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Ronan took it upon himself to seek Adam out when they went days without seeing each other. It was nearing the end of the school year, the end of his senior year. With a nearly full ride to Harvard, Adam took up more shifts to cover the difference, spent more time studying for his AP exams so he would get college credit, and spent less time driving out to the Barns.
It was Thursday night and even though they all had plans to go to Nino's tomorrow evening, Ronan couldn't really take it anymore. He drove out to St. Agnes, parked the BMW next to the Hondayota in the back lot and tried not to race up the stairs to Adam's apartment. It was late, so he let himself in, and sure enough the small room was dark. He could still make out Adam's head peeking up from the covers. Ronan quietly, gently, toed off his boots, dropped his jacket, and made his way over to the twin mattress on the floor and slowly laid down under the covers before Adam woke.
Adam turned his head, blinking slowly, smile widening as he caught Ronan staring. "Hi," he whispered, voice low and deep.
"Hi," Ronan replied, smiling right back.
Adam rubbed his eyes and turned on his side, slipping his arms around Ronan's waist and pulling himself closer. He pressed a kiss to the underside of Ronan's jaw, eyes still half-open. Ronan ducked his head and kissed him, fingertips tracing up and down Adam's spine, making him shiver.
Ronan hummed against Adam's lips as they met over and over, wet and sloppy, inexperienced and exploratory. Breathless, Adam pulled back with a hand on Ronan's chest, cheeks flushed.
"Don't take this the wrong way," he said, smiling again, "but I think I'm going to fall asleep."
Ronan laughed, kissing Adam's cheek. "Kissing is very boring, Parrish, I get it."
"No, I-" Adam had to pause to yawn. "You're so warm and I'm so comfortable, I'm going to fall asleep in about two seconds and-"
Ronan pressed a quick kiss to his lips again. "Sh, I get it, go to sleep."
Adam rubbed his cheek against the pillow, eyes already closing, but his grip on Ronan's waist tightened. "You'll stay?"
Ronan kissed his temple. "I'll stay."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ronan tried not to laugh at seeing how uncomfortable Adam looked, backed into a corner, being chatted up by Tad Carruthers of all people. Tad couldn’t take a hint and after a full year of college being politely let down by Adam countless times, the poor bastard continued to try. He was harmless, just lacking social cues, and could trap you in a conversation for hours. He never actually asked Adam out, but his intentions were clear and his crush only developed further the more they saw one another.
They were in the kitchen of the rowing team’s annual house party, Ronan was just grabbing a soda from the fridge. He lost Gansey about an hour ago and so he was doing his own hiding from Kavinsky, who also couldn’t take a hint, although he had gotten further than Tad with Adam. They had a brief friendly with benefits situation last semester, which ended in Ronan nearly flunking out of college and going to rehab over the summer. Things were less friendly now.
He lingered in the kitchen, trying to assess the situation, to see if Adam needed assistance. Sure enough, Adam caught his eye over Ronan’s shoulder and his expression went from desperate to devious. Ronan watched him smirk, eyes focused on his mouth as he said something to Tad, who turned around and looked at Ronan, confused. Adam continued talking and Ronan felt frozen, pinned by his gaze.
“Yo, Lynch!”
Ronan blinked and approached them, Tad waving him over and Adam’s smirk fell away. “What’s up?”
“Parrish,” ooh so it’s Parrish now. Ronan wondered what Adam had said to him to veto their first-name status. “-was just telling me you guys are dating.”
Record scratch. Blink. Back up. Ronan glanced at Adam, hoping to convey the look of What the fuck, Parrish with his eyes. He assumed this was Adam’s latest and desperate attempt to get Tad off his back, so he’d play along, but they were definitely going to talk about this later.
“Uh, sure,” well, shit that was less convincing.
Tad smiled knowingly, obviously not convinced. “How long?”
Ronan looked at Adam, Adam looked at Ronan. They both said at the same time:
“Few months.”
“Few weeks.”
They looked back at Tad with wary smiles. Ronan’s heart plummeted at seeing Kavinsky enter the kitchen. Fuck.
“There you are, you bastard,” K bellowed, approaching the three of them and wrapping an arm around Ronan’s shoulders, stumbling a bit with his beer. “How’s it going, Carruthers?”
Tad’s smile widened. “Good, K. Did you know,” Ronan shrugged K’s arm from his shoulder, “Lynch and Parrish are a thing?”
Kavinsky laughed, elbowing Ronan, waiting for the punchline. When it didn’t come, he sobered quickly. “What?”
Ronan could see the appeal of this story now.
“Apparently for a few weeks,” Tad said. “Or months? They disagree.”
“The fuck?” K said with a disbelieving laugh. “Damn, who’s gonna tell Dick? He must be beside himself.”
Ronan grabbed Adam’s hand and laced their fingers together. “C’mon,” he started to walk away, tugging him along. Being around K was dangerous, he was adept at baiting Ronan, constantly getting him in trouble. He needed to get out of here.
“Hold on a minute,” K said, stepping in front of him.
“What.”
“Prove it.”
Now it was Adam’s turn to laugh. “What?”
“I don’t fucking believe you,” K said to Adam, flicking Ronan on the temple. “This idiot has more chemistry with Dick Three. I’ve never seen you guys do anything but argue. Now you want me to believe you’re dating? Prove it.”
Ronan rolled his eyes. “We don’t have to prove anything to you, what are we in middle school?”
“Just a little kiss,” K cooed, so close to Ronan he felt like his eyes were going to cross. “A little kiss and we’ll leave you alone.”
“Or I could fucking punch you in the face and then you’ll leave us alone.”
“Ronan,” Adam tugged at his hand. “It’s fine.”
