Work Text
“The way of the wicked is like darkness;They do not know over what they stumble.”— Proverbs 4:19 Mary had offered a room in the Spread Eagle to Ava the first night the Deputy had rolled into Fall's End in a hail of gunfire and a few well aimed explosions. It was make shift room at best, a sofa pushed up against some crates to give the illusion of privacy while they cleared some more space and opened up a few more of the run down buildings in town. It was an ongoing project, that would likely see well into the next several weeks. Ava didn't want to be a bother—she didn't want to be around that many people all the time. The reality of it was if Joseph or John or another one of those bastard Seeds were going to pick somewhere to cause trouble looking for her it was likely to be in the middle of town.No, it was better she was as far removed as she could be when she had a target the size of Hope County on her back. They couldn't force her out of hiding if she wasn't there in the first place.Was it better for them, or better for her she didn't really know. All she did know was it was harder to get attached to people—to their cause—if she was like a ghost. Ava would roll into town, do what needed to be done and then vanish into the dark of the night with naught but a cougar and a dog for company.It became routine and in routine bred complacency.Her campsite was never supposed to be a campsite. It was supposed to be a tent, a dug in firepit and a string of bells around the perimeter to keep a wandering wolverine from sneaking up on her—the faded bite in the muscle of her calf the first night she spent under the stars saw to the latter addition. As days and nights went by and Ava went undiscovered by the Peggies she soon lost the energy to pack up and set camp every single night. It was too much, she was too tired, barely having the energy to do anything but collapse into her bedroll and tend to her wounds before succumbing to the darkness of exhaustion.So Ava set down roots, out in the woods to the south-west of the Harris estate. There was plenty of game to hunt, shelter amongst the trees. Fresh skins hung on the drying rack she'd rigged and there was at least a weeks worth of meats salted and curing in a safe location to keep the predators from sniffing her out. The rest she sold to whomever would buy. There was even a chair—that was currently straining under the weight of Peaches as she lounged and cleaned her paws.It was nice, homely even, until it wasn't.Ava had just settled down into her bed roll when the crunch of leaves outside her tent made her skin break out in goosebumps. It was too light for Peaches, but too heavy for Boomer. One movement. One step away. Her heart was hammering against the curve of her ribcage. Had her time come—had John finally found her? Would she have to face her sins? She wasn't ready..she'd never be ready.. There was water on her face, in her lungs. John was holding her down and she was reaching frantically for the air-She had enough time to close her fingers around her pistol.It was not John that had come for her.A shot rang out in the night—the din made Ava's ears ache.There was a hole in her tent flap, a few centimetres away from Joseph fucking Seed's head.“Th-that was a warning shot,” Ava spat, gesturing with the business end of her pistol towards the way Joseph had appeared. It had not been a warning shot but Ava didn't know if that was because her hands were shaking or for a reason that scratched at the back of her skull that she refused to give acknowledgement. “Get out.”Joseph had not moved from where he stood—in fact he had not moved at all, one arm still up, holding the flap open for him. In the low light cast from the lamp it was hard to make out his expression but it didn't look like he was armed or brandishing a weapon.“Even now, when I come to you in a moment where you could take it all from me...” Joseph began, disregarding Ava's warning. He stooped down into the tent, bringing himself eye level with the furious Deputy. He moved slowly, though with confidence, as rosary beads clinked together as he bore his palms upwards towards her. “You claim warning, I say it is otherwise. God is still watching even in these twilight hours.”It was almost like a sick mockery of that night. It felt like a lifetime ago now, standing in Joseph's church with him standing in front of her with his hands bared proclaiming that God would not let him be taken. He had been right, whether it had been at the hand of divine intervention or meddling Peggies they had failed and it was what had caused this entire mess.Joseph had closed the distance, the muzzle nestled against his chest. Ava could end it all right now. Just one squeeze of the trigger and she'd blow through Joseph's ribcage and then it would all be over. Finger caressed the trigger and there was silence between them. Joseph was waiting, watching through those tinted fucking aviator sunglasses of his.But it wouldn't be over though would it? There was still the rest of the Seed family, they'd strike back in revenge, more bodies built upon the pyre. The flames of war licked at her heels like one of Jacob's Judges and Ava was sprinting ahead in a desperate attempt to outrun the desolation.Her hands were shaking again, visibly this time, and Joseph did nothing. He merely knelt there and waited... and waited.. like he already knew what the answer was going to be.Ava lowered the gun with a disgusted sound and the corners of Joseph's lips upturned into the ghost of a smile. His hands dropped, clasping together in front of him like he was about to pray.