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Dean’s hand was shaking when he reached for her. His palm felt like fire against her icy cheek and the tips of his fingers curled gently into her skin.

Tears flooded his eyes but Y/N saw past the wetness, diving into a deep sea of green, marveling at the golden flecks as they sparkled in the dying sunlight.

The light was fading fast; color drained from the world around her, but his eyes stayed true. His gaze locked on her face, pupils wide and searching.

“Baby…” His voice cracked around the tears as he slipped his left hand behind her head, gently lifted her face to his. “Stay with me.” His lips trembled as he spoke, pushing out the words around the terror that rose in his throat. “Baby come on!”

Y/N struggled to take a breath but the bitter taste of pennies hit her tongue. A shattering cough wrecked her bones as the blood filled her throat. It bubbled up and out, spilling down her chin as she looked up into those spectacular green eyes.

“De-”

He looked so lost, so innocent; like a child forgotten in a crowd. His grip on her tightened and he dropped a hand to her chest, pressing down on the gaping wound.

“Y/N, hang on…” He lifted his head, eyes leaving hers as he screamed for help. “Sam! Damnit, Sam- we need help!”Missing his eyes, she clawed at his hand, too weak to lift her fingers to his cheek. He came back to hers and his world shattered.

“Y/N… please-”

A smile tickled her blood-stained lips as her vision began to blur. The forest around them, the setting sun, the cool breeze meant nothing. There was only the brilliant green of his eyes and the warmth of his touch.

“Dean, I-”
 Y/N woke with a start, grabbing for the hole in her chest and finding nothing but the soft, worn cotton of Dean’s old AC/DC shirt. The blood was gone and the forest had vanished.Beside her, Dean stirred and his heavy hand slid across her lap. “You OK?” His voice was thick with sleep and he cracked one eye open.“Just a dream,” she told him, slinking back down next to him. His arm moved up to her middle and he locked her there, half beneath him, safe in his arms.“Anything good?” he asked, quickly slipping back to sleep.The dream lingered. She could almost feel the damp earth beneath her back, smell the airy woods, feel the wind. Her tongue was heavy and the taste of blood came back for an instant before she shoved it away.“No. Nothing good.”Dean sighed and shifted closer, nuzzling his nose into the crook of her neck. “I got you, princess,” he whispered. “Always.”It wasn’t long before Dean was out cold once more, but Y/N was afraid to close her eyes. The dream had felt so real, so strong, that she was afraid to be sent back if she relaxed. She lay with her eyes fixed on the plaster ceiling, trying to push away the fear and conjure up a new dream.She let her mind wander, pretending like she used to do as a child. She imagined a little house in the country with a few acres of emerald grass and dogs playing in the front yard. She put herself in the old-fashioned kitchen, making fresh lemonade and watching out of the window as Dean worked on the tractor engine. Sweat was glistening on his brow and a line of dirt streaked across his cheek.She sighed happily and let herself melt into the mattress.

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Morning came with a rolling hunger in her gut and Y/N climbed out of the warm bed and into her slippers. She left Dean to rest, taking a quick moment to stare at his softly closed eyes and freckled cheeks, wondering what he was dreaming.He let out a loud and satisfied snore and she held in a laugh.Sam was up and in the kitchen, standing over the toaster as if he were guarding it from some impeding army.Y/N crept in, slippers hiding her footsteps from his ears.When the toast popped, she snuck in, grabbing the closer piece before Sam could register what was happening.He spun towards Y/N just in time to see her jab the corner into her mouth. “Hungry?” he asked with a laugh.“I am,” she grinned. “Thanks.”Sam rolled his eyes and took the other piece from the toaster.“Didja make any coffee?”He clicked his tongue. “You know I did.”Y/N leaned against the counter and batted her eyes at him.“Would you like a cup?”She smiled. “I would. Thank you.”Reluctantly, Sam walked to the pot and poured her a mug of fresh coffee. “You know I’m not a waiter, right?”Y/N dropped the dry toast and hopped up onto the counter, reaching for the offered cup. “But you’re so good at it.”“You want jam?” Sam picked up her toast and added it to his plate. “Grape or strawberry?”Y/N inhaled a deep breath of coffee and closed her eyes. “Surprise me.” She took a sip and felt the heat roll down her throat and into the very core of her being. It spread out like a wave through every inch and she hummed happily.She let herself relax, feeling the heat from the mug, the cool of the stainless steel counter beneath her ass. She heard the scrape of Sam’s knife across the toast, smelled the melting butter and the sweetness of the jam.Strawberry.Another deep breath and she felt a chill. The air cooled around her and the sweetness turned to a damp rotting. She heard the crunch of dead leaves beneath heavy boots, felt the branches scratch at her cheeks.Y/N startled herself, shaking violently as the feeling melted away.Sam was staring, concerned, her toast loosely held between two long fingers. “Are… you OK?”She laughed softly and shrugged. “Yeah. Yeah. I just- I had this nightmare last night and I guess I’m having trouble shaking it. You ever get that? Like the dream won’t go away?”He nodded. “Yeah. Those suck.”“Very much.”“What was it about?”She hesitated, shivering at the thought. “We- we were on a hunt and I guess things went south.”Dean’s voice echoed in her head. His scream made her breath stop.Sam’s hand on her shoulder made her jump and a bit of coffee sloshed over the lip of her mug, spilling down over her hand. She hissed at the heat and set the mug down.“Shit. Sorry.” Sam rushed for a towel and Y/N waved him off, wiping the mess on her shirt instead.“All good.”“You sure you’re OK?” he asked, brows furrowed, head bent low. “You seem spooked.”Y/N rubbed at her eyes and nodded. “I-”“Who’s spooked?” Dean asked, appearing in the doorway like a confident mirage.Y/N smiled at him. “No one.” She let her eyes drift down his body, enjoying the sight of him in the tight navy henley and baggy gray sweat pants. She lingered over his hips, suddenly feeling anything but spooked. “Sam’s making me breakfast,” she said, calling him over with a lustful gaze.“Is he?” He padded over the tiles with bare feet and slipped between her knees like it was the easiest thing in the world.“Mhm…” Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and gasped when his tongue slid against her bottom lip. He kissed her hard, breathing ideas into her as his hands gripped her thighs.Sam cleared his throat but neither acknowledged. He shifted away from them, taking two steps to the side and trying again, but his annoyance was ignored.“You two are gross. This is a common area,” he snit.Dean broke away from her lips and smirked. “I can’t help it,” he teased, “I’m hungry…”Sam’s eye roll was genuine and epic and he grabbed up his slice of toast and jar of jelly, prepared to storm off into a safer place.Before he turned, Dean’s hand shot out and grabbed his wrist in warning.“Sammy- leave the jam.”Sam gagged all the way to the library.~There wasn’t much actual work to do but there were always things that needed doing.Y/N busied herself with reorganizing a card file in the back of the library while Dean played on his phone. Sam was back and forth from the storage room with boxes of things that needed sorting and cataloging.It was peaceful if not slightly boring but they had their own rhythm to days like these. The silence was welcome and the tedium necessary after weeks of hunting. Eventually, Dean would get bored and fidgety and the day would devolve into beers and laughter. It was something they never realized out loud, but always looked forward to.In the corner, Y/N pulled open a file drawer and coughed as a puff of dust hit the air. She breathed it in before she could turn away and the must tickled her throat. She closed her eyes as the spasm shook her body and the dream struck her again. She felt her lungs seize and she clawed at the air, unable to take a breath, unable to push the pain away. Thick blood oozed into her mouth, pushing up from the depths of her throat and Y/N’s eyes bulged with panic.Dean’s voice knocked the feeling away and she gasped, sucking in a normal breath.“You OK? Y/N-”She turned, blinking into the light as his face became clear in her vision. The blood vanished from her mouth, the pain dissipated. She shuddered and rubbed her neck, feeling the airways open fully again. “Yeah. Sorry.” She cleared her throat. “Lots of dust over here.”Concerned, Sam pushed back from his spot at the table. “Come take a break.”Y/N waved him off. “I’m good.”Dean’s chair screeched as he tipped back on two legs to look at her. “Get over here. You look pale as shit.”“Shit’s not pale, Dean…”He pursed his lips in annoyance and cocked a brow. “Sit.” Righting his own seat, he kicked out the chair next to him and nodded at it. “Now.”Y/N relented with an exaggerated huff and plopped down in the offered seat. “Happy?”“Your lips are blue…”Dean leaned over, green eyes shrinking as he squinted at her. Carefully inspecting her well-being, he lifted his right hand to her cheek and Y/N felt her insides sink as the dream crashed over her again.She saw it laid over reality; Dean’s sweaty, mud speckled face merging with the clean one. A tear dripped down his cheek and Y/N felt the heat of his hand, the cold breeze, the hard ground cradling her limp body. The bones in her chest ached and she slumped down, frozen and dying, staring into his impossibly green eyes.“Y/N?”His fingers pressed into the soft hollow of her cheek and she felt the heavy gush of blood as her heart pumped it out into the open air.“Y/N!”Both hands on her shoulders, Dean shook her hard and Y/N pulled in a harsh breath, clearing her head.“Hey!” Dean pushed in close, his nose almost touching hers as he stared into her eyes, waiting for the focus to come back. “You with me? Y/N-”Shaking, she pushed him back a pace and sat up straight. “Yeah. I’m fine. Fuck.”Frowning, Dean looked to Sam who shrugged and leaned in across the table.“What just happened?” he asked, speaking calmly, a detective on the case.Y/N sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know. I just got all… I don’t know, OK? The dream keeps sneaking up on me.”Dean dipped his chin, glaring in confusion. “The dream?”“Yeah.” She shook her head as if everything were fine and the boys were being more annoying than anything else. “I had a dream last night and it’s… lingering.”“The nightmare that woke you last night?”She turned to Dean and nodded slowly. “Yeah. But it’s no big deal. Just a dream.”Sam sucked his teeth and her eyes shot towards him.“What?”“I don’t think it’s just a dream,” he said gently. “You were kinda out of it just now.”She sighed heavily. “It’s fine. Really.”Neither Winchester was buying it. She looked between them frantically before settling on Dean.“I’m fine.”Dean pulled his bottom lip in between his front teeth and bit down, mulling over the event and her insistence on being fine. “Fine. If you’re fine…”“I am,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “It was just a dream."

