Archive of Our Own

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“It is true, we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another.”-- Mary Shelley, Frankenstein (1818)Barbara was nice. Really, she was.She had a gorgeous face, beautiful eyes, and long, blond hair that always seemed to catch the sunlight. Her life was rather interesting, too. She had grown up in Chicago in a big house with a white picket fence, two loving parents, and her golden labradoodle, Bradford. When she was ten, Bradford buried her grandma’s favorite pair of bunny slippers in the backyard in a seemingly random act that Barbara believed had actually foretold her grandma’s demise in a tragic pickleball accident a week later. While her parents tried to get her into therapy to discuss her odd coping mechanisms when it came to accepting the fact that sometimes plastic balls could freakishly hit someone with enough force to knock out their frontal lobe, she was steadfast in her theories about clairvoyant canines and would move to Plaht City when she was eighteen to pursue a degree in Dog Psychology at Atlas University. Rather than becoming the next Cesar Millan, she hoped to eventually prove to the world that dogs had psychic abilities and would do a better job running the country than half the humans in Congress.Keith thought that maybe it was because, despite her charming qualities, the spark just wasn’t there. Maybe it was because this was all happening too soon. Maybe it was because of the whole Dog Psychology thing (he didn’t believe that they were fortune tellers -- though he did agree with the Congress comment). Either way, all he could say was:“Okay.”“‘Okay’?” Barbara repeated with a scowl. “I’m breaking up with you, and that’s your response?”Keith glanced around, hoping that her agitated tone hadn’t drawn the attention of the other tables around them. The Quantum Abyss was a small restaurant that featured vintage wooden furniture, brick walls with abstract paintings of cosmic whales, way too many Edison bulbs, and a playlist of obscure, space-themed folk music. Each burger had a random name that only the staff understood (was there a symbolic meaning behind eating a "Razor’s Edge" -- asking for a friend), included at least some kind of unpronounceable goat cheese, and cost an arm, a leg, and your firstborn child.It was a weird place to invite someone for the sake of ending a romantic relationship. Especially since a single cone of Parmesan truffle fries were fifteen goddamn dollars.(Seriously, this breakup could’ve been an email.)“I mean,” he said, keeping his voice quiet, “I am upset, don’t get me wrong. I’m sure you have your reasons, though.”“Don’t you want to hear what they are?”Keith really didn’t. He had a hunch as to what the reasons were. They were undoubtedly the same reasons his last three (short-term) relationships had gone belly up.“We’ve been dating for a solid month and you’ve never once opened up to me!”Whoop, there it was.Keith frowned. “It takes me a while to get close to people. I’ve dealt with a lot of loss in my life, and I also have a little girl to consider.”“Little?” Barbara scoffed. “Keith, she’s eleven--”“Twelve.”“--and all the excuses in the world won’t make you any younger. If you’re gonna start dating again, you gotta learn how to be emotionally available.”“Gwen needs me to be strong for her. Things have been rough ever since her mom died, and she gets these panic attacks sometimes -- and she has a hard time connecting with other people, too.”“Children are like dogs,” Barbara stated matter-of-factly, ignoring Keith. “They may not always act like it, but they want to be a part of something greater. If you’re gonna convince them to follow you, you need to be someone worth following.” She grabbed the single remaining fry from the metal cone between them. “Dogs are related to wolves, you know. Wolves live in packs, which always have an alpha who can lead even the most rebellious pups. But alpha wolves have to be the strongest wolves in the group. You say you’re strong, but are you an alpha, Keith?”Keith stared at her, dumbfounded. “What?”She stood from her chair, intimidating in her posture. “Or are you a sheep?”“What does this have to do with--”“A sheep!” she growled. The fry in her hand resembled a dagger. “Are you a sheep waiting to be consumed by his predator of a daughter!”“I don’t know!” Keith threw his hands up, faintly wondering if his newfound ex was actually going to murder him with an overpriced piece of potato. The group of hipsters seated at the communal table next to them were staring now. “Is there a ‘none of the above’ option? Gwen doesn’t even like lamb chops!”“You are a sheep, Keith!” snarled Barbara. “A lost little sheep. You can go back to your flock, but you’ll always be a sheep. Never knowing happiness of your own. Just waiting to be fed to the wolves. And I?” She bit the fry in half and tossed the remains in front of Keith. “I am a gorgeous she-wolf, and you’re not even worth a single bite.”She grabbed her purse and stomped out of the restaurant.Keith could only sit there, stunned. Then he dropped his head into his hands. “What the hell are they teaching at Atlas nowadays?” he groaned into his palms.His phone rang.With a sigh, he grabbed his phone, read the number on the screen, and muttered a curse.Keith knew from experience, unfortunately, that the office of Principal Ellen Sanda was spartanic.Potted plants were watered on a strict schedule, including her army of Lovecraftian Venus flytraps that had probably gobbled up a secretary or two. The bookshelves were dusted every day as if their oak surfaces were some no man’s land between the nations of Dust and Pledge® Enhancing Wood Polish. Leatherette chairs were wiped down hourly to clean off the sweat from all the poor, unfortunate souls who had to sit beneath the stern gaze of Garrison Middle School’s head honcho, which Keith was certain was the number one leading cause of nervous breakdowns in America. Overall, it was a fitting environment for the stoic woman who had practically run the entire institution for the past thirty years. Even the sunlight peeking in through the window blinds felt as harsh as a warden’s glare, more disappointed than angry.“Mister Kogane,” said Principal Sanda from her desk, her hands folded in front of her and her voice completely void of hospitality, “I’m glad you could join us.” She bowed her head toward the last remaining chair. “Please, take a seat.”Keith shut the door, narrowing his eyes at none other than James Griffin, who was seated with his daughter, Ava. James returned the look, the glower no less irritating than it was two decades ago, but Keith managed not to tell him how much of a giant ass clown he was and instead took the empty chair next to his own daughter.Guinevere “Gwen” Kogane was a spitting image of her mother, so much that it sometimes hurt to look at her. Dark hair. Blue eyes. A wit so sharp that it could blow away the judges from Forged in Fire any day of the week. The other stuff, though? The questionable stuff? That was from Keith. The oversized hoodie, the ripped jeans, the dirty Vans, the impulsivity and the rebellious attitude and the tragic backstory to match. Gwen was an outcast in the proper and pristine world that people like James had created -- and she was reminded of it, constantly, whether by peers, principals, or her inner demons.Keith swallowed, a sudden and raw ache in his throat.As usual, when he tried to subtly reach out, to place his hand on hers and comfort her, she shifted away from his touch. Her scowl remained glued to the rug as she mindlessly and anxiously picked at her purple nail polish.“My apologies for having to call you all in today,” said Principal Sanda, “but I figured that it was the only way we were going to sort out this issue. As you know, Mister Kogane, this is the third time this month that Gwen has been in my office, and--”“I’m sorry,” said Keith in a way that was anything but apologetic, “but what is the issue, exactly? What happened this time?”“She pushed me!” barked Ava, a true doppelganger of her father’s sour sense of superiority.Keith looked at Gwen, who only sunk into her seat. “What?”“Ava,” said Principal Sanda, her short tone causing the child in question to withdraw with a pout. “I will tell the story here.” She turned back to the group. “But yes. Ava came up to one of our hallway monitors this morning and said that Gwen had pushed her over.”“Onto the dirty floor!”“Ava.”Ava grumbled, ignoring James’s gentle scolding.“You pushed her?” Keith said to Gwen.“She started it,” muttered Gwen, still glaring at the rug.“What do you mean?”“She doesn’t mean anything!” spat Ava. “She never does and never will! She’s mean, and evil, and a monster!”“Ava!” said Principal Sanda.As everyone else bickered, Keith stared at Gwen, watching how her scowl wavered and how she had to brush a few silent tears away with the sleeve of her hoodie. It took everything in his power not to burn down the whole universe.“Let Gwen talk!” he said, quieting the room almost immediately, in which he then asked Gwen in a softer tone: “What happened? What did you mean when you said that Ava started it?”Gwen sniffed. “She found Kosmo,” she mumbled.“Kosmo?”“And she tried to take him away. She tried to tell me that I was too old to have him. She and her friends were gonna rip him up. They wanted me to cry--”Ava scoffed. “Why would I care about some dumb toy?”“--and when she grabbed him, I just wanted him back, but she wouldn’t give him back. So I…”“Pushed her?” murmured Keith.Gwen nodded. She pulled her backpack close, encasing it protectively with her arm.Principal Sanda glanced between Gwen and Ava. She hummed in thought; it was a small, simple, and dreadful sound, like the pulling of a grenade pin. “We do not tolerate bullying at Garrison, no more than we tolerate acts of aggression. Regardless of who started what, this is a recurring pattern of behavior that has yet to be corrected. I am afraid that disciplinary action will have to be more severe. That said, perhaps the time away will do the both of you some good.”“‘Time away’?” Keith repeated, his heart sinking.James crossed his arms. “Like father, like daughter.”Gwen snarled at him. “Hey! Fuck you, man!”“Yeah!” said Keith. “Fuck you!” He paused, his anger snuffed out by horrid realization. “Wait, what? No.” He scowled at his daughter. “Gwen! Language!”Principal Sanda narrowed her eyes.Keith, ashamed, avoided her gaze by staring at the rug.“Suspended,” muttered Keith. “For a whole week.”Through the rearview mirror, he could see Gwen in the backseat, resting her chin on her arm as she stared out the open window. Her rage and tears had long since faded away, her eyes glazed over with things that she didn’t know how to handle. All the intrusive thoughts that she dealt with on a daily basis were now kept at bay by the walls that had always seemed to exist between her and everyone else. Walls, distance, and the backpack that she still clung to her side.“I don’t want to go back to that stupid school anyway,” she said.“I know you don’t.” Keith tightened his grip around the steering wheel, his knuckles white. “But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep dropping everything and moving mountains to rescue you from…”He tried to catch himself. But Gwen, like her mother, was very perceptive.“From what?”Keith sighed, exhausted. “From yourself.”It was a confession that he shouldn’t have made. Not to his own daughter, who was understandably struggling with her mother’s death and a world that was determined to keep knocking her down. It was only one small step above what he had to deal with at her age, but it was a broken step all the same, consisting of splintered wood, termites, and a long drop to some hellish unknown.As expected, Gwen raised her hackles. “I didn’t ask you to come rescue me!”I know, he should’ve said; the usual script for a diplomatic resolution. I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ll try to do better. I just don’t understand. I’ll never understand.But, God, he was tired.“That’s my job!” he snapped instead. “I’m your father! What am I supposed to do? Leave you behind when you can’t take care of yourself? You are my universe, Gwen! It is my job to protect you. So every time you act out, it doesn’t just affect you!”“I told you! Ava started it!”“Did she start all the other fights? The skipping class? The endless nights of running off to who-knows-where so that Lance and Hunk have to come help me find you? Even Shiro was getting ready to jump on a plane the last time!”Gwen looked out the window again, scowling at the buildings passing by as if they were patterns on Principal Sanda’s rug.“We’re a family,” Keith murmured after a moment, keeping his eyes on the road. “We have to hang in there. For each other. But I can only do so much.”He knew that he would regret this later. He already regretted it. He regretted making Gwen feel like she was remotely a problem. He regretted revealing himself to be just as broken as her, in need of his own rescue, when he was supposed to be her defender. There was so much regret, and he was so tired of carrying it alone.“We’re not a family,” she grumbled, right as Keith was starting to believe that she might never talk to him again. “We’re a joke. Especially since you’re trying to replace Mom with all these weirdos.”Right. That was the main reason his relationship with Barbara hadn't worked out: Gwen didn’t like her. She hadn’t liked her since he introduced them, just as she hadn't liked all his other romantic interests. If Gwen didn’t like someone, the tension was palpable and her bad behavior became worse. When these were combined with Keith’s vulnerability issues, the Kogane household then formed an emotional baggage Megazord that was destined to defeat his love life like it was the villain of the week.As with all things, though, Keith was trying his best.And, as with all things, his best was never good enough.“I’m not trying to replace Acxa!” he said, turning in his seat to glare at Gwen. “But, damn it, if that weirdo, Barbara, was right about one thing, it’s that I deserve to be happy, too!”Gwen opened her mouth to argue -- only for her eyes to widen at something ahead.“Dad!” she yelled, pointing at the windshield. “Red light!”Keith raised a brow and turned back around.Just as the red light passed by overhead.“Oh shi--”Something hit them.The car spun, throwing Keith and Gwen against their seats. Debris flew out the windows as it tilted and rolled. The crunch of metal joined the shattering of glass and cries of terror in an amalgam of chaos. When the car returned to its wheels, the momentum gone, it plopped down and stilled.In the eerily silent aftermath, time finally caught up with Keith. He was unhurt, though definitely shaken, especially with how the airbags hadn't gone off. At the sound of hyperventilating, he twisted in his seat. “Gwen! Gwen, are you okay?”His daughter also seemed physically fine, but she struggled to catch her breath. She dug her fingers into the door’s armrest, clawing at the collar of her hoodie with her other hand.A panic attack. She was having a panic attack.“Gwen,” said Keith, reaching out for her. She didn’t respond to his touch. “It’s me. It’s Dad. I’m here. You’re okay.” He searched frantically for her backpack. “Kosmo. You need Kosmo. Where’s Kosmo?”When he peered out the window, he saw her backpack in the street, surrounded by broken glass. He unbuckled his seatbelt and pushed the door open, the metal groaning in response, and he stumbled out. People had begun to gather around the scene, gawking and murmuring, asking if he was alright, if anyone was hurt. Some of them were already on their phones, calling for ambulances. He ignored them all, grabbing the backpack, pulling the zipper open, and tossing out paper and pencils and miscellaneous school supplies until he was able to reach the stuffed animal inside. A wolf with blue fur and yellow eyes.Throwing the backpack aside, Keith held up the toy and rushed back to the car.“Gwen! I got Kosmo! I got…”His voice trailed off as he realized that the door beside Gwen had been opened, that her panic attack had subsided, and that she was even sharing a small smile with someone who had knelt down to talk to her. That same someone stood up at the sound of Keith’s voice, revealing themselves from behind the door.It was a woman, probably only a few years younger than him, with short, brown hair, a sharp face, and hazel eyes that gazed at him curiously through a pair of well-fitted glasses.As the woman stepped away, Keith approached Gwen. Though she was still trembling, she was stable. He handed Kosmo to her. She took the wolf and held it tight, burying her face in its fur.He looked back at the woman.“How did you calm her down?” he asked in genuine awe. “What did you do?”The woman hesitated. “Well, for starters…”She tossed her thumb over her shoulder -- at the old, green, and very much totaled sedan in the intersection.“I was the one who hit you.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Gwen! Breakfast is ready!”Keith turned away from the stove, plate in hand, and he almost couldn’t believe it when Gwen took a seat at the kitchen counter. It had been a few days since their last argument -- and the car accident that came with it. With her suspension from school, Lance and Hunk had to watch her whenever Keith went to work, but she chose the time he was at home to lock herself in her room, more distant than usual. He couldn’t blame her. He had nearly gotten them killed, after all. He was frankly surprised that she hadn’t run off in the middle of the night again. Like to her usual hiding spot. Or even to the circus. Spiffily-dressed elephants doing the conga line undoubtedly made better company than a father who dated weirdos and had the emotional capacity of a mosquito.“I made your favorite,” he said, setting the plate down in front of Gwen.She avoided his gaze, that signature scowl at first focused elsewhere, but when she finally turned her eyes to her food, that glare turned into a grimace. “Really, Dad?”She wasn’t disgusted by the food itself. Such a thing wasn’t possible. Not when breakfast tacos were involved. Especially not breakfast tacos that originated in the culinary genius of her late grandfather, Texas Kogane, who had truly created the One Breakfast Taco Recipe to Rule Them All, so powerful that a couple of hobbits would probably have to toss it into a volcano at some point. So, no, it wasn’t the food that disgusted her. It was the smiley face that Keith had so cheesily drawn over one of the taco’s toppings with hot sauce.Alright, Keith thought as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, he meant well, but maybe he had gone a little too far. Smiley faces on food? Had he ascended to the next level of dadhood or something? It wouldn’t be long before he started wearing sandals with socks and growling at anyone who remotely considered touching the thermostat.“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” he said. “We haven’t really talked since the accident. I know I messed up, big time. I could’ve really gotten us hurt, and I should’ve been paying more attention.”“Dad,” Gwen muttered as she looked away again, clearly uncomfortable, “just stop, okay?”Keith opened his mouth, and he closed it. “Okay.”“Besides, it’s not like anyone actually got hurt.”“Which is a miracle,” he said, his heart heavy at the mere thought of the many gruesome ways that the accident could’ve gone.Gwen shrugged, as if the reason why they’d had been so lucky was the most obvious thing in the world: “Mom was looking out for us.”He had to smile at that. “Regardless, I don’t want to be fighting anymore. I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I don’t want to hear about all this drama you’re facing at school from Principal Sanda. I want to hear it from you.” “Why?” Gwen picked at her food. “You don’t talk to me.”There was a knock at the door.“I’ll get it,” she said, sliding off her stool.Keith watched her go, brows furrowed in thought. He genuinely didn’t know how to respond to her statement, only registering the fact that, outside of giving corny facial expressions to food and having a small affinity for power tools, he was utterly failing in the dad department. When he was trying to protect Gwen, he was the equivalent of the village idiot with a pot on his head and a mop for a weapon. When he was trying to console her, it led her to being unfairly villainized and him crashing his car. Whatever he was supposed to be doing nowadays, he always seemed to be doing it wrong.He looked at the small, framed picture on the nearby wall. It depicted a woman with a kind smile that once fixed all his aches and pains and a pair of blue eyes that used to always guide him home.“Acxa,” he whispered, lost and broken, “what do I do?”Nothing answered. Nothing had answered for the past seven years.With a sigh, he grabbed his mug and brought it to his lips--“Dad!” Gwen called from down the hallway. “That chick who hit our car is at the door!”--and he choked on his coffee.When Keith finally managed to get the coffee out of his lungs, he headed for the foyer. Sure enough, that woman from the accident stood just outside the front door, dressed in a long, emerald coat and with a messenger bag slung over her shoulder. She looked a bit awkward, as if she didn’t belong there, but she composed herself at Keith’s approach.“Hey,” she said with a friendly smile.“Hi,” said Keith, just as awkward. She adjusted her glasses. “Sorry, I don’t mean to impose or anything, but I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d stop by to check on you both. Make sure that you’re both okay. I remembered your address from when we swapped insurance info a few days ago.”“That’s really nice of you.” He recalled the information they shared at the accident. “Your name is Katherine Holt, right?”“Just ‘Katie’ is fine.”“We appreciate you stopping by. We’re doing okay, apart from the whole…” Keith glanced at the driveway, where his car, having only recently returned from the mechanic, looked like an extra from Mad Max. “Well, that.”“Yeah, it’s not much better on my end. My car was so old that it was one bad pothole away from me having to start it up Flintstones-style, so there’s no fixing it. I’m shopping around for a new one.”He winced from a sudden wave of guilt. “I’m sorry.”“It’s cool. All the walking around is good for me. I spend a little too much time in front of computers.” Katie fidgeted, and she took a step back. “Anyway, I should be going. Thanks for humoring me -- and not calling me weird. I mean, I know this was a complete invasion of privacy and I totally shouldn’t have come, and I promise I’m not a stalker! I just wanted to make sure I didn’t actually kill you both and wasn’t just hallucinating that you survived to absolve myself of guilt.” She fidgeted some more. “Wow, that was a creepy thing to say. Yep, I’m gonna go now.”She turned and walked down the porch steps.Keith reached out for her. “Wait!”She stopped. After a moment, she reluctantly looked over her shoulder.“You coming here really was a thoughtful gesture,” he said. “Would you like to, um, come in? For a cup of Keith?” He faltered. “Wait, uh, shit. I meant a cup of coffee. Not Keith. I’m Keith. In case you forgot.”Gwen gave him a look that was the epitome of the phrase “What the hell is wrong with you?”(“Where do I start?” he would normally reply, but no one had time for such Dickensian novels.)Katie glanced at the street, then back at him, then she bit her lip as she contemplated his offer, plainly at war with herself. Keith almost rescinded it, thinking he overstepped a boundary, but then she smiled at him.“Sure.”“How long have you been in Plaht?”“Just a few years,” said Katie as she casually wandered around the living room, observing pictures and knickknacks. “You?”“Been here since I was a kid,” said Keith, searching the kitchen for a spare mug. Shortly after he had invited Katie in, Gwen (with a roll of her eyes) had silently excused herself to her room. He was sure to cover her plate of breakfast tacos with some tin foil as quickly as he could. To keep them warm, of course. And maybe to also hide the smiley face that had started to stare into his soul like some kind of sleep paralysis demon.Katie stopped by the kitchen counter, curious eyes focused on the photo of Acxa that was on the wall. “Is that your wife?”Keith pulled out an old mug from the very back of the cupboard. “She was my wife…”“Did you guys separate or something?”“She died a while ago. Cancer.”Katie frowned. “My condolences.”Despite the metaphorical kick to the chest that came with yet another acknowledgement of Acxa’s absence, Keith managed to shrug it off. “One day at a time, right?”He stepped toward the sink to rinse out the mug, only to curse out loud when he accidentally hit it against the faucet in just the right spot to shatter it into a dozen pieces.Katie jumped at the sound. “Everything okay?”“Yeah, I just broke the cup.” He looked at his palm, where he now sported a nice cut. A cut that had begun to gush with blood. Leave it to him to survive a car accident without a scratch and then find a way to shank himself with a coffee mug.“That is a lot of blood,” Katie observed.“That is a lot of blood,” he agreed, turning on the water and letting it run over his palm.“Do you have gauze anywhere? I’ll get some for you.”“Yeah, in the hallway bathroom. But you don’t have to.”Katie shook her head. “I don’t need you bleeding to death on the floor and your kid thinking I murdered you.”“I mean, she might actually prefer it if you did.”Katie chuckled. It was a small, gentle, and powerful noise. She brought her hand to her mouth to stifle herself from laughing any more beyond that at his misery, but the sound had still helped him realize that maybe he didn’t need to toss himself into oncoming traffic later to escape his humiliation.The day was still young, though.“I’ll be right back,” she said, vanishing down the hallway.Katie found the bathroom with relative ease. She opened up the medicine cabinet above the sink and pulled out some ointment, gauze, and roller bandages. A box of medication on the middle shelf caught her attention:
GUINEVERE KOGANE

