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The brightest lights couldn't force Octavian's eyes away. The blend of fluid dance and rigid structure very few could pull off and yet, he did it perfectly. The base of the stage was raised a few feet off the ground so Octavian had to tilt his head to see him. his neck hurt from how often he looked at the boy on the stage. He wasn't sure who he was or how long he had been there but Octavian loved him. After a moment of staring at the man, Octavian felt a tug on his arm. looking over he saw his best friend, Molly. under the bright lights of all the rides in the carnival, you could almost, almost, miss all the pink on her.
Her pink hair that were box braided was also tied into two high ponytails on the back of her head. She wore her usual pink gas mask to hide her face along with pink heart sunglasses. The strawberry dress she wore regularly was beautiful in the bright lights, strawberries placed at random on the pattern mixed with all the lace. It was the perfect dress for her. her combat boots almost looked out of place on her. everything else was so soft and kind but those were scary, they were something out of a military base (which wasn't far from the truth) painted pink with shitty acrylic paint (again not far from the truth).
"dude hurry up and stop being gay for the performer! the Zipper's line is almost gone!" she whined and tugged him towards the ride he had been avoiding all night. She was so excited to ride the ride all night since it was the one night a year she wouldn't be stared at like a freak for dressing how she did. with a huff octavian started to walk towards the zipper with her. Every so often octavian would catch a glimpse of himself in a shiny surface and cringe at himself. his large red mullet wasn't fluffy anymore from spending so much time around so many people the air fucked with his hair. The septum he usually flipped up when at school was down and his bridge piercing was a shining nightmare for him in the lights.
The fairground was filled with hundreds of people, it was so loud and so hot. How anyone could do this everyday was a mystery to octavian. Adjusting his binder, Octavian looked up at candie, she was on her phone and chatting with molly. She had bought them tickets to ride every ride there so Molly could forget about an incident that happened a few days ago. Octavian didn't know what happened and didn't want to ask in case it was sensitive to her. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair fucking it up more, but at this point he couldnt care less.
The rides around them lit up in hundreds of colours and made octavians' heads spin. He looked up at the zipper squeezing Molly’s hand tighter and tighter. “Moll, soon I need to go,” he whispered to her. Looking down at her friend, Molly looked at the line. “Can you wait till after the ride Octo?” she whispered at him. With a breath octavian nodded and looked up at the zipper. It was huge and so bright. “Ya lets just. Ya” he moved closer to her resting his head on her shoulder. Soon the three friends were loaded onto the ride, candie and molly on the outside and octavian on inside.
“Moll, after can we go on the ferris wheel?” she asked, leaning forward to look at molly. Biting her lip Molly looked at the fairground, the ferris wheel was in the center surrounded by all the games making the most sound. “Octo can you handle that? It'll be fast” she placed a hand on his arm. He shrugged and looked at her holding a hand out and lighting his hand on fire. He let the fire dance across his palm and over his fingers. “Too much Moll, might blow up” he extinguished his flaim. Candie looked at them and sighed. “After this we’ll go ok? Maybe you can light the fireworks.” she smiled happily at them.
The ride started and Octavian grabbed Molly's hand holding it tight, closing his eyes. It felt like his insides were moving all over his body, his heart jumped into his throat as the ride went upside down. He brought his hands up to his mouth, willing the bile in the back of his throat to go back down. It was a mistake to go to the fair, too much of everything caused him to feel sick. Opening his eyes he looked outside the bars seeing the world spin and spin and spin going higher and lower it's all so fast. In a flash of colour he wasn't in the zipper anymore, octavian was on the ground in some bushes.
Taking deep breaths he slowly stood up. His legs were shaking and he felt like he would pass out. “Molly…” Octavian held his head leaning on a fence and looked around for Molly or Candie or anyone he knew. Running a hand over his face before pushing off the fence, Octavian started walking to the zipper to wait for his friends. Spotting his two friends stepping off the ride he smiled at them. “Octo!” Molly walked over to him and hugged him. And looked over his face. “God what happened? One moment you were next to us the next you were gone!” She held him close and pressed a hand to his forehead checking his temperature.
“God Octo, when was the last time you used magic?” Candie asked and ushered them away. Passed the rides and passed the bright lights, the loud noises and past all the carnival games. “Octavian, you need to use magic soon before you hurt yourself.” Candie scolded him in a hushed voice running a hand over her face. Soon the three passed the gates and looked for the firework display. Molly's sibling was lighting the fireworks, and Molly hoped it could convince them to let Octavian light the fireworks.