“I don't want to get blood in my tent,” Ava spat as she set the gun down after flicking the safety on with her thumb. “That's all.”Joseph raised a brow, a hum rumbling deep within his chest. They both knew she was lying, and yet this time he seemed to let it go. Kneeling turned to sitting, the pair of them almost mirroring each other in movement.Ava was the first to speak, her voice soft, hesitant almost like she was afraid of speaking too loudly and break this quiet peace.“Did you hurt Boomer and Peaches?” She asked, leaning to the side to try and see around his body outside but the tent flap had fallen back into place, leaving them sealed off from the rest of the world.“No,” Joseph's response came as a surprise to her and she watched as he turned at the waist to lift the obscuring flap to reveal them quite content in where Ava had left them by the remains of a smouldering firepit. “I did nothing to your companions. I have brought no war to your doorstep, no violence. I am not the man the resistance makes me out to be.”He let the flap fall back down, returning his gaze to her face and Ava searched for answers in the lines of Joseph's face. He seemed different, the arrogance and charisma remained but there was something softer underneath the surface. Ava might have even called him handsome but the thought was immediacy discarded as it came to her mind. She was not even going to entertain that line of thinking.“And you are not the woman the resistance makes you out to be, either, are you Avery?”It was the first time he'd ever said her name and Ava felt her heart skip a beat and fall straight into her stomach all at once. Rookie... Rook... Deputy.. Dep. Not Avery, not Ava. Rook was all people ever called her and it had become a mask that she would wear over and over while she carried the burdens of the entire County upon her back. She never asked for this but there was so much that she needed to do. Even now the list grew ever longer because people couldn't sort out their own problems. She was never meant to be a hero. Rook was their hero, she didn't even know who Avery was any more.The world became smaller under the weight of her own turbulent thoughts, the edges of her vision hazy as she almost forgot to breathe—there was water in her lungs again. Ava curled her fingers into her palm, digging small crescents into the scar tissue that already marred there. Pain would keep her grounded, try to breathe, ignore the screaming in her brain, fight the spinning--A hand against her own, gentle, easing red tipped fingers away from the damage it was causing. Joseph was there and Ava didn't know if he was making it better or making it worse but now all that emotion was focussed solely on him.“D-Don't!” Ava hissed, trying to yank her hand away in a fury. “Don't touch me, I don't I-” She couldn't even get the words out any more. They stumbled over each other in a mess of sounds that died on her tongue. She raised her other hand to strike him but he met her half way with a firm grasp upon her wrist. Ava didn't know how he could be so gentle and hard at the same time. He was an oxymoron, opposites wrapped up together yet somehow worked. Ava hated it. She hated him and everything he stood for.“You're tired, are you?” Joseph asked. As he was talking he raised her hand like she wasn't trying to fight him. Lips brushed bruised knuckles, aching fingers. He turned her hand over, kissing the markings her nails had cut into her palm uncaring as blood smeared across his face. Breath was warm against her skin, the scratch of beard stinging the wounds but Ava found she didn't mind the sensation. And that made her even more angry.“How- How dare you! Let me go!” Ava strained against him, pulling her weight backwards in an attempt to free herself but Joseph was like stone, unyielding in his hold and surprisingly calm in the face of Ava's outburst. The rosary beads pressed firm into her skin, indenting into her wrist.“It's okay to be tired, look how far you've run.” Joseph continued in that same gentle tone, even as her nails raked across his cheek. Three red lines were left in her wake though in her frenzy she didn't know if it was her blood or Joseph's own. She was like a wild animal backed into a corner, a dangerous look in her grey eyes.“You don't know anything about me!” She spat the words like a weapon, trying to get underneath his skin in the same way that he'd been crawling under hers with every word.Joseph's glasses had been knocked off in the motion and green eyes were peering back at her. He shifted, still keeping a firm grip on Ava's wrists, knees took the brunt of his weight and he used the small height leverage to lean her back with a push, bending her spine enough that it had to be uncomfortable.Ava should be fighting harder right now, he was far too close and looming above her in a way that made her feel so small and weak. And yet here she was. Here he was. Joseph leaned forward, looking up at her through his lashes.“I know you're begging to be whole again,” Joseph murmured. “I know you're drowning Avery. The water is up to your jaw and you're straining to stop yourself from going under.”The fight left her all at once. Flailing hands falling slack in his grip. She frowned at him, brows knitting together in a pained expression at being read so plainly. No one knew these thoughts. How could he see her pain so easily when everyone else around her was blind?“What do you want from me?” Her voice was as small as she felt and when Joseph released her wrist it merely fell limply at her side. Joseph reached forward, cupping her cheek and letting his thumb brush the arc of her cheekbone, tracing the small scar underneath her eye.