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“Oh, you’ve got to be joking! Really Theo, that's the best you could come up with? You're sorry!?”The look of disappointment growing on your face as you ran your fingers through your hair, taking a deep breath, as you tried to calm your nerves. You couldn’t see a way out of this one, not this time, and thought it hurt you, tugged at you to finally admit it, you had too.The look on his face, that small semblance of guilt and regret written over his features was almost enough to make you forget it, to just sweep it under the rug like he hadn’t screwed up, like he hadn’t hurt you, but it wasn’t.He reached out for you, letting his hand fall short as he saw the way you shirked away from him, clearly not wanting him to touch you in the slightest. The truth was, you were afraid that if you let him, that you wouldn’t be able to go through with it.“I fucked up, I know, baby please..” he pleaded, the smallest traces of nervousness laced in his tone. He looked almost as if he was shaking, truly afraid. He was just about ready to throw himself to his knees and beg you, but he kept his pride, bolstered up and secure.“Fucked up? That's an understatement Theodore!” You had never used his full name before, knowing how much he hated to be called it. You could see the way it stunned him, rendering him speechless for the shortest period of time before his jaw tensed and his body went stiff. You could see his jaw quivering ever so slightly, like he was holding back either tears, or the urge to yell, which one? you didn’t know.“Theo, your hand was down her skirt! Your tongue down her fucking throat! Thats what you call a fuck up?” You wanted to rage, hit him, express how hurt you really were. You felt like your heart had been crushed in his hands, turned to dust with a simple touch, and then the remnants of it were blown into your face, all at your lover's hand.Despite everything you had heard about him, you had taken the chance, the risk, simply because you thought you were different, that he was different when he was with you, but he had proven to be exactly what everyone said. A cheater, a liar, nothing good, that's what he was. Nothing good. You felt so unbelievably stupid, falling for him. You could never seem to fully wrap your mind around why he chose you, and maybe this was why, because he could make a fool out of you, and by the time you realised it, it would all be too late. He had won you over with his charm, beautiful blue eyes, and handsome face, ignoring the warnings that you received, and it had all come back to bite you in the ass.You could feel the tears building in your eyes, prickling at the corners, but you were determined to keep them at bay. You wouldn’t let him see you cry, it would only prove your point. You glanced up to the stone ceiling, taking in a deep breath, fighting the way your bottom lip quivered.He had stepped closer now, and you swore you could hear his heart beating out of his chest, he was scared, so scared to lose you, and yet he was the one who messed up. He was the one that had ruined everything you guys had built together. All those countless nights together, wrapped up-tangled in the sheets, all the times you had spent telling him your secrets that you swore you’d tell no one, and all the ones that he had told you, finally being able to let down his guard, all of it, wasted over a single moment. He couldn’t be angrier with himself, but he didn’t know how to tell you that, to make you see that he was so unbelievably sorry for all the pain he had caused you. Part of him felt like there was no real reason to tell you he was sorry, he felt as if it would only be salt in the wound, and he was right, that's all it felt like to you.You couldn’t see how he could be so sorry, but yet he had still done it, you couldn’t fathom how that could outway the bad that he had done.“Y/n… please…I know-I…I” he didn’t know anymore what to say to make it okay, to fix it. He knew that deep down there was nothing he could do, not anymore. Nothing he said or did would fix his mistake, and now he would have to live with the consequences. Throwing himself at your feet, wrapping his strong arms around your waist, clinging to you afraid that when he let go, you’d be gone. He didn’t know what to do. “Y/n I love you…and I am so so sorry.” he tried.“No you don't! You don't love me, Theo, If you loved me you would have never! Could never! Thats not fucking love, that is nowhere near close!”Tears had breached his own eyes, staining the fabric of your skirt as he buried his head into you. A single tear broke from your eye, trailing down your heated cheek, cascading over your chapped lips. You could taste the salt, that conformation. You were frozen, unable to remove him from you. You didn’t want him to let go. Your breath had become uneven, chest heaving as your heart raced, ached. He loved you? That's what he had said, and yet.. Holding your breath you pushed him away, desperate to break free from him, but he wouldn’t break from you, his grip only tightened.“Theo, no..” you cried, “no you-you-Theo stop….please.” you squirmed in his grasp, panting as the tears broke from your eyes, trickling down your face. You clenched them still, hoping that it would stop them, but it only encourages them.“I can’t…I can’t let you go, y/n…I won’t…please..” he begged.He had finally left his pride at the door, here on his knees, begging you to forgive him, to overlook what he had done. The further he buried himself into your embrace, the harder it got to pull him away, to step away from him.“Theo, let go!” there was something so firm, demanding about your voice, it was so final. For a brief moment his grip loosened, just enough for you to break from him, pushing yourself up against the door, palms flat against the wood, and the other clutching your abdomen. You took a deep breath, the tears still flowing freely from you, as you fought to catch the escaping air. Your cheeks were rosy, heated with embarrassment, pain even, your eyes still clenched shut. You were afraid to look at him, to see how he was affected by the whole thing.He hadn’t moved, hadn’t stood up, he was paralysed to the spot. His eyes fixed on you, as his eyes became glossy. He was numb. He hadn’t realised it until just now, you were lost to him, gone mentally and physically from him. You weren’t his and he wasn’t yours. No, he was yours, he’d always be yours, he thought, he would never stop…being yours.The silence had become defining, holding you captive as you stayed glued to the door to his room. You couldn’t move, couldn’t bring yourself to pull the door open and leave. Leaving meant it was completely over, all of it. And the truth of the matter was, it was over the moment you had seen it, the moment you had opened this forsaken door that you were now using as your sole support system. All of it had come crumbling down right before your eyes in a manner of seconds. A year's worth of ‘love’ ripped from you in a fleeting instant. Now, now it was time to accept it, to let it go, let him go. He didn’t even deserve that much, he deserved none of this, none of your patience, your willingness to listen to him tell you his poor excuse, not even the tears that you shed in his company. None of it. You had to do it.You opened your eyes, the tears ceasing for what felt like a brave moment as you stared down at him. Your face is fixing into that numb state of emptiness. No emotion, no feeling whatsoever. Your jaw clenched, breathing steady, despite your heart clamouring out of your chest at the sight of him.“And here I thought….you started, brushing your tongue along the inside of your cheek as you contemplated whether or not you wanted to hurt him just as much as he had done to you. “You know, you’re not even worth my words, Theodore. And to think I thought you cared…fuck you..We’re done.” You kept your voice as level as you could, doing your best to stay strong, as you reached for the doorknob, wrenching it open, stopping the moment you heard him stand up. Your body stilled, waiting, listening, but he did nothing…said nothing, not until you had forced yourself to step out of the room, flinging the door shut behind you.“I’m sorry..” he mumbled, but you were already gone.