FLUOXETINE

TAKE ONE TABLET TWICE DAILY
She sighed and closed the cabinet door.When she walked back out into the hallway, she almost bumped into Gwen herself.“Oh,” said Katie. “Uh. Hi. Sorry about that.”Gwen studied her. “You said you knew what I was going through. Right after the accident, when I was scared, you told me that you’d been scared like that before.”“I have,” murmured Katie. “A bunch of times. When I was younger, I was in a different car accident. That accident wasn’t as miraculous as the one you and I were in. It was just me and my brother. While I walked away with some minor injuries, he, uh…” She swallowed against the ache in her throat. “He wasn’t so lucky.”Gwen looked down at the floor, eyes dark. Katie could tell that she was sympathetic, though uncertain how to express it. She knew that feeling, too.“My point is,” said Katie, “I know what you’re going through. I know how you feel. I’m sure your dad does, too.”“I wouldn’t know. He never talks to me.”“People handle these things in different ways. Sometimes they talk to other people. Sometimes they dive into hobbies. Sometimes they take medication. Sometimes it’s all of the above. In the end, it’s about finding a system that makes you feel safe.”“Like Kosmo.” Gwen hummed in thought. “What’s your system?”“Work,” said Katie with a shrug, “though I wouldn’t recommend that method for you. Something about child labor laws. Um. I like coding and science. I like video games. I like building Gunpla. I like reading about conspiracy theories, until I end up in the weird part of the Internet. A big thing for me when I was your age was music.”“Music?”“Yeah. Here…” She dug into her messenger bag and pulled out some CD cases. “I actually wanted to give these to you. I almost forgot.” She handed them to Gwen. “Sorry about them being CDs. I’ve had them for a while. Shows how old I am, huh?”Gwen examined their covers. “It’s okay. I have a CD player that used to be my mom’s.” She shifted in place, uncertain again. “Thanks.”Katie smiled. “Keep them as long as you want. Meanwhile, I better get back to your dad. Before he bleeds to death. Which isn’t my fault, by the way. Promise.”She slipped past Gwen.After Keith’s wound was dressed and he spent ten minutes searching around his kitchen for another spare mug, he and Katie, coffee finally in hand, retreated to the patio to enjoy some fresh air. The midmorning sun was a tender touch, a quiet breeze rustled the trees, and the neighborhood was full with the sounds of singing birds, playing children, and lawn mowers.“So,” said Keith, taking a seat on one of the patio chairs, “what brought you here?”Katie sat across from him, cradling her mug. She wore the same expression as she did when she first contemplated his offer for coffee; it was a strange mixture of hesitance and longing. “Truthfully,” she eventually said, “I did really want to make sure that you and Gwen were both okay. Especially Gwen. I can't explain why, and I know that doesn’t make me sound any less of a weirdo, but--”“Actually,” said Keith, amused, “I meant what brought you to Plaht.”“Oh!” She blushed. “Uh. My bad. I ramble sometimes.” She cleared her throat. “I was just looking for a change of pace. I grew up in Balto, Arizona, but I got tired of all the cactuses, especially after finishing school there, so I moved up here. I appreciate all the trees you guys have, that’s for sure. Even though they bug my allergies.”“What’d you go to school for?”“Computer science! Got my BS at VolTech. I’m a data analyst for a major tech firm, but I work remotely so I can live anywhere.”“Wow.” Keith took a sip of his coffee. “Sounds like a sweet gig.”Katie shrugged. “It keeps the lights on. What about you?”“Tax accountant.”She raised a brow. “Really?”“Yeah, I know, I don’t really look like a bean counter, but, like you said, it keeps the lights on. I actually wanted to be an astronaut originally.”“Why didn’t you do that?”Keith waved his hand dismissively. “Me and Acxa started dating in high school. When we were getting ready to begin classes at Atlas, she found out she was pregnant. From that moment, my priorities changed from chasing dreams to keeping our little girl sheltered and fed, so I switched my major to accounting.”“That was a big sacrifice.”“I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. When you love something, you defend it with everything you got.”“Yeah…” Katie stared down at her coffee.“I wanted to give Gwen a better life than I had at her age,” Keith murmured, tapping the side of his mug, “but, nowadays, I’m not sure if I am anymore.”Music suddenly blared from the window beside the patio, almost giving him a heart attack.“What the hell?” he said, staring at the window, which happened to be the window for Gwen’s room. That punk song continued to play, scaring the birds, vibrating his chair, and causing at least one elderly neighbor to shake his cane at the younger generation. “What is that?”“The Offspring,” Katie said, plain and simple, then she faltered when Keith looked at her. “Um, I mean, I should probably go.”She stood and hurried back into the house.Keith went in after her. “Hey, are you okay?”She ignored him, keeping her eyes ahead as she placed her mug on the counter and headed for the front door.“Wait!” he called again, following her. “Katie!”She winced, her hand on the door knob. Slowly, she released it and turned around. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have come here. I mean, I showed up unannounced, and I gave Gwen some music she probably shouldn’t even be listening to, and I was the one who hit you guys with my car. I just -- I should go.”“In your defense,” said Keith, “I was the jackass who ran the red light, and I know that I probably shouldn’t have just admitted fault to you, but that’s the thing.” He sighed. “I’ve been struggling. A lot, lately. It’s just been me and Gwen for so long, and she has a lot of issues that I just don’t know how to handle. Acxa was always better at that stuff than me, because she was the one who rescued me from it when we were kids. But I want to be better. For Gwen. I don’t know what you said after the accident, when you calmed her down, but I want to know so I can be the father she deserves, and…” He frowned. “Now I’m rambling.”Katie laughed. Not a chuckle, but a full-blown laugh that warmed his heart.“So,” he said, hopeful, “can I maybe take you out to lunch tomorrow?”“I…”Katie averted her eyes, nervous.This time, Keith couldn’t ignore it, and he raised his hands in a calming gesture. “It’s purely platonic, if that’s what you’re worried about! I’m sorry. I’m not trying to ask you out or anything. I just really would love to pick your brain and hear any advice you have on how to talk to Gwen.”“It’s not that,” said Katie. “I just, uh…” She exhaled, long and slow, and she smiled at him. “You know what? It’s fine. Yeah, I can do lunch tomorrow.”“Really?”“Yeah.” She opened the door. “So, I’ll see you then?”“Absolutely! How about Sal’s Speakeasy? At twelve?”“I’ll be there.”She stepped outside, closing the door behind her. In the silence, Keith couldn’t help but grin.Until Gwen suddenly restarted her music and nearly sent the poor man into cardiac arrest again.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

James Griffin, despite being a giant ass clown, had been correct in his observation that Gwen and Keith were a lot alike. You see, twenty-five years ago, before Keith would struggle with fitting in, discipline issues, and academic suspensions of his own, he had also been the child of a single parent. For as long as he could remember back then, it had just been him and his father, and while the mysterious absence of his mother had often made him wonder where she was in the universe, he was content with what he had.After all, the whole notion of simple pleasures was very much fitting of the rural communities in northeastern Nevada. Vast stretches of mountains and sagebrush may have been a far cry from the lights and sounds of cities like Las Vegas, but the area had its own countryside charm that spoke to Keith’s quiet soul. There were stories to tell among the ranchers, miners, and vagabonds between Elko and Reno. Stories whispered between the hoofbeats of cattle, within the beads of sweat wiped away from a prospector’s brow, and among the semi-truck drivers who, as weary as they might have been from their long, lonely journeys, still found solace in the gorgeous sunsets that could be witnessed from Interstate 80.Texas “Tex” Kogane was no different. His story began with fighting fires and saving lives in the concrete bowels of Dallas, but his desire for something more gentle toward his battered body and more in tune with all the farms he, himself, had spent his childhood exploring led him to the Silver State. It was then when he met Keith’s mother, who would vanish into the night shortly after Keith was born, leaving Tex to raise their son alone.But he also wasn’t alone. Not really.Some towns in Nevada may have been small and people may have been scarce, but they were small and scarce together -- and Tex was just as devoted to helping folks as he had been when he was a fireman. Building barns, transporting hay, feeding livestock, and fixing trucks. Tex did it all for whomever needed it.One such beneficiary was Gavin Moore, who owned a small homestead just southeast of Austin. His old age had made it difficult to trim his horses’ hooves, and with all five of his sons away for college, he had called Tex for help. Without hesitation, Tex loaded up his red pickup truck with some tools, hoisted a young Keith into the passenger seat, and hitched a stock trailer to the back so they could bring their single cow, Kaltenecker, along for the ride.Keith recalled sitting there beside his father as they drove to Gavin’s farm, dust trailing behind them from one of Big Smoky Valley’s many dirt roads. His nose was buried in a fantasy book that he had rented during their last trip to the library in Winnemucca. It was definitely above his reading level; a lot of the words were hard to pronounce, and it was sometimes difficult to discern what exactly was going on, but the adventures sounded fun and the characters were cool. He really liked the main hero, a ranger with a panther companion who was noble and courageous despite how badly the world treated him for being a dark elf.Meanwhile, Tex had one arm resting on the open window, his cowboy hat tilted toward the sun, and a toothpick hanging from his mouth. He was tall and well built, with an aura that exuded wisdom, compassion, and strength. If the departure of Keith’s mother had bothered him, he never showed it. In that sense, he had taught Keith what resilience was, too.When he wasn’t being a goofball, at least.“That don’t impress me much,” Tex sang along to the grainy Shania Twain song playing on the radio, exaggerating his own Southern drawl. Dancing a little in his seat, he tossed a loose grin in Keith’s direction. “So you got the brain but have you got the touch?” “Dad!” said Keith with a smile. “I’m trying to read!”“Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright.”“Dad!”“But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night.”“Dad! You’re embarrassing me!”“To who?” asked Tex, amused. He gestured to the barren landscape all around them. “The pronghorn? Besides, you’re supposed to be watching Kalt. Dragons will get her if you don’t. You gotta protect her.”Keith closed his book, unbuckled his seatbelt, and turned around to open the back window. Kaltenecker poked her snout out from one of the holes in the side of her trailer, lazy eyes resting on Keith.“Don’t worry, Kalt!” he called out. “I’ll keep you safe!”Kaltenecker mooed.They arrived at the farm shortly after. Gavin emerged from his house to greet them, and he directed their truck toward the pen where he kept his horses. Since Keith wasn’t even the height of a horse’s leg, he couldn’t offer much help in the actual hoof-trimming department, so he focused on his noble duty of protecting Kaltenecker from dragons. Using a leash, he guided her around the property to give her some exercise, her lax temperament meaning that she followed him without question. As always, it was an uneventful patrol. He stopped every now and then to watch his father work, fascinated by the process. He also enjoyed watching the horses trot around when the task was finally finished.Once thanks were shared over some of Missus Moore’s homemade lemonade, Tex packed his supplies and loaded Kaltenecker back into her trailer.“Do you take your cow everywhere you go?” asked Gavin, curious.“She’s a member of the family,” said Tex with a shrug. “She happens to like road trips.”“And it’s my job to protect her!” said Keith proudly.Gavin smiled. “A brave boy you got there, Tex.” His smile then turned sullen. “It’s probably good to keep a close eye on her, though. Do you know Evan Hammer, down by Crescent Valley? He lost two of his cows last week. Found them picked clean not far from the main road.”“Coyotes?” said Tex.“Nah. I heard some folks are thinking it's wolves.”“Wolves?” said Keith, mouth agape. “There’s wolves here?”Tex shook his head at Gavin. “Nonsense. There hasn’t been a wolf in Nevada in nearly a century.”“Just a bunch of lone vagrants, if anything,” said Gavin, waving his hand dismissively. “I think it’s that Plaht place. They keep building it up more and more. Tearing down a bunch of trees and pushing the wolves out. They’re bound to come looking for food wherever they can -- and they ain’t afraid to go far!”Keith looked at his father. “Wolves can’t get Kalt, right?”“They won’t,” murmured Tex. “Not with us there. Wolves are timid things when it comes to humans. They prefer to stay out of the way.”“But if one’s hungry enough,” said Gavin, “it’ll rip the heart straight from your chest!”Keith gulped.Tex narrowed his eyes. “Quit scaring my boy, Gav.”“I’m not scared,” said Keith, his meek voice betraying him.Gavin raised a hand in surrender. “Just saying. Keep an eye on that cow -- and yourselves, too. Monsters come in all shapes and sizes out there.”Placing a hand on Keith’s back to comfort him, Tex tipped his hat to Gavin in farewell and guided his son back to the truck. Keith glanced at Kaltenecker along the way, who was safe for now inside her trailer. Dragons were one thing. He knew how to fight dragons. Wolves were an entirely different beast.Wolves were real.“It’ll be okay,” said Tex as he buckled Keith’s seatbelt. “You keep Kaltenecker safe, and I’ll keep you safe. Sound like a deal?”“But who keeps you safe, Dad?”Tex smiled at him, a bit sad.“Don’t you go worrying about me, son.”The microwave beeped.The sound interrupted Keith’s brooding, as two and a half minutes was apparently enough time to get lost in a random moment from the past. He opened the microwave door and pulled out the plate of breakfast tacos that he had originally cooked the day before. “You hungry, Gwen?”When his daughter didn’t answer, he glanced toward the couch in the living room, where she played on her Switch while casually nodding her head to whatever music blared through her headphones. As usual, she was cutting herself off from the world, but at least she was doing so in a manner more fitting of preadolescence. He looked back at the tacos, wondering if he should just eat them himself at this point. Especially since that hot sauce smiley face was still there, reminding him of all his sins.“Why must you torment me?” he muttered to it.In his strife with a plate of Tex-Mex cuisine, he faintly registered the sound of the front door opening and closing.“Hello, Koganes!” said Lance as he emerged from the hallway, his voice way too cheery for a Thursday morning. He practically sparkled, like he always did; a walking Vogue magazine when compared to Keith’s Pencil Pusher Monthly. He ruffled Gwen’s hair as he passed the couch, indifferent toward her attempt to swat his hand away, and he approached Keith with a grin. “How’s it going?”Keith shrugged. “I’m alive.”Lance frowned, pushing down on Keith’s cheek to examine the dark circles beneath his eyes. “Could’ve fooled me.”“Car accidents resulting in near-death experiences will do that to you.”“Eh. You looked like crap long before that.”Keith scowled. “Gee, thanks.”“You misunderstand me, samurai.” Lance gestured to Keith as if he was a priceless work of art. “What I’m trying to say is, you are the equivalent of a modern Adonis.”“Now that’s more like it.”“After he got gored by a pig.”“Right. Never mind.”“I mean, you’re overworked at home, overworked in the office, and you need a vacation -- and you seriously need to get laid.”“Lance!” hissed Hunk, appearing by his husband’s side. “Don’t say stuff like that when there’s kids around!” He pointed at the bright-eyed infant who was secured to his broad chest via a yellow baby carrier. “Risqué talks are not good for babies!”“Oh, come on! Felix can’t understand a single word I’m saying!”Hunk put his hands on his hips, displeased. “And thank goodness he can’t! Gwen can, though!”Lance motioned wildly at Gwen, who only continued to nod her head to her music while completely decimating Bowser’s army of goombas. “She can’t hear me anyway!” He stepped toward her, brow raised. “What is she even listening to?”He grabbed her headphones, ignoring her protests, and raised them to his ear. With a groan of disgust, as if they had burned his skin, he then tossed them back to her just as quickly as he had taken them.“What is that noise?”“Sum 41,” said Gwen with a glare, inspecting the headphones to make sure Lance hadn’t scratched them.“What the heck is a ‘Sum 41’?”“One of the many punk bands that speak out against complying to the unrealistic and often harmful expectations of society, including criticizing those in power who have established such expectations for the sake of controlling the ‘lower’, quote-unquote, populace.”With that, Gwen fitted the headphones back over her ears and returned to her game.Lance stared at her as if she had grown a tail. He turned back to Keith while tossing a thumb over his shoulder. “Who the hell invited Noam Chomsky?”“Philosophical discussions pertaining to anti-authoritarianism aren’t good for babies, either,” said Hunk, a mother hen in every sense of the word. “Seriously, I read a whole article about it the other night.” He eyed Keith. “Are you sure you should be buying her that kind of music?”“I didn’t give it to her,” said Keith. “Katie did.”Lance perked up. “Katie? Who’s Katie?”Keith faltered, realizing his mistake. “Uh. No one.”“Nuh-uh! You are not getting away with the deets on this one!”“She’s just a friend! Er, acquaintance. She’s just an acquaintance.”Lance narrowed his eyes. “Likely story.”“But she’s the person who hit my car!”Hunk hummed in thought. “Yeah, that’s definitely not your typical meet cute scenario.”Keith rubbed the back of his neck. “But I do kinda have a lunch thing with her today.”“Hold up!” said Lance.“But it’s not a date!” said Keith. “We’re just talking about stuff!”“And Barbara would appreciate you and Katie just ‘talking about stuff’?”“Well, Barbara and I broke up, so…”Lance gaped. “You guys broke up?”Hunk frowned. “Wait, Barbara? Who’s Barbara?”“She said I was too emotionally unavailable,” grumbled Keith.“The audacity,” said Lance.Hunk was very confused. “I thought you were dating David.”Keith shook his head. “David was before Barbara -- and he and I broke up because he also felt that I was too emotionally unavailable.”“And before him was Judith,” said Lance with a nod.“Who jumped on the bandwagon that I was too emotionally unavailable.”“Anyone remember Alistair?” asked Hunk. “What happened to Alistair?”“He was before Judith,” said Keith. “He started the whole trend of me being too emotionally unavailable.” He crossed his arms. “But, in my defense, he was a Scientologist.”Hunk winced. “Oof.”“That’s rough, buddy,” said Lance.Keith appreciated their sympathy. He really did. Despite all the attempts to fill the hole in his heart -- attempts that had continuously failed due to his infamous emotional unavailability issues and Gwen’s distaste for anyone who wasn’t Acxa -- Hunk and Lance had always been there to remind him that he wasn’t unloveable. Their friendship stretched way back into their middle school days, predating even his late wife. When included with his adoptive brother, Shiro, they made up the Three Stooges that were Gwen’s weird but loving uncles, and the closest thing that Keith had to a family.“It is what it is,” he murmured.Lance gave him a sly grin. “For now. Until this Katie person takes you straight to Laids-ville!”Hunk glared. “Lance!”“It’s not a date,” said Keith.Lance rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He walked over to the couch and grabbed Gwen’s headphones again, spurring another round of protests. “Come on, you anarchist. We don’t want to lose a good spot at the beach.”In a series of grumbles, Gwen snagged her headphones back, placed them around her neck, and turned off her Switch. She then gathered her things and followed Hunk and Lance down the hallway.“Wait!” said Keith, showing her backpack that had been left behind on the kitchen counter. “Don’t forget Kosmo!”Gwen walked back to take the bag from him, avoiding his eyes. But she wasn’t scowling. In fact, she seemed hesitant. “Hey, Dad?”“Yeah?”“When you see Katie later, can you tell her I said hi?”Keith blinked. “Uh. Yeah, sure.”Gwen donned her backpack, her wolf tucked safe inside, and she left.Marmora Tax Services was located in a quaint office space in the heart of Plaht. While it was a much smaller operation than its competitors, it was locally-owned and had a good rapport with a lot of the mom-and-pop businesses in town who often needed assistance with filing their quarterly returns. All the farms, flower shops, and hipster restaurants in a thirty-mile radius kept the place busy year-round, and the company’s slogan of “Refunds or Death!” was a morbid but effective way of drawing in new clients.When Keith entered the building, he had to frown at the usual shadowy atmosphere that met him. For some reason, his coworkers always preferred to keep the blinds down and the lights off during business hours. It wasn’t to deter visitors -- in addition to the office getting swamped during tax season, everyone on the whole block knew that if you made eye contact with the receptionist, Ezor, while passing the front door, she’d pull you in and talk your ear off -- but it also made the whole place look like a front for some sort of secretive organization.Antok poked his head out from his cubicle. “Morning, Keith!” he said through a mouthful of food, and he gestured at the half-eaten apple fritter in his other hand. “Thace got donuts!”“No thanks. I had breakfast tacos this morning.” Keith opened one of the nearby blinds. “You guys know that sunlight is good for you, right?”Antok hissed almost comically at the sudden intrusion of light and ducked back into his cubicle.Keith rolled his eyes and made his way to his own desk. As he hung his bag on a hook and flipped on his computer, another man approached him.“Keith,” said the man in a stern greeting. He had a muscular shape, serious eyes that seemed to glow in the dark, a long braid tossed over his shoulder, and a scar along the right side of his face. Overall, he resembled a rugged leader who, while admirable, was also terrifying enough to scare Batman out of his batpants.“Kolivan,” said Keith in return, having nothing but the utmost respect for the owner of Marmora Tax Services (even if he was the only thing on the planet that Chuck Norris feared).“Klaizap from Arusian Acres has requested our assistance in their upcoming return. I trust that you can help them complete their paperwork?”“Sure thing.”“Very well. I’ll forward you the documents they sent me.”“By the way,” said Keith, “I’m gonna take a half day today, if that’s alright with you.”“For what purpose?”“I have a lunch thing with someone this afternoon.”Kolivan’s eyes crinkled a bit. “Is this related to that Barbara person you’ve been fancying?”“No. She and I broke up.”“What?” said Thace, nearly dropping the stack of papers he’d been carrying to the scanner.“My boy’s a heartbreaker!” said Regris from across the room.“Was that the Scientology one?” asked Antok through a mouthful of Long John.“Who keeps eating all the donuts?” shouted Ulaz from the kitchen.“I told y’all she was a bimbo,” said Ilun a few desks down.“The chemistry just wasn’t there,” said Keith, opting for the easy answer. He scowled when he realized that his coworkers had gathered around his cubicle to hear the details, and he shooed them all away with a wave of his hand.“That is unfortunate,” said Kolivan. “I am curious, who is this new person?”“Just an acquaintance.”“I see. Your half day is permitted.”“Thanks, Kolivan.”Kolivan turned to leave, but then he looked at Keith again. “I must ask, though.” He smirked. “Is this new person cute?”“Who?” said Thace, nearly dropping the stack of papers that he’d been carrying back from the scanner.“My boy’s a player!” said Regris from across the room.“Or was that Judith I was thinking of?” said Antok through a mouthful of bear claw.“I was told that there were donuts,” shouted Ulaz from the kitchen, “and there are zero donuts in here!”“They’re probably a bimbo,” said Ilun.Keith, meanwhile, was very flustered. “Why does it matter? We’re just acquaintances!” He glanced around and realized that his coworkers had, again, gathered at his cubicle to listen. He scowled accordingly. “What is my love life, the four o’clock news?” He shooed them all away once more. “Get outta here!”They scurried like cockroaches. Save for Kolivan, who only chuckled.“We’re simply teasing you, Keith. We care for your happiness.”“You got a funny way of showing it,” grumbled Keith, taking his seat.“Do enjoy yourself later, regardless.”Kolivan left his cubicle.Keith miraculously resisted the urge to smash his own head against his keyboard.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