“I want to save you.”His hand shifted, running his fingers through Ava's short brown hair to hold the back of her head and pull her into him.She didn't fight him this time, allowing Joseph to pull her back upright and into his space. Eyes fell shut to try and quell the beginnings of tears as they stung. Lips pressed against her forehead in gentle affection before Joseph rested his own in the space where he had kissed.“It's okay,” he said and Ava could feel his breath on her face now, hear his voice almost reverberating around her skull. “I'm here, give me your pain.”The first tear fell and it was like the dam broke. An ungodly sound wailed out from Ava's mouth as she threw her arms around Joseph's torso and collapsed into him. Once she started she couldn't stop, crying for all the pressure put on her, crying for void she felt in the pit of her stomach that never felt filled. She'd been empty for so long even before the mess of Hope County and it was supposed to be a fresh start. It wasn't supposed to be like this. The feelings weren't supposed to haunt her when her old self died.Joseph had made her feel something when he'd been standing in his church staring down at her, something she'd not felt in years.He made her feel alive.And it frightened her.Joseph held her as she pressed her face against the curve of his neck, gently stroking up and down her spine with the tips of his fingers. He said nothing, only making the occasional soothing sound to let Ava get it all out of her system without disruption. He was soft where she was sharp and it brought a strange sense of peace to the pair.Ava hiccupped, clinging to Joseph tighter as her tears stained his shirt. Her whole body shook with the sobs. She didn't remember the last time she had actually cried, it was safer to keep it all bottled up but now the bottle had smashed into tiny fragments and Ava didn't know how to put the pieces back together. She was sinking and the only thing keeping her from completely under was the warm steadfast presence of Joseph keeping her upright.Eventually the downpour became a trickle and Ava became still, listening to the sound of Joseph's breathing.“Will you stay with me? I.... I don't want to be alone. I... I can't..” Voice was hoarse against her throat, the words scraping and tasting metallic on her tongue. Joseph inclined his head downward, pressing another kiss to her head.“Just for tonight.”Reluctantly Ava pulled herself away, pausing when she saw the marks she'd left on Joseph's cheek. She reached up and he let her touch his face, leaning into the bloodstained digits. Guilt welled up like a lump in her throat and for a second she felt the urge to cry once more. No tears fell. She had no more tears to shed.“I'm sorry,” she whispered.Joseph reached up to take her hand once more and this time Ava didn't fight him as he kissed each finger and each mark she had inflicted upon her skin. His gaze was burning into her through the gaps of her fingers.“You are forgiven,” He spoke into her palm again, causing a shudder to work it's way up Ava's spine. He released her hand, gesturing around the small tent and what few belongings Ava actually owned. “Do you have a first aid kit?”Ava nodded, turning to reach for her field backpack. Out came the yellow tin, passed to Joseph. She thought he was going to use it on himself, but before she'd even had a chance to put the backpack away Joseph reached for her hand again.“This will sting, but though this pain you will find the path to salvation,” Joseph said as he opened the kit with his other hand. He was slow, methodical, as he worked brows knitting together in a thin line of concentration. He soaked cotton balls in antiseptic, dabbing at each crescent shape until it was clean.Ava hissed air in through her teeth but fought her natural instinct to yank her hand back.“I will heal my people and let them enjoy abundant peace and security,” He began to wrap her palm in a small bandage turning it over and over before securing it with a small piece of tape. “If you feel the need to mark your skin you should wear your sins correctly, only then will you truly begin to heal. John can help you.”All at once the fragile peace shattered as Ava scrambled away with a shake of her head. Fear was writ all over her face. It was too much, the memories too raw. She felt like she was drowning. Joseph paused, studying her before offering an outstretched hand and a kind, patient expression.“You're not ready,” he did not scold her as he spoke, he did not even judge her, and slowly slowly Ava edged her way back towards him like a frightened animal. He took her into his embrace, cradling her as he laid them both down on top of her bedroll.Ava rested her head against Joseph's chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as he draped an arm over her side. She felt safe here, tucked in against him like the world and the troubles outside her tent just didn't exist.“I'm afraid,” Ava said, fingers bunching the material of his shirt.“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Joseph said, stroking across Ava's ribs as he spoke. She could feel his voice rumbling against her, slow and steady and lulling her into a content sleepy warmth. “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. I, too, have been afraid, filled with fear for my people and the reckoning to come. But I follow the Voice and now I walk the path with the knowledge I need to protect us all. You just need to believe.”He pressed his lips to the hair and Ava shifted to look up at him. Noses brushed and Joseph kissed the corner of her mouth before turning his head away.