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Unbreakable Bond

Chapter One

About eight years had passed since Lwaxana died and Rihanna still refused to talk about that day, preferring to make every attempt to forget. Instead, she tried to bury it deep into her psychic, refusing to even think about that day. Instead, despite pleas to give up the Troi mansion and move on from that day, she buried herself into Betazed becoming capable of defending themselves, if ever attacked by others again, yet at the same time, reunify Betazed with United Federation of Planets.The Betazed fleet was growing, and the ships were manned mostly by Betazoids.  To a lesser degree, crews also consisted of Vulcans and a small handful of humans.  The White Dove, a ship for peace and treaty missions, was no different.  Since it often carried ambassadors, delegates, negotiators, and other representatives, the ship had a fair number of defences, if needed.  The only difference between Betazoid ships and Starfleet ships is that mostly telepaths manned them, and conversation was mostly done in silence, unless communicating with a non-telepath.Except for a telepathic conversation between his Betazoid soul mate, Rihanna, and himself, the bridge of the ship was too quiet for his tastes.  Occasionally he would speak to the crew, giving commands, or one of bridge officers would address him, but there was mostly silence due to telepathic conversations he could not hear.  He was one of the few humans on board the Betazoid ship of a hundred crew members and passengers and it felt like a privilege, but so many telepaths took getting used to due to how they often communicated.  Unfortunately, or fortunately, he could not decide, Rihanna was the only one he could converse with telepathically, due to their spirit bond, but even that took getting used to over time.His first in command, Commander Rydel, was also human, but was not only unaccustomed to the quiet conversations, some of their beliefs and traditions he often had difficulty with.  He often got annoyed with Betazoid ways, especially the telepathic conversations and knowing what was on his mind before his brain could even get it out of his mouth often irritated him.  Chakotay was not sure how long his first officer would last and often wondered if he should not have opted for Starfleet exchange for his first assignment as a commander.A telepathic crew was helpful for Rihanna, but she still brought her assistant along for all her ambassadorial functions, negotiations and other interactions with non-telepaths.  Still, Chakotay often worried that the telepaths would eavesdrop on conversations in his ready room, despite his hardline rule of no eavesdropping on private conversations, including and especially those in the Ready Room.Today, he insisted on going to Dorvan V, because he wanted to retrieve some of the Native American items left behind by those who were relocated because the area was under Cardassian control ever since the Federation and Cardassian agreed on a treaty.   His first officer, as well as his ship’s counselor, who was not only his wife, but also an ambassador of Betazed, objected strongly to his destination.“Sir,” his first officer began, “I really must disagree with this mission that wasn’t even agreed to by the Betazoid headquarters, much less Starfleet.  I’m not even sure you asked.”“I realize I’ve been given a privilege with this ship,” Captain Chakotay informed him. “But I feel I need to do this for... palaeontology and anthropology purposes,” he lied to his first officer.“Need or want?” Rihanna, sitting on his left, sent to him knowing full well he was lying about his desires.“Counselor?” He looked at her.“I don’t think you’ve considered the risk you’re taking,” she continued. “Or you don’t want to, because you want the Native spiritual items, which can be and most likely have been replaced. It’s not worth our lives for your desires that are related to your hobbies.”Chakotay stood, looking at his wife, who was also ship’s counselor and a Betazoid ambassador, “My ready room now.”Rihanna read his lips, stood, and followed him, sensing his frustration with her and she also heard one of the other crew members, telepathically say to another, “Lover’s quarrel?”“Lieutenant,” The other, a Vulcan, replied telepathically, “You know the rules.” The rule, created by Captain Chakotay, was ‘not to eavesdrop on conversations behind closed doors, such as the Ready Room’. It was a rule that Chakotay thought was very justified, and he expected every crew member, which was mostly telepaths and empaths, to have that self-discipline.“You know I’m right,” she sent to him as they walked to the ready room.The doors slid open as the two entered the Ready Room and then the doors closed behind them.“Rihanna, you of all people should understand how I feel about this,” he sent to her.
“May I remind you; this is a Betazoid ship, not a Klingon battle cruiser.”

“Are they thinking about mutiny or something because I want to go to Dorvan V?”
“Chakotay,” she sent softly, “you know I don’t sound an alarm unless I believe there is danger.”“Like you did concerning Geordi?” He replied.  “That ended well, due to you being a pacifist to a flaw. You and your mother wanted to reach him telepathically and get him to fight the demands of those who took over his mind and body through his implants. What did that get you?”“What are you talking about?” she sent with anger. “And what does that have to do with going into Cardassian territory? You’re not Maquis anymore so what’s going on with you?”“And you are not in command,” he informed her angrily.  “Your first job is ambassador of Betazed, and your second job is my ship’s counselor, not being my second in command.”“Chakotay!” she said feeling a little hurt, maybe even pushed aside for another desire, and very angry.  “What is your problem? Have you lost your way? Your mind? Are you trying to hurt me? Over some relics?  Part of my job is telling the captain when he maybe making a mistake and you are!  You are putting this ship and its crew in danger for material items that have probably been replaced long since.”“Your job is not telling the captain where the ship can and cannot go,” he informed her.  “Now, I want you to compose yourself and take your seat on the bridge as my ship’s counselor.  If you cannot do that, I’ll drop you off at Betazed on the way back for your safety as ambassador and no one will bat an eye.”“You wouldn’t dare!”  She growled at him.“Try me!” He replied, aloud, facing her so she could read his lips, almost pinning her to the wall with a hand on each side of her.She ducked under his arm and left the Ready Room through the door leading to the corridor, instead of the doors leading to the bridge.“Well, take your time,” he said to her, knowing she didn’t hear him speak. He then went back to the bridge.“Sir, is the counselor alright?” His first officer asked because he had overheard part of the argument when they began to yell at each other.“Don’t worry,” Chakotay told his first officer.  “She’ll be back on the bridge soon.”“Captain,” came his Betazoid communications officer. “There’s a subspace message being sent from your quarters to the Silverbird.”“Rihanna’s probably talking to her sister,” Chakotay informed her, with a sigh, thinking he should have realized she would report him to someone.  “I’ll go check on her.”

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Chapter Two

In their quarters, Rihanna prepared to contact her sister, Deanna, who captained the Silverbird, a more powerful and larger ship, with a crew complement over eight times the White Dove’s, putting the little ship to shame. While the larger ship was sometimes used for diplomatic and rescue missions, it was not used much for transporting ambassadors and diplomats, except on special occasions. That was left to the smaller, yet more luxurious White Dove.Rihanna hated involving her sister in disputes with Chakotay, but this one was different. She had to report to someone in Betazed Command about his misguided determination to get Native religious items left behind.“I’m not sure I agree with his dressing down of you,” Deanna told her telepathically.  “He’s right that your first job is being an ambassador and your second his ship’s counselor, but he shouldn’t have brought up the past as though there was a relationship to what he’s doing now. That and you’re right to say something to him.  I’m not sure I understand him either, but he should not go into Cardassian space, and he knows this.  I’ll head that way and contact Will too.  If there’s trouble with the Cardassians, we’ll need all the help we can get.”“Chakotay!” Rihanna exclaimed like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar when he walked into their quarters.  “I was just talking to my sister.”“Hi, Deanna,” he greeted as though it were just a normal transmission to family, even though he knew better.“Hello, Chakotay,” she replied, sensing no anger from him concerning the transmission. “How are you doing with a crew of mostly telepaths and empaths?”“I have to admit,” he stated. “The silent conversations take a bit of getting used to.”Deanna chuckled uneasily.  “You’ll get used to it.”“I take it Rihanna told you where I’m taking the White Dove,” he asked seriously.“She did,” Deanna answered honestly and seriously, not even surprised that he finally asked. “I don’t understand why you feel the need to go into Cardassian territory and retrieve these religious items either.”“I don’t expect you to understand, Deanna, but I was hoping Rihanna would understand.”“You do realize you’re putting a Betazoid ship in a dangerous situation, without the permission of Betazed?”“Yes, ma’am,” he stated. “But I expect to be in and out, without even being noticed.”“The White Dove doesn’t have a cloaking device,” Deanna stated flatly.“I realize that.”“Like your first officer and your ship’s counselor,” Deanna began to inform him. “I must ask you to turn back and discontinue this mission of yours.  After all, you’re only the captain of the White Dove at the accord and consent of the Betazoid command fleet and government.  They could revoke it just for entering Cardassian space without permission.”Chakotay ended the transmission and then addressed Rihanna, “Rihanna, I know you’re doing your job, and I would expect no less, but I still expect you take your seat on the bridge beside me.”
“As your wife or as ship’s counselor?”
“Take your time in deciding what you want to do,” he told her.  “We’ll be out here for a while, but if I don’t see you on the bridge before we leave Cardassian space, I will take it to mean you want to return to Betazed.”As he left for the door, Rihanna angrily sent to him, “Keep in mind, you have a ship full of telepathic pacifists who abhor violence.”After he left, she sat back in her chair, remembering the day she went to the Betazed council, as a delegate of Betazed, requesting her marriage to Geordi be annulled. It did not take long for the Betazed council to respond.  It seemed like almost twenty-four hours. They already knew what happened at the Troi house, but they still went over what happened in the Fifth House, knew of Geordi’s location, his medical condition, and her reasons for ending it extremely quickly. They decided to end the relationship between the two of them, which also allowed her to continue as a delegate for Betazed, eventually gaining full ambassadorial status, representing the Fifth House.For almost two years after Taya was born, she and Chakotay continued to help rebuild Betazed and reunify the Betazoid people with the United Federation of Planets, despite some Betazoids protesting the reunification.  The fact was, Betazed, despite wanting some independence from the Federation, especially in matters of security, Betazed still needed the Federation.  The agreement ended with Betazed building their own fleet of ships, with a means of defending their planet. They also had their own academy too, but they were not done building their fleet of ships.It was also around this time, that Chakotay had returned home after working at the provisional Starfleet facility when she was talking to Celesta about an upcoming event, she needed Celesta to attend with her. Chakotay gave a sign for Celesta not to say a word or make an acknowledgement he was there, attempting to surprise a Betazoid by approaching her behind. He grabbed Rihanna, turned her around, and kneeled on bended knee.Sliding a beautiful ring on her finger and asked, “Rihanna Troi, would you do me the honour of making our bond official?”Rihanna smiled with glee, and said, “Yes!”He raised to his feet and hugged her.Deanna, Will, Beverly, and Jean-Luc were very happy for her and everyone in attendance, who knew the two, said that despite Rihanna being in the Phase, she only had eyes for Chakotay. Deanna and Beverly said it was about time they made their relationship official and not just a “spirit bonding”.Like usual, not everyone went naked to the Betazoid bonding ceremony.  Rihanna and Deanna did, as per Betazoid tradition, but Chakotay bared everything except his virile masculinity.  His excuse was he did not want anyone to see his shame get excited over seeing her on their wedding day. He suggested he could wear a loin cloth, but Rihanna did not like that idea at all, even though he did have great legs and a nice butt. To Rihanna’s chagrin, he wore the loin cloth anyway, baring everything except his manhood.Will, although uncomfortable as he always was at Betazoid weddings, including his own, went naked. Jean-Luc and Beverly did not. All the Betazoids, who attended, which was mostly ambassadors and delegates, was well as family, including her older daughters, went naked. Most human guest did not, except for Chakotay’s Native male guests.  They too opted for a loin cloth.  The female Natives wore traditional Native wedding apparel.Afterwards, Will and Deanna watched Taya, while Chakotay and Rihanna went on their honeymoon. Ten months later, their second daughter, Lwaxana, after her mother, was born.The doctor of Voyager, after their return, submitted a paper on nanites, reproduction, and birth control, which awaited per review and needed more research. So far it was well accepted, but Chakotay believed the children were gifts from the spirits.Now, almost five years after Lwaxana was born, Rihanna was six months pregnant again. She worried Chakotay was not only risking his life, but everyone’s life on the ship, including their daughters’, on the White Dove by taking them into Cardassian space. She was grateful the girls were in school and didn’t hear their disagreement.
 
Chakotay knew Rihanna was only doing her job by reporting what he was doing to Deanna, but he still felt the drive to retrieve the Native items.  Maybe it was history driving him or maybe he had lost his way. He knew she was not wrong about what he wanted were material things that were probably replaced, but for some reason he felt a strong need to get them, Marquis or not.He arrived on the bridge and took his captain’s chair.  It was not long before they reached Dorvan V.  He was ready to beam down to the planet, but found that if his crew was not mutinying, they sure were rebelling because everyone he tried to assign to come with him refused to beam down to the planet.  Even so, he was still determined to get the things he desired and beamed down alone, despite his first officer telling him not to go.Alone in a deserted colony, he walked and observed down totems, as he thought, “They’ve served their purpose and are now growing new life.”Sadden, he continued looking for anything he could retrieve.  Walking up a crumbling stairway, he found the remains of a vision quest.  The black ashes from sweet grass and sage remained in a shell and the fire circle had black marking from where a fire once burned.“Maybe she was right,” he thought. “I’m just looking for material things that served their purpose and are no longer needed.”At that point, he heard a sound and spoke, with his phaser ready for anything, “Who’s there?” he asked.  “Show yourself.”A bird flew up and away.“Maybe I’m just jumpy,” he thought as he watched the bird fly way.He turned back around and continued his search, until someone hit him from behind, knocking him unconscious. Rihanna suddenly gasped, knowing something had just happened to Chakotay, but she had no idea what.  She went to find Celesta to accompany her to the bridge to talk to Commander Rydel. Chakotay woke up to a smack to his face and noticed he had been tied up, with his hands bound above his head, as his feet barely touched the ground, unable to do anything but wiggle around.“Oh good,” the Cardassian said. “You’re awake.”“Who are you and why do you have me tied?” Chakotay asked dangling from his wrists.“Because you are going to answer my questions.”“And if I don’t?”“Immense pain,” the Cardassian replied using a gloved hand to pull a hot rock out of a fire pit he lit before Chakotay awoken and then gestured to someone behind Chakotay. “Get his shirt off.”Chakotay squirmed trying to break free of the ropes that bound him.“Now, who are you and why is a Betazoid ship in Cardassian territory?”“I am Captain Chakotay of the Betazoid ship White Dove.”“You did not answer the second part of the question, Captain Chakotay,” the Cardassian stated and burnt Chakotay’s chest with the hot coal.Chakotay screamed in agonizing pain.After the Cardassian removed the hot coal, he said, “Now, I ask you again, what is a Betazoid ship in Cardassian territory?”Chakotay, still feeling the pain, he gasped, “May I at least know who is asking the questions?”“Oh, where are my manners!” The Cardassian exclaimed.  “I guess you do deserve that much. I’m Gul Evek.”“I think I’ve heard of you.”“You probably have,” Gul Evek stated.  “Now, answer my question or I could have your ship blown to pieces killing everyone on it.”“I brought it here.”“I can’t believe you would have just brought the ship here with a whole crew on board,” insisted Gul Evek. “There must be a reason.  Then again, you were the only one who beamed down to the planet.”“If you know that much then why the questions?”Gul Evek gestured to the other Cardassian to burn him with a hot stone again and Chakotay screamed in pain again. “Now then shall we begin again? Why did you beam down alone?  Mutiny?”

