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“Yozora told me something weird today.”
Riku hums as they stare out over the cityscape. The night air is cool and crisp, just chilly enough for a light jacket. Riku leans over the railing of the balcony while Sora lounges in one of the deck chairs. It’s odd to see a world so large, spread out for miles in every direction. Sometimes, planes fly overhead–
huge
planes with two floors, carrying people across vast oceans. It’s beyond anything they’ve encountered before.
“He said…you were only able to find me because of one reason.”
Riku shrugged, not bothering to glance back. “Dream Eater stuff, I guess. I didn’t think too hard about it.”
Sora sighs. “He doesn’t know what a Dream Eater is, remember? They don’t have those here.”
“So, what’s his great idea, then?” Riku asks, voice a little too tight. Yozora is…fine. Riku just wishes his glances at Sora were brief, rather than drawn out, his heterochromatic eyes always holding something almost ancient.
Sora lets out a nervous breath, which causes Riku to finally turn around, leaning his back against the railing. His best friend is toying with the frayed strings of his gloves, refusing to look anywhere other than his hands.
“He said…it’s because you’re in love with me.”
Silence.
“Okay…?” Riku raises an eyebrow. “I guess that makes sense. Though, he’s not aware of my literal superpower to jump into your dreams, so that may change his perspective.”
For the first time, Sora’s gaze meets his. Sora’s brow is drawn, taught, lips parted, looking more confused than Riku has ever seen him. “It’s…not true, though.”
Riku breathes a laugh and folds his arms over his chest. His love might have helped him get to Quadratum, but it certainly wasn’t what got him here. It’s not why Riku was literally dreaming about this city every night for a year. He’s expecting Sora to laugh, to joke about how Yozora doesn’t have the full story, but the boy just inclines his head, his expression even more incredulous.
“Are you serious?” Riku asks, smile fading.
“Am I
serious
?”
It’s Riku’s turn to be confused. “I get that he wants to find an answer that makes sense to him, but I
definitely
think it’s
mostly
because I can enter your dreams at will.”
“Riku,” Sora starts carefully, “Are you in love with me?”
Oh.
Riku is stunned into silence. He notices Sora’s breaths, practically hears his rapid heartbeat–he’s as still as the ocean at dawn.
He had no idea.
“I thought…I thought you knew,” Riku stammers.
“
How
could I know that?” Sora’s voice is a little too loud, considering how late it is, and breaks on the last syllable. “Riku–
what
?”
“Sora, Xehanort stole your dreams without any of us knowing, so I subconsciously altered my entire state of being to make sure you didn’t have nightmares. And that’s
one
example.” Riku can’t help but laugh again, uneasy. He hadn’t considered…
Sora stares into space, like he’s putting the pieces together for the first time in his life. Starting to shake, Riku takes the time to sit in the lounge chair opposite Sora. This is turning into a confession he thought his actions had already made years ago. Suddenly, he’s standing in front of Sora’s sleeping pod, realizing that he isn’t giving a second thought to erasing two Nobodies from existence to wake him up.
“But you–we’re best friends.”
Riku nods gently, afraid that any sudden movements will scare Sora away like a wounded animal. “Of course we are.”
“You
love
me, though.”
“I can’t do both?”
Sora stares at him, eyes red and welling. Riku instantly feels his stomach drop. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
“I didn’t think I had to,” Riku tells him honestly.
Sora glares. “That’s a pretty big feeling to not mention before diving into my dreams.”
Sora makes it sound like Riku spied on him in the shower. At the time, Riku had only one thing on his mind–save Sora, no matter the cost. He also thought, then, that they were on the same page about their relationship. Best friends ‘till the end, even though Riku will always love him in a way Sora can’t.
“I never thought about it like that,” Riku whispers with a dry mouth. “I’m sorry.”
“You
never thought
–I’ve
told
you not to do everything on your own,” Sora groans. “You didn’t violate me, if that’s what you’re thinking right now.”
Riku winces.
“I didn’t even realize you liked boys,” Sora grumbles.
Riku blinks. “Okay. That’s on you, not me.”
“But, Kairi…we used to fight over her.”
“Sora, we were fighting over
you
.” A lot of things are starting to make sense, very suddenly, and Riku feels like he has whiplash. “I never liked Kairi that way.”
“You wanted to share the paopu with her,” Sora reminds him. “You told me–a long time ago, yeah, but you held it over my head.”
“It was a joke.” Oh, god. This
whole time
Sora thought he was serious about that. “Sora. Half the joke was that I don’t like girls, but you do.”
