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Ice queen. It's not the first time she's been called that and it certainly won't be the last. She's so used to enraged little men losing their temper because she won't bend to their will, at first they're all goo goo eyed because she's spontaneous and sexy- the type to dance on tables with full choreography, blame it on her childhood spent obsessively watching Ciara dance videos. My goodies, my goodies, my goodies not my goodies!
Everyone loves it at first, go Paris, go Paris, they egg on her until that's their bird on the table, until she becomes babe instead of Paris and then they expect her to strip everything about herself that got their attention in the first place- her personality, her clothes. Control enforced as boundaries. So she's a runner, her relationships never spanning longer than three months. She jokes to her friends that her love life has an expiration date and convinces herself that she doesn't need anything else, she's not built for anything better, endless love is for good girls and a good girl she is not.
That's why it burns out before it can even simmer with Wesley, he's hot and smart and loaded- she even has his app on her phone her best friend Sharee doesn't know how to take no for an answer. So she knows that he's a catch, but the way he gazes into her hazel green eyes tells her that it's bound for failure. She's not girlfriend material and everything about him screams monogamy and white picket fence.
"You don't want to sleep together anymore?"
If only he meant that sexually she could answer differently.
She can hear the clear hurt in his voice and she should feel worse but mostly she's annoyed with herself for not doing this earlier, it went on for too long and now pain was inevitable.
You're such a heartless bitch!
Famous last words from her exes but Wesley is always a gentleman and at her gentle nod he silently starts to bundle up his belongings from their shared bed.
"No, no. I'll leave, you stay. I'm the one doing this so you shouldn't have to leave." She ignores the interested eyes and ears clearly tracking their conversation, hopeful glances thrown in her direction a pair of dark eyes burning a little deeper than the rest but she's an expert at feigning ignorance when it suits her.
"Where are you gonna sleep?" Naomi's overly interested voice rings out in the room, and she knows Wesley won't be sleeping alone tonight if she has anything to do with it.
And then she feels
him
looking at her still, carefully watching her with a heated gaze so heavy it's like a physical touch on her skin.
But she ignores him too, there's no reason to return his gaze they aren't like that, he's with Nora for all instant and purposes and she's with no one but that means sometimes him and it works for them. She enjoys a rule break every now and then, a bit of fun as he's poignantly described it but they were both the very reason a show like this existed. Masters of no self control.
"You're welcome to join us, three is never a crowd round here!"
That gets her attention because it's exactly what she needs, a distraction from what's happening with her and Wesley, something to take the attention off the well meaning CEO and put the target on her. She's used to it.
So she shifts into character grinning at his cheeky accent, then she takes a step forward much to Nora's annoyance all too evident from the squint of her eyes and the nasty sneer on her lips.
Step by step she draws closer to them, reveling in the spark in his eyes and how openly he watches her like a predator with a prey. Classic case of male naivety, she's the most dangerous thing in this room.
"Ummm Ryder babe I don't think that's good ide-"
Nora's posh voice cuts off as she sits on the edge of their bed, long boho braids tumbling over one sun skinned brown shoulder as she tilts her head seductively in both of their direction.
Ryder never looks away, that permanent smirk etched into his handsome face as he eyes her starting with her hypnotic eyes and ending with her parted full lips.
"Come closer, you can't sleep with us from all the way over there." He pats the bed right in between himself and Nora, who looks so angry Paris is waiting for steam to come out of her ears.
It's a dare. One that she would normally ignore but everyone is watching Wesley included and it's probably best that he sees who she really is, that he not think there's any chance of her changing for the better.
Wordlessly she climbs onto the bed, Nora's indignant squeak giving her the courage to swing her leg over Ryder until she's straddling him, his loud gasp of surprise and his hands immediately gripping her hips giving her pause before she slides off right into the small space he invited her into.
"Sorry. You were blocking me just needed to......climb over."
The room is disarmingly quiet now the silence dragging on even as she eases further into a bed she'd never intended to be in. Ever.