“Sleep now, your fears cannot find you while I'm here. I will protect you.”Ava settled back against him and stopped fighting the urge to stay awake. The last thing she heard was the sound of Joseph's heartbeat with the steady rise and fall of his breathing.---He was gone in the morning when Ava awoke, but wrapped around her bandaged hand was Joseph's wooden rosary and a small white and gold bound book on her pillow. Ava scowled and reached for the book with the intention of.. well she didn't know any more. She should throw it in the fire, pack up her camp and be done with it.She opened the book and written on the inside cover in a steady careful hand was a single phrase. She traced the handwriting with her finger and a strange sense of warmth overcame her body.'When you're ready.'----Joseph returned to the compound early in the morning, even now his chosen flocked to greet him at the gates. A passing touch, a gentle wish. They reached for him and for a time he stopped to greet them, not singling one out but giving each and every one a single moment they could cherish.He was only pulled away when John approached, a concerned look shadowing the smile that he so often wore.“What did she do to you?” He asked, gesturing to Joseph's face—and the marks that he carried from the night. “I'll drag her out here kicking and screaming from that tent. How dare she lay a hand on you. She's an animal. I'll take the fingers that touched you one by one.” The more John spoke the more he worked himself up, his entire body going rigid with poorly contained wrath. Joseph exhaled heavily, closing the distance to place a hand on John's shoulder.“You will do no such thing,” Joseph said sharply. He put the smallest amount of pressure with his thumb and forefinger, squeezing lightly. The fire in John died out, and a flicker of another emotion entirely haunted his expression. It pained Joseph to see it, but sometimes it was necessary to temper John's more sadistic tendencies.“I have plans for our dear Deputy dear John,” Joseph changed his tone of voice, morphing it into something soft and sweet. “She is on the precipice of change and we need to give her a nudge in the right direction. You will leave her camp alone. Continue on your path and she will fall into your waiting arms. Patience. Do not let your sin prevent that. ”John swallowed thickly, nodding and with that Joseph released him. He reached up to rub his shoulder and neck subconsciously.“Yes Father.” John said.“Good, now come along, we have much work to do.” Joseph beckoned for John to fall into step with him as the gates closed.Joseph had plans for them all.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
That first day Ava spoke to no one, didn't even check in on the radio. She was a ghost haunting her own camp as she decided what to do. Twice she'd packed up the bare bones with the intention of running. Running was what she was good at. Those bastards knew where she was and they'd come for her sooner or later. She needed to leave before they dragged her back kicking and screaming...And then twice she'd unpacked her camp, putting everything back exactly the way it had been the night before. That took up the better part of the morning into the early afternoon. If they already knew where she was and hadn't come for her then were they ever going to? Ava was conflicted, her stomach turning in knots, even Boomer knew there was something wrong. He whined and pressed a wet nose into her leg.Ava took to a knee, hand reaching out to scratch behind the ears.“Hey buddy,” She said, pressing her nose into the fur at the top of his head. Boomer barked and bounced, butting against Ava lightly and coating her cheek with kisses.“I don't really know what to do, I...” She huffed at her own thoughts, falling back on her rear in the dirt with a resound grunt. “I like it here. I'm.. so stupid. I shouldn't of got attached. Laying down roots always brings trouble. But... it seems like they already know.. and if they already know then I'm better off putting my energy into something else.”Boomer whined laying across her legs, content to get pats all the way down his spine.“What do you think Boomer? Do you think we're safe? Go on boy, go guard from the Peggies,” Ava ordered and slapped his butt a few times. Boomer in return barked and jumped up, not guarding at all but bouncing around like he wanted to play.Despite herself Ava smiled, pushing up off the floor while waving off the energetic pooch.“Alright, alright Boomer hold on,” Ava called out to him as she made her way back into the tent. There was a chewed up old baseball somewhere in here. She began rummaging, opening a few bags but there was a tugging at the edges of her mind. Her attention kept returning to that white and gold bound book she'd left on top of her bedroll. The rosary was piled on top of it.Apart from the inscription Ava hadn't delved deeper into the writings but now it was calling to her like an itch under her skin that she couldn't scratch.Ava ignored it, finally finding the tattered old baseball. She backed out the tent, feeling the way her heart lurched when she tore her gaze away from that little book.