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“Oh my god.”
Donghyuck stared at the mess in front of him, not even fully through the front door.
His entire flat— destroyed. There were glass shards from picture frames and the nice vase he had on the table near the door all over the floor. His couch was ripped to shreds. His glass coffee table was shattered and the metal bent and broke. The nice carpet he had spent a pretty penny on was torn to pieces.
It looked like his worst nightmare. And he knew exactly who it was.
“Yah! Lee Jeno, get your ass out here right now!” Donghyuck yelled, stepping fully into the house, slamming the front door shut behind him, dropping his bag to the floor.
He wasn’t as mad as he should be, he knew that. But he was mad enough to have a temper.
Quietly, he heard the soft steps of paws and nails on wood. Surely enough, the whole wolf he had been fostering in his home appeared around the corner with his ears bent back and his tail between his legs.
Donghyuck made a big gesture to the mess that surrounded them, “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Jeno whimpered, carefully making his way around all the broken glass, sitting in front of Donghyuck and pressing his snout into the human’s stomach.
“You have an hour to shift back and tell me what the hell you did to my apartment— and then you have another 48 hours to replace everything you broke.” Donghyuck said, Jeno letting out a long winded whine.
Donghyuck huffed, brushing a hand through white fur, “An hour— and you’re cleaning it all up.”
With careful steps, Donghyuck made his way to his own room. His door that was normally shut was open and it was obvious that this is where Jeno had been laying before Donghyuck got home.
His bed had been turned into a nest and his dirty clothes basket had been dumped on the floor to make another, smaller nest.
He sighed, choosing not to say a thing about it before shedding his jacket and socks— wanting to be done for the weekend.
Donghyuck had met Jeno during their first year of college due to Donghyuck torturing himself by signing up for an 8am English course. Jeno had also been in that same lecture only he was okay with the horrid time— just not the material. He had only taken the English course as a lost bet against one of his friends and the rest was history.
The two of them had blossomed a beautiful friendship and even combined both of their friend grounds to make what Donghyuck liked to call his family.
It was during their third year that the two moved in together and consequently, Donghyuck learned the truth about his best friend.
Jeno was a werewolf, a wolf, a shape shifting being that can only change into a wolf. Whatever you called it. He wasn’t the only one either. Apparently, Donghyuck had a penchant for attracting these beings as his entire friend group (even Renjun and Chenle, the bastards) were all wolves.
Jeno had told him that they normally don’t do humans- him, Mark, Jisung, and Jaemin. Humans oftentimes made them sound like monsters or evil things that were gonna kill their children. Wolves weren’t a secret or anything but there was a big stigma about them. One Donghyuck had never known about considering he didn’t even know about wolves until Jeno.
But, Donghyuck was different. His ‘vibe’ was what made Jeno actually want to be around him, get to know him.
Now, two years after graduation, Jeno and Donghyuck had their own apartment together. They had their ups and downs but it had been great. They had game nights and ‘family’ dinners every weekend and Donghyuck couldn’t have asked for anything else.
The only thing that put a hole in the paper was that Donghyuck was still human after all. Unlike his friends, he couldn’t tell what they needed just by an action or how they felt based on scent. Sometimes, Donghyuck felt out of place. They were a ‘pack’ as all of his friends had referred to themselves as, including Donghyuck, but sometimes it felt as if he was invading their space.
Hence situations such as the one beyond Donghyuck’s bedroom door.
Donghyuck couldn’t help but think if he was a wolf- none of that would have happened. That he would have known Jeno was off (he was a great actor and Donghyuck was still trying to figure out all his tells after all these years). That he could have called into work and stayed with him to help with whatever he needed.
With a shaky sigh, Donghyuck covered his face with his hands. He could feel the tears pushing against his eyelids but he refused to cry. He had done his fair share of crying over things he couldn’t change and he was tired of it.
Did his friends know of his struggle? No. Was he ever going to tell them? No. Not even after he was dead (he wasn’t even going to start with that devastating tangent).
But Donghyuck is only so strong so it was only a matter of time before the tears started falling. He sobbed as quietly as he could into his hands, rolling over onto his stomach to instead cry into a more muffling surface.
