing childhood pictures to an entire hall full of wedding guests.""And that was after we had to explain why we skipped both of our college graduations," added Kathani. "No wonder they're so invested this time around.""Not to mention Gregory locking himself in his room the entire night listening to breakup anthems after we told everyone," finished Anthony. "Poor boy had actually convinced himself you'd wait for him. True love knows no age and all that nonsense."Kathani laughed. "Just before I walked down the aisle at the big wedding, he told me that he paid an older friend with a drivers license to wait outside in case I wanted to escape at the last minute...after we had already been married for a year and finally caved to Violet and Mary's Big Fat Wedding Extravaganza."Anthony snorted. "Truth be told," he stage whispered. "There were times I wondered if Gregory would beat me to the altar with you by his side.""Silly boy," said Kathani, looking lovingly down at her husband who was still struggling mightily with the suede boots, though she knew better than to try to stop him once he decided to finish something."There was only ever one Bridgerton boy for me," she cooed softly. "But I am 100% convinced that your mother wished the Bridgerton twin curse on us because we eloped."They both giggled as Anthony gave the remaining boot one final successful tug and raised both arms in victory."But the wedding on the beach was just for us, meri jaan," Kathani said, leaning down to kiss her husband on the top of his head. "The big one was for everyone else and I would do it all again in a heartbeat just to end up here with you."---
4 YEARS PRIOR TO THE ABOVE (JUST BEFORE UNDERGRADUATE/COLLEGE GRADUATION) - AGE 21, ALMOST 22 YEARS"Anthony?!"Anthony Bridgerton shook himself out of a deep sleep in his tiny dorm room at MIT. His phone had flashed 3:31 AM when he answered the incoming call."Mary?" he replied groggily. "What's wrong?""Oh, Anthony," exhaled Mary. "I am so sorry to call you like this. I promise I wouldn't if it weren't important.""What is it, Mary?" demanded Anthony, suddenly hyperalert and feeling panic rising in his chest.He heard Mary take a deep breath on the other end of the line."Everyone's OK, sweetheart," she said hastily, but in a soothing voice, "Well, kind of. But don't worry. Everything is fixable. I just...need your help."Anthony was already out of bed and starting to pace, which did nothing to calm his rapidly fraying nerves.Mary went on to explain that Kathani had just called her from a hospital in San Francisco to tell her she had been in a bike versus car accident. She broke her leg and was booked for urgent surgery the next morning, but she was OK and she was in very good hands with VERY strong pain medication.The problem is that she was all alone. Edwina was taking final exams as an exchange student in rural Kenya and they couldn't reach her. Mary herself was tending to Rakesh who was still hospitalized in critical condition but with an excellent prognosis after suffering a heart attack the previous day and undergoing an immediate triple bypass.Anthony sat down and let his head drop between his legs so he wouldn't pass out as he processed all of this information.Mary further explained that as soon as Kathani heard the news of her beloved Appa's heart attack, she immediately jumped on her bike to ride to the Palo Alto Caltrain station to take her to the airport so she could fly home to be by her family's side.But a wayward car during rush hour hit her on the way. She was fortunately wearing a helmet which even in her distraught state, the consummate neuroscience and pre-med major would never forget.Anthony forced himself to breathe and tried to head off a panic attack, grabbing both of his ankles after placing his phone on the ground in speaker mode as Mary continued.Even after Mary's repeated assurances and inquiries about how he was handling the news ("Fine!"), he remained shaky, but Mary didn't even have to say the words before Anthony said "I'm on my way" and immediately booked a 6 AM flight from Logan International to San Francisco that morning, stuffing a few t-shirts, underwear, a clean pair of jeans, a tiny velvet drawstring bag from his nightstand drawer and the small potted jasmine plant from the terrarium by his bedside into his backpack as he said finished his call with Mary and called for a Lyft.
