Archive of Our Own

Work Text

Steve Harrington walked out of Hawkins Middle School and breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled the tie from his long hair and let it fall around his shoulders. It was the last day of school, and he was looking forward to the next three months off work. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his job because he did. He loved being a middle school guidance counselor. But he also loved having his summers off. His fiancé, Nicole, was still working, but she was planning to take a couple of weeks off later in the summer so they could take a vacation together. That was something they hadn’t done in the four years they’d been together. Steve wanted to go to Hawaii, but Nicole was leaning more towards Paris. As much as Steve really had no desire to go to Paris, he would eventually give in. He usually did when it came to Nicole.  Steve and Nicole had known each other their whole lives. They, along with Tommy and Carol, had always been best friends. But when Tommy moved away, their little group had drifted apart. Then a few months later, Nicole’s family moved to Evansville. He hadn’t seen her again until she moved back to work at Hawkins National Lab. They had reconnected as friends and after almost a year, Steve had finally asked her out. They had been together ever since and living together for close to nine months. Over Spring Break, Steve had asked her to marry him, and they were planning a Christmas wedding. Steve turned the radio on in his car. Metallica was playing on the one Indianapolis rock station they picked up in Hawkins. He smiled to himself. Metallica always made him think of Eddie Munson. And Eddie always made him smile. Sure, Eddie had broken his heart. But he still smiled when he thought about him. Though he tried not to think about him too often. It had gotten easier over the years, especially once he’d started dating Nicole. But every once in a while, something would remind him of Eddie, and he would smile. It had been ten years since Eddie had disappeared. He’d run away after Wayne’s funeral and no one in Hawkins had seen or heard from him since. At first, Steve had been emotionally wrecked. For months he was in a funk and avoided his friends and life in general. He felt bad about the way he treated Robin back then. He took out his depression on her. It had put a major strain on their relationship until the day that Robin had had enough of his moping and blew her top at him. It was at her insistence that Steve got off his ass, stopped feeling sorry for himself, and had gone to college and gotten his degree in child development. When Steve got home, he changed out of the suit and tie he wore to work and into a pair of jeans and a faded Pearl Jam shirt. It would be a while before Nicole got home so he grabbed a beer and went out onto their back deck to drink it and smoke a joint before starting dinner. He liked the fact that he was always home before Nicole for a couple of reasons. First, she wasn’t the biggest fan of him smoking, so he never did it in front of her. Second, he liked cooking. That worked for them since Nicole didn’t like it, nor was she particularly good at it. But Steve liked cooking and Nicole liked his cooking, so it worked out for both of them. After smoking and finishing his beer, Steve went to the kitchen to get dinner started. By the time Nicole came in just after six, Steve was just setting the table for dinner. He heard her come in and call out that she was home, then he heard the bedroom door close. She would change before dinner, like she always did. Then she’d meet Steve in the kitchen, and they would enjoy dinner and a bottle of wine together. She came in just as he was dishing the chicken tikka masala and basmati rice he’d made onto plates. He stopped what he was doing just long enough to kiss her softly when she went up on her toes next to him. She pulled back and made a face. “What?” “Have you been smoking,” Nicole asked. Steve didn’t answer, just shrugged halfheartedly. “I can taste it, babe. I really wish you wouldn’t smoke that stuff. It’s not good for you.” “Smoking weed never hurt anyone,” Steve answered as he poured two glasses of wine and put them on the table. “In fact, researchers are making huge strides in proving that marijuana can actually be medically beneficial.” He pulled Nicole’s chair out for her, and she sat down. “The research is in its infancy, but I bet you they’ll start legalizing it in the near future.” “I still won’t like the smell or taste.” Steve sat down across from her. “How was the last day of school,” Nicole asked. “Amazingly uneventful,” Steve answered. “Exactly the way it should be. How was your day? You were late. Get hung up at the lab?” “No, I actually left a little early,” she replied. “But your mom called me, so I stopped by your parents’ house on my way home.” Steve raised his eyes to meet hers. She was giving him that look, the one she gave him when his mom bugged her about providing her with grandbabies. “She had some books she wanted to give me.” “That’s it?” That was surprising. Steve’s mom was desperate for grandchildren. But Steve wasn’t ready yet and Nicole wanted whatever Steve wanted. “She didn’t ask when I’m going to get you pregnant?” “Well, that’s all she said she wanted,” Nicole laughed. “She didn’t mention babies once. But one of the books was a book of baby names.” Steve burst into a fit of laughter. “Oh, and she gave me something for you that came in yesterday's mail.” “At my parents’ house?” Nicole nodded as she took a bite of food. Steve had not lived with his parents since the summer of 1986 when he moved to Chicago to go to college. Even when he graduated and moved back to Hawkins, he had gotten his own apartment, then eventually, his own house. “That’s weird.” “I’ll get it for you.” She stood up and went to get the piece of mail. “It’s probably junk,” she said as she sat back down and handed the envelope to Steve. “I can’t think of anyone who would send me anything there,” Steve said as he took it. The envelope was hand addressed to him in impossibly neat, block lettering, and there was no return address. He squinted at the postmark. “Tracy, California,” he said. “Do we know anyone in California?” “Nancy and Jonathan live in San Diego,” she answered. “Opposite end of the state,” Steve laughed as he tore open one end of the envelope. “I think.” “So, when are we going to have a baby?” Steve glanced up at Nicole. She knew he wasn’t ready for that yet. He wanted to wait until after they were married. “I’m teasing,” she laughed. “I’m perfectly happy with practicing making a baby. For now.” “The practicing is the best part,” he answered with a wink. He pulled out a folded piece of paper, and as he unfolded it, a smaller piece of paper fluttered out and fell to the floor. As he bent to pick up the fallen paper, the signature at the bottom of the brief note caught his attention causing his breath to catch in his throat. It was just an E with little devil horns above it. Eddie. He picked the smaller paper up from the floor and realized it was a check. It was made out to him for ten thousand dollars, and it was signed Eddie Munson. Steve sat up straight again and read the note.  ‘This is to pay you and your parents back for everything you did for me. Sorry it took so long. E.’  It took everything he had in him not to fall apart right there. Eddie. After all these years. He stared at the note, turned the envelope and the check over and over in his hand. There was no return address. The address on the check was a Post Office box. Steve took a deep breath and held it. His head was swimming; his pulse was racing. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. For a moment, he honestly thought he was going to pass out. Then he let out the breath he’d been holding and gasped for air. “Steve, baby?” He looked up at Nicole. “Is something wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” “Nothing’s wrong.”  Steve’s voice cracked as he spoke, and Nicole didn’t believe him for one second. But before she could say anything else, Steve stood up and abruptly left the room. Eddie. After ten years. Steve couldn’t believe it. He went into the bedroom and shut the door. He couldn’t believe that after ten years, his heart still swelled so full of love when he saw that little E with the devil horns over it. He also couldn’t believe how much it hurt. After ten years, out of the blue, he just writes Steve a letter? No, it wasn’t even a letter. It was a two-sentence note.  And he hadn’t even put a return address on the envelope so that Steve could send the check back. Steve didn’t want or need the money. He’d never regretted the help they’d given Eddie, and they had never expected to be repaid. They’d helped Eddie because he needed help. And honestly, Steve couldn’t imagine where Eddie would have gotten ten thousand dollars that he could just send them. He’d apologized for taking so long to pay them back. There’s no telling what Eddie was doing these days where he could afford to just give away that much money. Steve went to the bookshelf and pulled out the old copy of The Hobbit he had. He bought it right after Eddie left because Eddie used to talk about it when they were spending time together back then. He wanted to read it to make himself feel a little closer to Eddie, to understand him a little better. He read it, hated it, but he kept it. And tucked inside, folded up between the pages, was the note that Eddie had left stuck to the refrigerator door for Steve. He slipped the new note and the check inside the book and stood there staring at it for a long time. Steve felt something welling up inside him. He didn’t understand what he was feeling. It felt like happiness, sadness, anxiety, anticipation, love, fear, and anger were all fighting for domination in the pit of his stomach. He could feel his heart starting to race and he could hear his pulse hammering in his ears. For a moment, he felt dizzy and put one hand on the bookshelf to steady himself. As the dizziness passed, Steve realized he was crying. Tears were streaming down his face, and he was sobbing uncontrollably. He finally understood that feeling in the pit of his stomach. He still loved Eddie, no matter how much he tried to pretend he didn’t. He loved and missed Eddie and he was angry that Eddie had contacted him after all these years. “Steve?” Nicole stuck her head in the room and Steve hurriedly wiped his eyes and cheeks with the heel of his hand before pushing his long hair back out of his face. “Baby, what’s going on?” “Nothing,” Steve answered as he put The Hobbit back in its place on the shelf. “Go finish your dinner, babe. I’ll be out in a minute.” “Baby, look at me.” Steve hesitated but finally turned to face Nicole. “You’re crying, Steve. What was in that envelope?” “It was nothing, Nic.”  She planted her hands on her hips and gave him a stern look. She didn’t believe him, and he knew it. But could he tell her the truth? She knew he was bisexual; he’d told her that when they first started dating. But she’d known Eddie; she’d seen him and Tommy beat him up when they were younger. How would she react if she knew that the man she was going to marry had not only been in love with Eddie, but that he still was? He dragged his eyes up to meet hers and wiped away the fresh tears that he was powerless to stop. “Oh, Steve!” Nicole went to him and wrapped her arms around him. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Steve laid his head on her shoulder and stopped trying to fight it. He cried for five minutes solid. When he finally stopped, he stepped out of Nicole’s arms and gave her an apologetic look. “Do you want to talk about it?” “No,” Steve answered. “But I probably should.” He reached for her and took her hand. “I should probably start being honest with you.” “Have you not been honest with me?” He shook his head. “Okay. Talk to me. What haven’t you been honest about?” “Let’s go back to the table,” Steve said as he led her out of the bedroom and back to the kitchen. “I’ll explain while we eat.” At the table, Steve picked up his glass of wine and downed it all in one long gulp, then picked up the bottle and refilled it. He took several more sips then finally looked Nicole in the eye. “Do you remember Eddie Munson?” “I remember you and Tommy used to beat him up,” she answered. “But I don’t really remember him as a person. I never knew him.” “I fell in love with him.” Nicole’s hand stopped in midair, her fork halfway to her mouth. “He was actually my boyfriend for about two weeks before . . .” Steve’s voice broke so he took another sip of wine. “His father died, and after the funeral he disappeared. He broke up with me in a note that he left stuck to his refrigerator for me to find when I went looking for him. He’d left town.” “Oh, Steve,” Nicole said softly. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.” “That was ten years ago,” Steve continued. “I never heard from him again.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Until now.” “The envelope? It was from him?” Steve nodded slowly. “What did he say.” “It doesn’t matter,” Steve told her.  “I don’t understand what this has to do with you lying to me.” “I didn’t lie, I just wasn’t honest about my feelings,” he said. “I loved him. I still love him.” He dropped his eyes. “He was . . . is the one true love of my life.” Nicole didn’t answer. She just watched him as he nervously fidgeted with his fork. Finally, he looked up from under lowered lashes. “Say something.” “Are you telling me that you don’t love me, Steve?” “No, Nic, no,” Steve said quickly. “That’s not what I’m saying at all.” He sighed heavily. “I’m just saying that I’m in love with someone else.” “How can you love someone who broke your heart, and you haven’t seen or heard from in a decade?” “Believe me,” Steve sighed. “I tried not to love him.”  It was true. He didn’t want to be in love with someone that he couldn’t have. He’d tried to forget Eddie, bury his feelings for him. But that note had struck him hard. It wasn’t like Eddie was trying to seek him out and rekindle anything. He’d merely paid back some money he thought he owed Steve. He hadn’t put a return address on the envelope. It’s not like Steve could find him. How big was Tracy, California, anyway? How could he find one man who obviously didn’t want to be found in a city he knew nothing about? Steve watched Nicole for a moment while she ate. He’d lost his appetite and his food was just sitting there, getting cold while he pushed it around the plate with his fork. What if he did go looking for Eddie? Would Eddie even want to see him? What good would it do anyway? Their lives were thousands of miles apart. But Steve just wanted to see him. He wanted to see, with his own two eyes, that Eddie was safe and happy and living his best life. That’s all.  He glanced up at Nicole again. He couldn’t be that unfair to her. He did love her. Maybe it wasn’t the same way he loved Eddie. But he loved her enough that he would marry her and maybe someday have kids. Maybe. The only thing he was sure of right now was that he wanted to talk to someone about what he was feeling, He knew that he should talk to Nicole and just be completely honest with her. But it was hard to talk about loving someone else with the person who loved you.  “Steve, are you listening to me?” “What?” Steve looked up at Nicole. She looked annoyed so she had probably been talking to him for a bit while his mind was somewhere else. “I’m sorry. What did you say?” “I asked what the letter said.” “What letter?” “Are you serious?” Nicole put her fork down angrily and glared at Steve. “The letter from Eddie that had you crying in the bedroom. What did it say?”“Oh.” Steve suddenly felt stupid. He was so lost in his own thoughts that what Nicole was saying didn’t make any sense at first. “It wasn’t a letter. It was a check.” “A check? For how much?” “Ten grand.” Her eyes went wide with surprise and her mouth gaped open. “I’m not cashing it.” “Why the hell not, Steve?” She was angry now and she was not trying to hide it. “Do you know how much ten thousand dollars would help with our vacation? And our wedding?” “I know, babe,” Steve said placatingly. “But even if I planned to cash it, it would be my parents’ money. Not mine.” Nicole crossed her arms over her chest and just stared at him. She wanted more of an explanation than that. “When Eddie’s dad was sick, I borrowed money from my dad to help Eddie out. I paid his rent and utilities so they wouldn’t get kicked out on the street. I paid for the medication his dad needed.” Nicole’s look softened and her posture relaxed. “And after he passed away, my mom and dad paid for the funeral.” “You took care of them?” Steve nodded. “And he still ran off and left you without a word?” He nodded again. “Then I say cash the damned check. He owes you.” “He doesn’t owe me anything!”  Steve was angry now though he knew he shouldn’t be. Nicole couldn’t understand what Steve felt for Eddie; he couldn’t blame her. But deep inside he was blaming her, as irrational as it was. He just didn’t want to talk about this anymore. Not with her. He wanted to talk to Robin. He could go see her tomorrow while Nicole was at work. Tomorrow was Friday. Robin worked on Fridays, but he could take her to lunch, and they could talk then. She understood how he felt about Eddie. Besides, it had been months since they’d spent any time together. With her living and working in Indianapolis now, they didn’t get to see each other as often as they’d like. He’d go see her, take her to lunch, and they would talk. She’d tell him that he needed to forget Eddie Munson ever existed, and he’d agree with her. He’d feel better, come back home to Nicole, and they would continue to plan their vacation and wedding. “I’m sorry, baby.” Steve raised his eyes to meet Nicole’s. “I get that you loved him. I’m not sure that I understand how you still love him after all this time, especially with the way he left you. But it’s obvious that you do. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so harsh about it.” “It’s okay,” Steve answered. “My feelings for Eddie never made much sense. I went from bullying him to being attracted to him to loving him. It was irrational.” “Love is irrational,” she replied with a soft laugh. “Anyway, why don’t I do the dinner dishes and you go take a hot bath and relax. I’ll be up to help you relax in a bit.” “Help me relax?” “We can practice making babies.” She winked and Steve smiled. That was actually the last thing he wanted to do right now, but maybe it would help him take his mind off Eddie. “Sound like a plan?” “Yeah, it does.” Steve stood up, went around the table, and pulled Nicole to her feet before planting a soft kiss on her lips. “Thank you for trying to understand.” “Of course, babe,” Nicole answered. “I love you, Steve.” Steve kissed her again and went upstairs to take a bath. He ran the water as hot as he could stand it and laid back in the tub with a warm washcloth over his face and tried to block everything out of his head. Which turned out to be an exercise in futility. The more he tried not to think about Eddie, all he could think about was Eddie. Eddie had been the last guy that Steve had been with. When Eddie left, he didn’t want to be with another guy. From that point on, he had dated only women. He had been afraid that being with a guy would only remind him of being with Eddie, though they had never been together not really. Steve remembered the night before Wayne had died. He remembered going down on Eddie, how good Eddie had tasted, how much he’d enjoyed what Steve had done to him. He smiled fondly, remembering that Eddie had been a virgin. Before Steve, Eddie had kissed two girls in his life and that was it. He was so inexperienced, but at the same time, he was skilled. When he touched Steve, when they kissed, it was like he knew exactly what to do to send electric sparks through Steve’s entire body. Steve slid his hand down his body and let his fingers just brush the tip of his dick. Eddie’s fingers had been calloused from playing guitar, but they felt so good on his skin. He wrapped his hand around his dick and stroked slowly. It had been so long since he’d done this. Since Nicole had moved in with him, he hadn’t ever seen the need. He didn’t really need to at the moment either; Nicole would be in and they would have sex soon. But he wanted a minute to think about Eddie alone. It didn’t take long either. He was fully erect, his dick standing straight up out of the water in just a minute. He let go when he heard Nicole come into the bedroom. He could hear her moving around, humming a soft tune as she turned back the bed. Steve got out of the tub, dried off, and combed his wet hair back off his face and shoulders. Then he went out into the bedroom. Nicole was halfway through undressing and Steve stood there, completely naked, waiting for her to notice. She looked up and smiled as he took several steps to close the distance between them. He caught her in his arms, and pulled her into a deep, lingering kiss. “Looks like you started without me,” She breathed against his lips as she reached between them and wrapped a hand around his erection. She gave him a few good pumps then stepped back, letting her nails graze lightly along his length. “Get in bed and let me finish undressing.” Steve pushed the covers back and laid down, stroking himself lazily as he watched Nicole finish undressing. Then she took her long, red hair down and shook it out over her shoulders as she crawled onto the bed with him. She laid her body over his and he cupped her ass as their lips met and they kissed hungrily.  “Will you do something for me, Nic,” Steve asked between kisses, and she nodded. “Suck it for me, baby.” That was something Nicole wasn’t really fond of doing, though every once in a while, Steve was able to convince her. “Please, Nic,” he panted. “I need it tonight.” “Anything for you, Steve,” she panted back then started kissing her way down his body. She took her time, touching, kissing, and licking every inch of him from his jaw, down his neck, across his shoulders and chest, his stomach, his hip, until finally she took his throbbing, dripping erection into her mouth. She sucked him deep and hard, just the way she knew he liked it. Steve closed his eyes, tangled his fingers into her hair, and raised his hips to meet her mouth. She worked him with her lips and tongue, stroking his shaft and massaging his testicles with her hands. And several minutes later, when he started to come and fill her mouth, she swallowed around him, not letting a drop spill. Steve moaned her name over and over trying to drown out the one thought that was stuck in his head. Eddie.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Steve stood on the steps of the East Washington branch of the Indianapolis Public Library, leaning casually against the handrail, smoking a cigarette. It was just before noon and Robin would be coming out to go to lunch at any moment. He noticed her bicycle chained to the bike rack behind him when he arrived, so he knew she was here and hoped there wasn’t something going on that would cause her to have to skip her lunch hour. He really wanted to see her; it had been way too long. Even if he didn’t need someone to talk him out of pining over Eddie, he still missed his best friend. He hated that they didn’t live in the same town anymore. Just as he dropped his cigarette to the ground and stomped it out under his shoe, the front door of the library opened, and Robin came out. Her nose was in a book, and she walked right past him without even seeing him. He had to hold back a laugh at that. It wasn’t surprising that she was reading; she was always reading. He watched her go down the steps and over to the bike rack without ever looking up. He wouldn’t put it past her to try and read while riding her bike if she thought she could manage it.  So, he followed her and stopped a few feet away, out of arm’s reach in case he startled her, and she swung at him. He’d been on the receiving end of one of her punches before. For someone as small as she was, she could throw a damned good punch. Steve dipped his head to see what she was reading and was in no way surprised to see that it was The Wind in The Willows . That had been her favorite book since she was a small child and she read it over and over. Steve couldn’t understand how you could read the same book that many times. Once you knew what was going to happen, didn’t it lose its appeal? “We animals never allow our friends to make fools of themselves beyond a certain limit.”  It was a line from The Wind in The Willows that Robin had quoted to him a million times when he’d say or do something that made him look like a fool; which was more often than he liked to admit. But Robin didn’t even look up from her book; she just kept reading, as if Steve hadn’t spoken. Steve opened his mouth to speak but Robin held up one finger, her eyes moving over the page in front of her. She held the finger up in front of Steve’s face and he waited. Finally, with a satisfied sigh and a half smile, Robin closed the book, lowered her hand, and brought her eyes up to meet Steve’s. “'Beyond the Wild Wood comes the wild world,’ said the Rat. ‘And that's something that doesn't matter, either to you or to me. I've never been there, and I'm never going, nor you either, if you've got any sense at all.’” “I know, I know,” Steve laughed. “I hate coming to Indy, but for you, I’ll venture beyond the Wild Wood.” “It’s about time.” Robin jumped into Steve’s outstretched arms and hugged him tightly. “I was beginning to think I’d have to move back to Hawkins if I ever wanted to see you again.” “Hawkins has a library, you know.” With one last squeeze, he planted Robin back on the ground. “You could work there just as easily as you work here.” “Hawkins has a librarian,” Robin told him. “Marissa will be there until the day she dies. And I do not want to die in a dusty old library that has the same books it had at the dawn of time.” She made a grand, sweeping gesture to the library. “We get new books every week. And do you know what new books mean?” “No,” Steve laughed. “What do new books mean?” “New books mean new knowledge.” She threw her arms out to the side and turned in a circle. “New books mean new adventures.” She stopped and gave Steve a deadly serious look. “Besides, not only do I get paid twice what the Hawkins Public Library pays, but I don’t have to see my mother every day and listen to her nagging me about how I’m throwing my life away on this ‘queer’ phase I’m going through, and I need to settle down and get married and have babies.” She rolled her eyes and Steve laughed. “Your mom and my mom should get together.” “Mother Harrington still begging for grandchildren?” Steve nodded. “My mom still thinks I should be dating you.” “Hey! I tried, remember?” Robin just giggled at that. “You turned me down flat.” “Because we’re queer.” She poked him in the chest. “No matter how many girls you date or marry.” Steve threw his arm over her shoulders and pulled her closer against his side. “So, what are you doing in Indianapolis on a beautiful Friday morning? Shouldn’t you be at school?” “Yesterday was the last day of school,” Steve told her. “So, I came to take my best friend to lunch.” He looked around them. “What’s good to eat close by?” “Dominos that way,” Robin said, pointing towards the east. “Rally’s, Popeye’s, White Castle, Wendy’s, Long John Silver’s, and Taco Bell that way.” She pointed towards the west. “Take your pick.” “Fast food? That’s it?” Robin just nodded. This was why she always brought a lunch and just rode her bike to the park and read while she ate her lunch. “I know you don’t eat fast food,” Steve said. “Unless there’s a vegetarian menu at Taco Bell that I’m unaware of.” “There’s a park around the corner,” Robin said. “I usually just go there and eat.” She patted the cross body satchel that was slung over her shoulder. “I’ll share my salad and grapes with you.” “Sounds good to me,” Steve said. Steve took her satchel and her book and carried them as they walked the two blocks to the park. Once there, they sat down at one of the picnic tables underneath the wooden canopy. Steve handed Robin her satchel and she took out a salad and a plastic zipper bag of grapes and berries. She handed the bag to Steve and opened her salad. After taking a bite, she looked up at him and gave him a questioning look. “So, what’s bugging you?” Steve shook his head. “You’re lying,” Robin said. “You didn’t drive all the way to Indianapolis on your first day off work just to sit in a community garden and eat berries with me. Speaking of, give me one of those strawberries.” “Do I have to have an excuse to visit you,” Steve asked as he held the bag out and Robin took a strawberry and a couple of blueberries. Robin didn’t answer as she used a plastic knife to slice the strawberry and add it to her salad, along with the blueberries, but she did give Steve that look that she always gave him when he was being ridiculous. “Okay, fine. There is something bugging me, and I need your sage wisdom to talk me out of doing something stupid.” “Perfect,” Robin laughed. “My greatest pleasure in life is shooting you down.” She took another bite of her salad. “So, what’s up?” “Guess who sent me a check for ten grand.” She froze, her eyes round with surprise. “Mailed it to my parents’ house with no return address.” “Someone gave you ten thousand dollars?” “Yeah,” Steve laughed. “Take a wild guess who it was.” “Dustin?” “Why would Dustin send anything to my parents’ house,” Steve asked, and Robin shrugged. “But he was a friend of Dustin’s back in high school.”“Did Dustin have any friends except you and Mike and Lucas?” Steve just nodded. “Will?” “Nope. Try again.” “The only other person I remember Dustin hanging out with was . . .” Robin froze again and looked Steve right in the eye. He nodded slowly. “Eddie Munson?” Steve nodded again. “No wonder you’re here,” she sighed. “I have to say though, I’m impressed by how well you’re holding it together.” “You should have seen me last night,” Steve laughed. “I was a crying, sobbing mess in Nic’s arms.” “Did you explain it to her?” “I told her the truth,” Steve said. “That I love him.” “Ouch.” Steve looked down at the bag of fruit in front of him, then absently popped a grape into his mouth. “How did she take that?” “Like she takes everything,” Steve answered. “Like a trooper. I mean, she was annoyed, but who wouldn’t be when they find out their fiancé is in love with someone else.” “Wait, you said he sent you a check?” Steve nodded. “For ten thousand dollars?” Another nod. “Where did Eddie get ten thousand dollars? And, better question, why would he give it to you after all these years?” “That’s exactly what I want to know,” Steve said. “And exactly why I’m here.”  Robin took a bite of her salad and chewed thoughtfully. “And what exactly are you thinking about doing that you need me to talk you out of?” “Going to California to find Eddie.” “Dear, sweet, simple Steve,” Robin chuckled. “Only you would think of running off to California to find the boy you fell in love with in high school after he broke your heart and disappeared for ten years.” “Tell me all the reasons it would be a bad idea,” Steve said softly. “Tell me it would crush Nicole and probably ruin our relationship. Tell me I’m getting married in six months and I should stay home and forget about Eddie Munson. Tell me I should focus on my life in Hawkins and not stupid dreams of seeing Eddie again and him jumping into my arms and kissing me and telling me he loves me and regrets running away.” Steve reached up and wiped a tear off his cheek. “Tell me I’m an idiot for wanting him so fucking badly.” “It sounds like you have all the answers you need,” Robin said. “What do you need me for?” “I need you to be my voice of reason,” Steve answered. “Even though I know how stupid it is, if I hadn’t gotten in my car and come here this morning, I would have ended up on a plane to California instead.” “So go.” Steve raised his eyes to meet Robin’s. “I’m serious. Go find Eddie.” “Reverse psychology?” “Not at all,” Robin laughed. “I’m serious.”  “I’m confused,” Steve told her as he ate a blueberry then zipped the bag closed and gave it back to her. He really wasn’t hungry. He still hadn’t gotten his appetite back after opening that envelope. “You’re not making any sense.” “You’re not here so I can convince you not to go looking for Eddie,” Robin said. “You’re here so I’ll tell you it’s okay for you to go. So, I’m telling you. Go.” Steve didn’t answer, he just stared at her dumbfounded. “You’ll never get this out of your head if you don’t do something about it. You love him too much. I know you love Nicole too, but you love Eddie more. I know you. I know you do. And if you don’t try to find him, this is going to eat at you and make you miserable and in the end, you’ll lose Nicole over it.” “When did you get so smart?” “I’ve always been smart,” she laughed. “You’re just too much of a dingus to notice sometimes.” “What do I tell Nic?” “The truth,” Robin told him, as if it was the simplest answer in the world. “Don’t lie to her, Steve.” “I’m supposed to tell my fiancé that I need to take off and try to find the man I’m in love with?” “Tell her that you need to do this for your own sanity,” Robin explained to him. “Tell her that you love her and no matter what happens, you’ll come home to her.” “But I can’t guarantee that I will come home to her,” Steve said sadly. “Do you honestly think Eddie is going to be sitting there waiting for you, unattached, available, and willing to jump back into a relationship with you that he walked out on?” Steve looked away again. There was the Robin he’d come to see; the one who would put him in his place and force him to face reality. “Steve, I think you should go find him because I think what you’re envisioning in your head is the furthest thing from what will actually happen. And then you’ll realize that you’re wasting your time, and you’ll come back to Nicole and realize what a wonderful thing you have with her. Then you’ll get married, have kids, and you’ll live happily ever after.” Steve opened his mouth to respond, but Robin kept going. “Instead of spending the rest of your life with your head in the clouds, fantasizing about a future you’ll never have with a boy who doesn’t love you, and never has.” “You really know how to hurt a guy, don’t you?” Robin just shrugged. “Thank you.” “I love you, dingus,” Robin said. “It’s my job to make sure you’re happy.” They talked for a while longer as Robin ate her lunch. She told him about everything going on in her life, which wasn’t much. Always the same old thing, the library and books. Though Steve did not fail to notice the way Robin’s eyes lit up when she talked about the new lady they’d hired two weeks ago. There was something there, but Robin didn’t like talking about her love life and Steve knew it. So, he said nothing about it. She would eventually tell him if it turned into something serious. He’d just have to wait until then. When she was done eating, they walked back to the library together and said goodbye. Steve thanked her again for her advice, and when she was back inside the library, Steve got in his car and drove back to Hawkins. The first thing he did when he got home was call the travel agent that he and Nicole had been talking to about their vacation and honeymoon plans. She was excited to hear from Steve, thinking he was ready to book that trip to Paris. But when he told her that he only wanted to go to Tracy, California, and that he wanted to go alone, she seemed less excited. But she helped him anyway.  She gave him a choice of flying to San Francisco or San Jose since Tracy didn’t have an airport. That bit of news made him smile. If Tracy was a small enough town that it didn’t have an airport, maybe it would be easier to find Eddie. So, he chose San Jose, and she booked a round trip flight, with an open ended return flight so he could stay as long as he wanted, and a rental car for him once he got there. When everything was set, she told him his plane ticket would arrive that evening via courier then he thanked her for her help and hung up. Next, he called Dustin. Dustin was attending college in West Lafayette, studying at the Purdue University Weldon School of Biomedical Engineering. Steve knew that he attended a lecture series on Friday afternoons, so he could just leave a message on his answering machine and not have to be grilled by him when he told him what he was doing. He left a lengthy message, explaining about the note and the check, going to see Robin, and letting him know that he was going to California, and he would call when he got back. That wasn’t going to stop Dustin from blowing up Steve’s cell phone when he got the message, but at least he would already know what was going on by that time. Finally, Steve went to make dinner. He still had no appetite, but he knew he needed to eat, and Nicole would be expecting dinner. Though when he told her what he was doing, she might just lose her appetite as well. So, he roasted some chicken breasts with root vegetables in the oven and chopped up a salad to go with it. He was just opening a bottle of white wine when Nicole came in and called out that she was home. Steve poured the wine, set the table, and waited for Nicole to change out of her work clothes and join him at the table. “How was your day,” Steve asked after kissing Nicole softly. He pulled out her chair and she sat down. “You look happy. What’s the big smile for?” “We just received the new grant from the DOE,” she said. “We can start on that new research I was telling you about a couple of months ago.” “That’s fantastic,” Steve said as he sat down across from her. “I know you’ve been looking forward to this.” “It’s huge.” She took a drink of wine. “This grant should keep us funded for the next eighteen months, so Monday I’m going to have to start drafting my request for the next grant,” she laughed. “The last one took you almost that long, didn’t it?” She nodded. “You’ll get it. I know you will.” “I sure hope so,” she answered. “So, how’s Robin?” “She’s good,” Steve answered. “I think she’s seeing someone, but she didn’t actually say it.” “Of course, she didn’t,” Nicole laughed. “She doesn’t want to jinx it.” Steve nodded. That was exactly how Robin thought sometimes. “Did you tell her about Eddie?” Steve nodded again and dropped his eyes to his plate as he ate, bracing himself for what he was going to tell her. “What did she have to say about it? Does she think you should cash the check?” “We didn’t really discuss that,” he said. “But she did agree with me about what I should do.” “Oh? What should you do,” she asked. “I didn’t know there was another question other than whether or not to take the money.” “I’m going to give it back,” Steve said softly.  “How do you plan to do that,” she asked with a laugh. “He didn’t give you a return address.” “No, but there was a PO Box listed on the check.” He laid his fork down and brought his eyes up to meet hers. “But that’s not what I meant. I’m going to California to find him.” Nicole laid her fork down and stared speechless at Steve. “I love you, Nic. You have to know that. But this is something I have to do. It will eat away at me if I don’t. I just need to see him, make sure he’s . . . I don’t know. I just need to do this. Then I’ll come back home and forget all about him.” “No.” Nicole picked up her fork again and took a bite of food. “No?” “You’re not going,” she said. “I won’t allow it.” “You won’t allow it?” Nicole didn’t answer, just gave him an insolent look. “Babe, you really don’t have a say in the matter. Besides, it’s a done deal. I already booked a flight. I leave tomorrow.” “You booked a flight without even talking to me about it?” “I’m talking to you about it now.” “No, you’re not,” she said angrily. “You’re telling me that you’re going to fly across the country in search of some guy you had a two week fling with ten years ago. You’re not talking to me about anything. You’re doing whatever you want to do, my feelings be damned.” “He’s not some guy,” Steve shot back, just as angrily. “And it wasn’t a fling.” “Why are you doing this, Steve?” “I have to,” he replied, the anger gone from his voice. “I love him, and I need to find him.” “Tell me something.” Steve nodded slowly. “Say you find him and he’s as in love with you as you are with him. What then?” Steve shrugged. He hadn’t thought about that yet. He didn’t want to think about how Eddie would react. He knew how he felt and that was all he could think about. “Do I get a phone call from California telling me to cancel the wedding and move out of your house?” “No, Nic,” Steve said. “That’s not going to happen.” “Bullshit, Steve!” He shrank back at the umbrage in her voice. “You’re flat out telling me that you want to pursue someone that you love, obviously more than you love me, if you’re willing to risk losing me over him.” “Risk losing you?” “Are you really that stupid?” Steve pushed his chair back and stood up. He glared down at her, and she folded her arms across her chest defiantly. “You think you can unload all of this on me then run off looking for the love of your life and I’m just going to sit here and wait for you?” “Do not ever call me stupid again,” Steve said quietly, yet there was no mistaking the irritation in his words. “Then stop acting stupid.” She stood up as well. “You’re being stupid. This whole idea is stupid. And if you think I’m going to allow it, then you’re stupid too.”  Nicole turned and stormed out of the room. He heard the bedroom door slam shut just as his cellphone started to ring. That would be Dustin, Steve knew it; he could tell by the annoying way the phone rang. It never sounded that annoying when it was anyone else. But he didn’t answer it. Right now, he needed to fix this with Nicole. He hated it when she called him stupid. It never failed, any time they argued, that word came out. He realized he wasn’t as smart as she was, but she didn’t have to call him that every time she got mad at him. And besides, he didn’t want to lose her. He loved her. He really did. So, he went after her. He knocked lightly on the bedroom door and when he got no answer, he tried the knob. She hadn’t locked it; that was a good sign. He went in and he could hear the shower running. He went into the bathroom just as she stepped into the shower and slid the glass door shut. He watched her for a moment, and when he realized she was crying, he suddenly felt like the biggest asshole in the world. Because he knew he was. Nicole was right. What he was planning on doing was stupid. And he really was stupid for asking her to let him do this. No, he hadn’t even had the courtesy to ask. He just told her he was going to do it, that she had no say so in the matter. He could just imagine the looks Robin and Dustin would give him if they were here. None of that meant that he was going to change his mind, but he needed to smooth things over with Nicole before he left in the morning. Steve undressed and went to the shower. When he slid the glass door open, Nicole jerked around and looked up at him with red, swollen eyes. He hesitated and didn’t get in with her until she held a hand out to him. He put his hand in hers, stepped into the shower, then slid the door closed as he pulled her into his arms. They stood there, holding each other under the stream of hot water, while Nicole cried. After several minutes, when her sobbing had stopped, Steve kissed the top of her head softly. “I’m sorry,” she whispered against his chest. “I didn’t mean the things I said.” “I know, baby,” Steve replied. “And I’m sorry I didn’t discuss this with you first.” “I knew you were going to do this,” she said. “I knew that’s why you wanted to go see Robin. You wanted her to tell you this was all okay.” Steve didn’t answer. “I can’t stop you from going. You’d only end up resenting me if I tried. At least this way, if you go, I still stand a chance that you’ll come back to me. If I try to stand in your way, I’ll lose you for sure.” “You’re not going to lose me, Nic. I prom . . .” She reached up and touched her fingers to his lips to stop him. “Don’t promise me,” she said. “Don’t make promises you’re not a hundred percent sure you can keep.” Steve said nothing because he knew he couldn’t make that promise with a hundred percent certainty. “That’s what I thought.” “I love you, Nicole.” “I know, Steve.” She reached up and locked her arms behind his neck. “Make love to me.” “Are you sure?”  She nodded so Steve wrapped one arm around her as he backed her into the cool, tile wall of the shower. She lifted one leg and wrapped it around his waist as he reached between them and pumped his dick in his fist to get it hard. He then slid a hand between her legs and slipped his fingers inside her. She sighed against his lips as his fingers stroked in and out, then up to circle her clit. When he had her panting and whimpering, he took his dick in his hand and pushed inside her. She gasped and he rested his forehead on her shoulder. “No,” she whispered. “Open your eyes and look at me.” Steve raised his head and gazed into her eyes. “Think about me. Not him. Not like last night.” “I wasn’t . . .” “Don’t lie to me, baby.” Steve nodded once. “Okay. Just look at me.” Steve rocked his hips, sliding in and out of her. “Make love to me .” “I love you, Nicole.” “I know, baby,” she moaned. “I know.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

