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My name is whatever you decideAnd I'm just gonna call you mineI'm insane, but I'm your baby (your baby)Echoes (echoes) of your name inside my mindHalo, hiding my obsessionI once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy

- Don't blame me, Taylor Swift

🌿💚🐍

⤿ jenny is intelligent and witty, tom is manipulative and cunning. as both are drawn deeper into the world of dark magic by their deepest desires, they must confront their own demons and make choices that will shape their and everyone else's destinies forever...

❝Love is the darkest poison after all...❞

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September 1st 1938

(First Year)
Jennifer sat at an empty table, looking around at the other kids, some seemed to already know each other, but others were standing there awkwardly and shy like her. She wasn't shy, per say, but she wouldn't go start conversation unless she felt an inate need to, and none of that arose as she sat there.She felt as if she should know those kids as well, her parents were quite popular in the school in their time, but they were probably far too old to know the other kids' parents. They were in their 40s already, even most of her cousins were at least 10 years older although there was some exceptions. She liked the older ones because they always had so much to share and she felt like she knew a lot about Hogwarts, even having never been there. They knew so much, so little and so vaguely about the world. She asked whys to her parents and she quickly realized they weren't welcomed so she asked the other members of her family. The sad part was that they never wanted to play dolls with her, but she managed by herself.Ultimately, Jennifer wasn't used to being with other kids. Couldn't remember last time she stood next to a kid her age. School was usually a hired tutor in her house, alone with her. She'd have more luck conversing with the Seventh Years, she realized, but no way she'd come up to anyone in that year. They definitely didn't want to see, much less hear of a First Year.It had been such a busy day she could hardly comprehend her thoughts. Her mind only kept replaying the moment her parents dropped her off.Her parents had told her, “behave, Jennifer, first impressions are strong.” She didn’t understand why because she didn’t remember the first time she saw most people in her life, she just knew they were hard to please. They also told her to not talk back to any of the adults, and to always mention her family name when suitable, she understood that part. The whole conversation was engraved in her brain, would be for most of the First Year, she was sure. Most specifically the part where her father leaned in to kiss her on the forehead and said, “good luck, sweetheart.” Then, her mother snorted which was usually accompanied by a roll of eyes.She told her father,  “she's growing up, Hurbert, she needs to understand luck doesn’t exist. As long as she behaves properly nothing bad will happen,” she turned to Jennifer then and her jaw slightly clenched, “besides, she knows bloody well what would happen if she didn’t behave.”Her dad carressed her arm as he nodded at his wife. “It’s her first day, don’t be harsh on the girl.” Margeret, her mom, rolled her eyes at him and started looking around to find other parents to talk with. They all laughed very loudly. Her dad stayed with her until the train arrived, telling her about his first day. Jenny was so nervous she barely heard anything. Then he was waving at her, peacefully and with a smile, her mom’s lips slightly turned up, but it was never quite a smile. The doom settled as she realized that'd be the last time she saw him for a few months, she didn't feel responsible enough for that. She needed more time.She had been quiet all ride. Said hello to the kids that greeted her, it was hard remembering what the names were, her mom had taught her all about the most important ones and she smiled more brightly at the ones that rang a bell. Lestrange, check. Fawley, check. Avery, check. Every kid was behaving so... wildly. But as she observed and observed,there was certainly one kid that stood out the most for her, one that wasn't making a big deal out of anything, he simply stood there, looking at everyone. She thought that maybe his parents told him to behave too. His hair was dark brown and shiny, his eyes brown — or maybe green, she wasn’t sure, overall he didn’t look bad. Eventually, he caught her staring and shot her a glare that made her widen her eyes. That wasn't very nice. Instinctively, she got out of her chair haughtily and walked toward him. “Excuse me. Why did you look at me like that?”Her voice annoyed him, it was high-pitched and girly. Maybe he could break her arm when they were alone in the school or put a spider in her food. He knew pretty girls were scared of almost anything.“It's disrespectful to not answer back,” she stated, straightening herself. He was annoying her. She stood like an adult, great posture and lean. Her hair was blonde and wavy, stopping at her shoulders. Her eyes were blue and pierced through as he could easily see her pupils. She'd last a day before breaking if she stepped foot on the orphanage he came from. “You look posh,” he stated, looking away from her to the empty seat in front of him.She gasped and took the seat he was looking at. “I don’t see how that’s an insult.”“You don’t, do you?”Jennifer knew his words were condescending, it made her mad. She hated when her parents talked down to her, she usually had to keep herself still until she could go to her room and hit her pillow repeatedly. There were no pillows there.“Your parents must spank you every day,” she let out, she wasn't sure why, something about him brought out honesty from her.“Do yours?” he queried, raising an eyebrow.Jennifer looked down as she tried to blink away the memories he caused. “What else would they do when I misbehave?” she wondered. Her mom did more than spank her, she used magic to torture her, made her relieve dreams, and made her live them in detail. It always left her crying and in her dad's arms. He shrugged.She sighed. Maybe he wasn’t being mean, he was probably just nervous about being away from his parents. “I'm Jennifer Garrick,” she introduced, “my parents call me Jenny.”He hummed in agreement. “I'm Tom Riddle, my ― people call me Tom.”Jennifer chuckled. “Nice name. Riddle sounds funny. Tell me a riddle, Riddle.” He looked at her with darker eyes than before. “Sure.”Her mom warned her to not make jokes, they weren't necessary, they were stupid, just like her. She cleared her throat as if to erase her previous words. “I'm probably getting into Slytherin, my family has been there for generations.” She leaned back on the seat and smiled at him.Tom hummed again. “Good for you.”“It is, you see, Purebloods are known for getting into Slytherin,” Tom looked at her in interest, “they're the best... cunning, ambitious ― better than stupid Muggle-born kids, those are a threat to our world ― that's what my mom always says, she's probably right ― it makes sense. Why would those unusual creatures even acquire magical powers? Stupid.”“You like the word stupid, don’t you, Garrick?” he wondered. She ignored the way his question sounded. It was the only word her mum didn't consider unproper.Her mother always spoke about how Purebloods were the only real witches and wizards, the good ones. She said their world was infested with Mudbloods who shouldn't even exist in the first place. She wasn't sure she agreed, she didn't have much say really, but it sounded good enough to make her seem right. Jennifer just imagined that Mudbloods were different, they probably knew nothing about manners, and were dumber ― her cousin, Wanda, had said they weren't bad, but her mother was older so knew best.Jennifer raised her hand to put her hair behind her shoulder but remembered it was shorter. “Do you like my hair?”He looked at her hair and wasn't sure what to say, she had short blonde hair with nearly perfect waves that stopped at her shoulders. How did people evaluate hair?  “Looks nice.”“My mother cut it, she said it would make me look more... ladylike,” she told, “I think that's stupid.”He never thought he would be talking about hair. He had cut the hair from girls that annoyed him, Jenny was starting to become a candidate. “Well, you can always grow it for the next months, maybe she'll like it when you come back.”She nodded. “I'm sure she will just force me to cut it again.”He wished she would stop talking to him. “Sure.”She looked out the window again to enjoy the view. As she did Tom noticed a dark mark on her neck, a few, he recognized as finger marks. Had someone choked her? There was a weird feeling on his chest for half a second but it went away so he didn’t question it. He hoped he never saw her again.But, of course, later as the Sorting ceremony took place Tom rolled his eyes as Jenny was instantly sorted into Slytherin. He smiled as he was too, but was yet to know why it felt so important to him, he knew nothing about the Houses or Hogwarts, he'd surely try his best to learn before anyone realised, though.
November 09th 1943

(Sixth Year)
Jennifer groaned as the professor ended the class. It was a happy groan, though. She was tired of the year and it had barely begun, she wanted — needed to leave Hogwarts, but she didn’t even know what she’d do when that happened. She just wanted to have a job, leave her mother’s house, and start a life of her own. She wasn't sure if she even cared about being a witch, it was cool of course, she was a remarkable one, but it was such a monotonous life, she didn't wanna be like her mom.Everyone started packing up and she threw her head back as she sighed. Her eyes were closed momentarily as if closing them hard enough would make 5 years pass. Did she even want that? The wish also gave her anxiety. The sound of a book closing made her lean forward and open her eyes again. She looked up and glared at who closed her book.  “That class was so boring,” she whined.Tom let the corner of his mouth twitch but didn’t smile at her. “I liked it.”Jennifer tilted her head as she bit her lower lip. “You like odd things.” He looked away from her. “You’re odd and I don't like you,” he muttered and pushed her stuff towards her so she would pack them.She scoffed. "You love me."He rolled his eyes at that. “Let’s go to the library, we have that group work to finish.”“Yes, group work.” She started packing her things, putting them inside her bag without much thought. She was too tired to pretend to be proper.“What’s that supposed to imply?” he asked in a sarcastic tone. “You’re saying I don’t let you do any work? You must be so upset about that, Jenny.”She got up and pulled the chair in. It felt better to be at eye level with Tom — well, almost eye level. “Upset isn’t the word I’d use, Tommy.”He chuckled and she smiled because she rarely got to see his real laugh, it happened more often lately, but it was still considered rare. “Don’t call me that.”They both left the classroom and started walking towards the library, most people were going to the common rooms, happy that the day was over. Not them, though. Tom had a peculiar interest in learning and knowing more, those days he seemed to be searching for something specific, Jennifer could see his mind was always racing. She felt he was pulling her in with him, even though she had no idea what he thought so much about, or she liked to tell herself that she didn't.“Why? Is that nickname reserved for your new girlfriend?” she taunted, their elbows brushing each other as his walk faltered.“Jennifer,” he said in a warning tone. “Tom,” she mimicked his tone.“She’s not my girlfriend just because we kissed once,” he went with, his pace increasing as they walked up some stairs. She scoffed at that. "As my mom would say, kids these days..." “And she kissed me more than I kissed her,” he continued, ignoring her.“How does that even work?” she shrieked. “And, that’s not what she’s been saying, Tommy.”He glanced at her for a second before shaking his head. “I don’t care what she says, it’s kinda good for my reputation to have a girlfriend anyway.” “Is that all she is to you, Tommy?” she mockingly gasped as they walked inside the library. As always they walked to a place further in the back. “Is that how you treat all the girls you kiss?” she continued when he didn't answer her. Tom put his stuff down and when he looked at her she gulped. She knew that look. She put her stuff down as well and didn’t move away even though her heart was beating hard against her chest. But, she never backed down against him, wasn't gonna start then. "Oh sorry, the girls that kiss you."“Felicity isn’t my girlfriend, and even if she were, I don’t see why it’s any of your business.” He stepped towards her. “Also, no, that’s not how I treat all the girls I kiss.” Jenny forced herself to hold eye contact, ignoring the way his statement made her feel. Some deep anxiety she couldn’t shake off. “And the ones that kiss you?” she asked, teasing him more. She loved the way his jaw clenched but she knew he wouldn't do anything, she had the power of being the only person he tolerated around that place."I don't see how that's any of your business, darling."The nickname did sound good coming from his lips but everything did, he was a cunning bastard, but she had learned a lot with him over the years and the more she understood him the less it worked on her. "Oh, but I am oh-so-jealous of you, Tom, you're gonna leave me forever!" she said in a whiny tone, pouting her lip for good measure. He chuckled at that and she felt like that gained her a point.“Can we just do this work?” He sat down on his chair. She did the same, sitting in front of him. “Sure thing, Tommy.”“Stop fucking calling me that,” he muttered, grabbing the books in his bag.It was her turn to chuckle. "Oh, cursing, that's not very prefect of you, is it?"Tom opened the book on the subject they had that work on. "You're much better when you're quiet, Jennifer."That was a lie for both of them. He loved how much she talked, wasn't gonna tell her anytime soon, though.

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September 15th 1938

(First Year)

Hogwarts was as interesting as it had been described to her throughout the years. But, more interesting were the seemingly few and great places surrounding it. There was a place called the Forbidden Forest and Jennifer always wondered since she was little who'd name a place something so inviting to go check. Or maybe it was just her who felt the urge whenever she heard of it. There was a lake that they crossed on their first day by boat, and for Jenny having never seen many bodies of water growing up, it was enchanting. She had a dream to see the beach someday, but it was not anytime soon, she knew. There was of course the Quidditch Stadium, and the more she saw the students play the less she wanted to see of it. It was very boring, and she hated the flying lessons they had, she couldn't wait to drop them at the end of the year.But, all the other classes, oh, they were great. She loved every subject, she spent nearly every day at the library since school started, and it had only been two weeks. She paid no mind to the other mundane tasks people were entertaining themselves with, like chatting. She had no wish to talk with anyone there. They all seemed very boring. She couldn't stand boring. They knew less than her, and that was a rarity for her, she was used to everyone surrounding her always knowing more.Unfortunately, that was a problem and very noticeable, especially by her Transfiguration professor, who sighed as she went up to him again to ask follow-up questions after class. "Miss Garrick," he greeted.She smiled at being recognised, it felt important and she had to tell her mother, she was sure that'd finally made her impressed. Had to be impressive, right?"So, Professor Dumbledore, I've been reading the book for this discipline, and there was this part about transfiguration into animals," she started.He nodded along, closing the book he had opened on his own desk. "Students always seem fascinated about that, yes.""Right, but I knew about it before, of course, my parents have loads of books," she cleared her throat before she could babble further, "and, it said that you should never perform it on yourself because if you transform into that animal you'll become of less intelligence, as if you're now of that species.""Affirmative.""Good. So, one, with the correct abilities can transform the person back anytime?""Yes," he confirmed."Meaning you don't have to be good at Transfiguration to be changed into an animal," she said.He nodded. "It does imply that, of course.""So anyone can change someone else into an animal if they want to."He looked away from his desk to the girl in front of him. She gulped as he tilted his head at her. "I don't think a First Year should be worrying about that right now, you'll only learn about Human Transfiguration in the Sixth Year, Miss Garrick. For now, you should worry about Avifors spells, which are already of great difficulty for the wizards your age."She nodded. "So Sixth Years can turn us into animals?" Jenny noticed as the corners of his lips turned up and he disguised a possible laugh with a cough as he turned his head to the side. "Umm, t-they won't... I hope.""And if they do? How would anyone even know we're an animal? Would they think we simply quit Hogwarts?" she questioned.He shook his head. "No, we'd contact your parents, of course, and try to look for you, we'd definitely find out, don't worry, Miss Garrick. Besides, I teach my students that such transfiguration is to be handled with care, and if something is to go wrong they are at risk of being kicked out, of course.""So, if we practice Human Transfiguration before the Sixth Year, do we get kicked out?" she asked."We'd have to investigate what the circumstances were, but not instantly- Although, if you were to do it I assume it wouldn't be a flawless spell, therefore the possible complications which could lead to you being kicked out."Jennifer nodded along. "Can more skilled wizards at Transfiguration merely transform themselves back after being turned?""If by themselves, I'm sure they had the intent to remain conscious of the act, therefore they can, yes. It is a skill to be practised carefully and thoroughly as almost any in this school," he said."I see, I think I understand," she replied.He nodded with a smile. "I'm glad."She turned around to start getting out of the classroom but Professor Dumbledore called her again, so she turned around. "Don't mind my question, but have you made friends so far, Miss?" he asked.She wondered if his question came from her staying after class so often, and it left her with an ache in her heart that she was doing something wrong, or annoying him. "I'm not that interested in anyone so far.""At this stage, it is best to greet everyone and pick the friends after, I shall advise you."Jennifer looked away from his stare. "I just don't ―""I taught your mother, did you know? And your father too, of course, but she always stood out." She looked back at him with raised eyebrows. "I mean, I assume so, if you've been a Professor for a long time.""I taught defence against the dark arts back then, just as valuable and dangerous," he said.Jenny chuckled as she could imagine her mum as a snobby know-it-all, much like she wished to be. She wanted people to expect her to know more than them, at all times, not stupid Hogwarts students, but in the future, the people she'd meet who were also of age, she wanted them to know she was better."And your mother, she also wasn't much for socializing, and she didn't care to. But, I could see the effect it had after a long time.""Wasn't she quite popular back then, though?" she questioned."Yes, but for the wrong reasons. You see, people clung to hear more out of fear than out of love, and friendships should always be love. There shouldn't be any fear in them," he said. "She didn't do anything wrong publically, but I'm not naive, I assume she taunted quite a few kids from other Houses. Her need to become a Prefect and a Head Girl came from the wish to dominate."Jennifer never heard anyone speak so much of her mother as she saw her. They usually said nice things, which she found to be untruthful most times. No, she was not pleasant, or nice, nor she had much knowledge to share, she was always on guard and guarding."All this to say, I see her in you now, and I'm sure you want more than that. You can be a great witch like she was and is but still have people's care and admiration. There's no need to take that path when the other is much easier."She furrowed her eyebrows. It didn't seem easier, it seemed much harder. Both did in fact. She only wished to know, there was hardly any vengeance for power within her. She knew her faith was not a great one, but she liked to learn, and that was enough at that moment."Y'know, I see a lot of similarities between you and Mr. Riddle. Do you know him?" he asked as he grabbed his book and bag.Jennifer nodded. She saw him a lot too at the library, he also seemed to be a loner, and she wondered if he gave him that same speech, but she had a feeling that he didn't. They hadn't talked much, but both sat close together and it was quite comforting because she knew he was just as focused as she. "Well, you two could entertain those questions of yours together so I can possibly start arriving in time for my next class," he said with a laugh as he started to walk towards the exit."Thank you, professor.""You're welcome, Miss. Garrick."
September 20th 1938

(First Year)

As Jennifer entered the library after one more day of class she gulped. She knew the place well already, and it gave her no fears, but as she looked at the boy Tom Riddle sitting at one of the tables she grew anxious. Professor Dumbledore had basically told her to get friends because he was tired of her and as much as it hurt she wasn't a baby, so she could do it.As she dropped her things next to him he instantly looked up to check who had shown next to him. "Hey, Riddle," she greeted, and it sounded odd, it was too nice, unlike their interactions."Hi."She sat down on the chair next to his. "Don't you hate how high up the library is?" Tom snorted. "It's at the same distance for all houses, three floors.""I know, but what do we even have next to our common room? The kitchen? Hufflepuff still has it closer. Whoever designed this hated us.""I believe it was a shared project."She rolled her eyes. Of course, she knew that. "Well, there could've been more sharing going on between them. Why are we even so close to the Hufflepuffs?" she asked, cringing her face. "I don't mind," he muttered. "And don't get me started on the no light, always cold aspect. It's like we're actual snakes.""I'm sure that's the goal," he said."Yeah, but my body disagrees," she stated, starting to finally grab the things from her bag.He hummed."Does nothing bother you? Seriously?" she questioned."I like being hidden away, it's comforting," he replied.Jennifer wasn't sure how she'd manage to become friends with someone so... whatever that was. He was giving her nothing to work with. He was starting to sound as boring as the other kids. "Why would I want to be hidden?"He turned his head to look at her. "No professors bothering us, none would care to go down to the Dungeons, would they? Besides, I heard we throw great parties down there.""Not one for gatherings," she said. Tom looked back at his book. "Me neither." He didn't look like he was but she wondered how he knew so much then, but she didn't pay attention to what he doing all day, and why would she?"Then, why do you care about the parties?" she asked when he didn't expand further."Forces me to care. You should do the same." "I haven't seen any," she said.He flipped a page. "You go to sleep early, Garrick.""Am I supposed to be going to class sleep-deprived?" she asked with a scoff."No one cares for bookworms, you're looking like a Ravenclaw," he said.She turned to the side, facing him. "Excuse me, Mr. that I see every day at the library as well.""But, I talk. Do you even talk to the girls at your dorm?" he asked. No, she did not.Jennifer shrugged. "I know their names, they don't seem that interesting.""Dorothea is cool, I can't talk for the others. She is very chatty, you two would get along well," he said. "How do you know who my dorm mates are?" she asked.Riddle flipped another page and it annoyed her, how could he talk to her and be reading at the same time? "Because I talk."Jennifer rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "Don't be so mad, just talk more," he said.For some reason that made her want to socialise even less, and she wasn't sure why Dumbledore said she and Tom were similar, she found him very dry and annoying. But, it also left her needing more conversations with him so she could know more, so she could understand. If she was ever able to.
Maybe.

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November 18th 1938
(First Year) ══════⊹⊱≼≽⊰⊹══════
"Darling diary,

I feel like I finally may understand that pent-up boy on the train. He isn't even that bad, he doesn't complain much. My mom always complains about everything I do. The more he talks to me the more he seems to enjoy my presence. He looks really cute too, I wish he smiled more. He aces at nearly everything, it makes me want to try harder, I have this odd innate urge to be better than him. Is it even possible?

Everyone here is so boring and naive. That word is so damn fancy, naive. Aren't we all naive to the things everyone excels at? Woah, that sounded really cool. I'm not naive.

Anyway, diary, Tom is cute and he annoys me a lot, gives me mixed feelings. I don't think of him in a love-love way, that sounds gross, but he seems like he'd be good at love stuff. Make a flower out of tin air type romantic person.

Romantic? Tom? Nevermind. Worse word ever.

Anyway, TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY, DIARY.

Bye, Diary."
══════⊹⊱≼≽⊰⊹══════Jennifer closed her diary and hid it as usual underneath the bed. She went downstairs to the common room very happily and excited to talk to anyone she saw. Being near so many kids was odd for her, she wasn't allowed friends her mom didn't know the parents 100%. Here her mom couldn't see her, couldn't guide her anywhere she didn't want to go. She looked around the room and the first person her eyes landed on was Tom, even though there were kids all abound. "Greetings, Riddle," she sat down next to him and peeked at the book he was reading, he didn't hide it or even look at her. It was a book about the history of Slytherin. He had been reading that for weeks. She already heard way too much about Slytherin from her mother, reading about it was just boring."Hello, Garrick," he replied, flipping a page."Learning lots?" she asked, straightening her back as he glanced at her. "Hopefully." He looked back at the book.Jennifer nodded even though he wasn't looking anymore. She cleared her throat to get his attention again and he looked back at her. “Tomorrow is my birthday,” she revealed with a smile she couldn't contain.He looked at her and raised his eyebrows. She'd be happy on her birthday, so he could ruin the fun and she'd stop bothering him. Would be a great plan. It had been 2 months since the school year started and she always came to sit next to him and started conversations, he had no idea why. There were a lot of people like her around them, but she rarely talked with those kids. Not that he found them interesting either, but she wasn't that special to begin with so she'd have no problems bonding. Yes, she was pleasant to look at, blonde curly hair and eyes calm and blue like a lake. But, so were most girls, she wasn't special in any way. "Did you hear me? You're staring."Tom gulped as his cheeks grew in temperature at the realization. "Yes, that seems very nice."“My parents usually give me tons of presents, but they said they wouldn't send any letters or... things during this time because...” she looked at the ceiling, “well, my mom said I had to grow up and face how the world treats us.”Would be nice to get a gift on one's birthday, Tom never had that. "Ok..."She grinned at him. “I thought we could have fun as my gift, maybe walk around at night ― go to the restricted section,” she suggested, wiggling her eyebrows. She definitely had a way of persuading him, but we'd prefer to be there alone for the things we wanted to find there.Tom swore he could see a shine in her blue eyes, adding to her happiness. Ignore her eyes. “That's a great idea...” he replied before he could even plan to say no. Bollocks.Jennifer sighed and placed her hands on her thighs. “It's a plan then?”He nodded and his eyes went back to the book he was reading.She shrieked in happiness and got up. “I'm going to ask Frieda for a dress,” she said and ran to the girl's dormitory. 
One could call her... cute.

