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“Juniper, let’s go.” Ingrid said, looking at me expectantly. “It is freezing.” “Hold on, love.” I called over my shoulder. I looked at the twins standing in front of me, the little frowns on their faces. “I will come back on Monday, my little angels. I promise.” I smiled. “But we want to go sledding with you again tomorrow.” Tobias frowned deeply, his bottom lip quivering. “We don’t want to wait until Monday.” Frida said, her lip also quivering sadly. “Come here.” I held my arms out to them and they both hugged me at the same time. “For now, it is bedtime, okay? And I will talk with your parents about coming over tomorrow to sled. But I cannot make any promises.” I moved them to arms length again, a hand resting on each of their shoulders. The twins shuddered as the cold, whipping wind blew into the house entry. “Goodnight, my angels.” “Goodnight, NiNi.” They said in unison and reluctantly turned to go to bed. “They will miss you when you are on your honeymoon.” Ana, their mother, said. “It is not for a couple weeks, still. But I think it will be good for them to have some time away. I hadn’t realized how attached they’d grown.” I replied sheepishly. “You have been their nanny for three and a half years, Juniper. Of course they love you.” Ana smiled. “It is late and cold, Ingrid looks like she’s turning into an icicle. I looked back to see Ingrid grumpily watching and laughed. “I will see you on Monday, Ana. Tell Josef goodnight for me.” “Goodnight. Get home safe, girls.” Ana waved and closed the door. I jogged carefully to catch up with Ingrid who had began walking home. “Ingrid, slow down.” I called, trying not to slip on the ice. “Wait for me.” “You told me you would be done at six.” Ingrid called back in irritation. “It’s almost eight.” “I know, I know.” I sighed, falling in step with her. I linked our arms together as we walked. “We just got–” “Caught up in having fun. I know. But we are going to be married soon and you cannot keep doing this.” Ingrid sighed in frustration. “I mean, what about if we had our own baby?” “Babe…” I sighed. “You know I’m not ready for that.” “You will raise Ana and Josef’s children but you will not raise one with me?” Ingrid argued, shaking my arm away from her as she looked at me. “We’ve argued about this everyday for four months. We will have our own kids, I just…” I shrugged. “I want some time for just us.” “And how will we have time for just us when you are busy raising their children?” Ingrid challenged. I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily. “Ingrid, please. I–” “I’m going out.” Ingrid said suddenly. “Don’t wait for me.” And with that, she turned on her heel towards downtown.I stopped walking and watched her as she disappeared down the road. “Genuinely wondering what the fuck has gotten into her lately.” I sighed to myself. I suddenly felt a very uncomfortable, eerie feeling and looked around. The hair on my neck stood, but I saw nothing. This did not deter me from resuming my walk home, trying to walk as calmly and quickly as possible; if someone was following me, I did not want them to catch on to my fear and pounce. Of all nights to forget my pepper spray, I had to get followed now? I turned a corner and slid on the ice, falling hard on my back. The wind was knocked out of me and I tried groaning in pain, writhing mildly in my spot. My heart lept from my chest as two figures approached me and I tried to roll onto my stomach to crawl away, but I could hardly move still. When the two figures stepped under the street light, my heart slowed a little. They were just kids, and they were dressed only in regular clothes with a cloak on top.  This is no way to dress a child for such weather,  I thought to myself. They must be freezing.  The two children looked like twins; young, not even teenagers yet. Two boys? I looked harder. No, a boy and a girl. Just like an older version of Tobias and Frida. My breath came back to me as the two looked down at me curiously. “Do you like her?” The girl asked. Her eyes, which seemed to glow red, looked at me carefully. “She looks very kind. And she was so gentle with those twins. Do you like her as well, Jane?” The boy asked. I blinked, trying to reorient myself. This situation felt odd. “Are you two– are you lost?” I asked in concern, still laying on the freezing, icy ground. “No.” The girl replied lightly. “We like you.” She smiled smally and lowered herself to her knees. “Please do not disappoint us.” Her hands easily lifted me into a partial sitting position and she moved my scarf and hair away from my neck. Was I hallucinating? How did this tiny little girl hold me up like this? And why was she–There was a hot, searing pain that began coursing through my body. Jane, the little girl, laid me back on the ground and looked at me with a smile on her face. “It will not hurt for too long. You will survive.” She said. I tried to focus on her face– was that blood on her lips? Was that my blood? What the hell did she do to me? I screamed in pain and writhed in my spot. I rolled to my stomach and pressed my face into the ground, trying to relieve the painful burning sensation in my veins. “What the hell did you two do this time?” I heard a loud, deep voice ask in irritation. “We finally found a mother.” Jane replied. “You two can’t keep doing this.” The voice sighed. “Perhaps this will be the one they keep.” Another adult male voice suggested. I slammed my fist down on the pavement in pain, my senses becoming blinded by it. “Please,” I begged. “Help me, make it stop.” “Alec, can’t you–” “This is part of the experience.” The young boy, who must be Alec, said. “Let her feel it.”“Demetri, get the car.” The man with the deep voice sighed. “Hurry up.” - All I knew was I was shoved into the backseat of a vehicle for a few hours before being boarded onto a plane. A cloth had been tied around my eyes, making me unsure of how much time had been passing. Not that I could have noticed anyways, due to the sheer amount of burning pain that was flowing through my aching, tired body. But eventually, I fell asleep. I hoped I wouldn’t wake again, not if I had to face that pain again.When I inevitably woke up a few days later, I was on a floor in the center of a large dome-like room. My eyes fluttered open and squinted at the bright light peeking in through the small, various windows. I slowly sat up and was startled when the two children from the other night were on either side of me, helping me stand. “Who are–”“Hello, dear.” A man with long, silky black hair greeted, a soft smile on his face. “I apologize that we must meet due to these circumstances, but–” “Where am I?” I asked, my eyes darting around wildly. “What is wrong with me? Why does my throat hurt?” “You are in Volterra, Italy. My name is Aro, and these are my friends; Marcus and Caius.” The man began softly. “You are surrounded by a coven of vampires, and you have been turned. You have now begun your immortal life.” He explained kindly. “This is Felix, Demetri, Santiago, J–”I sputtered a laugh and shook my head. “Vampires aren’t real. What kind of sick joke is this?” I asked. “Did you hire those children to drug me?” I motioned towards the twins that moved a ways away from me, standing to the right side of the small stage of thrones. “Am I having a bad trip on acid or something?” Aro gave me a sympathetic look and folded his hands together. “I do apologize for this. You see, the twins will find someone every few decades and turn them, hoping to find a mother. Though, I am sure you can guess by now, despite their efforts over the last several centuries, they have not found one they do not grow bored with…” I shook my head. “This isn’t real.” Aro glanced to the back door where I had walked in and nodded towards it. “It seems you have woken on a good day, dear Juniper.” I looked at him in confusion and when I took in a breath to speak, I smelled something delectable. The smell made me frantic and I looked around wildly. It felt like I was being forced to take the passenger seat of my own body while an unfamiliar bloodlust rose.“Hold her.” I heard Aro say and Felix appeared next to me with Santiago.The back doors opened and the smell became stronger and wafted into the room as a group of people walked in sporting cameras and smiles. My body reacted before I realized, tensing hard to run towards them. What were they carrying that smelled so fucking good? Felix and Santiago were suddenly beside me and grabbed my arms, immobilizing me.I looked back at them and then to the group of tourists desperately. I yanked my arms hard and I rocked Felix and Santiago in their spots. The burning in my throat was too painful for me to second guess how I could have moved them, I yanked again and again until finally I wiggled myself free from them and darted towards the people. I wasn’t fully expecting to bite into one of their necks as I did. I thought perhaps I would search some bags or pockets. But it was their blood I wanted. I clamped my jaws down so tightly on my first victim, a giant chunk of their neck was ripped from their body and I spit it out in disgust.“You need to control how hard you bite.” It was Demetri, appearing a few feet next to me, watching me carefully. “Try again on the other side, and bite like this.” He grabbed someone running by and kept eye contact with me as he sunk his teeth into the person’s tender neck. This was insane. But maybe it was a bad trip, or a terrible dream. Maybe if I complied, I would wake up at home. I spun the screaming human around and sunk my teeth in the other side of their neck. Well, he was right. The warm blood flowed into my mouth and I moaned before beginning to drink, falling harshly to my knees as I drained as much of their blood as I could.When I was done, I looked around frantically and only then noticed all of the screaming chaos. I shuddered, the screaming triggering something deep inside of me that made me want to pounce and prowl each and every one of them. But, desperation set in when I realized the entire room of people that were with me were picking off the humans one by one. What if I wouldn’t get enough for myself? I darted around, frantically looking for a human of my own. I found one, cowering under a small pile of dead bodies.The woman looked around, sobbing, and I could see the blood pulsing hard through the vein in her neck. I crouched down and pounced on her, sinking my teeth into her. The woman’s screaming and squirming sent a rage through me and I growled, snapping her neck. I felt myself smile as her body went limp and continued feeding on her.As I finished, I realized that I felt quite satiated. Perhaps due to my height and size, I didn’t need as much as, say, Felix. The chaos was over as quickly as it started and I found myself sitting on top of the last body I fed from, looking around and taking in everything that just happened. “That was not terrible for your first time.” I heard Jane say and looked around until my eyes landed on her. “Do you want some more?” She asked, tilting her head to the side.“I…” Finally, the events really dawned on me and I looked around at all the bodies. I knew I should feel sick from what I had just done, but I didn’t. Not physically. “This can’t be happening.” I whispered in horror, looking at the blood covering my hands and clothes. “Oh my god. Oh my god.” I stood up and noted, disdainfully, that I felt much better. I considered Jane’s question. But I could always go for more… “It will take some time to adjust.” Aro said sympathetically, his words pulling me from my disgusting thoughts. “Adjust?” I asked incredulously, looking at him. “I have a wife– well, fiance, waiting for me. She’s probably freaking out thinking I left her on purpose. And my– the twins. Frida and Tobias. They probably think I’ve abandoned them…” I shook my head. I tried to sob, but my body wouldn’t shed tears. Could I not cry? How do vampires release emotion? “How long has it been since you brought me here?” “Four days.” Aro replied. I took another look at my hands, barely noting my ring and paused. “My tattoos…” I rolled my sleeves up and my arms were bare. “What happened to my tattoos?” “They are expelled from the body during the transformation.” Aro replied calmly. “How are you feeling, Juniper? How is your thirst?” “Can I go back?” I asked, ignoring him. “Ingrid… she’s probably so worried…”“No.” Caius said sternly. “Does it matter? I am sure by now you can hardly remember what she even looks like.” His words hit me hard; he was right. I couldn’t remember any of their faces very well. They were just dull blurs in my memory. But I didn’t want to believe it. Could I force their faces back to my memory through denial? “I know exactly what they look like.” I hissed. We all knew it was a lie. “Gentlemen, why don’t you bring her to her new room? Take note of what she will want to decorate with and I will oblige.”Felix and Demetri flanked me and I looked at them. Demetri waved a hand for me to begin walking, but I didn’t. I looked at Felix, whose eyes were bored and looking anywhere but at me.“Let’s go, Juniper.” Demetri said, walking a little ahead of me. “I guess it would be easier for me to show you, hm?” - The room was huge with tall, beautiful stained-glass windows. The stone and marble it was made of was obviously original and I couldn’t help but marvel at it. Now that I had calmed, I noticed a new color I couldn’t recall seeing as a human. Demetri walked to the window and looked out thoughtfully. “It’s a little dusty but I am sure you can clean it up well, seeing you were a maid.” “I wasn’t a maid, I was an au pair. A nanny.” I replied bitterly. “Hm. Same thing.” Demetri shrugged, waving a dismissive hand. “Why is there no bed?” I asked, turning in a circle as I inspected the room. “Where will I sleep?” “Vampires don’t sleep, Juniper.” Demetri replied, his voice making it sound as if his mind were far away.No sleep? How were you supposed to pass the time? “I don’t want to stay here. I want to go home.” I said petulantly. “You are home now, Juniper.” Demetri said. “Stop calling me by my full name. Just… just June is fine.” I said in frustration. I was frustrated that I was frustrated and wondered if being irritable was a symptom of being a vampire. I moved around now, my curiosity taking over.They both followed me as I looked around the large, mostly empty room. There was a door and I walked to it. “What’s in here?” “Washroom.” Demetri replied indifferently. I opened the door and turned the light on. There was a large mirror on one wall and on the wall opposite, there was a very large claw-footed bathtub. I turned to the mirror and walked to it.This was my first time seeing myself since I turned. “Whoa…” I whispered, my hands moving to my face. I was so pale and my eyes were so red. I was still covered in blood and frowned for a moment until my eyes moved to my hands and I froze. My ring shone brightly and I sighed sadly. “Ingrid…” Felix sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes, and we finally made eye contact for the first time through the mirror when I glared at him. “So, what, you’re a lesbian, then?” He asked, crossing his arms across his chest. He tilted his head to the side as his eyes raked over my body. “What a disappointment.”I scowled at him through the mirror. “Seriously?” I scoffed, my eyebrow twitching in irritation. “What?” Felix asked dumbly with a small shrug. He looked at his coven mate to see if he knew what I would be upset about, but I knew it was an act.I turned around to face him, my scowl still present. “ Those are the first words you say to me? A stranger?” Felix shrugged his broad shoulders. “I was really hoping we could be playmates.” He said casually, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “It gets boring around here when you’ve already slept with everyone in the castle over the centuries, and it’s never been something to remember. You, on the other hand, look like you might be a decent enough lay.” Instead of letting this anger me outwardly, I feigned a sympathetic look. I put my hands over my cheeks as if I were blushing. “Oh.” I giggled. “Well,” I shrugged a shoulder lightly, pretending to look away bashfully for a moment. “Why don’t you come here and let me get a better look at you, sweetheart?” I asked, my voice smooth and thick like honey. I looked at him from under my lashes, and felt like an absolute moron. But, my act seemed to work. Was he really this gullible?Felix raised an eyebrow and gave Demetri a triumphant look. “Have I said ‘dibs’ yet?” He asked, his voice cocky, and he walked towards me. He looked down at me, smiling, his bright white teeth flashing handsomely. “Come here.” I cooed, holding my hands up to his face. His smile widened and I smiled back at him, delicately placing my hands on either side of his face. “Hm…” I hummed thoughtfully, caressing his cheeks with my thumbs. “I think I can find something for you to play with, babe.” I murmured, my smile fading.Felix’s brow now furrowed slightly as he looked at me curiously. “What would that be?” He asked with caution.I leaned my head back subtly before rocking it forward hard, slamming my forehead against his nose as hard as I could. This stunned me, and I wanted to stagger back a few feet but forced myself to stand my ground. “Your broken fucking face.” I spat. “Have fun playing Operation with yourself, you giant fucking douche.”Felix screamed loudly, stumbling backwards a few feet after I hit him, and brought his hands to his face. “Fuck!” He screamed again, storming out of the bathroom. “She broke my fucking nose!” He shouted from the other room. There was a sickening cracking sound as he replaced his nose and he growled in pain. "My poor, beautiful face." He groaned.Demetri stood in the doorway watching his coven mate’s meltdown for a moment before glancing back at me, slowly smiling. “I cannot say that that was completely uncalled for…”“You can’t say that was even fractionally uncalled for.” I said, my hand moving to my forehead. I turned around and saw a dark black spot surrounding a sizable crack on my forehead. “Holy shit. Will this heal on its own or do I need to feed?” I asked, turning back towards Demetri."No, you will be fine. Just give it some ti-"Felix walked back over, grabbing Demetri by the chest of his cloak. “We’re leaving.” He said petulantly. “Aw, sweetheart, wait up” I frowned, following them out of the bathroom. I tied my hair back while I waited fo Felix to look at me. Felix paused as I had hoped and threw me an expectant glance. “Already going to apologize?” He asked, looking me over. “Has my man-handling of Demetri awakened something in you?” I laughed at him, shaking my head. “I was just curious to know if me rocking your shit has made you realize you’re not the sex god you think you are?” I asked, my voice bitchy and condensending. “Maybe you should ask yourself; if all these centuries have passed by with boring sex then maybe it isn’t the people you’re sleeping with, right?”Felix scowled at me and clenched his jaw. “I’m–”  “The common denominator, babe. Maybe the problem is that you’re just really bad in bed.” I shrugged. I turned away and took my shirt off. “Demetri, would you be a dear and bring me a towel and maybe some new clothes?” I asked with a sigh, tossing my shirt to the floor. “I’d like a bath.” Demetri was smiling at me as Felix looked me over in irritation. “Don’t just stand there, go on.” I said and as I reached behind my back to unclasp my bra, I walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

A warm bath felt relaxing and it was nice to lay back against the porcelain and close my eyes. I was still grumpy over the fact that vampires didn’t sleep, and my mind wandered. How would I pass the time?

Read? It certainly did not seem like I could just go out and travel or do things on my own. Did vampires watch movies or television shows?

Demetri had been kind enough to fetch me some towels, some wash rags, and a robe. He was careful to be polite and not look at me as he stepped into the bathroom, setting my items on a small dresser. Was this a genuine kindness, or did he now live in fear for his own nose?

I laughed softly to myself but stopped when I heard some commotion in the room. “Demetri, what is Felix doing to my room?” I asked curiously.

Demetri paused, his back to me. “It is nothing to worry about, June. Enjoy your bath and take your time since you’ve got plenty of it now.” He turned his head just enough I could see him smile a little before he disappeared through the door.

Then, I heard my bedroom door open. “Where is Juniper?” I heard Alec ask. “We want to see her.”

“She’s in the bath.” Demetri replied informatively. “Leave her be for a while, come back later.”

“But we want to see her.” Alec said stubbornly. “Do we need to force our way in?”

“I will be out in a minute, will you wait for me?” I called.

“May we wait in your room?” Alec asked.

“Of course you can.” I smiled smally to myself. Just like Tobias and Frida. “I am just going to finish up and I’ll be out, okay?”

I heard my bedroom door close and dunked my head under the water. I could stay here as long as I wanted, couldn’t I? I didn’t need to breathe anymore, other than to speak. Or to smell. I wondered how it would feel to drink water or eat food, but now wasn’t the time to contemplate old human habits. I pushed my feet against the tub to push my head up and out of the water.

I wiped the dripping water off of my face and looked around with a sigh.

Hm, a human habit…

I thought to myself sadly. I pulled the drain plug and stood. I laid down one of the towels on the floor to stand on and took another towel to dry myself off with.

I ran the towel through my hair a few times and sighed, tossing the towel to the floor. I walked to the mirror and frowned at myself. “I

get

to start all over. Again. Lucky me, huh?” I whispered sadly. “Of all the human memories I get to forget,

that

trauma is not one of them. Again, how lucky?” I hissed and punched the mirror, completely shattering it and creating a small indent in the stone wall behind it. I rolled my eyes, groaning. “Oh, for fucks sake.”

“June, are you alright?” Demetri asked from the other side of the door.

“I’m fantastic.” I replied, my voice a little

too

thick with sarcasm. I shook my head and yanked the robe from the small dresser and put it on. “Get your shit together, you have two kids waiting to talk to you in the other room. Put your adult words away and focus.” I whispered, pressing my index and middle fingers to my temples as I closed my eyes.

I turned and mindfully opened the door, making sure to not break it. When I walked out I paused at the scene in front of me;

Felix was trying to shoo the twins off of the deep red, velvet lounge couch, fresh looking throw pillows in one arm as he held another throw pillow in his other hand, smacking the twins with it.

Demetri was near the window, looking out over the city as the sun set, ignoring the chaos happening on the other side of the room.

“What are you doing?” I asked Felix in annoyance, putting a hand on my hip and raising an eyebrow.

Felix refused to look at or even answer me. “Get off the damn couch.” He grumbled in frustration.

Alec, still sitting on the couch with his sister, turned to look at me. He set his small hands on the spine of the couch and sat himself on his knees. “Aro saw his broken nose and looked to see what happened.” He said.
I tilted my head a little. How would Aro see what happened? But Jane pulled me from my thought.
“Now he has to clean your room and fetch whatever decorations and accommodations you want.” Jane said, still sitting cross-legged on the chair and holding her hands up, hitting the pillow every time Felix wound it around to playfully hit her with it.

“Hm.” I hummed thoughtfully. “Felix, I think I would like the chair over there, by the window.” I said casually, waving my hand towards Demetri. “I think it would look nice over there.

Felix stopped his fussing at the twins and stared at the chair for a moment, seemingly gathering his thoughts, and picked the couch up with the twins still on it.

The twins smiled a little and looked at Felix who was keeping his face stoic.

After Felix set the chair down I sighed. “Actually, no, wait.” I frowned. “I think it should go there by the other window.” The twins looked at me knowingly, their eyes bright with amusement.

Felix clenched his jaw and picked the chair up again with a little more speed this time. He was clearly already annoyed.

This time, the twins’ smiles grew a little wider.

I held back a smile when I sighed again. “Hm, actually, put it back where it was. I’ll figure it out later.” I sighed, rolling my eyes dramatically. This earned me a giggle from the twins as Felix growled in irritation and lifted the chair one last time to return it to its spot.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and as I looked over, Demetri moved to answer it. He opened the door part way and quietly thanked whoever was there, taking some bags from them, then closed the door.

“I was unsure what you would want to wear, so I had Emma pick out several different options for you.” Demetri said, handing me the bags.

I took them from him and sighed. “Felix, I need a new mirror in the bathroom and the old one needs to be cleaned up.

Felix’s eyes moved to me, a scowl on his face. “Did you use your giant forehead to break it?” He asked.

This took my by surprised and my jaw dropped slightly as I put my hand to my forehead. “My forehead isn’t

giant

.” I said defensively.

“No, no. I am quite sure it’s giant.” Felix said thoughtfully. “I would know,

everything

about me is giant.” He shrugged casually, trying to hide a triumphant smile.

“And yet you still cannot satisfy a–” I stopped talking. What the

hell

was wrong with me? There were children present. Why was my temper so hard to control? I sighed heavily and stared him down. “You get the win this time,

only

because of the twins being around. But you know–”

“Or maybe you just want to have the full experience before finishing your sentence,

babe.

” He smiled obnoxiously and set the pillows down over the laps of the twins.

“I would rather give myself a lobotomy.” I replied sarcastically, returning his obnoxious smile. “Now if you would please go clean up the mess in the bathroom so I can get dressed.”

-
 
I was annoyed that my only clothing options were dresses with heels. I chose the deep violet dress that hugged my torso but flowed loosely on the bottom, the fabric ending just above my knees. The only heels I liked and knew I could walk in were the wedges and so I slid those on.

Felix had brought a temporary, long mirror that was now propper up against the bathroom wall and I looked myself over.

The heels made me four inches taller than my regular 5’4” height, and I liked the way the color of the dress made my shoulder length dirty blonde hair look a little lighter. I leaned in to the mirror, inspecting my eyes once more. “So weird…” I whispered.

“June, how much longer?” Alec asked boredly.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m coming.” I called. I walked out of the bathroom and frowned at Demetri. “Did you

have

to only get me dresses? I’m not a fan.”

“It looks nice.” Demetri shrugged. “Later we can go out and you can choose your own clothes.”

I nodded. “Well, for now I’d like to hang out with the twins.”

“Felix isn’t finished with your room.” Demetri shrugged. “Pretend we’re not here.”

Felix was changing out the old, dusty red velvet curtains for my requested black colored curtains, and had more dusting and sweeping to do before he brought in bookshelves for me to begin my book collection I always wanted.

“Won’t be hard to do.” I muttered in response and walked to the lounge couch. I gave the twins a small smile before speaking.  “Can I sit down with you? Or would you like me to stand, sit on the floor, or…?”

Jane and Alec looked at each other in silence before Jane shrugged. “You can sit with us.” Alec said, the two of them scooting to one side so I had room.

I kicked the heels off and sat down, folding my legs underneath me. “So, what would you like to talk about?” I asked kindly.

“Are you going to sleep with Felix?” Jane asked, looking at me curiously.

I raised my eyebrows and was speechless for a moment. “I–” I shook my head. “No. That is an absolute, resounding ‘no’.”

“Good.” Jane replied, looking over at Felix. “He always distracts whoever we bring home and we do not want to share with him anymore.”