“Go on Boomer, fetch!” Ava threw the ball probably harder than she should off, sending it off into the trees. A cloud of dirt was kicked up as Boomer set off in hot pursuit, barking up a storm. It made Ava smile.She didn't need anything else. This was all she needed. No Joseph, no Eden's Gate, no salvation. She just needed everyone to leave her alone.The jingle of warning bells disrupted Ava's peace and she whirled around on the spot wide eyed. How could she be so stupid how fucking foolish to think she'd simply be left in peace. Hand went to her holster, closing around the grip. She'd rather die than go back-It was only Peaches, dragging a half eaten carcass back to camp.Ava tried to remember how to breathe but the air had left her lungs and would not return. She crouched down, all but curling into as smaller ball as she could balanced on the balls of her feet. The edges of her vision blurred out and there was wetness on her cheeks—when had she started crying? Instinctively fingers began to curl in, finding only the padding of bandages in the way. They felt soft, catching against her nails and the threads pulling lightly. It was almost enough to slow her down but then suddenly there was a sniffing nose in her face and Ava was knocked backwards as Boomer came barrelling back with the ball.“N-No!” She scurried back until her back hit a tree, hands coming up either side of her head to grip her short hair. Everything was ringing, like a dull tone all around her. Boomer whined, following to nudge with his snout and bring the ball with him.It was too much. Everything was too much. The light was too bright, the sound was too loud somewhere far away Boomer laid against Ava's feet. She could feel the weight but it was muted, distant, like it was happening to someone else through a thick glass window.Peaches purred a steady rumble somewhere to Ava's left, a thick heavy paw padding at her arm. Blood on her jacket—probably from Peaches recent kill—the scent of it was everywhere. Bark pressed into her back, the tree unmoving even as the world slid of tilt.Ava lurched forward, a hand splaying out into the blur that was Boomer. His fur was soft, warm, muscles shifted under touch. Discomfort dug at her ribs as Boomer clambered into her lap. It forced her legs down and Ava was too lost to stop him. She could feel the ground beneath her thighs, the rock sticking in at the back of her knee, Boomer's claws dragging as he walked all over her. The physical sensations were piercing the walls built up.“Damn...it...” Ava wheezed and pressed her face into Boomer's chest. Okay, she was coming back to herself, slowly. Remember inhale and exhale... listen to Boomer panting. Inch by inch the world straightened out. She didn't know how long she stayed like that but Boomer and Peaches stayed nearby until Ava was right enough to reward Boomer by finally throwing his ball in a half hearted toss.Boomer didn't run to get it right away, giving Ava a few sniffs and kisses before trotting off in pursuit. Ava felt exhausted already and she'd barely done anything. In fact, she'd done nothing. All that effort for nothing. She was still exactly where she was that morning when she'd woken up with a camp that had been packed up and set up multiple times in her indecision.“Ughh..” She snorted a disgusted sound while hauling herself into an upright, standing, position. What a worthless day. Moving was still a little difficult, the haze was in her limbs and shaking it out only agitated how tired she felt.“Alright Peaches, let's get that deer carcass out of camp,” Ava began, giving the big cat a few affectionate scratches. Her steps were uneven and uncertain but Peaches was beside her and it gave her a little more confidence. “I might as well do something useful tonight.” --- That night, before Ava fell to sleep she thumbed through the first few pages of the book Joseph had given her. She didn't really read the words, well, she didn't read any words but the neat cursive of Joseph's own handwriting on the inside cover. They were the ones that brought her the most comfort.Is this what it was like to believe in something? The warmth in her gut and the softness to the world? It was a strange feeling, but not unpleasant. Did Joseph really mean them? Could she trust him?Each letter was traced with her index finger before she scowled at her own hands. They were dirty, mud and dried blood staining her skin. Her nails were long and sharp like a feral creature. Ava was almost afraid of tearing the pages if she caught them wrong.She shouldn't be touching the book while she was like this. Joseph would probably tell her that it was okay. She could hear the calm,steady, cadence of his voice in her head and feel his hand upon her shoulder guiding her.' You have only just started your path, the details will come in time. Focus on the broad strokes. Focus on yourself.'She heard him like he was here in the tent with her and Ava had to turn and look over her shoulder just to see if he was holding the flap open once more.She was almost sad to see it remained lowered.Attention turned back to the book and the smudge she left upon a crisp clean page. It was wrong. She was wrong.But... Ava wanted to be better.It had started as a fleeting thought, loose threads that slowly weaved into something more concrete. She did want to be better. Even if it was something as small as this.She set the book down and grabbed a water bottle, paused, then grabbed the first aid kit. There were clippers in there. She should cut her nails and change the bandages. Maybe then she would feel worthy enough to touch the gift given to her.Ava's hands were a battlefield. Once upon a time they might have been considered beautiful. Long slender fingers and pale soft skin but now those same fingers were slightly crooked from badly healed breaks. There was still an indent on her ring finger from a broken promise—never forgiven and never forgotten. Scars wound around the digits and spread into the self made ones on her palms which were rough and smooth all at once, a mix of scar tissue and dug in crescent wounds.Ava scowled, throwing the dirty bandages in the pile meant for trash and began to wash the grime away.For a moment, the ghost of her haunted her bones. She spread her fingers and stretched them out, like