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If it was just a dream, it was unlike any dream Y/N had ever had before. Throughout the rest of the day, it attacked her at odd moments, forever sneaking up on her when she least expected it.Walking the halls, she could hear the forest beneath her feet; the polished tiled floors becoming more like dense, damp earth as she turned each corner.While cooking dinner, she felt the tug of the dream and she swayed on her feet over the stove, captivated by the feeling of Dean’s warm hand on her face.She struggled in the shower to stay awake, teetering the edge of slipping back into the nightmare. She smelled the leaves that made her deathbed, tasted the metallic sting of fate on her tongue.It followed her to bed, a creeping shadow over her shoulder, looming, waiting, stalking her with every breath she took.Y/N sat on the foot of the bed, legs hanging, eyes blank and staring into nothingness.“Doing OK over there?” Dean asked. He was fresh from the shower, a towel slung conveniently too low on his thick hips; water still sparkling on his smooth chest and big arms.Y/N looked up and breathed deeply, pulling in the spicey scent of his body wash. She hooked her top teeth into her bottom lip and hummed, suddenly distracted in a good way.“I am…”She reached for him and he kicked the door shut with one foot, not bothering to turn the lock.“Good. Because I’m not doing so great,” he said with a sigh.Y/N pouted playfully. “Oh no! What’s wrong, baby?”His hand slid into hers and their fingers laced tightly together.Dean frowned pathetically. “I’m just so… needy…”His green eyes twinkled with motive and Y/N licked her lips, hiding a blushing smile.“Needy, huh?” She tugged on his hand and he took a step closer, knees knocking into hers as his body slotted against her. “Does my boy need some loving tonight?”Dean licked his lips slowly and hunched over, nudging at her nose with his. He reached for her mouth with his plump lips and whispered, “I do.”Y/N cradled the back of his head with her free hand, pushing her fingers through the soft, wet hair at the base of his skull. “You’ve come to the right place…”He tugged at her lips, licked deep into her hot mouth. Y/N hummed against him and let her hand slide down his shoulder, firmly massaging the meaty flesh. Dean let go of her hand to cup her face, holding her steady in his big hands. He tipped his head to the side, kissing her with increasing strength while she undid the twisted towel at his hips.He hissed at the cold when the cotton fell to his feet, exhaled a quick moan as her palm rubbed against his shaft. Y/N broke away from his hold and lay a kiss on his chest. She looked up with wide, innocent eyes as he straightened up, every inch of him stiffening under her touch.“Feeling any better?” she asked, chewing on the corner of her lip. She curled her fingers around his cock and watched as his eyes fluttered shut.“So much,” he groaned, unconsciously thrusting his hips towards her hand.“Good.”Y/N kissed her way down his body as she slid off of the bed. She landed on her knees and heard the crunch of leaves. Her head swam with the dreamlike feeling, but she focused on Dean, on the long line of him, the firm but smooth flesh, the damp nest of hair between his legs.His hand dropped lightly to the top of her head and Dean pushed the hair from her eyes, lovingly petting her as she stroked him slowly.“Fuck, so good baby,” he hummed, matching her rhythm with his own. They met in the middle each time and his breath became heavy, his voice deep. “Y/N…”His voice echoed in her head, thick with tears as he gathered her limp body into his arms.“Y/N…”Her tongue darted out to tease the head of his cock and she tasted the copper in the back of her throat.Dean’s fingers tangled in her hair, tugging the strands up into his fist and guiding her mouth down further on his dick. She choked on him, feeling her mouth flood with blood. She coughed hard and gagged, strangled by the impeding wave.She struggled against the dream but it won over and she let out a cry, her lungs seizing with the phantom blood.Dean pulled away immediately and looked down, finding her eyes wide with fear, her mouth frozen open, gagging at nothing.“Y/N? Hey!” He fell to his knees, meeting her eyeline. “Hey, look at me! Y/N!”His hot hand on her cheek made her jump and she gasped, sucking in a hefty breath of air and blinking quickly to clear the dream.“Dean. Fuck…”He rubbed at her cheek with his thumb, searched her eyes for an answer. “What the fuck is going on? Are you OK?”She nodded quickly and pulled away, shivering. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just can’t shake this dream off.”He fell back onto his heels and shook his head. “This isn’t normal. You wanna talk about it?”And say what, she thought - that I’m a scared little girl who can’t handle a simple nightmare? No.Y/N took a calming breath and smiled. “I’m fine. I just…” She looked back at the bed, the waiting pillows, the warm blanket. “Hold me for a bit?”Dean smiled softly. “Of course.”Together, they crawled into bed and Dean fit himself around her back, curling his long body against hers. He was warm and heavy, comforting. She willed herself to relax, to ignore the insanity that prickled around the edges of her body, to rest in his arms.Dean kissed her cheek, her ear, her shoulder, reassuring her and lulling her to sleep.“I’ve got you,” he whispered. “Always…”Scenes from the farmhouse played in her mind’s eye. Dean mowing the lawn in a too tight white tee and jeans that hung down too low. The smell of a fresh apple pie cooling on the windowsill, the gleam of the white tiled backsplash catching the autumn sunshine.“Always.”

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“Dean, this feels wrong.”

Her whisper barely made it across the space between them, but Dean heard her, his green eyes squinting at the broken down barn. He shifted his weight and raised his gun, arms straight and steady, head clear and focused.

“It’ll be fine. Go around the side,” he shot back, cocking his head to the left. “I’ll meet you around back.”

A shiver traveled down Y/N’s spine, but she held strong. Heels planted in the soft earth, she cocked her pistol and held it tight. She nodded in agreement and took a breath, pushing off of the ground and breaking into sprint that took her around the corner and out of his sight.

Y/N’s heart was racing and the hairs at the back of her neck stood on end. She took each step with caution, boots crunching leaves as she went. A cool breeze floated across her cheeks and she pulled in a quick breath.

The barn was a decade out of repair; faded red paint had been chipped away over the years, boards were broken and missing, the window glass long ago blown out. The side door was ajar, and the hinges squeaked loudly as the wind pushed it back and forth with ease.

The wind whistled through the cracks in the wood and Y/N peeked inside. Rays of fading sunlight poked through the decrepit structure and lit the hay strewn room well enough for her to see. A dark figure stood over Sam, his back to the door, his shoulders hunched, body tense. Sam’s head hung low, chin tucked against his chest. He was out cold, his face streaked with multiple streams of blood. Dark crimsons and bright reds coated his face and a black bruise painted his right eye socket.

The figure reached for Sam and Y/N’s eyes grew wide. A surge of nervous energy struck her gut and she clenched her jaw, reaching with her left hand to push the door open.

She held her breath and rushed inside, gun on the ready.

“Hey, asshole!”

Her voice rang through the barn and the dark figure turned slowly, a shining blade in his fist.

Y/N recongised his face, that same cruel, scarred smile that had so startled her early in the week. They’d been wrong; hunting the wrong beast, ignoring the facts.

“Told you to all to mind your business,” he said, ducking his head and taking a step towards her. “This is what happens when you don’t listen.” Blood on the blade dripped onto the floor.

Sam’s blood.

“Yeah, well, we go where the action is,” she snit. “Apparently, it’s here.” Her hands shook as he came near. She took aim, targeting his wrinkled forehead. “Stay back.”

He took another step and Sam stirred, sucking in a gasping breath and blinking blood from his eyes.

His voice was raspy, his jaw sore and cracked. “Y/N! Shoot!”

She pulled the trigger without another thought and the figure fell, bones collapsing into a heap of ragged clothes and blood-splattered hay.

She relaxed, shoulders dropping, gun resting at her side. She let out a sigh and went to Sam, ready to untie him.

“You OK?”

His eyes went huge as he looked back over her shoulder. His body stiffened. His jaw dropped.

“Y/N- run.”
Shoved back into reality, she woke with a scream. Cold sweat covered her body; her side of the blanket kicked away, pillow twisted between her knees.Dean shot up in an instant, automatically reaching the the gun on his nightstand. Blinking, he reached for her, his big hand fitting into the space between her shoulders.“What happened!” His voice was thick with sleep, scratchy and dry.Y/N clamped a hand down over her mouth and panted. Every muscle was tight and on edge, seething with adrenaline and dread. She closed her eyes, desperate to shove away the image of the barn, of Sam tied up and beaten, of the shotgun that pressed into her spine.“Talk to me, Y/N/N.”Her body trembled. Her heart pounded against her chest.“Y/N!”She turned to look at him, her fingers reaching to grab up the collar of his shirt and hold him close. “I’m OK,” she said quickly, to herself and to him. “I’m OK. Just a nightmare.”Dean relaxed a bit and set the gun back down on the table. “Fuck, baby… You scared me to death.”Still shaking, she twisted around and fit herself against his chest, curling into him, desperate for a sense of safety and warmth.“I’m sorry…”He wrapped his arms around her tight and kissed her hair. “You don’t have to be sorry,” he whispered. “Just breathe.”“I can’t… this… the dream won’t stop.” She clawed at his shirt, let her tears fall into the cotton.“Is it the same one as last night?”She shook her head against him. “I don’t think so. This one- Sam was- I… I can’t.”Dean closed his eyes and rocked her to him, pulling her down into the bed. “It’s OK, baby. It’s just a dream. We all get them.”“These are so real, Dean… I feel like- I don’t know. It’s just so intense.”He rubbed her back, kissed her forehead, breathed warmth back into her shivering soul. “It’s OK… I’ve got you.”She tried to conjure up the kitchen, the cozy farmhouse that sat surrounded by sunshine, but the walls were dark, the grass yellowed and dying.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Y/N hid her face from the bright kitchen lights beneath the canopy of her hoodie. She sat curled in on herself at the table, elbows mashed into the old wooden top, shoulders tight and high. Her hands were balled up and hidden inside the long, warm sleeves, her knuckles smushed into her cheeks.A cooling mug of coffee stared at her but she ignored it, trying to piece together her dreams while straining to keep the full memory of them at bay.Sam whistled as he entered, shocked to find her already awake and the coffee pot full.“Morning.”Y/N stirred and looked up with a faint smile. “Howdy.”“Rough night?” he asked, grabbing a mug.She shrugged. “I guess.”Steam rose to greet him and Sam took a quick sip before rounding the table to sit across from her. He settled in and frowned at her sweatshirt.“You stole my hoodie again, I see.”Y/N laughed awkwardly, caught red-handed. “What? No. This is mine.” Quickly, she folded her arms across the chest to hide the giant Stanford logo.Sam pursed his lips and shook his head. “Just don’t get anything on it.”Y/N grinned. “I promise.”“I don’t know why you like that so much. It’s old and thin and-”“Feels like you.”He startled and a blush flooded his cheeks.“I don’t know,” she said, sighing as a confession ran free. “I had another nightmare last night and I… wanted to be close to you, I guess.”Sam held her gaze and sighed. “I’m sorry. Keep it as long as you need.”“Thanks.”They sat for a long moment, hands wrapped around coffee mugs, eyes not daring to meet again.Sam cleared his throat after counting to thirty in his head. “Do you want to talk about it? You seem really out of it the last few days.”“Nah.” She took a sip of cold coffee and grimaced. “Maybe. I don’t know. I feel stupid. They’re just dreams.”When she looked up again, his face was caked with blood. It dripped from a gasp at his hairline, poured from his nose, his ear. She gasped and looked away, beating the image out of her mind.“No reason to feel stupid,” Sam assured her. “Besides, if anyone knows about disturbing dreams…” He paused and waved at himself, making her laugh gently.“Yeah.”“So, go on.”The coffee was bitter and smelled like rotting wood. She held her breath and felt the hay shift beneath her feet, saw the dust particles dancing in the streaks of light inside the barn, heard the crack of bones.“Y/N?”Shaking herself, she focused on the cuff of her sleeve. It was thinning around the bottom and stretched out; the elastic was old and spent. She took a breath and chewed her lip.“What did it feel like?” she asked, suddenly breaking the silence.Sam sat up. “What did what feel like?”“Well… You told me you used to have visions. Like, psychic visions. What did they feel like?”He shifted, uncomfortable. “I don’t know, Y/N. That was over ten years ago…”“Yes, but you have to remember something.” She pushed her coffee aside and set her palms down on the table, grounding herself. “These dreams feel so real, Sam. They’re not just regular, run of the mill nightmares. I’m not being chased by clowns or stuffed into a magician’s trunk… They’re real and scary and I wake up terrified.”His brows raised and a smirk lit his pink lips. “Magician’s trunk?”“Clowns?” She countered, shutting him up. He nodded for her to continue and she did. “They’re bloody and so intense, and they won’t go away when I wake up. I can feel them sneaking up on me like some kinda ghost in a haunted house. You know when you can feel a ghost coming on? That’s what it feels like. And then I see things… I can smell them, hear them… They’re all around me.”Sam took a deep breath and sat back. He ran a hand through his hair and tucked it back behind his ear, thinking.Y/N was impatient. “So?”He shrugged. “Sometimes, dreams can linger in our subconscious. You do have a very hyperactive imagination. Maybe-”“I’m not imagining things, Sam. I’m like…” She shook her hands in the air, unable to find the words. “Inside it. Emersed in the dream. It’s unsettling.”He raised a palm, begging for patience. “I get it, I do.”“Do you? I can feel blood in my mouth, Sam. I can taste it.”A black bruise began to blossom beneath his eye and she cringed, looking quickly away lest the feeling take over.“Look, when I had my visions, they… they were like that. Very intense, very real. But they stopped right away. Nothing lingered, nothing snuck up on me. But they were very strong, clear visions. They hurt. I felt every second of them pounding through my skull.”Y/N huffed and hid her hands in her sleeves again, closing herself off. “Well, maybe I’m having something like that.”Sam shook his head. “It’s unlikely. Mine stopped as soon as we killed the demon, and… well, you’re not-”“Not special?”“No, I don’t mean that. I mean-”“I don’t have special demon blood powers?”“Yes.”“How do you know! Maybe I’m one of the special kids too. There were others, you said. Maybe-”Again, Sam shook his head and held up a hand, calming her down. “Y/N, it’s very unlikely. I think you’re just stressed and your subconscious is leaking into daily life. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”She looked up from beneath the awning of her hood and felt her stomach flip. The blood was back, dripping from cuts along his face and neck; his teeth were stained with it, his shirt torn and filthy.“Yeah,” she said softly, giving up. “You’re probably right. Just stress.”She pushed up from the table and turned away, one foot on the bottom step before he tried again.“Really, I wouldn’t worry too much, Y/N.”She looked back over her shoulder and tried not to cry as the gash in his throat opened up again.“Yeah,” she said, breathing away the bloody vision. “Thanks.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