“He always takes our mother away from us.” Alec said. “I find it quite selfish of him.”

“You two will have my full attention. I cannot imagine

how

Felix did that so often, he’s kind of lame.” I said playfully.

The twins smiled at each other briefly. “What is sledding?” Alec asked, looking up at me.

This caught me off guard and the smile faded from my face. I wondered how upset Tobias and Frida were right now and I looked down at my hands and anxiously picked at my nails. It took quite a bit of effort to not get up and walk away; they were kids, they didn’t mean to upset me.

Perhaps part of being a newborn was struggling to control your emotions and reactions. Impulsivity. Anger.

“Well,” I started quietly. I could already hear the pain in my voice and cleared my throat out of human habit. I slid my voice into my gentle tone I used with kids, but not in a way that would make the twins feel like I was talking down at them; I had a feeling they knew a lot more than regular human children and would feel slighted if I talked to them in too much of a kid-friendly voice. “You do it in the winter when there’s a lot of snow. You either find a hill or try to make a very big pile of snow so you can take your sled down it. Usually it’s like a…” I swallowed hard, images of Tobias and Frida racing down the hill running through my mind. “A sled is just a big piece of something you sit on and ride down the hill.”

Jane and Alec stared at me thoughtfully as I spoke, struggling to keep my voice from wavering sadly. “Do you miss the human twins?” Jane asked.

I nodded. “I do.” I replied sadly, but tried to smile for them. “It feels odd, because I can hardly remember their faces. A lot of my memories are so blurry, but there are some things I can still recall.”

“Will you always be so sad?” Alec asked. He reached out and took my hand in his. “We do not want you to be sad.”

If this body could shed tears, I’d likely have broken down sobbing. But, I kept my composure. “I will be sad for a while, I think. But it’s normal. I had a whole life that I need to move on from now. I know you two didn’t take me away with bad intentions, and I am not angry or upset with you.” I squeezed Alec’s hand carefully. “I hope you can be patient with me while I learn how to navigate this new life.”

Alec looked at Jane and murmured in what must have been old English, or something of the like, and she reluctantly took my other hand. He turned his eyes back to me and said, “we promise, but only if you promise to not try and run away.”

I frowned at him. “Is that what the others did?” I asked gently. The twins nodded in unison. “I am sorry they did that. I promise you I won’t run away.” I stared at them for a long moment before saying, “Can I tell you a little secret, though?” I whispered, leaning towards them. I knew Demetri and Felix could hear me, but it was just a human habit I had with Tobias and Frida.

Alec nodded and Jane tilted her head the other way.

“Sometimes I might feel like running away, or I might say I am going to. But it’s only because I feel alone and very afraid. If I talk about running away, it just means I need to have some time alone and that I am having a hard time… processing… my words and emotions. Does that make sense?” I asked, still whispering.

“Yes.” Alec replied simply. “But… why are you afraid?”

“Because I have to start my life all over.” I admitted honestly. “I have no friends or family here, I know no one. I do not know anything about being a vampire, either. Everything is brand new to me, and sometimes I am not good with change.”

Alec frowned a little and squeezed my hand hard. “Well, Jane and I will protect you. Everyone is afraid of us. And now you’re our new mother, so everything will be okay.”

I couldn’t help but laugh lightly. “Why are they afraid of you?” I asked curiously.

This made Jane smile. “Because of our gifts.”

“Gifts?” I asked, my gentle mom voice fading into my normal, adult voice. “What gifts?” I looked around. Did I miss something? Were they carrying something? “I don’t see anything.”

I heard a laugh coming from Demetri and Felix while Alec and Jane smiled.

“Some vampires have special… talents. But not all.” Demetri said from his perch by the window. Felix had, at some point, joined him; leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Like what?” I asked, glancing over at him.

The twins let my hands go and spoke quietly amongst themselves.

“Well I, for example, can track anyone to anywhere. There is nothing they can do to hide from me.” Demetri replied simply. "Aro can read minds by touching the subject."

“How does that work?” I asked curiously. "Your gift?"

“I can activate my gift, but do not ask me how, and I can see the essence of a person’s life. It is like a trail they leave behind, an imprint.” Demetri shrugged.

“Does their essence have a color? Or do you just see white, or black, or?” I grabbed one of the throw pillows and held it in my lap.

“There are a variety of colors. Sometimes they change if the subject has changed from human to vampire, or has died, or what have you.” Demetri replied. He tore his eyes away from whatever he was looking at out the window and looked at me. “For instance, your color is a very pale purple.”

“Is that why you chose purple clothes for me?” I asked. I suddenly felt awkward and uncomfortable. “Sorry if I’m asking too many questions. I just want to understand.”

“No one asks about my gift.” Demetri replied, giving me a small smile. “And yes, that is why I had them choose purple clothes for you. It is just out of habit.” His eyes moved back out of the window.

“Hm.” I frowned. “Well maybe later we can discuss your gift some more, but,”I looked at the twins. “I am curious, what are your gifts?”

Jane’s smile crept back. “Pain.” She replied simply.

Alec looked from his sister to me. “Sensory deprivation.”

“Oh.” I said, surprised and impressed. “What is it like?” I asked. “Will you show me?”

Demetri and Felix looked at me in surprise. “June, you don’t–”

“Oh, hush.” I waved my hand dismissively at Felix’s attempt to stop me. “I am curious and I think it will be okay. I mean, if it can’t kill me, then what’s the danger?” I shrugged.

“Why would you willingly choose to experience–”

“It’s none of your business, Felix.” I snapped, frowning at him. I saw him give Demetri an uncomfortable look, but he fell silent. “Jane, you can go first.”

Jane adjusted a little in her seat, excitement in her eyes.

Just as I was about to ask if she was going to do it, my body collapsed back into the couch and I screamed involuntarily. The sheer amount of pain was impressive and far,

far

worse than I had expected.

“Jane, enough.” I heard Alec say. A few seconds later, Jane stopped.

I was dazed as the vision came back to my eyes, the sound to my ears. “Wow.” I breathed, pushing myself back up. “Jane, that is amazing.” I said.

Jane smiled proudly and looked at her brother. “Your turn.”

Alec nodded at her. There was an odd mist that left his hands, transparent but dark.

I reached my hand out to touch it. “Wow, it’s so pretty, what–” Everything went black. I couldn’t tell if my body slunk back against the couch, or if I was still sitting. I couldn’t even tell if I was alive. If I existed.

And just like that, my senses slowly came back to me.

Well, I had fallen back against the couch, and I had to push myself up again. “I understand what you mean, now.” I laughed a little. “Your gifts are very impressive, both of you.”

“Aren’t you going to ask if I have a gift?” Felix asked casually.

“No, because you are going to say it anyways.” I replied, slightly annoyed. “Go on. What is it?”

“Can you guess?” Felix asked, smiling at me slyly.

“The perfect ability to annoy people so badly they want to throw themselves off a cliff?” I asked, feigning kindness in my voice.

Felix’s smile faded and he wrinkled his nose at me. “Strength, and fighting; anticipating an opponent’s moves. I am very good on the battlefield.”

I laughed at him. “You didn’t anticipate me breaking your nose.”

Felix frowned. “I was caught off guard. We weren’t fighting.” He grumbled, looking away.

“That’s a very poor excuse.” I shook my head. “You should

always

assume the worst. But now you’ve learned your lesson to never underestimate me.”

“Do we need to be careful, too?” Alec asked curiously.

“No, of course not.” I replied gently. “Felix is the only one that needs to fear me.” I smiled.

“You couldn’t beat me in a fight if your life depended on it.” Felix muttered.

“I won’t deny that.” I shrugged. “I have absolutely no experience or training, of course you would win.

But…

you’ll always be a little on edge around me and

that

is enough to satisfy me.”

There was a knock on my door and then it opened before anyone could answer. “Aro would like to speak with the twins.” It was the receptionist.

I smiled at the twins and took in a breath to say something, but the smell of the receptionist reached my nose and I lost all control. I leapt from the couch, running across the room but before I could reach the receptionist, everything went black.

Alec.

I couldn’t tell how long he had me in his deprivation mist, but when he released me, I was laying on the couch and the receptionist was gone. “Sorry.” I groaned, sitting up. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I looked around and noticed only Demetri and Felix were still in the room.

“The first year is the most difficult.” Demetri said. “Your impulse control will greatly lack, as well as heightened irritability.”

“That makes sense.” I replied with a sigh.

“We need to accompany the others in the throne room. Will you wait here for the time being?” Demetri asked, moving from his spot.

“I have nowhere else to go.” I replied with a shrug.

-

Being left alone was something I was not excited about even though I felt mentally exhausted. I moved to the window Demetri had been looking out of and saw it looked upon a small square just outside the castle with a fountain.

There weren’t a lot of people there, and the ones who were there were with someone else. Holding hands, hugging, laughing. Happy.

I looked down at my ring and found myself wishing again I could cry. I didn’t know how else to release the sadness that weighed on my heart. I scoffed. “Heart?” I whispered bitterly. “I don’t have one anymore. I should act like it.”

I wanted to take my ring off. To crush it in my hands and throw it in the garbage. But, I couldn’t. I never considered, in my human life, if vampires had the ability to love. At least, I couldn’t recall ever thinking about it.

My mind wandered and I realized I couldn’t remember my mother. Her face, if she was alive. Her name. Nothing. Did I have any siblings? Was my father in my life? Perhaps the things I cared less about as a human were the first for me to forget in this new life.

I tried remembering my tattoos, but I forgot those as well.

What was Ingrid’s hair color? It was blonde. No, no. It was brown. Did she wear it long or short? Tied back or free-falling? Did she also have tattoos?

It felt like the harder I tried to remember, the more quickly I forgot.

Despair washed over me and I walked backwards until my back hit the wall. I moved to sit in the corner, leaning into the wall and wrapping my arms around myself. I rested my head against the cold stone and closed my eyes. I wanted to just sleep and not remember. Remember…

I remembered

some

things. Too clearly. The pain of losing love several times. Who did I lose? I couldn’t remember. But I remembered it all too well. Not being good enough; not nice enough, not pretty enough, not feminine enough, not homely enough. Too rough, too masculine, too free-spirited, too careless.

I remembered building personas myself, over and over, into what people wanted me to be. And I remembered it still not being enough.

Not until Norway.

I left the United States and was able to build myself into someone no one knew. There were no chances I would run into someone I knew and crumble into my true hollow self. I was able to become a person who was great with kids, family oriented, concerned about all the right things, and loving.

Finding Ana and Josef was a blessing, and their children Frida and Tobias loved me unconditionally. The four of them saw me go through rough times while I was there, and they still chose me. For almost four years I was a part of their family.

And when I met Ingrid not long after I started working for Ana, I noticed that she

saw

me. She knew my insecurities, and she didn’t mind the facade I kept up outside of our relationship. With Ingrid, I was able to be myself. Mostly. Rough around the edges, free spirited, and not worrying about having kids of my own.

Until

she

herself started to prefer the facade. I was able to be myself less and less until I was constantly keeping up appearances around the clock. No breaks. But, I was happy, in a way. When she proposed, I decided I would be okay with my act until I died.

Everyone before her threw me away. And she still chose me, in a way.

But now I

have

died. I turned into a monster; uncontrollable thirst and doomed to kill humans for all eternity. Until the twins get bored of me.

Maybe it would be better for me to be myself so they could throw me away. That way I can be released from this hell I’ve been eternally damned to.

No. I should give them a chance. If they’ve been looking for someone, maybe I can fill this new emptiness in myself by being whatever they needed me to be.

At the end of the day, I just wanted someone to choose me. To want me around and want to keep me in their life by choice. Everyone liked me better when I was soft and kind and did everything possible to make them happy.

Perhaps this new vampire life

was

a second chance. I could mold myself into who I always should have been. If I was going to forget who I was as a human, what better opportunity than now?

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I had gotten up and wandered around the bare room and decided to close the curtains on the far side of the room. But, when I pulled on them, I accidentally tore down the entire rod. I groaned and picked the rod up. “Ridiculous vampire strength.” I muttered and looked up.

Well, at least the hooks were still up. All I had to do was climb up the wall and replace the rod over them.

I set the rod in my mouth, trying to be mindful to not crush it, and tested out climbing the wall.

The window was essentially a bay-type window; it jutted out from the regular shape of the building and there was a small nook, like a bench, to sit in. Around the frame of this were large, old slabs of stone that stuck out of the wall just enough for me to hold onto.

I climbed up the stones carefully, not wanting to break anything. When I got to the top, I heard two sets of footsteps enter the room.

“What are you doing?” Felix asked, amusement in his voice.

“None of your business.” I replied after taking the rod out of my mouth. I set it into the hooks and smiled. “Hah! See? Easy.”

“It’s uneven.” Felix said thoughtfully. “Very uneven.”

“What?” I tried to lean back a little to see. “Shut up, no it’s not.”

“It’s f–” Demetri tried to say something, but Felix punched him into silence.

I reached over and adjusted the rod a little. “I’m pretty sure that’s like… really even.” I frowned.

“No, no. You’re wrong.” Felix said and I heard him walk closer. “Maybe if you just…” He grabbed the curtain and tugged a little.

“Quit that!” I scolded, looking down at him. “You’re going to break it.”

Felix smiled and shook the curtain some more until the rod popped out from the hooks and fell into me.

Stupidly, I tried to catch it with both hands and was suddenly falling through the air. I gave a small shriek and threw the rod over my head as I tried to turn in mid-air to land on my feet. I fell hard against someone and knocked them to the ground, but still landed on my feet.

“Wow. Like a cat.” I said, impressed with myself.

Felix was currently covered by the curtain and flailed his arms until it was off of him. He was laying on his back, looking up at me bewildered. “Stop that.” He said grumpily.

“Stop

what?

” I scowled down at him. “You’re the one that keeps fucking with me. Maybe if you kept your

nose

in your own business, bad things wouldn’t happen to you.” I stood over him, my feet on either side of his waist.

“He was trying to continue looking up your dress.” Demetri said casually.

I gasped in horror and looked down at my dress, having forgotten I had one on. “

What?”

I hissed.

Felix shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips. “What? I have needs, babe.” He said, his eyes moving down my legs.

I regretted calling him ‘babe’ sarcastically earlier, as now, apparently, he would use it against me. I gripped the bottom of my dress, trying to hide myself, and raised my foot to stomp on Felix’s genitals. “You fucking per–”

Felix grabbed my foot and pulled forward hard, flipping me onto my back which caused me to shriek again. “I thought I told you?” He growled playfully. “You can’t win in a fight against m–”

I brought my knee up hard, catching him on his crotch and he groaned. I shoved him hard and he rolled onto his back. While he was distracted, I crawled on top of him, stradling my legs on either side of him and wound my arm back, my hand in a tight fist. “Eat this, you massive assho–”

“What are you doing?”

I froze and looked up wildly. Alec and Jane were standing near the door. “Kids.” I said in surprise and stood, side-stepping quickly away from Felix. I smoothed my dress and hair out and stared at them, still in shock. “I’m– nothing. I’m not doing anything.” I said dumbly. “What can I do for you tw–”

“Obviously she is teaching Felix another lesson.” Jane said simply to her brother. “Can you not see that?”

Alec tilted his head a little to the side. “I thought perhaps this was another form of Felix’s foreplay.”

If I were human, I would be furiously blushing. “You– you shouldn’t– how do you know that word?” I stumbled over my words and glanced over at Felix as he slowly lifted himself off the ground. “That is not something neither of you need to even be thinking about. And no, we were not– doing

that.”

I brought my index and middle fingers to my temples and closed my eyes.

“Are you angry with us?” Alec asked calmly.

“What? No, no. Not you two.” I shook my head. “I just… I apologize you had to see that. It’s not appropriate for kids your age.”

“June, they kill people and vampires for a living.” Demetri said casually. “Give them a little more credit.”

“Sorry.” I mumbled. “I guess it’s going to take a while to get used to shifting what I remember as age-appropriateness.”

“It’s okay.” Alec said. “We forgive you. We promised to be patient, afterall.”

“We came to take you out. Master Aro said it was okay.” Jane said. “He noticed you were unhappy with the clothes you got and suggested we take you to a store.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t have any money.” I said awkwardly. “I can’t–”

“Put your shoes on.” Demetri said, grabbing my heels and handing them to me. “You do not need to worry about money here, June.”

I laughed lightly through my nose and took my heels from him and slid them on. “Fine. Lead the way.” I said and waved my hand for them to go.

Felix adjusted his pants a little near his crotch and gave me a weary look. “I take the rear.” He said hesitantly.

“I’m sure you do, babe.” I whispered sarcastically and walked ahead of him.

Jane and Alec walked ahead, Demetri following, and I was walking almost in-step with him as Felix walked behind us. I wondered if it was annoying or difficult for him to walk behind everyone with such long legs. And then I wondered if it was uncomfortable for the twins to lead, but they did not seem to be bothered by much.

We stopped by the throne room for a moment, Demetri slipping in to grab something. There was a fabric over his arm as he came out and he handed it to me. “Here. You will get your own soon, but this should fit well enough.”

“Is it another dress?” I frowned.

Demetri smiled smally. “No, it’s a cloak. Like ours.” He replied. “You will need to wear it whenever you leave the castle.”

I unfolded the cloak and struggled a little to put it on. “Why?” I asked, looking down to try to focus on what I was doing.

Demetri reached out to help center the cloak on my shoulders. “Because it keeps consistency in our appearance when we leave during the day.” He replied, buttoning my cloak for me.

I watched as his fingers worked the fabric and buttons of the cloak. But I was surprised. “You can leave during the day?” I asked.

“We aren’t children, we don’t have a curfew.” Felix replied, rolling his eyes.

“A curfew?” I echoed in confusion, furrowing my brows at him. “No, dumba–” I paused, looking at the twins. “No,” I said more calmly. “I am just curious… vampires don’t burn in the sun?” I asked, trying to control my temper.

“Those are just rumors.” Demetri replied simply, looking at his work. “We have worked very hard over the years to set up a false view of what vampires are so we can more easily blend in.”

“So what happens when you go out in the sun?” I asked curiously.

“Still nothing good.” Felix said. “You don’t want to find out.”

Demetri threw him an annoyed glance. “Let’s go.” He escorted us to an elevator and he hit the call button. “When we are out, you may want to hold your breath, unless you’d like to go on a little killing spree.” He said, smiling a little at the end.

We piled into the elevator; Felix in the back corner then me and Demetri, and the twins stood in front near the door.

“Maybe I can frame Felix for it.” I shrugged, looking at Demetri. “Would that make me free of his obnoxious presence for eternity?”

“It depends on how upset Aro gets but it is a possibility.” Demetri replied, throwing me a sideways glance. “Would you like to try? Perhaps we can collaborate.”

I turned my head to look back at Felix from my peripheral vision, my hair flowing with my movement. “Sounds interesting.” I said and stood closer to Demetri. “Tell me more.” I whispered and turned my attention back to him.

“Well, if I may,” Demetri smiled slyly, linking his arm with mine.

I was a little surprised by this, but the annoyed scoff that left Felix’s mouth made me rest my hand on Demetri’s arm that he linked through mine and I moved in close to him.

“Perhaps if we–”

The elevator doors opened to the lobby and Felix quickly brushed by us, knocking me over into Demetri.

“Hey!” I said in annoyance.

“Oops.” Felix replied flatly.

I breathed in to speak but caught a whiff of a human and paused. “I–” Not by choice, my body tensed and I tried to run forward but Demetri placed himself in front of me, a hand on each of my shoulders, and pushed back hard.

“Felix!” Demetri shouted as I began to pushing him easily out of the way.

I heard Felix sigh and suddenly he was in front of me, one hand on my forehead and the other hand, somehow, already holding both of my wrists at once. Demetri replaced his hands on my shoulders and together they pushed me backwards into the elevator.

“Let me go!” I heard myself say angrily. When that didn’t work, I switched my act. “Thirsty…” I whimpered. Each breath I took sent a searing hot pain down my throat that made me feel more and more unhinged.

Demetri moved aside as Felix pressed his body against mine, completely pinning me to the elevator as I struggled against him. “Alec, do you mind?” Felix said boredly, his eyes staring into mine as I fought against him. His hands pinned my wrists far above my head, his arm now folded, his forearm pushing against my collarbone.

“You seem to have everything under control.” Alec said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

I squirmed and got one leg free, hooking it around Felix’s, my dress riding up. “Please.” I whimpered. Another whiff of human sent me further into purgatory. “I’ll be your playmate if you let me go.” I panted, growling in frustration in between trying to act sweet.

Felix raised his eyebrows. “Really?” He purred, pulling up on my wrists, lifting me off the ground. “Are you sure about that?” He asked, bringing his face close to mine.

I locked both of my legs around his waist and nodded. “Please.”

Felix must not have quite realized I was begging to feed, not begging for

him

because he leaned his hips forward, inhaling deeply and pressed himself against me.

The feeling of his erection as he moved against me somehow pulled me out of my trance enough to make me pause and look at him in disbelief. “Ew!” I squirmed in his grip, bringing my legs between myself and his torso and pushed against him hard.

Felix was still much stronger, but my persistence paid off as he slid further from me, bit by bit. “Alec!” He snapped as I twisted out of his grip.

I fell to the elevator floor and rolled under him between his legs and darted out into the hallway, trying to find the source of the blood I was smelling. But, before I could get too far, everything went black.

-
 
My vision slowly returned to my eyes and by habit, I blinked a few times. “What–” I sat up and looked around. I was on the floor of a department store. The lights were all mostly off and there wasn’t a human in sight.

“I apologize for my coven mate.” Demetri said, kneeling beside me. “Are you alright?” He asked.

The memories flooded back to me and I pressed my palms against my cheeks in embarrassment. “Oh my god…” I groaned. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“It is nothing to worry about.” Demetri said, waving a dismissive hand. “Let’s get you up and look at some clothes, hm?”

I let Demetri take my hands and pull me to my feet, even though I didn’t quite need the help. I looked around and saw Felix pretending to busy himself at the jewelry section, his large fingers carefully spinning the displays around slowly.

I wanted to go apologize to him, but Alec and Jane stepped in front of me.

“We have already picked out some clothes for you.” Alec said.

“They are close to what you were wearing when we found you.” Jane said and disappeared.

I followed Alec to the far section of the store and saw a massive pile of clothes. “Oh, that’s quite the selection.” I said, raising my eyebrows. “Let’s see what you got.” I walked over and Jane stopped me.

“The dressing room is over there.” She pointed off to the left. “I will bring you clothes and you will try them on and show us.”

“That sounds stupid.” I heard Felix mutter from across the store.

I glared in his general direction. “I think it sounds like a fantastic way to make sure I like the clothes you chose for me.” I said. “I will meet you at the dressing room.” I smiled and walked in the direction she pointed to.

“Twins,” Demetri called. “Would you like me to bring some shoes?” He asked, his voice kind as he spoke to them.

“Yes, please.” Alec replied, digging through the clothes absentmindedly while Jane chose clothes that looked good together in her eyes.

I heard Demetri begin looking through shoes, the boxes opening and closing, piling them in his arms. It was so odd to me that I could hear

so much

. I stepped into one of the dressing rooms and looked at myself in the mirror.

I couldn’t quite remember; did I look like this before? Did I look better like this, or as a human? What color were my eyes? Did my hair color change? I tried recalling the tattoos I had, but I couldn’t. At least, I thought I had them, but at this point maybe I was just misremembering.

I frowned heavily at myself and wanted to punch the mirror again, but Jane was suddenly there.

“Here is your first outfit.” She said, handing me some folded clothes.

Once I took them from her, she stood and stared at me expectantly.

“I will change with the door closed.” I informed politely and grabbed the door handle. Jane just stood there, staring at me as I closed the door and I laughed lightly once the door latched. I set the clothes down on the little bench in front of the mirror.

Demetri approached and set what sounded like a mound of boxes down next to my stall. “Here, Jane. I will go look for more.” He said and left again.

I took my dress off and set it on the seat. Let’s see here,” I said aloud, picking up the shirt. “Oh, I like this.” I commented happily. “It’s a deep purple turtleneck, and it is paired with black jeans.” I slid the clothes on and opened the door.

Jane, Alec, and Felix were standing outside the door; the twins looked at the clothes and then smiled at each other while Felix crossed his arms over his chest.