she was going to play an invisible piano in front of her like she was back in Fall's End in church. Her joints didn't hurt as much any more—maybe the bow had helped strengthen her hands—and maybe she could actually play something if given half the chance.The thought was soured as soon as it appeared, distant memories like the sharp snapping of digits one by one reminding her why she'd never play again.Out came the nail clippers, removing the sharpness into something more... human. It wasn't perfect, or straight, but it was definitely a start.It was a start. There was a satisfied feeling spreading in her chest, a lightness. Ava smiled, turning her hands over and running them against each other like she was exploring them for the first time. She did feel a little more worthy and when she returned to her tent she reached for the book once more. Not to read, just to simply hold it close and bask in the feeling.The radio was by her bedroll. Ava stared at it long and hard as she thumbed the gold leaf pages absent-mindedly. She... wanted to hear his voice. Not the voice in her head—the real thing. Fingers closed around it and Ava tuned through the channels until she found the one she wanted. She'd turned off it not long after John started his broadcasts and they were beginning to grate on her. It was a shot in the dark, but what had she got to lose?“Joseph?” Her voice was small, hesitant even as she spoke into the radio.Silence was given back to her. It stretched out until it was ringing in her ears. Ava was about to give up and turn it off when it crackled to life and a calm voice reached out.“Joseph is busy right now, over.” Jacob Seed's voice rang through the little speaker.Relief and fear washed through her all at once like a cold chill. She'd not seen much of Jacob, there had been a few excursions into the Whitetail Mountains but after her first few run ins with Judges Ava turned tail and returned back to Holland Valley where she could camp out in peace save the occasional wolverine. Ava stared at the radio for several minutes, unsure, before it made another sound.“Have the Judges got your tongue, Deputy? Over.” She could almost hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.“No.. No, I'm here Jacob,” Ava paused, contemplating her next words carefully. “I didn't think I'd get this far to be honest with you,” Another pause. Oh, right. “Over.”“Someone is always listening to this channel, just for you. That was the Father's will. Over.”The statement made a smile tug at the corners of Ava's lips. Joseph was here for her in his own way.“Would you give Joseph a message from me? Over,” Ava asked, idly tracing the golden sigil on the front of the book.“I will. Over.” There wasn't even a delay in Jacob's reply.Ava pondered over what she wanted to say, nervousness creeping into her thoughts. It was easier to talk to Joseph, hell it was easier to talk to John but Jacob was a wall she didn't know how to climb.She didn't want him to think she was weak—because she was. She was afraid and broken and her demons tasted like river water and smoke, but before that they wore a different face and it was lurking in the surface even now. She was weak and strong all at once, the sharp jagged edges of herself used as a weapon to keep herself safe and her thoughts shifted with the realization. She was approaching this—approaching Jacob all wrong. She couldn't be a startled meek creature—Jacob would eat her alive.“Deputy?” Jacob prompted when she didn't respond.“Right, sor-” She cleared her throat. Don't apologize, it shows weakness. Confidence swelled in her, so much so she sat a little straighter as she spoke. “Tell Joseph thank you, for yesterday, he helped. Over.”“I will,” Jacob said, and Ava swore that he almost sounded proud, as if he'd detected the subtle change in how she communicated with him. “Continue cutting that weakness away, piece by piece Deputy. Dead flesh festers, scars mean you survived. Over and out.”The radio went dead. Ava stared at it, at least that confirmed her thoughts that Jacob Seed was more perceptive than she gave him credit for. She supposed he'd have to be to be running those mind games of his. She pressed the button to transmit one last time.“I will, Jacob. Over and out.”She knew he'd be listening based on what he said earlier, even if he didn't respond. A calm settled over her, it was a strange feeling but Ava felt content as she settled down to sleep. For the second time is as many nights Ava fell into a deep, peaceful, sleep the Book of Joseph clutched tightly in her grip. --- The second day was more productive than the first.While Ava had decided that she was going to keep her camp exactly where she made it, that didn't mean she wasn't paranoid. There seemed to be some uneasy, unspoken, understanding between her and Seed family but that didn't mean all that followed them would be in that loop.Peaches was hot on Ava's heels as she began a hike around her territory. There were hunting traps that needed to be reset anyway if she was going to stay.The more she said it, the weirder it sounded. Stay. For someone who had been running for so long making the conscious decision not to when she really probably should filled her with a nervous energy. It wasn't bad energy either, just something buzzing under the surface. A smile broke out across Ava's face and there was a little bounce to her step that wasn't there before.