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Jiang Cheng is 18 years old when he first meets Lan Xichen. He wishes he could say it were under normal, or more pleasant circumstances, but the first time they meet it’s because his brother is in trouble.“Wei Wuxian!!” he yells, coming down the corridor like he’s on fire. He watches as his brother straightens up at the sight of him. His eyes going wide and fearful for a second, and then they turn into little crescents as he smiles, touching the back of his head sheepishly.
“Wei Wuxian! The principle called my father, telling me you were in trouble. I was only gone for half an hour, what did you manage to get yourself into in half an hour’s time??”“Why do you assume it’s my fault?” Wei Wuxian asks, looking offended for no good reason, Jiang Cheng thinks. It is his fault. It’s always his fault. He gives him a deadpan stare and gathers his breath as he intends to give him the scolding of a lifetime.“Wei Wuxia-!” but he stops himself when he sees the door opening and no other than number one student Lan Wangji glides out out the principle’s office, almost soundlessly. His face is the epitome of indifference, until he lays eyes on Wei Wuxian and then Jiang Cheng sees the expression turn ever so frosty. He watches how Wei Wuxian stiffens next to him, and then smiles tentatively at him. Lan Wangji does not return the smile.“Whatever my brother did to you, I’m sorry.” Jiang Cheng says, hurried and panicked. He did not get sent to this school so far away from home only to get kicked out because of Wei Wuxian’s thoughtless shenanigans. Lan Wangji is the second son of the Lan family, a model student, virtuous and disciplined. And his uncle is the principle of this school. He can very well have Jiang Cheng kicked out on account of offending his nephew. Next to him Wei Wuxian balks.“Why are you apologizing, Jiang Cheng? This has nothing to do with you. Besides it wasn’t even my fault!” Wei Wuxian says, crossing his arms in front of his chest like an obstinate child. But before Jiang Cheng can scold him further for not showing the Lan boy some respect, someone opens the door to the principle’s office.“They’re just young boys. It’s in their nature to be a little bit mischievous. Don’t be too hard on them.” A soft voice says as he walks out of the office, coming to a stop when he sees the three of them standing there. The owner of the voice is probably the most beautiful man Jiang Cheng has ever seen. He is tall and well-built. He has a kind, pleasant face and even features. He looks at Jiang Cheng with doe eyes and a small, warm smile playing on his lips. Jiang Cheng feels like he’s stepped into another world for a second.The person the beautiful man had been talking to is none other than the principle himself: Lan Qiren, who is watching all of the boys with less of a smile and more of a disdainful stare.
“Wei Wuxian, you may enter.” he says curt, and Jiang Cheng tears his eyes away from the beautiful stranger in front of him to go in with Wei Wuxian, the way he always does. But a wrinkled hand stops him with a gesture to stay put.“Not you, Jiang Cheng. As I understand it, you had nothing to do with what happened. I will speak to Wei Wuxian only.”Jiang Cheng is left standing outside like an idiot. More so because he actually has no clue what has happened.“Hello. My name is Lan Xichen.” the man says, still with that pleasant smile on his face. And Jiang Cheng doesn’t know where to look. He only knows that if he stares too long he’s going to start blushing.“Jiang Cheng.” Jiang Cheng says, doesn’t know what to do with himself underneath that warm gaze. He fidgets with his hands a little, shifts his weight from one foot to the other.“Nice to meet you.” Lan Xichen reaches out a hand for Jiang Cheng to take. It’s unexpected, but a welcome gesture. A hand like a life line. A hand that grounds him in the moment, to the present and gives his restless body something to do. He’s about to answer ‘likewise’ or something to that effect when the man starts talking again.“I hear our brothers have been in a little bit of a spat.” he says to Jiang Cheng, his tone light-hearted, almost like it amuses him. His playful smile indicates that that is probably the case.“Brother.” Lan Wangji says, a warning tone. Lan Xichen seems to ignore him.Another warm smile, soft and friendly shoots Jiang Cheng’s way.“Wei Wuxian has a tendency to get himself into trouble.” Jiang Cheng huffs, again reminded of how he’s so tired of his shenanigans and how he always manages to put his foot in his mouth. “I don’t know what he did but I do apologize on his behalf.”A chuckle, deep, warm and soft comes out of Lan Xichen’s mouth, and then a hand to Jiang Cheng’s head, ruffling his hair playfully.“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure they’ll work it out just fine.”“I’m not that sure.” Jiang Cheng hears Lan Wangji mumble, but it doesn’t seem to faze Lan Xichen in the slightest. He just elbows his little brother, also playfully and with another warm chuckle. The sound like trickling honey. Jiang Cheng feels some type of way about it. Right now he’s too stunned by this entire experience to even speak.“Well, I should be going. I need to get back to the office. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”Lan Wangji gives his brother a little nod but otherwise looks just as stoic as ever.“It was nice meeting you, Jiang Cheng.” Lan Xichen says with a wave of a hand.“Ah, yeah, same.” Jiang Cheng answers like the distracted idiot he is. He feels his face flush, finally letting his blood flow in any direction. A glance askance at Lan Wangji, but the other doesn’t meet his eyes, he just stares after his brother for a second and then turns and leaves without saying a word. * * * Later on Jiang Cheng is deeply embarrassed by what had just happened outside the principle’s office. The first time Lan Xichen smiles at Jiang Cheng he feels like he had been sitting underneath a dark cloud on a cold day, only for the clouds to suddenly part and give way to the warming rays of the sun, a warm breeze heating up his cheeks and cherry blossom petals flowing through the air. It’s ridiculous! All these maudlin emotions for someone that much older than him!? Not to mention completely out of Jiang Cheng’s league. He grumbles sourly. Well, whatever. It’s not like they’ll ever see each other again. Unless his brother keeps antagonizing Lan Wangji and he keeps getting dragged into it, that is. Jiang Cheng vows to do his best to keep Wei Wuxian from bothering Lan Wangji. He is determined.Of course he fails miserably.When they’d just arrived at the Cloud Recesses High it had only been him and Wei Wuxian keeping each other company. Gossiping about other students in the backs of classrooms. But somehow in art class, Wei Wuxian managed to make friends with someone called Nie Huaisang who was caught drawing spicy manhua instead of doing the assignment. Of course his brother would befriend the only other rule-breaking person in the entire school. Wei Wuxian of course, compliments him on his great artwork and then proceeds to ask if Nie Huaisang takes commissions.“Oh? What’s the subject?” Nie Huaisang asks, cocking his head to the side, curiously.“You know Lan Zan?”Nie Huaisang cocks his head to the other side, looking clueless for a few moments.
“Oh! You mean Lan Wangji? The number one student?”“That’s the one!”“You want me to draw a picture of Lan Wangji?”“In your special style of course.”Nie Huaisang looks like he doesn’t understand. “But. You know I only draw erotica, right?”A mischievous smile spreads on Wei Wuxian’s face as he nods slowly.
“Oh, I know.” he says pointedly and Nie Huaisang picks up his fan from the table and starts fanning himself profusely.“I-I don’t think I can do that.”“Why not? It’s easy, just draw what you would normally draw and put Lan Zan’s face on it. Like this one.” Wei Wuxian points at a very explicit drawing in Nie Huaisang’s erotica novel, this one featuring two dudes, one sitting up on a luxurious divan, the other straddled in his lap, throwing his head back in pleasure. Jiang Cheng only catches a glimpse of it and frowns, not really understanding the appeal of such things.“Oh..eh. I don’t know.” Nie Huaisang hesitates. “But then, who would the other person be?” he asks out of pure curiosity.Wei Wuxian points to himself, framing his face cutely. “Yours truly~”“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng chides. How was he raised with a brother so shameless?“Don’t worry, I’m not going to show anyone.” Wei Wuxian says, waving away Jiang Cheng’s concerns.“Then what do you need it for? Huh? If not to raise trouble?”“It’s just a special gift for a special friend.” Wei Wuxian smiles devilishly.Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.Nie Huaisang fans himself profusely.
“You know what, no. No, no, no. I can’t. It would be too weird! You’re my friend! I don’t want to draw you naked!!” Nie Huaisang says and looks like he’ll faint from the mere thought. “And I’m sorry but I fear Lan Wangji far too much to do that to him.”“You mean you respect him too much?” Jiang Cheng asks.“No. I mean fear. The guy is so intimidating, don’t you think?” Nie Huaisang says.“What? Lan Zan’s scary?” Wei Wuxian laughs “What are you talking about? He’s just shy.”Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes again. Of course Wei Wuxian would see him that way.“Whatever. If you won’t do it, I’ll just draw it myself. I’m not half bad at drawing, you know!” he brags and borrows Nie Huaisang’s art supplies and gets to work. All Jiang Cheng can hope for is that by the time he’s done with whatever abomination he’s about to produce on that paper that he’ll have thought better of it and then give it up. But then again, Jiang Cheng has never had much hope when it comes to Wei Wuxian. * * * Despite Jiang Cheng’s insistence that Wei Wuxian leave Lan Wangji alone, he is determined to force his presence onto the top student and risk Jiang Cheng’s mental health, every single day. It takes every bit of self restraint for Jiang Cheng not to throttle Wei Wuxian every time he provokes Lan Wangji.As he watches Wei Wuxian stare at Lan Wangji with unbridled joy at lunch while he picks up his “present” and starts opening it, he can only sigh in exasperation and furrow his brows in disapproval. His obsession with Lan Wangji is at best unhealthy and at worst downright damaging to the both of them, and Jiang Cheng doesn’t understand the appeal of continuing harassing him.The trio watch from the neighboring table how Lan Wangji opens the envelope Wei Wuxian gave him. His delicate hands work the envelope open and he calmly takes out the drawing. His normally stoic expression turns into shock for a second, only for long enough for his eyes to widen and for his lower lip to draw open in a gasp. He collects himself quickly, aware of his surroundings, surprising the trio and more than anyone Wei Wuxian who deflates a little at Lan Wangji’s lack of reaction.“Hey! Lan Zan!” Wei Wuxian exclaims, still expecting to gain some sort of reaction out of him. When their eyes meet Lan Wangji gives him a frosty stare. No different from all the other frosty stares he gives Wei Wuxian, if you ask Jiang Cheng. “Lan Zan, what do you think about my excellent art work?” Wei Wuxian smiles, happy and mischievous. If he were a dog his tail would be wagging right now. He bounds over to Lan Wangji’s table excitedly, points at the drawing of Lan Wangji in the throes of passion, situated beneath Wei Wuxian, missionary style. “That’s you” he says happily and then points to the one topping him “and that’s me.”Jiang Cheng has bit his tongue thus far, but he thinks Wei Wuxian has overstepped his boundaries this time. He’s ready to give him a verbal lashing and/or implore to his brother to leave Lan Wangji alone. He’s also half ready to throw himself in front of Wei Wuxian because Lan Wangji does look a little bit like he wants to throw him out the window right now. But instead of throwing Wei Wuxian out the window Lan Wangji just calmly considers the offending drawing one more time and then looks at Wei Wuxian with a thoughtful expression and says “I see.” He gathers his stuff, taking the drawing with him as he leaves the cafeteria, presumably to go to his next class.Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng exchange shocked expressions.“Wait. He kept it?” Nie Huaisang asks. Jiang Cheng can’t believe it either. As for his brother, this actually has a devastating effect on him. Wei Wuxian spends the rest of the day sulking and grumbling to himself that he was unable to ruffle Lan Wangji’s feathers.“Maybe he’s become desensitized to your outrageous behavior?” Jiang Cheng suggests, in hopes of getting his brother to calm down. “You’ve annoyed him so much so that he doesn’t even find it that shocking anymore. You’re just a mild annoyance. Like a bug circling above his head making noise but is easy to tune out?”Wei Wuxian gives him a pouty expression for an answer, which only satisfies Jiang Cheng because that means he doesn’t have a good comeback. Finally, maybe now there will be some kind of peace and quiet. Jiang Cheng has a math exam to pass.“I can’t believe him~~” Wei Wuxian whines during the rest of the afternoon. “I can’t believe he didn’t even give me a proper reaction. He didn’t flip a table or try to hit me or anything!?”“Do you want to get hit?” Jiang Cheng asks incredulously.“No. But I thought he’d do something more than that...”Wei Wuxian is actually miserable. Maybe this was the best thing for him, Jiang Cheng thinks. It certainly seems to calm him down for the rest of the day. Though he is mellow and sulky and Jiang Cheng is a little bit worried he’s becoming depressed.They are finishing up in art class, the last class of the day, thank the heavens above. Wei Wuxian has been drawing sad bunnies for an hour, Nie Huaisang is back to drawing smutty manhua as soon as the teacher turns his back and Jiang Cheng is trying not to fail this sculpture project he has to finish this semester. Jiang Cheng likes art class, not because of his outstanding abilities or anything, because those he does not have. It is the relaxed atmosphere, the lack of strict paying attention every single minute to some drab subject he has no interest in. Art class is practical and Jiang Cheng enjoys the time he gets to work with his hands.Five minutes before they are dismissed from class Lan Wangji strides into the room, coming from another class. He slaps down a paper in front of Wei Wuxian. Right over his sad bunnies.It’s that lewd drawing again. Curiosity overtakes Jiang Cheng and he leans in to look at it, Nie Huaisang leaning over his shoulder. His eyes shoot up in pure shock when he sees the drawing. It is almost the same as before, but Lan Wangji has made some alterations to it. Now it is Wei Wuxian’s face on the bottom, his face contorted in ecstasy, his face depicted in minute detail with immaculate accuracy, and Lan Wangji himself as the top. His face impassive but with a hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth.“There. That is more accurate.” Lan Wangji says with a deadpan stare, regarding Wei Wuxian’s absolutely devastated expression with some sort of satisfaction. Wei Wuxian is speechless, his entire face is red, his hands that are holding the drawing have started shaking. He only stutters for a little bit only to stop and keep staring at Lan Wangji as he turns around and leaves the room, gliding off like an absolute boss.Jiang Cheng is impressed. No one has ever succeeded in rendering Wei Wuxian silent. Jiang Cheng looks at the drawing again, despite being kind of off-put by it, he has to admit…“He’s right. That is more accurate.”Wei Wuxian is too flustered to speak for the rest of the day. Nie Huaisang just giggles intermittently behind his fan, hiding his giggles from sight. Somehow even though it is nice to have a break from Wei Wuxian’s incessant rambling and scheming and to see him finally be put in his place, there is something that tells Jiang Cheng that from this moment on things will never be the same again. * * * Jiang Cheng is not good at romance. He wouldn’t recognize romance if it hit him in the face. But even he’s picking up on the vibes between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.An entire weekend has passed since Wei Wuxian has last seen Lan Wangji and during that time he has done nothing more than flush red in the face, sigh intermittently and ask questions like “Do you think Lan Zan is into guys?” - subtlety has never been Wei Wuxian’s style. And then come next Monday Jiang Cheng’s suspicions are confirmed when Wei Wuxian approaches Lan Wangji alone, not annoying him, but blushing as soon as the other acknowledges his presence. He slides over another one of his drawings. Lan Wangji opens it apprehensively but when he looks at the drawing his lips pull up into a small, fond smile. Jiang Cheng knows it’s the drawing of the bunnies that he spent working on in art class last time. He caught Wei Wuxian putting it into his folder this morning. Apparently the bunnies and Wei Wuxian’s soft spoken words renders Lan Wangji a little more amenable to Wei Wuxian’s presence for the moment.For some reason, in the week that follows this softer approach seems to be working on Lan Wangji who still looks as stoic as ever, except he’s now not taking Wei Wuxian to be punished every fifteen minutes. He lets him prattle on about inane things, giving a nod every once in a while to show that he’s listening. And occasionally gives him a generous “Mn.” for an answer.Wow. Jiang Cheng never thought he’d see the day.Nie Huaisang though, doesn’t seem as surprised.
“How long until the two of them announce their relationship you think?”“What!?” Jiang Cheng says, looking over as Wei Wuxian parades in front of Lan Wangji with eyes like crescents as he smiles wide and pretty and laughs coquettishly at everything he says. As few as those words are.“It’s just a matter of time. Wei Wuxian has been into Lan Wangji for ages. Haven’t you noticed?” Nie Huaisang asks, looking curiously at Jiang Cheng, hiding half his face behind one of his hundreds of nature themed fans, this one depicting pretty lilac blossoms. Jiang Cheng isn’t good at flowers, doesn’t know the name of them. But he likes the color.“Unfortunately I have noticed.” Jiang Cheng says, crossing his arms in front of his chest. And yeah it may have been as recent as this week, but he noticed!“I say it’ll be less than a week until we’re third-wheeling on their dates.” Nie Huaisang winks. Jiang Cheng frowns.“That soon? No way.”“Mark my words.” Nie Huaisang giggles. “But when that time comes you have to promise me never to leave me alone with them. I find them cute, but there’s only so much fluff one can take before the teeth start rotting, you know?”Jiang Cheng agrees. He reaches out a hand and they shake to make the pact. * * * They’re really a strange group of friends, Jiang Cheng thinks. Wei Wuxian, despite never paying attention in class and always goofing off always manages to get top scores on tests. He’s so annoying. Then we have his almost boyfriend – Lan Wangji who pays minute attention to every detail in class, a diligent student who takes his studies with utmost seriousness and has the grades to prove it. As a complete opposite to Lan Wangji we have Nie Huaisang who spends most of his time reading and writing romance novels, dreaming his high school years away and is reluctant to put in any effort into any other subject than creative writing and art class, during which he spends most of his time drawing smutty manhua scenes. Jiang Cheng thinks he falls somewhere in-between Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang. He takes his studies seriously and he tries his hardest. But he somehow always ends up with mediocre grades, much to his parent’s frustration. As a last-ditch effort to better his grades his parents had sent him and Wei Wuxian to study at The Cloud Recesses High. A private high school with a reputation for discipline and promises to better their student’s grades so they can get accepted at top universities. Wei Wuxian hardly needs to worry about getting in to a top university and Jiang Cheng’s parents had almost separated them because of this, but even if he’ll never admit to it, Jiang Cheng needs his brother and best friend there with him to be able to endure the remaining year of torture before he can say good bye to high school forever.Except, as of late, his brother has spent almost all of his extracurricular time with Lan Wangji. The two haven’t made anything official yet, and Jiang Cheng prides himself in knowing that if they did, Jiang Cheng would be the first Wei Wuxian would tell. He doesn’t even know how far they’ve gone. Not that he really wants to know, but he suspects that they haven’t even kissed yet. Or perhaps even acknowledged that they have actual feelings for each other. There’s something sweet about it, Jiang Cheng thinks. He doesn’t usually pay attention to his brother’s many fleeting crushes, but something about Lan Wangji feels a little more serious. So, when Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang are invited for an afternoon at the Lan family home to hang out at their pool, Jiang Cheng decides he’s going to be a good sport about it and support his brother’s romantic endeavors. Even if it’s just hanging out with them like an awkward third wheel.Another thought also enters his mind when he accepts the invitation. He does wonder, ever so briefly, if Lan Xichen is going to be there…

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Their school The Cloud Recesses High is named after the pretty little town, situated high up in the mountains, surrounded by lush green landscape, where pretty flowers bloom in all colors. There is a small waterfall that envelops the town in a white mist, an abundance of beauty all around. Jiang Cheng likes it more than he wants to admit. So when the three of them receive an invitation to visit Lan Wangji’s home and have a nice day by the pool Jiang Cheng feels a mixture of nervousness and excitement.The three of them Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang arrive at the Lan family home about 5 minutes after they were supposed to be there. Which is actually not as late as it could have been considering how long Wei Wuxian took to choose an outfit. Jiang Cheng getting more and more annoyed the longer he took trying to choose between the similar black shirts, black jeans and red flannel.“You look like you’re going to a rock concert, not to someone’s home.” Nie Huaisang had said and then proceeded to choose an ensemble that made him look a little bit more presentable than usual while still looking casual. “This morning was scorching and it’s not going to get better, so go for light colors.” he’d ordered and Wei Wuxian, feeling lost in a sea of clothing, obeyed for once.Arriving at the Lan family home and seeing Lan Wangji’s face seems to have completely put him at ease though. They walk through the living room which is sparsely decorated, there is a music room, door wide open, and filled with instruments; piano, a guquin, some flutes and a couple of guitars. The kitchen looks tidy and houses plenty of shiny appliances. They pass a couple of rooms on their way to Lan Wangji’s room which seems to be unimportant enough not to need an explanation. But Wei Wuxian is curious about every single thing.“What’s this room?”“That is uncle’s room, for when he comes to visit.”“Oh. Neat!” Wei Wuxian says, even though he himself can not imagine having to live with the school principal.“And what’s that room?” Wei Wuxian points to a room opposite Lan Wangji’s.“That is brother’s room.”Jiang Cheng’s heart skips a beat. Lan Xichen’s room. He remembers meeting Lan Wangji’s brother outside of the principal’s office, his presence immediately arrested his attention. How his smile was so nice. His kind words. Jiang Cheng shakes himself out of it.“Is your brother home now?” Nie Huaisang asks.“No. He is at work. But he will be back later.”That might be for the best, Jiang Cheng thinks. He might not see him today. He tries his hardest not to feel the nonsensical feeling of disappointment that makes the corners of his lips turn down a smidge.“What’s this room?” Wei Wuxian asks.“That is the bathroom.” Lan Wangji answers gravely. Wei Wuxian laughs.“Oh! That can actually be useful to know for later.” he winks.They spend a little time in Lan Wangji’s room. Wei Wuxian going through every single item on his bookshelf with genuine interest. There’s mostly books in there, advanced math, advanced biology, some classic novels, poetry books and a few books on musical theory. The room reflects the person inhabiting it perfectly. His bed is pristine, everything neat and dust free and symmetrical.“Would you like to go to the pool now?” Lan Wangji says after standing there for a few awkward moments, very likely not used to having the privacy of his room so thoroughly scrutinized by anyone not belonging to family. Jiang Cheng takes pity on him.“That sounds lovely.” he says, and Nie Huaisang agrees quietly behind him. Wei Wuxian looks like he wants to stay longer in Lan Wangji’s room, but is forced to follow the will of the majority.When they trail down the hall Jiang Cheng hears Lan Wangji say quietly “You look really nice.” to Wei Wuxian. He feels weird having overheard it but he hollers something at Nie Huaisang and runs to catch up with him, he does not want to hear his brother reply to that.They take their towels and set up station by the pool. Lan Wangji sets up a couple of parasols to protect them from the sun’s strong rays. They stay out there, sunbathing and alternately swimming in the pool for some time. It’s nice, pleasant. Even though he has to watch his brother flirt disastrously and making Lan Wangji blush every now and then, it’s a very fun afternoon. They eat chilled watermelon and drink ice tea to cool off. Nie Huaisang regales Jiang Cheng with the latest romance novels he’s read -something he doesn’t have much interest in, but he likes how the other seems so passionate about it that he doesn’t mind listening to the trials and tribulations of fictional characters that much.A couple of hours in and all of the ice tea he’s drank is making itself known to Jiang Cheng’s bladder and he goes inside to visit the bathroom. When he emerges again he realizes how good it felt to stay out of the sun for a bit. Instead of going right back outside to the others he takes a little look around the house where it’s nice and cool.The house is old, but well built. Dark wood floors, clean lines and mild colors on drapes and furniture. In the living room there is a photo in a silver frame of Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen when they both were younger. Lan Wangji looks about 10, he doesn’t know how old Lan Xichen is exactly but he looks like a teenager, perhaps as old as Jiang Cheng is now. He was handsome, even at that age, already tall, those doe eyes looking at the camera, smiling brightly while his brother looks like he’s sulking, probably a bit put upon by having his picture taken.“Jiang Cheng?” he hears a voice behind him, he turns around to come face to face with the person he’d just been staring at. He wills his blood not to rush to his face when he realizes Lan Xichen has caught him looking at his picture. He doesn’t even know why he’s embarrassed about it.“Hi” he says, feeling even more awkward than the last time they met. To make matters worse he looks Lan Xichen up and down like he’s checking him out, which he’s not. It’s just the man is wearing a very fine suit. Three piece. Probably designer. He looks so totally and wholly like a responsible adult and Jiang Cheng feels like a child in comparison where he’s standing in his colorful shorts and a t-shirt with a watermelon print on it.“Hello” Lan Xichen smiles, warm and pretty. There is something wholly comforting about that smile. Wei Wuxian and his sister smile brightly at Jiang Cheng all the time, but it’s the first time someone outside his family does it. Most people see Jiang Cheng’s scowls and frowns and are deterred from approaching him kindly, but Lan Xichen seems to completely disregard Jiang Cheng’s unfortunate facial expressions.“Are you here with Wangji and Wei Wuxian today?”“Uh, ah. Yes. Yes! I am. I was invited.” Not that he’d break in or anything, not that he thinks Lan Xichen thinks he’s breaking in or whatever. “I mean. Me and Nie Huaisang. He’s here too.”Lan Xichen smiles brighter “Ah. I know his big brother well. That’s great! The more the merrier.”“Yeah...thanks..” Jiang Cheng says, couldn’t be more awkward. He curses himself on the inside. Thanks?? What is he thanking him for?? Judging by the expression on Lan Xichen’s face he’s thinking the same thing.“For having us, I mean.” Phew. That’s better, more normal. Nice save, Jiang Cheng. He wonders how weird Lan Wangji’s brother thinks he is, he’s probably dying to get out of this conversation. Just like Jiang Cheng is dying to seem even just a little bit eloquent.But Lan Xichen only chuckles.“You guys can come any time you like. It’s only me and Wangji here, mostly.”Mostly?“It’s nice to have a little bit of life inside the house.” Lan Xichen smiles.It makes Jiang Cheng wonder about their parents. He doesn’t see any pictures of them. There’s a lone picture of the brothers and their uncle high up on a bookshelf.“You have a lovely home.” Jiang Cheng says. “It reminds me of my own. Except this is in the mountains and my home is by a lake. But it’s surrounded by mountains. Pretty landscape, plenty of flowers. It’s called Lotus Pier, because of the abundance of lotuses around the lake.”Lan Xichen lights up. “That sounds beautiful.”“It is.” Jiang Cheng answers.“Well, you can come here, anytime you miss home. I’m sure Wangji wouldn’t mind.”Jiang Cheng is pretty sure he’d find it just as awkward as Lan Wangji to be there without Wei Wuxian.“I’m glad to see him finally making some friends.” Lan Xichen admits.“My brother’s been obsessed with him since the moment they met.” Jiang Cheng says bitterly. But that only makes Lan Xichen laugh, loud and unbridled.“I’m sure the feeling is mutual.” he says to Jiang Cheng’s surprise.Lan Wangji is not easy to interpret. Jiang Cheng has never been able to completely understand him, neither has Wei Wuxian for that matter. But seeing as this is coming from his brother, Jiang Cheng thinks maybe he’s onto something. They both look over to the glass doors out to the pool where the guys are playing around. Lan Wangji situated in the shade of a parasol as to protect his delicate skin, Wei Wuxian getting sunburned by the harsh rays of the mid-day sun, splashing around in the water making a ruckus. Nie Huaisang whining at Wei Wuxian to stop ruining his manhua. Lan Wangji is pretending to read a book, but his attention is rapt on Wei Wuxian, his eyes darting to him every few seconds. Jiang Cheng chuckles, feeling fond. And he thinks maybe there’s something to it. Maybe Lan Xichen is right. He feels some sort of tension drain out of his shoulders.Lan Xichen must notice because he chuckles, regarding Jiang Cheng with a knowing smile and then drapes an arm over his shoulders, leading him outside to join the others again. The touch is warm and feels casual. A hand ruffles Jiang Cheng’s hair, as if he’s a child, followed by more entertained laughter as he watches the trio in front of them have an outright water-themed war -jumping around and splashing each other in retaliation. Mostly Nie Huaisang and Lan Wangji joining forces to subdue an overzealous Wei Wuxian who has been complaining about them being boring for half an hour already.“Hey!!” Jiang Cheng shouts making everyone look at him “How dare you gang up on my brother. Don’t worry Wei Wuxian, I got you!”He jumps into the pool to Wei Wuxian’s delight and they splash around for some time until a winner is established. (Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, of course!) But he suspects the win was mostly because Lan Wangji is too composed a person to enjoy being drenched by water for too long, and Nie Huaisang is too bored by keeping up with something he only finds mildly amusing for too long. Lan Xichen is laughing at them from the sidelines. A sound so joyous and free it makes Jiang Cheng’s icy insides melt.“Brother. Why don’t you join us?” Lan Wangji suggests, to his brother’s surprise.“Oh. Eh. No, this is your time, I don’t want to intrude on your grand war.”“The war is over” Wei Wuxian says happily “and I won.”“We won.” Jiang Cheng emphasizes. Wei Wuxian only laughs sheepishly.“The day is hot. You should cool down too.” Lan Wangji insists. His brother gives him an indulgent smile. Lan Xichen strikes him as the type of person who would do anything for his brother.“Alright. I’ll just go change.” He says and sweeps away to change out of his clothes. Wise choice, Jiang Cheng thinks, he wouldn’t want to ruin those fine clothes either.When he emerges from inside the house again, Jiang Cheng wishes the man had just jumped into the pool with his three piece suit on. Because he was not ready for Lan Xichen to look absolutely devastating when half naked. His skin is dark and gorgeous, like he’s stayed a few days in the sun already, and it’s glistening with a sheen of what Jiang Cheng can only assume is sunscreen. The wide planes of his chest, the dark nubs of his nipples, his flat stomach with the faint outline of abs. The man has freaking abs!!Jiang Cheng turns around. Doesn’t know how to name this feeling that is spreading through him hot and pulsing and turning him into a panicking mess. All he knows is that he can’t bear to look at Lan Xichen like this. It’s too much. And it gets even worse when he jumps into the pool, dives in head first. When he emerges from the light blue waters he shakes the droplets out of his eyes and smooths his hair out of his face, slicked back onto the top of his head. A couple of strands still come loose to frame his eyes on either side. He is absolutely and devastatingly gorgeous.Lan Xichen sighs loudly. “You were right, Wangji. I did need to cool down.”Lan Wangji just nods, a pleased “Mn.” for an answer, while Jiang Cheng thinks the pool just got a thousand degrees hotter. Thankfully, Wei Wuxian is too busy flirting with Lan Wangji to notice Jiang Cheng’s internal distress. But Nie Huaisang now sitting at the poolside, in the shade of the parasol, smiles at him from behind his fan with a knowing smirk. Jiang Cheng just gives him a warning glance and Nie Huaisang looks up and away and pretends like he didn’t notice anything. Instead he engages them all in conversation over the beautiful nature surrounding them – praising the Lan family home and shooting curious glances Jiang Cheng’s way every now and then. Well thank fuck Nie Huaisang is at least a little bit discreet. If it had been Wei Wuxian noticing, he’d been mercilessly teased. And probably outed. When they’re all ready to go home, Wei Wuxian lingers for as long as he can, until Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes and has to wrest his brother bodily away from Lan Wangji.“Oh my god, COME ON! I’m sure we’ve taken up enough of the Lan brothers’ time today.”“Don’t worry about it, A-Cheng.” Lan Xichen says, rendering Jiang Cheng entirely speechless at the sudden use of informal address. Nor can he look at the man, so he ends up staring at Lan Xichen’s feet. “It was a pleasure having all of you here. I hope I’ll see you again.” he says, tone light and friendly.Nie Huaisang giggles at Jiang Cheng’s misery behind his fan. Wei Wuxian looks mostly confused, now finally noticing something is up with Jiang Cheng. But he seems to put if out of his mind for now and is quickly encouraged by the open invitation.“I’ll come any time you’ll have me!” Wei Wuxian answers blissfully.“And I’m sure you’ll come anytime they won’t have you too.” Jiang Cheng mutters. Again, to his surprise Lan Xichen laughs. Jiang Cheng has never thought of himself as a funny person. But obviously there’s something about him that entertains Lan Xichen. He takes some small pleasure in this.They’re sent off with warm good byes from Lan Xichen, a respectful nod from Lan Wangji. Their energy drained for the day, they go home and Wei Wuxian is uncharacteristically silent. It’s nice. And it’s an enjoyable silence too. One of the silences Jiang Cheng has ever witnessed that is entirely born out of pleasant satisfaction. Wei Wuxian is dreaming away, Jiang Cheng is sure, if his longing sighs are anything to go by. Jiang Cheng himself doesn’t speak much either. The events of the day keep playing in his head. The scorching heat of the sun, the cooling water of the pool, dark eyes and a pretty smile, a gentle energy. A hot hand on his shoulder. Water droplets running down tan skin. Jiang Cheng inhales deeply. What in the world is going on? * * * The thing is, Jiang Cheng has never been attracted to anyone before. He’s wondered for a few years now, ever since his peers hit puberty why this was the case. The first time Wei Wuxian noticed a pretty girl he was about 13 years old. Jiang Cheng hadn’t really known she existed until Wei Wuxian pointed her out.“Don’t you think Mian Mian is just so pretty?” he’d said one day as they’d visited a market in Yunmeng. They’d been winding through the stalls, getting sugar highs on candied apples and looking for kites to take into the field to play with later. He’d looked at her then, the girl Wei Wuxian found pretty. Yeah, sure she had an altogether pleasant face. Even facial features. A soft curve of brows, kind eyes. But other than that she just looked like any other girl to Jiang Cheng.“It makes me want to tease her.” Wei Wuxian had said, laughing. Jiang Cheng hadn’t really understood why.“You think she’s pretty so you want to annoy her?” He’d asked, and Wei Wuxian had only laughed louder at that, shoving him playfully.“Of course!”That had made zero sense to Jiang Cheng. But then again, there had been many things about romance that had made zero sense to Jiang Cheng. The way all the boys their age suddenly started talking about pretty girls. About kissing. About how they wanted to do this and that to them. That sort of talk had always at the very least baffled him and at worst disgusted him. Wei Wuxian didn’t say anything, but he’d noticed that whenever the subject of finding someone pretty came up, Jiang Cheng fell silent, changed the subject or chided others for not paying attention to something more important. Mostly those discussions made Jiang Cheng feel like an alien. Wei Wuxian only asked once or twice, whether or not Jiang Cheng had ever liked someone. But when Jiang Cheng had shrugged noncommittally he’d dropped the subject and moved on to other things instead. In his early teens, Jiang Cheng had been thankful for it, that when it came right down to it his brother knew when to leave well enough alone. The first time Wei Wuxian noticed a boy was far more concerning. Xue Yang was the resident bad boy of Yunmeng. He had difficulties paying attention in class. Always disrupted the teachers, this evolved into outright rule-breaking and disobedience. He was rude and not a little bit of a delinquent. This was not normally Wei Wuxian’s type. But at 16 Wei Wuxian was extremely attracted to him. Jiang Cheng didn’t presume to know exactly what they were doing together but he’d often find his brother coming home with his clothes rumpled or inside out. His hair a mess and his lips a deep dark red.“Hey” he’d said one day when they were goofing off at the arcade “what do you think about that guy?” he’d asked pointing to some guy next to Xue Yang, presumably one of his friends. Jiang Cheng didn’t know his name. He was tall and broad, but in a slim sort of way. Pretty features. But altogether, he regarded this guy just as he’d regarded everyone else he’d ever met. It was just some guy. Just like all the pretty girls Wei Wuxian had pointed out were all just some girls. Neither interesting nor repulsive.“Why? Do you like him too?” Jiang Cheng had asked, and Wei Wuxian had thrown some snacks on him in retaliation.“Funny.” he’d said “No I mean, he’s considered to be pretty popular. Among girls and guys.”Jiang Cheng knew what he was asking. Wasn’t this popular guy doing something for him? The answer was no. As always. Just no.“I’m not gay, Wei Wuxian.” he’d said. Felt almost a little bit annoyed with it. He didn’t know why he was annoyed. It’s not like he thought being gay was wrong or anything. Wei Wuxian was clearly bisexual, and though Jiang Cheng did not approve of his partner, it had nothing to do with his gender. It was the type of person Xue Yang was that was the problem. And Jiang Cheng had never thought being gay was a bad thing. He could appreciate aesthetics, but that’s all it was. Aesthetics.“I’m not saying you are” Wei Wuxian had answered, “I’m just...curious. If he’s maybe an option?”An option to what? Jiang Cheng had wondered. To be forever alone? Jiang Cheng hadn’t really suffered from not dating, so why did it matter? He pouted.“Don’t worry. You’ll find someone special one day. I promise.” Wei Wuxian had said, perhaps interpreting the pout as sulking over lack of romantic entanglement.“Worried? Who is worried?! I’m not. Look, I don’t need to date someone I’m not interested in, so just leave it alone.” Jiang Cheng had said, tone hard and uncompromising. That had been the last conversation they’d ever had on the topic. From then on Wei Wuxian had never asked Jiang Cheng about if he thought anyone was pretty, never asked if he wanted to go on a double date with some girls who had clearly been interested in the both of them. He had understood then on some level that Jiang Cheng just was not interested in dating. And Jiang Cheng has never had any interest in someone, ever. That is why his strange bodily reactions to Lan Xichen’s very presence confuses him greatly.Jiang Cheng spends the following weeks after the visit at the Lan family home wondering if he was gay all along after all? He worries an inordinate amount about it. So far as to slip behind on some of his homework and receives lowered test scores to the immediate concern of his mother who calls to yell at him to get his shit together and study hard, because they paid good money for him to go to this prestigious school and they didn’t do that for him to slack off and fool around. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to explain his grades slipping in any way he’s comfortable with to either of his parents. So instead of worrying about it, he gathers all of his self-control and puts the whole ordeal out of his mind, at least for as long as he’s in class.When he’s not in class however, the one who is always beside him notices his change in mood.“Are you okay, Jiang Cheng?” Wei Wuxian asks, looking worried. “You’ve been acting weird for a while.”Jiang Cheng debates asking his brother stupid questions like ‘How did you know you were bisexual’ or something similar. But the longer he stares at Wei Wuxian’s face, the harder it is to make himself ask. Instead he just shrugs it off.“It’s nothing.” he says, knowing damn well it’s something.“You can tell me anything, you know that right? I won’t tell a soul. Not even Lan Zan.” He jokes. Jiang Cheng knows that. He does. But it also signals a shift for Jiang Cheng, how important Lan Wangji has become to his brother. That they’re equally important to Wei Wuxian now. Sometimes it feels like the scales have tipped in Lan Wangji’s favor. It makes him even more ambivalent about asking him something that feels this stupid, and vulnerable and inane and about a thousand other things Jiang Cheng can’t reason himself as to why they feel this way.“I’m just sick of school I guess.” he says. It’s a lie and they both know it. But it tells Wei Wuxian that he’s not ready to talk about it. So he lets him off the hook. And they spend their days trying to get better at their studies, or Jiang Cheng does anyhow. * * *