"Are you fucking serious right now Paris? Ryder are you really going to let her stay between us?"
She fights the urge to laugh out loud, Nora is hilarious leaving Zayn to try to tame the poster child for fuckboys all around the world. As if Ryder is going to be upset about two attractive women in his bed.
Feeling extra petty she twists in the bed, pressing her camisole covered breasts into his thick arm, feeling him twitch as her nipple grazes him lightly through the cloth.
"Yeah Ryder what are you thinking? Do you really want me in your bed too? Isn't Nora more than enough? Should I leave?"
She knows she's being a bitch. It's all she knows how to be, coming from a long line of bitches. Her mother the biggest one she's ever known, growing up happened quickly and she left home as soon as she could never looking back.
Ryder turns to face her too, as always playing her game even though it only pushes them further and further from the group. Two lone wolves don't make a pack but they just can't play nice with others either.
"Like I could ever kick someone like you out of my bed."
And that's her cue, everyone is surely watching and she's done more than enough to set Wesley straight now and she pointedly avoids looking his way, already familiar with the look he'll be wearing. If Naomi is an opportunist tonight should be her night to shine.
"Paris why don't you join me? I don't think that's appropriate."
She almost rolls her eyes at Zayn's suggestion, you would think the guy who's been crying over Nora for days now would take this perfect chance to invite her into his bed but instead he's trying to accommodate her childish vtantrum and leaving her in Ryder's clutches.
She opens her lips to refute the offer when Ryder beats her to it.
"Nah mate she's not sleeping in your bed. Don't worry about Paris." There is an edge to his words that usually isn't there, Ryder is a jokester and she knows she's seen his more serious sides probably more than the rest but this is new. It makes her stomach drop and not in a pleasant way.
"Well where is she going to sleep Ryder she can't sleep here!" Nora chimes in, arms crossed over her chest and lips almost nonexistent from her rage.
"What's with you? Why don't you go--"
"I'm sleeping outside. You're all too loud." She interrupts easily, that had been her plan from the beginning. All this shit stirring had been for nothing but she never thought this would happen to begin with, Ryder wasn't suppose to react that way. He was acting weird lately. Ever since she told him that she didn't care that he kissed Nora and that she planned to keep exploring too.
"Paris, that's unnecessary. Just sleep with me, it doesn't have to mean anything. I understand you don't.... yeah. I get it okay, so just sleep here?"
Sweet Wesley if only her heart wasn't a block of ice. Why couldn't she just want him the way he wanted her? She really was the worst.
And she should say no but there's something in his eyes, he's begging her not to say no. A quick glance at Naomi shows an opposing request and she remembers all the catty comments said both to her face and behind her back and her mind is made up.
"Okay."
Yeah she's petty. Sue her.
Wesley looks relieved and her heart thaws marginally as he opens the blanket for her, patting her spot on the bed and waving her over warmer than she deserves. He's the first person to ever tug her into bed. She'll never tell him though that's too pathetic for television, nobody is here to hear her sob story.
Naomi grumbles under her breath but it's too quiet for her to hear and honestly she doesn't care, in her world if it's not directed it ain't respected.
Their bed smells like shea butter and the beach due to her hair products and Wesley's penchant for morning swims, their scents warring and melding together
She sleeps with her back facing him unaware of the pair of eyes watching her across the room until she descents into a deep sleep.
Kai isn't her type. Not in the slightest. But she's not here to get married, hell she's not even trying to fall in love so he's perfect for what she needs. A bit of harmless fun.
There's drama over her saying yes to the date as expected and it escalates when they learn about the free kiss, everyone here acts as if she's a villian and maybe she is because she wants no part in their committed relationships. She appreciates that they all seemed to have found their someone immediately within days but that wasn't how her heart worked, it didn't beat the same everyone else's did.
Was she afraid of love? Maybe. Afraid that she was incapable of it.
