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It was a decent Fahrenheit temperature in Palm Springs Florida. In the swamps lay many many many alligators swimming. Upon a Floridian house stood Anasui in his stripper outfit because the farenheights were too high per unit of length. His pink hair flowed in the hot mid breeze. His morning routine of undisclosed actions was Rudely interrupted by holy shouting coming from the distance. Confused, he left his legally obtained property and gallivanted around the block in the direction of the shouting.
Suddenly he came upon a corner and looked around it, laying eyes upon the well figured preist, Enrico Pucci. He was spreading the gospel truth to a congregation of alligators, on a fine Floridian morning. "AND THEN THERE WAS LIGHT" screamed the preist Christianly. He then pulled out from under his clerical garments a 1980s laptop. After the laptop had emerged, he began playing a holy tape. "My children, bestow your eyes upon this biblical retelling of Joshua's finest moments, the peak of his life, Joshua and the promised land. I must go attend to my heavenly duties." He said as he walked off towards the nearest holy establishment to serve the Floridian community.
Anasui decided now was his chance to replace his Toyota Corolla which had been absolutely massacred by a severe weather anomaly. He prowled towards the alligators, desperately attempting to not be converted by the biblical imagery upon the computer screen. He grabbed a lock of his fishnet top and yanked off, creating a lassoo. However sadly he now had no shirt, not that he had one to begin with but he was severly unclothed upon his top half. He grabbed the shoe print things and stuck them upon his nipples to avoid arrestestation by the Floridian police due to public indecency. He climbed upon the alligator and tamed it with his lasso and then returned to the road. "Wow what a lovely mode of transportation I have obtained I will now be able to visit Jolyne in the canals of miami as she is there with Jotaro doing marine biology." He headed back to his humblest of abodes, not realising his house was in grave danger.
Pucci skipped along the Floridian streets back to the congregation to see if they had been converted yet. As he arrived he sensed something was terribly wrong, someone had gone against the bible. He immediately knew that someone had been lost from the congregation. He summoned the half horse also known as made in heaven. "Go. Find the missing Christian." He said in a grave priestly voice. The half horse nodded and galloped over to Anasui's promised land. Once it arrived, it acknowledged the presence of the lost congregation attendee and noted Anasui's pink hair. He was the culprit.
Anasui also acknowledged the half horse "wow what an average Ohio pet, what could it be doing outside the beautiful state of Ohio. This is preposterous." Anasui then went to sleep in his Floridian bed however he was again rudely awakened by holy knocking upon his door. He put on his Floridian robes to clothe his body and disembarked upon the banister to get down swiftly. He opened the door to see Pucci's priestly self. Pucci said in a severe voice "You have gone against the 10 commandments and have committed theft. Thou shalt not theft, exodus 20:2:17 - Deuteromomy 5:6-21. You will now face the consequences." He then fucked up gravity stupendously and unequivocally. How would Anasui survive this?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Gravity was incredibly fucked up in many ways. This was not good, Anasui was floating to the ceiling of the humble abode and so was the stolen alligator, the lock of shirt dislodging itself from its neck. "This is terrible and quite severe. Preposterous."
In the opposite house a man was sitting in his house. It was a fine day until he realised his hat hair was being yanked by an unknown force. He rose from his seating position "This can only be the work of my brother Pucci. I sense the Christianity within the air. I must balance the laws of physics by encapsulating newtons 3rd law." He ascended from his establishment across the Floridian lawn and arrived at Anasui's door. "Pucci stop harassing the residents of this fine cul de sac, that's not priestly behaviour." Pucci glared intensely upon Weather Reports unholy hat hair, why was still upon his head. "Absolutely not." Said Pucci. Weather sighed "Goddamn it."
