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---Nan Xing is home alone and having a lazy Saturday morning.Mao Xiaojun and Auntie An seem to be away, so she can’t just go across the hall to their flat for entertainment, and, of course, Dad is at work.It’s not a huge problem being home alone, it’s just unusual to not be with her neighbours on the days that Dad has work when they clash with the days that Nan Xing doesn’t have school.But, because it’s now this particular weekend, the countdown calendar covered in sparkly stickers on her wall reminds her that it also means the latest novel she’s been waiting for all year will have finally been published, posted, and sent to her building. Nan Xing stops lounging on her bed and rushes to collect the post from the entrance to the block of flats.Returning to her flat, Nan Xing carefully removes the packaging and dives into the new story.In a surprising and delightful turn of events, Su Yu, the novel series’ main heroine and Nan Xing’s favourite character of all time, comes out as a trans woman to Ma Leng, and therefore also to the readership at large.As soon as Nan Xing has devoured the novel and had about an hour to let the story digest and all the emotions it provoked settle down a little bit, Nan Xing scrolls through Weibo and checks the hotsearch for other readers’ reactions.Did everyone feel so comforted by the possibility that Su Yu, the best female character Nan Xing has ever read, could come out as trans, revealing that she used to be considered a boy but has thought of herself as a woman since her teenage years, to her long term best friend and romantic partner?Did everyone feel such a rise of hope that it was possible to share this? To come out? To tell someone else and not keep it hidden?!Nan Xing has a long history of taking courage from Su Yu and her ability to solve any case, no matter how difficult or confusing it might seem at first. Su Yu got her through her first ever set of exams. Su Yu got her through times when she felt small and alone. Su Yu got her through times when she’d wanted to hide.And now, Su Yu is helping her feel like it’s possible to be seen, and accepted, and loved.Su Yu is the best fictional character possibly ever; she is so good at having conversations with witnesses to crimes, with reporters, and of course, sharing her heart and her deepest emotions with her partner (and in later novels, boyfriend), Ma Leng.The doorbell rings. Nan Xing gets up to go answer it. Dad probably forgot his keys again and needs her to let him in.As Nan Xing opens the door, it becomes apparent that this has not been the case.“Nan Cheng, you’re here, is your father-?” Auntie An shakes her head. “No, of course, he’ll still be at work. Would you like to have dinner at ours again until he comes back?”Auntie An is very nice, but Auntie An is unfortunately a terrible cook. She might claim she’s following Michelin Star recipes, but her results are only ever fit for choking on, causing her guests to be sick, or being thrown directly into the bin.Mao Xiaojun likes her food, though. And he lives in Auntie An’s flat. Because he’s Auntie An’s son. And if Auntie An is back from wherever they went earlier, then probably Mao Xiaojun is, too!“Yes! Thanks Auntie An, I’ll be right there!” Nan Xing hurries out, closing the door to hide her face and its inevitable blushing from the thoughts of her best friend. He’s more than that, but if Nan Xing has learned anything from Su Yu she’s learned that it takes a long long time for a boy best friend to recognise that they’re hanging out with someone who likes them.Mao Xiaojun is a bit of a goofy idiot sometimes, but his heart has always been in the right place. He’s been in the flat across the hall and Nan Xing’s confidante in almost everything since they were seven year old boys playing soccer together.They’re seventeen now, and playing soccer outside became playing Fifa on his Xbox, and Nan Xing is no longer a boy.Su Yu was able to tell Ma Leng that she’s not always been perceived as a woman, so Nan Xing can tell Mao Xiaojun that she doesn’t want to be perceived as a boy anymore.She’s hoping that telling him first will give her the added confidence boost to tell Dad, and Auntie An, who she’s pretty sure is going to become her step-mother