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It’s become routine at this point. Every Monday, if they don’t have other planned schedules or anything, they have six to seven hours of dance practice. Every Monday, all seven of them are put through dance practice, sharpening their skills and keeping light on their feet, always on the grind. And then after every dance practice on Monday, Renjun will choose to stay standing on his feet instead of collapsing to the ground in a weirdly accurate imitation of a sack of potatoes like Chenle does. He doesn’t know what it is about Mondays. Maybe it’s because it’s the day that signals the start of another week. Maybe it’s because his limbs feel heavier and it’s harder for him to get out of bed every Monday. Maybe it’s because he’ll always wake up to a text from his mum reminding him to take his vitamins even though she’s in a place one hour behind in time and two hours away by plane. He keeps his vitamins stashed away in his backpack at all times because of her anyways. It’s just that Mondays make him tired. He’s always tired at the start of a new week. He’s not sure why but there’s just a feeling eating away at him the more he stares at his reflection in the mirror. He’s most likely stinking up the whole place with his pheromones, his citrus scent turning heavier. He doesn’t even have to sniff the air to know that his scent is coated in sadness. Sadness, though? But why? Why is he sad? He frowns at the image of the man reflected in the mirror. It’s become routine at this point. His sadness comes back to him every Monday like a habit, like clockwork. Chenle sits up from where he was lying down on the floor, so in tune with Renjun’s emotions after spending years by each other’s side that he’s now able to tell when he’s not feeling well without even having it said to him in words. Renjun meets the other beta’s eyes through the mirror, answering his silent question with a soft shake of his head. It’s fine, he’s gonna be fine. Arms wrap around his waist and the smell of honey fills his nose as Haechan buries his face in the crook of Renjun’s neck, his hair getting in Renjun’s face. There’s a soft rumbling coming from Haechan’s chest, vibrating against Renjun’s back and immediately easing his bad mood. His own personal sun that keeps away the dark clouds. Renjun exhales softly, feeling as his body starts gradually relaxing in Donghyuck’s arms, tilting his head back on his shoulder and letting him nuzzle his face against his cheek. Renjun will probably smell like honey and cinnamon when Haechan is done with his nuzzling but Renjun takes a little bit of satisfaction in the fact that the other man will also smell like citrus and marigold instead of his usual scent. Mark looks at them through the mirror, smiling softly in that small way of his which says that his omega is happy and content, watching his small pack get along well and finding comfort in each other. Renjun pushes away the lingering feeling of sadness and turns more towards Donghyuck, rubbing his nose in the other beta’s hair. It’ll be fine. He’ll be fine.~By the time Friday rolls around Renjun is like a completely different person. The smile hasn’t left his face ever since he woke up, even though his schedule looked packed as hell and his throat felt sore from singing so much the previous day. They’re shooting NCT Dream content for their Youtube channel and Renjun just can’t stop smiling and laughing ridiculously loudly at every stupid joke Chenle and Haechan make. He can tell that Jisung is embarrassed of them, if his flushed face and apologetic eyes are anything to go by when he turns to look at the staff members every time the three of them dissolve into another fit of giggles.Renjun coos and pinches the cheek of their youngest omega, knowing that despite his whining he still likes it thanks to the way Renjun can smell his mango scent turning sweeter. Mark laughs from his place next to Jisung, watching the two of them pretend to fight. Renjun grins in victory when Jisung raises his hands in the air and pulls away. Renjun could bask in his victory for longer, ignorance being the best kind of bliss in the whole world but he’s been feeling eyes on him for a while now so he knows that he can’t play oblivious for much longer. Jaemin is already staring at him when he turns his head to look. They’re sitting opposite each other (Renjun kind of wants to throttle whoever was in charge of choosing their designated seats) and so it’s easy for Jaemin to simply look at him and mouth the words, “Everything okay?” without making it obvious or bringing much attention to them. Renjun just gives a subtle nod in return. Anything less would be rude and anything more would be lying. He’s just not ready to tell Jaemin what the heck is going on in his head. He knows that the alpha has the best intentions but he also just wants to sweep it under the rug and hide it from the rest of the world for a bit longer. You don’t solve problems by avoiding them, but Renjun is a coward and he’ll avoid his problems for as long as necessary. For as long as he can before they blow up on him. He looks down at his hands, frowning for what must be the first time that day. He misses the way Jaemin shares a knowing look with Jeno and Donghyuck.