Work Text
Raymond had been stalling in his shared bedroom for about half an hour. The panicked yelling and arguing coming from the dining room and kitchen was not helping him hurry the hell up and get out there.Holidays never went well, especially if the whole family gets together. And yet, he still had to show off and look his best. He had been waiting in the room checking every last bit of his outfit, making sure it was nice enough. Dont get him wrong, Ray was no perfectionist, and didn't care much about what he looked like or what people thought about his appearance. But everyone still had something to say about it. To put it short; this family was quite judgmental sometimes. But thats besides the point. You've been pacing around this room for forever now, get a move on man!Raymond sighed, stopping just before the door, eyeing the handle. He still heard everyone arguing downstairs, and what he assumed was a metal pot getting thrown against something. A missed shot at someones head, probably,,
'What're you stalling so much for? Not like its the first time you're meeting your husbands side of the family.'
",,you aren't being helpful."
'Neither are you, now get down there. I smell something burning.'
What a shocker,, somethings on fire? How does Xlip even smell in there,,? Its a voice in Rays head―yknow what don't think about too much.Ray huffed, checking his bowtie one last time before finally leaving his and Tims room. And as he expected―the bottom of the stairwell was completely hidden in black smoke. Whatever was burning must've been charcoal by now. Wafting the black clouds out of his face proved pointless, as it just kept flying back. He eventually did make it out of the massive clouds though, despite being in a fit of coughs. All his senses were being assaulted at once, it seemed. Everyone was yelling, the smell of smoke and burning food was everywhere, and he could barely see through all of it.He could make out a few voices though―Timid, his long time platonic husband, was arguing with Berry about,, alcohol? Howl was crying about her poor pepperman plushie getting caught in the fire, and Inferno was waiting at the table, yelling about when would the food would be done.Done wouldnt begin to cover it, but whatever.Once Ray finally got a hold of himself, and could breathe properly without inhaling clouds of smoke, he spoke up."WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU ALL BEEN DOING DOWN HERE?!"Tim and Berry put a quick pause on their fight, they must've not noticed clippys presence. Timid looked almost like a deer in headlights, but calmer in a way. The same couldn't be said about Berry. The two were completely silent though, the only sounds being the occasionally wails coming from Tim and Rays daughter and crackling of a growing flame."WELL??" Ray barked, expecting some kindof answer. God why couldn't they just have one normal holiday,,,"Uhm,,, well-"It only just now occurred to Raymond why exactly there was so much smoke, behind Timid and Berry was their entire kitchen, completely engulfed in flames. His expression mustve reflected this discovery, too."Listen before you say anything―""Oh my god. Oh my god. What the fuck happened??"",,,It was Timids fault." Berry had finally spoke up, and it was to push the blame on Tim."WHAT ??""YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE TURKEY, DONT WHAT ME !!""BOTH OF YOU QUIET." Clip interrupted, "I dont care whose fault it is, Berry. Just one of you put out the damn fire before it spreads to the rest of the house, please!!"Ray turned his attention to Howl, trying to ignore the continuous shouting from Berry trying to get out of this. At some point the wolf had started clinging onto his leg, sobbing violently and mumbling about the pepperman plush. Ray sighed, kneeling down a bit to face his daughter."What happened to your Pepperman, sweetie?" He tried sounding calming, but the irritation caused by everyone else in the house was like venom dripping from his mouth. It was,, quite obvious he was pissed. Howl didnt seem to notice though. ",,sniff He got,, burned in t-the fire,,"Oh, no salvaging that one huh. Oh well,, not like he cant buy her a new plush. "Oh no,,! Well, um,, how about when the fire gets put out, dad'll go and find him and fix him up for you,, okay? It might,, take a little while though, is that alright?"",,alright" Howl hugged Ray, wrapping her paws around him and accidentally getting tears and probably snot all over what