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Jiang Cheng definitely does not spend the entire next week in a hazy dream-like state, floating away into fantasies about Lan Xichen. But after a few more weeks of this he might be so bold as to admit (at least to himself) that he might have a monumental crush on the guy.For some reason or other Wei Wuxian is stalling on telling Lan Wangji about his feelings for him, and so whenever he’s invited to Lan Wangji’s house Jiang Cheng is invited too, to act as a sort of buffer between them. Or convenient, but awkward third wheel. Frankly, Jiang Cheng thinks Wei Wuxian should just man up and tell Lan Wangji he likes him already, but for some reason his brother doesn’t want to. He still ends up going, because despite being ready to scold Wei Wuxian for anything he does wrong (which is, admittedly, a lot of things) he is incurably soft for him.Thankfully Nie Huaisang is keeping his word regarding their pact for either of them not to be a third wheel between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji so most of the time he has someone to share his pain and keep him company when the other two are flirting extra intensely with each other. But the trouble with Nie Huaisang is also that he’s perceptive and he’s already picked up on the way Jiang Cheng lights up around Lan Xichen, the way he makes him blush, how his mood is milder, his speech softer and how he affects Jiang Cheng, whether the older man is aware of it or not. Of course Nie Huaisang doesn’t say all this in so many words, but Jiang Cheng sees the looks he gives him whenever Lan Xichen makes him blush, he sees the meaningful stares when Lan Xichen laughs at his wry jokes, throwing Jiang Cheng off because no one else reacts that way to him. Nie Huaisang sees it all, but he doesn’t say a word about it. Jiang Cheng is eternally grateful for it.They spend almost every Saturday there, Jiang Cheng getting to know Lan Xichen little by little through minutes-long interactions that has his stomach filled with butterflies every time. It’s strange how Jiang Cheng always seems to find Lan Xichen alone at some part of the house every time he’s there, as if they were meant to have this time to themselves somehow. When he’s reading something in the living room, when he’s playing something in the music room. That’s where Jiang Cheng thinks he likes finding Lan Xichen the most. He looks so focused whenever he’s playing an instrument, his face serious in concentration, but his expression soft, relaxed. He always stops when he finds Jiang Cheng looking at him from the doorway, smiling his gentle smile and invites him in. He listens to Lan Xichen talk about some music piece he’s writing, being included in the process of choosing how a song should proceed, which endings are more striking. He loves it, this time with Lan Xichen. How gently he’s treated, how easy his company feels. How his chest blooms with warmth every time they’re together. Of course, he can’t spend the entire time alone with Lan Xichen, as much as he’d like to, he’s there to be with his friends. But even though their interactions are always brief, the time they spend together feels significant. * * * Jiang Cheng is 18 years old and he has never been kissed. He’s 18 years old and he’s never once entertained the idea of kissing someone. It was never on the table. And there was never a moment when Jiang Cheng thought he might want to do that. But sitting there with Lan Xichen so close to him, entranced by the way he moves, the way he speaks, so utterly gone for the very essence of his being – Jiang Cheng is finally entertaining the idea. He wonders how Lan Xichen’s lips would feel against his. Would it be weird? Would they be soft? Would he want more? Or would the whole thing be too scary to pursue? Would he cup Jiang Cheng’s face with his big hands? Or would he pull him into his body, his warmth, and make him feel safe and wanted?“A-Cheng?”Jiang Cheng snaps out of it. He’s been listening to Lan Xichen talk about music for a while now. It’s just the two of them in the music room while the others are playing some game in Lan Wangji’s room. Lan Xichen had found Jiang Cheng wandering into the music room and sat down next to him at the piano, playing something nice while they talk. Apparently he plays a various amount of instruments but he loves the guitar the most. He used to be in a rock band when he was younger, he’d just said, which Jiang Cheng has a hard time picturing what with Lan Xichen being so upstanding and all.“Hey, where’d you go just now?” he asks, looking curiously at Jiang Cheng. He’s sitting so close, his eyes are gorgeous and Jiang Cheng is suffering a little.“Nowhere, I’m just having a hard time processing what you just said.” he lies. Well, it’s technically not a lie, he does find it unbelievable.“You really used to be in a rock band?!” Jiang Cheng asks incredulously.“Why is that so hard to believe?” Lan Xichen asks, tilting his head to the side in amusement.“Classical guitar I would believe. Maybe even a folksy sort of band. But rock n’ roll?”Lan Xichen’s laughter is as abundant as his smiles. He laughs in a way that makes Jiang Cheng’s insides quiver. He’s not used to this feeling. He wipes his hands on his jeans, he’s not sure when they got clammy or why.“You better believe it, because I have proof.” he says and rises from the piano stool to rummage through some boxes in the corner of the room. Jiang Cheng follows him, squatting next to him as he searches for something.“Aha!” Lan Xichen exclaims and opens an envelope named San Zun – The Venerated Triad. He shows Jiang Cheng some pictures of his rocker days, dressed in black, with eyeliner galore, ripped jeans, making crude gestures at the camera. Jiang Cheng is freaking out. He doesn’t know what to focus on, the fact that Lan Xichen was motherfucking gorgeous as a grungy rocker in his teens, or that the stark contrast to now is making him want to fall to the floor laughing. The laughter takes him over anyway. He clutches his stomach going through picture after picture, each and every one of them making him laugh more and more, meanwhile Lan Xichen is looking more and more embarrassed about it. It’s adorable and Jiang Cheng is not okay.“This was obviously during my rebellious phase.” he says, touching a hand to his neck.“I’ll say. You look like you have a chip on your shoulder.” Jiang Cheng comments when his laughter is again under control.“I did.” Lan Xichen says, his face is smiling but it’s a faraway sort of thing “This was just a couple of years after our parents died.”Jiang Cheng stops breathing. His face falls.“Wangji never told you guys about it?” Lan Xichen asks.“I think if he would tell anyone it would be Wei Wuxian.”Lan Xichen nods in understanding. “They died when I was fourteen. Wangji was only four at the time. It was a car crash.”“I’m sorry.” Jiang Cheng says, putting his hand over Lan Xichen’s in a comforting gesture. Jiang Cheng isn’t prone to touching others unless they’re family, but Lan Xichen doesn’t seem to think much about it, he only smiles down sadly at his hand.“Don’t worry. It was a long time ago.”Long, but not that long ago. At fourteen Lan Xichen would have felt that loss quite immensely. Jiang Cheng now feels stupid for laughing so much. And for some reason it also makes him process the fact that he mentioned his age. He quickly does the math, despite being terrible at math. When Lan Wangji was four...Lan Xichen was fourteen. Does that mean Lan Xichen is ten years older than Jiang Cheng? He knows he is older, but he’s never once thought the man in front of him is 28 years old. He certainly doesn’t look it.“Anyway” he says, takes a deep breath and smiles again, “after they passed I sort of rebelled in any way I could. Caused my uncle a lot of trouble.” He chuckles. Jiang Cheng matches his chuckle with a soft one of his own. “One of those rebellious things was to abandon classical guitar and join a rock band instead.”“I still have a hard time picturing it. But I’m glad you kept the photos. Because they’re excellent proof.” Jiang Cheng says, in his own cheeky way. Lan Xichen ruffles his hair playfully.“Who are the other ones?” he asks, pointing at a picture where Lan Xichen is standing in between two guys in similar style clothing. One looking rough like he could beat you up, the other looking a little more timid, but sharp-eyed, like he’s plotting murder with the drumsticks he’s holding.“Oh!” Lan Xichen laughs “They were my best friends at the time. Still are, as a matter of fact. Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao. The latter I expect you to see him soon. He’s around a lot. Mingjue is of course Nie Huaisang’s older brother.”Jiang Cheng smiles brightly “It’s so nice that you’ve managed to stay friends with your band mates!”Lan Xichen is just about to reply something when someone knocks on the wide-open door, standing there, smiling at the threshold.“Isn’t it? Although I wouldn’t exactly call us friends, these days, now would I?”“Honey!” Lan Xichen exclaims and quickly rises from the floor next to Jiang Cheng to move over to the doorway. Jiang Cheng stands up slowly, confusion clouding his mind. Honey?Then Lan Xichen embraces the other man, much shorter than him and kisses him with smacking lips, like he’s done it a thousand times before. The sound is loud and echoes in the room. Echoes in Jiang Cheng’s mind.“Oh. Jiang Cheng. This is Jin Guangyao. He’s my boyfriend.” Lan Xichen says with a wide smile. Jin Guangyao smiles up at him too. The couple in front of him look at each other for a moment with a sickeningly intimate stare, it makes Jiang Cheng’s stomach turn and he has to look away.Boyfriend? Jiang Cheng’s brain processes belatedly. The butterflies he’d felt all afternoon around Lan Xichen quickly turn to clumps of lead inside his stomach. He wants to throw up. But he’s unable to open his mouth.The guy who is apparently Lan Xichen’s boyfriend registers Jiang Cheng’s inability to move or speak because he untangles himself from Lan Xichen and approaches Jiang Cheng, holding a hand out. Jiang Cheng shakes it, his body running on autopilot. But he doesn’t want to touch him. His hand is too cold and clammy. His grip too weak. Jiang Cheng hates it with a passion. Feels revulsion course through his body.“Nice to meet you. Are you one of Wangji’s friends?” he asks, sizing him up. Probably noting his youth, his inexperience.“Uh. Yeah. Yes. I am.” he says, doesn’t know what to say that’s not going to turn into acidic bile right now. He feels his former calm morph into something dark and stormy. He wants to disappear from the face of the earth and he also wants to take everyone down with him in his own personal apocalypse.
Boyfriend.
The word echoes in his brain, uselessly.
Boyfriend.
“It’s so great that Wangji has been making friends lately. It’s been a concern of ours that he spends too much time alone. But of course my darling here never worries too much about his brilliant little brother, who takes after his equally brilliant big brother in so many ways...” The guy prattles on, speaking in such an oily manner Jiang Cheng wouldn’t be surprised if he suddenly started slithering away like a snake.The guy keeps on talking and Jiang Cheng keeps trying to get a hold of himself. He feels like someone swept a rug from under his feet. But before he can delve further into hopelessness and do something as humiliating as crying, Nie Huaisang, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji appear in the doorway.“Jiang Cheng! There you are. We need to go home for our weekly video call with uncle!” Wei Wuxian cries, like the life-saver he is. Jiang Cheng has never been happier to see him. Nie Huaisang takes stock of Jiang Cheng’s stunned expression and then looks at the older pair, now holding hands in front of them and puts two and two together. Without further ado he takes Jiang Cheng by the arm, leading him out of the room and out into the hallway.“Okay well, we must be going! Thanks for having us again.” Wei Wuxian exclaims happily as they put their shoes on and sprint down the road.“Are you okay?” Nie Huaisang whispers so Wei Wuxian won’t hear when they’ve gotten a little way down the street. But Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to answer that. No. He is not okay. He feels like his heart was just ripped out of his chest.“It’s. Whatever.” Jiang Cheng says and tears his arm away from Nie Huaisang’s grasp. “Not like I cared anyway.”Nie Huaisang gives him a pitiful stare, knowing full well how much he’s lying right now. But, as usual, he’s sensible enough not to call him out on it. * * * From then on Jiang Cheng refuses to go to the Lans’. He’s not sure he can control his temper if he happens to see Lan Xichen with his stupid, smarmy boyfriend – and he’s afraid of what harsh words will come out of him. He doesn’t want to treat Lan Xichen like that. He doesn’t deserve it. Lan Xichen has only ever treated Jiang Cheng with respect and friendliness. He would feel even more horrible if he were to repay that friendliness with hostility. But Wei Wuxian insists on Jiang Cheng coming along, nagging him every single day to the point where he feels like he’s going to break from the pressure. Every day he’s reminded of that soul-crushing moment. Every day he hears a loud smack of lips and sees lips that he wanted to kiss, instead kiss someone else. Every day the word boyfriend echoes through his brain and makes him want to retch. Wei Wuxian doesn’t seem to pick up on Jiang Cheng’s misery, fully immersed in his own feelings. But Wei Wuxian being who he is keeps pushing like he always does to get his will through, pushing Jiang Cheng to his limits until one day he finally explodes.“Please!! Please~ Jiang Cheng~ come with me~!!” he whines, holding onto Jiang Cheng’s sleeve, in supplication and throws his most annoying puppy dog eyes at him.“I said no. We’re there every single weekend and I’m tired of it.” Jiang Cheng says firmly.Wei Wuxian pouts and hovers threateningly over Jiang Cheng’s sculpture. “If you don’t come with me, I’ll kidnap Mr. Sandu.” Mr. Sandu is Jiang Cheng’s sculpture project, he’s been painstakingly working on it for weeks to get the right proportions to his warrior king. Had he known how difficult it would be to choose this subject, he would have chosen something else. And now because Wei Wuxian won’t just confess his feelings for someone who obviously likes him back, Jiang Cheng’s art class grades are on the line.“Why don’t you just go there alone, Wei Wuxian!? Why do I have to be there to watch you flirt endlessly with someone way out of your league?!?”He knows he went off the rail as soon as he let those words fly out of his mouth. And the hurt look on Wei Wuxian’s face is just making his heart bleed more.He takes a step back from Mr. Sandu.“Do you really think Lan Zhan doesn’t like me? Like, I have no chance in hell?”Oh fuck, now he’s gone and unlocked Wei Wuxian’s insecurities. Something he thought he would never be able to achieve. It’s even more stupid because this is all about HIM. About his own insecurities. About his own stupid crush on someone a lot fucking older than him, someone he can’t have and who is leaps and bounds and all sorts of heavenly levels above him and who also has a motherfucking BOYFRIEND. Instead of screaming until he can’t breathe, like he wants to do, he takes a deep breath and does the rational thing. The brotherly thing.“No I don’t. I’m just upset about something else.” he says and feels almost proud of himself for reining it in for once. Dad would be proud.“You are? About what?” Wei Wuxian asks, tilting his head to the side curiously.Typical of Wei Wuxian not to have noticed. Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.“Doesn’t matter. Look. I think Lan Wangji likes you. And I KNOW you like him. So why don’t you just tell him that and let the chips fall where they may?”“You really think he likes me? I mean, what if he doesn’t? I don’t want to ruin our friendship if I confess to him and he doesn’t like me.” Wei Wuxian pouts.“Then don’t let it ruin your friendship.” Jiang Cheng says in a harder tone than he meant for. Wei Wuxian looks clueless.“If he doesn’t like you like that, then don’t let it ruin your friendship. Be friends with him anyway, even if he can’t love you back in that disgusting romantic way you seem to be favoring.”Wei Wuxian looks like a new world has opened up to him. He falls silent for a few moments, taking Jiang Cheng’s words into consideration. After a few moments of silent deliberation he turns in his art project and leaves the room.“You know, you could probably follow your own advice.” Nie Huaisang says. He’s been sitting there the whole time and pretending like he wasn’t listening to their argument. Jiang Cheng doesn’t like how he just knows. Has never liked him knowing. He doesn’t want anyone to know. Doesn’t want anyone to see his pain. His mistakes. His failure. Or his heartbreak.“Our situations are not the same!” Jiang Cheng insists. “Besides, we both know his love is requited, don’t we?” He doesn’t like how his voice comes out, hard, harsh. The way his father always tells him not to speak to people. But he can’t help it. His heart still feels raw about this whole ordeal.Despite being clearly taken aback by Jiang Cheng’s harsh tone of voice Nie Huaisang shrugs, as if he doesn’t think much of it. “Yeah of course. I just thought, maybe you could-”“I don’t want to talk about it!!” Jiang Cheng shouts and storms out of the classroom. The teacher calling his name in reprimand, the whole class looking at him, startled by the sudden volume. He stalks out with a dozen eyes on his back, step by angry step.Okay, maybe he could have handled that better. Jiang Cheng has never been good at tempering his emotions. Nie Huaisang knowing about his crush, and trying to turn his own advice against him was the final straw. Jiang Cheng feels even more miserable after reacting like that. He thinks of the way Lan Xichen would have reacted if he’d seen Jiang Cheng explode. How different their temperaments are, Lan Xichen calm and self-contained, how he would probably have been disappointed in how Jiang Cheng just treated his friend. He sighs heavily as his feet land him somewhere outside in the campus fitness park. He lets the fresh air fill his lungs, breath by shaking breath. The green all around calming him a little bit. If he can’t even talk to his friends about his feelings, then how would he even be able to have an entire relationship with someone? Let alone someone who is 10 years older than him? Maybe he has been deluding himself this whole time? Maybe this is just another piece of evidence to show him that he’s not meant to be with Lan Xichen after all? *

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

As the heat of summer rolls into chillier winds of early autumn, Jiang Cheng finds himself with a routine that has helped him keep his mind off of a certain older brother of Lan Wangji. Ever since being confronted with his own feelings, exploding first at Wei Wuxian and then at Nie Huaisang, he’s been finding himself in need of a physical outlet. Staring out at the green fields of the Cloud Recesses High’s fitness park, Jiang Cheng one day just starts running. And he’s been running ever since. He puts his sneakers on, an old t-shirt he usually sleeps in, a pair of nondescript joggers and then just goes. Runs. He lets the fresh air fill his lungs, he lets himself feel the physical strain as his muscles work hard to keep him going, he keeps going even as it gets tougher and he keeps running, not letting his mind roam, focusing on being present in the moment, focusing on how his lungs start burning with every strained breath, noticing how after a while -after having gotten used to a certain amount of running the strain is not as hard anymore. He allows himself to feel it when his legs burn too, when they want to give up and rest, but he doesn’t let it. He pushes on, goes a little further, goes a little faster, runs until he’s just ready to collapse. He likes it. For those few moments nothing exists in the world but the physical exertion, the burn in his legs, the sweat rolling down his forehead. There are no Lan Xichens or their stupid, smarmy boyfriends. There are no Wei Wuxians outsmarting him in every field. There are no Nie Huaisangs pointing out his own hypocrisy. And there are no mom and dad, making him feel like a bitter disappointment compared to his much more brilliant and charismatic adopted brother. All there is in this moment is the steady ground beneath him, the crisp air in his lungs, and the ache of his muscles, his body present in the moment. As is his mind, simply focused on this.In school he throws himself into his studies with a ferocity and abandon which he has never felt before. Nor have his friends ever seen him so devoted. He studies so hard, so diligently that his parents call him one day to congratulate him on coming first in the latest history exam and also scoring higher marks in literature and his dreaded foe: math. His gym class achievements have also improved, but his parents don’t mention it. In celebration of this vast improvement they’ve decided to reward him. They transferred some money into his card for him to use however he pleases. He mentions that he owes part of his success to his new hobby: running. His parents seem surprised but don’t question it. His mom suggests that he should get himself some proper running gear, if he is to keep it up. And not so gently reminds him that running is fine, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of his studies. Jiang Cheng promises it won’t.So that is how their usual trio find themselves out and about in a mall in central Gusu. Wei Wuxian is excited, of course, for the change in scenery and to be able to buy something new and nice to wear to impress Lan Wangji. Nie Huaisang loves shopping in general, so he is also in good spirits, pointing at store after store he’d like to visit. Jiang Cheng is in his usual broody mood. The praise and allowance from his parents revived him for a while, and he feels generally more proud of himself having gained their approval, but he wonders how much of his happiness should really be depending on their approval. His brother and his friend amuse him and distract him well enough not to steer too much into those kinds of thoughts. Bringing him back to the present. Nie Huaisang literally wants to visit every single store until the mall closes. Wei Wuxian wants to spend an entire afternoon having a movie-style makeover montage and Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang have to drag him out of every clothing store and convince him that five new outfits are quite enough to impress Lan Wangji. Jiang Cheng himself finds what he needs in one sports store. He spends a few minutes trying to decide between a pair of Nikes or Brooks, he finally decides on the Brooks and quickly chooses some other clothes for his daily exercise, some tiger balm and a reflective jacket, seeing as it’s going to get colder and darker outside soon.At the register someone’s stomach grumbles loudly beside him and Wei Wuxian exclaims that he’s hungry. They decide to go to the food court for a late lunch as they exit the sports store. Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang have a heated discussion on what type of food they’re going to get as they round the corner and Jiang Cheng literally bumps into someone.“Oh. I’m sorry” he starts to bow in apology and stops mid-bow to look at the person he walked into.“A-Cheng!” the dark dulcet tone of Lan Xichen’s voice calls to him. His face lights up, he looks so pleasantly surprised it’s making Jiang Cheng’s head spin. But beside him is someone that sobers Jiang Cheng up immediately. His heart constricts painfully as he makes eye contact with Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao.“A-Cheng” Lan Xichen says, oblivious of Jiang Cheng’s discomfort and beams at him with a wonderfully warm smile. A smile Jiang Cheng wishes with all of his heart he hadn’t missed quite as much. “Long time no see!”Long time indeed. It had been a little over two months since they last saw each other. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know what to say, he finds himself quite mute. His whole body is frozen to one spot.“Xichen-ge!” Wei Wuxian exclaims instead. And once again, Jiang Cheng finds himself grateful for his brother’s easy presence.“A-Xian, A-Sang how have you been?” he asks with a wide smile, looking at all three of them with such warmth it makes Jiang Cheng quiver a little bit. Huaisang notices his discomfort and comes to thread an arm with his, holding onto his arm steadily- Jiang Cheng does not dare to look at Nie Huaisang but he’s silently thankful for his support. His touch grounding him in the present.“Great, we’ve been super!” Wei Wuxian exclaims.Super. Jiang Cheng thinks sarcastically.“It’s been so long since you all came to our house. Wei Wuxian I’ve seen of course. But the two of you. Why haven’t you come around?” he asks. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know if he’s just asking out of politeness or if he’s actually missed him...them.“Darling, I’m sure they’ve been busy.” the smarmy boyfriend says, to Jiang Cheng’s surprise and relief. His relief turns into bitterness as he sees the boyfriends run a hand up and down Lan Xichen’s arm. A casual thing, but so intimate. Jiang Cheng is insanely jealous. His jaw clenches and he takes a deep breath and holds it. Willing his body to stay put and not run off dramatically.“That’s right” Nie Huaisang pipes up “we’ve been very busy lately. In fact, we’ve been focusing more on our studies, gaining great results.”“Pffff” Wei Wuxian laughs “Yeah, Jiang Cheng maybe, but you? You’re just as bad at school as ever.”Nie Huaisang hits Wei Wuxian with one of his many shopping bags, apparently hitting him with something sharp and hard because he goes ‘ow’ and massages his aching leg.“Jiang Cheng. You’ve improved in school?” Lan Xichen asks him directly and when his eyes meet the pretty brown eyes of the older man he feels his anger dissipate a little bit. But instead of happiness at being addressed, a sadness overtakes him instead.“Yes. Overall higher marks. Aced the last history test.” he mumbles, doesn’t sound in the least enthusiastic about it. His tone is lifeless, almost like he’s bored with the conversation. Lan Xichen finally seems to notice. And for some reason Wei Wuxian does too, he looks at him where he’s standing beside him, his eyes observing him with worry, his lips falling apart.“Congratulations.” Lan Xichen says quiet but genuine. The mood has shifted. Everybody can feel it now. Shit. Why couldn’t Jiang Cheng just act normal for a fucking minute?“Thanks.” Jiang Cheng can’t look at him, his gaze shifts to the floor.When his boyfriend pulls on his arm, signaling for them to leave Lan Xichen extends a final greeting.“It was so nice to see you guys again. You’ll come by sometime?”“Sure.” Jiang Cheng mumbles, but doesn’t mean it, while the other two promise to come by again more earnestly, with the kind of happy smiles Jiang Cheng can’t muster right now. He watches them go, sees how Jin Guangyao leans in to give Lan Xichen a kiss to the cheek. Jiang Cheng wishes desperately that he hadn’t looked.He’s mostly silent at the food court. Not eating and stewing in his own emotions. He wishes he could pull on his new running gear and run all the way home. Even if it would take hours. Wei Wuxian observes him darkly. He pretends like everything is alright in front of Huaisang, entertaining the other with stories and keeping conversation flowing between the two. But as soon as they come home to the dorms he knocks on Jiang Cheng’s door where he’s sequestered himself, lying face down in the pillow on his bed, trying to suffocate himself. When Jiang Cheng doesn’t answer Wei Wuxian comes in anyway and sits at the foot of the bed, pulling Jiang Cheng’s feet onto his lap.“What-” he starts but doesn’t know how to continue. “Are you...” he tries but cuts himself off again.He finally settles on: “Is something going on between you and Lan Xichen?”Jiang Cheng turns his body, laying on his back. He doesn’t look at Wei Wuxian, he only stares up at the ceiling. “Definitely not.”“Then why...” he sounds so puzzled, Jiang Cheng wants to laugh.“Nothing is going on.” he says, firmly.“Alright.” Wei Wuxian accepts. “Did you have an argument?”“No, we didn’t have an argument.” Jiang Cheng says. Feels like whining. For the first time in his life he feels like actually whining like a child at these questions.“Then why did you just treat him with so little civility? That isn’t like you. Sure you can be surly with me or even Huaisang, but I’ve never seen you treat an elder like that.”Jiang Cheng sighs loud and heavy. But doesn’t answer. Why? Because he was blindsided. He hadn’t mentally prepared for meeting gorgeous Lan Xichen and his boyfriend and he panicked. Instead of running off or yelling, he’d retreated into curtness and silence. All in all, he thought it was one of his better reactions.“Getting information out of you is like pulling teeth sometimes, you know that Jiang Cheng?” Wei Wuxian says irritably. Jiang Cheng is taken aback for a moment, because it’s not like Wei Wuxian to be irritated with him, that’s usually Jiang Cheng’s job.He thinks of the myriad of things he can’t say. All of the things he’s been feeling, all new to him and the depths of them scary. He thinks of how lovely Lan Xichen’s smile is. How pretty his eyes. How sweet and welcoming he’s always been and how interesting he finds him, with every small conversation they’ve ever had. He thinks about his smile, so bright it was almost blinding at the mall, how happy he had been to see Jiang Cheng. And then how that smile had dimmed, how he’d looked uncertain, maybe a tad hurt? Or had that only been a figment of Jiang Cheng’s imagination?All of the things that he’s been feeling lately, all of the stuff that he’s been suppressing with running, with excessive studying, suddenly come up to the surface with one sentence.“I think I’m in love with him.”Wei Wuxian gasps, looking at Jiang Cheng with eyes like planets, and the dam breaks. He feels the inner turmoil rise up, like a hurricane growing stronger and stronger revolving inside him, pulling up all of the thoughts and feelings and memories he’s been trying to forget for over two months now and he feels this storm rage inside him as he finally spills over and starts crying. His eyes sting with tears, his throat hurts, closes up with having tried to push the tears down for so long. But the dam is broken and all he can do is wallow in the waves, let the water take him where it wants to go. Wei Wuxian pulls him into his arms, holding him tightly as he rocks back and forth. He pets his hair, kissing the top of his head as he used to when they were children and Jiang Cheng had fallen down and scraped his knee. Wei Wuxian holds him for so, so long, until his tears subside. Until there’s nothing left in him but the wreckage of his own emotions, broken and scattered all over the place. * Perhaps because Wei Wuxian is a good brother, he doesn’t tease Jiang Cheng about his impossible crush, the way he normally would. When Jiang Cheng questions him about it he says he doesn’t think it’s fun to tease someone when they’re being as miserable as Jiang Cheng is. Which makes him feel more pitiful and also makes him want to hit Wei Wuxian over the head a little bit. But all in all, he’s thankful for the reprieve, and he can go on with his life, keeping his mind focused on his studies without the threat of being teased for something that would cause him pain to hear about.The presence of Lan Wangji doesn’t make him as wary as he thought he’d be. Lan Wangji – though he may look similar to his brother, that same stoic beauty, that same composed sense of self. He’s different enough from Lan Xichen that most days when they hang out all four of them, in school or somewhere in Gusu he doesn’t think about it. It’s obvious Wei Wuxian hasn’t ratted him out to Lan Wangji, because he keeps extending invitations to their house – and Lan Wangji looks non the wiser every time he declines. Probably assuming Jiang Cheng is declining to give him and Wei Wuxian some privacy.Jiang Cheng keeps up with his studies, he keeps running because it feels nice to de-stress that way. The seasons change. There have been five consecutive days of drizzling rain. Wei Wuxian stares out the window with a wistful sigh. The rain keeps him from running around out there, causing trouble, which is good for Jiang Cheng’s peace of mind, but he also knows his brother’s restlessness is going to drive him up the walls sooner or later. Right now though, it’s a melancholy sort of restlessness.“Don’t you think Lan Zhan is one of those people who would look so totally gorgeous in the rain?”Jiang Cheng looks up from his literature paper. He’s trying to liken his love for his family to his sister’s lotus root soup and it’s going terribly. Nie Huaisang is having much more luck beside him. This is one of the subjects in school he’s actually interested in. So, naturally he excels in it.“I realize this is just part of one of thousands of scenarios in which you imagine Lan Wangji in some ludicrous sexual situation, like the pervert you are.”“Hey!”Huaisang chuckles at Wei Wuxian’s outrage and Jiang Cheng’s wording, but otherwise doesn’t break out of his writing.“But” Jiang Cheng continues “why do you feel the need to tell me about it?”“Who else am I going to daydream to?”“You could keep it to yourself.” Jiang Cheng suggests. Wei Wuxian grumbles and pouts, as usual. “Or you could actually go have that scenario play out and not just dream about it. Have you really still not confessed to him?”“I was waiting for the right time!” Wei Wuxian whines.“The right time will never come. Do it now.” Jiang Cheng says. Can’t believe he’s pushing his brother towards romantic action. But he’s doing it. And he kind of wants this whole longing from afar situation to end, once and for all. As if on cue Lan Wangji walks out into the raining courtyard, a white and light blue colored umbrella in hand.Wei Wuxian lights up.“There’s your dream scenario, Wei Wuxian. Go and have a kiss in the rain or something.” Jiang Cheng says, makes it sound almost offhandedly and he doesn’t look up from his paper as Wei Wuxian runs out of the room.“That was really nice of you, Jiang Cheng.” Nie Huaisang looks up at him, pausing his writing and giving him a soft smile.Jiang Cheng shrugs his shoulders. “Whatever. I was just sick of hearing him whining about it.”Chuckling Nie Huaisang returns to his paper “Sure.” Doesn’t sound like he believes Jiang Cheng’s flippant words.A moment later Wei Wuxian’s voice is heard across the school courtyard. Lan Wangji turns around upon hearing his name being called. They stand there, in the rain. Wei Wuxian without an umbrella. Lan Wangji comes into his space to shelter him from the drizzles and they speak for a few moments. And then Wei Wuxian closes the space between them and kisses Lan Wangji, both of his hands cupping his cheeks. Lan Wangji drops the umbrella and both his hands encircle Wei Wuxian’s waist, they kiss in the rain, as Jiang Cheng had predicted. He smiles softly to himself, glad that Wei Wuxian’s feelings are actually requited. * After the kiss in the rain Wei Wuxian had been unbelievably happy. The day after, the pair came to school, hand in hand, and announced their relationship status immediately. Jiang Cheng was happy for them and though he found it awkward to voice it, he grumbled something about them being well-suited for each other after all. Nie Huaisang thought they were adorable, but more than ever sought Jiang Cheng’s company as soon as the two became too lovey-dovey in front of him.“I’ll admit, they’re great material for my books. But there’s only so many times I can watch my friends make out in front of me without wanting to pour bleach into my eyes.”Jiang Cheng couldn’t agree more. Although Wei Wuxian wasn’t his brother by blood, he’d been adopted into the family when they had both been very young, and Jiang Cheng saw him as a real brother. Moreover Jiang Cheng was never the romantic or sentimental type so too many romantic gestures made him a little bit put off. That being said, he was still happy his brother had finally gained the love he’d sought for the most part of the semester. And he was thankful to Lan Wangji for not being overly fond of public displays of affection. Autumn turns into winter. Jiang Cheng hasn’t seen Lan Xichen since that devastating day at the mall. One day Lan Wangji looks even more serious than he usually does. Jiang Cheng hardly noticed, it is Wei Wuxian who wonders with soft spoken words what’s wrong.“My brother is leaving the country.” he says, and Jiang Cheng’s heart stops.“What?” Wei Wuxian asks, glancing at Jiang Cheng, ever so slightly.“His boyfriend, Jin Guangyao, was offered a prestigious job in London. They will be moving to London together.”Jiang Cheng bites down on his anger, bites down on his sadness. His jealousy, his longing. All of it. Now, all he wants to do is see Lan Xichen again. But how can he? He has no right.“They’re moving to London?!” Wei Wuxian exclaims in Jiang Cheng’s place. “What about your brother? What will he do there? Doesn’t he have a job here? What’s going to happen with that?”“He said he will take on a normal teaching job until he can find something more suitable.” Lan Wangji shrugs, like he doesn’t know what it means. Maybe there are no set plans.“But...London…is in Europe. That’s so far away.” Wei Wuxian says, covers Lan Wangji’s hand with his own, looks at Jiang Cheng like he wishes he could do the same for him without exposing him.“I will miss him.” Lan Wangji admits. Jiang Cheng has never felt so connected to him as in this moment. He breathes through the ache in his heart. His sister had moved far away when she got married after all, so he knows the pain of a beloved sibling leaving. It wasn’t as far away as Europe, but far enough that they couldn’t meet other than on holidays. Jiang Cheng’s heart had ached for a long time, but at least his sister still talks to him. Still video calls him weekly and sends cute photos of her baby boy Jin Ling often. He hates having to watch his nephew grow up from afar, but that’s just the way life goes sometimes.He won’t miss Lan Xichen the way he misses his sister. The aches are of different natures, and not comparable in the least.“When is he leaving?” Wei Wuxian asks after a long silence.“He will leave at the end of the month.” A month later, the terrible chill of winter that sets into Jiang Cheng’s bones as he goes out for his daily lap around the block, turns into true winter as thick flakes of snow fall from the sky.

