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“What’s got you so down, hon?” Rita asks, her voice a little tinny. Taika frowns at the screen and checks his connection before moving from the couch to the bedroom. “You haven’t sent me any memes in the past few days. If you hadn’t taken this call, I’d have considered calling the authorities to try and find you.”Ah, much better, he thinks as he sinks into many, many cushions on his bed. Their bed. “’m not down,” he argues, squinting at his screen again. “Are you in London?” “Yeah!” she replies, voice bubbly and much clearer.He can see her bright smile in HD on his screen and feels the corners of his own lips lift, too. Okay, connectivity issues fixed, apparently. Taika relaxes just a fraction.Still, he doesn’t want to answer Rita’s question and getting Rita to talk about herself is the best way to dodge it for now. He doesn’t really want to talk about how fucking annoying it is that he could potentially message Rhys from his laptop if he wanted to, and how, after a few hours of opening the thread between him and Rhys, he’s been avoiding his messaging app entirely to try and respect Rhys’s boundaries, how he’s been hiding his phone in hopes it’ll get easier not to text Rhys. He wants to pat himself on the back for how well he’s been keeping his own impulse control in check (but fuck is it difficult).And oh, Rita’s talking to him. He manages to tune back in.“I also spent some time in the studio here and I love the vibes so far. It’s very different, much more relaxed now.” She winks at him and Taika feels a vague sense of dread settling over him. Rita isn’t going to let him off the hook so easily. “And now, I was kind of hoping to relax in my own bed for a few nights and call my partner to see if he’s still alive.”“He is,” Taika says, distractedly (trying to distract himself, finding distraction everywhere). One of the pillows isn’t quite the way he’d like it to be, and he fidgets with it for a second, putting his phone down on the comforter. Also, he’d rather not talk about his bad mood. He’d much rather focus on Rita and her singing. “Any fantastic new material recorded today?”“Taika.”“What?” He picks his phone back up, tries to act innocent, but he knows what Rita means. What she wants. She sounds serious, and he knows he’s taken it too far because she’s serious. Fuck. She’s actually worried about him.“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m on about. Something is bothering you and you haven’t messaged me since that tattoo appointment.” She’s frowning, now, and Taika wonders if she’s made the connection yet. “You haven’t even shown me the end result. That’s usually the first thing you do once the artist is done. Talk to–” Rita gasps and Taika sees her realise when his issue arose. He’d be very impressed if she knew exactly what the cause of it was, though. “It’s that tattoo appointment, isn’t it?”Taika nods slowly. “It is.” He wonders, quite suddenly, why he hasn’t told her the entire truth about the appointment. “I...” He trails off. How can he best tell her? Because he wants to, he honestly wants to, but he’s already in so deep that he’s been spiralling, and he’s just not sure what to say.“Who was the artist? You didn’t tell me.”Ah, that. That was his tiny lie of omission. The thing he hadn’t exactly told her. He doesn’t know why, but he knew, instinctively and with terrifying certainty, that it would be a bad idea to tell her. But with her asking directly, he can’t skirt around the truth any longer.“Rhys did the tattoo. Darby.”It’s quiet for just a little too long, and Taika checks the screen to see if their call is still connected. It is, and he can see Rita thinking, finger tapping her cheek in thought. Her nails are a bright pink and Taika focuses on that rather than the pensive look on her face.He should have told her before the appointment, probably.“Oh,” she says, eventually. “Uh, any reason you didn’t tell me your long-time friend-slash-crush was going to be tattooing you?”Rita is well-aware of what happens to Taika when the needle starts buzzing, has left her own mark on his right hip, a mirror to the spot Taika picked for Rhys to tattoo on just a few days earlier. The appointment with Rhys had played out pretty similarly to what happened with Rita, now that he’s thinking about it.It’s not the right thought to focus on.“Because it was my friend-slash-crush who was going to be putting ink on me?” Taika tries not to sound too petulant or uncertain but the look Rita throws him says it’s not working.“Why didn’t you tell me, Taika. Be honest with me.”Taika sighs. “I didn’t think it’d actually be as big a deal as it turned out to be. So I didn’t tell you.”