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Soobin sat somewhere in the middle of the grand lecture hall. His thoughts were completely different from the actual topic they were discussing. Although his eyes still appear on the blackboard, his focus has flew away somewhere. More specifically to the blonde, with beautiful, dark eyes like the night.He chose a specialization that was completely uninteresting to him.
It was not justified why he ended up in it, or rather he wanted to deny this knowledge.
After all, everything in his life revolved around a certain Choi Yeonjun.They were friends for so many years, if that can still name that. But with some time Soobin felt something more for the older. But he knew that he cannot confess his feelings, so he still followed the older one, choosing this school and even colleges, giving up his dream of studying abroad.Soobin was so stupid. Love. The one-sided feeling stunned him. At the same time, he couldn't just abandon that feeling, so he stayed in this suffocating condition.He sighed heavily as he returned to reality. The lecturer was still writing something down on the blackboard, and looking at the amount of material that he had not had time to write, he just gave up on doing it.He turned his head towards the window, watching the weather. The swirling dark clouds in the sky could only testify to the coming rain that would wash away all the dirt from the street.
Will Yeonjun get soaked?He certainly didn't check the weather. The vision of the sick older one, due getting wet, made him a bit sad. Soobin had no choice but to wait for the other to finish the class. After all, a few hours won't change nothing.
***************
After two tiring hours in the library, he was finally able to go home. And knowing, or at least wanting to come back with Yeonjun, pleased him.
He took his things from the locker and headed for the exit. Some students pushed their way to catch someone they knew with an umbrella as soon as possible. Others decided to turn back towards the library, wait out this unfavorable time of the downpour. Soobin, on the other hand, stood at the door, yellow umbrella in hand, staring blankly at the horizon in front of him.
Rain could be really beautiful, as well as waiting for a loved one to come.
It wasn't long before Yeonjun appeared next to Soobin. Disapprovingly staring at the space in front of him. Indeed, the elder did not think about checking the weather, thus not taking anything with him for rain.
"Do you have two umbrellas?"
He muttered, breaking the silence between them."No" He replied softly, feeling ashamed. His plan, however, was not perfect, he did not anticipate such a question.
The elder muttered something incomprehensible in reply. They were still standing, staring at the falling drops, waiting as if the rain was going to magically end. Still, the advancing black clouds did not herald it. The silence between them began to feel awkward, at least in Soobin's mind. He felt inconsolable that he could not provide comfort to the elder. Though giving him an umbrella wasn't the best option at the moment?
"Let's go together under yours," Yeonjun broke the silence as well as Soobin's idea.
The boy nodded, then unfolded his umbrella. Yeonjun immediately clung to the boy's shoulder, wanting to be as close as possible so as not to get wet. The gesture made Soobin's heart tremble dangerously.
After a moment of uncertainty, they moved on. Their path was immersed in a silence that no one was going to break. Soobin because he felt intimidated by the closeness of the elder. As a result, his own voice could fail him at this point. And Yeonjun, he just didn't feel like it.
"Will you take me to the door?" He muttered breaking the silence only when they were almost in front of the blonde's house.
Soobin nodded in response. He escorted Yeonjun to the door, which prevented the elder from getting wet, thus giving him some satifaction in the younger man's mind.Without a word, Yeonjun relaxed his grip on Soobin's shoulder with intention went to the home.
"Yeonjun ... Would you like to go out somewhere like we used to?" He asked with some shyness while concealing his dissatisfaction with the feeling of coldness. The cold that hit him at the moment as Yeonjun stopped hugging him.
"Sure, If I will not busy""Sure," he said, more to himself than to the boy who had already closed the door behind him. Leaving Soobin outside, with weather that perfectly reflected his well-being.
He sighed, lowering his head. He headed towards his home, which was only a dozen meters away.
" And what? Did you go out with your boyfriend?" Young boy greeted Soobin with a smile.Kai was standing at his friend's door all the time, watching the couple under the umbrella earlier, being well aware of what answer he would hear from the boy's mouth.
"Stop it, you know that we are not together ... Besides, you saw yourself, so you know the answer" He replied almost in a whisper.
