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Steven stood outside by the balcony, mentally preparing himself for what the gems have to say to him once he goes inside.
He knew he was in for it, after the gems found out what he did to the van and nearly got him and his dad killed? Yeah, there was no escaping this one.
And well, he deserves it doesn’t he?
Steven hadn’t even realized how fast his heart was beating until he heard the voice in his head.
Breathe Steven, it’s gonna be okay.
Steven paused, then he scoffed lightly, it was his gem, Pink. He was usually the one to try and calm him down and keep him in place whenever he felt like lashing out or if he was having a panic attack.
”Yeah? How can you be so sure? I’m positive the gems are gonna yell at me to no end and tell me how much of a disappointment I am and how I should be locked up somewhere and-“
Stop that, they’re your family, they care about you deeply, I’m sure it will go well.
He knows it won’t go well, deep down he has a feeling Pink knows that as well but just wants to comfort him in the best way possible. He sighs and walked inside anyway.
Breathe. He did.
“Steven!” Pearl shouted.”We really need to talk.”
Steven had to hold back from rolling his eyes, he just nodded and walked over to the couch where amethyst was standing. He ignored the nervous yet somewhat reassuring look she shot him and sat down near the edge and hugged himself.“How could this happen?” Pearl began pacing back and forth in front of him.”You crashed the van with Greg inside, you know how fragile he is.” Pearl turned towards him.Steven really didn’t wanna be there, he was starting to regret his decision of coming inside in the first place, he shouldn’t went for a walk to clear his mind, maybe him and pink could’ve had a talk, usually talking with him helped a lot.“These pink outburst of yours are getting out of hand!”Steven froze, He began to shake he felt his heartbeat getting faster as he tried to control his breathing..”It’s not an OUTBURST!” He shouted as his form began to glow pink and his body puffed up.He was starting to get pissed. He could tell Pink felt his rage.
Steven-
Pearl took a step back as Steven began to go back to normal, he put his hand to his head, he had a very bad headache and Pearls voice was doing him no good, it was like nails scratching against a chalk board. He suddenly felt extremely guilty for thinking like that.
“See! This is exactly what I’m talking about!” She then gave him such a saddening look.”what’s happening to you…?”
Steven was still shaking slightly as he tried to stand up he tried his hardest not to throw Pearl a glare.”Nothing it’s…nothing.” He said dismissively, he really didn’t wanna talk about it, they just won’t respect that will they?
That’s because they care about you, they want to be there for you, and it’s not nothing Steven. This is a serious situation and you need help.
He slowly began making his way towards the stairs ignoring Pinks words.
“St-Steven!?” Pearls loud voice cut in.
“Where do you think you’re going! We are not through talking about-“ Pearl was cut off by the pink wall that summoned in front of her, she began banging on it.”Steven! Drop this wall!” She demanded.
Steven turned towards Pearl and he felt a smirk almost playing at his lips until he caught himself, he started feeling guilty again.
He rushed over to Pearl and began to apologize.”uh! Pearl! Im sorry, I- I’m trying!” He shook his head.
The wall dropped as he took in a shaky breathe,”I just…need some, space…ok?” He practically pleaded, he went back over to the steps.”I’ll be in my room.” Just then Amethyst’s voice cut in frantically.
“Not so fast my dude! You gotta tell us what’s going on!” Steven looked at her, she was so small, she looked at him almost pleadingly begging for answers that he didn’t wanna give.
“It looks like Steven is trying to avoid a serious discussion about this altogether.” Garnet said, she had been quiet this entire time. Steven wished she had stayed quiet because something inside of him, something boiling hot, rage, that’s all he felt. took over his body once she said those words.
Uh oh…
“No! I’m NOT!” Stevens voice ranged through out the entire temple, cracking the floor and the walls, some of the paintings began crashing down from the walls. he began shaking on the stair case, his headache getting worse as he put his hand back over it.