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Chapter Three

Back on the White Dove, Rihanna and Celesta arrived on the bridge.  Celesta informed Commander Rydel that Rihanna wanted to speak with him.“I thought she was staying in her quarters?”“Sir,” Celesta addressed.  “Rihanna believes Chakotay is in trouble.”“He probably is with Betazed and Starfleet,” Rydel replied.“You don’t understand,” Celesta translated, “She believes he’s being tortured.”“And what do you want me to do?” Celesta signed what the commander asked.“Go find him!” Rihanna shouted with her deaf Betazoid accent.“My plan was to just leave him and let Starfleet take care of him.”“No!”“Celesta, take her back to her quarters,” he said as he turned away from the ambassador.Rihanna fell with a thud to the floor as she sensed Chakotay’s painful agony on the planet below.“Sir,” Celesta began in the flat tone of a Vulcan. “I don’t believe she is going anywhere except sickbay.”Rydel sighed, rolling his eyes as he said, “Damn Betazoids!” and regretting his decision to accept this assignment on the White Dove, he hit his comm badge, “Bridge to sickbay.”“Sickbay here,” came the voice of Doctor Selar.“Doctor Selar, the Betazoid ambassador is for some reason passed out on the bridge.”“I’m on my way.”“Don’t tell me this is more of that damn bonding thing,” he grumbled.“I won’t, Sir,” Celesta informed him.“Good!  I don’t want to hear it from any Betazoid on board this ship,” he insisted to the whole crew. “Is that understood?” Meanwhile, back on the planet, Chakotay, still screaming from hot rocks applied to his chest as blood began to pour out of some of the wounds, was still being interrogated.He gasped as he asked, “Why are you doing this?”“Because I believe you and your ship are spying on Cardassians, but I cannot fathom why the captain foolishly beamed down by himself.”“I did,” he replied.“So, you’re saying your crew abandoned you?”“It would seem that way.”“You look familiar to me,” Gul Evek stated. “The Maquis is gone, so that’s not it.”Chakotay said nothing, refusing to admit to ever being Maquis to the Cardassian, whose name he did recognize.“No matter,” Gul Evek continued. “I still need to know about the White Dove and why you brought her here.”“They have nothing to do with this.”“Maybe I need more than hot coals to get you to talk to me,” Gul Evek stated.  “Maybe ripping your nails from your nail beds.  No, that may be too extreme for getting you to talk. I’ll figure out something.”“Honestly,” Chakotay gasped again with pain. “They have nothing to do with this. I brought them here for my own desire. Nothing more. They didn’t want to come here.”“Really?” In sickbay, Rihanna was conscious again.“Well, Doctor, what seems to be the problem with her?” Rydel asked as he entered sickbay to check on the ship’s counselor.“Besides her being six months pregnant?”“Yes,” he replied. “Besides that.”“Well, she has a telepathic connection to Chakotay, right now it is stressing her telepathic pathways. Whatever he’s enduring, it’s making it worse.”“Well, can you sever it?”“Not without killing at least one of them,” Doctor Selar stated flatly. “Most likely Rihanna, since she’s the telepath.”“Please don’t tell me this has something to do with that damn legend Betazoids believe and you believe it too.”“No, but there is a definite telepathic connection between them that has nothing to do with any legend as far as I know,” Selar informed him. “As for the legend, I am Vulcan and have no specific knowledge of said legend except for what Betazoids have told me.”“Well, then do something and get her back to duty or her quarters or something. I don’t care.”Rihanna suddenly screamed out in pain.Doctor Selar walked over to her and scanned her.  “There are heighten endorphins and adrenaline in her system.”“Which means?” the commander asked.Celesta begins to translate what Rihanna signed, “She says she believes Chakotay is being tortured.”“You said that already,” Rydel stated. “I want a medical explanation.”“I could give her a mild sedative to lower the endorphins and adrenaline, but I can’t give her anything strong, due to her pregnancy.”“Bridge to Commander Rydel.”“Rydel here.”“Captain Riker is on screen wanting to speak to you.”“I’m on my way,” he replied, tapping his comm badge off and then addressed Doctor Selar. “Do whatever you need to do to help her. I’ll be on the bridge.”

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Chapter Four

Chakotay, still on the planet with Gul Evek and his partner, continued to hang by his wrists from a rope as a whip struck his back cutting his soft flesh.“I’m telling you,” Chakotay screamed in pain. “They have nothing to do with this.”“Oh, so I am to believe you’re a poor lonely Indian, trying to collect your things?” Gul Evek demeaned. “I see nothing here, so what should we do with you and your ship?”“Let them go,” he groaned in pain.“Oh, I’ve not done anything with them yet,” Gal Evek declared. “Give me one reason I shouldn’t.”Chakotay’s head was slumped forward with exhaustion and pain, as he thought to himself, “She’s right, I’ve lost my way.”“You can’t give me a reason?” Gal Evek asked as his friend flung the whip down on Chakotay’s back again. Back on the White Dove, Captain Riker was on the view screen asking, “Just why is the White Dove out here, about to face a Cardassian ship that is poised on the other side of the planet.“I pondered just leaving Captain Chakotay, who beamed down by himself, despite protest.”“You let him beam down alone?”“Everyone he chose for an away team refused,” Rydel informed Riker.Riker buried his face in his hand, “What the hell is he doing?”“Well, sir,” Rydel began, “According to Counselor Rihanna, who’s in sickbay, he’s being tortured.”“And you can’t get anyone to beam down and find his ass?” Riker asked irritated as he raised his head.“No, sir,” Rydel replied. “At the same time, I can’t leave because of some stupid legend and damn bonding the Betazoids seem to believe.”“Commander Rydel, that is enough,” Riker insisted. “Don’t even start with their legend. I’ve heard enough complaints from the Betazoid crew about your statements concerning their beliefs and why is Rihanna in sickbay?”“She passed out, not because she’s pregnant by six months, but because she is sensing Chakotay being tortured, and Doctor Selar says she can’t sever the telepathic connection without killing her.”Riker palmed his face again, “And she’s smart enough not to even try because... Never mind, you wouldn’t understand the Betazoid belief of Imzadi anyway. You’d just find something else to chastise.  I’ll send an away team of my own to rescue Chakotay and hopefully the Silverbird can keep the Cardassian ship from attacking you. After we find him and bring him back, I’ll deal with you too. Neither one of you are on my good side right now and if anything happens to Ambassador Rihanna or the White Dove’s crew, I’ll write you up for that too. Dead or alive.” Down on the planet, Gul Evek gets a call from his ship.“What is it?” Evek growled.“A Captain Deanna Riker of the Betazoid ship Silverbird wants to speak with you.”“Another ship, just what I need.”“Actually, sir,” said the Cardassian on the ship, “There is also a Federation starship too.”“Oh wonderful!” Gul Evek exclaimed. “A war begins.  Just what Cardassia needs.”“No, sir,” came the voice from the ship.  “They want Captain Chakotay returned, alive, no questions asked because he came to this sector without Starfleet or Betazed Command’s permission.”Suddenly, Chakotay wasn’t sure if he wanted to die from the torture or face a court martial. Either way, he knew he was in a lot of trouble.“So, what do they want to negotiate?”“I’m not sure, but given we are currently the only ship out here,” the voice trailed off and stopped.“He’s gone rogue, like a former Maquis?”“They gave no details, but they want him returned for disciplinary action. That’s all the information the captain of the Silverbird gave.”“Oh, very well,” Gul Evek growled. “He’s not worth our time.  Let him go and give him back to his people.”

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Chapter Five

Will Riker and his team beamed down close to where the humanoid lifeforms were detected. He gestured for two of his team members to go one way, two the other, two more another way, which left him and another to yet another way, covering four directions.From four sides of where humanoid life signs were detected, Will’s team entered the dilapidated building. They spotted Chakotay, bloody, burned, and whipped to a pulp, weak with pain.“Hold it right there,” Riker demanded.“Oh, you must be the Federation my crew member informed me of,” Gul Evek stated.“We want our officer back.”“In exchange for what?” Evek asked.“Your life at this rate,” Will Riker stated. “Seems we have you outnumbered eight to two and three ships to your one.”“Take him,” Evek gave in and added, “Next time one of your people wander into Cardassian territory, we might not keep them alive, so keep your people out of our territory.”“Understood.” Riker responded.“Cut him down,” Evek said to his partner.Chakotay fell to the ground with a thud after his wrists were set free from the frame of the low ceiling. He wailed with excruciating hellish agony as he hit the ground. His bleeding burn wounds on his chest pierced him with sharp shrilling torment. Every nerve in his chest roared with searing abominable pain.  His back reverberated with nerve-racking intense agony. Every nerve in his chest and back felt like scorched smouldering embers, still searing every nerve in his upper body.“He’s all yours,” Gul Evek stated and walked off with his crewman.Will and his team scrambled to collect Chakotay, who screamed as Will and another officer lifted him off the ground, and beamed him to the Titan’s sickbay. Once they were in Sickbay, the seven crew members Will brought with him were dismissed and Will addressed his ship’s doctor, “Get him fixed up so I can reprimand him for his behaviour, drag him into Starfleet, and back to Betazed again.  Call me when he’s able to talk again.”“Aye, Sir,” he answered as Will left sickbay. Rihanna was released from sickbay on the White Dove and insisted on beaming over to the Titan to see Chakotay, as Riker beamed over to talk to Rydel. Riker granted her and her assistant permission to board the Titan.The doctor on the Titan worked on Chakotay’s wounds with the neuro-regenerator as Rihanna entered Titan’s sickbay.Chakotay didn’t feel like lying down, but he didn’t feel like sitting up either. He every nerve in his body screamed in pain. He settled for sitting up so the doctor could work on either side of him, without any more discomfort than necessary.Rihanna walked into sickbay with Celesta, “Chakotay,” she sent to him not wanting to touch him and cause him more agony.“Rihanna, you shouldn’t be here, seeing me like this.”“I already had an idea of how bad it was,” she insisted. “I could sense your torture.”“There was nothing to torture me over,” he groaned, still having pain as the wounds began to heal somewhat.There was a pause in their telepathic conversation as Rihanna watched the doctor painstakingly move the neuro-regenerator over his massive wounds to repair damaged nerves in his broken and burned flesh.“Rihanna,” Chakotay sent to her, “I am very sorry. You were right. I lost my way and I know that now that I saw everything left behind had served its purpose and was growing new life.”“You forgot we all one too,” she stated as she spoke his spiritual language. “And because of that, the actions of the one affect everyone to varying degrees.  Some more than others.”“I seem to have taught you well and yet I’m the one who forgot it,” he told her. “Can you ever forgive me?”“I can forgive you for forgetting the lessons you taught me, but if you ever bring up mother’s death in such a manner again…”
“I’m never going to live that down, am I?”
“No, especially since you know I don’t want to talk about it to begin with,” she told him.