“Hindsight is 20-20?”“God, sure.” Taika sighs again and sinks deeper into the pillows. He’s not trying to disappear but he’s not... not trying to disappear. Fuck, he’d prefer to have this conversation face to face, rather than with a several-hour time zone different between them. “I made a fucking mistake and I think it might have cost me a friendship or two.”Rita hums and jots something down on a little notepad to her left that Taika didn’t notice before. It’s only barely in the frame but it intrigues him, and he wants to ask about it but the intensity of Rita’s eyes when she looks at him stops him. “Like I said, talk to me. Don’t just throw your assumptions at me because you have a tendency to jump to conclusions. Start at the beginning. This was when?”“Few nights ago.” Taika lets go of his curiosity about her notepad because he knows Rita’s not going to indulge him if he tries to ask after it. He runs a hand through his hair, then pinches the bridge of his nose. “Rhys managed to learn how to tattoo because he apparently wanted it to be a good tattoo. The artist he apprenticed with, if you could call that short period an apprenticeship, well, she apparently trusts him enough to just... leave the studio, so it was just the two of us there.” Taika is immediately and violently thrown into the memory, remembering with perfect clarity how he’d pushed his pants and underwear down far enough for his dick to be on display, how Rhys had swallowed at the sight but simply accepted Taika’s nakedness, how Rhys had fallen so deep into the zone that he hadn’t noticed Taika’s cock growing harder on his stomach– Taika swallows and wets his lips. He’s talking to Rita about this, and unless she initiates, he’s not going to touch his hardening cock to this memory. “We were all alone there, and I felt confident enough to partially strip and sit there, bare ass on the leather.”Rita’s eyebrows rise but her flushed cheeks give away that she’s interested in hearing what happened. She might just start something with this whole retelling and Taika feels excited at that thought. The aftermath of what happened in the studio wasn’t fantastic, or isn’t great yet, but the memory is hot and if she wants to get off...“You wanted him to tattoo on your hipbone, right?” Taika nods and her eyes glaze over for a second. “So you let him tattoo you, very close to...” She trails off and looks down on her screen, where Taika’s lower body is just outside of the shot (he knows, and it might be on purpose). Her flush is spreading to her neck, and Taika can feel his cock stir even more. He didn’t expect to be this turned on while recounting what he’s currently thinking of as a mistake, but Rita often surprises him. It’s part of why he loves her. She’s biting her lower lip, and her hand is dipping down outside of the frame... okay. Okay.“Yes,” he says, wetting his own lips. He’s not sure he’s answering her or asking her to continue the downward path her fingers are taking. “Yes. He didn’t even notice when I got hard, only when he took a break for a second.” He’s watching Rita, her bright eyes and flushed face showing how much she’s into this. “Do you want me to tell you exactly what happened? Are you going to touch yourself while I do?”“Yes, please.” Rita barely manages to speak over her gasp. “Fuck, you and Rhys? Please tell me.”Taika should warn her that it doesn’t end very well, but she’s probably already inferred that from the way he dropped off the map after it happened. Instead, he allows himself to drift back into the memory. Maybe a good orgasm will help him relax a little, too.“Rhys didn’t even hesitate,” he says, voice going dark and raspy. “He just went for it. Lips around my cock like that, like it was nothing. Like it wasn’t his first time.” Taika’s hand drifts down, too, adjusting himself in his jogging pants. He doesn’t want to curl his fingers around his own erection yet (not yet, not yet, but he wants anyway); he wants to see what Rita’s doing, wants to see the desire play out on her face.They’re married, sure, but they both know they aren’t cut out for monogamy – even though neither of them have acted on it since their wedding. That whole thing about people behaving like newlyweds apparently also goes for them.Until Taika went and got his cock sucked by Rhys.Not like that was fully planned, either.“But it was?”“Not sure,” Taika confesses. “I like the thought of me being his first, though.”“I’m aware.” Rita rolls her eyes with a laugh. “So...”