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LoudPenguin · There Once Was A Boy With A Sword In His Hand
There once was a boy with a sword so hard
And a head full of songs sung by some bardWhen he heard that a princess had been taken away
He ran off fully cocked to save the dayAnd he didn't have a hope and he didn't have a prayer
But all his thoughts were in the brain down thereAnd he got to the mountains and he got up to the cave
He fought that dragon in a fight so braveThe royal turned around and the hero thought he missed her
But the prince who's in the cave was much prettier than his sisterWith a lot of sex and love they defy the archetypes
Cause dragons don't give a shit about your gender stereotypes There once was a boy with thoughts in his head
About a witch who wanted children deadAnd he didn't know the way and he didn't know the place
But he's gonna stab that witch in the faceThen he took off all his clothes and he went to have a bath
And the rest, well it's all just aftermathCause he met a helpful plant and he met the evil witch
Who were happy to scratch his tied-up itchThe aftercare comes later after spankings all night long
And the boy, well in the end he joined a forest full of songAnd he's not allowed to shoot and he's not allowed to twitch
Cause life is never quite as simple as just killing the witch Their love is so big and their love is so strong
Their love keeps them wide awake all night longTheir touches feel good and their bodies feel hot
If you want to make them stop then you'd better notCause they're going to change the world, all these horny loving boys
With their passion and their love and their friends, family and toysBecause every single boy from a pauper to a lord
Learns a lesson early on about the body he's explored
And once he knows the rules and he wants it even more
He'll use a compass or a map until he finds the best place for it
Where he should put his sword There once was a boy with a three-man team
And earning all the riches was his dreamAnd they had a list of rules but their tent was really wet
So they broke them and had their best night yetThey were only at the start of a tale so very odd
For the prophets started calling him GodAs the demons come to fight and the angels start to swirl
Looks like he’s going to save the worldOr hey maybe break it all it’s actually not so clear
No matter how it goes the end is nearIn the meantime they’re out searching for the world’s old treasures
And their team is getting bigger and they’re finding new pleasuresAnd they’re going to stay together and there’s one thing that’s true
It’s that being on a team means observing all the rules There once was a boy who just wanted fun
But it turned out he was the chosen oneSo they took him to their school and taught him all the magicks
But he was too focused on sucking dicksIn his classes they were teaching some really old mistakes
So he stepped up and showed them the wayBecause magic is in five and magic flows and ebbs
But the chosen one knows magic’s a WebThe situation worsened and he had to save the day
And his friends helped him find the right wayAnd he’s going to change the world, he’s going to make it better
Cause the prophecy is right, maybe just not every letterBut important he might be, he still loves every boy and man
Cause if the chosen one can’t defy stereotypes, who can? Their love is so big and their love is so strong
Their love keeps them wide awake all night longTheir touches feel good and their bodies feel hot
If you want to make them stop then you'd better notCause they're going to change the world, all these horny loving boys
With their passion and their love and their friends, family and toysBecause every single boy from a pauper to a lord
Learns a lesson early on about the body he's explored
And once he knows the rules and he wants it even more
If it’s some cute boys or all he’ll decide from his adored
To show someone his sword There once was a boy who stowed away
On a ship, he got caught within a dayAnd he had really fast hands and he knew a lot of words
And for all his problems he blamed the birdsAnd the first mate was a treasure and the ship was a joy
He didn’t mind being the cabin boyHis plans they didn’t work out and he found himself a home
A family to make sure he wasn’t aloneNothing can come between them, if it tries it’s going to sting
For proof look to the short story of the Sea KingAnd he loves his life at sea, and he wouldn’t change a spot
Cause stowing away really was the best idea he got There once was a boy who became a knight
But he didn’t do it so that he could fightHis brother’s in the order, he by example led
And our squire wanted in that brother’s bedHe fought for his friends and he fought for his place
And then he stared danger right in the faceHis adventures were many and rewards were just the start
What he deserves for being so stalwartSurrounded by his loves and surrounded by his brothers
The stag knight will pioneer an order unlike any otherAnd he’ll do it with a smile and a big old salute
The noble traditions of knighthood are always absolute Their love is so big and their love is so strong
Their love keeps them wide awake all night longTheir touches feel good and their bodies feel hot
If you want to make them stop then you'd better notCause they're going to change the world, all these horny loving boys
With their passion and their love and their friends, family and toysBecause every single boy from a pauper to a lord