In downtown Plaht was Sal’s Speakeasy, an Italian restaurant situated between a laundromat and a nail salon. Its brick exterior, bright neon sign, and fancy entrance canopy screamed the 1920s, supporting how the whole building was supposed to represent an illicit bar from the Prohibition era. Its employees fitted the theme, too, often donning suits, fedoras, and all the accents and lingo that was probably more prevalent in mobster movies than in real mobsters, to where customers were enticed to dine at Sal’s for the experience just as much as the food.Keith always found that last fact somewhat ironic, given that the mattress place across the street -- with its exorbitant prices, a strange lack of customers, and its ability to stay open despite the three other mattress stores in the same lot -- was quite obviously a front for the actual Mafia.Regardless, Sal’s Speakeasy was one of Keith’s favorite restaurants. The food was decent, affordable, and much better than anything sold at places like The Quantum Abyss.Still inside his car, Keith checked his appearance in the sun visor’s mirror. He resecured the loose strands of his long hair into the ponytail that usually rested between his shoulder blades, adjusted the red tie that sat vibrant against his white dress shirt, and brushed some dust off his black slacks. He may not have had time to change since leaving work -- and this may not have been a date -- but he still didn’t want to look like a complete office monkey.His phone chirped with a message.
Lance:
It’s lunch time now, right? ;)So it’s time to see Katie now, right?? ;))Go get her, samurai! ;))) 
Lance:
And before you board the Love Train to Laids-ville, remember… 
Lance:
Wrap it before you tap it. 
Lance:
Before you love, put on a glove. 
Lance:
Don’t be a fool, cover your tool. 
Lance:
♫ Safe sex is great sexBetter wear a latexCuz you dont want that late textThat "I think I'm late" textSo wrap it up ♫ 
Hunk:
LANCE 
Lance:
oh shit is this the group chat 
Shiro:
Well this is awkwardKeith shook his head, both amused and appalled, and he got out of his car. He didn’t see Katie standing anywhere outside, so he approached the door into Sal’s. It was rather plain when compared to the rest of the exterior, meant to be inconspicuous in a way that was consistent with the whole speakeasy aesthetic.He knocked on the door.The door’s peephole slid open, revealing a pair of vigilant eyes. “Password?” grumbled a male voice.“New England clam chowder,” deadpanned Keith (because, aesthetics aside, Sal’s wasn’t an actual speakeasy and therefore didn’t actually have a password).The doorman scoffed. “Wiseguy, eh?”The peephole slid shut and the door opened. As expected, the doorman was dressed in a three-piece suit, his fedora tilted to make his scowl all the more intimidating, and he carried a Tommy gun that was straight out of The Godfather.“You better not be a cop,” he muttered, “or you’ll be sleeping with the fishes, capiche? Also, all our paninis are half off today.”“Thanks,” said Keith, passing him to descend the staircase ahead.At the bottom, Sal’s opened up into an underground bar and eatery with elaborate rugs, chandeliers, and tables. Despite the lack of windows, the whole room seemed to shine in hues of gold and red, as flashy as any other Art Deco establishment from a century ago. Italian music played through the overhead speakers, serenading the few other patrons who had chosen the restaurant for lunch.“Keith!”Katie waved happily from a round booth near the back wall. Whatever made her nervous the day before had seemingly vanished -- because, without hesitation, she stood from her seat at his approach and embraced him.“It’s good to see you again!” she said.Meanwhile, Keith was very, awkwardly frozen. He hadn’t expected such a greeting. He usually didn’t hug strangers -- a lingering habit from his adolescence -- but Katie wasn’t a stranger, right? She may not have been a date, but she certainly wasn’t a stranger. She was an acquaintance, at least, and the hug was rather nice. (Keith realized then that he might’ve been a bit touch-starved.)Before he could consider hugging her back, though, she pulled away and returned to the booth.“Sorry I’m a bit late,” he said, sitting down across from her while ignoring how warm his face felt. “Usual lunchtime traffic.”“No worries.” She pointed up toward the speakers. “I was enjoying all the different renditions of ‘Ciuri, Ciuri’ that they like to play here. Reminds me of my childhood.”“Really?”“Yeah. My mom’s side of the family is all Sicilian.” Katie took the tall, black bottle on the table and refilled her glass with a familiar red liquid. “Wine?”“Sure.”“So,” she said as she poured him some of the wine, “tell me about Gwen. I’m guessing you named her after Queen Guinevere?”Keith shrugged. “Sort of. Also Guenhwyvar.”“Hm?”“She’s a panther character from a series of books I read as a kid,” he said, helping himself to the bread and olive oil that was also on the table.Katie blinked. “Wait, as in Drizzt Do’Urden’s panther? Hold on, you’re a geek?”“Um.” Keith wasn’t sure what to say. Him being a geek was never something he had openly admitted. Not out of shame but because people rarely showed interest in knowing. “Maybe.”She smirked at him. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”His face felt warm again (for some odd, non-date related reason obviously). “Oh, uh, thanks? I could say the same for you.”She deflated a bit at that, in a way that was almost unnoticeable. “Anyway,” she said, taking a sip of her wine, “back to Gwen.”“Right.” Keith frowned. “She’s just lost, you know? She’s dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety, she gets in fights at school, she’s running away from home all the time, and she won’t talk to me no matter what I do. Since her mom died, it’s like she’s built this fortress around her, and she doesn’t know how to get out, while I don’t know how to get in. It’s just like how I used to be, when I was a kid and struggling with my dad’s death, but while I had Acxa to help me through it, she doesn’t really have anyone like that. That’s why I wanted to talk to you about your thoughts on the situation. You’re the first person that she hasn’t glared at in, well, forever -- and she seems to really like that music you gave her.”Katie grinned. “Punk’s pretty awesome. It’s gotten me through some rough times, including my own rebel phase. But music in general tends to do wonders for the mind. It’s actually the focus of this side project I’m working on.”“What do you mean?”“Well, in my free time, I volunteer at memory care facilities.”“Those places for people with dementia?”Katie nodded. “I’m running a small study with a few dementia patients to see if music can help restore memory and cognitive function. It’s already been proven that memories pertaining to music last longer in the brains of those with dementia than other types of memories or even language capabilities, which is why dementia patients can often sing and dance even after they’ve lost the ability to talk normally. It’s fascinating stuff, and just a personal interest of mine.”Keith smiled. “Wow, that’s really cool. It kinda reminds me of when Gwen was a baby. She would get really fussy, especially at night, so I would sometimes sing to her to calm her down.”“Are you serious?” Katie’s eyes lit up. “That’s so sweet! What would you sing?”Keith rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, just this country song that used to play on the radio a lot…”“Country music makes my ears bleed,” said Katie with an innocent smile. An innocent smile that then turned into another smirk. “But I’ll let it slide if you sing for me.”He nearly spat out his wine. “Hell no!”“Come on, Keith! I really want to hear you sing! What if I don’t look?” She covered her eyes with her hands. “See? I’m not looking!”“You can still hear me, though.”“Please?”Keith gave her a look as she sat there, eyes still covered. He glanced around. There was no one close by to hear him. No one to take a video of him, post it on the Internet, and complain about how Millennials were killing the karaoke industry. Maybe the wine was getting to his head, but he found himself facing Katie again and, voice low and somewhat awkward against the restaurant’s background noise, he began:
She's got a bumper like a billboard

Covered in stickers of her favorite band
He cleared his throat, definitely a little rusty. Katie hadn’t moved her hands, much less spontaneously combusted from the sound of his voice, so he felt confident enough to add some rhythm to his words.
She's got a handful of records that she turns to

When she needs to land

She's a Saturday night parade through the streets

That all eyes come to see, including me
He remembered that first night all those years ago, cradling a baby Gwen in his arms while being clueless, sleep-deprived, and covered in vomit. Acxa had run out of ideas on how to calm her down, so Keith had tried something that had always worked for him.
For as much as she stumbled she's running