“Ah, yes.” Taika tries to get himself back on track but he catches the muscles in her arm moving, knows something’s happening just out of the frame, and yes, he knows Rita likes the thought of him with other men, but... he’s never seen her act on it before now. He’s curious, so curious he lets himself be side-tracked. “Are you touching yourself?”“Should I stop?”“No,” Taika breathes, his eyes fixated on the screen. “I want to watch.”Rita hums and props the phone up, then scoots a little back until there’s more of her in the frame. She’s still fully clothed, her short skirt only a little ruffled, somehow not what Taika expected, and he bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from moaning.“Can you still hear me?”“Yeah.” Taika can’t take his eyes off her. Fucking minx, he thinks fondly, as she trails a hand down her body, pinching a nipple through her shirt with a wink at him before moving lower, dipping her fingers between the folds of her skirt. She’s teasing him, taking several minutes to touch herself without actually showing him before she pushes her skirt up slightly to show how she’s gently running a finger over her panties.“Tell me about Rhys, Taika,” she instructs, sounding way too put together for Taika, for the way she’s been teasing herself already. “And tell me when you start touching yourself.”“Rita–”“No, be quiet unless you’re telling me about Rhys.”Taika gasps and watches Rita’s fingers play over her clothed clit, trying to compose himself. She knows what she does to him when she teases herself while they’re apart, when she takes that tone with him. He absolutely loves it.“Well?”Where was he? Oh yes. “He looked so pretty, so... sure when he held my cock steady before he took me in his mouth. He nearly fell over the side table to get closer, and his lips were fucking perfect.” Taika remembers how he hadn’t been able to break eye contact until Rhys’s eyes slipped closed in bliss. “I thought I’d come the second he even touched me.” Taika’s erection is rather insistent at this point and he finally gives in to his own desire, pushing his pants and underwear down just far enough to get a hand around his cock. He moans softly as he takes himself in a loose hold. “Rita, we were holding hands while he swallowed me down like it was barely anything. I...” It had been a fucking romantic blowjob and Taika has to force himself to also pay attention to Rita. He groans as he watches her touch herself, a darker patch already visible on her panties. “Fuck, I miss you. I want to tell you this while you’re next to me so I can show you what Rhys did to me. What this does to me.”“Are you...?” She doesn’t have to ask, Taika just scoots back and shows her the way he’s got a hand on himself. Taika doesn’t have to watch the screen to know she’s smiling. “I miss you too, darling. Tell me more?”“I wound my fingers in his hair to set a rhythm and make sure he didn’t choke, but fuck, he deepthroated me like it was nothing. I wish you could have seen his face: beautifully flushed and tear-streaked and lips so swollen... his eyes were so fucking gorgeous, all glazed over and full of tears and... I think I fell for him again right there and then.” Taika wishes he could show her the memory, let Rita revel in the noises Rhys made, the ease with which the other man had taken him. He pulls himself back to the present when he hears Rita moan. “Fuck, love, when I wanted to ask him if I could come in his mouth, if he wanted me to do that, I nearly had to fight him off. And before I could ask after that, or ask him if I could touch him, he came in his fucking pants.” Taika’s aware his eyes must be glazed over. He’s lost himself in the memory again. In his defence, Rhys had been hot as fuck. Always is. “He came untouched. Didn’t even get a hand on himself.”Rita keens, a broken noise, and Taika lets go of his own groan. He’s not sure he’s this turned on because of the memory, or because of Rita and her reaction to the memory, or just because it’s Rita, but he’s already close, can feel his orgasm waiting just around the corner to sneak up on him.“And uh...” Taika interrupts himself with a moan at a particularly well-placed flick-and-stroke. “And seeing him take so much pleasure in just sucking me off, well. That kind of tipped me over.” Taika revels in the memory for another minute, his hand speeding up slightly, before he turns his attention back to Rita. Her back is arched and she’s got a finger slipped inside her slick pussy, has pushed her panties aside just enough to allow for that. Fuck, she looks good. Coupled with the thoughts of Rhys running through his mind, he doesn’t stand a chance, now does he? (He knows he doesn’t.)But he wants Rita to come, too, and he thinks he could have done better, could have made this sexier, more like his usual dirty talk, but it’s not that kind of tale tonight. It’s not a fantasy, it’s reality, and Rita deserves to know what happened. All he needs is for her to lose it at this point, and he has just the fact to get here there.