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Four years after he last saw Lan Xichen Jiang Cheng realizes there is a word for what he is experiencing. He stumbles upon the words asexual and aromantic quite by chance while scrolling through social media. He hasn’t heard about it before and wonders what the words mean. Out of pure curiosity he puts the terms into a search engine and spends some time reading about a type of sexuality he had no idea even existed.It feels like an epiphany, finding these words, learning the meaning of them. And learning that there are other people in the world who also feel the same way. During the 18 years of his life before Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng had never once felt romantic feelings towards anyone nor sexual ones either. And after Lan Xichen, now, four years later, he still hasn’t found another person attractive, romantically or sexually. At first he spends days and weeks, even a couple of months wondering what it means for him to have had such feelings towards Lan Xichen. Because Jiang Cheng does think what he felt for Lan Xichen must have been romantic. Was Lan Xichen just that special? Was it Jiang Cheng who couldn’t move on from him? Is it just that no one else could ever compare to his perfect, yet star-crossed first crush?At this point Jiang Cheng doesn’t have all the answers and he thinks maybe he is never going to have all the answers, and that is okay. So for the moment he’s willing to call this an anomaly in an otherwise very aroace existence.He holds his identity a secret until he feels ready to tell people. It’s about six months after first having realized this is part of his identity that he tells his friends. Wei Wuxian acts surprised, actually he acts so over the top surprised that Jiang Cheng is immediately irate with him, because he now suspects Wei Wuxian has known for some time about this whole aroace business and Jiang Cheng doesn’t want to ask him how long he’s suspected him to be aroace and then find out it’s been years and he’s just never brought it up. So he doesn’t ask Wei Wuxian anything. Just lets the information sit between them. Lan Wangji doesn’t react other than to say congratulations, which in all honesty Jiang Cheng appreciates. Nie Huaisang seems more generally surprised, not of him being aroace but more because he’s never heard of it before and he’s terribly interested in what being aromantic and asexual entails.Jiang Cheng does not tell his parents. His sister has already given birth to a child, so they don’t have to complain about not having any grandchildren. But his mother is starting to hint to him that she wants to set him up on dates, which, just no. He refuses every single time, to her great dismay. His father, as usual, doesn’t seem to care about his love life. Just like any other aspect of his life, for that matter. To his great relief though, it’s a non-issue for most of them and they don’t really talk about his aroaceness on a daily basis. He doesn’t feel like spending hours talking about it anyway, he just wants to live his life, working towards goal after goal at his own pace.It’s only a couple of weeks later when he’s meeting up with Nie Huaisang at a coffee shop that the subject is brought up again.“You know that aromantic asexual stuff you were talking about last time? I think I am that too!” Nie Huaisang says.“What? No, but you write romance novels for a living! And you love that manhua porn you always used to traumatize me with in high school!”“As a matter of fact, I did my own research on the subject. It turns out there’s a whole lot of aromantic asexuals out there who love romance and sex in fiction, but who do not want to have the romance and sex for themselves in their own lives!” He says, upbeat and cheerful, as if he’s happy to have found out about it.“Oh?” Jiang Cheng says, hasn’t even thought about that there might be others who differ in their experience. But when he thinks about it, it makes sense. Nie Huaisang has never had a partner, he tried dating a few times, but it went so disastrously and Huaisang was so horrified by the experience that he even stopped writing for a while. He had even gone into a little bit of a depressive state. Jiang Cheng had been worried about him and had called him every day to check on him. But after some time he’d returned to normal, but had never returned to dating, which Jiang Cheng thought was probably for the best.“It’s a micro label under the a-spec umbrella called aegoromantic, or aegosexual.” Nie Huaisang beams at him. He looks so at ease with himself. He looks so genuinely happy to have found out about this, it’s melting Jiang Cheng’s heart. He can feel his own features softening into a gentle smile.“You really did do your research.”“Of course.” Huaisang takes a dainty sip of his latte, the foam art of a flower being destroyed a little bit by his sips, despite him being careful.Jiang Cheng takes a big slurp of his plain black coffee.“I didn’t think there was anything wrong with not dating. Because I was always so romantic with my stories and daydreaming. I thought, maybe it’s just fate that’s taking a little extra time with me, maybe my fated lover will come to me when the time is right. But then the time just never came. When my brother tried setting me up on dates it never felt right. I hated every second of it. The way the girls just felt like friends, and I was supposed to act out some role with them I had absolutely no idea how to fill. The way the guys were handsy and assumed I wanted to sleep with them on the first date. Not that they were all that bad, but the worst of them made me wonder time and time again why I was putting myself through this when I could just be laughing with my friends instead? When I could be comfortable and enjoy my time instead of feeling awkward and disinterested. I used to wonder for so many years why I was never interested in someone. And then I thought of you and how you seemed perfectly normal not being interested in someone either...for the most part.” His eyes dart to Jiang Cheng guiltily, knowing he’s thinking of that one time he was in love with Lan Xichen. “I thought, maybe it’s not so bad if I can be alone too.” Huaisang laughs. “And then you go and drop a whole aromantic and asexual orientation on me and – Jiang Cheng, I can’t thank you enough for coming out!”Jiang Cheng chokes on his coffee. He spends a few moments coughing and sputtering and Nie Huaisang gives him some tissues to clean himself up with.“You don’t have to thank me!” he exclaims, stunned by this impromptu confession.“Without you I might never have understood why I was so interested in romance in novels but never in romance in real life. So yes, I do have to thank you.” He reaches over, patting his hand carefully, a brother in arms in more ways than one.In the past Jiang Cheng didn’t think there was one person in the world who understood him. But now he realizes that he’s been wrong all along. Wei Wuxian has always understood that his temper was never malice nor ever taken it personally whenever Jiang Cheng’s gone off the handle. Lan Xichen, though his presence in Jiang Cheng’s life was brief, he still understood that sometimes Jiang Cheng needs to be handled with softness and care. And Nie Huaisang not only understood his complex emotions towards Lan Xichen, but now he finds out he also understands his feelings on dating. His lack of romantic or sexual attraction. Jiang Cheng doesn’t argue anymore. He just clinks his cup of coffee with Huaisang’s latte.“You’re welcome.”*The next time Jiang Cheng meets Lan Xichen he is 28 years old.

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The next time Jiang Cheng meets Lan Xichen he is 28 years old.Ten years have passed. Time is a funny thing, no matter what you do with your life time moves on. It doesn’t matter if you spend every single second maximizing your time, filling it with work, play, exercise, obligations, passions or duties. Or if you simply exist, doing the bare minimum. Time will move on anyway, no matter how you spend it.Ten years have passed. Life has gone on since the last time he saw Lan Xichen. He’s lived a full life; rich, fun and complete. He’s never once felt like he wasn’t on the right path. He’s never once felt like being aromantic and asexual was a problem, like there was a desire unfulfilled or he was missing out. Jiang Cheng loves his job, he loves his hobbies, he loves his family and his friends. He loves his alone time after a long day at work when he can just go home and recharge doing whatever he wants. Mostly what he wants to do involves running, watching some new fantasy drama and winding down with a glass of wine on the weekend. He’s never once felt romantic attraction again. That’s why his almost visceral reaction meeting Lan Xichen again after 10 years confuses the hell out of him. * * * Wei Wuxian is, of course, having a crisis.“Where is the ring!?” he shouts over the phone, the desperation in his voice ringing through Jiang Cheng’s ears.“You lost the ring? How could you lose the ring?!”He’s driving up from Yunmeng to Gusu for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s wedding. They are to have a ceremony at a venue near the city center first and then relocate to a hotel for a whole seven days of celebrations. This was Wei Wuxian’s brilliant idea of course. How he got his much more reasonable fiance to agree to this spectacle is still a mystery. But Jiang Cheng supposes that Lan Wangji has always been very soft for Wei Wuxian. At least since they got together.The plan was for Jiang Cheng to check into the hotel and leave his stuff there and then come help out with the best man duties afterwards. But in light of this brand new crisis, it seems he has to change his plans. His best man duties are literally calling.“Yelling at me won’t help!”“I’m still on the road. But I’m only half an hour away, so just hold on until I get there, okay Wei Wuxian?”“Okay” his voice sounds small, Jiang Cheng can hear the worry in his brother’s voice.“Don’t worry, we’ll find it. I’ll hang up now, but I’ll be there soon. Don’t panic!”“Okay.” Wei Wuxian replies “Just get here quickly.”Jiang Cheng steps on the gas pedal. * When he arrives he finds Wei Wuxian has upended the entire room where he’s supposed to wait for the groomsmen. But Wen Ning, Wen Qing and Nie Huaisang have yet to appear. Jiang Cheng calms Wei Wuxian down as best he can and then spends the next 45 minutes looking for a tiny little box containing the ring he’s going to put on Lan Wangji’s finger in mere moments. Precisely when Jiang Cheng goes to check the bathroom (where he indeed finds the ring on top of the sink!) the groomsmen appear, along with the first of the guests.“You lost the ring?!” Wen Qing exclaims at Wei Wuxian as Jiang Cheng enters the room.“I didn’t mean to!” he cries while the others help Wei Wuxian look around the room, and subtly put all the stuff back in order.“Never mind, I found it.” Jiang Cheng cuts in before the two can get into their regular bickering. “Now, I have your suit, pressed and clean and all you have to do is put it on. Go on, hurry up!” Jiang Cheng says, holding up the suit and a pair of shoes to match. Wei Wuxian disappears behind a screen, he seems the most frazzled Jiang Cheng has ever seen him.“Breathe, Wei Wuxian.” Jiang Cheng orders. Wei Wuxian obeys in his vulnerable state. He takes the box containing the ring from Jiang Cheng’s hand and pops the lid open, looks at the ring and a small smile spreads over his face. That’s a good sign. He’s probably thinking about Lan Wangji and how he’s going to put the ring on his finger later. It seems to put him at ease for a moment. Good.Suddenly his head snaps up from his musing and big eyes filled with worry looks at everyone in turn. “What about Lan Zhan? Is he all alone in the other room? What if he’s panicking like I was? What if he needs something? I should go and check on him.”Four pairs of hands stop him from leaving the room.“Don’t worry, he’s fine. I’ve never seen Lan Wangji panic a day in my life.” Nie Huaisang says.“Besides, he has his brother and uncle. They’re sure to provide him with any help he needs.” Wen Ning tries to comfort Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng is thankful for it. Wei Wuxian does have nice friends. He tries not to think about Lan Wangji’s brother too much at the mention of him. He thinks he’ll be fine seeing him today. Those feelings that he had such a hard time with 10 years ago are sure to be all but eradicated by now, right?“If you want I can go and check on him? I do have joint groomsman duties to the both of you after all.” Nie Huaisang suggests. It puts a relieved smile on Wei Wuxian’s face.“Will you?”“Of course.” Nie Huaisang says easily and then strides off to search for Lan Wangji’s room.While Nie Huaisang is gone Jiang Cheng finally changes into the clothes he brought. A suit in black, gray and purple tones. Purple the color of the blossoms blooming currently in Yunmeng. He looks quite dapper in it if he may say so himself. After his change he opens a bottle of bubbly. Non-alcoholic as per Wei Wuxian’s wishes. He wanted to be completely sober for this so he could memorize every single expression on Lan Wangji’s face as they marry, he’d said. Not that Jiang Cheng has ever been able to distinguish his expressions. Not like Wei Wuxian and Lan Xichen can. Jiang Cheng’s brother is such a sap. He loves him. He pours the liquid into five flutes and hands one to each person in the room. Nie Huaisang will have to drink his later when he comes back.“So, how does it feel? Your last moment of freedom?” Wen Qing asks as she drapes herself over a sofa, like she was born to lounge around in silk dresses and command rooms.“Like I want this moment to be over with already.”“Aaaaaw” Wen Ning coos. It’s strange how different he is from his sister. Wen Ning has always been romantic, timid and shy, while his big sister Wen Qing is direct, brash and a little bit jaded.Jiang Cheng laughs, knowing Wei Wuxian’s comment is likely a combination of nerves and that he’s waited to be married to Lan Wangji since the day they met. Whatever took him 10 years to propose, Jiang Cheng will never know.His brother is antsy, he wants to check on Lan Wangji but Jiang Cheng does his best to calm him down, to assure him that his own brother and Nie Huaisang are perfectly capable to see to any needs he might express. Just as he reminds him of this Nie Huaisang comes back in the room.“Alas, I am superfluous. Lan Wangji has assured me that he is fine. Or rather his brother did.”Jiang Cheng hands Nie Huaisang his flute, pretending like he didn’t hear that. Wei Wuxian looks at Jiang Cheng with a concerned stare as Lan Xichen is mentioned. He hasn’t forgotten either, after all these years. The one person Jiang Cheng has ever had romantic feelings for.“Are you going to be alright? Seeing him today?”All eyes on him. Wei Wuxian looking worried, Nie Huaisang barely containing his curiosity, the Wen siblings looking lost on the conversation. Jiang Cheng puts his best smile on.“This is your wedding day, Wei Wuxian. You don’t need to worry about me, I’ll be fine.”“I’m glad you’re here today.” Wei Wuxian says and it’s unexpectedly sweet. Jiang Cheng’s heart is full. They don’t always say how much they mean to each other in words because some things may be unspoken but are still understood.“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He replies, clapping Wei Wuxian on the shoulder.“I’m thankful for all of you!” Wei Wuxian exclaims with a wide smile.“Don’t get all soft on us now.” Wen Qing complains. But lifts her flute and toasts to Wei Wuxian’s marital bliss with a cheeky wink.The door bursts open and Jiang Cheng’s sister runs into the room as if she’s been chased by demons. “I’m here!” she exclaims and Wei Wuxian throws himself into her embrace.“Jiejie!”Wei Wuxian was always so fond of Jiang Yanli. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian may have their differences as people and may have their fair share of fights and disagreements, but one thing they’ve always shared has been their complete love and devotion to their mild-mannered sister. Jiang Yanli, with her gentleness, have always made the both of them softer people. The big sister they both cherish.Once Wei Wuxian has extricated himself from Jiang Yanli’s embrace, Jiang Cheng takes his place.“Jiejie, how was your trip?”“Oh it was awful. The plane was delayed and then there was a problem with the car rental. Zixuan was grumpy the whole car ride and my son was no better. Well, anyway I am here now!” She says, smiling brightly. “And I am ready to see my baby brother get married.” She reaches up to cup Wei Wuxian’s cheek in her hand. Her eyes shine with unshed tears. Wei Wuxian is tearing up too.“Alright, that’s enough maudlin emotions. Save some for the groom...” Jiang Cheng cuts in and looks at his wrist watch. “...and the ceremony, which is supposed to start in five minutes.”At the mention of the time, everybody rush out of the room to move towards the ceremony hall. * It doesn’t hit Jiang Cheng until the moment he sees him. It’s like time stops, or like it moves in slow motion. The groomsmen and women walk up to stand to the side so Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji can take center stage and pay their respects to the family altar, and then do the tea ceremony to honor their parents. Seeing as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are both without living biological parents Jiang Fengmian, his adopted father (and Jiang Cheng’s biological father) and Lan Qiren, Lan Wangji’s uncle take their place.Lan Xichen is just as gorgeous as he was 10 years ago. It stuns Jiang Cheng a little bit. His skin looks just as smooth, his skin tone just as glowing. His gaze just as dark and beautiful. He smiles at the grooms in front of them and a couple of laugh lines appear around his eyes, the only visible proof that he’s not some immortal faerie lord. Jiang Cheng ignores the way his stomach flips in a way it hasn’t done, not once in 10 years. He holds his breath and the world falls away around him as he keeps staring and is unable to look away from the beautiful man. Suddenly Lan Xichen’s eyes meet his and Jiang Cheng is startled back into the moment. He draws a deep breath. Nie Huaisang elbows him in the ribs, signaling his cue to produce the ring that Wei Wuxian then carefully places onto Lan Wangji’s finger. Jiang Cheng steadfastly keeps his attention on the wedding ceremony from then on. Hates the way his palms get sweaty and feels Lan Xichen’s eyes on him every once in a while as if he’s been hit by lasers.When the two grooms have gone through all of the necessary matrimonial proceedings the couple kiss and people clap and cheer and they declare that the dinner and subsequent party is going to be held back at the hotel. The hotel Jiang Cheng has yet to check into. With all of the chaos of this morning and finding the ring, Jiang Cheng has not had the time. But, they are going there now. He’ll just check in later. As they arrive at the hotel the guests start filing into the dining hall.Jiang Cheng is placed at a table with his parents, his sister and her husband and their 15 year old son Jin Ling and Nie Huaisang. Unlike his sister, Jiang Cheng’s mother has never had a great love for Wei Wuxian, but Jiang Cheng thinks she’s reigned it in tonight. Ever since he declared he was going to marry Lan Wangji she has been oddly amenable to his presence. She even went so far as to give him her blessing going forth and pursuing this marriage. Jiang Cheng thinks that maybe that has something to do with the fact that the Lans are a very respectable family, known for their grace, beauty and wealth though the generations. Wei Wuxian, her adopted son, marrying into such a family would put the Jiang family in high esteem. A respectable connection. Jiang Cheng has never really cared for such things as old money, aristocracy or the like. But at least it’s putting a content expression on his mother’s face during the course of the evening. And as they say, happy wife happy life, his father not being scolded or yelled at for once by his wife, is enormously happy, talking excitedly about visiting the newlyweds in their stately new house when they come back from their travels abroad. Dinner goes on in a pleasant manner, they eat, they toast to the newlyweds, they have wedding cake and the volume around them increases as people start getting comfortable with each other and the alcohol starts flowing.Jiang Cheng’s eyes dart over to where Lan Xichen is talking to some aunt or uncle, a pleasant smile on his face. He stares for as long as he can until he sees Lan Xichen’s gaze shift and before their eyes can meet he looks away, looking down at the table, at the glass of wine in front of him and pretends he’d never been staring in the first place. Nie Huaisang snorts beside him.“What?” Jiang Cheng says defensively.“Subtlety was never your strong suit Jiang Cheng.” Nie Huaisang takes a sip of his wine with a pleased smile.“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He denies.“Hm.” Nie Huaisang hums to himself, seems to think something is very funny about Jiang Cheng judging by his expression. “During all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you blush over anyone but Lan Xichen. And here you are again, blushing.” he said in a low voice only for Jiang Cheng to hear.“It’s the wine.” Jiang Cheng defends. Knows he’s being immature, but what can he do? Lan Xichen may have been a crush from when he was just a teenage boy, but just because he’s not a boy anymore it doesn’t make him any less affected. And it doesn’t make him any less insecure about it. Besides, Lan Xichen is still gorgeous.“Please..” Huaisang rolls his eyes and sets his glass down to talk to Jiang Cheng properly. “You’re basically mooning over him already. Why don’t you go over there and ask him to dance or something?”“As if he’d say yes...” Jiang Cheng says sarcastically. Lucky for him Huaisang is long accustomed to his snappy comments when he’s feeling defensive and mostly ignores it.“Maybe he will? But how are you going to know that unless you go over there and ask him?”Damn Nie Huaisang and his romantic heart. Jiang Cheng isn’t going to put himself through that, no matter how many years have passed since his teenage crush. And no matter how many years it’s been it still doesn’t make Lan Xichen any more single than before, so why should he?“Are you kidding me? He’s probably married by now.” Married to that smarmy snake.“Are you sure about that?” Nie Huaisang says with a curious glint in his eyes, picking up his wine glass again. “Do you see a husband by his side right now? Have you seen one beside him all night? Is it a ghost of a husband? Because I sure don’t see one.”Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at Huaisang’s sarcasm.“Lan Xichen lived in London for a long time. His husband is obviously over there right now and couldn’t come to the wedding for an important reason.”“Wow. You’ve really made up every possible excuse in your head not to talk to him, have you?”Jiang Cheng takes Nie Huaisang’s wine glass and holds it out of his reach.“That’s it. No more alcohol for you.”“Very mature.” Nie Huaisang makes a face.“What are you two bickering about over there?” Jiang Yanli says from the other side of the table, looking at them with an amused expression. Jiang Cheng melts at his sister’s kind smile.“About how Jiang Cheng has to make a move on-”Jiang Cheng’s eyes shoot up in panic and he covers Nie Huaisang’s mouth with his hand.“More wine. How I need to make a move to the bar because I need more to drink if I’m going to survive the night in A-Sang’s company.”His sister laughs, and it’s a melodious sound. “A-Cheng! Be kinder to A-Sang.”“Yeah!” Nie Huaisang chirps up, teasingly “Be kinder to A-Sang. And heed his words.”“Can’t promise anything.” Jiang Cheng says as he rises from the chair.“Can’t or won’t?” Huaisang retorts.With that Jiang Cheng does move over to the bar, where people have started to congregate. Some have taken to the dance floor already and it’s not until a few minutes into his fourth glass of wine that the dance floor is already half full. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have made rounds to every table, talking to all the guests and are now heading for the dance floor. Jiang Cheng watches his brother cling to Lan Wangji, looking stupidly in love – and his now husband doesn’t spare an eye for a single other person in the room. As if Wei Wuxian is the only other person there. Jiang Cheng snorts. They’re sickeningly sweet. He both loves it and hates it at the same time.“They’ve always been so in love, haven’t they?”Jiang Cheng hears a voice beside him. A voice like dark molasses. A voice that sends shivers down his spine and that he knows the owner of immediately. He turns to see Lan Xichen beside him, that ever-present gentle smile on his face. Jiang Cheng feels his head spin, but it’s not from the wine.“Lan Xichen-ge.” He says, hates how he sounds just as stunned as he feels by the other man’s presence. If Lan Xichen notices, he doesn’t let on.“It’s nice to see you again, Jiang Cheng.”Jiang Cheng. Formal. Not the familiar ‘A-Cheng’ that he’d gotten used to 10 years ago. His heart drops. He downs the rest of his glass of wine in one swoop and orders a new one.“’S nice to see you too.” Jiang Cheng manages to say. His speech is starting to slur a little bit. Great, that means the alcohol is working.“How have you been?” He asks, sounds hesitant. Like maybe Jiang Cheng will walk away if he talks to him. If he starts talking about his snake husband, maybe he will.“I’ve been fine. Great, actually.” he says as an afterthought.“Right! I heard that you took over as vice president at Jiang Group.”Jiang Cheng’s jaw drops. How in the world did he hear that? Did he ask after him? No, wait, he must have overheard it during the festivities. Or maybe Lan Wangji regaled him with the news when he had nothing more exciting to report from home.Lan Xichen laughs, and it must be at the dumb expression on his face because he says:“I talked to your parents a few moments ago. I was looking for you and they sort of hauled me into a rather long conversation. They’re very proud of you, you know?”Nothing about his parents register for Jiang Cheng, only one thing drew his attention.“You were looking for me?”Lan Xichen smiles, it’s small and bashful. It is far too cute not to make Jiang Cheng’s stupid nostalgic heart go ba-dump.“Yes. I wanted to speak to you. You’re the person I know best from the Jiang family after all.” he winks. “And...” he adds, looking down at his feet for a moment, a wistful smile. “And I’d like to think we were friends once. Weren’t we?”Ba-dump.Yes. Jiang Cheng’s heart definitely did a couple of extra beats in his chest. There’s no denying it. Fuck. He ignores it for now. Decides he’s better off pretending like it didn’t happen. He wonders briefly if he can pretend like this entire moment didn’t happen. Can he un-hear this? It’s messing with his head in so many ways.“Yes” he says, instead of voicing any of the unhinged thoughts in his alcohol addled brain “we were friends. Once.” Jiang Cheng takes a long sip of his wine. A sip? More like gulp with how much of it he downs in one go.The smile on Lan Xichen’s face widens. God, he’s gorgeous. No. Stop. Don’t.“How was London?” he asks, instead of inquiring about his stupid smarmy husband.Lan Xichen looks a little reserved. A crease between his eyebrows Jiang Cheng just barely holds himself from reaching up to smooth it out with a thumb.“It was fine.” he says. Hm. Curious. Obviously he doesn’t seem prone to talk about it, but for some reason he does anyway. “London was great. It’s an amazing city. There’s always something to do, which I’m thankful for. The weather is drizzly, not like the Cloud Recesses, but in a colder way. The food isn’t bad. There’s such a wide variety of people there. Which is all great. But...it’s not home.”“You missed home?” Jiang Cheng asks, hears the pity come out in his voice as it rises to a higher pitch. But Lan Xichen doesn’t seem to mind. He just smiles.“I did miss home. Which is why it’s great to be back here again.” He declares, looking content.“It’s really nice to see you again.” Jiang Cheng says before he can stop himself. Lan Xichen’s smile turns into a surprised expression, surprise turning into a wide smile. His smiles really have no business being so attractive.Before Jiang Cheng can embarrass himself any further Wen Ning comes up to Jiang Cheng and without further ado drags him up to the dance floor.“What are you doing??!” Jiang Cheng exclaims, trying to free himself from Wen Ning’s grip, but the other man is deceptively strong.“I was ordered by Wei Wuxian to bring you to the dance floor.” he says and when he does reach the dance floor his brother envelops him into a hug. He holds him close for a few moments, swaying to the music then whispers into his ear.“Are you alright? I saw you talk to Lan Xichen.”“I’m fine.” Jiang Cheng grits out. “Or I was doing fine until your little underling dragged me away from him.”“Oh?” Wei Wuxian looks suddenly excited. “You were doing fine, were you now?”Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at his brother.“Okay maybe not that fine. Maybe it was a little bit awkward. But nothing I can’t handle.”Maybe it had been awkward. But maybe it had also been nice. An undercurrent of something going through him as Lan Xichen spoke. And maybe that something hadn’t been entirely unpleasant.Wei Wuxian laughs and pats the back of his head. “That’s the Jiang Cheng I know! There’s nothing you can’t handle.”“That’s right. Besides, what the hell are you worrying about me for? You should be enjoying dancing with your husband. Go get your man before the aunties get their claws in him and then you won’t see him for the rest of the night.”Wei Wuxian looks over where Lan Wangji is being talked at by some elderly family members and gives his brother a wink.“You’re right. Thanks for the heads up.” he says and then disappears to fetch his husband from the relatives with a quick-witted and charming excuse.When Jiang Cheng turns around Lan Xichen is no longer at the bar. He drinks the rest of his wine he’s left there and after a dance or two with Wen Qing he asks her if she’s seen Lan Xichen by any chance.“No. I haven’t seen him in a while. I think he’s gone home or gone to his boyfriend or something.” she says with a casual shrug. Just hearing the mention of Lan Xichen’s boyfriend (or possibly husband) has Jiang Cheng’s mood swing right back to where it was before they’d talked.Instead of getting another glass of wine, he throws a big wad of money on the counter and uncorks an entire bottle of red wine. He watches the throng of people move to pop classics for a while, before he starts to feel pathetically lonely and self-conscious about standing with a bottle of wine at the bar and opens up the doors from the combined dining hall and ballroom to go get some fresh air.There’s a few bushes and potted plants right outside on the cobbled walkway surrounding an oblong water feature. At the end of the water feature there’s a pavilion. Jiang Cheng takes his bottle and sits down. Feels the swirl of the alcohol lull his mind into something quieter, away from the throng of people inside the hotel. The darkness of the night sky is comforting, the tiny stars blinking down on him make for pretty companions. He raises the bottle of wine to the sky.“Here’s to looking at you!” he says and takes a swig.“Here’s to looking at who?” he hears a voice beside him. He almost chokes on his drink, coughing as he sees Lan Xichen stand a couple of paces away.“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”He looks amused.“Are you okay, Jiang Cheng?” he asks. Still formal. Whatever happened to ‘A-Cheng’?“I thought you’d gone-” Jiang Cheng stops himself. Home? To The Cloud Recesses? To the hotel room? To London? To his boyfriend or husband or whatever that Jin Guangyao was to him now? He doesn’t say anything else, let’s it end at ‘gone’.“Me? No. I was just taking a breather away from all the commotion. I take it you’re out here to do the same?” he asks, tilting his head to the side in question.“I was. I am.” Jiang Cheng says. He knows he sounds drunk. Knows he probably looks it too. Right now he doesn’t care. It’s a party after all. So what if he’s a little bit sloshed?“Who were you drinking to?”“The sky, the stars.” Jiang Cheng answers. Doesn’t know if that makes him sound insane, but Lan Xichen only looks up and smiles, as if in approval. When he looks down at Jiang Cheng again, he’s still smiling.“Do you mind if I join you?” he asks.Jiang Cheng pats the space beside him and Lan Xichen sits down gingerly.“You know, it’s still strange for me to see you with alcohol in this way. Back when we first met I’d be the one stopping you from drinking.”Jiang Cheng snorts. “That was a very long time ago, Xichen-ge. I’m afraid I’ve been able to drink for some years now.”“I guess that’s true, Jiang Cheng.”“Do you mind if I call you Xichen-ge?” Jiang Cheng asks, because he is thoroughly drunk and so he figures he can afford to be shameless. Just this once.Lan Xichen’s face lights up. He looks stunning. “Not at all!”“Then you have to call me A-Cheng. Like you used to.” he demands, just because he’s that shameless, yes. Lan Xichen doesn’t seem to mind though. He only smiles at him warmly.“Then I will, A-Cheng.”Jiang Cheng doesn’t know what it is. But when Lan Xichen says his name like that, it sounds far more intimate than when he says any other thing. Jiang Cheng has missed it so much.Has missed him. His presence. Their chemistry. He’s missed him so much he doesn’t want to delve right into those thoughts right now, with so much alcohol flowing through his veins he’s afraid he might do something embarrassing like crying.Lan Xichen is looking at Jiang Cheng, looking long and hard as if he can’t figure something out.“I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since we last saw each other.” he says, not what Jiang Cheng was expecting, but yes, that is true.“Mm. Yeah. I can’t believe I’m 28 years old now. I’m almost thirty, which is crazy. How can time go by so fucking quickly?”“Oh, wow you’re 28 already?” Lan Xichen says and then hides his face behind his hands “Then how old does that make me?”Jiang Cheng looks up at the starry night sky as he thinks.“No! Don’t do the math!” Lan Xichen says.“Oh my god, does that mean you’re 38 years old right now?” Jiang Cheng feels like he’s having an out of body experience. There is no way this man in front of him is 38 years old.“You did the math!” Lan Xichen complains. “I told you not to.”“Sorry.” Jiang Cheng says, not feeling sorry at all “It was really simple math. I couldn’t help myself.”Lan Xichen laughs at that. He looks a bit embarrassed, but happy. Jiang Cheng likes that look on him.“I can’t believe you are 38 years old, you don’t look any different from back in my high school days.”“I’m sure that’s not true.” Lan Xichen says soberly.“No. It is.” Jiang Cheng says adamantly and Lan Xichen looks at him in surprise for a moment until his mouth draws up into a small smile.“If I didn’t know any better I’d check you for a pulse, because there’s no way anyone can be as well preserved as you and not be a vampire or something.”Lan Xichen laughs. Jiang Cheng knows he says the dumbest things around Lan Xichen, but somehow because it usually makes the man smile and laugh, he doesn’t mind it so much. His heart warms every time he hears that laugh. Whether it’s a small chuckle or a louder one.He takes a swig of his wine bottle. Holds it out to Lan Xichen who declines the alcohol. Jiang Cheng takes another gulp.“So why isn’t your husband here with you right now?” Jiang Cheng asks, because he’s brave. Made so by the approximately two bottles of wine he’s almost drank all by himself.Lan Xichen’s head shifts to him fast and he looks a little bit shocked.“What husband?”“Oh? You’re not married yet? I thought for sure that Jin guy would be smart enough to put a ring on you by now. Lock you down.” Jiang Cheng slurs.“I’m not married.” Lan Xichen says, his smiles are gone. Jiang Cheng wonders why.“What about you A-Cheng? Are you seeing anyone?” he asks. Jiang Cheng can’t interpret his tone of voice. He sounds oddly cautious.“Nope! Free as a bird. As per usual.” Jiang Cheng laughs. And he’s happy he thinks, to be single. He’s been happy about it all this time.“Ah. I’m single too.” Lan Xichen smiles, it’s small, bashful. Jiang Cheng almost drops the bottle of wine into the water feature.He turns to Lan Xichen, his jaw dropping in disbelief. “You’re single??! What happened to that boyfriend of yours? The one with the smarmy way of speaking.”Lan Xichen smiles, but it’s more of a bitter one.“He, ah...he broke up with me.” he admits, looks kind of sheepish about it, which does not make sense to Jiang Cheng at all. None of this makes sense.“What?!?!” Jiang Cheng is baffled by the very idea, swaying a little bit where he sits. Fuck, he may be drunker than he thought he was.“What kind of an IDIOT breaks up with someone like you??” His voice is way too loud, he knows.Lan Xichen looks taken aback, he just stares at Jiang Cheng for a long few moments. And then he breaks out into hysterical laughter.“Why are you laughing?”Lan Xichen braces himself on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, holding his stomach with the other hand, leaning into him a little bit with the force of his movements.“You’re so funny A-Cheng. I haven’t had a good laugh in a while, thank you.” he says wiping tears from his eyes. Leaning away from Jiang Cheng again.“I’m just being honest. You’re kind, intelligent, successful and talented and on top of everything you’re probably the hottest man I’ve ever seen! What’s so funny about that?”Lan Xichen’s eyebrows shoot up at that last bit. “You think I’m hot?”Ah shit, here he goes again, making a fool of himself. But right now, with the alcohol rushing through his veins he can’t even pretend to give a crap.“Yeah. I mean. Doesn’t everyone? Aren’t you like ranked highest on some Good Looking Men of Gusu list or something?” Saved again by his fast working brain. Good job, drunk Jiang Cheng!Lan Xichen laughs again, slapping Jiang Cheng’s shoulder playfully.“I appreciate the sentiment but I’m afraid beauty will only take you so far in a relationship.”That’s not something Jiang Cheng would know. Because he’s never been in one.“And I’m not perfect, Jiang Cheng. Never was, never will be.”Jiang Cheng pouts. “I strongly disagree.”Another delighted chuckle from Lan Xichen and then he’s graced with a curious stare. Jiang Cheng feels like he could get lost in those pretty doe eyes. In this moment he’s right back to feeling like a teenager again, utterly entranced by someone who is so much older than him. Someone wiser, more experienced and more grounded than him. Jiang Cheng is no spring chicken anymore. He’s 28 years old but he feels like he’s lost at sea where the ups and downs of the waves of life might drown him. And Lan Xichen in comparison seems like the long awaited sight of land. Solid, grounding, safe. All Jiang Cheng wants to do is stick his hands into the comfort of the dry earth, unmoving, and let himself be soothed by the steadiness.“I’m serious though...” Jiang Cheng says sounding more somber. Lan Xichen is still looking at him with gentle interest. It’s both comforting and unnerving at the same time to be so scrutinized by him. “...he’s going to change his mind later and come crawling back on his hands and knees, begging you to take him back when he realizes there’s no one more perfect out there than you.”Lan Xichen is about to say something again, probably to protest against being called perfect, when Jiang Cheng continues.“And when that time comes you had BETTER not take him back!” he demands, looks at Lan Xichen with his most foreboding frown. God, he’s drunk. He hopes he won’t remember this in the morning. “Let someone else, someone more worthy have a chance.”“Oh yeah? Like who?” Lan Xichen asks, his voice mellow, dark and husky. Jiang Cheng wishes he could interpret it properly through this fog of alcohol. But he’s getting more and more lost to the waves. This time he’s drowning in wine.“I-” he interrupts himself. Starts feeling everything spinning. Is that the brush of fingertips to the back of his hand? No. Wait. It’s the breeze. Or is it?“I eh...I don’t know.” Jiang Cheng says, trying to get to his feet.“A-Cheng, are you alright?” Lan Xichen’s worried voice says beside him.“I thing...I think I need to la-lay lie down.”“I think so too. Alright. I’ll take you to your hotel room. Here we go.”Hands, strong and steady hold him as he tries to stand. Successfully this time. Kind of. He’s vaguely aware of that he’s leaning on Lan Xichen, the latter holding him up and directing him back to the party. The noisy inside. Jiang Cheng stops right outside the glass doors leading to the wedding party. He’s thankful for the ugly drapes mounted on the glass doors as they shield them from sight. He turns to Lan Xichen, smiling up at him.‘God, I’m so happy you’re not married.’ Jiang Cheng thinks. At least he thinks that he’s thinking it. He was mumbling something, but he’s not really sure if he said it out loud or not. Or if what he said, if he’d said it made any sense.“You’re so strong.” he says, knows he said that one out loud. And he means it in more ways than one. He reaches a hand up to trace the planes of Lan Xichen’s face with careful fingers, his cheek bone, his jawline, his lips. His eyes linger there for a moment and then without stopping to think too much about it leans in and gives him a soft, gentle kiss.Jiang Cheng wishes he had time to study Lan Xichen’s reaction, but before he knows it his head spins again and his stomach twists and then he’s turning away from Lan Xichen and throwing up into a potted plant.Fuck. That could have gone smoother.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