November 19th 1938

(First Year)
             Jennifer waited patiently on the corner next to the stairs, running her hands through her dress to make it less wrinkled. It was a bit large for her, but it fit. She gasped loudly when she felt two hands on her waist.“Hey,” Tom said, recoiling his hands.She turned around with furrowed eyebrows and pointed a finger at him. “What was that for, Riddle?”He chuckled, glancing at her finger. “I need to have my fun, Garrick.”She jabbed his chest with her raised finger. “Today is about me. Got it? I turn 12 today, I am starting to become more of a woman now,” she said, straightening her back.He pushed her hand away and let his eyes drift from her head until they landed on her toes. “Woman? Wouldn't be able to tell, you look like you're 7 with that dress.”Jennifer rolled her eyes and grabbed his wrist, starting to walk to the library. “I have been getting compliments all day.”“It's Saturday, everyone's happy, and everyone's giving compliments or lying as I'd call it.”"Don't be mean to me, it's my birthday."He chuckled at that. "Almost over."She didn't let go of his wrist until they reached the library. She grabbed her wand and muttered, “ Alohomora .”He widened his eyes. “You can do that?” She turned around to smile at him. “I came prepared.” Still looking at him she opened the door behind her. “I always do.”He hummed and entered the library behind her, closing the door carefully. “Your poshness serves for something.”"What does that have to do with ―  nevermind." She walked through the library until they reached the restricted section. They sneaked around the bookshelves to not get caught by who was guarding the place at this hour. Some kids were still there studying so it wouldn't be weird if they were found there. When they reached it Jennifer raised her wand and cast, “ Muffliato, ” to them both.Tom was impressed ― just a tiny bit ― once more. “Wow. Since when do you know these spells?”Jennifer raised her eyebrows at him and smiled. “What do you wanna do?” she asked. A lot of things, but, none involved celebrating her birthday, which was almost passing. He took a step towards her . “Let's read some books.”She chuckled. “Pick one.”They stayed up reading books until the sky looked less black and more a dark blue. Eventually, they fell asleep, Jennifer didn’t remember when, but by then the Sun illuminated them. Jennifer was lying against a bookshelf while Tom's head was on her shoulder, having fallen there at some point. She knew that he probably fell asleep after she did because he was still holding a book while hers was neatly stacked in front of them.There was a relaxing silence — would be more relaxing if her back and neck didn’t hurt. She could also feel his hair on her neck, itching a bit, so she moved up, hoping he would wake up. Tom raised his head and rubbed his eyes with his fists. He was adorable when he wasn't being so pent up. She bit her lip, grabbed the books from the floor, and put them back on the shelves. She couldn't believe that she fell asleep in a library... with a boy . Her mother would kill her if she knew.At least, Tom wasn’t just any boy, she was sure he didn’t think of her that way. She sometimes wished he did, though, as she let herself stare at his soft features while he was concentrating. Then, he ruined it by glaring at her, the feelings almost fully vanished.Tom groaned as he got up. “My neck hurts,” he muttered in a sleepy voice. He looked at her ― she looked perfect, even after having slept sitting on the floor, she looked beautiful ― she always did ― Tom hated it. He hated her.She chuckled as she placed the last book in its place. “My back hurts.” When she turned around she noticed him gazing at her. “What?”“You just woke up and your hair still looks perfect,” he growled, “also, your first thought was to put the books back in their place.”“And?” she wondered, putting her hand to feel her hair, it was still neat. It passed her shoulders a bit now, and she liked it better that way. She didn't know if it was worth it because her mom would surely be mad at her for not keeping it as she wanted, but at that moment she didn't want to think about that."How can you be so perfect all the time?" The words were a compliment to what she had been achieving all her life, what was expected of her, but his tone was of someone very mad. Reminded her of her mom."I'm not, my neck hurts too."Tom rolled his eyes, his jaw clenching. "Why do you even hang out with me? Do you deem me perfect? Do you like me or something?"Jennifer was barely awake yet, the questions and tone were like a bucket of cold water. She wasn't sure there was anything she could say that would excuse his accusations. "Why are you saying all this?""Bad morning, I suppose," he replied calmly and stepped towards her, "waking up next to a prissy bitch."Jennifer felt herself getting teary-eyed. She didn't understand what was going on. "You didn't enjoy last night?" she asked, her voice in the right tone for a library but very low for that conversation.He laughed like she had said something very funny. "Just hoped it would make you stop being so damn annoying. You're always following me around like a bitch." He stepped even closer."We're friends ― "“It irritates me.”Jenny stepped back, her back hitting the bookshelf. “I'm ― I ― I'm sorry, I suppose. You don't need to get so mad. I thought you wanted t ―  to spend time with m ― me." She didn’t know why she was stuttering, she sometimes woke up anxious, used to having something to worry about when she was home. Her mom had a bad temper and every time she woke up she worried about what she’d do wrong that day to upset her.He continued to look at her. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked him. Her wand went flying to the side, making her turn her head to it. “Riddle...”
You always have to be so perfect. You want to make me look bad.
She looked at him, his mouth wasn't moving. She could feel pressure, inside, in her head. “What?”
Always talking about your mother, about yourself, always showing off.
She heard a pitching noise, it hurt her ears. “Stop,” she whimpered, feeling her knees tremble.
Had to talk to me first day. Why did you? Why can't you leave me alone?
She could hear it, the sound of her mother's heels on the wood floor, it made her heart race. “You ― you glared at me.”“I wanted to be alone,” he said, walking forward.“You're such a disappointment.” Her mom, Jenny could hear her, but she knew she wasn't around. She looked at Tom who was smirking at her. She just wanted him to stop. “Who do you think you are? You're an 11 ― now 12-year-old who knows nothing about the world, who can't even pass the family name.""Riddle, stop," she begged. "You're disappointing, I hate you.”“I try to make you happy,” Jennifer whispered, closing her eyes. The noise that hurt her ears was gone, but she found herself in a dark place, she was sitting down, and her mom was in front of her, looking down.“ Make me happy ?” The woman laughed, raising her hand and dropping it on her cheek. “ All you make me feel is the need to disown you, but I can't do that, can I? ” Her mother started pacing around the chair she was sitting in. “ I would be seen as mean, selfish, arrogant, we both know that's not me, is it?” “Tom,” she whispered, dropping her head. He continued staring at her, not stopping.
“I always wanted to show you the world, make you learn who to be, but you never cared, you never quite saw it, did you? You never understood it.”
“Please, stop, stop, please." Even with her eyes closed she could see everything, could feel the sting on her cheek. 
“You always make mistakes. And, then you wonder why I punish you... You're worth nothing.”
Jennifer felt the woman grab her arm and push her to the ground. “Mum,” she whispered, feeling tears starting to form. “You're just like your father, a weak little thing, who can't even defend herself. Who can't…” She started laughing and suddenly Jennifer felt a hand around her throat, her mother was still standing there and continued choking, making her gasp for breath. “ I wished you had never been born .” She could feel the fingers digging into her skin, her heartbeat increasing, and she could feel it in her throat. “ Sometimes I wish that I squeezed your throat just... a bit too tight and ended up strangling you to death.” The force didn't change even a bit even as she tried to push her off. Just as everything turned black, Jennifer opened her eyes to see Tom standing in front of her, in the restricted section. She gasped for breath instantly and started to cough, finally being able to breathe. She couldn't form words in her head and could still feel her heart beating rapidly, in her chest and her neck. The pressure was still there even though she wasn't being choked and she could breathe.“Sorry, I got too excited,” Tom said. "Always forget the thrill this gives me."Jennifer raised her back to not look up at him.“I can do worse than that, Garrick. So, I'd warn you to stay away from me.”She looked at him, having stopped coughing.“You can invite me to the restricted section anytime, though. Maybe in separate bookshelves.”“You're insane,” she whispered, her voice quivering. It hurt to speak. "I hate you."He saw two tears, one on each cheek sliding down. “I haven't even done much, your mind did it all, it conjured things your mom has told you at some point and made the worst thing you have ever thought of, happen, ” she raised her hands to clean her tears. “Apparently, it is your mother accidentally killing you.”Jennifer shook her head. “Stay away from me.”“Oh, don't you worry... With pleasure, Garrick.” He stepped away and she felt all of it come out.She started sobbing, her head on her hands as she played it back. Where did it go wrong? Did she do something? It all rose from nothing, she didn't even understand it still. Didn't they have fun? 
She was so stupid to think she could ever be special.

She'd never be special.
Jennifer cried so hard she couldn't breathe and the tears were impossible to stop."Fuck Tom Riddle."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

January 09th 1939

(First Year)
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 "I hate Tom Riddle. I hope he dies or his parents take him off this stupid school. He's the absolute worse. He always changes the way he talks, the way he acts around different people. He's a chameleon and those people are crazy, I absolutely hate when my mom shifts moods, yelling at me then laughing at the fireplace as she chats to some friend. BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT HER ANYWAY. But isn't he just like her?

He made so many friends easily, I still hate everyone, I thought it was me and him against everyone but NO. He's SO STUPID.

Merlin, I hate him, hate him, hate-"

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“Hi.” Jennifer looked up from her table in the library and saw a dark-skinned girl with puffy hair, grinning at her. Her hands were grabbing each other in front of her while her shoulders were relaxed.She rapidly closed her diary and pushed it to her chest. “Hello?” she greeted, straightening her back.The girl nodded and dragged the chair in front of Jennifer back to sit in it. “Fun so far...”She gulped and raised her eyebrows. “Pardon?”“Nothing. I'm Willow,” she said giggling.Jenny licked her lips and nodded. “I know.”“You are?” she questioned.“Jennifer.”“Right! Sorry, I wasn't remembering. Uh...”“What ― ”Willow placed her hands on the table, making a loud noise. “Me and my friend, Felicity, we were wondering why you got so quiet these past months,” she explained, looking straight at Jennifer who was struggling to maintain eye contact, “we seemed to be getting along and you even hung out a bit with that guy — Riddle.”Jennifer gulped at hearing his name. After what he did she felt really bad even being in the same room as him, she started isolating herself a lot — she still talked to the others, but it was rare. Even before the others' conversations didn't interest her so she was mostly trying to be nice like her mother told her. After the winter break, she screamed at her for not having many friends already.Although it was the First Year, everyone was already making friends that they said were for life, having small fights and even dating ― that didn't last too long anyway. Even though lonely, things were peaceful, better than at her home where everything was stressful and tiring.“Anyway,” Willow spoke when Jennifer didn't reply, “We share a dorm, we should all be friends. Imagine how fun that will be in the future.”Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows at that.“We could all live in a big house together someday,” she murmured while giggling. When she stopped laughing and looked at Jennifer, seeing her uninterested face, dropped her smile. “I really ― we aren't weird, like the boys, we are nice and… fun. They are quite scary at times, I'm sure you know that.”Jennifer nodded.“The boys are gross, ” she said with a straight face, “we are clean and pretty. What's better than that?”Jennifer didn't consider the boys gross and stupid, maybe just Tom. “What are you asking me exactly?”Willow looked down and licked her lips. “Hang out with us,” she looked up, “― at the common room. Let's just... talk. Other Years usually talk to us too, they're nice, everyone loves talking about ― you know ― their future jobs, who they fancy and stuff.”"Not planning any evil events?"Willow laughed at that. "No, not planning any evil events."Jennifer shrugged. “Then, sure.” Willow smiled brightly at her. “Alright, Jennifer, maybe tomorrow night? It's Tuesday, but ―”“It's fine.”Willow nodded. “Fine.”Jennifer felt some warmth for the first time in months.            Jennifer sat down on the ground, leaning against one of the couches. It was hard looking proper sitting down on the floor. Proved floors weren't made for sitting. She put her legs to the side and pulled her skirt over her legs. Some girl was telling a story about having seen two professors kissing, it was a highly doubtful story, but it was entertaining she had to give her that. She looked around and saw Willow, the girl who approached her the day before, walking towards the circle.She sat next to Jennifer. “Hi, Jennifer.”“Hi, Willow.”“Didn't think you'd be here if I'm honest,” Willow confessed, crossing her legs.“Me neither,” she mumbled, glancing down at the crossed legs. That was something her mom would kill her if she saw her doing. “This my friend,” she pointed to the girl who Jenny didn't notice before, “Felicity. The one I talked about"The girl waved at Jenny. "Can't believe you got her to come!" She seemed surprised and Willow winked at her in reply. "You have powers." She turned to Jennifer. "How are you?"“Fine,” Jenny replied.“That's... yeah,” Felicity said, looking back to the girl telling the story.Willow chuckled. “She loves to know all the dope.”Jennifer nodded and sucked on her bottom lip. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do, she wasn't going to talk, and she had no stories to tell. She looked to her right and saw Felicity completely smitten over the story that girl was saying while Willow was looking at her, shaking her head. As that girl's story was finished and everyone was shocked and laughing, Willow spoke up. “Had you guys seen Jennifer?” she asked.Jennifer widened her eyes and looked around. Willow didn't seem to be ashamed of talking over everyone else ― Jennifer wouldn't do such an unladylike thing.“She's a First Year, too.” Willow smiled at Jennifer.Some people said hello while others just rolled their eyes. She was sure that her cheeks were redder than they had ever been. “Hi,” she greeted.The attention was taken away from her when a group of boys joined the circle, rearranging it. Of course right as she felt included Tom had to show up and suck all the air out of the room. As she was staring at him, he glanced back, but his facial expression didn't change at all. An unsettling feeling spread through her.“We should play that game we played on Halloween,” a boy of those who joined in, Lestrange, suggested with a smirk.People complained, mostly the girls.“What's that game?” Jennifer asked and people were looking at her again.“Some sort of kissing game,” a girl, a bit older than the others replied. Felicity snorted, “it's more than a kissing game, Nadia.”“Basically,” Willow started, getting to her knees, “everyone puts their hand in the middle and the last has to kiss whoever the first to put their hand says.”Jennifer raised her eyebrows. “Right...” She had never kissed anyone, but she didn't care to do so either. The thought that her mother wouldn't approve crossed her mind, but not like she could see her. “It's not that bad.”“You won't like it when it's you, though,” some guy said.“I don't mind,” Lestrange interjected, “I volunteer.”“Do we have to kiss girls too?” a blonde girl asked.“Of course!” Willow shouted. “It should be easier.” The girl groaned and so did some people.“I don't want to kiss a boy,” Lestrange said with a wrinkled face.“Don't be last then,” Felicity replied and then looked down.“Also! Besides choosing who you kiss, the person also chooses if it's a big or small kiss and where it is,” Willow explained, leaning forward slightly, “let's start.”“Where it is?” Jennifer wondered. She heard someone giggle but didn't notice who it was.“Yes, people kiss each other in different places,” Willow replied. "Do I need to give you the bees and the birds talk?"Jennifer scoffed. She hadn't heard her be sassy towards her yet, but she supposed their interactions were quite short all the time anyway. She was remembering why she never hung out with those people. "It's just a weird ―"Lestrange leaned forward too. “Have you never kissed anyone?”“We're 12,” Felicity shrieked, “a lot of people here haven't kissed anyone. Also, it's a game, so the kiss doesn't count. Wouldn't wanna say your first kiss was on a stupid game like this.”“Stop talking, let's start,” Tom said, also leaning forward as he got to his knees.Jennifer bit down on her lip. Who hadn't already, leaned forward, making everyone be so-and-so at the same distance. The first time, everyone jolted so quickly that Jennifer thought she would be the last one, but she wasn't. Lestrange was, it seemed to be on purpose, though. The first one was a blonde guy who immediately smirked at him. “Don't choose a guy or I'll do it for you too,” he quickly replied.“Please, Malfoy, I'll pay you,” Avery said excitedly, “make him kiss a boy.”Malfoy's raised his eyebrows at Avery. “Really?”Avery widened his eyes. “Not like that!”“Lestrange,” Malfoy looked around, “kiss Avery on the cheek.”They both groaned as everyone laughed at their shamed looks.“I was nice!” he exclaimed with a smile.They were next to each other so Lestrange simply leaned forward and did what he was told. “I hate this game,” he whined. Avery wiped his cheek.Everyone leaned forward again and the last was Jennifer. She was still surprised by how quickly everyone placed their hands. The first was Malfoy again, he had a good reaction time. “Well... I don't know you. Anyone wants to suggest someone?” he asked. No one replied to him. “Well... just...” he looked around, “kiss Rosier, I guess.”“She's my cousin, Abraxas,” he complained.Malfoy widened his eyes. “Oh, ok, So ― hm ― well, kiss Avery, he got it bad last round.”Avery smiled. “On the mouth?”“Yeah.”Jennifer went over to the other side of the circle on her knees, staying in front of Avery. “How long?”“It's your first time playing, so a peck.”She nodded and leaned in to give him a peck on the mouth. He barely had time to respond before she pulled back and went back to her seat. “Well, even Lestrange's was nicer,” he mumbled. She looked down and blushed as some people laughed. “And we all know why...” Tom replied with a smile. People laughed again but at Lestrange instead of at her.She looked up to glance at him who looked back with a neutral expression again.“Anyway, third round,” Willow announced.That round someone she didn't know was last and had to kiss someone she also didn't know. It was boring seeing others make out, she figured. She was never the first nor the last for quite a few rounds, it made her tune out quite a bit. "Finally, you again!" Willow exclaimed, shaking her shoulders.She looked down to see everyone pulling their hands away already. "Oh.""Don't be so easy on her now!"She wasn't sure who was the first to put their hand and had to try to look at who everyone was looking. It was a girl she didn't remember the name of. "Mmm, if I knew her I could make her kiss who she fancied. Do you guys know?""We barely know her too," Felicity said as if she wasn't right there hearing."I don't fancy anyone," Jennifer replied and her eyes glanced at Tom who stared at her still with that calm and collected expression she wanted to rip off ―"Kiss Tom.""Oh, right, she did hang out with him a bit beginning of the year," Felicity replied. "Were you guys dating or something?"Tom was the one who was moving towards her and her heart almost jolted off her chest. She wanted him far away from her, definitely not his lips anywhere near her."Just friends," Tom replied."Friends?" The girl who suggested Tom asked. "You seem to be going there quite excitedly..." His friends laughed at him and cheered. Tom turned to her and gave her the finger, it made Jennifer giggle. "She is already uncomfortable on this stupid lame game, just feel sorry." He settled in front of her. "What a gentleman, Riddle," Malfoy called out and their friends laughed again.Jennifer didn't know what to say."Where?" Tom asked, still staring at her. Her eyes were all over his face as she couldn't look him in the eyes for too long."Neck, with tongue. You should do it to her."Tom scoffed. "You guys are so childish." He leaned in regardless and put his hand behind her neck, pushing the blonde curls to the side with the other hand. She was paralyzed in his grip, she could barely breathe already. He didn't seem to be so shocked as he just leaned in and kissed her neck. The breathing near her neck made her giggle and squirm, but he soon bit down softly and sucked the flesh into his mouth. The hand on the back of her neck was stroking her hair very lightly but she felt like her scalp was on fire. Jennifer had never been touched like that. The kiss with Avery was so easy, she barely remembered his lips, didn't even make her anxious. Being kissed on the neck by Tom was making her so nervous as if she was the one doing it. She couldn't help but wonder what kissing him would be like. He sucked on that spot a bit then kissed it as he was pulling away. She opened her eyes when the sensation was gone, not noticing she closed them. Her cheeks were on fire, her neck was still tingling. She felt things no one ever made her feel before, it was like a tension that built up and she didn't know how to release it. Everyone cheered as he pulled back. "Ok, that was hot enough to end it there," the girl commented making everyone laugh again.As everyone went to their respective dorms, she got up and sat on the couch, her legs and butt felt sore from sitting on the floor. She realized hanging out wasn't really her thing, but the girls she met were nice to her... as nice as Slytherin girls can be. She let out a sigh as the place was becoming more empty.She was surprised to see Tom walking towards her. She ignored him, looking someplace else.He sat next to her. “Didn't know you had friends.”She clenched her jaw. “Why would you care?”“I don't,” he replied, shrugging. “Just thought it was funny to see you try to interact with people. You were uptight all game, you know?”She rolled her eyes. Of course, he had to start by insulting her. "I don't like them."He scoffed. “Me neither, but sometimes you gotta pretend, don't you know that from interacting with your mother?"Jennifer got up and turned to look at him, her hands went to her hips. “Why are you talking to me? You told me to stay away. Are you trying to taunt me? Talking about my mum out of nowhere?”"No. Just didn't wanna kiss your neck and ditch. Felt like a weird interaction.""You care about my feelings that much?" she replied, her voice rising. One of the girls from before, the one that made him kiss her neck was still there, sitting on a couch, pretending to read a book. She had so many emotions in her she couldn't be bothered by onlookers.Tom glanced around too and gestured for her to sit next to him. She did. "I expected it to be different."Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows at him. "Kissing my neck?"He widened his eyes and she saw him flush for the first time on the whole evening. "No. That's ― that was as I would expect ― I don't ― that's not the point ―""You expected it?" It was fun seeing him at a loss for words, satisfying even."No, Garrick, shut up, just let me talk." When she didn't reply he kept going. "I expected that you leaving me alone would be different. I thought I could just be with the others, pretend to have fun, go to these lame nights. But, you kept me more sane. I feel like I'm one game night away from killing one of them."Jennifer chuckled. She could understand why, everyone was so passive-aggressive. "That's... As much as that's really satisfying to hear, I don't want to be near you, you really hurt me."“I don't think you want to be away from me,” he replied.She furrowed her eyebrows. “How would you even know?”“I had a feeling,” he shrugged as he got up.“You're just saying that,” she said, straightening herself. He smiled at her and it made her cross her arms in front of herself. “Think of a number.”She chuckled. “What? Are you gonna try to guess it?”“Think of a number,” he repeated.“You have 0 chances of guessing it,” she argued, “it's pointless.”“Just think of a number,” he pressed, nodding slightly. “Written.”She uncrossed her arms and adjusted her hair. Six-hundred thousand, five hundred and seventy.  “Done. ” She felt a pressure inside her skull again.“Six-hundred thousand, five hundred and seventy,” he repeated an exact copy of what she thought.Jennifer widened her eyes and stepped back. He had gotten in her head at the library and was, then, reading what she thought. She wasn't dumb, she knew of Legilimency, her cousin was an expert at it, it seemed to be a born-with skill. Those past weeks she had lots of time to think about how Tom did what he did to her so she looked for answers in the library. It was magic. Herself, she never tried to do such a thing, she didn't even know where to start. She supposed it wasn't something for everybody. “You know what it is?” he asked, surprised.“I am more knowledgeable than you think, Tom,” Jennifer replied, taking a step towards him.He raised his eyebrows at her. “How doesn't it make you curious?”She shrugged. “My head is already enough, I don't wish to see others.”“You can control it,” he argued.Jennifer chuckled. “It can happen randomly, you know? My cousin gets that and, well, it's not the best feeling, she says.”Tom snorted. “Your cousin is weak, that must run in the family.”Jennifer stared at him, not having something to say back. “Your weakness is the reason you're so scared of your mother and the reason she...” he looked her up and down, “she does whatever it is she does.”She scowled. “You know nothing.”“I know everything,” he replied and pointed at her, “I know all that you think, everything, even the thoughts without words, I can read them.”“Just because you know what I'm thinking doesn't mean you understand it,” she snapped.“Oh, trust me, I do,” he snapped back. Tom walked toward her and placed his finger on her forehead, her mouth moved to a horizontal line as all muscles of her face tightened. “I can make amazing things happen too, you know,” he told her and suddenly she saw black, she felt that her eyes were open so she was confused, “I can see your best dreams.”Suddenly she saw a house, a much smaller house than hers, two people were in front of it. As she traveled floating towards it she saw her parents, they were both happy, hugging each other. “I can make all of that feel real,” he whispered, next to her ear.She felt her feet hit the ground and they both pulled her into a hug. She felt two kisses on the top of her head. “It's not real, though,” she whispered. “It feels real,” he whispered again and she could feel a bit of his hair brushing against her cheek.Her parents pulled back and dragged her inside, the house was more comfortable than hers, it felt more cluttered, but at least, she could feel that people lived there. There were portraits and pictures on the wall of her and her parents ― not of old family members like in her house ― they were moving with life and looking at her directly in the eyes. Her mother brushed her hand on her hair and she couldn't help but close her eyes at the feeling. “ It's not real,” she whispered to herself.Tom removed his finger from her forehead, but she could still see everything, feel everything when she opened her eyes. She fell forward but Tom grabbed her arms to help her stay upright. Her father said he loved her and her mother said how proud she was of her. Then it was all gone, she was in the common room with Tom who had his body against hers. It didn't feel as odd as she'd expected, it felt like it was feeding into the tension from earlier, she needed him away.She pushed him away and had to brush away the tears starting to fall. “Why did you do that?”“Just wanted you to...” he licked his lips, “I know you wanted that.”Jennifer hated the way he sounded genuine, she believed him and that scared her. “You aren't nice, not this nice. You ― what you did at the library ―”“It was a bad way to ― ” Tom looked down. “I thought you were too... too much,” he said, but not with the right words.“You told me I was too perfect.”“You are.” He had no idea why he made her feel good. Her dream made him happy too, made him wish it, not having a family for himself. He hadn't let himself consider that he wanted that, he was too focused on getting back at people or just making them feel bad.“You saw my worst nightmare, you know I am not,” she chuckled, “you saw my mother.”“You aren't your mother. Even though, she probably wants that.”Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows. “She just wants me to make the best choices, she doesn't want me to be her .”Tom shook his head. “You can have quite a thick skull sometimes,” he muttered.She rolled her eyes, “right.”"Look, what I did was..." he trailed off. There he was lost for words again. "I'm not...""You're sorry?"He shrugged. "Wouldn't know, but give me another chance, I'll teach you to keep your wards up better as a payback.""Why? Didn't you hate me, Riddle?" He was the weirdest boy she had ever met, at least she hoped they weren't all like that, it sounded tiring to be like him."Even if you're annoying, you're very smart and I want you by my side."And he worded things in a way that made her wonder if she was being fooled. "How can I trust you?""You can't, but isn't that more exciting than anything anyone here can ever offer?"Jenny shrugged. She loved the way he talked and she had to learn how to stop. He was gonna hurt her again, she just knew it. “I will think about it.”She hated him and her neck still felt weird from his mouth. Everything felt weird.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

January 13th 1939
(First Year) Jennifer looked at the homework in front of her and her head hurt before she even started. It wasn't hard, she could definitely do it. But, she didn't want to. She didn't want to do anything. There was an answer to give Tom, there were the marks he gave her still on her neck, red and dark. Not that she wasn't used to having marks she couldn't explain on her neck, but these she could, and everyone that passed her on their Year, the Slytherins, they all knew. They made comments and laughed at her, she just played it off, but she hated it.They had no idea how awful everything truly was. Even if they did, maybe they wouldn't care, who would? Not even her own mother could bring herself to pretend, why would strangers?She always knew it wasn't normal, the things her mum did. The use of dark magic. Didn't feel right. But, people being so nice doesn't either, it feels scary and she wants to run away. People laughing at her feels comforting, she knows it. The homework looked back. She felt the urge to cry, to let everything out, but she couldn't. Hadn't cried since what happened in the library and she swore she wasn't going to act like such a little baby again, just wasn't. "You're that girl."
Oh no, not again.
She raised her head and saw the same girl that made Tom kiss her neck. She had wavy brown hair and eyes, which matched the color of her skin, although not as dark as Willow's. Her lips were stretched into a big smile, showing off her pearly teeth. Her outfit wasn't as put together as Jenny's, her vest was missing, for one thing, and she merely wore socks instead of the tights Jennifer wore. Her mother said it was more respectful to cover her legs completely, so she had been avoiding the knee socks at her disposal. It was quite cold so she didn't mind.The girl pulled a chair to sit in front of her. "What was your name?""Jennifer Garrick.""Oh, the Garricks," she giggled. "My mum fucking hated yours. Of course, then she wasn't a Garrick, but everyone still remembers. She taunted everyone around her, my mum calls her the pretty menace. "Sounds about right. "She was young.""My mum was young, yours definitely knew better."Jenny shrugged, not sure what to reply that wouldn't be just full on agreement."But, I mean, if you were raised by a psychopath you still came out pretty fine, you were so shy the other day."Jennifer blushed at that. "Sorry."The girl waved it off. "Can't apologize for who you are.""I suppose not?" she replied, not sure where the girl wanted to take the conversation. It was still better than homework."I'm Dorothea, no last names, hate that bullshit," she said, smiling at her.Jennifer nodded. She didn't care about the last name policy, she did it with Tom because she was scared of calling him Tom, it felt too informal. "You curse a lot.""We all will one day, don't your parents?" she asked.Jennifer shrugged again. "I don't think about it. My mum says I shouldn't, that's what I focus on.""You like following what your mum says?" Dorothea asked.Jennifer felt her anger build up. She used to be much better at managing it before Hogwarts. "Why are you talking to me?"The girl raised her eyebrows, leaning forward on her seat. "So you do have a personality."She didn't understand what she meant by that, it felt like an insult but the words dripped like honey from her mouth. She had such a soft tone and a pretty smile, but the words didn't match. "I...""I saw you talking to Tom.""Felt more like prodding," Jennifer said before she could stop herself. There was something about that girl that made her wanna reply directly."Yes, I love to prod. He's so different with you, y'know?" She shook her head. "He hates me."Dorothea laughed so loud she had to put a hand to contain herself inside the library. One more person laughing at her, great. "That's not hate, my love.""I would know." Someone making you see your worst fear and then smiling in victory felt very much like hatred to her. "Right. If so, those marks are quite hateful." Jennifer rolled her eyes. "We had to.""You know why I picked him?" she asked."Yeah. Because I looked at him. You're not that smart." She just wanted some peace and quiet, to think better about the whole situation with Tom."You're right, but I also knew you guys hung out a lot." She wished she had never talked to him on that train. "We stopped.""I heard in the common room. Not sure I understood everything but he hurt you, right? Typical guys."Jennifer felt the tears threatening to slip out again, she had to smile to try to push them back. "Doesn't matter. I'm not even sure I want to be his friend again."Dorothea sighed and grabbed her hand on top of the table. For some reason, Jennifer didn't feel like pulling back. "We both know you will be. He affects you, don't deny that, but also don't let him treat you like that. Take him on his offer, learn how to get into his mind, payback, and then mark him too."She'd love to do that, but it sounded conflicted, much like her emotions. "That sounds like the plot of a movie." "Let it be one. At least you're the director, and you also get to star in it, pretty great.""I don't know, I just wished he went away," she replied, pushing her hand from Dorothea's grip, the touch from another person was starting to burn through her skin.Dorothea smiled at her. "He won't. You have 6 more years, make them count. After that, you may never see him again, but meanwhile, you can have fun. That's why I love boys, so fun to see all your possible lives with everyone and it's like you have multiple universes where they were the guy, it's like you got them all."Jennifer wasn't sure she cared about that logic, but it seemed to work for Dorothea.  "Not saying you want Tom, like that, but you already don't have him right now, what can go wrong with him as your friend?" 
If only she knew.