"You had crush on him so long, that he could be you boyfriend ten times." He laughed, throwing his arm over Soobin's shoulders. "But okay, open the goddamn door, it's cold!"
Soobin sighed heavily. He had nothing to defend himself, so he only humbly opened the door, letting the younger one inside.
¸„.-•~¹°"ˆ˜¨
Some years before¨˜ˆ"°¹~•-.„¸
The doorbell always signified guests. Something Soobin didn't like best. At this point, he wanted to hide under the bed so that no one would see him, but it was too late.
"Binnie, sonny, though here. New neighbors came to say hi. You'll like it for sure." The little boy swallowed. It happened, the worst option, strangers.Soobin hurriedly ran towards the door, hiding behind his mother.
“Hi!” The weak voice chirped happily. " I'm Yeonjun, and this is my mom." He proudly announced, pointing to himself and the woman standing next to him."Oh, sorry, Binnie is a bit shy," his mother announced mildly.
After a while, however, Soobin stuck his head out from behind his mother, staring at the strangers outside. Curiosity won over fear. When he saw a boy of an age similar to his, he immediately smiled.
"Don't be afraid of me, I don't bite! My mom promised me jelly beans when I made friends. Be my friend, I will share the prize!" Junnie smiled proudly, grabbing the boy's hand, shaking it vigorously. " Look mom, I have a friend!"
"Yeonjun-ah. You cannot force others into friendship" The woman replied sternly, wanting to free the silent boy from her son's embrace.
"B-but... m-mom.."
"I would love to be your friend ... J-junnie" He whispered loud enough that both the women and the boy heard him.
He hesitantly approached Yeonjun, clenching his hand on the boy.
"Look mom, Binnie wants to be my friend. Now let's go play in the playground!" He smiled and turned, wanting to go in the direction he wanted. However, he encountered resistance. Soobin's hand stopped him.
"But my mom said I shouldn't go there without her ..."
"Yeonjunnie will take care of you," the older woman replied, and Soobin's mother nodded with a smile drawn on her face. Thus giving the boys a silent permission to go.
Soobin needed no more. Overjoyed, he stood next to Yeonjuna to walk together to the playground. Not for a moment did they let go of their hands, enjoying the new acquaintance that would slowly blossom into the future.
"Binnie, my mother told me that the elders have to protect the younger ones. I am older and brave, so I will always defend you. I will overcome anything you fear, even those horrible monsters from under your bed!"
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Yeonjun stood in front of the mirror in his room, changing his shirts every now and then. While the choice of plain black jeans turned out to be extremely easy, the upper garment was a bigger problem.It felt for him like an eternity went by of not seen his friends, even though that only a week had passed. He still wanted to look amazing, even though there was no person he wanted to make a good impression on. He just did everything for himself, or at least he thought so.Finally, after choosing a white T-shirt and quickly putting on his katana, he ran downstairs, ready to go."Yeonjun, where are you going?" A middle-aged woman leaned out from behind the kitchen doorstep, staring expectantly at her son."God, I'm an adult. Why are you still controlling me?" He rolled his eyes without even looking at his mother."Because you still live under my roof ... Eh, just don't come back too late. Session is soon, you should put a lot of effort ... I love you son"However, Yeonjun chose not to answer her. Silence was easier for him. He just left the house, leaving a worried woman behind. In her eyes, the son was no longer a happy kid, he had changed, or so she told herself. Maybe she still hadn't realized the kids were growing up so fast.Without thinking any more, she returned to her duties. While the boy was heading towards his friend's house.Yeonjun still smoked the last cigarette of his favorite menthol pack along the way. One of the many stimulants his mother didn't know about. Or at least she didn't need to be aware of it. After all, Yeonjun was already a grown man who still preferred to hide with everything from his mother. His maturity argued for not taking too much of this woman, and he tried to stick to it.After a long bus ride, he finally reached a small house. Although the place looked more like a shithole than a place to live, he didn't hesitate to go inside. He knew the place and the people here too well.As he entered the doorway, the stench of alcohol combined with cigarettes attacked his nostrils. It didn't bother him a bit. After all, the smell of student parties was something he was already used to."Jun!" A boy he knew only by sight hung on his shoulder immediately to greet