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By no means was Soap ignorant to his own emotions, so it wasn’t one shocking revelation that after meeting his new Lieutenant that he found himself thinking way too hard about how much the man could carry, or staring gratuitously at the other from the other side of the base’s gym before going over with a joking comment. What made it intensely worse was when Ghost actually seemed to lighten to Soap’s jokes and presence in general, if the stories about the living legend proved true.At first, it was purely physical – it wasn’t every day that the Sergeant encountered a man who could toss him with ease, even in the military. Though the brooding archetype was, actually, a pretty common strand of military one night stand for him when they came about; he didn’t really ever go looking for them, but bar trips before deployment or missions (or after both) had a 50/50 likelihood that Soap would be waking with an achey jaw or with the base of his spine being too sensitive not to be telling. So it was even expected that those feelings for Ghost would arise.What wasn’t expected, however, was the blossoming crush he was garnering on his superior. Every touch lingered, and every connected stare started to have a palpable suggestiveness behind them that couldn’t be explained through Soap’s self-inflicted dry spell. Hell, the continuation of aforementioned dry spell was probably down to Ghost’s damn effects on him – no regulars at the bars the 141 (and average military personnel) filed into caught Soap’s eyes, only ever waiting for the possible flirting drinker to come up to him, and even then those who attempted fell flat when Ghost seemingly always found a reason to come over, saying something asinine while giving a gentle touch or tap to the smaller man’s shoulder (‘Grab us a beer Johnny’ ‘Takin’ a piss, don’t let Gaz steal my drink’ when they both knew Gaz had no inclination to do such a thing in the first place). Surely Ghost knew what he was doing, especially when those flirting with the Sergeant typically lost the wind in their sails after seeing the interaction; Soap didn’t know if he visibly melted or perked enough for it to be visible, or if it was Ghost who set them off, but whatever it was it was the reason that Soap was becoming a fucking Victorian with how he obsessed over seeing any visible pale skin peak behind the usual walls of black material. Lord knows he’d probably come as quick as one at this rate.It was a dangerous game to play and, while he enjoyed the thrill, Soap knew better than to lean into their increasingly inseparability. Though very happy with the little family forming under the 141 banners, Soap was immensely thankful for the recruitment of another Sergeant from a different region of the British Military – Sgt. Gary “Roach” Sanderson. At least he was at the start. Naturally, the Scot found himself as the resident social butterfly and wanted to make himself welcoming to the new teammate; perhaps, subconsciously, time with Roach was used to spend less time with Ghost in his office or spending his downtime admiring the planes of muscle underneath the tight t-shirt, but Soap had also simply found himself drawn to Gary. This time when the tendrils of something curled into Johnny’s gut, he chose not to feel it – rationalise it until it the feeling no longer registered as post-platonic affection. He chose to ignore how his mind created an alternate scenario of Soap entwining their hands when the slightly shorter Sergeant corrected his fingers’ form with a hidden smile while learning some BSL; he pushed away the flare of heat that rose from his stomach to his puffed chest when Roach would praise how well he was doing – whether it was with BSL or something else – it didn’t even matter of it the praise was genuine or teasing because, of course, Soap couldn’t catch a break; and instinctively Soap ignored how right it was for the man call him Johnny. Gaz had almost looked offended when Soap didn’t correct him which, of course, brought up the whole only Ghost is allowed to do that talk, leaving Soap rolling his eyes and trying to dismiss the topic completely.Perhaps that should have made Soap aware of the two other men’s relationship; with Ghost’s monopoly over the nickname, how could Roach have known about it without being told? Completely oblivious to the idea that the two talked about him when together, the news of the relationship knocked Johnny on his arse, but finally found himself connecting the dots together as the three did find themselves often mulling around together when the Lieutenant’s schedule allowed it with Gary being accepted as one of Ghost’s exceptions to the closed-off rule quickly. It was in his myriad of panic that Soap didn’t think about the implications of the same sentiment being extended his way. Instead he opted to spiral – unintentionally.Eating at himself, the Sergeant found himself accidentally avoiding the two men; a singular flash of either Ghost or Roach had the weight of the world held in his chest, feeling like he would suffocate if he got too close. By deluding himself, the thoughts primarily surrounded how shit of a friend he was to both of them, but especially to Roach – crushing on his mate’s boyfriend was surely the worst offence you could pull before actually trying to wreck a relationship. Which he’d never do! Jesus, Mary and sweet baby Jesus, he would never do that to them. So instead he somewhat accidentally found himself trying to be wherever they weren’t. In his mind Soap reassured himself that it would be nice! To have your partner to yourself for a bit – who doesn’t want that? Sure, he was missing them both so much it hurt, and he hated trying to look busy with someone else when Roach came into the room so he didn’t naturally gravitate towards the masked man, and he was no better when it came to Ghost. Luckily for Soap, he was usually the one to bundle up to his Lieutenant, but even when speaking to Gaz or Price or some other no-named soldier, he could feel the questioning look he received after a day or two.Maybe changing his evening habits – the ones which coincided outside of the work day – was too obvious. It was easy to make up some lie on the spot when Roach appeared beside him with a slight crinkle in his brow that most wouldn’t even notice, asking where Soap had gotten off to in the last week or so; he’d often say some sort of work thing, often dumping Price in the deep end by saying the Captain had given him a bit more background work to do on the upcoming mission in Las Almas which was a complete lie. But Roach bought it. Both Sergeants did have to do some work together early on in Roach’s transfer about it, so it wasn’t unbelievable, but it was easily sussed out if Roach went to Price to ask to burden the workload – an offer the man had suggested to Soap personally, but one he obviously turned down. It was no wonder why Ghost was in love with him, he was too damn … loveable! Selfless, kind and caring – traits he loved about his friend, but ones which made it so much harder to lie to him.But Soap had deliberately made himself light on the ground during the evenings, which he couldn’t explain. Still eating at the same time in the mess hall, sandwiched between Gaz and either Ghost or Roach, but quickly leaving when the time for eating ended. Instead of catching up with the rest of the 141, Soap was huddled in his room, usually drawing away in his journal until he realised how obsessive it would look had anyone gotten their hands on it. All in all, the book contained drawings of everyday things – posters, landscapes, random still life he could use from around the base – but then there were people; there were too many to count of his teammates but they were scattered with the last few pages consisting of Price when he played mahjong with Laswell on her visit over, and Gaz watching some TV while eating (which was much harder than he thought since the food quantity and the man’s position kept changing), there was one with Roach and Gaz speaking, one with Ghost and 1/3 of Price’s shoulder when all three of them were overseeing a demonstration. But the pages following those drawings were of two men from memory, individually and together – not too many to be a concern really, but considering how much they were on Soap’s mind, it felt … invasive to look at.Shutting it with an audible slap, Soap whizzed around to look at the clock on his bedside drawer.21:5757 minutes after lights out and his throat was aching from the lack of water.Internally, he even debated getting the water from the communal kitchen but decided that Ghost was too punctual to stay out past lights out while being so close to flying out to Mexico in the days coming; Soap distinctly remembered the “warning” he’d received from the taller man when caught taking a sneaky cigarette the night before – technically morning of – their first mission together. With the memory being comfort enough that he would be able to get in and out with no questions asked, Soap found himself shuffling down the hall with his water bottle in hand, making sure to take even quieter steps past any rooms he knew his teammates were in to make his way to the communal area. He only hesitated a few times, notably before Ghost’s door. The lights were off inside, and he supposed he had been right about the man’s punctuality, but still felt an urge to lean forward and knock, just to check in and see how he’s doing despite knowing he’d get a witty remark back and a (hopefully) gentle order to Go to bed, Sergeant. He even raised his hand to knock before dropping it to his side. He’d done too much to flounder now.Allowing the strands of hair to fall from their position, Soap shook his head before continuing on his journey or hydration. Only to find out he was wrong about his superior’s punctuality. And Roach’s too.Because the two weren’t in their rooms – nor even one of their rooms – but was inside of the lightly lit rec room with Roach seated beside Ghost, turned to face one another while practically leaning into each other. Fuck that, they were devouring each other –Ghost’s hands were spread across Roach’s waist, grasping them as he tugged the man closer in despite of the door opening while Roach’s fists were curled around the fabric of the Lieutenant’s shirt, only one coming up to clasp at the uncovered skin that showed with the balaclava ridden up past Ghost’s nose. Soap wished he could say his heart broke into a million pieces at the sight, as deranged as it sounded, but it didn’t. Even as he saw how the men’s tongues glided over one another with their need for each other hardly hidden, the Sergeant could only feel his stomach curl wantonly, aching with something that could only be described as the anthesis of envy.While the world did slow down, it wasn’t because he was trapped in some loop he couldn’t escape.He didn’t want it to end.It was mortifying to say the least when his eyes met Roach’s, watching as the glint of recognition lit through them despite the hardly-there lighting. Soap didn’t have time to read into the man’s expression – though if he had, it would’ve seemed slightly embarrassed, though unashamed, even slightly glad that he’d seen Soap there – before swallowing thickly and turning around as Roach broke the kiss, hands over his eyes. He didn’t see that all eyes were on him, neither regretful that Soap had just walked in on the intimate moment, but he could feel them.“Sorry lads! Dinne see anything!” The Scot cried out, probably a bit too loud considering the time, but far enough from the rooms that it wouldn’t attract any attention. “Carry on, a'm gaen!” Heart hammering against his ribcage and blood rushing in his ears, Soap simply didn’t hear the soft call of his name before he left the room almost as quickly as he came in. He’d caught the sight of someone opening the communal area’s doors out the corner of his eye a split second before his own bedroom door opened, closing it with some sort of decorum before abandoning it to heave his back against the wood. With screwed shut eyes, the Sergeant dug the heels of his palms into his sockets in hopes that they would bring some sense into him, but it only gave a clear arena for the slight of his two friends grappling onto each other to replay as he almost whimpered at the memory, head tipping back instinctively as he braced himself with a wide stance against the door. Though it was better than the imposition of himself into the scenario – not as Roach as one might do when in love with the man opposite, but in between, wondering if Roach’s hands contrasted the feeling of Ghosts’, and how they would touch him together…Shock flooded the Scot’s system as he heaved himself off of the door, stepping further into his room. The shock itself was enough to withstand the pit of arousal that began to form.Denial was a strong thing, but only when you believed in it – and if his mind wouldn’t tell him the obvious, then his body did. He wasn’t in love with GhostHe was in love with Ghost and Roach.The two men he couldn’t have because they already had each other.  “My bottle’s in communal,” the pitiful complaint came after Soap had thrown himself face first into his bed, hoping to hide from his own mind.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It had been almost a week since Roach had seen Soap.At least, it’d been a week since the other Sergeant had actually spent time with him and wasn’t just seen when already engaged in some sort of activity or conversation.  