Archive of Our Own

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Your new assistant was going to be a problem.

You clocked him as a problem before he walked through the doors of your office.

You spotted the danger a mile away the moment you saw the memo from the President of the company’s personal secretary advising you that a new member of your team would be starting today. A new member whose presence you’d never requested; who’s resume you’d never even seen, and whose last name was suspiciously identical to that company President’s whose Secretary was asking you — no, telling you to welcome your brand new, fresh out of college, probably fresh out of his dear mothers warm hugs and kisses embrace, with has much of a warm welcome as if you were welcoming the President himself.

Not only did you get thrust into your lap a most likely spoiled rotten nepotism baby, but now he was sitting across from your desk staring back at you with a bright beautiful smile of plenty of professionally straightened teeth and an even brighter happy go lucky personality that told you that this strapping young man had never known a day of struggle in his entire life — as short as that life had been so far.

An assistant should be younger than you anyway, right? You wouldn’t feel right bossing a homely old man around all day.

Did that young assistant have to be so very pretty though? Did he really have to be sitting there so damn moist and tender, looking at you with his head cocked to the side as if he had been jumping to as many conclusions about you as you had about him?

“I’m Byun Baekhyun. I like playing video games and working out. I can’t eat cucumber or spicy food. Please take care of me, Miss Manager Noona .” His words pulled his pink lips into a pout as he spoke and the sounds of his voice had just enough of a nasal whine that you wondered if he simply always got his way all of the time with everyone he knew.

You frowned and ticked your head back and forth
at the name he called you. “Just Manager.” You corrected sternly and his wide smile dipped into a pronounced pout. The kind one might see on a little kid who’d just dropped his ice cream cone. You heard a nasal grunt of complaint come from the back of his throat and you hated how quickly that sound strummed a particular chord inside of your chest. You felt weirdly rebuked for the quick rebuttal and your lips dropped open almost against your will, “I mean, it’s just that…”
Just when you’d opened your mouth to speak he’d already moved on, “So what do I do here, Miss Manager…?” His words out loud stopped at the word Manager but you caught the movement of his lips as he silently mouthed the forbidden word ‘Noona.’ Clearly thinking he’d gotten away with something, his bright smile was back and as he asked his question he leaned forward with both of his elbows bent on the edge of your desk. His head peaked around to steal glimpses at the various pieces of work both open on your desk and brought up on your computer screen. You had been up to your ass in it before he walked in here and the thought of pausing all of this progress to train this guy was making your stress ulcer act up. You had deadlines to meet if you were going to get this script to the Assistant Directors in time for them to begin filming the next episode. The directors had deadlines, the locations were booked and paid for, the sponsor checks had long ago been cashed, and the reality show talent had a schedule that, contractually, could not be delayed. You simply did not have time for this inexperienced man to be asking you silly questions like “So what do I do here, Noona?”

You pulled a long breath into your lungs through your nose and closed your eyes for a moment, harnessing your self control. It wasn’t his fault you were overwhelmed with work. It wasn’t his fault he was born into a life of privilege and comfort. It wasn’t his fault that you didn't have time to train an entire new employee on the complicated job that sat before you. It was, maybe, perhaps his fault though, that the full head of bottle blonde hair you saw on top of his head had just enough highlights in it to bring out the pink in his cheeks and lips and make him look like something straight out of a boy band.

By the time you’d finished taking in your several calming deep breaths and you put your eyes back on him he was standing over your desk with his eyes peering over the document you had been working through for the past hour.

He was reading and mouthing the words, although from upside down you doubted he could tell what he was looking at, yet you watched curiously as he stuck a slim finger forward to touch the corner of one of the papers. You had been going over translations. Making sure the wording was correct, yes, but ultimately safe for widespread distribution. Your copy had red slashes through it with changes and suggestions. You were the final set of eyes that would approve this language that would be distributed proudly with your companies name all over the world.

“I think this one is no good,” he pointed to a single word on the document that had seemed innocuous enough for you to skip over it entirely. “That word,” his fingertip was stopped on a noun in the middle of the page, “means something very, very naughty in Brazil.”

Your eyes glanced down to where he pointed, surprised first for him to catch on to this task so quickly without you even having to explain it, and second to learn that sometimes a seashell is not just a seashell.

“That’s what you are doing with this, right?” He was grabbing the stack of papers from your desk now. “Give it, you have more important things to do, Miss Manager…” Again his lips continued the next two syllables in silence and you realized that this man was probably the most stubborn person you would ever meet in your entire life, and you were about to be permanently sealed into his mind as his Noona , whether you allowed it or not.

And it wasn’t that you approved of any of this anyway. But by the time your brain turned back on, the documents were already in his hands and he grabbed the red pen and started marking the page on top.

You had no choice but to allow it. The mere thought of someone taking away even a fraction of your workload felt like some sort of a dream come true. Plus, it really did seem like he had some idea of what he was doing. Part of you was genuinely curious as to how he would do.

You glanced over at him occasionally as he read through the pages making his notes and you soon found yourself immersed in the next task that was due soon.
Your focus was interrupted when a chipper sing-songy tune sounded out in his voice beside you, “I’m do-ne,” he called out and the script plopped down on your desk. His eyes were bright and his wide smile was back as his eyebrows wagged in the direction of the stack of papers he’d proudly presented you with.

You’d only made it through the first page when he started speaking again — this time without the singing.
“Did I do well? Do you like it? Can I stay?”

You were leafing through the pages, finding the spot where you left off and where he took over and you quickly read through the lines, taking care to read every suggestion he had made as well as the suggestions he had not made on the chance that in his inexperience he had missed something.
It looked pretty good. You didn’t tell him that though.
“Where did you say you came from again Mr…?”
“Baekhyun. I am Byun Baekhyun and I am yours now. You can use me however you like.” His wide smile had not so much as trembled since he’d brought the script back to you and the jovial attitude did not let up as he delivered to you one of the strangest, most ridiculous promises you’d ever received from anyone in your professional career.

You kept your face blank and ignored his eagerness. At least he was enthusiastic.

“Can you take this down to QC for final approval, Baekhyun…and do you have, like, a resume or something I can look at?”

He nodded with his eyes wide and he was digging through his bag for something. What he handed back to you was a tablet. The electronic kind that kept the little kids quiet at restaurants. His fingers tapped on the screen as he peered over your shoulder he brought up a picture in his photo gallery that seemed to be just a screen shot of his resume. He had to flip past various personal pictures as he did it and you did your best not to focus on any of it until he’d reached the one intended for you to see. There was nothing inappropriate from the looks of it. But it didn’t seem polite of you to snoop.

You did see some things though. Not that you were trying to see anything, but the picture right before the resume was one of him sitting in the driver’s seat of some fancy foreign car with a sweet smile on his face and a different color of hair that if you were being honest looked just as good, if not better than the blonde he had now.

“Sorry Noon— Uhh, Miss Manager, I don't have a printed copy on me but you can look at it there.” His hands were busy putting the paperwork carefully into a large white envelope so he could deliver it all to Quality Control and his head whipped back around with an afterthought for you, “You can just scroll to see the next page, okay?”
He was gone before you could answer him.

His resume showed promise. He’d graduated from an expensive Ivy League, of course, and had spent a few years abroad on various internships, no doubt landed with the ease of his family’s connections in the industry. You’d reached the end of the first page feeling somewhat hopeful that this time your new assistant would prove himself to be quite useful to you for however long he stayed in such a bottom level position. He would probably last no longer than a half a year before he rocketed to the top of the chain of command. The next page had various awards and honors achieved throughout his education and you glanced at the dates that he attended school, cursing your ability to do some quick mental math to guess his age.

He was young. A good amount of years younger than you, that was certain. Of course he was young, his skin still had traces of that smooth soft baby fat in his cheeks. Your finger scrolled back to the first page of his resume and with your fingertip still connected to the glass you allowed the picture to backtrack just a little, so the edges of the image of him smiling behind the steering wheel of that car showed just a little.

You had no business doing this. What were you thinking? You were just some delusional old lady thankful that she had an extra five minutes to her own thoughts thanks to her brand new assistant’s skills with a red pen. You quickly swiped away, back to the safety of the approved viewing material. Page one of Byun Baekhuun’s resume. You swiped again, a little too forceful for this tablet and page two quickly filled your screen. Perhaps the third swipe you made was out of spite but you gasped out loud when the next image in his picture gallery filled the screen of the tablet completely.

A wave of panic filled you and you quickly raced to undo what you had just done, what you had just seen.

You went back. It wasn’t enough.
You went back again, desperate for what you had just seen to be erased from your memory, but no matter how long you stared at the words on that screen, no matter how forcefully you exited out of the gallery entirely, closing the whole thing up and then finally giving up, locking the tablet and putting it to sleep, that image crept back up again and again and again.

Soon the desperation turned to bargaining. And bargaining turned to acceptance. It was normal really for a woman like you, a single, lonely, overworked woman like you to have this sort of reaction to accidentally seeing an attractive shirtless man standing poolside with the sun at his back and wetness glistening over his skin and broad chest and abs and other various well defined, firm, manly muscles.

Anger followed next. You were pretty sure you were going in the wrong order here, but how dare he put that picture in his tablet and just tell you to scroll. It was so easy for him to say it too as if he wanted you to find the picture and admire the time and work he put into building all of those muscles in his body. What if you had been caught in a trap. What if this was some sort of a test by HR to see if you needed to be sent to sensitivity training for sexual predators. What if there was a tracking device on that picture and there was now a blaring nipple warning happening in some control room upstairs.

A soft and pleasant ding interrupted your thoughts and you had a message waiting from Dami in the QC department. Baekhyun must have delivered the package by now. A quick glance at the clock on your computer told you that he had been gone for some time now and you half wondered if perhaps he had gotten lost on his way back.

“Oh my god. WHO. WAS. THAT?!!!??”

“I take it you got the revisions — please be quick, I’ve had 1st AD breathing down my neck all morning.”

“Gotcha. You made some interesting choices with this but I'm into it. What was wrong with those seashells?”

“Vulgar slang, censored in the Brazil market.”

“Ohh-la-la, great catch! This is why you’re the best.”

Her latest message stared back at you as your fingers refused to type a response. The last thing you wanted was to accept someone else’s work as your own, but you also really want to spend too much time on this distracting conversation that was keeping you and her both from your work. A simple emoji would do the trick. A smiley face, or a rolled eyes emoji maybe. Something that didn't exactly make claims to the potential slip up that Baekhyun caught on his first upside down glance at the script that you somehow missed even after looking over it twenty times.

Maybe you needed to brush up on your international slang terms for various sexual acts and their involved genitalia.

“My new assistant, Baekhyun, caught that one.” The long pause between her misdirected compliment and your delayed confession made you feel just a little bit guilty for any potential misunderstandings you might have opened yourself up to.

“Even his name is pretty.”

[She should see his muscles] an uninvited guest in the back of your brain whispered and you winced when it happened.
As soon as the thought crossed your mind you felt the shame of its aftermath course through you. That was the last thing you needed to be thinking about.

You didn't have much time to dwell on it because there was a sudden commotion outside of your office door. You heard the sound of someone’s shrill shouting, overdramatic screaming really and the telltale sounds of someone being thoroughly scolded. At the exact same time an alarm was sounding out on your phone telling you it was time to make it to your biweekly meeting with the directors and assistant directors upstairs. You quickly grabbed your laptop and calendar and made your way out of your door to see what in the world all of the fuss was about.

The carpet outside was littered with assorted papers and standing in the middle of the mess with his head hung down in shame was your assistant, looking sheepish and guilty. The source of the shrieking, as usual, was Carla, one of the less organized members of the translating team. You could see the now empty document tray sitting just at the edge of her desk and you imagined that she had set the whole thing precariously close to the edge again just tempting fate.

“What am I supposed to do with this now? This was my whole day’s work and you’ve made a huge mess of it all! Who even are you? Are you supposed to be in here?”

Baekhyun’s head dipped lower and his cheeks were bright pink as he was scolded again and again for bumping into her teetering tower and sending it crashing down to the ground, as you had seen happen around her desk at least once a week.

“Sorry, but I hardly even touched…” He was opening his mouth now, and as he began to protest what he thought was an unfair scolding you saw her lift up a rolled piece of paper and bonk him squarely on the top of his head with it.

You knew it was time to intervene and you cleared your throat noisily to make your presence known.

Carla’s hand with the rolled up paper dropped in an instant and her eyes widened as she looked at you in surprise.
“M…Manager, He…”
Baekhyun’s face whipped to look to you and you noted the apprehension in his eyes and the way he pulled his lips into the smallest pouty frown.

“Carla, why don't you and Emily work together on this? I know you’ve been working very hard all alone this week. Emily, let’s push back your workload to next week, hmm?” You pivoted to address the rest of your team as to not call attention to Carla alone.“Everyone, let’s not stack everything on the edge of our desks. Let’s try and keep a clean workspace for everyone so accidents like this don't happen so often.”

You did your best to keep any bit of reproach out of your voice and it must have worked just enough to satisfy the easily excited girl because she closed up her mouth and flattened out her angry eyebrows with a small shrug.

You weren't above cleaning up a little mess here and there. As soon as you were done talking you dropped down to your knees and started gathering the papers up into a stack, the moment you moved, the rest of the team all dropped to their knees to do the same. Baekhyun was the first at your side, reaching for papers and pulling them out of your hands as you made neat stacks and he placed them carefully on the opposite side of Carla’s desk next to the partition, safe from literally anyone who might want to walk through this office.

“Baekhyun, I have a meeting upstairs, why don't you tag along so you can see what that’s like?”

“Yes ma’am,” he whispered beside you with a smile building on his face again and he moved quickly, keeping directly behind your steps as you moved down the hallway to the elevators.

“ Noona , I’m so sorry about that earlier — I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I don't even know how it happened. All of a sudden she was just yelling at me. ”
“ Manager , Baekhyun,” you corrected quickly as you stepped into the elevator first and he followed behind with a sheepish smile creeping up on his face. “And you didn't cause any trouble. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“You were so cool though. You felt like a hostage negotiator, freeing me from my kidnapper. What did you think of my resume? Am I a man that meets your high standards?” His questions came in rapid succession one after another and you held your composure well at the mention of that damned resume of his.
That resume and those muscles.
“You’re smart and you seem capable enough,” and young and firm and handsome as all hell, “I’m sure you’ll do fine while you are here.”

You gripped your calendar in your fist and tapped it lightly against his belly. He grunted once and grabbed it with his free hands. “Pay attention to that. You’ll need to follow my schedule.”

He smiled and shone brightly in response with an energetic head nod and he spent most of the upstairs meeting leafing through your calendar, making small marks on certain dates and pulling out his cell phone to no doubt copy certain entries into his own phone calendar.

Baekhyun’s first day was eventful but he was very promising. The next days and weeks to come were interesting in a way you hesitated to define.

He proved himself valuable to you instantly. He was indeed smart and capable and had a sense about him that you hadn’t seen before in a coworker. Having him at your side not only made your own job infinitely easier, but you noticed your mood had lightened when he was around.

He was cheerful and funny and although you tried your absolute best not to encourage his jokes or god forbid, laugh at them, the first time you slipped and let a quick chuckle out over something stupid he’d said he looked at you with wide eyes and the proudest grin on his face. You had to instantly roll your eyes for damage control.
“That’s the first time I’ve ever made you laugh. Noona , admit it, you like me just a little bit.”

You’d given up on trying to break him of that nickname after the first week of him just ignoring your attempts. The first time you’d answered to it, you knew it was over. You’d screwed up.
And you just did it again with the laugh. He was holding something very important just out of your reach as he sometimes did when his mood grew playful and you had been doing your best not to kick him in the shins so he would drop the stupid thing that you just needed your final signature of approval so you could move on to the next thing that needed your immediate attention.
“I never said I didn’t like you, Baekhyun, this is work. We are working right now. If I miss this deadline that’s it for me and for you and for the entire department out there.”
“So when the project wraps you’ll have a drink with me and then you’ll laugh at all of my jokes? You promise?”
He dropped the papers just enough for you to be able to touch the corner of them and you gripped them tightly, pulling them hard into your hands with a force that instantly made him let go. He knew the penalties of destroying something at the last minute and no amount of playfulness would make him risk having to run around re-gathering important person’s signatures with just one hour until shooting began.

It was what you needed and you signed quickly with a pen, passing them back into his arms with an urgency on your voice.

“Fine. Go. Now.” He was out the door without a second word. Of course he was playing about drinks with you. Of course he was playing with you about liking him just a little bit. This was just what he did and he didn't mean any of it at all. This guy was so far out of your league he had his own fan club.
He was very highly sought after by all of the young ladies in this office alone, and you had heard rumors of his popularity in the rest of the building.

Why wouldn't he be joking with you? It made no sense for you to take any of it seriously and you knew it deep down inside of you.

You made for a quick fluff in the mirror on your wall and a touch up of your makeup along with slipping on a classy professional jacket and the heels you kept in your office for situations that required you to look just a little more presentable than usual. You had another meeting to attend for an upcoming project. Something new and different that required you to meet with a whole new team of very important people to sell yourself and your team and their highly sought after skill set. You pressed the elevator button and caught a glimpse of your reflection in the shining silver elevator doors and just behind you saw the familiar bounce of his blonde hair as he rushed to your side to join you at this meeting. He was huffing and puffing from clearly running through the office to get back to you. You noticed the flush in his cheeks and what looked like dust on his jacket. His hair was just a little messy too. You always did your best not to look too closely at Baekhyun. The few times you did allow it your mind would wander into forbidden places and you noticed that it never took very long for him to catch you watching him.

He didn’t need to attend this one. It was more of a schmoozing event than any sort of technical planning meeting but the sight of his bright smile brought you a strange comfort so you didn’t send him away. Inside the elevator you noticed he was watching your face rather closely and when you turned to him in question he lifted a finger up to his lips and pointed.

“Your lipstick has a little smudge.”
Great. Just what you needed. You tried to look your best and just ended up a mess again. You reached up and rubbed lightly below your bottom lip and he shook his head and took a step closer to you and lifted his own hand to your face.
You froze and held your breath and you stared into his face in shock as the tip of his finger ran a path down the edge of your upper lip. He cocked his head to the side and his eyes slipped into your own for a split second and you were sure that you noticed his cheeks darken a shade. Had your own cheeks given you away so easily as well?

Baekhyun cleared his throat but he wasn’t done and he was no longer looking into your eyes as he did this. He made another, firmer pass of his index finger over the edge of your upper lip and you instinctively pulled your lips inward and squeezed them together, pretending as if you needed to spread your lipstick more instead of just getting away from his fingertips that touched you in this quiet and private place.

As you did it, he moved again. His hand lifted to run his fingertips along your temple, where you must have had an errant strand of hair that he slowly and carefully tucked behind your ear. You kept your breathing calm and steady and you kept your face impassive, but the racket inside of your own chest as your heart beat took on a life of its own was distracting and terribly concerning. You were a mess deep down inside. You were just so good at hiding it from him.

“There,” he whispered. “Beautiful,” he said even quieter, almost entirely under his breath just as the sound of elevator dinging made you jump with the sudden intrusion.

You were the first one out. You didn’t hear his footsteps behind you as you usually did and when you risked a quick glimpse behind you, you noticed he hadn’t yet left the elevator and his focus seemed distracted and lost.

“Baek,” you called and his eyes snapped back to life before the elevator doors closed on him. He shook his head lightly and took three big steps to take his place at your side. His smile was nowhere to be found and his eyes didn't quite meet yours and something about him made the air in this blasted hallway feel awkward and claggy and downright difficult to breathe in.

“Oh, I feel—,” you let out a breath through your pursed lips and whispered out loud to yourself as you placed a hand over your chest to calm your beating heart, “—-nervous,” you admitted in defeat, pausing outside of the heavy wooden doors.

“Because of the meeting?” A quiet question eked out in a familiar voice behind you and you refused to meet his eyes.

“Of course, why else?” You answered flatly and quickly but his reply did not come as quick. What came instead was a sharp inhale of breath pulled into the lungs of the man who stood behind you at this door.

“Right,” he said softly with a small exhale through his nose. “Why else.” He agreed out loud. You must have imagined just a hint of disappointment in that exhale. Of course you’d imagined it. It probably originated inside of your own head, really. Everyone knew you had no business feeling any sort of way about your assistant Byun Baekhyun. Whether it be disappointment; or heart flutterings; or attraction; or desire; all of it was off limits.

“Baekhyun, this is a very important meeting.” You inhaled slowly and deeply and stole a glance to your left where Baekhyun stood and you noticed he had what looked like an entire leaf stuck to the top of his head.

What?
The more you looked at him the messier he actually seemed and you knew that behind that door would be a multitude of very important, very rich people who held your future in their hands. People who very likely did not have dirt in their coats and leaves in their hair.

This would not do. There was an empty hallway near the stairwell at the end of the corridor. You’d often used that quiet space to regroup before these kinds of meetings. You knew there was a bench and a clock on the wall that did not tick as it’s big hands spun around its face. You reached for his arm and pulled him
“Why are you so messy? What happened to you?” You pulled him fast and he complied with rushed steps to the sanctuary of that quiet space and when you pushed at his shoulders, sending him down to sit in front of you on the bench, he did so with a soft grunt of surprise and zero resistance. Baekhyun never ever resisted anything from you. You’d overheard him downright arguing with some of the other staff members before but he took being your assistant quite seriously and treated even small requests from you as if they had been laws set in stone to follow.

He was just a little bit ridiculous but
mostly he was just the best.

“Before, when I was getting signatures, the paper flew away in the wind and I had to chase it down. There was a bush…” You brushed at his coat with your fingertips, patting harder to get some of the dirt to fall off and you had to step closer to him to get at the leaves in his hair. There were two and they were small and dried and they crumbled into a million bits when you grabbed them, making you have to pull apart the strands of his blonde hair carefully to remove every last bit of them.

“…it flew under the bush in the courtyard and I had t-to…”
You knew you were leaning into him and he seemed to abruptly stop his explanations when you took another step placing your feet in the spaces around where his feet parted, you felt the roundness of his kneecap brush against the inside of your inner knee and he had gone completely still and his words quit entirely. The part of your brain where you kept your most incriminating secrets about him sounded alarms and warning bells. You ignored the cacophony in favor of this necessary task at hand.

It took some doing but you’d gotten all of the mess out of his hair. There was a small pile of broken and dried leaves sitting in the palm of your hand and you noticed some more dirt on the breast of his dark blue coat. It was a dark enough colored coat that the dirt would definitely show so you reached down with your empty hand, laying your palm over the spot, you tried to brush the dirt away. It didn’t budge as easily as you wished it would and a second pass with your hand, with more pressure seemed to work better.

It was almost done. He was nearly perfect again but when your hand returned for one more pass your mind’s alarms rang as you caught on to the firmness and the warmth you felt below his coat. the feeling of him inside of these clothes.

Your stupid intrusive thoughts that you did your best to keep at bay surged up again.
Baekhyun was silent and motionless. Baekhyun had done nothing to encourage this. Everything he had ever told you that might have sounded flirtatious was said in jest. He was joking. He was always joking with you, that was just his way. But he sure did joke a lot with you. You often found yourself confused and frustrated by him.
The dust was gone. He could go now. You could let him go. He was ready to face them.
“There,” you said in a soft whisper, beautiful you thought in secret. Your whisper felt an appropriate tone of voice for such a quiet and secluded hideaway such as this and you mustered up the nerve to remove your hand from his chest so you could throw this trash away and attend your damn meeting.

You rocked back on your feet, shifting your balance away from where he sat on this bench, introducing some distance between the two of you. Then you moved your hand away from his chest for a fraction of a second you no longer felt the warmth and the firmness of his body below your palm and you began to pivot on your heels, you began to turn away from him and extract yourself entirely from this fantastical and impossible situation you had been entertaining inside of your own silly imagination. Only when you shifted so did he and rather than the warmth of his chest under the palm of your hand you felt the slow moving heat of his hand covering over the back of your own hand.
The sensation caught you off guard and you froze mid step, looking down to see it happening. You felt the smoothness of his fingertips tracing an achingly dizzying path up your wrist and higher until your entire hand had been covered completely by his.

You took another step away from him. This was strange. This was some sort of trick of your imagination again.

Your eyes sought out his eyes for answers only the look you saw in his expression did not give you any insight at all. He was watching you with a sort of detachment from this, from you; similar to the same look you’d seen from him in the elevator earlier. Similar to the look you’d seen from him many times over the course of the last few months of working closely with him.

You needed more answers than his face could give and when you took another step the grip he had on your hand tensed and he held on tighter and suddenly he was in motion as his thigh muscles tensed up and he stood on own two feet.

Your mind was consumed by confusion and uncertainty when his movements did not stop.

Baekhyun took a step into you, undoing the distance you had carefully and desperately put between your body and his body and out of the corner of your eye you caught movement in his other hand.

The fragments of seconds of time were insufficient to process any of this. If he was playing some sort of a trick, he was taking it too far for sure. Your heart was entirely too weak to take this kind of behavior from him.

Baekhyun’s hand lifted — he sought to touch the side of your face and at the same time, the distance between the two of you shrunk in an instant as he moved in. You watched on in surprise and in shock until every detail of Byun Baekhyun’s face blurred and you felt the warm wetness of his lips that landed over your own surprised ones.

He kissed you.

He had kissed you.
In this space, this quiet space that was once only yours, he had kissed you and you were frozen in this moment without even the ability to comprehend how this man could have done this, or why he had done this, or what, if anything at all was the punchline of this particular joke of his.

He had kissed you and he was still kissing you and your frozen reaction must have been what brought him to his senses.

He opened his eyes and his lips retreated just enough for him to pull back and look into your face. You made a sound. It was the smallest questioning hum from the back of your throat and you shook your head a microscopic amount to try and clear the static happening inside your brain.

“Uhh,” you finally managed and he had dropped his hold on your hand and closed his eyes up tight.

He looked to his left and then he looked to his right. Both spaces were empty. You were standing in front of him but he did not look at you.
His eyes closed up again and you saw him pull his lips in between his teeth and he bit down and exhaled a huff through his nose before pulling his expression into the smallest wince.

“Shit,” he whispered. He looked behind himself. He looked up at the ceiling and he looked down at the floor. He wasn’t actually looking anywhere but you knew for absolute certainty that he was not looking at you.

You swallowed away the dryness inside of your mouth at the sound of that tiny curse word and the unimaginably tiny sting you felt inside of your chest when you heard him say it.

This was okay.
This was fine.
It was just a mistake; a joke taken too far. He was silly by nature and you did not need to read anything into this little blunder of his. You definitely didn't want to make him feel bad about having made this mistake. Maybe this suffocating ache inside of your chest was the punchline. You could feel its tendrils creeping up inside.

Ha! Ha! Stupid old lady.
No. No, This was okay.
This was fine.
The clock on the wall called to you and you watched the minute hand join up with the hour hand as the two became one and it was 12 noon. It was time for both of you to be inside that meeting room instead of out here playing jokes on each other and instantly regretting it.

His gaze followed yours, touching upon that clock and understanding the task at hand and you stood straighter, fixed your skirt and jacket, made sure your button up blouse was still closed up tight, and you made a few steps toward the trash can to throw away the dried leaves from his hair and from what felt like ages ago and you heard his footsteps follow you down the hallway to enter the meeting room.

You did not hold the door open behind you and you did not listen carefully for the comforting sound of his footsteps behind you. When you opened the door to walk inside you did not do so with any regard for anyone else in the world — especially not for someone like Byun Baekhyun, who’s father’s name adorned the outside of this enormous building and even your paychecks. Especially not for Byun Baekhyun who had exactly three weeks left of his detail in the International Subbing Department before he moved on to QC or AD or wherever the hell he wanted to go when he left you.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The important parts of the meeting were a blur.

The very important, critically vital, future deciding parts of that meeting, yeah, that meeting filled to the absolute brim with the most VIP of VIPs was a all kind of a blur.
You probably did fine. You’d done enough of these by now that you knew you could trust your mind to perform expertly on autopilot.

Metrics to report? You had them.
Deliverables? In spades.
Facts to show where your team outshone the others? Child’s play.
Story after story of your team’s very clear successes with you, their trusty captain at the helm? You had too many to recount, even when you picked just the best scenarios it still felt like bragging.

But that was the point of these things. Showing off for the people who mattered; the senior directors, the production team leaders, the deep pockets, the huge investments, and the big opinions who’s fortunes grew fat and heavy off the backs of the labor of thousands. The decision makers, the cord cutters, and the trigger pullers were all present today.
Meetings like this didn’t happen often but when they did they always mattered.

As you went through your slides and your carefully planned speech you kept your eyes steadily ahead of you at a level just above all of their heads. You’d occasionally allow your gaze to touch upon a few select sets of eyes such as the Company’s Vice President’s no nonsense eyes that watched the presentations with expert level eagle eyes ready to pop off a difficult question at a moment's notice for some of the less prepared members of this upper management team. You’d had none from her. Only a rare tick of her head with an impressed eyebrow lift and an even rarer concealed smile toward you as you were speaking. Many of the others eyes that watched you had far too much pressure when you allowed yourself to lock on, so you mostly looked at the foreheads and you kept your wits about you.

You only very briefly held President Byun’s eyes — the President of this company who had famously worked his way up from the bottom, or so his Wikipedia page said.

The President’s eyes bore a striking familiarity in their shape and in their color to his son’s. A superficial familiarity, because something deeper was very different from the set of eyes that carelessly burned a hole right into the very center of your chest almost an hour ago out there in that secluded hallway.
You could physically feel that same careless set of eyes on you now. A tingling sensation came from the left section of the room where the assistants to the management team stood by armed to the teeth items ranging from a fresh set of batteries for a wonky laser pointer, a spare laptop for a machine on the fritz, to a box of every single cable and adapter and connector known to all of current and past technology on the off chance that some important person with enough zeros in their bank account might wish to connect a 1991 LaserDisc player to the several thousand dollar HD projector system installed in this meeting hall.

You were winding down now, finishing off with a well received joke that brought out an audible chuckle from the room and you could feel the pressure lessen as you easily answered the few questions that were posed.

You couldn’t help the way your eyes began to drift to the left side of the room. As if you had been called by him, your gaze moved so damned easily. It was probably because your speech was all done and you’d reached the end of the slide. You’d never quite mastered exiting one of these things with poise and ease and when your eyes drifted over they naturally settled right onto Baekhyun’s face.

The feelings that coursed through you were conflicted. Comfort and concern. Sanctuary and danger. You wanted to look at him. He felt like a friend and a comrade in here amongst so many others that expected and demanded so much from you. He was safe. He had been safe. He’d helped you prepare for the weeks leading up to this and you knew he was on your side. And you’d been holding it in so well. No one suspected a thing, you were sure of it. You’d been on top of the pesky crush you’d been hiding ever since you met him. And it had been just that. Just a silly passing crush.

You had fully planned on saying goodbye to him in three weeks time and moving on with your life with yet another unrequited love under your belt and a few unrealized fantasies in your head to hold you over until you found enough hours in the day to actually start dating someone. Someone closer to your level. A similar enough age not to raise any eyebrows at work, and a similar family background. Just someone normal and definitely not someone from a family like Byun Baekhyun’s. While the age gap between you and Baekhyun wasn’t completely unheard of, the gap in social status was pretty vast. Sure you’d reached a level of professional success through sacrifice and hard work but every single hard earned dollar you’d made was the result of your own efforts.

How would you even begin to compare to this man? Baekhyun and you came from entirely different worlds.

How much trouble would you be in if all these leaders found out you were falling in love with their very own untouchable Prince? How much of him were you actually allowed and how far would your fall from grace be if you took too much?
Baekhyun’s smile was wide and genuine and his eyes shaped into little half circles. His hands were moving with the silent secret applause he gave you with just the tips of his fingers before shooting two quick thumbs up in your direction. You held your breath as you looked at him. You found it difficult to do both of those things simultaneously it seemed.

‘You’re so cool!’ He mouthed and you pulled your lips in between your teeth to keep your face impassive. It was self preservation. You knew you should not have looked for him at all.

The room was in motion again as the next team manager took to the center of the room. You took your seat for the rest of the meeting and steadied your gaze to the front of the room. You would not, absolutely would not waver.

But your memory, like your eyes earlier, drifted in his direction. You stared straight ahead ignoring the strong pins and needles feeling over your skin that came from the assistants section and your mind replayed the feeling of his long thin fingertips slipping along the surface of your face. His fingertips that touched along your jaw at first then moved higher. So light it felt like silk over a porcelain vase until those fingers threaded into your hair behind your ear, his pinky at the nape of your neck, his thumb pressing over your earlobe and the soft warmth of his palm along your jaw, guiding your face to him; urging you into his lips.

His lips and the yielding uncertainty in them.His lips and the warmth of the exhale from his nose.His lips, begging and your own, too scared to reply.
The speaker at the front of the room had said something funny. An audible chuckle sounded out around you and you dropped your hand from your face quickly and your index finger released its touch on your bottom lip and you looked around, chastising yourself for letting your mind wander in this way. The slight panic that you’d missed something important pulled at your nerves and your eyes, out of habit, sought out the familiar.

You found him so easily. He stood out like a sparkling Diamond in a room of rocks. The giggle in the room was winding down but those brown eyes were already locked into yours the second yours found his. Baekhyun’s expression was flat and serious and it was obvious that he, like you, wasn’t laughing. Perhaps he had missed the joke as well. Baekhyun was quiet and he was motionless, sitting amongst a group of assistants who could never really be his peers, they all giggled and whispered among themselves all worked up from the end of this tortuous meeting or from the entertaining speech they’d all been witness to, you couldn’t be certain.

You caught onto his eyes from across the meeting room. There was a moment of almost peace, when you looked at his serious face and he stared at you in silence, clearly lost inside his own thoughts.

The moment did not last long because his eyes seemed to widen and a bubble had popped, awakening him or alerting him, his posture changed and he pulled back instantly, averting his gaze with a recoil of his features he lifted a hand to rub over his face; he looked away from you. You wondered what had him so engrossed. What had been interrupted inside of his mind just now.

Had your own self resolve been weaker, the curiosity might just eat you alive from the inside out like acid.

Bodies were moving around the room. Your name was called by many a friendly smiling face pulling someone you simply just had to meet. Your introductions were filled with flattery on the excellent work you always produced. You were humble and you were grateful.
Out of the corner of your eye you caught the bounce of a blonde head of hair in the crowd as the small groups mingled about.

“My son has been making his way through the company learning the ropes from the very best we have in each department!” A deep voice boomed and your ears caught a few friendly chuckles as responses as one important man showed off to a group of other important men.
“When are you moving onto the next team?”
“I want to stay where I am for longer. I still have a lot to learn from my manager.” You were close enough to make out Baekhyun’s voice through the murmur of the crowds around you.

“Nonsense,” the old man began and to your surprise, Baekhyun’s voice firmly interrupted.

“No, not nonsense , Dad. I’m staying on this team for two more projects, at least. Maybe more. I haven’t even been involved in the beginning and end of anything yet because My Daddy keeps moving me around like a chess piece just to one-up his friends.” Baekhyun’s voice was quiet enough for the others in this room not to hear him, but you’d grown so accustomed to his particular way of speaking that you could just make out every word he spoke to his father, despite how under his breath he tried to keep it.

“How am I supposed to show my face around these people if you keep pulling me out before anything gets finished? How do you think that makes me look? Do you think that earns me any of their respect?”

Your curiosity betrayed you when you turned your head around just enough to catch the determined look on Baekhyun’s face. You felt a strange mixture of shock and pride watching him respond with such purpose and confidence to his father’s whims that you felt your jaw drop open just a little just from the surprise of witnessing this. You were so caught up in what he was saying and how he was saying it that the small tick of his eyes in your direction caught you off guard and made you flinch. How long had he known you were here? He certainly didn't let your eavesdropping stop him from making his point. His eyes touched yours only for a moment before he inhaled a steadying breath, lifted his chin and spoke his final piece.

“Respectfully, If you want to be able to trust me with your company in the future you need to start trusting my judgment about my life right now, Sir.”
The old man didn't speak right away but Baekhyun’s eyes didn't stay on his father’s face. Those flighty eyes of his gave you away instantly. President Byun turned his head, following his son’s eyes to find you standing close by; not close enough for it to be obvious that you had heard the entire exchange, but your proximity to and your current work with Baekhyun certainly made you feel guilty for lurking around the two family members having a private conversation.

The president didn’t betray any conceivable suspicions he may or may not have had of you, but you did find yourself pulled forward out of your duty to the company and pure politeness.

You greeted them both with a smile and respectful head nod and even reached out to shake President Byun’s hand as he addressed you by name and complimented your presentation. It was a conversation that had been repeated all afternoon and you responded in kind, giving humble appreciation for your excellent team and their efforts.

You’d expected the pleasantries to be the end of it, but the President kept speaking with a wry smile and a genuine twinkle in his eyes this time.
“So you are the reason why my son suddenly has the guts to stand up to me for the first time in his life,” he remarked matter of factly and you heard the deep chest filling breath Baekhyun slowly inhaled beside you. He then cleared his throat out loud and crossed his arms over his chest. The gesture had no effect on the old man who was clearly not new to embarrassing his children.
“Baekhyun has been an incredible addition to my team. I haven’t known him for very long but what I knew right away was that your son has an incredible sense of conviction and determination — he must take after you in that regard.”

This brought a grin to the President’s face and he reached out a heavy hand to lay over his son’s shoulders. Baekhyun’s face held a barely concealed wince and he rocked back and forth on stiff legs. He really should have tried harder to control his face. You’d had the same forced smile on your lips for a solid hour and a half now and your cheeks were starting to go numb from the efforts. For a man who smiled as easily as Baekhyun did, he really didn’t seem to be able to turn it on at a moment’s notice when he didn't genuinely mean it.
“I’ll tell you what,” President Byun turned to speak to you, “You turn him into you and I’ll promote you to Director.”

You pushed the final laugh out of your chest at the ridiculous promise and you said your farewells. You really needed this meeting to be over so you could get out of these heels and into the quiet sanctity of your office. You had several tasks left for the day and not enough hours left in the work day to get them done.

You gathered your things and you gathered your own important person and you left. While, no, you didn’t physically drag Baekhyun out of there, he followed on his own without so much as a word or even a glance from you. Your silent egress down the hallway toward the elevator was echoed by the familiar comfort of his quiet trailing footsteps. When you paused inside the elevator with a light hand to keep the doors open, he kept his eyes down at his feet and stepped inside.

The elevator doors closed and you stared ahead of yourself at the blank silver elevator side panel and he stared ahead at the numbers panel and you instantly missed the excitable chatty assistant you had before today.

This Baekhyun was too quiet and too serious. This Baekhyun was holding his breath beside you and you knew it because when you stole a glance at his face his cheeks were pink and his eyes and mouth were all closed up tight, ready to pop.

It seemed a nerve was being worked up.
It seemed maybe something was incoming and your hackles began to raise. This was the last thing you wanted to happen inside this enclosed space with no escape.

Perhaps it would be an apology for the stolen kiss in your sanctuary. An apology for taking that particular funny joke too far just for the sake of laughing at you.

You weren’t always like this; cynical and mistrusting. Sometimes you let the delusions play out. A microscopic voice inside whispered a hopeful and naive, “ perhaps it would be a confession .” You bit down a little on the side of your tongue to keep from making a sound. Someone like him? Surely he had his pick of women. He was so handsome, young, smart, capable, and he came from money. The kind of money that controlled the world.
You were a few of those things, you had your own money, not the world controlling kind but you could take a nice vacation anywhere in the world and even travel first class without batting an eye, and you even had your fair share of suitors. Hell, just this morning the creepy married father of two in your building ogled you in the elevator — gave you the old up and down and a suggestive wink.

And when you got off the bus at work this morning the homeless man across the street who usually shouted nice ass , changed it up and shouted nice tits at you and he was right. Your tits did look nice today. And perhaps the most eligible, most exciting of your suitors, the handsome new barista behind the counter at Starbucks who for three days in a row, had drawn a small sharpie heart after your name on your coffee cup. That could be flirting, right? The tiny little black thing perfectly drawn, as if he’d taken his time with it like he might, with you.
There was a change in Baekhyun’s face. You saw his lips purse outward and he slowly began to exhale the breath he had been holding. His cheeks were still pink but his eyes were open and he cleared his throat and angled his torso toward you a tiny bit.

It was happening, he was ready to apologize for playing silly tricks on you.

He was ready to pull apart that hole inside of your chest with his slippery fingertips and let out the last scattered fragments of your self esteem.

“Miss Manager,” he addressed you, alone in this quiet elevator without anyone else around to care, without his usual nickname for you. His voice held a seriousness that you’d never heard from him before. It made the air inside of this elevator feel stale and stuffy and you looked away from his grave face and his trembling lips.

The first words out of his mouth burned as they hit.
He didn’t call you Noona . He always called you Noona . From the very beginning there was affection and endearment in that word he used to address you by and you had been annoyed by his audacity and the unearned familiarity of that word at first, but the absence of it in this very moment paired with that look on his face and his flat out refusal to meet your eyes had your mind reeling and your skin crawling from the emptiness of it all.

Three more weeks. You had three more weeks, or less if his father decided to pull him sooner.
Maybe it was better this way. Maybe it would hurt less to sever the ties of familiarity now and go back to a strictly professional relationship with your temporary assistant Byun Baekhyun.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened and you inhaled a swift breath to speak.

“If you are going to apologize to me, there is no need. Let’s both just pretend it never happened.” You struck hard and you struck fast and you watched his face just long enough for the realization to hit him. You watched his face just long enough to see the quick blinking in his eyes and the way his jaw muscles clenched down hard.

It was better this way. He wouldn’t get attached to the Noona who didn’t deserve his sweet nicknames and you wouldn’t have to survive being left again. Not that your last several romantic relationships were anything to compare to this functional strictly work relationship but there was a sort of sick satisfaction in you finally being the one to say it first.

‘This is over.’

‘We should end this.’

‘I’m in love with someone else.’

‘She’s pregnant, I’m sorry.’

He was stuck in the elevator again.

“Assistant Byun, are you coming?” You couldn’t help yourself with the overly formal title. Afterall, he started it with that Miss Manager shit inside the elevator and you could feel your emotions getting the better of you as he stood there silently watching you without moving his feet.

You had tasks to finish for the day. You both had so much work to get done.

He wasn’t moving.

“Are you mad at me?” His question was as small as it was childish. This was a professional workplace. Your jaw dropped and your head tilted and you just looked into his eyes for a second. Was this man really asking you this just outside of your office where your entire team worked?

Yes. Yes maybe you were mad at him, but you’d be damned if he knew about it. You closed your eyes and inhaled slowly.

“No,” you lied and he watched your face too closely so you spun around on your heels and walked swiftly back to your office, taking quick steps through the rows of cubicles filled with your team members to reach your office door and you pulled it open, half wondering if he was still stuck back in that stupid elevator. Maybe you could send him a chair and a desk so he could get some work done in there.
Inside of your office was quiet. You had your plants in the corner beside the window that offered a nice view of the city and your desk was covered with stacks of files that needed your attention. You kicked off your shoes and tossed them away. Your blinds were open to the rest of the team’s area and a few minutes after you entered and heard the single click of the door behind closing you telling you that you were completely alone at last.
Then another sound happened.

The door opening again, the door closing again, the sound of a human body inside of this closed office with you. A body who had sprinted across the crowded office full of your entire team, no doubt calling insane amounts of attention to himself in the process and you heard the telltale sounds of that human body behind you, somewhere lower now toward the floor.

To your horror, you spun around quickly to find Baekhyun down on his knees with his head hung low and a look of severe penance on his pretty face. The blinds of your office were open and several curious faces peered around their computer screens, trying to get eyes on whatever was going on in the bosses office right now.

You rushed to the blinds, pulling them closed as quickly as you could, which you realize only makes things look that much worse and would only make those peering faces that much more invested in the drama.

“Baekhyun, get up. People are watching.”
You had to step around him to reach the next window. He was very much in the way.

“Not until you forgive me, Miss Manager.”
There it was again. You angrily yanked the last of the blinds closed and stood in place with a hand on your chest as you willed your emotions to calm down. This was work. It was ridiculous of you to be so upset at his title for you. Hadn’t you been the one insisting a month ago that he call you that?

Behind you, he was still down on the floor and you felt a tiny poke that stung on the back of your heel.

“You have a blister,” his voice whispered quietly before the sounds of his movement signaled that he was moving around the room.

Two hands landed on your shoulders and gave a gentle push. Your legs resisted at first but the push became less gentle and you risked either falling flat on your face or giving in to his pushing.

“Assistant Byun, I assure you, I am more than capable of handling my own blister.”

“Evidently not, Miss Manager, it is already popped and bleeding.”

The pushing turned to steering and his response to you was downright snarky sounding. You found yourself shoved into a side chair in the middle of your office and you landed with a huff, immediately crossing your arms over your chest and offering as hard a glare your eyes could manage.

You glared at the man who was crouched down on the floor in front of your feet and his eyes glared back at you with a matching intensity that took you off guard. Why was he mad? Was he mad just because you were mad? Without his own reason to be mad? How dare he?

He was gripping your foot. You gave the smallest tug, resisting this but his hand wrapped around tighter as he ticked his tongue in annoyance.

“Be still,” he scolded without earning any sort of authority at all. He was leafing through a first aid kit that you had no memory of ever seeing before in your office.

“I told you I could do it myself.” When you snapped back at him, his eyes shot up at you.

“Miss—” as soon as the first word of that stupid formal title left his lips you rolled your eyes hard. You had absolutely no control over it. It just pissed you off to hear coming from his lips. “-Manager,” he finished but his eyes widened marginally at your obvious reaction.

“Miss Manager?” He said again, softer this time with a question in his tone. You set your jaw, tightened your arms over your chest and looked across your office.

“ Noona ,” he called and your jaw unclenched as you bit down on your upper lip. You could feel warmth creeping up your neck and filling your cheeks and you swallowed away the saliva that pooled under your tongue and you did your absolute best not to look down at him.

“ Noona ,” he called again and your eyes darted down into his. Your eyebrows rose a few millimeters in response to him and gone was the snarkiness and glare in his eyes as he looked at your face. There was something softer brewing in those eyes that watched you now. You saw the beginnings of a smile on his lips.

“You’re cute when you’re mad,” he said with a lift of a single eyebrow and he looked down at your foot. He was spreading some sort of ointment over the open blister on your foot now that you’d stopped fighting him about it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Baek. I already told you I wasn’t mad.”

“You were so mad, you almost kicked me when I was begging for forgiveness earlier,” he said in a mock serious tone. He was pressing a bandage carefully onto the heel of your foot and you felt afroned by his baseless accusation. His joke. You did no such thing! You felt a small laugh escape your chest and you pushed forward with your foot, the one he was holding in his hand and pushed it lightly against his chest. His balance teetered but he stayed upright and held on tighter to your foot to keep his balance.
“I did not!” You felt the first giggles break free from your chest.

“Look! You just did it again! This is an abuse of power!” He was laughing now, and his hand still hadn’t released your foot even though the first aid care was complete.

The hand holding your foot had wandering fingertips that gently caressed the skin over your Achilles tendon, seemingly smoothing the already smooth bandage there. With his other hand he carefully dropped the pieces of wrapper from the bandage into the trash can beside the chair you occupied. Your eyes followed as his slim fingertips carefully and slowly dropped each tiny piece of trash one at a time into the basket, taking way too long with it. They floated down and landed on top of an empty Starbucks coffee cup with the name Baekhyun written in black sharpie followed by a little hand drawn heart.

Apparently that new Starbucks hussie drew hearts on everyone’s cups.

Just like that you were down another suitor.

“Help me, somebody, anybody. This lady is crazy. She only paints half of her toenails,” he was outright laughing now gesturing to one foot with bright pink polish and the other with completely bare toes. You remembered your failed attempt at a home self care spa day. You’d gotten through a half a bottle of wine and half of your toenails when your work phone rang and you had to abandon your other foot to deal with a work crisis that only you could fix.

It somehow made you feel just a little sad, hearing how hilarious he found you. And knowing he was right about how much of a mess you were — with only a married sleaze and a dirty catcalling street bum offering you any sort of real attention, even if it was the absolute worst kind of attention.

You pulled your foot away. He was done with you now, he could have his laugh all he wanted on his own.
You had work to do.

You resisted the urge to kick him for real and stood up quickly, extracting yourself from his seated body and you made your way toward safety behind your desk where he never dared to step.

Only this time you felt him behind you in an instant with his hands grabbing your arms and shaking with the smallest pout on his lips. His laughter had quit the instant you stood up.
“ Noona , you’re not still mad at me, right?” He was shaking your arm, pulling you back from behind your desk, where he must have known he wasn’t allowed.

“Right?” He shook your arm again. You knew this tactic. You’d seen it before. He was trying to wear you down by being annoyingly cute and he was really, really good at it.

Your anger had dissipated a while ago. This wasn’t anger you were feeling and you sighed out loud with your expression calm and steady. The anger was long gone. You had reached the final stage — acceptance.

Baekhyun would be leaving soon. You and him, he and you, the two of you like this together, it had an expiration date.

“We should finish our work,” you spoke clearly and plainly and his eyes widened as the shaking of your arm stopped and the pout disappeared.

“All of it, Baek. We should finish everything. And we should do a good job so you can get the most out of the last few weeks you have here… with me.” The last two words came out as a whisper and you had been staring down at the stack of folders on your desk.

Baekhyun was looking at your face. Gone was the cutesy act and the mocking laughter on his voice and his next words pulled your attention up from endless folders of work you still had to do.

“ Noona , Can I stay?”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

‘Noona, can I stay?’

Of course you wanted to tell him yes. Of course you had grown attached to him in ways you could never tell him. But how much power did this man really think you had in this company? Between the two of you, he had so much more influence here; heaps more than you had.

“Baekhyun, that is not a decision for me to make. You are a great assistant, but you are a more important person than just my assistant.” You made your best attempt at it. The sooner he understood the magnitude of his potential the sooner he would let go of this fixation on staying in this department as your assistant and the better off he would be. If for the sake of his future in this company, he should probably move on. Although, you also realized that part of what made you so damn good at your job was the years of experience you had with it.

“And…if the decision was yours?” His eyebrows were lifted and his expression challenged, as if he asked some mysterious, unsaid veiled question instead of this very obvious

‘Can't I just stay as your assistant’

question he was actually asking. You wondered what had made him so determined to get a response from you.

“I think with a couple of years here with me, you would get too good and surpass me.” You pursed your lips in contemplation. You saw his incredible potential the minute he walked through that door on the first day.

“And then I would have to kill you.” You said it with a straight face and it took him only a minute before his eyebrows dropped and he let out a half exhaled breath mixed with a loud laugh.

He’d spun on his heels and taken a step back from you, before turning back to look at your face again, his wide grin quite evident on his face. “This is the first time I’ve heard you make a joke.”

“What makes you think I am joking?” You deadpanned, no longer even looking at the man and he laughed out loud again.

“Oh my god,” he said out loud to himself. “I think this might be a new step in our relationship.”

“I beg your forgiveness, you kick me in the chest. I ask you to hold on to me and you threaten me with death.” He was talking only for himself now. Amusing himself with his little jokes like he often did. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of into it. I guess that

‘What Rihanna Song Are You’

quiz was right. Chains and whips

do

excite me.”

“Are you done?” You interrupted, actually unable to take any more after your started leafing through the pages and pages of work you had accumulated on your desk.

The more you looked the less you wanted of all of it. You began handling everything with rougher hands and eventually resorted to angrily tossing things into a miscellaneous pile you had just created that made no logical sense. If these things annoyed you the most, they landed in that pile. After a while, after every other toss a swift hand would come into your field of vision and pull something out of the pile.

You didn’t know where it went, but the pile was shrinking and your mood was feeling lighter because of it.

The only pile left after Baekhyun’s mystical sorting just needed signatures. You could do that and walk at the same time if you had someone watching for obstacles in your path.

“I have a meeting with Choi’s First AE in ten minutes and I needed all these signed like yesterday. Let’s go.”

“Now?”

“Now, Baekhyun. Sign and walk and don't let me fall into an open manhole cover.”

He did pretty good with it. “Step up,” He called out beside you and you stepped up when he told you, finding the perfect rhythm and finding the step he warned you about. “Four steps, then turn right,” he said again while also grabbing the folders and flipping to the signature pages that he had already pre-marked with brightly colored sticky tabs last week when he was desperately trying to get you to sign them. Apparently he had been getting emails about them. They were overdue. There might have been phone calls too. Not dangerously late, but you did feel guilty for the delay. Why didn’t you think of this before? You’d probably wasted hours of your life just walking. Those walking hours could have been used for signing. You were pretty sure you were a genius.

That was until your forward progress was abruptly and jarringly halted by a firm arm wrapped around your waist and you were pulled back violently. A loud sound like a beast’s roar echoed against your eardrums and you gasped out loud. Your stomach leapt up into your throat as a panic rose up inside of you from the shock of it.

You’d just stepped off a curb. He’d warned you about the step down, that wasn’t the unexpected part. The danger came too suddenly for either of you to prepare for right after that. You smelled the exhaust of a retreating motorcycle. You could see the crazy driver speeding off in your peripheral vision. You felt the trembling and the shaking inside of your chest as you tried desperately to breathe though the tightness of the arm squeezing around your waist, pulling you back to safety.

“Shit,” Baekhyun swore out loud sometime during the commotion and you’d cried out the same.

It took a few moments of steadying yourself. When your mind sharpened to what happened you found yourself having stumbled back two or three steps with Baekhyun’s arm still wrapped around your waist, the firmness of his forearm digging into the softness of the skin directly below your breasts and his hand you felt laid flat over your rib cage, fingers digging in hard. Tight and firm everywhere. You felt bound up entirely. A clattering of documents bounced onto the floor by your feet and your eyes blinked hard and fast as you tried your best to calm your breathing down. He was still holding onto you when you could feel the panic subsiding and your breathing returning to normal.

Baekhyun’s upset seemed to take longer to pass. You felt the rapid up and down breathing of his chest echoed through your back and his face was buried in the space just over your shoulder, against your neck and into your hair. You could feel the heat from his breath on your neck. It was warm and sticky.

You gave a light tap over his arm that still held you tightly around your waist. Trying to get him to loosen the hold and let you go. It took some convincing though. His arm was very firm and he was holding you very tightly. Close call with literal death aside, a new danger was quickly making itself evident. He felt incredibly warm and nice with his body pressed up against you like this and you recognized the need to separate yourself from him if you were going to keep any remaining bits of your sanity and self resolve intact.

“Are you okay? You aren’t hurt?” He asked from somewhere buried behind you and you urgently nodded. He needed to let you go. He smelled so good.

You tapped his arm again, faster and more insisting, nearly begging now.

“I’m okay,” you said as calmly and as convincingly as you could manage with the limited oxygen you had in your lungs. You could finally feel the tension in his body relaxing a little. But only a little. The longer he held onto you, the more you felt something else making the air around the both of you feel so heavy — something else making the heat spreading between your bodies somehow feel warmer.

Baekhyun was not letting you go, and this was changing for him too, it seemed.

It took no less than a miracle that you did not moan out loud when you felt the deep inhale he took into his lungs with his face still buried deep within your hair. That deep inhale was paired with the smallest sound that came from somewhere deep inside of his chest that, if you were thinking strictly with your rational brain, you could maybe contribute to the relief. He made that sound out of relief that you were not hurt. He pulled that warm breath into himself deep and slowly, savoring it for much longer than necessary out of…relief. A wave of warmth ricocheted through your chest and down into your belly and you closed your eyes through it, desperately reminding yourself that you and him were now, well out of harm’s way, standing on a sidewalk at your workplace where anyone with eyes could see this.

Your tapping was harder now. It woke him up.

As soon as his arm was loose enough, you made a quick and clean break of every and all bits of contact with his body. As abruptly as this happened, you extracted yourself and you ignored the way his eyelids fluttered slowly open and that fucking pink hue in his cheeks and lips that turned his face into one of the most attractive faces you’d ever laid your eyes on.

You squatted down, picking up everything that had fallen and soon enough he joined you, grabbing things from your hands to add to his piles without saying a thing about what maybe he also felt building between the two of you whenever you happened to get too close to each other.

It couldn't happen. It no longer mattered whether or not you believed it was happening. You knew for certain that whatever was or was not happening, it needed to stop here. You simply would never put yourself into any position for this man to need to touch you ever again. You could not trust yourself.

A moan. You almost moaned. You could practically feel the sound ready to come out of your chest if you’d only allowed your mouth to open, it would have. You were insane. You were a crazy person, a goddamned lunatic and a menace. He was your assistant for god's sake.

You steadied your breathing and your resolve and decided to allow yourself two entire minutes to sign the rest of these things on the spot. So what if you were late to your meeting. Punctuality be damned. Sure, the almost dying part was a little scary, but even you had your limits of what you could stand. You had almost moaned! What next? An orgasm right here on the sidewalk? Lock you up and throw away the key now.

You made it on time to your meeting. He was the First Assistant Editor to the Picture Editor Sophie Choi, with whom you had been working very closely with for months on this project. Sophie’s 1st was a man who simply went by Chet. No last name, just Chet. Apparently it was his thing.

He was nice. He was always polite with you even when he had some bad news to deliver, he always relayed whatever news, projects updates, or requests for your team he had for you with an empathetic and professional filter. Unlike some other utterly obnoxious 1st AEs that you’d worked with in the past, Chet was alright.

He was also tall and extremely handsome if you were into muscles, backwards ball caps, and men who looked like they probably moonlighted as underwear models in the back pages of GQ magazine. Not that you had ever seen him in his underwear, but you did follow his instagram and you always made sure to give him that little heart when he posted his pictures.

Chet was a hugger. When he saw you his smile was charming and inviting as he called out your name and he wrapped his big arms around you, pulling you in like a long lost friend. You weren't exactly friends with him. While you’d been invited for drinks with him and his team on many occasions your schedule had always been too swamped to take him up on the offers, but he was still just as friendly with you.

You didn't require Baekhyun to attend this meeting but he was weirdly insistent on tagging along after the quick introductions you made between the two men. They both shook hands and there were some formalities and awkward pleasantries exchanged between the two. Baekhyun whispered to you that he was sure that he should attend this meeting for learning purposes. You were sure nothing important other than networking was about to happen, but he insisted that everything was important in its own way. He was stubborn and after a few back and forths you finally just gave in to the man. If he wanted to waste his lunch hour, who were you to argue?

Chet made a kind of too loud joke about some rumors that you’d been

saddled

with some

fresh meat intern

and you were quick to assure him that Baekhyun had actually turned out to be the best assistant you’d ever had. After the harmless joke, you risked a careful glance at Baekhyun. If he’d taken any offense, he certainly didn't react. He spent much of the meeting sitting in the back of the room typing furiously on his cellphone, no doubt answering many emails on your behalf. Baekhyun was always busy on that phone, keeping your workload down as a side effect.

The meeting was about halfway through when your stomach growled noisily and embarrassingly, reminding you that yes, you were indeed human and you probably should eat something today.

“Why don't we take this downstairs—” Chet lifted an eyebrow in your direction, “—have some lunch… on me?”

You considered it. It didn’t sound like a bad idea. You had all of the materials already and you skipped dinner last night and now that you thought about it, you skipped breakfast this morning too. Your nerves about the presentation had kept your appetite muted. The last meal you had was something shoved into your mouth by Baekhyun sometime yesterday afternoon.

‘Eat this,’

he had said at the time and you blindly opened your mouth and received whatever he shoved in there.

“Some lunch sounds lovely, Chet. Thank you.”

“That does sound lovely, Chet. Thank you,” Baekhyun mirrored from the back of the room, obviously inviting himself along. You couldn’t be completely sure, and you definitely wouldn’t swear to it under oath, but there was something funny about his tone.

Chet’s wide smile had a microscopic hiccup as his eyes moved between you and Baekhyun and then back to you again.

“Great!” He said over-enthusiastically, almost manically and you also detected something just a little funny in his response as well.

You didn't know what, but something was up with these two men.

Lunch was delicious. Baekhyun took the spot directly beside you, took it upon himself to unwrap your utensils and he placed them just so beside your plate and Chet sat across from you and took it upon himself to unwrap your straw and place it inside your glass for you.

You weren't sure what kind of an imbecile you had appeared to be, but clearly they thought you needed help with something as simple as feeding yourself. You smiled politely to both men. Maybe they were both just overly polite people? Although you knew for a fact that Baekhyun wasn’t

that

polite when it was just the two of you alone.

Something was definitely up with these two men.

Oddities aside from them, you didn't realize just how hungry you were until you took the first bite of your pasta. If this was going to be your only meal of the day you were going to have some carbs dammit.

Baekhyun had grabbed a chocolate dessert with his lunch plate. You recalled him mentioning once that he wasn’t that into sweets but you didn’t want to pry. You did steal occasional glances at the chocolate layers and one such glance had your eyes bouncing up onto his face where he chewed lazily on his sandwich without any care in the world for how lovely those chocolate and vanilla cream layers looked and must taste.

His eyes slipped to the side and he looked at you as he chewed and swallowed casually. He put his sandwich down and his hand slipped over to the dessert plate. With a single fingertip he touched the edge of the plate and he pushed it quietly and carefully in your direction until it sat there beside your pasta as if it had belonged there all along.

Your eyebrows lifted and you widened your eyes in his direction, mouthing a silent and hopeful

‘me?’

He nodded his head once giving you the tiniest shrunch of his nose and he picked his sandwich back up and continued to eat until it was almost gone.

You had abandoned your pasta, you’d had your fill of it. You took the first bite of the chocolate cake and you were pretty sure you could weep. You were also pretty sure you had completely and thoroughly just fallen in love….with the cake. You could so easily be bought and sold with a good chocolate cake. Baekhyun was the winner. Whatever the competition was, if any at all, whatever these weird vibes between them were, as far as you were concerned, it was over with the first bite.

Then lunch and the meeting were actually over and you didn't catch any more strange interactions between Baekhyun and Chet. Perhaps you’d imagined it all. With your belly full and your workload even lighter you graciously accepted the goodbye hug from the tall well meaning man and you even promised that you’d make an attempt to meet him for drinks once this project wrapped. You did, afterall, have an end date in sight at last. And even if you only saw him at the wrap party where there would be drinks, you wouldn’t technically be lying to him right now. He accepted your promise with an extended pinky finger waved into the air as you walked away cheerfully.

Your mood was grand. It was probably the cake and the pasta.

“Ahh, he’s great.” You remarked out loud and from your left you heard a stifled scoff poorly disguised as a cough from Baekhyun. You turned to look at him with wide questioning eyes.

“Chet.” Baekhyun said his name out loud once with an audible emphasis on the T at the end. As if that T was its very own punctuation mark. As if it was its own hilarious punchline.

“What? He’s nice. He’s so good to work with and he’s never given me any trouble at all.” Why you felt the need to defend Chet to Baekhyun you couldn't quite explain.

Technically, Baekhyun hadn’t even said anything bad about him. He just kept saying his name as if that in itself was the problem.

“Chet.” He repeated the name again, slower this time and then he laughed outright into his hand as if it was the funniest joke he’d heard all day. You’d expected one or two chuckles from him. But strangely, and concerningly, it didn’t stop. And worse, it was weirdly contagious. You fought it all you could but you accidentally allowed a few giggles to escape when he was in the thick of the fits of laughter. It had gotten so bad in the elevator up to your office that you had to smack him on the arm to get him to stop laughing and breathe before he passed out. His eyes were watering from it. He was wheezing and he was gasping. You reached up and wiped a tear stain from his cheek and patted him right on the face kind of hard, almost a slap, anything to get it to stop. It didn’t.

You were feeling dizzy as well. You felt drunk on this madness you both found yourself trapped in. It was silly. It was childish. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed so hard. Even something as simple as eye contact with Baekhyun from across the quiet office would set you both off again. And he’d reach for the box of tissues and cover his face completely all the while loudly cackling. You had been overworked, exhausted and stressed maybe and this was a side effect of all of it. Maybe you’d both finally just lost your minds.

He eventually wound back down, calming and then busying himself with actual work.

“Chet.” He said out loud almost an entire hour later, bursting into noisy laughter all over again. You had to actually bite down on your lip to keep yourself from laughing. You were sick of it. Your stomach muscles ached and you were so very, very tired of the giggles.

“No more,” you begged, holding your face in your hands. Your cheeks were sore, everything hurt. Finally you just gave up and left the room to go to the bathroom and splash some water on your face. What was this? You wondered if you’d ever be able to meet with Chet again and just act normal. You definitely couldn't ever meet him with Baekhyun again, that was for damned sure.

Sometime in between redoing your entire face full of makeup that the laughter and the face washing wiped it out, and taking your seventh brisk lap around this hallway you decided it was time to put your foot down.

You were in charge here. This was your department, you had twenty seven subordinates that, on a daily basis, treated you with the utmost respect and followed your orders to the letter. You had made a decision that it was time for Baekhyun to do the same. You didn't care what he called you or who his father was.

You marched back into your office to face him with a plan in place ready to set into motion and you found him in a spot you absolutely didn't expect.

He was sitting behind your desk, in your chair doing a little sideways back and forth wiggle in your spinning office chair. He was humming a soft tune to himself as he carefully and slowly wrote something down with your pen on your pack of post-it notes, underlining and dotting and crossing letters. Your office phone had been moved. You guessed you received a phone call while you were out.

When he saw you walk through the door he looked up at you briefly before looking back down at what he was doing.

“Assistant Byun,” you said firmly. He hummed out in response and continued to write without looking up at you. You were fired up and ready for this and no amount of his distraction techniques were going to work on you this time. You knocked twice on your desk. “Assistant Byun?” You’d called out again and his eyebrows shot up in the middle of his face.

“Yes, yes, I am here. Your Assistant Byun is here, what do you need my esteemed
and magnanimous Manager

Noona

?” He was still in a playful mood it seemed.

“Byun Baekhyun, from today onward you, nor I, are not allowed to say the c-word inside of this office. Do you understand me? The c-word is banned.” You put on your angry and serious voice and Baekhyun’s eyes widened and he looked straight into your face.

“I’m not allowed to say the…c-word?” he paused and his eyes looked down at the post-it note that he had just pulled off the pack and was holding gingerly between his thumb and his index finger.

“The c-word. You are not allowed to say the c-word anymore.” You harnessed the annoyance for the time wasted today. You thought about the hours of work you’d have to do at home to make up for today and you used that to make yourself seem as authoritative as possible. You meant business now. Play time was over. This was serious.

Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrowed and he dropped his chin in confusion.

After a long moment of thought he spoke.

“

Cunt

?” He whispered.

You closed your eyes and inhaled a deep breath. You had completely forgotten about

that

c-word.

“No, Baekhyun. Not

cunt

, Baekhyun.” You gritted your teeth.

“The other c-word from earlier, from the past three hours Byun Baekhyun, the other c-word. You can say

cunt

,” you hissed in annoyance with a hand wave, “You are forbidden from saying that other c-word.” Your frustration from the day was mounting. You rubbed your temples with your fingertips, willing the headache you felt building to subside.

“So, I can say

cunt

in this office?” His voice was louder now and you closed your eyes, threw your head back and inhaled a deep breath. “

Cunt

is okay? The other c-word is not allowed, but

cunt

you are okay with. That right, Boss?”

“Yes. You can say

cunt

if you have to say

cunt

. Do not, under any circumstances, say the other c-word in this office. Am I clear?” When you opened your eyes he was leaning his head far back in your desk chair in a lounging position. He’d pulled the lever below the seat so the seat back leaned way back and he was watching you with that little post it still held gingerly between his fingers and there was a look of smug satisfied amusement on his pretty face.

“Did anything happen while I was away? Why are you in my chair?”

“Well,” he began, sitting up straight and pushing himself up onto his legs as he made his way back around from behind your desk where you were pretty sure you had never given him permission to be. Not that it mattered, he already had access to everything you had access to, just for the sake of the assistant’s job.

“Well?” You urged him to continue and he looked down at the note again, reaching once more for the pen he scratched something off very thoroughly and you caught a quick movement as he wrote something in its place. He stood up now, straightening his shoulders, looking as put together and professional as ever and he straightened his back as he began reading word for word from the post-it note.

“

Cunt

called while you were out and asked if you would like to meet him tonight for drinks. I was sure to let him know that your schedule tonight is full and would be full all week, and I made sure that he knew that you do not have space to fit him in for drinks tonight, as you will be busy all night long, with the wrap.

Cunt

sounded unreasonably upset and just a little bit like a c-word. You are more than welcome, but not in any way obligated, to call him back. From Baekhyun.”

He looked up from the note with wide innocent eyes and his lips pulled into the smallest little pout and you reached forward and grabbed it from him quickly. Sure enough the entire thing was there, word for word. He’d crossed out

Chet

, replacing it with the word with

Cunt

every time.

You were pretty sure you were about two seconds away from a complete nervous breakdown.

You knew when you were beat. It was close enough to quitting time that you merely wadded up the note and tossed it into the nearest trash can and began packing up your laptop and a few things you knew you could work on at home. You knew you had a hard deadline coming up tonight by midnight that you absolutely could not miss but everything was on your laptop, you could simply get it all done and submitted from home.

Your quitting time meant it was also Baekhyun’s quitting time. He helped you pack up a few of your laptop accessories, lifting a few peripherals into the air in silent question. You nodded or shook your head for what you would need and they either went into the bag or they went back to the desk. This quiet communication between the two of you was one of your favorite things about him.

The ride down the elevator to the lobby was peaceful. Today felt like running a marathon. This job was usually stressful and eventful but today had been a whole other monster entirely. You could feel the stress and tension in your shoulders and you longed for a long soak in your bathtub.

Baekhyun walked out of the elevator beside you but in no way did you both have the same destination. You knew he would go out to his car and you would make your way down to the subway. You knew he lived on the opposite side of town from where you lived. The distance had to be maybe a 40 minute drive with this office being a center point. You hoped he got some good rest at home and you knew with your workload you’d have to settle for a 30 minute nap at most.

You’d cleared the elevator hallway and stepped into the open hallway when you saw him. It was Chet, and you caught the back of him seated in a chair having a rather casual and loud conversation with a buddy. You’d recognize the 2nd AE’s toupee atop his head from a mile away. This was definitely not something you needed right now.

Your steps paused and you backed up a quick two steps, hiding behind the wall that divided the elevators from the lobby. You could clearly hear the two men laughing and reminiscing about whatever it was two buddies talked about.

Baekhyun who had been just a step behind you caught your rapid evasive motions and his eyes also zeroed in on and instantly understood the danger in the lobby.

“Oh shit,” he said under his breath. “He doesn’t even work in this building. I bet he’s waiting for you.”

“What do I do? I don't want to go out for a drink. I have a midnight deadline. Is there a back door?” Your voice betrayed your panic and Chet’s noisy words broke through the occasional squeaking of the wheels on the cleaning lady’s bucket as she mopped the hallway floor and curiously glanced at the two of you hiding here behind this wall.

‘Man, she’s got this new cockblocking assistant. Real fucking annoying, one of those pretty boys. I mean like I’m pretty but I’m still manly, you know bro? Anyway, I’ve been working on this chick for like six months which is fucking bullshit, for me, you know that. She’s a fucking tease, a sexy tease, but still. Dude, she likes all of my posts. Yeah, tonight’s the night. I’ve waited enough.’

The air felt thin and you could feel that suffocating sinking feeling in your stomach that sometimes came with these horrible realizations about people you thought you knew. Behind you, you felt his flinch as every muscle in Baekhyun’s body seemed to tense up and he took a step forward.

You reached out a hand and wrapped it securely around his arm and you pulled him back hard.

“I still have to work with him,” you said firmly and you did your best to keep the trembling out of your voice.

Baekhyun was frozen and his ears were bright red with a look of anger like you hadn’t seen before from him set deep inside his eyes.

He was eerily quiet save for the sound of his steady breathing and his fits were white from how tightly he clenched them. What was this strong reaction? It wasn’t like he had that much allegiance to you. Maybe he just hated the sight of those womanizing, degrading types of men who treated women like conquests and objects.

Baekhyun looked around at his surroundings and his focus stopped on the old woman with the mop and squeaky wheeled bucket filled. He was reaching into his pocket and he pulled out a crisp bill, you couldn't quite make out the denomination but it had to be at least $100 and he walked up to the woman with a smile on his face. A few words were exchanged and she quietly nodded and accepted the offering from him, turning and walking away quietly with the mop in her hand, leaving behind her bucket in the center of the hallway, close enough to where Chet sat for you to instantly understand Baekhyun’s intention.

Baekhyun was casual about it. You watched on in awe as he returned halfway to where you were and then made a quick circle, working up some speed he pulled out his cellphone and acted as if he was glued to the thing, completely immersed as he moved fast. He kicked the bucket with enough force for a wall of dirty mop water to go flying. The water was nearly black and it traveled with impressive speed, hitting Chet and soaking almost up to his waist. He yelped out in surprise and Baekhyun yelped out in surprise as he really sold it and fell down onto the floor, grabbing at his shin as if he were in great pain. The cellphone he had in his hands flew and clattered onto the carpet and Chet stood up half surprised, half enraged but too soaking wet to do much other than hobble around.

“What the fuck!?” Chet howled toward Baekhyun who was already being helped up by several concerned onlookers all who looked back at Chet in admonishment for instantly rushing to blame Baekhyun, who was clearly injured here. Chet was just wet. A few of the more sympathetic bystanders tossed a few take-out napkins in his direction.

“Who left that there?” Baekhyun called out in concern and groaned in fake pain.

“Oh no, Chet! Your pants, Bro!” Baekhyun said loudly and you had to cover your mouth with both hands to hide the loud snort of laughter that erupted from your mouth. The commotion itself lasted until Chet grumpily wobbled out of the front door, probably headed back to his own office for a change of clothes. The old woman returned shortly after that with her mop and began soaking up the remains of the liquid and Baekhyun straightened his posture, miraculously recovered from his injury and he sauntered his way back to you with a smile on his lips.

“My dearest Manager

Noona

,” When he reached you, he did so with his palm lifted into the air and a sweet little addition to your title on his lips, “Chet seems to have been called away on an urgent matter and is regrettably unable to join you for drinks this evening.”

“Oh no. What a shame,” you replied with a bright smile for him. You can't remember ever being quite this smiley at work before Baekhyun. If someone were to see you, they’d think you’d gone crazy. Maybe you had.

At least today was Friday. At least after you met your midnight deadline you had a late start tomorrow, you would be able to sleep in. You’d be able to eat breakfast and you’d be able to have a meal at a table like a civilized human. Your Saturday was relatively light compared to what today had been.

You said your farewells to him and you made your way to the subway, settling into the seat as you casually considered the quickest and most efficient way to make your deadline tonight. Your hand passed over the pockets, feeling for the blue external hard drive you always kept there in the pocket of this bag that had vital attachments that had been cleared and vetted by every important department at work to submit to the production teams. You felt with both hands over that space in the bag and found it suspiciously flat and terrifyingly empty. The pocket was empty. The hard drive was not in there. You were already nearly home and you searched your recent memory for clues, where had you left it. Where would it possibly be?

You searched through your memory and came up blank. Where had you seen it last? A feeling dawned suddenly and you remembered something Baekhyun had told you while you had been mentally occupied with something far more important at the time.

‘The blue hard drive is…’

His voice echoed…but you could not recall the rest of his sentence. Is where? Where was it?

You pulled out your cell phone and sent a text.

‘Blue hard drive’

you said those three words and only those three words and your phone was ringing.

You lifted the phone to your ear and before you even said a word Baekhyun was speaking.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I have it. I have the blue hard drive. Shit. This is make or break isn’t it? I forgot to give it to you. Where are you now? I’m turning around. I’m coming to you.”

“I just got home. I’ll text you the address.” You hung up the phone without saying anything else and you quickly sent him your home address. As soon as you’d done it you felt uneasy anxious butterflies swimming around inside of your belly when the realization of this hit you.

Baekhyun was coming to your house and you were about to have a full blown panic attack at the thought of that man alone in here with you.

Byun Baekhyun was coming to your house. He’d given a little thumbs up to the text message with your address and that meant that he was already on his way.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Baekhyun was on his way over to your house. You had no way of knowing how far away he actually had gotten before he turned around but you figured you had maybe 20 minutes. Maybe longer.
Did you have enough time for a shower? You felt the grime and the dirt of the day still all over your skin and your favorite way to start the weekend was with a long soak in the tub. Obviously that wasn’t an option right now but you found yourself racing into your bathroom for a shower instead. At least it would be a way to use up the waiting time instead of sitting on a bar stool in your kitchen and staring at the front door until the doorbell rang. It wasn’t like you could get much work done without the blue harddrive anyway.
Your shower broke speed records. You did what you could with the wet hair and quickly contemplated redoing your makeup. How ridiculous of an idea, putting on makeup right now. But to face this man bare faced with nothing? You opted for just a little. And what to wear? You knew you were overthinking this. You had no control over your overthinking and you had no time for it ether.

He was going to, at most, drop off the blue harddrive and then leave, right? Maybe he would come in just to make sure you were actually able to get the task done, since he’d come all the way over maybe he should stay for a while. Had he eaten dinner yet? Of course he wouldn’t have eaten. A million thoughts were racing through your mind and you quickly reached for just something ultra casual but still kind of cute from your closet. Comfy shorts and a soft top. You didn’t need to always look the part of the ultra professional manager, just because your assistant was ringing your doorbell right now, right?
The sound of that bell sent a jolt of nerves through your belly, you swore you even saw a flash of light somewhere, and in your mind flashed your options for answering that door.

Work, work, work, strictly business mode? How dare you keep my precious blue harddrive young man, don't you know what you almost did? No, no. It was kind of your fault too. You always checked for it before leaving the office. Why you didn't check this time? You’d had plenty of opportunities to check before and the fact that he happened to be carrying it with him instead of being left behind at the office was a blessing because instead of being there, you were home. You’d showered and changed and you were comfy and happy and there was no reason at all for you to be upset about Baekhyun coming over.
So did you go the ultra casual route instead? Welcome to my home. Let me give you the tour. Here is my loveseat — maybe you’d like to sit on it with me. It’s perfectly sized for two consenting adults to sit on together. Here is my kitchen, sorry I only have ramen. Would you like to share some with me tonight?
Maybe ultra casual was a bad idea.

You were out of time for your silly scenarios and when you pulled open your front door you caught a view of the top of Baekhyun’s blonde head. He was bent at the waist and lifted both hands with the hard drive lifted on top. It took only a second for your eyes to catch on to the rest of his appearance.

His hair was wet. His suit jacket had dark water stains on it as well and his slacks were also darker at the bottom legs with very obvious wetness.

“Noona, it didn’t get wet. I protected it with my body.” It took another half second for your ears to catch on to what had to be the sound of heavy rain falling outside. Your floor was a bit high and pretty well insulated from the world but it was odd of you not to notice the rain. You’d been so preoccupied with other things.

“Baekhyun, it’s raining? You should have told me, I would come down with an umbrella.”
You were pulling him inside now. He was a little bit drippy. You were careful to grab the hard drive first due to the sheer importance of its safety, but with it carefully set down next to your work laptop you rushed to the bathroom for a towel and handed it to him.

“I parked kind of far away in a secure lot down the street. There was a big truck right in front and they were—” his face had a wince now and as soon as he lifted the towel to his head his eyes seemed to focus on you for a second as he stopped explaining his reasoning for not just parking outside on the street; his reasoning for why he was so very soaked by the rain right now. You pictured him stuffing the precious hardrive deep inside his coat pocket and fighting the elements with it as he ran through the downpour.

His mouth hung open just a little and you caught the moment he must have registered that yes, you were home, and yes, you maybe had just showered, didn’t have on the usual office attire, nor work makeup on, maybe you were wearing something soft and comfy and so what? You were home. This was your home. It was your favorite place to be, why be uncomfortable at home when you spent 10 hours of every day uncomfortable at the office?

Something about his eyes on you though made you second guess the outfit. Maybe a pantsuit would have been more appropriate. Maybe you should have done something other than just comb your hair. The shorts you were wearing were pretty high cut but they were your absolute favorite to sleep in. The shirt was thin but it wasn’t like it was transparent. This was a normal at home outfit, right? Had you lost your mind completely?

“—they were…?” You spoke out loud, drawing out his last words spoken, trying to get him to continue what he was saying and in the process, interrupting his strange silence.

“Who was?” He whispered and his face dipped forward as he wrinkled his eyebrows in complete confusion.

He was gone somewhere else. You opened your lips to speak and then closed them again. Finding no response for him that was safe enough.

He was standing just inside your doorway and after a few seconds you knew you had to move before the motion light turned off. So you moved — pushing a set of house slippers closer toward him with your bare foot, his eyes looked down catching the motion and without saying anything to him you turned and retreated back inside your apartment.

He could come in. You’d made that invitation evident with the house sippers. It wasn’t like you should be expected to say it out loud right? Some things were so very hard to say out loud.
You quietly settled onto your sofa with your laptop on the coffee table and connected the hard drive; waiting for the happy little notification sound to tell you that everything was going to be just fine — all the while watching the entryway out of the corner of your eye.

When you finally did see him, he had moved up just until to the threshold and he’d removed the wet coat. He found a coat hook and hung it there. The resourceful man could manage well enough on his own. You pulled your eyes to the laptop screen and blinked them purposefully and slowly, willing your focus to stay there. You even furrowed your eyebrows in some attempt to get them to stay put. File folders and dates. Revisions, and final versions. A silent grunt from the back of his throat and slim fingertips that pulled at the top button of a white dress shirt; popping it open with what you thought was much more force than was necessary. The slide of a long black necktie out of its knot and then pulled with force out of its collar until the silken fabric whipped free and hung toward the floor. Checking email attachments. Checking email recipients. Double checking email attachments and checking email recipients. Undoing buttons on cuff sleeves and rolling sleeves up, dear god, forearms with defined muscles— triple checking attachments and recipients and attachments and recipients.

He was moving inside now; wearing your pink slippers on his sock covered feet. As he moved just inside the space so he could place a duffel bag carefully down onto the floor, he squatted in front of it and he was digging inside. Raindrops rolled down the sides of the bag and he used the towel to blot up the moisture.
“ Noona , would it be weird if I changed? I don't like being wet.” The second he turned toward you to speak, you shot your eyes to your laptop screen with impressive speed.

“No, it wouldn't be weird, why would that be weird? We are no longer at work, you are off the clock. I also hate being w-w…like that. Nothing weird about that — ” You recognized the telltale sounds of panic in your own voice and you stopped the next words from coming out of your mouth with a deep shaking inhale through your open mouth, “—at all.” You breathed out the last words to make your sentence complete and you vowed, swore, begged, and pleaded for yourself to calm down and just be normal for once in your entire goddamned life, please — please. Your face felt like it might be on fire.
You lifted a finger and you pointed toward your bathroom door. Maybe you had something that could be considered a non threatening smile on your face. The door was already open and there was no need to point it out. It was very obviously a bathroom. He had already been walking in that direction.

Baekhyun was watching you from about halfway there. He’d stopped his forward progress the second you started rambling and his eyes were wide and his lips were shut. After what felt like about 10 minutes of staring, but was probably only 10 seconds in reality, his eyes bounced around somewhere above the ceiling above your head and he nodded his head twice with his eyes way up there.
Then he swallowed, inhaled a half breath and he let out a high pitched, almost painful sounding, “Yep…Okay,” with a very definite wince on his face. He turned and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

After at least a minute you heard the click of the door being locked.

Well.
That went…bad.
You closed your eyes and groaned out loud. Resting your head in your hands, you wondered if it really came down to it and you had to vomit, would you just do it in the kitchen trash can, or the kitchen sink and risk clogging the pipes, or maybe you’d run to the balcony and puke over the railing. That might be the best option actually because you could also just hurl your body over the railing too and see which hit the ground first.

Your money was on the vomit, but some distant memory from one of your high school science classes brought the words terminal velocity flashing through your head and before you knew it you had a google tab opened up, reading the FAQ page from some reputable science website.

Your curiosity was satisfied. You stared ahead at the closed bathroom door with a decision to make now.

Would you be normal?
Or would you splatter onto the pavement at the same time as your vomit?
These were the only two options you gave yourself. Because the second option sounded just so very bad, you really had no other choice.

You had to be normal. You lifted yourself onto your legs and made your way into the kitchen. Baekhyun had arrived as your assistant but could your assistant also not be a guest in your home? An assistant guest deserved a beverage. Your fridge had a few options. And when you heard the bathroom door open you called out over your shoulder from somewhere inside the fridge.

“Do you want anything to drink? I have some teas, some water, some juice…” You did not mention the beer that sat in the back of the fridge. He had to drive back home later and you weren’t sure what his tolerance might be like.

“Tea is fine,” his voice came from right beside you in this kitchen and you steadied your face with a pleasant smile for him before you turned to face him.

He was watching you with an equally pleasant smile on his own face. He wore a plain white t-shirt now, some light gray sweatpants, and clean white socks on his feet. He’d abandoned your light pink slippers it seemed. You tried not to linger on him for too long. Of course he looked beautiful in his gym clothes. You allowed your eyes half a second max to look at him. Any longer than that was superfluous and unnecessary.

Your smile was slipping and you strengthened it.

“Green, black, or a citrusy one?” His eyes slipped down the length your face when you spoke again. But he was quick with an inhale and he also matched your smile before he responded.

“Surprise me.” He bit down on his bottom lip and you reached a blind hand into the fridge grabbing randomly.

You came out with the green tea and held it out for him to grab, reaching a second hand for the same for yourself, you quickly made an escape back to the safety of the work. The work would save you, as it often did when you were faced with having to look too closely at Baekhyun.

This time instead of sitting on the sofa, you opted to sit down on the floor in front of your coffee table. The floor had plenty of space for him to also sit beside you without it being on the loveseat, which you right now decided was off limits to the both of you.

“Noona,” Baekhyun said after a while of watching you stare at your screen as you worked harder and better than you’ve ever worked in your entire life.

“Hmm?” You didn’t look over at him when he spoke, but you did stop the typing and you did raise a single eyebrow as a cue that yes, you responded to him and yes you were giving him enough of your attention to say whatever he had wanted to say.

He didn’t speak right away though and eventually the curiosity about his silence grew.
When you found him he was watching your face and his head lifted ever so slightly to have your actual attention.

“You’re different at home.” It was a quiet observation this time, and behind his eyes you could see the smile there. He lifted the bottle of tea and took the smallest sip. He wasn’t looking at you anymore but you wondered what he meant by different.
“Like bad different?”

He swallowed the tea and was looking across the room at a wall of art you had assembled there.

“Nope,” he said cryptically, drawing out the vowel sound in the word and letting his lips pop with the P at the end and he pushed himself off the floor to his feet and made his way across the space to look at each piece you remember carefully hanging up the week you moved in. It was all silly art. Nothing valuable but every single bit of it made you happy whenever you looked at it.

“Different how?” It was probably the clothes. You were way too dressed down and you probably seemed like a different person to him. You couldn’t quite help the slight upset that you felt somehow. Like maybe you should have put on a little bit of makeup, or done something with your hair before he came. Maybe you should have put off the shower altogether. You held in the strange negativity you felt by his comment and held your breath when you saw the inhale he took as he turned away from the brightly colored hand painted horse wearing an eye patch painting he had been looking closely at.

“Different, different,” he said cryptically and you groaned out loud at being baited by his non answer.

Damn him. You heard the giggle in response and he shook his head at you with a tiny pop out of the tip of his tongue. This would not do.

“Just tell me, like different in a bad way or a good way?” you felt yourself being tricked by this but you felt so powerless. He was very good at it and he had seemed to have perfected his skills over the course of working with you.

“It’s not bad,” he said after a while of looking at you and there was a slow and steady sinking of his playful smile as he did it.

“You can have next Tuesday afternoon off if you just tell me,” you said it flippantly and you were almost completely finished with your work. An entire hour before the deadline. You could feel the end nearing. You could almost taste the bubbles of the beer you would sip on and you could already hear the music you would play on your speakers as you settled into the warm comforting pillows and fluffy blankets of your bed.

“The whole afternoon?” His eyes widened and his eyebrows lifted at the promise you apparently had just made to lose your assistant for an entire afternoon. At least you’d picked one of the less busy days to offer.

You casually shrugged and hit send, submitting everything you needed to submit, you saved your work on the cloud database that management all used and you began to close out all of those damned tabs that kept you chained to this work life.

“Okay, well, at work you're super professional and kinda scary and very intimidating,” oh boy he was talking now. Did he just call you scary? You could feel yourself making a face. It wasn’t one of your best. There was a pout involved.

“But here, you’re like,” his confidence seemed to falter and his eyes didn’t look at yours but rather did a little dance off to the side, “d-different.”

“I know you didn’t just use the exact same word I’ve asked you to define three times now, Byun Baekhyun.” You’d had enough and you snapped. It wasn't your finest moment.

You saw him physically flinch and then he started talking fast. In your defense you did feel a little bad when you saw the flinch.
“Different like, soft and cute different. Soft and cute, like a girlfriend would be different. That kind of different, Jesus.” He said all so fast and you could see the tension in his jaw as the words came out. “I mean, but not right now, you were very much exactly the same as you are at work, just now.” His eyes were wide and his finger was pointing as he spoke his last bit. Not that that part mattered because your mind replayed the parts he said before.

You saw sparkly little starbursts around the letters as they danced inside of your head.

Soft and cute.

Like a girlfriend.

“Oh,” was all you could manage to say. A slight flush crept up your cheeks and you focused all of your attention on unplugging cords on your laptop and oh so carefully putting everything in its rightful spot in the bag.

“I’m done,” you said softly without looking into Baekhyun's face. If he had anything further to add to that description of how very different you were at home, he didn’t offer it freely and you also didn’t ask a single follow up question.

You could feel a moment approaching. A kind of do-or-die moment. A speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace moment.

It was still raining outside. You could hear the steady drops hitting your patio through the sliding glass door and the nighttime city lights blurred as the falling water pulled the city view into a distorted and warbled mix of bright colors.

“It’s still raining out,” you said softly in his general direction and his eyes pulled up from where a comfortable stare had kept him looking into your eyes. He did not ask anything from you that required an answer. He looked at you and his eyes blinked but he didn’t speak. You could see that his drink was almost finished now, just as your work had been.

When he finally did speak it was after you’d both been watching the other for too long, wondering who would break first. It kind of seemed like his turn now, you’d managed the comment about the rain.

“Noona,” he said from the spot beside the horse.

I should go. I should leave. I have a long drive back home.

It’s getting late and the roads are wet, Baekhyun, you should stay at least for a while longer. You haven’t had any dinner have you? Let’s eat together. Don't go just yet. You only just got here.

“Hmm?” You hummed in response to him and your voice got halfway caught in your throat, making it come out as mostly air.

“ Noona , I think—” He stopped speaking. He was looking ahead of himself holding on to the empty bottle of processed sugary green tea and he stood there with his eyes blinking faster now than when he started speaking to you.

And then his smile came. Oh it was bright and it was lovely, that smile that filled up his face, it didn’t reach his eyes entirely because he was shaking his head back and forth with the smile on his lips.

“Nevermind, Noona . I should go,” He said it softly and cheerfully and then he was moving. “Your Assistant has to leave.”