him. He didn't even get a word out when he began to tell some incomprehensible anecdote about his life, leading him to the parlor.He fell silent, irritation swirling inside him at the stranger's presence. His stories were unbearable to be sober any longer."Gyu, Lix" He immediately breaks free from the stranger's embrace, heading for the couch where his friends are sitting. However, he does not go there alone."Oi, Yeonjun, San." The freckled boy smiled at them as the two friends sat across from him. Thus, Yeonjun immediately picked up the name of his obnoxious companion. "Do you want to try Chan's new self-made? Gives a nice kick, really!"San held out his hand in front of him without thinking, wanting to try this otherworldly potion. Apparently he was one of the types of people that when it came to alcohol, he didn't need to be told twice.Nevertheless, Yeonjun was no longer as enthusiastic as his friend. Somewhere in his mind he was still bothering about, the last row with his mother. When he did not come home after last party."Jun, this is soo yummy ," San hummed with delight, after taking a few sips of alcohol. Then he put the bottle to his face, wanting to share the liquid that was delicious for him."Nah, dude.
I do not know, I will not be able to return home again, and you know how it is with mother. "He replied disapprovingly, refusing to taste the drink with his hand."Then call to Choi Soobin," Beomgyu suddenly interrupted." Uhhh, why him?""Because he's the only one stupid enough to always drag your sloppy corpse
to home," he chuckled. And Yeonjun just rolled his eyes. After all, he had nothing to defend himself, the younger one was absolutely right. Soobin was like a dog at the call, and Yeonjun found it just convenient.Wasting no more time, he dialed the boy's number. He put the phone to his ear, waiting for his voice."Hello?""Hey, Soobin, will you do me a favor? Please~""What? Did something happen to Yeonjun? ... Well, yeah"" Great, I'll send you my address, pick me up around one o'clock or something"" But..."He quickly ended the call, not letting the younger says one word. He wanted to arrange everything as soon as possible so that he had time to play. He also sent Soobin an address and, as a precaution, a text message to his mother that he was with the younger Choi. He thought everything through carefully. After all, he wasn't sure what condition he would end up in tonight."Let's have fun!"********Loud music echoed in his ears and the room blurred in his eyes. But it didn't bother him a bit, he was having a good time not worrying about anything. Chan's famous moonshine ran out very quickly when San and Yeonjun got to him."Yeonjun, your little dog came to pick you up." Felix patted him on the shoulder, glancing towards the door.Choi was't happy about it. He didn't want to quit at this point, he was having too much fun with his friend, who was just sitting on his lap.Beomgyu had another opinion, hearing Felix's words as if he immediately sobered up and let go of the older man's narrow waist. He looked at the door with a scared gaze, but breathed a sigh of relief, when wasn't seeing the person he was just thinking about."And I thought you would defend me like diamonds." Yeonjun pouted, and got up from the boy and headed for the exit. He was very reluctant to do it, because of the crooked floor in his eyes.Even Beomgyu didn't help him, though he drank less. He froze in place, not even biting off the elder's earlier words.Yeonjun was struck by a wave of cold as he finally made his way outside. There were no more walls here to help him move on.He found himself in a stalemate. However, he was an adult and even without propping up the walls, he would manage on his own. He thought so.One step ahead erased his confidence, and a hand wrapped around his waist saved him from falling."Yeonjun, watch out!""Wof, wof." He grinned broadly, staring into his chocolate brown eyes. His little dog was here. Soobin came for him. He always came.Soobin looked incomprehensibly at the elder. However, he associated his strange behavior with alcohol, the odor of which was very well perceived. He hated the smell the drunk people. Although it was this state that allowed him to be close to his beloved. The night he was allowed to hold him in his arms without any consequences."Take me to your coach, I want goo to home right now"
he shouted directly into the boy's ear."The car is under repair""God, Soobin, you are a hopeless case" he muttered and pushed the boy away,
to go home on his own. Soobin quickly found himself with him, securing him.But it was hard for Soobin to return home. Despite the fast beating heart and butterflies somewhere in the stomach. It was Yeonjun who turned out to be extremely stubborn. He did not want to get on the bus, so their journey made a longer.