he was wearing. Oh well,, not like he was planning on wearing this ever again anyway,,. He ran a hand through her fluffy hair before telling her to clean herself up and wait at the table while he helped get everything back in order. After she ran off to the nearest bathroom to wash off, Ray stood up to his full height and brushed himself off. He braced himself for whatever he might see when he turned back to the kitchen, and was greeted by exactly whatd youd expect. The whole room and everything in it was completely chared black. Nothing looked salvageable. At all.The sight of Timid pulling the once-turkey out of the damaged oven was just the cherry on top. It was more like a pile of charcoal dust and bone, rather than a thanksgiving turkey. Unlike last year, they didn't have any backups. This was it. This was the one turkey they had, unless someone wanted to try and go to the forest out back and catch a wild one. Which as fun as thatd be to watch―it isnt happening.Never again.From all the burnt debris, he could somehow make out what used to be Howls pepperman plushie. It was,, not a pretty sight, to say the least. It was barely recognisable as pepperman at all. The chared red fabric and haunting smile was,, terrifying. Definitely trashing this one. Howl can get a new one for christmas anyway, it was just around the corner. As much as Ray hated that fact.Looking around the kitchen, he noticed all the food he and Tim previously prepared was also burnt to ash. Sweet,, all that effort was for nothing. This thanksgiving was going just amazing. Self presentation was the last of his problems. No way it could get worse from here,,right?'Wrong. Absolutely wrong.'Oh you shut up. Ray sighed, leaning on the counter and holding his face in his hands, glasses pushed up out of the way. What are they supposed to do now,, Short of ordering something, they had no food. The fridge was scorched alongside the rest of the kitchen―wait thats actually not that bad of an idea.It was unlikely that any place would be open right now, considering its a holiday, but its worth a shot. Raymond fixed his glasses before getting up to find his phone, probably left it upstairs in the bedroom,,The short tree elf made their way down the path to the front door, holding a basket almost bigger than they were close to their side.Just before they knocked, the sharp smell of smoke became very apparent. Oh dear,, did someone start a fire without them ?? Twig knew this family was full of criminals and no one was well behaved, but atleast wait for them to get there before commiting arson !!Twiggy internally sighed, setting the basket down and knocking on the door―quite hard, to make sure theyd get someones attention. It sounded pretty chaotic in there, even if it was less than usual. After a few moments of nothing, they knocked again. "Hello? Anyone there??"They mustve stirred something up inside by speaking up, because who they assumed was Howl had started barking loudly like a viscous guard dog. Someone had to be hearing that. Eventually it went quiet, and Twig noticed curtains shifting by a nearby window. Maybe she was checking who was there? Whatever the case―the door did finally open for the elf, and it was the very wolf herself who greeted them.Said wolf was towering over the small elf, "Ohh, Hi Twig !!" Howl was almost shouting, but it didnt phase the elf anymore. She was always very loud, if not rambling about pizza tower."Ah! hello Howl !! Is uh, one of your dads around?" Twig motioned towards the basket beside them, "I brought some things for everyone!" Howl thpught for a moment, messing with one of her paws. "Hmm,, Tims in the kitchen cleaning and uh,, Clips um,, I dont know actually! i think he went upstairs, dont know what for though.""Hmph, alright,, can you go get one of them?" Twig asked, looking up at the much taller young wolf. It was an awkward angle, but they were used to it. "Okay !!" She tried mocking a salute before running off, but it looked more like she just raised a paw to her head. After a little while of waiting―with the door left wide open, they could probably just walk right in if they wanted―Howl finally came back, dragging a disgruntled Raymond behind her. He was on the phone, trying to block out the various sounds of cleaning and Peepaw complaining. "Right uh―,,,No- its 738-6695 on Icup Lane. No not―Yes !! okay, thank you." Ray sighed, putting the phone down. Twig wanted to ask who he was talking to, but that was none