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His Name is Hiroshi

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At first, the only person I ever had in my life was my mother. When I was very young, my father walked out on us and never came back. I never had a father figure, meaning that my mother had to raise me by herself. It was not easy for us, but we managed. Yet, despite how my mother was there for me and I was there for her, I still felt alone.This changed when I started school. During my first day, I met him. I still remember it. He even introduced himself to me. His name was Hiroshi, so I told him my name is Eriko. On that day, we became friends and began to learn about each other. When I told him only my mother cared for me, he revealed only his father cared for him; we both had a parent abandon us. Immediately, I felt a connection knowing the same backgrounds we shared. We made each other feel happy when we were together.As time passed, it was not just us two. First there was Kai. Then Kensaku. Then Morio. Then the triplets Juri, Yuri, and Ruri. Hiroshi served as our team leader, and we all aspired to be like him. He was smart, and who else would not want to be? Whatever he said, we would often agree with, and if he wanted us to do something, we would do it.He even gave us our own nicknames. He became Alpha, while I was Delta, Kai Beta, Kensaku Gamma, Morio Epsilon, and the triplets Juri, Yuri, and Ruri were Zeta, Eta, and Theta, respectively. These names he gave us all made us feel unique. It made me feel as though he cared for us.Then came our teenage years, and that was when Alpha encouraged us to be against those who were not straight. Gay, bi, trans, pan – if you were not straight and/or did not believe you were born with the right gender, we made our words clear. In fact, it was more than just words we used against others. We were not afraid to use aggression, which was decided by none other than Alpha himself. Our actions were extreme, but we were convinced we were justified.For senior high, we all chose to study at APE Institute. We all soon learned that the principal, Mr. Itsuki Asaka, had actually corrupted it when he joined it many years prior. It was hardly a secret amongst students, but Asaka and the six other teachers he got to side with him would stamp out anyone who tried to expose the truth. There would be expulsions for false reasons and complete coverups, so everyone lived in fear of the place. Even teachers were fired for false reasons.We, on the other hand, used this to our advantage. As the school covered up any wrongdoing from students and teachers, our group of friends that Alpha formed could get away with our anti-LGBT actions. We would even snitch on students who tried to uncover the truth about APE, while also snitching on any teachers who we believed were subpar to begin with.During our second year, Alpha’s younger cousin Hana began studying at APE. She was better known as Zero Two, but amongst our group of friends, we called her Iota. She initially joined our group, with Alpha naming her Iota. Later, he would give our group a name – the Nines. After all, there was nine of us, so it made sense.It was not long after she joined that she soon left, as she found out the truth about what we would do. Disgusted by it, even going so far as to call out Alpha and state she wanted nothing to do with him anymore, she walked away and never came back. We proceeded to tease her long after that, calling her Iota and nothing else to remind her how she was related to Alpha by blood.It was during her second year when she ended up being expelled. Normally, she was a troublemaker, but after seeing Mari Yamanaka getting attacked by one of the corrupt teachers, she offered to help her. APE, however, covered it up, claiming that the two had a fight. Myself, nor the rest of the Nines, could not have cared less about their expulsion; anyone who involuntarily left APE and alleged misconduct were perceived as mad. Ms. Nana Yamamoto, who once served as APE’s school nurse, even tried to go public with the truth about the corruption months before, but was fired and threatened with legal action. Her words divided the public, but there was no consensus.It was a few weeks after Zero Two and Mari were expelled when the police came to APE. As it turned out, one of the corrupt teachers – the geography teacher Mr. Dai Rokuda – was not just in possession of kiddie porn, but it was on the school’s servers. As the police gathered the evidence, they discovered documents that proved APE had been corrupt. From there, everything spiralled for APE, with the corrupt teachers replaced and new management coming in.It was in that time when myself and the Nines learned that Mari’s brother Josh, as well as his friend Shunsuke, had had enough of the corruption. As it turned out, until the scandal hit, they were going to gather evidence about the corruption and post it online. We were kept in the dark, as they knew we would snitch on them and prevent the truth from being told. Ironically, the truth coming out by itself put an end to their plans.Even with the truth out, we continued our bullying of the LGBT students, but close to three months after the corrupt staff were placed on trial, we were expelled. Our actions had caught up with us, and all of our respective parents were furious. We remained in contact with each other, and knowing how, if we continued our bullying and harassment at the schools we were relocated to, it would certainly affect our future prospects.So, we all decided to turn over a new leaf. The Nines were largely split up, with Beta and Gamma going to one school, Epsilon another, and the triplets at Bird Nest High, where Mari went to. Myself and Alpha relocated to Franxx Academy, where Zero Two was. She had not just befriended a person she had once met many years ago, but his friends as well, naming their group Squad 13. Alpha teased her, as he usually did, but our aim was to improve ourselves.No sooner had we began our studies there, we noticed the staff were not completely up to scratch. There were various teachers we took issue with, but the two worst offenders were Ms. Nana Matsumoto, a maths teacher, and Mr. Jasper Warrington, the head of the English department. Matsumoto would go about handling the mischievous students in her class very poorly, always avoiding the obvious solution to the problem, while Warrington was clearly mentally unstable. Logic and reason were chucked out the window entirely in these cases, so we