"Binnie, I'm so cold"Pet name. Something so long ago Soobin had not heard from the lips of the elder, which he missed."Binnie, you are really silly ... I don't want you to get cold," he replied soft as he felt Soobin's jacket on his shoulders. His thoughts played a trick on him. He was supposed to hug him, not give up his clothes. Bad Soobin. Oh bad.He tossed his jacket so as to pull it over the boy too. He wanted to share it and at the same time cling to Soobin. After all, he was warmer than any fabric. The boy was exceptionally warm now and it was not caused by his behavior towards the boy. Soobin felt heat spread over his body.But despite his night was extremely hot. At least for one of them."Hyung, we've arrived, the palace is waiting," He whispered to the sleepy boy. The alcohol and the long walk made the boy a bit dozy."Mmmm, I don't want to go there, mother sure knows I'm kicked five asses, she knows everything, she can't see me like this, do you understand me?" He looked at him with wide eyes. Every intoxicated cell in his body screamed she sees everything, she knows everything."It's almost three o'clock, your mom is asleep ... Please come home and go to sleep.""No no no. I do not want to, please, take me to you" He pouted, taking on the face of a beaten puppy. " I feel safe with you, Binnie"It was the moment Soobin knew he had lost." 's 'kay, let's go to me, Junnie"¸„.-•~¹°"ˆ˜¨
Some years before¨˜ˆ"°¹~•-.„¸"Junnie, I've been looking for you everywhere," he gasped, leaning the hands on his lap. Ran. He craved his Hyung so much."Sorry Binnie, I was a bit busy" He replied staring mysteriously at the boy. Maybe he was glad to see the other one, but he didn't want to show it. "Hey, I've got something delicious."Soobin looked at him questioningly. His eyes widened as Yeonjun pulled out a small bag of white powder from his backpack. He was well aware that it definitely couldn't be powdered sugar. Although he hoped so."But ... It isn't a legal ... And -and we are not of age" He added in a quieter. Even though he loved the elder with all his heart, he knew he didn't want to try snow powder."Don't overdo it, in such an amount it will only be fun, no consequences." He waved the purse, but when Soobin shook his head again, he felt a surge of irritation. "God, there's no fun with you, you're boring." He put the stuff back in his backpack and stood up, dusting his pants.Yeonjun wanted to leave without saying a word, but the grip on his wrist restrained him. Irritated, he turned to Soobin."What?""J-junie don't go, we can still spend time together," he started in a pleading tone."Fuck off Soobin, what a nuisance you are""B-but""Maybe when these old ones die, you will become more mature"Maybe this was not the time to rethink at him these words. There was nothing wrong with that at that point, even if the younger's eyes glazed over. It was okay. After all, Soobin didn't respond. This was a tacit approval to leave, so he did.**"Mom, have you seen my blue hoodie? "He shouted, running into the kitchen. When he got no answer, he looked towards the woman, meeting her sad gaze. "W-Is something wrong?""Yeonjun-ah" The woman looked sadly at his son." Soobin's mom ended up in the hospital, she has recurrences of cancer" she sighed heavily, not taking her eyes off the boy. " Get dressed, we should support Soobin, especially since his father is on a business trip. He is completely alone there. Someone should be there, especially now .... Ah, let's go""N-no""What you said?""No, it's not my business, let him take care of it himself," he blurted out in anger. The woman looked at him in disbelief and by the time she said anything, the boy had already fled to his room.Yeonjun was furious with himself, at his earlier words to Soobin, only because he had refused him drugs. It was his fault, he wished it, so now he could not meet the younger man's eyes. Even if that one needed his presence the most now. Yeonjun couldn't overcome himself.The boy was still stupid and could not show his feelings well. Everything was going, not what it should have been. So were the tears he hid in the pillow instead of wiping them from Soobin's cheeks.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Too bright. Daylight streaming through the window woke Yeonjun from his blissful sleep. Today morning had no mercy on the boy. Immediately after he opened his eyes, an unwanted headache attacked him.