It wasn’t hard to notice from day one, but it got increasingly hard to ignore as the days accumulated. Work dragged even with Gaz by his side, both men feeling almost out of sorts without Soap’s commentary, and without the man leaning over him to ‘be a right pain in the hole’ as the Scot would put it Roach had felt almost unmoored while patrolling or doing his paperwork.Though, perhaps not unsurprisingly, it was Ghost who verbalised the absence when they had both stepped into the sparring room. If he had been righty honest with himself, Roach felt somewhat guilty for feeling hurt after finding Soap standing next to some Lieutenant that he couldn’t place a name to, having the instinctive reaction since Soap had chosen to spend his free time spotting someone’s work out instead of spending time with him. Frowning at the two amongst the generous crowd of fellow soldiers, Roach almost jumped at his boyfriend’s voice. It was lower than his typical voice, almost threatening as he murmured a sarcastic “So he is alive,” and scoffing for good measure before turning away.Looking up to where Ghost had moved to wrap his wrists before going up to the punching bag that the man loved to toss around so much, Roach continued to frown; even with the mask, the tight knit between Ghost’s eyebrows was obvious. So it wasn’t just him - Soap was avoiding Ghost too. He shouldn't be happier knowing that.Not for the reason he was, at least.Refusing to dwell on the topic much longer, the shorter Sergeant found himself perching on one of the windowsills as he waited for a gap in the conversation before striking; ignoring the slight tingling of his butt cheek from his choice of seat, Roach manoeuvred his way through the few groups of soldiers before landing at Soap’s feet. Though he couldn’t help but find amusement in the little jump the Scot did upon seeing him, the slight downward turn of his brow returned at the shy chuckle, sounding like Soap had been caught doing something he shouldn’t. Looking between the two, Mr-no-name placed a hand between Soap's shoulder blades, nudging his head sideways; at first Roach had thought it an invitation, almost reaching out to stop Soap from leaving with him with a hand to his friend's wrist, but when the two Sergeants were left alone a moment later, it wasn't necessary. “You haven’t been in the recreational room much – or patrols. Is everything okay?” Thankfully, the communication had hidden the way his hand was slightly risen between them already.A bashful smile replaced the typically broad and cocky grin. Alarm bells were only quelled hearing the other man's tone “I’m fine, Bug.” Hearing the nickname sent a flutter in his stomach, though it did little to soothe over the worry that still sat in his gut. Luckily Soap seemed to catch on, expanding further: “Price’s got me by the balls – got me doing some research for the Mexico op. after I cocked up a demo. It was tha’ or bathroom duty.”The thought had Roach grimacing instantly, apparently obvious even with his mask covering the lower half of his face if Soap's laughter was any indication. The sound loosened Roach’s shoulders as he began to relax, the tension he'd unintentionally carried since Soap had come into view uncoiling slowly. It made sense - if anything was amiss, it was the fact that Soap only got intel work instead of something more dingy with Price's reputation of giving out the worst reprimands - and Roach did remember the day that he had soothed his hands over Johnny's spine, bringing him down from what seemed like a panic attack in waiting, while standing outside the Captain's office. “Do you want help?” Only on looking back would Roach realise there was worry in the baby blues he faced. “Ach, nah, I canne make you do that. Plus Price would wring both our necks if he found out.” Again, a fair assessment. Nodding, Roach understood, relishing in the gentle touch to his shoulder, as if the gentle hold made up for the avoidance. “I’ll make it up to ye after, yeah?” And, finally, a natural smile graced his lips at the offer, though faltering slightly once the Scot left, watching as he caught up to where the ginger Lieutenant had sauntered off to. The uneven smile at Soap's presence had Gary sucking in a breath as he stared for a moment too long, turning away so he didn't have to see the pair leave the gym. The only issue was the fact that Soap’s words were bullshit.--“Price gave him more work,” Roach signed, settling into the worn sofa in the rec room that solely belonged to the 141 – an unforeseen perk of the job - after one of the lads had asked where Johnny was "Probably some paperwork". Cradling the freshly brewed tea in his hands, Roach found himself cuddled against Ghost’s side; he didn’t know how they fell onto the topic of Johnny again, but it was common especially in the days he’d been absent.“Why?” “Why what?” Gaz turned, having been watching the TV in the reclining chair – unofficially dubbed ‘Price’s Chair’ – a bit away from the pair, latching onto Ghost's question since he hadn't seen Roach's signs.“Price gave Soap more work,” Ghost hummed, waiting“For the demolitions demonstration that went wrong – liked it more than toilet duty” he smiled and shrugged“That can’t be right,”Looking up to Ghost, the easy smile faded from Roach’s face “Why?”“’Cause I got him off toilet duty. Had to write a whole report ‘bout how the explosives were out of date.”“Were they?” Gaz asked.Ghost simply shrugged “Found one box that was – was good enough.”“I mean he can’t be doing much if he’s with Lieutenant Jones. Didn’t think he’d be Soap’s type if I’m honest.”Hands held on tighter to the heated ceramic.“What” “What”“Jones? Redhead, 6’2, trains the non SAS Privates?”
“At the gym?”
“That’s where I find ‘em,” Gaz shrugged “Been together whenever I go to the gym after our work hours. Seem pretty friendly.”Admittedly, Roach felt somewhat calmed as his boyfriend also seemed to want to storm away from Gaz’s encouraging smirk as he stole a glance at the TV – some football game he’d been watching when the couple had come in. How could he be so calm about that? About Soap possibly fraternising with some random Lieutenant? But that wasn't an argument which could hold up to scrutiny considering his own relationship. Not to mention that it wasn't fair to be annoyed at Gaz - after all, Roach had a very good idea why he and Ghost were more opposed to such an idea compared to their teammate.---When Gaz had retreated for the night, the game over, Roach’s tea was long gone but the topic from earlier didn’t leave his mind. Nor Ghosts’ it seemed.“Why’d he lie ‘bout that?” It wasn’t like he had to clarify what he meant.
“Maybe he’d think we’d be unsupportive?”
It was a dumb suggestion, but at least Ghost humoured him a bit by shrugging at the idea. Not like they were openly in a relationship with one another or anything. Though, even if he had shrugged, the Lieutenant’s chest still held the tension it hadn’t possessed until the topic of Soap’s supposed boy-toy came about.“So he forgets us?” the same scoff from earlier sounded in the dimly lit room. Even if the TV’s light didn’t make it easy to read the expressions hidden under the mask, Simon’s tells were glaringly obvious, just solidifying what Roach’s previously held belief – the same reason Soap’s absence was weighing abnormally heavy on him.Why the idea of Soap sneaking around with fuck-head Jones, the redhead’s hands sliding over the toned muscles as they helped each other work out, almost made Roach feel sick.There was no answer he could give to the question. So, instead, he turned to face Ghost and brushed his hand across the man’s cheek, allowing Roach to smile freely as he felt the man melt under the gentle touch, eyes fluttering shut as he leaned into his partner – a sense of calm washing over him. Ghost didn’t even know why it was affecting him so much. Soap must’ve had his reasons. But even if he did, that was a small consolation.Taking his hand away to sign, Simon opened his shut eyes instinctively. “Maybe he’s waiting until after the mission?”Humming, Ghost nodded, hoping it was the case. With an exhale, Ghost allowed himself to stop worrying for that moment – they’d have plenty of time on the mission to catch Soap at some point, talk it out and it’d be fine. Even if that rumour was true. “Yeah… what’d I do without you, Bug?”Thankful to find the uncertainty lessened on Ghost’s features, Roach grinned widely at the nickname, a flash of adoration filling his chest, curling comfortably around his lungs. “Overthink yourself into an early grave.”A chuckle filled the small space between them, into the seemingly decreasing space. “Maybe…”
“Definitely”
It wasn’t the best space – the doors were still open even if lights out was over an hour ago, and anyone could walk in to go out for a cigarette break – but Roach couldn’t stop his eyes dipping from the chocolate eyes, down to the covered lips and back up again. He could almost see the outline of the man’s lips, knowing where the scar cut across both top and bottom lip was placed, but still found his hands slowly coming up to slowly raise the black cotton to see it for himself. As the mask kissed Simon’s Adam’s apple, Gary’s fingers deliberately grazed over the cartilage and watched as it bobbed underneath his knuckles, continuing to let it rise until reaching the bridge of the man’s nose – Ghost’s hand gently circulating Roach's wrist as a silent sign to raise no higher.The Sergeant didn’t wait until the featherlight touch was removed before joining their lips in a kiss, almost sinking the remaining tension into his partner’s body, transferring it as Ghost gave it back in the form of deliberate hands that instinctively sunk to the younger man’s defined hips like they were his lifeline. It had started off chaste – lips parting and meeting in slow waves – but Gary couldn’t help himself. The workday had been keeping them apart, bone tired and weighted that they only had enough energy to fall into each other’s bed in the most literal sense. So when he separated the kiss, moving to deliberately slither his tongue across the scar on Ghost’s lips, jade eyes daringly maintaining eye contact as he felt Simon hold tighter, Gary had expected the rumble that shook beneath where his hands rested over Simon’s chest, but that didn’t mean that the sound didn’t cause the man’s head to fuzz pleasantly, lips falling open obediently to catch the bruising kiss which followed.Simon had a taste of blood and suddenly he was swimming towards it wantonly. Teeth bit down onto the plush lips of his partner, reigning him in as hands held his hips in place despite the jut forward, begging to move into Simon’s lap. Had he not been starving, maybe Ghost would have chuckled at the display, perhaps even teased at how pretty Gary looked when he was denied something he wanted, but he was starving with a renewed desire that only intensified with the wasted seconds spent needing to breathe. “I’ll take care of you,” he murmured lowly, diving in again, tongue desperate to have a taste of the man beside him – almost below him if Roach hadn’t met the kiss with same vigour, tongue passing over Simon’s messily. In the back of his mind, he could feel how their shared saliva wetted their lips.He could also feel it when the warmth of Gary’s lips left his own.“Sorry lads! Dinne see anything!” The familiar Scottish accent vibrated, causing the men’s attention to shift. Soap had been in his civvies – a t-shirt he’d likely wear underneath his uniform if it wasn’t just a tad too small and leaving a sliver of his hips uncovered where the grey sweatpants hung just below. While Gary had flushed, his face looked no more ashamed than it had moments before; Ghost, on the other hand, was only ashamed of his lack of shame. He wished he could have said it was because he simply didn’t care if someone walked in on him and his boyfriend making out on the sofa, but had it been Gaz or – god forbid – Price who had walked through that door, he wouldn’t be wondering how long they had been there for. Not for the reasons Ghost had. The thought that Soap hadn’t cried out when he first entered, but watched for lord knows how long, had Simon's temperature rising and blood flowing.God he was fucked.“Carry on, a'm gaen!” And with the final sound, the hands which had been placed over Soap’s eyes were reaching for the door.“Johnny,” he had begun, unsure what he was even going to say if the Scot decided to hear him out. Soap had made sure that wasn’t an issue as he all but ran, leaving his bottle the chair near the door. Looking to Roach who nodded encouragingly, Ghost sprung up, still clueless as to what he expected, only to see the Sergeant disappear.For a moment he just stood there, hoping to see Soap emerge from one of the connected hallways so he could at least ask where the fuck Soap had gotten off to and why – why did he run? why did he lie about not wanting to spend time with them?Roach’s hand appeared over Simon's own – the same one gripping the door handle – bringing him back to the present.
“Bed?”
Simon simply nodded. He needed it.That or three shots of whiskey.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Thinking about Gaz’s comment earlier that evening, Roach decided, while putting on one of Ghost’s shirts for bed, that “types” were… odd.It seemed to be a normal consideration for most – what hair do you like the most? Favourite eye colour? The attribute you like most in a partner? All rather bland and surface level questions when all things were considered. Someone could say their type was blonds and then end up with a redhead, or maybe they typically liked kind hearted characters who wore their hearts on their sleeves, but suddenly the stoic catches their eye. Truthfully, Roach knew that they weren’t limitations, but growing up he figured he was simply different to most; he opted to watch from the sidelines as his classmates fell in love and watched the fallout when the person they dated no longer fit their type. It happened with his friends as it did with his parents – a fall out that could have been avoided if they simply looked to see who was in front of them.-
“I love your mother,” his father had begun once, smiling sadly as he pealed the potato in his new home, freshly refurbished after the divorce was settled “But not like that. Not anymore.” If the conversation was about anything else, Roach would’ve smiled at how the occupied hands fought against the urge to sign along as he spoke. Instead, a pang of fear settled in his chest at the thought that one – or both – of his parents would forget how to read his signing with the split custody coming to an end once he enlisted. Fears were calmed slightly as his father didn’t hesitate to look Gary’s way to see if his son had a response.