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Chapter Six

Will was on the White Dove as all three ships were heading out of Cardassian space. After beaming on he headed towards the bridge.  Once there, he demanded Rydel join him in the ready room.“What the hell was that?”“What do you mean, sir?”“Not only did you practically abandon your captain, but you left the ship a sitting duck in Cardassian territory.  You both could have started a war with the Cardassians.  Not only that, but you also insulted the views and beliefs of almost every Betazoid on the ship with your twisted views of them.”“Sir?”“You questioned Doctor Selar’s treatment of Rihanna by criticizing Betazoids’ beliefs. You’re damn lucky that Vulcan’s don’t let their feelings get hurt so easily or you could have insulted her too.”“How did you find this out?”“Doctor Selar not only told me, but…”“Let me guess, you can pick up on Betazoid thoughts?”“No, but I’m also married to a Betazoid, and she picked up on their thoughts and brought them to me.” Riker informed him.  “That and people informed me on the way to the bridge.”“I really need to get use to telepaths talking mentally to each other.”“You’re not going to have time.” Riker told him. “Because you’re being transferred off this ship to the Titan as fast as Chakotay is well enough to return to the White Dove. You’ll be relieved of duty until we get back to Earth.”“He’s off the hook?”“I didn’t say that, but that’s also none of your business now.”  Will replied. “Once he returns and is medically cleared, you’ll beam over to the Titan. Is that clear?”“Yes, sir.”“Dismissed.” Will left the White Dove’s ready room to return to his ship. Once back on his ship, he went back to sickbay to check on Chakotay. Rihanna was still there talking to him.Chakotay saw Riker enter sickbay and sent to Rihanna, “I’m in a lot of trouble.”“Rihanna,” he touched her arm to get her attention. Facing her he asked, as he aligned his thoughts with his words, “May I have a moment with Chakotay?”She nodded and went with the doctor to talk to him, as Celesta followed.“You know, this is a serious reprimand.” Riker informed him. “I have no idea what Starfleet is going to do with you, much less what Betazed will do. You’ll be lucky if you’re not court martial.”Chakotay, still sore from his wounds, which had improved with treatment, squirmed as he said, “I was afraid of that.”“You should have been concerned about that before you took the White Dove out into Cardassian space. What the hell did you think you were doing?”Chakotay told him and then apologized because he now realized it was a big mistake.“Save it for Starfleet,” Riker growled. “Don’t think Rihanna can bail you out or will bail you out, because she can’t even if she wanted to. Her hands are tied. She can’t even do a psych eval on you because she’s your wife. Trust me, Deanna probably will do one on you though.”“Understood, sir,” he replied. “At least I didn’t have a mutiny on my hands too.”“Didn’t you?”“Sir?”“Every one of your crew refused to beam down with you, yet you still went down there by yourself,” Will stated.  “I’m surprised they didn’t leave your ass on the planet. Rydel wanted to, but the rest of the crew couldn’t be that cruel to you.  That and your Betazoid crew members, like Deanna and I do, believe you two have an eternal bond, which ticked off your first officer so much he couldn’t keep from criticizing them. I removed him from duty as soon as you return to the White Dove. It seems to me you had a very Betazoid mutiny, whether you know it or not. A quiet one, but none the less a mutiny.”“You may be right,” Chakotay affirmed. “And I’m sure Rihanna had some part in it too, in her own way.”“You know she did. Now, I’m hoping I’m not making a mistake Captain Picard once made,” Will stated. “But as soon as the doctor releases you, I’m going to allow you command of the White Dove until we get to Betazed.  From there, you will board the Titan back to Earth to face Starfleet Command.  Any deviation from the flight plan, I’ll send you to the brig and tow the White Dove back to Betazed.  Is that understood?”“Yes, sir.”“As for what Betazoid command will do with you, I don’t know, but you’ll have to face them too.” Will informed him. “You were in command only at their willingness to make amends with the Federation and Rihanna’s request. This isn’t a good start at all and sadly, it may also reflect on Rihanna’s choice to command the White Dove.”“I realize that, Captain Riker.”“You should have realized that sooner.” Riker told him. “At your earliest convenience, you will see Deanna or any other counselor for a psych eval, is that understood?”“Yes, sir.”“When the doctor releases you, I want to see you again, before you beam back over to the White Dove.”“Yes, sir.”“One last thing,” Will began with the piercing anger of a caring brother-in-law. “If you ever, and I do mean ever, bring up Lwaxana’s death or Geordi in the manner you did, I’ll personally knock you down a few ranks. Are we clear?”Chakotay nodded with aching pain, “We’re very clear, Will.”With that Will started to leave, but as he passed Rihanna and the doctor, he said, “He’s all yours. Keep me informed and let me know when he’s ready to leave sickbay.”“Aye, sir,” the doctor replied.The two returned to Chakotay and the Titan doctor scanned him again before saying, “You should be better than what you were. The nerves shouldn’t be screaming at you as much as they were.  I’m going to send you to your quarters on your ship with a dermal regenerator.  I want Rihanna to use it on you tonight and again in the morning.  I also want you to see Doctor Selar on your ship in the morning for follow up.”The doctor gave Rihanna the dermal regenerator and handed her a PADD with the instructions he just gave Chakotay.  “See to it he follows these instructions,” he told her facing her as she watched Celesta interpret for her.

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Chapter Seven

Captain Will Riker met Chakotay, Rihanna, and Celesta in the transporter room, “I take it you’re ready to go?”“Yes, sir, we are.”“Remember what I said, even one deviation from the flight plan and your ass is in the brig.  Understood?”“Understood.”Rihanna smiled as she said aloud, “I and our girls will make sure he stays in line. However, he has not been released for duty yet.  That will be up to Doctor Selar.”“Ah, yes, tell Taya and Lwaxana their Uncle Will and Aunt De say hi.”She looked at Celesta as Will spoke and then replied, “We will, and you tell Little Jean-Luc we said hi.”“Will do,” Will smiled. “By the way, with maybe four months left, have you settled on a name for your boy yet?”“We have,” Chakotay confirmed. “Kolopak, after my father.”“Sounds like a good name,” Will politely replied.  He couldn’t believe Rihanna agreed to name their son that, but maybe she consented because she named their second daughter after her mother.“I did, Will. I did,” Rihanna sent to Will’s mind without Chakotay picking up on what she said to Will.Chakotay smiled, “I think it is, even if we didn’t see eye to eye on the name.”“We need to get the girls,” Rihanna signed, as Celesta translated. “I told their teacher to send them to daycare after school.”“Well then,” Will said, “When this is over, let’s get together on better terms as a family.”“I’d like that,” Chakotay replied, accepting his offer.“I mean it,” Captain Riker insisted. “Behave yourself, because I really don’t want to place you in the brig.”Knowing he said that as a brother-in-law and not as a captain, Chakotay just nodded and said, “I don’t doubt that for a minute.”  He then stepped onto the transporter pad with Rihanna and her assistant.“Is the White Dove ready to receive them?” Will asked his transporter officer.“Yes, sir,” his transporter officer replied. “Doctor Selar is waiting for them in the White Dove’s sickbay, so I’ll send them directly to sickbay.”“Energize.” Will ordered. The three materialized in the White Dove’s sickbay.  Doctor Selar greeted them with her scanner in hand.“I’m getting a bit tired of being scanned repeatedly,” Chakotay strongly protested.“It’s necessary with how bad your wounds were,” Selar informed them. “Nerve damage was only part of it.” Then she looked at Rihanna and sent, “Do you have the dermal regenerator?”Rihanna showed her and nodded.“Very well,” Selar stated. “I will see you at 0800 promptly. Make sure you use the dermal regenerator tonight and before you come into Sickbay in the morning.”“I’m sure Rihanna won’t let me forget.”“We need to get the girls,” Rihanna sent to Chakotay.“Family calls, Doctor Selar,” Chakotay said to her.

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Chapter Eight

The two finally entered the daycare on the White Dove, “Mommy! Daddy!” Taya and Lwaxana ran up to them with excitement.  Taya was now eight and Lwaxana was five.  Rihanna had both girls while she was in various stages of the Phase, just as she was having Kolopak.  Taya was towards the very beginning, and Lwaxana was conceived near the height of it. Kolopak, they assumed was towards the end of it.Normally, the standard methods of birth control prevented such things, but the Doctor on Voyager discovered that the Borg nanites that most of the Voyager crew had, managed to keep it from working as effectively than without them. The Phase did not keep the nanites from decreasing the effectiveness, but rather decreased it even more than if not in the Phase. Thus, since both Rihanna and Chakotay had Borg nanites in their system, the standard birth control was not as effective as it was for Will and Deanna and the nanites often reversed medical sterilization. It was trial and error with frequency of standard birth control, so Rihanna just accepted that she was much like her mother when she had Baron.Chakotay groaned with some lingering pain as the girls grabbed and hugged him tightly. “We missed you, Daddy.” “How did you end up on Uncle Will’s ship?” “What happened?”“We’ll talk about it all later,” he told them.  “Let’s just go home.” The family had dinner and once the girls were in bed, Rihanna held the dermal regenerator in her hand as she sent, “Take off your shirt.”“You want to make love now?” he asked with a mischievous grin as he sat in front of the holo-fire.“Nice thought, but no.”He took off his shirt and Rihanna began treating him with the dermal regenerator as they both sat on the floor in front of the holo-fire.“You know Rihanna,” Chakotay sent, “You never did tell me what exactly happened when Geordi killed your mother.”“I really don’t want to talk about it.” Rihanna insisted aloud.“Walela, it’s been over eight years,” he stated, “You keep hiding it in the corners of your mind and you won’t let me in those corners to know about it.”She tried to fight tears as she said, “I’m not the only one who can’t talk about what exactly happened.”“Well, maybe it’s time you three did talk about it,” Chakotay insisted.“You know how much it hurt when you brought it up the way you did with everything else?” Rihanna asked him as she fought tears so she could treat the damage to his back. “Especially to a Betazoid woman who’s in the Phase.”“Oh boy,” he sighed as he turned to face her.“I’m not done with your back yet!” she exclaimed aloud.“You need to get my chest anyway,” he told her. “Look, I’m truly sorry and I realize that might not be enough, especially if what I said felt as though I was rejecting you. Regardless, I feel you need to talk to me or even your sister, someone about what happened.”“You have no idea!” Rihanna shrieked. “You weren’t there!  I don’t want to talk about it.”“Mommy, Daddy,” Taya walked out of her room and touched her mother’s shoulder.“What are you doing up?” Rihanna signed to her older daughter.“Lwaxana won’t let me sleep,” Taya signed back to her parents. “She says her friend Tommy said that when mommies and daddies fight, it means they are ‘bustin’ up’. I told her other Betazoids say your bond is everlasting. She said that’s a lie.”“Really,” Rihanna signed.“Damage control?” Chakotay asked Rihanna telepathically.Rihanna nodded in agreement and sent back, “Damage control.”
“You take Taya and I’ll go deal with Lwaxana.”
Chakotay went into the girls’ room to talk to Lwaxana.“Hon,” Rihanna signed. “Just because parents fight doesn’t mean they are ‘bustin’ up’ as Lwaxana’s friend put it. Your father and I are just going through some stuff.”“Daddy’s in a lot of trouble, isn’t he?” Taya asked her mother in sign language.  She and Lwaxana grew up with sign language from the day they were born, so they we bilingual and fluent in both Federation Standard and Federation Sign Language. It was difficult to tell which was their first language since they learned them congruently.“Well, yes, but you let us worry about it.”“Is that what you are fighting about?”“Trust me when I say your father and I will work things out and it will be alright. That’s what makes relationships last, not some story.”“Are you saying the story is not true, Mommy?” Taya signed.“No, I’m not saying that, Hon” Rihanna explained to her. “I am saying your father and I are just working some things out and what happens on Betazed and Earth will be OK.”“You promise?”“I promise you, your father and I will be alright,” she signed. “I can’t actually promise you anything about what Starfleet or Betazed says.”“OK. I really hate it when you yell,” Taya signed. “You sound awful, Mommy.”Rihanna was a bit shocked to hear that from her daughter, but then her daughter added, “I hate when daddy yells too.”That made it a bit better, especially from the eight-year-old, but it still bothered her that her own daughter said she sounded awful.“Well,” Rihanna signed giving her daughter a hug and kiss, and then sent to her mind, “I think you need to go back to your room, tell your father you love him, and go to bed.”“OK,” the little girl signed and voiced with a smile. “Mommy?”“Yes.”“Do Aunt De and Uncle Will believe you and daddy are bonded eternally, like other Betazoids do?” She signed.Rihanna sighed again and then signed back to her daughter, “I can’t speak for them, dear. You’ll have to ask them next time you see them.” Then she spoke aloud to her daughter, “Now go to bed! You have school tomorrow.”“OK,” the little girl ran into her room. “You’re in twoble, aren’t you, Daddy?” Lwaxana said in her little five-year-old voice.“Not going to lie to you, honey,” Chakotay told his daughter. “I’m in trouble with a lot of people.”“Mommy too?”“Her too, but I assure you, it will be OK though.”“So, Tommy is wong?”“Sometimes parents argue, but it doesn’t mean they are separating, like Tommy’s parents did.”“Weally?”“Really.”“Is what other Betazoids say is twue?”“That our bond is eternal?”“Um hum.” She nodded.“I don’t know what your mother would say, but I feel it is,” he told his daughter. “But that doesn’t mean we won’t have our disagreements. All parents fight and the best ones manage to work things out for the better in the end.”“You not weaving?”“I wish I could say no, but as I said, I’m in trouble with a lot of people. I don’t know what will happen with Starfleet or Betazed.”“I hope it’s ok.”“You let mommy and daddy worry about that and go to sleep, OK?”“OK.”Taya runs back into the room giving Chakotay a big hug and kiss, “I love you, Daddy.”Chakotay grunted in pain.  The nerves in his body weren’t as agonizingly painful as they were before the doctor on the Titan treated him, but they were still sore. He knew it would take some time before it no longer hurt to be hugged by his daughters.“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Taya stated sympathetically. “Does it hurt?”“A little, but I’ll be alright.”“I hope so,” she replied. “It still looks bad even though you saw the doctor.”“It’s actually a lot better than it was,” he told her. Still, he didn’t want her to know just how bad it was or bad it looked when he first arrived in Titan’s sickbay.He gave both his daughters a kiss good night, “Now you two go to sleep.” Tucking them back into their beds. “I don’t want to hear anymore from you two until it’s time for you get up and go to school.”“OK Daddy” they chorused.He left the room, heading back to Rihanna. “How did it go with Taya?”She reiterated what she told Taya to him.“That’s pretty much what I told Lwaxana too,” he told her. “Do you think they’ll be empaths like Deanna when they hit puberty?”
“I don’t think so,” she said as prepared to finish treating his back and chest with the dermal regenerator. “Deanna is half Betazoid and I’m not full Betazoid myself, given my father was half and mother was full, so they’re probably less than half. Then again, Lydia and Laura have empathic abilities, but I always thought the gene activated for them because they are deaf.”

“Who knows if they will be or not, but it will be interesting,” he surmised.
“Yes, it will be. I do need to finish your chest and back still,” she told him, holding the dermal regenerator. “So please, sit down.”He sighed and sat down in front of her. “Hopefully, Doctor Selar allows me to return to duty after she sees me.”
“You know what I think?”
He had to ask, “What do you think?”
“When was the last time you went on a vision quest?”

“I thought you had your doubts about that?”
“I’m asking because it seems to help you,” she told him as she ran the dermal regenerator over him.“I don’t remember,” he informed her. “Maybe five or six years.  A while.”“I think you need to get in touch with yourself again,” she insisted.  “I’ll even smudge our quarters with sweetgrass and sage, if it will help you find peace of mind and cleanse your soul.”“Walela,” he sent with deep feeling, “OK, I’ll go on a vision quest, if you think I need to.”
“No, I don’t want you to do it for me.  I want you to do with good intension, as you are supposed to do.”

“When you finish with me, I will, but you don’t have to do all that smudging.”

“I will if it truly helps you.”
“Why do I get the feeling, you learned the lessons I taught you better than I have,” he asked. “You seem to be the one with good intentions and I’ve gotten slacked about it.”
“I truly don’t know. I’m the one who has doubts about it all, yet I do it for you, because I love and care about you.”

“I don’t think you have that many doubts or you wouldn’t even be giving the teachings back to me,” he said to her.