“I always assumed you liked girls,” Sora tells him, exasperated. “Which was kind of assholish of me. Sorry. But you’ve never shown interest in guys like that. Not to me, at least.”
Riku can’t help but roll his eyes. “It’s always been you. That’s why.”
Sora blinks away tears, breath stolen from his lungs. “I don’t…I’m not into…”
“I know,” Riku tells him delicately. “It’s okay. I never thought you were. I figured that’s why we never had to talk about it like this. Feeling the way I do about you…makes it more complicated than it needs to be.”
“
God
, I feel like shit.”
“Yeah, I was trying to avoid making that worse.” Riku smirks, though his heart is aching as he watches Sora cry, frustrated. “Sora, it’s okay. Really. It doesn’t make me love you less, and you’re still my best friend.”
Sora wipes a tear with the back of his glove. “You shouldn’t love me. All I can do is make you rescue me. Don’t you get sick of that?”
Riku’s smirk turns into a fond smile. “Nah. Besides, you’ve rescued me, before–way more often than you know.”
Sora, with tear-streaked cheeks, curiously tilts his head. “I have?”
“Sure,” Riku says. He kicks his feet up on the outdoor coffee table, leaning back. “You don’t have to be standing next to me to save me from the darkness. Sometimes, the only thing that kept me going was knowing I would get back to you.”
Sora’s breath hitches. “Riku…”
“It was always you,” Riku says, mostly to himself. “The one thing that matters most.”
“You
have
to realize how stupidly romantic you sound, right now,” Sora laughs thickly. “I’ve been so dumb. I just thought we were really close.”
“You’re not dumb. We
are
really close.”
“Well, you know. Platonically. From both of us.”
“It’s not that I don’t see you as my best friend,” Riku assures him. “You’re not some unobtainable childhood crush, Sora. I love you in every way there is to love someone. I don’t want to downplay what we are. It’s not lesser.”
Is that a blush Riku sees? He tells himself it’s just the dim lighting shining from the apartment. Sora clears his throat. “And…you don’t care if I don’t like boys?”
“I know you don’t, and it’s never changed anything before now. I never tried to stop feeling this way, either. Maybe I should have.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“It’s a very, very good experience to be in love with you,” Riku admits with a rush of breath. “I guess I’ve been selfish trying to chase that feeling. And it’s not like I’ve ever felt shame over liking boys, so…I told myself it could go unspoken. I always figured there was no way in hell you didn’t already know.”
“You underestimate my ability to be as unobservant as possible,” Sora says dryly.
Riku laughs again, as if this isn’t technically a rejection. “I guess so.”
It’s quiet for a few moments, aside from the sound of the occasional jet flying overhead. This world, though expansive, is still peaceful. Riku doesn’t mind being stuck here. Especially if he’s with Sora.
“How…how did you know you liked boys?”
It’s not the question Riku expects. Sora is picking at his nails, knees together, eyes cast downward.
“You and the other guys at the island would always talk about the girls,” Riku shrugged. “You’d describe them in certain ways, and I just started realizing those thoughts never crossed my mind. After that, I rolled with it and didn’t look back.”
“But…you’ve never been with a girl,” Sora says. Riku narrows his eyes–he doesn’t expect Sora’s words to stab him like a knife, and it must be apparent in his expression. Quickly, Sora tries to recover. “I mean–how do you know if you’ve never…?”
No one’s ever asked him this. It sounds sour coming from Sora’s mouth. “You don’t believe me?”
“I’m trying to understand,” Sora insists. “I’ve never been with girls
or
boys. How am I supposed to know if I like either of them?”
“It sounds like you’re trying to tell me I can’t know until I try harder,” Riku snaps. The venom in his voice is surprising, but he doesn’t apologize for it. Something hot crawls up his spine. “You think I’ll just kiss a girl and get over it, or something?”
“I didn’t say that!” Sora groans, punching his palm. “I’m saying–for
me
. My whole life, my whole
journey
after getting the Keyblade–I’ve only ever seen princes with princesses. Guy and a girl. It never occurred to me that it didn't have to be that way.”
The fire in Riku’s chest freezes instantly and he tries his best not to feel like an asshole for misunderstanding. Still, it’s difficult to immediately quell the heat in his tone. “Don’t you like Kairi? I feel like that’s self-explanatory.”
Sora huffs, falls back in his chair, and stares at the stars. “I guess.”
Whoa.
Back up.
“You guess,” Riku repeats. “What does that mean?”