For as much as she runs she's still here

Always hoping to find something quicker than Heaven

To make the damage of her days disappear
As he sang to her that night, it wasn’t long before Gwen was quiet and tucked into his chest. He had then looked over at Acxa in both wonder and adoration. With a smile, she had rested her head on his shoulder, and for the first time in a long time he had felt whole.
Just like Guinevere
Keith opened his eyes, not even realizing that he had closed them, and he hesitated at the sight of Katie staring at him. But it wasn’t a judging stare. In fact, it was a tearful one.“That was beautiful,” she said.He looked away, embarrassed. “I don’t see how if it made you cry.”She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “You gotta sing to Gwen again!”He scowled. “Yeah, right! She already thinks I’m a jackass!”“But that’s the thing! You’re trying to be strong for her. You’re trying to be brave and impenetrable, but resilience isn’t about being bulletproof, it’s about being able to get back up after you’re hit. It’s about never forgetting who you are, no matter what happens.”He thought for a moment. “So, what do you recommend I do?”Katie scooted closer so she could place a supportive hand on his back. “Instead of trying to be perfect, show Gwen that you get it. Show her the cracks, the failures, the late nights where you ran off just looking for a place in the world. Show her the goofy Keith who loves fantasy novels and sings country music. Show her that you walked the path that she’s walking now and that you made it out okay. Show her that no matter what, she has you. Go loose, because being honest about who you are is gonna make you a better person, and it’s gonna help her feel safe with you.”“Wow,” breathed Keith, amazed. “Are you like a relationship therapist or something?”“Nah,” she said with a chuckle. “I just observe. I study. I calculate. I advise. Comes with the territory of being a data analyst. You want an even better answer? Give me more data.” She nudged him playfully in the arm. “Tell me more about the oh-so-serious Keith Kogane…”So he did. For what ended up being hours. Long enough to share another bottle of wine and conjure up a few empty panini plates between them. Even when the dinner crowd rolled in, Keith and Katie were still at their table, caught up in their own corner of the universe, drunkenly discussing geeky interests. At one point, after lamenting together about the King Goyle boss fight in Killbot Phantasm II, which had crushed the hopes and dreams of kids everywhere in the 90s, Keith and Katie found themselves laughing so hard at their own misery that their stomachs hurt and people were starting to glance over at them in genuine concern.“Sorry,” said Katie when she was finally able to catch her breath, “I feel like I’ve been rambling forever. I can’t remember the last time I spoke to another human being this long.”“Why is that?” asked Keith, finishing off what must’ve been his fifth glass of wine.She hesitated. “I don’t really go out that much.”“Yeah, same here. I mean, I try, but it’s hard to balance my own needs and wants with Gwen’s. Especially since I can’t help but feel like everything that’s going on with her is my fault.”“How is it your fault?” Katie murmured.“When Acxa died, I took it hard. I shut down, to put it bluntly, and I fell into a lot of the old habits I had when I was a kid. Gwen needed me the most then, but I pushed her and everyone else away. I was so scared of being left behind that I left before anyone else could. But now that I’ve been trying to do better, the damage is already done, and I don’t know how to handle it. I keep making stupid mistakes, like nearly getting us killed in that car accident, because I’m just so burnt out that I can’t think straight. All I can think of is wondering how I can fix Gwen when I can’t even fix myself -- and that I’m not the father she deserves. I…” Keith sighed. “I feel like a monster.”Katie stared at him, her hazel eyes soft behind the lenses of her glasses. “Keith..."“And…” He groaned, burying his face in his hands. “And I can’t believe I just unloaded all of that on you.”“No, no!” Katie scooted closer to wrap her arms around him. “It’s okay, Keith. I’m a data analyst, remember? I need data to do my job! Listen, sometimes you mess up. Sometimes, you hurt people. Sometimes, you hurt them so badly that there’s no taking it back. But that doesn’t make you a monster. It just means you’re human. And, hey…” She covered his hand with her own. “If you’re broken, then find some safety in the fact that you won’t be broken alone.”Keith looked at her, then at their hands, then back at her. Something about the moment must’ve stunned Katie, for she suddenly removed her hand from his.“I’m, uh, I’m just saying! Because there’s a lot of broken people out there, you know? So you’re in good company. Heh. Cracks are how the light gets in and all that.”“I guess it’s your turn now,” was all Keith said.“Huh?”He smiled at her. “You’ve listened to me go on and on. Now tell me more about the oh-so-elusive Katherine Holt.”Katie frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”“Why not?”“If I told you who I really was,” she said, sinking in on herself, “you probably wouldn’t like me anymore. If you’re broken, I’m, like, way broken.”In an attempt to comfort her the same way she had comforted him, Keith placed his hand on hers and squeezed. “That just means we can be broken together, right?”That moment returned. The one where their eyes were locked, their hands were touching, they were really close to one another, and the rest of the universe seemed to melt away into insignificance.Looking back on it, Keith wouldn’t have been able to tell you who moved first. All he would remember is them both leaning in, eyes closing, noses brushing, their lips a mere breath apart--Then Katie pulled away.“Oh crap,” said Keith, horrified at what he’d almost done. “I am so sorry. I really meant it when I said that this wasn’t a date, but--”“It’s fine,” she said, avoiding his eyes, her face as red as his tie. “I told myself that, too, but I’m not against it, I just, uh…”Yet again, he was saved from wanting to throw himself into traffic later, and there was hope in his voice: “Too fast?”“Yeah. Too fast.” She managed to wink at him. “But what can I say? You being such a caring dad -- and a total geek -- is really friggin’ hot.”Keith nearly fell over at that, which must’ve showed on his face because she giggled at him. “Well,” he said, feeling like a teenager on his first romantic excursion and not a thirty-two-year-old accountant who had recently dated three weirdos and a Scientologist, “do you, uh, wanna get out of here? Walk around for a bit downtown? It’s almost six and I heard the full moon is supposed to be beautiful tonight.”“If only.” Katie shrugged. “But the full moon isn’t until tomorrow night.”Keith hummed in thought, swearing that he had heard differently on the news earlier. He checked the astronomy app on his smart watch. “No, it’s tonight.” He showed the screen to Katie. “See?”She looked at his watch.And all the color drained from her face.“Oh fuck!”With speed that Keith would have never thought possible in a human, Katie vaulted over the table and dashed for the stairs. She charged through patrons and waiters, spurring cries, insults, and broken dinnerware. At the sound of an exaggerated New Jerseyan accent loudly exclaiming “Holy cannoli!”, Keith could only assume that she had barreled past the doorman and into the outside world.Historians hundreds of years in the future would later recall how the not-a-date-but-also-kind-of-a-date between two geeky, broken individuals in a speakeasy-but-also-not-a-speakeasy had proven that the Book of Revelation was inaccurate. Not because of the usual arguments between theism and atheism, but because the author had simply gotten it wrong. The famous line of “behold a pale horse, and his name that sat on him was Death” just wasn’t true. It should have been written as “behold a green horse, and her name that sat on him was Katie Holt”.At least, that’s how the good and very perturbed townspeople of Plaht City, Oregon would have described the coming of one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse when the woman in question was spotted racing down sidewalks and streets -- and causing all sorts of chaos -- in her rush to get home. She shoved past pedestrians, caused cars to veer off the road, and made all the evening runners wonder what they were doing with their lives as this five-foot-nothing data analyst from Arizona zoomed by with enough horsepower to make the DeLorean time machine look like one of those Walmart shopping carts with a messed up wheel.It wasn’t long before she reached her neighborhood. To the west, the sun had almost vanished below trees and mountains, and, in the east, the full moon grew and grew.“Shit, shit, shit!” she hissed.When she approached her house, she nearly dropped her keys in how fast she had yanked them from her pocket. She threw open the front door, got inside, and slammed it shut behind her.“The moon will be full in three minutes,” spoke a robotic but friendly voice from the myriad of speaker devices scattered throughout her home. It was CHIP, a virtual assistant of her own design, who followed the same protocol that it did during every full moon. “Please make your way into the basement.”Katie stumbled down the hallway, crashing into walls as she removed her clothes. She cried out in pain, feeling her bones begin to shift and her skin begin to change. She covered her face with her hand, nails sharpening against her flesh, and green flashed from between her fingers.Thankfully, she made it to the basement door before she collapsed. The door was sturdy and thick, more fitting of a bomb shelter than a suburban place of residence. She punched a code into the console beside the door. In a series of loud clicks, dozens of bolts unlocked themselves. The door swayed open with a metallic whine.She stepped in, grabbed the handle, and pulled the door closed.“Initiating 'Test Soundtrack Number Three',” said CHIP.Green Day’s latest album began to play through the speakers. It blocked out the sounds of the door’s locks as they resecured themselves. It blocked out the sounds of steel shutters lowering over the windows. It blocked out the sounds of the complicated computer system in the other room, where multiple screens flickered to life to display models, calculations, and brainwaves. It blocked out the monstrous roar that came from the basement.“Good night to you, Katie,” said CHIP, “and good morning to you, Pidge!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“How could she just run away like that?” Keith groaned, sinking further into the couch. “Did I have bad breath? Did I say something stupid? Did I come off too strong? Oh God, it was the singing, wasn’t it!”Hunk hesitated. “Um.”“Go with C,” Lance whispered to his husband. “They did a study proving that whatever answer is C is most likely the correct one.”“Why am I such a disaster?” said Keith.Lance raised a brow. “I didn’t know this test was gonna come with essay questions.” (He yelped when Hunk elbowed him in the ribs.)“You’re not a disaster,” said Hunk, cradling a snoozing Felix in one arm while he patted Keith on the shoulder with his other hand. “Maybe she left the oven on. Or maybe she has IBS.”“For real,” said Lance. “I knew a guy back in college who had IBS. One day, he woke up dead.”Hunk frowned. “How do you wake up dead?”“I appreciate it,” mumbled Keith, “but it’s obvious that I’m the problem. Katie was just different from all the others, you know? I really felt something special with her. I mean, she beat King Goyle from Killbot Phantasm II on her fifth attempt! It took me ten tries!”“Ten tries?” said Lance, appalled. “It took me twenty!”“You guys are getting past King Goyle?” asked Hunk, confused.As the room spun, blending Lance’s fashion-themed decor with Hunk’s endless amount of reality cooking show DVDs, Keith buried his face in his hands. Right. He was still very drunk. The amount of wine he’d consumed at Sal’s had practically washed away most of his brain cells like a biblical flood, leaving behind only two survivors. One of those survivors couldn’t tell if he wanted to vomit, while the other was so invested in his pity party that it’d probably start a fandom about it soon. If there was one ounce of hope to be had between the both of them, though, it’s that they had unanimously agreed to have Keith stumble to the McClain-Garrett household on foot rather than drive.Miraculously, given his inebriated state, he hadn’t fallen into a bush along the way. Also miraculously, given his chronic emotional constipation, Gwen had been hiding in the spare bedroom with her music and her video games during Keith’s whole existential crisis. She had poked her head out when he first walked in, only to frown when she realized that things hadn’t gone well with Katie. Without uttering a word, she had slipped back into her dungeon and hadn’t emerged again since.“Listen, man,” Lance said to Keith, eyes soft, “it’s late, and you need to sleep all this off, alright? We’ll talk more in the morning, and we’ll go get your car then, too.”“Yeah,” murmured Hunk, pulling out some extra pillows from the closet. With Gwen already situated in the spare bedroom, Keith would have to take the couch. “Our house is your house. You know where everything is.”Keith made a vague sound of acknowledgement, barely registering the blanket that was draped over him. The warmth was appreciated, however, as was the glass of water that Lance placed on the coffee table for him and the hug he got from Hunk. They then turned off the lights and retreated upstairs, leaving Keith alone in the dark with his misery, the few slivers of moonlight that had made it through the blinds, and all two of his brain cells.Instead of dozing off like any sane person would, he pulled out his phone, unlocked it with his thumbprint, and stared at the keypad. He could try to call Katie. He had her number from when they swapped insurance information, but…He sighed.
What am I doing?
He had attempted romance with five different people at this point, but it had all failed and he was the common denominator. It felt like the universe was trying to tell him something. Like how he was a total idiot for remotely thinking that his love life could be salvaged -- that he could be salvaged -- and that, regardless of what he told himself, he was trying to replace Acxa. His wife was never coming back no matter who he put in her stead, yet he was too damn broken, too damn scared, to deal with the world alone, and he certainly wasn’t the father that Gwen deserved.
What would Acxa think of me now?
Shame brewed in his gut, thicker than the wine.Defeated, he tossed his phone onto the cushion beside him, leaned back against the couch, and put his arm over his eyes.Approximately fourteen years ago, Keith lived with a great sense of pride that he hadn’t cried since the day his dad died. Despite being a social outcast, a certified troublemaker, and a rebel without a clue, he had managed to survive thanks to some elbow grease and his chronic case of emotional constipation. This was especially true when he had turned eighteen and Lance had gotten him a job at the same restaurant where he worked. Being a waiter had its own hardships and definitely required a certain amount of aloofness when it came to shrugging off the daily dinner rush.“Attention, Rebulon Roadhouse!” he called out one night, as he often did at least fifteen times per shift. “We have a very special birthday today! Amanda here is turning forty! Let’s all give her a very Rebulon yee-haw!”The restaurant, brimming with rowdy customers and bustling waiters, screamed “Yee-haw!” in return.Amanda waved happily from atop a horse saddle that had been attached to a wooden platform with wheels. The owners of Rebulon had continuously sworn that the device, affectionately dubbed “The Birthday Saddle”, was a tradition they had carried in their own families for decades and was an experience completely unique to their restaurant. Sometimes, though, people would come in, stare at the saddle and the rest of the cowboy-themed decor, and promptly say: “You know what this place reminds me of? Texas Road--ouch!”Because they would never be able to finish the thought before Rebulon’s owners roundhouse kicked them out the door.(Needless to say, Keith had quickly learned to keep his comments about trademark infringement to himself.)When Amanda was done, she slid off the saddle, rejoined her friends and family at their table, and clapped her hands in delight at the plate of soft-serve ice cream that Keith then placed in front of her.“Enjoy,” he said with a small smile, “and happy birthday.”He grabbed the saddle and dragged it back toward the waiter station. The restaurant’s walls were adorned with artwork, neon signs, and framed caricatures celebrating the American Southwest, beer, and country stars. Music videos played back to back across the flat-screen TVs in the bar area, the current one blaring Brooks & Dunn’s “My Maria” -- which Keith admittedly murmured along to under his breath.“Excuse me? Young man?”He looked up from the waiter station, acknowledging an elderly couple at the nearby table. “Yeah, can I help you?”“I don’t mean to bother you,” said the woman, her gentle voice almost inaudible against the restaurant’s usual ruckus, “and I know you’re not our waiter, but we’ve been waiting ten minutes for a refill on our waters.”“No worries, ma’am. I’ll get you some more water.” Keith looked at the kitchen with a scowl, eyes searching. He wasn’t frustrated at the couple for requesting water. He was frustrated at their lack of service from the waiter who had actually been assigned to their table and was apparently slacking on his duties. “Where the hell is James?” he muttered.Lance passed by, carrying a tray of freshly-cooked entrees. Keith stopped him with a hand to his arm.“Have you seen James?”“He’s training the new person today,” said Lance.“New person?”“Yeah.” Lance pointed toward a distant table. “Over there.”Keith followed his finger. James Griffin was in the midst of introducing himself to a newly-seated family, somehow able to look posh and proper in even the plain shirt, waist apron, and denim jeans that comprised their uniforms. He gestured to the woman who was shadowing him -- tall, dark hair, eyes that pierced Keith’s soul when she glanced in his general direction.“Who’s that?” asked Keith.“Acxa,” said Lance. “She just moved to town. She’s in my math class.” He scoffed. “Like I said, James is supposed to be training her, but he’s been more trying to shoot his shot with her since she got here. She doesn’t seem to be biting, though. Either way, you’ll probably be stuck covering his tables all night.”Keith hummed in thought, clearly distracted.“Keith?” Lance waved his hand in front of Keith’s face, which garnered no response. “Oi, Keith! Stop staring at Acxa!”Keith broke out of his trance. “I’m not staring at her!”Lance eyed him. “Were you staring at James?”“I wasn’t staring at all!”“It’s okay to like both, y’know. Not sure if anyone ever gave you that talk.”Keith frowned. “Yeah, you would be an expert on that, wouldn’t you?” He nodded at the sirloin on Lance’s tray. “If that steak had a sway in its step, you’d be asking it out in a heartbeat.”“Hey!” Lance glared. “I’ll have you know that this sirloin is one sexy piece of beef!”Rolling his eyes, Keith headed toward the kitchen to fetch some water for the elderly couple. In the process, he called back to Lance: “You’re only saying that because Hunk cooked it!”Lance blushed. He looked around frantically, hoping no one had heard Keith. God forbid if Plaht City ever learned that Lance McClain, flirter extraordinaire, could actually have a legitimate crush on someone.It was entertainment, nonetheless.A few hours later, Keith would bid adieu to his coworkers and begin the long walk home. Shiro had offered to pick him up, but, having been at Atlas all day working on his dissertation, Keith didn’t want his brother to overexert himself. He wouldn’t have the trek for much longer anyway; he was only a few paychecks away from buying that motorcycle he wanted.Besides, Plaht was peaceful at night. It almost reminded him of all those times he spent stargazing with his father in the desert. You just had to replace the mountains and sagebrush with concrete and trees -- and remember that the stars were still there even when you couldn’t see them past the city’s light pollution. Walking home gave Keith the space he needed to look up at that vast cosmos and count down the days until he was exploring it in person. It also allowed him to continue his father’s tradition of helping the community.Plaht City didn’t have that many barns to build, hay to transport, livestock to feed, or trucks to fix. It certainly didn’t have horses who needed their hooves trimmed. Its population alone surpassed the total number of people living in all of northeastern Nevada, so there were far more professionals a mere phone call away who could tend to everyone’s needs. Keith still wanted to help, though.So when he passed by an alleyway and caught sight of a group of thugs harassing a woman for her purse, he lifted his bandana over his nose and answered the call.“Hand it over, dollface!” growled one of the thugs, yanking the bag from the woman’s hands hard enough to knock her to the ground. It spurred some laughter from his fellow hooligans, who then crowded around him as he pulled the zipper open. “Let’s see what she’s got, eh?”Keith tapped him on the shoulder.“Huh?” The thug turned around. “Who the hell are you?”“That’s not your purse,” Keith said, cracking his knuckles, “and she doesn’t know you.”The thug stared at him, a bit perplexed. “Is that a reference to something?”But the thug would never know, because Keith punched him in the face.The thug reared back. Keith used the opportunity to grab him by his shirt and shove him into the nearby wall. His nose made contact with the brick, and he slumped to the ground.The other thugs stared at their fallen comrade, shocked, before they looked at Keith.Keith got into a fighting stance, fists raised and eyes narrowed.“This kid thinks he’s a superhero!” snarled one of the thugs. “Get ‘im, boys!”They charged. Keith held his own pretty well despite their numbers. He dodged their punches and kicks, giving more than a few in return. He utilized all the skills he had learned since he was orphaned, passing from foster home to foster home and school bully to school bully -- the latter of which hadn’t ceased even after his adoption into the Shirogane family. It was true that monsters came in all shapes and sizes, whether they be dragons, wolves, or other humans, and to survive was to fight.Just when he thought he was done, surrounded by a pile of moaning ruffians, one other thug came up from behind him with a knife.Keith turned, eyes wide, and he raised his arms to defend himself--
Smack!
Huh, strange, getting stabbed was supposed to hurt.But Keith hadn’t gotten stabbed. Instead, the thug stood there, dazed. The knife he held high fell to the ground. His body followed it a second later.In his place, holding a pipe, was…“Acxa?” breathed Keith.Sure enough, his coworker stood there, those piercing eyes (a deep blue, he now realized from the proximity) glancing at the bodies all around him. There was almost a militaristic air about her, something rare among teenagers, that both allured Keith and intimidated him.“How did you…?” He hesitated. “Were you following me?”“Do you do this a lot in your free time?” she asked, ignoring his question.“Do what?”“Run around as a masked vigilante?”Keith blinked, realizing that his bandana was still over his nose. He pulled it down. “Uh, if that’s what you want to call it, sure.”“It’s hard to find people with a similar taste in hobbies as me.” She held out her hand. “I don’t think we were ever properly introduced back at Rebulon. You seem to know my name, though. What’s yours?”He shook her hand. “Keith.”She stepped past him, picking the purse up from the ground and handing it to the woman, who had just finished dusting off her skirt.“Thank you!” the woman said. “Both of you! Thank you so much!”“Happy to help,” said Acxa. “Get home safe.”The woman nodded and hurried around the corner.“Well,” Acxa told Keith, “we better be getting home ourselves. We have school in the morning.”As she walked toward the street, she looked back at him and smiled. It was a small smile, but a smile nonetheless.“See you around, Mister Superhero.”With that, she vanished, leaving Keith to stand there and try to process what just happened. One of the thugs groaned, weakly lifting his head from the ground.“Dude, she’s…totally into you.”Then the thug passed out again.Of course, due to Keith’s emotional constipation, the thug’s words had been lost to him. He and Acxa did spend more time together after that, though. Between classes at Javeeno High. During shifts at Rebulon Roadhouse. After long nights of patrolling the streets of Plaht City for scum and villainy. It wasn't long before they became nearly inseparable, so when Keith was invited a few months later to some senior party in the forests outside of town, Acxa came with him.He remembered that day fondly. Riding his motorcycle down roads that curved along Oregonian cliffs and the Pacific Ocean, Eric Church singing through the speakers. The air was cold, a bit misty even, but the sun was bright and Acxa was a solid presence against his back. Her arms were wrapped around his waist, her touch burning through his leather jacket. He relished the feeling; it was just as addicting as the adrenaline that came with driving fast and fighting hard. He sorely missed it when they reached the campground -- which was, as expected, covered in classmates and adolescent shenanigans -- and she pulled away from him to remove her helmet.“Keith! Acxa!”Lance emerged from the crowd, a beer in one hand, and he gave them both a hug.“I’m glad you guys could make it!” he said, having to yell a bit over the music booming from multiple cars. “There’s plenty of food if you’re hungry!”Keith wasn’t one for parties, but he acknowledged that high school would be over soon and a lot of the people that he had practically grown up with would be ditching Plaht for colleges elsewhere. He enjoyed what time he could with the people he liked, even partaking in some of the alcohol that a few of his classmates’ older siblings had procured for the event, and he avoided other people that he had butted heads with on multiple occasions. This included James, who wouldn’t stop glaring at him and Acxa.Eventually, the sun set and the music stopped. The crowd dispersed, gathering around campfires to share memories and plans for the future. Keith, watching the flames flicker at one of the more isolated pits, noticed Acxa look longingly in his direction before disappearing into the woods.“You should follow her,” said Lance when he took a seat beside Keith.“Is something wrong?”Lance shrugged. “Nah. One of the nature trails is that way. She probably just went for a walk. But you should still go talk to her.”Keith raised a brow. “Why?”Lance stared at him, unimpressed. “Really, samurai?”“What?”“Just talk to her, okay? Trust me on this.”“Okay…”Despite not fully knowing what was going on, Keith stood and followed Acxa. He would’ve felt bad about leaving Lance alone -- if Hunk hadn’t appeared to take his place, handing a burger to Lance that he had grilled himself and turning him into a stuttering mess. The wholesome scene would soon vanish behind shadows and foliage, the laughter of teenagers replaced by the sounds of trilling insects and waves lapping at a distant shore. The moon was bright, accompanied by stars, and the silhouettes of the Douglas firs all around him resembled hands raised in lunar worship. Keith found Acxa in the center of a small clearing, laying on her back as she watched the sky. He plopped down beside her.“What’re you doing?” he asked.“Stargazing,” she said. “Just another one of my favorite hobbies.”“Yeah,” he said, looking up at the cosmos. “Mine, too.”They lay there in silence together, tracing the constellations with their fingertips and picturing what was happening on planets billions of lightyears away. Like the countryside charm of rural Nevada, the moment was a haven for Keith.“Have you figured out what you’re gonna be when you grow up?” asked Acxa, echoing a question that had been a common icebreaker at the party.“Astronaut,” said Keith. “I’m trying to get into the Space Program at Atlas. But…”Acxa looked at him. “But?”Keith hesitated to say. It was difficult for him to open up to people. The walls around his heart had their purpose, just like all things in life. At the same time, there was something soft about Acxa’s voice, something safe and reassuring, that inspired him to try:“I’m scared that I’m not good enough. I mean, I get in fights all the time, my grades are mediocre, and sometimes I wonder if I only made it this far because I got lucky. You met my brother, Shiro. He’s super smart. He’ll have his PhD soon and running NASA before you know it. But me? That’s not me. I’m not sure who I am.”Acxa sat up. “You’re more important than you think, Keith. Will you do something for me?”“What?”“Close your eyes.”He studied her, curious about her intentions, but she only gave him a nod and a small smile.Trusting her completely, he obliged her request.“Just imagine it,” she murmured, scooting closer to him. “You’re in a rocket ship, climbing higher and higher into the air. Past the atmosphere, past the moon, past Mars and Jupiter and Saturn. You still have so far to go, and so many worlds to see. Maybe you’ll head for the Eagle Nebula. Dance among those pillars of creation. Maybe you’ll head for Andromeda. Witness for yourself how neighbors can be so different and yet so similar. Maybe you’ll learn why we exist. Maybe you won’t because the mystery is part of the fun. No matter what, you have stars burning along your fingertips, and the universe is yours.”Keith sighed through his nose, finding peace in the thoughts and in her voice.“So don’t be scared,” she said. “You’re already there.”Slowly, he opened his eyes.The Earth materialized around him, both familiar and foreign. There weren’t any words that could describe how he felt, as if he had truly ventured to the stars.She chuckled at his expression. “Feel better?”“Yeah,” he said, sitting up with her.He had a lot of emotions, none of which he could articulate. The pull he had always felt toward Acxa was stronger than ever. Rather than trying to explain it, he, as all Koganes had done before him, opted for instinct instead.“Acxa,” he murmured, “can I--”But impulsivity must have also run in her blood, for she then grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and kissed him.That first kiss would become another, and then another, and then many more. It would become a relationship, a proposal, marriage, and then a family. Keith had gotten dangerously close to crying at his wedding and when Gwen was born, but he hadn’t. (All the crying had unintentionally been outsourced to Shiro, who would bawl when Keith and Acxa spoke their vows and when he held Gwen for the first time.) Despite being young parents, he and Acxa got by. They started classes at Atlas and moved into an apartment together, balancing their studies with part-time jobs and caring for Gwen. Shiro, Lance, and Hunk, now Gwen’s makeshift uncles, all pitched in when they could, ensuring that she had the support she needed to thrive and that her parents had the breaks they needed to not go clinically insane.Keith remembered visiting the Plaht City Zoo when Gwen was only a few years old. It was a simple family outing; a nice escape from school and work. From lions (which Keith liked), to hippopotamuses (which Keith really liked), to Madagascar hissing cockroaches (which Keith did not like, thank you very much), they saw a variety of animals that had Gwen giggling in joy and wonder. One of the last exhibits they saw was the wolf enclosure. Gwen ran up to the glass and gazed, bright-eyed, at the pack of wolves lounging around an outcrop.“Look!” she said to her parents. “Wolfies!”Keith had to pause at the sight of them. You could blame it on his childhood, but wolves, to him, spurred a reaction similar to a lot of people when they encountered heights, needles, or Madagascar hissing cockroaches. Thankfully, Acxa had no problem joining Gwen’s side to share the moment.“You know what I heard?” she asked Gwen. “What?”Acxa leaned in, as if her words were some mystical secret: “Wolves were created to protect the forests.”Gwen gasped. “Really?”Acxa nodded. “They’re curious things, too. You just gotta know how to talk to them.”She cupped her mouth and howled. Quiet at first, then louder.The wolves stared at her, ears perked. Eventually, a few of them began to yip, and then they all lifted their noses to howl together. The symphony made Gwen bounce in excitement.Keith smiled, fond.“Come on,” said Acxa, taking Gwen’s hand, “we gotta be heading back home.”Gwen pouted. “Okay.” She waved sadly at the wolves. “Bye, wolfies.”“Everything alright, love?” Keith murmured to Acxa, noting her slow movement.“Yeah,” she whispered in return. “I’m just tired today, that’s all.”They headed for their car. While Keith buckled Gwen into her seat, Acxa excused herself to the gift shop. She returned a few minutes later with a bag, and she reached into it.“I got you something, my little starlight…”She pulled out a stuffed animal. It was a wolf with blue fur and yellow eyes, its unique coloring the result of a special collaboration between the zoo and Atlas University’s Space Program.Gwen’s eyes lit up. She reached for the toy with eager hands, and she held it close during the whole ride back to the apartment.She would go on to name it “Kosmo”. Keith assumed that she meant “Cosmo”, as in “cosmos” or “cosmic”, but he couldn’t bring himself to correct her when, later that day, as he read through one of his accounting textbooks, Gwen held up an adorable drawing of her and her new canine companion, misspelled names and everything.“Daddy!” she said. “Color with me!”Keith chuckled. “Sure.”He grabbed the bookmark he always used -- an old, wrinkled pamphlet for the Space Program that he had had in his possession since he was a teenager. For a second, he stared at it longingly.Then he smiled in acceptance and closed the book around it.Just as he slid off the couch to join Gwen at the coffee table, he heard glass shatter from the kitchen.“Acxa?” he called, knowing that she had been working on dinner. “Did you drop something?”Only silence answered him.Furrowing his brows, he stood, headed for the kitchen, and paused, horrified, at the sight of Acxa on the floor.“Acxa!”She wasn’t responsive. She wouldn’t be responsive again for a while. That night was a blur to Keith, from the long ambulance ride to the hospital, to trying to keep Gwen calm, to waiting eagerly by Acxa’s bedside for some semblance of what was going on. Thankfully, all the nurses who had questions and all the paperwork that he needed to fill out kept his mind busy. But he would be numb, for the most part. He had to be to survive, just like when he was a kid. Instinct took precedence over emotion. Feelings were second place to action. How else could he not have a breakdown when the doctor came in with some test results and spoke a single bullet:
Cancer.
Acxa was definitely stronger than Keith, because she didn’t let the news change who she was. She was still so kind, brave, and tough, an amazing wife and an even better mother, despite having to begin strenuous treatment for her sickness. Though she had to drop out of her own classes at Atlas, she encouraged Keith to keep up with his studies. He managed to graduate, where his internship at Marmora Tax Services turned into a full time offer, and he made enough money to carry the family on his own. As Acxa’s condition worsened, he took over most of Gwen’s care, too.Keith was, again, reminded that monsters came in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes those monsters were dragons and wolves. Sometimes they were other humans. Other times, they were diseases.The monster inside Acxa was aggressive. Relentless. He saw hope in her eyes, determination to beat it, but it was winning. In less than a year, the spare bedroom in their apartment was converted to hospice. Lance, Hunk, and Shiro kept Gwen out of the house as much as they could, away from the tragedy, and helped Keith with caregiving for Acxa when he had to work. Outside of his job, Keith stayed at home to look after his wife, refusing to leave her side. He was exhausted, though he never showed it. They were two warriors stuck in a never-ending battle, but neither of them would have to fight it alone. Not as long as they had each other.“I know this can’t be easy to watch,” spoke one of the nurses who had come to the apartment to check on Acxa. “For her or you.”Keith didn’t answer. He only watched from afar as Acxa played with Gwen. Gwen was showing her all her recent drawings, and -- as sick as she was -- Acxa found the energy to enthuse over her daughter’s talents like there was a tomorrow.“I don’t know if anyone has talked to you and Acxa about it yet,” said the nurse, “but, given her prognosis, have you heard of Oregon’s Death with Dignity Act?”There it was. Another bullet. A bullet that shot straight through Keith’s stupefaction. It shot through his determination, his hope, and the idea that maybe, just maybe, Acxa would get better someday.“No.”Keith nearly jumped at the voice.Acxa stood at the doorway, Gwen in her arms. Gwen had fallen asleep, snuggled up against her mother’s chest, clinging to her as if the universe was destined to tear them apart and she wouldn’t let it. Though Acxa faced death no matter what choice she made, she didn’t look it in the eye; instead, she bent her head, kissed Gwen on her temple, and whispered that same word into her hair:
“No.”
The nurse bowed his head in respect, hand to his chest.So Acxa kept fighting, kept hoping, and kept spending time with Gwen -- only to grow weaker by the day. No less than a month later, she had stopped eating and drinking. She slept more than anything. One morning, her breathing became labored. Recalling the signs that the nurses had warned him about, Keith, trying not to panic, raced for his phone and dialed Shiro.“Get here now,” said Keith.“What’s wrong?” said Shiro, having been out and about with Gwen, Hunk, and Lance.“Just get here as soon as you can!”“We’re on our way!” he heard Hunk yell from the background.Keith pulled the phone away from his ear, eyes shut, throat tight, doing everything in his power to hold it together. That numbness vanished, replaced with hurt and fear. Emotion shoved instinct aside, and--“Keith…”He gasped.Slowly, he turned toward Acxa’s bed.She stared at him with lidded eyes, and she raised her hand.He sat down on the mattress and took her hand in his. Her skin was so cold. He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of her fingers.“I’m here,” he said.“I’m…” Acxa exhaled, shaky. “I’m scared.”It was hard to believe that this woman who had fought by his side for so long could ever be scared by anything. He couldn’t blame her, though. He was scared, too. He wanted nothing more but to cling to her just as Gwen had done, to wrap his arms around her and protect her from all those monsters, to scream at the universe to not take something else from him. Please don’t leave me, he wanted to say.“Will you do something for me?” he said instead. “Close your eyes.”She obeyed.
You’re gonna be okay. You have to be.
“Just imagine it,” he whispered against her hand. “You’re in a rocket ship, climbing higher and higher into the air.”
I can’t do this without you.
“Past the atmosphere, past the moon, past Mars and Jupiter and Saturn.”
Stay with me.
“You still have so far to go, and so many worlds to see.”
Gwen needs you.
“Maybe you’ll head for the Eagle Nebula. Dance among those pillars of creation. Maybe you’ll head for Andromeda. Witness for yourself how neighbors can be so different and yet so similar.”
I need you.
“Maybe you’ll learn why we exist. Maybe you won’t because the mystery is part of the fun.” 
Keep fighting. Please.
“No matter what, you have stars burning along your fingertips, and the universe is yours.”
I can’t lose you, too.
“So don’t be scared. You’re already there.”
Please don’t die.
Acxa sighed, but she didn’t open her eyes.Her hand went limp in his.Lance, Hunk, Shiro, and Gwen arrived shortly after. Keith met them at the door into Acxa’s room.“Is everything okay?” Lance asked, frantic.Keith looked at him, eyes wet.Lance stared and stared, at first in confusion and then in denial, and he shook his head. “No. No, no, no…”Keith nodded.“I’m so sorry, man!” sobbed Lance, throwing his arms around Keith.“Where’s Mommy?” asked Gwen, still too young to understand. She held Kosmo tight against her chest.Shiro, wiping an arm across his eyes, picked her up. “It’s okay, Gwennie,” he said, carrying her away from the scene. “It’s okay.”“Daddy, where’s Mommy?”But, in that moment, all Keith could do was cling to Lance, face buried in his neck.And, for the first time since his dad had died, he cried.Keith awoke with a gasp.He was back on Lance and Hunk’s couch, seven years later, the full moon peering at him through the window blinds. The memories faded away but the pain remained, and, before he could process reality for what it was, hot streams coursed down his face. He touched his cheek, the sensation one he hadn’t felt in a while, and he pulled his hand away to examine the tears that now coated his fingertips.Then a door opened. Feet padded along the wooden floor. Gwen, having been heading to the kitchen for something, stopped at the couch.He turned his face away from her, not wanting her to see him cry. He had to be strong. For her.“You’re crying,” she said, voice soft.“It’s allergies,” he muttered.She sighed.“Dad, just stop, okay?”He looked back at her. Her eyes were as distant as they usually were, though they were also filled with all the emotions that he, himself, had spent so long hiding. He recalled Katie’s words.“I just…”He closed his eyes as more tears came.“I just miss your mom. I miss her so much.”“I know,” Gwen murmured.She lifted the blanket and slid in beside him. She rested her head on his chest.“I miss her, too,” she said.She moved her hand out from underneath the blanket, revealing Kosmo. She offered it to him.Keith sniffed, gently taking the wolf in one hand, and he smiled. He wrapped his other arm around Gwen and held her close.Together, they stared at the moon through the window blinds until the tears stopped and sleep claimed them both.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Needless to say, Keith had decided to put a pause on dating.A month had passed since that fateful night with Katie at Sal’s Speakeasy. It was a night that had made him question if he was truly worthy of love, and it was a night where, for the first time in years, there had actually been some headway between him and Gwen. Though their moment together hadn’t led to any significant changes -- things weren’t going to improve overnight, for neither him nor her -- there had been changes. Gwen was a little more patient with him than before. She didn’t mind sitting a tad bit closer whenever they watched television after dinner, either. While she wasn’t any less embarrassed to stand next to him in public than other pre-teens with their own parents, she no longer acted like her eyes were going to melt out of their sockets as if acknowledging his existence was the equivalent of staring into the Ark of the Covenant. Hell, upon returning to school, her weekly visits to Principal Sanda’s office had even improved to biweekly visits.It still wasn’t the most ideal father and daughter relationship out there, but at least it wasn’t a dumpster fire anymore. Not a blazing one, anyway. More like a smoldering one, with a well-intentioned bum trying to beat the embers out with a dirty pair of boxer shorts. Katie may have vanished from Keith’s life but she had left her mark, and he couldn’t stop thinking about her no matter how hard he tried. It was only last week when he had stared longingly at that small slip of paper bearing her insurance information, wondering again if he should call her. But he had then scolded himself for acting like a lovesick teenager, tossed the paper into the trash, and watched the garbage truck carry that same bag of trash away like a valkyrie guiding a warrior’s soul to Valhalla at an ungodly hour on a Tuesday.Knowing that there was no future with anyone else if he insisted on pining for someone he couldn’t have, Keith had also made the call to delete the dating apps from his phone and lose himself in his job until his feelings for Katie finally subsided. It was because of that decision that he found himself emerging from the humble household of Klaizap and Moontow Arus one Friday evening, a full three hours after what should’ve been the end of his workday.“We can’t thank you enough!” said Klaizap as he led Keith toward the driveway. He was short, with almond-colored hair, a round face, and an accent that Keith couldn’t quite place. “We had no idea that we had sent in the wrong documents. You coming all the way out here to help us was a godsend!”“You’re welcome,” said Keith with a gentle smile, and he gestured to the silver laptop beneath his arm. “I’ll get these forms organized and submitted when I’m back in the office on Monday.”Klaizap shook Keith’s hand. “Marmora is always looking out for us little guys!”At that, Keith couldn’t help but gaze out over Arusian Acres, a farm with wide, grassy fields framed by tall trees. Crops and tractors intermingled with corrals full of cows, horses, and goats, all alive beneath a gentle sunset that could’ve been the setting for a Grant Wood painting. It was a quaint scene that made Keith nostalgic.“I grew up around farms and ranches,” he murmured to Klaizap. “What you do means a lot to me.”“You get home safe, Keith!” called Moontow from the front porch. She pointed at the sky, where the moon was a pale orb waiting to shine. “All the crazies come out during full moons!”Keith nodded, bid farewell to the Aruses, and approached his car. He was excited to start his weekend. With Gwen at Lance and Hunk’s for a few days, he’d have the house to himself to catch up on his shows, finish some yard work, and enjoy his private collection of fancy-smelling bath bombs that he would totally deny having if anyone ever asked.Or he would’ve been excited to start his weekend, if he hadn’t looked up just then and spotted a familiar woman by the barn up ahead, exchanging cash with one of Klaizap’s farmhands for a small cage of chickens.He nearly dropped his keys.“Katie?” he breathed.Oblivious to his existence, Katie carried the cage to the back of her SUV. Her new, shiny, green SUV. An SUV she must’ve bought in the past month that she had spent missing from his life.He curled his fingers into a fist. Whether out of anger or anxiety, he didn’t know. What he did know was that he was walking toward her before he could stop himself. She closed her car’s trunk and climbed into the driver’s seat, ready to push down on the ignition, and that’s when he caught her attention by tapping a knuckle against the passenger side window.She looked over, face falling at the sight of him, and the words she mouthed were practically audible.
Oh shit.
