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“What is this smell?” If he hadn’t been feverish all over, Jinyoung would have frozen to the place where he stood by hearing that first comment; others followed to it, more voices had begun to overlap each other between the desks of the office, several heads began to turn in his direction while he desperately tried to reach the bathroom with as much discretion as possible. He had to avoid the most crowded corridors at all costs, even if that meant lengthening the route, but he couldn’t risk getting bogged down in a tangle of people who would understand. Not that he hadn’t already aroused solid suspicion in the few passersby he’d had the misfortune to meet, speeding past them with a polite bow without glancing directly – only making more apparent how desperate his haste was. Not to mention that Jinyoung was walking almost attached to the wall, looking for a stable support, sure his legs would give out if he didn’t stand with something solid at his side. His head had begun to spin, his sense of direction partly distorted by panic and something else, just as he was immersed in the gray of the walls. The fabric of the clothes was increasingly unbearable, the collar of the shirt perfectly closed up to the last buttonhole was suffocating and stinging against the skin of the neck which seemed to burn, almost allergic to delicate cotton. Again, if Jinyoung hadn’t been a self-controlled and rational person he would have been spiraling into panic for a long time, which was the moment he realized he didn’t have the suppressants on him, nor in his inside jacket pocket and neither anywhere in his bag. Which was strange, not to mention worryingly suspicious, because Jinyoung was obsessively careful with his heat spell: this was how he planned vacations, shifts, anything as long as no one in the office noticed, everyone convinced to the bone his second gender was that of an alpha – because it couldn’t be otherwise. The only gender associated with a person who aspired to a certain position, to whom no one would have dared to foist skepticism and cruelty if he had received a promotion or a compliment for the work done. There were other omegas in the office, Jinyoung certainly knew, many of them had been there for many more years and never, despite their excellent results and exemplary commitment, had they managed to get anything other than a job that seemed almost offered as a favor, settling for it. Few had managed to emerge, distinguishing themselves with an outsized effort; Jinyoung didn’t want that for himself. He didn’t want his efforts, his interest and his talent in his work to be questioned by a criterion that had nothing to do with why he was there, passing contests and nominations with his own effort alone. This is why he couldn’t let anyone find out, making sure that his own smell was always normal, just a little more pleasant to an alpha’s sense of smell but easily concealable with perfume or a particularly strong detergent; therefore it could not be that he had forgotten to bring the medicines with him. Even if the time of the heat didn’t seem to coincide with the day scheduled on the calendar, he knew he always had to consider the possibility that something might change, a day or two late or early, so he made sure he was ready even if he was outside. Especially at work. That day, however, two terrible incidents had coincided and now he found himself there, trudging along the wall of a corridor that seemed to never end, turning the corner several times with shortness of breath and his back and forehead now covered with sweat. He almost cried when, finally, the door with the men’s room symbol on it appeared in front of his eyes, speeding up the pace as much as he could to reach it in a few last strides. The only problem was what kind of bathroom it was: in the last ten years, by law, every company or public place was required to have a bathroom according to gender, not only in terms of sexual identity but also inherent to the second gender, whether alpha, beta or omega. Jinyoung’s goal was precisely that of the betas, where BamBam – the only colleague who knew of his true gender – had confirmed that he was waiting for him after he had sent him a quick and urgent message, writing him to ask one of the omegas of his department if they had any suppressants and bring them to him. He hadn’t taken into account how much the heat was confusing him, for all he knew he might have reached the right bathroom but passed because he hadn’t noticed. He chewed a curse between his teeth as he tried to take another step when his knees wobbled at the mere attempt and resigned himself, deciding that he would send BamBam another message once he was hidden and locked away in one of the bathrooms. So he pushed the door in front of him almost angrily, but contrary to Jinyoung’s expectations for the force he put into it, it was blocked by something, impacting against it. Jinyoung, again, felt cold to the bone as a pained noise came from the other side, right from inside the bathroom. Suddenly a wave of panic mixed with something else came over him, his eyes looking up and down the corridor planning an escape that his body was unable to handle, not at that point. The door started to open again from the inside after a couple of seconds, under the horrified gaze of the omega, slowly revealing the figure of a man busy on rubbing his forehead. “What the hell…?” he muttered, staring at his hand to check if he was bleeding or not, then he began to speak in an indignant and pained voice “What the heck, man, no matter how much of a hurry you are in, you can’t open the door as if you want to kill som…” The voice faded away and, as if struck by a thunderbolt, the man jerked his head up to look at the newcomer: lips slightly parted in astonishment and eyes getting wider and wider as the realization made its way into the alpha, who looked at him from head to toe, blinking as if he didn’t believe what was in front of him. Jinyoung found himself swallowing loudly without really wanting to when the man’s perfume ran up to his nostrils, inebriating them with a both pungent and delicate smell, like tea and burning paper; his heart began to pump furiously, so hard that Jinyoung felt tears begin to form under the surge of indescribable emotion, tossed between fear of being caught all of a sudden and something more difficult to express and rationalize – the restlessness of the soul overwhelmed by a pleasantly enveloping sensation. And perhaps, for this reason, more dangerous: the instinct told him to flee, to force his legs to run away from there despite the fact that he felt them like jelly and was aware he would not be able to go far, not if an alpha addicted to the smell of an omega in heat had chased after him. Yet that part of him, mellifluous as honey, suggested that he let himself go, move towards the man who had such a gentle yet strong smell, as if he wanted to cover and protect him. 
Claim him.
 A moan came from the omega’s throat without him being able to stop it and for the first time they looked into each other’s eyes, both of them wide open and shocked. Once again the heat pushed that sweet and almost comforting thought into Jinyoung’s mind, because there was something too good about those irises so warm and dark, in the way the stranger’s perfect cheekbones were gradually turning red under the attention he was paying him, and when Jinyoung’s eyes wandered to the man’s lips he bit his own reflexively. It was then that he saw something snap in the other’s eyes and the lucid fear returned to Jinyoung, who started backing away when the alpha’s hand reached out to him, anchoring on his arm and dragging him inside one of the bathrooms. “W-what are you doing?” he tried to say in the most intimidating tone he could, hating how instead his voice came out liquid, needy “Let me go now or I’ll start screaming!” He continued to fidget, a principle of nausea had begun to confuse his perception, feeling increasingly exhausted and at the same time intoxicated by the presence of his possible attacker, who also grabbed his other arm when he managed to hit him. At that point Jinyoung really wanted to scream, even if they found out the truth and fired him or whatever, but paradoxically he ceased any movement and almost stopped breathing when he heard the main bathroom door being opened again and two unfamiliar voices start talking to each other animatedly. The alpha looked behind him, as if he could see through the door, then turned and fixed his gaze on Jinyoung’s. “Listen to me,” he began, moving closer to speak softly but still be audible to him; the only thing separating them was his hand on Jinyoung’s face “I don’t want to hurt you. I have no intention of it. But you…” he pursed his lips and rolled his eyes, muttering something “You’re in heat, and you came to the alpha’s bathroom. I couldn’t leave you out there with those two. You understand it?” The omega nodded hastily, his chest heaving up and down with agitation but he could distinguish the sincerity in the man’s words and felt his muscles begin to relax a little, though he didn’t quite lower his caution and still felt choked. The other nodded back “I’ll let you go when they’re out, I promise. And I’ll help you to-” “Jackson?” came the question from outside, with obvious perplexity “Is that you?” Jinyoung heard the man in front of him – to whom he could now associate a name – say something between his teeth in a language he couldn’t recognize, but judging by his expression and the way Jinyoung felt him stiffen he could deduce its extent. Then he saw the alpha pull back, lifting his chin and speaking loudly for the new interlocutor to hear, the words tinged with fake enthusiasm “Oh, Cheney! Well, yes, I too sometimes answer when nature calls.” The man on the other side laughed slightly but didn’t reply, the only thing that came was the sound of the tap water starting to flow, followed by the buzz of a conversation that he was having with the other colleague. At least on the surface there didn’t seem to be any continuation of that chatter, so they just had to wait for them to finish, make sure they were gone and then sneak out in search of BamBam – to whom Jinyoung hadn’t written yet because he hadn’t had the chance, but at that point he wasn’t even sure he would have succeeded, his senses increasingly clouded and the closeness with the other man was starting to become a problem in spite of himself.As if hearing his thoughts, Jackson whirled on him and once again seemed to be suffering from the same anguish as the omega. Jinyoung watched his Adam’s apple rise and fall, his lips pursing into a thin line before opening again, trying to speak. “Your-” “Hey, Jackson. Are you perhaps eating something sweet in there?” It was the other alpha who spoke. Jackson straightened his back against the door, although the position they were in – Jinyoung almost sitting on the toilet and Jackson standing, leaning over to keep one hand still on his mouth and the other gripping his wrist – permitted such a movement; Jinyoung saw agitation in the dark irises, their attention drawn behind him as he responded cautiously, trying to sound as natural as possible. “Is this an attempt at a defecation joke?” Another chuckle, however his colleague’s tone seemed forced this time, as if he were in trouble “I wish I had your sense of humor, but I’m serious” and the voice lowered “I smell a… great scent coming from in there.” Jinyoung’s eyes raced to Jackson’s face, the anxiety of being discovered had fully intertwined with the uncomfortable hot feeling in his stomach and this, yet again beyond his control, did nothing but increase the intensity of its omega smell. He understood it from how Jackson himself gave him a pained expression. Just then Jinyoung wondered how the other was managing to hold back, so close to an omega in heat, however the thought died when he saw Jackson’s lips mimic a trust me and his hands began to free him, albeit only apparently: with no small effort, given the narrow space, Jackson began to take off his jacket and slowly, never taking his eyes off Jinyoung’s, put it on his shoulders. Jackson then began to lean towards him, letting one arm slide along his sides and bringing his other hand behind the omega’s nape. Though he held him gently, the grip was iron, protective. Jinyoung found himself holding his breath, caught off guard, if possible his face already heated by his condition became even more incandescent when the other pushed him against his chest, pressing his ear right where Jackson’s heart was beating rapidly. “You got me” the alpha said loudly, cackling – the sound rumbled in Jinyoung’s eardrum, making him close his eyelids automatically “My mom sent me a cake and I couldn’t wait until I was home to eat it, so I brought some with me!” As Jackson spoke, Jinyoung felt the urge to bite his lip bloody, plant his teeth there to keep his mouth shut because he clearly felt the desire to let go, to indulge the pressure against his back and merge with the solid body of the other, being dominated by that familiar scent despite the fact that he was sure he had never seen the man in front of him before that moment. He allowed his hands to wander upward, now free, clenching his fingers on Jackson’s shirt at the hips, resulting in it creasing and pulling it a little out of his pants. Jackson jumped slightly, whether from the unexpected gesture or the friction of the garment and Jinyoung against himself the omega couldn’t tell. He only knew that it had been a few seconds since he’d started to feel the other’s scent getting stronger as well, which was good because it helped hide Jinyoung’s – and that was probably the reason why he suddenly hugged him, covering him with his own jacket – but, on the other hand, it only made the heat more unbearable, the omega instinct more in control of his actions. “Hey” Jackson whispered from above, nervousness evident in each letter “You gotta hold still. You’re no help to me if you do that.” And what that is? Jinyoung wanted to ask him and started to raise his face, looking for his gaze, but his attention was caught by a drop of sweat that ran alone and fast along Jackson’s throat, bending against the Adam’s apple which rose and fell again in uneasiness. Jinyoung wondered how Jackson would have reacted if he had leaned over, placing his lips on that spot to test its texture and catching the salty taste with his tongue. The mind clouded by desire fueled the dangerously illogical actions of the omega, who moved on the toilet just enough to protrude his pelvis, meeting Jackson’s thighs placed between Jinyoung’s spread legs. The air became almost unbreathable, the man’s scent seemed to want to devour him, as well as Jackson himself, who had begun to hold him more tightly as he continued to say something to the other alphas outside his door – something about not wanting to share his dessert and that he’d get out of there when he was done, asking them not to tell anyone about this little secret and putting as a joke that he would be scolded otherwise. An answer that seemed enough for the other two: Jinyoung heard the bathroom door close after a few seconds and the outside become silent. However, it wasn’t a detail he was really paying particular attention to since there was something else pressing against him. Just where Jackson’s smell seemed to get stronger and in its own way sweet; inviting. 
Before he could do anything, one hand already reaching for the alpha’s belt, Jinyoung felt himself lifted from under his armpits, level with Jackson’s almost congested face, sweat beaded on his forehead and his breathing rapid as if had just run a marathon.
 “You…” he began, pointing a finger at him, the sentence coming out hoarsely “You’re a fucking piece of work, you know? You’re not yourself and I understand that but you can’t grope me when I’m trying to-” “Jackson” Jinyoung moaned, saying that name for the first time and it felt like an achievement, to be able to appropriate such a sound, say it aloud and feel every inch of its owner’s body stretch like a rope ready to break – or to break him, Jinyoung thought to himself, fueling the languor nestled in his stomach at the thought.  
The omega’s eyes were restless, probing the man’s face from side to side, lingering on his lips and the now terribly dark gaze, which seemed to chase Jinyoung back as his head moved with small, feverish movements, as if he wanted to do something but couldn’t make up his mind. He only knew how much everything seemed to be on fire, the burnt edge in Jackson’s smell predominating over the rest, absorbing the unaware sweetness of Jinyoung’s, exactly as in the way he had protected him from being discovered by the other two just before.
 
Again Jackson’s hands were on his wrists, pulling them away and pushing them against Jinyoung’s own chest. Finally, the alpha spoke “Now let’s get out of here. Okay? First let me check that no one is there, then I will walk you to the omega’s room and call someone to come and help you. All right?”
 
Addicted to the other’s tone of voice, Jinyoung nodded at first, feeling every fiber of his being sway to the rhythm of those words so smooth and gentle that, if he could, the omega in him would purr in response. However, his brain registered the meaning of what he said faster than he would have thought he was capable of in those conditions; he acted on impulse, pushing Jackson against the bathroom door which closed under the impact.
 
This time the annoyance was evident in the alpha’s expression, who gave him a sharp and resentful look “May I know how many fucking times are you going to slam me against a door?!”
 