“It means I never thought too hard about it,” Sora grumbles. “Like, yeah, I think she’s pretty, and I’m positive that I’ve had a crush on her before. But we’ve grown apart. Not just physically; I feel it in my heart. I’ve always told myself we’re obviously going to end up together. Now, though…it’s like I never gave myself permission to think otherwise.”
Riku is too scared to speak. As much as Sora hasn’t thought about a future without Kairi, Riku has never dared to consider that Sora might be like
him
.
“I think maybe
I
need to kiss someone and get over it.”
Riku’s tongue feels like cotton. He’s never felt a wave of so many emotions before. “What are you saying?”
Sora finally meets his eyes. “I’m saying, if I need to kiss
someone
–”
The laugh that leaves Riku is sardonic and ice cold. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“What?”
“I open up to you and you want to use me as your little experiment?” Riku could never be angry with Sora, but he’s
damn
close. “That’s how you see me? I like boys, and I like you, so it’s convenient?”
Sora glares. “You’re putting words in my mouth, Riku.”
“No, I’m reading between the lines.”
Riku stands, and Sora immediately follows. He’s blocking Riku’s way to the sliding door. “You seriously think I feel that way? After
everything
? After spending an entire year searching the universe for you, asking everyone I met if they had even heard your name?”
Riku grits his teeth. “Sure sounds like it.”
“I’m
scared
, dumbass,” Sora tells him desperately. “I’m scared I’m
wrong
. I’m terrified I’ll jump on this, on you, and realize down the line that I fucked up. I want to make sure I won’t hurt you, because I’ve done enough of that for one lifetime.”
“You realize that involves me thinking I have a chance at what I thought I could never have,” Riku says, voice cracking at the seams. “I’m
okay
with you not feeling the same, Sora. I’ve been operating on that for years, and it’s done me just fine.”
“Please just kiss me,” Sora begs, stepping closer. His eyes sparkle under the starlight and Riku can’t look away. “You’ll never be an experiment to me. It’s not about that. I want to
know
. I need to know I’m not delusional.”
Sora takes Riku’s hand and brings it to his cheek. Without thinking, Riku brushes Sora’s dark under eyes with his thumb. He pushes a lock of hair behind Sora’s ear. It comes as easy and as subconsciously as breathing. He can barely process Sora’s request, daring to not overanalyze it, even now.
“Please,” Sora whispers again.
Nothing could have stopped Riku from kissing him, then.
Sora gasps against his lips, like he wasn’t expecting to be obliged. How could he beg like that and think Riku could walk away? No, Riku is too busy curving his palm around the back of Sora’s neck, drawing him closer, drinking him in. If this is the last time he gets to experience this high, he’s making the most of it.
Sora’s lips are soft and his breath is uncontrolled. Inexperienced. He goes limp against Riku, so Riku wraps an arm around his waist. His fingertips brush the hot skin under Sora’s shirt hem. A soft whine comes from Sora’s throat, sounding so fucking needy that Riku has to grip his hair for purchase.
“Riku–”
Riku feels drunk. Sora is the finest wine he’s ever tasted, the strongest whiskey, the sweetest rum. He doesn’t even realize he’s pushing Sora backwards until the boy’s back hits the building next to the sliding door. Riku crowds him against the concrete, pulling him closer by his hip. Sora’s arms are locked around his neck, keeping him underwater.
Sora bites gently on Riku’s bottom lip and Riku’s head spins, dizzy with the overwhelming sensation. Where did he learn
that
? His nails dig into Sora’s neck and leave marks in their wake. The longer they kiss, the hungrier Riku feels, and the harder Sora presses their hips together.
When they finally pull away, their lips are swollen and their cheeks are flushed. Riku’s heart is battering away in his chest. Sora’s pupils are so wide they nearly eclipse his blue irises.
“Whoa,” Sora breathes.
“Yeah.” Riku leans forward, groaning, pushing his face into the crook of Sora’s neck. “Shit.”
“That bad, huh?” Sora teases, and Riku can hear the lazy smile on his lips. His voice is rough and dark. “Guess I need more practice.”
“Don’t say that,” Riku murmurs against Sora’s skin. “I ran out of impulse control.”
Sora’s laugh is melodic. Riku feels a rush of something–similar to the energy that courses through him when he toes the line of losing control of his darkness–and can’t stop himself from pressing his lips to Sora’s throat. Sora’s breath catches, and Riku bites gently on the spot, worrying it between his teeth.
“
Shit
–”
Sora’s nails are digging into his spine in an instant. Riku can feel Sora shivering as he gasps.
You don’t deserve this
.
