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It’s been a while since I booted up my computer to play games, of course there was the occasional Sims 4 streak but those ended rather quickly. I only ever use my computer to work and write books that’ll never get past the editing stage. But today I was forced to play Jackbox with Sean, he said he wanted me to make my first ‘guest appearance’ on his channel - well his channel and 4 others. Sean’s talked about his friends before but I’ve never met them or anything due to distance. Not just distance between his friend but also distance between Sean.
I met Sean in college, he didn’t go to my college - no way in hell, I went to NYU. But I met Sean when I took a trip to Ireland with my class, I’m half Irish and 2nd generation American - so I was extremely excited. I met Sean at a coffee shop in Cork, he had asked me for my number, and we hit it off. We dated for a couple years but called it quits after realizing we’re better off as friends. He recommended I stream with his friends after I moved to LA, wanting me to make new friends even if my best friend Rose lived with me.
Rose was the sweetest, most chaotically beautiful person I’ve ever met. She claims Dolly Parton raised her and has a whole wall dedicated to Monster High Dolls and RoseCity Rollers memorabilia. She keeps her old skates in the center of the shelf as an homage to when she first started - she called me in so much pain from the amount of bruises she had gotten the first day of roller derby practice. The old skates were well worn by now, receiving much love (and beatings) over the past years. She had excerpts from poetry lining the walls around her bed. Rose was perched right over my shoulder, planning to watch the whole stream just so she could listen to Ethan Nestor - she had started crushing on him hard after watching Unnus Annus.
Sean was on facetime with me, helping me set up my computer.
“You have discord open?” Sean eyes Rose, she is sitting straight up, applying lip gloss and fluffing her hair and pulling her shirt down just a bit - causing her boobs to show slightly more, even if there’s not much to show. “Is she okay?”
“No.” Rose replies, double checking her looks in a handheld mirror.
“I have discord open, I’ll just join your server, right?” I ask, clicking around - I haven’t opened discord in ages.
“Yeah, and you should be good to go.” Sean puts his headphones on and grabs his phone preparing to hang up.
“Okay, I’m about to join the call.” I let Sean hang up, I’m about to click to join until Rose grabs me.
“Wait,” she checks the mirror one more time before turning to me and applying some lip gloss to me.
“Thanks.” I click to join the call and immediately hear and see men laughing hysterically. Rose's eyes immediately widen when she sees Ethan, a blush creeping across her cheeks. It might just be my imagination, but I swear I saw Ethan fix his hair when he saw us join.
“Y/N! She’s here folks!” Sean shouts, the server goes quiet as they glance to us.
“Which is which?” Wade asks, he’s bald and reminds me of Pitbull if he was white,
“I’m Y/N, this is Rose.” I gesture to Rose who smiles, her dimples popping up as she does so.
“Well, welcome guys!” Mark smiles, Rose’s type may be Ethan but as soon as I seeMark I’m done for. I’ve never followed any of his stuff closely or watched Unnus Annus so I didn’t know he looked like
this
.
“Let’s start this stream!” Bob says, readjusting his glasses - this leads me to fix mine as well. My 70s style beauties, my glasses are the most precious of my possessions, besides my signed Moulin Rouge playbill.
“Hey guys, I am here with Sean, Bob, Wade, Ethan, and some newcomers! We have Rose and…?” Mark looks to the screen full of our faces, I feel like he’s looking directly at me.
“Y/N.” I say smiling softly, Mark's face warms and it feels like an eternity before he says my name.
“Y/N.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It’s been a couple weeks since the first stream and I’ve become rather close with the boys and Rose has become rather close with Ethan. Ethan reached out to Sean and Sean reached out to me asking for Rose’s number. When I told Rose she screamed and jumped around the apartment for a while before her asthma kicked in and she had to take a minute.
Sean was coming into town and planned to stay at Marks, I haven’t been there yet but I will be this Sunday and Rose is psyched to meet Ethan in person. They’ve been texting and facetime multiple times a day and keep planning to meet up but Rose’s job keeps getting in the way.
Sunday was approaching fast and I was annoyed with my whole closet - I haven’t gone out shopping in a while, so I decided to use this party as an excuse to go out and treat myself. I’m in the middle of getting ready before the door to the apartment swings close,
“Y/N!!!” It’s Rose, I hear her sneakers clatter onto the floor and her footsteps approach the bathroom. “Where are you going?” She asks, her dirty blonde hair in a pony. Her natural highlights have become more prominent as she lives here. Big gold hoops hang from her ears, subtle pink eyeshadow is brushed across her eyelids. She’s wearing a white tank top and a flowery long pink skirt - a soft sheen of sweat glistens on her forehead.
“Mall, wanna come?” I glance at her through the mirror, she purses her lips.
“Depends, what for? If it’s yet another Sephora run, no, I will not be an aid in your addiction.” She declares, leaning across the door frame. I giggle at her remark, I do have a really bad addition - I’ve racked up at least 3000 points at Sephora.
“No, no Sephora.” I smudge the eyeliner I’ve just applied, I can’t stand a clean liner for everyday. “I need an outfit for the party tomorrow, I’m surprised you haven’t gone out to get an outfit yet.” Rose’s eyes widen and realization, she runs back to the main area -
I hear her struggle with her shoes.
“So I take it, you wanna come?!’ I shout, a struggled ‘yes’ shouts back. I smile to myself, “she’s still the same 13 year old inside.”
We pull into the mall, ‘Hey’ by Pixies gets cut off by Rose opening the door. I take my driving sunglasses off and pop them in the tiny compartment above the rearview mirror. I’m about to leave the car before I realize my face feels too empty. I see my glasses sitting in a cup holder and grab them. I slam the door shut and lock the car.
“Ready?” Rose asks, she stands next to me at a whopping 5’2.
“Ready.”
“Okay, Macy’s? Altar’d State?? Nordstrom?” We grabbed Starbucks on the way in, I get exhausted trying on clothes and dressing rooms are always so hot for no reason. Rose fiddles with her necklace, deep in thought. “Hello?”
“I’m thinking” Rose takes a deep breath. I sit down at a nearby bench, knowing this may take a minute.
My mind begins to wander, I think of what to wear - I’m debating on calling Sean and asking what kind of attire I should wear. I’m about to call before my conscious stops me
He just flew in. He’s exhausted, let him sleep.
A simple dress should be fine but what if people are wearing jeans? A dress can still be casual. But what if people take it the wrong way? I put my head in my hands, my brain starts to hurt at the anxiety piling up.
“Altar’d State.” Rose grabs my hand and pulls me up, starting to lead me to the overpriced, yet gorgeous, store.
We enter the store, the familiar Jesus type memorabilia on the wall. I wander around the store, grabbing a few options, red, white, forest green, sky blue. Rose belines it for the pink, she picks up 5 different pink dresses and 3 white ones. I smile and head towards the dressing room.
“Hey honey, need a dressing room?” A girl with burning red hair asks, her brown eyes sweet.
“Yes, please.” I smile, she leads me over to a corner dressing room.
“Let me know if you need any help or a different size!”
“Thanks” I close the door and glance in the mirror. I furrow my brows at myself, I’m so off and on about how I feel about my body. It’s usually the lighting that makes me feel like shit. I shake my head and begin picking through dresses. I eventually settled on a pale green cowl neck slip dress. The fabric is smooth against my skin and feels cool to the touch. It’s completely blank and dances on the line between casual and formal. Rose settled on a Toile de Jouy mini dress, with spaghetti straps. It compliments her hair and hugs her perfectly. Rose got a little luckier than me as her dress was on sale and mine cost me 110 dollars but I did suggest Altar’d State so that is my fault.
Time Skip
I park outside Mark’s house, it was more subtle than I expected - Rose made him out to be loaded. It seemed unsuspecting until I see a Tesla - then I just nod in understanding. Multiple cars are parked around the street.
“His neighbors must love him” I mutter, unbuckling from my seat. I’m about to step out of the car before a car whizzes past, almost taking my car door off.
“FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!” I scream out, the guy in the car shoves the middle finger out his skyroof. “WHY DON’T YOU GO SHOVE THAT FINGER RIGHT UP-”
“Y/N!” I turn to Rose, pissed.
“He almost hit me!” I seethe, I grab my purse from the seat and slam the door shut and lock it.
“I know, he’s an asshole but this is a suburban neighborhood.” She starts walking up, I hurry after her.