“You know, Rita, what he did?” He’s close to growling and he’s not used to losing himself like that but he stops trying to hide how aroused he is, his voice dipping even lower. She makes a soft keening noise, and he leans forward slightly, running his thumb over his slit, before he tells her: “He swallowed every fucking last drop of my come.”That has her moaning loudly like he expected, and Taika watches her hips jerk up as she comes. He only needs another few strokes himself before he comes all over his fist.“Shit, Taika,” Rita breathes after they’ve both spent a few minutes recovering and cleaning up. It’s been relatively quiet save for the rustling of sheets as they settled in their respective beds. “Fuck.”“Fuck indeed,” Taika agrees, and he bites his lip. He knows she’s waiting for the twist in the story, because she knows this whole thing has got him in a bad mood, but he’s not sure how to raise it. His orgasm (their shared orgasm) at least sanded down some of the roughest edges to the memory, but Rhys... Rhys breaking down doesn’t feel like something he should share with other people, not even with Rita.“The tattoo isn’t fully finished, is it?” Rita asks, voice gentle and soft, when Taika remains quiet. “It’s part of the reason why you haven’t shown me the end result yet.”“No,” Taika whispers. “No, it isn’t finished.” He’d already pulled the blankets over himself to get himself cosy and warm but he shoves them down to show Rita the empty square on his lower abdomen. “That’s how far we got before he went down on me.”Rita nods but she’s frowning. “I wish I was there with you,” she whispers. “You look like you need a hug.”Taika shrugs and doesn’t say anything. He does need a hug, and Rita’s are fantastic, but he kind of wants to feel Rhys’s arms around him right now.Rita must know that, but she waits him out. She knows that keeping quiet means eventually Taika will fill the silence with his own chatter and will spill his anxieties, and oh, how he hates how well she knows him after a pretty short period (no, he loves it. He honest to god loves it (loves her) so much it terrifies him sometimes). The one reason he’s still quiet is that he’s trying to figure out what’ll be coming out of his mouth once he starts talking.But he doesn’t start talking. Instead of words, his body produces tears.“Taiks?” Rita’s voice is filled with concern but Taika can’t look up because he’ll start sobbing outright and he’s not sure he wants her to see him like that today, not sure he can handle that. “Taika, it’s okay if this was too much and you want to be alone for a bit.”“Don’t want to be alone, that’s when the thoughts get worse,” Taika mumbles, and Rita seems to hear him anyway, understands him easier than he thought (hoped).“Sitting in silence with me until you want to be alone also works?” Rita offers. He finally looks up and sees her worried frown. “Or I could sing to you? Tell me what you need.”“Dunno.” Well, he does know. He looks down at his blanket-covered chest. What he needs is Rhys close to him. He needs Rhys to talk to him, needs Rhys and him to be okay again, needs Rhys to be okay.He needs Rhys.But that’s not something Rita can give him, and it’s unfair to ask her for anything he doesn’t really want right now. He does like her company, though – it keeps his thoughts busy and it helps him feel more at ease in his own skin. They manage to pass the time well, laugh together a lot. He’s often surprised at how easy their companionship came.But Rita knows him too well.“I can’t get you Rhys, my love,” she whispers. He doesn’t look up but he knows the exact look on her face, the one where pity and love and sadness are married into something that somehow expressed how much she cares about him. He doesn’t need to see it. He knows it. “But I wish there was something I could do to help.”