“It makes your giant head look bigger.” Felix commented flatly.

Jane frowned and looked at Felix. Suddenly he was bent backwards, choking on pain.

“You don’t need to do that, Jane.” I said, trying not to laugh. Jane released him from her gift as he fell to his knees, catching himself just before he fell flat on his face. “Felix is just projecting his own insecurities on me because he’s a bully.”

Felix scoffed. “I’m not a bully.” He grumbled, standing to his feet.

“You’re the very definition of a bully.” I insisted with sarcastic kindness.

Jane disappeared with Alec for a few moments before returning with more clothes. “Here.”

I took the clothes from her and smiled at them both. “I will be right back.” I turned around and walked back into the dressing room.

“Alec, Jane, am I a bully?” Felix asked curiously. “I think I’m a realist. Tell the newbie I’m not a bully.”

I rolled my eyes as I put on the next outfit; a loose grey t-shirt with dark blue jeans.

“Usually?” Alec replied thoughtfully. “No. But you

are

quite rude to June. I am surprised she has only broken your nose once.”

“The night is still young.” I whispered to myself and heard the twins giggle. I kicked myself mentally for my sarcasm towards Felix, and then again. What was inappropriate for them? Was I infantilizing them too much? I felt so unsure, and I stood, staring at myself in the mirror. My mind was far away, spinning slowly.

“June?” Alec called.

I was whipped back to reality and blinked. Well, in this moment, I suppose, it was good that my body couldn’t shed tears. I turned around and opened the door, giving the twins a smile. “Simple, comfortable, and nice. I love it.”

“We need to start a pile.” Alec said, looking around. “A pile to keep and a pile to leave.”

Jane set another pair of clothes in my arms and I was already apprehensive. “You do not like it?” She frowned.

“It’s too soon to tell.” I smiled softly at her. “I need to try it first to see if I like it.”

“Hm, I think that’s a good lesson. Have you ever given men a chance?” Felix asked obnoxiously.

I gave him a warning, measured look before I disappeared into the changing room again. Jane had handed me a bright, off-yellow dress with off frills at the bottom, covering my feet. This dress was ridiculous. I laughed quietly through my nose, looking at myself.

“Do you like it?” Jane asked.

I opened the door and walked out, trying to keep my face serious. “I–” I bit my bottom lip, trying to find words to gently let her down. “Jane, I don’t think this dress is for me.”

Jane's stoic face began to struggle with hiding a smile.

Ah, it was a joke.

Alec appeared out of nowhere with a very large, ugly gardening hat. “I think this would look lovely with the dress, June.” He said, his eyes shining as the rest of his face remained stoic.

I laughed and grabbed the hat from him, putting it on. “Okay, I’ve changed my mind.” I said. “This is the perfect outfit. I think this will be my wedding look.”

“You need the shoes to complete the look.” Demetri said, appearing with ugly running shoes and tossing them at my feet.

I laughed and knelt down, sliding them on. “Oh, yeah. Beautiful.” I looked up to see the twins smiling, and for the first time I gave a genuine smile that reached my eyes. In this moment, things weren’t terrible. I forgot about my lost life, and caught a glimpse of the life I could have.

These two kids needed someone to care for them, and I could do that. It would take a lot of work to understand them and know how to navigate any of this new life. But seeing their smiles gave me a strength, if just for a moment, to believe that maybe I

could

keep going.

But, what about romantic love? Who would accompany me in this new life? How could I build myself into a wife someone would want if I only had children to care for?  How could I stay strong for these kids if I didn’t have someone to help me be strong?

I couldn’t be strong on my own… Could I?

I paused and wondered what had happened to me in my human life that made me so desperate to not be alone, to want a spouse who would hold me and love me. Why didn’t it feel enough, in my heart, if I had adopted younger siblings? Or adopted children?

Flashes of blurred human bodies rose in my mind; a larger figure seemingly beating a smaller figure that laid motionless on the ground.

No, I didn’t want to remember. Not right now.

Then, frustration.

Why was I acting like this? Thinking like this? As I tried to recall my fading memories, I was sure I hadn’t been

this

weak in a very long time. My gaze fell to the floor and I frowned deeply.

“That was fleeting.” Felix muttered.

His voice pulled me from my thoughts and I stood, taking the hat off. “Let’s see what else we have, yeah?” I tried to smile again, but only a corner of my mouth lifted weakly. I tossed the hat on the floor and walked back to the changing room.

-
 
We spent several hours at the department store, the twins making me try on dozens of different outfits and shoes.

After that, we made our way to the jewelry section and I paused. “Why does this ruby look so different than this one?” I asked, moving my face close to the glass.

“Because that one is fake.” Felix replied simply, looking over my shoulder to see what I was looking at.

“But it’s priced as a real one.” I replied with a frown. “Oh my god.” I said as I realized how many of the stones were false. “There’s so many. You’re serious?” I looked up at him. “They’re fake?”

“This is the reality of human consumption.” Felix shrugged.

My eyes wandered back to the rings. I saw a ring that caught my eye and I gasped, pointing my finger too hard on the glass and cracked it. “Oops.” I stood up and took a step back, recoiling my hand back.

Felix shook his head and frowned. “You need to mind your strength.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just–” I walked back over to the glass, holding my hands against my stomach. “What’s that light purpley blue one?” I leaned back down, inspecting it carefully again.

“That’s a sapphire.” Felix replied, looking at it. “And yes, it’s real.”

I stood and stared at it for a long moment before nodding. I looked at my own engagement ring from Ingrid; a bland diamond on a bland, silver ring. “I see.” I tore myself away from the display and forced myself to keep browsing the store.

“Would you like something else?” Demetri asked, moving towards the necklaces.

“No, I don’t need jewelry.” I replied, smiling smally. “It just looks a lot prettier with these eyes. Or maybe my memories just make me remember the stones as duller than they were.” I shrugged.

The twins began looking at the jewelry, inspecting the stones curiously through the glass cases.

Felix moved on further down the aisle and held something up. “What about this?” He asked and  waved it to get my attention.

I looked over and glared at him. I looked at the twins to make sure they weren’t paying attention and went to Felix, snatching the black silk panties that had a laced border out of his hands. “Inappropriate.” I hissed. But I held the underwear up and paused. It

was

very cute.

“I think this would look better.” Demetri said, pulling out panties that were a deep red, no solid cloth except in the crotch, just lace.

Felix looked annoyed and I took the chance. I set the underwear he was looking at down and grabbed the one Demetri was holding. “It’s mine, then.” I shrugged. I ignored them both and continued browsing all of the panties, picking out the sexiest

and

plainest pairs I could find.

When I was done, I moved to the bras, inspecting them while very aware of two sets of eyes boring into me.

Felix and Demetri stared at me as I browsed and I paused, looking at them. When I did, they both looked away.

“Don’t you have something better you can be doing?” I asked, shaking my head and rolling my eyes. When my gaze lowered to the other shelves, I saw from the corner of my eye that both of them sported very obvious erections. “Oh, jesus. Cover yourselves up.” I scolded. “Go away.”

Felix and Demetri pulled their cloaks around them, laughing together, and meandered away, trying to busy themselves with whatever caught their attention first.

I glanced at them both briefly and circled around the shelves, grabbing the pair of panties Felix had been holding up. He didn’t need to know I liked his taste.

-
 
When we got back, all of my clothes were delivered, but I didn’t have anywhere to put them. The bags were piled in a corner of the room and I meandered to the lounging couch and sat down.

The twins seemed to have had enough social interaction and disappeared to wherever they spent their time.

Felix and Demetri were sent to some of the unoccupied rooms in the castle to bring a wardrobe and dressers for me to put my new clothes in.

While they did this, I dug through the bags and took out a pair of pajamas I couldn’t resist grabbing. Well, it was a nightgown.

It was light pink with small, printed donuts all over it. The length fell to my mid-thigh and the straps on the shoulders were thin.

I had laid my cloak across the back of the sofa earlier, but now I grabbed it and laid it over me like a blanket and laid down. I wanted the familiar comfort I remembered of laying in bed. Even if I couldn’t sleep, perhaps I could somehow rest. I nestled into the couch, my head resting on one of the throw pillows, and closed my eyes.

My peace was short-lived.

Felix walked in, a large wardrobe over his shoulder. “You’re not actually asleep.” He commented dumbly.

“Wow, really?” I asked sarcastically, not opening my eyes.

“Yes.” Felix replied simply. “I have never met anyone so poor at being a vampire.” He said in disappointment, setting the wardrobe down in the middle of the room.

I opened my eyes lazily and stared at him. “You’re leaving it there?” I asked, ignoring his attempted dig at me.

“You’re capable.” Felix shrugged.

Demetri walked in and brought the dresser over to the window he had been standing near earlier. “Where would you like this?” He asked, setting it down.

“She’s capable.” Felix said more sternly to Demetri. “Let her figure it out for herself.”

Demetri gave him a tired glance as he leaned against the dresser. “What’s happened to your chivalry?” He asked sarcastically.

“Nothing. Junie is just such a poor vampire already, it will be good for her to use and measure her strength.” Felix replied casually.

My eyebrow twitched at his variation of my name. I huffed in annoyance and kicked the cloak off of me. “I haven’t even been a vampire for an entire day and you’re already expecting me to be perfect?” I muttered, standing from the couch.

Both of the male vampires did a double take of my nightgown and then glanced at each other as I stalked towards the wardrobe.

“You want me to use my strength?” I asked in irritation, reaching out to grab the wardrobe.

Felix grabbed both of my wrists. “Do

not

break it.” He said carefully.

I wanted to defy him, to claw into the wardrobe and tear it apart and crush it into tiny pieces. But, I didn’t. I forced myself to relax and dropped my hands to my sides when Felix let me go. I looked around the large, stone room. “It doesn’t matter. There is fine.” I said, defeated. I carefully wrapped my arms around the wardrobe and Felix laughed.

I shot him a grumpy look and he set his hand on my shoulder, pushing me away. “You don’t need to hug things to carry them. Lift it, like this.” He said patiently, setting his hands on either side of the wardrobe, a hand on the back and the front of it, and lifted. “Try it.”

I placed my hands on it as he did and lifted. “Whoa.” It was so easy. Simple. I lifted the wardrobe easily over my head, almost slamming it into Felix on accident. My nightgown rose with my arms, the bottom of it now barely covering my butt. “This is amazing.” I laughed.

“Easy, easy.” Felix said nervously. “If you break this, Aro will have your head.”

“Hm. A good framing, don’t you think, Demetri?” I asked. “Felix’s head could be gone forever.”

Demetri chuckled lightly as I walked the wardrobe over and set it next to the dresser. “Would you like a blanket, June?” He asked, watching me begin to unpack the dozens of bags stuffed full of clothes and shoes.

I paused and looked at him. “Do you have one?” I asked curiously.

“I do not, but I think there are spares from the humans that used to work here.” Demetri replied.

“If they’re dead people's blankets, I would rather not.” I frowned. I opened a couple drawers carefully, organizing each drawer by type of clothing. “Besides, they’re probably gross and wool-y.”

“I understand.” Demetri nodded. “If you could have a bed, would you like one?”

I laughed through my nose, still focusing on my clothes. “That would be a big comfort.” I replied quietly. I grabbed the last shirt from one of the bags and the pile of my panties and bras I had stuffed into the bag spilled out, the black laced underwear Felix picked out showing. I stopped myself from gasping and I quickly shoved the panties back into the bag.

“We will be back later, June. Make yourself comfortable.” Demetri said and disappeared out the door.

Felix lingered in the room, and I could feel his eyes boring into me.

I kept my focus on my clothes, now setting the folded shirt into the drawer. I glanced nervously at the bag, the black lace panties barely peeking through.

“Felix.” Demetri called from the hall, and then they were both gone.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I do apologize for Felix’s behavior.” Aro said, glancing at the giant vampire briefly with a look of light disappointment. “He has a… reputation. And he certainly is not accustomed to being rejected.” He dropped my hand and clasped his own together.

I laughed bitterly. “That’s hard to believe.” I muttered, glancing at Felix as well.

Felix stood tall, stone still, with a stoic expression on his face. While he was working, he didn’t come off as unbearable. Or stupid. But, that was because he never opened his mouth.

Last night, he and Demetri had returned to my room and built my bed for me; the frame, headboard and footboard. They had gotten me a memory foam mattress set and Demetri picked out a lavender purple bedspread for me. He had even grabbed me a weighted blanket.

It felt like it was too much, but once they left and I crawled under those covers alone in the dark, silent room, it felt just right.

“Juniper, there is something I feel inclined to show you.” Aro said uncomfortably. “I hesitate, as your state is so fragile due to being a newborn. But, there is a slight problem…” He began to walk away and I looked after him in confusion.

Demetri was beside me and set a hand on my shoulder. “Follow him.” He instructed quietly.

“Oh.” I said dumbly and began walking after Aro. I moved too quickly and nearly bumped into him and grimaced. “Sorry, sorry.”

The twins appeared beside me and each of them took a hand, which caught me off-guard.

“We made a bet about what you would wear today.” Alec said.

“I knew you would wear the grey shirt. Your smile was biggest when you tried it on.” Jane said triumphantly.

“I was hoping you would have worn the purple turtleneck.” Alec frowned a little.

Both of them held onto my hands and now I realized; they were guiding me into a better walking pace.

“It was a tough choice this morning.” I replied, smiling. “I love them both equally. But I felt the turtleneck might be too fancy for everyday wear.”

“Or you’re worried about your giant he–” Felix stopped talking when Aro threw him a side-eyeing glance.

“Everyone dresses well in the castle.” Alec said. “You can wear anything you’d like.”

“Well then tomorrow I will wear the turtleneck.” I smiled again.

We walked down the hall and I caught a whiff of human blood and paused.

“Just hold your breath, dear. She will leave in a moment.” Aro said, waving us forward.

With great hesitation, I walked forward and kept my gaze on the ground. Alec and Jane must also have grabbed my hands to try to steady me. The closer I was to them, the easier it would be to paralyze me if I tried to kill anyone.

Aro spoke to the receptionist in Italian and she nodded, quickly walking away. She threw a nervous glance back at us before disappearing into the elevator. “Come and sit, June.”

The twins let my hands go and I suddenly felt self conscious. I brought my hands together, nervously picking at them as I mindfully walked over to the chair and sat down slowly, careful to not break anything.

“Do you remember Norwegian?” Aro asked carefully.

“I–” I paused. “I think so?” I shrugged, looking up at him. “Why?”

“There are many news stations…” Aro began and paused for a moment, frowning. “I think you should just observe.” He reached forward, using the mouse of the computer to play the video in the first opened tab.

I recognized her instantly. “Ingrid?” I whispered as the video began to play. “That’s Ingrid…”

It was just like in the movies. A crying lover, reading from their notes they wrote about the person who had gone missing. Law enforcement lining the back of the video, and tons of press.

“I do not believe that my June left of her own free will. She would never run from us. She built a life here and we were to be married. I ask, I beg, that whoever took her, please, release her. You can ask for any amount of money, and I will give it to you. You can take everything we own down to the last sock. I don’t care. Give me my June back…”

Ingrid's voice was hoarse and rigid from crying, her clear blue eyes reddened and swollen. Her long, blonde hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail.

“And June… if you see this or hear this. I am so sorry. I am so sorry our last moments together were arguing. I don’t care if you want to adopt kids tomorrow or fifteen years from now. I will wait for you. You are my forever.”

My hand moved over my chest and I pressed my palm over my frozen, unbeating heart. Dry sobs left me as I watched the video and I looked away, trying to hide my face from my peers.

“There is more, June.” Aro said quietly and played another video.

When Ana’s voice began to leave the speakers I looked over, surprised I could so easily recognize her voice still.

“Juniper has been a special part of our family for almost four years. She has helped raise our two children, Frida and Tobias–”

The camera panned over to the two children as they held hands and sobbed, Josef kneeling behind them, trying to comfort them. After a few seconds, the camera panned back to Ana as she continued speaking.

“For anyone who has any helpful information as to what has happened to our Juniper, we will reward you handsomely. Please, help us bring our girl home.”

Ana’s eyes were also red and swollen from crying, but she kept her voice clear and strong.

“And for whoever has taken her from us, know that I will personally see to it that you get the harshest arm of the law if you have harmed her in any way.”

The camera panned back to the twins who were now turned into their father, both of them hugging him. There was just the right glint of light on his face, showing that he, too, was weeping.

“Why are you showing me this?” I whispered, staring at the screen in horror. My body began to shake, silent, dry sobs rocking my body and I brought my hands to my face.

“We need to know if you can remember anything about them, something to make them give up on finding you. So they can move on.” Aro replied quietly. “So

you

can move on. We cannot keep you away from the news forever, and the longer this goes on, the more pain it will cause everyone involved.”

There was a hand on my shoulder and I recoiled, looking up. It was Demetri.

“I don’t know.” I whispered again, looking at the screen. The video ended and the play screen was black. I reached forward, scrolling down the video, my curiosity guiding me. Something pounded in the back of my mind, trying to be remembered.

Someone nasty, deserving of justice.

There were hundreds of comments. Dozens of those comments were accusing the perfect person.

“That’s it.” I said, my voice coming out more clear. “This guy, a locally known predator. A real creep, accused of killing a handful of girls but there was never enough evidence.”

Aro looked at me curiously. “How does he fit in?” He asked carefully. It seemed as if he knew, but he wanted to be sure of my requested crime to be committed.

I looked down at Ingrid’s ring on my hand and clenched my jaw as I considered for a moment. “I donated blood the day I was turned. It may still be in the blood bank at the hospital, I’m not sure.” I took the ring off my finger slowly. “You can…” I shuddered at the thought of losing this memento. “Take this and plant it. If you can find the blood, use that as well in his apartment. Maybe you can go into my old apartment and find more of my dna to plant?”

“Have you ever met him, June?” Demetri asked, looking at me oddly. “Can you try to remember him?”

“Well…” I frowned. “I can kind of remember running into him a few times. Maybe if I saw his face, if you could pull up a picture?”

“No, that was enough.” Demetri said and I looked up at him in confusion. “My gift,” he smiled softly. “I can explain later, but I think we should leave as soon as possible.”

“We?” I squeaked anxiously. “I don’t want to go.” I said quickly. “I can’t–”

“You weren’t going to, anyways.” Felix said oddly. “You’re undisciplined and a danger to others in this state. We do not need you.”

“Felix.” Demetri said sternly.

I stood from the chair and smoothed my clothes out. “If you’ll excuse me… I’d like to be alone. Good luck.” I said and brushed past Demetri and Aro and ran off to my room.

I wanted to slam my door. To destroy every mirror in the castle. Tear apart every bed and couch and wardrobe. I wanted to go around and punch out every window and scream from the very bottom of my lungs.

Instead, I walked straight to my bed and burrowed myself under all the blankets and pillows. I laid face-down, grabbing a pillow and screamed into it. I screamed again and again until I heard my door open.

There was only one person–or, rather,

vampire–

who would waltz in unannounced like that.

“Get out.” I said, my face still buried in my pillow.

“Aro is making me apologize.” Felix replied casually. His heavy footsteps echoed in the room as he moved. “You should open the curtains.” He said, walking towards one of the windows.

I sat up, looking at him wildly. “Are you insane? No.” I said.

Felix furrowed a brow and put a hand on one of the curtains. “Why not?” He asked slowly.

As he moved his hand to open the curtain I rushed to him, wanting to shove him out of the rays of sunlight. But, the sunrays hit his face just as I got to him and I paused in shock.

I stared at him for a long moment. “What–” I shook my head, my eyes looking at the beautiful, glistening prisms of color bouncing off of his face. I looked out the window and then back at him. “It doesn’t hurt?” I asked quietly.

Felix laughed lightly and stepped aside. He put his hands on my shoulders, moving me into the sunlight.

I flinched hard, closing my eyes to brace for pain. But there was none. Just warmth. I lifted my hand up and saw the glistening prisms now on my skin. “Wow…” I whispered in wonder.

“It’s not all bad, you know.” Felix said quietly, extending his hand out next to mine. “There is a lot of good that comes with this life.”

I stared at his hand next to mine, just now really noticing the size difference between us. I smiled a little and was suddenly very aware of how close he was behind me. If I leaned back just an inch, I could rest against him. But, I didn’t.

The prisms on our hands danced together, momentarily making me feel like I was in some cheesy romance movie.

But, this moment felt right. Complete. Whole. I basked in the warmth of the sun as the beautiful lights of colors bounced off of our skin. I found myself starting to smile slowly. There was no pain, in my heart or my mind.

“Junie…” Felix began with hesitation. “I’m really sorry about the life you were taken from, and what you had to see. But the sooner you just forget about it, the sooner you can move on to better… things. You don’t need to get so hysterical over the past anymore, it’s over.” His voice was gentle, but his words hurt.

What was a sweet, tender moment had just turned sour. Even if he hadn’t intended it.

My eyebrow twitched in irritation at his choice of words and I brought my elbow back hard, hitting him in his gut.

Felix groaned and fell forward onto me, trying to brace himself against the wall.

I ducked under him and grabbed the back collar of his jacket and yanked hard so he fell on his back. Then, I dragged him across the floor and out of my room and dropped him to the hallway floor. “If you come in my room again without permission, I’m going to break much more than your nose.” I said and stomped back into my room. I closed the door loudly and shuffled over to the window.

I stuck my hand into the warm sun rays through the window again, looking at my glistening skin. I smiled a little and caught myself, my face quickly turning into a scowl. “Stupid idiot asshole.” I muttered and closed the curtain. “I wish I could sleep. Sleep forever and just never think of this again…”

There was a knock at the door and silence. Another knock.

“Felix, I’m not letting you back in.” I called, annoyed. I threw a glare towards the door, clenching my hands into tight fists.

“It’s me.”

Ah, Demetri.

I went to the door and opened it a little. “What?” I asked flatly.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier. I understand how difficult it is to leave a whole life behind, and to have to have those images now so fresh in our mind must be painful.” Demetri said, his eyes watching me sincerely.

“It’s fine.” I shrugged, trying to force myself to be emotionless. Uncaring.

“We will be back in a few days, if you need anything, you can–”

“I’m fine, Demetri.” I said shortly. Felix was right, that life was behind me. Or, it needed to be. “It doesn’t matter anymore, it’s over.”

Demetri frowned as I closed the door.

When I turned around, I noticed a folded blanket on my dresser. My brows knit together as I walked over to it. “That wasn’t here before…” I noted quietly, picking it up.

The blanket was very large, made of polyester microfiber; very,

very

soft, and it was a deep purple color. Was it Demetri? But I would have seen him put it here.

I brought it to my face and inhaled deeply. It smelled of Felix. He must have brought it in and set it down just now, his large body accidentally hiding it from my view when he went to open the curtains.

I knew Felix meant well, but god damn did that giant moron need to learn how to use his words properly. My mind wandered back to our hands shining together in the window and I smiled again.

Maybe I could forgive him. Silently. Secretly.

I went back to bed, burrowing under the blankets, holding my new blanket in my arms and hugging it tight as I curled in a ball on my side. I closed my eyes, pretending to sleep. I lightly tapped my fist against my chest in the rhythm of a heartbeat and made myself breathe regularly.

Each inhale brought in the scent Felix left behind on the blanket and it made another tiny smile crawl over my face. I nuzzled my face into the blanket, reveling in its softness. With my eyes closed, face gently rubbing the blanket, and the weighted blanket plus the others on me, it almost felt like I wasn’t alone.

-
 
Morning had left, and it was late afternoon as I continued to lay in my little ball, rhythmically tapping my chest and cuddling the new blanket.

I only paused when there was a very light knocking on my bedroom door. “Who is it?” I called cautiously. Did the others leave? Who was bothering me?

“Corin.” A gentle female voice responded quietly. “And you’re Juniper, right?”

“Just… June. And I don’t know you.” I called skeptically. “Leave me alone… please.”

Corin gave a small laugh. “May I come in?” She asked.

“No.” I replied, frowning.

“Stubborn girl.” Corin commented playfully. “Aro wants me to extend my services to you if you’d like.” She said and paused. “That… did not sound the way I wanted it to.”

This made me laugh a little. “What are your services?” I asked curiously.