Keith narrowed his eyes.“Oh shit” was right.Yet the more he stared at her, the more his rage abated. In its place was hurt, longing, and confusion. The same hurt, longing, and confusion that had tortured him for weeks.She sighed and unlocked the door.He opened it and got in.There was an awkward silence between them as he placed his laptop on the floor and thought about what to say. Despite the days he had spent rehearsing moments like this in his brain, in case he ever ran into her again, he struggled to speak. She wasn’t any better, crossing her arms over her chest and avoiding his gaze, overall sheepish in her demeanor.Then something bleated.Keith blinked. He turned in his seat.A goat stared back at him.It was in a cage, like the chickens beside it. Keith had never understood why some people found goats cute. Mainly because of the eyes. Those creepy, rectangular eyes. No wonder Satan was portrayed as a caprid. When the goat bleated again, undoubtedly demanding his soul in some foul language that predated the Sumerians, Keith grimaced and looked at Katie.“What’s with all the animals?”Katie hesitated. “It’s, uh, for a friend. I’m renting them. For a friend. Well, a friend’s kid. He’s having a petting zoo thing for his birthday.”Keith raised a brow but decided not to press more on the matter, instead saying: “I haven’t seen you around at all. I know Plaht is big, but I figured that I’d at least spot you downtown at some point.”“I’ve been sick.”He studied her. She definitely looked exhausted. Capable, but exhausted. Like someone finally crawling back to civilization after a bad case of the flu. He felt a bit guilty, but he still had questions. So many questions.“Why did you run away that night at Sal’s?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.Katie sunk in on herself, that shame increasing tenfold.Keith frowned, wounded further by her silence. “Was it something I did?”She turned to him then, horrified. “No! No, Keith. It wasn’t you. Trust me, it…” She looked away. “It wasn’t you.”“Then what was it?”“I’m a complicated person. I have a complicated life. Honestly, I shouldn’t have gone out with you in the first place.”Keith made a face. “Okay…”Katie winced. “Crap. I didn’t mean it like that. What I’m trying to say is…”She wrestled to find the right words and opted for a groan instead, seconds away from banging her head against the steering wheel. In any other situation, Keith would’ve found the sight amusing -- even cute -- given how confident she had acted at Sal’s.“I mean,” she said, “I shouldn’t have put myself in that position. I didn’t think it through, and I let my emotions get the better of me, and I--”“I get it,” said Keith, unsure if he should be offended or not.“You don’t,” said Katie.“Then tell me.”“I can’t.”“Why?”She scowled. “I’ve got baggage, okay?”“So do I, in case you haven’t noticed.”She shook her head. “You don’t have my baggage.”Keith opened his mouth. He closed it. He opened it again. He closed it again. He had even more questions than before, not helped at all by the same elusiveness that had been following Katie around since they first met. He admittedly wanted to laugh, too.“You think your baggage is so heavy?” he muttered. “Alright. Let me tell you some more about my baggage. A few days after Acxa passed, I remember sitting there on the bed we used to share together. I remember holding this box, and in that box was her ashes. The same person I had pledged my life to, the same person I had raised a child with, reduced to nothing but powder that could slip through my fingers at any moment and blow away in the wind like she never existed. I remember feeling nothing and everything all at once, just wanting to hide from the real world that expected me to pick up and move on as if half of me hadn’t died with her.“Then someone came into the room. I just wanted to be alone. Not strong, not brave, not proud, not any of that bullshit that I had spent years telling myself was the mature thing to do. I wanted to be alone and angry and hurt, like I was when I was a kid, but the universe had other plans for me -- it always did -- and so, in rage, I let my emotions get the better of me. I screamed at that person. I lashed out. I roared at them. I told them to get out, to leave me alone. “But then I turned, and I saw that it was Gwen. She was just a little girl then, and I had…”Keith exhaled shakily.“The way she was looking at me, how she was so scared -- scared of the one person she should’ve been able to trust above all else -- lives with me even more than the memory of that goddamn box. She turned and ran, and things were never the same between us after that.”He met Katie’s eyes, baring his own shame.“So it was true when I told you that everything going on with her is all my fault, and all I can think about at night is what kind of father does that? What kind of father can’t hold it together for his daughter? Every time she closes her eyes, does she think about that day I yelled at her? Does it haunt her more than seeing her mom wither away? Does she have her anxiety disorder because of what I did? Yeah, things seem a little bit better now, but how long before it all turns to shit again? How long before the universe throws another rock at me and I lose control? Sometimes I wonder how long I can really last before it finally drags me down, and Gwen has to then watch me wither away, too.”Katie stared at him, eyes glassy. She looked like she wanted to reach for him. Hug him, maybe. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it.He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry. I keep doing this. Dumping a bunch of heavy stuff on you.”“It’s alright,” she murmured. “I’m glad you feel safe enough that you can talk to me.”Keith managed a small smile. “You’re really easy to talk to. You made me sing, for God’s sake. I have my friends and my brother, but, before you, Acxa was the only other person who could make me feel that way. Like…”“Like?”“Like it’s okay to be broken. Like I don’t have to be strong. Not all the time.”Katie hummed in thought. “It’s kinda funny, actually.”“What is?”“How you’re saying it’s easy to talk to me, I guess. I get along with data better than I do with other people. When it comes to data, if you know to put one after zero, everything else just kinda falls into place. It’s predictable. It’s reliable. Other people? Not so much. Not to me, at least.”Keith was confused. “But how you sounded at Sal’s, that advice you gave me--”“--originally came from my brother.”“Your brother?”Katie nodded, somber. “I was a lot like Gwen at her age. I just didn’t fit in with what the world wanted me to be, you know? I was too nerdy. I was too much of a tomboy. I was too weird. I got into trouble a lot because I didn’t always accept ‘no’ as an answer. I didn’t know how to handle it, and my parents didn’t always get along because they didn’t know how to handle it, either. My brother, Matt, kept me grounded, and he always had a way of talking me off my ledges. He was really down to Earth like that.”“‘Was’?” whispered Keith, a word he unfortunately knew by heart.“He died a while ago. In a car crash.” Katie leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes, undoubtedly to stop a stray tear or two. “To be honest, I moved here to also get away from everything that reminded me of him. Not that it’s helped as much as I’d hoped.”Keith’s gaze softened. “I’m so sorry.”This time, she was the one who managed a small smile. A small, broken smile; the kind of smile that could only be shared by those who had sat on empty beds with boxes full of ashes. “Like you told me before -- one day at a time, right?”An alarm went off. She pulled out her phone and silenced the sound.“I should be going,” she said regretfully. “Gwen can keep the CDs I gave her. Tell her it’s a gift, from one rebel girl to another.”“So that’s it?” said Keith, hating how frail he sounded. The logical side of him acknowledged how odd it was to treat the situation like a breakup when he and Katie had never gotten together, but that’s what it felt like. “This is goodbye? You’re not gonna tell me the real reason you ran away that night?”“Just trust me, Keith, when I say it’s not you. I like you. I really do. In another universe, I would want to see where things can go between us. But, in this one, I don’t want to hurt you or Gwen. I’m sorry.”Keith sighed. It already hurt, to put it lightly. Far more than any of his actual breakups. There was nothing he could do about it, though. “I understand. I wish you all the best, Katie.”Katie smiled at him again. It was another wan smile. Wan but beautiful. It made things hurt even worse. “You, too. You deserve it.”With that, Keith opened the door, stepped out, and shut it. He didn’t dare to meet her eyes one last time through the window. He couldn’t. He could only walk back toward his own car, as adamant in his resolve as he had been when he had tossed away her insurance information. In some ways, he felt better. In other ways, he didn’t. Maybe he’d stop by the store on the way home. Some beer sounded nice along with all the shows, yard work, and fancy-smelling bath bombs the world had to offer.And once those things were all done and gone, at least he’d have his job to keep him busy come Monday.He felt for the laptop beneath his arm.The same laptop that wasn’t there.He froze. He looked under his arm. He patted his pockets. He searched around frantically for it.Then he realized that he must’ve left it on the floor in Katie’s car.The same car that was now pulling away from the barn.“Katie!” he yelled, running toward her car. “Wait! I left my--”She didn’t hear or see him. Instead, she took off down the dirt road leading back to the highway as if her life depended on it.“Shit,” he muttered, and he hurried to his car.
I’m not a creep. I just need my laptop back.
Those words were like a mantra on Keith’s lips, murmured over and over as he pursued Katie into Plaht proper. She still hadn’t noticed him, so focused on getting to her destination that he had to wonder if she was late for something. (He now regretted throwing away her insurance information. Phone calls, even for a Millennial, were far easier than car chases.)He tried flashing his high beams. He tried honking here and there. All that did was confuse the traffic around him, and he didn’t want to risk another accident. Especially with how Katie was already driving fast and erratically. Maybe that damn goat had possessed her.Though he lost sight of her once she turned into a neighborhood not too far from his own, he eventually found her SUV parked in front of a small house. Her house, he presumed. She had just finished carrying cages of chickens inside when he pulled up. He got out of his car, glanced into her SUV to confirm that his laptop was still on the floor, and he approached the house’s front door.He rang the doorbell.“Katie?” he called, hoping that she could hear him. “It’s me, Keith! I left my laptop in your car.”Nothing answered.He raised his fist to knock on the door.Apparently, Katie had been in such a rush that she hadn’t closed it properly, because it swayed open at his touch.He hesitated, not feeling any less like a creep than when he was following her. But he needed that laptop. In addition to it containing sensitive taxpayer information, Kolivan would have his head if he lost it.He stepped inside.The foyer led into a hallway. Katie’s furniture was simple and clean, mixed in with a few family photos and some nerdy memorabilia. Keith would’ve taken a moment to admire it all, but a loud crash and a distant curse from Katie caught his attention. A chicken, having gotten loose from its cage, crossed between the opposing rooms at the end of the hallway, spewing clucks and feathers in its wake.Keith, brow raised, headed toward its origin.In the kitchen was a thick, steel door. A steel door that led into some kind of basement. A basement that Katie was frantically moving the farm animals into. She tilted the goat’s cage at the top of the staircase and let gravity do its thing. The goat bleated as it slid down to the bottom, probably calling for the armies of Hell to come rescue it.“Katie?” said Keith.She nearly jumped ten feet into the air, and she looked at him as if he had, well, followed her home like a creep. “Keith? What the hell are you doing here?”He raised his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry! I left my laptop in your car! Can you unlock it so I can grab it real quick? Then I’ll be out of your hair forever! Promise!”She glared at him. “You need to get out right now!”He stepped back, a bit surprised by her hostility. Not that it wasn’t warranted, but it still caught him off guard. It was as if she was about to go off like a bomb and was worried for his survival, not as if she wanted to kill him. Before he could respond, though, a robotic voice echoed throughout the house:“The moon will be full in three minutes. Please make your way into the basement.”“Is that Alexa?” asked Keith.“I am not Alexa,” said the voice. “I am CHIP, a virtual assistant program.”“That sounds like Alexa to me.”“I am not Alexa. Warning. Foreign human lifeform detected in household. Given oncoming transformation, I recommend complete neutralization of the witness.”“No!” snarled Katie. “No neutralizing anything!”Keith panicked. “Why is your Alexa trying to neutralize me?!”“I am not Alexa,” said CHIP.“Listen, Keith!” Katie pleaded. “You need to get out of here before--”Steel shutters lowered over the windows and external doors, trapping them inside the house.“No!” she cried. “CHIP, override the shutter sequence!” She groaned and stumbled into the wall, clearly in pain, but she pulled away from Keith when he instinctively reached for her. “Passcode ‘Palladium’!”“Request denied,” said CHIP. “Shutters must remain closed when transformation is imminent. Please make your way into the basement.”“I should’ve just gotten Alexa,” grumbled Katie, and she fell to the floor with more groans and grunts.Keith rushed to her side. Her green eyes -- had they always been green? -- shut tight in agony. She bit her lip, her sharp canine -- had it always been that sharp? -- nearly puncturing the skin.“Seriously,” he said, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I want to help! Do you need me to call nine-one-one?”“You want to help me?” she growled.“Yes!”She clambered over to the steel door and looked back at him. All the anger and fear in her face had vanished, replaced with something resembling desperation.“Then please forgive me,” she begged.She pulled the door shut.Keith stood there, stunned. He listened to the door’s bolts click into place, wondering why Katie would lock herself away in a reinforced basement with a bunch of chickens and the animal incarnation of Lucifer. It was a weird place for a petting zoo.“Initiating 'Test Soundtrack Number Four',” said CHIP. “Good night to you, Katie, and good morning to you, Pidge!”Punk music began to play through the house’s speakers. Loud, but not loud enough to bother the neighbors. Keith recognized the band from one of the CDs that Katie had given to Gwen. A flicker in his peripheral vision drew him to the other room, where multiple computer monitors now displayed a series of complicated graphs. The desk before them was covered in handwritten notes, old coffee mugs, and small models of Gundams. One of the monitors showed a live feed from cameras situated along the ceiling in the basement.Keith leaned in to watch.He saw the chickens running around, terrified; the goat pacing anxiously in its cage; and, approaching from the stairs, hulking and monstrous, what was once Katie, was now--His eyes widened.“What the fuck?”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Perhaps, in another universe, Keith liked wolves. Perhaps, in that same universe, he had even befriended a wolf. A space wolf, because space anything made that thing better, and that space wolf had helped him defeat an evil, alien empire. Oh, and in that same universe, perhaps Keith was also a red-cladded space warrior who flew a giant robot lion around because giant robot things were just as cool as space things.But that universe wasn’t this universe. In this universe, the closest thing that Keith got to such a lifestyle was dressing up as the Red Mighty Morphin’ Power Ranger for Halloween when he was four. Which didn’t include a giant robot, because duh, and wasn’t nearly as rewarding as being an actual red-cladded space warrior, because, at the time, he lived on a block full of dentists who thought candy was the Devil’s appetizer.Also, in this universe, he was terrified of wolves.The exact moment when he developed lupophobia was twenty-five years ago, back when he was a young boy living with his father in northeastern Nevada. He remembered sitting there beside Tex in his truck that day, reading through a rented copy of R.A. Salvatore’s Siege of Darkness. They were heading north on Mountain City Highway, which connected Elko to Owyhee by Idaho's border, with a plan to visit some of Tex’s friends near the turnoff to Tuscarora. Like always, Kaltenecker had accompanied them on their journey, her snout protruding from one of the holes in her trailer so her lazy eyes could settle on the vast mountain ranges in the distance.“I should’ve been a cowboy,” Tex sang, loud and proud, in sync with the Toby Keith song playing through the radio. He poked Keith in the side in his usual attempt to get his son to sing along with him, which never worked, but he still tossed the boy a goofy grin. “I should’ve learned to rope and ride. Wearin’ my six-shooter, ridin’ my pony on a cattle drive…”After following a dirt road off the highway, through a fence gate, and around some knolls, they parked close to a small herd of cows grazing by a stream. Two cowboys watched the herd from horseback, one of whom -- Bethany -- approached Tex as he stepped out of his truck. She was dressed in a collared shirt, jeans, and a wide-brim hat, with her red hair tied into a braid that rested over her shoulder. Her smile had a loving touch that made Keith wonder if his mother, wherever she was, smiled the same way.“Howdy, Tex!” she said. “I’m glad you could make it out. It’s been a while since we’ve seen you. And Keith, look at you! You’re growing like cheatgrass. You’re gonna be taller than your dad someday.”“Tall folks make for good astronauts,” said Tex, pleased.Bethany whistled, impressed. “An astronaut, huh? Is that what you wanna be when you grow up, Keith?”Keith grinned. “Or a drow ranger!”“A what now?”Tex leaned in to whisper to Bethany: “It’s one of those things from Dungeons and Dung Beetles.”“Dungeons and Dragons,” corrected Keith with a pout.“That’s what I said.” Tex looked back at Bethany. “Rangers have something to do with animals, I think.”Bethany laughed. “Maybe you’d make a good rancher then!” She patted her horse on his neck. “You need to be good with animals when it comes to steering stubborn, old mules like Rosco here. Or herding cows, which can be a lot like herding cats.”“Speaking of cows,” said Tex, “why don’t you get Kalt out for some exercise, son?”As Keith ran toward the back of the truck and got to work on opening Kaltenecker’s trailer, Tex and Bethany talked about their lives and all that had happened since they last spoke. Most of it was boring adult stuff that Keith didn’t really understand. Much to his dismay, though, the conversation soon shifted to a topic that he had hoped everyone had forgotten about.“You hear about those cows in Crescent Valley that got eaten up a few weeks ago?” asked Bethany.“Yeah,” said Tex. “Gavin thinks a wolf did it.”“A wolf? Really?”“Yep. He said it must’ve come down from Plaht.”Bethany snorted. “Gavin thinks everything came from Plaht. He got scammed into overpaying for a new truck there once, and he’s never let it go.”“Still, it couldn’t have been a wolf that ate those cows. Especially not one from Plaht. There ain’t any more wolves in Oregon than there are in Nevada. Folks killed them all back in the day.”“I wouldn’t count them all out,” said Bethany with a shrug. “Maybe a few of them have just gotten really good at hiding.”“How’s that?” asked Tex.“I don’t know. Sneaky things, wolves are. Maybe they’re dressing up like sweet, little grandmas to fool us.”He chuckled. “You better keep a close eye on your cattle, then. Unless you want them gobbled up by a vicious pack of ‘sweet, little grandmas’.”Bethany rolled her eyes. “Don’t jinx me. Domino wandered off earlier, and Henry over there” -- she gestured toward the other cowboy, her husband -- “is still looking for her.”Despite his agitation, Keith finally managed to get the trailer’s ramp deployed. When he opened the doors, however, Kaltenecker didn’t move. She stayed in the shadows, hesitant to leave. Keith tried to coax her forward, but she wouldn’t listen, so he returned to his father’s side.“Kalt doesn’t wanna come out,” he said.Tex hummed in thought. “Can’t say I blame her. It’s a bit warm today. I’d wanna stay in the shade, too.”“You’re free to stick with us, Keith,” said Bethany. “We could use a ranger to help us catch that wolf that’s running around!”Keith shifted in place, agitated again. “Actually, can I go look for arrowheads?”“Sure,” murmured Tex. “Just don’t go far -- and watch out for rattlers.”“I will!”Keith took off down the dirt road.“And if you see Domino,” Bethany called out to him, “shoo her back here!”He waved in acknowledgement and disappeared around a hill, far away from any conversations about cows, wolves, and wolves dressing up as cows.From there, he hiked among a sea of dirt and sagebrush, enjoying the freedom and peace that nature offered. He scoured the ground, searching for the familiar sheen of chert, amused by all the Mormon crickets that hopped around frantically at his approach like tiny people fleeing from Godzilla. It didn’t take long for him to find scatters of stone flakes, knapped by humans thousands of years ago, and the occasional arrowhead hidden among them. He examined every arrowhead, tracing his fingers across the scars that shaped them. None of them were complete. Some had a missing tip or a missing tang, and some of them had been snapped in half by either the maker or an animal’s hide. He admired how beautiful and sharp they still were, even when broken.He stopped in place when he spotted a cow ahead, laying still on the ground.“Domino?” he said. “Is that you?” He moved closer. “What’re you sleeping out here for, girl?”Something growled, and a massive shape rose up from behind the cow’s body. Keith froze.It was a wolf, with gray fur, green eyes, and a snout soaked in blood. It turned to glare at him, fangs bared.Keith yelped and fell back. He scooted away as fast as he could, gasping as he did.The wolf stepped toward him.It roared.And Keith screamed.Which was the main reason why, twenty-five years later, Keith would be sitting on the floor of Katie’s kitchen the morning after he had followed her home -- sleep-deprived, muttering to himself like a madman, and pointing a chef’s knife directly at the basement door.Upon witnessing the thing that Katie had turned into, he had fallen into shock, to say the least. Too much shock to call the cops. Too much shock to try clawing his way through the shutters. Too much shock to even consider asking CHIP for help, not that it would have responded to any of his inquiries. All he had done was grab the nearest weapon he could find, brace himself for the inevitable moment when that thing would come charging through the basement door to eat his face, and sit there, wide awake through the whole night, as he faintly wondered if he should have obliged Alistair’s request to convert to Scientology when they were dating so he would’ve had some sort of religion to cling to during his untimely demise.The sun now peeked in through the grating in the shutters, an old friend that Keith thought he would never see again. It stirred the chicken that had escaped its cage earlier, the sole survivor of its flock, that, at some point in the past eight hours, had decided to roost on top of Keith’s head.“The sun has risen,” said CHIP, the sudden intrusion of its voice nearly sending Keith through the roof. It finally stopped the punk music that had been playing all night, and the shutters slid open. “Good night to you, Pidge, and good morning to you, Katie!”The basement door unlocked.Keith, trying not to hyperventilate, raised the knife again.Something pushed the door ajar, just enough for an arm -- a very human arm -- to reach out and blindly grab the blanket and glasses that had been left on the countertop. After a moment of shuffling, the door swayed open completely.Katie stepped out, that blanket draped over her otherwise nude form. She ran her hand down her face, as if she was hungover, and Keith couldn’t help but notice the goat and chicken blood that still coated her chin.His eye twitched.With a sigh, she donned her glasses and met his gaze.“I…have a lot of explaining to do, don’t I?”
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
After Keith shooed the chicken off his head and Katie washed her face, they both moved to the dining room table to talk. Sitting across from one another, she sunk a bit beneath his stare. He still had that knife pointed in her direction, while his other hand continuously tapped a single finger against the table’s wood in a vain attempt to ground himself. The sound was deafening, given the initial silence between them, but it helped hide the fact that Keith was seconds away from a nervous breakdown.
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
“I’m sorry that you had to meet Pidge like that,” said Katie. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, for anyone to find out, and--”“Hold on,” said Keith, raising a brow. “‘Pidge’?”“Yeah. That’s her name. Well, it was my name when I was a kid. A nickname, I mean. I use it for her now because it helps remind me that she’s me and also not me. It’s a psychological thing, y’know?”“Can’t say I do.” Keith scowled. “But you couldn’t have used a more intimidating name? Like ‘Deathclaw’, or ‘Razorfang’, or -- I don’t know -- ‘Thunderstorm Darkness’?”Katie thought for a moment. “I kinda like that last one.”“It’s a Monsters and Mana character I used to play back in college, but that’s beside the point.” Keith tightened his grip around the knife. “How the hell did ‘Pidge’ come to be? What is she?”“Do you want the short answer, or the long answer? I don’t think the short answer is gonna work, but--”“I want an answer.”“Alright. We’ll try the short answer.”With that, Katie sat up straight, looked Keith right in the eyes, and spoke firmly:“I’m a werewolf.”Keith’s finger stilled.His eye twitched again.“Werewolves don’t exist,” he said.“I thought that, too. Once upon a time.” Katie frowned, sensing his skepticism. “I told you the short answer wasn’t gonna work.”“Then give me the long one.”“Sure, but can you put the knife down first?”“No,” said Keith, “I don’t think I will. How do I know you won’t become that thing again?”Katie shook her head. “Her name is Pidge. Also, it doesn’t work that way. It’s only during a full moon, and it only lasts for the night.”“And I’m supposed to believe that? You haven’t exactly been truthful about these things.”She grimaced, ashamed. “Fair enough.”“How long has Pidge been around?” asked Keith. “Could you always” -- he felt weird, disgusted even, to say it -- “turn into her?”“No. Not always. And I’ll tell you why if you put the knife down.”“Not gonna happen.”Katie shrugged. “Worth a shot. Like I told you yesterday, when I was a kid, I got into a lot of trouble, and my parents would argue about it. The yelling would scare me, on top of everything else that was going on. My brother, Matt, tried to support me as best as he could.“One day, he decided that we should take a road trip together. Just him and I. Something to get me away from it all. I was really into cryptozoology at the time. You know, like Bigfoot and stuff. So we took off in search of cryptids all over America. The Mogollon Monster, right there in Arizona. We never found it. West Virginia for the Mothman. We never found it. The Jersey Devil in New Jersey. We never found that one, either, or the Pope Lick Monster in Kentucky. I knew even then that a lot of cryptids were just a bunch of scary campfire stories, but I didn’t care. I was with my most favorite person in the world, and I was the happiest I had felt in a long time. I never wanted it to end.”She hesitated, eyes a little wet, and she cleared her throat to help compose herself. Then she continued:“Our last stop was Wisconsin, for the Beast of Bray Road. Also known as the Wisconsin Werewolf. We stayed in Elkhorn and went out into the forest during the night of a full moon to see if we could spot it. In hindsight, that wasn’t the smartest idea, but we were a couple of dumb teenagers on a mission. We didn’t see anything at first, so we went to leave -- but then something attacked us. We managed to get away from it, but…”She lowered the blanket around her left shoulder. It revealed a large scar from a wound so gruesome that Keith was surprised she hadn’t lost her arm when it happened.“But not before it bit me,” she said, and she raised the blanket back over her shoulder. “I was rushed to the hospital after that. The doctors there didn’t believe my story about the Beast, and they didn’t see anything weird in my blood tests, so they just chalked it up to a wild animal attack, gave me some stitches and a few shots, and called my parents to come get me.“After I got home, it didn’t take long for me to figure out that I was now transforming into a wolf with every full moon. Thankfully, Pidge never got around to hurting anyone back then, and I managed to keep it a secret from the world, including from my family. Over time, I designed the system I have for her now, like CHIP.”“And feeding her farm animals,” muttered Keith.Katie made a face. “Yeah. I try to tell myself it’s just nature. A ‘Circle of Life’ type of thing. I still feel bad about it, though.”Keith’s eye twitched once more. “Last night, I watched you -- Pidge -- rip a goat in half with your bare claws, and, as it stared into the eyes of God, you sucked its intestines out like they were spaghetti.” Katie opened her mouth, faltered, and closed it. “In Pidge’s defense,” she then said, “how else are you supposed to eat goat intestines?”“You can’t just buy a bag of dog kibble?”She scowled. “Wolves don’t eat dog kibble. Besides, she needs to hunt, not just eat. It’s hard for her to do that when I have to trap her in a basement so she doesn’t hurt people. Live animals to pounce on is the best compromise I can make. If I don’t do it, if I don’t give her a chance to follow her instincts, I get sick the morning after, and I stay sick for a while.”“Then that night at Sal’s, when you ran off, it was because--”“It was a full moon that night, which I had admittedly forgotten about.”Keith glared. “You forgot?” “And that’s why I got sick afterward -- I’d forgotten to get animals! Look, I always plan ahead. That’s what I do, and that’s what I’ve always done, especially for Pidge. Alarms. Reminders from CHIP. Hell, I have color-coded Excel sheets to keep track of all the errands I need to run for her. I have never failed to ensure that she has what she needs. But, last month, when I ran off like that, it was because I had never done something as simple as miscalculating the day of the full moon. Never. I was…distracted.”“By what?”“You.”Keith frowned. “Me?”Katie avoided his eyes, sheepish. “I meant it, when I said that I really liked you.”In any other situation, Keith would’ve been flattered. Ecstatic, even, that Katie really felt the same way about him as he did for her. But all he could think about was that thing he saw last night. That thing that resembled his worst fear. That thing that could easily throw him around like a ragdoll. That thing that had mauled a goat so brutally that he had actually felt bad for it. That thing that was now hiding inside of the woman in front of him, ready to come out and strike again when the time was right.So, for his own sanity, he chose not to dwell on what Katie said and instead asked: “What’s with all the Green Day?”“They’re my favorite band. Remember when I said I was doing research with dementia patients to see if music can help restore memory and cognitive function? When I turn into Pidge, it’s like blacking out. I lose all control. When she takes over, I don’t remember anything she did the morning after. All the computer equipment you saw in the other room is meant to study her while she’s active. I’ve been trying to find a cure for my lycanthropy for years, and I think that triggering my memories when I’m her is the first step. I have her listen to music I like because, in theory, it’ll help me remember and give back control. But, so far, I haven’t had much luck. She hasn’t even responded to any of the songs from Dookie -- which, mind you, is one of the greatest albums to ever grace this planet.”“Tragic,” deadpanned Keith.Katie sighed. “I told you that night at Sal’s that being honest about who you are would make you a better person, and you’ve since opened up to me about a side of yourself that you’re not proud of. It’s time I do the same. This isn’t something I’ve shared with anyone else before, but it’s a part of who I am.”She watched Keith, waiting for his reaction. There was hope in her eyes. There was also fear, exacerbated by his silence.“Keith,” she whispered. “Please. Say something.” Keith stood up.“I need to go.”Her face fell. “What?”He placed the knife down on the table and headed for the front door.Katie scrambled out of her chair to follow him. “Keith! Wait! You’re not gonna tell anyone about this, are you?”“Who would believe me?” he spat, scowling when he almost tripped over that chicken in the hallway.Katie used the opportunity to pass him and block the front door with her body. “Keith, I’m serious! You can’t tell anyone!”“Get out of my way!”“If the wrong people were to find out about Pidge, I’d end up in a lab. I’m supposed to be the scientist, Keith! The dissector. Not the dissected!”“Should I close the shutters again to halt his escape?” asked CHIP. “I will remind you that the most efficient means of solving this problem is still complete neutralization of the witness.”“Fuck off, Alexa!” snarled Keith.Thankfully, Katie seemed hesitant toward any idea of trapping or neutralizing him. It was good to confirm that she had, indeed, regained her humanity with the sunrise. She also wasn’t physically a hulking wolf anymore, so it was possible for him to push past her and walk out the door.She didn’t follow him this time.“If you never want to see me again,” she called from the threshold instead, “I understand! I won’t hold it against you. But please, Keith, don’t tell anyone about Pidge!”At that, Keith whirled around. Angry. Scared. Tired. Even more heartbroken than before. He stomped up to her. “Why the hell would you go out with anyone and make them remotely think that there could be something special between the both of you, when you’re that monster?” She stared at him, devastated, and she responded meekly: “I just…I just thought that I deserved to be happy, too.”He hesitated, feeling vaguely like a hypocrite. But, as he stood there, wanting to hold her, all he could see were large claws, sharp fangs, green eyes, and a young boy screaming for his father.“I won’t say anything,” he muttered. “But stay away from me and Gwen.”Then, without looking back, he headed down the porch steps, got in his car, and drove away.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Wolf. She’s a wolf. Not just any wolf. A werewolf. Not a whatwolf. Or a whowolf. Or a whenwolf. Couldn’t even be a whywolf. Nope. Had to be a goddamn werewolf.” Keith, still in shock, sleep-deprived, and muttering to himself like a madman, somehow managed to drive through Plaht without running anything over. It helped that, given the early Saturday morning, the streets were mostly empty, and the unlucky few who did have to evade his swerving simply blamed his delusional state on drugs, alcohol, or 5G towers. Despite being a zombie at the wheel, he arrived at Lance and Hunk’s house in one piece, where he then lumbered out of his car and toward the backyard.Hunk had been in the midst of cooking food on his flat top grill, with Felix babbling happily from a high chair beside him, when Keith threw the gate open. “Oh, Keith,” said Hunk, brows raised in surprise, “I didn’t know you were coming over today. Look, Felix, it’s your Uncle Keef! Just in time for break--”Keith walked past him.“--fast?”Hunk watched as Keith headed for the pool. He stopped at the edge of it, tipped forward, and fell into the water with a big splash.“Um,” said Hunk intelligently, and he called toward the house: “Hey, Lance? Keith’s trying to drown himself in the pool again.”“Like hell he is!” snarled Lance, appearing on the patio in his typical morning getup of a bathrobe, slippers, and a facial mask strong enough to remove the wrinkles off the Crypt Keeper. “Keith, get out of the pool! I just cleaned it!”Keith didn’t respond. He only floated around on his back, reminiscent of a corpse.“Is everything alright, man?” asked Hunk.“I didn’t sleep last night,” said Keith. “At all.”Lance stomped up to the pool, hands on his hips. “And why is that?”
I finally met someone special, and she’s a fucking werewolf.
“Bad sleep,” said Keith, recalling the vow of secrecy that he had reluctantly made to Katie. “Bad night. Bad everything.”Lance scoffed. “Here I thought it was because you were finally getting laid.”“Lance!” hissed Hunk as he covered Felix’s ears. “Don’t say that in front of our son!”“What’s the point of defending innocence?” said Keith in a monotone. “Is happiness itself not just a lie, a veil we place over our own eyes so we can fool ourselves into thinking that misery isn’t prowling just beyond the fabric, waiting to devour our souls? Are we nothing more than protagonists in some whump fanfiction, written for the enjoyment of sadistic beings from a higher plane of existence who read about our tragic lives to briefly escape their own endless cycles of suffering?”“Well now he’s just speaking nonsense,” grumbled Lance.“Keith,” said Hunk, worried, “I love you, but existential dread is not good for babies. I’m gonna have to ask that you climb out of the pool, dry off, come enjoy one of the banana nut muffins I baked yesterday -- don’t stare into the abyss like that, I know they’re your favorite -- and talk about this.”“Yeah!” said Lance. “Get out of the pool! You’re polluting it with your angst!”Keith ignored them, continuing to float around aimlessly. Lance growled, frustrated, and grabbed a leaf skimmer. He tried to fish Keith out of the water by catching the tip of his boot with the net. The effort was in vain, though, for all Lance did was stumble over his own feet, trip, and fall into the water himself.Hunk hurried to the edge of the pool.Lance, flailing and sputtering, took his husband’s hand. “Listen!” he said, ever the dramatic thespian. “You're going to get out of this, you're going to go on, and you're going to make babies and watch them grow, and you're going to die an old man, warm in his bed! Not here! Not like this! Do you understand me?”Hunk sighed. “Babe, get out of the pool.”Felix giggled, amused by all the chaos.Gwen, who had emerged from the house to observe the scene, rolled her eyes, slipped her headphones back over her ears, and returned inside.While the rest of Katie’s morning hadn’t been as tumultuous as Keith’s, it was no less depressing.After Keith had departed, Katie retreated back into her house, shut the door, and leaned her forehead against it. She closed her eyes and exhaled, long and slow, struggling to reel in her emotions. Half of her wanted to chase him. The other half wanted to soothe her broken heart by curling up with her favorite pair of sweatpants, three bottles of wine, and the latest season of Bridgerton.“Would it make you feel better if I neutralized him?” asked CHIP.“No,” she said, “but I appreciate the sentiment.”Thankfully, it wasn’t long before the pragmatic side of her brain kicked in. It reminded her that, despite everything, the world would keep spinning, the sun would rise tomorrow, that bills would need to be paid soon.And that, in one month, Pidge would return.Katie pulled away from the door.“CHIP,” she said, passing the chicken from earlier on her way to the bathroom, “play some music.”“Which one of your playlists would you like to hear?”“Something sad,” she mumbled, because, pragmatism aside, she still wanted to stew in some form of misery.“Very well. Initiating ‘POV: you’re not a big, bad wolf, just a lonely one -- an emo playlist’.”Thus, to the more confessional and emotionally fraught melodies of her punk catalog, Katie began her monthly routine of cleaning up after Pidge. She started by tossing her blanket into the dirty laundry basket, brushing her teeth, and taking a shower to wash the rest of the blood off her. From there, once properly dressed, she carried cleaning supplies into the basement. She threw out the cages that had previously contained the goat and the chickens, the metal now twisted and torn. After donning some rubber gloves, she picked up any animal remains that still lay scattered across the floor.She frowned, disgruntled, as she examined an entire goat leg that hadn’t even been nibbled on. “This stuff costs money, Pidge,” she muttered, casting the gory limb into a trash bag. “Don’t go wasting food.”She got on her knees with a bucket and a rag to scrub bloodstains on the floor. When that was done, she took a hose and cleaned the rest of the blood off the walls and the ceiling. The water circled down the drain in the middle of the room -- until it stopped doing so, and she had to take the drain’s cover off to investigate. She reached in, grimaced at the feeling of something squishy, and pulled out a giant, wet clump of wolf hair.“Gross,” she said, tossing it in the same bag with the goat’s leg.She finished hosing everything off. That chicken stood by the basement door, watching her while not doing anything to help, like any good supervisor. As she climbed the stairs back up to the kitchen, hauling cleaning supplies and bloody trash bags, she paused at the sight of a large gash in the door’s metal. It was a gash that hadn’t been there a month ago. Pidge, as vicious as always last night, had probably heard Keith shuffling around on the other side and had tried to get to him.Katie sighed.Upon reaching the kitchen, she noticed something small stuck between her teeth that she had missed while flossing. She scratched at it until it came loose, and she picked it out.A piece of goat fur.With a groan, she headed for the bathroom to brush her teeth a second time.Then she started maintenance on the house’s shutter system and on the consoles for the basement door. She also performed a quick software update for CHIP, because the desire to neutralize humans was a fairly new development and probably something she should nip in the bud. Once that was complete, it was time for a coffee break. She opened her cupboards, scowling at the realization that, in her usual disorganized state, a bulk of her mugs were not where they should’ve been. She managed to find one clean mug in the dish rack, though, and, as the coffee brewed, she searched for something to make for breakfast.Except she barely had any food. She had been so focused on taking care of Pidge that she had forgotten to get groceries for herself.“I tried to remind you,” said CHIP. “Were you distracted by attractive members of the opposite sex again?”Katie, contemplating another software update to fix some of CHIP’s sass, eventually found two slices of bread and half a stick of butter in the very back of the fridge. Just enough ingredients for toast.Plate and coffee in hand, she sat down at her desk, its surface covered in sticky notes and her excessive Gunpla collection. She pushed aside all the mugs that she had just spent twenty minutes looking for to log into her computer, where she updated Excel sheets, reviewed measurements, calculations, and video footage from last night, and continued her research on werewolf folklore from around the world in her usual vain attempts of finding a cure for her lycanthropy.With a heavy heart, she also looked up housing prices in places that were far, far away from Plaht.At one point, she reached for her coffee -- and yelped when that chicken popped up beside her like a cheap jumpscare. It stared at her, its gaze no less vacant than before. She stared back, uncertain what to do, until it started eyeing her plate.“Help yourself,” she grumbled, nudging the plate in its direction, and it pecked at her remaining toast.She stood to put her mug in the sink, and she felt a tickle in the back of her throat. It was persistent and annoying, something that had lingered on and off since she changed back from Pidge. She coughed, finally dislodging the cause.A chicken feather.She watched the feather float down to the floor. So did the chicken, who tilted its head at it. It then slowly looked up at her, horrified.She averted her eyes and awkwardly left to brush her teeth a third time.CHIP chimed with a reminder: “You have an appointment with Emma at Bluve Creek Memory Care in thirty minutes.”“Alright,” said Katie, emerging from the bathroom to pack her messenger bag and grab the vase of roses that she had plucked from her garden the day before. “CHIP, stop music.”“Done.”She snatched her keys off the counter and headed for the front door. That chicken followed her. She studied it for a moment, wondering what to do. Logic said to return the animal to Arusian Acres, or keep it around to feed to Pidge during the next full moon. For some reason, as that chicken stared blankly at her, none of those options felt right.She then figured that it’d be a problem for future Katie.“Don’t poop on anything,” she told the chicken. “Other than that, my house is your house.”She left, locked the door behind her, walked down the porch steps, and got in her car. As she dropped her things in the passenger seat, she spotted something on the floor.Keith's laptop.Bluve Creek Memory Care was the epitome of visiting Grandma’s house. It was a small institution when compared to similar facilities in Plaht, but what it lacked in size it made up for in heart. Like a scene from a fairytale, cobblestone steps led to a charming stream, where, upon crossing a small bridge, visitors entered a lobby adorned with paintings and crafts. The air always smelled of cookies, baked fresh by the staff every day for the residents and their guests. Katie grabbed one of the peanut butter cookies from the welcome table on her way to the front desk. The receptionist there -- an older man named Tony -- greeted her.“Morning, Katie,” he said.“Morning,” she replied, signing the visitor sheet.“Emma’s in her room. She’s excited to see you.”Katie looked at him in awe. “She remembered that I was coming today?”“Whatever you’re doing, it seems to be working. A little, at least.”“I’ll take whatever good news I can get!”She hurried down the hall, passing the facility’s other residents as they congregated in the common areas for breakfast, gossip, and games. She shared smiles and waves -- and some apologies whenever she accidentally bumped into a member of the staff during their morning bustle. She soon reached Emma’s room, a simple but homey space.Emma was eighty, having been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a while ago. The disease had heavily impacted her short-term memory. She frequently forgot where she was and the names and faces of people she had recently met. Over the months that Katie had spent visiting her, she often had to re-introduce herself, but Emma met her with a warm gaze each and every time.A nurse had just finished giving Emma her medicine when Katie walked in. Emma, seated on her bed, brightened at the sight of her.“Katie! I’ve missed you!”Katie couldn’t help but grin, hope blooming in her chest like a sprout after a wildfire. “I missed you, too!” She showed Emma the roses from her garden. “I got these for you.”“Oh, those are beautiful.”“I grew them because I knew you liked them.” Katie placed the vase on top of Emma’s dresser, next to the few family photos she had. “Which I don’t do for just anyone. Or can’t, for that matter. I don’t have much of a green thumb. I could kill a cactus.”“I must be something special, to be worth all that effort.”“You are,” Katie murmured.As the nurse left, Katie sat down on the bed beside Emma and reached into her messenger bag to pull out a pair of headphones and a notebook. Her study into the relationship between music and memory was meant to be casual and non-invasive for everyone involved. All her volunteers had to do was relax and listen to their favorite songs while she jotted down any changes in their cognition. Sometimes, those changes were immediate. Other times, they were a culmination of multiple sessions. Emma’s recollection of their appointment that morning was the first thing that Katie noted as a possible breakthrough for her, given that Emma had otherwise never remembered them.Up until then, Katie’s efforts with other dementia patients hadn’t been any more fruitful than her research at home. But she had still enjoyed spending time with them, hearing their stories and sharing in their company. Being a werewolf meant that it was hard to connect with other people. She had ostracized herself from society to make sure that Pidge couldn’t hurt anyone, constantly on the run in case someone got too close. The patients she met on a weekly basis were the closest things to friends she had. Emma, in particular, reminded her of her grandmother, who, when Katie was little and her mother would take her to Sicily to visit family, would walk with her along Sciacca’s shores so that they could watch the sun set beneath the Mediterranean together.She had felt safe with her grandmother. Matt had made her feel safe, too.So had Keith.“‘Landslide’ always finds a way to take me back,” said Emma, swaying to the melody of a band that she had adored in her youth. She slipped the headphones off her ears. “We should go see Fleetwood Mac the next time they’re in Plaht. I think you would really like them.”Katie frowned. “I would, but I’ll be leaving town soon.”“Oh no! Why’s that?” My job is making me, she could’ve said. Or family reasons would’ve been a good choice. Something short, sweet, and vague enough to not warrant any further questions. She could never be truly honest with anyone, not with Pidge hiding in the closet with the rest of her skeletons. Yet she longed for another human to acknowledge her existence and hardship, especially after last night, so she admitted: “I met this guy. He’s smart, kind, funny, a hard worker, likes a lot of the same nerdy stuff I do. He gets me, when very people have ever gotten me before. And he has a daughter who’s amazing and reminds me of me when I was younger. And no, neither of them are perfect. I mean, they don’t have to be. But…”“But?”“I turned into a giant wolf, ate a goat, and scared the guy off.”As expected, Emma chuckled at such an absurd notion.“He never wants to see me again,” muttered Katie, “and I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have, so it’s best if I go.”“That's the thing, though,” said Emma, still amused. “We all got wolves inside of us. You just have to make sure that you feed the right one -- and I know which one you feed, Katie. Because you brought me those roses, you took time out of your busy day to visit me, and,” she added, raising a finger, “as much as this man you mentioned isn’t perfect, you know that you aren’t, either, and you welcome that with love.”Katie looked at the floor, eyes wet. Her heart ached all over again, with both pain and want.“I can see it,” murmured Emma. “Your love for this man. You get this little sparkle in your eye when you think about him. Right there.” She pointed at it, gently poking Katie’s cheek in the process. It spurred laughter between them. Katie’s laugh was a weak one, but it was a laugh all the same, and she lifted her glasses to wipe away a few loose tears.“Regardless of whether you stay or go,” said Emma, “can you promise me something?”“Sure.”“Don’t stop loving. No matter how much this world tries to change you.” Emma took Katie’s hand in hers and patted it affectionately. “Because love, when fed well, is the fiercest wolf of them all.”Katie smiled.“I promise.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