Gosh, why were they being so annoying!? Couldn’t they just leave him the hell alone?! Is that too much to ask for!
The gems all flinched at his outburst and began getting more worried, while Steven was getting more angry.
“Steven! You have got to calm down and talk to us!” Garnet shouted.
“Just chill man…”Steven was shaking violently on the stairs now, tears of frustration were streaming down his face, he wasn’t facing any of them, he didn’t want them to see him like this, he looked weak, pathetic he thought.You’re pathetic Universe! The gems slowly but surely began advancing towards Steven, all their hearts filled with worry, concern, hurt, confusion etc.“Steven…we need to do something about this before someone gets hurt.” Pearl began reaching out to him.“Don’t let this power control you, you’re better than this.” Garnet said, getting closer.
Steven wait-
That did it. Steven ignored his gems protest and turned around to face them, face covered with tears and snot, he was shaking like a leaf, he began breathing rapidly.
The gems froze, but it was too late, Steven already snapped.
”LEAVE ME ALONE!” He raged. He felt so tired, so drained, why couldn’t they just leave him alone? He wanted to be alone…he deserved to be alone. Forever.
He wanted to get away from them, they were making him lose control, he felt his rage boiling over. If he didn’t leave now he’s gonna regret it.
His eyes were shut but he opened them and noticed time had slowed down…he paused…no…”I’m speeding up again.” He breathed out. He looked at the gems, they were all advancing towards him very very slowly.
He shook his head finally able to make his decision.”I have to get out of here.” He then took off out the front door, he was practically running for his life.
Where are you going?
“Anywhere but here.” Steven huffed out, he felt really tired, his legs felt like they were gonna fall off any moment. He still had headache, I don’t think shouting helped in any way.
You can’t keep running away whenever things don’t go your way.
Steven ignored him. All that was on his mind was getting away from the gems, away from his home, this city. He couldn’t be here anymore. He didn’t want to.
He was running so fast he didn’t even notice the rocks that were on the ground, he tripped over them and landed face first into the sand, hitting his head pretty hard.
Ouch…
Steven groaned, his vision was going in and out, he tried to sit up but the dizziness was way to much for him to handle, his head went back down into the sand as his vision blacked, he lost consciousness.
updated July 14th 2023
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Silence filled the entire temple, No one moved. It felt like all the air was sucked out of the temple.
The gems were all still standing by the door looking outside, a million thoughts were running through each of their heads.
What the heck just happened? And where is Steven?
Amethyst decided to break the silence.”That went well.” Pearl turned towards the purple gem with an annoyed look.”Amethyst this isn’t the time!” She looked back at the door and put her hand over it.
“Steven is out there somewhere and we’re just standing here doing nothing! His outburst are getting worst! He could hurt someone!” Pearls voice shrieked.
Amethyst rolled her eyes, of course Pearl had to make her comment such a big deal,”Gee P, you don’t say…I already know that!”
“I witnessed the outburst myself! I know they’re getting worst, and in case you haven’t noticed but I’m worried about Steven just as much as you!”
Pearl looked at her. “Amethyst I’m not in the mood for your sarcasm.”
Amethyst growled, “Why you-“
“ENOUGH!” The two gems froze and turned towards their leader, both of their mouths snapping shut. Garnet looked furious.
Uh oh, Pearl and Amethyst thought.
Garnet was facing both of them, her body was stiff it was slightly trembling after the events that just happened. She took off her visor and looked into the others eyes.
She took a deep breathe.”Pearl is right, Steven is out there somewhere and we don’t know where he is or if he’s okay, but you two standing here arguing isn’t helping.” The other two gems began looking guilty.
Garnet was right, they had to get it together now if they wanna find Steven.
Pearl turned towards amethyst and gave her an apologetic smile.”Garnet is right, I’m sorry Amethyst picking on you for every little thing isn’t gonna get us anywhere.” Amethyst returned her smile.”yeah, I’m sorry too, I should try to hold back on the sarcasm in situations like this.”
