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It was dark and he was running. That's all he knew at first.
This dark was unfamiliar though. No smell of sulfur or burning flesh so it wasn't the cage. The ground was warm and uneven so it wasn't the bunker. Did he always run barefoot? Why was he running?
"Sammy," it sang from behind.
Cold fear shot through him as he ran faster. Now he remembered. This… thing had trapped him.Confused him to the point where he'd forgotten that he wanted to run. Until he found a hole in its defenses and everything came flooding back. He'd managed to escape but barely. And getting caught would be worse than death.
Getting caught meant seeing anger he hadn't known since his dad was alive. Trying to ignore the truth behind saying a monster gave him the bruises. Seeing the malice behind an innocent mask that not even Dean seemed to see through. But how could he?If there was one thing John Winchester taught them it was how to perfectly ignore the signs. The flinching and whimpering and submitting to evil just to keep it happy.
It was getting closer. Every scream of "Sammy" was louder and angrier. A part of him wanted to stop. Fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness.
The rest of him fell into a dead sprint.
He was running towards something. A weak beam of light up ahead that he hadn't seen in awhile. He knew what it was. He knew who it was.
The only one who saw through the mask. Who didn't say Sam was too big for someone to hurt him like this. Who stepped in and took a blow meant for him.
He'd been forced to cut contact after that.
"You're darkness, Sam. Light like that isn't good for you." The words had been spoken in a whisper. A parody of pillowtalk. But if you only focused on the words, you'd miss the dagger being dragged across his ribs.
His hands stretched out as he ran. He couldn't go back. He needed help. Needed the light. Needed his light. Needed…"Cas!"
Calling out was risky. It was going to hear him.
But Cas heard him too. Tears of relief slid down his face as the grace took the form of a familiar vessel. The form was dim, flickering in and out. But it was there.
Cas was there.
"Cas!" he called again."Samuel," he rasped. His voice was weaker than his form but it sounded like music.
Sam yanked him into an embrace, feeling the grace soothe the ache left from forcing him away."You were right. I never should've let him in. Never should've let him control me. I can't escape.""Sammy!"
He flinched away.
Tugging at the arm of Cas's trench coat, he said, "We gotta go. He'll find us. He'll hurt me and make you go away again.""He already knows I'm here, Samuel. It took a lot to get through his defenses." A warm hand rested on the one clenching the coat. "Running won't help.""Running’s all I can do. I can't fight him." he gripped the coat tighter. "He's stronger than me. Shit, he's stronger than Lucifer. Help me, Cas. Get me out of here!""Sam, I don't know where you are."That shocked him slack, hands falling to his sides. "Wh-what do you mean? I'm right in front of you. Just teleport us out of here!"Cas' eyebrows furrowed in confusion before the realization set in.
"Do you know you're dreaming?"His endless stamina vanished. He couldn't feel his legs. Couldn't catch his breath.
Dreaming? But…"I thought he seared a sigil in my brain. To keep you out.""Hence the difficulty getting in." A glance over Sam's shoulder had his eyes glowing blue. It only lasted a second but his form flickered when it was over.
"Sigils seared into flesh can fade, Samuel. But he's not stupid and a lot of what little strength I have left is trying to keep him away."Sam pressed his lips together, trying not to scream in frustration. He was going to get caught. He was going to get hurt. He was going to lose Cas again.
"Cas… Help me. We're just in the bunker.""The warded bunker. I don't know what sigils are there but I've been trying for months to get in. Each time I am sent away, crashing further and further from you. The last time it seemed as if the entrance had disappeared entirely. I can't find you."Sam's once secretly beloved nickname echoed through the dark, far too close for comfort. He hated it now.
"You need to cast him out of your mind, Samuel."Before he could stop, he had his hair in a death grip. Pulling hurt but it made other things hurt less.
"I can't, I've tried. He says… there's no use. That our minds bonded or something. All I do is make him angrier."Cas calmly covered his hands again, pulling them away. His grip was inconsistent, getting weaker and stronger with the shifting of his form."All unwanted bonds can be broken, Samuel. You're stronger than you know. Stronger than he thinks you are.""You're the only person in the world who calls me Samuel," he whispered. A tear slid down his cheek. "I miss it."Cas smiled and it was soft and light and made him want to die just to see if this would be his heaven. But it's easy to think about heaven when you're trapped in hell.
"Sammy," he heard just over his shoulder. The air turned sour and crackled with magic. They'd been found.
He didn't dare turn, clutching Castiel's hand in desperation. But there was almost nothing to hold anymore.
"He's forcing me away." There was nothing he could do without Sam's help. And Sam was too lost to help himself. "You have to cast him out.""I can't!" Sam cried.
"You must!" The angel's free hand ghosted down his cheek. "You have to break the bond and force him away. I'm sorry but you have to try to save yourself."With one last smile, he summoned all the strength he had and pushed Sam behind him.
Time seemed to slow as he fell. Darkness gave way to pure, blue light fighting the dark purple Sam was trying so hard to escape. Quiet gave way to the sharp crack of dark magic and the beat of angel wings.
But there was too much impurity and Cas was far too weak.The angel shouted out in pain and he finally found his voice."Castiel?!""Samuel!""Sammy?"He sat up with a gasp. The sheets underneath him were soaked through with sweat and he couldn't catch his breath. When did his room get this dark? He always slept with a light on. Why wasn't the light on?A hand on his shoulder had him flinching into full alertness.
He didn't turn because he hated looking Max in the eye on nights like this. The dream had his magic on edge and the once-alluring purple glow of his eyes was terrifying in the dark.
All he said was "Bad dream?" But the tightness of his grip said something more along the lines of "Bad boy.""Stupid dream," Sam replied. Soft. Submissive. Exactly as he was supposed to be.
His shoulder was released as the hand found his forehead.
"Lemme make it better."He nodded, biting his lip to keep from screaming as the warding on his brain was re-seared. It kept Cas away while locking Max in.
Blood dripped down his chin by the time it was done.
Max leaned forward. Even his smell felt like a mask. Vanilla and flowers over darkness and decay.
His tongue swept up the blood in one smooth motion before pulling the torn lip into his mouth. Sam shut his eyes, trying to forget the days where he did this to Ruby.
It just made him feel smaller.
After an eternity, Max pulled away, almost moaning in pleasure. What satisfaction this gave him was a mystery.
"Thank you," Sam mumbled because he was supposed to.
"Go back to sleep, Sammy."He quickly laid back and shut his eyes. It was hard sleeping after what happened but if he didn't try Max would want to talk about it. Talking about it involved the dagger on the nightstand.It took a while but sleep soon found him.
But then it was dark and he wanted to run. Get far away as fast as his legs would carry him.
"Why would you want to do that, Sammy?"
He flinched. He wasn't allowed to think like that any more than he was allowed to close off his mind.
"I think I miss the light sometimes," he said carefully.
Max illuminated the area, surrounding them in a purple haze."Better?"And he nodded, trying not to wonder when his boyfriend's eyes went black.