Jinyoung ignored the comment and shook his head quickly, raising his hands as if to grasp something, unable to keep them still due to anxiety, then he stammered “Non- not the omega’s room.”
 “Ah?” “Not the omega’s room” he repeated, his lips pursed in frustration and his eyelids drooping due to the pain he had begun to feel in his head, not to mention he was sure that at that rate he would soon pass out, too dazed and almost sick to stand still. Noticing Jackson’s quizzical and somewhat irritated expression, he added “You have to take me to the beta’s room.” 
The alpha looked at him as if he had said the stupidest thing in the world – he couldn’t blame him, in a recess of his conscience Jinyoung knew he was behaving in a way that was far from easy to handle and that he sounded nearly childish, failing to express himself otherwise, but he was unable to articulate his motivation properly. And, on the other hand, even though Jackson had undeniably helped him in a completely unexpected way, far beyond what Jinyoung could have ever imagined an alpha would behave in a similar situation, he still didn’t have to give him certain information. To tell him he didn’t want anyone to know he was an omega, that Jinyoung couldn’t be seen or heard around there. Now that he thought about it, he had to make sure Jackson wouldn’t tell anyone, because protecting him from two alphas in a bathroom while he was in heat didn’t imply he wouldn’t mock or expose him to others later.
 
He took a deep breath, sitting down on the toilet again because he felt his legs were threatening to give out and Jinyoung didn’t want to fall on Jackson, whom seemed to have reached his limit –

in every sense, judging by how he was panting; Jinyoung wanted to lift his head, look into his eyes as he spoke, but a growing feeling of unease was starting to creep into his consciousness, shame at having found himself in such a situation and a deep mortification about…everything. Then he kept his gaze down, pinning it on Jackson’s polished shoes.
 “I texted a friend of mine before I… ended up here” he began to explain, speaking slowly “I told him to meet me at the beta’s room and bring some suppressants”. He paused, at first waiting for a reply, but when one didn’t come he felt the need to add, swallowing his pride “I can’t go to the omega’s room. Please.” He could feel the perplexed, perhaps a little tinged with disapproval look fixed on the back of his neck. Jinyoung wanted to look at him, really. For some reason, some part of him felt that everything would have been easier if he had looked the man into his eyes. It was probably just the heat and how damn good Jackson smelled; how still having his jacket on was somehow messing with his head at an exasperating slowness, along with the uncomfortable sensation of something wet and sticky between his legs. He didn’t even know if he’d actually be able to get up and get out of there at that point. Maybe he could ask Jackson to go to BamBam and come back with suppressors, but what if someone else came in? Just the thought of being alone in the alpha’s room in that state terrified him. At the same time, the treacherous nature of omega continued to subtly murmur to him to approach the other man, to anchor himself to Jackson in that narrow bathroom, to let himself sway in that sense of security that seemed to be innate with him; letting Jackson take him – even if he had no idea who he was, even if he had found out his name by accident and even if Jinyoung hadn’t even told him his.  
The silence had begun to become daunting and oppressive, when the omega felt himself lifted by the other for the second time, then Jinyoung raised his head in surprise; melting to see the chocolate irises giving him such an affable look, veiled by an understanding that Jinyoung couldn’t explain. He felt something soften in the center of his chest, the tension relaxed and it was like being blown by the wind after having lost a considerable amount of weight.
 
The alpha grabbed his wrist and pulled it gently, inviting Jinyoung to put his arm around Jackson’s shoulders.
 “I’ll carry you, if someone sees us I’ll pretend you felt sick” the man explained, opening the bathroom door only to stop right after and stare at the other. Jinyoung gave him a questioning look, then cursed his heart for running so fast when he saw the grin blossom on Jackson’s face “And this time, please, don’t try to break me anything else against the door.” 
Jinyoung blinked quickly, eyes wide at the unexpected comment and, despite himself, despite all the discomfort he felt, he burst out laughing. He calmed down when he felt Jackson’s arm slide again around his back, squeezing him against to his side. Unfortunately, Jinyoung couldn’t see the smile that the other gave him as the uneasiness of his condition came back to stress him with the first step they took, feeling the stickiness between his legs begin to slide against his thighs.
 
Jackson noticed the stiffening of the omega and gave him an apprehensive expression “You got that?”. The other pursed his lips and nodded hastily, unconsciously squeezing the fabric of Jackson’s shirt in a fist, where he was holding onto him so as not to fall. He tried to keep his head against the man’s neck, but he couldn’t help breathing deeply that closeness: a gesture that backfired, because his juices worsened and his erection throbbed painfully against his pants’ tightness, so that Jinyoung let out a high-pitched moan and had to stop and so did Jackson, right in the middle of the room.
 
A few moments of silence followed. Jackson had looked in terror in the direction of the front door, so close yet bloody far and he wondered if, at that rate, they would really be able to get out of there. He also doubted that the friend the omega had told him about was still in the beta’s room, given how much time they had lost in there, and he definitely had to go back to work. So it made sense for him to bring Jinyoung there? Jackson looked at the man at his side, his expression clearly contrite and weary, his cheeks completely flushed and his raven hair falling over his forehead now wet – a few strands moved from time to time by his agitated breathing.
 “Listen…” he spoke with carefulness “Maybe it’s better if we go back in there. If you close the door no one will be able to enter, just tell me his name and I’ll run to look for this friend of yours.” Or anyone else who can be really reachable and helpful. 
Jinyoung looked at Jackson as if he had told him that he would leave him there, at the mercy of anyone, and the desperation with which he grabbed his neck with both arms almost threw Jackson off balance against Jinyoung himself. In fact, the alpha managed with difficulty to keep himself straight, holding him with both arms around his torso. So they were much closer now, Jinyoung’s chest rising and falling quickly and pressing against Jackson’s, also agitated but less than the omega.
 
However, the situation was escalating for him too, since Jinyoung had buried his face in the hollow of the other’s neck – not on purpose, Jinyoung had unconsciously found himself anchoring to the alpha as much as possible, any thought surmounted by concern – and he felt his warm breath against a spot far too sensitive for Jackson’s liking. Not to mention that the omega visibly trembled against him, emitting pheromones as if he wanted to flood him and Jackson’s alpha instinct appreciated the extent of that thought too much.
 “God,” he murmured, more like a low growl as he tickled Jinyoung’s throat with his face, moving it along its length; Jinyoung shivered harder and Jackson tightened his grip on him “You smell amazing.” 
The compliment hit Jinyoung’s heart like a jab, both painful and pleasant.
 
They both knew they shouldn’t loosen up; Jinyoung was more than aware that if he gave in at that moment, in that context and after what happened, he would never forgive himself. Neither for giving in, nor for involving someone else. He hoped that the shame he had begun to feel earlier would free him from the stinging desire that was consuming him from within, but the closeness with Jackson was intoxicating: repressing the need to move his hips against the alpha’s to find some kind of relief was getting harder and harder and the sensation of his erection pressing against Jinyoung’s wasn’t helping. Plus the way Jackson was swaying them, perhaps trying to soothe him or both of them, gave a sense of intimacy that only pulled Jinyoung closer to him, wanting to intensify whatever contact they were having. Not to mention the iron grip on his hips, as if something suddenly clicked in the alpha, so like a possessiveness that could not belong to him, that only intensified everything.
 
It was just the instict, the warmth in which Jinyoung was dragging them and he didn’t even want to imagine how guilty he would feel once he regained full lucidity.
 
But now he just wanted that man.
 “Hey…” the alpha said after what seemed a long silence, his voice low and hesitant, as if he didn’t trust it “What’s your name?” 
The omega gulped, he too unsure of how the words would come out, then he mumbled “Jinyoung.”
 “Jinyoung” Jackson repeated, testing each letter of that name, liking its sweet, musical sound – and he liked the shaking he received in response. A little too much. “There is… there is something vibrating in your pants.” 
The other reluctancly moved away as much as possible from the comfortable niche he had found, because

he had

to look at him badly.
 
Jackson snorted a laugh and squinted up “I don’t mean in that sense, literally there is something vibrating in your pocket. I think it’s your phone.”
 
It took Jinyoung a moment to catch it – his ears busy with that giggle that was

too cute

– but once he fully understood what the other had said he somehow managed to quickly extricate one of his arm from the alpha’s shoulders, running to his pocket and grab his smartphone. When he unlocked it, a sincere sigh of relief escaped his lips as he saw several messages and missed calls from BamBam, asking where he was, if he was all right and, most recently, that he would call the police if Jinyoung didn’t answer within two minutes.
 “He’s a very pragmatic guy” Jackson asserted, he too looking at the screen “Call him, if you can’t talk I’ll answer.” 
The omega alternated his gaze from the phone to the man, then nodded, hastily looking for his friend’s number and initiating the call, then he let Jackson take the phone from his hand and returned to his previous position, relaxing when the scent of alpha fully occupied his senses again: it still was a dangerous stimulation, but at the same time he managed to calm the growing suffering in Jinyoung, who seemed to have found a strange balance. At least, that was if he didn’t move too much from the lower abdomen down. He still felt the urge to whine and rub against the other man but the fact that they were about to call Kunpimook somehow acted as a deterrent – just enough for him to stand as still as possible.
 
Jackson put the speakerphone on as he initiated the call, answered after barely two rings.
 “Park Jinyoung!” croaked the voice on the other end of the phone, so loud and unexpectedly shrill that Jackson grimaced and pull the phone as far away from both of them, as if that was really enough to drown out the source of that racket “What the heck has got into your head?! Sending me a message like that, saying to meet me in the bathroom – in the bathroom! - and only now even deign to answer me?! Where are you?! Are you okay?! Did something happen to you?! What are you-” “Um,” Jackson cleared his throat loudly, making Jinyoung chuckle despite feeling overcome with sickness “I humbly apologize for butting in on this inquisitive barrage of yours, but-”  “Who the fuck are you?”  
Jackson pulled his neck back and stared at the phone as if the object itself had slapped him “Okay, I understand your point of view. If you’d just let me talk-”
 “Jinyoung-hyung! Jinyoung-hyung are you there?! You bastard, what did you do to-”  “Would you mind shutting up?!”  “BamBamie” answered the omega, visibly exasperated by their screams; Jackson looked at him, hearing how tired his voice was, and apologized for fueling the chaos with a sorry expression, even though it really wasn’t anyone’s fault – if not Jinyoung’s, his mind suggested “I’m… fine, I’m in the alpha’s room. I would need-” “In the alpha’s room?! Hyung, are you crazy? And who’s the guy with you?”  
Jinyoung took a deep breath, pressing his forehead against Jackson’s shoulder “I’ll tell you later, are you still in the beta’s room?”
 “No, I went out, someone came in and left a smell that…” BamBam stopped, then resumed speaking in a louder voice, as if he had an epiphany “I can come there, hyung. I have suppressants with me!”  
The omega grimaced, unconvinced “And if someone sees you?”
 “And what can they do, tell me I took the wrong bathroom? Clearly I’m not an alpha but they are very wrong if they think they can intimidate me in front of a toilet” he said with conviction; the almost defiant tone made the older one smile, especially when he glimpsed Jackson’s admiring and amused expression from below.  
They heard the sound of footsteps coming from the telephone speaker and realized that BamBam had started to walk. So Jinyoung was about to pick up his phone, say hello and hang up, when the youngest’s voice returned, this time uncertain and worried “

However, hyung... are you sure it’s good to stay there?”
 
Jinyoung parted his lips, then pursed them. He looked up and, when he met the profile of Jackson’s face, noticing the clenched jaw and the beads of sweat beading his skin, Jinyoung wondered for a moment how much longer the alpha would last. Jackson seemed to feel that look upon him though, as he turned as well, probing Jinyoung’s eyes with his own; he began to rub the hand he anchored on Jinyoung’s hip before, smiling at him in a strained yet genuinely reassuring way. Then Jinyoung felt the nerves ease and the doubt dissipate slowly but without further delay, the mind dulled by the heat was not enough to brush away the gestures of the man next to him, how he had protected the omega so far and how he had offered to continue to do so; how, even with Jinyoung so close and overwhelmed by his desire, he had managed to keep control and not hurt him. Exactly as he had promised.
 
(And, how Jinyoung was still wearing his jacket.)
 
When BamBam called out his name again, a little worried by the lack of response, Jinyoung answered confidently, his voice calm – maybe a little dreamy – despite his inner turmoil, not looking away from Jackson’s eyes “Yes, I’m safe here.”
 He saw Jackson’s irises become more visible as the other’s eyes widened and Jinyoung almost gloated to himself for causing that amazement in the man, however he found himself realizing how, again, incredibly intimate that moment seemed. He blinked quickly and broke contact with the alpha, for some reason feeling awkward under it; Jackson, on the other hand, kept looking at him but it didn’t take long for him to turn to the phone too, attracted by an incomprehensible murmur.  “Okay, I’m on my way.” “Thank you, ‘Bamie.”  “Ah, don’t mention it” the younger replied while walking briskly, judging by the rhythm of the heels on the floor that they could hear “You will repay me with an invitation at your parents’ house to dinner when your mother makes kimchi.” 
Jinyoung smiled, then the call ended. He and Jackson stood there, still swaying slightly, when the alpha spoke again, clearing his throat “I think you’d better go back to the bathroom. I’ll stay outside to see if anyone’s coming.”
 
The omega had to forcefully repress the impulse to ask him why he wouldn’t go in with him, well aware that it was probably wiser to proceed that way. After all, neither of them could really know how much they could contain themselves, especially Jackson; Jinyoung felt terribly attracted to him, drawn by Jackson’s smell that seemed to have intertwined with his, drowning out everything else. The desire to merge and be marked by that fragrance was still vivid in his soul and Jinyoung was sure he was emitting enough pheromones for the other to be aware of it as well. So, reluctantly, Jinyoung nodded and so did Jackson, as if they had finally made an agreement. It was better not to risk.
 
Without adding anything else, Jackson helped the omega to return to his previous position, offering him an encouraging expression when he noticed the veil of apprehension in his “I will stay here, I promise.”
 
Jinyoung swallowed, his chest cruelly softened by those words, finally nodded again and closed the door.
 
Jackson kept his word: all the while waiting for BamBam, the alpha talked as much as possible, about nothing in particular really, but it was engaging enough because Jinyoung managed to distract himself from the increasingly oppressive agony he was sinking into, allowing him to indulge in that sort of stimulation. Though Jackson’s voice was soothing, it sounded incredibly charming to Jinyoung’s ears, the warmth tickling his imagination – he imagined what it would be like if Jackson spoke close to his ear, softly, hoarse and hot as his hands he had held on Jinyoung to keep him steady. He thought of them on his bare hips, still guiding him but in a very different, more primal rhythm; how the omega wished he could call his name again without stopping. So Jinyoung found himself leaning his head against the bathroom wall, panting more and more heavily, not really realizing the movement of his fingers, directed towards his belt.
 