“I haven’t even told you what happened,” Taika says, feeling helpless and probably sounding it, too. “I haven’t told you how...” He swallows, more tears spilling over his cheeks. He can’t seem to stop them anymore, and it doesn’t make breathing around the words any easier, but he manages to talk now, at least. “How his fucking blowjob was stellar and it was all good and fine and dandy and then it just was awkward. For both of us.” He sniffs and tries to wipe the tears off his cheeks but they keep coming and he gives up quickly enough. “He... he said he needed time.” Taika does not tab over to his messages to see if Rhys has sent something else because he doesn’t need to. Rhys hasn’t sent any new messages. His phone would have let him know with some custom robot noises. Courtesy of Rhys, of course. Fuck. “He hasn’t messaged me since letting me know he got home safe.”And fuck, his voice breaks again when he tells Rita that.“Oh, my love. I’m so sorry, are you okay?”“No.” It’s a relief to finally say that out loud. “No, I don’t think I’m okay.” He bites the inside of his cheek. He doesn’t want to start sobbing.Rita doesn’t say anything but she starts humming softly and Taika can’t place the song but it’s soothing and he lets her voice wash over him, sinking into it until he calms down. Rita’s swaying gently from left to right and Taika finds himself following the same motion, finds himself rocking from side to side too, the movement centring him, and he closes his eyes to focus on Rita’s humming.It’s meditative in the way yoga never was for him. Rita’s voice has him entering that headspace he’s heard so many people wax poetic about. He can let go of some of the worries he’s been holding on to, and Taika is still crying, but it feels less like he’s crying but more like he’s letting go. It makes sense to cry, he thinks, it’s just a way of your body getting rid of the brain chemicals. After all, he’s had a pretty intense few days, and he can’t even cuddle his wife about it. He’s so grateful for her calling him and singing to him to calm him down, but he’s still feeling like shit. More relaxed, yes, but still shitty.“What should I about this mess?” Taika eventually asks, and Rita stops humming. He nearly opens his eyes when the silence settles around them, but he breathes deeply and keeps himself in the dark. His thoughts are much clearer when he can’t see a thing.“Well, you know him better than I do.” Rita sighs. “I think you probably know what to do.”“What if I don’t?” He’s aware it’s his uncertainty bubbling over, making his voice wobble again, but suddenly he’s anxious about not knowing how to talk to Rhys. Or how to flirt with him, more like. Fuck. What if he’s accidentally fucked up the chemistry between them? David is going to be so fucking mad.“Hey, Taika. Look at me.” Rita’s voice is soft but commanding, and Taika can’t help but obey. He finally opens his eyes, focuses on Rita’s concerned face on the screen in front of him. “You know what to say to him. You’re worried, and I understand, honestly. Just... let him know you’re thinking about him without forcing it? You could text him to let him know the tattoo is healing, to let him know you’re willing to wait for him but are still thinking about him. Just don’t make him feel like he owes you something.”“I don’t want to push him away.”“You’re not. Fuck, Taika, I don’t think you can.” Rita shakes her head. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, mate, but he looks at you like you’ve hung the moon and the stars in the sky.”“I know.”“Then–”Taika doesn’t wait for her to complete her sentence. “Rosie and Rhys aren’t like us,” he says with a sigh. “They're... they’re more traditional. Have been together for a long time and probably will be for a long time. They’re a family. The fact that we even did something has probably shaken Rhys to his fucking core. I know Rosie but I don’t know how she’d react to this whole thing.”“You’re worrying about that?”Taika looks at his screen with the flattest look he can muster. Of course he’s worrying about that. Of course. Why wouldn’t he? Rhys might be interested but a single negative word from his wife will have him back off like Taika’s the newest strain of some nasty virus.“Love, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that that’s not your burden to carry. You know Rhys better than I do but I think he’ll tell you the outcome of whatever talk he’s had. You have to trust him to do that, yeah?” She chuckles. “And hey, he might be wondering the same thing about us. He doesn’t know how our relationship works.”Taika nods slowly. “Just feels stupid to let go of that one big factor. I know you’re okay with me and Rhys, but I don’t know if Rosie is.”“You could always ask her if it really bothers you and you can’t wait until Rhys is ready to tell you.”“But that’s...” Taika inhales sharply. Betrayal, he thinks. He knows Rita means well, and it’s a very logical next step, but it feels like betrayal to Rhys and Rosie, somehow. “I can’t do that. It feels like I’m ignoring his request for time. I’d feel so shitty about going behind his back.”Rita shrugs but there’s a smile playing around her lips. “Well, those are your options, and it seems like you’re aware of them.”