Only now did he regret the decision to pour liters of alcohol into himself. He could have thought about it before facing the consequences. However, Yeonjun's way of thinking didn't work like that. First the mistakes, then the regret. He could never protect himself from them and that probably wouldn't change soon. He rubbed his eyes, looking around the room.
The room seemed unfamiliar, but he didn't pay much attention to it. Uncertainly, he sat up, not wanting to expose himself to even more pain. When he started to gather himself, he decided to get out of bed, dropping his legs to the floor. Meanwhile, the ground his feet touched was extremely soft. Or maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. He immediately withdrew his legs and leaned over to look at the floor next to the bed.
The blue-haired boy was still immersed in sleep, completely unfazed by the daylight or the creaking of the bed. His face looked so innocent. As soon as Yeonjun saw Soobin lying on the thin mattress, he realized where he was.
"Oh my god," he whispered, and the memory of the previous night hit him twice as hard, along with a wave of nausea. Yeonjun jumped out of bed as if he had been burned, skillfully leaping over the mattress. His loud movements finally woke Soobin up. The younger one, not quite understanding what was happening, only sat up. He rubbed his eyelids with his fist, trying to focus his dull gaze on the bathroom door, from which the blond eventually emerged.
"Are you okay?" he asked in a slightly hoarse voice. "I left water and painkillers on the nightstand for you... I hope it helps at least a little bit ahhh," he yawned and fell back onto his bed. He didn't feel like moving from there. Yeonjun only nodded, heading towards the spot indicated by the boy. Although he had spent a lot of time in this room before, he now felt uncomfortable there. Soobin's gaze, following him, only increased his uncertainty.
He grabbed the white pills and quickly swallowed them, washing them down with water. Now all he had left to do was wait for the pills to kick in, but he certainly didn't plan on waiting in this place. Without much thought, he reached for his phone. He didn't have to worry about clothes since he was still wearing the same outfit as yesterday. Sleeping in clothes, although uncomfortable, at least calmed him down. He didn't do anything else stupid during the night. It wasn't that bad with him, right? Soobin sensed his desire to leave.
Before he could take any step, a grip on his pant leg stopped him. "Wait, at least have breakfast," Soobin pleaded, looking up at him. And Yeonjun couldn't refuse those eyes. "Yeah, hurry up," he replied gruffly, knowing that his empty stomach would reluctantly accept anything after his last visit to the bathroom. The older boy's words worked on Soobin like a shot of energy.
Without wasting any time, he got out of bed, not even thinking about changing out of his pajamas. He wanted to make use of this time and have a meal together. Such moments were incredibly rare, so he had to make the most of them. Soobin led Yeonjun to the kitchen where he prepared a delicious breakfast for him, but it went unappreciated.
Words of gratitude from the older boy were a rare occurrence directed towards Soobin. Therefore, even though silence enveloped the kitchen, the younger Choi still cherished the other's presence. After an hour, Yeonjun bid farewell, leaving Soobin's house. The events of the previous night remained unspoken between the two boys and never saw the light of day again.
¸„.-•~¹°"ˆ˜¨ Retrospection¨˜ˆ"°¹~•-.„¸
Yeonjun usually spent his free evenings in front of the computer, playing games. Although he had changed his habits now, his mom didn't ask why he was going out so often. The boy went out for walks. At least that's what he called them. And his legs still led him to Soobin's house.
He still intended to apologize, but it was still difficult for him to get it out. Even if he practiced alone in his room in front of the mirror. Every time he wanted to knock on the door, although he knew it was pointless. No light had been on in that house for several days. Since he found out about his friend's mother's illness. The house stood empty. He wondered what the reason was. Was Soobin still in the hospital? On the one hand, he could go there, check if the boy was really okay, what state his mother was in. However, something still held him back from this bold act.
He returned home again empty-handed. He threw himself onto the couch, next to the woman who was watching some sappy TV show. "Mom?" He asked shyly, not even looking at his parents. The woman muttered something incomprehensible in response.