He was tired of holding back, of that horrible feeling between his legs, wet and sticky,

empty. He looked straight ahead, at the door, beyond which he knew Jackson was – whom had stopped talking, he registered belatedly. Jinyoung could smell him through the surface between them; if only he hadn’t had his ears occupied by his own, he would have heard Jackson’s ragged breath as well.
 
Jinyoung wanted to see him. He wanted to see in what state his scent – which Jackson had called

amazing

before – was reducing him and how, if he gave him the chance, the alpha would reduce Jinyoung himself. If Jackson would fill him to the very core of him, bathing his name in lasciviousness as he moved in him, claiming every part of the omega as his own.
 
Jinyoung’s fingers stopped on his still clothed erection, pushing towards his palm and moaning languidly, loudly.
 “Jinyoung,” Jackson called out to him, dryly and gutturally, almost in warning “whatever you’re doing, you have to stop.” 
He knew he was right, that complying with what his body was suggesting to him wasn’t the best choice, instead the omega would soon find himself in a real bubble of suffering, eager to join an alpha, if he didn’t stop. He had to wait for BamBam and with him the suppressants, then calm down and go home for a couple of days, there was nothing else he could or should do. Jinyoung knew this, but he was no longer lucid enough to fully assimilate the logic of that concept. The only thing he managed to focus on, as if he had really realized it only in that moment, was the presence outside that small protective space, divided just by a locked door. And it was there that Jinyoung’s attention fell, on the red check of the sign indicating the bathroom was occupied. It would have been enough to push it a little to open it, stretch out the arm and click the button.
 
Let Jackson in.
 
A thud against the door made him jump.
 “Jinyoung,” the alpha repeated, fatigue evident in his voice “Don’t open the door.” 
And Jinyoung understood, ecstatic although aware it was the wrong state of mind to receive that information: Jackson had reached his limit, or was very close to it. The way he had addressed him, concise and peremptory, hadn’t managed to completely disguise that aftertaste that Jinyoung had been able to perceive on the tip of his tongue, how

ravenous

the other was starting to become. The smell itself had intensified, so strong that Jinyoung would have wondered if something was really catching fire if only he hadn’t been so engrossed, drowning in the viscous pleasure he felt soaking through his clothes, clinging to hot, tense flesh; thinking how easy it would be for Jackson to move inside him now, slipping and taking every inch Jinyoung would give him.
 
Struggling and without a shred of inhibition left, Jinyoung moved as best he could on the toilet, reaching for the lock, as if in a trance. The alpha had completely stopped talking, hadn’t given him even a further warning: if it hadn’t been for the now intoxicating scent, a sign that the man was still there, he would have thought he was gone.
 
Trembling fingers gripped the handle, forefinger poised to snap the mechanism.
 
In a whimper, Jinyoung said “Jacks-”
 “Jinyoung-hyung!”  
The omega jumped back, startled by the sudden scream and the sound of the main bathroom door slamming against the wall. He felt something coming from the other side, the pressure against the wood that separated him from the outside vanishing – he barely caught a hissed curse, Jackson saying “Holy shit,

fucking finally” followed by quick footsteps away.
 
The air had become less heavy, although there was a considerable trace of burning and something else in the background. Jinyoung wasn’t able to connect the pieces, again taken aback when a soft but impatient knock attracted him.
 “Jinyoung-hyung, I’m BamBam. I brought suppressants” explained the colleague, when the omega heard him cough and his voice came muffled, as if he were speaking with his hand in front of his mouth “Oh my gosh, what have you done in here?” 
Jinyoung didn’t have the strength to answer, still sitting and smeared, with shining eyes full of tears he could barely define the contours of BamBam’s figure when he entered his hiding place. He distractedly hear himself complaining as soon as the younger one tried to lift him up, as if he wasn’t the one making those sounds; his eyes looking for who had been with him up to that moment.
 
BamBam intercepted the feverish movements of the omega’s irises as he hurriedly handed him a pill and a new bottle of water from the vending machine “If you’re looking for the guy who was outside, he ran away as soon as I arrived” he said, glancing at the door behind him to underline the concept. Then he looked back at the other “You must have given him a good half hour, eh, hyung?” this time the tone lightened, almost mischievous; Jinyoung wasn’t in a position to do anything to him anyway, not even the glare he gave him as he was about to swallow the suppressant had any effect on the younger one “Even though I feared for my life for a second. When I entered he seemed ready to jump on my neck, but as soon as I called you he calmed down and ran away as if there was a fire and he was the last firefighter on the face of the Earth.”
 
The omega just closed his eyes, dropping his head against the wall, his breathing still agitated but he began to feel the effect of the heat slowly wane, or perhaps it was just a sort of placebo effect at the awareness of having taken the suppressants. In any case he couldn’t stay there, he was also concerned about the permeation of his scent in the air considering how many pheromones he had released in the last few minutes – enough to induce Jackson to flee. Jinyoung wanted to slap himself on the forehead at the very thought, slowly the memory of his behavior and the way he tried to seduce the alpha started pounding in his temples. Not that he had much of a choice in that state, but Jinyoung couldn’t help but blame himself.
 
He hadn’t even managed to thank him for all the help he’d given him when he didn’t have to. They didn’t even know each other and by hiding an omega in the alphas’ bathroom he had in turn risked being fired on the spot if they were discovered; circumstance too equivocal, perhaps Jackson would have even suffered a worse measure than him. Yet he had remained. Instead of telling him to close himself up somewhere or betraying his request and seeking help, he had listened and stayed to watch over him, even though Jinyoung’s heat must have tormented Jackson for who knows how long.
 “I know what that stubborn head of yours is thinking” BamBam’s voice broke into his inner monologue, grabbing him by the arm while helping him to stand up “You are not to blame for what happened and you would think so too if someone else were in your place.” 
Jinyoung shook his head, as much as he could given the pangs, almost grunted in response “If I hadn’t forgotten the suppressants…” the omega accused himself – though, to be honest, he remembered bringing them along, if not in his jacket at least in the bag. But perhaps the heat had begun to manifest itself treacherously and even that memory was confused. He could not help but remain in doubt, as much as he hated feeling that way.
 
BamBam pinched him merciless and raised a finger in front of the older’s face when Jinyoung admonished him with a look after hissing in pain “No

ifs. Besides, suppressants may not even work if the dosage is inadequate – don’t make that face! Even a control freak like you can make mistakes, the fact remains that you can’t whip your brain for such a thing. We’re just thankful that everything turned out well.”

Because I found Jackson

the omega thought but didn’t say it, rather he preferred to use his energies in moving one step after another, letting himself be guided by his friend. The latter still seemed to intercept that thought anyway, because again Jinyoung heard him grinning, every word was imbued with an amusement that he would make him regret when resumed “Anyway, your protector was quite a

godsend, a miracle for the eyes, even if it smelled worse than a clogged smokestack. But on the other hand, I know you have a taste all your own in certain types.”
 
Jinyoung suddenly felt hot. As if having to walk with his own juices everywhere down his legs wasn’t already torture enough, he also had to feel his dongsaeng prod him on that exposed nerve: of course he had noticed how good-looking Jackson was, he even found the adjective reductive. Just remembering the alpha’s overwhelming scent, Jinyoung thought it fit the person associated with it just right. Besides, he wondered how BamBam hadn’t noticed the delicate note in the middle, like a warm brew of tea leaves, which was probably what kept Jinyoung from losing his mind altogether, maintaining an awkward balance between stimulation the heat and quieting it in someway. Only for that he had managed to last so long, especially in the presence of an alpha so…
 “Earth calls Jinyoung-hyung. Are you fantasizing about your savior?” 
This time nothing saved Kunpimook from the kick that the older one managed to land behind his knee, making him unbalance and squeak.
 “Hyung! If I fall, you fall too!” “‘Bamie,” he pleaded, exhausted and visibly tired “Please. Thank you very much for your help and for being here, you know I can’t describe how much I appreciate it. But I beg you. Don’t say another word.” 
He saw the boy open his mouth, ready to reply, but he had to decide to spare the omega because stopped making any comment about it, just muttering playfully from time to time how much the other weighed and perhaps BamBam should have taken it as a divine sign to go back to the gym. Jinyoung was grateful for the change of course and tried to focus on it, even when he found himself in the beta’s room – where BamBam had hidden a bag with a change of clothes for him, a damp cloth and a towel to allow him to clean up as best as possible.
 
Kunpimook stood outside his bathroom, waiting for him and making sure no one came, then he would drive Jinyoung home.
 
The omega stuffed the dirty clothes into the bag, realizing only then that he was still wearing Jackson’s jacket. He again felt guilty, not to mention ashamed, and he knew the right thing to do would be to seek out the alpha – sending BamBam in his stead – and return it to him. However, when he was about to take it off, Jinyoung felt a sense of unease slowly resurface; he found his fingers gripping the rich fabric and, before he knew it, Jinyoung was wearing it again. BamBam gave him a questioning look when he came out of the bathroom but didn’t say anything, even though the smell on it was unmistakably the same as the man who had run past him earlier.
 
Somehow they managed to get out of the building without great difficulty – some colleagues cast suspicious looks when it was BamBam who informed Jinyoung’s department head of the latter’s sudden illness. No one had opposed or intervened, if nothing else, though the beta had not failed to notice how much the older aroused interest, perhaps precisely because it was completely unusual for Jinyoung to find himself the protagonist of an unexpected event. In any case, the two managed to slip away as painlessly as possible.
 
In the drive back, tired and without energy, Jinyoung felt the sense of defeat making room in his mind, his body heavy and still warm despite the suppressants only reminding him of the unpleasant – and risky – circumstance in which he found himself. Not that it had ever happened to him, not even when he was younger and the heat hadn’t settled in yet, coming on suddenly or missing for weeks, and maybe that was why there was something very bitter about it that he could not remove from his palate.
 
He would have thought about it at another time, now Jinyoung just felt the need to rest. Closing his eyes, letting himself be lulled by the movement of the car, he allowed himself to be anchored to the only sweet note of that afternoon; the promise to find and thank Jackson floating in the spiral of dreams.
 
(And give him back the jacket that was soothing his pain.)

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It had been two weeks since the incident that BamBam had decided to rename as Nature calls; Jinyoung had glared at him countless times over the past few days, as his friend decreed it was extremely funny to goad him about what had happened – especially about how unable the omega was at returning the jacket that his gorgeous savior had lent him. Now, unable was an exaggeration, there was nothing stopping Jinyoung from finding that man again. I mean, how many people, in his same floor, could be named Jackson and also be an alpha? Plus he was pretty sure he was a foreigner: he couldn’t figure out which one, but he remembered hearing him say something in a language that was definitely not Korean, nor a possible dialect. Everything would have been easier if he’d been able to read the full name on his ID badge, but Jinyoung hadn’t exactly been in the best shape to pay attention to detail. At least, not to those. The problem, however, was another. An issue that Jinyoung, after fourteen days, was now letting swirl in his head as he stared at the bag containing the borrowed garment with his arms crossed and a serious frown, as if he were scolding it for still being there: he was ashamed. Not just about what happened at work the day the heat got out of hand, which already held a record of embarrassment by Jinyoung’s standards, and he was quite clumsy and not so good at not pointing it out like he wanted to believe. Jinyoung was ashamed of what happened later, back home, when BamBam accompanied him to his apartment, recommending that he’d go to bed and take the weekend off to fully recover. Also, before leaving, the younger one had offered to take the alpha’s jacket and personally return it to him the next day, assuring the older one that he would wash it thoroughly before handing it to him. Removing all traces of his smell; both Jackson and Jinyoung. The omega had reacted instinctively when he had noticed Kunpimook’s hand already extended towards him, bringing his own to close on the fabric that covered his shoulders; even though he’d changed in the beta’s bathroom, Jinyoung had quickly put on that jacket that wasn’t his, regardless of how dangerous it could have been – because the alpha’s scent was much stronger than his own on it, and Jinyoung’s heat had started to calm down with suppressants but nothing could have guaranteed that he would not be discovered anyway. Fortunately it hadn’t happened, BamBam however hadn’t failed to point out at least three times how much that choice had been a gamble, just as he hadn’t spared himself from giving a shocked look at the possessive way in which the omega had clung to that jacket. The Thai boy had thrown his hands up in surrender, not wanting to deal with Jinyoung in that state, so BamBam just reminded him to call him if he needed anything and then he left. At that point, the omega was left alone. With Jackson’s jacket. Thinking about it now, Jinyoung brought his hands to his face in frustration, curling his fingers and pressing his knuckles against his eyelids. His ears turned red quickly and became so hot that they itched; the memory of what he had done with the garment after holed up in his room perfectly vivid in his memory – it was all suppressors’s fault, which had worked enough to inhibit the pain of the need to mate but not enough to stop him from wearing nothing but that jacket, calling its owner’s name as Jinyoung gave himself pleasure by breathing the faint but still present scent. He sighed loudly and it took him a few seconds to remove his hands from his face, then he tried to look at the bag again but the shame came back to push against every part of his brain and the omega ended up squatting up on his knees, grunting in exasperation; he tried to cling to the excuse that his palms were too sweaty to take it, telling himself it would be unpleasant to pass something so wet to Jackson – just as it had been when he fingered himself, working his hole open enough or as much as Jinyoung figured it would’ve been from what he felt through the clothes in the bathroom; to take every inch of Jackson… “I can burn it” he said at one point, still bent over in that uncomfortable position, intent on torturing the skin of a finger between his teeth. Besides, he told to himself, it had still been two weeks. If Jackson hadn’t come to claim it sooner, why should Jinyoung bother returning it to him? Maybe it didn’t even belong to him, maybe Jackson himself had borrowed it from someone else and forgotten about it; the rational part of his mind gave him an imaginary slap for how absurd and stupid that thought was, but it was true that the other had never shown up either. Maybe the man was afraid Jinyoung was still in heat and therefore, putting it off, had given up? The omega couldn’t help but feel tremendously guilty every time he thought about it. He had dragged someone who had nothing to do with it into a difficult and almost unbearable situation, risking getting them both into trouble just because Jinyoung couldn’t do otherwise: binding himself to the glances others gave him, to the murmurs that followed him everywhere – even if no one knew, but Jinyoung was aware of everything. Indeed it surprised him that not a single one of his colleagues had said or done anything; Jinyoung had lived in anxiety for the first four days after his return, every person who approached him to ask how he was causing agitation and stress because he feared that being exposed was just around the corner. However, a new week had begun and the omega simply realized that no one had really noticed anything. 
That Jackson hadn’t betrayed him, above all. For some reason it was a detail that kept tickling him, a soft and gentle thought like a feather, sometimes very light but often
just
in the background. Jinyoung kept saying it was due to still having the jacket and therefore an unfinished business with the man.
 