But she's always been transparent about who she is. She even had a shirt that aptly said proceed with caution. Yet, people never did and then she was the one in the wrong, it was so exhausting. It would probably be easier if she were a guy, nobody would question her then.
And ironically the one questioning her is the person who should understand her the best so it hurts, more than she'll admit. Because if he doesn't get her who the hell will?
"Why do I even care Paris? You can date, kiss and do whoever you want!"
It's such a stupid argument, because she knows all this already and his anger is misplaced because they are nothing, rule break buddies at best and strangers at worst so why is he even putting on this show? Was he bored? Was Nora that unentertaining that he needed to argue with her to spice up his life?
"I'm honestly confused bro, why are you mad at Paris isn't Nora your girl? I had a chat with Wesley because I know they have history but what's your problem? Are you like a protective brother type or something? I've never seen you chatting with Paris."
That does make her laugh. She's had Ryder's dick in her hand so that's not quite an accurate depiction of their relationship but that's neither here nor there.
The raise of Ryder's brow reveals that he's having similar thoughts.
"Everyone needs to calm down and stop talking about Paris as if she's not here and very capable of talking for herself." She glares at them both, but mostly Ryder because he's the one being the stupidest at the moment.
"Well speak then, tell this newbie how unfamily like we are and how we've gone dow-"
She grabs the closest thing. Watching her wet bikini top fly in a perfect arch before landing on Ryder's shoulder with a moist slap.
He stares at the wet top and then back at her and the staring continues for a tense few seconds.
"I thought you didn't kiss and tell. Watch the next words out of your mouth or I'll shut it for you." She threatens easily the words like whips on her tongue.
"Did you just throw your bra at me?"
"If you keep talking about me like that it won't be the only thing I'll be throwing." She snipes back not backing down even when he looms closer into her space.
"I think everyone needs to calm down."
"This is all Paris' fault honestly, if she would stop being a drama queen and just focus on one guy this all wouldn't be happening! Ryder and I were be such a great couple if she would stop butting in!"
Cassia comes to her defense like a bat out of hell, "You're really blaming Paris right now? All she did was go on a date and kiss a cute boy, for free might I add! Paris didn't tell Ryder to go into a jealous rage over her. And focus on one guy, that's funny coming from you Nora. " The fiesty blonde steps right into the fray, her closest friend here for a reason, they always had each other's backs. Oh, if only she were a lesbian.
"Jealous? Me? I'm not jealous! I'm just.... it's just that...ugh! I can't be here anymore." Ryder stomps out and Nora isn't far behind, following him even when he brushes her hand aside. Zayn watches on looking distraught but once again does nothing besides slinking off to the pool.
"Alright everyone the show is over. Paris let's go." Cassia grabs her hand pulling her away as Elena sandwiches her on the other side, her big brown eyes wide with sympathy.
And she follows declining Kai's offer for a quick chat. She's in no mood.
"You said you hated getting your braids wet because they get so heavy."
She wishes she were invisible. But she came on a Netflix reality show so she's the only one to blame for the direction of her life.
"If you're here to fight I'm not interested. I plan to float here until everyone falls asleep."
"Paris. I was crazy. I....yeah I didn't come to keep arguing with you."
The stars are gorgeous in the inky night sky, she understands why people have spent whole centuries studying them and trying to understand how something could be so bright and so far out of reach.
"Ryder. I don't know why you acted that way today but I don't want to. It's better if I don't know and honestly I don't think you even know so let's just forget it. Nora's probably waiting for you so you can just go, we're cool."
And it's silent, she can hear the waves crashing in the distance.
He left.
Like she told herself she wanted. Like everyone eventually does.
So she just keeps floating because there has never been a moment in her life that she hasn't been in limbo, floating aimlessly.
"Stop thinking you fucking know everything."
She hears him wading through the water to get to her and then latching onto her leg when he reaches her, tugging her easily through the cool water surrounding them.