She tried to keep her hands busy, to keep her mind focused on random tasks throughout the day, hoping to stave off the dreams.Every dirty sock hiding in Dean’s room had been collected and cleaned, paired and put away. Every tee shirt folded, every flannel hung.She shined the brass faucets in the bathroom, dusted the tops of the bookshelves, put a box of Sam’s used notepads in the storage room.If she was moving, she was fine. When she stopped to take a breath, the dream returned, creeping like a dense fog into the corners of her mind, slowly taking over.How many times did she have to see Sam nearly bleed out? How many ways could the blood seep into the back of her throat? She was exhausted, panicked and alone.Maybe Sam was right. Stress was a killer, they said.Still, it felt wrong. The dreams were too real. They were a warning, a sick sneak peek at some future she couldn’t quite get away from.It was a horrible thought, but the only one she had.Body aching and stiff, she took a break, settling down into one of the heavily upholstered reading chairs in the corner of the Library. She often sat there late at night when she couldn’t sleep, curling up with one of the thousand books on the shelves surrounding the little nook.Still wrapped in Sam’s old hoodie, she allowed herself a second to relax into the warmth of it. It smelled like the ancient dresser in his room- cedar and dust. It was cozy and she closed her eyes a moment too long.In the darkness she felt the chill of the woods, heard the creak of the old barn door. Something tugged at the base of her stomach from the inside and Y/N felt herself sinking, being dragged back into the dream. She tried to fight, to open her eyes and move, but everything was frozen. Her arms were too heavy, seemingly glued to the arms of the chair; her legs were like stalagmites growing up from the floor. 
Screams echoed through the woods; her own voice bouncing back to slap her in the face with every crushing breath she took. Her lungs were straining, thighs burning as she pounded the earth, rushing away from the ramshackle barn.

Out of breath, she hid behind a tree, back against the scraping bark, eyes darting about the forest. She swallowed hard, pushing down the fear, trying to find the last dregs of courage stuffed deep inside.

“Y/N!”

Dean’s called out to her and she turned, right hand digging into the tree trunk as she peered around it.

He wasn’t far behind, racing towards her with his pistol drawn.

“Y/N!”

Her heart was beating so fast she couldn’t get her voice to work. She opened her lips but only a strangled breath came out.

Behind him, the second cloaked figure appeared.

Oblivious, Dean raced on.

Her eyes went wide as the monster approached, not a twig breaking beneath it’s step. It was Silent Death on its way.

Y/N pushed herself to move, shoving herself off of the tree and stepping into the dying light.

Dean sighed in relief as he saw her and stopped mid-step. He lowered his gun and shook his head.

“Where the hell have you-”

The monster’s claws swept through the air like an eagle’s wing and Dean went down, blood spurting from his lips in a terrifying spray.