He knows that. God, he knows. Sora trusts him more than anyone. He’s vulnerable, questioning himself, and Riku gave in too easily. Even if Sora told him right now that he’s
only
experimenting, Riku knows he wouldn’t be able to walk away. Sora is bad for him, and it’s torturous that Riku doesn’t care about that.
“We should stop,” Riku tries to say, but it comes out far headier than he intends. “This isn’t–”
“I’m going to Firaga your ass into next
week
if you walk away from me,” Sora warns dangerously, but it’s an empty threat, considering he can barely light a candle after arriving in this world. He punctuates with a roll of his hips, and Riku feels possessed as he reaches up the back of Sora’s shirt. “I
want
this. I want
you
.”
“We should go slow,” Riku protests, even as his actions are doing anything but. “I wouldn’t survive it–if you woke up tomorrow and told me you didn’t…”
Sora pushes Riku back slightly, and before Riku can finish feeling a sinking disappointment, he kisses Riku on the nose. “Does it look like I don’t want this?”
Riku takes a good look. Sora is shaking, face and neck flushed red. He’s hard between them and not trying to hide it. It’s too good to be true, though. After years and
years
of pining, of accepting he’ll never feel the touch of Sora’s lips to his, believing this is actually real is a herculean task. Doesn’t Sora get that? Doesn’t he see that Riku would do anything for him? Not only in this moment, but always?
Pulling away takes more strength than Riku has ever used before. “I need to go slow, Sora.”
Sora’s shoulders drop. “Okay.”
“You have to understand,” Riku follows quickly. “This is–you are quite literally my entire reason for existing. The universe keeps showing me that, over and over. The year back home, when you weren’t there…the only reason I didn’t lose myself was because I saw your dreams every night, so I knew you were still alive.”
“Riku…”
“This,” Riku says, gesturing between them, “Is so far beyond…what I
ever
thought I could have. You need to be sure.”
“I
am
sure.”
“You’re also horny,” Riku attempts to tease, and Sora groans with embarrassment. “Maybe not the best state to be in when you want to make a life-altering decision.”
Sora rolls his eyes petulantly. “You can’t just give me this and walk away.”
“I can, and I will,” Riku quips lightly. He tries his best to make it look effortless as he steps back, though now he’s faced with the full image of a
wrecked
Sora. His v-neck is dipping just enough to show his collarbone, along with the mark that Riku left on his neck. Riku’s eyes dart to the bruise, swallowing down something primal. He mentally pleads that Sora doesn’t ask for more, because it would be far too easy to crumble when he’s staring at this.
“Get some sleep,” Riku tells him. It’s late, after all.
Sora laughs, tongue caught between his teeth. “
Sleep
, huh?”
Riku slides past him to reach the glass door, and swoops in close to give him a peck on the crown of his head. “I don’t care what you do before that, as long as you’re in bed. Goodnight, Sora.”
In the guest room, Riku is buzzing with energy, feeling like thunder magic is coursing through his veins. Without thinking, he hops into the en suite shower, sighing when the hot water hits his skin. It doesn’t do much to quell the spinning in his stomach, but it makes it easier for him to breathe.
That was…
He supposes a normal young adult would jerk off at a time like this. If Sora were some random crush, a one-off date, that’s probably how Riku would handle the situation. But Riku isn’t even hard–all he can think about is how
bad
he just fucked up.
“Shit,” he murmurs helplessly, dragging his hands down his face and slumping against the wall.
This is such a monumentally impressive way to end a friendship, he thinks. Riku traversed realities just to find Sora, without even having an escape route or a way back home. Strelitzia says this is basically an afterlife for Keyblade wielders, which means Riku is trying to bail him out of
death
. After all that, he folds to an experimental kiss.
He can’t even remember the anger in his heart when Sora first asked. It had seemed so offensive at the time, but Riku had been imagining Sora clumsily brushing their lips and immediately recoiling. He hadn’t expected Sora to kiss him back. Not like
that
.
It takes him thirty minutes to leave the shower, and he only gets out because the water starts running cold. He’s in the middle of wrapping a towel around his waist when there’s a knock at his door.
Riku answers it, only to see Sora standing in the hallway. Sora’s eyes widen, and Riku is suddenly very aware how shirtless he is. Sora stares at his feet, and mutters, “I couldn’t sleep.”
Immediately, Riku feels guilty about his extra-long shower. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you up.”
“No, I…it didn’t.” Sora huffs. “We don’t have to…do anything. I just wanted to be near you, I guess.”