January 20th 1939

(First Year)
"Avoiding me?"Jennifer could recognize that voice anywhere. 
Yes, she had been. Ever since that conversation with Dorothea, she felt so weird every time she looked at Tom like she was eyeing him or wanted him. Was that how it seemed for everyone? Couldn't she want to talk to a boy without being accused of liking him?
"No," she replied, not sure if to the question or to the disturbance his presence was causing.Tom got in front of her to stop her pace. She hugged the book she was holding closer to her chest and looked around. They were outside and she was going to another class far from where they were, thankfully people were starting to dissipate and no one would see the altercation."What? I'm gonna be late, Riddle," she insisted, her nails digging into the book.He tilted his head, his beautiful brown hair falling into his face, his hair wasn't drawn back with gel as usual. "If you're late, I'm late. Consider this mutually maleficent."Jennifer tilted her head back as she glared at him. "Could be beneficent if you let me go.""Not stopping you," he said stepping closer to her. Jennifer moved to the right and tried to pass him but he too moved. Then she tried the left and the same effect. So, she just bolted through him, hitting his shoulder, but then he grabbed her arms. Once again, his touch didn't feel odd, felt right, satisfying.  "Merlin, please, Riddle, what do you want?"He let go of her arms and smiled. "Thought about my offer?"She gulped as his beaming smile added to her conflicting emotions. "Yes. Don't want it."Riddle rolled his eyes. "Do I have to mark your neck again?"Jennifer had almost forgotten about that, but he had to remind her of course, and heat up her cheeks. "Riddle, I said I'd think about it, the answer is no.""You didn't come to tell me, so answer denied.""You can't not accept me not wanting to be friends with you!" she nearly yelled. She was so annoyed and couldn't try to be proper towards him, she even felt her back hunching from the weight of the books. He moved closer and she stepped back. "You seem conflicted.""Have you been reading my brain again lately?" she asked.Tom smirked. "No, but that proves I'm right."Jennifer scoffed. "Y'know what, sure, if I can be sure you'll never read my brain again I'll be your friend again.""Done.""No," she instantly replied, "I'm not sure you wouldn't, prove to me you won't and I'll accept."Tom seemed confused at her proposal. "What? Do you want me to be nice or something?"Jennifer shrugged and it was her turn to smile. "Yes.""You don't like me nice," he stated, moving towards her again. "Why do you keep getting closer or touching me or ugh!" she complained, glaring at him with all her might."Works usually."Jennifer felt the urge to punch him. Books. She threw them on the grass beneath them and pushed against his chest. "No. I am not one of the stupid girls that thinks you're aw so charming, we're gonna have babies together," she yelled. He had a surprised look but seemed to enjoy it as he just took her pushes. "Dorothea came to me the other day and insinuated I was in love with you. I am not. In fact, you're so annoying I want to choke you!" She pushed him further."I don't think you are," he replied.She punched his chest and he leaned back from the force. "But everyone does! I hate it! What do you think happens if we start hanging out again?"Tom sighed. "You really care that much what they think?""Of course, I care, Riddle!" she whined. "I wanna have friends, you think I don't? Same way you do. They're just so dumb, it's hard."He chuckled. "Wouldn't say I want them as friends.""Whatever you say, Riddle. Don't you get it?" she kept yelling as she finally pushed him against the Hogwarts castle's outside wall. She wasn't sure how they got so close to it, but it felt satisfying throwing him around. She felt some of her previous tension now gone.He groaned when his back hit the wall, but he didn't complain. "I do, but with me, you'll get all that and more, Garrick. Just keep ignoring all the rumors, it's normal for people to think that since the whole," he waved to her neck, "game."Jennifer nodded. "I know. And, that game was a mistake. I'm just glad we didn't actually kiss."Tom grabbed her arms and turned their positions around, pushing her against the wall. It hurt, the stone digging into her back. She wondered if she hurt him when she pushed him there before, she hoped so. "You can deny everything you want, but don't act like that was awful and you hated it.""That's not what I said, but if it hurts your male ego I'm not saying it was bad."He leaned closer and that time she couldn't escape. "Don't play dumb, we can both read between the lines."His phrase was like a bucket of very cold-hot water rushing through her body, the same sensation from his tongue on her neck, tension building up in one specific place. She wasn't sure she even knew what he said, but her body did. "Whatever that means."He smiled as she lied. "We're both late."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

February 14th 1939

(First Year)
“Love Day is the best day ever,” Willow said, “everyone is so in love and cute...”“It’s kinda gross,” Jennifer replied earning a surprised look from Willow. What did people even do when they were in love? Her parents mostly fought, almost hit each other, then apologized, repeat. Seemed very exhausting, she didn't want to be married.“You’re so pretty, you must get lots of envelopes…”Jennifer shrugged, “I never really celebrated this holiday, I don’t know, seems pointless,” she revealed. “If I do get them I don’t care.”She was never allowed to spend much time with other kids, and if she did her mother was always there watching her. Hogwarts felt more free but she did miss someone telling her what to do, and feel, it was hard figuring it out alone. Hanging out with Tom didn't make it easier, he was so complicated. Everyone made her have to chose and exist for herself.“I see… You know what, you can do my hair, it can be our love day activity.”“I thought it was about lovers or something,” Jennifer said.Willow shook her head. “No, my mom says friendship is the best kind of love.”Jennifer never considered that, but her "friends" there made her feel better than her mom ever did so maybe there was some truth to it. She had been hanging out with them more and behind the occasional mean remarks they were nice and actually cared about her. At least, they did a better job at it than Tom, who even though was making an effort to be nicer, was still a boy and lacked much emotional maturity.“Seems fair. I have no idea how to do your hair, though, it's all frizzy and big. Why don't you ask Felicity, she knows how to."Willow was the only girl in that year with that type of hair, which made her feel a bit out. Felicity helped her, considering her mother had similar hair, she knew how to do hairstyles certain wizards hadn't heard of. It was oddly rare that there were very few black wizards. But, as time went on and even Muggles evolved with their... ideals, even if still awful, more wizards were starting to appear. As long as they're not Muggle-borns Jennifer is fine with them.“Felicity looks like she's about to pass out over there,” Willow replied. When she didn’t acknowledge the mention of her name, she moved away from her bed to go talk to Felicity. “Hey.”“Hey,” she greeted back, drawing out the word. “What's wrong, buttercup?” Willow smiled at her.“Abraxas sent a letter to Dorothea instead of me," she replied.And? Better he annoyed her, no? Jennifer hated when boys tried to flirt with her she just wanted to escape, they were so dumb and sometimes smelt bad. If one of the guys sent her a letter she'd burn it.Willow chuckled. “Why are you nervous about that?”“Because earlier we passed through each other near the staircase and one thing led to another and he kissed me,” she revealed.Jennifer widened her eyes at that. “He kissed you?” “Why did he invite Dory then?” Willow wondered."Like, lips on lips?" Jennifer continued questioning."Jennifer," Willow interluded.“Sorry, just hard to imagine that,” Jennifer added.“His lips were like phoenix feathers — I feel like I love him…” she trailed off.Willow snorted. “Does he love you back, though?”She shrugged. “Maybe…”“He invited another girl!” Jennifer exclaimed getting up from her bed, “do not go out with him, he’s fooling you. He’s a fool.” She was so confused how she couldn't see it. Love was so stupid, she never wanted to act that stupid.“If it wasn’t for Dorothea we’d be together,” she replied, her lips turning downward. Willow placed her hand on Felicity’s knee. “He invited her. It’s not her fault. He’s probably telling her he loves her right now.”“He isn’t,” she argued, “I see the way he looks at me.”Jenny couldn’t help but laugh at that, Felicity glared at her. “He looks at all girls like that, even me who never speaks to him.”"He knows you have that thing with Tom," Felicity replied.Jennifer glared at her. "I have nothing with —"“But, he kissed me, so I know it's not just flirting here and there type thing,” she continued ignoring her protests.Willow sat next to her friend on the bed and pull her into a hug. “You know you, but you can do much better than him... besides he's not the only boy at Hogwarts, you're so pretty, any person would be happy to date you,” Willow said, eyes beaming at her. She looked at her with so much love one would think she'd wanna send her a Valentine's Day card.She shrugged. “And — and you don’t even have to date anyone.”“Yeah, I haven't dated anyone, and I'm fine,” Jennifer reassured. She hoped it stayed that way for at least another decade.Willow looked from Jennifer to Felicity, “it's not the end of the world. Also,” she gave a small snort, “what are boys even, they're complicated and... and stupid, why even care?”“And some smell bad,” Jenny added.“You both say that, but I see you hang out with the guys,” Felicity argued pulling away from Willow’s hug, “you’re always following Riddle around, Jenny,” she turned to Willow, “and, you’re always making jokes I don’t understand with Avery.”“That is not true,” Jennifer defended in a high-pitched voice, “we’re usually talking about school, books we read —”“He looks at you like he wants to read you,” Felicity interjected.Jenny gulped. “He doesn’t." He has called her pretty but it's mostly as an insult. Even if he was interested in her she'd burn all the letters the same. Burn, burn, burn...“Who did he even ask out today?” Felicity asked.“Some random girl that’s always making eyes at him most likely,” Jennifer muttered. She did not mean to sound like that. Like Felicity ranting about Dorothea.Felicity smiled for the first time that day, “You sound jealous…”“I am not!” she argued. “You guys don’t know him like I do —”“True,” Felicity said smirking.“Not like that — he’s not interested in that stuff, he just always knows what to say for girls to like him.” For people to like him.“Why does he want them to like him if he’s not interested?” Willow asked.Jennifer also wondered that sometimes, but she just realized Tom was an odd person, he had his own line of thoughts that never aligned with other people’s. “Maybe he likes the attention,” she replied.“Maybe he likes someone else and is taking out on those girls,” Felicity said still with a smile on her face.“He doesn’t like me! I don’t like him!” she exclaimed. The girls both laughed at her tone. “Dear Merlin, can you stop?”“Ok, alright,” Felicity said, “but if you two ever get together I want to be the first to know.”“That’ll never happen.” Dating someone like Tom sounded tiring, to her he didn't seem that exciting, sure... he is smart, and good-looking, and funny, she likes the way he effortlessly mocks others, even when it's her, the way he chuckles at her jokes and makes her know she was actually funny, others would laugh at anything — but, no, Jennifer thought he would be a really bad lover, even he seemed to know that. She hummed at her.“Go back to daydreaming about Malfoy.”A teasing smile left her face at the mention of him. “You know what? I’m gonna go talk to Dorothea.” She got up.Both Willow and Jennifer widened their eyes at each other.“No, Felicity, you will not,” Jennifer insisted.“I will.”“Don’t do something stupid,” Willow pleaded, trying to grab her but she was pushing her away.“She’s taking my man, I’ll take her hair,” she added, putting her shoes on.“He’s not your man!” Willow said, “Please. You’ll regret it.”She was ignoring Willow’s pleas and moving to get out of the room.“I don’t wanna watch that,” Jennifer muttered. Willow tilted her head as she glanced at her.“Let’s go after her.”“Will,” she groaned.Willow grabbed her hand and pushed her out of her bed, running out of the bedroom to catch on with Felicity. They walked down the stairs after Felicity into the common room. Everyone was hanging out there, mostly guys and girls making eyes at each other because it was Love Day, not everyone had sent their letters, it wasn’t even lunch yet.“Hey. You bitch,” Felicity started with, moving towards Dorothea who was talking with Riddle. He smiled at the interaction from surprise, moving back a bit. Jennifer wondered what they were talking about, she didn't know they were friends, it let a bitter taste in her mouth.“She does not mean that,” Willow yelled approaching them.Dorothea looked with raised eyebrows at Felicity. “I’m a what now?”“Please, stop,” Willow begged.Felicity glanced at her but otherwise ignored her friend. Jennifer was mostly surprised at how direct Felicity was being, women weren’t supposed to act like that. If her mother watched her do that she wasn’t sure she’d make it out alive.“B. I. T. C. H. Bitch.”Dorothea chuckled. “You can spell? Didn’t think you had it in you.”“And I didn’t think you had it in you to steal other people’s boyfriends.”Dorothea laughed in her face. She was always so brave and Jennifer envied that, she couldn't be as straightforward, not in public at least. Everyone was watching them and they looked ready to kill each other anyway. “Boyfriends? Any guy even looks at you?” she snapped back.She gasped at that. “Yeah, they do more than talk to me.”Dory looked around the room, there was a crowd forming and she knew most of them liked Felicity, she would lose whatever was happening if she didn’t snap back. “Admitting you’re a harlot now?”“Oh, I’m the slut?” Felicity snorted moving closer to her. “What are you doing with Riddle here?” she pointed at him. He chuckled and Jennifer hoped the accusation wasn't true. “Didn’t Malfoy invite you out?”“That’s what you’re making a big deal for?” she laughed in her face.“I’m not making any deal, I’m telling you to back off from him.”Dorothea scrunched her face at the suggestion. “And why would I do that?” she asked.Willow’s eyes flicked down as she noticed Felicity’s hand slowly moving into her pocket, Dorothea didn’t seem to have noticed it. “Felicity, just let it go.”Jennifer watches Tom move away from Dorothea as he moves towards her.“He doesn’t want you,” Felicity said.“Then why did he ask me out?” Dorothea retorted, leaning forward. She didn’t seem scared of Felicity, there was a mean furrow of a brow that fit her expression.Tom nudged Jenny and leaned to whisper in her ear, “she’s gonna use her wand.” She liked the way the air felt.Jenny noticed Felicity’s hand was in her pocket. “Oh.”“I don’t know nor do I care. He doesn’t like you.”“Someone find Malfoy!” a first-year yelled.Felicity glanced back but seemed to ignore how many people were surrounding them. “Stay away from him.”“You’re literally delusional, you —”She took out her wand and pointed it at the other girl. “Stay away from him.”Dorothea stepped slightly back. “Merlin. You’re insane.”Felicity moved forward and pushed the wand against Dory’s chest. “And you’re a bitch. You always think you’re better than everyone else. You’re desperate for all the boys’ attention.”Dorothea looked around. “I’m not the one pointing a wand at you because of a fucking boy.”“Tom, do something,” Jennifer whispered. She expected him to ignore her but he barely gave it any thought and spoke up.“Felicity, don’t do something you’ll regret.”Felicity, however, wasn't backing down. "Stay out of this, Riddle," she spat, her hand still clutching her wand.Tom raised an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed by Felicity's attempt to intimidate him. "You know better than this, Felicity," he warned.She turned to him with the wand, “or what?”Something flashed in his eyes. “You don’t want to threaten me.”Jennifer noticed a small gulp and reluctance in her stance. Before Felicity could answer Malfoy entered the common room. “What’s going on?”“They’re fighting for you, brother,” someone said.“I am not fighting,” Dorothea said.Malfoy noticed Felicity pointing a wand at Tom and his stoic expression. “Felicity leave him alone.”"You asked her out."Malfoy seemed confused at her craziness. "And?"“Why, if you want me, you kissed me…” she almost whispered. Dorothea wasn’t phased by that.“You think hurting Dorothea — or anyone — will make me ever wanna go out with you?” Abraxas asked her. Tom would like if someone was hurt for him. Why was she even thinking about him?"Why didn't you ask me?"He snorted. "Why would I?"“I don’t know — I’m sorry…” Felicity seemed torn, her anger and hurt warring with the rational part of her mind. Slowly, she lowered her wand and took a step back, a mix of frustration and disappointment evident in her expression. She definitely got scared, Jennifer was getting second-hand embarrassment.Willow placed a comforting hand on Felicity's shoulder. "Come on, let's go back to our dormitory," she suggested. “You’re a total jerkface,” she spat at Malfoy.She led Felicity away from the crowd who started to disperse as they walked away.“What an insane bitch…” Malfoy muttered.Jennifer shook her head at Abraxas. “This was all your fault.”“How? Isn’t my fault she thinks I’m in love with her.”Riddle noticed the way Jennifer’s jaw clenched. “You should go check on Felicity.”“Sure, you men can be real jerks,” she added before leaving for the dorm as well.As Jennifer entered the dorm she noticed Felicity lying face down on her bed, crying. “Felicity using magic like that is dangerous," she said, “something bad could’ve happened to you.”“Yes, don’t do it again, for a boy or anyone.” Willow was sitting next to Felicity, rubbing her back. "I just don't understand why he would ask her out when he kissed me," she mumbled, her voice filled with hurt."Sometimes, boys can be clueless and selfish," Jennifer said gently. "Or, like, always. They just develop slower than us."Felicity sniffled and sat up, wiping away her tears. "I know, but it just hurts…"Jennifer nodded. "I understand, Felicity. But you're better than him, than all the guys there, trust me."Felicity sighed. "They seem to have it easy with no emotions, just going out with anyone. We can't do that.""They don't seem that much happier anyway," Willow replied.“You know what, let’s just promise to not date any boys next year,” Jennifer added. Not that she thought she would anyway.“I agree,” Willow rushed to say. "They can date a thousand girls, not us. "That was one of the most dramatic situations Jennifer had ever witnessed, and it made her wonder what could’ve happened if Tom hadn’t stepped in. She didn’t know why he did. Why would he care about anyone, about some random girl? She knew he was not someone to be trusted, but there was something about him that drew her in, something she couldn't quite put her finger on.She wanted to trust him, for the sake of being his friend, and she hoped she wasn't being fooled, more than anything she chose to believe he was trying to impress her so she'd say yes to his proposal.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

November 19th 1937
(Before Hogwarts)
“I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't get the letter, she has never done magic, she's useless,” Jennifer's mother, Margaret, said, not minding the other people in the room.Odores, Margaret's only sister, chuckled, “calm down, I'm sure she will, she looks — ” Odores looked Jennifer up and down, who was standing in the middle of the living room as her relatives sat down on the big sofas in front of her, “she'll get in.” “Well, the opinion of a Hufflepuff couldn't mean less to me right now,” Margaret snapped keeping her posture straight and knees together. Ackley, Odores' husband, gulped and gave Jennifer a reassuring smile. “I'm sure you'll get in, at first we didn't think Wanda would get the letter because she — she's a hard person to deal with, she rarely spoke, so we didn't know if she had done magic yet or not, but then — ”Margaret groaned, interrupting him, “being surrounded by stupid Hufflepuffs wasn't my way of spending this evening.”Hurbert coughed slightly calling attention to himself. “The last person to be a... a squib on this family was my — well, our,” he glanced at Margaret who looked away as she placed a hand on her neck, “great-great-great aunt.”“Zada Staghart is someone you do not want to be, my dear,” Jennifer's mother said, chuckling, “the stupid woman killed herself at 16, couldn't handle the pressure — her parents were the ones having to deal with the disappointment of having a squib of a daughter and she was the one feeling,” she raised her hands to quote, “pressure.”Jennifer’s aunt asked, “how do you know that?”Margaret rolled her eyes, “if you spend more time reading the family's history instead of, whatever it is that you do, you'd know.”Jenny’s uncle glared at Margaret, “don't talk to my wife like that.”Margaret laughed, it could be heard all over the living room from how tall the ceiling was, “what are you going to do? Doubt you can even do magic.”Jennifer sighed and looked outside the window as her mother and uncle fought about meaningless things. She got lost as they started fighting about random family members. Her mother insulted Ackley's brother, Evius Whiddon, who was actually married to her dad’s sister which, led him to start fighting with his wife — something he never succeeded at doing.As she walked towards the window, to at least enjoy the snowfall, she saw an owl outside with a letter in its mouth, and it rested on a bench outside. She looked at her mother with a smile, “I got it.” Her mother didn't hear her, she was standing up with a finger pointed at Ackley while Odores had a wand pointed at her. Jennifer walked towards the door that led outside and opened it. She walked towards the owl and took the letter from its mouth, she nodded at it and it flew off; she waved at it as it went. “What are you doing outside?” Wanda, her cousin, who had come with her parents to see them, asked. Jennifer waved the Hogwarts letter at her 12 years older cousin. “I got a letter.”Wanda ran to her. “Well, open it, Jenny.”Jennifer opened the letter with a bright smile on her face. She read it carefully as her mother taught her, and when she read the final words she looked up at her cousin. “I will be going to Hogwarts next year,” she said, biting her lower lip.“Oh!” Wanda yelled, rushing to hug her, “I'm so happy for you. I hope you'll get in Slytherin, it fits you so well.”Jennifer chuckled. She had to get into Slytherin, otherwise, her mother would kill her. Her great-grandparents had gone to Slytherin, her grandparents had gone to Slytherin, her parents had gone to Slytherin, her cousins had gone to Slytherin, and she had to go to Slytherin as well, especially being an only child. “I'm sure I'll get in.”Wanda pulled back from Jennifer. “Before Hogwarts, I felt so lonely, like I had no purpose, now I feel like a talented witch who no one will mess with — being in Slytherin gave me that. I love how... proud we all were, I loved being there, I hope you do as well, Jenny.”Jennifer knew that she had to go to Slytherin, however, she felt like she didn't want to compete for anything — she just wanted to do everything fair, to live relaxed for 7 years. She was scared that she would be in Hufflepuff, her mum talked about them like they were the worst house and she knew her mother was always right.“You aren't going to be in Hufflepuff,” Wanda said, looking at her in the eyes. Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows — she always did that, knew what she was thinking, but she had no idea how. Maybe it was a witch thing. “And, if you are, it's fine, they're fine. I'm sure your mother would change her mind about them if you got into that house."Jenny was sure they wouldn't."You know, my grandparents, my dad's parents, they were both Gryffindors and they wished to raise their children as such, do you know what happened?”She shook her head.“They got a son in each house, the youngest was the Gryffindor. They felt worried at first, but then they realized that...” she chuckled, “you can't force a house on someone nor can you expect them to be something you want. It's much like everything else, everyone's different.”Jennifer looked down. Wanda made sense, but why was everyone so obsessed with being a pure-blood if being different was ok?“Let's tell the others before they seriously injure each other,” Wanda said with a laugh. She placed an arm around Jennifer and started walking towards the door, “you know, I think your mum likes you, she’s just really protective.”Jennifer chuckled. “Yeah, I guess.”“I'm certain that she wouldn't truly say those things if she knew they hurt you.”“I guess...” Jennifer murmured, faking a smile at Wanda. She was pretty sure she knew it hurt her and that's why she told them. Everyone was happy with her letter and soon the worry was about what house she would be in, she had to deal with that for the next 10 months. She really hoped she'd get in Slytherin.
November 18th 1943

