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"Oh no," Master Ouqian said, watching Ukoku stride across the lawn, pausing only to strike a match on the thigh of the statue of the Compassionate Goddess. "Bai, take all the novices on an extended hike. Make sure none of you are ever alone with the Sanzo-sama.""Yes, Master," Bai said, hurrying away."Sanzo-sama," Ouqian said, going to meet him. "You're back.""Yeah," Ukoku said. "I can tell you've missed me. God, this place is boring." He wandered off.After the kitchens had gone into overdrive, trying to produce something called French cuisine to be brought to the high priest's house, and Ukoku had cleaned the grime of travel away and decided he needed to inflict himself on Zenou at large, the masters and monks gathered in the prayer hall for a dharma talk."The multiverse, losers," Ukoku began, and that was the last any of them understood. Finally he got bored and just walked away mid-sentence."Ukoku-Sanzo," Master Xueze said, stepping out in front of him. "A moment?"Ouqian had always thought Xueze was a lot braver than he looked."What? I want a wank and some sleep.""A letter came for you. From Kinzan."Ukoku stared at him, then snatched the proffered message. He unrolled it, and took his glasses off to hold the tiny scroll close to his eyes, squinting myopically. His expression went completely still, like the air before an earthquake."When," he said calmly, "did this arrive?""While you were away, Sanzo-sama. It being from Koumyou-Sanzo direct to you, nobody liked to open it -""Fucking hell!" Ukoku screamed, and vanished with a thunder-clap."Do you think the gods of the Underworld have finally claimed him?" Shengong said, not very quietly."We can't possibly be that lucky," Ouqian said gloomily.At least Bai could come back.