“What does that mean?”

The teen had signed. Despite it only being him and his father, the place was unchartered territory, activating his vocal block. Thankfully his father had understood.

“We thought we would work, but we weren’t each other’s type anymore. Never really were, son… It happens sometimes.” The man shrugged as if that made any more sense than remaining silent on the topic when his son brought it up. But Gary had somewhat known, which was the very reason Roach believed ‘types’ would never apply to him; what made his father’s response sadder was the fact that he used to swear by his and his now-ex-wife’s ‘love story’ – love at first sight, exactly each other’s type – just to realise they never knew each other at all.
-The memory was one which he had tossed over and over after it had happened. He’d wondered if the fact that he had a less than fruitful love life while growing up (and that he was less than willing to shit where he ate during his early military career) played into the fact that, even in his 30s, Roach couldn’t pinpoint his type. If asked, he’d simply point to his boyfriend, a smile behind his mask that only few people picked up on.It used to only be Ghost, but he had been warned about Sergeant Soap MacTavish’s oddly accurate body reading skills.It shouldn’t have shocked him, then, that Soap was able to notice the rise of his fellow Sergeant’s cheeks as they rose with a smile, even when he wore his goggles that covered the majority of his face. He shouldn’t have been so taken back – mesmerised – by Johnny’s beaming grin when he realised Roach’s smile was because of him, flipping Ghost off as the Scot looped an arm across his shoulders, saying something about ‘got one of ye smilin’, ye mourngey fuck’ as Simon hid his own upturned lips while brewing his tea in the kitchen adjacent.Even then, as the couple settled into Ghost’s bed, Roach could almost feel the phantom weight of Soap’s body alongside the Lieutenant’s – his boyfriend’s muscled chest actually being against his own. “D’you have a type, Si?” He murmured into the darkness, Lights Out long passed, face buried against the Lieutenant’s shoulder.“Types are bullshit, Roach,” Ghost murmured gruffly without questioning where the question had come from. But something told Roach that the other man was thinking about it despite the definitive phrasing. It was like he could hear the cogs in Simon’s mind turn, but even knowing Simon as wholeheartedly as he did, Roach had to peer up in hopes of seeing something that would hint at what was going on in his mind. Despite the darkness, it was clear to see that Simon wasn’t too used to honing in his facial expressions – his mask did most of the work for him in public, but without it Roach was privy to seeing the silent debate take place.“What?”“Hm?” Opening his eyes, Ghost looked down, meeting the other’s open and inquisitive gaze. Roach silently wondered if Soap could help him decipher if Ghost truly was as clueless as he presented sometimes, or if he liked making them work the answers out of him. Needless to say, Soap was the more active one of the two Sergeants in his attempts. Lifting the hand which wasn’t against the mattress, Gary gently tapped Simon’s forehead, silently asking what’re you thinking about?It was gentle, teasing even, so it was slightly bewildering to feel the cold air of the night kiss his warm skin when Ghost moved to hook his legs over the bed, back now facing his boyfriend without a word. Did he say something wrong? Shuffling up the bed slightly, Roach opened his mouth to speak but he should have known from the uncomfortable feeling in his gut that his voice would fail him. Fucking hell, now?!It was a useless reaction to the selective mutism – it wasn’t like it was new – but by god did it choose the worst times to come about. With a lack of words, Roach opted to reaching out, hand splayed against Simon’s back, thumb brushing over some of the uncoordinated scars under his fingertips while waiting for some sort of response. Mentally, Roach traced the scars he knew well, trying to catalogue any new dents as the silence continued, letting the older man take the time he needed.“… I think I have a type,” the murmur came, sounding as if the words were a confession to a priest, asking for forgiveness for some sort of undisclosed but implied transgression that was lost on Roach. As Gary wrapped his arms around the other, humming, hoping that it’d be elaborated on, Simon simply dropped his head in his hands as he fought off the pooling sink hole that was his stomach. Surely it was obvious what he was trying to say, so why couldn’t Roach just know? It was an impossible request to have, yes, but how could he say what he was thinking? Ghost felt juvenile in his not so explanation already.How could Ghost break the perfection that the two had created together by stating that his type seemed to be Sergeants who teamed up against him, who liked to put the Lieutenant in his place, who looked like their eyes held the world in them when they looked at him, at each other? It wasn’t something you could just say to your years long partner, was it? That you had deep, unwavering feelings for someone else while madly in love with them, certain that – if nothing else – the person you were crushing on had a crush on them.Fuck, why was it so complicated?Still, the idea of types was still relatively stupid in his mind – after all, Johnny and Gary had many differences. Johnny was loud and active, the dog that would lean over to demand attention only to captivate every person he came into contact with. Johnny was like the explosives he toyed with, kissing death with every deft touch of the wires, knowing how to make Simon tick on the brink of exploding, but also knowing how to defuse him enough that Simon never got the relief that came with the implosion. He was one misplaced word from shoving the man against the nearest wall at any given moment. Johnny was the sun amongst Simon’s moon, and he was jealous that Soap was able to be adored by all and not by himself.Gary was the cat that made people fall in love with every cat in existence by just being himself, even if someone was religiously a dog person before meeting him. Without trying, he walked circles around Simon with ease, having the older man on a string, turning before feeling the feline pounce on his back and nuzzle his head against his own. The familiarity bred the same fire that had Simon wishing he never had to let the man go, and his partner used it to bring him to his knees without fail.The stars amongst his moon – for him to worship, selfishly hoping no one could see what he could in fear that Gary would realise that he deserved better than Simon.He hated the thought that someone else would realise how perfect Roach was – all except one. Seeing the lingering gazes between the Sergeants should have Ghost’s jealousy dialled up to 11 – lord knows he had a possessive streak when it came to those he loved – and yet…Those differences were the reasons it was hard – if they were the same, he wouldn’t find himself screaming bloody murder in his head when a random bar goer danced dangerously close to the line which separated friendly and flirting when Soap approached the bar. Nor would he have to hold back the desire to draw blood of soldiers that had no idea who the fuck they were trying to get with since apparently word hadn’t gotten around about Roach and Ghost’s relationship until a few weeks in – a surprising feat considering the bouts of gossip Ghost heard daily without desire to know any of it. If they were the same, he wouldn’t ache for both.As if he deserved either of them.Moments dragged into minutes before Roach shuffled off the bed, only turning back around when the room was illuminated with the faint light of the desk lamp, able to catch Ghost uncovering his face to leave Simon bare. The brown eyes looked suddenly worn and the tension was visible in the broad shoulders, tangible as the Sergeant’s hand lightly pushed them just enough so he could sit on his partner’s lap.One hand moved the odd loose strand of hair from Simon’s forehead, the blond locks becoming less uniform thanks to the shower he’d had that evening. Of course the nerves ate at the base of Roach’s stomach, creating a flurry as he watched the light warm the other man’s skin, but someone had to come clean. “It’s Johnny isn’t it?”Cliché as it may be, the world stopped. Rising like bile, the shame shrouded the Lieutenant as he crouched forward with the force of it all. “I’m sorry,” Ghost sucked in a breath, moving forward to bury his face against Roach’s chest ‘I’m so fucking sorry, Gary,” the words fell like an avalanche of anguish, hands moving over the shorter man as if he was in the company of the holy grail – reverent, ready for it to be ripped from his undeserving hands, but daring to steal what should be his final touches. He wanted to grip tightly so he wouldn’t leave, but the rational side of Simon knew that wasn’t fair – he couldn’t expect Roach to want to feel his touch. So, he slowly smoothed over the Sergeant’s thigh while he could. Ghost had almost pulled away at the shock of feeling Gary’s hand over his own a second later, looking up to be met with a smile while his own expression melted from remorse to confusion.
“Me too”

What

“… What?”“Me too!” The fast hands were matched a barely contained smile which showed more than happiness – perhaps … relief? Despite himself – despite all of the questions that wracked around in his head – Simon felt his own smile pull at his lips with the plethora of emotions being unearthed. Whatever the fuck this all meant, the weight of shame was easing as his boyfriend sat excitedly in his lap, confessing his feelings for their teammate as if they were teenagers talking about crushes at a sleepover.Fuck, that’s exactly what they were doing, wasn’t it?This time, Ghost’s head fell forward to hide the grin that was starting to form, completely forgetting that Gary would be able to feel it against his chest. He only looked up so he would be able to see any reactions.“Is this even allowed?” Ghost asked tentativelyA shrug“Very helpful lov- ach!” The sarcastic comment had been cut off with a gentle flick against the Brit’s forehead.“Why wouldn’t it be?’Well, they were a couple. It was even in the name – a couple – two people. It was how the whole world told him love was supposed to be, and he loved Roach – adored the very ground the man walked on as if following him would lead him to Nirvana – but he felt the very same about Soap over their time in the 141. Simon knew how these feelings manifested – they wouldn’t leave him – lord knows he tried to refuse himself the privilege of being loved by Gary long enough to know that. Situations like these were always portrayed like north and south with two diametrically opposed forces dragging the person in the middle one way, but it didn’t feel like that way with his Sergeants.Sitting up right, Ghost looked into Gary’s eyes again, finding them shining with something that he couldn’t place, yet it still made his heart leap at the sight.His Sergeants… he could get used to that“And Lieutenant Jones?”  Ghost finally understood why he had hated the thought so intensely when talking with Gaz. The relief in the room shifted, the bright green eyes changing to a rarer sight – one that Ghost could possibly argue was jealousy – before it disappeared. Roach was good at hiding emotions if they weren’t staring him in the face, but he had seen it.
“Might not be true.”
“How’d we know?”…
“Mexico.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