His vision is blurry before him, his eyes feel sandy and his mouth tastes like something crawled up and died in it. The taste of bile is unbearable. Other than that his body is warm and snug, tucked in under a blanket as he is. He groans, stretching out his limbs and looking around the room. Where is he? The place feels oddly familiar, yet he’s pretty sure he’s never been in this room before. Jiang Cheng sits up and spots a photo on the dresser, it doesn’t make sense. Why is there a photo of Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen in a hotel room? A knock sounds at the door just as he’s having these confused thoughts. The door opens and Lan Xichen peeks in.“Jiang Cheng?”Jiang Cheng scrambles to cover himself with the blanket out of reflex only to realize he’s actually fully dressed.“How are you feeling?” Lan Xichen asks as he comes into the room holding a glass of water and standing in all his glory, hovering over him. He holds out the glass for Jiang Cheng who takes it and swallows the contents in big gulps. He needs to brush his teeth, bad.“Terrible. Where am I?” he asks, his voice is raspy, as if he’s been belting rock songs at karaoke all night.“You’re in my room. In The Cloud Recesses.”He must be making a confused expression because Lan Xichen chuckles at him.“There was a mix up with the rooms at the hotel. I brought you here because you seemed to need to sleep off the alcohol.”That makes sense why this room doesn’t really look like a hotel room. Because it’s not. It’s all coming together now. His slow brain is finally catching up. All the moving pieces inside his mind seeming to lock in and remember the events of last night; the alcohol, the drunken ramblings. The kiss. He feels his cheeks heat up. Shit. Did he kiss Lan Xichen last night?! And then immediately after throw up?? The gods were not on his side. Mortification overtakes his entire body, cell by cell. He had assaulted an innocent Lan Xichen with his lips and then became apparently so incoherent he had to be hauled off to bed. He doesn’t remember the car ride over. He doesn’t remember anything after throwing up. But Lan Xichen must have carried him, arm over one shoulder all the way over here. Jiang Cheng groans and puts his head in his hands in shame.“I’m sorry” he whines, wishes to the stars above he hadn’t let Lan Xichen see this side of him. Drunk Jiang Cheng is a rare thing. And now he’s painstakingly recalling all the embarrassing things he’d said and done.“Don’t be. It happens to the best of us.” Lan Xichen says, ever the picture of perfect patience and understanding.“Really? Has it happened to you?” Jiang Cheng asks curiously.“Um..” Lan Xichen’s face says it all, of course he hasn’t been plastered the way Jiang Cheng was last night. Upstanding, virtuous and perfect Lan Xichen would never.“Last night I hadn’t had anything to drink. But I think that was fortunate because it enabled me to drive you here.” He says, always seeing the bright side of everything.“But you shouldn’t have had to!” Jiang Cheng exclaims. Lowers his voice because his head is pounding and loud sounds are not working for him right now. Lan Xichen puts a hand on his shoulder, still standing there above him, looking every bit as gorgeous as he’s always been.“I don’t mind, really.”Jiang Cheng’s heart does some kind of somersault inside his chest. He tries his best to ignore it.“If this is your room, then where did you sleep last night?” He asks, to distract from all of the mortification currently coursing through his body.“My brother’s room.” Lan Xichen laughs. “See? There’s no need to worry, Jiang Cheng. You didn’t leave me sleeping on the floor, neither did you become a burden. In fact, by the time you became...ill I was ready to go home anyway. In a way I think you did me a favor.”Jiang Cheng is stunned by Lan Xichen’s overwhelming goodness for a moment. And then he rolls his eyes. Lan Xichen laughs. He doesn’t think he’s ever rolled his eyes at Lan Xichen before. When he was young he respected him too much. But now, this time, it feels right. Not disrespectful. Obviously Lan Xichen agrees.“I know you’re just trying to make me feel better about...puking all over you or whatever it was I did last night..” Jiang Cheng lies. He knows he shouldn’t hide it, but he’s not ready to confess to remembering the kiss. He’s not ready for the kind of awkwardness that would bring.Surprise overtakes Lan Xichen’s face.“You don’t-...eh. How much do you remember of last night?” he asks, sitting down on the bed for a moment. Jiang Cheng hopes he doesn’t see his neck flushing red.“I remember talking at the pavilion. And then it’s kind of blank.”“Oh.”Is that disappointment on Lan Xichen’s face? His brows are knitted. It makes Jiang Cheng want to smooth out the wrinkle between his eyes with a finger, he’s vaguely aware of that he’s had that thought before. Their eyes meet. Lan Xichen’s eyes are the same dark brown doe eyes, framed with long, pretty lashes that Jiang Cheng remembers. Eyes to drown in. He tries his hardest but he can’t help but look down at his lips for a second. And then a second longer. Then he sees Lan Xichen take a breath, his lips parting.“Well, at least you didn’t puke all over me.” He jokes and rises off the bed. He holds out a hand to Jiang Cheng and hauls him to his feet. His hand is warm. Just like his smiles.Lan Xichen gives him a toothbrush, a fresh set of clothes and while Jiang Cheng is making himself clean and presentable Lan Xichen is cooking pancakes in the kitchen.“Dear lord that smells good.” Jiang Cheng groans as he comes out fully dressed in borrowed clothes, drying his hair with a towel.“Do you like pancakes?”“Who doesn’t?” Jiang Cheng smiles, his mouth is practically salivating.“My ex didn’t.” Lan Xichen says, a bit muted. Like a memory he doesn’t want to revisit but can’t help himself.“We’ve established that he’s an idiot, though, haven’t we?” Jiang Cheng says firmly. For some reason it makes Lan Xichen laugh, loud and joyous. The sound makes Jiang Cheng’s heart swell.“So that you remember, huh?” he notes, shooting Jiang Cheng a sly eye.Jiang Cheng tries not to blush. The memory of the kiss coming back to the forefront of his mind again. How many more times was it going to torture him?“Mm. Yeah.” Jiang Cheng nods “That far along I remember.” And then he comes to a decision.
“I meant it. All of it.” he confesses. He doesn’t just mean about Jin Guangyao being an idiot. He means everything he said last night. How he basically listed the reasons Lan Xichen is desirable. Lan Xichen seems to understand.“Good to know.”Jiang Cheng doesn’t know what that means. But he decides not to let his mind linger on it while he eats Lan Xichen’s delicious food. There’s orange juice and tea on the table. Lan Xichen forces him to drink a glass and a cup of each, stating that he needs the vitamins in the orange juice and the antioxidants in the tea to set him right. Jiang Cheng doesn’t think he’s ever been so well cared for.They make pleasant small talk over breakfast. Jiang Cheng asks how the rest of the party went and Lan Xichen promises that he didn’t miss anything. There was just some dancing and then one by one everyone started heading for their rooms, according to Nie Huaisang’s texts.“Wait. How do you have Huaisang’s number?”“I met him at the party. He wanted me to keep him updated on you.”He did? Jiang Cheng smiles to himself. Nie Huaisang was always gentle and caring, even in the past when Jiang Cheng was too stubborn to accept his kindness.“Hm. It doesn’t sound fair that he has your number and I don’t.” Jiang Cheng says, surprising himself, more than Lan Xichen who was obviously very stunned by Jiang Cheng’s request. His doe eyes going wide and his lips falling apart.“You know, with you having taken care of me so well and all. I feel like I owe you.”“You don’t.”“Still, I’d like to repay you. Somehow. I mean, if that’s okay?”“Of course it is.” Lan Xichen reassures.He doesn’t know where he gets this new bravery from. All he knows is that Lan Xichen is single and Jiang Cheng wants to spend his days in his comforting presence. For as many days as he can until the next inevitable heartbreak. Lan Xichen is the only person to ever have caused him one, and maybe he should stay away. But all he wants to do is dive headfirst into it, hoping that the waves of his affection for the man will not drown him again.“Gimme” he says, holding out his hand for Lan Xichen’s phone. And Lan Xichen gives it to him with a charmed smile. * * * They drive down narrow roads from the Lan family home at The Cloud Recesses to the hotel where Jiang Cheng was supposed to stay last night. Lan Xichen is gorgeous where he’s seated, driving with an arm leaned casually over the open window of the car, the wind ruffling his hair. The sunglasses he’s wearing makes him look like a movie star and he’s humming along to a song on the radio. He looks happy. Jiang Cheng smiles, enjoying the moment. He hadn’t returned to The Cloud Recesses in 10 years, he’s almost forgotten how beautiful it is. The wind is mild, the day hot for a spring day and all the flowers on the trees lining the street are in bloom. Like a parade of white and pink. Jiang Cheng finds himself smiling easy smiles and mumbling along to the song on the radio along with Lan Xichen.When he arrives at the hotel however his easy smiles slide off his face when he speaks to the receptionist.“What do you mean there are no more rooms?!”“I’m sorry, sir. I’ve checked and double checked the booking. There’s no more reservations under the name Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng. All the rooms that were booked by Wei Wuxian are taken. All the guests have already checked in.”“Excuse me.” Lan Xichen cut in “When I spoke to your colleague last night I was under the impression that the mix-up was only regarding one night. Not for the entire week.”“I apologize for the confusion. But we are fully booked the entire week.”Jiang Cheng stands there fuming for a few moments, Lan Xichen looking worried by his side, chewing his bottom lip as if he’s in deep thought.“Which room is Wei Wuxian at?” Jiang Cheng asks the receptionist, feeling his anger at his brother rise up like hot lava. This is just so typical of him, this is so typical of Wei Wuxian – leaving him high and dry and without a room. What is he supposed to do now?The receptionist looks at him with a guilty expression.
“I’m sorry, sir. We are not allowed to disclose-”“It’s okay. He’s my brother.”“Still...I-”“A-Cheng” Lan Xichen’s voice, dark and temperate calls to him, grounds him a little. He takes Jiang Cheng by the elbow leading him away from the reception for a private word. “He’s probably in the bridal suite.”“Oh.” Jiang Cheng feels stupid. Of course he’d be in the bridal suite. He stalks off in the direction of the stairs, foregoing the elevator. In moments like these when he’s fired up, he has to move. Doesn’t want to feel trapped by the stillness of an elevator.“A-Cheng!” Lan Xichen calls to him, following him up the stairs. “A-Cheng, where are you going?”Jiang Cheng spares him a glance over his shoulder as he takes the final steps to the third floor where the bridal suite is located.“To have a word with Wei Wuxian of course.”He stalks down the corridor, determined to give his brother a piece of his mind. What’s he supposed to do now? Go back to Yunmeng and miss all of the week-long wedding celebrations? Or stay and sleep on the streets? Or in his car? For A WEEK?? All the other hotels will be booked to capacity in this small town. Just when he reaches the door and is about to knock, Lan Xichen takes a hold of his wrist. His grip is firm, his hand warm. Jiang Cheng’s skin is buzzing.“Don’t.”Their eyes meet. Jiang Cheng’s lips open in surprise, but he’s unable to breathe.
“What...”“Please, A-Cheng. Do not disturb them at this moment. It’s their honeymoon.”Jiang Cheng finally takes a breath.
“Yes? And?” he says, feeling confused, and still a little breathless.“And they are probably doing...what honeymooners do.” Lan Xichen says with a meaningful stare, his eyes boring into Jiang Cheng, willing him to understand.When it dawns on him, Jiang Cheng’s face heats up. Not with rage this time, only embarrassment. He does not want to walk in on his brother and Lan Wangji doing that. As if on cue there’s a muffled moan coming from inside the room. Jiang Cheng is sure his face is turning scarlet. He feels Lan Xichen’s hold on his wrist, still firm and hot between them. At hearing that sound he lets go with a gradual ease until his wrist is entirely free and his hand is hanging uselessly at his side. Another moan startles Jiang Cheng into action and he starts walking down the corridor, now heading for the elevator.“Ugh” He closes his eyes, trying to shake the memory of the sounds out of his head. He’s eternally grateful to Lan Xichen for stopping him from possibly seeing the cause of the moans in action. Lan Xichen keeps staring at him as they walk into the elevator. Is there a redness to his cheeks too? Or is Jiang Cheng imagining it? Either way it was probably embarrassing for him to hear those sounds as well. Super embarrassing, and gross. Jiang Cheng wishes to never be exposed to it again.
But now there’s still the question of where the hell he’s going to stay. Now that he can’t talk to Wei Wuxian about it he feels even more doomed than before.“What am I going to do? Sleep in my car all week? Maybe I can look at the next town over, see if they have a bed and breakfast there?” Jiang Cheng thinks out loud. The elevator doors close.“Stay with me.”His gaze snaps to Lan Xichen again. Is Jiang Cheng’s face just never going to stop being red whenever they’re together?“What?”“The solution is pretty simple. You need a place to stay, I have en entire house at my disposal.”Jiang Cheng just stares at him.“You can take my room, or Wangji’s old room if you’re more comfortable with that. Or I can remove some of uncle’s things and turn it into a guestroom, if you want?”“I-I...I don’t want to impose...”Lan Xichen smiles, soft. “You wouldn’t be. It would be no trouble at all. In fact, it might be nice to have you around all week.”Now Jiang Cheng is pretty sure he’s blushing, visibly.“I mean. Yeah.” he doesn’t know what to say. He’s sure he looks like an idiot standing there beside him in the small space of the elevator, just staring at him. Trying and failing not to remember the kiss. “We could catch up. And stuff. I guess.”Jiang Cheng has never been good at words. So he’s not surprised he sounds like a fool, with how taken aback he is by Lan Xichen’s suggestion. And how taken he is with Lan Xichen in general. He really did fall right back to where he was 10 years ago, emotionally speaking. In awe. Comfortable but excited. And longing, oh so longing. And now he gets to spend an entire week with him. Jiang Cheng’s heart is soaring. He holds back a smile.“Right? Catching up. And I could show you a fair bit more of The Cloud Recesses. I’m sure you were too occupied with your studies when you were younger to go hiking. Or if you don’t like hiking there are a fair amount of new restaurants in town. And coffee shops.”Judging by the expression on his face Lan Xichen looks...pleased?“I like hiking!” Jiang Cheng replies, fast and maybe a little too excited. “And restaurants” he adds, “and coffee.”Lan Xichen laughs as they exit the hotel.
“Well, good! Then it’s settled. You’re coming home with me.” he says, sounds almost possessive about it. Jiang Cheng kind of likes it. Almost expects him to take him firmly by the wrist again, but he doesn’t. He just leads the way back to his car.*