Green eyes went wide and Y/N watched the color drain from his face.
“Dean!”Firm hands grabbed at her upper arms, holding her steady as she tried to leap up from the chair.She could hear his voice but it was far away, lost in the wretched dream fog that clouded her head. She thrashed at his hold, twisting her shoulders to free herself, but Dean held tight.“Y/N! It’s OK. Hey! Open your eyes!”She sucked in a deep breath and blinked, finding comforting green staring back at her.“Hey! You’re OK…”Tears sprang to her eyes and Y/N lunged for him, dragging her arm around his shoulders and tugging him close. She buried herself in his chest, clawed at the nape of his neck, desperate to feel something real.“Baby, talk to me,” he whispered, rubbing her back.“You died,” she choked, tears seeping into his shirt, drenching the gray cotton with dark circles of pain.Dean laughed gently under his breath and tightened his grip around her. “Not for a while now.”She didn’t enjoy his joke, pushing back and shoving at his chest. “Not funny.”“But true.” He gave a sad smile but she wouldn’t look at him.Y/N turned her face, batting at her cheeks with the long hoodie sleeves.“Y/N… It’s OK. Really. I’m right here.”“It’s not OK! Why do you guys keep telling me that it’s OK! When is something like this ever OK!”Shocked, Dean leaned back and away, but kept his hands on her, gently grounding her.“I’m having dreams, Dean,” she went on, softening her voice and trying to decrease the anxious volume. “Horrible, real, intense dreams that will not leave me alone. I can barely close my eyes without seeing things.”The lines in his forehead deepened, his voice dropped. “Are you hallucinating?”She shook her head. “No. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s not like that.”“Y/N, maybe we should… get you some help.”Offended, she pushed him off and stood up. “So wait a second… We spend our time running around killing monsters… we hang out with an actual fucking angel… all the things we’ve done and seen and dealt with and the one time I have an issue- you just assume I’m mentally ill?”Dean stood up quickly. “What? No… I didn’t say that-”“You implied it. So did Sam. I went to him for help and he suggested that I’m stressed. Yeah. Maybe I’ll just go to the spa and everything will sort itself out. That’s a plan!”“OK, enough!”Dean’s shout made her pause. She spun on her heel to face him and found him closer than she thought. She gasped as his hands shot out to cradle her cheeks, held her breath as he leaned in to kiss her.“Just relax,” he breathed, gently brushing his lips against hers. “I’ve got you… Always.”“Dean-”“Shhh…”He licked at her lips and Y/N opened for him, breathing in the warmth of him, the delicious musky scent. His fingers tensed on her cheeks and Y/N melted, relaxing, forgetting the dream for a moment. She palmed her way down his chest, tucked her fingers into the belt loops of his jeans, rocked her hips into his.His left hand slid around to grip the back of her neck and Y/N felt her spine loosen. She went limp against him, lost in the arousal, hungry for more. Dean pushed against her lips and dropped his right hand to her chest, kneading her breast until a faint moan sounded between them.“Dean…”“I’ve got you,” he said again, dropping his fingers down to sneak up underneath her shirt. His hand burned hot on her stomach and Y/N whined pathetically.She closed her eyes and the scent of rotting leaves hit her brain. She shivered and watched Dean fall to his knees, blood leaking from the corners of his plump mouth. He reached for her with a shaking hand unable to call out her name around the waves of blood pushing from his lips.Y/N startled and let go of his belt, pushing back an inch.“Wait. You- you can’t distract me with sex, Dean.”“I don’t know,” he said, smirking against her throat and licking at her pulse. “I think I’m doing just fine…”“I watched you die.” The hurt settled in her gut and wove its way up until her throat threatened to close. “Dean, I’m… I’m scared.”He straightened up, tall and handsome looming over her. Green eyes sparkled with concern and he hugged her close, crushing her face in his chest.“We’ll figure it out, OK? I promise.”She sighed, wishing it was true. “Yeah… OK…”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Y/N snuck out of bed once she was sure Dean was asleep. He’d done his damnedest to tire her out, to push away every thought from her head with his expert fingers and tongue, but she wasn’t so easily calmed. Even as she’d ridden him deep into the mattress, flashes of blood eeked in the corners of her mind and she’d taken to faking her way to the end, praying that he didn’t notice.Guilt bubbled in her gut as she slipped the Impala keys from his jacket, but something had to be done. There was something going on, something real, something wrong, and no one was listening to her.She drove fast, windows down, foot pressed to the floor.The engine roared and she took a deep breath of old leather and oil, loving the feel of the worn wheel beneath her fingers. She could press her hand into the indents Dean had made over the years and feel him there, imagine him smiling at her from the passenger seat.He’d kill her when he realized she’d gone.If she was lucky though, she’d be back before he noticed.She wasn’t going far. Rowena was waiting impatiently, one tiny foot tapping beneath her sparkling sapphire gown. She crossed her arms over her chest, scowling at the door as Y/N finally showed up.“And what sort of time do you call this?” she asked, venom on her tongue.Y/N cringed and offered an apologetic smile. “I… I had to sneak out. Took a little longer than I thought it would. Sorry.”Rowena pursed her ruby lips and sighed. “Sneak out? I thought for sure that strapping lad of yours would be joining us.”Y/N stammered, guilt snaring her tongue a bit. “I- uh… He… Dean doesn’t know I’m here. I kinda stole the car.”Perfectly smokey eyes lifted with a smile. “Oh, you’re gonna get it when he finds out.”“We do this fast enough and he won’t find out.”Rowena huffed and waved off the comment. “Alright. Let’s get to it then…”The hotel room was fancier than Y/N had seen in ages, with a clean carpet and a bedskirt, pillows that looked like there was life left in them and art that you could stand to look at. The air was clean and lacked the distinct musty smell that Y/N had grown accustomed to on roadtrips.Rowena had set already set up the room; moving the large writing desk out away from the wall and erecting her altar upon it. Candles were let, the cloth was set; all that was needed were a few magic words.Y/N approached the altar with butterflies in her stomach. Rowena gestured for her to stand across the way and she did, stopping an inch away.“Is it going to hurt?” she asked, cringing at the brass bowl of witchy goodies in the center of the desk.Rowena licked her lips flirtatiously. “Not unless you want it to.”“Um…”The witch laughed. “Relax, sweetie. We’re just going to take a look at you, that’s all.”“OK.”Rowena let out a deep breath and settled, her posture straightening like a ballerina’s. Her hands hovered over the bowl and she whispered a spell into the silent room, her lips moving too fast for Y/N to read.“Give me your hand, dear,” she said, reaching for Y/N.Nervously, Y/N reached in, laying her open palm against Rowena’s. The witch’s skin was cold and a jolt of vibrating power pulsed through their touch. Y/N’s arm jerked, but Rowena grabbed hold, her slender fingers wrapping around Y/N’s wrist. She held on tight and Y/N felt the magic flow into her veins, creeping upwards and spreading out like ink seeping into parchment.It felt familiar if not a little painful and Y/N’s vision began to blur. She felt the dream tugging on her limbs and shivered with the memory of the chilly forest air. Her eyes rolled as her body weakened, but Rowena held on, digging her manicured nails into Y/N’s skin.“Verum mihi revela!”Heat raged through Y/N’s blood, slithering into every cell, pulsing and prodding until a scream pushed out of her, echoing off of the cream colored walls.The walls began to shake and the ceiling cracked above her head, showering the room in shards of painted plaster. The floor quaked and Y/N jerked her arm from Rowena’s grasp. She stumbled as the room trembled and collapsed, falling face first onto a bed of dead leaves.The smell overtook her; the damp earth yielded for her hands and knees as she pushed herself upwards. The trees sprang up, covering the evening sky.She twisted around and grabbed a nearby boulder, struggling to find her footing over the forest bed. Panicked and aching, she managed to stand and spun on her heels, finding herself in the dream world once more.In the distance he called to her, screaming her name as the gun shot rang out.She turned, too late, and felt the buckshot slam into her chest.“Y/N!”She crumbled on the spot as if her legs had vanished. Pain webbed through her body and she sucked in a strangled breath.“Y/N!”Dean’s hand landed on her shoulder and she looked up to find comforting green.“Dean, I- I’m so sorry…”Blood leaked onto her tongue and Y/N’s frame began to tremble.“Y/N!”His voice sounded odd. She looked up, squinting through the tears and gasped as a tight slap stung her cheek.Rowena smacked her once more and Y/N woke, scrambling back and away from the petite witch.“Holy shit! What the fuck!” She panted, confused and hurting. From the carpet, she looked up, searching for an answer. “Rowena!”“Aye, calm down.”The witch helped her to stand and Y/N perched at the foot of the bed, catching her breath.“Well, what is it?” she asked, still shaking with the dream hold.Rowena shook her head slowly. “I don’t know. You’re not possessed, I see no curses around you, there are no spells at work…” She trailed off, unwilling to continue. She looked at Y/N with narrowed, hard eyes.“And?”Again, she shook her head. “I saw nothing that could help you, child.”Y/N’s heart sank. “So what do I do? This has to stop!”“I don’t know.”“How can you not know! You didn’t see anything? How is there nothing wrong!”Rowena held up a hand and Y/N stilled.“Oh, there is something wrong, but it’s nothing that I can fix.”Y/N clenched her jaw and shuddered. “Tell me what you saw.”Sadness flooded Rowena’s pale face and she sighed. “All I know is, this is something I cannot touch or help with. There are things happening that cannot be fixed in this place, and all I can tell you is… Something big is coming. Coming for you.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Dean… just calm down.”His jaw twitched, teeth clenched as anger and helpless concern mixed in his system.“Calm down! You stole my car, Y/N.”She sighed and looked up from her spot at the table, the spot he’d pushed her into when she’d reappeared moments before. She tried to stay calm, but his fiery rage was more than a little bit scary.“You really mad that I took the Impala? It’s just a car, Dean.”His eye bulged for a quick second before he forced himself to calm. “No. Well, yes. I am pissed you took my car, but-” He rubbed a hand down his face, scratched at the shadow on his jaw. “I was worried,” he said, almost in a whisper, “about you. You snuck off again and didn’t even bother to tell me that you were OK.”Guilt swirled in her stomach again and Y/N closed her eyes for a second, hoping to find some relief.“I’m sorry.”He seethed. “Sorry? You’re sorry. That’s it? I was going out of my mind worried about you and you’re sorry. That’s just perfect.” His ears were red, cheeks on fire with passion. The vein in his forehead pulsed and Y/N smiled. “What’s funny here, Y/N?”She chewed her lip and shrugged. “I think you love me, is all.”He startled. “What?”“You’re so worked up, it’s like you’re in love with me or something.”Dean pulled in a deep breath and broke, a smile passing over his plump lips. “Yeah, well…”He bowed his head and tried to turn away, to hide his face from her, but she reached for him instead. Her fingers slid into his and he squeezed tight.“I promise not to run off again,” she whispered. “Not without you anyway.”He looked back and rolled his eyes playfully before dipping down to kiss her hand. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but we’re gonna figure it out, OK? Just gotta trust me.”Her heart swelled and she stood up, pulling him close and pressing up on her tip toes. “I do, Dean. I really do.”Every ounce of anger melted from his bones as Y/N pushed her lips against his. He hummed gently and licked into her mouth, pulling her impossibly close as his arms wrapped around her back.“I do,” he breathed, lashes fanning her cheeks like butterfly wings.“What?”“Love you.”She breathed him in, smiling against his parted lips. Their tongues crashed together and she tasted blood. Her shoulders jerked, body tensed against him as the phantom wave washed over her lips and down her throat. She gagged and Dean pulled back, eyes narrowing as he looked down.“Are you alright?”She gasped and shook herself, forcing the memory to fade. “All good,” she lied, heart pounding in her chest. Her knees went weak but Dean caught her, holding her steady, keeping her safe.Boots hit the tile behind them as Sam bounded into the room, his laptop perched precariously on one hand.“Hey, so get this-” He paused, looking up to see Y/N and Dean intertwined in the middle of the Library. “Oh. You’re back.”Y/N pushed away from Dean and gave Sam a tiny smile. “I am.”He nodded and set the computer down on the table. “Where did you go?”She chewed her lip and looked between the brothers, knowing that she couldn’t get out of the room without confessing.“I… went to see Rowena.”Dean flinched. “What?”“You know Rowena. Short, feisty, dresses like every day is an Oscar party.”Dimples popped above his lip.Y/N cleared her throat. “You two were… not listening to me, so I went to someone who would.”Stricken with guilt, Sam sank into the chair at the head of the table. “Yeah. I’m sorry about that-”“It’s all good,” Y/N insisted, shutting him down before the puppy-dog eyes could come out. “Really. I just… Something’s up and I wanted a… professional opinion.”Dean clicked his tongue and walked the floor behind Sam; his arms crossed, his eyes dark and worried. “A professional? Because Sam and I aren’t professional enough for you?”Annoyed, Y/N found her seat again. She scooted closer to the table and set her elbows on top. “Look- you guys weren’t paying attention and I wanted to know what was going on with me. That’s all. Rowena helped me with a spell and- ya know… it’s… it’s not personal, Dean.”“Sure,” he scoffed, turning away to regroup.Sam cleared his throat, ending the scuffle. “So… did you figure it out?” he asked.Y/N cocked her head to the side, shrugging noncommittally. “Well… not… exactly.”“What does that mean?”“It means we figured out nothing.” Y/N sighed. “She did some kind of revealing spell and checked for hexes and whatnot, but there was nothing. I mean, she did trigger quite a… giant vision, but… no. She had no answers either.”Dean growled. “Well that’s just great. You stole my car, ran off without telling anyone, stole my car- and all for nothing.”Y/N rolled her eyes. “You gotta let it go. The car’s fine. I even gassed her up.”“Premium?”“Obviously.”Dean settled. “Good.”Sam coughed gently. “Anyway…” Gathering their attention, he pulled the laptop closer and struck a few keys. “I had some ideas.”Y/N leaned back in her seat. “Hit me with it, big guy.”He looked up with a laugh and then zoned in on the screen. “If it’s not a curse, and we’re pretty sure you’re not suddenly psychic… I did find a few things that it could be.”“Like?”“Well- there is a hallucinogenic flower that grows on the left bank of the Nile River during full moons that will increase the likelihood of-”Dean plopped down onto the chair across from Y/N. “She ain’t been to Egypt in the last-”“Forever,” she finished for him, sighing heavily. “Next.”Sam sucked his teeth and scrolled down. “African Dream Root can-”Y/N huffed. “Nope.”“There’s a theory where in ghosts can-”“Pass.”Sam shoved the computer away and sat back, tossing his hands up in surrender. “Then I’ve got nothing.”The trio sat in silence for a moment. Nails were chewed upon, minds wandered.Y/N spoke up with a frown and a shrug. “Maybe I’m in a coma and the dream is the real world pushing through into the coma dream.”Dean looked over with uncertainty.Y/N scrunched her nose up as she thought. “Wait- I might have read that in a story somewhere…”“You’ve been reading that fanfiction crap again, haven’t you?” Dean shook his head and sighed. “You gotta lay off of it. It ain’t healthy.”“You’re not healthy.”Y/N stuck her tongue out and Dean wiggled his brows suggestively.Sam gagged.“Maybe a djinn?” she offered.The guys shook their heads negatively.“I think I’d know if I wasn’t real,” Dean laughed.Sam brushed a hand through his hair and tucked it back. “Not necessarily…”“We’re not not real, Sam.”The tall one shrugged. “If we weren’t we wouldn’t really know now, would we?”Dean cringed. “You’re making my head hurt.”Y/N sat up with a bolt of an idea. “What if- I’m dead. And this is… well, it’s not really Hell… Too much sex for it to be Hell but-”“This ain’t Hell, sweetheart, trust me,” Dean assured her.“So Heaven?” She sat forward, hopeful and yet not.Sam rocked forward and set his elbows on his knees. “Not likely.”“OK then- I give up!” Tossing her hands up, Y/N pushed her chair back and stood, spinning away from the table. “Give me something- anything-”Sam cleared his throat. “I just gave you three things that-”“Things that don’t suck, Sam.” Y/N rubbed at her eyes and felt the strangling tightness of tears beginning to bloom in her throat. “Just- if you had to guess. Gun to your head- what’s your gut telling you this is?”She turned back and Sam looked up with sad eyes.“Honestly?”She nodded. “Please…”He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Honestly, if we’ve eliminated all… supernatural possibilities… I think the logical answer is that you’re-”Y/N’s muscles tightened. “God help you if you say ‘stressed’.”Sam exhaled heavily. “It could be that. Look- we’ve all been under a ton of stress, well- forever- and sometimes, our subconscious deals with that by-”“Fucking with us?”He laughed sadly. “Yeah.”As she stared at him, thick blood began to ooze from his eyes and nose. She froze and looked away, closing her eyes to the horror of Sam bleeding out in front of her again.Sensing her distress, Dean clapped a hand on the table and stood up. “I think we all just need a really good night’s sleep.”Y/N huffed. “Dean- every time I go to sleep, I am slammed back into the nightmares. How is going to sleep going to help?”Grinning, he rounded the table and headed towards the bar cart.“Dean, getting drunk isn’t going to help me.”He held up a finger and bit his lip. “No, but getting blackout drunk might.”Y/N looked to Sam for help, the only grownup still in the room. He shrugged.“It might.”She sighed and gave in, taking the glass of whiskey when Dean handed it over.“Well, it’s not gonna hurt, right?”Dean smirked and raised his glass. “Here’s to gettin’ you fucked up.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The whiskey was good but the buzz was better. After four glasses, Y/N was floating, half out of her body, soaring above the room. She felt good, relaxed and silly. So much better than she’d felt in a long while.Dean kept her glass filled while regaling her and Sam with tales of his past glories, never seeming to remember that Sam had been with him most of the time and had more than once saved the day. The brothers quarreled loudly over who had their facts straight as Y/N watched on, a contented smile plastered on her face. She sank into her favorite reading chair, legs hung over one arm, head resting on the other, watching the boys. They were loose and happy as well, a rare sight nowadays.“You did not!” Sam laughed, head tipping back, drink sloshing in his hand. “I was right there!”Dean sat up, comically offended. “How dare you? I wiped out that nest all by myself. Fourteen vamps with one swing of my blade!”“One swing?” Sam’s laughter increased. “You sure about that?”“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re not as skilled as me with a blade, Sammy.”“Excuse me?”“You heard me.”Y/N drained her glass and waded through their rich voices, knowing she needed to speak up and change the subject lest a real fight break out. Throwing her leg off of the side of the chair, she rolled onto the floor and popped up onto her hands and knees. The room was spinning, but nicely, and she crawled over to sit between the boys.“Do I needs to separates you guys or you gone behaved?”The bickering ceased and Sam dipped his chin, gleaming down at her with a slick smile.“You OK, Y/N/N?”She grinned. “I’m so good, Samanuel. So good. Samuel? Sam.” She slapped his thigh and shoved her empty glass into Dean’s stomach. “More please.”He laughed and took the glass. “I think you’re done.”Y/N pouted and leaned over towards him, dropping her other hand onto his leg. “And I think you’re a hottie mcbody.” Her fingers curled into the inner seam of his jeans and his cheeks burst with pink.Dean cleared his throat and set her glass down on the end table next to him. He cupped her hand with his and moved it from his lap.“You’re very hot too, Y/N, but it’s time for bed.”Y/N shook her head too quickly and she swayed on her knees, dizzy. “I’m not ready for bed.”Carefully, Dean scooped her up; his big hand hooking underneath her arms and lifting gently. “Come on, drunkie.”She laughed and tucked her face into his shoulder. “You made me drunkie. You did this.”“I know.” He kissed her cheek sweetly and helped her to turn. “You needed it.”Unyielding, Y/N looked to Sam for help. “Don’t let him take me, Sammy. Please.”Hazel eyes were sympathetic but ultimately firm. “Go. Get some sleep.”Y/N groaned. “Oh, come on!” She took a step but tumbled, nearly falling into Sam’s lap.Dean grabbed her up, lifting her into his big arms and holding her close. She locked her arms around his neck and held on, blushing at the warmth and strength of his grasp.“My hero,” she cooed.“My drunken girl.”Safe in his arms, her vision began to blur, and Y/N let herself relax as Dean carried her down the hallway. She stared up at him through the haze and set herself a task of counting every freckle on his cheek, but lost count at twelve.“You look familiar,” she said, suddenly caught in a wave of deja vu. The world shimmered around them and Dean kicked his bedroom door open.He laughed. “I should hope so.”“No, I mean- you look like someone else.”“Who?”She bit her cheek, trying to remember, but nothing was coming to her whiskey soaked mind. “I don’t know.”The bed was soft and welcoming, cradling her bones as Dean laid her down. He tossed the blanket over her shoulders and brushed the hair back from her forehead.Y/N grabbed his hand before he could back away.“Dean?”“Yeah, Y/N?”“Don’t leave me, OK?”He smiled sadly. “Never.”“Even if I am going crazy?” she asked, blinking up at him.The lamplight shone on his perfect profile and Dean leaned in close, green eyes sparkling with worried tears.“Even if you go crazy,” he confirmed. “Even if you’re in a coma, or stuck in some fangirl’s weird story, or possessed by demons, or part of some government conspiracy to take over the world and nuke everyone. I’m not going anywhere.”Y/N smiled as the world darkened around her. “I love you, Dean Winchester.”He kissed her temple and sighed. “I got you,” he whispered. “Always.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The night was cold; the layers of cotton between Y/N and the air did little to protect her. Her exhale pushed out in a misty puff of air as the chill settled over her. Y/N shuddered and looked to Dean who nodded.