“You know, usually you would scream with me.” I nudge Rose. Rose nods, doing everything but looking at me. “Is it because of Et-” Rose shoves me hard, cackling in embarrassment.
“Shut up!” She covers her mouth,
“Don’t start snort laughing, sometimes you don’t stop.” I remark, ringing the doorbell. Rose straightens and stands next to me, trying to control herself.
“Got your inhaler?” I ask, I’ve had to save her before. She pulls it out of her bag and smiles. I nod. I hear footsteps approach the door, then the turn of the lock.
The door opens.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The door opens, Rose is clutching my hand tightly - her body full of adrenaline to see Ethan. Mark is standing at the door, he’s wearing a tight white t-shirt with
memento mori
written on the top right, he’s wearing black shorts and black nike slides.
“Hey guys!” Mark smiles, he steps out of the way to let Rose and I in.
“Hey, Mark,” I smile at him, “should we take our shoes off?”
“Not unless you want to walk in dog fur.” We step in,
keeping
our shoes on.
“Um, hi, I hate to ask-” Rose starts,
“Mark, is she here?” A voice comes from the living room, an anxious voice at that. Rose’s eyes perk towards the voice, a blush rising across her face. Mark and I glance at each other, amused. I pat Rose to go over to it, she shakes off and walks over.
“She’s here!” Rose smirked, I see her standing in the doorway. An excited Ethan gets up from, I’m guessing, a couch - he’s smiling and blushing profusely.
“Oh my god, hi!” Ethan walks toward her. I turn away from their exchange to give them some sort of privacy. A wet nose nudges my hand and I look down to see a very fluffy golden
retriever.
“This is Chica,” Mark kneels down to pet her, something about seeing a man on his knees… “I have another dog, Henry, but he’s really shy.” I rub Chica’s ear and she rolls down for belly rubs.
“Aww, good girl.” I kneel down next to Mark and give her belly rubs. “She’s so cute.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Mark straightens up and offers me a hand, “come on, Sean’s really excited.” For some reason, I completely forget about Sean.
“Oh my god, right.” I take Mark’s hand, it’s rough and I can feel the callouses. I straighten up and smile at Mark, “Thanks.” Mark nods and leads me over to the living room, where Rose is nowhere to be seen. I look around and see her and Ethan talking on the porch, they’re laughing and smiling…and sitting rather close. I glance back to the living room, Wade is chatting with a tall man. We walked through a kitchen on the way to the living room and there he is, cracking open a beer. My social anxiety instincts take over and I just stand there, thinking of how to introduce myself. Mark glances at me and I’m sure he understands because he announces my presence for me.
“Y/N’s here!” Mark’s arm goes around me and he pats my shoulder, he retracts himself.
“Hi,” I smile and wave, I hear footsteps behind me and someone’s arm wraps around my waist, “Holy shit!” A laughter erupts from behind me, I turn to see Sean behind me. He’s bulked up since I last met him, his arms definitely more toned since last time. One key detail, he’s not wearing a shirt. “You asshole.” I shove his shoulders, he’s still laughing.
“It was worth it!” Sean wraps his arms around me for real and gives me a hug. I can feel his
new
muscles through my dress,
Imagine that without a dress on.
GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, YOU FILTHY HO.
I hug him back, he gives me a tight squeeze before he lets go. This time his eyes sweep across my full figure, a slight tinge of red on his ears.
“It’s good to see you,” Sean breaths,
“You too,” I attempt to break whatever tension is happening, “You certainly changed.” I gesture to his new muscles. Sean looks down at his own figure and nods a smirk blooming on his face.
“You like it?” He taunts, I roll my eyes
“Okay, mister - put a shirt on.” I turn back and wave at Wade. I feel a hand on my shoulder, it’s Sean’s and he points over to the tall guy.
“That fella is Tyler.” Tyler rolls his eyes and gets up.
“I can introduce myself, dude” Tyler remarks, he holds out a hand for me to shake, “Hi, as Sean said, I’m Tyler.” I take his hand and shake it,
“Hey, I’m Y/N.” I smile, the millionth smile in 10 minutes. Sean’s hand slips from my shoulder and I see from the corner of my eye, Sean lean into Mark.
“She has a really pretty smile…” Mark whispers to Sean, a blush against his neck, Sean nods and pats his back.
“Have fun.” Sean huffs.
“Okay, we came here to swim, so-” Mark starts, my head whips in confusion, “Did you not know?” Mark asks, an eyebrow cocked up.
“I texted you.” Sean looks at me,
“No, you didn’t” I raise my eyebrows, Sean pulls his phone out scrolling through our texts. “But now I know why you don’t have a shirt on.” I add,
“Oh no, he just goes out in public like this.” Wade teases, I crack a smile. I turn back to Sean, expectantly waiting for this ‘text’ evidence.
“Aww, can’t find it?” I pout, “Maybe ‘cause you never texted me.” I cock my head, my eyebrow raised.
“I-” Sean’s eyes scan his phone, “I swear I texted you!” His accent thickens, slipping a little to Northern Irish when he gets frustrated.
“Careful, you might go all Northern on me!” I raise my hands. Tyler chuckles,
“I like her, she’s funny” Tyler points to me while saying it to Mark, I smirk. Sean gives up and looks me up and down, I know what he’s about to say and it’s my fault for letting him.
“You could strip?” Sean cracks a crooked smile, the sun hitting his piercings. I sigh and stare at Sean, daring him to say more. That’s when Rose comes bounding in, in a bikini.
“Where’d you get that?” I say, puzzled.
“Ethan said it was a pool party and before you say anything - I brought one for you. It’s in the car.” Rose smiles a toothy smile, her toothy smiles suit her though. I sigh,
“Thanks, Rose” I start walking out towards the door, Mark follows behind. I’m about to close the door, when Mark grabs my arm
“I’m gonna lock the door, but I’ll be right here to open it for you.”
“Why lock it?” I cock my head, his hand still holding onto my arm - he realizes he still touching me and pulls away, leaning against the door frame.
“Some fans like to sneak in when they think I’m not looking.” Mark chuckles, he folds his arms, his biceps squeezing his shirt.
“They do that?” I’m shooketh, I didn’t know humans were such barbarians - okay that’s a lie I do know we can be. Mark nods, I return his nod with a slow confused nod. I turn towards the street and start walking towards the car. I don’t hear the door close however, I subtly turn pretending to glance across the street. Out of the corner of my eye I see Mark, he’s watching me.
I open the car door and see a bag with a bikini in it, not just any bikini. MY SLUTTIEST ONE. WHAT THE HELL IS ROSE TRYING TO INSINUATE?! I sigh and collect the bag, slamming the door shut. Mark is still standing there when I turn around, he pretends to be inspecting the flowers on his front porch. I cock an eyebrow and begin walking back up to the door.
“She must be a good friend.” Mark gestures to the bag,
“She is, no matter how much she drives me insane sometimes.” I grin. Mark steps aside to let me in, I cross the threshold back into his house. I stand looking around, realizing I need to change. Mark points to a door to the left of the kitchen,
“There’s a bathroom in there, the door locks and everything.” Mark piped, I nod to him and start walking over. “The lights are kinda weird, you kinda-” Mark walks over to me and opens the door, he flicks the light a couple times before the lights go on. His body is rather close to mine as he leans through the door. “Faulty wiring.” He turns, now realizing how close we are. His slow breath fawns over my face, I feel like it’s an eternity before I break eye contact.
“Thank you, I’ll be out in a sec.” I walk into the room, starting to close the door.
“Take your time.” Mark says as I close the door. I blink a couple times, with the door now closed I can replay what happened. I turn to myself in the mirror, something about his mirror makes me feel like hot shit. The pale green slip compliments my H/C and hugs everything.
“I have really good taste.” I compliment myself and turn to the side, glancing at the smooth fabric and how it runs over my ass. “I have a really good ass.”
I change into the bikini, a thong style lavender bottom and a very plunging lavender top with tie straps.
“Oooo…this is dangerous. My tits may fall out if this comes undone.” I nod to myself in the mirror before deciding I look pretty hot. I open the door and hear yells and whoops from the patio. I put my clothes in the bag that held the bikini and place it on the counter, not knowing if the dogs were prone to running around with underwear - I know my dogs were. I walk towards the sliding door and see a plethora of shirts discarded on the sofa.
So Sean isn’t the only shirtless person now.