His smile was so bright and whatever he had been about to say to you was snuffed out instantly by the brightness and the forced cheerful way he declared his intent to leave this place; to leave you.

You had to respond in kind. You stood up quickly and you hid away every little bit of evidence of disappointment you might have betrayed and you played along with happiness about his departure. Maybe he really was glad to go. Maybe he was exhausted from the very long day and longed for the peace of his own home.

This was for the best, of course it was.

“Oh, okay.” You said. It came out a little bit like a whisper, but you still had that smile on your face so that meant something.

He was gathering his things and he was leaving. You couldn't blame him. He had done his part and completed the job needed today. He made sure to bring the blue harddrive to you and he saved the day, just like a good assistant did. The best assistant.

Baekhyun left quietly.
When the door closed there was a new silence in your home that you instantly hated. It was thick and it coated you from the top of your head down our shoulders and made you feel heavy. Lightning struck somewhere in the distance and it was loud enough for you to subconsciously begin counting the seconds to see how far away it was.

A few seconds later you heard the boom and you wished you had made him take an umbrella with him.

You wished he had stayed. You wanted him to stay. You wanted him to finish his thought. What was he about to tell you?

‘Noona, I think-‘

You’d give him a whole week off if he could come back and finish that sentence.

Your feet weren’t quite working. That claggy feeling that had taken over your body made your legs sticky and heavy and you were still standing by the door obsessing over those three words you heard repeated again and again in his voice for how long, you weren’t certain about. Through at least a few more thunderclaps though.

Just when you’d worked up the nerve to walk away from the door you heard an impossible sound ring out in your apartment.

It wasn’t thunder, but it hit you with just as much of a shock that you jumped and yelped in surprise from it.

It was the doorbell.

Someone was ringing your doorbell and it took you a few seconds to recover from the shock. You leapt forward and put a hand on the doorknob.
What if some crazy person had just seen Baekhyun leave and was waiting to hack you to bits with an ax?

You were cautious with it. It was close to midnight now and outside there was thunder and lightning, the perfect kind of weather to hide some poor woman’s screams as she was chopped to bits with an ax.

You tiptoed just enough to see through the peep hole and you could clearly make out the familiar blond head of hair and bright waving smiling face of your very own Byun Baekhyun. He held up his hand, displaying a plastic bag from what you assumed was the convenience store downstairs and you turned the handle and pushed it open.

“Noona!” He shouted as soon as the door was open. “Noona, you will not believe the day I have had at work.”

You were absolutely positive that your face looked only like wild with genuine shock and confusion, which he was flat out ignoring it right now.

“Baekhyun, what—” You began as you pulled the door open. He had a forward momentum about him though and you had to step aside to avoid being bumped as he walked right into your house, for the second time tonight, only this time, doing some sort of a bit. He walked with confidence and with purpose as if he had been here many, many times before.

“I just had to come and visit my favorite Noona to tell her all about my insane day,” he swallowed in the middle of his explanation. His eyes had a frantic look to them. “—my insane work day where I work with my manager?” His eyebrows were lifted in your direction expectantly and you watched his face with much of that exact same look of shock and confusion on your face. Only there was a bit more acceptance beginning to grow.

His bright smile did not quit and you found yourself betraying the tiniest hopeless laugh as you merely followed his steps inside your kitchen where he plopped down a six pack of beer and several bags of what looked to be snacks and assorted instant noodles.

Something felt different this time. You didn’t know how in the hell he did it but maybe it was because he was referring to your job and your manager title in the third person now, you really felt so much more at ease watching him walking around your kitchen doing things like putting some water on to boil in the kettle and reaching for chopsticks from your utensil drawers.

“So…” he began after opening two beers and handing one of them to you. He didn’t speak right away but he did lift his beer up and clink it against yours ever so slightly. You found an easy spot to sit and watch whatever this show he was putting on was from the bar stool on the other side of your kitchen counter. You had to admit, your mood was miles away from where it had been before your doorbell rang. The smiles felt natural and came easily to you now. This version of Baekhyun was the best one yet.
“So,” you lifted the beer to your lips and took a sip. “Tell me about your day.” You somehow felt that this was the right line for you and you reached for a bag of chips and ripped it open. This felt like exactly what you needed actually. A little gossip with a friend who thinks of you as his favorite Noona . The strangest excitement was building inside of you as he sighed dramatically and lifted his hands to his face for the sake of the story.

“It all started this morning Noona , I fucked up. I fucked up big time,” your mouth was full of chips and you crunched through the revaluation of this big mistake he had made.

“It can’t have been that bad,” you said through bites, faking ignorance for the sake of this game.
“So you know this big presentation that has been coming up? Like weeks we’ve been working our asses off, my manager harder than anyone? Well right before the presentation I made a huge mistake. Huge. Like world-ending.”

Your mind flashed back to the morning of this very long day. You knew the exact mistake he was talking about but he seemed to be working toward something here so you took another sip of your beer and ate some more chips as a response.

“Can’t have been that bad,” you repeated again. Your acting skills were always a little bit lacking. “What did you even do, it’s not like you did something like…kissed her right before she went on stage, right?”

His hands were covering his open mouth and you heard a dramatic gasp. “How did you know?” He said convincingly and you felt a big laugh escape.

“Wild guess, Baekhyun,” you said through laughter. Never in a million years did you think you would be talking about this with him and actually enjoying yourself. What kind of magician was he?
“So what did she do? What about the presentation”

“She fucking killed it, of course. I knew she would though, she’s incredible. I’m not kidding, she’s like,” his eyes were full and wide and he threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling, “like no one else.”

“So, it wasn’t that bad then, right? Why did you do it?” The fun on the surface game took on a slight feeling of trouble with your next question. You reached for another chip and Baekhyun turned his back on you to grab the screaming tea kettle from the stove.
“Why else does a guy kiss a girl?” You heard him say with his attention down on the boiling water that he was pouring into a single large sized bowl of instant ramen.

You bit down on your bottom lip and you watched the slight wobble in the water as it went into the paper bowl. His grip on the kettle seemed just a little unsteady now.

“Could there be lots of reasons why?” You began as unsteadily as the stream of water poured into the ramen bowl.

“Like maybe you just made a mistake, or didn’t mean to do that, or—”

His eyes looked up into yours with as much disbelief as he could manage and he exhaled a hard breath out of his nose and you pulled your lips closed quickly before you could come up with any more nonsense reasons for that kiss.

You knew with that single look from him, just how full-of-shit he found every single one of your reasons for the kiss. Still your mind had trouble connecting his intentions and the action itself. It was as if you’d been so far into the pit of denial now that you were having trouble finding the footing to crawl your way out of it. Baekhyun was trying to throw you a rope but you missed catching it every single time.

“Well, what did she say about it?”

His hands lifted the ramen and he put it up onto the counter beside you so the noodles could soften and you watched as he grabbed his beer and he walked around the kitchen island to take the bar seat right beside you.

He was very close to you now.

You could feel his arm against your shoulder when he sat down and his brows furrowed as he looked down into the covered bowl that sat between you both.

“She got mad at me after that,” he said softly, aiming his little pout toward the noodles instead of at you. “I don't think it was because I kissed her, but maybe it was. I don't know.” From his chest came a big sigh that absolutely did not feel like part of this whole act. In fact, every single thing he said had just enough of a touch into your eyes that you knew he meant every word he was saying to you now.

“This is why I’ve come to you, my very favorite Noona, for advice.”

He propped an elbow up on the counter and tilted his head, leaning against his hand. His eyes were watching you and he had just the smallest smile on his lips as he did it. His eyes sparkled in your direction and you felt the air around your head take on a static tingle the longer he looked at you like this.

This Baekhyun was so very dangerous simply because he was so disarming. All you wanted was to look into his face and to answer each and every one of his questions. All you wanted was to tell him the truth of it all.

It was terrifying.

“Maybe,” you began cautiously and his eyes blinked at you expectantly as you began to speak, practically rooting for you to go on with their eagerness. You had to bite down on your lip to keep from laughing. How could he have managed to pull this conversation out of you? You were falling for it so easily. You even found yourself wanting to fall for it as easily as you were. You felt bewitched and beguiled and you realized that you might have actually lost this battle a long time ago.

“Maybe?” He said softly and he broke eye contact to open the lid and check on the noodles.

“Maybe she was mad at how you acted after the kiss?”

This suggestion brought a tilt to his head and he furrowed his eyebrows and searched his memory for a moment.

“How I acted? How did I act? Because I was nervous? Does she only like super confident guys?” You caught a souring of his face for a moment. “Maybe that’s why she liked Chet. All of that undeserved and unearned confidence. Ugh”

“Hey, she never liked Chet. Not like that. Chet was okay to work with, but that’s it.” You lifted your hands to draw a hard imaginary line in the air to emphasize your point.

“And besides, it might not have been about confidence or being nervous, Baekhyun. Maybe she got mad because you immediately switched from calling her something sweet like ‘Noona’ to something cold and sterile and ultra aloof like ‘Miss Manager’ and she thought that maybe you instantly regretted kissing her because you didn’t even mean it and you wished you could take it back and leave and never ever come back.”

Now you had done it. You could feel every cell in your body alive and on full alert from this sudden confession you had somehow been tricked into spewing out all over this countertop and Baekhyun was watching your face very closely for every single word of it.

He stared at you for a long time in silence and there was a slight sinking of his eyelids as he did it. After a while he inhaled a slow and steady breath that must have made his head feel too heavy because he tilted his head a tiny bit to the side and swallowed.

You could feel the time passing through this. You could feel every raindrop that fell on your patio outside. You could count the beats of your heart that echoed inside your ears and he wasn’t speaking at all.

Until he spoke at last.

“Nah, that’s not it.” He said after a deep inhaled breath and you swear to god you felt the earth open up below your feet and swallow you up. Or maybe you just wished it would.

Your eyes opened wide and looked up into the ceiling. You could feel the saliva inside of your mouth refuse to go down even though you swallowed like five times in rapid succession. Finally you couldn't stand to witness any more at all and you closed your eyes up tight and tried to focus on getting your heart rate or your breathing to calm down. It didn’t help much.

It felt horrible and humiliating. You were too close to being overcome. How could he…did he really intend to let you say all of that, admit to all of that and just…laugh at you for it like this? You felt close to an upset. You could feel the heat building behind your eyes and you knew you couldn't do this for very much longer and keep in control of your emotions. You’d already given way too much away.

It was two or three fingertips and that touched over the side of your face that first did it - that brought you out of it. Someone was touching you. Someone was begging you now. You felt the warmth on your face.
Those two fingertips on your cheekbone and you allowed your eyes to open just a little and you turned your focus over to face him. His eyes were on you now and you felt more of his slim fingers slipping along your face until you had turned into him and between the tremble in your lips and the warmth you felt all over your face; it must have felt like a fever with his hand on you like this.

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding. It was a bad joke, baby , I’m sorry,” he was whispering now but he had moved in so close to you that everything he spoke was like headphones sending his whispered words directly into your chest. The new name he called you in that careful cautious whisper of his spread through your chest like wildfire and you were consumed by it. It called to you again and again.

baby

Did he really just—
Did he really call you that with his hand on your face and the warmth of his own forehead leaning against your own and your whole body nearly ready to burst into flames under the heavy weight of his hand on your face?

You felt his other hand now, landing on the other side of your face and there was a pull to look up into his eyes. You had been avoiding them until now.

The pressure of this room made it hard to breathe with him so close to you and with the ghost of that ‘ baby’ was still dancing around behind your eyes.

“ Noona , I think,” he spoke softer now and your mind sharpened to the words he had told you earlier, the words he tried to say before he left, before he left as your assistant and came back to you just as Baekhyun; as just your Baekhyun. You must be dreaming. This didn’t feel real.

His words, the familiarity of them and desperately you repeated them to yourself after he left, these words once again teased on the tip of his tongue, they pulled your eyes into his and he was watching you from much too closely for you to really be able to focus on anything but the deep brown color of his eyes.

“ Noona , I think we like each other.” He was looking into your eyes when he said it and you had no words to refute it. It was true for you and it must also be true for him.

You felt the warmth of his breath that came in short bursts from his parted lips against your face and when you leaned into him you felt the softness those pink lips mold into your own when you kissed him.

You felt the deafening silence as every single voice of reason and each and every alarm bell inside of you went still when you kissed him.

You felt the lighting strike hit close enough this time to send a bolt straight through your chest when you kissed him.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“

Noona, I think we like each other.”

You felt the deafening silence as every single voice of reason and each and every alarm bell inside of you went still when you kissed him.

You felt the lighting strike hit close enough this time to send a bolt straight through your chest when you kissed him.

———

Somewhere deep inside your chest, somewhere tiny and somewhere hidden, you were vibrating. You felt the steady hum of it.

Baekhyun’s lips were so soft and when you pressed your own into his, you felt the smallest movement from him in response. His response was gentle and yielding. He gave in to you so easily as you kissed him. You took what you wanted and he gave it to you.

Baekhyun’s face was still. His eyes took a little bit longer to open and when he did his heavy eyelids resisted. With pink cheeks and lips still wet from the kiss, he lazily pulled his heavy eyes open, you were caught again in the warm deep brown of them. The hands that had held your face earlier had broken the contact with the warm skin of your face when you had kissed him. His hands were frozen now, lifted in their former place but the man was too quiet, too stunned, too motionless in the still and quiet moments after you had kissed him.

After a few seconds he closed his eyes and drew in a breath of air that stuttered on its way in and out again and he laid the palm of his hand over his chest, lightly setting it just over his chestplate, giving a slow and gentle and almost undetectable tap, tap as he breathed through it.

It only took you a few moments of sitting in the aftermath but slowly, and one by one, your thoughts and your many worries came back to you. You gave your head a tiny shake and you rolled your eyeballs around inside of your head and you could feel each one slipping its fingers running them around your rim. You were vibrating. You could feel the hum when you lifted a hand to your own chest. It wasn’t your heart beat nor your breathing.

You’d done it. The President’s son. Your charge that had been carefully placed into your hands to care and to nurture and help grow — you’d done it. Each and every carefully grown, polished, expertly placed year of your career and every single painstakingly ripped and clawed your way through the competition milestone and award you had bled for, and every single sleepiness night; every single soul sucking week after week, month after month so you could get to the top; every single fucking thing you have spent your entire life working toward — you could feel the thoughts racing and with each new realization that hit you like a train your breathing puffed out faster and harder from your chest and you had to close your eyes through it. You had to turn your head away from him and you lifted a trembling hand to your face, covering your lips with the palm of your hand.

“Shit,” you said from below the skin of your hand.

Baekhyun must have been alerted by your trembling hands, or maybe it was the very same swear word uttered in nearly the exact same tone as he had used to say it this morning.

You fucked up. Just as he declared that he had fucked up and there was simply no taking this back and rewinding and pretending like it had never happened.

“Hey-” his voice called from somewhere close to you, “hey, hey, no. No, don't say that,” he was whispering beside you. You felt his arms then. He was standing up it seemed and you felt a strong and steady warmth coating you as he wrapped both of his arms around your shoulders, bringing a warm hand up over the top of your head. You smelled him everywhere in this and you found yourself pressed firmly inside the firmness of his chest as he held you so tightly in his arms.

“No, this feels terrible, is that what I said to you after I kissed you? Jesus, I get it. Please don't say that.” His arms were squeezing you tighter and you found movement impossible and the oxygen in here pressed up against the white t-shirt he wore with the heat and the warmth of his chest under the thin fabric. You had a hand in here as well, thoroughly squished by the tightness of the hold he kept on you and you had to breathe, you had to wiggle your hand, pushing against him slightly, anything so he could loosen the hold just a little bit.

“I won’t let you go until you take it back,” he said with an impossible tightening of his arms around you. You were going to die right here smothered between this man’s pectoral muscles. There was some bargaining taking place in the back of your mind. There was some acceptance happening back there as well as you weighed the two deaths. This way: smothered by his boobs, which actually had been featured in one of your more recent late night fantasies, certainly seemed preferable to the vomit-covered splatter fall to the pavement you’d contemplated earlier. Plus he did smell very nice. You could think of worse ways to go.

You did your best to nod your head. He felt the movement and responded by relaxing his body around you just enough, just enough for you to pull your head out of his shirt and lift your face and take deep satisfying cooling breath from the fresh air over your head. Your hand was still pinned right beside your face, a kind of zombie claw coming up out of the ground.

“Let me go—hmm?” you pleaded in a whisper.

“But, you’ll run away,” he replied with a severe pout.

“I don't have anywhere to run. I live here.” It felt like a weird hostage negotiation.

“You’ll find somewhere to run, you are very crafty and very smart.”

“Baek-hyun,” you squeaked out the words and he looked down at you, still very much wrapped around you, extremely close and with one of the most serious expressions set very deep inside his brown eyes. “It’s impossible,” you whispered into the tiny space between your lips and his lips.

“Whatever it is that you’re thinking inside that beautiful head of yours, I need you to stop. It’s not impossible. It’s not even close to impossible. Time travel is impossible. Moving things with your mind, that is impossible— I tried. This is just two people that like each other, nothing could be more possible than that.” His eyes searched over your face as he spoke and you his lips hung open as he exhaled his breath over your lips again. The heat that traveled over your face had you gasping for air again, even though he had loosened his hold on you, you felt that pull into him again as he spoke passionately about what you were still pretty sure could not be really happening.

“

Noona

,” you saw the effects of your most recent negative thoughts roll over his back as he did his absolute best to push them away. His eyes sunk closed and you saw the furrow of his eyebrows as a somewhat pained expression landed on his pretty face. You didn’t like it. From this close up, you did not like to see him like this, in any state of unhappiness.

“

Noona

,” he repeated again as he inhaled once more, “I think my feelings are hurt.” He gave your whole body the smallest shake of complaint. You were blindsided by how cute it was and you felt your flimsy resolve shake at its foundation with the tiny earthquake he just gave you.

His eyes glanced down at you for a second and you looked up at him with that same look of uncertainty as you had before. This time you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and you bit down lightly, not hard enough to cause any pain but definitely hard enough for something like a smile to break though.

You heard a soft whine from the back of his throat now, and he shook you again. His arms appeared to be linked tightly around your back. It was evident that you weren’t going anywhere until you both had come to some sort of agreement. You heard a deeply dissatisfied sigh from way deep down in the pit of his stomach and you only had so much you could take before you felt yourself crumble in his arms.

“Baekhyun, what? What do you want me to do about your hurt feelings?”

“I don't know. Make it better,” he grumbled. You closed your eyes and bit down on your lip again.

“How can I?” You asked under your breath and when you opened your eyes he was watching your lips as you spoke. Reading your lips whisper. Reading your struggles and your frustration in them. “How can I, how can we—” the words trailed off and their meaning hung heavy on your tongue.

Impossible.

You would lose everything.

“We just do,” he whispered back into the space that kept you both separated. “You do, and I do and we just—” He shook his head back and forth ever so slightly. There were no answers here.

Only miracles.

His lips still held a pout. His pink bottom lip stuck out just enough for the upset to still be evident on his face. The impossible situation you’d drawn attention to and his frustration and hurt feelings and all of it sat there dripping off his bottom lip.

You looked up and you leaned in. Your own mouth opened over his lips and you pulled him into you. You heard the sounds from his throat, low and groaning at the sudden kiss. Again, only this time you kissed him for the upset. To rid him of that silly storm cloud that had settled over his head with your talk of impossibilities and your thoughts of doom and gloom.

Baekhyun’s lips parted for you and as he received your kiss he offered his own, pushing himself further into you, you felt the tip of his tongue slipping along the softness of your lip, painting along the edge of your teeth, and the suction of his lips as he pulled lightly against the flesh, you felt him bite down with his teeth as he did it.

You couldn't even remember the last time someone kissed you this way, as if under a spell in which every insatiable human urge needed to be satisfied at once.

With every gasp for air there was an undeniable need for more and with every touch of his hands over your skin, every wandering of your own hands over the smoothness of his chest, you came to realize a point of no return was quickly coming to a head and if you were going to stop it, you should act now.

You had to pull away from his mouth, and you had to do it for the sake of your own sanity. You left him with his heaving breaths and his lips hung open and all of that body heat and firmness and tension that you felt all over his body and you had to physically extract yourself from it. It took considerable effort and after a few seconds of feeling all of that cool air over your skin, your mind finally began to grab ahold of itself enough for just a few rational thoughts to finally sink their way inside.

This day; this evening, it snowballed with incredible speed. You felt blindsided by it.

You must have both recognized the danger. Baekhyun leaned against the countertop with his eyes still closed and his breathing finally settling, and you were still close enough to reach out and touch him, but you no longer found yourself trapped in his arms.

You inhaled and exhaled a deep breath and the sound of it pulled his eyes to you for a moment. After a few breaths of his own you saw the smile that appeared on his lips. That pretty smile that touched his eyes and overcame him for just a second. He had to close his eyes for it. It was contagious and you felt your own lips pulling into a small smile, you exhaled a small chuckle as you shook your head back and forth.

“Are you still upset with me?” You knew he wasn’t. You still had to ask.

You didn’t want him to ever be upset with you. That feeling was so strong and overwhelmingly certain inside of you. You tilted your head with the small question you asked him and he watched you with wide blinking eyes and one of his eyebrows bounced up and back down again. His smile was back only he had quit looking at you in favor of throwing his head back and rolling his eyes over the ceiling of your kitchen.

That smile felt like a drug. The small chuckle that burst from his chest was even better and when his tongue slipped out of the corner of his mouth and he bit down on his lip and his eyes slipped once again over to you. The look in his eyes was something you hadn’t been prepared for. You knew this look and it was only trouble. There was longing in there. There was desire and there was lust and there was only one destination with him looking at you this way.

Emergency evasive actions had to be taken for both of your sake if not for the mere fact that you had only just confessed your feelings to each other less than an hour ago and you refused to allow your insane attraction to the man get the better of you.

When you dropped the eye contact and cleared your throat, in some attempt to reel yourself in, you heard him make a sound and from the back of his throat. It was half of a throat clearing, half of some animalistic growl that you tried your best to ignore and you reached for the half full beer can. You put it to your lips, poured the liquid into your mouth, and you tasted nothing of what you swallowed but at least it was something to do with your hands. At least it was a welcomed distraction from the man who at this very moment was doing the exact same thing with his beer. He’d emptied his and you watched him wander from this dangerous spot beside you around to your kitchen trash can into which he noisily dropped the can. It clanked to the bottom and at the same time you heard the boom of another thunderclap from that storm that still raged outside.

It was bound to rain all night long. You wondered if you’d be able to get any sleep tonight.

You noticed he wasn’t reaching for another beer and you figured it was because he knew he would need to drive home at some point.

Your mind wandered through the events of the evening, landing curiously somewhere at the beginning when he first showed up.

What had he told you then?

“Why didn’t you park out front again?” You remembered he’d mentioned a truck, and something else was tickling at your mind as you looked at the clock and saw it nearing 1am now. “Where did you say you parked your car?”

You were asking him real questions now and he gave his head a tiny shake as he pulled his fortitude back into his sane mind so he could have this little conversation with you.

“Uhh…,” he began, and he widened his eyes a bit to clear away the fuzz, “yeah there was a moving truck parked in the front. I thought they might need the space to load up, so I had to park inside a secure lot on the corner.” He cleared his throat after he said it and your brow furrowed as you tried to think of any other lot besides the one that you knew closed for the evening between midnight and 5am, which was part of what made it a secure lot.

You did your best with it, but that was the only lot you knew of existence in this neighborhood.

Your stomach sank just a little bit.

“Baekhyun, the lot on the corner?”

He nodded his head as if he seemed only mildly curious about why you were discussing this right now.

“They lock it up at midnight,” you said flatly. Your eyes blinked steadily at him and you bit down hard on your bottom lip before inhaling to add another fact that you knew about this lot. “It doesn’t open until morning. That’s why it’s a secure lot. There will be no way for you to get your car out until morning.”

He was watching your face with more interest now. After a few moments of him staring his brows furrowed deeply, he inhaled and hissed his response, “Why would they do that?”

He gave his head a shake, as if this made no sense.

“What did you do?” You whispered in response, lifting your hand in his direction in question and you hopelessly fought the smile on your face as best you could, but something in you found this little blunder of his to be weirdly funny. You let a little giggle escape and you lifted your hand up to cover it up.

“I just gave them my car but I thought they would give it back to me,” he whispered back at you with his hand also lifted in the same way you had done and you were laughing outright at him now.

“Guess I’ll have to take a taxi,” he said to himself and another thunder boom sounded in the distance. Your giggles quieted down and Baekhyun was looking down at your counter from the safety of the other side now, away from where you sat on this stool having your own little struggles with the thought of sending him out in a taxi in this storm.

Baekhyun was slowly tracing the edge of your kitchen counter with his fingertip. It was an aimless and mindless motion and your eyes followed the path his finger took until he took a step and reached the end closest to your front doorway. You saw his focus land on a few things you kept there. You had a little dish with some loose change. You had a few sets of keys that opened various locks, some that you remembered, some that you did not. Some baubles and some things that just happened to land there when you got home. His hand landed around a small bottle of perfume that you kept there so you could spray some on your skin or on your neck before you headed out the door in the mornings, and either his curiosity or his brazen nosiness had him lifting the bottle and uncapping it to place it against his nose for a sniff.

“Is this what you wear?”

You hummed out your response, admitting that yes, lately that was your go-to scent.

Baekhyun sprayed once on his wrist and lifted a hand to his nose, coming back with a pout on his lips. Did he not like it? Was it too cheap for his expensive tastes and he found it unpleasant compared to something that you were sure he would buy for himself?

“Smells different on me,” he said after a while and he took two or three steps to close the distance between you both, leaving the bottle of perfume back where he had picked it up.

His hand was extended and you instinctively turned your nose into his wrist to see what he meant. You smelled the notes of the perfume that you loved. You smelled it paired with his skin and it smelled pretty good you thought. You gave a questioning shrug in response and he stepped in closer to you again, pushing his hand forward so his wrist grazed lightly against your neck this time, transferring the still damp perfume onto the skin of your neck just below your earlobe.

“Here,” he said softly and he was leaning his face, pushing his nose into your hair and breathing deeply and slowly from the skin below your ear, “here, you smell so good.”

A match was struck somewhere inside of your body and you felt goosebumps spread over your skin with his face so close to the skin of your neck like this. Everywhere, your skin pulled and prickled and as if against your will, your head tilted to the side giving him access to you. The softness of his cheek brushed against your cheek as he made his way down and when he pulled that breath deep into his lungs you felt your eyes close up and the air you gasped for got stuck halfway inside of your throat. The effect made a sound come out of you. The want pushed your hands forward and you wrapped them around his waist, pulling him into you. You’d been sitting on the stool and when you pulled him his hips landed between your parted knees and there was a fire spreading very quickly.

You heard the low throaty moan from his chest and it echoed through your eardrum, vibrating against your neck where you felt his soft lips press a kiss into the skin below your ear.

You were on fire. You pulled him harder into you with your arms tightening around his waist and you gave in to the urge to let your knees part, feeling him stepping in just enough. You could feel the effects you had all over his body and when he pressed himself between your legs you couldn't help the moaning sound that escaped from your throat. You felt your control slipping. The man was making you let go of every single rule you’d ever lived by and you could feel deep down in your bones a desperation building within you.

Baekhyun lifted his face to look into yours and his eyes were half closed with that same look of heady desire deep in those eyes.

He dipped his face into yours and you felt softness as his lips placed the smallest kiss on your lips. You responded with a puff of air and he pulled his face up again, seeking out your eyes with his own dark ones.

He moved in close again, pressing another tiny kiss over your lips and he immediately pulled up again, his eyes searching all over your entire face as his fingertips smoothed the hair around your temples, clearing it from your skin before he placed another tiny kiss on your face, beside your rapidly blinking eyelid; his next kiss was peppered delicately just over your cheekbone followed quickly by the smallest kiss over your jaw.

He was back again, those eyes were back on you and when he moved in to kiss you on the lips once more you responded. You opened your mouth to him pulling the tip of his greedy tongue inside of your mouth again, needing more of his lips and his tongue and his teeth with only the need for air stopping you from speending hours and days and weeks inside of his mouth.

And then he was back at your neck, only this time instead of inhaling he had an exhaled whisper on his tongue.

A question to ask you.

“

Can I stay

-” he breathed, “

here with you

-” his words were gasping, “

til’ the morning?

”

You wanted him. You wanted to keep him here with you and you wanted to keep him forever.

He was looking into your face again, with half closed eyes, swollen pink lips and that dark look in his irises. You knew what his question was. You could feel the desire in every cell of your body. You could feel the heat he pushed between your legs, desperate for some relief.

Your head nodded on its own. Your body responded to him without any effort on your part at all and even if you had wanted to push him away, you were too wrapped around him to physically be able to.

You knew what this was. It was stronger than either of you could stand.

After your nod, his lips were back to your ear, whispering again, setting your skin ablaze again with those sinful sentences of his. “

Won’t you take me to your room

?” he asked.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes I will.

Yes we can go there.

Somehow you found your legs were still working and somehow you found the courage to take those steps.

It is just over here

, you guided him without speaking as your mind raced, all a jumble of anxious nerves and disbelieving the fact that you were really doing this. You walked and he followed and somewhere inside of your bedroom with the lights turned off and only a small table lamp in the shape of a bird that you had purchased simply because it was cute, illuminated in the corner, you heard the smallest question from him.

“Is that a bird?” Of course he would notice it. It was the only light on in the room and it was fucking awesome. His eyes would be drawn to how sharp the lines were, how clean the design was and how fat its little belly was and how its tiny body was filled from head to tail and bursting with light. You paid so much money for it; way too much for it only to hide it away inside of your bedroom but it made you very happy and so did your bedroom.

“

Noona

, how can you be this cute?”

And now, Baekhyun was here too.

Standing in here with Baekhyun with him commenting on your very secret and personal silly little bird lamp had your hands trembling and your mouth had gone dry from trying to fill your lungs with deep calming breaths.

Your skin was too hot. Your body was too affected by him and you began to worry about how you might do this. It had been a very long time since you’d slept with anyone. You weren’t even really sure how long. Your last relationship had fizzled out long before you were dumped by him and that sex had always felt rather performatory and kind of unsatisfying. But what if it was you? What if you just weren’t that good at it? What if you embarrassed yourself with just how obviously and how badly you wanted him right now? Because you did. You’d never wanted anything more. A million self doubts were flying through you and you spun anxiously on your heels, turning into him, you quickly opened your mouth to speak.

“B-Baek, umm…” you were speaking quickly, “i-it’s been a really long time since I’ve b-been with anyone.”

Oh god, you sounded scared. You didn’t want to give him the impression that you didn’t want to be in here with him right now.

“I want to though, with you,” you swallowed, willing the audible shaking in your voice to settle down. “I want you.” You said the last bit as cleanly and as plainly as you could. He had to know this.

You could see his face clearly with the small light in the corner, thanks to your awesome bird, and you were sure he could see every shaking, trembling, uncertain expression that had just flown over your face.

He’d taken a step closer to you as you spoke and all the while watching your expression closely as you spoke. You had to close your eyes after a few seconds under his watchful gaze and you only realized you were holding your breath when the tips of his fingertips touched at the side of your face and the gentle touch made you gasp for more air.

“You want me?” He had a sort of wonder on his voice with the question and it pulled your eyes open to him. You could see his lips pulling into a kinetic smile, his lips moving with each of his exhales, his very slight smile pulled and slipped like it might have been powered by his heartbeat. The movements would have been undetectable had you been any further away from him.

“I’m nervous,” you confessed in a whisper with your eyes closed but with him touching you this way you could already feel something other than nerves overtaking you now.

“

Baby

, it’s me,” his warm breath fanned over your lips, between the kisses he gave you he also gave you promises, “and I’ve got you.”

His reassuring words overcame, “I’ve got you — no matter what, I’ve got you,

my darling

.”

Baekhyun’s promises coated over you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes and you felt the ease that came with them.

My darling.

His hands had moved now, he ran light fingertips over the goosebumped skin on your waist, slipping his fingertips gently below the elastic waistband of your shorts.

Byun Baekhyun, your Baekhyun, had so carefully and expertly broken down every bit of your self defenses and excuses. He’d seen you so clearly from the beginning and he’d done it in a way that only he could have done. This choice — this act with him felt inevitable. You gave in. Up until this point, it had been a difficult battle against yourself, but ultimately and inevitably, you did it.

You gave in to this feeling completely.

As if you had always been meant to do with him.

When you’d found yourself completely bare before him and he was just as vulnerable before you; you let go of all of it.

The arousal had been so much that every touch of his skin on your skin had you reeling. Your skin was hot to the touch and when his strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist and lifted you up, he did it with such ease that you crumbled in his arms. When the cool temperature of the blanket that covered your bed first touched your bare back you gasped in shock at the temperature difference and when the heat and the weight of his body covered over you in one fluid motion, your breath left you entirely.

You’d underestimated the strength he had in his body. You’d underestimated your body’s response to feeling him here, pressing between your thighs, your thighs which he fit in between so expertly and with purpose, your thighs which he’d pushed open himself with a firm knee as you both fell together into this bed. Your thighs between which he sank with hip bones at first, his mouth still connected to yours. But between your thighs he was there, with a wandering hand and silent fingertips that touched and teased and urged as he found the exact places to touch you; as he found the exact pressure and rhythm to push you close and closer to the edge of your sanity and you lost his lips from your mouth in the haze and you felt him sinking lower and lower, down between your thighs. You gave in. You let go of the tight grip you’d had on his hair as he pulled you harder into his mouth and you gave in to it; the oblivion that took you over.

You’d had no time to recover when you felt his wet tongue and wet lips at your breasts. You’d had no time to recover when you felt those hip bones back between your thighs with the heat and the pressure he brought with him. Baekhyun pushed inside so slowly at first; then came the feeling of being inundated by him and with all of the fire and the pressure and the careless abandon that came with it.

What you hadn’t underestimated, what you just knew would be a truth about Byun Baekhyun and what you had shamelessly imagined many nights since you’d begun experiencing this silly little self indulgent infatuation involving your Assistant, was that the sounds he made as he fucked you were resonant; as thundering as they were thrilling. Many of these sounds he made directly into your ear, sending the moans and whines and whimpers directly into your brain as his body rolled, pulling you on top of him, lifting you again so easily with strong arms as you sank down onto him again and again. It felt simultaneously never-ending and fleeting. Spinning, spinning, spinning forever; the spool had been wound so tight something was bound to snap soon and you could feel a climax nearing for you both.

When the oblivion returned you were overcome with more than that took your breath away. The sex itself, the climax itself was not the only thing that you felt running through your every vein, filling you up from the inside with a pervasive all consuming force. The sex itself was incredibly unparalleled to anything you had ever experienced with anyone else in your life, but there was something more that took hold of you in that very moment and you could not find a name for it as it moved through you.

Even through the eventual separation of your bodies, even through the laborious breaths that were futilely chased and the thick haze and the dense fog that you climbed up through, for some sort of return to reality; you still felt gripped by it.

It felt like falling. It felt like you would never be able to escape from this.

It felt like — felt like—

Baekhyun’s whisper made its way through the obscurity followed by lazy kisses pressed against your sticky skin with a spoken question and you knew.

Even as he himself asked you the very question that danced inside of your mind, tempting you with its heavy implications; you knew the answer.

Whether or not he asked it out loud you already knew it so completely.

But still he said it — from his own lips came that tiny question.

“Is this love?”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You awoke in his arms with your legs in a tangle within his; with the cadence of his steady breathing and the hum of gentle rain drops hitting against your windows.

It was not yet 5am. You hadn’t even had close to enough sleep but the warmth of his body against yours had pulled your consciousness back up from whatever dream you had been having. Whether it was simply the fact that you had another human being in your bed with you, a reality that hadn’t happened in years, or if it had simply returned once again to you; that longing for him, you weren’t sure what actually had awoken you.

Some things; some brand new, delicate things like this man’s existence in this bed with you were much more compelling than sleep.

How could you dare sleep through the first breaths of this brand new life? What a shame that would be.

His skin coated your bare back and you felt gratitude for the rain that had fallen all night. The crisp air felt cool enough that no amount of his heat against you was too much. You shifted your position slightly, and you listened for any change in his breathing. It only took a heartbeat but you heard a change. It was minuscule. The smallest moan.

He was still under.

Last night’s whispered words to you were lightly brushed fingertips over this 5am flushed skin. They tickled gently as they blew in the wind and you arched your back in response. The puzzle pieces that were your bodies fit together, you the smaller piece to him and with the movement you made within his arms you could feel as you turned further, pushed closer to him, another sound emerged from him; paired with some movement of sleepy arms and still dazed hands.

“Mmm—“ the sleepy moan was followed by a sharp inhale. You felt his arms constrict around you for a moment before they relaxed again.

You could let him sleep. But what a shame it would be. You could also feel the drowsiness deep in your chest begging you to let it go, just for a few more hours of sleep but that longing persisted. It persisted in your ears where those whispered words shared between you both still echoed.

‘Is this love?’

‘Do you love me like I love you?’

‘Yes. it must be. I do, love you.’

The longing persisted and it echoed again and again between your thighs building into desire, despite the thick sleep that pulled at you again.

You pushed into him again, wiggling your hips backward until you felt the heat of his hips push back against you.

Another moan with more substance this time. It hasn’t been that difficult to coax a sound like that out of him. Of course, he was a young and healthy man.

“Mmmm…What time is it?” The first real words you pulled from him were slurred and mumbled on his sleep coated tongue.

“Early,” you whispered and you moved your hips again. He was awake now it seemed. A heavy hand landed on your hip and he hissed out a breath, pressing the growing pressure against you.

“Sorry for waking you up.” The white lie felt obligatory and you heard a half humored hum from him as his arms wrapped around your waist now and he tightened his hold on you; one hand tightened around your breast, the other digging fingers into your hip bone. The heat under this blanket was beginning to grow stuffy.

“You don’t seem sorry,” Baekhyun’s brazen response accused you. You didn’t do very well at holding in the giggle from your lips and letting it slip only made you seem even guiltier.

“I was just trying to get comfortable.” Your denial was a playful attempt and was immediately followed by a surprised gasp from your parted lips when you felt his lips land on the bare skin of your neck. You felt his smile there and felt the hard wetness of his teeth as he bared them over your skin and bit down. That one bite took your excuses and your games right out of your mouth and they vanished as goosebumps spread over your skin. You breathed out loud through it. Through the slight pain.

This Baekhyun — this aroused from a deep sleep, Baekhyun felt quite different from that gentle man that made love to you for the first time mere hours ago. His moans into your ear were lower and seemed to come from deep down in his belly as he did it. This sleepy Baekhyun had just bitten your neck. You felt the hard suction of his mouth and the wetness of his tongue in that spot you were sure it would leave a mark that would take days to fade. He carelessly left behind a wet spot that tingled and ached as it cooled in the air.

“And are you comfortable now?” You were out of words. More than any sort of shock, the arousal that surged through your body was what took your words from you. You were also certain that he wasn’t looking for an answer to this question.

His hand, the one that had been digging into your hip and pulling your ass into him suddenly let go and he reached up over your shoulder seeking out your outstretched arm. He followed your arm until the very end and wrapped his slim fingers around your palm and he pulled your hand, gripping you tightly as he brought your hand down behind your own back until you felt the stiffness of him under your fingertips. You had already known what you had done to him with all of the ass wiggling earlier. But this was an undeniable presentation of evidence he had just set into the palm of your hand.

You ran your fingertips down the length of him and when you wrapped your hand around the stiffness another low sound came from the back of his throat. But your hand was too dry for this. You didn’t have one yourself so you couldn’t be sure, but you idly wondered if something dry and cool like this could even feel good to him.

The temperature difference was too shocking. Your hands had been out in the cool night air of your bedroom and definitely hadn’t been snuggled up between both of your warm bodies like this.

“My hand is too cold, Baek,” you whispered what he very likely could feel for himself.

“Then put me somewhere warm.” He’d said it in his sleepy voice, that thicker and lower octave that only came from this very early morning Baekhyun.

This Baekhyun made you give in to your desires so easily.

You spun then, and pushed up onto tired hands and knees and you lifted your sleepy body to straddle his waist. The blankets were getting too hot anyway, when they slid off your back you let them and you longed to be able to see his face in the darkness of this room.

A quick lean to the nightstand by his head and a switch was flipped and you both gasped and closed your eyes as the dim lamp came to light. You pushed through the shock because you had a goal here.

“Sorry baby, I want to see your pretty face,” you said to him.

Baekhyun’s severe squinting quickly turned into a look of pained pleasure as you lifted your hips and sunk down fully on him. He gasped out loud and his lips hung open and his head was thrown back and the look on his face was enough to get you through any lonely night. This expression here as you sank down with him inside of you, filling you up completely in a single motion — with his flushed pink cheeks and parted pink lips still swollen from sleep and from your many kisses. The tip of his tongue darted forward out of his mouth and he moistened his upper lip and his eyes were shut so tightly from too many overwhelming things at once.

You rose again, carefully lifting yourself with your hands pressing against his abdomen and when you sunk back down you looked into his face finding that his eyes had half opened and he was looking at you now. He bit down on his bottom lip and tried his best to keep his eyes open through your movements. You could see the struggle in him to both see everything you were doing and while also feeling everything were doing. You gave into the feelings much easier, only stealing the occasional glance down at his face. Only forcing your eyes back open when he made a particularly enticing sound. This felt too good for you though. You had to repeat these movements with your eyes closed because something was changing now.

“Oh fuck, I’m in trouble. You feel too good,

Noona

,” he said as his hands found your hips and he gripped tightly into the softness of your flesh. His whiny little complaint made you smile and only fueled you. Seeing his face like this made the sex feel even better. Hearing his reactions to you built you up. You felt unrestricted with him. You felt encouraged and enjoyed and savored. This man was like no one you had ever known before. “Fuck, you look so sexy riding my dick like this.”

When you arched your back and leaned back on him, feeling the way he bumped against you inside as you moved brought you even closer to that building feeling and his hands were moving up on you now, reaching for your breasts as he gripped and squeezed before letting go and pulling his own two arms up above his head and interlocking his hands together, as if he was trying to keep himself under control, his eyes were open and he was watching you. Every other movement had his face twisting and his head rolling. His chest heaved up and down as he tried to control his breathing and he failed at it.

“How can you be this beautiful?” You heard him say. “You are so dangerous,

Noona

. My god, I am in huge fucking trouble. Can I just live here…inside of you…like this…forever?”

He was gasping in between words. But good lord was he noisy. You knew you’d never get away with doing any of this in any place where you both weren’t completely and entirely alone. Just the sounds were too much. The compliments though seemed to have a very deep and curiously strong effect on you.

“Obsessed. I’m obsessed.” But did he really have to say so many words right now? Following them all was impossible. “Keep going, fuck..fuck.. I can’t—”

You couldn't focus on his words but they suddenly came to a stuttering halt when you tightened around him and an overwhelming wave took your breath away. He must have felt it when you did. His face was screwed up tightly and his hands were tightly fisted balls above his head. His heavy breathing and his words had stopped too and his mouth hung open in silence. This feeling had been wound too tight in you and you felt the waves crest as you closed your eyes and you felt the trembling in your thighs as you gasped and gripped him tightly around his waist to keep yourself upright as you were overcome by it.

You were dizzy. You were off balance and tired and his arms wrapped tightly around you as he sat up and rolled you around onto your back, not leaving from inside of you as he did it. You were suddenly quite aware of the mess you felt between your bodies. The wetness threatened.

“Do you realize what you’ve just done? I am obsessed. I need you to wake me up like that every day. I need to live in between your thighs.” His lips were on your skin pressing wet kisses all over your neck and chest. Your mind slowly came back as you smiled and lifted a hand to run your fingers through his hair, pushing it back off his forehead where it fell forward and tickled against your skin as he kissed you.

“I hope you can handle having a boyfriend who’s completely fucking obsessed with you because you’ve just made it a thousand times worse.”

Boyfriend

?

It wasn’t that you didn’t expect this. But him saying that word so casually had your stomach doing flips. His kisses had worked their way down to the mound of your breast and his breath puffed out over your nipple before his lips parted and he pulled lightly, giving you tiny kisses and nibbles all over.

“Wait, do I have a boyfriend?” Your question was sleepy sounding and yet so hopeful too. Once you’d asked you pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth and held it there. The irony of this was not lost on you. Here you’d just had very, very good sex with the man but suddenly there were some silly bubbly butterflies floating around inside of your stomach after hearing him use that word. You could feel the urge to squeal and hop around at the very thought of it.

He lifted his eyes for a moment and they touched yours.

“Yes, my love. You just woke your boyfriend up to fuck him —” you gasped out loud after another unexpected movement as he tightened his hold around you and rolled onto his back again. You found yourself back on top of him, with him still very much inside of you closer to the edge of the bed. “and now your boyfriend is trying not to make a big mess on the bed because he doesn’t want to sleep in a wet spot.”

Oh is that what the rolling was for? You felt giggles threaten to escape with all of the silly movement and the elation from this new found named revaluation. Unfortunately giggles were the last thing that should happen right now. Just two tiny half chuckles left your chest and you felt their effects immediately- the mess threatened. Your laughter pushed against him. You’d nearly made it off the bed. You were close to it.

“No, no, don’t laugh. Nothing is funny. Nothing is funny.” Baekhyun hissed in a panic when he felt your laughter all around an extremely sensitive and spent part of his body. But he was moving faster now and you found yourself plopped onto both of your legs, finally free of the fluffy bedding and a very much still clean mattress and dry bed sheets.

“I almost threw you off the bed,” he laughed and you felt more giggles breaking free. A crisis was averted and you were dragged by a naked and giggling Baekhyun to the bathroom for a shower.

Neither of you had anywhere to be until well after lunch time so after the shower he led you back to the bed for some more sleep. But the sleep was evasive and fitful for you. Your mind and heart were too restless to give into it and after a while you gave up instead opting for a peaceful cup of coffee in front of your work laptop catching up on never ending emails and completing small tasks that could be handled remotely.

Before the coffee you’d managed to quietly gather all of Baekhyun’s clothing; the suit and all that had been sullied by the rainstorm last night and you dropped it off for expedited service at the dry cleaners downstairs. For a small sum they promised it would be ready in just two hours. You’d grabbed a new toothbrush and left it with the plain white t-shirt and gray sweatpants neatly folded on the corner of the bed. They didn’t need cleaning. He didn’t even sleep in them.

It all felt so strange. Having this person — your person asleep in your home in the quiet early hours of the day like this. You couldn’t help the occasional glances you’d take at him. You found your legs pushing you up and carrying you across your apartment to peek through your open bedroom door just to see the peaceful expression on his face. It was almost as if you’d expected him to be gone the next time you checked. But he was there every time, just as peaceful and just as beautiful.

Eventually Baekhyun woke up, peeked his head around the corner of your bedroom doorway with a blindingly bright smile on his face. “

Noona

, I’m so hungry. I only just now remembered the ramen we didn’t get to eat last night.”

You had been up and out and about already and his grin was wide and appreciative to find out that not only had you picked up his suit from the cleaners but also some breakfast egg sandwiches from the shop on the corner, all while he slept blissfully and peacefully unaware.

How could you stand it? Your eyes drifted over his face and your thoughts strayed to the inevitable truth that was soon to come. You’d have to have a difficult conversation with him about how despite how much you loved him and how much he loved you, no one at your work could ever possibly know about it. Not while he was still working under you as your assistant at least. That was simply the kind of career killing scandal that you could not take. You’d never emotionally or professionally recover from something that devastating. In this scenario you had so very much to lose.

“Baekhyun,” you began carefully as you both tidied after the meal. He had been drying a coffee mug with a tea towel but your quiet use of his name pulled his eyes into yours.

“About us.. and work,” you bit down on the corner of your lip and looked down at the plate that you rinsed in hot running water.

“Oh I know,” he said after a while. “We can’t let anyone at work know about us. I know that already. I know the risk that holds for you.” He inhaled a slow and steady breath as he spoke. You didn't detect any hidden objections in his words, he seemed to be genuinely understanding.

”Me, I don’t think much can happen to me, but I get it. I know that you would be the one hurt.”

You pulled your lips into a small somewhat anxious pout and handed the plate to him to dry.

“There’s nothing wrong with this; with us being in love.” You said softly. Saying it more for your own heart than for his benefit and you patted lightly against the ache in your chest with the palm of your damp hand.

“Right.” He agreed quietly. “I know.”

“Work is work and everything else, well…” your words trailed. You swallowed down the moisture in your mouth, feeling the heavy weight of this burden. Of being born fortunate enough to experience such a profound feeling for this man and being unable to share it freely.

Baekhyun had finished drying the dishes and had hung the towel to dry over the sink faucet and he had left you to your thoughts for a while. He was snooping around your house. The idea of this might have made you uncomfortable last night when he had first arrived here but now after everything that had changed you didn’t mind it so much.

He was looking at a shelf where you kept some picture frames. Some important or significant moments in your life. Things that you’d been proud of, mostly work events and projects you’d been on.

He seemed to be looking quite closely at one picture in particular, having picked it up he was holding it up to his face.

“

Noona

,” he called and you paused your journey through the living room when he spoke. You had been headed to your bedroom to get dressed for work. “Look. This is the first time I met you.”

What could he mean by that? The first time you met Baekhyun was when he began working as your assistant. As you drew closer to where he stood you recognized the picture he held as being from a group photo from a work event last year and you paused with a tick of your head to the side as a realization dawned. With Baekhyun’s family connections to the company it was entirely possible that he was an ever present and heavily involved individual for much longer than you realized. His resume did mention several internships, but you failed to make the connection to any projects you had worked on at the time.

“Look,” he was touching a slim index finger to a familiar smiling face in the back row of the group. He had black hair in this picture, but it was definitely Baekhyun. You grabbed the picture and gasped out loud. Here he was in your picture with that blindingly beautiful smile and all. He looked incredible with black hair too. How in the world did you not remember him?

“We met each other then? Baekhyun, I’m sorry, I don't remember—”

“Oh, I know you don’t remember me,” He interrupted, “I was too shy to come up to you and you were too busy to pay attention to some new kid. You were like superwoman on that team. You were so cool and so pretty. I don’t think you looked at me once.” Baekhyun was laughing to himself.

“Look at you,” you whispered and you mirrored the smile on his face in this picture. “You’ve been here in my house this whole time. The black hair looks good on you too, although you’re so handsome that’s not surprising.”

“I was so nervous on my first day when I saw your name,” he said quietly as you ran a fingertip over his smiling face in the picture. “Seriously I thought I was going to vomit.”

You looked into his smiling face, with your eyes widening in genuine surprise. It wasn’t often that you heard these kinds of words about yourself.

“I think I realized it then, on my first day — that it wasn’t just a professional interest that I had in you. Even your name gave me butterflies. Your voice saying my name made my hands shake.”

This candor from him was sending your heart into a race. Your eyes absentmindedly glanced at the clock and you recognized a bit of a time crunch now. You both simply did not have time to get back into that bed with each other and spend the rest of the day giving in to the magnetic attraction. It took an extra breath of air pulled deep into your lungs and you dropped your gaze from his eyes that were becoming just a little bit burdening and you let out a quiet “Oh—” as your only response to his breathtaking confession.

“We need to be at work soon,” you said as calmly as you could muster and Baekhyun’s serious expression broke with the smallest smile. Your mind was drawn back to that first day in the office with him. You tried to remember him acting nervous, but try as you might you couldn't consolidate the two memories.

“You didn’t seem nervous at all,” you said suddenly, interrupting your own progress. “You very confidently handed me your tablet with your resume just smack in the middle of your own

very

personal photos in that gallery.”

After you’d said it you realized you had just incriminated yourself and Baekhyun’s smile grew wider as he looked at you and he tilted his head to the side.

“

Noona

,” he said without even trying to hide his smile.

“We have to get ready for work.” You put the group photo back in its place on your shelf, spun on your spot and took several steps away from this man. You had to get ready for work.

“

Noona

, did you see my pictures? Did you see me naked? Did you like it?” He was following closely behind you, outright laughing now, in full teasing mode.

“You were not naked. You had swim trunks on.” This had him laughing even harder and you could not even stop your own smile from spreading across your face. He had grabbed ahold of you now, keeping you from leaving.

“But did you like it?” He had your arms held by your forearms and he was wiggling you back and forth. His giggles were contagious and you were in serious danger of this conversation delaying your entire work day if you weren't careful.

“Get ready for work and maybe I’ll tell you.” More than a negotiation with him, you really felt like you were also trying your best to talk some reason into your own mind. You were so close to wrapping this project and just a few more days were left before you could finally have some actual space and time to relax. The last thing you needed was a major incident to derail everything.

Despite his playful games, Baekhyun had an incredible work ethic and he was dressed in his suit and tie and fully ready to leave in under 15 minutes. You harnessed the strength of gravity itself to keep your eyes from lingering too long on him as he buttoned up the crisp white dress shirt, lifted his collar and tied his necktie. You noticed his eyes watched you just a bit more liberally as you pulled up your favorite pencil skirt and buttoned the top closed over the lacy push up bra that you were certain complimented your figure best.

Today would certainly be an exercise in strict self control.

You had both been quiet during this, perhaps neither of you trusted yourselves with words right now. On the way out the door you reached for your usual perfume and sprayed once on your wrist, dabbing the wetness on both sides of your neck and you reached for his outstretched hand and walked out of your front door. You made it only two steps before he threw his head back dramatically with a noisy hoot from his lips said, “Goddamn! My girlfriend is so hot!”

You didn’t resist at all as he pulled you in the direction of the secure parking lot, and as you walked through the lot of cars you could hear the deep base of a powerful engine running just ahead of you both. His hand was in his pocket and you imagine that he must have pressed something in there that made the engine start long before you both even got there because that noise was definitely coming from his car. As he approached the car seemed to know him. You heard a soft beep from the car the moment his hand touched the handle and he pulled the passenger door open for you.

When you sat down inside you felt for the first time really, the magnitude of this man. This was hands down the nicest car you had ever been inside. It was easily the nicest car you have ever even seen in person and now you were sitting inside as he climbed into the driver’s seat and fastened the brightly colored seat belt.

You rested your head against the headrest and you watched him as he drove. The car responded with an intimidating roar with nearly every acceleration and you knew that it was probably capable of some incredible speed if someone were so inclined. He drove it very well. You felt secure here with him at the wheel as he easily weaved in and out of the other cars on the road. Morning traffic had never looked so good. His gaze occasionally touched on your eyes as you simply watched him drive and you felt the small smile on your lips. He was drawn to you watching him and he bounced a single eyebrow over his eye with a grin on his lips, his curiosity building in his face the longer you looked at him.

Traffic had gotten thicker by now and the engine grumbled its smooth idle below you as he waited for the light to change, his eyes slipping over to yours and you let out the longest sigh that had his smile widening just a little.

“What?” He finally asked out loud.

“Goddamn,” you exhaled into the sigh, drawing out the exhale to completely empty out your lungs before inhaling again to speak just under your breath, “my boyfriend is so hot.”

His outburst of laughter was better than any music you had heard before.

He let you out in front of the building, not so close that you risked being sighted by a curious coworker. Down a bit and across the street; near where the bus stop usually left you off. As you climbed out of his car your homeless man on the corner across the street shouted his usual ‘nice ass’ and you nodded and waved a friendly hello to him, feeling absolutely buzzed from the day you have had so far.

Inside of the office building was bubbling with life. You stopped for your usual coffee on the ground floor and you didn’t even look twice at the barista who filled your order. Inside the company suites, various teams were hard at work, already well into their afternoon workday and you made your way down the long corridor that led to the elevator that would take you up to your floor and you stepped inside, joining a few others from your team. You gave a friendly silent greeting. Everyone had been moving at such a breakneck speed for such a long while that the ending of this project couldn't come soon enough. Even now you could feel it from the team. You were in the home stretch of it now.

The elevator was filling up with faces and one more person joined, stepping inside right before the doors closed up and you found his eyes that found yours in an instant. His styled blonde hair on top of his head paired with his good looks made him stand out in any room. Even with black hair though, he shone brightly like a diamond to anyone who had their head out of the sand long enough to be able to look at him.

His smile for you was reserved, but you saw the tiny concealed scrunch of his nose as he did it.

“Good Morning, Miss Manager,” he said in a polite and ultra professional voice.

“Good Morning, Assistant Byun.” You replied, forcing your eyes and your face forward as you waited for the elevator to close its doors and take you both up to your office all the while saying your little internal prayers and hopes and wishes that today — that today of all days — you could be as normal as humanly possible working side by side with your absolute favorite human, your Assistant Byun Baekhyun.

[To be Continued]

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

There is nothing that soothes the human spirit quite like love.And there is nothing that tests a delicate newborn relationship quite like being so unimaginably busy that all of your time and energy is funneled into just surviving a particularly tumultuous work day. There was simply nothing left after you were done. There was no spare time to even think, let alone entertain the idea of having even a moment to look into the eyes of the man you loved.
This was crunch time. This was the final stretch. You had been running nonstop since you walked into your office and your phone started ringing and very likely had already been ringing long before you even opened that door.
There had been some issues. There had been some fires to extinguish, some egos to stroke, and on the other side, some to soothe. Someone had made a mistake, someone else was crying, someone else had left something critical out and something else was corrupted and had to be rebuilt from the ground up with a staggering and impossible twelve hours to do it. Everything and anything that wasn’t work had to wait. You moved on autopilot. Somehow your brain knew exactly how to split this up so that the work got done. You delegated and you instructed and you knew this would work. You knew this had to work because the alternative was simply unacceptable. You could hear it in your voice as you instructed your team and their serious faces told you that they would also give it their all for the sake of this project's success. They knew that all of the efforts and blood, sweat, tears, and sleepless nights they had put forth up until this point would all be for nothing if at the very end of it, if at the last possible second everything went up in flames today.There were several moments throughout the day when your mind sharpened in the middle of some soul suckingly heavy burden when you would look for him. The moments were short and fleeting, but when you looked for him, he was there. You just wanted to look into his eyes. You wanted a millisecond of comfort from them. You only wanted a small smile that could reassure you that this would pass, that this would be over soon if you only held on for a little bit. Those moments would be enough. You could withstand it.He was just as busy as you were. Hell, he was the only reason why you were surviving this right now. Your heart ached to see the furrow of his brows or the rough hand rubbing over the back of his own neck to loosen some of his tension. He was running nonstop. You wished you could handle it all but you also felt so incredibly thankful that he was here with you.It was always like this. Of course there would be unexpected things that went wrong, but many of these things that you were dealing with today could have been planned for. Most of this shit was predictable. It wasn’t like they were new to these kinds of projects. Why so many people in this industry left the most time sensitive and crucial tasks to the last minute you would never be able to make peace with but that didn't much matter when you were in the thick of it and your ass was on the line just as much as theirs was.
It wasn’t that you couldn’t get your part done. It was how incredibly avoidable all of this added stress could have been. You felt your temper flaring as you responded to the latest request that you push your already stressed out team even harder to clean up someone else’s mess. Even as you clearly recognized what this was. Some manager from some other department thought you seemed like a soft enough target that could be bullied or pushed around simply because you were a woman or because you walked around with that perfectly pleasant fake smile permanently attached to your face because you simply could not stomach the backlash from the alternative; people calling you a bitch because you were strong willed and no-nonsense and good at your job; people saying you were cold or an ice queen or probably just needed to get laid.
Clearly the last one couldn't be it because you’d just had the best sex of your life last night and you were still pissed off by today’s particular flavor of bullshit.Your office door hadn’t been closed once. You hadn’t had a moment when you could just catch your breath, or even have a sip of the coffee that had grown cold on your desk. You didn’t have a second to close your eyes and cover your tired eyes with your hands and regroup your overtaxed emotions, there simply wasn’t any time for it. There were too many people fighting their own struggles that were relying on you to be the rock. People filed in and out like worker bees and you’d long since removed your shoes and your coat, pushed up your sleeves and got into the thick of it yourself. Your lungs worked to pull air into your body and oxygenate your blood and you were thankful that your heart kept beating without you having to think about it because you simply could not think about anything else. There was nothing in you left. You felt spread thin. You felt the gaps inside of your soul as you were stretched in six different places at once and occasionally and only when you could feel the darkness and the blackness that rimmed the edges of your vision beginning to grow and close up more of the light, there would be something to pull at you softly. Something tender and something healing and it was him. It was always him.It would be a warm and discrete hand on your back, rubbing two or three circles into you. It would be a bump of a warm shoulder that leaned up against your own. It would be soft brown eyes that caught hold of your own flighty ones and he would pull his lips into a circle and motion with a single hand below his chin as if he were pulling something invisible down and out of himself. He would exhale an exaggeratedly slowed down breath, urging you to do the same. Telling you to breathe out slowly. Begging for your cooperation. When you would do it, you’d be rewarded with a microscopic wink and a smile. You were pretty sure this man was saving your life. And then on your desk there had been something small and tasty, wrapped in clear plastic cellophane with the words ‘eat me’ written on a sticky note on top of it and you had absentmindedly unwrapped it and eaten it, rewarded with another wink and a smile just when you did as he asked.
It had been hours of this. Your day had long ago turned into night time and you found yourself, impossibly, still at work. There had been a gradual but definite shift in the air as one by one, impossible tasks had been checked off. The progress had been astounding. You told them as much as the final check mark landed on the office whiteboard and the audible sighs of relief sounded out. You thanked them all from the bottom of your heart. You meant every word and one by one you were greeted with their tired smiling faces as they gave you their thanks for the work and the guidance and the war-like defensive you had taken to show each and every one of them that you had their back even despite mistakes or shortcomings, you would not let them be trampled on, all the while you concealed the black smudged footprints left behind on your own back as you took the brunt of it for them with a manic smile pushed onto your face and an undetectable to anyone but yourself, tremble in the hands that you gripped together so tightly behind your back.But it was too much this time.
Everyone had to leave. Even - and especially your Assistant Baekhyun, who had stayed the longest of all; who lingered close beside you with a well concealed worried expression deep down inside his eyes despite the passive and pleasant smile on his face. Especially Baekhyun; who you had to practically push out the door, had gone. He had told you about some family dinner tomorrow. You used this as your fuel as you pushed. Something else too that he was committed to, you reminded him again and you insisted. He would be busy all day and you would hopefully be sleeping all day but he definitely had to go.
And he had gone.
A small flame of relief was burning inside of your chest. It wavered and flickered with the guilt over the desperation with which you had pushed him away.As the final farewell sounded out and the noise and the din grew softer until you found yourself standing alone in front of the small sofa you kept in your office you could feel the stress and the worry that had been so all consuming finally beginning to leave your tired body and you knew it had been too much this time.
You weren’t sure if you’d be able to sleep at all either, despite how much you needed to but as the office lights were turned off and the last person had long ago left you could feel the weight of the force of gravity pulling hard at your arms.
It had been too much this time. You struggled to settle your chest and all the heavy breathing and rapid beating inside there. You made an effort to relax your jaw and with it you exhaled a slow breath through your mouth and you closed your eyes up. But, despite all of your efforts at reeling it in and calming your body, you could still feel a fire-like burning sensation cresting behind your closed eyelids. It was strong and it was relentless; that burning. Your eyelids trembled and they shivered against it and you squeezed tighter but still they quivered; refusing to stay still; refusing to stay quiet and that burning built and it crested until it reached a tipping point.
The first hot tears spilled over your lash line and they fell straight down. You saw the wet drop soak into the rug below your feet. All at once it came. Your breathing was ragged and your chest shook as you gasped in through the quiet sobs that overcame you in the dark silence of this room.
You were alone now. You could have this moment of terrible, awful weakness. You had allowed yourself so few of them in your life.
So you cried.
You cried for the stress of it all. You cried for the unimaginable struggle it was to stay on top of it all. You cried for the delicate line you had to walk as a woman in male dominated world. You cried because you had to smile all the fucking time whether or not you even wanted to smile at them. You cried for the others who didn’t have a strong sense of right and wrong who let themselves become doormats or who did not have the influence and the power to stand up for themselves and you cried until you had nothing left inside of you to cry about.
You cried until your crying changed. You recognized the dramatics and you cried feeling exactly as ridiculous about yourself right now as you were acting. You cried because you had a headache, and your feet hurt and your nose was stuffed up so you couldn't even breathe right and your stomach hurt and you were hungry goddammit.
You cried because you had thrown away two perfectly good dumplings at lunch two days ago because at the time you didn’t want to have to run two more miles on the treadmill to make up for the calories and why were you so obsessed with calories anyway? Stupid society putting you into a box and telling you that you had to look a certain way. Stupid wardrobe with your tight skirts and high heels that hurt and those delicious dumplings wasted and for what? You cried until you were numb and your makeup had been all washed away and there was nothing left to do but wash your face with cool water and press your cool fingertips over your eyes to help with the swelling.
Your eyelids were sore and your nose was red and stuffy but you could feel the relief of this. You knew sometimes it just had to come out of you and there was nothing quite like a good cry to reset your soul. As you walked through the office with your belongings in hand you could see everything around you with a brand new clarity, even despite the puffy eyelids.
You would stop for some dumplings for dinner on the way home. There was a 24-hour spot near the bus stop that had some great ones and you would eat the entire order this time. You would stuff yourself with so many dumplings until you were positively sick of them and then you would roll into your bed and you would sleep and sleep and you would dream of his pretty face and his soft lips and his long fingers and you wouldn’t wake up early tomorrow, you pulled your cell phone out to make a point of turning off every single alarm that was set.
You even flippantly swore you would not look at your work cell phone once! Okay maybe only once or twice, let’s be real. You knew when you were being too much.
Your dinner was hot and delicious. The beer you had with it paired perfectly with the dramatic romance movie you found that had just started on your tv and you settled into your sofa letting your mind wander as the couple on screen shared their first passionate kiss. The man of this story was pretty handsy, but honestly the woman had been sending all of the right signals his way. What kind of rating did this have? You watched with bated breath and wide surprised eyes as the two of them, unable to deny their feelings of lust any longer, gave in to their most carnal desires — and right there at work. They were at the office! You felt weirdly exposed watching this. While it was tastefully shot and there wasn’t even much nudity, there was definitely something extremely forbidden about the way he leaned against her on the desk, pushed her skirt up and pushed his hips between her parted knees. Your skin was flushed and hot to the touch.You had to turn it off. The layout of the office, the desk they hungrily consumed each other on and even the window with city view looked eerily similar to your own office. You’d already made a mistake in watching as much as you had. The last thing you needed to test your self control while working in the same office with your secret boyfriend, public personal assistant, was the image of pulling him down into you by his necktie for a steamy kiss or worse, of him greedily shoving your skirt up and pushing his hips between your thighs; taking you right then and there on your desk with your blinds closed and only a single lock on your office door to keep you from both being exposed.
Something was wrong with you. Clearly you had been a woman who had neglected her own personal needs for far too long. You were overtired and heavily influenced right now and it was probably best for everybody if you just went to bed.
The vibe in your bed was just as troublesome. He occupied your thoughts so entirely you wondered how anyone managed to get any sleep at all once they’d fallen in love.
A buzz on your cellphone pulled your hands down from your own lips where you swore you could still feel the memory of his kisses and you found waiting for you a text message from your very own ‘Assistant Byun’, as you had saved him in your phone on his first day.

‘Noona, did you get home safely?’
It was the simple kind of message that made you smile and you were quick with a reply letting him know that yes you were already home in your bed.
‘Did you eat?’
He was fretting and fawning over you like he did and you slipped into your photo gallery to send him the picture you’d snapped of your delicious dumplings that brought you all of the fresh and juicy happiness and delicious pleasure that only carbohydrates could bring.

‘I ate them all ^^’

You showed him proudly and you giggled into your hands to see the flood of sweet and silly emojis he sent in response.
You were still giggling when your phone started to ring and it took you only one second to recognize that this was a video phone call. Your bird lamp was illuminating your bare face and you hoped your eyes wouldn't still be swollen enough for him to notice.
When you pushed the button to answer you were instantly rewarded with his beauty. His warm brown eyes and his bright smile greeted you and you could tell that he was sitting somewhere that was well lit as he held the phone far enough away from his face so that you could see him well. It felt like a drug. You’d been so busy and so wrapped up in other things today that you had actually missed him, despite having been with his ultra professional work persona all day. You missed his lovely face and the way he looked at you and smiled with you and flirted with you.
You could see the preview of your own face in the corner of your phone screen and you winced at just how exhausted you looked. It made you want to turn away. You didn’t have any makeup on and you could clearly see how flushed your cheeks and nose still were from the crying. Your eyes were puffy and it made you look very tired and Baekhyun was watching your face from his screen as his smile sagged just a little bit and he leaned forward, clearly sitting up straighter in alarm.You should not have answered the call. You should have made up some excuse like you were too tired for a chat, or you were about to jump in the shower, or you were about to dig a huge hole and bury yourself in the dirt. Of course he would see it and he would know.“Baby,” his soft voice called out. It sounded just like disappointment. His brows furrowed and he licked his lips and bit down on the bottom one, holding his tongue, keeping whatever he was going to say after that to himself. You heard the concern all over his voice and it made you bite down on your lips as you looked away from the screen to blink your eyes quickly, willing from the small bit of returning emotions you felt threatening to just go away.
You pulled a smile to your face and he watched you with his forehead leaned onto his hand propped on an elbow. On his lips was a deep frown.“I’m fine. I really am,” you whispered and forced the smile up higher so it touched your eyes too. He didn’t say anything but his eyes watched your face much too closely, no doubt coming to all sorts of conclusions on his own. You felt the wetness in your eyes again and you rolled your eyes around to spread the moisture, pleading with yourself that you wouldn't cry again. You’d had enough.
“You cried alone…after I left. When I was gone,” his statement was a whisper that made you close your eyes up. “I should not have left you.”
You were just so very tired and seeing that look on his face made you want to soothe his worries and whatever misplaced guilt you saw in his eyes. None of this, absolutely none of it, had anything to do with him. If anything, he had saved you countless times today.
You had to reassure him as best you could, so you gave in to the concerns and you opened your lips to speak calmly and clearly. You had to let him know that you were fine.
“I’m okay now. I did cry a little. Today was a lot and I felt much better after I ate.”
“I’m coming over,” he said abruptly, with his voice hitching in his throat as he suddenly sat up straighter. He said it so firmly and quite irrationally that it pulled a small chuckle out of you. The man was impossibly adorable.
“Baekhyun, you are not coming over. You have that family thing tomorrow and I am going to sleep.”
You heard an audible hmph from him and the video jostled as if he threw himself back down in his chair in a huff.
“I’ll stay on the phone with you until you sleep then.” His pout was very much visible on his face and his voice he spoke out his idea of a compromise. In reality it sounded like heaven. You shrugged as if you were giving into him and you let the natural smile form on your face as you laid your head down on your pillow, allowing just enough light to fall onto your face so the video was still visible to him.
You could see movement on his side. Your idle curiosity about what his home looked like had you watching the background as he seemed to be moving through one room and entering a darker space. You longed to see it in person. You were so curious about how he lived. You heard a soft click in here and there was a dim light that shone on his face now. He had a table lamp too, but you doubted it was as awesome as yours was.“Let me see your lamp,” you couldn't help yourself. You heard his laughter and he turned the phone to face something bright and ultra modern looking. It was abstract with shapes like hexagons and it looked more like a piece of expensive modern art than any regular old table lamp. You gasped out loud covering your mouth. It was so cool. It probably cost way more than your bird.
“I like your bird lamp,” he said up close to his phone and you rolled your eyes at his attempt and sighed out loud. His lamp was so cool. You wondered if he had that modern style throughout his home and your eyes glanced around your room at the mishmash of bright colors and cutesy things that you selected not quite for their cohesion as a whole but simply because they brought you joy. One such corner in particular with the chair that you loved paired with a fluffy bubblegum pink ottoman that some might call ridiculous if they were just a little bit closed minded. It was your reading nook. Not that you had any time to read, but it was bright and bursting with color and potential and it was your favorite spot. You’d taken Maximalism to a whole other level here.
“Liar.” You said deep into your pout and he laughed out loud again.
“I like your bird. I like your pirate horse. I like your bedroom and I like whatever you have going on in that one specific corner of your bedroom. I like you. I like everything about you,” he said and you met his eyes as he laid his head down on a crisp white pillow case and turned his face toward the light source so you could see him clearly, just as you had done for him. If you allowed your mind to drift a little bit, it almost felt like he was here beside you. You could so easily look into his face and see the way his eyes blinked slowly and you could hear the way his breathing softened and evened out.
“He’s not a pirate. He was injured on the job and is waiting on a big fat worker’s compensation check to pay for his glass eye.” You could feel the sleepiness turning your imagination into overdrive and the sound of his laughter rang out making your phone speakers buzz as he threw his head back; your silly backstory for the painting that hung on your living room wall sending him into giggles.
“The grip you have on me is insane,” he said when his laughter calmed down and he looked deep into your eyes.You watched him and he watched you until both of your eyelids began to sag and your blinks grew longer and longer.
“When can I see you again?” His words were slowing down. His eyes looked as heavy as yours felt. Your tongue felt thick and loose inside of your mouth and you could feel the sleep tickling up along your spine. You knew he saw you all day today and you knew that wasn’t what he was asking. You felt the same way deep in the middle of your stomach.
“I missed you today,” you said out loud what you had been thinking since you saw his face on your phone. “I missed you so much.”He opened his eyes and a tiny smile crept in.
“I’m coming over,” he said again, this time in a dreamlike sleepy voice, not at all moving his head from his soft pillow. The thought made you hum out an appreciative sound and your lips pulled into a smile that sagged on your lips because of how sleepy you felt.
He inhaled a deep breath and his lips parted again, “I could hold you in my arms,” his dreamy words slipped across your pillow and planted delicate kisses on your closed eyelids and you could only hum again as he inhaled to speak once more, “I could hold you forever.”

His sweet whispered words danced behind your eyelids and carried you into your dreams where you met with him and his broad shoulders and strong arms. Where you danced with him and he held you and you melted and dissolved like butter in his unimaginable warmth.
Your Sunday had a late start.
The stress from yesterday's long day had taken a toll on your body and just as you had wanted to, you actually managed to sleep in. Your phone had a few messages waiting. A few work things, nothing urgent and nothing critical and two sweet messages from your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend — this word still filled you with butterflies just to think it. One of the messages was a short and sweet goodnight message with a heart emoji beside it, and the other was a picture he sent you of his smiling face standing in front of what looked like a forest with lots of lush greens trees in the background and in the far background sat some sort of building nestled within the trees. It looked a bit like a school out in the countryside. You wondered what on earth he was doing out there when there were things like cozy warm beds and hot coffee to be had at home.
You typed out a curious response, asking him what he was actually up to and you set your phone down for the time being so you could focus on getting your weekly chores finished. Boring stuff like laundry and changing your bed sheets. Taking out the trash and recycling and sweeping and mopping your floor, all the while listening to music, although at a much lower volume that you usually would use, in case your phone made any sounds.Your day was satisfyingly productive and you’d reached the point in your day-off schedule that was dedicated entirely to you. You had soaked in your bathtub, you’d shaved and lotioned every bit of your skin that needed attention. You’d done your nails, all of them this time! You’d plucked and preened and got so caught up on your own little spa day that it soon transcended from just maintenance care to something a little more fun. You had styled your hair and did just a little bit of day-off makeup too, went a bit overboard with the good products that were expensive but you felt pretty this way. You browsed through your closet for something that felt nice and looked nice on your skin and your mind drifted to the mess you had been last night. Your face winced to remember the way he had looked at you then, at basically the lowest you could get. Why hadn’t you looked like this when he called you for that video call?
This wouldn't do. He had sent you a selfie just a few hours earlier, you could get away with one selfie to him, just some sort of redemption, to save face and maybe undo the most recent image he had of you in his head from last night. You went into your bathroom where the lightning was good and you lifted your phone camera up, snapping a few poses, liking a few more than others, you struggled with the decision.
Was his photo gallery also full of rejects or was the man as naturally beautiful and photogenic as he was smart and capable?
You held your breath and closed your eyes and you hit send and the phone did its thing as it took away your tiny gift and delivered it somewhere inside his phone which likely buzzed against his thigh inside of his pocket. In your head you counted down the seconds of silence, of which there were many.
You were still holding your breath when your phone buzzed happily in your hand and you swiped quickly to open his response.
It was nonsense. Just some jumble of letters and numbers and some symbols too. It brought a smile to your face in an instant and somehow this reaction from him felt even better than if he had actually responded to you with words.
Before you had a chance to say anything else, another message came through.
‘You made me drop my phone’

The elation was overwhelming. Such a small response from him had filled your chest with so much delight. This feeling was really like nothing else you’d experienced. You had to bite down on your lip to keep the smile somewhat under control.
Soon after the message appeared you saw a tiny heart appear in the upper corner of the picture you had sent him as he reacted to it and your own heart leapt up into your throat when your phone was ringing.
He was calling you. So suddenly?You thought a few text messages at most would be exchanged. You hadn’t expected him to be available for a phone call. Whatever it was that he was doing it had seemed like it would take up all of his afternoon.
You answered with a cautious greeting and there was the smallest pause on the line before you heard his voice.
“Noona,” he wasn’t speaking at full volume and your ears picked up a bit of chatter in the room where he was. The voices were many and they sounded young. He was around children, it seemed. “My kids want to talk to you.”
You had no idea what was going on.
“Baekhyun, what kids? What is happening?”The small voices you heard were rowdy and they were all worked up about something. You heard a few shouts behind him, some questions that you couldn't quite make out all of the words for.
“Miss!” A small voice was shouting and it sounded closer than the others. “Are you our teacher’s girlfriend?”
“You’re pretty! Are you going to get married?” A different tiny voice shouted from slightly farther away.“Miss! What is your name?” There were a few more questions that you could make out. “Why did he put a heart on your picture?”, “Do you have a dog?”, “What is your favorite video game?”, and perhaps the one that made you smile the most was the voice that started this all and sounded like it might belong to the perpetrator holding the phone in his hands, “Miss, have you ever seen a real ninja, not on TV but in real life?”
You answered the ones you could answer as quickly as they were thrown at you.

Yes. Thank you. I don't know. Umm, I don't know that either. No I don't have a dog but I want one. Umm, I’m very good at Mario Kart. No, I’ve never seen a ninja. Have you seen one?
Clearly these kids were conducting their own very thorough investigation of you right now and they had some very clear metrics by which they judged their teacher’s girlfriends by.
You were laughing now and you could hear the struggle as Baekhyun’s voice spoke over their tiny excited hollers and he tried to rein them in.
“Beni, how would she see a ninja? They’re ninjas, that’s the point, you don't see them!” Baekhyun’s voice sounded over-excited and exasperated now and based on how far away he sounded he was not the person who was holding his own phone.
You heard a few thumps, some sounds of the phone being jostled about and your screen suddenly lit up as the audio call was switched over to a video call. It was a tiny boy’s face and he was peering down at you with a bright smile that was missing just a few teeth. A few more faces came into the frame and you smiled and waved at them and they all giggled excitedly to see you.
The phone was turned around and you could see a somewhat flustered Baekhyun standing with his hands on his hips in front of a stand up piano. It definitely seemed to be some sort of a school, or maybe a group home. The more you looked, the more dated and run down the walls behind him looked; the more this seemed like not an ordinary school. A memory was coming back to you, yesterday when you discussed his weekend plans and he had mentioned some place he went every week to volunteer. This must be that place; a school or it being a Sunday, probably the place where these children lived permanently and Baekhyun was obviously holding some sort of class for them. Something fun; art maybe, or music. Whatever it was, they obviously loved him there and were deeply invested in getting to the bottom of exactly who you were and what your connection to their dear teacher was. Deep down inside, you really hoped that you passed their strict tests.
“Okay, okay, you saw her and you talked to her. Now give me back the phone or we won't do the song.”
You recognized a hostage negotiation when you saw one. This man had clearly lost control of the small group of boys and was desperately trying to get the upper hand again.
“Song? I want to hear the song too!” You shouted on into the phone and the children all cheered excitedly in agreement.“Yes! Yes, do the song,” they all yelled.The phone was relinquished and you could see Baekhyun’s eyes reaching out to yours through the phone with a quick whisper “I’ll put you next to the piano,” as you had a new view of the keys of this piano and his slim fingers reaching out to touch the keys. You could see just the bottom half of his face and behind him, all seated on the floor with their excited faces watching enraptured were about six little boys with bright expectant smiles on their faces.
“Do you want me to sing it, or are you going to sing it?” He was asking them in a bright and cheerful voice.
“You sing it! You sing it!” They all clamored and to your absolute astonishment Baekhyun’s fingers touched the keys of this piano and the most amazingly beautiful melody began to play out. He made it look effortless and the results were so gorgeous you had to cover your open mouth with your hands to keep the shock from your face. He played like he had been playing piano his entire life.The introduction to the song had reached a point for him to begin singing and Baekhyun inhaled a breath as he began. It was a light song, something soft and pretty, but what struck you immediately was his voice. It was shockingly good. He sounded like a professional and the more he sang the more you found yourself drawn into this man. You had to admit, the more he sang the more starstruck you felt watching him do it. The kids had a similar reaction and when the song reached its climax and he threw his head back and expertly belted out the most beautiful sustained high note complete with beautiful vibrato on the sustained note that you felt it tickle along your spine and bring along with it rows of goosebumps that traveled over your skin to hear it something so breathtakingly beautiful come out of this man.How? How was he real? Could he really do this the whole time you had known him? Was there anything this man could not do?
You wondered if there was any bottom to this. When you thought you couldn't fall for him any further, a trap door would open up below your feet and you’d go tumbling another hundred meters.
He was done with his song and you were clapping and cheering just as enthusiastically as the kids were. He’d picked up the phone and his brown eyes found yours for a few whispered words. He was speaking very fast and his mouth was so close to his phone microphone that his whispers crackled in your phone’s speakers.“Noona, the class is almost over, I have to go but I’ll call you later. Also you need to understand that I would kick your ass so bad at Mario Kart. K — I love you. Bye bye~.”
He drew out the last word and the call abruptly ended leaving you stunned, still laughing, and feeling very much enamored with this man who had abruptly exploded into your life one day and taken hold of you by the heart, sunk his long fingers in very, very deeply, and absolute refused to let you go.
The interaction with him seemed to linger inside of you and you found yourself dazed as you wandered around your apartment, unsure of where to go next. You’d never quite felt so lost before. You spent most of your life with a well curated agenda and a plan. A schedule even for your days off, everything you did had a purpose that was carefully selected and chosen with some goal in mind.
But how on earth could you possibly tackle this feeling? You wanted to see him. You wanted to be near him and be close to him and you wanted to do the things he was doing with him and you wanted to breathe the same air he was breathing. It was maddening.
You no longer had a sense of what time it was. You’d wandered for too long when you finally came-to plopped down your sofa with the tv remote in your hand as you flipped through programs that didn’t have any the right feelings to draw you in.
You felt desperate like a caged tiger the longer you stayed here. You glanced at the clock in some useless attempt to orient yourself and to find your own mind again and you found that it was later than you expected it to be. Would he be done with his drive home yet? Would he be calling you soon as he promised so quickly the last time you’d spoken to him?
Maybe you needed a hobby. This was getting ridiculous.
Just a few more hours and you could get in bed and just a few more sleep hours after that and you could get up and get dressed in your sexiest business professional number and you could go into work and you could see him again.
Is this how addicts felt as they waited for their next fix?A buzz on your phone brought you out of it.It was Assistant Byun. It was your greatest weakness and he was the very powerful and addictive drug you’d been craving.
‘When can I see you again?’
It was straight to the point. It mirrored the exact same feeling you had been dealing with for the past few hours. No pleasantries. No ‘Noonas’ or cutesy emojis. No ‘how are yous’ or ‘are you busys’ or similarly cheap filler talk.
You looked down at his message and your hands clumsily struggled to type out a response.
He was faster than you were.

‘I need to see you again”
You had to steady your hands to type. You felt no hesitation with your next words. Of course he should. Of course he had to. You also needed him.

‘come over’
The warm flush that started in your cheeks spread over you slowly. It crept like a shadow moved and it was a thorough and a deep feeling as it spread. You felt the heat under your chin as it traveled down your neck, bringing with it that slow buzzing that made your breathing just a little shaky and unsteady. The saliva pooled inside of your mouth, just under your tongue at the thought of him being so overcome with the very same desire that you felt inside of you, it made the need that much more pronounced in you
Ten seconds passed and you sat with your eyes closed listening to the silence of your home and the silence of your phone without any sort of new message from him. When the sound did ring it out it came from an unexpected place and you lifted your head in quiet shock to hear your doorbell ringing a mere ten seconds after you had told him to come over.
‘I’m already here,’ the cheeky response from him belatedly buzzed in your hand, just after the doorbell rang and you were on your feet in a second, without any regard for how desperate you must look, because you were. You no longer cared if he knew it.
You pushed yourself to move through the space that separated the two of you and you rushed to unlock the door that separated you from him and when you pulled that door you caught the sight of his pretty face as he stood there at your doorway, leaning a shoulder against the edge and he was looking at you with a that breathtaking smile on his face, one hand pushed into his pocket. When he saw you the smile sagged and when he saw you his face changed. And with a slow and deliberate agonizing pull of his dark eyes, he ran them up the entire length of your body before setting them down devastatingly deep inside of your eyes and there was no longer any breath left in your body that could fight the dizziness you felt under his gaze.
Inside of his eyes a flame was ablaze and you, and you, and every single bit of you, was burning.

[To be Continued]

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

‘When can I see you again?’

‘I need to see you again”

With a slow and deliberate agonizing pull of his dark eyes, he ran them up the entire length of your body before setting them down devastatingly deep inside of your eyes and there was no longer any breath left in your body that could fight the dizziness you felt under his gaze.

Inside of his eyes a flame was ablaze and you, and you, and every single bit of you, was burning.

————————

Baekhyun was at your doorway with a hand in his pocket; looking absolutely nothing like your prim and proper Personal Assistant usually did. Gone was the professional suit and tie and here he stood in front of you looking more casual than you had ever seen him. This was day-off Byun Baekhyun. He leaned against the doorframe with colorful sneakers on his feet and on his lower half wearing a pair of well fitted jeans with what had to be very trendy holes ripped right through the knees. The holes were large and dramatic. You could make out the soft flesh of his inner knee and on the right leg, you even saw some of his soft upper thigh. What were these jeans?

Your eyes seemed to act on their own accord as you took him in, pausing your journey just about thigh level to let out an appreciative exhale because of simply how good this man’s thighs looked in these jeans. On his broad chest he wore a soft and well-worn red hoodie. He looked younger like this. His face was already very youthful for his age but dressed like this? He could pass for a college student in this sweater and in these jeans.

You tried. You really tried not to let your eyes linger for too long over the middle zipper section of him. But the man was wearing a belt — the accent in the middle kind of caught your eyes and despite all of your mental gymnastics to get your eyes to move up into his face right now, you knew that the belt was black. You knew that he had the buckle fastened through the third hole in the leather and you knew that the buckle was silver and had a brushed metal texture to it. You had lingered here for too long. My god, you could identify it in a police lineup if you had to. The belt as well as the bulge of fabric; the well filled out denim below the belt. The parts of him that occupied far more of your mind than you’d ever admit outloud to anyone. You had intimate knowledge of the power he held over you. You’d slept with him exactly twice; both times in the well concealed darkness of your bedroom and still, still knew the man and every single but of him was gorgeous.

You were positive that you were ogling him for too long but if he had any thoughts about the way you took him in he certainly wasn’t speaking on it.

When you finally made it through, when the breath that seemed to be stuck halfway through your windpipe finally made its way out and your eyes finally touched on the edges of his face enough for you to catch the tip of his tongue that moistened his bottom lip a half second before his teeth bit down on that wet lip. It was such a brief action but your mind flashed a memory of those teeth biting down hard on to the soft skin of your neck. Those teeth that brought just a bit of pain and that mouth that sucked hard enough to bruise your flesh.

This mark remained on you at this very moment and it took every bit of strength left inside of you not to lift a hand and touch the spot with your fingertips.

You shouldn’t do such a thing. You were being watched.

His eyes watched you. You’d made it this far. You’d reached his eyes and when you pulled your own into his there was a shift in his pupils to finally have your focus, to finally be looking into his face instead of feasting all over his crotch like you had been doing.

Were you caught?

He had a smile on his face and you could see a narrowing of his eyelids, a microscopic tick of a single eyebrow over one of his eyes and his smile pulled just a tiny bit wider.

You probably should do something.

“Hi,” you managed weakly and his smile pulled brighter, showing his teeth for a moment.

“Hi,” his lips parted with his whispered response. His head tilted toward the door frame he was leaning on. That one word; just a repetition of your own inadequate greeting but somehow in his voice and said so softly it seemed to jostle every bit of the fondness you had for him and it sent a burst of sweet bubbles to your surface. The sweet feelings and tiny gestures and the delicate kisses and the sleepy whispers, they all floated up and one by one each made a tiny pop, pop, pop, breaking whatever excuse for surface tension you had tricked yourself into believing you could still hold on to.

What did normal people do when they had a visitor?

You stepped aside; your legs teetering just a little unsteadily, holding the door open for him to enter and also for your own balance and at last his weight shifted off of the doorframe and he took a quiet step inside.

You could breathe at last. He was finally aiming his eyes at something other than you as he looked down at his feet to push his shoes off.

You could feel the newness of this making your nerves misbehave.

Your brand new out-of-the-box boyfriend had suddenly stopped by your house and it was getting dark outside. As far as you knew he was supposed to have been busy all day. The boys’ music class and then dinner with his parents and then… he would have been tired after his day. He would maybe want to go home and rest.

Your mind reached back to his text message. You’d been longing for his company again back when you read it but now your nerves had a hold of you and his messages’ crystal clear meaning from before his arrival was beginning to cloud over just a bit. What if you had been wrong?

What if he actually had some other reason why he had to see you.

What if something had changed or what if something happened with the dinner with his parents? What if that dinner had turned into a business discussion about his future in the company and how he couldn’t waste away his precious days working as your assistant. What if this was a farewell visit; or worse a break up visit?

Were you jumping to conclusions about the reason for his sudden visit and assuming he wanted what you also wanted? What you knew for a fact right now is that you were definitely overthinking this.

The uncertainty had you crossing your arms over your chest and looking down the length of your bare legs. You pointed a freshly painted toe nail forward and absentmindedly tapped against the kitchen island beside the entryway of your home.

“So what did you need to see me about?” The question sounded innocent enough in your head but when it came out of your own mouth you could hear the confrontational tone. It made you wince. You hadn’t meant to sound this way. Out of habit, to recover just a little bit of your own pride, you straightened your shoulders and lifted your chin. It was an act of self preservation. You were a mess of a mix between a hopeful girlfriend and a nagging team manager and something told you the later one was not what you were supposed to be acting like right now.

Your stupid question was out though and there was no putting it back in. You held your breath and you braced for the answer.

Baekhyun had been making his way into your kitchen and his forward progress stalled when he heard your question. Did he feel your nerves through your words or had your business-like tone taken front and center stage?

He didn’t answer quickly and instead took a few more steps past where you stood your ground and you saw the tiny head shake as he looked back at you with his lips parted.

