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Bucky loved his boyfriend. He loved the dorky blonde, who’s reading glasses slipped off the bridge of his nose whenever he was enjoying his latest book, and the ripped to shreds model, who would spend the rest of his life hiking and exploring if he could. He loved the man, who adored puppies and doted on kitties all the same, the man that visited sick children in the hospital, and the man, who’s true passion was art. He loved the way he stopped mid-walk to sketch New York, how he was a jar opening wizard, and could see the good in anyone, regardless of their past. Bucky loved his Steve from sparkle in his eyes to his dancing hips, but he was starting to wonder if their relationship was anything more than a fever dream. They met in a coffee shop, five months ago, when Becca’s work stole her away, and so Bucky was on his own. Steve was sitting in the corner with a mug of steaming coffee and a newspaper, whilst Bucky had a table of his own by the window, but they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. Growing tired of the other man’s causal yet flirtatious glances, Bucky approached him to talk, but it was Steve who wrote his number on a napkin and slipped it into Bucky’s bag. After a week of goofily getting to know each other over text, they bumped into each other at the library and the rest was history ; from then on, it was them against the world — at least… from Bucky’s view it was. He should’ve known something was up, that Steve couldn’t be perfect, and that no relationship could be sunshine and rainbows all the time. Bucky guessed it was easier not to flag any worries than face them head on, but things had gone too far and he knew he couldn’t ignore the signs, anymore. They’d been boyfriends for months and yet, Bucky had never seen where Steve lived, he knew nothing about his friends (no names, no faces, nothing), he hadn’t met his family (he knew his parents were dead, but he had to have someone), he didn’t have his social media (he claimed to not have any, but that was impossible with the time and his age), despite him always going on mysterious “work trips” that could last multiple nights at a time, he refused to tell him anything about his job (not even employee gossip or the countries he traveled to), and, most importantly, he never told anyone, including Bucky, his full name. As much as it pained Bucky to believe it, he knew there was only one explanation — Steve was lying to him; specifically about his relationship status. It made sense for Steve to be unfaithful, for all Bucky knew, his boyfriend had a husband or a wife at home and he was the mistress, but that didn’t mean it hurt less. Bucky was a terrible dater, he was awkward and his social cues were iffy at most, but Steve made dating seem easy. Life was relaxed and carefree with Steve, he never had to worry about saying the wrong thing and they always had fun : Bucky had been starting to see a forever with the guy, and it like Steve had punched him in the face for it. That was why Bucky was finally pulling the plug. He couldn’t deal with the betrayal and lies anymore, so instead and staying silent and letting Steve treat him like his goddamn side-snack of a toy, he was going to break up with him. In Bucky’s eyes, their relationship was over. … It was hard not to give into Steve’s goofy smile. He was wearing Bucky’s favourite jeans and a shirt so tight that any other day, Bucky would’ve ripped it off the moment Steve entered the kitchen and let him fuck him against the counter. Bucky breathed heavily as he grabbed the plastic bag and walked up to his soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, pushing the bag into his hands with a serious expression. “Take it.” Bucky ordered, bluntly. Steve frowned, raising his eyebrows at him as his fingers wrapped around the handles of the bag. “What?” “It’s all the things you’ve left here. I assumed you’d want to keep them.” Bucky explained. From his toothpaste, toothbrush and vitamins to his books, hoodie and mug ; all the little things that once meant something were shoved inside. “I want to break up with you.” Bucky forced out before Steve could change his mind. “Bucky, that’s… that’s not funny.” He replied, voice broken and eyes wide. Steve looked like a kicked puppy, a horrible sight, but a necessary one. No relationship was strong enough to survive his lies. “I’m not joking.” Bucky told him. “I’d appreciate it if you don’t come back.” “Bu—“ “It’s over, Steve.” Bucky snapped. “I can’t do this anymore.” “I don’t understand where this is coming from, Bucks — I thought…” Steve gulped, dropping his eyes, and letting out a strangled sigh. It was criminal for him to be so sad. “Why?” Bucky huffed. “You know why.” “I—“ “No more excuses. No more lies.” Bucky snapped. “I told you I can’t do this, anymore. It makes me sick thinking about it. You make me sick.” Bucky growled. “I’m out and you can’t change my mind.” “Bucky please.” He begged. “Listen to me, h-hear me out, whatever you think happened, it—“ “Do you take me a fool?” Bucky exclaimed. “I know, Steve, I’m not stupid. I know what you do when you’re not here.” He couldn’t do it, anymore. He couldn’t be the “other man”, the mistress — not when when loved him so much. Not when their relationship meant so much to him — too much to him. Steve’s eyes widened, telling Bucky everything he needed to know — Steve was cheating on him. “Get out.” “Bucky—“ “I said, get out!” Bucky exclaimed. It wasn’t until Steve had left his street that Bucky let himself fall to the floor and weep. He’d loved his boyfriend, but his boyfriend hadn’t loved him. … “Is that woman staring at you?” Becca asked, furrowing her eyebrows as she placed their coffees on the table and sat opposite to him. Bucky sighed. The red-head had followed him from his work to the café, but after his break up the day before, her presence did nothing to him. “I don’t know what she wants and I don’t