(Sixth Year)
Jennifer fell on the couch next to Tom, startling him a bit as he held the book closer to himself. “Hello, Mr. Riddle.”He rolled his eyes, closing the book and putting it on his lap. “Hey.”“You know whose birthday is tomorrow?” she asked, grinning at him. She could tell he was trying not to smile because he refused to look at her. She loved the effect she had on him.“Not quite sure, Jenny,” he mumbled. “I’m not good with birthdays.”She chuckled at that. "Oh, I thought the last one was so memorable." She raised her hand to grab his chin and make him face her.He immediately grabbed her wrist and glared at her. "Aren't all your birthdays memorable, darling?"She ignored his comment, sitting more up straight. She twisted her wrist away from his grip and tried to grab his face again. “Whose birthday is tomorrow, Riddle?”"Don’t touch me,"  he said, pushing her hand away again.That was so rich coming from him. He loved touching her out of the blue, made her want to burn her entire skin afterwards. "Do I need a reservation to be allowed? A change of name?" she mocked."Be careful, your fake jealousy act is starting to sound a little too real."Jennifer got on her knees on the couch, trying her best with the big skirt she was wearing, he was eyeing her movements and that look he couldn't deny. "Like you hate it."He rolled his eyes throwing the book to the side. "What were we even talking about?"She grabbed his shoulders and straddled him in the common room, a public place anyone could enter at any moment. It was quite late already and both used that as an excuse to feel safe. He let a breath as she sat down on his legs, a relief after weeks without it."You're so fucking hot, y'know." His eyes went up and down, his expression just clear-cut horniness. He didn't seem to be playing it up like their usual bantering. Jennifer widened her eyes at his comment like she hadn't been the one to do an outrageous act. "Cursing, Tommy? What got into you?"He raised his eyebrows at her, closing his mouth as he was basically drooling at her. "Ah, yes, Jennifer, you're so perfect. Thought you finally got the courage to fuck me right here, but you're still just playing, right?"She felt speechless. Wait. She was in charge of the situation, what was he doing? "You don't m — mean that, don't be fucking stupid."He grabbed her hips tightly and pulled her closer. She winced at the pain of his fingers. She didn't want to enjoy the situation anyway. But, when she felt something poking her through her undergarments. Merlin, why? She had opened the barrel they always safely closed and nailed shut. "Thought you hated naive people, Jenny.""Fuck you," she scoffed. "But, I suppose that'd mean you hate yourself."She should’ve stayed quiet and pulled away, he was just taunting her because she touched him, but she could never keep her mouth shut. “Is this what you do with your girlfriends?”His eyes slipped from the burning gaze on hers to her mouth. “No, usually I'm inside them, Jennifer."
Was he? Inside other girls? Making their skin burn, and their veins pump more blood? Was he making them blush and hide their head on the pillow as he said something dirty? Did they get him off? Did they get him off as good as she could? Did they just lie there? Did he tell every single one of them they were the best girl he ever had? He was a fucking liar. Did they like being lied to? Did he feel as they came on his cock and told them they were such a good girl, just for him? Did he?
She was very glad she was much better at Legilimency than back in the day. As her mind yelled at her, he wasn’t looking away from her lips and it was making her anxious.“Can you let me go now?”"Oh, but don't you want that? The same they get? What did you get on top of me for?" he questioned, pushing his hips up. She was very sure she already got much more than they could ever dream of. There was no one that touched him like her, otherwise he wouldn't keep coming back as if she was the very last galleon in his pocket."I'm not a copy of the sluts you fuck," she angrily spat back at him. He widened his eyes at her wording, smirking as if he won a contest. She knew he did, she was reacting, and he was winning their unspoken game. "Stop fucking smiling.""Here was I thinking you liked my smile, where did I get that idea?" he mocked, pushing his hips again but leaving the grip on her hips. She eyed his lips too and she could just — no. "That doesn't mean I want to fuck you."Tom laughed and in a swift motion his expression dropped and he grabbed her hair, pushing her towards him. He leaned into her ear as she groaned in pain. "No, but the way you're grinding your hips into mine does."She hadn't even noticed and the realization brought her shame. Not because of the act, she had long gone gotten over the fact she wasn't going to marry a virgin, but because it was Tom. He worked her so easily, and she had the same effect. Didn't make her stop, she just met his thrusts with equal vigour."If you wanna be fucked you can just ask, you know I'll give it to you." He had to emphasize every word like he was winning, this was a competition, like a smug bastard. She hated him."You're so stupid—""Drop your act, you're not in control, so shut the fuck up," he added and let go of her hair.Jennifer gasped at the sentence. She couldn't even curse herself, she loved the way playing with fire hurt and burned, she loved burning. She pulled back to look him in the eye. She can burn but she's not gonna lose. "You're not deflowering me on my birthday, Tom, don't get your hopes up. Only after marriage."Tom cringed and laughed at her words, pushing her to lie down on the space on the couch they weren't occupying. He quickly got on top of her and leaned into her ear. "Baby, please, just the tip. I won't go all the way, please," he joked back at her. The way he moved his hips into hers was not in line with the jokey tone of his words. She let a moan escape as he grinded against her perfectly, but quickly composed herself. He leaned back and smirked at her at the sound which she just ignored. "No, that still definitely counts. Y'know, you can just stick it in my ass, I just love you that much."He hummed at her reply, in a way that made her lightheaded, maybe from the blood going to other places, in which she was slowly building up to something — more like fastly. "I'd love to fuck your ass, Jenny, don't worry."She opened her eyes, which she didn't even know she closed and looked at the grin that made her want to kill him. "You can't say that," she groaned, punching his shoulders, her force weakened by her horniness. Tom laughed at her and his hand went down to move under her skirt. "Oh, no. Hit me harder.""Tom," she warned but opened her legs as he moved his hand between her legs."You're not gonna come like this, just let me," he argued, but still not the explanation she wanted. Did she even want to stop him? Not like they hadn't done worse before. But, that was the problem, her letting it happen so easily. "You're gonna regret doing that and not talk to me for a month."He stalled his movements. "Jenny just shut the fuck up. Let me touch you, please," he pleaded, kneading her between her legs and she could hardly think like that.Jennifer moved her hips with his hand. "We're in public."He ripped her tights and pulled her underwear to the side. "I can get you off quickly, don't be dumb."She moaned louder than earlier as he touched her directly. He wasted no time to rub her clit, slow and steady. "If you act weird after this, I'm gonna..." she trailed off as her mind cleared her train of thought.He chuckled but didn't say anything. She felt herself getting closer and closer at every rub of his fingers, it felt much better than when she did it. She hated that was always the thought that crossed her mind when he touched her.And not many thoughts were allowed in those situations or she'd run off immediately. He leaned into her ear. "Lemme taste you."The hot white flash came back but she instantly grabbed his shoulders. "No."Tom actually whined in her ear and she didn't even know he could make that sound. "Please, Jenny."She wasn't sure why he was asking her. Usually, he'd just do it, but he seemed scared she'd actually pull away. If he didn't ask she'd let him, she knew it. "We're not crossing those lines right now.""Fuck you, you're such a bitch," he said and moved his fingers faster. She felt herself instantly close to the edge. She so badly wanted his fingers inside her, but she wouldn't ask, and he wasn't in a taking mood, so she knew she wasn't going to get it. It annoyed her, made her want to prolong it, to beg. Fuck him."I'm close, Tom."He continued his pace. "A bitch that I can get off in less than 5 minutes."She ignored him and chased that high as he chuckled at her moans. "I'm going to just fuck you next time, Jennifer, don't worry," he said, and fuck, she always forgot, he can read her thoughts. Especially at that moment, was definitely so easy. She didn't care, she just tightly gripped the back of his neck, scratching the skin there as she came, walls clenching around nothing. "That's right, come for me."She opened her eyes and glared at him, but as the oxytocin filled her brain all she wanted was to hold him close. He let her, leaning against her shoulder. "This wasn't a challenge for you to switch it around, y'know?"He slid his fingers down and she opened her legs wider as she gasped. "It's always a challenge between us, I happened to want to win this time.""Oh, right cause you're so..." she cut herself off and his fingers slid into her. She was sensitive and as he slowly moved them she let herself enjoy it, throwing her head back and sighing. He took them out and put his fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean. "I hate you."He winked at her. "Almost your birthday, right? Early gift?" he said around the fingers in his mouth.She punched his shoulder so hard he groaned but he laughed it off. "You said we wouldn't do this again."Tom laid next to her on the tight space of the couch making her have to lie half on top of him. "Wasn't counting on you being so brave."Jennifer couldn't even argue she knew what she was doing from the beginning, subconsciously, but she did. "Wasn't counting on you being so horny."She felt his shoulder as he shrugged. She hugged his chest harder and sighed. "If anyone sees us here it's gonna be talk of the year.""Felicity would kill herself, maybe I'd like that," Jennifer replied. He laughed."Wouldn't we all?"She felt the prickles inside her chest and sick at the same time. She didn't understand why. "Thought you loved her.""No, you didn't, don't be stupid."Fuck him and his smart answers. "Already am for fucking you."He scoffed as he raised his hand to play with her hair. She had to try so hard to not feel anything. "So dramatic, let it be what it is."What is it? She could never get the answer to that. "Do you want me to get you off?" she asked instead.He kissed the top of her head and her heart leaped. "It's late, another time.""If there's one," she added with a grin. Both knew it was a hard habit to quit they had tried and tried before, always to no avail."You'll owe me, then you can't get away from it," he replied. Jennifer liked being told what to do, given no choice, it was comfortable. Made her feel young and dumb again (as if she wasn't still both those things). Choices ruined her life.Or maybe choices revolving Tom did.

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February 17th 1939

(First Year)
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"Hogwarts is such a weird place. Not like anything else I've ever been in. There's the magic, of course, but there's also... freedom. Just thinking about having to go back home in the Summer, it's scary. I'm used to my mom, to everything, but before it felt so much easier to follow, even when I went back there on Holidays it was so... odd.

Everyone here seems to sense freedom for the first time and it reveals what we've all felt our entire lives, whether a child of the best pureblood family or curious mudbloods. Everyone loves everything. I have a feeling with the years it won't be so simple.

Merlin, I don't want to write about him anymore, he's so stupid. But, I can't not. Why did he help me? I suppose, not me, but the girls, everyone, why wouldn't he want chaos? I'm overthinking, he's just Tom and he just wants to look good to others, he can't manipulate me anymore, I just can't let —"

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The door slammed so hard she closed her diary in a startled motion. It's Dorothea, she was crying, she never saw her crying. Even during the fight, she wasn't.She got up from the bed as Dorothea sat down near the door. "Dory, what's — ""Don't fucking call me that!" she yelled back.Jenny had never seen her like that before. She knew that desperation, sitting on the floor sobbing. Usually how she felt after a forced conversation with her mom. "What's wrong?" She shook her head as she brought her knees to her chest, hugging them. "Please, tell me," she said as she approached her, getting on her knees to be at her level.Dorothea pouted as tears kept running down her cheeks. "Malfoy. Fuck, I'm so stupid," she whined as she sobbed into her hands. Jennifer didn't know how to help. It was making her uncomfortable, seeing her cry, so desperately, why did she have to be there as she came in? She also felt bad about leaving, minus the fact Dorothea was sitting in front of the door. "Please, breathe and tell me what happened."Dory sniffled as she tried to breathe as Jenny told her. "I'm sorry, for being so lame right now."Jenny touched her knee, rubbing the skin, trying to be comforting. "You're not, I just need to know what happened to know what to say."It was going to be some boy problem again and that's all she heard when she hung out with those girls. More she tried to avoid Tom, more she remembered why she enjoyed his presence. Why did he have to be such a jerk?!"You helped me, I wanna help you," she offered. There was a tightness in her chest, expanding as more tears were spilled, she could not handle that. Other people's problems. Everyone was so annoying."After the whole bullshit with Felicity I talked to him, I didn't go out with him, of course, and I had to say something," she rambled, cleaning her tears on her robes. "Glad you didn't, he sounded like a jerk."She chuckled. "Yeah, really good looking one."Jennifer gulped as that reminded her of someone. She hated that she could relate."Anyway, he was all like you're mental, and I didn't want it to be a big deal, he started to get angry and he called me a harlot.""Sounds like something he'd do," Jenny said, sitting down on the floor as her knees were aching. Why did these people bother with boys and relationships? They could just wait until they were older and get assigned the right person for them, that seemed more simple."It is, very much so. He told everyone that I tried to," her face frowned as she struggled to say the words, " tried to pull him off, I guess. Everyone believes him and they're being weird, they're saying things and, fuck, why?"Jennifer didn't know what to say, she gaped at her."Doesn't help that Felicity just hates me now, it's like everyone is against me," she said.Jennifer shook her head. "They're not, it'll pass trust me. Everyone always thinks I'm dating Riddle and most times they forget about it."Dorothea's lips formed a line. "I'm sorry for participating in that, you guys just seem so close, I thought it was really obvious.""He's close with lots of girls, even saw him talk to you on Valentine's..." Jenny couldn't help but say, she hated the way it sounded, the words like bullets towards Dorothea who was already down, sobbing on the floor.She chuckled. "He couldn't figure out how to do this potion and he was ashamed of asking Professor Slughorn, he thinks he's such a perfect student, it would ruin the charm."Tom, not knowing how to do a potion? They're so easy, how? "Oh.""Were you... jealous?" she asked and the usual teasing smile was back on her face. She learned nothing. "I see you're feeling better," Jenny said as she got up, "can you move, please?"Dorothea got up and smiled at her. "You so are!"Jennifer felt her cheeks heat up and her eyes drift to the floor, not that she was very good at eye contact usually."Don't be embarrassed! He's very good looking, normal for you to feel that way. And, you guys talk a lot," she said still with a smile that made Jenny want to throw a curse at her. "I'm not jealous, it was just odd."Dorothea nodded. "Right, love, I'm sure it was..."Jennifer looked her in the eyes again and rolled her eyes at the smug expression."Glad you brought it up before you'd go all Felicity on me."Jenny couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I don't like him.""Me neither."Good. "I don't care."Dorothea caressed her arm with her hand. "If there was a girl he'd date around here, it'd probably be you, so don't worry."She had a feeling she'd be the last. "Are you feeling better?"Dorothea dropped her smile. "Getting there, I know it'll pass, getting there will be awful, but I'll manage.""It'll be over before you know it."
February 20th 1939

(First Year)
Jennifer waited as Tom finished his talk with the Herbs' Professor. He had a question about the effect of the spells on humans, and the professor looked quite worried. Jenny would be too if she didn't already know he could torture people with his mind, seemed quite late on the worry train. Tom somehow made the worried look leave the professor's face and as he turned around Jenny saw the pleasant smile on his face drop into a nonchalant expression. He freaked her out sometimes. "Don't worry, I have all day," Jenny said as he casually packed his stuff. He looked at her and dropped his pencil on the floor. "Oops, sorry, just clumsy," he said as he slowly bent down to grab it.Jenny grabbed her wand and threw a Flipendo at his pencil making it fly to the end of the room, near some other plants. He glared at her as he kneeled on the ground. "Oops, clumsy," she repeated as she grinned at him.He got up and chucked as he used a Carpe Retractum to grab the pencil easily. Unlike Jenny he didn't have to say anything or use his wand and it send a shiver down Jennifer's spine. She wished to be better than him just to pull that smirk off his face. "I would've used that on you if I wasn't trying to show you my good behaviour," he said as he finally packed up, throwing the strap of bag over his head to his shoulder. They started leaving the place. "Glad you mention that, that's exactly why I waited for you," she told.He glanced at her as they walked. "Can I start being mean again?"Jenny rolled her eyes as she considered just leaving him but they were both headed to the common room, the classes had ended, so it would be useless. "You can if you want me to never talk to you again.""Wouldn't happen, but continue."He was definitely right, but she didn't indulge him. "You heard what Malfoy's been saying?"Tom laughed. "He wished.""Right, but if he says it, it's true for all those dumb twits.""Careful with your words," he mocked.She ignored him. It didn't feel as bad as it used to using certain words, but only because there was no other way to describe those kids. She wouldn't start cursing, though, she was certain that just wasn't her. "I just feel bad for Dorothea." They entered the castle."You're friends with her?" he wondered, furrowing his eyebrows at her as he stopped walking.She also stopped , pulling him towards a less busy corner of the entrance. "So are you, don't you go to her for advice?""For advice?"Jennifer felt embarrassed at having said that because then she'd have to explain. "On Valentine's."He gasped as he realized what she meant. "You are jealous?""I saw her crying because of Malfoy said and I want to help," she revealed, ignoring his questioning. She was not, but he could've asked her, she was also good at Potions, she was definitely better than Dorothea, had the professor ever even said her name ever? "I just didn't go to you because you were in your dorm all day doing who knows what," he told, ignoring her just the same. "I think maybe you could do something to him, scare him and make him confess it's all a lie," she said as she ignored his gaze.Tom sighed. "Fine, let's just move on. What do I get from helping Dorothea?""Move on? I am not jealous, it was just stupid of you to ask her when you could've waited to ask me, I was in my room like 2 hours, the day has 24, for your information," she complained, her teeth locked together as she glared at him. Tom licked his lips as he looked to the side. "You're jealous because I talked to Dorothea? Since when is this normal, Garrick?" "And you say her first name like it's nothing, but keep using my last one like we're formal coworkers." She didn't care about the last name usage, it was the most common there, but she felt like she was losing the argument, she had to win something."You also use my last one, it's part of your whole repressed upbringing," he insulted, waving his hand at her.She slapped his hand as she gasped. "Someone wants another 2 months of no contact, don't they, Riddle?""Are you trying to manipulate me when you want, no, need my help?"Jennifer shrugged as she gave him a fake smile. "Aren't you the expert?"He sighed and she knew he couldn't deny it, it brought her extreme joy. "I know most times I'm probably the unreasonable asshole one, but what am I supposed to say here? No, Jennifer, I'll never talk to her again?"When he dropped her name she forgot why they were even arguing, it felt nice, felt intimate even though he called almost everyone by their first name. He chuckled as she didn't answer. "See? I know your name too, don't be so annoyed."She sighed and suppressed the smile behind her cheeks. "Can you do what I asked?""You're smart, don't say ask like you didn't demand," he said, "of course I'll do it. If you promise to drop your guards."Jennifer nodded. He shouldn't be making any demands himself, but she'd let it pass. "Feel like I have already.""Formally.""Merlin, Riddle, you're so insufferable, yes, I'll drop it formally. But, if you do something similar again..." she stared deep into his eyes as if to pass the message."I know. Wouldn't want you any other way." He held his hand up for a handshake and she scoffed. "Deal?"She shook her head, but couldn't resist as he raised an eyebrow and stretched his hand further. She grabbed it and they shook on it. "Deal."
That felt like the most honest conversation they ever had.

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February 24th 1939

(First Year)
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"Darling, diary,

Malfoy told everyone what he said was bull untrue. People laughed it out as if it didn't ruin Dorothea's reputation for a week.

I can't believe this means I have to finally forgive Tom. At least, he really promised me something and it's easier to throw it in his face in case he breaks it than some empty promise. Hasn't he waited weeks for this anyway?

Did it even mean anything?

I don't wanna think about it. About Tom. 
I think I lo like He's really interesting. I think I fancy him . Even writing this down is hard, aah. He's so stupid and annoying and too smart and he fakes so well that he's such a nice guy. Did I fall for the nice guy charade? 
No.

I don't wanna write about it.

Easter break will be interesting. Will I seem different to my mom? I feel different. I hope I don't get in trouble. Surprisingly, also don't wanna write about that. I have to keep this diary here or my mom might see it and all the things I've said. Things I never even thought about before Hogwarts.

Anyway, thankful for Tom, too thankful, and just wanting school to be over."

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June 19th 1939

(First Year)
           The leaving feast was even greater than the other ones. The food was always great, of course, but something about the dread of going home made it more meaningful. She hadn't been home since Easter's break and that was surprisingly fine, her mom didn't really care about her experience at Hogwarts, and her dad asked lots of questions since he hadn't seen her since Christmas. She had such anxiety about going back and somehow more as she left. Did they save all the sermons for the Summer holidays?She'd find out the next day, as it would be the day to return home. She was sitting near her friends. Felicity still wouldn't even look at Dorothea, but she didn't seem to mind that Jennifer talked to her. And, Jenny did enjoy her, she was a bit intrusive, but as long as she didn't say anything too gossipy they were fine. Willow followed what Felicity wanted, not that she personally minded Dorothea.Dory was fine, though. She had lots of friends in different Houses, which made her wonder why she was in Slytherin, maybe just because she was really into gossip and manipulating people to get it. Which seemed less like a maybe and more like a definite the more Jenny thought it through. Jennifer never talked to people from other Houses, it seemed wrong. Maybe Ravenclaws, they had their head in the right place, but no ambition to follow anything worthwhile. So, maybe not, talking to them would be boring and get nowhere, they'd go on and on about some subject and she'd ask what they wanted to do when they were older and they'd short-circuit.It would be weird. Not seeing the people she saw every day for two months. Being under her parents' gaze. They'd definitely ask what she learned and make her show it to them. Would she be able to? Was she going to fail and start being punished once more?Jenny stared at her finished plate, some food still in it that she did not want to eat any longer, she was full already. Or at least she had to be, couldn't start filling herself up with food just because she felt anxious, would be a bad habit. At least that's what her mom always told her. Before she could grab another piece of chicken someone touched her shoulder. "Wanna go outside?" Tom asked.Jenny looked back at him and instinctively smiled. He smiled back. She heard a cough and looked at the sound ― it was Dorothea who was sitting right next to her. She rolled her eyes as she noticed the smirk on her expression. "If  you're gonna make those faces, you're coming too." Jennifer got up and grabbed Dorothea's arm before she could answer. But, she seemed very glad to follow them both with a grin.Jenny looked at Tom who raised his eyebrows at her. "Scared of being alone with me?""What's wrong with a little company?" she retorted, looking forward ahead as they sneaked outside. She wouldn't say scared, but she didn't look forward to it. They stepped outside and Dorothea paced ahead of them going to sit on the grass. Jennifer shook her head at how excited she seemed. "You're that excited to go back home?"Dory fell back on the grass, staying star-fished on the ground. "I mean, yeah, aren't you guys?"Jenny and Tom looked at each other with a knowing expression. "Why would we?" Jennifer wondered out loud."I don't know why you would, but I want to see my family again, my sister, it's going to be so much fun teacher some magic we learned here," she said, eyes closed as she laid there on the grass.Jennifer felt a pain in her heart. She'd never have that. She looked at Tom who kept his expression blank, which usually meant there was something. She didn't know anything about his family, how they were, if he had siblings, did he like them? Did they like him? What were his parents like? By their previous shared look, she assumed he shared a close experience to hers. "Valid reason. I think I prefer learning rather than teaching," Jenny replied with a chuckle."Me too," Tom muttered as he sat down next to Dorothea, Jennifer followed him, sitting next to him, instead of next to Dory. She sat up and looked at them with a smile. "That's why you guys are so perfect for each other.""Because we like learning?" Tom questioned."Yes, but also because you're all mysterious and hang out where no one can see you ― seriously have you two made out yet?" Jennifer felt her cheeks get hot and she loved that it was night so Dory couldn't tease her about it. "Merlin, shut up.""If we had, you'd be the first to find out probably," Tom replied, not affected by her remark."I sure hope so," she added."Is Felicity still ignoring you?" Tom asked. Jenny was confused as to why he cared. "Yeah," Dorothea replied sadly. "It's fine, I get why she's upset.""I don't," Tom replied."Me neither," Jenny added. "She made up an idea of you in her head and went crazy on you because of it."She scoffed. "If you cared that much you wouldn't talk to her as much as you do.""We share a dorm, it'd be awkward if I didn't," she defended."Which I'm also on, you think it isn't weird for me?" Jennifer opened her mouth to reply but she wasn't sure how to defend herself. It wasn't like she liked Felicity more. "I'm not going to create drama with her out of nowhere, she already glares at me for hanging out with you.""Didn't take you for such a compliant and docile creature," Dorothea argued.Jennifer gasped at her word usage."Are you kidding? She's the picture-perfect example of compliant and docile," Tom replied."What's wrong with following the rules?" Jenny whined. That was such a weird offense to her. Wasn't it the right thing? What's wrong with the right thing?Tom chuckled. "You're lucky you're cute."Dorothea raised her eyebrows at Jenny and dropped them with a smirk. "I..." Jenny sighed. "You guys are annoying.""Y'know, as much I see that, I also can't say she's so perfect as you think, Tom. She hangs out with you."Tom frowned his face at her. "I'm the definition of perfect.""Perfect isn't this aloof," she told, pointing in between the both of them. "You two can fool all of them," she motioned to the castle, "but, I see it, you hate all of us.""Maybe we just hate you," Tom replied with a fake smile.She rolled her eyes and touched her chest as if offended. "I'm glad I can make you two bond." Then suddenly got up. "Anyway, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone," she announced.Jennifer groaned. "If when we come back from Summer break you're still with that," she waved her hand around, "whatever it is ― I'm going to learn Dark Magic just to kill you." Dorothea winked at her. "Enjoy your last hours alone." "Stop implying that!" Jennifer yelled as she walked away laughing.Tom leaned back on his hands and looked at her with a smile. He looked gorgeous. "The more you complain the more she'll tease you.""Tease me? She's also teasing you."Tom raised an eyebrow at her. "Do I seem... teased?"Jennifer rolled her eyes. "You're never teased.""If you say so.""But, seriously, why are you never teased? Do you have no feelings? Shame? Anything?" Jenny wondered, already raising her voice at him. Tom lied back like Dorothea earlier, his hands behind his head. "Not when I don't feel personally attacked by it.""Personally attacked? How many times do I have to say I do not ―" "Yeah, you don't like me, got it. Y'know, you say it so much I'm starting to think you do."Jennifer looked back at him, turning fully around to face him. "I don't," she insisted, clearing some grass from her knees, it didn't work very well, her skirt was very stained and it was bothering her. He watched as she tried to pick away the grass on her thighs and skirt. She had such a disgusted expression. "Last chance to tell me you do, you won't see me for two months.""In which they can dissipate," she replied, looking at her hand that was also dirty. "Oh, no."He sat up and grabbed her wrist, making her look at him. "Relax, one second of your life." "I'm relaxed." She struggled against his grip but he maintained it."You're worried about grass you can make disappear with a simple spell."Jennifer rolled her eyes. "Do you rely on magic for everything?"Tom sighed and pulled her as he laid down, she fell next to him and yelled at the wet grass underneath her. "Just enjoy it," he whispered in her ear.She cringed at the feeling of the grass but didn't move. He resumed his position with his hands behind his head. "How's this enjoyable?" she whined.He looked at her and saw her try to scrub the grass off her arms. He grabbed her chin and pushed her head up."What are you ―" she shut up as she saw the stars above them."Enjoy it. Stop overthinking." He let go of her and laid back down. She noticed some stars falling down, a white trail behind them. "I didn't notice.""Of course you didn't, you're all up there with stupid thoughts. Now, make a wish, Garrick.""Making a wish does nothing." She closed her eyes and made a wish. I hope everything's alright this Summer. "Some things are nice to believe in." It was weird thinking about Tom making wishes to stars. What would he wish about? What didn't he already have?She opened her eyes again and remembered what he said just seconds before. "It's not my fault they're there, y'know?""It isn't, but you decide if you can let them go for one night."Jennifer shook her head. "Not that simple, Riddle.""I know you're scared, I can feel it off you. You have nothing to be scared of.""You'd know better than me, weren't you in my head?" she softly asked.Tom looked to his left to stare at her, she couldn't look back. "That's why I know you shouldn't be scared, you're better than your mum, much better than she'll ever be. I just know it."She felt herself getting teary-eyed at his words. "Is this you pretending to be nice?""Look at me," he ordered and his tone was so demanding she couldn't help but just look. "You'll be okay, Garrick.""If you're wrong it's going to hurt more, don't say that." His eyes felt like an ocean she was sinking into and his eyes were dark black underneath the moonlight. So maybe like space, a vast space with no shooting stars like the ones above them. She wanted to be the shooting star in his space, the only one."Then, make it be right."She looked away from his eyes before she fell into them. "You're so dramatic.""You're the one who likes me," he teased."I don't ―" she started."No one's here. Who are you lying to?" Tom questioned, still keeping his gaze on hers. She liked and hated it at the same time, the conflicting emotions he could give her better than anyone. "Sure, I enjoy your presence, I like being your friend, but that's mostly because everyone here sucks and you know that." The conversation made her chest tight, her heart almost fly out of her mouth. She didn't know how people like Felicity or Dorothea even kissed a guy, or even tell him they liked him.He chuckled. "You're so good at deluding yourself that I feel like I'm catching it."It felt like one more thing he had over her. You like me and I know, you can't be away from me. "Would it make a difference?" she whispered, so low he barely heard her if he wasn't staring attentively at her ― and they weren't alone outside. "If I did.""Do you want it to?" he whispered back. Could it even make a difference? Last day of school, two months with other people, with their families. Yes, she wanted it to, but it wouldn't. "No," she quickly answered.He nodded, she could see the motion from her peripheral vision. "Then, it won't."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