“I can tell you if you let me in.” Corin replied, a smile in her voice.

My curiosity got the best of me and I slid out from under the covers, leaving my soft purple blanket hidden beneath. I went to the door and opened it a few inches, peeking only half of my face through. “I don’t want anyone in my room anymore. But… I can come out. Will you still tell me?”

“Hm.” Corin hummed thoughtfully. “You don’t look quite as miserable as they said.”

I was a little taken aback. By her comment, but mostly by her appearance. I had expected someone my height, but Corin was

tall

. And she was wearing heels. I looked her over slowly; those heels had to only be three or four inches, and she looked to be almost six foot three in them. If I had to guess, that is. I let go of my bedroom door and it swung open a little wider as I stared at her.

Her long, dark, wavy hair was worn down, the length reaching down just passed her shoulders. She wore a dark emerald dress that was velvet, the length fell to her mid-calf and on one side it was slit open to her upper thigh. The dress was sleeveless and backless, the top of the dress completely covering her chest and tying behind her neck.

When my eyes wandered back to her vibrant red eyes, she smiled. “Well, are you coming?” She asked, her eyes now wandering over me.

I suddenly felt severely self conscious; my hair was just a bland, dirty blonde that fell to my shoulders. My clothes; the plain grey t-shirt with jeans, made me feel awkward and underdressed. I wore no shoes or socks, and stood only at five foot four inches. “I’m–” I choked on my words at her beauty. “I don’t…”

My thoughts had all left me. Except for one.

She was like the female version of Felix. Well, visually.

This sent me through many stages of emotions; disgust at the comparison, confusion as to

why

I was even making that comparison, irritation that I was thinking of him with this goddess standing before me. And then, suspicion.

“Did Felix tell you to do this?” I asked, furrowing my brows at her as my eyes narrowed.

Corin looked at me in confusion. “Felix? Why would he? Anyways, I haven’t seen him in weeks. I wouldn’t care to, either.” She murmured the last sentence with a sigh, looking at her nails with a bored expression. “An obnoxious, insufferable little prick, he is.”

I couldn’t say I disagreed. “How do I know I can trust you? That this isn’t him ‘just making sure’ I’m ‘a lesbian’?” I asked cautiously.

Corin’s eyes moved to me quickly and she smiled. “So, the rumors are true, then?” She asked curiously, dropping her hand to her side. “You broke his nose and have rejected his advances?”

I scoffed and set my hand on the door handle. “He’s very annoying and I really dislike his company.” I said in annoyance. “I’m not going to spend my free time talking about him. Bye.” I swung the door closed but Corin reached out, her hand splaying across it.

“I’m sorry. If you’re still interested in talking about things that aren’t Felix, I’d be happy to show you around while we chat.” Corin said, smiling a little. “It’s just, so far there isn’t one person that Felix has pursued that has rejected him. Including me.”

I frowned deeply, feeling an odd pang of jealousy. “You slept together?” I asked, wrinkling my nose.

“He was very convincing, but what was more convincing was my realization that there are two things I am not interested in; cock, and anything that comes out of Felix’s mouth and body.” Corin replied, looking genuinely regretful and disgusted as she recalled the memory.

I laughed at this and looked behind me at my dresser. “I guess I could put on some socks and shoes. There’s nothing else I’m doing, anyways.” I shrugged. “Can you wait a second?”

“I’ll be here.” Corin smiled.

-
 
I followed Corin more easily than I was expecting. I expected to be stumbling to keep up with her long legs but, my vampire reflexes were on my side. Mostly. I had a hard time keeping a normal pace with her, walking too quickly or too slowly.

The frustration must have been apparent on my face.

“Don’t worry, the more you move around and test your strength, the easier it gets to control.” Corin said encouragingly.

“I feel like I’ll never get the hang of it.” I frowned. “My emotions are way worse. I get angry and frustrated so easily.” I looked down at my hands as I walked. “I just wish I could go back…”

“No, don’t do that.” Corin scolded softly. “I understand it’s easy because as a newborn, you’re far less stable, but try to catch yourself when you feel that sadness rising. Try not to let it control you.”

“I’m trying.” I replied, sighing. “To be honest, my biggest struggle I worry about is with the twins…”

“Well, if

I

can be honest, I don’t really know the story. Rumors, you know.” She shrugged. “Let’s go this way to the library, there is a nice seating area there.”

I followed her, taking the turn down the hall. “Well, I’m honestly not totally sure myself.” I started thoughtfully. “But, I guess the twins were looking for a mother? And saw me when I was on my nanny shift. Two twins, actually. Maybe that’s what caught their eye…” I laughed through my nose, my gaze falling to the floor. “I was just walking home and suddenly I was bitten. And now I am here. I don’t even know exactly how long it’s been.”

“I heard your transformation took about five days. It was quite difficult for the others to smuggle you here while you turned. You know, with the screaming and writhing.” Corin said, opening a door.

I walked through and looked around for a moment before spotting the seating area. “Yeah, I remember that part.” I mumbled, sitting in one of the chairs.

Corin moved one of the chairs close to mine, setting it at an angle to face me, and sat down. “So, what about the twins is causing you trouble?” She asked, looking me over curiously.

“It’s nothing they’re doing wrong.” I replied with a small shrug, staring at the empty fireplace. “It’s just me. I’m the problem. I just have this inherent… instinct? Memory? Of childcare from my human life. And I feel like the violence and vulgar language that has been seeping from me isn’t good for them. I feel like I am indirectly hurting them with the rude ways I interact with Felix.”

“Are human children not regularly exposed to such behavior?” Corin asked, tilting her head with a furrowed brow.

“Well–” I paused, chewing on the inside of my lip in thought. “No. I don’t think so. I don’t remember Firda and Tobias having to face death or violent behavior or… anything like this. Obviously it depends… but being a child as a vampire is going to be drastically different than being a human child, and I don’t know how to… manage behaving appropriately.”

Corin watched me curiously as I spoke.

“It sounds so stupid saying it out loud.” I laughed uncomfortably. “I just want to be good enough for them, and I just wish I knew exactly what they needed.”

“You seem to be too worried about what

they

need, and not about what

you

need.” Corin said bluntly. “Besides, if I may,” she sat forward in her chair, leveling with me so I would look at her. “I think the twins need someone who is in control of their emotions and strength. Physically and emotionally.”

I looked down at my hands, nodding silently in understanding, as well as mild shame. I was being ridiculous. While I knew this, I still struggled with control. But apparently this was normal.

“The twins have gone through dozens of potential mothers who constantly underestimated them. Patronized them. Tried running away or lying about their affection. The two of them are… extremely unique. And they have struggled a lot trying to find a gentle, loving mother figure who isn’t afraid of them.”

Perhaps that’s what pulled us together? The inherent need to have someone who loves you for you. Except where I desperately tried to change myself into who others needed, the twins refused to change. They stayed true to themselves, and to hell with anyone who didn’t like them.

I felt an odd sense of inspiration from the thought.

If there was anything such as fate, perhaps

that

was why our paths crossed? Was it time for me to stop being so pathetically desperate and trying to constantly be changing myself? Was this my time to finally explore who I really was?

But, how could I know who I was if I couldn’t remember my human life? Is any part of the personality I have now tied to who I was before? Did it even matter? This was a fresh start, was it not?

“It will come back to you.” Corin said, seemingly knowing what was on my mind. “A lot of us go through the same thing, you know. Especially in the first few months or years as a newborn. It takes a while for us to remember who we were. What we liked, disliked–”

I looked at her wildly. “

Years

?” I echoed unhappily. “I don’t have that kind of time.”

Corin’s lips curled into a humored smile. “You do, actually.”

“No.” I scowled at her and stood. “I don’t

want

to feel like this for

years

. I’d rather–”

“There’s the temper again.” Corin said calmly as my voice began to rise. “Reign it in. You have to start getting control back at some point, so start. Now.”

I clenched my jaw and stared at her. “Fuck you for having a point.” I hissed. I looked down at my chair, unsure if I should stomp off like a child or sit back down and heed her advice.

Corin chose for me.

She stood and put her hands firmly on my shoulders and pushed me down into my chair. “When the boys are back, you can learn how to let your frustrations out physically.” She said, trying to comfort me.

I looked at her with a frowning scowl. “Meaning what, exactly?” I asked angrily.

Corin laughed. “I keep misspeaking, I’m sorry. I just mean that when they return, you can request to train with them. You know, fighting.” She sat down on the arm of my chair, laying her arm across the back of it. “Physical release is

very

important.” She said, trying to hide a smile.

Yet another moment I was sure I’d be blushing deeply if I were still human.

“And in the meantime?” I asked carefully.

“Think a lot about how you’ll begin to navigate this new life.” Corin gave a small shrug. “The more you focus on how you want to control your emotions and reactions, the more it will be at the forefront of your mind.”

I slumped back in the chair. “Reminds me of some vague human memories I have from being in therapy. I think I went through a lot of that. So much for it now…” I turned my head and shoved my face into the cushion. “I wish I could just be normal without the work.” I groaned.

“Normal?” Corin laughed lightly. “Honey, I don’t know how you haven’t noticed, but there

is

no such thing as normal. At least not here.”

“I don’t want to do this.” I groaned petulantly. “This is too much. I didn’t ask for this.”

Corin sighed. “I will give you two hours to wallow in self pity. After, I’m going to make you chant stupid mantras about love and positivity until the sun sets.”

I laughed at her and moved my head, peeking up at her. “Sure.”

Corin was smiling down at me. “You think I’m joking?” She asked slowly.

“Are you going to roll out a yoga mat and make me do stretches, too?” I retorted playfully.

Her lips twitched as she looked at me, her eyes slightly revealing the wild thoughts that must be spinning through her mind. When she said nothing, I raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing to say to that?” I asked curiously, moving in the chair to sit sideways to look up at her better.

Corin reached out with her free hand and touched her index finger under my chin. “I am trying to behave.”

“Is that… another misspeak?” I asked cautiously.

“No.” Corin replied quietly.

“Is it possible I’m misreading what you’re implying?” I asked again.

“No.” Corin replied again, smiling.

“Is this just a… ‘new meat, gotta try it’ situation?” I asked curiously.

“You intrigue me, but perhaps you being… new meat… is fueling most of my curiosity.” Her lips curled into a sly smile. “Does that upset you?”

“I think… usually it would. But I also think my overwhelming sense of loneliness and desperation makes me not care.” I responded honestly. “But if it’s alright, I’d like to wallow in my self pity for a while and then talk to you some more. I mean, it’s not weird if I want to know you more before… I mean, if we…” I swallowed hard at the implication.

“I am not opposed to establishing an emotional connection.” Corin responded coolly, standing up. “I will leave you to wallow. Would you like a little snack when I come back?”

I felt myself salivate at the thought of feeding, but felt it was wrong to kill someone.

“I understand.” Corin said, studying me curiously. “We can come back to that later. Happy wallowing, June.”

-
 
It was

very

difficult to try and focus on wallowing at first. All my mind could think of was the feeling of her index finger under my chin, or her hands firmly on my shoulders.

But then the feelings of inadequacy began to sink in. Even when it came to anything casual, I felt I wasn’t good enough. And it was frustrating.

In that frustration, it was easy to spiral.

This

was

my new chance, but did I really want to spend years trying to rebuild a family? A community? What happened if the twins didn’t want me and threw me out instead of destroying me? I couldn’t go back home. I mean– I couldn’t go back to Ingrid.

Or could I?

Could I go to her and turn her? In the video she said it herself; I was her forever. So maybe I could convince the twins to turn her, too. Then we could be a family together; the twins could be our adopted kids and we could live forever like this.

Was it possible to get her now?

No. I had just been looking at Corin with lust, and now I was thinking about getting Ingrid to be turned into a monster like me. What was wrong with me? That was selfish and wrong.

I couldn’t bring Ingrid into this life. Or this castle. She needed to live a normal, human life. To grow old and have kids and die. To be buried in the Earth and her soul having the chance to find another long, happy life.

So now I was back to square one. Would it always come to this? Only a few short years with people you love and then a painful separation that forces you apart, and then needing to rebuild your life from the ground up?

How tiring. And to imagine having to do this for eternity.

I already felt tired. I wanted peace. Maybe my only option was to purposely upset the twins so I could find that peace.

No.

I balled my hands into fists and stood up angrily. “I can’t just give up.” I hissed quietly. “I at least owe it to Alec and Jane to try. They meant no harm, it’s not fair if I just give up before I’ve even started. I can worry about rebuilding later. I should give these kids what they need…”

I looked around and moved to the closest bookshelf. “Distractions. Or…” A thought came to my head.

What was Corin’s gift? If Aro had sent her, it must be something that could help quell my despair. Or distract me...

I felt no temptation. If I were to work through this new life, I would do it by my own sheer will. Using gifts felt like cheating. And besides, I enjoyed her company. I didn’t need some gift to make me feel better, at least not when she was around.

My eyes lazily skimmed through the book titles, nothing in English catching any interest. I decided to grab a science book that had to be at least several hundred years old.

“Not easy on the eyes but it’s something, I guess.” I sighed and sat at the table.

So much for wallowing.

-
 
“Did your wallowing end early?” Corin asked as she strolled into the library. She was in different clothes now; a baggy black t-shirt tucked into mustard colored corduroy pants.

I looked up from my book. “It did. About an hour ago.” I replied simply, double-taking her outfit. She looked beautiful even in these simple clothes. I watched her walk over, her long hair moving as she did.

Corin smiled at me and sat on the table. “See? Progress. Now, are you ready to repeat some of the most annoying mantras you’ve ever had the displeasure of hearing?”

“Nope.” I sighed, slapping the book shut. “Let’s get to it.”

“That’s the spirit.” Corin smiled. She patted the table space next to her. “Come on up, cub.”

I raised an eyebrow at her and smiled, sliding my chair back. “Where’s the yoga mat?” I asked, sliding up on top of the table.

“Use your imagination.” Corin shrugged and laid back, swinging her legs gently back and forth as they hung off the table at the knee.

I laid down and mimicked her, raising my eyes to the painted ceiling of the library.  The ceiling was beautiful, but it didn’t quite catch my eye like Corin did. I turned my head and saw she was looking at me. “So?” I asked, smiling shyly.

“What do you remember?” Corin asked curiously, looking me in the eyes. “From your life before?”

I frowned and looked away from her, raising my eyes to the ceiling. “I thought I was supposed to move on.” I commented quietly.

“Sorry. I don’t encounter many newborns, and human life is a curious thing.” Corin frowned, and I saw her turn her head to look at the ceiling as well. “Can you let her go?”

I chewed on my bottom lip. I knew who she was asking about, and it hurt. But I wasn’t about to let it make me regress, I had to keep moving forward. “I have to.” I replied quietly. “If I have any chance at starting over, I need to let it all go.”

“If the twins end up liking you– and, honestly, I think they will– you’ll have a home here in Volterra.” Corin said, looking at me again. “You have a good heart, cub. I can see why they chose you.”

“You don’t even know me.” I replied awkwardly. “How do I have a good heart when I…” I paused and looked at her. “When in the same breath, I want to bring Ingrid here, but want to feel your touch?”

Corin lifted herself, leaning on her elbow as she looked down at me. “You’re in a foreign place with a bunch of strangers, as a creature you had no idea existed. I would say trying to find solace in another’s touch is the most basic type of coping mechanism.” She said, shrugging a shoulder.

“I guess.” I said, studying her beautiful face.

“You know what proves your have a good heart?” She asked, smiling down at me.

I shook my head.

“The fact that I have been coming on to you, and you still haven’t given in or made a move.” She placed her hand gently on my shoulder nearest to her. “And you know what else? You’ve been able to talk about your past, even a little, without getting angry.”

“Well… I guess.” I shrugged, feeling awkward over the praise.

“Now is time for the mantras.” Corin said excitedly. “Repeat after me, cub; I am strong and kind.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “I really don’t think this is necessary.” I groaned, cringing already. I looked at her contemplatively. “Can I choose the heartless coping mechanism?” I asked, only partially joking.

Corin hooked a leg around my waist and leaned in, our noses almost touching. “Be my guest.” She whispered.

I slid my hand, cupping one side of her face as I looked her in the eyes. I wanted to lean forward to kiss her, but… I couldn’t. I dropped my hand and sighed. “I can’t.”

“Thought so.” Corin smirked and laid back down on the table, looking up at the ceiling. “Why haven’t you asked me what my gift is yet?” She asked curiously.

“I figured if it’s something to alleviate what I feel, then I don’t want to use it.” I replied simply. “I am sorry, though. I should ask you more about yourself. I–”

“I can make anyone feel content, or happy, no matter where they are.” Corin began suddenly, her voice serious. “There are very few circumstances in which I can’t help someone. For example, Marcus. The loss of a mate carries too much despair for me to cut through.”

“A mate?” I asked curiously, turning my head to look at her. “Like a soul mate?”

Corin laughed lightly through her nose. “We don’t believe we have souls, so just ‘mate’, but yes. We only ever find one mate.”

“Sex doesn’t make you a mate, does it?” I asked curiously. “I mean, you and Felix…”

Corin sputtered a genuine laugh and shook her head. “No, no. That would be miserable to have him as a mate for eternity.” She turned her head to look at me. “To be honest, I don’t know what exactly makes a pair a mate. I’ve been in love before, and I’ve had deep connections. But, I haven’t found my mate.”

“Maybe some don’t find mates.” I shrugged as we still looked at each other. “I think that’s okay. I mean, if you can still love someone, then what’s the point of a mate?”

She looked away from me. “A mate is the ultimate love. You can move on from normal love, and find it again. But a mate is the only person who truly will understand you. They see you for who you are, underneath all the hiding and fear, and still love you despite it.” Corin’s voice was gentle, wishful, and…

“Why do you sound so sad?” I asked, frowning.

“Because I babysit the wives and in the early days, I saw what it was like to have a mate. But…” Corin swallowed hard. “Well, anyways... I don’t get the chance to meet new vampires, it’s very rare. And I feel like I will never find that connection.”

“Why can’t you?” I lifted myself onto my elbow, trying to look her in the eye.

“Because my gift has an addictive quality. The wives can’t go very long without it. I feel like I’m stuck here, doomed to be surrounded by people who aren’t truly happy. People who don’t truly want

me

.” Her voice was pained as she spoke. “No one who

sees me

.”

“Fuck…” I whispered quietly. “I’m sorry, Corin.” With slight hesitation, I moved and laid my head on her chest, hugging her with one arm. “I promise I won’t make you use your gift on me. Even just as friends or acquaintances, I’ll choose to see you.”

Corin slid an arm under me and hugged me back. “Thank you, cub.” She said softly.

In this moment, it didn’t matter what the future held. Corin and I both needed someone to hold as we processed our negative emotions, and so we decided to be there for each other.

-
 
Hours later, there was a knock on the library door, causing us to reluctantly stir in our spots. We hadn’t spoken, or kissed, or anything. We just laid there together in comfort.

“Good evening, Corin. June.” It was Aro. “Are you two enjoying yourselves?” He asked kindly.

We both sat up, looking at him with small smiles.

“Is there something you need?” Corin asked lightly.

“The wives are requesting your… presence.” Aro replied awkwardly, trying to force another smile.

Corin sighed and slid off the table. “I will see you again tomorrow, June.” She said and smiled softly at me.

I nodded at her, unable to smile. “See you.” The disappointment I felt at Aro’s interruption was heavy.

As she went to exit, Aro made her pause and she set her hand in his. After a few moments, Aro dropped her hand and dismissed her.

“Are you trying to isolate me? Or did they really need her?” I asked, watching him walk over.

“They do really need her.” Aro responded oddly. “How are you?” He asked, tilting his head as he looked at me.

“I’m…” I shrugged, shaking my head. “Managing, I guess.”

“I see you did not want to use her gift.” Aro commented casually. “I am impressed… the other mothers the twins chose begged Corin to use her gift. Others requested she lie and say she was so they could plan their escape.” He held his hand out. “May I see if your words are genuine?”

I laughed in mild disbelief, but set my hand in his.

It was an odd sensation; I was aware of the thoughts and memories he was accessing, but I couldn’t quite hang onto each visual as he did.

“I see…” Aro said thoughtfully. “I look forward to seeing what you bring to our coven.”

I found myself already wallowing again and focused on bringing myself back. “Yes, sir,” was all I could manage to say.

“You will do great, June. You’re already making a lot of progress that we don’t tend to see in ungifted newborns.” Aro said encouragingly.

“Ungifted?” I repeated flatly. “Then why did the twins choose me?” I asked, looking at him. “I mean, what made them choose me over Ana? Or any other actual mother?”

“You have a pull, June. Nothing significant to be considered as a gift. But, it seems even as a human, those around you loved you and felt safe with you.” Aro began, moving his gaze to the floor as he recalled the twins’ memories. “Frida and Tobias, from what I could tell, looked at you as an extension of their mother. The twins observed you for some time, and you were with those children more than their parents were.”

My gaze fell to the floor as well, taking in his words.

“Alec and Jane saw the unconditional love you gave those children, even when they were very unkind to you. And that’s what drew them to turn you and bring you back.” Aro said gently. “I cannot apologize enough for what they have done to you, but I can see that you hold no resentment towards them. I am glad that I do not need to convince you to forgive them like I had with the others.”

“I will stay. For them, and for Corin. And to give this new life a chance. You don’t need to worry about me trying to escape.” I said reassuringly.

“I know.” Aro smiled smally. “I saw.”

“Right.” I nodded, laughing awkwardly.

“Thank you, June. For giving them a chance.” Aro said and moved towards the library door. “I have some work that needs to get done, I will see you another time.”

I waved and he was suddenly gone. I looked out of the windows and saw it was black as night out.

It still felt odd, not needing to sleep. And I still found myself wishing I could just take a small cat nap.

“Books are always a good distraction.” I murmured, standing from the table. I had grown bored of the book I was reading when Corin arrived and moved to the shelves. “Lots of time to waste, and lots of material to read.”

And so, I would spend the whole night going through each shelf of the library.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Most of my night had been spent in the library, looking through book titles, taking mental notes of which might be interesting to read.

At some point, Aro had returned to check on me to make sure I wasn’t too afraid to go into the hallways. He thought I was worried about there being humans, but I was only bored.

“Do you–we– have any language books here? I think that might be a fun way to spend my time, I’ve always liked languages.” I said awkwardly.

“Why don’t I get you something to write with and you can write down which languages you’d like to learn. I can have books delivered, or if you’d prefer, I could find tutors. It does not take too long to learn, not as a vampire.” Aro smiled at me. He was gone, suddenly, and I was left standing in the library.

“Okay.” I said slowly and walked over to the table that Corin and I had been at hours prior. I pulled my chair out and sat down, resting my chin on my hand as I propped it on the table. I wondered what Corin was doing now, and felt a little jealous that she was surrounded by other beautiful women.

Aro was back quickly, a notebook and several pens in hand. “Try to be mindful of your strength when writing. I have brought extra pens just in case, I figured pencils are far too fragile.”

“Thanks.” I said, and Aro was gone.

So, I took my time thinking of the languages I wanted to learn, and in what order.

It wouldn’t hurt to brush up on my Norwegian.

What else? Could I remember what I had been interested in before? I frowned, looking down at the notebook paper. What did I like?

“Stop. This is a new start. Just… pick stuff.” I muttered to myself, shaking my head.

I picked up my first pen and tried to write, but snapped the pen in half. I paused and rolled my eyes at myself as I felt frustration pressing inside my mind already. “Try again, calm down.”

I picked up another pen, being extremely mindful of my actions. And, I wrote, almost absentmindedly;

Greek, Ukrainian, Russian, Dutch, Polish, Spanish, maybe Latin?, Welsh, G–

My thoughts were distracted when I heard a noise and I froze. I looked up from my notebook to see Caius walking through the library.

Caius paused and scowled in my direction. “Do you need something?” He asked harshly.

“No, but you do.” I said, flicking the notebook closed.

“And what would that be?” He asked, turning to me.

“Manners.” I replied bluntly and stood, grabbing my notebook and pile of pens. “And maybe a good lay. Your face will get stuck like that if you… well,” I laughed briefly. “Actually, it may already be stuck like that. Nevermind.” I turned on my heel and walked out of the library.

