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Oh for fucks sake. Was the first thought that ran through Remus’ head when his first eyes glanced over to see Master chatting with that golden bastard of a brother Romulus.Or Quirinus. Doesn’t really matter to him.That damned face was enough to deter him.He had initially wanted to grab Gudako for a chat away from the other Servants but immediately stopped walking towards her when he saw… him.He couldn’t pick up everything they were chatting about, considering he was standing at the corner of the hallway. Presence concealment is a nifty thing when it's burnt into your spirit origin I suppose. Of course, he had to show up now. Can’t keep your hands off everything can you, Romulus? The bitter thought settled his head. At every chance he had, Remus would actively avoid talking, looking, or even thinking of his brother.
Brother.
Even now, as a mere Servant. A fragment of the man that once lived on this Earth. Remus could not acknowledge that… person as his beloved twin.It is believed that for certain Servants that wandered Chaldea, strong grudges carry on even in death. Perhaps even an illness that they were known to have in their tales also carries forward.For Remus, this aching heart was unfortunately something that allowed him to be summoned in the first place. It was a cruel joke for him to be here to begin with.Even now, an ache still filled his chest.His anger towards Romulus for murdering him in cold blood His self-loathing and shame for not being able to defend himself.And perhaps the most damning, his anguish that those he had loved abandoned him for his brother.At times when he was alone, and when his thoughts were idle he often came to a halt to this very question. What was I lacking then that Romulus possessed? They were identical twins born to the same mother and father. Both brothers had been reared and fostered over to the same persons. Both had loved and it returned to those followers who became the first citizens of their beloved city.Same face.Same hands and feet. Same damned attire mind you. (Faustalus did not bother altering the cutting of their robes).But Remus did not understand.Despite everything, Romulus still found a way to shine just a bit brighter next to him.As these thoughts swam inside of Remus’ head, a few words alerted him of his current eavesdropping. How is my brother doing, Master? He stumbled but managed to regain his footing. Remus was shocked. If anything, why would Rome ask about him?He leaned in a little closer to their conversation. I think we’re getting along with the Great Ancestor. It might take a while though since he just got here and everything. Why do you ask? Ah… it is just… we are concerned if he is... To put the matter lightly… behaving. Remus could feel his jaw tensing. He realized over the course of his waiting that he had been gritting his teeth for a good while. Force of habit maybe. But if you were a few steps away from your own murderer and they were your brother… you would be uncomfortable too wouldn’t you? Behaving? Well… I mean he’s been pretty okay. I heard he picked up gaming with Osakabehime and Tomoe. But I guess that’s not the info you wanted. We are aware of this… Nero has reported to us as well. Remus sighed a little internally. Of course, the emperor would let her beloved Rome know. Albeit, he still felt a little disappointed at the news. He had hoped that some of his private affairs would be kept from his brother’s ears but alas. It’s not like any of his beloved “Roman Children” could keep secrets anyways. Then what do you need to know, Romulus? Was that a hint of annoyance in the Master's voice? He couldn’t tell for sure without seeing her face but… it was still surprising. We should properly explain ourselves, I only want to know if Remus has been treating you well. Ah of course. His older brother wanted to know if he was toeing the line. Reminds him of his younger days. Anytime Remus wasn’t completely listening he would get an earful from his brother. Guess being a leader of a few dozen people makes you a nag at some point. But Remus still felt that his brother didn’t need to be so damn… condescending at times.It almost felt like his twin thought that he was incapable of loving their citizens. As though he was some… half-baked product that Mars forgot about. Of course, if you are unwilling to divulge on Remus- I think you should get off your brother’s back Rome. Remus was stunned.Did Magus really… to the founder of Rome? Even his older brother stuttered a little at the interruption. Excuse me? Master huffed in response. Look I don’t know all the details, but I’ve read the stories Romulus. It's going to take a long time before he opens up to anyone. Me included. He needs time… and to adjust to the fact that well… you're here too. There was a long pause. And what seemed like an eternity, Romulus spoke. Master, whilst I respect your opinion I ask because he is still my brother. Despite everything. He said quietly. You must understand… I want to help hi- Then if you understand you should know YOU are the last person he wants to see! Romulus audibly choked a little at this.It was as though he was avoiding the large picture altogether. As though… Rome felt guilty. Master sighed and took Rome’s hands into hers. Listen, I know you have so much to say to him. So much to apologize for. But for this to work… you need to be willing to confront the past at Remus’ pace. In any case, don’t rush things. He has every right to stall talking to you now. But all you need to know is… he is trying. Intently listening, Remus stood there. Frozen in place. In some ways, his Master had conveyed some of his woes to his nosy albeit concerned brother. But there were still headways to make.As much as there was a glimmer of hope they could ever reconcile as servants, there was so much Remus wanted to pour his soul out on. Why was Romulus so intent on ruling alone like this? Didn’t he know he always had his back? Why would he abandon him for such a futile matter in the first place? These feelings crashed into each other like waves on a stormy night.Swirling of regret, remorse, and anger toward his twin. Of concern and longing.He wanted to know. It was burning in his throat.If Romulus was so capable of loving their followers, why was the same love not blessed upon him?Damn it all, he was his twin. His friend whom he had grown to share, laugh, and live with. If he shared their victories, then he too would do the same for his burdens.He had always admired his brother. His charisma and welcoming demeanor had awed the few humans they had encountered in their early years. It was something he had lacked in life, and as a servant now.If only he had been more outwardly then.If only.He had the courage to stand by his brother, and not in his shadow.Remus felt his eyes tear a bit. As much as the anger enveloped his soul, there was a sadness he could never truly face on his own. That despite him blaming his brother for much of what had happened on Palatine hill, his true enemy was his own cowardice.He was so afraid of stepping out of his brother’s shadow.And in that one instance which he did, regarding that shallow hack of a fence Romulus built.It cost his life.Taking a deep breath, he straightened his posture. Waiting on his brother's response. I never meant to push him away from Roma. He heard his twin whisper. So much bitterness has been bred between my beloved brother and I…To shield him from these burdens was all I had ever wanted. I… I do not seek forgiveness from him. As much as my heart desires. Romulus looked into Master’s eyes, and to her surprise-He was crying. I only want him to know, what I did was wrong. Hearing this vulnerability from Romulus, Remus felt his mind-numbing.He couldn’t take it.He didn’t want to listen anymore.The very thought. All this time, Romulus had been looking out for him. And it culminated into-At this instance, he began hastily leaving his hiding spot. Romulu- No, my brother. You do not need to shed tears. To a lesser man like myself. A part of him wanted to let go. To release himself from all of his resentment. To once again embrace his brother in joy and compassion.But the scars were etched permanently onto him.Perhaps, just as Romulus bore the burden of carrying the sins of Rome.He too would never find solace.