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I must be going mad, when did I stop counting the days, the hours, the seconds, that I had spent in this hellhole. How did I lose track?Even if there is no sunlight the meals come regularly. Scratch that out i think they come regularly. The only solution is that I've lost my mind at some point along the way. When did I lose faith that my dear Ron and Harry would rescue me like I was some pathetic princess in a tower. If you had of asked me, well when I was captured I wouldn't have hoped for anything less. Now I only wish for a quick painless death.It's ok in here when I'm alone, it's worse when they take me to her and try to gorge any information about the order or harry from my soul. Even the burning flames of hell can't hurt as much as the cruciatus curse performed by bellatrix.
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I hear a dead weight drag across the floor. The poor bugger. I'm sure whoever they are won't last long, the other prisoners never do. I can't help but hope that one day they will bring someone to me, so they can help me keep my last remaining shreds of sanityI never knew there were so many ways to torture a person. The fear of the unknown is something I am becoming intimately acquainted with. The fear of being taken to her and the worry that I will let something slip, even though spilling my secrets would result in my death. Never before have I been so grateful for that conniving old man's manipulative ways. I remember when he made me take the unbreakable vow, I never believed that I could end up in this situation- imprisoned and tortured for information. This vow may be the thing that saves my life or destroys it and the world along with it. I have to escape before that happens.When I first got shoved into my cell I must have spent days clawing around looking for any possible escape or exit, but of course the golden girl would get the finest security Voldermort could afford. It's strange, I think, that so many fear a name of all things. When the wider world has so much unknown and so much danger, why must people fear a simple name? Apart from Dumbledore and Harry I've never heard anyone else use Voldermorts name out loud, surely fear of a name makes you fear the object of your attention more? I suppose that is the point, Voldemort would face less opposition if his opponants couldnt even speak his name. It almost worked during the first war, it was down to luck that Harry caused his downfall.A bang brought me out of my thoughts, God no, not now, please don't come to get me. I felt as though I was going to be sick- it had barely been any time since I was taken to her, they can't need me back so soon can they?A black figure stumbled into my cell and collapsed against the wall next to me as cautiously, I shuffled myself back to get as far away as I could."Not so gracious now, are we Snape? " the guard snarled "Perhaps you and goldy" he leered "can live out your deepest desires, after all what's the difference between one mudblood to the next?" Then any thoughts of escape lost my mind as he slammed shut my our cell door. My breath hitched, Dumbledores murderer."Granger" Snape barked "What are you doing here? Should you not be saving our lord and saviour Saint Potter from chopping off his own head?"Funny, that's where I was suppose to be, that was always the plan me and the boys had. I guess I would if they came for me. But I'm disposable. Harry and Ron were closer to each other than with me. Brotherly bonds I guess.The boys only need me for my brains but most members of the order know the same if not more than I do. Although I am supposedly the brightest witch of my age, there is a brightest witch or wizard of every age, I am not special. I can't be, otherwise they would have rescued me.I've been here since the day everything went wrong, the day of Dumbledores death. I wouldn't even know it had happened if Bellatrix hadn't boasted about Dracos part in it. I wonder if his funeral was a bright and interesting as the man himself, it would be a fitting goodbye if the funeral was a characterisation of Dumbledore"Did you really do it?" I heard myself ask " Did you really kill him, or did Bellatrix lie?""Yes" Snape declared and said nothing further."Yes, yes to what? Murdering Dumbledore in cold blood when he trusted you. Or yes that Bellatrix is a lying bitch?" I wanted to hope that what Bellatrix had told me was a lie, but I knew in my gut Snape was really the bastard who murdered the head of the order and was the reason I was stuck in this cell. I let out a sob "What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be at the beck and call of Voldermort, not rotting in a cell with goldy?" I spat in his direction "Traitor!" "Foolish girl" Snape snarled, "think for yourself for once, there are no textbooks here!" Tears streaming down my face I wondered whether I should end it all now. It could only get worse from this point forwards. That would be my torture, never being able to escape the hellfires of existence in captivity. I could make my death relatively painless -only- could I smash my head hard enough against the wall and what would happen if Snape called for help? "Stop, child." Snape said in a surprisingly gentle tone. "Think." I snarled at him and threw myself in the corner furthest away from him, cradling my knees again my chest with the occasional sob escaping my chest. What would happen now? Is Snape really a prisoner or is this all some twisted form of torture. It wouldn't surprise me, maybe they thought he would keep me sane so they could figure out a way to unlock all of my secrets and decimate the order.Tiredness overwhelmed me, I hadn't talked or moved that much since I had been captured but I can't sleep now- what if I can't sleep again? I certainly can't until I can be assured as to whether he can be trusted or not. What will happen to me? He's a murderer I think, and what did that guard say when Snape stumbled into my cell...