of their business. Unfortunately. It took a moment, but after a small tug from Howl, Ray finally noticed Twiggy was waiting in the doorway. ",,oh! uh―Hi Twig, I uh,, didnt see you there, my bad!" Ray clasped his hands together, trying to appear excited or at least any positive emotion instead of what he was really feeling. "Youre a bit late, please come in !!"He moved out of the way, and Howl hid behind him, peeking out from behind his legs. Twig picked the basket back up and made their way in, looking around. The dining and living room was nicely decorated, per usual. The family was filthy rich, so going all out on holidays wasnt unknown to them. Twig couldnt see the kitchen from here, but the smell of charcoal couldnt mean anything good. So someone did start a fire without them !! Rude.Ray mustve noticed they were catching onto the fire―or not, and was just curious, doesnt matter. Twig didnt know―because he quickly brought something up to catch their attention. "Hey uh, whats in the basket?,," He tried asking politely, but being nice like that wasnt easy for him. Rays used to being very blatant alot of times, or even just plain rude. He was trying his best though, good for him. "Oh! its uh,, the reason im late actually! I brought some things for you all!" Now that piqued Rays interest. People rarely brought things for them, unless it was christmas and they were just trying to look like they cared. Whatever, getting offtrack here. "Really? Like what,,?" Gifts from Twig were,, always at least a little unusual. I mean they brought Howl a bag of weed for Halloween once, he had every right to be atleast a little worried. "ohh yknow, just some snacks, a few things for dinner i made,, you guys put alot of effort into these holidays so i thought id contribute a little too!" The elf looked quite happy to try and help out, and it was very much appreciated considering the current situation. Twiggy lifted the basket higher, offering it to Raymond. "Really? Wow,, how nice of you!"Ray inspected the basket, immeadly get attacked by the faint smell of almonds. Ohh, these kindof snacks. Twig knew Raymond too well. Alongside the smell of cyanide, there was something else. It was barely there but just apparent enough to be caught by his senses,, what was that,, it was almost vinegar-y―Oh. Oh,,, dear. ",,Twiggy.""Yes?" The elf looked back up at Ray, knowing exactly what he caught. There was no hiding it anyway."Did you put cocaine in one of these." He stared down at Twiggy, deadpanning. He already knowing the answer was yes. Turns out he knew Twiggy just as well. Damn tree,, "Wouldnt be a gift from me without it," They smiled, before running off unprompted to go wait at the table. Speaking of which―the food Ray ordered will be here any moment. He sighed, dismissing the whole interaction he just had. Howl peeked out from behind him, sniffing at the basket. "Is there something in there for me?" Ray looked through the basket a bit, spotting a small tupperware bowl with 4 Howl neatly written on the lid. Ray didnt tell her that, though. "Im sure aunt Twiggy got you something,, why dont you go wait at the table with the others until the foods h-,,ready, okay?" She sniffed at it again, probably noticing the smell of vinegar, before mumbling a quick Okayy,, and scampering off. Ray left the doorway and made his way to the burnt kitchen―that was,,impressively clean, considering the state of it. He set the basket on the less charred side of the counter, waiting for Tim to finish cleaning up. It didnt take too long, they had been working pretty quickly and had some help. Speaking of which, Berry was nowhere to be seen. Probably trying to break into the wine cellar downstairs, Ray figured. Meanwhile,, Howl had been waiting around for quite a while,, it was getting boring !! She didnt have her bootleg ipad right now, because no one ever had their electronics out during holidays. Her dads said it would be rude, but at least let her have it for a little bit if she has to wait eternity for the actual events to start !!She huffed, slumping down in her seat. Grandpa looked half asleep, Twiggy was distracted messing with a plant on the center of the table, and her dads were in the other room talking about something. Probably boring adult stuff. Nothing interesting was happening,, so you couldn't blame her when she got excited over someone knocking at the door again. She bolted out of her seat, beating Raymond to the door. "Ah! Hello there," The