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

While heading back to his own car where he’d left his suitcase full of clothes and necessities for the week ahead, Jiang Cheng tries his hardest to ignore the little excited heartbeat that seems to be taking extra tango lessons inside his chest. This is completely platonic, he reminds himself. They are friends going to live together...alone...in Lan Xichen’s gorgeous house with an enchanting view and spending the entire week together...alone. Well, okay not exactly entirely alone. As part of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s wedding celebrations they have prepared a number of activities that they will all be participating in. But Jiang Cheng will be seeing Lan Xichen in the evenings and in the mornings and for those moments they will be alone. Jiang Cheng tries his hardest not to get too excited about it.They take the drive over back to The Cloud Recesses to deposit Jiang Cheng’s things into Lan Xichen’s house. To Jiang Cheng’s surprise (and many pleadings for him not to exert himself) Lan Xichen starts boxing up some stuff in his uncle’s old room and brings fresh bedding, opens a window and brings in a humidifier and a couple of houseplants, to Jiang Cheng’s horror and embarrassment.“You didn’t have to do all of that!” he whines, while Lan Xichen only chuckles at his discomfort.“I wanted to.” Lan Xichen says, easy as day.“It’s too much. The closet space I appreciate, but the humidifier? And the plants?”“No one has lived in that room for years, it’s very stuffy in there. I don’t want you to suffer stale air. And the plants also bring some needed life to the room.”Jiang Cheng grumbles. “Still, ‘twas too much...”Lan Xichen chuckles at him. “You really don’t like people doing a lot for you, huh?”That’s true. Jiang Cheng has always felt burdened by excessive care. It strikes a chord in him that he doesn’t know how to feel about. Like something that is pleasant, but makes him feel slightly off kilter.“Not really.” he replies and Lan Xichen laughs at him again. He doesn’t judge him for it though. Just seems generally amused by his recalcitrant ways.“You better get used to it because I will be taking care of you all week.” Lan Xichen teases. Jiang Cheng almost chokes on his spit. A Mr. Lan Xichen who teases him is too much to handle.“As long as you’re not being excessive.” Jiang Cheng concedes, as to not offend him by protesting further.You’d think being the vice president of an entire company would make Jiang Cheng spoiled and showered with attention. That is what people expect of him. But Jiang Cheng has always been more of a hands-on type of person, and he likes to have a certain amount of control over his surroundings. If he can’t do even the simplest things for himself, he reasons, then what’s the point of anything? He supposes this way of thinking has led him to resist service and simple acts of kindness in some ways. He briefly wonders if this is a character flaw he should work on.It looks nice, the room. It doesn’t feel like his old principal’s room. There’s something about how Lan Xichen rearranged it. With the plants and the humidifier it actually feels like it could be Jiang Cheng’s room. He banishes the thought from his mind. He’s just there for a week. A week and then he has to go back to Yunmeng to continue his duties at work. And Lan Xichen… well, he supposes he’s not going to see as much of him anymore. It puts a sour taste in Jiang Cheng’s mouth just thinking about. He resolves that even if they can’t spend every day together that they’ll not lose touch, like last time.“Thank you.” he says and means it. Lan Xichen’s eyes light up, crinkle at the corners as he smiles. Jiang Cheng is certainly doomed. * * * When they come back to the hotel again, Jiang Cheng is not as angry at Wei Wuxian as he had been previously. And seeing him come down to the lobby being disgustingly happy holding Lan Wangji’s hand forces the last residual anger out of his system. Wei Wuxian is leaning into Lan Wangji, smiling up at him blissfully whispering something in his ear that makes Lan Wangji blush. When he tells Wei Wuxian about the mix up at the hotel he doesn’t let Wei Wuxian feel bad about it.“Stop giving me your puppy eyes, I told you already, it worked out. I’m staying at Lan Xichen’s house for the week and that’s that.”Wei Wuxian is somehow still giving Jiang Cheng the puppy eyes. They both look over to where the Lan brothers are greeting some aunts and uncles at the hotel lobby, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian standing over a few paces away by the elevators for a private word.“Are you sure you want to? Considering…I mean...” Wei Wuxian drifts off, clearly doesn’t know how to phrase it. “Considering how you feel about him? Is it not going to be too painful?”“Felt about him.” Jiang Cheng corrects him firmly. “As in past tense. I’m fine now.” Jiang Cheng may be experiencing some residual palpitations or whatever, but he is sure he will be fine. He’s convinced. It’s been 10 years after all. He couldn’t just rush back into romantic feelings for the same man after 10 years of not having any romantic feelings at all! That’s absurd. Jiang Cheng just likes him as a person. He wants to be his friend. And yes, he may be feeling a little bit...fluttery around him, but he is SURE that is only due to past memories. Yeah, that’s it. Past memories making themselves known again. It’s not romance. It’s not. Soft lips, a hot breath against his and a soft press of lips run through his memories. Jiang Cheng shakes it out of his mind. That was just him being drunk and stupid. That wasn’t romance either, he’s sure.“Alright.” Wei Wuxian says reluctantly. “If you really think you can handle it.”Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at Wei Wuxian. “Of course I can handle it. I’m not a baby.”“But you are!” Wei Wuxian exclaims happily “You’re mine and jiejie’s baby, isn’t that right?” he says, patting Jiang Cheng on the head like a small child. Jiang Cheng glares at him.“That’s right, A-Cheng will always be our little baby.” his sister says, coming down from the elevators with a sulky son in tow. Jin Ling barely manages to greet his uncles before he goes back to his mobile game. Ugh, teenagers. Was Jiang Cheng like this when he was a teen? He’s sure he had more sense to greet elders properly at least. But the sight of his sister’s kind face makes him hold back any zingers about Jin Ling or Wei Wuxian always acting like he’s the youngest. Over by the entrance Lan Xichen seems to be laughing at him. Well, okay. Laughing is probably an overstatement, but he for sure looks amused by the scene between the siblings.“Hey you!” he turns to Jin Ling to distract from the attention. “Is that how you greet your elders? Tear your eyes away from that phone for a single second, will you?”“I would if only my elders were more interesting than the game on my phone.” Jin Ling replies without looking up. Jiang Cheng feels a vein pop in his forehead.“Do you want to maintain use of both of those hands to keep playing that stupid game or-”“Jin Ling. I have told you to put that thing away repeatedly.” Jiang Yanli admonishes, but she sounds far too gentle about it if you ask Jiang Cheng.“Come on Jin Ling!” Wei Wuxian throws an arm over his nephew’s shoulders “I have something super fun and engaging planned for us today. You’ll love it for sure.”“I seriously doubt that.” The teenager mumbles.“Either way, you’re going to have to relinquish the device and pay attention to where you’re going.”All three family members look at Wei Wuxian in surprise.“What does that mean?” Jiang Cheng wonders.“You’ll see.” Wei Wuxian smiles secretively. “Hey, where’s the peacock?” he asks Yanli.Their sister only gives him an admonishing stare, too kind to really be deterring Wei Wuxian from being disrespectful, Jiang Cheng thinks.“A-Xian. What have I told you about calling my husband that?”Wei Wuxian only laughs sheepishly. “Sorry, jiejie. I know it’s been 15 years since you married that peacock, but I still can’t get over it. Old habits die hard.”“You’ll die hard by my hand if you don’t stop referring to brother in law like that.” Jiang Cheng says just as the doors to the elevator open and a sleepy looking Jin Zixuan steps out, greeting everyone kindly. Seeing as he is their sister’s husband and Jin Ling’s father, even if Jiang Cheng personally doesn’t care for him much, he still feels like a level of respect and politeness needs to be upheld between them. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng feel much the same way about the man, they just have different ways of approaching his presence in their and their beloved sister’s life.*After some last minute re-arranging the pairs, Wei Wuxian announces the rules of the game, and how it’s played. Lastly he pairs everyone up. It’s set up so that friends and the two sides of the family are mixed together as much as possible.“Okay so for this game we’re throwing you all out into the surrounding forest.” Wei Wuxian exclaims happily. Lan Wangji is silent beside him.Say what?“You have each been given a map of the area, and an answer sheet. To be able to answer the questions you have to find them first. The ones who answer the most questions correctly and are the quickest about it win.”“What do we win?” Jin Zixuan asks, ever the competitor.“Ah, I see someone already has their eyes on the prize.” Wei Wuxian jokes. “The prize will be announced later.”Nie Huaisang sighs at Jiang Cheng’s side. “Running around in the forest?” he whispers so no one else will hear. “That is not my brand.”“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think most people here are into that.” Jiang Cheng answers.“I don’t know. I hear Lan Xichen is pretty outdoorsy. And you’re good at running. You obviously have an advantage.”“I promise you, I am not up for running in the scorching heat today.” Jiang Cheng assures him. “I thought the activities would be more like playing board games and lounging about at the pool. Typical of Wei Wuxian to make me work hard on my days off.”Nie Huaisang agrees.Their conversation is interrupted while Wei Wuxian is announcing the teams of two and Nie Huaisang is paired up with Jin Ling. Good luck getting that one to do anything, Huaisang, Jiang Cheng thinks. He counts off various aunts and uncles from both sides of the family, Jiang Cheng has not been paying enough attention, so when he realizes there’s only two people left to be paired up, he doesn’t immediately register that he’s one of them.“Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen will form a pair.” Wei Wuxian announces, still with that same happy smile on his face. He shares a meaningful stare with his husband, who stands mute before them but looks just the slightest bit pleased.
What?
Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen’s eyes meet across the room. Lan Xichen smiles at him and Jiang Cheng tries to ignore his heart starting up faster once more. It’s been doing that a lot lately, and he’s not fond of the implication. They’re friends. Platonic friends. Jiang Cheng is totally cool about it.“Guess you’re stuck with me for the day.” Lan Xichen says as he’s suddenly standing before him.“I could have done worse.” Jiang Cheng shrugs. Lan Xichen looks at him curiously.“Is that right?”“I could have been stuck with Jin Ling and his phone.” Jiang Cheng says and Lan Xichen laughs at him, a pretty dark chuckle. “And then I would have had to do every single one of these questions by myself.”“Poor Huaisang” Lan Xichen comments as they start walking towards the first destination. Nothing hurried about their pace. It’s languid and easy walking side by side. Jiang Cheng is definitely not in a hurry for this to end. “But don’t you think Huaisang will whip him into action?”“When has Huaisang ever?” Jiang Cheng counters, but smiles. “If he’s lucky Jin Ling’s competitive side will kick in. And then Huaisang will still suffer because he’ll be dragged all over the mountain by an overzealous kid. I still hope they have fun though.”Lan Xichen looks fondly over at Jiang Cheng as they reach the first stop with questions. “You really love them, don’t you?” he says, before they can read the first question.Jiang Cheng feels confused. “Of course I love them, they’re my best friend and my nephew.”“Yes. Of course.” Lan Xichen says. He looks an awful lot to Jiang Cheng like he’s just realized this little fact about him. Jiang Cheng may not throw grand gestures and professions of love around, but he knows his people and he loves and values them in his own quiet way.The first question is about how Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian met. There are three alternatives to choose from and Jiang Cheng having been there to witness it naturally has the upper hand with this question. He thinks Huaisang will do well too. And his sister. The Wen siblings and maybe even Jin Zixuan may ace this depending on how closely he’s paid attention to Yanli when she’s spoken about Wei Wuxian’s love affairs.They solve a few of the questions with comfortable silence between them. But after about the fifth question, and no other contestants in sight Jiang Cheng can’t help but voice all of the questions he has about Lan Xichen instead.“Do you mind if I ask you how things went when you moved to London? What was it like?”Lan Xichen’s face is for once not full of smiles. He looks thoughtful, and maybe Jiang Cheng shouldn’t be asking but his curiosity is getting the better of him.“It was...different.” he says, seems to settle on the last word as if there is another word he really wants to say, but can’t. A moment goes by. They walk slowly.“That’s it? Just different?” Jiang Cheng asks.Lan Xichen takes a deep breath. “In the beginning it was really fun. Everything was new and exciting. I didn’t much mind that Guangyao had a job and I didn’t. When I wasn’t looking for employment I could do touristy things like taking pictures of Big Ben, eat fish n’ chips at pubs and visit museums and such.”“But...” Jiang Cheng felt the inevitable word coming on by the tone of Lan Xichen’s words. The expression on his face.“But then after a while the novelty wore off. I felt lonely having to do those thing alone while Guangyao was working. So I put more effort into finding a job, so we could do those things together on our days off.”“Right.” Jiang Cheng says, tries not to feel bile rise at the very mention of Jin Guangyao’s name.“And I did find a job as the head of the foreign language department at a secondary school. It was nice. It was a good job and I liked it. I liked my colleagues. But...” Lan Xichen hesitates. Jiang Cheng contemplates if maybe he’d asked the wrong question after all. Maybe this was too difficult a subject for Lan Xichen to talk about.“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to-”“No, that’s alright.” Lan Xichen says, touches a hand to Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. His hand is warm. His grip firm but gentle.“I just don’t know exactly how to phrase it” He continues. “I didn’t feel completely happy there. I don’t know what it was that made me feel that way exactly, or why. After a couple of years I really started to miss home. I wondered how Wangji was doing without me. Was uncle taking his medication? Was anyone reminding him of that? Anyway, I spent another three years becoming more and more miserable with where I was. And I felt awful about it because I loved Guangyao so much. And he was so happy there. If I asked him to move back to China with me, wouldn’t that be selfish?”Jiang Cheng stops in his tracks, puts a tentative hand on Lan Xichen’s arm, close to his wrist. “For the record, I don’t think it would have been selfish of you to ask him that. He asked you to move across the world after all.”Lan Xichen nods. “Thank you.” He looks relieved, also a little bit astounded.“So you stayed for 5 years?”“Yes. And I hadn’t been quite happy for any great amount of that time. The only thing I had been happy about was to be with him. But for me, where I wanted to be and where my aspirations lay, everything was leading me back home.”Jiang Cheng nods in understanding.“The thing is, before I’d even told him about how I felt he said that he was starting to have feelings for someone else.”Jiang Cheng hissed, his eyes went wide and felt rage flare up inside his veins.“That bastar-”“No, no. It’s okay.” Lan Xichen says, Jiang Cheng is sure he would not have been as forgiving if it would have been him.“It is NOT okay!” Jiang Cheng grits out between clenched teeth.“No really. I’m glad he told me before anything had happened between them. It’s not like he cheated on me. He told me about his feelings in advance. He said it felt like I had been very distant lately, emotionally speaking. And I told him in turn about how I miss home and I want to go back.” He sighs. “It ended amicably.”Jiang Cheng still feels like there’s something wrong about that. How could anyone even look at someone other than Lan Xichen? Let alone develop feelings for them. He had another urge to put his fist right into Jin Guangyao’s face, it was lucky he wasn’t anywhere near them right now. He had better stay on the other side of the world, if he knows what’s good for him.“So he just let you go!?” Jiang Cheng exclaims, “Just like that?? He didn’t fight for you or anything?”Lan Xichen shrugs. “There was nothing to fight for.”“I’m sorry but I’m going to have to say it again. What a fucking IDIOT!” Jiang Cheng’s voice carries through the forest, winding between the trees and the bushes. In the distance he hears Jin Ling shout “What?!” back at him. Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng can’t hold back their laughter.“At some point you are going to have to stop calling my ex-boyfriend an idiot.” Lan Xichen chides, but it’s not serious and he’s smiling again. That’s all Jiang Cheng wants.“Never.” Jiang Cheng crosses his arms over his chest, to which Lan Xichen laughs again.*After they have completed the trek with the romantic questions about Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s relationship they reconvene at the hotel again. Huaisang is looking sweaty and exhausted next to a Jin Ling who looks a bit on edge, like he can’t wait for the result of the competition to be announced. Most everyone is looking worse for wear. Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen are the only ones who took their time, and Jiang Cheng guesses the winner won’t be them seeing as they finished quite late, even if they had more correct answers than most. Jin Zixuan is looking agitated next to them complaining to the newlyweds that Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen being paired up is unfair seeing as they know Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji best. Wei Wuxian happily ignores him, most likely for Yanli’s sake and Lan Wangji just gives him an unimpressed stare. Funnily enough that does the trick to shut down any more objections.The winner is announced at the hotel lobby. Huaisang and Jin Ling win a bottle of wine, which Jin Ling can’t drink because he’s a minor. Huaisang laughs evilly beside him as he collects his prize. Jin Ling mutters what is probably curses beside him and openly complains to his uncles that he should get something too. Lan Wangji manages to scrounge up a chocolate bunny from out of nowhere and Jin Ling is momentarily appeased after having looked at the prize in confusion for a solid 5 minutes.Afterwards everyone is invited to the pool area for some food and drinks. The day is sweltering, Jiang Cheng seeks refuge from the sun behind a parasol, closely followed by Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen who sits beside him. After tending to their other guests Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian join them, taking refreshing iced drinks by the poolside and making pleasant small talk. When seeing the group of them together the Wen siblings also join in, and Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan join in as well. They push a few tables together, gathering around the newlyweds. Jin Ling seems to be bored with the adults and favors the pool. After a few moments of this another teenage boy, someone far more demure and polite than Jin Ling approaches the Wen siblings.“Ah, there you are Wen Yuan! My favorite protégé!” Wei Wuxian exclaims. Hugs him by the waist as he stands beside him.“Uncle. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it until now. I had summer school.”Wei Wuxian looks appalled. “My poor A-Yuan. What monster forces a bright young mind like this to go to summer school?” He hugs Wen Yuan tighter.“The monster is sitting right across from you.” Wen Qing says gravely. Wei Wuxian chuckles.“And this bright young mind needs to go to summer school if he wants better grades in math. He does need to be perfect if he wants to apply for med school one day.” She explains.Wei Wuxian gasps. “Med school?!”“I want to follow in aunties’ footsteps.” Wen Yuan declares.“How studious.” Wei Wuxian remarks.“Very ambitious.” Lan Wangji agrees.“You hear that Jin Ling?!” Wei Wuxian shouts to the teenager in the pool “A-Yuan wants to go to med school! You better keep those grades up or we’re sending you to summer school for an entirely different reason.”Over at the pool Jiang Cheng hears Jin Ling sputter. Not knowing how to answer that without being impertinent in front of his parents.“A-Xian!” Jiang Yanli laughs, scandalized, but happy. “Don’t tease him like that.”“I’m sorry jiejie, I can’t help it.”If there’s one thing Jiang Cheng knows it’s that Wei Wuxian really can’t help himself.Wen Yuan looks over to Jin Ling and waves a little. Probably happy to spot someone else his age at this gathering of dinosaurs. Jin Ling however doesn’t acknowledge him, just turns his back defiantly. It takes him a moment but Wen Yuan walks over to the pool, sitting by the poolside and dipping his legs into the water carefully. The two couldn’t be more different, with how Jin Ling had jumped in head first into the water. As he sits there Jiang Cheng watches how Wen Yuan coaxes Jin Ling closer and closer until they are talking and laughing about something.“It’s nice to see Jin Ling make a friend.” he comments to Lan Xichen, and when he looks over at the older man, he’s already looking at him. A serene smile on his face, a streak of red across his nose. Had Lan Xichen already been looking at him? He’s momentarily taken aback by the thought.“What?” Lan Xichen asks. The murmur of the crowd fades as they make eye contact.“I said it’s nice to see my nephew make a friend.”Wow. So, Lan Xichen really hadn’t been listening to what he was saying? That’s a first.“Oh” he seems to catch himself, clearing his throat and looking off to see the two teens splash each other with water. “Yeah. Yes. That’s really nice.”Jiang Cheng feels Lan Xichen’s eyes on him and he suppresses the urge to blush again. They join in on the joking around and enjoy the altogether pleasant vibe. But after a while the heat becomes overbearing and Jiang Cheng feels the need to head for a cooler spot. Lan Xichen follows him inside the hotel lobby where he’s enjoying the AC.“Want to take a breather back home?” Lan Xichen asks. Back home. Like it’s also Jiang Cheng’s home now. Which he guesses it is. For the week at least.“A shower and a nap would be nice.” Jiang Cheng admits. Lan Xichen agrees and they go back to The Cloud Recesses, bidding the party farewell for now with promises to return later in the evening for dinner. Back home Jiang Cheng is taking a rest on the living room couch, even though he has a perfectly working bed and a whole room to relax in. For some reason he wants to be within eyesight of Lan Xichen and Lan Xichen is himself too good of a host to hole himself up in his room alone. They turn on a movie to relax to. Jiang Cheng is almost dozing off when suddenly it occurs to him:“I always knew you were too good for him.” He mumbles, drowsily.They both know who Jiang Cheng is talking about.“How could you know that? You didn’t know Guangyao very well.” Lan Xichen asks. Jiang Cheng can’t see him, his eyelids are too heavy, but he sounds amused and curious.“I have good instincts.” Jiang Cheng says haughtily. Lan Xichen chuckles. Jiang Cheng falls asleep to the sound.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next day they’re all chilling at the pool. Jiang Cheng thanks whatever deity is looking out for him that Wei Wuxian has at least one low key day planned. Most of the guests, which consists of their parents, some stray Lan relatives that hadn’t gone home after the wedding and most of their friends, have taken up station by the hotel pool.Jiang Cheng’s mom is fussing his dad about covering her back with sunscreen properly. Lan Qiren is talking about retirement plans with Jin Zixuan’s dad. Jin Ling and Wen Yuan seem to have hit it off and are playing some mobile game underneath a parasol. Wen Qing and his own sister Yanli are trading war stories on how to raise teenage boys. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are mimicking Jiang Cheng’s parents what with Wei Wuxian taking his time to cover Lan Wangji’s skin in sunscreen.The mood is relaxed and Jiang Cheng feels like he can finally take these vacation days to just enjoy himself. Not that he hadn’t enjoyed himself before. He’s been more than happy to be around Lan Xichen. His easy presence, his easier smiles. Besides, he’s not hard to look at either. He’s currently hidden away somewhere, gone to change out of his clothes into something more pool appropriate.Nie Huaisang and Wen Ning are spread out on sun loungers opposite Jiang Cheng, trying to stay away from the direct rays of the sun. Jiang Cheng doesn’t bother to seek the shade, he likes the sun, happy to be tanned and feel it’s pleasant heat. Nie Huaisang and Wen Ning speak quietly about this and that, adding to the murmur of conversations all around him, clinking their colorful chilled drinks together before taking dainty sips though straws.He’s not prepared for when Lan Xichen comes back, shirtless and shining like a golden-skinned god under the hot mid-day sun. Jiang Cheng stops breathing for a moment. He’s in swimming trunks, as are most other men around here. Jiang Cheng has seen other men in swimming trunks before. He’s even seen other men naked before. In changing rooms, in movies. Even in gay porn that he tried to watch while questioning his sexuality in his teens. Spoiler alert, it didn’t do anything for him. It wasn’t good or bad, it was just meh. He didn’t see the point of it all. The men’s nudity didn’t stir some part of him hitherto dormant or whatnot. He’d tried the same with straight porn, just to be sure. But he had had the same reaction. Nothing. So, he’s seen men in various states of dress and undress. Hell, Nie Huaisang and Wen Ning are dressed much in the same way as Lan Xichen is right now, but he doesn’t feel any type of way about their bodies or their nudity. Lan Xichen is different. When he sees Lan Xichen striding towards him with that beautiful sun-kissed smile, those pretty doe eyes and the gorgeous planes of his chest and flat stomach all on display – Jiang Cheng can’t help but feel like he’s been hit by a truck.To make matters worse Lan Xichen sets up shop right next to him, and Jiang Cheng can’t get a word out to greet him, he can’t do anything but stare. Something hits the back of his head.“Ouch!” Jiang Cheng picks up a thin manhua novel from the ground where it landed after hitting Jiang Cheng’s head. He glares at Nie Huaisang.“Hey Jiang Cheng, what do you think about this book?” he asks with a wicked smile on his face. Jiang Cheng wants to throttle him.“I think it’s lucky it’s not a hardcover or someone would be visiting the hospital right about now.”He makes sure there’s no room for interpretation about who exactly was going to end up there with the eye-daggers he throws Huaisang.“Sorry.”Why does he not sound sorry at all?Jiang Cheng takes a couple of steps over to where he’s sitting, drink still in hand and smiling up at Jiang Cheng like he did nothing wrong.“Why did you hit me with this thing, Huaisang?” he whispers so no one else will hear as he hands him back the manhua.“You were staring pretty hard. You jaw was literally dropped. Let’s just say I did you a favor if you want to keep your attraction to Lan Xichen a secret from him. Of course, I’m fully supportive of you just telling him you want him to pound you into next Sunday-”Jiang Cheng quickly turns around, has had enough of Nie Huaisang’s imaginative rambling.Jiang Cheng walks back to his seat, he still doesn’t know if he wants to thank him or scold him, so he keeps his mouth shut and distracts himself with putting on more sunscreen on his shoulders, trying his hardest not to look at Lan Xichen and his hot body as he’s lying there in his sun lounger, oblivious to Jiang Cheng’s struggles.It’s not long until Wei Wuxian is bored however and he declares that whoever wants to join a nice, friendly game of water volley is free to do so. A few of the younger family members take him up on it. Wen Qing, Jin Zixhuan and the teenage boys seem the most excited about it.They form two teams. Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, (no one has the heart to separate the two newlyweds), Jin Zixuan and Wen Yuan and Lan Xichen. The other team consists of Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling, the Wen siblings and Nie Huaisang. Jiang Yanli chooses to sit this one out, happy to be referee instead. The game starts off pretty calmly, with the two teams throwing the volley ball between the net in a friendly manner, everyone getting splashed with water and reaching for the ball and missing with lots of laughter and hilarity. Jiang Cheng is still trying to avoid looking at Lan Xichen, but his momentary glances tell him that Lan Xichen is looking even more beautiful than before with his hair wet and drops of water running down his tanned skin. He tries his best not to get too distracted by it whenever he does glance over at him. He’s their team’s ace after all, besides Wen Qing who is taking this game as seriously as she was about med school.“Jiang Cheng!!” she yells at him when he spent a moment too long glancing over at Lan Xichen “Get the ball, stop getting distracted by the other team! Don’t you realize we can win this!?”If Jiang Cheng wasn’t already sunburned he would have blushed hard. Nie Huaisang snorts to his right and Jiang Cheng looks over his shoulder and gives him a dirty look. When he turns back to face the net again he doesn’t realize the other team has the ball and have already started playing. Jin Zixuan has spiked the ball that shoots right at Jiang Cheng hitting him square in the face. More precisely on his right eye. He feels something sting at his eyebrow and he hears people gasp in shock as his hand comes away streaked in red.“Ow. Fuck!” he exclaims. Lets his notorious temper get the better of him for a moment. But only for one moment. He hasn’t spent hours in therapy to get his temper under control just to ruin it when something unexpected happens. He breathes through it.“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” he hears the voice of his brother-in-law. People rush over to him to check on his face. Wei Wuxian is the fastest to breach the other side and look him over.Everybody keeps fussing about his face for a bit and he feels the crowd around him disperse when Lan Xichen comes up to inspect his wound. He removes Jiang Cheng’s hand from his brow, and tilts his chin up to his face. Jiang Cheng is too distracted by the pain and the shock and all the commotion around him to get embarrassed about being so closely looked at by Lan Xichen in front of his entire family.Next to him Wen Qing looks him over quickly to assess the damage.“Hmm. Okay, he needs a first aid kit.” Wen Qing says, “You’ll be fine Jiang Cheng, but you should get that cut cleaned up and put a piece of medical paper tape on it. Want me to go with you?”“I’ll take A-Cheng to the lobby and help him with the wound.” Lan Xichen interjects before Jiang Cheng or anyone else can say anything.Wen Qing looks surprised, as if she had expected to cut the game short to help a patient but now someone else has offered to do her job for her.“If you’re sure...” she says hesitantly.Lan Xichen nods firmly with a serious “Yes.” That leaves no room for discussion.“Will you be alright, Jiang Cheng?” Wei Wuxian asks.“I’ll be fine. Go on with the game. I’ll be back later.” Jiang Cheng tells him. And without further ado Lan Xichen helps him out of the pool, wraps him in a towel and they head over to the hotel reception to ask for a first aid kit.The staff see his blood-streaked face, made to look even worse because of all the water, and rush them inside one of their private rooms. There’s a bed and some chairs. A first aid kit is quickly handed to Lan Xichen who tells Jiang Cheng to keep pressing on the wound with his towel.He takes out a few things Jiang Cheng doesn’t look at while Jiang Cheng sits up on the bed. Doesn’t want to focus on anything else than what Lan Xichen’s face looks like when he’s serious like this. When Lan Xichen tells him to take his hand off his brow he hums in discontent.“It looks like it hurts. Are you in a lot of pain, A-Cheng?”His voice is dark and he’s quiet as he cleans up the blood on Jiang Cheng’s face. It stings and Jiang Cheng hisses at the alcohol sterilizing the open wound.“Not that much. It’s just that the alcohol stings.” He says, feels Lan Xichen’s hands work gentler on him.His face is so close. Jiang Cheng is sitting on the bed, legs danging down, almost touching the floor. Lan Xichen is standing between his parted legs. Jiang Cheng tries not to think about that too much. But without anything else that his eyes can focus on, all he can do is look up at Lan Xichen’s face. Considering he’s 10 years older he thinks maybe standing this close he could spot a flaw in him. An over-sized pore, some skin damage. He hates having thought it, because he knows that even if he’d find something like that on Lan Xichen’s face, he’d still find it beautiful. Jiang Cheng has noticed the laugh lines around his eyes, and he doesn’t find them abhorrent or anything. In fact, he likes them just as much as he likes Lan Xichen’s small mouth, his straight nose or the serious lines of his brows.“There.”Lan Xichen’s voice brings him out of his reverie. He takes a deep breath.“Thank you.”“How do you feel, A-Cheng?” he asks, sounding serious.Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to answer that. Confused? Flustered? Amazed? Scared? Excited? There’s a lot going on here.“I’m fine.” He says instead. He doesn’t know what else to say that’s not going to come out confusing Lan Xichen.“Are you sure? You’ve seemed a bit...off today?”Shit. Lan Xichen noticed? Jiang Cheng wants to run away, but he’s trapped, Lan Xichen’s body is literally blocking him from moving from the bed and he has nowhere to look but right at him.“I have?” he asks instead.“Mn.” he says, still looking at Jiang Cheng with a sort of sorrowful expression. Whatever prompted this expression Jiang Cheng doesn’t know.“No, I’m fine” he assures the other man “I’m totally fine.” He tries for a smile. But doesn’t receive one back, as he expects. Instead Lan Xichen is very still in front of him. Unmoving. Looking down. So unlike him.“Did I do something to...” he starts and Jiang Cheng is nothing if not confused. “You haven’t looked at me all day. And when I spoke to you earlier you seemed distracted by something. I-”“You haven’t done anything, Xichen-ge!” Jiang Cheng is quick to explain. He doesn’t want Lan Xichen to think for a second that he’s at fault just because Jiang Cheng can’t control his feelings.“Seriously. You’ve been nothing but good to me since I came to Gusu. In fact, you’ve been nothing but good to me the entire time we’ve known each other. You just took care of me and patched me up for heaven’s sake. How could you have possibly done something?” he explains.This makes Lan Xichen look up from the floor again and look Jiang Cheng in the eyes. His expression is relieved. A small smile starting to making the corners of his lips twitch upwards.“I’ve just been...distracted.” Jiang Cheng says. “But it’s not necessarily a bad thing.”Lan Xichen looks puzzled. But happier, which is all that matters.“Distracted? By what?”Jiang Cheng clears his throat, doesn’t know how to answer that. He swallows hard just staring at Lan Xichen, feeling lost for words and getting lost in Lan Xichen’s chocolate eyes again.“Distracted by what?” Lan Xichen tries again. Did his face get closer? Is his body closer too? Is Jiang Cheng blushing? He doesn’t know, he just feels hot all of a sudden. As if the heat inside his body might evaporate all the pool water drops still clinging to his skin. Jiang Cheng looks down at Lan Xichen’s lips, it’s only a moment. One small, irresistible moment of swiping his eyes down to the view of his mouth and Jiang Cheng is caught. He bites his lower lip between his teeth, feeling nothing but agony about being so thoroughly stared at by Lan Xichen. He pleads with his eyes for something, the doesn’t know what. Stop staring? Back off? Don’t make him answer any more questions? No. Come closer? Touch him? Press those pretty lips against his? Yes.Jiang Cheng gets one of those wishes fulfilled. Lan Xichen reads him, assesses him for a moment and then he touches his face, places a warm palm against his cheek, a thumb stroking over Jiang Cheng’s cheekbone. It might have been a friendly gesture if he hadn’t been standing so close. If the silence between them hadn’t been so thick. If Lan Xichen’s eyes hadn’t suddenly expressed a kind of hunger Jiang Cheng has never witnessed on him before. And then he is leaning closer. His fingers gentle on Jiang Cheng’s skin as he leans further into his space. Jiang Cheng closes his eyes, ready for whatever Lan Xichen wants to share with him. And then there is a loud knock on the door.The two of them spring apart. Lan Xichen takes a couple of steps back and the door opens to a worried Jiang Yanli entering the room and cooing over her injured little brother.The moment gives Jiang Cheng an intense kind of whiplash, going from that tense, sexy moment when Jiang Cheng thought Lan Xichen might kiss him, to an embarrassing moment of trying to ward off his sister’s mother hen tendencies in front of his childhood crush.His attempts at trying to get Lan Xichen alone with him again are thwarted by the rest of the family and in-laws making inquiries about his face. They take him over, Jin Zixuan apologizing profusely over and over again, Wei Wuxian patting his hair and joining his sister in cooing over him, only because he knows it’ll annoy Jiang Cheng. Jin Ling teasing him, telling him he’s not looking much uglier than before (thanks, demon child). He’s thankful for Nie Huaisang when he pulls him away from the crowd stating that too much attention will only spoil him and it gives him a reprieve from their questions. But of course, Nie Huaisang has his own questions and his own reasons for getting Jiang Cheng alone. He leads Jiang Cheng to his hotel room where he changes into the clothes he arrived in. Done with poolside shenanigans for one day.“So?? What happened?” Nie Huaisang interrogates him. “What in the world did you say to Xichen-ge for him to look that upset?”Jiang Cheng frowns. “He looked upset?”“Oh yeah. I mean, normal people would probably not notice. But by Lan-men standards it was above and beyond. He looked absolutely wrecked.”What? What is going on? Did Jiang Cheng really have a concussion? Has he imagined all of the tension between them in that room today? Oh my god, that is it, right? Jiang Cheng has just gone ahead and thrown his own feelings onto Lan Xichen, interpreting them to be the same as his. He feels so stupid. A lump forms in his throat and he feels cold all of a sudden. Maybe… Maybe when Lan Xichen saw that he closed his eyes for a kiss, he was disgusted with him and was thankful for the interruption? Shit. That must be it, right? It had all been in Jiang Cheng’s head. Because he’s liked Lan Xichen for this long. And he’s overcome with feelings for him – he’s just been projecting them all onto him when Lan Xichen feels nothing but pure friendship for him. He did move away from him pretty quickly when the door opened.It feels like he’s swallowed a brick. It sits hard and heavy inside his stomach.“Jiang Cheng? You okay?” Nie Huaisang asks, waving a hand in front of him.“Um. Yeah.” he says, doesn’t make an effort to move other than to look at his friend. And no matter how much Nie Huaisang picks and prods at him, he doesn’t tell him what happened inside that room. Lan Xichen is waiting for him outside in the car. He looks normal. That stoic grace that the Lan men have, intact. Not a look of distress, not a frown on his face. Jiang Cheng is thankful for it, because he doesn’t think he’d be able to see discomfort on Lan Xichen’s face without wanting to run far, far away. * Lan Xichen is uncharacteristically silent during the drive home, his hand subconsciously lingers at his mouth every once in a while. But all in all he doesn’t act very different towards Jiang Cheng, all things considered. There’s none of that ‘panic’ or ‘upset’ that Huaisang had been describing earlier. He smiles at him, still. Jiang Cheng doesn’t fill the silence with unnecessary chatter. That has always been Wei Wuxian’s thing. But Lan Xichen doesn’t seem to mind, at least. When they arrive home at The Cloud Recesses, the older man prompts Jiang Cheng to take a rest for a while and tells him that he’ll be preparing dinner in the meantime.“Don’t go to too much trouble, Xichen-ge. We can always get take out.” Jiang Cheng worries immediately.“It is no trouble at all. I like cooking. And I want to spoil my house guest a little. Am I allowed?” he says, as if it isn’t making Jiang Cheng want to leap over the sofa that separates them and press their bodies together. Press their lips together like he thought was going to happen before. The only thing that stops him is thinking that Lan Xichen won’t want it, but is too polite to say it out loud. Perhaps, he doesn’t want to embarrass Jiang Cheng? Or ruin their friendship.“Of course. It’s your house.” Jiang Cheng says, and Lan Xichen gives him a content smile. It looks so real. As if there’s no discomfort between them at all.“Good. I’ll call on you when dinner is ready.”Jiang Cheng decides taking a nap will probably settle his confusion a little bit. Maybe that volleyball did knock the sense right out of his noggin.When he awakens it’s to Lan Xichen’s gentle voice calling his name. He’s sitting down on the bed where Jiang Cheng is sleeping. A hand rubbing up and down his arm. It is the nicest way he’s ever been awakened in his entire life.“I knocked but there was no answer.” he says, his voice still low, mindful of Jiang Cheng’s new state of wakefulness. “You’re a heavy sleeper, A-Cheng.” He says and his smile is fond. Jiang Cheng realizes he did not wake up any the wiser.“I think the sun knocked me out.”Lan Xichen chuckles. A blessed sound Jiang Cheng thought he’d never hear again.“I’m pretty sure it was a volleyball.”And for once Jiang Cheng is the one who laughs at Lan Xichen’s joke. The sound loud in the room, his voice still a little raspy from sleep.Lan Xichen’s smile is still fond and Jiang Cheng takes comfort in the sight.“Come. Dinner is ready.”Jiang Cheng takes a few moments to rub the sleep from his eyes, he splashes his face with water and brushes his teeth. Then makes his way to the kitchen. The dining table is set up with food steaming hot from fancy designer pots. The table is dressed with plates in harmonizing colors and beautiful decorations that make the whole scene look like it belongs in some home decor magazine.“What happened to not going overboard?” Jiang Cheng asks. Lan Xichen smiles at him.“I never agreed to that.”Jiang Cheng grumbles, but makes sure to compliment him for all of his efforts. Lan Xichen holds out his chair and pulls it in when Jiang Cheng sits down. No one has ever done that for him before. It feels strange. But he tries not to put any meaning behind it. Whatever Jiang Cheng’s brain is going to produce, it’s going to be pure fabrication based on his own desires, he knows.It turns out Lan Xichen is an excellent cook. Jiang Cheng himself is not bad at cooking, he thinks. His sister has taught him how to make a variety of soups, including his favorite, lotus root soup. The spices used in Gusu are different than from Jiang Cheng’s home in Yunmeng. The flavors are subtler but very nice. Yunmeng cuisine is spicier. But Lan Xichen manages to preserve the richness of the original flavors of the produce with the weaker spices of Gusu. It’s different. But tasty.They eat and make pleasant conversation about the regional differences in food. Whatever tension has been between them from the moment of the almost-kiss is gone. It feels easy to be together again. Jiang Cheng feels relieved. Lan Xichen is obviously enjoying his company. Maybe he didn’t find the notion of kissing him disgusting at least. Jiang Cheng figures maybe he’d just wanted to preserve their friendship without the complications of...whatever had been going on in that room. It’s nice, in a way, to know that someone Jiang Cheng cares about this much wants their friendship. But another part of him also just wants them to have that same moment all over again, this time without interruptions, just to see what would happen.After dinner Jiang Cheng insists on doing the dishes and helping with tidying up. He won’t hear of Lan Xichen’s protests and just steamrolls ahead and does it anyway. Lan Xichen’s smiles grow even more fond and he suggests a movie to wind down to. Jiang Cheng tells Lan Xichen that he likes fantasy. They end up watching Lord of the Rings. Jiang Cheng tells Lan Xichen that he could totally have been cast as an elf in one of these movies, to which Lan Xichen laughs heartily. It’s about an hour and a half in when Jiang Cheng feels his eyelids get heavy. He keeps nodding off several times, until finally Lan Xichen puts a hand to Jiang Cheng’s head and gently guides him onto his shoulder. At first Jiang Cheng’s heart rate picks up and he’s too nervous to sleep. But after a few more moments when he hears the steady breaths of the older man, his eyes droop and he falls asleep on his shoulder. When Jiang Cheng wakes up next time he’s super comfortable. There’s a warm weight underneath him and his shoulder is covered by a blanket. He’s all warm and snug and he is loathe to move. But then he realizes he’s lying on top of someone. He wakes up fully, gasping when he realizes he’s lying on Lan Xichen’s chest, his body enveloped between Lan Xichen’s legs. He looks up with a loud gasp and the other man who seemed to have been asleep as well wakes up, their gazes meet. Jiang Cheng scrambles off of Lan Xichen, sitting up next to him.“I’m so sorry. Did I just fall asleep right on you? Oh my god..” Jiang Cheng covers his eyes with his hands.“Don’t worry about it.” Lan Xichen says, his voice is a little gravelly.“I’m sorry.” Jiang Cheng says again.“Don’t be.” Lan Xichen says, they stare at each other for a moment. Jiang Cheng wondering what ‘don’t be’ means.“I-eh...” he trails off, stands up from the couch and moves towards his bedroom. “I’m just going to go to sleep..you know, somewhere appropriate” he tries joking. Lan Xichen doesn’t laugh but he gives him a small comforting smile.“Good night, A-Cheng.”“Good night.” Jiang Cheng says as he closes the door to the bedroom and melts right down into the floor. How is he going to survive the rest of this week?