He could hear Jeno scuffing about in the living room, the sound of a broom on wood and glass falling into the trash breaking the silence. It was slow and Donghyuck felt bad about making Jeno do it himself.
So, willing the tears away and grabbing his slippers, Donghyuck moved back to the living room.
Jeno looked up at the sound of footsteps and immediately dropped what he was doing.
Donghyuck sniffled, bringing his sleeve up to his eyes to wipe away the tear tracks (maybe even some tears that were still falling but he wasn’t going to acknowledge them).
“Hyuckie— I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—“ Jeno started, already in front of Donghyuck and holding the shorter boy’s face in his hands.
“I’m not crying about the mess Jeno, I promise, okay? I could care less about it, honestly.” Donghyuck cut him off, leaning into the touch— wanting to pretend he could smell whatever scent Jeno had.
“Then why are you crying?” Jeno asked softly, his white hair tousled and his own eyes red with old tears.
Donghyuck just shook his head, pushing forward to rest against Jeno’s front. The other took it in stride, wrapping his arms around Donghyuck tightly.
The two stood there for what felt like ages, wrapped in one another. Donghyuck grasped Jeno’s shirt tightly as the tears sprung to his eyes again and he couldn’t help but cry into Jeno’s shoulder.
“Oh, Donghyuckie.” Jeno whispered softly, and Donghyuck was sure that if Jeno could pull him any closer, he would.
“I need you to tell me what’s wrong, Hyuckie, I want to make it better—“ Jeno started, bringing his hand up to the back of Donghyuck’s head, brushing through his hair.
“You can’t make it better,” Donghyuck cried, pulling back from Jeno just to look at him face to face, “nothing can make this better— I just have to get over it, okay?”
Jeno looked pained at Donghyuck’s words— as if upset he couldn’t just take the pain away himself.
“Now come on, we have a home to clean.” Donghyuck took a deep breath in and released it, letting Jeno gently brush his tears away before during his attention towards the living room.
The clean up didn’t take too long with the two of them doing it— even if taking the couch out to the dumpsters was a hassle. It felt like a new start- Jeno and Donghyuck together, this time.
Most of their stuff didn’t come from either of them— the couch had been left behind and the coffee table was Jaemin’s old one he didn’t want anymore. The vase was easily replaceable and the photos could always be reframed. Sure, the carpet had been Donghyuck’s but it had been his since high school and there were more than enough mysterious stains on it to warrant a new one.
“I’m in rut— by the way—that’s why— you know— everything.”
Donghyuck blinked, looking over at Jeno who’s cheeks were bright red as they sat on their bare living room floor eating take out.
“Rut?” Donghyuck questioned.
There were a lot of things he still didn't know about wolves, even though he’s known about them for three years. The others have been trying to catch him up to speed but they often get distracted.
“No one has told you about ruts yet?” Jeno asked, incredulously as if he wasn’t just stuttering a storm over said word a minute ago.
“If it’s anything like the heats Renjun told me about- please for the love of god don’t use as many details.” Donghyuck begged. That had been the most scarring night of his life. His childhood best friend even had diagrams. Renjun had always been diligent, though, so maybe Donghyuck shouldn’t have been so surprised when it was Renjun of all people. Though— the
porn
was a
little
too far.
Jeno laughed, tossing his head back before shaking his head, “It’s like a heat but for alphas instead- so no slick or anything like that.”
Donghyuck grimaced but nodded, “Do you normally shift during ruts?”
Jeno pursed his lips and turned his head away from Donghyuck, playing with his food, “Not really— I only ever do it to make it easier but I should have thought more about doing it in a place my wolf didn’t know yet.”
Donghyuck frowned, but leaned over and brushed his hand through Jeno’s hair, “Do you not go into a haze like— what’s the name again— omegas?”
The other chuckled, letting Donghyuck keep playing with his hair as he explained, “Only if we’re either shifted or with an omega— it’s another scent thing sorry— but for alphas it’s more of just being perpetually horny for three days— most of the time it just depends on the person if their aggressive or submissive during those days though.”