opted to speak to the principal and founder of Franxx, Werner Frank, about our concerns. We believed he would listen to us, as he knew Alpha and Zero Two’s family personally.Sadly, this was not the case. He did nothing but defend his teachers. He never saw it our way. Irritated and wanting justice, Alpha and I worked on a blog that was inspired by the proposed one Josh, Shunsuke, and their ‘rebellion’ wished to create. It was made public late that evening, detailing the school, where it was, and who the guilty teachers were. Principal Frank may have forced our hand, but it felt necessary to do.The following morning, we were called down to Principal Frank’s office. He was perfectly aware of the blog, scolding us for our actions and questioning us on if we knew the consequences of our actions. It prompted him to tell us a story about a time a former teacher was imprisoned for alleged misconduct, only to kill themselves behind bars. After this, the students who alleged they were harmed confessed out of guilt that they lied in the first place. While we may have told the truth – from our perspective, at least – we never considered the possibility a similar thing could occur as a repercussion of our blog.Our new leaf had most certainly not got off to a good start.If that was not surprising enough, what I personally learned the next day really did catch me off guard. During lunch break, I saw Alpha visiting Franxx’s LGBTQ+ Club, which was managed by two of Zero Two’s friends from Squad 13, Ikuno and Naomi. The fact he was there was not the most surprising part; it was when he revealed he was actually bisexual. As it turned out, he always had been, but was so afraid of who he truly was, that he hid behind the identity of a person who was anti-LGBT rights.Despite my confusion, I forgave him for misleading myself and the rest of the Nines. Looking back now, I guess I always knew there was something different about him. Plus, considering we were supposed to be changing our ways and becoming better people, I was more than willing to forgive him to help us move on.On the other hand, Zero Two was fuming to discover the truth, even going so far as to telling Alpha that he deserved whatever his father would tell him when he would later be told.It was after this that the ramifications of the blog we had created became apparent. While there were never any teachers who took their own lives, the turmoil that followed was almost no different than what happened when APE’s corruption was publicly confirmed. Student misbehaviour increased considerably, even towards teachers who we did not name and shame.By all accounts, there was one student who tried messing around in one of Mr. Kato’s PE lessons. They believed we had named him on our blog, something they learned was not the case when Mr. Kato quickly stamped out their misbehaviour. If anything, attempting such behaviour around him was like poking a lion with a stick. Heck, myself and Alpha actually thought very highly of him, hence why we never mentioned him on our blog.Then there was Ms. Matsumoto. The antics of our class became so bad that she even left the classroom in tears. If it was not for the head of the maths department intervening, telling her to cool off, Alpha and I believe she was going to say something that could have been problematic. We could tell she had a grudge against us because of the blog, and we felt guilty because of it.And then there was Mr. Warrington. As it turned out, Principal Frank was already going to have human resources investigate her after we expressed our initial concerns, but our blog accelerated things. In the end, human resources decided that it was time for Mr. Warrington to leave, and he was very shortly replaced. The details surrounding this were never revealed, nor did Principal Frank tell Alpha’s family anything explicit. Our guess is our words were accurate about his mentality, but whether or not he entered retirement or went to a psychiatric hospital is up in the air.

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A week after Mr. Warrington was replaced, myself and the rest of the Nines had planned to meet up for coffee at Nawabari Park the following Sunday morning. When I arrived at the park, I found that Beta was already there, and shortly after we were met by Gamma, then Epsilon, and then Zeta, Eta, and Theta.We did not wait for each other; as we were meeting at the small café at the park, we all immediately started ordering our drinks. We did not all drink coffee, but rather any hot beverage we preferred. Personally, I drank a mocha, and we all sat on two of the wooden picnic benches outside the stone brick café. They were so close together they effectively made a long table.“You know, it’s odd,” Beta suddenly spoke.“How Alpha hasn’t shown up yet?” Zeta asked him, soon drinking from her cardboard cup.“Exactly,” he nodded. “Normally, he’s one of the first people to show up, or he is the first.”“Yeah, that is a bit odd,” Eta noted.“That doesn’t mean anything, though,” Gamma replied. “Could just be running late.”“Has anyone tried texting him?” Epsilon then enquired.“Well, he still said he was up for coming here. He said so in the chat last night.” Theta then sipped from her cup after talking. “Heck, didn’t he say it would be here where we’d meet?”Beta nodded and then looked at me. “Try contacting him, Delta. See if he’s running late.”I pulled my mobile phone out of my pocket and texted him.Alpha, we’re all at Nawabari Park. Are you running late? :Nine_DeltaI continued staring at my phone’s screen, awaiting his response. His picture had a green ring around it, signifying he was online, so it seemed inevitable he would say something back. I did receive a response not long after that, although almost a minute had passed after I sent my message. However, the response was not directly sent to myself.It was sent to the group chat.The rest of the Nines noticed this when their phones chimed, indicating they had received Alpha’s response. They all pulled their phones out of their pockets and opened the message as I opened it myself. I had read his message before they all had, but I was surprised by what he had to say.Nine_Alpha: I’ve got a bit of a confession to make. The truth is I’m actually bisexual. All these years, I did that anti-LGBT stuff because I was so afraid of that sort of thing happening to me. Sorry, I’ve got to go. Speak with Delta – she’ll confirm it’s true.There was nothing but a stunned silence on the two benches. I could not believe Alpha had suddenly chosen to come out to the rest of his friends, simply because I thought it would be a little while longer before he did.