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

His feet touch down on the ground in a steady rhythm, his heartbeat loud in his chest, the air in his lungs burn on the way in and his muscles are aching with the strain of keeping him going, keeping him moving forwards. It’s supposed to be hard, it sometimes feels like torture, but damn it if it doesn’t also feel good. Jiang Cheng never stops when he’s only moderately worked up a pulse, that’s only the beginning, he keeps going, keeps pushing, keeps running until the burn is almost too much, until the burn is good. That’s when he slows down, when he stops and stretches his muscles out. The run out by The Cloud Recesses this morning is one of the nicest runs Jiang Cheng has ever had. The slight chill right before dawn, the mist surrounding the place clinging to Jiang Cheng’s skin, cooling him off. The Cloud Recesses was always beautiful, but Jiang Cheng had never really noticed just how beautiful it could be at dawn, the rays of the morning sun streaking the sky in red and gold, the blackness of the forest gaining color, turning first dark green and then to lighter colors the higher the sun rises. When Jiang Cheng returns to the Lan family home he’s winded and physically exhausted in the most invigorating way. Drops of sweat are running down his back, down his arms, down the sides of his face.He’s stretching out his muscles when Lan Xichen comes out of the glass door leading from the living room into the backyard. He’s dressed in soft white and beige colored clothes, either pajamas or just the kinds of clothes he lounges about in at the house.“Were you out for a run, Jiang Cheng?” he asks. Jiang Cheng is distracted by a tuft of hair standing straight up on Lan Xichen’s head. He looks so cute. He wants to brush the hair back and smile, wide and stupid. He does neither.“Yes. The scenery here is gorgeous. I’d gladly take a run out here every day.” Jiang Cheng says, stretching out his quads. A drop of sweat runs down his forehead and over his brow. Jiang Cheng lifts his shirt up to keep the sweat from running down into his eyes. When he lowers his shirt he sees Lan Xichen’s eyes fixed on him, they move from having been locked to somewhere around his mid-section to seemingly over his shoulders and his arms and then down to his legs. Jiang Cheng doesn’t think he’s ever seen Lan Xichen staring at him so blatantly before. Why? Does he have anything on him? Is he looking too sweaty and gross?“Do you exercise a lot?” Lan Xichen mumbles. This is rare for two reasons, Lan Xichen doesn’t typically mumble, and also because he seems to be avoiding eye contact. Huh.“I picked up running in high school. It felt like a nice way to de-stress so I kept going.” Jiang Cheng doesn’t tell him the reason why he started. How his inner turmoil surrounding Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao led to him needing a physical outlet. He does not tell him he kept on running some days until his feet were bleeding and his legs were cramping up. Lan Xichen doesn’t need to know that. It was never his fault. Jiang Cheng should have used his outlet in a healthier way anyway. Besides, it didn’t last for a long time. After some time he just ran normally. As he does now, still.Lan Xichen nods and hums once in confirmation of having heard his words. But he’s still looking at Jiang Cheng strangely. He looks confused, newly awake and something that is turning his eyes rather dark. Is he in a bad mood? Maybe Lan Xichen isn’t a morning person?“And I sometimes go to the gym and lift some weights.” Jiang Cheng has the arms and the abs to prove it. He likes keeping up with his exercise. It takes him out of his mind in a much easier way. Meditation was never his thing. But focusing on the here and now of his body seems to be doing the trick. Lan Xichen is still silently looking at him with that puzzling expression on his face, seems to be debating whether or not to say something. Jiang Cheng doesn’t press him for it.“I can tell.” Lan Xichen says after a while, his eyes kind of smolder for a moment before he composes himself and Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to interpret any of it.“I’ll cook you something rich in protein. For the muscles.” he says with a smirk and then leaves Jiang Cheng to finish his stretching. Jiang Cheng’s heart is somehow beating faster in his chest, even though he’s long since stopped running. * During the daytime Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have a whole day planned of games, sightseeing and other fun things in Gusu. Lan Xichen mostly sticks to Jiang Cheng, but occasionally they’re paired up with other people so as not to play favorites and spend time getting to know someone else. Jiang Cheng doesn’t see the point of it, he already knows most people here, them being family or friends of Wei Wuxian’s. But he supposes it’s not for his benefit, but for other family members to get to know each other and perhaps form some sort of friendship or at the very least alliance during games. At this point it feels like they’ve done everything from board games to charades, and honestly Jiang Cheng could use a break. He’s thankful every time Lan Xichen wants to bring him back to the Cloud Recesses for a rest or change of clothes. Their alone time is quiet and peaceful for the most part and they make small but sure steps towards getting to know each other better.Jiang Cheng learns that Lan Xichen is assistant principal of The Cloud Recesses high school now. He’s not the principal yet but he’s going to take over as principal when his uncle retires. He also learns that Lan Xichen is not used to spicy food, but doesn’t mind eating it every once in a while. He’d visited Yunmeng once when Jiang Cheng had coincidentally been elsewhere and he’d loved the cuisine. The most surprising thing he’s learned though must be that he hasn’t had a boyfriend since the breakup with Jin Guangyao. He had dated some people (who remain nameless to Jiang Cheng) but there was nothing that lasted. Nothing that developed into a relationship. Jiang Cheng has yet to tell Lan Xichen about being aroace. And Lan Xichen hasn’t asked him about past relationships, for whatever reason. He doesn’t know if he really wants to tell him, seeing as his feelings towards Lan Xichen seems to negate his aroaceness in a way. Jiang Cheng knows it doesn’t work like that. Him having feelings for Lan Xichen doesn’t actually make him any less aroace. He’s still a-spec. One exception doesn’t cancel a whole lifetime of experience. And sure maybe he is grayromantic or graysexual or something? But that’s not something he’s comfortable identifying with yet. Or re-identifying. Being aroace may seem simple to outsider eyes, but it can feel quite complicated and confusing at times. And it’s a part of him that he’s been reluctant to share at this point. With most people. The only ones knowing about his orientation being Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Nie Huaisang and his sister.There have been a couple of instances where a nosy aunt or other have asked Jiang Cheng if he’s not ready to marry yet. Lan Xichen always keeps quiet next to him, while Jiang Cheng politely explains that that is not the case. There was one time someone asked Jiang Cheng’s mom if she wanted to set her son up on a blind date. To which she responded with a chilly “I would, if only he were more amenable to it. He’s so stubborn about these things. I wonder if he’ll ever marry at all.”Honestly, Jiang Cheng has never thought of marriage a day in his life. He’s not out to his relatives, he’s not even out to his mom and dad. It’s the generational gap, he tells himself. They will not be able to understand what being aromantic or asexual means, unlike his siblings who are the only ones in his family who know. Maybe he’s underestimating his parents, or maybe he’s right about them not being able to understand what this means. Either way it’s not a conversation he’s ready to have with either of his parents, let alone some distant aunt he sees once in a blue moon. In the evening it’s mostly Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s friends hanging out. The older and younger generations are off to bed. They’ve all congregated at the hotel bar and someone suggests the drinking game “Never have I ever.” Jiang Cheng wants to die a little. He makes a move to leave when Wen Qing calls him back and tells him he has to stay. She’s a little bit drunk, but she is holding him in a death grip with both hands on his shoulders as she directs him to sit right back down in his chair again. Her brother Wen Ning is on watching the kids duty, so he’s off making sure teenagers Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are not getting themselves into trouble.Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang exchange uncomfortable glances. “Never have I ever” is not really a game suitable for aroaces who have little to no sexual experience. Especially since all of the questions seem to be centered only about finding out what scandalous sexual acts others have performed. And then hearing some of them recount the stories. Jiang Cheng fumes, glaring at Wen Qing for drawing attention to him. He could have easily slipped away, quiet and unnoticed if she hadn’t made such a big deal about it. He tries to leave again, after someone shared their story of how they had had sex in the backseat of a car at a McDonald’s parking lot. A surprising amount of people drink to that. It’s the guy next to Nie Huaisang’s turn, some friend of Jin Zixuan is there to visit. “Never have I ever had a threesome” - some people drink, some don’t. Jiang Cheng doesn’t even want to look over at Lan Xichen and see if he’s drinking or not, even if he has everyone fooled with his non-alcoholic drinks, he’s playing the game and answering the questions in his own quiet way, Jiang Cheng thinks. Nie Huaisang is looking as panicked about going next as Jiang Cheng feels – they nod to each other in silent agreement and make to leave but as they do Jin Zixun, Jin Zixuan’s cousin makes a loud remark.“Booo! You can’t leave yet! Don’t be boring. Where’s your sense of fun?”Jiang Cheng feels a vein pop in his forehead, he takes a deep breath and counts to five, willing himself not to lash out. “Maybe we have different definitions of fun, Zixun.” he says and turns to leave, Huaisang right behind him.Jin Zixun grabs for Nie Huaisang’s wrist.“Come on! We’re celebrating here. You don’t want to upset the newlyweds, do you?” He says, figures himself likely to have manipulated the two into staying and answering the lewd and frankly intrusive questions. But Jiang Cheng merely huffs a laugh and releases Nie Huaisang from Jin Zixun’s grip, placing himself bodily between them.“Hey, Wei Wuxian! Lan Wangji. Do you guys mind if Huaisang and I sit this one out?”“Nope! Not at all!” Wei Wuxian calls happily, to show everyone that nothing is wrong and that he’s totally on board with them leaving. Lan Wangji in his usual stoic fashion gives them a nod and a pleased “Mn.” With a gesture as a permission to leave.But Jin Zixun just narrows his eyes in disapproval and drunkenly rants about how boring they are and how rude they’re being. Wei Wuxian stands up and says that he’s being the rude one and if he has a problem with what his brother and his best friend does, then he’s the one who is welcome to leave. Jin Zixun looks taken aback for a moment, his expression quickly turns to offense and then he stands up, chair scraping loudly on the ground as he storms off, his cousin chasing after him, presumably to calm him down.Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng leave the bar – the game continues and they can hear uproarious laughter in the distance.“Well, that was awkward.” Nie Huaisang comments.“I don’t know why people want to know what other people do in bed. I seriously don’t get why that is interesting.” Jiang Cheng laments.“I don’t mind them playing the game. I just don’t know why I have to be part of it. It used to happen all the time when I was a teenager. This right now felt like we were right there again, everyone having to know what you’ve done and haven’t done sexually…” Nie Huaisang says. Looks like he’s still uncomfortable.“It’s none of their business.” Jiang Cheng grits out between clenched teeth.“You okay, though?” he asks, looking his friend over. Nie Huaisang nods, squirms a little in place like he does when he’s not really sure.“I’ll be fine. It just reminded me of some intrusive questions I had on some dates. Someone wanted to know the exact extent of my sexual experience when we’d just met. He acted like my being inexperienced was something to be overcome with lots of different sexual positions. It made me so uncomfortable I had to fake illness and then go home.” Nie Huaisang shivers at the memory.Jiang Cheng frowns and even though he’s not a hugger, he hugs Nie Huaisang close, rubs soothing circles on his back. He knows Nie Huaisang doesn’t like people touching him too much, but he’s long since told Jiang Cheng that he likes it when it’s his friends touching him, hugging him. He feels Nie Huaisang slowly relax into the hug, release a breath he’s been holding. Jiang Cheng’s heart aches for him.“I’ll walk you back to your room.” He says, it’s not a question and Nie Huaisang doesn’t protest. On their way to Huaisang’s room they run into Lan Xichen.“A-Cheng. I was looking for you.” He says, he’s looking at Jiang Cheng wide-eyed, as if he’d panicked and thought he’d left the hotel without him. His gaze is drawn to where Jiang Cheng is holding Nie Huaisang’s back protectively.“Are you okay, A-Sang?”Nie Huaisang nods, but it’s solemn. Lan Xichen seems to understand.“I’m just going to stay with Huaisang for a bit. If you want to go back to the Cloud Recesses right now you can go back without me.”Lan Xichen doesn’t answer immediately. He looks between the two and seems to be assessing the situation. “Okay” he says finally “I’ll text you when I’m ready to leave and you can tell me if you want to come back with me or if you want to stay.”Jiang Cheng gives him the warmest smile he can muster.“Thank you Xichen-ge.” * When they enter Huaisang’s hotel room they sit down on his bed and Huaisang takes Jiang Cheng’s hands.“You know, if you want to go with him right now, you can. I’m fine.”He looks at Jiang Cheng like he expects him to say yes, but Jiang Cheng isn’t so sure.“Actually there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”“Oh?” Nie Huaisang asks, looks at Jiang Cheng with big curious eyes.“Lan Xichen and I have grown closer this week.” Jiang Cheng says.Nie Huaisang gasps, covering his mouth with a demure hand.“How close?” He’s looking for details, maybe some fluttery romantic ones, Jiang Cheng suspects.“Not that close. Just as friends? I guess?”“You guess.” Nie Huaisang parrots with an unimpressed stare.“You know what I mean. We’re becoming friends. And he is someone who is special to me. He treats me so nicely, he’s always understanding. Kind, gentle. And I want to be his friend.”“Maybe you want to be something else to him too?” Nie Huaisang suggests with a smirk. Jiang Cheng ignores the comment.“The thing is, I want to tell him. About me. But I’m not sure I’m ready to come out to him yet.”“Then don’t.” Nie Huaisang answers. As if it’s that easy. Maybe for Huaisang it is. Jiang Cheng thinks he can probably talk his way out of any awkward situation or questions.“But...maybe it’s more that I’m afraid of what’s going to happen if I do?”“You’re afraid he’s going to reject you?” Nie Huaisang asks.“Or not believe me. Or misunderstand.” Jiang Cheng adds. He sighs heavily. He was here to comfort Huaisang, and now he’s the one being comforted. Typical.“I believe Xichen-ge is one of the most understanding people on this entire planet.” Nie Huaisang says.“It’s different when it comes to romance. Even the most open-minded can surprise you with that one.” Jiang Cheng remembers coming out to some former friends who seemed like they were open-minded. Seemed well versed in the LGBTQ terminologies. But when he said he didn’t feel romantic or sexual attraction, they treated it like a joke. Treated him like some attention seeking liar. And these had been people he’d trusted. Not everyone could be like Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. Very very few people actually understood like Nie Huaisang. Jiang Cheng didn’t want Lan Xichen to become one of those people to whom he no longer spoke.“I know.” Nie Huaisang says sadly. “But in the end, if you really like him and you want to keep him in your life it’s better to be honest with him. That way you know that he really loves you for everything that you are, including a part of your identity that’s important to you and that is such a big part of your lived experience. I can’t tell you what to do. Nor am I saying that you need to do this right now. I’m just saying...think about it. You’ll come to the right conclusion in the end.”How is Nie Huaisang so wise? Jiang Cheng feels like he holds the wisdom of a speck of dust in comparison.It takes Jiang Cheng a few moments, but after a pause he asks:“Did you just say he loves me?”“I didn’t mean romantically, necessarily.” Nie Huaisang winks. “But yeah, I think he’s crushing hard. Did you see the way he looked at you tonight?”Jiang Cheng was busy trying not to let Lan Xichen in a Luis Vuitton suit distract him too much from, well, everything else. He’d never even noticed if Lan Xichen had been looking at him.“I’ll take that dumbfounded expression as a no” Nie Huaisang laughed. “Trust me, he looked like he was seconds away from ripping you out of your pretty purple shirt.” More giggles.Well, Nie Huaisang seems to be recovering pretty well from his haunting memories.“Seriously though. Do you want me to stay?” Jiang Cheng asks. He wonders when he became this thoughtful and considerate friend. He thinks maybe Nie Huaisang himself has something to do with it. For the past six years they’ve had only each other to confide in when it came to the aroace stuff. They were already close, but them feeling the same on the matter only made them grow closer, being able to talk to someone who understands what you’re going through and who feels the same way, Jiang Cheng guesses it’s made them as close as brothers. And Jiang Cheng is fiercely protective of his brothers.Nie Huaisang smiles at him, squeezing his hands. “I really am fine. I promise. Go home with your Xichen-gege.”Jiang Cheng groans. “Don’t call him that.”“You should call him that.” Nie Huaisang suggests, scandalously “See how he reacts. Maybe he has a secret gege-kink?”Nie Huaisang only laughs as Jiang Cheng shoots him fake angry eye daggers.“Oh, gege~” he calls seductively and giggles. Jiang Cheng feels fond of him, even though he’s teasing him. That he’s comfortable enough with Jiang Cheng to say these things.“Alright. I’m leaving.” Jiang Cheng gets off the bed and texts Lan Xichen that if he’s still around that he’s coming down to the reception. He doesn’t want to go down to the bar again in case they’re still playing that stupid game or want to rope him in on some drunken shenanigans. * When he comes down to the reception Lan Xichen is already waiting there. He never drinks for two reasons, one he told Jiang Cheng is because he doesn’t like drinking too much. Can’t handle too much alcohol. The other being that it allows him to drive whenever he wants.The drive back to The Cloud Recesses is silent. It’s obvious Lan Xichen is wondering a thing or two, but he doesn’t voice any of his concerns. Jiang Cheng is too nervous and tired to have any kind of meaningful conversation in the car. Instead when they arrive back home he suggests they take a drink by the pool.“You never drink Xichen-ge. But if you’re not going anywhere else tonight, do you mind having a drink with me? Just one? I mean, only if you want to, of course.” Jiang Cheng suggests. Lan Xichen smiles, it’s warm and friendly.“Of course, A-Cheng.”They sit out by the pool on sun loungers. The evening is cool and mild. The moon is peaking out from beneath a couple of dark clouds. The sound of cicadas has lessened this time of day, now the only sound is the nearby waterfall and the chirp of the occasional bird that hasn’t found its way to its nest yet. They take small sips of sweet pear wine enjoying the midnight calm.“Are you and A-Sang...” Lan Xichen starts but then cuts himself off. “Never mind. It’s none of my business. Is Huaisang alright?” he asks instead.“He’s fine.” Jiang Cheng answers, takes a deep breath, doesn’t really know how to continue this conversation. “And we’re not...me and Huaisang...we’re not...I’m not...fuck.” He breaks off.Lan Xichen waits him out.“What happened back there. With Nie Huaisang. There are some things that he’s gone through that still kind of triggers him.” Jiang Cheng tries to explain.“You’re protective of him. You care about him.” Lan Xichen says, carefully choosing his words.“I am. I do. In a way that can’t be explained by conventional words.” Jiang Cheng really feels that way these days. Nie Huaisang is a friend, he’s family, he’s the only one who really gets him. Not even Wei Wuxian understands him in the same way.Lan Xichen nods gravely, and it looks more and more to Jiang Cheng like heartbreak. He wants to nip that in the bud.“Also, what happened back there at the bar didn’t just affect Huaisang. I was trying to get out of there as well.”Lan Xichen’s head snaps up to look at him, surprised and with his undivided attention.“Why?”“Well. When everyone at the bar started playing that game “never have I ever” I was uncomfortable because the questions were likely to be about romance or sex. And...I’m aromantic and asexual.”There, he’s said it.Lan Xichen just stares at him. It makes Jiang Cheng nervous. It’s not a good sign that he’s this quiet. Surely, he’s freaking out. So he keeps going. Plows on.“I’ve never had sex. I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never even kissed anyone.” He blurts out, he feels increasingly nervous about the way Lan Xichen just keeps staring at him and not speaking.Finally, he opens his mouth.“But, how??” he asks, genuinely baffled. “You are quite frankly a stunning man, how? How did this come to be?”Lan Xichen seems not to be able to grasp it. Jiang Cheng would have laughed if it didn’t take him by surprise quite this much.Jiang Cheng belatedly feels the tips of his ears redden at that confession. Lan Xichen thinks he’s stunning? But also, he may have gone about this the wrong way because he now realizes he hasn’t explained what being aromantic or asexual means and Lan Xichen clearly doesn’t understand it.“It’s not about anyone being attracted to me. Obviously I’ve had people be interested in me before. I’ve been asked out on dates. Propositioned in clubs, even. But I’ve just never had any romantic attraction to anyone, so I’ve never wanted to go on dates. I’ve never felt sexual attraction so I haven’t wanted to have sex.”“You’ve never fallen in love?” Lan Xichen asks.Jiang Cheng thinks about saying no. But that would be a lie. Instead he says:“Only once in my 28 years on this earth.”“Once?” Lan Xichen tilts his head to the side in wonder. “And during that one relationship, did you never kiss or...other things?”“It wasn’t like that. It was...” Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to continue without confessing his unrequited crush towards Lan Xichen from 10 years ago in a tsunami of words crashing out of him uncontrollably.Lan Xichen looks lost again. But then he looks down and his eyes are sadder.“They were lucky to have have had your heart.”It’s clear Lan Xichen has come to the wrong conclusion, so Jiang Cheng clarifies.“My crush back then...It was unrequited.”Again, Lan Xichen looks like he’s lost the fundamental meaning of life. He looks the most confused Jiang Cheng has ever seen him.“I’m sorry, I think I’ve explained this all wrong.” Jiang Cheng sighs. “I think I’m too tired and perhaps a little too tipsy to do the whole aromantic asexual powerpoint right now, but I promise I’ll explain properly about all of this tomorrow. If you’re interested?”Lan Xichen smiles, finally, after what seems like an eternity without the warmth of his smile.“I am interested in everything you have to say, Jiang Cheng.” he says. It’s formal, but not in a bad way. And Jiang Cheng breathes a sigh of relief.“I have one last question before you turn in, if you don’t mind?” Lan Xichen says, and Jiang Cheng turns to him with a friendly smile.“Go ahead.”“Who was the idiot who did not return your love?”Jiang Cheng is shocked by the wording for a second before he bursts out laughing. The irony is something made by the gods. He keeps on laughing until tears spring to his eyes, he laughs until he has to clutch his stomach.He does not have the heart to tell him who it is, so he just keeps on laughing, leaving a confused Lan Xichen without an answer. *

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next morning Jiang Cheng doesn’t know if what he revealed to Lan Xichen is what made him awkward and fumbling. But Lan Xichen is not acting like his normal cool self. In the kitchen in the morning he keeps dropping things, especially whenever he looks over at Jiang Cheng, as if his eyes have some sort of numbing effect on his hands only. He mumbles things to himself that Jiang Cheng doesn’t quite catch and when he asks Lan Xichen to speak up, he doesn’t repeat it. Merely states that he was thinking out loud and asks Jiang Cheng not to mind him.Part of him wishes he hadn’t told Lan Xichen about being aroace. He probably could have just said that he thought the conversations were lewd or too personal or something like that. But the truth is, he doesn’t want to hide who he is, not to Lan Xichen. He hasn’t told most of his relatives about his sexual and romantic orientation, but that’s merely because he doesn’t want to have to have a full hour-long explanation of what being aromantic and asexual is and what it really means. He also does not think it’s an appropriate conversation to have at a wedding party surrounded by drunk people who just want to play games.There is a part of him that thinks that if he could have done the previous night all over again, he would have shouted it to everyone “Excuse me and Huaisang, but we are aroace, so we don’t feel comfortable with this game!” - and just left and let everyone else at the gathering figure out on their own what aroace is. But in all honesty it would have just come back to bite them both in the butt because maybe Huaisang didn’t want to be outed like that, and then Jiang Cheng would have still had to spend the remainder of the week answering questions about his sexuality to every single gossiping family member (and Wei Wuxian’s friends) who had the balls to ask. And considering this family, he knows that he would have had to spend the rest of his vacation just talking about this. Which he doesn’t want to do. Because the only one he wants to receive any questions from is Lan Xichen – who is currently acting extremely odd in front of him.Jiang Cheng doesn’t question it, however. He figures that if there is something Lan Xichen wants to share with him, he will.Just when they’re ready to go to whatever excursion his brother and brother-in-law have planned next, Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen receive texts at the same time.“Huh” Jiang Cheng huffs, smirking a little bit “seems like our brothers went a little too hard on the shots last night.”Lan Xichen smiles, and it’s natural this time, he looks at Jiang Cheng with a mischievous expression.“Seeing as plans are canceled, do you maybe want to go somewhere with me?” he adds, looks almost a little bit insecure. Jiang Cheng doesn’t think he’s ever seen a look like that cross Lan Xichen’s features. But he likes it, he looks sweet. How could he possibly say no to that face?“Whatever you want to do.” Jiang Cheng answers.“Whatever? Really?” Lan Xichen asks, his tone a bit darker. Jiang Cheng doesn’t think it’s meant to be suggestive, it’s only himself being seduced by it. A strange current of excitement runs through him, something he hasn’t felt in a very long time.“Within reason, of course.” Jiang Cheng amends, and his face must display his momentary panic because Lan Xichen just laughs at him.“Don’t worry, A-Cheng. It’s nothing too strenuous. There is a hiking path along the mountains. It takes a couple of hours getting there but the view is worth it.”“Sounds great!” Jiang Cheng exclaims. Maybe he made all the awkwardness of this morning up in his head? Maybe Lan Xichen was merely tired? He, too, is not used to drinking and Jiang Cheng had prompted for him to have a glass together, which he had agreed to. But it seems whatever hangover he was experiencing this morning must be gone now if he’s willing to go on an hours-long hike. In the end Jiang Cheng decides not to overthink it.They put on some loose clothes, proper shoes, cover themselves in sunscreen and anti-bug spray, bring some water and a first aid kit in their backpacks and then get going. Lan Xichen leads Jiang Cheng on a path that is indeed not strenuous. The trail is well worn with how many people have been hiking there during the years and they enjoy some time in silence, other than for Lan Xichen to point out a rare bird, or a squirrel on a branch. Jiang Cheng brought his phone, of course, and takes pictures of every beautiful thing along the way. Including the beautiful person he has with him. He tells Lan Xichen to stop and turn around and snaps a few shots of him with the backdrop of a misty mountain. Lan Xichen just laughs, embarrassed, but doesn’t protest. He even poses with his fingers in a peace sign every once in a while and asks if they should take one together. They do, and Jiang Cheng’s heart beats hard and insistent when Lan Xichen puts an arm around him for the photo. His arm is heavy, strong and secure. Jiang Cheng feels like melting into his side a little bit. But he doesn’t allow himself to, he only thanks him and then they move along the path again.Once they reach the summit he understands why Lan Xichen wanted to come here. The view is spectacular. The natural beauty of The Cloud Recesses is all on display here. The green mountains surrounded by mist from the nearby waterfall, the mist surrounding the small houses below, it’s dream-like and enchanting. The sky is clear blue, the sun is shining down strong at them but the breeze up here is refreshing.“Do you like it?” Lan Xichen asks, looking at Jiang Cheng with expectant eyes.Jiang Cheng sighs, how could he not love this place?“It’s beautiful here.” he says, torn between looking more at Lan Xichen’s pleased smile and back at the view.Jiang Cheng sits down on a flat rock, ready to rest and just soak up the moment for a bit. Lan Xichen starts taking out things from his backpack. A thermos, some glass containers clearly containing food and some utensils.“Xichen-ge” Jiang Cheng says, tone firm, not that scolding tone he has with Wei Wuxian, he could never use that with someone older than him, especially with someone as gentle as Lan Xichen, but he still sounds firm “You should have told me you were carrying so many things in your backpack. Mine is almost empty besides the water, I would have helped you.”Lan Xichen just chuckles, shakes his head. “There’s no need A-Cheng. I could handle it just fine. But thank you for offering. You’re very sweet.”Jiang Cheng doesn’t know what to do with that. Sweet? No one has ever called him sweet before. Not even his mom, maybe especially not his mom. His sister sometimes called him sweet when he was a child. But even then he was surly and pouty more than anything. It feels...nice.“Next time, tell me.” He says, in his own direct way. Lan Xichen doesn’t take offense. He never takes offense, he just calmly accepts Jiang Cheng’s command as if he has a right to tell Lan Xichen what to do.“Alright. I will.” He says and opens a container filled with sandwiches, another with slices of fruit and a third one with a couple of sweet pastries. The thermos contains tea. Jiang Cheng savors all of it. The view, the food, the breeze and the content expression on the man sitting next to him. Their silence isn’t awkward this time. It’s peaceful. Jiang Cheng catches himself thinking that if every day were like this he wouldn’t have a care in the world.They sit there and enjoy the stillness for a while and when they’re ready for the trek back home again Jiang Cheng prompts Lan Xichen to take a few more selfies with him with the view from the summit in the background. Just when Jiang Cheng is about to take the last photo Lan Xichen spots something on his face.“Wait. You have something here.”The slightly taller man holds Jiang Cheng’s chin still with one hand, the other brushes fingers over Jiang Cheng’s cheekbone. Once, twice, three times. He looks so focused, Jiang Cheng can’t help but observe him, even from this close. Then his fingers retreat and he’s just looking at Jiang Cheng now, the black pupils in his doe eyes dilate somewhat and Jiang Cheng holds his breath. Looks down at Lan Xichen’s lips and just as he does so Lan Xichen retreats. Leaves Jiang Cheng some space and awkwardly gestures for the path down the mountain again.“Let’s go.” Lan Xichen says and Jiang Cheng follows.Jiang Cheng may be burning in a strange sort of way that has nothing to do with his muscles being put to use.The trek down the mountain is filled with a whole other type of silence than the one from before. * * * Once they’ve come back to the Lan family home, Jiang Cheng hops into the shower. When he emerges from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his hips, he almost bumps into Lan Xichen.“Oh!” They both make noises of surprise.Lan Xichen looks at him strangely again. Like those awkward, hurried stares from this morning. They perplex Jiang Cheng. What do they mean? Lan Xichen looks him up and down, his face unreadable, but his eyes, his eyes are doing something Jiang Cheng hasn’t seen in years. Since his clubbing days. Sometimes some guys would look at Jiang Cheng like that when he was out with Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian. Not once has he seen those eyes on Lan Xichen before.Jiang Cheng’s hair is still wet, dripping down onto his shoulders.“Excuse me.” He says and tries to walk past the older man.Lan Xichen clears his throat. “Oh. Yes. So sorry. Please, A-Cheng.” he says and moves to the side and gestures for Jiang Cheng to pass him on the other side. Jiang Cheng does, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Lan Xichen. They end up kind of staring at each other until Jiang Cheng reaches his bedroom and Lan Xichen enters the bathroom.Huh. Weird.Once he’s inside the bedroom and toweling off his wet hair, Wei Wuxian calls him.“Hey.”“Jiang Cheng!! How are you??”“I’m good. How’s the hangover?”“Pfff. Hangover? Me?? I know I’ve been taking it easy with the alcohol lately, but honestly couple of drinks ain’t got nothin’ on me!”Wei Wuxian sounds happy, truthful.“And the husband?” he asks.“It seems my hubby is not as used to drinking as I am. Of course I knew that before, but I didn’t think he’d feel so sick the day after. Poor baby. He doesn’t show it, but I can tell he’s suffering by the way he moves more carefully than usual. And how he squints at loud sounds. He’s not normally fond of loud sounds, but I’m sure they didn’t give him a splitting headache before. Also when I suggested just staying in today he didn’t fight me on it. I thought for sure he’d go on about familial duties or whatnot, but he just nodded and lay down with me again.”“I’m going to have to stop you right there before you give me unnecessary details about what else you did when you lay down together.”“Hey! I’m not that big on sharing what Lan Zhan and I do in bed, you know!”“You are shameless, Wei Wuxian. And we both know it.”Wei Wuxian laughs on the other end. A sweet, amused chuckle.“You know me so well.” He sighs.“Unfortunately I do.”“So how is it on your end? How are things with Xichen-ge?” Wei Wuxian asks happily. Kind of sounds a little too curious. Like he’s asking for something in particular. Jiang Cheng gives in, not because Wei Wuxian deserves to know, but because he has concerns of his own.“Thing are great. Just fine. Or, well. Um...” he trails off, unsure of how to voice his concerns exactly.“Hm? It started off sounding good but that ending...how are things really, Jiang Cheng?”Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath.“So I told him I’m aromantic asexual.”A gasp on the other end.“Really, Jiang Cheng? You told him that?!”“I did.”“I don’t know how to put this delicately, so I’m just going to ask directly. Do you still have feelings for him, you know, like in the past?”When has Wei Wuxian ever put anything delicately? Jiang Cheng wonders.“I...eh. I don’t know. I think so. I definitely feel things when I’m with him. Things I don’t normally feel for anyone else.”Maybe he doesn’t quite want to admit it. But he has had those feelings rushing back, as if they were never gone. Except they had been. But now they’re back, and insist on being felt whenever Lan Xichen is close. Or within eyesight. Or dancing around in his mind.“Then why did you tell him?”The question takes Jiang Cheng aback. Why?“Why wouldn’t I tell him?”“I mean. If you tell him that you are aromantic asexual – won’t he think he doesn’t stand a chance with you? Doesn’t him knowing that just complicate things for you? If you’d want to be with him, I mean?”“Wei Wuxian.” Jiang Cheng says firmly, trying not to let old habits of yelling at his brother come back to the surface again. They’d been there, done that in the past. Jiang Cheng is older and wiser and resolves that even if his brother doesn’t understand where he’s coming from, he can still talk to him about how he feels. “You’re bisexual.” Wei Wuxian hums in confirmation. “What if you had told Lan Wangji you were gay, just in case he was a biphobe – and then he finds out about your past relationships with women?”“Um..” Wei Wuxian doesn’t seem to know how to answer that.“I’m not about to lie about who I am to him just in case he doesn’t understand it, or me, or my feelings. No matter how this goes I want to be honest with Xichen-ge. In every way I can.”There’s an understanding hum on the other line. Wei Wuxian makes that sound whenever he’s taking something in.“Besides, if he’d asked me about past relationships, because that is something that was bound to happen sooner or later. What would I tell him? I haven’t dated because…I was never lucky enough to secure a date? How would that sound?”“Terrible.” Wei Wuxian agrees. “And completely false because you’re handsome and people have literally been lining up to date you.”“Right.” Jiang Cheng would say that Wei Wuxian is exaggerating as usual, but he’s not for once. Jiang Cheng has been asked out. A lot.“Okay okay, I see what you’re saying. Honesty is best.” Wei Wuxian agrees. “So you’ve told him already...about never having…”Wei Wuxian doesn’t say the words but Jiang Cheng knows what he’s getting at.“Yup.”“All of it?”“All of it.”Well, except that one kiss he stole. But Lan Xichen already knows about that one.“Wow.” Wei Wuxian sounds amazed. “How did he react?”“That’s a thing I wanted to talk to you about actually. I’m glad you called by the way. He’s being kind of weird.”“Weird? How weird?”Jiang Cheng sighs. “Awkward. Fumbly. He keeps dropping things. And there’s like, weird silences between us. Sometimes it’s comfortable silence...”“Mmm-hmm.” Wei Wuxian hums, listening.“And sometimes the silences are...I don’t know how to describe them. Heavy? For example just now, I came out of the bathroom and we kind of bumped into each other right in front of the door and he didn’t say anything he just looked at me and his eyes did this weird dark thing I can’t even describe.”“Oh my god, Jiang Cheng are you having sexual tension with Lan Xichen?” Wei Wuxian full-on squeals on the other end of the line. Jiang Cheng has to hold the phone away from his ear not to go deaf.“I take it your husband is not in the room.”Wei Wuxian laughs. “No he’s downstairs having a late lunch. But don’t you dare change the subject. This is riveting news!!”“God, you sound just like Huaisang.” Jiang Cheng drawls. Feels his face go red. He’s never the subject of romantic speculation or ever in the position to be teased about his love life. This is quite novel for him.“Nie Huaisang is a very sensible human being, Jiang Cheng. Take note.”Jiang Cheng makes a sound of discomfort. Wei Wuxian just laughs.“Don’t get all grumpy about it, dearest brother. Anyhoo. So I think we can establish that there is a certain interest there.”“An interest where?” Jiang Cheng asks, feeling lost.“With Lan Xichen of course! If he’s staring that much he must be into you!”“I’m just...it’s just because it’s awkward. I sprung this aroace stuff on him and I didn’t even explain it properly.”“Have you told him about your crush on him in high school?” Wei Wuxian asks, his voice sounds teasing now.“Of course not. And I will never tell him about that.”“Why not?!” Wei Wuxian sounds positively deprived.“Because it was a hundred years ago, I was a kid, he was in a relationship and it’s all in the past.”“Well, not all in the past, I’m sure.” Wei Wuxian teases.“Wei Wuxian! You will not breathe a word of this.” Jiang Cheng warns.“In the past 10 years, have I said anything?” Wei Wuxian challenges.“Luckily no.” Jiang Cheng grumbles. “And thanks, by the way.”Jiang Cheng can almost hear Wei Wuxian preen on the other side. “You’re very welcome.”They hang up after a few more news updates about the family. Apparently Wen Yuan and Jin Ling went missing for a couple of hours doing god knows what, god knows where at the break of dawn. But they came home safe and sound, their sister was livid, however. So was Wen Qing.Mere moments after hanging up with Wei Wuxian there’s a knock on the door. Jiang Cheng opens the door and Lan Xichen is standing there looking mouthwatering in a dark casual suit and two buttons open on his black shirt. Probably because of the heat.“Can I take you out to dinner?” he asks, honey voice, smooth and suave and Jiang Cheng doesn’t know why he feels like his knees might buckle.“Sure.” * * * Not one to be outdone, Jiang Cheng dresses to match Lan Xichen’s pretty designer suit. He hastily puts some product in his hair, splashes on a dab of cologne and picks his best casual suit. Lan Xichen opens the door for him as they get into his convertible. If it were Wei Wuxian driving such a car, Jiang Cheng would make a joke about having a mid-life crisis and looking pathetic. But Lan Xichen is nothing but the very image of vitality, there’s nothing mid-life about him, and driving this thing down the narrow roads of The Cloud Recesses he doesn’t look anything less than cool. Beside him Jiang Cheng is sort of getting the feeling of being armcandy, he’s surprised he kind of likes it. Lan Xichen is happy again, it seems that way judging by the small smile on his lips, something satisfied in it. He’s humming along to a song on the radio and Jiang Cheng is too busy enjoying the sight and this pleasant moment to ask him questions.When they arrive at the restaurant however, Lan Xichen once more turns uncharacteristically silent. He’s never been a chatterbox but there has always been an ease to his silences that is missing right now. Jiang Cheng realizes that that’s when he’s thinking about something.When the entrees arrive, Jiang Cheng is too impatient to let this go on any longer.“I can’t help but feel like there is something you’re wondering about, Xichen-ge. If it’s about me feel free to ask me anything and I will answer to the best of my ability.”Lan Xichen looks like Jiang Cheng has unearthed a terrible secret.“How did you know?”Jiang Cheng shrugs. “You’re more silent than usual. And despite the silence your thinking is very loud. It’s not like the other times when your silence is merely musing or a natural pause. It’s so much louder.”“My silence is loud?”“Exactly.” Jiang Cheng nods. Lan Xichen hums thoughtfully, that small satisfied smile is back on his lips. He looks pleased.“Besides Wangji, I think you’re the only one who noticed that.”This has Jiang Cheng’s eyes widening in surprise.“Really? The only one?”“I was with Guangyao for 6 years. He’s a very perceptive person, but even he didn’t notice the difference between my silences, and he never knew when to ask, the way you do.”“I thought we agreed he’s an idiot, right?” Jiang Cheng says, tries to joke about it but he can’t help but to grit his teeth at the mere memory of that weasel.But Lan Xichen laughs, loud and infectious and that’s all that matters.“I never agreed.” Lan Xichen says, but it’s playful, testing Jiang Cheng out to see what he’s going to say next.“You will. I think you’ll come to find I’m right about this.” Jiang Cheng says confidently, Lan Xichen laughs again. His smile is gorgeous.When the main course arrives, Jiang Cheng doesn’t mind Lan Xichen’s silences any longer, but he’s still wondering what he was thinking about and he voices his concerns.“Seriously. If there’s anything you’d like to know, just ask. I know I didn’t exactly explain the details of my sexual and romantic orientation very well.”“You don’t have to!” Lan Xichen hurries to reassure him.“But I want to.” Jiang Cheng says, and then they just look at each other for a charged moment. “I want you to understand.”Lan Xichen nods, then. He doesn’t look uncomfortable, per se, there’s just something cautious about his expression. The way he’s holding himself together, away from Jiang Cheng’s space.They talk about other things at first. Jiang Cheng regales Lan Xichen stories about his work, hoping he doesn’t come off as some micromanaging boss, but he thinks he notes an openness in Lan Xichen’s expression that tells him he’s not doing bad. He tells him about how he didn’t really know how to lead at first, like his parents wanted him to but how he grew into the role as obstacles came along. He’s still growing, still learning and Lan Xichen remarks that the fact that he said that is probably a sign that he’s doing well. Lan Xichen in turn tells him about his teaching, how he loves to work in the language department but that during the years he’s been taking more and more responsibility over the management side of things at the school. Lan Xichen is working at The Cloud Recesses High – and Jiang Cheng for a moment imagines what it would have been like to have Lan Xichen as a teacher at his high school. Jiang Cheng is forever grateful that the older man never wanted to teach over there at that time because Jiang Cheng would have been too distracted to pay attention in class and would have failed miserably. Apparently his uncle has been hoisting most of the responsibility onto Lan Xichen, so whenever he’s ready to retire, Lan Xichen is ready to assume his position officially as principal of the school. It boggles Jiang Cheng’s mind somewhat. Should principals of schools really be this hot? Isn’t there some sort of law against that?He’s taken out of his strange thoughts when out of no-where Lan Xichen asks something unexpected.“Do you sometimes wonder what it would be like?”Lan Xichen looks curiously at Jiang Cheng.“What what would be like?”“To be in love with someone? To date someone? To kiss them...to touch them?”Jiang Cheng’s jaw drops for a second before he composes his features and takes a deep breath. So Lan Xichen has questions after all.“No. Yes? Kind of? No?” he says, knowing this is not enough of an answer, because reality is more complicated than that. His life, and his experiences are more complicated than that. “Those are quite separate answers if I’m honest.”“How so?” Lan Xichen asks, his face is open, kind, as always.Jiang Cheng takes another deep breath. He wants to skirt around the being in love question, because that’s the most complicated one. So he answers what he knows for now.“I do wonder, sometimes, what dating is like. But mostly I wonder how it is for other people. Seeing as I have not been romantically attracted to anyone who has asked me on a date, I wouldn’t experience the date in the same way as someone who is alloromantic – that means someone who experiences romantic attraction. I’ve never dated because I’ve never felt compelled to. I’ve met friends who I have hung out with, and regrettably some friends who misunderstood the situation to be a date. But I’ve never really wanted to go on one with someone who’s asked me out.”“Oh, I see...” Lan Xichen says, his face is strangely unreadable now.“When it comes to touching people...I assume you mean sexually?” Jiang Cheng soldiers on. Lan Xichen’s eyes shoot up, panicked.“You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to! Really, A-Cheng. That was too invasive a question...”“No. It’s okay. If you want to hear it, I’m happy to share.” Jiang Cheng says, just to be clear he adds “With you.”Lan Xichen settles down and nods slowly.“I can confidently say that I don’t really wonder about sex, like ever. It seems like a waste of time. I don’t really have anything against the concept, but I don’t really give it any space in my life.”Jiang Cheng knows the tips of his ears are burning red. Is he really talking about sex with Lan Xichen? Not that he’s being all that graphic. When he’s told people about being asexual specifically he’s always gotten a very intrusive question ‘do you masturbate?’ - which is something he steadfastly refuses to answer. Even if Lan Xichen would ask right now, he wouldn’t answer it. But Lan Xichen isn’t other people, and he doesn’t ask that.Lan Xichen nods in understanding. His face is unreadable again and he doesn’t know whether or not he’s disappointed or if he just asked out of pure curiosity, or if he’s secretly disgusted with Jiang Cheng or if he’s fine with everything.“Thank you for telling me, Jiang Cheng.” Lan Xichen reaches a hand across the table, past the char su and the side dishes and squeezes Jiang Cheng’s hand. His touch is warm and Jiang Cheng feels a tension he didn’t even know he was holding release from his body, his shoulders relaxing somewhat. On top of that, Lan Xichen’s eyes are warm too, a gentle smile. He’s so handsome and appealing sitting there being accepting and trying to understand him that Jiang Cheng ends up questioning his entire identity. Was he really ever aromantic at all?But that’s right. Lan Xichen is his one exception. Sitting right in front of him. The only one he has big, complicated romantic feelings for. Jiang Cheng debates with himself whether or not he should follow Wei Wuxian’s advice and just tell him. He thinks of the embarrassment and thinks better of it. But then...it happened a long time ago, the first crush he had. The only one. Would it really be that bad to tell him? Maybe he could keep it all in past tense?“Can I ask one more thing?” Lan Xichen asks, his hand retreating, giving Jiang Cheng space again.“Ask as much as you want.” Jiang Cheng declares. Lan Xichen smiles at him.“You said you’ve never wanted to go on a date with someone who has asked you on one. But what about you? Have you ever wanted to ask someone out?”Ah, so he’d noticed Jiang Cheng’s deliberate phrasing. Lan Xichen is smart, after all.Jiang Cheng bites his lower lip, trying to hold back an embarrassed smile.“Only once. But I didn’t do it.” he says, looks at his glass of red wine and swirls the contents a couple of times, takes a small sip.“Did you feel romance for this person?” Lan Xichen asks.Jiang Cheng feels blood rush to his face. Doesn’t know if it shows.“I did.” he confesses, he keeps staring at his wine glass. “Me being aromantic is like, there is this whole life I’ve led. 28 years of being aromantic. But then there’s this one exception. Like the exception that verifies the rule.” He explains, hopes Lan Xichen will understand this too.“What prevented you from pursuing it?” Lan Xichen’s voice is dark, quiet and calm, yet distinct from the murmur of the other restaurant patrons around them. His voice, breaking through all of the background noise – as if Lan Xichen was born to break through all of Jiang Cheng’s barriers.“It would have been inappropriate.”“Why?”“I was too young and he was involved with someone else.”Jiang Cheng looks at Lan Xichen now and meets a face in shock. Does he know? Has he figured it out? Why Jiang Cheng went from a good friend who came by often to someone who didn’t even have the courtesy to say goodbye before he left the country. It’s been 10 years, but Jiang Cheng still feels bad about it.“He was older?” Lan Xichen asks. Looks to Jiang Cheng like he hasn’t figured it out yet. He distinctly looks like he’s trying to rack his brain for who it could be.“I was just barely 18.” Jiang Cheng says. “And I haven’t felt that way ever since.” he tags on.Lan Xichen looks like he has a lot to process so Jiang Cheng lets him digest this information for now. He is himself also processing what he’s just revealed, and thinking to himself about how much more he wants to reveal to the older man.They have dessert, some strawberry mousse that melts sweet on his tongue and afterwards Lan Xichen insists on paying for everything and then escorts Jiang Cheng back to the car. They drive in silence on their way back home. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how much of it is comfortable and how much is merely him worrying about what Lan Xichen is actually thinking.When they come back home, ready to wash up, Lan Xichen stops Jiang Cheng with a hand to his bicep. He feels the fingers slide off the material of his shirt slowly.“A-Cheng?”“Yes?”Lan Xichen’s eyes sparkle, even in the darkness of the evening.“Maybe this is overstepping my boundaries, and if I am please let me know.”Jiang Cheng nods. Waits for the question.“Can you tell me who it was? The person you once had feelings for? I’ve been trying to figure out who was in your life at this time but I can’t seem to remember anyone other than Wei Wuxian, my brother and Huaisang. But you said he was older?”That’s when Jiang Cheng decides.“It was you, Xichen-ge. You’re the one I had romantic feelings for. You’re the exception to my aromantic rule. You’re the only exception.” * * *