Donghyuck hummed, bringing his hand back to himself to eat, “Why didn’t you tell me in the first place?”
Jeno seemed to freeze up at that, Donghyuck seeing his words rendering him motionless from peripheral vision.
The apartment fell silent, Donghyuck patiently waiting for Jeno’s response.
Time seemed to move like molasses before Jeno spoke up again.
“It’s just— sometimes I forget your human.” Jeno whispered out quietly, staring at the wooden floor.
Donghyuck couldn’t stop the heartless laugh that tumbled from his lips at Jeno’s words. It was so ironic that Jeno could forget that he was human. That’s all Donghyuck was ever reminded of— that he was only human. It was the only thing he could never forget.
At Jeno’s hurt expression— Donghyuck sighed and mulled over his words. He didn’t know how to phrase it- he doesn’t think he’ll ever know how to. He could never lie to Jeno— about anything. Donghyuck hadn’t planned to ever let it spill from his lips but here he was, about it let it do so willingly.
“I don’t know how you could forget— when that’s all I’m reminded of.” Donghyuck stared at the food in front of him- not wanting to look at Jeno anymore. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m just watching through a window— one that doesn’t open and will never open— all of you know things about each other that I will never understand and won’t get a chance to, every time I’m with you guys or even just you, I’m reminded of the fact that I’m human— so utterly disgustingly human.”
The warm press of Jeno’s palm against his back was the only thing keeping him from crying again. This topic always made him want to scream and cry— made him want to change everything about himself.
Jeno’s free hand slipped under Donghyuck’s jaw, cupping the left side of his face to turn his head towards him.
Donghyuck's eyes met the most pained expression he had ever seen on his best friend’s face when he finally gave up on resisting.
Jeno’s brows were furrowed together and his eyes glossy. He looked so entirely broken that it made Donghyuck want to take back what he said- made him want to lie to Jeno for the first time ever.
“Why didn’t you say anything? We could have-“
“Jeno, hun, there’s nothing any of you could have done— I’m not going to make any of you stop acting like you just because I’m insecure.” Donghyuck cut him off, turning his body towards the other, capturing the hand that fell from his back into his own.
Jeno seemed at a loss for words, his mouth opening and closing before shutting with a sort of begrudging finality. Jeno’s grasp on his hand tightened, pressing his forehead against Donghyuck’s as the younger let out a shaken breath.
“I’m going to figure something out— if I have to go get custom made perfumes of all our scents, I will. I’ll do anything to make you feel like you belong- that you aren’t shut away from us— you’re part of our pack. Nothing is ever going to change that.” Jeno said, every word sounding like a promise and Lee Jeno doesn’t break promises to Donghyuck. The same way Donghyuck would never lie to him.
Donghyuck let out a weak laugh, pulling back to stare Jeno in the eyes— a pair that looked more determined than ever.
“Jeno—“
“I’ll scent you even if you can’t scent me back, I’ll show you every single place a scent gland is, I’ll teach you every little thing to make you feel less lost— I would do anything for you, Donghyuck.”
And if there was anything about Jeno, it’s that he wore his heart on his sleeve. His eyes were round and filled with affection and love— something both of them had danced around far too often.
Donghyuck knew his own expression wasn’t much better.
“God— you’re going to make me start crying—” Donghyuck laughed wetly, bringing his free hand up to cup the one holding his face, “I just want to understand, okay? You don’t have to do anything that will hurt you.”
Jeno smiled softly and oh, the things it did to Donghyuck’s heart that was already beating a bit too fast.
“It won’t hurt if I’m with you, promise.”
Donghyuck couldn’t help it anymore and dove into Jeno’s chest, burying his face in the only scent gland he knew about so far. He had always avoided it because Mark and Jaemin had both told him scenting was a touchy thing— that he needed to avoid scent glands.
Jeno wound his arms around Donghyuck’s waist, pulling the other into his lap— their food laid forgotten.
And maybe it was his imagination, his feelings and heart running at an all time high, but Donghyuck swore he could smell a faint scent of clementines and mint leaves.