A
ugust 5th 1939

(Summer)
Nothing was fine. Jennifer glared at her ceiling. She wanted to destroy it. She could not sleep at 9 pm, but that was the curfew her stupid mum thought was best. Whatever she wants. She looked to the side and saw 00:13. That didn't seem normal either. What was even normal, was she normal? Nothing about her life was, it never was. Even if she hadn't lived anything else, her year at Hogwarts had taught her she was very different, she hated it.She had so much anger. Pressure building, threatening to slip from her fingers. She could actually punch something, who cares about wands? If her mum could use her hands on her so could she. No. She couldn't. She couldn't do anything.Every day was torture and she wanted the Second Year to start so badly, preferred those annoying and intruding people to the isolation and maniac thoughts she had then. The worst part was things were always like this, and she knew how to handle it. She could sleep safely at night even with the way her mum acted and berated her. She had anger, but it hadn't consumed her entire being before. She had a theory that it was the magic, now stronger making things worse. Or just coming of age. Whatever it was she wanted to punch something. Even worse she didn't have the diary to let out all she was feeling, it was all in her head, screaming. She turned to the other side and started at the other wall. Perfect pristine white walls. What if she wanted a different color?Her parents weren't even impressed. Even her dad treated her newfound skills as casual magic you learn anywhere. She had all Outstanding exams and they didn't even care. Fuck them. The word hung in her mind and she allowed it to echo like never before. She sat up on the bed and pushed her bedsheets back. It was so hot. She got up and tiptoed around her bedroom as her floor creaked in some places. Her door was half opened as her parents didn't allow her to close it, ever. Her house was so big it didn't matter anyway, rarely anyone passed there besides servants, but they were more respectful than her parents. She went down the hall to the library. She stood near the bookshelf she most sought as a child. Her parents had a stash of Dark Magic books. She was pretty sure most of it was illegal, but somehow they had them. Did they have a protection spell? She wasn't sure, she didn't know enough about it yet. She could see them, though, clearly. She reached for the Secrets of the Dark Arts book. She had seen some pages, mostly at night like those where she was too curious for her own good. But, never with such anger as she had then. When she opened the book it instantly flipped to a page. She looked around but she was still alone, so she was confused. She didn't do it. Had she?She looked at the page and it had information on Jinxes, Hexes, and Curses. Their names and functions. Why was that page open, she wouldn't be doing any of those. Especially Curses, she'd be caught. What was she even thinking? The book exerted an energy that passed through her veins and it increased the longer she was holding it.She put the book back and let out a breath she had been holding. She turned around and leaned on the bookshelf then breathless.   "Jennifer, come here!" her mum called. She had a calm voice, surprisingly. She got up from the couch and walked towards the dining area. Her mum and dad were sitting at the dining table. She felt her heartbeat increase instantly at their expressions. Her mum motioned to the chair and it went back with magic. Jenny sat on it, keeping her back straight. Whenever they talked to her like that, both of them, it was to reprimand something they both agreed she did wrong. "What happened?" Jennifer wondered, looking between them. "Do you have something to tell us?" her dad asked.She furrowed her eyebrows trying to list in her mind all the things she could've done wrong. "What do you mean?""I didn't raise you to be this dumb, Jennifer," her mum firmly said, her expression turning into a glare. How could she have had such a calm voice earlier?"What am I dumb for?" she casually asked, looking her mum dead in the eyes. She tilted her head and raised her hand again, this time to send a gush of air toward Jennifer's cheek, it felt like a slap. Jennifer took it and looked back at her. "Don't talk back.""How am I supposed to answer you then?" she asked again, furrowing her eyebrows. Her cheek was still stinging and her mum gulped. "Jennifer, don't make this more complicated than it is," her dad said.She didn't even look at him, kept her gaze on her mother who glared right back at her. "What did I do?" Her mum grabbed something from the chair next to her. A book. Secrets of the Dark Arts. Jennifer's confidence went away and she could hear her own heartbeat in her ears, her parents probably could too. "This wasn't in the spot it was meant to be," her dad revealed.Jennifer shrugged. "Maybe the house-elf changed its place, they can be quite clumsy," she lied. Maybe they could take the blame for her, would be nice for a change.Margaret got up on her seat, Hulbert tried to grab her arm but she slapped his hand away. Jennifer rolled her eyes at the interaction. He was such a little bitch for her. "Are you trying to annoy me?" her mum asked.Jennifer leaned back on her seat and otherwise stayed perfectly still. "Why?""Lying is bad. Not correct. And I do not expect such things of you." Margaret held her hand up and a knife came flying from the kitchen. Jennifer widened her eyes as it went towards her. She held her arms up as it moved towards her. It cut her arm and she groaned in pain. She held her arm in her hands as the knife moved towards her neck, staying there, threatening. "This is correct?" Jennifer asked, glancing at her dad who was looking off to the side. Couldn't even face what his wife did to his daughter."I don't know what got into you, young lady, but it better leave or you'll have something to remember me by the next year at Hogwarts," she threatened, the knife digging more into her neck. Jennifer whimpered as it cut a bit of the flesh. It was a very sharp knife. Her breath was quite heavy so she accidentally moved towards it a bit. "Margaret," her dad said to his wife."I want to hear her admit it," her mum said as she kept staring at her daughter, held at knifepoint. "What do you need the book for, anyway?" Jennifer asked. "It's full of illegal stuff. Isn't that wrong?" Margaret smiled. It scared Jenny more than if she had glared at her. "What don't I need it for?"Jenny didn't quite understand, but the fact she was being threatened to tell the truth told her it had something to do with that. When did her mother start doing those things? Tom would love her. "I did it," she quickly said.Her mum pushed the knife more into her neck and she moaned in pain. "P — please, stop.""Margaret, stop," her dad spoke up."She can handle it," she argued. Jennifer could see the pleasure in her eyes from watching her daughter suffer."D - dad," she whimpered. There were tears in her eyes as she wondered for a moment if she could actually dig the knife into her throat. Hulbert raised his hand and the knife fell on the table. Jennifer leaned forward as she gasped. She looked down and her arm had a cut that was bleeding.Margaret looked at him bewildered."I think she got the idea, Margaret," he said to his wife.She looked back at Jennifer. "Go to your room."Jennifer wouldn't argue with that. She ran up to her room, closing the door even with the rules they had. She cried freely in her bedroom. It couldn't be heard downstairs so she didn't care to deafen the room. She looked down at her arm and as the tears fell from her eyes they fell on her arm. She wasn't going to heal it or bandage it, if she got a scar she'd wear it. She hoped her mum looked at her arm and felt bad.Would she feel bad? She moved to her vanity table and sat down on the chair. She looked at her neck in the mirror in front and noticed the blood also dripping down it. That entire moment was so short but it left her with such big scars. Why did she mock her? It was such an unconscious thing and she didn't know where it came from. Maybe from all the anger inside her, that was even worse after she got attacked and couldn't even defend herself.
She should've moved that knife toward her mother, stabbed her neck, watched the shock in her eyes, the blood dripping down the knife onto the table in front of them. Wanted to see her dad asking her 'what she had done' and holding his wife in his embrace. She would've smiled as the life left her mum's eyes. 
She held her hand up to her neck and pressed on the wound, she winced at the pain but it calmed down her anger, letting it out somewhere. She watched her cheeks change color in the mirror, red. She liked it, she felt embarrassed for liking it. She shook her head at the face in the mirror. 
Who was she anyway? 
She wanted the face to disappear, she wanted to disappear, be someone else. Why couldn't she have been born into a family that loved her? With normal people? Why couldn't she be normal? Why couldn't she like anyone? The only person she liked was even worse than her. Did she still like him? She barely thought about him, she was so consumed with everyday torture, with staying good, being good. She didn't want to be good.She raised her fist and punched the girl in the mirror. She kept her mouth shut as she groaned loudly. There was glass on her knuckles, there was shattered glass. She gasped at what she had done. She stayed quiet and tried to see if there was any noise outside. Jennifer shook her hand and let some of the glass fall down. She couldn't tell her parents, but she had to. She was going to get punished worse, she broke something.The panic inside her rose and she started crying harder. The pain of her hand filled her senses and there was no anger to make it tolerable. She heard a knock and she instantly gulped. "Master Jennifer, are you alright?" It was the house-elf, the one she wanted to blame earlier. Fuck. She felt bad, hearing his voice, the niceness behind it.She moved quickly to open her door and pushed him inside. "Don't say anything, please, I need you to fix that. Don't tell my parents," she ordered, looking down at the creature.He looked at the vanity table and at her, her hand, arm, and neck. He knew her mum and dad well and knew better than to ask questions. "It'll be hard." "Do it or I'll say you did it," she firmly replied. She wanted to take it back, she hated the scared look on his face, she looked to the side and sniffled."Ok. Let me take care of your hand too, then, master."
She wasn't sure how she'd explain that.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

September 1st 1939

(Second Year)
Tom's eyes flickered all around the train, he smiled and greeted some friends, always looking around even in the conversation he had with them. He needed to see Jenny. It had been so long and going back to the orphanage after the amazingness that was Hogwarts was torture. He studied, a lot. He inflicted some annoyances on some kids, but nothing major. He wanted to stay on the low. "You look puzzled, Riddle," he heard a female voice say behind him.He rolled his eyes before he turned around. "Felicity Starling, you look just the same," he said, eyeing her up and down.She giggled and he thought it was quite exaggerated. "Your voice is deeper," she said.Tom hadn't thought about that. No one had mentioned it to him either. "Good to know."She smiled. "I'm over Malfoy, y'know?"He looked around again. Still, no Jenny. "I'm happy for you.""I was so hung up over nothing, he wasn't worth all that," she said.He nodded. "Does that mean Dorothea is no longer a threat to you?" he questioned. He didn't really care about their drama, didn't affect him and his daily life at Hogwarts. "Please, she never was. That rumor was the closest thing she got to having him," she scoffed.That answered his question. "I'm pretty sure she left him, that's why he created the rumor," Tom argued.Felicity shrugged. "That's what she says. She mostly got rejected and feels embarrassed."
That didn't sound like something Dorothea would do.
"Better than being rejected and almost killing someone," Tom retorted. He liked the way her smile dropped to a frown.She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "He didn't reject me."He nodded. "Sure, he didn't, Starling." Felicity scoffed again and moved past him, her shoulder hitting his as she moved away. Tom chuckled at her. As he looked away from the angry little girl he saw Jennifer coming out of the other carriage. Her eyes instantly locked with his and she moved towards him. "Hey, I was wondering why I was having so much fun," she greeted. Her words held no weight when she had moved across the entire carriage just to talk to him.He smiled at her. "Glad I can be here to ruin it."She shook her head and moved a still perfectly made curl behind her ear. His smile diminished as he noticed the multiple scratch marks on her hand, they seem to had been healing for weeks, and there was just a crust on them. She noticed his gaze and visibly gulped. "Got a cat during the Summer?" he tried to lightly ask but she didn't chuckle. He looked around and moved closer to her. When she didn't answer he grabbed her arm and they both walked down the corridor to where the small closed rooms were."Riddle, it was nothing —""Was it your mother?" he instantly questioned.She sighed. "I just hurt myself on some glass."His eyes drifted to her neck as she had her head raised to look at him. "Was that some glass too?" he asked pointing to her neck.She shrugged. "Don't we all have scars?"Tom sat down on the seats available, she sat next to him. "Was it her?"Jennifer sighed. "The neck yeah, the hand it was me.""Don't lie for her.""I'm not lying. I punched a mirror."Tom tried to imagine that in his head. Jennifer punching a mirror, hurting herself on purpose... "If you're lying to me I also consider this a violation of our deal."Jennifer snorted. "You're gonna start torturing me if I'm lying to you?" she remarked.He grabbed her wrist to look at the marks on her hand once more. They did seem like what she was describing. "Not if you're already torturing yourself, running me out of my best job.""You think it's your best job because you did it once?" she asked.Tom chuckled and placed her hand on his, passing the tips of his fingers on her hand, around the scars and above them at places. He could hear the gulp she gave. He wondered if she still liked him. "Once to you."She turned her hand around and stroked his hand back. "So, I'm not special?"Tom hated the shiver that sent down his back, it was new and weird. He placed her hand down. "How did it happen? Why did you punch a mirror, Garrick?"She shrugged. "It just happened, I've been so — " she cut herself off to shake her head."So what?" he pressed but she continued shaking her head. "I don't wanna talk about it."Tom couldn't imagine why. Did she get angry? Did it happen in her house? Those seemed like easy things to explain. But, he probably wouldn't tell her either if the rolls were reversed, so it was fair."How was your Summer?" she asked after some silence between them.Tom's mind flashed to boredom. Kids asking how was his private school. Most were still scared. The scared look usually gave him pleasure, he fed on it. But, he was bored of it, he needed more, he needed to inflict more. "The usual."Jennifer scoffed. "I don't know what that is for you, Riddle.""Not how fun as Hogwarts is," Tom replied."That was so elucidative, thank you so much," she replied with a sardonic tone.Tom grabbed a strand of her hair and threw it on her face. She slapped his hand away and straightened it with a scowl. He liked that it messed the curls a bit, her trying to put it together made her hair more fluffy, less put together, ironically. It was fun seeing her like close to a mess. "It's not nice to answer like that, Garrick," he mocked back.She looked at him, still with the same scowl. "You're the one giving me lame answers. I ask you a question and you answer in the most boring way possible.""If you wanna know so badly enter my head," he replied with a smile."I don't think I'll ever be able to do that. That's the one thing you're good at.""One thing?" he repeated with a scoff. She could only dream of being as good as him."If it annoys you, yes, one thing."He opened his mouth to reply but contained himself, she just wanted to get away from the topic of conversation. "If you're interested in learning how to get in people's minds, I'm willing to teach."She instantly started making disapproving noises, looking away from him. Not that she kept eye contact for long usually.  "I already told you, I don't want to hear other people's thoughts.""Why do you think you wouldn't be able to control it?"Jennifer shrugged. "I'm not used to controlling things.""Doesn't mean you can't be good at it," Tom said with a smile.She looked at him again. "Why do you want to see me be this person I'm not so badly?""Jenny." The name was like honey on his lips, so sweet. He had never said it. He thought of her as Jenny, but he never allowed himself to say it. The glint in her eyes told him she felt like it was honey too. "I wouldn't say that if I didn't think you could do it."She got up. "You always say I let myself be manipulated or mistreated by my mum, but you also try to manipulate me, and you succeed."Tom furrowed his eyebrows. "Why are you overreacting?""I am reacting!" she exclaimed. That definitely looked like overreacting."You get mad easily, but not this easily...""Like when you got into my head and tortured me on my birthday? Was that too reactive for you, Riddle?" she questioned, jaw tight and eyes shooting daggers at him.Tom cleared his throat. "Technically, it wasn't your birthday anymore, but that wasn't the — ""See? You act as this higher-than-thou guy, you're worse than everyone in here," Jennifer said."Since when didn't you know that?"She rolled her eyes. "I do, but that's why you telling me how to be is so stupid.""I am not, I just wish you overcame some of your weaknesses," he tried to clarify. By the way she moved closer to him and pointed a finger at him, he could conclude it didn't make the situation better. He wasn't wrong, if she stopped letting her emotions guide her she'd become so much more. She could be as great as he hoped to become."They're weaknesses to you. You being so emotionally repressed is also a weakness in my eyes."He grabbed her finger and pushed it down. "I am not.""Aren't you?" She scoffed. "Before you try to call me weak just look in the mirror, Riddle. You might find some weaknesses there. ""At least I can talk to people without them thinking I'm this shy weak little witch."She opened her mouth to reply but he wasn't done. If she wanted to fight he could fight."I can talk to my mother without having a breakdown and punching a mirror," he threw the guess in the air. Next thing he knew his head was flying to the side. Last thing he expected was her slapping him. There she was trying to prove she was a perfect princess while hitting him.He smiled and she widened her eyes. "You're insane. Go to hell.""You like it. Why are you arguing with me? Do you like that as well?" he questioned, getting up. "You say you don't like control, don't you like trying to control the conversation?" He moved closer to her, she stepped back. "Didn't you like slapping me? Hurting your fist? Tell me you didn't like it." He certainly liked it, the sting made him feel more than he had all Summer.Jennifer shook her head."I know who you really are, you might deny it for weeks, months, or even years, but we both know what it'll come to.""And what is that?" she asked. "You're just trying to manipulate me again, it's not working. I know who I am and what I want to do. I know what's right, you could only dream of knowing how to feel. You're so scared of your emotions it's embarrassing." "And you're scared of who you are."Jennifer laughed at that. She pushed him back and he stumbled from the bounce of the train. He had forgotten their location. Having such a conversation in a place anyone could hear next cubicle. "You haven't seen me in two months and you think your words mean anything?""And how were those months? Next to your family. Was it fun?" he questioned. She looked down and the frown fell from her face. She looked so sad, he had never seen her like that. He regretted saying that. "You know how they were."Tom gulped, he didn't want to make it worse. Make it like before. He didn't want her upset, mad at him, ignoring him. He didn't want her away. "And you're still here. Free from them. You ended up fine," he whispered. Jennifer walked to the seat again and sat down. He did the same. "I don't think I did.""You will. Classes again, learning more magic, putting up with Dory thinking we're secretly dating..." he trailed off and she chuckled."You really think it's that obvious?" she murmured. "That I'm not perfect."It was hard to answer when he knew her too well, but he remembered what he felt when he first saw her. Jealousy, of how perfect she was. He had after realized she wasn't and it brought him comfort. "No."She looked at him again. The scar on her neck made him angry, he'd do anything to be able to get close to her mother. Throw any possible hex and curse at her. But, he'd need to keep her alive, watch her with the same hopeless expression he saw in Jennifer in that moment. "Then mustn't I be?""I don't like you perfect." Made him feel incompetent, and he hated that.She looked to the ground. "I like me perfect."Tom still felt the weight of their fight. The words hanging in the air, between them. Neither of them could ever take back anything they said. You can never take anything back. "You know who else does?""Her.""So, do you want to be?" he asked again.She sighed loudly into the small closed space. She didn't answer. Didn't have to.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

September 4th 1939

(Second Year)
Jennifer was still tired from the days before. The food didn't taste as well in the welcome back as the goodbye one in June. Some people argued that it did, but to her, she had tasted nicer things. She didn't even finish her plate. Although rude, no one noticed so she didn't have it in her to care either. She woke up and stared at the green curtains surrounding her for some time. "Jennifer, you're still here?" she heard Felicity's voice from outside her bed. She didn't know what time it was, but it was probably late since she had a hard time falling asleep. She picked up the bad habit of staying up late in the summer, something she never felt the need to do before. "Maybe," she yelled out.Suddenly the curtains were pulled back and Felicity stared wide-eyed at her. "You were usually up before all of us, what are you still doing in your pajamas? Did you even go to breakfast?"Jenny squinted at her. Too much light. She groaned as she sat up and shook her head. "It's 8 am, you better run before you miss your schedule," Felicity warned."Can I just not go and not have a schedule?" she whined.Felicity sighed. "I'm pretty sure it's still there even if you don't see it.""Probably the same as yours," Jenny dismissed, throwing back the blankets and getting up, despite her words."But you won't eat.""Like I mind," she said as she walked towards her luggage. Jennifer hadn't unpacked yet. It was odd in comparison to the year before when she did it when she first saw her dorm. She opened it to find her school outfit: a shirt, a skirt, a vest and a tie.Felicity sighed. "You should never skip breakfast, Jennifer."Jenny placed the clothes down on the bed. She turned around to look at Felicity, hands on her hips. "Need to get dressed, see you in class.""Why are you so irked?" she asked with a laugh.Jennifer started pushing her away. "I am not."She let herself be pushed away. "Are you on your period? Did you get it in the Summer or something?"Jenny groaned and opened the door to push Felicity out. "I am not answering you.""Sounds like a yes, c'mon!" she yelled as the door was closed in her face. "I am girl, you can talk about it with me!"Jennifer locked the door and walked towards her bed again. She started getting dressed. As she put the tights on she got annoyed as it wouldn't go all the way up, she hadn't realized she grew during the Summer. She hadn't had time to think about it, mostly about how doomed she was in her family and how she couldn't do anything original. She had her faith spelled out for her, and if she didn't follow it, she was screwed. She had been always screwed, her entire life was meaningless, and she couldn't escape it, only if she was de ―The tights ripped and she took it off, by ripping it further. She loved the sound of the material ripping. Her anger melted in the slightest way, but it melted nonetheless. She threw it to the ground and as she raised her hand again, the other pair of tights she owned flew into her hand. She looked between her luggage, her clothes all messy and some falling off the luggage ― It didn't bother her ― and back to her hand. She didn't know how she did that. Jennifer ignored it and put the other pair more carefully, struggling to get it to fit, but it did. She put on all the rest of the clothes and moved to the shared bathroom. She fixed her hair, carefully using a spell to wash it, she didn't want her hair to burn off. It was short again, she hated it. She hated her mom and her stupid rules. Jennifer ran to the Great Hall to get her schedule, eating just a bit of toast as the food was starting to vanish away. Transfiguration. She liked that class, Professor Dumbledore was nice, some professors were like her mom in comparison. Everyone else that she talked to agreed with her. Besides Tom. He didn't seem to like any teacher, besides following them around after class to ask more questions. She did it sometimes too, but only when necessary, he overdid it.She paced to the classroom, waiting to arrive earlier so she could just be alone for a moment. As she sat down she started grabbing the book and notebook. "So studious..."Jennifer paused as she flickered through the book. She looked behind and saw Mulciber, a friend of Riddle's. They had talked probably a handful of times, mostly when she was near Tom and he was chatting with other people. "Didn't know you were. Coming to Second Year's classes. Or is Third Year too hard?""I'd give anything to be in these classes, Jennifer." He walked towards her and sat next to her."Nothing is stopping you, besides everyone responsible around here."He chuckled. "Oh, no.""Tom isn't here yet," she said, she assumed that's why he was talking to her."Not here for him, already see him enough. Just wondering something," he said, leaning on his chair, arm going to the back of her chair. She leaned away from it."What can I elucidate you in?""Saw you and Tom talking on the day back, he pulled you somewhere closed off from everyone. Are you two dating?" he asked.She blinked up at him. "Not sure which answer you'd prefer to hear."He smirked. "He's nice to all the girls, and the only one I see him annoyed at is you."Jennifer frowned her eyebrows. "I've seen him annoyed at Felicity too."Mulciber nodded. "Maybe he fancies her."Jenny didn't understand that conversation. She didn't care about him, or which girl Tom was into. She was pretty sure Tom wasn't into anyone besides himself. "I'm sorry, was that all you wanted from me?"He got up from his seat. "Doing my own assessments. Since Dorothea does an awful job at it."She scoffed. "Of course, she thinks me and him are married with 7 kids if we as much as glance at each other."He chuckled at that. "She's her own kind of species.""Didn't know you two were friends," Jennifer added. Maybe she just wasn't paying attention. "She's rambles a lot," he said, "makes her a good kisser."Oh. She never heard Dory talk about him. But, she mostly tried to prod her for information rather than giving her some. Not like she ever asked either, she didn't care about the lives of the other classmates. Hers was enough. "Of course..." she whispered."We don't kiss anymore, though." He winked at Jennifer and she looked at her book again. She blushed at having someone wink at her like that.She couldn't help but notice how good-looking he was, only older by one year, but it made a lot of difference. Guys her age were still close to her height. He had dark hair, the same as Tom's, and green eyes. She liked the color green. She was a true Slytherin, born and raised, after all. "Shouldn't you be heading to your class?" She glanced at him and saw him lick his lips. He nodded as he started moving to leave the classroom. "Y'know what? Maybe you're right, Tom's definitely not into you, he seems to make more eyes at Felicity anyway. See you around.""See you?" Not that she cared to.Jennifer could finally look at her book in peace. She could barely get through the chapter of the new material before people started entering the classroom and making noise. She sighed and tried to focus on the book. Noise and her stomach rumbling from not eating almost anything made it pretty hard to focus. "Didn't see you at breakfast," Tom said as he sat next to her. She couldn't help but glare at him as that added to the list of distractions. His stupid voice and hair right in her face, making her want to hit him with the book. "I can see you woke up on the wrong side of the bed," he added. Jenny noticed his eyes drifting to her neck and then hand succedingly. His eyes frowned in worry and thought. He'd never say he felt sorry for her, though, not in those words. She shrugged. "Woke up late, didn't have time to eat.""Jennifer Garrick? Waking up late? Is the world ending?" he faked shock in his voice and it added to her annoyance. "Has the war finally killed us all?""Wished it killed you," she muttered, looking back to her book. Tom chuckled and leaned closer to her. She could smell his breath, it was minty and pleasant. Hers probably wasn't, she cleaned her teeth with magic. "Felicity went around telling everyone you're in a bad mood, by the way."Jennifer slammed the book down and looked at him again. The proximity made her nerves explode and she leaned back so she wasn't so close to him. "I have a feeling those were not her words, were they?"He also leaned back, his arm behind her resting on her chair, and continued smiling at her. "That was the message regardless."She sighed. "I'm just going to ignore that."He grabbed a lock of her hair, twirling it around his finger, she let him. "Congrats on the entrance to womanhood."Jennifer gasped as she leaned away from his hand. "Oh my ― seriously shut up. Just because I wasn't nice to her? Who even is nice to her?" He resumed playing with her hair. It felt nice. "Ferlet.""Yeah, well, Willow seems to be just an extension of her." She furrowed her eyebrows. "Why did you call her Ferlet? You never use her last name.""Didn't want to annoy you..." he muttered. His tone sounded nice but the grin on his face made her roll her eyes. "That was so long ago, I don't care what you call them." She cared a bit. "Then, I'll stop," he announced. "I don't care," she instantly replied, grabbing her quill and toying around with it in her hand. "I'm glad." He continued touching her hair and her entire scalp was on fire."Mulciber came to talk to me 10 minutes ago," she said. His fingers stopped for a second before he resumed destroying some of her neat curls. "We never talk. Do you know why?""We chat sometimes, he's a nice bloke," he said. It was rare for Tom to talk nicely about someone to her, he usually agreed with her that everyone sucked. Maybe they were both starting to realize other people there were sometimes interesting.Jenny nodded. "I thought he was handsome," she confessed, she widened her eyes as she realized the words that left her lips, "and nice," she added quickly.Tom eyed her with a strange look, of surprise maybe, his eyebrows were raised. "Really? He does always say you're the prettiest girl here," he muttered, "feeling's mutual I see."Jenny looked at Tom and his expression was neutral. If it bothered him he'd surely show a hint of jealousy towards that. He showed nothing. "He likes me?""As much as you can like someone you don't know."Jennifer scrunched her forehead. "Why show interest now?""What did he say?" Tom queried. She wasn't sure if she should have told the truth. The question of why she wouldn't was confusing in her mind. "He said he had kissed Dorothea, said she thinks we're into each other ―""Classic.""And that you like Felicity, I suppose he did imply that," she finished, rushing the words out. "I didn't say anything that made him say that or that ―""Got it," he interrupted with a slight tug of her hair before she could ramble further.She cleared her throat and fought the heat in her cheeks, but she couldn't necessarily control it."I think he was just trying to flirt with you." He shrugged, his lips a straight line."Odd way of flirting." Not that she knew what flirting entailed as she had no romantic experience, but talking about other people's romantic affairs seemed to be not it."He was testing the waters, seeing if you liked me and then saying I don't like you."That made more sense. "I didn't say that I ― if I liked you."Tom nodded. "I don't see why you would say it." Her mind flashed her back to the day of the feast, before they left for Summer when she implied that she liked him. His nonchalance. She didn't understand him. "Besides, I barely understand what I like, nothing feels real," she confessed with a chuckle.Tom opened his mouth to talk but Professor Dumbledore entered the class, greeting the students, and his eyes shifted there. She noticed him gulp before he sat up straight in his seat, his hand falling from her hair.She missed the touch on her hair. She didn't mind if he messed it up. She didn't mind if he messed everything up.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