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“You had a crush on me?” Lan Xichen’s tone of voice is incredulous, if Jiang Cheng had to put a word to the sound.“Yes.” Jiang Cheng answers, his voice in comparison is faint. A whisper.“But..you were-”“It was 10 years ago, Xichen-ge. I was 18. Just a kid, really. I was young and inexperienced. And you were a grown adult in a grown adult relationship. I had never felt that way before and it was part confusing, part exciting. But for the most part it was heartbreaking, because you had a boyfriend.”“The day you met Guangyao...” Lan Xichen trails off, as if thinking back on the day, looking as if he’s then realizing why Jiang Cheng had reacted the way he did.“Yes.” Jiang Cheng closes his eyes against the memory. It still kind of hurts. More distantly. But it’s still kind of there.“That’s when you...closed yourself off from me.”Lan Xichen is putting it delicately. Jiang Cheng flat out avoided him.“I’m sorry about that. I never gave you an explanation. You deserved better.”“No, that’s..” Lan Xichen looks off balance. Like someone swept a rug from underneath him.“And then you were gone. To London. With your perfect, smarmy boyfriend.” Jiang Cheng continues.“I...” Lan Xichen really does look lost. As if he doesn’t even know where he is. Jiang Cheng should stop. Should let him digest it all. Maybe this was too much all at once?“You really had a crush on me?” Lan Xichen asks, as if he can’t believe it.Jiang Cheng feels his face flush red, the tips of his ears, his neck. But he meets Lan Xichen’s eyes, looking up at him, firm.“Like I said. You’re the exception. The only one.”For a moment they’re just staring at each other again. Lan Xichen looks like he wants to ask more questions, looks like he’s burning with some desire to do something Jiang Cheng can’t put into words. It’s there for a moment and then gone.Things are really tense, Lan Xichen’s lips are parted in awe. They’re pink and wet and they look soft. The only lips Jiang Cheng has ever entertained kissing. Lan Xichen catches him looking at his lips, they close slightly before opening again to speak.“Jiang Cheng...” he says but before he can start whatever it is he wants to say his phone rings, loud and insistent in his pocket.The phone startles Jiang Cheng out of his daze and he takes a step back. Lan Xichen looks like he doesn’t really want to answer, but he does anyway when he sees it’s his uncle calling.“Uncle, I’m kind of in the middle of something-”He’s interrupted by the voice on the other line. Then he sighs heavily.“Understood. Okay, I’ll be right there.”“What’s happened?” Jiang Cheng asks.“Uncle needs me to drive him to the airport. He’s going to Japan for a few days, booked a flight for early morning. The taxi he’d booked earlier this week canceled last minute. He’s worried he’ll miss the flight if he goes any later.”Jiang Cheng nods in understanding.“Is it okay if I leave?” Lan Xichen asks. Jiang Cheng wants to laugh, but he doesn’t.“Of course. Go take care of your uncle.”Even though Lan Xichen is supposed to be hurrying out to his car, he stands there for a few moments, staring at Jiang Cheng with so many unspoken words.“I’ll wait for you until you get back, if you want?” Jiang Cheng suggests, wants Lan Xichen to know they can continue this conversation if he wants to. But Lan Xichen shakes his head.“It’s going to be quite late when I come back.”“I’ll wait.” Jiang Cheng says, he’s determined now. His reward is another one of those gentle smiles. It’s fond. So sweet. Jiang Cheng really is quite screwed.Lan Xichen leaves then and Jiang Cheng takes up station in the living room in front of the television, intending to watch a movie until he comes back. And then maybe if he’s lucky he can find out whether or not Lan Xichen has had the slightest inkling of feelings for him back.He turns on the most obnoxiously loud action movies he can find. But instead of keeping him awake the monotony of the car chases and the sounds of airplane motors and the gunfights only serve to lull him to sleep.The next time Jiang Cheng wakes up, the TV is off, there is a blanket covering him and the soft break of day is coming in through the windows. * They don’t talk about it when Jiang Cheng wakes up to the sound of Lan Xichen making something delicious for breakfast in the kitchen. They don’t talk about it while they’re having said breakfast, only giving each other glances that Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to interpret. But Lan Xichen still smiles at him. Sweet. Genuine. And Jiang Cheng smiles back, thinking at least Lan Xichen isn’t disgusted with him revealing his feelings for him. That’s got to count for something, right? They continue not talking about it while Lan Xichen drives them over to the hotel in his convertible, and he seems as happy as ever driving and humming to the music on the radio. It’s the last day of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s wedding celebrations. Jiang Cheng thinks the bonding between the families has gone well enough. The Lans are all mostly distant relatives of Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen, with exception of their uncle who raised them. So it has been mostly second cousins aunts and uncles they’re not very close to that came to the wedding and the subsequent celebrations. On Wei Wuxian’s side it’s been mostly his close friends that came, a few Jiang elders and one or two from the Yu clan as well. As for Wei Wuxian it seems he was the most happy about that their sister came. Seeing their sister has kept Wei Wuxian in a good mood. Jiang Cheng has loved having her close by for so many days too, even though he’s admittedly been a little bit distracted by Lan Xichen’s presence to really pay her any of the attention she deserves.At the moment he’s watching Lan Xichen from the bar. He’s joined the crowd of dancers and is now wedged between Nie Huaisang and Wen Qing. He’s laughing as he dances with Jiang Cheng’s friends. Jiang Cheng can’t help but stare for a while, thinks he hasn’t been that obvious about it, but he discovers he’s wrong when his sister sidles up to him with a mojito and a curious smile.“Why don’t you go tell him how you feel about him, A-Cheng?”Jiang Cheng startles. His eyes going wide and he wants to blurt out some excuse, deny it. But he finds he doesn’t have the fight in him. He doesn’t really want to deny it. He’s been grappling with these feelings he’s had for Lan Xichen for such a long time that he’s exhausted. And thinks maybe it will be easier to just lean into it instead.“I did.” he answers, exhaling deeply.“You have?” his sister asks, surprise permeating her tone.“Yesterday.”“And what did he say to that? How did he react?”Jiang Cheng shrugs. Takes a sip of his mojito.“We got interrupted. His uncle needed him to drive him to the airport. So he did. And then morning came and we haven’t talked about it.”“Boys” Yanli says and rolls her eyes. But there’s still a smile on her face, like she’s fondly exasperated.“Do you think he likes you back, A-Cheng?” she asks, and he can hear by the tone of her voice that she’s trying to be careful with the question. Because what if he doesn’t like Jiang Cheng back? Well, Jiang Cheng decides, that if he doesn’t that’s okay. There’s nothing he can do about it anyway. Sure, it’s going to suck. And Jiang Cheng has a period of time to expect heartbreak. But the thing is, he’s been through it before and he knows that he can survive it. The heartbreak was bad, the feelings unfamiliar and unpleasant at the time. But he survived. He lived through it until he could truly live again. And he did. He lived, and he’s lived such a good life, requited romance or not.“I really don’t know. At this point I think there’s friendship between us, if I’m honest I couldn’t say if there’s anything else.” Jiang Cheng says. His sister rubs him on the back. Jiang Cheng wishes it would feel more like comfort and not like pity.“I can’t speak for him, but if judging by the way he looks at you, I think Lan Xichen has something other than friendship in mind.” Yanli says with a sly smile.Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath, he watches as Lan Xichen talks to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. How comfortable they are. For a moment he imagines himself tucked into Lan Xichen’s side, two couples sharing pleasant conversation. How odd. But also, somehow thrilling. He’s still not used to these feelings, not used to imagining himself in such romantic scenarios, so far removed from his normal experience. But while with everyone else it wouldn’t even occur to him, or would feel forced and unnatural, but imagining these things with Lan Xichen feels exciting. The difference is staggering.“A-Jie” Jiang Cheng asks his sister “have you been watching us?”Jiang Yanli chuckles, takes a sip of her drink from a straw.“I’m your big sister, I’m always watching you. Old habits die hard.” She teases.Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes but hugs her to his side. Little by little some aunts and uncles had taken their leave during the week. The crowd left to celebrate their last night was smaller, but the most fun bunch. Jiang Cheng’s parents had been surprisingly well-behaved during this whole week – which neither he nor Wei Wuxian had expected. But neither men were going to look a gift horse in the mouth and were nothing but thrilled that Jiang Cheng’s mother and father had kept the fights and bickering to a minimum. The Lans had all been as well behaved as could be expected by their graceful tribe and Wei Wuxian’s friends had been mostly pleasant and served to liven up the party with their diverse personalities. Besides Jin Ling and Wen Yuan’s brief disappearance a few days ago nothing had gone wrong. And the boys had been found just wandering around the area – as if nothing was amiss, probably just tired of being surrounded by boring adults all the time. Jiang Cheng is really happy that Jin Ling managed to make a friend, because Jiang Cheng himself knows the importance of friends – the importance they’ve played in his own life.He’s had a friend in his brother, almost his whole life – since the day he was adopted into their family when they were children. He’s had a friend in his brother’s taciturn boyfriend, now turned husband. Even though he’s not very verbose, his quiet support has always felt like a pillar of stability in Jiang Cheng’s life. Another rock to steady him. And he’s also had a friend in Nie Huaisang. When he met Huaisang all those years ago when they were just high school students trying to better their grades for college, he never thought he’d find a life-long friend in him. Nie Husiang with his stuttering, with his spicy manhua, with his complete disinterest in anything physical or academic besides writing. But Nie Huaisang with his never-ending patience and his openness and understanding ways, somehow along the way became Jiang Cheng’s best friend.Their eyes meet in the crowd of dancers on the busy dance floor. One last party before they all go home and resume their work or school or whatever it is they fill their days with. Nie Huaisang smiles at him. And excuses himself from whoever he was talking to to make his way over to Jiang Cheng.“The man is suffering” he says without preamble. Like Jiang Cheng is supposed to know whatever he’s referring to.“What are you talking about? Who?”“Who??” Nie Huaisang exclaims “Hmm, who is it we’ve spent this entire week talking about whenever it concerns you?” His smile is on the verge of sly, reminding Jiang Cheng of his sister. He wants to answer something else but there’s only one name that comes to mind.“Wei Wuxian?” Jiang Cheng says just to be contrary.“Jiang Cheng, don’t be willfully obtuse. It doesn’t suit you. Your Xichen-ge, of course.” Nie Huaisang says, can’t help winking at him.“He’s not mine.” Jiang Cheng’s voice comes out hard. Stilted.“But he could be.” Nie Huaisang counters. There’s such possibility in his voice. Such hope. Jiang Cheng wishes he had that kind of confidence. But he’s afraid that after what happened yesterday, him telling Lan Xichen about his feelings for him, and receiving nothing as a reply. No word of ‘I feel the same’ or ‘I understand’ or even ‘Let’s talk this through’ - he’s afraid Lan Xichen’s silence on the matter might be a bad sign. No matter what other people think about how Lan Xichen is looking at him, how they think he prefers his company or not.“I told him yesterday.”“You did?!” Nie Huaisang almost shouts. Jiang Cheng shoots him a quelling look.“Oops, sorry. Didn’t mean to shout. But I’m just so surprised! Jiang Cheng, you actually confessed your feelings??”“Yeah. I told him about 10 years ago. And nothing happened. We got interrupted by his uncle and then it just didn’t come up again.”Jiang Cheng fully expects Nie Huaisang to roll his eyes and say something sarcastic. Instead he nods thoughtfully and pats Jiang Cheng on the shoulder.“You could consider just bringing it up again. Don’t wait for something to come up naturally – this isn’t exactly a natural type of conversation for you. If you really want to know how he feels about you, I think you have to just ask.”There it is. The truth Jiang Cheng didn’t want to hear but that Nie Huaisang forced him to consider. At the end of the day, Jiang Cheng is still kind of a coward. When it came to his studies in the past he might not have been brilliant, but he worked hard and reaped the benefits from it. As he started working at Jiang Group he kept that same work ethic and kept at it until he knew every single part of the company and how it works inside out. When it came to running, he didn’t stop running after that one time. He kept at it, kept going longer little by little every day until he had achieved what he might have thought of as impossible in the beginning. Jiang Cheng has always been practical, hands-on and direct. And he supposes that if he’s going to find out whether or not Lan Xichen likes him too, he has to be direct about it. And for that to happen he has to be brave.Talking to Lan Xichen about his sexual and romantic orientation had been daunting, but necessary. Telling Lan Xichen about his feelings had been on a whole other level of discomfort. But Huaisang is right, the only way to find out is to brave the discomfort, be as direct as possible and just ask.He looks over at the crowd of dancers, spots Lan Xichen dancing with Wen Qing and shoots off, leaving Nie Huaisang without a word and heads over to interrupt the dancing couple.“You go get you man!” Nie Huaisang shouts at him. Jiang Cheng duly ignores it, is thankful that the music swallows up his words before anyone can hear them. Moments later he’s staring at Lan Xichen, who looks surprised at seeing him.“I’m sorry, Wen Qing, may I borrow Xichen-ge for a moment?”Wen Qing looks between the two of them with an expression of growing realization on her face. Thankfully she doesn’t say anything and just hands Lan Xichen over to Jiang Cheng.“Be my guest.” She says, trying to hide a smile but not quite managing it.Jiang Cheng decides to be brave once more and takes Lan Xichen’s hand in his and pulls him through the crowd and leads him outside. He lets go when they reach the doors leading out to the pavilion, he pushes the door open and then closes the doors behind them to make sure they have absolute privacy.“Walk with me?” Jiang Cheng asks and they take the little stroll down the side of the water feature to the pavilion at the end – as far away from the party inside the hotel as they can possibly get.Jiang Cheng is too nervous to sit, so he just stands there, awkwardly. Looking between Lan Xichen and the glittering stars in the sky.“Is there something on your mind, A-Cheng?” Lan Xichen asks, his hand slides down Jiang Cheng’s arm. The touch is warm, and it sends a little thrill through his body. Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath, steadies himself mentally, physically he’s rooted to the spot. In the end, he decides that being direct is, in fact, the best option for him, and just blurts it out.“You know how I said that I like you yesterday?”“You didn’t.” Lan Xichen says, eyes wide and lower lip a bit dropped as if in surprise. But that can’t be. This expression paired with Lan Xichen’s words right now, they’re not making any sense.“Yes I did.” Jiang Cheng says.“No you didn’t. You said you had feelings for me 10 years ago. As in past tense. I assume you don’t feel like that anymore? Do you?”Jiang Cheng is fucking stupid. He wants to literally facepalm. Or dive into the water feature. But he does neither. Instead he flushes, bright red, because now he really has revealed his true feelings.He clears his throat.“Hrm, well, eh..” he takes a breath, looks down at the ground for a moment, trying to stave off a stammer “What I wanted to say that day was that I liked you back then. And since meeting you here again, now, those feelings have kind of...come back.”“They have?” Lan Xichen looks stunned, his eyes are wide and glassy.Jiang Cheng nods, looking up at Lan Xichen from making excellent eye contact with the ground.“Jiang Cheng, that’s-”“No. Wait. There’s something else I need to tell you. Something that’s been bothering me and before you say anything else I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”Lan Xichen looks confused. “What could you possibly have done to warrant a forgiveness?”Jiang Cheng swallows hard.“I lied to you. Twice.”Lan Xichen pauses. “Oh?”“First of all, I lied about not having kissed anyone.” Jiang Cheng says guiltily. He wrings his hands as he squirms in place. “Secondly I lied about not remembering kissing you.”Lan Xichen draws a surprised breath. “You remember that?” But opposite to what Jiang Cheng expects Lan Xichen doesn’t pull away from him, instead he draws closer. So close, in fact, that if Jiang Cheng were to lean in just a little bit their lips would be touching right now.Jiang Cheng sighs again, knows his breath is fanning Lan Xichen’s lips. “I remember it” he says looking into the older man’s eyes. “I lied because I was embarrassed. But also because I felt sorry that I did that to you without your consent. I just went ahead and did it. Without thinking. Without thinking of how you would feel about it. I hated myself for it.”“Don’t!” Lan Xichen says, he sounds firm. “Do not hate yourself for that.” His words, he seems so certain. “Trust me, Jiang Cheng. If I had not wanted it to happen I would have turned away. It would have been easy.”“You…?” Jiang Cheng doesn’t understand “You wanted to?” His head is spinning right now. Is he hearing this? Has he somehow slipped into his imagination? Is he dreaming?But Lan Xichen doesn’t negate it, doesn’t take it back, doesn’t seem anything but 100 percent real right now in front of Jiang Cheng, with his dark doe eyes and gentle smile.“It was the way you looked at me that made me curious about how your lips would taste. How soft they would be…” Lan Xichen says, his voice dark and quiet in the space between them, he looks at Jiang Cheng’s lips for a moment while the words pour out of him and Jiang Cheng thinks he’s definitely dreaming.“Ever since we met again at our brothers’ wedding I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. You’d blossomed so handsomely. Something about you that night made me consider kissing you. You were so cute, even as a drunk.” Lan Xichen actually chuckles at the memory, smiling fondly at Jiang Cheng.Jiang Cheng feels nothing more than embarrassment and shame at those last words. Thinking back to how he behaved, how he threw up in a potted plant, for fuck’s sake. How much of an angel must Lan Xichen be to find that cute?? But all of these thoughts are overridden by the pure astonishment of what Lan Xichen is revealing to him right now.“I was cute?”“You were. Exceedingly.” He murmurs. Something darker coming over his tone of voice.“We had a moment, didn’t we? Where we both felt something.” Lan Xichen asks.Jiang Cheng nods in response. They did. Only Jiang Cheng had thought the moment had been one-sided until now.“So don’t feel bad about kissing me. Because I wanted to kiss you too.” Lan Xichen says, looking at Jiang Cheng in such a tender way, he reaches up his hand to Jiang Cheng’s cheek. His thumb swiping over his bottom lip, making it loosen, give to his touch. Is this all still a dream? Lan Xichen’s eyes are fixed on Jiang Cheng’s lips again and something is burning inside of Jiang Cheng, something that is lighting all of his nerves on fire.“In fact, I still want to.” Lan Xichen says, his voice is so, so dark. Jiang Cheng shivers.And then they’re kissing. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know who leans in first, maybe it’s the both of them, but their lips slot together softly. Lan Xichen’s lips are a little bit cold from the evening chill. But it’s all good, Jiang Cheng has a good mind to warm those lips right up. He tastes sweet, like the clear honey lip balm he uses and Jiang Cheng can’t get enough of him. Their lips slide together, softly, wetly exploring. There’s a lot of pouting, Jiang Cheng realizes, to make a kiss work and a whole lot of teeth in the way– but he’s more than willing to keep trying. A warmth explodes in his chest as Lan Xichen’s lips respond to him, caressing his with their plush softness. His hands are trembling, his body is practically buzzing as Lan Xichen pulls Jiang Cheng in by the waist to fit their bodies as close together as they can right now. It feels nice.The kiss is wet and kind of weird, but if feels good. A good kind of weird that Jiang Cheng surely could get used to. He enjoys the way Lan Xichen’s lips press against his, carefully at first, and then more boldly. Nipping at his upper lip with careful teeth. But oh. Those teeth were not unpleasant. It makes something in Jiang Cheng’s stomach flip. He likes that. When Lan Xichen’s tongue runs teasingly at the seam of Jiang Cheng’s lips he lets out an embarrassing whine, because never in his life did he think a tongue would feel that exciting. It gets worse when Jiang Cheng opens his mouth a little more, hoping to receive more of that enticing tongue and that is just what happens. Lan Xichen licks into his mouth, softly, carefully seeking out Jiang Cheng’s tongue. Jiang Cheng responds with a careful lick then withdraws, closing his mouth and kissing Lan Xichen closed lipped.“Is this okay?” Lan Xichen asks. His eyes are so much darker than before, his pupils are blown wide, and his lips are so red. Jiang Cheng hasn’t seen anything like this before. Never something so beautiful or devastating at the same time.“Oh yeah” Jiang Cheng whines breathily “please do it again.”Lan Xichen chuckles before crashing their lips together again. This time he uses his tongue after the first kiss, and he makes a dark (decidedly horny) sound, to Jiang Cheng’s ears when he feels Jiang Cheng respond with his own tongue. His hands automatically find their way into Lan Xichen’s hair as they kiss. And Lan Xichen’s hands are pressing Jiang Cheng’s body closer to his. They stay like this, kissing and touching each other, for some time, Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how long, it’s like time stands still or it’s moving in rapid speed all around them all at once. Jiang Cheng can feel his heart beat fast and steady in his chest, and he’s a little bit afraid he’s going to get hard if this continues any longer. When Lan Xichen pulls him in closer still, he feels the startling reality of Lan Xichen’s own hardness against his thigh. Shit.Jiang Cheng pulls away with a couple of pecks to Lan Xichen’s closed lips.“Well, I can safely say I like kissing. Or, well. At least I can safely say I like kissing you.”Lan Xichen laughs. “Well, good, because I like kissing you too, Jiang Cheng.” Fingertips brush against his cheekbone.“I’ll probably regret asking, but was I...a bad kisser?”He’s 28 years old and this was his first real kiss. Not the press of lips of a week ago. This was definitely, full on, making out. And maybe Jiang Cheng is feeling a little bit insecure about it.“Jiang Cheng. You do realize I got hard just kissing you, right?”Those were words he never thought he’d hear coming out of Lan Xichen’s lips. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know if he should feel more proud or embarrassed. His face chooses to color anyway.He clears his throat. “I eh...yeah.” he says, doesn’t know if he can really vocalize how he felt about the other man’s hardness against his leg. Still doesn’t know exactly how he feels about it.“Do you think that happens to me often?” Lan Xichen continues.“How am I supposed to know that?” Jiang Cheng asks, probably looks as clueless as he feels because Lan Xichen just laughs, strokes his cheek lovingly.“Okay, fair. For the record, usually it takes a little more than just some kissing for that to happen.”“It’s kind of weird, that I can do that to you.” Jiang Cheng admits.“Is it too much?” Lan Xichen asks, tries to create some space between them, but Jiang Cheng won’t have it. He wants to be close, wants to be held. Even if the thought of another man’s dick being hard because of him is kind of registering as weird in his mind. Weird, but not unpleasant. Still, taking care of erections right now is a little too much too soon.“No” Jiang Cheng shakes his head. “But maybe we can try to take things one step at a time?”“Of course.” Lan Xichen says and places a chaste kiss on Jiang Cheng’s lips, his cheekbone, above his eyebrow.“By the way. If I somehow neglected to say it earlier, I like you too, Jiang Cheng.” Lan Xichen says, his pretty doe eyes shining at him, catching the shine of the stars in their darkness and reflecting their light.“You do?” Jiang Cheng asks, still feeling like this entire moment is kind of unreal.“I do. I like you very much.” Lan Xichen says, his voice is dark and Jiang Cheng wants to kiss him again. He decides however, that considering how caught up they got last time that that would be a bad choice right now seeing as they sooner or later have to join the rest of the party and say good bye to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji and well, their entire family. So instead they spend some time just talking, keeping bodily distance until Lan Xichen has calmed down. Jiang Cheng still thinks it’s crazy that he could do that to him. They hold hands out there in the pavilion murmuring things to each other. Jiang Cheng is so terribly smitten. * * *

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

At the end of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s celebration night, the two gather their guests at the hotel lobby to say good bye. Everybody take their turns wishing the couple well and to have a good time on their round-the-world honeymoon. Yeah, as if a week-long family celebration wasn’t enough, the couple are also taking tours to visit different countries around the world on their three month long honeymoon before they settle back into their new home at the Cloud Recesses. Their house being coincidentally a five minute walk from the Lan family home. Jiang Cheng had imagined that Lan Wangji would have protested against such lavish spending and time away from home, but on the contrary when speaking to the newlyweds it seems like Lan Wangji is more than happy to splurge some of his fortune on a new home for him and Wei Wuxian, and he also seems eager to have so much time to spend with Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian only. Jiang Cheng denies any maudlin emotions stirring in his chest at seeing his brother with the widest smile yet as he hugs him close and tight when it’s their turn for the farewell.“Hmm. I noticed you and Xichen-ge looking awfully close when you came back from your little private talk. Are you guys...” Wei Wuxian looks between Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen (who is standing some distance away now) with curious and excited eyes.Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes and sighs.“Shut up.”“OH MY GOD!!” Wei Wuxian exclaims, bringing attention to the two of them.“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng hisses. “Look, nothing’s official yet. It was just a kiss and literally I don’t even know how this is going to turn out yet, so please please don’t make a big deal out of it.” Jiang Cheng whispers into Wei Wuxian’s ear so that no one else will overhear them.Wei Wuxian squeals and jumps in place but doesn’t say anything incriminating. Some people wonder what in the world could prompt such a reaction out of Wei Wuxian, others are used to his antics and don’t give the sound any more attention than a glance and a shrug. Nie Huaisang bounds over from where he was talking to Wen Ning at hearing Wei Wuxian’s exclamations.“What did I miss?” he asks looking just as excited as Wei Wuxian, looking between them as if expecting certain news. Wei Wuxian leans over and whispers something in Nie Huaisang’s ear, and Huaisang has the exact same reaction as Wei Wuxian did. Squeals and jumping. There is a moment when Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang are jumping together like little girls, and Jiang Cheng is just looking at them incredulously.“You guys are so embarrassing. I can’t believe I’m 28 years old and my two closest friends are painful embarrassments.”“But we’re your embarrassments.” Wei Wuxian says confidently. As if that’s something to be proud of. Meanhwhile Huaisang just utters an offended “Hey!”Leaning in to Jiang Cheng for privacy from the rest of the party Nie Huaisang says “You don’t understand. We’ve been waiting for this moment for 10 years. This is great news, Jiang Cheng!” Nie Huaisang smiles wide and genuinely happy at Jiang Cheng who can’t help but to melt a little at that.Wei Wuxian gasps. “Is that a smile I see, Jiang Cheng?”Nie Huaisang mimics his gasp.Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, but he is, indeed smiling. “You guys are so dramatic.”Without further ado Jiang Cheng pulls Wei Wuxian in for a hug again.“I am going to miss your dramatic ass, though.”“Aaaw” Wei Wuxian coos. “I think getting together with Xichen-ge is making you softer, Jiang Cheng, I like it.” He pinches Jiang Cheng’s cheek to which Jiang Cheng bats his hands away and grumbles sourly.When Wei Wuxian pulls away he hugs Nie Huaisang just as long.“You better keep me posted on what’s happening between Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen.” he says to Huaisang.Jiang Cheng just lifts his hands up in the air as if to say ‘am I even here?’.“Don’t worry Wei Wuxian. I’ll keep you posted.” Nie Huaisang answers. “And don’t worry about this one. I’ll make sure he’s not screwing anything up while you’re gone.” He jokes.The three of them laugh. Huaisang and Wei Wuxian at the joke, and Jiang Cheng at the fact that it’s usually the other way around. Jiang Cheng looking after his brother and making sure he’s not ‘screwing things up’.“Seriously though. Take care of each other.” Jiang Cheng says when Lan Wangji comes over to them, his brother beside him.“We will, I promise.” Lan Wangji says. Jiang Cheng sees at the corner of his eye how Lan Wangji’s hand slips into Wei Wuxian’s and they smile at each other. The moment is fond and intimate. Jiang Cheng takes comfort in the words. A promise from Lan Wangji is a promise kept.Lan Xichen stands himself next to Jiang Cheng when the newlyweds enter the car outside the hotel that will drive them to the airport. They wave good-bye to everyone as they enter the car and Jiang Cheng stands there waving them good-bye next to Lan Xichen. It’s bittersweet.He knows they’ll just be gone for a few months, but Jiang Cheng has never been away from his brother for more than a few days at a time. He hopes they’ll have a good time while they’re away but that the time will pass fast for Jiang Cheng. Having one sibling living so far away had been hard enough, having both of them gone isn’t something he wants for an extended amount of time.When most of the guests have gone back to their rooms, presumably to collect their things and check out, Lan Xichen stays with Jiang Cheng in the lobby. It’s just the two of them and Jiang Cheng feels Lan Xichen’s hand slip inside his.“How could you stand leaving Wangji back when you moved to London? Just this is hard for me.” Jiang Cheng admits. Doesn’t know if he’s ever admitted to something this maudlin and vulnerable in his entire life.“It was not easy.” Lan Xichen says, squeezes Jiang Cheng’s hand in comfort and in an act that puts a blush to Jiang Cheng’s cheek he then brings that same hand up to his face and puts it to his lips. While holding eye contact. Jiang Cheng is frozen to the spot. Is this how it’s going to keep on being from now on? Jiang Cheng being shocked and wrecked by every single thing Lan Xichen does?“The first six months were torture. I video called Wangji so many times he was probably sick of me.”Jiang Cheng chuckles. “I seriously doubt that.”“Hm? Why?” Lan Xichen asks with a soft smile.“Because I can’t imagine anyone being sick of you.” Jiang Cheng answers truthfully.For some reason it makes Lan Xichen look stunned. Like he hadn’t expected that answer. Jiang Cheng doesn’t really know what was so surprising about it. But it makes Lan Xichen smile wider and pull Jiang Cheng in by the waist for a kiss. Just a soft press of lips that has Jiang Cheng’s heart fluttering.“Hey lovebirds~” a familiar voice calls from the elevators. Jiang Cheng breaks away from Lan Xichen to stare wide-eyed at Nie Huaisang.“If you want to keep this little thing to yourselves, then I suggest you untangle from each other because Jiang Cheng’s parents are coming down right now.” Nie Huaisang winks.“Right. Thanks A-Sang.” Jiang Cheng says and stands an appropriate distance from Lan Xichen. Nie Huaisang joins them so it looks even less suspicious. It’s not that Jiang Cheng wants to hide Lan Xichen from the world or anything. Just from his parents. Because he honestly doesn’t know how they’ll react to another one of their sons dating a Lan. But he does know that things being this new between them, he doesn’t want to find out this very moment.To Jiang Cheng’s surprise Lan Xichen seems to look a little bit disappointed by the distance between them and is honest to god pouting. Jiang Cheng is devastated. He didn’t know Lan Xichen could pout!!When his parents come down from their room with the luggage, Lan Xichen is the picture of the perfect and polite gentleman. He carries both parent’s heaviest luggage and deposits them inside the trunk of their car, to the utter surprise of Jiang Cheng’s mother who can merely thank him and stare in wonder. His subtle compliments to her dress and accessories do not go unnoticed, or unappreciated. She accepts his kindness with an approving smile. Jiang Cheng has yet to receive that smile himself.As for Jiang Cheng’s father, Lan Xichen seems to know just the thing to say to make the man nod in agreement and pat him on the back. Jiang Cheng is speechless. He himself only receives a few mildly scolding words from his mother, a lifeless “cheer up” from his father – Jiang Cheng assumes he looks sad, or why would his father even tell him to cheer up?Jiang Cheng’s mother elbows her husband and shoots him a meaningful stare.“Your sister is leaving with her family soon. Are you sure you don’t want to come with us back to Yunmeng, A-Cheng?” his father asks. Jiang Cheng gets the feeling that he wants him to say no. But as luck would have it for the both of them Jiang Cheng had already decided on what to do.“I have a couple of more days of vacation. I’m just going to stay here and then come back to Yunmeng on Monday. Besides, my car is still here. I’ll have to drive it back anyway.”“As you wish” his father says, giving up easily.“I do hope you’re not being a nuisance to Lan Xichen-lǎo shī?” Jiang Cheng’s mother asks sharply.“Mrs. Yu. I will be honored if Jiang Cheng will stay with me. I have a few days left of vacation too and no one to spend it with.” Lan Xichen says, smiling his most gracious smile at Jiang Cheng’s parents.They both look a little bit surprised, but the protests stop and they take their leave.“I think my parents love you more than they love me.” Jiang Cheng comments as the car drives away, to which Lan Xichen chuckles. They turn back to the lobby where Nie Huaisang has managed to wrangle all of his luggage onto a luggage rack.“How are you going to fit all of these in your car, A-Sang?” Jiang Cheng asks, incredulous.Nie Huaisang shrugs but doesn’t seem too bothered by it. “I’ll manage.”The three of them help Huaisang fit his luggage into his car, fitting them like puzzle pieces until they’re all inside.Lan Xichen gives the two of them some space moving over to greet a Lan elder a few paces away. Nie Huaisang hugs Jiang Cheng, “You had better send me cute date pictures or I’m going to hunt you down, Jiang Cheng.”Jiang Cheng just laughs, shaking his head at his friend. “You’re so aggressive when it comes to romance.”Nie Huaisang winks at him but is distracted mid-wink by someone he spots over Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.“Wen Ning.” He says and looks surprised to see him.“Nie Huaisang.” Wen Ning rushes over to them, looking like he’s got a million things to say but none of them want to come out of his mouth. He’s looking at Nie Huaisang as if Huaisang just stole his soul away from him. Jiang Cheng looks between them awkwardly.Kind, as he always is, Huaisang smiles at the guy looking lost and forlorn in front of him. “Is there something you wanted to tell me?” he asks. Jiang Cheng is torn between leaving them alone and staying perfectly still. If he doesn’t move maybe Wen Ning will keep on not noticing him.“Oh!” Wen Ning exclaims and reaches for something in his pocket. “Here” he says and hands a note to Nie Huaisang, looks at him pleadingly.“You’ve been so.. I mean. I’m so...I mean. Eh...just. T-that’s my number.” Wen Ning says.Jiang Cheng feels the most awkward he’s ever been just standing there. He should have left when he had the chance. But Nie Huaisang doesn’t seem to be thinking this is as awkward as he is, the way he’s smiling up at Wen Ning who is taller than Huaisang by half a head at least. It’s quite strange, seeing a guy who is tall, strong, Jiang Cheng knows him to be exceptional at martial arts, to see this guy be so timid and stuttering, especially around someone who does absolutely no sports whatsoever. In comparison Nie Huaisang looks confident and in charge. The two make an interesting pair to observe.“And what do you suggest I do with your number?” Nie Huaisang asks. He’s teasing. Jiang Cheng has heard it often, but never in this context.Wen Ning’s eyes shoot up like he’s been stabbed. But he calms down when he sees Nie Huaisang’s smile.“C-call me!” He says and then bites his lower lip, suppressing a smile and turns and leaves.Jiang Cheng turns to Nie Huaisang.“What the hell was that?” * * * “I take it Nie Huaisang knows about us.” Lan Xichen comments on their way back to The Cloud Recesses.“If he hadn’t known before Wei Wuxian told him, he would have when he caught us kissing.” Jiang Cheng says, still can’t quite believe that he’s been smooching Lan Xichen. And that Lan Xichen wants to smooch him back.“Wei Wuxian guessed at it and told Huaisang immediately.” Jiang Cheng sighs heavily. Lan Xichen chuckles, caressing his hand in between driving.“Sounds like him.”“He’s really excited, by the way” Jiang Cheng says, letting a thumb caress over Lan Xichen’s knuckles. “Strangely excited.”Lan Xichen chuckles again and takes his hand back to shift gears and take a curve up the mountain. “I’m glad I have your brother’s approval.”“And my best friend’s.” Jiang Cheng adds. “He’s demanding cute date photos.” He confesses.“Oh, is he?” Lan Xichen smiles, it’s wide and charming and Jiang Cheng feels his insides flutter. What a strange and exciting feeling.“Then let’s make sure we go on lots of cute dates so he can get what he wants.” Lan Xichen says as he parks the car outside the Lan family home and leans in to kiss Jiang Cheng softly, seductively.Jiang Cheng is pretty sure his hands are clammy and that his cheeks are blushing a deep red. * * * They’ve been alone before, spending time in the Lan family home by themselves a lot over the week, but this time them being alone feels charged in a way Jiang Cheng hasn’t ever experienced before. He doesn’t know what it is. Is it in the way Lan Xichen touches him, so naturally now? With his fingertips like butterfly wings to his hands, his arms, as he steers him to one side while he tries to go past him? Is it because of the way Lan Xichen looks at him, with eyes so dark and dazzling like twin starlit lakes at midnight, gorgeous bodies of water Jiang Cheng would love to drown in? Or is it simply the air between them? Thick with static that sends Jiang Cheng’s body tingling? He doesn’t know what it is, but he knows it’s there. It’s like something has shifted with the departure of their families and friends – and it’s making Jiang Cheng acutely aware of the fact that they are indeed alone and that anything could happen between them. When he was 18 he thinks he would have let it, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it. But right now, he doesn’t know why exactly, but though he really likes Lan Xichen he isn’t as ready to just jump in. He wants to make some things clear first.“Is there something wrong?” Lan Xichen asks him when he’s been staring at his food for who knows how long without actually eating anything. They’re having a late night snack in the kitchen, Jiang Cheng was the one who had a craving for ramen. Typical of him to lose his appetite because of his usual overthinking.“No...I’m. I’m fine.” Jiang Cheng smiles. Doesn’t know if he succeeds in looking genuine.Lan Xichen is looking at him with eyes that are less dark seductive pools of whatnot, and now more with some sort of concern.“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me about anything. What you think and feel is important to me.”Jiang Cheng wants to blush again. He doesn’t think he’s ever been spoken to like this before. Lan Xichen is open and earnest and Jiang Cheng feels almost a little bit overwhelmed by it. He doesn’t answer straight away. Lets that sentence sit between them for a few moments. He takes it in and then clears his throat, deciding to be brave.“I was just thinking...” he starts, takes a deep breath and holds it for a second “seeing as I’ve never dated before, I think there are some things about being in a relationship or dating or whatever that’s going to go a little differently than what you’re used to.”“Relationship?” Lan Xichen says and it sounds like a question. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know if it is. But his pulse thrums lightning fast in his veins in pure mortification anyway.“No, I mean – I didn’t mean that we are in a relationship. I meant like, dating? Or I mean. I don’t know if you want to be in a relationship-”“I want to.” Lan Xichen cuts off Jiang Cheng’s rambling, his voice firm but soft. Jiang Cheng shuts up. Stares at him wide eyed.“See...” Jiang Cheng croaks “we haven’t even talked about that. If we want to be in a relationship...I mean eventually.”“Jiang Cheng” Lan Xichen says his full name to emphasize his sincerity. “I want to be in a relationship with you.”Jiang Cheng’s heart soars. It’s currently residing with the angels in heaven. But despite his clear happiness and approval of Lan Xichen’s declaration he asks.“A-Are you sure? Because we haven’t even been on one date yet. And what if I’m awful at dating and you want nothing to do with me..”Jiang Cheng stops rambling when Lan Xichen starts laughing.“Dating is just spending time together.” Lan Xichen says “And we’ve done that a lot this week already. I know a week isn’t a lot of time but I’m very sure about you. I don’t see that changing any time soon, no matter what disasters befalls our dates.”“Oh.” Jiang Cheng is quite at a loss for words. But Lan Xichen is smiling at him, soft and just a little bit teasing.“To be clear, I didn’t mean I want to declare our relationship status right now. But if we are going to go on dates, you and I, Jiang Cheng, then I want to make sure you know that the end goal for me is to be in a committed relationship with you.”There has not been one day in Jiang Cheng’s life that he thinks he’s ever swooned. But this moment, Lan Xichen stealing his heart with his silver tongue might be it.“Yeah...me too.” Jiang Cheng says, his face is on fire. He tells himself it’s because the ramen are the extra spicy ones he brought from Yunmeng. Yeah, that’s definitely it.“Well, anyway. You know about me being aroace.” Jiang Cheng says, having explained beforehand what aroace stands for, he doesn’t bother repeating it, and Lan Xichen only nods attentively in understanding. “And then you must suspect that there are some things I haven’t...done with another person.” Like anything remotely sexual.Lan Xichen nods again, slowly, seeming to understand where this is going.“Seeing as I haven’t..yet.” Jiang Cheng for some reason has a hard time saying the words. “And it may take me some time to getting used to that part of a relationship. I don’t even know what I want and what I don’t want yet-”“Jiang Cheng” Lan Xichen’s dark voice cuts in. He sounds calm, reassuring as he puts a hand over Jiang Cheng’s. “There is no rush.”Jiang Cheng releases a breath he was holding.“I’ll take anything you have to offer. Be it your company, your heart or a random thought. I just want to be around you. The rest, we’ll figure it out together. And anything you want or do not want you can tell me, right? You’ll tell me if there’s anything I can do for you? Or if I’m overstepping any boundaries?”God, Lan Xichen is perfect. The angels themselves must be jealous of his inner beauty.“Right.” Jiang Cheng confirms. “I will. And you’ll tell me too, right?” Jiang Cheng figures, maybe he’s not the only one with boundaries. Maybe Lan Xichen has some of his own?“I will.” he confirms. Punctuates the statement by leaning over for a quick peck on the lips. Jiang Cheng blushes again. He wonders if it will always be like this? If he’ll ever stop blushing around Lan Xichen. Part of him wants to, because he wants to look cooler. But another part of him wishes it wouldn’t go away, because every time it happens, his heart stirs. Like little wings of a butterfly fluttering inside his chest. It feels so nice Jiang Cheng hardly has the words for it. *