care.” He told her. Bucky picked up his steaming coffee and gulped it down, despite the way it burned his tongue and throat. After being on autopilot through work, he needed some caffeine to stay awake. “I asked Jay if those extras hours were still available.” Bucky told his sister. “Oh.” She blinked, forgetting immediately about the passive aggressive woman like Bucky hoped she would. “What did he say?” “Yes, he still wanted me, but he was confused to why I’ve changed my mind. I told him my circumstances have changed, and he was alright with that and didn’t prod what was up.” Bucky explained. Becca sniggered. “Your circumstances have changed? What a formal way to say you’ve broken up with your cheating boyfriend, so don’t need to make your life work around the irregular hours of his mysterious job. Ugh,” she grunted, “what an asshole.” Bucky sighed. “I loved him, Becca.” “James, you moron, you don’t even know his full name!” She exclaimed. “That doesn’t change how I fell in love with him as a person. A name is a name and nothing more. Why else would Juliet say ‘What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”?” Becca snorted, hiding her face in her hands as she broke down in laughter. “You did not just quote Shakespeare!” “What’s wrong with Shakespeare?” Bucky argued. “Oh my god, my brother is so gay.” Becca giggled. “I introduced Steve to Shakespeare.” Becca stopped, a frown spreading across her lips, and she sighed. “Oh Bucky…” Bucky missed Steve. … Bucky watched Steve from his bedroom window. The man was standing on his doorstep, his hair a mess as he knocked between pacing back and forth. Bucky hadn’t been answering his calls, his heart couldn’t take his excuses, take the reminder of his woes, so Steve must’ve thought he could reach him if he came back. Bucky told him he never wanted to see him again, that he couldn’t come back, but Steve was there. The idiot wanted another chance and as much as Bucky wanted to give it to him, he knew it was a bad idea. Taking a deep breath, Bucky unlocked the window and pushed it open. “What are you doing Steve?” He huffed. “Haven’t you gotten the hint? It’s over. I can’t do th—“ “I’m not cheating on you!” Steve exclaimed. “I’m not cheating on anybody! This has been a huge misunderstanding, I promise, y-you have to listen to me! I know you love me a-and I love you, I-I love you so much, doll. Don’t give up on us because I can’t give up on you!” Bucky gulped, squeezing shut his eyes, and tried not to cry. He wanted to believe Steve, he really did, but if he wasn’t cheating on him, what was he doing? He was too gentle to be a mafia boss, he wasn’t a heavy drinker, and he never took drugs. Steve wasn’t a criminal, there wasn’t one bad bone in his body, but cheating? Anybody could cheat. “God, Bucky, there’s no one else, not even close ; the closest person I had to a girlfriend moved on a long time ago and you’re my first serious… anything.” He breathed, running his hands through his hair. “You’re my world, Bucks ; I couldn’t imagine life without you.” Steve told him, a sad smile dripping from his lips. He chuckled dryly and shook his head. “I’m… I’m the one to blame. I shouldn’t have kept things from you, I should’ve been honest, but I was scared that I’d lose you. I know it’s not an excuse…” He faded, hugging his chest. “I’m sorry.” “I never wanted to lose you, either.” Bucky told him. “I wanted this to be a-a forever thing, but I… I can’t live your lies with you, Steve. Honesty makes or breaks a relationship and I… I want to believe you, but it’s-it’s hard.” “My name is Steven Grant Rogers.” He blurted. “You wanted to know my last name ; it’s Rogers. I’m Steve Rogers. Are you happy now? Do you trust me?” Bucky backed away from the window. He couldn’t breathe. Oh. Oh shit. Steve wasn’t cheating on him - he was Captain fucking America! How had he not worked it out? How dumb was he not to see how similar they looked, how alike they were ; the irregular hours fitting with The Avenger’s schedule perfectly? Bucky ran, almost slipping down the stairs as he hurried to get to his kitchen. His hands fumbled for his keys, gripping them tightly when he found them, and unlocking the door. The moment Bucky could see his beautiful, kind face, he flung his arms around him, pulling him through the doorway and kissing him, forcefully. Steve kicked close the door and pinned him to the wall ; in that moment, it was only the two of them and that was all that mattered. Every movement was full of fiery passion, lusty desire, and desperate love. Bucky’s lungs struggled to work as all the air was whipped from his being ; Steve was hungry, biting and licking at his lips, and digging his nails into his shoulders. He wanted him. Regardless of everything, Steve still wanted him. “I love you.” Bucky panted with swollen lips. “Fuck, I love you so much, you know that? I should’ve never doubted you.” “I can’t lose you.” Steve panted. “Y-you have to believe me, I can’t lose you, I-I can’t. Let me show you how much I love you, please, let me show you how much you mean to me!” “You won’t lose me.” Bucky promised. “I won’t make that mistake, again.” Steve bit at his neck and left marks across his collarbone. “I need you.” He told him. Bucky buried his head into the crook of Steve’s neck. “I need you, too.” He murmured. Steve scooped him up, carrying him Bucky up the stairs in bridal-style and tossing him on his bed. “You were worth waiting decades for.” He declared, voice low, as he threw himself at Bucky and trailed kisses across his shoulders. “If every day in the ice meant I could meet you, I’d do it all over again.” Bucky moaned as Steve pulled off his shirt and began licking at his chest. Steve knew how sensitive he was around his nipples and always left galaxies of bites on his pecs. “You’re so beautiful, baby doll. So pretty… just for me.” “Just fuck me already.” Bucky whined. “Stevie!” “I will.” Steve rasped. “Don’t worry - I will. I’m never letting you go again.”