By the time Steve boarded his flight to San Jose, Dustin had called him seven times. Steve didn’t even bother to listen to the voicemails he left. He loved Dustin with all his heart, but he didn’t want to be talked out of what he was doing. Robin had been correct. He hadn’t gone to her so she could tell him not to look for Eddie; he had gone so she would encourage him to go. Dustin was a completely different story though. Dustin had been just as hurt as Steve when Eddie disappeared. He’d felt betrayed and abandoned, and he absolutely hated Eddie Munson.

Unfortunately, for the seven-and-a-half-hour flight, Steve had nothing to do but think about Eddie. By the time his plane landed in California, Steve was exhausted. He spent the entire flight fighting his emotions as they ran the gamut from excited anticipation to sheer hatred and everything in between. He thought a lot about the things Robin had said to him, about Eddie having never loved him. He hated to admit it, but it was probably true. Eddie had never said he loved him. And he’d run off with just a stupid little note stuck to the refrigerator. What if Steve hadn’t gone to the trailer? What if he hadn’t gone inside? He would never have gotten Eddie’s note.

Why couldn’t he have just said goodbye face to face? Steve wouldn’t have blamed him for wanting to get away from Hawkins. Like he’d said, there was nothing there for him except painful memories. But there was something in Hawkins for Eddie. There was Steve. If Eddie had just given him a chance, he could have told him he loved him. Then maybe he would have stayed, even if it was only long enough for them to make plans to go away together. Because Steve would have gone. For Eddie.

When his plane landed, the first thing he did was find a shop in the airport that sold maps. He bought a road atlas of Northern California and another specifically of Tracy. It wasn’t a big town, that was good to know. He could only imagine how hard it would be to find Eddie if he’d chosen somewhere like nearby San Francisco. Or even San Jose for that matter. But in Tracy, it should be easier. Though he really had no idea where to even start looking. He supposed he could stake out the post office for a few days. But how many post offices were there in Tracy?

He sighed heavily as he paid for the maps. He would figure something out. He had to. This couldn’t be a wasted trip. If he didn’t find Eddie, he would never have the closure that he so desperately, albeit irrationally, needed. As he was turning away from the register, a small book display next to the counter caught his attention and he smiled broadly. They were Dungeons and Dragons books. He remembered listening to Eddie talk about the game during those late night hours they spent together after Wayne went to sleep. He also remembered Dustin telling him the same things, the same stories from the game. But he’d never really been interested when Dustin talked about D&D. Though he loved to listen to Eddie.

Steve picked up one of the books and flipped through it. He stopped on a page with a drawing that looked familiar. He stared at it for a moment, trying to place where he’d seen the dragon before. The wyvern. Why did he know that word? He read the text on the facing page. It was a battle scene and the wyvern, and a king were fighting a common enemy in a place called The Upside Down. Something about all of that seemed so familiar, but he couldn’t place it. It was probably something Eddie or Dustin had told him about. Steve froze for a moment. He flipped the book closed and searched for the name of the author. There was no name anywhere that he could see. The only thing on the cover other than the name of the book and a castle with demon bats flying around it were the words

The Banished

at the very bottom. Steve turned back to the register and laid the book on the counter as he fished his wallet out of his pocket.

“You don’t look like the type to read fantasy novels,” the man told him. “You look like my high school guidance counselor.”

“I’m actually a middle school guidance counselor,” Steve answered with a soft chuckle. “And I usually prefer spy novels, but this looks interesting.” He handed the man the money for the book.

“You know, that’s number two in the series,” the man told him. “Just came out. Have you read the first one?”

“Uh, no,” Steve answered, looking around for another book. “Do you have it?”

“I think I have a couple of copies in the back room if you want to wait just a second.” Steve nodded and the man disappeared behind a wall. He was back a minute later holding another book that he handed to Steve. It didn’t have an author’s name on it either, just

The Banished

. “Those are really popular,” he said. “I sell a lot of them. Never read them myself though.”

Steve paid for the second book then made his way to the car rental counter to pick up his car. As he drove to Tracy and the hotel where he would be staying, he kept glancing over at the books on the passenger seat. Could it really be? Did Eddie write those books? It was all too familiar to Steve and there was no way he could know these things if he hadn’t heard them from Eddie. He never paid that much attention when Dustin rambled on about the game.

After driving for more than an hour from San Jose, Steve found his hotel in Tracy, checked in as quickly as he could, then went up to his room. He needed to talk to Dustin. So, he listened to the voicemails Dustin had left him first. He was right. Dustin was angry and accused Steve of having lost his damned mind. He demanded that Steve forget all this nonsense and go back home. But it was too late now. Not that Steve would have done it anyway. He was on a mission, and he wasn’t going to give up without a fight. After the last voicemail, he took a deep breath and held it to steady himself as he dialed Dustin’s number. He answered on the first ring.

“Are you mental? Your fiancé is sitting at home, crying her eyes out, and you’re in California looking for some asshole that you think you’re in love with? Do you know how ignorant that sounds? My God, Steve. You’ve done a lot of knuckle headed, lame brained, moronic shit in your life, but this just fucking takes the cake!”

“Oh, my flight was great,” Steve said sarcastically. “Thanks for asking. And yes, California is lovely this time of year.” Dustin said nothing. “I take it you’re upset.”

“You’re damned right I’m upset,” Dustin shouted. “It’s ten o’clock here and I’m tired and I should be at a party I was invited to but instead I’ve spent most of the evening talking to Nicole and trying to convince her that you’re just suffering a moment of temporary insanity and you’ll eventually figure out how stupid you’re being and go back home to her.”

“Don’t call me stupid,” Steve grunted.

“I’m sorry,” Dustin sighed, his voice softening. “I’m sorry, Steve. But come on. What’re you doing?”

“I have to do this, Dustin.”

“I know, I know.” He sighed again. “I don’t get it. But I know.”

“Hey, I think I may have a lead on finding him.” He could picture Dustin rolling his eyes. “Can I ask you about Dungeons and Dragons?”

“You think he’s playing Dungeons and Dragons?”

“No, you little shithead,” Steve laughed. “But listen. I saw these books at the airport. D&D novels. Some of the artwork looked really familiar. And the place where it takes place. There was a wyvern. And The Upside Down. And demon bats.” It was silent on the other end of the phone. “Dustin?”

“Eddie had a tattoo of a wyvern,” Dustin said. “On the back of his right bicep.” Steve closed his eyes and tried to picture Eddie without a shirt on. He remembered the tattoo. He flipped to the drawing in the book and stared at it. That’s why it looked so familiar. The drawing in the book was a drawing of the tattoo on Eddie’s arm. “And did you say The Upside Down and demon bats?”

“Yeah,” Steve answered. “There’s a king and he’s fighting side by side with the wyvern.”

“A king? As in King Steve?” Steve flipped through the first book, looking for a description of the king. As he read it, he recognized himself, from the hair and eyes right down to the dark brown beauty marks that littered his body. “Who wrote it, Steve?”

“There’s no author listed,” he said.

“Look at the cover,” Dustin said, sounding like he was talking to a wayward child. “What’s on the cover?”

“A castle with demon bats . . .”

“Demobats?”

“Yeah, sure, okay,” Steve answered. “Demobats. I think I saw that word in the book.” He flipped back to the battle scene in the second book. There it was. Demobats. They were attacking the king and he was fighting them off with a spiked club.

“Steve,” Dustin said, sounding excited now. “The wyvern is Eddie. The king is you. Eddie created the Demobats for a campaign we played in D&D. We fought against them in The Upside Down. Also, Eddie’s creation. Who wrote the books, Steve?”

“There’s no author,” Steve told him again. “It just says The Banished.” Dustin squealed loudly and laughed. “Jeez, kid, bust my eardrums why don’t you?”

“Steve, don’t you get it? Eddie’s name in D&D was Eddie the Banished!”

“You’re joking,” Steve laughed. “Seriously?”

“You found him,” Dustin almost shouted. “I can’t believe you found him. And he’s a writer? What are the books called? I have to find them and read them.”

“I bought them,” Steve answered. “I’ll bring them to you when I get home.”

“And speaking of that,” Dustin said, his tone changing back to one of irritation. “When are you coming home?”

“As soon as I see Eddie.” He heard Dustin sigh and again pictured him rolling his eyes. “Ten seconds ago, you were ecstatic that I found Eddie and that he’s written some D&D books. Now you’re going to pretend like you aren’t?”

“Momentary lapse,” Dustin said. “I still hate him and want you to give up and come home.”

“Well, that’s not going to happen.” Steve’s stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten today. “Look, I know it’s late there so I’m going to let you go.”

“Anything to get out of listening to me bitch, huh?”

“Yeah, there’s that,” Steve laughed. “But I’m hungry and tired and I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Okay, whatever.” There was a long pause before Dustin spoke again. “I hope you find him. Good night, Steve.”

“Good night, kid.”

**********

After ordering room service and eating dinner, Steve laid down to go to sleep. But he didn’t sleep. He just stared at the two books on the nightstand. The Banished. Eddie was writing D&D books under a pseudonym. It didn’t surprise him really. He was a great storyteller. Steve could absolutely picture him with kids, telling them the stories he wrote for his books. He wondered if there were more or if these were the only two? The first was published about four years ago. The second one had a publication date of just a month ago. That was probably where he got the money he sent to Steve. Royalties from the books. The man at the airport shop had said they were extremely popular.

Eventually, just before the sun came up, Steve gave up on trying to sleep. He got up, took a shower, then ordered some coffee and donuts from room service. When the hotel attendant arrived with his breakfast, Steve asked him about post offices. There were only two in Tracy and one of them was just a short ten minute drive from his hotel. So, he set off for the post office.

It was a nondescript government building. There was nothing special about it. The zip code on the building matched the one on the check Eddie sent. That was a good sign. But Steve needed to be sure. He went inside and looked around. The post office was closed. It was Sunday. Of course, he knew that, but in his excitement, it hadn’t even occurred to him that they would be closed. He sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging. At least he could look around and see if there was a PO Box 4569 amongst all the boxes. It took less than five minutes for him to find it, near the back, at just about chest level. He ran his fingers over the numbers on the box. Had Eddie been here? Was this his box? Steve laid his hand flat against the box and closed his eyes, a faint smile playing across his lips.

“Excuse me, sir.” Steve opened his eyes and turned towards the end of the row of boxes. A woman in a postal uniform was looking at him like he had sprouted horns. Of course, she was. He was fondling a post office box. He could only imagine what she must be thinking of him. “Can I help you?”

“Uh, yeah,” Steve said as he held up the envelope Eddie had sent. “Maybe you can. Can you tell me if this letter was mailed from this post office?” He approached her, holding the envelope out in front of him.

“All post marks look the same,” she said, not even glancing at the envelope. She was still eying Steve suspiciously.

“Right, yeah, okay.” Steve pulled one corner of the check out of the envelope, the top left corner where Eddie’s name and the address were. “Is this the address of this post office?”

She glanced at the check then back up at Steve. “It is.” She stole another glance at the check. “Why?”

“No reason,” Steve said. “Thank you for your help.”

Steve pushed the check back into the envelope, folded it, and slipped it into his back pocket as he offered the woman a smile then edged past her and out of the post office before she could ask any more questions. At least he had the correct post office. That was a good start. He got back into his rental car and sat there, staring at the building, willing Eddie to appear out of nowhere. But he didn’t. Steve sat there for hours watching people coming and going. But none of them were Eddie.

After a few hours, Steve left just long enough to go around the block to a sandwich shop where he used the restroom and got himself something to eat. Then he went back to the post office. He’d only been gone ten minutes, though he knew that was plenty long enough for Eddie to have come and gone. He just hoped he hadn’t missed him. If he did, Steve would come back tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that if he had to. Eventually, he’d see Eddie. He had to believe that.

When it got dark and Steve was barely able to keep his eyes open, he finally gave up and went back to his hotel. He collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He slept through the night and woke up early the next morning, before the sun was even up. And he went back to the post office. And he sat there all day. And again, there was no Eddie. Nor did he see Eddie on Tuesday. Steve was getting frustrated and angry. Eddie had to check his mail sometime, didn’t he?

Wednesday morning, Steve arrived at the post office again. He sat and drank coffee and watched hundreds of people come and go. Around noon he went back to the sandwich shop, got himself some lunch, then sat in the post office parking lot some more. Somewhere around six o’clock, as he was shifting in his seat uncomfortably, because his ass had gone numb, someone walking across the parking lot caught his attention.

He had his back to Steve so he couldn’t see his face, but there was something about the way he walked that seemed familiar. He was thin and wore black jeans and a black hoodie with the hood pulled up over his head. Steve sat up straighter and watched closely. As he got closer to the building, he reached up and pushed the hood off his head and a mass of unruly brown curls bounced down over his shoulders. Steve’s breath caught in his throat and his heart skipped a beat. He leaned forward, trying to get a better look, silently willing him to turn so that Steve could see his face.

At the door, he pulled it open and stepped back and to the side as he held it for an elderly lady that was coming out. Steve could see his profile as he smiled at her. He knew that face. There was no mistaking that dimple in his cheek. It was Eddie. Steve started to get out of the car and follow Eddie inside, but then he stopped. He couldn’t confront Eddie in public like this. There was no telling how Eddie was going to react. And Steve couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t break down into tears. No, he couldn’t do this here. He’d wait, follow Eddie, see where he went after this.

So, he started his car and pulled to the curb and waited. A few minutes later, Eddie came back out. Steve watched him walk across the parking lot and he had to hold back a laugh when Eddie stopped next to a motorcycle. He opened one of the saddlebags and dropped the mail he was carrying into it, then got on the bike and it roared to life. Eddie pulled the hood back up over his head and pulled out of the parking lot. And Steve followed him.

They drove for about fifteen minutes with Steve staying a little ways back so Eddie wouldn’t see him. He wasn’t afraid of losing him though because there were no other motorcycles on the road that Steve could see. Eventually they turned onto a palm tree lined street into a neighborhood. Steve followed Eddie, staying further back now because there were no other cars on the road in the neighborhood. Eventually, Eddie turned into a driveway.

Steve glanced around. There was nowhere for him to go. Across from the house was a large, empty field. It looked to be a new subdivision; all the houses looked freshly built. There was nowhere for Steve to hide, so he swallowed hard, said a silent prayer that this wouldn’t end up being a disastrous meeting, and he turned into the large double driveway next to Eddie as he climbed off his bike.

Eddie gave the car a curious look as he pushed the hood back off his head and let his hair loose again. Steve’s windows were tinted so Eddie couldn’t see in. He stood there, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, and waited for whoever was in the car to get out. Steve took several more deep breaths then finally opened the door and stepped out. His back was to Eddie, and he knew Eddie wouldn’t recognize him. His hair was as long as Eddie’s was. It had never been that long when they knew each other.

