Work Text
Wrath.
Sing, oh goddess, the anger of Waluigi, destructive as it was, which gave the Koopas much grief; and it stripped down to dry bones many strong souls.
But not always was there devastation in the Mushroom Kingdom. Before war, there was peace.
A benevolent and beautiful queen ruled, as sweet and gentle as the fruit of her namesake: Peach.
The Toads lived peaceful lives under her rule, farming in gentle, rolling hills dotted with flowers.
All was calm until the day when four warriors came to seek her hand.
Two brothers, and two even closer.
Twin plumbers from the great Old Donk City, the fierce Mario Aggamarioleus, and the wise Luigi Luigissius.
From the Woody Woods, a warrior of unparalleled might, Waluigi Waluilles, and his faithful companion, Wario Warioclus.
Each sought her hand, but, forced to choose, the queen selected the red-clad Mario— something in his unshakeable determination and fine mustache had swayed her.
Though disappointed, the suitors swore an oath to defend the union to any end.
That, should ruin befall holy matrimony, blood would awash the Mushroom Kingdom.
Thus was the partnership forged.
And each was happy, for a time.
Mario and Peach were wed. Luigi wed another, Daiselope. And Wario and Waluigi remained as close— nay, closer than brothers.Peace, however, was not in the minds of the gods. Seeking entertainment, a competition was proposed: the mortal ruler of the Koopa Kingdom, Bowser Kooparis, would choose from three glorious gods the most beautiful.
Each put forth a bribe.
King Boo, god of the dead and lord of the Underworld, beckoned him with all of the coins one could collect.
Nabbit, the trickster god of vitality, offered him infinite 1-UPs— a permanent hold on life.
But Rosalina, the goddess of the stars, beckoned him with an irresistible prize— the hand of the fairest lady in all of the Kingdoms, Peach Aggamarioleus.
Bowser made his choice, and Rosalina whisked away his reward to his castle in the Koopa Kingdom.
And so did Bowser wrest the hand of Peach from the grasp of marriage,
As did the god of war, Donkey Kong, unto the fair Pauline.
As do the powerful, like ripping fruit from the branch.Thus did the wrath of Mario Aggamarioleus awaken.
Thus did he invoke the oath of his fellow suitors.
Thus did war ravage the land.