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Darkness blanketed Midoriya’s dorm room as he rested his head on his knees. So much happened over the last few months. How was he supposed to sleep after everything? Any time he closed his eyes, flashbacks of Kacchan’s broken and bloodied body sprawled across the ground plagued his mind, tormenting him. It wasn’t just that, so many lives had been claimed. He couldn’t save them.Midoriya’s fists tightened on the edge of his blanket. He wanted to scream. It was too much. He didn’t know how much more he could take. His eyes brimmed with tears. Before he got the chance to wipe them away, he heard something that made him pause.What was that? It came from Aoyama’s room. Midoriya sat, frozen, straining hard to listen for a repeat of the noise. He didn’t have to wait long. A low, shaky wail cut through the silence that enveloped the night.Is Aoyama… crying? Dread poured into Midoriya’s chest as he climbed out of his bed. He hadn’t really talked to Aoyama since that day. He hadn’t had the chance. The infamous UA traitor. He never expected it to be someone he was so close to. That night, when he found Aoyama in the woods, exposed him to the dark truth about his friend.Midoriya stood outside Aoyama’s door. The crying was not surprising. Aoyama went through so much and he was alone for all of it. Midoriya felt a little guilty. There were so many signs. So many hints that something wasn’t right, yet Midoriya ignored it all. He had always been so confusing, so hard to read.His knuckles rapped against the wooden door. Silence smothered the sobs immediately. Midoriya’s heart thumped in his ears like a metronome counting the seconds he waited in that hallway. He tried again.“Aoyama? I heard you crying. I know you’re awake. Open the door.” Nothing. Was this a bad idea? Maybe he just needed some space. Midoriya could talk to him about it tomorrow. Maybe Aoyama just needed to sleep. Just as he had turned away, the door flew open.
Woah.
Aoyama looked terrible. Dark circles hung under his red, puffy eyes, contrasting his unnaturally pale and gaunt skin. His usually well-groomed hair was a mess.“Can I… come in?” Midoriya asked. Aoyama nodded his head, so Midoriya stepped past him into the dorm.As he made his way over to Aoyama’s bed, he noted the condition of the room. Trash and dirty dishes littered the ground. A pile of weeks’ worth of clothes was against the wall. All the drawers of Aoyama’s dresser were open, catching the falling wrappers and papers that accumulated on the top. It was nothing like the neat and shiny room Aoyama prided himself on in the past.Midoriya sat down on Aoyama’s bed, waiting for Aoyama to come to join him. But Aoyama hadn’t moved. He remained in the doorway, eyes cast to the floor and body turned away from Midoriya.“Aoyama?” Midoriya called softly. No response. His heart ached for his friend.“Hey…” Midoriya stood up and made his way to Aoyama. When he arrived at Aoyama’s side, he grabbed Aoyama’s wrist and pulled him closer to him.He’s shaking. Midoriya didn’t know what to do. He had never met someone as closed off as Aoyama.“Let’s just sit down for now. You don’t have to talk, but it looks like you could use a friend.” He smiled slightly. Aoyama didn’t try to resist as Midoriya pulled him to the bed.Sitting side-by-side, Midoriya could now see the steady stream of tears that poured down his friend’s face, illuminated by the soft glow of the lamp on his bedside table. Midoriya opened his mouth before shutting it promptly. The words couldn’t escape. He didn’t know what to say.Maybe that didn’t matter. His hand brushed the sleeve covering Aoyama’s arm, and he rested it there for a moment as if to ask for permission. Aoyama tensed up slightly but didn’t attempt to pull away. Midoriya gingerly pulled Aoyama’s trembling body into his arms, resting his chin on his head.A choked gasp escaped Aoyama’s lips. Fingers tightened around Midoriya’s arm and gripped hard onto the back of his shirt. He felt Aoyama sink into his shoulder, his tears soaking the fabric of his shirt. Here they remained for several minutes, clutching onto each other like they were the only two people in the world.“Why don’t you hate me?” a small voice broke the silence. It was so soft Midoriya wasn’t even sure Aoyama had spoken.