His wristwatch lit up when the set time struck for him to leave and head to the office – it wasn’t really necessary, but he preferred to have a timetable to stick to so that he could
tell
if he risked being late or if he had enough time. In that case it served as a signal: Jinyoung, after alternating his gaze from the face of the watch to the offending bag, jumped up like a spring, smoothed the barely wrinkled dress from the previous position and with a lively
resolve
in his eyes finally grabbed
it.
 “I can do it” he said to his reflection in the mirror at the entrance, adjusting his shirt collar and tucking away some hair that came ouf of the hairstyle.  
He pursed his lips and nodded vigorously, after which he retrieved his
work
bag and left the house.
      “I’ll never make it.” “Come on, hyung, what’s so big about it? You go there, tell him hey, hello, do you remember me? I’m the one you were going to do it with in the ba- ouch!” Jinyoung kept his hand up, just in case BamBam feels like another slap, his eyes flaming darts as he hissed “Lower your voice! And stop making it so easy, if it was you think I would have waited all this time?” The younger colleague rubbed the back of his neck, where the merciless and punitive hand of the omega had fallen, whining “No, if anything, you made it difficult precisely because you waited two weeks to decide!” and when he saw the other’s arm come up for another blow he added quickly, shielding his arms in front of his face “I mean, what’s the problem? That jacket smells like a whole laundry, knowing you you’ve taken care of it like a baby, so what’s up? If you were so ashamed you could have given it to me like I told you to, but you were about to kill me when I tried! What were you supposed to do with it to-” BamBam stopped short, staring at the bag Jinyoung was holding as if he suddenly saw an alien emerge from there. Then he looked at the omega, who had abandoned the deadly gaze to replace it with one visibly confused by the other’s change in behavior. Finally, when he saw with chilling slowness the youngest’s face crumpled like waste paper in a grimace of pure disgust, Jinyoung opened his eyelids and mouth at the same rate under the grip of awareness. BamBam had it all figured out. “Hyung… Ew” his friend almost quealed, voice choked as if he were about to vomit, then repeated more loudly “My God… Hyung?! Ew?!” Jinyoung rolled his eyes, feigning exasperation to hide how not only his ears but also his neck was on fire – which he first wanted to do with the jacket, burn it down to the last thread of fabric and permanently eliminate that deplorable evidence; now it didn’t seem like a bad idea at all, rather the only acceptable solution. However, he tried not to give in to the humiliation and, bringing out his best tone of reproach, retorted “You’ve spent the last two weeks making me sexual jokes on this topic, now you are scandalized?!” “Yah! Jokes are jokes!” BamBam yelled in turn, pointing a trembling forefinger towards the bag in question. Neither of them was paying attention to their volume by now “You- in there- oh my gosh I can’t look.” Jinyoung was this close to throwing everything to hell and yelling too, right there, in the middle of the corridor overlooking the department where Jackson supposedly worked, they had attracted so much attention from some passing colleague already – yes, really, they had to stop thinking he wouldn’t notice – so it would have been perfect if the alpha himself had rushed in, attracted by that noise, saving Jinyoung the trouble of looking for him. And in his heart a tiny, infinitesimal part really hoped so little was enough for that man to find and reach him. Thank goodness, anyway, Jinyoung hadn’t reached that psychological breaking point yet. He had in fact decided to take that moment of crisis in BamBam as a personal revenge; so he learned to make fun of him. So, as the Thai boy continued to writhe in false retching – and delirious phrases like I kept that thing in my car – Jinyoung turned around and, without further delay, effectively walked through the entrance that overlooked the large office hall. He moved as naturally as possible among the desks unfamiliar to him, bowing his head in greeting to any unknown colleague who came within range, polite and apparently serene as if that specific space were his natural environment. In theory it was, in practice a little less. Besides, yes, starting to look for Jackson had been a great idea. Certainly better than standing all day waiting for something, like for the man to rain from the ceiling, but on the other hand he had no clue where to look for him and thedepartment in question seemed especially busy that day; every desk nearly occupied by someone other than the person he was looking for. “Hi. Can I help you?” Jinyoung halted his brisk stride and turned to the source of that question: a rather tall boy – a little taller than him, he noticed, but enough that Jinyoung had to lift his chin a bit to be able to meet his eyes – with wavy dark hair looked at him with a gentle smile, one so pure and genuine that you hardly find outside of commercials. In any case, the omega realized he had stayed silent staring at him, judging by how the other’s expression had become more questioning, so he quickly composed himself and, smiling with the utmost cordiality, answered “Actually yes, Kim…” he read the name on the ID badge he wore around his neck “Yugyeom-ssi.” The boy curved his lips up as before “Just call me Yugyeom! You’re probably older than me anyway… Park Jinyoung… hyung? Perhaps?” he read in turn, shrugging his shoulders “What do you need?” Jinyoung pursed his lips, so that dimples appeared on both sides; he had to refrain from pointing out how informally he was addressing him, a stranger and, by his own admission, also a probable older colleague, but he wasn’t there for that. He inhaled, exhaled, then said “I’m looking for a colleague, I have to return something he kindly lent me a few days ago” he lifted the bag to underline what he said “But I only know his name” and that he probably works here, since it’s the only section exclusively for alphas, he thought, realizing only now that there was no actual proof that Jackson was there: Jinyoung himself was reputedly an alpha, though he wasn’t, but his department had every genre and for this reason it was convenient for him, as the only way to ascertain a person’s second gender with absolute certainty was to meet them at the bathroom and he always made sure not to be noticed when he had to go. Or he simply avoided going there as much as possible, although it was far from healthy. So, for all he knew, Jackson could be somewhere else, in some wing of the same floor that he didn’t know existed. If that were the case, of course, Jinyoung really would have proceeded to burn the jacket because he would never find the same amount of courage a second time. Yugyeom’s voice brought him back, a little dismayed “I haven’t been here long, so unfortunately I’m not sure I can help,” he explained, hastily adding when he saw Jinyoung begin to bow in farewell “but Jackson-hyung knows pretty much everyone! I can call him and-” “Wait a minute” Jinyoung stopped him, eyes wide and lit up “Did you say Jackson?” Could it be that easy after all? The boy nodded, raising his index finger towards him “Yes, do you know him too?” The omega felt the urge to push away that finger, as an unconditioned reflex for not having been able to do it before with BamBam. Fortunately, however, the happiness of having reached the end of that mental torture and not a little exhausting reinvigorated Jinyoung to the point of making him forget even the wave of embarrassment that had been weighing him down for two weeks until now. In fact, completely ignoring the other’s question, Jinyoung handed him the bag containing the jacket and started to back away under Yugyeom’s extremely confused look “Yes! It’s him that I have to give this bag to but I have to get back to my job quickly. Could you do me favor to deliver it to him for me?” Yugyeom looked at the item he had just been entrusted to, then at Jinyoung, so nodded and raised a thumbs up in an affirmative sign “Sure, I’ll take care of it! Good luck with your work, Jinyoung-hyung!” The omega thanked him, made several bows that the boy returned and waved to him, directed towards where he had come as quickly as possible: he made it. No more hesitation, no more red-light memories to boil over with shame, no more bags abandoned in obvious areas of the house for him to notice with the illusion of picking it up and taking it to work only to end up shamelessly ignoring it for lack of liver. No more jacket that had become one with the detergent so much Jinyoung had washed it, both to clean it by – himself? and for him to no longer moving from room to room with his hand under his nose, plugging his nostrils with fingertips because the smell seemed to get stuck there, between the woven threads of the fabric of the garment. As if the scent of the alpha didn’t want to go away. No more comfort, too, from that same smell that felt like things Jinyoung didn’t want to feel. With any of his senses. That’s why he ignored his internal disappointment when Yugyeom’s fingers grabbed the bag. That’s why he forced his legs to leave as fast as possible; Jinyoung could not sense such a bond with that object. He couldn’t bond with something that belonged to someone he didn’t even know. Who had probably never looked for him, in those weeks, because the experience had been so horrible that he didn’t want to know anything about him anymore. Jinyoung didn’t blame him, on the contrary, it was more than understandable that he wanted to avoid the omega. It was enough for him that Jackson didn’t say anything to anyone. There was no reason to suffer from it, those small chest pains were just a side effect of an unexpected heat. That chapter was closed and now he could continue with his life. (Without anything tying him to Jackson anymore.) BamBam had been waiting for him at the intersection of corridors leading to their respective office areas; the omega found him staring at the toes of his shoes, grimacing in appreciation of who knows what, then he noticed Jinyoung was back and without the bag. “Did you succeed?” he asked, with such astonishment that Jinyoung felt it was necessary to slap him again “Well? What did he say?” “Nothing,” the older one answered colourlessly “I haven’t met him. I left the bag to a younger colleague of his. He will deliver it to him.” His friend looked at him unconvinced “Are you sure he didn’t trick you to take that nice jacket?” Jinyoung shook his head, glaring at him in turn “And you think I would have been foolish enough to leave it in the hands of the first who passed by? This boy, Kim Yugyeom the ID tag said, looked like a pomeranian on a human scale-” “Kim Yugyeom?” the dongsaeng interrupted him “Does Yugyeomie work here now?” The older one raised an eyebrow, a slight amazement in the expression “Do you know him?” BamBam nodded and at first Jinyoung thought that he had given information he should have kept to himself, because the beta seemed almost disappointed, however that emotion was quickly washed away by a wide smile and his voice was tinged with a restrained laugh “Yes, hyung! I told you about him some time ago, we were roommates in the university dormitory. Then he moved in with his brother and after graduation we never saw each other again. I didn’t know he came back here!” Jinyoung let himself be caught up in that moment of joy, letting the corners of his mouth curve slightly upward “Then it was a doubly fortunate coincidence.” Kunpimook nodded, smiling still in disbelief. That moment faded when he noticed something in Jinyoung’s face “Are you sure you’re okay, hyung?” The latter frowned, sincerely perplexed “Why?” “I don’t know, you seem… a little disgruntled. It’s because you didn’t get to meet-” “‘Bamie,” Jinyoung’s voice cut in between the end of the sentence “thank you for being with me this far and I’m glad I somehow reunited you with an old friend, I’m sure if you drop by for lunch he’ll be happy to see you. But now I should go back to my desk, and you should go too. I wasted too much of your time already.” He ignored the way the other stared at him: it didn’t matter that he understood Jinyoung cut him short on purpose. It didn’t even matter that, probably, whatever BamBam was about to reveal in those words would be the truth, because Jinyoung finally got rid of that jacket. He had returned it, or rather, he had made sure it would return to its rightful owner. There was nothing else he had to do, much less stand still in an environment full of alphas, risking that some of them with a particularly sensitive sense of smell could pick up something in his scent – because BamBam had pointed it out to him: since he had Jackson’s jacket with him, something about Jinyoung’s smell had changed. The younger one had told him it was like having a basket of fruit around, a scent that smelled sweet and fresh at the same time. Neither of them had been able to explain that change, albeit slight and that the beta had noticed only because he was used to the other’s presence, especially after being in close contact with him during his heat. However, Jinyoung hadn’t been able to shake off the feeling that it was something related to the jacket itself. That it wasn’t his and yet it aroused in him a feeling of possessiveness even outside of the heat. It wasn’t good. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good at all and getting rid of it had been the best thing. Kunpimook said no more, taking the hint. He softened his face for a moment, in a way that Jinyoung didn’t understand but he felt like smiling at him weakly in gratitude. Then they said goodbye and both walked towards their respective stations. (Jinyoung could not know this, but a bitter note had appeared in his sweet aroma.)      The frantic tapping on the keyboard abruptly quieted down as colleagues around him started to stand up or pick up their bags, and it was then that Jinyoung knew it was the lunch break time. He intertwined the fingers of his hands and stretched his arms upwards; closed his eyes, abandoning himself against the ergonomic back of the chair. A slight migraine slowly began to bother him with the principle of rhythmic and annoying pulsations against the temples, moreover he felt his stomach closed so he had refused BamBam’s invitation – who had sent him a message a few minutes ago – to join him and Yugyeom. Besides, Jinyoung could imagine the two had many things to talk about, after all they hadn’t seen each other for years or this was what he remembered from his conversation with the younger colleague; in his place he would have preferred to share that reunion only with his old friend, rehashing episodes of which the omega would have known nothing and it was probable he would have ended up not saying much on that occasion. He didn’t think he should spoil that moment with his headache and typical silence. Not to mention that Jinyoung had asked Yugyeom to deliver the jacket to Jackson, so the boy could have taken the subject and it was the last thing he wanted: to keep open a chapter that he had finally closed. Or at least, Jinyoung hoped so. He realized it even before opening his eyes, which he found himself squinting hard, as if by doing so he could ignore the presence at his side. He also told himself, almost with a certain desperation, that perhaps it was all a figment of his imagination, that he had been in too much contact with the original perfume of the jacket that he had kept with him up to that moment and now he seemed to smell it everywhere. Unfortunately, however, his nose betrayed him, pinching his sense of smell with a slight tip of leaves slowly consumed by the fire. “Hey… Are you busy?” Jinyoung cursed himself, because the stiffness that had caught him unprepared the moment he began to perceive the aroma of the alpha had suddenly dissolved at hearing his voice; soft and gentle, it had settled on the tension of his muscles and had descended up to the heart, tormenting it sweetly. The omega opened his eyes and turned far too quickly, lifting his face towards the familiar face – although it was absurd to consider it such after having seen it on only one occasion; he felt a twinge in his chest as he met Jackson’s uncertain gaze, standing beside him with both hands in his pockets, lips barely lifted in an unsuccessful attempt at a smile that came as rueful. Jinyoung tried to smile back and sound convincing, sincerely hoping his hair covered his ears enough not to show the telltale blush. “Hey, no, go ahead. Can I… can I help you in any way?” Jackson looked at him for a few seconds, probing Jinyoung’s shifty, actor’s eyes, then bit his lip “I wanted to thank you for bringing me the jacket, Yugyeomie… he told me that this morning you stopped by my department but today I was late and I hadn’t arrived yet, sorry.” Jinyoung blinked and frowned, confused by the fact that it was the other who was not only thanking him for returning one of his things – and which he had lent to help him in the first place – but was actually apologizing for not being present when Jinyoung finally decided to show up. At an unpredictable moment and after two whole weeks. So the omega shook his head in disbelief and hurried to reassure him “You don’t have to apologize, you couldn’t have known I would have stopped by today, and it’s me…” he paused for a moment, feeling the need to look away, his low voice full of growing embarrassment “… who should be thanking you for lending it to me. And apologies, too, for taking so long to return it to you.” A strange silence fell, the kind that oscillates between a placid stasis and a deep oppressive emptiness: Jinyoung had tried to be as short and painless as possible and he hoped to be able to cut it there, however he expected the man would have replied something to close the conversation, putting an end to the pleasantries and endorsing the matter as officially concluded. The alpha stayed next to him instead, Jinyoung kept seeing the dark pants of his suit out of the corner of his eye, pretending to arrange some messy papers – perfectly orderly – on his desk and muttering something about the next job to arrange at the computer in a casual tone; praying that the other would suggest the conversation was over. If he had dared to look at them, Jackson’s eyes would have made the confusing situation in which the omega felt worse, enveloped in the other’s scent that didn’t have the same effect on him as it did during the heat, nevertheless Jinyoung felt something strange inside himself and was starting to take on more and more the connotation of discomfort. The fear that Jackson was silently judging him, that he still hadn’t left because he wanted to say something about what happened – confirming that Jinyoung had been right all those days to think that he’d been purposely avoiding him up until that moment, and that now he had reached him only for politeness; that he found Jinyoung’s desperate way of hiding is second gender pathetic, that he should denounce his recklessness. (That he found him disgusting, too.) He bit his lower lip hard and didn’t care about the slight iron taste he started to feel, because his eyes were starting to sting and he couldn’t allow himself that anxiety, not in the office where it would only slow him down. He was about to speak and tell the man that he intended to get back to work, when Jackson’s voice returned, still awkward but less hesitant than before “Do you want to have lunch with me?” Jinyoung whirled around and could only imagine how visibly surprised he must be by the way Jackson’s smile grew wider and genuine, slightly baring his teeth and reaching up to the cheekbones. The gentle smell of tea soothed the turmoil in his heart, even if the pulse refused to calm down. He prayed the warmth he felt in his cheeks wasn’t too obvious on the outside, but Jackson still kept his lips curled in that way so beautiful he couldn’t decipher, mesmerized and confused at the same time by that reaction. And Jinyoung wasn’t even hungry, he really wanted to keep working rather than wasting his break time doing nothing, nor did he have much desire to go to the company canteen or go out looking for some restaurant. However he must have nodded to the other, because the alpha pressed his lips and put on such a funny and inexplicably pleased expression that Jinyoung found himself smiling reflexively, standing up and ready to follow the man.
