Work Text
"Bawk bawk bawk!" cried out the chicken-bear in indignation.
The sentient price of stationery wasn't sure how to respond. He couldn't understand this bawking. So he chose to ignore the weird hybrid, which made the situation worse as the chicken screeching noises only got louder.It was tumuch, Marker(s) could no longer tolerate this.
What did the chicken hybrid want? Why was he throwing a tantrum? Did Marker(s) do something wrong?
He shifted his gaze towards the chicken-bear and saw the pouting face stare back at him. Bad idea to look.Clearly the hybrid had an issue with him.
Marker(s) pulled the cap off & started writing: 'Do you need something?'
"BAWK BAWK!"…
How did he forget that he was trying to communicate with a bawking chicken-bear. Could the hybrid read? Even if he could, Marker(s) didn't understand a bawk he made.The chicken-bear didn't stop staring and Marker(s) felt that perhaps it was time to leave the office.
As he made his way towards the door, he heard a muffled bawk from behind. As much as he didn't want to deal with a temperamental chicken-bear, he felt bad for his friend.So he altered his path and went to the coffee machine. Maybe some caffeine would cheer up the cranky bird creature.
The hybrid seemed to quiet down at this change.
By the time Marker(s) finished making the drink, the chicken-bear had started working again.He was unsure whether to use this moment to escape or serve the coffee as intended. Against his better reasoning he took the coffee to the hybrid who thanked him with an upbeat bawk.
Marker(s) pulled out the paper from before and showed it to the chicken-bear.'Do you need something?'
The hybrid took a moment to think and then spoke up, "Not really, I was just messing with ya."
...
...
...
The sentient piece of stationary turned around and left. Maybe tomorrow was a good day to get `sick` and not go to work.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The heat in the club coupled with his fur matted down, by all the sweat and spilled alcohol, was getting too much for Pum.Every beat that made its way into his ears worsened his pounding headache. He stumbled around in a daze looking for a way out. The cold midnight air did little to help him once he got outside, instead he felt even more sick."First time here?" A deep croaking voice caught his attention.Unexpected company outside a club was never a good thing, so he tried to pull at the handle but it didn't budge.Shit.Gathering whatever confidence he had, Pum spoke up: "Me? No way. I come here like every week."If there was one thing all those random Youtube videos had taught him, it was that being identified as a lost sheep by a stranger was the first step to getting killed."Do I stand out a lot?" he inquired lightly."Oh, no. Not at all. You just don't seem like a familiar face."What was a familiar face and why did Pum have an unfamiliar one?Maybe Pum was in an off-limits area. To be honest that would explain quite a lot."Sorry I'm looking for a friend. I think I exited through the wrong door.""Wrong door? Maybe. This is the back exit. People come here to do the things they don't allow inside the club."Pum was 99% sure that murder wasn't allowed inside the club."What about you? Do you work here?"With the way his eyes bugged out, clearly the stranger wasn't expecting this question."Work, maybe not. But you could say I'm here looking for someone."Looking for someone in an alleyway typically used for not-safe-for-club activities.HmmmmThis would usually be a red-flag, but Pum was tudrunk tucare."What are you looking for Mr.Frog? A kiss perhaps?" The distant expression on the stranger's face morphed into one of interest."Name's NP. What do you suppose a talking frog like me would be looking for at this hour of the day if not a Prince to kiss?"Was he hallucinating or did the frog just say that to him?Pum was very used to being the one who flirted. This was a rare instance where someone else said such a thing to him instead."I'm Pum" he responded dumbly.Upon a closer look, the frog did seem kinda cute. Perhaps the location didn't do him justice but he could definitely attract a lot of eligible people.Eligible people who'd want to kiss him.Pum tried to clear his throat, suddenly feeling a lot more thirsty.His eyes were locked with the frog's, as he slowly approached him. He hoped his decision was a good one but the butterflies in his stomach made him very anxious.As he leaned forward, he felt his stomach lurch.The frog started to say something which Pum's brain didn't register."Bro I'm joking. I was just here wai-"But Pum's body didn't let NP finish speaking, as he spewed out the contents of his stomach.The retching noises were unappealing to listen to, but the silence that followed was worse than the sounds.Luckily the silence didn't last long, as the door opened up and a worker came out.His eyes fell on the scene of a frog & a red panda standing in close proximity with vomit between them. Taking a deep breath, he turned back around and left them outside with the awkward aftermath of it all.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Elspeth had been nervously scrolling through her phone for hours.
Today was a big day. As big as a day can get when you have a date.
With her thoughts zoomin faster than she would on her scooter, she had no choice but to call up a friend. Read that the term friend was loosely used here.
"Hey, are you free right now?"
"Free is a little cheap, how about we start from $5 and increase the price from there?"
Okay, maybe not a friend at all, more like a pest. But at this hour of the day, that's all Els could afford.
"Haha. Very funny NP. Are you at home or not?"
"Sure I'm at home, what's up?"
The sky her brain supplied traitorously, but she would not stoop to such a low level and say it out loud.
"I have this thing tonight and I need someone's opinion on some stuff, can I come over to your place?"
"Els! I'm so touched that you will consider me ‘a someone’ worth giving opinions about some stuff."
"Don't make me regret this frog boy."
The sound of laughter filtered through the call followed by a: "Just come on over then."
Once again she was wondering why she was even there. Oh yea, for the second opinion she needed on her outfit for the night. Sadly if said opinions came from frogs and endangered animals, they were quite useless.
"I didn't come here to be judged, you know."
NP could sense the apparent frustration in her voice.