“I never said I disbelieved it. After all I’ve been on vision quests with and without you. I end up in a place where the deaf can hear. It’s all surreal, and yet look at us. We communicate far better than we did before the bonding. I can’t explain it and I’d like to know how and why, but I don’t know.”

“Does this mean you have forgiven me?”
Rihanna sighed, “Let’s not go back to that conversation, because I really don’t want to talk about it.”“OK,” he raised his hands in surrender. “But I would like for you to eventually talk about it.”

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Chapter Nine

Chakotay was able to return to duty the next day after seeing Doctor Selar again, but he still had some healing to do, both physically and psychologically.  At least according to Rihanna and Deanna, who he also saw before they arrived at Betazed.“You know,” Deanna began, “I think Rihanna is right.  You really need to get in touch with yourself again.  When was the last time you’ve been to places where your ancestors lived on Earth?”“Not since Lwaxana was conceived.”“Then if you can, after all of this is over with Starfleet and Betazed, I think you should go as a family.  Get in touch with your roots. Go to a sweat, if they have any. Something that helps you get back in touch with yourself and teaches your children about their heritage.  They need to know more than just their Betazoid side and what you practice. They need to experience it.”“I agree and I think it’s an excellent idea,” he told her.“And yet you were reluctant to take Rihanna’s advice about a vision quest?”“I see what you mean,” he replied.  “Maybe I need to get back in touch with her, but how can I when she refuses to talk to me about something which still haunts her?”“You mean mother and Geordi?”“Yeah, she’s never told me what she experienced.”Deanna shuffled in her seat, “That is a very personal subject that affects Will and me very deeply still too. I can’t tell you how to handle it, because it’s a subject that’s too close to me.”“I understand, but she needs to talk about it.”“You know, Chakotay, she and I can’t even talk about it. Will and I can’t talk about it, at least not easily. I’m not surprised she can’t talk about it if Will and I struggle to talk about it to each other.  It’s a very painful and sensitive subject for us, but I don’t disagree with you. She is trying hard to bury it deep within her mind and I fear she may end up having an issue like mother once had if something isn’t done to help her before that happens. Still, for the moment at least, I really feel you and I should get back to discussing you.” The ships finally arrived at Betazed, where they docked the White Dove on the Betazoid space station and then they talked to the Betazed Command, who decided they would wait for Starfleet’s judgement of Chakotay before they made their decision.Rihanna boarded the Titan with Chakotay to head for Earth. When the four of them arrived at Starfleet Chakotay’s counsel recommended they cite Captain James T. Kirk’s excursions, in the hopes that it would lead to a demotion in his case too.Deanna’s psychological evaluation suggested that Chakotay had a temporary moment of emotional distress resulting in a loss in judgement.  Not quite depression but bordering on it enough to cause him to make irrational decisions and choices.In the end, Chakotay received a demotion to commander and a reprimand that would stay permanently on his record. After that, he faced Betazed Command, who allowed him to stay on the White Dove with Rihanna, as first officer, if the new captain would have him and on the condition that he would not do anything similar again.

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Chapter Ten

While they were on Earth, Chakotay visited Tuvok, asking how he could help Rihanna talk to him about what happened a little over eight years ago.  Tuvok at first told him to give it time, but when he pursued it Tuvok suggested that maybe it would be possible to do something like a mind meld link with another telepath, with her consent. Tuvok would need to be present to assist, and even a doctor too to monitor their physical condition.“It could be easier than pushing her to talk about it,” Tuvok suggested. “Yet still just as bad as the day it happened, because the memory would be brought back to the surface in order to share it with you with my assistance.”The only problem was, she would mentally reexperience the whole incident for Chakotay to learn about it. He too would mentally experience the chaos that occurred that day and given how reluctant even Deanna and Will were to talk about, as well as her assistant, he surmised it was extremely traumatizing.  Tuvok added that he would need to think long and hard as to whether he wanted to put both himself and Rihanna through that mental trauma again.If he did, he would not only have to discuss it with Rihanna, as well as wait until their son was born so that Rihanna could endure the procedure without affecting their unborn child.“I don’t know if she would agree to it.”“You will not know unless you ask her,” he insisted.  “Of course, it is also possible your spirits could answer your questions without retraumatizing Rihanna, though I have serious doubts.”“It’s a lot to think about,” Chakotay replied.“You could start simple, with your spirits and if you do not feel you got the answers you sought to find, then ask her about my idea and maybe Deanna and Will also.”Chakotay nodded, “I do believe the spirits protected and saved Taya and Rihanna’s life that day. I can’t prove it though. Even Doctor Crusher believes something, or someone protected them that day, given her medical evaluation of the situation.”“If you truly believe that,” Tuvok began, “Then the most logical place for you to start is with a vision quest to seek answers about the day in question.”Chakotay nodded, thanked his friend, and went back to the Titan to head to Betazed. Back on the Titan, inquisitive Taya asked her aunt, who was also on the Titan on this day, “Do you believe mommy and daddy are spirit bonded?”Deanna was taken aback by the question from such a young person as they ate chocolate ice cream. “If you mean if I believe they are true Imzadi, then yes.”“What does ‘Imzadi’ mean?”“It means you touched one’s soul, but not just anyone’s soul,” she explained.“I don’t think I understand,” Taya replied with confusion.“You might when you are much older.”“Is that the same as spirit bonded?”It was then she realized, that despite living most of their lives with Betazoids, her nieces understood Chakotay’s spirits concepts better than the Betazoid concept of soul. She felt they were two different concepts from two different cultures, and she wasn’t quite sure how to convey the Betazoid concept of a soul.“Maybe your mother can explain it better than I am doing.”“But she told me to ask you if you believe that she and Chakotay are spirit bonded,” Taya informed her. “She said she couldn’t speak for you. She also didn’t act like she quite believed it though, so I don’t know.”“Maybe the question you should have asked her was if she believed your father is her true Imzadi,” Deanna replied.“True Imzadi?”“It is a deep spiritual bond, in which both have truly touched each other’s souls,” her aunt explained. “And no matter what happens they will always be Imzadi.”“An everlasting, unbreakable, bond, just as other Betazoids say.”Deanna nodded, “Yeah.”“You call Uncle Will, Imzadi, so you must believe the story.”“I believe Imzadi is very true.”“And sometimes Mommy calls Daddy Imzadi too.”Maybe the little girl was comprehending the concept after all, Deanna thought to herself.

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Chapter Eleven

“Chakotay, no!” Rihanna shouted angrily, her accent thick and heavy. “I’m not doing it!”“I really would like to know what happened to everyone on that day,” Chakotay pleaded earnestly, grateful their daughters were with their aunt. “The spirits said you are the only one who can speak of the experience and if you don’t speak, then you will carry your experience alone.”“I don’t want to experience it again!” she continued to shout almost unintelligibly. “I just want to forget what happened!”
“Will and Deanna know what happened and can support each other if they need to, but you have been shutting them and me out and bearing this pain by yourself. I could help if you shared with me.”
“Deanna and Will don’t talk about it.”
“Are you sure they haven’t, when they were alone and allowed the healing to begin?”
That got her. She fell silent and then after a few moments, she softly said, “I don’t know. They don’t talk to me about it. They are just as quiet about it as I am, but then again, they know I won’t talk about it.”“It could bring us closer together if I knew more about what happened,” he sent to her. “Just with this conversation alone, you’ve pushed me out by shouting at me, instead of talking to me, telepathically.  You’ve shut me out and keeping it hidden in some distant corner of your mind.”She hadn’t realized it until he mentioned it.  That was what she had done for over eight years.“If I hadn’t asked her to help me reach Geordi she might still be alive,” she sent softly to his mind.  So softly he could barely hear what she communicated in his mind.“And maybe I could help you with that pain, if you shared it with me.”“OK, after Kolopak is born, I’ll go with you to see Tuvok,” she conceded in defeat. “I don’t want to fight about it anymore.”
“We’ll need to see if Doctor Selar will come with us.”
“This doesn’t seem like a good idea, Chakotay,” she sent, still not sure if she really wanted to do it.  “But if I do this, and Doctor Selar can’t do it, then maybe Doctor Crusher.”“Allowing you to live with it alone isn’t a good idea either,” he told her. “Deanna told me about your mother burying the death of your older sister.  She doesn’t want you to suffer as your mother did either.  We have three months until Kolopak is born, so we can start arranging it now. You’ve shouldered this pain alone for too long and it could eventually cause you problems if you don’t do this.  This is the least I can do for you, especially if you can’t or won’t talk about it.”
“Really, you don’t have to.”
“I want to,” he said.  “I want to because I love you.”
 
Chakotay had told Will and Deanna about the plan not too long afterwards.“Be careful what you ask for, Chakotay,” Will warned as they sat at a table in Titan’s ten forward. “You might not be able to deal with it either. I still struggle with what I had to do keep Geordi from killing Deanna.”“I really don’t want to talk about it either,” Deanna stated. “Still, I’m concerned with how Rihanna tries to bury what happened, she could end up like Mother did concerning my older sister’s death, that I never knew I had until then.”“Yet, you do have a point, Chakotay, when you told her you could help her bare the pain if you knew what exactly happened,” Will added.  “At the very least, you’d understand the pain and know the trauma we three experienced.”“Four if you count Geordi,” Deanna stated, looking a bit distant.“Yes, he too struggles with what happened and still has great remorse,” Will confirmed. “I don’t think any of us will forget it.”“Maybe not, but you two have each other when one of you struggles with the memory. Rihanna insists on going through it alone, keeping it buried as though that will make it go away.”“We know,” Will agreed. “She won’t even discuss it with us.”“But you’re right, Chakotay,” Deanna affirmed.  “Will and I do have each other, and we experienced the incident together. If only she’d reach out to us or you even.”“I’m going to do this for her,” Chakotay insisted. “It’s the least I can do for her.”“When I say this, I’m not joking. I’m dead serious,” Will stated. “Welcome to our nightmare. If she goes through with Tuvok helping after the Kolopak is born, you’ll never be able to forget it.”“She has time to change her mind,” Deanna pointed out to the two men.“The idea is to keep her from changing her mind.” Chakotay reminded her.“Well, if she does do it,” Deanna began to offer, “We’ll watch the kids for you.  I’m sure Jean-Luc will enjoy having his cousins to play with.  However, I’d like to go with you and if I can help, I will.”“That would leave me with the kids,” Will said.Deanna gave him a look, “You can’t handle four kids?”“If you can find me some help…”“I would like to go with you and Rihanna,” Deanna insisted.“Thank you,” Chakotay replied and then asked, “How is Kestra doing?”“She’s an ensign now, serving in biometrics on the Snowbird. It’s a science vessel for Betazed.”“Nice.”“Yeah, she seems to enjoy it.”

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Chapter Twelve

Rihanna had Kolopak two weeks early, just shy of full term for a Betazoid and a little more than full term for a human.  Chakotay was beside himself because he didn’t think he would ever have a son.  Janeway arrived to see their new baby and thought he was adorable.“He has your eyes, Chakotay,” Janeway commented.“I think it’s a bit of a cross between Rihanna’s and mine, because I think his are slightly darker than mine.”“Well, he does look like you.”“Thank you.” Three months after Kolopak was born, Chakotay sat everything up with Tuvok and Beverly ended up joining them, instead of Doctor Selar.  She was needed on the White Dove and could not leave to help with Tuvok’s efforts to help Chakotay and Rihanna.Deanna and Will were more than happy to take care of their nieces and nephew while Chakotay took his still reluctant wife to see Tuvok. However, Janeway had offered to watch the children, especially since Deanna wanted to accompany her sister and brother-in-law with their endeavour. Deanna had helped her mother with a dark time in her life and she also thought that maybe it would do her some good also if she joined them.“Kolopak doesn’t sleep through the night yet,” Rihanna signed to Janeway as she spoke. “And he uses formula twenty-three, takes a nap around 1400, then sleeps again 2000 hours, and…”“It will be OK,” Janeway assured her, placing a hand on Rihanna’s shoulder in an effort to comfort her.  “It will be fun and if I have any problems, Will is still here to help me.  Not only that, but I also have captain a whole ship full of people. Not only that, Will is a captain, so there’s lots of experience. At least commanding a ship.  I think I can handle two little girls and a baby.”“Rihanna, stop stalling,” Chakotay encouraged her to depart.“I don’t know if I really want to do this,” she signed.  “Maybe Celesta should come too or maybe I need to stay with the baby a little longer.”Deanna sensed Rihanna’s reluctance and sent, “Rihanna, you know mother had a dark page in her life and it got so bad eventually, especially after many years of keeping the pain to herself concerning what happened, that her psilosynine levels were so depleted. We thought it was from communicating too much telepathically.  She went into a coma, yet there was no way the depletion of psilosynine would cause it. Mother’s paracortext was working overtime, while everything else shut down. If you continue to shove what happened into your meta-consciousness, you could very well end up suffering from the same thing mother did. I don’t want to see you go through that. You must deal with this somehow, even if the process is similar to the way I helped mother.”Rihanna replied, “I don’t really want to do this, but I will if everyone believes it will help, but if you’re there, you could sense what is going through my mind.”“I’ll be alright,” Deanna replied. “Besides, it could help me too, if it does and another Betazoid is there, it could help Tuvok, if he needs it.”
“It’s all still so painful.”
“I know it is.  I was there and I still feel it, but Will and I do sometimes talk about it. You don’t or won’t and need to, but since you’re not, something needs to be done. You can’t continue to torture yourself forever or you could end up suffering like mother did over Kestra.” Deanna sent.“I see your point,” Rihanna replied. Once on the shuttle craft, the three sat in the front together.“You know,” Deanna began a conversation, shifting uncomfortably in her seat, wondering if she was about to be too forward. “Ever since I saw Rihanna have a vision quest…”Chakotay told Rihanna what Deanna said to him, “You saw me?” Rihanna asked.“Yes, I just peaked in to check on my little sister.”“Oh.”“I wanted to experience one,” Deanna said.Chakotay looked at Rihanna and she nodded, knowing full well what he was thinking.“I could take you on a vision quest after we finish with Tuvok,” Chakotay told her.“It’s OK? I mean, I don’t know anything about it.”“I would be your guide,” Chakotay informed her.“I think I’d like that.”“I look forward to it,” Chakotay replied with a smile.