He paid no attention to it, but there was no longer any trace of the headache.      To his surprise, Jackson had taken him to a restaurant attached to a sauna service; for a moment Jinyoung had feared he would offer to talk in there but he mentally slapped himself before he could say something silly and wedge himself into another embarrassing situation, merely following him into what, now that the omega got a better look, appeared to be more of a restaurant for families. Jinyoung looked around and felt a slight sense of nostalgia as he watched a mother wipe some kind of sauce off her children’s faces, pretending to scold them – but it was clear the amusement in the woman’s voice, accompanied by the laughter of the children. “Jinyoung” Jackson called him, who in the meanwhile had moved further between the tables and gestured for him to come closer “Come, this is the table where I usually sit.” The omega almost hopped to catch up with him as fast as possible, not realizing he was quite far behind. He also had to deal with the tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach, hearing his name called by the other’s, a little surprised that he remembered it – he might have read the badge Jinyoung kept above his buttoned-up jacket, in plain sight like everyone else in the office. It didn’t necessarily have to be something particular and for which to feel almost flattered. Still, it was pleasant to know that one was remembered, that one had a value for someone, even a stranger, to the point of leaving one’s name imprinted in their memory. Even after two weeks of nothing. Jackson must have misinterpreted Jinyoung’s renewed muteness as they sat down, because he asked him with a note of apprehension “Is everything okay? You do not like it?” Jinyoung winced slightly at the question, awakened. No, he actually really liked the place, especially the table Jackson had chosen, near a large window overlooking the restaurant’s outdoor layout, filled with flower pots. It gave a sense of peace that had failed him for days. Before he could answer, however, the other continued. “We can go somewhere else if you prefer, I chose because I invited you but-” “Jackson,” the omega interrupted him at that point, feeling an unusual sense of satisfaction when the man calmed his agitation and straightened up composed, like a little boy being scolded; Jinyoung felt a strong tenderness in the way Jackson’s lips disappeared thinning, large eyes fixed on him and a small frown between his eyebrows “I was lost in thought. I really like this place, I’ve never been here before.” The other stared at him, full irises anchored to Jinyoung’s looking for something and he had to find it because he relaxed, starting to sit down and inviting him to do the same. “At this hour there aren’t many people” explained the alpha, handing him the menu “I discovered it by chance a few months ago. I had no desire to stay in the office, I wanted to… breathe a little outside. But I also didn’t want to hang around too much, or find myself eating somewhere surrounded by colleagues. I just wanted a change of scenery, you know?” Jinyoung nodded. You don’t know how much he said to himself but avoided expressing it aloud, preferring to concentrate on the menu. He also absentmindedly checked his watch, which showed 1:14 pm. After a couple of seconds in which neither of them said anything more, he felt Jackson exhale, as if he had opened his mouth to say something but held back: the omega’s eyes were quick enough to catch the other’s hand raised towards him. The man waved it to glossing over the issue. Obviously Jinyoung ignored him “What?” “Nothing, really, I just wanted to recommend the fried chicken, it’s serious-” “Jackson.” The latter stopped what Jinyoung had a hunch would have been a long monologue about the deliciousness of the dish – which he had already targeted anyway, not to say that he had actually decided to order it, he was just pretending to check the other dishes as well. Jackson looked at him and Jinyoung raised his eyebrows eloquently, then the alpha replied “I wanted to ask what your name is. I mean, the full name. And whether I have to use a particular honorific or not… Stuff like that. I would like to start over, in…” “A normal way?” the omega completed for him with a laugh that didn’t create any creases on either side of his eyes. After all, it was kind of sour but he couldn’t blame him for considering their first meeting atypical, and that was a rather reductive term. On the other hand, Jinyoung couldn’t help but feel something twisting uncomfortably inside again, but he did his best to ignore it when he saw Jackson nod and reach out a hand to him, slow and uncertain. He left it in mid-air, without daring to advance further so as not to invade the other’s vital space, thus also giving him the opportunity to decide whether to ignore it or accept it; a small, anxious hope animating his pupils, which Jinyoung noticed dilate as he in turn raised his arm and, trying not to show any emotion at the touch, squeezed it – Jackson’s nostrils seemed to flare for an instant, as if he was feeling a particular smell suddenly, and addressed an expression difficult to decipher first to their clasped hands and then to the omega himself. Jinyoung felt burnt and hoped he could get away quickly. Jackson didn’t fail to notice it, nor did his agitation escape his gaze, but he introduced himself with the friendliest smile he could manage “Jackson Wang.” “Park Jinyoung” the other replied, the copy of the man’s smile he knew wasn’t very convincing but for a moment his attention was caught by Jackson’s grip on him, how his fingers were iron without hurting him and suddenly the memory of the day in the alpha’s room returned vividly – of how much and in what kind of way Jackson had protected him and made him feel so even just through a jacket. “So, Park Jinyoung-ssi” Jackson said at one point, moving their hands up and down a few times before letting go – Jinyoung felt himself blush as he realized he was the one holding on too much, hurriedly hiding the guilty hand under the table “How old are you?” “I will be 29 in September.” “Oh!” exclaimed the alpha, for some reason the news seemed to cheer him up “Then I’m older than you, I turned 29 in March. But that also means we don’t need to raise any label barriers, right? Unless you prefer the other way around.” Jinyoung shook his head, the smile more genuine “No, it’s okay for me too. And we’ve already called each other by first name anyway, I think we’re beyond that point.” It had come out spontaneously, a sentence that simply wanted to underline how good it was for him to abandon any formality by making use of their reality: up to that moment they had only been Jackson and Jinyoung, moreover the older’s name was known to the omega because he had heard it by accident. Walling themselves behind a few courtesy suffixes now seemed almost ridiculous. They might even have laughed about it; that they even considered using them after all that happened. Except that neither of them had laughed – Jackson had coughed something vaguely like laughter but too nervous to meet the hopes of the omega, who instead felt immediately sinking and really wanted to become one with the plastic card of the menu that he felt sticking to his sweaty palms. Had they been in that condition even during their handshake? “Yes,” the alpha confirmed, running a hand nervously through his hair “I’d say we’re way beyond it.” The only sound they heard for a while, other than the voice of the waiter who came by to take their orders and then disappeared faster than he appeared, was the laughter of the children still present in the restaurant, only this time it was further away, heading to the checkout with their mother. Which made Jinyoung realize that once they were gone, he and Jackson would be pretty much alone except for a few other customers at tables farther away from theirs. He wanted to escape. For a moment, cowardly and anxious, he checked how many meters separated him from the entrance and tried to mentally calculate how much money he would have to leave on the table for his order before he could get up and run away, because the last thing he wanted was to have a more debt to that man and make him pay for food that probably no one would eat. Jinyoung wasn’t even sure he’d be able to make it himself who ordered it, more to not seem rude at being invited than to whet his appetite. If anything, given the context, the stomach was closed, entirely occupied by a growing mass of stress and terror. His palms felt so sweaty that he wouldn’t be surprised if they actually started dripping at any moment. When he saw Jackson start to speak after what seemed like endless hours, Jinyoung couldn’t help himself any longer. He couldn’t give him the advantage of saying anything. He couldn’t be unarmored in front of a person Jinyoung knew nothing about except a couple of pieces of information he learned in the last ten minutes – and yet he had the feeling that Jackson already knew a lot more than those closest to the omega, even more than his own department colleagues. “Listen, Jackson” Jinyoung said quickly, closing his eyes as the smell of burning seemed to intensify for an instant; under the table, the back of his left hand was getting covered in little crescents from the nails he was pressing into it “I… I’m really sorry about what happened. It’s never happened to me, I’ve always been able to keep certain… situations under control. I’ve never involved anyone, and I know you probably think bad of me, that I was reckless and selfish but I swear it will never happen again. Althought I’ll understand if… if you’re mad at me.” He spoke in one breath, trying not to take his eyes off the other’s, who had gone from being anxious like him to sudden serious and attentive. Jackson had been like that before, too, as if he too felt like walking on a floor full of pins in bare feet, cautious about what he could or could not say, but he had always tried to show lightness and spontaneity despite the obvious discomfort: this time, Jackson looked at him with an unreadable frown and to make matters worse his aroma was increasingly confusing, sometimes so strong to stun him. Jinyoung felt his eyes tingle at the thought that by now he was close to hearing everything he had feared to hear, that perhaps the alpha would never have told him if he hadn’t prompted him with that speech instead of letting the bad memory die – because on the other hand there was no reason to keep it alive, to bring it back to the surface. He and Jackson were at lunch now, but was written nowhere that they were going to be full-blown acquaintances, that it would happen again. That they would become friends. Not after what had happened. Jackson probably didn’t even want to be there with him now, just founding himself forced by the circumstance, by the omega that had reappeared in his life bringing him that jacket that maybe he would have thrown in the first garbage can he would find at the end of the day. Jinyoung swallowed several times in an attempt to get rid of the lump in his throat, ready for humiliation, closing his eyes forcefully because he was unable to hold Jackson’s, which hadn’t left him for a single second. In doing so, he did not notice how the man’s features still serious but took on a softer fold, the kindness to dedicate to something delicate that one is afraid to destroy under excessive pressure. And if Jinyoung hadn’t had all his senses invaded by such a negative agitation he would have realized how much the hint of tea in Jackson’s distinctive smell was trying to instill comfort and serenity in him. “Jinyoung-ah” the alpha started, immediately catching the other’s obvious gasp even though Jackson was speaking in such a calm and deep tone of voice “That’s right, I think what happened was dangerous, especially for you” he asserted, again he tried to soften his words when he saw how the younger buried his head between his shoulders “But it’s also true that I don’t know your motivations, and I feel I can believe you wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t have any. I’m not asking you to reveal them to me if you don’t want to, but I’d like you to promise not to persist like that if it happens again.” Finally Jinyoung opened his eyes again, slowly revealing an astonishment almost closer to emotion. At that, Jackson offered him a dismayed smile. “I’ve never been mad at you, just so you know. If anything, I thought… it was the other way around.” The younger one looked at him confused, the question came out a bit nasal but he tried not to sniffling “The other way around?” It was Jackson’s turn to betray how much nervousness he was holding back. His expression darkened and, as he spoke, Jinyoung felt a terrible pang in his heart and his throat tightening, as if smoke was blocking him from breathing. “I thought I scared you. You know, I tried my best for as long as possible but at one point I… I really wanted…” he winced, a thin vein of contempt in words that Jinyoung, again, was unable to translate but still understood the man was speaking to himself. Jackson rolled his eyes and shook his head as if he wanted to suppress something, then continued “When Yugyeom came to me with that bag, today, I couldn’t believe it. After all that time, I was convinced you would’ve never go anywhere near me again.” Jinyoung wished he could allow himself to reach out and hold the alpha’s hand again, squeeze it and give him comfort, but he couldn’t explain the veil of urgency he sensed and had no confidence in himself: he feared it would only make things worse. They were still two strangers. So he stayed silent, listening to the other’s bitter confession. “At first I tried to visit your department, but I realized that I didn’t know anything but your name and show myself there saying Hey, I’m looking for a guy named Jinyoung, I lent him my jacket it would have been a bit…” “Shady?” Jinyoung completed for him for the second time, but found himself saying it in a lighter tone, even feeling a tinge of amusement at the thought of the scene the other could have been in. Jackson must have found the same irony, because the shadow of the smile from earlier reappeared on his face. “But I told Yugyeom and he didn’t ask any questions” because I didn't give him time. “Yeah, well, just know I’m a bad liar so I wouldn’t have known how to dissemble. Besides, it’s not like I could have exactly denied it, don’t you think?” the older one asked, imitating his tone. Jinyoung let out a cry of embarrassment and frustration and covered his eyes with his hands, even though his lips still hadn’t erased the upturned curve. Jackson wanted to uncover the omega’s face again, to see him well now that he seemed to have relaxed, but he didn’t want to risk reviving the tension and so he focused on his speech “Let’s say I gave up. I didn’t want to invade your space. Even today, seeing that you had preferred to ask someone else rather than hand me the jacket in person, I thought that… I should have let it go. That it was your implicit way of telling me to pretend nothing happened.” Jinyoung nodded, not knowing what else to say. Internally he was just curious to understand, at that point, what had prompted Jackson to go to him anyway. (In addition to feeling a strong sympathy for what the other was saying; he somehow felt comfort in the thought that they both shared similar anxieties.) “Only that the jacket was next to me the whole time” continued the alpha “And it kept catching my eye. I thought, why now? Did something happen to him? I wanted… I wanted to understand. At first I was just going to check that you were okay, I wasn’t going to get any closer” his voice trailed off, grew warmer somehow; the tea leaves burned slowly “But then I saw you, and I found myself next to you before I even knew it.” Jinyoung realized in that moment that he had been holding his breath, that he had started to do it since Jackson had resumed talking again, revealing that concern that the omega could not rationalize; used to people who would have taken advantage of that situation, to hold his weakness against him, the sincerity perceived in the words – and in the aroma – of the older sent Jinyoung’s soul into turmoil. In a surprisingly good way, though he didn’t dwell on that feeling because he still thought it was too dangerous and there was no heat to blame at that moment. “Now that I think about it, we’re here together but maybe you only agreed because you’re the kind of guy who would rather have his head cut off than being rude.” Jinyoung chuckled keeping his lips pressed, slightly wrinkling the tip of his nose “One thing doesn’t exclude the other.” “Which means?” “That I’m the kind of guy who would rather have his head cut off than being rude, but I didn’t come here just out of politeness.” From paying attention to what he was saying, Jackson’s face gradually changed, assimilating the younger man’s words and probing his gaze until the residual wrinkles on his face completely smoothed out, as if the concern harbored up to that moment had actually begun to dissipate. He seemed more relaxed, as well as happy. In an all too gleeful part of his mind, Jinyoung thought he was looking at the most handsome man he had ever seen. Not only in aesthetic terms, and it was true that any other characteristic could only be a first impression, but he felt he could trust Jackson. That he was an understanding person, who never, not even for an instant, had really made Jinyoung feel judged other than his personal paranoia. And it was also true that, although fear had contaminated every second until now, seeing Jackson again, feeling him next to him pressed a key of conflicting emotions. If on the one hand there was the concern of what that confrontation might entail, on the other there was a sort of happiness nestled between the cracks of his discomfort, filling them and keeping him whole, almost in anticipation. Perhaps for this reason, not without completely abandoning anxiety but with a pinch of extra confidence, it was Jinyoung’s turn to confess “I thought I… disgusted you, the other day. And that that was why you hadn’t come to get the jacket.” Jackson grimaced and asked shocked “What? Why would I?” Jinyoung fidgeted a bit in his chair, his fingers still under the table pinching each other; he felt his earlobes begin to glow “I mean, I have… to you… in the bathroom…” “Jinyoung” Jackson immediately interrupted him, dry “I may not be an omega, but I know how it works when you get into heat. Don’t blame yourself for something that didn’t depend on you” he said in a firm voice, so convinced that the younger one’s vision began to blur slightly “We found ourselves in a… complicated situation, but I never felt disgusted towards you nor I avoided you because of this. Like I said, if I didn’t come to you sooner it’s because I was afraid I would have make you uncomfortable.” The paper had started to burn again; likewise, something in Jinyoung’s heart revived. He didn’t even realize he’d shed any tears until Jackson handed him the napkin holder from their table, again with that tight-lipped smile and softened eyes. Jinyoung grabbed one of the handkerchiefs and thanked him. After a few seconds, Jackson asked him in a low voice “It’s better now, isn’t it?” The omega nodded as he blew his nose, releasing all the accumulated nervousness in a laugh. The older one inhaled deeply, feeling something for which he said satisfied, more to himself than to the other “Yeah, it’s better.” The waiter arrived with their orders shortly after, enough for Jinyoung to compose himself even though his nose was a little red and his eyes shiny. However, he couldn’t worry about it because Jackson entertained him the whole time, enthusiastically showing him the right way to eat fried chicken with a specific combination of sauces. Jinyoung listened to every word. He could have done it for hours.      “Jinyoung-ah.” Jinyoung turned to the man, who had stood a little behind him; they had walked towards the company once they had finished lunch – the omega had ended up eating his dish entirely, the knot in the stomach and the lack of appetite completely forgotten. Jackson had even insisted on paying for both of them, because he was the one who had invited him and when Jinyoung had tried to resist as stubbornly as he could he found himself falling back to the “And for making you cry” which the alpha treacherously thrown at him, grinning victoriously when Jinyoung had been able to do nothing but gasp and then hurry towards the exit with cheeks on fire. When Jackson had caught up with him, the younger one had pretended for a few steps that he didn’t want to go at his pace and tried to keep his distance; Jackson’s shrill laugh had come inexplicably loud at the gesture, so as to drag him back and so their shoulders, at a given distance, were aligned. “Mh?” The alpha looked everywhere before reconnecting their irises. He dug his hands into his pockets again and Jinyoung wondered if it was Jackson’s way of showing agitation, whether he was aware of it or not. He felt a small sense of satisfaction at the thought of being able to catch such an intimate detail of the other, although it distracted him because he didn’t hear what he said. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you, could you repeat?” Jackson looked at him, gasping, as if he didn’t expect that request and Jinyoung found hilarious – and adorable, but he didn’t even admit it to his conscience – the way the older one squinted, lifting his head and then lowering it again. “I said,” the older then began to repeat in a voice as thin as a peep, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, unable to stay still “that I’d like to have lunch with you again.” The omega widened his eyes, his lips parted under the surprise of that invitation that he would never have thought would come to him: although he felt a pleasant lightness in walking alongside Jackson, Jinyoung hadn’t in the least thought that their meeting – whose purpose had been to clarify that parenthesis suspended between them – would not be the last. If anything, he assumed otherwise, because that’s how he was. Jackson had been splendid throughout the lunch, there were no other terms to define him and even that seemed not enough to fully encompass the qualities the man had shown him, being funny and brilliant in those small talk they managed to have, as well as thoughtful in a way that made Jinyoung feel sincerely flattered to receive such attentions. To tell the truth, he had gotten along so well with Jackson but he was certain that he had been not even the slightest able to reciprocate. So he didn’t know what to say. It took him a while to take in the meaning and implication of those words and Jackson must have interpreted it the wrong way, because he added, speaking at an absurd speed “Obviously I understand that you don’t want, don’t feel obligated, you can refuse without any problem and I will accept it, we can even pretend I didn’t tell you anything, it’s just that I really enjoyed talking to you and thought we could become friends? In time? But really, I understand it’s not-” “Stop right there” the younger raised his hands and stopped that rush, then he lowered them when the other nodded, making a gesture to shut his mouth. Jinyoung chuckled and that was enough for the alpha’s shoulders to relax, more at ease “I would really like to have lunch with you again. Though I’m not sure I can entertain you but I’ll do my best.” The man shook his head, his smile full and bright again “I don’t want you to entertain me, I want to get to know you better”. Then he seemed to realize something, because he added hastily, thought jokingly winking “But I swear I’m not going to drag you into a bathroom again. However, you feel free to do it as you please! Just don’t smash me against the door, I still have bruises!” Jinyoung looked at him shocked, feeling his jaw falling in amazement, and when Jackson raised both of his eyebrows several times he burst out laughing. Like that, in the early afternoon and in the middle of the sidewalk, loud enough to feel the need to cover his mouth with his hand. Jackson observed that scene in ecstasy but Jinyoung didn’t notice him, too filled with the kindness of the man’s scent, his heart drumming pleasantly at the thought that such a person would really be interested in meeting him. He even believed that the story of the accident would become almost taboo for them, that just mentioning it or implying it would send Jinyoung into a panic and torment for hours at the memory. Instead it was enough to face it with Jackson to be able to laugh about it. He felt stupid for wasting two weeks wallowing in self-pity, gripped by fears as thin as air. When he pulled himself together he found Jackson’s happy expression welcoming him. “Okay, no more bathroom dates.” “Maybe somewhere else would be fine.” Ah, Jinyoung had never fully understood the expression of having butterflies in the stomach until now; he decided it was simple digestion, after all he had eaten so much against all his odds. And, on the other hand, nothing that he had believed would happen had actually happened. He was almost afraid to close his eyes and realize, once they reopened, he had only imagined everything. Jackson’s scent grounded him in reality and kept telling him how wrong he was. Jinyoung’s phone rang as the two started walking again, revealing BamBam’s name on the screen; he held up a finger and Jackson nodded, stopping as he answered. “‘Bamie, did something happen?” “Hyung, where are you?” Jinyoung watched the realization making its way into Jackson as he heard the voice coming from the speaker, his mouth dropping comically as he recognized the boy with whom he had had a somewhat heated conversation the day they last met. The omega bit his lip to hold back a laugh when Jackson looked at the phone, pointed at it, and then stared at Jinyoung, who nodded and continued “I went out to lunch.” He perfectly imagined BamBam’s astonished face when he replied “Really? Did you decline my invitation and then go out on your own?” He felt Jackson’s now curious gaze on him but tried to ignore it. “No… I’m with Jackson” he said, and when a sharp sound came from the other end, almost worse than fingers scratching on a blackboard, the omega tried to add “It wasn’t something planned, I was really-” “No,” Kunpimook interrupted with ostentatious condescension in his voice “I understand. Why come to eat with me and Yugyeom when you could see your wet dream again-” “Kunpimook Bhuwakul” Jinyoung imbued each letter with a serious warning – this time the alpha’s narrowed eyes, not just his scent, seemed to burn where they were staring; Jinyoung, again, wisely ignored him “We’re about to go back to the office. Do you want me to join you?” 
Silence came from the phone, the typical pause that the dongsaeng used to take when he heard the concreteness of the other’s threats. Finally he resumed “
Don’t