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Kathani awoke from a heavy medication-induced slumber to the familiar scent of night blooming jasmine in her hospital room.She was still groggy from the pain, medication and the stress of everything that had transpired over the past 24 hours, but she also thought she recognized a hint of sandalwood in the air from a familiar cologne that she had known for years worn by someone whom she had known for even longer."Anthony?" she croaked, still hoarse from breathing tube they placed during her surgery.The young dark haired man snoozing in the chair by her bedside awoke with a start."Kathani!" he cried a little too loudly, reaching for her hand. "You're awake. Are you feeling OK? Do you need more medicine? I'll call the nurse."Anthony pushed the call button just as Kathani tried to wave him off with "No. No. Just a dream. Sleep now" and promptly fell back to sleep as she dreamed that she heard her name echoing in her subconscious mind in a voice she had known since she was five years old.Definitely a dream, because it had been almost four years since she had heard that voice in person. But how were the scents of jasmine and sandalwood so vivid?She had never had such a strong sense of smell in a dream before. Only during her childhood summers in India could she remember those scents being so powerful, baked into bedding from decades of the burning sandalwood incense in the bedroom and the open windows that allowed the aroma of blooming jasmine from the outside trellis to waft in every night.So strange. So familiar. But for now, she gave herself over to sleep.
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When Kathani awoke later, it was to the harsh voice of the new day shift nurse who kept asking if she was passing gas yet and if she needed to move her bowels.She still felt a little loopy but mostly, she felt like she had just woken up from the best and most impossible dream.In the dream, he had come back to her, after all these years. She did not yet feel like waking up to a reality where he would fade away in the morning sun.She inhaled deeply. The jasmine-sandalwood scent from her dream was still there and she didn't want it to fade either.But maybe if the scent was there, he was too. But she couldn't move anything without hurting and physically, one leg was elevated and immobilized by a cast and traction device just in front of her.When the best friends who had texted constantly during their first few months away at college had gradually shifted into new friendships, new groups, new interests and invigorating but challenging new classes, the texts became less frequent.Plans had been made to meet up in the summer for ice cream, but even that gave way to new opportunities in new places over the summer or adventures with new friends on both sides. Each one managed to touch home base at least once a summer and occasionally over winter break but their plans never matched up with each other. And soon, four years had gone by and they had given up on making each other's graduation ceremonies.Still, the tie was never completely severed and it would only take sending one emoji, gif or cat video to pick up where they left off for a brief jag before real life or some other distraction would intrude again and pull them toward other priorities instead.Yet there was a line that was never crossed, even as Kathani heard secondhand rumors of an increasingly popular Anthony having the time of his life in college as she explored and connected more with other South Asian American students who embraced her and who viscerally understood her life experiences in a way that she was still trying to make sense of.People around her were noticing her and appreciating her in a way that felt so different and refreshing from the objectification she had experienced in middle school and to a lesser degree in high school. She didn't feel like she was on display or "exotic" or pigeonholed for being a smart Indian American girl who loved science. For the first time in her young adult life, people outside her closest friends and family were seeing the whole Kathani clearly for who she really was, not what society had tried to contort her into.One unexpected bonus was that in the laid-back and far more diverse college atmosphere in California, nobody had to ask more than once how to pronounce her name correctly. Kathani was simply accepted.She had made the decision to go back to using her given name when she graduated from high school. Her family and friends accepted it as a new start and a new name, but there was a deeper reason.At graduation, Anthony's last message to her was to change the world, just before she felt him he let her go, to live freely without being inextricably bound to him by an invisible string that every one around them took for granted, but also weighed her down in painful memories. As much as she cared for her best friend, he was enmeshed in all her best and worst memories of teen angst, too close to be able to work through them with any objectivity.She had pushed him away when she was younger just like she had pushed away her given name. He had never fully accepted "Kate" until graduation day, but hearing him utter her Anglicized nickname was when Kathani knew what she needed to do.Reclaiming Kathani was a way of setting herself free from the harsh societal expectations that had jammed her into an ill-fitting mold during her most formative years. She had willingly given up a critical part of her identity for a price that now seemed far too high to justify, especially in hindsight.Her late Amma had given her the name Kathani. It meant "statement." Her name was a statement in and of itself that reflected a rich oral storytelling tradition revered in their home village. She had silenced herself a long time ago and had since made great strides to return to speaking up for herself and others, but it had still taken its toll along with part of her spirit and a connection to her Amma.It had taken away over a year of being with her best friend. It had irrevocably changed their friendship and perhaps permanently eliminated the chance for anything more to blossom.But Kathani was not dwelling on Anthony at college. She had her own life. She was grateful to be away from high school drama and to explore what it meant to be her own person instead of half of a pair that everyone had put together over a decade ago only to have that bond fracture and reform in an imperfect and still frighteningly fragile way.So it was a particular shock as she regained consciousness and confirmed that she was no longer dreaming that she saw none other than Anthony Bridgerton in the flesh worriedly gazing down at her, with the signature crease between his eyebrows deepening. He had never liked hospitals and he looked a bit green around the gills as he appeared to be steadying himself by grabbing on to the edge of the bedframe as the nurse continued to prod Kathani about her bowels.And then Kathani promptly passed out for the second time, though this time she was certain that it was from embarrassment.