Riku’s heart warms. It’s further proof that Sora doesn’t think he’s a complete freak. He nods, opening the door wider so Sora can slip inside. “Sure. Give me a minute, I need to dry off.”
Obediently, Sora moves to sit on Riku’s bed. This apartment is huge, and even the guest rooms have luxurious beds. Sora says he’s asked Strelitzia countless times how she manages to
afford
a place like this, but she always giggles and prances away. Just another mystery that comes with Quadratum.
Riku steps into the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom, considering the best way to get dressed without being completely naked in front of Sora. He’s about to reach for the sweatpants he discarded on the floor earlier that morning when he hears Sora’s quiet gasp.
Alarmed, Riku whirls around. The trauma that comes with always expecting a new Heartless around the corner is probably never going away, and he barely stops himself from instinctively calling for Braveheart. But Sora isn’t glaring into the shadows, and he’s not battle-ready. He’s got a palm over his mouth, looking all sorts of worried.
“What happened?” Riku asks, unsure what could have possibly made him react this way.
“Your back.”
Oh.
Sora stands, and he’s across the room in an instant, approaching Riku hesitantly. Riku stands facing the mirror, watching through it as Sora examines the scarred emblem etched across his skin.
“Does it hurt?”
“No,” Riku lies.
Sora bites his lip. Riku hasn’t been able to sleep on his back ever since he became Sora’s Dream Eater. At first, it was because he tried to apply scar treatments to it. Ointments, balms, oils–none of it worked. Mickey told him the scar was most likely burned into his skin for the rest of his life, right down to the muscle. After that, sleeping on the scar felt almost disrespectful.
“I don’t mind it,” Riku says, and this time, he’s truthful. “It reminds me that I can protect you. I wouldn’t have been able to find you here if I never got it.”
Wordlessly, Sora’s fingertips trace the emblem’s ragged lines. It’s soothing. Riku sighs, shaky but content to feel Sora’s touch. He gets to the small of Riku’s back when he notices another scar, brazen across the left side of Riku’s waist.
“Xemnas,” Sora mutters quietly. “Right?”
“Yeah.” That one doesn’t hurt anymore on the surface. It’s not magical–Riku just didn’t take care of it fast enough. “Rainy days still make it sore, sometimes.”
Sora spots yet another scar–faded, less angry, but prominent against Riku’s left pectoral. He reaches around, places his palm over it, and stares at Riku in the mirror. “What’s this one?”
Riku laughs quietly, sardonically. “Your Nobody, handing me my ass. Broke my wrist, too, the fucker.”
Sora is quiet. Something dark swims in his beautiful blue eyes, and Riku reaches up to grip his hand.
“These are all because of me.”
Riku’s heart skips and he whirls around, not caring that the towel slips a little. “No. Don’t talk like that.”
“They
are
. You’re
always
having to rescue me. My dreams, Xemnas’ swords,
Roxas
…”
“I’d do it all again,” Riku tells him softly. He pushes a lock of hair behind Sora’s ear without a second thought. “I’d do it a thousand more times. Sora.”
“Stop,” Sora sputters, pushing away from Riku like he’ll leave another scar if he touches Riku’s skin for too long. “Stop saying stuff like that.”
“You want me to lie?”
Sora’s eyes are welling with tears for the second time that night. “What would I do if you died for me? Huh? Do you think about that when you do dumb, reckless shit to protect me?!”
Riku just pulls him closer until Sora melts against his bare chest. “Yes. And I know that, even if it hurt, you’d still be alive. And that’s what matters to me.”
“
You
matter to me.” Sora’s tears are hot and wet against Riku’s skin. “I never want you to think you’re just some experiment, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me.”
Riku shushes him when he hiccups. “Not to assume your sexuality, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you’ve moved past experimenting.”
Sora’s laugh is wet and exasperated.
“And I’ll always take care of you,” Riku tells him. “The day I came to terms with my darkness was the day I realized you were the most important thing in my life. And I will
always
keep you safe.”
They’re quiet for a few moments, aside from Sora’s gentle breaths and his occasional sob. Riku rubs his back, his neck, and his waist, searching for knots he can soothe. His towel is completely loose, but Sora is pressed against him so tightly that he’s pinning it between them. Riku is sure to hold it in place as Sora steps back.
“Lay down,” Riku says. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
By the time he heads to bed, he’s only wearing sweatpants, and his hair is tied up loosely at the base of his head. Sora is snuggled beneath the covers, staring out the window next to the bed that overlooks the skyline. Without a word, Riku slips under the blanket with him, and wraps an arm around Sora’s waist.