worry hyung,

I’ll

see you at the end of the shift! I’m also going back to my department-”
 “Hyung!” another voice broke in, which Jinyoung didn’t recognize at first “I’m Yugyeom, I handed the jacket to Jackson-hyung! So if he tells you it’s not like that, don’t believe him!” “Yugyeom…” Jackson also joins the conversation with a fakely hurted tone; it was getting hilarious “Is this what you think of me? What would Mark-hyung say about it?” 
Another pause, only BamBam could be heard asking in the distance what the alpha meant as confused as Jinyoung was, not to mention intrigued by the implication. Jackson motioned him not to say anything and that he would explain later; Jinyoung loved too much that implicit promise of a

later, which indeed they had decided to have.
 “I don’t know what happened but Yugyeomie broke so I’ll take him back to his desk and then I’ll go back to mine. See you later, Jinyoung-hyung!”  
"Bring him back safely, I need him this afternoon” Jackson pointed out.
 “I will do my best but I make no guarantees.”  
Jinyoung chuckled, then they ended the call. After that he turned to the alpha,
feeling all giggly
“Who is Mark-hyung?”
 
Jackson grinned “Yugyeom’s decade-long crush. But don’t tell him I told you, he likes to convince himself he’s being discreet.”
 
The omega emitted a tender cry, pursing his lips in a small pout and brought his hands to his chest “Youngsters!”
 “Youngsters” Jackson agreed, even though he seemed almost absent-minded – his eyes had lingered a moment too long on the other’s pronounced mouth but he averted them quickly enough for Jinyoung not to notice. So he made a sweeping movement with his arm in front of them, leaning slightly “Shall we go back?”. Jinyoung smiled without baring his teeth, enough for the dimples to appear and again Jackson seemed to be fascinated by something, however he straightened up and walked away before the omega could really say anything. 
To Jinyoung’s
amazement,
maybe
because they had been talking all the way, they found themselves in front of their large office building faster than he thought. They went on together into the elevator, both being on the same floor; in a bubble of silence, the omega wondered how he had
managed to
stay
locked in there with the other man without realizing how good his scent was. Probably the anxiety had been too strong to
notice
it, while now he felt completely at ease, his soul placid under the gentle caress of that aroma –
there was something different than before but he didn’t give it weight,
after all he
still had to learn to recognize it. He smiled at the thought that, perhaps, sooner or later he would actually be able to decipher it.
 He wondered if Jackson too was concentrating on his scent, his cheeks pinching with a slight warmth at the memory of how the older one had called
his smell
some time ago.
 
(He hoped he hadn’t changed his mind.)
 
As the elevator doors opened, Jackson turned to him. Almost in dismay – as
if he didn’t want to part – he said
“I have to go the other way from here.”
 Jinyoung nodded; for some reason, the gland below his neck seemed to tickle “So... see you around?” 
Jackson nodded back, extending his hand towards him; Jinyoung grabbed
it
with magnetic naturalness.
 “It was my pleasure, Park Jinyoung-ssi.”  
The omega chuckled, his palm tingled in contact with the other’s and he realized with relief he wasn’t sweating anymore. Finally, sincere and with a touch of gratitude in his tone, he said, slightly distorting the pronunciation of the name “Me too, Wang Jackseuna-ssi.”
 
Jackson raised his eyebrows, the corners of his mouth turned up. Then, when other colleagues also began to move from one part of the floor to another, they separated. The alpha was the first to walk away, raising his now free hand in greeting. Jinyoung reciprocated, waving his hand more briskly, but waited to see the other disappear in the stream of people that invaded the corridor to decide to turn and leave,
back to his desk.
 
Jackson’s scent didn’t even disperse among hundreds of different ones.
 
(Or perhaps some of it had remained on Jinyoung without his knowledge.)

