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When he watched the fireworks light up the sky, Nero was sure this was gonna be a good year. He deserved it. He had worked very hard to get where he was now, out of the dirt, out of the darkness. It could get better, now that he had cleared the path. He had been miserable for far too long.
Now it was gonna be better. Maybe he could even start throwing out some new music again. He had managed to stumble across Skold whom he was gonna work with. And through Skold, he also had found the opportunity to play as an opening act. Life was looking good, bright. It was still a bit hard to believe he had left everything old behind him, it felt a bit bitter. It would take him some time to get used to it, but that he had now. And he finally also wasn’t all alone anymore.January was a good month. He had taken a good two weeks to himself to catch his breath and felt like approaching something new. So he did that, doing the first step in the right direction.
Last year he had met Skold, in the dark corners of a club. Back then he had barely been able to keep a clear head. Always been blue or high or on some other shit. He had barely recognised the man. It had been a collaboration offer and of course he had accepted. He knew Skold. Played bass for Manson, produced Motionless in White, someone you just knew. And he hadn’t understood why Skold would make such an offer, but he had taken it, that was just how he was.
It didn’t go good though. He had been three hours late to the meeting at the studio, shown up entirely high, messed up every of his lyrics, broken some equipment and started stress with Skold, pushing him around.
The white haired man had sent him home. Told him to get better, go to a clinic, then come back. Left him a phone number to call when he was ready.
Nero had been furious. He had felt perfectly fine and didn’t even bother answer the man. He could do well on his own, so he thought. He first had had to get worse before he could realise that maybe the old man had been right. Once in a clinic, he had given Skold a call. And the man had suggested starting in the new year, yet kept up the contact until then. And who would have known, talking to Skold actually worked out when you were sober.Nero sat on his sofa now as he called the number, feeling a bit anxious. They hadn’t talked about the collab ever since, and he hoped Skold hadn’t changed his mind. Actually he was pretty sure about that, but 100%. At this point he kind of wished he wasn’t sober, cause then he wouldn’t care enough to be anxious. But apparently being anxious was a part of his new life.
He had his legs crossed, looking at the shiny, comfy joggers he wore at home and the fluffy, black glitter socks that kept his feet warm. While he waited for the man who was something of a friend now to pick up, he looked around his apartment. During December he had made quite some changes. He had moved, actually. The apartment was smaller now, but it had big windows and let in a lot of light. It was cleaner now, less cramped. Prettier. Actually he had made quite the big change. Had went from his messy appearance to clean makeup and glitters stones. He felt well with it. He did kind of leave the niesche he had been in, especiallymusic wise, but it made him feel better, way less miserable.
Skold picked up. There was a sudden noise at Neros ear that pulled him out of his thoughts and even startled him a bit.
“Hello Kiddo.”
Right, Skold had this nickname for him. Because he was younger, but also because the white haired man was just bigger, music wise. He often tried to rebel against the name, but actually he was fine with it.
“Hi. You said in the new year, right? Well what was your plan?” He stumbled over his words. Were Skold a bit cheerier, he was sure the man would have laughed.
“Easy, easy. I said we should do this when you’re better. Are you?”
Well, why else would he call. Nero found this to be a stupid question. Also, he didn’t like being doubted. “Of course I am! Just tell me where and when to show up.”
“Why don’t you come over the next time I record, first? I’ll take a look at you myself.”
Oh. Well that was kind of disappointing. His first impulse was to be offended and give an upset response, but he managed to hold back. He knew that wouldn’t convince Skold of him having bettered himself. If he had to get through this first, so he would.
“..Okay. When would that be?”After getting the time and day from Skold, the studio was still the same as before, they hung up and Nero went back to the routine he had tended to these last days, trying to stay as stable as possible. He mostly checked on how others displayed themselves online and picked things up there. Making tea, eating light things instead of fast food, keeping the curtains open and making your bed, all those things. After he finished those, he stood in the middle of his bedroom and stared at the neatly straightened blanket. It felt wrong. Living this calm and silent felt wrong. Yet it was what everyone told him to do. The internet, his psychologist, also some old friends he had caught up with. Who had left him years and years back to tend to a healthier lifestyle. They praised him now, telling him he was doing the right thing.
Maybe it was. Yet it didn’t quite feel that way. This super clean, pretty goth scene just wasn’t his. But something inside him had changed and he didn’t feel like wanting to be a dirty, drug addicted mess anymore either. He had no idea what he was, but right now this was his best bet. It was better than falling back into addiction anyway. Maybe he just had to get used to it. Working with Skold could help. He would have to see. It was only two more days until the meeting anyway.