He’s
tiny
. It’s obvious that he’s lost a bit of muscle since arriving in Quadratum, but it’s also clear that he’s barely been eating. Riku can’t chastise him–he’s also been reluctant to actually eat any of the food in this world. It’s different. It tastes like ash.
Sora’s shoulders slump as he pushes back against Riku, and for the moment, there’s nothing sexual between them. Riku just holds Sora, his best friend, and buries his face in brown hair. It’s been years since they’ve done this. Probably a decade.
“Sora?”
“Yeah?”
Riku bites his cheek. Then, “I love you.”
Sora rolls over so they can face each other, and his eyes are bright and curious. Gently, he cups Riku’s jaw and brushes his thumb over his lip.
“You’re beautiful,” Sora whispers. “Donald and Goofy tease me about it.” They both ignore the use of present tense.
Riku can’t help but huff a surprised laugh. “Seriously? I feel like I’m just normal-looking.”
Sora’s expression is egregious. “You are the
hottest
guy I’ve ever seen.”
Riku is not expecting the flush that rises from his neck. “I am
not
.”
“Even before tonight, I thought about you,” Sora admits to prove his point. “Not…not
too
much, because I think I was afraid. But. Once or twice.”
Riku quirks an eyebrow. “Thought about me
how
?”
“You know how.”
Their ankles bump and tangle together. Riku’s heart starts beating fast as he evaluates his options. He could still make Sora go back to his room, but he’s a simple man, and he doesn’t have the willpower to even attempt that conversation. He could offer for Sora to share his bed, so long as they’re both wearing their sweatpants in the morning. But, Sora’s eyes are darkening again, his lips parting dangerously as he waits for Riku to react.
“I’ve thought about you, too,” Riku tells him, as if it’s not incredibly obvious by this point.
Sora’s eyes go wide, whining as he ducks his head down in embarrassment. “No! Why! Ugh…”
Riku laughs, quiet, like he’s telling a secret. Without thinking about it (because, if he thinks, he’ll talk himself down) he crawls over Sora’s small frame. Riku’s knees are on either side of Sora’s hips, keeping him pinned in place. “Have you
seen
you?”
The bruise on Sora’s neck is fading, leaving Riku feeling dissatisfied. If Sora’s going to come to his bed and whine underneath of him, Riku deserves to leave him a reminder of it. He dips his head down, lips brushing across the hollow of Sora’s throat, teeth dragging across his collarbone.
“The amount of times I’ve thought about pushing you against a wall like I did earlier,” Riku hums. “You don’t even know.”
He finds a good spot, just over Sora’s pulse point, and bites down like he did before. Though, this time, he’s purposeful. He
wants
to mark Sora as his own. He wants people to see a burning red spot, stark against Sora’s tanned skin.
Sora can’t lie still, hips wiggling as his breath comes out in hot rushes. “Riku…”
By the time Riku is finished, Sora’s neck is ravished and covered in marks. Just like when they were on the balcony, Sora is hard and frustrated, trying to catch his breath.
“I thought you said you needed to go slow,” Sora huffs, and Riku is mesmerized by how his cheeks flush pink.
“You make it very difficult.”
Sora grins, tongue caught between his teeth. “Good.”
All Riku can think about is how Yozora will see these marks. His breathing is labored, unable to tear his eyes from Sora looking utterly
claimed
. Yozora will finally realize that Sora is
Riku’s
. Normally, Riku would abhor staking such ownership over Sora–and, it’s not like Yozora has made any tangible moves towards him. It doesn’t matter, though. Riku’s hazy thoughts are a jumble of
mineminemine
.
Riku leans back to put his full weight on Sora’s hips, causing the younger boy to gasp and clap a hand over his mouth. This only happens in Riku’s dreams. How can this be real? How can Sora be so wrecked underneath him? He hasn’t felt a rush of power like this in so long–he feels long-buried darkness clawing its way up his throat. A spell threatens to slip through his fingers, and he clenches his fist to stop it.
It gives him an idea.
“Do you trust me?” Riku asks Sora in a hushed whisper.
“What kind of question is that?” Sora groans, his voice cracking around the edges. “Obviously.”
Riku smirks. “Even outside of battle? Outside of your dreams?”
Sora rolls his eyes. “You could pitch just about any kink at me, right now, and I’d let you do it.”
Riku has never been turned on so quickly in his life. He was getting there, but Sora pushes him over the edge with his statement. He leans forward, groaning, fists grasping the sheets and lips brushing Sora’s ear.
“Do not talk like that,” he says lowly.
“You have something in mind?” Sora teases.