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I awoke with a start, my eyes flashed open and my body stood alert. Then my memories of everything that had transpired from the moment I had entered this cell came back to me. Tears started leaking out of my eyes an it was only then that I noticed a snowy white handkerchief delicately placed next to my person, embroidered with the initials S.S. My eyes then flitted around the cell but Snape was nowhere to be seen. I would have believed it was a dream nightmare if I didn't have his handkerchief in my own hands.What was to happen now? Was he to return? Or would he never come back like all the other prisoners of war kept in these cells? No matter his crime he doesn't deserve the torment I'm sure Bellatrix is providing him with. Even a murderer doesn't deserve the fiery flames of hell brought upon them by the cruciatus curse. I sat beside the cell door and tried to listen for him, for anything but it was futile, even if he was being tortured he either was silent or a spell had been used to prevent his screams. I pray that it's the first and that he isn't in too much pain.I paced hopelessly around the cell, panick rising as time went by- noone could survive the cruciatus for this long. They would surely have succumb to madness, what would I do if he was mad? A sane Severus Snape was hard enough to deal with- and what would happen if he comes back injured. I can't help the man, I know nothing about first aid. Oh gods I'm screwed if he comes back in any state other than the picture of health, what are the chances of that? What kind of prisoner would- a fake one! That's my test, does he come back hurt or not. It isn't foolproof but it will do for now, he did give me his handkerchief after all, he deserves a chance even if he did murder DumbledoreIt must have been almost a full day by now- he must be dead there could be no other explanation. Noone could remain alive after torture for this period of time, I would have certainly lost my mind after all this time. I winced in pain as I tore through the skin on my lip. There is no point worrying, if he comes back he comes back. I will just have to deal with it if he doesn't or if he does. I feel like a fool tempted by the company of another before having it cruel snatched away, similarly to a child and sweets. How could I let myself care? He's a murderer. He's the reason I'm in this cell. In this cell, alone. He doesn't care about me, the handkerchief was just a preventative measure to stop my snot from getting all over my our cell.I paused- the sound of heavy breathing, oh God's that's not good. Either the guard is angry or someones coming back injured, hopefully Snape. I waited with bated breath. Boots slamming into the ground cementing fears of an angry guard coming to take me for my turn. Suddenly my cell door wrenched open and a semi-conscious Snape was thrown back into my cell. I took a step towards him. "Stop, " he croaked out weakly, "Don't come any closer.""Why?" I asked, "I have been waiting to see if you were alive and uninjured, please let me help.""Don't touch me.""Why?""I will harm you," he coughed out, "I am dangerous.""But you are injured, you do not possess the strength to harm me" he looked so small so weak crumpled on the floor in his torn robes."It is not me that wishes to harm you but I will not be able to control myself if you come any closer."I stood for a moment before I took a step back and sat again the wall, "How are you alive?" He didn't respond. I looked over at him and saw him unconscious. That is the man I would never believe killed Dumbledore, he doesn't look capable of murder- he looks so weak. I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes. He's here and he's alive, I have nothing to worry over, not until Snape awakes at least.
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I sat for a while and thought, mostly about Snape. I thought about everything I knew of him, how loyal he was to Dumbledore and all the times he had protected me, Harry and Ron. Surely this man must have had another motive for killing Dumbledore. He surely couldn’t have done it on his own volition, he was a spy for so many years and helped the order invaluably during this time. Could this be connected to the headmasters previous blackening of the arm? Could Dumbledore have been aware of Snapes motivations? Did he not realise how lost the order would be without him. How easily the side of the light could lose - especially without a trustworthy spy. I lost myself in thought until the creaking of my cell door opened.I heard the guards boots thumping as he started to walk into the cell, "Come on princess, your turn" he smirked "or will I have to come and get you myself" he winked.I looked him in the eyes and calmly walked toward the door - this, this was not a reflection of my feelings. Pure and utter panick was making itself known in my gut and my brain was screaming at me to make a run for it. If they killed me at least I wouldn't hurt anymore.I held my head high and stood in front of him, "Don't touch me." I said sharply as he placed his hand on my arse. He leered and groped at it, "I'll do whatever I want to you princess, dont worry, I'll make you enjoy it." He grinned and pushed me towards the staircase. "If your good they might let me have you, then at least you'd have some use. Don't worry princess you would be a great service to me." I almost ran up the stairs, bile threatening to escape my mouth. I felt so used, so dirty, especially after he had touched me. How I miss being clean.I breathed heavily standing at the top of the stairs, but where was Bellatrix? I looked around but noone was to be seen. The guard reached the top of the step and called, "Madam Malfoy, I have our special guest."Narcissa Malfoy fluttered into the room, "Miss Granger. How lovely to see you." She smiled politely and