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A few hours later, when she fully came to, Kathani laughed with Anthony over the unusual circumstances of their reunion while she recovered on the orthopedic ward after being deemed stable enough to move out of the surgical ICU.Anthony held out some wiggly green jello from her lunch tray and asked in a posh accent "Does this jello adequately describe the state of your bowels, Ms. Sharma?""Why, no, Mr. Bridgerton," she replied. "But I do believe that is the exact shade of green your face turned whenever the state of my bowels were mentioned."The pair collapsed in giggles as Anthony gently helped feed Kathani a clear liquid diet since her arms were still painfully bruised from her accident."OK, But you have to tell me how you managed to get an entire jasmine plant through TSA," Kathani inquired. "An actual plant in dirt, not a bouquet of flowers like any normal air traveler."Anthony feigned offense."Do not disrespect my sweet Jazzy!" said Anthony. "I'll have you know, she is as strong as they come. Yes you are, Jazzy. Yes you are. Do not listen to the lady who knows everything about brains but nothing about plants."Kathani raised an eyebrow. "So she has a name and you talk to her?""Of course!" Anthony replied. "Plants are living creatures who thrive on tender loving care. How do you think I kept her alive on not one, but two flights--transatlantic and transcontinental--if not for the constant encouragement?""At least somebody inherited Violet's green thumb, even though I always figured it would be Benedict, but does your mother know you talk to the plants?""Who do you think taught me?" he scoffed haughtily, but with a twinkle in his eye that Kathani had dearly missed seeing in recent years.Kathani shook her head and smiled. "That's a lot of trouble for one little plant."Anthony grew serious for a moment. "Do you remember how I spent my fall sophomore semester abroad in India? The jasmine there reminded me of you every single day because of that shampoo you used to use."The scent was everywhere. The weird part was, I didn't have a single panic attack when I was in India, even when I was dealing with crazy traffic and all sorts of new situations, things that would normally trigger one."I was even calmer than I was at home, so I figured the jasmine was aromatherapy of some kind and it would be great to have it around back at school. Not the fake synthetic kind, but the real thing, like in India."So I emailed one of the horticulture grad students back home, who told me it was illegal to bring in a live plant from a foreign country, but then she said something under her breath about white privilege and what a great social experiment that would make, because she once had a mango confiscated at the US-Canada border, but she still gave me some tips so I could try to smuggle it back home."I was 99% sure it would die or I would get caught and fined by the Department of Homeland Security, but I talked to Jazzy on the way to keep her spirits up. That's when I named her. I took her out when I could and even though she was in pretty bad shape when we finally arrived, the horticulture department helped bring her back to life."After a few months, with the right conditions and expertise I clearly did not have, she started to flourish in the university greenhouse and as thanks, and I suspect proof of sheer dumb luck and probably white privilege, they potted a clipping for me to keep in my room with strict instructions and a mini terrarium I created out of an old fish tank."I've kept her in my dorm room since then and Jazzy has thrived."So have I," Anthony added quietly almost to himself."Then when Mary called me, I almost had a panic attack again, but I grabbed Jazzy, packed her and here we are.Kathani reached over to gently stroke the Jasmine plant's stem. "Thank you, Jazzy," she said sincerely.Anthony smiled to himself and continued. "So even though Jazzy was for me, she was also for you because I wanted you to have something to remind you of your homes-your first home and the home we have both known for most of our lives."I thought this might help you heal or at least bring you comfort, even if I couldn't. The smell is just something that I always associated with good things."Kathani was quiet for several seconds"Do you still get panic attacks?" she asked gently."It's pretty rare. Maybe a couple times in the past four years, but the jasmine helps. Much better than breathing in my roommate's unwashed socks."The other thing is that even though I nearly had one when Mary called, I also had this even stronger feeling that if anything really terrible had happened, I would know somehow."I can't explain it but I knew you would be OK, just like I knew I had to come."Neither