I see Rose sitting on the pool's edge, she’s wearing a pink bikini with a heart cut out on the side of the bottoms and one heart cut out between her tits. I slide the door open, Sean glances to me - he seems like he’s about to freeze up before he yells.
“Y/N!!! Yeah! Show us some skin!” Sean yells, water drips off his pecs and runs down his shoulders, the sun reflecting off the pool and into his face. I do a little twirl, showing off my outfit, everyone cheers.
“YOU’RE SO HOT” Rose shouts over everyone, I crack a smile at her remark and shake my head.
“Jump in! The water’s cool.” Tyler is also pretty built, does Sean surround himself with buff people or? I’m about to step in but they stop me.
“No, you gotta jump in! We all did!” Mark grins, he’s also dripping, no longer wearing a constricting top. Water rolls off of him and his hair is smoothed back.
“If I jump in, this top may fall off.” I admit,
“I don’t think anyone minds that” Mark nags
“I think everyone would prefer it.” Sean quips, a wicked grin on both of their faces.
“I know I wouldn’t mind!” Rose raises her arm, smiling. I grin and start walking towards the deep end,
“Prepare to possibly see some impeccable tits everyone!” Rose shouts, Ethan is in the pool next to her - confused if she’s already dating me or is just a really good hype man. I glance to her before looking up at the sky,
If
you flash ‘em, you flash ‘em.
I crack my neck and turn my back to the pool, I look back and see they’ve moved to the sides to let me jump. I straighten my arms above my head and backflip into the pool. As soon as I hit the water I feel the ties begin to come loose. I clutch my chest as I come up, they’re cheering and laughing.
“Hey, you cheated!” Sean says,
“How did I cheat?” I don’t know how you can cheat a backflip. He points to my chest,
“You’re covering.” Sean grins, I roll my eyes. I try to reach the tie but I feel the top slip more as I lift my arms - my arms go back to covering.
“That’s- no.” I shake my head at Sean, I feel a body behind me.
“Need some help?” Mark asks, I can feel his hands hovering above the ties - I turn my head to look at him.
“Yes, please” I smile. Mark’s hands touch my neck as he starts to fix the tie. His fingers brush against the nape of my neck. He finishes the tie and places his hands on my shoulder, he leans down, his mouth next to my ear.
“You’re good.” Mark whispers, I suppress a shiver.
“Thanks” I try to shake off the awkwardness in me, I glance to Rose who gets pulled into the pool by Ethan. He holds her up , her arms wrapped around his shoulders as she takes in what he just did. He’s grinning and she’s trying not to smile. Rose looks at him, her own awkwardness taking over - feeling too close to Ethan.
“Let’s play a game!” She shouts, Ethan licks his lip, letting her go - they glance at each other and share a mutual understanding for what just happened.
“Like what?” Wade asks, he’s sitting on the pool steps.
“Truth or dare?” Mark cocks an eyebrow, looking for a response.
“What are we 12?” Wade scoffs,
“Yes.” Ethan replies, “Come on, it'll be fun.” I look at Rose, narrowing my eyes - she grins at me.
“Truth or dare it is!” Sean shouts
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
We ended up not playing ‘truth or dare’, for a good reason though. We kept thinking of dares that were mildly provocative and we were in so little clothing and didn’t need any tents. Everyone decided to just chat, drink, and have fun outside as the sun began to set. Chica was lounging on a sun chair, Henry had decided to crawl underneath the sun chair and he quickly passed out. Wade was chatting with Tyler and Sean in the hot tub, they both had some type of drink in front of them. Ethan and Rose were sitting on the pool steps, talking and laughing - sometimes they were silent, seeming to have a mutual understanding that the silence was okay. I was simply chilling in one of the pool’s corners, watching everyone else - giving the occasional pet to Chica. I was about to ask Tyler a question, when Mark stepped out of the pool. I hadn’t seen him out of the water but now his full torso was shown. The sun glimmered off of the water that ebbed down his shoulders and rolled off his hips. He was buff, his arms were practically sculpted by Micheal Angelo - it’s the only reference I could think of. His pecs were practically tits and he had the most defined v-line I’ve ever seen. He had no happy trail but the v-line was enough to give me butterflies. He laughed at a joke Tyler had just cracked and the smile he made could’ve made me melt. I felt my cheeks heat and my heart drop into my stomach.“Y/N...” Rose whispered over, I snapped my head to look at her - my face no longer red from the sun or heat but from Mark. “Don’t drool.” She whispered again, snickering. Ethan nudged her, but Rose just whispered something to him, causing Ethan to chuckle. I look back to where Mark was, he’s now standing facing the sun - the light bounced off of him as if he was a god. I look back down to the water and force myself to get my head on straight.“Hey! Y/N!” Mark calls to me, he’s walking towards the sliding doors “you want a refill?” My drink was tipped over on the concrete, nothing spilling out.“Yes, please!” I answer back. Mark walks over, kneeling down to pick up the can, we lock eyes when he kneels, he smiles and raises one eyebrow quickly before it lowers again. “Thanks” Mark walks back over to the sliding door and enters his house. I shouldn’t have another since I’m the driver but the buzz of the beer is something I need. It’s no help that my social anxiety is shooting and a very hot man is here and your bestie is hanging out with a guy this whole time.“Okay, can I just say… the tension.” Ethan looks at me and points at me and towards the house, Rose nods, making a slight chad face as she does so. I shake my head in disbelief, the only tension is the band wrapped around my brain.“There’s no tension.” I raise my hands in surrender,“There’s tension.” Wade says, he looks at me with a blank face - as if to say ‘girl really’. I look at Sean, scoffing. His jaw is clenched and his brows are slightly furrowed - it may just be the sunset reflecting off the pool. Sean’s fast relaxes and he just shrugs, giving no clear answer. Mark exits his house with a can of coke and can of beer, everyone returns to their conversations, as if I wasn’t just accused. Mark sneaks past Rose and Ethan, heading over to me.“Here you are,” Mark hands me the can, I crack it open.“Thank you,” I take a sip, the chilled beer rushing down my throat, the alcohol burns and warms my stomach. I nod to his can of seltzer, “Not a drinker?” Mark glances at his drink and nods and a small chuckle escapes his throat. He looks to the sky and laughs.“I’m guessing you never heard of me before Sean?” Mark asks, his brow quirked. He seems slightly amused. I open my mouth before closing it, forcing a smile.“Sorry…” I force a laugh,“No! No, it’s cool - it’s actually nice to hear” Mark takes a sip from his drink, “ it may sound stuck up or stupid but having so many people know who you are and breathing down your neck when your out is crazy and having just someone who doesn’t know you for Youtube is really refreshing.”“Do you prefer to be known as Mark?” I ask,“Well, don’t get me wrong, I’m so proud of how far I’ve come and what I can do to help other people from my own success but being a public figure is…”“Draining…?” I say for him, he nods.“Yeah.” Mark looks at me for a while before getting back on topic.”I can’t drink alcohol at all.” My eyes widen, I know people are sober but he doesn’t seem like he used to be an alcoholic.“Really? Like never ever?”“My body can’t flush it out, so last time I drank…I had a heart attack…” Mark chuckles, amused with his brush with death.“Oh, shit.” I take another sip from my drink, Mark runs a hand through his chlorine soaked hair.“Yeah.” My eyes roam his face, taking in every detail. The soft beard he had, the curl off the ends of his hair, the dimples and the crinkles in his eyes when he laughs or smiles too hard.“I never asked what you do,” Mark gestures to me, that damned eyebrow cocked again. I sigh and prepare the excuse and guilt. “Uh oh, wrong question?”“No, it’s not that - it’s a long story.” I fiddle with the tab to my drink before taking a swig to prepare myself, “I’m an author, kinda…I’ve had a lot of rejected material. I’m in the middle of something with a brighter horizon than my past material, I don’t have an actual job because I spend so much time just writing. So, Rose does all the work. I get a weekly pay from my stories that go in magazines or newspapers but it’s not a real job. I’m looking for a job that lets me write and work at once. Sooo…” I look at him, his eyebrows furrowed - he looks at the sky before looking back at me. The outside lights have now come on, the sun now barely peeking out. “What…?”Please don’t judge me.Mark nods to himself before starting,“I’ve been looking for someone to take care of the dogs and clean around the house and basically be my ‘assistant of sorts’ while I work and stream. It would be a live in position but if you’re looking for something that lets you do both? I think I have it.” Mark smiles softly, the light reflecting on one side of his face. The warm light from lighting up his brown eyes, making every shade and line defined. The opportunity he is offering me is astronomically amazing and perfect, I can’t help but laugh with amazement and joy.