one day if Dad ever realises why Auntie An is being so sweet to him and that not every neighbour is so kind and considerate.Dad’s got to work that out on his own, though.Maybe coming out to Dad will help Dad and Auntie An to progress from unofficial dinners and accidentally spending time with each other, and into going on dates? Maybe Auntie An will confide in Nan Xing more about feelings and such and invite her into the kinds of conversations that girls get to have? Maybe Auntie An will help her with the teenage girl stuff that Dad doesn’t know enough about to get useful answers from Nan Xing’s subtle ‘hypothetical’ questions?Nan Xing gets her trainers on, grabs her keys so that her and Dad don’t both get locked out this time, and runs across the hall to go hang out with Mao Xiaojun.He’s doodling something in a notebook that he hastily puts away under a pillow when Auntie An shows Nan Xing into his room.“What’s that?” Nan Xing asks.He presses a button on his Xbox controller and the large screen shows that he was in the middle of a match – Liverpool vs Man City. “Nothing,” he says, tossing the other controller to Nan Xing as she sits on the bean bag next to his.She watches him quit the game and start a two-player match, beats him with a trick to get around the goalie that he’d shown off to her the last time she was around, and enjoys the sense of smugness that comes with seeing whatever mixture of expressions is on his face. There’s pride in there somewhere. Nan Xing turns off the console.“Hey! I was going to beat you on a rematch!”“Possibly,” Nan Xing says, “but there’s something else I want to do, to talk about.”“Oh, what?”Nan Xing can’t say it just like that. Can’t even start a conversation just like that. It took all her energy poured into playing Fifa to even get her to win the match and have the confidence to then stop the match. Su Yu would handle this really well. Su Yu would know what to say. Nan Xing tries to channel Su Yu.Why does Su Yu always know how best to say everything?Because Su Yu is written by the greatest author in the world, Lu Zichen, Nan Xing’s idol.Not helpful.Why else?Because Su Yu talks to Ma Leng.Nan Xing takes a deep breath, watches her goofy idiot best friend dangle his gangly legs over the side of his beanbag until he can poke her with his foot.“Go on, Nan Cheng, we’re mates, you don’t have to look so-”“-Nan Xing .”He blinks. “What?”“Nan Xing, I-” Nan Xing summons more courage: she is confident in who she is and she is confident in who she is talking to and these are the reasons Su Yu is so good at talking in the novels, so Nan Xing can be good at talking in real life. “I want you to call me Nan Xing from now on. Please.”“Oh, yeah, sure, Nan Xing.” Her name sounds so lovely coming from his mouth, so right. “I like that, it’s pretty.”“You’re not-?”“Nan Xing, you made me watch enough idol dramas to know what a girl’s name is when I hear it. I might be your goofy best friend, but I’m not dumb. Are you happy?”“Yeah. Yeah, I’m- I’m really ha- Oh fuck, I might cry!”“Aiya, see, now you’re the dumb one,” Mao Xiaojun says gently. “You could have told me sooner, you know.”Nan Xing elbows him. “I know, I just-”He folds her into a warm hug. “It’ll go fine. Really well, in fact. Auntie An always wanted a daughter!”“She’s not my-!”He raises an eyebrow. Nan Xing stops protesting. They both know their respective parents are clueless idiots who will one day figure out that they’ve been accidentally flirting with each other for at least five years.“And have you… Have you always wanted a sister?”He shrugs, in that careless way that shows he’s being anything but careless. “If that’s what you want to be.”There have been too many emotions already going on, and she’s not even tried whatever spicy nightmares Auntie An is creating in the kitchen yet! They can pretend to be friends who might be like siblings for a bit longer, Nan Xing can address this again later, she can be like Su Yu when Su Yu talks to the reporters and only talk about the things she’s prepared to talk about for the moment.“Can you handle your sister beating you at Fifa?”Mao Xiaojun laughs. “You’re not going to win this time!”Nan Xing does, in fact, beat him in the next match, though she suspects he might have played slightly less intensely than he normally does, to give her a confidence boost.She still gloats, though.