November 19th 1943

(Sixth Year)
Jenny woke up with murmuring outside of her bed. Her eyes struggled to adapt to the light coming from the window. Only one curtain was drawn down, the others let the light in. She looked at the clock and saw it was 7 am."I am not going to wake her!" someone whispered."You're closer to her!""Doesn't make her be less mad at me after," Dorothea whispered."I don't even sleep here!" Frieda said.Jennifer sighed and waved her hand for the curtains to open. "You are all insufferable." They looked in between themselves. Dorothea started to count down. "Happy birthday!" they all yelled.Jennifer looked at their cheery faces. Willow, Dorothea, and Frieda. Her instant thought was how Felicity wasn't there, and she didn't understand what made her start to dislike her. She even kissed Tom, she was definitely winning. Not that she hadn't done it first and better... Regardless, she was being weird. Nothing happened, to Jennifer's knowledge. She tried to push that away as the girls all ran towards her bed and jumped on her. Jennifer groaned. "You're all so annoying!""And you're 17! Congrats! Not a baby anymore," Dorothea teased, lying on her left as the other two girls sat up on the bed as there was no space left.Jennifer rolled her eyes. "I'm older than all of you, I'm not a baby."Willow chuckled as she poked her nose. "You're our baby forever." Frieda chuckled at her.Jenny sat up. "I'm not participating in shit like this for your birthdays.""Oh, love, mine was in the Summer, otherwise I'm sure you would've opened an exception," Dorothea said."Be sure I wouldn't," she argued, crawling away from the bed. "She's so feisty, did she and Tom fight or something?" Frieda queried. Jenny ignored them as she grabbed her clothes from her drawers. Dorothea snorted. "Wouldn't know, they talk normally in public then they're secretly having a massive rumble of 3 months," she said."Why would we fight in front of you all?" Jenny said with a glare at the giggly girls in her bed. They loved hearing her talk about him, they tried to tease her and urge her to tell them anything but she didn't, wouldn't know how to start. "To entertain us?" Dorothea suggested."You think me and him are always fucking or making out," Jennifer complained, hands on her hips, "get your own lives."Willow got up from the bed. "My eyes will never unsee the depravities it's seen," she murmured, moving to her own bed.Jennifer's cheeks heated up as she started pacing to the bathroom, her school outfit in hand. Dorothea jumped from the bed and got in front of her. "The what?"Jennifer looked back at Willow to glare and she mouthed a 'sorry'. "Nothing," Jennifer replied for her.  "What did you see?" Dorothea asked Willow who looked off to the side. "Last year, they were―"Jenny pushed her to the side and opened the bathroom door. "I don't care what you tell her, just don't wanna hear it."Jennifer wished birthdays meant no classes. She could skip but she'd feel too bad about it. Couldn't escape being a good girl even when she tried. At least it was a Friday, which meant she could drink all she wanted. Drinking melted her worries away for some hours, she wished she could always be doing it.When she came out of the shower, the girls were gone, and she swiftly ate breakfast, thanking all the 'happy birthdays' sent her way. The classes passed by slowly, even if she asked some questions in class, some she knew the answers to just to make the professors feel good. They loved feeling better than their underage students. And when they didn't know the answer to things they weren't supposed to know it was like they got off on it.Dorothea was following her around all day, begging her to hang out with her at night. She felt like it should be the opposite considering it was her birthday. "I have such a big surprise for you, you have no idea," Dorothea said."This is the 100th time you've told me that," Jenny complained, trying to walk faster so maybe she could lose her in the way. "I invited Willow, but she said then Felicity would know you're with us and it could be awkward between them."Jennifer nodded. "No problems." In reality, she preferred to be with Tom on her birthday, more likely for her to have fun in the ways she wanted to. But, she wasn't going to be mean to Dory, she liked her. Her decisiveness, her strength, even her annoyance, it all fit her perfectly. She wished her traits made her that interesting, she thought it just made her weak.As they turned to the right Jenny halted as she saw Tom, reading a book as he sat by the window sill. Dorothea walked towards him as Jenny slowed her pace to fall behind her. He raised his head as he heard Dorothea come near, closing his book without bookmarking the page. "Studying on your girls' birthday?" she teased, sitting next to him on the window sill. Jennifer approached them as the heat grew in her cheeks. Tom had told her happy birthday at breakfast, but besides that, they hadn't talked all day. He sat somewhere else in class as Dorothea insisted on sitting next to her. "Better than annoying her all day," Tom replied.Dorothea scoffed. "I am not annoying her."Jennifer widened her eyes at Tom and he licked his lips. "I am sure you're not..." He got off his seat."We're throwing her a party later, wanna come?" she asked him, kicking her feet."Of course," he said as he eyed Jenny. "Wanna come see something at the library with me?" he shamelessly asked.Jennifer looked at Dorothea who jumped off the window sill. "Y'know what, I just realized I still have to buy you this gift. We'll talk about times at dinner," she said, running off to leave them alone."See you," Jennifer called out. She sighed as she disappeared from their line of sight.Tom moved closer to her. "How did you put up with her all day?"Jennifer chuckled. "Funny of you to assume..." she trailed off as he cornered her into one of the pillars of that hallway, "I did.""Party later?" he asked, his hand resting above her on the pillar. "Is that your way of avoiding being alone with me?"Jennifer gulped as she looked up at him. "It was Dorothea's idea.""You're her bitch now?" he asked.She rolled her eyes. "I wasn't going to fuck you anyway."He started to lean in, his eyes on her lips and she escaped from his hold, looking at him as he turned around to face her. "You sure love playing hard to get.""Not playing anything," she said."So you don't want it?" he asked with a smirk. Jennifer snorted. "Aren't we past this? It's my birthday, behave."He rolled his eyes. "See you at your lavish party then."He started to walk away and Jenny sighed. "You don't have to leave."Tom continued walking away, ignoring her."You're so dramatic."Dorothea started annoying her about the party even as she was eating. They had some stolen liquor from trips to Hogsmeade and personal staches. Tom ignored her during dinner, but she didn't pay him much mind. Dorothea, Lestrange, and her went to a small classroom first, Dorothea told their to-be location to Tom and his response was rolling his eyes. As they had their first cups the door opened."Hello," Tom greeted."You're here," Jennifer said with a smile. He smiled back as he moved towards them in the small room."Came to see your side piece? Things rough with your girlfriend now?" Dorothea teased, taking a sip of her cup.Tom moved his hand and the liquid in Dorothea's cup went rushing up, making her cough to let it out of her lungs. Then he sat down next to Jenny, making Lestrange scoot over a bit."Don't drink too much, might choke on it," Tom spat back with a glare."Merlin, Tom," Lestrange murmured. "Go suck a dick," Dorothea replied to Tom, trying to breathe again. Tom looked right into Jennifer's eyes, who was already looking at him. "I'd rather suck on other things, thank you."Dorothea looked between them. "I know you guys wanna get rid of us so you can go fuck, but you can pretend a little harder you don't." Lestrange laughed at what she said. She took the sip from her cup she wanted to take before.Jenny felt her cheeks heat up at the acknowledgment. She couldn't argue against it, though. Anything she could say, Dorothea would easily flip against her. They knew too much about the two of them to just make something up. But, at the same time, they barely knew themselves so maybe they knew nothing."If the birthday girl wanted to, I'd be more than happy to oblige," he replied, making Lestrange and Dorothea whistle and cheer.She grabbed an empty cup they had brought by accident and threw it at him. He instantly caught it with magic and put it down again. "We are not fucking." Especially since every time he talked about it, it was like he was manipulating her into it."You're such a tease, Garrick I wonder how he manages it," Lestrange said, smirking at Tom.Jennifer hated the conversation. "For me to be a tease I have to want to tease him, which I don't. I am not interested," she said, taking another sip. She was taking tiny sips so she wouldn't get drunk easily, being drunk next to them was a bad idea, they'd start asking questions. She'd most likely answer."Is this because he kissed Felicity?" Dorothea asked. "Why does everyone keep talking about that?" Tom complained. Jenny wondered who the 'everyone' was, she was the only one she knew who had mentioned it. But, he knew a bunch of other random classmates, or just... mates."Because you don't even like her, why the hell did you kiss her?" Lestrange questioned."Convenience." Was it convenient when they kissed too?"Now she's gonna think you guys have a chance," Lestrange said, glancing at Jenny who quickly avoided his gaze."Maybe we do," Tom said. Jenny felt the magic in her body fizzle inside her veins, she was ready to cut his neck in front of the other two.Dorothea rolled her eyes. "You're such a jerk. If I was Jennifer I'd kill you.""He can kiss whoever he wants," she said, starting to chug the cup. It was endlessly being filled again as it emptied by the bottle floating between all of them. "We're not dating, never were.""You guys are so weird," Lestrange said. "Do you just yell at each other into hooking up? It's like you have no feelings.""None of your business," Tom said, a glare on his features. "Don't fight on my birthday," Jenny said, sipping from the cup again.Dorothea chuckled. "Right. I have presents," she said with a grin, Jennifer felt her heart fasten at her words. "Plural?" Lestrange exclaimed. "I only got one," he said, grabbing the bag he got. "It wasn't even required to get any," Jenny said," she's just extra.""Don't I know it?" Lestrange handed her his bag and she put it down.Dorothea put 2 bags in front of her. "It's not two things, there's multiple shit inside."Jennifer widened her eyes. "You're crazy.""And isn't that a great quality for a friend?" She smiled at her."Some would think not," Lestrange replied instead. She slapped his arm.Jennifer looked at Tom who also handed her a small bag, smaller than Lestrange. She couldn't deny the size didn't disappoint her, especially since he was the person closest to her there, and Dorothea gave her a bunch of stuff. "Thank you." "I think this proves Dorothea has a bigger dick than Tom," Lestrange said, also noticing the clear difference between the gifts."And you're average, isn't that so meaningless?" Tom remarked, raising an eyebrow at him.He pushed Tom, his arm brushing against Jenny's. He chuckled as he sat properly again. "Open mine first," Dorothea demanded, pointing at one of the gifts. Jenny opened one of the bags. She took out the first thing, a small box. She opened it to see a necklace, it had a small snake on it. "This is so cute, Dory, thank you," she thanked with a smile. "Help her put it on," Dorothea told Tom. Lestrange hit her leg, she chuckled at him.Jenny rolled her eyes. "You don't have to...""I won't waste a chance to get Dorothea all hot by staring at us," Tom replied, moving to his knees and grabbing the necklace in Jennifer's hands. "Oh please," she murmured.He moved Jennifer's hair to the side, he had touched her hair a million times but it always sent the same tingles down her spine. She couldn't help shivering, the hairs on her arms rising, thankfully the robes covered it all. He put on the necklace, his fingers going to the front and rubbing the snake between his fingers. "It's so pretty.""Looks good on you," Dorothea complimented. Tom sat back down and handed his present. "Mine next, she got enough attention already."Jennifer chuckled at him as she grabbed his bag. "Better be something good.""As if I'd give you something cheap and worthless." She ripped it open and took out the object inside. It was a mirror, antique-type hand-held one. Jenny grabbed it and looked at herself in it. "What does it do?"Tom grabbed the mirror and whispered something to it, then gave it back to her. Jenny gasped as she saw it. It had an enchanted spell on it, instead of her face she saw a story play out. A fox hunting a rabbit, flickers of light coming off it. Jenny raised her hand to touch it and it sent magic throughout her veins and nerves. It felt really good. She put it down before she got too into it. "You enchanted it with dark magic," she said, her mouth a grin because she couldn't help herself."Ok, that beats my present," Dorothea said, leaning back on her hands. "Can I touch it?" Lestrange asked. He reached for it but Tom grabbed it out of his sight."Maybe you can get one on your birthday," he said."That's code for you'll never get it," Dorothea said. "Thank you," she whispered to Tom. His eyes said you're welcome in the way his eyelids dropped and eyes slipped to her lips."Kiss, kiss, kiss," Dorothea started chanting. Lestrange joined, "kiss, kiss, kiss...""We're not―" Jennifer started saying, but she shut up as Tom grabbed her chin. He kissed her in front of their friends. Her eyes closed as she responded to the kiss instantly, lips opening into his. Before she could get into it he pulled back, giving her one last peck. Jennifer felt the heat creep into her cheeks, the alcohol didn't help. She couldn't believe he had kissed her in front of their friends. That wasn't their thing. "This is the best day of my life," Dorothea said. Jenny looked at her with Tom's hand still on her chin. She was grinning like it was her birthday. At least she had been acting like it was.Jenny slapped Tom's hand away and cleared her throat. "Whatever." She grabbed Lestrange's gift next. Her hand reached inside and she felt a snowball. She pulled it out and looked at it. "Oh, you remembered..." she chuckled.He smiled at her. "Of course I did." The pink tint of his cheeks was the cutest thing ever, she never saw him shy at anything.The month before when she was getting drunk alone outside at night he joined her and the conversation was a heartfelt one. She learned a lot about him and confessed a lot too, nothing too revealing, mostly wishes she had sometimes. One was going to France, to see the Eifel Tower. She was rich, she knew that, but her parents never took her anywhere outside of England. They went on a business trip once to the USA, but she wasn't allowed to leave her hotel room. So, she had the wish to travel the world and see all the beautiful places she heard and read about. "Is it a muggle one?" she questioned as she stared at the Eifel Tower in miniature. He nodded at her. Tom scoffed at that. "I assume that's all he could afford," he taunted. Jenny put the snowball back into the paper covering it so it would be safe. "You're so obsessed with Muggle shit it's so childish.""A snowball made with magic would be much more special than that piece of glass and wood." She looked at Lestrange who was staring at the floor at Tom's words. So she got to her knees and moved over to Lestrange. He looked up to her and furrowed his eyebrows. Before he could say anything she hugged him. "Thank you," she murmured in his ear. He hugged her back with a chuckle. "You're welcome."She pulled back and went to her seat. Not without sending a glare Tom's way. "Magic doesn't make things special, the intention does."He rolled his eyes at her. "Hypocrite."The word wrapped around her heart and grasped it, tight in its grip. She didn't answer because it would start a discussion they could not have in front of the other two members. But, she added it into the bag of things she'd throw in Tom's face later as he wondered why she was so annoyed at him."I think it's pretty neat," Dorothea commented. "It's going to look really nice in the dorm."She supposed it would. "Yes."She moved to the other bag Dorothea gave her and started opening it."The first one still had something in it," she said.Jennifer halted her movements and looked to the side to find the bad she had opened earlier. "Oh, sorry." Dorothea drank more from her cup. "No worries."She grabbed the second wrapped gift there and started opening it. It was a rectangle. "Oh my..." she opened it to find a bottle of Bourbon Whiskey. "Where am I gonna keep this?" she wondered as she laughed. Tom next to her eyed her with concern and she knew why, but she continued smiling at Dorothea. "Where you've kept all the other ones," Dorothea said with a wink."I'll run out of believable enchanting spells," she joked."Should open a bar at this point," Tom quipped as he drank from his cup."That looks like fancy shit, I'd go there," Lestrange added.Jennifer put the bottle back in the box and moved to the next bag. There were two things inside and she grabbed both. They were small rectangle boxes, with jewelry brands on both. "How do you have enough money for this?" she asked."My mom's sister works at a jewelry shop in the Muggle world," Dorothea said, "she can't do magic, so she made do with other things..." Jenny nodded as she opened one of the boxes. It was a bracelet, made of silver and had three small green jewels in little squares. "You went all in for a theme here."Dorothea grabbed the other box and opened it, it was a bracelet just like hers. "I got one for me too, so we can always have each other close," she revealed with a smile. Her cheeks grew dark as Lestrange's had before.Jennifer moved to hug her. "Thank you so much." She wasn't sure why those people liked her that much but she wouldn't complain about free jewelry.She felt it was more than jewelry, it was a promise, spending galleons on her like that, they wanted for longer than Hogwarts. She never thought about the after, the present Sixth Year was already haunting her in different ways, she wasn't sure about a job, about a lifelong dream. Not like Tom had his figured out. Turning 17 was a sign of adulthood and the allure of how doomed she was for the future scared her every day. She downed her drink at that.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