“I’ll text him,” Taika says, decisively. He swallows and feels his shoulders relax as he blows out his breath, now that he’s decided on a course of action. (It reminds him so much of the way he’s been swinging back and forth on seducing Rhys or not, of the way Rhys seems to instil fear and uncertainty in him he’s not had in a long time, of the way Rhys makes him doubt himself and everything around him. Thank fuck for Rita absolutely obliterating that doubt for a second.) “I’ll text him and hope he replies. And then it’s just... a waiting game.” He nods once and then smiles at Rita. “Thanks for trying to get me out of my funk, love.”“Anytime, darling. You okay to be on your own again?”“Seems so.” Taika feels better. Less mopey. More loved. A little more prepared for the uncertainty that’s to come. “I'll try and keep the shitty memes coming, Rita.”“Good. I kind of missed them.” She laughs. “They’re the worst but they make me laugh. They’re a bright spot in my day and I just… I missed them so much. And if you’re not sending those, just keep in touch. Please?”“I will, I will. Is it okay if I...?” He doesn’t know how he’s going to end that sentence but Rita smiles anyway.“Yeah, yeah, go ahead.” Rita waves at him. “I’ll talk to you soon, love. Don’t drop off the map again.”“Can’t promise I won’t but I’ll try.” With that and a kiss aimed at the screen, Taika ends the call. He doesn’t waste any time and immediately opens his messaging thread with Rhys.Rhys’s messages had been so cute, the emojis he used made Taika’s chest swell with something soft he doesn’t want to think about too much (okay. Okay. Rhys is fucking cute.). But Rhys hadn’t actually contacted him past those messages, and Taika’s been hesitant to reach out so far.He’s wanted to, sure, but also, Rhys asked for something and Taika’s not enough of an asshole to ignore that. What happened between them isn’t something tiny, and Rhys might just not have understood Taika’s been flirting with him for a while already. Maybe that blowjob was what had Rhys finally putting together part of the puzzle about his (and Taika’s) feelings. Maybe that was the first time Rhys even thought about it like that. Maybe… maybe it’s just all new for Rhys and he’s not an asshole about not texting Taika quicker.Still, it has resulted in Taika trying to write new scripts with the Wi-Fi on his laptop switched off and trying to hide his phone so he can’t check his messages (he probably should have asked his PA to take his phone instead, but that felt too extreme, and he needed his phone near him in case Rhys texted or called, and no, he’s not in too deep thank you for asking), in Taika not making any progress on any of the scripts he’s been working on, in Taika desperately trying to figure out how to deal with David telling him off for fucking with their chemistry on Flag.He considers his phone for a second with something like dread. Taika is aware that Rhys and he are on the verge of something. They might actually already be over the verge (or… something?), and they’ve already jumped off the cliff, have already done the thing they can’t turn back on, but they haven’t landed yet, haven’t yet found out how high that cliff is, if there’s going to be a ravine with nothing but spiky rocks or if the cliff is just a tiny rock with a trampoline on the other side that’ll launch them up into the arms of something new and natural and beautiful.It's up to them to figure out where and how they’ll land.And isn’t that a terrifying thought?It takes Taika a few minutes to drag his thoughts back to messaging Rhys instead of worrying about the possibilities of fallout (he should have been way past them, should not be worrying about that, because if it happened, it happened, and it might have already happened, and he might simply not know and– Focus, Taika.). It doesn’t solve the question of how he wants (needs) to approach Rhys. He just doesn’t know, if he’s honest.But he needs to do it anyway.He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and tries not to think too hard when he opens his eyes again and snaps an awkward pic of the tattoo. He doesn’t want his dick in the image, doesn’t need that right now (it’ll only drive Rhys further away, probably, which is really, really not what he wants), and he needs Rhys to see how well it’s healed already, how neat his lines turned out.Between Taika’s rather sad thoughts about Rhys, there are also some bright spots, and most of them are focused