“Delta.” Beta slowly faced me, his eyes wide. “Is… is this true?”“Yeah,” I gently nodded and spoke. “I was one of the first people he told. I think I was one of the only people he’s told so far.”“Who else has he told?” Eta asked.“He first told two of Zero Two’s friends, Ikuno and Naomi, who are in charge of Franxx’s LGBTQ+ Club, as well as the rest of her friends.”The rest of the Nines all just stared at one another, clearly shocked by the discovery. It was clear they were having difficulty understanding what they had just been told.“So, all this time, he’s been bi?” I could trace a hint of anger in Gamma’s tone. “All. This. Time.”“As I said, it’s true,” I reiterated. “But I don’t get why he’s suddenly blurted it out.”“Who cares why!” Epsilon made large gestures with his hands, representing his frustration. “Alpha lied to us. All these years, he’s been one of the things he made us gang up on.”“But we are changing our ways anyway,” I pointed out. “We should move on from how—”“Of course we’re changing our ways!” Beta exploded at me. He seemed the angriest out of our group. “But he still lied. It’s because of him we got expelled from APE. It’s because of him we’ve bullied innocent people, even going so far as to physically harming them. He made us believe we should have been against a community he was actually a part of.”“To think we all looked up to him,” Zeta remarked, her fury surprisingly calm. “We all wanted to be as smart as him. We believed that doing whatever he did would help us achieve that.”“We were gullible,” Theta noted. “We all were.”“What are we going to do now?” Eta asked.“We can only accept it and move on,” I told them. “It wasn’t easy for Alpha to tell the truth in the first place. Look, put yourself in his shoes. He—”“Forget what he thinks!” Beta raised his voice again, this time louder than before. “He took advantage of us. We may have been his friends, even before he made us do all that bullying, but this is too far. This is too far for him. He’s crossed a line.”He proceeded to pull his phone out, as did the rest of the Nines.“What are you doing?” I nervously asked him.“Giving him a piece of my mind,” Beta growled. “I think everyone else is, too.”“Yep,” Theta quietly stated.I looked at the group chat, where the Nines proceeded to message Alpha. I will not reiterate their words to him, but all I will say is the words they chose were far from kind. They most certainly were words brought on by anger.We all soon left Nawabari Park and went about our own tasks. In that time, I decided to send a text to Alpha, hoping that he would eventually elaborate on why he suddenly came out to the rest of the Nines. A few hours passed, and no response came. Normally, he was fairly on the ball when it came to responding to texts, but he never messaged me back. His icon never even had a green ring around it, indicating he was offline.It was then that I decided I would try calling him. The first time I rang was around one in the afternoon, but he never picked up. I chose not to leave a message, so I rang again half an hour later.Like before, he never responded.I proceeded to ring him every half hour until almost three o’clock, when I properly knew something was not right. I already had a feeling in the back of my head that this was the case when he abruptly messaged us, but this cemented my concerns. The only choice I had was to go to his house and see if he was there.I made my way to his home, which he shared with his father Mr. Satoru Watanabe. It was a moderately sized semidetached house, which myself and the rest of the Nines had visited numerous times before. I walked up to the front door, walking on the brick-built ground leading up to it from the pavement. I rang the doorbell, and after a few seconds of waiting, I was met by Satoru. He was taller than Alpha by a few inches, his black hair thin and short to the point that he was almost bald, and possessed a small moustache on his upper lip.“Oh.” He seemed taken back. “Eriko.” He seemed hesitant. “You’re after Hiroshi, aren’t you?”“Yes,” I nodded. “Is he home?”He gave a frustrated sigh. “I’m afraid to say that this house is no longer his home.”I was puzzled. What did he mean by that?“Sorry?” I almost cocked an eyebrow.“Alpha is no longer my son. Not anymore.”I could feel my eyes widen. I never expected to hear those words.“You’ve disowned him?”“Allow me to explain,” he begun. “You may want to prepare yourself for this. I received a phone call earlier this morning from a friend at the college.” His job was a tutor at a local college. “They told me that their son had seen Hiroshi going into the club for the LGBT students at Franxx. Neither my friend or their son knew the reason why he was there, so I asked him this morning. He told me that he is actually bisexual.”“I know,” I nodded back.“You knew?” He was shocked by my response.“When he first went there a few weeks ago, I saw him and asked why he was there. He then came out to me.”Satoru seemed to hesitate again. He was trying to comprehend what I said.“After learning the truth, I was furious. Due to all the shame that he’s brought this family, I chose to disown him.”“But I thought you were supportive of the LGBT community,” I enquired.“I am,” he nodded. “But knowing how he channeled his frustration into being someone he was not, hurting people along the way, in addition to the troublesome blog that you both worked on, and him bullying Hana all these years, I could no longer tolerate what he’s done.”I was shocked by his decision. Normally, Satoru was a humble man, always caring for his family and friends. Yet, there I was, having to listen to him explaining why he forced Alpha to leave home.“I’m sorry he’s misled you all these years,” Satoru told me.“No, it’s fine,” I replied. “It’s just that he texted the rest of the Nines this morning, where he suddenly told the truth to everyone else.”“He probably did that while in preparation to leave or after he left.”“I can’t seem to get a hold of him. I’ve tried texting him, even going so far as to ringing him. I haven’t tried leaving a message, but he’s normally prompt with his responses.”“It’s likely that he may have moved in with Hana, Tomi, and Ikumi. Try consulting them.”