Before Ronan really had a chance to process, Adam stepped forward and pressed his lips to Ronan’s. It was clumsy and at the wrong angle, and more like a quick peck you’d give a distant relative than a paramour. They both stepped back abruptly, blinking stupidly at each other. They were still holding hands. Ronan’s heart raced.
Time seemed to slow as he continued to stare at Adam. All of his interactions with Adam seemed to slot into place, realign and refocus with a new lens. When Adam’s roommate would kick him out and he would sleep in Ronan’s and Gansey’s room, but in Ronan’s bed. When Ronan would bring him hot chocolates and teas from the student bistro on his late night library shifts. On school holidays he would opt to stay with Ronan rather than Gansey, spending weeks running around the Barns laughing, falling asleep under the stars on the roof of the house.
He looked at Adam and Adam was looking at him. As they had been for months.
It was probably the worst kiss of his life, but there was something there. Something… he wanted to try again.
“That was beautiful,” K said sarcastically, wiping a tear from his eye. Tad was laughing along with him. “Beautiful, beautiful, bullshit.”
Ronan stepped forward and cupped Adam’s cheek, tilted his head back and crashed their lips together. The angle was better, the enthusiasm was a bit much. He pushed Adam back against the counter and bit his lower lip. Adam gasped, one hand cupping the back of his head, keeping him close, the other hand tugging at his jacket, pulling him in. The loud music of the party, the chatter between K and Tad, the voices in the hall, everything faded away to a dull hum, all Ronan could focus on was Adam, Adam, Adam.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ronan was still amazed that Adam could sleep through this much chaos. They were on a flight back to Virginia, going to the Barns for the holidays to meet everyone - Declan, Jordan, Hennessy, Matthew, and even Blue, Gansey, and Henry. About ten seconds after they boarded, Adam put his cheek on Ronan’s shoulder and fell asleep. About three hours into the flight, Ronan managed to wedge the hood of his sweatshirt beneath Adam’s head to give him a bit more cushion. He was normally bored out of his mind on flights, knee bouncing up and down, flipping through channels on the grainy television on the back of the seat in front of him, draining the battery on his phone, desperate for some stimulation. But Adam grounded him, he always did, and even just this little contact held him still.
He threaded their fingers together on the arm rest between them, had silently thanked the flight attendants for their whispered questions so as not to disturb Adam, but nothing did. Not the crying baby ten rows back, not the multiple rounds from the flight attendants, not the hour of turbulence or the announcements from the pilot, not even the in cabin lights turning on and the chaos of getting ready to land.
As they descended, Ronan squeezed Adam’s hand, lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed his palm, his wrist, his thumb.
Adam inhaled deeply as he came awake, leaning back and stretching with his eyes closed, but he kept their hands joined, giving Ronan’s a squeeze.
“How much longer?” he mumbled, his thick as honey Henrietta accent always around when he just woke up.
“Ten minutes,” Ronan said, smiling at Adam’s confused expression. “You slept the whole flight.”
“What?” Adam rubbed his temple, squinted down at his watch - the dreamt one that Ronan gifted him all those years ago, which adapted to their new timezone seamlessly. “Are you serious?” he asked, but it sounded more like aryoosrsh when it was sandwiched between a yawn and another stretch.
“Yep,” Ronan said, ruffling the hair on the right side of Adam’s head that was pressed flat from resting on Ronan’s shoulder for six hours. “Good dreams?”
Adam leaned his cheek into Ronan’s palm, eyes closing again as if he were going to fall asleep just like that. He sighed happily, smiled, and nodded. “Yeah, good dreams.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It was an early August morning, the sun peeking over the horizon, the cool morning breeze cutting through the evening heat, the ground wet with dew dotting every blade of grass. Adam was leaning half against the Hondayota and half into Ronan, their arms around each other, chins hooked over shoulders, content to hold on for as long as they had left. Adam was leaving for Harvard.
They originally said they weren't going to say goodbye like this, but Ronan didn't sleep last night and when Adam came down the stairs in the morning and saw him at the kitchen table, he felt the tears begin to well up. He had done a pretty good job keeping them away, until now.
Ronan moved to step back, but Adam clung onto him. "Adam," he said with a laugh, squeezing him tight.
"I know, just," Adam trailed off, closing his eyes. "Just another minute."
Ronan settled back into his arms and hummed. "I don't think this is making it any easier."
"Shut up."
"You're finally fucking doing it," Ronan said, turning his head to press a kiss to Adam's ear. "You worked your ass off and you fucking did it."
"I know," Adam's breath caught and he shut his mouth quickly, looking up at the sky, fighting the tears. He tried again, "I'm coming back."
"I know," Ronan replied firmly. "And you'll let me know when I can come up to see you."
"I will." They stood in silence again, enjoying the sound of the breeze and the animals far off in the barns. Adam tried to commit all of this to memory. The sounds, the smells, the idyllic summer at the Barns. The feeling of his cheek pressed against Ronan's.
"So you really think this piece of shit is going to get you all the way to Harvard?" Ronan managed to kick a foot out at one of the tires.
"Yeah." Adam leaned back and pressed his forehead to Ronan's, closing his eyes.
"You sure you don't want me to drive you?"
Adam kissed him. With their arms still wrapped around each other, kept close, it was just a firm press of lips, a promise, a thank you, a complicated mix of emotions that Adam hadn't even sorted out yet, but that had been bubbling to the surface for months and was about ready to boil over.
They kissed, again and again, meeting over and over between them hoping the actions would convey the bittersweetness of the morning, desperate to share what their words could not. It was clumsy, lips and tongues and teeth, it was more it wasn't enough, it was... wet.
Ronan pulled back, cupping Adam's cheeks, brushing away tears with his thumbs. Adam could see Ronan's tear-filled gaze looking back at him.
"We said no crying," Adam managed with a watery laugh.
"I'm not crying, you're crying."