In the days following the talk, Ghost became increasingly grateful that Roach suggested they both try and get Soap to talk to them (for more than a rushed and flustered ten seconds) in Mexico instead of on base only because the Scot was as allusive as ever – maybe even more so than before. It went unsaid that Soap’s mysterious ability to disappear was not only scary but bordering on infuriating; whenever there was a peak of a mohawk or a Scottish lilt amongst the various and vast English accents, it would vanish the moment that either of the two men could try and scout it out.At first, he had thought he was going insane, ready to admit that his own want to find Soap before the mission was overriding his ability to separate fiction from reality, but once he caught Roach’s weaving body, leaning to catch a glimpse of the other Sergeant, it became clear that Soap was just as good at hiding as being centre of attention. Before, Ghost could rely on the fact that he felt compelled to keep his frustration to himself, even trying to do so as they passed the time, but what he hadn’t relied on was seeing the same feeling etch itself into Roach’s actions, watching as it bled into disappointment with downcast jade eyes having their moment of despondency before returning back to normal in the space of a deep breath. The moment they got whatever the truth was from Johnny, Ghost knew that he’d chew him out for shutting them out – it fucking hurt in its own right, but watching Gary go through waves of hope just to crash against the shore was like acid thrown into an open wound.It wasn’t fair to think it, but there was no denying that if the truth surrounded a hidden relationship with some random Lieutenant that Soap didn’t even have the balls to bring up to the couple despite spending countless hours – weeks, months – together, Ghost knew that he’d be lucky to leave the encounter without saying something stupid. It was his natural reaction: let them get hurt by him before he could get hurt himself, and hope they leave before they ever got a chance at getting under his skin and getting hurt somehow else. Roach always said that Simon’s personal pitfalls was his avoidance. He thought that if he could push away all those who thought he was worth knowing then Simon would be sparing them from any pain the world would throw their way. As if Simon was the master of destruction and Ghost sealing the man behind emotional walls would be enough to stop the hands of fate from weaving the stories of the people he loved.Avoidant and obtuse to romantic feelings – it was something Simon knew well.The thought was enough for Ghost to huff a small laugh as he rested his chin on Roach’s head while the pair watched the sun start to set across the secluded part of the empty yard.
“What?”
“Jus’ thinking.”
“Simon…”
With a roll of his eyes, playful in nature, Ghost could only look down as Roach looked up at him from where he had been leaning his back against the Lieutenant’s chest. “You like avoidant men,” he said simply, looking back at the purpling sky. Even though the mask covered it, he still did his best to not smirk at the nonverbal splutter as the younger man’s mouth gaped open and closed only to open once more, as if he was going to argue, but nothing came. Roach simply huffed and resumed resting against his boyfriend’s body, though leaning back with a bit more effort than necessary. If Ghost was a lither man, he would’ve easily been winded from the action.“At least you’d give me your bullshit excuse up front,” the small comment came after a moment or two of thinking. Ghost simply hummed at that, not having much to say. It was true, of course – Simon has tried to be aloof during their recruitment days, but that in itself meant he had to pretend to not be effected by the other soldier and couldn’t hide away. It all ended up with Simon cornering the much shorter man against some training equipment, ranting and raving over how Roach was making a mistake and wasn’t as smart as Ghost thought he was if he was truly trying to get with him. Gary, in all of his confidence, only latched onto the fact that Ghost thought he was smart, asking if he had any more compliments for him.To that very day, even if Roach asked in that second, Ghost would’ve said the following response were actions of a less seasoned soldier, even if they were only a few years ago. Still, he didn’t regret how he pulled Gary into himself, away from the equipment, telling him that he was too curious, denying Roach’s chimes of how it sounded like a critique before finally letting his self-denial come to an end with a night together that grew from there. And, of course, it was Roach who had to make whatever they had official – it was almost redeeming how it had been Ghost who was vulnerable when admitting his conflicting feelings for their teammate.The contemplation was brought to an end with a slight scuffle of feet that had the couple moving so their shoulders were side by side. While they felt more than comfortable in expressing affection in front of the 141, knowing that Price wouldn’t give a fuck from the very start and their titles as members of the Task Force gave them unique freedoms, there was something unsaid about trying not to be too obvious when around members of the military outside of their team.Not that the two who were leaving the mess hall had the same consideration. Ghost rolled his eyes at the pair - probably some Privates unwilling to risk being seen sneaking into each other’s rooms to be alone, instead using the yard as their reprieve. The thought alone was enough for Ghost to make a move to go inside himself, though opting to not go through the door the couple came from. He’d only turned 45 degrees before Roach’s hand grasped his wrist, causing him to look down, confusion written in his eyes, until a finger pointed towards the sound of still moving feet and redirecting Ghost’s attention to the pair of not horny Privates.The hand opposite the one still around his wrist rested against Simon’s abdomen and subsequently halted the step he had taken toward where Soap and Jones were huddled together. Thankfully, the two were not rushing for some quick thrill against the brick walls as had been supposed, but everything about the redhead’s demeanour and tune didn’t indicate he’d want anything less from the Sergeant who stood under his arm.---The arm launched over Soap’s shoulders was, oddly, not uncomfortable, and even pulled a smile at the contact - albeit nervously. It wasn’t George’s fault that he wasn’t one of the two whom Soap wished were around him, knowing that was his own fault that he hadn’t seen the pair since the Rec Room Incident, but despite his semi-honesty regarding the fact that he was in a rough position romantically-speaking, it didn’t deter Lieutenant Jones from sticking beside him. Truthfully, Soap had been in the military way too long to not get the hint – a quick fuck, reoccurring or not, was the aim of the game. Though, the possibility of a warm bed didn’t seem to be the only reason that the Lieutenant kept him around, and that was more than he could say for most people in their positions.“You know,” the redhead grinned, looking out at the empty yard before down to Soap “Garrick wasn't lying, you became a hoover.”“Ah fuck up,” the Scot snorted around a chuckle, knowing that if he thought too much about the food he’d literally just scarfed down thanks to the delightful table conversation, he wouldn’t be able to ignore how his stomach ached slightly “Don’t throw me unless y’ wanna see me boke.”“Shame – was lookin’ forward to it.”“Aye, I bet y’ were.” With an amused raised brow and a light-hearted smirk, Soap looked at George from the corner of his eye, earning a bout of laughter. Shameless was what Jones was, but it wasn’t the worst thing. Soap was a man with very little good coping skills and he was well aware of the fact; the best thing about him was his self-awareness, though it was proving to be a right pain in the arse in this instance. While he liked the idea of a distraction from flurrying emotions and the stress from being light on the ground to avoid any unnecessary contact between him and the 141’s resident couple, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t accept the unsaid offer any more than he could lean into the man’s touch with a clear conscience. Not only did Soap already know he would feel awful after the act, but even if there was momentary reprieve while in Jones’ bed, the idea of being lost in the moment with his mind on autopilot was more unwelcome than he originally thought - at least with the circumstances Soap found himself in.  Lost in his own moral dilemma, the Scot hadn’t realised that the Lieutenant shifted his position slightly, only realising when the arm moved from around his shoulders so the hand could touch the side of Soap’s stubbled jaw. “Johnny-““John,” the correction came quickly. Soap hadn’t even thought about it.“What?”“It’s just John, no one calls me Johnny-““Except Lieutenant Riley?” The words were – more or less – stolen from his mouth.“Except Ghost and Roach, yeah”Taking a second to think, Lieutenant Jones paused before asking “How come?”“Just do,” Soap raised his shoulders in a non-committal shrug, noticing how the addition of Roach seemed to cause a bit of confusion which wasn’t too surprising; unless Jones knew BSL then he wouldn’t have had a clue what Roach and he spoke about during their conversation in the gym – or at any other point.“So, no one else uses it?” It didn’t take a genius to know what was being implied there. What he was really being asked was can no one else use it? – and no matter the conditions between himself, Ghost and Roach, Johnny wouldn’t be giving that privilege away.Once again, the hand on Soap’s jaw brushed over the skin as he shook his head in response “No problem, I can think of loads of better things to call you.” The sentiment alone nearly had Soap recoiling in disgust at the choice of words – better?. Johnny felt real – easy and casual, but meant more than any lame ‘babe’ the redhead would pull out of his arse could. The rational side of himself told the rest of Soap that he was being stupid, it was obvious that George hadn’t meant it in that way, but the tug on his stomach wouldn’t ease up. It was his saving grace.“Ye know, I dinne think you can.” The response came out flatly without intending to, once again earning cocked head with Jones’ confusion displayed plainly. Patting Jones’ chest despondently, the Sergeant turned away so he could leave the way they had entered the yard. Something about the conversation turned the mood sour. “Catch you later, Lieutenant,” the final call coming with Soap already entering the building.---From the very start, Jones’ hand placement had Roach on the edge of his metaphorical seat as he waited for the man to do something. The intention was written on his face – his eyes mostly. Even without the practice of finding Simon beneath Ghost’s mask, Roach was rather good at reading someone’s features with the bare minimum given. In this case, the redhead had his whole face uncovered, but they were at a distance which made it slightly harder to decipher compared to being up close. Sadly, they weren’t far enough to not hear the pair’s conversation, though with the man beside him taking deep measured breaths, the attempts to figure out what was going on was almost aborted due to the effort. Roach had been a second away from giving his boyfriend a pointed look but decided it was for the best that he continued; no one needed a pissed off Ghost storming over there without thinking. It seemed that, after the initial displeasure of seeing the two together, Simon began to calm somewhat.The duo seemed to be joking and generally enjoying one another’s company and, that in itself, made Roach feel bad for hating the sight; he loved seeing Soap laugh along with Gaz and teasing Price (knowing he could get away with literal unsanctioned murder with their Captain), but the sight before them was enough for the Sergeant to focus his eyes on the pair, waiting like a predator for its prey to make the wrong move. Of course, it wasn’t a matter of if but when – Soap was an attractive and funny guy, anyone would (and many people did) want the Scot in any form they could have him. The issue was that those people were often rookies with no real connection to the man beyond drills or seeing Soap around base – Jones was neither a Private nor a stranger. It didn’t help that it seemed that Lieutenant Jones’ intentions were plain enough for Gaz to pick up on the possibility of him and Johnny having something going on.Roach simply refused to entertain the idea and especially did not question what that something was. No answer beyond ‘nothing is going on’ would let him relax.While watching the whole interaction with tunnel vision, Roach only was aware that Ghost hadn’t taken his leave away from the situation as he felt the muscles under the man’s shirt shift, tensing. Admittedly, Ghost may have been shocked back into the present by the hand on his abdomen that tensed as they watched the situation unfold. Roach’s fingers were just shy of gripping as the redhead slipped his arm from around Soap’s shoulders to touch the brunet’s face. Anger simmered at the action, yet his blood curdled upon hearing ‘Johnny’ come from anyone that wasn’t Ghost or himself. The only saving grace was just how quickly Soap put that to rest from what Roach could hear, straining his ears from where they stood, not hidden but not out in the open as they had the shade that helped the couple blend into nothingness to the untrained eye.The situation didn’t allow Roach nor Ghost to act; if the setting had been different and the circumstances around what Johnny and Jones’ relationship was, neither of the couple would be standing and watching. But they had no other option. He could only guess what Simon would do, but Gary knew he’d throw the slow and steady plan to the wind without a second thought if it meant stopping whatever the fuck was going on in front of them. Just the thought of Soap not being in his own bed that night was almost enough to answer the call to stride across the yard, but Gary knew that neither he, nor Simon, could make themselves known if they wanted a genuine answer to the question before the mission the next morning. The sturdy gaze hardened as the nausea inducing flirt left Jones’ mouth, eyes flickering quickly to Ghost to see that it wasn’t the Mancunian’s eyes which showed his anger, but the balled fists which lay at his side, one hand coming up to rest over Roach’s spread hand in an attempt to ground himself to the spot while waiting for Soap’s response. And, in his opinion, the wait was worth it.