“Oh, uhh...” his voice began to speak but he stopped again, “I uhhh…” The man didn’t usually struggle with his words. Had you somehow infected him with your nerves? Was it the crossed arms and the manager’s tone of voice? You felt a flash of guilt for it.

Baekhyun exhaled and his eyes closed up.

“I sat outside for thirty minutes and I couldn’t come up with an excuse for being here.” His lips pulled into a wince and he peaked one eye open to look at you.

“I should be at home right now, but my car seemed to drive me here.” Your own smile betrayed you and when he saw it his other eye pulled open. He was adorable. His quiet confession made your heart leap.

“Nothing? No ‘My cell service is out and I had to deliver this important message’ or ‘We have this important client meeting tomorrow and you need to be aware of this detail that only I know.’
You couldn't come up with one little thing?” You simply could not help the teasing now. This was just too much fun. He was adorable.

You hadn’t read his messages wrong. All at once you felt the nerves burst and vanish and he smiled wider as he shook his head.

“I am definitely not here for work,

Noona

.” He stood just out of reach in that bright red hoodie wearing those jeans and he slipped a hand into his front pocket again, fidgeting with his keys or his phone or whatever it was he did when he was just a little bit anxious.

“So what are you here for then, Baekhyun?” You’d long since dropped your arms and they hung at your side.

His easy smile flattened out, vanishing from his face and he looked into your eyes, watching the shift in your face and recognizing the change in your tone easily.

Something different was brewing inside of your chest that had replaced the silly anxiousness you felt earlier. It had you taking the smallest step closer to him when you asked your brazen question.

This new feeling, a mirror of that which fueled your fingers to text him to tell him to come over, it had you lifting your eyes up from his lips where you’d just watched the nervous way his tongue darted out, your eyebrow bounced over your eye to see it, and when you’d pulled your eyes back up you did it slowly enough that there was zero doubt between the two of you that he had seen it.

This man, this beautiful, glorious, amazingly competent-in-all-ways man, was watching your face with his lips parted and with his words caught up inside his mouth. This man looked nervous right now, inside your home with you looking into his eyes waiting very patiently for his explanations for why he had to see you so urgently tonight.

So far he had none that he dared speak out loud.

You knew this might not be completely fair but it sure was fun watching the man who always had something to say about everything ever, finally at a loss for words.

What would it take to pull those words out of him.

You reached for the top button of the shirt you wore. It was a loose and flowy top and you knew it would only take one button for the shoulder to fall off. You knew the bruise he’d made with his mouth would be visible. You knew the lacy bra you wore would also not be very well concealed and just one more button would bring the view of the soft mounds of your breasts before him. You were on a roll with one button and you were unstoppable with the second button.

Of course his eyes touched below your neck, of course he saw the mark and of course his eyes looked down to the glimpse of your exposed bra. With his eyes having a look he bit down in his lip and you heard the rough exhale through his nose.

And he was in motion. His hand lifted to rub through his hair and another hand lifted to rub over his face and he physically reeled standing right here just out of your reach and with about as much pent up energy inside of his body as you felt inside of your own.

“You,” he lifted a lazy hand in your general direction, waving his slim fingers at you, “I — did not only come here for

that

. I also wanted to make sure you were okay after yesterday, I swear.”

He spilled the words out quickly and pulled his lips in between his teeth as he lifted an oh so innocent hand to lay over his chest as he did his very best to convince you of his noble intentions for coming here tonight. It made you grin. You couldn’t stop it.

The smile on your face was knowing. While you appreciated his concern you were very clearly just fine. And that wasn’t the part you wanted to get to the bottom of. You raised an eyebrow and dropped your voice an octave and you slowly asked your next question.

“You didn’t only come here for

what

, Baekhyun?”

You whispered in response, needing him to use the words himself out loud before you exploded right here in the space between your entryway and your kitchen. You wanted him to speak openly and honestly with you. You needed to know if he wanted to use you tonight as badly as you wanted to use him tonight.

His eyes were steady on you and you looked at him, mustering all of your experience from your most intense professional negotiations. You steeled your mouth shut and lifted your eyebrows in his direction with a tiny raise of your chin.

He watched your face. His breathing seemed to grow heavier and he seemed to war with himself inside his own head for a few breaths if it.

After a moment his head ticked upward and the look in his eyes grew darker.

“Okay,” he said and his lips hung open after the word came out. A decision it seemed had been reached.

“Okay, fine.” He took a step, it was a big one and you miraculously stood your ground as he moved in.

You did have to close your eyes for a second as he closed in on you. You’d asked for this. And when you felt the warmth of his breath against your face he was so close to you now that even with your eyes open, the pretty features of his face were a blur.

More than his hot breath on you, his hands had come too, those slim fingers ran a path along your neck, slipping his slow moving fingertips over the bruise. You knew his eyes would be feasting on the sight of where he had marked you as his own.

“You want to know why I came?” His hand moved now and you gasped to feel that hand slip around your chin and grip your face tightly. He pulled, making your face turn away from his so that his lips touched up against your ear. He held your face with a surprising strength and your breaths raged in and out, unable to conceal how affected you felt for him to be touching you this roughly.

You felt his soft lips at your ear a moment before you heard the lowly growled words that came from deep within his chest.

”l came because I want to fuck you.” You closed your eyes and your mouth was open as short breaths pushed out of your lungs. You had asked for this but had nowhere prepared for the impact of it. Oh this felt better than you had expected.

“Is this what you want to hear,

My Love

” You felt overwhelmed by his words, by his hands, by the way he pressed his firm body up against you and the way the edge of the hard countertop dug into your back. The pain of it made you feel somehow still connected to your body right now despite the otherworldly arousal that coursed through you.

“I came because you feel so hot and so wet and so good around my dick that all I can think about is fucking you over and over again.”

His hand moved your chin to face him again and he pulled his face back just enough for you to be able to make out the dark brown of his eyes. His pupils were so dark and all consuming they looked like black holes ready to devour you completely.

“You have no idea how desperate I am for you. If you asked me to get on my knees and beg, I would drop — I would drop to my knees, again, for you.”

“But what you have no fucking idea about, is how It goes so much deeper than that.”
Your mind was too jumbled to make sense of what he meant. You did not have any space to translate — deeper than what?

His thumb moved then and you felt pressure as he pressed over it your bottom lip, his wild eyes watching the way your mouth opened slightly as he did it.

Every bit of resistance you may have had in you was gone. You easily molded under his hands, feeling the effects of him in more than just your mouth, the heat spread all over your body, dropping into your stomach, pooling in between your legs.

“More,” he said darkly as if this one word had punctuated the shift into a very different Baekhyun and you let your lips fall open more. His thumb pushed in, hooked around your bottom teeth and pulled you forward into his open mouth. You felt the hot wetness of his tongue when he pushed it inside of your mouth. This darkness in his voice sounded familiar; like the same Baekhyun that bit you. This must be him, when he’d lost the carefully curated control, this was him.

You felt inundated. Blindsided by the way your body reacted to it. You sucked on his tongue that he’d pushed into your mouth and you heard a low throaty groan from him as he slowly pulled it back out, leaving you shaking and trembling to watch his face twist into pleasure. His eyes had rolled closed and with him pressed up against your body this way you could feel the rigid heat between his legs pressed up against you.

His hands were trembling and he took them off of your face. He was retreating. It took you a few seconds to realize this and you missed his hands touching you when he’d pulled them away. He stumbled back, landing on one of your kitchen stools.

You watched him breathe through it all the while desperately trying to catch your own breath. When he spoke next he sounded worked up and agitated.

“I am fucking wrecked by you. I feel insane. I feel completely destroyed,” When his eyes pulled open he was back; whispering softly through parted lips and trembling hands that he fisted at his waist.

“But, I also know how lopsided this is. I know that I’m the one who fell too hard — too fast. I think you know it too — teasing me like that. Making me lose control, making me want to lose control —”

You’d done something awful. You’d introduced some doubt inside of his mind and you felt the need to undo all of that this very instant. Was that really why? Did he really have so much confusion about your intentions?

“You must know that I would do anything. I know I should hold back — I need to hold back with you, but…”

You took a step into him, leaned forward and pulled his bottom lip in between your lips and you kissed him, interrupting his false beliefs about how much you felt for him with a kiss.

He responded to your kiss right away with a need and incredible want. That he didn’t know the signs — that he didn’t recognize just how strong of a hold he had on you was a failure on your part — this couldn’t be the only reason. You wondered if it was something you’d missed.

His lips kissed you with such an intensity that you had to place both of your hands on his cheeks to pull him back, just so you could breathe, just so you could speak to the truth of how you felt about him; how you had been feeling about him all day. You had things to say to him.

”I worship you —” Your labored exhale painted over his wet lips, “Baekhyun.” Your chest constricted when you heard your own voice utter those scary words. You’d never before told someone something like this and still deep inside your chest you knew how true it was.

With your small declaration you saw his eyes roll and he bit down on his bottom lip. He inhaled through his nose, his teeth bit down hard on that lip. A small whimper came from the back of his throat.

But you weren’t done. You had so much to tell him and you mustered up the courage to speak.

“You occupy my mind and my heart so completely. I even considered going to bed early tonight just so I could hurry up and see you tomorrow morning.

“If I’ve given you any impression that I don’t want you, that I didn’t want you here; I am sorry. And I’m sorry about the way I greeted you earlier. I was — just nervous. I don’t want you to hold back with me.”

His face ticked back and forth, you felt it happen within your hands.

“I’ve never seen you nervous.” Baekhyun said matter of factly with his pink lips hung open after he spoke.

“I am very good at hiding it.” You let go of his face, trusting that he might stay put and you waved both of your hands over your own chest. “It happens all on the inside. My stomach is a wreck.”

“But you, texting me like that, and standing there at my door looking like this…” you waved a hand over the length of him and his eyes followed your waving fingers to look down at himself with a slowly growing smile that he tried to conceal on his face. His fingertips reached out and he touched your shirt, rubbing the fabric between his thumb and index finger.

“You make me very nervous. I thought for sure I was the one who liked you more.” Your confessions had been tumbling out of you quite freely now. It seemed you’d cleared the clog. “I think we have a lot to learn about each other.”

He watched your face as you spoke. You said all you could think of to say and the small tugs he made on your shirt were distracting, they made you lose whatever else you might have had to say. You reached a hand forward to tug at one of the red strings that hung out of his hood.

His fingers released the bit of your shirt he was holding. He’d been absent minded with it but when he reached out again he lightly gripped the next closed button on your top. There were only two left that held this thing together. His focus was light on that button he held between his index finger and his thumb and you felt a small tug as a third finger came into play, pushing the button through the hole; exposing more of your skin.

He was making you dizzy again. You felt his light touch along your stomach just below the front clasp of your bra and your own small gasps were the only sound in this quiet space when he lightly traced the lace edge of your bra, his fingertip running up the soft flesh of your breast. He followed up the strap and you felt him rub the pad of his fingertip on your shoulder, over the bruise there.

Baekhyun leaned. You felt the movement in him moments before you felt his hair tickling lightly over your skin. You felt the puff of breath from his mouth moments before you felt his soft lips on you and when his lips landed over that same exact spot you had to place your hands on his shoulders to keep yourself from falling over. You braced for it, you could feel it coming when you felt the parting of his lips, the wetness of his tongue and the hardness of his teeth and he bit you again, harder this time in the exact same spot as before. It took your breath away and you had to open your mouth; a small hiss and a quiet moan.

“Do I really make you nervous?” He asked in a low whisper into the space beside your neck. You felt goosebumps all over your skin. His hands were moving and you felt a tiny click. He had figured out the front clasp of your bra. You felt his mouth on you again, this time his lips and his tongue all over. You might have nodded your head. You weren't very much in control of your body anymore.

But his hands, those hands, they were moving again. His slim fingertips had slipped into the space between your goosebumped skin and the waistband of your shorts and he pushed with his hands, leaving only your lace underwear behind. He was undressing you. In the kitchen with all of your lights on and your hands rubbed over the soft red hoodie he still wore, lamenting over the lack of warm skin you felt. He was still completely clothed when gravity took your shorts.

“Do you really want me to not hold back?” His next question was spoken into your open mouth. You gasped, inhaling the sweet smelling air from inside his lungs when his hands reached around and gripped your ass and you were being lifted, with his mouth still connected to your own and his eyes wide open as he looked into your face between the kisses.

He had so many clothes on. You felt the roughness of the denim through the thin lace panties that you still wore and against the bare skin of your thighs that wrapped around his thin waist. You felt your own wetness that soaked the fabric press against you as you were lifted and you were carried; he was moving now.

You were in a different room. You inhaled a shocked breath when you were tossed, your back meeting a soft bed and you were entirely too naked for how many clothes he wore as he climbed over you on the bed, his bare knee and its warm skin a stark contrast to the scratchy jeans, you felt him push that knee roughly against your legs, making you open tor him.

“Baek — clothes,” you managed only a few nouns. He understood and you heard a quiet chuckle from the back of his throat, only it didn’t quite sound like humor. It sounded like something else. A little boy playing roughly and carelessly with a toy, perhaps.

He caged you in with his arms pinning you down on either side and his bare knee pressed up high between your parted legs. You were certain he could feel your wetness on his knee.

“I’ll keep them on for now, because you like them.” His balance shifted then and he moved, propping up on one elbow so he could trace down the curve of your body with his fingertips. He was moving very slowly and you squirmed below the uncomfortable tickle you felt when he reached your hip bones. He was moving lower and his knee was gone, replaced by his wandering hand.

“God, you are wet. I can feel you worshiping me, right here,” his fingertips pressed over your panties and the purposeful drag of his fingers over your swollen center had you gasping. He did it again and again and you responded desperately with every touch and when he pushed the fabric aside and slipped two slim fingers inside of your wetness you could feel yourself losing this game he was playing.

Just with the build up before you got into this room, you were already in bad shape, but now with his fingers touching; you felt yourself too close. He was guiding you there. You knew he could tell too. His movements were deliberate and he was watching your face closely as he did it. You could feel on the edge of it, you were so close to it, your breathing was ragged and desperate and he watched with a quiet and calm expression on his face as he brought you there. You squirmed below him, you touched just along the edge of it with a whimper when all at once he pulled his hand away abruptly, slipping well outside of your wetness and far away from the release you had been so close to. That hand, that hand was gone, his fingers and the feeling all of it was gone. The denial felt like a splash of cold water against your hot skin.

“Do want me to fuck you,

Miss Manager

?” He spoke out your work title in a hushed whisper and the surprise of hearing that title — right here with you in the state you were in, it pulled your eyes open to look into his face. When he caught your attention you saw a slight narrowing of his dark eyes. It was a challenge. You wondered right then about the fantasies this man must have had at work. You wondered how you would be able to move forward tomorrow knowing what you now knew from his one question he had just asked you.

“You know you just have to ask me nicely,” he said with a shrug of his face. He lifted his hand, still wet from you, up to his lips and you watched his lips part and the tip of his tongue emerged to lick up the wetness before he stuck both of his fingers inside of his mouth, pulling them out of his mouth slowly as he looked into your eyes.

This was too much. You hadn’t been prepared for this kind of behavior from him and the most shocking thing was just how much you were turned on by every single thing he did to you.

Yes, you did want him to fuck you. You were feeling entirely too desperate for it and he was completely and utterly in control of every single thought you had coursing through your brain.

“B-Baek—take off your clothes—”

“Uh-uh,” he interrupted firmly when you had started to speak. “I don’t think that’s the proper way to ask your assistant for a favor. Really, you are more professional than that. At least say

please

.”
This was definitely a game he was playing now.

You felt all of it, all at once. The sting of being so close to a finish and being denied it. The sting of him denying you even for a few seconds what you had so clearly wanted from him. You felt the arousal still overtaking every single one of your senses and still so very affected by his goddamned audacity to be so clearly having so much fun with you right now.

It made you feel insane. All of it was too much.

You weren't speaking right away for sheer loss of words. You felt like you’d lost them along with your sanity and all you could do was reach your hand out and tug lightly at his red sweater. You were greeted with a small slap at the back of your hand for that and he was inhaling to speak again with about as much mischief in his eyes as you had ever seen.

“

Répète après moi

,” he began in French for no reason you could make any sense of, not that you could make any sense of anything that was happening to you right now.

He spoke clearly and slowly as if you were a naughty student in need of reprimanding — with a finger pointed at his mouth, touching on his bottom lip. This was the finger that had just been inside of you.

“

Assistant Byun

…

will you please

” he said with a pointed pause and he watched you and he waited.

It was your turn to repeat after him.

“Assistant Byun, will you please take off your clothes and fuck me?” It was always best to rip the bandaid off, you said it in a single breath. The seconds after the words came out of your lips though, you felt their massive impact.

Every single day, and all day long at work, you started dozens of sentences to him exactly like this. This was the most dangerous game you could have played with him.

His eyes were watching you darkly as you said it and you caught the slow roll of his eyes into the back of his head as he threw his face back and away from you, feeling the very real impact of that sentence you had just said to him.

No doubt, committing it to memory so that every single time you started with those words at work, this very moment would return to his mind — and to yours as well.

He didn't respond right away with words but he was moving before you heard him whisper the quiet, “Yes ma’am,” that he always used as a response at the office.

He quickly pulled the red sweater up over his head and tossed it onto the floor behind him. He’d grabbed the white shirt along with the sweater, removing everything at once. You saw the clear firmness of his skin at last. You could smell the clean, expensive fragrance that he wore. You felt the bed move and you heard the telltale sounds of a belt buckle, a zipper, the swish of jeans and he was back to you all heat and skin and the overwhelmingly amazing way he smelled and he was back; he was back.

You felt ready to snap. You felt wound so tight; the anticipation alone might have done you in, but he was back. You’d abandoned the panties. They were soaked anyway.

He was above you; coating you entirely. The heavy weight of his body covered you, you felt restricted in your breathing and he was here. He was yours; you had him at last. He was in between your legs, he was on top of you and his arms wrapped below your shoulders as he pulled your body into his own, a tangle here without any distance at all between the skin of your bodies and between your faces. You felt him there too, right between your legs, so perfectly lined up. You’d wrapped your tense legs around his waist to pull him in closer to you.

He was looking into your eyes and when he pushed inside it was all at once; in one fluid motion. Your mouth opened to gasp and his mouth opened over your mouth, pushing his tongue between your lips and biting down with his teeth with a matching rhythm; the same motion that his hips moved inside of you, until the gasping from his own lungs grew to be too much for him to take.

You touched him everywhere, needing to feel that smooth skin from his abdomen to his chest to his neck to his face and as you passed your fingers over his lips you gasped when turned his head, catching a finger between his teeth and biting down hard. You wondered how many marks he had made on you now.

You were dizzy. You were overcome. He was sitting up and watching the space where your bodies connected; where he disappeared inside of you again and again and you were lost.

You were lost. His pace was affected by the feeling of your tremors, by the tightening of all of your muscles and you were lost. You heard the growling curses that flew from his lips and the whining sounds that came from his mouth.

His actions were a blur. You were too consumed by this man. You know that you came undone before he did, you felt his strong grip as his hand dug hard into your inner thigh and you felt the slight pain as he pushed inside of you roughly. It brought a sound to your lips and you cried out again when his thumb between your bodies colliding did you in again and he was shaking. He was trembling on top of you with a noisy grunt in your ear and a shuttering that you could feel inside of you he was shaking.

The comedown was lengthy. A thousand thoughts came rushing into your mind the second it cleared enough to allow for any little bit of rational thinking. This man…this man was surprising in every single way he could be. He was a marathon and a marvel. He was a hurricane and a deluge and you felt almost too spent to even move, but you knew you must. You reached for something on the bed, finding the panties and deeming them good enough for this mess and his breathing had finally settled enough for a small moan to come from his chest.

Despite the relief you felt, despite the sex being what you needed from him you still longed to touch him. You were sore and you were spent and still you reached for his warmth as if you would never be free of this desire for him. You found him easily. He wrapped himself around you and you only half paid attention to any of those thoughts racing through your mind. Concerns and worries for how you might resist him at work, now that you had these ideas presented in such a tempting way. Worries for what the future with him might actually hold. Worries about how deeply you had fallen for him and how desperately you felt this desire to be with him all of the time.

“Where did you park?” You finally spoke after a long spell of silent breathing.

“Secure lot,” he said over your head and he tightened the grip of his arms around your shoulders and laid a heavy leg over your hip.

You saw him arrive at your home empty handed and he definitely didn’t bring a suit for work tomorrow hidden in his pockets, but the hold he had on you was tight and it was warm and his breathing was beginning to even out as the sounds of nighttime insects began to chirp outside of your closed window and you decided that all of those pesky little details and worries and concerns could wait definitely until tomorrow.

[To be Continued]

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Work was different.

After the cosmic shitshow of a Saturday had passed and it seemed like everyone had lived to see another week. Your Monday morning workday was back to normal.

But it was so unbelievably outside of anything normal you had ever experienced. There was so much that had changed in such a short amount of time.

You’d woken up very early that morning — you did not have an exact hour to call it but you knew you’d caught brief glimpses of the dim light of a freshly rising sun through your window. You’d only caught small bits of that particular shade of dawn with your sleepy eyes and your otherwise-occupied mind registered even less through the soft moans, indulgent touches, and wordless love-making that started your day.

Baekhyun had to leave quite early to go home and get changed for work; all the while lamenting on the distance and even going so far as threatening to sell his apartment and buy something in the fancy new high rise that had just gone up across the street from your building. Or better yet (his words), he could just move in with you and never have to wake up without you in his bed ever again.

You had to gently remind him that all of that talk sounded pretty abrupt and dramatic for a three-day old relationship and his face worked through a variety of emotions before finally settling into a deep pout that would not leave his face even after your many assurances that no, you weren’t planning breaking up with him, and yes, you really did love him even more than he loved you —which in itself involved much back and forth until you both just agreed to disagree.

So work today, it was back to normal but normal seemed to have a brand new definition. You were busy but not too busy. You were floating through your tasks with the ease that came along with the familiarity of it all, all the while doing your absolute best not to just sit and watch him all day long.

It was actually quite difficult — keeping that look out of your eyes whenever he was around you. That look that a woman gets when she looks at the man who had pressed her back into a mattress for hours the night before.

You had to make an effort. Your eyes were so easily and naturally drawn to his face; your ears to his laughs; your smile to his smile; your goosebumps to his secret touches; your hushed giggles to his close whispers.

He’d watched your face too closely and much too knowingly when you declared in your best manager's voice that the blinds to your office would stay open all day long without exception and he was expected to remain out of touching distance from you whenever he was in here.

His whispered

‘Yes ma’am’

did not inspire any confidence at all. In fact hearing that triggered something in you that made everything worse.

You wondered when this powerful spell would wear off enough for you both to be able to act like normal functioning adults with full-time jobs around each other. You figured the close proximity wasn’t doing either of you any favors but you still couldn't stand the thought of sending him away so you could get some actual work done.

It was just before lunchtime when the first real close call happened. A mere 3.5 days into this brand new relationship and already — already.

Yes, it was your fault. In fact, Baekhyun had been the better behaved of the two of you. It was probably because it had just been so long since you’ve felt this feeling. It had been so very long since you’d had someone to love and genuinely felt loved by someone that you had simply lost your mind a little bit.

Baekhyun had been hovering near your desk holding your schedule calendar in his hands as he flipped through, reading an occasional line from the upcoming week. You had a few meetings, most that he read out loud, one that he mumbled his way through that would be coming up later today. You only half listened as you watched him speaking from down in your desk chair. You’d pulled the lever below your seat and leaned way back in the chair, looking up at him as he spoke and he took occasional glances down over the top of the book he held up covering part of his face. You could see only from his cute nose upward but every now and then his hands would drop the book just a little and his pink pouty mouth would appear as he emphasized some word he was saying for importance. Every time those lips pursed outward it reminded you of kissing him. When his lips parted you caught the occasional tip of his soft tongue.

You weren’t really listening. He was very pretty when he spoke. You liked the sound of his voice and the way his lips moved when he said the word

‘Noona.’

Which for some reason he was saying again.

‘Noona.’

‘Noona?’

‘Noona!’

Oh shit, he was talking to you.

“You aren’t listening at all,” your brain sharpened to the words. “I’ve been talking for ten minutes. Did you hear anything I just said? The final reports, the wrap party venue, the one-two-three meetings after lunch? Hello?”

He was right. The very mild frustration you heard in his voice was adorable. You pulled your lips into a frown because you were very sorry, even if you weren't that sorry you knew you were acting up right now. This was just so very hard. Maybe it was because you were very sore all over and actually quite sleep deprived from the three (!) times he woke you up last night.

“Sorry,

Baby

, my mind was wandering,” you confessed easily, hearing the dreaminess in your own voice as you said it. And you heard the long and slow sigh that came from his chest. He was closing his eyes up and he was steadying himself before he spoke.

“I’m not going to ask…not going to ask,” he said to himself a few times and he held the calendar closed with one hand, a slim finger stuck In between the pages to mark his place and he lifted his other hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“I’m not going to ask. I don't want to know. Do you hear what I said? I said, I do not want to know what you were thinking about. Do not tell me. I am not asking.” His eyes were wider now and you could make out a bit of desperation in his voice.

You lifted your foot, pointing the tips of your toes and you lightly traced the outline of his thigh.

“Gonna get caught. The blinds are open. Put your foot down.” He was speaking under his breath and you felt his hand come down and push your foot away when you’d slipped your foot around the front of his hips. Despite the admonishing words, you could very clearly see the smile at the edges of his lips and you could hear the playfulness in his tone. You giggled when another pass of your foot around the back of him, poking his butt earned you a harder slap and he took the smallest step away from you.

“Noona.” He hissed through gritted teeth, doing his best impression of a very serious man who meant business and you spun around in your chair laughing harder at the sound of him.

The spin was harder than you meant and it made your chair hit your desk. A small metal cup you kept full of pens that was on the edge of your desk went flying and you turned back around to see them go. They landed across the space behind where Baekhyun was standing.

You looked down at the mess on your floor and Baekhyun also turned to look down at the mess on your floor.

His eyes were just kind of wild looking when he turned back to look into your face and you looked at his face with what you imagined was a similar expression.

Neither of you moved right away and your mind whirled with the best way to clean this mess up. Did you risk the closeness and clean it up together? Did you get up and do it yourself, knowing that he would likely join you on this floor behind the couch, behind the desk, behind the view of those open mini blinds? Did you just watch him do it? You did really like the way his butt looked in his business slacks…

“Did you do this on purpose?” He whispered the question harshly and it didn’t sound like he was joking, but you felt the laughter rise up in your chest at his accusation.

“No, Baekhyun, I didn’t, I swear.” You were laughing while you said it and that didn’t do anything for your credibility. It was true. You really did not. But you sounded so guilty.

“Did you do this so I have to bend over in front of you and pick them up?” His smile on his face as he asked this follow up question was widening and you placed a hand on your stomach to try and stop your own laughter.

You stood up from the chair.

“I’ll get them.” You raised a hand and his own hands waved you away dramatically.

“No.” He said flatly, putting the calendar down on your desk. “No, no. I’m the one sleeping my way to the top. I should get the full sexual harassment experience. Do you want me to pick them up one by one so it lasts longer? Do you want me to struggle while I do it — act like they’re really hard to pick up?”

You felt at a loss. You were laughing too hard to be of any use in this conversation and he was grunting noisily as he bent at the waist and picked up the first pen.

“Ohh..Miss Manager, it’s so heavy,” he mewled suggestively and he placed the pen sideways in-between his teeth as he stood up slowly, arching his back seductively as he did it.

His voice changed and lifted into something more naive sounding, “Miss Manager, you said I could have a promotion if I did this, right?”

You caught a movement out of the corner of your eye that snatched your attention, your laughter, and your breath at the same time.

You heard someone clear their throat at the same time as a knock sounded out on your door. Your door had been opened just in time for his last sentence to have been heard by whoever was at your door.

“Assistant Byun,” you said flatly with a very serious tone taking you over. The change was so abrupt that Baekhyun straightened his spine and spun on his heels, quickly dropping the second pen from his mouth and dropping the other two he had already picked up. They landed on the floor at his feet adding back to the mess.

Your heart had dropped down into your stomach and all traces of your earlier laughter had stopped dead and you stood up straighter, running your hand down over the front of your blouse and smoothing out your skirt just in case anything has been out of place to make this situation look worse than it already did.

“Sorry, I was joking,” he said with his voice back to as normal and as professional and flat sounding as possible. “Bad joke, my apologies.” he added quietly with his head hung down in shame directed at you but only for the benefit of whoever it was that had just come in.

At your door, doing an awkward little glance back and forth between your face and your assistant standing with his chin pressed down into his chest was Sandi, one of your junior translators whose desk was just outside of your office. If she had any thoughts about what she had just walked in on, she didn’t seem to dwell for long on them.

“Manager, Sophie’s 1st is here for you. Should I let him in?”

Baekhyun’s head had lifted and you caught the drift of Sandi’s eyes as they touched on his face and she had a sweet smile on her lips directed at him.

“Hi Baekhyun,” she whispered lightly and his hand lifted with the smallest wave with a pretty smile before he was spinning quickly to squat down on the floor to quickly gather all of the pens.

He made quick work of the mess and Sandi was really standing at your doorway for much longer than necessary you thought briefly before your quiet appraisal of the danger of the situation you both had stupidly put yourselves into, well not both, this had been entirely your fault. You really had lost your entire mind. Your blinds had been open and you always emphasized your open door policy with your team. They only ever knocked when you had the blinds closed and even then you’d never minded their interruptions before.

“Manager?” Sandi’s quiet voice interjected and when you pulled your eyes away from the slim fingers that carefully arranged the pens neatly inside the metal cup that was sat once again on your desk where it belonged to look back up into her questioning face.

“Do I let him in?” She asked again.

“Assistant Byun, do I have a meeting with Chet right now?” You leaned and whispered to your assistant from a completely appropriate distance for a strictly professional relationship and Baekhyun straightened his posture, straightened his suit jacket, his tie, and adjusted the lanyard with the ID badge around his neck so it hung just so.

“Yes ma’am. I mentioned it when I was going over your schedule.” There was an edge to his voice as he said it. You felt weirdly blindsided. You grabbed for the schedule and flipped to today’s entry, finding a single four letter c-word that did not say Chet written in carefully penned tiny capital letters. Right there in his handwriting it sat.

‘CUNT-11a’

“You can let him in,” you called out to Sandi and when you looked up at the girl she had a weirdly familiar dreamy lost look in her eyes as she looked at your (boyfriend) assistant. It took her a few moments to register your words and she left your doorway with a nod of her head and another small wave in Baekhyun’s direction which he, again, returned with a sweet smile.

Your mood felt off.

Now Chet was here and Baekhyun had so much female attention in this office the man probably couldn’t go five steps without running into an admirer. Now you had to deal with Chet, the misogynistic hugger and why was he even here? You half hoped he would try and ask you out again just so you could once and for all burst that hopeful bubble of his, tell him it wasn’t going to happen now or ever so he should just give up and set his sights on some poor other girl in this office.

Not that there was anyone here who deserved that kind of attention.

You settled yourself down well behind your desk seated deep in your office chair and you noticed instead of his usual seat for these meetings at the far corner of your office where he wouldn’t be an interference of a distraction, Baekhyun parked himself just at the side of your desk, leaning a hip against the window sill that stuck out just enough for you to hit your elbow on it whenever you got up too carelessly.

Standing there, very much in between you and whoever might want to get back here with you for a hug — he felt like a bouncer to some exclusive night club.

Chet came in a few moments later with all of the charisma of a used car salesman trying to unload a lemon on some poor sucker and walked up to the edge of your desk with a wide smile on his face and his hands outstretched, clearly expecting you to come around for the usual hug. You didn’t stand and you didn’t move anything but your mouth to speak.

“Chet, what can I help you with today?”

His hands hung in the air and his smile faded just a little before it widened again, this time not reaching his flighty eyes. The man was clearly taken aback and he stood there for a while just watching your face with that same fake smile on his lips. After a while you saw his focus shift over to Baekhyun before you had his attention again. He did it a few times and you stared into his face as you waited for him to come to terms with whatever he was coming to terms with. It took a while. He was looking between you and your assistant who was, it seemed, carefully examining the leaf of the fake tree that stood by your window.

“Ahh, you never returned my call. Did you get my message about the uhh—final edits?” His confidence sounded a touch rattled, which you had never before heard from him.

You furrowed your brows and pouted your lips. Genuinely curious now. You hadn’t heard of any new messages from him. You had been rather distracted all day though, perhaps your flawless record at work had finally been shot by your own silliness all morning.

You were genuinely thinking now.

Message? What message? Did you miss a work message from Chet? You looked at your computer screen and found nothing unread in your inbox and your latest direct message chain with him was from a week ago. Nothing unread between the two. You looked across your desk at the beefcake and lifted your chin in the direction of your suspiciously quiet assistant while keeping your eyes on the man standing in your office.

“Assistant Byun, did I get a message from Chet?”

Baekhyun didn’t answer right away and you noticed that Chet’s focus looked just a little more frazzled than it had when he first walked in. He looked like his edges were just a little hazy. Like he was beginning to show some signs of annoyance with you, or with Baekhyun or maybe with the pair of you. The longer your assistant stood silent the more Chet’s patience seemed to be wearing out and after a few moments of it he looked to be openly glaring in the direction of where that fake tree stood by your window.

“Umm,” it took him too long to finally respond and when you did look, Baekhyun was posed with an index finger pointed up to his chin; on his face a look of confusion. “I don’t—think there was anything from Chet.” He was shaking his head in response.

“I left it with you.” Chet spoke up suddenly, directing his voice at Baekhyun without his any hint of his usual pep. You heard some attitude and a challenge now.

Baekhyun still wore that same exaggerated look of confusion and his head was shaking back and forth with his eyebrows raised. With what you knew about Baekhyun you were nearly positive this was intentional. He knew exactly what Chet was talking about and he was playing a game.

“It was just this morning.” Chet added in a downright hostile tone and you heard a sudden gasp from beside the tree. Inside of your stomach, a bad feeling was brewing. It felt a lot like whatever this was would not end here with this quick and unexpected meeting in your office.

Baekhyun’s mouth was open now. Sudden remembrance. He was snapping his fingers and making a big show of it.

You had to bite down on your tongue to keep from making any sounds.

“Actually, you know what? I think I do remember something, but

Noona

it was,” he lifted his fingers in front of your face, holding his index and his thumb about a centimeter apart from each other, “very small.”

He whispered the last two words and his lips pulled into a dramatic frown and he shook his head back and forth. You covered your mouth with your open hand and you held your breath, dipping your face so it was hiding behind your computer screen.

“What did you just say?” Chet asked humorlessly. Clearly he got the joke and took its intended offense. “Do you have a problem man?”

Baekhyun’s hand was on his chest and on his face was a look of exaggerated pity. He ignored the second question.

“Happens to a lot of guys, bro,” Baekhyun whispered and he frowned his face again.

It took you a moment to compose yourself enough to remove your hand from over your lips. You recognized that you had to intervene before this grew any more out of hand than it had already grown. You should not be encouraging this. It was childish and juvenile of a joke and your hidden laughter was only encouraging Baekhyun to act this way.

Baekhyun took a few steps closer to where you sat, coming into the space right beside and you very much behind your desk. He was obviously in the exclusive club that Chet had no admittance to.

He pointed to the notepad you kept beside your phone and in the very bottom corner, written with the finest point pen and in what had to be nearly microscopic handwriting was a just barely legible,

‘Sophie needs FE approved -Chet.’

You looked down at the note, lifting your attention to the big burly man standing with a face full of annoyance and his arms crossed over his chest and you had to look back down again at the note.

You swear you didn’t do it on purpose but the second you felt your vision strain over the tiny letters and you had to pull your eyes into a genuine squint, you heard a not very well concealed snort of laughter beside you.

He coughed into it but it was not at all subtle.

“Ahh, I see now. Yes. I’ll get that to you within the hour. And Chet,

honey

?” you let your face pull into one of sympathy. “You didn’t have to come down for that.”

He cleared his throat and you heard the beginnings of some sort of rebuttal.

“You’ll get it when you get it, Chet.” You raised your voice as you dropped the smile.

He absolutely didn't need to be here for this. You absolutely would get it done and send it over quickly and you felt extremely done with looking at the man now.

“Within the hour. Sophie’s been up my ass about this,” he said with a scowl on his face. His eyes touched on yours but every other breath had them bouncing over to your assistant’s face. He lifted a hand and pointed a finger in your direction, it felt a little bit like a threat. The action felt unlike anything he’d ever done to you and you watched his face with the most stone faced expression you could manage. His true colors had shown themselves and they were hideous. You wanted nothing more to do with him than you absolutely had to.

“You take care, Chet.” You refused to be bullied by this guy. He was at least three pay grades below you and it was pretty telling how little he respected you with the drastic drop in basic decently the second it became clear that he had no chance of sleeping with you.

A few moments after he had left and the quiet settled over your office you signed the final approvals and sent them over to Sophie’s office.

“Baekhyun?” You called out sweetly toward the man who was typing something out on his phone.

“Didn’t we agree not to mess around when it came to work?” You didn't want to scold him. You really didn’t. But you had both promised each other that the work was so important to the both of you that there would be no silly games.

You had his attention. He had let the phone sag in his lap and he was looking across the office at your face without any immediate answer for you. After a moment his eyes dropped another foot and he was staring ahead of himself without focus.

“I don't want you meeting him,” he said after a moment. His eyes lifted back up into yours and his face ticked back and forth a minimal amount. “I don't like you meeting him.”

“Sometimes I have to meet him,” you said with a sigh. You didn't like it either but at least for the next few days until the wrap, you really did not have any choice.

“

Noona

,” he began and you watched his face as he inhaled a small breath to speak and let his lips hang open without continuing his words. His lips closed back up again and he shook his head.

“Nothing,” he said softly and he pulled his eyes away from yours as he looked back down at his phone.

“Say it, Baek.”

You definitely didn’t want him to feel like he couldn't speak his peace.

“Nah, it’s stupid.” He said and he was scrolling on his screen. You could see the agitation rolling off his shoulders. You could tell something was up.

“Just tell me though, what is it?” You could be as stubborn as he could be and after a while he stood up with a defeated sigh carrying his phone in his hand, he walked up to your desk and sat it down with the screen up.

On his screen you saw your instagram profile, which you hadn’t even known he knew about, and he had the tab opened with your likes. You saw with your own eye the tiny heart you’d placed on a picture there. It was something Chet had posted, and you had no memory of having done this. The picture that you had hearted was just of some sunset he must have posted. Something innocuous and unconcerning but it clearly had bothered your boyfriend enough for him to be pointing it out to you right now. You did remember scrolling mindlessly before you got ready for work this morning. Could that have been when you’d done this?

“I don't like you meeting him. I don't like you liking his pictures. Especially not pictures he posted this morning, after I left your bed.”

You didn’t remember doing it. You looked down at the evidence and it was right there.

“I’ll block him,” you said quietly. “I didn't even know that was his picture, but that doesn’t matter because it’s obvious that I did that and I am sorry. It definitely won't happen again.”

Baekhyun was watching your face and you quietly pulled your own phone out, opened up the app and did just as you told him you would. You’d meant to block Chet after the mop-water incident but it honestly had just slipped your mind. So much had happened since then, your mind had been a bit of a mess. You just forgot and here you’d accidentally hurt Baekhyun’s feelings because of your carelessness.

He was swallowing and he blinked his eyes slowly as he looked away for a second.

“Now I feel like an asshole,” he said under his breath.

You pushed your lips into a small pout and his eyes glanced down at your face, lightly sniffing his nose once before he looked around again.

“It’s done,” you held your phone up and waved it at him with a smile. He groaned and closed his eyes up.

“Don't encourage me,

Noona

. I know you didn’t mean anything by it. I told you it was stupid.”

“I was going to block him anyway, I just forgot to because I was distracted by my sexy boyfriend.” His mood still seemed a little down but maybe after a few compliments and perhaps some lunch he would smooth out a little.

It turns out Baekhyun had plans for lunch. He did often share a meal with a few of his fellow assistants and today it seemed like the day. The plans had been in place for a while now. He also reminded you that he had already told you about it, at least twice today, back when you had lost your mind.

It was fine. You could use the quiet for an hour. You had your headphones and you could even take a walk around the block to help your food digest. You assured him that you were a big girl and you could handle a few solo lunches. You’d had plenty of them before he arrived, and you’d been just fine.

And you were. You went for your stroll, you listened to some music and you ate something tasty from a shop around the corner. You drank too much water during your walk and when you came back you had to make a stop at the bathroom. It was perfect because you could refresh your lipstick and make sure you didn't look too much of a mess after venturing outdoors.

As expected, your hair was a bit messy but nothing a few fingers run through it couldn't fix. Your outfit was cute though and you slipped into the stall to empty your bladder.

After a few moments you heard the telltale sounds of office gossip; a group of girls whose voices felt oddly familiar to you came in giggling about the latest news.

Apparently someone was eating lunch with one of their friends. Someone who was ‘so hot’ and ‘single’ and ‘rich’ and looked ‘so good in the blonde hairstyle.’ Your ears sharpened to the words they were saying immediately. You also lifted your feet just in case they checked under the stall for spies. You weren't born yesterday, you knew the best gossip was obtained through illicit means.

It took you no time at all to understand the subject of their gossip. You felt a strange chill run through your chest.

He was eating lunch alone with her. Was it really only one other assistant? Not a group of friends but him and her alone? She was a young pretty thing and they made such a cute couple. Apparently they had been spotted giggling together. Flirting together, as he was often seen doing with lots of girls. You hadn’t really noticed his overly friendly behavior with the girls but the memory of the lovesick smiles Sandi sent toward him today pinged against your heart. Of course he flirted with you but the idea that this might not be strictly reserved for you made your heart clench. It couldn’t be true. It had to be nothing.

The conversation drifted naturally when one girl spoke your name out. You held your breath for the quick dismissals. No way. You were too old, there’s no way he’s into an older woman. The other quiet voice that defended you, called you smart and pretty enough for someone like him, had even seen some moments between the two of you that would raise a few eyebrows, that one quiet voice was quickly drowned out by the naysayers. If anything it was one sided. If anything it was pathetic for you to even hope. If anything you should know your place.

You’d heard enough and wanted no more of it. You hoped their lunch hour was going to be over soon so you didn’t have to hear any more.

Your hopes were realized quickly enough as you quietly washed your hands and exited the bathrooms. You could not calm your mind though.

How much was true. You trusted him and you believed in him but your feet carried you in an odd direction. You walked the long way around. It would eventually take you to the elevators that led up to your floor but,

goddammit

, you found yourself making a detour with your curious eyes watching the tables near the company cafeteria.

You were looking for something that was nothing. Something that meant absolutely nothing. You knew it was nothing.

Baekhyun was walking side by side with a bright smile on his face and his attention drawn to her words.

You had seen her before, she was the assistant of one of the other managers. You were pretty sure she was under contract for only a few more months. Like him, she would soon be moving on to something new. Like him she was young and green and still had so much to learn. Perhaps they talked about how hard their jobs were; bonding over having to cater to a picky manager's whims.

She was giggling. She was laughing loudly and she reached a hand out and laid light fingertips on his forearm. That uncomfortable feeling inside of your chest throbbed.

This was nothing. You didn’t have to turn it into something when it was absolutely nothing. The gossip that you overheard had been baseless and it was wrong. Yes, you knew for a fact that they had been wrong about you. Because he was into you, he loved you. If they could be wrong about that, then they could have just as easily been wrong about this too.

You felt a need for an escape. You longed to hide from this. They were taking an exit path that would put you in front of them and you felt like a fool as you ducked behind a pillar just in time for them to walk by.

“Yeah, yeah definitely. I’ll call you,” he was saying to her.

“Okay, let me know. Bye,

Oppa

.”

Younger than him. On friendly enough terms for that sweet nickname too. And he was going to call her.

Your mind was a mess. You wandered your way through the hallways headed probably somewhere that would eventually lead you up to your office. It took longer than you intended to make it back up to your office, but still not long enough.

When you walked inside he was already seated at the spot he usually occupied when he was busy with something and didn’t want his typing to disturb you. He only kind of glanced up to look at you as you entered and his eyes were back down on the screen of his computer. He had a chat window open there. He was talking with someone.

Talking to someone about something that was probably nothing.

You were acting like a fool. This man had taken a once smart, capable, and intelligent woman and in just 3 and a half days had turned her into a fool.

You scrolled through your emails, finding a thank you message from Sophie for the quick turnaround and a waiting direct message from Chet.

You clicked on the flashing bar and the message popped up.

‘I need to speak with you, can we meet?’

You didn’t have the patience for any of it and you sighed noisily and covered your face with your hands, momentarily and genuinely forgetting that you weren’t alone in your office. Before you could take the sound back Baekhyun had walked over to your desk and had looked at the message window on your computer screen.

You stared at your computer screen, your eyes focused on that one message from Chet. You could smell him, his hair smelled like your shampoo. Baekhyun had stepped into your space and he was bent at the waist reading the message on your computer screen, the message from the man he had been butting heads with through his little message games and deprecating jokes. Out the corner of your eye you saw his hand land over your mouse, he was moving the cursor and the arrow hovered just over the X to close the window.

You lifted a hand and laid it over his just before he clicked the X to close out the window.

“I said I don’t like you meeting him.” He was staring ahead at the screen with a darkness in his eyes and his jaw was clenched down tight.

“Assistant Byun-” He physically flinched when he heard it. You felt a burning inside your stomach, “I can handle it myself.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I said I don’t like you meeting him.” He was staring ahead at the screen with a darkness in his eyes and his jaw was clenched down tight.

“Assistant Byun-” He physically flinched when he heard it. You felt a burning inside your stomach, “I can handle it myself.”

———

You could deal with Chet. He was nothing to you; insignificant and small. You didn’t need to avoid him and you definitely didn’t run away from your problems.

Instead of closing the window, your fingers flew over your keyboard typing out a quick curt response that would put an end to it for good, both the pushy unsolicited and unreciprocated behavior from that man and as for this man, the one standing behind you, having straighten his spine back up, pulled himself into a standing position and was now watching you with his arms firmly folded over his chest; perhaps this would put his mind at ease that no, you didn’t actually have any interest in meeting with Chet, and no you weren’t actually doing anything to encourage this and avoiding it would only make things worse.

You hadn’t yet looked up at him, but you could physically feel him watching you right now.

‘Please follow the appropriate channels to request a meeting and refrain from contacting me on any matters unrelated to work.’

You hit send and watched the message get delivered. After a few moments you saw the moment the message was seen by him and you watched for a few more seconds as no reply came.

Delivered and received. It was done. That should be it. Any normal human in a professional environment would accept this as the end of something. Something that was nothing.

You were staring at your computer screen, working up the nerve to look at him.

Something in your stomach had turned sour. Perhaps your lunch didn't agree with you.

Baekhyun made a sound beside you, it was a slow exhale from his nose. It pulled your eyes to him and he was standing just at the edge of your desk looking down at his thumb that ran a path along the wooden surface again and again.

You watched his eyes and he wasn’t looking at you but his mind seemed quite occupied in his own silence. His head ticked a bit and he worried his tongue inside his closed mouth, swallowing quickly before biting down on his bottom lip for a moment, his eyes still fixed on the desk.

Was he upset?

Or were you upset?

The sour feeling in your stomach surged a little and you swallowed it down. You knew that he didn't like Chet. You knew that he didn’t like you having to interact with him. Baekhyun had taken offense when you’d rebuked him, calling him out by his title and basically telling him to back-off, that you could handle your own battles. Was his problem that he didn’t trust Chet or did he honestly think you were somehow a helpless damsel? You refused to entertain the idea that somewhere in his mind lurked a worry that you would purposefully meet with Chet, or purposefully put hopes into that man’s mind.

The silence had nearly been going on for too long. You could see, if you looked very carefully, you could see a fast approaching line between when this would be a silly little memory you could look back on with him and laugh, and when this could potentially snowball into some sort of misunderstanding that could derail his faith in you, or your faith in him.

“Baekhyun—” you started speaking to him, not entirely sure where you were going, but needing some words to come out anyway.

“I’m sorry—”

“I’m sorry,” you heard his voice sound out over your own at the same time. His sudden apology halted your own words but he heard yours because his head was shaking back and forth in tiny movements as he rolled his eyes around his head and licked his lips again.

“No, I’m sorry. I was out of line.” He said it quickly and just under his breath. You hated this. You hated the uncertainty of it all. The walking on eggshells and the careful and delicate way you both had to behave as you figured out each other's personalities and limits of what was acceptable and what was not. Laying down the boundaries of this new relationship felt like an insurmountable undertaking and left you weary and exhausted just with the thought of it.

There were things he obviously didn't like. And there were things you didn’t like. Your own autonomy being questioned or worse, silenced. You weren’t hopeless. You had never once needed someone to fight your battles for you.

There were things you could work on too. Your own self esteem and accepting him for the social, friendly, sometimes overly friendly popular guy that he was. The rumors from the bathroom were fresh in your mind and you would still feel the sting of what they said about you, but you knew they had to be baseless.

This man was so open with you though. He was standing here, apologizing to you for a very human reaction of wanting to protect the one he loved.

But what about him? Couldn't you also protect him?

“Baek, I will do my best to not meet with him unless work related and unavoidable. I don't even want to, and I think I’ve made it abundantly clear to him. I understand that you don't like it and I’ll do everything in my power to respect that.”

He was looking into your face now, watching your lips as you spoke out your promises to him and at last — at last you witnessed the moment when that darkness in his eyes cleared. He blinked slowly at you and you saw the tiny pull at the corner of his lips.

“You’re so cool,” he said quietly and his lips changed into the smallest pout as he pulled his top lip in between his teeth and pushed his bottom lip out.

“How do you do that?” He said after a few moments of silence. “You’re like the fucking boyfriend whisperer.” He’d taken a step closer to you and another. This was behind the desk; this was not allowed. His body language felt too casual; almost as if he’d forgotten himself and it set off alarm bells in your head. His hand dropped and you felt his fingers land just over your shoulder, touching you lightly and there was a definite incoming motion of his face as it closed in on yours. This was bad.

You saw him leaning and you knew what this was.

Some more gullible members of your team might think he was leaning to whisper something in your ear but you knew what an incoming kiss looked like.

“Oh - nope,” you said out loud. You took immediate evasive actions; spinning around in your seat to face the opposite direction, you stood, and took two large steps away from him. You found yourself out from behind your desk, having abandoned the man back there by himself.

Another step took you to the far corner of your office and you looked up at the rows of books you kept on the shelves along that wall. Of course you were not looking for anything, you didn’t even have a plan for why you were over here but you knew that he almost just kissed you with the blinds open and an office full of people just outside of that window as potential witnesses.

“I forgot where I was,” he said softly, hanging his head down for a moment still very much behind your desk with his hands crossed behind his back.

The close call had your heart racing and you grasped through your memories for anything that could get you out of this office.

“Don’t I have a meeting somewhere?”

You knew he mentioned several things that were happening after lunch. Your attempt at a distraction was weak. Baekhyun watched you for a few moments in silence before inhaling to speak.

“It’s not for thirty minutes but we could head out right now and just…walk very slowly up the stairs if you need to get out of this fishbowl.”

“I hate the stairs.” The words were out quickly; your genuine opinion of the thought of walking up 5 flights of stairs.

“Yeah. I know. So does everybody else.” His follow-up comment was tossed carelessly and oh so casually in your direction and he was packing a bag with meeting essentials; your laptop; a few documents and final print-outs for attendees.

His cheeks had darkened a shade and you watched his face the entire time he busied himself with the bag.

You’d been seduced by this man enough times to know when you were in danger. This was at work.

This was entirely and unequivocally against the carefully explained, survivalist rules you’d set forth with him as one of the conditions of beginning this secret relationship.

“Baekhyun.” You spoke his name clearly, “That’s a bad idea.” But his shifty eyes refused to meet yours and he was making his way toward the door. Really? Nothing?

You felt it then; that thick syrupy feeling inside your chest. You had to put a hand over your chest to steady your breathing as your fought through it.

This was not allowed.

You should not, absolutely should not be in any secluded part of this building alone with this man. What was he even thinking?

“Baekhyun,” his name left your lips this time in a scandalized whisper but he had already opened your office door and he was moving quickly on his feet, through rows of cubicles, passing a few of your team members who didn’t spare him much of their attention.

You had little choice but to follow. He had all of your meeting materials and you hadn’t even paid enough attention to your schedule this morning to know what meeting it was you were headed to.

You quickened your pace to catch up with him and he was headed to the far north end of the building’s stairwell. It was the most secluded and least used one in the building. Your mind was racing as you followed his quick steps. Your heart was beating even faster at the idea of that unimaginable temptation that laid behind that door throwing you into a tizzy.

He was still faster than you were and before you could stop him he pulled the door open and disappeared behind it.

You stopped in your tracks when you saw that door close behind him.

You had already evaded one kiss today, but to purposefully put yourself into a situation? Inside your head a timer was counting. He would have stepped inside on the landing of the stairs by now. He would have his hand on the railing and his steps would be paused as he waited for the first sign of you. Would he be waiting right behind the door perhaps? Ready to pull you in for a needy and passionate kiss?

You touched the smooth metal of the handle of the door. You knew better than this.

You had also known better than beginning a romantic relationship with your own personal assistant; something that was so much against company policy that there were entire paragraphs written about the ramifications and legal consequences of an inappropriate relationship between direct supervisor and their subordinate in the employee handbook that you had signed years ago. You’d known better than to allow your heart to grow so soft and weak to him that you’d thrown out every bit of common sense you had in your head for the chance to love him and to be loved by him.

You pulled on the door and you stepped inside, all the while knowing better than this.

Inside the stairwell was quiet, save for the sound of footsteps up ahead. You heard his breathing but you did not immediately see Baekhyun anywhere in this level.

What?

Where was the man who had lured you in here with the promise of a clandestine meeting and the chance to finally be alone with him; something the entire day had not afforded you.

You caught motion in the flight above you and a blonde head of hair leaned over the railing, popping into your sight when you looked up.

“Come on, slow poke. I haven’t gotten a chance to go to the gym in days — my body feels too stiff.”

You looked straight up into his face and he wore a mischievous look there. It took you a few moments honestly. This wasn’t what you expected when you caved to temptation and opened that door. There was a slight sting to this. It made you shake your head and it made you exhale a breath through your nose, biting down hard on your lip to keep from making any snide remarks in his general direction.

He had a grin and he watched as you put your first foot on the first step of this set of stairs.

You could not help the small frown that appeared on your lips. Had you just been tricked into after lunch exercise? You hated the stairs. He didn’t have to take them in heels, he would never understand the feeling of a tight pencil skirt pulling at his thighs as he tried and failed to take more than one stair a time.

You felt downright bamboozled. Each step made you more and more irritated that he would do this to you.

Baekhyun was full of energy though. He’d noisily rushed to the top of his staircase and you could hear the sound of his stomping footsteps making their way back down now. It felt like he was showing off. In your mind, you could visualize the smug smile he would have on his face. Each new step only served to fuel your annoyance. You pushed your legs up each step one by one and you even had to pull your skirt up two or three inches so you could comfortably manage the stairs without the restriction of the tight clothing.

Just as quickly as you heard the footsteps retreating you heard the sounds of them changing direction. Was he doing laps? Why couldn't he just abandon you back here in your heels and your skirt and your grump? You saw him coming back down now. He had a smile on his face and he dipped his head to catch your eyes as he made his way down, closing the huge lead he had on you on this stupid journey up the stairs.

“

Noona

,” he said when he’d reached your side. You felt his shoulder bump against your own and you pulled away from him. You could do the stairs on your own, thank you very much. You didn’t even want to be doing the stairs, but now that you were nearly halfway through you could feel your limbs and muscles loosening up. You did not respond to him.

“You had a face on when you came in here.” Baekhyun had stomped his way back down the stairs and was smiling now right beside you in your section of stairs. “Why?” He should have just gone back up to his own stairs.

“I had no face on,” you defended, but you knew he was probably right. You’d come in here fully expecting a romantic escapade, not a step aerobics class. He had tricked you, the cheater.

He nodded his head up and down in big dramatic movements. He was teasing you. You had fallen for his trick so easily and he knew it. Your annoyance was quietly turning into something else.

“You had a face like you were expecting something to happen in here.”

You’d made it up three flights when you had enough with the heels. You slipped them both off at the bottom of the next flight of stairs and carried one in each hand.

“I was not,” you argued. It was a feeble attempt at a lie. He was right and he knew it.

“You were,” he countered, doing an impression of your whining rebuttal. “Did you think I was going to pounce on you?” He had stopped his upward progression when you did and you turned to look into his face, no doubt making a new face now. One full of adamant denial, and perhaps you had a little bit of a pout on your lips as he openly teased you.

You did not respond with words. You did not immediately respond with a denial either and instead you turned your head to look away from the teasing look in his eyes. He must have had a gift for seeing right through you.

You lifted a foot for another step. You would be the adult today and walk away from him. Your upward step was halted though when you felt his hand wrap around your wrist and you were physically moved and you gasped out in quiet surprise to find yourself with you back against the cold cement wall of this stairwell and the warmth and length of Baekhyun’s body was suddenly and unexpectedly pressed firmly against your own. His hand that had gripped your wrist held on tight, pinning your arm down at your side.

Perhaps it was because annoyance had taken over you. You had already given up on anything like this happening in here so the feeling of him pushing against you came at such an unexpected shock that you gasped out loud, leaving your lips to hang open. His grip around your wrist was so tight you couldn't even rotate your hand from the uncomfortable way it was pinned beside you. There was a flash of warmth that surged inside of you with the gasp.

“Did you expect something like this?” His voice was a closed-in whisper. Hot and forbidden breaths fanned over your parted lips and his eyes looked into your own with just as much of that same teasing mischief deep inside the black centers of his pupils as you had seen earlier on the stairs.

“Did you follow me in here because you want me to do this to you?”

You closed your eyes. The sight of his face up close like this was too much and having his warmth and the smell of him here like this was making your already weak heart leap around inside of your chest. You wiggled your hand, trying to get him to loosen the grip he held you with. But he was everywhere already. It was useless to resist with there being so very much of him and was so little air left in your lungs to form words against him.

He was too much today. He had been misbehaving all day long and you felt so weak to every little thing he did. Never before in your entire life had you met such an opponent. You should have known you had lost long before you had even started the battle.

He wasn’t saying anything else and he hadn’t moved from the close proximity but you could feel the steady breathing from his chest against yours and the warmth of his body felt incredible given the stark contrast of the cool wall at your back.

You had to look at him. As dangerous as a game this was, you opened your eyes like he was a compulsion that you were helpless against.

He was watching your face up close and when you opened your eyes he looked at you with half lidded blinks. Something about the look in his eyes had shifted.

“Tell me we are at work.” He whispered after a swift tongue darted out to moisten his lips. “Tell me I shouldn’t kiss you. Tell me to stop.”

Gone was the teasing, this was a different look now. You could see it in his eyes; this was desire. He was quickly being overcome by it. When before had clearly just been a game, now you could feel the trouble he was in. It pressed up against your abdomen; stiff and needy. He pushed his hips up into you.

He’d fallen into his own trap. You’d been gnashing your teeth and gnawing at your own leg for hours trying to break free from it and the man had willingly put his own foot inside and now he had the audacity to be shocked when the metal teeth clamped down on him.

“You know exactly where we are, Baekhyun and you don't seem to be listening to me today anyway.” You still tasted hints of that earlier annoyance with his behavior on the back of your tongue and still you felt so weak to him.

You felt his hand move. He’d let go of your wrist now and you felt the warmth of his fingertips followed by a hot palm that moved upward along your hip, reaching the space below your breast with the smallest of pauses before his hand traveled over your bra, squeezing over the softness of your breast.

He leaned into you and his lips parted over the skin of your neck. You felt soft kisses against your skin and heard a moan of complaint from inside of him.

“It is fucking unfair how good you smell,” he groaned into you.

He moved up higher and you heard the inhale of breath beside your ear and his lips opened up as he pulled your earlobe inside his mouth and sucked, touching lightly with the tip of his tongue on the small earring you wore there.

He was a menace. An explosion of goosebumps traveled up over the crown of your scalp down the center of your spine and a small whimper left your own mouth.

“I’m sorry — I’m sorry,” he was whispering against your skin between the tiny kisses as he followed down the length of your neck. “I know I’m being bad.”

His wandering fingertips had already popped two buttons on your blouse, a peek of his thirsty eyes feasted over the exposed view of the red bra and the contrasting skin of your breasts. You felt his mouth lower, kissing the softness of your flesh, squeezing with his hands and feasting at the red marks his rough mouth left behind with desperately wild eyes. He took the breath you hadn’t yet had a chance to catch.

You felt consumed by it. You should have spoken up sooner, before you had let him change your mind, while you still had the will to fight it, that’s when you should have stopped this. Before you let it get this far.

But now — but now — Byun Baekhyun so casually set out the kindling; he had so callously pulled open that box of matches; he had so carelessly ran the red tip of that matchstick against the side of the box seeking out the friction to ignite you entirely.

How much of his childish teasing before this transpired had been to blame for your guard being down?

You felt as if you were rapidly approaching an impasse. There was an incredibly fast approaching point of no return. This was not something that could happen here. This fact was so deeply ingrained inside of your mind that no amount of lust or desire coursing through your body right now could stop the nagging you still heard ringing its alarm bells out, begging you to come to your senses and see reason.

What if someone walked into this stairwell. This was a building that was full of several hundreds of employees from all departments; how secluded really was this place? There wasn’t even a lock on any of the doors. You have been working here for years without any incidents that even shed a shadow on your character but this man; this tempting, terribly beautiful, stubbornly sexy man; surely this man and your weakness to everything about him would be your undoing.

You hadn’t given them any hints of the reality of your relationship with your assistant. And already the rumors that you heard had painted you in such a bad light. The mere idea of you and him had them calling you things like pathetic to even dream of pursuing someone clearly so far out of your league. Someone younger and someone richer and someone who was so very obviously too good for you. You knew the truth and still you had your moments when you had a hard time wrapping your head around the intense affection and attraction you felt for each other.

What would they say if someone caught wind of the events taking place right now in here, in the middle of a workday while both of you were on the clock and there was absolutely nothing to stop someone from walking into this stairwell and catching you. This was not a far fetched worry of yours, this was a very real possibility right now.

This should not be happening.

You’d be tarred and feathered. You’d be terminated and you’d never work again in this industry. Your name would be blacklisted. You would never recover any of the years wasted.

You’d be a pariah.

He would — he would be transferred to another department. And as he wandered through their hallways they would shake their heads in disbelief. Clicking their tongues while saying oh it was such a shame that someone with such power and such influence over him clearly took such advantage of him — the poor thing.

It felt like a bucket of ice water splashed over your head. Your heavy breathing, which had been solely attributed to the warmth of his body pressed against yours and his wandering hands which had moved down the curves of your hips; you felt the slow tug of his fingertips as he moved the fabric of your skirt up higher on your thighs; your breaths quickened and you gasped to catch your breath feeling the upward motion of your skirt; only instead of arousal your quick gasps for air felt more like a quiet panic was rising up inside of your chest.

The panic moved your hands. You placed a careful palm over his chest. His heartbeat raced inside of him.

“Baekhyun,” you called his name. From his lungs came a warm puff of air that warmed your skin. “Baekhyun.” You said it again, this time with a clearer and more firm voice. Your hand on his chest gave the smallest push against him.

“Baekhyun, we can’t. Not here.” His lungs pulled in hard and you felt the release of his hands on your skirt.

He had heard you. He was still pressed against you but he’d removed his face from your neck and he had removed his hands from your hips. His eyes were closed up tightly as every bit of that unbridled desperation rolled from over his body from the top of his head down to the tip of his toes and you watched the change happen on his face from up close. He licked his lips and his throat moved as he swallowed. His eyebrows furrowed together, bunching up to form a severe wrinkle on his forehead and he inhaled a very shaky breath that went down deep.

He took the smallest step back from you and then another bigger step took his heat away from you.

Your hands moved quickly to button up your blouse and you pulled your skirt back down to cover your thighs where it belonged at all times while you were in this office building.

Baekhyun had placed his hands over his face and he was working through it. The still very strong arousal; the disappointment of the denial. The sudden realization that surged through him that you had put a stop to this.

He bent at the waist with his hands on his hips and his face screwed up into a wince and his head was shaking back and forth.

“I wish you would have said something sooner,” he said under his heavy breaths; the discomfort and disappointment he was feeling was quite evident in his words and his body language. “Shit. Sorry.” His wince deepened to hear those words and whatever the accusatory meaning attached to them come out of his own mouth. With his hands off of you now, with the temptation of his body no longer pressed up against you, you could feel your mind beginning to clear.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean it like that,” he said again, even quieter. “That’s not your fault. I’m just….I am going to need a minute.”

He had turned around to face the other way. You had slipped your feet back into your shoes and you could feel the moment of temptation passing with each minute.

After a moment he turned back to face you, his cheeks pink and his eyes cast downward toward your feet. His breathing was still quite hard and you knew this had simply gone too far. He was right. You should have stopped it long before you did. You should have not let this happen the way it had. Baekhyun moved then and he sat down on the stairs and pulled the bag he had dropped at his feet onto his lap and he groaned quietly with his head leaning into his hands.

“You can head up to the 11th floor. I need to sit here and try not to think about you for a while. I’m sorry, I think I need to keep the bag.”

With your mind clear your senses picked up on a sound, something that came from below where you stood leaning against this wall on the landing of those stairs and where he sat with his head in his hands and that bag set oh so carefully over his lap.

There was a squeak. It was barely audible but it was there. The sound of a door being opened from somewhere below you. Your heart beat frantically in your throat and echoed noisily in your ears.

“Assistant Byun, did you bring the meeting printouts? Can I take a look at them real quick before we head up?”

The man wasn’t moving fast enough. You reached down and unzipped the bag, sticking a blind hand inside and feeling for a stack of papers. Baekhyun lifted his head from his hands with a small sound of confusion in his voice. You gripped the stack of papers and pulled them out; holding them up to your face and you ran your eyes frantically over the page as if you were searching the documents for the meaning of life in the universe and the very quiet footsteps that sounded out below you eventually echoed out loud enough for his face to lose its color and his eyes flew open wide in some mixture of shock and instant understanding.

He stood up suddenly, that bag still secured very much in front of him at the waist and his eyes were cast carefully down at your feet with his pupils moving quickly back and forth.

“And you included all of the talking points we discussed?”

“Yes ma’am, in the last section.” He said with his face facing down on the ground. You noticed he looked so much paler than he had looked before. No doubt a wave of deep panic had surged through him at the realization.

After a few more footsteps the view of someone, a man, wearing a crisp suit came into your peripheral view and you turned a curious face in his direction with a pleasant smile on your lips. You recognized him as one of the other managers who would be present at today’s

Idea Sesh

with the rest of upper management. This was one of the extremely important people in this company involved with advertising and he had so much pull you were certain that had you not stopped what you stopped from happening earlier, you would have soon found your own head on the chopping block just as you had feared.

“And here I thought I was the only one that used this stairwell,” the older man said with a wide smile. “but you are working harder than anyone else, as always.”

You smiled wider and gave a politely dismissive response.

“Can't wait to hear your ideas today,” He said as he stepped in between you and your assistant and made his way up the stairwell, his pace not faltering once. You held your breath the entire time you watched his retreating back.

When all traces of his footsteps were gone you slowly exhaled the breath you had been holding. You slowly relaxed and unclenched every single muscle in your body that had been seized up tight. When you relaxed your hold on the stack of papers the sheets rattled noisily in your hands as they trembled.

The man beside you had his face still angled downward and you saw the slow exhale of air from his lungs that he let out through pursed lips. On his face you saw an anguished look manifesting on his pretty features.

Inside of you, your emotions surged up hot. You felt vindicated and validated for every single anxious worry you’d ever considered; ever been plagued by; ever been kept up at night dreading.

“

Noona

,” he whispered through his parted lips. He was still looking down at the floor. “

Noona

, I was wrong. I am so sorry.” He was whispering and he lifted a hand to lay over his chest. You’d noticed he had dropped the bag lower now as he held it by the handles only.

He was speaking to you but his eyes refused to lift higher than waist level. This view of him grabbed your stomach and twisted it into knots. The man was worth so much. Not just in money but to you; he was so amazingly beautiful and precious in every single way and he was standing here with his head hung down in shame because of what? Because you didn’t know your place? You didn’t take the very important job you had seriously to nurture him professionally and to care for him in the way you were meant to?

“It wasn’t just you. I came in here willingly.” You were speaking quietly and calmly but even you could hear something off in your voice. This close call had been too much. Not even a whole week into the relationship and already — already.

“I played just as much a part in this.” Your own voice sounded too steady and too even. At last, at last his eyes looked up into yours. They were big and brown and they looked into your face with an expression that was full of worry.

You felt sick. Saliva pooled in your mouth and you inhaled deeply and slowly in an attempt to steady yourself, to force your mind to relax, to try and will your insides to settle down from the very real and very scary upset. You had known better than this. You had always known better.

“Actually, more than anything you have done, I’m the one going against the rules. I’m your superior. I’m the one who did wrong. I am the one who is still doing wrong, Baekhyun. I am doing something wrong — to you.”

“

Noona

, stop talking.” He squeezed his eyes closed momentarily and when he opened them you could see that his lids were fluttering as he tried to rein in the emotions you saw all over his face. “Stop talking like that. Please. Stop.” He was breathing harder but you knew — you knew that you were only speaking the truth.

“These rules exist for a reason, Baekhyun, and I have broken them. I’m at fault, not you and I think — I think—”

“All of that is wrong. I don't believe any of that — at all.” He shook his head back and forth and his eyes looked into yours with a desperate plea somewhere in their depths. “Don't say any more, hmm?” he begged.
His eyebrows lifting up over his eyes with the tiny questioning hum.

A soft beep sounded out from somewhere inside his pocket. You both knew what it meant. It was time to leave.

It was time for the meeting, you still had three more flights of stairs to climb. You did not have time to be standing around here wiping the one stray tear you felt fall down your cheek and coming to terms with what a terrible, selfish, disgusting person you might be deep down inside.

“We have to go. I have to go,” you said and you turned away from him, taking the stairs two at a time despite the strain on your skirt and the ache in your feet from the heels. You moved quickly and behind you, you could hear his footsteps closing in behind you.

“

Noona

,” he was calling but you were moving. “

Goddammit

— please, just stop.” You heard him say. The desperation in his voice pulled hard at your heart, making its rapid beating rhythm pause — making you pause your steady progress away from him and out of this fucking stairwell and it was just enough. It was just enough for the reach of his hand to grab ahold of yours. You were on the 11th floor. Your hand wrapped around the smooth slick handle of the doorway that would put you out there in that hallway where several dozens of extremely important people would be waiting, mingling, laughing, and schmoozing.

“

Baby

, please.” He was calling out behind you. His grip on your hand was so tight; it rivaled the grip he had on your heart. “Tell me what you are thinking. You’re scaring me. I can't do this. I can’t — ”

You couldn't look into his face anymore. You no longer knew what was wrong or what was right and you had no idea what you could do about it either. But you knew that you needed some time just to think. You needed to sit in the silence and the peace of your own mind for hours until you came up with some sort of a solution to this. But what you knew was that you did not have that right now. You did not have that inside this stairwell with his desperate pleas holding you back.

You inhaled a steadying breath for it. You turned to him and you pulled a small smile upon your face that never even came close to reaching your eyes and wouldn't have fooled him for even a second even in pitch blackness.

You pushed through the impossible ache inside of your chest to get the words out.

“We can talk later,” you said in a whisper. “I promise, we can talk later.”

[To Be Continued]

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You had taken your usual seat opposite the familiar faces of this elite management team at the big round table. At the head of the table, in his usual spot was President Byun who smiled a friendly greeting when you walked in and did your best to return it.

That smile that you forced, right in the face of the President of this company whose rules you’d trampled on, right in the face of the loving father of the man you’d shamelessly fallen in love with; that smile felt about as dirty as anything you’d ever done.

Ever done to someone as unsuspecting and undeserving as President Byun — someone who’d only ever shown you respect, faith, and genuine encouragement as you fought your way to get to the position you were now.

You’d always considered yourself different. You’d always held yourself to a high standard of cleanliness and perfection at work; that you were somehow not the same as some of the others who’s rumored shameful stories had been whispered from lips to ears in the secluded hallways and secret corners where the gossip brought out the worst in people — both the subjects and the sharers.

But now —

You looked across the table at the eager smile of Manager Hwang with the uniform, unnaturally colored Hollywood teeth that filled his mouth and took away whatever was left of his humanity. He wagged two sculpted eyebrows at you and that smile widened when his eyes did. You’d heard he’d often use his influence and power on some of the fresher interns that came in. You’d always avoided the man not only due to the reputation; but you didn't like the way he looked at you. And still you’d always thought you were somehow better than him, deep down inside you always felt it before.

But now — were you just the same? Did he get away with it all because he preyed on the weak ones; the ones without power and without influence? Unlike you who’d set your sights high on the Prince of this very kingdom?

Your meeting was starting, you could see the chairs beginning to fill up and the clock on the wall told you there was only three minutes until it began.

You’d kept your eyes on the doorway, desperate for and also dreading to see that familiar head of hair. You’d realized too long after you’d left that stairwell that you didn’t have any of your meeting materials with you, having left them behind with the desperate pleas of the man you ran away from.

There was a minute left. Throats were being cleared. The rustling of papers was settling and chairs shifted as they were pulled up to the table. Your mind was beginning to enter into some very slight panic the closer you came to having to begin this meeting without any of your supplies in hand.

“Miss Manager?” An unfamiliar voice called out beside you and you turned toward the sound. You knew her face. This was the assistant friend that Baekhyun had shared a meal with alone. Her smile was sweet and her face was pretty. The rumors that they looked good together were spot on. You could see it too, as much as you wish you couldn’t.

“Assistant Byun had to step away, but he asked me to give this to you. I think he is not feeling well.”

You didn’t blame him for running away. You’d done it to him too.

You raised your eyebrows in question, feeling entirely too drained for much more than that.

“I’m Assistant Cha,” she lifted a hand to lay over her chest, “or just Sunny. It’s lovely to meet you, by the way, I’ve heard so many good things.” Her voice had a soft ring to it. Her compliment felt genuine and you heard notes of sunshine and rainbows that danced on the cadence of her voice. Your nose caught a light fragrance of something fruity when she dipped her head. She looked so pretty and she even smelled pretty. You smiled robotically from underneath your own little stormcloud, thanking her for the bag.

Where did he go? The worry for him overshadowed that gratitude that you felt that he’d somehow still managed to consider your well-being despite the turmoil that he must be feeling right now. The echoes of his desperation played again inside your memory; the way he held on to your hand as he begged you for clarity. Of course he would be upset. You’d left him back there without any answers at all. You didn't even have any answers for yourself.

Everything you needed for this meeting was inside this bag. You could get through it now; thanks to Baekhyun. You could put aside the upset inside of your chest for an hour and go through these motions. This you could manage. You didn't have any solutions for anything else, but this you could do.

They called this an

Idea Sesh.

A silly trendy name for a round table discussion in which each person presented their fresh new ideas that would revolutionize the world. By

world

they meant the company and by

revolutionize

they meant add a few zeros to the profit margin.

Your mind grasped on feebly to every other word. It wasn’t your finest hour. You closed your eyes and inhaled a trembling breath and you hoped nobody needed you to be inspiring or amazing today because you just did not have it. They all spoke animatedly when it was their turn, bouncing thoughts and replies off each other. You sat in your seat ruminating in your mind without the benefit of any other perspectives to help you out.

Should you ignore it and pray for the problem to just go away on its own? You hadn’t been caught yet, you could just continue on as you had been doing, walking on a tightrope extended between two skyscrapers bracing for the next swift wind to send you careening to your death. You had already found out that the man had next to no self control when it came to you and you…you were just so very weak to him in every way. Clearly this wasn’t working. It was only a matter of time.

If the close proximity was the problem; if the two of you were working side by side every single day in a closed space with all of the lust and desire and temptation that came along with the closeness, what were your options?

Should you just resign? Just turn and run away? Wouldn't that be the most thorough solution? Definitely not a financially sound decision to make. You didn't even have anything else lined up. You’d lose everything you had built. It would all have been for nothing.

Should you fire him? On what grounds? Legally, someone had to have done something wrong to be terminated. There was a procedure for that. There had to be evidence and well, Baekhyun hadn’t done a single thing that you could write in that line on the

FD0651 - Termination of Employment

form. Lord knows you've done plenty. Could you fire yourself?

You heard your name and it nagged and bothered you; like a fly buzzing around your head.

Should you end it with him? Should you give him up and tell him it was over? You would have to lie and tell him that you just didn't love him anymore; or maybe you never really did. You’d had your fun and you got your fill and now it would be best if you both went your separate ways. Would he even believe you? Would you even survive that? Just the thought of that made your chest constrict. The idea of that grabbed ahold of your throat and squeezed down hard enough to break.

All of these sounded bad.

A gentle hand placed on your forearm brought you into the present and you were up. You were caught by your own inaction and you looked around at the curious eyes that watched you with passive smiles on their faces. You replied quickly with an apologetic smile and you did your best to clear out the acrid taste in the back of your throat at the idea of letting go of the sweetest love you had ever known.

You had to blink a few times for your eyes to focus on the words printed on the papers in your hands. As you began reading, you recognized the very particular pattern of phrasing that Baekhyun used in his writing.

You recalled working on this with him at your home. You were speaking out loud and he was typing on your laptop as you both sat on your loveseat. There were several ideas listed here and you remembered you hadn’t gotten through all of them in a single setting as you had both foolishly been otherwise occupied. As you read on, between the third and fourth point; your mind flashed hot with the memory of you straddling his waist; his fingertips digging in hard enough to leave marks as he slipped inside.

The man was so impossibly intertwined with everything that even reading from this paper had your mind struggling to extract him. It was no wonder you couldn't keep your head on straight around him. The sex had been part of the work. You’d been a damn fool to mix the two.

You made it through your part but just barely, hearing the quiet uncertainty in your own voice for the first time in years had you hanging your head in disbelief that you could sink this low.

You spent the rest of the time avoiding the curious eyes of a few half-interested managers, who eventually gave up and likely attributed your odd behavior to just an off-day.

The meeting was adjourned. It was over. Nobody sought you out for a friendly chat. Your performance did not come anywhere close to meeting your own standards and you received no reasons from anyone else to linger behind.

Your phone was empty of any notifications of any new messages that might tell you where he had gone.

Your feet carried you down the long hallway of the 11th floor to the north end and you cautiously pulled the doorway open to that stairwell; your silly heart wondering if you might still find him inside in the exact same place that you had left him.

But it was empty, of course.

You took the stairs down and even with such careful deliberately slow steps you still found yourself at your floor too quickly. You didn’t feel ready to be here. You still had no messages or missed calls waiting on your phone. Where had he gone?

Still, your feet carried you back.

When you entered your team’s section they paid you very little attention. If they noticed it was odd that you traveled alone, they gave no signs of it.

It took you two steps toward your office for you to realize that your blinds, which had been open all day long, were all closed. Your door which had also been left open much of the day was shut and that room that sat at the end of your journey had been closed up tight like a tomb.

A whirlwind began to blow inside of the hollow your chest and your legs had stopped moving forward.

The bag you carried felt suddenly too heavy and you let it sag and rest lightly against the floor. The air that you pulled into your lungs so carelessly now felt too heavy and sticky to come back out but you forced it. A rough exhaled breath clamored and clawed and clung to the edges of your lungs; fighting the entire way out and you closed your eyes until every single bit of it was gone from your body and you felt lightheaded from all of the effort.

You tightened your grip around the handle of that bag and you heaved with all of your might, lifting it back up to your waist level; pushing your stubborn feet into that next step and you inhaled another sickening breath inside of your lungs, forcing yourself through this so you could get to that door.

You would find him inside. That place; your place, was his only refuge.

Just outside of your door, you caught the eyes of Sandi and lifted a hand to point with your quiet question. “Is Assistant Byun inside?”

She nodded her head, holding her tongue and stifling whatever curiosity she had in her eyes.

“Sandi, I will be in a meeting. No disruptions, please.”

“Yes ma’am,” she called out and you tried your office door knob, finding that it was unlocked.

A beam of light flooded into the dark room when you entered. Just as quickly as you came in, you closed the door behind you. It was so dark inside that there would have been no way to conceal your arrival even if you were trying to go unnoticed.

The window shades were pulled down and the room was as dark as one could make it in the middle of the afternoon during office hours in a building that was very much not asleep.

You knew he was in here but your eyes had not adjusted in time before you heard a small sound.

The sound of a shaking human breath pulled in deep. The sound of that breath being held.

“Baekhyun?” You whispered.

Your eyes were adjusting and you could make out the shape of him seated with his head down in his hands on the couch that sat in the middle of your office. You caught some motion. You heard the sibilance of the fabric of his suit when he pushed himself to stand up on two shaky legs.

You reached a hand out for the light in the wall and lightly grazed over the smooth plastic switch with your fingertips; somehow hesitant to press hard enough to turn them on the more your eyes began to take in with the limited light that seeped through the cracks in the blinds. His hands moved to push something white into his pocket and there was the sound of something terrible in his voice as he cleared his throat, opened his mouth and forced out a single word.

“

Noona

,” he said through a stuffed up nose and a thick upset obvious in his voice.

He inhaled a raspy breath to speak again. It might have sounded like exhaustion, but you knew he had been crying. The sound of it pulled against your esophagus as your stomach dipped hard.

“I’m — sorry I missed the meeting. Did it — go okay?”

His words stuttered on their way out. He was forcing himself to speak through it. How long had he been this upset for? And all alone too. Your arms itched to reach for him; your hands begged for the warmth of his back. Regret surged inside of you; hot and vile. Your words in the stairwell, the hasty retreat from him as he begged you to stay and talk to him. You knew he was a sensitive and sweet man; it was part of why you loved him so completely. You should have tempered yourself. You should have tried harder to control the situation so he didn’t have to be feeling this pain right now.

“No,” you answered his question with quiet honesty.

Baekhyun cleared his throat again. “Oh,” he said; offering no follow up except for his quiet breathing.

“Can I turn on the light?”

“Okay,” he said after a long pause.

You flipped the switch; flooding the room with harsh fluorescent lighting that he squinted through even though it looked like he had his eyes closed when you turned them on.

He looked about as upset as you had felt inside for the past hour. Maybe you were better at hiding it but you could also feel what he was feeling. The close call in the stairs; the rash emotions that surged through your body; the self blaming and self hatred that made you feel sick. His nose, lips, eyes, cheeks were all pink and he slowly inhaled deep and licked his lips before you saw the signs that he was going to say something.

“

Noona

,” he began, his flighty eyes shifted around the floor space never once looking up into your waiting face. “

Noona,

what can I do — how can I fix this?”

He had been blaming himself, of course. You swallowed and closed your eyes. There was a tremble behind your eyelids that seemed to keep you from being able to close them comfortably. Behind your eyeballs and all around your brain felt like a jumble of static. You shook your head back and forth. This wasn’t his doing.

“You didn’t break anything, Baekhyun.”

His eyes closed up tightly and he tilted his head back; inhaling slow and deeply as he moved his jaw back and forth, clearly taking some exception to your response.

“But I — I made you go in there. I’m the one who can’t control myself, I’m the spoiled fucking brat —” He had been in here blaming himself for everything. A misplaced martyr without an audience to entertain his false beliefs or to set him straight.

“No. You aren’t,” you openly and quickly disagreed with him, purposefully lowering your voice in hopes that he would understand that while the closed door and closed blinds gave the illusion that you were both free to speak, this office wasn’t actually that soundproof.

You dropped it even lower still; almost to a whisper; taking two steps closer to where he stood in front of the couch. “You and I — we both played an equal part. We both stupidly gave in, we always give in to each other too easily, Baek. It’s obvious that something needs to change.”

He had his eyes down on your lips as you spoke and his tongue darted out before he spoke again, much quieter this time, having realized what you had also known; that this was not the kind of conversation that the rest of the office needed to witness.

When he spoke again, his words sounded desperate; more of the same pleading tone that haunted you all through your memories of that stairwell. He was looking at you now, at last. His desperation had pulled the deep brown of his eyes well into your own and the burden of those eyes pleaded and begged against yours. You felt choked by it.

“Tell me what to do. Tell me what I can do so you don’t say what I’m terrified you are going to say.”

You knew what he was afraid of. You’d actually considered it for a moment. It sounded horrible. You weren't a cruel woman. You loved him so much that this; that him being so upset at the mere thought of a break-up, was nearly unbearable for you to take. So you were quick to set him right. You had to be quick to stop this look on his face.

“I’m not going to do that. I don't want to do that.” You shook your head and closed your eyes, trying to rid yourself of the feeling that surged through you when you thought of losing him forever. You couldn't maintain eye contact. He was watching your face so closely as you spoke of these terrible things.

You heard him inhale a deep chest filling breath and on the exhale you heard the first real bits of a change in him. It was the sound of relief. It coated you in warmth to hear. This is what had upset him; the possibility of losing you. Just as you had balked at the idea of losing him. This was the sound of his fears abated.

“I did consider it for a moment, that we should b-break—u-up” you felt your own voice crack through the burden of having to say it outloud with your own mouth. The last word didn’t even come out with any sound.

“You can’t even say it,” he said in a quiet response. In his voice was a new sound that pushed his words out. You could hear the hope on his tongue, taking all of those bad feelings in him and pushing them away like he was just waking up from a dream.

“I can't even think of it. It makes me sick,” you inhaled to speak under your breath and you felt the lightest touch of his soft fingertips graze over the back of your hand that hung at your side.

You pulled your hand away, desperately needing this man not to touch any part of you right now so you could get through the rest of this conversation and accomplish something that brought you closer to a resolution. You knew very well that the problem was far from solved. If things stayed as they were, you’d both find yourself in trouble again and again.

“But,” you said.

He inhaled a sharp breath through his nose when you flinched away from him.

“But?” The alarm was back on his voice with this one word.

“We can't keep this up. Baekhyun something has to change, we cannot do this anymore.” You said it with conviction. It was still somewhat flimsy but you’d already made up your mind and there was no going back now. You were simply out of any other options.

His body mirrored your flinch when your strong declaration was out.

“Wait, what is

this

? I thought you said you weren’t going to — we aren’t breaking up, right? I won't accept it.” His voice had lifted in volume and he took on a confrontational tone. It was too loud and you lifted a hand in front of his face, motioning a palm downward with your eyes wide.

He dropped his words to a whisper, “please don't take yourself out of of my life.”

“I mean this here. In this office. Side by side. Just me and you. Working together. I don't think we can work together anymore, Baekhyun.”

It took a long while of him watching your face for the realization of what you meant to sink in. And when it sank, it made a splash. He was whirling in place as your words worked through his whole body. Agitation rolled over his shoulders and down his spine and his feet steadied his balance through the change to keep him upright. Baekhyun understood now.

“Are you firing me?” He pulled his arms up across his chest, and he took a step back and away from you. His eyes had hardened and narrowed as he absorbed your meaning. His brows furrowed and his body tensed all over.

This was hard. You felt your own body react and lifted a hand, needing to somehow defend your words and what you actually meant by them.

“I can’t fire you,” you said, “not officially. It’s not like I can write

‘I fell in love and, whoops, I just can’t seem to keep my clothes on around him’

as your official reason for termination.”

He was watching your face closely again and slowly and little by little you watched as the tension in his body lessened. His shoulders relaxed and his arms sagged.

“But—” you inhaled another breath, biting down on your bottom lip as you emphasized the words you were saying. “But, we have got to separate the work from the — sex,” the last word came out in a scandalized and nearly inaudible whisper.

“Do you know what popped into my mind during the meeting today? As I was reading off ideas… between points three and four—” you lifted an eyebrow and your mouth hung open as a flush filled the surface layer of your skin, “when we were writing it…between three and four…”

Baekhyun lifted a hand to his face, lightly touching over his parted lips with his fingers.

“Oh,” he mumbled from under the fingertips. His glassy eyes had a little tremble in them.

“Yeah,” you said through gritted teeth and a pointed look in your eyes.

“Shit,” he said as he bit down on his bottom lip and turned his face away from you.

“Yeah,” you agreed.

You looked at him and he looked at you and you both stood like a pair of statues glued to the floor of this office. Even though you had technically never had sex in this here, the sex itself had been so very intertwined with the work, it felt impossible to ever truly separate the effects he had on you from any of the work you produced together.

You were right about this.

And he knew it. His next words seemed a lot like acceptance.

“So I’m getting axed for sleeping with the boss. Isn’t it supposed to go the other way? Shouldn’t I be moving up, not being kicked out?”

“You can move up. I’ll find you something better than an assistant.” You shrugged. You meant it. You’d already thrown out all of your professional ethics when you started sleeping with your assistant. You weren’t about to start following the rules now that you had to find some new place to send him. You’d send him someplace grand. Someplace with a little bit of respect that came with a title perhaps. Just the idea had a small smile forming on your lips.

Baekhyun wasn’t waiting for you to decide now, instead he was moving through the room; reaching for the bag you’d left by the door when you came in here. He lifted it to the small table he usually occupied in the corner of your office and was digging through it for something.

You watched curiously as he smiled at last and pulled out a single sheet of paper and closed in on you with a bright smile on his pretty face.

Your curiosity pulled your eyes down to the sheet he had just placed inside your waiting hand and on that page was a resume.

You saw in the upper corner the pretty smiling face of Sunny, his friend, Assistant Cha who had delivered the bag for him when he was unable to. As you read through it, his fingertip pointed to the picture of the girl in the top corner.

“She is good. She’s smart. She’s very quick and insightful. She’s talented and her current assignment is expiring in one week. She’s not being renewed which means she is available.”

You tried to ignore the tiny sting you felt hearing the man list off so very many compliments as you read through her resume. She was indeed younger than him without nearly as many internships or accolades as Baekhyun’s resume had boasted. But he had indeed been an unusual case.

“Should I?” You had to admit, you had grown to trust Baekhyun’s judgment after working with him for months and he wasn’t one to build someone up without facts and personal experiences to back it up.

“Also she’s not a man.” He said with a little tilt of his head and a teasing smile building on his face. It caught you off guard and you shot him an incredulous look.

Did he just…?

Your eyes narrowed in response and you dropped focus on the resume with a genuine scoff.

“—the hell do you mean by that?”

He tilted his head again, this time in the opposite direction and his teasing smile widened.

“You have a history,

Noona

.” He extended his hands outward, obviously referring to himself standing right in front of you as irrefutable evidence to make his point. He was shaking his head back and forth with his lips pulled tightly — oh, the shame of it.

You knew he was only joking but it still irked you, clearly this was its intended effect. You reached out and swatted him as roughly as you could with the flimsy paper and he giggled lightly and backed out of the way, evading the smack easily.

“Excuse me? You kissed me first. If anyone here has a history—”

You had rounded your desk and pulled out your chair, glancing through your computer for the company directory, scrolling by the names of several people, some that owed you a favor or two, that might be looking for a talented individual. “We should definitely avoid placing you with any ladies. Especially older ones. Let’s check for openings. How would you like to go into advertising? You can work with Ben.”

As you scrolled, Baekhyun had taken his spot behind you, leaning over your shoulders to look at your screen.