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next morning Jiang Cheng wakes up to a sleepy looking Lan Xichen who is sat in his pajamas, hair tousled and reading a newspaper over a cup of coffee. His heart stops for a moment. This scene is so cute and domestic and he knows he’s had a lot of these during the week he’s stayed in the Lan family home, but now that they are dating this moment brings a whole new level of nervousness to him. Because now they don’t have a family gathering to rush off to every single day. Now, for a few more days it’s just the two of them alone all day long.It’s not like Jiang Cheng has suddenly developed some raw sexual attraction to Lan Xichen that can’t be contained, just because they’re dating. Sure, there is some sort of attraction, but exactly what that means Jiang Cheng doesn’t know. And maybe he doesn’t really care to label it. Jiang Cheng most definitely appreciates what Lan Xichen looks like, aesthetically. He’s objectively (and subjectively to him) a very handsome man. During the few days they spend together Jiang Cheng keeps looking at his lips. Is overcome with fondness with the older man when he does or says something heartwarming that makes him want to kiss Lan Xichen. He holds himself back from doing it so many times, until he reminds himself that, hey, Lan Xichen likes him back and probably doesn’t mind. He doesn’t. Every time Jiang Cheng initiates a kiss Lan Xichen looks pleased and he never turns him down.They go to coffee shops and take cute date pictures that Jiang Cheng reluctantly sends to Nie Huaisang. Husaisang always responds with a multitude of heart and cry emojis, is very vocal in expressing his deep approval. If Jiang Cheng hasn’t sent a picture in a few hours, Nie Huaisang sends him a threatening text, in complete contrast with his previous communication. But a photo of Lan Xichen wearing a pink apron and cooking something in the kitchen seems to appease his tumultuous mood and he’s once more happy and leaves them alone for a few more hours. Jiang Cheng is sure Nie Huaisang is sending said photos to Wei Wuxian. While Jiang Cheng himself is loathe to bother his brother on his honeymoon, he’s sure Nie Huaisang doesn’t have any such qualms.The weekend goes by too fast. Before Jiang Cheng knows it, it’s time to return to Yunmeng. The thought had occurred to him plenty of times since the day they confessed their feelings and kissed, but Jiang Cheng didn’t really want to give it any focus, instead he wanted to focus on the here and now of being with Lan Xichen and enjoying his company for as long as he can. But it is now the last day they have together and Jiang Cheng is wondering how they are going to navigate dating while living so far apart.They’re walking hand in hand through an art gallery, looking at the beautiful artwork and commenting on the paintings along the way. Lan Xichen seems to know what he’s talking about, speaking of brush strokes or whatnot. Jiang Cheng isn’t well versed in art terminology, or well, art in general. He doesn’t understand what a chair hanging in the air is supposed to symbolize, but he appreciates the colors of paintings of flowery fields and he loves being able to spend this time watching Lan Xichen be so enchanted with everything.There is a painting of two figures, seemingly walking along in the distance, muted colors and indistinct, but Jiang Cheng thinks they’re holding hands, it’s in the middle of looking at that painting when it comes to him, when he feels like he has to bring it up.“Xichen-ge.” He says, his tone is serious and it makes Lan Xichen look over at him attentively, seriously as well.“What is it A-Cheng?”“I’m leaving for Yunmeng tomorrow.”Lan Xichen nods, understands Jiang Cheng’s concern without him having to say anything further. He takes both of Jiang Cheng’s hands in his own.“What’s going to happen...with us..when everyday life starts again? I’ll be busy with the company, you’ll be busy with the school...”Lan Xichen sighs. “I don’t know exactly how everything will turn out. But maybe we can at least meet on the weekends? You are always welcome at The Cloud Recesses if you want to come visit me. Or I could come to Yunmeng if you’re not up for traveling?”“Do you really want to do long distance, Xichen-ge?” Jiang Cheng asks, doesn’t know what he’ll do if he receives a no. But luckily Lan Xichen smiles at him, reassuringly.“I do, for you.” He states, soft hands brushing over his knuckles. “I’ve really loved going on our dates, A-Cheng. And I’d love to go on some more, if you’re up for it?”Jiang Cheng wonders which Emperor he saved in a previous life to deserve someone like Lan Xichen. But for once in his life, he doesn’t let Lan Xichen see how desperate he is for him. Instead he leans in, swings their hands a little bit and smiles back at him.“I might be.” He says, proud of himself for showing restraint for once.Lan Xichen chuckles. The man knows, by now, how gone he is for him. Doesn’t doubt Jiang Cheng’s devotion. * So that becomes their arrangement. For fairness sake they decide to alternate every other weekend at Yunmeng and every other at The Cloud Recesses. Jiang Cheng loves being there and he doesn’t find the drive to be too long and burdensome. Even if it was, he’d make the time, bare the burden to be with Lan Xichen -for even just an hour.Jiang Cheng goes back to Yunmeng without much fanfare. He packs his stuff and Lan Xichen sees him off in the morning with long lingering kisses. There had been a lot of those during the weekend. Sweet pecks to cheeks and foreheads and cheekbones while cooking together or just lounging about. Long, lingering kisses, turning deeper as they cuddle on the couch. A tantalizing tongue that makes Jiang Cheng’s stomach feel like there’s some sparks starting up underneath his skin. Hands groping, feeling, lavishing underneath his shirt, turning his body into a boneless mass. Jiang Cheng had felt Lan Xichen harden against him, a kind of thrill going through him at the thought that he could turn this gorgeous man on with just a few kisses. But then as the kisses had gotten heavier, a little too heated, breaths coming in faster, hands kneading and seeking their way to forbidden territory, Jiang Cheng had always pulled away. Distinctly felt like he was not ready to move beyond what they were currently doing.He is aware of that he is essentially blue-balling his one and only crush. But whenever he turns apologetic, feeling bad about leaving the other man high and dry (and completely turned on) – Lan Xichen always stops him, tells him he never needs to apologize for what he doesn’t want to do sexually. Obviously Lan Xichen is a goddamn saint and Jiang Cheng is the luckiest man alive. He’s told him this much. But Lan Xichen has told him in turn “If it were me, and there was something I didn’t want to do, I would want that wish to be respected.”Jiang Cheng really feels at that moment that he couldn’t have fallen for someone better.During the weekdays Jiang Cheng works, as usual. And during the weekends he finds himself returning to The Cloud Recesses to see his boyfriend. As time goes on, Jiang Cheng discovers he prefers to go to him. As he takes the curvy drive up the mountains he feels like he’s ascending into heaven, every single time. The picturesque beauty of the land, the wonderful human being that awaits him there. It all feels a little bit like a dream. Weekends go by so quickly, Jiang Cheng feels like he could spend a lifetime with Lan Xichen and not ever be tired of him. The guest room set up for Jiang Cheng is rarely where he actually sleeps. They always retire to Lan Xichen’s room, and they always sleep close, nestled into each other’s embrace.It’s a few months into their relationship when things start to shift for Jiang Cheng when they are once more making out in bed. They go to bed, doing their nightly routine of washing up, brushing their teeth, putting on pajamas. Lan Xichen’s breath is minty fresh against Jiang Cheng and his arms are warm around his waist. He’s not yet sleeping, Jiang Cheng can tell by his steady breaths. So he gives his lips a peck. The corner of Lan Xichen’s mouth quirks upwards. Another peck and his boyfriend is smiling and opening his eyes. But before he can really open them fully Jiang Cheng leans in and presses his lips softly against Lan Xichen’s. Slowly, surely he coaxes Lan Xichen’s mouth open and when his tongue touches the seam of his lips he feels Lan Xichen open up fully with a gasp.Hands tighten around his waist as his tongue explores Lan Xichen’s mouth, his breath hitches when he feels his boyfriend respond with his own tongue, meeting him halfway. They’re close, so close, their bodies entwined, one of Jiang Cheng’s legs in between Lan Xichen’s as they’re laying on their sides, making out. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know what exactly does it, but he feels something is different this time, he feels some part of him shift and turn into a direction he’s never wanted to go before. He rolls his body towards Lan Xichen, feels the other man respond by holding him closer, as if if he tries hard enough they’ll meld into one. Jiang Cheng lets his body do the talking, he rolls his hips and feels Lan Xichen’s cock already hard against him. Instead of pulling away, the way he’s been doing for the past few months, he keeps going. Keeps rolling his hips and feeling that hardness brush up against his. When he hears Lan Xichen groan into his mouth, Jiang Cheng knows what he wants. His hands linger at the hem of Lan Xichen’s pajama bottoms, stroking the skin of his lower belly and up over a hipbone and then back again.“Fuck, baby” Lan Xichen says on an exhale, he looks delirious with want and pleasure and Jiang Cheng isn’t sure he’s aware of what he just said. Either way it sparks something in him that shoots like a lightning bolt from the pit of his stomach all the way down to his crotch. He loves the feeling of Lan Xichen’s hands on his ass. This is something they’d talked about beforehand, where Jiang Cheng is okay with being touched, and where he’s not. Jiang Cheng had been blushing the entire time. But it was a good talk, and Lan Xichen has never crossed a line.“You’re hard for me, A-Cheng. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt it before.”Jiang Cheng kisses him, hard and deep.“I am. All because of you.” He says, his own voice is dark.Lan Xichen opens his eyes, they’re like liquid gold, smoldering and hot and gorgeous.“Can I do anything for you, A-Cheng? Do you want me to touch you?”They had talked about this too. How it’s okay to ask. How Jiang Cheng had assured Lan Xichen that he won’t feel pressured if Lan Xichen asks just because they’re in an intimate moment. That having been discussed, this is still the first time Lan Xichen has ever asked.“No.” Jiang Cheng says. He’s firm and Lan Xichen seems to understand. But before he can pull away, Jiang Cheng strokes the soft skin of his lower belly.“But if it’s okay, can I touch you?” Jiang Cheng asks.Lan Xichen’s mouth falls open. His eyes are looking at him, wide like saucers in surprise.“Are you sure?”Jiang Cheng bites his lower lip.“I want to.” He says “I want to feel you in my hand. I want to see you.”That admission is probably the most intimate words he’s ever spoken. He thought he’d feel like a perv saying it out loud, but it just ended up sounding sexy somehow. Jiang Cheng has a hard time understanding it himself. And judging by the way Lan Xichen is losing his marbles right in front of him he must think it’s pretty hot too.“Is that okay?” Jiang Cheng asks.Lan Xichen swallows hard.“Yes.” he answers quickly. “Please.”It takes no more than a few seconds for Jiang Cheng’s hands that had been lingering at Lan Xichen’s pajama bottoms to hook into the waistband and pull them down. He’s naked from the waist down now and Jiang Cheng looks at the expanse of his boyfriend’s legs, his narrow hips and how his cock is lying flat against his stomach. Jiang Cheng feels himself twitch at the sight. Propped up on one elbow beside his boyfriend he carefully smooths a palm over the silky hardness of Lan Xichen’s shaft, then runs careful fingers down his much more soft and delicate balls. He hears Lan Xichen sigh softly. He doesn’t look at his face, though. He keeps his eyes focused on his movements as he grabs the member in his hand, loose fingers in a ring around his shaft. He watches how the glistening head of his cock, sticky with precum emerges again and again between his thumb and his index finger. Lan Xichen squirms beneath him, pants and moans replace each other as he seems to be finding more and more pleasure in Jiang Cheng’s touch.It’s hot. It’s definitely hot watching Lan Xichen come apart by his touch. Hearing his breaths grow heavier, his moans grow louder. His gaze, when he looks at Jiang Cheng, darker. He’s keening, almost begging when Jiang Cheng adds pressure and speed to his movements, watches how Lan Xichen thrusts up just a little bit, thrusts into his hand, thrusts his hard, leaking cock up until Jiang Cheng stills his hips with a leg thrown over him. Just a reminder to keep still. And then he keeps the same pressure going, the same speed, until Lan Xichen is keening. Jiang Cheng keeps going, fascinated by the man he’s pleasuring. Lan Xichen’s pajama shirt is open, he doesn’t quite know when he opened it, but it’s giving Jiang Cheng a glorious view of his entire body. And when he bends down to catch Lan Xichen’s nipple in his mouth, his tongue darting over the nub, he feels warmth spill over his hand – making the slide easier and the man beneath him cries out. Jiang Cheng watches how the cum shoots out of him, how it lands on his boyfriend’s belly, over his own hand. He keeps going, gentler, slower through the orgasm watching how Lan Xichen’s chest heaves with heavy pants, how his face contorts beautifully in pleasure. When he lets go, Lan Xichen pulls him up for a long kiss. Lips only.“Was that good?” Jiang Cheng asks. All in all, he just watched his boyfriend cum, so he figures he couldn’t have done that bad.“You are perfect, my love.” Lan Xichen says. Jiang Cheng wants to blush, but he doesn’t think he has the blood to spare, it’s all now being directed elsewhere. Much more down south. Lan Xichen holds him close, asks him again if he wants to have it reciprocated. Jiang Cheng says he doesn’t. He was fine with being the one doing it this time, but he doesn’t want to have it done to him. For now.They get up to wash off, then come back to bed, Jiang Cheng cuddled to Lan Xichen’s side and falling asleep with a smile on his face. * When the morning comes Jiang Cheng can’t quite believe that he’d just had his first sexual experience. It was pretty nice, but he thinks a lot of feeling that way hinges on that he distinctly wanted to do those things in that exact moment and also the person he was doing it with. If it had been anyone other than Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng would probably never have wanted to. He muses over how he’d definitely try doing other things with Lan Xichen sometime in the near future when his phone buzzes beside him.When he sees that it’s Nie Huaisang calling Jiang Cheng excuses himself from the room, not wanting to disturb Lan Xichen while he’s finishing up some paperwork in the living room. He walks out through the glass doors to the patio, the day is blessedly rain free, but seeing as it is now autumn the air is still pretty cold. Not enough for Jiang Cheng to freeze to death out there in regular jeans and a warm sweater, but definitely enough for his socked feet to feel the shock of the cold wooden planks.“What do you want?” He lets his brusque tone through.“Is that any way to greet your bestest friend in all the world?” Nie Huaisang asks, sounding offended, but also like he’s laying it on thick. He’s used to Jiang Cheng being brusque at times, by now. Usually those times are right before a meal.“Wei Wuxian hasn’t called me all day.” Jiang Cheng teases.A shocked gasp on the other end. “Jiang Cheng, don’t make me use my mom-voice you know how I don’t like to be stricter than I have to be.”“There’s just too many things for me to unpack with that sentence. One, you’re already using your mom-voice. Two, I haven’t seen you be strict with anyone or anything – yourself included, in your whole life.”He hears Nie Huaisang tsk on the other end and can picture his exact expression and the way he’s probably rolling his eyes at Jiang Cheng right now. He smiles to himself at that thought.“Wei Wuxian is your brother and close friend. Lan Xichen may be your boyfriend, but I am your best friend and soulmate. End of story.” Nie Huaisang decides.Jiang Cheng chuckles away from the phone so he won’t be heard, despite itching to tease Huaisang some more, he just hums, a non-committal noise that Nie Huaisang takes as agreement and then he’s quickly moving on to other topics. He seems to have a lot to say, calling as he usually does on their weekly catching up on each other’s lives. When they can’t see each other Nie Huaisang makes sure to call, always asking about Lan Xichen and sometimes asking to speak to him directly.This time Jiang Cheng doesn’t want to bother him when he’s busy with some paperwork he has to finish by the weekend. So he keeps the call between him and his best friend. Huaisang is talking about this and that, but Jiang Cheng knows there’s something that’s on his mind, by the way he keeps thinking of more and more things to divert to.“A-Sang. What is up, fancy pants? What is it you’re not telling me?” Jiang Cheng asks.There’s silence on the other end. Jiang Cheng waits him out.“How did you know that I was hiding something?”Honestly, Jiang Cheng is not very astute when it comes to things like that, but he’s learned the tell-tale signs over the years. Like behavioral patterns if you will. Whenever there’s something Nie Huaisang wants to talk about, but it’s potentially hard for him to do so, he stalls and talks about a million other things until he throws that one thing right in there.“You’re rambling.” He answers. He hears Nie Huaisang sigh on the other end. Then he gathers his breath.“So, I’ve sort of been dating Wen Ning...”“You dated Wen Ning?!” Jiang Cheng bellows out. Can’t help how utterly shocked he feels. He knows Wen Ning liked Huaisang while they were stationed at the hotel during Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s wedding celebrations, but he’d thought the feeling was one-sided.“I know what you’re thinking. It’s not like the other times. Wen Ning is so sweet, Jiang Cheng. He’s so respectful. He doesn’t pressure me to do anything at all. Really, he’s been amazing.” Nie Huaisang sounds almost pleading. Like he’s begging Jiang Cheng to like Wen Ning, to approve of him.“How long has this been going on for?” Jiang Cheng asks, knows he sounds like an angry dad, questioning his daughter about the new boy in her life.“It’s hard to say. At first he asked me out, right after we left The Cloud Recesses, but I wasn’t really ready to date anyone and so I turned him down, but I also told him I’d be okay with us just hanging out as friends.” Huaisang explains.“And he accepted that?”“He did.” Jiang Cheng can hear the smile in Nie Huaisang’s voice as he says the words.“He was so respectful of my wants and needs. He’s always been such a gentleman. As we started seeing each other more, I caught myself thinking maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I tried dating someone like him.” Nie Huaisang’s voice is calm and quiet. He sounds vulnerable. But not like he’s going to break. Jiang Cheng breathes a sigh of relief.“So I don’t know...our friendly hangouts started becoming something...else. Something charged and exciting...like a month ago?” Huaisang says, not sounding sure. Sounding like he’s thinking back.“A month.” Jiang Cheng confirms.“Around a month.” Nie Huaisang says. Takes another deep breath. Jiang Cheng waits for it.“Aaaand...” he continues on an exhale “I kissed him last night.”“You did what!?”“You should have seen his face, he was so shocked. But happy, obviously.” Nie Huaisang chuckles and completely ignores Jiang Cheng’s outburst.“You kissed Wen Ning??” Jiang Cheng is still kind of shouting. He looks back through the glass doors to see his boyfriend laughing at him, he turns his back to him again.“I did. It was nice.” Nie Huaisang confirms. “All those other times. Other dates. I haven’t really liked kissing. But I liked kissing Wen Ning. So, even if the thought of dating in general still doesn’t appeal to me, dating Wen Ning, and doing what we’ve been doing together – if I think of it like that, it’s more than fine. I even like it. I like him, Jiang Cheng.” Nie Huaisang reveals, still in that soft-spoken voice. Like he’s divulging a secret. Jiang Cheng supposes, he pretty much is.“Are you...do you feel...” Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to finish that sentence. Doesn’t intend to.“Do I feel romance for him? Is that what you’re asking, Jiang Cheng?” Nie Huaisang asks, his voice filled with laughter.“Um. Yeah.” Jiang Cheng confirms, sheepishly.“I don’t think I do. But I like him very much. Right now I don’t know what’s going or not going to happen between us. Right now it’s more like platonic dates, I guess? But where we are right now, it feels good.”“Platonic with kissing?” Jiang Cheng asks.“Well, kind of. There’s been one kiss Jiang Cheng. No sex. And there’s no romance from my part at least. So, queerplatonic, I guess?”A moment passes, and it’s clear Nie Huaisang is waiting for Jiang Cheng to say something. A verdict of some kind.“I’m glad. I’m happy for you, Huaisang. I really am.”Jiang Cheng really is happy to hear that Nie Huaisang feels good about this relationship, whatever it is. Whatever it means for him. Despite how much Jiang Cheng likes to tease Nie Huaisang, Huaisang is right. They’re best friends, family by now. No matter what happens in their lives, the two of them will always have each other’s backs and root for each other.“Thank you, Jiang Cheng~” He hears Nie Huaisang preen on the other end. Jiang Cheng looks down at his freezing toes and smiles. * * * Jiang Cheng doesn’t actually tell Nie Huaisang about his sexual exploration with Lan Xichen until the next time they meet, when Jiang Cheng can tell Nie Huaisang doesn’t have any big news of his own to share. Nie Huaisang shrieks like a pterodactyl at him for what feels like 5 minutes straight and then proceeds to ask all of the questions, appropriate and otherwise, some of which Jiang Cheng answers and some of which he doesn’t.He inquires about Wen Ning, because he thinks it’s only polite. But also because he kind of wants to know how Huaisang is feeling about the new development in their relationship. Huaisang still seems content. Smiling shyly when he talks about Wen Ning. And swooning when he describes him in detail. Nie Huaisang has always had aesthetic attraction towards others. Mostly that was the reason why he agreed to go on dates in the past. And he obviously has endless things to say about Wen Ning’s wide and strong shoulders. How his arms bulge when he wears short sleeved t-shirts when he’s training. How his eyes are so kind and big and beautiful. Jiang Cheng has heard all about Wen Ning’s beauty in minute detail, whether he wanted to hear it or not.One day Nie Huaisang brings Wen Ning along on one of their coffee dates, Jiang Cheng is a little taken aback at first, not having expected the other to be there. He does his duty as Nie Huaisang’s best friend, soulmate and unofficial family member to threaten Wen Ning with a beating to an inch of his life if he hurts Nie Huaisang in any way. Wen Ning looks wide-eyed and terrified at Jiang Cheng for a moment, only seeming to relax when Nie Huaisang pats his arm and tells him Jiang Cheng is only exaggerating, and then proceeds to scold Jiang Cheng for being too harsh. And then informs Jiang Cheng that his brother had already terrified Wen Ning enough with his own intimidating speech.Whatever. That Wen Ning guy will think twice before he even tries to hurt Huaisang in any way. Jiang Cheng is certain. That being said, he does have to admit to himself, in the farthest recesses of his mind that Nie Huaisang and Wen Ning do look pretty cute together. And over the next few months he doesn’t think he’s seen anyone look so besotted as Wen Ning does when he looks at Nie Huaisang. It’s Wei Wuxian crushing on Lan Wangji all over again. Disgusting. * * * Contrary to popular opinion Jiang Cheng has actually invited Lan Xichen over to his house at Lotus Pier and they have spent blissful weekends at Yunmeng together. They just happen not to have been as many times as the times Jiang Cheng has spent at The Cloud Recesses in Gusu. There’s something about taking the roads up to The Cloud Recesses that fills him with excitement. And he likes to be able to lessen Lan Xichen’s already busy schedule by making himself available to him in his own space, more often than not. Also, there’s something magical about The Cloud Recesses that keeps drawing Jiang Cheng over there. Not just Lan Xichen, but the place in itself. The tranquility of the mountains, the mist of the waterfall enveloping the land, the climate, somewhat chillier, a nice change to the much warmer Yunmeng. Jiang Cheng likes it all. He can imagine retiring there one day. He doesn’t know how they’re going to figure out the future. How they’re going to keep their relationship working through only meeting on the weekends and what that’s going to look like for them being in a long-term long distance relationship. But all Jiang Cheng knows is that they’ll figure it out somehow. Neither of them are inclined to end things over such a small detail as distance. Jiang Cheng has waited for Lan Xichen for over 10 years. He’s not going to let anything come between them now.Besides, after Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s honeymoon, they ended up moving back to The Cloud Recesses, into a house really close by the Lan family home, where Lan Xichen still resides. So now Jiang Cheng has even more reasons to visit Gusu.Coming home after a double date with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji on a boat ride to Caiyi Town, Jiang Cheng joins his boyfriend who has settled in to read on the couch. Jiang Cheng nestles himself deep into Lan Xichen’s arms, not speaking, enjoying just being held and the warmth of Lan Xichen’s body beneath him.It takes a few minutes for the question to pop up in his head. A mild curiosity that revolves inside his mind for a while. Another few more minutes and Jiang Cheng has to ask.“Hey, Xichen. Can I ask you something?”“Anything.” Lan Xichen says, kisses the top of Jiang Cheng’s head but continues to read.“When did you start falling for me?”Lan Xichen looks surprised at first, the question clearly taking him off guard. But he smiles and pulls Jiang Cheng in closer. He puts the book away, looks up at the ceiling in thought, then back at Jiang Cheng with glittering eyes.“Hmm. The first time I felt attracted to you was during the ceremony. When our brothers were getting married. You had grown into such a beautiful man. And I couldn’t quite take my eyes off of you.”Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how he can still feel heat rise to his cheeks after everything.“But I don’t think I fell for you then. It was a gradual thing, little by little you drew my interest. Every time you made me laugh. Every time you looked at me. A little love accumulated with every moment we were together until suddenly there was a lot of love.”Sometimes Jiang Cheng forgets how good Lan Xichen can be with words. It astounds him that he can take a relatively simple question and turn it into this thoughtful, heart-beat inducing answer.“Oh” is all Jiang Cheng can say, because he’s not eloquent and he’s feeling pretty stunned right now. Lan Xichen gives him a peck on the cheek.“When did you start falling for me?” Lan Xichen asks. He looks curious.“Oh, eh...it’s embarrassing really.” Jiang Cheng says, feels like he set himself up just asking this question.“Tell me” Lan Xichen prompts.“I think it was the moment we met.” Jiang Cheng wants to hide underneath the pillows, but he doesn’t. However embarrassing it is to talk about this, he wants Lan Xichen to know.Lan Xichen’s smile grows so wide and charmed Jiang Cheng can’t regret telling him. To see him smile like that, to have him know how easy it was to fall for him. He should know that, Jiang Cheng thinks.“I know it sounds silly, and most people would just call it an infatuation or whatever. But I think that’s true for me. When you said hello to me in that hallway outside of your uncle’s office I was done for.”Jiang Cheng thinks Lan Xichen will laugh at him, or chuckle at his silliness. But he does no such thing. His face is serious when he places two fingers underneath Jiang Cheng’s chin and leans down to capture Jiang Cheng’s lips with his own in a soft but very intimate kiss. Jiang Cheng swallows, feeling all but seduced.“Did you like me at all back then?” Jiang Cheng asks, against his better judgment. Because he knows the answer.“You were cute, A-Cheng. You’ve always been beautiful. But I saw you only as my brother’s friend. And mine.”That last addition makes Jiang Cheng feel better. At least their friendship wasn’t in Jiang Cheng’s mind. At least he had never been a burden to him, or made Lan Xichen feel like he had to spend time with him when he’d been over back then. It feels good to know that back then, at least in the friendship aspect of their relationship there had been reciprocation. Jiang Cheng didn’t know how much he needed to hear that until right now.And Jiang Cheng supposes that Lan Xichen’s heart having been occupied by another was part of why they could have never worked out back then. Jiang Cheng was too childish and rash at that age and would have probably ruined their relationship somehow. He figures, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that he suffered heart ache back then, because maybe that means that what they have now will last a lifetime instead?Lan Xichen hugs him tighter to his chest.“But I love you now, you know that, right? My love?”Hearing the uncertainty of Lan Xichen’s voice Jiang Cheng turns around in his embrace. Wraps his arms around Lan Xichen’s neck and smiles warmly at him.“I know you do.” He says, and means it without a shadow of a doubt. “And I love you too. Now, kiss me ge-ge.”At hearing the new nickname, Lan Xichen hums, the sound dark and low in his chest, his eyes turning just as dark. Lan Xichen was never one to deny Jiang Cheng anything, so he tightens the hold on Jiang Cheng’s waist and pulls him up for a breath-stealing kiss. <3