of them spoke for a moment until Kathani broke the tension with a surprise swat to Anthony's newly muscled upper arm."So what's all this?" she asked playfully, before instantly turning serious. "You aren't taking steroids are you? Do you know what those do to the brain?!""Chill, Ms. Top Ten College Women in Neuroscience," Anthony replied huffily. "This is all me, thank you very much!"It's what happens when you hit puberty a little bit late and your natural hormones FINALLY kick in. I might also have added a heavier weightlifting routine and cut back on all the cardio I used to do because I'm not as nervous anymore."It's easier for me to focus now and do more controlled, static activities. Before, I had to be moving all the time to keep my nerves calm. I still love the water, but it's not a necessity like it used to be."Like I said, Jasmine Therapy. Especially when it's by Jazzy, the toughest little jasmine vine west of Goa," said Anthony gently stroking the jasmine buds and giving the plant a tiny kiss on its top bud."OK, I have to give Jazzy her props," Kathani admitted, smiling warmly and reaching out to nudge the flower buds with her finger. "I think you and I were the two string beans of our high school class."I think I relaxed a little after I got to California. I didn't have the pressure of people knowing that I used to model. Getting rid of social media was the best thing for me. A fresh start."People always used to say I was naturally thin because of my genetics, and a lot of that is a factor, but the truth is I was always a little bit too conscious of thinness when my face and body were in front of everyone on stage and on instagram to judge."I gained weight my first year here and even a little more since then, but it didn't bother me. I'm so much happier now, because that's not what my focus is anymore or the focus of people who know me."People like me for me. I'm still active, but I'm not obsessed with working out. I let myself rest when I need to and I don't skip meals or count calories, which even Mary didn't know I was doing back then, thanks to stupid 'thinspo' posts from all the fashion and beauty influencers in my instagram feed.""I'm so sorry you went through that, Kathani, and that I wasn't there to support you. I didn't see everything that was happening behind the scenes," said Anthony as he lowered his head and dropped his voice. "I wasn't always the best friend you deserved either."Kathani squeezed Anthony's hand. "We were both figuring things out. Nobody has life figured out at 13, Anthony, but we're always learning.""You've never looked more beautiful," Anthony burst out. "You're literally glowing even from a hospital bed. Happiness looks good on you.""It's the pain medicine. Highly recommend, but preferably without the car accident and compound fracture part," grinned Kathani, feeling a bit bolder than normal."At least your sense of humor is still intact," quipped Anthony."And you look very comfortable in your new skin, Ant," offered Kathani, now certain that the pain medications were affecting her common sense. "Handsome even.""Don't get it twisted, Sharma," said Anthony, still guarding himself with humor, afraid to cautiously hope. "I'm still the biggest dork you know," he said, pointing to his Birkenstocks."Nah. You'd fit right in as 'crunchy campus chic'" she said, smiling a bit goofily. "And you were never dorky, Ant. You've always been my special Anthony."Anthony blushed and turned his face away from Kathani who had started batting away imaginary butterflies in the room."Ahem," he cleared his throat. "Your glasses are back."Kathani shrugged nonchalantly and giggled. "Less hassle than contacts. Easy peasy extra squeezy."Anthony eyed her cautiously. "I think maybe you're due for a nap or perhaps they need to adjust your pain medication a little.""Noooooooo....I like it like this," Kathani giggled again as Anthony silently pressed the nurse call button. "And now my glasses have superpowers. For REAL!"Kathani beckoned Anthony in closer, which he complied with."Their secret superpower is that they can shoot lasers to intimidate boys who won't take no for an answer," she whispered.Anthony felt his temper rage. "Did anyone hurt you? Did anyone try to force you into doing something you didn't want?"Kathani shook her head vehemently. "Nope! Thanks to these. Lasers. Lasers against losers. I scared them off."Anthony was a little horrified that his friend had to deal with unwanted advances even without social media algorithms serving her up to the masses for consumption, but he was glad that she was OK. However, right now was not the time to have this discussion. Anthony sighed in relief as the nurse came in to adjust the pain medication, just as Kathani fell back into dreamland.