“Alright,” Mao Xiaojun says with a smile as he reaches under his pillow. “You showed me yours, I better’d show you mine.”He gives Nan Xing the notebook he’d been doodling inside as she’d entered his room. As Nan Xing opens it, an envelope falls onto her lap. “What-?”“-Was going to save it until after you’ve told Mom and Uncle Nan, but, well, um, you know. We’re mates, yeah, but I don’t want you to be my sister who beats me at Fifa, not that I mind losing in Fifa, but I don’t want to be your brother. And also, I, um, care about you, and I wanted you to know it’s totally okay if you ever want to stop beating me at Fifa and play some girly games or whatever.”“But, you prepared this before I- You hid this earlier, before I-?” Nan Xing stops as Mao Xiaojun’s confidence visibly increases.“I read the new Su Yu novel before you had even woken up this morning, Miss, ‘I’ll meet you at 10am and then she turns up at 12noon!’ Do you think I don’t know you? Nan Xing- Oh, wait, I need to write your name in it before you open it! Gimme!”Blinking tears away, Nan Xing chuckles as he snatches the envelope from her and pretends to be all secretive as he writes her name in a card he made for her.“Here you go,” he says from the desk as he passes the folded envelope back to her. “All yours!”Nan Xing opens the envelope.It’s a cute pink card with flowers and stars and a proud teddy bear speaking some sparkly lettering that declares ‘Congrats on your girl!’ like for a new baby, but Mao Xiaojun has edited with a biro pen to make it instead say ‘Congrats on your girlhood!’ and he’s drawn a cute little smiley face there too, and oh, it’s so nice.Even before Nan Xing has opened the card to read the contents, she’s smiling like a giddy fool.Mao Xiaojun points his finger to the teddy bear. “I think he looks like me.”Nan Xing swats his hand away so she can open the card and read its contents.He’s the best, best, best friend ever. The sweetest, silliest, kindest, goofiest, most wonderful person.Nan Xing smiles up at him as she finishes reading his heartfelt words meant just for her. “Thank you, Mao Xiaojun.”He sits beside her. “Is that a ‘yes’, Nan Xing? Will you be my girlfriend?”Nan Xing leans forward and quickly presses her lips onto his for their first kiss.As she’s pulling away and enjoying the shiny hint of tears in Mao Xiaojun’s eyes and the proof that this means as much to him as it does to her, Auntie An interrupts by calling, “Kids, dinner’s ready!”Nan Xing gets up, automatically, to obey Auntie An’s call. Mao Xiaojun’s hand finds hers and pulls her back onto the beanbag for their second kiss.“Kids, I mean it, this dish will taste best while piping hot according to the recipe, don’t make me come in there and mess up your Fifa game!”Nan Xing stops kissing Mao Xiaojun as she erupts into a mess of giggles. “We’d better go get dinner, don’t want Auntie An to just burst into your room.”Mao Xiaojun rolls his eyes and yells, “Mom! I’m busy!”That won’t work and everyone in the flat knows it. Nan Xing pulls him up to standing, still giggling.He prods her shoulder. “You need to stop giggling or Mom will suss what’s up in an instant.”“Would it be that bad if she knew?”“No, of course not, but I think you wanted the focus to be on something else this evening, right, Nan Xing?”“Oh, yeah.”“How do you want to tell them, and how can I help?”---By the time Dad comes knocking on Auntie An’s door to ask to borrow her spare keys to get into his own flat again, Nan Xing has survived eating two dishes that both had no reason to be that intensely spicy and yet absent of all other flavour. Her mouth is so burned; she might as well be one of the pieces of blackened meat Auntie An has just served up for the third dish.At least it’s easier to put thoughts of kissing Mao Xiaojun out of her head when her sore mouth feels like even her own tongue’s presence inside it is too much stimulation.“Nan Cheng,” Dad asks. “You’re here?”Nan Xing greets him with a nod of her head as Auntie An answers for her, “Of course, who else is going to feed your kid while you work yourself silly. Really, Nan Tian, you must be starving.”