“Vulc! Vulc!” Molly shouted and ran over to the person kneeling before lines and lines of fireworks. "what's up moll ball?" they asked and stood up looking at the three of them, their eyes landing on octavian. "Can Octo light the fireworks?" She asked, clasping her hands together in a begging motion. placing their hands on their hips Vulcan rolled their eyes and nodded. "Fine, fine, but don't do anything stupid, it's boiling hot and I don't want you getting hurt." with that they left walking back into the fairgrounds. With a large smile Molly walked to where Vulcan was kneeling and looked at what they were looking at. It was a timer telling when to light the fireworks.
Octavian knelt at the back row of fireworks, lighting his hand on fire and letting the fire dance up his arm and up to his back and down back to his hand. The warmth felt nice on his hand. The still hot summer air from the summer sun was harsh but the fire wasn't harsh. It was a light warmth, to his surprise it didn't hurt him, light his clothes on fire, or sting his nose when he smelt it. It was beautiful, something he rarely ever saw. Deep breaths caused the flaim to seemingly breath, rising and falling the flaim sent shivers up his back.
Molly stood looking at octavian. “Ready octo? And… light them!” with that the fire spread from his body to each firework, slowly the fire lit them. Looking up he watched the fireworks shoot into the sky, they were beautiful and he couldn't help but stare at the skyline. Standing on a ride two figures stood, one smaller probably 13 or younger. The other was taller, clearly an adult, you couldn't see either’s face, all you could tell they were looking at octavian. As the next firework was set off it obstructed them and when the firework was out of view both were gone.
“Hey octo? Wanna spend the night at mine?” Candie asked, sipping her slushy. She leaned on the fence smiling at them. “Oh ya sure! Sounds like fun!” he smiled and stood up letting the fire flow from his hands down to his feet and lighting more fireworks. “Moll you in?” Candie pushed off the fence handing her cup to Molly to happily drink it. “Oh absolutely! Why would I turn down a free stay at candies” she hugged her and looked up at the fireworks happily holding her friend and pulled down her gas mask to drink her drink.
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Digging around the house, Octavian looked for his staff. It wasn't in its normal spot in his closet and it wasn't under his bed. The large wooden piece covered in magic wasn't anywhere he would expect it to be. Looking in his messy room, Octavian stood in the center biting his lip. He looked under the pile of clothes in his closet, it wasn't under his bed where he shoved things he didn't want mom to see. It wasn't in any secret compartments revealed with magic, the staff wasn't anywhere. Grabbing his bag he looked through it to make sure he had everything. Clothes, books, charger, headphones, meds, toothbrush and paste, he had everything except his goddamn staff.Leaving his room and heading down the stairs, Octavian looked for his staff. Running a hand along the wall as he walked he looked in the hall closet, wasn't there. It wasn't in the pantry, wasn't in the bathroom where iris usually hid it. “Mom! Ris! Have either of you taken my staff?” he called and stood in the living room. He groaned and Iris called back. “Haven't touched it! Mom didn't touch it either” her voice high and she poked her head out her door. “Can you summon it?” she asked, leaning on the frame.Huffing he nodded “come outside and watch me?” he asked and headed to the door to go outside. Happily iris walked out of her room and to the door, she was in a pretty blue hoodie that covered her shorts. Her hair was pinned back with butterfly clips and she wore white leg warmers with matching socks. She walked out behind octavian and stood in the soft grass shoving her hands in her pocket. Her smile was beautiful as she watched her brother stand in the center of their front yard, he held his hand out and concentrated. Eventually he materialized from thin air and hopped into his hand.