"Do you know why Soobin hasn't come home yet?" "His mom is not doing well, you know Yeonjun-ah, he couldn't stay home alone," she frowned. "During this time, he will stay with... Kai? Yes, with Kai. You know, their moms are close to each other. She just couldn't leave him alone like that." Yeonjun nodded, calculating every word of his mother's. "Why didn't you offer that too?" "You didn't want to know him, if I remember correctly," she looked away from the screen, staring at her son with consternation. But he didn't respond to her.
He nodded again in understanding. It was all understandable to him. There was no doubt that he had really said that, but he didn't mean it. Although who was supposed to know that, he hadn't told anyone about it. Only he knew how terribly he missed the boy. And at the same time, he was so ashamed of it that he couldn't admit it.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Today's class topic once again didn't fully absorb Soobin's attention. Although this time he really tried to devote himself completely to the professor's words, his gaze still wandered around the second row.He felt overwhelmed by Yeonjun's presence in the lecture hall. Rarely did the university combine classes from different years, but due to one of the lecturers' illness, they made another exception. However, at the wrong time.The elder one hadn't spoken a word since Saturday when he left Soobin's house. Although the younger Choi tried to establish any kind of contact with him, whether by phone or a simple greeting in the university corridor, he was always dismissed. As if he didn't exist. Soobin didn't understand Yeonjun's behavior, although he tried to approach the subject from many angles, his behavior remained irrational. This time Soobin wasn't at fault, right?True, the elder often dismissed the boy's presence, but still gave him a glimmer of hope that he was someone in Yeonjun's life.The end of the class was announced by the loud voice of the older man, causing a great stir. Some students hurriedly started packing their things, while others, not too concerned with the lecturer's words, remained motionless, engrossed in their phones.Soobin felt it was the perfect moment to confront Yeonjun. He couldn't be dismissed forever. He casually threw his books into his bag and headed towards the second row."Yeonjun?" His voice trembled slightly, causing the remnants of his self-assurance to evaporate. Nevertheless, he didn't move from his spot or run away crying. After all, he didn't do anything terrible. He remained, still gazing hopefully at the back of the boy.After a moment, Yeonjun turned around, looking at him with a dull expression. Yeonjun opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but no words came out."Jun, move it, I'm hungry!" shouted the brunette standing behind Yeonjun. Yeonjun immediately turned his gaze away from Soobin and headed forward, nudging him with his shoulder. Then, unfazed, he left the room with his friends.After a while, Soobin heard loud laughter, belonging to one of Yeonjun's acquaintances. Whether they were laughing at him or he was just overthinking it..."Aish, Soobin, get a hold of yourself, I don't like that expression on your face," the boy felt the weight of a hand on his shoulders and turned towards the source of the voice. He let out a small sigh, forcing a smile."Good to see you too, Hyunjin, why weren't you at the lecture?" he threw his arm over his friend's shoulder, sharing some of his burden."I overslept, big guy, I'll keep repeating it, leave that guy alone, you're not the only gay person here," he winked, walking ahead."You think?" he smiled mischievously, sliding his hand down the other boy's waist."Aish, I already have my wonderful boy, find someone else... Although," Hyunjin didn't remain passive, dropping his hand from Soobin's shoulder directly onto his butt.Soobin, feeling the hand on his butt, jumped back as if he were burned. And all the frustration that gripped him manifested itself in a delicate blush on his cheeks. The sight only gave Hwan a stomach cramp, along with stifling laughter.***
Soobin sighed heavily, closing his laptop screen. After a long evening spent on a project, he could finally take a break. He stretched his arms up, extending his tired limbs.
He wanted to throw himself on the bed and fall asleep, hoping that a certain blond would appear in his dreams. It was always worth dreaming.
However, all his desires faded into the background when he heard the sound of his phone. Without wasting time, he rushed towards it, with a faint hope that maybe Yeonjun finally decided to contact him.
A smile appeared on his face when he saw the familiar number.