“He’s starving for something alright,” Mao Xiaojun says only just loud enough for Nan Xing to hear.She elbows him. He pouts at her.All thoughts of kissing Mao Xiaojun are not, in fact, gone from her head.“I’m starving, too,” he says, continuing to pout.Nan Xing scoffs. “You can wait your turn. Important things, first.”“I’m not important?!” Mao Xiaojun proclaims, faking outrage.Auntie An must have heard. “Of course, boys, you’re both important, I hope you’re enjoying the third course. There’s five total, something told me tonight would be an auspicious one for us all...”If Nan Xing comes out as trans now and it goes badly, then she can at least see a silver lining of getting to escape the remaining two courses of disaster that shouldn’t even be called food.It’s unlikely to go badly, though. Auntie An is nice. Dad is tired from a long day of work, but when is he not? Mao Xiaojun is holding her hand secretly underneath the table, and 100% supporting her, and she has Su Yu’s example she can follow.She’s ready.“Um, actually, Auntie An, I’d prefer if you didn’t call us ‘boys’.”Auntie An stops fussing with removing Dad’s jacket and brings them both to sit down opposite Nan Xing and Mao Xiaojun. She smiles, nicely.Auntie An is so nice. Auntie An will make an excellent step-mother. Nothing like the evil one in Tangled that she and Mao Xiaojun had watched a couple of years ago back when Disney movies were just obvious things that kids like watching and no one at school challenged anyone’s interest in Disney princesses. Mao Xiaojun is sort of like Flynn Rider, Eugene, a charming sweetheart with very kissable lips...“Oh?” Auntie An asks as she passes Dad a dish and then gives Nan Xing her full attention. “Of course, Nan Cheng, if you want to be considered ‘men’ now, that’s perfectly fine, you’re teenagers after all, you’re growing up, you’ll be moving out goodness knows when and then your father and I will be all alone in our flats with no one to cook for!”“You can cook for me, An,” Dad says between hastily gulped mouthfuls.Their clueless interactions are cute, but not the focus of this conversation.Nan Xing brings the attention back to herself. “No, actually, I mean, what I want to say is, Dad, Auntie An, I-” Mao Xiaojun squeezes her hand under the table. “I’m a girl. I want you to call me a girl, I want you to treat me like a girl, I want you to accept me as a girl, a daughter, and- And my name is Nan Xing.”There’s a few moments of silence that feel like eternity as her heartbeat thuds in her ears, the adrenaline rush of saying it and the release of having it said. But the worry over how they will respond recedes.Mao Xiaojun is still holding her hand. Dad has stopped eating, but he’s not frowning. Auntie An simply looks thoughtful.No one has said anything, though. Nan Xing looks to Mao Xiaojun by her side for help.“I think it’s a very pretty name and suits her very well,” Mao Xiaojun says. “Nan Xing is indeed as lovely as the stars.”Nan Xing winces as Auntie An’s eyes zero in on how closely she and Mao Xiaojun are sitting together.“Mao Xiaojun!” Nan Xing hisses at him. “Maybe not that kind of help!”“But it’s true,” he says to her before directing more words to the adults opposite them, “Will one of you two say something? Nan Xing and I are feeling a bit uncomfortable in all this silence.”Dad speaks first. “Nan Xing?” he asks, like he’s checking he’s got the pronunciation correct.“Yes, Dad?” Nan Xing says, relaxing further at the light in his eyes.“Did you do your homework before you came over here?”Nan Xing laughs. “Dad, it’s the weekend, I don’t have any homework, you told me to finish it last night!”“Oh. Um, okay, good. Well done.”“What your father is trying to say,” Auntie An says gently encouraging Dad to nod along with her, “I think, Nan Xing, is that we’re both very pleased you felt comfortable enough to tell us this and while it’s a little bit of a surprise and might take some getting used to, it’s also clearly not a surprise to you, nor to Mao Xiaojun, so I’m very happy that you’re happy and this is wonderful news!”“Thanks, Auntie An,” Nan Xing says, relief and delight both very present in her heart at this response and their obvious acceptance.Any fears of it going wrong feel a bit silly now. Of course coming out to her parents couldn’t have gone wrong – they love her and they’re decent human beings with an understanding of the world around them and a very core acceptance of who she is and they’ve always been this supportive of her.Suddenly, Nan Xing feels awkward from all the attention. She casts her eyes over the assortment of food that she doesn’t really want to eat. “Um, what do we do now?”