As H.G. Wells once wrote, it is unavoidable that at this point the narrative should break off again, for a certain very painful reason that will presently be apparent. Being a geek meant that Keith was as familiar with Wells as he was with Salvatore -- yet he had never thought that his own life would resemble the types of extraordinary stories that were common among such writers. Sure, as a young boy, he had daydreamed about slaying dragons and rescuing maidens, but he knew that, when he put away his imaginary sword and his father tucked him into bed for the night, that the fantasy world was the fantasy world, and the real world was the real world, and that the monsters he read about in his books had no place among the latter.Until those monsters had decided otherwise.It all began with that wolf he had met that one fateful morning, twenty-five years ago. That wolf whose eyes had burned like emerald wildfire. That wolf whose gray fur had been so stained with blood and evil that it resembled a coal-skinned demon. That wolf who had given him his phobia, and who had taken everything in return.Keith remembered running, and he remembered that wolf chasing him. It was like a grisly bull, snarling and slobbering, kicking up dirt and sagebrush in its wake. When he raced around the hill, he spotted his father in the distance.“Dad!” he yelled.Tex turned -- and his eyes widened.“Holy shit!” said Bethany.As Keith ran into Tex’s arms, Bethany pulled out her handgun and fired at the wolf. It yelped and crashed into the ground. Both Keith and Tex watched its motionless body, for a moment believing that it was over.Then the wolf stood, seemingly indifferent to the gaping hole in its shoulder.“That’s no ordinary wolf,” said Tex.The wolf roared. Another bullet struck its side, fired by Henry from atop his own horse. Like before, the bullet didn’t do much to stop it, and it redirected its fury at the cowboys. A lunge at Henry caused his horse to rear, knocking him off, and Keith, perhaps riddled with so much fear that he had hallucinated certain things about the attack that couldn’t have possibly happened, would swear to this day that the wolf had stood on its hind legs like a bestial human when it slashed at the throat of Bethany’s horse.With Henry and Bethany immobilized, the wolf glared at Keith. It got back down on all fours and rushed toward him.Tex shoved Keith behind him.“Hide in the truck, Keith!”“But, Dad--”“Go!”Keith obeyed, heading for the truck as Tex distracted the wolf. Along the way, he called toward the trailer still hitched to the back: “Kalt! You gotta get out of here!”Kaltenecker poked her head out from the trailer, panicked at the sight of the wolf, and hurried down the ramp to escape with the other cows.Keith opened the truck’s driver side door and climbed inside. At the sounds of growls, gunfire, and yelling, he tucked his knees to his chest, closed his eyes, and covered his ears, trying to calm himself, trying to be quiet so that the wolf wouldn’t find him. Soon, everything went silent, until all he could hear was his own heavy breathing.Slowly, he looked out the window.The wolf stared back at him.Keith gasped.With a snarl, the wolf punched its claw through the window, spreading glass all over the interior. One of its nails caught Keith on the cheek, slicing the skin open. Keith scurried into the passenger seat, blood dripping from his chin, barely escaping the monster’s grasp. The whole truck shook as the wolf reached in for him, almost strong enough to tip it over.“Get away from my son!”Tex appeared, jumping onto the wolf’s back, a knife in one hand. He stabbed the blade into its neck. The wolf howled in agony, thrashing around. It threw Tex off, who landed on the ground a short distance away. As he picked himself up, the wolf turned to face him. Blood gushed from the new wound in its neck, the most gruesome of its injuries.Tex brandished his knife. It gleamed purple in the sunlight.Keith watched in horror as they both charged for one another.“Dad!”Keith opened his eyes.He was thirty-two again, sprawled out on Lance and Hunk’s guest bed. His younger self’s scream for his father was a ghostly echo in his ear. He groaned, groggy, and turned his head. On the nearby nightstand, past Kosmo and some of Gwen’s other things, an alarm clock read one in the afternoon. He looked back toward the ceiling, contemplating if everything with Pidge the previous evening had just been part of the same nightmare.But if he hadn’t seen Katie at Arusian Acres yesterday, he would’ve been waking up in his own bed in his own house on an otherwise dull Saturday, having simply dreamt the same bad memory from his childhood that he frequently dreamt about. He would not have been at Lance and Hunk’s house because his first instinct at the realization that werewolves were real was to make sure that his daughter was safe.He could’ve kept sleeping. He had only gotten a few hours since throwing himself in the pool outside in some vain attempt to restore the sanity that he had presumably lost in the past twenty-four hours. He needed to check on Gwen, though, and make sure that Lance hadn’t drowned in his stead. Sitting up, he remembered that Hunk had given him some new clothes to wear while his regular ones dried. It was just a plain t-shirt and some lounge pants, both of which had come from Lance since he and Keith were relatively the same size.Keith got out of bed and made his way into the bathroom to brush his teeth and tie his loose hair back into its usual ponytail. While there, he took a moment to stare at himself in the mirror. Gently, he traced the scar on his face where that wolf had struck him so long ago. It was barely visible nowadays, having faded with age, but it was still there all the same.He sighed.Afterward, he headed for the kitchen, following the sound of voices. Lance and Gwen were seated at the table there, with Gwen feeding Felix with a bottle, while Hunk scurried around in a post-lunch cleaning spree.“Look who decided to join the land of the living!” said Lance when Keith walked in.“Yeah,” said Keith. “Thanks for letting me sleep here a bit.”“No problem. I gotta say, though…” Lance eyed Keith up and down, grinning slyly. “Ho-ly crow. If I was single, I’d openly admit that I’d like to see you in my clothes more often. But, alas” -- he gestured lovingly at Hunk -- “I’m married to the most gorgeous man on this planet. No offense, Keith.”Keith sat down beside Gwen. “None taken. Hunk is, well, a hunk.”Hunk giggled, bashful. “Oh, you guys.” He placed a freshly-made sandwich in front of Keith, along with a banana nut muffin for dessert, and he gave him an affectionate peck on the top of his head. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Keithy.”“Thanks, Big Guy.” Keith took a bite of the sandwich. “This is delicious! New recipe?”Hunk nodded. “It’s like a Philly cheesesteak, but with goat meat!”Keith’s eye twitched. A permanent tick, at this point. He swallowed reluctantly, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. Thankfully, Gwen distracted him from any thoughts about Pidge.“What are you doing here, Dad?” she asked. “I thought you were gonna spend the weekend at our house.”“That was the original plan. As you probably heard earlier, though, I didn’t have the best night, and I just wanted to see you, I guess.”Gwen raised her eyebrows in surprise. It wasn’t entirely the truth -- but, usually, Keith wouldn't have given her such a vulnerable reply. He didn’t want to admit that Katie’s advice still rang true.Something joined the disgust in his stomach. Something he could only describe as longing.
Why did Katie have to be a werewolf?
“Oh,” said Gwen, hesitant. “Um. Okay. I’m glad you’re here?”Keith managed a smile.“Yeah,” said Lance, dragging out the word. “About that. You’ve been weird all month, dude. Even more so than usual. I know life’s been kicking you in the gonads a lot lately, but what happened this morning scared the crap out of us--”“It seemed pretty normal to me,” Gwen muttered.“Scared the crap out of most of us,” corrected Lance, rolling his eyes. “So, I may have kinda, sorta put up the Bat-Signal.”Keith frowned. “The Bat-Signal? For who?”As if on cue, Keith’s phone vibrated with a text message. He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the screen.
Shiro:
Hey, bro! When you’re up, can you give me a call?“Lance told me that you haven’t been doing great,” said Shiro.Keith sat on the patio, his phone to his ear, watching (with guilt) as Lance cleaned the pool. He had offered to assist him, but Lance had demanded that he sit down, look pretty, and call his brother. It’s not that Keith didn’t want to talk to Shiro. He loved talking to Shiro -- they texted one another every day! Just not about the disaster movie that was Keith’s life.“I’ve been struggling a bit,” Keith admitted.“Just a bit?” said Shiro, skeptical.“A lot. Work’s been busy, Gwen’s been dealing with some stuff like she always has, and you know that I haven’t had much luck in the dating business. I can’t find anyone who’d accept me and Gwen for who we are.”
Except for…