“I mean, y-yes please!” I manage to say after being frozen, “That would be perfect! W-what are the specifics?” Mark smirks, a glint in his eye.“Nothing too crazy, basically clean once a week, laundry, dog care, probably cook and remind me to sleep.”This is a steal.“And everything here, you’re free to use - I have a peloton and other workout equipment, this pool and other stuff, but, yeah.” He leans his elbow against the pool edge, the lighting and the mix of the alcohol and the excitement of a real job is making my knees weak.“Can I maybe take the job..?” I crack a smile, looking up through my eyelashes. Mark chuckles and nods,“I offered it to you, it’s yours if you want it!”“I do!” I grab his forearm, he looks between me and my arm “Sorry.” Mark smiles, clearly amused at my excitement.We stayed outside a while longer before Tyler asked about a fire pit as the air began to chill around us. Mark ended up lighting one, we sat around and chatted for a while - it wasn’t until a neighbor complained about the ‘noise’ that we decided to wrap things up. I was on my 4th drink by then and pretty ditzy, and Rose was on the brink of being blackout drunk. The beer had drowned my senses and turned my legs to jelly everytime I looked Mark’s way. We all ended up inside, about to go our separate ways before Mark took the keys from my hand. I reached for them as he put them in his pocket,“Hey!” I stumbled over my own feet and Mark caught me by my forearms, “Can I please have those back?” Mark was holding me up, my feet shuffling beneath me, trying to get a solid hold.“You’re not driving and I don’t think Rose can.” Rose was clutching onto Ethan, her head rested on his shoulder - she was on the verge of sleep.“I really like you…” She whispered into Ethan’s neck, Ethan’s head shot up and looked to Sean to see if he had heard that. Sean grinned at Ethan and gave him a thumbs up. Ethan’s hand moved from Rose’s back to her hair, he rested his chin on the top of her head - a ghost of a smile appearing on his lips.“I can drive though…” I whine, my point is proven wrong as I trip over my feet again. I sway and my eyelids start to droop,“Either I drive you home or you sleep here. I’m not letting you drive.” Mark sits me down on the couch, Sean stands behind him - he’s obviously holding his liquor better.“Yeah, Y/N, you’re not driving.” Sean sits next to me, slightly concerned. I look down at myself, remembering the little amount of clothing I’m wearing - my whole body practically on display.“Can I borrow a shirt or something, I feel -” The drunken water works start to play, I cover my body with my arms - closing in on myself. Mark quickly gets up and runs upstairs, Sean wraps his arm around my shoulders - I lean into him. My head rests on the side of his chest, I can hear and feel the soft rise and fall of his breathing, his thumb traces circles on my arm. The familiar comfort of his touch brings me back to when we were together. The small comforts the little things brought me, his breathing, his hands, his smile on a hard day, his leg wrapped around mine, the times when I would wake up with an arm tightly wrapped around me, when he would play with my hair or hold me tight when I was crashing. One of my hands reach for his and he takes it and holds it. Mark comes back down the stairs with a sweatshirt, he sees the moment between Sean and I and walks slowly over.“Y/N” He holds out the hoodie, I unwrap myself from Sean; the warm comfort melting away. I tug the hoodie on, it’s extremely oversize, since he’s huge.“Thanks” I manage to whisper, my throat suddenly feeling tight with the wash of memories. Mark gets up and holds his hand out,“Come on, I’ll drive you home.” I grab Mark's hand, he’s quick to grab my lower back as my balance falters. Sean stands up and pulls me into a tight hug, his scent fills my nostrils as I tuck my head into his neck. I pull away, too scared of the past feelings. I manage to wave goodbye. Mark holds my hand as he guides me to the door, he grabs my bag and helps me into my shoes. Mark signals to Ethan, who ends up picking Rose up ‘princess bride’ style as she has passed out. Mark unlocks the car and helps me into the passenger seat, Ethan helps Rose into the seat. He buckles her in, taking a second to brush the hair out of her face, he then presses a soft kiss to her forehead - she stirs but doesn’t wake up. Ethan closes the door and nods to Mark. Mark gets in the driver's seat and looks at me, checking to see if I’m buckled in. I reach for the aux cord and go to play a song, Mark puts the car in drive and begins to go. Fade Into You by Mazzy Star begins to play, I roll my head back against the seat and sigh. I glance at Mark, as pulls over to punch in the address - he re-enters the road. His face is calm, unbothered…beautiful.Homes past, most lights turned off - I can see the glow of the city as we begin to approach it. I catch Mark looking at me at red lights and stop signs - a gentle check in. Streetlights past in a blur, the stars no longer visible where we are. The next thing I remember is being guided into bed, my shoes being slipped off and jewelry and makeup being removed. I remember the stumbling of Rose getting into bed and her mumbling for Mark to ‘let her sleep’ when he attempted to take her shoes off. Then the lights are out.—I can’t help myself when I look at her, Sean spoke of her frequently and now I understand why. There’s an ethereal air to her, an electric energy that pulls me closer. Her soft lips, her E/C eyes that light up when she talks about something she’s passionate about, the way the light reflects off her H/C hair in soft waves. Her smile. It’s intoxicating, she could smile at you and you’d melt. The worst part is, I know Sean likes her still - I can understand why. But I’m drawn to her in a way I cannot understand.If this is what being drunk is like, I understand the addiction.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Today is my first day on the job, my first day of being Mark’s personal assistant. Technically, I moved in yesterday but he gave me the day to settle in and unpack. He led me to a room that was about the size of Rose’s and I’s room combined at the apartment. A bed was set up in the corner, it had clean sheets and pillows - no blankets (obviously). A white rounded nightstand stood next to the bed, a bookshelf stood across from the bed, it was one of those 4 x 4 IKEA bookshelves. Next to the bookshelf was a closet, which was slightly a walk-in - I mean you could stand, do a turn, and exit, so that counts as a walk-in. In a corner on the same wall of the door was a desk, it had another bookshelf next to it, this one was smaller. There was a window above the bed that faced the street. Another window was near the desk, sheer curtains hung from both.“This is it,” Mark walked in, he offered to carry a couple of my boxes, he set them down next to the bed. I will most definitely need help from him to bring up my books, those boxes are kinda heavy.“Wow, this is-” I stepped into the room, the LA sun streaming in through the windows. “This is huge.” I finally managed to say. Mark smiled and looked around,“You should see my office, it’s pretty big.” Mark winked at me,No, don’t do that. That’s too hot.“Do I get a tour?” I ask, walking closer to him. I had decided to wear jean shorts with small daisies embroidered on the pockets and a vintage t-shirt that said ‘spread kindness’ with a walking earth and flowers. My hair was up in a clear claw clip and I had my favorite small, chunky, gold hoops on my ears.“You will, but let's get those before someone comes by and snags them.” He heads back out and I follow him.Eventually, all the 8 boxes were brought up, 3 of them consisted of books. I was sweating like crazy and Mark was too,“You sweat like an animal too?” I asked, cracking a smile. He looked at me and laughed, seeing the sweat gather on my brows.“Thought I was alone,” Mark smiles, “hold on, let me grab something.” He heads into the hall and opens a door, he comes back with two hand towels - he tosses me one.“Thank you,” I start wiping my neck and face, he does the same - both our cheeks are flushed. If someone didn’t know any better, it’d look like we just fucked. I sit on the bed, the mattress was perfect - how lucky am I? Mark sits on the chair that was tucked against the desk.“Want the tour?” Mark inquires, one side of his mouth quirked in a crooked smile.“Yes, please.”He shows me all around his house, turns out his room is next to mine and we share a bathroom. Apparently, his office is supposed to be the ‘main bedroom’ and the office has the attached bathroom. He shows me the workout room and showed me some rooms I hadn’t seen earlier downstairs. We stopped in the kitchen,“So what, exactly do you need me to do? Do you have, like, a list?” I take a sip from the seltzer he handed me, the bubbles run down my throat. Mark’s eyebrows raise and he runs up the stairs. “O-okay…cool.” I mutter, looking at the drink. Bro, really ran. Mark, eventually, comes back down the stairs with a notebook.