“Ghost?” she mouthed, confused.

He shrugged but looked off into the distance, green eyes narrowed, body on alert.

Annoyed that he’d looked away, she kicked at the dirt between them, digging the tip of her boot into the ground. “I thought this was a wolf,” she hissed.

Again, Dean shrugged. “I don’t know,” he whispered back. “Maybe we fucked up.”

Y/N leaned back, offended. “We?”

“Fine,” he huffed. “Me. I fucked up.”

A smile broke out across her face and Y/N laughed quietly. “I was just gonna blame it on your brother, but OK there, boss.”

Back to it, they stalked their way around the old building, silver bullets on the ready, though now possibly useless. Y/N followed behind him, keeping an eye out as Dean checked the back door. Finding it unlocked, he slipped inside and Y/N closed it gently behind her.

The farmhouse kitchen was flooded with candles. Every surface was covered in wax and flame, illuminating the faded buttery yellow walls and rotting wood cabinets.

Curious, Y/N pushed ahead and found a brass bowl filled with blood and bone on the counter by the sink. She started down at it for a moment before tossing a look over her shoulder at Dean.

“Witches?” he asked, right eyebrow raised up high.

Y/N chewed her lip and took a suspicious look around. Hex bag paraphernalia and animal parts were heaped over the counters in messy piles, and the air smelled of sage and cinnamon.

“What the fuck, dude?” she sighed, spinning to look at Dean.

“I don’t know.”

“But really, what the fuck?”

He grit his teeth. “I don’t know.” Nodding towards the door, he urged her to follow. “Come on.”

The door swung outwards and Dean stepped through. It swung back into place before Y/N could get to it, cutting the hunters off from each other for a brief moment.

A strange yellow powder on the ridge of the door gave her pause and Y/N ran her fingers through it.

“Sulfer… Seriously, what the hell is going on here?”

Out of sight, Dean called out to her, his voice tight and laced with panic.

“Y/N!”

“Dean! They’re demons!”

Crashing through the portal, Y/N yelled for him, but his reply was muted. A black gloved hand was clamped down tight over his lips, a dark figure holding him tight.

Black eyes flashed as she ran inside the livingroom and Y/N gasped at the scene. Blood and flayed skin trailed over the dull hardwood floor. She slipped through a puddle of muck and spread her arms wide to steady herself.

The fiend holding Dean laughed. “You’re too late.”

Y/N’s gaze lifted from the floor to the coffee table in the middle of the room. Next to the fireplace lay Sam’s eviscerated corpse. The flames reflected in his empty, staring eyes and gleamed off the fresh blood that dripped from the cavern of his ruptured chest.

Bile filled her throat but Y/N choked it back down, refusing to lose focus. She lifted her pistol and took aim. Even if she couldn’t kill the demon, she could knock him back and set Dean free.

Green eyes were wide and sad, wet with pained tears.

“I got you, Dean,” Y/N said, cocking the gun.

The demon laughed once more and with a flick of his wrists, snapped Dean’s neck. The hunter crumbled like a stringless puppet, his body just another puddle on the ruined floor.

Y/N screamed.

Laughter rang through her head and invisible hands slammed into her, sending her flying back against the wall. The air left her lungs, her bones cracked, her vision blurred.

“Your turn…”
The pillow beside her was empty, the blanket undone. The sheets were cold and Dean’s robe was missing.Y/N rushed down the hallway, tears streaking her cheeks. She could smell the wax and the blood, feel the heat from the fireplace. The tiles creaked like wood beneath her bare feet as she ran and dread pushed into every cell of her being.Sam’s bedroom was empty, his bed neatly made, pillow still dented from his head.Her heart was thudding like a jackhammer in her chest as she skidded into the War Room, finding the boys safe and alive, seated across from each other at the big map. The table glowed beneath them, casting strange shadows onto their faces and Y/N nearly collapsed as she ran down the short stack of stairs.“Y/N?”Dean raced to her side, gathering her up into his warm arms.She clawed at the lapels of his bathrobe and hid her face in his chest. “You’re alive,” she sobbed.He wrapped his arms around her and sighed, looking over at his brother. “I am. Of course I am.”Cautiously, Sam appeared at her side and Y/N lunged at him, hands scraping down his chest to make sure everything was in place.“You’re OK?” She looked up at him with fearful eyes and held her breath until he answered.“I’m good.” He set his hands on her upper arms and dipped his chin to meet her eyeline. “Are you?”“Demons,” she said, lips trembling. “And witches, ghosts, I don’t know. They were things- monsters everywhere. Your blood- I slipped in it. You were dead. You died.”Sam’s fingers tightened around her. “Hey. Breathe.” He took a deep breath and urged her to do the same. “In… and out… there you go.”Y/N gasped, struggling to steady her breathing and copy Sam, but the tremors were fierce and she could see the blood bubbling at the corners of his mouth.“Just breathe.”“I can’t! You don’t understand.” Giving up, she let her head fall against his chest and his shirt darkened as the blood seeped through. “Fuck!”Footsteps echoed from across the room and Y/N pulled herself from the cave of Sam’s arms, spinning to see an angel in the archway.Castiel smiled softly and opened his arms at his sides, a small gesture of greeting.Y/N didn’t care that he would find it awkward, she ran to him and tossed her arms around his neck. He was stiff and cool as if the autumn air resided within him. He smelled like the wind and she closed her eyes, finding hope by his side.“Cas…”“Hello, Y/N.”She smiled up at him and then turned, glowering at Dean. “You called him?”He nodded. “Yeah.”Y/N pulled away from Cas and shook her head, anger pulsing behind her eyes. “So you do think something’s wrong with me. What was last night? Just get her drunk to shut her up?”Dean startled. “No. Not at all.”“Then why?”His shoulders bowed inward. “You were crying in your sleep, Y/N. Screaming. Whatever this is, it isn’t good.”She softened and turned back to the angel. “Do you think you can fix me?”Castiel nodded, his blue eyes serious and focused. “I can try.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Y/N perched on the foot of her bed and rubbed her palms down her thighs, nervous and exhausted.Her room looked sad and abandoned. It had been a while since she’d stayed there, coming in only now and then to grab clothes or switch out toiletries. A few photographs in dusty frames sat atop her desk and her mother’s crocheted blanket hung over the back of the chair. Otherwise, the place was unrecongizable as belonging to Y/N.Her time was spent with Dean now, cluttering up his room and his life.Honestly, if she thought about it, she couldn’t remember ever sleeping in her room. Or setting it up, placing the photos on the desk top, folding the blanket. If she really thought about it, it all seemed so foreign, so strange.Castiel knocked gently and her thoughts shifted to the problem at hand. She smiled softly as he came in, jumped a bit when he shut the door behind him.“Is this really necessary?” she asked, feeling a little shaky as he walked towards the bed. “We could have just done this out there-”“I thought you would prefer the privacy.”His deep voice sent a shiver through her and Y/N laughed awkwardly.“If you wanted to get me alone, Cas, all you had to do was ask.”She winked and he frowned, confused.“I did.”“Yeah, but- it’s- yeah, nevermind.”He cocked his head but she waved it off, shaking her head at him.“Just forget it. So, what do you need me to do?”Castiel approached the bed, eyes sweeping over her face. “It would be helpful if you lay back,” he said simply. “Get comfortable.”Her stomach flipped. “Why? Aren’t you just going to slap me with two fingers and get to healing?”Pulling the chair away from the desk, he dragged it to the side of the bed and sat. “I could, yes. But Dean seems to think that more is needed. We’d like to find out what is going on.”Tentatively, she scooted up onto the bed, her eyes still locked suspiciously on Castiel. “And how are you going to do that?”He waited until Y/N’s head was settled on the pillow. “I’m going to take a look inside your dreams.” Leaning forward, he reached his right hand towards her head, but Y/N flinched away.“You’re gonna what now?”“I’m going to look inside your mind and follow the dreams back to their source.”He was too calm, too sure that what he was saying wasn’t insane, and Y/N laughed at the ridiculousness of her life.“So…” She sat up on her elbows and stared him down. “Your plan is to knock me out and dream walk inside my head with me?”Castiel pondered for a second and then nodded. “Yes.”“Don’t you think that could be a little… awkward?”His brows furrowed. “How so?”Y/N stammered. “I- well- I mean- I don’t know what’s going on up there. What if there are things you shouldn’t be seeing?”Castiel smiled warmly and sighed. “Would it help if you swore me to secrecy?”“Actually, I think it would.” Calmer, she lay back down and folded her hands over her stomach. “And no judging me. Dreams are weird. Do you dream?”He laughed lightly. “I do not.”“OK, so you don’t know how weird it can get in there. No judgy. Promise.”His fingers hovered over her forehead. “I promise. No… judgy.”Satisfied, she took a deep breath and looked up into his bright blue eyes. “Just be gentle with me, Cas. I’m not sure if-”
“- I’m entirely comfortable with this. What the fuck…”

They stood in the middle of a brightly lit room. The walls were beige, the floors tiled in speckled white. Heavy metal bars hung over the windows on either side of them, and empty chairs were sat next to empty tables.

Y/N looked around, confused.

“Where are we?” she asked, fear making her reach for Castiel’s hand.

He squeezed back reassuringly before letting her go.

“I was hoping you could tell me,” he replied, squinting at the double doors across the room.

Y/N shrugged. “No clue. If I’m dreaming, this is a new one for me.”

“You are dreaming,” he said, taking a step towards the exit.

“So what do we do now?”

“We see what happens.”

“What if nothing hap-”

On cue, the double doors burst open and Dean, dressed in the pale blue uniform of an orderly appeared. He looked past Y/N and Castiel, pushing a sluggish figure in a wheelchair.

“Dean?”

He didn’t respond or seem to notice her there, going about his work of wheeling in the patient.

Y/N looked close as they came near and gasped when she saw herself in the chair. Her hair was down, matted and greasy, covering her tired face; her arms stretched tight around her torso in a straightjacket.

“Well, this can’t be good.”

Castiel was without question or judgment and Y/N was at a loss. She shrugged at the angel and watched as Dean locked the wheelchair’s wheels. When he was done, he turned to leave and Y/N felt a strong urge to follow him.

“I guess this is what we’re doing, Cas. Come on.”

Awake and walking through the dream felt like floating through gelatin. Her legs were weak and each step seemed to bring the world closer but push her goal further away.

Once they pushed through the doors, the hospital was gone, replaced with an open field of purple flowers and a slowly setting sun. The Impala was parked in the middle of the flowers and Y/N smiled, hoping for a lovely scene.

The windows were down and Y/N peered inside, careful not to disturb anything. A blush washed over her face when she beheld a very naked Dean pounding into her dreamself in the backseat.

“Oh… oh my…” She shook her head at Castiel, waving him off before he could reach the car. “You… don’t need to see this one… All good in here.”

Just as she spoke, the sound of her own voice cracked the sky. Y/N screamed from inside the car as Dean ripped into her gut with the tip of the ancient First Blade. His eyes flashed to black and the Y/N outside screamed as well. She could feel the seering pain as the bone cut into her stomach, see the horrific grin on Dean’s face.

She scrambled back and away from the car, slipping down into a patch of thick mud.

The sky faded to pitch as she lay there, coated in the damp muck. The Impala vanished and she struggled to move.

Castiel reached for her and she stood by his side, steady, safe.

“What is going on?” she whispered, breath slowly rushing back into her lungs.

“I’m not sure,” he said sadly. “Just remember, you’re safe. None of this is real. We’re still inside your head.”