“Do you have their address?”As soon as I received Zero Two's address, I immediately made my way to where she lived. It was easy to locate her home using my phone, and after a walk that almost lasted half an hour, I soon found her home.I walked up the short path to the front door, and once I was standing in front of it, I rang the doorbell. I was nothing but anxious - was Alpha going to be there? Was he going to be the one answering the door? Horrid thoughts plagued my mind that things were not going to be simple for me.The door was soon opened, but it was not Alpha who greeted me. It was Zero Two, who was surprised to see me.“Delta?” Her eyes were wide.“Sorry to bother you,” I told her. “Is Alpha in?”“Why would he be here?” she asked me. “Wait, how did you get this address?”I explained to her everything that had already happened. If she did not already appear surprised, she certainly was after what I had to tell her.“So, Satoru just booted him out?” she repeated, so I nodded back. “And you haven't been able to hear back from him?”“I've heard nothing. Look, please help me look for him. I know you're not on good terms with him, but something isn't right about this.”“What's wrong?” I heard a voice call from in the back of the house. It was then that Zero Two and Alpha's aunt Ikumi appeared in the hallway and approached the front door. “This is Eriko, isn't?”“Yeah,” Zero Two nodded back. “She says that Alpha's got kicked out by Satoru and he's probably now missing.”“What?” Her shock was muted. “Satoru's thrown Hiroshi out? What for?”“He learned that he's actually bi,” I responded.“Bi? As in, bisexual?”“Yep. But it's not biphobia. He's just so disappointed in Alpha for letting his frustration with being bi make him do all that anti-LGBT stuff we used to do in the Nines.”“That, as well as the blog and how he bullied me,” Zero Two added.“What?!” Ikumi's tone, while still muted, was louder than before. “Sorry, I'm having difficulty processing this.”“You're not the only one who was shocked when we found out,” Zero Two told her. “We knew about this a few weeks ago when he was visiting the LGBTQ+ Club at Franxx.”Tomi, Zero Two and Alpha's uncle, was walking down the stairs in the hallway.“Tomi.” Ikumi faced him once he reached the ground floor. “You won't believe what—”“I heard,” he cut her off. “I heard everything. Look, this may be a surprise – and I absolutely mean that – but we have to find Hiroshi. I'll call the police.”“But don't you have to wait twenty-four hours?” I worriedly asked him. He shook his head.“If you've done all that you can to try and locate someone, you should contact the police as soon as you can.”“Could there be any other places he could be at?” Ikumi pondered.“Not that I can think of,” I replied, with Zero Two adding “same.”“Right,” Tomi nodded. “I'll contact the police, and then I'll contact Satoru to ask what the hell he was thinking.”

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Sticking to his word, Tomi contacted the police, who announced they would be making their way to the house to speak to us. As we waited for them to arrive, Tomi used the opportunity to phone Satoru, who he was furious with. Even with his own surprise at how Alpha was actually bisexual, he felt as though Satoru’s actions were too harsh. As it turned out, Satoru did not see it this way, believing his decision was justified.Not long after this phonecall had ended, the police arrived, being led by Officer Jona Ichido. He was a well-known member of the Cerasus Police Department, purely because of how he was considered the most competent officer on the force. He was also the father of Kokoro, one of Zero Two’s friends, who had recently – and unexpectedly – become a mother.He spoke to me first, as I was the one who had the most information. I told him about the texts Alpha sent, Satoru disowning him, as well as how my attempts to contact him proved fruitless. I even provided the contact details of the rest of the Nines when asked. Zero Two, Tomi, and Ikumi did not have much to say, simply because they had not been in contact with Alpha directly for a while. Zero Two had passed myself and Alpha in the corridors at Franxx since she learned of his sexuality, but the two never spoke to each other. Something both myself and Zero Two could tell was that Alpha was ashamed, while Zero Two was still furious with him.Officer Ichido and the other police left, with Tomi providing them with a recent photograph of Alpha to give them a visual basis on who to look for. At first, I thought speaking to the police would ease my worries, but it seemed to fuel them more. It was just a case of waiting to see what they had to say about Alpha’s whereabouts.At first, Monday went ahead like it normally would. I would wake up, get dressed, have breakfast, and then use the bathroom before leaving the house. The next bit was different; normally, I would meet up with Alpha on the way to Franxx, but he was not there. It had been years since I felt so alone. Granted, I was still with the rest of the Nines, but they did not go to Franxx with me, so I felt lonely in comparison to when Alpha was there. It felt so unusual for him not to be there, even if it was – at first – just a single day of absence.It was during morning break when I began to receive texts from the rest of the Nines. They were all telling me about how the police had been talking to them regarding Alpha’s absence. Even though they were surprised by Alpha’s disappearance, when I asked how they felt about it, they expressed no sympathy.None.At all.Gamma even said that he did not care if Alpha had thrown himself off of a bridge, something Eta agreed with.When the school day had ended, I left the school building via the entrance for the students, as I normally did. Once I had almost past the last stretch of the fence that covered of Franxx’s grounds, I heard someone call to me.“Delta!”I turned to see who the voice belonged to. Even before I turned to see them, I knew who it was. Zero Two was with the rest of Squad 13 – Goro, Ichigo, Zorome, Miku, Naomi, Ikuno, Kokoro, Mitsuru, Futoshi, and Hiro. I had already assumed that Zero Two had informed the rest of her friends the previous day about Alpha’s disappearance. I stopped walking, as they did too, and we talked to one another.“Look… we know you’re worried about Alpha. We just want you to know that we’ll be here for you while Alpha’s not here.”“Yeah,” Zorome nodded. “You can be, like, an honorary member of our gang if you want.”“Thank you,” I responded quietly. “But I’ll be fine. I’m confident that the police will be able to find him. After all, I heard that Kokoro’s father is the one in charge of the search.”“We’re all confident that he’ll show up at some point,” Ikuno gently noted. “But that doesn’t mean you won’t be stressing out about this.”