When Steve turned around, he saw a momentary look of panic flash in Eddie’s eyes. But he quickly replaced it with one of disinterest, though Steve saw that his shoulders and arms had tensed. For several long moments they just stared at each other, neither of them saying a word. Steve couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t sound completely idiotic. And besides, he wanted Eddie to speak first, so he could gauge his reaction to Steve showing up out of nowhere.

“What do you want,” Eddie asked quietly.

“I wanted to give this back,” Steve said, holding up the check.

“You could have mailed it.”

“Then I couldn’t see you face to face.” Steve closed the car door and came around to stand in front of Eddie on the other side. “Take it. I don’t need it. I told you that you didn’t have to pay me back for anything.” Eddie took the check out of his hand and put it into his pocket. “How are you?” Eddie just shrugged. “Do you live here?”

“Yeah.” Eddie glanced back at the house. “Bought it last year while they were building this neighborhood. Just moved in about six months ago.”

“It’s nice.” Eddie nodded. “You live alone?” Another nod and Steve sighed. Eddie wasn’t making this easy on him. “Can we talk, Eddie? Please?”

Eddie turned and walked away. When he got to the front door and had it open, he glanced back at Steve. “Coming?”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Inside the house, Eddie took off his hoodie and hung it on a coat rack in the entryway. Underneath it, he was wearing a sleeveless Motorhead shirt. Some things never changed. Steve looked around as Eddie led him through the entryway, into a very large and spacious room that served as a den, a dining room, and a kitchen. It ran from one end of the house to the other and the back wall was all windows and a sliding glass door looking out into a baren backyard. The house was much larger on the inside than the outside gave away.

In the kitchen, Eddie took two beers out of the refrigerator, sat one on the center island and pushed it towards Steve, then popped the other one open and leaned back against the counter, sipping his own beer, his other hand shoved deep in the pocket of his jeans. Steve picked up the other beer, removed the cap and took a long drink. He and Eddie locked eyes and neither of them flinched, so they just stared at each other for a full minute.

Steve was awestruck. Eddie was just as beautiful as he remembered him. He had a lot more tattoos now, both arms were covered in full sleeves. His right arm was all done in shades of black and gray, and his left arm was a cacophony of color. His arms and chest were also more muscled; he was still thin and sinewy, but much more chiseled and well defined. Steve broke eye contact first as he let his eyes move over Eddie, taking in every detail of him, trying to commit it to memory in case he never saw him again after this. When his eyes got back to Eddie’s face, Eddie finally spoke.

“How’d you find me?”

“I’ve been staking out the post office since Sunday,” Steve said. “I figured you’d go check your mail eventually.” He looked around the bright spacious house. “Why don’t you have your mail delivered to your house?”

“I do,” Eddie answered. “Bills, personal shit. The post office box is for business mail. Royalties, fan mail.” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

“Fan mail, huh?” Eddie nodded. “I bought your books at the airport,” Steve said. “I’m about halfway through the first one.”

“What do you think?”

“I think there’s something kinky going on between the king and the wyvern,” he laughed and Eddie smiled.

“They eventually fall in love,” Eddie said. “In the second book it’s revealed that the Wyvern has a human form.”

“Are you the wyvern?” Eddie just looked at him, the smile disappearing from his face. “I already know I’m the king.”

“Caught that, did you?”

“You described me with frightening accuracy,” Steve said. “How did you remember all those details all these years later?”

“I started writing that when we were in high school,” Eddie explained. “It was easy to describe you when I got to see you every day.”

“You never mentioned that you were interested in writing,” Steve said.

“It was for a school assignment,” Eddie replied. “I never turned it in though. I was afraid Mr. Boushebel would recognize you.” Eddie took a long drink of his beer as he let his eyes move over Steve, the same way Steve had looked at him. “Why’d you come here, Steve?”

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

“You couldn’t just send a letter?”

“It needs to be said face to face.” Eddie waved a hand at him, motioning him to continue. “I should have said this ten years ago, but I never got the chance.”

“So, say it.”

“I love you, Eddie.”

“Fuck,” Eddie whispered as he turned away.

“If I had said it back then, would you have still left?”

“No.” Steve barely heard it; he said it so quietly. But then Eddie turned to face him, anger flashing in his eyes. “Why, Steve? Why did you come here and say that to me after ten fucking years?”

“I would have come sooner, but until a week ago, I didn’t know where you were.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Eddie’s voice cracked and his shoulders trembled. He was trying not to cry. “I mean, why did you feel like you needed to say that to me? How can you still feel that way after ten years?”

“Eddie, I never stopped loving you,” Steve said. “I tried, believe me. But I couldn’t do it. I loved you then, and I still love you now.” Eddie reached up and wiped away the tears that were welling up in his eyes and threatening to roll down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Eddie. I know you’ve probably moved on. I bet you’ve got a boyfriend who loves you and you don’t need me dumping my shit on you. But I needed to say it. I never got to say goodbye and I just needed this for my own peace of mind. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Eddie said as he crossed his arms over his chest and huddled in on himself.

“Shit,” Steve laughed. “Don’t tell me that. I might come over there and kiss you.” Eddie didn’t say anything, he just peeked at Steve from under lowered lashes. “Would you let me?” He shrugged and dropped his arms to his side so Steve sat his beer on the kitchen counter, went around the center island, and stopped in front of Eddie.

“I like your hair,” Eddie said softly. “I always thought you’d look good with long hair.”

“I noticed the king has long hair.” He reached for Eddie slowly, put a hand on his hip. Eddie leaned into his touch. “Does the king ever get a name or is he just

‘the king’

through the whole thing?”

“His name is Steve,” Eddie said as Steve took his beer bottle from him and sat it on the counter next to them. “But no, that’s never revealed in the books.”

Steve put his other hand on Eddie’s other hip and leaned into him, their bodies pressed together. He could feel Eddie’s pulse as it sped up, his heart hammering against his rib cage. He knew he shouldn’t do this. He was engaged to Nicole. Kissing Eddie was tantamount to cheating on her. But he couldn’t help it. He was drawn to Eddie, like a moth to a flame. He wanted to kiss him; he needed to kiss him. So, he dipped his head, pressed his lips to Eddie’s, and swept his tongue across Eddie’s mouth. Eddie opened his lips and let Steve in as he raised his arms and draped them over Steve’s shoulders. His hands found their way into his hair, twisted it around his fingers. It was silky smooth and slid through his hands easily. Steve took a step and backed Eddie into the counter. Eddie went up on his toes, pulled Steve closer, their tongues danced together until Eddie finally had to stop, to catch his breath. He couldn’t breathe and he felt giddy and drunk.

“You’re still the best kisser,” Steve whispered to him. “I think you’re better than you were ten years ago.”

“That’s not possible,” Eddie whispered back. “I haven’t kissed anyone in ten years.”

“What?” Steve stepped back but didn’t let go of Eddie, whose cheeks had turned an impossible shade of red. “You haven’t kissed anyone in ten years?” Eddie shook his head. “No one?”

“You were the last one,” Eddie said. He stepped out of Steve’s embrace and crossed his arms over his chest again, turned his back to Steve. “I haven’t been . . . I’m still . . .” He sighed and shook his head.

“You’re still what,” Steve asked. “A virgin?” Eddie nodded slowly. “Eddie?”

“I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone but you touching me,” Eddie told him. “I tried a couple of times. Met a few guys, tried to flirt with them.” He let out a quiet chuckle. “I suck at flirting, by the way.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true,” Eddie said. “Like I said, I tried. But when they tried to touch me, or lean in for a kiss, I just couldn’t do it. The thought of anyone other than you terrified me. I was so afraid they were going to hurt me.” He shrugged. “So, I gave up and stopped trying.” He turned back to face Steve. “What about you? You have a boyfriend?”

“I had a lot of girlfriends over the years,” Steve said. “But you were the last guy I was with.”

“So, you have a girlfriend?”

“A fiancé,” Steve answered. “We’re getting married in December.”

“Oh.” Eddie reached around Steve, picked up his beer and upended the bottle, draining it as he moved around the center island to be as far away from Steve as he could. He smiled, but it was more pained than sincere.

“Eddie, I’m sorry.”

“Shit,” he sighed. “What are you apologizing for? Congratulations.” Eddie glanced up at a clock on the wall. “I really need to . . .” He shrugged. “Maybe you should go.”

“You want me to leave?” Eddie nodded. “Alright.” Eddie followed him to the front door then reached into the pocket of his hoodie hanging on the coat rack and tried to give the check back to him. “I don’t want it, Eddie.”

“Goodbye, Steve.”

“Eddie, please, don’t do this,” Steve begged. “Let me stay.”

“I don’t want you to stay,” Eddie said, his eyes welling up again. “Please go away and don’t come back.” He raised his eyes to meet Steve’s as the tears started rolling down his cheeks. “Please.”

“Okay, Eddie.” Steve leaned in and kissed him again, but Eddie didn’t kiss back, he just stood there crying. “I love you,” he said softly. “I always will.”

He turned and left, got into his car and started driving. He went to his hotel, gathered his things, including Eddie’s books, then got back in the car and drove to San Jose. He used his return ticket to catch a red eye flight back to Indianapolis. He didn’t want to go but Eddie didn’t want him. Eddie asked him to leave and never come back. His heart was broken all over again. He couldn’t stay and try to force Eddie to . . . He didn’t know what he thought. He was engaged, he couldn’t cheat on Nicole. It wasn’t in him to do that.

He had no idea what he thought would happen when he found Eddie. But he hadn’t expected to find out that Eddie had never been with anyone else. And if the way they kissed was any indication, Eddie was happy to see him. Up until he said he was engaged. At that point, Eddie had pulled away. Maybe he broke Eddie’s heart too. Maybe Eddie had sent the check knowing that Steve would track him down. He could have sent a money order, or a cashier’s check, and there would have been no way for Steve to trace it. He wanted Steve to find him. And Steve had crushed him by telling him he was unavailable.

By the time Steve got home it was Thursday morning. He walked in the front door just as Nicole was gathering her purse and keys to go to work. He took her into his arms and kissed her, forcing himself not to break down and tell her what had happened. It didn’t matter. Eddie didn’t want him, and he was back home where he belonged. Why burden Nicole with any of it?

“Did you find him,” Nicole asked when Steve finally stopped kissing her. He just nodded. “And?”

“And I gave the check back and came home.”

“So, it’s over,” she asked. “I have nothing to worry about anymore?”

“You have nothing to worry about,” Steve told her. “Go to work. I’ll drop by the travel agency today and we’ll plan our trip to Paris this evening. How soon can you get a couple of weeks off?”

“Any time, babe,” she answered excitedly. “I thought you wanted to go to Hawaii.”

“You still want to go to Paris?” She nodded eagerly. “Then we’ll go to Paris.” He kissed her again. “Have a good day, baby.”

When Nicole was gone, Steve went to their bedroom, took The Hobbit out of the bookshelf, then took it to the kitchen and dropped it into the garbage. Then he took the garbage out and went to take a shower.

**********

Steve went to the post office and mailed the D&D books he brought back from California to Dustin. Then he stopped by the travel agency and picked up all the brochures and flyers and catalogs he could get his hands on about Paris. He tried not to think about Eddie, and he was doing a pretty good job of keeping himself distracted all the way up until a Metallica song came on the radio. That was when he lost it. He cried so hard that he had to pull over because he couldn’t see the road through his tears. He sat there for an hour, crying into his hands. This was even worse than when Eddie left ten years ago. At least back then he could still hold on to the hope that maybe one day he and Eddie would be together again. But now, that hope was gone.

Steve drove to his parents’ house and went inside. He never knocked and still had a key, so he just walked in. His mother was vacuuming the living room and started when she looked up and saw Steve, his eyes red and swollen, his face tear stained. She shut off the vacuum and rushed to him, pulling him into her arms. A fresh wave of tears started, and Steve buried his face against his mother’s shoulder as she led him to the couch and sat him down. She knew where Steve had gone; Nicole had told her what had happened. So, she knew that his tears had something to do with Eddie. But she said nothing, just let him cry. He would talk to her when he was ready. Right now, he needed to cry and let it all out. So, she just held him until his tears dried up and he pulled away from her.

“Does dad have any scotch around,” he asked. His mother stood up, went to the bar, and poured Steve a double, straight up. She handed the glass to him and sat beside him. “Thank you.”

“Is Eddie okay?”

“He’s perfect,” Steve answered. “He’s a writer, making a ton of money from writing fantasy novels.”

“But?” He looked over at his mother. “He’s doing well, yet you’re crying and drinking scotch, which I know you hate.”

“He asked me to leave and never come back.”

“Oh, Steve, sweetheart.” She laid her hands over his and gave it a squeeze. Steve drained the scotch in one large gulp, grimacing as it went down, then told her everything that had happened. He left nothing out, and when he was done, his mother just shook her head. “What did you expect, Steve? You kissed him then told him you were getting married? If he wanted to be with you, you stood there and broke his heart.”

“I don’t know what I wanted or expected, mom,” he said, fighting off another crying fit. “I didn’t want to hurt him, though I know I did. I just needed to see him. It was like I was drawn to him. I couldn’t stay away.”

“Like a moth to a flame?”

“Exactly,” Steve chuckled humorlessly. “And my wings got singed and I don’t think I’ll ever fly again.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I’m going to go home, take my fiancé to Paris, and forget that Eddie Munson ever existed.” He gave her a piteous look. “I have to, or I’ll go crazy, mom.”

“I think that’s best, sweetheart.” She hugged him tightly. “I love you, son. And I’m so sorry that whatever you were looking for didn’t work out for you.”

“Thanks, mom.”

So, Steve went home. He laid out the Paris brochures and made dinner so that when Nicole got home, they could look over them as they ate. To get them in the mood, Steve made a chicken dish from his French cookbook. The whole house smelled of wine and herbs and butter when Nicole got home. They ate dinner and spent a couple of hours planning their vacation to Paris. Nicole had been able to get two weeks off work at the beginning of August. Perfect. That’s when they would go. They’d get back just in time for Steve to go back to work when the new school year started.