Y/N groaned. “Yeah, but I’m not liking what’s in here so far.”

“Neither am I…”

Together, they walked a few paces in the dark, lost without direction or guiding light.

“Well this is just stupid,” Y/N sighed, refusing to take another step into the unknown. “I need a… thingy.”

Castiel balked. “Thingy?”
 
“You know… a…” As soon as she found the word, it appeared in her hand, fully charged and bright. “Flashlight! Cool.”

Turning, Y/N cast the light across the open field. Not too far away, a large figure was hunched over like a rock in the dark.

Y/N hesitated. “Maybe we just stay here,” she whispered, leaning close to Castiel. “Nothing good can come of going over there.”

Cas cleared his throat and tugged on her sleeve. “We’re going.”

The closer they got, the more the rock moved. As the light shone, Y/N could clearly see that it was less of a rock and more of a Sam Winchester rocking backwards with a barely clothed Y/N in his lap.

Stunned, she stared on as her dreamself tore Sam’s orange plaid open and ran her tongue down his throat.

Castiel turned to Y/N and bit his lip, questioning with a sensitive look.

Y/N clicked her tongue, biding time while she thought of an excuse. “Look, I- I mean… I can’t control what goes on in here! We said no judgy!”

A growl caught their attention and the angel and Y/N looked back to see the other Y/N sink her fangs into Sam’s throat, ripping a chunk of flesh clean away.

Y/N cringed. “Holy shit-”

Sam screamed, clawing at her bare shoulders, trying to push her off as the blood coated his chest.

As she watched, Y/N felt her mouth flood with warmth and Sam’s spicey aftershave and minty taste filled her senses. She swallowed hard and hummed as the sweet blood ran through her system.

“This is fucked up,” she gasped, reaching out to grab a fistful of trench coat, steadying herself.

Castiel agreed. “Very.”

The blood kept coming, pouring into her mouth, thick and as sweet as honey. She shivered as Sam cried out and dream Y/N sat back, laughing at his struggle.

Behind them, Dean appeared out of nowhere, a long blade tight in his fist. He swung and Y/N went down, her head rolling off into the darkness.

“Well… damn!”

Y/N’s jaw dropped as she watched herself die and Castiel pulled her close.

“We should go,” he said, turning with her as the scene faded.

“Go where?”

The world opened up around them and the light returned, blinding and hot.

“This is exhausting,” Y/N sighed, pulling away from Castiel’s side. “Sleeping isn’t supposed to be so traumatic.”

The sun eased behind a cloud and a junkyard appeared around them. Cars and trucks in various stages of repair cluttered a dusty lot, and Y/N sucked in a stunned breath.

“What are we doing here?”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed at the sign above the driveway. “Singer Auto Salvage,” he read aloud. “This is Bobby Singer’s old place.”

Y/N nodded, too stunned and terrified to speak.

Confused, Castiel turned, looking around at the wrecks. “But you were never… how are we here?”

A few yards away, he appeared, stepping into the empty row across from them. His ballcap was dusty and his face was caked with blood. A smile lifted beneath his graying beard and Bobby raised a hand to wave at Y/N.

“Daddy?”

She took off in a flash, kicking at the dry earth as she ran towards Bobby.

“Daddy!”

A shot rang out, stinging her ears, and Bobby’s knees gave out as a bullet burst through his chest. His white tee ripped apart and soaked up the crimson flood. As he hit the ground, Y/N looked up to see her own eyes staring back, a smoking gun held tight in her hand.

“No!”

She hit the ground, fists pounding the dirt.

The pistol clicked, the chamber reloaded.

Castiel dragged her from her knees while the sky shimmered above them.

“Let me go!” Y/N raged at his hand, trying to pry the impossibly strong grip away. “Cas!”

His hands fell away and Y/N hit the ground again. She gasped as her hands hit smooth tile, the dirt gone and forgotten.

Suddenly back in the Bunker, Y/N climbed to her feet and took a heavy breath. “What is going on? None of this has been in my nightmares, Cas. This is all weird-”

The angel was walking ahead, forging on down the twisting hallway.

Y/N followed, holding her breath around every turn, sure she would see some heart-stopping horror at each bend.

As they walked on, a gentle but husky moaning pulsed from somewhere in the Bunker. Y/N blushed, recongizing her own heated noises.

“What the fuck, am I just screwing everyone in here?”

A loud cry echoed down the hallway and she quickly caught up with Castiel.

Y/N cleared her throat. “I don’t think we need to keep going…”

He frowned. “We do. We’re here to do a job and we’re going to do it.”

“Yeah but- do we really need to see- oh god…”

Stepping into the War Room, Y/N and Castiel followed the sound upwards. There, hovering just under the roof, was a very naked Castiel and an equally naked Y/N riding him, her hands pressed into the ceiling, his tie wrapped loosely around her neck.

“Fuck, just like that…” Dream Y/N cried out, hips rolling over Castiel’s.

Embarrassment slapped Y/N in the face and she laughed painfully. “I… um-”

Castiel turned to face her, his cheeks a little pinker than usual. “It’s alright, Y/N.”

“This isn’t- um… I mean…”

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “You don’t have to-”

“I’m not gonna say I haven’t seen this one before but…”

Again, Castiel shook his head, stunned into a strained silence.

He turned to leave and Y/N pressed her legs together as a jolt of pleasure struck her.

“Oh god. Cas! I’m sorry!”

Back through the hallway they went, peeking into open doors and pushing at locked ones. Everything they saw was unexpected, every scene slightly worse than before. Y/N’s mind was a catacomb of oddities and Castiel helped walk her through it without a scolding word.

Y/N was growing weary of the entire experience. It was one thing to dream these scenarios, but to see them all laid out one after the other was nearly too much to take.

In one door, she watched herself overdose, bloody spit bubbling from her mouth while Sam struggled to give her CPR.

In another, Dean dressed as Doctor Sexy carved his name into her thighs and chest before fucking her hard, the blood dribbled onto his cock like lubrication.

There were a thousand doors and a million dreams, and Y/N found it impossible to keep going. She could feel everything she saw, good or bad; smell the burning flesh behind the door to Hell, taste the motor oil that Dean poured via funnel down her throat. She was stabbed, shot, hung, pulled apart, fucked, cuddled, kissed, adored. She loved and murdered and cried and laughed. She ran through mist and cowered under staircases. Watched herself die and kill, live and lose; heard the throbbing pulse of the universe as it rang through her mind.

It was all too much.

At the end of the hallway, she collapsed. Her head was spinning and the air was too thin. With her last breath she called out for Castiel and he rushed to her aid, scooping her up into his strong arms.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The room was freezing when she woke; the tip of her nose felt like ice and her fingers were numb. Shivering, she clung to the thin woolen blanket, rolling onto her side and tucking her knees to her chest.Slowly, she realized that it wasn’t the room that was chilled, but that the cold was coming from inside of her. Her breath came out in a puff of ice crystals that lingered in the air above her face, shining down like a wintery ghost. It floated, shifting and forming itself into a picture perfect cloud of snowflakes and mist. Curiously, Y/N reached up and touched one of the crystals. The entire form shattered, crackling into tiny shards of glass that shot down and into her, stabbing her with a thousand pricks across her face, throat and arms. She screamed and the bed began to shake, the mattress waving like a turbulent ocean. The cuts on her skin deepened and widened; blood poured from each gash, soaking into the hungry bed, feeding it all of her.The walls blurred and the ceiling wavered like a mirage as the blood drained away. Her body ached, the cuts burned. She tried to scream, to call for help, but her voice was gone, stolen by the pain.The rasping echoed through the room stopped only by a faint whisper of her name.“Y/N…”The voice was calm and familiar, and she pushed herself up from the pillow, searching for the source.Chuck stood at the foot of her bed, his arms loose at his sides, judging blue eyes locked on her. Again, he whispered her name and her heart jerked to a stop.The jolt pushed her back onto the pillow and Y/N gasped as she woke, hands wildly searching for something real to grab onto.The bed beside her was empty once more, Dean’s pillow perfectly untouched. Fighting back a wave of tears, she ripped herself from the blanket and climbed to her feet. The floor swooshed beneath her like a fun house bridge and she clamped her eyes shut tight.“It’s not real,” she croaked, “it’s not real.”With careful steps, she managed to reach the door and propel herself out into the empty hallway.The tiles shimmered like radioactive gems, reflecting the hanging lights above and shooting off neon steaks. Y/N dodged the beams, picking up speed as she made her way through the Bunker’s maze. Behind her, lightbulbs popped, shattering into glittery dust as a dark smoke churned. The monstrous mist advanced, filling the entire corridor, eeking into every nook and corner, sending the world behind her into blackness.Y/N broke out into a run. Her bare feet slapped the polished floors, giving her a bit of grip as she careened around corners, desperate to escape the smoke. The harder she ran, the longer the hallway became. It stretched on for miles before her; the glow of the War Room table a mere pinpoint in the distance.As the smoke gained on her, Y/N gave up on outrunning it and tried to hide, testing every door that she came across. The locks were all thrown, some knobs were gone. She pounded on the wood, kicked at the jams, but there was no hope.“Y/N…”Chuck’s voice rang out over her own frantic panting, and she turned to see him stepping out of the smoke, reaching for her.“Come on, Y/N. Don’t make me keep chasing you.”Terrified, she took off again, running as fast as she could manage. Sweat poured down her face, her pulse thudded painfully in her ears. She beat her fists against the air, lifted her knees high; but there was no escape.“Y/N, stop this!”She looked back over her shoulder and Chuck was close, his bearded face set in a stern scowl. Y/N screamed and tripped over her own foot, falling forward and slamming into a solid, warm body.Dean grabbed at her upper arms, holding her steady and shaking her gently.“Y/N! Hey! Hey, I got you!”She jerked away, staring up into incredible green eyes, unsure of what was reality and what was the dream.“Real- are you real? Dean!” She trembled in his grasp, unable to take a full breath. Her eyes were huge and rimmed with red, her lips pale and shredded from worried bites.Tears flooded his eyes as he saw the pain in her face and he pulled her back against his chest. “Yes. I’m real. This is real. You with me?” His big hand cupped the back of her head and Y/N gasped into his shirt, struggling to reconnect to the world and push the phantoms away.The smoke pushed into the War Room, snaking around their feet.“It’s not real, not real…”Helpless, Dean looked to Castiel as a tear streaked down his freckled cheek.Cas came close and reached for Y/N, his left hand hovering over her shoulder.“Y/N… you’re safe,” he reminded her, letting his fingers drift down gently.She jolted at his touch and backed away from Dean, turning to stare at the angel. She squinted up at him, trying to hold her breath as the smoke rose higher. It wrapped around her middle and wafted higher; darkness threatening to swallow her whole.“Cas…” Her throat was raw, her face flooded with salt water. “Why is this happening?”Sadness overtook him and he shook his head slowly. “I don’t know.”The smoke circled her throat and Y/N’s entire frame shook violently. She took one last breath and reached for him through the blackness.“Help me-”It filled her eyes, slipped into her mouth, forced itself down her throat. Y/N fell into the black smoke as the real world fell far away.Her lungs burned. Her head throbbed. She heard Dean shout her name. Dean’s arm cushioned her head as she went down, her unconscious body collapsing onto the hard floor. He scooted down with her and took her in his arms, pressed his palm to her cheek, called her name again.He looked up at Cas, brows creased with painful worry.“What is going on?”Castiel sighed. “I don’t know.”“How can you not know, man! She’s losing her mind. Look at her!”Dean’s rage was misplaced but clear. His voice rang through the Bunker and shook Y/N’s mind free. She pulled in a breath and blinked into the harsh lights, comforted by the warmth of his body and the emerald of his gaze.“Y/N? Hey- hey…”She shivered and coughed, pupils dilating as the world came back into view.“W-what happened?”Dean grit his teeth and struggled to keep himself from breaking down. He exhaled deeply and shook his head. “You came in here screaming like something was chasing you and then you… You passed out, baby. Out cold.”With his help, she sat up. She could feel the blood rushing back into her limbs, the oxygen swirl around in her brain. Every cell prickled with life and she shuddered at the strangeness of it. She set her palms down flat on the floor and measured the hardness, searching for reality in her messed up world.She couldn’t tell what was real. Everything felt like a dream, a horrid hallucination.“Y/N? Can you hear me?”She looked up and found Castiel squating close beside her. His eyes were scrunched up tight, peering into her, reading her aura.She shivered. “Yeah. I mean no. I don’t- what? What are you asking me?”He shared a solemn silent look with Dean over her head and then extended his right hand. “Let me help you up,” he said softly.Her hand slid into his and his grip was reassuring. She held onto him for a moment after standing, needing his strength to ground her.“Is this real?” she asked, chewing her lip nervously.Castiel nodded. “It is.”“How do I know?”His thumb brushed over the back of her hand. “You just have to believe it.”Tears rimmed her eyes once again, hot and annoying. She looked up and a stream fell down her cheek. “And if I can’t?”Castiel’s fingers lifted to brush the tear from her face. He tipped his head, unsure of how to answer.Dean wiped his palms down his jeans as he stood. “Then you believe us,” he said softly.Y/N turned to look back at him, trembling as the wall behind him started to shimmer.“You believe me.” He lifted her hand from Castiel’s and turned her palm to fit against his. “This is real,” he said, threading his fingers between hers. “Feel this? This is real. You and me.”She tried to believe him, to focus on the green of his eyes and the love in his voice, but the world around her was shaking. She could feel the blackness creeping around the edges of the room, threatening to pull her down again.“You and me,” he said again, squeezing her hand harder.“Yeah,” she whispered, ignoring Chuck’s shadowy silhouette over his shoulder. “You and me.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