“Honestly, I’m fine,” I insisted, but it was all one lie. I even smiled to hide my mental pain.“Are you sure?” Kokoro asked me. “You may be with the rest of the Nines, but when you’re here at Franxx, they’re not here with you.”“It’s alright,” I nodded. “In fact, I’m going to be seeing the Nines at Nawabari Park.”“Didn’t you see them there yesterday?” Hiro enquired.“It’s our gathering spot,” I told him. “You guys tend to go to Jian, but the Nines often go to Nawabari.”“Okay,” Ichigo nodded. “But we’re still here for you when you’re at Franxx.”“I understand,” I nodded, beginning to feel agitated. “But I’m fine.”After this exchange, I continued my journey to Nawabari Park. The distance between Franxx and Nawabari was almost a mile, but the distance to my home was close to two. The walk lasted twenty minutes, but once I was within the park, I still had to venture within the fence that surrounded it to find the rest of my friends. We were going to congregate not far from the café we visited the previous day, under the shade of a large oak tree which was one of many in a row.I had barely waited a minute before the rest of our group showed up, the only face that was missing being none other than Alpha. The Nines were all wearing their APE uniforms, which consisted of shirts, blazers, and trousers that were all white.“Right,” Beta nodded. “We’re all here. I assume you received our texts earlier on, Delta?”“I did. Have the police said anything new about Alpha?”“They were only simple interviews,” Gamma reminded me. “The police only wanted to know if we knew anything about his disappearance. From what I gather, we all said the same thing that we don’t know anything.”“That, and we were vocal about our distaste with his actions,” Eta noted. “That reminds me – Beta, we’ll need to keep Delta in the loop now.”“Keep me in the loop?” I had no idea what she was referring to. “What for?”“There are things we haven’t discussed with you,” Epsilon faced me. “It’s best Beta does that.”“Indeed,” he nodded. “After all, Alpha told me to take charge in his absence, and… well, he’s not here. During that time, I set up a new chatgroup for the Nines.”“A new chatgroup?” I was shocked. “I haven’t received any notifications about it.”“That’s because we kept you out of the loop. I set it up after yesterday’s gathering while you were trying to find Alpha. In that time, we discussed the future of the Nines and what we should be doing next. We reached our verdict during lunch break, something that we all agreed on.”“What is it?” I enquired, trying to figure out what he was referring to.“We’ve concluded that it is best that the Nines dissolve.”I was almost about to speak again when I completely froze hearing those words being spoken. Had I heard them correctly? Did he just say what I thought he said? I had to double check.“Did… did you just say you were going to dissolve the Nines?”“That is precisely what I said,” he confirmed. “Everything that Alpha set up for us is to be torn down. Our nicknames, even the name of our group – they will be no more after this gathering.”“He misled us,” Zeta reminded me. “He made us harass and harm a community that he was actually a part of. His ideals and actions, the very things he made us believe we should do – he used us for his own frustrations about himself.”“But he did care for us,” I reminded her, let alone the rest of my friends. “Long before he started making us do that.”“He knew we all looked up to him.” Beta walked up to me. “He took advantage of that. He may have cared, but he crossed a line. That is why, after the Nines have been dissolved today, I will be rebuilding the foundation he set up before he changed. Other than our nicknames and the name of our group – both of which will not exist whatsoever – there will be one additional change.”“W-What’s that?” I asked worriedly. There was a long pause before I received a response.“You won’t be with us.”That was when everything seemed to freeze. A chill swept over me, while my heart sunk so far into my chest it almost felt as though it would fall into the void. That void was the same one created by my father when he left myself and my mother.“You still defend Alpha, even after this discovery. We want nothing to do with him.”“But he’s missing!” I begged. “Aren’t you the least bit concerned where he could be?”“He could’ve thrown himself off a bridge for all we care,” Gamma told me, reiterating his text message he sent me earlier. “It’s all his own fault he got kicked out by his dad.”“He’s the one who brought us all together,” I reminded them. “And this is how you—”I never even finished my sentence, as Beta sharply punched me in the stomach. The impact was so hard and painful, I had to lie on the grass beneath me with my arms wrapped around my stomach.“We want nothing to do with him!” Beta yelled at me. “He is nothing to us, and so are you!”He then stamped on my back, the rest of the Nines looking on as if what he did never happened. “Keep the hell away from us,” he told me through gritted teeth. “We want nothing to do with you or him.”He kicked me in the back, making me wince and almost scream.“You were always naïve,” Eta told me. “Thinking there was good in the world. Then there are people like him. He manipulated us, just like Mr. Asaka did. Hiroshi did nothing but defend you. We all hate your naivety, but he insisted you stayed with us. He actually liked your innocence. Now that he’s gone and the truth is out, you will never be one of our gang.”“Let’s hope he’s dead like Mr. Asaka is,” Gamma spoke in a low tone. “They both had it coming.”Beta calmed himself down and brushed his fingers through his turquoise hair.“We’re done here. As we all know, we’re no longer the Nines, and for fuck’s sake, we’re not using those stupid nicknames anymore.”“Understood,” Epsilon nodded. “Let’s leave.”They all walked off, leaving me in the shade of that tree. I was bruised and battered; my heart broken as I felt the same emptiness I had not experienced for so long. The Nines were no more, the foundation that Alpha set up for us gone in an instant.Even with the rest of my former friends no longer in Nawabari Park, I remained in that foetal position for several minutes. I could not cope with everything that was happening, shrinking in on myself to prevent myself from breaking down. Was I in denial? Most certainly, but I was going to make a move and head home when I was ready. In that time, no one approached me to see how I was, nor was I saved from the beating.

