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Stan hates his father.
Randy was a jerk husband and a worse dad.
Alcohol and weed was everywhere in their house, even if it was a weed farm, it was horrible. Stan had to spend half his life inhaling the scents of, what his father called ‘the best thing ever’, it stunk and constantly gave him headaches. Complaining made you a pussy.
But even though his father was never truly his father Stan wanted nothing but to actually see him as such. He wanted his father to notice him, to give him a time of day, to remember when he had baseball practice and meets, to have him shout his name as he ran home-runs. To have him there when he graduates to the next grade, or either his or Shelly’s birthdays.
He wanted his dad.
He missed him, and he hated how badly he craved to have a good relationship with him.
Now it was christmas eve and Sharon sat him and Shelly down. It’s been three years since Randy had spent any celebration with them, after the divorce he couldn’t bother with them anymore, so their mom moved to their old house again and did her best as a single parent. She never once tried to replace their fathers role with someone new, boyfriends came and went very often when they’d realize how much of a handful two kids with very full schedules was. Stan and Shelly sat side by side, on the beaten up couch they’ve had since Stan was born, with their mother in front of them she tells them ground breaking news. “Randy is coming over for Christmas dinner.”
“Pfft.” The two children rolled their eyes, Randy Marsh visiting for christmas? Come on now. Randy barely even
called
, why even try now? Sharon furrows her brows then frowns at them both, she sighs and squeezes their shoulders.
“Apparently in the last year he went to rehab and he wanted to come see y’all.” She explains looking sincerely at them, trying to softly smile. Stan frowns and his eyes loom over at his sister, she scoffs. “As if! Do you seriously believe him? He had time to change now when he had plenty of time to do so
years
ago.” She hasn’t worn her brace in years but somehow still has a lisp when she speaks, Stan thinks she’s right but he also wants to see his dad. He was only 13 years old and seeing his dad was a bigger gift than the ones he and Kyle accidentally saw while searching for something in Sharon’s closet. (He was getting a new set of headphones and a guitar, something he has wanted since practicing on the old one Randy left.) Randy had chances to fix himself, a chance to change because he had to be there for his children, he had 13 years to change the moment Shelly was born. Maybe losing his family changed him? Stan certainly didn’t want his parents to get back together but he was willing to give Randy another chance if it meant seeing him at least one more time.
Stan sighs when Shelly looks at him to back her up. “I wouldn’t mind seeing him..” He shrugs. He felt bad for eating up Randy’s plate of lies but maybe he could give himself some hope. Their mom smiles at him proudly before turning back to Shelly as she turns her mouth into a flat line. She has a look of disbelief in her eyes and Stan looks down at his feet sadly feeling like he has just disappointed his older sister.
In a few hours everyone invited to the dinner would show up and Kyle would arrive with Ike holding his hand, and they’d all agree to hang out in Stan’s room to play video games until party games started, or when Cartman arrived and demanded dinner to be served. In a few hours Randy would be
home
,
again
,
finally
, at
fucking
last.
Hours passed.
Stan sat at the table picking at his food with a large frown on his face. Turkey, ham, peas, potatoes covered with gravy, and a corn con all on his large paper plate, his mother always told him to over fill his plate so he had leftovers just in case. Everyone was talking around him, discussing the white elephant game and numbers, early present opening, Kyle was silently nodding along while Cartman ranted to him about something and Kenny sat beside Karen at the end of the white flip up tables lined up in the kitchen, surrounded by the adults and their mom. Plates filled to the fullest, almost fuller than Eric’s. Shelly sat in front of him, she shared the same frown but Stan could tell she was saying “I told you.”
He sighs, dropping his fork as he reaches for his cup of orange juice. Filled to the almost brim he sipped it slowly. His mom always told him to drink it instead of the sodas she bought, or anything sugary like that. Randy used to tell him to get a small bottle of O.J. so they could sit on the couch together and watch whatever strange show he wanted to watch while trying to get drunk on late nights little-toddler Stan wouldn’t sleep. Orange juice reminded him of the kinda good old days. It was bought in three bottles so all the kids could drink it instead of soda, or the punch that the adults made.
Two were already used.
After he finished drinking it he set it down and realized how much the drink made his throat burn. Stan rubs his eyes and looks over to the other side of the table where his mom sat. Maybe she was already looking for him to see how he was doing or she really did have super mother powers because she looks back up at him and her smile leans into a frown.