Weather report the stand suddenly appeared and whipped up an almighty tornado. Puccis phone suddenly informed him of the approaching tornado with quite the red alert. Weather then said intensely "Here comes the hurricane bitch, Katrina, Katrina Katrina!" He then galloped into the confines of Anasui's house and shut the door. "Oh no." Said Pucci depressedly. "I must save the congregation. I must protect them. This tornado is not within gods plan." He then unfucked gravity and Anasui abruptly fell to his carpeted floor. It was too late however, nothing could stop the tornado. Weather Report grasped Anasui's strips of clothing and pulled himself closer to his person. "Donde esta your basement fine sir, your house is in terrible danger. I cannot stop Katrina."
For a brief moment Anasui's face reflected the colour of his hair due to the close proximity weather report was within. Anasui grabbed Weather Report's moisturised hands and led him to the almighty American style basement. There lay quite the selection of spam and a beautiful piano sat amongst the spam within the basement which was stripped and unfinished. "Wow what a fine basement. This will certainly protect us from the severe weather anomaly I caused." Said Weather graciously. Anasui grabbed Weather's manly hands. "Thank you for commending my basement but we are not safe enough yet. We must enter the piano it will protect us even more."
Weather acknowledged this fine piece of advice and gracefully climbed into the piano, followed by Anasui who exposed too much as he put his leg over to get into the fine piano. Weather report had seen too much that fine Floridian morning, the morning was no longer fine. Within the piano it was quite cramped, Anasui noted "We must think thin." He announced to Weather. Suddenly an all mighty crash occurred. "It's here." Said Weather gravely. The house was gone, and soon they would be too. The piano was lifted up by the winds and began to soar in the air with the spam circling them. They were chucked 61 miles to the south to Miami. The tornado couldn't reach them there. Suddenly they crashed upon the ground within a ditch and everyone was unharmed including the spam.
"Wow Anasui what a fine piano." Weather acknowledged. "Thank you, I got it from trader Joe's." Replies Anasui. Weathers ocean optics suddenly came into contact with Anasui's magenta orbs, the magenta was quite beautiful this fine Miami afternoon. Then he began to notice how stripperly Anasui appeared in the Miami sunlight. He was quite the man. Anasui began to get up from the piano and as he rose, his spiked hat came into contact with Weather's hat spikes. This was the beginning of love in Miami. Anasui realised he had to say something, this man was too fine to let go. "Weather I have to tell you something I-" Anasui began to say as he looked off to the side shyly when unexpectedly an almighty interruption appeared. It was Emporio.
"Wow you guys are 61 miles away from Palm Springs what are you doing?" Anasui became depressed, he would have to confess at another moment in time. "It was quite the hurricane, the damage may be severe but we are fine and we have many supplies." Weather said pointing to the spam. "We must get home Weather." Anasui remarked. "We can obtain a boat from Walgreens and drive it 61 miles back to Palm Springs." And with that they disembarked towards Walgreens.
Within the shop they witnessed many boats for mighty fine prices but could not decide. They approached the neon green shopkeeper. "One of your finest boats please." Said Emporio. FF grabbed the mosy glorious fishing vessel. As they journeyed towards the great Floridian ocean they came across a severe problem. They did not understand marine biology so the boats motor would not start. Out of the ocean appeared Jotaro. "I am knowledgeable of marine biology I shall free your boat." He said graciously and then star platinum punched the motor and the boat began. "Thank you fine sir" said Anasui. They then disembarked back to the Palm Springs. However everything was not right, there house was no longer standing.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The boat travelled vertically very per mile per bald Eagle per glazed donut. Within a short amount of time, everyone made it back to Palm Springs. As they approached, they saw the destruction path of the tornador that was surprisingly straight unlike them. It was quite the weather anomaly. They gazed upon the lack of neighbourhood as their houses had been demolished. A single brick lay in the Floridian sunlight as Anasui noticed a priestly figure amongst the rubble looking quite well and charitable. Anasui assumed that he was there for reasonable purposes but he was not.