-
 
I took another bath, the water as hot as it could be. Several times I dunked myself under the water and marveled at the fact that I didn’t need to breathe. I could go to the ocean and dive as much as I wanted, with only having to worry about the pressure of the deep crushing me.

Well, was that even a real worry? Did I need to worry about sharks? What could and could not hurt me?

I washed my hair; not because it was dirty, but because I wanted to wash the scent of Corin off of me completely. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy her scent, but when I laid under my blankets, I wanted to keep the clean scent of Felix on my blanket.

I frowned at the thought of him and pushed away the thoughts that rose in my mind of how handsome he was, how his stupid boyish grin moved something in me that I didn't

want

moved. I held my hand out in front of me, remembering our moment of calm near the window.

My mind wandered to his failed attempt at trying to soothe me; perhaps he was just a giant idiot with poor communication skills. Corin’s comforts to me seemed not so different from the general sentiment he was trying to give, but she was far better at using her words.

I scoffed and slapped my hand into the water, unplugging the drain. “He isn’t trying to be nice. He’s trying to get laid, that’s why he isn’t using his words well.” I muttered, standing and stepping out of the tub. “If he wanted to be nice, he’d be coherent about it.”

And yet, as I dressed in sweatpants and a baggy shirt, and dried my hair, I couldn’t help but feel the excitement of going and laying under my covers, being able to inhale his scent.

How comforting would it feel to be held in his arms? For his large hands to gently press my head into his chest, his long fingers running through my hair. What would it be like to–

“Stop it, jesus.” I hissed, turning around to toss my hair towel over the edge of the tub to dry. “If you’re horny you have a perfectly available

woman

.” I never needed– nor craved– the touch of a man. Well, not until now.

Ah, I needed something to distract myself with.

I walked to my dresser and opened my notebook. I grabbed a pen, immediately broke it, and stared at my hand for a long, disappointed moment. “I have to think about literally everything, every single second.” I muttered and tossed the broken pen aside, grabbing a new one carefully.

“Hm, well, shower hooks and a towel rack would be good.” I said, writing. “Some bookshelves would be great. Maybe I could start my own collection if it wasn’t a burden. I wonder… a desk, maybe?” I scribbled more as I thought. “If there’s something I can do to contribute– a job or something.”

I sighed already bored of thinking. There were too many waking hours for me now, and at this point in time, I was basically confined to this room and the boring library.

I wanted to lay in bed and roll around in the soft blankets, but I resisted. I looked around, lost. “I should be using my time wisely.” I sighed. “What can I do?”

Practice had to make perfect, right? I could work on my strength, or my walking. Or both.

I spent hours– and I only knew this by how far the sun moved– working on my walking. Back and forth in my room, in circles, figure eights, random patterns. Part of me was surprised there weren’t little pathways worn down in the stone when I got bored and paused, staring at the floor.

Perhaps I could go back to the library and find something else to read. Something to focus my mind on.

I grabbed my notebook and the pens, shoving the pens into my pocket and walked out into the hall, gently closing my door.

This wasn’t so bad. A big, beautiful castle filled with beautiful people. Or, really, vampires. A potential beacon of support already being established, and god was she fantastic. Well, from what I’ve known of her so far.

I entered the staircase to go up one floor and paused nervously outside the door leading to the new level. I could hear a heartbeat. Could I sneak by the receptionist without worry?

As I stood and mulled over my options, I unknowingly opened the door and began walking through and panic set in.

Don’t kill the fucking receptionist, you idiot,

I hissed internally. I paused just a few meters from her. I saw, on her desk, a name; Cecilia.

Okay, don’t kill Cecillia. I’m sure she has a family of her own that would miss her,

I said to myself internally.

Cecilia stood, smiling, and greeted me in Italian. Her tanned skin was smooth and beautiful, and my eyes moved to the pulse in her neck. She had dyed auburn hair that was up in a messy bun, stray strands of hair framing her delicate face. Her eyes– green– watched me carefully.

Don’t. Kill. Her.

I swallowed hard and looked away down the hall and tried to force myself to move. My feet felt like I was trudging through cement as I forced myself to move forward and

not

towards the beautiful, delicious…

Stop it.

Cecilia frowned at me, asking me something in Italian. When I didn’t respond, she moved out from behind her desk and walked towards me. “Are you alright?” She asked, her voice thick with an Italian accent.

I held up a hand and shook my head. “No.” I said stupidly with the breath that was already in my lungs. Shit.

“Do you need me to get Aro?” She asked, her brows knitting together.

I took in a breath to tell her no, but her scent sent me over the edge and before I knew it, I had her bent over in my grasp and was biting down into her neck.

Cecilia screamed and squirmed in my grip as I began to drain her.

I frowned, annoyed by such a sound, and snapped her neck. I followed her limp body to the floor, my teeth still sunk into her skin as I drank from her. I let out a low moan and closed my eyes as I dropped her.

“Well, that is quite unfortunate.”

I gasped and stood, turning to see who was behind me. “Caius…”

“I actually fancied her a bit. Oh, well. I will send someone for the body. We have a tour coming in soon, we wouldn’t want to frighten our buffet, would we?” Caius looked like he attempted to give a smile, but his face only twisted in mild disgust.

Well, at least he tried.

-
 
Night had fallen again and the hallways were empty. I fed with the others, but did not feel comfortable standing around while foreign vampires were here to see Aro about a problem they were having.

There was also no sign of Corin.

I was grateful that Aro had extended the offer to use the receptionist's desk since everyone was out, so I took the chance to look up the videos again. Not to watch, but I wanted to read the comments.

The thought occurred to me earlier that day while practicing my walking; how would people know to look in that man’s house? Did Demetri have a plan already? Surely Felix would have no thoughts of value to add to this situation, and the twins were just kids.

It amazed me how much I could absentmindedly recall how to use technology. Though, I couldn’t remember my own email or log in information to anything. So, I made a new one.

I wanted to become involved, to pretend to be an anonymous member of the community and push for the suspicion towards that man– what was his name?– so his home could be searched.

Anxiously, I made my new, fake email and moved over to the video site to make an account there. But, I paused. Could my information get traced? Would anyone think to trace me if I pushed hard enough for this fake crime to go to trial?

I sat and stared at the computer screen anxiously. “What do I do?” I whispered to myself. I felt useless, just sitting in this giant castle not doing anything at all.

The phone next to me rang suddenly and I jumped. My eyes looked at the phone skeptically before hesitantly, and carefully, picking it up. “Hello?” I greeted awkwardly.

“June?”

It was Demetri and he sounded surprised.

“What are you doing at Cecillia’s desk?”

“Well, it isn’t her desk anymore.” I replied awkwardly.

“Why not?”

Demetri asked curiously. When I was silent, he understood.

“Ah, I see. In any case, I was hoping to get to you, so that doesn’t matter. We were able to plant everything needed in Gary’s home. But we need a plan to get the police to search it.”

“Is there like a VPN or something on the receptionist’s computer? I was actually just going to start trying to somehow push the community online to get the police to search his house.” I said, absentmindedly scrolling the page up and down with the scroll wheel on the mouse. “A while back, I was looking into his cases and that’s when we ran into each other a few times, because he was trying to intimidate me. I–” I paused. Wow, that memory just came out of nowhere. I was impressed.

“You should be able to safely start that process. We are very careful. If you can do that for us, we can begin our journey back.”

Demetri sounded anxious to leave, which made me laugh a little.

“What, are you not enjoying the beautiful December weather in Norway?” I asked teasingly.

Demetri laughed.

“We may be immune to the cold, but it does not mean we enjoy such conditions. I will let you go and start your task now, so we can get to the plane. I’d like to come home.”

“Hey, wait. How are Alec and Jane doing?” I asked.

“They are doing well, albeit very bored. We will see you soon, June.”

“Okay.” I sighed. “See you guys later.”

“Well, look at you.”

I jumped again and looked over. “Corin.” I smiled, standing up. “I was worried, I didn’t see you all day. I’ve been waiting for you.” I said, the phone still in my hand.

“Sorry. I thought perhaps you wouldn’t want to see me after last night.” Corin replied, sitting on the desk next to me, crossing her legs politely. Tonight she was wearing a dress again; dark teal. The top of the chest and sleeves were laced and the hem of the skirt stopped mid-thigh.

I reached behind her to set the phone down on the receiver. “Why wouldn’t I?” I asked curiously, looking at her beautiful face as I was leaned forward.

“Because of what I have to do for the wives. To keep them complacent here in the castle so they stay safe.” Corin shrugged, trying to be casual. “I worried that maybe you would feel like I’d trap you here as well.”

I smiled at her and tucked her hair behind her ear before sitting back down. “Corin, the twins have already done that.” I teased. “Besides, I thought our little, um…” I trailed off. Was calling last night a ‘cuddle season’ weird? “Well, I just thought that last night made it clear that we could just… be in this hell together.” I shrugged, looking from Corin to the computer screen.

“Good.” Corin replied simply and smiled at me when I looked up at her. “I’d like that.”

I smiled smally at her, and brought my eyes back to the computer. “I have to do some detective work and help my fi–

ex

fiance– solve my murder. It probably won’t be very exciting, but if you wanted to hang out while I do, I wouldn’t mind.” I tried to sound casual, but I could already feel the itchings of codependency descending upon us.

“Tell me one thing before you start.” Corin said seriously.

I raised a questioning eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Did she taste good?” Corin asked, trying to hide a smile. “I have to admit I am a little jealous, she looked quite tasty.”

I laughed at her and playfully smacked the back of my hand on her knee. “The taste was not as satisfactory as the smell would have led me to believe.”

Corin, likely unconsciously, bit her bottom lip gently and looked me over. “Scent can be quite enticing sometimes, can’t it?” She asked.

For the first time since I turned, I felt myself begin to get wet.

Ah, so it is possible…

I noted inwardly. My eyes fell to her legs, which she had crossed, and I imagined just for a moment ripping her panties off and spreading her legs right where she sat, burying my face between them.

“Something on your mind, cub?” Corin asked, her voice suggestive.

My lips twitched into a small smile. “I am just trying to behave.” I said, echoing her sentiment from yesterday. I tapped my finger lightly on the curve of the mouse as I greatly considered just giving in. But, it wasn’t the right time. I stopped my tapping and rested my finger on the plastic, sliding my finger up and over the scroll wheel.

“Your self control is impressive, if not slightly disappointing.” Corin noted playfully as I looked away from her.

“The tension will just make it all the better later.” I shrugged lightly, smiling wide but keeping my eyes on the computer screen. “The sooner I can implant suspicion, the sooner I’ll be… available.” My eyes flicked to hers quickly, smiling as I saw she sat there still smiling at me.

Corin sighed dramatically, uncrossing her legs. “Wouldn’t you like to play, first?” She asked, spreading her knees only a few inches apart.

I laughed through my nose, trying to keep my composure. “I told Demetri I would do this, I should stick to my word.” I replied, my voice wavering a bit as I struggled to just keep my eyes on the computer screen.

My mind ran completely blank, every comment I was going to write just flying away slowly from any direct thoughts. I set my left hand in my lap and blinked, trying to focus.

“Maybe with each comment you make, you get a reward?” Corin suggested, moving her legs a little further apart. She playfully and lightly kicked the side of my thigh with her calf.

I bit my bottom lip and gently grabbed her ankle. “If I ask for any elaboration, my self control may crumble.” I said, my hand sliding up to her mid calf. My eyes slid to hers and smiled again as I saw her smile. “Stop it.” I laughed, letting her go.

Corin frowned at me. “Put your hand back, let my imagination run wild while you act boring with your little crime set up.”

“And what about

my

imagination?” I asked in playful defense. “How am I supposed to know what to write if my hand keeps slowly inching its way higher up your leg?”

“That’s a problem for you to figure out.” She teased, scooting over the desk to sit partially in front of me. After kicking off her heels, she sat diagonally, laying her left leg across me.

I laughed and now placed my hand on her inner knee, holding onto it. When I took a breath to speak, her scent took over my senses and I paused. She smelled sweet and soft, my mouth salivating. “You’re going to drive me insane.” I whispered, swallowing hard.

Corin used her right foot to hook around the chair I was in and brought me more centered between her legs. She laid her hands flat on the desk behind her and leaned back a little. “Then maybe you need to play with me to regain your focus?”

My eyebrow twitched in temptation as I pushed my chair away from her. “Give me fifteen minutes and this mouth is all yours.” She kept her left leg across my lap and I moved it so her foot rested on my knee. I hugged an arm around her leg, resting the side of my face against her knee.

“You’re such a good little girl.” Corin said, playfully pouting. “It’s maddening.”

I laughed and turned my face, moving her leg to kiss the inside of her lower thigh. “You’re the one who encouraged me to have a grip on my self control.” I teased quietly, kissing a little higher. I made eye contact with her as I placed one more kiss, about five inches from her sex before I moved her leg back so I could rest my cheek against her knee and was finally able to focus.

“You’re doing very well.” Corin praised gently, letting me get to work.

We sat there in silence as I typed away with one hand, my other hand gently gripping her calf as I rubbed my thumb along her skin affectionately.

I had planted several comments on different forums on various websites;

I was a close friend to June. She told me how she was investigating Gary’s cases and that she had to stop because he caught on. Ingrid might remember the details. Seek her out and ask her.

It almost felt like I was a ghost solving my own murder. Except, really, I was framing someone else for my murder. My murder was, in fact, committed by two small vampire children. But, the world wouldn’t believe it. Nor did they need to know.

I was moving on. I think.

I exited from the open tabs and shut the computer all the way off and stared at my reflection in the black screen almost sadly. I sat back in my chair, my hands falling away from Corin as my mind began to feel lost.

“Hey…” Corin sat forward and cupped my face in her hands. “It’s going to be okay. You’re okay. Life goes on for everyone.”

It was true, but for some reason it still hurt. Everyone always moved on; break ups, deaths, accidents. Whatever it was, time would dull the pain. Well, for most people.

I felt horror at the prospect that maybe anyone I knew

couldn’t

move on. That they might– no. It was ridiculous of me to think anyone loved me enough to be destroyed

that

much over my death.

“Let’s go for a walk.” Corin said, sliding off the desk. She put her heels on and pulled me from my chair. “Come on, cub.”

I reluctantly let her take me from my seat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get weird.” I said in disappointment.

Corin took my hand and held it tightly. “You’re not doing anything wrong. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’ll be mourning that life for a while. Besides, you should be proud of how well you’re managing. You haven’t gotten angry once since I showed up.”

I smiled weakly. “It’s hard to get angry with such lovely company.” I teased, but the emotion didn’t quite hit the notes I wanted.

Corin gave me a sympathetic look, but when she tried to speak, I interrupted her as I stood.

“I should go. Sorry…” My gaze fell to the floor and I hurried off on my own, leaving Corin behind confused.

-

Several hours went by as I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I forced my mind to relax, empty, as I reminded myself over and over; there was nothing more I could do.

The only thing to make me stir in my spot was a gentle knock on the door.

I could smell her from my bed. “Come in.” I called awkwardly and turned my head to watch as Corin slipped in.

“How are you doing, cub?” She asked, walking over with a bag in her hand. “I have brought some gifts.”

“Gifts?” I raised an eyebrow, sitting up. She reminded me of a cat who brought random things home. “What gifts?”

“Well, there are some rubber bands, these weird spinny things, a disposable camera with three photos left, and this tennis ball. And, hm,” she dug around in the bag more but I grabbed the tennis ball.

I tossed the ball, mindfully, at the wall and it bounced back to me. I caught it an threw it again, and again.

“I see you’ve made your choice.” Corin smiled, tossing the bag of assorted items aside.

“I have.” I said definitively and smiled at her. “Thanks.”

Corin laid down next to me and dragged me down with her when I caught the ball. “Will you give me attention, now? Or are you transfixed on your new toy?” She teased, laying partially over me.

I smiled at her and set the tennis ball aside. “If you ask nicely, I might be able to divide my attention equally.”

Corin smiled down at me and leaned in, kissing me softly.

I moaned in surprise and reflexively put my hands on either side of her face. I pulled her closer, deepening the kiss and gave another small moan as her tongue gently played with mine.

Corin broke the kiss to smile. “You taste delightful.” She purred.

I laughed and pulled her in for another kiss. “Well, don’t stop.” I murmured in between small kisses.

“Is this the end of your impulse control?” She teased, her hands sliding under my shirt as she gave me a deep kiss. “Or do I need to loosen you up some more?”

“You’ve only just unlocked this level of affection. You can enjoy just this for a while.” I teased back.

-

Corin and I had spent out time in each other’s embrace, kissing endlessly for a while before grabbing the tennis ball and throwing it against the wall. We switched between these two oddly paired activities for hours, only the sounds of the ball bouncing and our intimate giggles echoing in the room.

“Hey, stop!” I laughed, reaching over to try to snatch the ball out of Corin’s hands. “You little thief.”

“You need to pay your taxes.” Corin said, holding the ball far from me.

“I just paid them. Where’s the IRS? This is fraudulent.” I rolled to my stomach and pushed myself up, crawling over her and reaching for the ball.

Corin flipped us over so she was on top of me and leaned in, giving me a heated kiss. “I

am

the IRS.” She replied slyly.

I laughed and cupped her face in my hands, pulling her in for another kiss.”Well, I guess I’ll just pay the extra taxes, then.”

I heard the creak of my bedroom door opening, but thought nothing of it as I was lost in Corin’s touch. Until…

“Do you have room for another?”

That cocky, obnoxious voice belonged to only one vampire.

Corin rolled off of me and we both looked towards the door in shock.

“I thought I told you not to come into my room.” I hissed, frowning. I grabbed the tennis ball and whipped it at him, but he caught it.

“You may want to get decent, I was sent ahead to warn you the twins are on their way. I see why now.” Felix said, his expression mostly bored. He threw the ball back and Corin reached out, grabbing it before it hit me in the face.

Only a few seconds later, the twins appeared in the room as I stood from the bed.

“Hey, you two.” I greeted, feeling a surprising amount of relief to see them. “I missed you, how was it?”

“Boring.” Alec replied, frowning.

“We didn’t even get to kill anyone.” Jane said, her face was emotionless but her voice betrayed her disappointment.

I couldn’t help but give a small laugh. “Well, maybe next time you can.” I replied.

The twins both eyed Corin uneasily, looking between us both.

“Is something wrong?” I asked, kneeling in front of them. I watched them carefully, looking for any hint of what may be causing them to be uncomfortable.

But, they were honest.

“Are you using Corin’s power to feel better?” Alec asked bluntly.

I raised my eyebrows. “Oh– well, no.” I shook my head, looking back at Corin. She had laid down in my bed, throwing the tennis ball in the air and catching it over and over. I looked back at the twins. “I’m just… enjoying my time with a new… friend.” I explained awkwardly.

The twins spoke briefly in Old English before looking back at me.

“Will she distract you from us?” Alec asked, almost sounding jealous.

“No, not at all.” I replied honestly. “She has been helping me learn to cope without her gift, actually, so I can be more myself with you two.”

Jane looked at Corin. “And have you learned anything useful?” She asked, looking back at me.

“I would like to think I have.” I nodded, smiling at her. “I have been working very hard on my impulsivity. I even have been spending time learning to control my strength and walking pace.” I noted proudly.

“I think Cecilia would disagree with your claim of improving on impulsivity.” Felix said lightly.

I rolled my eyes, giving him an annoyed look. “No one asked you, bigfoot.”

Corin and the twins snickered at this, and Felix frowned deeply at me. “That’s a myth.” He said argumentatively.

“Will you show us?” Alec asked, raising his eyebrows. “Have you made progress?”

Glad to have the opportunity to ignore Felix, I stood up and walked at a normal human pace to my desk. “See?” I smiled. I picked up a pen and scribbled randomly on a page of my notebook. “You’d never be able to tell I’m a vampire.” I smiled, but my smile fell when I accidentally snapped the pen in half. “Okay… maybe not yet.” I frowned, staring at my hand in disappointment.

The twins giggled at my failure.

“Well, that is better than where you were at a few days ago.” Alec concluded.

“It was very impressive, June. We are very proud of you.” Jane said seriously, only a tiny hint of teasing in her voice.

I bowed comically. “Thank you, thank you. It’s taken hours of practice.” I stood back up quickly, my hair flipping behind me as I straightened out.

“I couldn’t tell.” Felix remarked, his arms folded across his broad chest as he leaned against the doorframe.

“Hm, another instance in which no one asked you.” I retorted and looked at Corin. She was still laying in bed, pretending to be interested in inspecting the tennis ball in her hands.

“Kids, Aro would like to see you.” Demetri said, appearing in the doorway.

They both frowned as they looked at him.

“We will see you later, June.” Alec said. “We would like to take you somewhere pretty tonight.”

“I look forward to it. I missed you two, I can’t wait to go on another adventure together.” I smiled at them.

They both disappeared out of the door, Demetri going along with them.

I walked over to Corin and sat down. “Are you alright?” I asked quietly, running a hand through her hair. “Do you not like to socialize?”

Corin set the ball down and smiled at me. “The twins and I don’t have the best track record.” She replied softly, taking my hand and kissing it.

“Probably because you destroyed numerous relationships between them and their potential mothers.” Felix said in annoyance.

I turned and glared at him. “Why are you still here?” I asked bitterly. “Always butting in when no one asked.”

“I was hoping I would see some more action. My cock is feeling a little lonely.” Felix shrugged.

I clenched my jaw and moved to stand, but Corin grabbed my arm and kept me in place.

“Don’t let him get to you. Remember what we talked about, cub.” Corin said gently.

Felix’s eyebrow twitched. “Cub?” He laughed condescendingly. “I see you are still recycling the same pet names for your toys.”

“How ironic of you to be calling an interest of mine a toy.” Corin retorted. You’ve thrown away more women in the last decade than I have in five centuries.”

“At least my toys know their place.” Felix shrugged. “Yours never seem to.”

Corin glared at him. “Perhaps you just think they’re toys because that’s all you see women as, you nasty–”

“Corin.” I put a hand on her arm. “He’s just egging you on.”

Corin huffed and stood, tossing the tennis ball onto the bed. “I’m leaving.”

“What?” I stood with her, looking at her sadly. “No.”

“I should be going, anyways.” Corin said lightly, pulling me into her arms. “I will see you tonight, I look forward to your first training session.”

I frowned when she looked down at me. “Are you sure you have to go?”

Corin threw an odd glance at Felix. “Yes. Don’t worry about it, cub. I’ll see you later.” She leaned in and kissed me hard for a brief moment before letting me go.

I held her hand until she was too far and reluctantly dropped it, still frowning. “See you.” I called, disappointed.

Felix stood, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed as he stared at me.

“Do you need something?” I asked in annoyance as I took the hair tie out of my hair. I moved towards the bathroom, feeling his eyes following me. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I wanted to pretend to be busy so he would leave.

“You really didn’t let her use her gift on you?” Felix asked curiously, his voice suddenly not so harsh.

“Yes, really. Why do people keep asking?” I asked in exasperation.

Felix shrugged. “No reason.” He said, pushing himself from the doorframe. “You were just far less bitchy when she was around. I figured it was her gift. Or her good pussy.”

I looked at him, feeling myself begin to fume. “We haven’t even done anything like that you fucking snake.” I hissed. “Get out of my room you disgusting pest.”

“I’m surprised, the exchange we heard over the phone would suggest otherwise.” He smirked.

I scoffed. They heard that? I suppose I hadn’t hung the phone up right away, I thought Demetri did. “Get out!” I shouted.

Felix looked down at his feet then back at me. “I’m not

in

your room,

babe

.” He shrugged.

I drew in an angry breath and looked to my right, heavily contemplating if I should grab the wardrobe and throw it at him. But when my wild eyes moved back to look at him, he was gone.

“The most insufferable, disgusting, useless fucking creature I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.” I muttered, stomping back to my bed. I laid down and grabbed the tennis ball, resuming playing catch by myself.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Several hours had passed before the twins returned to my room.

Alec knocked delicately on the door, but Jane decided upon herself to just walk in before I could answer. “Sister, that is rude. Her door is closed.”

“Not anymore.” Jane shrugged, coming over to the bed.

“Jane.” Alec scolded, following her. “You should really wait for her to answer.”

“Do you mind?” Jane asked, watching as I tossed the tennis ball into the air and caught it.