man at the door greeted, holding two bags to his side. Both of them had some trademarked food joint logo printed brightly on them. Looked like McDonald's, but it was hard to tell because how dark it was outside. "Order for a uh,,Raymond Bowman?"Howl just stared up at the guy, thinking. He looked,, so familiar. Eventually Ray caught up, stepping infront of her."Sorry about that!! Uh, here ill take those-" Howl kept staring as Ray took the bags and handed the guy money, almost completely unblinking. Whyd she know that face,, Ray glanced down at Howl, confused by her fascination with the delivery guy. He will admit, he,, kindof had a peppery vibe to him. But he wouldn't say that aloud. Maybe thats it. Howl thinks he looks like Pepperman,, and Ray can definitely agree. The guy spoke like him too. Peppery jumpscare aside, they had food now. Shitty McDonald's food, but still, food. Better than nothing. Ray sighed, getting plates and such organized in the kitchen. Everyone ate something different, and wanted their plates a different way. Hes starting to regret turning down Tims offer to help,, Who knew it was so hard to prepare plates of fucking McDonald's food.At least he was alone in the kitchen, and no one was around to watch him lose a fight with a paper bag and whatever was inside of it. 'God you're pathetic. 'M starting to think im the one whose actually strong here.'It took everything in Raymond not to start hissing insults and curses at the voice in his head. He knew better than that, but Xlip knows just how to push him sometimes. Just when he thought he was done getting everything set and ready to bring the food to the table, he remembered the basket of,, snacks, Twig brought that had been sitting on the counter. Oh, yeah. They said they brought some things for the dinner, right ? He should probably bring those out too. Too bad he didnt know what was in that basket. Aside from cyanide and cocaine. ",,Hey uh, Twiggy? Can you come here for a sec ?"The elf in question came running over after a few seconds, taking a moment to look around the burnt remains of what used to be the kitchen, muttering a quiet Woah. "Yeah, whats up?" Twig looked up at Clip, wondering what they were called for. "Can you help me with the uh,, basket, whatevers inside it.,, I dont know what in there is for who.""Oh, sure!" They walked over, reaching up for it―Ray ended up having to hand it down to them but thats unimportant. They dug around in it for a bit, before they started to hand a few of the contents to him, explaining which was for what person. While Twiggy was talking and looking through the basket, Raymond started plating what he had so far. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary―most of the things were small bite sized foods and pasteries that probably had something mixed in them that shouldnt be there―then he got to the tupper bowl labelled Howl, which had,, cheese-stuffed peppers inside. "Uh,, Twig?" He turned to look over at the shorter elf, who hummed a quick Yeah? in response. "What are these?,,"That was a dumb question, because he knew what they were. He just,, didnt know why. "Oh! uh, I stopped and got some peppers for Howl! Shes always talking about cheese-stuffed peppers so I thought Id get her some. Why?" Oh. Oh,,",,uhm, Twiggy, you know she isnt,, actually talking about the food, right?""What do you mean?"Before Ray was forced to come up with an answer that wasnt 'Howl calls pepperlante smut cheese-stuffed peppers because we think its funny.' he was thankfully saved by who he assumed was the wolf herself yelling at him to hurry up with the food. To be fair, he was taking a while, But that was no way to talk to your father! Hes gonna stop complaining, though. She did just save him from a very awkward conversation he did not want to have,, He huffed, dismissing Twiggy and finishing up the food. Peppers included. Meanwhile at the table, Berry was sipping wine watching Howl and Inferno argue about whether the fruit or color orange came first. It was dumb, but mildly entertaining. "I'M TELLING YOU, THE COLOR CAME FIRST !! THEY NAMED THE FRUIT AFTER THE COLOR, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND !""WH-,, HOW DID THE COLOR COME FIRST ??"Howl was quick to start barking arguements back, and Grandpa was at lose for words. Her persistance was impressive, but driving Tim insane. Berry saw them in the corner of their eye, probably googling the answer so they can correct the two and put an