“I put this together last night, I felt kinda guilty making a ‘do this’ thing but-”“I kinda need guidance?” I cut him off,“Yeah,” Mark sets the notebook down on the counter, I stand closer to him to read the paper. A basic cleaning schedule is there, along with how to take care of the dogs, what times he usually eats, and what can go in the dryer. “So, this is basically it.” I looked it over, nodding over and over again.“Okay, cool, simple enough.” I looked up to him, not noticing how close I decided to stand. His face was inches from mine, his eyes flicked from my eyes to my lips, he smelled like patchouli and tobacco - a scent I didn’t know I needed. Mark clears his throat,“Let me show you where the cleaning supplies are.” He leads me over to a closet next to the stairs, he opens it and I am shocked. There is an ancient vacuum and barely any cleaning supplies.“Did you ever clean before this?” I ask, picking up an expired bottle of windex.“Uhm, I had housekeepers, that was all and they brought their own stuff.” Mark takes the bottle from my hand, puts it back and closes the door. “Do we need to go shopping?”“Yes, this is…” I gesture to the closet and just nod at him. He smiles and sighs,“Come on then.”We end up going to Target, he parks the car near the back. I’m about to get out of the car before he grabs my arm.“I need to refresh you real quick.” Mark’s eyes are serious and concerned, I nod and close the door. Mark removes his hand from my arm and runs it through his hair, I immediately miss the feeling of his callouses against my skin. “So, I get a lot of attention and if anyone bothers you, insults you, harrasses you, being like who the fuck are you?” Just tell me, I’ll make them back off, okay?” His eyebrows are drawn together, his jaw is clenched, he must really be concerned.“Okay, don’t worry though, I have tough skin.” I smile, he nods and opens the door.We enter the store and someone immediately asks for a selfie. He’s all chill about it and gladly takes a picture, he flashes a big smile. His smile is one of the best things I’ve ever seen.Why don’t you suck his dick while you’re at it?My thoughts betray me and my mind immediately goes to…sucking his dick. Butterflies bloom in my stomach and my hands tighten around the shopping cart. Images of Mark above me, sweaty and lust filled, his head thrown back with his hand in my hair. My mouth is wrapped around his dick, he pushes himself deeper into my mouth, my tongue runs under the sensitive side of his cock, running along the veins. He groans and looks at me, he shoves deeper - my neck bulging. I gag on his dick, tears pricking at my eyes,“Good girl…” Mark moans and tightens his grip. His cock twitches in my mouth, his breathing increases-“Y/N?” I’m pulled from my thoughts as Mark puts a hand on my shoulder, “You good?” I look at him, I can’t help the butterflies that bloom when I look at him - not after that daydream. I’m scared that I may have dived too far into that daydream, because the Sahara just turned into Niagara.“I’m all right, just thinking.” I say, starting to move the cart towards the direction we need to go. Mark steps in front of me and takes over the cart,“Must have been some intense thinking.” Mark pushes the cart then stops, “Which way?”“You should’ve let me push if you didn’t know where we’re going.” I smile, “Just follow me.” I lead Mark through Target, we reach the vacuum section. I glance across all the vacuums, I hear murmurs nearby,“Who is she?”“Ugly, that’s what.”“What a gold digger.”I rock back and forth, taking in a sharp breath.Maybe this would be harder than I thought.I look around at the prices, I should ask for a price cap -“Uhm, price cap?” I turn to Mark, he’s turned to the various voices, his brow furrowed. When he hears me, he turns back, his expression relaxes. He cracks a smile and shakes his head, “What?” Mark walks away from the cart and approaches me, he puts both hands on my shoulders -“Y/N, you have no cap. This is for the house, get something that works and will last. Don’t skip out just because you’re afraid-”“Hey, I don’t wanna spend all your money, my guy.” I raise my hands in defense, Mark release his hands from his shoulders and gestures to the vacuum,“Take your pick.” He says, I look around. I find a cordless, battery powered one. It’s about 80 dollars more on the expensive side but it’ll save so much time. I place it in the cart, he looks at me and nods,“What? What does that nod mean?” I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms,“Nothing, I just nodded!” He smiles that damned smile again and my heart flutters.“Okay, this way then.” I lead him over to the cleaning section, passing countless people who trash me, not even knowing what I do for him. Someone calls me fat and that I shouldn’t be wearing shorts. I’m like midsize and it took me a while to accept myself in shorts. Mark must’ve picked up on how the comment hurt me because he hands me the cart,“One sec,” He gives my hand a squeeze, it’s not much but it means a lot.“No, Mark, leave it.” I try to pull him back, but he turns to me and shakes his head no. I let him go and watch him march over, I lean into the cart and bury my head in my hands - shame taking over.“Hi, Mark!” The person squeals,“So, I’m guessing-” That was Mark,“I am a loyal subscriber!” They squeal again, “Can I have a hug?”“No, not after what you just said. That was rude, uncalled for, and just wrong.” Mark again,“But I-...I’m not wrong.”“Yes, you are. She can wear whatever the hell she wants, she’s not fat, a-and I don’t know why the word fat is even in circulation still. It’s a disgusting, vile word used to drag people down. I don’t ever wanna hear that again and don’t even try explaining yourself.” I hear Mark’s footsteps approach, tears prick at my eyes. I don’t dare pick my head up, scared that the waterworks might start. I feel a hand on my back,“Y/N, you alright?” He asks, his voice laced with guilt and concern. I don’t answer, I just pick my head up and nod. Mark looks at me, he sighs, he must’ve noticed the new redness in my eyes. He pulls me into an aisle and opens his arms,“Come here,” Mark whispers, I give into his hug after a good 15 seconds of looking at him. He wraps me in a warm hug and damn, does his hugs help. Mark squeezes me tight, one arm wrapped around my waist, the other hand goes up my back and presses into my head - his fingers getting tangled in my hair. I eventually pull away, his red shirt now has fresh tear stains.“Sorry” I mumble and gesture to his shirt,“Don’t apologize,” Mark says to me, I don’t look at him. He must really want that to resonate because his hands cup my face and bring my head to look at him. I’ve melted, every worry practically washes away. “Don’t ever apologize for something like that, okay?” I nod at him. “Come on,” Mark and I finish our shopping trip, I’m still insulted in the aisles, but Mark keeps his hand on the small of my back - a comfort that keeps me grounded.We get back to his home and I guess my home now. Chica and Henry greet us at the door, I set the bags down on the counter and turn towards the dogs.“I’ll take them out, just in the backyard, right?” I’m heading towards the back door before Mark stops me with the pull of my arm.“I’m sorry,” He says, his eyes holding guilt. I don’t understand why, he wasn’t the one who called me fat.“You didn’t do anything.” I say, “Besides, I’m over it.” That was a lie, it was still replaying in my head. Mark gives me a hard look before nodding and letting go of my arm.“Okay,” Mark's eyes bounce between my eyes and my lips again, he runs a hand through his hair - puffing out a sigh, “Uhm, I’m gonna record a video, but uh, how does pizza sound?” He cracks a smile, I can’t help but share the smile.“Sounds great,” I open the sliding door and immediately the dogs bolt out. Henry, no matter how shy he is, almost makes me fall. But Mark’s hand steadies me when he places his hand on my shoulder,“Careful, sweetheart” Mark winks and turns to go upstairs, all the blood rushes to my face - my cheeks undoubtedly turning bright red. I shake myself and follow the dogs outside, Henry is pissing in a corner and Chica is running back and forth across the yard and then randomly takes a shit. They lead their way back inside while I go to pick up Chica’s fresh shit and the others in the yard while I’m at it.I’m in my new room, putting up my new books - always alphabetized. I take a sip from my soda and end up spilling it on my shirt, it runs underneath my bra, soaking the under-wire line.“Shit…” I mutter, I check the door - it’s open but he’s busy, I can still hear him talking. I’ve already put my clothes away, so I rip my shirt off and toss it in the laundry basket. I reach my hands around to unclasp my bra,“Hey, Y/N - what kind of-” Mark looks up from his phone, his eyes immediately scan over the expanse of my body. My bra is wet and unclasped, I’m now wearing short black shorts, and I’m very much caught off guard. “See, Rose warned me. She said ‘you flashed’ and here you are.”