"Hey all I'm saying is that you don't have to make such a big deal out of this. Just wear what's comfortable for you."
But just because he could pick up on it, didn't mean he would make the situation better by keeping his mouth shut.
"You have an addiction Els. Admit it!"
Pum shouted in an unnecessarily loud voice, considering he was standing right next to Els looking at all the dresses she had laid out.
"Ugh, you don't get to say anything crackhead."
"Woah, hol up. I ain't ever even touched crack with a 10 foot pole."
Pum responded, lifting his hands up as if surrendering. This gave NP a chance to try and further derail the conversation.
"If not with a pole then with your hands perhaps?"
“Mayhaps.”
"Silence! Both of you. I'm here at the verge of mental collapse & you two still have the gall to joke around like this"
"Okay, but real talk Els, you're really making this bigger than it has to be."
She should have brought some tape with her, maybe not getting any answer was the best answer.
"I think the striped red dress looks nice."
"Pum that is literally the ugliest dress I brought with me."
"What about the black one with the blue dots?"
"This? It's so bland though."
"No, the black that's under the grey."
"Oh that one. I would wear that one Pum-"
Finally the two boys in the room eased up as Els pulled the black dress out.
"-if I was going to NP's funeral."
"Hey why me?"
Ignoring NP, Els picked up a few more dresses and placed them to the side.
And then a few more.
And just a few more, until only three were left on the bed.
"So these are the three eligible ones. Now we need to pick from them."
"Orange." "Green." "White."
The three of them simultaneously said three different colours out of the three choices available.
"Hey why the orange one, it's not even that elegant." Els leveled NP with an indifferent stare.
"What do you mean not elegant, I thought it was eligible for winning." NP cried out.
"I understand the orange, but green, really Els. That's probably the most boring one of the three."
"What's wrong with green it's a good colour."
Quietly in the background NP was doing his impression of 'wHaTs WrOnG wItH gReEn ItS a GoOd CoLoUr.’
In the foreground Pum and Els were having a stare off, and Els was sure she'd win until her alarm went off.
"Shit. I'm almost late for my date."
Els quickly grabbed her phone and the white dress before sprinting out of the room.
"I'll come back for the rest of them tomorrow" she yelled, followed by the sound of the front door closing.
"So...wanna try one of these dresses on to see how it looks?"
"Hey why do I have to try it?"
NP said, a bit threatened by the mischievous look on Pum's face.
"How about a fishy bet?"
Gambling was a scam- still is a scam. NP would not advise anyone to gamble. But he was also not someone to back down from a challenge.
"Oh you're on."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"Would you rather never kill a cat and be known as a cat murderer or kill a cat but no-one ever finds out." For a moment the eyes of everyone in the room were on Domo. Apart from how abrupt it was, the nature of the statement was concerning too.It had been 3 hours full of keyboard typing noises. People pretending to be productive while procrastinating, so a distraction was welcomed."How do people know I've killed a cat, if I've never killed a cat?"The question came from Ice who was getting ready to leave for a night out with friends.Domo seemed to be in deep thought when Isidar spoke up."It's possible that someone spread a malicious rumour about you being a cat killer. Or maybe you were seen at the wrong place at the wrong time and a misunderstanding happened.""That's a good explanation. But with how this works is that people just know you're a cat killer. It's almost instinctual" Domo added."They must have killer instincts then."NP's response to Domo earned him a few chuckles, but no-one else spoke up.Ice wanted to say something until his phone rang and he ended up leaving instead.The room went quiet once for a few minutes before Simmy joined the conversation. "So people just assume you might have killed a cat with no evidence.""Yea. Something like that.""Then if you tell them that it's not true, things should clear up, yea?""Sadly, nobody believes you.""That's stupid.""But realistic.""Why are the details so complicated?"The more she thought about it the more displeased she felt. But she could not come up with a response. The mini-chair next to her swirled around indicating that another participant had been baited. "Based on how silent everyone is, I think I can safely say that people are considering killing a cat. I would rather be known as a cat killer than actually kill one."The words from Tuba, the resident cat, were quite controversial and perhaps far from the truth, but they were still better than a stalemate and silence. "Whaaaa. No I wouldn't.""Me neither.""Yea, I'm just thinking of loopholes.""Then would you guys rather be known as cat murderers and be shunned by society?" This time no-one responded. There were only two options and neither one of them seemed feasible to anyone.Moral dilemma vs societal pressure.Not an easy choice at all."I would kill a cat.""DAVID!""How could you murder a cat?!""This is a new low for you.""I kind of expected David to say that honestly."David's answer might have been worded that way purely to spark chaos. Even if you understood this logic, you would not be immune to his troll-like charms."Hey. I'm just joking." David tried to take a step back due to the backlash. But nobody in the room would give up the chance to call him out on his bullshit. "Tulate, you already confessed to murdering a cat.""Should we stop interacting with David now cause he kills cats?""I think that's how it goes, yea.""David I thought I could trust you but you turned out to be a psychopath." The discussion had moved on by the time Pum walked into the room, all he heard was 'Hide your cats, hide your dogs, David the animal murderer is on the loose.' This out of context statement was enough for him to join in."I am sad to hear that you've resorted to killing animals now David." The man in question chose to ignore everyone. At this point it was impossible for him to salvage this situation alone.‘If you can't beat them or join them, then ignore them’ that was his motto.The remaining participants were quite happy. He had saved them from having to answer such a difficult question themselves.David had acquired a new title of cat murderer. This title would later evolve to something much more cursed, but for now it was just an inside joke to annoy David.