“Ye know, I dinne think you can.” The Scottish tone was different, but Roach couldn’t name how, but the lack of teasing edge was enough for the tense fingers to melt against Ghost’s stomach while watching the scene unfold in front of them both. For once, Roach didn’t care if it was selfish to feel vindicated as the man left on the yard looked bewildered, only able to watch as Soap entered the Mess hall, away from him.Caught up in the feeling, Roach felt himself jump a bit at the unprompted rumble of Ghost’s voice. Upon looking up, he could still see the emotions that wouldn’t pass so quickly, lingering in the brown eyes which looked for Roach’s reply. “Mexico?”“Definitely. Mexico.”Come hell or high water, they’d have Johnny talk to them. They were working with Shadow Company as their allies, so time was going to be on their side for once and he’d be damned if they’d miss this opportunity.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Time was, in fact, not on their side.Not for Ghost or Soap at least.From the very beginning there was a sense of trepidation flowing through the Scots veins, but he refused to think too much about it. When he had felt the acidic burn as he woke up, it was put down to the realisation this was his last few moments of being able to run from his issues, even if he was planning to use the mission to ‘keep things tactical’. When he looked at Price with a bewildered stare as Roach was reassigned to the Captain’s and Gaz’s mission with Laswell, he only felt worried because the mission must have been more complicated than his own and was concerned about Roach’s safety – as any good teammate would. But seeing Ghost and Roach find comfort in one another a moment before being forced to separate on the tarmac set Soap’s whole stomach on fire and it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe through the smoke. Being face to face with what he was running from was like a car crash; he was well aware that looking would hurt, but he couldn’t look away from the couple.It was like it was choreographed and Soap was certain that could almost hear the orchestra in the background play the tearjerking score as his eyes zoomed in on the touches that could be seen from the precarious position – his own personal cameraman. Maybe it was easier to see it that way: like a scene from a movie. To see it beyond the pattern of heartache and, instead, as something Soap couldn’t control the narrative of. Surely fate had his future lined up for him and this was all some sort of test before the person he was meant to be with would show up and prove that he was right for avoiding two of the most important people in his life for days on end – that he was doing the right thing for once as he hoped to stave off any sort of emotion that could come. This was all character building towards Soap’s happily ever after.It just…It didn’t feel like it was something to look forward to.But thinking of it like a movie did make it easier as the Sergeant watched on from the corner amongst other soldiers who were being assigned every which way. As busy bodies swarmed around different vehicles, he stayed put as the unsaid PDA rule was thrown out the window; Ghosts’ hands were almost restless as muscle movement indicated the sniper’s thumbs were moving against his partner’s body while Roach looked up, his back facing where Soap was standing. Even in his position he knew that the look in Roach’s eyes wouldn’t be filled with anything less than adoration, possibly with some of his own fear muddled beneath the shining green. It’d been a while since Soap had seen them up close, but he remembered them even when the base’s gym lighting didn’t do them any justice; he knew how they were too bright to be amber and too kind to be emeralds, though in that moment they’d be more precious than any stone. Had it not been the conditions he was watching the them maybe he would’ve allowed himself to break this game of tag he had set up to wish Roach good luck. But he didn’t.Of course, he didn’t.Instead, Soap planted his feet on the ground as his eyes drifted over the pair, unsure if it was scarier if the two men realised that they were being observed or not. Would he be seen as a freak for watching? Judgemental? After the communal area incident and subsequent avoidance, Soap almost worried that the two would think that he roamed the halls so he wouldn’t be forced to see the couple or their glances, their smiles hidden by their respective face coverings, or how they deliberately do normal actions in a way which allowed a lingering touch to pass between them. It should’ve been unnoticeable, but Soap saw them all. A mental snort sounded at the momentary fear of the couple thinking he was homophobic if they ever noticed his sudden attention to detail; after all, Soap was no virginal saint so, while it was unlikely that it was spread around, one simple comment to the right person would have blown that concern out of the water. But still, the hilarity of the thought transported the Sergeant away from the moment, letting himself bask in the unusually rare instance where his brain wasn’t screaming at him so he could snort at himself, but the sight when he zoned back in instantly quenched the smile. Ghost had to lean down to press his forehead against Roach’s, and Roach’s hand delicately brushed under the skull mask’s eye hole in return, likely sharing some final parting words before the mission.Soap hated how it made his stomach churn.As much of a masochist as he had been as of recent, the Scot finally turned away from the scene with the phantom burning sensation on his cheek and ghosting hands on his hips guide him toward the helicopter. The guilt of not saying goodbye to Roach was eating at him from the first step, but when the call came for all to board or to be left behind rang across the area and Soap saw the couple still speaking down at the other end with only the very last few scattering Privates and the base crew around them, the guilt sank away slowly. Even as he turned away as the pair broke apart and entered the aircraft’s interior, Soap felt right for letting them be. They needed that time together; even if they would be both fine (which they would, he strongly reminded himself), the uncertainty always had soldiers crossing their fingers and leaving nothing unsaid before being sent out. It seemed that Soap was one of the few who would break this tradition. Once they all came back from a mission well done, maybe with a scratch here and there, it would all start again, and he would be happy that he didn’t say anything.Maybe if he apologised for his bitchy behaviour, he could take Lt Jones up on his one-night stand offer. Did his behaviour shine a light to his feelings towards the men? George did know about Soap’s uncomfortable romantic situation in the vaguest sense – would Jones even want to see him knowing that Ghost and Roach were, in essence, his competition? If he had a brain at all, Jones would know it wasn’t really a competition, but a man thinking with his dick often had illusions of grandeur. Possibly it could work favourably, if not because of Roach then because it was Ghost – everyone loves a way to one up the Ghost and even if he didn’t know of the competition, the idea of having what the imposing Lieutenant couldn’t was an ego booster for anyone.The issue was that he could – he could have Johnny – if life was different, the same being said for Roach, and despite there being two different possibilities where Soap could be happy, he was shoehorned into instances where he constantly second best. Or not a consideration at all. It was almost funny at that point because he couldn’t not pity the fuck out of himself about his relationship troubles while settling into his seat on an aircraft filled with other special ops on one of the most important missions he’s been assigned thus far.“Not scared already ‘re you?”Suddenly ice water was coming crashing over the Sergeant’s hunched form, back rigid as the hands which had covered his face moved themselves to dangle between his legs, elbows still resting on his knees. Now or never, he supposed. With an unimpressed scoff, the Scot leaned back into his seat as Ghost sat in his own. “Piss off,” he murmured with a joking tone.“Watch it, Sergeant.” Despite the words, Soap could only look to his right out the corner of his eyes and do his best to not smile.“Aye, sorry sir,” he murmured, somehow not hidden beneath the sounds of the aircraft and men enough for Ghost to react with his own eyes meeting Soap halfway “I’ll remember my place.”The sentiment earned a knee knocking against the younger man’s own“That’s a good lad.”Steaming Jesus. It’ll be a long flight if they kept it up.----Whether luckily or unluckily, the conversation ended after that, thankfully into a comfortable silence though they both could something there – unsaid but unwilling to ruin whatever was going on. Soap didn’t dare press, knowing that his own fears around Roach’s reassignment would undoubtedly come up and neither man needed to be put on edge with the wonder of ‘what if’ so close to a mission which needed focused mindsets. The pressing nature of their jobs had always been a welcomed change to monotony for most – no sane man would enter a profession in the army if a cosy office job would do them just fine; no one risked their lives in the way the military made them do if they wouldn’t prefer a bullet to the jugular instead of a 9-5. The demand of the job was what made the ability to actually talk to Ghost so much easier than when they were on base. Even if he hated to admit it, Soap realised then that he couldn’t have Ghost and Roach in the same place and feel at ease – mission or not; if they had all been assigned together, Soap wasn’t naïve enough to think he’d be able to get over himself that quickly.At least their mutual understanding permitted Soap time to think before entering a hostile environment, flittering thoughts of home, base, just mundane things to stave the memory of the past week from his mind. Should he go see his family soon? Take some leave? He already had some signed off for Fiona’s wedding, but that was seven, no, eight months away. Of course, he was being kind, assuming he wouldn’t end up at the other end of a headshot or otherwise fatal attack on the mission lined up for him, but if there was any time to be optimistic it would be for his own sister’s wedding, right?Mindlessly watching as the red glow of the aircraft doused Ghost, saturating the black uniform, Soap followed the Lieutenant’s movements from the corner of his eye. They were far and few in-between, but unlike Soap’s own drumming fingers, there was an apprehension behind the methodical mental inventory taking and slight manoeuvring of the gun between the man’s thighs – for what for was a mystery as the angle made it impossible to see anything but the silhouette of the Brit, but he knew Ghost well enough to know that the routine checks were unnecessary. While Soap was doing his best to ignore the world outside, it seemed Ghost couldn’t do the same, but who could blame him? Professionally, he’s down a man with great amounts of knowledge and is co-leading the force against Hassan – arguably the largest mission they’ll be put on.As a man, he was about to enter a situation with people wanting him dead, his partner a million miles away and was forced to have these worries while his Sergeant had been so light on the ground that it must’ve been a miracle to see that Soap was still alive. Suddenly the weight of his avoidance went beyond themselves; face of men younger than Soap stuck out the most as they desperately tried to not fidget, and some – he knew well enough – would not come out of this alive. Hell, the soldier sitting across from him looked as if he was standing in front of his parents trying to not look scared while being yelled at – he looked no more than 17 in that moment, though Soap knew the soldier was well into his army career. By limiting his access to Ghost, Soap became the chisel in the headstone for men like that.Fuck he had to get over himself.The 141 members were mere inches apart – Ghost was right there and still Soap felt like he was a million miles away, all at a fault of his own creation. He could lean out to touch if he wanted. Just if he leaned ever so slightly…It was sod’s law that the moment he sat forward, Ghost decided to stand and dodged the hand he couldn’t even see coming. For moment Soap had flirted with the thought that maybe the Brit had seen the action – that somehow by giving him and Roach space, Soap had fucked something up between them – and he just as quickly felt stupid for assuming the worst as the Lieutenant made his way down the line of the aircraft.“Bravo team offloads here,” the voice carried easily in the relatively small space, boots thumbing against the reinforced metal “Alpha team stays on board to land downrange. Both teams met in the middle.” The sound of flipped goggles played as an undercurrent to Ghost’s instructions as the man made his way back to the opening hatch of the helicopter, surveying the men they would both be in charge of “Remember, we want Hassan alive, but this is capture or kill.”The final words rung out as finality. There was only one reason to not shoot on sight – Hassan was invaluable and they all knew it. An unsaid Don’t fuck this up was understood as they waited for the all clear and, once given, immediately all of the relevant men stood, filing out dutifully. Soap, on the other hand, looked across to the still seated man and paused for a split second, hand raised in a loose fist. The soldier hit it back with his own in a silent wish of good luck. As quick as it started, the moment of camaraderie was over, ended as the Sergeant made his way up the craft again, though shocked to find the illuminated red lights bounce off of Ghost’s mask waiting for him, shielding the eyes which Soap could feel watching him as they met at the end.“Keep up Soap.”He didn’t need to be told twice.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Go and watch Wales live