“C'mon Peaches, race you!” Ava called out as she took off with a gleeful cheer. Leaves crunched underfoot as Ava set off in a full blown sprint with the Cougar yowling and chasing. Trees were a blur as she weaved between them, the wind rushing past her face in a cold burst.She didn't stop until she came to the first boundary where she came to a halt, chest heaving heavily from the sudden exertion. Peaches barrelled past her and Ava let out a breathy chuckle while leaning against a tree. While catching her breath Ava surveyed the markers she'd set. It didn't look like anything had been disturbed—which was a good sign. Either the Peggies weren't searching this far up or they assumed she was somewhere else. Peaches stretched, flopping down in the dirt until Ava gestured with a wave of her hand to follow once more. Right, now down to the road. Ava didn't run this time, the roads brought people and cars be it friend or foe.She heard them before she saw them, there was shouting ahead through the break in the trees. Ava pressed her back to the thick trunk in front of her while gesturing for Peaches to get down. A burst of gunfire—it sounded like a skirmish of some sort.She reached up to remove her bow from her back, the red decals glinting in the light that came through the canopy above. Next came an arrow from her quiver, notched into the bowstring. She didn't draw it yet but the familiar weight of it in her hands brought her comfort and courage for what came next.The shouting continued then came the screech of tires on the asphalt and all was silent. Ava didn't know if the silence was a good thing or a bad thing so she approached with caution, pulling her bow up to look down the magnified scope.The cultists had won, it appeared, based on the civilians on their knees in the middle of the road with their hands on their head. Ava's lips tugged downward into a sharp frown. Great another problem she had to fix. She could just leave, not get involved. Let nature take it's course. Her fingers twitched around the bow string. She could kill the civilians rather than risk bringing the cult further down upon her...It would be a mercy to save them from whatever John had planned. She could save them from their own cleansing, save them from the weight of their sins dragging them deeper into the water...Ava drew the bow back, lining up one of her shots with one of the kneeling civilians. It would be quick and painless. It was better this way. If they were weak enough to get captured in the first place they'd constantly be needing to be rescued...Brows furrowed together, the thud of her heartbeat was rushing in her ears. She was watching the cultists walk up and down the line of people. He raised the butt of his gun, cracking it against a woman's skull and causing her to fall forward.“Fuck,” Ava exhaled as she changed her target at the last second, losing the silent war with herself. The bow string flew past her cheek, propelling the arrow forward. Her indecision and movement had changed the trajectory ever so slightly and the cultist let out a wet gargle as the arrow pierced his throat. He went down, clutching at it in a feeble attempt to stop the spray of blood.“Peaches, now,” Ava hissed, gesturing with her hand before she notched another arrow. Peaches took off somewhere to her left and Ava sprinted forward. Four cultists left, there was a scream as Peaches found her target. Three.It took them a second to realize what was going on, but Ava wasn't hiding any more as she broke through the tree line. She pulled the bowstring taut and let the next one fly. It hit her target in the shoulder.“ARGH- We're under attack!” He called out, ignoring the arrow in favour of turning his gun on the woman who shot him.Ava slid forward, pressing against the guardrail as bullets flew over head a little too close for comfort. She could hear his feet shuffling forward, then he stopped to reload. Now was her time. Over the rail she went, closing the distance. He fumbled with his magazine at the sudden aggression and Ava put her weight into the punch that connected with his jaw. He stumbled backwards, dazed before he was knocked forward by the full weight of an angry Cougar pouncing on him with intent to kill.“Good Peaches,” Ava called out as she ran past, running a hand over the soft fur of Peaches back. Two.Said cultists were scrambling into their truck, tires screeching as they floored it in an attempt to get away from the Deputy and her beast. A few bullets were sent not her way but at Peaches, narrowly missing the feeding big cat.Ava scowled. She was going to let them go, but then they'd decided to shoot at her cat. Shoot at her, fine, shoot at the hostages, go ahead. But leave Peaches out of it.She notched an arrow, walking into the middle of the road so she could line up her shot. It was a long stretch of road that remained mostly flat. She just needed to adjust for speed and wind. A pause, she didn't need to rush. Just wait for the perfect moment. Ava exhaled after a few seconds and as she did the arrow was released.The driver wasn't expecting an arrow to the back of his head through the glass window. He died instantly, slumping forward and spinning the wheel until the car crashed into one of the trees that lined the road. Ava waited a few minutes to see if someone would come crawling out the passenger seat, but no one did.Satisfied she turned back to the hostages after putting her bow back on her back. They'd scrambled off to hide behind one of the cars but with the fighting over they came out of the woodwork. Ava counted two of them and after turning to check the other vehicle she spotted the woman. She was bleeding, but alive at least.“Thanks,” the man said as he approached Ava with a casual wave. “You really saved our necks.”Ava had to resist the urge to scowl at the man. She instead walked past him to retrieve her arrows, kneeling down down to pull out the first one from the cultist's shoulder.