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The next school day soon rolled around, where I would find myself studying at Franxx by myself. For Alpha to be absent with an explanation was one thing, but without was another situation entirely. There were so many questions running through my head – where was he? What is he doing? Is he still alive? Are the police close to finding him? Not a second went by where my mind never thought about him. I had to know where he was, but the answers were not materialising.At first, I kept to myself. I believed I was going to cope, purely because I did not share every lesson with Alpha, but his disappearance was the fuel for the fire that was my anxiety. I pushed on, hiding behind my usual cheerful exterior, but this was currently a mask for my true feelings.It was the day after that when I broke. I was making my way home when I found that I could no longer hide behind a smile. Even with my optimism that Alpha would suddenly appear one day and the whole ordeal would be over, I still did not know where he was. My worries caught up with me, my tears escaping, so I hid myself down a hidden path that I had visited once before a long time ago. It would take me to a secret path with cherry blossoms, their beauty shielded by the secrecy of their location. It was there that I cried as much as I could to allow the grief to finally escape.I must have been crying for perhaps a minute when I was discovered. The people who discovered me? It was Zero Two, who was with Hiro. As it turned out, she knew about the secret area for many years, something she had shown Hiro. They did not even need to remind me of their offer of hospitality, as I straight up asked them if I could temporarily join their team.After that, I felt better. Not by much, but it was something. With Alpha missing and the both of us exiled from our own social circle, the friends Zero Two had made provided the much-needed comfort I sought. It was nice to be friends with people that were new to me; it was completely refreshing. Zero Two also revealed that she was friends with Mari, who is effectively an honorary member of Squad 13 as well.During my time at school on the Friday, Zero Two told me I was welcome to visit her in her home during the weekend, something that Tomi and Ikumi had allowed. I never declined her offer, opting to visit on the Saturday. It felt strange walking up to her home again, as the last time I had done so was almost a week prior. Back then, it was with concern knowing Alpha had been disowned and was not retorting any of my messages, but now, I was seeking her companionship.I walked up to the front door and knocked upon it, the responder within being Zero Two herself.“Come on in,” she gently said. “Just thought I’d say – Satoru’s come by.”I froze as I was about to even set foot within the house.“Satoru?”“Yeah,” she nodded. “You’re not the only one bothered by Alpha’s disappearance.”She beckoned me in with a gesture, so I stepped in and removed my shoes. I followed her into the living room, where Satoru was seated on one of the sofas that were there. He sat on the sofa perched up to the opposite wall, while I seated myself on the one nearest. We directly faced each other, although he was looking out the front window of the house.“Would you like a drink?” a voice called. It was Ikumi, who poked her head out of the kitchen door.“Just water please,” I replied, hesitating before almost stuttering my words out. Zero Two sat beside me. There was a silence between us all, caused by nothing but the sadness of Alpha’s absence. This silence lasted for almost a minute, but was broken when Ikumi provided a mug of coffee for Satoru and my requested glass of water for myself.“You know, sitting around silently won’t help,” she told us. We all just glanced at her knowing how she had deduced our misery. It was then that the door to the hallway opened, with Tomi entering.“She’s got a point,” he noted.“Well, what is there to say?” I asked him. “Alpha’s missing, and we don’t know why. We haven’t heard anything from the police yet, and when we have, it’s been very little.”It was on Thursday when a single piece of critical information was disclosed, however, as Zero Two proceeded to note.“He’s not within Cerasus, we know that. The only question is where has he gone to. There are hundreds of places he could be.”“Not really,” Tomi told her. “We know he took a train somewhere.”“That doesn’t quite narrow things down.”“He had to have gotten off on one of the stops. It’s only a case of finding out which one.”“I should never have thrown him out.” Satoru was bitter, albeit towards himself. “I let my disappointment and frustration with him get the better of me. Even then, I should’ve made sure he moved in with you.” He faced Tomi. “I shouldn’t have blindly sent him on his way. It’s because of me that he’s missing. I’m convinced the police even suspected me of murder.”“Do we know that?” I asked him.“No,” he shook his head. “That’s why I said they suspected it.”“Well, you’re not the only one with regrets.” Zero Two slumped back on the sofa. “The last time I spoke to him, I said he deserved whatever you had to say to him. The being disowned and kicked out part didn’t bother me. What bothers me is how he’s just vanished.”“Words spoken in anger cannot be unspoken,” Tomi reminded her, although his subtle lecture was also directed at Satoru. “Look, you can wish that you never said those things, but whether or not Alpha returns home safely, you’re still going to have to live with what you told him.” He glanced at Satoru and quietly noted “especially you.”“Now, now.” Ikumi calmed him. “We’re all worried right now, so bickering isn’t going to help.”The phone suddenly rang, prompting Ikumi to make her way into the kitchen. She never shut the door, so we could overhear the conversation whether we wanted to or not.“Hello?... Yes, this is the Watanabe household. This is Ikumi speaking…”There was then a large pause. Ikumi’s tone, which was almost flat at first, suddenly became more enthused.“You’ve found him?”That was when all the occupants of the living room quickly shot glances at each other. Zero Two sharply sat up, while Satoru looked as though he was ready to leap up out of his seat. All the while, my heart started to beat quicker. I could feel it, and while there was excitement, there was still that tinge of worry within me.“Where was he?... So, that’s where he went to. What was he doing? … Okay… So, you’re going to collect him and then bring him here?... Alright. Thank you.”