After the plans were made, Steve stacked the brochures and their notes so he could go to the travel agency in the morning and book their trip. Then Steve took Nicole into the bedroom, and they undressed each other, climbed into bed, and Steve made love to her, forcing himself to focus on her and keep his mind away from people he shouldn’t think about. Eventually, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, and Steve had nightmares all night, mostly about Eddie.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Steve did everything he could to focus his attention on Nicole and their life together. In the evenings and on the weekends, it was easy. But during the week, when Nicole was at work, Steve had trouble keeping his mind off Eddie. If only school were in session, he would have something to keep him occupied. But he had planned to spend most of the summer doing absolutely nothing until it was time for their vacation. And absolutely nothing was the exact wrong thing to do if you were trying not to think. He tried reading but found that his mind would wander, and he’d just end up thinking about Eddie again. So, he left the house. He drove to Indianapolis to have lunch with Robin a couple of times. That was a lot of fun and he enjoyed every minute that he spent with her. What he didn’t enjoy was the long drive there and back. An hour and a half each way, alone with only his thoughts. It was worse than being home alone. Next, he tried going to his parents’ house. His mother appreciated the company, since she was home alone herself while his father was at work. But there was only so much Steve could take of his mother’s church friends coming over to visit and gossip and watch soap operas. He loved his mother, and her friends were all very sweet ladies, but listening to them was driving him insane. So, after the first week and a half, Steve gave up on that idea as well. Eventually, Steve gave up trying not to think about Eddie and he started thinking too much about him. He sat on the couch and replayed every word of their conversation, every look they exchanged, every movement of Eddie’s body, and every single micro-second of the kiss they’d shared. He realized how stupid the whole thing had been. He never should have gone to California. He never should have kissed Eddie. And he most definitely should never have told him that he was engaged to be married. Eddie had let Steve into his house, had acted like he wanted Steve to kiss him. He’d returned the kiss with as much passion and need as Steve had given. All the way up until Steve had said he was engaged. Then he pulled away. Then he told Steve to leave and never come back. God, he was such an idiot. Why did he tell Eddie that? Well, he knew why he did. Because if he didn’t, he would have done a hell of a lot more than kiss Eddie. He said it to let Eddie know that he couldn’t do the things he wanted to do. But he’d never expected Eddie to react the way he did. Eddie was still a virgin, for all intents and purposes. It’s not like Eddie was offering himself to Steve. Or was he? Steve groaned and buried his face in his hands. There was no way Eddie had been offering himself to him. It just wasn’t possible. They hadn’t seen each other in ten years. And then Steve just shows up unexpectedly? No, he was wrong about that. It was just wishful thinking. And he needed to stop. He couldn’t keep thinking about this. Steve stood up and started pacing the living room, looking around for something, anything to take his mind off Eddie. And that was when his eyes fell on the liquor cabinet. That gave him an idea. Steve went to his office, grabbed the small cigar box where he kept his weed hidden from his locked file cabinet, then went back to get a bottle of tequila and a shot glass.  Out on the back deck, Steve took a shot of tequila then lit a joint. He hadn’t drunk straight tequila in a really long time and the familiar taste of it instantly took him back to a time when Eddie didn’t consume his every thought. By the time Nicole got home from work, Steve had finished more than half the bottle of tequila and barely registered it when Nicole came out onto the deck in search of him. He looked up at her and squinted in the bright sunlight. She had her hands on her hips and looked at him disapprovingly. “What,” he asked as he reached for the cigar box. There was a pack of cigarettes in it as well. He lit one and blew the smoke away from where Nicole was standing. “Stop looking at me like that.” “How much have you had to drink?” Steve shrugged, picked up the bottle, then held it up in front of her and grinned. “And you’re smoking? Weed and cigarettes?” “I’m twenty-eight years old, babe,” he slurred. “I don’t need another mother.” “You obviously need something.” She reached for the tequila bottle and Steve snatched it away, raised it to his lips, and took a long gulp. “Did you make dinner?” Steve shook his head. “Why not?” “I’m drunk and stoned, Nic. You really want me fucking with knives and fire in this condition?” Nicole rolled her eyes. “A’ight, fine.” Steve sat the bottle on the table, stubbed his cigarette out on the glass top next to it, then stood up unsteadily. “Dinner. Coming right up.” Steve started to take a step but lost his balance and fell backwards into the chair. Nicole reached for him, but he pushed her hands away. “Stop it. I’m okay.” “I’ll make dinner,” she said. “And a pot of black coffee so you can sober up.” She turned and started for the back door. “Who says I want to sober up,” Steve asked with a chuckle. “I’m kind of enjoying this.” Nicole left him sitting there, so he lit another cigarette and sipped the tequila. An hour later, she was back. Steve was slumped in the chair, his head hanging, his chin on his chest. She stood watching him for a long moment. There was a burned-out cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth and a dusting of fallen ashes on his shirt. She took the cigarette from between his lips and put it on the table with the other cigarette butts and a couple of spent joints. Steve opened his eyes and scrambled to sit up straighter. “Dinner’s ready.” Steve said nothing, just reached for the tequila again and took a drink. “Are you going to come inside and eat?” “You actually cooked?” She nodded as he put the bottle back on the table. “Is it edible?” “Stop being an asshole.” She started to turn, but Steve grabbed her hand. “Let go of me Steve.” “Not until you come give me a kiss.” He tugged her hand and she stumbled towards him. “Sit on my lap, baby.” “No.” Nicole jerked her hand away and rubbed her wrist where Steve had been holding her. “I don’t want to kiss you when you’ve been smoking. Or when you’re this drunk.” Steve shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “Do you want me to bring you a plate of food out here?” “Nah, don’t bother.” Nicole went back inside to eat dinner. When she was done, she did the dishes then went to watch television for a while. Steve stayed outside the whole time. As it got closer to time for bed, Nicole took a shower, changed into her pajamas, poured herself a glass of wine, then went out to check on Steve again. He was still sitting there, smoking a joint. The tequila bottle was almost empty now. He was staring off into space and didn’t acknowledge her when she came out. So, she sat down next to him and waited. But he just continued to smoke and stare off into the darkness. “Steve, what’s gotten into you?” He didn’t answer. “Does this have anything to do with Eddie?” “No.” He didn’t sound convincing. He had never been a good liar. “I don’t believe you,” she said. “Ever since you got back from California, you’ve been different. What happened?” “Nothing happened,” he grunted. “This has nothing to do with him. This is just me having a little fun. I’m on summer break. I want to party a little bit.” “A bottle of tequila and . . .” She leaned towards the table and counted the spent joints mixed with the cigarette butts. “And four joints . . .” Steve raised the joint in his hands to his lips and took a hit. “Five joints isn’t a little bit.” “Stop nagging me, Nic.” “So, you’re going to, what? Sit out here all night? Drunk off your ass? Stoned?” Steve just nodded. “What about me?” “What about you?” He gave her a sideways glance. He knew what she was asking. She wanted to know where her feelings factored into his actions. But right now, he wasn’t in the mood to give her the satisfaction of him acknowledging his poor attitude. “God, you really are an asshole, aren’t you?” She pushed away from the table and stood up. “I’m going to bed.” “I’ll come with you.” Steve tried to stand up but failed. “You stay there,” she said. “I don’t want you in my bed tonight. Not when you’re in that condition.” “It’s my bed,” Steve called after her as she walked away. She stopped at the door and glared back at him. “You moved in with me, remember?” “Really, Steve?” “I’ll sleep in my own bed if I damned well please.” “Fine. You take the bed.” But he didn’t. Not long after Nicole went inside, Steve finished the tequila, propped his feet up on the table next to the empty bottle, and he passed out.  When Nicole woke up on the couch the next morning, Steve was still asleep on the deck. She got ready for work and made a large pot of strong coffee, knowing Steve would need it, whether he wanted it or not. Then she packed some clothes and toiletries into a small suitcase and left it by the door before going out to wake Steve up. Steve groaned as he came awake. His back and neck were stiff from sleeping in such an awkward position, his head was killing him with the worst hangover he’d ever had, and the smell of the coffee she sat on the table was making his stomach churn and gurgle. He rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. “What time is it?” “Almost seven thirty,” Nicole answered. “I’m leaving for work. You going to be okay?” “I’m fine.” “Right, you look fantastic.” He glared at her. He wanted to tell her to fuck off, but he knew that was the absolute worst thing he could say to her right now. So, he just kept his mouth shut. “I’m going to stay in a motel for a few days.” Steve lifted his head and looked at her with bleary, bloodshot eyes. “I’ll let you work through whatever it is you’re trying to work through, but I will not stay here and let you treat me like garbage because your heart and head are all messed up over Eddie.” “I told you; this has nothing . . .” “Spare me, Steve,” she sighed. “At least grant me the courtesy of not lying to me.” “How long are you going to be gone?” “How long are you going to drink and smoke yourself into oblivion?” “Maybe until school starts.”  Nicole stood up and rolled her eyes. “Call me when you’re done acting like a petulant child.” With that, she was gone. ********** The next night, Steve did the same thing. After sleeping most of the day away, he tried to eat some of the leftovers from the dinner Nicole had cooked. But he had been right about them; they were barely edible. He hadn’t been trying to be an asshole to her about her cooking, though he should have worded it a lot nicer. Finally, he scraped the leftovers into the garbage disposal and went in search of more alcohol. There wasn’t much in the liquor cabinet because neither he nor Nicole drank hard alcohol on a regular basis. He was a beer drinker and sometimes enjoyed a glass of wine, and Nicole was exclusively a wine drinker. What hard liquor they had in the bar was left over from a party they’d thrown after she had first moved in with Steve. He groaned and shook his head sadly as he looked at the meager contents of the liquor cabinet. He took out what was left, half a bottle of bourbon and a bottle of vodka with maybe two shots left in it. Steve headed for the back door but then stopped. Nicole wasn’t here and she wasn’t coming home. Why should he sit outside in the heat? He had every right to smoke in his own home if he wanted to. So, he took his stash of weed, which was dangerously low, and the liquor and parked himself on the couch to drink and smoke. He propped his bare feet on the coffee table, something Nicole would scold him for, lit a joint, and reclined on the couch with the bottle of bourbon in one hand and the joint in the other. And he laughed to himself when he tried to imagine the look Nicole would give him if she walked in right now. But then he frowned. He knew he was being completely unfair to her. She didn’t deserve to be treated the way he was treating her. Nicole deserved a lot better. She deserved a lot better than a man who was in love with someone else and was only going through the motions with her because it’s what he was expected to do. Yes, he loved Nicole, but he loved someone else more.  He couldn’t even make himself think his name. He was trying so hard to forget, to move past it all. He just wanted to get back to that place he’d been before that stupid check had come in the mail. Before that, he’d succeeded in blocking it all out, repressing the feelings he knew he’d have for the rest of his life. Because there was something about him. That’s why he’d gone to the hospital that Christmas Eve when he’d heard Wayne was sick. Steve was drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. He was powerless to resist. Steve finished the bourbon, drank what little vodka there was, and smoked a second joint. But it wasn’t working. There wasn’t enough alcohol to get him blackout drunk where he could stop thinking about him, the way it felt to touch him again, to kiss him again after all these years. He needed more alcohol. So, he stumbled around until he found his shoes, wallet, and keys then he left to go to the liquor store. Steve drove slowly and carefully, and luckily there wasn’t much traffic right now. This is the time that most people would just be sitting down to dinner. So, Steve was able to make it to the liquor store without incident. He went inside and carried four bottles of tequila to the register and paid for them and a couple of packs of cigarettes. He wanted more weed too, but that wasn’t going to be as easy to come by. He couldn’t just show up at Reefer Rick’s unannounced. Rick had rules and he wouldn’t even open the door for you if you didn’t have an appointment. Besides, Steve wasn’t sure he could drive all the way out to Lover’s Lake right now. After paying the clerk, who eyed Steve suspiciously as he swayed and held on to the counter to keep from falling over, Steve got back in his car and opened one of the bottles of tequila before taking several gulps of it. That was better. He hated bourbon almost as much as he hated scotch. At least he liked the way tequila tasted. He took a few more drinks, downing about a quarter of the bottle before recapping it and putting it back on the seat and starting the car. He was just about to head for home when he noticed the motel next to the liquor store. And there was Nicole’s car parked at one end of a row of cars, in front of the last motel room door. Steve looked over at the bottles of tequila on his passenger seat and sighed. He really was an asshole; Nicole was right about that. Instead of going home, Steve pulled into the motel and parked crookedly next to Nicole’s car. He got out and approached the last door, hoping she was actually in that room and that he wasn’t about to interrupt something that might get his ass kicked. Because he’d never won a fight in his life, except when he used to beat up . . . He shook his head. Don’t think about him , he told himself. He took a deep breath, held it, then let it out slowly as he knocked on the door. After a moment, it was opened, and Nicole peeked out at him before pulling the door completely open.“What are you doing here?” “Come home, baby.” He smiled at her, trying to turn on that Harrington Charm that he was famous for. But instead, it came off like a sneer, causing Nicole to sigh. “I miss you, Nic.” He took a step towards her, reached for her and caught her with a hand around the back of her neck. “I’m sorry.” “Ew, Steve.” Nicole made a face and stepped out of his reach, causing him to stumble and catch himself on the door facing. “You’ve been drinking and smoking again.” Steve shrugged. “Or is it still, you’re still going from last night?” “I promise I’ll stop, baby,” he slurred. “Just come home with me. Don’t leave me alone with my own thoughts for another night. I’m so sorry.” “Steve, babe, come here.” Nicole couldn’t stand how pitiful he sounded. She reached for him, wrapped him in her arms, and pulled him against her. “Baby, it’s going to be okay. You’ll be okay. I promise.” “Come home with me,” Steve said again. He pulled back and looked into her eyes, licked his lips, then leaned in and kissed her. He tasted awful and Nicole hated it, but she didn’t want to push him away, not right now. He was too fragile, too vulnerable. So, she kissed him back. “Mmm, I love you,” Steve mumbled against her lips as he backed her into the motel room. “Eddie, my baby, I love you so much.” “What?!” Nicole jerked away from Steve and shoved him so hard that he stumbled back and landed hard on his ass just outside the motel room door. “What did you just call me?” “I didn’t call you anything,” Steve said, confusion clouding his already unfocused eyes. “I just said I love you, baby.” “You called me Eddie!” “No, no, no!” Steve scrambled to stand up, stumbling and falling back several times before he finally made it unsteadily to his feet. “I didn’t call you that, Nic. I didn’t.” “Yes, you did.” Steve reached for her again, tried to step back into the room, but she slapped him. It wasn’t hard, she didn’t want to hurt him, just stun him, stop him, maybe knock a little sense into him. “Go home, Steve.” “Come with me, Nic,” he begged. “Please.” “I’m not going anywhere with you until you sober up, stay that way, and get your head back in our relationship.” She started to push the door closed, then peeked out at him through a narrow crack. “I’ll come home when I believe you love me more than you love Eddie Munson.” “Nicole . . .” “I’ll stop by in a few days to check on you and pick up some more of my things.” Nicole closed the door and Steve just stood there staring at it. He didn’t call her by his name, did he? He didn’t mean to. He was trying not to think about him. How could he have been thinking about him while kissing Nicole? He didn’t want to think about him or kiss him. He wanted Nicole, wanted to hold her and kiss her and love her and marry her. He wanted those things with her. He wanted to live happily ever after with Nicole. Except, he knew that deep down inside, he wanted those things with Eddie more. Steve got back in his car and gulped down some more tequila. Then he propped the bottle between his legs and started for home. After a few minutes of driving, Steve realized that he had no idea where he was. He stopped his car, looked around. Nothing looked familiar to him. There were houses all around him and he knew they should look familiar, but his head was swimming in tequila, everything was blurred together, every house looked exactly like the one before it and the one after it. He wasn’t sure where he was. So, he started driving again, slowly, trying to focus his eyes, figure out what street he was on, figure out where home was.  Just as he saw something he recognized, he heard the whoop of a siren and then there were flashing red and blue lights in his rearview mirror. Steve stopped the car, not even bothering to pull over to the curb. First, he was positive he wouldn’t be able to without hitting one of the parked cars there, or someone’s mailbox. And second, he didn’t really see the point. He might be drunk, but at least he knew he was drunk. He was going to jail and there was no way out of it. So, he turned off the car and reached to unbuckle his seatbelt. But he hadn’t even put it on. That was convenient. He put his hands on the steering wheel and waited, then looked up into Officer Glenn Daniels’ eyes as he approached the car, his hand on the butt of his gun. “Harrington?” “It’s me,” he slurred. “Jesus Christ, man.” Daniels peered into the car, saw the open bottle of tequila between Steve’s legs and the other three on the passenger seat. “How much have you had to drink?” “Not enough.” “Come on.” Daniels opened the car door and reached in to grab the bottle between Steve’s legs. “You know I have to take you in for this, right?” Steve just nodded as he stumbled out of the car. “Turn around. Hands on the car, legs apart.” “Assume the position,” Steve said quietly. “Yeah, I know the drill.” “You’re under arrest for driving under the influence and violation of the open container law. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you. You have the right to an attorney. If you can’t afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights?” “I was raised by a lawyer,” Steve answered sarcastically. “Of course, I understand.” Officer Daniels frisked Steve and found nothing on him, so he handcuffed him, pulled him off the car, and led him back to his police cruiser. He practically had to carry him as Steve slumped against him and stumbled the whole way. Once he got him into the backseat of the car, he got into Steve’s car, moved it out of the middle of the road, and parked it in Steve’s driveway. He had only been two houses away from home. When Daniels was back in his police cruiser, headed towards the police station, he glanced at Steve in his rear view mirror. “Harrington, you want me to call your father when I get you to the station?” Steve shook his head. “Nicole?” “Nah, just let me spend the night in jail.” “Judge Reinhold is on a fishing trip with Chief Powell,” Daniels told him. “Unless you want me to call someone to bail you out, you’ll have to stay until they get back on Monday morning.” Steve said nothing. “That’s three days, Steve.” “I don’t care,” he answered. “But I’m about to be sick, so you might want to drive a little faster.” “Oh, hell no,” Daniels said as he pushed harder on the gas pedal. “Do not toss your cookies in my cruiser or I’ll make you clean it out.” They made it to the police station before Steve puked, but just barely. Daniels put him in a holding cell and had just finished uncuffing him when Steve lurched forward, falling hard on his knees in front of the open toilet in the cell and puking. Daniels shook his head and left him there. As long as he was puking in the toilet, he wouldn’t have to clean anything up. And he’d come back later to check on him and bring him some water. He wasn’t sure what was up with Steve. They’d known each other for ten years and played one on one basketball at the park on the weekends. And he’d never known Steve to be a heavy drinker. He just assumed it was something between him and his fiancé. Why else would he be out driving around in the state he was in? In his cell, Steve finished puking. It wasn’t like he had anything in him really. He hadn’t eaten except for two or three bites of the food Nicole had made in over twenty-four hours. All he had in him was alcohol. He sat back on the floor, his back against the single bunk in the cell, but close enough to the toilet that if he started to puke again, he could get to it quickly, assuming he didn’t trip on his own feet, which was a definite possibility as drunk as he was. He leaned his head back against the bunk, closed his eyes, and passed out while seeing Eddie’s face swimming around in his spinning head.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It was so weird for Eddie to be back in Hawkins. When he left ten years ago, he believed that he’d never come back, never see it again. And that was okay; he didn’t want to be here. But he had things he needed to say, and much like Steve had told him, some things just needed to be said face to face. So, after debating with himself, trying to convince himself he had to do this, he finally hopped on a plane and flew back to Indiana.The first thing he did when he got to Hawkins, after checking into a motel and dropping off his suitcase, was go to Roane Hill Cemetery. He brought flowers, though he felt kind of stupid for doing that. Wayne had never been a fan of flowers. He said they made no sense. Why would you give someone something that was going to die in three days? But Eddie brought them anyway. He didn’t want to arrive empty handed in case someone or something in the afterlife was watching. He didn’t believe in God, not after the things that had happened to him in his life. What kind of God would let a small boy suffer through the things Eddie had suffered through. Even if God did exist, Eddie didn’t want to worship a being that would do that to an innocent boy. So, he brought the flowers. Just in case. Eddie knelt between Wayne’s and Patsy’s graves. He laid a hand on Patsy’s headstone, traced his fingers over her name. He’d only known her a few months, but she had been so kind and patient with him. He would have loved to be raised by both her and Wayne. If she had been there when Wayne got sick, they could have comforted each other, been there for each other, helped each other through the pain and the loss. But they’d lost her long before Wayne had gotten sick. Eddie had never once in his life driven drunk because of what happened to Patsy. He didn’t want to ever take the chance that he would take an innocent life over something so stupid. Then he turned to Wayne’s grave and reached to pluck the weeds away. “Wayne Lloyd Munson,” Eddie whispered. “I still miss you. I’m sorry I haven’t been here to visit. I had to get away from this place.” He wiped a tear from his cheek. “Remember when you used to read my English essays? And you told me you thought I’d make a great writer? Well, I am. I’ve published two novels. The third one is finished, and we’ll release it next year. And I’m about halfway through the fourth.” Eddie paused. The short story that Eddie had written in school and used as a basis for his first book was Wayne’s favorite, and Eddie wished Wayne could read the finished novel. “I supported myself working in a motorcycle shop until my books started making money. I have a custom bike that I built myself, from the ground up. She’s my baby. I think you’d love her.” He looked around as he heard quiet voices nearby. A small family was gathered around a grave several yards away. “I’ve got to go. I’m not sure how long I’m going to be in town, but I’ll stop bye and say goodbye before I go.” He pressed his hand to Wayne’s name on the headstone. “I love you, dad.” Next, Eddie drove to Forest Hills Trailer Park. He stopped in front of the lot where their trailer used to be. The trailer was gone and, in its place, stood a larger, nicer trailer than the one he’d lived in with Wayne. He was glad of that. He wasn’t sure why he’d come out here, he really didn’t want to see the trailer. But he had an overwhelming urge to see the place where Wayne had died, the last place he and Wayne had been together. As he sat there, someone came out of the trailer and looked at him curiously. He couldn’t blame them. A stranger was sitting in a car in front of their trailer, just staring, tears running down his face. So, Eddie pulled the rental car away from the curb and drove away. He drove to Steve’s parents’ house. He didn’t know where else to go. He didn’t know where Steve lived, and he knew that his parents were still in the same house, otherwise how would they have gotten the check Eddie had sent. He sat in front of their house for a few minutes, mustering the courage to get out and go knock on the door. After everything they’d done for him, Eddie had run away without even saying goodbye. He could only imagine what they must think of him. He would thank them now, give them a check that was addressed to them, not Steve, then ask them if they would give him Steve’s address. Hopefully, they didn’t hate him, and they’d help him find Steve. He took a deep breath, held it for a couple of heartbeats, then let it out slowly as he got out of the car and knocked on the Harrington’s front door. ********** Though Steve had asked him not to, Daniels tried to call Nicole the next morning. But there was no answer at their house, and he didn’t have her cell number. So, he called Steve’s father. He assured him that Steve was okay, just hung over, and explained that he would have to sit in jail until Monday if he didn’t come get him. Mr. Harrington glanced back at his wife and Eddie as he listened to Daniels. They were sitting on the couch together, she was holding his hands, and he was smiling sadly at her. When he got off the phone, he went back to his recliner and sat down across from Eddie and his wife. “Well, I know why Steve’s not answering his phone.” “Oh, was that him on the phone,” Mrs. Harrington asked, and her husband shook his head. “Is he okay?” “He’s doing as well as can be expected,” he said. “He’s got a terrible hangover.” Eddie’s eyes widened in surprise, mirroring Mrs. Harrington’s. “He got pulled over last night for driving under the influence.” Eddie flinched as if he’d been hit. Mrs. Harrington tightened her grip on his hands. “He asked Officer Daniels not to call anyone, but he doesn’t want Steve to spend the entire weekend in jail, so he called me anyway.” “Steve?” Mrs. Harrington looked utterly confused. “He doesn’t drink like that,” she said. “I know,” Mr. Harrington replied. “But Daniels said he thinks it has something to do with Nicole. Steve didn’t want him to call her either. He tried but she isn’t home. And she wasn’t there when he picked Steve up.” He explained what Officer Daniels had told him about arresting Steve in front of his own house. “I’m going to go bail him out,” he said. “I’ll bring him back here so you two can talk.” “No,” Eddie said as he stood up. “Let me do it. It’s the least I can do if you won’t take the check.” “How many times do I have to tell you, son,” Mr. Harrington said. “You don’t owe us anything.” “Let me go get Steve anyway,” he said. “I came here to talk to him, and maybe if he’s as hungover as you say, he’ll at least sit still and listen to what I have to say.” After thinking about it for a minute, Mr. Harrington nodded. “Thanks. I’ll tell him to call you later. Don’t worry.” “Let me walk you to the door,” Mrs. Harrington said. She walked with Eddie to the front door and took his hands in hers when he stopped and turned to face her. “Eddie, Steve told me what happened in California. And when he came back, he was distraught. It was even worse than when . . .” She sighed heavily. She didn’t want to put any undue pressure on Eddie, but he needed to know. “When you left ten years ago, he was depressed, almost on the verge of suicide. He missed you so much and didn’t understand why you left without saying goodbye. And this, it seems worse. I’m scared for my baby, Eddie.” “I understand,” he told her. “I don’t know that me being here will make it any better. But he flew all the way to California to tell me he loves me because he felt like he needed to. Well, now there’s something I feel like I need to say to him.” “Be gentle with him.” Eddie nodded once. “Thank you.” She hugged him and he was gone. ********** Steve was confused. Daniels admitted, when he came to tell Steve he’d made bail, that he’d called his dad. But it wasn’t his dad who came to bail him out. Daniels wouldn’t tell him who it was. He just gave Steve his wallet and keys back and told him to leave. He stepped out of the police station into the bright Saturday afternoon light and raised a hand to shield his eyes from the sun. He didn’t want to walk home, but he really had no other choice. He figured he could call his mom or dad and they’d come pick him up and give him a ride. But he didn’t want to deal with the questions or the disapproval. He just wanted a drink. Steve started walking then stopped suddenly. He closed his eyes, shook his head. Could a hangover make you hallucinate? He could have sworn he’d just seen Eddie leaning casually against a car parked at the curb. But that was impossible. Eddie was two thousand miles away in California, not wanting anything to do with Steve. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked. He wasn’t hallucinating. Eddie was there, his ankles crossed, his arms folded over his chest, sunglasses covering his big, beautiful brown eyes. Steve shook his head again. No. He had a fiancé. He couldn’t think like that. He approached Eddie cautiously, stopped a few feet away. “You’re welcome.” Steve shook his head again. He didn’t know what Eddie was talking about. Eddie nodded towards the police station. “Bailing you out.” “Oh, yeah,” Steve said. “Thanks.”  An image of Nicole glaring hatefully at him as he’d been a complete asshole to her popped into his head. He couldn’t believe how much he was hurting her. That wasn’t his nature. He was better than that. And even if he wasn’t, even if he’d become something he hated, the kind of person he didn’t want in his life, she still didn’t deserve what he was doing to her. He raised his eyes to meet Eddie’s. He had pushed his sunglasses up into his hair and was watching him intently, like he was trying to read the thoughts going through his head. After a moment, he pushed off the car and stood in front of Steve. He nodded back towards his rental car. “Get in,” he said. “I’ll take you home.” “No thanks,” Steve said bitterly. “I’ll walk.” He turned and started walking again. Eddie watched him for a few steps, then went after him and fell into step next to him. “What are you doing?” “Walking you home,” Eddie said. “I can make it on my own.” Eddie just shrugged. “Come on, man. Leave me alone. I just want to go home, call my fiancé, and apologize to her, and get on with my life.” “I’m all for that,” Eddie told him. “But I listened to you when you showed up out of the blue and had something you needed to say. Now it’s my turn.” “What could you possibly have to say that I would want to hear?” “I didn’t say you’d want to hear it,” Eddie laughed softly. “In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if you hit me when you hear what I have to say. But you owe me this. You owe it to me to listen to what I need to say.” “Fine. What do you need to say?” “I love you too.” Steve’s step faltered for a moment, but he regained his composure and kept going without looking at Eddie. “I’ve never stopped loving you. For the last decade, I’ve lived this fantasy life inside my head where we were together, in love, happy. And I wanted to reach out to you so badly the whole time. But I had it in my head that you hated me for leaving you the way I did. Hell, I hated myself for leaving you the way I did.” Eddie took a deep breath and waited. When Steve said nothing, he went on. “I knew you wouldn’t take the check. But I sent it anyway because I was hoping you’d come looking for me. Why do you think I sent you a check with my name and PO Box on it? I wanted you to come find me. I figured that if I sent the check one of two things would happen. You’d either cash it, or not, and ignore me. Or you’d come after me.” They walked in silence for a while as Steve let what Eddie said sink in. Somehow, Steve had known Eddie had sent the check for that exact reason. Or maybe he just wanted that to be the case. But here was Eddie, walking through Downtown Hawkins at his side, telling him exactly what he wanted to hear. “If you wanted me to come looking for you,” Steve said so quietly that Eddie had to lean in a little closer to hear him. “Why did you tell me to leave and not come back?” “You told me there was no chance of us ever being together,” Eddie answered. “It hurt.” “I never said that.” “Dude, you told me that you’re getting married,” Eddie laughed. “If that wasn’t the biggest fuck you I’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is.” Steve stole a glance over at him. He was smiling, but it wasn’t a happy smile, and it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “And then, when I told you to go, I was hoping and praying that you’d fight to stay. I wanted you to beg me to let you stay. I wanted you to fight for me if you loved me like you said you did. I wanted you to fight, Steve. But you didn’t. You just walked out. You told me fuck you a second time.” “I was just trying to give you what I thought you wanted.” “What did you think was going to happen when you walked into my house and told me you loved me,” Eddie asked, and Steve just shrugged. “What would you have done if I wasn’t so fucked up that I’m a thirty-year-old virgin and I had jumped into your arms, and we’d had sex right there in my kitchen?” Steve stopped walking and turned to face Eddie. “What about your fiancé? Were you really going to cheat on her?” “Yes,” Steve answered without hesitation. But then he thought about it for a moment. “No. Kissing you was bad enough. No, I wouldn’t have cheated on her. That’s not the kind of person I am.” He started walking again and Eddie joined him. “Are you here because you want me to cheat on her?” “Yes,” Eddie answered just as quickly as Steve had. “But no. I don’t even know the woman, but I’m sure that if she’s special enough that you fell in love with her, she deserves much better.” “She deserves a hell of a lot better than me.” “Don’t we all?” He glanced over at Eddie again. He was smirking, letting Steve know he was joking. “I came here because I thought you needed to know how you made me feel when you said that you loved me, then followed it up with the announcement of your marriage. I came here because I love you and I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t. I should have told you ten years ago. But I wasn’t sure how you’d respond. I told you I wouldn’t have left Hawkins if you’d told me how you felt. I meant that. But you never said it and I couldn’t make myself that vulnerable. Not when I’d just lost the only other person who’s ever loved me.” “That’s why I didn’t tell you,” Steve said softly. “I didn’t want to burden you with that when you were so lost.” “It wouldn’t have been a burden,” Eddie said. “It would have been a relief to know I still had someone who loved me.”  Steve reached over and fluttered his fingers against Eddie’s as they walked. Eddie put his hand into Steve’s, and they walked the rest of the way to his house in silence, holding hands, both of them thinking about what the other had said. When they got to Steve’s house, they stopped outside his front door and turned to face each other, staring into each other’s eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” Steve whispered. “My relationship is on the rocks right now because I love you so much, more than I’ve ever loved Nicole. She moved out temporarily because of my obsession with you. I started drinking and being a complete dick to her.” “Were you trying to piss her off so she’d leave and you’d be free?” “I don’t know,” Steve answered. “Ever since that check arrived in the mail, I don’t know what I’ve been doing. Everywhere I look, I see you. Everything makes me think about you. That’s why I risked my relationship to go to California and find you.” “You told her where you were going?” Steve nodded slowly. “Not real bright, Harrington.” “Never could think real straight when it came to you.” Steve finally let go of Eddie’s hand and unlocked and opened the front door. “Come inside?” “I really need to get back to my car,” Eddie said. “It’s a rental and I think I was parked in a no parking zone.” “I’ll drive you back.” “No.” Eddie stepped back, out of Steve’s reach. “I’ll walk. I’ve got a lot to think about. But, uhm, maybe . . .” He hesitated, ran a hand through his hair, and peeked shyly up at Steve. “Maybe we could be friends. I mean, can I get your phone number? Just because we live two thousand miles apart doesn’t mean we have to be complete strangers.” “Come in,” Steve said. “Just for a minute. We can exchange numbers.” Eddie nodded and followed Steve inside. Steve found his phone where he’d left it on the coffee table next to the empty bourbon and vodka bottles. Eddie eyed them curiously and Steve had the sense to look embarrassed. He handed his phone to Eddie. “Put your contact info in.” Eddie handed his phone to Steve and they both entered their numbers into each other’s phones before handing them back. “Thanks.” “Can I hug you before I leave?” Steve just nodded, so Eddie pulled Steve into his arms, and they held onto each other for close to a minute, neither of them wanting to let go. “You still make me feel safe,” Eddie whispered against Steve’s shoulder. Finally, he let him go. “I’ll call you.” “Looking forward to it.” Steve walked him back to the door. “Bye, Eddie.” Eddie started to leave but suddenly stopped, turned back to Steve, and threw himself at him. Steve caught him as their lips crashed together in a heated, almost violent kiss. They pawed at each other, their hands roaming the other’s body, as their tongues fought for control, dancing back and forth. After several minutes, when they were both breathless and spent, they reluctantly let go, backing slowly away from each other, sharing soft nips and pecks, until they were no longer in reach. “Bye, Steve.”  Eddie turned and walked away, and Steve went back inside, closed the door, and leaned back against it, his eyes closed, struggling with his own thoughts and emotions. Nicole said she’d come back when she believed that Steve loved her more than Eddie. But he wasn’t sure he could prove that to her when he didn’t even believe it himself. ********** Eddie walked back to the police station and shook his head when he found the parking ticket on the windshield of the car. He went inside, apologized, then paid for the ticket and went back to the motel where he was staying. He parked his car and as he was getting out, a pretty red-haired woman stepped out of the room next to his. He didn’t think much of it at the time, he just went to his door and unlocked it, but just as he was about to go inside, she spoke. “Eddie?” He looked back at her. He didn’t recognize her. “Are you Eddie Munson?” “Yeah,” he answered. “Last time I checked anyway. And you are?” “My name is Nicole,” she said. Eddie thought for a long moment. Nicole. Why did that name sound familiar? “I’m Steve Harrington’s fiancé.” Eddie flinched. This was her. This was the woman that, in the deepest recesses of his subconscious, he hated. Because Steve was going to marry her. Steve that loved him; Steve that he loved. Except they weren’t supposed to love each other. They were just supposed to be friends. Because of this woman. Because of Nicole. If it wasn’t for her, they could love each other and be together. But Steve wouldn’t cheat on her, no more than just the two kisses they’d shared; two kisses that Eddie suddenly felt very guilty about, now that he was face to face with the woman herself. Besides, even if Steve were willing to cheat, Eddie wasn’t willing to let him. “Yeah, it’s nice to meet you,” Eddie said, trying to keep his voice even. What were the chances that he’d checked into the motel room right next to hers? “I think we need to talk.” Eddie just nodded. “Can we go get coffee or something?” “Uhm, yeah,” Eddie said. “Sure. Uh, anywhere in particular?” “There’s a little coffee shop around the corner,” she answered. “Why don’t you meet me there?” “Okay, sure.”  He watched her get into her car and drive away. He pulled out his phone. Should he call Steve and tell him that he’d just run into Nicole? That she invited him to coffee because they needed to talk? It felt like the right thing to do. But then curiosity got the best of him, and Eddie put his phone back in his pocket, got back in his car, and headed for the coffee shop.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When Eddie walked in, he immediately spotted Nicole. She wasn’t hard to miss with all that red hair. He wasn’t a fan of redheads usually, but he had to admit that her dark auburn locks that curled around her face and shoulders were beautiful. He squared his shoulders, braced himself, then started towards the table. Nicole stood up as he got closer. She reached for him when he stopped in front of her and he jumped back, shying away from her touch. Nicole gave him an odd look but lowered her hands and sat back down while motioning for Eddie to join her.

As soon as Eddie sat down, a waitress approached the table and offered to bring Eddie coffee. He declined; he still didn’t like coffee. When she was gone, he watched Nicole as she took a sip of her coffee, then she leveled her gaze at him, tapped her nails against the Formica tabletop, and tilted her head to one side as she examined Eddie. His cheeks turned pink under her scrutiny, and he dropped his eyes to where his hands were palm flat against the table.

“What are you doing in Hawkins?” Eddie looked up and she was squinting at him, like she was trying to see through him, to get into his head. “Have you seen Steve?”

He thought about lying to her. He didn’t know what she knew, how much Steve had told her about their past, about his visit to California. He didn’t want to ruin anything for Steve. Well, yes, he did. He wanted Nicole to break up with Steve and he wanted Steve to tell him he loved him again. But that was selfish and cruel. He didn’t know Nicole. It wasn’t her fault that Eddie had run away and broken Steve’s heart. What was Steve supposed to do? Sit around and wait, hoping that someday Eddie would come back? No. He was supposed to find someone that he could love and who could love him back. And he was supposed to get married, work at a great job he loved, and live happily ever after. And if Steve had felt that he wanted to do that with Nicole, then who was Eddie to stand in their way?

Except that Eddie wasn’t going to give up without a fight. Steve may have given in when Eddie told him to leave, but Eddie couldn’t give up that easily. He loved Steve too much. Steve was the only thing Eddie ever wanted. Even when he had tried dating other men, it was always Steve he wanted. He compared the others to Steve, and they all fell short. It was like he had joked with himself so many times; other men should apologize for not being Steve Harrington. Steve was still the only man he’d ever kissed, the only man who’d ever touched him kindly or gently in a sexual way. And Eddie wanted it to stay that way. Even if that meant he’d go to his grave a virgin.

“I bailed Steve out of jail this afternoon.” Her eyes went wide, and a momentary flash of panic clouded them. “Apparently he was drunk yesterday and got lost while trying to drive home from . . . somewhere.”