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When Kathani awoke the next morning, Anthony was dozing quietly in the uncomfortable hospital chair that he had not left since his arrival.She had forgotten what he looked like when he was asleep and unbothered. He looked so peaceful, boyish and even angelic when his face was not contorted with all the burdens of the world. He looked even younger than his almost 22 years and Kathani recognized a glimpse of the sweet kindergarten boy who had once asked her to become his first best friend.His glasses were resting on her hospital tray next to her own.She wondered if they still had the same prescription. It couldn't hurt to check.Just then Anthony snored loudly enough to wake himself, stirring slowly as his eyes opened, he initially seemed very disoriented after what Kathani imagined was the first decent night's sleep he had in days."Hey sleepyhead," she said gently. "Welcome back to the world.""Still boxing imaginary butterflies, Sharma?" retorted Anthony as he gave a wide stretch, showcasing some additional muscles Kathani had not noticed before."Still talking to plants, Bridgerton?" she countered."Touché," conceded Anthony. "And she has a proper name.""So what medical misadventure do we get to experience today? How much closer are we to getting you out of here?" he asked."I keep missing the main Ortho team, mostly because I'm asleep or too loopy, but I'm finally starting to feel better and a little stronger this morning. Definitely more alert and in less pain. Plus, my bowels are doing their thing again.""Excellent!" declared Anthony, clapping his hands together. "I'll go get us some real breakfast from outside the hospital. There's only so much green jello one can eat.""One can never have too much green jello," countered Kathani. "We're so complementary, even if you're wrong about this."She was about to expound on the virtues of green over orange jello when Anthony suddenly shushed her and looked flustered for a moment as he started patting down his pockets, frantically searching for something.Anthony had overheard the medical team in the hall. They were doing rounds and it looked like Kathani was next on their list.Anthony pulled out a small sparkling object from his chest pocket, looking visibly relieved."I can't explain right now, but you need to put this on right away," Anthony told Kathani as he held out a small silver colored ring with what looked like a fake diamond.Kate gasped. "Are, are you proposing to me…Now?!""What? No. I mean not exactly," he stammered. "Just put the ring on before the doctors come in. They wouldn't let me into your room unless I was family and I figured they would know I was lying if I said I was your brother, so I just said I was your fiancé."Kathani's eyes grew wide. "My fiancé..." she murmured."Yes, now put on the ring please for both of our sakes""You could be my brother," she said defensively. "People do adopt.""Ew, no. Not your brother. Never. Not even hypothetically. Right now, I am your fiancé and childhood sweetheart."Kathani let out an involuntary peep."The head ICU nurse actually asked me why you weren't wearing a ring because they would've taken that off and kept it with your valuables before surgery and that's when I told her that I was on my way to propose when you were in an accident."I held up Jazzy--who practically sacrificed her life for you--and the nurse immediately started crying and let me in, before you even got back from the post-op recovery room.""But all these days, they've been seeing me lying in this bed without a ring on my finger. How did you explain that and why is it so important right now?" Kathani demanded.Anthony looked sheepish again. "You know the head nurse I told you about, the one who cried and let me in because I lied to her about us being almost engaged? Well, she was back on shift last night and she came over from the ICU to see how you--we--were doing."But you were out cold, because boxing butterflies can do that to a person, and I found out that she basically told all the nurses on the unit and then they told all the nurses on this floor about our "inspiring story" and now they all want me to do a whole bedside proposal thing and they all want to see the ring."At least I convinced them that you should be the first one to see the ring, not them and they bought it, but they were pretty much going to put me on the spot and make me propose and I didn't want to shock you like that…or get thrown out after everything."So then I convinced them you were a very private person and you were way too loopy to say yes in your right mind, so I told them I would propose to you first thing in the morning after I confirmed you were alert, oriented and not under the influence of the drugs. They did take you off the heavy narcotics last night."Anthony paused for a moment. "Are you doing OK without them?" he asked tenderly.Kathani nodded and gestured for Anthony to continue."So you understand? Now if they don't see you with the ring, this all ends and Jazzy and I will probably be banned from this hospital for life, so please just put it on. We'll figure everything out later.""I slipped down to the hospital gift shop a little earlier and I just grabbed a ring that could pass for an engagement ring. This was the only one that didn't have a cross or an angel on it. Now hurry up and put it on or they're going to kick me out and there will be no one will bring you real non-hospital food today."Kate was too dumbfounded to reply or argue about the convoluted yarn Anthony had spun or the remarkably adroit way he had managed to overcome unexpected obstacles in order to arrive and remain at her bedside. This was a whole new side to him, confident, taking charge of a situation, willing to take big risks for the right reason and adaptable at a moment's notice. So different from the once nervous, angry boy who sometimes relied a little too much on one specific person to ground him.College had been good for him in more ways than one. Kathani wasn't quite sure how to properly thank Anthony for the lengths he had gone to when she needed it--and him--most for a change, so she silently slipped the ring onto her finger, noticing that it fit perfectly.