Suddenly, Sora is wearing far too much clothing. Riku doesn’t allow himself the opportunity to think before he roughly handles Sora and pulls off his shirt, pushing him back to the mattress with a force that surprises himself. Sora, winded, is completely still. Just watching.
Experimentally, Riku glides his fingertips across Sora’s bare chest. It’s not like he hasn’t seen Sora shirtless before. Hell, it’s never been a big deal, even when Riku became painfully aware of his feelings. Now, in a different context, he allows himself to
look
. Sora’s pectorals are littered with scar tissue. There’s a massive, faint, lightning-shaped mar moving from his hip up to his rib cage. He looks
far
more beat-up than Riku.
“Shit,” Riku can’t stop himself from breathing out. “Sora…”
Sora makes a weak attempt at a grin. “It’s not like Xehanort went easy on me near the end. They don’t bother me.”
Riku rakes a hand through his silver hair, trying to contain himself–trying to remember that Xehanort is long gone. “Did you get hit by Thundaza or something?”
Sora furrows his brow before glancing at his torso and seeing the branches of his scar. “Oh. No, that was Larxene, actually. I don’t know what she was casting but it
sucked
.”
It should have gone without saying that Sora’s body would be a little beat up after all these years. Admittedly, Sora’s been through more battles. Of course he’d have a collection of scars. But, the idea of anyone hurting Sora…
his
Sora…
“Please don’t ruin the mood with your angst. Are you gonna fuck me or what?”
“Someone’s expectant,” Riku mutters, though something molten and dark is settling in his gut. “Who said that was happening?”
Sora sits up on his elbow, pulls Riku down by the base of his neck, and whispers, “Me.”
And they’re kissing again. This time, it’s messier, because Riku is trying to get Sora out of his sweatpants at the same time. The air between them is hot, their breath is rushed, and Riku feels lightheaded, like Sora is his first hit of oxygen after being trapped underwater. He’s never going to get tired of this, is he?
“What was your idea?” Sora asks, gazing up at Riku through his lashes.
Riku grips the smallest part of Sora’s waist and finds the power he’s been diminishing since they first touched on the balcony. “Ready?”
He waits for Sora to hesitantly nod. Then, he pushes energy through his hands–he makes sure to stay steady and controlled, using his darkness to dampen the intensity of his miniscule thunder spell. Sora’s back arches and his lips part, a cry caught in his throat. “Oh,
fuck
–”
Riku backs off, pulling the mana away from Sora’s skin. Sora is shaking, torso completely flushed–Riku doesn’t think he’s ever seen Sora’s eyes so dark.
“You used darkness…?” Sora asks, dazed.
“It has its uses.”
Sora is shaking when he says, “You should do that when you’re inside me.”
Riku tries not to hide the jolt of shock and warmth that makes his heart stutter. He reverts back to his natural state–the older one, the one with more experience, who isn’t afraid of confrontation and awkward conversations. “Do you have lube?”
“N-no,” Sora pouts, flushing. “Do we need it?”
“Sora.” Riku smirks. God, he’s cute. “You make a very good argument, but I’d hurt you.”
“I don’t care.”
“Didn’t we
just
go over this? I care. Deeply. We’ll go to the store tomorrow.” Riku still pulls at Sora’s waistband, nearly exposing him. He pauses. Waits for a confirmation.
“Mixed messages,” Sora mumbles, eyes downcast.
“I don’t have to be inside you to make you feel good,” Riku says lowly. Sora shivers. “Do you want me to stop?”
Wordlessly, Sora raises his hips slightly, staring at Riku expectantly.
Riku has done far more terrifying things than removing his best friend’s sweatpants. He’s wandered through Hell, alone. He’s given up his humanity. He’s fought battles on the edge of Nothing, not knowing if a way back to the real world even existed. He breathes deeply and remembers to be The More Experienced One.
He doesn’t pull Sora’s pants completely off. Riku allows himself a few seconds to just
look
at Sora in his entirety. He looks a little bashful, maybe, but his eyes are determined. Expectant.
“My turn,” Sora murmurs. Riku’s head spins with the effort it takes to keep his thighs from shaking when Sora tugs on his pants, next.
Before Riku can register that they’re both completely exposed to one another, Sora brings him back down with another kiss. This one is more heated, more desperate–Sora’s tiny, muffled moans sound more like pleas. Riku has to steady himself with one elbow pressed to the mattress, experimentally pushing his hips towards Sora’s. Sora gasps against his lips, and the air between them is hot and charged.