“He came to ask me to come home,” Nicole told him. “He was drunk and stoned. He was an awful, pathetic, wasted mess. And I was about to give in and go home with him when he called me by your name.” This time it was Eddie’s eyes that went wide. “He told me how much he loved me, then called me Eddie.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What happened in California,” Nicole asked, an almost desperate pleading in her voice. “He came back, I don’t know . . . Different? Something wasn’t right. He was too loving, too attentive. But he slowly unraveled until he was nothing but a worthless mess who apparently got arrested last night.”

“He didn’t tell you about his visit?” Nicole shook her head. “You let him drive last night, in the condition he was in?”

“Let him?” Nicole laughed bitterly. “When it comes to you, no one lets Steve do anything. He just does whatever he wants. He doesn’t care who he hurts in the process.”

“You could have stopped him,” Eddie said. “You should have stopped him. What if he’d hurt himself?” Eddie lowered his eyes as he remembered the day Chief Hopper had come to tell him and Wayne that Patsy was dead. “He could have hurt someone else,” he said bitterly.

“You don’t know Steve,” she answered. Eddie started to protest, but she held up a hand to silence him. “You may think you do, but you haven’t been part of his life since you ran out on him. You don’t know anything about him, what kind of person he is, what he likes and dislikes. He’s a stranger to you.”

“He doesn’t have to be,” Eddie said. “I want to be friends. I want to get to know him.”

“Why? So you can take him from me?” Eddie didn’t answer that; he just held her gaze almost defiantly. He couldn’t lie to her and tell her that the thought hadn’t crossed his mind. “You never answered my questions.”

“Which ones?”

“Why are you in Hawkins and what happened in California?”

“What happened in California isn’t my story to tell you,” Eddie said. “If Steve wanted you to know that, he would have told you. As for why I’m in Hawkins? I came to tell Steve that I love him.” Nicole almost choked on her coffee. She grabbed a handful of napkins from the dispenser on the table and wiped her mouth as she stared incredulously at Eddie. “I never told him that I loved him. I was so messed up back then. Steve was the only person who had ever been kind to me other than my mom and dad.” He swallowed hard. “My adopted parents, I mean. And Steve was there for me. He helped me take care of my dad as he was dying. He was right there with me, holding my hand, when my dad died in my arms.”

“Eddie, I’m sorry.” Nicole’s face softened. “I didn’t know that.” She reached across the table to lay her hands over Eddie’s, but he jerked back, shoved his hands under the table while giving her an apologetic look. “Where was your mom when he was dying?”

“She was killed right after they adopted me,” Eddie said sadly. “Killed by a drunk driver.” Nicole flinched at that. Now she understood the animosity in Eddie’s voice when he was chastising her for letting Steve drive in the condition he had been in. “Wayne raised me on his own. So, when he got sick, I was all he had. Until Steve came along.” He smiled a sad little smile. “He loved Steve.” Nicole seemed lost in thought for a long moment, staring into her cup of coffee. Eddie could practically hear the wheels in her head turning. Finally, she looked up at him, a frown creasing her eyes. “What?”

“What day did your father die?”

“March thirty-first,” Eddie answered. “Why?”

“Every year, on March thirty-first, Steve goes to Roane Hill Cemetery.” Eddie gasped softly. “I asked him why once and he said he didn’t want to talk about it. He never has let me go with him either. But he’s never missed a year in all the time we’ve been together.”

“My dad is buried there,” Eddie said quietly as he wiped a tear from his cheek. He was going to have to remember to thank Steve for continuing to look after Wayne for him.

They were both quiet for a long time. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts. Nicole was trying to figure out exactly what Eddie’s motives were, and Eddie was trying to figure out how much Nicole really loved Steve. Neither one of them had enough frame of reference to come up with an informed opinion. Especially Eddie. Nicole was right about Eddie and Steve being strangers. He didn’t know anything about Steve except that he was engaged to Nicole, and he loved her and Eddie both. The question was, was it the same kind of love?

“So, you just want to be friends with him?” Eddie nodded though that wasn’t exactly what he’d said. He wanted more than to be

just

friends. But that would work for now. “How long will you be in town?”

“That all depends on Steve,” Eddie said.

I don’t plan to let go that easily

, he thought to himself, but didn’t say that to her. He was sure the look he was giving her, one of defiance and challenge, was enough to get his meaning across. “And you.”

“Come over for dinner tomorrow night.” Eddie just stared at her, wondering if he’d heard her right. She seemed to sense what he was thinking. “I’m serious. I’ll go home and make sure Steve is okay, keep him sober, and tomorrow evening, you can come by and have dinner with us. Let you and Steve have a chance to get to know each other and be just friends.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said with an emphatic nod, trying to ignore the fact that she’d used the word

just

again. “I’d like that.”

“Great.” Nicole slid out of the booth and stood up. She started to reach for Eddie, to shake his hand, but then she remembered how he’d reacted the other times she’d tried to touch him, so she refrained and just smiled. “Six tomorrow. Do you know where we live?” Eddie just nodded. He’d made note of the address when he walked Steve home. “I’ll get Steve to cook. Otherwise, we’d all starve. I’m useless in the kitchen.”

Nicole turned to leave, and Eddie just watched her go. She was making this too easy on Eddie. He thought he was going to have to try and win Steve back from two thousand miles away. But Nicole was inviting him into their home, encouraging him to be friends with her fiancé. And Eddie had every intention of being his friend. And so much more. He would just need to be careful. He didn’t want anyone to get hurt, though someone inevitably would. This triangle had sharp points and he would have to be careful navigating around them.

**********

At five minutes to six on Sunday evening, Eddie knocked on Steve’s front door. He opened it a moment later and smiled broadly at Eddie. He reached for him, took his hand in his, guided him into the house, then pulled him against him. Their lips met and Eddie arched into Steve, raised a hand to cup the back of his neck as Steve’s hands circled his waist. Their body’s moved against each other causing Eddie to whimper softly into Steve’s mouth. Steve backed Eddie into the door, pressed his body hard against him, and positioned a leg so that his thigh slid easily against Eddie’s crotch. Eddie whimpered again, pushed his hips forward to get more friction, then gasped loudly when Steve released his mouth, kissed his jaw, then touched his lips to Eddie’s throat, kissing up to the tender spot just below his ear before nipping softly at the lobe.

“Nicole,” Eddie whispered.

“On the phone in the bedroom,” Steve breathed into his ear. He pushed his body harder against Eddie’s. Eddie could feel Steve’s erection against him, and he was sure Steve could feel his as it quickly grew, throbbing against Steve’s thigh. “I want you so bad,” Steve panted into his ear. “God damn, I’ve missed you, Eddie.”

“Stop,” Eddie gasped. “Please, Steve. If we don’t stop this, I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to control myself.”

“Tell me you love me, and I’ll stop,” Steve said between soft nibbles on Eddie’s neck.

“I love you, Steve,” Eddie whimpered. “With all my heart.”

“I love you too, baby.” With one last kiss, Steve let go of Eddie and stepped back. Both of their bodies were begging for more, but they couldn’t. It was wrong and it wasn’t why Eddie was here. “Thank you for coming,” he said in a voice that was more even than he felt. “What are the odds that you and Nic were in neighboring rooms at the motel?”

“Astronomical,” Eddie laughed softly.

“When did you get into town? Were you already there when I made a fool of myself at her door before getting arrested?”

“Nah, I didn’t get in until yesterday,” Eddie answered as he saw Nicole coming up behind Steve. “Hi.”

“Hi, Eddie.” Nicole gave him a bright smile. “Steve’s making Beef Bourguignon,” she said as she laced an arm around Steve’s. “He’s been working on it for hours.”

“It smells great,” Eddie said.

“Well, come in.” Nicole motioned towards the kitchen. “We never eat in the dining room. Too formal. We just eat at the kitchen table.” They led Eddie into the kitchen. “I hope that’s okay.”

“I usually eat take out or crap out of the microwave while sitting in front of my computer,” Eddie told her. “A home cooked meal served anywhere sounds good.”

“You have a stove now,” Steve said to Eddie as he peeked into the oven. “I saw it.”

“Old habits,” Eddie laughed. He saw the confused way Nicole was looking at him, so he explained. “The trailer we lived in when Steve and I started hanging out together didn’t have a stove. We had to microwave everything back then. Or Steve would bring us take out.”

“Lots of milkshakes from Benny’s,” Steve added. “Wayne loved milkshakes.” Nicole reached over and put her hand in Steve’s. Steve looked down at it, stole a glance at Eddie. He was looking at their hands. Steve pulled away from Nicole with an apologetic smile and went to the refrigerator. “You want a beer, Eddie?”

“Yeah, sure,” he answered. “Thanks.”

Steve opened two beers and handed one to Eddie, then poured a glass of wine for Nicole before they all sat down at the table. Eddie sat first then watched as Nicole pulled her chair around the table so that when they sat, she was shoulder to shoulder with Steve. Then she took Steve’s hand in hers and held it on the table between them as she smiled broadly at Eddie. That stung Eddie a little because there was something about the way Nicole was looking at him, something in her too big smile that seemed forced. Or deliberate. She wanted Eddie to see her and Steve together, to know that Steve belonged to her. Eddie dragged his eyes away from their hands, met Nicole’s eyes, and silently dared her to try and keep Steve from him. She seemed to understand what he was thinking, and her smile morphed into a smirk momentarily before settling back into that calculatingly unnatural smile.

“So, Eddie,” Nicole began. “What do you do?”

“I’m a writer,” he answered. “I write fantasy Dungeons and Dragons novels.”

“Fantasy?” Eddie nodded. “That’s very . . . interesting. Is there a market for that?”

“My most recent book, the second in a series, has only been out for a few months, but it’s breaking records all over the country.” Steve beamed proudly at that, and Nicole squeezed his hand. “My first book sold thirty-eight million copies,” Eddie told her. “And it has been translated into twelve different languages.” He stole a glance at Steve. “Including Klingon.”

“Klingon?” Eddie nodded in response to Steve’s question. “That’s so fucking cool, ba . . . That’s cool.” Eddie noticed the way Nicole cringed when Steve slipped and almost called him baby. He couldn’t help but find a little satisfaction in that.

“He’s teasing you,” Nicole laughed. “Klingon isn’t a real language. Don’t be stupid.” Steve pulled his hand from Nicole’s and frowned at her.

“Steve’s not stupid,” Eddie said defensively, his voice low and not without a hint of warning in it. “It was created for Star Trek. But there are entire books written in Klingon. Even the Bible has been translated into Klingon.”

“I think the food’s ready.”

Steve stood up and walked over to the stove. Eddie watched him go, seeing how uncomfortable he suddenly was. Eddie wondered if Nicole insulted Steve like that on a regular basis. He certainly hadn’t seemed surprised when she called him stupid. It upset him, sure. Anyone could have seen that. But he almost looked like he expected it. Eddie shook his head. Did Nicole even realize that she’d upset him?

“I work at Hawkins National Labs,” Nicole said, leaning into Eddie’s field of vision and forcing him to look at her instead of Steve. “About a month ago, I was able to secure a grant from the DOE for the research we’re doing.”

“DOE?”

“Department of Energy,” She explained. “We’re a subsidiary.” Eddie nodded. He remembered Wayne talking about the Laboratory when he was a kid. Wayne was convinced it was run by the CIA, or maybe the Soviets. “I’m in R&D, researching and developing cleaner, more efficient energy sources for Hawkins Power and Light.”

“Are you a communist?” Nicole froze and Eddie saw Steve cover his mouth with his hand to hold back a laugh. “Isn’t Hawkins National Lab run by the Russian government?”

“It most certainly is not,” Nicole scoffed indignantly. “I just told you, we’re under the charge of the United States Department of Energy.”

“Ah, you didn’t say United States the first time.” Eddie smirked at her as Steve brought plates of food and a basket of dinner rolls to the table. “But I didn’t come here to talk about Hawkins National Labs,” Eddie told her as Steve sat back down. “Or you. I came over to get to know Steve a little better.” He gave Nicole another smirk then turned his attention to Steve. “What do you do?”

“I’m a guidance counselor at the middle school,” he said. “I got a degree in child development, with a minor in teaching. I love working with kids. Robin and Dustin said this is what I was destined to do after raising him and the other boys the way I did.”

“I told him he should move into teaching,” Nicole cut in. “With some teaching experience at the high school, and some professional development hours, he could probably get a job at one of the universities. Maybe Purdue or Notre Dame. Or Northwestern in Chicago.”

“She pesters me about Northwestern all the time,” Steve said. He and Eddie were still watching each other closely, neither of them even looked at Nicole when she spoke. They were too lost in each other. “It’s only half an hour from Argonne National Labs.”

“I don’t pester you,” Nicole said with a nervous laugh. “But it would be a huge advancement for both our careers if you had tenure at Northwestern and I was transferred to Argonne.”

“Why would he do that?” Eddie asked, his eyes never leaving Steve’s. “If he’s happy where he is.”

“I am happy,” Steve said. “Like I said, I love working with kids. I really . . .” He stopped suddenly when he felt Eddie’s foot nudge his under the table. Eddie winked, almost imperceptibly but Steve saw it and smiled as Eddie’s foot moved up and down his calf. “I really don’t want to teach adults.”

“Then you shouldn’t have to,” Eddie told him. “I bet you’re amazing at what you do. Dustin and Mike absolutely worshipped you when they were kids. Dustin thought you were a total bad ass. Insisted on the matter, in fact.” He laid his fork down. “How are those little buttheads?”

“They’re great,” Steve answered with a fond smile. “Mike and his girlfriend, Jane, live in New York. Dustin is studying biomedical engineering at Purdue.”

“See, if we went to Purdue, you could see Dustin more often,” Nicole chimed in, trying to sound chipper, but Eddie could tell that she was annoyed.

“He doesn’t want to go to Purdue,” Eddie told her, finally looking over at her. “He’s happy where he is.”

“I know, I know.” Nicole sighed heavily. “It’s just a thought for our future. And our kids.”

“Kids?” Eddie picked up his fork again and took a bite without looking at Steve. He hadn’t even thought about the fact that they might want to have kids.

“Whoa,” Steve laughed. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Kids are a long way off. If we decide that’s what we want.” Nicole opened her mouth to say something, but Steve stopped her. “Let’s not do this right now, Nic. Okay?”

“Okay, baby.” She glared at Eddie for a moment before turning her attention to her glass of wine. “Would you get me some more wine?”

“Sure.” Steve reached for her glass, but she pulled it away.

“Just bring the bottle.” As Steve got up to get the bottle, Nicole muttered to herself. “I think I’m going to need it.” Eddie had to force himself not to laugh.

They finished dinner with awkward small talk. Eddie made it a point to show as little interest as he could in Nicole and anything she had to say. And Nicole made it a point to dote on Steve, to touch him whenever she could, and to call him babe, baby, sweetheart, and darling as often as possible. Steve noticed the tension between them, and he knew exactly what they were both doing. But as flattering as it was to have them practically fighting over him, Steve hated it. He loved them both, though if he was being honest with himself, given the choice, he would choose Eddie over Nicole. The problem was, he was already engaged to Nicole. He couldn’t just break up with her to be with Eddie. He couldn’t hurt her that way. But he didn’t want to hurt Eddie either.

When they were done eating, Steve asked Nicole to do the dinner dishes and let him and Eddie talk alone for a while. The look on her face was obvious. She didn’t want them to be alone together. Steve and Eddie could both see that. But she pasted on the fakest smile they had ever seen and told them it was okay. Doing the dishes was the least she could do since Steve had cooked dinner.

“Do you still . . .” Steve glanced at Nicole as he spoke to Eddie. “Uh, smoke?”

“Yeah,” Eddie answered with a grin. “I definitely do. Why? You got any?”

“I have enough left for a joint,” Steve answered. “I need to get out to Reefer Rick’s soon and restock.”

“Reefer Rick? He’s still around?”

“He’s not going anywhere any time soon,” Steve laughed. “Nic, we’re going to step out onto the deck for a while.”

“You’re not going to smoke weed, are you?”

“Yes, we are.” Eddie secretly delighted in the disgusted look Nicole gave Steve when he said that. “Don’t say a word, Nic. We’re grown men and we can share a joint without you judging us for it.”

“Fine,” she huffed and turned back to the sink to start on the dishes.

“We’ll be back.” Outside, Steve handed Eddie the weed and rolling papers. “You were always a better roller than I was,” he said. “You do the honors.” Eddie sat down at the table and rolled a joint. Steve watched his hands move, watched the way his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth when he was concentrating on what he was doing. Then chills ran through him when Eddie stuck his tongue out and licked the joint to seal it. “You still have the most beautiful mouth I’ve ever seen,” Steve whispered as Eddie put the joint between his lips and lit it.

“Yeah?” Eddie blew out the lungful of smoke he was holding as Steve took the joint from him. “Why don’t you get a little closer and let me kiss you again.”

“We shouldn’t.” Steve took a long hit and held it, passing it back to Eddie.

“We shouldn’t,” Eddie said. “But we want to.” Eddie stood up, took a step closer to Steve’s chair, then straddled his thighs and sat down. “She can’t see us out here, can she?”

“No,” Steve said breathlessly. “Only if she comes outside.”

“Good.” Eddie took a hit then pressed his lips to Steve’s. Steve opened his mouth and inhaled as Eddie blew the smoke into his mouth. “Hold it, baby.” Steve held his breath and Eddie moved his lips to his neck, kissed him softly, then bit him, held the skin between his teeth and ran his tongue back and forth over it. As much as he wanted to just leave the biggest hickey in the world, he didn’t. He released Steve’s skin and moved back up to his mouth. “Let it out now.”

Steve exhaled then their lips crashed together again. The joint fell from Eddie’s hand and landed on the deck, forgotten by both of them. As they kissed, Eddie slipped his hands under Steve’s shirt, let his fingers trail through the soft hair on his torso, moving lower as their kiss intensified. Then his hands were on Steve’s belt, fumbling with the buckle. He arched his hips up and moaned softly into Eddie’s mouth.

“Don’t, Eddie.”

“No?” Steve shook his head, so Eddie let go of his belt, but he pushed one hand lower and cupped it over Steve’s dick. Steve drew in a sharp breath. “Feels like you don’t want me to stop.”

“We can’t do this here,” Steve gasped, though he made no move to stop what Eddie was doing.

“Then come back to my motel with me.”

“Fuck, baby, I can’t.” Steve reached between them and cupped his own hand over Eddie’s erection and squeezed it firmly. “You said you didn’t want me to cheat on Nicole.”

“I don’t want you to cheat on her,” Eddie said as he rocked his hips against Steve. “I want you to leave her.” He leaned down, pressed his lips to Steve’s neck and again considered giving him a hickey. “I want you, baby,” he said. “I’ll fight for you if I have to. I’m not letting you go until you tell me you want me to walk away from you so you can marry her.”

“Eddie, baby,” Steve moaned. “Fuck, stop. You’re going to make me come.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time, would it?” He squeezed Steve’s dick once more then stood up, retrieved the joint he dropped, and sat back in his own chair as he relit it. “Tell me you want me to walk away.”

“I can’t,” Steve panted, still trying to catch his breath.

“Then at least tell me you want to marry Nicole.” Steve said nothing, just looked away. Eddie reached out, tapped his hand, and when he stole a glance at Eddie, he was holding the joint out to him. Steve took it and took a hit. “Do you want to marry her?”

“No,” Steve answered. “I don’t. I want you.”

They finished the joint in silence. Neither of them knew exactly what to say next. Eddie hadn’t thought past getting Steve to admit that he didn’t want to marry Nicole. And Steve hadn’t expected to say that out loud. Because, up until tonight, he had thought he wanted to marry her. He loved her. But he loved Eddie more. And given the choice, Steve knew that he’d always choose Eddie.

“I should get going,” Eddie said when the joint was gone. He stood up and Steve stood to face him. They stood face to face, chests touching. Steve fluttered his fingers against Eddie’s and Eddie tangled his with Steve’s. “Now what?”

“Don’t leave town quite yet.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Eddie whispered. They kissed again, softer, sweeter, less urgent this time. “I love you, Steve.”

“I love you too, baby.”