“We really do need to find Steven, I hope wherever he is, he’s alright.”
Garnet put her visor back in and cleared her throat, catching the other twos attention.”Good, now we need to split up and look around beach city, he could be anywhere, and this could take awhile.”
Pearls eyes lit up.”Oh! We can call Connie and Greg, I’m sure they’ll be some sort of use in helping us find steven.”
“Yeah, I mean they have the right to know what’s going on anyway, we kinda left them hanging in the dark for a while.” Amethyst scratched the back of her neck nervously.Garnet smiled at them.”Alright, amethyst you call Greg, Pearl call Connie, as soon as they get here we’ll give them a run down of what happened then we’ll split up.”The two nodded and began pulling out their phones to contact the two humans.
Garnet walked up to the window and put his hand on it, looking outside.”Oh Steven.”
_____________________________________
Steven
Steven began stirring slightly but didn’t get up.
Steven!
Steven groaned, he turned his head to the side, still not getting up.
Steven!
Steven ignored it-
STEVEN!
“AH-“ Steven launched up, his ears were practically ringing. He put his hand over his head, he had a very bad headache, maybe he had a concussion?
Steven then finally began looking around his surroundings, it was pitch dark, he couldn’t see anything or anyone around. He began freaking out on the inside but tried to stay calm as he tried to stand on his shaky legs.
“Hello!?” His voice ranged out and echoed lightly.”What the?” Suddenly he felt a pair of arms holding him tight around his torso, up under his arms.
“Wha- hey! Let me go!” Steven began trashing around, he looked down and noticed the arms were pink, they were glowing, a pink aura surrounded them. He immediately knew who it was and looked up at the person.It was Pink. His gem half, but what on earth was he doing here? Had they unfused? “Careful Steven.” Pink helped him stand on his legs, Steven gave pink a huge grin and threw his arms around him.”Pink! I can’t believe it’s you! What are you doing here! Better yet…where are we?!” Pink returned the hug, he held Steven close and squeezed him tightly. “ We’re in our mind.” Steven gave him a confused look, but nodded anyway, he was kinda understanding the situation.“Oh, I guess that would explain why it’s so dark, and…empty.” Both the Steven’s looked around, both seemingly lost in thought.”So we didn’t unfuse.” He muttered.Steven turned towards pink and saw that he was looking at him, pinks facial expressions were blank, no emotion showing at all.”What?” Steven asked, he felt his face heat up a bit. Pinks small diamond pupil eyes were practically digging into his soul. “Are you hurt?” Pink asked, looking Steven up and down, all around.
Steven shook his head.”No I’m okay, actually I feel a lot better now that you’re here.” Steven admitted, his cheeks still burning.
Pink squeezed him a little tighter, not saying a word. Steven knows that he understands and is happy to hear that.
“You need to tell the others.” Stevens head snapped towards Pink.”Wha-“
“ Enough, as soon as you wake up you need to finally be truthful and tell the others how you’ve been feeling. This isn’t healthy for you and you can see it’s doing you no good.”
Pinks expression didn’t change but it looked a little bit more…stern?
“ You know you are my main priority so seeing you like this doesn’t feel good on my behalf. I want you to feel better but clearly I can’t help you on my own can I.” It wasn’t a question, Steven knew that and of course. Pink was right.Steven looked away as pink continued. ”I know you feel like a monster, someone you feel like no one can trust or be around and you want to fix everything constantly, but you can’t do that all the time you deserve breaks too, you deserve to have flaws and make mistakes Steven, no one is gonna judge you. Especially not the gems, Connie or your- our father.”
Steven suddenly felt guilty, he should be ashamed, he shouldn’t have to be told this, because deep down he knows this already he just won’t accept it because of his negative mind set.