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Ikumi returned to the living room, looking on at us with clear relief. She was a lot more tense than she appeared to be knowing Alpha was missing, but that tenseness was gone and she seemed reassured.“They’ve found him,” she told us. We all quickly shot looks at each other before facing her again. “Hiroshi was tracked to being in Verbena.”“What was he doing?” Tomi asked her. “How did they find him?”“He was in a homeless shelter and was in the process of trying to find work. He was faking his identity, so it was hard for him to get into a job. The Verbena police were tasked with locating him once it was found that he stopped there. They’re driving him back to Cerasus so the police here can drop him off.”“Thank god.” Satoru gave a sigh of relief. “Is he alright? Did they say anything of his health?”“They never said. I’m assuming he’s fine.”“He’s alive.” Zero Two’s words were subdued. “I genuinely thought he might’ve ended it, or worse.”“This whole thing reminded me of when you disappeared all those years ago,” Satoru told her. “We genuinely believed we’d never see you again.”“In fairness, I was gone for longer.”“And you hadn’t run away,” Tomi added. “You were probably abandoned.”“Wait.” Something dawned on me. I sharply stood up and walked up to where Ikumi was standing. “Did the police say why he ran away?”She shook her head and said “we’re going to have to ask him when he gets here.”“It’s because of me,” Satoru pointed out.“I think it’s more than that,” I replied.A short while after our exchange, Officer Ichido escorted Alpha to where we were. Tomi answered the door, to which the rest of us followed after him into the hallway. We saw Alpha standing beside Officer Ichido, wearing tattered clothes that I had never seen him wear before, consisting of jeans, trainers, and a hoodie. It was evident he had acquired them during his stay at the homeless shelter. Alpha, on the other hand, appeared almost sunken in on himself, a clear sign he was ashamed of his actions. Yet, at the same time, he also gave the impression he was in a state of shock from being caught. All the while, he carried a small suitcase which he had evidently taken with him.“Here he is, Mr. Watanabe,” Officer Ichido courteously told us. “Safe and sound. I’ll leave him here.”“Thank you, officer,” Tomi nodded. Officer Ichido left and Tomi shut the door, leaving us with the person who had caused us so much worry for almost a week. We all looked on at him, nearly all of us almost having tears in our eyes from the relief of knowing he was back home. None of us could find the words to break the silence; it was merely a case of waiting to see who would speak first.“Son.” Those words came from Satoru. He walked up to him and hugged him, an act that caught Alpha off guard. “I’m glad you’re safe.”“I thought you didn’t want me anymore.” He gently pushed himself out of the embrace, his state of shock remaining. “You even said I was no longer your son.”“I made a mistake,” Satoru confessed. “I let my frustration get the better of my common sense. I may have had every reason to be disappointed in you, but declaring you were no longer my son was a stupid decision. You can come back home.”There were almost tears in his eyes and he gave a small smile to his parent. Another silence followed, and like before, we were too afraid to speak knowing our emotions would overwhelm us.“Why didn’t you speak to me?!”The almost-screeching voice shattered the silence. Everyone in the hallway stared at the person whose yelling had startled them.The person who yelled was none other than myself.I may have been upset by Alpha’s disappearance, but the deep-down feeling that finally reached the surface was anger. In fact, right then was the only time when I had properly been angry with him, and I unleashed my fury at him.“Why didn’t you speak to any of us? I kept trying to text and phone you. You never told us anything when your dad threw you out. We’ve all been worried sick. I’ve been worried sick. You were almost gone for a week, and what do we find when the police locate you? Not just are you in another city, but you’re in a homeless shelter while trying to find work. Why?!”Alpha looked hurt by my words. I was the only person so far to actually express frustration with him, and I did it all in one go. A part of me felt guilty for shouting at him, but I was also lightened to get my thoughts off of my chest and into the open. I knew Zero Two would have done a similar thing, but probably not as vocally.“Yeah, I…” Alpha appeared embarrassed. “I really do have a lot of explaining to do, don’t I?”“You can say that again.” Zero Two folded her arms. As I guessed, she was not impressed.“Let’s all take a seat,” Ikumi suggested, so we all made our way into the living room. Alpha sat on the sofa near the opposite wall, where he sat next to Satoru, with Zero Two leaning against their sofa. On the sofa closest to the hallway, Tomi and Ikumi seated themselves while I chose to remain on my feet.“To tell you the truth… I was never happy.” He began to explain himself. “I was never happy about being bi. When I came out, I still wasn’t happy. That was because of all the things I used to do with the Nines. Even after telling Delta, let alone Zero Two and her squad, I was still too afraid to come out. I even started having thoughts about running away and beginning anew to get away from the life that I already screwed up. When Dad found out why I was visiting the LGBTQ+ Club at Franxx and he kicked me out, I decided to let those thoughts become a reality. I wanted to start again and pretend what I did never happened.”Tears began to roll down his face, but he was far from sobbing, so he continued his story.