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Sometimes he just needed to get away, return to the forest undisturbed by men. There was a comfort here that could not be found within burhs or cities. While Sihtric had found a lord and subsequent home in Coccham he still yearned for the peacefulness of the forest. It was easy to slip away, he had learned from a young age how to move without being seen, he was a shadow walker, a ghost in the night, no one saw him leave in the evening just as the sun was setting. He did not take his horse, but set out on foot, for he wanted to be completely alone. As Sihtric wandered amidst the trees his thoughts turned to lord Uhtred. All his life he had wanted to serve someone like Uhtred, he had sworn oaths to serve him in life and death. He was happy to be one of Uhtred’s warriors yet there was still something gnawing inside of him that would not let him feel content. Sihtric knew he shouldn’t complain, compared to his early life, what he had with Uhtred was as good as Valhalla, but still he felt like something was missing, he wanted more, though what exactly it was he wanted was unclear. It was why he had chosen to slip away to the forest, he was tired of feeling lost in the day, he needed to try and figure out what exactly it was he wanted.He thought back to the past few weeks of training with Uhtred and Finan, of how good it felt being at their sides. Sihtric had been suspicious of Finan at first, worried that Uhtred relied on him too much, it was in his nature to be weary of strangers. But his fears were quickly extinguished, replaced with a familiarity and comfort he had only ever felt with Uhtred. The three of them had learned to work as a unit, they shared a bond, but Sihtric still felt as though he were living life in the shadows.There was no need to light a fire, summer had not yet ended and even it had Sihtric knew he would have been able to stand the cold. Some of the places that he had slept in in Dunholm to avoid people had been freezing, yet he had endured it. Moonlight cut through the branches of the trees in ways that most people would have felt weary of, thinking it a place for ghosts. Sihtric did not fear this night though, as he was being a ghost himself. He found a small clearing covered in moss and decided to lie down. He wondered if Uhtred and Finan had noticed his absence, he doubted it, they had each other to give comfort to, what could they possibly want from him. With that thought he suddenly understood the feelings Uhtred and Finan brought out in him, and why he felt so restless in Coccham, Gods how could he have been so blind to it. He didn’t know if he should feel relief or despair, he decided to wait until morning before making any resolutions, perhaps he would be granted wisdom while he slept to help him determine a course of action. His last thoughts before he drifted off to sleep were of Uhtred and Finan, and the happiness they brought to his life.Sihtric awoke right at dawn to all the different morning birds’ songs. As he sat up, he felt as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The sun was not fully up yet everything seemed brighter and clearer to Sihtric as he got up to relieve himself. He still didn’t know what he would do about Uhtred and Finan but at the moment it didn’t seem to matter, he merely felt content in knowing what it was he felt. He moved back to where he had slept, retrieving his axe and cloak, he would slip back into Coccham without anyone knowing he was gone.“Sihtric” a familiar voice called quietly.Startled Sihtric instantly turned around to see Uhtred standing a few feet away.
“Lord” Sihtric stammered. He had forgotten that Uhtred was also a shadow-walker. The confidence he had felt upon awakening instantly vanished. He took in the sight of Uhtred, he looked exhausted as though he had been up all night, running or fighting. For a moment Sihtric feared something bad had happened in Coccham but realized Uhtred wouldn’t be so calm. They stayed staring at one another in silence until Uhtred quickly moved towards him, throwing his arms around Sihtric, pulling him close.“We’ve been looking for you all night” Uhtred rasped.“We” Sihtric asked, shocked at the worry in Uhtred’s voice.“Finan and me, we searched all of Coccham for you. We feared something had happened to you.”“I’m sorry lord” Sihtric said voice quavering.“Why were you out here all alone” Uhtred asked putting some space between them. Sihtric instantly missed the contact.“I just needed to get away” was all Sihtric could think to say.“Get away? Are not happy in Coccham? Do you regret your oaths to me, if so, I will release you from them.”“No!” Sihtric instantly blurted, Gods had his absence really put all these doubts into Uhtred’s head. “I love it in Coccham. I love being at yours and Finan’s side, I would never willing leave either of you.” Before Uhtred could point out how Sihtric had done just that he continued. “I’ve been alone for most of life, you and Finan give me strength and comfort, but there are times where I’m with you and feel lost, like I’m living life in the shadows, and I don’t want that anymore.”