~Renjun should have known that his good mood wouldn’t last for much longer. It’s Monday again, but there’s something different about this one. There are no schedules planned, not even dance practice, because they decided to give them a free day to relax. Renjun wishes that he was like Chenle who decided that he was going to spend the whole day sleeping. Or that he was like Mark who woke up early and went to visit the other dorms, taking Jisung with him. Or that he was like Donghyuck who said he’s gonna practise his keyboard skills, maybe even like Jeno and Jaemin who said they’re gonna stay in their room to just laze around all day. Renjun wishes he was like anyone else but him right now. The thing is this: He likes being alone but he doesn’t like being lonely and right now, he feels plenty lonely. The silence is never good for him. Silence creates space for thoughts and Renjun’s thoughts are almost never good ones, they’re almost never positive and encouraging. They’re almost always black bottomless pits that drag him in and hold him captive. He stares up at his white ceiling, pretending that it holds all the answers to his questions and begging that if he stares enough perhaps it will give him all the answers. The truth is simple. Renjun has never been good at hiding how he feels, wearing his heart on his sleeve and proudly displaying it to the world like a medal. He has also never been good at hiding what he’s thinking either and the feeling of homesickness has made a place for itself in him more than once these past couple of weeks. He has two simple choices. Choice number one: staying here in his room, rotting away like a corpse, staring at the ceiling as if that’ll make him feel better. Or choice number two: get up and go to the only people he knows will actually make him feel better. You can be away from home but home can be more than a childhood house, smelling of baked cookies and with your mum’s words whispered softly against your ear. With much difficulty, Renjun sits up on his bed. He takes a moment to steady himself, blinking drowsily at the lamp on his bedside table. It’s already dark outside, which proves to him that he’s wasted enough time. He grabs his favourite cream-coloured blanket and slips out of his room, the harsh brightness of the hallway light being on assaulting his eyes for a second before he finds his way to the room two doors down from his.He doesn’t even knock, not that he thinks it’s a big deal, he doesn’t knock most times anyways. Jaemin is sat in front of his computer when Renjun opens the door. He’s typing away on his keyboard, moving his mouse around on his screen as he works on something. He gives a glance over his shoulder at him and then turns back around, almost as if Renjun’s arrival was expected. Renjun wants to be angry about that, wants to protest and say that he’s not that predictable but he’s too tired so he chooses against it. Jeno is lying down on his bed, scrolling through his phone, but he curiously looks up when Renjun enters the room and closes the door behind him. Renjun looks at him and Jeno watches him as the older one quietly walks closer, frowning down at their separated beds, seemingly lost in thought before he grabs Jaemin’s blanket and moves towards Jeno’s bed. Renjun’s knees hit Jeno’s mattress roughly when he drops down on it but he doesn’t care about it, crawling his way towards the alpha to tuck himself to his side and cover his body with both of the blankets he brought with him. Renjun doesn’t respond to Jeno’s questioning hum but he snuggles closer when Jeno lifts an arm and wraps it around his shoulders. Renjun rubs his nose against Jeno’s t-shirt, inhaling the smell of peppermint and cedarwood, feeling the steady rise and fall of Jeno’s chest as he slowly lets it lull him to sleep. The approaching smell of peaches and lilies registers in his sleepy brain but he pays it no mind, more than happy to welcome Jaemin in a cuddle pile. When Renjun rouses from his sleep there’s the pressure of someone lying on top of him. One quick glance gives him the view of messy brown hair and scattered moles on tan skin. Renjun tightens his grip around Donghyuck, melting into his warmth. Jeno’s breath gently hits his face as the alpha curls an arm around them and Renjun’s eyes trail down to see how it wraps around Jaemin’s back as well, the other alpha leaning his head on Renjun’s shoulder as he also sleeps. Renjun’s eyes waver and he lets sleep overtake him again, happy to be surrounded by the people he trusts and loves the most. It’s not his home of four walls and his mum’s smiling face back in Jilin. But it’s a home of reassurance, support and care. And somehow that’s enough. Next Monday will be hard too, but Tuesday will be better, Wednesday will be bright, and by the time Sunday rolls around Renjun will prepare himself for the next day and maybe, one day, Mondays will stop being so scary. Maybe, one day, this feeling of home he has right here, in the arms of these three men, will be enough to chase away any bad thoughts. Renjun believes that one day it’ll be enough.