“Now we celebrate!” Mao Xiaojun announces, as he leaps from his chair and runs to the kitchen, grabbing Auntie An on the way and dragging her with him.“I like the name Nan Xing,” Dad says quietly and smiling while it’s just them at the table. He looks over at the two in the kitchen. “Good choice, my girl.”Whether he’s talking about her choice of name or about her choice to kiss Mao Xiaojun isn’t entirely clear – How would Dad even know? Dad is clueless about these things! Dad has been unaware Auntie An has been flirting with him for five years! Can Dad see it on her face? Do people who have kissed other people look differently to people who’ve never kissed? – but Nan Xing takes the win.Dad recognises that she’s a girl and he likes her name and he still considers her as herself and as his family. It’s already a beautiful evening.The evening gets even more beautiful as Mao Xiaojun returns from the kitchen, carrying a cake with candles lit, and singing ‘Happy Birthday’ but changing the words from ‘birthday’ to ‘coming out day’ and gleefully smashing together the extra syllables.Nan Xing’s happiness is so much, she could explode into confetti and decorate the room in celebratory abundance.---After dinner has been discarded in favour of finishing the entire cake between the four of them, Dad and Auntie An sneak off somewhere not-at-all-suspiciously to chat ‘grown-up things’. That phrase might have worked when Nan Xing was twelve years old and had zero interest in why Dad and Auntie An interacted, but she’s seen a lot more romantic movies since then.There’s a romantic movie on the telly now, as she’s cuddling with Mao Xiaojun on the couch. However, neither of them are watching the movie.Nan Xing pulls away from another kiss, delighted at long-having lost count, and says, “You know, if they’re talking about me…”“...Then they’ll be bickering about who gets first dibs on looking after you for the rest of your life,” he completes her sentence. “And I am very pleased to inform you that I will be the one to enjoy that pleasure!”Nan Xing laughs. “Idiot,” she says, not at all harshly. “I wasn’t meaning that, I mean… If they’re doing what we’re doing…” she looks down at their joined hands.“Oh, I have decided we get first dibs on this, too.”“But they’re grown-ups, what if they make us have to be like- Ew! Like sibl-?”Mao Xiaojun presses a finger to her lips. “Do not say that. It won’t happen.”His finger is soft and obedient as she pushes it away from her lips to ask, “What power do you have to prevent it, goofball?”“The power of love!”Nan Xing kisses him again at that. What other response can she give?“Oh, so I see it’s been a Very Auspicious evening for everyone!” Auntie An declares while laughing as she enters the living room and puts an unexpected stop to Nan Xing’s further exploration of Mao Xiaojun’s mouth.Mao Xiaojun raises an eyebrow. “ Everyone , Mom?”“Oh, well, if you’re just going to make-out on the couch, there’s no point in us hiding it any more for your sakes, is there?!”“You were hiding?!” Nan Xing squeals, pointing her hand, still joined with Mao Xiaojun’s, between Auntie An and Dad walking into the room, also holding hands. “We thought you were clueless!”“My dear son is clearly so very devoted to you, Nan Xing, that he was able to notice much more about you than his own dear Mama.”“Moooom,” Mao Xiaojun complains at Auntie An’s familiar motherly tone.“And, further,” Auntie An says, a gleam of mischief in her eye, “he will be able to use this devotion of his to accompany Nan Xing and I to the shopping centre next weekend and give us both compliments on the dresses we select!”“Hm?” Nan Xing asks, as she registers that Auntie An isn’t just teasing Mao Xiaojun and is actually saying something very important. “Dresses?! I’m going to get dresses?!”“Well, my dear Nan Xing, only if you want them of course, but I thought-”“-I want them! Oh, Auntie An, thank you!”