“So is this why you were having lunch

alone

with Sunny the other day?”

You were scrolling rather aimlessly, searching for the perfect match but your mind was dwelling on the smiling photo of the girl on that paper that sat on your desk.

“Uhh,” he said as he pulled the resume toward him and looked down at it for a few seconds and he looked at your face for a few more seconds with a smallish tick of his head, almost as if he had picked up on something in your voice with your question about Sunny. You were pretty sure you had kept all of the words as neutral as possible when you asked. There was no way he picked up on anything you didn’t mean to imply with the very innocent and simple question you had just asked him. Maybe you had been too casual when you asked and the ultra casual tone had looped back around to sounding suspicious.

“Kind of. I knew my detail would end soon and her contract is ending very soon. I wasn't sure it would work out like this though. I didn't realize you were going to fire me. I’ll have to warn her about your temper. Why did you say the word

alone

like that just now? Was it significant that we ate lunch alone?”

Damn him.

You shrugged in response. Casual and not that invested in this. This was the aura you were channeling and trying your absolute best to portray.

You had to close your eyes and inhale a breath. It was less than casual of you. He made a little questioning whine from the back of his throat when he noticed.

“What was that just now,

Noona

? Something is weird.”

Maybe you should send him to Chet’s office.

“Nothing is weird,” you said. You clicked on an opening with Sophie Choi and Baekhyun reached down before the page loaded and pressed the back arrow on your keyboard, sending your browser out of the job working side by side with his mortal enemy.

“Did it bother you that I ate alone with her?

Noona

, were you jealous?” He had his hands on your shoulders and he was shaking you back and forth in his excitement about the idea that you might have been jealous seeing him eating lunch with another woman.

“I’m sending you to Sophie Choi’s office.” You clicked on the same link and he was laughing harder now as if his little theory had somehow been validated by your petty reaction.

“Wait, how did you even know? I thought you ate lunch outside that day. I didn't see you in the cafeteria.”

His teasing mood seemed to have passed and he was looking down at you with genuine curiosity on his face. What should you tell him? The cafeteria was on a different floor from where you had supposedly been and you had absolutely no reason to have walked by and casually seen the two of them.

“I heard some of the office girls talking about you and her eating lunch alone together in the bathroom. Just some silly gossip. They said you both looked good together.”

His eyebrows furrowed and he pulled his face into a scowl.

“Is that — a thing that happens when two people just eat lunch? Is that normal?”

You shrugged, rolling your eyes a bit as a sort of defense before you opened your mouth to say your next bit, “If it’s you, it is. I’m not sure if you know this but you are quite popular with the office ladies. They even mentioned me and you.”

You knew you shouldn’t have said it. It was just a little too painful to talk about with him but your stupid mouth had taken on a mind of its own and the words were already out. Maybe deep down you actually wanted to tell him about it.

When he heard you he gasped quietly.

“Oh shit. What did they say? Are they suspicious of us? Do they know?”

You looked into his wide and panicky eyes and your lips pulled into a small smile as you lifted your hand to lay it lightly over his cheek. “Oh they had a lot of opinions but don't worry, they definitely don't suspect a thing.”

“Why? What did they say?”

You shook your head back and forth, “they said a lot but most of it was that you were way out of my league. I’m too old for you and would be pathetic to even dream of it. And mostly I should know my place.” You felt the smile you had on your face turning just a little bit sad but you couldn't help it.

When you were done listing all the things you had heard that day Baekhyun was quick to respond.

“They’re fucking idiots,” he said. His eyes dipped lower to catch yours when you looked away from him he sought you out again, “all of them. They’re wrong.”

“Yeah, I know,” you said, pushing the smile out of sad smile territory as best you could, you shook your head lightly to rid yourself of the feeling. “It just felt kinda bad when it happened though.”

You felt him then, his arms wrapped around your shoulders and he pulled you into his warmth and his security, slipping one arm between you and the chair and you sat there feeling just a little bit trapped by the hug, but feeling much more comforted by it.

“You should have told me when it happened. Why do you keep so much to yourself when you have me. You're not the manager of this relationship you know. You don't have to be strong with me.”

The physical contact felt too nice and your rational mind was instantly alerted to one more change you needed to make.

“Baek, do you think we can manage one more week of you working here? That way you can be here for the wrap and you can even attend the wrap party, those are always so much fun. But there is one thing I think we need to do…or not do.”

“Of course,” he said with his tight grip around your shoulders loosening some. He was shifting his position and he stood up and leaned his butt against your desk. “I told you I’d do anything.”

“No more sex,” you said quickly and you held your breath, expecting some sort of a response from him. None came so you kept speaking.

“None. Not while you are working here with me. I’m simply unable to focus on the work when I think about you in that way. And maybe if we just completely take it off the table of possibilities we can get through one more week of working together.”

“No sex?” He asked.

“None,” you agreed. “Not while you are here.”

You’d expected something from him. Anything, really. What you got was a light shrug of his shoulders and a nod of his head as if the man was completely unphased by your new condition. I mean, really it was only a week. When you considered the length of your brand new relationship though, and the sheer amount of sex you both had had together already, it felt to you like it might last a decade.

“We’re still dating though right? I can still call you and kiss you and hold you and maybe we can even go on a date.”

The man was surprising. You’d struggled with this part in your own head but he seemed to be taking it very well. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, and maybe this really would work for best.

“You took that very well,” you remarked and he laughed in one breath that puffed out of his chest.

“

Baby

, I just spent the last hour and half absolutely convinced I was getting dumped by the love of my life. Instead I got fired because my super sexy girlfriend cannot keep her hands off of me, which is very flattering in some weird way. I can handle a week. Won’t this be a normal thing for us anyway? You are a woman with cycles and all that.”

His little speech pulled a smile to your lips. Only baekhyun could pull this kind of happiness out of you. He was right. You were the one being unnecessarily dramatic about one week of abstinence. Maybe you were the one with the problem all along.

Your mood felt lifted. Your faith and love in him was substantiated again and again and you couldn’t help the way you rose up from your seat and rushed toward him. You heard the smallest of surprised grunts when you collided into him and wrapped your arms tightly around his middle, burying your face into his neck as you squeezed down tightly.

His arms wrapped tightly around you and you felt the security inside them. His face was close to where you’d tucked your chin over his collarbone and when he dipped and turned into you he inhaled a breath from within your hair, it went on for long enough to completely fill his lungs.

“Why didn’t we have the blinds closed all day? This is nice,” he said with his face tucked deeply inside of your hair.

“We would have had sex on the desk,” your reply was muffled by his dress shirt.

“We would have had sex on the desk,” he said flatly and in full agreement. It brought a small chuckle out of you.

“Does the ‘

no sex’

start right away?”

You nodded your head up and down so he could feel it.

“What is our definition of sex? Kissing, touching, anything over the clothes is allowed?”

You inhaled a deep breath, smelling the way his cologne mixed with the warm scent of his skin. God he smelled good. You weren’t sure how much of his questions were joking and how much he was really trying to get away with, but you knew that once his hands got on you you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself back.

“Middle school textbook heavy petting and Bill Clinton’s definition of what doesn’t count as sex is allowed too?”

He had to be joking. It pulled another laugh out of you.

“Nothing you wouldn’t do in church or in front of your grandmother.”

His hands rubbed over your back now, slow circles running over your skin. You knew this embrace also had a count-down timer on it.

“Yes ma’am,” he whispered over your head and you pulled your face back and away from him just enough for him to do the same as you both looked into each other's eyes for what felt like much longer than should be allowed.

You felt the light fingertips land lightly below your chin and his thumb caressed gently over your bottom lip and he leaned into you. His lips parted over your own and he kissed you so carefully. You could feel his restraint. You returned his kiss you matched the restraint. The pull back from his mouth was slow and anguished though and despite the holding back from both sides you fully recognized the look of desire you saw deep inside those brown eyes and you knew you weren’t alone in being dramatic about the week to come.

“We should go,” you said as you closed your eyes briefly and clenched down on your jaw.

He nodded his head and swallowed. You backed away from him and took away all of that warmth you’d stolen from his body with you.

“Let’s go tell the team this is your last week so all the girls can cry.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The announcement of Baekhyun’s departure to your team caused more stir than you had expected.

You’d anticipated a few disappointed groans, maybe some questions about the reason for the sudden change; even though there had never been any misconceptions that he was a permanent fixture on this team. But what actually happened was quite a bit of pushback from several members who said Baekhyun’s contributions had helped them greatly with the everyday. Either through his communication style, his sense of humor that usually made the office mood light and fun, with his organization, or his sense of leadership. You’d known that your own heart and soul had benefited greatly from having him on your side, but you hadn’t quite realized the impact he had on the rest of the team too.

The ladies seemed to take it particularly hard and you found your eyes pulled to him as he smiled his sweet smile in their direction, even frowning at a few in solidarity that he had to be pulled away from them all so suddenly. One younger member of your team who sat in the far back of the room abruptly rushed out of the room in tears, coming back after a few moments with a flushed face and hand full of tissues.

“What the hell was that about?” You whispered to him through tightly gritted teeth.

“I’ve never seen that girl in my entire life,” he whispered back through his wide toothy smile.

You tried your best to mitigate the negativity that had seemed to take over and when you announced that there would be a new replacement to take his place right away they only groaned louder. It was only after you agreed to throw a going away party after his final day did they finally settle down; placated by the thought of good food and alcohol on the company’s dime.

The commotion in the office settled and as you carried on with your day a new commotion seemed to be brewing inside of you the more you paid attention to your soon-to-be-Ex assistant. He went about his usual day-to-day duties only this time with a certain flair of finality to them. He was performing things with just a little bit more care and thoroughness, being sure to make plenty of notes in some book he kept. You began to feel an ache somewhere inside the more you watched him. He was so glaring with it too; as he carefully organized and stacked things with brand new super obvious labels he’d made that left no doubt at all about what was what and where things were. He also was speaking out loud as he did it, making sure you were paying attention so that when he was gone you could still find the things you needed.

While you found the entire thing extremely sweet of him to go through such great lengths for you, you also could not shake that melancholy lump that had settled deep inside of your chest.

How would you manage without him?

You knew, of course, the rational part of your brain knew that you were being very dramatic right now, and you would, of course, manage just fine, but still… how?

“I think I’ve made a mistake,” you said, to your own horror out loud. The words pushed their way out of your lips before you could stop them and Baekhyun looked up from where he had been digging inside of a file box across the office. His eyebrows lifted in silent question and you quickly closed your mouth back up and shook your head, as if you saying something like that to him without elaborating was anything you could shake your head about and have him actually ignore you.

“What mistake?” You’d already looked back at your computer screen to the conversation you were having with Advertising Manager Park who was basically frothing at the mouth at the idea of having The Byun Baekhyun, of the esteemed family Byun, whose fame and fortune preceded them all, working alongside one of their very own Senior Advertising executives. It wasn’t an assistant role. It wasn’t even working beside Chet as you had so threatened him with. It was something he would possibly even struggle with at first, but of course he would learn and he would adapt and then they had better watch out because he was going to outshine them all, you were sure of it.

“It’s nothing,” you said lamely and you rolled your eyes at how very silly you were acting after having been the very one to decide on this change.

“

Noona

, what mistake? What happened?” He repeated and he had left the open box behind as he made his way to stand behind your desk. He was looking curiously at your computer screen, clearly trying to decipher your cryptic words on his own since you weren’t offering up any clues.

His warm hand landed over your mouse hand and he bent at the waist to look at your computer as he moved your hand to move your mouse. You watched the side profile of his pretty face. His skin was clear and his lips were pink and pouty. You felt his fingertips land just between your own and he was clicking around your screen, quickly mouthing along as he was reading messages you had sent about his wonderful work ethic, sharp responsive wit, and charming social skills. You’d really sold it and his middle finger clicked against the scroll wheel a few times before he came up blank and turned his attention back to your face, lightly touching into your eyes with his dark brown questioning ones.

“I mean you,” you said with a small frown pulling at your lips. “What will I do without you here?”

His lips pushed down into a small frown and he blinked his brown eyes slowly at you. You knew that you had decided this for the both of you; without even asking him for alternative ideas first. Now the wheels were in motion on a steep hill and there was no way to stop it. He was leaving and it was your own damn fault.

“You’ll be fine,” he said softly. His thumb brushed comforting strokes over the back of your hand and his eyes traveled over your face before bouncing back into your eyes for the briefest moments and then he was very quickly looking away from your pouting face. He inhaled a breath and straightened out his spine, standing up and taking the close-up view of his pretty face with him. It only served to deepen the frown.

“Sunny will be good. You can trust me on this. I’ll always take care of you. Even from another department.”

“But she’s not you. No matter how good she is, she’s not my Assistant Byun.” You knew you were acting childish. Having laid down for just two minutes on the bed you’d made yourself and all of a sudden you had something to say about the quality of the sheets.

“You big baby,” he said under his breath with a little shake of his head. He’d already moved back to the big box he had been digging through and he left you to it; whatever this mood you’d brought on yourself was. You knew he didn’t feel any better about this but he seemed to have processed his disappointment already and had moved on to busying himself with the preparations for what was to come.

The afternoon progressed in much of the same manner. Your mood was shot and watching him buzz around you as busy as he was getting ready for the changes to come only made you feel it more.

When quitting time arrived you swallowed away the disappointment as best as you could, said a fond farewell to him, and watched him walk out the door of your office; one day closer to the last time you’d see him at work.

Your feet were dragging and you felt exhausted from the day as you made your way downstairs, through the large lobby beyond the security turnstiles and you’d made it halfway down the sidewalk walking in the direction of your bus stop when a sound pulled your attention from the street. There was a quick horn that beeped, and a flash of lights.

You knew him in an instant. His car wasn’t exactly inconspicuous. You’d stopped your steps when you heard the horn but a glance around you for witnesses kept you from immediately going up to the car.

There were a few odd stragglers still emerging from the building and you pointed with a finger around the corner just a little further from the entrance. You couldn’t see in due to the dark tint of his windows but you trusted he would be paying attention enough to catch your meaning.

You were walking now, headed in the opposite direction of your bus stop you quickly crossed a small street and as you walked you could hear the low rumble of that big engine as the car followed where you traveled. When you were satisfied with the distance you made your way for the passenger door, hearing the click as the locks disengaged the moment you put your hand on the door handle. You pulled that door open and you slipped inside.

You hadn’t expected this. You had fully intended to take the bus home and sit and stew in your crappy mood alone with maybe a pint of ice cream and some trashy romance playing on your tv.

Baekhyun didn’t immediately speak to you when you sat down in his passenger seat. All you got was a sweet smile before he pulled out into traffic, driving off toward who-knows-where. He was headed in the opposite direction of your apartment and your knowledge of the geography of this town told you that he wasn’t making a big ol loop to turn back around. Instead he seemed to be merging onto a freeway.

Your bad mood had vanished with that first smile he had given you and now that he was no longer looking at you, you leaned your head against the comfy headrest and watched his side profile as he drove. His tongue darted out to moisten his lips and he swallowed in a way that made his throat bounce up and down. His arm extended out with his left hand rested light on the top of the steering wheel and his eyes settled ahead as he watched the traffic ahead of him.

Somehow, you not knowing where he was taking you didn’t bug you at all. You simply settled into the seat with your shoulders angled just enough so you could watch him as he drove. It was amazing; how easily your mood had turned around. He could take you anywhere he wanted as long as you could look at his pretty face as he did it.

A change in the momentum of the car brought you out of the quiet trance. He had taken an exit, slowed the car, turned two or three times down some winding roads that weaved in between buildings and he drove down unfamiliar streets, all the while he kept his eyes carefully focused on the road until you could feel the itch of curiosity building inside of you.

The neighborhood felt old. His fancy car definitely looked out of place here and you noticed the occasional glance as very normal and regular people caught a glimpse of it from their busy street corners and tables set up outside of convenience stores.

He was signaling though and he then he was turning and when he pulled into a plain looking parking spot in front of what looked like a hole in the wall place whose signage boasted the simple kind of comfort food that you might expect to find on your grandmother’s table you followed his lead and unbuckled your seatbelt with wide eyes and that curious itch clawing against the backs of your teeth.

“We’re here,” he whispered cryptically with a disarming smile and a lift of his eyebrows.

“We are where?” You began to wonder if you had missed something. Had he actually told you what his plans were and you had been too distracted to listen to him? Baekhyun had the kind of voice that you could point out clearly in nearly any noisy room. Something about the sound of it made it nearly impossible for you to ignore even if you wanted to. There was no way you had missed him offering you an explanation for this.

His lips pulled wider.

“Let’s eat,” he said and you pushed at your door to step out onto the worn out pavement of this parking lot. There were some holes and some puddles from a recent rain shower that afternoon and you watched your step as you made your way around the front of his car where he stood and waited with his hand outstretched for you to join him.

The door had a bell on it that rang out noisily as the metal hit against the glass and you heard the sound of an old woman’s voice call out a greeting. The place was empty and it was tiny, with only three tables with four chairs each. You could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen and knowing what you knew about Baekhyun and his excellent judgment in all things, you were certain that you were in for something delicious..

“Welcome. Come in. Sit anywhere you—” Her standard greeting was interrupted as she peeked her head around a corner that separated the tiny dining area from the kitchen.

The woman burst around the corner, “Ahh! Baekhyun-ie, my

baby boy

! Come here!” She was closing in on him fast and the giggles that came from his chest as the old woman pulled him in tight for a full-body hug had you genuinely wondering who this woman was in his life to warrant such an enthusiastic and warm greeting.

When she released him from the tight embrace, she wasn’t done. You heard him say something that sounded a little bit like

‘Halmi

,’ but it was mumbled from very deep down inside of her arms.

“It’s been too long. It’s been so long. Where have you been that you stayed away for so long?” Her hands lightly swatted over his shoulders with the little complaints she had. The affection between the two was obvious. She gripped both sides of his face tightly with her worn, wrinkly hands and it took only a few moments of her glistening eyes taking him in for the awareness of your presence beside him to suddenly dawn on her.

She looked at your face for the briefest moment before her wide eyes were back on him; looking into his face expectantly with everything about her body language relaying her unspoken questions.

Her eyebrows raised, her lips pushed into an O shape, and her mouth asked a silent

‘Who?’

She asked this of Baekhyun.

“

Halmi

—” the name he called her again although it felt like a term of endearment more than a familial relationship, “

Mimi

,” He’d taken the sweet nickname and made it even cuter before he continued, “this is my girlfriend.” His palm was up and extended in front of you as he said your first name with as wide a smile as you had seen on his face.

When his palm moved, the other joined in and he gestured toward the woman as he spoke quietly to you now, “This is

Mimi

. My nanny. She raised me since I was a baby — my whole life.”

As soon as the words were out, she was fussing. She gasped noisily with her eyes wide and her hands went to cover over her mouth. Just as quickly as she did that, she was reaching her hands out in your direction; reaching for your arms. Her hands traveled down to grasp tightly over both of your hands and she was smiling a wide grin in your direction. She was moving all over the place, trembling with genuine excitement before you. The happiness you felt radiating from her was contagious and you felt your own wide smile responding in kind.

“Oh my!” She gave you a wondrous smile. “Would you look at that?” She looked into your face with a curious expression of awe painted across her features. You didn’t really know how to respond to this. You’d never been received by a stranger with such enthusiasm before and you looked into Baekhyun’s smiling face with what you were sure was confusion and many questions, although hopefully, very well-hidden ones.

“You can call me

Mimi

too — silly boy, I’m not his grandmother but he’s called me that since he was a baby,” she said as she shook your hands up and down inside of her own. Her admission made you laugh, reminding you of how stubborn he was about calling you

Noona

when you had first met him. She had taken a step into you.

“Oh,” she lifted a hand up to touch over the side of your face and she looked deep inside of your eyes as she did it. She looked at you for what felt like ages and you could find nothing else to do but look back at the old woman. After a few breaths she was nodding her head as if she had understood something profound with that simple look into your eyes and that gentle touch upon your face.

You weren’t sure how one look could have done it, but you felt it in an instant. With this one introduction you had a complete and unfaltering understanding of how Baekhyun could be such a sweet and gentle human being who was kind and sensitive and so very beautiful on the inside.

It had been her.

She was why.

Everything about his unimaginable wealth and privilege should have had some sort of a detrimental effect on him, and try as hard as you could, you couldn’t quite understand how he was still so down to earth, so genuine, and how he felt so real. People with the kind of privilege that he had didn’t just turn out completely unaffected by it and yet Baekhyun had surprised you again and again with just how very good he seemed to be deep down inside.

With this meeting, you understood at once.

This woman had raised Baekhyun, her sweet and precious

baby boy

, with so much love. She had loved him completely and with her whole being and all at once you felt overwhelmed by it. You felt grateful to her and you felt awestruck in her presence. That overwhelming feeling, it rose up inside of your esophagus and you had to swallow it back down; sniffing through your nose as your breathing grew just a little bit constricted. You blinked your eyes rapidly to rein in the unexpected rise in emotions. If either of them noticed how suddenly affected you felt by this meeting, they didn't react.

She moved so quickly with it all. She was as intense as he was. You recognized an uncanny likeness between the two of them with the size of their giant personalities.

She was obviously very old and yet so full of energy. She was well in motion now. The shocked gasps from her lips quickly turned into more complaining as her hand rose up to lightly touch at the hair on her head and she let go of your hands to lightly smack Baekhyun on his arm, pulling a rough laugh from his chest. “Why didn’t you warn me? I look like this. She’s so pretty.”

“Where did you find such a pretty girl? She doesn't know how annoying you can be yet, does she?” The woman’s frantic fussing was winding down and turning into playful teasing. Baekhyun was still laughing as she seemed to be talking to herself while also steering him further inside the room with her hands on him, “Oh, well she’s going to find out soon enough. How did you trick her into it? A girlfriend! I can’t believe it.”

“How many years has it been? I told you to find a girl to love enough to bring her to me and now you’ve done it, my

baby boy

. Now I can go in peace. You have someone to love. My heart can rest.”

The significance of Baekhyun having brought you here today hit you harder and harder the more you listened to her talk. Just as he hadn’t warned her, he also didn’t say a thing to you about this. That same overwhelming feeling in your chest pulsed hot and it spread just under your skin, up your neck and face; making your eyes burn. You blinked again, willing yourself to breathe in and out slowly in some attempt to keep your emotions in check. Although if he had warned you about meeting the woman who raised him, you might not have so blindly climbed inside his car and let him take you wherever he wanted to take you without even so much as a question.

She didn’t care about your age. Or how much money your family had or your salary right now. She didn’t care about your position at work, the price tag of the designer bags you’d splurged on, or about how small of a dress size you could fit into.

She only cared that Baekhyun loved you and that was enough for her. You liked to imagine that one day that would also be enough for you.

She was steering him through the small room, hands gesturing to one of the tables, clearly instructing you both to sit down. You could feel in your bones that some food was about to come out. It was going to come out whether you asked for it or not and there was going to be a lot of it. This was a doting mother feeding her hungry child.

“Sit, sit. You’ll both be very hungry. I’ll bring out the food.” It didn’t sound like a survey of your hunger levels so much as it was a clear command, said with such authority that you quickly pulled out a chair and sat your butt down on it.

You were right about the food. There was too much of it and it was the kind of home-made comfort food that only came from someone who had been feeding someone that they loved for a lifetime. The rice, the stews, the dishes on the side, every single thing that touched your tongue felt familiar right down into your soul. You ate until you felt ready to burst and there was still so much of it left on the table.

You couldn't remember the last time you had such a comforting meal. Despite this not being your home and not being your family, everything about the experience felt like coming back home after having been away for much too long.

Even her nagging felt so comfortable. It all came from a place of love. She nagged him about visiting her more often and you quickly found yourself promising to come back again with him, even telling her that you would be sure to remind him when he had been away for too long. Strangely, you meant it too and his eyes watched you with such a fondness that you had to look away from the man just to keep your wits about you.

When the tables turned and it was Baekhyun’s turn to nag and scold his

Mimi

for continuing to work tirelessly, for not retiring on the money he had always deposited into her account, she was quick with a dismissive hand wave, saying that life wasn’t for her and if she stopped working she would drop dead and she had to see him get married before she left this Earth. You didn’t miss the small wink she shot at you behind his back when she said it and the entire exchange had your cheeks burning and you choked and coughed on the small glass of water you had been sipping on.

Baekhyun was stubborn and once he got started on a cause, he wouldn't quit. He insisted too much on her taking a vacation, or living the life of luxury he had clearly provided for her and she told him she would think about it as she reminded him of the time, explaining that she had to close up the shop and get to bed. It didn’t seem that late in the evening but he eventually gave up the fight anyway.

You were both promptly expelled and given several containers filled with food with well wishes from all sides and promises to see each other again soon.

Once everything was securely fastened inside the car and you were both seated well inside the car with the doors closing out the noise and the chaos from that visit, there was a moment before he started the engine when you both just sat in a kind of shell-shocked silence.

“

Mimi

might be the sweetest lady I’ve ever met in my life,” you said in a whisper and you heard a small chuckle escape from his chest.

“Well, she liked you,” he said as if that fact held some sort of reasoning for why you found her to be so lovely.

He reached forward and pressed the button that made his car engine roar to life, “don't let the sweet old lady act fool you. She can be downright nasty if she doesn't like someone. But you…of course she would like you. I knew she would like you.”

“How did you know?”

“Because

I

love you.”

He said it so casually as if anyone in the world could see it as plain as day as he reversed the car and headed off into a direction you could not give a name to even if you tried. You didn’t recognize any of these neighborhoods or street names.

“What are we going to do with all of this food? She always gives me so much,” He said with a glance in his rear view mirror, “I think I need to go home so I can put it away.”

His home — Baekhyun’s home.

You hadn’t been to his home yet. The opportunity simply had not presented itself with this relationship being just so very brand new.

“You don't have any reason why you need to be home in a hurry do you? We aren’t very far from my place.”

Not only had you not planned on this outing with him, you hadn’t actually made any plans for your evening at all. Maybe just something relaxing. Then maybe something soft and comfortable. It was all a vague and distant hypothetical that clearly didn’t have anywhere near the magnetism that spending a few more hours with this man had.

“Aside from a warm bath and a comfy bed, I hadn’t planned much for my evening at all.”

“I have a bath tub,” he said nearly under his breath and an amused giggle escaped from your lips.

“Ahh, and I bet your bed is very comfortable too,” you teased him playfully at first, but halfway through the sentence the back of your brain buzzed a noisy alert.

Making silly jokes about his bed as he was pulling his fancy car into the first level of a parking garage in one of the most exclusive parts of town on the very same day you and he had made a promise of abstinence was definitely on some unexplored list of No-Nos.

He parked and turned the engine off. The silence and stillness in this car was all at once overwhelming and Baekhyun had leaned forward with his arms folded over the steering wheel, resting his head on them as he turned to look at you from the driver’s seat. He hadn’t replied at all to your silly comment about his bed and the longer he stared at you quietly the more stifling the air inside this darkened car became.

Outside of the car, the garage was lit, but only just. Not enough for any fine definition to be visible in his features and the dark tint on these windows blocked out nearly everything else. You could still see enough of his face to know that he was still looking at you. You knew so much about the beauty of this man’s face to know exactly what had been building inside this closed up car the second he had turned that engine off. The silence magnified the sound of him. You could also hear his steady breathing and after a moment you heard a click as he reached a hand down and unfastened his seatbelt.

The next bits of motion from him were a dreamy haze. You felt him move closer to you. He was leaning over the center console into your space in this car and you heard the click of your own seat belt at the same moment that you felt his hand brush against your hip.

You smelled him moments before you felt the warm air from his mouth and you closed your eyes when you felt his soft lips press over yours. His lips parted and your own wandering fingertips reached up to touch the soft skin of his face. With your fingertips on him, every movement of his jaw as he opened his mouth felt that much more pronounced. Every tilt of his head and every gasp of breath from his lungs you felt them all magnified under your fingertips. His tongue was soft and wet against your own and the greedy drag he took from your lungs gave you no chance to recover from his needy mouth that only wanted more. When he pulled back he sucked your bottom lip deep into his mouth, the desire that flooded your veins had your fingertips constricting; wrapping around the nape of his neck; threading fingers into his hair — an unrestricted and unwavering desire filled your senses making you second guess your sanity when you proposed something as silly as a week without giving in to what both of you wanted from each other.

It was Baekhyun that pulled away from you first; with both of his hands cradling your face, you lost his lips first and with a huff and heavy breaths coming from your own lungs, he held you firmly in place with his forehead leaned up against yours as he begged his lungs to calm his breathing down.

When he finally spoke it was after you’d managed to pull your hands off of the smooth warmth of his skin and some bits of your sanity were beginning to return to your conscious mind.

“This much is okay, right?” His dark pupils were clearly visible from up close and they peppered over your face, touching lightly into your own eyes before the focus was lost and he leaned into you again, pressing his mouth over your parted lips again and all of the progress you had made in your recovery was gone.

“I want you,” he groaned into your open mouth, “you taste so sweet.”

He was insane.

It was not okay.

No. Baekhyun. This much wasn’t okay. You felt on fire.

You were not handling it very well, and when you threaded your fingertips in his hair behind his head you tightened the grip you had on his hair. Briefly and only for a moment, you felt just too overcome. You had lost his lips again. He had pulled away from you again, but you were much too overcome. Briefly and only for the scant few seconds it took for your lips to open up over the smooth warm skin of his neck and just below his ear you knew the perfect spot where this man had oftentimes driven you beyond the brink with his teeth. When you had simply lost your damn mind, and you let your teeth sink into the sensitive skin there, you were instantly rewarded with the sweetest and most addictive sound from deep within his body. It was a whimper. It was a moan. It was cursing and his hands were grabbing hold of your wandering hands roughly as he pushed, and held and forced your hands down and off of his body completely.

“Nope. It’s not okay. It’s too much. Fuck — fuck.” He was loud. A light flooded the cabin and you squinted against the sudden brightness, hearing the sound of his car door opening and he was gone in an instant. The change was so abrupt it brought you back into your mind. It only took a moment for your eyes to adjust to the increase in lighting and you could see him standing up in the space between his car and the open door.

You had gone overboard. You knew it then, he had a sensitive neck and with the current restrictions in your relationship, you should have just behaved yourself.

His hand motioned in your direction as he opened his fingers, closed them again and shook his hand out. He wasn’t speaking anymore, but you could taste much of the same frustration he was feeling on the back of your tongue.

“Should I just quit?” You heard him ask. “I should just quit. Right now. And then it doesn't matter what we do.” There was a tinge of hopeless humor in his voice. He was coming down from it and was trying to distract himself with sarcasm and jokes.

“You can't quit,” you answered the question he wasn’t actually asking you.

“Why can't I? I’m an adult.”

“Because I need you.” Your lips had pulled into a small pout when you spoke again, “I’m not ready to let you go yet.”

He had bent at the waist and his head appeared in the open space. He was looking at you with a curious expression.

“Let’s just try and make it through the week,” you said with as much of an apology in your voice as you could manage, “I’m sorry I bit you. I’ll behave myself, I promise.” You lifted a pinky finger in his direction and waved it but he didn’t move.

This had been your own idea. Your solution to the work issue that you knew would cause these kinds of challenges for you both, and you had been the first one to take it too far. The frown on your face was genuine. You were actually feeling just a little bad for losing yourself so easily with him.

He quietly stared at you and his lips hung as the tip of his tongue darted out to run over his front teeth before he bit down on his bottom lip and closed up his mouth.

“We should take the food inside,” he seemed to have regained his composure with the distance he put between your mouth and his neck and you nodded with what you hoped was a believably innocent of a smile on your face as you got out of the car, made your way around the front end to stand beside him with your arms outstretched, ready to help carry the load of

Mimi’s

food.

“So…” he began as he passed bundles of carefully tied containers into your waiting hands, “you’re going to be on your best behavior now?”

His tone sounded funny. Almost much too flirtatious for your shaky and new found self control to handle. You looked up into his face, noticing on the smirk you caught for just a split second.

He was walking now and you trailed behind him as you both reached an elevator. The journey felt like a maze. There were doors after doors all with locks that disengaged with something he kept in his pocket and all the while you hadn’t caught any glimpse of another soul. You’d expected to see others coming home from work perhaps or venturing out for dinner. You had noticed that the elevator down in the garage had next to nothing
printed on it as elevators usually did and something about it looked extremely closed off, almost private.

“Where are your neighbors? Why is this place so empty?” It was honestly overwhelming just how different this felt from when you took the bus and got home from work.

He had reached another door and had pulled it open.

“I imagine they’re at their own homes. This is my home.” He said it with a shrug and your eyes widened.

“Yeah but the elevator, the other cars in the garage.” His eyes wandered and his feet kept moving as the space suddenly opened up into an enormous space that was very obviously an entryway to a grand home.

“Sorry,” he shook his head lightly and winced, “my cars in my garage. My elevator.”

Your eyes were wide with the shock of it. When you had first sat inside his car and you had been thrown off by the scale of this man but this felt like a completely different story. You clearly had no idea. This man was so out of the ordinary that you suddenly had no idea how to proceed with this new knowledge.

“For the record, I didn’t — ask for this estate. I didn’t pick it. I think it’s too big, too cold, too fucking empty. I kind of hate it most of the time.”

On his walls were what you were certain had to be priceless art works and you both passed a room that seemed to be entirely dedicated to showcasing some giant statue of a naked lady that stood illuminated in the very center of the otherwise empty room. The place felt like a museum. How did he even find his way around?

“I spend most of my time in my bedroom.” He said.

You’d taken some stairs down, not enough to be a full story but you both turned a corner and reached a kitchen with an enormous center island, more drawers and space that you could even think to be able to fill with stuff and he pressed a hand over one of the walls. To your surprise it opened. It was an enormous fridge.

He’d put the food away. You had yet to comment on any of the things you saw and all of this walking had made you dizzy. Baekhyun had turned away from the fridge wall and had grabbed both of your hands as he swung them lightly and dipped his face to catch your flighty eyes.

“

Baby

, why aren’t you saying anything?” He was smiling at you but there was some concern in his eyes as he did it. “Do you hate it here? Should I move? I’ll move if you hate it. I don’t like being so far away from you anyway.”

You could see the anxiety in his body language and his rambling told you that maybe part of the reason why you hadn’t had the opportunity to visit Baekhyun inside his home yet was because the man was apprehensive of showing all of this to you.

“I’m just…very surprised. It’s a lot, Baek.” You opted for honesty. It wasn’t that you hated it. You just suddenly felt so very small standing in here. “How do you find anything? Who is that naked lady in the other room and why does she get her own room to be naked in?”

Your genuine question pulled a loud laugh from his chest and he was pulled your arms against him now. He pulled you hard and your legs stumbled forward until you collided with his chest and he wrapped his strong arms tightly around your shoulders. You felt him tuck his face into your neck and he was giggling just a little bit.

“She came with the house. But yes that is her room. If you are jealous you can come and get naked in my room. Didn't you say you wanted a bath?”

You were laughing now. You did feel super overloaded when you first came inside this home but having his arms around you with his little jokes in your ear put your heart at ease. He was still your boyfriend. He was Baekhyun. Baekhyun happened to be a whole lot but at least you could count on his

warm strong arms and his disarming jokes and even more disarming smile.

“Take me to your room because I want to see it. But I’m keeping my clothes on.”

He was pulling on your arm as he walked backwards. There were some more steps, this time they went up and they led to a hallway that turned a corner. He turned to walk forward with occasional glances at you as he moved and at last he had stopped in front of a pair of closed double doors.

“I have a picture of you next to my bed. Don’t freak out. I just like looking at you when I wake up. And you won’t let me come live with you. A man’s gotta survive…”

“A what? Where did you—”

He had opened the door and inside was a much more comforting feeling space than you had seen in any other room you’d passed by. Of course it was huge, but despite its large size felt so much more livable and real than most of the rest of the home. The bedroom itself felt more like it’s own studio apartment with occasional nooks for a small library and desk, another nook for a gaming computer and a wrap-around sofa with a large tv mounted on the wall.

“Ahhh,” you said suddenly understanding. This... this was his home. This space was entirely his. This place with the pop culture artwork on the walls, the big bed that sat on the other side behind a glass partition, “Now this feels like your place.”

Your legs carried you to his bed and you couldn’t help yourself with the way you threw your body down, moaning out in delight at the incredible way his soft mattress hugged your body. The bed felt incredible. You turned your head and facing you was an image of your own smiling face in a small frame that stood on his nightstand beside the hexagonal shaped table lamp you had seen in the video call.

You reached for the frame and tried to recall when he must have snapped this picture. But the season didn’t match for when you both had started dating. This wasn’t recent. No, he took this picture of you long before that. You recognized that the last time you wore that coat was last spring when the last late cold snap blew through; right before the oppressive summer heat took over.

How long had this man been keeping his crush a secret from you and how many other photos had he snapped of your silly smiling face without you even noticing.

You felt the bed dip behind you and the warmth of his arms encased you. His fingers reached out and he grabbed the frame from your hand, pulling it gently out of your fingers so he could place it back in its spot on his nightstand.

His fingertips brushed up the length of your extended arm slowly and traveled up your shoulder to move your hair out of the way for his lips. You felt him breathing here and your eyes seemed to close on their own when you felt the pull of air he inhaled from beside your ear.

“Do you want to take a bath with me?”

“Naked?” Your own voice took on a panicky sounding lift when you stupidly responded to his question.

“Do you usually wear clothes in the bathtub?” He trailed his index finger lightly along your jawline. All at once you knew you were in some danger here laying in this bed beside this man who clearly had not learned a damn thing from what happened in the car earlier.

“Isn’t that dangerous, Baekhyun? I don't seem to have enough self control to be around you even with clothes on.”

You felt the hot exhale from his lungs. A long deep sigh that sounded very much like deep disappointment of a man who was still very affected by the closeness with you.

“Tell me again why I can't quit tonight.” You found his tone curious. His words did not lift at the end as you expected this sort of question would.

“You know already,” you whispered, opening your eyes back up as you tried to ignore the way his fingertips felt brushing against your skin.

“Tell me again though.”

Now you understood why it didn’t sound like he was asking you a question. It wasn’t one. He knew what you had told him and he wanted to hear it from you again.

“I need you. I’m not ready to let you go.” The danger you felt with this multiplied when you said it. His fingertips were joined by more digits and he touched your face so lightly with his hand, “Again,” he whispered.

You turned your head and you said it again, “I need you.”

You turned your shoulders around and you were spinning on this bed turning your entire self around so you could wrap your arms around his waist and you tucked your into his chest.

“I need you. I need you and I love you. ” you said again and again and again as you wiggled your forehead against him with the repeated words that he wanted to hear from you. You felt the rumbles inside his chest and he was giggling as he wrapped you up tightly within his arms.

“Okay,” he said over your head, “then I’ll be the strong one. Just stay like this with me tonight. Just let me hold you and it’s enough. It’s enough.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You couldn’t stay in this bed with him. Your resolve was much too shaky for the sticky humidity that was building between the two of you and it was too early to fall asleep. You hadn’t even showered. You didn't have any extra clothes here either and you had a real work day tomorrow.

This whole thing was extremely impractical.

Yet actually getting up and pulling yourself out of his warm arms and actually walking across that large room to somehow find the exit felt like a solo journey on a small sailboat across the ocean. Just stupid to try alone and probably impossible.

Plus you hadn’t yet had a chance to see the whole house. Imagine, an entire room dedicated to a single statue, what kinds of other insane sights were waiting to be seen. It would be such a shame to miss it.

He had kept his hands to himself outside of the tight hug on this bed, and your own body had calmed down enough for some thoughts other than sex to eventually flit into your mind, even if you could feel how very messy and affected you were just from all of that tension and unresolved desire from the car, and frankly just from being this close to this man.

“Okay,” you said after holding your breath for long enough, after distracting your mind for long enough, after coming to terms with the fact that you would not be getting any sort of actual relief today, tomorrow, the day after, or for the rest of the week. It just wasn't happening. Your mind had accepted this and your body would simply have to accept it as well, “show me the bathtub. Let’s take a bath.”

It didn’t sound like he had fallen asleep, but it took him a few moments of quiet breathing to respond.

“Naked?” He said the same thing you’d said when he suggested it earlier, “Isn’t that dangerous?”

“You can lend me some clothes. At least a shirt. We definitely won't have sex.”

You were looking up into his face and he was looking down at you with his wandering brown eyes that floated all over your face.

He lifted a single eyebrow and gave his head a tiny shake.

“

Noona

, don't take this the wrong way and I love you so fucking much, but I think you might really be crazy.” He lifted a hand and he rubbed it roughly over his face.

A small laugh broke from your chest. Maybe he was right, but you were simply too invested in this charade now. You were too far in denial for much reason to make it through your thoughts.

“You suggested we take a bath earlier.” The accusation came out in a half chuckle and Baekhyun sat up on his arms on the bed beside you.

“Well yeah, that was … before,” he said with his lips pulled into a small wince and his eyebrows pulled down low, “when there was still some hope,” he rolled his eyes upward and his head wiggled back and forth with the little admission, “— you must think I am stronger than I am. I just got it back under control. Are you actually trying to kill me?” He was really going now. The frustrations must be getting to him.

“What kind of shirt,” He had turned his torso, lifted a hand and made a sweeping motion over the length of you, “do you think you can wear in the bath with me?”

“Just give me a long one,” you said with a shrug.

He had closed his eyes and lifted his hand over his face again, only this time he was rubbing his temples with his middle finger and his thumb.

“Oh..just a long one she says, why didn’t I think of that.” He was talking to himself. You pouted your lips at him and his eyes opened and he looked over at your face for a moment. He was pushing himself off the bed. You definitely heard a bit of attitude on his voice now, with the sarcastic responses and the mumbling. He had disappeared behind the glass partition but you were certain you heard him say something about a whole month’s worth of blue balls in one night.

He was gone for a moment and you sat with your legs curled up into your chest on his bed, seriously beginning to question this entire plan. The abstinence thing. Was it really supposed to help with the attraction you felt for each other? Weren’t you already in much too deep with him right here, about to get into the bath together, what difference did the sex make, you’d been touching and kissing and holding each other all night.

Maybe this was just uncessarry torture.

But you’d already taken it this far. He’s already promised to be the strong one. What kind of a spineless asshole would you seem like if you backed out now?

You couldn't keep pushing and pulling him around according to your whims of the moment. It was time for you to just stick with what you had decided, even if no matter how much you thought about it, it was really very stupid for you to genuinely believe that you could fix anything by withholding. If anything, the no sex rule seemed to only make you want him more.

A white flash of fabric flying at you caught you off guard and made you flinch. A soft white cotton shirt landed in your lap.

Baekhyun was standing with his arms on his hips staring at you curled up on his bed.

He lifted his chin, motioning toward the shirt, “Go ahead.” His voice challenged. “Let’s see the magic shirt.”

He knew what you were. You knew what you were. You were a crazy person.

You were wavering. You were wrong. This wasn't something that would simply go away because you didn't give into it. You were sitting here in his home, in his bed with about as high an attraction as you’ve ever felt for any other human being and you suddenly wanted to give up. No amount of abstinence was going to make this go away.

You stood up, holding the shirt in your hands. Baekhyun was standing in the same spot but his arms were crossed over his chest now as he leaned against the wall with his eyes on you.

You could feel an unsteadiness in your limbs and your fingers fumbled with the button of your dress shirt. You got it open and the next three followed. You knew you were wearing the red bra below this shirt and your eyes pulled up into his. You’d half expected him to turn around, or make some effort to avert his eyes as you undressed, but he was frozen, watching as you took the dress shirt off and slipped your hands into the sleeves of this plain white t-shirt.

At least he didn’t get the full view. You managed to remove the bra, the skirt, and your underwear all from beneath this shirt. It was long enough too; the hem fell just mid thigh. It kind of just looked like you wore a comfy sleep shirt that just happened to belong to him and sure, maybe you were completely naked below it, but that didn’t have to mean you were about to have sex with this man in that bathtub.

Baekhyun groaned into his hands. He was covering the bottom of his face with both of them. “I can’t do this,” he whispered. “I said I would be the strong one.” He said with a hopeless laugh erupting from his chest. It was the sound of a man who had given up his sanity. The sound of a man who was doomed.

“I’m — I’m,” He inhaled a deep and trembling breath, placing a flat palm on his chest, “I’m not stronger than this. Why did I bring you home? Why did I put you in my bed and then put you in my shirt?”

His complaints tugged at your heart and the three steps you’d taken in his direction stopped. You had been struggling on your own with the desire but hearing his words a mirror of your own heart’s struggles shed even further light unto just how flawed your shoddy plan had been.

“What if we just stop the stupid plan? Baek, I think I was wrong.” You said suddenly. Baekhyun’s eyes landed on your face up from where his eyes had been roaming down the length of you. His lips that had been hanging open since his earlier complaints pulled closed and he inhaled a breath and turned his head away from you.

“It’s just a week,” you heard him say. His jaw clenched down hard enough for you to see the muscles in his face surge.

“Haven’t we tried it enough already though… hmm?” You felt a single eyebrow lift on your forehead with your small question that made your cheeks burn with the blood that rushed just under your skin. You felt so silly now; vacillating so damn easily in front of him. What must he think of you; his flighty, wushu-washy girlfriend.

“I wasn’t…I wasn’t trying to convince you. I’m just struggling. I’ll get over it. If you’ll forgive me for anything you see me going through in the bath. Just — don’t touch me at all, I really mean that.”

He was moving. He was turning quickly away from where you stood beside his bed wearing nothing but his shirt and he had made his way off, disappearing through a doorway. This must be where the bathroom was.

Your legs carried you and your entire body felt on fire all over again.

You wanted him. You wanted so much that you were beginning to feel desperate for it; every cell in your body ached for him to touch you and watching his back retreating as he walked away from you made you ache for him even more. You wanted to run to him; to tell him you were wrong about all of it; beg him to touch you and to love you. You burned for it.

Maybe the water would extinguish the flames.

The bathroom was well lit, enormous, and lavish with entire separate sections made of floor to ceiling marble. Some closed off rooms had labels. You walked by something that said wet sauna, something else that said dry sauna, all the while as you walked you passed multiple counter spaces with drawers, nooks, shelves, some benches, some chairs. You passed dual showers with multi shower heads in them that had also had several slots in the ceiling that looked like you might just open an entire waterfall onto your head if you pulled the wrong lever. The entire thing was excessive. You couldn't believe he was calling this a bathroom, this was a private spa. It was way too much for one man living alone and you couldn't help but gasp when you turned a corner and the space opened up and there was one wall lined with wall to wall glass windows overlooking a view of a river bank. You’d never seen anything like this and for a moment you felt transfixed by the nighttime beauty. You hadn’t even known this house sat on the river and that there was so very much of this property that was untouched by the chaos of the busy smashed together buildings of this big city.

You could hear the rush of water running somewhere beyond this room you were standing in. You were almost afraid to take a step into the room with the bathtub, but your curiosity was burning you from the inside as you followed the sound.

You’d caught sight of his back. You had made it through that maze of countertops and vanities, past all of the showers and you had taken in all you could stand of the breathtaking view, your journey must have taken a bit longer than you realized because you caught sight of the back of the man. He was seated facing away from you, already inside the tub. There was clearly plenty of space for you to sit opposite of him and you didn’t even really have to touch him if you didn’t want to. Your first steps into this room where the large bathtub sat in the center was surrounded by more marble and you were hardly even surprised by the sliding glass door that led to some sort of outdoor pool that seemed to disappear over the edge of the horizon. You saw the heap of his clothing and while you could clearly see the clear skin of his back which told you that no, he wasn’t taking a bath in clothes like you were, another step closer to the clothes pile told you that he was completely naked in there. A pair of underwear sat on the very top.

You felt silly now, desperately clinging to this white shirt as if the act of taking a bath with your assistant in itself wasn’t just as incriminating as anything else you both have done together. As if you could somehow overpower the incredible desire with white cotton.

Your stupid plan had been such a weak attempt at controlling your emotions, and you had been such a failure at it too. It was a flimsy grasp at finding something to blame for this. As if the sex wasn’t just a symptom of a deeper thing that was happening inside of you. You wanted him. You felt so desperate for him that it was painful. You wanted all of him and you wanted so much from him that you struggled to define this feeling of deep, all consuming want that had taken over your once rational mind.

Whatever it was, it was more than desire. It was even more than love. It was coursing through your veins as if your blood cells had been infected; as if the bits that made up the cells in your body; the spaces in between the atoms of the matter that composed you were pulled, and ripped, and magnetized by him.

You wanted to consume him like a drug. You wanted him to flow through your veins into your brain and make you high and you wanted him again and again.

You rounded the tub. The water was crystal clear straight through to the bottom of the white porcelain. You could tell the water was warm with the light steam wafting up. Baekhyun sat with his arms over the sides of the tub, making no attempts to hide any bit of himself from you; his head turned and his eyes followed where you moved until you had stepped up and pointed a toe into the water as you quietly entered the tub, sitting on the opposite side. He had the view of the infinity pool and the nighttime city scape beyond the winding river’s edge behind your shoulders but you had arguably the better deal with his beauty in front of you.

The water rose and rippled as you stepped in and while there was plenty of room in this deluxe sized tub for two, you still crossed your legs, making yourself small enough so you didn't have to touch him too much. He’d warned you earlier that you probably should not. Still, your skin burned for it.

The water was very warm. It soaked quickly into the shirt and rivaled the heat that was already all over your skin. The cotton of the shirt floated around your skin and you allowed your body to sink below the water, closing your eyes and releasing the tension in your shoulders with a tiny moan as you let yourself sink. This was the biggest bathtub you’d ever seen and when you sunk so much that the water moved over your head and soaked the top of your head you felt the undeniable warmth of human flesh below your crossed legs. You quickly pushed yourself up and back over to your side of the tub; wiping the water from your face with your hands you looked across the surface of the ripples into his face.

Baekhyun watched you without saying a word. You’d noticed his hair was dry and a glance around didn’t give you any signs of any such things as soap or shampoo.

“Do you have any soap?”

Baekhyun’s focus was shaky. And after a few breaths he shook his head and inhaled while pointing a slim finger toward one of the cabinets on a wall.

“There should be some in there. I forgot it. I’m not exactly in my right mind.”

Your eyes followed where he pointed and then you looked down over the length of your body in the now soaked and rather transparent white t-shirt.

When your eyes found him again he was watching your face with that same shaky focus; a hand lifted up as he touched his fingertips lightly over his pouting pink lips.

“Do you want me to get it or are you going to get it?”

You shook your head lightly. Whose self control was to be tested more at this moment? You pushed with your feet, instantly feeling the wet fabric cling to your body as you stood up. You’ve been around this earth long enough to know that this shirt, while it gave the illusion of cover while dry, was now nothing more than sheer silk draped over you like a marble statue of your bare body.

His eyes were wild and he bit down hard on his finger with his white teeth as he took from what you gave him.

It all felt lost. All of the resistance and denial had been fruitless.

You stepped out of the tub and walked a wet path to the cabinet he had pointed to. Inside you found an assortment of high end shampoos and soaps. You blindly grabbed at them. You weren’t familiar with any of these brands.

When you returned, you’d placed all of the bottles on the floor beside the tub. His hands tightly gripped the sides of the porcelain and he watched you with vividly desperate eyes. He seemed to be breathing much too hard for someone who was supposed to be relaxing in a warm bath.

You felt done. You no longer wanted to play this stupid game anymore. Your fingertips found the hem of the wet tshirt and you gripped and pulled it up; struggling a bit as it clung to your skin and when you’d finally pulled it over your head it dropped with a heavy plop down at your feet.

Baekhyun closed his eyes and his head rolled back. He ran his hand over the length of his face and you heard a low sound escape from deep within his chest cavity.

“Can I come back inside with you like this?”

He rubbed his face roughly and you heard a sharp intake of breath. Through the clear water you could see just how affected he was. He was tense all over and just as aroused as you were; only his arousal you could see.

“The second you touch me, it’s over,” he whispered through gritted teeth. His fingers flexed out in your direction and then he stopped, closing his hand and making a tight fist as he shook his head back and forth. He was still breathing too hard and the longer you stood here outside of the water the more your skin cooled and prickled. You felt the goosebumps run down your spine; your skin tightened and your nipples hardened.

“I am making myself as clear as I possibly can,” he was speaking with his eyes open wide on you, “the second you touch me, I am done being the strong one.”

“I’ll let you use me. I want you to. If you want to fuck me then I’m going to let you,” his words came out through labored breaths, “because I can’t — I can’t be that strong.”

You had already made your decision; long before you’d first joined him in this bathtub, you’d lost this battle long ago. The best you could manage was a shrug. The best you could offer was a step into the warm water in the center of the tub. You could feel his eyes like a burning flame warming every bit of your skin and you made no attempts to avoid his skin as you moved inside the water.

Shamelessly you moved closer to him. He was watching you with his teeth biting down on his bottom lip. You reached a hand down for a bottle of shampoo, and as you did it, you slipped even closer to where he sat on the far edge.

“Do you want me to wash your hair?”

Baekhyun’s lips were frozen shut. He did not answer your question but his eyes narrowed and he watched as you moved even closer to him. It only took one hand on his shoulder — only took your feather light fingertips connecting to the warm flushed skin of his chest and his hands moved off the tub and he surged into you in one fluid motion.

A plastic shampoo bottle clattered to the floor. A big wave of water sloshed over the edge of the tub when he leaned forward and wrapped both arms tightly around your waist and he pulled you into him. Your legs bent at the knees and you found yourself firmly pulled onto his lap. You felt the connection with him there. Thank god the water had washed away some of the substantial wetness between your legs because the desire you felt for him was embarrassingly obvious. Still with your legs parted so and his hardness pressing against you he slipped around within your mess so easily.

His face was angled as he looked up at you. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders and his palms ran down from your waist to your thighs, digging hard into your skin below the water. You felt tinges if it, that desperation that was surging through your veins. You wanted him. It didn’t feel like enough to kiss him. You did it anyway. It didn’t feel quite enough to inhale your air directly from his parted lips. You wanted more. You needed him inside of you. It was a craving that took over your every thought. An obsession that shook you..

You lifted your hips; his hands dug harder into your skin until you felt pain where each of his fingertips sunk in deep enough to bruise. Your hand slipped into the water into the space between your bodies and you felt the firmness of him. You wrapped your fingers around him. He was so hard. He whined into your lips and he trembled and shook when touched him.

You felt desperate when you guided him into you and you sank down slowly, taking him inside — relishing in the tightness with which his arms held onto you as you did it. And then you were inundated. Your eyes were greedy even if the sensations of him filling you made your eyelids heavy, you had to look at him; you needed to see his face.

His eyes were closed so tight and his mouth hung open. He had stopped breathing when you took him in fully. He held his breath and he was frozen in stunning beauty.

You had to touch him. With your fingertips you touched his soft face; you traced the outline of the spray of eyelashes below his closed eye; brushed the tip of your index finger over his eyebrow; then down the bridge of his nose and oh his lips…his pretty pink lips that gave just below your touch, lips pursed into your touch and parted and his soft wet tongue that peeked out; his straight white teeth that nibbled. You felt all of him with fingertips first, with your lips next and you had to tell him — you had to tell him just how desperate you had been.

“I needed you,

my baby

,” you whispered into his ear; a breath hitched inside your throat causing a stutter in your words. He heard you though. A whining sound came from the back of his throat when you said it.

That heightened desperation you felt tightened all of your muscles around him and your fingers dug hard into the smooth skin on his back and with your other hand you threaded fingers through his hair, raking your fingernails along his scalp as you gasped in another breath to speak again, “I couldn’t stand it. I was wrong before. I need you inside of me like this. I’d rather die than be apart from you. I only need you.”

The addiction had taken your mind and made you ungovernable. It had compelled your tongue and pushed these dangerous words deep into his ears and you could see the effects of them all over him. His breaths puffed out in languished bursts; he was all tension throughout his body and although he tried, he couldn’t keep his eyes open on you as you moved over him.

He felt so good to have inside of you but he sounded even better. His barely contained mewls and grunts, the unsteady whines and deep and throaty moans that came from him must be what heaven sounded like.

You watched his pretty face up close. His eyelids fluttered and the soft pink hue in his cheeks and soft lips illuminated his beauty. He licked his lips. He breathed with his mouth open and his soft wet tongue caught in between his white teeth. He bit down on his lip and his rough breaths huffed out of his nose in short bursts. He was trembling. He was shaking with each labored breath. The occasional glances of his pretty eyes on your face, his focus was being forcefully taken by the feeling of you and he tried to fight it. He tried to keep his eyes open but try as he might, they rolled back, they drifted closed — again and again. You recognized that he was struggling for control of himself, but oh, the way he slipped, the way he backslid, the way he was lost — only because of you — he succumbed.

You craved this. His weakness was you. You and the things you did to him.

“Tell me again,” his quiet kisses coaxed and his tongue slipped along the wet skin of your breast, up your neck where his mouth begged with his quiet plea, “please, say it again to me.”

You wanted him carved into your skin.

You wanted his fire to ignite your bones and burn you to ash.

You wanted him forever.

You were trembling; this love had you vibrating all over.

“I only need you,” you whispered into his open mouth that pulled into a smile, “just you,

my love

.” He was shaking with you and his breathing was changing. A sharp inhale — short stuttering exhales. You could feel him when he pushed his heat inside of you and the bursts of warmth filled you and spilled over your edges. You overflowed with him.

Elusive breaths were chased and you still clung to him; feeling much colder on your back and shoulders as you caught your breath at last. It seemed this water had lost its warmth; as long as you both had been here. You could make out the cloudiness that had once been this crystal clear bath water below your bodies and of course the sex was to blame.

You’d both been so very bad at keeping away from each other that you let out a kind of hopeless laugh that pulled his eyes open to look into your face.

“We didn’t even last the whole day,” you lifted a palm to lay over your mouth and you giggled, ignoring the way he hissed when he felt your laughter from the inside. The mess did not matter here. Everything would wash away.

You were being moved; being pulled, wet and naked and on wobbling legs through the vast bathroom to a shower with the echoing sounds of a bathtub draining behind you. You flinched when he pulled you in and closed the shower door and just pulled on a handle that began a gentle stream of water that ran over both of your heads from the ceiling. The water was warm. You’d expected it to be cold at first but the water here came out already at the perfect temperature and it came from all over the slotted ceiling above you.

This place was magic. Nearly as magical as the man who was bubbling up a loofah and closing in on you with it so he could rub the scented bubbles all over your body for you. You’d cleaned up with him after sex at your place before so you’d expected that maybe he would hand you the soap or hand you the shampoo to use, but today felt strangely different. Today his hands were involved. Today he was slipping his soap covered palms over the surfaces of your skin himself and when you turned around and closed your eyes, you leaned your head back into his shoulder simply soaking in the achingly intimate glide of his slow-traveling hands over your shoulders; over your breasts; over your belly and when he moved his hands between your legs washing away all traces of him that had filled you in the bath earlier you inhaled the smallest shuttering gasp for air. You’d never been treated with such tenderness in your entire life and the gentle touches of his fingertips made that same ache rise up inside of your chest, giving your once steady and easy breathing a new challenge.

You were struggling to explain this feeling that surged inside of you. Once again, it felt like so much more than something that could be described with like short four letter words like

want

or

need

or even

love.

Those words weren't enough for this. This was unnamed and unexplored; uncharted and unknown.

The first time he spoke again was after the shower. Long after drying you off with thick fluffy towels and wrapping you up in an oversized bathrobe that matched the one he wrapped himself in.

“You’ll stay with me tonight?” You ran fingers through his wet hair over his forehead and his brown eyes opened when he asked the question.

You didn’t have anything here. You had no makeup for tomorrow, no clean clothes to wear to work. He probably had a toothbrush and you could sleep without clothes if you had to, but what about underwear? Your head ticked to the side and you looked into his face with a small frown on your lips.

“And work tomorrow?”

His tongue moved around inside of his mouth; you saw the movement in his jaw and he pulled his lips inward, lightly biting down before releasing them with a small pout. He wasn’t speaking and his eyes weren’t holding yours with as much commitment as he usually held them with and you knew this man by now to know he was working up to something.

When his eyes narrowed and he looked off somewhere beyond you with his lips pulling tight as he did it, you knew something was up.

“Uhh,” he said. His gaze bounced to your expecting face lightly before he looked away again and bit down on his lips once more.

“Baekhyun?”

“Uhh — okay, don't freak out.”
His head dipped. He lifted a hand and rubbed over his closed eyes with his ring finger and inhaled a breath through his nose.

“So—” you heard him clear his throat and he had taken a small step back and away from you. His eyes, when they opened again he was again looking over your head, in some direction behind you. You were halfway through the enormous bathroom near his closet. The closet itself was like its own enormous room. These tiny words were so inadequate in describing this place of his.

“—so…I might have gotten you some things already…” he had a wince on his face. His hands had traveled down the length of your arms and he was gripping your wrists with his fingers.

You couldn't be sure that it wasn’t to keep you from running away.

He was talking again. So many more words were tumbling out, “…not that I expected you to come or to stay here…I mean—”

“But, why not though? I mean, stay over at your place all the time, right? And — and you gave me a toothbrush and I have left a few things there for when I stay over there, so this — like — makes perfect sense if you really think about it — please, don't freak out,”

He was pulling you around in a circle, leading you into the closet. He opened up one of the cabinet doors and there on the shelves you noticed several items, identical to those that you used at home, all brand new. You saw your toothpaste, deodorant, makeup in exact shades and colors. He even got the same eyeliner and mascara that you used every day for work. As you began looking further you noticed packages of the same style and size panties and socks you wore, some bras too in your size. Even make up removal wipes were identical; the hair ties and hair brush, styling tools still in their retail boxes. It looked like the contents of your bathroom had been transported here to this cabinet.

“ — but I kinda sorta looked around at the things you use and I bought those same things for here. I mean, just-just in case you wanted to stay over…you can stay.” He was leaning against the frame of the open cabinet door, looking down at your lips as he spoke his many, many words to you explaining this entire cabinet he kept in this home dedicated only to you.

“I hadn’t really intended to get so much, but once I got started I couldn't stop — oh my god, I sound super insane. Oh please don't freak out. I’m worried you’re about to freak out.”

In the drawers below you found even more new stuff. Once you got started looking, your hands reached for the next; pulling it open to find that this seemed to go so much deeper than just one cabinet.

There were things you didn’t own at home but were very obviously intended for you to wear here. Some pajamas. Some comfy pants, sweaters, shorts, and shirts. All of the seasons seemed to be covered. Your fingers were itchy with curiosity and when you opened the sliding closet door beside this cupboard you saw even more clothing; new items with tags still on them. He made a noise, a sudden squeak when you had opened this closet door as if he hadn’t intended for you to get to this part yet.

There were few professional outfits that were just your style and size but definitely not within your price range. You recognized some of these brands from high end fashion magazines. Even more things were tucked into the bottom of this closet. You could see boxes of expensive shoes that you could never afford. There were luxury handbags too that had to be worth thousands upon thousands of dollars. Louis Vuitton, Hermès, Burberry, Versace, Chanel, Gucci, the variety was as insane as the price tags had to have been.

Beside you, Baekhyun was making a groaning sound from deep within his gut.

“Oh my god,” he whispered to himself before he started speaking again. The words came out so much slower now than the rapid word-vomit he was releasing a few seconds ago.

“Okay so…those—” he inhaled and exhaled through his mouth as he pointed a shaking finger down at the spread of brands and logos.

His face scrunched up into a wince, ““those are just…gifts?”

The last word came out as a question. Even he couldn't believe he had done this now that he was saying it outloud. His fingers had begun frantically pushing at the closet door; closing it back up as he tried his best to hide this very odd truth that you had just discovered about him; your ridiculous and over-the-top boyfriend.

You were pretty sure you had seen a tv show like this. An all-powerful and much feared supervillain had fallen in love with a weak and powerless woman; kidnapped her and locked her up inside his tower giving her everything she could ever want or dream of and tried his best to keep her forever; a prisoner, trapped by his side.

“Baekhyun,” you said as softly as you could, “

…baby

?” You added sweetly with just enough brevity in your voice to let him know that you weren’t upset about this; but you did also thoroughly and completely recognize the ridiculousness of this entire situation, “Have I been kidnapped? Tell me the truth.”

His laughter came out in a quick snort, and he inhaled and covered his mouth with his hand as he tried to stifle the laughter that shook his chest. You were reaching into the drawers, grabbing the short and comfy sleep shorts you found there and the matching sleep top, grabbing a pair of panties and a comfortable bra from the stack of new items and you began removing tags from everything so you could put them on.

“You maniac! Is that door out there locked? Is there any way for me to get out of here? I’m trapped here aren't I? Wait a minute…you didn’t slip something like a marriage license into the stack of work papers I signed at work today, did you?” You had a smile on your face as you said it all and he was shaking his head with eyes closed and an audible hopelessness in his giggles. His face was pink and you heard him reining it in so he could inhale a breath and explain himself.

His hands were up defensively; his long fingers waved in front of him as he shook his head.

“You aren’t trapped. You are free to leave. I’ll take you home right now if you want, or you can just walk out and take a taxi. And I promise we aren’t married yet.”

When he stopped speaking he did so abruptly and the light smile on his face flattened out as you stared at his face, unable to contain the look of surprise he must have seen there.

Yet

.

Yet?

It was that word at the end that had you so completely thrown for a loop. You had not expected to hear that word and having it come out so very casually from his lips, admittedly had you feeling quite taken aback. You felt frozen by it and something about Baekhyun having said it himself seemed to have had a similar effect on him as well.

He cleared his throat and closed his eyes and inhaled a breath that trembled on the way in, “I mean we aren’t married.” His eyes were still closed and you saw his lips form a silent curse word that he mouthed under his breath but did not say out loud.

You know that if he had said it, he had been thinking it at some point. You knew sometimes deep down inside the back of your head at your sleepiness and most vulnerable moments you had also considered what a life as Mrs. Byun Baekhyun might be like. But you were more of a realist than to allow your silly lovestruck mind to dwell on such things with careless and wanton abandon.

“What else is there?” Your question came out as a quiet curiosity more than any sort of accusation. “I know there must be more. Just show me now while we are doing this.”

His eyes were on you and he took one step backward as his hand lifted and he pulled the next sliding closet door open.

“Listen,” he began. It sounded like he had lost something. “I know, more than anyone else, I know that there is something wrong with me when it comes to you. I feel sick inside sometimes. Every single one of my waking thoughts is consumed by you. Sleeping doesn’t help either because you are there, every single time, so I wake up and I think of you instead of sleep.”

This closet had an evening gown. It was easily the most beautiful garment you had ever seen in person with your own two eyes.

“I have almost zero self control if it’s about you. I know…I know, shouldn’t, but

goddammit

,” he opened a small door inside the closet beside the dress and pulled out a flat sliding drawer, pushed a button that illuminated some lighting that brought out the fire of a thousand sparkling stones from the pieces of jewelry that lay inside this drawer. It was dazzling. It was extravagant. It took what was left of the breath you had in your lungs.

“What is this dress even for? And the jewelry? Baek—”

He shook his head back and forth, turned the overhead lighting off with a click and he closed up the drawers and closets.

“I know what you’ll say.

Baekhyun,”

his name came from his own lips with his eyes flipped up and a silly lift in his voice. This was his impression of what you sounded like. For the record, it sounded nothing like you. “

Return it all. Go to therapy.”

You weren’t going to say that. Still, as long as he knew he was crossing all sorts of boundaries with his wild and unrestricted behavior that was plenty. As long as he knew that you neither expected any of this, or needed it, that was enough for you.

“I don't need stuff. It’s all very beautiful and you are incredibly insightful and every single thing you have picked with me in mind is gorgeous and perfect and amazing.”

“But it’s not what I need.” You emphasized the last thing again, just to make it clear in his heart. “I only need you. Just you.”

You reached for his hand and wrapped your fingers around his palm, giving him a good shake for emphasis. His brown eyes watched your face and a tiny smile grew on his lips. You leaned into him and kissed his pretty lips and he kissed you back; squeezing his fingertips around your hand as he did it.

“And maybe these underwear,” you said after you pulled back from his mouth; lifting your other hand, waving the panties with a smile and absolutely delighting in the way his own gorgeous smile grew wider on his face.

“But don't buy anything else. I’m serious. I don't need anything. Whatever you have ordered, or whatever is still coming, cancel it. It’s all too much.”

“Now, come on,” you said after pulling on enough clothing to make you feel like you were finally ready to leave this bathroom, “give me a tour of your house so I know how to find the exit. I cannot believe I’ve been kidnapped by such a crazy and sexy man. How ever will I escape?”

“Ahhh…

Noona

,” he whined through a nasally laugh and he was quickly pulling on a plain shirt and sweatpants onto his body as he followed your journey through his home. “You’re staying the night, right?”

His question echoed out behind you and you laughed at how hopeful he sounded. Of course you would. You had everything you needed right here; mostly this man.

“Right?” He was saying again as he reached for your hand and pulled you in the direction of the kitchen, which you remembered from when you both walked over here.

“Just tonight,” you said, “if I stay here too long I might forget what freedom tastes like.”

His steps paused their forward motion and he spun to look back at you, pulling hard on your hand, making your steps stumble and you collided into his chest. His hands were around your waist and your feet left the ground as you were lifted when he tightened his hold around you.

“Just don't forget what I taste like when you’re away from me,” his whisper was hot against your surprised lips seconds before his mouth opened up, pulling your bottom lip deep within his own mouth he kissed you deeply right here in this long hallway of this enormous home until you had to pull away from him to gasp for air. You had been backed against the wall and a sound caught your ears and pulled your focus somewhere further down the hallway closer to the kitchen area where you both had been headed.

It was almost as if you heard a throat clearing and you gasped out in surprise with the horrific thought that someone else besides the two of you might be inside this home right now. You were tapping him lightly on his shoulder and he pulled his face up from where his lips had been nipping along your neck to see what the urgency might be.

“I heard something, is someone else here?” His eyes looked into yours and he lifted his eyebrows with a shrug that didn’t have nearly enough alarm in it for your liking.

“Someone cleared their throat.” His eyes widened and his mouth opened knowingly.

“Ah,” he mouthed quietly in response to you.

Ah? Ah??

“Yes?” He said louder, angling his voice toward where you were certain the sound had come from.

A person. A real life human being; a whole-ass adult fucking person slowly emerged from around a corner with their head hung low. They were bent at the waist and had a genuine apology evident on their voice.

You gasped out in shock. You could feel your heart racing inside of your throat.

“Baekhyun, what the f— someone was here? The whole time we were — The whole time?” You could hear the panic in your voice as you confirmed what you suspected the second you heard his casual response. Your breathing was too fast and you felt frantic with this revelation. But Baekhyun, he wasn’t at all surprised to see this person standing in his home. It took all you had in you not to turn around and hide your face. You felt like your entire head was burning with embarrassment. You had just been making out like a couple of kids in love in this hallway, fully believing you both to be completely and utterly alone and there had been someone here in this home the entire time?

It was a man. He was dressed in a suit. Despite your utter shock to see him standing there, he did not in any way look out of place. In fact, he looked like he belonged there just as much as the elaborate furniture you had passed in the sitting room belonged in this fancy-ass home. He kept his eyes down on the floor the entire time he was addressing Baekhyun.

“Mr. Byun, My deepest apologies for the interruption, Sir. You have a visitor. Mr. Park Chanyeol. He insists. I did tell him you were occupied. Please

Madam

, accept my most sincere apologies,” The strange man lifted a hand to his chest and bowed a regretful face in your direction before he turned back to Baekhyun to speak again, “Mr. Park says it is an emergency and you were not answering your phone.”

He nodded his head once to the man who bowed his head and turned on his heels. Baekhyun’s hands ran over the empty pockets of his sweatpants, “Oh, I don't even know where my phone is,” he mumbled to himself.

“

Baby

, can you give me just a minute? You can wait for me in the kitchen and we can have some snacks while we do the tour,” he grinned and scrunched up his nose with a little head shake.

You had to admit, you were curious about what kind of non-work related emergencies Baekhyun had to deal with in his personal life, but your heart had eventually settled down, the butler, or whoever that man was had vanished like he never existed in the first place, and so you simply nodded your head; tamping down your curiosity enough to follow him into the kitchen.

“

Mimi

sent us some strawberries,” he whispered, “I saw her packing them.”

A booming voice echoed throughout the long hallway that you knew led toward the front doorway. You remembered the large atrium where the entryway had been and the owner of the voice seemed to be taking full advantage of the acoustics there.

“Hey Baek!” The voice boomed. Beside you, Baekhyun’s face changed. He inhaled a long breath and closed his eyes up tight with a small groan escaping from the back of his throat. “Byun Baekhyun! Why aren’t you answering your phone?!”

“I’ll be right back.” He was gone so quickly and from the sound of the voice, Baekhyun’s visitor was making his way closer to where you both stood in this kitchen.

Your curiosity was about as high as you could stand, but still you forced yourself to focus on your task at hand. Finding

Mimi’s

strawberries in this fridge.

You pulled out the bundles that you had helped carry inside and began untying and unwrapping things. Baekhyun must have intercepted his visitor by now and you could make out occasional words of what they were speaking about to each other. They weren’t that far away, or maybe Mr. Park’s voice was just that loud.

You could, though, hear Baekhyun’s abrupt question to the man.

“Dude. What the hell? I thought you were in Malta for another month,” Baekhyun asked. Judging from his tone, this was not a business meeting. This man was a close enough friend for him to have knowledge of the man’s schedule and to be questioning any deviations from that known schedule. Plus he clearly had called the man

dude

. This was his friend. You pulled the box of strawberries carefully out of the bundle and placed it quietly on the marble countertop.

“Why aren’t you answering your phone? I’ve been calling you all night.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Bullshit. Busy with what.”

Baekhyun’s answer was spoken too quietly for you to make it out and you took a step closer to the hallway and angled your head.

You heard the low timber of the other man’s booming voice as he let out a belly laugh; clearly highly amused at whatever Baekhyun had said to him.

“Chanyeol, shut the fuck up. Lower your voice.” It was whispered harshly in that familiar voice of your boyfriend.

“No way. No fucking way. You liar. You’re so full of shit.” The loud man was laughing and made no attempts to be quieter. You were weirdly thankful that the man was so loud because you really wanted to hear what they were talking about.

“Hey, seriously though. Let me stay here for the rest of the month.”

“No.”

“What? Why?”

“Go to a hotel.”

“Don't tell me…do you have a girl over? Baekhyun you

asshole

, do you have a girl over right now?”

“I’ll pay for your hotel for a month. Just shut up and leave. Just go. Here, take it.” You pictured Baekhyun handing his friend a black credit card and you wished you could just look at them both instead of having to imagine what was happening in that hallway.

“Oh my god. You do. You

slut

.”

“Wait a minute, but if you have someone over now, what happened to the other one?”

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun’s voice came out low and menacing, “don't.”

“What about that

Noona

; the manager; the love of your life; the only one for you; the one you are going to marry? What about my future sister in law and the future mother of your children? Baekhyun, don't tell me you were rejected.”

You weren't sure what had possessed you or had actually moved your feet, but you found yourself standing right beside the long hallway and when you simply could not stand it any more you peeked your head around the corner just enough for your eyes to see the two man having this very loud discussion that was clearly about you; Baekhyun’s Noona; Baekhyun’s Manager; the love of his life; amongst other things he had clearly proclaimed to his noisy and very tall busy-bodied friend Chanyeol.

Baekhyun was standing with one hand on his forehead, another on his waist, his head angled down with his eyes closed. Based on his body language he looked very done with the tall man standing in front of him who’s laugh had taken hold of his whole body as he bent at the waist and guffawed loudly enough for every single soul in this entire house to be able to hear him.

You caught hold of Baekhyun’s eyes and you saw him throw his head back in defeat as he inhaled a deep breath. He lifted a single hand about waist level and held it with his palm up in your direction.

“Hello,” you called out into the space the two men occupied and you lifted a friendly hand to wave in their direction. The tall man’s laughter stopped immediately, he straightened his spine, dropped his chin as he bit down on his lips and turned nearly completely pink right before your eyes. “Hi, I’m the Manager

Noona

.”

“Oh my god, she’s real,” you heard him whisper to Baekhyun who wasn’t at all looking at his friend but rather had his eyes focused on the wall directly in front of him without any traces of amusement anywhere on his face at all. Chanyeol was smiling wide at you and he was taking a few steps in your direction with his waist bent and his hand outstretched as he closed the distance.

You heard a listless and defeated introduction from your boyfriend.

“Chanyeol, this is my girlfriend.”

“Noona

, this is my dumbass best friend, Chanyeol.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

He was tall and handsome, friendly and inviting. He shook your hand with animated enthusiasm and a wide toothy smile. Behind him, your boyfriend, Baekhyun stood with his arms folded over his chest, tapping his foot on the shiny marble tile floor. He cleared his throat noisily as his best friend Chanyeol shook your hand for what was going on now for too long. The smile on his face was almost manic. This guy’s energy matched his volume.

“Chanyeol can’t stay long. He’s got other things to do.”

“I don’t have anything to do. Do I smell

Halmi’s

food?”

Baekhyun’s face was passive and blank. You recognized the hesitation with the way he opened his lips and inhaled to speak and then closed his lips up again as he looked down at the floor below his bare feet. When he finally did answer, it had taken him a while.

“Yeah, Chanyeol. We went to see

Mimi

.”

Chanyeol’s forward steps hesitated and he paused mid-way between the long hallway that Baekhyun still occupied and the open kitchen space you stood in feeling underdressed and unprepared to suddenly be meeting Baekhyun’s best friend. You didn’t have a speck of makeup on but thank God you’d opted to wear a bra under this soft sleeping set because without it there would likely be no mysteries as to what you both had been up to before he showed up.

Chanyeol seemed to react curiously to the news that you’d both visited Baekhyun’s

Mimi

today. You did notice that Baekhyun didn’t ask if Chanyeol had had dinner nor did he make any offers to share food with the man.

He looked into Baekhyun’s face, his own eyes wide with a look of surprise that you didn’t quite understand. This must not have been about the food.

“You took her to

Halmi

?” Chanyeol asked with a step snuck closer to where Baekhyun stood with hands in his pockets.

Baekhyun nodded his head and Chanyeol turned back to look into your face.

You smiled in response, not quite grasping the significance of this detail that Chanyeol seemed to fixate on.

“Oh,” Chanyeol said quietly, not directing this at you but back toward the shorter man standing behind him.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said, agreeing to something unspoken between the two of them.

“

Mimi

was very sweet,” you had to speak. This whole exchange was so cryptic and mysterious you could hardly stand it.

“She gave us some strawberries.” You said looking down at the container stuffed with bright red berries feeling just a little bit silly with the scant details you added to the story. You didn’t have nearly enough preparation for any of this and you honestly felt left out of their conversation about what you meeting

Mimi

seemed to imply to both of them.

Chanyeol responded with a bright face; matching your small polite smile with his own full grin, “Did she? She liked you then.”

“I liked her too,” you said softly to yourself. He was watching your face for a while with a pensive look before his smile returned to his face and he leaned a long torso beside you, propping himself on an elbow on the countertop.

“Well it’s very nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you,

Noon—

, uhh” his eyebrows furrowed and turned his focus to Baekhyun, “What do I call her? Is it too soon for

Sister-in-law

? I get to be your best man right? How long have you been dating? A half-year? If you took her to see

Halmi

then I’m going to say

Sister-in-law.

You have definitely been talking

about

her for at least a year.”

That didn't sound right, Baekhyun had only been working as your assistant for a few months. Sure you’d worked with him on a previous project but you’d had next to no interaction with the man, even if he seemed to remember you well enough. The more Chanyeol talked — and remarkably, he hadn’t quit yet — the more he sounded like an unreliable source. There were just so many words to this man and not nearly enough useful ones.

Baekhyun had joined you both in the kitchen and some sort of whispered exchange was happening that you decided you’d just let them have. Of course it was happening right beside you and you could hear everything they said.

“A month? No way, less than that? Well, what were you all up to here before I came? Is this your first date—-Ahhh,” Chanyeol let out a loud yelp of pain. Baekhyun had pinched him somewhere.

“Okay. I’m going…I’m going, settle down,” Chanyeol finally said with a deep frown. He was rubbing a palm over his ribs.

But he had turned to talk to you again. He’d said one thing while he actively did something else. He was fascinating to watch. Like a spinning top that once it got started just could not stop.

“I guess you already know that he’s crazy about you,” he said with his eyes wide and he giggled as he took a big step away from where Baekhyun reached out another hand with slim pinching fingers extended and grasping.

“Like crazy, crazy. Not cute, silly, rom-com crazy either — you know, for a while I was sure you were a symptom. I was convinced of it.” He took another big step away from your boyfriend who had switched to swatting. You heard the occasional smack that echoed out when a swinging hand made contact with a person’s back.

His stream-of-consciousness rambling was entertaining at least and you didn’t try that hard to hide your laughter, which only fueled more talking. You even nodded your head. Yes, you knew how much Baekhyun loved you. Yes, you also shared the same feelings. You’d already seen the closet full of things he bought — the troubling lack of self control he had was evident. But for you too, you’d already known first hand just how impossible it had been to keep yourself away from him.

Perhaps you were both just insane when it came to each other. Maybe you didn't want to be sane when it came to Baekhyun.

Folie à deux. A madness shared by two.

“Hey. I have things to warn her about,” Chanyeol was complaining at the unfair attempts to silence him, “like if

Halmi

calls you saying she’s on her deathbed and you have to get married right away before she dies, don't believe her, that’s just a trick. She did that to me once. That woman is built like an ox. I talked to her doctor myself.”

“If you don’t leave right now I’m canceling the card I gave you and I’m going to call your mom and tell her where she can find you.”

You didn't think it was possible but Chanyeol finally closed up his lips and pulled a black rectangle of plastic out of the pocket of his hoodie. The silence was temporary — just long enough for him to look down at the credit card he’d gotten from his best friend in exchange for going away.

“The only reason I’m using this is so she doesn’t know how to find me. I will not go on any more blind dates. She picks the weirdest girls. I wonder if my new

Sister-in-law

has a sister or a cousin as pretty as she is. You know, Baekhyun, I always thought you didn’t have any game. It turns out you’re just picky as hell.”

He was actually being pushed toward the front door but the words just kept tumbling out of the man.

“5-stars is fine right?”

“4 stars.”

“5 stars, come on.”

“3 stars. Holiday Inn Express.”

“Holiday Inn — How do you even know what that is? I’m staying at Banyan.”

“Chanyeol, I don't care where you go. Just go.”

“That counts as Banyan permission.”

A door clicked closed and there was an instant oppressive silence that filled the home. You could hear the quiet footsteps as Baekhyun made his way back into the kitchen and you watched for the moment when his pretty face appeared back in front of your eyes.

He had a tiny smile on his lips when he came back into the Kitchen and his footsteps were sluggish.

“Well that was fun,” you said softly as you bit down on your lips to control the grin on your face. He made a small sound like a single chuckle pushed through his nose.

“So that was my friend Chanyeol.” He said with his eyebrows lifted up high on his face and his eyes glancing down over the big bowl of strawberries you had been busying yourself with. You felt weirdly grateful that you had something to do with your hands during that entire exchange and after a little bit of snooping around this massive kitchen you even managed to find a hidden trash can in one of the side cabinets at the end of this kitchen island. You’d dropped all of the green tops there and the berries were washed and ready for a trip around this big house.

“He seems like he’s very fun at parties.” Chanyeol had been a lot. Chatty and pushy and loud, but incredibly sweet and inviting. You knew instantly that you would always be able to strike up a conversation with him easily, despite how intense he had been. Baekhyun inhaled a deep breath and his lips pulled wide as he squinted his eyes.

“Do you still like me?” His big brown eyes prodded against your own and you bit down on your bottom lip as you nodded your head up and down twice. You held the bowl of berries in one arm and you reached out your other hand to grab ahold of Baekhyun’s, slipping your fingers in between his and you squeezed.

“Do you ever just hang out in the naked lady’s room?” You wanted to see the house, but you kind of wanted to sit down somewhere with him and enjoy the fruit first. The bowl was rather heavy and you didn’t really feel like lugging it around through the entire place. Perhaps you could both start with a little picnic there.

Baekhyun had been watching your face with a sort of dreamy expression but when your question registered, you caught the shift of his eyes as he looked away from you for a second, glanced around the empty kitchen space without any actual focus and he looked back at you again with his eyes narrowing some.

It was a sudden shift.

“Why? Did Chanyeol say something?” His question was quiet with a very light panic just below the surface and it pulled a surprised laugh from your chest with simply how guilty his expression had turned in an instant, “because I haven’t done that since I was going through puberty.” You laughed harder, having to let go of his hand so you could cover your mouth to quiet the surprised laughter that erupted from you.

He had a smile growing on his face as he spoke of this and he was looking up into the ceiling with an inhale of air into his lungs, “but yeah, back then I used to spend a lot of time in that room with her,” he was laughing now with his mouth open and his face had turned pink with the belly laughs.

You couldn't help your laughter. It was your own fault for asking this question. You weren’t sure what kind of response you had expected but it hadn’t been his silly confession about his middle school sexual awakening and self discovery.

“Do you still like me?” He asked this again through the deep giggles that had taken him over. You nodded your head as a response and lifted your hand to run your fingers over the back of his head slipping them through his hair. You relished in the way his laughter quieted down when you did it. His scalp was warm below your fingertips and his eyes rolled closed with your sudden touch.

You still wanted to see it up close so you grabbed him by the hand and pulled him, headed toward the room with the statue so you could look at the beautiful artwork. You’d never had the chance to see something so precious before.

It was just as magnificent as you thought it would be. The room was round with a domed ceiling and the overhead lighting shone brightly on only the marble statue. The rest of the room had a softer dim glow that felt purposeful in its design, making the focus here only about her. You set the fruit down off to one side and Baekhyun took a seat on the floor beside the bowl and leaned against the wall with his hands folded quietly in his lap as you stood as close as you dared to this incredible work of art.

“She’s so beautiful,” you said in a quiet whisper as you looked up at the impeccable smoothness of her skin, trying your best to imagine the kind of care and precision that would go into carving something like this out of stone. It felt impossible. And yet here she stood in front of you with all of her intricate details from the waves of her hair made up of individual strands; her delicate arm lifted over her head; her nipples that stood erect over the soft mounds of her breasts; her belly button and the round bump in her belly where if she were alive, her life creating organs would hide; the swell of her hips and even the small dimples in her soft flesh that made her look so soft and so real. Even the expression on her face was sensual. Her thoughts only of her lover. That love eternally preserved on the tip of her tongue that sat just inside the hollow behind her parted lips.

You wondered about the emotions that such a piece of work would carry with it over the years and your heart swelled with the idea that maybe this woman actually existed once. Maybe she was adored by just one person, by her one person; adored enough to inspire the overwhelmingly all consuming, obsessive labor of love that it would take to create a masterpiece such as this.

“Can I touch her?” You pulled your eyes away long enough to ask your question. You’d been so transfixed by seeing this up close that you half expected for your words to pull him out of his own examination of the statue but you found Baekhyun’s eyes the second you turned to him. He wasn’t looking at the statue at all, but seemed to only have been watching you.

After a few seconds he nodded his head, “You can do anything you want,” he said.

You knew it was a rock. Your rational mind knew it, at least. But the way this looked, so real and life-like, as if it were made of warm flesh and bones, had what you knew in your mind and what you’d expected to feel under your fingertips at odds with each other. The cold temperature of the stone made you gasp when your fingertips touched the solid polished surface. You pressed against the stone, astonished that it had no give as flesh should have had.

You turned to him with amazement and delight evident on your face. But Baekhyun had a brilliantly wide smile on his own face that floored you. His eyes had pulled up into little moons making him look so damn beautiful you had to hold your breath and take a step back and away from all of the beauty you found yourself surrounded by in this place.

You had to sit down. Without having had a single sip of any alcohol, you felt overwhelmed and drunk.

You moved through the space to where he sat on the floor with his legs crossed and you took your place right beside him; your hip flush with his; your thigh touching his thigh; your arm warm against this arm and you leaned your head on his shoulder with the smallest contented sigh escaping from your lungs as you did it.

If you could bottle this feeling inside of you, surely it would change the world. If only you could hold it forever in the palm of your hand, surely you’d never ever let it go.

You felt the warmth of his head just above yours when he leaned onto you and when your hand squeezed around his bicep, the softness of his arm gave under your fingertips.

He was warm and real and alive here beside you. You could touch him just as easily as you touched the beautiful marble. You didn't even have to ask for permission first because he was your person. He was your love. And he responded to you. His hand landed over yours and he gave you a little squeeze. His warm palm rubbed over your bare knee and his fingertips flexed and dipped and pushed into the soft flesh of your inner thigh and your living flesh gave where his fingers touched.

“Can I keep you forever?” Your own voice surprised you. You hadn’t intended to say this outloud to him, but that drunk feeling had taken your common sense away from you. Once the words came out of your mouth, you pulled your lips closed and pressed the tips of your fingers tightly over your lips. You probably meant to only think this. You definitely didn’t intend to say it, but hearing the echo of those words you had just asked him and their heavy implication had your skin burning. Your heartbeat echoed noisily inside your eardrums. Not only were you surprised by your own words, but what shocked you more was just how much you really meant what you had just said.

Baekhyun’s movements, his thumb brushing lightly over your hand, and the other hand he lightly touching over your knee, even his steady in and out breathing, all of it had gone still.

You pulled your head off of his shoulder and he moved his head from where he had been resting on you. You felt downright silly for this intense reaction you were having, but you had just said something to him that made you feel so very vulnerable and exposed. But, god help you, you did actually mean it. You meant that you wanted him to be yours. Always. You meant that you never ever wanted him to say goodbye to you and you never wanted to say goodbye to him. You never wanted to be apart from him. You never wanted to sleep in a cold bed without him by your side and you felt absolutely insane knowing that you meant it.

Saying this out loud felt downright terrifying.

When you pulled your head away he looked at you and you looked at him; knowing for certain that the heat you felt all over your head would have made your cheeks flushed.

“Did you say that by accident?” He was tempering his response to your strong reaction. He was being your extremely observant and insightful Baekhyun.

“Yes,” you said softly, “but also no. I don’t know.” you added hopelessly as you closed your eyes, unable to stand how very much this man could tell from looking into your eyes.

“I meant it,” you began in about as soft a whisper as you could manage, “but then it felt like maybe I shouldn’t have told you that.”

“Why not tell me that?” His hand had moved and you felt his warm fingers laid out over the side of your face. He was pulling your face back up so you could look into his eyes again.

You blinked your eyes quickly, touching lightly and delicately into his eyes for only a few short moments at a time. “Just feels a little embarrassing that I said that. Seems like maybe I told you a secret,” you said.

“Is that your secret? Hmm?” His gentle words felt as soft as the pads of his fingertips that touched lightly along your jawline.

“Do you want to keep me forever?”

Your small head nod came with the smallest pull of your lips into a hopeless smile. You closed your eyes with the acknowledgment you gave him. You felt the softness of his lips land over your temple as he placed a delicate kiss on your flushed warm face.

“I think we might have a problem,” he said with his voice raising in volume just a touch. Just enough for your eyes to open and for you to look into the brown of his eyes for the meaning to his words.