Randy wasn’t gonna show up, and it really broke Stan’s heart. He wanted to feel mad, and just deal with it because Randy never once showed up so why would he now? If he wanted to change then Stan was gonna let him even if that meant he wouldn't be a part of his father’s life anymore.
Everyone goes silent when the doorbell rings.
Stan looks up and sees his mother’s smile crease her face again and she excuses herself quickly.
His heart feels heavy in his chest and it beats crazily too. He hoped that it was who he thought it would be. He hopes Randy would walk in through that door with presents for him and Shelly and he’d let Stan run into his arms like he was a little kid again and he’d hug them both in that bear hug he always did.
Sharon opened the door and crept outside.
They all looked at the Marsh kids before continuing their meals and conversations.
Stan pushed his chair back and stood up. Kyle looked back at him and whispered to him, “Just wait..” Stan shook his head and kept walking, he could feel his best friend’s eyes follow him until he disappeared into the next room, he moved to the window that led into the front lawn and he could see his mother at the end of the driveway talking to.. He smiles slightly and leans his face onto the glass, she was with his dad. He showed up.
He looked nervous, he talked like he was nervous too.. His demeanor was not how Stan remembered it 3 years ago, Randy looked the same, maybe the tilt of his brows was different and his stache was trimmed but he was still
Randy
. He looked almost messy and he held a grocery bag in his hand. No big presents. But maybe just him being there was enough, he didn’t care that he was late. Randy looked up and his eyes widened when they met Stan’s, he glanced away and Sharon looked over her shoulder before smiling and waving softly at him. Then she turned back to her ex husband and said something and next thing Stan knew Randy was waving at him too. Stan waved back slowly.
They talked more before Sharon started to walk back to the front door, Randy followed quickly.
Stan wanted to greet him at the door but something about that made him feel more nervous than he already was. He was excited, he was so glad his dad was home, but facing him face to face was nauseating. So he rushed away and sat back at the dinner table. Kyle smiled at him once he sat down, and Shelly did too, more sadly though, and they watched him stuff his face full of turkey. He reached for his glass before remembering he chugged all of it earlier so he goes to get up again, except he doesn’t because into the room walks his mom and dad. Randy greets Sheila with his bright smile and Gerald with a hand shake. He says hi to the McCormick’s and then he looks around before his eyes land onto Stan and Shelly. He approached them slowly, or maybe it felt like he was walking slowly, because Stan was
so
nervous, he wanted to stand up and run to him, to ask his dad how he had been, how the farm was, ask if he had a girlfriend, something,
anything
. He pushes his chair out again and stands. Randy stops just as Stan meets him halfway.
“Stanley,” He starts, slowly. “Merry Christmas son.”
Stan feels the pinprick of tears threaten him as he watches his father open his arms to hug him, he dives right in and hugs him tightly. Randy hugs him just so tight. He could feel the entire room watching but he doesn’t care. His dad was
here
. He was trying to get better, for himself, even if that wasn’t Stan, he was glad he was bettering himself.
He feels someone wrap their arms around him and without needing to ask who it was or pull away to see he could tell it was Shelly. After the group hug Randy pulled just his daughter in.
It was nice.
He smiled at them both and for once looked like he was alive. His eyes were pure white, and his teeth looked
almost
entirely white, though not perfectly straight. Stan wipes his eyes from the tears.
“Merry Christmas Dad.” He says to him.
Later it was present opening time, Sharon handed each kid their first presents and then she asked Randy to help film a video with their old camera. Stan smiled widely because he knew exactly that it would be once she placed the box in his hands. Kyle had the same grin as he held his present.
They all opened their presents in unison and Cartman exclaimed loudly when he saw he had gotten a new ipad
finally
. Stan opened the box and was greeted with the logo of the headphones he had seen in his mother’s closet. Kyle looked at his half opened present and at his parents as they all stared at him happily, he ripped the wrapping off and shouted a profanity that immediately got Sheila to yell at him for saying it. Stan looked at his present and his mouth fell open. It was a box for shoes but inside it was tickets to a band he and Stan really liked, with the band tees and a new polaroid camera. They shouted excitedly at each other with wide shit eating grins as they showed the tickets to Cartman and Kenny. There were four. Two for them both, and one for Gerald, and an extra. They shared a knowing look because they knew exactly who to invite with them, and even though Eric also liked the band's music and Kenny had a poster of the band that he bought through cutting lawns, Stan and Kyle
knew
Butters would be the best to bring for the adventure. Kenny was given three presents, which made Eric jealous of course, but the three were gifts specifically for him and Karen. One box was new clothing and the other two were toys for Karen and him. (A doll and action figure.)