Go to Amsterdam

Go skydiving

Get Johnny to help drag Simon to a coffee place near base

Get promoted

Retire happy

Take Simon to the aquarium

Watch the film Johnny recommended

Sort this shit out 
After all that he’s gone through on the mission so far, something compelled Roach to remove the Amsterdam goal.It only served as a stark reminder of how he used to want to live his life to the fullest – dangerously – so that he saw and did everything, but – by god – how he wished to do the mundane. There was no want to ship off from the military, and it wasn’t that he was resentful of it, but making a list of what to do before you die with action-packed stuff before going into the army is easy. Maintaining that lust for risky situations after? Not so much. Now dreams consisted of some sort of cosy home that had a garden, a cottage of some sort maybe – something much different from the joint living space that acted as an expensive storage container for Ghost and himself. They’d have to exchange their double bed for a king – it’d still be snug if three bodies were there instead of two.Optimist much Ghost’s own gentle chide rang in his mind, the same way it did when Roach had been so sure that he could find Soap and talk to him. That time Ghost’s defeatism won against hope, but this time he’d persevere – just like when the couple had the most childish argument that ended with the silent treatment and Roach climbing their counter so he didn’t have to ask for his partner’s help to reach the back of the top shelf.   Even in the middle of Urzikstan, with cars filing out below the helicopter where Gaz and himself were stationed, his mind momentarily wandered, finding a sense of peace in the few moments of quiet they had. Maybe it was selfish considering what they were there to do – the higher the risk, the more scared you are to lose what you love, Roach remembered one of his CO’s telling him in his rookie days, holed up with his Lieutenant after a mission gone wrong. When you’ve seen what I have, you’ll regret it the same way I do. Back then, he didn’t understand – how could fighting more make you more regretful? He didn’t realise that extended beyond the realities of war, seeping into personal lives. While doubting, Roach never asked what he meant by that, but saw the pictures of two little girls in his locket which the Lieutenant kept close to his heart; he even saw the ring that hid beneath the older man’s tactical gloves which was kissed every night.A pang snapped in his chest at the memory, knowing how the same man never got home to see those he loved after that mission.Trying to ignore what he, himself, would regret had he been the one kidnapped, Roach tuned into the helicopter’s blades which filled the otherwise relatively quiet quarters with the heartbeat of their mission, faintly able to hear the static of Price, Farah and Nik accompanying them as they passed around comments about the mission and confirmations. The only thing which fought off the anticipatory jitter was the gun which weighed in Roach’s hands as his fellow Sergeant took a step forward to look at the view below. Passively Roach watched as Gaz leaned, careful as his hand held on, allowing the smaller Sergeant to have a moment in his own mind, flittering to hopes of a safer mission for Ghost and Soap compared to this, but it was the very thought of either one being in Kate’s position which shocked Roach from his mind and into the moment. But as he came to, and the world around him wasn’t just observed but seen, the careful hand looked taunt as Gaz looked intently below, as if he was attempting to spot Kate on the back of a truck despite knowing better.“What car is she in?” Gaz cut in between the short back and forth between the two older men, stopping Roach’s movement forward. Gaz already confirmed what he knew was true – it was easy to see the way the baby blue shirt was stretched as Gaz tensed, or how his gaze never seemed to leave the area below them. Moving forward still, he listened on as Farah and Price detailed the car and warnings regarding their fire, taking the moment to look over his own firearm before aligning his shot.Close, but not enough, Roach noted.Waiting for the moment, the two Sergeants leaned against the internal body of the helicopter while Nik carefully swerved closer and finally spoke the words he was sure both he and Gaz were itching for: “Captain, we are in range.”With a slight hoist, Roach peered down the scope, steadying his aim the best he could while being gently swayed by the moving aircraft.“All stations, weapons free.”The first shot was instantaneous – so much that it almost threw Roach in a spin as he was able to spare a second-long glance to his left to see the gun’s recoil shove Gaz’s shoulder back just in time for him to shoot again, this time with Roach in turn. A part of him wanted to scoff at the fact that people were hanging out in the back of a truck with no protection, only halting when the whizzing of a bullet was shot between where they both stood, likely lodged somewhere in the metal behind them, and eating lead as a result. Unsure if it was his own shot or Gaz’s which sent the man’s body over the edge of the vehicle, Roach grimaced behind his mask as he watched the car movements continue without care, the one following the truck making a speed bump out of the target. Had he not been part of the plot to kidnap Laswell – one which would have consequences that made his stomach violently churn if he had a moment or will to think it over – he would’ve felt bad for the man.“They know we’re here now,” the man on the heli’s right comments – at first he thought it was aimed at the open coms, but seeing the slight glance his way, Roach corrected his stance, able to nudge Gaz’s arm with his elbow before the pair returned back to the world of bullets and ear-splitting shots. How Soap could deal with explosions was beyond anyone’s comprehension, even more perplexing considering Roach had found the Scot not once, but twice mid-demonstration without protection.
“You’ll go deaf!” Roach frowned, hands moving expertly in a way which had Soap’s eyebrows raising with what seemed to be regret – if not for what he did, then for making Roach become so panicked. ‘What were you thinking?!’ was the next question which began to be signed, but two hands held the mile-a-minute wrists to find Soap smiling right back at him. I wasn’t fair how disarming a demolitions expert’s smile was, especially when Roach had been deservedly upset at the thoughtlessness. Even if it was borne from the same zealous nature that entrapped him and Simon in the first place.