Had you made a mistake with your confession? You felt a grain of doubt rest just at your surface, threatening to sink in.

“Because I also want to keep you forever, and I’m no good with keeping secrets.” Your slow exhale came from deep within your chest and when you opened your eyes you found him watching you from up close.

“We should both stop talking — before —” you cut yourself off suddenly, taking in a deep breath that you exhaled noisily instead of finishing your thought out loud. The threat of saying anything else that you knew should not be spoken was simply too powerful and so you reached across his waist for a strawberry; gripping the biggest one you felt under your fingertips and you brought it up to your lips for a bite into the juicy fruit.

It was sweet and it was delicious and just as you lifted the rest to your lips you saw him move as his mouth opened up over the half bitten strawberry you held in your fingers and he pulled it into his mouth. The tip of his tongue and his teeth lightly grazed your finger as he did it and you bit down on your bottom lip as you watched him chew and swallow all the while he kept his knowing eyes on you, simply lifting a single eyebrow as licked his lips. He made no efforts to convince you to continue saying what you and he both knew you had been saying.

“These are so sweet,” you grasped ahold of your excuse as you reached for another berry and he was silent as he watched you do it.

Baekhyun’s lips parted as if he was waiting for something from you.

The other half of one of your strawberries, or perhaps a kiss. You leaned into him and captured his pouty bottom lip in between your own, lightly sucking the softness of it into your mouth; tasting strawberries and tasting him.

When you pulled away from him his eyes were closed and he opened them slowly to watch your face again.

“Want another one?” You asked with a smile, purposefully not defining what you were offering while keeping your tone light and innocent.

He nodded his head. You lifted the strawberry to your lips, took a bite into it as you leaned into his waiting mouth. He took the other half between his teeth from your lips as you had intended and his wet lips pursed into your mouth with a kiss before you pulled your face away, chewing what was left of the sweet fruit..

You’d only had enough time to swallow when he leaned into you again, lifting both hands to your face to pull you into him for another kiss. This one was deeper and you felt held in place by his hands that pulled you into his open mouth. He tasted so good. It wasn’t just the strawberries, the man had a smell and a taste that sunk deep into the very center of you, making it impossible to pull away from him; making you want to taste him again and again.

His lips were pinker now, probably from the fruit. “You taste like strawberries,” you said with a smile and another small kiss.

“You’re doing an awful lot of talking for someone who just shut me up five minutes ago.” His voice was playful and with his fingertips, he rolled the fabric of your shirt back and forth absentmindedly.

“I didn’t just shut

you

up. I shut

both of us

up,” you defended and a scoff followed by a small chuckle erupted from him.

“Oh right. What was it again?” His eyes narrowed as he pretended to recall the exchange you’d just, quite expertly changed the subject away from.

“

We should both stop talking, before…before,”

he did his impression of you again and you felt the blood rush just under the skin of your scalp, the feeling exploding like fireworks under the surface of your skin and with it came a wave of goosebumps that traveled down your neck; down the center of your spine. The danger of this talk had returned again.

He had already warned you that he was bad at secrets and you knew how shoddy his self control was when it came to you.

“Before what?” He casually and unceremoniously plopped a strawberry into his mouth and chewed on it a few times.

“Before I go crazy and ask you to marry me and you go crazy and say yes?”

His words landed with a big splash against your chest; sending rippling waves outward that rocked you again and again, making you feel dizzy and seasick.

“Baek,” you said quietly, feeling every single bit of the seriousness of this conversation. You felt flush and warm all over and when you looked down at your bare legs you could see where your skin prickled and poked with goosebumps from how overwhelmed this kind of talking had made you feel.

“I want to keep you forever and you want to keep me forever,” he said, “isn’t that what that means?”

He wasn’t wrong.

He was brave enough to speak it outloud.

You inhaled the smallest gasp for air through your parted lips. It was all you could manage with his deep brown eyes looking into you like this. With him seeing you so clearly and knowing you so completely like this.

“Baekhyun, this is—” You couldn't find the words. Your mind felt too jumbled and he was watching you with a look of seriousness inside of his rapidly blinking wet eyes. Your focus was pulled down where inside his hands he fidgeted with a strawberry and it trembled inside his fingertips. His hands were shaking.

“Crazy?” He whispered and swallowed before speaking again, “I know,” his lips hung open and he puffed out a breath, “it is.”
His words labored through his whispered breaths. “I don't mean right now. It doesn't have to be tonight, or tomorrow, or next month. I’m just —”

“Don't say any more. If you ask me, I’ll say yes.” You’d closed your eyes and your hand had reached for his trembling hand to steady him. He didn’t need to be nervous about this with you. Even if you felt like you might float away with as much anxiety as you felt bubbling up inside of your stomach.

“You would say yes? Right now, you would say yes?” His fingertips wrapped tightly around your hand and you leaned forward to press your lips up against his. It was partly because of the love, but it was mostly to silence him, to keep him from talking about this any more. You didn’t have any desire to ever leave his side, but once either of you actually said it, it would become true. It would take on meaning. It would become fact.

You knew—you knew this was too fast. You knew this was crazy. You knew that taking this step would be fraught with obstacles that threatened to destroy the both of you. You knew how many challenges you both would face if you even dared to dream that this could be true for you with him. You knew it deep down inside your bones, and yet — and yet your heart was racing, running away by itself with its own little fantasies that maybe, maybe he wouldn't listen to you.

Maybe he would ask.

Maybe you wanted him to. You wanted him to want to ask you and you wanted to say yes.

“I love you,” he said softly into the small space that existed between your lips and his, “do you love me?”

You nodded your head and looked up into his brown eyes. Your ears had a hum that sounded out, it seemed to be coming from somewhere within your chest. Baekhyun was moving, he pushed his crossed legs apart and wrapped his legs around you where you sat beside him on this floor. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and you felt encased fully within the secure warmth of his body.

“I love you,” he said again. Your saliva pooled inside your mouth and you swallowed it away, “do you love me?” A breath caught in your throat and you felt dizzy without the oxygen.

“

Baby

, do you love me? Do you love me?”

You were nodding your head again, opening your lips, desperately searching for your voice and begging that you could find it to answer him.

“Yes,” you said through a borrowed breath.

He was watching your face when you answered.

You felt drunk on the deep brown color you found in his eyes. You felt possessed by the adoration that flowed through your veins for him.

“

Baby

-”

He was looking into your face when he did it —when he said it.

“Will you marry me?”

“Let’s get married. Hmm?”

“I only want you.”

“I only need you.”

“I only love you.”

Your lungs had quit. Your heartbeat was drowned out by the loud humming sound that filled your head. Every cell inside of your body vibrated and you knew — you knew that if he hadn’t been wrapped around you so entirely you might not have been able to stay down on this floor. You might have just floated up and evaporated into lighter than air filled bubbles, carried by the wind until each and every one popped and you ceased to exist entirely.

You were spinning and spinning inside of your own head.

“Yes.” Your lips and your tongue moved on their own, pushed forward by your heart that was filled to the brim and overflowing with only him, “okay. Yes. If you want to marry me, I want to marry you.”

He watched your face so closely; his warm eyes pushing deep inside your own and the gasp for air from his parted lips didn't pull his heavy eyelids closed. The small tick of his eyebrow up on his forehead didn’t pull those eyes from yours and he watched you with a silent intensity; you burned inside of it.

There was a simultaneous movement between the two of you that happened. Your hands flew to your mouth as you gasped out in genuine surprise and he dipped his head, closed his eyes up tight and let out a deep laugh from the center of his chest.

You let one of your hands free to quickly swat against his chest. He was giggling. He was laughing with unbridled joy written all over his face and your own laughter you covered with the palm of your hand.

“We are crazy!” You said in wild eyed disbelief, “Baek, we are insane! This isn’t normal right?”

“I’ve never pretended to be normal about you,” he said through the wide smile that had taken over his face.

“But—but, I don’t even know your favorite color. Or your favorite school subject. I don’t even know your favorite food. Baek, what are we even thinking?”

It was a little late for you to suddenly be having these sorts of doubts. You’d already agreed to marry him and you were pretty sure if he took it back you’d cry and cry and cry for a whole year and probably shrivel up in a ditch somewhere.

He still had his arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you closer into his chest as his eyes angled upward, he pouted his lips and his face took on a pensive expression.

“My favorite color is this color,” he lifted a finger and touched lightly over your bottom lip. You pulled your lips inward, biting down with your teeth to hide the wide smile that threatened to consume you.

“My favorite food is—” he reached with that same hand and grabbed another strawberry from the bowl, lifting it up to your lips and giving it a tiny push until you opened your mouth for him to push it inside. You’d expected him to let you just have it, but he was holding on long enough for his mouth to open up over the other end. You were too giggly for the kiss. You felt a bit of the strawberry’s juice dribble down your lip, you had to catch it with your fingertips. He was talking again with his mouth full, “—is half of your strawberries.” He was chewing and nodding his head appreciatively.

“My favorite subject is math,” he said abruptly while pulling his face back and squinting his eyes in your direction. You’d been spoiled by his answers already and you definitely expected him to say something else related to you. The surprise caught you off guard and he knew it.

“Math?”

“Mhmm,” he said as he grabbed another strawberry and popped it into his mouth.

You sat there with him quietly munching on fruit until the bowl was empty. There was no talk of rushing to define things. There were no discussions about the

what’s

or the

when’s

or the

Dear God How’s

that were involved in this monumental change that you had both decided was worth making for each other. You both simply ate these strawberries, smiled and sometimes giggled with each other, and enjoyed the stunning beauty of all that surrounded you in this magical place.

When the berries were gone and the tingling in your legs had settled with a few stretches and pointing moves of your toes, you knew it was time to get up off of this floor and take a walk with him.

“Am I ever going to get my tour?”

He was moving with you; carrying the bowl back to the kitchen, he simply set it on the counter and walked away as you curiously looked back at the white bowl with red stains splashed on the inside.

Your conscience nagged, “should we wash it?”

He was already pulling at your hand and leading you away from the kitchen into newer, unexplored parts of the house.

“Staff will get it.” You heard him say and you pulled lightly against his hand. The sudden resistance halted his forward progress and he turned a curious face to you. Your mind was whirling. You already knew about the butler (if that’s what that man was called) but he didn’t say that he would get it.

Baekhyun had definitely used an unmistakably plural term just now.

“Staff?” Your voice had a slight alarmed tone. You’d just made peace with the fact that at any time that you were here alone with him, a strange man might suddenly clear his throat from the shadows and catch you making out with your boyfriend/fiancé (!!!!) — but, staff?

“How many people are actually here right now?”

You pulled your hand out of his and wrapped your arms around your stomach, feeling just a little self conscious about the short shorts you wore and the very obvious, very intimate kissing and sweet giggling, and extremely personal conversation you and him had been taking part of inside that room with the statue. What if everything had been overheard, or worse, overseen?

Baekhyun tilted his head and glanced upward here and there, his focus flirting around in a few directions above his head. You had a sinking feeling the longer he pondered.

“Like…five at night. More during the day.”

“So we aren’t alone here, at any point in time?” You did your best to keep your voice neutral.

“We are absolutely alone inside my room. I promise. I don’t have a whole lot of say about the estate. It’s funded by the trust and run by an estate manager.” He was speaking to things you had no experience with, and while the words he spoke sounded fancy you really didn’t understand any of this. You at least found some solace in the fact that everything that took place in that comforting and familiar feeling bedroom of his was completely private.

Baekhyun was leading you around his home. The place was as enormous as you suspected. There were entire spaces dedicated to a single use. Like the home theater or the actual ballroom with its ceiling lined with crystal chandeliers. The excess was shocking. Baekhyun told you that when he was younger, his mother often threw elaborate parties here but he confessed that he had only been to some of these rooms once or twice and you struggled with the idea of living in such a place and never actually using any of it. He mentioned that his mother was in another country, and had been for some time. He shrugged when you frowned at this and he said he always had his

Mimi.

As impressive and as breathtakingly beautiful as everything was, you could see how he might have felt quite lonely here.

You longed for the comfort of his bedroom again. You stood in a long white winding hallway and your eyes had focused on a piece of artwork that hung on the wall here. It was something that was obviously extremely expensive and maybe even extremely old. This was something that one might expect to find in a museum gallery in Paris or London. The longer you stared at, the more emotions you felt filling your chest.

It was a pair of lovers locked in an eternal kiss. Their faces were hidden but everything about their bodies and the desperate way they clung to each other felt like the mad kind of love you felt for the man who patiently waited behind you as you took your time with this particular painting.

His fingers in particular were doing you in. He cradled her face with one hand; fingertips dug into the soft pillows of her plump cheeks and with his other hand splayed at the small of her back, he pulled her into his body.

It was a desperate passion. It was insatiable and hanging here in this hallway it would remain as such forever.

“This is incredible.” You whispered and you heard a soft hum behind you moments before a body’s warmth descended over your back and his arms wrapped around you. “I think this is me and you,” you giggled at how silly you sounded and you felt his pointed chin rest over your shoulder. You could make out his face, despite how close he was to you. He was looking at the painting now, paying closer attention with a small smile.

He spun you around inside his arms and he leaned his head into you, his hand lifting to your face and you felt the warm softness of his lips as he kissed you here. His hand gripped tightly around your lower back and his fingertips dug into the soft flesh of your ass and his lips and mouth and teeth and tongue and he took and took from your mouth with a demanding need that surprised you.

Your ears picked up on a sound somewhere in the house. Not close enough to make you panic but you were once again reminded that this was not the place for such things.

You pulled away from his kiss. He bent at the waist and he followed you but with two hands planted firmly over his shoulders you put enough distance between the two of you that afforded the opportunity for some words.

“

Baby

, I heard a sound. This shouldn’t happen here. Someone might see.”

He closed his eyes and licked his lips, straightening his spine and lifted a hand to rub over his face. Baekhyun nodded quietly and the smile that broke on his face was small and sheepish for a moment. Just for a moment because he shifted quite suddenly, his eyes widened, and his mouth hung open as if he had just had some sort of epiphany.

It took a few moments of him standing with this shocked expression on his face before he inhaled to speak.

“It’s not the sex, the sex wasn’t the problem we have at work.”

You shook your head, needing him to elaborate for you to understand what in the world he was so excited about.

“We can have sex.” He said with a smile and another nod of his head, your own lips pulled into a smile despite having no clue where he was going. “In fact we should. We should have lots and lots of sex. As much as we want, right? Just… get it out of our systems.”

“I mean—” you began cautiously. His eyes were wide. He was excited. Hell, you were getting rather excited with his idea of a sex marathon. It sounded much better than, say, a

Star Wars

marathon.

“What if we bring in another person?” His frantic eyes looked into yours and you closed up your lips immediately as you pulled your face back and away from him.

No?

No.

Hell no.

Hard pass.

What was this?

Absolutely not.

“Baekhyun.” you spoke his name clearly and plainly, without any hint of amusement in your voice. The sudden change in your demeanor pulled his lips closed and his eyes shot into yours with rapid speed.

“Baekhyun… like… a,” you leaned and lifted a finger up toward his face, his eyes nearly crossed to look down at your pointed finger as you harnessed your most disparaging whisper, “like a threesome? Baek, no.”

His eyes went wide again and suddenly he was erupting in laughter. You couldn’t quite catch up. Your finger was still raised and he was cackling and grabbing ahold of your finger with his hand shaking it lightly as he held an arm over his belly and groaned, panted, laughed some more and tried to reign it in.

“Hey. Lady. Get your mind — out of the gutter,” he said through the fit; still trying to breathe through the noisy laughs that had taken his breath away.

“In the office! Another person at work in the office with us, Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking funny I can’t,” he was holding a hand over his closed eyes, wiping moisture from his closed eyelids.

“Sunny’s project wrapped already. She can come in tomorrow and shadow me, learn the job before I leave,” he lifted up one finger, “so,
good idea number one,” his second finger joined, “and good idea number two, we definitely will behave if someone else is there with us, right?”

“Why would you say it like that?

We can have lots and lots of sex what about bringing in another person?

” You’d dropped your voice and scrunched up your nose, doing your absolute best to sound like this silly giggling man who stood in front of you giving you a damn heart attack with his terrible sentence structure choices. “You scared the

shit

out of me. I mean, oh my god? My boyfriend, hours after becoming my fiancé, wants to

what

?!”

You felt that you were very worked up. But you had genuinely and seriously misunderstood him just now. Your hands were still shaking from the shock of it.

He grabbed you by the shoulders and gave you a good shake. “Get it together woman! I would never. Never! I am a one woman man. And you are that one woman.”

“And that was a terrible, awful impression of me. Do you think I sound like that? God. I love you.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and rolled your eyes. Your impression was awesome. You had his speech pattern down to a science.

“Oh my god, shut up. I sounded exactly like you. I love you, too.”

“Oh my god.” He lifted his voice playfully, reaching out with his fingers to poke along your ribs, “You shut up. I love you more.”

You evaded the pokes from him and made your way out of this maze of hallways and theaters and fitness rooms and ballrooms and countless dining rooms and you headed in what you hoped was the direction of his bedroom. You got turned around but with a few light pushes steering you in the right direction you eventually found the familiar kitchen with its spotlessly clean countertop and you could definitely find your way back to the comfort of his bed and the comfort of his arms from here.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You’d nearly made it all the way to his bedroom. Nearly made it through with your quiet and careful footsteps. Despite his giggling lips pressing up against your own with every other step; his teeth bumped into your smiling mouth and his hands with their wandering fingertips that connected to his strong arms, they wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you back into him again and again. He was warmth. He was lightness. He was hot palms on the bare skin over your rib cage slipping underneath the loose and comfy sleep shirt you wore and you could actually see the clean white double doors of the sanctity of his bedroom. You had it in your sights.

But there was a throat clearing sound again. You heard a low rumbling growl come from somewhere hidden within your hair. It was a complaining sound. Baekhyun had heard the throat clearing this time and he was obviously quite put-out by the interruption.

His eyes brushed heavily against yours on their way to locate the source of that sound and his pupils were large and dark enough to swallow you whole in this dimly lit nook just off of the hallway to his bedroom.

“What?” His voice was gruff and his head whipped in the direction of the younger woman in what was some sort of crisp gray uniform; a pencil skirt, a white button up top, a tasteful bun. You laid a hand over his shoulder. This was obviously her job and he didn't need to make the mood she interrupted so very obvious with the tone of his voice. Once again you felt subconscious of the ultra casual sleep set and your lack of makeup. You felt even more subconscious as you pulled your shirt down out of caution; making sure the skin of your abdomen, that still echoed with the memory of his traveling fingertips seconds earlier, was well covered.

You weren’t exactly sure what to make of this place but it definitely didn’t feel like a comfortable home where you could just relax and let your guard down. It kind of felt like there were eyes everywhere and you missed the isolation of your quiet apartment with its quaint kitchen, small single bathroom, and your secluded bedroom where his stolen kisses and intimate giggles were for you and him alone.

Your hand on his shoulder pulled his eyes into yours for the briefest of moments and he inhaled deeply and slowly with the smallest tick of his head back and forth before looking back at the woman.

She was, of course, bent at the waist with her hands folded just over her belly and her face was angled downward with an impassive smile on her barely visible face. This was a different one than the butler from earlier. You wondered if they played

rock paper scissors

for this or if they just took turns.

“Pardon the interruption,

Master Byun

, but the kitchen is asking — Will

Miss.

.. err...

Madam...

will she be joining us for breakfast in the morning? Do you have any dietary restrictions or allergies,

Madam

?”

Her voice lifted and she turned her direction toward you to ask the question.

It took only a moment for your mind to clear enough for you to process it and you gave her a small polite smile with a shake of your head.

“It’s

Miss

and I’ll be fine with just coffee,” you said with a not unkind correction and you caught the movement of Baekhyun’s face in your peripheral vision. Your focus flitted over to his face easily. He had the smallest smile on his lips and you caught a tick up of a single eyebrow on his forehead.

“Miss, for now,” his voice rose in volume and his smile widened with the words. He was looking at you although he was clearly speaking to her, “Soon to be The Madam of this house — will just have coffee, thank you.”

You gasped and covered your mouth, lightly smacking against his chest with your other hand. “Don't tell her that,” you whispered. Any corrections you wanted to make would be wasting breath because she had already turned on her heels with a quick nod of her head and she was gone just as silently as she had arrived.

“Why not? They’ll need to know.”

“They don't need to know anything right now, and besides. The Madam of this house? This house?” You lifted a hand to gesture widely around you, as if your point had been made with the wide sweeping motions of your arm. This place was ridiculous. This place was a palace; a museum; a mausoleum even. It definitely wasn’t a place you could actually see yourself living in, let alone being the Madam of. He was insane. His face was blank as he watched your incredulous expression grow even more and more unbelieving.

“You aren’t serious. This house?”

“Yes, this house. We can live here together. This can be our house. Me and You.”

You closed up your gaping mouth and pulled your arms across your chest as you leaned away from him just a little bit to get a better look at the expression you saw on his face.

You found no traces of humor in his eyes. They sat heavily inside his head. Deep brown, immovable, and steady. The man was serious.

“Baekhyun,” you said as a hundred doubts flew through your mind at once about this place and his plans that he laid out so plainly and easily as if his family, his world, his entire empire would simply open the door wide for someone like you to come in and simply take what she wanted from their precious son and his palace and all who laid claim to it.

“What?” He lifted another eyebrow and his face ticked upward. “You don't like it here?”

“I’m—” your face rolled with your eyes around the empty space above his head, “—I’m just a visitor here. This place isn’t … me.” You lifted both of your hands up with your palms facing outward, lightly flexing your fingertips into the air in front of you once before you took a step into him and laid both of your hands over the warmth of his abdomen. You had no intention of offending him, or worse, hurting him with this reality of how you actually felt about this house. You just didn't see yourself ever really being able to relax here. A home should be comfortable, shouldn’t it be?

He was watching your face and you caught the way he swallowed lightly before opening his mouth once to speak.

“I’ll come to you then,” he said. He took a step forward and your hands that rested on him moved with his motion. You had to step back to keep your balance. You felt the cool solid wood of his bedroom door at your back. You were out of steps to take away from him. “Wherever you want to be, that's where I want to be. As long as it's me and you.”

“Me and you?” You whispered through a tiny grin. You felt desperate to believe him. Every single word out of his mouth sounded like make-believe. The man had never known how to go without. The man didn’t know what it meant to be denied. He was so beautiful and so romantic and yet every one of his heady promises and oh there were so very many, every single one was marred with what you knew about the harsh truths of real life.

“None of them even know about me and you.” His wandering fingertips had returned. It was so very hard to think about anything other than the romantic fantasies with his hot hands on you like this. “Not your parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles. Not unless they have their own spies installed here disguised as staff members, like in the movies. None of them, the ones who might have an opinion about this — about me — none of them know.”

“Then I’ll tell them all,” his breath heated the surface of the skin of your face, fanning across your flushed cheeks, “that I’m in love with you. That I need you in my life forever. I’ll tell them how desperate I am for every little bit of you. I will tell them. I will handle it.”

“And what would they say?” Your question pushed through the haze inside your mind. His hands had reached the waistband of your shorts and he had slipped them beneath the elastic fabric and he roughly gripped your bare ass inside of the shorts. With his lips he placed delicate kisses over the shapes that made up your face and the stark contrast between the two actions had you reeling. The softness of his kisses that pleaded and begged; the roughness of his hands that demanded and took.

“What would they say?” You repeated. He made no efforts to answer your question so you pushed through again, gasping when you felt the wetness of his teeth bite down onto the flesh of your earlobe. Whimpering through the moan that echoed out inside of your eardrum. “Tell me, Baekhyun. Would they even accept this?”

“They would have to. For me it’s only you.”

“Have you always gotten exactly what you wanted, your whole life?”

You’d lost his hands from inside your shorts. His face pulled back just enough for dark brown eyes to peer into yours for a silent moment. His expression was stoic and serious as he looked into your eyes and just when you began to feel truly lost inside of them you caught the smallest change in his expression. At the corner of his lips, just on one side played right there was the smallest smirk.

“Yes,” he whispered. The smirk grew bigger and bolder and that self confident grin on his face sunk down deep inside of you with a splash, “I always get what I want.”

Unbelievable. You looked into his face, gauging the truth in his words as best you could but you couldn’t quite make sense of it with the look he was giving you. The darkness you found in his eyes paired with the self satisfied smirk made you doubt what he was actually talking about. Did he mean he always got his way with his parents or was he referring to you?

“Always? You’ve never been told no? You’ve never wanted something so desperately only to have it ripped out of your hands? Never?”

His smile faltered briefly and his eyes lifted to look up into the space above your head as his lips pursed in thought.

“When I was a kid, I got everything I wanted. I was a spoiled brat, of course. I didn't really know what it meant to want something. I definitely didn't know what it meant to need something.”

“But then when I was a teenager I rebelled against it all. There was a time when I hated everything. It just pissed me off; all of it. I gave

Mimi

so much trouble back then. I remember she would say that I was throwing a fit because I knew I didn't deserve it and she was right. So I had to deserve it.” His pretty smile grew nostalgic with the memories of what must have been an angsty teen phase, pushing back against the life of excess he was born into.

“By the time I was an adult I began to really understand that just because I reject it; It doesnt change the privilege that comes with who I am or who my family is. I’m still working on deserving it. I’m working on that every day.”

You watched his face as he spoke animatedly, a small grin spreading across your face to hear him being so open with you about his life so far. The more he spoke, the more you were reminded again why you loved him so much. He had turned out to be such a beautiful person inside and out.

While you were still standing close enough to him to feel every inch of his warm body against you, his little speech had taken his focus away from your face and his eyes had been bouncing around as he talked to you. Still, you couldn't help the intense affection you felt surging inside of you and when you leaned forward and caught the softness of his warm cheek in a stolen kiss his eyes shot down into yours and his lips pulled wide. He inhaled to speak again with his focus down on your face.

“But as far as getting what I want — as far as me and you — I will tell them and we will get married and we will live wherever we want to live as long as it’s me and you.”

He leaned then, pressing his lips lightly over yours before he pulled his face back to speak again, “and I’ll spend my life deserving you.”

Your breath caught halfway in your lungs and you felt the stutter in your heartbeat to hear his words. He sounded so sure. You wanted to believe that everything would work out. You wanted to lean on him and trust him that this would work; that you could be with him forever and that nothing would come crashing down around you just because you dared to dream of this.

“You sound so certain,” you whispered and you felt the warmth in your cheeks as your blood pumped and flowed just below the surface of your skin as if even the very life that ran through your veins was magnetized by him.

“I am,” he whispered back.

“How?”

“Because I’m putting everything I have inside of me into this. I can’t lose you. There would be nothing left.”

The look in his eyes was much too determined for the paper thin words he was telling you. Yes it was incredibly sweet and yes it was extremely romantic and,

my God

, did you love this man to pieces for it; but you’ve been on projects like this before at work that ultimately failed because the foundation behind them had been as shaky and flimsy as his words right now. The man was absolutely convinced this would all work out on his own gumption alone. No past experiences to pull from, no facts or concrete evidence of success, just the feeling in his gut that he would face absolutely no opposition from his very formidable opponent simply because he wanted it more. That was it. He wanted this more than his parents were willing to fight him over. And what happened to you during such a fight? Surely you’d lose most of yourself to the crossfire.

You pondered every possible scenario, looking through endless possibilities for any and every one that might result in something that might take hold. For something that might possibly succeed and, despite it all, the glaringly obvious holes in his plan stood out more than the sheer force of willpower this man touted as his main character trait. As you considered and begged and pleaded with your business mind to just be quiet so you could enjoy the happiness that you should be feeling tonight with him and you stared into his determined face for long enough for his serious expression to fade.

He shook his head and scrunched up his nose with a little whining sound that interrupted your quiet contemplations. You felt a little shake as he grabbed your arms and wiggled your whole body back and forth.

“Come on,

Noona

, I was so cool just now. Why are you looking at me like that?” He wiggled your arms again, harder now with a smile on his lips that he couldn't fight despite the whining you still heard coming through his nose. You felt as if a spell had been broken.

“How am I looking at you?” The whining had done its trick. You could feel yourself giving in easily and you bit down on your lips to keep the smile under control. He saw the smile. You reached a hand forward to grab ahold of the fabric of his shirt simply to break eye contact and have something else to look at and you heard the smallest chuckle from his throat.

“That’s better. It’s gone now. You had that scary manager face on for a minute. God you are good at that. You have to teach me how to make someone drop to their knees with just one look.”

As soon as he said that, his mouth closed up and he quit talking. The silence was abrupt and maybe if he hadn’t had such a reaction you would not have even paid it that much attention. But his sudden silence called attention to it and then his particular choice of words pulled your eyes up into his as they replayed again inside of your mind, carrying with them little flutters that tinged the edges of your imagination. How could that one slip of his tongue be having this sort of effect on you?

How to make someone drop to their knees with just one look.

It was a dangerous choice of words. It was something you hadn’t yet done with him. The opportunity hadn’t presented itself. But now the thought of it had slipped into your mind and you could feel the flush under your skin. Your curiosity was a driving factor now as questions flew through the darkest parts of your mind. How would he react to feel your mouth on him? What kinds of sinful sounds would he make? Would he give in to you entirely and lose himself? Would he let you worship him like you wanted to?

You’d moved only your eyes at first but you noticed his focus did not meet yours. When you lifted your chin and let your head loll back and you watched his face freely. Perhaps he had caught himself off guard with his words as well. He was blinking quicker and he ticked his head to the side, lifted a hand to his face and he lightly scratched at the tip of his nose with his fingers all the while his eyes danced around, lightly landing into yours for a millisecond before they looked away again.

“That came out sounding kind of…” when he finally spoke, your suspicions were confirmed. You couldn’t pinpoint it, but he looked kind of caught. The way he held his jaw, you saw signs of movement inside of his mouth as he worried his tongue around inside. When his lips parted you caught sight of the tip of that tongue as it darted out and wet his lips. You slipped your fingers down the length of his forearm following it to the end where you wrapped a hand around his palm and gripped him tightly.

“Let’s get ready for bed,” you said, “it’s getting late and we have work in the morning.”

“Yes ma’am,” you heard him whisper under his breath as you reached for the doorknob and turned it. You slipped inside first, feeling no resistance from him behind you as he followed in step and the quiet click of the door behind him was followed by a thick silence that coated you from head to toe.

You went through the motions of it; following Baekhyun around his place, brushing your teeth beside him, washing your face and quietly applying the same moisturizer that he used. It was completely new to you, actually getting ready for bed with him in his home. And yet, this man made you feel so entirely at ease and comfortable in his presence there was a strange feeling of almost familiarity in this; despite the fact that it was indeed your first time spending the night here with him. Your heart fluttered and leapt when you realized that you and him might very well do this kind of thing together for the rest of your lives.

You had been staring. His eyes bounced toward you in between putting little bottles of skin care products back into their places. He looked so beautiful like this; dressed down in just a pair of comfy gray sweatpants and a clean white t-shirt. Below the shirt his shoulders were broad and you could make out the shape of his beautiful chest.

You must have been frozen by him. You came-to with the brightness of his easy smile that jump-started your heart and you found him staring back at you; leaning against his clean marble countertop of this bathroom. His posture looked too relaxed for how handsome he looked and your eyes followed a slim arm that was draped across his thigh. His other hand braced him up on the counter and in that arm his biceps flexed tightly.

It took you a while to look into his eyes but when you did you were greeted by a tiny smile, a slight eyebrow lift and those deep brown eyes that widened a millimeter once he was finally sure he had your focus inside of his eyes rather than all over the physical shape of the man.

You felt caught; but it was not an uncomfortable feeling. Nothing with Baekhyun was uncomfortable.

He did not speak nor did he move and the silence with which he looked at you lasted for four - five - six slow and deep breaths that you pulled into your lungs until —

“I’m going to make love to you all night,” he whispered through his parted lips and looked at you through half closed eyelids and his quiet declaration flooded through your chest with the force of a megaphone. You felt weak all over. Particularly in your legs with the steadfast determined way this man was looking into your face right now.

“I think you already know how to make someone drop to their knees with just one look, Baekhyun.”

The pace of your own breaths quickened. You were just out of control enough to have said what you had just said. He watched your face in complete silence and when he finally moved it was just a slight parting of his lips when he inhaled a quick breath.

You wanted to touch him. You wanted the warmth of his body temperature in the palm of your hands. You wanted to feel his rapid pulse below your fingertips and with your tongue.

You moved then; stepping up to where he leaned against the counter and you eyed a padded bench just to his right you wrapped your fingers around his wrist and you pulled him; you steered him to that place.

His blinks came slower now. He moved where you placed him and his brown eyes with dark pupils followed your every move.

He was seated before you when you lowered yourself before his parted knees.

His thighs were tensed below your palms and he was so much warmer than the cold hard tiles below your knees. The pain was the first thing you felt but its impact was secondary to the warmth of him. The moment you moved a hand up higher on his thigh you felt him flinch. You weren’t sure why. Perhaps it was from surprise but your eyes sought him out. You found him looking down at you with wide eyes, an open mouth and the tip of his pink wet tongue laying over the front of his teeth. When he moved it was only to close up his mouth and he bit down on his bottom lip. His eyes did not leave you. You reached the space in the middle of him and your hand landed over the heat you felt there, below the fabric of his sweats.

“Take these off,” your own voice sounded foreign to you. It didn’t come out as the soft request you had aimed for; more of an unquestionable commandment.

He was jolted by it; moving instantly, a quiet curse word leaving his lips first with a growl as he lifted hips and pushed away the gray fabric and whatever underwear he wore beneath them.

You reached for him. The second you felt the smooth growing stiffness of him below your lightly tracing fingertips you heard him make a sound. He had lifted his hands to his face and you looked up as you wrapped a hand around him, finding his fingertips splayed over his gaping mouth and his eyes black and transfixed on your movements as you touched him; very gently at first.

The sweats were pulled down only to his thighs and you tugged them down over his knees so they rested over his ankles and,

my God

, he was beautiful. You watched and felt it happen inside of your hands as he grew harder because of you. You could worship this man; every single part of him was so pretty.

You dipped your face down to him and placed the first light kiss just on his tip, just a tease. When you wrapped your fingers around, then your palm gripped him, holding him steady to take his length into your mouth for the first taste and he was moaning. The sound was glorious.

“F-fuck,

Noona

, oh god — oh my god.”
He was whining; unable to really keep his eyes open but incapable of letting them close completely because he was watching you through his struggling eyelids; through heavy breaths that moved his abdomen up and down and through the restrained light upward thrusts of his hips into your open mouth.

You let him push, just a little, keeping your hand around the base of him when you sucked harder and when you took him into your mouth as far as you could stand, the low timbre of the growl that came from the back of his throat preceded the “fuck, oh my god. Oh my god — I’m losing my mind — holy fuck,

Noona

.”

Some sounds came out as actual words, mixed in between incomprehensible whines, grunts, and moans.
He had slipped forward on the bench for you, letting his knees part open further and you made no efforts to contain the dripping saliva that dripped over your clenched fist. This should be wet. This should be messy. You used the flat of your tongue to massage down the length of him and as you opened your eyes to catch the darkness of his eyes as you moved between his legs, slipping your tongue over the stretchy skin of his balls, you pulled his flesh inside of the vacuum of your mouth and he gasped out loud. His eyes rolled back; his head fell back as well, this fight, whatever futile ideas he had inside of his head that he could somehow prolong this was actively and quickly slipping away from him.

His slim fingertips threaded through your hair, tightening within the strands there to hold onto you. You felt the push of his hips as he pushed himself into your open mouth. You felt the bump of his dick against your soft palate and you relaxed your jaw when you felt his other hand on the other side of your head and he pushed again. The threat of too far — that tempting threat, you pushed against the head of him with your tongue. You relaxed as best as you could and you breathed through your nose; feeling the grip of his fingers tighten as he pushed in again before pulling out of your wet mouth. And it was again and again; he was so overcome. You sucked as he moved and you could feel the change in his muscles; the falter in his rhythm.

He was close. His voice warned, a low whine turning into a quick spoken warning. It had been too much. He couldn't stop it.

“F— fuck,

baby

, I’m going to cum.” His hands had let you go. He was giving you maybe a half a second warning. Just enough time to pull your mouth off of him if you wanted. You understood what he meant but you had so much of an obsessive need for every drop of this man inside of you; you stayed put. You sucked on him again, instantly rewarded with tremors along the underside of his length; just below your tongue. He cried out loud and his strong thighs tensed firm below your forearms. Pulses and spasms and the bitter taste of his cum hit the back of your tongue and coated the back of your throat, slipping easily as you swallowed quickly once, then twice; sucking until every drop was pulled from him.

He was left shaking and trembling when you pulled your mouth up. His eyes were closed and he was still pulsing inside of your hand with gentle movements that were timed to his heartbeat. The look on his face was overcome. He looked so good like this. You knew this look was only for you; this man was yours to love.

Oh — you felt aflame. Between the taste of him that lingered on the back of your tongue and the spent and frozen way he stared at you with half closed deep brown eyes, pink cheeks, a heaving chest as he breathed through pink parted lips; you were on fire. His focus stayed fixed on you; his eyes following every one of your movements.

You lifted a hand, lightly wiping away wetness from your mouth with the back of your hand and what remained on your mouth was the smallest self satisfied smile and he closed his eyes up tight with a furrow of his brows and the smallest quiet whine coming from deep in the back of his throat.

“You,” he panted through the whine, mumbling in a tired sounding whisper, “You are in big trouble. You’ll never be able to get rid of me now.”

You were at the sink, brushing your teeth for the second time in under an hour and Baekhyun had slinked his way to lean against a cabinet beside you. He leaned on his shoulder and tilted his head and watched you in silence with a small smile on his lips.

You were spitting and rinsing and he was watching and blinking; not saying anything outside of just watching you. His silence was compelling and every time you looked at him his smile had changed just a little bit. Something was coming. This man could simply not be quiet for this long without the words bursting out of him.

“

Noona

.” There it was. Your lips were already pulled into a smile fully against your will. You let your lips part so you could bite down just a little on your bottom lip and you hummed out a quiet response as you lifted your eyes, turned to face him and you looked into his questioning face. “You have some more secrets don't you?” You felt the movement of his fingertips as he reached a hand out and lightly trailed the backs of his nails over your top. His movements were so light you felt only the very slight tickle through the material. His eyes followed the path of his hand and you shook your head back and forth with a little shrug.

“Secrets? What kind of secrets do I have?” You asked with raised eyebrows, feigned innocence and a barely concealed smile. He leaned in and at the same time laid his hand on your waist. The shirt was short enough that in his travels his palm slipped below the fabric and you could feel the warmth of his fingertips over your skin.

“Secrets. Things you want from me but won't say out loud. Like what you did to me just now.” He had leaned in so much closer you could feel the warmth of his breath on your lips, you could smell the scent of his skin and with his hand on your waist his fingertips flexed and he dug into your flesh. “Like you wanted me to fuck your mouth — you wanted to suck my dick and swallow all of my cum.” His words erased your smile. You were already overwhelmed by him but him speaking of these things in that low growl of his had your pulse racing.

“What else do you want? You have to tell me, I want to hear it, desperately. I’ll give you anything.” he said. You had your eyes closed and he was everywhere. You could smell the minty toothpaste still on his tongue. You could smell his shampoo. You could smell his body temperature and the way it warmed your own skin and magnified his scent with him this close to you. It had to be biological. Something in his DNA that matched perfectly with yours that made the smell of his living flesh so unbelievably attractive to you. You inhaled a deep breath from the skin of his neck and you felt drunk from it.

“I can’t think of anything right now,” you answered honestly and you felt his low hum vibrate against your body, “but I will tell you when I do.”

“I want some things too,” he said as he pulled his face back just enough for the black of his pupils to nudge you lightly. You looked up and lifted your eyebrows. Your attention had been tuned in to his words but you were unprepared for actions.

You gasped out loud when he moved, surging into you, he bent at the waist and he wrapped strong arms around your hips, lifting you up entirely off guard and of your feet you felt jostled and hoisted; dizzy and disoriented — suddenly upside down and moving. He had tossed you over his shoulders like you were a sack of rice. It was so unexpected that your reaction was loud. You were laughing and frantically grasping at him with your hands that hung over his strong back. It all happened so fast. By the time the panic of the surprise had faded you were tossed onto his bed and at last the world had stopped moving in such unpredictable ways.

When he was back, it was on top of you on the bed with his arms and legs on both sides of you, caging you in. You had a feeling of very slight curiosity about what he might be up to. Not enough to cause you any distress, but he had mentioned some things he wanted a few moments earlier. And he had yet to elaborate.

“What things do you want from me, Baekhyun?”

He was looking at you but he wasn’t inhaling to speak. He just looked into your eyes with his dark brown pupils dancing around your face for longer than you thought he needed to think about it. His silence was nearing the point where it went on for too long when, at last, you heard him take a breath and you watched as his lips parted.

“It’s a lot,” he whispered. “I have so much that I want from you.”

“Tell me. Just start talking.” The curiosity was heating you up inside. It was beginning to get too tempting to know the truth of what his desires were. You hoped it was nothing too weird. You could get on board with most things for him as long as he wasn’t about to ask to bring in another person again.

“It’s not just one thing,

Noona

. I want… I have wanted you for a long time. I want to do things, I want you to do things.”

He hadn’t said anything of substance yet. Sure he said some words but there was no meaning in them. He was avoiding it. You felt it then, just a bit of frustration with the silly way he danced around the truth.

A part of you even wondered if he was doing this intentionally. You already knew that he enjoyed teasing you. Perhaps he was being vague to build up the tension which you already felt in every single cell in your body at this point. You didn’t need any more tension. You needed this man to start touching you, or kissing you, or doing something with his mouth, if not talking about it, then just doing it. Just the idea that he was dragging this out on purpose added to the pent up feeling you had inside your belly and something once built up had to go somewhere. You wondered if you might actually explode.

You figured he had about twenty more seconds. You weren’t exactly the most patient person even when you weren’t unimaginably turned on and needy. But right now? Right now you wanted this man to do something to you.

You might have shifted your expression; giving your frustrations a place to sink down deep inside. Perhaps this was reflected on your face. Something in your eyes must have changed, because his silent blinking suddenly shifted and he lifted a single eyebrow and his lips pulled into the slightest, barely detectable smirk. Had you been less familiar with this man’s tells you might have missed it. Baekhyun was definitely teasing you.

“Baek,” you began with just a bit of a warning on your tongue, “tell me something — anything. Or do something. You’re making me feel really crazy.”

“I know,” he said and he dipped his head this time, nuzzling the tip of his nose over the fabric covered mound of your breast, “I like making you really crazy.” He repeated the last two words in a lifted octave, as if he was doing a mocking impression of you.

Right now. In a situation such as this. The man was playing games. You could have cursed. You wanted him to touch you and fuck you, not tease you and laugh at you.

His mouth opened then, right over the spot where your nipple sat below the shirt and he bit down on you, just hard enough for you to feel the bite through the shirt and through the bra. His aim was impeccable and the jolt of slight pain and tingles of pleasure that burst through your body made you arch your back and you gasped. When he pulled his face back up he was definitely smirking. Your shirt had a big wet spot from his mouth.

“I have to admit, this is one of the things I want. Teasing you until you get just a little bit mad. You are my pretty little toy and I want to play with you.

Noona

, I think I might still be a spoiled brat.”

He was moving. You were reeling. This you knew about him already. He knew exactly which buttons to push to get you to react to him exactly like he wanted but hearing him say it with his own lips so plainly was doing something new inside of you. His audacity was shocking. You felt a weird mixture of genuine annoyance and arousal.

Baekhyun had reached for your shorts and he gripped and pulled at the elastic fabric. You complied easily with him; lifting your hips so he could slip them off; feeling the cool air of the room on the skin he was uncovering. Maybe now, maybe the teasing was out of his system.

“A brat should be scolded and you are so fucking hot when you get mad. But I want more than that. I want you to use me like I belong to you. Use me to get off. Fuck me like you want to fuck me. I want you to snap. I want you to sit on my face. I want to suffocate between your thighs,

baby

, I want to drown in you. I want to wake up with your mouth on my dick. I want to wake up with you on top of me.”

“Should I keep going? Do you want to hear more?” You didn’t know if you did. You kind of needed him to stop talking; you were already feeling overwhelmed by the things he had told you. While he spoke he was undressing you. The panties were gone. Pulling you up just enough to take off your shirt. You didn’t even notice when he unclasped your bra but it was loose enough to fall off when you moved.

But did you want him to tell you more? You felt too weak for any more. This was already way too much for you to take. He was inhaling to speak again. You writhed below him on the bed. You shook your head back and forth. Aside from undressing you, he had at no point actually touched you. You needed the touch. You reached a hand up and touched the side of his face with your fingertips and he turned his head into your hand, grabbing your middle finger in between his teeth and he bit down, pulling the digit into his mouth, you felt the wetness of his tongue as he sucked it far inside. His tongue swirled around your finger a few times and your skin prickled all over with goosebumps.

His mouth. You wanted his mouth. He told you to sit on his face. He was asking for it.

But you were still on your back. You were still caged in by his body on top of you on this bed. It didn’t seem like he planned on moving and he inhaled to speak again.

“I want to fuck you at work — in your office. I think about that so much. I want to bend you over your desk, pull your skirt up over your hips and slip inside; with the blinds closed and an office full of people; with my hand over your mouth. I want to put these ideas into your head so you think about them while checking your email.”

Your eyes widened and you gasped out loud. How dare he say that? You both experienced the very scary, very real close call in that stairwell.

The look in his eyes was different now. He glared down at you, challengingly; still clothed and he knew that saying things like this was so very dangerous. He had lost his mind.

“Baekhyun,” you whispered through tightly closed eyelids as you shook your head back and forth.

You didn’t feel strong enough for this. In the back of your mind you thought that maybe if he was convincing enough you might actually give in to some of these insane desires of his. You’d had the exact same fantasy of the sex in your office only you weren’t unhinged enough to say it outloud and you definitely weren't about to act on it.

“I want to bite you all over. I want to mark you as mine and I want everyone to know it. I want Chet to know it. I hate keeping it a secret. I want you to kiss me in front of him. God, I want to cum inside of you without your birth control — knowing the risks. I’ll do anything to keep you by my side — I’ll buy you anything, tell you anything, do anything for you, get you pregnant with my baby. I’ll elope with you. We can get married without anyone’s permission tomorrow if that means I get to keep you. I have no limits. I want you to scold me right now for even saying all of this.”

“Byun Baekhyun.” You mustered as much authority as you could and you sat up on your elbows. You had told him about your birth control that you always took to help with your periods after the first night you’d slept together. He confessed that he was aware that you took a pill every day, and had put two and two together. But for him to want something so risky? For him to confess all of that? Was he really this brazen?

“Baek,

Baby

, you need to stop talking.” He had leaned back on his ankles when you sat up. He let his arms hang lifelessly by his side and he looked at you with a wholly desperate expression on his face — furrowed eyebrows and parted and pouting lips that hung open. His face was flushed pink and his breathing was heavy and labored. In his eyes, his pupils were large and black and with each rough exhale his eyes narrowed and he flinched in tiny trembles.

“So shut me up,” he whined through the breaths, “please,

Noona

.”

He was overwhelmed. You were overwhelmed but you were doing your best to withstand it but the difference between the two of you was staggering.

He was fully clothed and you were completely naked. Yet with his confessions laid out so clearly it felt as if he was the more vulnerable one.

“Take your clothes off,” you said feeling much too reckless, “and lay down,” you pointed a finger to the bed beside you. He was moving, doing as you told him and when his clothes were off you could see that he was already fully hard again. This young and beautiful man — his skin was smooth and golden; his shoulders were broad and strong and as he moved you could make out the muscles in his abdomen that flexed with him. He’d reached a hand up behind his head and tossed the pillow off the bed and when he’d stilled his motions his brown eyes turned to look into yours. He was reaching for you with needy hands, pulling you by the arms until you came to him. Your legs felt weak when you lifted yourself and you straddled him high up on his belly.

“Move higher. Come here,” he said. He was lifting you up, moving you up higher up onto his chest. With your legs parted over his bare skin you could feel your own wetness between your legs. It felt so telling. It felt like too much. You had a slight moment of panic, knowing that he would be able to tell exactly how aroused you were and how badly you wanted him. How could you let go of this nervousness? Baekhyun had just been so honest and so raw with you and he was here below you completely bare, begging for you to let it go and give yourself over to him.

There was no time for any of your protests. He shifted below you quickly, slipping his arms underneath both of your thighs and he lifted you up higher with an impressive strength as his biceps flexed hard below you. You found yourself situated with your legs fully parted right above his face and his big brown eyes looked up at you as he pushed; nuzzling the tip of his nose into you with a bump against your swollen clit. You felt heat from the first breath of air he took deep with a low moan from within your wet center right before he opened his mouth. You had to hold on to the headboard to keep from grabbing his hair; although you did consider it for a moment.

You felt consumed. Literally, the man pulled you into his open mouth, licking and sucking with lips and tongue, all the while the sounds that came from below shocked you with how sinful it felt to hear this with your own ears. The sounds he was making were even more so; with the low moaning, sounds of wetness upon wetness, filthy sounds of sex as his fingertips dug in hard enough to bruise the backs of your thighs. You felt yourself slipping. This felt like nothing you had felt before. With you positioned on top of his greedy mouth like this, you felt everything so entirely and in exactly the right spots. It was hitting you fast. You felt your eyes drifting closed as the first wave overcame your senses. Your mouth flew open with it. You laid a hand on his head; gripping strands of his blond hair between your fingers; probably holding on too tightly; probably pulling his hair too hard.

You’d relaxed your hold on him when the dizziness took over, but the strong grip he held you with and the strong suction you felt from his mouth did not let up. He did not let up. He did not let go when you let go and his demanding mouth took and took. Pulled by force with his sheer strength and commitment until another dizzying wave that quickly took over your body; made your legs shake and tremble and made you cry out loud as it surged through you. Again. He was relentless. He would not stop, despite the very obvious orgasms you had just had, you still felt him pulling you inside his mouth. He still held on so tight. He knew it. He had to have known it. You came right on his face. You had to let go of his hair. You had to let go of the headboard. It was too much and yet, and yet — you pushed up, pushed against his strong grip. The tightness with which he held you into him was finally relinquished.

You toppled over onto the bed. Whatever strength you’d had in your body felt used up and when you moved off of him, Baekhyun followed you. He sat up, slipping his arms around your naked body, following where you landed. You felt too spent for much conscious movement but you recognized how wet he was; his face, his neck, his hair even.

That was you. You made such a mess of him.

You felt his lips and your own wetness all over your skin. You felt small bites between your legs, high up on your upper thighs. Below your belly button. On your ribs and on your breasts. You felt the pull of his mouth as he marked your skin. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes it tickled. When he bit down hard on your nipple you jolted to life, surging again with that painful pleasure that came back to you so easily again and again with his mouth on you. You would find these later. Alone in the shower. Alone while you changed clothes. Reflected in the mirror in places you hadn’t even realized. You would be pulled back to this moment, back to this man, and back to this obsessive love again and again and again.

This same love pulled your eyes open and you found him searching for you; his lips landing into yours you only tasted yourself on his tongue. The first few deep kisses felt filthy, needy, yet so compelling.

You could feel him on top of you, pushing your legs apart for him, pushing inside of you fully. Coloring this love with that same particular shade of desperation that hadn’t quite been satiated yet.

Yes, you had both climaxed enough today.

Yes you had seen plenty of the physical pleasure from each other's bodies but even now as he was inside of you, as he pushed in and pulled out, seeking to go deeper, desperate for more closeness than the physical connection of your bodies could offer, it felt like you needed more. It felt like he wanted more. If there had been a method to slip inside of someone’s mind at a time like this; if he could somehow find a pathway to melt into your heart; you were sure he would do it.

He left you then. It was abrupt. You felt the vacancy without him and it was stark. You instantly missed his body weight pressing your back down into this bed; you felt colder and empty without him.

You found yourself moved then. You were lifted by his arms and you turned, leaning yourself into him where he laid you down and when he pushed inside of you again from behind you on this bed, it was like coming back home. You did not want him to leave you. He pushed again. Sure, with his quick shallow pushes you knew he chased his climax. You could tell he was close by the tight grip he held around your breast; by the fingertips that dug into your hip bone, keeping you in place while he fucked you. When the release came you were flooded again by the heat and warmth he gave you; but he did not loosen the hold on you when at last he stopped moving. He held you there still in place, still inside of you as both of your labored breaths turned slower and steadier.

The dizziness and the haze was replaced by peace and drowsiness. You wanted to keep him this way. You did not want him to leave you, no matter what called his attention but he was moving a little. Little movements separate from the small tremors you still felt happening inside of you. He was shifting his position as the spell was wearing off and his mind was alerted to things like the impending mess that threatened to spill out onto this bed or the need to clean up quickly so you could both go to sleep. You’d both been quite involved in this all night and it was getting pretty late.

Baekhyun lifted his head from where he was burrowed in your shoulder, planting the smallest kiss against your bare skin before he did it.

“We should clean up,” he said in a sleepy voice.

You placed a hand behind him on his hip, lightly pressing him down, keeping him from moving from where he laid. He was still inside of you, although he was now softening and molding to the shape of you.

“Can you stay? I want you to stay inside of me. Let’s just sleep like this. Feels nice.”

You felt the movement of his head again as he dropped it back down. Your words had interrupted his retreat so easily. He had told you earlier that he would give you anything you wanted. It only took you asking for him to give in.

“Hmm? You want me to stay inside of you?” His little question sounded surprised at first. You nodded your head and gripped tightly around his arm that was still wrapped around you, strangely worried that he might move and decide that you were crazy to suggest this. But he wasn’t moving; not after hearing you ask him so sweetly if he could stay like this.

“It does feel nice,” you heard his sleepy declaration. “I’ll stay here,

baby

.” His hips moved and he pushed into you again. You felt the nudge he gave with his hips and he slipped further inside with the softest moan in the back of his throat. It wasn’t about the sex anymore for either of you, yet keeping this connection with him felt so unimaginably good — perhaps you’d unlocked some heightened level of intimacy here with him, the man you loved more than you’d ever loved anyone else in your entire life.

You felt slight movements in his arms as he reached for a pillow, pulling it under both of your heads, and you could just barely reach the blanket with your fingertips, enough to pull it over your bodies without disturbing the careful connection you kept with each other.

The sleep came so easily. You felt full. You felt whole.

The morning came so suddenly. You woke up in almost the exact same position as you fell asleep in, minus the man who was inside of you. He was located in a tangle of blankets elsewhere on this big bed.

You felt less than awesome. You had a very significant and familiar soreness all over your body; the kind that told you that you’d had some of the best sex of your life the night before. But you were also sticky and pretty gross feeling all over; but mostly between your legs and on the dried stiff feeling bed sheets below you.

Your stirring must have awoken Baekhyun who let out a soft moan from somewhere buried under the blanket. That first moan led to a second one and you caught movement as his fingertips pulled the blanket down to uncover his sleepy and squinting face.

“Morning

Baby

,” he said in a low voice at least four octaves below his usual speaking voice and it took him a few moments of slowly opening and closing his eyes before he was awake enough to move.

“Ahh,” he complained the second he moved, his face winced and scrunched up in something that looked like half pain, half disgust. “Ahh, oh no — it’s stuck,” he said quietly with a slight hint of alarm in his voice.

“What? Stuck?”

“Shhh…”

He was focusing on something below the blanket. Something that required his attention. You watched and waited quite curiously and after a moment he sighed out a breath and turned to look into your eyes with a sheepish smile. “I’m okay now. My dick was stuck to my thigh,” he said softly with a laugh that consisted of a single chuckle, followed by a groan from deep within his chest.

“Ohhh….oh I’m sore.” He was half giggling, half wincing from it. His sweet laughter brought out the same in you only with each short laugh you could feel the remnants of last night between your legs. It felt terrible and only fueled the hopeless laughter.

“I’m sore too,” you said through your little giggles, “and I slept in the wet spot.” Your lips pulled into a dramatic frown and his eyes widened before he was shaking the bed with his stifled laughter. “The bed’s all crusty below me.” Baekhyun laughed again with his belly this time and he winced at the same time.

“Oh no! Not the wet spot!” He was still giggling but you could tell that while it was very funny to him, he also meant no sarcasm at all in his reaction, “That’s so gross. My poor baby.”

A quick examination of yourself in his bathroom that morning alerted you to a few things of note. You found about 10 individual sex related marks on your body. Most of them on your trunk and abdomen, a few on your inner thighs, one good sized hickey on your right breast, completely visible should you decide to show any cleavage at all for the next five days. Another thing you found right when you vacated his bed and made your way to the bathroom for a short bit of privacy, and much to your very own surprise, was about three strands of blonde hair still tangled in between your fingers.

You did not mention them to him. Instead you busied yourself with showering off every last bit of last night’s aftereffects from your skin and getting dressed for the busy day at work. You’d opted for one of the business outfits Baekhyun had bought for you, all the while catching glimpses of your boyfriend doing the same. Showering, shaving the very little bits of stubble he was actually able to grow on his chin, fixing his hair that was just a little less full because of you, buttoning up a crisp dress shirt and catching every one of your stolen glances with his pretty smile, a blown kiss, or a playful wink.

The air around you both seemed to change the moment you both pulled on the final pieces of your professional suits. You really did look good together. You had sort of a power couple vibe as you walked out the door of that bedroom together.

Inside the elevator you took a small sip of the travel cup of coffee that was handed to you by someone working inside that big house and you tasted what was probably the best tasting cup of coffee you’d ever had in your entire life and your mood was about as elevated as it could be. You caught sight of your reflection in the stainless steel walls of this private elevator. It was garbled and distorted but you did a quick check of the buttons of your dress shirt, making sure it was closed up tight to hide the big red mark there.

“Assistant Byun,” you said softly, padding the button with your fingertips. He turned his eyes over to you as the elevator dinged and opened its doors.

“Do you know how many hickeys I found all over my body this morning? At least ten.” You said it in your business voice and you heard the stifled chuckle erupt from his chest.

“Miss Manager,” he said with a hand inside his pocket, fidgeting with the key fob he kept in there. “Do you know how many strands of my hair I found in the bed this morning? At least twenty.” He pulled his lips into a wince and shook his head dramatically in disapproval.

You felt the laughter push up your chest but you held your breath to keep it contained.

“Well that’s very rude,” you said softly with a falsely offended tone, lifting a hand to lay over your chest. “You’re very rude, Assistant Byun.” Baekhyun laughed noisily but just kept walking ahead of you toward his car.

“Someone should fire you,” you called out behind him and he laughed again as he pulled the passenger door open and motioned with his hand for you to just get in already.

You climbed into the seat and fastened your seat belt. Right before the door closed noisily though, you heard him mumble his response. “

Baby

, you can’t fire me. I own the company.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Maybe it was the expensive clothes you were wearing. Maybe it was the understated, quiet luxury of the handbag you walked through that office door carrying. Could it be the shoes? Surely the casual observer couldn’t have noticed the bright red soles of the brand new

Louboutins

on your feet as you walked.

Perhaps there was some extra oxygen filling up your chest somehow making you carry yourself with an added bit of confidence; making you feel as if you could float away with even the slightest breeze.

You felt as if you were a completely different person. You felt as if the others could tell. It couldn’t just all be happening inside of your head either because you caught evidence of some reactions to you; little things. Tiny double takes as you walked by. Slight widening of eyes when you entered your meetings; slight twinges in the expressions of their faces; barely detectable save for how very aware of yourself and of all of them you felt inside of your skin right now.

So much was new. So much felt different.

You were, in very new and very real ways, very suddenly and unequivocally
… somebody’s.

And that somebody he was — he was yours too.

It had a taste to it — it was rich and sweet and secretive and quick. A fresh baked cookie swiped when Mom’s back was turned. Hasty kisses stolen behind heavy wooden doors and brushes of warm fingertips over the back of a hand as you walked by. The whispered lean of a warm shoulder against your own as you both stood in an elevator; surrounded by people; acutely aware of the rhythm of only eachother’s breathing.

A smell like very early morning just before dawn on Christmas Day; the smell of pine and cinnamon and the crisp chill of snow outside, like hiding at the top of the stairs to catch a forbidden glimpse of Santa Claus.

Warm brown eyes from across a hectic room touched into yours again and again. You knew you were staring. You had very little control over it though. This was so very unlike you. Baekhyun was as busy as you had been. The project was wrapping today and loose ends had to be tied up. Final documents had to be submitted to clients. Plus he had been training his replacement on all of his tasks and duties. Tomorrow would be the wrap party. You could hardly wait to unclench. You’d have some drinks with your team and you’d even get to dance. Maybe you could get away with a dance or two with your soon to be ex-assistant without drawing too many curious gazes.

You could dance together one or twice, couldn’t you? You could stand to be held in his arms and swung around the dance floor without leaning in too close or gazing too deeply into his deep brown eyes as you did it, right?

You did your absolute best to look at something else; at anything else.

Those deep brown eyes had found yours once again. Again and again, he found you. Maybe it wasn’t only you who had been staring at him as he showed Assistant Cha the ropes; as he leaned in and spoke very closely with her; as he told her things that made her head roll back and big belly laughs erupted from her bosom that shook like jelly when she laughed dramatically with her whole body.

She reached a hand out and her fingertips touched lightly along his forearm; making contact for a fraction of a second — no more time than the width of a strand of hair. Not enough time of actual contact to warrant any sort of comment about it at all. It was not even any real touch on his skin even; she got his shirt sleeve. This was nothing. This certainly wasn’t anything that warranted such a ridiculously detailed description inside the ever-present internal monologue that played through your head when you thought about this man. It could hardly even be called a touch, really.

Still…she touched his arm. She laughed and giggled and smiled a sickeningly sweet smile at him and you knew, you knew what it felt like to look at him and talk to him and feel that attraction and desire and lust and want. You knew of the kinds of irrational and impossible fantasies that would fly through her head at the very thought of just one of her desperate touches being returned by him.

You could not blame her. He was beautiful.

He moved his arm down and away; probably purposefully. He was reaching for something and just before he spoke, just before his movement nagged at her focus and pulled her dreamy eyes away from his pretty face and down onto what he had to show her, just before his focus dropped to the papers or notebooks or tablet or whatever the hell it was that he held inside his hand, you had them once more; those deep brown eyes that looked into yours from across this space; those brown eyes of his that found yours again and again no matter where you were and no matter where he was — it was like a magnet. He looked at you and you looked at him and the sound and the commotion and the ever present din inside of this busy workspace fell weirdly silent to your own ears.

You had to stop this.

You pulled your focus away from the two of them and you looked around the room at your team. It took so much effort to do.

With the exception of one person, the entire team was immersed in their own tasks. There was a bittersweet vibe in the air and each and every one of these people, to the very end, was giving it their all.

As your eyes made their way around to each desk, glimpsing lightly over its occupant, you reached a person who’s presence had been so familiar to you that you only half jumped to find her looking right at you.

Sandi, a senior member of your translating team and the person who occupied the seat closest to your office door, the person who had worked with you for probably the longest out of all of the group, who you had shared many long nights with over the course of your career, Sandi was watching you with a quiet amusement on her face.

You met her eyes with as much strength and fortitude as you could manage but you admittedly felt a bit taken aback to have had her attention during this time; this time when you foolishly had assumed no one could possibly be paying any attention to you.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting. Perhaps a small smile in your direction and maybe she would resume her work. Or maybe she was watching you because she had a question for you. You strengthened the eye contact with Sandi and lifted your eyebrows in question. Doing your absolute best to keep any guilty expressions from manifesting in your eyes.

You definitely hadn’t expected the next words that came out of her mouth.

“You should stop watching them. She doesn’t hold a candle—“ she began out loud but just as suddenly as she spoke, her words halted abruptly as she closed up her mouth with a start, shaking her head in quick shallow passes. The small self-satisfied smile that had been coloring her lips before she opened her mouth had now slipped away and her eyes widened as she turned her head away from you; averting her eyes. She lifted a hand to cover over her mouth, clearly surprised that she would say such a thing out loud.

Sandi may have been surprised by herself, but you felt blindsided. You felt your mouth go dry and a spindly tingling slowly crept up the back of your neck.

She knew.

Sandi knew.

You felt sick.

The panic that surged through you was swift and complete and it took your breath and what was left of your rational mind.

Without your mind working, all you could manage was to stare down at the girl in silence until you exhaled a purposefully slow breath through your mouth. She had both of her hands over her parted lips and she was reeling. You felt similarly but thankfully years of working through impossible and stressful situations where your facial expression mattered, kept the reeling happening inside of you where it should stay.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry, Miss Manager. I didn’t mean—”

“Sandi — come see me in my office, please.”

Sandi knew you better than most. You’d worked closely beside her for so many years, if anyone would have noticed the obvious change in you since you’d met Baekhyun it would be Sandi. It made the most sense that she would have noticed something was going on. But still, you felt blindsided by this revelation. It wasn’t that you didn't trust the woman, you did. If anyone in this office was going to know such a damning secret about you, it might as well be Sandi.

You felt guilty. You felt very much in the wrong. You’d always strived to set such a good example to your team members and here you’d been caught red-handed, having done such a thing with your direct subordinate of all people, with your assistant! Yes, yes you had already processed his transfer, met with his new team lead, you were doing your absolute best to remove Baekhyun from any and every position beside you, beneath you, any connection to you as quickly as you possibly could. But the fact remained, you were in direct violation of company policy. You should have come clean to HR the second you’d realized just how inappropriate the professional relationship with Baekhyun had turned to have him transferred out that very day.

But you had been weak.

You had delayed it; torn by the very thought of losing him from your side and now…now someone knew. What if she had the wrong idea? What if she thought you used your influence over him to coerce him into the relationship? What if she thought it was one sided, or what if she used this new-found information to hold over you?

You shook your head back and forth as she walked through the doorway of your office and quietly closed the door behind her. Her head was downcast and she moved slowly through the space to take a seat beside where you sat with your hands clenched together in your lap on the small sofa in the center of the room.

“Miss Manager, I really didn’t mean anything bad by what I said. I was just thinking out loud and it slipped out.” She began quickly, as soon you felt the cushion dip when she sat down.

“Can you tell me what you meant by it?” You kept your voice low and careful as you replayed her words again in your mind, a quiet disbelief dancing along the edges of your memory. Maybe you heard her wrong, or maybe she didn't mean it exactly as it sounded to you. Maybe your guilty conscience had you running when nothing was even chasing you.

She didn't speak for a few moments and you swallowed the moisture inside your mouth, lifted your head and looked around the clean space of your office.

“You said that I can stop watching them, who do you think I was watching?” You probed again, realizing that your face, which was angled away from her now, might have not been as in control as usual. You could feel the dampness in your eyes and you blinked quickly.

“Baekhyun and Assistant Cha. Nothing is going on there. There is nothing to worry about. I’m on your side, by the way — both of you.”

You had confirmed it.

She knew.

You felt your steady resolve crumble with the deep sigh of defeat that left your chest and the oxygen leaving your lungs pulled your eyelids closed until all of the light was shut out for a moment. Just for a moment.

You only needed one moment.

“How did you know?” The delicacy of your words, tantamount to a confession, balanced lightly on the tip of your tongue. Your voice sounded so much smaller than you were used to hearing from yourself.

Her reply did not come instantly but the delay in her response, you knew, was more imagined by your own sense of urgency than in anything she was doing. Still, you were impatient to know; enough to turn your gaze from the safety of the silent bookshelf full of items you had owned and controlled for years to look anxiously upon the expressions written on her face and the unpredictable and uncontrollable harsh truths you might find in her eyes.

“Does anyone else know?” You whispered another quiet question, despite the fact that she hadn’t answered the first one yet.

Her eyes watched your face and in them you saw a lightness and warmth. On her lips was the smallest sweet smile that brought you back again to the woman you knew so well; the woman you had worked with closely over the years on several projects, through countless sleepless nights, tirelessly and side by side. The valuable member of your team who proved herself to be trustworthy and reliable. The woman you sought out first when something needed to be handled discreetly and quickly.

She was watching your face and she inhaled a small breath to speak.

“I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who could possibly know,” she said with that soft smile still inside her warm eyes. She was reaching into her pocket to pull out her cellphone and you looked down at her illuminated screen as she opened up an app. It was Instagram. She clicked a few times and eventually landed on a profile that was familiar. It was Baekhyun’s account and a few harmless pictures down his feed, her fingers stopped scrolling when she reached something that you knew would be a picture he had posted one of the nights he’d spent in your bed.

It was an innocuous shot of his hand holding your hand with only an alarm clock visible in the background. The time read 02:16 A.M. and it sat atop a wooden bedside table. Nothing else was in focus. The background of the picture was blurred beyond recognition with only a hazy outline of the very tip of the tail of your darkened bird lamp but definitely not anything that was recognizable about it. Neither of you wore any jewelry that might possibly come back to you. You looked at the words he wrote below the image —

‘I die for any little bit of you, my love.’ —

and while yes, it had filled you with butterflies and made you kick and scream under your covers in secret when you saw what he wrote, for the purposes of Sandi identifying you from just this— was she a witch? How could she possibly have known?

There was nothing there. Nothing that pointed to you so conclusively that she would present this evidence to you with such conviction.

“From his posts, I knew he was seeing someone, but when I saw this, it suddenly made sense — how you could have changed so much since he joined. Anyway, I bought you that clock as a Secret Santa gift last year. So obviously I would be the only one to recognize it. I am glad to see you still use it.”

“Would you believe me if I said I gave the clock away to my sister, so that couldn’t possibly be me in the picture?”

You said it jokingly; feeling as if a switch had been flipped with Sandi since she knew something so very damning about you. What authority and respect? This woman saw and knew too much. You now had a confidant and maybe even a friend. Oh no! What if you had to transfer her to another department too? You couldn’t keep losing your best people like this just because you couldn’t keep your work life separated from your personal life.

You honestly felt as if you’d lost all control in this job the moment that man walked through your office door on his first day of work.

“You don’t have a sister.”

“Right,” you conceded quickly.

“Miss Manager,” Sandi began after a few moments, “you don’t need to feel so guilty about this. I really don’t think either of you have done anything wrong. And isn’t that why he’s being transferred so suddenly? To avoid any problems with the company.”

“And let me guess. He made the first move, right? I’m certain of it. I noticed how he looks at you. Since last year even.”

“Last year? You knew him from before this project?”

“You don’t remember him? He was interning with Manager Jung Ho. Ahhh maybe it was the red hair and the glasses.”

Sandi still had her phone out and was scrolling again, this time through her own photo albums that went back through the years. You recognized yourself in many of the shots. Candid pictures as you both worked, a few of the group laughing together as the team unwound after some particularly hectic days. Her scrolling stopped abruptly and you looked down to where she touched with her index finger on a pretty boy with wavy red hair, wearing round gold wire glasses and standing literally right beside you, his eyes looking at you while you were about as busy as could be focusing on putting out several fires at once.

“Here he is. Always following around Miss Manager Noona. Always staring at Miss Manager Noona and talking about Miss Manager Noona. He was so annoying,” she said with a hearty laugh. She scrolled again and image after image showed a similar scene, Baekhyun taking stolen glances at you and you with your mind so occupied at the time you didn’t even remember him. The more pictures you saw of the young red-head with the glasses the more the actual memories of him popped into your mind.

He was bright and chipper and you never did catch his name at the time. He was noisy and full of laughter and full of life and you…well, you had a dark storm cloud hanging over your head back then. Last year was a hard year for you. You had some professional failures that you still dwelled on and some even worse personal failures involving one relationship that still burned you to think about. You’d nearly given up on all things romance at the time; sworn off men forever with their lies and their cheating ways. It was no wonder your eyes had been so blind to the entire person standing beside you; rooting for you; building you up as he had done back then.

You remembered him more as you looked at the pictures. Now his face was so recognizable to you, after you had fallen in love with everything about him, you’d even be able to spot him with bright blue hair and a fake mustache on. But apparently all it had taken was a pair of glasses and a wavy red perm.

“I can’t believe he pulled a Superman-Clark Kent on me — ohhhh…look at how cute he was!” You cooed right out loud.
A momentary lapse made you forget where you were and as soon as the sickeningly saccharine words left your lips you lifted a hand to cover over your parted lips.

She laughed out loud , “Oh no, you’ve got it bad. You’ll invite me to the wedding, won’t you?”

She was joking when she said it but you closed up your mouth and pulled both of your lips between your teeth, biting down to try and keep from doing something stupid like squealing from the pent up excitement you felt when you thought about marrying him. Your strong reaction was yet another confession. She had gone motionless the moment you didn't laugh it off as just a funny joke.

“Of course you are invited,” you whispered just under your breath and her laughter quit suddenly, her lips hung open, and her eyes widened significantly.

“Oh my god. What? What?!” She was whispering, but it was a very loud and very excited sounding whisper. “Are you serious?”

You felt her hands grip around your upper arms and she gave you a good shake. It made the laughter break free from your chest and you were giggling now. It was useless to fight it. You could feel the excitement building the more she shook you and the louder her whispering giggles grew. You lifted both hands to cover over your face as your entire body shook with laughter.

You gave into it; the joy and anticipation that her genuine excitement brought out of you and by the time you heard the soft two knocks on your office door you had to wipe away moisture from your eyes from giggling so much before you could compose yourself enough to call out to whoever was knocking that the door was unlocked and they could come in.

The door was pushed and a familiar head of blond hair poked inside just before you saw the rest of his face.

“Miss Manager,” Baekhyun spoke cautiously with his face carefully controlled as he said it. Not even any flirtatious tones hidden in a sweet grin or a secret wink. He was on his best behavior today with so many witnesses around. You hadn’t had a single pointed look from him in hours. It had been at least two hours since you felt the warmth of his fingertips on the skin of the back of your hand. It had been a solid hour since he had looked into your eyes for longer than thirty seconds and allowed those eyes to slip down and steal a glance at your lips.

“You have a meeting upstairs in five,” he said and he pushed the door open further. You could make out Assistant Cha standing just behind him; a thick and heavily scribbled notebook held up to her chest with both of her arms wrapped tightly around it as if it carried all of the secrets of her very new and scary universe.

You nodded your head to the pair of them and quickly gathered your end-of-project meeting materials.

Sandi was excusing herself quietly; if not rather slowly. You caught the lingering examination she gave to Baekhyun as she made her way around the sofa you both had been squealing on moments earlier and seemed to be taking her time with the exit. If he noticed anything amiss, he didn't make it known, but after a few moments of her looking into his face she simply nodded her head once, smiled a sweet smile in his direction and said a quick, “Okay, okay. I can see it. I could have sworn you used to wear glasses.”

You bit down on the side of your tongue to suppress any remaining giggles.

Baekhyun’s eyes danced around her face for a moment in mild confusion and he frowned his lips with a tiny pout, inhaling lightly and parting his lips to respond. But before he could offer any explanation she turned her head back in your direction, gave you a small wave of her hand and a quick, “See you at the wrap party, Miss Manager,” and she then was gone.

You’d made it half of the way through the rows of cubicles when a tap on your shoulder halted your steps and pulled your attention behind you. You recognized that the person calling you was Baekhyun and your eyes were pulled down toward his hand in which he held a small post-it note.

“Excuse me, Miss Manager, I think you dropped this,” he said as he pushed the small folded-in-half piece of colorful paper into the palm of your hand. You knew you must have had a questioning look inside your eyes, at least for the first few seconds of this, but you quickly recovered with a nod and a quiet thank-you on your lips. You slipped the paper inside the pocket of your blazer.

As your legs moved, you noticed that Baekhyun and Assistant Cha held back some, and your curiosity about the small token from your boyfriend felt absolutely itchy. It was as if that small note was pulsing as it called to you from inside your pocket. You slipped your hand in and pulled it out, glancing around quickly to take note of the fact that no one around was paying you any attention at all and with Baekhyun’s steps so far behind you figured no one would mind if you read whatever little details might have been written just for you on this note.

‘I miss you today. You are right here and I miss you to death. I am being so brave about it. You can compliment me about it later, if you want.

P.S. Which season do you like best?’

You silently slipped the note back inside your pocket with a lovely little tap over the fabric to make sure it was secure. You felt as if this elevator you stood inside was carrying you straight into the clouds above this building. He probably couldn't text you freely because of the close proximity of his shadow, Assistant Cha. Or maybe he just wanted to hand you this adorable little note as a physical token of his affection; something you could hold in your hand and lightly touch with the tip of your finger. You half wondered if you should just text him back the answer to his question.

Instead you held your finger over the elevator button to keep it open long enough for the pair of assistants to finally join you inside and you caught the briefest touch of his brown eyes as he stepped inside.

His eyes did not linger. Yours did not chase but you did feel the distinct presence of the warmth of his body as he stepped into the space directly behind you. There were no secret touches or hidden attempts to reach for you inside this space. The high speed elevator surged up quickly; its destination was amongst the upper floors and with the abrupt movement you rocked lightly on your legs to keep your balance. You reached a hand out to rest it over the bar and a glance to your right, just over your shoulder afforded you the view of a familiar hand doing the same. Long slender fingers flexed once outward in your direction, but his hand did not move any closer to you and eventually those fingers simply wrapped around the silver pole for the remainder of the elevator ride.

You would not let your fingers leave his skin tonight.

You’d had your fill of denial.

The meeting was typical for this stage of a project. You paid exactly enough attention as you needed to. Your presentation showcased your team’s successes and honestly, although you didn’t tend to toot your own horn, your own performance looked incredibly impressive as well. Although with such a capable team it was hard not to look incredible. You gave credit where credit was due as you always did and as the other managers and directors said their parts you pulled out a small note pad from your bag and began penning a response to your boyfriend. You did your best to keep your face from showing too much but you could feel the elation pulling your lips into a small smile as you drew the little sad faced emoji in the middle of the note.

‘You are very brave, and doing so much better than I am. I got caught staring at you today. :( Sandi knows now.

P.S. I like the fall. Winter is too cold, Spring is too sneezy, and Summer is too hot. Although you kissed me in the summertime so I like it now too.

P.P.S. I remember you now, from Jung Ho’s project. I didn’t know you wore glasses.

P.P.P.S. It’s not fair for you to look so handsome in every hair color. ’

You stopped writing when you ran out of space. This all could have gone so much smoother in a text message, but there was something magical about writing all of this out in a note to secretly pass to him in person.

Your meeting ended and there was another meeting coming up just after lunch. Your busy schedule and the ever present assembly of people around you didn’t give you any opportunities to pass on the note. And when you would have normally both found yourselves alone with each other, now there was an entirely new person around with her own set of eyes, watching and learning all sorts of things about her new position. And hopefully just that.

She was fine. You could tell that Baekhyun was right about her. She would do well and she would succeed in her new role. You would come to depend on her and appreciate her too. Maybe even the strange undeserved bitterness you felt when you looked at her pretty young face would fade.

But now, you wished she had some other place she desperately had to be.

You found your chance just after lunch when Assistant Cha had departed to the bathrooms. You spotted Baekhyun leaning against a pillar on the ground floor checking the time on his watch, looking about as handsome as could be in his suit and ignoring the many curious glances from various ladies and men who walked by him. He seemed to be waiting for something and you slipped closer to where he stood, careful not to be spotted as you made your way around the other side of the pillar.

You’d reached a hand out to tap on his shoulder at the exact moment that a ping sounded out on his cell phone and he moved out of the way just as your fingers extended so that they touched nothing. You felt a little silly.

While you felt a tinge of disappointment that you’d missed your chance, you also felt a surge of mild curiosity about what he was up to. He made his way toward the security turnstiles and met with a run-of-the mill food delivery man who handed him a small black bag from a local bakery down the block. You’d recognized the logo of one of your favorite shops that had the absolute best fruit tarts you’d ever had and a chocolate cake slice that you’d just about sell your soul for.

He was walking back with his head and his focus turned down into the small bag and you spun on your heels behind your pillar so he would not see you stalking him.

Your feet moved lightly, feeling like you were in some sort of spy movie as you moved along with him, yet just out of his sight as he made his way toward the elevator. The button was pressed, the lights illuminated and after a few moments the soft ding let you know that he would be stepping forward into that quiet space. What kind of deal with the devil did you have to make for that elevator to be empty?

He stepped inside and you held back. You counted in your head just a few times before moving and just as the doors were closing you slipped inside the space, earning the quiet gasp from the very center of his chest when he saw you.

It was empty. You had him alone for a few seconds at least.

“Excuse me, Assistant Byun, I think you dropped this.” You did your best impression of him and held up the little colorful note you had with a cheeky smile that he returned instantly as he reached out quick fingertips to grab the note.

Baekhyun wasted no time. His fingers pulled the small sheet apart and his mouth moved as he silently formed the words of your message with his lips.

“Oh my god,” he gasped quietly; having absorbed the bad news from the note first, “Sandi knows? How?”

“She’s a better detective than Batman,” you shrugged rather casually. Both because you trusted Sandi and you figured if you weren’t freaking out about this, then maybe he would take it in stride as well. “She showed me some pictures of you from last year.”

“Did she?” His lips were pulled into a smile and you caught the little lift of his chin and the scrunch of his nose.

You nodded twice, acutely aware of how telling the smile on your face must look to him. “I remember you. I didn't know your name though. But you looked very cute with the little glasses and the hair,” you lifted a hand to make a waving motion with your fingers above your own head. “Did you get LASIK? Where are the glasses?”

He was reaching a hand out to press a button on the elevator panel and his eyes narrowed slightly as he pursed his lips.

“Oh, that was just fashion. They never had any lenses in them. I have perfect vision.”

His clarification made you laugh out loud. You leaned against the back wall of the elevator and looked into his face freely, feeling every bit of the affection and attraction you had for the man fill up your chest with contentment. At last, you had a moment alone with him. You could look at him. You could stare at him and you could daydream and you could let every single recent memory of the love you shared with him flood your mind freely in this shared space without onlookers or witnesses.

Baekhyun leaned against the side wall, doing just about the exact same thing to you and when his head leaned back against the elevator wall his eyelids sank down half closed, his jaw relaxed, and his lips parted with a slow exhale of air from deep within his lungs.

“I wish I could touch you,” he whispered under his breath.

“Me too,” you confessed, “stupid cameras,” you added without breaking eye contact with him; although you did let your head fall some to rest against the back wall.

“I’ll kiss you in the wintertime,” he said with a smile pulling at his lips, “so you don't feel the cold so much.” His sweet words and that pretty smile pulled a matching smile from you. You lifted a hand to cover over your mouth, tapping lightly over your lips with your fingertips.

“Let’s have a winter wedding,” he said.

“This winter? So soon?” You didn’t hear any objection in your voice. Only curiosity.

He nodded and blinked his eyes slowly; a truly dreamy expression taking over his features.

“We can honeymoon somewhere without pollen and I will kiss you in the springtime.”

You couldn’t stand it. You felt ready to burst right here inside this elevator; just from his sweet, romantic promises that coated you from head to toe.

In the recesses of your mind; in the bargaining parts, you could hear the questions parading by.

What if you reached a hand out and pressed the button for the ground floor on this elevator panel. What if you pulled him by the shirt sleeve — didn’t give a good damn about who saw — and marched him right out of this office building, out onto the street, and hailed a cab destined for your apartment. What if you said screw who knew the truth, screw the wrap and the endless droning meetings, screw this job. What if you took him home and you locked both of you inside your home for a month straight. Nothing but the two of you and the privacy you would find in that bedroom.

“I miss you,” he said softly under his breath with his eyes still locked onto your face. Your mind had been wandering but his words pulled you back into yourself.

“I’m right here,” you said with a small smile, blinking your eyes slowly and purposefully in his direction again and again, as if you could send him a message with their movement —

I love you, I love you, I love you

— your eyelids called out to him.

“I miss you, though,” he said again with a long exhale from his lungs. “What am I going to do next week when I can't look up and see you whenever I want?”

The elevator slowed its rapid upward movement and you could feel it in your stomach as it slowed to a stop. Someone must be joining; you hadn’t yet reached your destination but it appeared that someone would come and interrupt this. Damn them. A soft ding let you know the doors were about to open. Your few moments of alone time with him was coming to an end.

Baekhyun was still talking though; still lost inside his own head and caught up in the dread of the upcoming changes you both would need to adjust to.

“I sound pathetic, don’t I?” You had to look away from his face but from your peripherals you caught the small step he took in your direction as he moved closer to you.

“Baekhyun, someone is coming in.” You didn’t have time to reassure him that this feeling he was going through was not something he was alone in. You also felt the loneliness and the ache to touch him. You were also feeling the sense of dread for the upcoming weeks without him by your side.

But right now was not the time. Not with this camera above both of your heads and the elevator doors about to open and whoever it was that had called the elevator was about to walk in.

A few simultaneous sensations happened. You could feel the jolt as the elevator came to a full stop and, at the same time, Baekhyun’s soft fingertips brushed against the back of your hand. He had taken another step it seemed and he was beside you; his wandering hand reaching down to run a slow path over your skin down the back of your hand. You felt the moment his fingers wrapped around your palm and slipped lower as each fingertip slipped just in-between your own fingers.

You had to pull away. The doors opened.

You pulled your hand out of his grip quickly, if not a bit forcefully, and you stepped away at the same time; putting a good two steps worth of distance between the two of you. You brought your hands in front of you and clasped them together and you looked up just in time to make eye contact with a terrifyingly familiar set of brown eyes. Brown eyes that bore a strikingly frightening resemblance to the very same brown eyes that had been burning a hole into your heart all day long.

You were sure the first few moments of the eye contact, you had a look of absolute panic. You were certain he would have seen fear in your eyes.

You did your best to push a smile to your face. Inside of your chest your heartbeat had jolted to life, sending thundering booms through your entire torso. You felt the trembling from it. You swallowed nervously and you could hardly hear your own words from your lips over the echo of your racing heart inside of your eardrums.

“President Byun,” you said softly; wincing internally at just how terrified you sounded as you said his name. “Lovely to see you, Sir.”

Your greeting earned you a curt head nod and his eyes immediately moved to touch upon his son’s face.

“What floor?” You were closest to the buttons and you inhaled through your parted lips and forced the air back out slowly, desperately hoping your question hadn’t sounded stupid. He was the president and every one knew his offices occupied the top floor.

“Top?” Your finger hovered over the button and your nervous question another swift nod of his head. He spared you only a fraction of his attention before he was standing beside Baekhyun, who kept his eyes fixed securely on the closing elevator doors.

The doors closed and you stepped back, holding your hands together in front of your abdomen so they wouldn't tremble and give away the raging anxiety that was surging through you right now.

You hadn’t been ready for this. You knew seeing his father again after all that had transpired between you and Baekhyun would bring some strong emotions but you were having about as strong a reaction as you could take quietly. It was the suddenness of this.

You kind of just wanted to run away from this. Yet you were trapped inside this moving box with these two men who hadn’t spoken a word to each other despite sharing a familial bond, sharing a bloodline, sharing a home for most of Baekhyun’s life, you couldn't help but notice that Baekhyun hadn’t even said hello to the man. Nor had the man said anything to his son, but the two of them merely stood side by side in this elevator and looked ahead with blank and passive faces.

You felt a tickle in your throat. It was the nerves. You fought the urge to cough and quickly realized it was useless and you turned your head a little and cleared your throat, trying to rid yourself of the annoying feeling without actually coughing inside a closed elevator in a time when coughing in public was a major faux pas.

The sound of your own throat cleaning was timed perfectly with the sound of President Byun’s feet as he took a single step forward so that he was standing ahead of the both of you and he inhaled a breath into his lungs to speak out loud into the space right in front of his face.

“I have received some very interesting news this morning,” President Byun said in a steady and confident voice without any flinching in his body language to favor one side of him or another. There was nothing given to indicate that he was speaking to any one of you in particular.

“What is that, Sir,” Baekhyun said; at last acknowledging his father. You couldn't find the nerve to get your own voice to work. You held your breath and tried your best to keep your breathing steady and even. You felt the slight pain in the back of your hand as your nails gripped hard into your own flesh.

He didn’t turn around to look at either of you when he spoke again, he merely inhaled a breath, opened his mouth and dropped a bomb right on top of both of your heads.

“I heard that you think … that you’re getting married.”

[To Be Continued]

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You were the kind of person who worked very well under pressure. It was written all over your résumé and unlike some others who claimed this trait and then folded like paper under the slightest bit of stress; you actually did work very well under pressure.

The career kind of pressure.

The pressure involving deadlines and all-hands on deck scenarios in which you needed to perform flawlessly and harness every innate professional skill you’d perfected over the years so well that you could rely on trusting your gut with every move and you actually saw results. You could handle anything, professionally; you were not one to back down from any challenge you were presented with and you did not waver or cower in the face of great adversary.

Baekhyun had gone motionless beside you. From the corner of your eye you could see the way he clenched down hard on his jaw and judging from how very still his chest was, it didn't seem like he was breathing.

Your mind half registered the elevator stopping at your floor, only you did not make any moves to exit.

You watched the back of President Byun’s head, frozen by what you could only describe as abject panic coursing through your every vein. It was a new feeling to you. You felt paralyzed as you stared at the graying strands of his hair and you begged and pleaded that perhaps you had simply misheard him.

You did not have a plan for this. This was a new and terrifying kind of pressure you had never experienced before.

President Byun, Baekhyun’s father and your boss — not your direct superior by any stretch of your imagination but

the

boss, the

big

boss, the boss to end all bosses of your entire professional existence up until this point, that President Byun — he had just dropped an atom bomb on top of your head in this tiny box that was hurling you away from the earth up toward his golden towers in the sky, he had just called you out for your sins against him, your sins against him and your sins again his precious and dearest child. His son who he’d breathed life into when he brought him into this world and had handed over to you to nurture and to care for and you had what? Seduced your way into his life; made him fall in love with you…

What would the man think of you?

A harlot? A threat to the Byun family name? A gold digger? There was plenty of his hard earned and life long suffering gold to dig for; but would any amount of your begging and pleading arguments even begin to touch at the surface of just how much you weren’t after any of the fortune? You did not care one bit about it. You had made your way in this world just fine so far on your own merit alone and you could continue in this way forever for all you cared.

But Baekhyun… never in your entire existence had you felt this kind of love for another human being.

Would you just have to give him up?

You would not survive such a blow. You’d just as easily give up your career than give this man up. Just the thought of spending a lifetime without him in it made that prospective life worthless to you.

The elevator had halted. It had reached the end of the line and the doors dinged softly seconds before they pulled open and your eyes caught the tasteful red patterned plush carpet that lined the top floor of this building. None of the other floors had this kind of luxury that gave with a bounce underneath your feet as you walked.

It was a different world entirely up here.

“See me in my office, in one hour.” You flinched when his strong booming voice called out into the hollow space of this elevator right before a shift in his balance indicated that he was leaving you both behind in here. You still could not be sure he was speaking to you both or only to Baekhyun, but there was something that felt a bit like a guillotine’s chop that struck against you hard when you caught movement in his face as he angled his focus just slightly in your direction for one more strike, “You might as well come too,” he added before he was gone.

You managed a quiet whisper before the doors moved. A “Yes, Sir” somehow came out of your parted lips.

The doors closed up and neither of you moved.