end to this. They mustve gotten the answer, but before they could say anything Twiggy and Ray finally came out of the kitchen, food in hand. Well, Raymonds hands, atleast. Twiggy just came scampering over, siting in their previously empty chair. "Foods ready !!" Ray anounced, getting Howls attention away from arguing about oranges. "Sorry it took so long,"He started putting plates down, making sure everyone got the right one. Howl started giggling as soon as she got hers, probably trying to hold back from laughing hysterically as the peppers Twiggy got her. Ray couldnt blame her. It was really stupid, but god damn it was funny. To them it was, at least. They had a very immature sense of humor, and were well aware of it. Ray took his own seat just beside Tim, as everyone started digging in and starting mindless smalltalk."Is this McDonald's?" Someone piped up."would you prefer the stuff that burnt in the kitchen ?"",,,No, thanks."Raymond flopped down on his bed, huffing. Thanksgiving was officially over, and everyone had gone home. It lasted,, alot longer than he thought it would, checking the clock beside his bed it was―Holy shit, it was past 1 AM ?!Dinner was supposed to be over by at least 10, what the hell happened ?The whole night was so much longer than he realized, he supposed. To be fair, alot happened. And he spent about an hour hesitating in the bedroom,,He didnt wanna think about it for too much longer, tonight was exhausting and he was ready for bed. Tim mustve thought the same thing, because they looked dead asleep in their own bed―and Ray was quick to follow. Sleep was calling, and he answered.Across the hall, Howl was in her own room. She was tired, but not about to sleep. She had to look for something, so as soon as she was sure her parents were both asleep―she made her way back downstairs, making sure she was careful of making too much noise. It wasnt the first time she had snuck down after her parents dozed off, so she had a decent idea of what floorboards and stairs creaked and was quick to avoid those. When the wolf finally made it down, she scampered off to the kitchen. Howl sniffed around the ash covered floor, looking for something. And low in behold, in the pile of ash sweeped up in the corner of the room, she spotted it.The dirtied red fabric stood out from the black charred debris―it was no mistake, that was her plushie !! She didnt think itd be around, since her dad said hed fix him up, but low and behold,, he was right there. The condition he was in didnt look good, though. She made quick work of digging him out, wanting to reunite with the soft pepper plush as soon as she could. She didnt exactly dig him out in one piece, though,,She got few bits of red and white fabric at a time, with no stuffing to be found. Oh,, no,,,She knew he wouldn't be in the best condition, considering the size of the flame, but,, he was almost incinerated. Theres no way Ray could fix him up from this,, Right? Who knows, her dad managed to fix a plushie that got shredded by a rabid cat outside on the streets before. Which truly amazed her, that cat did some real damage to him. Maybe she should just give it time,, dad could fix the pepper, right ? Probably,,She sniffed around the pile a bit more, looking for any possible remaining pieces of fabric. Looking across the room, she spotted a small bag hidden by the counter. She could see it was from some delivery company―Amazon, she assumed―and saw a bit of brown fabric sticking out, like whatever was inside wasnt packaged very well. She got closer, getting a better look at it. There was some writing in a foreign language, presumably chinese, on the side next to a sticker explaining the contents. It was hard to read in the dark, but it looked like it said something along the lines of,, Vigilante tower plush toy―Wait what ? Vigilante ??Was it some bootleg Vigi plushie ?? She ran up to the small bag, sitting down and making quick work of shredding it open to free the stuffed cheeseslime. She pulled the plush put of the bag, trying to hold back a fit of giggles upon seeing how poorly made it was. It hardly looked like The Vigilante at all. She still adored it though, hugging it and scampering back upstairs to her room. All previous sadness felt for Pepperman was quickly washed away by snuggling up in bed with the soft Vigi plush.She probably should have disposed of the packaging he came in, or not brought him up at all, but that was a problem for tommorow morning.