November 19th 1943

(Sixth Year)
"We should go, the later it gets, the worse it'd be getting in trouble," Lestrange said, breaking the bottle from its spell of filling their drinks. He put his wand in the pocket of his robe again.It wasn't midnight yet but it was quite late. Dorothea was shitface drunk already. Lestrange was as quiet as he got when the alcohol dominated in his veins. Jenny felt ok, but she knew the blurriness in her eyes meant she was drunk. Tom always kept his demeanour, he hadn't drunk as much as the rest, but it was expected as he never let go fully in front of anyone. Jenny liked to think she had seen his true self at points, but sometimes it scared her to wonder who he really was. A psychopath or misunderstood? Manipulative or cunning? Obsessed with her or in love? She blinked away her thoughts, she didn't dare to think of that 4 letter word. Dorothea giggled. "Trouble sounds nice, I never get in trouble," she slurred, hugging the cup close to her face."Someone will need help to the common room..." Jennifer commented. "Lestrange can help her," Tom replied, getting up from the floor. He stretched his arms and Jennifer eyed him from below. "We're all going the same way," Jenny said.He looked down at her, his eyes dark and glistening under the candlelights in the room. "I am a Prefect, I don't need to be careful around the hallways.""What does that have to do with us taking Dorothea?" she asked him, getting up as well."Head Boy gave me the key to his bedroom."
Oh. Jennifer felt the blood drop to a lower place at those words. 
Lestrange laughed at Tom's words. "Nothing you can't get, Riddle.""I can be persuasive," he said with a smile. She knew that all too well.Jennifer gaped at him. "What for exactly?" she asked, faking innocence. He looked back at her and raised his eyebrows. "To fuck you," Dorothea murmured as Lestrange helped her up, she stumbled into a table but managed to steady herself.Tom rolled his eyes. "So you can get a night away."She bit her lip. "Is that you trying to get to Dorothea's level of gifts?""Like I need to try."She rolled her eyes at his cockiness, but it was true. Anyone could give her a million gifts, but one from him outdid them all. He gave her the warmness not even a hot August could, she burned and burned and the flame never went out. Her heart was tightly wrapped in his grip. Whatever that fucking meant. They all moved to leave the classroom. Lestrange and Dorothea went one way, silently and sneakily. Tom told them to say he had already caught them and gave them a punishment if anyone saw them out, but still encouraged them to move swiftly. He and Jennifer silently moved to the Head boy and girl quarters.The Head Boy gave Tom the password so they easily entered and moved to his bedroom. It was clean and tidy, he must have cleaned it before lending it to Tom. Jennifer wondered why he would and what type of convincing exactly went on. She knew he wasn't above mind control. She wasn't above it either on the stupid enough people to fall for it.As he closed the door and put a silence spell on the room she took off her shoes and couldn't help but laugh. "You pulled all these strings for me?" she wondered.He did the same and started undoing his tie. "I must admit that I also want a night off."Jennifer walked towards the bed and groaned as she sat down. "Why's this more comfortable than ours?"Tom chuckled. "I sure hope it is. When I'm Head Boy I want to sleep like a baby.""Don't you already?" she asked eyeing him up and down as he put his robes on a chair nearby. Would he let her go to his room when he became Head Boy? Could she enjoy more nights on that soft mattress?"Depends on the day I had," he said, his gaze staying on her eyes even as hers didn't. "When I'm with you it usually ruins the rest of my day, so god-awful sleep.""I am sure," she murmured."You're gonna stay on those worn clothes?" he asked.Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows. "I didn't bring anything to sleep in."Tom walked towards her as he took his wand from his pocket. He murmured a spell as he pointed to the space next to her and some clothes appeared there. They were hers: a night dress and robe. "You're the best," she said as she instantly took her robes off, folding them and placing them to her left. "I won't wonder how you knew where they were."He tilted his head as she folded the vest and put it on top of her robes. "I know everything about you, don't question that."Jennifer scoffed at his words but the hand he always had on her heart squeezed it harder, she felt like his stare was bleeding her out right there on that bed, more blood dripping to the carpet. "You're such a romantic," she sarcastically replied, but deep down she knew the words weren't far from the truth.Tom licked his lips as he stepped right in front of her. "You're gonna get that?" he asked pointing at her shirt. Her gaze went down to her shirt and up to his eyes again. "Yes, that's how undressing works, you jerk."His lips tilted up slightly at her insult but his hand flew up to grab her chin. "I got a room for you, don't be unappreciative." She winced at the pain on her chin as he dug into her jaw and teeth. "For me? I think this is more about you wanting to fuck me." A side of her said it wasn't, he was trying to be romantic, show her he cared, but if he really did they'd be dating. The thought scared her so she avoided it."Fuck you? Why would I ever want that?" With his other hand, he started pulling his shirt from inside his pants, vest still on. The glimpse of his happy trail, between the V-cut lower abdomen sent shocks, low on her body. "Because you can't get any other girl to willingly fuck you," she taunted, smiling even through the crip on her chin.Tom raised his eyebrows at her and let go of her chin. He grabbed her tie and pushed it towards himself, she had no choice but to move closer to him and raise her head even more to look at him. "The past girls seemed pretty willing."Jennifer grabbed his wrist and tried to pull him away but he laughed at her. She closed the fist on her other hand and suddenly Tom stepped away, starting to cough as he held his own throat. "Tell me about them." She smiled as he struggled to keep his eyes open. "How did they feel like?" she questioned, squeezing her fist tighter. He held out his hand for his wand and as it flew into his hand he managed to conteract her spell. He gasped again for air and groaned as it finally hit his lungs. "Don't wanna tell me?"Tom glared at her as he moved closer again. She loved the dangerous look in his eyes, he could hurt her, but she also knew she could defend herself. She could allow just the right amount of pain to inflict her.She leaned back on her hands. "Rude."He laughed at her and pointed with his wand at her. "Why shouldn't I crucio you right now?" As if he would in that moment. Jennifer got up from the bed and undid her tie, throwing it on the floor. "You'll be caught using dark magic."He eyed the tie on the floor, the grip on his wand faltering for a bit. "I can get away from that quite well," he said, looking back at her."The room isn't charmed to delete any spell history," she mentioned, starting to unbutton her shirt.He looked down at her hands. "Fuck you.""Does it scare you?" Jenny halted her movements, keeping her shirt half unbuttoned, but also half buttoned and she was sure it annoyed Tom. "That I'm stronger than you."He threw his wand to the ground and took off his vest. "You're not.""You know I am," she said, "I can do it so effortlessly, even without knowing the spells. You need to read a thousand books to get to my level."Tom took a step closer to her, his hand flying to her throat, but not grasping it tight. "Are you finally tired of the niceties? Really want to piss me off on your birthday?"Jenny looked behind herself on the right to see the clock. 00:07. "No longer my birthday.""What's all this now? Haven't you been all shy the past few days?" he wondered, his fingers tightening on her neck. "Is your new reformed self not suiting you anymore?""New self?" she chuckled. He shrugged. "Gotta get last year out of your system, right? Gotta be a good girl now, don't you?"Jenny gulped. They hadn't talked about that and she wasn't sure they would. It was on the big box of conversations they avoided every day, but still teased each other about to rile the other up. "Does coming into a room alone with you seem to be me trying to be a good girl?" she questioned, drawing out the last words as she knew it had an effect on him, she could feel it as he rubbed her neck, tightening and untightening his grip."You wouldn't have said no in front of the others."She grabbed his wrist starting to feel her head get very light, too light to respond. "Why?" she struggled to ask as her throat was restrained."You wanna act innocent," he replied with a smirk. "I am this evil guy kissing other girls and leaving you hanging, aren't I?" He moved to her ear, she could feel his breath on her cheek. "I'll be evil in anyone's eyes for you, princess."As Jenny's vision started to get dark he let go of his grip, she fell into his grip, but it didn't last long as he threw her to the bed behind her. She coughed slightly to clear her throat still feeling restrained from how long he had his grip on her neck. He started getting on top of her and she moved up on the bed to be near the headrest. Her skirt rose up as she opened her legs so he could fit there. "Anything you do to me, impulsive and reckless, I can do to you better, slowly killing you before you even notice."She rolled her eyes as there was oxygen in her brain again. "You should be a poet," her raspy voice said. Tom's hand went behind her head and he grabbed her hair, pulling her head back. "I can be your poet.""Reserve those one-liners for your future girlfriend," she spat back. His lips touched her neck and he kissed, delicately, as if making up for the way he was choking her before. She could still feel his grip. He planted one more kiss near her collarbone and pulled back. "Can't I just tell them already then?"Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows at his words. It can't mean what she thinks it means. "You don't mean that."Tom looked down at her chest and continued the job of unbuttoning her shirt with one hand, the other arm to support himself above her. "That's the road you wanna take right now?" he questioned. "I don't fucking know, Tom, I don't want any road," she said and the more the topic was laid out in the open the higher the stress of it rose, she needed to let it out, but she couldn't. The only way was to cut it short. He opened the last button and sat up to help her take it off. "Is it that? Or you simply don't want to tell me because you're scared of my reaction."Jenny rose up as well and took off her shirt. She took advantage of their position and ripped his shirt open.He gasped as the buttons hit the walls and floor around them. "Thanks," a word he uttered most when he least meant.She glared at him as she laid back down. "Like you'd fucking tell me roles reversed."Tom sighed as he took off his shirt and threw it to the floor, joining hers. "Yeah, I never fucking tell you anything, Jenny.""Do you?" He laid on top of her again and kissed the top of her breast, still covered by her bra. Her hands moved to his arms and she grasped them, feeling the muscle move under as he kept himself above her. "Never, who are you again?""You only need to know the name you'll be moaning later," Jennifer replied, a smirk forming on her face.He stopped his movements and suddenly a sharp pain made her whine. He bit her and was sucking her flesh into his mouth. "Fuck, Tom."He let go of it with a pop and looked up at her with a glare. "Is that why you're taunting me? You want me to fuck you?"She dug her nails into his biceps. "It's apparently not working, you're acting like it's my first time."Tom chuckled and his hand went to the top of her thigh, grabbing it through the fabric of her skirt. "I wasn't this nice on your first time."Jennifer rolled her eyes and hips into his, trying to get more. "Do I have to choke you again, Tommy?"He moved his hand under her to unclasp her bra, and it swiftly opened. "Do it, baby."Her cheeks heat up at the nickname. She was trying to be tough, but he was making it hard, with his soft and hard touches, it was all so perfect she wanted it to hurt a bit, at least then she couldn't enjoy it as much. He removed her bra and threw it somewhere. He quickly fondled her breast, rolling the nipple between his fingers. It didn't hurt and she hated that. "Changed your mind?" he asked.For a second she forgot what he was talking about as he kept rubbing her nipple and lightly twisting it. "I... no?"He leaned down to suck the nipple into his mouth. He moaned into her breast he sucked on it. His other hand went to touch the other and he harshly pinched it, making her yelp."Tom," she moaned. Her hands flew to his hair and she grabbed it, trusting her chest into his mouth."So much for me moaning your name," he retorted, moving to the other breast.Jenny dug her nails harder into his arms and scratched. She felt the groan of pain into her flesh. As he pulled back she could see the redness of her nails on his arms, there were little red points but he wasn't bleeding... yet."You're so fucking annoying," he complained, looking down at his arms."Take it, isn't that what you would tell me?" He sat up again to undo her skirt. "What I would tell you?" He laughed as she raised her hips to get it easier off her legs. "You won't be telling me shit soon, that's all I know," he threatened, opening her legs, tights still on.She looked down at his attentive gaze on her covered legs. "Cocky," she replied, but the breathlessness in her voice gave her away. The way he was staring built up anticipation in her core.He rubbed her inner thighs, thumbs sliding closer and closer to her cunt. "Shouldn't I be? With such a ravishing girl under me?" Jennifer blushed at his words. She had his thumbs rubbing her lower lips through her clothes but blushed at him flirting with her. She hated him and herself."Oh, blushing?" he mocked. She glared at him and removed herself from his grip to take off her tights. "You're not ripping them again." The fabric slid with some struggle from her thighs."You ripped my shirt.""That was payback for you ripping my tights yesterday," she argued, trying not to rip the material out of pure frustration.Tom laughed at her awkwardly removing them, her legs flopping about. "You can just fix them with magic."Jennifer threw them to the floor and laid properly back down. "And you can shut the fuck up. You're ruining the mood."He got off the bed to take off his pants, his boxers going along with them. She couldn't take her eyes off his cock as it stood there hard for her. "I am? Let's see." He got on top of her again, his hand going straight between her legs. She blushed as felt his warm cock against her leg. "You're taking so long."He pulled her underwear to the side and ran his finger through between her lips. "So wet, Garrick, was this before or after I ruined your mood?" he taunted, the tips of his fingers sliding up and down, lingering on her clit where he gave a slight rub. She scoffed, the gasp from his touch and his words. "You're so fucking annoying.""Why are you so wet, then, tell me?" he questioned, stroking her cunt with his hand."Looking at Lestrange all night, he's —" she cut herself off with a moan as two fingers entered her instantly, fingering her fast enough to clear her thoughts."Really? Then moan his name, c'mon," he prompted.She couldn't remember who they were talking about for a second, but as she did she managed to glare at him."Love that look."
That word. Coming from his lips. It pissed her off.
"You look like you wanna kill me, but you have no chance under me moaning like that," he said, tilting his fingers to touch her g-spot. He rubbed it as his fingers entered her, she threw her head back with a loud moan as he continued to finger and rub that same spot. "Your hair is so pretty like that, wish it was my pillow it was on."She opened her eyes to look at him, gathering her strength. "Do you ever shut up?" she asked. His words were nice, too nice, she wilted them away. They were embracing her and taking her places she did not want to be. She needed that warmth gone.Of course, though, he didn't do anything by accident, he knew exactly what he was doing. "You want my mouth closed?" he asked, leaning towards her lips. His lips brushed against hers and as she leaned forward to kiss him — she realized they hadn't yet kissed the entire time — he kissed her collarbone. His fingers slid off her as he then kissed her breast again, tongue flicking her nipple. "Would be an improvement."Jennifer shivered as he kissed her abdomen. He took off her underwear swiftly and his hands held her thighs open, tilting them up slightly so she'd be fully bare to him. She felt herself clench at the view he must have had as he pulled back to stare at her. "God, you're so wet."She didn't have much time to think about his usage of God, a muggle sign of worship, she would surely tease him for that if right after he hadn't immediately licked her pussy. His tongue somewhat entered her before it continued its journey up to her clit where his lips puckered around it. The suck he gave made her gasp as her hand moved to his hair, holding on to it.His hands slipped under her bottom to grab her cheeks, his nails dug into them as he pushed her towards himself. He started licking her clit again, slow and soft movements that made her move her hips to get more. "Trying to ride my face?" he questioned against her cunt. She couldn't come up with any response, her other hand moved to his hair as she held on to it to grind against his face. He gave an encouraging moan at her action. "Please," she muttered, not sure for what. Her hips continued to grind against his face, finding a rhythm with the sucks and licks he gave on her clit.  As she felt something finally build up he pulled back to kiss her inner thigh, his thumb moving to rub her. Her hands fell from his hair.She whined. "Why d'you stop?" she asked moving her hips against his thumb that was making slow circles on her clit.He chuckled against her leg. "Wanna leave you a gift." Suddenly he bit her and she yelled at the sudden pain. But, she felt the magic inside her twitch and squirm at it. She could feel in her veins the fizzling of it and she moaned at the sensation. Her hands went back to his hair to hold it tight.She heard something fall to the ground and opened her eyes to look at it. The clock on the left bedside table had fallen down. Tom continued sucking on her leg as his bite didn't halt. She watched as the small book on the bedside table rose up with her stare. When he let go of the hold with his mouth the book fell down with a loud thud. Tom looked to where the fallen objects were and laughed. "You're so fucking interesting."Jennifer looked back at him. His disheveled hair, wet chin, and mouth. All because of her. "More like..." she gasped as one of his fingers entered her, instantly tilting to rub against her g-spot, "scary.""I am not scared," he said before he dove back between her thighs. His tongue sucked harder than before and she knew what his intention was. He added one more finger inside her and both trusted fast against her. He got to his knees to get a better angle as he sucked on her clit while he fingered her.She could still feel the pain on her thigh, she hoped it left a mark. It tingled and so did the magic in her veins. She had to try to keep it down before she broke something in the room. Something told her he wished that she did break something. Fuck him. She felt the pressure on her lower abdomen build up again and she couldn't help but tilt her hips up to grind against his face. He grabbed her ass to move her towards his direction, stopping the movement inside her. With the new angle, she could watch his tongue flick against her clit and she moaned at the sight of him. He looked up at her, noticing her stare and as he locked eyes with her she couldn't look away. "I am gonna cum, Tom," she told, her eyes threatening to close but he pinched her side, making her hold them open. He nodded at her as if to tell her she could. She moaned as she came against his face, her eyes struggling to stay open as she looked into his eyes. "Fuck, Tom."He continued sucking as she rode down from her high, but she eventually slapped him which made him let go with a chuckle. "Am I better when I shut up?" he quired, moving up again to get on top of her. She still breathed heavily as he started to support himself above her, stroking his cock. "I hate you." She did prefer him talking, his words had a way of wrapping her in them and she loved it. "Is that why you stared into my eyes as you came into my mouth?" he asked. "Do you do that to everyone you hate?" He held out his hand for his wand to fly into. "You must be passed around Hogwarts quite a lot."Jenny slapped his shoulder. "Fuck you."He smiled at her, his lips still shiny from her, it made her entire body hot. He whispered the contraception spell as he tapped his wand on her belly. She had barely recovered from the orgasm he gave her and he was already putting down his wand, lining up with her pussy. "Can I?" he asked, his expression serious.Besides her still tired and post-orgasm head Jenny nodded. "Yes," she whispered.He gave her a small smile that quickly vanished before starting to enter her. "Oh," he let out, "you're so tight. Am I hurting you?"She felt the stretch of having him enter her slowly but it didn't hurt. She had the mix of her own arousal and his saliva after all. She hated that he asked, wished that it did hurt so there wasn't just the pleasure of having her walls filled encompassing her. "No, Tom," she breathed out, her lungs out of breath to come up with any bitter response. She was sure he felt the same."Good." He nodded and his face got close to hers. Her eyes dropped to his lips and she leaned forward so they'd touch. He was too focused on maintaining a slow pace to notice. "I can feel how wet you are, fuck." She could feel the words against her mouth. She felt the overstimulation of having just come, but it was easy to bypass when he looked so raw and vulnerable on top of her, that messed-up hair was just for her. Or so she wished."You never kiss me," she gasped into his mouth as filled her up fully. She didn't know why she said it, she wanted to be able to still blame it on the alcohol but she knew she was nowhere near drunk anymore, only drunk on his touch and cock. Tom chuckled, opening his eyes. "Is that how you wanna ask?" he asked, starting to move his hips.Jenny moaned as she threw her head back. "I am not asking."His hand went to her neck and he grabbed it firmly. "Then you're not getting it, darling," he accentuated his words with a harsh trust that made her moan loudly. They hadn't done it in so long and she couldn't help but just enjoy it, she wanted to respond in a sassy way, but she couldn't. "Tom," she whined as he entered her deep and slow."Yes, darling? She tried to kiss him, but he moved his head to the side. She kissed down from his cheek to his neck, sucking on it like her life depended on it. The grip on her neck kept her movements restrained. He moaned near her ear as he whispered, "fuck, you feel so good." "Please," she whined as she pulled back to stare at the red mark on his neck, which surely would be purple in no time. "Please, kiss me."Tom pulled back to stare at her with a smirk. "See? You're much better when you're begging." Before she could protest he leaned in to kiss her, his tongue wasting no time to enter her mouth and meeting hers. It felt so intimate. His tongue rubbed against her as his cock entered her over and over again. She could taste herself and it made her suck on his tongue to get all the taste she could from him.He let go of his grip on her neck to grab her leg, getting it higher on his hip. The shift in angle made him go deeper and she nearly screamed at the sensation. "You're so perfect, Jesus," he moaned into her mouth.Her eyes rolled into her head, but she still had enough will to say, "you go to church a lot?"He stopped his movements to look down at her. That dark look told her she had just signed her own death sentence. "Wanna come with me?" he asked, pulling off her to suddenly turn her around. She yelped at the sudden movement, feeling empty, too empty. "Get on your knees," he ordered.She did as told and had barely any time to adjust to the position before Tom pushed her head down and entered her again. He started thrusting hard against her making her scream in the pleasure and pain it sent her.His hands gripped her hips hard, he used them as leverage to thrust harder inside her. "Do you feel God yet?"She heard something fall down again through the sounds of him thrusting and the wet noises of her. She couldn't look around to see what it was as he had her head in a death lock in the pillow but tried to move her head regardless."Don't worry about the fucking room," he muttered. She could hear in his voice he was getting close his throat seemed restrained. Jennifer moaned into the pillow as she grabbed his wrist. "Please," she whined. "Lemme see you," she struggled to say.Tom moaned himself, his movements faltering as he was almost close. He pulled out from her and turned her around. "You're so smart," he whispered. She grabbed his hair and moved his head so he would kiss her again. Their lips moved against one another and at the same time he entered her. It was much easier than before and she couldn't help but giggle at the thought. She pulled back from the kiss. "Please, I wanna feel you come inside me."His eyebrows raised as if he just remembered something. His hand moved down to rub her clit, she whined as it was still sensitive from before. "Can't handle it?" he breathlessly asked. She shook her head. "You have to, darling, c'mon," he encouraged, rubbing fast to get her quickly over the edge. "I'll fill you up when you come."Jennifer threw her head back, her eyes closing tight as she struggled through the pain. She heard some other thing fall down, she didn't care anymore though. "Please, please, please," she chanted, feeling her eyes water."C'mon, baby, come for me," he whispered in her ear and the sensations brought her to the point of no return — the horizon — the pain went away and she could feel herself getting there. "I lo — need you so much, fuck." She tried for the slip-up to not consume her thoughts as she felt herself crossing that edge. Love. Love. Love. Lo —She came around his cock and at the same time, she felt him cum inside her, more wetness filling her. She hadn't realized he was so close."Fuck," he muttered against her shoulder as he got off her, falling to her side.
Oh, no.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

September 11th 1939

(Second Year)
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"Everything is fine again.

No, really.

It's been a week of class and I am getting distracted. Studying feels good, keeps my mind off everything. I can't think about my mum or my hand, can't think about anything. Tom says I'm being too odd. I choose to ignore him, what would he know? I let him sit next to me in class but just because he asks, I don't want to.

Mulciber keeps looking at me whenever we see each other in the castle. He smirks at me in the common room, he's adorable. Never had a boy so blatantly flirt. Felicity saw him looking and gushed on and on about it, she said his eyes shined when he looked at me and it must mean he is in love.

Dorothea disapproves of him, she says Tom is better and she will be disappointed if I date Mulciber. If only she knew what Tom was like, he only cared about himself. At least, Felicity kept saying that. I trust her because she knows a lot about boys, Dorothea just gets around and gossips. She's stupid.

Tom is also stupid. He doesn't know anything, just pretends he does. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Au revoir, diary."
══════⊹⊱≼≽⊰⊹══════Jenny sighed as she closed her diary. She felt a bit bad about the words written, but there was a weight lifted off her chest. Tom didn't like her, she had to accept it. He liked playing with her, watching her suffer, he kept giving her advice that'd harm her and he knew it. She wasn't going to do anything he said. Sure, his touch felt nice on her hair, but she knew it was another tactic to get her to fold for him. She never would. He was insane, a boy like any other trying to hurt her. Mulciber was also a boy, but he didn't want to hurt her, he wasn't probing around, and he knew what he wanted. He wanted her. Tom didn't want her, he was an annoying git. She looked down and gasped as she noticed she had been digging her nails into the leather cover of the diary, it left some marks which she tried to smooth over but to no avail. She got up and shoved her diary under her bed, too harshly as she hurt her knuckles on the slabs under there, she quickly removed her hand and looked at them, it was just the scars, they were sensitive. Overall, it was okay, not even red. She was exaggerating, always was. Things were fine.Jennifer, already dressed up for class, moved to the bathroom to fix up her hair. She did the usual charm, the one she easily learned as soon as she heard about it. Her curls fell down perfectly, with no stray hairs attached as before. She grabbed the lipstick Felicity had handed her. She said all girls should use it and it made sense, her mum always had some on, but she didn't encourage her to use it. It was light red, a color her mother never wore, she said only whores used that. But, Jennifer liked it, so she wore it. She wasn't there to see it, anyway.She smiled at the mirror, she noticed the smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but she kept trying. Felicity said she had to practice more and she did as told, she wanted Mulciber to think she was approachable. She walked to class, getting there early as usual. Tom was already sitting down at his usual spot, next to her. "Hello," she greeted, sitting down and taking out her book and notebook.He glanced at her. "Hey." He looked back at his notebook but then looked at her again. "That's new," he commented, eyes on her lips.Jenny felt her cheeks heat up at his words. She hadn't thought other people would notice and comment on it, especially Tom. Did he pay attention to those things? "Maybe you just haven't been looking that much."He rolled his eyes, putting down his quill to tilt his head at her. "What's that?" he asked, waving his hand in her direction."What?" she asked.Tom eyed her up and down. "You're different, there's an awful glow about you."Jennifer scoffed. She was sure Mulciber would never tell her that. Or probably anyone ever. "I am the exact same, deal with it, Riddle.""Oh, Garrick, I am," he murmured, looking back at his notebook. He grabbed the quill again and continued writing. She looked at what he was writing and widened her eyes."You didn't do the homework?" she questioned.He shrugged. "I was busy.""School just started, what could you possibly be busy with?" He paused for a few seconds as if debating if he should tell her or not. "Reading."Jennifer hummed. "Reading about what?""Magic.""Well, duh, we're in a magic school," she said. "What type of magic?"He paused his writing to look at her again. "Wanted to know more about memory spells," he revealed, his eyes staring deep into hers.His words sent shivers down her spine. Memory spells scared her, she had a deep fear of being under one and just hearing him say that made her scared of him. If she ever suspected of anything she'd kill him. "And why's that?"Tom smiled at her. "If you spent more time with me, you'd know." He resumed his homework."What you just said makes me want to spend less time with you," she said with a chuckle."Sounds like your problem, Garrick," he replied. Was he hurt?"I was just joking―" she tried to amend."Joke all you want, don't bother me." She hated his tone, the coldness in his voice, it was new and she had to fight back the sensation rising in her eyes. She was not going to cry again because of Tom Riddle."Don't be mean," she murmured, "you said you wouldn't be ―""Don't be dumb. You always have something to say, just quit it, I do not care." He looked at her again. "Think I care about a stupid bet we made months ago? I have bigger things happening in my life. If all you have going on is stupid lipstick and Mulciber, that's not my problem. Go deal with your perfect little problems, I'm trying to actually learn," he finished, pointing at the homework he was doing.She gulped and looked away from him, facing ahead. She said she didn't care about his opinion then why did that hurt her? Why did he hurt her even when she avoided him? Jenny entered the bathroom and cast a silencing spell. She put her wand down on the sink and groaned. "Die!" she yelled, hand in her hair. She pulled it with a sob. The tears she was holding earlier in the day fell down. She looked in the mirror as she let go of her hair. She looked at herself, hair ruined, cheeks wet and red as they got when she cried. "You ruin everything," she told herself in the mirror. "Die."The words weren't for herself, she'd never say that to herself, it was Tom's fault, not hers. How could it be her fault? But her mum always said how she had a special way of ruining things, pissing her off. Maybe everyone felt that, maybe everyone felt annoyed by her presence and felt too bad to say it. She looked at her mouth, the lipstick, stupid red lipstick. She smudged it with her thumb, trying to take it off. Just made it worse, there was red all around her mouth. Jennifer turned on the sink and tried to clean her mouth, crying into the water. As she raised her head there was still red there. She wanted real red. She turned off the sink and hit her fist on the porcelain sink. It hurt and she grabbed her hand in pain. It was going to leave a mark and everyone was going to annoy her about it again.She grabbed her wand again and pointed at the mirror in front of her, "Finestra." The glass shattered, falling onto the sink and floor. She yelped at the pieces that flew into her. She looked in the mirror and a small shart had cut her cheek, but nothing else. She put her wand down and grabbed a larger piece of the glass. No, she couldn't do that, not again. Things were okay, they were good again. People liked her, Mulciber liked her and he would never get with a girl that did such things, he would never ― "He's not Tom," she whispered to herself. "I bet he'd love this," she said, looking down at her covered arm and the glass in hand. She took off her robes, letting them all to the ground. She couldn't do it, it was too dangerous, she could actually hurt herself, she just ― Jennifer unbuttoned the cuff of her shirt and raised it enough so her entire forearm was exposed. 
Why would she ever cut herself? What purpose did it give? 
"Just need to see the red again," she whispered to herself. "Please." She held the broken shart against her forearm and lightly scratched. It didn't draw any blood.
She was so useless she couldn't even cut properly.
The crying had stopped in the midst of the glass breaking and the thoughts racing through her mind telling her to stop. 
She couldn't stop, it'd be one more thing she failed at, one more disappointment, not to herself but to others, one more thing to hate herself about.

Everything was fine.

It was ok.

Why would she do that?
Jennifer shook her head to clear her thoughts and pressed the glass harder, cutting into her flesh. She groaned as she drew a long cut above her wrist, where the veins stopped being visible. At first, there was no blood, just the sound of her heavy breathing and the glass against the end of the cut ― and, Merlin, the pain.As she saw the drops of blood start to leave the cut she smiled. That was true scarlet. She felt something. She felt shame, angry, happy, sad, everything. But, she felt something. Something no one could ever make her feel. She looked up at the mirror and the smile reached her eyes, but the tears also started to slip again as she saw herself. She had to do it again, stop the crying. She looked down at her arm and made a cut next to the other one, deeper that time, drawing blood instantly. It was smaller as the pain didn't let her keep going.
She dropped the shart of glass and hissed at the mess. She held her arm over the sink and let the blood fall. 
She closed her eyes and let the sting consume her. It felt good and she tried hard to push away the voice that told her to go to the infirmary. To get help, to ask if it was so wrong.
It wasn't wrong, something that feels good can never be wrong and she knew that. Everyone trying to tell her what to do felt wrong.

They were wrong.

She was going to let it bleed until it stopped, sting until it didn't anymore. She deserved the pain and she was going to take it.

September 14th 1939

(Second Year)
Jenny laughed, straightening her back. "That's not true."Felicity smiled at her, leaning closer on the couch. "He totally is."She rolled her eyes and pushed her away. "He's glancing, not staring.""So, if I go ask him, he will tell me ― "Jennifer shushed her. "You are not, Felicity Starling."Felicity smirked at her. "Oh, won't I?" she wondered, starting to get up from the couch.She widened her eyes and got up as well. "Liz, I will kill you," she threatened.Felicity laughed at her and her hand moved to flick her hair. "Please, you're too pretty to be murderous." She turned around and walked towards the armchair where Mulciber was sitting alone with a book in hand, his head was down at that moment, but before he was stealing glances at the girls."That's the worse kind of murderous."She heard Felicity scoff before they both reached the armchair. Mulciber raised his head to look at the two girls, his eyes lingering on Jennifer. "Were you staring at my friend?" she blatantly asked, hand in hip.His head tilted as she smiled at Felicity. "Why do you ask?"Jenny felt her cheeks heat up as Mulciber licked his lips, staring right at her. She subconsciously adjusted her hair. "She fell on her head as a kid, don't mind her," she joked.Felicity scoffed. "Which made me more attentive to this eye-fuckery," she said pointing in between the two of them"Excuse me?" Jennifer exclaimed with wide eyes. There was absolutely no eye-that going on. She had no wishes for any of that stuff, it just sounded gross."That's a way to put it," Mulciber replied. He was?"That is not," she complained, avoiding Mulciber's stare. "You should ask her out," Felicity suggested, a smile on her lips.Jennifer slapped her arm and stood in her stance, slightly behind her, carefully avoiding Mulciber's gaze. His green eyes pulled her into the dark forest it held. "Should I?" he asked Jennifer.She opened her mouth but she didn't know what to reply. "Umm...""Yes, do it," Felicity insisted.Jennifer was sure her face looked like a tomato, scarlet. "Felicity," she cursed.She ignored her and continued looking at the boy in front of them."Well, if you insist," he smiled at both of them, "would you like to have a date with me next week?" he asked Jennifer. She widened her eyes. A date. She had never been invited on a date. What did people even do on a date? "I...""She says yes," Felicity, as if her translator, replies.Jennifer nodded in agreement."Great, we'll keep in touch," he said with a wink.
A wink. People winked? She felt like she was in a romance novel. 
And everything was red, her heart, her cheeks, Mulciber's lips, and the scar under her sleeve she carefully hid at all times. 
So maybe not so much of a romance novel.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