When I caught the ball I sat up and looked at her softly. “In the future, I would appreciate it if you gave me the chance to tell you if you can come in or not. But I am not upset with you for walking in just now.”

“Will you be upset if I disregard your request to wait until you reply?” Jane studied me curiously.

“I don’t think I would be upset, but if you walked in while I was changing or… something… then it would be very uncomfortable.” I replied kindly. “Could you respect my boundaries if I ask you to wait for me to answer before walking in?”

Jane’s face was blank as she stared at me in consideration for a long moment. “Yes, I can do that.”

I smiled at her. “Thank you, I appreciate that very much.”

“Are you ready to go?” Alec asked, eyeing the tennis ball in my hand. “Or would you rather play with your little ball some more?”

I knew he hadn’t intended to sound offensive, but I couldn’t help laughing at how rude it sounded. “We can go, the tennis ball can take a rest for a while.” I said, standing up from the bed and tossed the ball aside.

“We asked if Corin could join, but Aro wants her to remain close to the castle.” Alec informed as he and Jane each took one of my hands. “Sorry.”

“Oh.” I said in surprise. Corin has said she wasn’t on the best terms with them, yet Alec went out of his way to be kind. “Well, it’s alright. I am happy to go with just you two.”

“Who said it’s just you three?”

I groaned as we stepped out into the hall and rolled my eyes. “Does he

have

to come with?” I sighed, raising my eyes to meet Felix’s arrogant gaze.

“

Someone

needs to be around if you decide to eat the townsfolk.” Felix said, shrugging.

“Hm, and here I thought the twins and I could feast without a giant flea bothering us.” I replied lightly.

The twins giggled, glancing at Felix before leading me down the hallway.

“Shouldn’t you be setting a good example for the kids?” Felix asked in annoyance.

“I’m not perfect, I am an adult with flaws and limits. You just happen to be on the unfortunate side of that.” I shrugged. “If you weren’t so obnoxious, then

maybe

I’d be nicer to you.”

“Wouldn’t a good nanny teach tolerance and acceptance?” Felix argued, falling in-step with us.

“No. A good nanny teaches kids what they should and should not tolerate.” I replied, glancing up at him blankly. “Jane and Alec aren’t your typical children so I do not need to hide my brashness as much.”

“Brashness?” Felix scoffed. “That hardly sounds like a real word.”

“Then maybe you should try using your brain and read a dictionary.” I retorted. “Give your muscles a break and try using the muscle up there for once.” I said, nodding to his head.

“I have plenty of experience with reading.” Felix said defensively.

“The evidence is not there.” I muttered.

We made it to the elevator and all boarded together, Demetri slipping in at the last second.

“What?” He asked when Felix gave him an odd, almost annoyed look. “I enjoy what the outside has to offer as well.”

-
 
I had done very well walking through the city. I held my breath and kept my eyes on the ground as we walked, the twins holding onto my shaking hands tightly in a combination to comfort and control me.

When the five of us arrived in the forested area, I was able to relax and resume speaking. We were far enough away from any humans for there to no longer be any danger. For them.

We broke out into a clearing and the twins let my hands go and ran ahead to about the middle of the frozen meadow and laid down, looking up at the sky.

I glanced up briefly and did a double take, stopping dead in my tracks. “Oh my god.” I whispered.

The sky was clear and I could see

so

many stars in the sky, and the softly glowing galaxy in the great distance.

“Come lay with us, it’s better over here.” Alec said, sitting up and waving me over.

Demetri came up behind me and put a hand on the middle of my back, slowly guiding me back into walking. “Amazing, isn’t it?” He asked softly.

We made it to where the twins were and I looked down to see where I could lay.

“Here.” Alec patted the open space to his right, him and his sister holding hands on his left.

I complied, laying down next to Alec and looked up at the sky. “This is so beautiful.” I breathed, my eyes repeatedly looking across the entire sky. “I can see somewhat familiar patterns in the sky. What are they?” I asked, raising my finger to point to a few.

“Constellations.” Felix replied somewhat proudly.

I rolled my eyes. “Thank you, I had no idea.” I replied sarcastically. “Do you act like this on purpose to be a jackass? Or are you really more brawn than brain?”

There was a long silence outside of Demetri’s chuckling, and then the sound of a plant being picked.

After a few seconds, something small and hard hit my face. “Hey!” I sat up and looked at Felix in annoyance.

Felix was sitting on the ground, pulling more frozen grass out of the ground and was rolling it in a ball. “Insult me again, brat.” He challenged, placing the tight wad of grass between his thumb and middle finger, ready to flick it at me.

“Okay.” I scoffed and shrugged. “You’re an idiot.”

Felix flicked the wad of grass, hitting me right in the middle of my forehead. He laughed happily, getting more grass.

I flinched when the grass hit my face and scoffed, grabbing grass myself and rolling it into a tight ball. “Your ego is so bruised from a woman putting you in your place that you resort to childish behavior to get back at me.” I said, flicking my wad of grass at him.

Felix hadn’t been paying attention and it smacked him right above his left eyebrow and he flinched. He furrowed his brows, looking at me with a mild scowl. He flicked his grass at me but I moved, dodging it successfully.

“Hah.” I laughed childishly, laying back down. “Even.”

Not a second later another small ball of grass hit the tip of my nose.

I brushed my hand over my nose and sat back up, huffing at him. “Stop that.” I demanded, trying to hide a smile.

“Are you going to make me?” Felix asked petulantly, grabbing more grass.

I glared at him comically and looked around, looking for something more to throw at him. “I–” A bigger wad of grass hit the back of my head as I was turned away. “I will break your nose again, I swear to god.” I said, turning back to Felix, but he was gone. “Idiot.” I muttered. I turned back around to lay back again and Felix was crouching in front of me and I shrieked, pushing myself away from him.

The twins laughed hard at this, their hands on their stomachs.

Felix grabbed one of my legs at the knee and dragged me partially underneath him. “Could someone with more brawn than brain frighten you like this?” He asked, looking me over curiously.

I hooked my other leg around his arm and hoisted myself up with the movement, trying to slam my head into his face but he caught my head, his palm pressing against my forehead, and held me in place. I growled lightly in frustration and tried to twist out of his grip, but I couldn’t. I was tangled into him and glared into his gaze as he stared at me triumphantly.

“Are you going to be a good girl now?” Felix asked quietly.

I huffed and relaxed in his grip. “Fine.” I grumbled.

Felix let me go and began to stand. “Good gi–”

I grabbed his ankle and pulled his feet out from under him and he slammed down onto the ground hard in front of me. I moved so I was leaning over him, my hands on either side of his head. “Are you going to be a good girl now?” I asked, mocking him.

Felix was groaning as he threw me an angry glance.

“Come on, tell me.” I encouraged softly, grabbing his face with one hand to make him look at me. “Say it.”

“I’m not going to comply with your bratty insanity.” Felix said, his voice sounding funny as my fingers pressed hard against his cheeks.

“Come on, Felix. Tell her you’ll be a good girl.” Jane laughed, sitting up with Alec to watch.

Felix now gave them an annoyed glance. “Seriously?”

Jane’s face fell to a flat, serious stare as she pursed her lips.

Felix rolled his eyes. “God, fine. I’ll be a good boy.” He said in exasperation.

“No.” I shook my head. “I didn’t say good boy, did I?” I asked sternly.

Felix’s body went limp as he closed his eyes in frustration. He opened them again, looking me directly in the eyes. “I will be a good girl.”

The twins giggled at this, laying back down to look at the stars.

I felt a twinge of guilt as I realized how much I was bullying him, but the guilt went away when I recalled how inappropriate he always was. “Good girl.” I winked at him and tapped his cheek a few times before laying backwards on the frozen grass. “Alright, kids. Teach me some constellations.”

- 
 
The five of us spent hours outside, looking at the stars and constellations. Felix and Demetri remained quiet for the most part until it was time to go.

“Do you like to watch movies?” I asked the twins as they took my hands.

“We do not spend our time on human entertainment.” Alec replied simply.

“Well, would you be interested in giving it a try with me?” I asked. “There’s a movie series I can kind of remember about pirates. You may like it.”

“Is it something just for kids?” Jane asked. “We have seen those pitiful cartoons, those do not interest us.”

“No, no. It’s for kids and adults. It’s filmed with real people. There’s fighting in it and it’s funny.” I replied earnestly. “I can show you a trailer when we get back.”

“What’s a trailer?” Alec asked curiously.

“It’s like a movie preview that outlines the general story.” I replied, looking at him.

“Sounds interesting.” Jane said. “Let’s try it.”

-
 
“Okay, um…” I sat at Cecillia’s desk and turned the computer on, shaking the mouse to wake up the monitor. “Let’s see here.”

Flashbacks of watching the news videos with them here rose to my mind and I paused, trying to hold back the uncomfortable shudder creeping up my spine.

There was a small hand on my shoulder and I opened my eyes and looked to see Alec standing beside me, an empathetic look on his face. Jane moved to the other side of me and rested her hand on my other shoulder, and I smiled at them both.

I was so thankful to have them both there for me.

The muscle memory of using technology came back easily to me and I pulled up a trailer for

Pirates of the Caribbean

, putting the video on full screen and sat back while the twins, Demetri, and a reluctant Felix stood by watching.

Once the trailer was over, I looked at each of them and saw the interest shining in all of their eyes. “So?” I asked, smiling slowly.

“We want to see it.” The twins said in unison.

“Can we watch it now?” Alec asked eagerly.

“We want to see it now.” Jane said, a little demanding.

“We need a subscription to watch it. And a TV. Why don’t we ask Aro if he is willing to get us a large TV to put in my bedroom for movie nights?” I asked, looking at the twins.

They disappeared in an instant and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Would it be alright if I joined as well?” Demetri asked casually.

“Of course. I think we should get more ample seating for the five of us.” I said, swiveling in the chair to look at him. “Do you think we could get another couple couches?”

“Five?” Felix asked, furrowing a brow.

“Well…” I counted on my fingers to make sure. “I mean, I guess six if Corin would want to ever join.”

“You’re including me?” Felix asked in annoyance, folding his arms across his chest.

“Do you not want me to?” I asked slowly in confusion.

Felix scoffed and walked away, shaking his head. He began complaining in Greek and I frowned as he kept talking to himself, eventually disappearing down the hall.

“I guess I’ve been too mean.” I sighed, sitting back against my seat.

“I think you two have had quite a rough start.” Demetri said. “No worries, he tends to bounce back quickly, although he has never had to keep up with anyone like you before. You two both need time to adjust to each other and the hostilities will naturally fall away.” He patted my shoulder supportively.

“If he stops being an ass, I think we could be friends.” I shrugged, turning my attention back to the computer.

“Felix is not the only one being an ass.” Demetri said honestly.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” I grumbled. We both were being childish, but if I stopped being childish, would he?

“Why don’t you pull up those comments?” Demetri asked, kneeling beside my chair. “We can see if anyone’s caught on yet.”

While Demetri and I scanned over the online discussions over my mysterious disappearance, the twins arrived back from the throne room.

“Aro has given his blessing.” Alec said excitedly. “He will send someone out with Felix right away to get the necessary supplies.”

“Can we watch the movie when they get back?” Jane asked, staring at me expectantly.

“Of course we can. There’s some good news, too.” I said, smiling. “There is more than one movie.”

Alec and Jane smiled at each other and began talking excitedly in Old English, disappearing again down the hall.

-
 
After several hours of looking at the discussions online, Demetri and I determined that my comments did in fact spark something of interest. There were dozens of arguments going on, and I had noticed Ingrid had responded to one of my original comments asking who I was and how I knew this information. She always knew who I was friends with, and I wondered if she would grow suspicious that this was actually me. She always was smart.

Felix arrived with several others, all of them carrying items; a very large tv, a futon, a loveseat, and an L-shaped couch. They carried it all to my room, Demetri and I following them in to begin setting up.

“It is odd that all this furniture does not come premade.” Felix commented, ripping open all of the boxes.

“It’s a massive pain in the ass, but it saves room for the stores so they can have more inventory.” I replied as I looked at the instructions while building the small loveseat. I was impressed when I saw it reclined back in a photo; it would be a nice, comfy perk to sit on with Corin.

Felix set up the TV and placed it on my dresser and one of Aro’s workers spent her time subscribing to streaming services and getting the TV all set up for us to use. Once she left, the twins crawled into my bed while I went to the TV to pull up the movie.

“We want to wait for you.” Jane said. “Hurry up with the furniture, it won’t be any fun if we watch it while you adults are busy.”

“Yes ma’am.” I chuckled, returning to the loveseat. I sat down on the floor, crossing my legs.

Demetri had gotten the futon already set up and was working on the L-shaped couch. “These instructions are so simple, do humans really need things simplified like this?” He asked, glancing down at the paper. He grabbed a screw and went on to the next step.

“Yes, and we–

they–

still mess it up.” I replied, laughing. I glanced at my own instructions and sighed. “I still hate doing this.”

Felix came up next to me and grabbed my upper arm and dragged me away from the loveseat. “I will do it.” He said flatly.

I frowned at him and wanted to argue that I could do it myself, but I resisted. If Demetri’s words would ring true, one of us would have to stop acting petulantly. “I can help?” I suggested quietly, and my voice came out bashfully.

Felix paused and looked at me in a confused scowl. “It’s fine.”

A flare of frustration. “Fine.” I huffed and stood, walking over to Demetri. I sat down next to him and anxiously picked at the tools and supplies. “Jackass.”

Demetri threw me a small, encouraging smile. “That was a pretty good attempt.” He teased quietly.

“Attempt at what?” Alec asked curiously.

I glanced up at the twins and saw Jane experimenting with the TV remote while Alec was sitting next to her, his legs dangling and swinging off the side of the bed. “I was trying to be nicer to Felix.” I replied honestly.

“We like it better when you tease him.” Jane said, her eyes focused on the TV. “It is more fun, our old moms would only flirt with him. We don’t like sharing, as we have said.”

I chuckled, handing Demetri the next piece he needed. “You don’t need to worry, I’m not going to start flirting with Felix and no one is going to distract me from you two.”

“I can smell the way you react to Corin, I’m sure she’ll be quite a distr–”

I took a nearby wrench and threw it at Felix. It hit him hard on the back of his head and he turned to glare at me. “Can you at least

try

to speak appropriately in front of them?” I asked in exasperation. “They’re

children

and do not need to hear your salty, unhinged sexual comments. Good god.”

“She has a point.” Demetri said, still focusing on the couch. “The general teasing is fine but Felix, try to keep your bitter jealousy at bay around the kids.”

I scoffed. “He’s

not

jealous.”

“I’m

not

jealous.” Felix said, the both of us speaking at the same time.

We glared at each other again.

“Alright.” Demetri laughed, not believing either of us.

-
 
The couches and futon were set up and we all gathered together around the TV. Felix was sprawled out on the L-couch, Demetri was laying on the loveseat, and the twins and I were posted up on the futon with me sitting in the middle.

“You guys ready to have your minds blown?” I asked jokingly, pressing play on the TV.

Jane and Alec sat very close to me, eyes already glued to the movie the entire time, laughing and gasping at the right moments. I loved looking down at them and seeing the light of excitement and wonder in their eyes; seeing them being able to act like regular kids made me emotional.

Towards the end of the movie, I put my arm around each of their shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze; a substitute for the big hug I wanted to give them both. It made me happy when they both held onto my arms and leaned into me while finishing the movie.

A small, blurry memory of Tobias and Frida sitting just like this with me rose in my mind. We were watching a more age-appropriate movie, but both of them had fallen asleep in my lap. I could almost still hear their soft snoring, feel their warm soft hands clinging to my fingers in a death grip so I wouldn’t leave without them knowing.

Involuntarily, I inhaled deeply and exhaled a slow, shaking breath.

From my peripheral vision I noticed Demetri and Felix glancing over at me curiously. I tried to keep my expression light, but when I looked at Demetri I could see the understanding of my struggle in his eyes. When I looked at Felix, he had already returned his gaze to the movie.

I was thankful I couldn’t cry. And I was also thankful that the twins seemed to warm up to me so quickly, and that they comforted me by holding onto my arms and leaning into me.

Yes, I could grow to be more and more okay with this; my new, very own family where we all worked together to take care of each other.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I laid in bed on my own, grumpy over my last interaction with Felix.

The movie had ended and the twins wanted to go off on their own to recharge after the social interaction. Demetri slipped out to go tend to his own needs– he mentioned a book he was reading– and so it was only Felix and I left.

Felix reluctantly got off the couch and glanced at me as I was still sitting on the futon. His eyes focused on me, but I couldn’t read what he was feeling.

I was feeling emotional from the closeness with the twins and wanted to try to mend the tension between us. “Thanks for helping with the furniture.” I said, standing up. “I appreciate the help with everything.” I gave him a small smile, but it quickly faded.

“Whatever.” Felix muttered, his eyes still staring me down. “Being nice when no one is around doesn’t count.”

I sighed. “Look. I’m sorry, okay? I think we just got off on the wrong foot. Can’t we just–”

“Don’t bother.” Felix laughed bitterly. “You’re going to go back to treating me badly in front of everyone regardless.”

“Felix, I’m

trying

to fix–”

But, he left. And so I stomped over to my bed, grabbing the tennis ball and began playing catch with myself again, forcing my mind to empty.

I was too angry to do anything else, my mind just needing something mundane to lose itself with. Stupid men and their stupid brains.

I

didn’t even start all of this, it was that jackass who did. Fuck him, right? I didn’t need to be his friend.

All I needed were the twins and Corin. My own little family.

-

The following morning, during the later hours when the sun was up, there was a tri-rhythmic knock on the door.

I inhaled deeply, smelling to see who it was. “If it’s just you, Demetri, you can come in.” I called.

The door swung open a little and Demetri slipped inside. “How are you doing, June?” He asked, walking over. “Have you recovered from earlier? I could not help but notice how emotional you looked sitting with the twins.

I scooted over on the bed and patted the now open spot next to me. “I’m fine.” I sighed, glancing at him. He noticed? “I’m just still wishing I could sleep.” I shrugged. I wanted to talk to him about Felix, but at this point I wondered if there was even any point. Maybe the giant vampire and I just weren’t meant to mix well and who was I to try to push it?

Demetri sat on the bed and slid his shoes off. “I checked the comments on the websites again, but there is not much progress.” He said, looking at me.

“How do you know the cops will search his house soon enough?” I asked, frowning. “What if he cleans before his house is searched? Or what if he like… dies and his family doesn’t notice or something?”

“I sincerely doubt he will clean his attic.” He replied comfortingly, looking up at the ceiling. “He hadn’t been up there in quite some time..”

“Hm.” I nodded in reply. “A good ol’ attic murder. Cool.”

Demetri laughed lightly through his nose and looked at me. “You know, June, I am glad that you have found genuine solace in Corin. Not many give her the chance to be herself.”

“Considering her gift, I guess I can understand why. I’m glad I gave her a chance, too.” I looked at him. “Thanks for not being such an insufferable prick.”

Demetri barked a laugh, putting a hand on his stomach. “Felix doesn’t mean to be that way. I haven’t seen him act like this before. I think you have irreversibly damaged his ego.”

I shrugged. “Someone had to do it.” I muttered, tossing the ball in the air and catching it.

“Give him a chance, too. I know things have started out rocky, but he is a good friend to have.” Demetri said, nudging me with his elbow. “A good friend and a good ally.”

“I’d prefer a lobotomy.” I scoffed, still tossing and catching the ball, earning another laugh from Demetri. “Will you tell me how you could track Gary from me just thinking about him?” I asked, rolling onto my side to look up at him.

“As I told you before, I can activate my gift and see the essence of someone’s soul. Their life, or imprint. Whatever you would like to call it.” He shrugged and studied me carefully as he spoke. “If I am searching for someone, and come into contact with something that they own, I can pick up on that tenor. And, if the memory is strong enough, I can have someone who knows them think of them and I can pick up on the essence that way.”

“That’s pretty damn cool, Demetri.” I commented quietly. “Is there a limit over distance?”

“There is. If the target is out of range, I find their most recent, closest location and work from there.” He replied. His voice was gentle as he spoke, but there was a light in his eyes. It was clear he really enjoyed his work, and it made sense why it was his gift.

I remembered him mentioning no one really ever asked about his gift and forced myself to think of more questions. “Is there anyone you can’t find?”

“There are very few who can evade me.” He said, his eyes looking distant as he thought. “Some vampires have very strong mental shields that can interfere, but it is rare. I have only encountered this issue twice with vampires who could dampen my abilities. Only one who could outright block my abilities.”

“Can you find dead people?” I asked curiously.

“I can. It isn’t quite the same as a human or vampire, though.” Demetri replied, his hand finding its way to my long hair to play with it. “A vampire is considered undead, but their tenors show up as strongly, or perhaps more intensely, than humans. But it may be because I myself an undead. If the subject is a deceased human, the tenor is there but very faded. It is almost next to impossible to detect the tenor of a dead vampire; everything about them is essentially erased.”

“Wow.” I would have gotten goosebumps if my body allowed it. “I’m sorry no one asks you about your gift. I think it’s interesting.” I said quietly, watching his fingers twist my hair into curls.

Demetri smiled softly at me and looked at me, contemplating for a moment. “Would you like to sit in on a training session today?” He asked.

“Oh my god, finally. Something to do.” I sat up and Demetri let go of my hair. “When is it?” I asked excitedly.

“It isn’t for another few hours.” Demetri replied with a shrug. “In the meantime, perhaps I could interest you in a language?”

I looked over at my dresser where my notebook was. “How’d you know?” I asked, looking back at him curiously.

“Aro mentioned you were wasting away in boredom and that you wanted to learn languages to try to cure that.” Demetri smiled smally at me.

“What is your native tongue?” I asked, laying back down and looking at him.

“Greek.” He replied proudly. “I hail from Greece and have closely kept up with the changes in the language over the centuries.”

“Wow, so you know Ancient Greek as well? If you had original texts by philosophers, could you understand?” I asked, impressed. “Are you that old?”

Demetri laughed. “Absolutely.” He nodded, still proud. “In fact, we have almost all of the original texts in our library.”

“Shut up.” I gasped lightly and sat back up. “Okay, teach me so I can read them.” I said, grabbing his arm and shaking him a little.

“Grab your notebook, my young student, and we shall get started.” He smiled.

-
 
I walked into the training room, right behind Demetri and paused, looking around. This must have been a ballroom at some point, as the ceilings were tall and the space was impressive. The floors and walls were lined thickly with large, padded mats to try to protect the marble and stone underneath.

There was a very small group of vampires standing to one side watching Felix and another vampire spar. Felix dominated the vampire, and another stepped forward. They repeated the process over and over.

I had to admit that it was impressive to see Felix training. My eyes easily followed him and each of his opponents as they fought. And each time, he annihilated them, his favorite move to finalize seemed to be flipping them over his body and slamming them onto the ground and placing his hand on their chest, baring his teeth at them. His eyes were wide and wild as he fought.

His power and skill were very apparent, and I found myself almost admiring him from afar. Almost.

I leaned in close to Demetri. “He’s kind of dramatic about it.” I whispered, causing him to chuckle.

Felix’s head whipped around and his gaze landed on me and he frowned. “Finished for the day.” He said, dismissing the small group of vampires.

I looked at Demetri in confusion. “I thought training didn’t start till now?” I asked.

“

My

training didn’t start until now.” Demetri replied with a shrug. He removed his cloak, jacket, and shoes.

“Clever.” I laughed and observed him as he approached Felix. “Kick his ass, Demetri.”

Felix gave a scoff, shaking his head as he watched his coven mate approach. And, to my disappointment, Demetri did not kick Felix’s ass. Instead, Felix blocked and anticipated Demetri’s

every

move.

This went on for well over an hour, and Demetri grew frustrated. He would growl each time Felix took him down, and it was obvious he tried hard to change up his next move. To no avail.

“Centuries of training together and still I lose to you.” Demetri shook his head and straightened out his clothes. “I will never fail to be impressed.”

“Shut up.” Felix muttered in frustration.

“Why not have Juniper go up next?” Demetri suggested, looking between us.

“Wait– me?” I asked, pointing to myself. “I don’t fight or anything, I–”

Felix laughed dismissively. “She isn’t a fighter, Demetri. Don’t be ridiculous.”