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It had been almost another full week since that lunch with Jackson. Not a single piece of news had come from the alpha; Jinyoung had looked for him in the building’s cafeteria during lunchtime – even though Jackson had said he didn’t particularly like that location – and had even gone so far as to accidentally wander the corridors of his department, however without ever mustering the courage to lean beyond doorways that led to desks. He had limited himself to standing outside, always ready documents in hand to which pay feigned attention in case someone passed by him, mingling with the rest of the employees without risking meeting the eye of anyone in particular. (He certainly didn’t need eyes to spot Jackson in the middle.) For some reason, the more days went by, the more Jinyoung felt almost shy about meeting the other again, who was also acting in hiding and was impossible to locate again. The omega had even begun to think that what happened, their conversation and the mutual agreement to stay in touch, he had simply imagined them. That the jacket had remained in Yugyeom’s hand and that his meeting with Jackson had been nothing more than an articulated and somewhat convenient scenario built by his unconscious to soften the sense of guilt, like earth thrown on the fire. So there was little he could do about it but resign himself to the evidence. Another part of him, the one that stubbornly clung to the scent of the other and that he couldn’t get out of his head every time he started thinking about it - which happened all too often, for his tastes - just didn’t want to knowlet go of his chest. It didn’t want to let him go, free him from the lumpy patina of anxiety that had clung to his ribs, occupying his rib cage and suffocating him with the grip of shame that he had begun to feel, prey to paranoia. Because the lunch could have happened, Jackson could have told him not to hate him, not to find him disgusting. On the contrary: wanted to go out with him again. At lunch. As colleagues. Obviously. But Jackson was no longer in his field of vision. He hadn’t gone looking for him – and he knew exactly where to find it. Jinyoung knew it too, who had tried in his own way, what could he do if he was weak in the face of the threat of humiliation? It made him a coward, he knew it, unable to handle the embarrassment, to swallow the stares and the hums. It was the reason he kept his second gender hidden: why shouldn’t he be afraid of being rejected? To see that what he’d felt had been the simple trick of a blanket of smoke that had dulled all his senses? Not that there was anything to reject or any particular feelings behind it all, of course. The worst part was that Jinyoung didn’t even believe it was possible. That Jackson had deceived him, that he’d gone to the trouble of closing the matter in a rather positive way and then disappearing as if nothing had happened: it was not a possibility that he really considered. Maybe he wasn’t avoiding him and Jinyoung had just fallen into yet another trap of his own past experiences, tainting the prospect of anything better because he convinced himself it couldn’t happen to him again. Still, once the umpteenth working day was over, the omega did not go towards the piano section dedicated entirely to the alphas but rather towards the beta’s one after sending BamBam a quick and apparently cryptic message – actuallyit was a typo because he had tried to use abbreviations with fast typing. Luckily the younger one was used to this messaging distraction and still waited for him shortly near the elevator. 
Jinyoung waved a hand when he was in her line of sight, catching her attention. The Thai boy reciprocated, meeting him halfway.
 
Maybe talking about it would clear his head a bit.
       “What the hell does it mean you didn’t ask for his number?”  
No, definitely talking to BamBam about it hadn’t been the smartest move he had in his deck.
 
Jinyoung took the bridge of his nose between his fingers, closing his eyelids and frowning, tired and with a migraine ready to hit him in full.
 “Can you lower your voice?” he hissed, looking around – this time they had chosen the building’s cafeteria to have coffee together, used as an excuse to strike up the conversation. However, the omega hadn’t taken into account how high-pitched the youngest’s voice could become, especially by displaying shock. In fact, BamBam pulled back his neck like a snake pondering whether to attack or retreat altogether, looking at him with such a judgmental gaze that Jinyoung, for a very short moment, really thought he was on trial and awaiting his verdict. He understood that it was the end when the boy pointed his index finger at him, leaning on the table that separated them to get as close as possible to him. “Seriously, hyung? You are among the best employees in the entire company, you have a nose for opportunities and you have a flair for logical solutions that ninety percent of the population dreams of-”  “Now let’s not exaggerate…”  “-and you didn’t think about asking your boyfriend’s fucking number?!” It took Jinyoung a second to understand the meaning of his friend’s sentence and when the realization came clear to his brain so did the blood, which rushed to his face and flared up to his ears; he leapt up in his chair and reached out trying to cover BamBam’s mouth with his hands, shooting him a deadly glare and gesturing for silence.  “What the hell’s wrong with you?!” the omega whispered again, though his voice still came out louder than he intended – some heads had already turned towards them, who knows for how long.  Kunpimook clearly couldn’t care less because he moved away from the grip of the older one, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed, still stunned “No, what the hell’s wrong with you! Are you surprised that you were unable to arrange a new meeting with a person you haven’t heard from for days since you didn’t ask for his phone number? Hyung, can you tell me how many years have you not dated someone?” “First of all, we’re not dating and he’s not my-” he stopped when he realized he had unconsciously raised his voice even more, attracting the attention of two female colleagues at first a little further away, far from discreet in approaching at their table; again, Jinyoung felt the amount of shame sink into his sternum. Then he finished, almost imperceptibly, sliding back against the seat as if letting himself be absorbed by it, eyes fixed on the coffee he hadn’t consumed yet “…he’s not my boyfriend.” 
He could feel BamBam’s gaze fixed on him: for a few seconds he didn’t say anything, then he sighed loudly.
 “Hyung,” he called him putting his hand on the eldest’s shoulder, much kinder, almost motherly “Look, I can understand you being scared. This is new, you have refused for who knows how long to have close relationships with another human being other than me and Jaebeom-hyung and I admit that you have had some really shitty experiences. But,” the younger insisted, shaking Jinyoung a little to make him look at the beta “from what you’ve told me, if you don’t put more effort into keeping this thing with Jackson-hyung I think you’ll regret it bitterly.” 
Finally Jinyoung began to slowly raise his head, meeting the understanding smile that BamBam was giving him and that was enough for the omega to feel the need to blink quickly for some reason.
 He looked around, sitting up straight again. He sighed, ran a hand through his hair with obvious nervousness and then, after long moments of hesitation, “Do you think you might have Jackson’s number from Yugyeom?” 
The way the beta’s face lit up was enough for Jinyoung to feel the corners of his mouth lift a little as well, infected with an optimism he didn’t quite feel: he and Jackson were complete strangers, even if they were left with a common desire to become friends it might have been a statement thrown in the wind, but what else did he have to lose after all?
 “You fucking bet I can!” Kunpimook exclaimed, the phone already in his hand. Jinyoung watched BamBam’s fingers run frantically across the screen as he continued to speak with extreme excitement but Jinyoung was too busy fighting back the agitation that didn’t want to quiet down despite having someone watching his back – this was the feeling he had always had with BamBam, and perhaps he could never have explained in words how truly grateful he was to him.  
How much less empty, anonymous and gloomy everything seemed in that building thanks to his presence.
 “Done” the Thai boy then said with satisfaction, grinning triumphantly when he turned the phone towards the other, showing him the screen: Jackson’s forwarded contact towered over the chat with Gyeomie.  
Jinyoung bit his lip as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, receiving the message notification from BamBam who had passed him that same number in their chat.
 He stared at the add contact button hesitantly, feeling guilty because he knew it wasn’t right to get it that way. If Jackson hadn’t given it to him himself, why would he have to think he would’ve liked Jinyoung to get it from someone else? He remembered the episode with the jacket, how both of them had foolishly hesitated for days, convinced they hated and annoyed each other when in reality they had orbited each other without knowing it, unable to really meet like two magnets of the same charge. Jinyoung didn’t want to continue to oppose a force he knew he would’ve never win, so he decided to do the only thing that was within his ability to do. He saved the number in his address book. (Changing his charge.) BamBam let out a proud noise, slapping his shoulder so hard Jinyoung nearly knocked the phone out of his hand. The glare he tried to throw at the beta however fell ineffective between them, repelled by the dazzling smile of the younger one. “Obviously when you write to him I want to be informed.” Jinyoung nodded half-heartedly, alternating his gaze from BamBam’s to his own phone, horror growing. Because it was obvious that Jinyoung should’ve write to him first. “You’ll see, as soon as he knows it’s you you’ll find your phone full of messages!”       The only messages that filled his inbox that evening were from BamBam himself, who had begun to pester him for updates, passing from an enthusiastic and joyful tone to a more paternalistic one, a real reproach complete with threats to tell Jaebeom-hyung or use Yugyeom as a conduit to let Jackson know of his cowardice. Because Jinyoung had saved the number, but the moment he set foot in his own apartment he had taken care to leave the phone as far away from him as possible, as if simply adding a contact to his address book had subjected it to the devil. The only times he dared approach were for incoming calls – because only his parents used to call him, Jaebeom rarely, when he needed to talk to him about something and there was no way to meet in person being back in Siheung. BamBam simply hated phone calls, not even to yell at him about how stupid he was being he dared so much. He said that the microphone dispersed the intensity of his complaints and that was not good; Jinyoung was sure the messages included a promise to pull his ears the next day. Not that Jinyoung ever said he’d write Jackson that night. (He hadn’t even said otherwise, but it didn’t matter.)  Jinyoung had promised himself to change, at least a little. To stop himself from letting any possibility slip through his fingers, stranding himself at work and in the comfortable solitude of his apartment. He really wanted to try to build a relationship with Jackson, whatever it was, it didn’t matter; having had him around for so little and in a meager number of circumstances had been enough for the omega to feel that he had found a missing piece in his life. Someone who, even in the way they had met, had never made him feeluneasy or wrong at all – whatever negative feelings he felt came from Jinyoung himself and his worries. Jackson had nothing to do with it. He wondered if Jackson was having those doubts too, if he disappeared again because this time he wanted to see if the Jinyoung would’ve be the first to look for him.But so it had been, Jinyoung looking for him, and there had been no alpha shadow for days. He decided that there was no point in mulling it over, as he wasn’t going to write any messages, much less send anything that night. So he got ready for bed, trying to close his eyes on the resolution, the next day, to try to contact the other. (That night, Jinyoung dreamed of hot tea and slowly consumed incense under the evening twilight, sitting on the veranda of his childhood home; next to him, although he could not see their face throughout the dream, someone was holding their hand on his shoulder and told stories that Jinyoung wished he could remember when he woke up.)       He felt it immediately, as quick as a pinch. So strong and intense that, for a moment, Jinyoung wondered if he was still dreaming. It had been two more days since he’d gotten Jackson’s number and Jinyoung had hesitated again, his brain too obsessed with possible cons, preferring a direct face-to-face confrontation rather than catching possible displeasure from the cold, aloof phone. However that day, setting foot in the company building, he had immediately felt a faint familiar scent of burnt wood and tea leaves. The smell had only increased as he took the elevator, where he seemed surrounded by it and caused Jinyoung’s heart rate to increase, stimulated by an incredible expectation that only then he fully realized he had. When the automatic doors opened, for some reason he couldn’t explain, the omega felt his eyes sting under the pressure of slight tears. Jackson’s scent was definitely too strong to be a mere remnant from his last visit to the office — and it had been too long anyway for a trace to have remained. Jackson is back. Jinyoung felt the need to bring his hand to his chest and press his open palm against it, as if trying to quell its agitated rise and fall, for once oblivious to how it might look on the outside. (Frown brow, shiny round eyes, wide and frantic that moved everywhere in search of a familiar figure, shortness of breath as if he had run from the ground floor to the office.) 
He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He didn’t know how to explain that reaction, which could’ve easily turn into an illusion – because if he had indulged his sense of smell and the strength of his instinct to find himself in front of something that could have belong to Jackson but not be Jackson himself, Jinyoung knew he would be hurt.
 
It was absurd to feel so drawn towards someone he knew so little about. Yet there he was, almost really running from one corridor to another, headed not towards his own station but towards the department where he knew the alpha’s was.
 
Jinyoung was about to cross the threshold, the desks and the first colleagues entering already, when his footsteps were halted by a voice behind him.
 “Jinyoung-hyung?”  
Jinyoung closed his eyes and exhaled heavily, chewing a curse between his teeth, shoulders sagging in defeat.
 
For a moment he had thought it would be so easy.
 
Composing his facial expression and straightening up, he turned to the other “Yugyeom, can I help you?”
 “I should ask you this” the younger one smiled, waving a hand in greeting – he was holding up a folder that overflowed with documents, above a tag with a name that he couldn’t read quickly and was pretty sure the characters weren’t koreans. In any case it was not a detail to which he paid particular attention: for a moment the boy’s reply confused him, then he realized that he was in fact the intruder on that part of the floor and that it made perfect sense to think that he was the one who needed something.  
(Or someone.)
 
He gasped for a full second, fighting the blush he felt threatening the tips of his ears at the gaffe, then smiled as heartily and cheerfully as he could, forcing a laugh that sounded strident and nervous even to himself.
 “No, you’re right. Sorry, I didn’t sleep very well last night and I’m still a little confused.”

Ask him about Jackson

an inner voice said.

Don’t waste any more time

it insisted.
 
He took a breath again, inhaled slowly and deeply, then turned back to the other, under Yugyeom’s perplexed but still wide and bright gaze.
 “Actually, I wanted to ask you-” “If Jackson-hyung is back?”  
Jinyoung felt his jaw drop and had the unfortunate confirmation of this from the way Yugyeom chuckled in his face, without any consideration of his poor person, who apparently kept making himself stupid in the eyes of the younger one with every passing second. Even this, however, was a detail that he quickly kicked away, each cell focused on a single, expected response for which he found himself holding his breath without even realizing it – unlike Yugyeom, who had clearly noticed the change in his posture, the stiffening of his shoulders and the shimmer near the vibrating pupil barely perceptible in the dark iris.
 He found the boy’s smile incredibly warm and heartening, though he couldn’t identify the nature behind it, as if he understood that Jinyoung needed that answer. So “Yes,” he said, placing a hand on the eldest’s shoulder, “he’s not here at the moment - he’s gone to talk to the manager about I don’t know what - but if you come back by lunchtime you’ll definitely find him, also because I have to give him this,” he added, waving the folder again, which this time Jinyoung’s gaze fixed on with more interest although he still couldn’t read the tag.  
Yugyeom didn’t miss that detail and the fold of his lips took on a winking note.
 “Or maybe he’ll come looking for you himself” he concluded.  “Oh” was all the omega managed to say at first glance, dazed by the information. Then he noticed the most obvious grin of the young alpha, so he shook his head and set a second time the smile of circumstance, but tinged with sincere gratitude.  He didn’t even think he could deny it. To say that he wasn’t there for Jackson, or that maybe it was just curious given the way he disappeared and well. It was normal to worry for a person who was known at least to exist that had apparently dissolved into thin air. Right? 
He lightly punched his thigh without his colleague being able to see him, keeping his smile, determined to leave and come back later.
 