on how proud he is of Rhys and his goddamn skill. Taika shakes his head and checks if the photo isn’t blurry. God. He might be a director but he’s not the best at taking pictures. It’s maybe a little too zoomed in, but it’s decent enough to show how the skin has healed and how crisp the lines look, and there’s not even an implication of a dick or pubic hair or anything in the shot, which is what Taika was aiming for.So far, so good.It’s easy enough to send Rhys the picture. Oh, now that he’s given himself permission to text Rhys (with Rita’s help), he can’t wait to text Rhys. Adding a line about his skin and the tattoo is easy, too. > Me: [image attached]> Me: Skin + tat are looking good Taika swallows and takes a few deep breaths. Oh, how he wants to hug Rhys right now. He bites the inside of his cheek to try and keep the other feelings in. He’s tired and sad and scared but also he’s proud of Rhys and he hasn’t felt this fucking conflicted in a long time. Why is it so hard to put emotions into the right words without overstepping?Taika takes another breath and sends his final two messages. He’s proud of Rhys (and terrified, too), and he needs Rhys to know that he can call anytime. > Me: You did well, for what it’s worth> Me: I’ll be here whenever you’re ready 🤙 The “call me” sign looks fucking bad, Taika thinks, the second after he’s sent the message. But he’d nearly tacked on a heart, and that felt like coming on too hard and too fast for Rhys, like overstepping the tentative boundaries drawn in the sand. Plus, he'd already taken an embarrassing amount of time to compose these fucking messages.(Taika hasn’t felt this lost and scared in a long time.)He hopes it’s clear to Rhys that he cares. That he thinks Rhys deserves (needs) kindness. He hopes Rhys doesn't see his desperation in those texts, the awkwardness in the “call me” sign.Taika sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. He looks down at his phone again. Finally messaging Rhys, something he’s been itching to do, has broken some of the manic energy that carried him through the past few days of doing… well. Doing nothing. Procrastinating. Pretending to write. Ignoring his phone. Worrying about Rhys.He’s suddenly feeling very tired.He’s tired as fuck, but he's still worried. He can’t really put his concern about Rhys aside, and he does have a way to check up on Rhys, an in Rhys doesn’t necessarily have with Taika. He tugs his lower lip between his teeth and slowly lets go as he scrolls through his contacts to find Rosie’s number. He tells himself it’s not going behind Rhys’s back, contacting his wife.He tells himself it’s okay, he can be sneaky about it.He tells himself he won’t feel guilty about it. (That one is definitely a lie.)Taika’s staring at the screen, reading the last messages they’ve exchanged (something about Rhys, as usual - most of their texts have been about Rhys, or Rhys’s projects, or sometimes his own projects), and he’s suddenly not sure if he wants to contact her.He thought maybe calling her was a good idea, to talk to her, hear her voice and maybe Rhys’s in the background if she’s home and Rhys is near, but she has a decent read on him and would probably hear that he’s cried recently, and he’s not sure he can deal with that. Neither is he sure he could come up with the exact right question to ask, one that wouldn’t give away how it’s probably his fault that Rhys might not be doing okay. The conversation would probably spiral from there, and Taika… well, he doesn’t feel ready for that.Texting doesn’t sound that much easier. With how much he just struggled through texting Rhys, he’s not sure it’ll be any better trying to figure out what to tell Rosie.He taps his fingernail against the edge of his phone screen, thinking.Rosie’s always been a bit of a wildcard to him. He likes her, certainly, and he thinks they can be considered friends. He loves how practical she is, how well she can keep Rhys’s head on straight and his glasses near him and his diary organised. She’s probably the reason why he’s so successful, and Taika honestly doesn’t envy her. He has often wished for someone like Rosie in his own life, but for him, a combination of a PA and Rita will have to do. He can’t imagine there are loads of Rosies to go spare, that there are enough people who just handle their lives so well.But he also knows she’s fiercely protective of Rhys. And he doesn’t want to get on her bad side for hurting Rhys, and he doesn’t want to burden her with the knowledge of what happened if Rhys hasn’t told her yet. He wants to check on Rhys, yeah, but he also firmly believes that Rhys