Wait, no, stop thinking about Katie!
“These things take time, Keith,” said Shiro. “It’s okay to feel sad and disappointed about it. I’m worried that you’re pushing yourself too much, though.”Seriously. Keith did not want to have this conversation. Was it too late for him to throw himself in the pool again?Yeah, probably. Lance had a good heart. He didn’t deserve that.(Maybe Keith would just throw himself in the neighbor's pool instead.)“There’s not much I can do about it,” he murmured. “I feel like I’ve been running nonstop since Acxa died, with no idea of where to go or how to get there.”Shiro hummed in thought. “Maybe you should take some time off work to figure things out?”“I can’t. I need to make money so I can take care of Gwen.”“Sure, but who takes care of you?”Keith was silent, uncertain how to answer.“You try so hard to be the strong one,” Shiro continued. “You bear the weight of the universe on your shoulders, and all the blame when something goes wrong, but you’re only setting yourself up to crash and burn. You know what they say when you’re on an airplane and there’s an emergency? ‘Put your mask on first before helping others.’ You can’t help Gwen or anyone else if you don’t know how to help yourself.”“Going straight for the jugular, bro,” muttered Keith. “You’re right. I don’t know how to help myself. Any advice?”
Other than something that Katie had suggested, so that I can finally stop thinking about her.
“I mean it when I say that you should really try therapy,” said Shiro. “It helped me a lot when I struggled with the loss of my arm.”“I’ll look into it.”It was the same answer that Keith always gave at such suggestions. Shiro didn’t say anything more on the matter. He knew that Keith’s response was the best that he was going to get, given Keith’s issues with opening up to others. Which happened to include therapists.“Do you need me to come visit?” Shiro asked.Keith smiled. “I would love to see you. But not for something like this. Let me get things settled first.”“Alright. But Keith?”“Yeah?”“I had no idea that you’d been running yourself so ragged lately. Lance had to tell me. Please talk to me more. You don’t need to hide these things. Not with me. No one should have to deal with this stuff alone.”Keith faltered. It was true -- he hadn’t spoken with Shiro about himself in a while. Not honestly. Not like he used to. Not like he had with Acxa, or…Shit, he was thinking about Katie again.He nodded. “Okay.”“Thank you,” said Shiro. “I love you.”“I love you, too. Do you want to talk to Gwen?”“Sure.”Keith turned in his seat to look through the window and into the kitchen, where Gwen chatted with Hunk while wiping down the table. Keith waved to get her attention, and he gestured at his phone. When she came outside, he handed it to her.“Hey, Shiro,” she spoke into it, with a gentle tone that she rarely used with anyone else, and she vanished back into the house.Once phone calls were concluded and clothes had finished drying, Keith and Gwen packed up to head back to their own house. Keith justified it as simply wanting to spend the weekend with his daughter. Lance and Hunk didn’t mind the change in plans. Neither did Gwen, though she certainly had questions about her father’s motivations. Questions that she didn’t speak but were no less clear in how she continuously glanced at him during the drive home. Questions that would ultimately go unanswered, for Keith said nothing despite her inquiring eyes. He only focused on the road ahead, his mind lost in memories, nightmares, and the thin line that separated them.When they arrived at the house and got out of the car, Keith gathered bags from the trunk while Gwen went to unlock the front door.“Hey, Dad?” she said. “Did you order something?”“No, why?”As Keith approached the porch, Gwen revealed a package that had been left by the door.Raising a brow, Keith took the package and examined it. It was heavy. The lack of addresses on the front indicated that it had been dropped off by hand rather than mailed. He cautiously opened it and pulled out its contents.His face fell at the sight of his work laptop.Included with it was a hastily-written note in a familiar penmanship:
You forgot this. Sorry about all the trouble.