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After much celebration by the medical team and lots of pictures taken for the hospital public relations department, with very strict instructions from Anthony that nothing was to be posted until immediate family had been informed, he collapsed into the chair where he'd slept for the past four nights.Edwina was still unreachable in rural Kenya with only intermittent Internet access and Rakesh had to undergo a few more procedures and observation before he was released from the hospital, so it was still just Anthony and Kathani, the newly fake engaged couple.Anthony rubbed his face in a way that was so uniquely his own since his preteen days. Kathani smiled at herself as she watched him and held her left hand up slightly to see how the cubic zirconia glinted in the light.She wondered for a fleeting moment what it would be like if she and Anthony were really engaged. This whole experience had been bizarre, from the accident to the scents of home to the intrepid Jazzy to the boy who lovingly nurtured those closest to him--plant and human alike.Surprisingly, she didn't feel like fighting the feeling of being engaged and cared for.She was quite certain that this time, the euphoria was not from excess pain medication.Kathani looked over at Anthony who was clearly having an intense internal conversation, probably figuring out how to stall the hospital PR staff from letting the imaginary cat out of the bag and alerting either of their families, especially if they started arriving at the hospital to help Kathani transition back to her dorm and then move out right after graduation.It would all need to be orchestrated down to the finest detail to keep from falling apart and Kathani knew that Anthony was running through every possible scenario.Anthony turned just then to see Kathani looking at him wistfully."Penny for your thoughts," they said together."Jinx!" was the simultaneous response.After they finished laughing, Anthony sat down on the edge of the hospital bed near Kathani's good leg. He took off his glasses and wiped the microscopic dust from them before putting them back and looking straight into Kathani's eyes."I know this is none of my business, Kathani, but is there anyone special in your life?"Kathani put her hand over his. "Just the guy who's sitting next to me after I made a stupid decision to bike down the street at rush-hour in a compromised emotional state.""I'm serious, no joking." Anthony swallowed."Was there ever anyone?" he asked in a whisper.Kathani took a deep breath. "There was a fair bit of interest that was sometimes mutual, but never went beyond group friend dates, usually with the guys from the South Asian American Student Association, who seemed to get me on a level that was different from the guys we went to high school with. There were even a bunch of the legacy admits and other genuinely great guys I met in class or random events on campus who pleasantly surprised me."Anthony stiffened, but held his tongue."No, because I never wanted anything to go further. Even though it was a whole new experience being surrounded by other SAASA members and almost every kind of guy I could imagine, even when I could just relax without having to explain everything, there was never anybody who clicked and understood me inside and out, who had seen me at my best and worst, and I wasn't interested in messing around with anything less than that."Kathani pulled her hand away from Anthony's slightly and fought down the enormous lump that was forming in her throat."How about you?" she asked. "Edwina and Daphne were always texting me screenshots from Simon's Instagram of the two of you with ALL the ladies in Cambridge and Greater Boston it seems."Anthony choked on the sip of water he needed for his suddenly very dry throat as Kathani recognized that saying that out loud felt a lot worse than it did in her head when she pretended not to care about the two younger girls telling her she needed to make her move or "some East Coast preppy is going to join OUR family."As Anthony regained his breath, he replied in between hacking coughs."That is NOT the whole truth. Simon did get pretty popular as soon as he hit the Yard, but even those rumors of his reputation are wildly exaggerated, often by him, thanks to his insta and his circle of admirers."I'm not at all surprised that Simon is planning to start law school this fall."Remember, no matter how old or independent he gets, he still has to answer to Dr. Danbury, whose wrath would be felt through the earth's core if he were ever disrespectful to any woman."That said, he started calling me "Gardner Monk" and kept dragging me out trying to get me to meet all these college women from both of our schools and the vicinity. Some of them were very interested, especially after word got around that dad is a Viscount, but I always ended things at dinner or movie."About half of the women you see in those pictures are ones who slammed doors in my face when I wouldn't follow them in and the other half wanted to help me on my personal journey of discovery as if that's