Steve walked Eddie to the front door, careful not to touch him or say anything that would give them away. Nicole watched them as she fought to hold back her tears. Steve and Eddie didn’t know she’d come outside when they were smoking. She hadn’t heard much, but she heard Eddie ask if Steve wanted to marry her. And she heard Steve’s answer. That was all she needed to hear.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Steve and Nicole didn’t speak to each other after Eddie left. Nicole was too hurt, and Steve was too distracted to notice. They just went about their own business. Nicole watched a movie and Steve held a Robert Ludlum novel in his hands, opened to some random page. But he wasn’t reading it. He was daydreaming. He didn’t even notice that the book was upside down on his lap as he absently flipped a page and thought about what he was going to do. He didn’t want to cheat on Nicole, though for all intents and purposes he already had. Even if he and Eddie had never touched each other, mentally he had already checked out on Nicole and was fully invested in Eddie. He needed to break up with her; he wanted to break up with her. But how much of an asshole would that make him? He couldn’t just tell her to move out. Where would she go? He couldn’t make her live in a motel. He could always give her the house and go back to California with Eddie. His house was huge, and he lived there all alone. There was plenty of room for Steve to move in. But was he getting ahead of himself? He and Eddie loved each other, sure. Sex was inevitable. Maybe. Was he getting ahead of himself on that too? Eddie had not mentioned them living together. And he hadn’t mentioned sex, not technically. He said he wanted Steve, but that could mean only as little as they had done together in the past. Just because Eddie’s trauma was more than twenty years in the past didn’t mean he had moved past it. He might still shy away from actual sex. Steve shook his head. He wasn’t thinking straight. There were too many things to think about, too many variables. The only thing he was sure of was that he loved Eddie. He would do whatever Eddie wanted him to do, have whatever kind of relationship Eddie wanted him to have. It was all up to Eddie. He just needed to talk to Eddie, a real, heartfelt conversation, just the two of them. Then he could make the decisions he knew needed to be made. Steve shut his book and looked over at Nicole. She was on the couch, her legs folded under her, her head against the back of the couch, her eyes closed. There was an empty wine glass in her hand and an empty bottle of white wine on the coffee table in front of her. That was odd. The bottle he’d opened for her at dinner was red wine. He vaguely remembered her finishing that bottle while they ate. He hadn’t noticed her open another bottle. Had she drunk the whole thing? She never drank that much wine. Steve laid his book aside and went over to the couch. He gently brushed Nicole’s hair back and she looked up at him. “You ready for bed?” She just nodded so Steve took her hand and pulled her up into his arms. “You know I love you, right?” “I know, Steve.” Her words were slow and deliberate, and she narrowed her eyes at him like she didn’t believe him. She was drunk. “I know.” She wiggled out of his arms and went to the bedroom. Steve turned off the television and lights, checked the front and back door to make sure they were locked, then went to the bedroom as well. When he got there, Nicole was lying on the bed, propped on her elbows, her legs slightly spread, and she was completely naked. She hooked a finger at him, motioned him closer. But Steve just stood there; he didn’t go to her. He couldn’t. As irrational as it felt, he couldn’t do that to Eddie. Eddie wouldn’t want him to. And besides, he didn’t really want Nicole. If he got in bed with her, it would be Eddie he was thinking about. And that wasn’t fair to anyone. “What are you doing?” “I want you, Steve,” she said. “Don’t you want me?” She spread her legs farther apart, slipped one hand between them. letting her fingers glide over her most sensitive spot. “You’re not going to make me do this all by myself, are you?” Steve dropped his eyes and wouldn’t look. “Baby, come feel how wet I am for you,” she moaned as she pushed a finger inside herself. “You’ll slide right in.” “You’re drunk.” “Maybe I am,” she answered. “You don’t have the market cornered on stupid, drunken behavior.” Steve raised his eyes to her. “Me being drunk just means I don’t care if you think about Eddie while you’re fucking me.” Steve’s eyes went wide. Did she really just say that? “Come on, baby. Fuck me. Use me. Do whatever you want. I won’t try and stop you. I don’t care.” “No.”  Steve turned and went into the bathroom. He closed and locked the door then leaned back against it and held his head in his hands. He’d never seen Nicole like this before. He couldn’t remember her ever drinking enough to get drunk. He wondered how much she had to drink tonight. He’d been so interested in Eddie that he hadn’t paid much attention to Nicole. He sighed. It was no wonder she was drunk. Steve had sat next to her at dinner and completely ignored her while swooning over Eddie. He was a complete asshole for treating her like that. He wasn’t putting any effort into their relationship at all. Until they figured out what was going to happen between them, he could at least pretend to care. Steve brushed his teeth and hair, then undressed before going back to the bedroom. Unfortunately, Nicole had passed out. Steve sighed as he lifted her and slid her under the covers then tucked her in securely. He stood over her, watching her sleep for several minutes. He couldn’t believe how so much had changed so quickly. It had been less than six weeks since Steve opened the envelope and seen Eddie’s signature, his name on the check. And now he was ready to disrupt his and Nicole’s lives for him. How did Eddie have that much power over him? How could he love someone so much that he barely knew? Nicole had been right about that. Steve sighed again and looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. He didn’t want to get in bed with Nicole. He didn’t want to sleep. He just wanted to talk to Eddie. Steve got dressed again, grabbed his keys and wallet, and left the house. He tried not to think of Nicole, innocently asleep in their bed, and he was on his way to a cheap motel to sleep with someone else. He was already cheating on Nicole; it just hadn’t gotten that . . . physical? . . . yet. He couldn’t say it wasn’t intimate, because although it wasn’t sex, he felt like his emotional bond with Eddie was far more intimate than any act of sex ever could be. So, why not go for broke? He was a cheater; he might as well make it official. Steve knocked on Eddie’s motel door. A minute later, the drapes over the window rustled as Eddie peeked out to see who it was, then the door opened, and Eddie was standing there, wearing just a pair of slim fitting sweatpants that left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Steve licked his lips as he let his eyes move over Eddie. From his unruly mop of bedhead curls and sleepy eyes, all the way to his bare feet, and everything in between. His eyes lingered on Eddie’s chest and stomach. They were well defined with sinewy muscles that he hadn’t had ten years ago. He was covered in tattoos that stopped just above his belly button. Below his belly button was a soft trail of dark hair that disappeared into the sweats. Steve licked his lips again as his eyes moved back up, trying to take in every detail of him in case he never got to see him this way again.  His eyes flitted up to Eddie’s but back down to his chest again. Something caught his eye and he let his eyes roam Eddie’s torso again, looking for whatever it was that had gotten his attention. Sure, the nipple rings were nice, but there was something else. But before he could find it, Eddie lifted a hand and reached for him. Steve’s eyes moved up to Eddie’s and they hesitated for only a split second before they were in each other’s arms, their lips crashed together.  Eddie pulled Steve into the room, reaching behind him to shove the door closed behind them. Then he was clawing at Steve’s clothes. He kicked out of his shoes while Eddie pulled his shirt off over his head then they were kissing again as Eddie’s hands found his belt. They fumbled together to get it unbuckled, then Eddie let Steve take over. He popped his button and lowered his zipper, then wrapped his arms around Eddie as Eddie pulled him back onto the bed and they landed on it, Steve on top of him.  Steve rose up, wedged his legs under Eddie, then slid his hands under him to cup his ass as their erections grazed each other, causing them both to whimper in lusty anticipation. Steve slid one hand up the cleft of Eddie’s ass, his fingers between his cheeks, stroking him through the thick fabric of the sweats he was wearing. And he also noticed Eddie had nothing under the sweats. That made his dick twitch in his jeans. He whimpered again and slid his fingers back down. Eddie arched up into him, but Steve also noticed that his entire body tensed. He pulled back, broke their kiss, but held Eddie in his arms and gazed lovingly into his eyes. “Stop.” Something in that word felt like Eddie was pouring his soul out to Steve. “I’m sorry,” Eddie whispered. “Don’t,” Steve whispered back. “I shouldn’t have touched you like that.” “I want you to,” Eddie said. “It’s just . . . Every person who’s ever touched me there . . .” He trailed off, his cheeks burning a bright red. Steve kissed him softly. “I understand, baby,” he told him. “I know. I won’t hurt you. Ever. I promise.” Eddie pulled away, sat up, pulled his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs. “Eddie?” “I’m not ready for that yet,” he said. “Give me some time.” Steve nodded. He understood. He had no interest in pressuring Eddie into something he wasn’t completely comfortable with. “Besides, you’re still with Nicole. You’d regret it if we had sex.” “Regret isn’t quite what I’d feel,” Steve laughed quietly. “I think it would be more like guilt. But I understand what you mean.” “You always were the nice guy.” “That’s what Robin always tells me.” Eddie smiled fondly at the mention of Robin’s name. She was one of the few people in high school who was nice to him. He knew her from band, and sometimes they’d talk or sit together at lunch. “Hey, come here.” He reached for Eddie. “I want to look at your tattoos.” “They’re mostly nerdy shit,” Eddie laughed as he lowered his legs and scooted closer to Steve on the bed. Steve took his hand and stroked it as he turned his arm this way and that, examining the sleeve of tattoos. “Horror movies.” Steve smiled. Eddie’s left arm was covered in the faces of horror movie villains, in full color, the spaces between the faces were covered in blood spatter. Regan and Pazuzu from The Exorcist , Jack from The Shining , Michael Myers, Dracula, David from The Lost Boys , Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein, Leatherface, Jason, Freddy Krueger, Norman Bates. They were all beautifully done, and Steve smiled up at Eddie. “You like them?” “I love them.” Eddie held out his right arm, the one that was tattooed in shades of black and gray. Steve looked closer and held back a laugh. “This is all Dungeons & Dragons stuff, isn’t it?” Eddie nodded and smiled proudly. “I see your Hellfire Club logo, the demon with the sword, mace, and dice.” “Not a mace,” Eddie said. “It’s a flail. A mace is just a striking head mounted on a club.” “I thought that was a morning star.” “A morning star is spiked, a mace is studded, and a flail is a spike ball on a chain attached to a club.” He pointed to the tattoo. “Like that.” “Well, I’m not up on my medieval weaponry, so you’ll have to forgive my faux pas.” Eddie laughed at that. “The dragons are beautiful. Why didn’t you get them in color? Lots of green and yellow and bright red flames would have been cool.” “I thought about it,” Eddie answered with a shrug. “But I liked the one arm being color and the other being black and white. My chest is a combination of both.” “Have any tattoos on your back?” Eddie turned so Steve could see his back. It was covered with a tattoo of a pair of torn and tattered black wings. Steve ran his hands over them. “These make you look like a fallen angel.” “That was kind of the point,” Eddie said as he turned back around. “Fallen angel or a demon. Either works. Beaten and broken, but still able to fly.” “Is that how you see yourself?” Eddie didn’t answer. “I like them.” He then remembered that something on Eddie’s chest had caught his attention. He put a hand on either side of Eddie’s ribs and pulled him closer. “Come here, baby.” Eddie let Steve position him on his lap and he ran his hands over Eddie’s skin, examining his tattoos, looking for something. Finally, he saw it. Just below Eddie’s left nipple were the letters SH . He covered it with his thumb; it was that small, then looked up at Eddie. Eddie was watching him intently. “How long have you had this?” “About five years.” Steve moved his thumb, leaned in, and placed his lips over the tattoo. He kissed it, then flicked his tongue over it, then moved his mouth up to Eddie’s pierced nipple. Eddie arched into him as he took the nipple and the ring into his mouth and sucked on it, teased it with his tongue. Eddie moaned and tangled his hands into Steve’s hair. “With all this hair,” he said softly. “You’re so fucking sexy. I love you with long hair.” “I was considering cutting it,” Steve laughed. “Nicole isn’t the biggest fan. But if you like it, I’ll keep it.” “Yes,” Eddie laughed as he gave his hair a playful tug. He liked the idea of Steve keeping his hair long if it annoyed Nicole. As petty as that made him. “Keep it. For me.” “So, what made you get my initials?” “When I got this tattoo,” Eddie said as he ran his hand across the word Banished that stretched across his abdomen, just above his belly button, in thick, gothic lettering. “I had gone in with the intention of getting Steve tattooed across there.” This time Steve ran his hand over the word. “But at the last minute I changed my mind. I was fairly sure you hated me at that point. It was the first tattoo I got after moving out to California.” He laid his hand over Steve’s on his stomach. “Then, about five years ago, when I was getting this one . . .” Eddie pointed to a Dio tattoo on his rib cage. “. . . the tattooist noticed a little empty spot under my nipple. He was kind of joking about filling it in. But I told him to just put a little SH there.” “Was that before or after you got your nipples pierced?” “After.” Steve caught his nipple again and sucked it softly, playing with the hoop through it with his tongue. “You like pierced nipples?” “I like your nipples,” Steve laughed. “But yeah, the piercings are sexy. Kind of dangerous, you know? Erotic.” Steve leaned back against the headboard, pulled Eddie with him, and laid him on his chest. They wrapped their arms around each other, and Eddie snuggled into Steve. “I read that people get their nipples pierced for sexual purposes.” Eddie nodded against him as he twirled his fingers in his chest hair. “So, why’d you get yours done?” “Honestly,” Eddie sighed. “Because I thought Axl Rose’s looked so fucking hot.” “You think Axl Rose is hot?” “Fuck yeah,” Eddie said emphatically. “Have you looked at the man? The way he runs around in those little spandex shorts and no shirt?” They both laughed. “He’s got a great ass.” “Yeah, I guess he does.” “Want to know who else I think is hot?” “Let me guess.” Steve thought for a long moment. “James Hetfield.” “Well, shit,” Eddie laughed. “That’s a given, man. I mean, James Hetfield is God.” He sighed dreamily and Steve tightened his arms around him. “But no. I was going to say Rachel Bolan.” Steve shook his head. He didn’t know who that was. “Bass player for Skid Row. And Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue. Tom Araya from Slayer. Duff McKagan from Guns n’ Roses. Kelly Nickels from LA Guns. And of course, Cliff Burton from Metallica. Before he died, of course.” Eddie stopped and tilted his head back to look up at Steve. “Shit. I think I might have a thing for bass players.” “Do I need to learn to play bass,” Steve asked, stroking Eddie’s arm as he held him. “Nah, I think you’re hotter than all of them.” He turned his head and kissed Steve’s chest. “Just don’t cut off the hair. Or shave. I like you hairy.”“Whatever you want me to do, baby.” They were quiet for several minutes while they both thought. Steve knew what he wanted to talk about with Eddie, but he was afraid to broach the subject because he didn’t know exactly what Eddie wanted. Except he did. Eddie hadn’t beaten around the bush. He wanted Steve and Nicole to break up so they could be together. “Eddie, if Nicole and I were no longer together, what exactly are you looking for?” “Going to lay it all on me,” Eddie asked with a chuckle. “Make me out to be the bad guy? The homewrecker?” “No, baby. I’m the one who wrecked my home,” Steve answered. “You’re not culpable in that.” “Would you believe that I haven’t really given it much thought?” Steve laughed softly. He could believe that. He tended to overthink things. Maybe Eddie was the exact opposite. He didn’t think things through. “I mean, I want to . . . I want us to be together. I want you to not be with that woman.” Eddie suddenly pulled away from Steve, sat up, then crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him. “Does she always talk to you the way she did tonight at dinner?” “How was she talking to me?” “She called you stupid,” Eddie huffed. “She talked to you like you were a child. Especially after she finished that first bottle of wine.” He relaxed and stopped glaring. “Did you not notice?” “I was too focused on you,” Steve answered. “But I know what you’re talking about. She can get that way sometimes. She doesn’t mean anything by it.” “Don’t defend her,” Eddie said. “She does mean something by it. It was obvious from what I saw tonight that she’s not happy in Hawkins, or with you. She wants you to alter your life to suit what will make her happy. You’re not enough for her being a middle school guidance counselor in some podunk Indiana town.” “I think you’re wrong, Eddie.” “I’m not going to argue the point with you,” Eddie said. “You obviously love her in some way. I just think that you could do so much better.” “Like you?” He meant it as a joke, but he saw the momentary hurt flash in Eddie’s eyes. “I’m sorry, baby.” “Why didn’t you ever date another guy after me?” “Because no one could ever hold a candle to you,” Steve sighed. “Being with a guy just made me think of you. Being with a woman, I could forget about you. It didn’t hurt so much.” “Did Nicole know you were bisexual when you asked her to marry you?” “Yeah. She’s always known. Since middle school. She knew about me and Tommy.” “Have you ever . . .” Eddie paused. He pulled his knees up again and laid his head on them, looking away from Steve. “Do you . . .” He stopped again and Steve laid a hand on his back. “Never mind. It’s nothing. I’ll just sound like an idiot.” “Ask me.” Steve smoothed Eddie’s hair out on his back and shoulders with his fingers as he waited for Eddie to think about what he was trying to ask. Finally, Eddie sighed heavily. “When you were with Tommy, did you . . . or did he . . .?” He let the question hang in the air. He really felt stupid asking. It didn’t matter. He was simply curious because he’d never willingly had sex with another guy, except for messing around with Steve. “You want to know which of us topped and which bottomed.” Eddie shrugged. “We tried both,” Steve said. “And we learned that he preferred being a bottom. I liked being a top, though I’m open to both.” “Oral?” “I like both giving and receiving,” Steve answered. “Depends on the guy.” “With Tommy?” “Both.” “Were you with other guys?” “Eddie, is there something specific you want to know?” Steve didn’t mind answering questions about his past sexual experiences, but he could tell Eddie was trying to get at something, he just didn’t know what. “Whatever it is, you can just ask. I promise not to get upset or offended.” “Promise not to laugh,” Eddie said softly. “I swear to you, baby. I won’t laugh.” “How many guys have you had sex with?” The question was whispered, and Steve thought he heard some fear in Eddie’s voice. “I’ve been with three guys,” Steve said. “I mean, had actual sex, intercourse. Giving and receiving with all three, though mostly giving. There was oral sex with all three. Again, giving and receiving, but more evenly on that. And with one of them, there was anilingus. Both giving and receiving.” “Three guys and me?” Steve nodded. “So, you’re not super experienced.” He sounded relieved. “I’ve slept with more women than I have guys,” Steve said. “I’m not super experienced with guys, no. But I know how to not hurt you. And most importantly, I know how to make you feel good.” “What if I’m not good at it?” Steve forced himself not to laugh. Not that it was funny, but because he thought it was so cute and sweet the way Eddie was so afraid he’d disappoint Steve. He put his arms around Eddie and pulled him closer. “Or what if I don’t like it?” “I’ll never ask you to do anything you don’t like,” Steve said. “And if you’re not good at it, you’ll get better with practice. Or we can just not do whatever you don’t like. It’s up to you Eddie.” He kissed the top of Eddie’s head. “What are we going to do?” “I’ve been thinking,” Eddie began slowly. “There’s nothing keeping me in California. I have no ties there. I want to move back here, to be closer to you. But you have Nicole. I don’t like her, I wish she wasn’t a part of your life, and I hate like hell that you love her. But I would never ask you to just kick her out.” “I’ve been trying to find a way around that,” Steve told him. “I thought about going to California with you.” “You can’t do that,” Eddie said. “You made it clear at dinner that you love your job and don’t want to walk away from it.” Steve nodded. That was true. But he would leave it for Eddie. “And there’s your parents to consider.” “So, if Nicole walked away . . .” “I’d marry you if it was legal,” Eddie told him. “But since it’s not, I’ll move in with you, if you’ll have me. I could get an apartment otherwise.” “Uh-uh,” Steve laughed. “You’ll move in with me. I need you close.” “But Nicole?” “Yeah,” Steve sighed. “I’m not a mean person. I can’t be cruel. I guess I should just tell her what I want, and let her decide what happens next?” “What if she refuses to let go and leave?” “Then we go to California.” Eddie smiled. He didn’t care where they were together, as long as they were together. “Tell me about your life in California,” Steve said. “I write, I ride my motorcycle, and sometimes I surf.” “Will you teach me to surf?” “Fuck yeah,” Eddie laughed. “Man, there is no better way to clear your mind and take control of your own destiny. Surfing truly frees you. I tried meditating, but I couldn’t concentrate. But when I surf, it’s like I just become one with the ocean and it’s the most calming meditation there is.” He peeked up at Steve with a quirky little smile. “Surfing gets me hard.” That idea intrigued Steve. Now he really wanted to learn to surf. They crawled under the blankets together and held each other while they talked about California. Steve was convinced, listening to Eddie talk, that California is where they belonged. Or it was where Eddie belonged. He seemed to be in love with the beaches and the ocean and the sunshine. And wherever Eddie belonged was where Steve wanted and needed to be. It was closing in on four in the morning when Steve eventually fell asleep listening to Eddie talk. And Eddie was asleep within minutes of Steve. Eddie slept with a smile on his face and Steve slept peacefully and more soundly than he had in years. Having Eddie back in his arms was all he needed.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Nicole may have woken up with her first hangover ever, but she was alert enough to realize she was in bed alone. She sat up, listening for signs of Steve, but she heard nothing. His side of the bed didn’t look like anyone had slept there. He probably slept on the couch after she’d made a fool of herself. She might have been drunk, but she remembered begging Steve to use her. She could get him back. She knew she could. She just needed to get Steve into bed and remind him of all the things he loved about her.

Nicole got up, wrapped a silky blue robe around her, then went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and hair and take some aspirin. She would just go downstairs, find Steve sleeping on the couch, and if he woke up with her going down on him, there’s no way he’d make her stop. He was a man. There’s no way he’d turn down a blow job.

But she didn’t find him on the couch. He wasn’t in the house at all. Nor was he on the back deck smoking. She looked out and his car was gone. Steve never got up and went anywhere this early in the morning. Especially not a Monday morning when he was on summer vacation. It didn’t take much for her to figure out where he was. He was with Eddie; she would bet money on that.

So, Nicole took a shower and got ready for work. As she made coffee and toast, she kept thinking about Steve leaving her passed out to go be with Eddie. She knew she was losing him, but she hated to think that he’d done something like that. He could have at least left a note, so she didn’t have to worry. And though it didn’t really matter, or so she tried to tell herself anyway, she made a slight detour on the way to work and went to the motel where Eddie was staying. She wasn’t surprised to see Steve’s car parked next to the rental Eddie was driving. She parked next to the cars, got out, and laid a hand on the hood of Steve’s car. It was cold. He’d obviously been here for quite a while. He probably spent the night. They’d probably had sex and now Nicole had lost Steve for good.

She got back in her car and headed for Hawkins National Labs. The last place she wanted to be was at work. Her heart was broken, and she wanted to cry, but she put on a brave face and just went to work and tried not to think about what Steve and Eddie had been doing all night. It was driving her crazy and by the time she took a break to get a cup of coffee mid-morning, she was distraught. She grabbed a cup of coffee and stepped outside into the courtyard where the smokers took their breaks and called Dustin. She told him about Eddie coming for dinner, about how he was so rude to her, focusing all his attention on Steve. She told him how Steve had ignored her as well. They were so lost in each other, she might as well not even have been there. Then she told him about Steve leaving and spending the night with Eddie.

By the time she was done, Nicole was in tears and Dustin was fuming. Steve could be a real bonehead sometimes, but to just treat Nicole this way, to cheat on her like this, it wasn’t Steve. That’s not the kind of person he was. If he was being so hurtful to Nicole, it must be under the influence of Eddie. Dustin hated to believe that Eddie would encourage Steve to cheat on his fiancé, but he didn’t really know Eddie. They had been friends ten years ago. A lot had changed since then. Eddie could most definitely be a bad influence on Steve. Dustin had no trouble seeing that.

What Dustin did have trouble with was getting Steve to see him as an adult. He didn’t listen to Dustin, didn’t take advice given with Steve’s best interests at heart. He’d known Steve since he was ten. Steve never took him seriously. If he planned to have a talk with Steve, if he expected Steve to pay even the slightest attention to anything he had to say, he was going to need help, an ally. So, he called Robin as he drove to Indianapolis.

He and Robin made plans for him to pick her up and they’d drive to Hawkins together, then they’d go find Steve and have a talk with him. Steve would listen to Robin. She was the only one he would listen to. Even Nicole knew that, though Nicole would never call Robin on her own, because though she knew Steve loved Robin, she didn’t quite like her. She claimed to be a lesbian, but Nicole was never sure if that was true or just something she said so people would leave her alone with her books. Steve once told her that she was being ridiculous about Robin, but Nicole didn’t care. She never trusted Robin a hundred percent.

It took Dustin some convincing to get Robin to take the afternoon off, but once he explained everything Nicole told him, Robin agreed. Someone needed to talk some sense into Steve. One thing they realized as they tried to make a game plan on the drive from Indianapolis, they disagreed on the subject matter at hand. Robin thought that Steve should try to make things work with Eddie. Dustin thought Steve should send Eddie away and marry Nicole. By the time they got to Hawkins, they were no longer on speaking terms with each other.

**********

Steve opened his front door and almost laughed when he saw Dustin and Robin. They were standing as far apart as they could, practically with their backs to each other, and they both looked angry. He stepped back and let them inside, wondering what they were doing there. Dustin was on summer break, and it wasn’t uncommon for him to just show up sometimes. But Robin never just showed up. She was a planner and if she was going to drive ninety miles to see him, she would have called, made sure he’d be home, schedule a time. That was how she was. Besides, she hated missing work. She had to have a damned good reason to take a Monday afternoon off. And that was when Steve realized that Nicole must have called one or both of them. It never failed. When Steve and Nicole fought, depending on what they were fighting about, she always called Dustin or Robin, or his mother.

“So, what did Nic tell you,” Steve asked as he led them into the kitchen. “Either of you want coffee or something?”

“No thank you,” Robin said.

“Tell me that Nicole has this whole thing wrong.”

“What whole thing,” Steve asked. “What exactly did she say?”

“She said that you’re cheating on her,” Robin told him. “With Eddie.”

“She’s not wrong.” Dustin’s mouth fell open and he stared at Steve like he’d sprouted horns. “I did spend the night with him last night.”

“Are you crazy, Steve?” Dustin flopped into a chair at the kitchen table and sighed. “First, I cannot believe you’d cheat on Nicole. You’re not that guy.”

“You’re the nice guy, remember,” Robin asked as she sat down with Dustin. Steve just stood at the center island and leaned against the counter. “You would never have sex with someone else while you were with Nicole.”

“Like I said,” Steve began. “She’s not wrong about me cheating. But it’s not like she’s making it out to be.”

“So, you’re not fucking Eddie Munson?” Steve shook his head in response to Dustin’s question. “Then what are you doing with him? Nicole said you told him you didn’t want to marry her. Since when, Steve? You wanted to marry her until that asshole came crashing back into your life.”

“Hey, who you calling asshole,” Eddie laughed as he walked into the room. He stopped next to Steve and leaned into him as he smiled at Dustin and Robin. “Damn, Henderson. You grew up.” Then he turned to Robin. “How’s it hanging, Buckley?”

“It’s nice to see you,” Robin replied.

“Stop with the pleasantries,” Dustin practically shouted. “Why are you here?” He glared at Eddie. “And yeah. I called you an asshole.”

“You know,” Eddie said, leaning closer to Steve, whispering loud enough for Dustin and Robin to hear. “There was a time I’d have kicked his ass for talking to me like that.”

“I’d like to see you try that now,” Steve whispered back, trying not to laugh. “He’s not so little anymore.”

“That’s right,” Dustin said angrily. “I’m bigger than you now. You couldn’t kick my ass if you tried.” Eddie covered his mouth with his hand and he and Steve both laughed. “See what I mean,” Dustin asked Robin as he motioned angrily to Steve and Eddie. “He acts like I’m still a kid and never takes me seriously.”

“Well, it doesn’t help that at twenty-five, your voice goes up three octaves and cracks like you’re still in the middle of puberty when you get upset or excited.” Dustin opened his mouth to protest, but he knew she was right, and he didn’t want to prove it by yelling at her in a squeaky voice, so he said nothing. Robin stood up and went to stand with Steve and Eddie. Steve smiled and put an arm over each of their shoulders. “Like I told you in the car, I’m on Steve’s side in this.” She stole a sideways glance at Steve and Eddie. “Not real crazy about the cheating part though.”

“We’re not sleeping together,” Eddie said softly. “I don’t want him to cheat on that bitch . . .”

“Hey!” Dustin slammed his hands on the table and glared at Eddie again. Eddie held his hands up in surrender. “Don’t call her that.”

“Sorry,” Eddie said, but more to Steve than to Dustin. “I don’t want him to cheat on Nicole. No more than he already is.”

“I don’t understand,” Dustin sighed. “Either you’re cheating on her or not. Which is it?”

“Technically, I am,” Steve said. “We aren’t having sex. But there are other ways to be unfaithful. Like, I shouldn’t keep kissing Eddie.” Eddie tilted his head back and Steve kissed him gently. “But I did tell Eddie that I don’t want to marry Nicole. And I’ve been emotionally unfaithful to her. So, yes. I am cheating on Nicole. I’m just not having sex.”

“That may be even worse.”

“It is,” Robin replied. Dustin was right. What Steve and Eddie were doing was far worse than if they were just having sex. “Steve, you can’t do this. You have to make up your mind and let Nicole go.”

“I’ve made up my mind,” Steve said, and Eddie smiled up at him. “I made up my mind last night. I’m just waiting for Nicole to get home.”

“Then why is he still here?” Dustin made a flippant motion toward Eddie. “Make him leave.” He turned to face Eddie. “Go back to California. You didn’t want to be here, and you ran away. You left all your friends behind; you didn’t even say goodbye. So, just go back to wherever you came from and leave us alone. We moved on and we were happy without you. We don’t need you in our lives.” Dustin turned and walked out of the room.

“Eddie, I’m sorry,” Steve stammered, stunned by Dustin’s words.

“I’ll get him.” Robin pulled away from Steve, but Eddie caught her hand.

“Let me,” he said. Steve started to protest, but Eddie stopped him with a quick kiss. “I’ve got him.” Steve nodded, so Eddie went after Dustin. He was on the back deck, staring off into the distance, his breathing was heavy, and his hands were balled into fists at his sides. “Hey, kid, I don’t . . .”

Dustin turned suddenly, one hand coming up and swinging through the air until it connected squarely with Eddie’s jaw. Eddie’s head snapped to one side and his hair fell to cover his face. It had been a long time since anyone had hit him. Tommy Hagan had been the last one, the day his family moved away. He had kicked Eddie’s ass one last time, just for good measure. And now, just like back then, Eddie let his instinctively clenched fists relax, he took a deep breath, and he raised his head to meet Dustin’s eyes. Dustin swung again, but this time Eddie saw it coming. He caught Dustin’s fist in his hand and held it tightly.

“Let go of me, asshole.”

“Are you going to hit me again?”

“Maybe.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Dustin wrenched his fist out of Eddie’s grasp. “What the hell do you mean, why?”

“Why are you going to hit me again,” Eddie asked slowly.

“Because you . . . Because I . . . Just because, damn it!” And he did. Dustin pulled back his fist and swung at Eddie again. This time he got him right in the nose. Eddie saw stars as blood gushed from his nose. He cupped both hands over it and doubled over in pain. “Because you left me without saying goodbye,” Dustin whispered softly.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie managed to croak through the blood.

“Shit,” Dustin sighed as he watched Eddie stumble towards a chair to sit down, his head rested on his knees. Dustin went to him and touched his shoulder. “Put your head back,” he said. “If you stay bent over like that, you’ll keep bleeding.” Eddie sat up and leaned back as Dustin got closer so he could examine his nose. “It’s not broken,” he told Eddie.

“Ah, who cares,” Eddie chuckled painfully as he pinched his nose closed. “Not like this is the first time I’ve been socked in the face.”

“I really wanted to break your arm,” Dustin said. “But I don’t want to impede your ability to write, so I decided to go for the ol’ schnoz instead.”

“Thank you,” Eddie answered. “Though the next book is already done. So, if you still want to break my arm, I’ll let you.”

“Pssh! What good would it do now,” he asked as he sat down at the table with Eddie. “You’ve taken all the fun out of it by agreeing to it.”

“So, you’ve read my books?” Dustin nodded. “I always hoped you’d come across them someday.”

“I didn’t come across them,” Dustin told him. “Steve sent them to me after he got back from California.”