“I accept these terms,” Mao Xiaojun says, pretending to be serious while smiling so stupidly handsome. “It will be my honour to accompany my girlfriend to find her some pretty dresses.”Nan Xing could fly!“Go on, An,” Dad prompts. “You might as well tell them the other reason you want to go dress shopping.”Auntie An waves her hand close to Nan Xing’s eyes and something sparkly is there and-“Oh my god!” Nan Xing squeals, grabbing Auntie An’s hand to look closely at the ring. “You’re engaged!”“Well,” Dad says calmly, “we’re not 100% engaged until we have permission from both of you, but if you’ll agree-”“-Yes! Yes!” Nan Xing agrees wholeheartedly – she’s going to have Auntie An as her step-mother and she won’t have to wait another five years for that joy! “Congratulations Auntie An! Congratulations Dad!”“Thank you.” Dad bows formally. “As I was saying, if you’ll agree, there will be a wedding and we will all need some suitable clothes to wear. Including, Nan Xing, a bridesmaid dress for you, and a best man’s suit for Mao Xiaojun.”Nan Xing hugs Mao Xiaojun in delight but Mao Xiaojun must make a face at Auntie An over her shoulder.“...Mao Xiaojun?” Auntie An asks. “What’s wrong?”“Mom, can you renounce me from the family?”“Why?”“I don’t want to be Nan Xing’s brother, I want to be her husband!”“You’ll settle for being her boyfriend,” Auntie An replies, sitting down on the couch opposite them and pulling Dad to sit down next to her, too. “And that will do nicely for now, and if you two decide to get more serious then there’s nothing wrong with it from our view.”“You’re not blood-related, you weren’t raised as siblings,” Dad adds.Auntie An smiles as she continues, “Nan Xing can be my step-daughter and my daughter-in-law as well, with no issue from me if things should continue, and your future children won’t-”“-Mooom!”“Oh, sorry,” Auntie An teases, “was I jumping too far ahead, Mr ‘I want to be Nan Xing’s husband’?!”“I’m only seventeen!” Nan Xing says, ignoring them both to make a different, mildly awkward, point more clear. “And, um, thanks for accepting me so much as a girl that you temporarily forgot, but I can’t actually give birth!”“Then you can adopt!”“Mom! I want to talk with Nan Xing about all this myself, later,” Mao Xiaojun protests. “Years and years later. I’m still a kid myself, don’t saddle me with responsibilities of looking after children yet!”Nan Xing laughs. “You think we’ll still be together years and years later? We only started dating today!”“Yeah, but I’ve known you for ten years, Nan Xing, and it’s really hard to think about living a life without making you laugh that I could even barely manage to tolerate.”“You’re going to be such a sweet goofball of a husband one day, aren’t you?” Nan Xing asks, so happy she can’t contain it and strokes his handsome face as she imagines how it will grow even more handsome over the years as he grows into more of a man.Mao Xiaojun nods. “And you’re going to be the loveliest, prettiest, most courageous and adorable wife! And you’ll still be this ticklish, too!”“Mao Xiaojun!” Nan Xing half-heartedly scolds when he stops tickling her waist for long enough to catch her breath.Nan Xing looks around the smiling faces of her family and lets it all properly, properly, sink in.Wow.Mao Xiaojun nudges her shoulder and whispers, “You’re gripping my hand very tightly, girlfriend! You okay?”“It’s possible?” Nan Xing whispers back. “I’m not dreaming? This is how this evening has actually gone?”Mao Xiaojun kisses her – in front of Dad and Auntie An, intentionally! - and pulls away to say, “Yeah. Everyone loves you, Nan Xing.”Auntie An and Dad are trying to be as embarrassing as possible and cheering like they’re at a soccer game, but Nan Xing doesn’t mind being seen.She is accepted. She is loved.---Eventually, she and Dad leave Auntie An’s flat and return to their own, have a sweet little chat about discussing options for transition stuff when they’re both not quite so tired, and then Nan Xing enjoys her first reread of the latest Su Yu novel.As she finishes up her night time routine, Nan Xing thanks Su Yu for all her inspirational help, sends Mao Xiaojun a text goodnight, receives a teddy bear surrounded by hearts sticker and a sleepy emoji in response, and drifts off to sleep, feeling the lightest, happiest, most at peace she might ever have felt in her entire life.---