September 22nd 1939

(Second Year)
Jennifer smiled at herself in the mirror, adjusting her hair so it would be perfect. As her hand got caught in the curls it messed one strand of her slightly, making it messier than the other. She groaned and grabbed her wand again, fixing up her hair again. It fell down perfectly, with no messy strands about. She nodded at herself. "It's just a date."She grabbed the lipstick Felicity gave her, it was a light pink, proper for the situation. As she put it on her hand trembled. She never trembled. Not even when her mom was yelling in her face, she got good at maintaining a calm demeanor and then sobbing in her bedroom.Jenny sighed and put her wand in her pocket. She turned around and walked out of the bathroom.It was a surprise she could fix the mirror the week before, she was a mess and somehow pulled herself together to fix up a broken mirror and clean up her arm. The scar was less off-putting than before, the one on her hand just a slightly dark mark in some parts of her hand, but the ones on her arm still had a dark red scab and a red shade around it.No one had seen it, she kept it well hidden. It stung the first days but eventually, she got used to it and easily ignored it. Physically at least.Whenever she was next to people her head was pounded by "they don't know I have this", "what would be their reaction if they saw my arm", "would they care?" A part of her wanted them to know, the other was terrified of such a thought. No one could know.She entered the dorm again and her eyes shifted down as soon as she saw Dorothea, going through her clothes. She moved towards her drawer to see if there was any bracelet she wanted to put on. "Going somewhere?" She squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds, hoping it would apparate Dorothea away. "You're usually at the library by now," she continued at the silence between them.Jenny dropped the bracelet in her hand back on the jewelry box and turned around. "It's Friday, just want to rest outside.""Your idea of resting is usually studying, Jenny," she chuckled."Not always."Dorothea walked towards her, tilting her head. "Are you mad at me?" she asked.Jennifer wanted to be out of the room. No need for a bracelet, Mulciber wouldn't even notice, guys didn't notice those things."See? You're doing that weird face," she said waving at her, "mouth open, eyes open, like you were caught. What the fuck is wrong with you?""That's a nice question...""No, don't do that, don't play all nice," she argued.Jennifer eyed the door, it wasn't too far away, she could almost run away. "I have no idea what you're talking about.""You're so her," she shouted the last word as if it were a curse word."Are you jealous I'm hanging out with Felicity more?"Dorothea scoffed. "Jealous? You flipped completely in a week. You're buddies with Felicity, you won't even look at Tom—""I sit next to him, of course, I talk to him," Jennifer interrupted, but she knew Dorothea was right. She was ignoring him, and he didn't seem to care. They talked, but it was mostly about classes since they were sat together. He seemed to be competing to make the best question during class and get the professor's praise. She hadn't forgotten the words he spat at her, they hurt and she knew he knew. She wasn't going to even laugh at a joke he made unless he apologized."You guys talk with such spite in your eyes, I actually think you don't like each other," she said. "Thankfully, because we never did."Dorothea rolled her eyes. "Is that what Felicity is telling you?"Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows. She had to pause to think that question through. She didn't talk about Tom, she didn't think she cared about him even, so it was random."She makes eyes at him, I can tell she's into him."She was not, she was sure. "Do you have no concept of a personal life?" Jennifer questioned with a glare. "Do you just stare at everyone around you hoping they play into your weird fantasies?"Dorothea looked down for a second and she seemed actually hurt. Jennifer felt bad and she opened her mouth to apologize but Dorothea spoke first. "If you hate me so much then just keep sucking off to Felicity, I'm sure she loves you and won't just move on to the next best thing soon.""I don't hate —" "Have you seen her talk to Willow?" she continued, squinting her eyes. "Have you ever even thought about that? Do you care about anyone but yourself? But your problems?"Jennifer crossed her arms. "I am not —""Your life isn't the center of everything, we all have things going on and we don't go around mopping about it, with sad faces and shy stutters. Deal with your problems and stop treating everyone you actually love like shit." She turned around before Jennifer could even think of a response. She gasped. "I am not treating you like... that, I'm just closer to someone else. Am I not allowed?"Dorothea continued tidying up her drawer, folding her shirt angrily. "You're being selfish and trying to run away from us.""Why would I be doing that?" she questioned, staring at Dorothea even if she wasn't looking her way. "I have no fucking idea, but you're just being stupid."Jenny sighed and turned back around to look at her jewelry box again. "You're going to end up like Willow soon, and by then she'll be happily by Felicity's side," she continued. Did she ever shut up?She kept bringing up Willow, and Jennifer hadn't even thought about it. They talked sometimes, she saw her next to Felicity when she wasn't, but the three of them were never together. It was like Willow was avoiding her in particular. But even then she had been alone with her in the dorm room and it was peaceful, she didn't feel any tension. "Is Willow upset?" she asked.She heard Dorothea laugh. "You haven't noticed?"Jennifer didn't answer her, putting a random bracelet on."She keeps talking to me, complaining about Felicity. They apparently had a fight a while ago and she says she's so over her, but I think if Felicity apologized she'd be by her side in no time."
Oh. That made her feel odd. She hoped Dorothea was wrong, but when was she ever? 
"You still have time to —""I'm going on a date with Mulciber," she blurted, turning around.Dorothea paused the organizing on her dresser and looked at her, mouth agape. "Mulciber? As in Blair Mulciber from Third Year Slytherin?" she asked."Yes.""Oh, love. He is so not for you," she said. "Well, he is nice and I liked him, to be honest."Dorothea sighed. "He is really weirdly possessive, that's why I never dated him. I kissed him and he got all are we courting on me, it was very annoying."Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows. It didn't sound like possessiveness to her, if you kiss someone aren't you basically dating? You didn't do those things to people you weren't with. "I like him, so I'm going," she said, starting to leave the room."Jennifer, seriously, be careful, he's really weird at times," she said.Jenny ignored her, slamming the door behind herself. She looked down at the bracelet she picked and she didn't even like it that much, but she was not entering that dorm again. Jennifer walked with Mulciber near a tree. He took off his robe and laid it down so they could sit on it. Jenny smiled at the gesture, something Tom would never do. She sat down, legs folded at her side, and looked at him."You're so beautiful, Jennifer," he complimented.She chuckled. "I always look like this."Mulciber licked his lips. "You're never this happy and smiling, it's like you're glowing."Jennifer tilted her head. She didn't think that was true, but to hear she was glowing was such a compliment she couldn't help but agree. It wasn't like sitting down and looking at the stars with Tom, the comforting silence, brush of arms making her feel more than any touch ever. She could still remember how his lips felt on her neck, she wanted it again, but also didn't, she'd want it more. Once was enough to haunt her.
Why was she thinking about Tom when Mulciber was staring at her with those green eyes?
"So, is Third Year harder?" she asked."Based on how much you study, not really, things start to fall into place," he said.Jenny nodded. "Honestly, my will to study has fallen back this year.""I still see you study a lot," he argued."I suppose that's a compliment," she muttered, "do you see what I'm up to a lot?" she bravely asked. Was that flirting? Had she successfully done it? He raised his eyebrows at her. "Do you not notice? I see you staring back, darling."Jennifer looked down. "I don't see what —" She stopped herself as she felt her chin being raised, she looked up again at him. His hand was on her chin."Lying is bad.""I suppose I do," she whispered, looking to the side again, his hand falling back down to his thigh.That was so smooth. She couldn't believe she was on a date, getting touched like that. He was interested in her and she didn't even know that'd happen so soon. Someone liked her and was being obvious about it, and she liked them too. The hand on her chin felt good, but just Tom's hand playing with her hair was better. Why was she comparing? But, the hand was so underwhelming, she even got more sensations when she read the books her cousin lent her when she came over. "See? You can be blunt, not shy like the other day," he said.Jennifer blushed even if it felt almost like an insult."Felicity really wanted you to go on a date with me, almost creepily so," he commented, "but I can't think of any ulterior motives she could've had. I think she just saw right through you."Jennifer clenched her jaw as she faked a smile at him. After the talk with Dorothea, she could feel the words clawing and drawing blood. Stupid Dorothea, putting stupid ideas into her brain. "Yeah, she knew I think you're cute.""You do?" Mulciber smirked at her. "What's cute about me?""You're a gentleman," she replied, "seriously, a date? Everyone in my year just kisses anyone, I don't even know if any of them are dating..."He chuckled. "Might be something about Slytherins, we all know we'll most likely be paired with some other Pureblood in the future, no chance of dating around.""And we still do it," Jenny muttered."Yeah, isn't Hogwarts the only time left we have?""Seven years is a long time," she said."Isn't it? And two years are already over for me, felt like two months," he replied with a chuckle.Jennifer nodded. She felt the same way, time flew by so fast and it just kept on, at times she wanted it to pause, but it didn't, it moved on with or without her. No matter the number of situations she couldn't move past at one point they were no longer days away, they were weeks, then months, then years. Time made Jennifer nervous, she didn't want to age, marry a wizard, have kids, a job... She liked Hogwarts, learning and just moving her wand about. Everything outside of that made her want to die."...Y'know?" he finished, looking up at her expecting an answer.Oh, no. She didn't hear anything he was saying because she was up in her thoughts. That rarely happened to her. "Yeah," she breathed out.He nodded. "What are your parents like? Do they say that too?"Jennifer widened her eyes. "Hmm, they're really strict."Mulciber shrugged. "We think they're strict now then will end up thanking them in the future."Jennifer was pretty sure she wouldn't be thanking her mom for nearly killing her. "Maybe.""I honestly try to listen to them as much as possible, they reward you when you do, give you more freedom. When you keep pulling back they keep trying to pull you in."Jenny chuckled. She was never doing anything and they bothered her anyway. She hated when people talked about their parents because she realized how outside of her reality it was. That's why talking to Tom was so satisfying, that never came up, she didn't know anything about his parents and he knew perfectly how hers were, albeit through dubious methods.When her attention was on him again she realized he had stopped talking again. Why did she keep getting distracted? "So, what's your favorite spell?" he asked.She forced a smile and gathered her strength for the rest of the date. He had such boring topics, but she had something to prove. To Dorothea, to Tom, to herself. She could be normal, she could have dates and talk about normal topics. And Mulciber was normal.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

September 22nd 1939

(Second Year)
When Dorothea heard about Jennifer's date various thoughts crossed her mind.With Blair? When did they ever talk? He asked her out? Does Tom know? Why are they mad at each other?  What would be Tom's reaction?She could have the answers to those questions if she talked to one person. No, not Jennifer, she wouldn't talk shit. She was too great for it, hanging out with Felicity, and starting to wear makeup, her entire demeanor spoke preppy. Not that she wasn't already, but she felt like it was slipping out the year before, and somehow it came in full force at the beginning of that school year. Anything that challenged her set beliefs made her scared. But, Dorothea was sure she'd get over it. There was a fire in her blue eyes. She had a few Gryffindor friends and they had that exact same look, the defiance, the willpower, the bravery... All that Jenny could have if she let back a bit. If she opened up.Dory knew little about Jenny's life, but she knew how she acted and reacted. She didn't know the real motives, but she saw the potential behind it all. And she didn't think she needed to know the true intention, as only as she felt like she was being real.She knew Felicity was being real, a real fucking bitch most of the time, masked by her rare moments of humanity. The worst people were the ones pretending they were nice. "Knew I'd find you here," Dory greeted, pulling back a chair and sitting on it. Tom's brown eyes met her respective ones, he had that annoyed expression she loved to see. "Do you use locator spells on everyone?" he asked."No, just you," she replied with a smile. She laid her chin in the palms of her hands, staring up at him with a smile. "So..."Tom raised his eyebrows at her."Little bird told me Jennifer went on a date, right now," she said, keeping her eyes on his expression for any hints of anger or annoyance.He was hard to read. The one person Dorothea couldn't figure out the emotions of. She guessed it for the most part and sometimes her confidence made people agree with her, it was like a spell. It didn't work with Tom. He wasn't unpleasant to talk to, he was quite helpful and intelligent. Very studious and down-to-earth. His face displayed disbelief in the way of widened eyes and agape mouth. "With who?" he asked. "It was Mulciber, wasn't it?"Dorothea nodded. So he knew. "Why would she go out with him?""Why do you think, Tom?" He gulped as he leaned back on the chair.  "What should I think, Dorothea?""You've been ignoring her, she's finding her love somewhere else. You two are like some lovers turned ex-lovers turned lovers turned exes, you get the drill." He rolled his eyes and Dorothea shrugged. "Can't blame her — well, he's a weirdo so I definitely can, and he's not even close to interesting enough for her.""He's the blok-est bloke ever," he agreed. "I know, he kisses like one, just plain mechanized movements —""Dorothea, please shut up," he interrupted, his face cringing at her words."I'm worried about her," she said, "dating him? It's like she wants to be bored, and why would she? What's stressing her so much? Is it you? Are you stressing my Jenny out?" Tom scoffed. "She's out there dating other guys and I'm the one in the wrong?"Dorothea instantly smirked at him. She caught him. She could see the moment he realized his words as a pink flush filled his cheeks, she had never seen that on him and it made her squeal. She pointed her finger at him. "You are into her!" she exclaimed. "I knew it!" She jumped in her seat."I did not say that—""You said other guys like you're one of the guys," she said, "did you guys ever date?"He opened his mouth to respond but closed it. She could hear his resignation in the sigh he gave. "No, we did not. It's not like that.""Why don't you ask her out? She'd drop Blair in a second, please ask her out," she pleaded. Dorothea could imagine it, them holding hands down the hallways, only when no one was watching, of course, both didn't seem the type for displays of affection. Stolen kisses here and there. They'd both be much happier, and Dory wanted to see them happy, they seemed like really grumpy people and she loved trying to revert that."Don't start doing that...""You guys are so in love with each other, why not?" He furrowed his eyebrows. "She was fond of me last year, sure, but in love? I wouldn't call it that, ever." She was? How did he know? They talked about it? She wished she was a fly, she'd die to hear a conversation alone between them.Dorothea furrowed her eyebrows at him. He was speaking like such an adult. Dorothea didn't even understand the difference between the two, it all felt the same. "You really want to watch her make out with Blair in hallways?" He looked down at the table. "Because trust me they will, he's the type. Just because you're scared."His head raised instantly and his eyes shot daggers at her, but she didn't feel scared. "I am not scared. I do not want to date her. I have no interest in her. She's the one ignoring me, and if that's what she wants, I don't care."Dorothea rolled her eyes. "You are both so stubborn, I don't know why I try.""I agree, I also do not know why you try.""Sounds like your problem."He shook his head.She looked down at the notebook in front of him. "Is that the Charms homework? Are you writing down the spells he told us to research?" Before he could answer she stole the notebook from his grip, he just let her.
She was going to get something out of him, slowly, but she was.

September 25th 1939

(Second Year)
Jenny twitched in her seat. Tom hadn't looked at her even once, not even when she sat down next to him. She didn't say hello either, but for the past two weeks she hadn't done it and he always greeted her anyway. There was 10 minutes left until the lesson started. She wasn't sure why they still sat next to each other, it was like an unspoken agreement. Jennifer wasn't sure what was wrong, but it also felt like nothing was right either. Things just flipped out of nowhere, like they were unavoidable. She was pretty sure if she talked to him he'd respond. Was she? He would. But, she didn't want to talk to him, scared he'd be mean again. That was a dilemma she was sure she wouldn't have with Mulciber. He didn't argue or have any expressions besides smiles and winks at her, she was glad with that, no room for stress. She wondered how he would react if he saw the scar on her arm if he saw how she did it. He would never understand, she was sure no one would.She got distracted sometimes when he talked, but it was only on the boring topics she didn't want to hear about. It didn't seem to make a difference since she could pick up the conversation regardless.She told Felicity all about her date, and she seemed very happy for her. She said they were both good-looking people and good-looking people should be together. Jennifer wasn't sure about dating. If he asked, she'd probably agree, but it wasn't something she cared about. As long as he didn't bother her studies she wouldn't mind.Would they have to kiss? Hold each other? They had to touch a lot? None of those seemed appealing to her. Others could just look at them. She didn't want others to see her being romantic or soft, it was like showing your biggest weaknesses for free, something others can easily hurt you for.Tom leaned back on his chair, glancing at her from the side. Jennifer wanted to stab him. He traced the edges of the History of Magic book. She watched him fold the edges more inward as they were slightly used. On a whim, she reached over and folder them more outward. She quickly retracted her hand and looked ahead.Tom scoffed but didn't say anything. He reached over to her quill and Jenny started to raise her hand to stop him, but before she could he prodded her notebook sheet with the quill, forming an ink blob in the middle of the sheet. It covered some of the words she had written the class before.She opened her mouth at him, looking straight at him. He put the quill away and looked back at her, not letting the gaze flatter. She was angry, very angry. She hadn't been that angry in a long time. It felt good. It was rare that anything made her feel since she went back to Hogwarts, but he always managed to in the most annoying way possible.Tom kept staring at her as if to dare her to talk. She felt her tongue aching to move, to form words. To make things worse he reached over and flipped her hair into her face. She slapped his hand away and quickly adjusted her hair. "Tom, I hate you so much," she broke the silence. He smiled at her. "You're easy to break."Jenny crossed her arms and looked away from him. "Are you done ignoring me, Riddle?"He scoffed. "As if you weren't doing the same."She looked at him again, he was still smiling, eyes heavy on hers. She wanted to fall into them, get lost, and let him guide her. Lame. "Merely been up to other things.""Like dates?"Jennifer unfolded her arms and gulped.  He knew? How could he possibly know if she told Mulciber to not talk about it? Could Felicity have... Of course, Dorothea. "Didn't see it as being your thing, Garrick, " he continued. "You being up-tight and all. I kissed your neck once and you were all putty after."Jennifer blushed at the remembrance. Not that she didn't think about it, but it had been a long time since then and they never talked about it. Always swept under the rug. "That was so long ago, I don't even think about it anymore."Tom raised his eyebrows at her and got his arm behind her, on the back of her chair. "You only think about your darling Mulciber now?"Jenny felt hot. With him so close, the mention of when he kissed her neck, she could feel it again, and he was right there, it was making her head race. "We're going on another date this week," she blurted.The sudden tingling on her scalp almost made her whimper, but she contained it in her throat. He twirled a strand of her hair on his fingers. He was always so gentle with it, how did he even know how to do it? "Good luck on not wishing it was me."Jennifer gasped. "What?"He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Don't... do that, Riddle."Tom grinned at her, a needless display of his perfect white teeth. "What? You can't handle it? If you only have eyes for your darling prince Mulciber, why does it bother you, Jennifer?"She wasn't sure how to answer that. "Does it bother you I get close?" He leaned even further into her space, his breath hitting her face. "That I touch your hair?" He raised his hand to grab the hairs directly on her scalp, tugging slightly back which made a moan leave her throat. She stopped it quickly, but not quick enough for him to not notice. "Doesn't sound like it," he said, letting go of his grip, she noticed him shift on his seat as he stepped back, pulling his robes over his legs.She sighed. "What the hell, Tom?" she couldn't help but let out."Bad words are for bad girls," he muttered, not looking at her.She blinked at him. She wasn't even sure what to say. He had given her feelings she never in her life felt, she couldn't even name them.  "And I'm sure you wanna be good, right?" he asked, glancing at her. "I'm sure Mulciber loves that," he finished with a chuckle.She ignored him. Or pretended to, because ignoring was proven to be impossible.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

October 4th 1939

(Second Year)
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"I've gone out with Mulciber three times now in the past three weeks. We also see each other in the common room and talk. He says I can go be with him even if he's with his friends, but I don't want to. Too many people.

He keeps looking at my lips. I think he wants to kiss me. I don't want to. He is going to be thinking we're dating and I hate that. But, every time we're talking I can't help but do what Felicity teaches me, smile and laugh at his jokes, twirl my hair, bite my lip.

She says boys are really into that.

Boys, boys, boys.

Ew, ew, ew.

Anyway, sorry for not writing for a while, diary, just been too busy thinking to be writing. It's like writing makes it real. And, certain things I sure don't want to make real.

I'm sorry, for you know what. Hopefully, you don't, future self. Maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about, too busy with husband, kids and whatever your job is.

I hope today becomes forgotten. I'm so scared of what I did I'd rather not name it. No one can know, not even you.

And, well, if you do remember, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I never mean to. I don't even want to know the consequences, hopefully it was all a dream.

Bye ♥"

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The day had started just like another. Got ready quickly, put on some lipstick and was starting to dabble with some blush, it looked too red on her cheeks sometimes, or too light on others. She'd rather it be too light. She went to class earlier so she could have some time to study. Tom arrived sometime later, almost in time for class. "Is this the time you should be arriving at?" she teased as he sat down with labored breath. He shook his head. "I arrive whenever."Jenny chuckled. "Woke up late, Tommy?"His head turned so fast to look at her that she couldn't help but keep laughing. "Did you just call me... Tommy?"She shrugged. "If it bothers you, of course."The professor entered the room and the conversation quickly ended. She liked the knit on his eyebrows as he still processed her usage of Tommy, but with the professor in front of them, he couldn't start complaining.The rest of the classes flew by. Before she knew it she was sitting on the couch in the common room, smiling up at Mulciber. He sat next to her. "How were your classes?" he asked.Such a boring question. "Good how were yours?""Better if you were there," he replied with a wink.Jennifer shook her head. "I'd get in your way of learning.""Only thing I wanna learn is the taste of your lips, darling," he said.Lips. Both their lips. Touching. She felt her heart drop at the mental image he conjured. "I don't kiss my friends."He raised his eyebrows at her. "Who said we're friends?"Jennifer wondered if he thought they were more. Maybe he had said so while she wasn't paying attention and she agreed to it. She had replied yes quite a lot without knowing what he had asked. She couldn't have a boyfriend, she couldn't do the couple stuff. She couldn't―"Of course, I'll ask you out properly, though," he added, a hand going behind her, his arm touching her shoulders, wrapping her in such a suffocating way."Oh."He smiled. "Soon, baby don't worry," he said, kissing the top of her head.Jennifer chuckled in fear. She could opposed to everything and she wanted to, but a part of her made her lean into his shoulder. Maybe that part was right, it was better to say yes than to keep mulling about all the sadness in her life.She was going to take him, otherwise no one would want her, and she'd keep being seen as the shy girl everyone eyed oddly. They wouldn't eye her like that anymore. They'd be jealous.  "Better be, or I'll think you're seeing other girls too, Mulciber.""Stop calling me that, I've already said, it's Blair to you," he said.She rolled her eyes, but he couldn't see her from their position. "I'm just used to it, big thing in my family.""Mine too and I can do it. Just try harder, Jennifer."Jennifer nodded. "I apologize.""It's fine, just, you don't need to act like this mighty rich girl, you can be yourself with me."That was who she was. She was raised like that her entire life. Had he listened? "I'm sorry," she heard herself say and she cringed at her submissiveness, but she didn't want to push him away and at any small thing, it sounded like he was closer to uncovering her."It's okay, darling," he said with a kiss on her head. "I'm always here for you and you shouldn't be scared to act normal. They can't see you here, you can do or say anything."
Didn't she know it.
As Jennifer stepped outside she could finally breathe again. She wanted to stop seeing Mulciber, she hated his presence, how his words and touches invaded her entire self. He was everywhere whenever she left class, in her free time and her busy one. She wanted to scream, to yell and shout to the entire world how done she was.But, she's only 12. How can she be done with what she hasn't experienced yet?She was surely overreacting, running away because she had never seen love. And, Mulciber could show her love, he could love her and show her the way. Even if it itched under her skin, and even if Dorothea was right. She needed her not to be. She needed to prove something to everyone. Tom didn't know anything, he couldn't affect her, he was trying to get into her head through other methods, and she basically proved him right, folding under him the week before. The thoughts overspilled, made her want to scream again. She looked around and noticed no one was near. It was dark and misty, no one could see her outside unless they had some sort of light.It was scary. She couldn't see anything either, surrounding her or watching her. Someone could be planning her death as she stood there scared of her life, her mundane life. Some people begged for what she had, and she willed it away, she was so ungrateful. Her mother was always right.No. She kept walking further, her head filled with words and wants she couldn't answer to. She had to escape, feel something else.
Feel.
She saw the trees getting closer, but it was like her feet were servants at her mere will, and she didn't even see her own will. What did she want?More thoughts, more steps. The trees surrounded her. Jenny had entered the Forbidden Forest. She knew nothing but the history of the place, the creatures were just an animated photo in some book. They all had the same warning, stay away. She didn't understand why so many kids did, or maybe the ones that didn't were just never heard from again.The forest felt familiar like she had been there, but she never saw those, trees, that vegetation, those weeds. The magical flowers.There were sounds, and they didn't scare her, low rumblings and occasional mumbles. Like human voices. The more she walked, the more they spoke, or maybe the louder they got. She wasn't trying to follow a straight line, albeit she had to suddenly run back. Would be easier on a somewhat straight line."Dangerous night even for a dangerous girl," she heard. Jennifer turned around, her heart in her ears. Her eyes widened at the sight in front of her. A centaur.She was looking at a centaur in the flesh, half man, half horse. It was harder than in the books where they were drawn so animal-like. Harder because she could see the long hair as if humans, the defined abs, more than what an average human would have. Then, it was just horse. "I can tell you never saw me before." He already sounded like Mr. Obvious.Jennifer shook her head. "I... I don't know why I came here, don't hurt me, please.""The words lonesome men will one-time whisper to such a fallen soul."Jennifer furrowed her eyebrows. She knew they had a way of talking in riddles, especially when talking about the future. The divination art scared her, she did not want to know the future, she felt like it would affect her, make her overthink and burn. He galloped closer and she took a step back, the sound of a branch crackling was heard in the night's silence. "Any creature here would be scared of you, doubt you should worry.""I... I'm a 12-year-old witch, I think no one's scared of me."He tilted his head at her. "The woods yell when there's no one to hear them."Jenny looked back at where she came from, the mist made it hard to see beyond 3 trees. "I can't yell if you're here to hear."The centaur smiled at her as if surprised by her answer. "You're smart, more than the kids I have to scare away from here." She sure hoped she was smarter than the kids stupid enough to enter a forest with forbidden in its name."Is this supposed to be scary?" she bravely quired. If he wanted to hurt her she was sure he had already. "We can feel your pain, we want to end it," he said, moving closer but she didn't move that time. He stood in front of her, looking down on her. "Hurts us too.""I'm sorry," she whispered, looking up at the centaur. "I don't know how to stop. I don't even know why I came here, I just want all the thoughts to... to stop," she muttered, her voice shaky on her last words. She could feel the tears bundling in her eyes."They will, as you lose control, they will.""Merlin, why's all that everyone ever says? Am I not enough as I am?" she asked."Not yet," he replied. What a direct reply.Jenny sighed. "Am I supposed to take this seriously because you can see the future?" The centaur grinned at her. "I'm not talking future, I'm talking what I see in front of me, your energy, your radiance..." he reached back to take out an arrow.Jennifer remained still afraid to ruin the peacefulness of it all. He held out his arm, arrow in hand. She opened her mouth to speak but dropped the arrow in front of her. She tried to grab it, but it still fell to the ground. "Grab it."Jenny gulped as she got on one knee to grab the arrow. She quickly got to her feet as the situation left her uneasy, and she eyed the one-way exit once more. "You know what to do," he simply replied.Jennifer looked down at the arrow and back at him. She didn't."You must sacrifice to the forest so it sacrifices to you."Jenny widened her eyes at that word. It usually implied death or spillage of blood, she didn't want to be involved in either. "I do not need the forest to sacrifice for me.""It already does, even when you're away."She shook her head, confused at what the centaur could be referring to. She definitely didn't feel protected at home, if anything it was like she was cursed. "If you don't think about it, you'll know what to do."Jennifer looked at the arrow again, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. The thoughts started racing through her brain again as if the darkness allowed her to see everyone. Felicity and Mulciber guided her through one side. Tom through another. She wanted to follow the path she was meant to be on, but it crumbled under her, she couldn't reach them. Tom's was so easy she levitated through it. She didn't want any of their paths. Of their words and advice. They always knew what was right for her, and told her what to do. They knew everything about nothing. She wanted them all to die. She opened her eyes and looked down. She made a hole in the right leg of her tights, they were always so tight anyway, barely fit her. She had to get new ones. It was all so restricting. All the people, the clothes, the ambiance, even the centaur that stood there looking at with with a smile that sent a chill all over her back. She held the arrow in her right hand and pulled up her skirt slightly. She dug the arrow into her leg, groaning as she felt pain. She scratched it up until it reached her inner thigh region. She looked as the blood started to pour down her leg, it wasn't a lot, but enough got on the arrow as the centaur immediately reached out his hand.Jennifer was breathing heavily, the pain in her leg, the cold chill running through her wound, the look on the centaur's eyes as he pulled the arrow up to his face."Is that what you wanted?" she asked.He smiled at her as suddenly threw the arrow to a nearby tree. Jennifer moaned as it was like it hit her. She could feel suddenly the magic running rapidly through her veins, it hurt and it felt good at the same time. She groaned as she breathed even more heavily. It was like warmness, coming from inside, filling her more and more until she could feel it leaving her, becoming bigger than her. She opened her eyes, not realizing she had closed them, her hands were glowing like stars. Yellow and bright, illuminating the forest. She could see the way out, the light traveled towards there."Is that what you wanted?" he asked back.Jennifer widened her eyes at him and suddenly she was light, her head was light, she was light. Everything went black.Which brought her to her bed, writing heavily in her diary, the ink passing to the other side. She closed it with a thump, breathing heavily.She didn't remember going back to the dorm room, she just opened her eyes and was staring at herself in the bathroom. The wound on her leg was bandaged and she didn't know by what. She hoped it was a dream, it had to be.A centaur would kill her if he saw her in person.
It was all her head.

It was a dream.

A dream.

Just a dream.