" Hey, I wasn't expecting you to call.""Well, Soobster, I always try to call you... unlike you.""Aish, don't talk to me like that... Hey... I called you last time!""Oh, come on, details, it was a long time ago and not true.""Don't pout, you're acting like a big baby.""I resent that."" Shhh, kiddo."He smiled to himself, lying down on the bed."How are things going with you, you know, with the academy?""Super duper, I'm a genius, so what do you expect? I'll probably be dancing in the main group soon!""You're kidding! Maybe even as the center? Dreams...""My dreams are realistic, unlike your dreams of being with your crush, ha." Soobin tightened his lips into a narrow line, losing his previous smile. There was a moment of silence.
"Hey Soobin, when will you finally tell him?""...In due time.""Uhhh, but it's been years... It's better to get rejected than to keep suffering like this.""I know... I really do... I just want to get it out of my system... but...""But what?""Because he's straight, you know, he's had so many girls... even if I say something, he might even cut contact with me... I don't want that.""Maybe it would be better, you wouldn't be suffering like this... Soobunny, I'm just worried, you know.""I know, thank you for that... Just give me time.""Sure.""Thanks... so, ummm... good night." "Good night, Soobster. We really need to meet up someday and..."
"He didn't have time to finish his speech when Soobin hastily hung up. He felt overwhelmed by these constant lectures. He didn't like this topic, especially since he had no control over his own heart. Maybe.
He put the phone on the nightstand next to a childhood photo with Yeonjun. Memories of when they were close to each other.
Maybe indeed, if he had listened to others, everything would be easier.
¸„.-•~¹°"ˆ˜¨retrospection¨˜ˆ"°¹~•-.„¸
Soobin was sitting on the floor, leaning against the radiator. It was the only way for him to warm up in this chilly school. He scrolled through his phone, sipping on the disgusting machine tea. Even though he didn't like the taste, it was still something warm that warmed him up from the inside.
"Binnie," Yeonjun groaned, sitting down next to his friend. The younger immediately hung his gaze on the cup, in which the liquid dangerously swayed over the edges of the packaging.
"Hey, watch out, I almost spilled the tea," he said reproachfully, staring at the boy who at that moment leaned his head on his shoulder. This close contact surprised the younger Choi.
"Something happened, Junnie?" he asked.
"No, I'm just tired, these lessons are killing me, but it's comforting to know that it's all waiting for you next year," he chuckled and reached out to Soobin, indicating that he also wanted to drink. The younger one just sighed and handed over the cup.
There was a moment of silence between them. Yeonjun enjoyed the warm tea, which apparently he liked, and Soobin enjoyed the presence of the other. He no longer needed anything to warm up, the presence of his friend worked better than anything else.
"You know what, I think some guy likes me... He writes me letters all the time," Yeonjun whispered, breaking the silence.
"Oh, really? And... what do you think about it? Will you respond to h-him?" Soobin asked nervously, staring at his own knees. He just hoped that Yeonjun wouldn't notice his anxiety.
"About the letter? It's nice, but as for the guy, if he's interested in me, he should just tell me to my face. I'm not going to play any guessing games. We're not in elementary school," he laughed bitterly, putting the letter back in his backpack.
"If he asked you, what would you say?" Soobin looked uncertainly at his friend.
"I would reject him," he said casually, simultaneously destroying any joy on Soobin's face. "You know I'm trying to get with Yeji... Oh, I should hurry up so I don't give anyone false hope."
After a while, the bell rang, freeing Soobin from an awkward situation. The boys said goodbye, heading to their respective classrooms, and the younger one knew that he would need much more to warm up today.
***
A week had passed since their conversation about the mysterious admirer. Yeonjun had finally mustered the courage to ask his classmate out and succeeded in getting the girl's interest, just as he had hoped.
At the same time, he didn't feel completely satisfied because the letters from the unknown boy had stopped. The feeling of being loved was pleasant, but it disappeared so suddenly, leaving a kind of emptiness in Yeonjun's heart. However, he never wondered why it happened.
In the following week, the unknown boy no longer occupied his thoughts, and the letters from the secret admirer were hidden deep in the depths of Yeonjun's closet.