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Chapter Thirteen

“Will you two be OK while I’m gone?” Beverly asked again as she set her bag near the transporter.“Mom, we’ll be fine,” their son Jack said to them.  “Go help your friend.”“Jack’s right,” Jean-Luc stated. “We will be fine. Rihanna needs you and wants you there to help.”“She did request me specifically,” Beverly reminded them. “Chakotay had suggested Selar, but Rihanna wanted me, so I guess I should be there. That and I did help when Lwaxana ended up in a coma for doing the same thing Rihanna is trying to do.”“Yes, but the difference here is,” Jean-Luc reminded Beverly, “Everyone knows of the event which killed Lwaxana. No one knew Lwaxana had a daughter before Deanna. Rihanna can’t bury it as easily.”“Still,” Beverly began, “It doesn’t mean the end result won’t be the same if something isn’t done. Though I think the counselor needs a counselor. That was a very traumatic event, especially from what I saw of it.”“That’s where you come in, Mom, since she won’t talk about with anyone,” Jack stated. “So go help your friend. I can take care of Dad. It’s also not like you’re travelling from Betazed to Earth.  You’re just beaming from France to Starfleet Medical in San Fransico for a couple of days.”“Laris and Zhaban are also here, if we need any help,” Jean-Luc reminded her.  “So, we aren’t entirely alone.”Laris and Zhaban were out in the vineyard tending to the grapes but were aware that Beverly would be leaving for a couple of days to go to Starfleet Medical. They worked for the Picards for a few years, though Zhaban wasn’t doing well health wise for a year or two. Still, he continued to assist the Picards as much as he could.“You’re right,” Beverly agreed and then she hugged and kissed them both goodbye. “I’ll be back as soon as I know everyone involved is alright.”“Don’t worry about us,” Jean-Luc insisted. “Just take care of Rihanna.”“Love you two,” Beverly replied. “Wish us luck.” Then she beamed to San Fransico with her single suitcase.

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Chapter Fourteen

Rihanna, Chakotay, and Deanna eventually arrived on Earth and met Tuvok and Doctor Beverly Crusher at Starfleet Medical.“Hello, Rihanna,” Beverly signed and then gave her a hug.  She then greeted Deanna, giving her a hug. “Nice to see you again, Chakotay. Though I’m not quite sure why you want to put Rihanna through this, making her relive it so you can know what happened.”“It’s more than that,” Deanna chimed.  “You remember when Mother went into a coma while working with the Cairn, Marques was the link between Mother and me.”“How can I forget that?” Beverly asked. “Jean-Luc and I were talking about that before I left France.”“Well, Tuvok will do the same thing, only with Rihanna and Chakotay.”“I’m not in a coma like Mother was,” Rihanna signed.“No, but I, as well as Chakotay, fear if we don’t do something now and you continue down this road,” Deanna conveyed. “You’ll end up having the same thing happen.”“I think I understand,” Beverly stated. “However, I don’t understand Chakotay.”“I want to help her.”“But you are not a telepath,” Beverly told him.“No,” he confirmed, “But I can communicate with her telepathically because of our bond.”“I’m right here,” Rihanna suddenly said.“Sorry,” Beverly signed. “Do you want to do this?”“Not really,” Rihanna signed and then conceded, “But maybe Deanna is right. I could be risking the same fate as Mother if there ever is a trigger to put me into a coma, if I keep shoving it back to the recesses of my mind. I really don’t want to find out if I am, because then this will have to be done anyway. I really don’t want to talk about it though.  I can’t talk about it.”“Why don’t you just talk about it?” Beverly asked Rihanna. “See a counselor, something?”“I can’t,” Rihanna insisted angrily.“Can’t or won’t,” Beverly insistently asked in sign.Rihanna turned around and began to angrily walk away.“Oh no you don’t,” Chakotay sent to her as he grabbed her hand.  “You said you’d do this. Just look upon this as being like a vision quest.”“But it’s different, Chakotay,” Rihanna replied, avoiding his gaze.“Not really,” He sent. “I don’t see that much of a difference, except maybe more risks involved. That’s why we have Beverly and Deanna here.”
“What can Deanna do?”
Tuvok picked up on Rihanna’s question, “While I’m performing the mind meld, connecting the two of you, she can monitor both of your mental states. Meanwhile, Doctor Crusher monitors your physical states. At any time, there is a problem, with either one of you or myself, mentally or physically, Doctor Crusher can break the link or that is the hope.  A mind meld is rarely done with more than two people, so it will be a complicated process with me being the link between you, as I attempt to pull the memory from your mind to convey it to Chakotay.”“Let me get this straight,” Rihanna sent to Tuvok. “You’re going to mind melt with both of us, as link, and to do this, I must consent to you finding the memory I’m trying to bury?”
“Yes.”

“Then, you give this memory to Chakotay.”
“A more accurate term would be share, but that is the intent,” Tuvok confirmed. “However, just because you agree doesn’t mean it won’t be a difficult procedure, both medically and mentally for all three of us.”
“And who is more at risk here?”
“Logically, it would be you,” Tuvok stated flatly. “Though there are other variables, so in the event I am wrong, a doctor and extra telepath is needed as a safety precaution for all of us.”“Deanna isn’t a telepath,” Rihanna informed. “She’s an empath.”Deanna shot Rihanna a look, because of how Rihanna said it made her feel as though she were the inferior Betazoid.“Given you two are related,” Tuvok insisted. “She should suffice. She will only need to monitor our mental states, nothing more.”“It was nothing personal, Deanna,” Rihanna told her sister. “It’s just the truth, but only because we had different fathers. It’s not your fault.”Deanna still could not keep from frowning at the thought of being more human than her sister made her lesser than. She had to remind herself that it was not true, and her sister was only referring to the situation at hand.“Are we ready to proceed?” Tuvok asked everyone.Rihanna reluctantly nodded as the others agreed.“Let’s get this over with,” Rihanna signed.Beverly began, “If you and Chakotay lie down on the bio-beds, I will place a cortical monitor on the opposite side of where Tuvok places his hand on you. I’ll place one on both of you. I’ll also monitor your vitals, all while Tuvok does his thing.”The two lay down on the bio-beds, which were positioned close to each other.  Tuvok sat between the two beds and placed one hand on the side of Rihanna’s forehead.“My mind to your mind,” Tuvok said.Then he placed his other hand on the side of Chakotay’s, “My mind to your mind.”He then repeated the words again.“Rihanna is resistant,” Deanna informed Doctor Crusher.“Her heart rate and blood pressure are slightly elevated, but I’m not too concerned about it at this point.”“You are in no danger here. Beside you is your mate. Do not shut him out but let him in so he knows and understands your pain. My Daughter, you are safe here, nothing will ever harm you.” Aya, the mother of all the goddesses of Betazed said to Rihanna.“I’m not sure who’s voice Rihanna is hearing, but I feel it’s something important that happened before,” Deanna stated. “Of what, I’m not sure.”“Her heart rate and blood pressure have lowered somewhat,” Doctor Crusher informed Deanna.Rihanna relaxed slowly, but not completely.Chakotay also heard the voice he heard before, recognizing it from one of their vision quests. He also saw, in his mind, what Rihanna was seeing in her mind.A bobcat and her spirit father entered the picture. Then a screeching eagle soared into the picture, circling above in the sky.
“It was my fault. I shouldn’t have asked Mother to help me reach Geordi.”
“She’s still trying to keep from remembering what happened,” Deanna stated.“She’s tried for eight years to bury it,” said Beverly. “It can’t be easy.”
“
A-koo-chee-moya.”

“Give us the answers we seek.”

“You are in no danger here. Do not shut out your mate.”
“Maybe I was wrong and she’s not actually fighting it, or she has finally given in and decided to let the meld happen,” Deanna reported.
Suddenly,
a hand came smacking across Rihanna’s face with inhuman strength, sending her flying across the room.

“Shut up, you Betazoid bitch!” Came words from the past as she flew across the room.
Deanna flinched as she felt Rihanna’s strong emotions.“Her heart rate is increasing again,” said Beverly.
Suddenly, chaos happened everywhere all at once. Celesta fired a phaser at Geordi as Rihanna hit a wall with a non-corporeal being buffering her back and a non-corporeal bobcat buffering her pregnant body’s fall to the floor as pieces of the wall crumbled to the floor with her. Her medicine bag fell out of her blouse and dangled from her neck as she fell. By the time Rihanna hit the floor, with eyes wide open in shock, only blinking for a moment from the pain, Geordi’s non-Federation phaser burned through Lwaxana’s back and chest. Deanna ran for their mother, screaming “Mother!” as Lwaxana fell face down to the floor. At the same time, because Celesta missed and Geordi was taking aim at Deanna, Will fired at Geordi, knocking him unconscious as Deanna kneeled beside Lwaxana’s dead body.
Rihanna suddenly screamed with terror as she relived horror during the mind meld.Deanna gasped, as though she suddenly relived the experience also, though she could only feel Rihanna’s emotions and didn’t see what Rihanna was seeing. She remembered that day though and sensing Rihanna’s feelings brought it all back again.  Tears ran down her face.
After the fall and the final shot that left Geordi unconscious, the eagle swooped down and grabbed a hummingbird, scooping her away, as though he was taking the hummingbird to safety.
“We need to severe the link,” Beverly alerted them with urgency. “Her blood pressure, respiration, and heart rate are way too high.”Rihanna was unconscious on the bio-bed.“Tuvok!” Deanna shouted with tears in her eyes, as she felt her sister’s emotions and memories flash through her head. “We have to stop!”Tuvok withdrew from the mind meld as Chakotay laid with fright on his face, thinking, “I thought what the Cardassian did to me was a nightmare.” His hand reached over to his Walela’s hand in comfort, but she was still unconscious.Beverly ran over to Rihanna to run a tricorder over her even though there was no need to recheck the findings on the computer, “I think she’ll be alright. We need to let her rest.” Then she went over to run her tricorder over Chakotay. “I suggest you don’t get up any time soon either, but you’ll be alright.”“The spirits did save her life,” Chakotay said softly, still in shock and holding Rihanna’s hand. “And Taya too.”“Just rest, Chakotay,” Beverly repeated and then walked over to Deanna. “Are you OK, Deanna?”“Aside from feeling as though I just relived it all too, I’m fine,” she told her. “I felt everything Rihanna was feeling, and it felt just like that day all over again. I almost couldn’t breathe.”“I knew you were struggling with it too,” Beverly sympathized as she ran her tricorder over her. “I’m sorry.”“Rihanna blames herself, thinking she made a mistake trying to reach Geordi,” Deanna informed Beverly, not focusing on anything as she spoke. “Not once did she say word, refusing to talk about any of it. Meanwhile, Will and I were each other’s support. We were there and we knew how the other felt, and though it was very difficult, we slowly and painfully worked through it all, but Rihanna refused to talk. She couldn’t, wouldn’t talk about it. Not even to Chakotay and he wanted so desperately to listen and to help her work through it. Will told him, “Welcome to our nightmare” when he told us what he wanted to do and now he’s seen it. Only time will tell how they deal with it all.”“I must say,” Tuvok finally spoke, “It was most traumatic. She blames herself. I can understand asking a powerful telepath, who happens to be your mother, to help reach someone you love because an external being has control over the person you love. She did not consider that her telepathy combined with her mother’s telepathy could lead to someone dying at the hands of her husband. I literally felt her intense multitude of emotions. The most intense being pure horror, which did not come from a friend, but from a lover, which is worse. Even though Geordi was controlled by Cardassians, the mind cannot separate the two with such a horrifying act.”“He’s right,” Deanna gasped. “I never considered it before, and I should have. She even said she could not stay with him because the memory of him killing Mother will always be there, despite knowing someone controlled him.Will and I only think of Geordi as a close friend. He was more than that to Rihanna, just as Chakotay is. I can see why she feels she failed, as well as trauma, horror and so many other emotions. It must be hard not being able to talk to anyone about it, not even a new lover who wants to help.”Rihanna was slowly waking up and started to return Chakotay’s grasp. Taking a deep breath, she turned her head to face him and smiled lovingly, but weakly.Beverly went over to Rihanna to scan her again. “Her vitals are returning to normal levels again.”Chakotay felt her hand tighten around his hand and looked at her, gently sending to her mind, “I understand,” he told her, almost regretting he put her through the mind meld. “Are you alright?”“It’ll never go away, but I’ll be fine, eventually,” she said slowly sitting up on the bed.Beverly put a hand on Rihanna to caution her.He sat up also and got off the bio-bed to hug Rihanna as she sat on her bed, “I’ll be here. I don’t know if it makes it easier now that I know what happened, but if you ever want to talk about it…”She put her head against his chest and began to cry, not saying a word.Doctor Crusher scan Chakotay again too. “Everything seems to be within normal again,” she told Commander Chakotay. “You can take her home when you’re ready.”Chakotay nodded and then telepathically sent to Rihanna, “It’s not your fault, Walela.”“Hopefully,” Beverly began with sympathy in her voice, “This was of help to her, bringing it back to the forefront of her mind again.”Deanna waited quietly for Rihanna and Chakotay.  She knew it was difficult for her sister, but if it prevented her from suffering like Mother did concerning Kestra, it would be worth it.After a few minutes, the three left Starfleet Medical and returned to where they were staying, with plans to return to Betazed the next morning.