“Where was it?” Octavian asked and let go of the wood so it floated next to him. He looked around the wood seeing if there was any indication of where it was. Huffing he smiled at Iris pressing a hand through his hair. “Well I should head to the candies soon, will you be ok alone?” she nodded, making a shooing motion. “Yes yes I'll be fine! Go have fun with your friends” turning on the balls of her feet she went back inside and closed the door. He willed his shoes onto his feet and started walking to candies house. His staff floated behind him, to anyone else it wasnt there but to those with magic it was following him.He walked past the junkyard him Molly and Candie often hang out in when bored or octavian needed to use magic alone. It was a shitty place and smelt disgusting but it brought back good memories. Smiling at the memory he continued walking and looked at his phone, it was almost 10 at night. If he kept this pace he would get to her house by 10:15, that would give them half an hour to cook and then the rest of the night to watch shitty movies. Taking a deep breath he looked up ahead to see what was coming up.standing a few yards ahead was a boy, he held a staff close to him and looked around worried. like someone was watching him. He continued walking, drifting over to the far sidewalk. Moving his staff closer just in case. As he got closer the figure noticed him and turned towards him showing his staff. It looked dangerous, long with a curved blade-like end that looked like a sickle. It glowed blue and raideated magic, the person itself was short, maybe 5’1 and shrouded in dark blues and blacks with what looked like constellations. He had horns sprouted out of his head with a wind chime off of them that made noise in the wind.Running a hand through his hair and stopped a few meters away from the kid and looked over it. The kid's stance was… off he looked like someone was going to jump out of him and kill him. Looking over at him the kid raised his staff and disappeared in a small puff of smoke. Knowing that small of cloud the boy wouldn't be far away. Grasping his staff hard octavian started walking again, he debated just teleporting to candies house but decided against it. Soon he arrived at her house and looked around making sure no one was following him. Knocking on the door candie opened it and she looked pretty in this moment.“You made it!” she smiled and hugged him close. Feeling the squeeze of his binder, Octavian smiled weakly and hugged back. “Sugar spice, too much” he whispered and looked at her. Blushing, she nodded and stepped back. “Right right sorry, anyways food time!” leading him to the kitchen octavian smiled and put his stuff on the couch. Soon he entered the kitchen and smiled at Molly who was sitting on the counter on her phone. Her pink braids were tied in a high ponytail and she looked like she was probably talking to someone, most likely vulcan. “Hey shooting star” octavian commented and leaned on the counter.“Hey octo” it smiled and got down. “We ordered pizza because it would take too long to coon now. Is that ok?” nodding octavian yawned before there was a knock at the door. And he went to open the door. Standing there was a boy around their age in a very outgoing outfit, he had the same hair as the boy at the fair and octavian blushed. “Hey is Molly here? Vulcan sent me to watch her” he smiled and put his hands in his pockets. Octavian nodded and turned around “molly! Someones here for you” he called and ushered him inside. Molly went to see who it was and groaned seeing the boy. Running a hand over her face she reached for her gas mask and put it on. “Vulc sent you to watch me?” she asked and the boy nodded. “Well introduce yourself to octo and candie because I'm not.”Walking out, Molly ran a hand through her braids and went to sit in the bathroom. Candie went to talk to her, leaving Octavian and the boy. He was closer to him, and he could see the freckles that dusted his face. He had a soft jawline, pretty pink eyes and a pretty neck. ‘He's cis’ a small voice appeared in his head as his eyes landed on the other Adam's apple. Fidgeting with his hand, Octavian smiled. “My name is Octavian, or Molly calls me octo. I use he/it pronouns” extending his hand to the other. “Leo, vulcan calls me lion, he/him for me” leos hands were well worn and strong.Slowly octavian went back to the kitchen and tied his hair back well waiting for food. For the rest of the night Octavian couldn't think of much else. His mind was filled with thoughts of Leo and his hands, his neck, his eyes, his jaw. Everything screamed boy, everything octavian wasn't. Looking in the window he focused on his reflection. Soft jawline with baby fat, big blue almost purple eyes, his septum and bridge piercings didn't fit his feminine face. his body was too curvy even with a hoodie and a binder. You could still tell he was a girl, his body was a girl. Gripping his sides hard enough to leave marks on his sides and almost tear his shirt.Octavian looked outside and found a boy standing there. The same boy he saw earlier on the walk to candies. As if he could sense octavian's eyes the boy disappeared in a small ball of magic. Rubbing his eyes, Octavian groaned and took a deep breath before turning on the balls of his feet and leaving to the living room to contInue the night.