“What?”“Why don’t you hate me?” Despair filled Aoyama's voice. After everything I’ve done to you, the lives I’ve destroyed, the lives I’ve ended…” His voice broke.“I-”“Look at what I’ve done to your friends! Look at what I’ve done to you!” Aoyama pulled away, voice growing frantic. “You’ve almost died because of me!” Purple eyes met green. Tears poured down his face harder than ever.“Aoyama, that wasn’t your-”“Wasn’t my what? My fault?? Hundreds of people lost their lives that day in Kamino because of what I did! If I had never sent the location of the camp, Bakugou never would’ve gotten captured, he never would’ve needed saving, and All Might never would’ve lost his powers! A- and what about that boy, Kota? He was five, and I almost ended his life.” Aoyama’s voice broke. Midoriya reached for his hand, but Aoyama hit it away.“Everything that has happened was because of me. Japan is in chaos, so many people have lost their lives, their homes, their families. After the USJ attack, I couldn’t even look Aizawa in the eyes. Every time I entered that class, it was just another reminder of what I do to people. I break them. I’m just a villain. Everywhere I go, I cause misery and suffering.”“Aoyama, please listen to me.” Midoriya’s eyes brimmed with tears. He hated seeing him so broken. But Aoyama wasn’t listening. He was too wrapped up in his own self-loathing to hear Midoriya.“The worst part is, I know if I had to do it all over again, I would.” Aoyama had gotten up and begun pacing feverishly, hands balled into fists and tears dripping down his chin and landing on the floor.“Merde! After everything I have put you through, how can you just sit there and forgive me? You’ve changed so much, you’ve done so much good, and I… I don’t deserve to live anymore. Maybe things would be better if I just… died.” With those words, Aoyama began to hyperventilate. He brought a hand up to his chest and clutched his shirt, coughing feverishly.“Aoyama!” Midoriya ran to his side and caught him as he fell to his knees. Aoyama gasped for air, clutching desperately onto Midoriya’s forearms.“Aoyama, you’re having a panic attack. You’ll be okay. Just focus on me,” he spoke gently yet firmly, just loud enough to be heard over the sobs and coughs that wracked Aoyama’s body.“I’m going to start counting. I want you to try to count with me, okay? 1. 2. 3. 4…” Midoriya continued until Aoyama’s breathing had slowed. His body still shook with emotion, but his sobs had quieted and his tears had slowed.“I could never hate you, Aoyama. You’re not a villain, and this guilt proves it. Did you see Shigaraki crying anytime he hurt someone? Dabi? All For One?” Aoyama flinched.Does his name hold that much power over him? A pang of sadness shot through his heart. What happened to him?“I know you don’t want to believe this, but it’s true. You did everything you could. It wasn’t your fault that you were born without a quirk, that you got wrapped up with All For One at such a young age. You were a kid. I-” Midoriya took a deep breath. “I would’ve done the same thing.”Aoyama let out a sad laugh. “You? But you’re so kind-hearted and selfless.”“Yeah, but so are you. If my mother’s life was threatened, if I saw what you had to see, I would’ve done it too. Having to choose between the life of your parents and a bunch of people you don’t even know is an impossible choice that no one should have to make, but when it comes down to it, I don’t know anyone who would’ve done it differently than you.” Midoriya smiled at Aoyama.“I’m sorry that you were led to believe that your life has no worth, and I will never understand what you’ve been through, but I do know that you are not a bad person. You’ve done everything you can. You’re one of the most important people in my life and nothing could change that. I can’t lose you.” Tears ran down his cheek as he pulled Aoyama into a tight embrace.“So please,” his voice broke. “Don’t talk like that. I know you can get through this, and I’ll be here with you every step of the way. I don’t care if the rest of the class, or even all of Japan, is against you. I’ll stand by your side because I know you, Yuga.”Midoriya felt Aoyama’s muscles tighten, before he gave in completely to Midoriya’s arms, sobs returning, though they sounded less anguished.“Okay.”“Thanks, Izuku.”