Learns a lesson early on about the body he's explored
And once he knows the rules and he wants it even more
He will work up his courage and he’ll find the best way forward
To be proud of his sword There once was a boy who hurt everyone
Because he just thought it was lots of funPain blood torture and suffering they brought him lots of joy
And in his dungeon was a captive toyHe’d tried to kill his daddy yes he’d tried to kill the king
And now he’s trapped being the prince’s play thingBut they had something in common the same person to hate
Partnered to destroy him and his kingdom takeThe prince he beat him broke him and he got broken right back
But they passed a knife and now he’s wearing dragons rimmed in blackThe biggest thing that he’s learned over the screams cries and yelps
You don’t have to be a sadistic villain but it helps There once was a boy who was sold a slave
And given a mission so very graveAnd he had a knife to grip but he had no hand to hold
He did his very best to be so boldWith salvation in his reach and a collar on his neck
He simply did not know what was correctSo he sat there in the moonlight and he raised his blade so high
But when time was right all he did was cryOn his major contract he could not actually deliver
But with his Master and his friends his new life is silverHe’s chained now to his new life and he may never be free
Cause life has no silver lining when you’ve endured slavery Their love is so big and their love is so strong
Their love keeps them wide awake all night longTheir touches feel good and their bodies feel hot
If you want to make them stop then you'd better notCause they're going to change the world, all these horny loving boys
With their passion and their love and their friends, family and toysBecause every single boy from a pauper to a lord
Learns a lesson early on about the body he's explored
And once he knows the rules and he wants it even more
He’ll have to make decisions on a person he’ll award
Just who should hold his sword There once was a boy betrothed to a girl
Because sometimes that’s the way of the worldBut he brought his very best friend and he brought his big dog
He wasn’t lonely in the northern fogHe built himself a household and he built himself a life
He loved himself a family not just a wifeHis love with his princess was more than he thought it could be
He was happy to join her family treeAnd at the end of the day he feels like he’s going to win
Because at his side for always is his loyal companionEven in the world of politics certain things are true
Princes marry princesses but they can love their best friends too There once was a boy with important names
He always had fun playing courtly gamesHis brother was perfect and could never do no wrong
Our lord he went and bought that all alongSo when another usurper made his puppet king fall
He set his brother up to beat them allOnly after he won did he realize ambition
Was not just an older brother’s missionHe got everything he wanted at the end of the day
But his brother wanted everyone out of his wayHe still fights the same fight to keep his brother royalty
Belonging to a noble house means that first comes loyalty Their love is so big and their love is so strong
Their love keeps them wide awake all night longTheir touches feel good and their bodies feel hot
If you want to make them stop then you'd better notCause they're going to change the world, all these horny loving boys
With their passion and their love and their friends, family and toysBecause every single boy from a pauper to a lord
Learns a lesson early on about the body he's explored
And once he knows the rules and he wants it even more
He has to think about the family he’s part of going forward
For whom he’ll bare his sword There once were some boys whose tales weren’t long
But they still deserve their very own songsFrom a boy with a dragon to a prince’s easy page
A usurper and rebels in a cageWith angels solving problems and a wizard’s apprentice
A companion and a baby boy witchA faery with big problems and a soothsayer with gifts
Prince and pauper swap, a villager tripsFrom past into the present and right onto the future
Boys in love are never going to stop having adventuresThere are too many of them to give every boy a rhyme
Histories of the world are written one soul at a time There are lots of boys aside from these few
Who should all have a little focus tooFrom knights in shining armour to dragons in their caves
From good to bad boys who cannot behaveWitches, sorcerers, mages, wizards, necromancers too
Who always know just the right spells to doWith noble boys and servants and with all boys in between
Some not human but their swords as cleanThe world is full of boys in every shape and size you dream
And they’re all united through more than just all of the orgiesI could name every boy and girl around and not stop, see
Because everyone’s the main character of their own story Their love is so big and their love is so strong
Their love keeps them wide awake all night longTheir touches feel good and their bodies feel hot
If you want to make them stop then you'd better notCause they're going to change the world, all these horny loving boys
With their passion and their love and their friends, family and toysBecause every single boy from a pauper to a lord
Learns a lesson early on about the body he's explored
And once he knows the rules and he wants it even more
It’ll come naturally to him and he’ll know his own reward
How best to use a sword