Your eyes wandered over the space before you. The illuminated lights overhead that told you this contraption was still sitting at the top floor; not yet called on by any other travelers and not told where to head by either of the two occupants still standing inside of it. The shiny doors now in their closed position showed very clear scratch marks from the years of opening and closing again and again. The panel with all of its numbers and at the bottom, the red alarm button that would connect you with someone, with anyone, who might be able to help you in the most dire of situations you found yourself trapped in. Did they help with disasters of your own making?

You extended your hand and you noticed the visible tremble in your fingers as you pointed your index finger and lightly ran it over that red alarm button; genuinely wondering what kinds of emergencies they were equipped to help with.

A movement pulled you out of the quiet trance you’d been stuck inside, and a hand with slim fingers reached forward into your field of vision.

His fingers pressed a familiar number and then his hand traveled down to lay lightly over your hand. His hand moved slowly over the back of yours and he wrapped his fingers around your hand and squeezed down just enough for you to pull your eyes away from the red alarm button and seek him out.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly; his brown eyes looking into your own with a myriad of emotions surging through them. Concern. Guilt. Worry. He blinked once and broke eye contact, looking down at his feet as he bit down on his bottom lip and furrowed his eyebrows.

“I’m going to be fired.”

Baekhyun shook his head back and forth, lightly at first but harder as he got going; with a deep inhale into his lungs, his face lifted and he looked into your eyes once more as he shook his head with more conviction.

“No,” he said, “No, you won’t.”

You watched his face and felt the effect of the stress you were feeling pulling at your stomach, making you ache from the inside. You closed up your eyes and felt the smallest tug at your hand as he shook you lightly to beg for your attention again.

You gave in to him with his next words.

“This is just a negotiation. We have an important meeting in an hour — for a negotiation. We’ve had plenty of those, right?”

It took you a moment to hear him through the haze you felt in your mind but after a few seconds you nodded your head in agreement. Maybe you could get through it with this kind of mindset.

He inhaled to speak again, “Now…we have to prepare for the meeting.”

You found yourself seated on the sofa in your office. Assistant Cha had been sent away on some insane photocopying mission crafted by Baekhyun that was likely to keep her occupied for hours, and although you had wished for it all day long, having some alone time with Baekhyun inside your office now, felt about as joyous as planning a funeral.

During your discussion with him, he seemed to overlook the ‘how’ for now — he was less concerned with how President Byun came to know of this incriminating information; brushing it aside as a mere detail that would be dealt with later, and he was fixated on the ‘what’ as in Baekhyun seemed convinced that his father, master businessman that he was, actually knew far less than the brief encounter in the elevator suggested.

“I’m not convinced he knows it’s you,” he urged.

“Why does he want to see me in his office, then?” You countered and he only shook his head with a small shrug of his face, not at all giving you a response to this fact with anything concrete.

“I don't know that. But you don't know that man. He was

angled

in my direction; I could just feel it.”

“He was standing straight and facing forward. There was no angle.”

“He was talking to me. His tone — his voice — it was projected in my direction. I know my Dad, he is upset at me. But only at me. His feet, or his hips had a slight…

angle

, I can’t explain it, but I know it,” he insisted again, “he definitely knows there is a woman, but that’s as much as he’s got.”

“What if we get up there and he knows?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. What do you always say is the first rule of negotiation?”

“Don't ever show your hand,” you repeated the words you religiously mumbled to yourself before any big showdown.

“Don't ever show your hand,” he repeated with a forced smile on his face that did not reach his eyes.

You’d kept an eye on the clock. Time was moving much too fast for this. You hardly had any time at all to prepare; not that there was much either of you could do to prepare for this.

You made a quick stop at your desk before you joined where Baekhyun stood with his hand on the doorknob of your office watching and waiting for you to follow him out. Of course, he was watching you as you grabbed the plain white envelope out of your desk drawer and discretely slipped it inside the inner pocket of your suit coat.

“You won’t need that,” he said matter of factly.

“That’s just a worst case scenario. Like a plan B.” you said with a sad smile on your face, speaking of the short but sweet resignation letter signed with your own hand. “I’d rather resign than have my name dragged through the mud.”

You heard a dissenting hum from the back of his throat as Baekhyun clearly did not agree with your back-up plan. You’d taken your place at his side and instantly you felt his hands reach into your coat and he pulled out the letter. You watched in half annoyance, half amusement as he gripped it lightly in his fingertips and quickly ripped it in half, before stacking the halves and ripping those into more pieces which he proceeded to drop into the waiting trash can near the sofa.

“Plan B is you are 6 weeks pregnant,” he said in a joking tone. You frowned as you looked down into the trash can. You definitely didn't have time to print out another resignation letter now. “Of course, we’d have to get started on that right away, so that the timing works out.”

“And then plan C is we run away and get married, anyway,” he said with a dip of his head to catch your eyes, making you look up into his face. You had still been looking down at the trash can when you felt the softness of his fingertips below your chin, urging you to look at him. “You can be the breadwinner. I alway knew I would make a beautiful trophy wife one day.”

He was playing now. It was intentional; just to lighten your mood a little bit before the real danger came and you found yourself standing in front of the consequences of your actions trying not to pass out. You knew he wasn’t making light of this very real and very scary situation with his jokes and after a few seconds you looked up into his face; you could see so clearly, the poorly concealed worry there.

You leaned into him first. You slipped your hands inside the warmth of his suit jacket; wrapping your arms tightly around his waist and you buried your face well into the crook of his neck. His arms encircled you immediately and you felt the echo of a soft hum from deep within his chest.

“We will be okay,” you heard him say right beside your ear where he had tucked his face into your hair. It sounded like a statement but you definitely heard a hint of uncertainty in his voice. After a few quiet seconds you heard his inhale.

“No matter what happens — y-you wouldn’t leave me, right?” All traces of the ruse were gone. All false humor and forced bravado vanished with his quiet question.

His voice trembled with genuine fear as he asked you such a terrible thing.

You lifted your eyes to look into his face and you lifted a hand to rest it on his cheek.

“I would abandon my career before I would leave you, my love,” you called into his heart, soothing whatever silly fears he had —
that you could somehow live without him. With your words, he closed his eyes slowly; taking them deep inside. His lips parted as he tasted the truth in them.

“But you just ripped up my resignation letter so let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that.”

For this, he opened his eyes again, tilting his head slightly to the side.

It was time to go. You knew how long the elevator ride would take up to the top floor and if you weren’t inside of it soon, you’d be late. With as many transgressions as you had under your belt against his father you didn’t need to add any more to the list.

“Wait, I thought the resignation letter was to keep your name off the blacklist, as in to protect your career — but it was for me? To stay with me? You’d give up your job to stay with me?”

“But you love your job. Your job is, like, everything to you.” He was still speaking; strangely fixated on this little detail. You were certain it must be his need to gauge your love and devotion to him; which was ridiculous. You were about to get fired because of how much you loved this man. The least he could do was not gloat about it.

You were straightening your suit jacket, buttoning buttons and smoothing your skirt as he talked.

“Well you ripped it up,” you said with a grin; feeling a little bit like you were going into battle, “so I guess we’ll never know.”

You pulled your office door open and stepped out into the open floor; making your way through the cubicles and out into the hallway that led to the elevators.

The hour reprieve you’d had with him had done something unexpected. Yes you were headed up to what was very likely to be your demise, but strangely with him beside you — with Baekhyun, your love by your side, you might just make it through whatever happened upstairs. Perhaps this love you’d found could soften whatever detrimental blows you received today. Suddenly your work, your career, your job title felt just a little bit less than the highest priority to you.

Inside the elevator he inhaled a breath. You knew his silence through the crowded office space would not last; not with his curiosity left unsatisfied.

“So me or your professional reputation? What was that letter for?”

The elevator moved quickly. The rapid motion made you feel queasy and you had to lay a hand over your belly to calm your nerves. He noticed and reached a hand out in your direction, landing a palm over your own hand as you cradled your belly.

“What is it? Is it the baby?” His words of what sounded like genuine and convincing concern caught you off guard and you couldn’t hold the small surprised chuckle that broke free — that he would dare say such a ridiculous thing out loud. The laugh, the first genuine bit of happiness you’d felt in more than an hour caught you off guard more than his joke and you marveled that you could dare to be feeling something so joyous during such a dreadful situation.

You lightly swatted his hand away and he let out the sweetest teasing giggle.

“Sorry, just practicing my acting.”

The final steps out of the elevator, out onto that luxurious carpeting, and down the hallway that lead up to the heavy wooden doors of the CEOs office, were quiet. Any remnants of misplaced humor from either of you were snuffed out by nerves.

Baekhyun pulled on the handle and you stepped inside first, catching the eyes of the President’s secretary as soon as you both stepped inside the entryway.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Byun, ” the young man in the crisp suit called out an overly formal greeting with a stiff smile directed at your boyfriend.
His eyes glanced in your direction and you got a short head-nod, “Miss Managar. The president is expecting you. Please — this way.”

The man rounded his desk and stood in front of a second set of heavy wooden doors with a hand extended toward it and his torso leaned in the direction you were both to go.

“You may go in.” His other hand extended halfway toward his first.

You felt as if this plush carpet had swallowed up your feet. They seemed to refuse your attempts to send a signal from your brain to your legs to make them move.

You heard the heavy door open, despite how well oiled and maintained those hinges were, your ears caught the movement of wood as it slid over thick carpet.

You knew you should move. Baekhyun was already inside.

The young man took one step closer to where you stood and you heard him inhale to speak again.

“You — may go in,” he said with, god bless him, without any change at all in his tone, despite the fact that he had now said this to you twice without you actually moving at all.

“Yes.” You whispered toward him. His eyes caught ahold of yours and he held on to his blank expression so well.

“I am — g-going in.”

Something was wrong with you. Could stress cause paralysis?

“Miss Manager, you may go in.” The man reached a quick hand behind you and you felt the smallest push of his palm over your shoulder and coupled with the nerves; the embarrassment you felt surge through you surely had turned your entire face into a flushed hot red mess. Still, the smallest push he gave you actually got your feet moving and you took three or four big steps right into the office of the President of this company and the father of the man you secretly loved.

President Byun’s focus was on his son. There seemed to be some sort of a stare down going in the first few seconds of this interaction. Your entry into the space pulled both of their eyes away from each other and you closed the distance so that you were standing directly beside Baekhyun.

President Byun opened his mouth to speak.

“Ahh Miss Manager,” he said, looking into your face with lifted eyebrows and a confusing smile on his face. “Lovely that you could make it as well.”

The smile for you felt so genuine. Soft almost. You couldn’t quite connect that soft smile the old man gave you with the anger and outrage he should have had on his face when he looked at you — you, the scheming, gold digging harlot who had used her influence and power over his dear sweet child to trick him into believing he was in love with her.

You felt confused. You felt silly. The longer he looked at you with such a warm expression. The nerves and apprehensions you had been feeling were dissipating like bubbles in the air above your head.

“I actually wanted to meet with you about this young man right here, but I don’t believe you need to be present quite yet.

“I have a personal family matter to discuss with my son first. Something about some woman he intends to marry — without even consulting his dear father, that has given him everything — without even letting me meet her first.”

Oh.

He didn’t know.

Baekhyun was right.

Baekhyun’s posture had sagged some. You could see the relief in his spine and you looked over into his face and found him concealing the smallest smile on his lips that he had to bite down to keep under control. His eyes stayed fixed ahead of him but you could tell he was quite pleased to have been right about his father.

“Umm..pardon me, Mr. President but I haven’t prepared any performance evaluation materials for Assistant Byun for today…”

“Oh don’t worry one bit, Dear. This is all very unofficial.”

The soft pet name was unexpected but not unwelcome. You were not in any trouble at all. You were not about to be fired. There would be no official sanction or lawsuit. Sure you had technically broken some of HR’s rules with the timing of everything but there was no crowd awaiting your public execution. No one was sharpening a head chopping ax. Just a soft old man whose feelings had been hurt that his son left him out of such a monumental life decision.

Baekhyun would have to soothe his fathers ego well, but you were certain he could handle it without letting his own stubbornness get in the way.

“Dad. You will get to meet her, but no matter what you say, I’m not going to change my mind. This meeting is pointless. If you wanted me to come and hang out we could have just had lunch together.”

Oh no. He sounded sassy and defensive. Stubborn and immovable. Just as you’d feared, both men shared an equally strong sense of stubborn entitlement that was probably genetic.

“I don’t even know her. Is she smart and capable? Does she have good business sense? What does she do for a living? You have kept her from me — why? Do I know her?”

“She loves me. I love her. That should be your first question.”

Part of you wanted to intervene; to remind him of how delicate this situation was and how if he handled it with just a little more grace he might get further with convincing his dad.

You were retreating. You’d already been told to step aside and you’d made it just outside the doorway mid-way through their heated discussion about Baekhyun’s future, his birthright, and his responsibilities.

You were alone with the secretary again. He was seated in his chair behind his desk watching you with a passive and disinterested expression on his face as you stood with your back against the wall right beside the still slightly parted doorway.

You could make out their conversation but with the young man watching you, you pretended like couldn't and you kept your judgements about the over the top and ridiculously stubborn things both men were saying to yourself.

“Have you ever been to Egypt?” the secretary suddenly asked. His focus seemed far away but you were the only person in this room so you figured he was talking to you.

It took a few seconds but you shook your head back and forth as a reply.

“Oh you seemed like maybe you have. I want to go to Egypt.”

Clearly this man had some preconceptions about you. You smiled politely as you kept your ears trained on the heated discussion that continued behind the door.

“Just try it. Go ahead. You say I’m dramatic now, just try and force my hand. You want to lose your only son, forever? You have no idea how dramatic I’ll get.”

“Maybe I’ll go in the spring so it’s not so hot. It’s the desert though so it might be hot all the time. I want to see the pyramids. Which has better pyramids, Mexico or Egypt?”

“Please. The nurse at the hospital said she’d never seen such a dramatic baby and you were only one day old. I know exactly what kind of show you can put on. Is she trustworthy. Can she handle coming into this world.”

“I won’t give her up, even if she can’t. I’ll protect her from the family if I have to.”

“I don’t know,” you said to the young man.

“Oh you seem like you would know,” he replied, looking genuinely disappointed in your answer. You felt slightly taken aback. What on earth gave him the impression that you were an expert on the pyramids in Egypt and Mexico? “Why do I seem like I would know?”

“I don’t know.” He said as a final cryptic response and just continued staring at you. You felt weirdly sorry to him; as if you’d actually let him down today. Maybe you should read the Wikipedia pages on the pyramids in case you had to come back up here for a meeting with the President again.

“And don’t even try and come up with something dumb like ‘she’s pregnant.’ I have my own private doctor on speed dial.”

“Well, what if she really is pregnant?”

“Is she?”

“No.”

“Get out of here.”

The door pushed open sooner than you expected and with enough force that you had to quickly move yourself away from it to avoid being smacked. Baekhyun came through the doorway with about as much pent up aggression as you had ever seen on him and the second his eyes met yours you caught the tiny wink and the soft smile that spread over his face for a split second. He gave you a small head nod and you inhaled a breath and actually fought the eye roll at the theatrics you had just witnessed from him. Was this really his negotiation tactic? Act like such a brat that his father simply gave in from sheer exhaustion from having to put up with his spoiled behavior?

You made a mental note to have a word with him about maybe trying out some other techniques that may be just as effective and less traumatizing for everyone involved.

There was no time now though, it was your turn with the old man. You pushed through the doorway and found Baekhyun’s dad standing on this side of his desk. You imagined how worked up the man had been with his son pushing all of his buttons as he had apparently been so good at doing.

“Ahh yes, close the door please, if you don't mind.” The shift was attempted well, but not complete as you could still see some of the previous agitation rolling off of his shoulders.

You did as you were told and circled back toward the doorway that you had left slightly parted for Baekhyun’s benefit and through the crack in the doorway you caught his eyes and seemed to beg you to keep it open just a little bit. He even lifted his fingers up, holding his index and thumb together motioning a tiny space between the two and frowned his lips dramatically when you shrugged and pulled the door closed completely, blocking out the view and the sight of the man entirely.

You could tell from how his disgruntled ‘hrmph’ sound was cut off mid-way that this heavy wooden door was completely soundproof.

“Miss Manager,” the president began when you returned to him. He had leaned against the desk, taking on a much more casual stance than when you first entered this office and he lifted both of his hands to his chin in a thoughtful and pensive pose as he cleared his throat and said your name without your title attached to it. You found it curious, but the next words he said had your curiosity absolutely burning and your mind whirling.

“I’m afraid this is not a business meeting. I am so sorry if this is unwelcome and I realize it is inappropriate of me to even mention it, but alas I am an old man without nearly as much shame as I should have. Life is long and yet life is so short.”

“And yet, I do admit that I am still ashamed to say I have something very personal to ask of you — or more so, to beg you to consider. Merely the consideration is all I ask.”

“Go on,” you said carefully and with absolute caution in your voice. His words had so much pretext you could hardly stand the build up. Whatever it was he was about to ask you must be the most unusual and unheard of request you’d ever received from anyone and as delicately as he danced around his words, protecting his pride with as many asides as a self aware one act play, you imagined he had never had to ask anyone this sort of thing in the entirety of his life up until this point.

Until he was standing here before you with chagrin in his eyes, a shameful smile on his face and his beseeching request sitting on the tip of his tongue.

You had been well prepared. As prepared by him as you were going to get. And still you felt a jolt.

“What do you think of my son?”

You watched his face after he asked this question. Unsure enough for your lips to remain steadily closed and your eyes to flutter about his face, landing into those familiar brown eyes that now seemed to look at you with a different sort of fondness you had not yet noticed from him before.

Was this a trick?

Had you walked into a trap?

“Umm..Assistant Byun has proven himself to be an invaluable asset to my team. He is sharp, insightful, and incredibly capable. Much too valuable to be stuck as my assistant for any longer, which is why I’ve processed his transfer out so much sooner than anticipated. Perhaps you’ve noticed, he will be moving on next week.”

President Byun watched silently with that same smile on his face as you raved about his only child and when you were out of compliments to give, you closed up your mouth and looked into his expectant face with your eyes growing wider the longer he looked at you in silence.

“Mhmm, I see,” He said after a while and his eyebrows lifted as he tilted his head.

“And what do you think of my son…as a man.”

His eyes did not leave your face and you inhaled a breath to hear his follow up question and the implications it concealed.
It definitely felt as if you had walked into some sort of a trap here with his knowing smile and his trustworthy and open stance. He was standing close to you and had angled his torso in your direction. He had given you his full and undivided attention and possibly even cleared out a long block of time in his busy schedule just for you and you instantly closed up your lips; taking a tiny step backward and crossing your arms over your chest at just how dangerous this little talk of his felt. This unofficial, off the record talk, in which he had yet to actually ask you the question — the favor or whatever it was that he claimed to be so ashamed to have to ask you to consider.

The shift in your body language loosened his tongue and out from his chest came the smallest chuckle of amusement.

“I have to admit. I’m a bit disappointed. As a loving father to that kid — that brat. Over the past few months of him working closely with you, I admit I noticed some incredible changes in him and silly me, it actually did get my hopes up a bit. I thought — I hoped there might be something there. Now I fear I’ve been wrong. You’re sending him away and he’s marrying some stranger.”

“And so now here I am — just a pathetic old man coming to a strong and capable and wonderful woman such as yourself, who I’m sure has her share of men to choose from and asking her just to consider him.”

“What exactly are you asking of me?” The longer he went on, the less this felt like a trap. It felt like the carefully trodden steps of a father who loved his son and wanted what was best for him, even at the expense of his own pride.

“Nothing really. You can just turn around and leave and this conversation will have never officially happened, in fact if you are so offended that you wish to file suit for this; I would have it coming and settle immediately. I understand that this is inappropriate of me to ask.”

“Mr. Byun,” you said softly, removing the formal title and addressing him in a way that took a little of the pressure off, “I’m not…offended so much as I am just a bit cautious; yet, I do feel the need to answer you honestly, as difficult as it may be to say. Just to answer your question from earlier, as a man, Baekhyun is just lovely. To me, he is. He is funny and caring and handsome and he was raised right. There is so much to like about him. That much is clear. Any woman, myself included, would be absolutely lucky to have him. Honestly, and this is quite embarrassing to admit to you; but, I’d be lying if I said I’ve never seen him in that way.”

Your words had an effect on the man. You saw the widening of his smile, a genuine grin that reached his eyes and he even went so far as to lightly clap his hands together just once out of happiness. You couldn’t help your own smile even if you did have to look away from him to keep yourself from giving away too much.

“That’s good enough for me. Let me just put it out there. If something should transpire and you happen to steal him away from her…let’s just say I wouldn't be mad about it. We all have our favorites and I don't even know who she is. But I know you and I couldn't sleep at night without at least having said it. I hope you’ll forgive this silly old man for the intrusion.”

“Of course, Mr. Byun.” The smile on your face was as genuine as the endearing words from this man that you’d absorbed straight into your heart.

You said your farewells and as you made it closer to the door, Baekhyun’s father called back to you with his hands to get your attention, making a motion like he was zipping his lips closed and locking them tight with an imaginary key as he gestured toward where his son waited on the other side of that door. The message was clear. Baekhyun shouldn’t know about his father’s plan to get you to steal his affections away from whatever mystery woman he had promised to spend his life with.

You smiled and nodded your head in response, placing a hand over the center of your chest in a promise to the man that his secret was safe with you, you would do your best with your new task, and he could trust you with the minor details of it all.

This was really the best case scenario in every way possible. It wasn't that you didn't want to tell him the truth about you and Baekhun’s relationship right now. After having talked with him, you knew you could trust the man to support you both. But you could tell just how much he was enjoying crafting this scheme of his and you would much rather have him believe he was a relationship mastermind later, than know right now about how inappropriate and unprofessional the mentor/mentee relationship with his son had already been up until this point.

When you pushed the big heavy door open you could hear Baekhyun’s voice as he appeared to be deep in a conversation about pyramids with the president’s secretary.

“…actually in Mexico, in Cholula there’s a pyramid twice the size of the biggest one in Giza, but the problem is it’s buried so it just looks like a big hill. The Spaniards built a church on top of it. But if you’re looking for the oldest pyramids, then definitely Egypt is the place to —,” Baekhyun said; his voice trailing off at the end when he noticed you emerging from the office.

“Hey man, thanks for this.” The secretary said to Baekhyun as he motioned to something on his phone. Gone was the disinterested and blank stare; the man was downright jolly as he looked down at whatever it was Baekhyun had provided.

Clearly your boyfriend was the kind of pyramid expert that you simply were not and you vowed to brush up on several wonders of the world the moment you had a few hours to spare.

The second you were both out of earshot Baekhyun turned to you with bright eyes and a hopeful smile on his face.

“What happened in there? What did you two talk about?”

You bit down on your lips and shrugged your shoulders lightly, avoiding his eyes in favor of finding the ever elusive elevator button to press.

“Umm..” you let your response trail off under the guise of needing every bit of your focus for this task in front of you.

You were extra careful to press it slowly and you did not let up until you were satisfied that the button had been pressed and was lit up in just the right kind of way. You listened carefully, craning your neck a little until the far away sounds of the ascending elevator box could be faintly heard as it made its way up to you.

Beside you, Baekhyun was vibrating with anticipation.

He was a remarkably patient man. You could see his movements out of the corner of your eye as you looked ahead and waited for the elevator.

“

Noona

,” he barked straight from the center of his chest, the nickname said in the gruffest most annoyed sounding tone you’d ever heard him use with you.

The sound of it pulled your eyes away from that illuminated up arrow on the wall and you looked into his once expecting, and now outright demanding face with his raised eyebrows and parted lips, his arms crossed over his chest and his huffing and puffing breaths through his open mouth. Oh, he was worked up.

“What did he say?”

You pursed your lips and you shook your head back and forth in shallow passes.

“Well…Not…much, really. And nothing bad.” Your staggered words had him reeling and when the elevator doors opened, you stepped inside quickly; standing against the back wall. The very picture of innocence.

“Oh my god. He’s up to something. He’s scheming. I just know it. I don’t trust it. And now you — you won’t even tell me what you two talked about —”

He was going now. Really, really giving into the whiny, put-out mood he’d been in since the confrontational chat with his dad about his love life. You knew you had to give him something just to ease his worries a little bit — if not, to save your eardrums. This was not the place to reveal everything that had been discussed in that top floor office.

“It was just kind of an upper management check-in, Baekhyun. Nothing out of the norm after a project wraps or after a high profile employee, such as yourself,” you motioned with a hand over the length of him, “moves onto another department. I gave you glowing reviews, of course. And I meant every word.”

He had been covering his whole face with his hands when you started speaking. Once you were done declaring the whole father-secret girlfriend talk

‘no big deal’

with a flippant hand wave, you renewed your focus ahead of yourself with a newly formed interest in watching the descending numbers on the elevator’s digital display. Baekhyun’s hands had fully fallen to his side and he was watching your profile with what some might consider a suspicious eye squint.

He did not respond to you in any way. He merely watched your face and you were extra careful to keep your focus on the numbers that, any moment now, would halt on your floor and give you an excuse to exit this little box of deceit.

You weren’t cut out for this. Not with him. You couldn't stand not being able to tell him every single thing that happened, and frankly the excitement that was bubbling up inside of your chest threatened to spill out all over his crisp white dress shirt.

Not only did you have his father’s encouragement and blessing, but inside of you, you felt the kind of euphoria one might feel after receiving their very own Presidential Pardon. Which in a way, you kind of did. Ever since you started working closely with Baekhyun, you’d shared nearly everything with him. It didn't even take much for you to spill. He could usually sniff you out based on your body language alone or you would spill the truth of any situation with him simply because he was your ally and if you didn’t share it with him; what even was the point of having a trusty assistant.

After the relationship started it was a no-brainer. You told him everything because you wanted to. You loved him and you wanted him to know the things you knew. You were pretty sure it was mutual because oftentimes you’d catch yourself listening to some long rambling story of his. Him detailing something mundane, while you being completely transfixed just feeling pleasure from the sound of his voice and not even minding that, if you were in your right mind, you would have zero interest in the temperature of the soup served in the work cafeteria or the ratio of noodles to shrimp (it was one. One single, lonely shrimp in the entire bowl of noodles) in today’s stir fry.

You could not lie to Baekhyun. You could only run away.

And run away you tried, the elevator dinged and the doors began to open and you were out of there before those doors had even parted enough for a single, normal person to exit. You squeezed through and your feet were carrying you with a remarkable quickness.

Halfway through your journey away from him, you realized that rushing made you look so much guiltier and by the time you reached your office and pushed your door open, frantic eyes behind you told you that he wasn’t even chasing. In fact, he was taking his time walking in between the cubicles without even the slightest bit of urgency.

Perhaps he just … bought it?

Maybe he actually believed that all you and his father talked about up there was his recent performance as an Assistant.

Of course you would tell him the truth. The moment you both had any significant amount of time together you would spill it. The second you had his pretty face in your sights and his hands inside of your hands; the strands of his hair raked through your fingers and the smell of his warm skin floating over your parted lips as you breathed him in.

You knew it had to wait until you had him alone. You could not trust yourself after you told him this news. You could not be held responsible for what you might do.

The moment you entered your office, you were greeted by the smiling face of Assistant Cha, who up until this very moment you had simply forgotten existed. The surprise of finding her sitting inside your closed up office made you jump and you gasped out in shock at first before you tried to recover as quickly as possible; replacing the look of surprise with a friendly smile and following the startled, “Ahh” with hastily covered up, “Ahh -Ohh—hello…there Assistant Cha.”

It took a good ten seconds to recover and a few deep breaths later you had found some words for the girl.

“Have you been waiting long? Assistant Byun should be around any moment—”

“Sunny, did you finish? Already?” Baekhyun’s voice broke through your words, paired with the sound of your office door being thrust open and you whirled around to see his head poking through the opening with his abrupt words directed at Assistant Cha.

You watched his face, expecting to catch some hidden look from him, perhaps a secret eyebrow raise or at least a bit of that smile but you received none.

His focus was only on

Sunny,

who was standing with her arms filled with stacks and stacks of papers and a whirlwind of an overwhelmed expression in her eyes.

She received a wide and beautiful smile from him. A sweet reward for all of her efforts.

“Of course you did!” He sang out through the breathtaking smile and he was pushing a rolling chair across the open office, through the open door for her to set the stacks of papers on. He was telling her things like how she could go home early today and how he would likely see her around the building next week and they should maybe do lunch after they get settled into their new roles.

It all felt very purposeful. He was getting rid of the girl. He was getting rid of the only link to reality you’d both desperately clung to all day long, the only thing that so far had worked to keep you both away from each other for long enough for any actual work to get done.

As much as you’d wished for her to leave the two of you alone all day, there was a dryness building in your mouth to watch her leave.

You inhaled a breath through parted lips, swallowed away at nothing, and bit down on your bottom lip, chewing lightly on the flesh held between your teeth and you watched him take two careful steps through the threshold of your office and turn around to close the door behind him quietly.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself. Whether it was the after affects of keeping the secret for the past probably six hours, or so it felt like — a quick glance at the clock on your wall confirmed that only ten minutes had passed since you’d run away from your boyfriend with your guilt eating you alive from the inside and, Jesus Christ, the realization that you hadn’t even lasted long enough to enjoy a coffee break before you began to self combust was a shocking reality check — whether it was the filthy lie, or the fact that this beautiful man had just closed you both up alone inside of this office after you’d been denied the touch of his hands and the taste of his lips for an entire eight-hour work shift; you did know know which breathtaking effort you were finding more difficult to withstand.

He moved slowly and you swear to god you could hear an overwhelmingly frantic thumping echoing inside the hollow of your ear canals. The sounds from outside of this private space were cut off with the click of that door and the silence was so very loud.

Baekhyun took his time. He moved with careful and deliberate steps, even pausing his journey through your office to look down and run his fingertips down the length of his necktie, straightening it out and then running hands down the length of his suit jacket, from his broad chest to his cinched waist, smoothing out wrinkles that did not exist.

Your hands gripped each other tightly in the center of your hips and you were thankful that you were already leaning against your desk because you weren’t certain you wouldn’t drop to your knees the moment he stood in front of you.

To beg forgiveness or…

Baekhyun hadn’t spoken to you since he closed the door and at last he seemed to have reached a destination. He sat down on the end of your sofa, closest to where you stood — or leaned — whatever; and he turned his face to you. His big brown eyes looked up into your face and he stared into your eyes without speaking a single word. You closed up your mouth and pulled your arms tight over your chest and lifted your eyebrows in his direction.

In your mind, you liked to think you looked at least a little strong. Maybe a touch formidable. A challenge he would struggle to overcome. Perhaps.

“I’ll be honest with you,” he spoke very suddenly and very softly. Nearly under his breath, “I am annoyed with you right now.”

He did not blink as he said it. His face did not falter.

You held your breath and felt your eyebrows tremble once over your eyes. Swallowing didn’t seem to help much with dryness in your mouth and you nearly couldn’t stand to maintain eye contact with him. You glanced down at the floor before working up the nerve to look into his face once more.

“Not annoyed enough to matter,” he conceded the moment he had your eyes again. “I’m more amused by this right now. By how uncomfortable you look,

Noona

. You really cannot lie to me, not even a little bit, can you?”

His lips pulled into a smile the longer he looked at you and you felt every bit of your resolve crumble with the deep sigh that you pulled into your chest and exhaled through your parted lips.

“Fine,” you said, “I’ll tell you.” You said it with your eyes closed and the defeat evident in your tone.

When you opened your eyes he was leaning forward with his forearms resting over his parted knees and he was looking at you with his eyes wide open and his tongue inside of his mouth messing with his teeth. You could see the movement in his jaw. After a few moments he bit down on his lips.

This hopeful and expectant stance had you feeling a certain way. Perhaps just a little bit indignant that he would read you so very easily about every little thing. Were you not allowed to have any secrets from him? Were you not a human being too?

Sure this was directly related to him and directly involved his father and basically his entire life, but the man was just so difficult to keep in the dark about anything.

“For the record, I

was

going to tell you,” you lifted a hand. It felt like a defensive stance. “I was

always

going to tell you. I was getting ready,” you emphasized the word, “to tell you.” You closed your lips up and he leaned back on the sofa, swallowing with a visible bob of his throat and blinking his brown eyes slowly at you, “when we were alone.”

“So the talk with your dad went well,” you lifted your eyebrows and looked around the room without any real focus before you danced right back into his eyes. You filled your lungs, feeling like you couldn’t quite get enough air for this.

“We did speak about you — that was the truth. I did report about how you’ll be transferred out next week and how great and awesome and handsome you are — wait. I didn’t say that at first.”

His eyes widened as you stumbled a bit over your words and he ticked his head slightly.

“

Noona

,” he mumbled, a slight alarm on his voice. You raised a hand to shush the man while you tried your best to put your words together.

“Okay so first, I did give him the report.” You weren't quite sure why you kept returning to this point, but it felt so much safer than the next part of the talk you were desperately trying to just get out of your mouth, while also hoping you didn't actually need to say outloud.

“Second, he asked me to—” you waved a hand around, palm up, shrugging your lips with a little head shake, “asked me to, maybe consider…”

You pulled your lips wide, baring your teeth, “a-asked me to seduce you? And steal you away from this mystery woman you’re going to marry?” The upward inflection definitely made your words sound like several questions and you winced once your own words hit your ears.

You had to cover your own face with your hands.

His mouth had fallen open and his shoulders had sagged as he watched your face with wide brown eyes.

You uncovered your face and he was still staring at you without speaking a word. You were compelled by some unknown force, probably directly related to the insane butterflies that you felt fluttering around inside of your stomach with having to actually say this out loud.

He wasn’t speaking, but boy, were you.

“I don't know? I don't know.” Your eyes were wide enough to pop out of your head. You dropped the hands from your face and felt twitchy all over. A hand returned to covered over your mouth and you felt those same butterflies threatening to burst free.

You felt a small giggle come out of your chest, “he says I’m his favorite. I think I might have told him I found you lovely,” you said through a hopeless laugh, “and attractive too, I definitely said that. I’m pretty sure he believes I am going to take my assignment very seriously, and take that other woman down. I might have only imagined that part. Is it hot in here?” Your skin felt humid. You uncrossed your arms and pulled the suit coat off over your shoulders and tossed it into a heap onto a chair.

Baekhyun had both of his hands covering his open mouth and you heard the first sounds from him

In the form of a quiet gasp before he was speaking.

“

Noona —

” his mouth opened wide but no additional words came out. When he stood up from the sofa it was to wave his hands around in front of himself with a sort of speechless wonder in his eyes, “fucking, WHAT?” He finally exploded with his noisy question, followed by the breathy, humorless laugh of genuine disbelief that broke free from his chest.

“Oh my god.” His body was in motion even though his feet stayed firmly planted in place. This revelation rolled over him from head to toe and he moved from the waves of it. His skin turned flushed pink and you could see the half amusement, half disbelief in his expression. At last his hands lifted to cover his face with another, drawn out, “oh my god, this is so—” His voice grew muffled and from under his hands, out came, “so, so embarrassing. What the hell, Dad?”

His hands lifted. His eyes were wide and that pinkness was still coloring his cheeks, making the flush of his skin look quite pretty. You responded with a wide smile that you had no control over.

He was looking into your face and the movement in him seemed to settle the longer he looked at you. It took a few moments of it for your wide smile to even out and you looked into his face with tiny remnants of that delight returning with tiny twitches at the corners of your lips.

On his face, you witnessed the opposite happening, his embarrassment faded and with the quiet observations of you that he so openly partook in, you saw the first small hints of a smile beginning on his lips. He breathed through an open mouth and his lips pulled incrementally wider with each puff of air from his lungs until a genuine and breathtaking smile colored his beautiful face.

It was your favorite smile, on your favorite face, belonging to your favorite human being.

“So what is your plan?” he asked. “How will you manage to seduce me?” His eyes dropped slowly over your face to touch on your lips the moment you bit down and pondered this new task of yours.

“Do you think you can really do it?”

“Hmmm…,” you lifted a finger to your chin. His brown eyes followed the moment and his smile widened before he reined it in with an inhale through his nose.

“Well, probably,” you shrugged. “Doesn’t seem that hard to steal you away.”

A single laugh broke free from him and he took a step closer to where you stood.

“You sound very confident. What makes you so sure?”

You straightened your spine, lifted your chin, and you took a step, allowing yourself to lean just a bit closer to him and the movement pulled his brown eyes over your face once more. They lingered again down on your lips.

“See,” you said in a whisper. He swallowed and pulled his eyes slowly up into your smug ones, “you’re already thinking about it.”

“What am I thinking about? You and I are just talking,” he said, “besides, I’m going to marry her.”

This had you smiling. You had to turn your face away from him and you lifted your left hand, placing your fingertips over your bottom lip briefly.

“I hear she doesn’t even wear a ring,” you said as you lifted an eyebrow, “can’t be

that

serious without a ring.”

You were joking of course. It had only been one day. Just last night you’d spontaneously agreed to marry him, and he had, of course, spontaneously asked you as you were both caught up the moment. Your joke had his attention though and you heard a sharp inhale pulled in through his nose.

You caught motion in his mouth as his tongue ran over his teeth and after witnessing the evidence of a few of his internal struggles he broke all eye contact with you and looked somewhere behind you where your office desk was.

“That’s just because she hasn’t looked inside the right drawer of her desk yet.” His eyes pulled back into yours and your mouth flew open in genuine surprise. You gave a small head shake and looked behind, toward your desk.

He couldn’t be serious.

The little bubble that was this little charade popped in an instant and you looked into his face. He had the smallest smile there.

“Are you kidding me right now?” You were back to yourself; taking a step to walk away from him so you could round the side of your desk. You pulled at the desk drawer handle, finding the upper smaller drawer completely empty save for a few flat documents in yellow folders. You gave a little whine from the back of your throat and closed it up.

Baekhyun’s face was blank now; completely devoid of any clues as to what sort of a trick he was playing on you.

Your curiosity had grown to be too much and you reached lower, having to bend at the waist to pull the bigger bottom drawer open and inside sat a small bag; a strikingly familiar bag; the same bad he had been carrying with him when he came back from lunch and had received a delivery from one of your favorite bakeries down the corner.

You grabbed the bag and peered down inside, seeing one very delicious looking chocolate cake slice in a completely clear plastic clamshell container without anything else at all concealed inside the bag.

A motion to your side nagged at your focus and a sensation that gripped ahold of your empty left hand pulled your face out of this bakery bag and you searched him out for any clues about what he was playing at.

What you felt was something small pressed with his fingertips into the palm of your left hand; something cold and metal and heart fluttering.

You felt him lean into you then; the warmth of him touched your cheek and his lips pressed lightly against your earlobe as you heard the rasp of his lungs as he inhaled to speak to you.

“Excuse me, I think you dropped this,” he said into your ear and inside of the palm of your hand he left a ring behind. You felt the trembling in your limbs as you lifted your hand to see it and you had to place the bakery bag down on your desk because it was rattling in your grip.

With your left hand lifted and cradled by your right hand you held the precious little thing up to your face; somehow not quite convinced you weren’t actually dreaming right now. Sure you knew he had asked you and yes you had agreed but there was a different more certain emotion that was bubbling up inside of your chest right now as you looked down at the sparkling diamond and you couldn’t help the tiny question that broke from your lips, “Baekhyun are you serious? This is mine?”

He was moving then. He reached for the ring with his fingertips and his other hand gently gripped your left hand and turned it over. You watched as he slid the diamond into your ring finger. It was beautiful. The center stone was enormous and the trailing diamonds that lined the band threw sparks as you moved your hand. You couldn’t pull your eyes away from the crazy sparkle and opulence that you saw in this thing. You didn’t even want to imagine how much he had paid for this. It was so much more that you had even anticipated

“When did you even get this? We’ve been together all day and even all night; how did you do this?”

“Don’t ask me how long I’ve had it, or how long I’ve been carrying it with me,” he said as he watched your face. Inside his eyes you were caught in a myriad of emotions that were clear and evident. You were captured by the sincerity with which he spoke these words to you.

It took what was left of your breath away, “Just know that for as long as I’ve known of your existence in this world, you have been the one. I was always going to marry you. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life, as I am about you.”

[to be continued]

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You were full. You were absolutely filled to the rim.

Baekhyun’s hands had a tremble of unsteadiness when he pulled his fingertips away from your left hand and those fingertips moved to touch so lightly just over your face. More so than the connection, his delicate touch on your cheek felt more like confirmation that this was real; that you were really standing here in front of him wearing the ring he had just put on your finger and, oh, you were filled. You were overwhelmed to the tipping point.

You could burst at the seams.

You had to close your eyes. You had to hold your breath and his fingers slipped along the skin of your face moving so slowly that the silence in this closed-up office magnified the feeling of his warm palm as he laid it on your face.

“Thank you,” a small whisper from his lips pulled eyelids open. You found his eyes watching your face and deep within them, a dreamy far away focus that flitted over your features but never quite sunk down, “for loving me the way I love you. I —”

He pulled in a sharp inhale and his eyebrows trembled over his eyes, “I don’t know what would have become of me if you hadn’t.”

What you felt then was a culmination. You hadn’t been able to touch him all day and here he was, at last, within reach of your fingers, your hands, your lips.

You lifted a hand to his face, feeling deep inside your chest just as he must have felt when he lightly touched your face.

This beautiful man was yours.

The first few touches of your thumb were light as you outlined the shape of his bottom lip, along the edge with a slow and careful whisper of a touch. You felt the shape of it. The clear edge that you followed with the pad of your thumb. You felt the warm puffs of air from his parting lips when he opened his mouth and when your wandering thumb pressed, the soft flesh of his lip gave so easily; his lips parted further and the slight dampness of the inside of his mouth before you felt the hint of a nibble; wet teeth biting into the flesh of your thumb. The warm and wet tip of his tongue touching where his teeth released and the only sound from your chest was the stuttered breath as he did it.

Baekhyun moved into you then. He gripped your hand inside of his own; dipped his face, he pressed a warm kiss into the palm of your hand.

Your mind recognized that the spot his fingertips gripped, where the tight hold of his index finger and thumb held, was where that metal ring encircling your ring finger.

His soft lips opened and once again you felt the smallest pull from his mouth when his teeth bit down onto the heel of your palm. He let go instantly, leaving behind a path of moisture as his mouth moved.

He held your hand securely within his own and he lifted your hand up while his face dipped again as he moved his lips lower; trailing kisses on your inner wrist and another dip gave way to another kiss on your forearm. You could weep from the want you felt building inside of your belly.

Baekhyun stepped into you, one hand holding your arm against him and his other arm slipped firmly around your waist and he pulled you into his body. You felt the unimaginable warmth of him over the front of you and with the step he took you were out of places to go. And that hand, still gripping your left hand, the hand that wore the ring, firmly held up over his shoulder — he still held onto you in so many ways with that iron grip of his.

The
hard edge of your desk dug into your hips. And his eyes, they feasted over your face with a familiar hunger that you’d also been denying yourself all day.

You felt yourself melting into him and his intentions; however forbidden they might be. You’d give him anything he asked of you right now.

His hand wandered down from the small of your back, sliding down over your hip as he moved you gasped when he hooked his fingers behind your knee; pulling up roughly; making your gasp turn into a whine. Such a small yet telling sound. This man couldn’t possibly be prepared for what he was doing to you right now. You were pinned between his firm body and the desk. Your knees parted as much as your skirt allowed and his hips pressed into you as he leaned in and you knew, you knew the incredible danger of this situation. Your mind screamed out an alarm that you shushed quickly on the grounds of your very recent presidentially granted immunity. On the grounds that you wanted him and everything else outside of this room could be damned.

Had your skirt been looser at the knees you know you would have parted fully for him. You knew, had your clothing allowed it, you would relish in this fully; maybe even encourage this — you were even prepared to beg for it. Right now this skirt was your only real link to reality and you cursed the stupid thing for getting in the way.

It felt like a slow dance; he placed your left hand over his shoulder, letting go when he was satisfied that you would keep ahold of him there.

He had you in a trance. He left your hand on the back of his neck and your fingers wandered through the hair at his nape. Your mind whirled as you searched his face for the darkness you were sure to find in his gaze. His eyes were closed though; as that hand moved down the length of your arm, traveling slowly as he moved past your shoulder, running even slower over the side of your breast with a deliberate thumb that passed over your nipple; then down your ribs to your waist where at last he remained. When he bit down on his lips, his whole body tensed and tightened around you and he picked you up, placing you in front of him. He could have you here. You felt worked up enough to let him.

You were made to sit before him atop of your own desk in your own office, placed there by your own assistant, your knees still constricted by the tightness of your skirt but not enough to be unable to feel his hips placed just between them. Not far enough. The overwhelming warmth that had built up between your bodies took your breath away.

A few things were evident at once.

You wanted him to kiss you. You craved it like the oxygen you also craved. He didn’t. Like your lungs that refused to cooperate; the man also made no moves to close the distance between his lips and yours. You wanted him to push your skirt up higher on your thighs so you could feel him closer to you. You wanted those hands running up your bare thighs; slipping off your panties, gripping your ass roughly as he pulled you into the hardness you already knew would be his current state. Oh the relief you could have with him pushing inside if you.

He didn’t move.

His hands remained fixed stubbornly on your waist and all over his body, every muscle seemed tensed up and rigid — and his eyes, those stayed closed as he refused to look into your face. If he looked, if he only just looked he would see and he would know just how badly you craved for him to do something.

“I think I need to leave this room right now.” His words came out through his tightly clenched jaw and his pulled-tight lips.

As soon as the declaration was out, he moved.

He took his hands off of you and held them up, took a step back and away, breaking the connection with a wince on his face and a low groan that came from somewhere deep within his belly.

The room spun. He was gone. You felt insane. Your hands were empty and you had to set them on the top of the desk to keep from toppling off without him holding you.

Honestly this felt like an out of body experience.

You definitely didn't feel like yourself.

Why? Why did he have to go? Didn’t he need you as badly as you needed him?

Baekhyun had already made his way out of the area behind your desk, had turned his back to you, and was standing facing the bookshelf that lined your wall, no doubt collecting himself as best as he could.

You knew he was right to stop this. You even tried to tell yourself this and if only these words could break through the burning have that surged up hot inside of your belly, perhaps one day you may even accept this.

If only your rational mind had been anywhere to be found, perhaps you would simply let it go, let him leave your office to go find something else to occupy his time and his body and his hands.

Instead you looked down at yourself as you sat here atop of your desk with a glance at the expensive outfit you wore, from head to toe, even underneath, down to the underwear that lay hidden below the skirt. Even the shoes on your feet; the makeup on your face; and the final, opulent touch — the several carat-sized diamond ring that adorned your ring finger — all of it, everything that touched your skin had been from him. It was all Baekhyun. He was everything and he was everywhere except for where you wanted him to be and you could feel a genuine ‘petulant child who hadn’t gotten her way’ fit brewing up hot inside of you.

You felt as if you had become a completely different person and the urge to speak loosened your tongue, filling your lungs with air and pushed forward with the sudden curious mood, you opened your mouth to call out to him.

You heard the ire. You felt too far gone to be embarrassed by it.

“Assistant Byun.”

This was very unlike you. The sound of your voice using his title in this way pulled his posture straight and his head ticked in your direction, not turning around fully as he did it and definitely not looking at your face.

You were acting like a brat. You lifted your arms and crossed them over your chest with a puff of air from your nose and a serious frown growing on your face the longer you let this nasty mood sink in.

It was the sting of being denied all day long. The burn of being so close to getting what you wanted only to be denied again.

“Don't get mad,” Baekhhyun said, “I’m sorry I got carried away.” His words pacified but there was something else happening just under the surface. You knew him inside and out by now and you could hear it. It did not help the mood.

His tone felt teasing. Despite the apology said with his words, you could hear the amusement in his voice. Whatever fit you were throwing right now seemed to stroke the right part of his ego. You could see the concealed smile on his face now that he had turned around to look at you again. With the spin of his body, he gave you his full attention again and he took a step closer to where you sat stewing on this desk of yours. He was close enough that if you so wished, you could reach forward, grab him by the arms and pull him back into you. Your mind played all sorts of these scenarios for you and you had to shake them away.

“I’m not mad,” you said with a defensive lift of your chin and a purse of your lips. You had uncrossed your arms now and you let your gaze fall down over yourself, holding your left hand out in front of you into the sunbeam that filtered through the blinds; watching the way the diamond sparked and threw flames all around the room as you did it.

“I’m just worried that I might actually fail my assignment. I heard she’s wearing your ring.” You kicked your feet, pointing your toes as you showed off the heels you wore. You tilted your ankle and loosened a heel, following with your eyes as it fell off your foot and tumbled to the floor. Feeling reckless, you ran your left hand over your skirt lightly, slipping your fingertips below the hem and allowing the fabric to pull up higher on your thigh as you did it. “In fact, she’s even wearing the panties you bought her. She’s covered from head to toe…by you.”

“What are you doing? The door isn’t even locked,

Noona

,” Baekhyun said in a matter-of-fact tone with absolutely no confusion in his eyes about what your little act was about. His eyes narrowed in your direction and you shot him a mirrored expression.

“And what would you do if it was?” You looked into his face as you asked him this question. You felt the tiny twitch as your eyebrow danced up on your forehead. This was a challenge now. The message was clearly received but he did not make any movements at all.

He stood his ground and watched your face and his small smile settled into a flat line as his quiet staring went on.

Baekhyun was quiet for so long that you began to feel the first real hints of doubt creep into your mind.

Maybe he was right all along to resist this.

This was a bad idea. You were the wrong one.

This was you giving into your every weakness when it came to him and perhaps it was finally time for some bad ideas to be retired. After today he wouldn't even have any reason to be in your office with you, much less be in here alone with you. After today the chance for this kind of mistake would vanish. After today these sinful fantasies of yours could finally be laid to rest.

His slow blinking was interrupted by a quiet exhale
from his open mouth and with the breath his eyelids sank half closed before he pulled his upper lip in between his teeth. He bit down as those same eyes flitted closed. It was such a subtle change yet you knew, you knew. This was acquiescence. You caught the bob of his throat as he swallowed and his lips parted again before he spoke just under his breath.

“You know what I would do. I told you about it last night.”

This came out as a whisper.

It hit you square in the chest.

This man belonged to you in more ways than perhaps you’d even known. He would give you whatever you wanted, in spite of yourself.

Somehow, harnessing every bit of self resolve you had left, you managed to keep his dark eyes held tight with your own long enough to push your body off of this desk and stand on your own two feet before him.

Something must have snapped inside of you when you took the first step. The second step had a wave of motion rolling through his body. He lifted a hand to rub his palm over the entirety of his face and rocked back and forth on his feet. When you turned away from him to make your way toward the door, you heard the smallest breathy moan come from somewhere behind you. That sound heated you from the inside.

Locking the door was easy. All it took was a single flick of the wrist and out rang a click that resonated through the now private space. You felt that click within your chest. It sent a wave of goosebumps over your skin.

The moment you locked the door and turned back around to face him, that rush of courage that had propelled you to do this had changed into something else. Something more desperate.

Baekhyun watched you as he leaned a hip against your desk. His posture sagged; a stance not unlike defeat if you had to name it something. The man had lost. His pretty hands hung down between his parted thighs and his head lolled to the side with half closed eyelids and his mouth, that pretty mouth, with the corners that turned down naturally, pink from his teeth biting down, had a tremor that moved with each labored breath that left his lungs.

This look on his face — you’d seen it before, countless times in the quiet intimate moments when you had him completely to yourself — but to see it here, in this place — your hands were quick and you reached for the blue fabric of the tie that hung around his neck.

You’d been doomed from the moment he sent that girl away. From the second he closed himself up in here with you with nearly every other staff member having already left for the day, save for maybe the lonely cleaning person. The sun outside of your window had sagged low on the horizon and you’d had enough of going without his lips, his hands, his love, to last you for the rest of your life.

You weren’t rash about it. You didn’t yank or pull him down into you by the tie. You didn’t need to. The moment you held onto that strip of fabric his eyes slipped down to touch upon your hand and then for the briefest of seconds you had his eyes cradled in yours. Even that was brief. The view of him blurred when you tugged gently; catching his lips with your mouth. He moved into you so easily and the second his lips touched yours you felt lost.

His mouth was hot. It was wet and it was demanding. His hands reached for your face and he held onto both of your cheeks as he kissed you, angling his face as his tongue pushed inside. Pulling on your bottom lip with teeth. Coming back again and again until you both shook and trembled and gasped for air.

Eight hours, while a completely reasonable and normal time to go without someone, felt like an eternity now that you finally had him to yourself.

You had him pinned to your desk and out of frustration you’d managed to pull the skirt up just enough to straddle his thigh.

His hands wandered over your ass. His fingertips dug in hard into the backs of your thighs and when he pulled you down onto his lap his thigh muscle tensed hard between your legs. This felt too good. With as turned on as you were, the pressure of him pulling you hard into his thigh again and again had you writhing.

In the back of your mind, you recognized that this should be quiet. Sure much of the office should be empty by now but there was no telling who might wander by and fall within ear shot.

The problem was your boyfriend had a way of making you forget yourself. One particular pass over his thigh hit exactly in the right spot between your legs and your small whimper might have come out a little too loud. The sound that escaped made him move. It had him hissing out a shushing sound and you felt his lips cover your open mouth at the same time as he wrapped strong arms tightly around your waist.

You felt the world spin curiously. Man-handled might be the right word for this. You certainly had a man all over you.

Baekhyun had you sitting on top of your desk again. Only this time there was no restraint. He was pressed up well between your legs, you could feel every bit of the hardness and heat and arousal against you. He pushed against you, desperate for the friction the action brought. Your conscious desire for discretion faded more with every new push. His forehead was pressed up against yours and when
he pulled his lips off of your mouth, it was for a purpose. This man seemed to be the more in control between the two of you. Between the rough kisses came small gasps for air and
from his mouth he came a whispered shushing sound. “You need to be quiet,” he whispered into your open mouth. “You are
going to get us caught,” he threatened between wet kisses.

His hands were moving at the same time though and the heat from his palms made his words feel so far away. You felt the change in temperature as he pushed at the fabric of your skirt high up on your thighs. You felt the cold wood of the desk under your ass. You had to reach a hand down to try and shove a few papers out of the way, not quite liking the way the thicker folders scratched your skin but before you could be annoyed by the single sheet of paper that remained stuck to you, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you forward roughly, covering your mouth with his again when you threatened to make another sound.

Baekhyun had hands on you. He had a hand around your waist and one between your legs and you trembled when he slipped aside your panties and you felt the first rubs of his thumb within your wetness, over your swollen center. Each pass had you a whimpering and moaning mess, you always felt so weak to him; so easily affected by everything he did. He knew where to touch you too. Always listening to your cues; always watching your face too closely. Each touch brought involuntary sounds and each sound from you had him shushing, silencing, telling you how very important it was for you to keep quiet; again and again, inside your ear when he wasn’t stealing his air directly from your mouth to physically stop you from making noises.

“Do you know how hard you make me? How badly I want you?

Shhhh…

.

Fuck

, you are wet.

Shhh…

You make me fucking crazy — with how much I want you.”

Despite his frantic attempts to keep you quiet, the whispered confessions spoken into your face as he looked right into your eyes had the opposite effect on you. There was nothing silencing about his words. You felt out of control.

“Baekhyun,” you breathed out into his ear, gripping tightly around his shoulders, you let your fingernails dig into him over the dress shirt he still wore and you gasped out loud to feel him shifting himself between your legs. You lost one of his hands as he flipped his necktie over his shoulder and then you heard the buckle of his belt — the quick zipper of his pants and the movement of fabric and when the feeling of his warmth returned rather than his teasing fingers you felt the smooth hardness of his dick as he slipped passed the panties, slipped easily into your wetness, and he pushed inside of you completely in a shockingly rough single motion.

It took your breath away.

Your mouth flew open and as soon as he entered you, a hand landed squarely over your wide open mouth, muffling the sounds you could not help but make.

“All I do is

want

.” He was shaking. It was the effects of you that you could see written all over his pretty face. He had gone motionless with his eyes rolling back; feeling too much at once and fighting to keep himself from making a sound. His breaths came out short and stuttered. He was reeling and he was struggling and then he was moving. He needed the motion. He needed the friction.

“All I do is

want

,” Baekhyun said again. He was pushing. You rocked into him.

And he was pushing roughly. “All I do is want

you

.”

You felt yourself losing. Losing the fight to keep quiet, losing the desire to even give a damn about where you were as he fucked you.

But his hand over your mouth was too tight. His hips pushed hard with a quick rhythm and even if you had wanted to cry out; this man wouldn’t allow it to slip. He was speaking to you again just as you let your eyes drift close, you heard his labored whisper.

“Open your eyes.” His voice was low and rough. You found his dark eyes watching you. He was whispering directly into your ear, every single word of his no louder than a gnat buzzing around the room.

“This is what you wanted, right,

Miss Manager

? Look at where we are. Do you like being fucked at work? In your office — by your Assistant — with your team just outside?”

You could not help but obey. You looked across the room toward the door with its single, flimsy lock. Your eyes drifted over the closed blinds that lined the glass windows that sometimes looked over the floor of the office; where your team sat. Where they worked hard for you. Where they looked up to you and gave you their utmost respect and faith; their dear manager who would never…never…

The discord that surged inside of your mind in that moment was shocking. You closed your eyes to shut out the realization that perhaps you did like this. You liked this. You liked it enough to demand it from him. Perhaps giving into your darkest fantasies was part of what had you so very turned on and affected and absolutely desperate for this to happen — for him to fuck you here.

He felt the change in you. The way Baekhyun was able to read you was unreal. His lips were back at your ear, whispering, “I can feel you. You can cum. I’ll keep you quiet,

baby

, cum for me.”

He was a drug. You were lost to him; definitely addicted to his dangerous words and even more sinful actions and as he spoke you struggled to breathe through your nose as your eyes drifted closed again, losing yourself to the sensations that were overwhelming. Between his dick, his hands, and whispered truths, you were overcome and shaking.

The room was spinning. You could feel the after effects all over your body and Baekhyun’s rhythm and pace shifted as his efforts stuttered and grew shallower. You could already feel the mess between your legs just from your own body; but the idea of his mess too had a slight concern manifesting in your mind. You didn’t have another pair of panties. It wasn’t as if you had planned for this to happen. A tempting idea slipped inside of your head with his next push into you and you felt yourself smiling despite the hand over your mouth. His breathing was changing and you lifted a hand to lay over his, pulling it down so you could speak.

You had his attention; only just. His eyes were drifting. You had only seconds to say it.

You leaned, placing your lips right up to his ear, feeling the warmth from his soft skin against your cheek. You could smell the delicious scent of his warm skin and a light cologne fragrance he wore and you whispered the quiet request close enough to kiss his earlobe with your wet lips, “I want to worship you,

my love

— let me taste you.”

There was a pause amidst his trembling and through his small breaths from his parted lips, he bit down and you saw the smallest nod of understanding from him.

You heard his whispered curse that he could not help when you dropped to the floor in front of him. Your bare knees burned from the roughness of the carpet. The moment your tongue touched the tip of him he was just as lost as you had been. Just as addicted to the feeling of you. His hands gripped tightly over your ears and you tasted the culmination of every single forbidden sin that had transpired in this closed space with the two of you.

It was only a moment from when you pulled him inside completely and sucked down to when the tension inside of his body crested — every one of his muscles clenched tight and the tremors inside of him fluttered atop of your tongue. You swallowed every drop the moment the bitter taste hit the back of your tongue and even the man of absolute silence and self control, in that moment when he came inside of your mouth, with you on your knees worshiping every drop of him, he gasped out loud with a deep grunt from within his abdomen.

Oh no. It was loud. He had lost control and while you couldn’t help the undeniable flattery that came with his mistake, the reality also sent a flash of nerves straight through your chest. It was a sound that could not possibly be mistaken for anything other than sex.

You pulled back, wiping the corners of your mouth and looked up at him with alarm on your face. Baekhyun wore a silent shell-shocked expression that gradually turned into a wince on his face at his own slip. You heard a definite curse muttered under his breath. He looked toward the door for a moment and it seemed that the sex spell had been thoroughly broken with his release. You watched in amusement as he recovered himself quite instantly. The clarity in your capable and responsible assistant’s eyes returned.

He was moving quickly, slipping himself back into his pants and you raised your eyebrows with a small smile in his direction while you did the same with straightening out your clothing. Your balance was shaky and you rested against the desk as you pulled your skirt down over your thighs; hearing the rattle of a sheet of paper falling to the floor from where you’d been sitting on your desk.

Your ears sharpened and you held your breath as you listened for anything at all that might be happening outside of that door such as the sound of a priest or perhaps a cops’ siren. You even craned your ears for the sound of your own mother’s disappointed voice as if your sins in this room could conjure up any and all sorts of comeuppance you were past due for.

You heard nothing and after a few moments the distant sounds of a heavy duty vacuum cleaner sounded out somewhere quite far away. The cleaners only worked when the offices were completely empty. You felt as if you’d just gotten away with murder.

“Baek, that was a loud sound,” you whispered with a teasingly judgmental tone in your voice and you turned to pick up the things that had fallen. It was kind of a mess now. A few documents had definitely gotten wrinkled under your ass. You’d probably have to reprint some things.

He was fastening his belt. “You were so much louder than me,” he mimicked your whisper and his eyes followed the movement of the falling sheet of paper.

It only took you one good look at it for you to know what it was. The sheet of paper that had fallen, the very same one that you were sitting on as he fucked you and had gotten wrinkled and smudged and actually wet from the sex. It took only one solid moment of true focus and you reached down in an instant — snatching that achingly familiar single sheet of paper up and hiding it behind your back.

Oh no. Not this paper. Any sheet of paper but this sheet of paper.

Baekhyun was sharp. Baekhyun was intelligent and observant and Baekhyun, while easily prone to caving to your every whim, and very easily distracted by things like your lips or your hips or your boobs; he had been, in fact, for the better part of the year, your actual, honest-to-god Assistant. The very same Assistant had printed these things up for you to complete at the end of the project; as this was one of your many required duties as a manager.

He was watching you with furrowed brows and he was not moving. His lips were pursed in thought and he lifted a single hand to point his index finger toward you; clearly directed toward the wrinkled and wet sheet of paper that you foolishly thought you might be able to hide behind your back right now. The sheet of paper with his own complete legal name written very neatly at the top.

He made a questioning, humming sound and licked his lips; his finger still pointing you out.

“Did we just have sex on top of my performance review?”

You dropped your chin, dropped your eyes and bit down on your lip with a slight frown on your face. Of all the things for the sex to happen on —

“On my official employee performance review!?”

You weren’t quite ready to admit to it, but you had no choice. He’d already recognized what this was and,

hell

, he had been the one to print the stupid thing. That was his own handwriting at the top that had filled out his own name and employee number.

“The one that has already been signed and stamped and validated by the other department heads — did you —,” he dropped his voice, “

cum

,” whispering scandalously, “on my official employee performance review?

“Is that a

wet spot

on my official employee performance review?”

You brought your hands around to the front, gingerly holding the sheet of paper up with your fingertips by both corners.

It really was a mess. The wet spot had made it nearly transparent.

Baekhyun’s hand flew up to cover his open mouth and he gasped out loud in genuine shock.

“What do we do?” You asked through gritted teeth and you felt your face scrunch up into an exaggeratedly worried pout.

“We?” His eyes were wide and his words came out muffled from below his hand, “We?” He asked again and your pout deepened as you held the paper up higher. Baekhyun’s hands extended toward the sheet and he stopped halfway, retreating back into himself and you heard the first stifled snort of a laugh break free from his chest.

“W-We?” He laughed again, harder now. It seemed to take over his words entirely even though you got the gist of what he was saying. His one word, that indignant question he asked only emphasized what you already knew. This mess was definitely your own making. This document was supposed to have been filed yesterday and the only reason why it was even still here was because you were so distracted by having tons of sex with your boyfriend that it simply slipped your mind.

You reached out an index finger and touched the paper. It really was very wet and the moment you poked it with your fingernail, a small hole tore through. It was in the spot with your Director’s signature.

Baekhyun had gotten his breathing under control for a moment but when you held the sheet up and looked through the hole you heard another loud snort and he was covering his face with both hands and laughing again, very loudly.

“We need to make another one. Are you any good at forging signatures?”

You were thoroughly in crisis mode now and Baekhyun’s giggles settled down only long enough to answer your ridiculous question.

He looked into your worried face and his expression settled into one of absolute determination. “I am …

amazing

at forging signatures.”

You heard a curious excitement in his voice and he spun on his heels, and made his way around your desk; pulling out your office chair and sitting down as he logged in to your workstation with your password and even grabbed your cell phone;
unlocking it with his own thumbprint so he could enter the two-factor access code.

You watched him with a mixture of amazement and horror as he seamlessly navigated through your computer to find the blank file. A few seconds later your printer was working and he leaned back in your chair with a sweet, innocent smile on his face.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “How long has your fingerprint been able to unlock my phone?”

He lifted his eyebrows and glanced toward the printer with a small lift of his chin, motioning that you should focus on grabbing that fresh sheet of paper instead of asking silly questions about your dear boyfriend’s complete lack of boundaries.

“Chop-chop,

Miss Manager

. We have to evaluate my performance.”

He was right. This was an urgent and time sensitive matter and any other points you had to make with him could wait for another time.

So you gritted your teeth, not wanting to somehow imply to him that him taking these sorts of privileges with you was just okay, and you reluctantly turned to grab the paper from the printer, returning to his side at your desk expecting him to get up so you could sit down and fill this thing out.

Baekhyun didn’t move, but he did make himself seem even more relaxed and comfortable in your chair.

You looked down at him in question and after a few moments he lifted a casual hand and patted his knee.

You looked down at his knee and back up into his face.

“Are you kidding me right now?”

He laughed and reached forward, gripping you by the arm and pulling you into him. You stumbled exactly where he wanted and found yourself sitting right on his lap. He was warm. He smelled nice.

“I’m not the one who made the mess and now has to make her boyfriend an accomplice in some light fraud.”

His tone was playful but his knees were boney and hard. You wiggled some, moving yourself up higher into his much softer thighs and he wrapped an arm around your waist and leaned around your shoulder to look down at the paper you slowly began filling out; keeping the ruined original right next to it making some attempt to match the words you’d originally used.

“So how was my performance,

Noona

?”

You glanced to your side to catch his playful eyes and shrugged with a light smile on your lips. You had a bit of a hunch that he wasn’t talking about the performance review, but you played along anyway.

“I said only good things, and I meant all of them.”

“Mhmm,” He nodded his head and his arms constricted around your waist. It didn’t really feel as if he was paying complete attention. You felt his nose nuzzle into your neck lightly and he inhaled a slow breath taken from the surface of your skin.

The exhale heated your skin quickly and your pen slipped. You made a mistake. The original document was perfect and this one now had a completely different letter.

You groaned out an annoyed sound and he lifted his face and looked over your shoulder again with half curiosity, half amusement.

“

Baby

, just write a different word. Consider this the beginning of our life of crime together. Write down that I made you cum three times.”

“Baekhyun. I came once. We are at work, why would I come three times, at work?” This brought out a loud laugh from deep within his chest and he was shaking you so much with his laughter that you had to lift your pen up into the air to keep it out of the way of the form so you didn't make any more mistakes. His silly mood had infected you and you felt uncharacteristically playful as his giggles below your lap and jostled you about. With as much as he was moving his legs, you were pretty sure he was bouncing you on purpose.

“Oh, all of a sudden

you

have a conscience? Are you listening to yourself? Why are you seducing your engaged assistant at work in the first place? You maniac. Say four times instead. Go big or go home. I’m a sex god and they need to know it.”

You turned to look at him again, nodding your head twice slowly before you leaned back to give him a kiss on the lips to placate the silliest, and loveliest man in the whole world.

When you were done with the form you started to get up so he could work his forgery magic with the signatures but Baekhyun had other ideas, of course. You found yourself trapped by him as he simply wrapped his arms around you, caging you in entirely as he careened his neck to see both forms in order to get the forged signatures to look identical; all while keeping you on his lap, inside his embrace and within squeezing distance.

When he was finished it actually looked pretty damn good and out of an abundance of caution, you both exited your office (den of iniquity, he called it) one at a time, just in case anyone might be in the vicinity.

The building was as deserted as you hoped it would be and you’d made it halfway toward the elevator alone when you felt a warm body step in line beside you. You were ready for the polite head nod, the half casual glance in his direction and the friendly farewell as you wished him all the best in his future role and endeavors.

What you hadn’t expected was the warm arm he draped around your shoulders and the way he leaned in to place the smallest kiss on your cheek.

This was outside of your office (sin den), this was outside of what was safe and what was okay and you eked out a gasped of shock as you took a step to the side, removing yourself from under his arm.

“Nobody is here,” he said defensively, with a wide smile on his face, “I just want to walk with my woman.”

You were too weak to that smile of his. His teeth were pretty and his pink cheeks popped as his eyes beckoned to you. When he pushed his lips down into the smallest pout you let out a single long sigh. It was all he needed. His smile returned wide and beautiful and you just let him rest his arm over your shoulders as you both walked side by side to the elevator door.

He leaned forward to push the button first and he was talking now as you both waited. Telling you about his plans for the wrap party and about how he had to be out during the day tomorrow for an appointment somewhere but he would see you there. He asked about what you were wearing and you told him it was a surprise. You had long ago picked out your dress, a sexy flashy little thing, and you didn’t think he needed to know the details about it before he actually saw you in it.

You’d never before been so damn excited about one of these events, but the mere thought about seeing him there, dressed up in his fancy suit or maybe even a tux, getting to dance with him together, it all filled you with a bubbly anticipation.

The elevator dinged and you had been so lost in the thoughts of things to come that you simply forgot about the comfort of the man’s arm so casually draped around your shoulders as he leaned in close to your ear, giggling, and quite obviously flirting next to you. You’d simply forgotten. Just as you had simply forgotten to submit his performance review yesterday.

The doors open and to your horror a real life human being was standing inside of the elevator, clearly on their way down to the ground floors, or in this case to the sub-level where his own private car would be waiting to drive him to his Presidential sized mansion and you have never, in your entirety of existence moved so quickly.

You let out a poorly disguised, very loud fake cough. It was some explosive sound designed to disengage and confuse all parties around. It was not your best acting job but it was all you could come up with.

Baekhyun was quick and his arm moved to pat you on the back roughly, a bit too roughly in his haste. His quick thumps stung.

He was laughing awkwardly and you were looking up with what you were sure was red hot embarrassment on your face into the eyes of President Byun, Baekhyun’s father.

“She swallowed a bug,” Baekhyun said abruptly and you looked over at him with wide eyes and a crazed forced smile on your face, unable to disagree with his ridiculous excuse, but also … really? A bug? — Before you looked back into the completely blank and passive face of President Byun, who seemed to just be waiting for you both to get into the damn elevator so he could go home already.

You had to get in. Baekhyun stepped in first and followed with your face pointed downward avoiding the potentially dangerous eyes of either of the two men who stood inside this elevator with you.

The ride down was silent. Your ground floor exit dinged before President Byun’s sub level exit and you had no choice but to say your quick farewells to the old man. Baekhyun nodded once to his father and followed you quietly out of the elevator and in the split seconds before the door closed the man up and took him away, you caught the smallest smile on the man’s face and against your logical mind, you were nearly positive you heard him say something akin to a farewell to you both.

“You both watch out for —” the doors closed up on his last words and you shook your head as you tried to replay his words inside your memory. Beside you though, Baekhyun dropped his chin down to his chest and let out the longest most defeated sigh you’d ever heard from him.

It seemed that Baekhyun caught the last words from his father.

“What did he say? Watch out for what?” You whispered, absolutely puzzled and needing to know what the man said to you.

Baekhyun only lifted his hand to rub over his tired looking eyes and shook his head.

You reached out a finger and poked him in the ribs to get him to talk.

After a minute, he scrunched up his face and looked across the long hallway that led to the exit of this building, inhaling a deep breath before he spoke.

“Love bugs.” He sounded defeated when he finally said it.

You must have been so caught up in your own denial that you simply refused to accept that those two words actually came out of his mouth. You shook your head back and forth in his direction.

“He didn't say that,” you said, lying to yourself. “There’s no way.”

“Yep. He knows,” he said, pausing his forward steps for a moment to respond to you again, “he definitely knows,” he said before resuming his journey toward the exit of the building.

[To Be Continued]

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It was the first morning in a long while that you woke up alone.

There had never been any definite decision made on which side of the bed was yours and which side was his; but Baekhyun’s side of the bed was cold.

It only took you a second to recover from the disappointment that surged through you. You’d reached a hand out to touch his skin and all that brushed over your fingertips was the flat lifeless bedspread that covered your bed.

After the disappointment came a quick judgment on your own silliness.

You’d just been with him yesterday. You ought to have had your fill of him by now, with as much of him as you’d had lately.

With the slip of your hand over the expanse beside you on this bed, your fingertips brushed higher over the soft plushness of the pillow; his pillow. He hadn’t purchased it himself, nor had he played any part in its selection yet if there was anything in this bed that belonged to that man more than you, it was this pillow.

You turned toward it, scooting yourself over the bed and feeling like an addict desperate for a fix, you turned your face into that pillow and you inhaled a deep breath through your nose and through your parted lips, desperation at its lowest point — a day after the party junkie licking every last speck of white dust left on the glass coffee table — catching the slightest, and I really do mean slightest hints of the smell of his shampoo. You inhaled again, deeper and slower this time and all hints of that fragrance vanished as if you had only imagined smelling it in the first place.

What a silly human being you were.

You rolled again, this time away from his vanishing scent, you reached for your plugged in cell phone and your hands moved of their own volition easily finding the one and only contact that sat at the very top of your most recent message history, opening his chat window and you typed out a quick message to your Assistant Byun.

‘

I woke up alone and hated it.’

Your message to Baekhyun sat unread for exactly ten seconds before the status changed and your stomach fluttered to hear the tiny hopeful ticking sounds that accompanied those three rolling dots as he typed his response.

‘

aww… :(‘

‘

u miss me?’

‘already?’

‘

i was just there last night’

‘

you cant posibly miss me alredy’

‘

big baby’

His responses came in rapid succession. Baekhyun texted like he talked. Rapid fire messages one after another; sometimes stream of consciousness thoughts of his with typos and most times, a complete and probably intentional disregard for spelling and punctuation. He was your favorite.

‘I even smelled your pillow :(‘

You tried out the emoji he had used, even going so far out of your comfort zone as to remove the period at the end of your sentence. Your next attempt at casual chatting with your boyfriend had you reverting to your old ways. You just couldn't do it — the shortened words and silly faces. It made you feel like an imposter.

‘I miss you. Yes, yes, I know. Already. I feel silly enough having smelled your pillow.’

‘So…’

‘did it smell like me?’

‘Not really.’

‘

hehehe’

‘

u miss me XD lemme see’

’Wait… what do you want to see, Baekhyun?’

It felt like such an abstract concept that you weren't quite sure what he was asking of you.

‘

u’

‘

u missing me’

So you leaned into it — your own little silly pity-party. You lifted your phone up, opening your camera to snap a quick selfie. Before you had a chance to scrutinize yourself too much for the obviously barely awake face that was still puffy from sleep, you sent it to him, knowing he would see your bare face and pouting expression.

You hoped he wouldn't immediately know the truth behind that dark look in your eyes that told of things like interrupted dreams of his lips and his touches; dreams that retold memories of the love-making from the night before. Memories that sent goosebumps over your skin and flooded your veins with heat and desire.

There was a noticeable silence after you sent the picture. It went on for longer than you thought was necessary. The longer the silence dragged on the more this feeling inside of your body crested and surged. It was a frustrated sort of feeling; kind of like being on the verge of a sneeze that just never came.

It wasn’t as if it was a racy picture or anything. This was just you missing him. He had asked for it and everything.

After several moments you heard a sound come from within your chat window and his dots were moving.

‘how do you do that to me?’

‘

do you want me to come back?’

‘

hmm?’

‘i’ll just cancel everything i have today and just come back to you’

His messages had you reeling. A hundred emotions and memories flooded you at once. The shocking way he always gave in to you. The particularly recent things he had done simply because he could not and would not say no to you. He babied you and gave into your every whim. It felt unsustainable.

‘do u need me baby? i’ll come’

Surely this man couldn’t keep giving into you this easily. With the memories came the tinge of guilt and slight shame you felt when certain things came back to you; like the sex in your office yesterday, but at a deeper level even something as life altering as him asking you to marry him that night. It had all started with some tiny words from you and just like that, as if the man’s head had only ever been filled with you — Baekhyun had given in so damned easily.

You couldn't be so selfish with his love. You surely couldn't take and take from him without giving back to him tenfold. Your heart wouldn’t allow it.

‘baby?’

He was busy today. He had told you about it already. He had some appointments and some things to take care of. Today was the day for him to get it all done. It was the first weekday he’d had off in such a long time; everything that he had been putting off was backed up and scheduled for today. It was important to him and it should also be important to you that the man was free to do whatever he wanted to do with his free time.

‘No, I have things to do today too. I’m just being a brat. I think waking up with you for so many days in a row has spoiled me.’

It was true. You did have things you had been neglecting. You had laundry to finish and your apartment needed cleaning. There were also some personal hygiene things you needed to take care of like shaving your legs and other similar things to get ready for the sexy dress you’d be wearing tonight. It wasn’t as if you didn’t also have things that you really ought to be doing other than guilting your sweet boyfriend into coming back into your bed just because you woke up from that dream kind of needy and desperate for the warmth of his lips.

‘just say you want me there’

’fuck it all’

‘i will come’

‘Baekhyun. Don't you dare. Didn’t you say you had important things to do today? You don't have to come over every time I complain about something. Sometimes I just need to say it outloud so I can get over it. Yes, I miss you. Yes, I love you. Yes, I just woke up from a dream about you but I’m an adult and I will take care of it. I will see you tonight at the wrap party.’

Your fingers typed out a quick paragraph and the moment you hit send you knew you had said too much. Both literally with how very long that entire message looked with the giant block of letters that practically filled up your phone screen and figuratively with all that you had revealed. You knew your suspicions were right with the incredibly long silence that took over the conversation the moment the message was sent.

He must have still been reading it. But then you saw no signs of life after the message status had changed to read.

Your eyes slid over your words once more and you felt a heat and warmth flood over the back of your neck as you read one particular bit of your embarrassing confession — the dream about him. You’d told him that you’d woken up missing him after the dream. There was only one kind of dream that could have possibly had this sort of an effect.

But where was his response? Was his long silence due to you rebuking him?

You read through the message again.

Baekhyun, don’t you dare.

Had your quick reaction been too much? Did you sound too much like an overbearing manager to him?

You don't have to come over every time I complain about something.

Nagging and admonishing. You could hear it yourself the more times you replayed the words in your own head.

Could he possibly be …upset by your words?

After a full ten minutes of staring at your screen, you had to put the phone down. The long silence had gone on for long enough to make your mood go from worried to genuinely anxious.

Another ten minutes had passed as you puttered around your bedroom trying to distract yourself with gathering occasional bits of laundry that needed attention before you heard your phone buzz.

You hadn’t been the type of woman to leap across your bedroom, plopping down hastily on your bed to reach for your buzzing telephone before. Baekhyun had changed so much about who you thought you were.

Sitting inside your text window, silent and unassuming was a voice note complete with the graphic ups and downs that represented the words he had recorded.

You pressed play, turning up the volume on your speaker so you could hear his voice.

Baekhyun was whispering.

“I nearly walked out the door. I almost left and came to you. They called my name the moment I stood up and I made eye contact — I had to go in — but baby…baby,”

he dropped his whispers down even lower with the second ‘baby,’ you heard the smallest whimper turning into a whine.

This was a complaint, it seemed.

“Babyyy~”

he went on again,

“did you really just tell me you had a sex dream about me and you’re going to take care of it alone? You’re making me fucking crazy. How am I supposed to go on? I can’t stop thinking about it, but I really need to stop thinking about it.”

His voice was speeding up.

“Shit. I hear someone calling my name.”

Between the whispers and the rapid speed with which he pushed the words out of his chest you had trouble actually making out what he was saying.

You could make out bits of it like,

“Isweartofuckinggod,’

followed by unintelligible mumbles, then

“—popaboner—teethcleaned—fuckingarrested,”

The last bit was said in a single dramatically whispered breath.

His message had you giggling and all at once whatever silly doubts you’d been feeling about your boyfriend had vanished. When the message finished playing you instantly wanted to play it again, only when your phone returned to his message window, you saw another much shorter voice message waiting for you. This one was extremely brief. You were certain he was by now, being ushered into some dental exam chair to deal with whatever internal battle he was fighting all on his own.

The second message from him sat there at only an innocuous and unassuming 7 seconds in length but it beckoned to you so intensely. You pressed play.

“

Please,”

he began with that same whiney begging tone you heard occasionally from him. It was a familiar sound to you at this stage in your relationship. He used it when he wanted something from you and he wanted to be particularly convincing. You couldn’t think of a single time it hadn’t worked on you. Honestly it didn’t take much from Baekhyun for you to instantly want to give him whatever he wanted. He didn't have to go so hard on the begging; even if you did really enjoy the way it made you feel inside.

His begging though…It felt somehow more desperate this time.

“Please-please-please—I would give you anything. My entire fucking soul. Please take care of it and let me — oh fuck — please let me hear you do it.”

This request from him had a slow moving effect on you. At first it didn’t seem like much, but you found yourself transfixed by it. You stared at the tiny voice note with your finger hovering over the play button and before you could help yourself you pressed the button again, holding the phone up closer to your ear so you could clearly make out every stuttered breath between each word he spoke. Between each of his desperate pleas you could make out the labored in and out of the air from his lungs. You could hear the stuttered throaty groans that preceded the next words and the sounds of his begging; the way he seemed to lose control of himself entirely with the curse word that slipped in.

You knew what he wanted.

This wasn’t something you had ever done before.

How would you even manage letting go of yourself enough while also somehow recording the sounds you might make for him.

First and foremost the logistics felt like a pain. Were you supposed to record a voice message just as he had done? Was there some way to record yourself and send it back to him after you listened to yourself? Could you even reach your release knowing you were recording yourself. What about the timing of it all? You weren’t exactly a professional performer. Most of the sounds you made lately had felt entirely outside of your own control; had been pulled straight from within your chest by this very man.

Was he busy? Maybe you just could just call him.

You knew you were overthinking it, but Baekhyun had been so sweet with his request, you had a strong desire to give him what he asked for.

You rolled around on your bed, carrying your phone along for the ride feeling just a little frustrated with yourself now.

It wasn’t as if you didn’t know how to pleasure yourself. Hell, you’d spent the last year desperately single and pathetically alone; too busy with work for a relationship; too burned by the last one to have much interest in any of the men who’d approached you. When you’d finally given up on ever being touched by some other human being Baekhyun steamrolled into your life completely redefining everything you thought you had known about intimacy and sex.

It was the attention he paid to you. It was the way his eyes always bore deep into yours as he held you; as he touched you; as he filled you. He gave you everything without you having to ask. He anticipated what you wanted; he paid attention to your cues and when you didn’t give him everything silently, he straight up asked you what you wanted; sometimes with his words, sometimes with his hand pulling your own hand down to show him; until you felt yourself giving up every single little secret desire you’d ever dreamed of and at last, as the waves of overwhelming pleasure washed over you, you’d be rewarded by his sweet, self-satisfied smile as if he’d unlocked some new secret of the universe; of you, his universe. It was the vulnerability you could see inside his eyes as well.

His vulnerable raw honesty was maybe the sexiest thing about him. He was your very own open book. And the stark contrast between what he showed you and the false bravado or professional persona that he gave to everyone else in his life made you feel as if you were the chosen one. His very special very privileged precious person; the only person with whom he shared his actual true self.

The dream that had started all of this had been just as all-consuming; just as pleasurable; just as vivid. You’d been so overwhelmed lately that this man had seeped deep into your unconscious mind and even at rest, it seemed, you could not escape the magnetism of Byun Baekhyun.

Your hands were roaming over your body. You’d dropped the phone somewhere in the bed sheets. You found that your skin felt hotter under your palms. The short sleep shorts you wore left your legs bare and the silky fabric of the camisole felt smooth under your palms; your skin was flushed below the thin fabric and a pass of your hands over your breasts made your nipples below the shirt pucker and respond to the light touches of your fingers.

The rolling around on your bed landed you somewhere around his pillow and you inhaled a deep breath from the center of it. You could smell him there right in the center of the pillow. It was very slight again, just the tiniest hint of the scent of his shampoo but the smell was undeniably him. He smelled so good. Everything about this man felt so good; but your sniffing over his pillow wasn’t enough. You wanted more of him. If not here in person, you at least wanted his voice in your ear.

“I want you to listen”

“I want you to hear me”

You’d found the phone and keyed out some rapid words to him.

To hell with it all.

“but”

The status of messages quickly changed to read. There was no sign of him typing a response.

“I don’t want to just make a recording to send to you”

He was reading them as soon as you sent them.

“I want you here inside my head”

“You don’t have to speak I just want you to listen”

Your fingers had slipped down to the waistband of your shorts and you slipped your fingertips beneath the elastic of your panties as the scene played out in your head.

Him looking down at down at this phone trying to keep his face neutral for some professional who made notes about his next appointment. Smiling their friendly smile at his handsome face.

“I want to hear you breathing on the line”

“I want you to listen to me cum”

The inaudible curse under his breath as his cheeks darkened. You knew how weak he always was to you. You had first-hand knowledge of the effects you had on him. Although you’d never admit outloud how much you enjoyed playing these little games with him, you were certain he already knew. Certain social rules would also keep him from openly admitting how much he liked this as well and you fully expected a half hearted scolding from him later for teasing him like this while he was out in public.

After too long of a stretch of his silence your phone buzzed. One short buzz and then quickly followed by one more.

“5 min”

“gimme 5 min”

The first few passes of the soft pad of your index and ring fingers within your own substantial wetness had your breaths quickening. How very turned on you felt wasn’t really a surprise to you. You found yourself so attracted to him that some of your days were spent in a constantly needy state of arousal. It was a miracle you had managed to get anything else done at all. The gentle nudges against the most sensitive parts of you felt better — felt even better than anything you’d done alone before, simply because of your knowledge of what Baekhyun knew.

Baekhyun knew exactly what you were doing with those recent thoughts of him coursing through your veins; prickling your skin with goosebumps and heating your skin with desire and arousal and a steady buzzing against your bare thigh pulled your eyes open.

Baekhyun was calling.

You reached for the phone with your unoccupied hand and answered the call; pulling the phone up to your ear to listen for the moment the call connected; for when the sound in your ear brought him to you. You heard the change in audio. Sounds of the world outside of your bed. He was here now. He could hear you.

“Hi,” you let the low breathy single syllable slip off your tongue followed immediately by a quiet sharp inhale of breath. Try as you might, your breathing had already taken on a rather uneven rhythm.

“Are you the only one who can hear me?”

“Ohh…yeah-yeah.

Hyung

, I’m on my way out. Sorry you had to wait.” Baekhyun was talking into the phone so you could hear him, but not only for you to hear; although he did answer your question in a roundabout way. He was wearing headphones. You’ve seen him do it before; slip one wireless earphone into his ear to take a quick call.

“Good. Only you can hear me.”

The false words he spoke sounded lifted and forced, “Yeah, I’ve been good. Just trying to get out of here quickly. A-Are you close by?”

His veiled question had your eyelids closing and you felt the smile erupt on your face. You bit down on your lip and you hummed out an answer for him.

“Mhmm, I am close.” The words pushed through the airiness in your voice; giving in so easily to your arousal.

“I miss you,” you dropped your voice and whispered into the line. Out of a sense of secrecy, the words came out softer. Even the long drawn out
exhale was a tiny gnat buzzing around the room.

“I want you, Baek.” There was a slow moan that built up in the back of your throat as you dipped your fingers lower, slipping one inside of yourself before you pulled up again. The journey up, your fingertips dragging slowly over the center of your clit made the sound erupt. It broke free. It made your words catch. It made them stutter. And punctuated by another soft moan, the words “I wish you were here fucking me right now” slipped up the back of your throat. “I wish this was your dick instead of my fingers.”

On the other side, you heard the tiniest whimper come from your boyfriend’s chest. The next sound was a hiss through gritted teeth and he quickly turned it into a small cough.

“Do you even realize how wet I am?”

Somewhere in the far distance a wordless voice reached your ears. Just enough for you to register the owner's gender; a young female with a polite inquiry.

You heard a hitch in his breath. You heard a helpless moan. It was extremely quick and short lived. “Mmmm,” Baekhyun oh so quietly hummed; against his will. He could not stop it. Air huffed out noisily through his nose. His soft and delicate answer pulled your lips into a satisfied grin.

That same voice as before spoke again; the tone of voice lifted up with a more insistent inquiry.

“Sorry, No. No, thank you.” Baekhyun cleared his throat noisily and you heard a few labored breaths blowing over his phone speaker, his “

hooooo

” trembled. He made a small blowing sound through his lips with the smallest guttural whine ghosted just under his breath and the voice asked something again.

“No-no I’m fine. I was…I was just leaving.”

Another question sounded out from much farther away now. “I’m leaving now.” His voice sounded closer to you for a second. Low and throaty and desperate around the edges. “No—no, I don’t need it.”
The sound of the man shouting back over his shoulder.

A bell sounded out. A door clanked. Footsteps were moving and lungs were laboring. A curse was whispered just under his breath and repeated. The meaningless expression of wild frustration muttered through gritted teeth,

‘fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.’

“Are you still with me Baekhyun?” The high pitched whine that came out of your mouth after holding his name on your tongue for a moment that happened was out of your control. You could feel the heat just below your skin building into a fever. Your fingers felt too good with how very wet you were.

“Yes, Ma’am. I am here.” he whispered and you could hear how his lips remained parted and he breathed through his open mouth.

“I asked you a question, my love.”

A new sound echoed out. The sound of a car door opening and closing quickly. A low grunt from the back of his throat and the deep roar of a powerful sports car engine coming to life.

“My brain isn’t working right.” He was back to you. His voice was clear inside your ear and you could hear the strain to keep himself level sounding.

“What am I going to do? What the fuck — do I do? What do I do? Ohh —
I’m in over my head.” He was whispering under his breath again. He was breathing quite hard all by his lonesome and the sounds of his lungs sunk hard and deep inside your eardrums, making every pass of your fingertips hit harder.

In the back of your mind, you registered the sounds of his car engine speeding up and slowing down, taking corners with a quickness and soon you heard a change as he seemed to stop driving entirely. It was nearly impossible to keep your focus through the sounds he made. Low whines, short puffs of air and complaining grunts.

Whatever motion you had been hearing from his side of the phone call quit with the next sounds from him. It was a deep throaty moan spoken in your boyfriend’s low register quickly followed by a sigh that blew air across the phone speaker and then a slower longer whiney moan. “F-Fuck,

baby

, what have you done to me?”

“What did I do to you, Baekhyun?” It was too much. It had already been too much for a while and you were trying to focus more on his voice than the building fire inside of your body, even going so far as to pull your hands away from yourself. You’d been too close to a climax and the burning fire spread into a burning curiosity more than a need for an immediate release. You could draw this out for a while longer. It was too much fun to end it now.

“You’ve made my dick so hard I had to pull over to jerk off. Again. Fucking — again. You make me lose my goddamn mind. You have any idea how many times I’ve had to do this because of you?”