turned to the guard, "That will be all"I sat in a plush velvet armchair, Narcissa (as she insisted I call her) detangling my hair after my bath. House elves all around us fussing with my clothes and makeup.I asked, "Why am I here, why are you doing this?""You may by all formalities be a prisoner of the Malfoys, but I am sorry for all you have been through under my roof, I wished to help and this may be your only chance to feel like yourself ""Thank you."Narcissa escorted me back to my cell and whispered that she would try to help me when she could. I stood in silent shock as my captivity sunk in once again.I then turned and looked at an awakened Snape and saw pure ebony-black eyes raking over my form. His eyes were glazed and pupils dilated. "Are you harmed Miss Granger?" He said in a silky voice causing shivers to trickle down my spine. "I am fine" I breathed out. "How about you, sir?" Snapes breathing became heavy, "If I were you Miss Granger I would take a few steps back, otherwise my actions may not be what you, desire."I took a step back, "Sir? What do you mean?""You will wish not to know Miss Granger, so I will take my liberty not to tell you.""Sir?" I took a step forwards"Do not act like the imbecile I know you not to be, listen to me girl, or else my actions will penetrate us forever." The silky tone in his voice returned. I shivered again, what was this feeling?I turned around and sat in 'my' corner facing him, but he had turned to face the door. What a strange man? What is going on with him, is it his injuries? Or was he actually hurt? This may have been the most interesting day I have had since being trapped in this cell - all because of Snape, well and Narcissa. I don't understand her motivations, Draco wanted to kill Dumbledore, Narcissa brought him up to be a blood supremacist. Why could she possibly want to help me? She surely can't have second thoughts about Voldemorts ways, she only benefits from his society.I ran a hand through silky smooth hair and sighed. I wonder how long it has been since I last went outside, since Dumbledore was killed. How long have the order had to rescue me? How long have they either failed to or not even tried to in the first place? What are my boys doing, are they OK? I would stay in this cell forever if it meant happiness for them. I would do anything for them, anything to end this war and all the pain it has caused. So many innocent lives wasted due to prejudice and bigotry, it just isn't right. But thoughts such as these will get me killed if Voldemort know what I would sacrifice for those I love - and those I don't. What I would sacrifice to give Harry the life he deserves, a family that cares for him, a perfect life, dying due to old age not by a homicidal maniac.These ever recurring thoughts get recycled throughout my brain, reminding me of why I have to stay sane and why I am in this prison. Why I have to stay alive, to protect my boys. These are the thoughts navigate my dreams to nightmares and make my daydreams turn into what ifs and maybes. They are why I keep fighting, day on day on day.
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I awoke to the uncomfortable feel of eyes boring into my very being. Snape, the man acting with unusual oddity, the man who has said some strange things to put it politely, the man whose words have invaded my dreams. I mustn't lie and say my dreams were not enjoyable - it's just uncomfortable to wake up with sopping wet knickers. Oh god, what if that's why he's staring at me what if I was sleep talking. I felt my face flush red. What if he can smell me? God, what is this cell doing to me. He's my professor, these are totally inappropriate thoughts. "Have a good sleep, did we?" He drawled ebony eyes still glued to my being.If it was possible my face grew redder, it would. I will be forever grateful for the dim lighting that shrouds the cell. "Yes it was very resting." I replied the picture of civility. I was determined not to let my true emotions show. "It's my nose that makes me such a competent potions master - it's always been a gift to be the hooked-nosed bat of the dungeons Miss Granger, you see. I can smell everything.""Everything?" I involuntarily gulped. God what was happening to me- this all feels unnatural. God's what if it is? Snape would never say this to me, to anyone most likely. He must be under some sort of spell, I must be under some sort of spell. How though?"Narcissa," I breathed "Shit.""Have something to say do we Miss Granger?""Sir, I believe we are under an enchantment made to enhance a certain feeling we both share. A lust spell.""Always the know it all," he sneered "You think I do not know - I created the spell you insolent chit.""You, you created it?" Why would he create a spell like this, it can't be light magic and surely voldemort would have no use for this. God's no surely he wouldn't have created it for himself, he can't have. I can't be stuck in a cell lusting over a rapist. This is the cruellest punishment I have undergone by far. I cant won't think like this, all I need is the truth."Yes, girl I created this spell for Lucius Malfoy. I never intended for it to be used." His black pools fixated on my lips, pupils dilating, breathing deepening and growing faster.I knew if I looked down I would see his cock straining to get out of his tight robes - the thought made me shiver, God's how I wish it was inside me. How I wish I could touch it, him. I snatched my arm against my body when it started to reach for him. I need to stop. I need to calm down - think rationally. I need to rest, escape this cell for a few hours. Get away from him and any thoughts of him. He is intoxicating. He is everything. I should be figuring out how to get back to Harry and Ron but why would I if I have him."Snape, please?" "Please, please please?" "Help me" I suppressed a moan."Please what?" He purred"Please fuck me."