should be the one to tell his wife what happened.Taika still wants to check in and see how Rhys is doing, though.If Rosie is half the woman Rhys always (still) gets a little starry-eyed about, she doubtlessly already knows something is wrong. Right?He stops himself from texting Rosie for now.He’ll give Rhys time to reply, and then he can text Rosie in a day or two to check in if he still feels that same need to text Rosie. It’s a potentially-stupid-potentially-fan-fucking-tastic idea, after all, and his track record for those ideas panning out in his favour isn’t the best. Taika breaks about 38 hours later, after he’s spent another day and night not really doing anything but worry and bite his nails while staring at his phone, tapping the screen to wake it up every few minutes or so. Rhys hasn’t replied and Taika’s so tired he can’t think straight anymore, and he messages Rosie before his subconscious can try and argue him into not texting at all. > Me: Hey, Rhys doing okay? -T He throws his phone on the bed as if it’s on fire, far enough that he can’t pick it up the second it buzzes at him. He should at least try to nap now that he’s feeling tired, right?(He tells himself it’s just hard to sleep because he’s wound himself up again, because he knows Rosie’s usually glued to her phone and that she’s usually very quick to reply , and his phone isn’t buzzing. Maybe, he wonders briefly, she’s just confused because he’s texting her and she doesn’t know what to do with that. Or she doesn’t know how to reply. Or he should just go to sleep because he’s coming up with scenarios again.)Taika manages to sleep, eventually, but it’s fitful and he thinks it’s probably one of the worst, least fulfilling naps ever. He feels grumpy and disoriented until he switches on a lamp and finally figures out where his phone went to.His phone.Oh, yes. When he finds it and tries to check the time, he remembers his panic (fuck) of the night before and oh. Yeah, his phone not buzzing is definitely not Rosie not texting back.Oh no. Fuck.He looks at the notifications on his screen in horror, instantly more awake. There are several missed calls and even more text messages, and they’re all from Rosie. Fuck. He must have worried her.Taika sees another notification come in and his phone is suspiciously quiet. Oh. Oh. He’s managed to put his phone on silent, probably while fiddling with his phone before he fell asleep. God, that explains a hell of a lot. Taika sighs at his own theatrics, aware that he’s at it again, and he blinks himself further awake before he focuses on the messages.He’s aware he can be quick to jump to conclusions and he’s worried about the number of times Rosie’s tried to call him, but she’d still be calling him if there really was something wrong with Rhys, right? Right.Right.With a deep breath, he quickly (frantically) scans Rosie’s messages. < Rosie: tried calling but you’re probably asleep< Rosie: ignore those, no need to call back< Rosie: and stop worrying< Rosie: Rhys is clearly thinking about something and he’s not talking to me yet< Rosie: he’s very quiet at the moment but he’s okay< Rosie: are you? you don’t usually check in like this There’s no judgment in any of the messages, not even when she’s clearly anticipating his panic and taking care of that problem for him. Not even when she knows something is up with Rhys. She’s a fucking smart woman and she has probably put some of the pieces together at this point, and she’s not asking him about any of it. Taika’s respect for her grows by the second, and he’s relieved to hear Rhys is okay.God. Rhys is okay.And Rosie’s asking about him. Oh, what a woman. > Me: I’m good, thanks Rosie <3 It feels easy to text Rosie the heart he wanted to send Rhys, easier than he thought. It’s easy to be genuine and he’s surprised at how easily he composes these messages compared to the ones he sent to Rhys. He exhales slowly and decides to put himself out there. Rosie deserves some honesty from him, too. > Me: I miss his texts< Rosie: I’ll let him know <3< Rosie: call me anytime btw – I’m old enough to have a working voicemail that i listen to 🙃> Me: 😂🤣> Me: thank you <3 Taika’s not sure what to think about their exchange but he makes a stupidly bad meme about it to send to Rita anyway. She’ll love that he’s bonding with Rosie, and that Rosie’s so kind to him.He’s not sure how long that kindness will last once she knows what happened between him and Rhys, but he’ll accept whatever kindness between the two of them for now.And he can only hope Rhys talks to her soon, and that Rosie’s kind enough to share Rhys with him. He can only hope.