the only reason a guy wouldn't use college freedom to act some modern day rake."I gave dating another shot and, you know what, I still hate it."Like you, sometimes there was mutual interest, but it's like I told my mom way back, even if I don't fit her mold, it doesn't mean I have to be forced into another one that doesn't fit either."I've spent almost my whole life being told that I was a freak in one way or another. I even believed that for a while and I doubled down on it ironically as a way to rebel against the box I was put in, but the truth is that I'm just Anthony, and I'm tired of letting other people try to dictate who I am."Anyway, I've also been told I'm a little bit intense," he continued.Kate stuffed her fist in her mouth to keep from laughing.Anthony gave her a look. "Rude. Here I am pouring out my heart, and you're laughing.""I am so sorry" Kathani said trying to hide a smile. "I'm only laughing about the intense part, which is the understatement of the century.""May I continue?" Anthony said, deliberately ignoring Kathani's shaking shoulders."Please do," said Kathani, still trying unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle.Anthony collected himself with as much dignity as he could muster and continued "And I suppose that extends to relationships because I'm not interested in something meaningless and I didn't think it was fair to any of those girls to lead them on."I don't do casual very well. That's just me. I'm not going to apologize for it or be made to feel embarrassed," he finished."I get it, Anthony," said Kathani gently. "I DEEPLY get what you're saying. I lost myself in social media and with a bunch of girls who told me my hair wasn't right, my clothes weren't right and that I wouldn't be pretty or worthy or successful at snagging a cool boyfriend without changing all those things. I changed my name, the name my Amma gave me. Who does that?"Anthony came over and put his arms around Kathani, pressing his face into untamed volumes of her jet black curls. "You faced extreme pressure after a traumatic incident. You did what you had to do to survive and I know you were trying to protect me, too, even though I didn't handle very it well at the time.""But you found your way back to who you are and you spent the last four years doing so much in your field and for yourself and all the little would-be Kathanis out there who know they don't have to be anyone but themselves because they see you doing it authentically and unapologetically.""But you never changed, Anthony. You stuck to your guns and never cared what anyone else thought.""I learned that from YOU, Kathani, ever since the first day we met, you taught me that it was OK to be me even if the rest of the world called me a freak. I know that sometimes I leaned on you too much, which wasn't fair to you because you were dealing with your own stuff, some of which I didn't even know, but being your best friend all those years made me stronger. it made me strong enough to let you go and do what you needed to do while I did what I needed as well."You rubbed off on me. You imprinted. On all of us. I'm pretty sure Gregory is going to spend his entire life looking for someone who matches up to you, but he's never going to find someone exactly like you, because you broke the mold," finished Anthony."Oh Anthony, I love you."Anthony felt the world stop for a moment. He and Kathani froze in their embrace.What now? Was this the love of a best friend? A fake fiancee? A REAL fiancee?Kathani pulled away slowly and Anthony felt his heart drop as he started to shift off the bed until he felt Kathani hold him firmly in place with new strength even as her still healing arms shook until Anthony stopped moving away and placed his arms on hers."I know what I said Anthony. I meant it. I love you.""I'm not saying this because you're my best friend even though I love you as my best friend too, but I'm in love with you. I always have been, but I wasn't ready for it until now. I love you, Anthony Bridgerton."Anthony's face went through a full spectrum of emotions as he listened to his best friend and the love of his life say the words he never dared to hope she would say out loud.Kathani watched the emotions wash over his face."There isn't anything more than I can say except that I love you too" replied Anthony simply as he took Kathani's hands in his own and kissed them.
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Less than an hour later, in front of the entire hospital ward plus the ICU staff and even more onlookers who kept up with the latest hospital gossip, including other patients peeking in from outside the door, the hospital chaplain stood at the foot of the bed and pronounced Anthony Bridgerton and Kathani Sharma husband and wife."So how are we going to break the news to the families?" asked Anthony after they broke apart following their first and second and third kisses as a married couple to the exuberant cheers and tears of the gathered attendees."Just leave it to me, meri jaan," replied Kathani. "I have a plan.""I love you," said Anthony, adding tentatively "Jaani."