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When Octavian woke up the next day he looked around, he couldn't remember last night only remembering bits and parts of leo he observed and his little panic attack after meeting leo. ‘he's cis, he'll never like a tranny’ the small voice said again. Even if Octavian knew the voice was lying he couldn't stop thinking. Who would want him? He was trans and used magic plus Leo seemed straight. He would wash his hands 6 times, turn the lights on and off 8 or 9 times until they felt right. He would take 6 bites before swallowing. In short leo was weird but the amazing kind of weird, he would obsessively brush the dirt off his outfit, wash his hands more times then octavian could count, brush his hair 6 times and spit his toothpaste 5 times cause it felt wrong. He was beautiful but god he was weird and octavian couldn't get enough.Getting out of bed octavian made his way to the bathroom shivering at the cold air before getting to the bathroom. The tile was cold and he looked in the mirror taking notice of small almost black spots on his face. ‘Shit. their back’ splashing cold water on his face, octavian started to scrub. He used a towel which was rough and hard on his face. The floral smell of soaps almost made him gag, it got in his nose and mouth and some in his eyes. After a minute of scrubbing he pulled the towel away and looked in the mirror. His face was red and raw from scrubbing but the black marks were gone.The first time they showed up, Octavian thought they were burns but he wasn't lucky enough to get burns. He hung his head over the sink and let out a breath spitting the soap into the sink. After a minute he went to take off his skirt and cover the mirror so he could take a shower. Taking off his binder and his pants he turned on the shower as hot as it could go before getting in and standing under the water letting his skin get burned. It fell over his chest leaving streaks of red on his already dark skin. Grabbing the soap he lathered it into his hair letting it sit in a mound of red on his head. When he finally washed it out red ran down the water from his hair dye and it ran down from his hands to the white of the bathtub.His hands burned with the flames of discomfort under his skin and he pulled at his hair feeling some rip out of his head. ‘To long. I should cut my hair.’ he ran a hand through his hair looking at it and seeing how long it had grown. It had grown a good 4 inches in the two months since he had cut it last. His hair was soft in his hands and he sighed, grabbing the shampoo he had brought specifically for curly hair.Candie's hair was about as straight as her (he knew she had a crush on Molly but humor him) so she didn't have anything for his type of hair.He washed his hair roughly detangling it with his fingers. He had always done his hair in a certain way or he didn't do it at all. Hair was something important to him, if he could control anything he could control his hair. make him look like a boy, make him octavian instead of…Stepping out of the shower, Octavian wrapped a towel around him and grabbed his clothes, taking his shirt off of the mirror and looking at his reflection for a moment. His hair was in a wet mess on his shoulders leaving red water streaks on his face and shoulders dripping into the towel. The towel stained red and he just stared at it wondering what candie would think. She had known him for years and he's done this a million times before but that didn't stop his mind from wishing she would get angry at him for this. His mind was running a million miles an hour and he wished he could just stop thinking for even a moment.He wasn't sure how long he was starting at his reflection but soon there was a knock and he looked over. “Hey, can you hurry up! I need to shower.” It was leo. Octavian froze for a moment before grabbing his stuff and leaving the bathroom walking past Leo quickly trying not to focus on him. Leo was skinny. He was strong but skinny and shorter than you'd think. After he was out of the way, Leo went inside and Octavian went to the room he was staying in to get changed.He pulled on a big hoodie that his chest when puffed out and sweatpants anything to Hide his body. He dried his hair slightly before letting it air dry. Walking out of the room octavian went downstairs to start making food for them all. If he didnt make breakfast then this was wrong. He had to make it for them every single time they had a sleepover. If he didnt everything was wrong, if he didnt make them happy he was wrong. Grabbing out the things to make pancakes he put on music and started cooking, singing and dancing along with the music.Music was very dear to him. It was something him and his mom had. After his dad died when he was 8 octavian and his mother, leto, had started cooking together so they could stay close. She never let his fathers death get to her, she stayed strong and did everything to protect him. She did everything for octavian. It didn't matter how much they struggled, she did everything. When he came out as trans she learned everything she could, cut his hair and got him a new wardrobe.Soon food was done and he yelled for his friends to come eat. Molly was first down and then candie. They started eating and octavian smiled. He didn't remember the black dots on his face, or how they could travel down his neck to his chest and arms. He remembers the first time getting nits very very vividly.Nits ni·tsBlack dots almost like beauty marks. Created from curses. When The one affected gets cursed or hexed they develop nits. If not treated by scrubbing the affected area it can kill you. Cure is unknown, how they work is unknown, the only treatment is scrubbing the affected area till it is gone.He was 12 when the nits first showed up. He was terrified and his mother scrubbed his face, his arms and his chest till he cried from pain to get them away. Periodically they would show back up and he would scrub every inch of his body till he was near tears. He wouldn't tell anyone. He was too embarrassed.