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Chapter Fifteen

“Chakotay,” Deanna began as the three of them were setting around a table enjoying an evening meal, “About that vision quest…”“We could do it now,” Chakotay stated, as Rihanna watched their lips, trying to follow their conversation. “If you like.”“Well, yes, but…” Deanna began, “I thought maybe Rihanna could be the guide for me.”“Rihanna?” Chakotay asked her as he looked towards Rihanna.“I’ve never guided anyone on a vision quest before,” Rihanna signed.She was still rather quiet since the mind meld, but otherwise seemed fine to both Deanna and Chakotay. “Seemed” was the key word though.  She spent the evening reading Chakotay’s lips as he told Deanna he saw Rihanna’s spirit father and animal guide protecting her and unborn Taya during the mind meld.  However, she never saw it and yet, he never mentioned a word about Aya, the goddess of Betazed. It was all about his spirits.“No,” agreed Chakotay, signing to her. “But you know how to do a vision quest and probably better than I can because you suggested we bring in the use of smudging before going on a quest.”“No, I asked why you didn’t use it,” she signed. “Then you taught me how to smudge.”“I was surprised you know the word,” he told her and Deanna.“I don’t know,” she replied aloud, feeling a bit frustrated because no one was including her in the conversation, leaving her to read their lips and using her telepathy, which was a difficult task. “I just heard it somewhere.”“Why is it you want Rihanna to guide you on a vision quest?” Chakotay asked Deanna.“There was,” Deanna tried to articulate something that she sensed or heard while Rihanna was under the meld. “Well, I didn’t hear everything, but I did hear something or someone calling Rihanna “My daughter”, but I didn’t quite recognize the voice and it made me curious.”“Aya, the mother of all Betazoid goddesses, yet all of them in one,” Rihanna informed her telepathically.“What?” Deanna asked.Rihanna shook her head, “On one of the first quests with Chakotay, actually the Bonding, my father and Aya were there.”“That’s what I want to understand,” Deanna sent to her. “Not why they were there, but who they are and if finding this out means going on a vision quest then...”“Deanna, I don’t know if…”“No, if she wants to seek answers about Aya,” Chakotay began, while signing, even though he managed to hear Rihanna’s side of their telepathic conversation. “I see no problem. She’s seeking answers about something that is part of Betazoid culture, which is a part of her.”“I’m willing, but this will be my first time,” Rihanna signed, wondering why he didn’t acknowledge such things to her very often. “Chakotay, can you at least supervise in case I screw up?”“I’ll be there, if you need me, but you can do this.”“I must tell you, Deanna,” Rihanna alerted her telepathically. “As strange as it may sound, in the spirit realm, I can hear just as you hear in this realm.”“That’s impossible! You’re profoundly deaf,” Deanna exclaimed with doubt.“No, it’s not.” Rihanna insisted. “As hard as it is to believe, I hear in that realm.”
 
Rihanna gathered the items for the vision quest and the smudge. Chakotay had exchanged the ugly clay smudge bowl for a shell that shined with many colours.  Rihanna just loved how the colours glistened when the light hit the shell.She pulled her medicine bag that hung around her neck out of her shirt as she sent, “Since you don’t have a medicine bag, I’ll use mine to ground us. It has a small replica of the Holy Rings of Betazed, which I placed in there after Mother died. The rose petal and hummingbird feather are from Chakotay, and they might not define you, but the Holy Rings of Betazed you can relate to and concentrate on during the vision in lieu of a medicine bag.”  Then she sat the Akoonah between them.“I love the smell of the sweetgrass and sage,” Rihanna sent to Deanna. “It’s sort of like incense, but it’s not.  The sweetgrass, which is said to be the hair of Mother Earth, is for peace of mind, purifying our thoughts and the sage clears the soul, giving a calming effect. I find it very relaxing personally.”She lit the sage and sweetgrass then sat them in the shell, waving an eagle feather over them.  As the smoke grew, she sent some of the smoke towards Deanna and then towards Chakotay. Finally, she smudged herself by fanning the smoke in her direction.After that, she sat the shell down in front of them, explaining, “Smudging gives us a connection between our thoughts and feelings that flow through us and throughout the spirit world.  The smoke lifts away negative feelings as it carries our prayers up to the Creator. It is believed that the sacred medicine heals the mind, body, and spirit.”She then showed Deanna what to do next as she sent, “First you address your head by bringing the smoke of the sage and sweetgrass towards your head for good thoughts. Your eyes are next to clear you vision, your mouth to say good things, then your heart for positive emotions, insight, and lovingkindness. Finally, the body for wisdom.”Deanna repeated what she said, finding the concepts fascinating. After Deanna finished, Rihanna moved the shell of burning sage and sweetgrass between them, allowing it to burn out on their own, as she thanked the Creator for allowing the gifts of medicine to help heal the mind, body, and spirit.Then Rihanna began the vision quest, asking Deanna to concentrate on the Holy Rings because they have meaning to her, as they laid their hands on the Akoonah. Using the words Chakotay taught her, "A-koo-chee-moya. We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. We are far from the bones of my people, but we ask that you give us the answers we seek.”Eventually, Deanna entered a different realm in which she heard birds singing and a waterfall that looked like Janaran Falls, once she spotted the source of the sound.“It looks like Betazed,” Deanna gasped.“One of yours and Will’s favourite views on Betazed?”A bit startled to hear Rihanna sound as though she had not been deaf for the last several years, Deanna finally replied, “Yes, and birds are singing.”“I know. It’s a beautiful sound.”“Yes, I don’t have to describe the sounds, do I?”“No, that’s what I like about vision quests, as strange as they may seem.”A woman and two men appeared before Deanna and Rihanna, who was guiding her through the vision.  “Father?” Deanna asked puzzled as she studied one of the men before them.“Yeah, it can get weird,” Rihanna told her, “But just go with it and not worry about any walk on the dark side.”“Yes, I am Ian Troi, you father.”“And you’re Rihanna’s father,” Deanna noted concerning the other man. “This is weird. I understand my father, but why you?”“I’m the link for you, all that is Betazed, and all that is Native,” Rihanna’s father informed Deanna.“I don’t know what that has to do with me.”“Everything, because she’s your sister.”“OK, and you?” She addressed the woman. “You sort of look like our grandmother.”“My Daughter, I am all the goddesses of Betazed in one. I am Aya, the mother of all the goddesses of Betazed.”“I don’t remember Mother saying much about the goddesses of Betazed, but she often thanked the ‘gods of Betazed’.”“She knew of us, but you never asked,” Aya stated.“So, you were the one who spoke to my sister during the mind meld?”“Yes,” Aya said.  “She needs to open up to her husband and to you too.”Rihanna was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.“I think her Imzadi bond with Chakotay is better than mine is with my Imzadi,” Deanna stated.  “She’d do well to talk to him, but she hasn’t, won’t, or can’t.”“Not true,” Aya insisted. “Yours is strong with your husband too, otherwise when your husband left, you would have never been in the right place to work things out with him, even though the Shapeshifters set it up as a trap. Good came out of it and you’re still together. You work on your relationship, just as your sister does hers. Trust me, it’s just as strong, just different.”“Maybe, but how did you know about my husband leaving and the Changelings kidnapping me to take me where he was?”“This realm knows many things,” said Aya.“Well, she still does better than I have.”“Don’t be envious of your sister. Be with your mate.  Imzadi is enduring. Imzadi is everlasting. Imzadi is an unbreakable bond. Imzadi is eternal.  Imzadi is forever.”With that, Deanna left the spirit realm, but Rihanna was still there and suddenly saw Lwaxana.“Rihanna dear,” she said with concern and affection. “You must not blame yourself. Let it go, live your life, and be happy with Chakotay.”Suddenly, she screamed, “Mother!”Chakotay jumped up and caught her chair she sat in before she hit her head on the wall behind her, as she began to hyperventilate.“Rihanna!” both Chakotay and Deanna shouted, as though she could hear them.She did not stop hyperventilating.“Maybe we need to go back in?” Deanna suggested.“No, too soon. Get her some water, Deanna,” Chakotay barked as he tried to comfort Rihanna.  “Breathe, Rihanna. Take some deep breaths.”She complied and tried to take deep breaths, by the time Deanna returned with some water, Rihanna’s breathing was under control, but she was rocking back and forth, very disturbed by what she saw.“Here, drink this,” Deanna tried to give Rihanna the glass of water, but she did not take it.“Rihanna, look at me,” Chakotay sent to her. “Look at me.” She wouldn’t look at him.  She just stared out into space.Suddenly, he scooped her up out of the chair to take her back to their room.“Chakotay,” Deanna insisted as he carried Rihanna into their room, “Let me help.”“I can take care of her, Deanna,” Chakotay insisted. “Just get some sleep. We’ll be going home in the morning.”He entered their room and laid her on their bed, and she signed, “Mistake made I what?”“You didn’t do anything wrong that I know of,” Chakotay sent as he closed the door to their room. Then he turned around and signed “Talk to me.”She just laid there and didn’t say anything as she starred up at the ceiling, lost in her own mind.“Please, Rihanna. Talk to me. Tell me what you saw?” Chakotay sent to her.Silence.“Rihanna, I watched everything you did,” he sent. “I didn’t notice anything major by way of a mistake.  You did well for your first time of being a guide. Maybe explained more than I would have, but you did well.”Nothing. He could see she was just staring at the ceiling, in silence.
“Rihanna, tell me what you saw and maybe I can help you with it.”
Before he fell asleep, his last thought was, “Must be so easy to get lost in one’s mind when you are deaf.” Even though he slept lightly that night, he did not know if she ever slept that night.