“There’s a dwarf cleric in book three called Olsnogtwaerfayn.” Dustin froze and stared at Eddie. “But the king just calls him Nog.”

“You used my character?”

“I hope it’s okay,” Eddie said. “If not, you can punch me again.”

“Again, no fun if you’re letting me do it.” He watched Eddie wipe a sleeve across his nose. “I’m sorry.” Eddie nodded slowly. “Please go home and leave Steve and Nicole alone.”

“I will,” Eddie said. “If Steve wants me to. But I’m not going to do it for your sake. I love him too much.”

“He was happy before you reached out,” Dustin replied. “Can’t you just let him be happy again?”

“I am happy.” They both looked back at Steve and Robin as they came outside. Then Steve noticed the blood on Eddie’s face. He rushed to him, dropped to his knees next to his chair, and held Eddie’s face in his hands. “Baby, are you okay? What happened?”

“Little shithead hit me,” Eddie laughed. “He wants me to go away and leave you alone.”

“That’s not happening,” Steve said over his shoulder to Dustin. “If Eddie goes, I go.”

“What about Nicole?” The men all turned to Robin. “Is Nicole happy?”

“Someone’s going to end up hurt, no matter what,” Steve said. He let go of Eddie, pulled out a chair for Robin, then sat down next to Eddie when she was seated. “If Eddie leaves and I stay with Nic, she might be happy, but I won’t be.”

“Neither would I,” Eddie added.

“If Nic and I break up, Eddie and I will be happy, but she won’t.” He reached out and took Eddie’s hand. “Heartbreak is inevitable. I hate to say it, but it’s true. And even though this is going to sound selfish, I don’t want to be the one who gets hurt. I want to be happy. I’m truly sorry that it’s going to hurt Nicole, but that’s just the way it has to be.”

“So, you’re just going to throw your fiancé out on the street when she gets home from work,” Dustin asked, no longer sounding angry, but still upset.

“No,” Eddie answered. “Steve is going to give her time to make preparations.”

“I’m going to go back to California with Eddie,” Steve said.

“No, you can’t move to California,” Robin interrupted.

“That’s out of the question,” Dustin added.

“We need you here.”

“What would we do without our best friend?”

“Isn’t there some other way?”

“Please don’t go.”

“Whoa,” Steve laughed. “Slow down, guys. It’s only temporary.”

“I want to move back to Hawkins,” Eddie told them. “We’re just going to California to give Nicole time to make other arrangements, find somewhere to live, whatever she needs to do.”

“Without us in her face all the time,” Steve continued. “Just making it worse for her. This way, she can take her time and she doesn’t have to rush anything.”

“Besides, I do have a life in California that I have to wind down.” Eddie wiped his nose on his sleeve again. The blood had stopped but it was still sore. “I’ve got a house to sell, a motorcycle to get from there to here.”

“I still think you should teach me to ride, then I can buy one and we can ride back together.” Eddie squeezed Steve’s hand in his. “And Robin, before you go spastic, I’m kidding about the motorcycle. I don’t want to learn to ride.”

“Thank god,” Robin sighed. “I was about to have you committed if you were planning on riding one of those death traps across the country.”

“Excuse me?” They all turned to Dustin. “So, that’s it? You’re going to break up with Nicole and run away with Eddie?”

“It’s not permanent,” Steve answered.

“Besides, don’t you want me gone,” Eddie asked. “It seems like you’ll be happy once I’m not around anymore.”

“I just want my friends to be happy,” Dustin said. “And Nicole is my friend.” Steve gave Dustin a pleading look. “All right, fine. I get it. I don’t agree with it, but I get it.” He turned his attention back to Eddie. “I’m sorry I hit you. And I’m sorry for being a butthead. But Steve’s not the only one who got hurt when you left.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” Eddie told him. “I promise.”

“Come up to Purdue and play D&D with me and my friends?” Eddie looked skeptical at that. “After I read your books, I showed them to my club and, can you believe it, they had all read them. How did I not know about these books sooner?”

“Because your nose is always buried in a textbook,” Robin laughed. “You never read fiction.”

“When do you play,” Eddie asked.

“Wednesday evenings,” Dustin answered. “None of us have classes after noon on Wednesdays.”

“Yeah, I’m sure I can make it up there. If Steve doesn’t mind.” He lifted Steve’s hand and kissed it.

“I don’t mind at all.” Steve looked down at his watch. “I need to get dinner started,” he said. “Nic will be home in a while.”

“I doubt she’s going to have an appetite after you break up with her,” Robin said. “But good idea to have it ready, just in case.”

“Come on, baby.” Steve stood and pulled Eddie to his feet.

“That’s so weird,” Dustin said, making a face as he stood up and put his arm around Robin, who was also standing now. “The way he calls Eddie

baby

. I’m never going to get used to that.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Robin answered with a grin. “Eddie, what do you call Steve?”

“Hmm, let me think.” He took a step back and looked Steve over from head to toe. He gazed longingly at his long hair spread over his strong, broad shoulders, his arms, his chest, his hips, the bulge in the front of his jeans. “Big boy,” Eddie said, licking his lips.

“Ew! Gross!” Dustin pretended to gag.

“Okay, I’m sorry I asked,” Robin laughed.

“You’re awful, baby.” Steve dropped a kiss on Eddie’s forehead. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up before you go back to the motel.”

Dustin and Robin stayed while Steve cleaned the dried blood off Eddie’s face. His nose would be sore and bruised for a while, but there was no permanent damage. Dustin apologized again as Steve and Eddie walked them to the front door. They all said goodbye, then Dustin and Robin left. Steve pushed the door closed and backed Eddie into it. Eddie slid his arms around Steve’s waist, and they lost themselves in a kiss that lingered for several minutes.

“Call me after,” Eddie whispered.

“I’ll see you after,” Steve told him. “She’s not going to want me here. And I’m not sleeping on the couch when I can come sleep with you in my arms again.”

“I’ll wait up for you.”

“I won’t be late.” They kissed again and Eddie left.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Steve made dinner, pork chops with mashed sweet potatoes and sautéed green beans; Nicole’s favorite meal. Then he went to pack a bag while he waited for Nicole to get home. He was just coming out of the bedroom, duffle bag in hand, when Nicole came in the front door. She smiled when she saw Steve, but the smile faded quickly when she noticed the bag he was carrying. She’d been ecstatic when she pulled into the driveway to see that Eddie’s car was not there. Steve was home, waiting for her. And she could smell the pork chops as she got close to the front door. She’d thought Steve was making her favorite meal to apologize. But now she could see that she was wrong.

“Is that for me or you,” she asked.

“It’s mine,” Steve told her. “Come eat dinner. We need to talk.”

“Oh, we’re going to talk?” Steve nodded. “Is this going to be a real discussion? Or are you just going to tell me you’re leaving me?”

“I’m going to California with Eddie for a while,” Steve said. “You can stay in the house until you decide what you’re going to do and find a place of your own.” Steve felt an ache in his heart as tears started rolling down Nicole’s face. “School starts on September third, so I’ll have to be back by then. But that gives you two months.”

“Steve, please don’t do this,” Nicole sobbed. “What about Paris? What about our wedding?”

“I never really wanted to get married at Christmas,” Steve said gently. “And I hate France.” Steve reached for her, and she allowed him to take her into his arms. “Nicole, I never wanted to hurt you. But I love him. I love him so much.” She sobbed harder against his chest. “I always have, and I always will.” He kissed the top of her head softly. “I’m so sorry, Nic.”

He led her into the kitchen and sat her at the table before fixing her a plate of food. She didn’t eat though; she just held her face in her hands and cried. Steve made himself a plate of food and sat across from her. He watched her cry as he ate. Though he really had no appetite himself. What he was doing hurt him. It was what he wanted, but it still hurt him to know that he was hurting Nicole. He did love her, but it was different. He’d never loved her enough. He knew that now. Because even when he tried to pretend Eddie didn’t exist, deep inside, his love had always been reserved for Eddie. He knew now that he could never give anyone else his heart completely. Only Eddie.

“What can I do, baby,” Nicole sobbed. “Please. Don’t leave. I’ll do anything for you. There has to be something that would make you stay.” She lifted her head and dropped her hands, her eyes wide as an idea struck her. “What if we had a baby? Let’s have a baby, Steve. Please? Send him away and we can have a baby, okay? You’d stay if I was pregnant, wouldn’t you?”

“Nicole, don’t,” Steve said softly. “We don’t have a child. Let’s not play the what if game.”

“But you want children,” she said, pleading with her eyes. “You said you wanted to wait a few years, but you said we’d have children someday. Eddie can’t give you a child. I can.”

“Would I like to have kids someday,” Steve asked rhetorically. “Yeah, if that’s what Eddie wants. And if he does, when the time comes, we can adopt.”

“You’re being stupid, Steve,” Nicole spat at him. Steve froze as her demeanor changed from grief to anger in a heartbeat. “No one is going to let a couple of fags adopt an innocent baby.”

“Don’t call me stupid,” Steve said, his voice low and menacing. “And don’t use that word.”

“What word,” Nicole asked although she knew perfectly well what word Steve meant. “It’s what you are. Two men having sex. It’s disgusting.” She shook her head angrily. “It’s immoral and perverted. How can you be so stupid?”

“Stop.” Steve pushed back his chair and stood up. He planted his hands on his hips and glared down at Nicole. “Call me stupid one more time,” he growled. “I fucking dare you.” Nicole said nothing, she just cowered in her chair, suddenly afraid of Steve. “You’ve always known that I’m queer. I’m glad to finally know what you thought of me all these years. Maybe I am immoral, disgusting, and perverted. But I’m not stupid. And I’m tired of you telling me I am.”

“Steve, baby, please.” He watched her demeanor change again. Grief hadn’t worked, neither had anger. Now she was switching to . . . Pity, maybe, judging by the look in her eyes. “What am I supposed to do without you? You’re just going to leave me? What about me, baby? What am I going to do?”

“Why don’t you move to Chicago,” Steve asked. “You can put in for a transfer to Argonne. Now I’m not holding you back. Go do all the things you’ve always wanted to do, Nicole.” He stepped away from the table. “But do it before I get back from California.”

“And If I’m still here when you get back?”

“Don’t make me have to answer that.” Steve left the kitchen, grabbed his duffel bag, then headed for Eddie’s motel.

**********

When Eddie let Steve into the motel room, Steve was barely through the door before he pulled Eddie into his arms and just held him, forcing himself not to cry over Nicole. He knew he was doing the right thing for himself and Eddie, he just hated that someone had to be hurt. As much as he hated to admit it though, he would much rather Nicole be hurt than Eddie. He felt bad for Nicole and everything he was putting her through, but he could never do that to Eddie. Even if it meant hurting himself in the process.

Eddie held Steve tightly, stroked his hair and back, and after a few minutes, he started talking. He told Eddie everything that had been said between him and Nicole, and when he was done, Eddie was pissed. He no longer regretted calling her a bitch earlier, no matter how Dustin reacted to it. She was a bitch. And if he ever saw her face to face again, he planned to tell her as much. How dare she call Steve stupid? He had a few other choice words he’d like to call her as well, but he bit his tongue. It wouldn’t help Steve any for Eddie to shit talk Nicole. He did still love her in some way, and Eddie was well aware of that.

Steve pulled out of Eddie’s arms and scooted up on the bed, then motioned Eddie closer. Eddie crawled up next to him and Steve laid back, pulling Eddie with him, so Eddie’s head was on his chest. They lay in silence for a long time while Steve thought about a future with Eddie instead of Nicole, and Eddie thought about the only future he’d ever wanted with Steve.

“By the way,” Eddie whispered after a while. “I’m totally down for adopting kids.” He tilted his head back and smiled up at Steve. “I want at least ten. A portion of the proceeds from all U.S. sales of my books goes to an organization that tries to find stable homes for abused children.”

“That’s an amazing thing for you to do.” They kissed softly. “And maybe we can discuss the number of kids later.” Eddie laughed at that. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, big boy.” This time Steve laughed. “And speaking of which, be right back.” Eddie hopped out of bed and disappeared around the corner before the bathroom and closet light came on. Steve could hear him moving around and wondered what he was doing. As if Eddie was reading his thoughts, he peeked around the corner at him and smiled. “Patience.”

When Eddie came back around the corner, Steve froze, and his eyes went wide. Eddie was completely naked. Steve groaned and covered his quickly growing erection with his hands. Eddie had something in one hand, but Steve couldn’t tear his eyes away from Eddie’s body long enough to try and see what it was. Eddie stood next to the bed, dropping whatever he was holding onto the nightstand, then smiled seductively at Steve. Steve sat up and quickly started undressing. Eddie stood over him, watching every inch of skin as it became exposed. He wrapped his hand around his own erection and stroked gently as he watched. When Steve was naked as well, Eddie crawled onto the bed with him, then straddled him, one knee on either side of his hips.

“I’m not sure what you have in mind,” Steve said huskily. “But I like where it’s going.”

“It’s not cheating anymore,” Eddie said as he wrapped his hand around Steve’s dick and stroked it. His movements were gentle and tentative. It had been so long, but Steve felt familiar in his hand, and he liked it. “I’m ready to lose my virginity.” Steve sat up and pulled Eddie against his chest. “I want you, Steve.”

“As much as I want to just flip you over and fuck you senseless, I can’t.” Eddie squeezed his dick and he whimpered softly. “It would hurt you and probably turn you off of sex forever.”

“Then what do we do?”

“We need condoms,” Steve said. “And lubrication.” Eddie nodded towards the nightstand. There was a bottle of lube and a handful of condoms on the table. That’s what he’d been carrying. “Where’d you get those?”

“Bought them on the way back here,” Eddie said. “I knew this is what I wanted.”

“Are you absolutely sure you’re ready?” Eddie nodded eagerly. So, Steve sat Eddie on his thighs then reached for the items on the table. He tore open a condom and surprised Eddie when he started rolling it onto Eddie’s erection instead of his own. “I want you to take me first,” he whispered. “It’s been a long time, so don’t be too rough.”

“Steve, I don’t know how . . .” Steve stopped him with a kiss.

“You’ve watched porn, haven’t you?” Eddie nodded. “You know what to do. Just use the lube and go slow.”

“Okay.” He went up on his knees. “How do you want . . . get on your hands and knees?”

“No, baby.” Steve put an arm around Eddie and pulled him down on top of him as he laid back. He spread his legs and let Eddie get between them, then wrapped one leg around Eddie, coaxing him closer. “Like this. So I can see you.”

Eddie picked up the lube and squirted some into his hand before slicking it over his erection. Then he reached under Steve’s raised hips and let his fingers trail over Steve’s opening. Steve caught his bottom lip in his teeth and moaned softly as Eddie’s lube slicked fingers glided over him. Eddie spent a couple of minutes just stroking Steve’s ass, applying a little pressure with each pass over his hole. Steve rotated his hips, pushed them down towards Eddie’s hand. He wanted more. Eddie looked up into his eyes, could see what he wanted, so Eddie applied a bit more lube, then he pushed his middle finger inside Steve. Steve moaned loudly, lustily, letting Eddie’s name drip from his lips.

Eddie slid his finger in and out of Steve’s ass. He twisted and curled it, pushed in deep, then slid it slowly back. After a minute, he added another finger, scissoring them inside Steve. Steve wrapped a hand around his dick and stroked as Eddie fingered him. This went on for as long as Eddie could stand it. He wanted to feel Steve around him, be inside him. Eddie slid his fingers out, then leaned over Steve. Steve nodded and smiled reassuringly, so Eddie took his own dick and lined himself up. He pushed but nothing happened, so he pushed again. This time he entered Steve, just the tip, and Steve groaned, let go of his dick, and reached for Eddie. Their lips met and Eddie pushed again, sank into him to the hilt. Eddie gasped, threw his head back and muttered a few choice profanities before dropping his head and resting his forehead against Steve’s.

“Fuck,” he breathed out. “God, that feel so much better than my own fist.”

“Eddie, baby,” Steve panted. “You’re hurting me, baby. You’ve got to move, get me used to you.”

“I’m sorry, baby.”

Eddie pulled back then sank into Steve again. He found a rhythm and moved slowly and steadily. He didn’t want to hurt Steve. But he could tell that he wasn’t; Steve was enjoying it. As he got used to Eddie inside him, he started moving his own hips, rotating them to try and take Eddie deeper. He rose up to meet hm with each thrust, digging his nails into Eddie’s back and shoulders with one hand, clutching a fistful of Eddie’s hair in the other. Eddie thrust into him, harder and faster as Steve’s moaning got louder and more intense.

Then he felt it. He could feel his orgasm coming. All the feelings and sensations Steve had introduced him to ten years ago, feelings he’d become familiar with over the last decade at his own hands. But this was different. This was more. The sheer intensity of it as it was building made Eddie dizzy. His eyes lost focus and his mouth hung open. He couldn’t think straight as it started in the pit of his stomach and flooded his entire body, until he buried his throbbing erection deep in Steve’s ass; his entire body went rigid.

“Look at me,” Steve moaned. He held Eddie’s hair out of his face and Eddie’s eyes came back into focus. They locked with Steve’s and his hips started again, slamming hard and deep into Steve. “I love you, Eddie,” Steve panted. “Come for me, baby.” Eddie started to come, his entire body on fire, tingling with electric energy. “That’s it. Fuck me, Eddie.” Eddie’s name trailed off into a high pitched wail as Steve started to come between them, his dick pressed tightly between their stomachs. Eddie slid his dick out of Steve then collapsed on top of him, his head nestled against Steve’s throat as he fought to catch his breath. Steve held onto him, his own breathing ragged and shallow. “You okay, baby,” Steve asked when he finally caught his breath. Eddie just nodded against him. “Lay down next to me, so I can clean us up.”

Reluctantly, Eddie rolled off of Steve and watched him through half-lidded eyes as he took a handful of tissues from the box on the nightstand and wiped himself clean. Then he removed Eddie’s condom, wiped Eddie clean as well, then dropped it all into the wastebasket next to the bed. Then he laid down next to Eddie and pulled him over onto his chest. Eddie snuggled into him and sighed happily.

“Did I do okay?”

“It was alright,” Steve said, and Eddie poked him in the ribs. “It was very good,” he said. “Couldn’t you tell by the way I came without you even touching my dick.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t last longer,” Eddie said. “You’re lucky I didn’t prematurely ejaculate.” They both laughed.

“Don’t worry. It was perfect.” Steve raised up on an elbow and looked down at Eddie. “Are you ready for more?” Eddie nodded and Steve saw the fear flash in his eyes. “Baby, we don’t have to do this.”

“I want to, Steve.” Eddie propped himself on an elbow so that he was face to face with Steve. “I’m scared. But I’m ready.”

“Don’t be scared,” Steve said after a quick kiss. “I won’t hurt you.”

“It’s not the pain I’m scared of,” Eddie whispered. “It’s the memories.”

“Baby, you’ll be okay,” Steve told him. “Just look at me. Look into my eyes and see how much I love you. I won’t let you get hurt. Focus on me and I’ll keep the bad memories away.”

Steve wrapped his arms around Eddie and pulled him closer as their lips met. He kissed him slowly, deeply, passionately, and laid him on his back, moving his own body over Eddie’s. He let his hands roam Eddie’s skin, tracing the lines and curves of his muscles. When he got to Eddie’s hips, he gripped them in both hands then pulled back to look into Eddie’s eyes.

“I’m ready,” Eddie whispered.

“Flip onto your stomach.”

“I want to see you,” Eddie told him.

“You will.” He kissed Eddie softly. “But for this part, I kind of need you on your stomach.” Eddie started to protest, but Steve stopped him. “I promise we’ll be face to face when I make love to you.”

Eddie hesitated for a moment, but he could see the love in Steve’s eyes, and he trusted him, so he slowly flipped over onto his stomach. Steve brushed Eddie’s hair off his shoulder and pressed his lips to it. He kissed a slow line down Eddie’s back, letting his fingers trail over this skin in the wake of his lips. When he got to Eddie’s ass, Eddie pushed up a little and looked back over his shoulder at Steve. Steve locked eyes with him, winked, then dipped his head and licked up the cleft of Eddie’s ass. Eddie shivered. Steve palmed his ass, one hand on each cheek, then spread Eddie open. Eddie instinctively raised his hips, and he dropped his head to the pillow when he felt Steve’s tongue again, licking soft circles around his hole, teasing and probing while Steve reached under him and stroked his dick.

Steve spent several minutes licking Eddie’s ass, pushing his tongue inside. Eddie opened easily for him, and he pushed back against Steve, eager, wanting more. Steve reached blindly for the lube, slicked some onto his fingers, then licked down to Eddie’s balls, kissed them softly, and touched his slick fingers to Eddie’s ass. He rubbed in a circle, soothing him so that he relaxed. He listened to Eddie breathing, counted the breaths, and when he exhaled, fully relaxed, Steve slid his finger easily into Eddie. Eddie threw his head back and howled as his whole body went tense again. Steve kissed the small of his back, whispered to him to relax, to breathe deeply. Eddie did as Steve instructed and Steve started fingering him, sliding his finger in and out of Eddie. After several strokes, Eddie’s hips started moving, pushing back as Steve sank his finger in, surging forward as he slid it back out. They rocked together, moving fluidly, until Eddie’s dick was fully erect in his other hand.

Steve whispered for Eddie to turn over and he pulled his finger out just long enough for Eddie to get on his back, then he lifted Eddie’s leg, propped it on his arm, and dipped his head to take Eddie into his mouth. Eddie moaned lustily as Steve swallowed him into his throat. Eddie tangled his fingers in Steve’s hair and pumped his hips, feeding his dick to Steve. Steve reached under him, slid his fingers through the lube on Eddie’s ass, then he pushed two fingers inside. Eddie cried out again, but there was nothing painful about it. His hips jerked unsteadily as his brain tried to process everything he was feeling. Before he could sort one feeling from another, he was coming again, deep in Steve’s throat. Steve swallowed around him as his hand slowed, letting Eddie ride his fingers as he sucked him through the last remnants of his orgasm. Then he pulled off, slid his fingers out, and smiled up at Eddie.

Eddie didn’t move. His chest rose and fell with his labored breathing, but otherwise he was still, his eyes closed, a sexy little smile curling up the corners of his mouth. Steve slithered up his body and pressed his lips to Eddie’s. Eddie parted his lips and Steve slid his tongue into his mouth. They kissed for a long moment before Eddie playfully pushed Steve away and made a face as he licked his lips.

“That’s a weird taste,” he said softly. “Does yours taste like that?”

“Everyone’s tastes different,” Steve told him. “Are you okay?” Eddie nodded as he lifted his arms and put them around Steve’s neck. “Did you like that? My tongue inside you?”

“Fuck yes,” Eddie giggled. “Can you do that to me every day?”

“Anything for you, Eddie.” Steve moved off Eddie and sat next to him, his back against the headboard. “Come here, baby. Up on my lap.” Eddie weakly sat up and threw a leg over Steve, then collapsed against his chest. “Think you have enough strength left to ride me?”

“You want me on top?”

“You’ll have more control that way,” Steve explained. “You set the pace, you take as much or as little as you want.” Eddie thought for a moment then nodded. “Put a condom on me.” Eddie reached for one, tore it open with his teeth, then rolled it slowly onto Steve’s erection, stroking and squeezing as he smoothed it down. “Now lube.” Eddie picked it up and squirted some onto Steve’s dick before wrapping his hand around it and stroking it firmly. Steve added some lube to his hand then reached under Eddie and slid two fingers inside him again. Eddie moaned softly and started bouncing on Steve’s hand. “That’s it, baby. That feel good?”

“Fuck yeah,” Eddie moaned. “Want you inside me now,” He gave Steve’s dick another squeeze.

“Come here.” Eddie went up on his knees, Steve’s fingers still inside him, and Steve took him into his mouth and sucked softly as he took his erection in his other hand. Finally, he looked up at Eddie. “Sit down, baby. Take me inside.” Eddie lowered himself as Steve slid his fingers out. Eddie stopped when the head of Steve’s dick pushed against his hole. “Take it slow, baby,” Steve gasped in anticipation. “Relax, breathe, let me in.”

Steve penetrated Eddie and Eddie crashed his lips into Steve’s, crying out into his mouth as they kissed. He took a deep breath, exhaled on a whimper and slid further down, taking Steve inside, inch by inch. It felt like Steve was stretching him to his limits, filling him completely, invading every fiber of his being. Eddie pushed harder, took the rest of Steve inside until his ass was flush against Steve’s hips. Steve just held him, his fingers digging into Eddie’s hips hard enough to leave bruises. He had to fight not to forcefully take Eddie. Him just sitting there, so hot and tight around Steve’s dick, was maddening and Steve was sure something was going to explode.

Just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, Eddie slid back until just the head was inside him, then he sat again, crying out again. He did that over and over, picking up the pace with each stroke. After a minute, Eddie found his cadence. He rocked smoothly against Steve, riding him fluidly, like he’d done it a thousand times before. Steve broke their kiss when Eddie’s cries no longer sounded pained, but lustful and enthusiastic instead. He bounced on Steve, his arms around his neck for leverage, and Steve watched him move, watched the way his muscles rippled in his stomach and abs as he worked Steve expertly inside him.

Steve took Eddie’s dick in his hand, applied just enough pressure to make him squirm, and let Eddie’s bouncing slide his dick through his hand. Eddie threw his head back, muttered and cursed, moaned Steve’s name. Steve leaned in and caught one of Eddies nipples, sucked it, tugged at the ring through it with is teeth. Eddie moaned loudly, arched his chest into Steve’s mouth. Steve moved to the other nipple, gave it the same treatment.

“Fuck,” Eddie grunted. “I’m gonna . . . Oh, god, I’m going to come again.”

Steve released his nipple, caught the back of his head and pulled him down into a kiss just as he shot his load over Steve’s hand and onto his stomach. His whole body practically shuddered with the force of it. He tensed around Steve, working his erection, tightening around him. Steve couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m almost there, baby,” Steve moaned into Eddie’s mouth. “I’m going to lay you back, okay?” Eddie nodded once and Steve suddenly flipped him onto his back. He buried himself in Eddie several times, pumping hard and deep into him until he came, his orgasm ripping through him like a freight train. “I fucking love you,” He gasped against Eddie as he came down.

“I love you,” Eddie panted back.