This felt like another one of his confessions — let slip during a moment of weakness. Or given to you purposefully because he wanted you to have every single one of his secrets. This was the vulnerable man who destroyed your every inhibition; weak only to you — raw and honest and telling and unbelievably sexy as all hell.

“How many times, Baek?”

He was moaning again. It was rhythmic. The perfect pace for your fingers to slip down between your thighs again. You could not help but match the pace you heard coming from him. It felt like maybe, maybe if you closed your eyes and left your mind drift maybe it felt like he was here; here doing this to you. Making you desperate; bringing you closer.

“I didn’t — keep count. At least — hundreds. Every time — before I had to work around you and then,” there was a definite hitch in his voice, “of course, after. You had no idea. Sometimes I-In the car, right after — Sometimes other places. Once even in your office after you had left. But again and again. And over and over — more than a year.”

This was news to you. He was right; you had no idea. This man, so very affected by simply being near you that he had to deal with the arousal after every encounter. Pre-gaming sometimes, just because he knew he would have to be around you and keep his sanity intact

You recalled a moment, it felt like lifetimes ago before the kiss and the confession and the sex and the obsessive love. Back then, he’d saved you from the speeding motorbike. Back then, you’d felt it, the deep inhale he’d taken from your skin as he held you in your arms after the near death close call that nearly instantly changed into something else when he let that low moan escape. The undeniable heat you’d felt built up to intolerable levels between your bodies where they touched. You’d suspected as much at the time and now, well, you could probably publish your findings for publication. Fact checked, peer-reviewed, and proven.

“What is it about me?”

It was such a stark contrast to every other relationship you’d ever been in. Those men seemed to have a mild passing interest in you. At best, just in it for the sex; at worst, merely tolerant of you until someone else came along, not even bothering to end it with you before beginning something long lasting and meaningful with someone else… someone much better than you. Someone easier than you who worked less or had less pride than you or nagged less or who was easily satisfied in bed; didn’t expect an orgasm every single time and was perfectly happy just to fake it to satisfy a man’s ego.

But Baekhyun was in love, obsessed even, with every single detail about you. Baekhyun begged on his knees just for the chance to please you. Baekhyun was your rare diamond. You would never let him go.

“It’s You. It’s everything — everything about you. Your eyes. Your smile. Your lips.” His breaths had grown ragged. You could hear each stroke of his hand “Fuck — Your hot mouth — your wet t-tongue and ass and tits and your pretty fucking pussy and how good it feels to fuck you. Your scent — My God — your scent. I want to smell you for the rest of my life.” He was lost.

He was lost. You heard him cry out. It tipped you over the edge. The mess between your legs was so substantial you felt it dampen the bed sheets below you. Through the panties and the sleep shorts you hadn’t even bothered to remove.

You shared the oblivion with him and only him.

It felt like ages until you could speak again. After the heavy breathing settled on the other side of the line you heard sounds of movement. A quiet grunt that sounded like he might be reaching for something. You frowned down at your own state, realizing you’d have to get some more laundry done before you got ready for the wrap party tonight.

“Did you make a mess?” Your quiet question to him reflected your own state of affairs and Baekhyun responded with a tiny giggle.

“No, I keep a big box of jerk-off tissues in my car. I wasn’t always so prepared. I once had to hear, with my own ears, my car detailer mention having to break out the precision tools to get the

‘stubborn, dried-up gunk out of the all cracks in the steering wheel,’

and I knew I had to fix my life.”

You were already laughing.

“I don’t care who you are or what goddess you might be jerking-off to. Something like that changes a man.”

Your giggling blended like music with his and
lasted long enough for a very recent thought to dawn on you.

“Wait a minute — In my office, Baek?” The abrupt realization interrupted your own laughter but had an opposite effect on him.

He laughed even harder.

“Baekhyun, when did you do that? Where did you do that?” Your voice had a half joking tone and half genuine concern. There wasn’t some secret stain you didn’t know about somewhere, was there?

“Well, I didn’t do it on your

Official Employee
Performance Review

, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

His joke was unexpected and it pulled out a genuine wheezing laugh from deep within your belly. It left you cackling and struggling to catch your breath and you could hear him laughing that deeply satisfied noisy laugh that he did when he knew his joke had landed particularly well.

After the giggles settled and you were up and about within your apartment; beginning to clean up both your filthy body and your bedsheets, the time on the clock began to nag at both of you.

You knew you had taken up to much of his time. You knew he had more errands to run before he had to return home to get ready for tonight. You didn’t know the specifics but it sounded like a tight schedule.

“I’m sorry I took up so much of your time.” The apology from your lips was genuine but his response began with a dismissive scoff.

“I’ll always have time for you.”

It was a cheesy sort of line and had it come from anyone else, it would’ve had your eyes rolling; but the sincerity you heard in his voice had you squealing internally instead. You really had fallen in deep.

He inhaled to speak again, “

Baby

, what do you have planned for today? Just lazing around until the party?”

You were probably only imagining the judgment you heard in that word he used.

“Excuse you, Assistant Byun, I have so much to do here at my house. Do you know what happens to a home when the owner is kidnapped by her sexy boyfriend and locked up in his ivory tower for a week? I have dishes in the sink, a dirty kitchen, a filthy bathroom, a ton of laundry to do. Plus I have to somehow shower and shave my legs and do make-up and hair and get all pretty for tonight. How will I finish it all?”

He gave the occasional hum of understanding as you ranted; letting you know that he was listening to you being dramatic even if each of his hums did come further and further apart and the sounds of his big engine speeding drowned out quite a bit of the important emphasis you had placed on certain syllables for dramatic effect.

The whole thing made you huff in annoyance and you crossed your arms over your chest with an eye roll as you grumpily repeated, “lazing around…” under your breath but not soft enough that he couldn’t hear it.

You lifted your volume for the next bit. You could not help how defensive you felt for being criticized by the most privileged man in the history of privileged men. Has he ever even washed one dish in his entire life?

“Some of us have to do our own chores, you know?”

“Okay, okay. I got it. I understand. You big baby. You are very adulty and very busy and very hard-working and very responsible and not being lazy today even though you stayed in bed until ten in the morning.”

“Nine.” You were quick to correct him.

“9:55 in the morning,” he pandered.

“Nine. O. Clock.” Your emphasis on each word as a separate entity gave you a temporary spike in your blood pressure and you had to stand back a bit from the phone; holding it just a little further away from your face as you briefly considered pinching him the next time you saw him.

“Oh, are we not counting the extra hour in bed and all that transpired therein? Because, my darling, it is 10:25 right now. I am 10 minutes late to my next appointment because somebody, let’s call her Schmanager Smoona, decided that 9:05 in the morning on a Thursday was a good time to send pornographic text messages to her boyfriend —”

“I’m hanging up.” You interjected the moment there was a pause. He’d inhaled a breath to keep talking and you managed to squeak in three quick words mid-speech. But it was useless. You could tell there was no end in sight. He was complaining about being late and yet he had time for the longest speech in history about how needy and inappropriate you chose to act instead of washing your dishes like a normal person.

“— while he was in the dentist chair with a strangers glove-fingers in his mouth, tasting like latex and artificial grape flavored fluoride—”

You let out the longest sigh.

“—what happens the next time I drink grape soda? What if Fanta Grape gives me boners now? Should I seek counseling for this? Should I seek a settlement?”

You had your fingertips pressed firmly over your forehead, rubbing hard as you tried your best to keep a hold of your sanity.

“Baekhyun, didn’t you say you were already late for —-”

“Oh my God, Noona. I already told you I have to go. I don’t have time for this right now. Why are you, like, so obsessed with me? Maybe I’ll call you later. If I feel like it. Kay, byeee.”

The line went dead.

He won.

The animated voice he did quickly interrupted whatever it was that you were saying. He spoke fast and used some sort of silly accent. By the time you had any of your mind in tact to realize what was going on you heard the click and he ended the call; cutting off whatever futile response you could possibly give him.

You stared down at your blank screen in mild disbelief and before the phone could time out a single buzz alerted you to a new text message from him.

‘i love u so much. ill see u tonight. don’t look too pretty i can’t promise ill behave if u do.’

If anything has ever felt like a challenge…

If only you had less housework to do, you could manage to sneak in a trip to the salon. If only you hadn’t just added a whole extra load of laundry to your list of chores, thanks to your mid-morning phone sex adventures.

You frowned down at the fitted sheet, knowing full well that you had to wash and dry the thing separately, else you risked the danger of having it grab up everything else you threw into the machine and catch it all deep within its corners; a tangled and twisted ball of filth and moisture that would not only ensure that nothing in the load got cleaned, it would also include the added feature of keeping everything, including itself wet and wrinkled as well.

Halfway through your sorting efforts your doorbell rang. You hadn’t been expecting anyone and it had been a while since you’d ordered anything online, so the sound came as a bit of surprise. Perhaps someone was lost?

The view through your doorbell camera gave you more mystery than answers because standing at your door were three young women, all dressed in what seemed to be white long sleeve cotton shirts and black skirts. It looked like it might be some sort of uniform. You hoped they weren’t here to talk about your soul’s eternal damnation. That ship had sailed long ago.

When you didn’t answer right away the doorbell rang again and one of them was leaning forward and speaking into the microphone.

“Excuse me,

Madam Byun

? We have been sent by

Young Master Byun

for the cleaning.”

One of them whispered to the one who was speaking.

“My apologies,

Miss Madam Byun

. Cleaning the whole house,” she said after conferring with her co-worker.

Unbelievable.

Your boyfriend was unreal. You felt mildly amused by this. A genuine laugh broke free from your chest and you leaned forward to press the button so you could respond.

“I didn’t order any whole-house cleaning. Thanks, anyway.”

There was some whispering amongst the three and one of them was holding a phone that she typed a few words into. The one with the phone leaned forward next to speak.

“He said,” she was leaning forward with the cell phone in her hands and she seemed to be reading directly from a conversation she was having with Baekhyun.

“tell her that you will all be fired if you don’t clean the whole house today you won’t really be fired but tell her that you will all be fired if she doesn’t let you inside to clean oh also tell her that you all have been properly vetted so anything that happens is strictly protected and insured not that I think anything will happen I’m not saying you guys will do anything you know I am not that kind of person tell me what she says after that”

She read the entire thing word for word to you. Without paraphrasing. These were your sweet boyfriend's words read without any pause for punctuation or any changes in voice inflection.

You felt as if you were having an out-of-body experience.

The man was both incredibly thoughtful and incredibly ridiculous.

You were tempted in a way you hadn’t felt in a long while. Thoughts of heading to the spa for a full body refresh filtered through your head. Thoughts of simply walking by the sink full of dishes and the piles of sorted laundry and the soap scum covered shower door and walking right out that door for some pampering led you to reach for the door and turn the handle.

When you opened the door two of the three faces smiled at you. The girl with the phone was still looking down at it. She inhaled to speak again.

”well what happened did she open the door did you tell her about being fired all three of you have a family at home tell her you have six kids each that will starve to death there are twenty one lives in her hands no that's too many she wont believe that she is very smart it is not believable for someone so young to have six kids how about two what age do people start having kids look up into her eyes and look sad and say please I have six kids or two kids whichever you think she will believe”

“Stop. Tell him it’s fine. You all can come inside and clean. Tell him we will talk about this later, though.”

Her fingers were moving and she was typing furiously as she took a few steps inside of your apartment to stand behind the other two girls carrying boxes of cleaning supplies as they looked around surveying the place.

The girl with the phone was still talking. You wished she wasn’t.

“oh good make sure to tell her this part tell her we can only talk about this in her office with some fanta grape soda tell her that period”

She looked up into your face and leaned forward as if she was revealing something vital to the meaning of the message, “he put a period at the end,” she said with a small smile.

You lifted your hands, palms facing out to stop the girl. You shook your head back and forth, “Just…don't respond to him anymore. In fact, can you block him?”

”I cannot

Miss Madam Byun

. He is my boss. Please accept my sincere apology.” Her expression was serious and you responded with a hopeless shrug and a laugh. At least now, she’d tucked the phone safely away inside the pocket of her apron and quit relaying his insane text messages verbatim like that.

“Is this the entire home? Is there more somewhere?” One of the girls stood at your open bedroom doorway and had turned back around to face you with this seemingly innocent, yet strangely insulting question. You noticed her first destination was to open and close a closet door on the opposite side of the living room before she peered questioningly into your bedroom, confused as to where the entrance to the rest of your enormous mansion could be.

“No, it’s just one bedroom and one bathroom.”

Her posture straightened out and her eyes flew to the other girl who was standing at the kitchen. The two girls smiled at each other.

“We will be finished in an hour,

Madam Byun

. Would you prefer to remain on the premises or can we lock up for you when we leave?”

You hadn’t considered that you could just…go.

You could simply leave the unsavory bits to them and just head out to the spa or salon or out for a quick stroll in the park with a to-go cup of coffee from your favorite coffee shop.

Baekhyun had just given you an amazing gift. The gift of time.

You smiled a genuine smile and let them know that you would get dressed quickly and head out for the day. They were already busy finishing up with the mess in the kitchen when you headed toward the door.

They hailed your exit with dramatic 90 degree bows and passive smiles on their faces and you shook your head as you left, catching the eye of the one you figured to be the leader on your way out with an instruction for them, using your very best authorities manager voice so they knew you meant business.

“Make sure you tell him you all worked for, at least, 4 full hours today and make sure he pays you for it. I won’t accept any less. Let me know if he gives you any trouble. I can be even more annoying than he is. Got it?”

At last, the smiles on their faces were real and pulled as wide as their surprised eyes were. You closed the door to a chorus of their cheerful farewells ready to venture out into the world on a mission now to make yourself as sexy and beautiful as humanly possible.

You were going to absolutely kill that man tonight.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You looked like a jewel.

You’d been to the salon for hair and makeup; had been to the spa for a waxing and skin treatment. You’d had everything that could be plucked and everything that could be massaged, filed, shaped and painted and the moment you pulled up the sparkly flesh colored, curve hugging, mini dress up over you hips, slipped the nude colored straps over your shoulders and reached just behind you to zip up the hidden zipper and turned to look over your own surprising reflection in your floor length mirror you gave yourself a tiny spin in place.

The dress sparkled like facets of a diamond even in your sparsely lit bedroom. The slight sparkling fringe moved when you moved and where the delicate pattern of the sparkles stopped, the dress gave the illusion of showing a lot more skin than it did; thanks to the fact that it seemed to blend in with your skin tone perfectly. There were some places in which the illusion broke; such as the high slit that crept up so high on your smooth bare thigh or on either side of your breasts where whatever bits of covering fabric simply stopped existing and the slightest glimpse of skin outlined the curves of your body.

The dress was sexy. It looked good on you and you felt beautiful, desirable, and powerful in it.

You bought it a few months ago. You’d happened upon this particular number in a boutique and hadn’t ever planned on spending this much on a dress at the time but when you’d held the dress up to yourself; shrugged and thought what’s the worst that could happen if you just tried it on, well…

Turns out, the worst that could happen was if it you as if it were made exclusively for you and you fell absolutely in love with every sparkly bit that curved over your hips, and hugged tightly around your waist; despite the fact that it was actually much more money than you’d ever wanted to spend on a single garment for one night; and was actually much sexier of a look than you thought you had a right to pull off at the time. What with being single and alone and undesired and the last thing you wanted was the purely animalistic looks you’d recognize in many of the men’s eyes; muted only by the scrutiny of the women around you who leaned toward bitchy and jealous when presented with a woman who wore such a sexy look with confidence and power around them.

You were beyond giving a damn anymore. At least when it comes to anyone who might have anything negative to say about you.

You left your neck bare; the dress was distracting and the cut away sides that gave just enough side boob with the way it landed below your arms and the delicately low cut neckline, you didn’t think you needed to draw any more attention below your neck. Instead you opted only to wear some delicate dangly earrings that might occasionally distract the occasional wandering eyes should they find themselves so inclined to look.

One item though; one very distracting and obvious item had you second guessing.

The diamond engagement ring.

Should you wear it? Something so obvious in its meaning in a place filled with so many people who both had no business knowing the truth and who really shouldn’t know at this point in the game.

You vacillated.
Putting it on and taking it off at least three times before you let out the longest sigh and simply moved the ring to your right hand. Maybe you’d get the nerve to move it back when you saw him tonight. Maybe you’d change your mind when his eyes fell down to the empty ring finger of your left hand, then slipped over to catch the sparks that flew and caught his eyes from your right hand and looked back up into your own with whatever flash of disappointment in his eyes hidden so quickly you would question whether you’d seen anything at all.

He would understand. This was work. This was your career. These were your coworkers and this was your professional reputation. Sure, the truth would have to come out eventually, but you were desperate to put a little bit of distance between you being his direct supervisor and him being your soon to be husband.

The ring felt foreign and wrong on your right hand.

You did your best to push the feeling deep down inside of your belly where you could safely ignore it for now.

You hoped for a few things tonight.

That you wouldn’t collapse into a heap of love-sickness when you saw him.

That you could manage to keep yourself from drinking too much alcohol in some weak plan to keep yourself from collapsing into a heap of love-sickness when you saw him.

That Baekhyun would … that he might perhaps, by-chance, maybe you kind of, sort of, you hoped that Baekhyun would fall into a heap of love-sickness when he saw you.

You slinked closer to your front door; making the briefest stop at the entryway table that you kept at the door for one final touch. Something you knew he would very well struggle against when he leaned in close for a harmless and chaste touch of his soft cheek against yours; a hand that might linger on your waist when he came in close for a greeting he would smell the fragrance you sprayed against your neck. He would smell it here when he leaned close to whisper into your ear to ask you something harmless like ‘Would you like another drink, Miss Manager? This is already your second one, will you be okay?’, ‘Did you order the chicken or the fish, Miss Manager?’ or ‘Would you like to dance with me, Miss Manager?’

You felt giddy with anticipation.

All of your team members would be mingling with the other department team members; all of whom had worked tirelessly on this project from the very start. There would even be speeches and acknowledgments of a job well done. Another successful project completed. High ratings would be teased at. The liquor and the beer would flow in a grateful celebration as the wallets of the biggest, fattest cats got bigger and fatter.

Upper level producers, directors, and project executives would likely be on their second or third drinks by now and would start to set their wandering eyes on some of the younger, fresher girls as the alcohol gave them just enough of a push for a flirtatious compliment. Tucked away somewhere within the grand ballroom, one might even catch a glimpse of blond hair adoring a handsome face atop of a pair or strong, broad shoulders that would fill out a designer suit in a way that would surely take anyone’s breath away.

The taxi driver took a turn and you lifted a hand to grab a hold of the grip above the window and your nose caught the scent of your perfume. You were always careful not to overdo it. He might not even notice it until his face came in close to you. Maybe while you were both dancing. Maybe while he sat beside you at the table and leaned down to pick up your napkin that had slipped to the floor by your feet; reaching down at the same moment that you did, your heads nearly colliding.

You had to watch yourself tonight. Maybe three drinks maximum. Maybe three dances maximum. Any more than that was simply too dangerous.

Of course deep down inside you hoped his secret whispered questions wouldn’t

all

be so very appropriate. In your mind, his questions shifted as you sat in the backseat of the taxi to the hotel where the party was surely well underway by now. You didn’t mind being a bit late to these things. You’d spent the entirety of the year being obsessively dependable and chronically punctual but this was the end. This was the celebration. You could afford to relax now.

The first few times you’d attended, the idea of letting go on a weekday evening felt somewhat forbidden. But this was how they usually scheduled them for the sake of stretching out whatever was left of the budget. The rates were better on a week-night party and you knew the studio could even splurge on an open bar if they planned it well enough. You’d been to enough of these parties to know how they worked. Glitz and glamor, plenty of alcohol, lots of dancing, even more schmoozing. You giggled to yourself recalling the wild rumors and gossip that quickly spread through the last wrap party. It seems that a pair of particularly drunk party goers were caught making out in a darkened corner. It seemed that something scandalous had taken place in a hidden stairwell. Some drunken debauchery led to another pair waking up in the same bed together and at least two walk-of-shames had allegedly been witnessed by some particularly gossip loving members of the group chat that blew up your phone the next morning.

You really, really needed to watch yourself tonight. Absolutely no more than four drinks. A firm and immovable limit you would under no circumstances bend under. Four drinks and spread out thin. Maybe five if they seemed particularly watered down, but that was it. The most, the absolute most dances you would allow with him would be five. And the majority would be fast songs; not all of them slow dances. Not all of them touching each other lightly and carefully as not to sink fingertips too deep into any flesh; in the dimly lit crowded space that felt much more intimate than it had any right to. At least you should keep from staring for too long into the dark brown irises of his eyes. Two, or three, slow dances, max. You would not lose yourself in the embrace of his arms. You would not lean your head over his shoulder as his arms wrapped around your waist and the lyrics grew more romantic over the top of your heads. You would not hold your breath as you strained to listen to the sound of his heart beating inside of his chest over the sound of the music up ahead.

Your imagination quickly ran away from you and you ignored the fact that none of your math seemed to be making any sense right now.

‘Oh really? Was she, Miss Manager? I didn’t notice.’

‘Honestly, I can’t seem to see anyone else but you tonight, Miss Manager.’

‘Miss Manager … I heard that some of the staff just book a room after these parties so they don't have to drive.’

‘Do you think any of them are seeing each other?’

‘Do you think any of them are obsessed with each other?’

‘Do you think any of them are desperate for each other?’

’Do you think any of them are like us?’

‘Miss Manager …’

‘Noona …’

‘Baby…

‘Should we just go up and get a room?’

You were giggling all alone in the back seat of this taxi. You’d forgotten yourself for long enough for a genuine snort of giggles to escape and you quickly laid a palm over your mouth to somehow catch them and put them back in.

Instinctively your eyes looked toward the cab driver and you caught a split second of eye contact with the man in the rear view mirror before he looked away with an amused grin on his face.

The hotel lobby was opulent and fancy. This was a good one. You dared to guess it was nicer than the last one, but this had been a bigger project with a bigger price tag. You were certain you’d spot an occasional cast member mingling amongst the production staff tonight; doing their due diligence; securing their next big role.

It was a grand event. You could hear the exciting sounds of the crowd inside the moment you stepped up to the foyer doors that would lead to the grand ballroom.

You were so late that it seemed the first episode had already aired. You’d missed the grand unveiling and the credits rolling. You were sure the congratulatory speeches and awards had already been passed out. There were never any such accolades for any one in your field so you didn’t really feel too bad about missing that part. You had entered the open space where larger crowds lingered. Hotel staff passed by with trays of drinks and small bites or held doors for you as you passed through doorways from spaces where people dressed to the nines just as you were, mingled; drank; laughed loudly and freely.

The stress and incredible effort of the past few months was finally let go. Smiles all around were genuine. It felt as if the culmination of a career’s worth of effort had finally amounted to something quite tangible here. The project, like countless you’d worked on in the past, had been a success. Well received by critics, audiences, and sold well to streaming services. Whispers of the next season filtered to your ears and you smiled widely to person after person; all familiar and all just as relieved by the good news as you felt.

They were all familiar in a once or twice introduced or professional acquaintance sort of way. You had yet to come across the members of your team and with as cliquey as things tended to grow after suffering together for so long, you were sure you’d find them in close proximity to each other.

You were sure you’d find another sort of familiar face amongst them. You couldn’t help the drift of your eyes over the heads of the crowds as you searched for that familiar shade of blond hair.

There were a few false alarms. That one was too tall, this one wasn’t even a man.

You heard a gasp that called your focus to your right and you’d at last found some of your team.

“Miss Manager, you look incredible!” Marci covered her open mouth with a palm and her wide eyes drifted over the length of you, her startled reaction pulled your lips into an amused grin. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.” She had a drink in her hands and her eyes had an excited glassiness to them. Already. You giggled when she gripped you tightly around the hand and shook it lightly and you were opening your mouth to refute her claims.

“Nah ~ I always dress up for these events.”

“Like a goddess!” She shouted over the music that had picked up in volume. She was joined by a few other team members and their eyes looked you up and down with the same sort of excited wonder.

“Sandi,” Marci shouted out over your shoulder and you turned your head toward the direction she was looking, “look at how pretty she looks tonight!” Sandi looked upon you with a quiet smile and a knowing expression behind her eyes and before long, Sandi and Marci were soon joined by some of the other girls in your team and you were quickly surrounded by a chorus of oohs and aahs. It seemed you had been just a bit later than you had expected because it was becoming evident that the drinking had been going on for quite some time already. Someone pushed a drink into your hand declaring that you needed to catch up. You were quickly caught up in the excitement and to quiet their noisy cries you raised what you knew was some sort of shot of alcohol and quickly downed it. It burned and tasted bad and someone else shoved a quarter of a lime between your lips. Tequila.

You needed to be more careful. Of all of the liquors that took your rational mind and tossed it quickly out the window, tequila was one of the most dangerous ones.

It was useless though. Everyone was too worked up and much too excited to listen to your polite declinations.

This is a party,

they all shouted. You’d had another shot of something else; influenced by the excitement that buzzed through them like a flu, spreading from them to you; you were too caught up. Two. You could still keep your wits about you with just two drinks.

Let’s go dance together,

someone else urged. You grinned and you pushed your hands forward, promising them that you would join them as soon as you were able to. Just as soon as you made your rounds and said your greetings to your superiors. They gave small groans of disappointment that was quickly forgotten as soon as the next songs began playing in the speakers over their heads. It was a fun and popular pop song and the small group jumped up and down excitedly, abandoning you and your self proclaimed very important managerial duties that still called your name.

And you certainly would greet whoever you happened to run into. Producers and managers from other teams. You nodded politely, shook their hands and gave your sweetest smiles to some of your favorites.

Sophie Choi grabbed you tightly around the shoulders and pulled you in for a warm hug and over her shoulders your eyes scanned the room for any shades of hair that were anything other than black. You’d begun to feel just a little bit desperate the longer you looked and came up empty.

As your eyes searched they met with a pair of eyes that were indeed familiar. You pushed a smile on your lips, making absolutely certain that your expression showed not even a hint of the disappointment you were beginning to feel the longer you searched through in this place and did not find the person you were really looking for.

Ben from the marketing department gave you an almost undetectable double take and his eyes drifted over the length of you before the ultra polite professional smile quickly took over whatever look you might have imagined seeing in his eyes. Perhaps his team had pressured him into having a few more drinks that he had intended to as well. Perhaps that was the reason for the way his focus seemed to linger in places other than your shrewd, business-like eyes and co-worker-appropriate placid smile.

Ben leaned into you with his greeting, a warm hand landing just over your back as he did it. His words spoke into the space where he leaned near your ear. The music was loud, of course, he had to speak up a bit. Despite the unusually close proximity between the two of you and the warm palm that still sat quite high up on your bare shoulder, a part of you marveled at just how little thought you actually gave to anything other than the words coming from his mouth.

He was talking about work. Asking you about this new co-worker who you had sent him. This mystery man who would soon be joining his Marketing Communication team as his newest Marcom Specialist; an impressive sounding title for sure. You gave yourself the smallest internal pat on the back for pulling the necessary strings to sell Ben on such a move for your former assistant. Although it wasn’t as if Baekhyun was any stranger to blatant favoritism in this company, you still felt pretty green when it came to nepotism. Not that it was even needed. The second Ben found out who Baekhyun was, he would have agreed straight away. This man was basically guaranteed to be everyone’s boss one day.

Still, urged by your own guilt, you’d made the deal with plenty of back-end promises to owe Ben big time for this, and knowing the man, he would cash in on those favors as soon as he was met with even the slightest bit of resistance from some of the other managers. After this quick chat with Ben, you felt good about this change.

Ben was now giggling and asking about special treatment the President's son might require; his eyes not even trying to conceal the apprehension that broke through the nervous laughter that he was obviously feeling for agreeing to play host to such a high profile guest. You were quick to refute any such ideas. Your former assistant would be a valuable addition and an asset to his team. At no point in your working with Baekhyun had he ever given any sort of impression that he was even capable of using his birth as a professional advantage. Ben was lucky to have such a talented person working at his side and this was not a decision he would regret.

“I’ll admit I’m still a little bit suspicious of my new charge. But I’ll trust you for now,” he smiled genuinely with his eyes, sated for now.

Ben had always been kind. He had been great in the few instances as you’d had to work with him and he was not unattractive. Although the deeper parts of your brain tended to describe his good looks in rather clinical terms. He looked clean. He looked symmetrical. Conventionally attractive. A safe bet. Perhaps even a little boringly so. The kind of attractive looks that one might have with the occasional medical and orthodontic intervention courtesy of a pair of well-off parents who were probably still securely married to this day.

You couldn’t help the way your mind wandered. You also did very little to stop it. It was probably the alcohol's fault. You had somehow finished another drink. Looking into Ben’s harmless and clean smile you heard a judgemental whisper deep within your subconscious. Comparing this man to the other man who had a death grip on your heart and your soul and your lady parts for good measure. Ben was nice but also felt extremely sterile. Curious judgements of the man slipped in. A man like this, and you’d known a few through the years, but, a man like Ben in the bedroom would not always be a disappointment. But he would not be a triumph either.

With a man like this, a woman might even be satisfied and perhaps thirty percent of the time she might even orgasm. As long as she managed that before fifteen minutes were up of course. A man like this definitely had a time limit.

This was definitely the alcohol speaking.

“Sophie!” A familiar voice interrupted your mind's silly wandering and brought a dark shadow along with it.

You heard his loud abrasive laugh. It sounded fake and forced. The owner of that familiar voice calling for Sophia Choi was lingering close by. It was Sophie’s 1st. The very same man you’d promised your boyfriend you wouldn’t allow yourself an opportunity to spend time alone with. The man who looked you up and down with an unfiltered, animalistic look in his drunken eyes and wagged perfectly manicured eyebrows up and down as his lips pulled into something in between a sneer and a delighted grin.

Chet.

Your eyes rolled and you exhaled a slow breath.

You weren’t too much of a drinker. Occasionally and only in social settings; you rarely let loose too often outside of that. Alcohol wasn’t your first medicine of choice and in situations when others might want to drown their sorrows in something to make the mind far far away from reality; you usually made other self detrimental choices like not eating for a week until you got so dizzy you had to force down a bowl of oatmeal, or on the opposite spectrum downing a quart of ice cream until you felt so full and bloated you had no choice but to wallow in your own self curated misery.

“Chet.” Ben nodded his head, and a single eyebrow danced above his eye, “enjoying the party, I see.” Something in Ben’s tone told you that he didn’t have a very high opinion of the man either.

Chet pulled his eyes up from his blatant and obvious examination of your chest and gave Ben a two second glance with a curt nod before his focus was back on you; thankfully on your face now instead of wherever his lustful eyes had been looking.

“Miss Manager,” you heard Chet tack your name onto the end of your title and the sounds of his words had the sort of inflection that told you he had very much intended to keep talking. “That’s quite a dress. You look …

very

pretty tonight.”

“Doesn’t she look

so pretty

, Ben? Like a pretty little princess.” Chet’s words were on the surface directed at Ben but his eyes did not leave you. Although they had drifted from your face again.

“So… I was wondering, Miss Princess—” Chet’s eyes moved slowly back up into your face and the excessive way he drew out the S sounds made his words slither like a snake up the back of your spine.

Ben’s body language had changed with the off-putting new nickname and weirdly confrontational tone Chet somehow felt was appropriate to use with you.

“Whoa. Hey—” Ben had noticeably stiffened and his face pulled into a frown as he lifted a hand, palm facing outward about chest level, calling the other man out audibly for the disrespect.

“Maybe you should slow down on the drinks tonight, Man.” Like any rational person might, Ben attributed Chet’s bad behavior to an alcohol induced slip up. It was an easier conclusion to accept than the realization that maybe Chet was just an asshole who didn’t see women as real people and only showed them basic human decency when delusioned by the chance to fuck them.

Once you’d taken that off the table, Chet no longer had any reason to fake it. This was the real Chet.

His intentions toward you had taken on more transparent and obvious meaning. Had you been completely in your right mind, you might have even sensed a little danger in the darkness you saw in those eyes of his.

But as you stood now, you cared too little about this person. He was insignificant in your life. Let him throw his fit. You were simply not interested in whatever it was he felt he had to say to you and so you allowed your eyes to drift away from both of these men, giving almost no acknowledgement at all to Chet or to his greeting or to whatever the hell he was wondering about. You didn’t even give him the satisfaction of acting offended.

You could blame the loud music for not hearing him. You could blame the alcohol for giving you the nerve to turn your back and walk away from him the way you did. He could blame you for being a cold bitch for all you cared. You’d been clear with him in the past when you told him he wasn’t to speak to you unless absolutely necessary and only for work.

It wasn’t that you liked to hold grudges. It was just that you had seen his true colors already and you simply could not unsee them now.

As you left the two men behind you heard Ben’s attempts at being a rational adult. Their bickering voices quickly faded though when the crowds moved and you saw the familiar shape of a man in a deep blue suit. A man with broad shoulders so significant that you felt a warmth surge deep within your belly when your eyes landed on his back. The effect was instantaneous. It was the sudden blast of a warm shower after being caught in the cold rain. It was the warmth of the summer sunshine hitting your face as the dark clouds parted and heat penetrated every layer of your skin. He was life and happiness and joy and love and the sudden shift within your body nearly gave you whiplash with how complete and instant this transformation that happened inside of you was.

It was him. It was Baekhyun. You knew him in an instant. You’d found him.

He was standing next to your team. You saw Marci, Sandi, Ju Won, Sera, and even Sunny — your newest Assistant. He was laughing with a hand over his mouth; you heard his genuine delight and loud guffaws pierce through the crowds. His back was to you and you dropped your hand that held your empty glass hanging it down by your thigh and you simply took in the sight of him. For just a moment you allowed those feelings to fill you completely. You knew you had to be staring. You knew if someone was paying any attention to you right now they’d know without a doubt how very in love you were with this man.

The suit was fitted. Cinched at the waist and it looked designer, of course and very expensive. He filled it out very well. You could make out the strength in his back, the biceps in his arms. The plushness of his thighs below where the jacket ended. The knowledge that this man was yours bubbled up inside of your chest and you had to lift your fingertips to lightly touch over the heat you felt in your face, begging some of the flushness you felt to dissipate.

Earlier as you wandered around this busy place, greeting people you knew on a surface level it all felt very performative. You would push up your smile wide and believable. You would use your kindest and sweetest voice to speak out many compliments and it felt like work.

This though — standing here and looking at this man. The smile you felt was real. I took no effort. It took more effort to blank out your face and pretend like you weren’t looking at your person; the one that felt like home to you.

Only something was very different. The hair. His hair. No wonder you couldn’t find him earlier; you’d been searching for blond hair. He had done something new.

His hair was brown now. It looked like rich honey or dark caramel in this lighting. It was coiffed and styled up by an expert’s hand and when he turned you caught the sight of his profile. The contrast between the dark hair and his light skin, the slight pink of his cheeks and his pouty lips as he spoke; the dark eyebrows and pretty black of his eyelashes and the specks of the tiny moles on his lovely face — all of it; all of him — you were reeling. You felt frozen. You hadn't been prepared for such a drastic change. He should have told you first. He should have sent you a picture so you could get your reaction ready.

He hadn’t told you that he was going to change his hair color. Although he seemed to change it so often you really should have prepared yourself for the possibility of such a thing but everything about this felt so different.

Still the suddenness of this; the impact of how shockingly beautiful he looked with this particular up-style in this particular shade of caramel; your mind was spinning and you were having a moment in the middle of this crowded party too stunned to take another step.

You caught the moment when Sandi noticed you and she reached out a hand to touch lightly on Baekhyun’s forearm; catching his attention easily, her eyes bounced pointedly to where you stood like a statue glued to the floor behind him.

Baekhyun followed. First with his eyes and then he turned his head before he spun halfway around and he looked into your face; his eyes landing first into your own stunned ones.

The smile he had from the lively chat sank, flattened and vanished when he saw you. His eyes had a drift to them. Those deep brown irises took you in. It was an achingly slow journey from your face where his brown eyes had first sunk in with a splash. But their flighty focus slid down to the bare skin of your neck and your chest. They took their time at the deep plunge of the neckline and the peek of cleavage this dress displayed; no doubt triggering flashes of memories of his mouth and the bite marks he’d left all over your breasts that the sheer swirls of this fabric concealed. The drift of him moved again; lower and lower until you felt thoroughly consumed and had by him. He absorbed you — all of you. He did it slowly and he savored it.

This look from him, this reaction left you dumbfounded; even more so than seeing him standing there looking exactly as he should on your wedding day complete with the hair, the slight eye makeup his stylist had put on him that accentuated his beauty, the expertly fit suit in the exact shade of navy blue satin that complimented him so well and made him stand out like a goddamned god amongst mortals. That he could so affect you in absolute silence; without a word, without a single touch, with only the look in his eyes, was a wonder.

In addition to the new and sudden warmth that built up under the surface of your skin you also felt a rush of power. You very much enjoyed this feeling. This dress in all of its sparkly, curve hugging and teasingly enticing glory from the beginning to where it abruptly ended, so high up on your thighs, it just might have been worth the hefty price tag afterall. Just for this reaction from him.

You wondered at that moment if he’d dressed up for you just as you had done for him.

His eyes had made it down. His gaze was faltering and he was pushing through it. Halfway through the journey back up to once again meet your waiting eyes and now, victorious smile, his parted lips tensed and he snapped his jaw up tight with a visible clench of the muscles on his face and his chest rose with the sudden intake of air through his nose. Then he bit down on his bottom lip, furrowed his eyebrows and he pushed his eyes forcefully away from you; he looked off somewhere else; anywhere else; eyes completely devoid of any focus as he exhaled a purposefully stunted and restrained breath through his parted lips.

You knew you had to do the same. You had to blank out your expression and get rid of the lustful look in your eyes. You had to put on the falsely confident, bright as sunshine smile that did not betray any of your true feelings.

It took some doing. It took a deep breath, quite similar to the one he’d drawn into his lungs just now and you also had to look at something that was not him.

You chose the floor right in front of your feet. You shook your head a tiny bit to rid yourself of whatever leftover bits of haze might still be floating around inside of there and you forced your feet to move.

It was only two or three steps to join the group and you slipped into an empty space between Sunny and Baekhyun, looking at the other friendly faces first before you dared to look head-on into his face from this close.

There were greetings of course. Your eyes danced around the small circle quite quickly and by the time you had taken as many deep and steadying breaths of air you were going to get, you looked up into his face with an absolutely passive and non-sexually charged smile on your face.

“Assistant Byun,” you said with a tick of your face in his direction. He hadn’t been looking at you either. When you spoke his name, you saw him lick his lips, close his eyes tightly once and quickly replace the tension in his jaw with a small smile before he turned his attention to you. Your words were light and you let the surprise out of your voice as casually as you could, “you changed your hair?”

“Or I guess it’s Specialist Byun now, isn’t it?” A single eyebrow danced over one of your eyes and you ticked your head a tiny bit. His focus shifted down and as he caught the movement a look of alarm flew across his face. Those pink pouty lips parted. You watched from up close, the tiny gasp he took the moment you lifted a hand and rolled several strands of this new hair of his between your fingertips and your thumb; resisting the urge to sink your hand in deep and run your fingers through his hair; scraping the warmth of his scalp lightly with your fingernails; eliciting that low throaty moan that you knew would escape from deep within his chest when you did it.

Instead you just smiled wider, dropped your hand without even letting the pads of your fingers run down the smooth warmth of his pretty face, you just dropped your hand down, gripping the stem of this empty wine glass instead of touching any other part of his body.

“I love it like this,” you said softly with affection written all over your voice, “looks so good on you—” you added with a sudden halt at the end of your words as you realized you’d just said all of that with honey dripping off of your tongue, directing genuine compliments toward the man in the presence of at least half of your entire team. The effects of your sudden, easy, and completely out-of-character declarations left him as shell-shocked as you felt on the inside.

“Miss Manager … I’ve never seen you like this. You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?” Sandi interjected loudly from the other side of where Baekhyun stood frozen; an amused smile on her face and her eyes wide with a purposeful look that went deeper than others could catch on to.

“I also went to the salon, don’t you love my hair too?” Her lips pulled into a dramatic pout and you smiled wider, understanding that she was saving your ass right now. You leaned into it. Feeling every bit of the warmth of those alcohol shots coursing through your veins you closed the distance between you and this wonderful woman as you gripped both sides of her head with your hands and leaned in closely with a wide smile. You leaned your forehead into hers, unspoken messages of thanks written all over your eyes.

“You look so beautiful. I love it! It’s absolutely stunning!” You declared and the delighted giggles left your chest mingled and mixed with the cadence of the rest of the group's laughter. “And I am, maybe, a tiny bit drunk right now.”

“Oh she has been drinking,” you heard several relieved voices justifying your odd behavior just now. “Well — yeah, it is a party.”

“I thought he was going to faint just now.”

“I know, right. She doesn’t know the power she has over him. Poor guy didn't know what to do.” Their words were whispered in hushed asides between casual members of this small group, but you still caught them. Perhaps Baekhyun’s crush on you had only ever been a secret to you. You must have been the blindest, dimmest, worst work-aholic ever.

Marci was your next target. She was already laughing when you poked an index finger into her cheek, calling her cute as a button. Your hand was off of Sandi and you wrapped one around each of the girls shoulders and declared them both to be the most beautiful women in the room as you urged them both to join you on the dance floor. The music had picked up and more and more people had ventured out to get lost in the crowds and move their bodies to the beat of the music.

You danced and danced. Song after song played and you found yourself completely lost in this unfiltered joy; with so many of your favorite people cheering and laughing and dancing along with you. There was more alcohol that simply appeared and try as you might, you were no match for this kind of pressure.

You’d lost count.

Oh no.

You’d lost count of them.

Still, somehow you could always feel the warm arm of your Sandi by your side. She was strong, but you’d found your way to the edge of the dance floor, peering out toward the tables where a handsome man in a navy blue suit was giggling and laughing with some other men. That same handsome man was throwing back a shot of something, he was making a face and pulling a green lime out from in between his teeth and licking his lips and oh, his eyes, his eyes were darting from the faces of his friends into your own eyes again and again. He was pulling you into him.

“I’m going to dance with him,” you said abruptly to the group of women beside you. Several faces leaned in, unable to hear you over the loud music and you repeated with an evident slur in your voice, “Him. I want to dance with him. Bring him to me. I want him.” You pointed a finger toward Baekhyun and the women were all giggling. One of them was off, rushing toward where he leaned against his table resting his hands joined together over his thighs and she was leaning in close, her hand shielding her mouth as she whispered something into his ear.

His smile was wide and breathtaking. He was grinning. You’d never experienced Baekhyun in any state of intoxication before but his cheeks were pink and he was giggling as he stood up straight, pulled his suit jacket down and smoothed it over with the palms of his hands and allowed himself to be dragged by the sleeve for several feet until he was standing before you within touching distance.

You felt the palm of his hand land over your waist and you smelled the deliciousness of his cologne before you felt the heat of his cheek land over yours. He whispered into your ear.

“I heard — —- —?” A particularly loud song started. This took more than a whisper. You reached a hand up and gripped around the back of his neck, pulling his head down so you could speak loudly into his ear.

“What?” Was all you said. Less than classy and less than romantic. It had him laughing and he closed his eyes tighter as he did it. A small head shake from him preceded the tightening of his arm’s grip around your waist and he gave a rough tug. You stumbled into him and with his other hand, he reached for your face.

You felt unprepared for this. His touch. His touch here, in this place. All of these people. The stiffness you felt all over his body and the way he smelled. How much could you get away with blaming on the alcohol? That hand that touched your face reached for you, slipping around to the back of your neck, he dipped into you. With the entire length of your bodies touching you felt the hot breath from his mouth fan out over your ear and you heard the low rumble from his throat as he growled out the words for you to hear.

“You. Want. Me.”

What was he saying?

What was he doing to you in front of all of these people by saying such a thing to you in the way that he said it?

“To dance,” you shouted over the music, quite loudly, not just for him but for anyone else who might have been watching you.

Baekhyun was laughing again. Loudly. It shook his entire body and you along with it.

“That’s what I meant, silly girl.” He was pushing you deeper into the dance floor with his hands still around your waist, he simply walked forward and you were forced to step back; stumbling a few times without knowing where you were going until the tightness with which he held you around the waist grew stronger and stiffer and his body heat built as his muscles flexed. You were no longer relying on your own feet. You were being carried by these strong arms. He lifted you as he moved. The room was spinning and oh no, what if someone saw?

What if someone noticed the obvious ease and intimate familiarity with which this man handled your body?

You were deposited. The song had changed again. It was, thankfully, another lively quick tempoed pop song; one you liked quite a lot. You found the rhythm easily with his arms around you. He led you around, his eyes boring deep within yours, pushing you out with strong arms and pulling you back.

You followed where he sent you and you found yourself finally giving in. Giggling and squealing when you were spun around in a dizzying circle before you were once again caught in those arms and then, much to your absolute terror, dipped down, frighteningly fast, you were looking straight up into the strings of lights that decorated the ceiling and clawing into the fabric over his strong shoulders; holding on for dear life. Before you were dropped flat on your back in an embarrassing heap, you found the gravity had changed very suddenly and you were back on your feet with this man biting down very hard on his own lip to keep from doing something stupid like leaning in to kiss the red hot embarrassment from the surface of your cheeks.

Baekhyun was a good dancer. He made your dancing seem that much better by comparison, but really, you were simply being dragged around by someone who seemed to know exactly what he was doing. You weren’t awful. You had the basics down and easily found your footing; moving easily to the beat again and again whenever he relinquished a little bit of control over to you. You were lost in this. You never, ever wanted this to end. Devastatingly though, it did.

You were genuinely surprised and even pouting quite visibly when the song ended. It was too quick. If dancing with him was your excuse to touch him and to be held by him tonight then you wanted to dance with him for the rest of the evening.

The song had ended and you stood with both of his arms wrapped around your waist and the rhythm of his heavy breathing matched yours perfectly. You found yourself staring at his parted lips, watching the movement in them as he breathed; glimpsing m the tip of his tongue that lightly touched the underside of his front teeth.

“I told you —” you heard the softest whisper from him. The words from him, desperate and careful, piled up slowly one by one inside of your head, “I might not behave myself if you looked too pretty—”

He squeezed his eyes shut and you recognized that the tightness in his arms did not let up.

“How dare you show up in this dress — how dare you — ohh, I’ve been drinking…what do — what do I do?”

His jaw snapped shut and his eyes stayed closed.

“I want to kiss you. You fit so perfectly in my arms.”

His grip was still so tight and the music had changed. The song was slow and lovely and romantic with a soft and delicate melody. Around you, the crowds began to thin as friendly coworkers who had no intention of turning into lovers began to drift away from the dance floor; back to their tables for another drink, or over to the bathrooms, or over to mingle and chat in one of the lounge areas.

“Push me away — please.” His words came as a plea through clenched teeth, “unless you want me to kiss you in front of all of these people, please push me and go. Leave me here.” He was serious. He had enough of his mind still intact to ask for help.

His words and the shift in the air had brought you out of the spell and one glance around had you making eye contact with the occasional curious observer. People were slow with it, but every now and then you would catch someone’s eyes.

Why were the two of you still in such a tight embrace? What are they doing? They aren’t even moving anymore. The song ended, shouldn’t they go back to the table?

So you lifted a hand to place over his chest, giving a very light tap atop of his beating heart.

You left your hand to rest there and noticed he didn’t move. It took a slightly firmer hand, you tapped again and pushed, also taking a step back away from him.

The arms loosened and his eyes were opening. You stepped out of his embrace. He was not looking at you, but down at the empty space between his hands where you’d once occupied.

“I’ll go to the bathroom,” you offered, hanging your head slightly as you stepped quickly off the dance floor. You resisted the urge to look back until you were safely at the hallways that led to the restrooms. When you finally did turn and look back, he was nowhere to be found.

The bathrooms were impeccably clean and well lit. You spared yourself a quick glance in the mirror just to be sure that nothing was out of place and you were pleasantly surprised by what you saw. While the reflection staring back at you did take a few moments to stop looking blurry and dizzy, your professional salon makeup job hadn’t seemed to budge and your hair and dress still looked perfect. Furthermore, the soft pink glow in your cheeks and sparkle you saw shining back in your eyes seemed to make you look even better. It was the alcohol, of course.

This was it. You wouldn’t drink any more alcohol tonight. You had plenty to still feel good and you could still reasonably think well enough to avoid making any disastrous mistakes.

When you were satisfied that the danger for such mistakes had passed, you left the sanctity of that private calm space for the darkened hallway just outside. The contrast between the well lit bathrooms and the darkened hallway on the other side of the door had you struggling for your eyes to focus and with the second step you felt the telltale bump of your shoulder against a warm body.

You were quick to step aside and drop your face, uttering a quiet apology for bumping into someone but there was no response that came immediately. It only took a half a second more for you to recognize who this person was.

You smelled it first. It was kind of an acrid alcohol scent and a distinct fragrance from one of those drugstore deodorant sprays, the kinds that prepubescent teen boys spray way too much of as they wander through their high school hallways. You’d always smelled it when he demanded his greeting hugs and you smelled it now.

The realization made you exhale a low breath of irritation and you turned to leave this place and walk away from this conversation before it began.

“Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”

Chet’s words slurred even more than that had earlier in the evening.

You already felt exhausted by this. “Chet, you are drunk. We are not having this conversation.”

“You avoid me now. You blocked me.” His words were filled with vitriol and his big body moved to block you off from the exit. All you cared about at this point was removing yourself from this darkened hallway and getting back into the spaces where more people congregated. “You used to be cool but now, now you’re just like … this—”

“If you have any actual, substantial complaints about working with me,” you cut him off. You didn’t want him to say something he was going to regret when he sobered up, “please feel free to contact HR in the morning and we will follow the proper channels to get this resolved. I don’t want you to speak to me outside of work — not alone.”

“Do you know how many times I bought you lunch? Only for you to blow me off like this?”

Was he serious? Was he really saying you owed him more than what you had initially thought was friendship; what you later learned was what he hoped would be something physical just because he used the company card to pay for your lunches sometimes?

His arguments were so stupid you had a physical reaction. You had been trying your best not to react to any of the idiotic things he said but this simply had you overcome. You rolled your eyes hard, crossed your arms over your chest and scoffed out loud.

“Please. Please send me a bill for your itty bitty sandwiches, Chet. I would gladly pay anything to be done with you.” Your voice dripped with sarcasm. You had perhaps gone a bit far. You should have known a man like him had plenty to be insecure about. It was too late. You were already mad and the alcohol didn’t help you hold your tongue at all.

“We are done here.”

You’d had all you could stand. How dare this big oaf of a man try and ruin your fun night out. You caught a small gap between him and the wall and you ducked through the space, moving fast so he wouldn’t have a chance to react.

You'd made it four steps before you felt the sting of a strong hand grabbing hard around your wrist and yanking you backward in a fluid motion.

All of your forward momentum shifted in one instant and you spun around, yelping out loud from the sudden shock of being pulled back and also from the genuine pain you felt around your wrist. His hold didn’t let go when your motion stopped; instead he squeezed harder and the stinging pain turned into an ache as the bones in your wrist seemed to flex under the strength of his hold. You wondered how much they could take. You could hear the racing of your own heartbeat echoing loudly inside your ears and the frantic thumping made your already fuzzy mind begin to feel dizzy and unstable. The darkness in this hallway felt suffocating as the fear surged through you; taking your breath and making it shallow and ineffective and you cried out from the terror of this.

“Chet. You’re hurting me.” Your voice sounded so small to your own ears. It sounded helpless and like pleading. It scared you to hear yourself sound this way.

There was a new sound. A shuffling and a grunting sound and your eyes caught a swift blur of motion; someone else was here now. Someone was here.

Someone in blue; someone familiar. You felt a new set of hands on you, around your wrist there was a shove and Chet let go from the surprise of being interrupted. You grabbed at your own wrist and held it up to your chest watching the commotion unfold before you. If you hadn’t known him so well you might not even have known who this was. You could smell him. You could hear the cadence of his breathing and you could make out that specific shade of blue that he wore tonight.

Baekhyun moved quickly, reaching behind the man in one swift motion he grabbed for Chet’s suit jacket and pulled it up over the man’s face, blocking out whatever light he might have been able to see and disorienting him completely. Chet grunted and hollered like a stuck pig. If you hadn’t been so surprised by this you might have even laughed. You saw Baekhyun shoving hard at the man’s back as Chet tried to untangle himself from beneath the coat as he struggled to breathe, struggled to identify his attacker, struggled to free himself of his own coat, it soon became clear why your boyfriend chose this route to come to your rescue.

Chet had no way of knowing who was doing this. Baekhyun didn’t say a single word despite what you knew had to be a deep ache inside of himself to tell this rat bastard to get his filthy hands off his woman and possible go fuck himself while he was at it.

Instead he merely gave one very hard final shove at the man’s back and sent him flying through the doorway of the ladies bathroom. As the door parted you briefly got a glimpse of the chaos that ensued inside that room. A drunken tangle of a man toppled to the floor surrounded by surprised and screeching women who lifted hand bags and swatted at the unwelcome intruder as they all screamed for help.

A pervert,

one of them cried. The moment he broke free from the coat long enough to open his eyes into the blinding brightly lit room of the ladies bathroom he was swiftly greeted by a rough smack of a heavy purse to the face.

Gravity pulled the door closed and the shouts and shrieks grew muffled behind that door.

You felt too stunned to move. Your hands hung limply by your side and you flinched hard when you felt his warm hands reach out to grab one of them. He held you tightly by the wrist, the same one that was still sore.

“He’s done.” Baekhyun growled. “You’ll never see him or hear from him again. He is blacklisted here and everywhere else. He can shovel shit in Kabul for all I care, that’s the choice he made by putting his fucking hands on you.”

There was a grave seriousness to his voice that you had never, ever heard from him before; in your entire history of knowing him you’ve never witnessed this kind of a reaction from him.

“Baek, I,” you lightly pulled back against his arm. He was walking faster to exit the darkened hallway and put some distance between you and what had just happened back there.

“I told you. I begged you not to be alone with him. Don’t you think I know men? I know a fucking piece of shit when I see one.”

He was worked up. He was angry and cursing and he didn’t seem to hear you call his name or feel you pull against the hold he had on your arm. From the left turn he took it seemed like he was headed for one of the far off lounges where the loud music from the grand ballroom was a distant thumping echo and someone might be able to sit and talk in peace for a while in a somewhat private space.

“Baek,” you called him again a little louder. You were still being dragged and you pulled back again; a little bit harder against him. It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful for him being there and intervening when he did. It wasn’t even that he was here dragging you around this place, where anyone who might not yet be drunk enough to pay attention, might see. It wasn’t even that he had a firm grip around the very same wrist that had been wrangled by Chet and it was honestly feeling just a little too sore from all the rough handling, but the part that you really began to feel was unfair, the part that had you stop your legs in their tracks and pull your hand roughly out of his hands, an action so unexpected from him that he turned around to look at you with wide surprised eyes, halfway through, and standing right in the middle of lounge that he’d brought you to; that part, that was what did it to you and made you move. Unfair. This was unfair.

You held your wrist up to your chest and covered it lightly with the other hand, took your eyes away from his questioning ones and looked around the room. There were some people. In the far left corner in the dark a couple sat with their drinks in their hands and their heads close enough for quiet whispers. On the other end, a woman sat with her cell phone in her hands as she frantically typed away on the screen.

You weren’t alone with him here.

Your wrist hurt.

Your feelings hurt.

The alcohol was making everything dizzy and fuzzy and your mood was quickly plummeting.

You didn’t like the wild anger you’d heard coming from him, and while, yes, it was justified — Chet had acted like an asshole and had definitely crossed a line, something in Baekhyun’s words had irked you. Something in the way he turned the situation around and seemed to imply that the responsibility for what happened was on you.

I told you.

I told you not to be alone with him.

I told you so.

He was right and you were… wrong?

What had you done wrong?

You felt it. It was in the burning inside of your eyes. A hot tingling that made you inhale a sharp breath and avert your eyes quickly from him.

“Do you believe that I did something wrong?” Your words came out as a barely inaudible whisper. You caught the motion of Baekhyun’s feet, you saw him take a step into you and you felt the light touch of his fingertips on your forearm.

There was a sharp intake of breath from him. You could heard it even with you looking down at the floor like this. You could hear the breath he took and the way it stuttered and shook. You heard the exhale that came after that and the small groan that came from deep inside him.

You couldn't do this here. There were people here. The last thing you needed was a breakdown. You had to close your eyes to stop it. Stupid alcohol. You knew it was making these bad feelings so much worse.

“No, no.” You heard him whisper under his breath. His fingertips were touching your skin, “

shit

— I didn’t —”

“I wasn’t … looking for him … I just came out of the bathroom and he was there.” Your bottom lip felt heavy. It trembled under its own weight. You pulled it in between your teeth and bit down, willing yourself to behave, willing your emotions to calm down.

“No. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry I said that.”

You were on the edge right now. Every single bit of your weak and vulnerable humanity had bubbled up right to the very rim and was threatening to crest. You were being tested and the careful control you always maintained, always begged and pleaded to keep under wraps was at its limit. You could feel it abating. You could feel yourself beginning to get on top of it the longer you stood here with your eyes closed; not saying anything to anybody and not touching anything but yourself. Not being touched by anything but the very very tips of his fingers, you could hardly even stand that much.

“I know it wasn’t anything you did.”

He needed to just wait.

“You didn’t do anything. It was him. I’m just…I’m just mad at him.”

This would pass if you just waited it out, it would pass. You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't break down here, at this party filled to the absolute brim with nearly every single person you know in your professional career.

“I’m sorry,

baby

. I made a mistake. I didn’t mean it about you. I don't think that about you. I don't believe that. I’m so sorry.”

You lifted a single finger and you held it suspended, begging for him to stop speaking for the sake of your own careful control. Your closed eyes were trembling and they were fighting to open; to look into his pretty face and to see the softness in those eyes that you know you heard in his voice.

Your hands were fighting too. You longed to feel the warmth of his chest against your own. You longed to slip inside his suit jacket and wrap yourself around him. But you knew, you knew you weren’t alone with him here. You knew such a thing would be too much; would push you over the edge; would destroy whatever carefully crafted self-soothing emotional control you’d been just on the verge of.

You lost the feeling of his fingertips. The shift pulled your eyes open and you looked down at his feet that hadn’t moved at all. He didn’t leave but he’d taken his touch off of you.

He was too quiet. You had to look.

You started slowly, pulling your stinging eyes up to look at his face. You could see his lips, silently waiting and closed. Motionless. Not demanding; not accusing; not judging.

You looked up into his brown eyes and he was watching your face so closely. His body stood as physically close as he thought you might allow right now and within his eyes sat a deep seated worry. The moment you looked at him, looked into his face and looked into his eyes he inhaled a breath through his nose and you caught the slight motion in his throat as he swallowed.

”Can I touch your shoulder? I won’t grab your wrist, I’m sorry — I wasn’t thinking. I’m just — we can go somewhere private — if you want me to come.” His words were so stifled and unsure you felt a fresh wave of emotions bubbling up inside of your chest. The surge must have been visible in your face somehow because he took the smallest step back and he leaned away from you, changing his plan with one sentence, “or you can just follow me,” he said in a single breath, with a tick of his face and a lift of his eyebrows.

On his mouth, in his lips, manifested the saddest nervous smile you’d ever witnessed.

You were filled with regrets for having seen it.

“Baek,” you whispered and you let your lips frown dramatically.

This was a terrible feeling. This was awful. You wanted to hold him. You wanted him to hold you.

Instead you lifted a hand, palm up and motioned vaguely beyond where he stood; sighing in defeat and lifting your eyebrows with a small shake of your head.

He silently turned around and walked further into the lounge, through a doorway that led to what looked like a sliding glass door. The wall here was lined with curtains and you figured this had to be some outside patio. You wondered how this might possibly be a private space with as many guests of this party just wandering around this area non-stop, but you kept your mouth shut when he reached inside his coat pocket, pulled out his wallet and peered inside. You saw his fingertips leafing through several business card shaped items and after a few false alarms he pulled out a small flat white card; which he held up to a spot above the door.

It beeped and the door clicked as a lock disengaged and he turned the handle and pushed the door open.

Outside was exactly as you had thought. A tiny guest patio with a single two person sized lounge chair.

You stood out here with your arms hung at your side watching him busy himself with dusting off the cushion of the seat and after he was sure it was clean enough he stood up straight and looked at you, one hand still holding the white card and the other hand motioning toward the seat; instructing you to sit down.

“What’s that?” You asked without moving your hands.

“A key,” he said flatly.

“Why does it open that door?”

“Master key.”

“Baek,” your head dipped and you blinked in his direction. He wasn’t giving you whole answers. Instead of speaking though, he opened his jaw and bit down on his bottom lip, breathing in a deep breath with a deep squint forming on his eyes as he looked off in the distance. After a few seconds he slowly exhaled the breath and he gave up on standing; lowering himself onto the seat.

“My key,” he said softly with his jaw hung upon after the final syllable. He inhaled again, “my hotel.”

You watched his face for signs of truth. You did not think it was possible for him to continue to surprise you with these bombshells again and again, but here he was sitting before you, a genuine member of some royal family you hadn’t even realized existed. It was too much. Just like the mansion and the staff that followed his every order, it was entirely too much.

You closed your eyes up and felt the remnants of wetness drip down your face. From the upset feeling from earlier, apparently.

You wiped the stray wetness with your fingertips and looked back down for any signs of the color black, or maybe evidence that all of your makeup had been ruined by these unsanctioned tears.

When you looked at him again he was watching you; holding his tongue well as you sniffled whatever bits of the emotions away and blotted at your face again with the back of your hand.

“Do I look like a mess?” You asked through the sniffles.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said without even giving your question a chance to settle. He answered without thinking about the questions or considering the answer, he answered on instinct and the rapid fire response brought out the smallest chuckle from deep inside your lungs. He couldn't even see your face. It was dark out here.

“I spent four hours at the salon. Hair and makeup and waxing and plucking — and I’m crying now. It’s all ruined.” Your low-down mood had lifted some with the sudden compliment. You knew he couldn't even really see you and yet, hearing him say it still had such a strong effect on you.

“Nothing is ruined. You’re so fucking beautiful.”

”I just wanted to look pretty,” you added with a slight whine in your voice now. It was the alcohol for sure. It was the fact that you hadn’t seen him all day and when you did, you had been surrounded by people who shouldn’t ever know this true side of you. It was the way he was looking at you with the smallest smile building on his lips, looking like the most gorgeous man you’d ever seen in his suit and tie, with his super shiny shoes on his feet and the hair, my God, the hair.

“You do look very pretty.”

You gripped at the bottom of your sparkly dress, looking down at it and marveling at how even with the limited lighting out here, it managed to grab a hold of a few far off distant lights from the city skyline and shoot them back at you when you moved just right.

“Did you see my dress? Isn’t my dress pretty too?”

You were playing now. He knew it too. It seems that the crisis had passed and getting this alone time with him had been the best medicine for your rotten mood from earlier. After you asked this final question he looked at you with another tiny smile playing on his lips. He didn’t speak right away and just blinked his eyes at you as you swayed just a little so the sparks in the dress could catch his eye the right way.

“I feel like you didn’t really see it,” you said softly mostly to yourself and you lifted a hand to showcase the many beautiful features of it for him.

His smile was growing.

“See,” you pointed with a fingertip to the high slit that showcased your upper thigh; then you spun halfway and lifted an arm, pointing to the spot on the side of your ribs just below your breast where just a bit of side boob was visible.

His jaw parted and you saw the tip of his tongue brush over the surface of his bottom teeth and his eyes rolled with the wider smile that broke through on his face. He looked away, across the empty view and seemed to focus on the other floors of the building next door.

“Oh and this,” you motioned with both hands behind yourself, just above your ass where the small of your back was visible thanks to the low cut of the back of the dress.

“You’re right, I didn’t really get to see it up close.” He was still seated on the chair, possibly for survival. His hands were fisted tightly together in his own lap and he didn’t reach for you or even try and touch the fabric of the dress.

You could feel it though, the way he gave into you; humored you. The way he let you play this little game you were playing. You smiled and took the three steps needed to reach him and he leaned back casually in his seat with a finger lifted to his face as his eyes took you in from up close.

“Look,” you went through the motions again. Starting up high on your thigh, running your fingertip up the entire inside length of the slit, and even making a few strands of jewels sparkle as you did it.

“Mhmm,” he said with his fingers still covering his mouth in deep consideration. His self control even while a little bit drunk was admirable.

“And here,” you spun, showing off the cut-out in the side. His head was nodding and his blinking slowed down a little. He pursed his lips out and he did a good impression of someone who looked thoroughly impressed by your little show.

“I..” he leaned forward just a little, cleared his throat before he continued — “ahh…I don't umm… don’t think I see a bra strap.”

You clapped your hands in excitement.

“Actually!” He flinched.

While on the surface this was an excellent observation from a man who was probably fishing for a sneak peak of your undergarments or lack thereof, but you were wearing something new and you were quite excited about it.

You leaned to the side, and slipped the dress open just a tiny bit. Baekhyun’s eyes widened and he peered his head to see around the side of the fabric.

“I have these little … stickers,” you said it with pride, “for my nipples,” as if you’d accomplished something fantastic tonight with the pasties that covered your nipples so that nobody got a glimpse of anything too noteworthy from this dress tonight.

His eyes were wide and his lips were open. It took him a minute to move. He leaned back again and ran his open palm down the length of his face as his eyes pulled off of you and all of your sparkles and your bare thighs and your nipple stickers and he stared across at the building next door again.

You followed his eyes and the longer you looked the more you focused on each individual window; each space; each tiny world.

You could see the occasional room that was lit up. These were homes. You could clearly see a few of the residents watching tv; sitting at a kitchen table, reading books. You could see details. You could see plenty.

A sudden realization dawned and you gasped lightly.

“Those apartments are all full of people.”

Baekhyun hummed a response and he nodded his head, closing his eyes through the nod. “Yep,” he said. There was a sense of misery you could pick up in the delivery of that single word.

“I can see them.”

”Mhmm,” he hummed. “And they can see us.” He added with a sharp inhale after speaking.

You suddenly understood his standoff-ish reaction to you giving him the grand tour of this dress and your body below it. You understood how he could possibly keep his hands from touching any bit of you.

“We need to go back to the party. We’ve been gone for too long.” You said the words so easily but you didn’t actually move one bit. You stood still, looking down at the man who was fighting his own internal battle; sitting with his hands secured firmly in his own lap and staring blankly ahead of himself into the black of the night.

He blinked but did not respond to you. You kicked your feet just a little, reaching a sparkly high-heeled foot forward you lightly kicked at the soul of his dress shoe.

“I’m leaving now,” you threatened.

Baekhyun closed his eyes.

“You’re just going to let me go, huh?”

You counted inside of your head; completely fine with the idea of blaming this behavior on the alcohol. Even though you knew this was unfair to him. He was your only savior tonight, again and again. The voice of reason in spite of yourself.

You spun on your heels, ready to go and you’d taken the first step away from him when you felt the warmth of his hand wrap securely around your wrist and he pulled you down hard.

You stumbled and you fell and you landed with a yelp and a huff securely on top of his lap, rather clumsy and side-saddle for sure, but definitely within touching and kissing distance.

You turned your face to look at him, not quite expecting the darkness that sat deep inside his eyes to hit you straight in the chest with as much force as it did, but hit you it did. You had to open your lips to breathe through it; you had to reach out a hand to touch his lips lightly and you had to blame the alcohol, you had to. There was no other excuse you could cling to; no other reason for your leaning in and capturing his lips in between your own and touching his cheek with your wandering hands. You had no excuses you could find for why you shifted your weight on top of his lap and straddled his thighs, throwing your head back when his lips moved to bite down hard on the bare skin of your neck and lower.

He moved lower. His mouth sucked and bit and he pushed fabric aside to pull lightly at those damn stickers that covered your nipples with his teeth. You felt the sting as the glue pulled at your skin. They didn't budge much. You were suddenly even more impressed by them.

“Not my stickers,” you whispered “I only have the two,” and you wanted to blame the alcohol for the snort of laughter that escaped your chest to hear yourself utter such an absurd thing in the middle of this kind of a moment but the stifled shaking giggles you heard from the man who sat below you only made your own laughter that much worse.

”Not my precious stickers,” he whispered through the giggles that were barely audible through the fabric he was buried beneath.

When he came up for air the smile you saw on his face was breathtakingly real and when you leaned down to kiss him again you bumped against his teeth when you were taken by the giggles again, mid-kiss.

It took a while for you to recover and after the laughter finally settled you leaned down for one more sweet kiss on his pretty lips.

“I feel like I can make it back to the party now,” you said. His wide smile slowly but completely flattened out in front of your eyes. You pushed up against him, leaving behind the full effect you’d had on him right there for him to come to terms with and he stared at you with a look of utter shock.

“We can’t do that here, Baek,” you pointed toward the rows of homes across the way and his wide eyes looked where you pointed without seeing anything at all.

“You—,” he began, a full tone of attitude on his voice that he quickly interrupted by cutting off his own words.

“You.” He repeated again. You could see it happening. Dreams being crushed. Egos being put to bed. Justice not being served and revenge being planned. He shook his head and threw himself back into that chair with a force and crossed his arms squarely over his chest.

You were already at the door, pulling it open after straightening your dress back out and smoothing your hair.

“I’m getting those stickers later!” He shouted behind your back and you laughed once and threw your hand up into the air before the door closed shut behind you.

[to be continued]

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Your perspective on the other side of that patio door was a haze. You were drunker than you thought. Your quick stop at the empty bathroom just inside of that patio didn’t help sharpen your mind much.

The journey back to the grand ballroom, back to the party, had an odd buzz of excited whispering from groups of guests that you passed. Everywhere and all around you heads were leaned in close as they all giggled and whispered about some event that had transpired; some shocking party scandal. As you drew closer to your particular group of people you began to notice an occasional pair of eyes glance in your direction and just as quickly those eyes would look away.

The buzzing through your veins seemed once fully attributed to the alcohol suddenly felt just a little less warming and more chilling.

They were all very thrilled with whatever the news was. Highly amused in a sort of rubbernecker kind of way. Whatever had happened had no like effect on their lives. Whatever had happened would only ruin someone else’s life or worse, their career. You tried to make longer eye contact. You tried to gague what sort of a scandal it was this time. All the while wondering if you had done enough in your life to be on God’s good graces. If the $25 paycheck deduction for the local animal shelter had bought you enough good karma to save you this time.

With their whispered giggles and their snickering body shaking secrets group after group you passed seemed to be incredibly worked up as the gossip seemed to be spreading through the hotel like wildfire.

That chill in your veins had spread and brought a sinking feeling inside of your stomach. You felt made just a little queasy by it.

What if someone saw.

What if a right place right time eye witness saw you and Baekhyun out there on that patio just now.

What if a party guest out on a smoke break just happened to be walking back up the sidewalk at the exact right time and happened to look up at the exact right time and happened to recognize your super sparkly dress or his blue satin suit and what if, what if, what if someone in one of the apartment homes directly across from patio was putting their child to bed after a bedtime story and as they were drawing the curtains to shut out the nighttime lights they happened to catch the both of you in full on, middle school textbook visual description of heavy petting, just so happened to know a guest at this very party who just so happened to have seen you both walk out there toward that patio and what if, what if, what if a phone call was made or a picture was sent and they put it together that you and Baekhyun had been sleeping together all this time; even and especially when you were his direct supervisor and in charge of things like his schedule and his bonuses and his promotions and his performance review oh my god his performance review the one you got fucked on top of and ruined and then directed him, as his supervisor to forge just as you had directed him as his supervisor to engage in sexual intercourse on company property on company time you were at least guilty of time theft and extortion and sexual harassment and fraud. Charges like that, even with the best lawyers, even if you beat the charges, your reputation would be ruined and you could face thousands upon thousands of fines and lawsuits and maybe even go to jail. Could you survive prison?

You weren’t the type to brag. This was a reality of your situation. But fucking hell, you were too pretty for prison.

Phones were buzzing on tables; lighting up around the darkened space like twinkling Christmas lights and you suddenly remembered you had one of those too and you pulled it out of the clutch bag you miraculously still had with you.

Your screen was lit up with notifications. Several of your work group chats had several unread messages and the messages were still coming in.

Your eyes scanned the incoming words desperate to find the subject of all of this mess.

‘No way!’

‘Omg I can’t believe it.’

‘That’s fucking crazy!’

You’d come into this too late. You quickly unlocked your phone and began scrolling up through the apparently bombshell that began all of this commotion and after several seconds of scrolling you came across the beginning.

‘!!!!!’

It started with an appropriate commotion and the next message instantly had you exhale a long sigh from deep within your lungs that seemed to take ages for all off the air to fully exit your body.

‘Chet just got dragged out by security and he’s being arrested for peeping in the ladies bathroom. Someone said he was laying on the floor taking pictures up skirts! What a fucking creep!!’

The relief felt like a light switch was flipped; with the instantaneous flood through your chest.

As quickly as the relief came a different worry. Despite the answer to your question being answered you still scrolled line by line through the flood of messages as your team members and other people in the agency discussed the news with ravenous delight. Word after word your eyes searched for his name. You searched for any possible connected to your name even if you had your doubts that these people would suddenly forget that you were also in this group chat if they wanted it start badmouthing you and spreading rumors about the incidentals behind why Chet happened to be in that hallway outside of the ladies room in the first place and who it was that might have been spotted having that big drunken loser onto the floor of that ladies room; surely they wouldn’t be doing that sort of gossiping in this group chat.

You were a manager but you hadn’t always been one. You knew for a fact that the lower tier employees had their own group chats and even amongst themselves they most certainly had broken off into even smaller chats where all of the juiciest bits of gossip were spread around.

You’d reached the end of the messages and the occasional buzz of your phone and signaled the arrival of something else was just a mirror of the same sort of sentiment.

‘He always gave me a bad feeling.’

‘Glad I never went on that date with him.’

‘I can’t believe this.’

‘He should be fired. Those woman would have to work with him again.’

This wouldn’t work. There was one person who you would ask to make sure your name and Baekhyun’s name hadn’t been connected to this in any way.

You found Sandi laughing and chatting near the appetizers and small bites tables.

Oh …food. You’d forgotten about food. Your drunken head swam and your stomach growled the moment you saw it and you slinked up silently right beside Sandi with your own little plate ready to grab something to eat.

“Sandi,” you whispered harshly beside her and she jumped and placed a palm over her chest, “I need to talk to you.”

“Jesus—” She groaned with her eyes closed, “someone should put a bell on you.” She mumbled under her breath.

You popped something that looked to be potato based into your mouth and chewed, swallowing quickly so you could drill her for what she might know.

You’d filled up your little plate and grabbed her by the elbow, ignoring the weird yelp she made when you pulled her behind you to some quiet corner where you could hear everything she said while also looking deep into her eyes for signs that she was leaving anything out.

“What happened with Chet?” You looked into her face as you said it and she looked back at you with the slightest pause in her words and mannerism before she actually started talking. When she did move it was to narrow her eyes and she looked over your face and then down over the length of you once before her eyes were back looking in yours.

“Maybe I need to ask you what happened with Chet.”

You looked down at your plate and popped another potato thing into your mouth, quickly grabbing another one because goddamn these were delicious, and you shrugged your face every so slightly as you chewed. You let your eyes land inside hers for a few seconds but then looked away again. You weren’t sure exactly why this woman was able to read you so well but you were quickly melting before her weirdly knowing gaze.

”What happened with Chet?” She said again in a quieter whisper and you sighed in genuine defeat knowing that this was going to take some explaining. She was going to need the whole story from the over the top flirtatious hugs as a greeting that he always insisted on, to the overheard conversation of Chet’s plans to basically conquer you for the sake of his ego and nothing else, as well as the way he seemed to feel that he was somehow owed something from you when you’d promised nothing and never had even given him anything more than professional politeness.

You had found a quiet place for this and had each grabbed fresh drinks and once you got talking you could feel her growing more and more irritated by that man’s terrible behavior. You heard the quiet gasps of surprise and her genuine laughter when you recounted the mop-water incident. You did your best to gloss over the entangled involvement of your boyfriend in this situation; but there was honestly no way around it when you got to the events of this evening that led up to Chet being outright arrested for sexually deviant behavior and the weird guilty feeling that bubbled up inside of your stomach when you thought that maybe he might be punished for something he didn’t even really do; not really.

Yes he’d grabbed you by the wrist and your wrist was still sore right now from it. You didn't know what his plans were with you. You didn't know if the man was just stupid or if he was actually dangerous but you definitely didn’t feel good about him being blamed for something he hadn’t actually done.

Sandi was giggling. You were feeling conflicted and she was too overcome with laughter to be of any actual help. Drunk Sandi was fun for scheming and gossiping, but you were looking for actual help here. When she finally got her giggles under control enough to talk, she did and with her words came the familiar relief you often felt when you shared any sorts of your worries with this woman.

“He wasn’t arrested. He was escorted out by hotel security, yeah, but I never saw any police. I think they just all got excited, you know how rumors are.”

“And you didn’t hear my name or,” you lowered your voice significantly and leaned in closer to her, “Baekhyun’s name connected in any way?”

She was giggling again, leaning closer as she whispered just as you had, “No, I didn’t hear his name, or your name, but Ma’am,” she emphasized the title with an over the top seriousness in her voice, “the way he looks at you…when he’s dancing with you…”

Her eyes had gone wide as her words trailed off and her mouth hung open briefly before she lifted a hand to fan her face dramatically. You had to cover your own face as the snort of giggles broke free from your chest.

“I don't know how anyone would survive that. You are strong. And I’ve never felt more single and more alone than I did watching you two dance — ohhh I’m getting mad just thinking about it.” She stood up with her empty glass and reached out her other hand for you to grab so you could come with her, “Come on, we need another drink.”

You grabbed her hand and quickly pulled her close to you so you could walk arm in arm with all of your silly drunken secrets and shared giggles. Both of your steps were a bit unsteady but together you at least had someone to lean on.

“You know you really are the most beautiful woman here tonight,” you whispered into her ear and she snorted out loud.

“Shut up. I look like a potato. Did you really have to go all out like this? Can’t you consider the rest of us?”

“If you are a potato then you are my loveliest sweet potato,” you leaned a head on her shoulder and she snorted and playfully pushed your head off. The rejection, even if playful, it only made you grip her arm tighter and lay your head on her shoulder more forcefully.

“No, my sweet potato!”

“He better appreciate how lucky he is.” She remarked seriously with a severe look down in your direction and you looked up at her curiously and her serious expression softened and grew into a reticent grin. “I’ll kill him if he hurts you.”

Again and again, Sandi was on your side. Again and again she was such a good friend you even played with the idea that maybe this wonderful woman who you always thought of so fondly might very well be your best friend.

“Sweet Potato,” you called up to her loud enough so that you were sure she heard you call her. She didn’t really respond other than a Quick Look. You gave her a little shake, “Sweet Potato Sandi,” you called again and she laughed and said a very drawn out and extremely informal, “whaaaat?”

“Will you be my Maid of Honor?”

Your question stopped her forward steps and she turned with surprised eyes to look at you. You straightened your spine and looked her right in the face with confidence and sincerity and after a few moments her shoulders sagged and she lifted her eyebrows with a tiny shrug on her face.

“Me?”

You nodded in earnest.

“Okay,” she said quietly with the slightest pink growing across her cheeks and the tiniest smile that fought to break free on her lips.

Eventually though, the smile grew wider and she giggled out an excited squeal that you quickly mirrored with a quick little jump up and down while holding hands in delight.

“I can’t believe you’re getting married!” She whispered through the excitement.

“I can’t believe I’m getting married!” You said just a little too loudly. She quickly shushed you and laughed noisily to hide what you had just said.

“Who’s getting married?” A familiar voice called out over the loud music from the dance floor. Marci had overheard and she was smiling wide with glassy eyes and a curious yet very drunk slur deep within her voice.”

“My sister—”

“My sister,” both you and Sandi said at the exact same time and Marci’s eyes bounced from your eyes to Sandi’s eyes and back to your eyes before her smile sagged and she looked up into the space above her head as she tried to make sense of what she was being told.

“Her sister,” she said and “Her sister,” you said in unison and you had to cover your mouth with your hand to keep from spitting out in laughter. Marci just blinked at you both with a sort of far away and very, very deep look of genuine and hopeless confusion.

“Whose sister?” She finally said and you leaned forward shouting over the music with a wide smile and you nodded your head excitedly, “yes!” You declared, purposefully deceitful and confusing.

You would be sure to add it to your list of many sins.

“Let’s dance!” You shouted and you and Sandi grabbed her hand and pulled the poor girl deep within the chaos of the heat and bodies of people dancing to the thumping beat of the dance song.

Time was a blur of songs and laughter. Occasionally, someone’s hands and someone else’s body bumped up against you.

You had somewhere deep inside of you, a quietly nagging voice that did its absolute best to remind you of things. Proper things. Managerial things like respect and your position as a person to admire and trust amongst these people. Sandi aside, most if these people had to take your instructions at face value and answer your questions, and at times respond to your professional demands. You knew deep down that you could not sever that image of yourself.

And you thought you did pretty well. You laughed with them and danced with them and shared in the joy of the evening while still keeping whatever parts of your mind you needed to keep intact for the sake of the dynamics of the team.

You experienced a few moments of control. You had a handle on it for a couple of songs worth of time; you began to trick yourself into thinking you could handle anything, even while drunk.

But when you saw Baekhyun, a switch was flipped.

He was with some friends; the same ones as before. A group of rowdy young men you hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet but he seemed quite close with them.

You saw them laughing together, exchanging in some sort of noisy banter; it felt quite different from the playful way he acted with you; this behavior seemed much more daring, much more primal. If you had to compare it with something you’d aliken it to a group of almost feral, unsupervised boys left to their own devices on a playground together. Had they been younger, you would not have been surprised at all to see blood drawn.

One such ‘game,’ (and you hesitated to use such a word as there were discernible no rules) involved messing with some party favor on the table in a way that was never intended to be used. The result was one unsuspecting member of the group, who hadn’t been paying enough attention to his friends given the amount of danger he should have felt by sitting beside them, this one poor man was smacked right in the back of the head. At least it didn’t seem too painful of a prop to turn into a weapon. He wasn’t the original target but had been smacked quite dramatically nonetheless for the crime of sitting too close to your sweet boyfriend who had actually been aiming for another person.

The result was the same. Someone was hit. Everyone erupted in raucous laughter and a swift punishment was enacted on the offender.

You watched as they all grabbed your boyfriend by the collar, bent him over at the waist and unleashed a folly of smacks upon his back.

The entire thing was loud and violent. Baekhyun’s yells could be heard over the music and he came back up pink in the face and laughing noisily ready for whatever revenge the rules of this game allowed.

There was alcohol involved too. Apparently there was some step in the game that involved shots of alcohol. You couldn’t make sense of any of it.

You knew you were staring but you felt enraptured by his behavior.

Who was this man?

Where did your boyfriend go?

Was this really the same tender man who held you in his arms and night and declared his never ending love and adoration for you?

He was noisy and crass and annoying and he delighted in the ridiculousness and stupidity of this whole thing.

You weren’t sure which one of them noticed you first. But there was a sudden and dramatic shift in the atmosphere that came over the entire group and it manifested as a literal wave of change that surged from person to person starting from someone in the far right edge.

There was straightening of suit jackets and smoothing of hairstyles that had been messed by the ruckus. There was frantic tapping and wide eyes that motioned in your direction followed immediately by whichever onlooker quickly looking toward Baekhyun. Hands were on him, someone was motioning in your direction and their faces had a look of urgency.

They were calling his attention to you because you were looking at him and this in itself was significant to this group of men.

You wondered what they knew about you and about Baekhyun. What all he had told them and was any of it was enough to be used against you in a court of law.

Baekhyun’s eyes found yours and you had already begun to make your way off the dance floor to the table where you’d kept your drink and your bag along with the other girls’ things and you watched the atmosphere of Baekhyun’s group take on a much more secretive vibe.

They were, every single one of them, absolutely terrible spies.

There was an intense whispering happening. It all felt very dramatic. There was someone slapping Baekhyun quite hard on the arm and laughing as if whatever situation he had been placed in was too funny for non-violent enjoyment and Baekhyun turned to the slapping man, quietly bickered back and forth in an annoyed and scolding manner.

Your table was very close to them all and you’d reached for your drink to take a sip when out of the corner of your eye you saw a genuine stumble as a human man surged in your direction.

Someone had pushed him.

They all turned to look away from you the moment you curiously looked at them and Baekhyun completed the two final steps that it took for him to be standing right beside you.

“So…” he said under his breath. He was whispering to you and his cheeks were as pink as his eyes were glassy. Baekhyun cleared his throat and inhaled again, keeping his voice very low so you were the only one who could hear him. “My friends are pressuring me to ask you to dance and it would make their fucking nights if you said yes.”

You were sipping on a beer and you peered your head around his shoulder, catching at least four faces seconds before they abruptly turned away.

You looked back into his face with genuine amusement and you quickly licked your lips and swallowed away how obviously entertained you were by this.

Baekhyun watched your face and a single eyebrow lifted over his eye before he inhaled to whisper again. “You see, they all think I have a crush on you,” he added.

You recognized the upper hand you had in this situation. Should you give them all what they wanted? A bunch of silly men who wanted nothing more than to encourage and possibly humiliate their friend with his little crush.

“Do you not have a crush on me?”

Baekhyun leaned then, allowing his whispered answer to heat the skin of your cheeks with every word that puffed from of his lips.

“

Baby

, I do not have a

crush

.” He said the word with a deep and significant drawn oh emphasis on the last word. Then, from parted lips came the air from deep within his lungs that fanned over your face and smelled like the usual sweet scent of him paired with an obvious scent of all of that alcohol that surfed through his bloodstream.

“I am in love with you,” he urged with his focus locked tightly with yours.

His eyes held onto yours until he leaned in close enough for the darkness in his whisper to coat the back of your neck with goosebumps.

“Dangerously,” he growled and when he pulled his face back and his eyelids sank down hard on the after effects of that one word that sounded more like a warning than a term of endearment.

You set the beer back down on the table and reached a hand out to lightly touch his forearm; letting your hand trail slowly down the length of his sleeve until you reached his fingers. From the table of men you heard light gasps

“Let’s make your friends happy then.”

The moment your hand made contact with his and you took that first step toward the dance floor you heard a sound like a commotion coming from the group of men. It was half a cheer and half a groan and you turned back to see several of them taking shots of alcohol and wincing as it went down.

You looked back at Baekhyun in surprise but your boyfriend's face was the absolute picture of innocence.

“Even this is part of the drinking game?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He smiled sweetly but his bottom lip twitched like it does when he’s being just a little less than honest.

The smallest laugh broke free from your chest. You didn’t want to encourage this, but dammit he was cute when he was acting up.

If either of you had been less intoxicated you might have worked out the timing of this better.

You hadn’t even noticed that the upbeat pop song was about to end until you’d pulled him well onto the dance floor and turned around to face him ready for some manager/ex-secretary appropriate moderately close enough to touch maybe hands and forearms and the occasional only when absolutely necessary waist or chaste hand on a shoulder dancing, when the final happy and peppy beats of the song ended and the lights in the room went surprisingly dim as the notes of a new song began.

If you’d been in your right mind you’d have waited before agreeing to dance with him until you’d cleared the song.

If you’d been in your right mind you might not have gotten genuinely excited once you realized that this particular song; this sexy sultry deep r&b beat and with sexier lyrics; this was a song that you, in fact, had danced to before.

You had, in fact, learned a set of moves to this song, a set of rather risqué and rather provocative moves that you’d learned as part of a group dance fitness class at your local gym, appropriately titled

Bad Bitches Dance Fitness

.

You had your doubts back when you clicked to sign up for the class. But the instructor had a way of bringing the bad bitch out of you. When the first notes of this song started and you set your face for this, you made sure you looked right into his eyes as you struck the first sexy pose that opened the dance, you learned that not only was the bad bitch still inside of you; but apparently all she needed was some alcohol to come out.

Baekhyun was surprised.

You could see it in his face. His eyes widened and his lips parted as his eyes followed your sexy little prance in a full circle around him and when you reached a fingertip to touch his lips, dragging it down slowly down his chin over his chest, opening your hand to scrape your fingernails straight down the length of him it took him an honest to god moment to recover and react.

You stopped at his belt, thank God — not through any good sense on your own part, but the next move of the dance required you to bend at the hips, slip a bare thigh out with a pointed toe and when you flipped your hair up and let your body roll all the way back up, it was against his warmth as you did it. It was punctuated by the sharp exhale you heard come out from his lungs and the desperate darkness you saw deep in his eyes. The dance went on. It was risky as all hell with plenty of touching and even more flaunting certain parts of your body for the man.

It was dark enough now that not every single bit of this could be seen from all parts of this grand ballroom. The dark lighting and occasional strobing lights gave the illusion of some privacy. His table of friends was close enough though. From somewhere in the direction of their table, you could make out the hoots and hollers from the group of young men who seemed to be very excited to have been the catalyst for this kind of situation.

Baekhyun kept up with you. Despite the fact that he did not know the dance; he was enough of a musician with an obvious background in dance as well to know what might come next. He knew how to anticipate your next move and he moved his body with yours, despite the occasional hard clench you saw in his jaw and sharp gasp for air he took when you did something particularly bad.

You lived for those moments. The bits where he was overcome and so close losing his control.

You didn't have to let your hands travel so slowly over him. You didn't have to grab ahold of your own breasts the way you had done and make an expression that very likely reminded him of fucking you. These bits were never covered in the class; but you had very much lost control over yourself to the alcohol.

Every one of his reactions made you smile. It was a satisfied, truly naughty smile and you looked into his eyes, laying another hand just over his chest as you leaned in close to his face. Your eyes slid from his eyes down to his lips and you leaned in so close. It was dangerous. You swore you could feel the breaths from his mouth against your own. You felt the body heat coming from his smooth skin. You could taste the sweetness of the alcohol on his labored breaths.

You turned your head at the last moment. It was all part of the dance. This was just part of the tease. If you had a chair to sit him down in, you might even sit on his lap, straddling his thighs, letting him feel the way your hips would roll into him to the beat of the music.

But Baekhyun didn’t know the dance. You gasped when your backward step was interrupted by his strong arm wrapped tightly around your waist. He pulled you back into him roughly and your legs parted enough for his firm thigh to slip fully in between your thighs. You felt the dress resist on one side but on the other, that damn slit gave you permission; encouraged you even, practically begged you to straddle his thigh and grind your hips against him. You rubbed against the heat between his legs and you felt him there. Hot and hard and so very teased by you — all night long — nearly at a limit. The temptation was stronger than anything you’d felt before. You wanted to feel that friction pressing into your skin. You wanted his stuttered moans pushed deep inside your ears when you ran the palm of your hand over the rigid shaft you felt below the suit fabric.