He pulls her until they're face to face, him standing in the pool in his.....pajamas and her laying on her back suspended by water.
"Why did you have to say yes, and kiss him? Can't you see what you're doing to me?"
Her tongue is heavy in her mouth.
"I'm not doing anything to you. We aren't like that. We had some fun and now that's over and we'll have more fun with other people."
"Says who? Who said we're done having fun? Who said I'm done with you?" He snaps back, his grip on her tightening as his dark stare burns right through her.
"Is that is? Are you mad that I broke a rule with Kai and not you? I thought you got what you wanted and you were moving on, but is that it? Do you wanna fuck me?"
That has to be it. He wants to be the first to conquer her and that eases the tension in her chest, that she understands. That she can handle. Fucking is easy.
"Paris."
She doesn't get a chance to respond before he's pulling her actually manhandling her until she's standing too and they're chest to chest, she's dizzy from the sudden movement and rush of blood to her head, so she instinctively leans on him to get her bearing.
"Don't play with me." His hands are firm on her shoulder and she shivers as his left hand sweeps up her collarbone, caressing the cool skin with hot fingertips before he grips her neck with that huge hand that had made her fall apart just days ago.
His eyes are like lasers on her skin scanning her face closely. Too closely. She feels naked.
"You're so fucking beautiful." He almost spits at her, she can feel his anger. She's never received such a hard edged compliment.
"These lush lips, those adorable freckles, these lovely green eyes- never seen prettier eyes in my life. How are you real?"
"Are you drunk? You already know I'm pretty, this isn't news. You don't need to wax poetry to get into my pants either."
He presses a single finger against her lips, effectively shutting her up.
"Hush. I'm not trying to get into your pants."
Okay. But only because she wasn't wearing any. Right?
"I know what you're thinking. That's not what I meant either."
So what did he mean? She couldn't afford to know, not now. She wasn't cut out for this, and neither was he this would be a huge mistake if she let it happen.
"Ry, can you just....not?"
"Are you using my nickname against me now? That's a low blow innit?"
It was, only his niece called him that because she couldn't say his full name. He had shared that on the fourth day when she caught him feeling homesick and pretended not to see him cry.
She tries to pull away a bit frantically but he's stronger than her without even trying, his muscles barely flexing as he restrains her.
"What are you so scared of? I just want to tell you what I've been feeling!" He almost shouts at her, barely containing himself
She scoffs loudly in retaliation, "And we agreed we wouldn't do things like that. You can't do this to me, it's fine when everyone else acts like I'm defective and a horrible heartless bitch. But not you. You're supposed to understand me, you're just like me. So please just.....stop."
"Paris, are you serious?" His final plea.
She is. She knows herself and just like everyone who came before Ryder will realize that she's not worth it, that she'll never change. Right how her behavior is fun, and sexy but soon it won't be the case anymore and then where will they be? She'd rather avoid all that.
"I'm going inside. Goodnight Ry."
He lets her go, tired of fighting her.
And she leaves and she doesn't look back, there's nothing there for her.
But really Ryder doesn't listen, he says everything anyway. But only Lana hears his confession.
"I know what I said. I know I said this wasn't serious. I know I kissed Nora after I did all of those things with you. After touching you I thought I was going to lose my mind and I wanted-no needed to see if it would be like that with someone else. It wasn't. She's nothing like you. And I know I shouldn't have been jealous, what right do I have? Kai did what I was too chicken shit to do. I'm not mad at you or him. I'm mad at myself. I should have said all of this earlier, it was so easy to open up with you. I've never done that with anyone else. I was scared of what that meant. I'm still scared, fucking terrified but not enough to let someone else have you. No. I c...I care about you too much. I want to try with you, only you. You make it seem worth it, Paris."
There's no reply, unless you count the waves that keep crashing in the distance and Lana, the only one to hear these elusive words whispered in the dead of night, almost too dark to see until there's a green glow that lights up his chest and face.
His watch is green.
But he's all alone.