(Or waiting at his desk whether or not if he would’ve been able to catch a glimpse of the other out of the corner of his eye, like the first and last time he caught up with him.)
 “Well then-” “I guess you didn’t text him, after all.”  
The courtesy expression completely disappeared from the omega’s face, replaced by a confused “What do you mean?”
 
Yugyeom shrugged "Since you didn’t know Jackson-hyung was back and Bamie asked me to give you his number a few days ago, I assume you haven’t used it yet.”
 Jinyoung felt his cheeks boil, as if he had been caught red-handed hesitating worse than a teenager. He repressed the need to silence the boy by jumping on his neck when he saw his expression change and turn pale, horrified. “Unless Jackson-hyung has kept quiet on purpose to surprise you…” and then, almost scared, “Please, if so, don’t tell him I told you! Pretend you didn’t know!” 
The older one didn’t have time to deny or confirm anything when the too tall alpha darted past him, hands folded in the air as he blathered about excuses and consequences to avoid if he screwed up who knows what.
 However, it was good for Jinyoung, who had gone from a peak of contentment - which he could not repress in any way - to another of exhaustion. He now understood why BamBam and Yugyeom were such friends. He didn’t dare imagine what those two pests might have been confabulating behind his back, or what they said to each other about the matter. The point now was another, though. Jackson was back. For real. Jinyoung found himself smiling against his control, not even trying so hard not to. He bit her lower lip, ran his hand through the black hair to push the two side fringes away from his eyes in a both slightly nervous and shy gesture, as if the other was already there in front of him. And, if possible, the smile widened at the thought that Jackson was the kind of person to make surprise, because if Yugyeom had such a doubt about it, it must be something the older alpha was used to. It wasn’t their case, Jinyoung really didn’t know about his return – because he didn’t text him. If he had, would Jackson have told him or not? 
The only sure thing was that Jackson’s smell was there, revived and almost palpable, to the point that he felt caressed and unconsciously brought his hands to his face. He left them there for a few seconds, the skin warm under his palms. Finally he slapped them lightly on them to wake himself up.
 
It wasn’t like him to behave like that, so he decided to retrace his steps and get to work. This time with the concrete promise of being the one to show up at Jackson’s desk if he hadn’t done it first.
       
The grunt that escaped him once he closed the last file startled the colleague in the adjacent desk, who hurriedly grabbed her lunch bag and moved away even faster from him, who seemed to emit a gloomy aura of tiredness and intolerance.
 The day hadn’t been particularly demanding in terms of quantity but some paperwork and documentation that had been sent to him by customers had been filled in incompletely or completely incorrectly, forcing Jinyoung to spend most of the morning on the phone with the aforementioned customers and with colleagues from other departments to solve the problem. In the end he too had managed to resolve each of those quibbles. The headache of which he had found himself the victim, however, he would have preferred not to count it, feeling his temples trying to crush him like tireless hammers.  
He slumped back in his swivel chair almost in anger, releasing a deep, annoyed breath, the pain so strong that it drowned out everything else. He closed his eyes and started to bring his fingers to the temples to massage them, pondering whether to eat or not to be able to take an aspirin and continue with the afternoon shift as painlessly as possible.
 
The refreshing, healing sensation that came wasn’t from his fingertips, though.
 
The smell of incense tickled his nostrils.
 “I’m away for a week and I find you completely beaten, Jinyoung-ah?”  
Jinyoung’s eyes widened – regretting it a second later, mostly for the sudden movement that only intensified the pangs in his head – and rolled over in his chair as fast as he could.
 Jackson’s smile was as radiant and soothing as a sip of hot tea in the dead of winter, enveloping and comforting. Jinyoung found kindness in it and something he didn’t know how to categorize, or maybe he didn’t have the courage to investigate because it resembled the meaning of affection, a softened shadow that hovered in the warm brown of the other’s large eyes.  
He looked so ridiculously pleased to see him. For real.
 “Hello, Jinyoung.”  
Jinyoung was smiling too, he felt it in the silly way the skin on his cheeks pulled, sure the wrinkles on the sides of his eyes had appeared as well.
 “Hi, Jackson.”  
They stood in silence looking at each other, their pursed lips threatening to burst into laughter that had no reason to be there, yet they felt it was like that, close to revealing itself.
 
They were both ridiculous, apparently.
 
It was Jackson who spoke again, pointing to Jinyoung’s forehead, which was still frowning with a headache, almost concerned “Did they

really

beat you up today?”
 
The omega would have rolled his eyes if even that simple gesture hadn’t hurt him “Forget it, I don’t want to go near this specific topic again until I change my client.”
 
Jackson gave him a sympathetic look, then pointed to Jinyoung’s temples “May I?”
 It took Jinyoung a moment to understand what he was suggesting and a part of himself was screaming at him to deny, to reject that intention, that it was too much and it was absolutely not right, but it was a part that was far too silent compared to the growing uneasiness and to the beneficial perspective that was being offered to him.  Jackson was in front of him, standing, waiting. Jinyoung had already spread his legs a little to make room for him to get closer.  
He nodded softly and sighed in relief when, again, Jackson’s fingers were on him, massaging slow and soft in circular motions.
 Jinyoung closed his eyes very naturally. Not even he noticed the silence in which they had fallen again, broken every now and then by very low moans that escaped him under the gentle touch of the other. 
Likewise Jackson said nothing, occasionally making thoughtful sounds, low as well, as if he were thinking about something.
 
Without interrupting the massage, the alpha asked him “Why didn’t you text me?”
 Perhaps it was because of the uncertain tone, as if he had hesitated before making the question, but when he slowly reopened his eyes and, raising them, met his, Jinyoung felt the urge to wrap is arms around the man’s torso and squeeze him.  He did none of that, of course. He just gave him a questioning look, tilting his head a little but not enough to break the contact between them.  
Jackson gulped loudly, focusing his attention on an unknown point of the omega’s forehead “Yugyeom told me that you asked him for my number a few days ago.”
 
And here Jinyoung, besides a surge of vengeance towards the younger one and of shame towards himself, perceived the taint of a renewed smile in Jackson’s words, feeling his own heart beating at the thought of how the other was apparently

content

about it, against all Jinyoung’s negative prediction.
 “But you never texted me. I wanted to know why. If there is a why. I mean, you didn’t have to do it but I was amazed to know that you had asked for my number and then you hadn’t texted me. Or did you do it and I got nothing? In that case-” “Jackson” Jinyoung stopped him, grabbing his wrists when the movements on the temples had started to press too fast together with the words of the alpha, who immediately gave him a mortified and apologetic expression and resumed massaging with the rhythm of before.  
The younger leaned on that pause, partly also because the tiredness and those kind cares were almost putting him to sleep.
 
Almost, because Jinyoung’s verbal filter decided to connect with the wrong cable.
 “Technically BamBam asked him, I wasn’t going to.”  He realized he had said something absolutely stupid when he felt the movements stop and the other stiffen for an instant, and then resumed an attempt at dissimulation but with more obvious hesitation. Making matters worse was the unconvincing high-pitched, nervous laugh Jackson gave him, and before Jinyoung could even say anything to repair the damage to his big mouth he said “Ah, silly me. I thought you missed me.” The playful intention missed its mark; the disappointment was clear in every word, though Jinyoung struggled to understand why, after such a short time, a person like Jackson would feel this way about someone like… like him. What most struck Jinyoung, when he opened his eyes to peek at the other’s expression, was to find a dull smile and half-closed eyes, Jackson’s forehead slightly furrowed, as if he was trying hard not to show the exact opposite; even if he visually managed to betray that impression, the intense burning smell did not escape the omega, who felt every hint of discontent in it.  Jinyoung wanted to slap himself. Maybe hit both of them because that whole situation didn’t make any sense, not to him at least. However, he put everything else aside, priority another.  
He looked down, sure his ears were reddening and from that view Jackson could see him clearly but he tried not to think about it.
 
Biting his lip and speaking in a whisper, he admitted “A little.”

You’re such a liar

repeated the voice inside himself.
 
Jinyoung agreed with it but it wasn’t the time to let it win.
 
Jackson’s scent hit the sweetest notes again, the startled gasp was evident and if Jinyoung had the courage to look at him right then he would have caught the brightest gaze, as well as his smile, that he had ever seen in his life.
Until that moment.
 
He didn’t see it, but somehow he was still aware of it thanks to his sense of smell, pampered by the scent that smelled good, of happiness.
 “Me too” Jackson replied after a while, his voice incredibly deep and warm “Perhaps more than would be normal, given the little we’ve been together. But that’s how I feel.” And to Jinyoung and his crazy heartbeat that seemed to be enough to give in completely, leaning his forehead on Jackson’s tummy, who hadn’t stopped for a second with the rotational movements. He closed his eyes and even in the background chaos of the office all Jinyoung could hear for the next few minutes was Jackson’s soothing voice, the understated giggles that occasionally escaped him when he poked at Jinyoung’s cheek asking if he was asleep. He even sang him a lullaby which Jinyoung knew was for good-naturedly teasing him, yet he couldn’t help but think how beautiful and warm Jackson’s voice sounded when he sang.       “I think we can forget about lunch for today.” “I’m sorry.” “I’m not. Feel better?” Jinyoung nodded weakly, swaying a little in his chair; Jackson gave him a halfhearted look “I do not think so.” “It’s just a headache, nothing that won’t go away with an aspirin and a good night’s sleep.” The alpha still didn’t seem convinced by the answer, but he didn’t insist further. Instead, trying to sound casual but not too much, he added “Then let me know later, when you get home.” The omega took a moment to register the meaning of that request. Text me tonight. “If you like, of course.” Jinyoung hated the renewed uncertainty in those words. Although with his admission the air had once again become relaxed and of pure ease between them, he knew that his words earlier, the way he had phrased the sentence, were weighing on the other’s mood, that they were cyclically recurring like a negative reminder – and he knew it because Jackson’s smell was rickety, a courseless boat at the mercy of waves that tossed him from side to side taking him nowhere. Ignoring the twinges in his head, Jinyoung sat up and took Jackson’s hand, drawing his surprised gaze first to their joined hands and then to Jinyoung’s eyes. That look was enough for him to find the courage. “What I said earlier about the phone number, it came out wrong but I didn’t mean it that way.” “It’s okay Jinyoung, you don’t have to justify yourself-” “No, that’s not an excuse. It is true that I got your number because BamBam had the initiative and asked Yugyeom for it,” even if I asked him to “and it is also true that I would never have asked him otherwise. But not because I didn’t want to have your number, it’s just that…” He stopped and looked away, suddenly feeling unable to hold Jackson’s attentive gaze any longer, who seemed to drink every word. “It’s just that, what?” A slight tug on the hand brought him back to look at him and this time he read understanding, patience and a thin veil of anxiety in the alpha’s full irises. But Jinyoung didn’t feel pressured, it wasn’t a force that made him turn away again, although the embarrassment of his own motivation and increasingly frequent lack of guts when the other man was in the middle were hard to swallow or ignore. “I… wasn’t sure you would’ve liked to know that I had asked for your number without your permission and… contact you accordingly.” I wasn’t sure you’d like to talk with me again. A variety of emotions raced across Jackson’s face, from complete confusion to a sort of disbelief at what Jinyoung had painstakingly admitted. However, he was kind enough to grace Jinyoung with a much softer look, even if his expression was still hard to read. “Jinyoung… I thought I made myself clear the other day at lunch.” It was the omega’s turn to look at him doubtfully, not understanding what he meant. Jackson sighed, wrapping Jinyoung’s hand he’d held earlier in both his hands, instilling in them all his warmth. Any hint of a headache, again, seemed to disappear under the sweetness of the smell the alpha was emitting. “When I told you that I would like to go to lunch with you again,” he said firmly, then his cheeks colored slightly under Jinyoung’s amazed gaze at having managed to catch the birth of that detail “that I would like to have dates with you.” This time it was Jackson who witnessed the younger one’s face turn pink, hinting at a shy half-grin when he continued “I really meant it. So if that’s what you want too, you don’t have to hesitate with me. Or think it bothers me. What? That you want to talk to me, hear me on the phone? See me? That’s exactly what I want.” Jinyoung was sure that he had taken on a different color by now, totally; that a drum had completely replaced his heart because he could hear nothing in his ears but loud percussions that made him vibrate from top to toe. Jackson smiled again, more confident this time, and Jinyoung knew he was in real trouble. “Have I made the point this time?” The omega nodded, leaving his lips free to curve upward as much as they wanted. “So what is your answer?” Jinyoung captured every inch of Jackson’s expression. “It’s the same for me. For every single word you said.” Jackson looked him straight in the eye, adoration alive as he watched.       The lunch break seemed to have lasted much less than last time; Jinyoung knew that with a sinking heart as he watched Jackson walk away from his desk, hand held high and waving in greeting before disappearing over the corridor wall, heading to his own department. Jinyoung stared at that point until the other colleagues began to return, then he finally decided to sit back at his desk, far from ready to get back to work but feeling less exhausted than the previous hour. Even the colleague who had previously slipped away in great haste had returned, settling down in his position. She cautiously looked at him, noticing his thoughtful and lost in the void look, finally asked him “Everything okay, Jinyoung-ssi?” The man turned to her, smiled warmly and nodded. The phone in the abandoned hands on his lap, a little trembling. 
Jinyoung 3:13:14 PM
 
I forgot to give you my number.
 He closed his eyes, leaned his head against the back of the chair and then opened them again when the vibration signaled the received response. 
Jackson 3:13:25 PM
 Yah! We’ve been talking about it for half an hour and you’re only thinking about it now??? Jinyoung had to forcefully bite his lip – which at this rate would become more than chapped before the end of the day – to hold back the smile that seemed to want to explode outside. Before he could reply, the phone vibrated a second time. Jinyoung stopped holding back. 
Jackson 3:13:38 PM
 
So Jinyoung-ah, will you go on a date with me?