A pair of eyes to your left caught your attention. Someone had genuine curiosity written all over their face and someone else’s own dance was interrupted as their eyes wandered over to this strange pair of dancers who really ought not be so close to each other right now, not like this, not in public, not when they shared a strictly professional relationship that never ever crossed any lines. Sure it was quite dark and alcohol was likely the culprit but still…

You needed some distance. He was so warm and he felt so good and his hand around your waist had traveled, slipping his hot hand down your ass and over to grip roughly into the flesh of your bare thigh. You’d had enough sex with this man to know what sorts of touches were a prelude to something more. A touch like this, with as hard as he felt between his legs, this was him drunk and him much too affected by your teasing. This was him having had enough of this. This was him wanting to fuck you.

You felt his hot breath exhale slowly over your ear. There was a throaty moan at the end of it, “

f-fuck, baby,”

he whined.

This had to stop. You needed to get out of his arms. You took a step back, placing a firm hand against his abdomen, you pushed yourself back hard and you stepped out from between his legs; disguising the movement with another body roll thanks to the perfectly timed out-tro it fit perfectly with your exit.

You had to bite down on your lip and control your breaths. It felt like they were pushing and pulling at your lungs with too much force and Baekhyun’s eyes snapped quickly into yours with that same darkness deep within his blown out pupils.

Your focus was wandering. It had been too much. It had been too obvious. Anyone who had even half paid attention would be able to tell that not only were the two of you already quite deeply in love with each other but the chemistry you felt between him and yourself on this dancefloor alone surely would have told them all that the sex had to be mind blowing.

Your eyes caught movement at your table; of course you’d had plenty of witnesses there. Beside your table stood a group of silently staring men with mouths gaping too surprised to give any sort of reaction and back at your table, you watched sweet Sandi lift a hand to her mouth for a noisy wolf whistle and she started cheering and clapping. The girls beside her cautiously lifted their hands to clap and laugh and the encouragement had a sheepish smile pulling up to your lips and you gave the group the smallest little drunken courtesy. Leaning into their compliments as if you had intended to put on such a show with that dance all along.

Beside you, Baekhyun had a hand on his hip and had just ran a palm over the length of his face, no doubt doing his best job of fixing whatever expression he might have; whatever secrets he might accidentally be showing that should not be shown.

His lips pulled into a smile when you smiled at him and without any other moves to make that could signify to all of your onlookers that the make believe, pretend, it was all for show, movie scene was over now, you lifted a hand in his direction and held it up for a high five. A high five was just the move to get that point across. People that slept together regularly didn’t give each other high fives. This was as platonic a move as you could think of. You were sure he would tease you about this for weeks.

“Great dance!” You said through false brightness loud enough for all of the people waiting for you at your table to hear.

He looked at your hand and then back down at your face and back up at your hand again before he lifted his own hand to give you the weakest, most pathetic excuse for a high five that you've ever received from anyone. His face had the
uncomfortable kind of wince that a teenager might sport after being embarrassed in front of their friends by a supremely uncool parent.

Back at the tables you both parted ways and in between Marci’s questions, drilling you about where you learned to dance like that, your ears caught the occasional low guffaws, snickers of laughter and teasing quips bellowing out from the group of men that accosted your boyfriend.

“Man…a high five.”

“That’s rough, buddy.”

There were side conversations and occasional condolences. Some of the men had more hope that others and you were pretty sure they didn’t realize just how loud they were all talking.

“Don’t give up hope, dude.”

“You see the way she dances tho?”

“She a baddie.”

“Way outta his league.”

“If a girl like that gave me a high five I’d just go home and never come out again.”

“Shhh — he’ll hear you.”

You reached for your clutch and pulled out your cell phone; keyed out a short text message and hit send as you pushed yourself up from your seat at your table and let the girls you were going to take a quick bathroom break.

Your message sat unread for long enough for you to make it clear across the dance floor toward the hallway with the bathrooms. You may have imagined it but you could practically feel the change the moment he had read it. You could feel the heat of his eyes watching as you walked away from him. When you rounded a corner you turned back and found his eyes easily as if you’d always known his focus would be only on you.

‘Bathroom by our patio has a lock’

You were walking through the lounge areas past the smaller groups of party goers who congregated there; seeking a little more peace and quiet for some whispered and intimate late night conversations.

Your feet carried you easily through the spaces and with each step as your heels hit the tile floor and echoed all around you it felt like the bang bang bang of a hammer as your hips swayed and you walked with the confidence of the kind of baddie who might propose a forbidden rendezvous such as this.

It was the alcohol. It was the dance. It was the way he smelled and the warmth of his breath as he moaned into your ear. It was the taste of the alcohol on his sweet breath as you inhaled against his face. It felt forbidden, doing something like that with the eyes of so many people on you both. It was the grip of his fingertips as he held onto your thigh and pulled you hard against his dick.

There was no one around. You’d journeyed through several spaces that were completely empty by the time you reached this bathroom door. You pushed the door open and stepped inside rewarded with the silence you knew you’d find in here.

This was a big party but this hotel was so massive the odds of any lost guests finding their way to this end of the building were astronomically small.

The inside of this bathroom had a cozy yet still tasteful feeling. You could tell it was a luxury hotel by the heated hand towels neatly rolled on the surface of the immaculately clean countertop and the floor to ceiling wooden doors that closed off the bathroom stalls. You walked by the cushioned bench and full length mirrors to stand in front of the sinks.

Your reflection looked back at you and you scrutinized the expression you saw in your own eyes. You hardly recognized yourself. Your skin was just a little bit damp looking from the dancing and you were flushed all over. The flush seemed to be more than just from the alcohol, more than just from the dancing and the exertion. It took a couple of deep breaths through your parted lips and a couple of blinks and only then did your mind clear enough for you to actually see yourself clearly. So this is what you looked like to him. So this was the look in your eyes when you wanted him badly enough to seek out a place of privacy even if that place was a bathroom of all places.

You had to inhale a deep breath and look away from the mirror. You felt too crazed for this level of self discovery. You could feel the desperation bubbling up to your surface, your own once carefully curated resolve made so flimsy and weak by a little alcohol … and by him. The light was bright but not harsh and you leaned a hip against the marble countertop as you watched the door for signs of movement.

Baekhyun’s arrival at that bathroom door came with a sound first. Two soft knocks against the wood made with a single knuckle.

You leaned forward and pulled the door handle open and he stumbled a bit until he was leaning against the open doorway with his eyes cast downward, not yet looking at you and definitely not coming inside with nearly the urgency that you would have expected of him right now.

You reached a hand out and grabbed ahold of his. He gave you his hand without protest and when you pulled you had his eyes looking up into yours as he took two steps inside where you urged until he was standing fully inside this silent space in front of you. The door closed behind him.

His brown eyes were on you and his lips were parted as he breathed through those parted lips and after a few moments of watching your face in silence he closed up his mouth and his head sagged back just a little bit.

Having him here in front of you did something to the anxious energy you’d been feeling before he came in. He wasn’t touching you at all except with his eyes but just looking at his beautiful face pulled a smile to your lips and you backed against that countertop again and leaned against it as you simply let the warm feeling take over your chest as the smile grew.

His expression was changing. His face had looked quite collected and controlled when he came in here but the longer he looked at you the more you saw. His focus refused to stay up in your eyes as his had dropped slowly over the length of your body.

“You —” he breathed out with his eyes down on your bare thighs, “you might actually kill me tonight.” He pulled his eyelids up and narrowed his focus on your face as he spoke.

“You know exactly what you’ve been doing to me. Looking like this — in this fucking dress. Dancing like that. Teasing me and then leaving me. Making me — making me desperate.” His hands flew around with every other sentence, pointing and gesturing all over as he ranted.

You felt an unparalleled satisfaction from hearing his many complaints about you from tonight. You knew you were acting up. You knew you had been teasing him and then leaving him wrecked and part of you had been so very weak to him that you simply could not keep yourself under control around him, not when you had been drinking so much. Your only link to reality had been those moments
when faced with the very real possibility of exposing your entire relationship to everyone in here that you retreated from him. Running away, giggling the entire time for just how very naughty you were being.

You couldn't stop.

It was wrong of you.

But it was fun. He was fun to tease and the long list of grievances he was airing right now only pulled your lips into a wider smile that you tried your absolute best to bite down on to blank away. It didn’t work, of course. He saw.

“And you’re smiling,” he said with a lift of his eyebrows and his lips pulling into a smile that didn’t have any humor behind it. He closed his eyes as he lifted a hand to rub over the length of his face.

The same naughtiness that you felt pulling at your strings and making you do these terrible, awful, inappropriately teasing things to him all night long pushed you to take a step forward, into his space.

You reached a hand out and dragged your fingers down the front of his shirt. You could feel the warmth of his chest below the fabric. You moved your hand lightly down the length of him dragging fingers along the edge of his necktie, reaching the very end of it you felt the folded edge of the fabric; that strip of unassuming fabric that moved with his breathing. With your fingers at the bottom you only lightly touched the very tip of his tie, the arrow that pointed downward, that part that laid just above his belt. You touched this spot again and again, letting your aim grow sloppy; letting your wandering hand graze lightly below the metal buckle of his belt and all of the warmth and heat you felt there.

“I’m going to get my hands on you,” his lips pursed and he blew out a stuttered breath that shook his bottom lip on the exit and he bit down on his lip briefly as his eyes followed your moving finger. His lips flew open and his tongue darted out to dampen the dryness on his bottom lip before he inhaled a sharp breath to continue his threat, “and there won’t be any stopping me. There will be no

party

we have to get back to. No songs that just ended.”

“No…

fucking

… high fives.” He exhaled through the curse word and you took a step into him.

You hooked his belt buckle with your index finger and gave the smallest tug, pulling your bottom lip into the smallest little pout you could manage as you looked down. You should probably pretend to be at least a little bit sorry. It took you a few moments to really sink that pout in deep and it managed to stay put when you looked back up into his face.

Baekhyun scoffed and he shook his head in disbelief. He lifted a hand up your face, bouncing the tip of his index finger lightly twice over the softness of your bottom lip.

“What are you doing? What is that?” His brows were furrowed and his teeth bared, “are you — are you pouting right now? Do you have something to pout about? Something like, oh, I don’t know, a three hour boner, perhaps?”

Your silly attempt at repentance vanished and you pulled your chin inward with the smallest itty bitty eye roll escaping against your will and through the doubts you clearly displayed on your face you mumbled under your breath, “I don't think — it was

that

long—”

Baekhyun's face flattened. His eyelids and his eyebrows settled into a completely serious expression and you could still feel the doubts and disbelief bouncing around inside of your head, “I mean…three hours—”

Baekhyun’s sudden movement cut off whatever nonsense you were speaking and he grabbed ahold of your right hand, pulled it forward palm open and he planted your hand squarely on top of his, very obviously, fully erect dick. The interruption and presentation of evidence pulled your jaw open as you held him in the palm of your hand and slowly moved upward along the shape of him.

“Did anyone see you come in here after me?” Your whispered question had pulled his eyes open. They had drifted closed with you touching him like this. As it was now, you hadn’t located his tip as he seems to have tucked himself somewhere behind his belt in attempt to just live with his new reality and what you had done to him.

“No idea,” he breathed through short gasps.

Your hand had reached as high as you could move without removing his belt and slowly, with firmer pressure, you moved your hand back down. You felt the push he gave with his hips into your touch.

“Are you mad at me?” You asked it with much of that same teasing smile on your voice and he shook his head quickly back and forth as his left hand flew up to lean against the bathroom door. After a few seconds you heard an audible click when he locked it.

You gasped in surprise when he moved and reached for you, wrapping his arms around your waist and easily lifting you up to sit on the marble countertop. The stone was freezing beneath your bare thighs and your skirt moved up high enough for a peek of your panties to show. It didn’t matter, he pushed his hips between your parted legs with the same roughness as he handled you. He pulled you into him with strong arms and fingertips that dug into your ass and every push, every bit of friction had your legs parting more; had you needing more than what was possible through the layers of clothing that separated your bodies.

“No,” he leaned in close to your face and spoke in a dark whisper, “but I might want to disrespect you a little while I fuck you.”

You didn’t have any time to form a response because his open mouth covered your own. He kissed you roughly and deeply. His mouth devoured yours hungrily and all you could do was gasp for air when he pulled back, sucking your bottom lip deep inside with the pull of his mouth until he let up enough only for his teeth to bite down. You tasted alcohol on his tongue and on his breath and you imagined you tasted the same.

You felt the culmination of tonight’s frustrations in his kiss. You felt consumed and had by him and when the hollow of his mouth released its hold on, you gasped out loud to feel his lips at your neck seconds before those same parted lips hovered just over the skin right above your jugular. He seemed to play with you there, his lips popping light kisses; his tongue darting out to taste the saltiness of your skin and only when you’d let yourself drift into this tenderness, only when you’d relaxed your shoulders and leaned into him as he kissed and tasted your skin, only then did he do it. Without warning; with the next soft and contented moan that left your lips his muscles tensed around you and his fingertips dug in hard again. At the same time, he pushed his face into your neck, right on the same spot he had been tasting, he suddenly bit down. His hard wet teeth were sinking in deep and he was biting down very hard. He made your breath catch in your throat. Your gasp was a half whine, half whimper interrupted by the shock of the pain you felt when he did it. He made your brain feel fuzzy and dizzy. Maybe it was the surprise, or the alcohol or maybe you hadn’t had enough of a chance to catch your breath.

You would have a mark — red or even the blue color of blood vessels burst just below the surface of your skin. You would touch lightly at this spot and feel a slight tinge from this.

Oh, he was everywhere.

You were quickly overwhelmed.

You could feel your heart racing inside of your chest and that overwhelming feeling felt like it might just burst through your skin. Every touch felt like more than the previous. He was constricting and tightening and he was lifting and pulling and pushing and the room spun; it spun in the confines of this tiny bathroom it spun and it seemed to come to some sort of a comeuppance. He was standing and lifting, his arms clung so tightly around your waist you lost the air inside of your lungs and when you opened your eyes he had found the padded bench and perched you right on top of his lap. You had somehow lost the panties.

“I want to fuck you so badly,” his breathing was rapid and heavy and his face was buried somewhere in your chest. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“You have to take your pants off first.” Your breath caught when you felt his mouth open up over your nipple; right on top of the sticker that covered it and he pulled it into his mouth, sucking, soaking it with his spit and biting with his teeth.

“You’ve got me so fucked. I’m going to cum the second I get inside of you.”

He won. His efforts won over the stupid sticker and you felt the sting of the sticky glue pull hard against your skin; against the most sensitive spots. “I don’t want that. I’m not ready for this to be over.”

You cried out from the pain as he ripped it off with his teeth in a single motion. “You feel so good. You taste so good. You’re so fucking hot.”

As quickly as the sticker was gone and the sting radiated through your nerve endings his mouth was there, pulling your breast into his hot mouth, sucking and biting. Pulling away and leaving you soaked.

You moved your hips over his lap. The firmness lined up perfectly with you; everything about Baekhyun always fit you perfectly. You could feel that desperate friction bumping against your clit with each pass. You chased that feeling, grinding your hips over him again and again, pressing your center atop his stiffness and delighting in the wild grunts that escaped the back of his throat as you did it.

”Don’t,” he breathed out, “don’t you dare,” he was whining with his arms wound around you tight, holding you down, making you stop the movements. You knew what he was saying. You could feel the change in him.

“So take them off, Baek.”

You pushed off of him first. With the way this was going he would cum in his pants before you got to feel him inside of you. His arms relaxed enough to let you go and you stood in front of him, the dress somehow still on, although pushed up very high on your thighs, but both shoulder straps pulled down and your bare breasts exposed, every single mark
from his mouth and fingertips flashed flush and hot on your skin. You still had on the stilettos and he stared at you blinking and breathing and begging himself for just a few more minutes of control.

With each of his breaths came small facial twitches. His eyelids pulled down on the exhale and his eyebrows pulsed on his forehead. His eyes closed and opened again and his lips twitched, “You are unfair,” he whispered.

At last, you heard his movement. His hands were at his belt and the quick sounds of that metal buckle and the slide of his zipper resisted against the pressure behind it. He lifted himself into an unsteady standing position and pushed the pants off completely, leaving them crumbled on the floor beside the suit jacket, and the tie, and the shoes.

You lifted a hand behind the dress to find the zipper.

“Leave it on,” he said, reaching for you with both hands; you were spun in place and the heat and warmth of the length of his body warmed your back as his hands wrapped around your waist, one gripping your breast roughly and the other he slipped down between your legs. He coated your back. Behind you, behind your ass you felt him slipping easily between your legs. You were too wet for any resistance at all.

You were moving. He was walking and pushing you forward back toward that padded bench he had been sitting on but his fingers slipped within your wetness as he did it, bumping against your already too wet; too worked up center made it so hard to focus on much.

He moved you; pushing your shoulders down and holding your waist up tight, making you bend down in front of him and your hands hit the bench in front of you, your knees resting on the edge of it and your ass in the air. There wasn’t any dinigity in this. This was fucking. It was desperate and animalistic. His palms ran over the curve of your ass, pushing the fabric of your dress out of the way, slipping fingers in between your legs roughly as he did it. You felt more than desperate. Each of his touches was superficial. Each time, not quite enough. He was so close to you though and his knee nudged hard against the inside of your own knee, making you spread your legs further for him.

Baekhyun was shuffling behind you. Fidgeting with something and whatever it was, it didn’t last long enough for you to care because he was back behind you, this time his movements felt more purposeful. You felt the pad of his thumb dip between your folds and he rubbed over your clit. It made you whimper and moan and push back into him. He knew how to make you cum but he wasn’t doing it. Perhaps it was to buy himself some time to calm down. Maybe he was paying you back for all of the teasing.

“

Baby,

you are dripping.”

You knew you were. You could feel it. With how long and drawn out this evening had been; with how much you had been denied by him; you were sure you’d be a complete mess.

You felt the soft roundness of the tip of him, slipping in between your wetness as he pushed himself between your folds. This — this was what you needed. This was what you wanted him to do. The action made you squirm and push against him. You needed to feel this again. As he pushed in again, he was also touching you only this time you heard something unexpected. It was a striking and familiar sound that rang out. You knew this sound. This was a cell phone camera shutter. It made your eyes open back up and you looked behind yourself for answers.

Baekhyun was holding your phone and he leaned to reach for you; covering your entire back with his heat and weight he pushed the phone screen forward into your line of sight and you saw it. You saw the picture he had taken with your own cell phone. “Do you see how fucking pretty you look? So wet and needy.” His whisper into your ear had you reeling. He was still moving behind you, pushing his tip against your clit again and again; but not yet entering you.

Your eyes took in the image on your phone screen. His dick in the shot, pushing inside your wetness. Each push from him felt that much more intense with this image in front of you. You felt close to losing control and your eyes drifted closed as you dropped your head and gripped the sides of the bench tightly.

“Do you want a video?” He whispered this next question just at the moment when you felt the building pressure from his actions against your clit. He knew he was bringing you closer as he asked you this question. Your head was swimming. You couldn't process what he was asking you. “Do you want to see what I see when I fuck you?”

Did you want that?

Did you?

You reached for the phone, grabbed it and held it up for him to take. You felt his thumb replace his dick and he was rubbing again. The wetness between your legs increased and your breathing grew frantic.

“Is that a yes? Can I record a video of me fucking you?”

You nodded your head. You already felt it. Your legs were shaking and you felt the trembling as the wave of climax took your breath and your functioning mind and you cried out. It took you a second before you opened your eyes and your phone was gone from your hand.

He pushed inside of you then; in a single rough fluid motion and the inundation took you by surprise, making you cry out again. The sounds, the low grunts with his effort, the deep moans of pleasure, the whispered curses that flew from his mouth, all of the sounds from him hit you just as hard as each rough thrust into you. You felt a mess. The slight pain mixed with pleasure you felt with each thrust had you grasping to hold on to something. There was a new sensation. Something different and unexpected and he did something with his hand, pressing with his thumb in between your ass as he fucked you and you felt crushed; you felt dizzy and overcome and he was shaking and trembling; holding on so tightly to you in this way that made you lose every single thought inside of your head along with every bit of oxygen inside of your lungs.

You both must have lost your damn minds, doing this here, in this place.

You knew the oxygen must have been returning because this thought popped into your head after a few moments of clarity. Baekhyun plopped himself down onto the bench beside you and wrapped his arms around you waist, pulling you to sit down on top of his bare lap. You could still feel the mess spreading between your skin and his skin but you were too spent to care much. He was holding you tightly into him and you leaned your head back to rest against his shoulders, leaning your temple against his.

In front of you Baekhyun held up your phone. The screen was illuminated with the filthiest thumbnail of a video you’ve ever seen in your entire life, outside of occasionally desperate porn videos that you watched sometimes when you were lonely and frustrated with life.

You could feel every rough exhale from his lungs warming your neck and you turned your head to look at his profile out of the corner of your eye.

He pressed play on the video and it came to life, the real life, sinful sounds of the sex you’d just had with him. You felt oddly transfixed watching this. Not nearly as embarrassed to have this view of yourself as you thought you might have been and you felt even more surprised to see what he had done while in the height of both of your orgasms that had pushed you so over the edge at the time. The ball of spit from his mouth that landed right over your asshole. The thumb he pushed inside. Your mouth flew open and you turned to look at him.

His eyes were down on the phone and he was blinking slowly as he licked his lips and bit down. You lifted a finger to point at the screen.

“Is that what that was?” It came out as less accusatory and more of a curiosity. And you saw the tiniest grin pull at the corner of his mouth before he leaned his chin over and playfully bit you on the shoulder.

“Can I have this video too?” He whispered the tiny request and looked over at you after you didn’t respond immediately. “You can say no.” He said softly with a shrug. “You can just delete it if you want to.”

“Don't forget to delete it again from your recently deleted folder, if you do.” Something in his voice sounded quite pathetic and sad as he reminded you about the importance of being diligent when deleting your sex tapes. “I’m sorry I got drunk and spit on you and put my thumb in your butt and made a drunk sex tape with you, if that’s what you’re being quiet about.”

You covered your mouth just in time to catch the snort of laughter that erupted from your chest. This man’s post nut clarity was hitting him very hard and very quickly. From between your legs, and all over his bare lap you felt the wetness move out of you with every laugh and his face turned into a genuine wince as he seemed to hold his breath when he felt it too. You tried your best to stop the laughing but you were too amused by this nonsense.

“You can send it to yourself,” you finally said after recovering from the manic giggling. “I’m not being quiet. I am in shock.”

He bit down on the inside of his bottom lip and the smile on his face grew wide and self satisfied and he was moving his hands very quickly over your phone screen as if you might change your mind and take it back any second now.

“But you liked it,” he sing-songed with a playful shake of his head and you heard a buzz somewhere from the floor where his own phone was still tucked away inside his pocket.

“I have it now,” he said triumphantly and he abruptly turned his head to face you with a bright playfulness deep within his eyes. You looked back at him curiously, feeling that something was brewing here.

His smile widened and he, very slowly, and very annoyingly, lifted a hand up into the air in front of you, palm facing you. He held it up with that same wide smile on his face. This wasn’t a sweet smile. This was a teasing smile. His eyes were full of mischief.

“Great sex,” he whispered and those same eyes looked crazed as he motioned toward his waiting hand with the smallest whine that came from the back of his throat when you didn’t instantly give him what he wanted. He gave his raised hand the smallest shake for emphasis.

“I’m not doing that,” you said, pulling yourself up off his lap as you headed away from him toward the bathroom stall so you could clean up the mess you had all over the lower half of your body.

“Oh come on,” he said, standing up and following you. “Do it. Great sex. I said ‘Great sex.’ You have to do it. I feel,” he inhaled a trembling and very dramatic breath, “extremely cheated right now.” His hand was still up and he was chasing you around the bathroom with it.

You tried to close the stall door but he pushed his thigh through the space and after a few seconds you saw that same hand push through, palm up, stupid and expecting — no — demanding that you cooperate.

You would never know peace in your entire life if you didn’t do this.

You were also certain that you would never know peace in your entire life if you did it too, because both scenarios would encourage his ridiculousness.

You lifted the quickest hand and slapped his palm.

“Woo!” He shouted, “Got the high-five!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Hi Mom,
It’s me.
I don't know what to say.Nevermind.
-B
—————————————
Hi Mom,
This is a letter to you. Well, that was a lie. No it isn’t. I want you to know that I am doing this against my will and this letter is not really for you. You are not the “Mom” I am addressing this letter to.
Yes, you are her, but she is not you. This isn’t a letter to you as you exist now. This is a letter to the Mom you should have been.
I’m sorry, was that too honest?I don't want to be writing this letter. It’s an assignment from my therapist. Mrs. Kim told me to pick someone who I wanted to talk to and because you don't exist, not as “Mom,” not as the kind of mom who I am honest with, I picked the person I wish I could speak to even if she exists only in my fucked up head.It doesn’t matter.You won't ever read this.
Whether I send it or not.
This is stupid.
-B
—————————————
Hi Mom,
How are you?
I hope you have been well and all of your hopes and desires and dreams have come true. I hope it has all been worth it. If anyone deserves it, it's you.Oh, yes. I am fine, thank you for asking. Thank you for always asking about how I am doing. Thank you for being the best mom. Thank you for bringing me into this world. Thank you for calling me. Thank you for answering my calls. Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for always being there for me, especially when I needed you the most. When I needed you today. Thank you for never abandoning me or calling me a disappointment or picking your new family over me.
Thank you for loving me.Things are going so, so, so, so great and I absolutely don't want to die every single second of every fucking day. No, I haven’t been crying. There is so much pollen today. The lights in here are too bright. This room has so much dust. I have been keeping it together very well. I have done as I was told. I have gotten over it. This is me over it.I have so much to tell you.I
have
so
much
to
tell
you.I have so much to tell you.I have so much to tell you.
-B
—————————————
Hi Mom,
Today is my birthday.Chanyeol bought me a cake.I broke off my engagement.
-B
—————————————
Hi Mom,
Starting work with Dad tomorrow. I feel like I’m going to vomit.
Your assistant called me today.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t miss the call, I watched it ring.She didn’t leave a voicemail. That means it wasn’t important.I guess it’s not important.
-B
——————————————
Hi Mom,
Dinner at Dad’s was especially awful tonight.I won’t marry her.
I will be firm.
I will be strong.
I will be in charge of my own life.Will you be on my side? Will you listen to me?Mom, Mrs. Kim says I should write to you and tell you everything that is inside of me. What am I even doing here? What do I feel right now? Everything inside of me feels not enough but also too much.
I am tired. I am hungry. I am a little bit cold, I’ve been shivering. I think I lost too much weight again. My bones hurt. I have a headache. I have a stomachache. I have a heartache. I won't marry her, I don't even know her. Dad says you are mad about it. I guess he answered the call.Chanyeol is back and we have been going to the gym together. It’s so hard, I am sore all over.
OH.I saw someone at work today. I’ve seen her before but I saw her again.
That’s all, I guess.
-B
—————————————
Hi Mom,
It’s just a stupid fantasy but sometimes I think about calling you and talking to you about my life and you answer and invite me over for a long weekend and we drink wine together and watch movies and you touch my hair with your hand and tell me it’s time for a haircut with a sweet look in your eyes.
-B
————————————
Hi Mom,
You know what?
You don't have to worry about me. I have Mimi and I have Chanyeol and I have friends at work and friends at the gym and I have someone to talk to. It’s so easy. It’s so easy. Don’t you worry about me. I will be fine.
I’m going to tell you something.
This…this, these words that I say to you right now, this, it doesn’t matter. No one will ever see this. I can just say whatever I want. No one will know except for me. This isn’t even addressed to you. I might as well have just addressed this letter to myself. This is mine. I can say whatever I want to say. I finally got it, Mrs. Kim. I get it, okay? Are you satisfied?
Okay.
So lately I’ve been watching this girl. Maybe I should say woman. I’ve been watching a woman.
Oh god.
I’m a creep.
No. No judgment. Mrs. Kim said to write without judgment.
So yeah, I’ve seen her. You know when you see someone and your eyes just follow them? Like I don't want to be doing this. I am not trying to do this. But it is happening. She is there and I am watching her. For no reason. I don't even work with her. She’s on the other side of the building, doing something important. I am just showing up to work because I have to.
She wants to be there.
She is a 10.
Not just because she is pretty, that is mostly irrelevant. Mostly. At first I noticed that she was pretty, of course. I am human. I saw her get in the elevator and I knew she was pretty, but somehow, she feels more than just pretty, do you know what I mean?
Like, she is a magnet. If she is in the room, I am powerless.What the hell is this?

-B
————————————
Hi Mom,
I shouldn’t tell you this.
You aren’t really you so It’s okay if I tell you. You aren’t real. I can say whatever I want to say. I can say what I want to say. I can mean it.
I will say it.

Fuck you.
See. I can say whatever I want here. This isn’t even real. Even if it’s real inside of me, it’s not really real. Nothing is real.
I meant that but seeing it makes me feel like shit. I feel like shit. I feel like shit. Fuck you. I feel like shit.
My instinct is to take it back. I don't mean it, Mom, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Mom. I was wrong. I won't do it again.
I am writing this letter in a permanent marker. I cannot undo this. I can cross it out and I just went up there and I crossed it out. Both times, I crossed them out. I still know it happened though.
I meant it. I still mean it. But it aches.

-B
———————————
Hi Mom,
I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet lately. It’s been months since I last wrote to you.
So much has happened. I don't even know where to start.
I’ve actually been busy with work. How fucked up is that? I’ve been learning new things and working with other departments and I’ve been insanely busy all the time. It’s actually kind of great. I’m not the worst at some of it. Some things, I enjoy them and I do well. A lot goes into this stuff. I didn’t realize when I was younger just how much goes into the stuff you see on tv. Dad’s kind of… nah, I won't say it.
Also every now and then, I get to see her.
She is everything.

-B
————————————
Hi Mom,
Do you remember when I was little and you picked me up early from school and we went for ice cream and we played at the park and you had on that white dress with the red flowers and you let me hold your hand even though my hand was all dirty from falling on the ground and sticky from the ice cream, you still held my hand anyway, do you remember that?
Was that a dream?
-B
————————————
Hi Mom,
I am so fucked up.
Do you want to know about this girl? The woman from work — she is…she is older than me. She is so calm and collected and put together and she is clean and pretty and she absolutely doesn’t deserve the things I am doing with her face in my mind at night. Sorry that was too much. I am not proud of this part of me. I’m very weak to her. I’ve realized that now.She doesn’t know I exist.
I really mean that. She looked right into my face today and there was zero recognition. She didn’t even really look at me and I still couldn't breathe. She is much too busy and much too important and she’s spread very thin but she handles it well. What she needs is an assistant. I have no idea why she doesn’t have one. She is a manager, someone important. She is better than all of the rest of them. Even Dad said so. Every single time I am around her I want to rip off my own head and hold it in front of her and beg her to see me.
But God.
It’s bad. I can feel it getting bad. I don’t know what to do about it either. I don't know if there is anything I can do. She’s just working, she just works and works and works and I watch her and she has no idea I am there. I am on fire. I can feel it starting to consume me.
I showed Chanyeol a picture of her. He agreed that she is very pretty but then he asked me how old she is and I think he thinks she’s too old for me to be so interested in her which is hilarious. She is perfect. I am already obsessed. She is real.
None of this is real, but she is real.
-B
——————————
Hi Mom,
We were alone together inside the elevator today for thirty whole seconds.She came in from the outside with a single cherry blossom petal stuck in her hair. My hands were shaking when I pulled it out.
I have it.
She must have allergies in the springtime. Her eyes and nose were kinda pink and she sounded stuffy.

-B
———————————
Hi Mom,
Something happened.
Something is wrong. Some bastard did something to her.
She changed her phone wallpaper. Her insta is private. She doesn't have allergies to springtime. She was crying.
I can't do anything for her. I am powerless.
-B
———————————
Hi Mom,
I’m going to get good at this job. I’m going to learn everything and I’m going to be the best at it. Not just one job, but all of it. I understand what Dad is doing. He is turning me into him, but I’m going to be better.Everyone here works so hard. I have to earn my place here.

-B
———————————
Hi Mom,
I’ve started drinking coffee.
Coffee is a must for office workers.
It gets me through the hours.
The hours in between when I see her and when I don't.
You must think I am pathetic.
And I assure you, I am.

-B
———————————
Hi Mom,
There was this thing called a wrap party tonight. It is a big party we throw after a project finishes and everyone dresses up and everyone goes and by everyone, yes I mean everyone and yes, I know what you are asking, and my answer is yes.
Yes.
Yes, she was there.
Jongdae says I stare too much. That’s one of my friends. He says I make it obvious, but what am I supposed to do about that? It is obvious. She is everything.I didn’t think the party was that much fun. I didn’t really see the point of all of the alcohol and all of the music. People were dancing. I guess they all had fun. I didn’t. There was no point in dancing by myself, or worse, with someone who isn’t her.
She didn’t dance with anybody. There’s this one guy who is obviously trying to get with her, his name is BeomSik but he goes by something dumb like Chad or Chip. I don't remember, but it’s stupid. Him and his stupid face and his stupid hugs. Anyone can see that she isn’t interested. He’s just this big idiot.I left the party early.
I’m going to sleep.
-B
———————————
Hi Mom!!
Something happened.Something big happened! I am going to explode.
I knew a transfer was coming. I’ve been moving around all year, but this time. This time, I did something. I went to Grace, the head of HR on Dad’s floor and I did something. I lied to her and — and I told Grace, with absolute certainty and confidence, that the ID Manager had requested an assistant last year and I would like to be placed in that position.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
She looked into her computer and actually said to me “ID Manager doesn’t have an assistant.” And I said “I will be the assistant, Grace.” And the woman looked at me for an entire minute before she just went back to typing on her computer for the longest time. My heart was inside my asshole. Sorry, that’s...
After she was done typing she said “I sent the request to your father’s secretary, Mr. Byun.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHI am going to THROW UP.

-B
————————————

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You stood before the mirror scrutinizing your own reflection for any obvious evidence of this forbidden act you’d just taken part in.

Somewhere within the stall, Baekhyun had been busy with cleaning up and putting himself back together; just as you had done moments earlier. You heard the soft grunts and slightly annoyed grumbles coming from behind that closed door, “—a bathroom — of all places — we aren’t kids hiding from our parents.”
“Uhh…” he called out in a low voice. “I gotta take a piss.” There was just a touch of a slur in his syllables, “you don't mind, do you?” His question was mostly mumbled, but you heard the clank as he lifted the toilet seat; not waiting for your response.
“I think we are well beyond that sort of modesty, Baekhyun.”

“Are we?” You heard the stream hit the water in the bowl. “At least we have that.”
You leaned in closer to the mirror and touched over the dark red spot on your neck; pulling your own hair over the skin in an attempt to hide it.

Whenever you moved, so did your hair and the hickey showed up again. You reached for your small bag, remembering the touch-up makeup you’d brought with you. You tried your best with it, but the spot he’d made with his teeth would be one of his more lasting works. You could practically see all of his frustration from this evening with the teeth marks he’d left in your skin.
The toilet flushed as the stall door pushed open and Baekhyun emerged still zipping up and fastening his belt buckle.

“You know, I have a key to the penthouse in my pocket right now but you wanted to fuck dirty in a satellite bathroom on the third floor.” You heard hints of sarcasm. He was washing his hands. He was lifting his collar and tying his necktie, looking into the mirror as he re-did everything your filthy rendezvous had undone. His fingers flew up to the top of his head and he coiffed his remarkably still perfectly styled brown hair.
You rested a hip against the bathroom countertop and leaned your head against the wall beside the light switch, feeling just a tad dizzy from the copious amounts of alcohol you still had in your system but doing your best to focus on the many clues about something this man was haphazardly tossing in your direction.

You were having a bit of trouble gauging his mood. He seemed to be acting just a little bit prickly. It didn't feel like he was just drunk, this was something else. Leftover frustrations from being teased all night perhaps? A side effect from the three-hour boner? Was this pampered prince too good for kinky bathroom sex? As far as bathrooms went, this was a pretty nice one. There were warmed, rolled-up hand towels in wooden trays from IKEA, tasteful art hung on the walls, and on the other end, faceted mirrors lined the wall there that had given you a multi-angle view of what you looked like being fucked by your secret boyfriend. There was some sort of a fragrance that was released on a timer up in the corner. You’d heard the device squirt at least once while you’d been in here and now it didn't even smell like sex anymore. And it wasn’t as if you’d dragged him in here. He walked over here himself. Hell, he probably sprinted.
You watched his pretty side profile in silence as he did things like run a fingertip over his eyelid; wiping something imaginary there, or run his hand below his pouty pink bottom lip all while looking into the mirror at his own stunning reflection.

His eyes were blinking and he was not making any grand gestures or rushed movements in your direction and after a few breaths in and out and after a few more, quite excessive smoothing motions with the palms of his hands over his already neatly tucked shirt, he moved again to tug at his belt buckle, then moved his fingertips toward his own necktie that he pulled with an artists precision into about as straight a line as humanly possible and you were watching him with a building sensation that this man was, very obviously bothered by something you had, or hadn’t done.
”Baekhyun?” you said with all of your remaining unasked questions flipping up the inflection at the end of his name.

He inhaled a breath and only looked into his own eyes, blinking them slowly once. Then twice. On this third blink his eyes opened and his eyelids fluttered just enough to show you how much he was holding himself in a carefully barely controlled state. He was deliberate with it — with making a point to avoid your eyes entirely.

This pretty man had settled himself into a fit.
You were sure it wasn’t the sex from earlier. The sex had been amazing. He had liked it, you were sure of it by his giddy excitement at having his very own sex tape saved into a secret, password protected folder in his phone. He’d even made it a point to disable any sort of cloud back-ups that might have inadvertently saved it anywhere else. He’d gone through big gestures of saving yours in the same way. Double locked and very strong password protected. Some acronym of some code sentence he’d made up on the spot and you hoped to God you’d both still be able to remember it when you sobered up.

No, no, this was something else; something you simply could not ignore and from beside him on the countertop you could see the occasional notification popping up on his cell phone screen. It had been placed on silent but it was very much alive and very active. From where you stood, you could see the occasional pop-up message telling him he had been receiving text messages and they seemed to come one after another in rapid succession. Some even at the same time.
You pushed away from the counter and took a few steps; feeling either too drunk or too entitled to look away from his phone screen and in the mirror you caught the movement of his eyes as he watched you approach his phone. It was very active. You saw names popping up again and again. Summaries of text messages filled with laughter and images displayed in tiny thumbnails.

“What is all that?” You peered down at it and heard a slow sigh come from deep within your boyfriend’s chest.

“Group chat,”he said as he reached a finger out and touched his phone screen, “the guys,” not bothering to move the phone away from you or conceal it in any way; instead, he was reaching out unlock it, to bring it to the forefront of your vision so show you everything and to bring all of this nonsense up for you to see. “They’re making jokes and memes…to tease me…about you.”
The chat moved quickly. Tons of laughter and childish ribbing at his expense. An occasional picture with words written on it. You saw an image of a weeping man pulled deep down into the throes of despair coupled with some words embedded in the picture about a high-five from the love of your life followed by more raucous laughter from several people who all talked at once. An occasional question directed right to Baekhyun asking about where he even disappeared to. Someone saying he was off crying in a corner. One more noticing that you had vanished as well and you crossed your arms over your chest knowing deep down that the longer you both stayed gone at the same time, the more suspicions amongst your friends and co-workers would grow.

There was no more delaying it. You both knew it. This desperate need you both had succumbed to had been temporarily satisfied and unless you wanted those suspicions to become rumors and those rumors to be backed up with coincidences or worse, facts you both needed to come up with your next move so you could rejoin the others at the party and it really needed to happen sooner rather than later.
Something about his quiet observation of your face and the way he kept his tongue motionless well inside of his closed up mouth despite the half blinking you saw in his eyes and the way his eyebrows twitched up on his forehead had you hesitating to say what really needed to be said.

We should get back to the party.

We’ve been gone for too long.

Someone might notice.

Someone might find out about us.

Instead of speaking you cleared your throat and grabbed your bag, taking one step away from where he stood; one step that brought you closer to the door and further from him.
He didn't say anything but his eyes watched you and oh there was a darkness that grew inside of them.
Why couldn't you just speak to him? Something shameful and dirty had a hold of your tongue and you could feel a growing guilty feeling beginning to take your mood with the words of your plan for escape sitting on the very tip of your tongue refusing to come out.
You couldn't just leave him here. After bringing him in here to fuck and then leaving him behind once you’d been satisfied. It felt so far beneath you to do; not to him. Not with that silent pout you saw on his face the further your feet moved you away from him, the more it grew.

You couldn't stand it.

You spun around, facing him once again and his eyes widened marginally when you took another step toward him, reaching your hand up to reach around his shoulder you placed a palm over the back of his neck, pulling him into you as you leaned into him.

You kissed him. You pressed your lips over his and you let your lips part into his mouth as you kissed him without any hesitations or reservations, you kissed him.
He kissed you. He pulled you into his mouth and took a step into you, molding himself into the feeling and the shape of all of you until both of his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and you were pulled into his chest; into his firmness; into his open mouth. Baekhyun kissed you back deeply and he kissed you back slowly.

All the while you hoped and wished that your lips and the warmth from your touch might soothe every worry that had tried to take hold inside of his bothered chest. You wished he could have been so easily soothed with a few kisses, a few touches, a few reassurances.
He pulled away from you first and with his lips pulled tightly in between his teeth he inhaled a slow breath well into his lungs through his nose.
His forehead rested against your own and his arms still tightly encircled your waist, holding you here with him for a few moments before the itchy question that had been bubbling beneath the surface of him finally broke free. You heard the inhale before he spoke.

“How much longer do I have to be your secret? I hate it so much.”

Of course this was it. You’d had a feeling this was coming. He’d given you hints that he didn't really enjoy all of the hiding and scheming to keep your many sins under wraps. Even his unrestrained delight to find out you’d so easily throw away years of your career just for the chance of staying with him forever had told you that this man was not the type willing to keep his love hidden for very much longer.

You moved your hands over the back of his neck, threading your fingertips into his hair and you closed your eyes, steadying the rush of nerves that spiked at the very thought of the others finding out about the two of you.

“Soon. We won’t have to hide for much longer. I promise,” you spoke through a whisper and you felt the tip of his nose brush over your cheekbone before his soft lips pressed kisses into the softness of your cheek.

“Just not…tonight. Not when we’ve both been drinking and we disappeared together for so long.” You felt the pull of his lips against your skin. It was a smile. You felt the wetness of his teeth as he smiled. “It would be so obvious what we’ve been doing,” you complained.

“Soon, when?” He asked with a whine. There was a playfulness in his words that wasn't there before; before you gave in and promised him this all would be over soon.
”Monday. Monday we can ride to work together and you can drop me off on your way up to your new office. We can even hold hands if you want to.”
”Super early on Monday morning before anyone else gets there?” There was a petulance in his voice as he continued the sulking act. He knew you well enough to know that you always arrived well before any others from your team and probably before anyone else on the entire floor did. Lately though, with him occupying your heart and your bed until the very last minute, you’d tended toward wandering in later and later.
“We could sleep in a little. Maybe stop for coffee first. We could be a little late.” The alcohol really seemed to be doing a number on you. As you daydreamed of what might possibly come on Monday morning you couldn't fight the giddy feeling building up inside of your chest. Baekhyun had pulled his face back so he could look into your eyes as you told him so many of the sweet promises he’d wanted to hear.

“What if I kiss you goodbye at your office door and leave you behind to answer all of their questions?” He was giggling. It felt manic. His kind of happiness was the most contagious kind. The trembling in his chest shook you and made your own laughter break free. This feeling was more than intoxication. It was a new kind of hopeful happiness that you wished would never end.

“Monday,” he said after a while and on his lips he wore the sweetest smile with his pretty pink lips pulled tight and his eyes curved. “It’s only four days. I can act pathetic and lonely and single for four more days. If that’s what I must do—”
His words were cut off by the steady hum of a phone on vibrate that was ringing. You heard the sound echoing out inside the tiny room and both of your heads turned toward the sound of the buzzing on top of the bathroom countertop. He dropped his hands from around you and reached for the phone holding it up to his face for a few milliseconds to read the name on the screen.

He was pressing something and holding it up to his ear as he angled his torso away from you, at the same time holding his index finger up to his lips to let you know that you should not speak if you wanted the secret of this relationship to remain intact.

“Yeah, what?” He said into the phone with a gruff, put-out tone. You could hear the sound of another voice on the line, a man who’s intonation sounded like he was asking a question. The casual, super familiar tone you heard from both men told you this was a close friend of his. The finger he shushed you with told you that it might be one of the close friends sitting out there at the tables near the dance floor. One of the members of the teasing group chat who hadn’t stopped flooding his phone with messages since you’d given him that co-worker worthy, platonic high five.

“I’m taking a shit, why? What do you want?” He angrily barked into the phone and you swallowed the surprised hiccup that caught you off guard with his insane choice of an excuse for his absence. You had to lay a hand over your mouth to keep yourself silent through the shock and you’d just barely moved fast enough, thankfully, to keep yourself from being heard by his caller.

Your eyes were wide on him and you felt it then, again, just as you had genuinely felt it while you watched him with that rowdy group of young men earlier. The sudden and genuine shock at this version of Baekhyun that you honestly had no idea even existed until you’d witnessed him interacting with his friends had you questioning everything you had thought about him until now.

He was listening to his friend talking; nodding his head every once in a while. Silently agreeing to something without using his words. Maybe he was too drunk to realize the person on the other end of the line couldn't actually see him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Baekhyun had taken two steps further into the bathroom and pushed the bathroom stall door open. He noisily flushed the toilet and moved to the sink to turn on the faucet, pulling the phone down from his ear and waving it next to the sound of the running water for full effect.

He’d hung up the call and turned off the water before looking up into your surprised face with a passive expression on his face.

You watched him in silence for a few breaths before his eyes glanced emptily around the room a few times as if to question what your curious reaction was all about.

You shook your head back and forth before you spoke. “Who even are you?” Your brows were furrowed and you looked directly into his brown eyes as you asked the genuine question. You were honestly very curious about what sort of new surprises you would learn about this crazy man in the future.

You heard him scoff and he lifted his hands in front of him, palms up as his eyes looked between the two.

“I am a single, lonely, pathetic loser who has just given himself a killer fucking alibi for where he has been for the past half-hour.” He said this with his chin pointed toward his right hand. Clearly indicating the side he represented. When his focus shifted to the other hand which he held out in your direction he nodded in your direction before he spoke with a single lifted eyebrow above one eye.
“Where have you been for the past half-hour?”

This silly man believed himself to be too clever for his own good. You shrugged and scoffed with a quick and dismissive eye roll. You would show him how to craft a perfect alibi while also keeping your dignity intact.
“ Darling , I am drunk and this place is huge. I got lost.” It sounded so simple because it was simple. It was also plausible, as out of character as your drunken behavior had already been so far… You pulled your cell phone out and opened the group chat with a few of your favorite coworkers and teammates and you quickly typed out a text message, ignoring any typos you saw your impaired fingers produce.

“I thought the [arty was on the 5th floor I’ve been up n down this hotel so many times. did they move the party?????
someone help meee :(“

You showed him the message and nearly instantly, and as if on cue, the replies began to pour in.

“Omggggg ma’am lmao”

“lololol miss manager is lost”

“search party for mis manger nobody has any more fun till we find her”

“She’s so cute drunk”

“Third floor! We are on the third floor!!”

“Stay where you are I’ll come save you”

You looked up into Baekhyun’s shocked face and your lips pulled into a self satisfied smile.

“You are so cute drunk. Who is the one who said that? Is it a guy? Dani sounds like a guy.”
His pointy fingertip was touching your screen as he tried to scroll back up and get closer look at the names and pictures of the people in this group chat and you specifically did not dignify his silly questions with an answer. Instead you locked your phone and put it back inside of your bag; turning your back on him, you raised a hand to unlock the bathroom door.
You poked your head out first. The coast was clear and in the far off distance you could hear the thump thump thump of the party that was still going on. “You go right and I’ll go left?” you asked behind you.Baekhyun’s head poked out beside you, just over your shoulder and he turned his head quickly to the right and to the left, scanning the area for witnesses. You had already done this part. He didn’t need to also do this part.

“If you go left, you’ll get even more lost.” He said in a serious voice and you felt him give you a solid push through the doorway at the same time as he reached down and grabbed ahold of your hand. He started walking toward the right, pulling you along with him.

“Baekhyun,” you whispered from behind him, wiggling your hand to try and get him to release the tight grip, “Baekhyun, I wasn’t really lost.”

You pulled back against him harder, and stopped your feet from moving forward, “Baekhyun, that was a lie, remember?” It took some urging but he eventually felt your resistance and turned back around to look at you. There was a sudden change in his face as he closed up his eyes and threw his head back. His lips pulled into a wide and beautiful smile and he had a moment of realization.

“Oh shit, that’s right,” he laughed hard and pulled his hand over his belly as he did it.

Oh no.

Ohhhh no.

This man was not in his right mind right now.
”Baekhyun,” you urged in a more serious tone, trying your best to keep all hints of amusement off of your face. You could feel your own smile fighting you. He was so drunk and he was so adorable, “Baekhyun, not tonight. Not tonight, okay? Monday. Remember?”

You pulled your hand out of his and he looked down at his own empty hand with a small frown before he nodded his head up and down twice.

“Not tonight,” he repeated, showing you that he was here now and he fully understood what you were telling him. Until his eyes found yours again and he inhaled a quick breath to speak again.

“Tonight!” he said excitedly and his lips were parted and your stomach dropped as you flattened your lips and closed your eyes in frustration.

“Not tonight.” You said feebly but he was excitedly tapping you on the arm. Clearly worked up enough about something to be having trouble getting the words out in order.

“No, no. I know. Not tonight for that. Not that, but tonight — tonight, my friends, the guys, my boys,” he was moving as he gestured with both hands as if they held onto something in the empty space in front of him, “and your girls,” he moved his hands to hold onto the emptiness on the other side, “my boys and your girls,” his face dropped and he lifted an eyebrow, “are having an after party tonight. Tonight , tonight.” He lifted a hand and pointed his finger downward.

Clearly his words weren’t fully cooperating with him and he’d resorted to using his hands and arms to pantomime his meaning. It worked though. You followed wherever his hands moved and you relaxed with the faith that he would behave himself just enough to keep things under wraps until Monday. He was also very excited about whatever he was trying his best to tell you about right now.

With one hand he reached out wide to the side and he closed his eyes up and shook his head. “After-party,” he said, “round two,” he lifted two fingers up with his eyes still closed.
”My party,” he placed his palm flat on his chest and swayed on his feet, “my going away party — Junmyeon said your girls told him. My boys have been invited. We are all going — tonight.”
“They are,” he lifted both hands and intertwined his fingers in front of his face, “they are all together now.”

After he finally got the entire message out he giggled quietly to himself.

“Woooo,” he breathed through his mouth, making a little sound as he did it, “I’m drunk — hitting me now. Fucking tequila.”
He smiled that breathtaking smile right at you before he turned and left. You noticed he took a right turn at one of the hallways ahead of you and you were thankful that in his drunken mind he knew the layout of this hotel enough to be able to find a different route back to the party.

You counted to twenty inside of your head before you took the first step and it only took you a few moments before someone grabbed you by the arm, linking a warm elbow within yours with a cheerful smile on her face. There was another girl on the other side, equally as warm. These were your people.

“We found her!” They both cheered in unison toward a much larger group of people who all lingered on the outskirts of the now, winding down party. “Round two! Round Two!” A noisy chorus rang out and you were not once let go of someone’s tight grip on you as you were steered quite deliberately out of this hotel ballroom, into an elevator that moved down to the street level and out of this building entirely.

From the murmuring around you, you gathered that Baekhyun’s cousin owned a swanky bar up the street; easily within walking distance. Spirits were high and the group of people was larger than you thought would be able to fit inside of a single bar. Worries were hushed and Baekhyun assured everyone that he texted his cousin and the bar was completely ours for the rest of the night. There would be food and alcohol and music and even, “An open mic should anyone wish to serenade someone special,” one of Baekhyun’s noisier friends said with a dramatic wink of his eye that earned him a hard smack on the back.

You had no idea who anyone was. There were just so many of them. You did hear someone calling one of them Junmyeon and you knew this had to be the one who had called Baekhyun earlier. There was also a Minseok who was shockingly pretty for a man, and Jongdae who was the loudest of all of them. If you had thought Baehyun’s best friend Chanyeol had been loud, apparently you just hadn’t heard Jongdae’s volume yet. There were some others who were much quieter, and one with striking, large, very expressive eyes who hadn’t said a single word since you’d seen him. He did give you a sweet smile and a little nod of his head which put you at ease. You were certain he was a delight on his own, but with this group, he probably just couldn't be bothered with competing against the other very loud, very chatty members of the group.

Swanky seemed like not a grand enough word to describe this place. The word “bar” was such a vast understatement it hardly even deserved to be used at all. This place was the highest of high end; the kind of place without a name on the door, without a listed phone number; with a strict clientele of only the city’s most elite visitors. You were sure most of the people who walked by that door on the street level had no idea what kind of beauty and opulence lay just inside. They would never know either.
The moment you stepped inside the fragrance, the lighting, the shimmer and glimmer and the air even, all enveloped your body entirely in what could only be described as the kind of warmth you feel coating your skin when you slip into a hot bathtub. It was like slipping out of your bra and restrictive loathing and slipping on a silk nightgown that expensive smooth fabric that glides against your skin.

You were all ushered toward a large table and one by one, people sat down. Baekhyun was sidetracked by a beautiful woman who pulled him in for a tight hug. She spoke to him in joyous up close whispers and he replied in kind with giggles and smiles, grabbing his hand and shaking it, giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek. You were unprepared to face the hot surge of jealousy you felt deep inside your chest and you had to look away from this exchange. You focused instead on keeping the sweet smile etched onto your face. Your hands were shaking and your feet moved as if the floor was covered in super glue, but you kept that smile up for long enough for you to find a spot to sit at the big table.
Your just clear enough mind fought very hard against your heart and pulled your legs to sit down in the empty seat between Sandi and Marci before you could linger too long on the empty one beside where Baekhyun was headed, on the opposite side of this enormous table.

You didn’t need to feel the warmth of his body beside you.You didn’t need to be reminded of how good he smelled.

Dishes of food arrived and fresh drinks were passed around and the small waitstaff was overly attentive and polite. The delicious food did more for your mind than any fake smiles did. You could feel your blood clearing the more you ate and as the food went in, you kept your focus on the food in front of you, on the drinks in front of you, on the company of women that sat on either side of you for long enough to get a handle on it. For just long enough for you to trust yourself enough to look up and across that table at the pair of dark brown eyes that you could feel watching you at this very moment. As he ate, as he laughed, as he talked and joked, as he drank; those eyes always found you. You were right to put some distance between you both.

The air in the room shifted then as the hum of the A/C sounded out suddenly and you felt a slight chill in the air. It was probably because you were sobering up some and the heat from the liquor wasn’t warming you from the inside anymore but you could feel an alarming sensation from below your revealing dress as the chill puckered your skin.

Oh no. Your stickers were long gone. A weird self conscious thought invaded your mind and you pulled out your cell phone to send the quickest discrete text message to your boyfriend. You kept the phone below the table as you did it and you gave it a second before you saw his attention drawn to the phone in his pocket.

His hands moved below the table and you watched the tick of his pupils as he read your message. There was a quick movement of his thumbs and your phone vibrated once, telling you he had responded to your question. He did not look at you at all but was well into a long discussion with the men who sat around him.

“Can you tell that my stickers are gone?”

”yes.”

He answered you so very quickly. He didn't even look up to verify that he could actually see your ice cold nipples poking straight out, ruining the luxurious look of this dress. This wouldn’t do. You rose to your feet and excused yourself for the bathrooms; all the while crossing your arms over your chest as you rubbed hands over your bare forearms in some attempt to warm yourself up. You needed a first hand look in the mirror. Maybe someone had a suit jacket you could borrow. With all of these charming young men surely one of them could sacrifice theirs for a lady with a chill.

You had to walk past his end of the table to get to the bathrooms and you noticed he shifted his weight a bit as soon as you began moving; all while still not looking at you. He continued carrying on with his friends; laughing and joking as if you were of no interest to him at all. If only you could borrow a tiny bit of his self control right now, you might not have been watching him so intensely.

He stood up on his feet the moment you came right up to his side on your journey through the room.

In a swift motion, Baekhyun, stood on his legs and he removed his blue suit jacket, then he turned it around, leaned over to where you stood and placed it right over your shoulders as you walked by and the moment the warmth and the smell of him landed over your back, coating you entirely in the heat you’ve been craving since you walked into this bar, your feet stalled their forward motion and you actually froze in place.

Not him though, the action was smooth as hell. Just as fluidly as his initial surprising movement started, he continued the motion and spun back around in a circle, sitting down seamlessly, effortlessly, and very quickly as if he had never even gotten up in the first place.

But he did. He did get up. He did give you his warm jacket with all of his body heat and scent and he did it right here. He put it on you himself with his own two hands.
And everyone saw him do it.
He did that in this room full of people — people who had been drinking all night, people who knew the both of you, people who, at least half of which, knew of his intense crush on you. The room erupted into a drunken cacophony of hoots and hollers and you could feel the blood rushing straight up your neck and warming the skin of your cheeks.

“Shut up. She was just cold.” You heard his complaints clearly as he was obviously trying his best to quiet down the excitement he had just caused, “You guys are so dumb.”
You forced your feet to move. Gripping the lapel of his jacket tightly around your shoulders you took another step and then another, moving quickly away from the noise and chaos he had just caused, towards the sanctity of that bathroom that you so desperately needed right now.

After a few quiet moments your phone buzzed once.

“Sorry,” was all his text message read.
You opened it and read it but you did not reply. Instead you used the toilet, washed your hands, used your ice cold hands to cool the hot skin on your face as you gave yourself a quietly whispered little pep talk about what you should be doing with your eyes while you were out there. You decided that you would strike up an intense conversation with Sandi about her love life. You would be engrossed enough to hear about her escapades to keep your mind off of the handsome man who sat at the end of that table ignoring you while his very attractive “cousin” or whatever the hell she really was to him, giggled at his jokes and gave him free appetizers, and told him about a girl she was going to set him up on a blind date with and called him Sweetness in a saccharine tone. Did she think she was a southern debutante?

You derailed your own pep talk with the pain you felt in the palm of your hand. You were squeezing down so hard you saw little half moons pressed by your fingernails into your palm.

You took several deep calming breaths. You recognized that you were acting ridiculous. Self awareness is the first step to recovery. You reminded yourself of this mid-calming breath and when you emerged from that bathroom and stepped out into the hallway you noticed that much of that chaos and noise from earlier had settled down. You could hear voices, some excited shouting and some groaning and it sounded like the group had finished dinner and had moved on to some sort of game. Knowing this group, it was likely a drinking game; hence the over the top groaning and cheering.

A quick peek around the corner kept your feet from moving forward because Baekhyun’s chair was empty. Had he left for the bathrooms as well?

Your shameless curiosity drove your legs to move in the other direction because your ears picked up on a familiar voice, just off a corner from where you stood.

It was his voice for sure. He was chatting and there was a word attached to a statement in a woman’s voice that gripped you so tightly to hear it said out loud.

Fiancé

She said the word fiancé .
Only the word and its meaning was skewed and broken because she was speaking to him quite obviously, about someone other than you.

“I saw your fiancé the other day,” she said. You felt a spindly pins and needles sensation slipping up the back of your spine.

He responded in a low voice. You couldn't make out what he said. It was some sort of low, rough tone.

“Oh really? That’s not what I heard.” She replied in a cocky, confident tone and you heard him clear his throat. Was that a nervous, caught sort of throat clearing? Was it annoyed or denial? Your lungs burned and you felt as if there wasn’t enough air to clear the anxious buzzing happening inside of your skull.
Fiancé? You felt a dizzy, sinking feeling inside.
Had Baekhyun been engaged to marry someone? Someone he loved, maybe? You could not help the way your neck craned to get closer and the few steps you took as you closed your eyes, begging to be able to hear what he was saying to her. The sounds of his clear yet quiet voice, at last, broke through the noise.
“last year — bullshit — excuse for a mother — my life is mine — can think whatever they want — drove me to a point — almost gave up — ”

You only got bits of it but from the little you had to work with you could tell right away and with the realization came an instant shame that covered from the over of your head down straight into your chest. This wasn’t something he had chosen. It wasn’t something he wanted any part of. Someone had been forcing him into it. And at some point last year, during his lowest point it seemed, fueled by some personal crisis, triggered and hopeless, desperately awful in every way — he called it all off.

Something so huge had happened in his life during that time and you had no idea about any of it.

You felt an acrid taste in the back of your throat. You took a step back and away from this and quickekend your steps further once you were sure you were out of earshot.

This isn't something you wanted to overhear about him like a sneaky jealous girlfriend who just couldn't stand the idea that every single bit of his mind was occupied only with you. You pulled the suit coat tighter around your shoulders as you moved. You felt dirty and unworthy of the sweet warmth he had given you as you did it. It was an awful feeling; knowing you had overheard something like that; something he likely didn’t want you to know about.

You wanted him to tell you all about his past, no matter how painful it was, but with his own two lips. You wanted him to share his past pain with you just as you would share your own past with him; but only when you both were ready for it and only on each other's terms.

Your stomach ached with the idea of leaving this to fester. Leaving this guilty feeling to sit inside of you without speaking to him about it; without apologize to him for your blatant jealous, shameful eavesdropping.

You had found a small nook just off of that hallway and you stood there chewing on your thumb nail and you waited.

It didn't take very long before you saw the first glimpse of him. He wa heading back to the table and you reached a hand out, touching his arm from where you were hidden inside of your little hole. He actually flinched and yelped out in surprise when you touched him.

“Jesus,” he was holding his chest as he whispered.

“Can I talk to you for a second? Just for a minute, please.” You recognized the serious tone on your own voice and it had you cringing for how ridiculously bad you felt about this. His face shifted instantly. He was overcome with a look of genuine concern and worry and he nodded his head, looked once behind him and made a motion with his hand toward another area of the bar. It was a space just off the kitchens where he led you to and once you followed him back there you found him leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his own chest in a fully protective stance. His eyes were full of worry and you realized that your choice of words, the ‘can we talk’ thing must have sent a jolt of panic through him; as it would have sent through you.

The second you came close enough for his whispered words to reach your ears you saw the small step he took in your direction. He lifted a trembling hand to reach out toward you and on his lips was the beginning of a pleading apology.

“I’m sorry about the jacket — ” he began. You lifted a hand and shook your head to cut him off.

“This isn’t about anything you did. I owe you an apology and I need to say it now or it’s going to destroy me from the inside.”

Your quick words closed up his mouth and his shoulders sagged as he his face ticked to the side in confusion. His didn’t speak but his eyebrows furrowed and you caught the stuttered breath that caught halfway inside his throat as he tried to breath through it.

“I overheard your conversation just now with your cousin. It was not my place to hear it. I was dealing with some imaginary jealousy about how friendly and how familiar you were with her and I heard you two talking and before I could stop myself, I was listening to what you both spoke about. I’m so sorry I did that. It was awful of me to do. I feel as if… that was your private … life .. and if the tables were turned and you had done what I did, I might be upset about it. I’m so sorry, Baekhyun.”

He was motionless throughout your entire confession and apology and when you were done speaking you inhaled a deep breath and held it as you anxiously watched his face for any signs of what he was thinking about what you had done.

You saw a wave of motion move through him and he turned away from you for a moment as his hand ran over the length of his face. When he angled himself back in your direction his brown eyes sat heavy and deep within your own and he looked at you with a pull of his chin upward.

Before he spoke he licked his lips and his face twisted into the smallest grimace.

“You didn’t need to ever tell me that you heard that—” He started speaking. A clear upward inflection in his words that signaled very plainly that he wasn’t finished speaking with this one phrase. You couldn’t help yourself though.

Your nerves had your hands shaking and your voice trembling. “It was wrong of me to list—” you interrupted him but as soon as your words left your lips he raised a hand to stop you from speaking. You knew you were wrong. You knew you were moving out of turn and his quick hand and with the tight way he closed his eyes, instantly stopped your silly tongue from moving any further.

“Stop, please—“ he begged quietly and you bit down on your lips to keep yourself better behaved.

“You— didn’t need to tell me this…you could have gone the rest of our lives never mentioning that you knew this until one day it came up and I told you — I told you how painful it was, how hard it was for me at the time and you could have just pretended not to know and acted so surprised to hear that yes, I was being forced to marry someone I don’t know, against my will, my entire life and future being stolen from me because of disgusting greed and how very fucking close I came to not even existing at all anymore because of that pain—”
“I would have told you about this. Absolutely, and without a doubt, I would have told you everything, but you — you — instead you — instead you have given me honesty. You chose, for me, to be so very gracious and beautifully true to me and save me the years of the indignity of believing something about you that isn’t true.”
“Do you realize how insanely unparalleled you are? Do you have any idea how high of a standard you set?”

“How can I ever compare to you? I think I would have listened and I wouldn’t have even felt guilty about it. I wouldn’t have told you I heard anything. I don’t feel like I deserve you at all, but goddammit I love you so much I feel like I’m going to cry.”

His heavy words pulled your arms down from your chest and they hung lifelessly by your side. You felt pulled in every way, down into this carpeting that covered the floor below your feet. You had to close your eyes and drop your face and you slumped and sagged deep on the inside under the immense weight of all of this.

“You don't have to be so quick to forgive me,” you whispered and you heard the movement in front of you when he took a step. You noticed the shadow of his arms moving around you a second before you felt the warmth of his embrace as he circled himself around you, pulling your shoulders inward with the pressure of his hug; he pulled you firmly into his chest; tucking his face into your hair just over your shoulder and the breathe he inhaled from here trembled and shook.
“There is no part of my life that I want to keep private from you,” he spoke directly into your ear and you stumbled backward with the force of this embrace. “Let’s just think of this as a fortuitous event. Now I don't have to lie to you or come up with some stupid excuse for why I’m too much of a coward to answer my mother’s phone calls.”

“I don't think that’s cowardice, Baekhyun. You don't want to be hurt. Anyone would avoid pain if they can help it.” You could feel the relaxation in his limbs as he loosened the tight hold he had on you. You used this opportunity to lift a hand and lightly tap along his arm, urging him to let you go. The crisis had passed and you were lucid enough to know that this sort of embrace was definitely not something co-workers did, no matter how much they had had to drink that night.

The food you’d both had earlier had really done some wonders for your resolve and self control because he let you go quietly and took a step back, leaning against the wall with his arms firmly crossed but much lower over his chest this time.

This time, it wasn’t to protect his heart from whatever potentially damaging word you might need to tell him. Now he took on a much more relaxed posture that looked almost too casual. He had a slight grin on his lips and his eyes had a bit of mischief that always, always put you on some level of alert. You knew this look. It was never good news.
“So you were jealous,” he said with a little head shake, “of my cousin?” With the second part of his question he sneered and lifted both of his eyebrows with a forced look of disapproval but just enough self serving amusement for you to understand that he was more much more flattered than creeped out by your ill-placed jealousy.

You rolled your eyes and you were certain much of the disgust he should have felt when he thought about a close relative was displayed all over your face. Why did he look so amused by you?

“She’s very touchy — calls you Sweetness — ugh, kisses you on the cheek and hugs you so tight with her,” you motioned with your hands over your own chest, “body pressed all up against you. I couldn't tell if she was actually a close family friend that you just called a cousin who obviously wants to sleep with you, or a real, honest-to-god first cousin.” A new thought occurred and you inhaled to keep going, “ugh, or like one of those fourth cousins, twice removed; the ones that you're legally allowed to marry and make babies with even if it is technically still gross.”

His eyes narrowed, with that smile still firmly planted in place on his lips and he looked up and away from your face. He was silent for a few seconds too long and his eyes trailed up over the top of your head. He was doing some intense thinking. Some genome math. Some heavy generational calculating.
You did not like the looks of this.

“Actually, I think she might be like a third cousin, now that you put it that way. Pretty sure, legally, we would be allowed to get married and make tons of babies. The genes are technically far enough apart. It would still be kinda weird though... I mean, for me. I don't know how she would feel about it.”

A sound broke free from deep within your chest. It was a disgusted grunt and you threw your head back and released it from deep within you as you turned around; giving your back to him so you could walk away from this ridiculous man. You ignored the teasing little ‘he-he-hes’ that broke free from his mouth. You were done. You were finished with this conversation, if he was going to admit out loud that technically she wasn’t even close enough of a cousin to be illegal to marry — and how dare he one-up on your reasonable and vague number of babies by making it “tons of babies” — you didn’t want to hear any more. Not only was your jealousy justified, but this man was gross. Not legally gross, but technically gross.

You were walking away. You could hear him calling after you as you did it.

“But hey, I’m young and single right? I’m single and lonely and pathetic for the next four days, right?” The sassy, sarcastically delivered quip stopped you in your tracks and you instantly turned back around, took three quick steps toward him so you could look right into his face. Just so you could see the look in his eyes as he dared to say such a thing. He seemed to physically recoil to see you return so suddenly.

You did not say anything; all you did was look at him but it seemed to elicit a strong reaction from him. His jaw snapped shut and his laughing, teasing expression shifted and turned extremely grave and serious with your unexpected and sudden return.

”I’m sorry. I was kidding. It was a joke.” He said the moment he was able to inhale a breath to speak, he gasped again, “joke — j-joke. Please don't hurt me.” He whispered nervously and you balked at the suggestion that you would dare resort to violence. All you could do was shake your head in disbelief. All you could do was lay a hand over your chest at the audacity of this man and after a few moments of neither of you moving, you simply turned and walked away.

You returned to your seat at the table alone; although, still wearing his blue coat. The color complimented the shimmering sparkle of your pretty dress perfectly and it was warm and it smelled like him. You wiggled into your seat and Sandi and Marci each handed you a drink. One had beer and the other was smaller and had liquor. Were you really up to another round of this?

It didn’t really seem much up to you because another game was starting and you were up. This game was two truths and a lie. If your falsehood was sniffed out you had to drink and if you were safe with your lying skills the rest of the group had to drink. It was pretty cutthroat and the choice of the lie had to be unanimous and made within a 30 second timer. Phones were forbidden, even though these lies and truths were so personal there was no way someone would be able to google for an answer. Still, you were up first and you pondered for a few moments before you spoke. You picked something very safe. ‘I have never been on a rollercoaster. I am in my 30s. My first pet was a fish.’ Nothing risky and nothing incriminating but strangely enough the two options outside of your age had started quite the heated discussion. You smiled cryptically as even Baekhyun seemed genuinely torn between the rollercoaster and the fish option and when the timer on someone’s phone rang out the group scrambled and chose the roller coaster as your lie.

You shrugged and told them your first pet was a puppy and everyone groaned and drank their shots.

The game was fun and the further it progressed the more intense the discussions grew. There was analyzing from all perspectives and the truths and lies grew bolder and harder to believe.

The drinks were being thrown back at record speed and soon enough you felt the familiar buzz of the alcohol coursing through your system. Jongdae’s lie had been that he didn’t know how to tie shoes and there was much shouting as all of the men around him pointed out his perfectly tied shoelaces. Someone else mentioned how they saw him personally tying his daughter’s shoes the other day at the park and he was easily snuffed out. Baekhyun was up next and he lifted his finger to his lips in thought for a moment before he spoke out.

“I have a diplomatic passport. I own the hotel we were just at. I am in love with someone from work.”

The gasps were loud and came from all sides of the table at his scandalous words. Each one seemingly of equal intensity and you did you best to keep your expression neutral as you lifted your beer and took the smallest sip. The bottle in front of your mouth hid the tiny smile you had there and the discussion around the table seemed to be truly torn. All of the men believed the lie was about the hotel. There was much discussion about how much Baekhyun had to travel in his life and how that hotel had no mention of the Byun name on it. The men never even once questioned the phrase about Baekhyun’s work crush.

The women on the other hand seemed to fixate on this one. ‘I’ve never seen him interact with anyone except for Sunny, who he was training so he had to interact with her, and Miss Manager. Who else would it possibly be? He’s just too busy with actual work to be in love with someone. Unless he just never said anything and kept it to himself. I wonder who it is.’
Eventually the men were louder and pushier made their decision stick; doubting Baekhyun’s ownership of the hotel and you had to smile widely simply because you could not stand knowing exactly which was the lie and being powerless to say anything out loud about it. You simply sat here with your beer in your hand, relishing in his little confession hidden within this game.

They were all wrong. You had to take a shot as well and his eyes were on you as you did it. Those lovely eyes shot tiny little hearts in your direction and you hardly even felt the burn of the strong liquor going down your throat.

“The diplomatic passport?” Junmyeon asked Baekhyun noisily, demanding answers and Baekhyun just smiled and looked down into his drink.

“Wait, so you own the hotel? No way.” Marci asked him across the table and Baekhyun nodded his head once and lifted the beer to his lips.

“I don't believe it. They’re all lies. He’s lying about all of them.” Her tone was petulant; made sulkier sounding with the amount of alcohol she had consumed and he leaned over toward Marci with his own cell phone in his hand.

“Marci, look up the number of the hotel. You can watch me type it.”

Marci took the challenge personally and began reading numbers out loud which Baekhyun carefully typed into his phone. On the last number the entry changed to a saved phone number with the name of the hotel and he placed the call on speaker so everyone could hear. The phone rang exactly once before a polite voice answered.

“Mr. Byun, What can we do for you tonight?”
”Sooyoung, can you let me know how many empty rooms we have left tonight? My friends need somewhere to crash after the party. Do we have enough for,” he lifted his hands and counted each head at the table. You ignored it when he skipped you and you hoped to God these drunk people weren’t paying enough attention to notice that neither you, nor he got counted. “Ten more?” He said after counting.
A typing sound echoed over the stunned and silenced group and after a few moments the woman returned to the line. “We have enough, Mr. Byun. I will get them ready for your friends. I’ll place the room keys under your name at the front desk, sir.”
He thanked the woman and the table erupted in more of that familiar chaos of cheers and applause. You noticed that Junmyeon ( I am a Gemini. I love rabbits. My blood type is A ), the man who sat right beside Baekhyun had a puzzled look on his face and he lifted a hand to count the heads at this table, coming back not quite with the same number as Baekhyun had counted and puzzling over it while looking down at his own finger.

“Wait a minute,” Marci called out noisily. “If you own the hotel, and you don't have a diplomatic passport,” she gasped out loud and covered her mouth with wide eyes as the pieces slowly began to fall into place for her, “then who are you in love with from work?”

The attention of the girls was back on Baekhyun, but suddenly the group of men all jeered in her direction, clearly covering for him. “Hey, don't ask that,” someone said admonishingly. “A man’s gotta have some secrets,” someone else said.

“I thought it was pretty obvious already,” Kyungsoo, the quiet man with the big eyes abruptly spoke out in a smooth and low voice that could not have been more unexpected seeing as how he hadn’t said anything at all since his round of two truths and a lie ( I like cooking. I have three dogs. I own six pairs of the exact same pants. )
“Let’s play truth or dare then,” Marci spoke up, quite put out with being told to zip it by this group of pushy men when she was clearly way too invested in this love story to let it go. If there was one thing you knew about Marci it was that she loved the gossip. All gossip. Any gossip. She was a sucker for it all. She was in this for the drama.

The of girls all cheered and you braced for the possibility of having to drink a lot more alcohol if you ended up being dared to do anything too risky, or possibly anything at all involving Baekhyun.

The next game was up. Minseok emptied his beer bottle and placed it on its side in the middle of the table and gave it a good spin. Sure this game wasn’t spin the bottle, but everyone liked the randomness of selecting the next victim in this way. As if pulled by some sort of act of fate the first spin landed on you. All at once, everyone’s face turned to look at you expectantly.

“Umm…truth, I guess.” You said, fully prepared to lie through your teeth if you had to.
”Do you know who he is in love with?” Marci wasted no time at all and the entire table erupted in rabid laughter. The laughter from the men’s side of the table was more intense than anything you’d heard from the group yet.

You steeled yourself; put on your best poker face, the one you used during business meetings and negotiations and you shrugged your shoulders with a slightly disappointed frown.
”I do not,” you said. The disappointed groans from all around were intense. Baekhyun’s eyes never left your face, not even for one second and you reached forward and grabbed the bottle to spin.

Tonight was not your night. The bottle landed on Baekhyun.

The noise was deafening and Baekhyun sat there with his eyes closed up tight in defeat with the smallest tense smile on his face.

“Truth or dare, Assistant Byun.” You said. You knew it was your part to ask, being the last one to spin the bottle.

“Truth,” he said, opening his eyes to look into your face.

Your mouth felt too dry and you sipped a little of your beer as you pondered the kind of question you could ask him that would satisfy this insane group of people but wouldn’t give anything away.

“Ask him who he loves. Do it. Do it,” Marci, Sunny, Dani, everyone was begging you to do it. The pressure you felt in this very moment was astounding. You had to inhale a slow and careful breath just to be able to stand this. The only silent one was Sandi beside you and you looked toward her just as she looked away from you.

You received her message. You figure this one out. I’m out of ideas, she said to you with her avoidance. The woman wouldn't even look at you. She was suddenly extremely interested in something she pretended to notice on the drink menu on the table in front of her.

“Umm…Assistant Byun, do you want to tell us who you are in love with?” It was a dirty manager trick. You technically didn’t ask him to answer the question. Anyone who heard this question would see your good intentions as you presented them. You could play ignorance quite easily for the mistake with your words and Baekhyun lifted a single eyebrow and smiled easily. God, he was a pretty man.

“Not really,” he said, clearly answering the question with honesty and satisfying the measure of the truth aspect of the game while still revealing absolutely nothing, thanks to your creative evasion.

The entire table moaned and groaned out loud. Some shouted in your direction, telling you to ask more directly next time and you laughed and gave your easy apologies to satiate this group of absolute drunken maniacs.

Whenever Baekhyun or any of his boys remained in charge of the line of questioning, things went pretty smoothly. They really were a good group of friends who had his back. The first real bit of trouble came when Marci had the spin and her bottle landed on Junmyeon who sat chewing on his fingernails beside a glaring Baekhyun.

“Truth,” she shouted ravenously, “or dare.” She added as an afterthought. She was trying to influence his decision and as his lips formed the letter D you actually heard her growling in his direction.

He caved so easily. A timid, “Truth?” Came from his lips and Marci pounced instantly.

“Who is Baekhyun in love with? I know you know.” Baekhyun was moving fast. He had his hands on the trembling man. The entirety of his side of the table filled with men were holding in their laughter, holding their bellies that hurt from laughing so much, and many of them braced for something to happen. Every single one of them had clearly had too much to drink by now. They would all suffer dearly for the over indulgence tomorrow, but tonight was just too much fun to stop now.

Junmyeon’s eyes went wide with terror and Baekhyun had lifted a hand to lay over the back of Junmyeon’s neck. You thought he might even be gripping tightly into his neck where no one could see.
”You’re thirsty, aren’t you.” Baekhyun lifted a shot of liquor up to Junmyeon’s lips and Junmyeon nodded his head and quickly and quietly swallowed the alcohol that Baekhyun poured into his mouth.

Beside them both, Jongdae was down on the floor laughing and wheezing through the tears that fell from his eyes.

You couldn't help your own laughter. The evening had progressed to such a point and so many near disaster moments had been carefully avoided you found yourself laughing just as much as the rest of them. Your cheeks were sore and your belly was sore and Junmyeon was spinning now. His bottle landed on Marci and everyone screamed out loud in agony recognizing that the cycle was never ending.

Marci was too determined, as were the other girls who had joined in this quest to uncover Baekhyun’s truth even if they had to sell their souls to do it. Theories began to be thrown around. It had to be someone here. Otherwise those men wouldn't have been so protective of Baekhyun and his secret. The girls were on fire; eyeing everyone else suspiciously on your side of the table and the next major crisis hit when Sunny’s spin landed on the aloof and very exhausted Kyungsoo. He had already had so much to drink and you could see the fatigue with all of this on his face.

In his best attempt at it, he picked dare.

“I dare you to whisper into my ear, the name of the person Baekhyun is in love with.”

The table had gone silent. These men knew the threat that they suddenly faced and Baekhyun’s eyes watched his friend with genuine worry. He blinked quickly and you heard the smallest plea, “Kyungsoo,” he said quietly.
You had some sort of an idea about this man. If anyone could stand up to Baekhyun and the rest of these men, it was probably Kyungsoo. He had a quiet sort of authority that you didn’t think many people would question. It wasn’t that he was unkind toward his friend. The man simply had a definite limit and had clearly reached it.
”I can’t drink anymore Baekhyun,” His words were very slurred and slowed down. The man stood up and rounded the table to where Sunny sat with an elated smile wide on her face and you watched with your heart in your throat as a whispered exchange happened between the two of them.

Kyungsoo then stood up straight and simply walked back to his seat and sat down.

Sunny though. Sunny’s hands flew up to her mouth to cover her surprised gasp and her wide eyes flew around the table as her entire face turned pink with excitement.

On both of her sides the girls were tapping her, and begging to be let in on the secret. It really did seem as if they knew something concrete with how very stunned they all looked once they had learned of the secret name.
Across the table, Baekhyun stared ahead of himself without any focus.

Everyone was very drunk already. Maybe no one would remember any of this tomorrow.

The group of men had all gone silent and after a few moments of whispering between the girls that pointedly did not land into your ears, a strange silence fell over the room.

“Well?” you said rather unceremoniously and abruptly. You couldn't stand this anymore. The cat was clearly out of the bag and you needed to know exactly what Kyungsoo had told Sunny and what had that girl all flushed and bashful about. You needed to know what you were working with to know how to act about it.

You needed either some damage control, or some denial to be happening right now but none of them were telling you anything. They just looked into each other’s faces and down at the table in front of them.
Your question was ignored. It was very unlike them, but they did it.

It was Kyungsoo’s spin and he grabbed the bottle and gave it a good go. You watched that stupid thing come to a stop pointed right at you and you lifted your eyes to look at the man.
“Truth,” you said before he had a chance to ask. As soon as you spoke, he did too.
“How do you feel about Baekhyun?” When the man said he was tired, he really meant it. He wasted no time. You felt the heat of everyone’s eyes on your face and the longer you sat here with this question hanging in the air above your head the less you really cared that much about what you chose to do. You avoided all of their eyes as you deliberated.
If you answered truthfully, well…
If you drank to avoid the question, well…
You weren’t much for bravery. You grabbed your shot glass and downed the liquor. The moment the glass touched your lips the table exploded. Someone was shaking Baekhyun by the shoulders, pulling him violently back and forth and you could see the laughter on his face.

“She didn’t answer it!” someone shouted excitedly.“That could also mean she hates him and is just too nice to say it!” someone else shouted with the exact same level of enthusiasm.

You truly began to feel a lot of the same fatigue that Kyungsoo had been complaining about. His head was down on the table now and his eyes were closed. You couldn't be sure he hadn’t passed out right here at the table.

It was your spin and you gave it a good go. It landed on Marci and she looked into your face with her lips pulled up tight in surprise. She gave you the tiniest hiccup as a response and you looked into her face; suddenly very, very tired of playing this game.

“Truth or dare?” You said to her. Her choice did not matter. You would get it out of her either way.
She picked dare and you shrugged, “I dare you to tell me who he is in love with. You can whisper it into my ear if you want.”

Marci looked nervously around the room. No one seemed to have any suggestions or offer her any help and so she just swallowed nervously and leaned into you.

You heard her small inhale up close to your ear before she whispered, “Baekhyun is in love with you.”

The sensation of hearing this whispered into your ear at a time like this, while being closely observed by every single person at this table who knew what you had just been told was like an out-of-body experience.

You were floating up above your body. You could see the top of your head, you watched the nervous way you reached out for your beer and lifted it to take a big drink of it. You could see yourself fidgeting with the napkin underneath the beer, tearing it into tiny pieces with your fingertips and rolling the bits into little logs that you dropped onto the table cloth. This whole setting was a mess and you had been the one to make the mess. Across the table, you saw Baekhyun as he sat there completely motionless with arms crossed tightly over his chest, his posture sagging low in his seat and his eyes watching your face intently. It didn't look like he was breathing.

The entire bar was so quiet you could have whispered and every single person at this table would have heard you.

You inhaled a breath and blinked slowly, pulling your eyes up to look into Baekhyun’s across this table. You still did not feel like you were inside of your own body; making these choices; saying these words. You were not involved in this anymore. This woman who wore your face and sat here in your spot was inhaling to speak and opening her mouth as she prepared her voice to say something.

“Byun Baekhyun,” you said. Ten stunned faces turned away from you and looked at Baekhyun.

“Yes ma’am?” He answered through clenched teeth.

Tiny gasps peppered throughout the group. It was like a tennis match, they were looking at you again. Faces were covered with hands; gaping mouths were hanging open; someone was making a wild whimpering sound and smacking someone next to them in excitement.

“I don't think it’s her turn to ask. Marci is the one who has to spin next.”

“Oh my God, shut the fuck up. Let her speak.”

“What the fuck is happening right now.”

“I am going to pee my pants.”

“Yes ma’am. He said, yes ma’am.”

“She said his fucking name. Let them speak.”

The rules no longer seemed to matter anymore.

Kyungsoo had lifted his head from the table and was watching you too.

“Are you in love with me?” You looked into his brown eyes, doing your very best to keep the tremble out of your hands. You had to shake your head a little bit to clear some of the heavy nerves that suddenly made your mouth go dry and Baekhyun did not answer your question right away.
”I thought you said not tonight.” His muttered response was cryptic and vague enough to bring more confused faces back to watch you for your answer. He was right. You had been the one to make this rule and you were the first one to break it. You’d always been very good at breaking all of your own stupid rules when it came to him.

“Baekhyun, are you in love with me?” The attention was back on him and he lifted both of his hands and rubbed them roughly over the length of his face.

Someone beside him poked him lightly on the arm, whispering something encouraging in his ear. Answer her. Tell her. Say it.

His eyes were closed.
When he inhaled to speak, a single earth-shattering word rang out.

“Yes,” he said.

He spoke it so softly; pulling his eyes back up, opening them and letting them land squarely inside of your eyes. He left the word to linger on his open mouth for a moment before he inhaled another half breath; just enough air for him to speak again.
“Yes, I am. I love you. Desperately.”

No one was moving. No one was breathing. Mouths and eyes hung wide open.

“Holy shit,” someone whispered under their breath. “This is insane,” someone else whispered to the person at their side.

The silence was going on for too long and someone cleared their throat. You hadn’t responded with any words to Baekhyun’s answer to your question and after much too long of everyone sitting shell-shocked it was Kyungsoo who moved first. He reached forward and spun the bottle in the middle of the table and twelve sets of eyes stared down at the spinning thing until it came to a clumsy meandering stop pointed directly at the man who had just shocked the entire room with his love confession to you.

“Baekhyun, I dare you to kiss her.”

The once silent table erupted in commotion again. There was an excited energy surging through every single person at this table and you had to close your eyes to block out the pinkness you saw in his cheeks as his friends all tugged at his sleeve, shook his shoulders, sent urging words deep into his ears with such intense insistence that he finally sighed out loud and asked his friends a simple question.

“Should I?”

Baekhyun was pushing himself away from his seat at the table. He was standing up on his two wobbling legs and he took several large steps in your direction.

Your eyes were wide as you watched him. You felt too surprised to do anything other than watch to see what he would actually do.

You hadn’t expected the speed with which he reached your side and you felt so caught off guard with his sudden close proximity that you stood up the moment he came up to you.

It all happened so quickly. You had stood to face the man who marched up to you and you gasped when you felt his arm slip around the back of your waist. He pulled you into him and you stumbled enough for his coat to fall off of your shoulders and pool down at your feet.

Your balance felt unsteady. You reached for his waist out of habit, out of that familiarity with the shape of this man and the way he fit so perfectly with your body. You wrapped your arms around his waist at the same moment as he reached up with his other hand and cradled your face in the palm of his hand and his eyes were down on your lips.
He leaned into you then. He kissed you. Right here with everyone watching.
He pressed his soft lips into yours and the gasps of shock from all around were drowned out by the loud pounding of your heartbeat inside of your ear drums. He tilted his head into you. You pulled his lips in between yours and you felt the soft wetness of his tongue as he slipped it along the surface of your teeth, biting down lightly on your bottom lip as he pulled away slightly, only to come back into you; deeper this time. Hungrier and more demanding. Definitely not something two people kissing for the very first time did. Definitely not the kind of kiss for a room full of witnesses.

Oh, you felt ablaze with this. You’d forgotten every single rule you’d ever fooled yourself into believing you could follow.

When at last Baekhyun pulled his mouth off of yours, you felt the trembling inside of your chest at this brazen act. Your hands felt shaky, your legs felt like you might drop at any second. You felt your breathing too heavy to settle easily and he rested his forehead over yours as he breathed just as heavily.

Your hand had wandered and you dropped your fingers from where they had threaded into his hair at the nape of his neck. With your bodies pressed up against each other’s and his heavy breaths fanning over your wet lips he opened his eyes and looked into yours and your lips pulled into the smallest smile. This kiss felt like the beginning of something. You felt an overwhelming relief surging through your chest and you watched his own smile slowly manifesting on his face. You leaned into him, placing the smallest kiss on that pretty smile of his. The man giggled softly when you did it.

“Jesus Christ.”
“Byun Baekhyun, you goddamn—”“The son of a bitch did it.”
“He did it”“A long time ago from the looks of it”
You had to turn your head away from them all; covering your mouth with a trembling hand you moved and you felt curious movement from his fingertips along your right hand that now hung limp by your waist.

He was lifting your hand. He was pulling at your ring finger there and you turned to look at his actions as he very steadily and carefully removed the diamond engagement ring you’d been wearing on the wrong hand all night.

He held it up in between his thumb and index finger and peered through the hole of the ring before he turned to you with his empty hand raised, palm up asking for you to give him your left hand.
You were out of any bit of resistance. You laughed and lifted your left hand and placed it carefully inside of his and he slipped the ring onto the ring finger of your left hand with the widest, cheekiest, most breathtakingly beautiful smile you’d ever seen.
You responded to that smile with a hopeless laugh of your own and you felt him lifting your left hand up in the air.

“What?!” their voices all shouted.

“They’re getting married?!”
“What is happening?”
“Oh my god I can't believe this””You’ve got to be kidding me. Since when???””Are you telling me we didn’t know anything about this?”
Chairs had fallen to the floor. Drinks were spilled and dripped messily all over the table and the floor. People were on their feet shouting. Some were screaming. Some were laughing and clapping. First in confusion, then in understanding and acceptance and the place was a thunderstorm of so much commotion that even the staff and chefs had come out from the kitchen to gawk at the strange occurrence that was happening out in their dining room.

“For the record, I knew.” Sandi raised a hand at last and the reactions were mixed. Some demanded to know how she would have dared to keep this big a secret for so long. Others were simply flabbergasted that such a big thing could have happened right under their noses.

Baekhyun was giggling. The unparalleled joy you saw in his face matched the elation you felt inside of your body as you laughed with him. Doing your best to answer whatever questions you could answer as tactfully and respectfully as possible and after much of the chaos and drama had subsided enough for you to manage to get a word in you raised your voice, calling all of their attention again.

“By the way,” you began with a smile as you turned to look into his joyful face.

Your next words sent them into a wild round of cheers and applause.

“You are all invited to the wedding.”

The End.