“Then we’d both need tae sign.” Stupid. Bastard, “Aye! Look there it is!”

“What?”

“You’re smilin’!”

Fuck. Only then did Roach feel how the edges of his lips inch upward and, worse still, he could feel the bubble of laughter rise until it tumbled out of his mouth, obviously vindicating Soap more than Roach had wished to going into this conversation with the soldiers only a few meters away – all wearing noise cancelling headphones, thank fuck. “You ruin your ears, I’ll never talk to you again.”

“HEY!” It shouldn’t have been so funny to watch Soap’s smile crash into a pout
“NIK INCOMING!”The heat that could be felt through the tactical gloves and the lack of bullet wounds in his own body makes Roach well aware that he’s been shooting the whole time, but only just in time to watch Kyle’s teeth grit as Nik called back, telling them to hang on – possibly. The sound cut out the moment the body of the helicopter was rocked from a missile assault and any other cries of alarm became inaudible over the momentary shock after the smaller man was sent ricocheting off of the opposite wall that had been behind himself. Ringing from the metal-on-metal collision muddied Nik’s alarmed call even as his voice came through the coms, though as Roach swam through the thickened sludge of his muddled mind he could faintly pick up the edges of the alarmed Russian voice“-ell out!”“Sa- -gain?”“The Sergeant! He’s gone!”
What?!
Even if his kit felt like a thousand tons, Roach tried to scramble to his feet but, instead, almost tangled his legs enough to follow Gaz’s lead. Instantaneously a hand shot to the rope thankfully still tied around the man’s waist before Bambi legs fumbled their way to his original post in hopes of finding Gaz below, but nausea from the movement itself hindered the very same quick reflexes Roach was admitted into the 141 for. A blessed, albeit distressed, “I'm not dead Nik! I’m hanging from a bloody rope!” did the job for him as it gave the standing Sergeant a few moments to regain his footing – enough to look below and find Gaz dangling as he expertly found and aimed his pistol at the hostiles which now were uncomfortably close to him.In turn, Roach grabbed his gun off the ground with a much more typical speed, fingers gliding over the metal to ensure that nothing was missing or broken before taking his own aim. He only paused upon hearing another crackle in the comms “Insect Sargent,” the name tickled him, somehow pulling a smile behind his hidden face despite the position they were in. Not like Nik didn’t know his name. “How you doing?”Bang Bang  The metal wall shuddered against the force of the gun’s butt, drumming across the craft“Good. Stay up”
Bang Bang
Allowing the smile to stay on his face for a moment, repositioning the gun – eye aligning with the scope – Roach aimed downward, particularly towards targets which had an advantage by coasting on the side of the man’s dangling form. Through the sight, a raised handgun was spotted first, knowing it lined with Gaz’s body, possibly even his head with the angle. The hot feeling of bile was suddenly palpable, the helo making both his aim harder and the sick feeling more pressing. Fuck Skydiving!Without time to move, Roach fired with hope in his heart and prayers to no one in particular on repeat. With the body bent at the waist but moving, it was clear that the bullet was likely lodged in the man’s leg or wrist – not that he waited to find out, shooting again and finally seeing the body crumple to the floor as Gaz seemed to catch on, taking on the others around though was quickly moved away as Nik continued to fly forward.Stick in there Gaz, the beg ricocheted off the side of his own mind Please.If this mission could be saved with no one harmed, maybe everything would be okay. They’d all be okay.They’d all be okay.Much of the mission continued the same, only peering away from the gun’s lens to watch the literal car crash you couldn’t tear your eyes from, the harrowing cries of Nik and Farah shattering the stone-cold concentration for a mere moment until they passed the wreckage.“Go!”Whipping around to look at the back of the pilot’s head, Roach frowned“Im going to tell Gaz to cut – go!”Insane. That’s what this team was! And, with how he took Nik’s following order toward Gaz as his cue, so was he.Unsurprisingly, the descent onto the truck’s roof was much easier than Gaz’s spine-splitting fall, but the burn from the swift movement singed even when the rope was cut free.“I’m free- Roach, Jesus Christ!”“You can rekindle later, get back in the fight Sergeants” Even with the order, it was hard to miss the hint of relief in Price’s voice“You can tell them I’m taking over then.” Gaz snorted“The convoy’s gaining distance,” Farah came through again “We have to keep moving-!”The final part of the message was cut off by the air being cut between the teammates by a misfired bullet. It was Gaz who shot fast enough for the passenger shooter to retreat back into the car. With one motion Roach led the way onto the back of the vehicle, about to take aim from the roof light until the driver was thrown for Gaz to take the man’s spot. Well, that was one way of doing it. A second behind, Roach followed suit and moved toward the side of the truck’s passenger side, just at the right time to grip the hostile’s forearm, bending it out of the car window to disarm him, eliciting a pained scream. Without the possibility of being shot, the car door was wedged open, Roach’s grip on the man pulling him from the car as he tossed him into the road and quickly slotted into the recently vacated seat.“Ha- nice one,”Gaz received a chuckle and a pat on the shoulder in response.Two subsequent car jackings later, much of the ride was the pair driving and shooting on upcoming targets, having the time and skill to shoot with accuracy until the respite called itself to an end with a truck pulling beside them, only slightly overtaking in order to gain an aim advantage. “Fuck!”
Mother Fuckers
“They’ll take Laswell from our cold dead hands,” the grumble came, and it wasn’t hard to tell that Gaz was manhandling his gun from between his legs with the intent to use it. If there was anything which made the whole mission heavier than the fact a person was taken, it was that it was Kate who was in the AQ convoy, life on the line. “AQ’s hitting civilians, we need to take out that truck.”“You’re closing on the mine truck now!”“Solid Copy.” Thankfully, not having the time nor the mind to strap himself in, Roach hoisted himself out of the opened window, perched upon the door frame in an imitation of Gaz’s own actions a few meters back to unleash hell in an avalanche of ammunition. Needing to lean over and take control of the wheel was something the man didn’t want to try any time soon, so made sure he didn’t have to. Watching how it sprayed amongst and into the offending bodies, it was like it was nothing at all – they were just limbs of a wider being that threatened someone dear to them. It almost felt like an out-of-body experience, but Roach was well aware of his own shortcomings: no critical thinking beyond precision occurred when those he cared for were in danger. It was precarious to have a heart in the field and one day it’d be the death of him – whether from recklessness or from a heart attack was yet to be seen.A firm thankful few pats to his calf had Roach retreating back inside the vehicle, breathless and stiff as his arse hit the worn leather seat, but alive. “You good?” The call still had an edge that maintained throughout the hours Kate had been taken but also a softness that was starting to sound like fear. Gaz’s gaze tore from the road in front of him, turning to quickly search over the shorter teammate who only gave a pat down of himself to show no injuries and a thumbs up in response. “Good,” the breathless chuckle came before talking into the radio “All stations, what’s your status?”Thankfully a quick crackle of static was followed by Price’s rumbling voice “Check fire – Check fire Sergeant. I’m in a cargo truck on your six about to pass.”“Just passed the roadblock” Farah called out quickly after, just before a cry of the two Sergeant’s names caught their attention.“Captain!”“AQ’s got reinforcements, you’ll need firepower – hop in boys, let's go!” Neither had to be told twice before abandoning the car in favour of hopping upon the cargo truck, sticking the landing with a minor tumble. “Good to see you both in one piece. Remember the firepower? One of you take the grenade launcher, the other join me.” Without hesitation Gaz took the launcher which worked just fine for Roach had he been asked – he didn’t hate them, but there was a reason he hadn’t become the resident demolitions expert with how the impact and possible fire set the man’s teeth on edge. Even still, listening to Soap while assembling the bombs and dismantling them again quickly became one of Roaches’ favourite pass times – Fuck he wanted this to be over.“Sweet heat, Captain … what’s the word?”“We’re getting close to Laswell, so they’re changing tactics.” Taking Roach’s furrowed brow as a request, Price continued “We were chasing them, now they’re chasing us – Check rear! It’s Farah!” Quickly, all three aboard the cargo bed looked toward the motorbike wielder with a sense of relief that almost could be felt in their blood as Farah gained ground to drive beside them.“The gang’s all here,” looking between all of them Gaz had a semi-smirk “Let’s bring it home.”“Captain! Al Qatala’s coming back this way – they’ll try and box us in.” Farah’s words were a prophecy as a car came rushing their way, causing someone to call out a warning to Farah before the vehicle had a chance to run her over the bonnet.Jesus, Mary and Joseph – and hearing the first rocket make impact had the same sentiment, though there was no time to stand shocked, instead separating himself from Gaz to join Price behind the body of the cargo to provide a 360 scope of the area and cover. A firm hand shocked Roach for the nth time that day, swivelling somewhat to meet Price’s face “Look forward Sergeant,” the man said with a sense of understanding not only in his words but also in his eyes – as much as could be allowed in a moment like this. “I’ll take the rear.”  Nodding, the pair switched places – a fact which led to confusion when Gaz was gone, only relieved when seeing the baby blue shirt hop onto another car as done before. If he knew no better, Roach would’ve thought this was a silver lining to the bad situation for him.It was going by in a blur, the circular road making the landscape unchanging and with little else changing except those shooting at them, only God knew how far off they were getting, but with the density of hostiles increasing, they couldn’t be too far.
The last stretch
They were so close, yet only when Gaz found his way back from the diverged route and back onto the cargo did Roach believe it; itching as they came to a stop, only when Nik blocked the AQ forces from proceeding further did it feel real. As real as his boots hitting hard gravel, the bark of Price's order to move out and the sound of misfired shots filling the air. As real as the rock which Roach collided with before hiding behind it. As real as the enemy forces falling in their droves to him and his team. As real as the ground they moved up until – finally – they made it to the SUV. As real as Kate Laswell who fell from the car with her captor behind her, though she quickly had the man’s head between her thighs.“Let go! Drop your weapon!”              “Laswell, clear! Kate – move!” Both the Commander and Captain sounded urgent, yet still – even with four guns pointed toward the AQ member, Laswell didn’t budge as her legs enclosed further against the struggler.“No,” the defiant pant responded “He’s -mine!” A snapping sound punctuated the finality of the statement, the body going limp and rolling off dejected as Kate finally was able to stand, staggering for a split moment before finding her feet. Although given, there was no need for the hands which extended towards her.“Check the car.”“All clear!”Taking a step away from the car Gaz joined the other four members with a sense of relief, evident in the relaxed pose even if he was still holding his gun in case of some slippery runaway. “Kate it's over… it's over.”The words themselves took a moment to wash over Roach as he looked over Kate, finally seeing her in the flesh, before looking toward the others and thanking the heavens he didn’t see any noticeably pressing injuries. “It’s a family reunion.”“I wouldn’t miss it.”“Farah…” Unsure thanks to the cooling blood pressure, but Roach was certain there was a sense of hesitancy to Laswell’s words – something unsaid and unknown to himself – but with no malice in Farah’s response, the Sergeant opted to not overthink for once.“Nice moves Laswell.”“You too … all of you.”“Let’s just hope Soap and Ghost are having an easier time with your lot,” Price snorts, sending a pang of worry into Roach’s stomach – but with no communications detailing otherwise, there was only a disrupted feeling that couldn’t be acted upon. They were fine, he reasoned They were capable. They were with Mexican and US forces too – all the support they could want. They were fine he continued to reason as the whole group agreed to hall their arses out of Al Mazrah to somewhere safe. They were safe.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Despite his above-average marksmanship, Ghost could feel his conflicted feelings about his sniping position rear their head the moment his body was eased onto the earth below him, watching on from an uncomfortable distance from where El Sin Nombre ought to be.“Shadows on station,” the American voice was a consistent thorn in Ghost’s side, less so because of the man himself – everyone seemed to like him well enough, and the man proved himself competent – but more likely due to the man’s stereotypical American closeness.“Copy. All set here.” And like that, the man’s attention was focusing more so on the men on the roof than the conversation at hand, knowing any second the plan would be enacted, and it would take their collective expertise and God himself to make this go in their favour. Stone cold elsewhere, underneath the mask, there was a slight huff as the conversation continued, the Brit chiming in automatically when necessary.A few weeks ago, had the realisation and confession about the couple’s feelings not occurred, the fact that Graves and Soap were similarly extroverted yet garnered very different internal reactions would have left Ghost bewildered. As would the undercurrent of worry which laced his body upon knowing it would be Soap who was stepping into the lion’s den. Thankfully, the worry was overpowered with a shameless flicker as Soap stepped into view. Danger like this shouldn’t have this effect on any sane man; being in the SAS, going through all that Simon Riley had in his lifetime probably dashed any notion of normal away before it ever began, he supposed. Perhaps that was why the slight warmth in his core made itself known as Soap stepped into view of the sniper’s scope, the average temperatures of Las Almas were only able to explain so much, especially when the warmth momentarily spread through to Ghost’s body, all the way to his fingers as they instantaneously positioned themselves. He knew better since it only took one twitch to give them all up, but he couldn’t rest as if positioning them was the only thing stopping the expert sniper from leaving his post. “Visual on Soap.” Any time else, Ghost would reprimand himself for allowing a possible shudder to shut the operation down, but the consistent movement didn’t allow for such problems to arise nor did the heated climate. Luckily, the fact that the scope remained on Soap as he raised his arms in surrender and the inability to look away at least had Ghost loosening his position enough that his trigger finger was no longer poised to fire.“They see him?” Alejandro’s hushed whisper thankfully covered up the swallow that may or may not have been heard otherwise once the Scot fell to his knees in a singular swift motion“They do now…” a pregnant pause fell between the three while Ghost watched El Sin Nombre’s guards wait for word from their boss. It was a double chain reaction, separated only by seconds. “They’re taking him in.” Murmuring as the orders came in and a bag now shielded Soap’s head from view. Too many memories and unconnected horror stories were stark reminders that visual obstruction didn’t necessitate that what came next was safety, but it was better than being shot on sight, so Ghost accepted it, reminding himself of Roach’s advice “The worst-case scenario is the second lowest likely one.”Ghost intentionally didn’t think about the fact that the most unlikely outcome was the best outcome.   “Kid’s got sand” Fucking right he doesAnd even as Alejandro mutters his prayers of Soap’s safety, Ghost watches on with determination. Aware of his flaws more than anyone, Ghost knew he could pride himself on his loyalty, even to those who never deserved it in the first place – something that he couldn’t say about El Sin Nombre and his men. So, as Soap passed through the gates with a bag secured over his head and foreign hands guiding his way through, the hunched form hid how Ghost waited with bated breath as he dared God to test them; the moment the fucker laid his holy hands on Soap, Ghost would be there to cut the fuckers off. Soap will make it – he has to make it; even if those gilded doors knowingly shielded mountains of drugs and weapons wielded by minds as warped or more warped than his own, Soap would come back to him.---For Soap, getting in was the easy part, even with the shots aimed at him and the bruise he could already feel forming on the back of his knee. It was when the bag was removed from his head, the bright light causing a moment of confusion with the light overhead, that the first sign of concern could be viewed even as he tried to school his expression. Had the masked man’s words not sounded so familiar, Soap would’ve hoped that the momentary betrayal by his features would sell the story they were contriving.“Alejandro..? How did you –”“No time,” Alejandro cut off the question, cautious of how the elevator was rising. “Listen, give them good intel in there. Don’t lie, tell them everything they want to know or you’ll die here.” The threat itself was not odd in the slightest; it was given when you offer yourself to the cartel that a limb or two may go a miss, perhaps a whole appendage or organ if the transgression calls for it. It wasn’t like he had anything to lose; KIA, MIA – it didn’t matter what his family were told in the end considering they would get a lie all the same, knowing that they would never get to know what their relative did.“Tell them everything?”To his family, little John was working his way up the ranks and would retire with ease before becoming a WO2 – it wasn’t like he partook in extra dangerous duties that would see him dead before his 31st birthday. They didn’t know that these brushes with death almost ripped him from them. Maybe it was a disservice to do this to them and let them suffer the fallout when the inevitable happens, but when the time came to make the decision, Soap knew that all of the men around him had lives and loved ones closer than his. They could avoid all MacTavishes forever if the plan fell through, but Soap didn’t know if he could face Alejandro if Rudy went down (or vice versa) or knowing their families would live in the same city in which their loved ones met their untimely end in. He couldn’t let Graves do this when he – and only he – had his men to command and a family back homeAnd Ghost?It was out of the question. He wouldn’t even consider it. Soap knew he’d lay down his life for the man regardless, but he also knew he couldn’t face Roach if anything happened to their Lieutenant – to Simon. It would be like dying twice with no relief. In that instance, Soap realised all selfless acts were selfish, though there was no time to dwell on it. So, as he asked for confirmation, he was only asking for a quick way to die.“Everything. Mexican Special Forces. American PMCs. Shadow Company. Phillip Graves. All truth…”“Even your name-?”The question had no answer as the elevator doors opened to reveal a man who would have been more intimidating had the shirt he'd been wearing not looked like it belonged in Soap’s seanmhair’s kitchen, god rest her soul. The table-cloth-wearing man – Diego –  asked Alejandro something, but with a response in the affirmative, Soap tried to not worry about the language barrier. “You got a name, hawk?”
Prick