There was no rest.If she slept, she fell in so deep that Dean was forced to shake her awake lest she scream herself hoarse and claw her cheeks bloody.Awake, she was plagued by the black mist and Chuck’s mocking stare lingering on the outskirts of her vision. She saw blood everywhere, watched Sam and Dean die on a loop. She tasted death, smelled the rotting flesh of forgotten bodies, walked through dense, poisoned air.Anytime she needed him, Dean was there to pull her back with a word or a touch, but it was wearing him down as well.She needed more help than he could give.After striking out magically and spiritually, they tried a medical solution, drugging her with Haldol and sedatives, but the drugs only made things worse.She was in hell.Exhausted and miserable, she sat wrapped in Sam’s old hoodie in her favorite reading chair. Her knees were up high, her arms tight around her legs. She was quiet and still, staring off at nothing, trying to ignore the flames that licked at the books to her left.The fire grew hotter and she tugged on the strings of the sweatshirt, tightening the hood around her face.In the next room, Dean was pacing. He rubbed at the back of his neck and looked through the archway, checking on Y/N.“Not good,” he muttered, turning and walking back the way he came.Sam lifted his eyes from the computer and took a peek at Y/N as well. She was shaking visibly and his heart broke.“I know…”“What are we gonna do?”Sam shrugged. “Really, there’s only one thing we can do.”Dean grit his teeth. “No. We’re not doing that.”“Dean-”“I said no!”Y/N appeared in the archway, tired fingers clinging to the stone for support. Her gaze drifted between the brothers and she pushed the hood away.“What are we not doing?” she asked, voice weak and torn.Dean shook his head and turned away, refusing to show his frustration.Sam swallowed hard and leaned back in his chair. He ran a finger across his upper lip, thinking.Y/N stepped forward. “Well?”Sam sighed. “I think- we- we think you need professional help, Y/N.”Her stomach twisted into a nervous ball. “What do you mean? Like a… therapist?”He dropped his gaze. “Probably a little more than that.”Her pulse quickened. “You want to lock me up.”Dean looked back over his shoulder. “No, Y/N…”Her throat tightened. “Yes you do. You wanna commit me. You think I’m insane.”A blood red tear slid down his cheek. Black mist crept slowly up the back wall.Sam cleared his throat. “We don’t. But… for your safety, I-”“My safety.” She laughed bitterly. “For my safety, you’re going to shove me in a padded room and throw away the key. Great. That’s just great.”“Y/N-”“No!” Tossing a hand up, she spun away from them both. “Ya know… anything happens to either one of you and it’s ‘tear the world apart looking for an answer’. Me? Nah… it’s just stress. Couldn’t possibly be anything remotely unnatural happening here. Just drag me to the nut house and pump me full of drugs until I die. Great plan.”Dean dropped his head, hiding him face between his hands. His shoulders shook with a heavy sigh as he fought back pained tears, but Y/N saw it all.“You don’t agree, Dean?” she asked, begging him with sad eyes to stay on her side.Dragging his hands down his face, he looked over, green eyes streaked with wetness. “Y/N…”Her stomach dropped and her lip trembled. “So you’re on board with this?”He tried to speak, but nothing came out. His lips opened and shut without a word.“I thought we were in this together,” she said, whispering her pain to the room. “You and me, right?”He turned to face her fully, still at a loss. “It is… I mean, we are.”Anger swirled in her gut. She dug her nails into her palms and stared up at the ceiling, hoping for help from above.The lights burned her eyes, shifting from the warm ancient bulbs to the bright fluorescents of a hospital. She cringed at the glow as a strange wave of warmth washed over her. It felt like being drugged, like her body was melting with a strong sedative, and her knees buckled. She swayed on her feet and reached for the table, gripping the edge until the moment passed.Sam pushed up from his seat, ready to rush to her side, but Y/N glared up at him in warning. He stayed back, watching carefully.When the lights dimmed, she stood up, slightly out of breath and a little dizzy.“You OK?”Sam’s voice scratched at her brain and she grit her teeth.“What do you think?” she spat.He flinched. “I think we need to get some help.” He was kind and his tone was soft but Y/N took it like a hammer to the skull.In her eyes, Chuck appeared in the corner, leaning casually against the wall, arms and ankles crossed. He laughed and it echoed through her head.“I think he’s right…”Y/N swallowed hard. “Shut up,” she whispered, trying to ignore him.Sam sighed, his shoulders dropping. “Y/N…”Chuck smirked. “You’re insane and they know it now. It’s time to stop fooling around.”Y/N trembled. “I said shut up.”Sam jerked upright, standing at full height. He pursed his lips, startled and a bit hurt.“Y/N,” Dean spoke up, rounding the table to get to her. “We’re just trying to do what’s best here, and I think… I think Sam’s right.”Her heart was racing. Her jaw was aching from clenching so tight.Chuck mocked her from the corner, laughing.“They wanna lock you up. You should let them. It’s not safe here for you anymore.”Her lungs were tight, hands twitching. The lights burned bright again and her skin began to crawl.She looked over Dean’s shoulder at the shimmering vision of Chuck. “Why are you doing this to me?”“I’m trying to help you,” he said, kicking off of the wall and moving closer.Dean’s chest sunk inwards and his shoulders turned. “We’re trying to help you.”Y/N closed her eyes, bit down hard into her lip, desperate to force Chuck to leave her be.“Go away!”Dean startled, boots halting with a thud. “Baby, please-”Chuck moved around him, standing in the space between them. He smiled. “I’m not going anywhere. But you are.”He reached for Y/N and she screamed, jumping back and nearly tripping over her own feet.“You can’t get away from this,” he told her, stepping closer as she skirted backward.Scared, she looked to Dean for help but he was frozen like a statue behind Chuck. His body was locked in place, his lips parted in a shout, his eyes glued forward.“Dean! Please!”She screamed for him and Chuck snapped his fingers.The bright lights struck Dean’s face, beaming off of every freckle, every line. He shone like crystal and the light burned into him. Y/N watched in horror as the lines around his eyes split apart, letting the light inside. The cracks deepened until the form could not hold together any longer and Dean shattered, his body breaking into a million tiny specs of glass.The tinkle of his fall against the tiles rang through the room and Y/N doubled over with a shrieking scream.Sam rushed to catch her, but another snap of Chuck’s fingers splintered every bone in his long body. His limbs turned to rubber and he collapsed at Y/N’s side, groaning in agony and looking up at her with a muted, pained plea.Horrorstruck, she screamed at Chuck as she bent to help Sam.“Stop this! Please!”Chuck sighed and took pity. With a flick of his wrist, Sam’s eyes went wide and a bubble of blood burst from his lips. Y/N lay her hand against his cheek and his skin turned to jelly, sinking in on itself until Sam was a puddle of putrid flesh and blood swirling around her knees.Screams shook her body as she slipped through the muck, trying to get away. Her back hit the ground, hands and feet sliding through blood and broken glass, the remnants of the Winchesters.“Help me!” Her voice hit the walls and raced back at her from every angle. There was no one to hear her, no one to help. “Please!”Chuck advanced, enjoying her pain.“You’re just going to have to deal with it,” he told her simply. “This is your life now. Your pain. Your constant torture.” He grinned. “Unless…”“Unless?” She looked up, eyes hopeful and flooded with tears.“Well, you could just kill yourself and be done with it all.”Her breath stopped in her throat. “W-what?”Chuck crouched down, leaning close. “Just one little bullet and this could all be over. You could be free.”“No.” She shivered violently as his words soaked into her bones. “No. No!”Chuck shrugged and set his hand on her shoulder, pushing her down flat onto her back.“Just a suggestion…”He caught her left wrist and shoved it down at her side, locking it into the velcro cuff that appeared.“No. Please! Help me!” Y/N struggled, kicking her arms and legs as the floor beneath her softened. Crisp white sheets emerged from the tiles, a flat pillow bloomed under her head. Stainless steel bars walled her in and Chuck grabbed her right hand, forcing it down into another cuff.The Bunker’s lights shone impossibly bright and the world around her flickered, morphing into the stark sterility of a hospital room. The off white paint flooded upward from floor to ceiling, taking over the dark walls and the fading echo of her screams became the tight, steady beep of machines.She raged against Chuck’s impossible grip but it was no use.“Don’t do this to me, please!”He sighed, blue eyes narrowing on her face.“It’s for your own good, Y/N…”“No!”He moved down to secure her ankles and Dean appeared by the foot of the bed. He was whole and alive but looked too different. His clothes were wrong, his hair too long, his cheeks hidden by a thick beard. He looked down with a pathetic frown and sighed.“It’s for your own good, Y/N.”His voice was different, higher and softer, lacking the gruff rasp that she knew and loved.Fear rumbled through her and she kicked at Chuck, twisting and tearing at the cuffs. The fabric bit into her skin and blood oozed down her arms.Tears rushed down Dean’s face and he stepped back, fading into the background.Y/N watched him vanish and panicked, feeling the emptiness and rejection deep in her soul. “Dean!”The blood flowed faster, soaking into the clean white sheets and Y/N’s head lolled to the side. Dizzy and lost, she thrashed on the bed, unable to break free.A whoosh of cool air struck her cheeks and Y/N looked up to see Castiel by her side. His forehead was creased with concern, blue eyes bright but pained.“Cas,” she gasped, struggling to catch her breath. “Help me…”Two fingers pressed against her temple and the horrors vanished as Y/N fell into blessed darkness.Dean cradled her unconscious form, hugging her to him and rocking gently on the floor. He turned to Cas and tried to whisper a faint thank you, but speaking clearly was too hard. He was breaking with her, losing his love as she lost her mind.“What are we gonna do?” he asked, voice crackling around his tears.Castiel frowned and stood up. “She’ll sleep for a while,” he said with a sigh.Dean swallowed hard. “And then?”The angel had no answer and Dean dropped his head, pressing his lips to her forehead.“I got you,” he whispered, hugging her tighter. “Always.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