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Chapter Sixteen

The next morning, Deanna asked Chakotay, as he was gathering up Rihanna’s medicine bag, “Has she said anything yet.”“Not a word.”“Chakotay, let me talk to her.”“No, I can take care of her,” he insisted. “I let her be your guide, she’s my responsibility.”“I don’t know if this is a man thing, needing to care for his wife or an Indian thing, but she’s my sister,” Deanna said angrily. “My vision was Betazoid in nature, though her father said he was the link between Betazed and Native. The last thing we heard her scream was ‘Mother!’ So, I had a part in this too. Let me help.”Chakotay looked at her with resignation. “OK, you try to talk to her, and I’ll load our bags onto the shuttlecraft so we can leave.”Deanna started heading towards their bedroom when Chakotay stopped her, “Deanna.”She turned around to face him.“Give her this,” he said as he handed her Rihanna’s medicine bag.Deanna took it from him and then proceeded to talk to her sister. Deanna entered the other room and sent to Rihanna, “OK so you won’t talk to your husband, maybe you’ll talk to me.”Nothing.
“If it helps any, Chakotay told me to bring you this.”
Rihanna looked to see what Deanna was giving her and took her medicine bag from her sister.  As Rihanna placed it around her neck again, Deanna continued to talk to her telepathically.“Let’s begin again, what was it you saw that upset you so badly?”“Saw Mother,” Rihanna signed.
“That upset you?”
“Not upset,” she signed.
“OK, then what did she say or do?”
“Nothing.  Everything.”Deanna rolled her eyes. “Well, at least you’re up to two-word signs.” She paused as she observed her sister.  “Not to sound like mother, but use your mind, not your hands.”Rihanna just glared at her angerly.“Ever since the vision quest, you’ve been pushing Chakotay and me away,” Deanna stated. “You’ve closed your mind, so that not even I know what you’re thinking.  We really want to know what happened.”“Home now,” she angrily signed before walking out the bedroom door.Chakotay walked in again to see Rihanna walking out of the room. “Any luck?” He asked Deanna.“Well, she’s up to two signs at a time.”“Has she always been this way when she didn’t want to talk about something?” Chakotay inquired as they walked out the room behind Rihanna.Rihanna let her walls down for a moment and sense what he said. Then she turned around and signed, “You always contrary.” Then she put her walls up again and walked out of the door to board the shuttlecraft.“What was that last sign,” he asked Deanna.“I think it was ‘contrary’.”“She’s read my Starfleet record,” he chuckled. “I think we’re up to the that spunk I loved about her the first time we met.  Seems like an improvement to me.”“Whatever it is,” Deanna smiled at his appreciation of her sister’s remark. “Anything is an improvement over last night.”“Well, as of now, her highness is ready to return home,” Chakotay gestured towards the shuttlecraft.As they walked out of the house they were staying in, Deanna asked, “Maybe the better question is, is she always like this after a vision quest?”Chakotay paused, thinking about past vision quests they took, and then looking at Deanna, “No, actually she’s often confused by them, even has said the quest was weird more often than not.”“Maybe we weren’t looking at an emotional shutdown last night or even anger today,” Deanna stated thoughtfully.  “Maybe she’s extremely bewildered to the point it looks like shock, fear, even anger.”“Then she should be talking to me,” Chakotay insisted as he walked out of the house. “She knows I can help.”“I don’t know,” Deanna shook her head, following him onto the shuttlecraft. “I’ll keep trying to see if she’ll tell me anything at all and then let you know if I find out anything.”“We’ll be on the shuttlecraft for about three days,” Chakotay informed Deanna as he sat in the pilot seat. “If she still isn’t talking by the time we arrive at Betazed…”“What?” Deanna asked.Chakotay shook his head and looked a bit sad, “I don’t know. All of this may have been for nothing.”“I wouldn’t say that,” Deanna insisted.  “Not yet at least.”Chakotay started the engines, and they began their trip back to Betazed.“Rihanna, please tell me what happened that upset you so badly?” Deanna sent.“Not upset,” Rihanna signed.
“OK, then what would you call it.”
Rihanna sat thinking for a few moments and then signed, “Don’t know.”“Now we’re back to one sign?  You won’t talk to me telepathically and you can’t define your feelings,” Deanna remarked. “You seem better than last night, but you still won’t talk about what it was concerning Mother that disturbed you so badly.”“Not disturbed,” Rihanna insisted with signed.Deanna sighed. “How can I help you?”“Let me be with my own thoughts,” Rihanna growled in her deaf Betazoid accent.“Seven words,” Chakotay noted hearing his wife up to the pilot seat.  “You got even more than what I got out of her last night. Almost twice as much.”Deanna moved up to the seat beside him, “Maybe I was onto something earlier. It could very well be that after everything that happened yesterday, whatever vision she had after I left it, was so overwhelming for her, despite it only being a few seconds, that she fell silent. Not because it frightened her or upset her though. She’s been in her own thoughts ever since due to being so overwhelmed. Yesterday was a lot for her, maybe even a little too much.”“I can see that,” Chakotay stated. “She had the mind meld and then we encouraged her to guide you in a vision quest. The first time she ever guided anyone and then she saw Lwaxana in her own vision. That would give anyone a lot to think about, if not regress in one’s thoughts.”“But what did Mother say to her?”“That’s a good question,” Chakotay replied. “We’ll just have to wait until she wishes to tell us.”“I actually don’t think she expected to see Mother in a vision,” Deanna declared. “In fact, she didn’t expect a vision at all, since she was guiding me. It must be overwhelming, if not shocking, especially after the mind meld.”“If she saw her father, who she didn’t remember,” Chakotay inquired. “What makes you think she would not expect her mother?”“Didn’t she say she had her doubts about vision quests?”“Yes, but she does them, alone and with me.”“Seems to me, she’s seeking something,” Deanna explained. “And seeking something anyway she possibly can, even if she is agnostic about it.”“Now, after the initial shock of whatever happened,” Chakotay finished putting the pieces of the puzzle together, “She’s in deep thought, wanting us to leave her alone.”“Precisely,” Deanna concurred. “Except, maybe alone until she’s ready to come to us or at least one of us and she can articulate what is on her mind.”“So, you’re saying we should wait her out?” Chakotay inquired.“Yes.”“OK, then is there anything you want to talk about concerning your quest that she guided you on?”“I was near Janaran Falls on Betazed. Both our fathers were there,” Deanna informed him. “As I said, her father was the tie to both worlds, so he said. Then there was Aya, she said that Rihanna needed to be more open to you and probably me too. That’s when Rihanna started to appear uncomfortable. Why I don’t know.”“What did you do?”“I changed the subject to what I wished to inquire about, and it appears Aya knew about the Changeling, who kidnapped me, the dispute between Will and me, as well as other Changelings and Borg, except she called it a shapeshifter. I’m not sure how she knew about even the fight between Will and me around that time, but she did. Shortly after that, she said something about Imzadi being an everlasting, eternal, enduring, unbreakable bond and I was no longer in the Spirit realm.”“After that was when Rihanna, apparently, started having her own vision.”“Yes,” Deanna confirmed.Chakotay appeared to be attempting to put the rest of the pieces together. “So, you were on Betazed, with both fathers.”“Yes.”“They spoke of me and you, in relationship to her and then you changed the subject to Imzadi. When that was complete, you left, but she stayed,” Chakotay pondered the vision.“What are you thinking?” Deanna asked him.“I don’t know, but if Lwaxana showed up to her after all of that,” he theorized, “After everything she experienced yesterday. Whatever she said, would be, for Rihanna, very overwhelming at that moment.”“The missing piece,” Deanna realized, “Is what she said to Rihanna.”“Must not blame yourself,” Rihanna said aloud staring out into space.“What?” Chakotay asked turning around to face Rihanna.“Let it go.”“I don’t understand,” Chakotay stated confused. “Let go of what?”Deanna replied, “I think she’s telling us, albeit slowly and disjointed.”“Live your life.”“Is she telling us to let it go and live our lives?”“No, I truly believe she’s telling us what Mother said.”“Be happy.”There was another pause and then she finished the statement, “With Chakotay.”“I’m not so sure what was so bad about that,” Chakotay seemed elated, as though he got a mother’s blessing.“It’s not,” Deanna stated, “but she didn’t say a word about…” She stopped as though saying Geordi’s name would hurt the human heart, even though Rihanna already said she could not stay with Geordi, despite still loving him, wondering when the next time his implant would be tampered with by an enemy. To “let it go” would probably mean letting go of the past with someone else. Someone, who she thought was her Imzadi, but was not and who traumatized her greatly by unwillingly killing one of the most important persons in her life.  Then Deanna finally said, “Mother was telling her to let go of what happened, not blame herself, and to live her life, happily, with you.”“Seems to me,” Chakotay began with a smile, “I got Lwaxana’s blessing postmortem.”“I can’t disagree,” Deanna said, as she went back to where Rihanna sat and asked telepathically, “Are you OK?”“I will be,” Rihanna replied, using her mind, instead of her hands. “I don’t know.”“I don’t understand,” Deanna asked her sister.“I don’t know if I wanted to see her,” Rihanna stated. “Or if it was a vision.”“I can’t answer that,” Deanna stated. “Except with psychology.”“Yes, psychologically, I understand,” she paused. “I have the same education you do. Maybe I saw her because I miss her and because I know what I need to do.”
“Is that what this was about since that moment?”
“It’s weird, but I had to think,” she sent her thoughts to Deanna. “Find a rational, maybe even a scientific answer, I don’t know but it’s the only one I can think of, but what do I say to Chakotay? I think I saw her because psychologically… I can’t say that to him. Yet, weirdness has been the name of the game when it comes to his vision quests. I know the steps, the whys, the beliefs, and all to vision quests, but I can’t figure out the science, the psychology. Yet, there are strange coincidences, like during the ‘Bonding’ vision, Aya said I’d give birth to a daughter. Seven weeks later, we found out I was pregnant, but… Was that psychological? If what happened last night was psychological, am I that traumatized from what happened?”
“Well, maybe,” Deanna began, “Maybe, just as you said when you guided me in my vision quest, you do the same with Chakotay, “Just go with it.” Right now, he thinks he got Mother’s blessing postmortem concerning marrying you. It makes him happy, so let him believe it, just go with it and stop dwelling on it. And for what it’s worth, it’s been very hard getting over what happened.  Will and I were there, and we do sometimes talk about it, privately. I know it’s not the same for us, because Geordi was more than a friend to you and Chakotay wasn’t there to see what happened. He knows now, so maybe he understands more than you think he does.”
“Yet he believes the spirits protected me that night,” Rihanna told her sister. “I don’t know if they did or not, but he’s not talked much about the Betazoid side. He hardly ever talks about the Betazoid part, not even when it’s in a vision quest. It’s always the Native side, but the Betazoid side is there.”“He truly believes that spirits protected you,” Deanna agreed. “I think maybe he believes that because he wasn’t there. Whether it’s true or not, let him have that, because it makes him feel better for not being there sooner and if he had been, things might have been worse.”“You’re right.” Rihanna agreed, knowing Deanna still was not understanding.  “He also believes that our children are a gift from the spirits, despite the research coming out about nanites. That and it was Aya who predicted them.”“You may have to let him have that belief too,” Deanna sent.  “It makes him happy to believe that.  The question is, what do you believe?”“I know his rituals and what he’s told they mean, but I don’t know if I believe what he believes, at least not entirely.  I don’t believe all the Betazoid beliefs either, but I do believe he is my true Imzadi.” She sent.  “It’s just…”
“And stop blaming yourself for Mother’s death.  She wanted to help you reach Geordi. She tried and tragically it failed, but it wasn’t your fault Geordi was forced to kill her because of what the Cardassians did to his implant.”
“Did I say that just now?” Getting a bit frustrated again.“No, but I sensed something just now,” Deanna told her.  “That and what you said Mother said you to you.”“Really, I’m fine,” Rihanna insisted as she felt that Deanna didn’t hear everything she was trying to say or even everything that was bothering her. Rihanna was not oblivious to the fact that Chakotay kept talking about ‘the spirits’ and not a word about Aya, ever since the mind meld, just like the Bonding. It was always the Native part of their relationship and not the Betazoid part, yet her sister wanted her to let him have his beliefs, without a care about the Betazoid side of their relationship. Then her sister wondered why I even closed her out of her mind. “Maybe I should have just stayed silent,” she thought to herself, blocking Deanna out of her thoughts.“Just sit here and rest,” Deanna told her sister with a smile. “Think some more, if you want. I’ll try to get Chakotay to stop fretting over you.”“Thanks,” Rihanna sent, not knowing whether to be angry or what. Just as she didn’t always hear others, they didn’t seem to hear her. She sighed, as Deanna started to leave.“Oh, and,” Deanna added before going to the front of the shuttle, “I did get one thing out my vision quest.  Something that I knew already but hadn’t thought about in a long time. ‘Imzadi is eternal. Imzadi is enduring. Imzadi is everlasting. Imzadi is an unbreakable bond, though you still need to work at it, and most of all Imzadi is forever.’Rihanna smiled with a note of sarcasm mixed with obviousness in her telepathic voice and on her face. “There’s that unbreakable bond we Betazoids keep talking about, but he’s never acknowledged that even when we were on a ship full of Betazoids. It’s always the spirits.”“I’ll be back to check on you later,” Deanna said, sensing there was something more wrong with her sister than just that day Mother died, but not actually saying.Deanna returned to the front and sat in the seat beside Chakotay, “It’s going to take some time, but I think she’s going to be alright.”“Well,” he began. “At least she’s talking to you.”“Give her time,” Deanna insisted. “I think she will be talking to you soon too, but keep in mind Betazoids don’t necessarily voice their thoughts like humans.”“We’ve been communicating telepathically since we the spirits bonded us.”“That’s not quite what I mean,” Deanna told him.  “Sometimes it’s not sent in words, especially if we struggle to articulate what’s on our minds. She’s still struggling to articulate it and I also think there’s a lot more on her mind than she’s telling me too. Things that she hasn’t shared with you yet, but may, if you’re patient with her.”“Maybe,” he replied.“Just curious,” Deanna began.  “You said spirits. The way Rihanna tells it, the goddess of all Betazoids was there too.”“Yes, she was,” he said. “I don’t know what you are getting at.”“Nothing,” Deanna replied as she started to wonder if that was what Rihanna wasn’t saying or couldn’t articulate well, but there was obviously a barrier between them.  “Just asking.”

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Chapter Seventeen

They were finally home again in the Troi mansion.  It was a big house, but it served everyone well while as both couples were trying to figure out what they were going to do.  Deanna had been encouraging Rihanna to give up the house, but she did not make any move in that direction.Rihanna and Deanna were in the kitchen drinking hot cocoa discussing the house when Chakotay walked in, “How is everyone this evening?” Knowing well Rihanna did not catch what he said as he headed to the replicator to get himself something to drink, “Water, cold.”“Maybe I should leave you two alone,” Deanna volunteered.“I didn’t mean for you two…”“It’s fine, Chakotay,” Deanna said as she left the room. “Rihanna can discuss it more tomorrow.”
“Why do I take that as a que that either you want to talk, or she wants us to talk?”
“Maybe it’s both,” Rihanna sent.  “You’ve been wanting me to talk to you.”
“Do you want to talk?”
Rihanna sighed. “I don’t think I can, even though you know now.”“Mommy,” Taya walked into the kitchen and touched Rihanna’s shoulder. Then she signed when Rihanna turned around to see her, “Can’t sleep.”Rihanna cradled her chin on her three closed middle fingers with her pinkie and thumb standing up on either side of her chin, signing, “What’s wrong?”“You OK, Mommy?” she signed.“Oh honey,” she sent to her daughter’s mind. “Yes, fine,” she signed to her daughter.“Sure?” Taya signed.“Yes,” Rihanna told her daughter.“Heard Daddy say he take you to get help,” Taya signed, trying to use ASL format.Rihanna looked up at her husband.“I didn’t tell her,” he insisted. “She may have overheard me talking to Will and Deanna, maybe even Kathryn.”“I OK,” Rihanna signed to her daughter. “Saw doctor. Better now.”“Don’t worry about your mother,” Chakotay told his daughter.  “She’s fine, now you head for bed and let the grownups talk.”“OK,” said Taya and then she headed back to bed after giving Rihanna and Chakotay a hug and kiss goodnight.“Don’t wake your sister,” Chakotay told her as they watched her leave the kitchen.“Why don’t we go upstairs too,” Rihanna sent.
“I thought you wanted to talk?”