-- Katie
Keith stared at the note, heartbroken all over again. Despite everything he had said to her, Katie had still put in the effort to help him where she could. She was someone who had accepted the dark side of him, who battled a dark side of her own, and all he had done was run away.That longing returned, a painful ache in his chest.
God, why the hell did she have to be a werewolf?
“Who’s it from?” asked Gwen.“Katie,” Keith muttered before he could stop himself.Gwen perked up, a small smile on her face. “You’re still talking to her?”“Not anymore.”Gwen deflated. “Oh. I liked her.”Keith chuckled ruefully. “Really? You usually don’t like anyone that I try to…you know.”“Because they’re all weirdos. But Katie was okay.” Gwen crossed her arms, adding quietly: “Was it my fault?”“What do you mean?”Gwen looked at Keith, her eyes starting to glisten. “Did I scare her away? I know I’m a lot. I’m not trying to be -- and I didn’t mean to scare her away!”Keith practically dropped everything in his rush to embrace her.“No, no!” he said. “It wasn’t you, Gwen.”Gwen didn’t return the hug. He hadn’t expected her to. But she still relaxed a bit beneath his touch, as he stroked her back and kissed her hair.“Then what was it?” she asked.Keith pulled away from her, his hands still on her shoulders. “Katie just has some issues that she has to figure out first before she can get involved with anyone.”“And we don’t?”Keith opened his mouth, but he couldn’t think of how to respond. He recalled Shiro’s words.“You’re right. That’s why we need to take a step back and sort our stuff out, too. It’s like when there’s an emergency on an airplane, and they tell you to put on your mask before helping others.”Gwen gave him a look. “We’re not on an airplane. And even if we were, why can’t we help each other put on our masks? Why does it gotta be one before the other?”In that moment, Gwen reminded Keith so much of Acxa, strong and firm and defiant in ways that could rattle the stars. It shattered him that he couldn’t be honest with her no more than he could with Shiro. Perhaps that was a merciful thing, though. It was better to let Gwen remember Katie for Katie, and not for Pidge.“Hey,” he murmured, cupping Gwen’s cheek, “how about we get unpacked and head out for a bit? We’ll go see a movie and then hit the grocery store for stuff to cook dinner together. Just you and me, okay?”Gwen studied him, suspicious about the change in topic. But she was just as familiar with her father’s habits as everyone else, definitely since she had (unfortunately) inherited a few of them.So, she agreed to his proposal with a shrug.“Okay.”“Let’s see,” said Keith, checking the recipe on his phone. “All that’s left is Dijon mustard.”After the movie, he and Gwen had made their way to Slav-Mart for groceries. They had decided to make beef stroganoff that night, which, while not a difficult dish, required some ingredients that weren’t the easiest to shop for on a weekend. Especially not at a place like Slav-Mart with its sales that frequently changed on the spot. Said ingredients included sour cream, where Keith had nearly been mauled trying to get it by a horde of rabid housewives raiding the dairy aisle for good deals, and ribeye, where, because of the store owner's well-timed proclamation that everything in the meat section was half off, Keith had nearly been run over by a stampede of rabid househusbands eager to test their new grills. He managed to survive the ordeal, though, coming out with not only the sour cream and the ribeye but also an extra dose of trauma.“Attention, all shoppers!” the store owner then said through the intercom. “There is now a sale on carrots in the produce section. Also, to whoever keeps removing the ‘L’ from the word ‘Pool’ in the ‘Pool Supplies’ aisle sign, I would like to inform you that there are 425,678 different realities where I find you and kick you in the shin!”Keith and Gwen shared a confused look over the announcement, only to shrug and return to their shopping. The owner of Slav-Mart had always been a peculiar one.“Dijon mustard,” Keith repeated as he and Gwen searched the condiments aisle. “Dijon mustard, Dijon mustard, Dijon mustard…”With his eyes focused on the shelves, he wasn’t paying attention to the direction of his cart -- and, as expected, he bumped into someone.“Oh crap,” he said, quickly adjusting his cart. “My bad. Sorry about that--”He froze in place, eyes wide, because the someone he had bumped into was none other than Katie.“Shit!” he hissed.“Shit!” Katie replied, just as horrified.(“Shit!” said the person in the next aisle over, clearly feeling left out.)Meanwhile, Gwen smiled and ran up to Katie. “Hi, Katie!”Katie fumbled a little, flustered. “Oh, uh. Hi, Gwen! How’re you?”“I’m okay. You?”“I’m fine. Just doing some grocery shopping.”Keith could tell that Katie was trying to pull away. Not because she wanted to, but because she had to. Gwen, not noticing her subtle attempts at leaving, only stepped closer whenever she stepped back.“Dad,” said Gwen, turning to Keith, “can Katie come over for dinner tonight?”Keith hesitated, trying not to panic. Or give off the impression that he was trying not to panic. “Um. I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, she might be busy, you know? Or…”His words trailed off. Gwen was staring at him. She had this yearning look in her eyes -- not a puppy dog look, as she wasn’t one for such tactics -- but a look that he hadn’t seen since before her mother died. He felt his resolve ebb away, like a current carrying some poor, unfortunate soul out to sea.“He’s right,” said Katie, contributing to what he’d been trying to say. “I’d love to, but I got all this housework I need to do, and…”She trailed off, too, because Gwen had turned to give her the exact same look. Apparently, she was just as weak to it as Keith was.“Please?” murmured Gwen.Katie locked eyes with Keith.They looked away from one another.There wouldn’t be a full moon that night, and it’d only be a one-time thing. It’d make Gwen happy, and maybe she’d find some closure in it. Out of all the sacrifices that parents were expected to make for their kids, Keith reckoned that this one would be more on the mild side.“Okay,” he said.Gwen grinned. An honest, genuine grin. “Our house at seven!” she told Katie, and then she ran off toward the checkout lines. “C’mon, Dad! We gotta head back now if dinner’s gonna be ready in time!”Keith avoided Katie’s eyes as he went to pass her. She didn’t dare turn her head to look at him, so, for a moment, his face wasn’t far from her ear. He could smell her scent, some kind of foresty fragrance that reminded him of the nature he loved, and he didn’t know what hurt more -- to be this close to Katie, or to be this close to Pidge. “You know where we live,” he muttered to her.He made his way after Gwen.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Following the ring of a bell, Keith opened the front door.Katie stood on the porch, dressed casually in jeans, boots, a plaid flannel shirt, and her signature glasses. Behind her, the neighborhood was a dark and quiet realm. Crickets chirped. Streetlights flickered. The moon was high in the sky, bright and haunting.(But, thankfully, not full.)“Hey,” he muttered.“Hey,” she muttered back, just as curt as he was. She showed the bottle in her hand. “I brought wine.”“Good.” He stepped aside so she could walk in. He closed the door behind her and, without so much as a glance in her direction, he headed down the hallway. “We’re gonna need it.”The house smelled of cream, herbs, and steak. Keith and Katie passed the dining room. The table there had been elegantly prepared in a way that was almost alien to him. He couldn’t remember the last time that he and Gwen had dined together in such a familial setting. Probably not since before Acxa had died.“Whoa,” said Katie, pausing to admire the scene.“Yeah,” said Keith, realizing that it’d probably been a while since she had seen anything like it, too. “You can thank Gwen for all that.”When they reached the kitchen, Gwen, who had been stirring sauce on the stove, turned to greet Katie. She wore a purple and black dress, a rare break in her tomboyish routine that was reminiscent of her mother’s style.“Hi, Gwen!” said Katie with a big smile, as if there wasn’t a hidden war simmering between her and Keith. “That’s a gorgeous dress!”Gwen grinned. “Thanks!” She wiggled the silver chain around her neck. “It matches my necklace!”Curious, Katie slid her fingers beneath the necklace’s pendant to examine it. It was an animal charm with alluring, amethyst eyes. A familiar animal, at that.“It’s a wolf,” she murmured.“Yeah,” said Gwen. “They’re my favorite animal. In case you couldn’t tell with Kosmo.”Katie smiled again. A weaker smile, amused by the irony.Suddenly, she pulled her hand away.“What’s wrong?” asked Gwen.Katie shook her hand out. “It’s nothing. I’m just a little allergic to silver.”“Hey, Gwen,” said Keith, tending to the egg noodles boiling on the stove, “can you go pick some parsley to garnish the stroganoff with?”“Sure thing.”Flipping on the patio light, Gwen headed out the back door and toward the garden in the yard. Keith narrowed his eyes at Katie.And their armistice promptly ended.“Allergic to silver, huh?” he said, noting the red slowly blooming across her fingertips. “Is that a legitimate allergy of yours, or is it because you’re a werewolf?” Katie rolled her eyes. “Real mature.”“I’m being perfectly serious.”“I didn’t ask for Pidge,” she grumbled.“I didn’t ask for her, either,” growled Keith, “but here we are. I swear, this damn universe is hellbent on watching me suffer.”Katie threw her hands in the air. “Do you think you’re the only one suffering? That you’re the only one who’s lonely and messed up? I tried with other people, before you came along. I had a boyfriend here and there, but it never lasted long.”“Because Pidge ate them?” “No! It’s because I couldn’t be honest with them! I couldn’t tell them about Pidge. I couldn’t explain why I had to vanish for a night every month, why I couldn’t let them in my house in case they saw my basement and thought I was Hannibal Lecter, why I collected farm animals like they were goddamn Pokémon cards! They either thought I was crazy, or cheating on them, or both, and if they didn’t leave on their own, I had to push them away when they got too close to the truth.” Katie looked at Keith, right into his soul, as desperate for something, anything, that she had been that morning when he had called her a monster and stormed out of her house. “You’re the first person to know that side of me, Keith. The first person I’ve ever truly opened up to.”An ache brewed in Keith’s throat. That urge to hold her returned, his Kogane impulsiveness trying to side with his emotions over his logic (the damn traitor that it was). But he managed to ignore it all and scowl instead. “Am I supposed to feel honored by that?”Katie groaned. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I’m only here because Gwen wanted me to be. I’m doing this for her.”“So am I,” he said shortly. “Which I wouldn’t have to do at all if you had stayed away like I said.”“Don’t pin this on me! I was trying to stay away from you!”“Well, you should’ve done better!”“That makes two of us!”They glared at one another. Katie was just as stubborn as Keith was, it seemed. Just as defiant in the face of authority. It both charmed and infuriated him.“You know,” she sneered, poking him in the chest, “I could’ve let Pidge eat you. I could’ve left the basement door wide open last night. It would’ve made her so happy, ‘cause, lemme tell ya” -- her eyes roamed over him (and not in the way that he would’ve liked) -- “you look fucking delicious.” He snorted, refusing to back down, even though the proximity to her made his heart race. For multiple reasons.Katie then faltered, backing away as if he had burned her worse than silver ever could.“Crap, no!” she said, panicking. “Sorry! I’m sorry! I don’t mean any of that. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt Gwen. I don’t want to hurt anybody! You’re right -- I need to do better at staying away from people!”“Good that tonight is a one-time thing, then,” said Keith, finally remembering how to breathe. “I told Gwen that--”Katie turned to him, horrified. “Don’t tell me that she knows about Pidge!”“I didn’t tell her about Pidge! I told her that you and I weren’t talking anymore. What I’m trying to say now is that we need to figure out how this” -- he gestured to himself and Katie, and to whatever relationship, romantic or otherwise, that could’ve possibly existed between them -- “can end amicably in a way that doesn’t hurt Gwen, and try to be more careful so that we don’t run into each other again. Gwen really likes you, and I don’t want to lead her on.”“You won’t have to worry about that much longer,” muttered Katie, crossing her arms. “I’ll be moving away soon.”Keith paused. “Wait, you’re leaving Plaht?”She avoided his eyes, a mixture of angry and hurt. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”He was silent. On paper, that was what he wanted. He had spent the past few hours between returning from Slav-Mart and Katie’s arrival contemplating how easier his life would be once dinner was over and they said their final goodbyes. But now that he stood there, now that she stood there, both knowing it’d be the last time they’d see one another, a sinking feeling grew in the pit of his stomach, threatening to take his heart with it. Katie had literally crashed into his life and had swept him away in the chaos, capable of bringing things out of him that he thought he had lost, understanding him in ways that no one else could. That flannel shirt of hers even hid a scar on her shoulder that was really no different than the one on his face. She was strong, courageous, smart, and beautiful. Despite all the monsters in the world.It stung, how much he wanted her.
If only you weren't a werewolf…
“Pidge scares me,” he murmured.“No shit. She’d scare anyone.”Keith shook his head. “No, I mean, she scares me more than anything else. I don’t do well with wolves. I had a bad experience when I was a kid, when a wolf killed my father.”Katie gaped at him, stunned. Conflicted, too, perhaps by that same urge to hold him that was just as strong as his own urge for her.She looked away, hurt all over again.“That wolf wasn’t Pidge,” she said softly. “You can’t blame her -- me -- for something that she didn’t do.”Keith opened his mouth, and he closed it. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I can’t.” He sighed. “Why?”“Why what?”“Why did you bother returning my laptop?” he asked, old insecurities making themselves known. He may not have cared much about the people he had dated before -- not as much as he cared about Katie -- but those past breakups had still fueled abandonment issues that stemmed from his childhood and his time in orphanages; the lingering idea that he wasn’t worthy of what everyone else seemed to have. “Why did you try to help me at all? I have all these problems. All this baggage. Even if Pidge wasn’t in the picture, why would you want to stick around with someone like me? Someone who’s so messed up?” “I’m broken, too,” said Katie, tone gentle. “With or without Pidge.” She smiled, sad. “But I like to think that some things are worth the mess.”Keith stared at her longingly.Gwen then walked through the back door, parsley in hand and none the wiser.“Here you go, Dad.”Taking the parsley from her, Keith opened the cupboard and pulled out some plates. He forced a smile of his own -- and, just like that, for better or worse, the armistice between him and Katie was back.“Everyone ready to eat?”For most of dinner, Keith, Katie, and Gwen sat at the table and ate in silence. Apart from the occasional clink of plates and cutlery, the air was a quiet kind of awkward. Keith sipped his wine, gazing at Katie every now and then, dreading when they’d have to tell Gwen about Katie’s departure, and dreading when he’d have to accept it himself. Gwen glanced between him and Katie, finding the hushed atmosphere just as stifling. Undoubtedly she had expected them to talk more; the friendly chemistry that had once existed between them had seemingly vanished. She pondered for a few seconds, and she looked at Katie again.“Dad told me that you have a lot of Gundam models.”The sudden, human sound almost made Katie jump. “Did he?”Keith shrugged. “Gwen wanted to know something interesting about you. I figured that’d be a fun fact to share.”“Ah.” Katie rubbed the back of her neck. “Well, I wasn’t kidding when I said I liked Gunpla.”“That’s cool,” said Gwen, picking at her food some more. “I like to draw.”“Yeah?”Gwen nodded. “Yeah.” Her eyes lit up a bit. “Wanna see?”Katie blinked. “Sure.”Gwen slid out of her chair and ran to her bedroom. In the minute that she was gone, Keith and Katie finally met each other’s eyes. She winced, as if his gaze pierced her, and she averted her focus.“Art is really important to Gwen,” he murmured, uncertain as to why he was doing so. “It’s one of the few things out there that helps her cope with everything. She doesn’t really share her drawings with anyone. Not like she did with her mother.”“Oh,” breathed Katie.Gwen reappeared, sketchbook in hand. She handed it to Katie, who cradled it like the heart that it was and slowly opened it to examine the drawings inside. She flipped through sketches and colored pieces, brows rising in genuine amazement.“Wow,” she said. “This is really good stuff!”She soon came upon a series of comic book-style pages featuring a mech battling the armies of an alien warlord. The mech’s limbs were formed from five individual lupine machines, piloted by a team of brave and noble space warriors.She hummed, both amused and a little bit fond. “You like giant robots, too?”Gwen nodded. “I came up with that one on my own. It’s kinda like the Megazord, but it’s all wolves.” She frowned in thought. “I’m not sure if I want to keep them as wolves, though. I might try a different animal.”Katie handed the sketchbook back to her. “Whatever you choose,” she said with a tender smile, “I’m sure it’ll be great.” She hesitated. “Just promise me you’ll never give up on it, okay? Hold on to the things that make you feel safe, and never let them go. Trust me when I say that it really sucks to lose them.”“Okay?” said Gwen, dragging out the word as she eyed Katie warily. “But why are you talking like that?”Katie glanced at Keith.Keith sighed. Now or never. Before anyone gets too attached. “Katie has to go, honey,” he said.Gwen deflated. “Oh. That’s okay, I guess. We can always meet up again next week.”“No, Gwen,” said Katie. “I’m, uh, I’m leaving for good.”Gwen stared at her, processing. “For good?”“Yeah. I’m moving away.”“Moving away,” Gwen repeated, and her voice cracked: “But you’re coming back, right?”Katie closed her eyes, wishing just as much as Keith that things were different. When she opened them, she looked at Gwen, and she slowly shook her head.Gwen stepped back, distraught. “You’re leaving?”“I have to.”“Why? You can’t leave!” Gwen turned to Keith; the heartbreak in her eyes shattered him. “Dad, why aren’t you saying anything?”Keith swallowed his shame. “Sometimes people just have to go, Gwen.”Gwen sniffed. Katie reached for her, but she backed away from her touch.“Don’t cry,” pleaded Keith, standing to comfort her. “It’ll be okay. Your mom wouldn’t want--”Gwen backed away from him, too. “And what would you know what Mom wants?” she snarled. “She’s dead! She’s gone! Because that’s all people do! They leave!” For a brief moment, like the eye of a storm as it passed over, Keith saw himself standing where Gwen was -- a kid who had lost everything, who had chosen to push everyone away instead of risk getting left behind again -- and, just like he had done so many times before, she ran. The sound of her bedroom door slamming shut felt like a gunshot.He fell back into his chair, dropped his elbows on the table, and buried his face in his hands.“That could’ve gone better,” said Katie, cringing at her own awkwardness, at the real Katie who was knowledgeable in everything except other humans, and who was often as locked away as Pidge was. “I’m sorry. Matt never gave me advice for stuff like this.”Keith exhaled, long and slow. “Fine. It’s fine. Just…” He gritted his teeth. “See what I mean? Just when I think that I’ve finally built my life back up, Jenga block by agonizing Jenga block, the universe knocks it all over again like some asshole cat.”Katie appeared ready to rush over and embrace him.But she didn’t.She sighed instead.“I should go,” she murmured, standing up from her chair. “Thank you for dinner. It was good.”Just as heartbroken as Gwen was, Keith swallowed the shame that had returned with a vengeance. “Right. Okay. But say goodbye to Gwen first?”Katie nodded.They headed down the hallway, silent in their mourning. When they reached Gwen’s room, Keith knocked on the door.“Hey, Gwen? Katie is leaving. Come say goodbye.”There was no response. He knocked again. There was still no response. Concerned, he opened the door.His face fell at the sight of an empty room. An empty room with an open window.“No,” he breathed, rushing to the window, and he stuck his head out of it. “Gwen?” he called into the night, frantic. All he saw was darkness, his daughter nowhere to be found. “Guinevere!” “What’s going on?” asked Katie.Keith pulled away from the window, devastated. “She ran away!”Katie’s eyes widened. “What?”“She does this! When she’s really upset! Shit, I should’ve known!” He glanced at the window sill, where, beside her sketchbook, sat one of the few remaining links that Gwen had to her mother. “And she left Kosmo! She never leaves Kosmo behind!”He barrelled past Katie, heading outside to search for Gwen. Along the way, he pulled out his phone to dial Lance and Hunk for help.