“I thought you were still recording!” I turn around, my back facing him. I let my bra fall over my shoulders,“I just finished-” Mark's voice falters, I must’ve forgotten about where I decided to place my mirror. I spot his eyes in the mirror, my tits on full display, his neck reddens. I quickly grab the night shirt from between my legs and pull it on. I turn back to him,“You saw nothing.” I point at him and walk over,“Hmmm, pretty sure I saw something, a little more than something-” Mark gets cut off by me shoving him,“What was your question, pervert?” I smirk, Mark just shakes his head and smiles, Mark leans against the door. I’ve read too many romance novels and this makes my knees weak - I know my face immediately picks up on this because something in his eyes change and his lip quirks just slightly.“What kind of pizza do you want?” He pulls out his phone again,“What are you getting?” I glance at his phone, the pizza hut app open. He looks up, thinking“Probably…pepperoni?” He says, not quite sure.“I’ll have whatever you have.” I gesture to his phone and walk back over to the box of books. Mark nods and watches me go back, he presses a couple buttons on his phone.“Do you need any help?” Mark questions, he’s stepped further into the room now. I didn’t realize he had changed his outfit, he’s now wearing a tight black t-shirt and…grey sweatpants…fuck me.Hey, if he wants to.Shut the fuck up.“Yeah, that would be helpful. So any books I haven’t read, the pages face out - and it’s alphabetical.” I show him what I’ve done so far.“Looks like most have the pages facing out.” Mark stands rather close to me, I feel his arm brush against mine. I put my hand on my shoulder and look at him,“We don’t talk about that.” I whisper, Mark nods and turns to the box.He helps me for a while, we don’t really talk, just listen to music and enjoy the silence. Something feels so familiar about this, even if it’s just bullshit hope, but something just feels right. I feel like he feels it too. I catch Mark looking at me at times with a soft smile, like he’s known me for years. He’s the kind of person you get to know and immediately click with them, like you were together in another life. I don’t know how long he’ll let me stay, I hope for a while. Mark asks me if I read a book, it was the one Sean had gifted me for our 1st anniversary, I nod to him. I’m drawn back in time to Sean. Sean was supposed to stay at Mark’s but he decided to stay at a hotel, something about ‘not needing to hear Mark snore’. Half of me always misses Sean in a romantic way and when Mark looks at me, I realize something. I might like both of these men and they’re best friends.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Sweat trickles from beneath my tits, I pant out short breaths, my hair is caught against my forehead and neck. I look at the man ramming into me, his eyes flickering from my chest, which bounces with each thrust, to my eyes. Mark’s eyes are full of lust, his hand travels from my hip to my hair - he grabs a handful and pulls it harshly to the side, giving him access to my neck. His lips attach to my skin, he sucks at a particularly sensitive spot that has me whimpering and clenching around his cock. Mark groans and starts trailing kisses up my neck and towards my jawline,
“I could stay inside you all day,” It takes me a second to recognize the voice, it’s not Mark. I look at the man kissing down my chest, he latches his mouth onto my nipple and softly sucks it. It’s Sean.
I bolt upright, I’m sitting in my bed, clothed, alone, and now incredibly horny. My pajamas cling to my sweat-ridden skin, I place my hand to my cheek, I can feel the very obvious blush there. I throw the covers off my legs, I swing my legs over the edge of my bed. Reaching for my phone, I feel the built up arousal leaking, I mentally punch myself. I check the time, 6:30 AM, my alarm was set for 6:45 so not that bad. I don’t try going back to sleep as my mind is now racing along with my heart.
I make it downstairs to Chica and Henry, who are both awake and full of energy. I take their leashes from the closet and clip it on. I slide my feet into some Nike slides Mark left, it reminds me of mornings where no other shoes were there but your dads huge ass loafers. I take a cardigan I had left on the counter the day before, I slip into it, the soft material rubbing against my arms. I open the door and begin the dogs walk, Chica and Henry must be well trained because they don’t pull and follow where I lead them.
I get back to the house at 7:15, I was gonna go longer but Chica was starting to lag behind. I begin making breakfast, I search through the fridge for breakfast food - I find eggs and bacon. I take both of those out, along with some butter. I cook for about 15-20 minutes, I plate the food and then wait. I’m not sure when he usually wakes up, it’s about 7:45 now.
Maybe the smell of coffee will wake him up
.
I pull out my phone and text Rose, she’ll be up for work by now. She’s watched a lot of Mark so surely she knows what coffee he likes.
ME:
Hey, do you know what kind of coffee Mark likes?
ROSE <3:
Black???
She texts back pretty fast, I shoot her a thank you text and move to his coffee maker. He has a real one, like the ones baristas use. Thank god for me, I worked at
Peet’s Coffee
in college. I make two cups of coffee, one black and one latte (IT CAME WITH A MILK FROTHER). I feed Chica and Henry, they begin to demolish their food. As soon as I sit down on a kitchen stool, I hear Mark walking down the stairs. He appears with messy hair, glasses, and FUCKING GREY SWEATPANTS. The messy hair and the glasses have those damned butterflies acting up again.
“Goodmorning,” I smile at him, he looks so tired but he manages a smile,
“G’mornin’,” Mark’s voice is gravelly and thick with sleep, those butterflies kicked up into high gear. I suppress the blush that tries to sweep up across my cheeks. I point to his plate of food and coffee with my fork,
“That’s yours.” I say with a piece of egg in my mouth, thank god he had Tajin because then my eggs would’ve been so sad.
“And here I thought you were gonna eat both,” He slides into the stool next to me and pulls the plate and coffee to him - Mark smiles at me, “Thanks.”
“It is my job” I shrug, I take another bite of scrambled egg.
“I’m still gonna thank you,” Mark takes a bite of bacon, “I see you found the Tajin.” He leans over and takes it from, sprinkling some on his eggs.
“I see you’re a man of taste.” I chuckle, giving an unseasoned piece of egg to Chica, who sits patiently wagging her tail next to me. Mark laughs with me, he adjusts his glasses, which prompts me to do the same. It’s a habit, I guess.
“Are you okay? You’re really red.” Mark’s eyes scan my face, my face instantly turns even more red at the comment. “Oh, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
“No! You’re all good. It’s just a thing I have.” I shrug, checking the time.
8:00
“Rosacea?”
“No, I just get red easily.” Mark’s mouth goes to open, “And before you say that’s rosacea, no. Doctors have checked.” He nods and turns back to his food, I turn to my empty plate and stand to clean the breakfast dishes. “What do you have in the way of work?” I ask, the question feels strangely intimate - the type of question a wife would ask her husband, similar to ‘when are you gonna be home for dinner?’.
“I’m gonna record as many games as I get through before I record some
Distractible
, then I have some videos to go over and upload, and I have a livestream with the boys at 6.” Mark says this as if it’s nothing.
“Jesus.” I huff out, I scrub the last pan, reaching for a towel to dry it.
“Yup.” Mark sighs, “Not the worst workload, though. I’ve had busier days.” I gape at him in shock, my eyebrows raised. “Careful, don’t want a bug to fly in.” He smirks.
“Asshole!”
I smack his arm with the dish towel, Mark’s smirk turns into a grin, I can’t help but smile.
I hop out of the shower, washing the sweat and earlier arousal from myself, feeling somewhat ashamed. I wrap a towel around myself, the water dripping from my hair and collecting onto the towel. I look in the mirror, I’m looking somewhat refreshed, but my eyes are bloodshot. One eye is more bloodshot than the other after I got soap in it. I do my face routine and brush my teeth, I’m about to exit the bathroom when the door opens to a half-naked Mark. His wrapped towel hangs low around his waist, and
everything
is on display. Along with that oh so amazing v-line. I open my mouth and close it rapidly, my eyes try to move upwards to his face but keep trailing back down. I eventually manage to look up, Mark’s neck is covered in a red rash, his hair clings to his forehead with sweat. That’s when I realize he must’ve been working out, because his whole body is covered in a post workout sheen. Mark’s eyes have yet to look at my face, his eyes flickering across my mostly concealed body, but these towels are rather short and leaving my legs on full display out and are so close to having my ass and vagina out. We stand there for about…a minute,
“Yeah, you’re gonna have to get used to knocking now,” I force a smile, Mark looks at me nods and steps out of the way
“I’m so sorry.” He says, his blush spreading further up his face,
“You’re all good,” I slip past him and head towards my room, closing the door. I lean against the door, images of my dream flash about. I feel disgusting, my phone rings on my bed. I walk over, it’s Sean. he wants to facetime. He’s seen me naked plenty of times, but I pick up and lay the phone face down anyway.