“Can’t we talk upstairs?”
“Whatever you want,” Chakotay sent to her as they walked out of the kitchen. Once upstairs and in their room, Rihanna wrapped her arms around him and held him, sending him an image that was seared into her mind for over eight years.Chakotay pushed her back, but not away and sent, “I thought you wanted to talk?”She looked as though she were about to cry and then Chakotay remembered what Deanna said.  It dawned on him she was trying to communicate, “Oh, I’m such an idiot.”“In my head for years and I’ve tried to push it away, because I don’t want to keep seeing it.”  She sent to him.  “On one hand I know it’s not my fault, but I still feel…”He pulled her close and hugged her. It was then he saw the image of Lwaxana being shot with a phaser from back to front then falling to the floor more clearly. “Is that what you’ve lived with all this time and blamed yourself for?”Rihanna nodded as tears ran down her face.Chakotay held her close.
“If I hadn’t asked her to help me…”
“Hey, she wanted to help you,” he kissed the top of her head.  “Look at it this way, if one of our daughters asked you to help them or even Lydia or Laura, for that matter, wouldn’t you help even if it meant your life?”There was a brief silence and then Rihanna sent, “I would.”“You have to let this go,” he told her.  “That’s why your mother came to you in a vision and told you not to blame yourself, to let it go.  You really need to let it go for your sake.”There was a silence and then Chakotay sent again, “You know, and you might not believe this, but when I saw what happened that fateful night, I noticed, you did have a couple buffers.”She looked at him puzzled.“I know you didn’t see it, but from what I saw of the events,” he told her. “Your father was between you and the wall, softening the blow a little and then your animal guide kept your pregnant belly from hitting the floor hard that night.”She looked at him with skepticism, pulling back from him she signed, “I don’t understand how that’s possible.  I never felt anything except hitting the wall and floor.”
“You could have hit the wall and floor a lot harder if they weren’t there.”
“How could you have seen that from what Tuvok got from me of that day?” She signed after pushing him away.
“I understand you question the spirits, even your animal guide, and that’s fair, but I’m telling you they were there that night.”
“So that I can take my mother’s place?” She exaggeratedly signed with sarcasm.“No, I prayed to them, before Voyager returned to the Alpha Quadrant, asking them to keep you and Taya safe,” he sent to her with frustration. “They obviously did.”She remembered Deanna telling her to let him have that belief since it made him feel better about not being there.“OK, so they were there,” she signed in resignation.He pulled her back and hugged her again, “Maybe you don’t believe in the spirits like I do, and that’s OK, but I know you accept some things, like the foreshadowing of our children.  You accept them almost as much as you accept that we are true Imzadi. Of course, you may accept Betazoid beliefs more because that’s how you were raised, I don’t know.”“I question the existence of the gods of Betazed,” she admitted pushing away from him again. “But the foreshadowing of our children was done by Aya, the goddess of Betazed, not your spirits, and I do believe we are truly Imzadi, which is enduring, eternal, everlasting, forever, and unbreakable.  Thing is, not once in our relationship have you acknowledge Betazoid beliefs, not even on a ship full of Betazoids.”“What do you mean?” He asked confused.“Do you truly believe this communication between us,” she used both hands in a “c” moving back and forth opposite of one another between the two of them, then placed her thumb between forefinger and middle finger of one hand moving that hand back and forth between them as she said it. “Was done completely by your spirits alone, when the Goddess of Betazed was there representing Betazoids and my father, who was half Betazoid were there too? Could it have been done in collaboration? Or is it coincidence? Not only that, who protected my sister?”“Will stunned Geordi,” he replied still a bit uncertain.“All by himself from almost the top of the stairs?” she asked with that spunkiness in her that he admired the first time they met. “That’s a real feat given the distance between him and Geordi. Think about it. There’s not just one answer to our relationship.  Just like at our Spirit Bonding, as you love to call it, maybe the gods of Betazed were there that fateful day too.  Maybe no one’s gods or spirits were there that night Geordi killed Mother, and it was just dumb luck or skill Will stunned Geordi.”“I really am an idiot,” Chakotay stated again sighing. “Is that what you’ve been so deep into your own mind about that you weren’t talking to anyone?”“I’ve come to the conclusion, that both are right in combination,” she told him. “Or none are correct, but I do know one thing for sure, it’s not all your spirits.”“I’m really sorry,” he apologized. “I really have been doing that haven’t I?”“Almost from the start of our relationship and it was at its worse on the White Dove. I know Deanna thinks I should just let you have your beliefs, because it makes you feel better,” she informed him. “But I AM BETAZOID and it’s not fair to our children when they come from two different worlds. I just don’t see how you can serve on a ship full of Betazoids, who talk about an unbreakable bond with some even believing the myth of two houses without at least once acknowledging both our cultural teachings? I don’t even understand how you could ignore the Betazoid part of our bonding, for that matter.”
“Even Deanna said her quest was Betazoid in nature and briefly questioned me about that. In a way, I guess I was really shoving my beliefs and culture down everyone’s throats when I insisted on going to Dorvan V, ignoring what kind of ship I was commanding.”
She gave him a look that said, “You think?”“I really do deserve this,” he said to himself. “You must really hate me. If it’s not too late for us,” he sent to her mind, “teach me more about Betazoids beliefs and I’ll try not to push mine as much.”“I don’t hate you, Chakotay. I enjoy learning your ways, but it can’t be one-sided.  It must be both for us and our family. If you are serious about learning Betazoid ways, your first lesson is Imzadi is an unbreakable bond that is eternal and enduring that last forever,” she told him, “Our souls are one, connected, due to our bonding, but regardless that relationship still needs work. We are one, but we come from two different worlds joined together but we can’t be...” She connected her forefinger and thumb together wrapping the other forefinger and thumb around them, moving it back and forth with the other fingers pointing up between them, “Unless we…” she pulls them apart and then rejoins them together. “Combine both together. It can’t be one or the other.”“I think I understand what you’re saying,” he told her. “Just like I can’t focus just on my needs and wants, I also can’t just focus on my beliefs and culture, if our relationship is going to work.”
“Exactly. The second lesson is, never push a Betazoid woman in the Phase aside for some useless artifacts, because she might feel rejected.”
Then she kissed him, pushing him down on the bed with a voracious invitation.  Knowing she was in the last stages of the Phase; he was not too surprised by her aggression.  In fact, he had become accustomed to it, if she was not on the receptive end.  If he started something, she practically melted in his arms.Her moist silky lips enveloped his warm, full, throbbing lips.  Her tongue found his and they darted back and forth into each other’s mouths like a dance.After opening his shirt, her tongue slid down his sultry tan skin and over his muscular chest, only stopping to suckle and tease each of his nipples with her tongue. She caressed his swelling manhood as she teased each nipple, undoing his pants and releasing his engorged masculinity.Then she slid her tongue down to the ripple contours of his stomach, leading her to his growing erection.  Her mouth enveloped his swollen staff, working it with her mouth and then she caressed it with her tongue.Chakotay groaned with pleasure, grabbing her head after a few moments, pulling her up to his mouth, rolling her over onto her back, and began pleasuring her.As he explored her mouth with his tongue, he began removing her dress and caressing her moist hot womanhood with his hand.She moaned with desire, “Imzadi,” she purred in his mind as her body begged for him.He slid her underwear down and one of his fingers slid into her moist folds as his mouth slid down to one of her breasts, teasing the supple nipple with his tongue. His finger moved inside her fiery furnace, driving her crazy with desire, begging for more of him.He teased the other breast and then his tongue teased every nerve in her radiant tan skin down to the entrance of her hot femininity. His tongue tormented her swollen clitoris, causing her to move with yearning in rhythm with his tongue.Then his hot moist tongue plunged into her womanhood, “Oh Chaw-koe-tay," she moaned aloud with agonized gasps. The exotic way she said his name excited him more as her hips moved in time to his pulsating tongue.Unwilling to torment her and himself any longer his hands moved up to grasp hers as his body slid up her inflamed skin. The hard pulse of his arousal caressed her warm damp entrance, teasing her more, causing urgent desire for more of him.Then his pulsating staff plunged deep into the center of her womanhood, where she ached most for fulfilment. She arched upward, answering his thrusting hips, then wrapping her legs around his back causing him to plunge even deeper into her hot core. His slamming thrusts soon led to them both to a blinding climax as they released a cry of deliverance.Her legs still wrapped around his back, she lowered her hips, keeping him close to her.With his glistening muscular body next to her moist hot flush skin, he kissed her, “My walela. I can’t begin to tell you how much I love you,” he sent to her.“And I you beyond words,” she sent.She released her hold on him, and he rolled off her, lying beside her, he pulled her close to him. She fell asleep in his arms as he also fell asleep.

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Chapter Eighteen

Six months later, the Federation celebrated Federation Day on Earth. Starfleet, Betazed Command, other Federation members, and their ambassadors were invited to attend.Admiral Janeway, Commander Chakotay, Ambassador Rihanna Troi, Captains Will and Deanna Riker, Captain Geordi LaForge, Lieutenants Junior Grade Laura and Lydia LaForge, Tom and B’Elanna Paris, Captain Seven, Raffi, Admiral Jean-Luc and Beverly Picard, Commander Harry Kim, and many more attended.Since Chakotay was with her for this Federation Day event, Celesta volunteered to watch the children, leaving the two to enjoy themselves for the evening.“Nice seeing you in a social situation,” Jean-Luc greeted Rihanna and Chakotay with Beverly signing for him, because unlike her, Jean-Luc never tried to learn it.  He never saw a need, but since that bacterial virus where people on the Enterprise went deaf, Beverly found it necessary to learn.Rihanna hugged Jean-Luc and Beverly. “Nice seeing you,” she signed.“I’m glad to meet under better circumstances, Chakotay,” Jean-Luc to him.“My pleasure,” Chakotay replied.  They talked for a bit and then Chakotay said, “I think I’ll get Rihanna and me something to drink,” as he left Rihanna in Beverly’s capable hands, if an interpreter was need.Rihanna spied Geordi when he happened to be looking in her direction.  He walked over to talk to her with a drink in his hand.“It’s been a long time,” he signed to her with one hand.“Over five years since we last saw each other,” she signed.“Beverly,” Jean-Luc started to ask, “Would you like to dance?”Beverly smiled, “Yes, that sounds wonderful.”They left Geordi and Rihanna alone in the crowd.“I’ve almost forgot how to sign,” setting his drink down on the table next to them.“I’m sure our girls won’t let you forget,” she signed back to him.“Don’t see them that often anymore, given they’ve been reassigned to Betazoid ships.”“They did return to Betazed,” she signed nodding her head, sensing Chakotay saw her talking to Geordi and began stalking as though he were a leopard about to protect his territory. “It’s OK, Chakotay,” she sent.“During the great return, as it’s called on Betazed,” Geordi replied in sign.“Yes,” she signed shaking her fist forward and backwards.“You how?” He asked in sign.“Better, thank you,” she told him in sign. “You?”“Would I be too forward, if I said I miss you?” Geordi asked, still signing.“To my husband, yes,” she replied with sign, noticing that Chakotay was close with their drinks. “To me no. I understand.  We have history, especially our daughters, even though they are grown.”“Yeah,” he stated with a note of sadness. “I don’t think I will ever be able to express how sorry I am.”There was a pause in their conversation when Chakotay approached them, putting an arm around Rihanna, after he handed her a Samarian Sunset. “It’s OK,” she sent to Chakotay with eyes that expressed annoyance.“I’d better go,” Geordi said, suddenly feeling ill at ease. “I just came over to say hi.”“Nice to see you again,” Chakotay tried to be cordial.“Feeling’s mutual,” Geordi gave a nod and walked away, but paused after a couple of steps, “Take care of her, Chakotay.”“Of that you can have no doubt.”“Chakotay, you didn’t have to hover like a leopard protecting his territory,” she sent.“I don’t want to see you hurt again,” he sent back. “It took too long to help you through that.”
“I know, I was there.”

“Be glad I didn’t tell him how I felt about all of that.”

“Chakotay, don’t do that. It’s alright, I assure you.”
“Can we not do this now?” He asked.“We won’t, just as long as you stop guarding me like I’m your territory,” she sent. “Let’s enjoy the event and the company of everyone here. Including Geordi’s.”
“Fair enough,” he replied, “Care to dance?”
She smiled, “I would.” She turned on a device that helped her feel the music and danced with her husband.For some reason, he felt the need to kiss her on the dance floor and in doing so, they bumped into Will and Deanna.“Hey, you two,” Will jest, with a smile. “Get a room!”Chakotay smiled and replied, “I’ll keep that in mind.” Continuing to dance with his wife.“Chakotay, Rihanna,” Admiral Janeway greeted a few steps off the dance floor when the two came close to the edge of it. “How are you two doing?”The two stopped dancing, as Chakotay gestured towards Janeway, both stepping off the dance floor, to speak to Admiral Janeway. “We’re doing well, Admiral,” Chakotay informed her.“Chakotay,” she scolded. “You know you can call me ‘Kathryn’. Sorry to hear about your demotion, Chakotay.”“It’s alright,” Chakotay stated. “I had it coming to me, given I didn’t follow the rules.”“Got a little full of yourself as captain?” She smiled.“Something like that.”“So, when are you two going to let me watch the children again?” She asked.Chakotay smiled and told Rihanna what Kathryn said.“Given you’re so good at watching children,” Rihanna signed with Chakotay translating, “We might arrange something so you can watch them.”“I’ll be looking forward to it,” she said. “They’re good kids. How are you doing since your trip, Rihanna?”“Good, thank you,” Rihanna signed. “How are you?”“I’ve been busy pushing a pencil more than I’ve been on a ship.  Otherwise, I’m good.”“You rather be on a ship, though?” Chakotay inquired.“Yes, I don’t get to command a ship very often anymore,” Kathryn informed them. “To be honest, it’s been harder than other things I’ve dealt with in nine years.”Rihanna sensed what she meant but said nothing, not wanting to make things worse for Kathryn.It was Chakotay who said something, “Kathryn…”“No, it’s quite alright,” she insisted. “I always put my career first.  I get it.  I’m glad you two are very happy together, even have your own communication, and I really do enjoy watching your children.”“Kathryn…”“No, I chose my career, and you chose a family,” she stated. “Something I couldn’t give you, especially since my desires came first. That’s what happens when one is a captain of a ship. However, you, your family, and everyone on Voyager are my family, so I’m alright with that.”“You make a very good mother,” Rihanna said with a smile.“Thank you, but that’s of a crew on a ship,” she replied. “You make a very good couple, the feisty and the contrary.” She teased, knowing full well what Chakotay’s record said.“Thank you, Kathryn,” Chakotay replied. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”“Tell me something, Chakotay,” Kathryn started to ask him. “Is she still a flaming Betazoid as Q called her?”“In many ways,” he replied with a smile.“You handle her well.”“Well, sometimes I have some help, but thank you.”“Is he still contrary?” Janeway asked Rihanna, who looked towards Chakotay to see what she was saying.“Like his record states,” she smiled.“Well, I guess I need to get back to circulating,” Kathryn said.“Nice seeing you again,” Chakotay told her. “And we’ll let you know when we’re going on another trip, so you can watch the kids.”“See?” Rihanna asked him with sign.“’See’ what?” He asked her, signing back to her.“You don’t have to guard your territory just because a former interest comes to talk,” Rihanna told him.“There’s a bit of a difference,” Chakotay insisted. “Kathryn didn’t try to hurt my family or me.”“I was talking about myself in relation to her,” she sadly agreed. “But you’re right. She didn’t try to hurt OUR family.”Someone behind Rihanna touched her shoulder. She turned around to see her older daughters, Lydia and Laura. “Hi, Mom,” they both signed.“Both made it!” She signed back and gave them each a hug.“Who could miss it?” Lydia replied in sign.“Yeah, attended since we little, and if we miss Dad not happy.”“True,” Rihanna agreed with her daughters. “Your dad telling you not stop.”“You how,” Lydia signed in ASL.“Great!” Rihanna replied. “My girls how?”“Good.” Lydia replied.“Good.” Laura also said. Then spoke aloud with a slight accent, “How are you, Chakotay?”“Good,” he told them in sign.“Lieutenants both now, Mom,” Laura told Rihanna signing every word with excitement.“Wonderful!” Rihanna put both open palm upwards into the air, with a big smile and then signed, “What ship you on now?”“Snowbird,” they both signed in tantum.“Good ship,” Rihanna told her daughters. “Engineering and pilot, I assume?”“Right, Mom,” Lydia signed with a big smile.“Chakotay! Rihanna!” Tom and B’Elanna called.“Looks like we’re popular here,” Chakotay stated with two fingers pointing to his eyes and then turning them in Tom and B’Elanna’s direction.“See you later,” Rihanna signed with her hand on the side of her forehead signing C and L moving the letters smoothly forward almost in one motion, as Chakotay grabbed her by the hand and dragged her off to see Tom and B’Elanna. Turning to face her daughters, she made the phone sign and pointed to herself.The celebration continued, as did life and Rihanna continued talking to Chakotay, as well as their life on Betazed together. Stay tune for the next book in the series: Imzadi is Enduring