Pucci was sieving through the deconstructed belongings of Anasui. "Father what are you doing surely this against Jesus!" Anasui cried. But Pucci did not care, for he had his reason. "It may be against Jesus, but I do not support him, I support Dio" Pucci sparkled. Anasui would not have this. "Weather help me dispose of this monstrosity." Weather nodded gravely and they approached the holy man. Pucci suddenly grabbed the singular brick and chucked it at Weather Report's ozone layer, severely concussing him and making him lose his memory even more. Emporio gasped at the site and Anasui quickly grabbed Weather's unconscious being. "What are we going to do now, Anasui?" Emporio sobbed as Weather bled all over the rubble. "Don't worry, Weather's hat hair lacked the impact of the brick, thus leaving Weather alive." Pucci took these humble seconds to evacuate the crime scene and get back to the congregation.
Anasui gently lay Weather's muscular structural frame down upon the remnants of the House and whipped out Diver Down. "Emporio.." Anasui began. "Diver Down cannot fix my legally obtained establishment as Pucci stole all the bricks. My Toyota Corolla also ceases to exist." Emporio wiped his salty waters away as he thought of a solution. "We can always take a trip to IKEA, I can help you make a ghost house since your house died." Anasui knew that Weather needed to be awoken as he could not miss the family trip to IKEA so he formulated a plan. Anasui wanted the Disney fantasy so he enacted some questionable acts. He leaned down gracefully and quite literally on Weather Report, Weather's blood smearing on Anasui. Anasui placed his lipstick stained lips upon Weather's plain manly lips as he performed a true loves kiss. Weather suddenly awoke and gazed upon Anasui's cherry blossom optics that were too close for comfort. Weather gasped masculinely, his hat hair trembling in fear and confusion. "Anasui... You saved me?" Anasui smiled magentaly, "no need to thank me, it was my pleasure. Let us go to ikea now."
They embarked upon the family boat and swiftly journeyed through the Floridian swamps. Within a minuscule amount of time they had made it to IKEA. As they entered, they were taken aback by the apparels of Sweden. As they wandered further an employee approached them. It was Hermes. "Would like to purchase some reasonably priced Nordic furniture?" She advertised. Weather nodded but they were not just looking for any furniture, they were looking for a bed. "We need some beds for our new intangible house." Weather said monotonously. Hermes lead them to the bed section "Unfortunately the only bed we have in stock is Espevär." She said, pointing at an almighty double bed. Anasui and Weather exchanged glances, both blushing. Anasui was the first to speak. "I guess we will have to share Weather. Besides, I must tell you something..." Emporio suddenly screeched. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA, WE ARE BEING ATTACKED!" Emporio announced as the furniture surrounding them began to attack.
"We must find the stand user!" Cried Anasui, but it was exceedingly easy to find them. On top of the Espevär stood ABBA. The whole of ABBA. They all spoke simultaneously. "We have been sent by the charitable Pucci to deal with you sinners. You cannot steal a member of the congregation and live." Then the furniture attacked even more. "Omg this is like beauty and the beast! Truly this is the Disney fantasy!" Anasui said as Emporio was engulfed by a cupboard. Weather was weathering the furniture and slapped a table with his leg. Anasui pounced at ABBA, screaming "DIVER DOWN". But he was not enough as despite his attempt he bounced off of ABBA. They were too strong. As Anasui smacked against the Swedish floor, he heard Hermes giving out some great advice. "I work here so I know the values of the Swedes, they dislike republican values, use that against them!" She yelled loudly.
Anasui rose from the ground, grabbing Weather from the vicinity. "Weather we must use republican values to defeat them. We can do this. We are from Florida." He said determinedly. Weather nodded. They began to hurl republican statements at ABBA, "THE SECOND AMENDMENT!" They cried. Suddenly, ABBA began to disintegrate. "SOS" said ABBA. Weather and Anasui continued to spout the words of Donald trump and soon, ABBA was no more and the IKEA had returned to its previous state. Emporio fell out of the cupboard. "Let's get out of here!" He sobbed. Weather came to the realisation that he and Anasui had no money because it got blown away during Katrina. He silently grasped the Espevär and snuck out with it.