“Sora–”
Suddenly, Riku is pulled into another bruising kiss, and Sora ruts his hips more confidently until Riku has to break away for breath. “No more talking.”
Riku can do that.
He wishes so badly Sora could just
take it
, but he’s never done this before, and Riku will be damned if he’s ever the cause of Sora’s pain again. So, he does the next best thing–he reaches between them and uses one hand to circle around their cocks.
“Ah!” Sora whines, jerking into Riku’s hand. His nails dig into Riku’s back, right against his Dream Eater scar. It doesn’t hurt like Riku expects. Instead, it feels more sensitive than what’s happening between them now. Their foreheads touch and Riku bites his lip, trying to center himself. Trying to make sure Sora comes first.
Unfortunately, Sora is more perceptive than usual. “Did you feel that?”
“Shut up,” Riku mumbles. He tries to distract Sora by stroking them both in tandem, and while Sora’s breathing becomes more labored, he still has a mischievous smirk on his lips.
“You did,” Sora pants. “What about this?”
Sora’s nails find the rough lines of Riku’s scar and drag across it. Riku’s vision tunnels, and he bites his own lip hard enough to worry about drawing blood. “Holy
shit
, Sora–”
Despite Riku’s attempts at distraction, Sora laughs breathlessly, rutting into Riku’s hand. “I bet I could make you come just by doing this.”
“Oh my god,” Riku groans, half-stunned and half-on-the-edge. Keeping up his stroking rhythm is nearly impossible now. “You can’t just say that.”
“Maybe it’s only when
I
touch it,” Sora muses. Riku is having a hard time understanding how he can still form sentences, because he lost that ability himself a few seconds ago. Sora’s still exploring his scar, nails brushing the top curves of the sigil. “Huh? Maybe I’m the only one who can do this to you.”
“Sora–”
“Did you even try to heal it?” Sora whispers. His breath is still rushed, and he’s throbbing in Riku’s hand, but he sounds so fucking
in control
.
Riku can only shake his head in admission.
“That’s so hot,” Sora tells him. “You needed me to mark you.”
“Can you
please
shut up,” Riku pleads.
“No.” Sora’s skin is flushed everywhere, and he’s got a stupid smile on his face that should not be as attractive as it is. “You should come first.”
Riku stops stroking them and uses that hand to grab Sora’s chin. Still, they’re rutting against each other, skin-on-skin, which is still nearly rendering Riku nonverbal. Suddenly, their rivalry is back in full force, and the light in Sora’s eyes is daring and competitive. Riku’s thumb passes over Sora’s bottom lip, and Sora holds it there with his teeth.
Sora presses against the sigil, right at the base of Riku’s spine, and Riku jolts against him. This time, Sora doesn’t let up. He explores the scar, like he’s testing for weak points, massaging the parts that cause Riku to shake above him.
“Come on,” Sora whispers to him. “Come on, Riku, show me how sensitive you are.”
“Sora,
fuck
.”
Sora’s raking his nails up Riku’s back, and that’s what sends Riku over the edge. The coil inside him snaps, and he comes on Sora’s stomach, Sora coaxing him through his climax with soft words.
Without thinking, Riku reaches between them again and encircles his hand around Sora’s cock, and finally picks up a rhythm. Sora’s nearly there already–his back arches, and he’s not shy about the moans leaving his lips. Good. Riku hopes someone hears him. Sora is gripping the sheets, eyes screwed shut. Finally, he breaks, his mess mixing with Riku’s across his abs.
Riku rolls off of him, panting, waiting for Sora to look down at himself. He waits for Sora to have a moment of clarity, for him to tell Riku he has to leave, but it never comes. Instead, there’s a goofy smile on his face, and he turns into Riku’s chest.
“Agh, Sora,” Riku grumbles. “You’re a mess.”
Sora giggles, gives Riku a peck on his lips, and says, “Your fault.”
“Are you gonna let me clean you up?”
“I don’t want you to,” Sora says stubbornly.
“Sora. You’re gonna hate yourself later if you don’t let me–”
Sora clings to him. He pulls both of their sweatpants back up around their hips, settles onto Riku’s chest, and sighs. “Nope.”
“Oh, so I get to be sticky all night.”
“Yep.”
“You’re insufferable.”
They lie there in silence, waiting for their breaths and heartbeats to slow. Riku is about to ask Sora if–
“Can I stay?” Sora asks sheepishly without looking up. “You’re comfy.”
Riku gives a fond smile that Sora can’t see, though he’s sure it comes through in his voice. “Of course you can stay.”
For the first time in years, Riku falls asleep on his back.