There was no sweetness in the darkness, only more of the same desperate pain.Y/N woke with a jolt, pushing herself up against the headboard as Dean’s bedroom came into view. The light was dim and the air was cool, scented with the familiar blend of whiskey and lingering smoke. Dean had been sneaking out more often in the last weeks, hiding out on the steps or in the woods behind the Bunker, stealing cigarettes when he could. She pretended not to notice, but the stains on his fingers and the musky air of his kisses were obvious.Dean.Y/N rubbed her eyes and patted the bed beside her. The blanket was tucked tight around her lap and his side was empty. She sighed.He was slumped down in the desk chair at the foot of the bed. His cheek rested on his hand, his elbow teetering precariously on the arm of the chair. His mouth was slack, a bit of drool leaking out of the corner, and his face was pale. He’d been sitting watch all night and most of the day.Y/N felt a stab of guilt. He was wasting away just as surely as she was.“He is.”Chuck appeared at the edge of her bed, sitting pretty where Dean should have been. He smiled sadly and looked back over his shoulder at the slumbering man.“You’re killing him, Y/N.”Her hands shook, fingers clawing at the sheets to steady herself.“All this drama with you, it’s really taking a toll on him. Do you realize he’s up to almost a pack a day now? And I can assure you, his liver is about to fail from all the bourbon-”“Go away,” she whispered, wary of waking Dean. “Please.”Chuck sighed and patted the bed by her leg. “Nah. Come with me. Let’s take a walk.”Y/N was startled by the calmness of his request. She had so gotten used to terrific horrors being tossed at her, that the idea of a casual stroll seemed horribly out of place.She hesitated.Chuck smiled and nodded towards the door. “Come on.”Dean let out a gentle snore as Y/N slipped off of the bed. She tiptoed by him without a sound and followed Chuck through the door.A shivering breeze struck her cheeks and she looked around with a gasp, finding herself outside of the Bunker. She was at the bottom of the steps and Chuck stood at the top, beckoning her to join him.“Where are we going?” she asked, hissing as the coldness from the old stone stairs bit into her barefeet.“That’s a good question, Y/N.” Chuck turned to face her. “Where are we going?”She scoffed. “You brought me out here.”He nodded. “True. But where is here?”She bit her lip, confused.“No where,” he answered for her. “We are no where. This is nothing.” He lifted his palms to the sky and turned, showing off the gloomy afternoon. “This isn’t real.”Y/N squinted into the light. “What are you talking about?”“What’s behind the Bunker, Y/N?”She stumbled, unable to find an answer. “It’s… uh… nothing. It’s woods.”Chuck smiled. “And how far is it to town?”Again, she had no real answer. “I don’t know, a few… miles…”“East or west?”“What?”“Which way is it?”Her stomach ached, churning with nerves. She turned in a circle, trying to point the way. “Left?”Chuck hummed to himself and took off, walking briskly up the hill and into the woods.“Wait! Where are you going!” Y/N followed, toes scraping over the fallen leaves and damp ground. “Hey! Asshole!”As Chuck disappeared into the brush, a heavy rain began to fall and Y/N shivered as the droplets peppered her skin. She took off in a rush, somehow outrunning the downpour. It cascaded down in sheets behind her, chasing but never catching. It nipped at her heels, whipped at the nape of her neck, teasing, pushing, taunting.“Chuck!”Y/N’s voice faded in the wood, caught by the pines, swallowed whole and without mercy. She pounded the ground, pumping her fists until her lungs burned and she was sure she would collapse.Chuck was waiting for her in a small clearing. He stood next to a trio of stones that sprang up from the ground as Y/N approached.“What is this?” she asked, doubling over as she struggled to catch her breath. “What are we doing?”Chuck gestured to the stones and the objects on top. “It’s time for you to choose.”Her chest ached. “Choose what?”“Your fate.”The rain finally caught up, circling the clearing and drowning out the rest of the forest. Trees vanished behind the waterfall but the sky was bright around them.Awed by the trick of the rain, Y/N shook her head at Chuck. “You’re not real. You’re not really here. I’m just… I’m going crazy.”“Already there,” he teased, blue eyes glistening in the light.“Fuck you.”Chuck laughed, impressed by her gall. “You know, if you’re wrong, you just told God to fuck off.”She was nervous but unwilling to bend. “Well, it’s a good thing you’re not real.”He bit his lip, choosing his words carefully. “How do you know I’m not?”Strangled tears welled in her eyes. “Because nothing’s been real for weeks! You’re just… a hallucination, a nightmare. Nothing is real.”Chuck grinned and snapped his fingers. “That’s just it. Nothing is real. This forest, the Bunker, Dean, Sam. None of this is real. It’s all in your head.”“You’re lying.”He shook his head sadly. “I wish I was, but I’m not. Think about it- when did this all start?”“Wha- when did it start?” She stammered. “I-I don’t know. It- a few days ago, I guess.”“Days, weeks, a month, it’s all the same, isn’t it? Time is just you moving from one mess to the next.”There was a truth burning behind his words and Y/N turned away, refusing to acknowledge it.“No.” She grit her teeth, ignored the tingling in her veins. “This is real. I’m real. Dean’s real. Me and Dean. Always.”Chuck laughed. “And how long have you known him?”Her temples throbbed. “What?”“When did you meet him? Sam? Where was it? On a case? Were you a hunter before? A civilian? What?”She struggled to answer but the facts were twisted and blurry in her head. “I… I don’t know…”“Because it’s not real, Y/N.”He sounded almost sad for her, but the rage inside of her was burning. She closed her eyes, willing him to vanish.“No.”“When was the last time you were on a hunt? They’re constantly catching cases, fighting some big bad, but you’ve been distracting them for weeks now. And then there’s there attitudes. Sam doesn’t seem to think there’s a problem with your nightmares, Dean is all lovey dovey. Doesn’t seem likely, does it? All seems a little… out of character.”Her stomach dropped, her shoulders fell. He was right. Everything was slightly off in her world: the color, the sound, their actions, words.The rain inched closer, shrinking the circle.She took a step closer to the stones.“So none of this- this is all in my head?”Chuck nodded solemnly. “It is.”Belief rustled through her and she took another step as the rain grew closer.“What do I do?”He held out a hand, gesturing to the stones. Atop the first one was Dean’s pistol, the pearl handle shinging beautifully in the warm sun. The second stone held an orange bottle of pills with a white label. The last rock was empty and she looked up at Chuck.“What is this?”“A choice.” Chuck walked around to stand behind the stones opposite Y/N. “You can end this, stop the terror…”Her gaze fell over the pistol and a gunshot rang out, making her cringe and dig her nails into her sides.“Push the pain far away…”She looked at the pills and tasted the bitterness on her tongue, the sluggish weight of the drugs pulling her down.“Or, you can stay here.”Y/N found the empty spot and clung to it, wanting to stay, needing it.“You can end your life and be free, or stay here and kill him.”In a flash, Dean was there, standing to her right.“Y/N, don’t do this.”His cheeks were stained and he held up his hands, begging her to stop. Green eyes flickered down to her hands and Y/N followed them, looking down to find his pistol there.She gasped, suddenly aware of the weight of the loaded gun. She turned it in her hand, hooking her finger against the trigger.“Y/N! Come on, baby, give me the gun…”Dean took a tentative step towards her and Y/N raised the gun.“Dean?”Chuck clicked his tongue, annoyed. “Look at him, Y/N. Look how thin and pale he’s gotten. You’re killing him. You can’t stay here.”She stared at Chuck, nodding. “Yeah… Yeah. You’re right.”Dean clapped his hands together loudly. “Hey! Look at me! I’m right here. Remember? You and me. This is real. Whatever you’re seeing, it’s not real, baby. I’m real. You and me.”“Whatever you’re seeing, Y/N/N, it’s not real… please…”The phantom voice startled her. It was Dean but not Dean. Gentilier, smoother.“Come on, baby. Don’t do this…”Y/N shuddered and closed her eyes to everything, trying to figure out what was real, what was the dream. Her head was spinning; her body ached. She pressed the muzzle to her temple and held her breath.Chuck laughed. “Go on… do it.”“Hang on Y/N… please, God… hang on…”Trembling, Y/N tapped the gun against her skull. Nothing made sense, nothing was real.The rain closed in around them. She could feel it casting a mist against her cheeks.“Y/N…”Giving up, she inhaled deeply and opened her eyes, finding green staring back. She smiled slowly and exhaled as she pulled the trigger.Dean lunged for her, knocking the pistol from her hand.They fell to the ground as the rain overtook the clearing and Dean’s scream was drowned out by a distant crash of thunder.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jensen sat by her side, head held in his hands, elbows digging into his knees. His beard was thick, his hair greasy and unkempt. The flesh below his eyes was dark, his vision strained from lack of sleep.Y/N was still asleep and he marked the time by each labored rise and fall of her chest. Her wrists were bound to the bed, her ackles spread and locked in place by velcro straps. The sheets beneath her were wrinkled and twisted, the pillow flat around her head.She stirred and he sat up, leaning close to check on her. He was still shaking, traumatized by the whole ordeal. The weeks leading up to her crash, the stress of trying to help her from so far away. The hallucinations were wild and she had to face them alone. He should have done more, should have forced her to go to the hospital sooner, should have… should have… should have…He sucked in a heavy breath and cleared the tears from his eyes when the door opened.Cindy, the ward nurse, came in, her white sneakers squeaking gently on the polished floor. She smiled kindly at Jensen and went about her task checking Y/N’s vitals.She eyed Jensen over the clipboard as she noted the time and numbers. “You should go home and rest,” she said quietly.He shook his head. “Can’t do that.” His voice creaked and he cleared his throat, pushing away the tears. “I need to be here when she wakes up.”Cindy gave him a sad smile and nodded. “I understand.”“She will-” His heart ached and he reached for Y/N’s hand, squeezing her fingers tight. “She will wake up, won’t she?”The nurse sighed and hung the clipboard off the foot of the bed. “The pills she took did a lot of damage and the seizure was severe. Her… brain was without oxygen for three minutes, and…”She trailed off, seeing Jensen crumble. Hunched over, he dropped his head and kissed Y/N’s hand. He shuddered, unable to stop himself from crying again.“We can pray,” she said softly.Jensen looked up and nodded. “Thank you.”Cindy walked away quietly, tiptoeing so her shoes didn’t squeak so loudly. When she reached the door, she turned, offering a tiny speck of comfort.“I’m sure you did all that you could.”Green eyes burned with guilt.“Yeah…”~“You did all that you could, Dean.”Castiel stood at the foot of the bed, looking down upon Y/N’s unconscious form. The bullet had grazed her forehead, knocked aside by Dean’s tackle, but she had not yet awakened. She was lost to trauma, her own mind caging her deep inside.For days, Dean sat by her side in the hospital, watching every breath and counting every beep on the monitor. Sometimes, he whispered to her just to see if the lines on the screen would move, but mostly, he sat and stared, hating himself and everything that he had failed to do.“I didn’t do shit, Cas, and you know it.”The angel frowned deeply. “You saved her life.”Dean looked up, frustrated and broken. “Yeah. Sure looks like it.”“Dean, don’t-”“You sure there’s nothing you can do?” His lip trembled and he reached for Y/N’s hand, holding it tight.Castiel hung his head. “I’m sorry.”Dean inhaled deeply. His chest was aching, his body close to collapse with exhaustion. His gaze fell across her face. “Can you see inside her head?” he asked, hoping for some solace. “Is she… she still in there?”Cas looked ahead, squinting at Y/N. “I don’t know, Dean.” He shook his head sadly. “But wherever she is, I’m sure she’s alright.”Green eyes flooded with painful tears. “Yeah…”~
Y/N shut the oven door and wiped her hands on her gingham apron.

The sound of boots filled the little kitchen and Y/N smiled as Dean snuck up behind her. His sweaty arms fit perfectly around her waist and his scruffy chin landed on her shoulder.

“Whatcha cookin’, good lookin’?” he asked, sniffing at the air.

Y/N laughed and let herself relax against him. He was warm from the sun and smelled like grass clippings and rich dirt.

“Oh, just an apple pie,” she said, closing her eyes for a moment. “I know you’re not a fan, but-”

His fingers wiggled around her middle and she laughed, tickled by his touch.

“Oh, I’m a fan.” He nuzzled at her throat and then lifted his lips to her ear. “I’m a fan of you too…”

Y/N hummed and spun in his arms, turning to face him. She wrapped her hands around him, letting her fingers curl in the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

“How’d we get here?” she asked, soaking in the love beaming from his emerald eyes. “Cute little house in the middle of nowhere, pie in the oven, dogs in the yard? Don’t you ever wonder how things are just so… perfect?”

Dean laughed softly and shrugged. “I guess I don’t think about it much. Why worry about things when they’re good?”

Y/N smiled. “So things are good?”

He licked his lips and eyed hers, his arms locking behind her back, pulling her closer. “Baby, things are… awesome…”