I narrowed my eyes at Felix. “Don’t talk about me like you have any idea who I am.” I said harshly. “You–”

Felix laughed at my words. “Do

you

even know who you are?” He challenged. “You can barely remember anything from your previous life, and all you ever feel is anger or sadness. How is that a true existence?”

I growled in anger and lunged at him, wanting to claw his stupid eyeballs out of his stupid face. But, he moved out of the way before I even reached him. I landed where he’d been standing and turned to face him, scowling deeply at him.

“You’re angry and impulsive and far too easy to read.” Felix said boredly. I clawed at him again and he caught my wrist and shoved me away hard and I stumbled backwards. “If you truly want any training, I require you to have a level head. I do not deal with brats throwing tantrums.”

“You’re just scared I’m gunna rock your shit again.” I said petulantly, my eyebrow twitching in irritation.

Felix laughed

at

me, and now I understood how infuriating it was when I did that to him. “You have way too much confidence, I feel embarrassed for you.”

“Give her a chance, Felix. Aro wants her trained, anyway. May as well start now.” Demetri said, standing off to the side.

“Alright,

Junie babe

, step up.” Felix waved me to approach. “Do you know how to fight at all?”

I was silent for a long, awkward moment before confessing. “No, I don’t think so.” Way to prove his point; I couldn’t remember anything.

Felix laughed at me again and glanced at the door as someone walked in.

I looked over to see the twins strolling in, Corin trailing behind them. “Corin.” I smiled, turning away from Felix. “H–” Felix pounced and slammed me onto the floor hard and I groaned. “

Dude…

What the hell?” I glared up at Felix as he was holding himself up on all fours over me.

“Don’t turn your back on your enemy. Simple rule.” Felix shrugged, standing up. “Get up.” He demanded rudely. When I didn’t move right away, he snapped his fingers at me. “Hurry up. I don’t have all day.”

I scowled at him and grabbed his ankle again but he planted his feet firmly on the ground and I couldn’t pull him down. I put my other hand on his calf and pulled in two different directions and he quickly stepped out of my grip, having to kick his foot to shake me off.

“Did you just try to break my foot off?” He asked in angered exasperation.

I pushed myself off the floor, watching him carefully. “Is that off limits?”

“Maybe that’s your gift.” Felix laughed rudely. “You break everything you touch. You destroy everything your tiny little hands can grasp onto.”

I paused for only a split second, shocked and hurt, before rage took over again and I scowled at him, lunging towards him. I wanted to see which direction he favored moving in, but he switched it up each time I jumped at him.

Smart, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since his gift was combat.

“You’re like a pathetic little bunny.” Felix laughed again at me, and this time when I lunged at him he hit his hand hard against my chest and I went flying across the room.

“Felix, jesus!” Corin gasped and began to move towards me.

“Leave her!” Felix shouted angrily as I landed on the floor. “She needs to learn.”

I laid on the ground for a moment, feeling a little embarrassed. But, I forced myself to get up. “I should have seen that coming, I guess.” I muttered, straightening my clothes out.

“Felix, you don’t need to go so far.” Corin said to him, looking at me with worry. “June, are you alright?”

“It’s amazing, actually.” I said, looking down at my arms and legs. I lifted my shirt up a ways. “That didn’t hurt me at all, I don’t even have any marks.”

“The vampire body is resilient.” Felix said. “Unless you’re weaponizing your thick skull.”

I scoffed and glared up at him again. “You are such an insufferable prick.” I carefully moved back over to him and swallowed my pride. “Alright, big guy. Tell me what to do.”

Felix looked shocked for a moment, and then his face twisted into suspicion. “You aren’t going to trick me into relaxing around you.” He said bitterly.

“I’m not trying to trick you.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Teach me how to fight or dismiss me. I thought you didn’t have all day?”

Felix’s lip twitched. “Fine.” He hissed, walking cautiously towards me. “You need to always focus on your opponents. In this case, it is just you and I, so only focus on me. Try to read my body language and anticipate in which direction I will move.”

I frowned. “I can’t. I can keep up with how fast you are, but I can’t tell where you’re going to go. I can’t read your mind.”

“You don’t need to.” Felix sighed. “There are subtle cues you can pick up on to try and determine where your opponent will go. Every person has favored steps, attacks, and defense strikes.”

“How the hell are you supposed to learn all of that when fighting?” I asked, already feeling overwhelmed. “I doubt anyone has time to memorize that shit when on a battlefield.”

“Perhaps it is a difficult concept for someone like

you

to figure out, but it is easy to learn when you become comfortable with generalizing others. Certain personality types have similar fighting behaviors. Certain cultures have hardly changed their miliary styles. So on and so fourth.” Felix informed formally. Just like Demetri, I could see how proud he was and how much he enjoyed the topic of his gift.

I

almost

smiled at how endearing it was, but then he kept talking.

“Idiots– sorry,

newborns–

like

you

all tend to have the same angry, impulsive moves. There is no thought process going on in your brains. Just rage and attack, rage and attack.” Felix scoffed, shaking his head.

“Weren’t

you

a newborn, too, at some point?” I asked petulantly, frowning grumpily at him.

“I was

never

as reckless as you.” Felix hissed. “

Never

compare us.

Ever.

” He seethed, pointing at me as he spoke. “We are

nothing

alike.”

“Okay, drama queen. Then let’s get on with it.” I rolled my eyes again.

Felix started to walk around me in a circle, studying me intensely. I shifted uncomfortably on my feet and crossed my arms. “Don’t do that.” He said, pointing to my arms. “Relax, but… not in the way you are. You need to keep your body ready to move at a second’s notice.”

I already wanted this lesson to be done. I sighed and looked back at Demetri. “I don’t want to–”

Felix pounced again and we rolled across the floor. “Focus, Junie.” He growled, jumping up and off of me onto his feet. “Get up.”

“God, you’re so

fucking

annoying.” I growled back, pushing myself back onto my feet. “I can’t wait to fuck you up again.”

Felix sputtered out a laugh. “Your hopes are far too high.” He shook his head, circling me again. He focused on me feet and scoffed, clearly having an internal conversation with himself as he shook his head. He moved, suddenly, and appeared in front of me.

It startled me for some reason and I gasped, stumbling backwards as I tried to avoid his fist that swung close to my stomach. I fell back and was able to recover smoothly, curling in a ball and jumping upright. I looked around and saw he wasn’t where he was. I inhaled to try and locate him, and heard the mat creaking under his foot behind me and ducked.

I launched myself backwards, rolling away again. I swung my arm around low in case he tried appearing next to me again and my fist collided with this leg.

Felix grabbed my arm and swung me through the air, launching me across the room again.

I was slightly more prepared this time and landed on my feet, having watched him as I was in the air. He didn’t move. I looked around him and decided to try and move to his left, but he anticipated my move and grabbed me by the throat, slamming me to the ground.

I held onto his wrist in two different spots and pulled in opposite directions, his arm starting to crack and he let me go. So, I let him go. I kept my eyes on him and rolled back onto my feet, watching him carefully.

Every move I made, he was able to anticipate and after an hour of getting my ass handed to me, I realized, finally, I was giving it away. I was focusing my eyes to where I wanted to go and I always leaned in the direction. So, I tried to change it up.

I would study him more quickly, move one way and when I saw him take a step in that direction, I would try to go in the opposite direction. But, he eventually caught onto that as well. I felt frustrated and stopped, standing up straight but relaxed. “I can’t do this.” I sighed.

“Okay. Self defense, then.” Felix rolled his head slightly, walking up to me. “How are you going to get out of a situation in which you’re physically restrained?” He asked and suddenly put me into a headlock.

Something horrible in my brain began to surface, blurry memories of struggling and pain. Fear.

“Felix–” I gasped. “Let me go.” I said, grabbing onto his arm.

“No.” He replied indifferently. “How are you going to get out?” He asked, tightening his grip.

Panic began to set in, despite knowing I wasn’t

really

in actual danger. I squirmed in his grip, my mind growing further and further away.

“You’re not doing anything useful, Junie.” Felix laughed, taunting me. “You can’t do anything to help yourself, can you?”

I cried out in panic and heard Demetri and Corin quietly tell Felix to let me go, that something was wrong. But, he didn’t listen.

I maneuvered in his arm and somehow was able to shove my hands under his arm, prying myself out of his grip and stepping backwards. I kicked the back of his knee hard and he fell to his knees, catching himself with his hands braced against the mats on the floor. Before he was able to look up at me, I swung my elbow down hard on the back of his neck and there was a mild, unsettling crunching sound and Felix’s body went limp onto the floor.

The room went silent and still.

“Felix?” I knelt beside him and pushed him onto his back. “Oh, fuck.” I whispered.

Felix’s eyes were open but empty and he was unresponsive.

“Oh my god.” I brought my hands to his face. “Felix?” I patted his cheek with one hand. “What the hell did I do?” I asked desperately, trying to shake Felix’s shoulder now. I glanced back to see Demetri, the twins, and Corin staring with their mouths agape. I looked back down at Felix, feeling almost ill. “This isn’t funny, Felix, wake

up!”

“He will be fine.” Demetri finally said after a pause. “He needs a moment to heal.”

I couldn’t fight off the panic. “Felix, wake up.” I breathed, shaking his shoulders. “Oh, fuck. Felix,

please.

” I killed him. I fucking killed him. Would Aro kill

me

for what I’ve done?

Slowly, the life came back to Felix’s eyes and he blinked lightly, looking around until his gaze locked with mine.

I sighed in relief. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. Are you okay?” I asked, petting his hair with one hand. “Felix, can you hear me?”

Felix’s eyes studied me oddly and he brought his hands to my wrists. “Juniper…” His grip and expression was gentle for a moment until anger took over and he shoved me off. “We’re done for the day.” He said, standing.

I was pushed onto my ass and watched Felix regretfully as he moved. “Felix, I’m so sorry. I’m serious, I didn’t mean to–”

“Save it.” He spat and moved away towards the door with his belongings in his hands.

Corin tried stopping him by grabbing his forearm. “Felix, are you okay?” She asked, looking shocked and concerned. The twins looked at each other uneasily and left.

Felix yanked his arm from her and disappeared into the hallway, Corin following close behind him.

Demetri came over and held his hand out to me. “Come on, let’s get you up.”

I took his hand and stood, staring at the door Felix disappeared out of with a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. “I’m sorry, Demetri. I didn’t mean to hurt him like that. I swear to god.”

“Felix is just fine.” Demetri said, raising his eyebrows as he spoke delicately. “His ego is damaged, but he is just fine.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.” I said anxiously. “All of you looked surprised. Even the twins left.”

Demeti put his arm around my shoulders and guided me to grab my shoes. “We have never seen someone knock Felix out or get the best of him. You are a lot of firsts for him, and I am sure he feels embarrassed. He has never lost before.”

“There’s more to it than that.” I replied uneasily. “Something is wrong. Like, really wrong, and I just made it way worse. Maybe I should have been nice to him right away. Maybe he’s right, I ruin everything I touch.” I grabbed my belongings and we walked into the hallway. “This is all my fault.”

Demetri frowned. “Do not blame yourself for the actions Felix brought upon myself. We have all been expecting someone to come along and give him a real challenge. It may not be going how we all expected, but Felix does need to be humbled.”

“I didn’t humble him, Demetri. I

killed

him.” I whined. “He’s going to hate me forever. How am I supposed to coexist with him?”

“Everything will fall into place, June. Just give it time.” Demetri replied gently, rubbing his hand on my back.

We got to my room, and my mind was still filled with regret. “I feel so bad, Demetri.” I groaned, hugging him to seek out some type of comfort.

“You have a big heart for worrying so much about him.” Demetri teased. “I will find him and ensure he is just fine, I promise.” He said, his fingers playing with the ends of my hair again.

“Thanks.” I said, looking up at him while still hugging him. “Come see me after and let me know if his pride is still intact. Maybe I can do something more about it.” I joked, trying to make myself feel better.

Demetri chuckled. “There she is.” He smiled, tucking my hair behind my ears. “You did very well tonight at training. I look forward to another night of seeing you kick Felix’s ass.”

I laughed, slightly leaning into his touch. I was starved for comfort and just the slightest touch seemed to call me. This felt like a moment we should lean in and kiss, but instead I looked away from him and stepped back.

“That was such a romantic moment.” Corin said playfully. “You should have kissed.”

I looked at her in shock and stepped away from Demetri. “No. It’s not– I didn’t–” I held my hands up in defense. Would she be upset? “It wasn’t–”

“What, you don’t want to kiss me?” Demetri asked, feigning offense. “I’m handsome and a fantastic kisser, I’ll have you know.”

“What? Well, I mean, I don’t know.” I shrugged, looking between the two of them as if I was caught doing something I shouldn’t have been doing. Sure felt like it.

“Go ahead, give it a try.” Corin encouraged slyly, leaning against the wall. She crossed her arms and watched us with a slight smile.

“Should we restart the moment?” Demetri teased, stepping towards me.

I looked up at him a little bashfully as he raised his hand to my face again. Another moment I was grateful I wasn’t human; my face would be as red as a tomato.

“You did very well tonight at training. I look forward to another night of seeing you kick Felix’s ass.” He murmured and leaned in.

I leaned in as well, slightly parting my lips before we kissed.

Our lips grazed lightly in a gentle kiss, but it felt a little weird.

I furrowed a brow and grabbed his face, kissing him again more firmly. But it still felt off. I pulled away from him, slightly frowning. “Was that weird?” I asked, smiling.

Demetri was smiling again now. “Slightly.”

“I thought so.” I laughed. “It wasn’t terrible, but I wasn’t quite there emotionally.”

“Well, at least now we know we’re much better platonically.” Demetri smiled. “I should go check on Felix.”

“Good luck.” I sighed, watching him start to walk away. “See you later, D.”

“See you, J.” Demetri smiled and disappeared down the hall.

-
 
“Well, wasn’t that an interesting little interaction?” Corin smiled as we laid down together. “I was

almost

jealous for a moment.”

I laughed and buried my face in a pillow. “Interesting?” I asked, my voice muffled. “I’d say embarrassing. I’m really sorry, I was upset and caught up in the moment and–”

“You never know if you like something until you try it.” Corin said, grabbing me to bring me into her arms. “Is it safe to say that you like kissing me more than you like kissing Demetri?” She asked teasingly.

“A lot more.” I replied quietly, moving in her arms to kiss her. She pulled me on top of her and I smiled into our kiss.

This felt much better. The sweetness of her lips lured me in and I wondered if she tasted the same between her legs.

I felt ridiculous moaning at the thought, but I almost couldn’t resist. She was so kind and beautiful and I wanted to show her my appreciation for everything she’d been doing for me. With me.

My hand slid down and reached under her dress, pulling it up to her mid stomach. She spread her legs for me immediately as I stuck my hand down her panties, carefully sliding my middle finger between her slit, my finger going to her entrance. She was already wet for me and I moaned again, using my finger to spread her wetness and slid my finger up to play with her clit.

Corin gasped a little and moved her hips. “More.”

I smiled and moved away from her, pulling her panties completely off. “Let me taste you.” I whispered, lowering myself between her legs. I looked her in the eye as I brought my mouth to her pussy.

Corin propped herself up on her elbows, watching me. “Fucking finally.” She smiled.

I used one hand to gently spread her lips and licked her from her entrance up to her clit slowly.

Her brows knit together and she gasped, her hand moving to my hair. “You have no idea how long it’s been since someone touched me like this. Without… interference of gifts.”

This made me more eager to pleasure her and I immediately went to work, my tongue working slowly and curiously to see what she did and didn’t like.

As I explored, she’d taken her dress off, revealing no bra underneath. I reached up, groping her breasts gently and ran my fingers over her nipples. She arched into my touch, giggling.

Corin’s moans and whispered encouragement drove me insane as I pleasured her. Her taste was sweeter than her scent, and there was nothing like the sensation of her pressing my face hard into her as she rode me while she climaxed.

Her loud, almost moans echoed loudly in the room and I

knew

that some of the other guard heard her.

I didn’t feel embarrassed by this, it had actually made me more aroused and I wanted to fish out more pleasure from her. Instead of stopping, I continued sucking and licking at her and stuck two fingers into her.

Corin gasped, her body twitching, as she watched me in confusion.

I slowly moved my head back and forth, my eyes closing as I reveled in her taste and pleasure. I fucked her cunt with my fingers hard as my tongue massaged her clit and walls.

Corin moaned loudly and slid into speaking a language I wasn’t sure of. She rocked her hips against my face and brought her hands to her breasts, playing with her nipples. She laid back, her body shaking again. Her voice caught in her throat and she went silent as she shook for a few moments before her voice came back and she cried out loudly. She reached down and pushed my face away, laughing almost hysterically. “Okay, okay! Stop, stop.”

I smiled, pushing myself away from her and laid down next to her. “Have you ever tasted yourself?” I asked, smiling at her.

Corin smiled back and rolled to her side and leaned in to give me a kiss. “Fuck, I taste good.” She giggled in between small kisses.

“You have no idea.” I murmured, grabbing her waist. I pulled her closer to me and deepened our kiss, moaning softly into her. “You are perfect, you know that?” I murmured, nuzzling my nose against hers.

“If I was human, I’d ask if I am dreaming.” Corin smiled, pressing her naked body against me. “You certainly know how to woo a woman.”

I barked a small laugh and put my arms around her. “I would hope so, I was engaged to one.” I replied humorously.

“Aren’t you going to let me taste you?” Corin asked in a playful pout, moving back a bit to look at me. “Or are you going to hold me down just to cuddle?”

“Oh, sorry. I forgot my strength, I guess. Again.” I chuckled. “I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to.”

Corin gave me an odd look. “Why wouldn’t I want to?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m… weird. A mess. I’m not adequate enough for… anything.” I looked away from her, my mind wandering to Ingrid, and then to Felix. “I don’t have any defining features about myself anymore. I don’t know who I am. I barely even know what I am.”

“Let me ease your worries, cub.” Corin purred, beginning to undress me. “Don’t let that moron get to you. Everyone struggles their first couples years as a newborn, it’s natural.” She whispered, placing soft kisses along my shoulder. “The anger, frustration, impulsivity. It overrides who you are for a while, but the most defining parts of who you were still peak through, and they’ll shine brightly after this phase is done.”

I laid back with her and frowned. “It seems like I’ll have to deal with this identity crisis for a long time. I can’t–”

Corin kissed me gently, comfortingly. “Relax, cub. Try to empty your mind.” She moved in between my legs and brought her mouth to me and began to almost mimic everything I’d done for her.

It was great, and the orgasms as a vampire seemed so much more intense than when I was human. From what I could remember.

And, it distracted me from my worries of Felix. My identity. Who I was and who I might become. I completely forgot about it all as she brought me to orgasm a couple times.

Corin and I laid together after, my fingers lightly tracing her curves. “You did very well being mindful of your strength.” She said quietly, petting my hair. “I was a little worried you might be a little rough.”

I snorted lightly. “I’m not an angry lover. I’m

always

gentle.”

“Lover, huh?” Corin asked slyly, pushing me onto my back.

“Uh–” I choked on my words. “No, I just meant–”

Corin chuckled, getting off of me. “I know.” She said, getting dressed. “I should go, cub. The wives are waiting for me.”

I frowned, sitting up. “It’s only been a couple hours.”

“I know.” Corin sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you later.” She said and left.

“That was weird…” I muttered. Did she not actually enjoy herself? Was I repulsive? Was there something wrong with me? My worries began to flood back.

I went to the bathroom and filled the tub with steaming hot water and climbed in. “If that didn’t go the way I thought it did, then I’ll just erase every trace of her touch.” I grumbled, scrubbing my skin hard with soap.

I ended up taking a shower after soaking in the tub. I towel-dried my hair and slid on some shorts and a t-shirt. Demetri hadn’t yet returned, so I took it upon myself to go explore the castle while looking for him.

I wandered the corridors for a while until I heard a rhythmic slapping sound and pained moaning. I froze for just a second, turning my head this way and that to determine where the sound was coming from.

Once I located it, I moved quickly and quietly down the halls. There was a heartbeat as well, rapid and delicious. I made sure to hold my breath as I moved closer and closer to the door to whoever’s bedroom it was.

The door was opened pretty wide considering the lewd acts clearly being done. But, my curiosity drove me closer and closer.

There was a very large gothic era bed, complete with a canopy. The sheets were black and the blanket on top was a deep, blood red color. There were probably almost a dozen pillows set neatly upon the bed. And, on top of all the linens was a human woman on all fours. Behind her? Felix.

He looked livid and was fucking her much harder than he probably should have been. His fingers dug into the woman’s hips deep, and her moans were a mix of pleasure and intense pain.

I brought my hand up to cover my mouth and nose; I wanted to inhale this woman’s scent before pouncing, sinking my teeth into that lovely pulse in her neck. But I forced myself to remain still.

The bed was facing the wall that the door was near and when I exhaled, Felix looked over.

The look of anger on his face seemed to deepen and he grabbed the woman by her neck and shoved her face into the mattress before pounding into her, making her scream while he made direct eye contact with me. I stood frozen, eyes locked with his, for nearly a minute as he did this to her and eventually he ended up climaxing.

Felix finished inside of her, keeping himself there for a few moments before pulling out. She collapsed on the bed and curled into a ball, crying to herself as Felix began to clean himself off. “I told you not to do that.” He said in irritation, grabbing her arm. “Get out.” He demanded, dragging her off of the bed.

“Would it kill you to at least hold me?” The woman cried, wiping the tears off her face. “That’s what a good dom would do.”

“Well, I’m not a good dom. We’ve been over this. Don’t make me repeat myself or you’re going to become lunch.” Felix hissed.

My eyes moved to his still erect penis and I swallowed hard, taking a step backwards.

“See something you want?” Felix asked, walking towards the door. I shook my head. “Have you ever even seen one of these?” He asked again, growing more casual. He grabbed himself, pumping his hand along his shaft a few times.

“That’s disgusting.” I said, taking another step back. I didn’t mean

him

, just his actions towards the human, but he didn’t understand.

“Then why are you staring?” He asked, annoyance returning to his voice. “Hoping to humiliate me again?”

“Felix, I didn’t mean to.” I insisted, looking him in the eye again. “I swear. Something just… switched in my brain. I don’t know what happened.”

“Your little act might work on the others, but not on me. I see you for who you really are. You’re manipulative and a liar.” Felix shook his head. “All you do is harm and then feign innocence to keep people on your side.”

“Look, you’re the one who was nasty first. I responded in kind.” I snapped. “I keep telling you that I am trying to fix this and you keep refusing.”

“You’re the one constantly attacking me.” Felix retorted. “Have I

once

done any harm to you?” He asked. "Outside of training?"

I went quiet.

“Exactly.” Felix hissed. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to have my lunch in peace.” He grabbed the door to close it, but paused. “Congratulate Corin on getting another tally on her chart.” He laughed bitterly. “Maybe I’ll get the next new recruit in bed first.”

Before I could ask what he meant, he slammed the door closed. I stared at the closed door in shock, almost jumping when there was a piercing scream coming from the woman, and then silence.

How I was able to turn on my heel and run back to my room was beyond me.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I shut my door and leaned back against it, looking around dumbly. I felt stupid upon returning to my room. I should have known what that sound was, and I should

not

have gone towards it.

Who was I kidding? I

did

know. But I was so curious. I

wanted

to know if it was Felix. I

wanted

to see him in the act.

A glutton for punishment. Hopefully my embarrassment was a good trade off for temporarily killing him.

My mind brought back the image of him grabbing the human by the neck and shoving her face into the mattress and I shuddered as I imagined myself in her position. I shuddered again but this time in disgust with myself. “Jesus, Juniper, get your shit together.” I hissed to myself.

But, my body began to react as the images invaded my memory. “Fuck…” I whispered, my eyes lingering on my bed. I could see the little lump where the blanket Felix gave me was and I pounced on my bed, rolling under the covers to grab the blanket.

I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes to better imagine what I had just seen in his room. I rolled onto my back and hesitantly slid my hand down my panties. “Oh, for god’s sake.” I hissed again, feeling embarrassed by how wet I’d already gotten.

Well, there was no turning back now. At least, that’s what I told myself.