“So, what do you want Sihtric? Tell me and I will do all I can to grant it to you.”Sihtric opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it. His voice failed him, he couldn’t think of what to say, but he knew what he wanted, and this might be his only chance at it, and so could not let it pass. Quickly he took a step towards Uhtred and leaned in to kiss him. It was not a chaste kiss, Sihtric was done being shy, he wanted Uhtred so bad it burned, but after several seconds he realized that Uhtred wasn’t kissing him back but was standing completely frozen. Sihtric pulled back head hung low, so he didn’t have to look his lord in the eye. They stood in silence and Sihtric knew any moment Uhtred would get angry with him, he wanted to cry, he felt his body shutter and did his best to control himself.“Sihtric” Uhtred called quietly. “Hey Sitty, come on, look at me.” Uhtred using his pet name sent another shiver through his body but he looked up, and was completely taken aback at what he saw. Uhtred was smiling at him trying to blink back tears. “Am I really what you want” Uhtred asked, Sihtric’s heart quickened when he heard the joy in Uhtred’s voice.“Yes lord.”“If you want me then say my name” Uhtred instructed softly.“I want you Uhtred” Sihtric replied. “I want you and Finan.” Gods did that feel good to say out loud. Uhtred instantly grabbed hold of Sihtric and pulled him in for a heated kiss. Sihtric responded with the same desperate energy, opening his mouth for Uhtred, moaning deeply as he felt Uhtred’s tongue exploring his mouth. When they separated, they were both panting hard, trying to catch their breath. Uhtred brought his forehead to Sihtric’s, they were both grinning, Sihtric had never felt so happy before. Then Sihtric heard a branch snap and felt a surge of panic go through his bod, causing him to jump back.“Oh, here I am worrying my arse off, fearing something happened to him, and here you are keeping the boy to yourself” Finan accused grumpily.“I was about to go find you” Uhtred said defensively.“The hell you were.” Finan was always grumpy in the morning, especially when he had little sleep. “And what are ye both grinning for, you think it’s funny.”Sihtric and Uhtred exchanged knowing looks. “Go on” Uhtred encouraged Sihtric in Danish.“Are you sure” Sihtric whispered in Danish. Finan was ranting about how worried he’d been, occasionally throwing in what Sihtric assumed were curses in Irish.“Definitely.”Without giving it further thought Sihtric rushed up and launched himself at Finan, who nearly lost his footing as Sihtric pressed his lips against his. Sihtric was all energy and little technique, but he eventually roused Finan from his shock and got him to start kissing him back. Sihtric moaned in pleasure from the feeling coarse hair scratching against his skin, but Finan must have interpreted the noise as something else for suddenly he was pulling away.“Sihtric?” Finan asked uncertainly, he opened his mouth to say more but quickly closed it.“I’m impressed” Uhtred chuckled from behind them, “I usually have to do a lot more than just kiss him to render him speechless.” Sihtric couldn’t help but smile at the praise.“Alright what’s going on” Finan asked, finding his voice. “Sitty what’s gotten into ya?”“Did…did you not like it?” Sihtric asked as a wave of fear washed over him.What if Finan only liked Uhtred, would Uhtred not want him if Finan didn’t, he felt panic surging through his body. But then he felt someone rocking him gently, and realized it was Finan.“Hey Sitty, I’m sorry baby boy I didn’t mean to upset ya” Finan whispered soothingly holding Sihtric close. “Yes, I liked you kissing me, ye just surprised me, I didn’t think you’d want this.”“That’s why I came out here, to learn what I want” Sihtric replied softly.“And that’s me is it” Finan asked fondly.“And me” Uhtred called, causing Sihtric and Finan to both turn around. “Forgot about me, did you?”“Never lord” Sihtric blurted “I mean Uhtred” he amended remembering he could call Uhtred by his name now.“Way to ruin the moment” Finan grumbled.“You ruined our moment” Uhtred pointed out.Finan looked like he was going to argue but instead turned back to Sihtric. “Next time tell us where you’re going, we searched all night for ye.”Sihtric felt guilty for having caused them to worry, but at the same time he felt a surge of joy at knowing how much these two cared for him. “I’m sorry for worrying you both.”“That’s alright” Uhtred said slinging an arm around Sihtric’s waist. “I’m sure you’ll find some way to make it up to us” Uhtred purred in his ear.“After a nap” Finan interjected.“You nap, I’m fine” Uhtred protested.“You look like shit Uhtred” Finan said pulling him off Sihtric.Sihtric and Uhtred both whine at the loss of contact. Sihtric watched as Finan leaned in to give Uhtred a quick kiss, but right as he was pulling away Uhtred wrapped his arms around his neck, crashing their lips back together. Regardless of how tired Finan claimed to be he responds vigorously, Sihtric doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything as beautiful as these two men. Finan licks Uhtred’s lips as he pulls back.“We’ve waited this long for em, we can wait a little longer” Finan says breathing hard.“Don’t worry I’m not going anywhere, at least not without the two of you” Sihtric says softly. Finan and Uhtred both come over and embraced him, Sihtric has never felt so loved before, he knew that he would never feel lost amongst these two, will never have a reason to leave them like a ghost in the night again.