But he’s too out of control, he can’t control his anger or his emotions really. it’s too much, he doesn’t know how to handle it, he wants to get better, he knows how to fix everything so why can’t he fix himself?What’s so hard about that?
“Pink I- you’re right…I’m sorry.” Steven looked at pinks face, he felt tears began to spring up into his eyes as he held onto Pink.”I just- I can’t help it yknow? I feel like these new powers have done nothing but destroy whatever good was left in me and made me a danger to this world. How can I tell my family if I feel like they don’t want me around? I feel like I’m being left behind Pink.”
“They all have new and good things going on in their lives, oh so good! I hate feeling like I’m being left in the dust. I’m happy that they’re happy! I just can’t help but feel so lost.” He paused.
“I just wanna go back to being me! I’m Steven Universe! I help people I don’t hurt…them…?” Stevens voice trailed off, confused.
What was he doing, he wasn’t helping anyone he was hurting everyone! I mean he literally trashed and destroyed the house, TWICE! because he let his emotions get the best of him and started ranting to a cactus for gosh sakes!
He crashed his dads van and had a huge argument with him, practically killing the both of them, he couldn’t control his anger, he had said some stuff he immediately regretted but didn’t wanna stick around and deal with the damage he caused.He almost crushed Connie and Dr. Maheswaran at the hospital because he couldn’t control his body morphing into a giant glowing pink version of himself, he practically had the hospital crumbling down because of his emotions over getting rejected by Connie, it was destroying him inside and out.He was a mess wasn’t he? A coward he was, so pathetic. Worthless!Steven hadn’t even realized he began to cry, as he felt Pinks arms tighten around his body, pulling him in. Steven didn’t know why he won’t let anyone help him, but he needs it quick.Pink is trying the best he can and Steven is super appreciative to Pink, day and night. But he doesn’t think he will be enough to keep these demon thoughts away. He doesn’t deserve anyone’s kindness, especially not Pinks.
“Pink, I’m awful.” Steven choked out. Pink just stared at him, not saying anything, he just continued to hold Steven.”I don’t deserve your kindness, I don’t deserve anyone’s, I constantly lash out and get angry, I lose control and destroy things, all I can feel these days is rage, pure rage, it’s terrible…but sometimes I enjoy it. I enjoy being angry and lashing out, making people finally afraid, everyone finally sees who I really am and what power I hold!” Steven raised his fist.
“I can finally show everyone I’m not the weak little 12 year old they all knew and loved so much! I’m finally stronger, and stronger than ever! I’m a diamond! I have the power! I do!” Steven began laughing, his laughing got louder and more hysterical.Tears began rolling down his face as he began gasping for air, his laughter soon turned into sobs.”I’m so tired, so damn tired Pink, I’m not a hero, I don’t fix things, I destroy them, I keep on breaking and breaking until there is nothing left.”
Steven broke down, in Pinks arms.
Pink hadn’t said anything that entire time, but he didn’t need to, he was there to listen and observe. His main priority is to comfort and heal Steven the best way he can, and that’s exactly what he’s gonna do.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Okay listen, I am alive! I’m super sorry for not giving out a new chapter yet it’s just I’ve been extremely busy plus I got classes again so I’m rarely ever free.And a lot of other things has been going on and I’m just super distracted so I’m gonna put this story on hiatus for a little while. I promise I’ll get back to it one day, I still love Steven universe will my body, heart and soul no doubt.I may even start making some one shots sooner or later, but I decided instead of just up and leaving I’d give you guys an update. I have been working on chapter 3 and 4 but I can’t get them done anytime soon because of my schedule.I actually am thinking about rewriting the first 2 chapters anyway, so I think that will be better.I’ll be back though! Btw thank you all so much for all the kudos it means a lot that you guys even liked the little bit I put out!Even the comments I read were super sweet, thank you all, I love all of you! 💓💓💓Anyways I’ll see you guys around, wish I luck on my classes 😩
Byeeee!