“Why is it dark?” Sean's voice travels from my phone. His Irish accent drowned out by the blanket my phone rests in,
“Because I’m naked,” I reply, opening my closet door. I pull out a black sports bra, underwear, and some bright orange sweats.
“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” Sean’s laugh erupts from my phone and fills the room. After putting on the sports bra and underwear, I grant him the privilege of my face. “Jesus Mary and Joseph, I didn’t think I was gonna get what I wanted.” Sean winks, he’s sitting at his desk, he also decided to not wear a shirt today.
“You saw me in a bikini last week, this isn’t that different.” I shake my head in amusement, I pull on the sweats - I then begin the search for my claw clip.
“You still have those pants?”
“Yeah, they’re comfy,” I say, finding the clip and pulling my hair up, “And last time I checked, anyone remotely close to the UK say trousers.” Sean plants his head in his hands, I can see the slight rise and fall of his chest.
“I’m allowed to use both, it’s not a law.” Sean picks his head up, he clicks a few buttons with his mouse before focusing on his computer. I pick up my phone and bring it with me to Mark’s room, it’s my first stop of the day for cleaning and Jesus christ. It’s a fucking disaster. It’s dark and there are clothes everywhere, water bottles littered on his nightstand and dresser, and I don’t know the last time his sheets were washed.
“Why’d you call?” I ask, yanking open the window above his bed and then the one next to his closet door - fresh air starts to filter the room.
“I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime soon,” Sean says, he’s still focusing on his computer. I find a laundry basket in the corner, I cannot tell if it’s clean or not, so I just assume it’s dirty and begin
hauling the laundry from the floor into the basket.
“You’re back in Ireland, I can’t fly over.” I strip the blankets and pillows from the bed, the sheets come next.
“Turns out I have to fly back, I’m looking for a flight right now.” Sean huffs, sounding slightly frustrated. I pull the sheets off the pillow and bundle the sheets together, I head downstairs to the laundry with my phone in my back pocket. I dump the sheets into the washer, pulling my phone out and setting it on the dryer.
“What for?” I ask, I pour in the various detergents and softener and start the washer before heading back upstairs.
“I have to meet with Mark and Ethan for a possible new show,” Sean clicks vigorously, “fucking OPEN!”
I stare at my phone, Sean sees my face and smiles.
“I love buying airplane tickets,” I smile, I run back downstairs after forgetting the vacuum and a duster. I haul the vacuum upstairs with the duster tucked under my arm. I pass the bathroom, I mute my mic when I hear slight groaning from the bathroom. I press my ear to the door and hear Mark uttering words, one sounding very close to Y/N. A blush rises back up my face and I’m hit with a wave of heat that's sent straight to my clit. Sean’s voice leads me to rip away from my eavesdropping.
“Okay, I should be flying down…on Wednesday…” Sean’s brows furrow, he pulls out his wallet.
“I’ll probably be busy, I’ll have to ask Mark for a day off or something.” I say, setting the vacuum down, I set my phone on the now stripped bed.
“Oh, that’s right I forgot you’re working for him now.” Sean leans back in his chair, showing a hint of his happy trail.
Oh my god, you’re such a fucking whore
.
(Time skip cuz I’m lazy)
It’s now 6:15, Mark started live streaming not too long ago, and 5 minutes ago he texted me
MARK:
…
ME:
You’re hungry?
MARK:
Maybe.
So I have now started making food, I found chicken in the fridge and noodles in the pantry, deciding chicken stir fry would be good. Rose calls me halfway through me cutting the green onions. I pick up, she’s smiling like a dumbass,
“What happened…?” I ask, not sure if she’s about to cry and start ranting or something good actually happened. Rose starts at the screen smiling for about a minute, I slowly continue cutting the green onions.
“I may or may not be dating someone…” Her grin gets wider, it’s now that I realize her look. Her lips are swollen and her hair is a mess, following that her cheeks are flushed.
“Have you been sucking dick?” I ask, sliding the green onions into a wok. The silence from Rose is basically a yes. “You’ve been sucking dick!” I point the knife at my phone.
“Yes… she gets up from the bed and moves to a kitchen that isn’t the apartments.
“Whose house are you at?” I ask, turning the stove on, with the contents of a special noodle sauce from scratch, green onions, garlic, and noodles. The chicken is cooking in a pan next to it with white onion and some good sounding sauce I found in the fridge.
“Take a wild guess,” She says, grabbing a soda from the rando’s fridge.
“No! Maarrrkkk.” A voice erupts over the phone, it sounds somewhat distant, like it’s coming from the other room. At that moment, I realize who’s dick she hopped on.
“No fucking way.” I mutter, her mouth splits into a wide grin yet again - she breaks into a laugh, her snorts erupting yet again. “Careful, he might hear you…”
“Who is snorting?” I hear Mark say from upstairs, Rose’s eyes widen, I look at the live stream and see Ethan break into a crooked smile.
“Sorry, that’s from my line.” Ethan's crooked smile stays, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“What is that?” Wade asks,
“
She
is a secret.” Ethan blushes, his ears turning red. I flip back to Rose, she is blushing like a damn
whore
. Okay, not a whore, but like when she saw Aaron Taylor Johnson in
Bullet Train
for the first time.
“So, you just sucked his dick and then he went to stream right after?” I ask, plating the now cooked food. I grab a diet coke from the fridge.
“Maybe…” Rose nods,
“Ok, I’ll be back.” I start walking upstairs with the food in my hands. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to use chopsticks or a fork so I brought both. I make it to the room and hear screaming, they must be playing Phasmophobia. I knock once, no answer, I text him, no answer. At this point, I just open the door, I may be on camera but this bitch didn’t answer. I stand next to him for a solid minute, waiting for him to get killed by a ghost or go back in the van. Mark dies, he screams a lot before yelling at the mic. Chat is flooding with questions like, ‘is that his new girl’, ‘mark look behind you’, etc. Mark must see the one because he looks behind him and sees me,
“Oh, hi, sorry.” He smiles, I just laugh,
“Here’s your food, I didn’t know if you preferred chopsticks or a fork so,” I hand him the plate and set the diet coke and utensils next to him. Mark’s eyes widen at the food,
“Chat looked what she just cooked, this looks fucking delicious.” I’m about to leave, he must’ve taken a bite because he tells me to wait.
“Hold on, I just have to give you a hug or something because holy shit, that’s good.” I stop at the door, Mark gets up, “Can I hug you?” I just laugh,
“Yeah, you can.” Mark embraces me in a hug, he stills smells fucking amazing, I can feel his muscles through his shirt.
“Ok, sorry, thank you.” Mark lets go,
“Go back, you have to stream.” I open the door and head out, I make it back downstairs to Rose who has now disappeared from the call. The phone is just being set on the counter. I turn back to the stream, Ethan must have someone between his legs, because he frequently looks down before turning off the camera and saying ‘batteries dies’ before muting himself.
“That whore.” I mumble, smiling. Mark keeps glancing at the chat, someone asks ‘who was that’.
“That was Y/N,” Mark’s eyes scan the chat, a blush rises on his neck. “Yes, she is very pretty.”
“She’s my ex!” Sean’s voice erupts, Mark laughs. I blush remembering the tug of attraction between them.