“They call me Soap”The chuckle was expected that indicated the same sort of ‘are you kidding’ attitude he also wore when he first got his callsign. He grew thankful that its meaning was not the meaning he had imagined as a bright-eyed Private. Surely the similarly spoken Spanish indicated the same. “Let’s go.”“I want to see El Sin Nombre.” Out of the corner of his eye, Alejandro’s schooled expression wavered somewhat, thankfully as the man in front of Soap leaned forward to pull him closer by his shirt“You’re only alive because you may have some information-" There was a light reprieve though the cotton remained between Diego’s fingers “And it better be good güero – or I'm gonna scalp that hawk right off your fucking head.” With a pushback, the man turned and raised his hand as if to beckon him forward – like a dog. “Get the fuck out of my elevator!”Ignoring the flare of ire in his bones at the command, Soap began to walk as the older man began to talk, having once more to keep himself in check as a guard who he hadn’t realised was behind him pushed him on further unnecessarily. The urge to turn on his heel with an arm raised was unreal but kept hidden only with his determination to see it out of the building alive. They were all so close to this bullshit being over – less than a few days before being back at base and seeing Gaz, Price and Roach again.While the leader continued with the one-sided conversation and the likely reiteration of threats, Soap’s stomach felt uneasy for the first time since the bullet laid at his feet as he spared a thought for the other members of the 141 – there had been zero contact and something about it felt wrong. He knew that it was for everyone’s safety, but as he found his footing after the push, realising he was surrounded by unknown hostiles whilst in a drug lord’s domain, “it’s a part of the job” no longer comforted the Scot as he thought about his friends’ safety.There had been an instance before where such concerns bore not only on his shoulders but Roach’s as well. They waited for days for Ghost to come around; it had been a lone mission that he had been abandoned on – his team having fled given the orders from the Lieutenant after metal beams came raining down on them. In the moments where it had been just them, Roach pulling Soap back by his hand in a silent plea to stay despite the rule being family visitation only, there was a promise that they would bring each other and Ghost home safe. No sacrifices. No choosing one over the other. It was hopeful thinking about how the doctors wouldn’t confirm if Ghost would wake up well again, but the promise played again and again – mission after mission – after Ghost had been cleared for duty miraculously soon after.He had to have been lying about being healed Soap mindlessly thought before silently looking out of the corner of his eye, able to see how the large drug lord ‘home’ had such spindly passageways. “And más importante,” so much that once the owner of the home turned to face him, it had only occurred to him that they had taken a few twists already “Tell the fucking truth.” The order came out as if he was almost bored of saying it – as if Soap were the 25th child going to get his photo taken with Santa that day. Though once threatened to be fed to dogs, the tone picked up. Something must have betrayed that Soap had a long-lasting fear of dogs as the cartel member eyed him up and down for a second time.Only the sniffing of one of his ‘friends’ took the heat from Soap.The confrontation was quick – all in Spanish, yet violence was a universal language. The drugs must have been off limits with how the reinforced heel bludgeoned the lower down’s head without a second thought. With the order to “Don’t disobey”, a part of him wondered if this was all theatrics in hopes of scaring Soap into obeying the commands set out.Even though they were finally coming to what seemed to be the end of this floor’s hallway, the man continued “That is how the organisation survives,” another part of what seemed to be a practised monologue “That is why the boss is here tonight.”“… El Sin Nombre is down here?”“Heh no,” the words came out fractured as if wondering what to say next though it was to be expected since Soap was hardly deemed trustworthy “Sin Nombre’s personal sicaria is.” A beat passed between them, just long enough for a quick start to the Hail Mary, before his guide turned and opened the door, revealing two persons standing, three seated and only one struggling.So he hadn’t been the first to get that spiel. “Valeria,” a woman looked up from the wriggling form of a blinded man, the material wrapped too tightly for it not to be part of the torture technique “There’s one more. A gringo.”“Hmm… sit down.” Without being asked – at least not verbally – the man to Valeria’s right took the seated man’s arm, one hand secured to the back of his neck in a bruising grip before being flung to the ground like a trash bag, a casual discarding move as if removing a blanket from a sofa to make space. Needless to say, Soap took the seat offered lest he became the next lifeless body. He would not be made a liar – not to Roach.With his hands tied, the fall to the chair was ungraceful as much as it was painful, sending a shock already to the Sergeant’s thigh, his discomfort muffled by Soap’s tour guide being held at knifepoint, forced to his knees by a woman at least three inches smaller than himself. The glare given as he recovered from the shove to the ground was a message to not fuck this up – it had been pure luck that Sopa gained entry and that man’s life, and his own, were dangling on fate’s knife edge.“Niños” The woman called out, almost in a manic jovial way considering the dimmed light surroundings which illuminated her captives “This is simple: I ask questions. You answer truthfully. Do not lie to me.” A thread of adrenaline spiked in Soap’s blood, thankfully not enough to let the typical energetic jitter bounce his leg, but enough that the tint of the gun in Valeria’s hand garnered his full attention in hopes of being able to see if she would use it before she had the chance. Not that it mattered – the confined space made it certain that if she shot his way, even if she missed the first time, it would take a miracle to see Soap leave alive. “Recently we were protecting a friend in the mountains. Someone attacked us there… Who?”Faced with the contracted killer, the man opposite Soap stumbled. Mentally, he was coaching him, face mouthing out the words for him to say in hopes that Soap could leave without witnessing a snuff film before his very eyes, but in the real world his expression stayed the same; if it wasn’t Valeria who would see him, it would be one of her guard dogs that were lingering on opposite sides of the room. He’d thought he wasn’t important enough to consider until his own questioning, yet as the fellow captive started speaking Spanish, it became very clear that this was as much an interrogation as it was a demonstration as he was ordered to speak English. “I- I think it was the Rivals Cartel.”“Your turn blanquito. Who attacked us?”
‘Everything. Mexican Special Forces. American PMCs. Shadow Company. Phillip Graves. All truth’
“It wasn’t cartel.” Looking upward to Valeria “It was Mexican Special Forces.”Something in the woman’s face changed; impressed wasn’t the right word, though there was a sense of positive disbelief that the answer was the one she had been looking for. “We found the bodies,” confirming it instantly. He knew that it was all mind games – a test of loyalty. “Fuerzas Especiales.” The name rolled off her tongue with the same juxtaposition of sweet poison. As she swerved her way through the small distance between one side of the chair and the other, the sicaria hummed, as if she wasn’t pitting the lives of two men against one another. “Now, how would an outsider know they were Mexican Special Forces and not you?”“M-Maybe he was there.”The man perched on the step and moved to further encircle the other hostage, addressing him first before bypassing Soap completely, speaking to Valeria as if he were an inanimate object. A pause had been her only response to any suggestion before the interrogation continued. Back and forth, back and forth. The man opposite him would say one thing, sometimes in an attempt to frame Soap to save his own life, and Soap would answer with the truth that El Sin Nombre and his men seemed to already know. The only saving grace was the washy details that the other man gave, allowing for wiggle room when Valeria asked for confirmation. “Can you prove this “Shadow Company” even exists?”The question left the man lost for words, eyes twitching as if Valeria would suddenly grow a heart and give him the way out of his own grave with no hard feelings.“And what about you? What proof do you have?”“revisa mi bolsillo” the words falling out heavily accented, but it was enough for eyebrows to be raised with a momentary pause, only for the badge to be pulled from his pocket. Even when Valeria searched it, looking over for what must have been signs of legitimacy, weighing up the fact that neither of the men was necessarily wrong though if it came to it Soap would have to argue he had been right, he had to wonder how none of this set off alarm bells. He had given everything, now giving up Graves’ name with no hesitation and having proof of the existence of mercenaries, with an ability to stare a personal hit man in the eye and yet he sat there with no damage done to him yet. Alejandro had said to tell the truth or die, but Soap had almost expected more from a bloodthirsty cartel.“This man… Graves… what does he want?”“The Iranian… he wants Hassan.” The words came out with more fanfare than the last, voices piping up with phrases that exposure amongst the Vaqueros didn’t allow him to understand. Tones had never been Soap’s strongest social cue, and the spike in his heart rate reflected as much as he watched the three people in front of him talk at varying degrees of speed. Valeria’s voice started with heat only to patter off into cold indifference, but it had been the tied man’s fear that only gave Soap a moment of warning before a gun had been drawn and one singular bullet lodged into the man’s skull, blood splattering at the close-range shot. Of course, Valeria stood there with no expression, only reaching back to expertly unsheathe her blade to sever the secure zip ties that had kept him restrained the whole time. The purr of Spanish in any other context would have warmed Soap’s blood, as would the praise as meaningless as it was, but instead, Soap felt … nothing. Relief, maybe, though it was layered under sheets of shock that he’d have to push past in order to leave the facility alive.“We are going upstairs.” And he followed behind his previous guide who now acted as a barrier between Valeria and himself, walking the same path as finally El Sin Nombre was coming into view, though both guides were the roadblocks before getting to their boss. The nearing end was the only thing that made the elevator ride bearable as he knew the pair were waiting for Soap to fuck up, get cocky perhaps. But he stood, listening to few words he could piece together of spoken Spanish, unintentionally letting his mouth slip once. Thankfully his impatience regarding meeting El Sin Nombre wasn’t a transgression which earned another notch on Death’s bedpost.----Moments later all three landed on the intended floor, Soap all but shoved out to the waiting area with his personal guard waiting. Unsure whether this member was as batshit as the other two, Soap complied when being patted down. “You’re alive…” The weight of the stress only was tangible when a fraction of it was shaved off his shoulders upon hearing Alejandro’s voice, even if the words were laced with their bewilderment.“Alejandro…? You too, mate. El Sin Nombre’s in the penthouse. Third Floor.”“We need a keycard.”“Diego has it.”“Take this.” A knife slyly entered Soap’s hands to which Soap twisted it over, inspecting it. A habit picked up after a few impromptu lessons on knife etiquette when he and the 141’s resident couple seemed to be the only few with time off the clock. Finally, with the final few items passed his way to disguise himself, Soap followed Alejandro’s lead, only faltering when taking a step out of the French doors as Ghost’s voice filtered in their earpieces.“You see anything, LT?”
Talk to me
“If you can scout a way to the roof, there’s access to the penthouse.”
Remind me I’m alive
The intensity held in Simon’s voice came through his rumbling words minutely, so much that Soap instantly tried to rub away the mission-incurred relief in hopes of stopping his heart-led thoughts. He couldn’t let adrenaline and Ghost mix. Not when Alejandro’s life was on the line.“What’s in the garage?”“No idea,” Alejandro answered, words murmured lowly “But it’s important to Diego.”As much as he wanted the harsh grind of the Mancunian accent pushing him on, helping him ignore the ache of his wrists and the hammering of his heart, Soap was thankful that he heard the man sign off with only the voices of cartel members around him to guide him through the complex. Though, with a clearer mind, there was something that felt wrong. Sure, all his steps were marked so to not step out of line, every sound he made traced, each swipe of his eyes measured, yet making ground through the large building almost felt too easy. Even when Alejandro’s voice almost caused Soap’s grip on the balcony to slip with his warning of possibly being shot on sight, something felt off.Overactive imagination? Yes, but a worrier? Soap was far from it. It’d been one of the reasons he’d been able to get into the SAS in the first place; Price hated it since the only time he seemed to trust his gut was when it would become other people’s problem if he didn’t, but everything was going right. What was wrong? Even when manoeuvring through the second floor, there was a sense of trepidation. The unknown twisting in his guts with each corner passed and, as the interior lost its lighting, Soap’s right hand hovered over the knife stolen from a table passed, watching to see signs of life in the oddly barren hallways.Not too far now, the mental note taking the shape of Ghost’s voice. Keep it steady. So much for keeping him from his mind. Not that the subsequent mental image of Roach’s hands on his wrist to help aid Ghost’s verbal instructions helped at all.Maybe it did considering the knife glided through the air in a straight motion, lodging straight into an unimpressive guard, the takedown was swift with no room for struggle – a feat which Ghost would often ‘reprimand’ Soap about during their training. Taking optional things seriously was a rarity, no matter their in-field significance, so the attempts to make the knife spin in mid-air surely weren’t surprising. The reprimands were things he’d brush off, only rectifying his mistakes with Roach’s guiding touch that disarmed him enough to quell the playful stubbornness that would end with Ghost and himself nose to nose, hard and amused eyes battling with a smirk. But now none of it mattered, the guard flopping with ease in front of the thick wooden doors. Pushing the mahogany open, another poised dagger flew to Diego’s bodyguard before the last ending wedged between the eyes of the last man’s eyes, cascading down the front of the ofrenda and taking the images of the eternal souls with him.  Once the keycard was in his hands, the rest became a blur – too many feet, the clicks of guns and the holding of breath clouded judgement enough that it was almost like a daydream with how his mind switched from where he hid in the closet until he found himself with Alejandro again, only vaguely aware they hadn’t met in front of the locked door but now both crouched in front of it to get a PID on the mastermind. With the snake cam lodged securely, Soap bent down with all determination for the action to not send his stomach for a loop. Early signs he told himself, knowing that the disorientation and sickness were likely symptoms of the stressful environment more than anything else. He needed out and hopefully identifying El Sin Nombre would speed that up.“Let’s put a face to the nameless.”The room filtered through the camera, staring much too low with the only notable fact being the furniture was as boring throughout the whole building until the scope changed, finally bringing human legs into frame instead of wooden ones. Until, finally, the person on the phone was there butIt made no sense.The sicaria?He continued to watch, almost certain there was some mistake, that maybe the contracted was taking up the contractor's work while he was escaping – a smarter move than staying with a breech that surely the whole of El Sin Nombre’s men knew about by now. But then they addressed her as boss and it was over. Just like that.“No fucking way…” Soap uttered to the still Mexican air, forgetting he wasn’t alone.“What is it?”“The Sicaria I met downstairs. Valeria … she’s El Sin Nombre.”A flash of stillness fell over Alejandro as his eyes shut, almost as if processing information; Soap wanted to ask when the silence lasted a second too long, but just as he dared, the Colonel spoke again.“Valeria. Are you sure, Hermano?”“Yes.”The reaction was instantaneous with an urge to leave as soon as possible, Soap having to notify Graves over comms whilst beginning their movement. “We’re moving in. You set?”“Check,” the distinctly American accent juxtaposed Ghost’s confirmation a second later, coming in a second before the final order of the conversation: “Take her alive.”Unsurprisingly when Alejandro kicked in the door with a remarkable sense of ease three men were waiting on the other side; gunfire split his ears, mind fuzzing at the edges with only the adrenaline and instincts pushing him forward, his own trigger finger selective to save ammo while also spitting out bullets with accuracy overthinking wouldn’t allow him to achieve. Ignoring the pain that came from the bypassing metal and the twinge in his muscles was second nature as Soap ducked and practically dived over the obstructions laid out for them, aiming in the interim as he made his way into the room, thankfully landing a handful of bullet along the length of one bodyguard’s torso while Alejandro nailed another with an impressive headshot from his pistol, allowing for one of them to hit the last man with an untraceable capsule.
Roof, the fucking-
It was like a broken record the moment the door was busted open: get to the roof, don’t let her go. Something blew up in himself, how Soap imagined C4 would feel had they the nerves to do so just before exploding, knowing how close they were; skipping over the bodies felt like nothing when he could hear the fluttering of the helo’s rotors.“Down! Get down!” The sound of the southern accent almost caused a bubble of delirious laughter to spill, somehow held back as Valeria continued to fight back only to give in a moment later once seeing the end of Soap’s gun just in time for the American to threaten again. “A bullet will make you kneel,” and it did. “Atta girl… Secure her I’ll cover.”Despite the blinding lights on her, guns promising to fire if a hair was out of place, Valeria hardly reacted as Soap circled her, taking one wrist from where it was held in the air before retrieving the other, only minutely aiding her as she stood. “El Sin Nombre-““Me llamo Valeria.”“Hiding in plain sight!” Delirium from the coming adrenaline crash bleeding into the words.“Hiding?!” The woman let out a sound between a scoff and an aborted laugh “Estoy en todas partes, Soldado!”“That’s good!” Graves’ voice spoke over the sound of the helicopter, eyes trained on Soap so intensely that it was almost like his proximity to Valeria made him of equal interest until the man’s attention switched back, something less kind in his eyes “So are we. Let’s go.”Valeria’s handover was easy in a way which seemed too easy for the mission they just completed, but Soap could only watch on as the drug lord was taken by one of Graves’ men, though that didn’t stop her looking back with something completely unreadable, bypassing the man who handed her to the mercenaries with the intent to capture Alejandro in her gaze. Looking over, it was obvious she got what she wanted as Alejandro looked up with a set jaw and parted lips which let unnaturally controlled breaths flow past.“Hermano, ¿qué es?”“Valeria,” the name hanging in the air dead still despite the wind “I know her.” As Alejandro walked up into the helicopter behind Valeria and her keeper, Soap remained watching, wondering what it meant, but with the man practically running away from the questions that couldn’t form quick enough in Soap’s scatterbrain there was no time to ask.Let the hard stuff be over, he thought while trying to hide the internal struggle. Silently praying to God, Soap promised he'd stop avoiding Ghost and Roach if it meant being able to go home to them - even if it meant watching them carry on happily.