Stan looked up smiling and only smiled wider when he saw his dad’s face behind the big bulky camera grinning at him. Randy looked around the camera to nod his head to the grocery bag beside him before he also looked around for Shelly, who was thanking Sheila for the new speaker. His children walked over to him and their father handed the camera to their mom. She smiled as she aimed the camera up at them all.
“I know I’ve been gone for a while.. And I don’t really know what type of shit you two like,” He sighed before digging his hand into the bag, “
But
it is Christmas and you guys deserve more than
just
me.” Stan nods slowly as Shelly sat silently unmoving beside him. Stan didn’t care about the presents, he was just glad his dad was
actually
here. Randy pulled out two small wrapped up boxes, he handed Shelly hers first and then Stan. They both opened the small boxes and gasped softly at what was inside them.
Shelly pulled out a necklace and ring, something her mom never bought for her because she didn’t have
that
kind of money. Stan pulled out a dog tag with his name on it and Crimson Dawn, the old band he had back in elementary with Kenny, Jimmy and Butters. And lastly a guitar pick with the same engravings.
“Do you like it?” Randy asks after a moment of silence. Stan nods quickly, turning to his sister who was already putting her jewelry on, he could see her eyes gloss over as she looked up at their dad and nodded. Sharon tapped him on the shoulder after ending the recording and offered to help him put his tag on, he agreed and sat in front of her as she upclipped it and wrapped it around his neck. While Shelly had started hugging Randy thanking him for the gift. This was special.
It was nice.
Later Randy had left to get something to eat again. He left into the kitchen and Sharon followed shortly after. Stan was too busy talking to Kyle about their trip to notice when his dad sat down on the couch with Orange juice in his cup.
Arriving at the front door was scary. It was even worse when his kids were far too quiet while looking at the gifts he bought them. He could feel his heart sink because it felt like he did something wrong. He asked if they liked them and Stan nodded at him happily and Shelly looked taken back but satisfied. It made him feel all kinds of warm, and getting to see his kids again was nice. Shelly was 16 now and far taller than he thought she’d be, same with Stan, only 13 and near her shoulders. Everyone was different.
He was too.
He got up to grab something to eat after a while of everyone’s voices filling the room up comfortably.
“There’s orange juice if you want something to drink.” She tells him softly, he jumps at the sudden noise and turns to face his ex wife.
Randy looks at her with narrow eyes as he puts a slice of ham onto the paper plate he picked up. “I was gonna get a bit of the punch..” She shook her head, grabbing him a cup.
“It’s spiked.”
“Oh.”
Sharon walked around him to open the fridge to grab the clear bottle of juice she had mentioned before. “We bought it for the kids, you can have it if you want it.” Randy took the bottle from her and nodded slowly, he twisted the green lid off the top and flicked it onto the counter, he rose it and tilted it over his cup before he watched it fill his glass intently. Sharon left him to it as she walked out the room back to where their visitors were. He took a sip of the juice and smiled to himself being filled with the feeling of nostalgia coursing through his veins. He put the lid back onto the bottle before putting it back into the fridge beside the milk carton. He exited the kitchen feeling a small set of eyes on him as he sat back at his spot on the couch.
Orange juice.
Stan liked it, and got a cup of it too. He sat beside his dad and sipped it slowly as the TV turned on and someone started a Christmas film. He never turned away from the screen to check who it was, but he could see the way Randy’s eyes lit up when Elf’s title screen played.
He hadn’t realized when he’d fallen asleep but once he opened his eyes he could see the house was basically empty. Their guest gone and the gift wrappers cleaned up from their openings. Shelly was already gone into her room and Stan could hear his parents talking in the kitchen.
He doesn’t bother to go and check instead he gets up, rubs his eyes, then he carefully walks up the stairs to his room. His mouth felt dry but he was too tired to really care much, he’d take care of it with a cup of O.J in the morning.