“You could've helped, you know? When all hell broke loose,” Ava said curtly without looking at the man. She grunted as the arrow came free and she brought it up to examine it.The footsteps behind her stopped and Ava would put money on the fact he probably had a dumbstruck look on his face.“You seemed to have it handled, Deputy,” He replied cautiously and Ava picked up the shift from comfortable to wary. Good.The arrow was useless, the shaft had bent beyond fixing. She discarded it to the road with a sneer and stood. Sooner or later she'd have to replace the ones she'd broken. She was now down to five... no.. wait four. She wasn't going to fetch one from a car wreck after all.“Yeah, I guess you're right,” Ava said with a shrug, glancing at him over her shoulder. Cowards. She walked towards the other body. Knee pressed into his chest as she yanked the bloodied arrow from his throat. It spattered blood against her shirt, a few stray droplets hitting her face. “You should get back in your car and make your way to Fall's End.”Peaches entered her periphery, muzzle and front bloodied and Ava leaned over to give her a pet before wiping her jaw with the sleeve her jacket. This arrow seemed fine, she wiped it on the dead cultists shirt and put it back in her quiver.The people were hesitating, Ava could hear the way their shoes scuffed on the asphalt, waiting. It was never simple. People always wanted more.“Would you come with us? We could use the protection.”Ah there it was.All these people do is take.Ava stood and leaned her head back to look up at the position of the sun, a hand following to shield her eyes as if she was actually considering their words. There would probably be enough time to get to Fall's End and back.“No,” Ava said simply. She lowered her head down, gesturing towards the guns dropped by the dead cultists. “You've plenty of protection here. Take your car and go.”She didn't turn back to look at them, merely patting her leg for Peaches to fall into step with her. They got a few feet away before the sound of the man's voice rang out again.“But Dep-”“-I said NO.”Ava didn't give them a chance to finish their pathetic pleading. She whirled around on her heel with a snarl. Peaches sensed her agitation, a low rumble thrumming in the Cougar's chest. The three of them backed away, fear bleeding into their expression. A small part of Ava felt satisfied at it, they should be scared of her. Maybe then they'd stop asking her to run stupid errands.“I already saved you, I ain't your fuckin' babysitter. Get in your car and go.” Ava threw her hand out, pointing towards their vehicle. “You're not the only group of people I gotta save, can you do something for yourselves for once? I'm not going to hold your fucking hand.”It would've been easier to just let the cult take them. That's what she gets for getting involved. Before Ava turned away she saw the way they looked at her almost with disgust at her reaction. Ungrateful the lot of them.This time they didn't stop her as she hopped over the guardrail and returned to the safety of the forest.
Jacob was right.
The thought came to the surface as she took the long route back to camp. The dead weight of the weak was just dragging her down. There was no rest for her, it was always something. Save this person, do this for me, can you do that for me? Most of the time she didn't even get a thank you, instead getting another task put in her lap because she was the only one strong enough to do something.She kicked a rock in frustration, sending it off through the trees and startling a few deer. They scattered with bleats of alarm and Peaches took off in pursuit. That at least made Ava smile. Animals didn't apologize for their nature, or try to hide it. They simply just was. The strong survived and the weak... well.. there was no room for the weak in this world.The tranquillity of her walk came to an end when the radio buzzed to life and Ava's expression instantly dropped back into that same annoyed scowl.“Kid, you still alive out there?” Dutch's voice came through the speaker and further soured Ava's mood.She could simply just not reply but Ava knew that would cause even more problems. With a world weary sigh she reached for the accursed radio.“Yeah, I'm here Dutch,” Ava said. “Had some trouble close to camp so I've been on the down low. Over.”It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. No one needed to know about Joseph's visit.“That's good, people were beginning to worry John had gotten his hands on you again. Over.” Dutch said. To his credit, actually sounded worried but Ava didn't know if that was because he actually cared about her or if they didn't want to lose their prime asset.“No, nothing like that,” Ava replied, the corners of her lips tugging into a bit of a grin as she continued to speak. “I'm still kicking. You keep worrying like that you're going to lose your hair. Over.”There was silence for a minute.“You're funny, kid. Glad to see the cult hasn't killed your sense of humour yet,” Dutch said with the most deadpan tone she'd ever heard from him. “Anyway when you get a moment can you swing by Rye & Sons Aviation? Nick could really use a hand. Over.”Ava scraped a hand over her face, pinching the bridge of her nose and then up through her hair. She couldn't catch a break.“Sure Dutch, I'll go tomorrow, by the time I get there it will be the middle of the night and I'm fuckin' tired. Over and out.”Ava didn't wait for a response before she turned the radio off. She'd turn it back on in an hour or so but right now she just wanted some peace and quiet.Tomorrow would be noisy so she better make the most of the silence while she could.