“I told the Nines the truth about who I am, as I knew they weren’t going to accept it. I mean, I misled them. They looked up to me, and I used them for my own frustrations. The worst part is I always cared about them. Delta…” He faced me. “I saw their texts. That’s as much as I know. I threw my phone into a river to cover my tracks when I left. What’s happened now?”I almost hesitated, but I told him the truth. “The Nines are no more. Beta restructured them. They don’t call themselves the nicknames you gave them anymore, neither do they call themselves the Nines. They also kicked us out.”“It’s because you supported me, wasn’t it?”“That, and they never really liked me, apparently.”He gave a sad, defeated sigh. He knew it was true, but spared me my feelings all these years.“I couldn’t get anywhere, though. Even when I had a place to stay, finding work was next to impossible because I was faking who I was, and some of the jobs required references. I was so desperate that I almost…” He paused, trying to find the right words. “Became a man of the night.”“Dear god.” Satoru was horrified. “No, son. I may have been in the wrong to throw you out, but you could have sought someone else you knew. You could have even come here to Tomi and Ikumi’s.”“I didn’t think they would have sympathy and forgive me because of what I’ve done. I thought they’d do what you did.”“You’ve made mistakes,” Tomi told him. “That’s completely true. Are we disappointed in you? Certainly. But as your father said, booting you out would be wrong. If there’s ever a problem, it can be fixed, no matter how bad it is.”“You didn’t need to run away to get a fresh start,” Ikumi gently told him. “You can still do it here. Running away from your problems doesn’t help. You may have caused a lot of problems, but the important thing is to atone.”Alpha remained appearing upset, the guilt caused by his past actions still haunting him.“The Nines.” He soon corrected himself. “The people who used to be mine and Delta’s friends… they’d never open up to us again.”“We don’t know that,” Zero Two retorted. “They might have a change of heart. If they do, it could be anywhere from a few days to several years. Even if it’s not all of them, someone might speak to you again.”“She’s right,” Satoru nodded. “That little bit of distance between you and them could do wonders.”Alpha pondered what he was told, his silence a clear indicator of him processing the information. I had never seen him so broken before, and I hoped he was going to jump right up onto the saddle.“Yeah,” he spoke quietly, a nod following. “The Nines – or rather, what were the Nines when Delta and I were a part of it – agreed we would change our ways. I may have come out to you all, whether I was ready or not, but I still have work to do. First of all, it’s good that the Nines are no longer using their nicknames. Those names, those identities that I gave all of us… they did not represent who we were, and they certainly didn’t represent who I am. Delta…”He looked straight at me.“We need to do the finishing touches.”I realised what he was alluding to.“I’ll no longer call you Alpha?” I asked, to which he nodded back. “I’ve called you that for so long.”“We still know each other,” he reminded me. “We’re friends. We’ve always been. The only thing that changes is that we’re putting our past behind us. It’ll be alright.”He gave a smile that did nothing but reassure me. Things were going to be alright, just like he said. Also like he said, those names he gave us were not who we really were. We were not Delta and Alpha, members of the anti-LGBT group the Nines – my name is Eriko, while his name is Hiroshi.

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There are days when I find it so hard to believe that Hiroshi’s brief disappearance happened eleven years ago. I still remember the fear and sadness I experienced not knowing where he was. It certainly was a dark moment for not just himself, but those who cared about him.It was within those eleven years where quite a few things happened.Our relationship with the rest of our old friends sadly never returned to what it once was. They never forgave him for how he had misled us, and their rejection of myself remained. We never knew what became of them, with the exception of one small detail.It was two years after Hiroshi’s disappearance when we came across Kai – formerly Beta – in a supermarket. They had since come out as non-binary, revealing that they never felt right being identified as male, nor as female. But that is all we knew about them before they walked off. We never even had a chance to enquire about the rest of our former friends.It was within those first couple of years when Hiroshi’s relationship with Zero Two improved. She may have been concerned when he vanished, but the bridge between them still had to be built proper. They are on much better terms now, with Zero Two expecting twins with her friend Hiro. In fact, most of their friends in Squad 13 got together with each other, with some of them already having children or are expecting them.And then, of course, there is myself and Hiroshi, of which we are together. I am now a children’s author, while he is a radio host. We are now expecting a child of our own, who we will teach right and wrong, as would any parent. We are not the people we once were; Alpha and Delta reflected the individuals we should never have become. Eriko and Hiroshi, on the other hand, are a stark contrast. We both love and care not just for each other, but our friends and families. There was always good in us, especially Hiroshi, it just needed to be uncovered.

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