‘Exactly, you aren’t together anymore, are you?” Mark grins, “Ethan, where’d you go?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Hey guys so sorry for being gone for so long. I just entered junior year so it's been crazy hectic. I also have a boyfriend now and it kinda felt wrong to write a fanfic for awhile and I told him this and he's like 'go write your smut, give the people what they want." So Chapter 7 should be out soon, like in a week hopefully. So sorry for the months long break.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I awake to my alarm, the randomized shuffle of music decides to play ‘Whistle’ by Flo Rida - a song I must’ve added long ago and has been buried underneath my masses of music. I press snooze, wanting to cherish these few quiet moments - until I hear a yelling from the direction of Mark’s office. I check my phone to see if he’s truly been streaming this whole night. He has.“God, he’s fucking insane” I groan. I hustle out of bed so I can quickly get myself ready and the dogs on a quick walk before I have to feed Mark - and myself. I rush myself into some clothes suitable for LA weather, I choose a pair of low rise jeans and a KISS crop top - I get at least 5 randos come up to me and ask me to name 3 songs. Motherfucker, I like the band, calm down. I pull on some denim converse and socks too while we’re at it. I snag my phone and pull up my spotify and press shuffle on my playlist, ‘Eyes on Fire’ by Blue Foundation starts playing. I usually skip it but I’m in the mood today.These types of Twilight-esque songs make me miss the Pacific Northwest with a passion. I used to live right outside a forest, where I could sit and write for hours on end while the rain pelted on the windows and it was just forest for miles. The fog that would come around during the early mornings were my favorite. Since I lived on a hill as well, I got plenty of fog. It wrapped around the forest and the house and it was so beautiful and thick. I do miss that place.I walk into the bathroom and slowly close the door, I do my morning skincare and brush my teeth. I hustle back to my room to grab a claw clip and put my hair up. I snag my headphones from my desk and head downstairs. Chica runs out of Mark’s office and Henry is standing at the foot of the stairs - I usher them both over the front door. The walk lasts about an hour. My notifications are usually silenced, except Mark and Rose can still contact me, they’re special after all. I get in the house and let Chica and Henry off the leash, they immediately find their separate places to lie down.The house is quiet, too quiet. Mark isn’t yelling like he usually is and last time I checked he was recording all day today. I climb the stairs, still quiet, no footsteps, no music, just silence. I peak down the hallway, the door to Mark’s office is slightly ajar, I can see blue LED lights stream through the dark hallway. I walk over to his office, Mark is at his desk, every monitor has a different tab, one is instagram, one is just a basic google search, and the other is twitter.“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Mark leans back in his chair, his toned arm raises and he runs a hand through his hair. I don’t know if I can speak or not, I know what angry Mark is like. My phone starts buzzing in my pocket, so I turn away and dash into my room. I close the door quietly behind me and pull my phone out of my pocket. It’s Rose, I obviously picked it up.“Hey, what’s up?” I sit down on my bed, she’s quiet for a moment.“Have you been on social media at all today?” She asks, her voice laced with concern. I don’t have any sex tapes and I don’t send nudes so nothing could’ve leaked.“No, why?” I turn off my DND and loads and loads of notifications roll in. So many message requests, so many tweets, so many follows, and it appears people have found my work email and have started contacting me through there.“Just don’t open it.” She says, practically pleading. She says it too late, I open twitter and I’m found with people mocking me, making fun of my body and face, sexualizing my body, saying the most crude things.The things i’d do to that piece of woman right thereFuckkk i need her pussyDoes anyone have mark’s address? I gotta take her off his handsShes not even hot why does mark have herDo you think he shares her with his buddiesShes so fatShes uglyWhy does she look like thatWhat an attention whoreGood thing i gotta basement waiting to be usedLike a personal sex dollI need to cum in herShes mid asfLooks like mark has lowered his standardsThe list goes on and on, tweets and posts and emails and dms of people wanting me or hating me. Not one normal comment or dm. I’m simply an object. I’m an object all over again, someone to be used for sex, someone to just be plain used.“Holy shit-” The eyes have that familiar strain, the tears may soon fall. My throat clamps shut, memories flood back, memories I wanted, no, needed to stay buried.“I’m on my way” Rose rushes out, the 3 beeps of the sign of hang up signal. I’m sat there frozen, my phone won’t stop blowing up, notif after notif, I’m bombarded by the most disgusting words. I can’t help but shake, my hands tense around my phone, the tears start to well. I don't know what happens or what comes over me, the need to yell or scream. I scream, a guttural throaty scream rips out of my throat and I throw my phone across the room and hits my door and falls to the floor. I fall back on my bed and the tears start to fall faster and faster down my face, my breathing picks up and my throat gets tight. My chest aches and everything floods back.I hear running towards my room, I hear the door open, it is quiet for a moment before I hear footsteps over to my bed.“Y/N?” I look over at him, tears flooding my vision, making my vision blur. His brows are raised in concern. He looks so guilty. I nod to my phone,“Is that what you were looking at in your office?” I do my best to speak through the tightness in my throat. He looks to where my phone lays on the ground, he runs a hand through his hair. Mark looks at me, he glances to the empty spot on my bed“Can I sit?” He asks, I nod. He sits on the edge of my bed, I’m curled close to the window. The sun streams through the room, the outside world still turning, the earth still rotating on its axis. But everything feels slowed, every movement, every breath feels slow and jagged. Even through my hyperventilating, I feel like my body is lagging, glitching.“Y/N-?” Mark starts but the sound of the doorbell pierces through his sentence. Chica and Henry start barking. Mark lets out a sigh and gets up after a moment to answer the door. I lay there and listen to what happens downstairs. Muffled talking, high pitched and angry. Must be Rose, next come footsteps, light and fast on her feet, she reaches my room and runs over. I feel her sit next to me and hug me from behind.“I’m so sorry hun” Her voice is soft and soothing, her perfume, Gucci Magnolia, fills my nostrils. I turn towards her, the tears still unrelenting and pouring from my eyes.“I thought I’d be done with this! I thought everything would be left in that goddamned state!” I wail, my voice scratchy from the previous scream. I hug her back, I’m crying into her chest now. She just strokes my hair and holds my hand.I fall asleep at some point, the exhaustion from crying getting to me. When I wake up, the room is dark and the door is closed. I look over to the alarm clock on my nightstand. The time reads 8:50 PM, it was at least 11 AM before I fell asleep. I sit up, my throat and mouth dry from dehydration. My head feels heavy and body movements slow. I get up and open my door. I’m about to step out when I hear sounds of muffled shouting coming from Mark’s office.“You need to shut this down now!”“I’m trying!”“No! No, you’re not! You’re just reading them!”“I’m waiting to see what my team is telling me to do!”“Seriously?! YOU know what to do. So do it!”“Look-”“You’re being selfish if you don’t fix it now!”The yelling becomes too much so I close the door and retreat back to my bed. My stomach growls, asking for me to eat, I don’t think I even ate breakfast. I sit back down on my bed and look out the window. There are few stars I can see due to the light pollution of California. Another one of the things I miss about the state I fled from, Rose followed me soon after. I sit there thinking for what feels like only a few seconds but when there’s a knock at the door, the clock now reads 11 PM.“Come in.” I say, my voice is probably not loud enough. But the door opens anyway, Mark enters. His glasses are on and his hair is a mess. He looks worse than me, somehow - then again I haven’t looked in the mirror.“Is it okay if I-?’“You can sit, yeah.” I cut him off, knowing what he was gonna ask. Mark makes his way over to my bed, I scooch over so I’m in the corner of pillows. I may be almost his height but he’s still twice my size so he takes up more space.“I’m so sorry.” He starts, I feel the tears crawl back up to my eyes, the tension returning. “Rose told me some stuff happened before you moved. She didn’t tell me what-”“I was used.” I rushed out. I haven’t told someone this story in so long and especially with this returning the pressure is back. I had thought the next time I would tell this would be to my future daughter.“What?” His voice, soft and light. My lip trembles, his face coming back. A face I hoped I would forget.“I was 16, he was 17. He was my first everything, he had been around the block a couple times. He cared so much in the first couple of months and then just stopped. He stopped caring, putting work, and made me feel like a ghost. He made me feel horrible for having emotions and I only saw him for one to two hours a week. And he always wanted to fuck and I only did it because he wanted to. Then he broke up with me a week after our 6 months, saying ‘he didn’t have the energy to be romantic anymore’. He wasn’t doing any work to begin with. I did everything. Everything. I always texted first, always said good luck before any show or audition, always asked how he was, if he was okay when he was sick, and I got nothing in return. He used me purely for sex. Later, I found out he was a narcissist and that meant it was solidified. None of it was real, he never loved me and only used me when he needed me. I had lost myself. My body felt disgusting because I knew he had touched me. I felt horrible for a long time. Everything came in waves. I had given him all my love and I got none of it back.” I look at Mark, the tears I’ve been attempting to hold back start to fall. I cover my face with my hands and I feel Mark wrap his arm around me. I lean into him, my head resting on his chest. His other arm reaches around and strokes my hair.“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Mark whispers, he holds me for a while. Time passes and my breathing begins to slow. I sit up and look at him. He looks at me for a moment before taking my head in his hands.“I’m going to fix this. I promise.” Mark doesn’t break eye contact, I offer a weak smile. He sighs and pulls me towards him by wrapping his arms around me again. I relax into his chest, his heartbeat in my ear. My eyes feel heavy and then everything goes black.