I allowed myself to relax and took my time playing with myself, imagining what Felix’s foreplay was like. I imagined how rough his fingers would feel, how tight his grip on my throat would be, the angry expression on his face.

This made me uncomfortable and I paused. Okay, so I would have to imagine him

unlike

himself; soft and gentle and welcoming. At least at first, slowly getting more demanding and rough. I could be okay with that.

It was good enough. That paired with the light scent of him on the blanket was all I needed for the next forty five minutes as I brought myself to multiple orgasms. Dirty, disgusting orgasms that I hesitated to admit were even fueled by the thought of him.

I was taking a small break, laying on my back with the blanket over my face as I wallowed in self hatred over my actions, when there was a knock on the door. “Hold on!” I called desperately, sitting up. I shoved the blanket under my pillows and fixed the blankets on the top of my bed. Perfect.

Another knock.

“Can you hold onto your panties?” I asked, frustrated. It was only Demetri. I shoved my hands in my pockets and cleared my throat. “Okay, come in.”

Demetri walked in. “Sorry I did not stop by after my talk with Felix.” He said, approaching me. He paused and sniffed the air. “Was he here?” He asked curiously.

“No.” I replied too quickly. Could he smell the scent that rubbed off on me from the blanket? If he could, that meant he could probably smell my scent on my fingers. I clenched my fist in my pocket and cleared my throat. “Nope, just me.”

“Hm.” Demetri hummed thoughtfully, glancing towards my bed. “I figured I would come and ensure you’re still alive after having to witness Felix breeding with a human.” He said, trying not to smile.

Confusion struck me. “He was

breeding

her?” I asked, shocked. Maybe that was why he treated her so badly.

Demetri chuckled at this. “I apologize. He was not

actually

breeding her. It is just what he likes to call sex with humans.” He shrugged.

I wrinkled my nose, but felt a shift in between my legs again. “Disgusting.” I muttered, looking away as I tried to regain my self control. “The way he treats others is deplorable.” I looked back at him, trying to school my face into boredom.

“He is an ass, but he usually takes better care of those around him. Even if he is obnoxious.” Demetri replied, his eyes moving down to my hands in my pockets. He looked back up at me and shifted on his feet. “Forgive me for such a short visit, June, but I have something I need to take care of. If you need anything, you can come and find me.”

I raised a confused eyebrow at him. “Okay. Well, see you later.” I sighed, watching him leave. “Guess I’ll just go back to masturbating to pass the time.” I muttered sarcastically, walking back to bed.

-

It had been over 24 hours since I last saw Corin or Felix, and I was growing worried. I had spent the entire time in my room, reading through each book and magazine Demetri graciously dropped off. I grew tired of trying to concentrate on learning and sulked in bed for a few hours until he stopped by again.

“Perhaps the wives are needing her.” Demetri suggested casually, petting my hair as I laid in bed. “Get up, June. No sulking allowed in the castle.”

“If that were the case, Felix would have been thrown out a long time ago.” I muttered, rolling onto my stomach to bury my face in my pillows. By habit I sighed heavily, my eyebrow twitching as I caught the faintest whiff of his scent from the blanket underneath them.

I couldn’t escape Felix, it seemed, even when he was away. I wanted to claw his face up even more, the stupid bastard.

Demetri laughed and tugged lightly on a strand of hair. “He was never a big sulker until you came along. Perhaps that’s why he’s gone missing.” He suggested far too calmly.

“

Missing

?” I asked in exasperation, rolling onto my back again to look at him. “Did I actually kill him and you’re just lying to me?” I sat up to look at him sternly. “Don’t tell me he was sent to live out the rest of his days happily on a farm.”

Demetri looked at me in confusion, his hand pausing in my hair. “A farm?” He questioned curiously.

“Human thing, nevermind.” I grumbled, laying back down dramatically with a huff. I imagined Felix in muddy overalls and a pitchfork in hand and rolled my eyes. Then I imagined shoving the prongs into his eye sockets for good measure.

He laughed again. “It would take a lot more than that to kill him. Now get out of bed before I drag you out by your ankles.” He tugged lightly on my hair.

“Ugh, fine.” I groaned, rolling my eyes, sitting back up. “Where are you taking me?” I asked, glancing outside. “It’s still bright out.” I got out of bed and straightened my clothes.

“We are going to go for a little walk.” Demetri replied simply. “It will do you good to learn more about the castle. There is a lot that has happened between these walls that you should know about. Vampire history.”

“I’m not in the mood for some stupid history lesson.” I replied petulantly, sliding my shoes on before we went out into the hall.

“Okay, then we can walk in silence.” Demetri shrugged. “But you should not be indulging in your negative habits. It is good for you to be doing something with your time.” He said in a lightly scolding manner.

“And since when did you get your therapy license?” I teased, linking my arm with his when he offered. I swung my hair behind my shoulders as we began to walk so I could glance at him without it getting in the way.

“I am ancient, young child. I know

everything

.” He responded playfully, grinning at me.

I rolled my eyes, trying to hide a smile. “Oh yeah? What’s the meaning of life, then?” I asked in a playful challenge.

“Hm.” Demetri smiled a little and looked down at the floor as we walked. “To kill or be killed.” He replied simply, his eyes studying each passing stone as if he were reading.

I scoffed, frowning deeply. “That’s no fun.” I said, scrunching my nose at his words. “Or meaningful, for that matter.”

“You asked.” Demetri replied lightly, giving a shrug. “That is how I view the world. You will find that most vampires view it this way whether you like it or not. I am sure Felix even more so.”

“So then why are you so much nicer than Felix when you have such a depressing view of the world?” I asked curiously.

“Why are you so focused on him?” Demetri asked, not unkindly, looking at me. “Are you interested in him?” He tilted his head to the side, his eyes studying me as if he could read me.

I laughed abruptly. “As if.” I fought off the memories of him raveging that human and had to fight off a shudder as well. “He’s repulsive and rude and…” I paused. What else?

“I am still an advocate for trying to mend the relationship.” Demetri said casually. “I understand something uncomfortable happened in the training room, but I am certain he did not realize it. He would not put you in a situation like that on purpose.” At least he sounded like he believed it, even when I didn’t.

More uncomfortable thoughts. “I don’t know what that was, either.” I replied quietly. “The restraint just scared me, I guess. I could hardly move my body.” I clenched my jaw, fighting off another wave of horrified shudders threatening to rock my body.

“Is it okay if I hold your arm like this?” Demetri asked, pausing. “I did not think to ask, I apologize.”

I looked down at our linked arms. “This is fine. I think what scares me is the total physical restraint.” I replied, shrugging smally. “Thanks for asking, though.” He felt safe enough that I didn’t worry when I was near him. But, who knew what would happen if he tried to restrain me.

“June, if I do

anything

that makes you uncomfortable, I would like for you to tell me right away.” Demetri said, looking me in the eye. “Please.”

I smiled softly at him. “I appreciate that very much, Demetri.” I looked down the hall. “I may be in the mood for a history lesson, but not about the castle. I want to know about your very old, ancient life.”

Demetri smiled and we resumed walking. “Well, I was turned by an even older ancient vampire, Amun. But, Aro approached me long ago and offered me a position in the Volturi, which I agreed to take.” He explained.

“Why did Amun change you?” I asked, watching our feet as I partially concentrated on walking at a normal human pace. Was he doing this to help me practice?

“He saw my tracking talent as a human and knew that it would certainly be a gift in immortal life. I am very grateful for him, he helped me develop my gift after I turned. He helped me to understand it and use it.”

“Do you ever get to see him?” I asked, glancing briefly at him and saw he looked a little forlorn.

“No. It would be…” He paused, thinking. “Unprofessional. The Volturi have an image and laws to upkeep. We cannot show favoritism or weakness to anyone outside of the coven.” He tried hard to cover his disappointment but I could see it seeping through the cracks.

I frowned. “You can’t have friends? Then what’s the point of immortality?” That seemed unusually cruel, despite being understandable. Being favored amongst a government could certainly cause outrage amongst other covens.

“We have our coven mates, and that is more than enough.” Demetri shrugged. “It is not part of our instinct to have dozens of friendships like humans. Have you not encountered that, yet?” He asked curiously.

I took a moment to think. “I suppose I have been too focused on not knowing who I am and being afraid I’ll never find my forever person– or, vampire, I guess– to really think about it.” I shrugged. “I just don’t want to be alone.”

“That is something you will need to come to accept, June. There is always the risk of ending up alone.” Demetri said as if it were the most normal, acceptable fact of life ever.

I laughed a little. “So comforting, Demetri. Thanks.” I replied sarcastically. I didn’t want to end up alone. I wanted a family, I wanted someone who saw me and loved me and–

“I just want you to be prepared for anything and everything. The Volturi… we are strong. But it would be delusional to say that we will remain in power permanently.” He looked troubled at the thought. “Something could happen, gods forbid, and we could all die or be sent away.” He shrugged. “You need to be okay with being alone, or you cannot be happy with others.”

“I am going to need to see your therapist license before I take any of this to heart.” I demanded playfully, raising my brow as I looked at him.

“Then I will have to charge you for my services.” Demetri retorted in the same tone.

“But I don’t have money.” I frowned. “How else can I pay you?” I nudged him a little with my elbow, smiling slyly at him.

Demetri’s eyebrow twitched as he smiled at me. “I could think of a payment option, but I would not subject you to it in the castle halls.” He murmured, looking me over.

I laughed with him and pushed him a little with my shoulder against his. “I’ll only give you what I think your services are worth.”

Demetri laughed. “And what do you think my services are worth?” He asked, licking his lips.

I paused and looked him over pointedly, squinting at his crotch for a few seconds before looking him in the eye again. “A 45 second ride. Hope you’re a two pump chump, Dem.”

“It depends on how good the ride is.” Demetri shrugged. “I may need 46 seconds, if you can spare it.”

“Then you’d better start giving better advice.” I replied simply, shrugging. We smiled at each other, continuing our walk.

-

Day two rolled around, and Demetri took it upon himself to comfort me again. My worry had only gotten worse because the twins hadn’t come to see me, either. He was my only lifeline.

“The twins have had to go out on a small mission with Felix.” Demetri explained, setting down a couple dozen books on my floor.

I looked at him with great doubt. “And why didn’t you go with them?” I asked, now looking at the books. I walked over to them and sat on the floor, grabbing the book on top to inspect it.

“Because it is not

my

punishment.” Demetri replied, beginning to shelve the other stack of books he brought in.

“The twins are being punished?” I frowned. “What did they do?”

“No, not the twins.” Demetri replied gently. “They were sent with Felix as his own punishment.” He reassured me. “I am sure they are upset they cannot spend this time with you. They will surely give him hell

and

keep him in line as he fixes his error.”

“What error?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. I looked up at him from the book I was holding, setting it down in my lap.

“He ate the receptionist before she even started her job, so now he has to find a replacement.” Demetri replied. “Felix has not made a mistake like this since he was a newborn. His change of behavior is very curious, if I am to be honest.”

I wanted him to elaborate, but didn’t want to ask. He was already suspicious that I was

interested

in a vile creature like Felix, which was abhorrent enough on its own. Apparently I took too long to answer because Demetri approached me.

“Are you alright?” He asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. He sat next to me on the floor, grabbing the book from my hand.

“I’m fine.” I replied, shrugging his hand off. “I just… feel really bad.” I groaned in frustration and laid back on the floor. “The twins bring me here for a family life and all I’ve been doing is pissing Felix off to the point he’s making mistakes that get him in trouble.”

“Felix’s choices are still his own.” Demetri said. “Let’s not think of that. Let’s get these books shelved and you can determine which language you want to start working on first.”

“Fine.” I sighed, not feeling up to the task.

“Tomorrow I will show you how indestructible you are, if you’re good.” He smiled.

-

Day three, Demetri brought entertainment.

Demetri waltzed into my room and dropped two large duffle bags into the floor. “Our entertainment for a while.”

I sat up in bed, raising an eyebrow at a grinning Demetri. “What is it?” I sniffed the air and smelled metal. “Are we building a cage? Are you going to tie me up, Dem?” I teased.

Demetri’s smile faltered a little, a flash of arousal in his eyes only for a second before he looked away. “I, dear June, am following up on my promise to prove how… indestructible… you are.

We

are.”

I smiled at him and got out of bed. “Okay, let’s do it.” I said, kneeling in front of the bag. I grabbed the bag to open it and accidentally tore the zipper off. “Opps.” I grimaced up at Demetri. “Sorry.” I hoped he didn’t have any emotional attachment to it, though it could be an easy fix.

Demetri ruffled my hair and knelt beside me. “It is just a bag, June. Do not worry about it.” He ripped the bag open, revealing various weapons and tools.

Various types of hammers, saws, crow bars, knives. Demetri opened the second bag, revealing more weapons and tools, but I paused when I saw several guns. I grabbed that bag and took out a pistol.

“Seriously?” I glanced up at Demetri who was still smiling. He nodded and I looked back down at the gun, checking to see if it was loaded. I took the safety off and pointed the barrel at my forehead and pulled the trigger.

Demetri smacked my hand as I did, the bullet ricocheting off the side of my head. “Good gods, June.” He gasped, taking the gun from my hands. “Be careful, there are a lot of ancient artifacts in this room.”

“Like you?” I teased, feeling a rush from the danger. I didn’t even think about the consequences had I not been as indestructible as I thought with it to my head.

Well, it wasn’t technically danger.

I stood and went to the bathroom, looking into the giant mirror. “There’s not even a scratch.” I said, impressed. I smoothed my hands over my forehead and frowned. Felix was wrong– my head wasn’t

that

big.

“You have now ruined the fun, June.” Demetri complained with feigned disappointment.

I went back to him, sitting down again. “No, I still want you to show me.” I said, holding my arm out. “Go ahead.” I encouraged.

Demetri chuckled endearingly and took out one of the saws. “I

wanted

to start with this.” He said, bringing the blade to my bare wrist. “Will you humor me with pretend shock and wonder?” He asked, lips twitching into a smile.

I gave a small nod and raised my eyebrows, silently egging him on. When he only moved to angle the saw, I gave a dramatic gasp and he frowned at me in mild annoyance.

“It didn’t even break skin!” I said dramatically and Demetri smacked me with the flat end of the saw. “Hey!”

“It didn’t even

touch

your skin, you little demon.” Demetri said and hit me again. “Try again.”

I rolled my eyes and looked back down at the saw blade. I exhaled completely, ready for another dramatic gasp.

Demetri held the saw on my skin but watched me, seeing how long it took me to lose my patience. It wasn’t long.

“Oh for god’s sake, tracker, just–”

Demetri dragged the saw over my skin and the blade screeched and broke.

It

did

shock me– the sound accompanied by the fact it broke so easily.

I gave a genuine gasp and froze, looking at the broken saw he held. “That is fucking radical.”

He smiled wide at me. “Ready for the next?” He asked, tossing the broken tool aside and grabbed the crowbar.

“Can I bite it?” I asked excitedly, earning another look of brief arousal from Demetri before his face smoothed out. Before he could answer, I took the tool from him and bit down on it and it bent in my mouth. I groaned in disgust at the metallic taste and took it out of my mouth before it broke. “Why would you let me do that?” I whined petulantly, trying to wipe the taste off my tongue.

“You would not have listened anyways.” Demetri shrugged. “You reap what you sow. Do you want to continue or are you going to complain about the consequences of your own actions?” He asked, trying not to smile.

I put my hand on his face and pushed him backwards. “You’re annoying.” I laughed and leaned over to dig through the bag. “Try this one.” I said, taking out a pickaxe.

Demetri sat back up and grabbed it from my hands. “This would create such a mess for humans.” He noted, looking it over. He smiled smally then suddenly swung it at me, hitting me in the temple.

I didn’t have time to flinch. I did, however, see the way the shattered metal went flying in all directions and laughed. “Does drowning do anything to you?” I asked, digging through the bag some more.”

“Not at all. We can go to the bottom of the ocean if we wanted.” He said, watching me take out each tool.

“What about jumping off cliffs?” I asked, neatly setting out all the tools across the floor.

“Not even a scratch.”

“What about fire?” I asked, focusing on my task.

Demetri was quiet for a moment before leaning forward. “I bought these tools to be destroyed. We shouldn’t let them go to waste.” He said, giving me a small smile.

So, we had a day of fun destroying all the tools he had bought.

-

Day four rolled around, and I wouldn’t get out of bed. Demetri invited himself in and sat down on the bed next to me. “You should come and eat, June.” He said, petting my hair. “You have been working very hard the last few days with learning new things. I see you’ve barely broken

any

pens. I am very proud of you.” He murmured.

I rolled onto my back, giving him a petulant, doubtful look. “Are you trying to praise me into coming out of my room?” I asked, holding back a smile.

Demetri looked at me thoughtfully. “I don’t know.” He replied thoughtfully, adjusting to face me more. “Is it working?” He asked, his eyes growing heavy as he stared at me.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged, looking at him seriously. “You’d better keep trying.”

Demetri looked at me a little curiously and laid down next to me, hovering just above me. “Am I reading into this too far?” He asked quietly. “Or was that an invitation?”

I wasn’t even sure myself. So, I decided to figure it out. I grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him close so I could kiss him.

Well,

now

it felt different.

“This is new.” Demetri laughed roughly when our lips parted again. “Are you…” His words trailed off as he looked more clearly into my eyes. “Interested?”

I smiled a little. “On a physical level.” I responded honestly.

“I care about you as a friend, June. I am not offended if this is a casual encounter.” Demetri said, his eyes falling to my lips.

I wrapped my arms around him and flipped him so he was on his back, my hands moving immediately to the belt of his slacks as we kissed.

The last several days, he had been my only comfort, and it felt acceptable to indulge in that comfort more deeply even if there was no romantic connection. With him inside of me. Apparently he seemed to agree, because he began to undress me as well.

Our clothes were off, and Demetri made an attempt to lay me down under him. He wasn’t rough with me, but I definitely did not like the feeling and I overpowered him– thanks to my

idiotic

newborn strength– and pushed him onto his back again.

It appeared that in a dynamic with a male, I had to be the one in control.

Noted.

Demetri silently understood this and allowed me to act on my own volition. I crawled over him carefully, pinning his wrists on either side of his head. “You’re okay, June.” He whispered. “I am not going to hurt you.”

I looked at him apprehensively for a moment before relaxing and letting him go. I swallowed hard and sat on top of him, watching as he slowly moved his hands to my thighs.

“May I touch you?” He asked carefully. I nodded, and he reached underneath me to grab his cock. “Is this okay?” He asked again as he moved and adjusted, lining himself up to my entrance.

I took a deep breath and nodded. When I felt the head of his cock at my entrance, I slowly lowered myself onto him and gasped lightly.

“You can stop at any time you need to.” Demetri said, his hands resting on the back of my thighs. “You’re doing very good, you’re–”

“Demetri.” I panted. “With all due respect, please just shut up and fuck me.” I said and leaned in to kiss him.

Demetri laughed and gave my thighs a gentle squeeze. “A little demanding, are we?” He teased, moving his feet so he could more easily start thrusting into me.

I gasped a little and closed my eyes, slowly moving myself up and down on him. “I genuinely enjoy hearing you talk, but at the moment I am more interested in what your dick can do. So show me.” I laughed, opening my eyes to look at him.

“Are you interested in kissing me while I fuck you?” Demetri asked in amusement.

I sighed dramatically and rolled my eyes. “

Now

who is being demanding and needy?” I teased, leaning down.

“Hey.” He scoffed in mock offense. “I did not call you needy.”

“Sh.” I hushed playfully and kissed him. “Is this what you want, Mr. Needy?” I chuckled and kissed him again, moving my hips slowly.

Demetri moaned into our kisses and dug his fingers into my thighs.

It was exactly what he wanted.

-
 
The sex was great, and no strings attached. It was clear to both of us that this was a strictly platonic act, and I also refused to allow him to finish inside of me. Mostly because I did not want his scent stuck on–

in

– me like that.

We fucked a handful of times in comfortable silence, the only sounds being our occasional moans and the sound of our bodies coming together.

After I felt well comforted, Demetri dressed and went to his room to bathe while I bathed in my own room. We agreed it would be best if no one knew of this interaction; it may cause confusion and upset.

We also made an agreement to hang out in the library after our bathing. I wanted to see those original texts from Greek philosophers.

I had gotten there first, my hair still damp from my bath. But there was no sign of Demetri.

There was a fire in the fireplace, which was odd since no one else was around, only the lingering scent of a human.

Staring at the flames, I felt called to the fire. I walked over to it, eyes locked, and knelt in front of it.

The fire looked so pretty, as if it were beckoning me to touch the beautiful dancing flames. With her new eyes, there was a hypnotizing beauty to it.

I reached my hand towards the fire, feeling as if I was in a trance as I stared into the dancing flames. What would fire do to me? Demetri never answered.

Just as my hand was about to touch the flame, there was a horrifying, ear-piercing screaming and I was tackled to the floor.

I gasped as my head slammed into the floor and if I were human, I would have definitely been knocked out cold. I looked to see Jane sitting on top of me, handfuls of my shirt clutched into her small hands. “Jane?”

“You said you wouldn’t leave!” She shouted, shaking me. “You promised! You

promised!”

She screamed.

“What?” I asked in confusion, holding my hands up innocently. “I wasn’t going anywhere, Jane, I was enjoying the fire. I haven’t even left the castle since you’ve been gone.”

“You were going to kill yourself.” Alec commented as he appeared next to us, his calm demeanor changing into upset. “Why? What did we do to make you want to leave? Were we bad?”

“Kill myself?” I asked incredulously. “How? Nothing can hurt me.” I reasoned, feeling guilt over the hurt expressions on their faces.

Alec and Jane paused and looked at each other then looked back at me. “Fire is the only thing that can kill us.” Alec informed calmly. “No one has told you?”

I shook my head. “I swear I didn’t know.” I said, staying as relaxed and calm as possible as I sat up, Jane still in my lap. “I was not going to leave you, I have no intention of dying.” No matter how appealing it felt sometimes. I couldn’t leave the twins like that.

Maybe I

was

a ghost– I had too much unfinished business before I let myself disappear into nothingness.

“You cannot leave us.” Jane said, hugging me. I was surprised, looking up as I scented Felix across the room. He stood there silently, arms crossed, face blank. I hugged her back, petting her hair. “You’re the best mom we have had. You promised.”

“I know, honey.” I said gently. “I am not leaving you. The only way I am leaving is if you tell me to leave.” Alec came close and fell to his knees, hugging us as well. I moved an arm to put around him. “I am so happy you’re back.” I said, closing my eyes.

“We need to speak with Aro, but when we’re done, we want to watch a movie with you.” Alec said, standing up. “Will you find something fun to watch?”

“Of course.” June nodded, standing up after Jane stood. “Go along, meet me at my room when you’re finished.”

The twins disappeared, leaving just Felix and I alone in the library.

I walked to the door to leave but he stepped in front of me, blocking the way, arms still crossed. “What?” I asked awkwardly, unable to completely look him in the eye.

“Did you really not know?” He asked flatly.

I rolled my eyes. “Not that I have to explain myself to you but no, I didn’t know.” I glared at him, crossing my arms.

“Hm.” He scoffed quietly, unmoving, staring at me.

“Did you have fun finding your new toy?” I asked accusingly. “You going to kill her, too, for not being an obedient little pet?”

Felix’s lips twitched into a taunting little smile. “I bought the hottest one.” He said, stepping towards me. “One that listens like a good girl should.”

I frowned. “Bought?” I asked dumbly. “You mean brought.”

He laughed lightly. “No, Junie babe.

Bought.”

He said, licking his lips. “The desperate ones are always the ones who know how to behave best. She will suck and fuck as much as she wants to try to become one of us.” He explained simply. “We have several venues of humans recruited by others who have

very

convincing humans to choose from.”

“You’re disgusting.” I spat, pushing against his chest. “Get out of my way.”

“Listen well and maybe I’ll give you another show.” Felix grinned, stepping out of the way because he wanted to, not because I asked. “Maybe I’ll even let you join in.”

“In your dreams.” I called, not looking back at him. I held my middle finger up in the air for him to see before disappearing down the hall to find a new movie for the twins and I to watch.

In this moment, I really wanted Corin to make an appearance to comfort my turbulent emotions. But, there was still no sign from her.