Steve pulled out of Eddie and immediately slid his fingers back in. He stroked and soothed Eddie as he removed his condom with the other hand. After tossing it into the wastebasket, he reached for another handful of tissues, then cleaned himself and Eddie off, saving Eddie’s ass until last, and giving it a few soft licks when he was done. Then he laid down next to Eddie and sighed.

“I need a cigarette after that,” Steve joked.

“You know what they say about people who smoke after sex?”

“What’s that, baby?”

“They aren’t using enough lube.” Steve burst into a fit of laughter and leaned his head over against Eddie’s on the pillow. “You like that one?” Steve nodded. “I heard that from some of the guys at the bike shop I used to work at.”

“I’m sure you heard a lot of great, filthy jokes hanging out with a bunch of bikers.” This time Eddie nodded. “Are you okay, Eddie?”

“I’m perfect.”

“You liked it?” Eddie nodded again. “All of it? I didn’t hurt you too much?”

“I liked it, baby.” Eddie turned onto his side and curled into a ball against Steve’s chest. “I liked all of it. And it hurt at first. But like I said, I don’t mind the pain so much.”

“How’s your head?”

“Probably not as good as yours since I haven’t sucked a dick since I was ten.” Steve jerked back and frowned at him. “I’m sorry. Bad joke.”

“I meant the memories, Eddie.”

“I know what you meant.” He kissed Steve’s chest. “At first, I kind of had a flash of things that happened to me when I was a kid. But it went away pretty quickly. Looking at you, the gentle way you touch me. It felt different. It overshadowed the memories. It felt too good for it to be bad.”

“I’m glad I could make you feel good.” They kissed for several long moments. “All I want to do is love you and take care of you,” Steve said. “I don’t want you to ever feel scared or alone.”

“I know I’m safe with you, Steve.” There was a loud rumble from Eddie’s stomach. “Sorry about that,” he giggled.

“You haven’t eaten today.”

“Nope.”

“Me either,” Steve said as he sat up. Eddie sat up next to him. “I only took a couple of bites of the dinner I made. You want to grab a quick shower then run to Benny’s for something to eat?”

“Benny’s is still open?”

“Of course,” Steve laughed. “Nothing in this town ever changes.” He stood up and pulled Eddie out of bed with him. He pushed his naked body against Eddie’s. “Just think of all the fun things we can do together for the first time.” He started backing towards the bathroom. “Like showering together.”

“I don’t think I can take much more right now,” Eddie laughed. “My ass is throbbing, and I don’t think I have any more come left in me.”

“That’s okay,” Steve said. “Sometimes it can just be fun to play around in the shower. Come on. The quicker we shower, the quicker we can get something to eat.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The first thing Steve and Eddie did when they got back to California was get some sleep. They were both exhausted and jet lagged and were content to just get into bed together and sleep in each other's arms. But the next morning, Eddie woke Steve up really early because he wanted to drive to Santa Cruz so Eddie could show Steve where he surfed. Steve breathed a sigh of relief as Eddie opened his garage and he saw a car inside. He wasn’t sure how he felt about riding on the back of Eddie’s bike. Not that he didn’t trust Eddie to keep him safe. But even though Eddie looked hot as hell on his bike, Steve wasn’t sure he really wanted to be out on the highways on one. One thing he wasn’t crazy about in California, the speed limits were a lot higher than back in Indiana. They spent an entire day on the beach. Eddie surfed some then tried to teach Steve to surf, but promptly gave up when it became clear that Steve had absolutely no balance. And Eddie was fairly sure he fell as often as he did more from wanting Eddie to catch him and kiss him than because his balance was really all that bad. Eddie didn’t mind though. He liked catching Steve when he fell. After a day on the beach, they stopped and picked up tacos from Eddie’s favorite Mexican restaurant and spent the night curled up on the couch, a movie that neither of them watched on the television, while they kissed and touched and held each other. And when they eventually made it back upstairs to Eddie’s bedroom, they both got naked and were immediately in each other’s arms again, kissing passionately as their hands roamed each other’s bodies.  Steve moaned softly as Eddie’s lips moved to his jaw, then to his neck and shoulders. He ran his hands into Eddie’s hair, freshly washed but still smelling somewhat of sunshine and ocean air. As Eddie moved lower, Steve was so lost in the sensations of Eddie’s lips on his body, that it took him a moment to realize that Eddie was sucking his dick. Steve’s eyes shot open, and he slid one hand down to cup Eddie’s chin. Eddie opened his eyes and looked up at Steve. His big, innocent, doe eyes gazing at him, filled with love and lust, his perfect, plump lips, wrapped so snuggly around Steve’s dick. Steve couldn’t drag his eyes away from the sight of Eddie on his knees in front of him. “My god,” Steve sighed. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”  Steve held his chin in one hand, his thumb tracing along the line of his jaw, and his hair in the other hand, using it to guide Eddie up and down. Steve pumped his hips, feeding himself to Eddie, slow and steady. Eddie let Steve lead him and set the pace. This was his first time really doing this, and he was eager to please Steve. He kept his eyes locked with Steve’s and a few minutes later, when Steve moaned that he was ready to come, Eddie resisted when Steve tried to pull him off. Steve’s eyes went wide, and Eddie winked at him. Steve let go of Eddie’s hair, touched an index finger to the corner of his mouth. Eddie opened his lips, though his tongue still slithered around Steve’s dick. Steve slid it out slowly, wrapping his fist around it, then when just the head was against Eddie’s tongue, Steve started stroking, hard jerky movements as his body went rigid and he started to come. Eddie wrapped both hands around Steve’s, tilted his head back, and gladly accepted the warm sticky fluids that Steve shot into his mouth and onto his lips. When Steve was spent, he slid his dick back into Eddie’s mouth and Eddie sucked him softly, swallowing around him. “Good,” Eddie asked anxiously when Steve finally pulled back. “Perfect,” Steve sighed. “I can’t even begin to express to you how perfect it was.” Eddie stood up, Steve still holding his chin. “You’re so pretty with my come on your face.” Steve pressed his lips to Eddie’s and licked them, removing any traces of his fluids as they kissed. “Thank you, baby.” “Thank you for doing it slow,” Eddie whispered against his lips. “I was afraid you might . . .” Eddie trailed off as he laid his head on Steve’s shoulder. “Eddie, sweet baby, you need to tell me these things before we do anything,” Steve told him as he backed towards the bed and laid down, pulling Eddie down beside him. As he pulled the blankets over them, he continued. “If you’re afraid or unsure about anything, tell me. I hate to think I might do something that would put you off or scare you.” “You really want to discuss fucking before we fuck?” Eddie tried to say it with a straight face, but he couldn’t hold back a goofy, lopsided smirk. “You are a guidance counselor,” he giggled. “I guess you could give me some guidance.” “I’ll teach you everything you need to know,” Steve answered with a smirk of his own. “Though you’ve pretty much got blowjobs down.” “Thank you,” Eddie beamed, flashing a big grin at him. “I’m glad you liked it.” “I just like your mouth,” Steve told him. “Everything you do with it is just outstanding.” “That’s it,” Eddie asked with a very believably feigned frown. “Just my mouth?” “Well, I guess your dick is okay.” He reached between them and wrapped a fist around Eddie’s erection. “I mean, you fuck like a beast. You took to that very naturally.” “Did you just make a W.A.S.P. reference?” Steve nodded. He wondered if Eddie would catch that. But he wasn’t surprised that he did. He knew Eddie still loved W.A.S.P. “That’s really hot,” Eddie said with a wink. “That you like metal.” Steve nodded again. “You make a very sexy metal head. All that long hair is a really good look on you. It turns me on.” Eddie’s cheeks flushed pink. “When you got out of the car in my driveway that day, you had your back to me at first, and I was admiring your hair. Then you turned around and I saw your face, and you looked so damned good. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to act like I didn’t care that you were here. I wanted to jump on you and have sex with you on the hood of your car.” “Not the most comfortable place to lose your virginity,” Steve laughed. “But I understand what you mean. Anyone ever tell you that you are like pure sex on a motorcycle?” “That’s what the chick at the gas station tells me,” Eddie laughed. “Right before she asks me out and I turn her down.” “How often does she ask you out?” “Every time I stop in to gas up my bike,” Eddie said. “But it’s all in fun. I told her after the third or fourth time that I’m gay.” “Poor girl,” Steve said, feigning sympathy. “She must have been heartbroken.” “Let me tell you,” Eddie laughed. “There are a lot of broken hearts in the greater San Francisco Bay Area. And they all belong to me.” “Yeah?” Eddie nodded as he laid his head on Steve’s chest. “You get propositioned a lot?” “You’d be surprised,” Eddie answered. “I get hit on at least once, every time I go any further than my front door. I have to be careful even going out to get my newspaper or the mail. The housewives in the houses on either side of me are always hitting on me.” “They better keep their hands to themselves,” Steve said quietly. “You belong to me.” He dropped a soft kiss on top of Eddie’s head. “They know I’m gay too,” Eddie said. “One day I was leaving to go to Santa Cruz to surf, and they were both walking their dogs and stopped to talk right out front. They both kind of ganged up on me and offered me a threesome.” Eddie twisted his fingers in the hair on Steve’s chest as he spoke. “Usually I just flirted back, told them that I’m sure their husbands would kill me. But that day, I kind of felt intimidated. They were standing too close to me, being overly aggressive in their flirting, you know?” Steve pulled Eddie closer to him, letting Eddie snuggle into him as he stroked his arm. “I didn’t like it. So, I told them that they were both beautiful, but I’m gay and the answer is no.” “Speaking of San Francisco,” Steve said. “I’ve always wanted to go there.” “I hate San Francisco,” Eddie laughed. “Too crowded and the traffic is crazy.” He tilted his head back and looked up at Steve. “But I’ll take you tomorrow. Shouldn’t be too touristy in the middle of the week.” “If it makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to.” “Oh stop,” Eddie said, then scooted up so he was lying face to face with Steve. “I’ll take you. You can’t visit the Bay Area, for the second time no less, and not see Alcatraz and The Golden Gate Bridge.” “Yeah, I didn’t see anything but the post office and you the first time I was here. But now I’ve seen the ocean,” Steve said. “And I’m in love with it.” “I told you, it’s life changing.” “Are you sure you want to move back to Indiana,” Steve laughed. “And leave the Pacific behind?” “That’s the one thing I’ll miss most about California,” Eddie said, a hint of sadness in his tone. “But when you’re on school breaks, like Christmas, Spring Break, summer vacation, we can travel and visit great surfing spots all over the world.” Steve’s eyes lit up. “It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.” “Nicole and I were going to go on vacation before school started,” Steve told him. “I was going to take her to Paris because it’s where she wanted to go. But I really wanted to go to Hawaii.” “Are you asking me to go to Hawaii with you?” “I might be,” Steve laughed. “I don’t think we can swing it before school starts, but I scheduled the first half of December off for the wedding and honeymoon, then we have the second half off for Christmas Break.” “Oh,” Eddie exclaimed excitedly. “I’ve heard that Waimea Bay on Oahu’s North Shore has crazy surfing in December.” “We could have a surfing honeymoon.” Eddie’s eyes went wide, and he half sat up, looking deep into Steve’s eyes. “Yeah, baby, I think I just asked you to marry me.” “You’re offering me Waimea as a bribe to marry you?” “I’d like to think no bribe was required,” Steve laughed. “But if Hawaii is what it takes, then yeah, consider it a bribe.” “No bribe required,” Eddie said as he leaned in to kiss Steve. “The answer is yes. Not sure what you’re planning, since gay marriage isn’t legal, but my answer to anything you want is yes.” “I don’t know what I’m planning,” Steve answered truthfully. “But I’ll figure something out before we get to Hawaii.” He put his arms around Eddie as he sat up. “Come here.” Eddie crawled onto his lap. “We can start planning the trip when we get back to Hawkins. I’m sure my travel agent will love it since I cancelled the plans I was making for Paris and my honeymoon.” “Where were you going on your honeymoon,” Eddie asked as Steve dipped his head and caught one of Eddie’s pierced nipples between his lips. “Fuck, I love it when you do that.” “New York,” he mumbled around the nipple in his mouth. “But right now, let’s not talk about that. We have other things to take care of.” “Yeah?” Steve nodded as he moved to the other nipple. “What’d you have in mind, big boy?” “Well,” Steve answered, kissing Eddie’s shoulder and biting him softly. Eddie hissed his approval and arched into Steve. “Your dick is still hard.” He wrapped a hand around it and stroked it gently. “And with you naked and hard, sitting on my lap, my dick is getting hard again.” “I can tell.” Eddie wiggled his hips and ground his ass against Steve’s rapidly growing erection that was wedged against him. “You want to fuck me, baby?” “Fuck yes,” Steve laughed huskily. “But why don’t we start with you laying back?” Eddie kissed Steve once then laid back, his ass still on Steve’s thighs, his legs spread around his hips, his arms out to the side while giving Steve a sultry look that said, ‘ take me .’ “Perfect.” Steve slid out from under Eddie and lifted his legs, draped them over his shoulders so that Eddie’s hips were up off the bed. “My turn to suck you off,” he whispered. “While I finger you and get you ready for me.” “Oh god,” Eddie moaned. “I’m ready.”  Steve touched his fingers to Eddie’s lips, tugged gently to get him to part them, then slipped his fingers into his mouth. Eddie sucked lustily for a minute while Steve reached for the bottle of lube in Eddie’s nightstand. He slicked some along Eddie’s ass then gently pulled his fingers from Eddie’s mouth, trailed them down Eddie’s chest and stomach, swirled the head of his dick, tracked the length of it, then over his balls and down to his ass. Eddie whimpered and pushed against Steve’s hand as he pushed his fingers inside. “Mmm, you are ready, aren’t you?” Eddie just nodded as he bit his bottom lip, stifling a loud moan. “Not going to take much to get me inside tonight, is it?” This time Eddie shook his head, a whimper escaping his lips. “I’ll fuck you so good, baby,” Steve said quietly, leaning down until Eddie could feel his warm breath against his erection. “Just let me swallow your beautiful cock first. Then I’ll give you everything you want, baby boy.” “Oh fuck,” Eddie moaned and tangled his fingers into Steve’s hair as Steve took him into his mouth. ********** The next morning, Eddie drove them to San Francisco. It was a shorter drive, at just over an hour, compared to the two-hour drive to Santa Cruz the day before. They spent the day there and ended up getting a motel room for the night instead of driving back because they had been drinking during dinner and they were both a little tipsy, Eddie more so than Steve, and Steve wasn’t comfortable driving back over the mountain to Tracy in the dark. So, they left the restaurant, a seafood place where Eddie introduced Steve to sushi. Steve was very leery, offering mild protests when Eddie suggested it. But when Eddie gave him that wide eyed, innocent look, his bottom lip protruding just a little, begging Steve to say yes with those big, beautiful, chocolate-brown eyes, he relented and agreed. And to his surprise, he loved it. Eddie beamed happily at that. They spent the next couple of weeks alternating between going to the beach and visiting other tourist destinations that Steve wanted to see, and that Eddie had never bothered to see even though he’d lived in the area for ten years. They drove an hour to San Jose to visit the Winchester Mystery House. They went up north and hiked through the redwood forests one day, then the next they spent a day hiking Mt. Diablo. They even drove three hours to Reno, Nevada to spend a weekend gambling and seeing a couple of shows. Between them, Eddie and Steve won five thousand dollars on nickel slot machines. Eight weeks passed quickly for them. And Steve hated to think about Nicole and Hawkins and going back home and going to work. He was having too much fun in California with Eddie. It was like a vacation for him. But when he had just a week left before school was due to start, he knew he had to call Nicole and see where they stood. He abhorred the thought of having to stay at his parents’ house if Nicole was still in his house. He knew they’d let him and that they would welcome Eddie into their home. But he didn’t want any drama with Nicole. He wanted it to just be over. So, while Eddie was on the phone with his literary agent, Steve took his cellphone out into Eddie’s backyard and called Nicole. “Don’t worry,” she said when she answered, not even bothering with a hello. “I’m out of the house as of this morning.” “Thank you, Nic.” “Yeah, whatever,” she grumbled. “I found an apartment in Kokomo. Now I’ve got to commute more than an hour to and from work.” “I’m sorry.” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose to ward off a headache he could feel just from talking to Nicole. He wasn’t really sorry, but he didn’t want to start a fight. He was in too good a mood to fight with her, especially because it really didn’t matter anymore. “How’re you doing?”“How do you think I’m doing,” she asked angrily. “My fiancé is thousands of miles away, fucking some guy he had a thing for ten years ago, and I’m sitting in a half empty apartment, alone, trying to figure out what I did to deserve being treated like this.” “I’m sorry for hurting you, Nic,” Steve sighed. “I never wanted to. It just happened.” “Well, when the novelty of pretending to be queer wears off, I hope you’re not expecting me to wait for you to come to your senses,” she said, holding back tears. “If you think I’m ever going to let you touch me again after what you and that freak are doing, then you’re even stupider than I thought.” “STOP!” Steve resisted the urge to throw the phone across the yard. He heard Nicole sniffling on the other end of the line as Eddie stepped outside to see why he was shouting. Steve turned his back to Eddie, held his forehead in his hand, and tried to squelch his anger. “First, do not ever call him that again, Nicole. If you know what’s good for you, you won’t ever say that again.” Eddie laid a hand on Steve’s shoulder and Steve glanced back at him. His face was red, and anger burned in his eyes. “Second, that’s exactly what you did to deserve this; calling me stupid. I’m sick of you acting like you’re so much better than me and everyone else around you. Sure, you’re a research scientist and I’m just a middle school guidance counselor, but I’m not stupid.” “She called you stupid again?” Eddie reached for the phone. He would tell Nicole off himself. “Let me talk to that bitch.” “What was that,” Nicole asked. “Did Eddie just call me a bitch? Put him on the phone. I’ll show him which one of us is the bitch.” “Stop it,” Steve said into the phone while giving Eddie a pleading look. He was talking to him too. “Nicole, I’m not pretending to be anything. This is what I am. You’ve known that since Tommy and I were together.” “You and Tommy were just playing a sick game,” she said. “You were young and stupid and didn’t know what you were doing.” “Nicole, I’m bisexual,” Steve explained patiently. He took Eddie’s hands and held them. He could see how mad Eddie was, and he knew Eddie would snatch the phone away and go off on Nicole if he didn’t keep his hands occupied. “I love Eddie. This isn’t a phase. Eddie is the one person I’ve always wanted to spend my life with. And now that I have him, I’m not letting go.” “I hope he dies in a horrible accident,” she spat out nastily. “You really are a hateful bitch,” Steve sighed and Eddie grinned. “Even if he did, Nic, I wouldn’t come back to you. You’ve shown me your true colors and I’m done with you. I’d like you out of my life permanently.” “Fine,” she huffed. “I’m done with you.” She hung up and Steve took a deep, cleansing breath. “Even if I did what,” Eddie asked when Steve shoved his phone into his pocket. “Nothing,” Steve sighed. He didn’t want to repeat what she’d said. “She’s moved out of the house. We can go . . .” He trailed off, staring out at the mountains behind the house. “We can go?” Steve shook his head and looked down at Eddie, smiling dreamily.  “There’s a middle school in Tracy, isn’t there?” “There’s one about three miles away,” Eddie said. “I’ve driven past it. I’m sure there are others.” “This house is a lot bigger than mine,” Steve said. “And we’re near the ocean. Why don’t we stay here instead of Hawkins.” “I thought you loved your job.” “I love what I do,” Steve answered. “But I can do it anywhere.” “Are you sure? You told Nicole you didn’t want to leave Hawkins when she suggested it.” “Yeah, well, there’s a lot I’d do for you, Eddie, that I would never do for Nicole.” Eddie couldn’t help but smile at that. “Let’s fly back so I can tell my parents face to face,” Steve said, and Eddie nodded eagerly while throwing his arms around Steve. “I’ll let the school know I won’t be coming back when the new school year starts. We’ll sell the house. I’ll send my resume to some schools here.” “I didn’t want to say this before, and I would have lied if you’d asked me,” Eddie said with a shy smile. “But I’m really glad you brought this up because I would have moved back to Hawkins with you. Gladly. But I really, really wanted to stay here.” “I kind of thought you might,” Steve laughed. “Being able to go to the beach and surf, the mountains, the deserts. San Francisco. I’ve fallen in love with Northern California. I think I’ll love living here. As long as I’m with you.” “Okay then.” Eddie kissed Steve softly. “I’ll get us a flight back to Hawkins tomorrow.” “You realize that we’re going to have to go see Dustin and Robin and tell them I’m leaving.” “I think they’ll be happy for us.” “I know they will.” ********** Steve knew something was wrong the minute they walked into his house. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something felt off. Eddie felt it too. He gave Steve a look, one that said be careful. They walked through the house, hand in hand, and Steve shook his head when he saw the sliding glass back door to the deck was shattered and the long vertical blinds covering it were swaying in the breeze. His first thought was that someone had broken in. He glanced towards the living room. The television screen was smashed and broken, and so was the glass door of his stereo cabinet. He stole a glance at Eddie who was still standing by the back door. “The TV and stereo are lost causes,” he said. “But it doesn’t look like they took anything. I’ll check the bedroom.” “Wait,” Eddie said and reached for Steve’s hand. “Look.” He pushed the blinds to the side with his other hand and nodded towards the shattered glass all over the ground. “I don’t think anyone broke in.” “You’re right,” Steve said as he noticed what Eddie had seen. All of the broken glass was on the deck, not the carpet inside the house. The glass had been broken from the inside. “Shit, you think Nicole did this?” “Would she do something like that?” “She did throw a crystal vase at my head once,” Steve said. “But that was right after she first moved in.” “Maybe we should look around.”  They walked hand in hand through the kitchen, living room, and dining room. No other windows were broken, and nothing else had been destroyed besides the television and stereo. Steve felt the relief creeping over him, until they went into the bedroom. Steve stopped dead in his tracks. His bed had been stripped, the blankets, sheets, pillows, and comforter were strewn haphazardly around the room. But worse than that, the mattress had been slashed up and was in tatters and ribbons. Steve went to the bed, shaking his head as he stared down at it. Eddie went into the bathroom then peeked back out at Steve, a sympathetic look in his eyes. “What? She shredded the shower curtain too?” “She did,” Eddie answered. “And broke the mirror too.” Steve stepped in behind Eddie. The counter to ceiling mirror that covered one wall over the counter and sink had been smashed as well. A bottle of his favorite cologne, that Nicole had given him for his birthday, was broken on the counter, like Nicole had thrown it into the mirror to shatter it. “I think you’re going to need new towels.” Steve looked down at the litter of shredded bath towels on the bathroom floor. “Shit, my clothes.” Steve rushed to his closet and yanked it open. Most of his clothes were hanging neatly and orderly, just the way Steve liked them, sorted by color. The end of the row of hanging clothes, where the black clothes were, where his t-shirts were, was mostly empty. Nicole had torn all of his heavy metal band shirts to pieces. He picked up the Metallica shirt he wore to the gym and growled under his breath. “Just the band shirts,” he said over his shoulder to Eddie. “Metallica, W.A.S.P., Dio, Quiet Riot, Twisted Sister, Ozzy. All ruined.” “It doesn’t matter,” Eddie told him as he came up behind him and put his arms around his waist. He rested his chin on Steve’s shoulder and Steve turned his head to drop a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “I’ve got plenty of band shirts you can borrow.” He ran his hands over Steve’s biceps and grinned. “Not sure they’ll fit this ripped body you’ve got now. But we can doctor one up, split the sides, crop it, cut the sleeves off. You’ll be hot as shit.” “Just like you.” They turned away from the closet. As they did, something on the nightstand on Nicole’s side of the bed caught his eye. He went over and picked up Nicole’s engagement ring. “I wonder if I can get my money back on this.” “If you can’t,” Eddie told him. “Pawn it. You won’t get everything back, but I bet you could get at least a grand for a diamond that size.” “It cost me closer to four.” Eddie’s eyes went wide. “It’s what she wanted,” he said. “And I’m a sucker and I always gave in to her.” “Well, I’ll tell you now,” Eddie said with a mischievous smirk. “I want an engagement ring, but I don’t want anything with diamonds in it.” “A skull ring,” Steve asked with a laugh. “Like you used to wear in high school.” “A claddagh.” Steve cocked an eyebrow. He was vaguely familiar with the symbol. “I researched them for my books,” he said. “Depending on which hand you wear it on and which way the point of the heart is facing, means different things.” Eddie held up his left hand. “Left hand, point of the heart towards the fingers means I’m engaged. Point of the heart towards the wrist means I’m married.” “Well then,” Steve laughed. “You’re definitely wearing it on your left hand. We’ll discuss which way the heart points when we get it.” “Silver,” Eddie said with a grin. “Gold doesn’t look great with my skin tone.” “Whatever you want, baby.” Steve tossed the ring back on the table and pulled Eddie into his arms. “Let’s go talk to my mom and dad. Then tomorrow, we’ll drive to West Lafayette to see Dustin, then the next day to Indianapolis to see Robin.” “Sounds like a plan.” “In Indy, we’ll find a jewelry store and I’ll get you a claddagh.” “Would you wear one if I bought you one too?” “Of course, I would,” Steve answered. “I’d wear anything you wanted me to.” “Matching claddaghs it is.” “This is it, Eddie.” Eddie smiled up at Steve. “The first day of the rest of our lives.” “And we get to spend it together.” They kissed slowly, their hands moving over each other. “Thank you, Steve. This is everything I’ve ever wanted.” “Me too, baby.” Another kiss, hungrier this time. “I’m sorry we were apart for so long.” “We’re together now,” Eddie said between kisses. “That’s all that matters now.” “I love you.” “I love you too,” Eddie answered then pulled away without letting go. “Now, let’s go see your mom and dad.” “We could do that tomorrow and just fuck all evening instead.” “Tell you what.” Eddie backed away from Steve. “Let’s get a motel room on the way to mom and dad’s house. Because even if she hadn’t destroyed the bed, I’m not sure I want to have sex with you where you slept with her.” “I feel the same way.” Steve slipped his hand into Eddie’s. “Let’s get this over with so we can get to the fucking as soon as possible.” “I’m going to love being married to you,” Eddie laughed. “Me too, baby,” Steve replied. “Me too.”   THE END